#MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU ( headcanons* )
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tenderjock · 7 months ago
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Cody's just about to drift off, warm and a little sticky, when his comm chirps. He considers ignoring it even as he rolls over in the bunk, fumbling one-handed for the buzzing device.
It's nothing urgent - a partial conversation between Wolffe and Bly that he's being looped in on, rather unnecessarily in his opinion.
cc-3636 just because youve got a Fucking Boner for your jedi cc-3636 speaking of havent heard from codes since his new assignment cc-5052 oh yea cc-5052 hey cc-2224 hows your new general
He gets halfway through typing He's decent enough when Kenobi wakes up and drapes himself over Cody's shoulder, chest hair rubbing pleasantly across his bare back.
"I only rate decent?" his general murmurs, amusement curling in his voice. He looks thoroughly indecent, mouth red and bruised, hair mussed, hickeys dotting his throat.
Cody deletes it and sends He's acceptable instead.
Kenobi laughs. "Come back to sleep, my dear," he says, snuggling his nose into Cody's neck. Without bothering to open Wolffe's message - that bad huh ? - Cody allows himself to be rolled over and tucked against his general's front.
He'll deal with the command crew later. Right now they've got four hours before they need to be Marshal Commander or High General of anything, and Cody's all set to spend it sleeping in the arms of a beautiful, terrible, wondrous man.
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demigods-posts · 8 months ago
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i've been thinking about that scene in ep 3 when annabeth apologizes to percy before pushing him into the lake. and on the surface, it seems like she's apologizing in advance for her actions. but what if she's actually expressing sympathy toward percy for how his life will change once his father claims him? once he has to suffer through the same torment as thalia did? once he becomes the outcast amongst the group of demigods who understand his struggles but will do little to help him through it?
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seasideoranges · 4 months ago
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despite everything i love how so many just agree that sokka, zuko and suki are bisexual. no questions asked, no arguments needed, just one look at them and its an immediate “oh yeah, they’re bisexual, anyways-“
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fandomnerd9602 · 6 months ago
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Rey Skywalker: Random Relationship Headcanons
You’re her first love. And the two of you are devoted to a fault.
She was totally right touch starved when you met.
When your hands first touched, Rey knew she couldn’t get enough.
Expect plenty of kisses. Random places and random times.
“What was that for?” You’d ask her. “Just because” she’d answer back with a giggle.
She jumps on your back and nuzzles you.
She loves it here you kiss her hands, knuckles, neck, etc.
Giggles escape her lips every time you kiss her on any place beside her lips.
You once told her if you could, you’d kiss every square inch of her body. She dragged you off somewhere private so you could.
When you’re home with her, she loves taking showers with you. She loves it when you gently glide the lathered up washcloth across her skin.
She loves to comb your hair and she loves it when you comb hers.
She’s a fierce warrior on the streets but at home, she’s a cuddly housewife.
Rey definitely wants kids some day. She never gave you a definite number, all you know is that it’s a big number.
She loves sleeping in your arms. Not just in bed, but also for naps on the couch.
She loves it when you caress her during love making. She loves staring into your eyes and letting you know that she loves you just as much as you love her.
You are the family to her that she wished she had growing up.
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For @multi-fandom-enjoyer
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obsessivefreakandpartners · 10 months ago
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I headcanon that force ghost Anakin looks at force ghost Obi wan with a smile all the time. He will never stop being grateful for everything he's done for him from life to death, despite his mistakes. He not only realizes now how much Obi wan loves him but that he loves him that much too.
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sinvulkt-art · 5 months ago
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The Dark Wyrm
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Here is my gift to MillionLights on ao3, as part of the Vaderkin creative exchange 2024 organised by @vaderkin-is-a-lightning-rod
Once I’ve read your prompt, the picture wouldn’t leave my head, so here it is!
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ynscrazylife · 6 months ago
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han solo meeting mechanic!reader hcs
(in honor of it being may the fourth)
The Millenium Falcon is facing problems that not even Chewbacca can handle, being: old age. Usage. The ship is in need of a few new parts. Han is insistent that he can pilot just fine, but when the engine nearly craps out on them for the third time, Chewbacca refuses to let this go on. Han has to get new parts.
