#ME WHHEN. ME WHEN

[sunb0ts]

ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to turn everything into a transgender allegory

[katimanki]

Putting characters in outfits is my only talent. 😔

I gave up o coming up with design for his T's, so pretend one of them is some band T or has like star wars logo or something

[halinski]

Ignore me :)

[candy8448]

I hate my mum so much

Whenevrr i wear shorts, she's always looking at me murderously and gives me thhings to cover up, no matter how heavy or bot the thing is because she's afraid men will stare at my legs, even whhen i sit normally she hhas to make me feel like a slut for sitting in a way thhatt showsy legs (the shhorts come up to just above my knees! (when i wear same length skirts or shhorter shhe is fine with it because i look pretty, but otherrwise im showing off my legs to everyone, but she's honestly thhe creepy one because she is constantly staring at my legs and basically telling me how sexual they look

BUT THEN i dont like to shave becauss i enjoy how my unshaven body hair looks but she is always in her murdourous tone of voice tellonge to shhave because it looks disgusting (qhen i tell her to stop calling me ugly, she sayys thag "doesnt look nice" does not mean thhe same thing, whhen it does)

Ive told her so many reasons whhy i like my body hhaor so now everytime she wants me to shave, she recites hher argument for the aame singular point i made because she forgot the rest cuz that is the only one she can counter (it still doesnt make sense)

We are going to a wedding today so she kept telling me to shave, in the shower i was like "fine " and shaved a line and immedietly regretted it but for some stupid reason i kept going and shaved it only from the front, but then i had a breakdown in the shower because how long will that take me to regrow now? when i came back she just forgot about it anyway! After a while she came to examine legs i guess to see if i shaved good enough and i finally broke and screamed at her and shooed her away telling her to stop staring aty legs and being creepy but she pushed throgh to tell me that i didnt shave because i left the back.

Now i just feel disgustinng because why did i let myself get manipulated into changinng how i look in a way that i hate and why did i ever listenn to her annd not fight back earlier, and i hate myself and i hate her and i want to rewinnd time to inside that shower becuasee she never ddeserved me listenning to her anyway and i want it back so badand i hate her so much

[no1totell]

me wh. me whhen. me when i

[princess-emilbee]

me when the whhen th whethhw when

[ssunspotted]

🌺✨️

SUNLIGHT!! Theres so coincidence in the nickname, yeah? You are so bright. And energetic. And so so so full of life. Iits no wonder you have to create, you have so much just pouring out of you, and its amazing. And its so easy to see. Ya skharza nishkat porviin, A hand I always know I can take. Would solve any puzzle with you. For you. I would eat ash every day iif you wanted cook for me I would wait with you to tthe ends of everything. Watch it all rot and start over ,aand it would be only tending a garden.With you

------ ((PRIVATE)) You wouldnt let me shut down. You wouldnt let me close up and curl up and hhha You see me whhen 'what about you ,what about you' gets. Away from me, from being useful or curious or appreciative and when I get compulsive. And you make me have to answer the 'what about you' myself aand I know sometimes I act like a pinned insect And I know some times, OFTEN times, Im stilted. And I know its difficult, some times. But you, I never have towonder if you care. And I want you to feel it back I get so ffucking lonely even surrounded by people beccause I can feel it I can feel what Im not doing enough of not getting done, not fulfilling, And I cant even BEGIN getting out what I mean or what people. Mean. I dont know what wall Im trapped on the other side of But you dont let me scream at walls alone. Allways there. To knock on the door, check in, make sure Im still still letting myself breathe and I am so. SO grateful for you. Constantly. Can you feel it

[fulltimecatwitch]

i can't believe this never ocurred to me before but i finally made some vision boards for my Resistance fic and i think they really capture the vibe of it 😆 anyway, here is a tiny peak into what i imagine when i write the story

Resistance and Coruscant aesthetic:

my concepts for what i think Kaz's childhood home would look like and Hosnian Prime architecture :

Kaz's childhood memories :

Kaz whhen he studied in the navy:

