#MAY MY REIN OF PAIN COMMENCE

[ikenbar]

Mr. Love: Ike’s Choice Pt 3

Warnings: Angst (more of a misunderstanding but it’s still there), burns and talk about blisters, foreshadowing, some fluff but don’t get your hopes up, and, finally, cliff hangers

(Chapter One parts one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven here :))

((Please read the author’s note on part one :)))

Chapter one:

Part three:

Victor’s office was large and spacious. The first thing that caught my eyes was a large white desk in the middle of the room that fit the modern aesthetic. The walls were made up of shelves that held a variety of books and priceless looking abstract sculptures. There was a large TV screen between two of the shelves, revealing a stone laced wall behind it. A couch and a small coffee table sat in the corner of the room, making the once intimidating looking room feel almost cozy. Though the couch looked too perfect to sit in and the table was so pristine, it seemed as if it was only used to hold a neat stack of magazines. In general, the room reminded me of one thing. My office. Though mine didn’t look nearly as expensive, we had the same lay out. Shelves filled with objects and books on the walls, a comfortable sitting area, and a desk that sat in the middle of the room. Maybe Bart was right. Maybe we really are alike.

 I focused my attention on the desk, where a raven-haired gentleman sat staring at his computer screen.  His hair was carefully cut just past his sharp eyebrows, one of which was pointed in a tall arch as if unsatisfied by what he was seeing before him. His ink black eyes reflected the screen perfectly. His lips were thin and tightly pressed together. The black suit he wore seemed to fit him perfectly. As if he had paid a lot of money to be sure it did just that. His body was lean but healthily built.  He obviously took very good care of himself. I couldn’t pin whether that was commendable or just pompous. There was no way this wasn’t Victor.

I closed the door behind me causing Victor to look up. “Can I help you?” His voice was cold, deep, and dismissive. One would quake at the tone he emanated. I didn’t.

“I don’t know. Can you?” I asked, maintaining my position by the door.

 Victor sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I don’t have time for this.” The tone of his voice seemed to match the meaning of his words, “I have a meeting that is already running late. You can talk to my secretary for times that I am available. Otherwise, take your sales pitch elsewhere.” Sales pitch? What game was he playing? Is this normally how he would start his meetings? With a trick question? I didn't take Victor for a joker. Still, I decided to play along.

“Who’s this meeting with?” 

Victor looked dismissively towards me. I folded my arms dominantly. He opened his mouth in a manner that practically told me off without a word being uttered from his lips. I raised an eyebrow, mimicking the way he had been looking at his computer. Victor, obviously already done with the conversation, sighed.

“One of the heads of Ike ‘n Bar Productions. Though it seems this meeting doesn’t matter as much to them as it does to me.” Victor stood up from his desk and took a file from it up with him, justifying the height that Bart had explained to me.

“What makes you say that?” I asked, slowly growing impatient.

“Because it is almost three thirty and he still hasn’t shown.” Victor checked his watch. I froze. He? Didn’t Bart tell him I was going to the meeting? Why would he be waiting for Bar-... Victor wasn’t playing a game. He really didn’t expect me to be there. He thought Ike was a guy's name. My headache rose again.

Two hours earlier:

There was a knock on the office door. “Come in.” Victor demanded. The door opened and Goldman came timidly through it. 

“The Ike ‘n Bar Productions Company’s head just called.” Goldman approached the desk, “Something came up so Bart won’t be attending.”

“Very well.” Victor directed his attention to the computer next to him, “Push forward my five o’clock meeting.”

“You didn’t let me finish, sir.” Goldman chuckled awkwardly, “Bart won’t be attending but his co-head, Ike, will.”  Victor picked up the folder from his desk about the Ike ‘n Bar Productions Company. He skimmed over the contents. Bartholomew Schmidt started his company two years ago alongside someone named Ike Bakira. There wasn’t much written about them. Only that their name was Ike and that they run the company in the background. It did specify one other thing.

“What do we know about her?” Victor asked, rereading the folder for details he might have missed about the woman.

“Him, sir.” Goldman corrected, “Ike Is a man.”

“The document says otherwise.” Victor looked up skeptically at Goldman.

“That’s not what I’ve heard, sir. I asked around the office and to people who have met him and this Ike was described to have no feminine instincts. He orders people around the office like a Colonel in the military. He fires people for being a minute late to turn in their reports. The reason why he stays in the office most of the time is because his glare could scare children. Interviews are off the table because he can’t emote at all-”

“Goldman,” Victor held a hand up, “everything you have told me sounds more like speculation then solid facts.”

“Trust me, Mr. Victor.” Goldman folded his arms, “There is no way this guy can be a woman.”

Present:

“My secretary sent you in instead of him in." Victor continued impatiently, "Meaning he isn’t here. Meaning he doesn’t want the funding I can offer. Meaning he. Doesn’t. Care.” I gripped at my sleeves. Who does this guy think he is?! How dare he look me in the eye and tell me that I don't care about my company?! And assume the name "Ike" only belongs to a certain gender?! 

“What if he already came and thought you had cancelled the meeting.” I said. My voice, that sounded darker than before, made Victor finally look up at me, “After all, thirty minutes of waiting would be quite a while. It’s almost unprofessional.”

Victor’s eyes flashed with anger and uncertainty. “Didn’t I tell you to schedule a meeting with my secretary?”

“No need. I already have one.”

There was a knock at the door from behind me. Victor held his eye contact with me for a moment before calling to the door.

“Come in.”

Goldman poked his head through the door. After catching my eye, he smiled and walked in with a mug in his hand. “Your coffee, Ms. Ike!” I nodded and took the mug from his hand.

“Thank y-” I took one look at the mug and grimaced, “... this coffee is cold.”

“What?!” Goldman quickly took the cup and felt it, “Ah, I’m so sorry, Ms. Ike. I wasn’t paying attention. I will brew a fresh cup for you right away.” With that, Goldman rushed out of the office and shut the door behind him. Leaving Victor and I alone again. I turned and looked back to Victor. The look of restrained shock in his eyes was priceless.

“Anyway.” I resumed my folded arm position, “You were telling me about how I didn’t care about my company.”

“Ms. Ike,” Victor started, “I-”

“That’s Ikamara to you.” I interrupted, placing my briefcase on one of the chairs in front of Victor’s desk and removing my blazer, “because apparently you need reminding that names don’t belong to a specific gender.” Victor opened his mouth to reply but my headache was at the brink of bursting. I couldn’t take any more arguing, “It’s in the past.” I rubbed my temple and closed my eyes. “Let’s just start the meeting.” After a moment of silence Victor agreed.

“Take a seat.” He offered, gesturing to the seat that my briefcase occupied. I shook my head and opened my briefcase instead.

“I’d prefer to stand.” I deadpanned. I just wanted that day to be done. I just wanted his dumb money so I could make my dumb show and get more dumb views to further my father's dumb dream. Was that too much to ask? I pulled out the show proposal and handed it to Victor. He was still standing as he reached for the file. I retracted it slightly. “You can sit if you want.” I assured him.

“I’d prefer to stand.” His tone was defiant. He took the file but I didn't let it go. We locked eyes. This man was nothing like what my father had described. From the supposed striking poker-face to the power stance, he was someone else entirely. He seemed emotionless but still treated people like they were human. His stance, though towering and intense, had a sense of protection. From his hair to his suit to his eyes, there was one word that came to mind. Pretentious. He may have treated me like a human, but he obviously thinks humans were below him. His stance may be protective, but it was protective of himself. All he cared about was his looks and his company. How could I have been so nervous to meet him? This man was like every other capitalist I knew, full of it. ‘He really isn’t all that cold hearted’ my left shoe.

I eyed him coldly. Victor picked up on this and reciprocated by arching his eyebrow. We stared at each other for what seemed like forever. I finally sighed and let go of the file.

“Have it your way.” I said preparing the other papers in the case. Not that there is any other way you’d rather have it… I thought to myself. Victor opened the file in his hand as I cleared my throat and began the speech I had practiced in my head for the past two and a half hours, “The Ike ‘n Bar Productions Company would like to ask for funding for our upcoming TV show, Miracle Writer.  The premise of the show features a character named Nix who can see the dead. She can speak to them and uses her talent to write the stories they have to share. Things go well at first as her stories are getting published and she becomes well known for being a ‘medium’ writer. But things start to go downhill when a ghost comes to Nix telling her he was murdered. They go to the cops, but they don’t believe a word she has to say. So, she teams up with a struggling, private investigating business to uncover the truth and put those spirits to rest.” I take a moment to allow Victor to finish reading the file. He looked up at me. I quickly avoided his eyes as I pulled a contract from my case. “We’d like you to help fund for a good SFX company so that the ghosts in the TV show could come across as realistic and captivating as possible.” I handed the contract to Victor who took it and immediately started reading it. “Any questions?” I asked this meaningfully. Before the meeting I was sure to write a large list of possible questions and answers that he could have for me. I was ready for anything.

“... Do you believe in superpowers?” 

I wasn’t ready for that. “Excuse me?” I asked, hoping it was a joke.

“It’s a simple question.” Victor looked up from the papers in his hands.

I eyed him for a moment before carefully choosing my words, “I believe that science has come to the point where we can use technology and chemistry to further advance humans and their biology, and in that way, we would believe that there is such a thing as ‘superpowers.’” I was sure to use air quotes to specify my point, “But if you are referring to the science fiction version where people magically come in possession of such an ability, then no. I don’t believe in superpowers.”

“Then how do you plan to convey as such through the screen?”

“My skepticism of such a topic is precisely why we will be able to obtain such a strong tie to the audience.” I answered without hesitation, “I will be able to see the show through a skeptic’s eye and make it so our points are more believable.” Victor opened his mouth to say something else. I interrupted him, knowing exactly what he was going to say next, “My protege, Bart, is a believer in these ‘superpowers.’ His creative input will still keep the sort of magic that the viewers are looking for in the show.”

Victor closed his mouth and slowly nodded. He looked back down at the contract in thought. There was a knock at the door and, before Victor could call him in, Goldman peeked back into the room. He smiled as he brought in a new mug with steam visibly protruding from it. “Sorry for the wait!” He said cheerfully, walking up next to me to hand me the mug “I didn’t know if you wanted cream or sugar with it, so I kept it black. I could run and get you some really quick, if you’d like!”

“No need.” Victor said this before I could. He closed the files in his hand and handed them to me, “We are about done here.”

“Oh really?” I asked refusing to take the files and mug of coffee. “Why is that?"

“I don’t see this show going beyond one season. After a few episodes it will just seem like you are repeating yourself and the plot will die with your viewer count.” Victor’s tone was tactless and undermining. As if the very thought of the show was a waste of time. This aggravated me, “Do you even have any idea who you're hiring? This story would only be good if you were able to hook your audience with a good cast. If you can barely afford a good SFX team, how are you going to be able to afford a good cast?” He got me again. I hadn't even started to think about the cast for the show. I bet I would have if Bart had given me some more time to prep. I looked around the room for inspiration. My eyes fell on my blazer resting on the chair next to me. I raised my eyebrow as I saw the metallic business card poking out from inside my jacket.

“What if I told you I could get Kiro on the show?” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them, “That would pull in quite a lot of views from that one name alone.”

“And just how do you plan on getting away with that?”

“He owes me a favor.” I said simply, delicately pushing the card securely into the pocket of the blazer. I looked back up at Victor, who was giving me a skeptical look. I ignored it and continued, “As for the seasonal issue, we have plans for that as well. With your help, we will make up to six seasons. In fact, I have the plans for that right here.”

I moved back to my case but, as I did so, I lightly brushed Goldman’s leg. Causing him to jump and lose control of the mug in his hand. With a large splash the mug came crashing into my left arm as hot coffee poured all over my white shirt. “Are you thick?!” Victor yelled at Goldman for his incompetence as he briskly walked around his desk, “Have you forgotten how to hold a mug?!” Goldman apologized profusely and started dabbing at the coffee with a handkerchief. I couldn’t care less about my shirt. I reached for my briefcase but was stopped as Victor pulled at my arm. He started to unbutton my sleeve.

