#Luka Hein

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

[I was] a mentally ill teenager who had been groomed and preyed upon and sexually exploited online to the point of authorities getting involved.

I spiralled into a hatred of myself and my body, and was told that it was just because I was a boy born in the wrong body, and that this would fix me.

I was affirmed down a path where I wasn't given any other choice as to what would help me. The very first medical intervention I ever had was a double mastectomy at 16. And then a few months later, I was put on testosterone.

I'm now 21, and I will live with the impacts of that so-called care for the rest of my life. In the past 4 or 5 months, I have watched as my body has fallen apart in front of me. My joints constantly hurting, my vocal chords aching, watching as parts of me atrophy away before my very eyes.

And yet, at 16, they looked me in the eyes and they told me this was care. They told me it would save me.

Despite the fact I was never suicidal, my parents were baited with the idea of "would you rather have a dead daughter or a living son?" Bullied into going along with it, their biggest crime being trusting those who they thought took an oath to "do no harm."

It's not about "hate," detransitioning, it never has been. It's about keeping kids whole. I've worked with children, I've seen them explore the world, and I've seen that magic that they have. And doing something like transitioning them takes that away.

How can you look me in the eyes and tell me that a child can consent to being chained to an experimental medical industry before they're even old enough to drive, or understand the impacts of what that means in the first place?

Kids deserve to be kids. They deserve to get to explore the world as a safe and loving place.

==

It's disturbing that the position "don't mutilate kids" requires bravery.

Today is a great day to think of what you'll say when you're asked why you went along with it.

[eternal-echoes]

According to the suit, Hein began experiencing mental health problems in 2015 when the then 13-year-old’s parents were getting a divorce and she was forced to split her time between two households. She began to struggle in school and suffered from anxiety and panic attacks, the suit claims. Hein soon lost her appetite, started self-harming, and talked about committing suicide. ... Because of what she read online, the suit claims, Hein thought that having her breasts removed might help her mental state and met with the doctors at the clinic — who, the suit says, made a “snap” diagnosis of gender identity disorder after just 55 minutes into her initial session in July 2017. This “fails to meet the standard of care for the proper evaluation of gender identity disorder,” the suit argues, saying the quickness of the diagnosis created a “feedback system that manipulates patients like Luka to [undergo] deeper and more damaging levels of transgender medical intervention.” ... It also argues that the doctors should have noticed there were several red flags about Hein’s gender dysphoria claims, including her past mental health hospitalizations, her online encounter with an older man, and the family pressures she was facing. “This litany of psycho-social factors should have caused a reasonably prudent plastic surgeon to not perform a double mastectomy on such a troubled teenage patient,” the suit argues. Instead, it says, Dr. Johnson told Hein’s parents she would likely commit suicide if she did not have the procedure — even though she had not had suicidal ideation in nearly a year before the surgery. “Doctors should not behave to vulnerable children or families in this manner, period,” attorney Harmeet Dhillon, from the Center for American Liberty, told the Daily Mail.

Source

[kuolevi]

you are not the flower of hell

[valkyrievanessa]

descobrindo hoje que Magnet (a musica gay da hatsune Miku com a Megurine Luka) não só acordou algo em mim quando ouvi pela primeira vez e percebi o que era o tema da musica, mas de muita gente também... só caiu a ficha agora quando eu fui ver o video da musica e li os comentarios.

Eu fiquei completamente obcecada com a musica na época, com a hatsune miku e com a megurine luka e eu shippava as duas demais (quase não achei fanfic boa das duas juntas na época, ao menos nenhuma que durava), essa musica foi uma obsessão minha por sei lá quanto tempo, eu já lia mangá Yuri, só que essa musica certamente girou algumas chaves em meu cerebro... passei um bom tempo querendo ser igual a megurine luka por causa dessa musica

[anchesetuttinoino]

La storia dell’americana 22enne Luka Hein spiega perfettamente il pericolo che corrono i più giovani a causa del lavaggio del cervello perpetrato dall’ideologia gender.