He searches around to find a highly skilled mechanic and he ends up walking into your place, where you sell parts and also fix ships, droids, whatever falls into your lap.
Han is upfront with what he needs, wasting no time. “Do you have it or not?” He asks you, already annoyed because travelling your planet burned up a lot of fuel.
You do not take kindly to his attitude and are quick to match wits with him. “I do, for a price. You got the money or not?” You respond with.
Han’s not used to this. It annoys him. And intrigues him. He dumps a bag of money on your desk and, after you inspect it, you give him a cheeky smile and skip off to get the parts.
Han’s first feelings of affection for you arrive when he sees you trying to find the right parts. You sit right next to the Millenium Falcon, tons of different parts at your side. You have this concentrated look on your face, eyebrows and nose scrunched up, that he finds amusing.
But, it’s taking a while. Han leans against his ship, tapping his foot. “You gonna be done this year, at least?” He asks.
The glare you give him almost has him laughing — with you, not at you, he promises. “Do you want your ship to keep working or not?” You retort.
He shuts up, content to keep on watching you. When you find the right parts, you install them. This, Han finds, is a sight to behold. You’re hot, there’s no denying it.
When you finish, you stand up, grease on your hands and forehead.
“Our business is done here, Mr. Solo,” you tell him.
“Now, what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you walk around with that?” He says, smirking as he steps forward and uses his thumb to wipe the grease off.
This has you blushing a bit, which he takes pride in. He thanks you for his service and goes to board the Millenium Falcon, but hesitates.
Han turns around and asks you out. Right then and there.
He’s definitely been a handful to deal with, but you found you liked dealing with him. Once you got past your frustration. So, you accept.
You become Han’s new favorite mechanic.
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quietlyblooms · 2 months ago
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memories that linger | love and deepspace
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there's always been something pushing against you. and not in the metaphorical, woe is you sort of way, but in the way that... well, you can't quite put your finger on it. there's nothing metaphorical about it, you think, but anyone else would swear it's just your luck. you believe that, too, when you aren't so displeased with the way things are going. there is something that tries to force your hand, change the choices you want to make.
you realize that sounds crazy. that's why you keep it to yourself.
you've stopped resisting the push so much these days. you feel it like a hand upon your back, urging you forward and into the hunter association's ranks despite your dream of publishing your manga. it feels simultaneously wonderfully right and terribly wrong, though the development of certain events quickly steals your attention away from that invisible hand. you want answers. you need them, and you'll march in whichever direction that leads you to them.
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additional details
in this verse, i'm writing chiyo as the mc and toying with the concept of past lives like the game does, though i may also sprinkle in a little itty bitty bit of fourth wall stuff -- like chiyo having the thought, " this is like a game, and someone else is making my choices. " as a treat <3
but the focus will be more on fate bc chiyo really hates it as a concept, and that's so much fun to write in this setting :' )
when interacting with other mc's, we can decide if we'd like our characters to just so happen to be in the same boat, having grown up with grandma and caleb, etc. if not, i have no problem writing chiyo in her main verse! there's plenty to work with either way and i'm happy to adapt!
bc chiyo's parents and grandmother play such important roles in her development, they're alive and well until wanderers kill them during chiyo's freshman year of high school. this event leads to josephine taking her in. she was a friend of the family and as good as a second grandmother to chiyo.
i'll likely think to add more when i'm not sleep-deprived and as i progress in the story, but if you have any questions, just let me know <3
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anithenerd · 2 months ago
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frothing at the mouth imagining a reunion scene between Ody and Athena like:
Athena: You called my name.*
Odysseus: You came.**
(Hadestown ref)
*(you were at the end of your rope and since our last meeting (which ended badly) you have met a god who has helped you at seemingly no cost (coughHermescough) but you asked for help for the first time in however long and it was me who you called for)
**(not personally because of the lightning bolt damage (which I may or may not know about at this point) but there was practically zero chance of anyone else interfering unless it was to mess with me more so it must have been you (it was))
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ofbardsandmen · 2 months ago
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greetings fellow genshin enthusiasts and fanatics!! once again, i'm generously presenting and offering my most beloved mondstadt character spotify playlists, free of charge and yours to consume, if you will.