“No!” I forcefully pulled my arm away from his hold, causing Victor and Goldman to look at me with surprise. “I mean.” I quickly settled my panicked tone and regained my composure, “I’m fine. No need to fuss over me.”

“But that was piping hot coffee.” Goldman rung the handkerchief in his hand, “You must be in pain-"

 “I’ve felt worse.” I reassured him, going back into my briefcase and pulling out a slightly soaked folder. I held the folder out to Victor and changed the topic, “Here. They may be a bit wet, but you can still make out the details.”

“Ms. Ike-...amara, You should change out of that shirt as soon as possible.” Victor advised seriously, ignoring the folder in my hand “For the benefit of the shirt and yourself.” 

“Oh yes, because buying a new white shirt would be too difficult.” I rolled my eyes, “I’m fine, really.”

“There is no need for you to put on a face. Those burns need to be treated right away.”

I opened my mouth to retaliate again but Goldman stopped me. “Please, Ms. Ike, take care of yourself first. The meeting can wait.”

Everything in me told me to fight back, to make sure this deal was settled. But with the throbbing headache and the look of determination in Victor’s eyes, I knew it was time to cave. I sighed and pulled out my wallet from my, thankfully, dry pants pocket. I whipped out my business card and gave it to Victor. “Keep the papers and contact me about your final verdict.” I said with determination dripping from my mouth. Victor obediently took the card and, finally, the folder from my other hand.

“Send LFG the dry cleaning bill.” Victor added, “Goldman will take care of it.” Goldman cringed slightly after hearing this but he nodded. 

“O-of course I will!” He smiled politely. I nodded and closed my briefcase. I carefully inspected the blazer next to it and found there was a small splash of coffee on the back. But, thankfully, it was nowhere near the pockets or the contents therein. I nodded to the men, “Thank you for your time.” I shook hands with both of them and took up my stuff. I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me. 

Once in the empty elevator, I pressed the lobby button and the doors closed. As soon as they did, I clutched my head in agony. That meeting could have gone better. So. Much. Better. Now we weren’t going to get the funding for the show that we had wanted, and it would have been my fault. Bart should have done the interview… no. Bart should have given me the day to prepare instead of two measly hours. I reached into my pants pocket and pulled out the Advil that I had stashed away there. “If only I had something to wash it down with.” I muttered to myself as I looked down at my coffee stain on my shirt. For the first time in my life, I thanked the stars that I couldn’t feel anything in my left arm. I unbuttoned my shirt slightly and took a peek at my arm. It looked red and parts of it started to blister. I sighed and buttoned up the shirt again. Just another blemish added to the record. 

I finally took the pills that I held in my hand. The feeling of the dry pills going down my throat made me shiver but that was a much better feeling then the headache I had put off for so long.

My phone sprang to life from my pocket and started ringing the tone I had saved for my father. I grimaced slightly and pulled my phone out to answer it.

“Hello?” I asked halfheartedly.

“Hey! How did the interview go?” Bart’s cheery voice made me cringe.

“.... I’ll tell you at dinner.” I managed to say.

“Oo! A celebratory dinner I hope?”

“Think what you’d like. I have to stop my apartment and change. I’ll meet you at the house around five thirty.”

“Sounds good. You did good kid! I’m proud of you.” Bart’s tone showed that he really meant it. I closed my eyes tight.

“Thanks.” I held back a lump in my throat, “I’ll talk to you later.” I hung up the phone before hearing his goodbye and slumped onto the wall behind me. “I could still turn this day around.” I thought aloud, “I could still have a good day…. How many times do I have to say that before it comes true?”

The elevator doors opened. Composing myself, I walked out into the lobby.

End of Part Three

(Next)

[aernox]

The Paths That We Tread (Rivamika Jam 2019)

Summary: Eren has left Paradis to do reconnaissance work in Marley. Mikasa must deal with the emotion fallout as hatred begins to grow inside her. Levi returns from time away from the other Scouts to find a conflicted Mikasa.

A/N: This is part of the Rivamika Jam of 2019, with the theme of Paths organised by @rivamikaevents​. The prompt was sent to me by @llfanfictionsafe​

The brisk chilly air assailed the group of young, but now seasoned scouts as they went about their work. Some of them hammered away at wooden sleepers into the earth, others setting up the iron rails to be fixed on top of them. The sweat produced by the work soon started biting uncomfortably upon the warm skin of the scouts.

“When are we calling it a day? I’m starting to get hungry.” Jean called out to the group.

“I’ve actually got hunger pains from all of this work!” Sasha chimed in, guarding her belly.

Mikasa’s fringe fell in front of her face, the rest of her hair tied up in a short ponytail, as she looked up at the fading light in the sky. To the west the sun had already begun its journey of departure, each day a little earlier than the last as the days had begun to grow shorter. Hues of blue, orange and yellow were indistinguishable, and were smeared along the horizon, bleeding into each other.

  It truly is autumn now, Mikasa thought to herself as she continued to carry a massive amount of iron rails to the end of where the not yet complete railway track ended. She didn’t feel like participating in conversation much these days, but she continued to listen to the others.

“Anytime now I’m sure one of the officers will come and dismiss us, I’m sure of it.” Armin said, hammering a metal peg into the earth with some difficultly now as it was hardened by the cold.

“Good. Did I mentioned that I’m absolutely famished?” Sasha whined.

“Heh! Don’t let the folks of the towns hear you say that!” Connie called back in a playful tone.

“Why do you say that, Connie?”

“Haven’t you been reading the papers recently?” Connie’s words dripped in dry sarcasm, “The public is starting to think that the Survey Corp is defunct. That we are a waste. A waste of food and resources.”

“That can’t be true!” Sasha’s eyes bulged and the revelation, and turned to Armin, hoping that he would contradict Connie.

Armin sensing her eyes on him, put down his hammer and wiped the cold sweat from his brow, “What Connie says is true. I heard Commander Hange mentioning it to the officers. It’s a very delicate situation. The Survey Corp is in no way to be involved in any upsetting or scandalous situations, lest we stir up more disdain from the public.” Armin shook his head before saying, “I wouldn’t want to be Commander Hange right now.”

“B-but we are part of the military, of course we need food!”

“Yes, the Survey Corp is part of the military. However, our regiment was founded on the principle of defeating titans. Except there are no titans on this island anymore.” Connie’s words lingered before anyone said anything.

“Well, technically-“ Jean started

“You know what I mean, Jean!”

“Have they forgotten how many Scouts have died to save humanity? How much we have sacrificed? Out of all the regiments, the Survey Corp has lost the most soldiers a hundred times over than the others put together. Besides Connie, you know as well as I do, that defeating titans is not the only objective of our regiment. We are tasked with aiding human expansion, and exploring the outside…”

Connie nodded sympathetically to Sasha’s words.

“Of course, I know that. But try telling that to the public, who have only ever had to worry about titans for their whole lives. They don’t know much about Marley, or care much for the people there. It’s harder for them, because they’ve never seen them. They don’t know the threat that they pose, and that we are the best defence against them.”

Mikasa shuddered at the word Marley and dropped a single iron rail from the huge bundle on her shoulders.

The group immediately became quiet. Mikasa continued to walk with the rest of her load, not bothering to pick up the fallen rail. When Jean thought she was out of hearing distance, the conversation continued.

“Why did you open up your big mouth!” Jean hissed at Connie.

Connie sighed.

“You know as well as I do, that Mikasa has to come to terms with Eren’s decision at some point.  He chose to leave us and go to Marley against the advice of Commander Hange. You know that she said it was too soon. But he wanted to go and do some reconnaissance.”

Eren’s choice to leave had not gone down well with anyone in the group, and to most people’s surprise, even Jean. But especially Mikasa. Since that day, she had grown more insular and distant, more so than she was before.

“That suicidal bastard is going to get himself killed out there.” Jean murmured, “And it’ll be no one’s fault except his own! And we will be the ones to go and rescue him!” Jean said, now exasperated.

“Shh! She’s coming back!”

Mikasa pretended not to hear their conversation. It was easier that way than having to give her opinion, she was sure they all knew that she was upset. But it was easier to say nothing at all, than to admit and talk about how it made her feel hollow inside. She didn’t know how she would even begin to put it into words. But maybe you couldn’t put those feelings into words. You just felt them.

“How is the train track coming along?” Levi said, trotting up with his horse.

The group of scouts looked up at him, too immersed in their conversation to notice him riding up to them before now. His cloak billowed around him as the frigid wind blew in from the exposed north, where the finished part of the railroad track came from.

“Welcome back, Captain Levi. Getting there…but it’ll be a while before it’s finished and ready for military and industrial use.”

“Good. You are all dismissed for the day. You may go back to the outpost.” Levi said, now truly looking at the progress that they had made.

Levi didn’t often come down to this part the country but was surprised at the pace at which the railroad tracks were coming along.

“By any chance was there any news from Mitras, or from Shiganshina on your way back?”

“Things are moving slowly. There has been no word from Eren.”

Dejected, the group packed up their belongings and threw on their cloaks to shield them from the wind that seemed to be growing stronger. Armin turned back to find Mikasa picking up the fallen piece of iron railing.

“Are you coming with us, Mikasa?” He asked, already knowing what her answer would be.

“Later. I’m not finished here yet.”

Mikasa eyes didn’t meet Armin’s concerned ones, instead he pulled up his backpack walked over to Captain Levi.

“Levi, how are things really in the capital?” Armin’s voice was low.

“Not good. With Historia on the throne, we don’t have to worry about food shortages for the scouts. But that doesn’t change how the public feels about us. Times have changed. With the titans gone, we have lost a part of our purpose in their eyes.”

“Except that the titans are not all gone.”

Armin gave Levi a knowing look.

“Exactly.”

The autumnal wind was starting to swell, whipping back Levi’s hood. He scanned the horizon, observing the unfinished railroad track that was heading south. He watched as Mikasa picked up a ridiculous amount of iron rails and started walking to the end of the unfinished track.

“Any change with her?” He asked, motioning towards Mikasa.

Now that Levi looked at him, he could see that Armin’s face had grown older and that he had tired eyes that carried an almost forlorn look. In his head, he knew the responsibilities that Armin would have to face up to and pondered whether he should say something to comfort him.

Armin shook his head. “No, no change. It’s usual for her to stay late out here. Sasha tells me Mikasa usually gets back to the female dormitory when everybody is already in their beds. Goodnight, Captain.”

The blonde man whose shoulders now appeared broader than the last time Levi saw him, slung on his backpack and started walking not far behind the rest of his group.

Levi dismounted his horse, gently pulling the reins as he walked over to Mikasa.

“From what I hear, you are overworking yourself.”

“I’m not tired. Maybe people should mind their own business.” Mikasa spat back, continuing to walk to end of the track.

“Of course you’re not tired. But you are my business,” Levi replied.

Halting for a moment, the bundle of iron rails still on her shoulders, Mikasa finally turned to face him.

“What?”

“As a member of the Survey Corp, you are my business. I have a duty to ensure your welfare.”

“Don’t start this shit again, Levi. I’m not in the mood for this.” Mikasa commenced her walk to the end of the track, finally setting down the iron rails she had been carrying.

“Everyone needs help sometime, Mikasa.”

“Do I look like I need help?” Mikasa was standing next to the massive amount of ironwork that she had carried herself. “Would anyone else be capable of this?”

Levi looked at her, knowing that he should have spoken to her long ago, but he had always put it off thinking he had more time.

“All except for you that is…” Mikasa murmured, but still loud enough for Levi to hear.

“We have a lot to talk about. Believe me when I say, I am concerned about you.”

“Levi. Just stop it.” Her hands were on her hips, her back to him as she watched the sun sink lower into the horizon.

