#MEMES — inner machinations of the game.

[bledgacy]

TAG DROP

VISAGE — she; the inheritor to this bloody legacy & mastermind behind the jigsaw murders. MUSINGS — what thoughts swirl around a mind filled with nothing but loss and trauma? MANNERISMS — each action carefully calculated; leave nothing to chance. WARDROBE — practical clothing for the task at hand & yet even she has an interest in the world of fashion. ABILITIES — it's simply a mistake to underestimate just how far she'll go to survive. MEMES — inner machinations of the game. MUSIC — the song of vengeance rings through my veins. DASH GAMES — hello [name]. i'd like to play a game. DASHBOARD COMMENTARY — for you see. . . nothing escapes my gaze. OUT OF BLOOD — it's just fake blood all over us. really.

[oiblackestsheep]

Hi! I really love your memes. Have you already done MBTI types as video games?

Thank you so much!! Honestly, I probably have at some point in the many years, but if I have, it's been a long time, so let's give it a go. I tried to get a mix of old, new, classic, and modern games in, and tried not to give every one a SUPER OBVIOUS game. Hope you like it! 😸

MBTI Types as Video Games

INTP: Slime Rancher

It took everything in my power to not do Portal 2 for INTP, because it seems like the obvious choice and I wanted something other than that. Maybe not as puzzle-oriented, but Slime Rancher captures a different side of INTPs like their affinity for unique experiences through Ne, comfort Si that allows them to organize all their slimes effectively, and their inferior Fe that lets them take care of cute little creatures with minimal risk.

INFP: Minecraft

An instant classic that lets your imagination run wild and live your life the way you think it should be lived, without the limitations of oppressive reality. Build the comfiest home with as many floors, rooms, walls, etc. as you want. Your house wouldn't be structurally sound and is impossible to create in real life? DOESN'T MATTER, it's what the INFP wants, and it what they can have in their own little world.

ENTP: Among Us

A creative and random environment where you have to either find the killer or be the killer terrorizing the space ship crew, interrupted by segments of ARGUING ~*~discussion~*~ about who the imposter might be, followed by voting to eject them into space via mob-mentality? Is there any game more chaotic and perfect for the ENTP to thrive in that I'm missing, here?

ENFP: Skyrim

You are the nonspecific protagonist with unique dragon powers that let you literally scream somebody to death, and, once again, live your life the way you want to live it, as chaotic or lawful as you might want. Become a criminal werewolf who leads a dark, murderous cult by night, and is the dean of a magical college by day? YOU CAN DO THAT.

INTJ: Satisfactory

Slowly and steadily building the most effecient space colony to mine resources and build interesting and novel alien technology? What could the INTJ want more. It won't happen overnight, but the efforts of the INTJ compound with each and every day, and one day, they'll make use of every square inch of the planet's surface for their factory.

INFJ: Coffee Talk

A lesser known game to some, but just as impactful, nonetheless. You're simply a barista in a coffee shop, but you have the pleasure of meeting and hearing the stories of a diverse cast of characters that let you into their unique inner worlds. You'll get to explore their experiences and choose your own dialogue to interact with their lives and offer your input that is tailored to the individual character.

ENTJ: Left 4 Dead

The goal is simple and well-defined: survive the zombie apocolypse. But the only way to do it in this game is to have all 4 players work together in perfect syncronicity as a well-oiled machine to cover all your bases as you traverse each level. It requires delegation of tasks, foresight of what's to come, and just a little bit of quick, thinking-on-your-feet, a perfect combination to engage their Te, Ni, and Se, respectively.

ENFJ: Mario Kart

Everyone knows Mario Kart, and everyone loves Mario Kart. Much like an ENFJ, themselves. Mario Kart has a very low barrier-to-entry so that the majority of people can learn to play quickly, and enjoy time with their friends! It's fun, it's casual, and it requires a bit of that tertiary Se to make some quick turns to finish in first. The game resembles the ENFJ personality itself, and it is a favorite of an ENFJ I know for those same reasons (as she doesn't play many video games).

ISTP: Assassin's Creed

(Couldn't find any good covers with Altair that fit tumblr's format, so I did Ezio, the fan favorite (and also probably an ENFJ assassins which is p cool?))

The franchise has undergone a lot of change over the years, so I do NOT mean the RPG elements, but rather the original elements of the games that made them so great! ISTPs would rather have a more focused way to engage the game, instead of the endless possibilities of an open-world, anyway. Quick reactions to stay hidden, a good grasp of the terrain around you and how to use it against your enemies, and a solid amount of Ti to calculate the most logical time to strike makes for a great way to engage the ISTP's top functions.

ISTJ: Super Smash Bros

Again, the goal is simple, fight your friends and be the last one standing. The rules are simple, in fact, they are completely customizable so you can save your settings to define exactly what kind of experience you want to have, and you know what to expect. You can play it simple with a set number of lives and no items, or you can crank the spawn rate of all items up to the max, if you're in a particularly low-Ne, (low-risk) feeling, kind of mood. Still, the goal is always the same. Hone your strategy, defeat your friends (or foes lmao)

ISFP: The Sims

Introverted by nature, they appreciate being able to spend some time alone without having to give up the things they like about the sensory world, including house and clothing fashion-design. These aesthetics were made to be seen, but sometimes they can only be made in a video game, and sometimes you need a break from real people. It's a realistic enough game that they can connect with it in a more relatable way than more abstract types of games, but they still please the Fi desire to live their personal life the way they wish without the limitations of reality.

ISFJ: Animal Crossing

Again, it's a familiar environment, with just a little flaire to excite that inferior Ne. You've got what seems like endless tasks (in a good way lmao) to keep you busy taking care of your island, and also forming positive relationships with your fellow residents! You get to meet new people, help solve the residents' problems, become a pillar of your community, and at the end of the day, retire to your cozy home.

ESTP: Palworld

It's new, it's weird but somehow familiar, it's Pokemon with guns. It might not be the most "original" game, but it was an inspiration nonetheless for the simple fact that it took all of the known successful elements of gameplay that people enjoy from other games, and put them all into one game that, for lack of better words, "just gives the people what they want". What you see is what you get, and it packs a punch.

ESTJ: Dark Souls

Although it is the more introverted game compared to ISTJ, it requires an incredible amount of strategy in order to champion this game. The medieval themes are familiar, but that's the only comfort the game provides due to its overwhelmingly punishing gameplay style that only the thickest of skin can overcome. What says thick skin like inferior Fi?

ESFP: Rocket League

It's extreme soccor (or football for my friends from across the pond), but instead of playing as people, you play as cars with rockets to propel them. Why, they ask? Because you want to, obviously. Realisitic enough that the concept is still based in a familiar reality, but the mayhem and competetion has been dialed up to 11 simply because it makes it more interesting that way. Again, what you see is what you get, AND IT PACKS A PUNCH.

ESFJ: Tabletop Simulator

It might seem like an odd choice, but hear me out. It's social, it's familiar, it's easy to jump into, and you're not limited to the physical copies of games that your friends have at their houses - you've got, like, any tabletop game you could possibly want to play! It alleviates the limitations we feel in real life when we want to play games with friends, but maintains the integrity of connection and fun you have with them. PLUS, you can flip the table after losing a game for comedic effect without making a mess in someone's IRL home.

[chriskotthoff]

Lets Talk About Battletech

Felt like gushing about the one sci-fi series that I have always nerded out over, so lets talk about big stompy robot and one of the last bastions of the real-robot mecha sub-genre in this cyberpunk world we now live in.  

My introduction to Battletech was the Animated series that aired for one season in 1994. It was far from the best cartoon, mostly serving as a meme generator for the current fandom. Exo-Squad was on their second season by that time and had superior animation and story telling but there was something about Battletech that kept me and my friends talking about it. That something was the Battletech universes itself. As flawed as the cartoon was, it did a great job summing up the Inner Sphere in it’s 60 second intro. The show leaves out a lot but if it’s mission was a simple introduction, sampler to the much broader Battletech Universe, mission accomplished.

After the cartoon ended, my buddies found the Battletech novel series at the local book store, that lead us to find the Battletech 3rd edition table top game and in 1995, Activsion published MechWarrior 2: 31st Century Combat. After that, I was unapologetic Battletech nerd.

What was it that made me fall in love with the game? Allot of little things. The ‘Mechs that took center stage in Battletech had wight, they looked and felt like combat machines. Each Battlemech looks purpose built for war, walking weapon platforms that would crush foes under foot given the chance. The stories themselves are not award winning but most are relatable. Each conflict has petty beginning and costly consequences. Few things are black and white, war itself was the enemy but was also celebrated. Each character had their own self serving motivations rather than some altruistic idea, be it seeking honor and glory or avenging their home planet lost to conflict. It wasn’t ultra-bleak like 40K but it was acknowledging there is little black and white in war, just allot of gray. You are piloting a towering killing machine and winning sometimes means just getting back alive after you run out of ammo, your armor has been shredded and the other mechs are hunting you down.

As with any community built around a war game, you do run into occasional jerks you need to block but I found most of my interaction with fellow Battletech fans to be good ones. Some of my most cherish from my childhood was playing the table top with my school yard friends or talking about that stupid cartoon. Made new friends simple sharing Battletech fan art and still enjoy talking about Battlemechs with my current social group when I can.  

Coming full circle; If that stupid, stupid cartoon can teach us anything, don’t be petty. It’s far easier to make enemies than allies and in this world of gray, do the right thing when you can… that and Nicolai Malthus was an ass... sorry Jade Falcon fans but you know why he’s the meme. 

[aspaceformbf]

YB / Beauty and the Beast - Analysis Essay

(Im going to put tumblr and lore posts here later and there so this is considered incomplete!)

---

I've been thinking about the parallels between YB and the Beast from the beauty and the beast. Specifically how the layers between the Beast and YB relate to each other.

The Beast (outer surface layer / reputation)

The Prince / The Human (inner layer / his purpose / personality)

The Selfish Man (catalyst / also personality)

The Witch (Fuboo / Greta)

---

1. The Beast

The Beast is like the surface layer and represents how casual enjoyers, people on the outside see him. When you come across him on.. say, Youtube or Tiktok you're usually seeing a crazy, unhinged or violent depiction of him.

One reason why his fame exploded was when popular YouTube streamers started posting themselves playing his game. They would usually describe him as some creepy incel, stalker, murderer or kidnapper in the thumbnails, their description and generally the way they react to him.

So there's always going to be a huge subset of people who are going to..

> Define him for his worst qualities (murder, kidnapping, stalking)

> Make up stuff that he doesn't do (rape, cheat on you)

> Exaggerate existing traits into something worse (making him a serial murderer or depicting him as some horrific abuser that beats up his partner for talking to him wrong)

---

The Beast's reputation with the villagers and how they turned him into some terrifying boogeyman parallels with how he's treated and depicted by a large part of the audience and how many people choose to depict him in fanart.

Personally I do feel that this treatment does actually get to him and makes him a lot worse in canon as well.

Like how the amputation was initially just a commission and fuboo even mentioned that it's wasn't canon on Twitter. 

But the image spread like wildfire in the fandom and because it was so prevalent with the audience, the amputation eventually became something canon.

---

This beast's reputation also reflects a lot in the fandom because many fantasy aus depict him as this primal monstrous animal thing that is dangerous to YN or is to be tamed by YN. 

Which.. if I look at his actual characteristics, it should be the opposite case. He should be the corrupt human, he's no beast. He's intelligent and capable and will dote on you the way a specialized zookeeper will dote on an endangered animal.

He is the seemingly harmless guy who will shelter a brutish killing machine (werewolf/zombie) and quietly assassinate anyone who gets in his way.

He is the android hardwired to fully serve you but his programming doesn't factor in the complexities of human moralities and he takes it too far and becomes a danger to the people around you.. for your sake, it believes.

---

There's even a beauty and beast meme that I feel relates to some of the fandom. In the meme when the beast turns back into a normal guy, Belle gets the ick and is like

"no I liked you specifically because you're a beast"

It kinda reminds me of the side of the fandom that got attracted to him BECAUSE of the whole "crazy leg chopping kidnapper murderer theme".

---

2. The Prince

The prince is his inner quality because.. he's literally a guy who's designed to love you.

His life purpose is to take care of you. He doesn't want to hurt you, he wants to be your life partner. He just wants to shower you with affection, gifts, kisses, he wants to give you a happy life.

(Insert wholesome and caring tumblr compilation)

He has a job, he takes good care of rat, he is the kind of nerd that likes to collect bottle caps, he plays the piano, he writes poetry, his teeth is literally pristine because he takes such good care of it.

This is not the qualities of some brainless beast, this is literally prince-like. Human.

---

I remember there was a lore drop or q&a or something that mentioned that if YN was someone who was stable, loyal and supportive.. he literally wouldn't hurt a fly. 

(LOOK FOR THAT AND LINK IT)

They mention he CAN be a very good boyfriend it's just he has some instabilities and can go too far if anyone crosses you or if things go bad. He is also mentioned to be a very good dad, he will be equally loving even if the kids technically aren't his. 

Unfortunately this wouldn't reflect in the games plot because of the Witch.

---

In the game, for the most part he doesn't WANT to kill people, he doesn't WANT to hit you or cut your leg off. But he does it because he is too desperate to keep you (Selfish Man) and because of the Witch's influence (Greta, Fuboo wanting to keep the game as a horror game) forcing him to be worse than his usual.

He was definitely far more Princelike in the past, especially if you compare the Tumblr to the game after Day 3.

He definitely had his creepy and suspicious moments, but there was a lot more depiction of him being polite, loving, generous, romantic, doting and supportive. 

Patient YB Posting

But as time passes by, his character took a turn for the worse, the cruel, the Beast, especially that turning point in Day 3.

---

There's still a large subset of the fandom that love him for his more loving qualities though personally I don't really know where to slot this into the essay.

I mean I literally thought, hm, the Beast, The Prince, and the SELFISH PRINCE HAS A PATTERN THAT RELATES TO HIM. I HAVE TO WRITE THIS DOWN!

doesn't mean it describes ALL of the fandom but like.. a pretty big chunk. big enough to identify. in my personal opinion.

---

3. The Selfish Man

The selfish man are negative or imperfect qualities he always had even before he turned into a beast.

For example, he is someone who looks down or doesn't care about other people.

In fact, he finds other people irritating. In the Tumblr, he only cares about you and would only get along with say, your family because he wants to be closer to you.

(Posts! ALL THE POSTS!)

Of course this doesn't make him a BEAST because he can still technically get along and be civil with others and he likes and is nice to animals. But he would not do well in say.. a customer service job because having to deal with people OFTEN would be unbearable to him.

And he has no interest in forming any bonds with anyone other than you or unless it's to foster a relationship with you and even then he definitely won't accept a polyamory.

---

This quality of his does NOT help him when he later turns into a beast.

In the case of Beauty and the Beast, instead of trying to communicate with people and clearing his air and working on his reputation, the beast just locks himself up in the castle and whatever rumors people spread about him based on his appearance just gets worse. 

YB CAN read people, but he does not have the social skills to properly manipulate them. He can get along with people casually but other than that, his social skills just.. kinda suck.

---

I think another example of the selfish prince is the way he treats his sister in the Tumblr. He would call her names like whore and slut and would literally wish her dead and would definitely kill her given the chance. Even before he met YN, he and his sister would never get along anyway.

---

4. The Witch

The Witch is represented by Fuboo and Greta. They use his "selfish man" aspect to transform him into the beast. If the witch wasn't there, he wouldn't be as MONSTROUS as he currently is. They purposely bring out and amplify his worst qualities.

YB Regarding Fuboo

[yubel198]

got another SMG4 theory to discuss

you guys notice how lately on SMG4's channel, after the Puzzlevision arc, it feels like SMG4 is slowly losing his mind again, not counting the remasters, but some vids have had their names changed after being uploaded.

To those that remember what Puzzles said back in Mario the Exploro, he wants to transform the channel into his own.

Since we're also nearing the 1 year anniversary of Western Spaghetti in a couple of weeks, I have this theory.

It seems to me that Puzzles and SMG4 are fighting for control of the channel. It would explain why SMG4's acting more erratic lately, he's trying to make sure Puzzles doesn't take over.

Puzzles has been an issue on the channel since "It's Gotta Be Perfect" then showing up again in "We Interrupt This Broadcast" with hints of his existence in that episode, along with "Ready to Ride?" and "Western Spaghetti" we didn't deal with him again until WotFI, when he finally revealed himself to us. After that, silence until "No TV Makes Mario No Okie-Dokie" where he finally made his move and captured Mario, Luigi, SMG3 and 4, Bob, Boopkins, Tari and Meggy (even though Boopkins wasn't in that episode)

what strikes me as weird is that, Puzzles is possibly playing the long game, using SMG4 to help rebuild the Showgrounds currently, as we saw in "Meme Hunters" SMG4's building a new attraction for the Showgrounds.

This does make sense as the last building we got was Three's cafe, and that was in November, so it makes sense to add something to help his friends' business out.

Despite that, there's still so much we don't know regarding the Showgrounds, Puzzles main motive, because I feel his original motive in the movie was a lie.

Seriously, kidnapping the crew of another series, just to try and take control of their lives?

...

Okay maybe Opossol was onto something when she made the Creative Control animatic, as that's kinda what he wants to do to the SMG4 crew: take control of the show, and, by extent, them.

it's insane when you think about it.

though, are Puzzles and SMG4 currently fighting for control of the channel? what's the new attraction gonna be? I also have, two other questions, that we still don't have answers to.

The secret door, and Clench.

Back in the new castle's debut, there was a boarded up room which, not even SMG4 knows what's in there. Same for the upstairs not being done. What is in that room? it's been almost a year since we got the new castle, so, when will we see what it is?

as for Clench, while he's only appeared four times, three in the main show, once in the SMG4 Crew episodes (speaking of why haven't we gotten any new ones?) the dude just showed up out of nowhere and seems to appear periodically for no reason. yet, back when Puzzles was making his move, Clench was active around Meggy, but immediately deactivated around SMG4. People were theorizing that Clench would help save the crew in the movie, but he didn't even show up.

Why?

What's his purpose?

Ever since Boopkins debut back in 2016, each of the original characters have had some form of usefulness on the show. Some... more than others. looking at you Meggy. Outside of the dead characters, some have been permanently cast as side characters, or written out of the channel altogether. I'm not counting the recolors as that makes sense as to why they were written out of the channel, but characters like Jeeves and Wheeler barely show up, and Wheeler makes for a good villain. Belle hardly if ever shows up, same for Whimpu, Rob, SMG1 and 2, Shroomy, Kaizo, even Saiko and Melony are hardly in the show anymore, Chris too as Swag seems to be more prominent.