#the playlists are‚ unfortunately‚ still a trilogy‚ due to me being unable to complete the one i dedicated to albedo#i doubt i'll ever release it into the void unless i happen to develop an albedo brainrot strong enough to force me into creation again#as for these 3 playlists – PLEASE DO SCROLL THROUGH THEM !!#because i dO admit most of the songs at the beginning of each of them are rather typical and expected to be there due to their popularity#and thus‚ the playlists may look like any other overplayed (and rather incorrect and character inaccurate) ones at first sight#which isn't the case‚ because i do believe‚ or rather like to think‚ that i know my favorite characters better than many (if not all)#but then again‚ it's most likely just me being delusional#but i digress-#i tried making them as character and lore accurate as i could‚ lyric and vibe-wise‚ and i can say that i'm rather pleased with them#still‚ some songs are definitely my oddly specific personal touches that directly align with personal headcanons or scenes from various fic#i could elaborate on all of them individually‚ but i'll willingly hesitate and abstain‚ for everyone's sake#(do ask if you're curious‚ tho‚ at your own risk)#the venti playlist turned out to be my favorite of the 3‚ even if i was most dissatisfied with it at the beginning#most thought was definitely put into kaeya's one‚ while diluc's somehow came together along the way and (mostly) spontaneously#i do add songs to these playlists occasionally‚ whenever i come across some that i deem fitting for the collection#so if you decide to save or listen to any of these‚ definitely check them out from time to time for new musical gems#and DEFINITELY do not hesitate to recommend some songs for them‚ even if they'll have to go through my personal evaluation process first#kaeya#kaeya alberich#diluc#diluc ragnvindr#venti#barbatos#genshin impact#genshin brainrot#genshin headcanon#genshin playlist#spotify#wilhelminaesque#Spotify
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raimagnolia · 10 months ago
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Olrox x Mizrak
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tenderjock · 7 months ago
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in the middle before I knew that I had begun; [not a happy codywan ficlet]
In the Jedi teaching, attachment is forbidden. Love is – a separate issue, obviously, as love can take many forms. When Cody and I were – what I mean is, I was –
You realized that you were in love with him and panicked.
: :
Obi-Wan is finishing the dregs of his second Daruvvian champagne cocktail when Breha inhales, sharp.
“Hmm?” he turns to her. His head is pleasantly fuzzy, but he’s far from nonfunctional. “My dear, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she’s quick to reassure him. There’s something strained around her eyes. He turns to see what she had been looking at, and she puts an insistent hand on his arm. “No, Obi-Wan –”
He doesn’t immediately see whatever caused Breha such stress; instead, Obi-Wan’s eyes go to Cody, sharply dressed in his greys across the ballroom. He’s talking to the Ghayyn’i ambassador, a handsome man with wide green eyes. The ambassador is tall enough that Cody has to look up to meet his gaze. Obi-Wan opens his mouth to comment, rather snarkily, on that fact, when the ambassador brushes gentle, sensual fingers across Cody’s chest.
Obi-Wan waits for Cody to move away. He doesn’t. Instead, he smiles, a little knowing quirk of the lips.
“Oh,” he says, feeling rather as though the wind has been knocked out of him. “Oh.” He quickly looks away. Cody is a very private person, and it feels wrong to have seen something so clearly intimate.
“Obi-Wan,” Breha says, and her face is sad. Obi-Wan doesn’t know why it’s sad. Nothing bad has happened. He clears his throat, thinking one of the sweet-pickle cherries in his drink must have caught there. Unbidden, his gaze is drawn back to Cody and the – the ambassador, who is now laughing at something Cody said.