“I know that you are angry at me for letting Eren go to Marley, but he wou-“

Mikasa turned around, her eyes ablaze with rage and Levi was sure that she was going to strike him. Glancing down he could see that her hands were tight fists.

“You should have stopped him, Levi.” Mikasa’s gaze dropped to the ground, “I tried. I tried to stop him myself. But he told me that I must let him go. So, I did.”

Mikasa shook her head, her eyes wide in disbelief.

“Why did I let him go, Levi? When all I wanted was for him to stay.”

Levi felt a sinking sensation in his chest, unsure whether it was because of her words, or because of how distraught she looked.

“He would have left regardless of what any of us could have said or done.” Levi said, knowing that this most likely was not going to bring her comfort.

But maybe I have something that will help, even if it is just for a few moments.

Levi let go of the reins to his horse, it was well trained and wouldn’t go far. The captain pulled off his backpack and set it on the ground, pulling out his flask which was still warm on the outside.

“Is that what I think it is?” Mikasa said in a dry tone.

“Probably.”

Mikasa suspected that she saw a hint of a smile forming on the edge of his mouth.

Sitting down, Levi pulled out two military issued tin cups and motioned for Mikasa to take one. Without even thinking, Mikasa’s hand took the cup and she sat down. Mikasa wished she had put her cloak on, now that the wind seemed to be picking up. The sweat on her back was starting to send a chill up her spine. She held out her cup as Levi poured the steaming liquid into it, when it occurred to her that maybe she did want to talk to someone. She wanted to let it all out. For months she suffered in the depths of her own mind, ruminating over hundreds of scenarios. Scenes of Eren leaving, Mikasa unable to stop him, and Eren eventually dying alone in foreign lands.

But she couldn’t bring herself to talk to her friends, Armin, Jean, Sasha and the others. In a way it felt to close to home to talk to them about it. But Levi. There was something about Levi that made it so that she felt comfortable taking about uncomfortable things. Maybe it was because he was in the same position. He too could not talk to Hange, she was the Commander of the Survey Corp and had a myriad of her own problems. Levi did not want to burden her with his thoughts.

With both cups now emitting a hot fragrant scent, Mikasa finally got her first real look at the captain she hadn’t seen in months. His dark circles were still there, albeit darker than before and few fine lines around the corners of his eyes. He brought the cup to his mouth, taking a moment to take in the fragrance and took a tentative sip.

“Just like old times, huh?” Mikasa quipped.

“It has been a while since we last did this.”

Mikasa took a sip of her own. It was mint tea, which was a favourite of Levi’s. It was the first personal thing about him that Mikasa had found out quite soon into their meetings. Not long after Levi found out that we he was related to Kenny Ackerman, and business with the scouts had slowed down somewhat, he started inviting Mikasa to have tea with him.

At the beginning, the conversations were quite awkward and filled with lengthy silences. Levi had felt it was his duty to be involved in Mikasa’s life. Perhaps she would need guidance. Perhaps she would want answers to the power the lay deep within the Ackerman blood. Except that Levi didn’t really have any answers, he himself not knowing about his linage until their encounter with Kenny. Levi had never mentored anyone. But he promised himself that he wouldn’t do what Kenny did. He would help Mikasa, and any way he could. He just didn’t know how.

Eventually, they both became comfortable with each other, though not confiding too deeply to one another. But after they reached the Jaeger’s basement in Shiganshina, things changed.

“Talk to me, Mikasa.”

“Do you think because you brought tea, that things can just go back to the way they were before?”

The sarcastic tone was not lost on Levi. But he took a moment before replying, knowing that he would have to choose his words carefully.

“I know its been a long time, too long, since I last spoke with you. You know I have been busy, but I should have prioritised coming back to see you.”

Mikasa knew that his words were sincere, but she still felt anger coursing through her body.

“Do you know how it felt when Eren left? For one of my closest childhood friends to abandon me… and Armin. But not only that – you left as well!” Her words spilled from her mouth before she could stop herself. “Do you know how…”

Levi said nothing, waiting for her to continue.

“How pathetic am I? Needing to rely on someone to talk to? I am a joke.” Levi watched uncomfortably as her words and thoughts conflicted each other, knowing that he should have come back months ago.

“And who am I to talk?! The way I’ve treated Armin is despicable. I’ve thought only of myself, when one of my closest friends needs me. Especially now, with what is to come eventually…”

After Shiganshina, and what they learnt in the basement, they knew that the those who wielded the power of the titans would have a shortened lifespan. Every day was precious.

“I’m sorry, I was gone for far too long. It wasn’t fair to you. But you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself either. I know that you hold yourself to higher standards than others, but you have gone too far now, Mikasa.”

Levi watched as Mikasa turned her gaze to him. She looked different from their last meeting. Her hair was tied back, her fringe flopped into her eyes but what concerned him was the aloofness evident in her eyes.

“Of course I hold myself to higher standards. You of all people should know why.”

Levi nodded, knowing full well the reasons behind her argument.

"Because we are not like the others." Levi stated.

“Exactly.” Mikasa said, her eyelids hanging low.

"You sound resentful, Mikasa"

Mikasa's head tilted slightly, "Maybe I do. Not that I resent this power. But yes, maybe I do resent them. All of them."

"Would you believe me if I said that I used to feel like that too. I used to pity these people. How they struggled against the titans, dropping like flies all around me. While I could take down multiple titans without breaking a sweat. It was unfathomable to me that anyone could have trouble taking one down…"

Levi grew quiet, falling into a short reverie of his first days in the Survey Corp.

"Pity turned to resentment, and for a while even disdain. I don't want the same thing to happen to you, Mikasa. It was hard to pull myself out of it."

Levi took a sip of tea and looked out to the unfinished railroad track.

"How did you get yourself out of it?" Mikasa asked, her voice quiet.

"I decided to change my way of thinking. It was a very conscious decision." Levi furrowed his brows, "No, that's not entirely true. But first, tell me what you're thinking."

Mikasa looked into her tin cup that was nearly empty now, unsure of how to phrase what she wanted to say, until it all came flooding out.

"These people are weak, Levi. So bloody weak, they can't even save themselves. I wanted to help them, of course I did. I thought it was the most natural thing in the world to want to help someone. Until I heard how ungrateful they were. How I watched comrade after comrade die, because they weren't quick enough or strong enough. Killing titans is child’s play, Levi. It's like washing the dishes, routine and boring. But still I can't fathom how people have trouble doing it." Mikasa finally took a breath. "You are the only one that understands what I'm getting at, Levi. I don't want to hate these people, but it's so hard not to."

There was silence for a time. The wind snatching the bronze and browning leaves from dying trees until they lay on the muddy earth. Levi took in the aromatic scent of his tea before taking another sip.

"I decided not to hate them, Mikasa. Because I realised two things. The first, you are right; killing titans is childs play – for us. We have this power within us. We know exactly what we need to do, and so we can go into battle fearlessly, not worrying about whether we live or die. Now imagine you are one of these people that you have grown resentful of. You have no extraordinary power or talent, yet you go to face titans head on, not knowing if you will make it out alive. These people are either entirely stupid or extraordinarily brave and selfless.

I chose to believe it is the later. Which brings me to my second point, I chose what to believe, because I can. I don't want to fill myself with hate, because then who knows what we would become. We decide who, and what we want to be."

Neither Levi nor Mikasa spoke for a time. She pondered over his words while she took a sip of tea, looking out at the empty plain that surrounded them, the few trees that were there we nearly all barren of their leaves now. It suddenly occurred to Mikasa to ask Levi a question that she had wanted to ask ever since she found out he was an Ackerman.

"Do you think that is why we have this… power?" Mikasa turned to Levi, hoping to catch his reaction.

"It is quite a burden when you think about it. Maybe that’s why we have this power… because we would make the right decision. We would try to help others with it." Levi said as he stood up, draining the last of his tea.

Mikasa stood up too, feeling a spit of rain on her face as she grabbed her cloak. She pulled the cloak close as she looked at the unfinished train track, the timbre rail sleepers, iron strips and nails.

"It's not just about the paths we take, but also the ones we choose to make."

Levi had been packing the flask and cups into his backpack but now he looked up, watching Mikasa as she looked out at the unfinished train track. Knowing that he had got through to her, and for a moment he felt some relief. The gentle drizzle of rain had now turned into a downpour.

“Let’s get out of here.” Levi said, connecting the last clasp on his bag he stood up and whistled for his horse to return. They both pulled up their hoods, hoping for some respite from the rain. As Mikasa swam in her revelation, Levi couldn’t help but notice the morose expression on her face. “. I have a new blend of tea from Mitras I think you might like. I dropped it off at the outpost on my way here. If you want to try it, that is.”

“I’d like that very much. To be honest…I really have missed our conversations, Levi.”

Caught off guard with her sudden candour, Levi was lost for words.

Oh, how I have missed them too.

Levi thought about verbalising his inner thoughts, but fear struck him mute. Instead, all he could do was give her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. As they waited, Levi contemplated whether to ask Mikasa whether she wanted to ride the horse on the way back to outpost, seeing as she had been working all day.

“You know, you look different since I last saw you Levi.” Mikasa told him.

“Oh really, how so?” Levi was genuinely curious of her answer.

“You look shorter.” Mikasa said, not looking at him, but with a playful smile on her lips as her elbow nudged his arm.

He sighed. “You go too far, Mikasa. What would you think, if I told you that you look different too?”

“Oh really, how so?” She said, imitating his words.

Levi tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, and said five words that made Mikasa blush.

[overwatchworks]

Hanahaki:

Rejoining Overwatch had been the easy part; making the decision, finding the location, convincing Zenyatta to join him, making the long trek by foot to Gibraltar--that was simple. 

What was difficult was seeing the old faces, old friends.

Specifically Jesse McCree.

Rejoining Overwatch had been the easy part; making the decision, finding the location, convincing Zenyatta to join him, making the long trek by foot to Gibraltar--that was simple. What was difficult was seeing the old faces, old friends. 

New ones were fine, Genji was happy to meet them and encourage their hopes for making a positive impact with Overwatch. It was what he wanted to do as well, something good for the world now that he was able to in mind, body, and spirit. 

Noticing how many people were gone was distressing in a way, same with those that were back but changed. Like him, Genji supposed, so not all bad. It was difficult to describe, the sense of disconnect even though these were people he had known for years. It was like it was in another life, though.

And seeing Jesse McCree again had been really, really difficult. More difficult than meeting with Hanzo. More difficult than leaving in the night, without so much as a word. 

Genji regretted the way he had left, thought about it over and over in the weeks following the recall message. He knew he had left many strings untied, and one in particular that happened to lace around his heart. 

Jesse had been all smiles and easy-going banter when they had met up again, more mellow and calculating than when he was younger. Tanner, broader, a little more rough around the edges, but his eyes were softer, more understanding. He seemed happy. Content, even.

Genji had been expecting at least some awkwardness between them, but instead, he had been given a pat on the back, the cowboy telling him how happy he was that he’d found himself. For some reason, it left Genji feeling a bit empty. 

The first few weeks in Gibraltar went by smoothly, everyone getting to know one another through training and shared stories in the cafeteria. Genji liked a lot of the new recruits, but he always ended up standing next to Jesse by the end of things. Old habits and all. That’s what Genji told himself. 

They had been teammates in Blackwatch, old friends reunited, the slide back into familiarity comforting. They still knew the ins and outs of one another, still fought and trained together like a well-oiled machine, the cogs fitting right into place and working seamlessly. 

It worked like that until Genji started getting sick. 

Everyone was gathered in the training facility, waiting for Winston to divide them into teams and start the simulation. Genji stood at ease, arms crossed over his chest and weight leaned into one leg. He’d had a bit of a scratchy throat for a while--nothing to go see a healer about, it would clear up on its own--and either way, team training was too important to miss for something so trite.