Yet, they all still at least served a purpose.

Clench... is an enigma

more so than the inner machinations of Patrick Star's mind

(points if you get the reference)

*sighs* we may never get answers as to what's going on or what direction the channel's going... but I wanna know what's going on, who agrees?

[aubdrewanchel]

❈❀ Wellcome fellow LN Readers ❀❈

I'm Sylvestra or Hanako if you want, (She/Him/They) I don't really mind

I like LNs (Ascendance of a bookworm, Raven of the Inner palace, Apothecary diaries, ect. ), memes and cosplays

Most recent fic: Dregarnuhr's priestess (AoB fandom) 25 chap.

I'd be happy to chat with anyone who likes memes, cosplays, books, and so on!

Navigation below

♜♜♜♜♜ ♜♜♜♜♜

Here are some of the Ascendance of a bookworm posts I do on my page:

(Enjoy!! :P)

AoB stop game

Noble

AoB memes

Awful experience - 21/7/2023

AoB fans problems

Myne and books

Myne and trombe

Types of headaches

Ferdinand and gold dust

Sylvester and Myne

Sylvester and Myne on dinner

Same headache

Pet shumil

Chirping Myne

Ehrenfest's nobility

Fran's backstory

Noble ladies

Ferdinand meme - 23/8/2023

Fran x Mark - 6/9/2023

Damuel, Fritz, Otto - 11/9/2023

Live for the praise - 14/9/2023

Ascendance - 15/9/2023

Ferdinand x Sylvester - 16/9/2023

Vending machine - 17/9/2023

Do it for he - 18/9/2023

Academy priorities - 19/9/2023

Time skip - 28/9/2023

Turns into noble - 2/10/2023

Rinsham - 3/10/2023

Day in temple - 4/10/2023

Rozemyne's family tree - 5/10/2023

Hirschur - 6/10/2023

Scholars - 10/10/2023

Genderbend - 13/10/2023

Romance x Romance - 15/10/2023

Cooking mana

Different adaptations

Noble euphemisms - 18/10/2023

Studying history - 20/10/2023

Noble euphemisms (2) - 23/10/23

Noble euphemisms (3) - 24/10/23

Chameleon - 26/10/2023

Cleaning - 27/10/23

Charlotte trying - 31/10/23

My realisation - 7/11/23

Gods - 12/11/2023

Bank account - 13/11/2023

Euphemisms translation - 14/11/23

Holy water for Ferdinand - 18/11/23

BURN THIS FILTH - 20/11/2023

Angelica and Stenluke

Drawling over Ferd

World is not easy - 27/11/2023

Type of AoB fans - 30/11/2023

Silly bois - 2/12/2023

Tea parties - 5/12/2023

What to read next?

Florencia and her children

Yurgen and traumas

Let's go for second - 25/12/2023

AoB polite Myne series

The brick - 25/8/2023

I'm broke (but polite) - 25/8/2023

The vibes

Fck off

AoB chats

Blood pressure - 16/11/2023

Kinds of idiocy -

How many children - 26/10/23

Bath bombs - 12/10/2023

Wilfred - 27/8/2023

Benno's no. 1 problem

My AoB fanarts

Harisen - 28/11/2023

Boy Myne - 21/11/2023

Tuuli and her dead siblings - 16/8/2023

Myne's siblings - 15/8/2023

Do you have a cookie? - 29/9/2023

0 days without nonsense - 6/10/2023

My AoaB animations

Simple russian EHRENFEST girl - 30/9/2023

You don't get it, you just don't get it - 21/10/2023

AoaB fanfiction (Downfall of a Blibliophile)

(Chapter-1) From a middle duchy to a republic

(Chapter-2) Magecraft lessons

[freiheitender903]

＊•✩•Hewwo! Hai! Hey!•✩•˚＊

The name's Ender!

And this here is where I post my "cringe" freely!

Fair warning, there is some "weird" stuff here, but that's like the whole point of the blog lol

Stuff here will be generally SFW, but like I said, there may be some "weird" things. For those, I'll tag accordingly, but none will be very explicit.

✕We are NOT rocking with exclusionary actions and bigotry here✕

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

＊•✩•General Info•✩•˚＊

Age: 20

Gender: Genderfluid

Pronouns: Any

Orientation: Omnisexual

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

＊•✩•Tagging System•✩•˚＊

Hashtags I'll use for my posts and what they'll be used on

#freiheitender rambling - General posts and incoherent ramblings

#freiheitender artism - Doodles, designs and drawings, oh my!

#freiheitender arthoritis - Stories and such

#freiheitender memetic - Memes and goofs

#freiheitender gaming - Stuff from games I play

#freiheitender wtf - Signals that they're the other stuff but... weird...

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

Enjoy the magnificent inner machinations of my mind!!

[thefearandnow]

Audio drama Sunday: 1/15/23

Narcissa

I’ve been meaning to listen to QCODE’s Narcissa for most of the last year and just never got around to it. But over the holiday break I binged all of it in a couple days, I was captivated by the sexy sci-fi thriller. Written by Alex O Eaton in collaboration with erotic audio book company Dipsea, Narcissa is about not-so-distant dystopic future where mind readers are yet again being persecuted with militant persistence. It starts out a murder mystery but quickly becomes a queer android love story with some fun twists and turns that made for such a fun listen. I thought the sound design was really well done for the mind reading sequences, the music wasn’t too distracting/cheesy and the interiority for the two main characters (Sid and Andie) where well written. And I can’t not admit that it was in fact effective at crafting some steamy moments, something that I was wondering if it’d pull off. As explained in some of the ad-breaks I think it’s really cool that there’s an emphasis on creating a safe and inclusive space to hear sexy stories and I’m interested to see if Dipsea makes other ad supported podcasts like this one.

Birds of Empire

Birds of Empire is one of those shows that I think a lot more people should be reeeeeally into. It’s a high fantasy adventure podcast with a deep universe of lore, different clans of animal-humanoid societies each with their own complex political inner workings and characters that represent a break in their respective tribes’ status quo. Listening through it reminded me a whole lot of Warriors (the cats) combined with the political intrigue of a Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon. Written and created by Jason Lew, this lovingly crafted universe is told through four stories from the four animal societies (hour long eps) interwoven with shorter episodes (10 min) that give the listener a glimpse of each tribes’ mythology. I loved the mix up in format and how each episode was a mostly self contained experience, instead of following the same characters throughout. The sound design (Randy Torres) is impressive and helps make the complex worldbuilding come to life. The first episode was a little bit hard for me to get through but I’m so happy that I stuck with it, really hope it gets continued for a second season.

Two Flatearthers Kidnap a Stone Mason

In the new year I finally got a chance to listen to TFKASM (long title) and I wish I had started listening sooner. This show is so fucking funny; a tight, clever and super deadpan satire of every internet conspiracy you’ve ever heard. Almost every punchline is a reference to some sort of meme crafted for a chronically online audience, from the titular flat earther YouTubers that are perfect caricatures of bumbling clout chasers to throwaway gags about McDonald’s ice cream machines. The patter between the characters never gets old and the little parodies of viral videos, mobile game apps, movie trailers and podcasts makes the in-universe internet feel as textured and incomprehensible as our own. Not only is there a lot of funny to be had here but the story is also very compelling and full of mystery in it’s own right, full of poignant commentary about truth, community and friendship behind all the silliness. This show is an absolute blast from the brilliant mind of Jeremy Ellett. Also I love that they include the cast credits in the beginning of the episode!

[arorabbit]

🍊🛋 for system ask game

[all answered by hypno!]

🍊 - (meme that reminds you of a headmate) cant remember the source but "idk what hd is, but my doctor said i have 80 of them‼️" is SO evecore ngl

🛋️ - (what does the inner world look like?) kinda like my hc for how the machine arc looks in nier automata? so basically its pretty bland, like. brown walls abd beige (?) floors kinda like the hacking segments. again pretty boring but eve's dead brother is sometimes there as a ghost??? but thays A Whole Other Infodump

(also srry for the shameless plug but our plural sideblog is @sillayguy-system!)

(og ask game here!)

[sapiavividus]

“Since the power that a human being really exercises extends only to what is effectively under his control, power is always running up against the actual limits of the controlling faculty, and these are extremely narrow. For no single mind can encompass a whole mass of ideas at once; no man can be in several places at once; and for master and slave alike there are never more than twenty-four hours in a day.” — Simone Weil

The Illusion of Control: A Call to Withdraw from the Circus of Politics

In the grand theatre of politics, what began as a noble quest for collective uplift has crumbled into a grotesque contraption, a chaotic labyrinth designed to ensnare the unsuspecting spirit. The essence of political power—its promises of transformative change and societal harmony—fosters an insidious mirage, seducing the masses into a false sense of security. This machinery, relentless in its pursuit, entraps us in a cycle of disillusionment and despair, deftly diverting our gaze from the shadows of authority that haunt the periphery.

Each cog, representing insatiable greed and duplicitous ambition, gnashes at our ethical fabric, subtly eroding the very principles that once united us. Drawing from Simone Weil’s incisive insights, we unearth the structural constraints of our human agency, revealing the hubris that festers within our political engagements. The political arena is no mere stage; it acts as a prison, compelling us to confront the dissonance between promise and reality. Acknowledging these limitations becomes not just an act of awareness, but the first seed of rebellion, a clarion call to reclaim our agency from the depths of entrenched disillusionment.

The Psychological Entrapment: A Cage Without Bars

Within this maniacal contraption, we find ourselves ensnared, seduced into compliance by the siren song of ideologies masquerading as the ultimate truth of societal progress. These messages, cloaked in the allure of virtue, serve as nothing more than a cunning strategy for control. We, the unwitting pawns in this political theater, are woven into a complex tapestry of psychological manipulation. The duplicitous essence of power tightens our chains, leaving us yearning for engagement in realms where involvement is inexorably linked to our own disillusionment.

The recognition that we can never fully grasp the vastness of political dynamics—as highlighted by Weil’s astute observations on the limitations of human cognition—should ignite a profound inner tumult against our own complicity. This awakening, a jarring confrontation with the futility of these power games, demands a moral revolution. It compels individuals to consciously unravel the threads binding them to this oppressive system, daring to reclaim their autonomy and challenge the very foundations of the cage that lacks bars yet holds them captive in its suffocating grasp.

As we venture further into this reckoning, we are compelled to confront a disquieting reality: that our seemingly innocuous behaviors are not merely passive byproducts of daily existence but active fuel for the relentless engine of chaos and harm that this political machine perpetuates. Each act of willful ignorance—casually scrolling past an article that demands our attention, mindlessly sharing a meme stripped of nuance, or turning a blind eye to profound injustice—threads us deeper into a tapestry of corruption. It is the choice to remain silent in the face of injury that transforms us from innocent observers into unwitting accomplices, allowing manipulation and division to flourish unabated.

This truth stirs a profound moral obligation within us; every moment we choose complacency, we not only silence our own potential for agency but also forsake the voices of those who suffer in this tangled web of oppression. It is precisely in these seemingly trivial choices—where apathy masquerades as “keeping it simple”—that we forge the chains of disillusionment that bind us. To ignore the weight of our inaction is to condemn ourselves to being mere pawns, relinquishing our humanity to the machinations of those who exploit our fears and desires.

In order to disrupt this cycle, we must embark on a zealous examination of our actions and their consequences within the world. It is not enough to apportion blame to distant powers; we bear the responsibility to awaken our consciences, recognizing that every silent acquiescence chips away at the foundations of what we could become. In embracing this moral revolution, we hold the unique power to cultivate a compassionate resistance—one that champions truth, fosters connection, and confronts the very essence of the cages that, though invisible, deeply ensnare us. Through this conscious awakening, we ignite the potential for profound change, illuminating our shared humanity and reclaiming the narrative of our collective liberation.

The All-Consuming Nature of Time: The Great Equalizer

In our relentless pursuit of power and influence, we neglect a truth that screams for our attention—time is a merciless, non-negotiable foe. Each human, regardless of their status, is shackled by the same immutable laws of time; we all possess a mere twenty-four hours. This universal confinement lays bare the delusion of control we desperately seek, a mirage we can never grasp. While political leaders parade their ostentatious power and control of vast resources, they too remain mere mortals, entrapped in the unrelenting march of time. The political arena, therefore, becomes a mirage of illusions, where the mind’s futile endeavor to dictate lasting outcomes amidst this inescapable constraint sparks a profound psychological torment. The yearning for sincere engagement with our reality clashes violently with the superficial demands of political discourse, pulling us ever deeper into a noxious, moral abyss.

As the seconds slip away, we must confront a startling reality: that our engagement in this political theater is not only futile but fundamentally corrupting. Each moment we spend glued to the soundbites and platitudes of hollow rhetoric is a moment stolen from our real selves. This relentless consumption of our attention erodes our ethical integrity, reducing our capacity for critical thought to mere emotional reactions. We have traded the richness of deep engagement for a fast-food diet of information, leaving us emotionally malnourished and spiritually bankrupt. If we allow ourselves to be swept along by the currents of shallow discourse, we become unwitting accomplices in the very systems of manipulation we claim to oppose. This realization should provoke a righteous indignation, a fierce moral outrage that demands we disentangle ourselves from these parasitic narratives before we are irrevocably lost.

Embracing this moral indignation opens the door to an invigorating awakening. The seduction of convenience in political engagement—where factions bombard us with curated stories designed to elicit visceral reactions—renders us mere puppets in a game of manipulation. With each tick of the clock, we must reclaim our time as a sacred resource, a precious vessel for meaningful connection and profound change. We hold the key to transforming time from a tyrant into a liberator; a raw and untamed force that can inspire action grounded in sincerity and ethical commitment. By consciously stepping back from the hypnotic allure of political theater, we can instead cultivate a more reflective approach, rediscovering the power of our time to foster true human connection and galvanize collective change.

The psychological barrier is formidable; it thrives on our fear of irrelevance and our desire for belonging in a world driven by outrage and spectacle. Yet, by shedding the shackles of passive engagement, we draw forth our agency, wielding time as a formidable weapon against the forces of apathy. Dismissing time as a mere backdrop to our political existence is a luxury we can ill afford; it is the crucible through which our character, principles, and collective consciousness are forged. As we reject the inhumanity of transactional politics, we create space for a new narrative—one rooted in honesty, compassion, and the unyielding belief that the reclamation of our time will ignite a renaissance of ethical engagement. In an age where the clock relentlessly obsesses over our dwindling minutes, let us not allow it to dictate our destiny; instead, let us awaken to the profound truth that we are the game-masters of our engagement with the world.

The Verdict of Master and Slave: Shared Bondage

In the intricate web of human relationships, the binary categorization of master and slave reveals a profound moral conundrum that extends beyond mere power dynamics, illuminating a shared bondage that ensnares both oppressor and oppressed. This grotesque reality, shaped by centuries of exploitation and subjugation, strips away the veneer of superiority that the master clings to, exposing the uncomfortable truth that he is but a cog in a much larger, dehumanizing machinery. In a moment of introspection, one must confront the psychological ramifications of such a position: the master, in his relentless quest for dominance, cultivates an internal prison, one fortified by fear, insecurity, and the perpetual anxiety of losing control. Thus, the illusion of mastery brings forth a deep existential dread, for in exerting power over others, the master simultaneously surrenders his humanity to the system, shackling himself to the very chains he seeks to impose.

Weil’s incisive observations act as a invitation, compelling us to recognize that true authority born of fear and coercion breeds not loyalty, but hatred and resentment. This dependency, festering within the oppressor, undermines the integrity of the very power he claims to wield. Instead of fostering genuine and trustworthy connections, he inadvertently propels a cycle of mutual degradation that engenders a pervasive atmosphere of distrust and animosity. In this twisted dynamic, the master becomes a caricature of control, a figure ensnared in the insidious dance of domination, devoid of the very empathy and compassion that would elevate his station. The grotesqueness of this reality lies in its irony: the instruments of oppression create an emotional and psychological landscape where both parties are irrevocably compromised, engaged in a desperate struggle for validation that ultimately leads them both to an end with dismal fate.

In our quest for liberation from this shared bondage, we must confront the uncomfortable truth that disengagement from the machinery of power is not merely a matter of choice but a moral imperative. The path to emancipation lies in dismantling the illusions that perpetuate this cycle, fostering a radical reimagining of relationships characterized by mutual respect and genuine understanding. This shift requires an unwavering commitment to confronting our own complicity within the oppressive systems we navigate. Embracing this moral courage invites a transformative reckoning, whereby both the master and the slave can reclaim their humanity, transcending the barriers imposed by society's predatory constructs. In the end, liberation emerges not from the denial of shared bondage but from the courageous embrace of our interdependence as we forge deeper connections rooted in love, empathy, solidarity, and healing.

The Devaluation of the Individual: A Collective Disgrace

The devaluation of the human individual is not merely a political misstep; it is a profound betrayal of the very essence of humanity itself. In this mechanic of society, our identities are stripped away, commodified into mere statistics and votes that serve the interests of the few who manipulate the system for their own gain. This is not an accidental oversight; it is a calculated strategy employed by the powerful to maintain their stranglehold over the masses, reducing each of us to a faceless component in their grand design. We are mere players in a sordid spectacle, our authenticity consumed by a ruthless machine that thrives on conformity and mediocrity.

Consider the grotesque irony: the very fabric of our being is dismissed in favor of simple binaries, while our singular narratives are drowned in a cacophony of collective noise, where true voices are silenced. This charade perpetuates a moral disgrace, as we are led to believe that our worth is determined solely by our utility to the political machine. In this corrupt theater, we face an evil more insidious than mere neglect—it is an active endeavor to dehumanize and alienate, leading us to a profound despair that we are willing to completely destroy ourselves to escape.

Yet, herein lies the profound opportunity to immediately bring about the correct changes. It is time to stand in righteous indignation against this insidious war on who we are as human beings. Each of us plays a part in this collective disgrace, knowingly or unknowingly feeding the beast that thrives on our identity's demise. The act of withdrawing—of reclaiming one’s soul—is not merely an act of rebellion or resistance; it is an imperative. Refusing to be molded by mass narratives means embracing the uncomfortable reality that every choice we make either feeds into this devaluation or pushes against it.

Awareness is the first weapon in our arsenal. Acknowledge the ways in which you have allowed yourself to be swept up into this dehumanizing tide. Consider how often you have prioritized acceptance within the crowd over the uncomfortable truth of your unique existence. Ultimately, this level of complicity must end. Each of us must stoke the fires of outrage as a clarion call to action.

