#Ike will never get a break
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i want to say first of all that i fully respect a community's/denomination's/culture's right to have closed practices. i am not entitled to other people's traditions, and when i am a guest in a space i understand that everything is not automatically for me. and i know i do not have to understand to respect.
and also! when i go to a catholic church and can't receive communion i want to fall on the floor weeping. what do you mean i can't have him he's right there. sorry my baptism was the wrong kind of baptism. i'm hungry and you want me to become someone else before being fed.
#lutheran alert but will NEVER understand closed communion. i respect it. but i do not get it#none of us will ever be holy enough to hold jesus within us but we do every day anyway. and so we are#communion is what brings me to god. to put a barrier of entry on that. to say you have to believe certain things or be in a certain state?#idk it doesn't sit right with me.#again i respect it i have catholic family ik the beliefs/history/good intentions.#but i need to come out as an open communion fan#roman catholicism didn't exist yet at the last supper. jesus said do this in remembrance of me.#everyone who does this has already fulfilled the requirements to be present at the table#i think that was the only hard part of my grandfather's conversion. that he could break bread for me at the altar but couldn't give it to m#i would give anything to watch him preach one more time (he's retired/sick now)#but more than that i would give anything to be fed by him again. to eat with him as our lord commanded#just once.#i will have to be satisfied with the foretastes of the feasts to come that i have received from/with him. we'll have that again
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HEHE <3 I’m glad you got the symbolism lol, it’s a bit of deviation from the base metaphor but the vision was too strong to not draw hfbfhhf.
forgor to mention, but will say this was drawn like immediately after you mentioned that Don thought they were leaving him to die during the close scene. I imagine Don’s need to know how long he’d spent there definitely stemmed at least partially from the fear and knowledge that with every second he spent there, the closer he was to a very, very painful dark and lonely death.
Also- irony! An aquatic turtle drowning in dry sand, mocked for its foolishness in coming up to land (even when it was once his habitat too)
YOU DREW THAT IN AN HOUR OR LESS?????? thats INSANEEEEEEE and im JEALOUS lmfao
also yes for sure!! four days is such a horrifyingly long time, he was starving and dehydrated and dizzy, especially because he'd hit his head several times. in CL he takes them at their word a lot (because why would they lie?) but he KNOWS the three hours thing was a lie. he KNEW. there's no way that could have been three hours--- at least, he clung to it as desperate hope that it would be true, because he doesn't trust himself fully enough to be one hundred percent on pretty much any judgement he makes on his own.
when he broke down crying when learning about it i cant really say it was relief, he was too overwhelmed to be relieved. it really put into perspective the reality of HOW cruel they were, knowing that he could have died. if he was a human person there's a very good chance he would have died. he thought he was GOING to die and he was so scared he was making up how awful it was in his head again. and he didn't eat for six days and didn't drink for four. it hurts to think about, and he can't help but wonder what would have happened had he not broken and screamed to be let out when they joked about leaving him behind.
#ask#canary continuity#ughhh donnie goes through so many long stretches of not eating in the later half of CL....#actually him breaking down when finally getting to eat for the first time is one of my favorite scenes in CW so far#its just so heartbreaking. especially how he admits that there was a moment he accepted he'd never eat again :(#that moment with the water bottle is similar its aghhhh#its pathetic but not in a mockable way . its the only word i can use to describe it#he's been gutted for everything and he cant hide how vulnerable he feels anymore :((((#need to slam my own hurt comfort buttons more. because ik people love when i do that LOL
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Really wanna write a dsmp fic based on that one bit where techno doesn’t believe tommy is dead, but then he doesn’t get resurrected after three days and techno has to slowly come to the realisation that the person he used to care about so much (and still does deep down) is really dead.
#amd then he beats up dream and tommy gets revived and they sorta make up and everything’s great#possibly#the desire to angst vs the desire to happy ending#I mean either way Tommys not staying dead dreams to much of an obsessive bitch for that#in my bedrock bros era rn#ik that moment was a bit fourth wall breaking but is is not the spirit of dsmp fanfiction to take sorta canon fourth wall breaking moments#and make cool character moments out of them#late night ramblings#dream smp#dsmp#c!techno#c!technoblade#technoblade#he never dies (:#c!tommy#c!tommyinnit#tommyinnit
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hot take, but the "i dump your ass" line wasn't even funny and was just super ooc…….