“Alright, gang. Hana, Brigette, Baptiste, Genji, and Mei will be on the red team. Angela, Lena, McCree, Lucio, and Reinhardt will be on the blue team. I will observe from above, and Athena will be recording the session and stats of each member. Good luck, everyone!” Winston told them, adjusting his glasses before turning and heading up to the observation deck. 

Genji waved to his teammates, the group of them moving to the left side of the training grounds.

“Now, Reinhardt will probably come charging in, knowing him, so we should focus him.” Brigette started, Genji chuckling to himself. Not much had changed with the old warrior.

“Well, in the case that he listens to his team or has Angela with him the whole time, we will need to go after her and Lucio. They will be most vital in taking out everyone else. I can flank them if Hana and Brigette distract them from the front. Baptiste, if you could help me with distance healing, it would be appreciated.”

Baptiste nodded with a little two fingered salute.

“I have your back.”

“But what about McCree? You should be careful of him, he knows how to deal with a flank attack, right?” Mei piped up, fiddling with her training gun. They would only provide a small shock and a marking as to where someone had been hit.

“Don’t worry, I can take him.” Genji grinned behind the mask.

“Attack begins in thirty seconds.” Athena announced, the training room shifting and creating a holographic setting they could practice in. It seemed that they would be in a warehouse today. 

Hana suddenly stuck her hand out, face a mix of excited and determined.

“Everyone put a hand in!” She demanded, Baptiste and Brigette hardly needing any encouragement. Mei laughed and stuck her hand on top, Genji huffing in amusement before adding his hand as well.

“Alright, go blue team!! We got this!” Hana cheered, throwing her hand up and leading everyone else to copy the chant. It felt good, uplifting even. Genji was reminded why he was glad to be part of a team once again. 

They got into position, Genji looking behind him to make sure everyone was ready. His shruiken slipped into his fingers, ready and waiting.

“Five, four, three, two, one. Attack commencing. Stop the red team.”

Genji hopped out from behind his cover, hearing Brigette and Hana right behind him. He climbed up to higher ground, looking for the enemy team before whipping back behind cover as a stun bullet whizzed past his head. 

Only Jesse was that good of a shot, and only Jesse would know the ninja liked to scout things out first. Genji grinned, speaking into his comms.

“Lucio, Reinhardt, and Angela are coming in fast through the choke! Mei, can you wall off Rein from the healers?”

There was the sound of Lena’s pulse pistols going off, then Baptiste’s immortality field.

“Get in here!”

“It may take me a minute, but I’ll try my best.” Mei replied, the soft ‘fwish’ of her freeze gun making it a bit difficult to hear her.

“Alright. Hana, Brigette, you keep Rein busy, then. I will go in from behind.”

Genji jumped to the opposite ledge, then dove into the back line of the blue team. Angela moved closer to Reinhardt, Lucio immediately skating over to boop him away. Genji felt a stun shot on his leg as he was pushed back, and he turned to deflect the shots that were suddenly coming from Jesse. 

The ninja ran towards him, throwing his shruiken in an arc to follow where Jesse would likely roll back into. He was right, the stars connecting and lighting up the training armour they were wearing.

“Shit...” Jesse muttered, looking down at the glowing blue spots on his chest.

“You always do that move, even when we spar!” Genji called, doing a double jump as the cowboy continued to try and shoot him back.

“Yeah, well, Talon ain’t gonna know that. I think you’ve got an unfair advantage here, pumpkin.”

Genji grinned, then felt the itch in his throat grow suddenly, like he’d swallowed water the wrong way. He coughed, slowing a bit and getting hit by one of Jesse’s shots. Stumbling, still trying to keep up with Jesse. He couldn’t. 

Genji got hit two more times, enough to bring his health for the round to zero. Still, he was coughing. It felt like something was lodged in his windpipe.

“You okay, partner?”

Genji shook his head, holding up a hand as he cleared his throat to no avail. Jesse came over and put a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m fine. I...I’ll be right back.”

Jesse watched him as he walked off the training grounds, concern in his eyes. 

Genji took off his faceplate as soon as he made it to the bathrooms, frowning as another bought of coughs overtook him. Something landed on his hand, wet and sticking to the synth fibers of his palm. He stared at it for a moment, plucking it up between the fingers of his other hand. 

A petal. Genji tilted his head, lips pursing. It was bright red, the texture registering as soft and smooth to the delicate sensors on his hand. 

He didn’t know what the flower was, but he knew what it meant. 

Genji leaned over the sink, setting the petal aside and running a hand over his face. Jesse...It was Jesse. It was always Jesse. Genji grit his teeth, chest constricting with pain that wasn’t from his coughs. Of course it had to be now, and here, of all places. 

Genji took a deep breath before straightening and washing the petal down the drain. He went back to the training room, pretending like nothing had happened.

-

The petals were from the Hatiora Gaertneri, or Easter Cactus, Genji found out later that week after coughing up more petals and examining them. The flowers looked pretty in the pictures, but the petals that came up always looked somewhat withered to Genji. Not as vibrant, little bruises present on the tips and sides. 

Genji kept the trash can next to his bed, had to keep his mask off while he slept so when he coughed more petals up, he could just spit them out. It interfered with everything he did, and only got worse whenever he was around Jesse. 

The ninja began to avoid him, just to keep his coughs hidden, his feelings shut tight beneath the surface. He hadn’t felt this way in years, not since before he’d met Zenyatta. 

When Hanzo arrived, it was a good distraction, a good excuse to be away from everyone to help his brother settle in and get used to things. Hanzo wasn’t exactly ready to be apart of a team after being solo for years. Genji helped him as much as he could, tried to make sure everyone was welcoming. 

Not everyone felt the same, especially Jesse. Genji had been dreading introducing Hanzo to him, but it inevitably happened. 

Evening in Gibraltar, too late for dinner, and yet, Hanzo had insisted on having a quiet one by himself in the commons room. Genji hadn’t let him eat alone, the two sharing a simple dish of leftovers and some rice Hanzo had made.

“Anija, you’ve been talking to Hana and Mei a lot recently, right?”

Hanzo huffed softly, eyes cast aside to look out the window.

“They are better company than some.” He murmured, Genji taking a bite and humming thoughtfully. 

Angela had not been very keen on Hanzo when they had first met, nor had Lena. They warmed up to him quickly enough, but the initial impression had been made, and Hanzo was looking for reasons to keep himself closed off behind his protective walls. 

He was trying, though, and tonight seemed to be a good night, the older Shimada more open and talkative. Relatively.

“Just give it more time, Hanzo. You’re part of a team now, and whether you like it or not, they have your back. Oh, Zenyatta also said he’d like to speak with you again tomorrow.” Genji told him airily, waving his chopsticks a bit as he spoke. 

A small cough slipped up, the ninja hastily covering it with the back of his hand. Hanzo frowned.

“I will meet with him, but you’ve had that cough for a while now. Maybe you should have Dr. Ziegler look at it?”

“No, it’ll clear out--”

And of course, Jesse walked in. Of course, of course, of course. 

He seemed surprised to see the two brothers there, brows lifting slightly before his eyes darkened upon landing on Hanzo. Genji coughed for a different reason, waving a bit to the cowboy.

“Ah, Jesse. Have you met Hanzo yet?” Genji tried for casual, though, the look in Jesse’s eye was sinister enough to negate the attempt’s effect.

“No.” 

Bitten out and cold. 

Genji could sense Hanzo bristle at the tone, but he stayed quiet. The ninja stood, Hanzo doing the same, food forgotten on the table.

“Then come here, say hello! Hanzo, this is Jesse. We worked together a lot before I met Zenyatta. Jesse--”

“I damn well know who he is, Gen. You don’t have to sugar coat things for me, because I sure as hell ain’t going to for him.”

Genji put a hand to Jesse’s chest when he stepped forward, Hanzo taking a slight defensive stance and glaring right back at the cowboy.

“Jesse, don’t...” Genji warned, even just the small bit of contact making his throat burn with the need to cough. What a damn inconvenience.

“I’ve been waiting a long time to see this Hanzo you talked about. The bastard that tried to kill his own brother. You’re lucky I don’t have my gun on me, Hanzo. I swore I’d put a bullet in you for hurting Genji the moment I saw you.”

Genji closed his eyes, suppressing a cough. Those words were sincere enough, Genji remembered him promising it a long, long time ago. Back when the ninja would have been happy to see it happen. Back when things were different, especially between him and Jesse.

“Jesse, stop.”

“You know nothing of what happened!” Hanzo hissed, Jesse laughing dryly and stepping back.

“I know enough, buddy. More than enough to make my impression of you. So, let me promise you something; if you ever even think of hurting him again, I will blow a fucking hole between your eyes. You got it?”

“Jesse, that’s enough!” Genji growled, pushing him back. Jesse glanced down at him, the fire in his eyes calming down just a bit. 

He shot another look at Hanzo, then turned and left the room without another word. 

Genji immediately coughed into his hand, eyes watering from having to keep it down for so long, breaking the oppressive silence in the room. He doubled over, coughs bringing up half of a flower bud. Genji cursed and crushed it quickly in his fist, sitting down heavily. 

Jesse clearly still cared for him, just not enough. He wasn’t loved back. Considering everything that had happened between them, the years spent apart, it wasn’t surprising. But it still hurt to have it confirmed time and time again. 

Hanzo knelt next to him, face wiped of emotion besides the deep furrow of his brows. Trying to keep it together.

“Are you alright?” He asked softly, voice somewhat dull. Genji sighed, then nodded.

“Yeah. That actually went slightly better than I was expecting.” He muttered, wiping his mouth. A light sheen of red smeared over the chrome on the back of his hand. 

Genji frowned, wiping that away quickly. But not quickly enough. Hanzo’s eyes had followed the motion, darting back up to meet Genji’s when he’d seen.

“What’s in your hand.”

Genji shook his head, fist tightening as he pursed his lips. Hanzo took his arm cautiously--he was always cautious now--tugging gently at the fingers closed to his palm, leaving slight indentations.

“Let me see.”

The tone was one he always used to take when Genji was little, getting into trouble or getting hurt. A slight reprimand washed in concern. Hanzo had always tried his best to take care of him when they were boys, and it seemed now he was remembering once again that he was the older brother. 

That effort was enough to make Genji slowly open his hand, eyes downcast as Hanzo stared at the revealed flower. It was quiet for a moment, too quiet.

“Genji...”

“I’m fine.” Genji hissed, throwing the flower in his mostly empty bowl and standing abruptly.

“Genji, do not walk away from this.”

Genji tossed the remains of his bowl out, leaving it in the sink.

“Please.” Belated and soft, stopping Genji in his tracks. Hanzo came up to him, placing a tentative hand on his shoulder.

“Go see Dr. Ziegler.”

“I...Can’t.”

“Why not? You must get this treated before...” Hanzo trailed off, Genji gritting his teeth.

“Hanzo, I don’t want to get it treated. I already lost him once, by my own choice. I can’t do that again. It hurt enough the first time.”

“Genji, this can kill you if it goes untreated...!”

“I’m not giving up another chance with him! I just can’t do that.”

Hanzo pursed his lips, looking at Genji for a long moment. He then took a short breath and nodded.

“Okay. I...Understand. Just promise me you won’t let it go too far?”

“I don’t want these feelings to just...Disappear. I have to at least try.” Genji murmured, coughing lightly. 

He wanted to talk to Jesse, tell him how he felt. But if he didn’t reciprocate it now, why would he suddenly change his mind? Pity wouldn’t do the trick, and guilt would only make them both feel worse. Genji needed to earn his love.

“You can’t tell anyone.” The ninja whispered, fists clenching as he stared at the floor.

“I will not. However, if this continues to get worse, I am going to have to let Dr. Ziegler and Zenyatta know. I cannot lose you again either, Genji.” Hanzo told him, hand slipping off his shoulder as he stepped back. 