[being-kindrad]

Q&A Panel with seven detransitioners, 2023, transcribed

The following is a transcript of the first ever Q&A panel discussion with seven detransitioners filmed on Detrans Awareness Day 2023. Seven detransitioners speak publicly and answer questions from the audience at a film screening of the documentary No Way Back: The Realities of Gender Affirming Care.

The panel discusses the medical ethics of the gender affirmation model of care for gender dysphoria, and the untold harm personally endured by detransitioners Chloe Cole, Laura Becker, Luka Hein, Estella Suarez-Hamilton, Brian Wagner, Rachel, and Shape Shifter.

The panel answers questions from concerned parents about the relationship between gender distress, social contagion, trauma, and familial relationships, and panelists give advice about maintaining and repairing relationships with children and loved ones who are experiencing identity issues.

View the panel recording here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyJGijjI2JU 

Transcript after the break.

Panel moderator: How do you guys feel? Had you not seen [the documentary] before? Did it bring up any feelings for you guys?

Estella (female detransitioner): It brought up a lot of feelings for me. I medically detransitioned this past year and I was still maintaining my social transition, clinging on to that, and kind of hearing about the process of other detransitioners and even speaking to some people who are here today, learning how much commonalities we have with this journey. It makes you realize that “oh, well, maybe this is rare, but maybe this is not so rare as they're saying.” Especially when it comes to medical consequences. I can speak for myself with some of the effects that testosterone has had on my body—it's menopause, it's going through menopause at nineteen. And when your body's not ready for that. And there was like a list of that, the incontinence, not being able to hold your bladder, not being able to sleep because of heat flashes that are painful. It's ridiculous, thinking that a teenager should go through that, when they're just at the cusp of adulthood, so it brought up a lot of emotion realizing that I wasn't alone in a lot of that. I know that I had a conversation with Chloe earlier this year about heat flashes and that was the first time that I had spoken to anybody about the itchiness and the uncomfortableness at night and realizing that wasn't just me, you know, and that's what you hear a lot, a lot of people being like “oh, well it's just you, I guess it just didn't work out for you.” It's like, it's not just me, you know, this is something that could happen and it's exhausting. So, yeah.

Panel moderator: Can we just go down the line really quick and introduce, you guys can introduce yourself, so we know who you are and then we'll open it up for questions.

Shape (male detransitioner): Hi, I'm Shape. I'm a male detransitioner, gender non-conforming. You guys may know me from YouTube or Twitter, so this was pretty powerful, also triggering, but powerful.

Rachel (female detransitioner): I'm Rachel. I transitioned when I was like 25, lived as a “man” for like seven years, realized “oh I don't need to do this and I'm running away from other things,” so I went back to living as a woman, more or less, a year ago, and just kind of opened my eyes to kind of like the whole gaslighting of this “trans marketing” like it's you know they—well not to get too far into it, but the whole thing is weaponizing empathy to make people believe that “oh you have to affirm these kids that's the nice thing to do,” but long term, well, I think you guys know.

Brian (male detransitioner): Good afternoon, my name is Brian Wagner. In my early 20s, I had substance use disorders and mental health issues. I transitioned from male to female, I lived my life as a transgender woman for close to 10 years, I detransitioned upon sobering up and getting to see a psychologist that was not an activist. The most powerful part of this documentary for me personally was when it talked about Jung's “Shadow Self,” because I think for a lot of society and especially the trans rights movement, detransition is a reality that they're not ready to see or face or accept quite yet, so thank you.

Estella (female detransitioner): My name is Estella Suarez Hamilton. I gave an introduction already so…

Luka (female detransitioner): My name is Luka Hein and I transitioned as a minor at 16 and de-transitioned around six months ago when I was 20.

Laura (female detransitioner): Hey everyone. My name is Laura Becker. I was in the documentary. My hair was looking a little messed up at the time, I had dyed it too many home dyes, pink—thank you—for a little while it was—so yeah, some of you may know me from Twitter, Funk God artist, and I designed some of the Detrans Awareness hats and shirts that some people might be wearing so that's what you may know me from.