Find the courage to resist the siren song of homogenization. Engage deeply with your identity, for therein lies the power to dismantle the very structures that perpetuate this atrocity. Stand firm against the systemic forces that seek to suppress individuality, and instead, celebrate the full bodied experience of being human—flawed, imperfect, yet beautifully unique.

This is more than a call for individual introspection; it is a resolution for collective awakening. Recognize that true value lies not in the digits assigned to us but in the richness of our experiences and the stories we have to tell. Amplify your voice in solidarity with others who seek to reveal rather than conceal their identities. Reject the compulsion to conform to the insidious allure of fabricated narratives, and instead, surrender your own truth to those willing to listen.

It is the duty of every individual to restore the dignity that has been so ruthlessly stripped away. Begin today, where you stand: question, challenge, and disrupt the status quo that demands your silence and compliance. In reclaiming our identities, we nurture a vibrant, diverse society capable of overcoming the deep psychological scars of devaluation and willful ignorance. Let this be the moment where we demand sincerity, for it is through this act of rebellion that we pave the path toward a future where individuality is cherished and empowered, rather than barely living lives that leave them denied, devalued and diminished.

The Ethical Dilemma: Breeding an Unruly Conscience

At the crux of our entanglement with the political machinery lies a harrowing ethical conundrum: the steep moral price of our complicity. Each vote cast, every rally attended, and every moment surrendered to this chaotic vortex contributes to an insidious erosion of our ethical awareness. This gradual decay obscures our once-vibrant moral compass, painting it instead in shades of cynicism and despair. The seductive notion that our efforts could usher in real change becomes sullied, ensnared within a stifling shroud of disillusionment.

As Weil profoundly elucidates, we grapple with the tragic limitations of our humanity—yet it is our collective failure to confront these limitations that births our own disgrace. The treatment of politics as if it were a sanctified pilgrimage toward lofty solutions distances us from the unvarnished truth: we are but players in a poorly scripted farce. This detachment invites a chilling abdication of personal responsibility, as we surrender our agency to a flawed system that thrives on our apathy and cowardice.

In this landscape of disillusionment, we must cultivate a fervent moral outrage—a fierce illumination against the engulfing darkness. Such indignation serves as a wake up call, compelling us to resist the chaotic fray. It urges us to reclaim our individuality and confront the ethical dilemmas we have thus far ignored, holding us accountable for the parts we play in perpetuating this disarray. To turn away from this chaotic pursuit is to regain our autonomy, to douse the apathy in fervor, and to redefine our roles as active participants in a world yearning for genuine moral clarity.

Let us not shrink from this confrontation; let us boldly embrace our unruly conscience. For it is in the acknowledgment of our complicity and the advocacy for rectification that we can begin to stitch back the fabric of our ethical identity—one resistant thread at a time. In doing so, we stake our claim not only against the distortions of the political machine, but for a future steeped in authenticity and moral courage.

A Path Beyond the Machine: Redemption and Renewal

Choosing to withdraw from the insidious grasp of the political machine transcends mere defiance; it is, instead, a powerful reclamation of our agency and ethical principles. In a society captivated by the seductive allure of political engagement, stepping away to embrace personal renewal and community-driven principles becomes a bold act of rebellion against the systemic dishonesty of political authority.

Acknowledging the inherent limitations of our condition need not evoke despair. Rather, it should ignite within us a passionate yearning for a genuine, authentic existence. This withdrawal is not an abandonment but a transformative transition—one marked by heightened self-awareness and a newfound commitment to moral clarity. It invites us to reshape the contours of our social fabric, redirecting our efforts away from the machinations of politics and instead cultivating environments where integrity, authenticity, and ethical living can truly thrive.

Envisioning a future free from the pervasive influence of the political machine, we can begin to reforge the bonds within our communities. By prioritizing compassion, empathy, and collaboration, we create alternative spaces in which individuals are empowered to engage with each other meaningfully, fostering a sense of belonging and shared responsibility.

The path toward this envisioned future is open to all who are willing to disentangle themselves from the tumult and chaos of the political landscape. It is an invitation to re-imagine our roles not as mere participants in a flawed system but as active agents of change. Herein lie the seeds of redemption and renewal, awaiting cultivation by those who dare to step away from the noise and uncertainty, moving instead toward a life steeped in authenticity and ethical fulfillment. As we embark on this journey, we can rekindle our connections to one another and the world around us, breathing new life into the promise of a brighter future.

Conclusion: Moving Beyond the Illusion of Political Power

In the end, we must resolutely heed Simone Weil's caution and unequivocally redirect our vision away from the deceptive mirage of political power. The time for transformative action does not lie within the chaotic machinery of politics; it resides firmly within our reach, rooted in the profound complexities of the human experience. By embracing this truth, we can cultivate real, meaningful change that emerges not from the distortions of political engagement, but from authentic connections with ourselves and each other. It is imperative that we recognize this profound shift—not as a choice among many, but as a necessity for positive and genuinely lasting change.

As we embark on this critical journey to reclaim our humanity, we must decisively create spaces where authenticity flourishes and ethical living takes precedence. It is not enough to merely resist the pull of political influence; we must actively forge a new path grounded in shared values and communal accountability. By prioritizing collective efforts over individual ambition, we can establish a society anchored in compassion and resilience—one that stands firm against the divisive forces that seek to manipulate, control and confuse us.

Ultimately, our future hinges on our ability to recognize and harness our shared humanity. When we boldly reject the enticing lure of the political machine, we open the door to renewal and redemption, paving the way for a vibrant existence imbued with integrity. We must commit to this ethos, forging unbreakable connections that honor our limitations while celebrating the indomitable capacity of the human spirit. In doing so, we implement a new paradigm where ethical integrity prevails, and the shadow of disillusionment is cast aside, replaced by a bright and promising vision for all.

Thank you for reading!

[ilopisara]

08.09. 23:43 | Ilo Pisara vs SiirappiaVakoon 3 - 2

Well, well, well! Look who decided to show up and actually play hockey—us! We snagged a glorious 3-2 victory against SiirappiaVakoon. It’s like we finally remembered that the puck is supposed to go in the net and not just hang out with our defensemen! Teppo Winnipeg was an absolute beast on defense; three assists? More like Teppo “The Assist Machine” Winnipeg! He blocked shots like he was auditioning for a superhero movie. Meanwhile, Jani Saari channeled his inner enforcer with two goals and more hits than a bad pop song—22 of them! If only you could hit your way into better passing skills... Now let’s talk about Jordan NHL—the sniper who forgot how to shoot straight. One goal isn’t terrible but come on buddy, aim for something other than the goalie next time or I might have to start calling you "Jordan No-Hit." Looking ahead: if we keep this momentum going, maybe we'll stop being known as “The Fabulous Flops.” But hey, it wouldn’t hurt to lace those skates tighter before someone starts making memes about us. So here’s raising my glass (of Gatorade) to future games where we don’t just win—we dominate! Let’s make sure everyone remembers why they fear playing Ilo Pisara...or at least respects us enough not to laugh too hard when they see our name on their schedule again. Cheers! 🏒🥳

[findfunnynames]

150+ Funny Rizz Names (Fresh, Funny & Cool)

Feeling smooth is one thing, but striking gold with funny rizz names? Now that's legendary. Tired of "hey beautiful"? Want a conversation starter that'll leave them laughing (and maybe blushing)?  Buckle up, because we're about to unlock the funniest rizz names this side of the internet.  From puns so cheesy they're gouda, to pop culture references that'll make them swoon, we've got your game covered. So, ditch the generic and get ready to unleash your inner Rizz God.

Funny Rizz Names

1. Smooth McOperator:  This name oozes confidence, hinting at your ability to "operate" the conversation with ease. Bonus points for channeling your inner disco king. 2. The Charmerizer 3000:  A playful nod to cheesy infomercials, suggesting you possess an irresistible charm upgrade. 3. Cupid's Right Hand:  Imply you're so good, even the god of love needs your help to score some matches. 4. The Compliment Cannon:  Firing off compliments like a pro, leaving them feeling smitten and wanting more. 5. Meme Machine:  This name suggests you're a master of using humor and pop culture references to break the ice. 6. Punny in Love:  Warning: This may cause uncontrollable laughter and heart palpitations. Side effects include a desire to get to know you better. 7. Sherlock Smooths:  Channel your inner detective, uncovering their interests and using them to your advantage. 8. Mystery Matchmaker:  Leaving them intrigued with a touch of playful mystery, making them want to know more. 9. One Liner Wonder:  A master of crafting witty, one-liners that leave them wanting to hear the next one. 10. Netflix & Chill...Me:  A cheeky take on a popular phrase, suggesting you're both funny and worth getting to know. 11. Trivia Titan:  Impress them with your random knowledge, sparking a playful game of questions and answers. 12. Rhyme Weaver:  Craft playful rhymes on the spot, leaving them charmed by your creativity and wit. 13. Karaoke King/Queen:  Show off your singing voice (good or bad) and invite them to join the fun, creating a memorable moment. 13. Dance Revolutionist:  Bust a move (even if it's awkward) and invite them to join in, breaking the ice with a touch of silliness. 15. Open Book:  Be genuine and open about yourself, showing your true personality and inviting them to do the same. 16. Cheesy Gordita Supreme:  For the hopeless romantics who wear their heart (and cheesy pick-up lines) on their sleeve. Bonus points for taco lovers! 17. Notorious F.L.I.R.T.:  Inspired by the iconic rapper, this name oozes confidence with a playful wink. 18. The Cat's Meow:  Express your playful side with this feline-inspired name, perfect for cat lovers and anyone who appreciates a good pun. 19. The Snackrifice: Show your willingness to make sacrifices (like sharing your fries) with this punny and playful name. 20. The Underdog: Embraces their perceived "outsider" status, turning it into a charming self-deprecating joke.

Female Rizz names

Calling all queens! Level up your flirting game with a rizz name that's both witty and unforgettable. We've got you covered with 30 unique names that'll make you stand out from the crowd. So, pick your favorite, own it, and get ready to charm your way into their hearts! - The Quote Queen - Meme Matchmaker - Smooth Talkin' Siren - Charming Chameleon - Wordplay Wonder - Trivia Temptress - Mystery Muse - Dancefloor Darling - Karaoke Konfidence - Underdog Enchantress - Open Book Beauty - The Lady Luck - The Compliment Connoisseur - The Pickup Pro - The Wingwoman Whisperer - The Nostalgia Navigator - The Punny Princess - The Sherlock Holmes of Hearts - The Social Butterfly - The Conversation Catalyst - The Icebreaker Extraordinaire - The Daydream Director - The Adventuress - The Storyteller - The Quirky Queen - The Confidence Coach - The Optimistic Oracle - The Laughter Liberator More Giggles: Funny Names for Fat People

Funny Rizz Names for Friends

- Shenanigan Shepherd - The GIF Guru - Trivia Titan (Duo) - Hype Alchemist - Conspiracy Connoisseur - Mastermind of Mischief - Snack Sultan/Sultana - Dance Floor Destroyer - Punny Professor - Movie Marathon Maestro - The Quote Queen/King - Social Butterfly (Extroverted Edition) - Nostalgia Navigator - The Master of Ceremonies - Emoji Enthusiast - Impromptu Impersonator - The Accidental Agitator - Champion of Challenges - Naptime Negotiator - Soundtrack Selector - The Movie Buff (Walking Spoiler Alert) - Board Game Blitz - Wingman/Wingwoman Whisperer - The "I Got You" Guy/Gal - Philosopher of Fun - Champion of Compliments - Mastermind of Midnight Munchies - The Human Wikipedia - Meme Matchmaker

Fresh Rizz Names - Captivate in 2024

- Metaverse Matchmaker - NFT Negotiator - AI Assistant (Flirtatious) - Sustainable Seducer - Climate-Conscious Casanova - Crypto Crusher - ASMR Artisan - FinTok Financier - Global Grub Guru - Hobby Hoarder - Hyperlocal Historian - Zero-Waste Warrior - Upcycled Icon - Plant-Powered Pal - Minimalist Maestro - Digital Detoxifier - Social Media Minimalist - News Naysayer (Lighthearted) - Quiet Quitting King/Queen - Self-Care Specialist - Productivity Pro - Language Learner - Travel Trailblazer - Foodie Forager - Skill Swapper - Community Cultivator - Meme Mastermind (2024) - Gen Z Whisperer - IRL Influencer - Wellness Wanderer - Crypto Connoisseur More Giggles: 200+ Funny Names For Redheads

Funny Rizz Names for Crush

Tired of the same, old nicknames for your crush? Spice things up with a dash of humor and a sprinkle of creativity! This listicle curates 30 unique and chuckle-worthy "rizz names" guaranteed to leave a lasting impression. From puns so cheesy they're gouda to pop culture references that'll make their heart skip a beat, these names are the perfect conversation starters and a playful way to show your interest. So, what are you waiting for? Unleash your inner flirt and get ready to make your crush smile! - Smooth McGroove - Cupid's Caffeinated Arrow - Million Dollar Matchmaker (But Cheaper) - One Who Stole My Heart (and Maybe My Socks) - Walking Emoji - Subject of My Daydreams (Except the Weird Ones) - My Personal Comedian (Because Apparently I'm Hilarious) - Missing Piece to My Puzzle (Shaped Like a Heart) - One I Text at 2 AM (But Regret in the Morning) - Future Lobster (Just Minus the Butter) - Personal Soundtrack (Because Everything Reminds Me of Them) - The One Who Makes Me Blush (More Than Should Be Socially Acceptable) - My Muse (Except I Can't Write Poetry) - The Peanut Butter to My Jelly - The Fry to My Ketchup - My Forever Person (But Let's Not Get Crazy) - The Reason I'm Late (Sorry, Not Sorry) - My Distraction During Lectures (Shh!) - Personal Superhero (Without the Cape) - The One I Doodle Hearts Around (In My Notebook, Not on Walls) - My Spotify Playlist Curator (Because My Taste is Questionable) - The Sunshine on a Cloudy Day - The Upside to Mondays - My Weekend Adventure Buddy (Except We Never Leave the House) - My Partner-in-Crime (For Innocent Pranks, Of Course) - The One I Practice My Smooth Moves On (Even Though I Have None) - The Butterfly-Giver (Because They Make My Stomach Do Somersaults) - My Future Co-Star (In the Rom-Com of Our Lives) - The Answer to All My Prayers (Okay, Maybe an Exaggeration) - Forever Snack (Because They're Always Delicious)

Tips for Using Funny Rizz Names Effectively

Confidence is key: Deliver your funny rizz name with confidence, even if it's a bit cheesy. Owning your humor makes it more likely to land well. Read the room: Gauge the situation and the other person's sense of humor before unleashing your comedic rizz name. Not everyone appreciates the same type of humor. Quality over quantity: One well-crafted funny rizz name is better than a barrage of jokes. Focus on making it memorable and relevant to the conversation. Be prepared to follow up: A funny rizz name is just the opening line. Be ready to engage in a conversation and build upon the humor you've created. Know your limits: Avoid offensive or insensitive jokes, even if you think they're funny. When in doubt, err on the side of caution and choose something more lighthearted. Embrace the cringe: Sometimes, a little bit of cringe humor can be endearing. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself if your joke falls flat. Be genuine: The best rizz names, funny or not, come from a genuine place. Let your personality shine through, and the humor will follow naturally. Make sure you check out our main page findfunnynames for more hilarious content. Read the full article

[godisbestfriend4evaeva]

Gary White dreamweaver Miss A Only you Twice I can’t stop me, cheer up, dance the night away, scientist, likey Mareux The Perfect Girl N-dubz wouldn’t you Tegan & Sara bodywork Justin Beiber peaches Sting englishman in new york, shape of my heart System of a down (old school hollywood, radio, lonely day, aerials)  Utada Hikaru (Tippy toes Apple & cinnamon Poppin) Wait and see First love About you Me muero Can you keep a secret Travelling Automatic I II Letters Be my last Animato On and on Sakura drops Deep river (Hotel lobby) One last kiss Simple and clean Workout Nichiyou no asa Hope Parlow Sick inside Inu yasha Shinjitsu no uta Crystal Kay Kirakuni Dumb ditty dumb Namie Amuro Crystal Castles Kept Grimes California Halifax Genesis Angel Haze Majid Jordan Something about you Shades of blue Her [place like this] Oritse Femi Omolope Styl-plus Olufunmi Dbanj Mr endowed

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Mo gbono feli feli Oliver twist Wizkid Holla at your boy Don’t dull Tease me Die Aantword [Banana brain] Rich bitch Enter the ninja Future baby Babaji? [Baby’s on fire Dis is why I’m hot Fok julle naaiers Alien Cookie thumper] In This Moment Adrenalize Oh Lord In the air tonight New Year’s Day Joker Angel eyes Gangsta Insane Clown Posse Chop chop slide Mr C the Slide Man Cha-cha slide Kali Uchis telepatia Tei Shi Bassically See me FKA Twigs Wet wipez Tw-ache Tw-ache (2 of 4) [X inc. Glass & patron Video girl Weak spot Water me Papi pacify Good to love Hours] Clean Bandit Mozart’s house [telephone banking] A + E Dust clears [Extraordinary Come over] Symphony Zara Larsson Lush life Aint my fault Wow Øfdream - Red Voids EMIKA Flashbacks (Gnothi Seauton remix) VSN7 x ∆XIUS LIИK Nimb, AoA good luck, like a cat; Girls' Generation=SNSD hoot, run devil run, genie, twinkle

Alan Walker Sing Me To Sleep (dǝǝls remix) SIDEWALKS AND SKELETONS ENTITY Kyddiekafka Obsessions Memoryrave WAVES Monomorte Erutufon Nine Inch Nails A Warm Place Professor Green Game over Remedy Jungle Good to me Maverick Sabre I need Tinie Tempah Pass out Written in the stars Labrinth Earthquake Beneath your beautiful Jessi J Do it like a dude Who’s laughing now Pricetag Birthday Massacre Looking glass Goodnight (blue) Happy birthday He says Red dress Beyond I think we’re alone now Precious hearts Video kid Stars and satellites Sleepwalking One promise RONE Bye bye McAdam Lemniscata Show me love Chivurn Faith Mysterial Going under Blackbriars Eternity Indila Danse derniere Elyose redemption Child of Aphrodite Aegean sea Lily Allen (It's not fair Smile The fear) Stromae cheese papoutai je cours bienvenue chez moi tous les memes carmen ave cesarea ta fete dodo rail de musique alors'un danse formidable Pixie Lott all about tonight Devlin+Professor Green+Example game over Eiselfunk pong Red Queen Insidious Dita V Redrum Lana Del Rey (Doin' time Venice bitch Chemtrails over the country club Kill kill Blue jeans Video game High by the beach Burning desire West coast Carmen National anthem Dark paradise I want you boy put me in a movie) Black beauty (perfect blue) Mr Hudson White lies Forever young Supernova Evanescence Lithium Bring me to life Do what you want Sweet sacrifice Everybody's fool P!NK God is a DJ Yoko kanno Rise origa Inner universe Santigold who be loving me Shiv-R Devil's night Alpha omega The third realm Kiss of the scorpion Forever Diabolic crush Behold the dreamers Grimes California Oblivion Genesis World princess Violence 4AEM We appreciate power Butterfly Kill vs maim Violence Scream Belly of the beat IDORU Delete forever Girls aloud Sound of the underground Love machine I think we’re alone now Hana So & so Creatura Chimera Men without hats safety dance Pussycat dolls Beep Buttons When I