[lasalebete]

m. me when . me whhen

[psiimaid]

he gets my. blood rishing. andn my fingers clench you have no idea how much i nneed need to have him so babdly iiiiiiii pleas eplase please i need to feel his pulse and overactivd heart and hear his cries and screams and hopeless sobs. and whimpers and nasal whines and begging and watch him kickk and writhe when i crack himm open and struggle whhen i pin him dwon i need him so so sos sosnsosnso badly please plames please pleade god if you’re listening i’m on my knees i need The Psiioniic from Homestuck in a size i can squeeze and crackall his fragile bone s and crush him until his gaspeing erratic breathes cease and a model that regenerates well i say model but i need him to be the only one ever ever ever i need him special one of a kind and shaki ng and eyes wet and he’s sossososo scared i need him to be real with warm flesh and wiggling toes and to look at me with with sentience behind his blank eyes and i need him to know and i want him i need him i need him to be piss his pants terrifyied of me but also kind of love me do you follow but it’s okay i don’t care as long as i have him please i need him pinned to my desk like jesus on the cross open and awake with tears streaming down his face while i spend half an hour unraveling his small intestine and puncturing each of his vital organs also maybe taste him a little please i want to feel him burst under my teeth i want to slam his skull split opn on hard concrete but it’s okay bc i’ll clena him up and make sure he smells nice and clean and bundle him up in a suffocating ball of blankets so i can can wrap around him at night and squeeze him with my whole body and i want to be able to take him wit me anywhere should i desire to do so and have himas my stress ball i watch his eyes bulge when a clamp down and hsi huge heaving breaths and twitches when i ease off only for me to crush him harder plelaepleasepleasepleaseplease i need this i need him clamped open w his teeth gritted but absolutely unable to control himself when i sprinkle salt into his open chest cavity i want to peel the muscles from his limbs like string cheese and tie him into knots hang him upside down until he passes out then revive him and do it again i want to shave him bare and shivering i i need him to feel ashamed like a dog i need to break him down again and again and again i want to pump his full of air seal his lips shut and slam my fist onto his stomach i need all this and everything i’ve ever said about him before i need this so bad you don’t understand PLEASEpleasepleaslpels please god his absence is the source of the emptiness i feel i can ignore it mostly but now i can’t help thinking about it every day and it’s so saddening that i’ll never be able to have this i’ll never be able to sear him against a burning hit frying pan i’ll never be able carve pretty designs into his skin i’ll never be able to rip him open or crush him with the force if a trash compactor i’ve never wanted anything more than this please please please either have him delivered to my door neatly packaged by tuesday or else remove this longing from my bones

[pigeonedlilac]

your fake event sounds amazing!! if you don’t mind me asking, could you share more about it?? the cards r super cool im dying to know the context

I DIDNT SEE THIS OMG THIS IS WHAT I MEAN WHHEN I SAY I CANT OPERATE TUMBLR IM VERY VERY SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO IGNORE THIS ASK!!

ANYWAYS THANK YOU I WOULD LOVE TO!! I can’t say there was TOO much thought out into it so this is gonna be a huge ramble that doesn’t make much sense but I will happily oblige ( ´▽｀) For the bloomed cards obviously they don’t have much to do with the story. I just wanted an artist/photographer set between them bc I think it’s a cute idea !!