Chloe (female detransitioner): I'm Chloe Cole and I'm somebody who also transitioned as a minor between the ages of 12 to 16. And I've been speaking out about my experience for not much longer than a year now, since I was 17.

Shape: I guess I should tell a little more about my story since everybody has. I transitioned in my early 20s as well, the first time I ever got any kind of mental health help was when I went to Fenway House in Boston and they completely ignored my internalized homophobia, other comorbidities, and affirmed me, like there was no pushback. I got on estrogen pretty easily, but my mental health declined after that, but I attributed it to being in a “wrong body,” so unfortunately I got cleared for the sex assignment surgery. That deteriorated my mental health even further. I have complications after multiple revisions. I have urinary tract infections every month, that's why I was going to the bathroom like a million times. I am unable to have sex, I have osteoporosis, I haven't been able to get any help really from endocrinologists or even surgeons to reverse this. This is all one giant experiment I fell into when I was very vulnerable and not in a good emotional place. I definitely got sold lies and “hardware fixes” for my “software issues” that actually never went away. And my biggest push for transition was internalized homophobia, I just didn't want to be gay, because I was brainwashed from very young age that gay is bad and sinful, so the minute I realized I could escape my homosexuality, I latched onto the idea that I'm a woman, but I realized that none of those transitions solved any of my mental issues, in fact it made it worse, thank you

Panel moderator: Okay, does anybody have a question?

Audience member: Hi. Thank you all for being here, you're all very brave, and I probably follow mostly on Twitter or something. I think like a lot of parents whose kid is in this ideology, fortunately, my daughter so far has not said she wants to medicalize, but I can see just socially things sort of upping, which scares the hell out of me, because she'll be 18 next year, so I'm wondering if you guys had seen this documentary when you were 17 would it influence you [several panelists shake their head no] or is there anything that you would say to somebody at 17 who's in the grip that you like would help them like, you know, for body acceptance or whatever it would be, I would love to hear.

Estella: Yes, if I saw this documentary it would have made a difference. There are some people that are stubborn and very hard-headed and I was one of them, especially when you're 19, you think you know everything. If somebody says “oh you're gonna get menopause,” “oh I don't care,” you know, because you don't know what that means. The more information people get I think from first-hand, it makes a difference. I remember—and I said this prior to when we sat down—I didn't get top surgery. I was on testosterone for over seven years, and I was socially trans before that, and then a little bit after that, but I never went for top surgery. Specifically I can remember I watched a testimony of somebody who was transgender, they were a transman, so they were a female, and explaining that they had done all this surgery, and all this hormones, and everything, and it still—they were feeling like it wasn't resolving anything. And I remember he was this big buff bodybuilding guy and I was thinking “oh he's so beautiful I want to be like that” and he was like “don't do it, it will not fix your dysphoria” and so that gave me enough to just hold back, hold back. When I came to Los Angeles, there was no gatekeeping. I went to a very popular trans clinic down the street from here, and I was new in town. It was my first time going and talking to them, and they had an interview with me and like a car dealership, you get a packet of papers and you're good to go, like they have everything. But because I had seen the testimony, I thought “well let me just give myself some more time to think,” and the more you read about long-term and the more you talk about these surgeries and how they affect you in the end, the more you realize “well this is maybe not the most creative solution and this is probably not the most healthy solution,” so that's—I think it would make a difference, I think that absolutely this this film is a snapshot into history, and a good opportunity for people to get a different perspective. Especially because it's going from a leftist view too, so it's very nice to be able to digest that.