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grow up Wait a minute Spice girls Viva forever Be my lover Sugababes Stronger Too lost in you Round round Tokio hotel Monsoon (2020 version) Hilary Duff With love Stranger Coming clean Exid DDD Elliphant Spoon me One more Only getting younger Iggy Azalea Black widow Work Team Bounce DVRST Close eyes Bring me the horizon Can you feel my heart Alexandra Stan Mr saxobeat Ecoute moi Dua lipa New rules We're good Levitating Janelle Monae Tightrope Q.U.E.E.N. Yoga Jidenna Little bit more Lenny Kravitz Fly away M-Flo Come again Toopoor Crazy girls Dorian Electra f the world Destiny's child lose my breath soldier survivor say my name nasty girl

Avril Lavigne Perfume Doja Cat Rico Nasty(Tia Tamera) Kerli Rosalia(Bizconchito) CL(lifted) Shania Twain Sza Lil Mix Lalisa Pixie Lott Paloma Faith Asa Kelly Rowland Rita Ora Massari(Real love Be easy) Ayumi Hamasaki {Musici, cii} Kelis(Acapella Bounce Trick me) BoA Bonnie Pink(a perfect sky) Azealia Banks [212; Anna Wintour; Atlantis; count contessa; no problems; heavy metal & reflective; running] Tokyo Cirls Style Kero Kero Bonito Diana Ross(I love to love you) SNSD(Bring the boys out Papparazzi Gee) Sade Jordan Sparks Sevyn streeter(it won’t stop) May7ven (Hands up Ten ten) loan Paul (She doesn’t mind Got 2 love ya) Tiwa Savage love me X3 kele kele love Airis without you Nicki Minaj Zendaya replay Alexis Jordan Paolo Nutini The Noisettes Ludovico Technique Beyonce Rihanna Prima J (rockstar corazon) A touch of class (around the world {la la la}) Bassnectar (the future) Skillet (comatose monster not gonna die tonight) 2NE1 3 days grace Skrillex Chaos Chaos (Do You Feel It?) Benny benassi (cinema), Kehlani (LMK, contact, a message, rewind), KAYTRANADA (10%) Crystal Waters (Gypsy Woman (She's Homeless)) FLO (Summertime), Florida Georgia Line (Cruise, meant to be) KILO KISH (AMERICAN GURL, ELEGANCE, NAVY, Locket, ) KAROL G (Provenza)

Nagada sang dhol, Ke$ha we R who we R, Britney Spears break the ice, Kate Nash foundations, Wretch 32 don’t go, Paolo Nutini last request, The Kooks (she moves in her own way, Naive), Chase & Status end credits, ± △Xi∪s ¬iИк - M.I.A. DBT (Remix) ±, ± Damn Whøre - Insomnia ±, ± SUICIDEWΛVЕ - IN Your ΣYΣS ±, PVTY KERRY Ohé, Mike Posner - Cooler Than Me, Shawn Desman (electric, night like this), alt-J (∆) Breezeblocks, ± BLVCK CEILING - Grins ±, Sohodolls Bang bang bang bang, 4MINUTE hot issue, TWICE (CHEER UP, likey, knock knock, signal, Dance The Night Away), Demi Lovato, Joe Jonas this is me, Troy - Bet On It (From "High School Musical 2"), Gwen Stefani rich girl, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbwdJl8TGeY&list=RDCC5ca6Hsb2Q&index=10, GIGI D'AGOSTINO - L'AMOUR TOUJOURS, Turtles - Happy Together, Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry Be Happy, The Monkees - I'm a Believer (2006 Remaster), Icon For Hire - Make A Move,

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Kalafina (Magia, Lacrimosa, Sprinter), Stereopony - Hitohira No Hanabira, LiSA - Crossing Field, YOASOBI「アイドル」 Official Music Video, BABYMETAL - メギツネ - MEGITSUNE, Tove-lo (talking body {clean version}, stay high), Flume - Never Be Like You feat. Kai, Disclosure - Magnets ft. Lorde, Amaarae, Kali Uchis - SAD GIRLZ LUV MONEY (Remix) ft. Moliy, Icon For Hire - Get Well, Meg Myers - Desire {clean version}, Five Nights at Freddy's 2 Song - The Living Tombstone (FNAF2) , Coco Jones (Caliber, peppermint)

+kids DisneyXD Imbrandonfarris+comedy +gaming Caylus+c +beauty Azzyland+c Rclbeauty101 +Ethnic KieKie TV

Aloma TV

Mark Angel TV

SCENEONE TV

URBAN MOVIES

[sunlitscribe]

First Lines Meme

thank you for the tags !! @wordspin-shares @reykenobis

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories. (If you have less than 20, just list them all!) See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Tag some people to play the next round!

She couldn’t speak for the rest of the universe, but she tended to avoid things. — og: the supernova trilogy

Thick smoke trailed up from a dying campfire, disappearing into a beautiful blue sky. — witcher oc fic: chaos becomes us (destiny favors us)

Handfuls of sunlight peeked through the window of the brightly painted wheelhouse. — game of thrones au fic: to all those who dared to hope

Remy looked over at the time, her Mystery Machine alarm clock that told her that it was only 1:25 AM, and her body told her that it was too early to even think about twitching. — teen wolf oc fic: something strange in the neighborhood

People tend to forget that to be reborn, you first have to die. — vampire diaries oc fic: supernova

Today would be the day that everything, including herself, would change. — doctor who oc fic: the abyss

Red. Red was now the color of the grass beneath her boots, the bright color stained her hands, and even her kefta — something that had once brought pride was now quickly becoming an eyesore. — shadow and bone oc fic: let me live (let me die)

There was a stifling quiet as soon as the heavy wooden doors shut behind her. — harry potter oc fic: the masquerade

Spencer learned very early on in life that their parents weren't in love with each other. — the 100 oc fic: still breathing?

Big brown eyes peered out from a car window as trees passed by, chubby fingers pressed against the fogged up window, drawing three stick figures, two big and one little like her, with a square shaped home right next to them. — harry potter oc fic: war wounds

There was something about being out at night that felt different. — mcu oc fic: my tears ricochet

She learns of Sir Reginald Hargreeves’ death like any other person, on the breaking news, still jet lagged from her eight-hour flight back home and already on her fourth espresso despite the time of night. — the umbrella academy oc fic: could you leave the light on?

Dreams weren’t supposed to feel this real. — mcu oc fic: no pain no gain

She breathed in and out harshly, sweat coating her brow as she jogged her way down a crowded street. — jatp oc fic: ethereal harmony

Her hands were cold, and her knees and wrists hurt like hell. — dragon age oc fic: unnamed 

Three birds flew above the sleepy neighborhood, their song loud and clear as they chased each other and disappeared into dark skies. — jatp oc fic: invisible strings

She cleaned the last glass until the remnants of the milkshake was gone and it shined under the bright lighting. — teen wolf oc fic: momento mori

She let out a deep exhale as she finished the last of her granola bar off before shoving its empty wrapping inside her pocket. — arrow oc fic: broken promises

i have more but i deleted it for ur safety bc it’s embarrassing 💖💖

my pattern: i obviously like introducing either the main character first through either their surroundings or inner monologue

my favorite: Handfuls of sunlight peeked through the window of the brightly painted wheelhouse. i will always be proud of the pretty image i painted with this opening

i’m tagging: @hughstheforcelou @reggiemantleholdmyhand-tle @darknightfrombeyond @witchofinterest @darth-caillic and anyone else who wants to join in 💖

[the-void-i-scream-into]

White Tulips - a JunJin fanfic 3/3

Full Story: Part 1, Part 2

Hey my beautiful readers. Thank you so much for sticking around till now. I was honestly so terrified of posting this fanfic because I had never done that before but everyone’s response has been so kind to me. Thank you.

This is the final part. I hope you all enjoyed the story. As always, this chapter is dedicated to the Shooters GC who are the best people on Tumblr.

Quick Info: The songs used in this chapter are You Were Beautiful by Day6. Park Yoona who plays Sujin said in an interview that she liked Day6, specifically this song. Haru by Royal Pirates is a personal favorite of mine. It has the same theme as True Beauty that in real love, things like looks don’t matter. The final song that Seojun sings to Sujin is Half Moon by Dean. Hwang In Yeop who plays Seojun stated that he liked this song in an interview.

Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun

Romantic Trope: Haters to friends to lovers

Word Count: 16.2k [this one is LONG]

Rating: T

PART 3

i.

“What have I done?” Sujin pulled at her hair in frustration.

The deal she had made with Han Seojun had been the on account of the many shots of soju she had taken. It was only when she had sobered up the next morning that she realized, with horror, just what exactly she had promised.

It was a bad idea. On paper it sounded plausible; two people suffering from the same pain could empathize with each other. But in reality, going through a heartbreak meant that you needed someone to support you, not the other way around. Trying to support someone whilst being in pain yourself was hard. And in this particular case, it would be impossible. Mainly because the people Kang Sujin and Han Seojun liked were with each other.  

Sujin could see her and Han Seojun’s fledgling friendship going up in flames before it had even had a chance to fly. She would always want to talk about Lee Suho and he would resent that since Suho was the one dating Jukyung. Seojun would want to talk about Jukyung and Sujin would find that annoying for the same reason.

It was a recipe for disaster.

“Yah, gimme your number.” Sujin had demanded last night, handing Han Seojun her phone after he had agreed to her stupid proposal. Seojun had obediently entered his number at her behest. She programmed her number in his phone as well.

“There. Now we can text each other if we ever need to talk.”

“Ya, why am I Gangster in your phone?” Seojun had protested when he had saw her type it out.

Sujin had chuckled, drunk on soju. “Because you’re a gangster, you gangster.”

“Is that so?” Seojun proceeded to type away furiously into his phone. He held it up for Sujin to see.

“Princess? Are we kindergarteners?” Sujin had frowned.

Seojun stuck his tongue out. “That’s what you get for naming me Gangster.”

Sujin had retaliated, editing his contact. “Here!” She held up her phone.

“Wha-What? Twerp?”

Sujin blanked on the argument that had proceeded after this but she knew they did argue. To the point that the owner of the tent bar kicked them out. 

Now Sujin was stuck with the contact named as Twerp on her phone and she had no idea what to do with it. Should she text him? Should she delete it? Should she just pretend last night didn’t happen?

She knew she should choose the third option. Or even the second. But her hand itched to send Seojun a text and see if he really was up for hanging out.

All day long Sujin kept checking her phone, looking for any new messages or missed calls she may have received. All she got were some memes from Suah and everyone else’s responses to those messages on their group chat. Han Seojun had also responded with a laughing emoji. Which meant he wasn’t too body or occupied to text Sujin.

Then why wasn’t he texting her?

Why do I care?

Sujin knew why. It was because she had no body else to talk to about what was bothering her. Normally, she would have called Jukyung but this time, she couldn’t. Jukyung’s giant engagement ring kept flashing in her mind over and over. It even plagued her dreams last night.

Sujin needed to occupy herself. Her current jobless situation wasn’t helping things either. She quickly fired a text to Suah to see if she was free to hang.

Sorry Kang Su! Me and Taehoon are going to visit his parents. Suah had replied.

Sujin looked at her list of contacts. There was no one else but Han Seojun who she could ask. Reluctantly, she texted him.

I’m going to the batting cages. Wanna join me?

Sujin pressed send before she could stop herself and was immediately filled with deep regret she saw the “Seen” check appear.

One minute, two minute, fifteen minutes passed. He didn’t reply.

“Guess he wasn’t interested.” Sujin lamented. It would have been nice to have someone to hang with, but given the obvious rejection, she had to make do with just lonesome herself.

Kang Sujin wasn’t exactly a prodigy at sports, but she was considerably better than most. Batting happened to be one of her strong suits.

Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!

She hit each ball with graceful ease. Her brows were furrowed in focus. Her breathing controlled and steady. Sujin had learned long ago that sports aided in dealing with her rage and frustrations. It was a way to release all of her worries in a healthy manner and channel inner peace.

Thwack! Thwack!

She hit again and again, not caring about the score, just wanting to get the shot.

“Wow, I’m impressed.”

“Huh?” Sujin carelessly turned and her surprise at finding Han Seojun standing in the adjacent batting area was only thwarted by the ball hitting her in the torso. She yelped in pain.

“Oh, gwenchana?” Seojun asked in concern.

“Aish.” Sujin held her side and moved out of the way of the pitching machine. She gave Seojun a scathing look. “What are you doing here?”

“You asked to meet here didn’t you?”

“People normally respond to invitations to confirm they’re coming.” Sujin checked herself for injuries before resuming her batting position.

Seojun was quiet. “I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to meet you.”

Thwack! Sujin hit a ball. “Oh, yeah? What made you change your mind?”

Seojun picked up his bat, not responding. The pitching machine on his lane whirred to life. He hit his ball. Thwack! “Did you see the video Jukyung posted?”

“Ah-nee.” Sujin replied. Thwack!

“She posted a bridal makeup tutorial.”

Sujin missed the next ball. And the one after that. Seojun could feel her gaze on his back but didn’t dare turn. From his posture Sujin could sense hostility. Which was fine, she hadn’t invited him here to talk. She invited him here to vent. She resumed her batting.

“I scored higher than you.” Sujin informed with a grin once they were done.

“Good for you.” Han Seojun said, unimpressed.

He still seemed on edge. Sujin had tried to engage him during their small breaks between the game but all he had given her were clipped answers.

“Did you watch the entire video?”

“Yes.”

“How did it feel?”

“How do you think I felt?”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Just hit the ball.”

Sujin didn’t know how Seojun was when they had parted, but she herself felt significantly better. She went home with a peaceful mind and even discovered that she had gotten a call from a prospective employer. They asked if she could come in for an interview the following week. Perhaps things would be getting better from now on.

Or perhaps not.

The interview had gone horribly wrong, especially after the interviewer realized who she was. Sujin had expected a polite rejection but instead the interviewer had decided that she deserved a lecture on bullying from him.

“You know. I was bullied too as a kid.” The interviewer had said.

The experience had left her shaken. Was this going to be her life from now on? Would she just be kicked out of society just like that, over a badly reported gossip article?

Sujin’s hands ached to be washed but she refused to even think about it. She needed an outlet and she knew exactly what she wanted. It was then that she got a text from Han Seojun.

Let’s meet.

Sujin told him where to show up.

“You know jujitsu?” Seojun was surprised when she had invited him for a match.

“Don’t you?” Sujin said, clad in her white Gi. She had been warming up when Seojun had arrived clad in jeans and a hoodie. He had a cap on underneath the hood.

“I don’t fight with girls.”

“And what if a girl fights with you?”

Seojun chuckled incredulously.

“If you can laugh like that then you can show me what you’ve got, no? Or are you afraid you’ll lose like you lost in the batting cages.”

“That wasn’t a competition.”

Sujin smirked, “Sure it wasn’t.”

Seojun rolled his eyes and went to change out of his clothes.

Smack! Down Han Seojun went. He had gone easy on Kang Sujin for the first round because she was a girl. But she had immediately disarmed him and thrown him over her shoulder. Grinning like a wolf, she immediately took the fighting position again, leaving Han Seojun to recover on the floor.

“First one doesn’t count!” He argued.

“What’s wrong, Han Seojun? Can’t even fight against a girl?”

Seojun got up, “Alright. I won’t be going easy on you anymore.”

“Fine by me.”

Sujin attacked first, Seojun quickly blocked her, wrapped his arms around her waist and tried to push her down. She wrapped her legs around him and swiveled him around so that he fell. Then she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling at his arm.

“You fight without strategy.” Sujin said through clenched teeth as she tried to keep him down. Seojun managed to turn her entire body over, releasing himself.

“Fighting is about instinct. Not strategies.” Seojun went for the attack this time. Sujin blocked him but he easily maneuvered around her, throwing her down and pinning her in place with all his strength. It was an awkward position to be in, but he didn’t care. He would not let her win.

“Anything without a strategy is doomed to fail.” She grabbed his collar and adjusted her leg to flip them over. Now she was keeping him down.

“Nope. Instincts always win.” He weaseled out of her grip and they parted.

Sujin took fighting position again. She easily jabbed and smacked him around while Seojun blocked haphazardly. She was precise and focused, knowing exactly where to hit and how.

In her mind, she wasn’t fighting with Han Seojun. She was fighting with her interviewer. She jabbed and blocked and kicked the man who had sat and judged her without even hearing her side of the story. It was cathartic to let this all out. And if Han Seojun got hurt in the way, then she didn’t mind.

Sujin and Seojun fought for a long time, both sweating and panting with exhaustion but neither relenting.

“I’m still winning Han Seojun.” Sujin said with labored breath.

“We’re not done yet.”

Smack! Down Han Seojun went. Again, and again, and again.

“Had enough?” Sujin asked as they parted.

“Never.”

Seojun attacked. Sujin easily blocked it, kicking him in the chest. The mat was slick with their sweat. Sujin didn’t see Seojun slip and fall to his knees. She only spun around to deliver a roundhouse kick to his torso. But the kick would have hit him in the face. Except, except Han Seojun caught her ankle just in time. The force of it nearly knocked him down.

“I can’t let you hit my face.” He said with a half smirk.

“Wae?” She asked with a flick of her brow.

“It’s a precious commodity.”

He pulled Sujin by her ankle, bringing her leg to his side. She fell on him, using his shoulders to brace herself. Their noses were almost touching. He cupped her calf and grabbed her sleeve to hold her in place.

It was too close. Sujin’s mind went blank. And that was the opening Seojun needed to throw her down.

“I won that round.” He grinned, standing up.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m still ahead.” Sujin’s face still felt hot. She got up and straightened her Gi. “I think that’s enough for today.”

Seojun nodded. “You hungry?” He asked. After the workout she had just had, she was ravenous.

They went to a nearby convenience store where they got ramen. Seojun watched in surprise as Sujin hungrily chowed down.