It’s fine. It’s beyond fine – it’s wonderful, that people recognize Cody for the brilliant man that he is, Obi-Wan explains, three cocktails later, eyes closed with his head in Bail’s lap. Bail makes a noncommittal noise.
“People other than his command,” he clarifies. “And his fellow commanders. And, ah. Me.” His voice is very rough on the last word. These sugary drinks are really hell on the throat, he thinks.
“Of course, love,” Breha says soothingly. Her hand cards through his hair. It feels pleasant. Cody does the same, when they’re lying in Obi-Wan’s bunk together after a long day.
Obi-Wan opens his eyes, letting them stare unfocused somewhere near the floor. Breha is really wearing the most ridiculous shoes, and he’s thinking he should tell her that when a pair of GAR-issued boots come to a crisp halt just in his line of sight.
“General,” Cody says. Obi-Wan nearly falls out of Bail’s lap in his effort to sit up quickly.
“Commander!” he says, helpless to how warm he sounds. Cody had looked good when they left the ship, all buttoned up in his uniform, but he looks better now. He’s holding his cap in his hand, letting Obi-Wan see his short curls, and the top clasp of his jacket is undone.
Obi-Wan squints. Is that a lovebite on his neck?
Before he can dwell on that, Cody says, “We should get you back to the Temple, sir.”
Obi-Wan considers that. He’s fine where he is, except that when he attempts to lay back down in Bail’s lap, both Bail and Breha push him back up.
“That’s a good idea,” Bail says, firm but kind. How he adores the man. “I can arrange for an air taxi – Commander, are you alright to see him back?” There’s something uncertain in Bail’s voice. Obi-Wan doesn’t know why; it’s Cody. Of course they’ll see each other back.
Cody just looks at him. In this light, his eyes are dark honey.
“I’ll get you home, boss,” he says after a beat. Obi-Wan blinks at him, lips parted. He suddenly feels the alcohol very much, everything loose and golden and a little bit sweaty. Cody’s lips twitch. “C’mon, then.”
Cody manhandles Obi-Wan to his feet. Obi-Wan tucks his face into Cody’s shoulder as best he can while also moving his limbs in the direction of the taxi Bail is calling them. Cody, wonderful steady dependable Cody, keeps him going, a hand at his waist and another under his armpit.
“The ambassador,” Obi-Wan manages after a few steps. Cody hums.
“He had to leave,” Cody says. “There was an afterparty. He asked –” he cuts himself off, then continues: “I’d rather stay here, honestly.”
Obi-Wan nuzzles the starched fabric of his shirt. Wonderful man, he thinks.
The taxi ride lurches unpleasantly. Obi-Wan is distracted by the task of not spewing the contents of his stomach all over his commander. They get to the Temple without incident, and make it to Obi-Wan’s rooms with no one other than Yoda – who cackles – seeing them.
Cody puts Obi-Wan down in his bed. Obi-Wan tugs him in after.
He catches himself above Obi-Wan, arms bracketing Obi-Wan’s head. Cody huffs a bit of laughter and dips down to brush a kiss over his forehead. Obi-Wan cranes up, chasing his lips.
“Not now, sir,” Cody says, chiding. He kneels at the side of the bed to take off Obi-Wan’s boots. When he’s done, he leans back up, brushing the hair out of Obi-Wan’s face.
Obi-Wan beams at him, feeling unbearably fond. His Cody. His darling. Always looking after him.
Cody’s face is very still, just a few inches above his. Obi-Wan reaches out, touches his scar.
“What are you thinking?” he wonders. Cody shakes his head.
“It’s nothing.” He kisses Obi-Wan’s forehead again. “Get some rest, General.”
Obi-Wan exhales, eyes fluttering closed. He tracks Cody’s movement, straightening his jacket, turning the lights off, slipping out the door. His familiar Force presence is warm sunlight and hot caf, thrilling and comfortable in equal measure.
As the door clicks closed, Obi-Wan murmurs sleepily to himself, “Love you, my darling.”
: :
When he wakes up, head pounding and mouth dry, Obi-Wan remembers what he said. He’s the only one that heard it; it would have been easier to forget.
