#MATCHING DELUSIONS i love that so much :D

[wildsaltair]

We sound like two wives of antiquity that find each other in the river shore to do laundry and pridefully comment about their mighty warrior husbands that are temporally absent for war.

Isn't that sweet? Matching delusions lol 💕💕

This is THE CUTEST mental image, friend!!! I love it so much <3 This is us on this website every single day. You listen to me prattle on about Maximus and I listen to you loving on Achilles. I will forever think of you as my river-laundry buddy 💕

[kooberryfields4ever]

hehe😏😏 what did i say😏😏 finally posting this after more than half a year of abandoning the idea!!!!!!!! as a long time jungkooker i have observed his mannerisms for a while and i think my delusions will guide me down the right path <333 please let me know ur thoughts and as always my asks/requests are very much open to both hard and soft thoughts!!!!!! 🥺

content warnings : nsfw below the cut, handjobs, jerking off, mentions of oral, mentions of cumming inside, unprotected sex, protected sex, boobs, yadda yadda its the nsfw alphabet what do u expect😒

MDNI !

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

the sweetest <3333

cannot imagine jungkook being anything but attentive and romantic when he tends to u after sex

also cant see him as too dominant or rough during sex so aftercare is probably just kisses cuddles and pillow talk

maybe some boob groping because he cannot help himself

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

do i even need to say it

boobs, boobies, tits, honkers, knockers, breasts etc

LOVES UR TITS. like i do not care what anybody says jungkook is a titty lover, a boobie connoisseur

likes to just hold them because he is gentle and lovely and ur boobs are his home

wants them in his mouth almost all of the time

favourite part of him is probs his arms

very proud of his muscles and very very attracted to the way u seem addicted to them

loves when u dig ur nails into them when he fucks u

also loves when u get overwhelmed with cuteness aggression and feel the need to bite him and gnaw on his arm like a teething toy

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

clean boy

i dont think hes all too feral about doing it inside but if ur fucking raw then inside is the cleanest option for him

first man on earth to… prefer a condom?

of course fucking u raw is his absolute pleasure but he likes the quick and easy cleanup a condom provides

on the off chance jungkook likes to get messy :) if hes in that mood expect cum on ur face, tits or on ur pussy

not an absolutely rare occurrence just not entirely common

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

did u guys expect me to say anything but panty lover

likes them all but especially cute cotton ones that are well loved <3

ones with a little bow and a subtle lace trim

maybe the pattern is somewhat childish but that makes them all the more endearing to him

if he sees u wearing them TRUST he will be in a messy mood. he cant help himself

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

pains me to admit but jungkook gets bitches😥😥

maybe not drowning in pussy, we’ve all seen the singular neck pillow on his bed

just cannot imagine a world where jungkook looks the way he looks and doesnt fuck?????? that is a world i quite frankly dont want to live in if so.

been in the industry long enough to know how to get around dispatch rumours, also hybe/bh paying off major drama media companies lolol

i think hes had enough sex to know what he likes but jungkook is a romantic at heart and i truly believe if he found The One we would know about it

so i think theres some things unexplored bc theyre things he wants to experience with the love of his life<333

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary

DONT YAWN.

just likes seeing ur face and also likes to display his strength and hold ur hips up so he can fuck u deeper

also likes that he can see when u grip onto his arms and if he really wants to he can duck his head down and bury his face in ur tits

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

yeah jk gets goofy asf

cannot imagine serious sex with him really i think hes immune to being serious ever

even if it gets a little more serious at some point there will always be a joke or a giggle inserted somewhere between

he cannot help himself sorry.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

jungkook my lovely clean boy <33

not completely razor shaven but trims regularly and keeps it neat

not a fan of stray pubes and whatnot. thinks its unhygienic

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

despite his goofy silly boy nature i think jungkook is incredibly intimate

likes to be slow and likes drawn out foreplay

this is jungkook we’re talking about……. lover of romance and soulmates and close bonds

needs to be practically combined with u when u fuck, never feels like he gets deep enough

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

dont think hes a big fan of jerking it honestly

at least not alone

loves a bit of mutual masturbation i reckon so if he does need to wank best believe he’s either calling u or texting u

its always better when hes right there with u tho, with u straddling his lap while he strokes himself and watches u get off on his thigh

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

hehe praise

for u or for him. doesnt matter

will get into this in a sec but jk dabbles in submission so expect whimpers and moans when u tell him what a good boy he is and goad him on when hes following instructions well

loves whispering how pretty u are and reminding u how much he loves u and loves ur body and thinks ur the most gorgeous person in the world

atp its just him. like i dont think he could stop himself i think he gets off on praising u

lazy sub when he does sub for u :)

less about being in the mood to sub and more about not being in the mood to do anything else

wants u to do the work and likes if u get a little mean about it

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

the couch lol

jungkook is one of those people thats just very passionate and when hes horny it needs to happen there and then

so i just cant picture u making it to his bed fast enough for his liking

his couch is big enough anyway

but make no mistake…….. morning sex

therefore beds!!!!!!!! loves fucking u in the morning because it feels so domestic and intimate and lovely and therefore loves fucking u in his bed

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

not much

libra venus lol

but its usually just from his need to be close to u and whats closer than being literally inside of u

just a lovely boy …. :( would probs get so hard just seeing u look pretty on the couch next to him while u watch tv

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

degradation probably

not a fan of being mean to u outside of a little teasing

none of that “slut”, “bitch”, “whore” business

id also say hitting but i think jungkook could get into a bit of that if the circumstances are right

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

i think he prefers receiving but isnt against eating u out

doesnt even like getting head much himself

prefers a handjob the same way he would prefer to finger u

dont think hes bad at it tho. knows the basics and primarily uses it as foreplay so orgasm is not always necessary

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

both?

depends on his mood and the circumstances in which he is fucking u

mostly slow and sensual though, maybe a mix between if he’s close

hehehe…….. probs doesnt even pull out too far when he fucks u, just wants to stay buried in u so he prefers rolling his hips slowly and grinding into u

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

not opposed to them but not his favourite

prefers when foreplay lasts forever to the point that ur both basically about to cum

but quickies are sometimes unavoidable :/

will make up for it later :)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

i dont think so …… i dont think hes a scaredy cat but hes very cautious of things that may hurt u or that may cause harm

like probably not a very public lover aside from basic pda (he has to show u off????)

would cover ur mouth to keep u quiet when he lived in the dorms

i think hed be too embarrassed if he got caught fucking, hes cute not arrogant

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i think jungkook can go for a while and i think he can hold out for longer than most

enjoys taking his time with u and that of course would not work if he was desperate to cum five minutes in

i also think … he … .. perh aps…,.., enjoys being overstimulated…,,??

so cumming more than once :) is fun :)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

ermmm probably not?

likes the real thing and doesnt like the noises

would maybe invest in a hitachi for u but cant think of anything he would use on himself

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

not very unfair, likes to give in to u cos it shows u want him that bad and thats what gets him going

however

if jungkooks feeling submissive then yes please tease him

be mean and make him beg

and even still dont give in :)

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

moaner

like come on ? its jungkook we’re talking about

if he didnt moan id be seriously worried .

not necessarily loud, but u can definitely hear him from outside the door

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

can imagine him getting home after a long day and hes been thinking about u but cannot be bothered to move from the couch

and u look so pretty beside him so (because hes a baby) he reaches out to touch ur thigh and whines a little

maybe even pouts because hes such a massive tease

and who are u to deny him ? when he looks so pretty and u know he just wants u to look after him

and so u climb into his lap and straddle him…… and his hands roam over your hips and ass absentmindedly

and when ur kissing ur hand trails lower and lower until ur palming him over the fabric of his sweats and building him up until hes rock hard

whispering that he has to be a good boy for u or else he wont get rewarded, and obviously he nods because he loves being ur good boy

but his hands wander a bit too much for ur liking and so u bite his lower lip and spank his hip gently before sneaking ur hand past the waistband of his sweats and underwear to grip his length

and of course hes dripping, how wouldnt he be ??

so u indulge him and spread his precum down his cock before stroking him slowly, nudging his clothes down to get a better look

and hes so fucked out that his head tips backwards, his wandering hands gripping your hips firmly

and despite the mess, hes delicate when he cums, spilling over his shirt and moaning softly, thanking u with sweet murmurs and a gentle hand rubbing ur thigh

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

self-identified horse cock

just kidding but i think hes a little bigger than average

probs more on the girth side than anything else

i dont think its anything extreme, i think its enough for u to notice but nothing that will carve out ur insides

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i think sex is an expression of his love language a little so i think he has a higher sex drive

but not in a horny ggrrrr ooga booga woof woof way but in a please can i just be inside u forever and make a home within ur walls way

will probs want sex more often than ur average guy but its never pressure its more just like a natural progression of cuddling and being around him

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

probably not gonna fall asleep for a while after

if hes subbing then maybe sooner than any other times u have sex

but mostly when its over he will stay up to shower and eat and maybe play some games before he falls asleep

[jnnul]

mr. brawn and ms. brain

sum: you hate athletes. eunseok is an athlete. eunseok is in love with you. it doesn't take a genius to see that there's an issue with this equation. after a one-sided love for the past three years, eunseok is saved when the two of you are partnered to work on an english project together. which means that eunseok's first step of getting you to fall in love with him is done. next step: get you to give him the time of day... word count: 9.6k a/n: hehe i've been working on this for so long i can't believe it's finally out lol i hope that you all enjoy reading this as much as i loved writing this! <3 someone teach me how to make visually pleasing banners. quick note: feedback, comments, etc. GREATLY encourage writers! if you felt any sort of way (in a good or bad way!) about this fic, pls leave feedback warnings: mentions of reader's insecurities, sungchan being a horrible/amazing friend, simp eunseok, uhh love :D

EUNSEOK SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT TRYING TO WRAP HIS MIND AROUND YOUR SHEER GENIUS WAS A BAD IDEA. you were just so much smarter than him; he didn't know why he thought that he could even comprehend the meaning behind your actions anymore.

at least, this is what song eunseok gathers from your animated gestures and anger stained tone as you continue to motion at eunseok semi-offensively.

he's only half-listening (he's perfected the art of the blank stare) and you know that he's not listening too. but eunseok figures that if yelling at him to your heart's content is what would make you feel better, then he was glad to be your not-really listening ear.

"...and you know that i can't do it all on my own!" you yell finally, your distress coming to a climax. eunseok winces when your voice reaches a decibel he didn't know to be humanly possible. your chest is heaving and eunseok, from this, is now well aware that you're upset the fact you had to work on the partner project by yourself last night.

but he didn't know how else to explain to you that he had a soccer match last night that he couldn't just skip out to work on the project - even if it was a project that would more or less determine his grade in the class.

your arms are crossed against your torso, eyebrows furrowed as you wait for eunseok to say something. he's sat in front of you, looking akin to a statue, while you're standing up, glaring down at him and from this angle, eunseok is once again reminded of just why he lets you get away with saying pretty much anything to him.

eunseok is so incredibly in love with you that it takes every fiber of his being from telling you that any time the two of you were together. which was less often than he wanted but more often than you had had in the past so he was willing to take the wins he could get at this point.

"so you want me to the work on the project, that's it, right?" he says slowly and you damn near want to strangle him in that moment. you knew that eunseok wasn't dumb and that he had only sat through your entire lecture because you weren't going to let him hear the end of it anyway but would it kill him to at least pretend like he was remorseful?

"yes," you say finally, with an exasperated sigh. "i just want you to work on the project with me."

the corner of eunseok's lips twitch imperceptibly upwards in a soft smile before it disappears, bringing him back to his much more familiar bored expression. i just want you to work on the project with me.

that had to mean something, right? you wouldn't add the 'with me' without any particular reason, right? you actually meant to indicate something with that 'with me', right?

in all honesty, you're hadn't thought of what you were saying all that hard and had just said everything that came to mind in an attempt to rid yourself of your anger and eunseok knows that as well.

he's been in love with you for long enough to know that you didn't actually mean anything when he formed these delusions on his own but he couldn't help himself.

eunseok has loved you since the moment he saw you sitting inside the classroom, earbuds in your ears as you flipped through your notebook filled with notes while he was outside on the soccer field, squinting up at you against the relentless sun, three years ago.

he wasn't sure what it was. at first, he was sure that it was just the chase. the classic 'unattainable' trope where he was only attracted to you because of the challenge that you presented to him.

but it was strange.

eunseok wasn't a really big fan of cheesy clichés or overplayed poetry about something that he was sure didn't exist anymore but everything had changed when he saw you.

your looks, face, beauty - none of that seemed to be what clicked within him. the moment that you turned your head to peer out the window, your eyes landing on his, it was like his entire soul was breathing a sigh of relief.

if eunseok was any less of a realist, he would've genuinely believed that the two of you were soul tied lovers from previous lives.

the only issue was that eunseok was pretty sure his soulmate would give him the time of day. which you pretty much refused to do. it was like you were allergic to his type or something.

you kept to yourself in general, and didn't really have many friends but at the very least, you were friendly enough to those around you. no one really had anything bad to say about you bar the fact that you never allowed anyone to overtake you on your throne seated comfortably as number one in the whole school.

except for eunseok's friends. they all knew about eunseok's hopeless love for you and for the life of them could not understand why. you barely glanced in his direction in general, and seemed to always glare at any round object that could be used for a sport - and those who carried said offending objects.

which naturally meant that eunseok and the rest of his friends (all of whom unfortunately played some sport or another) were blacklisted by you.

he'd been curious at first why you had so much prejudice against sports and then one time, had seen you be forced to run laps around the field. needless to say, after he saw you nearly trip and fall on your face at least four times in one lap, he was vaguely aware of what prompted you to stay as far away from such activities as possible.

in fact, eunseok was relatively sure that he was going to have to graduate high school without ever actually having a proper conversation. until the fateful day that your english professor had assigned you and eunseok to work on the same project together for a final grade.

it was a simple research paper, but both of you had to submit outlines and drafts that showed how much you each contributed to the project, as well as how much of the project was done with each other - all of which contributed to your grade.

eunseok had thought that this was it! this would be his in!

he was wrong. to be honest, eunseok could count on one hand the number of conversations he'd had with you after starting work on the project together. and could count without any fingers the number of those conversations that were about anything other than project division.

which is why, when you're standing here, arms crossed against your heaving chest and looking at him with those eyes, eunseok has nothing running in his mind other than just how much he wants you to know what he feels.