I’ve wanted a fine ryuseitai event for the longest time bc Yuzuru’s friendship with ryuseitai never leaves my mind,, in jingle bells he says he had fun hanging out with them and he enjoyed the hero show in supernova :D basically I only care about the most niche and silly interactions in this game. the opposite of how it was meant to be enjoyed but it’s the secret to being filled with joyful glee. ANYWAYS I thought a variety show for the starpro idols that has unlimited potential by means of the Tenshouin fund could be fun. Yuzuru obviously doesn’t like a ton of attention and is just there to support Tori and get it done with (I mean. Maybe there’s like some kind of fighting/laser tag round he gets really into but for the most part he still sees himself as the least deserving of attention in fine and doesn’t make any scenes). However, in the starpro trivia section of the show, Midori keeps answering question after question right about yuzuru/fine (bc I feel like he might know that little trivia) which either picks up attention with the fans who question what is going on (if the show is live) or eichi + wataru notice and like to impose mischievous little plans on yuzuru. I think that either way through the powers of being in charge of the direction of the show those two get midoyuzu paired up for a ton of the games (I considered making one of the cards a pictionary game and ended up deciding against it but I still think it’d be silly). When drawing the last unbloomed, I had in mind them getting matched up for a lie detector game where they get to ask each other questions/the audience gets to send in questions. I didn’t think too much about what happened afterwards to be completely honest with you but it’d probably get yuzuru really flustered being 1. The center of attention 2. Target of whatever Midori wants to ask and 3. Having to actually be completely and utterly honest. And he’s just begging him to ask normal easy questions which midori obliges bc he doesn’t like all this attention either but then some crazy audience question comes in and then the rest is up to imagination bc I don’t want to end up mischaracterizing them or looking more delusional than I already have in this public post! but it would definitely end with them revealing/admitting something to each other that brings them closer together :>>

sorry to make you read all that but also the starpro variety show is all i ever want ,, PLUS it could be so much fun outside of my mdyz visions too. Imagine chiakana in teamwork minigames OR TRICKSTAR hokke calls them all idiots but he’s the one that keeps making them lose all the games. Alkaloid in literally anything. I think we should talk about this more

ok this is the first time my fanatical whimsical ass has wrote this much from my brain but I hope you see the vision! Thank you for letting me talk about it more!!!! :D

[mute-call]

me when whhen,,, me when other ppl give steven the encouragement he gives ppl in the tapes,,,,,fmgn...,dmfnbg,,,,,

[foxymoxynoona]

It’s interesting to see how both Sasha and Jk have had similar thoughts of not being loved by the other person as much as they love them .. I wonder if that’s gonna come up later on too. Great chapter foxy :) can’t wait for more

I went to an incredible seminar my first year of college eons ago that was about relationships and sex. This guy was the creator of the book the movie Hitch was based on! Anyway one thing he talked about was power dynamics in a relationships, and how iif there's an imbalance of committment in a relationship, the person who is more in love/committed will feel like they have less power, that the other person has all the power. This is a theme in negotiations as well! Whoever seems like they can walk away has the power to do so, while the other person is more afraid of losing out, more willing to compromise and protect, etc. So in an ideal relationship, both partners feel equally loving/loved, committed/committed to, willing to compromise/work together.

That idea has always lingered with me, even through years of counseling with my husband too. Even whhen it's true, the person who feels least loved perceives themself as having less power/importance/sway in the relationship.

So it's definitely something I toy with in my writing. When someone is feeling like the other person doesn't love them as much, it's a good signal that they are feeling powerless or unheard or unrecognized. It may not actually be true, but it feels true.

[halinski]

.

[acrossthewavesoftime]

Because nobody has added any concrete historical instances of this happening, here are some excerpts from the letters exchanged between Mary II and Sophie von Hannover, a relative somewhat older than her in whom Mary confided many of her most private thoughts and feelings, especially when her husband, William III, was at war on the continent:

Mary to the Electress Sophie, Kensington, 12/2 June 1690. My cousin. Though I make use at present of the return of Mr Schütz [a courtier at Sophie's court] to write to you, I hope you will do me the justice to belie that I should not have neglected responding to your obliging letter of the 7th/17th of the last month any longer. If something I have said is of some consolation, I assure you that I have much need of such myself, the King being on his departure. I cannot boast possessing any fortitude of spirit, but I see that one gets used to afflictions. I have had those so long that they are not new to me; this current one, however, appears to me to be still greater. You may well judge that I have all the reason in the world to be in agony for a husband and dare I say such a husband, i am yet a daughter and do not know what wishes I must make for a father.

Mary to the Electress Sophie, Whitehall, 23rd/13th October 1691. From Whitehall, this 23rd/13th October 1691. My cousin. I am in the last anger against myself to see that I have had two of your letters to which I have not yet responded, and especially since I found out from one of the two that this is not the first time that I have been pained by my negligence, but you have so much consideration for me that I hope you will excuse it once more. I admit that when the King is not here, I am so overwhelmed among affairs, to which I am not at all suited, and the worry I have for him whhen he is exposed to all the mishaps that could befall him at war, that often, I forget myself and do not that which I should, to the discontent of my best friends.