This complicates things.
Somehow, they go a fortnight, ending their leave and starting a mission, without Obi-Wan saying anything. He’s just – waiting for the right moment, a moment when they aren’t dogged by war and flimsiwork, when he can talk to Cody calmly and reasonably.
Or does he even need to talk to Cody? He was drunk. Everyone says things they don’t mean when they’re drunk. Teenage drunken Anakin once told Obi-Wan he wished he had been born a jellysquash, as they have no feelings and don’t know enough to care.
Cody is leading a squad on Im-Onh-Augulu’s surface when comms cut out. It’s a tense three-quarter hour before they reestablish communications.
“Arrow squad to Vigilance,” Corporal Hart is saying. “Vigilance, do you copy?”
“Copy,” Gregor says, shooting Obi-Wan a look. Cody should be the one contacting them and they both very well know it. “Arrow, sitrep, over.”
“Is General Kenobi there, Captain?” the corporal says. “Over.”
Obi-Wan’s heart is in his throat. “I’m listening, Hart, over,” he says. Under the sleeves of his robes, he’s clenching his wrists hard enough to bruise.
“They captured the commander, sir,” Hart says, desperately blunt. “When they recognized him, they took him and left the rest of us. Said they’re going to use him for negotiations. Over.”
Gregor looks at him. Appalment-sympathy-secondhand-embarrassment-stress is radiating off not just him, but also every clone trooper and officer on the bridge.
Use him for negotiations. Because Cody was a Marshal Commander of the Grand Army of the Republic. Because he was Obi-Wan’s right hand man. Because Obi-Wan loved him, dearly, and would do near about anything to get him back, a fact which was apparently obvious to everyone except for him.
“Understood,” Obi-Wan says, feeling like his mouth is very far away from his body. “Regroup at the drop point; we’ll be sending a secondary team to that location for extraction.” He’s quiet for a second, nails biting into skin. “May the Force be with you. Over.”
: :
Obi-Wan is the one leading the extraction team, and Obi-Wan is the one to find Cody. He’s in bad shape.
“Didn’t –” Cody slurs out. His eyes can’t seem to focus. “Didn’t tell – ah – them kriff, sir.”
Obi-Wan stares at him, heart pounding in his chest. At his commander – at Cody, telling him that he didn’t fucking talk, when he was being fucking tortured because of Obi-Wan –
“I know,” he says, finally, blinking. He touches the pads of his fingers to Cody’s left eye. “I know you didn’t.” Obi-Wan leaves off the my dear at the end of that sentence, because it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like he deserves it. He slings an arm around Cody and hauls him to his feet, instead. “Right this way, Commander.”
Not just his commander. The man he loves.
That thought beats around Obi-Wan’s head for almost a day before he can reconcile it with the heavy feeling in his gut. The man he loves. And he doesn’t – he can’t – it doesn’t mean –
His chest hurts.
Cody doesn’t –
It can’t be so kriffing serious that he can’t think the words. It’s not. It’s not –
Cody doesn’t love him. How could he? How could his beautiful, brave, resilient, kind Commander Cody, who isn’t really his at all – how could he love Obi-Wan? And if he did – if he had some incredible lapse in judgement that allowed him to – to – Cody would have said something, his brutally levelheaded Cody who wasn’t afraid of anything, let alone Obi-Wan and his feelings –
So, no. Cody didn’t love him. That shouldn’t make Obi-Wan feel like his ribcage was being split in two.
And if Cody doesn’t love him, then that means it isn’t wrong for Obi-Wan to – kiss him, soft and warm, and press his cold nose to the back of Cody’s neck, and hold him, and –
It can’t be wrong, can it? It can’t be wrong. It hurts no one. He knows possession is against the Jedi code, but this isn’t possession, because Cody isn’t his, and Cody doesn’t love him, and –
Obi-Wan feels ill.