#out.#(for that matter i also think the neverending story scene was so horrible and was the most unnecessary thing in the history of televison.#literally gives me second hand embarrassment. but i don't think people are willing to hear that yet...#and suzie's family. that was a shit show. people rly say they should have their own spinoff.... like i was embarrassed watching that crap.)#BUT ANYWAY.#ik jane was really looking up to max in that scene and all.#and we know she learns by doing and copying but. it was more about the break of trust between mike and jane that made her so upset.#but idk... jane just saying i dump ur ass has never ever sat well with me.#WHICH DOESNT MATTER bc that whole story isnt canon obvi for my jane BUT.#yeah. hot take over.#and i think jane would want to know WHY mike lied to her. she would want to talk to him and understand. rather than just physically sweepin#it under the rug.#rather than moving on. jane would not be able to have an enjoyable night knowing that mike lied to her. she wouldn't just walk away from it#with a snarky comment.#and it's scenes like this that show just how lost the d*ffers get with her character.#and do not understand her after s2!
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slow dancing with ike
turning up to luca’s 12 minutes stream early in the game when you can dance with your wife got me in the mood to listen to some romantic oldies while writing my next request but then blue moon by dean martin came up, and i made the connection that ike is blue, and that he sings, and that you can dance with your wife and agh argh aggh just take the fluffy warmup
update from the day after i wrote that author’s note: just finished the 12 minutes stream. no spoilers but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AUAUGH AUGH GGGHAHHH AAAAGGAAAH GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH [distant minecraft injury noise]
anyways check this out while you read i promise it’s worth it
tags: fluff, just straight unadulterated fluff, yeah okay i finally used älskling are you happy now, gender neutral reader
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Hey. Hug me?”
Ike wraps himself around your body, and you sink into his embrace. As gentle as the novelist is, when he holds you it’s always just enough that you feel sensitive but secure, like a treasured plushie.
You aren’t sure exactly what got you in a clingy mood today. You both spent the day on errands by yourselves, and by the time Ike got home after you, you were both too pooped to cook, so you called a delivery pizza and called it a day.
Maybe the candles had done it? Earlier that afternoon, you met up with a friend and he dumped some unused votives on you as thanks for a favor. When you got home, you figured you’d light them and try out the scent. Sure enough, your home was filled with an aroma that smelled something divine, and when the pizza arrived, neither of you bothered to flick the overhead light on and instead dined in the romantic candlelight with a decidedly unromantic dinner.
Doesn’t matter now. Your appetite was satisfied, and with Ike around your grasp, you were at peace. What a beautiful night, and what a beautiful man. He’s got to be an angel on Earth, there’s no way there’s someone this perfectly kind, perfectly witty, perfectly handsome just shows up naturally. And for you, no less, what a gift it is to be held by Ike!
You lift your head off his shoulder to aim for his lips, and when he meets your kiss you’re certain, this is your heaven.
The space in the crook of his neck is the perfect resting place for your head, and you lean back into him as you sway from one foot to another. A hand trails down his arm to meet his fingers and rises with his palm in yours, and just like that you’ve got him in a position perfect for slow dancing. In fact, he’s picked up what you’re trying to do already, and goes along with your lead.
“This is what we’re doing now?” Ike asks the question innocently, like he doesn’t know the answer.
“If you’d have me.”
“I’m not much of a dancer.”
“Me neither.” With the next step, you circle around your living room by the candlelight and sweet scent in the air. “I don’t really care for the complex styles of dancing with a partner. I just like doing it.”
“Well, I can’t complain about that.” Ike wasn’t lying about his inexperience. His first steps are unconfident, but he follows your initiative relatively well, and soon enough you move as one, simple but in sync.
The steps are slow, and when the circle is complete Ike lets go of one hand. You unravel yourself in a flourish, and before a moment passes you’re back in his grasp. The light tailwind brushes a lock of his hair to the side, and his seaglass eyes crinkle in quiet delight. “This is nice.”
“I’m surprised it took me this long to goad you into it,” you say. “I wish I played some music before we started, though. I don’t wanna leave, but dancing in silence is tough.”
“Let me remember something.”