The younger Shimada bobbed his head, opting to stay silent.

“Alright. I will let you rest. Think on my suggestion.”

Genji nodded again, slipping out of the room silently with his arms crossed, form hunched slightly. His breath rattled in his chest.

-

Another two weeks passed, and Genji’s illness was being noticed by the team. It was hard to miss when Genji was skipping practices and meals to keep away from Jesse. The coughs were getting difficult to manage and keep down, even when he was alone. Blood started speckling the full flowers that came up. Genji was emptying the trash can every day, the bottom of it covered in petals. 

He went to go see Angela when she requested a check up for him, no longer denying that he needed help. The ninja was losing sleep, not eating, and isolating himself in ways that were far too similar to his Blackwatch days for his liking. 

He walked into the medical ward, body heavy with exhaustion. Angela gave him a worried look before motioning to the examination table.

“Thank you for coming, Genji. Please sit.”

Genji sat. His fingers curled on the edge of the table, crinkling the paper that was laid on top of it for sanitation purposes. He coughed.

“How long have you had this cough? I noticed it a while back, but it should have cleared up by now.” Angela asked, hooking Genji up to a machine as she spoke.

“It’s been a little over a month.”

“A month? Why did you not come to me sooner?”

“I know what it is.” Genji sighed. The doctor paused, glancing up at him, understanding dawning in her eyes.

“Is it...”

“Hanahaki.” He nodded, Angela placing a delicate hand over her mouth. The other went to Genji’s shoulder, but it did little to comfort him. Genji despised the pity in her gaze.

“Who--No, you don’t have to tell me, forgive me. I’m sorry, Genji.”

“Do not be.”

“Alright...Well, based on the time scale you gave me, I would give you two more weeks before it starts to become fatal. Would you like to have it treated now, or wait a little longer?” Angela inquired more matter of factly, face slipping into a more professional façade after hearing Genji’s tone. 

It was quiet, Genji staring at the floor as he thought about it.

“It is your choice, Genji. You do not have to have it treated at all, but I would highly suggest it if things do not work out. I do not want to rush you, either. If you need more time to decide, just tell me.” Softer this time, understanding. Genji shook his head.

“I need more time.”

“Then please, take it. But as your friend, Genji, I ask that you do not let this go too far. You have many other people who love you and only wish the best for you. Please remember them too.” She murmured, squeezing his shoulder before letting it go. 

Genji let her proceed with her testing, staying quiet and pensive the whole time.

-

“Master, what do you think I should do?”

Zenyatta hummed, plucking a petal from the small pile Genji had coughed up during their meditation session. Of course Zenyatta had known from the beginning, no surprise indicated from the monk when Genji had shown him the petals. Only concern, and an offer to talk about it, if Genji felt inclined.

“I think you should speak with Jesse. Tell him how you feel, and let him know what is going on.” Zenyatta told him, head tipping in Genji’s direction slightly.

“But...I do not wish to make him feel guilty, or the need to love me back out of pity or urgency.”

“Distancing yourself from your problems will only make the walk towards to fixing them even further.”

“I know...”

There was a pause, the sound of waves crashing against the cliffs a pleasant lull. Then, Zenyatta spoke up once again.

“Tell me, Genji. If someone was suffering in silence for you, would you like to know, or remain ignorant of it?”

“Of course I would like to know.” Genji muttered, tearing at a petal.

“Then you have your answer.”

“It cannot be that simple, though. It isn’t that simple!”

“Maybe it is. Maybe it is not. But, you will never find out if you do not try. However, my suggestion is to speak with him.”

Genji sighed softly.

“I am sure you are right, as always.”

“That would be my guess as well.” Zenyatta chimed. Genji chuckled a bit at the cheeky tone, staring out at the water before tossing his petal aside. 

He stood, then bowed towards the monk.

“Thank you, Master.”

“Of course, Genji. Good luck.”

-

Genji sat down on the jut of the cliff, legs crossing into the lotus position. It had been enough time, had made his decision. He had his mask off, Jesse standing behind him with his arms crossed over his chest. The cowboy’s hair was moving with the wind, the setting sun casting a golden hue over everything. 

He looked handsome, as always. Genji tried his best not to stare too much. 

Angela had given him some medicine to help suppress the cough, and it was doing its job, to some extent. Genji still felt the itch in his throat, the catch in his breath, petals getting stuck in his airway. With Jesse right there, lowering himself down to sit next to Genji, it was hard not to cough. It was always hard.

“You been kinda quiet lately. I thought I’d done something wrong, with the way you’ve been avoiding me.” Jesse started, his tone light and teasing. 

Genji smiled ruefully at the waves below them, fingers fidgeting in his lap.

“I did not mean to make that impression. You have done nothing wrong, I assure you.”

The cowboy gave him a side glance, gaze resting on his face for a long moment.

“What’s wrong, then?”

“Technically, nothing. I am just...Unwell.”

“Gen, you’re lyin’ to me. I can still see it in your eyes. That much hasn’t changed since the old days.”

“I said technically.” Genji repeated, holding up a finger defensively. Jesse chuckled, tilting his body to face the ninja more.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, partner. I’m always here for you if you need me.”

Genji grimaced as a cough shuddered through him, eyes watering as he gripped the flower tight in his palm.

“Genji...?”

The ninja sighed, opening his hand and setting the full flower between them. Jesse’s eyes dropped to it, brows furrowing. Genji pressed his lips into a thin line when Jesse looked back up at him.

“Hanahaki...?”

A nod.

“...It’s...It’s me?”

Another, more slight nod.

“Gen, I--”

Genji held up a hand, lips curling into a bittersweet smile.

“I just wanted to let you know what was happening. You don’t have to do anything, change anything, or say you love me back. That’s not what this is about. I just. It didn’t feel right hiding it anymore. You deserve to know.” He murmured, gaze downcast as he waited for Jesse’s response. 

It took a minute. The cowboy finally took a breath, shaky and uneven.

“I’m sorry, Genji. It’s...I care about you, and when you left it was definitely more than I--I did love you in Blackwatch, but you left, and I was able to forget, for a while. It’s really what I think saved me from getting hanahaki myse--”

“Jesse, I’ve always loved you.” Genji interrupted, taking Jesse’s hand and running a thumb over his knuckles. The gunslinger’s eyes widened slightly, surprise clear in the honey-brown irises.

“You...You have?”

“Yes. I only wish I had been better at showing you, that I had been better to you. I was hoping...If you are willing, I was hoping you would give me another chance to be better.”

Genji waited patiently as Jesse seemed to gather his thoughts, eyes never leaving the ninja’s face.

“Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.” He finally whispered, a small, soft smile upturning his lips. Genji let out a quiet sigh of relief, grinning.

“Now, I can’t guarantee immediate wellness, but I have always had feelings for you. I still do. Can you just give me a little more time? It shouldn’t take much.” Jesse followed up, more of a playful lilt to his voice once again. 

The ninja laughed at that, taking Jesse’s hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it.

“Of course I can.” 

“Thank you. And thank you for telling me, I...You mean so much to me, Genji. You always have.”

“Oh, Jesse. You mean the world to me.” Genji murmured, reaching up to hold the cowboy’s face in his hands gently, pressing their foreheads together. 

Jesse smiled, and the weight that had been pressing on Genji’s chest lifted.

~~

[les-eaux-d-eunoe-blog]

Comment réciter le chapelet ? How to pray the rosary in English and French

(img source)

I love the rosary.

It’s a beautiful form of meditation through repetition and intention.

I’ve had some very powerful feelings of peace, joy, and strangely, self acceptance, during my several attempts at praying it. I recommend it to anyone. You don’t even have to be Catholic.

As I’m trying to practice French in some form each day, I thought memorizing the more common prayers of the rosary in the language of a country that is historically heavily Catholic would be lovely, especially since my time in France played a role in my own initial interest in Catholicism.

Rosary Basics

If you are new to the rosary, here’s a quick rundown on how it works:

The rosary is composed of a cross or crucifix and a series of beads, each of which represents a prayer.

It helps to hold each bead as you move through the rosary. This allows you to keep track of where you are without counting, so you can focus on meditation. 

That part dangling down to the cross? That’s where you’ll begin. You work your way up from the cross, then around the neck. You can move either clockwise or counter clockwise, it doesn’t really matter.

When you get to the main loop, there are five sets of beads, organized into what are called “decades.” For each decade first you’ll set your intention, which is to meditate on one of the Mysteries of the life of Christ (more on that later.) You can also additionally set your own intention here and add your own prayer.

Say the Rosary / Réciter le chapelet 

Here’s how to work your way through the rosary and the corresponding prayers:

1.  Make the sign of the cross. Faire un signe de croix.

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Au nom du Père et du Fils, et du Saint-Esprit, Amen !

Say the Apostle’s Creed. Réciter du symbol des apôtres:

I believe in God the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord; who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. He descended into hell; the third day he arose again from the dead; he ascended into heaven; sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty; from thence he shall come to judge the living and the dead.  I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.

Je crois en Dieu, le Père tout-puissant, Créateur du ciel et de la terre. Et en Jésus-Christ, son Fils unique, notre Seigneur ; qui a été conçu du Saint-Esprit, est né de la Vierge Marie, a souffert sous Ponce Pilate, a été crucifié, est mort et a été enseveli, est descendu aux enfers ; le troisième jour est ressuscité des morts, est monté aux cieux, est assis à la droite de Dieu le Père tout-puissant, d’où il viendra juger les vivants et les morts. Je crois en l’Esprit Saint, à la sainte Église catholique, à la communion des saints, à la rémission des péchés, à la résurrection de la chair, à la vie éternelle. Amen.

2. Our Father / Un Notre Père

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Notre Père, qui est aux cieux, que ton nom soit sanctifié, que ton règne vienne, que ta volonté soit faite sur la terre comme au ciel. Donne-nous aujourd’hui notre pain de ce jour. Pardonne-nous nos offenses, comme nous pardonnons aussi à ceux qui nous ont offensés. Et ne nous laisse pas entrer en tentation mais délivre-nous du Mal. Amen.

3.  Say 3 Hail Marys, one for each bead. Réciter 3 "Je vous salue Marie," une pour chaque perle.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Je vous salue, Marie pleine de grâce ; Le Seigneur est avec vous. Vous êtes bénie entre toutes les femmes, Et Jésus, le fruit de vos entrailles, est béni. Sainte Marie, Mère de Dieu, Priez pour nous pauvres pécheurs, Maintenant et à l’heure de notre mort. Amen

4. Conclude with Glory Be and Oh My Jesus. Each decade also closes with these prayers. Concluez avec “Glorie au Père” et “O Mon Jésus.” Chaque dizaine se termine également avec ces prières

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.  As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

Gloire au Père et au Fils, et au Saint-Esprit, comme il était au commencement, maintenant et toujours, et dans les siècles des siècles. Amen

O My Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell and lead all souls to heaven, especially those who are in most need of Thy mercy.

O mon Jésus, pardonne-nous nos péchés, préserve-nous du feu de l'enfer et conduis au ciel toutes les petit âmes surtout celles qui ont le plus besoin de ta miséricorde.

5. (& 9, 10, 11 12) Now, the meditation on the mysteries begin. Puis la méditation des mystères commence.

For each decade, begin by announcing the Mystery (they’re listed below,) then say the Our Father (see Nº 2.)   Pour chaque dizaine, commencez par annoncer le mystère (ils sont énumérés ci-dessous), puis dites le Notre Père (Nº 2.)

6. Recite 10 Hail Marys (see Nº 3), following the beads. Récitez 10 “Je vous salue Marie" (Nº 3,)  en suivant les perles.

7 & 8. Conclude each decade with Glory Be and Oh My Jesus before moving on to the next decade. Concluez chaque dizaine avec “Glorie au Père” et “O Mon Jésus” avant de passer à la prochaine dizaine.