"eunseok! are you even listening to me anymore?" you ask, waving a hand in his face. eunseok blinks before clearing his throat. he reaches out a long arm to pull out a chair in the desk next to his and indicates for you to sit down on it.

you eye the chair warily before sitting down, folding your skirt underneath your thighs as you sit gingerly, as if you were expecting it to explode.

the sight would normally make eunseok just roll his eyes for anyone else but with you, it makes him smile.

"okay, i'm sorry. with the game last night, i forgot to my part for the draft due friday. but i promise, i'm still going to make it up to you and finish all of the stuff i needed to do as soon as possible," eunseok says. you watch him for a moment before nodding and moving to get up out of the chair as eunseok rushes to come up with some reasoning to get you to stay with him a little longer.

"although, are you sure you're going to be able to finish the section by yourself? i had some issues with the first half of pride and prejudice because of the characterization and the time period," you say, although the last half of your thought seems to be much more reluctant than the first half, as if you didn't want to admit that you had any academic weaknesses to eunseok.

but eunseok barely pays it any mind, jumping on the opportunity as soon as he recognizes it. "oh...yeah, honestly i don't know if i can do it by myself. since we both have access to the late night study room anyway, do you wanna finish it together tonight?"

eunseok watches as the gears turn in your head, bottom lip caught between your teeth as you debate the possibilities in your mind. and even as you do, he tries to control the erratic beating of his heart at the chance of spending so much time with you.

if he could explain his feelings to anyone, which eunseok was not gifted with the vocabulary of attempting to do so, he was sure that they would ask if he was ripped straight from the novel the two of you were assigned to work on.

to be honest, eunseok thinks as he rests his temple against the heel of his palm, watching as you pull out a timetable and consult it with utmost seriousness, even he found it kinda silly.

well, not silly as in his crush on you was dumb per se (although, there were times where he realized just how unfounded his feelings truly were). more silly like i didn't even know these kinds of feelings could still exist in people.

silly like how a child discovering the world for the first time might be - awkward in their gait but curiosity shining brightly in their eyes, learning how to be human for the first time.

he knows that his whole 'true love' or 'soulmate' semantics were not for the weak of heart - and most definitely not for those who were too embroiled in the 'love' of today's day and age. but he couldn't bring himself to care.

it made him want to be a better person for you. to be the man that you would glance at in more than just passing. to be worthy of your love.

"alright. i'm scheduled for an english tutoring session but i'll ask them to meet me tomorrow instead. maybe i can use some of the stuff that we learn during our project," you say with a sigh, crossing out some of the timings written in your schedule and rearranging them.

eunseok's eyebrows furrow. "you take tutoring lessons? oh, like a private tutor?"

you eye eunseok strangely, as if you weren't sure if he was making a joke or not.

"no...i teach people. i tutor for english, mathematics, and some other subjects as well. it's how i'm adding to my resumé." the chair makes an awful noise when you push it back to stand up.

"oh," eunseok says. resumé? for what? college admissions? god, he really needed to start getting ready for that. his csat score was not high enough for him to even dream about getting into a good enough school for you to recognize him.

or, you know, secure brighter future in such a competitive job market. but that was mostly secondary.

"yeah. so..." you trail off awkwardly, toeing the ground with your arms behind your back. the sight of you being awkward or unsure of yourself was foreign to eunseok but nonetheless endearing.

"yeah. so i'll see you tonight then? after classes end?" eunseok prompts you and you seem to snap out of whatever reverie your mind was in.

"mhm." it's absent-minded and almost an afterthought, as you make your way out of the classroom, pausing at the door to look at him before leaving.

+++

classes end a couple of hours later, and eunseok is left waiting anxiously in the study rooms.

you'd agreed to meet after classes but eunseok realizes that he'd never asked for a specific time or your number to communicate with you, meaning that he'd been stuck in the study rooms for the past hour, unsure if and when you were going to show up.

eunseok had been productive with his time, of course. he'd tucked away the soccer ball he'd brought to school into one of the lockers in the back and popped a breath mint. not for any particular reason, but he didn't want you to think of him in the stereotypical 'jock who doesn't partake in hygiene'.

he'd even tried to make progress on the pride and prejudice chapters he'd been assigned (by you) to write about, only to give up three sentences in.

the one thing that eunseok had done incorrectly, however, was drinking too much water. see, eunseok had a strange habit of chugging water every time he got nervous. needless to say, about an hour of sheer anxiety of when you were going to show up made him down the whole waterbottle.

which was not good because now, eunseok had to relieve himself and you were still nowhere to be seen. and he couldn't just go use the restroom and come back because he was pretty sure you'd just leave and assume that he bailed on you if he left his post in the study rooms.

eunseok paces around the room, hoping that time would move faster if he moved faster (time-space was in same dimension after all, so technically...). he's taken about twenty-three laps around the study room when he finally hears the door click open and you enter the study room somewhat cautiously, looking worse for wear.

"I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!" eunseok manages to holler before sprinting out of the study room, not wanting to look back and see your undoubtedly bewildered face as he makes a mad dash for the men's restrooms.

it's not until eunseok finally relieves himself, washing his hands in the sink that was lower than his hips that he realizes what he'd just done.

eunseok berates himself more than once or twice in the bathroom, pacing back and forth once more when he realizes just how much of an idiot he must've looked like as he sprinted out of the room like a crazy man.

"it's ok. it's ok! having to use the restroom is natural! everyone needs to! it's not like y/n doesn't, right? don't worry, you look fine. you're so hot, she'll forget it happened."

you didn't forget. when eunseok slinked back into the study room, you can barely keep the silly smile off your face, trying your best to look understanding and apologetic instead.

"i'm - i'm so sorry for coming late eunseok. i heard there was soccer practice today so i figured you'd be late and decided to help mrs. kim with creating the study set for the upcoming math test," you explain, unable to keep the lighthearted giggle out of your voice.

eunseok offers an embarrassed half-grin as he waves you off.

"don't worry, i wasn't waiting long. i just got here too. uh, i asked coach to cancel practice since both captains wouldn't be able to make it," eunseok says, looking busily through his backpack in an effort to prevent you from looking at his red face.

"you asked the coach to cancel practice?" you ask incredulously and eunseok tries his best to act nonchalant.

"yeah. i mean, you're right after all. academics are more important than sports - it's not like i plan on going pro or anything so i figured that i should sit down and make some headway on this project," eunseok says with a shrug, and it brings him a strange sense of satisfaction when you glance at him as though you were suddenly looking at him for the first time.

"you don't plan on playing in college? i mean i've heard that you're good enough for it," you say, and you sound genuinely curious, rearranging the books in front of you.

"i mean i plan on playing in college but i can't exactly get into college just on sports. i'm not that good. i still need to have good grades and scores to get in," eunseok says and you frown, deep in thought, but eunseok can tell that it's not in a bad or malicious way.

"i'd never thought you would care that much about school," you say softly and eunseok can't help but shoot you a lopsided grin.

"we're not all just dumb jocks, y/n," he responds, his voice just as soft and he realizes just how much he likes the taste of your name on his tongue.

"yeah. i guess so," you say finally, offering him a small smile.

eunseok thinks he can die happy when he sees it.

+++

the two of you don't become best friends over the next couple weeks. in fact, you still don't have too many conversations with him other than about the project, but it's more than eunseok has been awarded with before.

you talk to him in between classes now, when you see him in the hallways, and ask him about soccer practice. eunseok always blushes, casting his eyes towards the windows so that he had something to look at other than your intelligent and probing eyes.

he even sees you wave at him during soccer practice, when you're headed out early for tutoring and eunseok nearly dies of heart attack, tripping over himself as he rushes to wave back.

wonbin didn't let him live that down for a full week after the incident occurred, laughing and waving in exaggerated motions every time he saw eunseok.

he even went as far as going up to you and asking you to come to one of the upcoming soccer matches, all in the name of good fun.

eunseok had had to literally tackle wonbin to the floor in order to keep him from spilling any vital information ("please come to the soccer match because our captain has been crushing on you since his first year and we can't see him like this anymore.") but it was clear that the message came through incorrectly.

"you don't want me to come to your match that much? i thought we were better friends than that, eunseok," you said with a frown, and eunseok had to scramble to his feet, kicking wonbin with his foot.

"no - no! it's not that. i do really want you to come to our soccer match. but i kinda wanted to be the one to ask you. you know, because you're so busy all the time and i thought you might say yes if i asked rather than this idiot," eunseok had explained, tripping over his words in an attempt to make sure that he didn't hurt your emotions.

you'd stared up at him, your face unreadable. that was the one thing that eunseok didn't like about you - he could never truly predict exactly what you were thinking unless you said it out loud. you were infamous for your poker face and it made eunseok incredibly nervous.

little did he know that that was the exact reason that eunseok made you nervous.

"i'll come if i have time," you had said simply, turning on your heel to flounce away.

"you're an idiot but goddamnit, i love you wonbin," eunseok had said, descending onto the right wing to tackle him to the floor once more with a hug.

"alright! i get it! get off of me, cap!" wonbin said, pawing at eunseok's arms to relieve himself from the bearhug he was trapped in. he'd just laughed, wrapping his arms around wonbin even tighter.

which brought eunseok to his current predicament.

not only had you come to the match, but you'd brought some of your friends with you. eunseok doesn't really recognize any of them but by the way that you're laughing as you're talking to them, eunseok figures that that you must be pretty close.

"if you could stop staring at the love of your life and finish warm-up drills, that would be great, cap," wonbin says and eunseok shivers, startled by the right wing's sudden presence.

"yeah. uh, team! keep up the drills for just two more minutes before debriefing," eunseok yells, finally forcing his head away from your direction to face his team.

"i invited her because i wanted to give you a chance to impress yourself in front of her. don't make this rare opportunity into a mess," wonbin suggests with a smirk, saluting to eunseok as he ran to sungchan to finish the last few drills with him.

"that brat. and he still wants to be captain next year," eunseok grumbles under his breath, begrudgingly joining the rest of the team. as much as he hated to admit it, wonbin was right.

getting you to come to this match was already more than eunseok had ever had in the past; there was no way that he was going to let himself fuck this up. that would be so incredibly embarrassing.

"alright!" eunseok shouts, clapping his hands and waiting for the team to huddle around him. "i don't need to remind anyone that just because our team has been doing well, we still need to play at our best, right? you all know how to play soccer so just do what you've been doing and don't let it get to your head. good and bad plays both."

he extends his hand out to the center of their huddle, and the rest of the team also extends their hands, chanting their school's soccer cheer before dispersing to discard any extra gear or possessions.

eunseok looks one last time to where you were sitting, just as a quick 'good luck glance' and he's startled to see you already staring back at him. you cock your head and smile slightly, offering him a thumbs up and eunseok feels as though he'd already won the match.

"seok, i've got an idea," sungchan, eunseok's fellow captain and one of his closest friend says, slinging an arm around his shoulders.

"what bullshit are you stirring up now?" eunseok says, his voice flat and unimpressed. sungchan grabs his chest where his heart was, as though he'd been shot, dramatically stumbling backwards.

"here i am, offering to relieve you of your pining and you say i'm stirring up bullshit," sungchan gasps. eunseok rolls his eyes, grabbing sungchan's jersey to pull him forward.

"what? match is starting soon," eunseok says, unable to keep the smile out of his voice.

"i'll make a bet with you," sungchan says. "if i score more goals than you do, you have to ask out y/n. but if you score more goals than i do, then you don't have to."

"this feels like a stupid bet. i'm not doing it," eunseok says, but he can already feel himself being swayed. he'd liked you for so long - at this point, he was just looking for the slightest push in the right direction to ask you out.

"alright fine. you don't have to. y/n's pretty cute, honestly, and she's hella smart too. so i'll make you a different deal. if i score more goals, i ask her out. if you score more goals, i won't ask her out," sungchan says, a devilish smile on his face.

eunseok's eyes look as though they'd burn sungchan to smithereens if they could but sungchan barely shivers, offering him a shit-eating grin and turning to blow a kiss to you.

"what the fuck? i should've known that you were up to something stupid," eunseok growls. "why the hell would you ask her out?"

"it's only an issue if i score more goals than you, right?" sungchan says, jogging backwards to join the team again, never breaking eye contact with eunseok.

eunseok knew that sungchan was a loyal friend and there was no way in hell that he was going to ask you out - even as a joke or as a push to get eunseok to confess his feelings - but eunseok was pissed. the idea of someone else confessing to you before he ever did made him see red.

the team barely sees eunseok the whole match. which is strange, because he's in for the entire match, but they barely even see him, his red uniform appearing as streaks up and down the field. he scores goal after goal, running towards the goalpost at speeds they'd never see the usually laidback captain move at.

and sungchan was no better than him. although his heart wasn't in it nearly as much, sungchan was hot on eunseok's heels, the two of them on opposite ends of the field and being the two people that the team relied on the most the entire match, carrying the entire team to victory.

which is why when the scoreboard reads 5 - 0, the team is shocked, but sungchan just has that stupid grin on his face. not only had eunseok scored one more goal than sungchan, he'd also gone mad, ensuring that the opposing team didn't score a single goal.