Ike’s eyes close, and he squeezes your hand as if a silent plea to keep him safe, to never let him go. You keep a predictable rhythm and hold him closer. You’re leading, after all, and it wouldn’t do if you lost track of him when he trusts you to keep him steady.
When he returns to you there’s a faraway look in his seaglass, the type of foggy clarity that only comes to him when he has a song in mind. “Blue moon, you saw me standing alone with a dream in my heart, without a love of my own…”
You dance, and Ike sings. His voice meshes well with the rhythm you lead him in. The candlelight casts shadows upon his features as you place your lips along his cheek down his neck.
“Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for-” You don’t miss how his breath catches when your kiss falls right under his earlobe. “You heard me saying a prayer for someone I really could care for.”
The song pauses as you toy with his sensitive ears. You look up at him with a mix of pouting and pleading.
“Darling, if you want me to sing, then don’t tease me. That comes later.”
“Party pooper,” you joke.
But you obey, and weave your arms around his neck in a new embrace, more intimate than the last. Your head rests against his collar, and you catch a hint of his cologne. Coffee and traces of fruit follow you as you feel his heartbeat.
The song continues. “And then there suddenly appeared before me, the only one my arms will hold.”
Ike’s hands reposition. One curls around your waist to keep you stable, while the other cards through your hair. “I heard somebody whisper, ‘please adore me,’ and when I looked, the moon had turned to gold.”
The hand on your head tilts you to meet Ike’s eyes, glistening with tenderness through the green and blue. His gaze goes straight through your heart and into your core, until his long lashes flutter closed and his lips are against yours.
Ike is soft. He always has been, and there’s so much strength in being so soft. His mouth fits against yours perfectly, and every little movement enchants you more and more.
The hand on your waist pulls you closer, tighter, and travels up the small of your back along your spine to your shoulder while keeping your head in place even as you shift to get closer to him. You’re never close enough. But you still have him by the neck, and your nails glide along the nape of his neck as you cling to him. Just like that, his sweet kiss is even more magnetic.
Your eyes are slow to open once you part, but when they regain their vision Ike is the handsomest man in the world, and everything apart from him blurs away.
“Please don’t let me go,” you whisper. “Please don’t stop. I need you.”
“Älskling,” Ike purrs, and you can’t even pretend to resist anymore. You return another kiss like a second life. You pulse in pure adoration when you meet the other side of his mouth, so warm and inviting. Ike intoxicates you until every last thought is how he plays with your hair, how gorgeous his little noises are, how good it all feels.
You’ve never felt more loved.
#ike eveland#ike eveland x reader#luxiem x reader#nijisanji x reader#luxiem#nijisanji en#4402 writes#the amount of times i had to take a break because When's It Gonna Be My Turn#you are not immune to älskling#shoutout to the 1000000 blue moon covers i listened to so i could get a vibe on a tenor range for this song like ike#never found one but we can get... close? ish??
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btw this might be me swinging a bat at a hornets nest but like. absolutely none of my disappointment from the tl finale comes from ship baiting or any relationships that didn’t happen (though to be clear, i think the tedbecca fake outs were meanspirited and served no narrative purpose - in noted contrast to the season's earlier jamiekeeley fakeouts, for example, which were explicitly there to demonstrate jamie's growth + maturity)
tedpendant is a really fun concept for me, and i LOVE the characterisation + thematic potential there!
but as someone who personally resonated with a lot of ted’s struggles, the idea that ted could leave richmond so… seamlessly, for lack of a better word, really doesn’t sit right with me. the thesis of the shows entire first season - assuming it can be said to have only one - was about how everyone needs the love and support of a community, whether that comes in the flavour of someone who hypes u tf up or someone who will relentlessly call u on ur shit (or, as happened quite frequently, both!).
rebecca, roy, jamie are the clearest examples as the characters with the most screentime: they were all deeply isolated and disconnected from the people around them, and that was making them miserable. the connections they made with the team, the vulnerability they finally allowed themselves to express (the ghost banishing ceremony comes to mind!), and them going on to want *more* out of their life are what made their arcs about *progression* rather than *regression*. without that clear theme of compassion + community inspiring positive growth in everyone who encounters it, there is, frankly, no season one.