Cody remains in bacta for three days. Obi-Wan finishes his flimsiwork, then finishes Cody’s flimsiwork, then works on some of Gregor’s flimsiwork. He arranges the battle plans for their next two attacks. He oversees the writing of some new training protocols, something about not letting shinies have access to oxygen tanks. He scrubs his quarters, stem to stern, twice.
Eventually, Cody wakes up. And like a flutterbug drawn to flame, Obi-Wan goes to him.
: :
“We need to stop,” Obi-Wan says. He’s not looking at Cody. It’s the day after the commander’s been released by the medics, and he came to Obi-Wan’s quarters to get the datapads Obi-Wan had borrowed when he was doing all the flimsiwork he could get his hands on.
“… Stop?” Cody asks. His brow is furrowed. Obi-Wan aches to smooth it out.
“This,” Obi-Wan starts, and stumbles. “Our – us. What we have. We need to stop.”
He expects Cody to argue. He expects Cody to demand an explanation. He doesn’t expect Cody to take a slow, deep breath and say, “Of course, sir. If you think it’s best.”
Obi-Wan feels like his chest has caved in. He can’t speak.
“Anything else, sir?” Cody asks. Obi-Wan shakes his head, blinking hard.
Cody stands there at parade rest for a long moment before Obi-Wan realizes he’s waiting for a dismissal. He clears his throat. “Ah, no, Commander. That’s all.”
Cody salutes crisply – salutes – and about-faces to the door. When it clicks shut behind him, Obi-Wan lets out a single hideous, strangled sob. He buries his face in his hands.
Well. At least it looks like they won’t have to dance around each other awkwardly for much longer, he thinks to himself. The war looks to be over soon. Obi-Wan sniffs, straightens himself up, and pulls up the plans for the invasion of Utapau.
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rinline · 1 year ago
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ok. so. i had an idea where Mace Windu survives the fall from Emperor Palpatine and then decides to go underground to create a new order of force wielders, made up of force sensitive children and vulnerable people, that are then isolated from the galaxy during the sequels and original trilogy.
SO WHAT HAPPENS IS when like the sequels are done you get random powerful force wielders wearing cloaks or face coverings or tattoos idk showing up and helping communities and towns from strife and then disappearing.
Maybe at first the galaxy thinks it’s like one or two that can like teleport or some shit, but then you later find out that it’s a bunch of different people.
One day some of these force wielders are helping a town and stuff goes sideways. they get in a fight. the’re fighting a mandalorian or some guy with beskar, they pull out a lightsaber.
it’s purple.
Mace Windu has created a (kinda cult-y) isolated force community that have an equal balance between light and dark.
Here what i’m thinking about the community:
It’s almost completely self sufficient, and children are highly educated in the force, diplomacy, engineering, biology, agriculture, etc. even if they plan on being like a farmer or running their parents shop.
then when the force wielders reach a certain age (maybe like around 18/19) a group of three are put together (one dark leaning, one light leaning, one grey leaning) and are tasked with going out and seeing the galaxy for like 6 months to two years
They have to use the force as minimally as they can and really only when their lives are in danger. They can’t tell anyone about their home, where it is or what it’s made up of.
If they find a orphan child with the force they can bring them back but they can’t tell the child where their going or more info about force wielders. Then when they return, they’ve done a right of passage and they get like a tattoo or a branding (again kinda culty)
I’m also thinking like the ruling council is made up of three different trios of force wielders (trios would be made up of one grey, one light, one dark) and then votes have to be cast not individually but by the groups (ex. one trio votes yes, two trios vote no) and if a trio can’t agree on a choice their vote is abstained.