"what the hell did you do to cap?" wonbin asks sungchan, and the older boy just nods in your general direction.

"gave him the push he's been needing," he says, smirking with satisfaction when he sees eunseok jogging over to where you were sitting, after shaking hands with the opposing team and thanking the referees.

"thanks for coming, y/n," eunseok says, out of breath and sweaty when he reaches to where you were sitting. "i honestly didn't think you were coming - since sports aren't really your thing."

"i promised i would come, didn't i?" you quip, and a shy smile overtakes your face, making eunseok having to use every single ounce of his willpower to keep from squealing at how cute he found you. your friends slowly start to file out to leave the two of you standing there - you in the bleachers and him on the field.

"hm, yeah, you did." eunseok's face turns contemplative and for some reason, you rush to fill the silence, in a way that you'd never felt compelled to do with anyone else before.

"i have to admit...i had more fun than i thought," you say, choking on the words as you get them out. eunseok's eyebrows ascend into his hairline - which would be hilarious if you weren't the reason that they were doing so.

"you had fun? y/n l/n? having fun? that too, at a soccer match?" eunseok says incredulously, throwing his hands on his chest dramatically. "well, i'll be!"

you roll your eyes, but you can't help the silly smile you can feel start to form on your lips.

"i can have fun, you know. i'm not always studying and boring everyone. even at soccer games where all i see is a ball go up and down and i have no clue what's happening. i think you did well, though, since everyone was chattering a lot about your performance," you say, adding the last part to appease eunseok for inviting you.

"i don't care about what people say," eunseok says easily, waving his hand in the air as if to physically rid himself of the thought of other people disturbing his mental wellbeing.

"y/n! you have to get going; your tutoring starts soon and mrs. im is always super mad when anyone's the slightest second late!" one of your friends calls out, coming closer to physically drag you away from eunseok if need be.

even his ugliest stare doesn't work on discouraging them from approaching the two of you and eunseok figures that he should work on a mean glare instead of a blank stare; the latter wasn't helping as much anymore now that everyone just assumed that's what his natural face looked like.

"alright, alright. i'm coming," you say, stepping down the stairs of the bleachers carefully, tripping on the last step. eunseok's arm shoots out before he can even think of what he's doing, catching you as you fall.

"thank you," you say breathlessly, and suddenly, eunseok worries that you can hear the erratic beating of his heart from just how close you were to each other, your chests quite nearly touching.

"you wanna hang out some time? maybe prove that the academic queen, school topper, ms. brain knows how to have some fun?" eunseok asks, and he can feel the blood rushing throughout his body as his adrenaline is at an all-time high.

he doesn't think that he was nearly this nervous or that his heart was even pumping this hard during this match. but now, as he's looking down at the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in eighteen years of life, he can't help but feel weak in the knees and just a little too stupidly hopeful.

"i'm sorry eunseok. i'm pretty busy nowadays. especially with new people that i've been tutoring. i don't even have too much time to study myself; i don't think i can afford to take too many breaks now," you explain, somewhat sorry and somewhat sullen.

eunseok tries to keep the heartbreak from showing on his face and he nods, almost too excitedly.

"oh yeah, i get it! no worries! i mean, you are the number one student in the school! you've gotta keep those grades up!" his voice sounds fake even to his own ears and your friend winces apologetically but you don't even seem phased, flashing him a sweet smile.

"we'll 'hang out' when we work on the project next monday though right?" you ask, and eunseok nods, a plastic smile on his face.

"yeah, of course," he says, and for some reason, he can't help but wonder if you knew just how great you were at letting people down. eunseok knew that you were beautiful but no one had ever dared to ask you out, for fear of the fact that they would come second to your academics.

it's hard to ask someone out when you know what the answer is.

"well, i'll get going now then. mrs. im seems like a real tiger mom and i have my first tutoring session with her son today," you say, wrapping your sweater a little bit tighter around your body as you wave goodbye, retreating into the foggy afternoon.

"how did it go, cap?" wonbin asks, a knowing grin on his face, ready to tease/congratulate his captain on his definite success in asking you out.

eunseok doesn't even turn away from watching your figure until he's just staring at empty space and fog before saying, "tell the team we're running laps."

wonbin balks, looking in your direction to see if you'd come to save them. "but we won, cap!"

"no, sungchan and i won. the team is running laps," eunseok grinds out and wonbin immediately retreats backwards, understanding the situation a bit too clearly.

he sets off into a sprint and the team is quick to follow when they see the confusing expression on their captain's face. there was a mix of shame, heartbreak, confusion, guilt, and even some anger on his face and the team was just going to have to take the brunt of his emotions for now. he had a valid point, after all.

you were none the wiser about the soccer team's struggles until your friend, kim minjeong, looks back to see her friend, park wonbin, running in repeated circles before the fog starts to cover the soccer field. she shoves her hands into the pockets of her sweater before shaking her head.

"you know that eunseok was asking you out, right?" she asks and you scoff, pushing her slightly.

"you're insane minjeong. i think that jekyll and hyde is finally getting to you," you jest slightly, referencing her english project. "why the hell would eunseok ask me out?"

"because he wants to spend time with you? because you're a fun person when people get to know you? because he likes you, i don't know!" minjeong exclaims, stopping dead in her tracks and throwing her hands up.

"no, that can't be true," you say, but when you turn to look at what minjeong was looking at, you find that your eyes search the field until they lock with eunseok's eyes, which are trained on you and he cocks his head, causing you to shiver and face forward.

"are you sure?" minjeong asks, looking back and forth between you and eunseok as you march forward determinedly.

"i'm sure. there's no way that eunseok likes me."

+++

you were sure that eunseok didn't like you. that was what you had told minjeong and ning yizhuo, another one of your good friends, when the two of them had confronted you again later. that's the truth, as far as you're aware.

that's what made the most sense too; why the hell would the ace soccer captain be any level of interested in a person who spent all of their time studying and tutoring? someone who was known to be a reserved and kind enough person but a complete hardass when it came to their academics?

yizhuo's words echo in your mind as you sit on your bed, having completed your nightly routine of taking your vitamins and doing your skincare.

he'd never ask you if he wasn't interested.

you hated when she was right. especially when it meant that you were wrong about something. most especially because it meant that you were being emotionally unaware of something.

you stare at your phone, as if staring at it long enough would produce the answers you're searching for - the same thing you'd been doing for the past half hour. you know that you should go to sleep soon; you didn't have any tutoring tomorrow but you were planning on using the time to study, not having had much time over the weekdays to study.

but almost against your own reason and will, your arm reaches for your phone and types out a message recklessly, pressing send before your brain has the time to catch up to the antics of your foolish heart.

you: you wanna go to the arcade with me tomorrow?

you gasp at your own message, scandalized by your sudden initiative and something so out of character for you. you couldn't remember the last time you'd spent more than a couple minutes doing something fun.

actually, that was a lie. you'd just gone to eunseok's game. and you'd had fun. it was something about him that made you want to set down your pens and embrace life. or something else cheesy like that.

your heart jumps when eunseok's response comes, not even a minute after you'd sent the initial message.

song eunseok: i'd lvoe to. song eunseok: **love song eunseok: no tutoring tomorrow?

you type out a response, looking up to check the time on the desktop computer, catching a glimpse of your reflection. why the hell were you smiling?

you: not tomorrow. they canceled since they're going to busan for the weekend. song eunseok: ohhh i see. song eunseok: then let's do it! 1pm? you: sounds good. you: :)

you cast your phone aside on your nightstand, not bothering to read whatever messages eunseok had sent afterwards, instead drifting off into a somewhat peaceful and somewhat anticipatory sleep as you dreamt of the next day.

+++

you're uncharacteristically nervous, knee bouncing as you check your watch for the time for the third time in the past thirty seconds. much to your dismay, it was still very much 12:45 PM.

never had you been this nervous on the day of an important exam or a recital for violin. mostly because those were things that came somewhat easily to you - practice, practice, practice and you would succeed in any task given to you.

but friends? specifically friends who asked you on dates (according to yizhuo and minjeong, that's what this was)? you were somewhere between absolutely lost and crazy scared.

it's just eunseok, you have to breathe and remind yourself. just song eunseok. the stoic soccer team captain. your english project partner. the one that you've been getting a little too influenced by lately.

you consider turning around and heading home to safer territories (textbooks) and bailing on eunseok but before you can put your escape plan into action, the bane of your existence and cause for your issues appears in your vision, jogging over to you with the classic blank face that you've grown used to.

the shit-eating grin on his face that grows when he sees you already sitting on the bench outside the arcade is something that you're not used to, however, and it makes you blush at the implication.

"i'm a very punctual person," you say as soon as eunseok is in earshot, your ego smarting.

"i never said anything," eunseok retorts and you just harrumph, crossing your arms over your chest. "besides, i thought i'd definitely get here before you. you know, to practice."

your eyebrows knit together as you try to decipher the meaning behind his words. "to practice? practice what?"

eunseok's smile grows a little more bashful and sincere as he turns to face the arcade, unable to face you. "practice showing you that i'm worth wasting your saturday afternoon on instead of studying."

you fumble for words, leaping to your feet and marching into the arcade. "i'm not wasting my saturday afternoon on you! i'm - i'm showing you that i can be fun!"

eunseok just watches you enter the arcade, a dopey expression on his face and he jogs to follow you inside, slinging an arm around you in a casual motion that neither him nor you were expecting.

"you're plenty of fun, y/n. you have nothing to prove." eunseok's voice is soft and sweet above your head, and a little too sincere for you to pass over his words nonchalantly. you step just the slightest bit closer into his embrace, an action that doesn't go unnoticed by him and his grip, previously loose and lax so that you could push him off whenever, grows just the tightest bit stronger.

"that sounds like someone who's scared of getting their ass kicked in dance dance revolution."

"oh hell no. you're on, miss school topper."

+++

as much as you hate to admit it, you have an incredible time with eunseok at the arcade. although you don't live up to your own expectations of your performance at arcade games (you chalk it up to lack of practice), eunseok exceeds your expectations.

even games that he says that he's never attempted before come to him easily, and he beats you at every single one of them, even with handicaps such as shooting with one hand for the basketball game or closing his eyes and playing whack a mole.

it's somewhat damaging to your street cred (not that you were banking on any street cred, to be honest) but eunseok manages soothe your ego by winning you three plushies at the claw machine (which he was also good at; you were starting to think that he was ai). two of them were matching so you hand him one of them, saying that it could be a good way to remember this afternoon together.

"i don't think i forget this afternoon," eunseok says when you hand him the plushie.

"hm?" you ask, somewhat distracted by the cute plushies in your arms.

"nothing," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "what do you say we go get some coffee? there's a really nice café nearby here."

"oh yeah, lets go. i love memories café; i study there all the time," you say, hugging the plushies to your chest.

"really? one of my friends works there! you should've told me before; i would've gotten you free coffee this whole time," eunseok exclaims, waving goodbye to the arcade employee that he'd become rather familiar with after all his visits to their establishment. the employee points to you subtly and gives him a thumbs up to indicate her approval of eunseok's type, and he just fake bows in agreement, walking out the arcade with a silly smile.

"which one? the tall one? i forget his name but he's pretty popular on campus, isn't he?" you say, your voice growing unsure as you try to place him in your memory.

"sungchan?" eunseok asks darkly, a troubled expression on his face. "yeah, he's pretty popular. for being pretty. and popular. and good at a lot of stuff."

"yeah, sungchan! he's the one who works there, isn't he? yizhuo always drags me to go when he's working because she thinks he's cute," you say before turning to eunseok with a gasp. "don't tell anyone i told you that! god, i can't believe i let that slip!"

eunseok chokes out a laugh, shaking his head. "i won't tell anyone, trust me. but, uh, do you think that he's cute? i mean you come to café pretty often right? is it because...because you think he's cute?"

you frown, trying to conjure his face in your mind before shrugging. "nah. i mean i see why people think he's cute but he's not really my type."

eunseok's heart leaps for joy before stopping at the end of your sentence. "uh, you have a type?"

he opens the door to the café for you when you reach it. you enter it, mumbling a quick thanks as you brush past him.

"sure. which teenage girl doesn't?" you quip, not even bothering to read the menu, already sure of what you were going to get.

eunseok scans the café, before groaning internally as his eyes land on his co-captain, flashing sweet smiles to every person that steps up to the register, never failing to make them swoon.

"care to share?" eunseok asks, shielding you from sungchan, wanting to prevent the clash for as long as possible.

"only if you do," you retort, and eunseok's stuck between figuring out how to keep you from seeing sungchan (or realistically, sungchan from seeing you) and how to tell you that you were his type, without actually saying your name.

he's saved and damned at the same time when sungchan calls out his name, and you peek around eunseok's body to see sungchan standing there in all of his tall, beautiful glory.

"sungchan, hey," eunseok says with a grumble, and you look up at him worriedly. he rushes to fix his tone, not wanting you to think that he was a salty or shitty friend.