my personal favourite scene from season one comes right after michelle walks away from ted, when they’ve agreed to get divorced. ted sits down on the bench looking gutted, and a little shell shocked - and beard sits down with him. hands him the drink, and they sit there together. silent, but together. to me, that scene is an implicit promise from the episode, to the audience: ‘it’ll be okay. it’s going to be hard, but ted isn’t alone, and his friends won’t leave him behind.’
it also makes it clear to the audience that ted isn’t the saintly-giver-of-grace who needs nothing in return, as one might assume on first brush, but rather that he’s Also struggling with his own shit (as is everyone, always, in real life!) and he has something he needs from the people around him too.
and looking at the text of s3, and the conclusion to his arc in the finale, i just don’t believe that he got it. he wasn’t just sad that he was leaving (which would be understandable!), he was completely closed off. unresponsive to the people around him reaching out, borderline confused as to why they were trying so hard!
(side note, while i completely respect the read of ted and trents last interaction being rather rude + ooc on ted’s part, i personally read a different motive into it. for me, it was more like… he didn’t understand where trents enthusiasm was coming from? like, he read that as trent being too invested in what other people think of him, and responded in a way that he hoped would emphasise that ted doesn’t *need* to laugh at everything trent wrote, bc trent Already Knows that he’s done something really cool and kickass, and he shouldn’t value anyone else’s reactions above that. basically, based on his demeanour in the episode, i genuinely don’t think it would’ve even occurred to him that trent was more invested in HIS reaction than he would’ve been with anyone else.)
again, looking purely at the text, the show had already established that ted has really strong depressive + avoidant tendencies, as well as panic attacks (largely triggered by his fear of not being ‘good enough’ in various roles, ie: a father). we saw one area he was able to calm HIMSELF abt these fears (worry for henry, which is a Hell of a choice considering the ending…), but in literally every other heightened moment, he had to rely on his support system to help him make the choices that he WANTED to make, rather than ones inspired by avoidance and fear (ie: confronting michelle abt jake, talking to his mum abt why she was visiting + his dads death).
and to be clear, this is a GOOD THING! we’re not supposed to go through life alone, no matter how bad OR well we’re doing. rebecca and keeleys friendship isn’t worth less for all the scenes where they’re both in good places. if anything, the opposite is true - it’s lovely that they both have someone who want to celebrate the achievements in their life!
and fuck it, we’re sure as hell not supposed to go through life with exactly one (1) person whom we expect to fulfill ALL of our emotional needs at all times either! like, im sure i don’t need to labour my point here, but tying everything to one (1) person in ur life doesn’t make u any less isolated than if u were going it completely alone, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a partner. i won’t pretend to know the first thing abt what it’s like to be a parent, but i don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that no parent would be at their best if they had absolutely no support/camaraderie/general love provided to them from Anyone other than their child.
so when ted is SPECIFICALLY shown to be in a bad place, over and over again (did he come to terms w his fear to be close to henry overnight???????), and then removed from his community? of COURSE the audience is left feeling unsettled, and like the rug has been pulled out from under them. there was no time in this finale dedicated to how ted would still be in contact with anyone from richmond. no promises of visits, or phone calls - fuck, nothing about emails!! according to the text, we might as well assume this is a clean break (and the maybe-dream-sequence does Fuck All to assure us otherwise. if ted doesn’t go to beards wedding, what WOULD he go to????). and since the show has ALSO completely failed to give us even an IMPLICATION of who/what ted’s support system would be in kansas, there’s… a reasonable argument to be made that this is It for ted. that, after two seasons doing NOTHING but attesting otherwise, the audience is supposed to suddenly believe that ted can (and SHOULD!) pull himself up by his bootstraps, and cope entirely on his own.
that, to me, is a betrayal of the show’s premise. we were promised a show about how, no matter how dark things may get, none of the characters would be left to struggle alone. and then they ended the show with ted alone.
i don’t know. i guess if i had to give this post a tldr; if anyone has any gen fic/meta/Literally Anything in the pipeline, i would absolutely love to be tagged/directed towards it. i’ll be endeavouring to write something myself, as well, but it might take a while before i can return to my WIP, lol.