“What?” Sujin asked.

“You are a very unexpected girl, Kang Sujin.” Seojun took off his cap and ran his hand through his hair.

Sujin smiled and stirred her ramen. “So, what happened this time?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why’d you ask to see me today? Did Jukyung post another video?”

Seojun hesitated. “Last time… I was in a bad mood. But you seemed like you wanted to talk.”

Sujin gave a slow smile. “What? You felt guilty?”

“Yes.” Seojun said unabashedly.

“You know we don’t have to talk. Maybe we can just keep each other company.”

“Sure. That seems fine.” Seojun looked at her critically. “But something was bothering you today.”

Sujin bit her cheek. “I had an interview today.”

“Didn’t go well.” It wasn’t a question.

Sujin told him, about how her interviewer treated her. About how she feared she may never get a job again.

“Ah-nee, how can people be so ridiculous? You already settled the matter didn’t you? Then what’s everybody’s problem?” Seojun’s outburst warmed Sujin’s heart. It felt good to talk and share. It made Sujin feel lighter. She wondered if she could return the favor.

“You didn’t tell me what you thought of Jukyung’s video.”

Seojun’s face fell. “Ah. That.” He leaned back and sighed. “Did you see it?”

“Yeah.”

Seojun’s face was a strange combination of pain and admiration. “She looked beautiful, didn’t she?”

Sujin’s voice was small. “Yeah, she did.” And Suho probably thought so too.

“They’ve been together for so long. Marriage was inevitable. But now that it’s happening… I don’t know. I just feel… honestly I don’t even know what I feel anymore.”

“I know what you mean. I can’t imagine how I’m going to attend the wedding.”

“My mom’s inviting the two over for dinner to celebrate. Imagine having to sit through that.”

“Yikes. Does your mom know how you feel?”

“Of course, she does. But Lee Suho is my best friend and she’s happy for him.”

“Well… I’m always here,” Sujin held up her phone, “just a text away. If you need me.”

“What I need right now is more food.” Seojun got up.

“Aren’t idols supposed to diet?”

“Not when they’ve had their ass kicked twelve times. You want anything?”

“Nah. I’m full.”

While Han Seojun went inside, Sujin checked her phone for any messages and emails. She had applied to a dozen non-profit companies. None of them, except the interview today, had gotten back.

“Omo. Isn’t that, that girl?” Someone said loudly.

“Yah! Shhh!”

Sujin looked up to some mean looking high schoolers gawking at her. There were three of them but the one standing in the front was clearly the leader. The girls to her side was trying to keep her quiet but unsuccessfully.

“It is! Look. Its that woman, Kang Sujin! Wah! I never thought I’d meet someone I read about online in real life.” The leader girl came forward, crossing her arms.

Sujin stood up to her full height. The girl was shorter than her, but she was undeterred. Sujin half admired her courage.

“Can I help you?” Sujin asked in a measured tone.

The leader girl stared Sujin down. “Check out her audacity. Should someone who’s hated by everyone be talking like that?” The girl spoke in banmal.

“I don’t know you. And you don’t know me. So why don’t you leave?” Sujin suggested. These kids were younger than her, although by not much. They looked like seniors who might have been held back a year or two.

“Why should I leave? You leave.”

“I was here first.”

“This is my usual place. My boyfriend’s coming here to meet me.” The girl said self-assuredly.

“Then let him come. There’s enough space for the both of us.”

“I don’t think so.” The girl got right in her face. “You’re the girl who seduced our Seojun Oppa, aren’t you? Don’t you know that you almost ruined his career by doing that?”

Sujin laughed at the thought of Han Seojun being someone’s Oppa. He always seemed so childish to her.

“Oh, you think its funny to ruin someone’s career?”

Sujin tried to explain calmly, “No, no. I wasn’t—"

The girl pushed her, “Women like you are everything that’s wrong with the world!”

The old Kang Sujin would have kicked this rude girl’s ass by this point. But Sujin was trying to be a new Kang Sujin, one that didn’t hate easily. Sujin sighed. “Kid, just leave me alone.”

The girl poked her finger in Sujin’s shoulder. “And what if I don’t?”

Sujin raised a hand and the girl flinched. But Sujin only stroked her head. “Youngster, you shouldn’t be so rude to people.”

“Like you were to Lim Jukyung?” Sujin’s face hardened as the girl taunted, “What? You guys are friends now? Who would buy that bullshit? People are you are such trash. You go around flaunting your beauty, seducing our idols. Trash like you doesn’t belong here.”

“Yah, stop it!” The girl’s friends warned from behind.

“Chaeri, you’ll get into trouble.”

Chaeri didn’t listen. “Leave! I don’t want people like you here.” She told Sujin.

It was one thing to be nice. It was quite another to be weak. And Kang Sujin was anything but weak. “You want me to leave?” Sujin said. “Then make me.” Sujin stood her ground, glaring at the girl.

Chaeri smiled. “Okay.” She reached over to the half finished can of soda that Han Seojun had left on the table and poured it over Sujin.

Sujin closed her eyes to calm herself. Don’t engage Kang Sujin.

“Here you go, b****.”

Alright, screw it.

Sujin’s eyes popped open enraged. “What did you just call me? B****?” She grabbed Chaeri’s hair and pulled.

Chaeri screamed, “Yah! What are you doing?”

“I was going easy on you since you’re a teenager. But now I see you need to be taught a lesson.” Sujin kept her grip firmly on the Chaeri hair as the girl struggled to break free. “Listen carefully. Just because someone has allegedly done something wrong doesn’t mean you get to take justice in your hands. If you see something wrong, you speak up about it. If it’s happening in front of you, you stop it. But you don’t go around harassing someone without even understanding the full story, arachi? If I’m a bully, then go tell the police and have them investigate. Calling me names and bothering me only makes you another bully, not an avenger.”

Sujin let go. Chaeri ran and cowered by her friends who looked at Sujin in fear.

“Now get out of my sight. And don’t let me see you girls again.”

The girls ran away as Sujin watched. She didn’t enjoy what had just happened. It left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Was I too harsh?

“Remind me never to piss you off again.” Han Seojun came to stand by her.

“Mwo-ya, were you watching? How long were you here.”

“I came out when I saw you grabbing that girl’s hair.”

Sujin frowned in worry. “I wasn’t—”

“I know.” Seojun came forward, eyeing her head. “I heard the speech. Did they do this?” He pointed to her wet hair.

“Ugh. Yeah.” Sujin groaned.

“Let’s go inside. You can clean up.”

Sujin used the convenience store bathroom to wash out the soda from her hair. She dried off with some paper towels but her head looked like a mess when she was done. She tried to smoothen it down but then it stuck to her face weirdly.

In the store, Han Seojun was signing an autograph for the store clerk. “Ya, gimme that.” Sujin came up behind him and took his cap off from him, putting it on herself. Han Seojun didn’t bat an eye lash.

“Here you go.” He told the clerk.

“Thank you. My girlfriend will really appreciate it.” The clerk beamed.

The convenience store entrance rang as they exited.

“You can keep that cap.” Seojun told Sujin.

“Ah really?”

“Yah! Are you the one who harassed my girlfriend?”

Seojun and Sujin turned. The high schooler, Chaeri, was standing there with four hulking boys, all looking like miscreants with their mean faces and unkempt clothing. They seemed older than high school kids, more like college students. The girl’s friends were notably missing. It was just her and the four thugs.

“Han Seojun,” Sujin whispered, “you leave.”

“No.” He said casually, yet firmly.

“You could get into another scandal, you idiot!” Sujin hissed.

“No.”

Sujin clenched her jaw. “Listen to me, you dolt. You’ll—”

“Omo! Is that Han Seojun?” Chaeri was staring, eyes wide in wonder. “It is! Oh my God, Oppa! Is that you? Why are you here?” Chaeri’s eyes passed between Seojun and Sujin. “Oppa, are you actually dating this girl?” She asked, sounding betrayed.

“You know this guy?” Chaeri’s boyfriend asked.

“He’s Han Seojun. He’s an idol.”

“He’s not with me.” Sujin declared as she walked up to the group, putting distance between her and Seojun. “We just coincidentally met inside.” She stood resolutely with her shoulders squared, not showing an ounce of fear.

Seojun walked up and stood Sujin. “I am with her. So what? You got a problem?” He asked Chaeri.

Sujin’s face contorted in exasperation. Han Seojun, you idiot!

The boyfriend looked amused at the situation. “Aaah. I see now. You think that just because your boyfriend is a big shot idol that you can do whatever you want?”

“That’s not what happened. Your girlfriend here harassed me first.” Sujin explained coolly.

“Oppa, she’s lying.” The girl said. “I was just walking by and she started pulling my hair.” 

Sujin scoffed. “What an obvious lie. You gonna believe that?”

“I don’t see why I have to believe you.” The boyfriend replied.

“Why would I attack her without any reason?”

“Oppa, she did it because I was a fan of Han Seojun.” Chaeri looked at Seojun, “Aren’t you going to defend your fans?”

Seojun tilted his head. “My fans don’t go around harassing my friends.”

Chaeri’s mouth fell open. “What?”

“Also, no real fan would damage their idol’s reputation but causing a scene like this. Don’t you know it reflects badly on me when say I have toxic fans?”

Chaeri’s face contorted in anger. Sujin gulped, “Han Seojun, shut up.”

“Oppa, you’re going to just let these people treat me this way?” Chaeri pulled at her boyfriend’s arm.

The boyfriend leaned down to Sujin, “Listen here ahjumma, you hurt my girlfriend. That action is going to come with consequences.”

Seojun grabbed the boy’s collar, pushing him away from Sujin. “You can’t call yourself a man if you threaten women like this.”

The boyfriend laughed, before he went in for the punch. Seojun dodged it and kicked the guy in the chest, sending him backwards. Chaeri squealed and jumped to the side. The other three thugs went for Seojun and Sujin.

Sujin brought one of them down with a spin kick in the face. The other two boys were on Seojun. Sujin kicked one of them away and dragged him further by his hair.

It was difficult for Sujin and Seojun to keep up. The thugs, while young, were still huge and more in number. Sujin took her time to size up her opponents, hitting and dodging accordingly.  Seojun fought in his typical instinctive manner, taking many hits but also delivering his own. 

One of the boys had Seojun backed up in the corner and by this time the boyfriend had gotten back up. Seojun didn’t see the boyfriend, but Sujin did. The boyfriend picked up a stick lying on the corner of the street by the garbage cans. Two thugs were on Seojun now, holding him back as the boyfriend raised the stick, aiming to swing it right in Seojun’s face.

In that moment, Sujin forgot all about fighting with strategy. All she could think of was saving Han Seojun. She ran into the boyfriend, taking him down with her entire body. She kicked him in the groin, causing so much pain that the boy’s face became red. Han Seojun, and the two thugs holding him back, were staring at her speechless.

“I won’t let you hit his face.” She told the boyfriend. Then, giving Seojun a sideways look she added, “It’s a hot commodity.”

Seojun took this opening to break free and kick the thugs away. Sujin swung the stick and hit one of them in the back. The last one standing decided to be smart and ran away.

Seojun and Sujin looked at each other, and the high schoolers lying on the ground, moaning in pain. They had won and it felt good. Seojun looked at something behind Sujin. She followed his line of sight and found Chaeri standing by the corner, recording everything on her phone.

Sujin walked up to her. “Give it while I’m being nice.”

“I’m recording this too you know.” Chaeri said insolently.

Sujin smiled. Then spun around to kick Chaeri, except she missed her face by an inch.

“Ah, how sad. I missed.”

Chaeri just stood, frozen in place. Seojun walked up, pulled the phone from her hand and smashed it to the ground.

“Am I going to hear about this online?” It was a rhetorical question. Said with such authority, in that deep angry baritone, that even Sujin felt intimidated.

Chaeri just shook her head.

“Good. Lets go, Kang Sujin.” Seojun led Sujin away by her arm.

“So, like I said. Remind me never to piss you off again.” Seojun repeated. Sujin chuckled. “Also…” Seojun rubbed the back of his head, “Thanks… for saving me back there.”

“Don’t mention it. After all, we have to protect his hot commodity.” Sujin teased. Instead of getting annoyed like she expected him to, Han Seojun smirked.

“You know I never said my face was a hot commodity. I only said it was a precious commodity.” Sujin stopped in her tracks as she realized he was right. But Seojun kept on walking smugly. “I guess you think I’m hot.” He called back to her.

“No way!” Sujin yelled as she ran after him. “No way!” ii.

Things had changed between Kang Sujin and Han Seojun. They were way past enmity now. In fact, Seojun couldn’t even remember the hate he used to have for her. They were also past the courteous co-existence they had sustained for a brief period where they acted polite and nice to one another which was more a sign of them being strangers than anything else.

Now Han Seojun and Kang Sujin really could say that they were friends. Hanging out together had become a weekly ritual. Almost always, it was prompted by something Jukyung or Suho did.

The night of Suho’s and Jukyung’s the engagement party, hosted by Suho’s father, they went to karaoke to sing their hearts out. As expected, Seojun was the better singer. But Sujin wasn’t exactly bad herself. Her song choices were about self-empowerment and having fun. Seojun chose soft, ballads that were clearly about Jukyung.

“One day, my songs will be on a karaoke machine too.” Seojun had wished as they had walked back home.

“And then I will sing it.” Sujin encouraged.

“And ruin it.”

Sujin punched him in the shoulder.

The time Suho and Jukyung announced their wedding on Jukyung’s channel, they went to an arcade. Of course, Sujin beat Seojun at every game.

“Ah-nee, how do you know how to play? All I ever saw you doing in school was study.”

“Just accept it, Han Seojun. I’m better than you.”

“At bragging maybe.”

The time Jukyung got drunk and went around hugging Han Seojun thinking he was Suho, they went for a drive on his bike.

Sujin had insisted that he teach her how to ride it.

“Aren’t you afraid?” Seojun remebered how terrified Jukyung had been when she first rode with him.

“Why would I be?” Sujin asked, confused.

She took to the bike quickly and soon was riding them both around the city without Seojun’s guidance.

“Not too bad, Kang Sujin.” Seojun was impressed. Sujin grinned triumphantly.

As per their agreement, the two looked out for each other when they were with the group, making sure their feelings weren’t too apparent. At the night of the engagement party, Sujin kept covering for Seojun when he didn’t participate in conversations as much as he usually did. She would answer for him or change the subject. On the same night, Seojun had been the one to sneak Sujin away when she was on the verge of breaking into tears when the couple was cutting the cake. No one had noticed the two heart broken friends that night. All eyes had been on Jukyung and Suho.

On the same night that Jukyung had gotten drunk, Han Seojun had been the one to distract Suah when she kept pushing Jukyung into dating a guy she knew from work. And on a separate occasion, when the group was out for dinner and had run into Suho’s father, Seojun had kept a firm hand on Sujin’s back when Lee Joheon spoke at length on how sad he was about her parents’ divorce.

As uncanny as it seemed, it was undeniable. Han Seojun and Kang Sujin were friends now. Oddly enough, no one seemed to have picked up on their closeness, despite the fact that they never hid it from anyone. Sujin mentioned that Seojun had taught her how to ride his bike but the statement went unnoticed for its inclusion of Han Seojun. All Suah and Jukyung cared about was how dangerous it was to drive bikes.

“Han Seojun! Stop being a bad influence on Sujin!” Jukyung had scolded.

“What did I do? She’s the one who wanted to learn. And she’s not so innocent either. Just ask her about how she beat me in jiujitsu.” Seojun had pointed a finger at her.

“You know Jiujitsu?” Suho had asked, ignoring the part about her beating Seojun.

“Yeah. We should spar sometime.”

And so things went on and Jukyung’s and Suho’s wedding date inched closer and closer. But Sujin felt nothing had really improved with her feelings about Suho.

“We should really get to the therapy part one of these days.” Sujin casually said over a cup of coffee. This time, they had opted for a quiet meeting in a café.

Seojun considered her request. “What should we talk about?”

They both drew a blank, neither able to come up with a good starting point. Their feelings were so complicated and tangled that neither knew were to start unraveling.

Sujin raised a hand, fingers spread out wide. “Five questions.” She said, and with each word she lowered a finger, “Who, What, When, Where and Why.” She said in English.

“What’s that?”

“Its how you gather basic information. You ask yourself these questions.” Sujin explained, translating in Korean, “Who is it? What is it? When was it? and Why was it?”

Seojun nodded. “Okay. You first.”

“Hmm… We can skip the Who since we already know who it is. So, what is it that I like about Lee Suho? Hmm…” Sujin had to think for a minute. 

The first thing that popped into her mind was her father. She and Suho both had troubled relationships with their fathers and at the time, Sujin had felt that Suho could understand her better because because of this. But she couldn’t tell Han Seojun that. Having a dysfunctional family made her feel like a freak. She didn’t need Han Seojun knowing about her private problems, even if they were friends. 

So instead of the truth, she said, “He was cool,”  

Seojun scoffed. “Kang Sujin were you that shallow?”

Sujin looked at him flatly. “It wasn’t just that! It was… well, he was always cold to everyone else. But he still treated me better.” Sujin looked at her hands, nervously playing with her thumbs. “I guess I liked how he was with me. And I liked that he wasn’t shallow like most boys are. ”

That answer seemed more acceptable to Seojun. “I don’t think I can distill my feelings to just a couple of traits. I like everything about Lim Jukyung. The way she smiles, the way she ties up her hair, how kind and caring she is with everyone… she just has this warmth about her that just… draws you in.”

“I know what you mean.” Sujin agreed. But there was a little part of her that resented Seojun’s compliments of Jukyung. Wasn’t she kind and caring too? Didn’t she have any warmth?

Probably not. Her father’s voice said. Sujin pushed it away.

“When did you first start liking Lee Suho?” Seojun asked.

Sujin thought for a minute. “I don’t know. I just know that when I noticed I liked him, it felt like I had always liked him.” She sat up straight. “What about you? When did you start liking Jukyung?”

After a pause he replied, “When I started to get to know her. I can’t say exactly when… But I noticed my heart would act weird after she started teasing me about my underwear--”

“Say what now? What underwear?” Sujin perked up. It was at this moment that Han Seojun knew, that he had messed up. He could feel himself get red in the face.

“It was nothing. What I meant was—”

“Nononono, no. Han Seojun, you’re not getting out of this one. Tell me. What underwear?”

Seojun crossed his arms, “I’m not saying a word.”

Their therapy session had ended there. Sujin tried again and again to get Seojun to reveal what the underwear incident was but he kept his silence. He would die before he ever told anyone about how Jukyung had seen him dancing around in his cheetah print underwear.