"i see you've brought a friend," sungchan says smugly, and he extends his hand over the counter for you to shake. "hi! i'm sungchan, eunseok's co-captain."

you accept his hand, shaking it politely. "nice to meet you. eunseok's talked you up a lot. i'm y/n, by the way."

sungchan's eyes dart to eunseok at the mention of his praise, who's still brooding slightly, with a slight smile on his face. "trust me, there's no person at our school who doesn't know our resident number one academic. you haven't given up the throne since the day you stepped in our school."

you blush, trying to shrug casually. "i'm just really lucky to have the opportunities i do."

"intelligent, humble, and beautiful? how'd you get a girl like this to give you the time of day, seok-ie?" sungchan says, and it's like rubbing salt in the wound. sungchan is joking, and eunseok logically knows that he is just teasing him for finally working up the courage to ask you out three years after he developed feelings for you. but for some reason, the sweet smile on your face directed at sungchan instead of him made him upset.

"trust me, i have no clue either. she's pretty much perfect, isn't she?" eunseok says finally, and the sheer sincerity in his voice is enough for you to rip your gaze away from sungchan and to eunseok, who's looking at you with honey dripping from his eyes.

the sweetness in his eyes makes your heart race for some reason and you clear your throat, unable to turn away from eunseok for a good couple seconds before looking at the menu behind sungchan's head.

"well, uh, could i get a vanilla latte please? hot, not iced," you say, hating the quirk in your voice. eunseok's gaze is heavy on your face and he can barely find it in himself to turn away, ordering the same thing as you.

sungchan smirks, entering the order as his eyes dart between you and eunseok, both standing less than a foot apart but unable to look at each other.

"alright. i'll bring it over to your table, then. pro tip, the second floor has the best spot to watch the sunset in thirty minutes," sungchan says. eunseok nods in thanks, pulling out his wallet to offer sungchan a ten thousand won bill to cover your coffee and his own but sungchan just waves him away.

"today's coffee is on me. for the momentous occasion of song eunseok going on a date for the first time in his life," sungchan says and your head whips to see eunseok's reaction.

this was his first date? you think. but he's so popular! and so handsome...how has no one asked him out before?

almost as though sungchan can read your mind, he responds for eunseok. "he's been asked out so many times but he insisted that he was waiting for the one."

sungchan's words barely register in your mind, and your thoughts are still racing when eunseok guides you upstairs and to the table that sungchan had suggested.

"you've been waiting for the one?" you ask with an incredulous tone and eunseok tries his best to play it off casually.

"sungchan just says whatever. it's mostly because i didn't have the time," eunseok explains. and because none of the people who asked me out were you, he thinks, but doesn't voice aloud.

"hm. honestly, before you asked me out, i kinda thought i was going to die single," you admit after a couple moments of silence.

"why would you think that? we're only eighteen! and besides, you're smart, talented at violin, beautiful, and a bunch of other things i can't think of right now. anyone would be lucky to date you," eunseok says indignantly and you smile, but it doesn't quite reach your eyes.

"if i'm being honest with you, it's all just to cover up my own insecurities. in middle school, i wasn't that smart and i didn't really care about my grades. i had a crush on this kid - i think his name was shotaro? - but he didn't really notice me. i wasn't the smartest kid in the grade, or the prettiest one, or even rich enough to dress up nicely and wear the things i wanted to.

"i don't think he actually cared about any of that stuff but my own insecurities sabotaged me enough to convince myself that he wanted nothing to do with me because i wasn't good enough. so i threw myself into everything i could. violin, academics, working out - everything. i started getting quieter and quieter because i thought that no one would want to listen to what i had to say.

"and the more i did things like that, the more i got used to being like that. i got used to being alone and focusing on my academics and stuff. even minjeong and yizhuo have always been closer to each other than they have been to me. they do fun things without me and that's mostly my fault because i never truly let them in but i don't know. it's hard to remind myself that people want to be my friend.

"especially because everyone thinks that all i think about is stuff like my studies and violin. it's hard to have fun and make memories when there's no one to make memories with. i just wish that i could have days like this, where i go out and have fun and do the things i want to with someone who wants to make memories with me."

you sigh, brushing away the tears that had welled up in your eyes as you had spoke. eunseok is silent the whole time and you finally come to your senses, rushing to lean forward in your chair and explain your sudden outburst of emotions.

"i'm so sorry for talking your ear off! i have no clue what my problem is; i promise i'm not usually so full of myself. i don't know why i'm talking about myself so much - "

eunseok doesn't let you finish. before your brain can even process, eunseok's lips are on your cheek, and your entire body just freezes.

and before you can understand what's happening, eunseok's back in his chair, looking at you as if you were the one who had kissed him, rather than vice versa.

"sorry! i just - i didn't mean to kiss you without your consent. i'm sorry. i just really don't want you to continue berating yourself," eunseok says. "i really like you and it really sucks to know that the one person that you like the most - the person that you wish nothing but the best for - doesn't like themself nearly as much as you do."

he leans forward in his chair, turning his head so that his cheek was facing you.

"you should slap me. i can take it! i deserve it, anyway," eunseok says, squeezing his eyes shut when he feels a breeze descend on his cheek. but instead of the stinging of a slap, it feels as though a soft pillow has touched his cheek.

eunseok opens his eyes to see you leaning over the table to press your lips to his cheek and in his shock, he turns his head and suddenly his lips are on yours and you're kissing in this café.

it's like fireworks explode in eunseok's body, especially when you raise your hand to touch his cheek gently before pulling away, eunseok resting his forehead against yours.

"this is cute and all but do you mind doing this at home? i'm gonna lose my job and maybe my lunch if i have to watch this any longer," says sungchan's smug voice from behind eunseok, and the two of you leap backwards into your respective chairs.

"sorry man," eunseok manages to choke out, and you just hide your face in your hands, too embarrassed to look up.

"don't mind me," sungchan quips, setting down the two cups of coffee and retreating down the stairs, shoulders shaking from trying to hide his laughs.

"this is going to be all over school, isn't it?" you groan, your head letting a resounding thunk when you collapse against the table. eunseok gets up to hunt down and sungchan and swear (read: threaten) him to secrecy but you reach out, catching eunseok's sleeve.

you let go when eunseok stops to look at you, a hot flush on your cheeks. "i don't mind it, honestly. i mean, i was never expecting my first relationship to be such a public one but there's no sense in hiding things right?"

"wait, wait, wait. we're in a relationship? that you're okay with being public with?" eunseok says, and he can see you visibly debate back-peddling and taking back your statement or going forward with conviction.

it seems that you've chosen full throttle when you cross your arms over your chest, leaning on the table. "isn't that what you want too? a relationship? i'm assuming that you wouldn't kiss me if you didn't want me to be something more than a friend to you and i wouldn't kiss you if i wasn't open to exploring being that something more."

eunseok feels as though he's on cloud nine, slinking back into his chair with the satisfaction of a cat with a bowl of cream.

"trust me, there's nothing that i want more than that."

+++

as the two of you had expected, the school is quick to catch onto the budding relationship between you and eunseok and quite frankly, it feels refreshing for you to be associated with something other than excelling your academics.

eunseok breathes fresh air into your life just by his mere presence. he coerces you into coming to his soccer matches, never failing to run into the bleachers to scoop you up in his arms and kiss you like you're the only two people in the world.

the news of the resident ms. brain and mr. brawn dating had spread like wildfire, and an instagram post with eunseok spinning you and kissing you after winning the seoul championships garners over four hundred thousand views, your romance going viral. so viral, in fact, that someone had created an instagram account just to document your relationship - the account had over three thousand followers, as of the last time you checked.

you'd initially thought that the attention that your relationship spun up would cause issues between the two of you but more than anything, it caused you to work through any issues that came up with communication and healthy relationship counseling (sungchan flirting with you until eunseok finally got off his ass and apologized after fucking up - only whenever fights were about stupid things that either of you were too proud to give in about).

and just like that, months passed by within the blink of an eye. the instagram account (you're somewhat sure that park wonbin and kim minjeong were running the account from sheer amount of footage from close up the instagram page featured) posted a video of eunseok playing insanely well at a match after one of the times that sungchan had been called in reinforcements.

eunseok's dream college had extended a soccer scholarship, and he'd committed within twenty fours of receiving the offer and soon after, you committed to the same college.

when various people, eunseok included, asked you why you'd chosen to go to the same school as eunseok, rather than a bigger or more prestigious school (although this school was still top six in the nation), you'd just smiled and leaned into eunseok's embrace.

"i can study and do well anywhere. i can't make memories to cherish and share for the rest of my life if i go anywhere else." is all you say to everyone who asked and eunseok thanks his lucky stars that he'd kissed you that day in the café to be able to hold you and talk about a future with the two of you like this.

and just as fast the last couple months had passed by, a full ten years pass by. the ten years are filled with moments of happiness and sadness, laughs and tears, but filled with life that you wouldn't trade for the world.

and when you and eunseok walk together to the high school reunion held at someone's restaurant, hand in hand, looking the same as you had as stupidly in love teenagers ten years ago, next to no one is suprised.

"look who it is! it's mrs. brawn and mr. brain now," someone calls out, causing all of your classmates to erupt into laughter. the both of you just look at each other and smile, flagging down where sungchan and minjeong are sitting and taking your own seats next to them.

"by the way, eunseok, how'd you get our resident genius to go out with you anyway? or even fall in love hard enough to go to the same college as you?" someone you don't really recognize asks from the other side of the restaurant and the entire restaurant buzzes with excitement, waiting for eunseok's answer.

eunseok smiles and exchanges a look with sungchan, a teasing glint in his eyes. "let's just say that sungchan isn't allowed within ten feet of my wife."

and with that, the restaurant breaks out into cheers and laughter, everyone returning to their conversation, the attention turning to the most eligible bachelor of their grade, jung sungchan.

minjeong leans over to whisper in your ear. "it's a good thing you had a private wedding; i bet half of these people don't know that sungchan was eunseok's best man."

you shrug, laughing freely with everyone else. "half of these people also don't know that you and sungchan have been dating for the past three years."

eunseok's wedding band flashes under the light as he raises his glass to toast to the 'inside joke' that the four of you shared, clinking his beer with the three of you.

"to the bambi boy and the winter girl!"

"to mr. brawn and mrs. brain!"

"i can't believe i graduated from ms. brain to mrs. brain."

"and i can't believe that you and eunseok have been together for eleven years instead of fourteen because eunseok was too much of a pussy to ask you out when he started liking you."

"JUNG SUNGCHAN, I'M GOING TO FLAY YOU!"

"don't skin my fiancé please. you can do whatever you want after the wedding."

"i can't believe my fiancé hates me this much."

"i can't believe these people are our friends."

"i can't believe i finally scored mrs. brain."

[dream-bee-baby]

MATCHUP EXCHANGE — HOTD & JJK

I am super excited to do this exchange thank you so much again and I can’t wait to see the results!

MISC: For HOTD, I would prefer to be matched with a male character and preferably the targaryens if that’s something you can do ofc :) and for JJK, I’m fine with anyone as long as they aren’t minors (this also goes for HOTD).

My name is Jaxrel! People mostly use “Jax” as a nickname for me which is perfectly fine! I go by many other names like Ian, Alex, Levi, etc. I go by he/him pronouns, i’m a (trans)male, and im bisexual with more of a male preference. I’m an aquarius. chaotic neutral/evil. choleric-sanguine, morally-grey. ENTP, extrovert (but also introverted as well). enneagram-4w3, and a Slyffindor. :D

PERSONALITY:

Σ੧(❛□❛✿) I'm very extroverted but I also have introvert traits as well. My personality is very unique but also a bit hard to describe. I'm very confident, straightforward and I have a sense of justice for myself (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses "big" words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(l'm nosy and I love gossip/drama), I can be a rule breaker(sometimes don't mean to). l'm extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker (I can also be really quiet to the point where no one around me can hear), emotions come off as sarcastic or silly due to autism). I’m also pretty monotone/nonchalant and blunt(unintentionally). As for my sense of humor I can be sometimes crude. l'm a very chill and intelligent person but some people would say I have some "repressed anger issues, get a reallyyy overractive Brain, tend to get deep and philosophical when I'm left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked. Usually when I meet people I come off as awkward and shy and sometimes even distant and cold but l'lI get comfortable with them soon enough. Usually at first I can come off as cold and calculative in demeanor but it can get mixed up for me being arrogant or detached from people around me. l'm always there for someone no matter what. I'm the dad friend. When I go out I always bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapsticks (pretty much anything you can think of). I have a lot of social awareness but i often intentionally act in a rash and unapologetic way because personally i do not care at all for social norms or rules. As l'm the dad friend (also the therapist friend too) l've been told give a lot of good advice and im also a very good listener too. I tend to take risks for my curiosity or if it’s for something I really have to know. Here’s more information about me

MISC:

(^з^)-☆ I've been diagnosed with a lot of disorders such as Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, BPD + etc, it's hard especially with my Autism, sadly a lot of these run in my family unfortunately and I gotten a lot of them, I'm prone to psychosis / delusions and sometimes it happens in episodes that can last for months. I also get really mad if people piss me off which goes for my repressed anger issues. I love texting with kaomojis and silly little emoticon thingies :D. I’ve been compared to Victor Nikiforov a lot because of how cheerful can be and from what I know I don't seem to understand -or even care about-conventional social norms. I also have that rock star charm. And as an extra I can always dazzle woman and men alike without a single glance). Clumsy (accidentally + sometimes purposely). Misuses slangs or common phases. Im able to pick up new skills relativity easy. I can sometimes point out the most oblivious things and sometimes miss so many details. Prone to be a bit directionless in life and prone to bad luck but try to find humor in most situations. I approach life to live a life of varied experiences, not take life too seriously, to not dwell on the past. I’m comfortable with confrontation and I don’t shy away from conflict (I often meet heated conflict with a snarky/condescending smile, a bit combative with authority and those who irritate me) but is generally easygoing, even-tempered, logical, intelligent (as I said previously…), not sentimental, does not hold onto regrets, good at self-reflection, generally does things out of self-interest but willingly helps others out occasionally. Affectionate with loved ones, very teasing(only if I know that they don’t mind), I wanna be a youtuber / twitch streamer who games a lot and reacts to vocaloid songs, true crime, etc… My lucky colors are all shades of yellow, gold and green. My lucky gems are moonstone, cats-eye, peral and any kind of white stone, my lucky bontanicals are elder, blackberrys, hops, juniper, linseed, grapes and all types of fruit juices.