#this is the most measured version of this post i was capable of fghjskdjhgfdgjhsfd#the least measured one is just the aromantic flag with the ‘we are going to beat u to death’ meme overlaid#look ik this is hardly impartial wrt very small + insular communities like nuclear families#but its fucking impossible to go into media analysis and not bring Anything from ur real life in there w u#so im trying to forgive myself for being a little hashtag Vulnerable + Opinionated on main#in the spirit of what this show could’ve been lol#if not here then where etc etc#Ted lasso spoilers#Ted lasso meta#Ted lasso critical#also just to be clear here im being dead serious abt that last point#im spiritually doing the jamie run to demonstrate to u all how badly i want gen shit#please. p l e a s e .#okay wait last ramble here but. this is also why the lack of information we got on trent was so crushing to me#like ur telling me this man went through the incredibly painful + harrowing process of breaking out of his (comfortable! safe) shell +#cynical journalist persona. came out to someone VERY important in his life. and has done nothing but face the music wrt acknowleding#his past mistakes + endeavouring to be better and kinder. and we never get to know if he has ANY support through all that? at all?#is he dating? what's his family situation like? does he have full custody? any friends from work? any friends period?????#like i can should must and will die on the beard + roy + higgins + colins are trents best friends hill but#its like the premise of the show stopped mattering just in time for him to be left in a legitimately depressing limbo#like 'yes everyone needs love + support bc life is rlly hard. but we're tired of making a show abt that so This Is All Ur Getting#+ screw anyone's personal life that u didn't already see in s1. You Know Enough.'#anyway i love u all this is a very silly show and im gonna go play t.o.t.k for a few hours o/ <3
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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It's taking longer to copy and paste things then anticipated guys
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ♪ᝰ#I also never anticipated to share this online so#If anything is off abt it pls let me know when I post it#I'm liking how it looks so far hehe :33#Ik I said in my break post on my other blog that I probably wouldn't be posting anywhere but#guess who's posting a shit ton here <33#me. I am.#and it's so fun doing so it's getting my mind off of things so effectively#Devil kinda carrying the questions tho#love him for that(/p)#(not to sound rude to other on here ofc. like genuinely)
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The rodents have been terrorizing me again for the last 4 nights. I regret to say I am no longer being nice about it.
#my humane trap NEVER FIRES IDK WHY 😭#probably bc I’m using it in a car BUT STILL#and I tried peppermint oil and that didn’t work#so I guess it’s killing time#I’ll refrain from the Tom and Jerry style mouse trap#FOR NOW#not like it matters to them#I feel bad about it ngl but they’re eating all my food and shit and they woke me up at 6:30#and I don’t actually think it’s a mouse (mice?) I think it’s one of those super tiny h chipmunks#so that’s even worse but it can’t be helped#he fit in my humane trap so he’ll fit in the new traps I bought#he has a 1/3 chance of being caught humanely#and if I don’t catch anything tonight those chances are going down to 1/5#anyway after I get them I’m fucking LEAVING back to a place ik doesn’t have rodents bc I need a break jfc#please pray for me#I’m so tired#also it snowed this morning#the only reason I’m even slightly sane is because there’s 0 evidence that they’ve been on my bed#or near me
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anyways, i do think its really interesting that chuuya figures out that dazai was putting pieces into place to get him ousted from the sheep like a month ahead of time... its also really interesting to consider WHY dazai did it and the implications it carries. dazai watches shirase and yuan pressure and guilt chuuya about "doing his part" for the sheep as a person with an ability, then immediately takes action to relieve pressure from chuuya
which is kinda funny bc dazai at least in the short term is following what shirase is saying - dazai has the ability to help save the hostages, and he does lol. demon prodigy indeed. MORE IMPORTANTLY though. dazai recognizes that chuuya is being controlled by the sheep even though he is the leader. chuuya and mori make good comparisons here - this arc starts with mori bemoaning his responsibility as the boss of the port mafia, and we see chuuya consistently failing to do his responsibility as the leader of the sheep. he even denies the title of king, stating that it's only his ability that puts him above the rest. to digress a bit, i think this is partly why when chuuya joins the port mafia he so quickly submits to them - he is no longer the sole ability user, and thus the responsibility doesnt rely entirely on him to protect the group. something to be said here about the way bsd almost never touches on the ability user vs non-ability user dichotomy but ill save that. back to the main point. dazai takes it upon himself to free chuuya from the sheep. he acknowledges the limitations chuuya has to function under as the leader of the sheep and the weight of the responsibility he bears for no reason other than his ability
but then! dazai forces chuuya into the port mafia to save him from the sheep ! doesnt that seem contradictory??? isnt that hypocritical? chuuya seems pissed about it!