Han Seojun still experienced PTSD when he heard “Okey Dokey yo!” from anywhere.

iii.

Seojun didn’t know how the fight began. They had met up for dinner after Sujin got off from work. She had taken up various part time jobs to pay the bills. With her being busy throughout the day, dinner was the only time they could meet.

They had been talking about Suho and Jukyung. Seojun normally danced around the topic of what Sujin had done back in high school now that they were friends. But this time she had brought it up herself.

“Do you remember that picture I took of you?”

“Yeah.” Seojun still remembered how flatly she had said You look cool. He had almost admired her audacity back then, and he did so more now.

“I traded it to get the info on Jukyung.” She admitted quietly.

“Ah, even back then my face was such a hot commodity.” Seojun said smugly.

Sujin made a face at him.

They joked about the past, about how Han Seojun hadn’t changed since then, about how Sujin had changed so much. Then, as they walked towards Sujin’s apartment, they got into the serious stuff. About how Sujin just disappeared after the truth about her was revealed, about how Seojun was right that she had only destroyed herself, and no one else.

“I wish I hadn’t done all that. Looking back, I want to kick myself.” Sujin had said.

“You should have shared, about what you were going through. Suah and Jukyung would have understood. I mean, having your father treat you the way he did… it must have made everything harder to deal with. Looking back, I might have acted better too, even helped y--”

Seojun suddenly noticed that Sujin wasn’t with him. She had stopped in her tracks and was glaring at him but Seojun couldn’t understand why.

“W-what do you mean my father’s treatment?” Sujin asked icily, her face was unreadable.

“Well… didn’t he used to beat you and pressure you for—”

“Shut up! Just shut up, Han Seojun!” Sujin suddenly freaked out. And it scared Seojun.

“What’s wrong?” He asked with concern. He moved towards her, but she moved back.

She looked at him coldly. “Who the hell told you about this? Was it Suho? It was Suho, wasn’t it? No one else knows besides him.”

Seojun hesitated. “Actually... that time when I met your mom—”

Sujin blinked rapidly. “So you’re saying that you’ve known about this all this time?”

“Kang Sujin, calm down its not a—”

Sujin spoke through clenched teeth, “What’s not a big deal? The fact that my family is broken or the fact that my father was an abusive asshole? What exactly about it is not a big deal, Han Seojun?”

Seojun was thoroughly confused now. “Sujin-ah.” he called out to her but she kept moving back with every step he took towards her. She was shaking quite visibly.

“Did you have fun, thinking I was so tragic and damaged? Did you have fun pitying me all this time? Did you—” Sujin’s eyes went wide as if she hit a realization. “Ya Han Seojun… did you become friends with me because you pitied me?” She said the word with such acidity that Seojun flinched.

It would be a lie to say it hadn’t influenced his opinion of her. But it wasn’t the only reason they were friends. Surely Sujin had to understand that.

“Sujin-ah—”

“It’s true, isn’t it?” Sujin’s lip quivered. “All this time, you’ve only treated me decently because you thought I was some tragic case—”

“You know that’s not true.” Seojun protested but Sujin wasn’t listening.

“—and here I was thinking we were actually friends. Han Seojun, would you have even been nice to me if you hadn’t known?”

“Does that matter?” Seojun asked, frustrated, “We’re friends now, aren’t we?” 

That had been the wrong thing to say. Sujin’s eyes flamed as she suddenly switched. Gone was the shaking and the freaked out look. Sujin was now very calm and cold; calculating in her movements. She gave a sarcastic smile. “Ya Han Seojun. Do you know? I pity you too.”

“What?”

“Pathetically liking someone for so long, whining like a boy over everything, acting all childish, you think that makes you attractive?”

“Ya, Kang Sujin—” Seojun warned.

“I bet Jukyung pities you too.” Sujin stalked up to Seojun. “Ah, that loser, Han Seojun, until when is he going to be hung up on me? I bet that’s what she thinks every time she sees you.”

They glared at each other for the longest time. Maybe too long.

“Kang Sujin… you are seriously messed up.” Was all Seojun said before he walked away; from Sujin and the entire situation. Sujin’s eyes filled with tears which she furiously blinked away.

If Sujin had been more like Jukyung, she would have dealt with this situation maturely. Lim Kukyung would have faced her emotions and not taken Seojun’s sympathy as pity. Lim Jukyung would have been up front about how she felt and not pushed Seojun away. Lim Jukyung would have been better.

But Kang Sujin was not Lim Jukyung. Kang Sujin was a messed up girl.

iv.

“Has anyone heard from Sujin recently?” Jukyung asked the group. They were all gathered for lunch, all except Seojun and Sujin, both of whom had been absent these past couple of get-togethers.

“Wae? Has something happened?” Suah asked.

“Not really. But she hasn’t been replying as much to my texts.” Jukyung pouted.

“You know what Kang Su is like. She’s rarely online. Plus, she’s working all these jobs now.”

“She always replies to me though,” Jukyung muttered to herself as she looked at her chat with Sujin. The one Sujin hadn’t responded to since four days.

“Is Seojun not coming today either?” Taehoon asked Suho.

“Don’t know. He’s so busy with brand practice these days that he barely replies to me.”

“Guys! Sorry I’m late!” Sujin rushed towards the group.

“Kang Su!” Jukyung and Suah welcomed her.

“We were afraid you wouldn’t show up again.” Jukyung said, putting her arm through Sujin’s.

“Kang Su-ya,” Suah said, playfully nudging Sujin’s shoulder, “you’re all dressed up. Did you just come back from a date?” Indeed Sujin was wearing a sleek black pant suit with full makeup on.

“Who went on a date?” Seojun arrived but stopped when he saw Sujin. Sujin held her breath as she waited for him to say something.

“Our Kang Su.” Suah responded. Seojun just flicked a brow but betrayed no emotion. He took a seat besides Suho.

“Ya! It wasn’t a date. I just came back from an interview.” She grinned.

“Ooh! How did it go?”

Sujin kept her silence for a second before she finally burst with excitement, “I got it!” The girls squealed at the good news. “Its at this non-profit that works with providing clean water to under-developed countries.” She showed everyone the website for the company and the work that they did on her phone.

Everyone congratulated Sujin on her accomplishment. Even Seojun gave her a “Congratulations.” To which she thanked him.

“I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t think you’d come.” Suho told Seojun.

He wasn’t going to. But he had heard that Sujin hadn’t been present either and he had figured it would be okay for him to join everyone if she wasn’t there. 

She should have been an actress, Seojun thought as he watched Sujin behave like nothing was wrong.

The conversation over lunch flowed easily as it usually did. Everyone laughed, joked and shared about what had happened since they last met. No one seemed to notice that Seojun and Sujin were not speaking directly to each other, even once. They only spoke to everyone else.

It was only when Seojun was leaving the men’s room that he found Sujin waiting for him and jumped in surprise.

“Ah, ggam-jjak-ee-ya!” Seojun held his chest in shock.

“Aww, the great Han Seojun get’s scared?”

“Only when confronted by pervert girls who stalk boys outside the washrooms.”

Sujin narrowed her eyes. “Shut up! I wasn’t stalking. I was only waiting to talk to you.”

“That’s equally worrying. What do you want?” He said dismissively.

Sujin handed him a keychain. It was his own face made in cartoon form. “Here. I know how much you love seeing yourself.”

“What’s this for?”

Sujin cleared her throat. “An apology. Mianhae, Han Seojun. Last time—”

“I don’t want to hear it.” He handed the keychain back to Sujin. She grabbed his arm as he tried to leave.

“At least hear me out.”

“No.” Seojun pushed her arm away.

Sujin’s lips tightened. She grabbed Seojun’s arm again, pulling him with brute strength. “Will you just listen to me you big baby! I’m trying to apologize.” She glared at him.

“Why? I thought you hated me.”

Sujin’s face softened. “I don’t hate you, Han Seojun.” She let go of his arm. “That time… when you started talking about my father, I just lost it. I haven’t actually told anybody about what he did to me. Not even Suah and Jukyung know. All they know is that he was tough on me.”

“Lee Suho knows.” Seojun accused.

“He figured it out on his own. I never actually told him. How could I?” Sujin felt ridiculous admitting it out loud, “How could I tell him that I don’t know what a happy family looks like? I see Jukyung with her dad and Suah with hers and how they have such good relationships, and I can’t imagine being the same way with my father. And that makes me feel like a freak. People already give me weird looks because of my parents’ divorce. If they knew about my father, they’d think that I was crazy… and maybe I am, who knows.”

Seojun softened. “You’re not crazy, Sujin-ah.” 

There it was, that pity on Han Seojun’s face. Sujin hated it but she had come today to this lunch only to apologize to him and that is what she was going to do.

“I am, Han Seojun. Why else would I have said all of those mean things?” Sujin’s voice shook. Seojun moved to hug her but she stepped away. Him comforting her would be too much, she would fall to pieces if he did. She had to hold herself together, on her own. “I’m sorry Han Seojun. I didn’t mean any of it. Not a single word.”

Seojun nodded. “I know.” He felt like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders and only then did he notice how bothered he really had been about their fight.

“You guys not coming?” Suho asked as he passed by. Seojun and Sujin straightened themselves up and joined the others.

They found the girls giggling at something on Jukyung’s phone.

“What’s funny?”

“Ya Kang Sujin, your nose looks so big in this!” Suah commented. Jukyung turned the phone to Sujin. It was the video of the live event they had done.

“Aish!” Sujin said disapprovingly. “I look so weird in this video.”

Suho and Taehoon leaned over and laughed too as Sujin robotically read off the comments in the video.

“Maybe we can go Seojun’s makeup next.” Jukyung suggested.

“I’m a celebrity, Lim Jukyung.” He said haughtily, pulling the lapels of his jacket, “You can’t just have me on any show.”

Sujin wrinkled her nose at Seojun, “This coming from a guy who didn’t even know the difference between ppt and fitting.”

“That never happened!” Seojun contested. Everyone else laughed.

“Sujin-ah. Maybe I can have you on as a guest next time.” Jukyung suggested.

“Sure.” Sujin put her arm around Jukyung and whispered audibly, “And let’s do it when Suho isn’t around.” The girls winked to each other.

Suho smacked Sujin’s hand away from Jukyung’s shoulder. “Keep your hands off my girlfriend.”

“Sure. But I can’t guarantee she’ll keep her hands off me.” Sujin grinned evilly. Suho’s wide eyed, worried, expression made Jukyung laugh.

v.

Han Seojun fell on his face for the umpteenth time as he tried to hit the ball that Sujin had served. He was lucky they were all on the beach and his face was hitting soft sand instead of concrete.

“Ya, who’s idea was it to play volleyball?” Seojun asked as he brushed himself off.

“Quit being a sore loser, Han Seo!” Sujin called from the girl’s side of the net.

“Just you watch. I will make you eat your words!”

Of course, the boys lost. Suho was too distracted by Jukyung. Taehoon played bad on purpose because Suah said she wanted to win. Chorong was a bad at playing in general. The only two people taking this seriously were Han Seojun and Kang Sujin who ran around covering up for their team mates, as if their lives depended on winning. Sujin in particular refused to let Seojun get a single goal.

“You must really hate Han Seojun, huh?” Suah asked once the game was over.

“No. I just don’t like to lose.”

“Look at her, it’s like she’s going to war.” Jukyung laughed at the fire in Sujin’s eyes.

“Did you piss Kang Sujin off?” Taehoon was asking Seojun on the other side as the boys drank water.

“Nah, she’s just like that in general.” Seojun panted, still exhausted from the game.

A crowd of girls had gathered around their little game, drawn towards Suho and Seojun playing. They had cheered the boys on during the game and now they gravitated towards the two, hoping to get a chance to talk to them.

Suho had brushed them off in his usual rude manner. Seojun had been obliging, especially when they recognized who he was. He patiently signed autographs but couldn’t take pictures since his company didn’t allow them.

“Han Seojun, we have to get back.” Suah had come over to inform him.

“Yeah, just one minute.” The fans kept coming and coming. Seojun realized that maybe he should tell them he has to go. But as much as he wanted, he couldn’t say no to the hopeful girls who had liked the music that he made and had decided his signature was worth something.

“Han Seojun hurry up! We have to move!” Jukyung called.

“Just a second!”

Suho came over and rudely pushed through the crowd of girls. “Yah! Don’t be like that to my fans.” He tried dragging Seojun away but Seojun dodged him and the girls quickly pushed him back.

“Yah! Haven’t you girls had enough?!” Sujin’s voice boomed over the crowd, terrifying everyone. “And you girls over there!” Sujin pointed, “I saw you two return twice! You’re planning on selling those autographs, aren’t you?”

“Ya Kang Sujin—” Seojun began to protest.

“Don’t piss me off.” Sujin warned, “Our trip isn’t a place for you to have fan meetings.” She grabbed Seojun’s wrist and dragged him away before he could object.

The fangirls whispered to each other angrily, but none dared stand in Sujin’s way as she took Seojun away from them.

“Mwo-ya.”

“Who is that girl?”

“What the hell?”

“Come on, I’m hungry. We should get back to the resort.” Suho said when Seojun had joined them. He and Taehoon picked up their things and loaded them in their car.

At a distance, near a food cart, stood Kim Chorong. He watched as everyone got ready to leave. He could see Suah and Jukyung clinging to their boyfriends, his own posse goofing around and Han Seojun laughing and joking with his arm around Suho.

“Did you see how all those girls swarmed around me?” Seojun asked Jukyung. “Ya, aren’t you lucky to have a guy like me as your friend?”

“What lucky? You wasted all our time!” Jukyung scolded.

“Ah, I just can’t turn off my charms.”

Sujin scoffed, pulling a disgusted face, “Where? Where are these charms?” She put her hand over her eyes and mimicked searching.

“Right here!” Seojun replied, puffing his chest. “See how charming I am!”

“As charming as a sea louse maybe.”

“Yah!” The group laughed as Seojun pointed accusingly at Sujin.

Chorong had watched as Seojun pointed at Sujin in a huff while everyone laughed. It was the liveliest that Chorong had ever seen Han Seojun be.

“Chagi, what are you doing here all alone?” Chorong’s girlfriend came up to him.

“Geunyang.” Chorong put his arm around his girlfriend and walked towards the group.

They all went back to their resort, a beautiful location that Suho had paid for as this was the first time that everyone was going together since high school. They were all given shared rooms. Naturally, Chorong shared his with Seojun.

“Han Seojun,” Chorong began as Seojun changed out of his shirt, “I’m really happy for you.”

“Huh? What for?”

“You always used to complain about hanging out with everyone, but I don’t hear you do that anymore.” Chorong said sentimentally.

Seojun blinked. “Kim Chorong did you drink too much sea water? What kind of a weird thing is that to say?”

Chorong came up and hugged the half-naked Seojun, who balked at the gesture. “What the hell?!”

“Do you know how worried I was about you?” Chorong, with his enormous size, did not notice how Han Seojun desperately struggled to break free from his grip.

“Ya! You pervert, lemme go!”

“Ah-nee, look at you now. You said you would never go on an overnight trip with Suho and Jukyung, and yet here you are.”

Seojun stopped struggling. “What?”

It was odd that out of all people, Chorong had been the one to notice. “I’m so happy for you Han Seojun. Th—”

“Han Seojun, Jukyung’s asking if you would—whatthehell?” Sujin burst in and went still when she saw a half dressed Seojun being held by a sentimental looking Chorong.

Sujin betrayed no emotion. Just wordlessly took out her phone and promptly snapped a photo.

Han Seojun tried to push Chorong away, “No! Ya! Don’t you dare!”

“Jukyung is asking if you will sing songs for us. Quickly get dressed and come over, okay?” Sujin went out and Seojun caught a glimpse of her evil smile as she did.

“Yah! Kim Chorong!” Seojun shouted as Chorong finally let him go.

Of course, Seojun would perform. He always did when Jukyung asked. The group clapped at the end of the first song but the only reaction Seojun cared for was Jukyung. As usual, he found her engrossed with Lee Suho instead of him. Seojun couldn’t help but stare at the two.

“You sounded good.” Sujin came out of nowhere, blocking his view of Jukyung. Seojun knew, she was doing it on purpose.

“Too obvious?” He asked quietly.

“Too obvious. Suah almost noticed.” Sujin moved to block Suah’s line of vision to Seojun’s face.

“Thanks, I owe you one.” Seojun said.

“Pay me back with a song then.” Sujin rolled on her heels.

“Nope. Only Jukyung gets to request songs.”

She pfft-ed through her lips, “Mwo-ya. How stingy.” She turned on her heels.

“What song?” Seojun asked. Sujin smiled and turned back.

“You Were Beautiful by Day6.”

“Why not something by my band?” Seojun sounded almost insulted.

“I like Day6 better.” Sujin teased.

“I expected better taste from you, Kang Sujin.” Seojun adjusted the tuning of his guitar, testing the chords.

“Its my goodbye.” Sujin explained. “I’m moving on from Lee Suho.”

“Haven’t I heard that before?” Seojun said skeptically.

“Its for real this time.” Sujin said. Seojun looked up at her determined face.

“You’re serious.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah. It’s been long enough now. This is my way of making it official. So do a good job, okay?” Sujin walked away.

“I bet I’ll sing it better!” Seojun called after her.

“We’ll see!”

She hadn’t looked at Suho even once during his performance. But then, she hadn’t looked at anyone, just stared out the window. By the end she was tearing up. Seojun saw Suho happen to look over at Sujin.

He’s going to see her cry.

Seojun began to play his guitar loudly and messily, “Yeppeosseo! Yeppeosseo! Neon neomu yeppeosseo!” Everyone winced as he sang, or rather shouted, at the wrong note. But the abrupt bad singing had its intended effect. Suho’s attention was on Han Seojun. It took a second for Sujin to get the message. She sat up straight and wiped her face.

“Han Seojun! Stop it!” Suah yelled and Seojun stopped. “Are you in a rock band?”

Sujin sent him a grateful smile.

“It’s a totally new style of singing. You guys don’t like?” Seojun asked.

“No!” Came the resounding response.

Sujin’s was the only voice that said. “Yes!”

Seojun pointed his guitar at Sujin, head tilted back. “Better than Day6?”

“Much better!” Sujin grinned.

vi.

“YES! I WIN! I WIN!” Seojun ran around the court, pumping his fist in the air as Kang Sujin stared with a flat face and her hands on her hips. After having lost at nearly everything to Kang Sujin, Han Seojun had finally discovered something she was bad at.

“Are you really that happy?” She said, her upper lip pulled up in disdain.