13. After all the decades are complete, finish the sequence with a Hail Holy Queen, followed by a final prayer or the sign of the cross. À la fin, terminez la séquence avec un Hail Holy Queen, suivi d'une prière finale ou du signe de la croix.

Hail Holy Queen:

Hail, holy Queen, Mother of mercy, hail, our life, our sweetness and our hope. To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve: to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this vale of tears. Turn then, most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us, and after this our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus, O merciful, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary! Amen.

Nous vous saluons, Reine, Mere de misericorde, notre vie, notre joie, notre esperance, salut. Enfants d'Eve, nous crions vers vous de fond de notre exil. Nous soupirons vers vous, gemissant et pleurant dans cette vallee de larmes. O vous notre advocate, tournez vers nous vos regards misericordieux. Et apres l'exil de cette vie, montrez nous Jesus, le fruit beni de vos entrailles, tendre, aimante, douce vierge Marie. Priez pour nous, sainte Mere de Dieu. Afin que nous devenions dignes des promesses de Jesus Christ. Amen.

Final Prayer:

Let us pray. O God, whose only begotten Son, by His life, death, and resurrection has purchased for us the rewards of eternal life; grant, we beseech Thee, that meditating upon these mysteries of the most Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, we may imitate what they contain and obtain what they promise, through the same Christ Our Lord. Amen.

Prions: O Dieu dont le Fils unique, par sa vie, sa mort et sa resurrection, nous a merite, les recompenses du salut eternel, faites que, meditant ses mysteres dans le tres saint Rosaire de la bienheureuse Vierge Marie, nous mettions a profit les lescons qu'ils contiennent afin d'obtenir ce qu'ils nous font esperer. Par la meme Jesus-Christ, votre Fils notre Seigneur. Amen.

The Mysteries

For each decade, you’ll reflect on 1 of 5 certain events of Jesus’ life, depending on the day of the week. I usually like to pull up a classic painting of the event before I announce it, and look at it while I recite the Hail Marys.

Joyful Monday & Saturday | Mystères joyeux Lundi & samedi

The Annunciation, The Visitation, The Birth of Jesus, The Presentation in the Temple,  Finding of Jesus in the Temple

L'Annonciation, La Visitation, La Naissance de Jésus, La Présentation au Temple, Le Recouvrement au Temple Sorrowful Tuesday & Friday | Mystères douloureux Mardi & vendredi

Agony the Garden, Scourging at the Pillar, Crowning of Thorns, Carrying of the Cross, The Crucifixion

L'Agonie de Jésus, La Flagellation, Le Couronnement d'épines, Le Portement de la Croix, Le Crucifiement

Glorious Wednesday & Sunday | Mystères glorieux Mercredi & dimanche

Resurrection of Jesus, The Ascension, Pentecost, Assumption of the Virgin Mary, Coronation of Mary

La Résurrection de Jésus, L'Ascension, La Pentecôte, L'Assomption de la Saint-Vierge Maria, Le Couronnement de la Saint-Vierge Maria

Luminous Thursday | Mystères luminex Jeudi

Baptism of the Lord, Wedding Feast at Cana, Proclamation of the Kingdom of Heaven, The Transfiguration, Institution of the Eucharist

Baptême du Christ, Noces de Cana, Proclamation du Royaume, Transfiguration, L'institution de l'Eucharistie

Learn more about the mysteries here.

So there you have it! How to pray the rosary in both English and French.

I’m not a native speaker, so I almost certainly made some mistakes. Absolutely  correct me if you notice any. :)

[ijustwant2write]

This Is My Idea Of Fun-Robb Stark x Reader One Shot

(GIF credit to owner)

Masterlist

Summary: Requested by @lachicadelamanzana: ‘Hi! I requested the Jon Snow imagine stand up for yourself, but I was wondering if I could have another one with Robb? I have this idea about the swan princess, the film, where Robb is derek’

Characters: Robb Stark x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)= Your name (Y/L/N)= Your last name

Warnings: Bit of arguing and violence

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Please father, don’t make me go!” I whined as he dragged me by my arm.

“(Y/N), I will not ask again. Get in the carriage. You are acting like a child.” father’s fingers gripped my skin, making it red.

“You make me go every year and I hate it.”

He suddenly stopped, pulling me closer to him.“(Y/N) you must realise that this is very important. You and Robb Stark have been betrothed since you were young, you will be married. His parents and I did not have to set up these meetings every summer but we did because we believe it would be beneficial if you knew each other.”

I glared at him. I didn’t want to fall out with him, I loved my father, but when he made me do things like this, I could sometimes despise him. Doing as he said, I stopped resisting, finally getting in the carriage. Trying not to show my anger, I stared out the window, hoping that this journey would be long. Winterfell wasn’t the problem, who lived within the walls was.

As my father had said, Robb and I were planned to be married from birth. Our parents decided that every other summer, we would visit each other, they hoped that we would fall for one another or at least become good friends. In a series of unfortunate events, that did not happen. All I remember of him is how I would be left out of games, teased and left behind by him. It was embarrassing. I did not like Robb, not in the slightest. He didn’t show any respect.

After a few days of traveling, we finally made it. I knew the route like the back of my hand now. Entering the gates, we were greeted by the Stark family as well as some of their servants. It had been at least two years since our last visit (there had been far more important matters at hand), though I could see how the children had changed; especially Robb. Although I was not fond of him, I could still see how he had matured into a handsome, young man. Standing beside my father, I watched as the typical greetings were traded, waiting to be announced.

“Lady (Y/L/N), it is always lovely to see you.” Lady Catelyn smiled.

I returned the smile, curtsying slightly.“The pleasure is mine. Thank you again for allowing us to stay in your beautiful home.”

Lies, all lies.

Settling into my room, I took a moment to sit on the bed. Forgetting all of my lessons about how a lady should compose herself, I let my posture slouch, letting out a deep breath. This felt like such a chore. I may have not wanted to sympathise with Robb, but I could see how it was tormenting both of us. Neither of us wanted to marry. After the first few meetings, I thought our parents would have given up. That definitely wasn’t the case.

Someone knocked on the door and I instantly knew who it was. Standing from the bed, I called them in, trying not to drown when I saw Robb.

“My lady, I hope I am not disturbing you.” he started, closing the door behind him.

“No my lord, I have just finished unpacking.” I said.

He hesitated.“How was your journey?”

“You do not have to ask me any questions. I know your mother makes you come up here every time. Go back to playing with swords or whatever it is you do.” Crossing my arms over my chest, I expected him to leave.

He scoffed slightly.“Actually, I do not always do as my mother says.”

That threw me off.“You mean you came here intentionally?”

“Yes.”

“Oh…why?” I let my arms rest by my side, genuinely interested in his answer.

“We are getting married no matter what, we both know that.”

My gaze went to the ground.

“I have been thinking over the past couple of years, and I have come to the conclusion that all of this arguing is foolish.”

I stayed silent.

“I do not want to constantly fight when we are married. It just doesn’t seem right.”

“Um…well, I understand.”

He smiled slightly.“I’m glad you do. I must go attend to some duties, but I shall see you at the feast tonight.”

He still seemed arrogant throughout that conversation, as if all the arguing was solely by fault. Huffing, I walked over the window, looking out across what would be my new home. All these new people, new duties, new husband; it was too much to bear.

Later in the evening, my handmaid was preparing me for the feast being thrown. I knew how the evening would go. Robb and I would be forced to sit together, engage in conversation and dance at least once. I wondered if it was plainly obvious to those around is that we hated each other? Of course it was, who was I kidding? Staring at myself in the mirrror, I stayed silent as my hair was plaited, trying to think of how to speak to Robb tonight. It seemed that he really didn’t want to argue. Our parents were probably growing tired of it too, we could cause a lot of embarrassment in one night.

Robb was to escort me to the hall as he always did. They used to make us do it as children too. When he knocked, I tried to smile as my handmaid opened the door. Without a word being said, I looked my arm through his, walking in step. We were silent for a while, obviously not sure how to talk without bickering. It turned out we didn’t speak until the doors opened to the hall. My eyes widened at the amount of people in there.

Robb saw my discomfort.“There are a lot more bannermen than usual, I know. Father has been making many new alliances.” We entered the room, pushing through the crowds.

“Yes, I can see that. W-why are they all here?” I was beginning to get nervous.

“He always invites them to feasts, just to keep them on his good side.” Eventually making it to our seats, I spotted my father sat next to Nedd, Catelyn on his other side. Robb and I sat together too, waiting for the food to be brought out. I was cringing from the awkwardness. How the hell was this marriage supposed to work out if we couldn’t even have a normal conversation? Nedd saved us by making an announcement, welcoming us once again before starting the feast. The food was magnificent as it always was, giving me an excuse not to speak to Robb. However, when the music changed from a calm background noise to a fast paced, upbeat melody, I groaned. Now it was time for dancing.

I didn’t miss the glare Catelyn sent her eldest child, gesturing for him to take me down to where the dancing was commencing. He cleared his throat, asking me to dance before we unenthusiastically walked away. Taking our place amongst the other couples dancing, we got into the position, waiting for our que. We started to waltz to the rhythm, still avoiding eye contact.

“You look beautiful tonight, my lady.” he suddenly said.

I was caught off guard, blushing profusely.“Oh, thank you my lord.”

“I am sorry that I have not made such an effort to get to know you. It would benefit us both, don’t you think?”

Where was all of this coming from?

“Well yes, that seems wise. May I ask why the sudden change of heart?”

He smiled.“Why, I’m marrying a gorgeous woman. It just seems right to out our differences aside.”

“Robb, why do you want to suddenly marry me? Is it just for my looks?”

His smile faltered slightly.“W-what else is there?”

I immediately stopped dancing. Yanking my hands out of his, I shoved past him before running out of the hall. The looks I was receiving didn’t phase me. I needed to get out of that room, far away from Robb. For a moment I thought things were going well, that we could maybe work through it. Obviously he had only one thing on his mind and it wasn’t my personality. Slamming the bedroom door shut, I let out a muffled scream into a pillow, frustrated and upset over how my life was going to turn out. I was going to be stuck with a man who didn’t love me for me, his only interests were how I would look standing next to him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

No one but my father disturbed me that night. He attempted to comfort me, though really it was him trying to convince me that Robb didn’t mean those things, he was just intimidated. Even my father wouldn’t show sympathy.

I woke unusually early, the sun was just rising, slightly warming the harsh, North night. My back ached as I had slept in my dress (which included a corset), the pins in my hair were digging into my scalp and I couldn’t believe that my heels had stayed on. Rubbing my eyes as I stood, I decided to strip off this outfit, opting for something a lot comfier. Settling into my riding clothes, I plaited my hair again. I may have looked a little rough but that really didn’t matter to me. I just wanted to get out of there.

There were some people already up, preparing their stores or heading to work. This wasn’t a terrible place, it was quite lovely actually. Heading to the stables, I spotted one of our horses, smiling at the thought of having some time to myself. The stable boy wasn’t present, though I didn’t need him, it just meant one less person to worry about seeing.

Riding had always been fun for me. The horses were always kind hearted and well trained, perfect companions for long rides. I would only travelling to the Godswood, I knew the way after all these years. I didbt rush there, wanting to take the peacefulness in. But I knew I couldn’t dawdle, I would have to be back in time for breakfast. Deciding to walk the rest of it, I slid off my horse, grabbing the reins, letting it trail slightly behind me. This was soothing, calming.

I spoke too soon.

Two men jumped out at me from behind the trees, startling my horse as well as me. I let out a scream as they charged for me. Whipping out my knife, I tried to defend myself but was easily taken down. As I went to swing, one of them grabbed my arm and twisted it backwards, a cry of pain echoing throughout the forest. The other stood in front as I was restrained, stupid smirk on his face.

“Stupid highborn, you shouldn’t be out here all alone.” he teased.“You just make it too easy for us.”