granted, I'd be pissed too if my friends stabbed me with a switch covered in rat poison then tried to gun me down. regardless, chuuya can see how dazai set him up to be outcast from the sheep without having to break the tie himself. chuuya is loyal to the sheep, even when they distrust him. But! this gives chuuya a chance to escape, even if it's to the port mafia. i think the important thing to focus on here is that the port mafia is an Actual organization made up of adults. the sheep are a bunch of kids, ones that are easily led. the limited pieces we see of them are shirase and yuan, who throw temper tantrums and try to clumsily manipulate chuuya when he doesn't listen to them. they admit to stealing alcohol from mafia-adjacent territory and just generally seem immature... because theyre kids. but what we see of the mafia is much different. mori is a strong leader because he is smart and rational. he thinks ahead. he, unlike chuuya, is the leader because he wants to protect yokohama, and understands the sacrifice necessary to do so. chuuya is the leader because no one could beat him in a fight. the port mafia offers a chance for growth (ignoring that these are children in the mafia ok play with me here) as a fighter and as a leader - chuuya becomes an exec when he's still a teenager i think (theres not a specific age anywhere i can find) and is a much more calm and smart fighter once he joins.
so it's good (play with me) that chuuya is able to join the port mafia. BUT he would never have been able to leave if dazai had not forced his hand. this paradox - the idea that chuuya obtains freedom from being forced to leave something he doesn't want to - is SUPER interesting to consider !! here i will dissolve into rambles. i learned about this paradox in the context of mary wollstonecraft and the vindication of the rights of women - wollstonecraft believed only educated people could truly be free, as they were not only free of oppression but also no longer slaves to their emotions, and were able to have opportunities and use their education for their own betterment. the situation with chuuya reminded me of this, because with the sheep chuuya had no one to rely on or to teach him, limiting his capacity for growth and ultimately his freedom. the sheep were reliant on him for protection, and feared him, but chuuya had everything to lose if he were to try and leave the sheep. he had nothing without them, and they needed him for his power. but they were beholden to their emotions, immature and uncertain how to actually get power. their primary motivators for action are retaliation - dazai mentions this when chuuya attacks him, and shirase and yuan mention this when they are urging chuuya to help them. but when chuuya talks to mori and koyo (<3) about their actions, both of them are much more forward thinking than that. mori is very cunning and sly, and koyo tells chuuya that even if things go south in the meeting she's taking him to to, they know how to move forward. chuuya's world has expanded beyond the sheep's limited gaze.
of course, he's still trapped in the port mafia, but if you REALLY want to discuss free will..... we'll be here all fucking night. free will is really hard to pin down and i always have to talk about determinism and its a lot to wrap ur head around and i just like drawing connections between stuff i like
#entirely self indulgent rambles about freedom ^_^#the 15 arc is very much a favorite#i love the difference in dazais voice its so stark in this arc. hes so dead and then chuuya comes along#i also love the rimbaud fight. holidng hands hard enough to break reality. the old boss's massive ass scythe which they never bring up agai#also rimbaud's weirdly perceptive comments to chuuya ??? and then chuuya gets his hat.....#hardcore AU where chuuya is captured by verlaine and rimbaud successfully and they raise him? sometimes i just want things to go well#i digress. this is how i see this arc if u dont like it well its my blog and im not tagging this so howd u even find it#canis speaks#everyone forgets chuuya is smart. and i also hate when ppl make chuuya like inordinately angry all the time#have u ever been homeless and in charge of a bunch of children? WHILE 15?????#chuuya deserves as much weed and wine as he wants forever#also mary wollstonecraft i love you. ik rousseau also has ideas about forced freedom but i didnt want to reread the social contract sorry#its past my bedtime. ill read rousseau for anime analysis later#also like the port mafia isnt quite the same as society... its not quite like voting/civic duty it doesnt quite fit as well. whatever#bsd tag#lmk if the image descriptions suck also. i am trying
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I think what bothers me about ppl being surprised at removing the misogyny or making aang be responsible from the start instead of running away is that this is literally fandom trends representing themselves. Like when characters have to grow y’all run to downplay what they have to grow from! STICK WITH ME FANDOM SHIFT this is what bothers me so much about fanon Harley Quinn. Like if Harley never enjoyed or felt free or whatever with joker why are you calling her post relationship arc a redemption? Even back to heroics if bruce was never an asshole or close minded or ham fisted when it came to his kids where do you think the other identities started? What do you think their relationship is growing from? Like it’s so boring lmao