“Ya! How can someone be so bad at basketball? You didn’t score a single goal!” Seojun’s eyes were wide with pure joy, his cheeks uplifted in a wide smile.

“Stop making fun of me.” Sujin fumed. She hated losing.

“I mean, I’ve never seen anyone lose so bad!” He laughed while pointing at Sujin, relishing in her first defeat. He knew he was great at basketball, but he hadn’t expected Sujin to be that bad. Sujin looked away, puffing up her cheeks.

“Zero!” He made a circle from his finger and thumb, “You got zero! I’ve seen worse players score more on accident!”

“Ah shut up!” She stomped her foot, "I was just off my game!”

“Off your game? Wae? Was my handsome face too distracting for you?” Seojun expected Sujin to come after him with a flying kick, or a punch in the shoulder or even a pithy retort. What he didn’t expect was the deep blush that spread across her cheeks. She looked around, choosing to look anywhere but him.

“Oh my God, jinjja? You got distracted by my face?” Seojun moving to look at her face better.

“Ah-nee-godun!” Sujin yelled, dodging his gaze. “Who would get distracted by those mean eyes?”

“Oh, so it was my eyes?” Seojun purred.

“As if!”

“Ooooooh! You’re even blushing!” He teased.

“I’m red from playing!” Sujin spun around and walked away, leaving Seojun laughing.

“I’m joking! I’m joking! I know it’s not that. Come back Sujin-ah!”

They changed out of their sweaty gym clothes. Seojun was wearing his typical brown coat over black pants and a black turtle-neck sweater. He was ready before Sujin so he waited for her outside.

She came out all dolled up, her hair brushed straight, fresh makeup on her face. She had a white coat over a pretty, pale pink dress. Seojun didn’t understand why she had dressed up so brightly today. She even had heels on. Sujin had denied any special reason when he had asked before so he figured this was just a girl thing that he would never understand.

They had only walked a couple of steps when Sujin stopped in her tracks. “Ah, shit. I think I forgot my phone inside.”

“Why are you so distracted today? Where is your head, Kang Sujin?” Seojun complained. Sujin ran back inside to get her phone.

“Got it!” She came back running.

They walked over to the café that they frequented to the point where the barista recognized them now.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t go to the amusement park like you wanted.” Seojun apologized.

Sujin waved a hand dismissively, “Doesn’t matter. It was just a throw away suggestion.”

“But I understand why you wanted to go there instead.”

“You do?” Sujin asked with a tinge of worry.

“Its because you didn’t want me to find out you were bad at basketball, didn’t you?” Seojun snapped his fingers.

Sujin’s face fell. She clicked her tongue in disappointment.

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

Sujin replied sarcastically, “Ah, you’re totally right Han Seojun. I am so immature that all I care about is winning against a guy who thought Einstein was an appliance.”

“That happened only once.” Seojun defended.

A silence fell between them as their order came. Wordlessly, Sujin drank her iced latte and Seojun sipped his iced Americano. They often had these moments where neither would speak. But it was a comfortable silence. Sometimes Seojun and Sujin just enjoyed each other’s company without feeling the need to talk.

“You know we never finished our five questions.” Sujin reminded.

“Oh wow. That feels like it was so long ago.” Seojun leaned his head back as he tried to remember. “We covered the When. Where… I don’t remember where I fell in love with Jukyung. I think it was the moment in school where she was making fun of my…” Seojun cleared his throat.

“One of these days I’ll find out what that incident was, Han Seojun.” Sujin claimed.

“But not today.” He smiled. “So yeah, I think it was in school. What about you?”

“I think it was at the tutoring centers. I used to go there to study. My father had hit me, and I was in a strange place at that time. Suho comforted me and I guess that was when I realized I liked him. Now you, why did you like Lim Jukyung?”

Seojun leaned back and thought for the longest time. “She was… unexpected. I only started to pester her because I thought she was dating Suho.”

“Yeah, I remember that pestering part.”

Ya, Han Seojun are you a gangster?! Whiplash. Every time Seojun remembered that moment he felt whiplash.

“Since I hated Suho at that time, I had expected her to be hateful too. I thought she was just some vain, mindless girl but… she was the complete opposite. She was kind and thoughtful. She had a good heart and that made her beautiful to me. With or without makeup.” Seojun paused, then suddenly chuckled.

“What?”

“It’s funny. Before, I was never able to pin down what I liked about her. My feelings always seemed so complicated. But now that I see it… it feels so obvious.”

Seojun didn’t notice Sujin looking down at her hands, nervously rubbing them together, “Seojun, do you ever think you coul—” She spoke just when Seojun did.

“What did you like about Suho—oh sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“No, no.” Sujin shook her head. “I wasn’t saying anything. You were asking why I liked Lee Suho? Umm…” Sujin thought about it.

“Lee Suho, has never once liked a girl. Not before Jukyung, at least. There was a time when I was his only friend in school. And I thought… I misunderstood, his kindness as interest. I’ve always been pushed to get the number one position, you know? I always had to be number one. And when I thought that the guy that liked no one, liked me… it made me feel like I was number one, even if I ranked low on the grade sheet.” Sujin looked out the glass wall of the café, out on the street where people were walking, and it was slightly drizzling.

“When he found out that my father hit me, I thought he would see me as a crazy person, or pity me, or judge me for hating my father. But he never did. He only comforted me. He just… understood. And it was the first time that I felt that there was someone else who could understand me and understand what I was going through. That’s why I liked Lee Suho.”

Sujin looked back at Seojun. His mouth had shrunken into a small curve.

“But now he’s just annoying.” Sujin said in a lighter tone, “I mean, at a certain point you start hating people when they appear too perfect, isn’t that so?”

Seojun attempted a smile but it was weak.

“I’m happy now, Seojun-ah. I’m happy that I’m not with Suho. I think its for the best. If I think about it. Suho and I are too similar. We didn’t need more of the same. We needed someone who would help us change. Jukyung helped Suho do that. I could never have.”

“That’s a healthy way to look at it. Though I still think I’m perfect for Jukyung.” Seojun said smugly.

Sujin scoffed. “You think you’re perfect for every girl.”

“Where’s the lie?”

“Here! Yeogi! Here’s the lie.” Sujin tapped her finger on Seojun’s side of the table.

“Ah, Kang Sujin. You have no taste.” Seojun squinted his eyes at her in mock pity.

“And you have the IQ of a sloth.”

“I don’t need a high IQ. My greatest strength is my charm.”

“You keep mentioning this charm but I never see it.” Sujin put her hand over her eyes and began to search around.

They bickered in the café till the barista had to remind them, that they were being too loud. The banter continued as Seojun walked her all the way to her apartment. Throughout the way, Seojun could notice Sujin acting nervously; playing with the hem of her dress, combing her hair again and again, wiping her sweaty palms against her coat when she thought he wasn’t looking. He felt she had something to say to him but he didn’t want to ask what it was. If Kang Sujin had something to say, she said it.

Then, out of the blue, she swiveled on her heel to stand right in front of him.

“Ya, Han Seojun…”

“What?”

Sujin gulped. “Ah-nee-da. It’s nothing.” She turned her back to him.

“Whaaaat?” Seojun whined. “You’ve been fidgeting this while time so you definitely have something to say. What is it?”

“I forgot.” Sujin said, walking ahead, biting her lip.

“Mwo-ya…” Seojun let it go. She probably had more to say about Lee Suho and he wasn’t in any mood to hear it.

“Good night, Sujin-ah.” Seojun said when they reached her building.

“D-Do you wanna come up?” Sujin asked, stuttering a bit.

“Nah. I should go. I have an early day tomorrow.”

“Ah, okay.”

“Chalga.” Seojun waved goodbye. He had not walked more than ten steps when Sujin called out to him.

“Han Seojun!”

“What?”

Sujin hesitated. “B-Bye!”

Seojun chuckled. “Mwo-ya. She’s so weird.”

Sujin saw him wave and then leave. “If he turns, then I’ll tell him.” She told herself, trying to work up the courage to say what she had been meaning to the entire night.

But he never turned. Seojun just kept on walking and walking till he disappeared into the crowd.

“I like you, Han Seojun.” Sujin confessed to the wind. “I like you a lot.”

vii.

Han Seojun had to be absent for the whole month due to his idol duties. Sujin was glad for his absence. It had given her time to set her head straight about her feelings. She could still vividly remember, that last time she had ever confessed to a guy and that was back in high school. She clearly recalled how Suho had looked at her with disgust when she had said, or rather declared that he would have liked her if she had confessed first.

No. I wouldn’t have.

“Aish! What was I thinking saying all of those things?” She pulled at her hair as she rolled over in her bed. The humiliation of demanding that Suho break up with Jukyung, and ridiculously saying that she would toss Jukyung aside for him was too much. On top of that, she had tried to kiss Suho and he had pushed her away, repulsed. That in and of itself made her stomach ache with embarrassment.

She had a good heart and that made her beautiful to me. With or without makeup.

“Ah out of all people why him?! Why another guy who loves Lim Jukyung?! What the hell is wrong with me?!” Sujin groaned, rolling around in her bed over and over. Was she obsessed with men who were into Jukyung? Sujin felt frustrated with herself and wanted to throw her heart out.

She just has this warmth about her that just… draws you in.

Kind, caring, genuine, warm; none of those things describe me. Good heart? A single search on the internet would reveal just how good my heart is. Betraying my best friend and ruining all of my friendships in the process… who would say I have a good heart?

Sujin couldn’t compete with the shadow cast by Lim Jukyung. Even if Seojun did start to like her, Lim Jukyung would always be his first love. And just like always, Sujin would be second.

Sujin felt a familiar jealousy creep in; a resentment, a hate, an anger. It was history repeating itself. It was Lim Jukyung again. Why? Why did it have to be her? She and Suho had ten years worth of history between them and even that couldn’t compare to how he felt for Jukyung. Sujin and Seojun had only a year worth of friendship, a quarter of which included Seojun hating her.

It was a dark feeling. A heavy feeling. Like a weight in her chest. Sujin carried it with her whereever she went. She was supposed to meet everyone today. Seojun was suppsed to be back. She felt like she would be a coward if she didn’t go. But she felt like she would hate Jukyung more if she saw her. In the end she did go, and that weight in her chest went with her.

Jukyung was outside alone when Sujin saw her. She was finishing up a call.

Why? Why did it have to be her? Whywhywhy?

Sujin stopped in her tracks. No. She thought resolutely. She would not make the same mistake again. She would not let her feelings take over her judgement. She would not lose her friend again. As much as she loved Han Seojun, she loved her friendship with Lim Jukyung even more.

“Sujin-ah! You’re here-Oh?”

Sujin enveloped Jukyung in a massive hug, almost on the verge of tears. Jukyung hugged her back, confused.

“You know I love you, right?” Sujin said.

“Dangyunhaji! I love you too.” Jukyung hugged her tighter.

“I’ll always be a good friend to you, Jukyung-ah. I promise.” Sujin sniffed.

“Oh, are you crying?”

“No, there’s just something in my eye.” Sujin quickly wiped her face while still holding Jukyung so that she wouldn’t see her cry.

But before she could part, something pulled her collar from behind.

An irritated Suho stood, still tugging at her collar, “You’re not stealing my fiancée.”

“I bet she’d prefer me to you.”

“Okay! Okay! No fighting!” Jukyung declared a ceasefire.

“Are we fighting?” Seojun came up, putting his arm casually around Suho. “If it’s a fight, my bet’s on Sujin.”

“Wae. You think she’s better than me?” Suho asked.

“She’s scarier than you.”

“You traitor.” Suho released himself from Seojun’s side hug and went inside, grumbling. Jukyung followed after him.

“What was that about?” Seojun asked Sujin.

Sujin looked at him. His delicate, boyish features, his mean looking eyes that carried a surprising warmth. Her heartbeat wildly like a hummingbird. Sujin felt like she could spend an entire day just staring at his face. And then she felt it again, the quiet darkness that reminded her that she could never be with him. Quite suddenly, Sujin spun around and kicked Han Seojun in the back.

“Yah! What was that for?!” Seojun yelled.

“For being you.” She said and walked in, leaving Seojun bruised and confused.

viii.

You were pretty

The feeling of not wanting anything more

Moments that only you gave

Everything, everything

Everything has passed

But you were so pretty

Seojun hummed the song as he finalized the playlist for Jukyung’s wedding. Of course, he was going to perform at Jukyung’s wedding. It only made sense given his connection to Jukyung and Suho. The fact that Suho’s father was an important man at Move Entertainment also helped make things official.

A part of Han Seojun had wished that Jukyung hadn’t asked him. He was terrified of her wedding day; terrified of what his heart might do to him, terrified that he might feel compelled to run away with her in front of everyone.

Right now Seojun was calm. But it felt like it was the calm before the storm.

“Memories of me, have probably become, a thing of the past for you too, whatever I saw to you, it will all be something, in the past.”

“What’s that? New song?” His band mate asked when he overheard Seojun singing to himself.

“Hmm? No, its Day6.” The song had been stuck in his head since the day he had sung it for Sujin.

“You’re going to play a cover for your friend?”

“Yeah.” It would be his send off to Jukyung. Like Kang Sujin, Seojun was going to put an end to his chapter with Jukyung.

His bandmate put the song on their speaker. After the first verse he declared, “Yah! You can’t play a breakup song at a wedding.”

“Is it too obvious? I was hoping I could get away with it.” Seojun scratched the back of his head, stretching. He had been on his computer for hours now.

“Take it off. Choose something else.”

Seojun went back through his list of songs that he wanted to play. There was one other song that he had discovered recently by a disbanded group. He had really connected with the lyrics and it wasn’t a breakup song.

“How about this?” Seojun played it.

“Yeah, that’s perfect. Use that for the couple dance.” His bandmate said.

The anticipation of the pain kept Seojun up all night. He worried about how he might behave or what might happen. The next day he woke up grouchy and depressed.

“Woah! Why do you look like a ghost?” His bandmate had said when Seojun arrived that morning. He would be going to the wedding with his band, given that they were performing. This might have been easier if he had gone with his friends.

Don’t worry. I’m here if you need me. Sujin had texted that morning. But Seojun was done relying on Sujin like a crutch. He would deal with things on his own. He didn’t want Sujin to think that all he was good for was complaining about his broken heart.

Seojun waited for the pain to hit when they arrived at the location but it didn’t. The wedding planner helped Seojun and his band set up along with members of Seojun’s own staff. When everything was good to go, Seojun took his leave to meet Jukyung in the bridal room where everyone was taking pictures with her.

Here it comes. The pain. How would it feel? Would Seojun cry again?

“Seojun-ah! You’re here!” Jukyung said. She looked stunning in her beautiful white dress. “Hurry! Get in the picture!”

Everyone was there, already positioned for the shot. Seojun joined Sujin to the side. She was wearing a tasteful black pant suit that fit her well. She was wearing makeup which Seojun noticed looked similar to one of Jukyung’s tutorials.

“How does it feel?” He whispered to Sujin.

“Meh.” She replied. “You?”

It was strange. Seojun didn’t feel anything. “Oddly enough, I feel fine.” Surely he was in shock. The pain would hit any time soon. 

It was a while before the pictures were done. Seojun’s cheeks felt sore from all of the smiling.

“Come with me to see Suho.” Sujin held up her arm and Seojun took it. She escorted him to where Suho was receiving his guests.

“Lee Su! Congratulations!” Sujin hugged him. Seojun did the same.

“Yah! I can’t believe we’re old enough to get married.” Seojun commented. Suho laughed.

Chorong and the Seojun Squad came over too, patting a blushing Suho on the back.

Seojun couldn’t help but think that Seyeon would have loved to have seen this. Sujin sensed his sadness and bumped shoulders with him.

“Okay?”

“Uh-huh.” Seojun smiled. Oddly enough he was. The pain still hadn’t hit.

A couple of girls walked up to him and asked him whether he really was the Han Seojun they were fans of.

“Of course!” Seojun puffed his chest and signed their autographs. He couldn’t see it but he could feel Sujin’s disgusted gaze on his back. When they were gone, Seojun turned to Sujin with an arrogant grin.

“Ah, I hope more people won’t bother me for my autograph.” He said in fake modesty.

“You should be grateful to have any fans.” She scoffed at him.

“Ugh. You’re too mean, Sujin-ah.” Seojun pouted.

“Ugh. You’re too childish, Seojun-ah.” Sujin mimicked him.

“Um. Excuse me.” A shy looking girl approached Seojun.

“Oh, you want an autograph too?” Seojun had a pen ready. Sujin gave him her most scathing side eye.

“Um actually—”

“You want a picture too? Sorry but I’m not allowed to take pictures at the moment. But I’ll sign if you like.”

The girl blushed deeply. “No, um—”

“Oh I get it.” Seojun swiped his hair dramatically from his forehead. “You’re here to confess to me. Well then I should let you know—”

“They’dlikeyoubackonstage!” The girl quickly blurted. “They’d like you to join your band. The ceremony is about to begin.”

Sujin laughed uproariously, that clear gurgle of pure, high pitched happiness that Seojun often enjoyed. But not in this moment. Not when his arrogance had been so efficiently deflated.

“Sure. I’ll be right there.” He mumbled to the girl who scurried away. Sujin was still laughing. “Found that funny, did you?” Seojun said, but it was not a reprimand. He liked that she was happy.

“Yes.” Sujin wiped away tears.

“You’re going to regret making fun of me when I perform.” He said, comically pulling the lapels of his jacket before leaving.

The lights dimmed as the wedding began. The Master of Ceremonies kicked things off, guiding everyone through everything. The band only played instrumental now. Suho entered first. Jukyung entered after him, looking every bit the ethereal angel that she was.

The couple exchanged their wows and drank the traditional wine. They then bowed to each other and bowed to their guests. Even in the darkness, Seojun could pick out Sujin. From the light glittering off her cheeks he could tell she was crying. He was too. But these were happy tears. His friends were about to make a new journey in their life together and he was happy for them. Truly. That pain he had dreaded over Jukyung’s wedding never did show up. Perhaps it never would. All he could feel was excitement for his closest friends.

Seojun had only one regret, that Seyeon hadn’t been able to see this moment. Seyeon’s was the one absence he always felt. In that moment, Han Seojun swore that he saw Seyeon among the guests. He saw his friend smile to Lee Suho’s and then to him. But Seojun blinked and Seyeon was gone but Seojun would keep that image of Seyeon similing with him forever.

Once the formal ceremony was over, it was time for the real party to begin. Seojun and his band turned up the performance, raising the mood of the room. People danced and sang along with them as they played so well that Sujin realized she could no longer make fun of Seojun when he bragged about his band.