KINS:

Σ੧(❛□❛✿) hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld). eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars), miyamura izumi (horimiya), michael afton (FNAF), william afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), urumi akamaki (alice in borderland), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), argenti (honaki star rail), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), kanade uryuu (platinum end), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more.

KINS I RELATE TO THE MOST:

Σ੧(❛□❛✿) Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice), Tei (Nameless), Cutthroat (Akudama Drive, Except the Bloodlust cutthroat has.), Gu Won (King The Land), Ranpo Edogawa (Bungo Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungo Stray Dogs), Space Ishtar (Fate), Okita Souji (Fate), Langa Hasegawa (Sk8 The Infinity), Sherlock Holmes (TGAA), Suguru Niragi (Alice In Borderland), Mira Kano (Alice In Borderland), Aguni (Alice In Borderland), Shuntaro Chishiya (Alice In Borderland), Takeru Danma (Alice In Borderland), Zack (Final Fantasy 7), William James Moriarty (Moriarty The Patriot), Vash The Stampede (Trigun), Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist), Otonashi Yuzuru (Angel Beats), Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom), Mafuyu Asahina (Project Sekai: Colorful Stage), Vanitas (Study Case of Vanitas), Zoe Hange (AOT), Shinoa Hiragi (Seraph of The End) + more

HOBBIES:

Σ੧(❛□❛✿) gaming, anthropology pathology, theology, zoology, music, dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG's, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/ basketball, skating and swimming, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it, I can play 5 instruments which is the piano, cello, koto and bass/electric guitar, I know 6 languages and I'm learning more right now (which are hindi, german, thai, portuguese, cantonese and chinese if your interested).

HOBBIES MISC:

Σ੧(❛□❛✿) I love gaming a lot and I play a lot of survival horror games, role-playing games, visual novels, etc, spent a lot of my money on games for my nintendo, Ps5 and computer. I play too much on roblox and basically during my freetime when I'm not studying other things I like/OR for school I'm usually in my gaming seat playing away and eating junk food. The games I really enjoy playing is roblox, class of 09, needy streamer overdose, honaki impact 3rd, omori, any rhythm games, any horror games and etc… I also like writing and reading a lot, including with a studying new things with history, languages, etc. I love taking naps too and I also enjoy watching youtube (my favorite youtubers are flamingo, berleezy, kub scoutz, markiplier, benoftheweek, funkyfrogbait, etc). This also includes with me liking to watch movies as well, same goes for tv shows, animes, asian dramas, etc.. (I also tend to rewatch a lot but not too much; like watching the harry potter movies, any of the marvel movies, horror movies, etc). I've been told I'm a very good dancer! I do belly dancing and I also do hiphop dancing as well. I've been in a lot of sports for years now since I was little (thank you to my mother for forcing me :,D) and now I'm in so many! and l've won a lot of rewards and I've been to a couple championships all because of me.

LIKES:

Σ੧(❛□❛✿)Chocolate, Strawberries, Pizza, Iced Coffee and Boba Tea, Anime/ Manga, Music, Food, Winning in arguments online or irl, Reading, Cats, Sharks, Animals in general, Cold/or Rainy Weather, Shopping, Action or Romance movies, Kdrama(pretty much any asian dramas), Skincare + GWRM routines (I ENJOY doing those things, they make me feel so awake), Spicy & Sweet Food, Wax Candy, Chinese Takeout, Chicken(any kind of meat), Ramen.

MUSIC:

Σ੧(❛□❛✿) I LOVE music a lot. I'm a k/jpop stan, I listen to metal/rock a lot, I listen to vkei and vocaloid a lot too, this is also another genre I enjoy listening to but idk what to call it but it's similar to 6arelyhuman, Odetari, Kets4eki, etc (I make similar music to them and I’m a small vocaloid producer), I also listen to a lot of indie pop, rap music and scene music. I've been a really big lemon demon fan and I really like listening to any sad music too.

LOVE LANGUAGES:

Σ੧(❛□❛✿)Gift-Giving, Physical Touch, Quality time. You wouldn’t know how much I enjoy it when someone gifts me something I love/like a LOT, for example like getting me cherry pepsis, energy, arizona tea, etc and anything food/drink related or even giving me plushies, chocolate strawberries or even a sanrio plushie bouquet I’ll be over the moon and it makes me feel like I’m loved. I’m pretty clingy when I’m not doing anything ngl, I love physical touch as much as I love receiving gifts, I love hugging my beloveds close to me and lay my head on their shoulder, I’ll also listen to my partner and everything! They’ll get whatever they want from me since I would throw my money to get them what they want and I’ll just be there for them. I love going out whenever I can, I love aquariums a lot and o would love to have those kind of dates, I enjoy shopping too, like for clothes, merch, books, etc, I’ll probably spend my entire life’s savings on those things.

APPEARANCE:

Σ੧(❛□❛✿) l'm pretty tall l'm 5'9 right now and l'm on the very skinny side / very slender. I'm half Polish and half West Asian (Iraqi). People usually get confused and a lot I get questions if I'm from Hawaii, Brazil or Mexico (even though I’m not from either of those country’s I’m happy that people think that), I have dyed black hair. My hair is pretty short (but a little long only going down my neck a few inches) but I get a lot of compliments for it. When I get out of bed from sleeping my hair is always looking like a mess (psst I also have bangs too. Ive been told I look both masculine and feminine). I’ve also been told that I look a lot like those hot webtoon characters. I have piercings (one in (?) my nose, two on the bottom of my lips, and a couple more on both of my ears). I want a tattoo so bad, If I ever get one it would be on the side of my belly and it would be a spider tattoo. I have a dimple on my chin and I have hazel almond eyes.

AESTHETIC/CLOTHING STYLE:

Ok so this is definitely what makes me unique to people other than my personality, my fashion extends to gyaruo (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), scenemo/emo (ofc), & Y2K, shoujo, jirai kei, vkei, ouji and lolita, suits (+ MORE). I only wear all these outfits in a more masculine way on so many days, but I sometimes wear some feminine as well (usually going for gyaru, scenemo, lolita, jiari kei, etc, especially hime gyaru omfg). I usually wear these fashion outfits whenever I’m in school, when i'm out somewhere, during my job, or just to look cool. Whenever I'm not in my crazy outfits I'm usually dressed in my "IDGAF" outfits by that I mean are like pj pants and a black shirt, usually I look like I'm alternative whenever I'm not dressed, I wear a lot of jeans, sweatshirts, etc.

HOTD INFO:

Σ੧(❛□❛✿) I’m definitely from a royal family (I think House Martell would be perfect for me). I would also come from a different house (this is a made-up house but I feel like it would be perfect to add in here) and that other house is also very powerful as much as the other royal houses, it’s located in a very dark/gloomy place and it’s away from the villages and it’s castle is more gothic looking and large, with this I would be from two different royal houses. Even though I wouldn’t have so much Targaryen blood in me I was able to claim one of the most powerful dragons known. I would be a really good political person and can possibly win for either side or somehow keep peace with them while they’ll get whatever they want, it would be simple for me. I would totally wear a lot of ouji / vkei in this universe as well, I’d be called a dark prince due to how much gothic-looking clothes I would wear for sure, but I would also have the cutest wardrobe ever too, since I wear a lot of pink as well I would have the best dresses too, just I wouldn’t wear them so often. I also think that I would be king material as well… honestly I would make a really good king if I think about it. Though, in this universe I think I would be more manipulative and cruel (but at the bare minimum + it’s only towards naïve strangers). I’d definitely be many things while being royal (historian, philosopher, poet, writer, counsellor AND adviser).

Thank you so much again! I cant wait :)

House of the Dragon:

I ship you with Aemon Targaryen! I wasn't even done reading your info before I paired you two together. I think Aemond is the perfect balance of dangerous and stable for you

Aemond would definitely wait awhile before introducing you to Vhagar, but the two of you would get along well. She's a war dragon and incredibly ancient, so ultimately Vhagar is going to do what she wants. She also sees these traits in you, she would trust you to respect her and her wisdom. You and Aemond would ride around whenever you were both available. Maybe even setting some things on fire for funsies

You help bring Aemond out of his shell, encourage him to live a little. Since he's hesitant to show vulnerability around his family, especially his brother, the two of you alone is when he really shines. Spending time trading knowledge and books in the library, he would love to see you out in the gardens painting. You would even be able to capture Vhagar's beauty and you two would bond one on one

I think Aemond would love to learn some of the languages you know as well. Obviously he speaks both english and high valyrian, you wouldn't even have to ask. He'd just start speaking to you in another language just to make sure you feel seen. He'd also totally make sure you had all the instruments you could ever want in the house. If anyone was ever caught complaining about the noise, he'd instantly hurt them

When Aemond cares and is dedicated about something, he has the patience despite feeling confused. I think sometimes you would baffle him, both with your contrasting personality traits and with your mental health struggles (obviously this isn't exactly things they would regard back then). But I think Aemond would really be willing to support you the best he can. If you ever suffered a long episode he would make sure important things were around you (food, water, comfort items, etc). I think he would remain quiet, not knowing what to say, but he'd never leave your side. He'd read to you and tell you all about his family drama

I don't think Aemond is one for heavily fancy things, but he'd get you anything you wanted. It would perhaps find it strange you like children's toys (that's how he would regard plushies and such), and he wouldn't want them on the bed but he'd make sure you were stacked. Commissioning people to create plushies or toys of Vhagar, your personal dragon, etc. He'd encourage you to express yourself however you want, if his family had a problem with it they'd have to take it up with his dragon

He isn't good with words but he still makes things incredibly intimate. Lighting candles/incense of your favorite scents, visiting your home as often as you'd like, lightly playing with your hair or caressing the skin his hand was on/around. He would feel respected and comforted by you. Being both gentle and caring but honest with him. You'd be partners in crime, balancing both cruelty and deciding it's not worth your energy. The two of you are always learning how to better understand, read, and support each other. Creating an eternally engaging and loving relationship

Jujustu Kaisen:

I ship you with Takuma Ino! He's not super popular, but I had a good feeling about the two of you together

Ino carries immense respect for those more experienced around him, as seen with Nanami. He did not want to advance to level 1 without Nanami's approval. He's very upbeat, dedicated, and loving.

Depending on who he is around, Ino has the complexity to be more fun and youthful or be more quiet and responsible. I think this is also a good match for you. Ino is able to make things very fun and loving, even in serious situations. I think (and I could be wrong) it would help you feel grounded. Having someone who is both caring but casual can help things feel more calming

I think the only potential conflict is he's very ethical, he thinks things should be done the best way possible. But unfortunately, not everything can be done without bloodshed. You would definitely tell him the upfront truth of what needs to be done, which also helps him remain safe. He finds a way to keep innocent people safe, but you can do the more dirty work to make sure that the threat is properly exterminated and his life isn't in any additional danger

He strikes me as someone with many hobbies, perhaps he jumps from project to project. The two of you would definitely bond over your unique and many interests. Ino would have lots of different training equipment scattered around with your instruments, maybe even timing his breathing or movements to the pace of your playing

Ino struggles with some self confidence and I think you're perfect for him in that sense. You're sure of yourself, your taste, and how much you care for him. It would help him gain confidence in himself and avoid insecurity in your relationship. He loves to see your different styles, although he is very simple and minimalist he loves seeing you happy and confident

He'd help you dye your hair, maybe help do diy piercings or pay for your new ones. He'd help clean up and care for you if you were ever struggling. I don't think he experiments with his own fashion, but I think he'd be willing to do some subtle matching emo looks as he wears all black. I think you two are very sunshine and moon pairing. He'd love kissing your chin dimple and would make you breakfast. He'd buy a fancy coffee machine and get all the flavor syrups you'd ever want. He'd make you drinks whenever you wanted, in the mornings while he brewed your coffee he'd move your bangs and hair back into place after it got messed up while sleeping

[blazinghotfoggynights]

This fandom is turning into a madhouse!

Why? 😢

What is all the arguing about? Why are fans taking sides in multiple standoffs. How are these wars starting?

What I have to say may not be well-received by some sides in the numerous boxing matches active in this fandom right now, but I'm going to say my piece. 🤷‍♀️ I am not responsible for white-hot rage, tears, or epiphanies that you don't want. So, proceed at your own risk. Or whatever.

Buddie vs BuckTommy

BuckTommy fans, Buddie fans were not seeing things. Those characters were written as being pulled into each other's orbits and it was more than platonic. It wasn't blatant, and it has been hinted it couldn't be due to the network. Even now, with Eddie and Buck being in relationships, and Eddie somehow being in multiple, they are still using Buddie to promote the show. If they are not going to happen, then why the use that to get ratings? That is the definition of baiting.