I struggled against the man’s hold, stomping my legs to try and hurt him. Nothing I did was working, it was hopeless. The man in front of me had my knife as well as his own, having a much higher advantage than before. He waved them around as they both laughed, happy that their victim was of a high status.

The one restraining me whispered in my ear, making me squirm.“We’re going to hurt you and your father will give us a lot of money in return for your safety. Perhaps he might pay more of we do some really nasty things to you.”

As he finished his sentence, his accomplice let out a grunt, blood spilling from his mouth. Looking down to his chest, an arrow poked through, his body collapsing to the floor. The man held me tighter, weaponless now that his friend was dead.

“Let her go and no harm will come to you.” a voice called out.

It was Robb! He stood in front of us, wielding a bow and arrow. His face showed immense anger, a dangerous look in his eyes. The man instantly let go of me, shoving me to the ground.

He started to plead for his life.“Please don’t kill me! I-I was f-forced into this-”

An arrow went flying into his torso. Slowly getting onto his knees, he looked down at his chest, falling backwards. I scrambled onto my feet towards Robb, suddenly crying.

“Are you ok?! Did they hurt you?!” He rushed, pulling me close to him.

I couldn’t reply for a while, too in shock. All I could do was nod.

“Why were you out here alone?”

“I-I just needed some time to myself. After last night…”

He gently put an arm around me, guiding me away from the dead bodies. My eyes were fixated on the ground until we stopped walking. Raising my eye line, I recognised the bright red leaves and grey tree before me. We were in the Godswood. He sat down on a fallen log, gesturing for me to do so. He didbt ask any other questions until I had stopped crying.

“I am sorry that I upset you. It was not my intention.” he started.

I sniffed, wiping away tears.

“Apart from the last thing I said to you, all my other words were true. I really do think that we could make this marriage work.”

I looked at him.“I just don’t understand why you said that? Well actually, I do, you were always horrible to me.”

“I know. It was childish behaviour. I was young, I wanted to hurt you in hopes that our parents wouldn’t make us marry.”

“Yes, you were a little shit.”

He quietly laughed.“Indeed. As for my words the other night…I was scared about it all. I can fight men with swords, bows and arrows, my bare fists even, but when it comes to expressing his I feel….I become a coward. I am genuinely sorry for the sadness I have brought upon you, especially since it made you come out here alone and almost get hurt.”

I sat a little straighter.“I hope you are telling the truth because I really want to have a happy life. I don’t want to be stuck in another home with a husband I can’t even stand to look at.”

“Nor I.”

“I know that it’s going to take a while to trust one another, though I believe we can do it. But for now, friends?”

He nodded in agreement.“Yes, friends.”

[shirleyoconnell]

Bacterial Vaginosis Management Of Type Creative And Inexpensive Useful Tips

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Bacterial Vaginosis Treatment At Walgreens

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Can Bacterial Vaginosis Cause Swollen Lymph Nodes

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[fftype0novel]

Vol. 1, Ch. 0, Pt. 5

[5]

Ok wow this was late, sorry! I’ve had this part done for months. It hasn’t been proofread much, but I decided to go back and do major edits later.

We’re getting to the end of Chapter 0 at long last. 

And thus, the fated day arrived.

Seagull Calendar 842, 12th of the Month of Water[1].  On that day, Izana had been out on a mission to patrol the area around Akademeia with Karan since the previous night.

They were looking within a ten kilometer vicinity of Akademeia on chocobos to confirm whether what their Byakko intelligence operatives said about an invasion was true. There had been many suspicious changes within Byakko since the beginning of the year, but this past week had been quiet.

That should have felt ominous, but since he did not know about this state of affairs, Karan was at ease.

“Alright! Patrol finished. Let’s return to Akademeia, shall we?”

“Yeah, that’s right-” As he spoke, Izana closed his mouth.

Karan asked him, puzzled, “What’s wrong, Izana?”

“No, it’s noth– what’s that?”

Izana pointed ahead of them. Something black was floating in the northwestern sky.

He thought it was a flock of migratory birds, but it wasn’t. It was drawing closer to the direction of Akademeia rapidly. A sound like the hum of machinery resounded through the dawn sky.

He understood when he heard it. That was not a flock of migratory birds...

“It’s Byakko’s airships!”

At Izana’s raised voice, Karan’s eyes widened.

“It can’t be! The battleships got this far!? What the heck is the border guard doing!?”

“They probably broke through the frontlines…! The garrison would be helpless against such a force.”

They could see five battleships. In the middle of the fleet was the Invincible Class warship, which boasted the biggest hull and fighting power of the Byakko Air Force. Its overall length was 256 meters, with a max speed of 254 kilometers per hour.

Their fears had finally come to pass. Byakko had come to invade Suzaku!

“This is bad, let’s return, Karan! We’ll return to Akademeia to ask for our next orders!”

“Y-yes!”

Izana and Karan took up the chocobos’ reins and hurried to Akademeia.

Although they had returned to Akademeia, about fifteen minutes had already passed. They crossed the long bridge and saw that Suzaku citizens had formed a crowd in front of the gates.

There was probably more than 500 people there. It wasn’t possible to ride the chocobos through such a crowd of people. Izana and Karan dismounted from the chocobos and clapped their rumps.

“Chichiri, it’s dangerous here! Run away, go around back!”

With a cry of “Keh!” the chocobos broke into a run, avoiding the crowd. A voice called out to Izana and Karan, who were seeing the chocobos off.

“Oh, so you’re back, you two!”

Looking back, their bearded platoon leader was there. Izana and the forty comrades that made up their squad were also gathered.

“Izana Kunagiri reporting!”

“Karan Asajima, reporting! Sir, an explanation of the situation, please!”

At Karan’s voice, platoon leader nodded and answered.

“Our intelligence is also complicated...but in any case, a few hours ago we received a declaration of war from Byakko. At the same time, their fleet amassed in the vicinity of the national border, and seem to have marched on every single town in the Suzaku region.”

“So that means, it’s really!?”

“Yes, war. An all-out-war with Byakko has begun.” The platoon leader ground his teeth together. “The enemy fleet’s objective is most likely to either possess or destroy our Suzaku Crystal. No matter what, we must prevent them from doing so.”

As the platoon leader had said, if the Crystal was stolen, Izana and the others would lose their magic. If that happened they would lose their means to fight and would probably lose right away.

“There’s an emergency gathering of all of the army personnel in Akademeia. We have but one objective, to push back that air fleet with all of our strength! Listen up everyone, this is the one battle we cannot afford to lose!”

“Yes, sir!”

At the same time that Izana and Karan answered, the platoon leader nodded vigorously.

“Good! Well then, soldiers, let’s start this war! The rise and fall of our motherland rests on this one battle! Let’s show those guys from Byakko the power of the Suzaku Crystal!”

“Yeah!”

The troops including Izana simultaneously let out a battle cry. Identical voices from the other squads also rose.

They turned their eyes to the northwestern sky. Byakko’s air fleet would soon reach them. A great number of soldiers were lowered by parachute. The ranks of the army corps armed with guns and artillery joined together and advanced on Akademeia.

The 500 mages kept their eyes on the advancing Byakko army and each of them began to chant a magic spell. When they were all about finished, the platoon leader raised his solemn voice.

“...Commence attack! May the Crystal’s divine protection be with you!”

At the same time as that voice, an innumerable amount of fireballs, blocks of ice, lightning, poison smoke, violent winds, and flashes of light were aimed and fired at the enemy army.

Thus, the curtain rose on the battle.

In the battle that would later be called the “Defensive Battle of Akademeia”, at first it looked to be moving in favor of Suzaku. The attacks of the Byakko Army were severe, but Suzaku created gigantic walls of light using protective wall magic (Wall)[2] and defended themselves with gunfire and bombardment. Furthermore, summons from another dimension were called upon, commencing a large-scale counterattack.

The flying dragon Bahamut destroyed all with a ray of light. That breath attack, superior to the Invincible Class battleship’s defensive power, shot down several ships. Even more Byakko Army soldiers were burned to the ground and it was believed that the enemy’s surprise attack was checked at the coastline.

--However, it was about three hours since the start of the war. It was now 10:06.

An unusual event befell Izana and the Suzaku Army.

“Fire!”

Izana pointed his fist at the enemy soldier as he shouted. However, the fireball was not fired. Did he use up all his magic? I should use an ether [5], he thought. Then, his thoughts stopping there, Karan’s voice rose from beside him.

“I-Izana...This is weird. I can’t use any magic!”

“Eh!?”

At Karan’s surprise, Izana looked at him. He had an expression of bewilderment.

“Have you exhausted your magic?”

“No, I haven’t! I just took an ether! And I still can’t use any magic!”

“What…!?”

What does that mean? Is the medicine not working? Just then, one by one similar voices rise up from the surrounding area.

“What the hell, I can’t use any magic!”

“What, you too!?”

“We’ve run out of magic all at once!?”

The commotion was growing bitter. Without understanding a thing, they looked around at each other’s faces.

“W-what’s happening…!?” Izana muttered.

Karan shouted in grief, “This can’t be...has the enemy destroyed the Suzaku Crystal!?”

Everyone’s bodies shook at those words. But the platoon leader immediately shot them down.

“Calm down! The enemy army may be holding us back here, but there is no possible way that the Crystal has been destroyed!”

It was certainly as the platoon leader said. And furthermore, the Suzaku Crystal was enshrined within Akademeia’s innermost depths. Only the government’s top officials knew the path leading to it.

It wasn’t as if the enemy could make it to the Crystal’s location so easily.

“But then leader, why can’t we use magic!?” Izana asked.

The platoon leader’s expression was bitter.

“I do not know! I do not know, but clearly… clearly we have lost our means to fight.”

The platoon leader turned his eyes towards the enemy.

The enemy soldiers and armadas’ bombardment rained down upon the wall magic that had been deployed before they lost their magic. The wall of light seemed to be on the verge of breaking.

“Oh no, it won’t last much longer…! Everyone, let’s evacuate!”

The platoon leader’s order came too late.

An instant later, broke into pieces and scattered, and shells came flying at Izana and the others.

There was no time to escape. There was a burst of light and explosive flames, and Izana and the others were blown away.

How long had he been passed out for after that? At last, Izana opened his eyes.

The first thing displayed in his field of vision was a group of corpses. And the gates of Akademeia, which had been destroyed by cannon fire.

“Argh…!”

Izana stood, enduring a body full of pain. Beside him was a bearded man and a man in his mid twenties.

Those two were most likely my comrades. But I can’t remember either of their names.

The Death Memory Lapse -- It had been awhile since Izana experienced it.

That was why he wasn’t sad. It was an empty feeling, as if he was missing a portion of his memories.  Holding that in his mind, his injured body was revitalized, and Izana began to walk towards Akademeia.

Passing through the gates and exiting the front gardens, a hollow sigh left his mouth.

“Ah…”

Byakko’s airships were anchored in the skies above Akademeia. He could see soldiers descending from there by parachutes. It seemed as if Izana wasn’t the only one unable to use magic. Suzaku, which had lost its defensive power, was being overrun by Byakko.

He still didn’t know the reason why they had lost their magic. At any rate, Izana headed to Central Command to gather more information.

Avoiding the enemy soldiers strutting about the front gardens, he entered Akademeia from the rear entrance. Passing through the entrance, he opened the doors to Central Command’s control room.

There was unprecedented chaos inside. The army’s top brass was all wildly shouting with expressions of grief.

“I already know we can’t use magic! Aren’t there any units that can fight without magic!?”

“Stop relying on the cadets! Gather up the soldiers and officers and assign them to Akademeia’s defenses!”

“But if we do that, the difference in military force will be overwhelming! We have to regain control of the Crystal’s power…!”

Listening to the exchange, Izana’s expression distorted. In this kind of situation, there was no way he could ask for directions. No one in that place knew what should be done.

So what should I do? Izana thought as a woman who had been inside the control room came walking towards him.