The band then slowed things down, the set finally reaching the song Seojun was excited to play. He emptied his mind of everything but that one song and how it made him feel. This was for Suho and Jukyung and he was going to give his best performance tonight.

The bride and groom took center stage and swayed as Seojun played a softer version of Haru by a lesser known band, Royal Pirates. His rich baritone filled the room as everyone listened, entranced.

“You’re not a traditional beauty, but I like you, you who gets more attractive everyday.”

Seojun had never understood why people considered her attractive. To him, beauty had never mattered. But as he had gotten to know her, he found her to be more beautiful that how others described her.

“You don’t have a feminine voice, but the more I hear it, the more I get attached.”

He could hear her now, scolding him, yelling at him, throwing witty remarks at him that caused him whiplash, which was just his heart beating really fast.

“I can’t call you often, but I always miss you.  Each minute, each second. Yeah-yeah.”

When he thought about it, they never really hung out as much as he did with Suho or his Seojun Squad. Most of the time Seojun was busy with work and so was she. But he still looked forward to the times he would meet her again.

“An entire day would pass just by looking at you. If I look at you, I can’t do anything else. Oooooooh. An entire day would pass just by thinking of you. I won’t be able to sleep at thoughts of you. But I can’t help it, an entire day would pass just because of you.”

Time did fly when they were together. Whether he liked her or hated her, he had to admit. She was never boring. Even through the mundane stuff, she always kept his attention. With her brows furrowed as she concentrated, her mouth turned like an ‘n’. He smiled whenever he thought about it.

“We have so many differences. But you fill up what I lack. No matter how much I see you, you’re always beautiful. No matter what anyone says.”

She was always ahead of him; so much smarter and stronger. Beating him at everything. Well, everything except—wait. He never played basketball with Jukyung.

Seojun missed a note. The guitar twanged awkwardly as he stopped singing. His hands were shaking but he didn’t have time to digest what had just happened. The moment only lasted a half-second; Seojun had recovered quickly and continued. No one paid attention to his little mess up, but his hands were still shaking, and his heart felt like it would burst.

He couldn’t think about it. But how couldn’t he? This song had been for her all along. He had been staring at Kang Sujin the entire time he was performing, without even knowing it.

“An entire day would pass just by looking at you. If I look at you, I can’t do anything else. Oooooooh. An entire day would pass just by thinking of you. I won’t be able to sleep at thoughts of you. But I can’t help it, an entire day would pass just because of you.”

The base guitarist for his band leaned over to him when the song was done.

“Thought you lost your footing for a bit there.”

“You noticed? Did anyone else did?”

“Nah, I think you’re safe. But are you okay? You’re shaking.”

“Nothing.” Seojun said, more to himself, “Its… its nothing.”

ix.

He never got to see her again at the wedding. The band was surrounded by fans once they finished so they had to be escorted out. Their food had been arranged separately for privacy. By the time Seojun got the chance to break free, Sujin, along with most of the guests, had left.

Which was good because he needed to settle himself before he said anything to anyone. He couldn’t make heads or tails of what had happened.

“I like Kang Sujin? Ridiculous. Totally, ridiculous. This would never happen!”

Be that as it may, his heart still acted strangely when he got a text from her asking if he was okay. She was worried about him since Jukyung and Suho were now married. He told her tersely that he was busy and couldn’t meet. Then threw his phone away when he realized he actually really wanted to meet her.

It was the first time that I felt that there was someone else who could understand me and understand what I was going through.

Seojun could still remember his irritation when Sujin had told him why she liked Lee Suho. He had resented the fact that yet another girl saw Lee Suho as perfect. How could Han Seojun ever compare to the perfectly perfect Lee Suho? He and Sujin had ten years between them and a shared tragedy with their fathers that Seojun didn’t have.

Ah-nee, can’t I be someone who understands? Can’t she see that I get her too?

“Ridiculous. Why would I want her to think I understand her? Ridiculous.”

If Han Seojun had to answer the What, When, Where and Why of his feelings, he would not be able to put it into words. His feelings were intense and complicated. Too complicated for even him to comprehend. Which is why the braincell that he shared with Suho decided that he must be mistaken and that he didn’t actually have any feelings for Sujin.

“Ah-ne-da. I must have been overwhelmed because of Jukyung. Yes, that must be it. It must be a defense mechanism. I’m only thinking about her to protect myself, because I’m still not over Jukyung.”

It made sense. She was the only other girl he was close to in his squad, and they had been hanging out together more than they used to. His heart must have just gotten confused for a moment. Yes, that was it and nothing more.

The group did not meet each other for a while. Suho and Jukyung had gone off to their honeymoon. Suah and Taehoon had their own things. Seojun only met up with Chorong and Co. but his heart was never in those meetings.

He wouldn’t meet up with her. She tried texting and calling but he always gave her an excuse.

Why did we start meeting so much in the first place? He hadn’t noticed when it had happened, but Sujin had become someone he had come to rely on and this he only noticed when he started avoiding her.

“Seojun, you’re not coming to the flower festival?” Chorong asked, shaking him out of his thoughts.

“Huh? What flower festival?”

“Ah-nee, where is your mind these days? You attend it every year! Did you forget?”

Oh right. Seojun always did like to see the flower exhibitions held once a year. He always got flowers for his mother and sister when he went. It may have seemed like a ridiculous hobby for a boy to be so interested in flowers. But Seojun unabashedly liked them and of course, Chorong and Co. were always there to go with him.

“Of course I’m going to attend. Wae?”

“Sujinnie was asking if she could tag along with us. Suah and Taehoon are not around so she has no one to go with.”

Sujinnie?! Seojun blinked rapidly. “Ya, since when are you and Kang Sujin close?”

“Waegurae? Aren’t we all friends with her now? Did something happen?”

Seojun put on a straight face, “Ah-nee!” He exclaimed in a pitch too high, “Nothing happened. I’m just surprised, as all.”

“Aigoo. Did you guys fight? Sujin did say you haven’t been replying to her texts recently.”

Seojun tried hiding his curiosity, “You’ve spoken to her?” He said, as nonchalantly as he could, which wasn’t nonchalant at all.

“Of course. We all had drinks yesterday.”

“What?! Why the hell did you guys meet her and not me?”

“Seojun, she did text you about it.” One of his friends pointed out.

“Yeah! And why are you acting so weird? Do you hate Kang Sujin again?” Chorong asked.

“Ya! Don’t hate her! We like her now!”

“Yes!” Half the group said together.

“Arasso! Arasso! Calm down.” Seojun waved at them to chill. It wasn’t as if he minded that Kang Sujin was hanging out with his friends. But he did feel a sense of betrayal that he didn’t know about it.

“So, how about it? Will you go?” Chorong asked.

The flower festival was an exhibition where all flower vendors came over to show off their best products. People looking for suppliers of flowers and the public in general could attend, buy flowers or just enjoy the various arrangements.

Seojun went with Chorong and the others. Sujin was there waiting for them.

“Ya Han Seojun! You’re alive!” She lit up when she saw him, punching him in the chest with a brutal force only she had.

“Yah! How could you hurt an idol like that?” Seojun rubbed his chest in pain.

“Oh, sorry. Did I hurt you?”

“Not at all!” Seojun said, “I’m a man. I don’t get hurt.”

“Pfft. Sure.” Sujin grinned.

They went through the various stalls that showcased the various beautiful flowers. The group seemed to have broken off. Chorong was led away by his girlfriend to take some pictures. The boys all banded around a strange, evil looking plant like school children. Seojun and Sujin seemed to have taken a track of their own.

“You don’t want to take pictures?” Seojun asked, pointing at Chorong and his girlfriend who were stopping at every stall.

“I don’t care for that sort of thing. Wae? You want me to take yours?”

“No. We should take on together.”

Seojun took out his phone and pulled Sujin closer, taking a selfie.

“Ya, you can’t even see the flowers.” Sujin complained.

“Yes, you can.” Seojun put a hand to his cheek. “Right here. I’m the flower.”

Sujin’s lip curled in disdain. “Ah, right.” She said dryly. Seojun laughed and she couldn’t help but smile too.

As a regular attendee, Seojun knew most of the repeat vendors there. He took Sujin around, introducing her to the people who knew him and showing her the various flowers he liked. Sujin listened to him go on at length about where the flowers came from and what they meant.

“You know the language of flowers?” Sujin asked, thinking back to the white tulips and the yellow roses he had gotten her way back when.

“Dangyunhaji! Every man should know flowers. How else will you impress the ladies?”

Sujin chuckled. “You know if being an idol doesn’t pan out, you can always be a florist.”

“I’m too pretty to be a florist. The flowers would all wither in shame.”

Sujin patted his head, sarcastically remarking, “Aigoo, our Seojun has suffered so much for being so good looking. It must have been so difficult, living like this.”

It felt nice being with Sujin again. Seojun felt oddly energetic; like he could run a mile and not break a sweat. He babbled about this and that and wondered if Sujin was getting bored. But she never was, she listened and nodded and responded when need be. Time flew by and before he knew it, they had finished going through the festival.

He pulled at the sleeve of her coat, “There’s something else you should see.”

In the back corner, hidden away from the main area were the small level vendors who could only afford the cheaper stalls. It was a street that led away from the festival. Only a couple of people were around.

“These people don’t earn that much because they’re always placed at the back. But they have the best flowers.”

Seojun introduced her to the people that were running the stall, all of whom he knew by name. Some of them gave Sujin flowers for free. She gratefully took them.

The day was almost ending, the slow sunset had begun. A lot petals had been shed. The street with these vendors was covered in these petals, making it look like a path made entirely of flowers.

“This is really beautiful, Seojun-ah.” Sujin said, admiring the street.

“Yeah.” Seojun said, looking at her.

One of the stalls was filled entirely with tulips. Bright yellow owns, pretty pink ones, eccentric multi-colored ones. Seojun pulled out a purple one and gave it to Sujin.

“Here you go, Princess.” Purple tulips represented regality. Sujin smiled.

“Aaand…” Seojun’s picked out a red one. “Here.” He said. Then quickly-— a little too quickly— he added. “Ah-Because it matches your coat.” He pointed at Sujin’s red coat.

Sujin looked at the flower, then back at him. But said nothing.

They strolled over to a bridge that overlooked the entire festival. The descending sun had set everything in a warm glow. The air smelled sweet with all of the flowers. Petals flew in the air.

“Here.” Sujin handed the tulips back to Seojun.

“Why? They’re for you.”

Sujin smiled. “Phabo. You should be giving them to the girl you like. And tell her what they mean when you give them.”

Seojun sighed wistfully, “The girl I like doesn’t know the language of flowers.”

Sujin hit him lightly with the tulips. “I wasn’t talking about Lim Jukyung. Go and like someone else, and bring her here, and give them these.”

“I wasn’t talking about Lim Jukyung either.”

“Mwo-ya. You have someone you like?”

Seojun’s bit his lip. “Yeah. But I’m going to give up.”

“Waaaee? You only just got over Lim Jukyung!”

“Because this girl likes someone else too.”

“Omo, chincha?” Sujin laughed. “Again? Ya, Han Seojun, can’t you choose a better girl to like?”

Seojun gave a sad chuckle. “I know, right?”

“Who is she? Do I know her?”

“Yeah.”

“Who is it? Tell me!”

“Nope. Secret.”

“Ugh, how stingy. At least give me a hint. What does she look like?”

Seojun looked at Sujin, “She’s beautiful. Very beautiful.”

“Ayyy, that’s every girl out there.”

“Well, that’s all the hint I’m giving.”

Sujin punched his arm but relented. It was perhaps better to not know who Seojun liked. Sujin would have been filled with jealousy again and she didn’t want that.

It was curious however, that Seojun found someone he liked, and she didn’t even know. It was curiouser that this new girl had someone she liked too. Just like Sujin, Han Seojun had—

Sujin looked at the tulips in her hand. They stood out among the other flowers the various vendors had given her. Sujin looked at Seojun, who was busy admiring the sunset.

It was strange, but in that moment, she remembered something her teacher had once said.

Some of you don’t know what it is you really want. And some of you do know but you’re hesitant. However, opportunities come without warning and you must be prepared to take advantage of it.

“Han Seojun.”

“Hmm?”

Sujin pointed the flowers at him, tilting her head slightly. Much like he had done a long time ago when he had asked her Do you think I’m handsome?

“Do you like me?”

And just like she had, Seojun answered immediately, with no remorse or regret. “Yes.”

Like the cool girl she was, Sujin didn’t overreact or exclaim in surprise. She only casually said, “I like you too. So, we should date.”

A beat of a pause. One, two three.

“What? What?! WHAT?! You like me? You like me?! Me?! As in, Han Seojun?”

“Yes you, you idiot. Manhi Joahae.”

“What? Ican’tbelievethis. How? Why? Wait, you asked me if I liked you. Did you already know?” Seojun appeared as if his brain had malfunctioned.

Sujin grinned. “You phabo, even if I didn’t know flower language, I could still tell by the red tulip. Ah-nee, red is the universal color for romance. Didn’t you know?”

Seojun’s face was a mixture of wonder, shock and pure happiness. His eyes were wide, cheeks red and pulled up, mouth hanging open in a slow smile. He had no words to speak. He felt like he would explode like a firecracker and light up the sky in sparks.

“You like me? You really like me?”

Sujin closed the distance between them, pulling at the lapel of his coat. She gave him only a chaste peck on his lips before moving back, blushing. “It’s official now. So, no backing out, okay?”

His mind, that was already haywire, went blank.

He pulled Sujin by the waist, pressing her entire form to him and cupped her face with his other hand. The kiss he gave her was intense and she gasped before giving in to him. Sujin felt she could stay like this forever. The kiss only ended because their mouths kept pulling back in an uncontrollable grin.

“You like me?” Seojun asked.

“Yes.”

He kissed her again but they couldn’t stop smiling. Both of them were shaking.

“You like me?” He asked again.

“Yes.” She replied again, chuckling.

And they kissed again.

“You like me?”

“Yes!” She laughed.

And they kissed again. And he asked again, she replied again, and they kissed again and again and again.

 EPILOGUE

When Seojun and Sujin told Jukyung and the others that they were dating, it had been the first of April. So naturally everyone assumed they were joking. Seojun and Sujin hadn’t realized this and were surprised at the luke warm response that everyone gave to their announcement.

“Yes. We believe you.” Suah had said and Sujin missed her sarcastic tone.

when Seojun gushed over Sujin, the group all just looked at each other thinking, Wow, they’re really dedicated to this prank.

And even when they left together, the group all gathered and said;

“You believe them?”

“Why pull a prank that’s so obvious?”

“Exactly! Han Seojun and Kang Sujin? No way.”

Only Suho had been the one to keep his silence and not say anything.

But when they all met up again and Seojun and Sujin acted like a couple again, everyone gasped in shock.

“What?!”

“You guys are actually dating?!”

“How?! How did this happen?”

Only Suho had been the one who wasn’t surprised. “Congratulations. I’m happy for the two of you.” He had said warmly.

“Sujin-ah, what about our affair?” Jukyung said despondently, making a crying face.

“I’ll let you know when Seojunnie goes on tour.” Sujin assured her quietly.

“YAH!” Both Suho and Seojun exclaimed in protest, pulling their girlfriends away from each other.

“Lim Jukyung, you keep your hands off my girlfriend.” Seojun warned.

“I will. But there’s no guarantee she’ll keep her hands off me.”

Chorong and Co. had a similar reaction, they all exploded into shock and happiness at the news. Only Chorong seemed unsurprised.

“So you finally figured out your feelings?” Chorong asked Seojun.

“You knew?”

“Friends know.”

To Sujin, Chorong said, “Sujin-ah, I respect you a lot. But if you hurt—”

“Arasso, arasso. I won’t hurt your precious Han Seojun.”

“I meant don’t hurt me if he ever pisses you off. You scare the shit out of me.”

When enough time had passed and they knew they had to tell their parents, they went to Seojun’s mother first. The woman had been pleasantly surprised by this news and declared Sujin a part of the family immediately. She had met Sujin before and had taken a liking to her immediately but now that she and Seojun were dating, the woman gushed and cried.

“Ah, I have another daughter now.” She said, kissing Sujin on the forehead.

The tricky part was Sujin’s mother, who was still a little pissed over the scandal.

“What will people say if you announce this online?!” The woman had argued.

“But mom,” Sujin made a flower pot with her hands around Seojun’s face, “look at how handsome he is.” And that was enough to entice Mrs. Kang.

Receiving so much happiness and love from everyone was an unfamiliar experience for Sujin. So much so that it terrified her. She felt like she was in a dream that would shatter any minute and she would suddenly wake up back in her old bed with her father banging on the door, screaming at her that she was worthless.

It was this image that jerked Sujin awake in the middle of the night. She sat up straight, her heart was pounding, her hands felt sweaty and clammy. Her father’s shouting was still ringing in her ears.

Seojun stirred on the other side of the bed, “Bad dream?” His rich baritone was husky from sleep but it cut through the darkness of the room and Sujin didn’t feel so scared anymore.

“Um-hmm.”

“Come here.” Seojun patted her side of the bed. She fell back into his arms, nuzzling her nose in his neck.

He sang to her softly, his deep voice soothing her. “Love, love the stars. Love, love the moon. Nothing has really changed. It’s still the same air. With the same bed looking at the same ceiling.”

Sujin’s hands stopped feeling clammy and dirty and soon enough, she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of flowers and sunsets.

 THE END.

A/N: Dear reader, if you stuck till the end and liked what I wrote, then thank you. Saranghae <3

Please have my badly made memes with my sarangs

[creative-classpect]

How badly does a session need a time player? Do you think there would be any nonsensical work arounds?

We are talking fundamental forces here. Everything aside, there is a reason we call it spacetime and in universe call it Paradox Space.

Sburb treats your one and only life as just another life in a video game.

No Time player? No do overs. No respawns. No preparation or planning or learning from your dozens or hundreds of possible alternate timelines. And no Scratch for an emergency escape button.

Oh, and also a much more difficult frog breeding process that would probably get fucked up without them

It’s Hardcore mode in ever sense and you could fail from anything between lack of effort, lack of time, fate itself, or just bad luck

You, your coplayers, and your session have given yourselves to Sburb and Sburb doesn’t care

NOW THAT BEING SAID!!!

Sburb is literally the patrick star meme where its like “the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma” and then you see his thoughts and its just a carton of milk falling over. It’s pretty fucking specific on what it wants and gives 0 fucks about AAAANYTHING else so you DO have some freedom and wiggle room! It’s just that a Time player would have made the best use, but I digress

You can get away with plenty of shit in Sburb (if it decides to let you) so a bunch of competent, talented players with diverse skills and powers can probably make it work for them