#And then you’ll create negativity that never existed as long as it keeps everything normal#no bruce was never suspicious of his precious baby Jason 🥺#dick hated him with a passion tho!#like ok. get off Twitter.#get off ao3.#pls and thank you#And the Harley one makes me sick bc I adore Harleys redemption especially as a character MADE for joker breaking out and becoming her own#but then y’all are like ‘well she was never BAD! she was manipulated and brainwashed the whole time! and never contributed to anything#significant!’#what is the redemption y’all are speaking of?#THIS IS ZUKOS FAULT#sorry I’m not getting into my opinion on his entire redemption#but like. he was the prime example of perfect victim#and that’s not BAD or whatever I think the progression of his arc was great#I just think y’all overstate ‘redemption’#but not even Zuko Iroh! the way y’all collectively forgot or ignored that he SUCKED!#sorry I swear I ranted to my brother about this for an hour this morning actually#but I forgot every name I pulled#but in conclusion this redemption that’s not rlly redemption cause my fave was never bad thing is soooo#IK i shit on tim but Jason Stans step forward please#I was gonna say Damian but the reason I’m not is bc god forbid y’all actually let him redeem himself#like he feels so much guilt and remorse and y’all are like ‘the haughty princeling wanted poor wittle Drake DEAD at every turn’#also he was ten#and yknow what I think bothers a lot of ppl#that even through the remorse he acknowledges that he was a child and doesn’t allow for the adults in his life to just skate by while he#wallows. which is what I’m sure so many of y’all would prefer to see as per ao3#but no Damian does actually demand accountability from everyone involved including but not limited to himself!#but also I do adore his redemption arc bc yeah he did do that shit and it sucked#however I will never discuss it with fandom ppl who can barely name two of his friends that aren’t Jon. maybe they’ll know Colin and maya i#if they’re really about it…
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Just watched Fury from the Deep and I love Victoria's exit so much it breaks my heart. She's so worn down by their travels always ending up full of danger and death and her always being put in the position of damsel in distress. She really doesn't want to leave jamie and the doctor but she doesn't want that life and I love that it let's her make that choice. And I love that Jamie's concerned she won't be happy living in, what is to them, the future but she acknowledges she's changed too much to go back to Victorian England, and she's highly unlikely to get back there anyway, not without more death and danger. That the doctor changes his mind about slipping away in the night and agrees to stay another day so Victoria can think about her decision properly without feeling as pressured. The fact that she knows the doctor won't say a proper goodbye because that's his way. The way she stands on the beach watching them row out to the tardis, knowing she'll never see either of them again. The fact she doesn't go back to the tardis with them to collect her belongings. Jamie's "I don't care where we go next" because he's miserable that Victoria made that decision. The Doctor's "I was fond of her too, you know" which is the closest he'll get to admitting how much he cares about them all. I just love it
#i just have so many thoughts about her#i love that the story builds to her exit with her saying shes tired of being frightened and asking why they never end up anywhere nice#her exit's similar to tegans in that theyre both worn out and sick of it but i love where tegans exit is impulsive#and very much in the heat of the moment#you see victoria considering it throughout the episode even though she cant bring herself to say it to jamie and the doctor#and yeah i just love that we get to see the travelling take its toll bc when you get down to it she is just a kid who never signed up#for any of this#and where new who companions get breaks between adventures and have lives outside the doctor#classic who companions dont get any of that by virtue of the 'the doctor cant control the tardis' so the doctor and his lifestyle is all#they have#and it goes even more so for victoria bc shes one of the orphaned companions who has nowhere to go back to#(sidenote i was thinking the other day about how many classic companions have nowhere they want to go back to particularly with 1 2 and 5#which fits with the whole 'cant control the tardis so they cant ever go back so we better make companions who dont want to'#idk i just love that so many of the classic exits are companions finding a new home/realising they can do good in this new place#like they can never go back to their old home and they end up with their temporary tardis family until they find somewhere new to call home#and ik we rarely see the outcomes of these decisions so we dont know if they were the right ones but still)#anyway this was about victoria#in conclusion: i love her and her exit#doctor who#victoria waterfield#jamie mccrimmon#second doctor
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when will please stay hippocrene be updated 😍
this week I promise!!! sorry I know I said it would drop last week but lots of stuff came up unexpectedly! if you are interested here is an excerpt from ch5 below the cut 🙏 (contains suggestive text)
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he admitted. “Hey, what’s with the skirt?”