Buddie fans, BuckTommy is canon. They may not last or they may be endgame. We won't know until it happens. Why lose your mind over fictional characters that one man controls? It's simple. If you feel they played the Buddie card only to put Eddie in a mess of epic proportions and make Buck become Evan Buckley-Kinard, tune out and keep fanfic alive. Do you know how many fandoms have followed that process? If Tommy was brought back just as a plot device, then it's not much better than baiting.

You know what would be hilarious? Buck meets a third person, falls in love, and marries them.

It would shut both sides down if it was a woman. (I may have a petty streak and if I were in charge, I could see making it Taylor or Abby.)😈🤣(Maybe then the warring factions could call a truce over tears and beers.)

Tommy Kinard was not a good guy. That's not delusion. That's canon.

BuckTommy fans, the character of Tommy Kinard has done multiple problematic things, and the writers are not addressing any of it. Telling people to get over it is not cool. Being closeted or confused is no excuse for calling Chimney the delivery guy and Hen the b-word. He was actively and willingly participating is some of the worst forms of bullying someone can experience. He wasn't a teenager who was just trying to fit in. He was a grown man. No excuses for his behavior are acceptable and, in the real world, you would be hard-pressed to find his victims forgiving him. They would not be his friends.

I can see why women, especially black women and LGBTQ women, and non-white men, especially Asian men, would say they don't like how his past transgressions are being ignored. He was openly racist and misogynist. That is canon. Nothing was misunderstood or misinterpreted. Tommy was a d*ck.

If you watch how Lou is portraying Tommy, there are indications that what we saw in season 2 is a part of his personality. The lack of discussion about his past could be intentional because it may come up in the future.

How has no one noticed how he speaks to Buck sometimes? Maybe I am just older than most in the fandom and have experienced a lot more, but there are things about Tommy Kinard's behavior that don't seem very...nice. The way he speaks to Buck sometimes is like he is dismissing what he thinks or feels. Sometimes he seems to be speaking to Buck as if he is a child. I was offended on Buck's behalf.

The biggest CAUTION sign so far was when he admitted he is jealous of the 118. What? That doesn't even make sense! Think about it. Tommy went out of his way to make the 118 hostile toward anyone who wasn't a het white male. When Bobby took over and changed the culture, he brought respect and openness which cultivated the friendship, and eventual love, that created the family the 118 is now. Tommy could have easily come out to the team under Bobby, apologized, and began building the bridges he burned. But he did not.

Tommy chose his side but now he is jealous of the work Bobby put in to clean up Gerrard's mess? Could it be something else giving his jealousy life? Could Tommy be resentful that the exclusive, prejudice environment he happily embraced, and helped keep in place, under Gerrard disappeared and because an inclusive tight-knit family created from the outcasts?

That is a very real possibility and if that is the case, it says a lot about Tommy Kinard and could lead to an interesting arc in the remainder of season 7 and season 8.

Eddie Diaz is not a bad guy.

I think Eddie has been teetering on the edge for many seasons. TBH, I am surprised he has been as stable as he has for this long. That man is walking meatsuit full of trauma.

People who are mentally stable and have healthy coping skills do not join underground fighting rings, smash their bedrooms, or ask relative strangers to watch his child and move in. There have been many indications for multiple seasons that Eddie is not in a good place but keeping it together for the sake of his son.

I do not think Eddie is trying to hurt anyone at all. I think he is trying to claw his way out of some hell his mind has had him in for a long time.

That man needs to be taken to the nearest inpatient facility and admitted. (If you are thinking of making a negative comment stigmatizing mental health awareness or treatment, reconsider, choose not to, and move along. Mental health is just as important as physical.)

Eddie Diaz is in no condition to be in a relationship with anyone except a therapist right now.

Whether you want Buddie, Eddie/Marisol, or Eddie/Wife's Ghost, if you want to see anyone with this guy right now, I have to ask you if you are feeling okay.

Remember how Eddie's parents didn't want him dragging Christopher down with him? Right now, it looks like Eddie's carefully, barely held together existence is going to go boom. Anyone in the blast radius is in danger. The only dates Edmundo Diaz should be having is at least three times weekly and begin with a mental health professional asking him if he has something he wants to talk about.

Evan "Buck" Buckley is a grown ass man. Stop infantalizing him! They even do it on the show.

I can't be the only one who sometimes forgets that thick mountain of a man is not a young twenty-something just wandering out into the world.

He's in his thirties. He's been in therapy. He's grown. He has to do what all of us adults do: Make decisions, wait to find out what happens, and deal with the consequences.

Say it with me: Buck is not a baby.

No one who has any real knowledge is going to tell fandom what the future holds for the show.

Who doesn't get that?

There are unhinged fans on every side of every current fight.

If you are attacking actors, writers, producers, networks, or anyone else, I have to wonder if you should be in a room next to Eddie after someone who loves him takes him where he should go.

That type of behavior used to get you a room with soft walls and a free jacket that left you in a permahug.

You can make anything you want happen with the characters.

It's call fanfiction and AO3 is wonderful. If there is a great story that hasn't been told, get on Word, Docs, Libre, or whatever you have and start making it a reality!

Authors have major support and respect from the fans.

If writing isn't your thing, but you are great at prompts and don't mind authors taking your prompts and creating stories, find a way to share them!

There are positive ways to channel your eyerolls, frustration, anger, or whatever. Draw fanart. Write fic. Write ideas and throw them at those who draw fanart and write fanfic.

To the whole fandom: CHILL! PLEASE!

I don't want to watch another fandom I enjoy implode. I don't want to see other fandoms assume everyone in this fandom is in need of the soft room and permahug fashion I mentioned earlier.

Been there, done that.

At the end of the day, everyone needs to remember:

It's not real.

[straightouttheslendermansionn]

𝕊𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕠𝕗 ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕪 𝕃𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕖𝕤!

Characters: Diluc, Zhongli, Childe, Alhaitham

Next: ???

CW: Just some dudes and their wingmen/women because they’re big bad and scary but oh so scared of women, Fem! reader.

𝔻𝕀𝕃𝕌ℂ

If he sees a pretty lady while walking around town, he’ll stare, look away, and then speedwalk away as fast as possible. It’ll be hard to notice but he’s so in awe, he just doesn’t want anyone to see that.

Later at night on his patrol, he’ll leave a flower or trinket somewhere he knows you’ll find it.

If it happens to be a day he’s at the Angel’s Share, He will either subtly walk as quickly as possible upstairs, stay behind the bar and his posture will shrink, or he’ll stare at a glass he’s been cleaning for the past 30-45 minutes. He’d look back every so often but look away and try to distract himself.

Venti would totally run free drinks out to you for free booze. Diluc is can barely look at you without all the blood in his body rushing to his face.

Venti sings love songs to you as well and nudges his head over in the direction of the bar, where Diluc stands in all his beauty, flustered and refusing to look in your general direction.

See, he kinda knew Venti would try to embarrass him but he can’t say it, so Venti will.

“Master Diluc over there think’s you’re reallyyy pretty~” ;D

Bonus: Kaeya and Venti will ask Diluc if he is okay and he will rant on and on about how absolutely marvelous, how heaven-sent, how beautiful you are.

ℤ𝕙𝕠𝕟𝕘𝕝𝕚

He is much more subtle but he just doesn’t exactly know how to approach such beauty. It’s so difficult for him.

Since he’s considered “learned” you’d expect a silver tongue all the time? The cat caught his this time and he is lost for words. He can’t help but open his mouth, close it and look away.

He will hide in the funeral parlor and distract himself with work. Hutao gets concerned. They both go out because she drags him around to try door-to-door marketing…

And it’s you on the other side of the door.

She expected him to be able to convince people better than she could with her joking and forward behavior, but he started stuttering.

You staring at him while he speaks with a soft smile and a sweet gaze isn’t making this any easier. Eventually he lets her keep talking until he hears her use her skill of being forward for evil.

“Oh, let me introduce my consultant Zhongli. It seems you’re the reason for his unusual behavior lately.”

“Hutao, all due respect, I—“ he starts, but he can’t finish. If he tried to refute her claims, it’d be obvious. He just looks at you with a sheepish grin and Hutao winks and chimes “I’ll leave you two be. Cya later!”

He ends up asking if you want to get tea and listen to stories or see an opera some time, and unexpected by him, you agreed to accompany him to see a famous Yun Jin performance . Truly a happy ending.

ℂ𝕙𝕚𝕝𝕕𝕖

A firm believer in “equal rights, equal fights”, yet is still scared of women out of respect. Women have always been parental figures and inspirations to him so naturally he is reverent of them.

Tartaglia might be a brutal warrior but he acts like he’s slightly sexist when it’s really him quivering in his boots.

Especially when his opponent is a daring and absolutely stunning Fatui agent who can even keep up with his “delusion unleashed” attacks? He can’t help but start shaking in his psyche.

Because he’s scared of you, naturally he wants to get rid of this fear. What better way to do it?

He first actually saw your face when your mask fell off during a sparring match. He stopped mid-attack and you knocked him on his ass. Ofc he got back up, stood there for a second looking at you panting and grinning, and decided to call it a day.

Eventually, the other harbingers noticed that he was actively avoiding you with a violent blush on his face. They all collectively nudged him and Arlecchino, with her blunt nature, said right in front of you—

“Tartaglia here is a fool who finds it difficult to talk to gorgeous women. That’s the real reason he’s not in the mood to spar.”

Since he can’t do anything to her due to their difference in statuses, all he does is blush and rub his neck, averting his eyes. Your giggling made his embarrassment even worse and he violently turned his face to Arlecchino, who was looking down at him with a smug face.

“Well, now that I know your secret… can we spar again?”

“Sure comrade, whoever wins gets a kiss”

“You’re so stupid. Come on. It’s gunna be me. Since you’re too shy.

𝔸𝕝𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕞

Now he often buries his face in his book, it’s a common occurrence. His posture is never this hunched over though, usually he’s sat with his shoulders straight up and one hand holding it.

This all came about when a pretty Akademiya student walked in with her friends, studying, laughing, brushing hair out of her face… all things Alhaitham took note of.

He was focused and studying your physical cues until one of your friends pointed you out. All you did was smile in his direction and he quickly snapped his neck back to look at Kaveh, then back at a glass of wine.

“You are so awkward, you know that?”

“Hm? This coming from the one who can’t order his own food sometimes?”

“That’s different. You could easily walk over there and talk to her.”

“Her? I don’t know her. How could I possibly be in love with someone I don’t know?”

And now here he is at home, sat cross-legged per usual. But his legs are now shaking and he is having a hard time focusing and keeps having to find his place on the page every few pages.

He swore he isn’t in love but you’re the only thing on his mind and his rational mind cannot possibly think of a reason why. His face is still red seeing you in his mind.

Kaveh notices this and uses this as an opportunity to be snippety.

“You are so hopeless.”

“You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you? Self-proclaimed ‘romantic’.”

Kaveh just smirked and let out a satisfied “hmph” before walking away and minding his own business, poring over blueprints.

All Alhaitham can think is “shit—“, he never thought love at first sight made any rational sense but here he was. <3

[artemisia-black]

Ofc, one from my favourite work of yours: Regulus’s face turned a blotchy shade of red, and for a brief instant, he looked as though he might cry. Instead, his face hardened and seemed so vicious that Sirius almost regretted his jibe.

“Climb on your high Hippogriff all you want,” Regulus said, his voice deathly calm, “But I honour my family, and unlike you, I do not labour under false delusions.”

“Pray tell, what are these false delusions?” Sirius countered, straining his voice into a falsetto.

The seconds ticked by as Regulus stared at him, the unnatural stillness before a storm.

“You plaster your walls with pictures of Potter’s son as though he is yours. When he is a filthy half....”

The brothers tangled together in a blur of limbs, slamming into the wall before sliding to the ground

OMG thank you darling- I had really bad block with D+D and it's actually helping to remind myself of how much I love the story.

Hahah the Black brothers are such a goldmine of dysfunction. They clearly love each other, but there's so much resentment and jealousy.

When writing this scene, I imagined that when they were growing up Sirius had an edge over Regulus, and as the fight is ramping up, Sirius thinks "But unlike their teenage fights, Sirius no longer had a height advantage." This also shows how much time has passed since they had any meaningful interactions. Regulus is now a man and not Sirius's baby brother.

And at this point in time, they are both spoiling for a fight as "neither seemed perturbed by quite how quickly their conflict escalated."

They both give as good as they get verbally, hitting each others weaknesses with a surgical level of precision. Regulus saying:

"Do not speak about my parents like that.”

And then Sirius calling him a "good little spare."

I wrote the scene with the intention that they are both carrying a great deal of hurt towards each other, but are expressing it in this really toxic 'boys don't cry,' type of way (which IMO is in line with how Sirius talks about his family in canon).

Regulus is incredibly jealous of James, and feels personally betrayed by Sirius leaving.

Sirius feels hurt at his family's rejection and that Regulus participated in it.

The fight remains verbal (albeit incredibly vicious) until Regulus crosses the line by mentioning Harry.

In some ways, Regulus isn't wrong. While Sirius does love Harry with all his heart, he has attached to him so intensely because of how much he wants family. However, Regulus is mainly very jealous (and will never admit it). If he were less emotionally constipated, he would say something like, "Would you love my son as much?". Instead, he throws a slur, and it works to push Sirius's buttons and results in them having a physical fight (where Sirius is surprised at how matched they are- even though he does end up 'winning').

[oursmallworldadventures]

I’m in love with the idea of romance.

I’m in love with the idea of intimacy.

I’m in love with the idea of love.

I’m in love with the idea that two people can love each other so much that they literally change their lives just enough to include each other in every future plan, idea, and escapade for the rest of their lives.