“You, you’re Izana Kunagiri?”

“Eh!? Who--” He stopped in the middle of his sentence, instantly realizing who it was. He remembered seeing that woman’s face before.

Wearing glasses and large priest’s robes, a beautiful woman of unknown age. It was the Magic Department’s Director, Aresia al-Rashia. She was not a direct acquaintance, but he had seen her countless times at ceremonies. Izana brought the heels of his shoes together and answered.

“Yes, ma’am! I am Izana Kunagiri of the 9th platoon! But why do you know my name?”

“I heard of you from Ace. You’re right on time.”

Under such a tense situation, Areshia spoke languidly, but Izana had a lot of questions.

“And, what you are saying is…?”

“You are the liaison in charge of Class Zero. I have a mission to give you now.”

Izana’s heartbeat jumped heavily in his chest at those words. It seemed as though it was time to fulfill the promise he made with Ace.

“Please tell me what I can do.”

“Well then, it’s noisy in here. I’ll explain the situation to you outside.”

Areshia led Izana outside the control room. Leaning against the wall in the corridor, she began to explain.

“First, about the reason everyone has lost their magic...that is due to the power of Byakko’s new weapon, the ‘Crystal Jammer’.”

“Crystal Jammer?”

“A type of magic powered machine has deployed a field that is incapacitating the Suzaku Crystal. As the external bureau has come to understand it, Byakko has seemingly developed that sort of weapon.”

“Then why didn’t we know about this?”

“Because the Crystal Jammer requires a vast amount of energy to activate, it was impossible for the Byakko Crystal to supply that energy to activate it. We thought that just by being vigilant we could stop it, but...any any rate, without our awareness Byakko successfully implemented it.”

“So you’re saying that it’s been activated somewhere?!”

Areshia nodded at his question.

“The enemy’s spy unit slipped past the defense line, carried the Crystal Jammer onto Akademeia’s premise, and activated it. At the moment the Jammer has been installed in the Arena, and is stealing the Suzaku Crystal’s magic from there.”

“So if we destroy it, we’ll be able to use magic again!?”

“Yes. However, destroying the jammer is not a feat that any normal human can easily accomplish. Enemy soldiers have been gathered around the jammer, and amassed a line of defense.”

Areshia spoke as if she had seen it herself. Most likely, through some magical means, just before the Crystal Jammer had been activated, she had been looking into the enemy army’s movements.

“Then what should we do!? Without being able to use magic, to breach the enemy’s defenses--”

“There is only one unit that can accomplish that,” Areshia said with a small smile, “Class Zero. Only those children can freely use magic while in range of the Jammer’s influence.”

“What - why!?”

“I do not have the time to explain. Ace and the others are special, that is all.”

He wanted to find out if it was true or not, but there really was no time. This was their only hope. He had no choice but to believe.

As Izana thought that, Areshia gazed at him and said:

“In any case, Izana Kunagiri, I have a mission to give you. At the moment the twelve members of Class Zero, including Ace, are rushing towards Akademeia by airship from the external bureau. As soon as those children arrive, please give this to them,” she said, taking something out of her breast pocket. It was a white sphear about 2 centimeters in diameter.

“What is that?”

“A new model communications instrument developed by the external bureau, the COMM. It is a magic tool that allows one to call faraway allies without drawing upon the Suzaku Crystal’s power. If that makes it over to Ace and the others’ hands, they will be able to receive precise instructions. If we can do that, we may be able to reverse this unfavorable position...” Areshia said, handing the COMM to Izana. The hand that accepted it trembled. Such a small sphere could shape Suzaku’s fate.

While that weight, Izana asked a question.

“…Where should I go to get in touch with Ace?”

“On the other side of Akademeia, the southern end of the soldiers’ quarters in the residential district. A rendezvous point has been prepared ahead of time. Those children were told to report there in case of an emergency.”

“In that case, please leave it to me…I will definitely, without fail, hand this over to him,” Izana said as he put the COMM into his pocket and broke off into a run.

In order to reunite with Ace, and to fulfill his own duty —

[1] The Month of Water is February. February in Japanese is 水月, but it’s written 水の月 here, so I translated it as Month of Water.

[2] As usual, protective wall magic was written in the paragraph with the spell “Wall” in parentheses.

[3] Ether was captioned as restorative medicine.

[thecloudlight-blog]

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Malware Uses Fake WordPress Sensitive Cookies

Security researchers from Sucuri have located hacked WordPress sites that have been altered to secretly siphon off cookies for user and admin accounts to a rogue domain imitating the WordPress API.

The attacker becomes sending stolen cookies to code.Wordprssapi[.]com, a domain that turned into imitating a non-existent WordPress carrier.

Sucuri’s Cesar Anjos says he determined this malware during an incident response, hidden at the bottom of legitimate JavaScript files.

JavaScript malware designed to thieve cookies The malware’s cause was to steal cookies and send it to the reliable-looking domain whenever a consumer accessed the site and loaded the JavaScript code.

The target of this malware appears to be administrator money owed

And now not normal users, who commonly don’t have money owed at the website online, and their cookies are commonly barren of any useful records.

On the alternative hand, the cookie documents for website administrators include records that may be used to mimic the admin without having to recognize the site password. This sort of attack, named session hijacking, might allow the attacker to access the website online’s backend, in which he can then create a new admin consumer for himself.

Sucuri experts did not say how this code was loaded on the hacked website, however, the WordPress CMS environment is known to be pretty insecure, thanks to a plethora of old topics and plugins. WordPress customers that use old themes and plugins unwittingly disclose their site to all sorts of vulnerabilities that can allow hackers to take manipulate of their site, or as in this example, gain an initial foothold to carry out more complicated attacks.

While the WordPress crew cannot pressure subject and plugin builders to keep their code up to date always, they do display warnings on the WordPress Plugins repo each time users are seeking to set up outdated plugins.

How Malware Works

Malware is a software this is made in particular to damage or disable computers and computer systems. Its name is truly derived from the term malicious software program and it seeks to benefit get entry to the computer without the owner understanding anything approximately it. The proprietor may not recognize how or whilst it got into the pic, but they’ll find out it did while the laptop begins appearing up, walking slowly or there is a big jump in the quantity of ads that seem.

Malware comes in many paperwork. It can take the shape of adware, keyloggers, worms or viruses, however, they all do the equal factor to a laptop: they mess with the running system and gain get admission to your statistics, that could lead to identification robbery.

Malware commenced off as an experiment or a big joke but now can garner big cash for the one’s criminals who impose it on unsuspecting PC users. They could make cash by the pressured aware that we ought to undergo, they are able to thieve our bank codes and passwords to gain access to our accounts and they could music our internet browsing history and unfold e-mail spam to absolutely everyone in our cope withe-book. There is malware anywhere, and we typically download it unintentionally with different programs that we really want on our PC. It piggybacks on with the good things and embeds itself into our working machine and there it remains causing its wrath until we determine out the way to take away it.

So how do you put off malware? The satisfactory remedy is preventing it from entering your PC in the first region. This method being extremely cautious what documents you download from the net and reading all of the user records before hitting the download button. Another superb way to save you malware is with the aid of the usage of an awesome safety machine and including a service like Malwarebytes for your laptop in an effort to test for those viruses each day which makes elimination that extra powerful. Taking advantages of the updates that pop up from depended on sources is also a first rate manner to guard towards malware as they up the security and era for the machine itself.

It all else fails, take your laptop on your relied on laptop repair keep in which they’ll have the realize the way to rid your laptop of the pesky malware this is making your lifestyles and your PC miserable.

Is It Worth Hiring A WordPress Consultant?

When it comes to hiring a person for a WordPress associated job, it, in reality, relies upon who you watched is the right person for the activity. You can hire a freelancer, a WordPress enterprise, a decent developer or a WordPress representative. But no longer all situations demand a WordPress representative. Similarly, no longer all tasks can be accomplished by way of a freelancer.

It depends on lots of things.

Nature of Work

For simple tasks like e-newsletter integration or customization of a subject matter, you may method a first rate freelancer or a developer.

If you want a custom WordPress website for your enterprise, you definitely want to method either a corporation or an able WordPress developer.

If you’re a small, medium sized or huge commercial enterprise house, you need extra than just a custom website solution. You want a properly-behaved website, a success on-line presence, search engine optimization optimized web page and conversion price optimization. You will want to run numerous advertising and marketing campaigns.

This includes the discovery, making plans, implementation, and deployment. A Consultant is a proper character for this type of process (period).

A WordPress Consultant will start with assessing the desires of a website for the commercial enterprise/business enterprise, will work out a plan and talk the possible solutions. He will take the reins in his arms to supply a site that takes your business to the next level. The recognition of a WordPress Consultant is on handing over the website online that generates sales and drives sales.

Budget

You can rent a freelancer at a very low rate. You can discover a freelancer to happily work for you for as low as $5 in step with hr. The problem is freelancers test at the price of your internet site. Many of my clients have shared their terrible memories of running with the freelancers. Some of them really worth citing are:

– The work brought become no longer as in line with the expectations. – After the cut-off date was over, freelancer informed that he was no longer capable enough to offer the answer. – I need to method the freelancer every so often to get the website fixed. My internet site breaks with each WordPress / plugin update.

So essentially operating with reasonably-priced freelancers come at its very own value.

Hiring a decent WordPress developer, the only who has an established identification is a higher alternative than going for a freelancer. They price somewhere inside the range of $25 – $one hundred on the hourly foundation.

WordPress groups and WordPress consultants are at the higher quit. They fee for the price and the high quality they provide. Their costs generally vary relying on the type of undertaking necessities you have. If you are an enterprise house, it’s better to rent a WordPress consultant. This will save you a variety of pain for a bit greater fee.

Why Your Affiliate Marketing Business Loves Cookies

Affiliate advertising is the system of earning a commission by way of promoting and selling another enterprise’s merchandise or provider. Becoming a success associate marketer way expertise cookies. But this has nothing to do with the favorite candy deal with! It’s how your affiliate marketing commercial enterprise guarantees you get paid for any income you generate.

What is A Cookie?

An HTTP “cookie” is a type of message this is given to a web browser via a web server. This is used to discover customers and net surfers, personalize online reviews and track facts. Cookie era works for several things. For example, it works when your PC “remembers” your password when you log into one in all your on-line debts.

How Do Cookies Work for Affiliate Marketers?

Cookies are an affiliate marketer’s exceptional friend. When you promote a product as an affiliate, the product proprietor will allocate you a completely unique associated URL or associate hyperlink.

When a person clicks on your associate link, a cookie is placed in their browser. This means that their computer stores the data that announce you’re the person who directed the visitor to that website. If that character makes a purchase, the affiliate agency can music that sale lower back to you and pay you your fee.

Not All Cookies Are Created Equal

From the primary time a person clicks on considered one of your affiliate hyperlinks, you can earn commissions for the specific cookie duration.Different associated packages have one-of-a-kind lifespans for his or her cookies.

For instance, in case you promote products as an Amazon affiliate, your cookie will handiest be valid for twenty-four hours. That approach that the internet site visitor needs to buy within 24 hours if that sale is to be credited to you.

This is why you must choose your affiliate organizations very cautiously. Some associate advertising and marketing models permit for 30, 60, ninety days or even 1-year cookie length. Some offer lifetime cookies!

Marketing Affiliate Programs

When any person buys something from a website that you, as an associate, have directed them to, the cookie shares your affiliate ID. The product owner then knows which you are the associate and that any commission from that sale ought to be paid to you. Obviously, it is extremely vital which you use the perfect associate ID on all your hyperlinks to make certain you get your commissions.

The one problem to take into account approximately with cookies is if a capacity patron uses a one-of-a-kind computer to search once more to buy the product, your associate ID will now not be stored on that machine. It’s not a primary trouble though as most people use the same laptop, computer or tablet to shop for products and services on-line.