idk i wish they could do this cause then they can bring in Samuel L Jackson as old mace windu make it’s a show or a movie trilogy i don’t care
just make it plz
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Note
Hi do you write for star wars? If so what star wars media do you write :)
Yes, I can write for Star Wars! Here is a list of the stuff I've seen :3
1. The Prequel, Original, and Sequel Trilogies
2. The Clone Wars (TV series and movie)
3. Rebels
4. The Mandalorian
5. The Book of Boba Fett
6. Obi-Wan Kenobi series
7. Andor
8. Jedi: Fallen Order and Jedi: Survivor
9. The High Republic era
10. Comics and Novels (I haven't read all of them so be warned that theyre not all good)
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brutalmasks · 3 months ago
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here's your daily reminder that bunny mask does, in fact, 'feed' by sharing people's energy with herself through physical contact. so, all i have to say is, if your muse allows bunny to make a connection with them like that — then she may or may not be proposing to them okok ( LMAO, nah, i'm just kidding. but i think at some point in her relationship with tyler, bunny told him about this. and thus... if your muse is also in romantic ship with her, then she will likely do the same thing 👀 so there's just a little fun tidbit for y'all tehe )
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mad-hunts · 7 months ago
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11. what would your muse consider their worst failing?
hello, @absensia, and happy sunday! thank you so much for the ask :D i just want y'all know that i appreciate every single one of these!! but alright, well... to tell you why barton views this particular thing as being his worst failing, i'm going to have to give you some backstory first. so please bear with me while i explain! so, as you may or may not know, barton currently has four kids. two of which are biologically related to him and the other two being adopted. though, back whenever he was first starting off as the dollmaker, barton actually had five kids. and this fifth child he had was named julien.
julien was different from the rest of his siblings, like jack is, in the way that he seemed to have experienced some form of trauma before barton had even adopted him that caused him to be very sensitive in relation to other people's emotions and actually made him act a bit jumpy. but this didn't change the fact that julien was kind of affectionately regarded as ' the best of all of them ' by barton's other kids whenever he was still around; and that was because julien would often try to protect his siblings, even in situations where he could get severely hurt, and he seemed to have this sort - of mellowing affect on barton because of just how likeable of a person he was.
the best way that i could describe what made him so special is that he was SUCH a good listener and had a way of making people feel welcome around him, which may be a bit surprising to hear considering the often dark + terribly gory reputation of the mathis family, but julien also really didn't like what he had to do while he was a part of their family sometimes. so you can imagine that whenever barton lost him to someone as sadistic as the joker... he was beyond devastated. not only because julien was like a figure of light in a family that could be the epitome of overwhelming despair, but because barton was the one who told him to go assist the joker with one of his ' schemes, ' as the man had contracted his help to do a rather grisly act to him — which would be to cut off his face — and julien had never come back from that meeting with him.
and although one could make the argument that barton couldn't have possibly known that that would happen, especially considering that he didn't know the full extent of just how bad the joker was at the time, he still very much blames himself for it. because barton believed that he should've known better in the end and gone there himself instead of treating this job like it'd be like any other one that they'd done, when it really wasn't. now just to give you some more context before i go on; if there's one thing you should know about barton, it's that his relationship with his children are probably his most complicated, so i do believe he does hold some kind of genuine love for them... but it's not a love that anyone can easily understand and one that likely isn't healthy at least half the time either.
but he felt legitimately torn up inside about it even a year later, and today, it's still isn't something that he likes to talk about. it was by far his greatest failure both as a father and as a person in his eyes. plus, knowing the fact that julien died alone and probably in a lot of pain, too? it was so painful for him that barton would swear up and down that it felt akin to someone shooting him right through the heart. so, if you were to ask him what he would do if he could go back in time and change one thing about his past, barton's answer wouldn't be that he would save himself from the cruelty of having to grow up under wesley's roof, or to make it so that his mom didn't have to leave him and he'd actually get to know her, or even to spend more a little more time with marcy... though, trust me, he has thought about all of those things.
it would be that he'd save julien. because he deserved so much better, in his eyes, than to be killed at the age of seventeen whenever he still had his whole life ahead of him and to have his comments about him being scared to go confront the joker completely dismissed. and this is also something that barton hates himself for. how to feels to have your feelings disregarded is something that barton is shocking familiar with, after all, and it's not a good feeling at all. but the fact remains that he can't do anything about his death now. all barton can do is grieve him at night, whenever he has no choice but to be alone with his thoughts, and he looks at past photographs of their entire family that have long since faded. of julien.
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