I’m in love with the idea that you can meet a perfect stranger one day and with enough time, that person’s life could just become intertwined with yours as you fall deeper and deeper into love with this person, devoting your life not to just worshipping them like a love-struck Shakespearian teenage romance, but to actually building a life together with them, to make memories, share holidays, experience birthdays, celebrations, arguments, moments of mourning, days absolute boredom, through sickness, health, depression, delusion, absolute bliss, indescribable happiness, incomprehensible pleasure, insomnia, anxiety, hardships, lucky days, good evenings, groggy mornings, rainy days, sunny seasons, moonlit nights, sips of coffee, glasses of wine, cups of cocoa, bowls of popcorn, Tupperware dinners, budget cuts, and super sexy sweatpants and oversized t-shirt nights with movie marathons, Netflix binges or YouTube browsing.

I’m in love with the idea that it doesn’t matter if a couple is: super affectionate, more laid-back, super nerdy with video games D&D, cosplaying, larping, conventions, anime and collectibles, really into adventure, outdoors, hiking, camping or sports, really into celebrities with concerts, clubs, social media and movies, really into emo bands, raves, cars, fixing things, hard work or even being independent… there’s always someone out there for everyone. Even if you go to church on Sundays, only eat plant-based options, swear like a sailor, devote your life to animals or even travel the world in a beat-up camper, van, or motorhome… there is always somebody out there who matches your energy who would love to spend forever with you being a partner, an equal or being exactly what you want/need/are willing to accept into your life.

I am in love with these ideas of love and how love is and forever will be a constantly changing idea and construct or feeling that differs by each and every single person but for every single person who feels a certain way of love, there is at least ONE additional person (if not more) who matches them perfectly somewhere in the world.

I’m not in love with the fact that every day I am so lonely and it’s been here for so long that I now somewhat feels as if it’s just a part of me that I need to just accept. To have someone to love who loves you back. I crave this in my life yet I’ve spent such a long time dreaming about it I’m not sure if that is achievable for me or if it even exists anymore. I just sit here now and the only words I can even remotely understand anymore are “Mortality Salience”.

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

I want to know :3

:D

My favorite poem is Antigonish by Hughes Mearns! It’s featured in the Magnus Archives and it is lodged in my brain forever. I’ll probably make it its own dedicated post but it talks about a man who isn’t there, with the writer wishing that the man who isn’t there would go away. It’s a lovely little poem and especially as someone whose psychosis manifests primarily as delusions, I simply Vibe with a poem about something you know isn’t there but terrorizes you anyways.

And yeah! I have taste -> color synesthesia!! For the first 10 or so years of my life I thought you could teach colors to (color)blind people using foods. It’s kind of a weird thing to try and talk about because really the main way I know that my experience of the world is different from most people’s is that language just not built for the way I experience taste. I’ve thought of trying to do some sort of art based on my synesthesia but ive never been able to figure out exactly how since it’s really difficult for me to separate taste and the colors. I also experience ‘shrimp colors’ that don’t exist in a way humans can visually experience. Like orange and green at the same time, but not grey or speckled; the color simply does not exist.

There’s also almost no correlation between visualcolors and tastecolors. Por ejemplo, carrots (orange food) taste like a desaturated forest green. The only real trends are that the more artificial a food is, the more likely it is to match color wise; and that water will lighten and desaturate things.

Also it’s difficult for me to sort of quantify since I have no other frame of reference, but it does have a lot of effects on my life. Since color tends to overwhelm any ‘normal taste’, that’s what most of my favorite (and least favorite) foods are based on. I dislike carrots because it’s unpredictable whether they’re green or brown and I don’t like that neither of those are orange. My two favorite foods are grape koolaid (it’s so purple and I like purple; I also never water it down because then it’s Purple and I can also taste sour) and salt & vinegar chips (the vinegar covers any colors).

Water is always white or a very very light grey. This does affect what water I will drink because I avoid drinking water that’s sort of tinted warm colors. Doesn’t vibe right.

And the way I describe foods is almost always color based, since that’s the main way I experience it. This has deeply confused and mildly frustrated anyone trying to learn anything applicable to their own experience of food. I have no idea what other people taste, especially since colors tend to overshadow anything else. I’m pretty sure I experience spiciness and saltiness normally though.

And as mentioned earlier, it seriously impacts my sensory issues. Tastes are doubled (I guess?) and any after taste lingers for ages. If the water im drinking is significantly tinted it builds up in my mouth and is Bad (I had to pause writing this to refill my water bottle with my house filtered water instead of the water fountain from my school since that water is reddish and my water is only very faintly teal). Also since all taste is doubled-ish I am basically always aware of the fact that my mouth has a taste and a color. Which kinda sucks.

Also I think this is an adhd thing but I have a hard time describing colors unless I’m actively tasting something because I have a word based brain and the colors are something that completely upends the English language’s way of describing the senses. That’s sort of why I always describe it as being a one way link and say “taste to color synesthesia” rather than “taste color synesthesia”, because I don’t taste anything when I see colors, I just experience colors when I taste something. I think if it went both ways I would be a very different person and would likely have meltdowns much more often but that’s pure speculation.

I thiiiink that’s everything I can think of right now, but yeah! Synesthesia! I think I heard the word about four-ish years ago now and literally nothing has clicked for me faster than that did. It took me less time to start identifying with synesthesia than it did for me to identify with any lgbtq+ label. Every time I think about the fact that ‘tasting colors’ is something that people say to mean they’re loopy or high or something and not that they can literally taste colors I have to do a double take. It’s such a seemingly tiny little thing but it’s so fundamental to my experience of the world that I cannot even imagine anything different. What does koolaid taste like if not Color? I don’t know, because all I can taste is Color.

[slytherinshua]

HELLO!!!!

so ive been dead for a couple weeks (okay im sorry but school is kicking my ass)

BUTTTT IM BACK!!!!

And SO ARE YOU!!!

zanna pls the hao fic 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

idk whether to cry or kick my feet bc wTFFFF

how are you so g o o d (you obviously worked super hard and thats so cool of you)

ALSO

CINEMA PARADISE AND 19.99 CB!!!!!!

okay so i heard good so bad right? amazing song. 10/10 and thEn i watched the mcountdown kill the romeo performance and immediately went wHOA because why did that song hIT SO HARD LIKE?!?!??! Cinema paradise is such a ricky era (to me) bc his aura was off the roof he was so super noticable (even though he was worried bc of the hair dyeing :( he still stood out so much!) Also hao was so super good zb1 keeps getting better!!

OKAY NOW LISTEN

IM NOT THE BIGGEST ONEDOOR AROUND HERE OKAY BUT IVE LISTENED TO THEIR ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY AND WATCHED ALL THEIR PERSONAL CONTENT AND CAN I JUST SAY DANGEROUS AND NICE GUY ARE SO GOOD LIKE BND NEVER MISSES WHAT THE HECK

Taesans line in dangerous had me actually pulling out my earphones bc wtf why was that so good i was h o o k e d the secomd that song started and then nice guy was just also really good like?!?!?!? H O W do you slay that hard like whoa

ANYWAY HI ZANNA I MISSED YOUUUUUU

im glad you're out of your mini slump!!! (i have so many ideas and i want to write but i have no t i m e!!! i dont like school 😐)

-🌱 (bc you said youd miss this <3)

im sorry i rambled on a bit but yeah !!!

HI HAFS OMG!!!! omg it has been a while but dw i understand :((( school is out to get us all istg im so tired and its only the beginning of the year... AND LIKE I THOUGHT I WAS GOING CRAZY W THAT WRITERS BLOCK HOLY SHIT LIKE I COULD NOT FUNCTION WITHOUT MY DELUSIONS BEING MY ESCAPE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

BUT AAAA IM GLAD U LIKED IT <333333 thank you ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ ugh i remember like before i even properly stanned zb1 i was thinking about which members would fit studio ghibli boys and let me see if i can remember all the pairings.... honestly i think these ranged from most accurate (first 4-5) to zanna is running out of ghibli boys to assign

zhang hao as seiji

i think i had taerae as tombo back then but now i feel like it fits gyuvin more :((

NOW RICKY AS HOWL CAUSE WHO ELSE WOULD HE BE

and yujin as sho!!! cause look theyre literally the same skdfjksd could 100% see yujin in an arrietty storyline to me hes just the embodiment of teen youth like coming of age stories rly fit him so well

gunwook as pazu bcuz i have to satisfy my childhood crush and my current crush (also they look the same fight me)

honestly jiwoong as jiro???

taerae as asbel now (literally i don't remember anything about asbel but they look kinda similar so we're going w it)

hanbin as ashitaka bcuz i just think theyre both hot like that 🤕🤕🤕

which leaves matthew as sosuke cause i haven't watched the boy and the heron yet so idk whether that might fit better but yeah... BUT TELL ME WHY THEY KINDA HAVE SIMILAR VIBES ANYWAY SO??

now can we also appreciate how i tried to match the pics as close as i could thank you thank you anyway enough abt zb1 and ghibli boys

YES CINEMA PARADISE WAS SO GOOD!!! good so bad literally their best title track to date AND SAME W BND. i think nice guy is their best to date and ive seen a lot of ppl who like dangerous more than nice guy which is valid i also love dangerous BUT IMO NICE GUY IS PERFECT AND BETTER THAN DANGEROUS???? 👹👹👹

ricky will always stand out no matter what !!!!! even tho his hair was plain it still drew attention to him like the contrast of black hair to his skin is crazy and he looks like a whole prince (when does he ever not) BUT OMG HAO IN THE MV WRECKED ME SOOOO HARD like i think good so bad mv is the reason why hao is #2 in zb1 ranking for me rn skdfjskdfs ALSO CAN WE TALK ABT PURPLE GUNWOOK CAUSE NO IM STILL NOT OVER PURPLE GUNWOOK even tho hes had it for a while now i still look at it and then die skdfjksdhfks

IF THERES ONE THING BONEDO WILL DO ITS RELEASE BANGERS EVERY TIME!!! i swear they always stay true to their sound and concept and i LOVE that about them. every song feels SO boynextdoor but at the same time they try different sounds and tell different stories with each song. i also just adore their storytelling in their mvs and songs its so good every time!!!! and im excited to see what they release next bcuz it seems theyre doing a youth concept now that theyre done their falling in love trilogy

awwww nooo i hope u find time soon 👹 it can be so hard to find time to write sometimes istg.... but you'll manage i believe in u !!! KSDJFKSD I DID MISS IT OMG

[whimsicalpoet44]

How can we predict when we’ll get married or meet our future husband through astrology?

So, I saw this and immediately knew I had to reply, because this is something I've been looking at HEAVILY.

**Note, I don't believe in assigning planets a gender (i.e. Jupiter/Sun = husband, Venus = wife). I assign them energies, bc we carry both masculine and feminine energies. But use that as you wish. I only say that because I carry a much more masculine energy but appear outwardly feminine. My first marriage partner was the opposite. So use your discernment.

There's no clear and cut way to know for certain and I think this is why I love astrology in a way. Because our placements and transits can play out in a multitude of ways. It's what makes it an art!

But there are some indicators that can hint that marriage may be a theme for your life at a particular time.

**Reminder that I practice tropical astrology. Vedic has a lot more information about this subject and tends to be more accurate (imo) but I'm new to it. Seek out Vedic astrologers to get a better idea about how this can play out in Vedic astrology. That doesn't mean it's wrong in tropical, it's just a lot more vague.

💕 7th House or 5th house profection years can highlight marriage. The 7th house is your house of partnerships/marriage. 5th house is the house of romantic relationships. (Though, I've seen the 5th house linked to the beginning of a relationship or children. However, we have no idea how it could play out individually)

💕 Check transits in your chart from your Jupiter or Sun to your 7th House to see if any of the dates match. This can show you if you potentially met them on a particular day. (astro seek has a good calculator)

💕 Look to your Juno placement. Your Juno placement can predict how you'll meet them. Some argue that it's how you'll meet your soul mate. Others say it's how you'll meet your husband. Could be both. However, I'm more in the realm of it being soul mate.

Side story: When I discovered who my twin flame was, I checked our charts. We're both Cap Venuses. Our Junos were also in Cap. My Juno was in Cap in the 1st house. That indicates love at first sight and it was just like that. We locked eyes and I knew in that moment this person was going to mean something to me. I felt like I 'd known him in a thousands lives. Didn't realize what everything meant until years later. No I'm not married to him (or have ever been married to him) or talk to him, but there's a deeper connection there. There's a lot of complex nuances to this subject (bc twin flames don't always end up together), but I wanted to use it as an example to explain how it can show how you meet.

💕 If your Saturn is in the 7th House, it can allude to the fact that you'll meet them or get married post Saturn Return.

💕 Figure out what planet rules your 7th house. That planet will likely show a positive aspect on the day of the marriage. (i.e. my 7th house is Cancer. Cancer is ruled by the moon. My moon should have positive aspects the day I get married. When I married my first partner, The moon was sextile Neptune. Which honestly makes sense. Delusion that it would be a perfect marriage).

I can share more as I find it out, but this is what I've discovered thus far. I hope this helps!