Mary to the Electress Sophie, Kensington, 26th January 1692. From Kensington this 26th January 1692. My cousin. I certainly do not deserve the obliging letters you sent me, for it takes me so long to respond to them.

Mary to the Electress Sophie, Whitehall, 1st July/21st June 1692. From Whitehall, this 1st July/21st June 1692. My cousin. I always have the misfortune to appear negligent towards you, and this is presently at such a point that I don't know where to begin my letter, having one from you which, though without date, I see very well that it was written too long ago to not have received a response yet. I don't know myself why I don't make any more excuses at all, but I beg you nevertheless to do me the justice of beliving that there were many things that contributed to this fault, a bad cold, many affairs, a month in continous fears for a battle in Flanders (which god has not yet permitted).

And here, in English.

TL; DR: There you have it. Sometimes, people take time to write back because:

being Queen is hard (their job that they don't like is very stressful)

they are exhausted and worried because the King, who is "such a husband" is away to do battle against some other, less worthy king (they miss their partner/someone else in their life and struggle with that)

the less worthy king the valiant husband-king is fighting is also their dad (they have struggles in their family/private life)

they were busy

they had a bad cold (or other illness)

they just don't currently have the mental energy to reply.

In all seriousness, I can recommend reading Mary's letters to Sophie. It is evident how much Mary emotionally relied on Sophie, and how liberating it was to her that, instead of expressing annoyance, Sophie realised that Mary was not doing well and thus decided to simply not date her letters, to make it easier for Mary to reply whenever she felt up to it. As this is their private correspondence, it hightlights the personal relationship between these two women, who never met in person - they only ever knew each other through letters, and remained pen-pals, so to speak, until Mary's death.

Do you think people used to have ADHD Text Reply Anxiety back in the day. Do you think there was some girl in the 1870s going "Oh, a letter from Esther, how delightful! I must make time to write her a reply this evening!" And then later she was like "It has been 5 months since Esther wrote me, and I am yet to reply. I fear I have tarried far too long, and if she receives a letter from me now it will seem terribly rude and she will want nothing to do with me. And yet, it is ruder still to not write her at all! I fear I am the only one to blame for my current predicament, as I am most terribly forgetful. Ah, but what a fool I am! I shall pray this evening for guidance from the Lord"

[sketchguk]

Thank you so much for reading my scenarios! It makes me so happy to share and hear your response 🩵

Honestly yeah I have no idea how couples don't feel jaded?? I think the couples who don't have that problem are really good friends. They don't mind the romantic part reducing because they still like the friendship. With my relationship, when it started becoming flat, I had nothing else 😔 I don't think any of my friends have long relationships too , like they break up or even if they're together I don't like their bf's 😭 mmm that line you said Cohabitating or Coexisting, what does that mean?

I'll send a different ask about the fic so you can answer separately! - 🎈

Of course !! I love reading your scenarios 💛💛

!!!! You are SO right about friendship being the basis of a good relationship. I just talked to myself in the mirror for 10 minutes as if I was on a podcast ���� because this is such a valid point, and I relate so hard LOL. Truly, relationships that last are partners who consider one another their best friends. I've never crushed on anyone I haven't befriended first (friends to lovers supremacy)

On top of that, being consistent in any relationship (both romantic and platonic) is sooo necessary. I feel as if without the consistency, a lot of friendships and relationships fizzle out :-( at least in my experience

I also have beef with most of my friend's boyfriends LOL. I think there's only one I'm genuinely chill with 😭 but I am very hard to impress whhen it comes to men because my standards are too high

The thing about "coexisting, but not existing together" refers to people (familial or romantic) who simply live together in the same home. However, their lives aren't intertwined. They might not have a typical, happy home where everyone converses with one another, enjoys cooking together, have bonding experiences, etc. It would feel more like a roommate situation where they're not close at all. That's also how I imagine couples who fall out of love with one another 😭

Can't wait to read more about your fic in the next message!