As though he’d just brought up a sore topic, she groaned exasperatedly. “I spilled coffee all over the one I was wearing earlier. Had to run to an Abercrombie near the office, and this was the best they had.”
“You look hot,” Percy said without an ounce of shame. “You should wear it more often.”
She was flabbergasted--and she looked down at herself in disbelief. “Wh… this? It’s just a black skirt, Percy.”
“So? You look really good.”
“No, you just have a dirty mind.”
“Two things can be true at the same time.”
Annabeth rolled her eyes, but he still caught a subtle smile on her lips, the curl of which was quite alluring. Coupled with that skirt of hers, and his impulses were already taking control.
[ ... ]
#(ch5 is percy + frank and then ch6 will just be frank)#(or I might break up ch5 into 2 chapters if it gets too long)#hippocrene is a pretty special project for me at this point so I'm always taking my time with each chapter#like I do work on it at least a little bit everyday but ik what my writing looks like when it's half-assed and I never want to do that#with hippocrene#but lots of cute and fun stuff up ahead I promise#percabeth#baye.txt
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why are sot players on xbox so much more ruthless than ones on pc
#genuinely though#pirate posting#I've meet so many cool people on pc when I play with my buddies#but have met so so few of nice xbox players#they all attack me literally at first sight and I can never get a break#ik thats how sot is but sometimes I'm too damn exhausted to deal with it some days
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it's funny when people are trying to put pete down by insulting his bass skills or whatever and they're like "he didn't even write fob's most iconic bassline!!!" (which I'm assuming is dance dance ig idk) and it's like. buddy, pal, friendofmine. sibling dearest. I'll do you one better: I can't name a bassline he has written.
great news! it doesn't matter. I'm not suggesting he's a good bassist either, because I've never really seen anything that really supports that idea. but he's not in the band to be the world's best bass player. it's a means to an end. he's a fantastic lyricist, he's a good frontman, and the three other members of fob wouldn't want to be in the band without him. I think that's all you could ever truly ask of him. nice try though
#fall out boy#fob#pete wentz#people have this assumption that bands and musical acts come together solely to be the best at their respective instrument or something#and that the art they create must be the pinnacle of success in a time period#but when you know that this band exists because two guys wanted a break from the rest of the scene#and they've stayed together for 20+ years because /they're just having fun/#it becomes clear that this isn't about being the epitome of greatness or whatever#BTW. DISCLAIMER.#this is ONLY about people trying to tear him down in General.#if you're comparing bassists and skill then like. oBvioUsLy him not being a great bassist matters#it just doesn't matter to me in the grand scheme of things#like. in any other capacity lol#like ik some mcr fans are annoyed that pete and mikey get compared a lot or something#and idk what mikey's skill level is at but I'm pretty sure he is better than pete just cause I've heard he's got that underdog story going#on w/ him not having played bass til mcr but coming soo far as a bassist#and I'm sure that that's frustrating so rip. but there's no reason to insist that pete is Super Skilled because dude that's not why hes her#it was never the point!! ashdhsgj#you don't need to be freakishly good at something to partake in it!#I also think it's weird how obsessed some people are with this#like. why do you wanna tear him down so badly huh? what's your deal#stfu#I didn't think I'd ever become a pete wentz defender tbh#but yknow. hdfshg
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omg I was like 'they have people coming in for relief, they don't need me' and this cns is like 'seems like a waste' and um. do you not want people to...eat...or be able to pee...?
#can you reserve the OR stuff to the OR people bc otherwise you sound like an idiot#people could literally be standing up scrubbed in for 8+ hours without that staff#plus ppl go home at 3...people get sick#pppl need extra hands...more staff is never a bad thing#ik she's coming from a workflow where there's sometimes natural breaks to eat and stuff#but um. the coordinator knows what she's doing#plus we need people past 7pm....#cor.txt
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