[anotherghoul666]

Secret Garden

This is my entry for @ghostbcfandomevents 2022 Ghost Gift Exchange! I was matched with @bunnielav and their request was old Sister Imperator / Papa Nihil being sweet together and doing old people in love shit! I saw this as a great opportunity to draw attention to old age and all the great things that can still happen at that age, because old bodies are so often overlooked and ignored in fandoms and they deserve better. This was a great opportunity to write something that’s very much outside of my usual wheelhouse. I thank everyone involved in this secret santa / gift exchange! ❤️

Pairing: Sister Imperator/Papa Nihil

Rating: Teen and up audiences I suppose because of the D/s undertones and hints at intimate activities

Tags / contains: old people in love; straight presenting queer ship; fluff to the extent that Sister can be fluffy hahaha; “it’s complicated” relationship; “unfortunately I love him” vibes from Sister; Nihil is down bad for Sister’s delusion of grandeur; old bodies appreciation; old bodies in a positive light; blind / semi-blind character; disability and support representation; domesticity; me taking this as an opportunity to study and develop Imperator’s character for future fics; power exchange dynamics; love languages; the language of flowers; a car trip; a beach date; old people’s libido doesn’t magically disappear with age.

Summary: A collection of snapshots of Sister Imperator and Papa Nihil’s relationship today. Sister’s daily life and responsibilities at the abbey and how Nihil never fails to brighten it up. An invitation on a date at the beach and the trip that follows. An evening at the beach house, to partake in sin for old time’s sake.

Merry christmas / happy holidays bunnielav, I hope you’ll find something you like in this gift of mine, enjoy and best wishes! :D

[kurorinde]

Robin's Midnight Records | No. 1 | friends with [deep dark secrets]

My dear friend who I miss and love so much,

How are you? I'm so sorry that I haven't written to you since.... May? Last year? A lot of life has happened since then, and it looks like I was already "going through it" aaaaaaa

Who am I if not going through it? Heh.

I guess I'll get to the point: I broke my heart twice in the span of a week and a half. First to kill my delusions, second to kill my denial.

Okay, so you stayed to read under the cut. As a reward, here's my deep dark secrets :D

In 2023, I had a purely delusional proximity crush on Joker. He would lowkey be in my space, like, all the time! I was also looking for a distraction from my close friendships that felt like they were failing. I promised myself that I would leave him in 2023, but that was a lie. I even had my first intervention after the girlies found out he was the latest in a timeline of bad crushes. And I only kept a timeline because I was trying to organize all these songs I'd written into chronological order. (But honestly, I didn't need to do that. There's no justification lol.)

Joker's my friend now and I don't get all dumb and weird around him anymore. I think. I'm just dumb and weird by myself lol. But if I'm being completely honest, the beginning of the end of the delusion was in May... when my california grandma passed. I used to feel so ashamed that it took an actual crisis for me to realize that he wasn't going to be the one to help me through a crisis.

I guess I'll talk about the Ace of it all now.

...

I mean, there's nothing really to say. He's been so far back in the plot, but I guess he's only relevant because ?????? idk his sister is my bestie tho. Love her. Oh, and my Grandma randomly brought him up recently. She was talking to my Sister about her new bf (yeah, that happened) and this was our convo:

Gma: Don't worry you'll find your second Prince Charming. Me: ???? Who was the first?????? Gma: The tall one but he's not here anymore.

And it was so weird because why, in the year 2024, is Ace being referenced by my Grandma???

Not even King?? He was more recent. And literally is the one that she would've liked the most. Maybe.

Okay, if I'm going to talk about King, let me start by talking about... J.

The realization that he could be reading this is hitting me, but it's honesty hour so whatever. (Hi J! <3)

Also! For those who have been following these life updates, the "J" in moonrise chronicles 9 is now King. Just how the cards fell :)

So........ J. My dude. My bestie. How do I put this?

Yanno Promise by Laufey? The song I cried to when we heard it live? Yeah ummm... you're the boy standing out on Melrose Avenue.

This part is kinda confusing to put into words so here's a round of 2 truths, 1 partial lie:

"ok fine i borrowed ur bed" and "only for u babe": I was gathering dirt outside the arena and it was getting dark. Your base was the closest. And i was just matching your energy because you're literally the only one that gives me that attitude (endearingly).

"I never wanted that from you.": You said you weren't looking for a relationship, to which I replied with that phrase specifically. All I ever wanted was your friendship. And I was so sad after that whole conversation because I thought I lost it. i still think I lost it, and part of me thinks that this is going to make it worse. It's up to you. If being honest still means being messy, then I guess I'll have to live with that.

Which btw, I wasn't referring to myself when I asked you about friends being messy. I didn't want to drop names or specifics because those weren't important and I still wanted to protect our friends. I forgot to protect myself.

"thanks! bc same": You asked me if I had feelings and I couldn't give you a clear answer because I didn't know. I kept telling myself that, no, I didn't actually have feelings because I was just using you in place of King. And I hated myself for trying to make you a placeholder when I knew that you were so much more than that.

Sure, you two had similarities, but talking about them made me realize that literally everybody had those similarities. The difference was that you were my friend. He only ever talked to me when he needed me for something. You just talk to me. You have jokes and you take jokes. You never talk to me because you need me to do something or to be something.

Even though he was my friend the last time we saw each other, I knew that I had to let go of my idea of him. I used to feel so incapable of giving love and undeserving of receiving it. I felt like the most difficult person in the world to love, like it was impossible.

I'm still in the process of letting go (this is part of it), but I at least don't believe those things about myself as much as I used to.

So what's the true answer?

Yes, I did have the tiniest bit of feelings for you. However, I think they were misplaced and muddied by my internal demons. Do I have feelings now? No. I've been keeping you at a distance because I don't want you to be uncomfortable or confused thinking that I'm feeling something I'm not. I'll admit, I do miss our own brand of conversation. But if it's something I need to let go of too, I'll do it. These are the consequences of my indecision and joking and whatever else I'm trying to change about myself. For my own health but also so you, my friend(s) don't have someone so broken in your life.

I think that's everything. All cards on the table. It's also currently 2:08 AM.

Thank you for reading. And thank you for existing.

Take care, Robin

Currently listening to: friends with detriments (ch 3: you never needed me/all i ever wanted, the sunday interlude, ch 4: platonic blanket sharing)

< PREV | NEXT >

[truelove-cafe]

waves !!!

before death, moment of death, algor mortis, putrefaction, black putrefaction, butyric fermentation :D

hi nova!! this got so long omg

"before death : what is your ideal darling/yan? what traits do you find yourself drawn to?"

hmm.. its honestly hard to say, because i think that while i do look for specific traits in a darling / yan, i put that aside when i actually do find one. i have a habit of idealizing my darling, so whatever traits they currently possess are often already perfect, therefore ill adapt

that being said, i prefer mutual obsession. someone who will put their claim on me just as i put mine on them, matching my own possessiveness. i can be their guard dog, or they can be mine. whether theyd like to be soft or rough, i can fall into the other role just as easily. i enjoy rough traits (minor cruelty, demanding behavior, etc) but i feel that softness is something i would absolutely melt for as well (sweet, convincing words, being spoiled / coddled, gentle possession where it's less action and more telling me that i am theirs and theirs alone). i would love to go out to provide for my darling then come home to their warm and maybe a little bit unmoving embrace

"moment of death : to what lengths would you go for your beloved? is there anything you wouldn’t do? any dealbreakers?"

i dont think there is much i wouldnt do. in the past ive cut people out, run away from home, hurt myself, and more for ex beloveds. i think that the one of the only limits is of course asking me to hurt any of my pets ): i would prefer for my darling to enjoy my pets and whatnot.. but. id do near anything, even if it were somewhat begrudgingly. i also wouldnt hurt my family at all, either. i might distance from them if it were good for me, but that's about all. i am very willing to listen, however — i like receiving "orders" of a sort. my darling making decisions for me

"putrefaction : do you believe in soulmates? what about reincarnation? if so, do you believe your beloved has always been your beloved?"

i do believe in soulmates, to a degree! reincarnation, im less sure about. but i am open to the idea, and in some situations i do feel like we belonged together in another life. we were drawn together for some reason, though whether it was fate or a past life or by our own hand is honestly depending on my thoughts for the day, which can also be influenced by my delusions. in a clear mindset, i think that we have a connection, and have had that connection since even before we noticed each other across our separate lives

"butyric fermentation : does your obsession ever mellow out? if so, why?"

i think that in one or two cases, it has. in both cases, its because i wasnt treated very well. i dont blame either of these people at all /gen,, they both were in rough spots and i think that it made it harder for them to keep up with my needs. i wasnt getting as much time with them, i was being pushed away, we werent communicating, and i split on them, devalued them too often, cried too much over them, that my interest and obsession got blocked off (not entirely gotten rid of). HOWEVER while it mellows out some, this rarely ever happens, and it takes a lot before it does. in some situations even, if im treated with cruelty, my obsession comes back tenfold fue to the inability to let my darling go. and i think that sometimes i need something new, instead of routine every single day; it helps me spark that interest, that adoration, again

and the others i already answered!

[starlostseungmin]

HI DARLING OH MYB GOD YOU POSTED IT ALREADY OH MY GOD OMOGOGM im the anon who requested skz x 1d songs im so sorry i locked in the whole day bc i have anatomy finals tomorrow for uni xD

listening to 1d songs as i read it (i miss my 1d boys <//3) fr i was a directioner before i was a stay and this makes me so happy

i agree so HARRRDDDDD perfect and little things are both made FOR chan and BY chan omg you’re so right the way he can be so insecure about himself i just wanna shower him with compliments and remind him that hes beautiful every hour every minute every second of the day </3 and the way you made hyunjin’s last first kiss was PERFECT🥹 i love this song so much (take me home 1d’s best album, i stand by it) han and felix would be the type to be in a fun and adventurous couple doing just about anything and everything and just vibing midnight memories & why dont we go there describes them so perfectly ❤️‍🩹now onto my baby my innie <//////3 both summer love and fool’s gold are so angsty but when u put it this way it is beautiful 💔 i want to for real go on dates with jeongin where we go on picnics and just vibe, or go restaurant hopping and rate their burgers and just be silly together and now i’m realizing he is also so change my mind coded AAAAHHHHH

this is so very delusion inducing and i’m gonna be brainrotting this for WEEKS while listening to 1d songs with a smile on my face again !!! the way you wrote for each member and matched them with one direction songs I AGREE SO HARD i cried you actually posted this bc i’ve been looking through ao3 wattpad and all of tumblr and ONLY YOU did it im so happy this is my 1dxskz crumbs fr THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥹 i’ve been following you since 2022 and have my notifs on HAHAH :D i love ur works and i just wanna know what your favorite one direction song(s) is/are 💗

sorry for yapping i just appreciate this so much xD

HI HI HI OMG GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR FINALS TOMORROW!! YOU'LL DO GREAT 💖

i was actually waiting for your response in regards with the headcanon AAAAND i'm so happy that you loved it!! i was a directioner way back in 2012-2015 tho and i still listen to their songs until now (fr fr i miss them too and has been waiting for a freaking reunion 😭)

it took me hours to find a song that would suit each member, skimmed and scanned every possible songs with their lyrics HSKSKSK i was supposed to write What A Feeling for seungmin, No Control for lee know and Happily for jeongin but yeah 🥹 there are a lot of 1D songs that could describe the members HSKSKSKSKS i wish i could write them all down HAHA hyunjin could be Long Way Down too yk? the one that really got me is Last First Kiss for him and Temporary Fix for changbin, chan is obviously Perfect of course and Lixie has a lot of potential songs, Han too 🫶🏻✨

i appreciate you having to ask me about it, and i apologize it took a while to have it posted here 😭 i wanted to write more of this but i have another series to finish HSJSKSKS too many wips in my google docs too AAAAA and thank you so much for being with me since 2022, for having my notifs on and for loving my works 🥺 i wasn't expecting it, you’re so precious honestly!! ☹️💖

as for my favorite songs, THERE'S A LOT OF THEM LIKE; Love You Goodbye, Infinity, Ready to Run, Why Don’t We Go There, Where Do Broken Hearts Go, More Than This, Half A Heart, I Wish, Moments, They Don’t Know About Us, Olivia, Spaces, Up All Night, Perfect, Best Song Ever and the list goes on 😭😭😭 ooooh and i loved harry and niall btw 😔 how about you? mehehehe

[ijustthinkevilunoisneat]

My vision has them winning the six man titles off the hungbucks in the relatively near future.

I've tried to look at it this way. Now they're heels doing heel work getting their comeuppance. A loss like that goes down a little smoother than the constant underdog team trying to get taken seriously and still losing every single fight.

I really would love to see those guys running the show over at ROH for a bit, and a six man tag championship run would set that off quite nicely.

I'll always want more for them, though. AEW is where they should be tearing things up. It was still a very good match, and I look forward to any gifs you decide to make :D

My ideal scenario is for that to happen when they are in Uno Country aka Quebec.

I love their characters right now but nobody will take them seriously if they are continuously losing their big matches which is why I'm like start with matches against local enhancement talent, do what they did against Dalton and The Boys, how aggressive they were in that match + their post match attack was such perfection for establishing themselves again.

Imagine them calling themselves the good guys then picking apart young local talent and attacking them after the bell - it would make them look like an even bigger threat + establish what they are trying to put over, the delusion that they are still the good guys despite doing things that say the opposite.

If they can keep having matches that show their dominance, come December when they go back to Canada, this time in Uno's home province, they would be able to win a huge match and it wouldn't feel out of place because you've established how much of a threat they are.

Build up their level of how much of a threat they are with matches against enhancement talent then against more established wrestlers in the company and keep building upon that and then come December, we have a genuine threat in Dark Order with Uno at home and you can have them win.

I love their work in ROH but my issue is that nobody sees it so Rampage could be the place they start then you can have them move to Collision against established guys, getting wins on both shows. I'd continue to show promos on Collision tho.