Brian: When I first transitioned, or started to, I specifically remember I saw the testimony of a man named Walter Heyer, he's an elderly man who I believe did in fact have the vaginoplasty and it didn't stop me. Thankfully, I never had that done, but I was well aware of it. But I was in a very delusional and ideological mindset, so I really don't think seeing this would have stopped me, I really don't. But I would have just told my former self to be careful what you wish for and don't rush into anything, because changing your gender it's not like you know, shaving your head, or you know, something like that, it's very difficult to undo and the further you go, the harder and harder…

Rachel: One thing for me, in female social circles, I definitely felt like I got “cool points” for it and I was already in my 20s, and it's got to be ten times that when you're in high school, so I feel like almost anything you would say would just fuel it even more, because it's like “oh this is something you're not allowed to do,” and it's kind of risky, so that's more exciting. And I don't know if this would help, but one of the biggest reasons I detransitioned was because I realized I felt affirmed in my identity as a “man” when I was with my female friend group, but then as you get more and more masculine, they don't see you as a woman anymore, and your brain does literally change, like there is something different with the hormones, so any kind of feelings of belonging she gets like within her current social circle, just basically imagine losing all those female friend groups, because once you look like a man, it doesn't really work the same. So like I don't know, I'm not really even sure how to explain that to a kid, but like “would you do this if you were completely alone by yourself without the affirmation of all your friends?” And she'd probably say “yeah sure I would,” but people tend to socialize in gendered groups, so just imagine if she can't socialize with her current friends, because of the way that they see her as, like, a man, later on. I don’t know how better to describe that.

Chloe: So, I'm 18 now, I'm a legal adult and as many of you know, I travel around the country talking about this subject. And there's still a lot of things that I can't do legally, like I still can't buy marijuana, or nicotine products, or alcohol. I can't rent a car. I can't even rent a hotel room. Because I'm under the age of 21. And yet, at 13, I was allowed to make the decision to change my sex. But I really don't think that 18 is just some magical age where all of a sudden you're capable of, maybe legally doing something, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you really fully understand what you're doing. I mean, the estimate right now is that most people's brain development finishes at around the age of 25, and it's probably much later for a lot of other people. But brain development aside, there's still a lot of things that people at the age of 18, at the age of 25, and even beyond, don't know about the world. When you're young, you don't really have a lot of knowledge or experience having to do with the world, and I was lucky to find out that I wanted to have kids at the age of 16, and to stop transitioning then, but not a lot of women figure that out until much later now.

Luka: I think particularly when you have a child going into this and you're worried about them heading down the path of medicalization, every situation is different, but presenting a different perspective, I feel like, couldn't hurt. They may not listen, because young people tend to be rather stubborn, but it couldn't hurt. And you know your kid doesn't stop being your child when they reach 18. You still need to be there, and let your concerns be known, with care, and compassion, and a genuine concern for their health and well-being. Keeping that line of communication open, to be that safe adult for your child, even when your child is an adult, is something that young adults still need, everyone needs, to a certain extent. And there's gonna be young people who maybe didn't transition and they reach 18, and rush into stuff, but I don't think it's acceptable to give up on them just because they maybe won't listen or they're hard-headed. If anything, that's when you need to be more compassionate and really keep that line of communication open, because they deserve for you to keep trying.

Laura: Yes, so I think that this documentary definitely would have impacted my perceptions, because although I had a lot of magical thinking, was naive, very stubborn, I was also very overwhelmed and we all started to know the kind of common wisdom “kids need structure.” Everyone needs structure, we need to order chaos, because things are very overwhelming. And I was overwhelmed, that's a lot of what passive suicidal ideation is—just being overwhelmed and your brain goes to this solution, this fantasy solution of escape, so it can deal with it at that moment, and transition is very similar, the transition fantasy. So I think I really was hungering to be helped. I was very alone, from peers and family, and I really wanted a safe adult to really sit down with me and listen to everything, and tell me that they knew how to help. Not in a pushy way, or in a controlling way, but in a way that allowed me to feel like myself, and I just never really got that, because my parents, by the point when I was 19, when I transitioned, they were exhausted, and they were not very equipped to deal with it, and there was some abuse as well, to me, psychologically. So they just kind of did emotionally sort of “give up,” and because I was so stubborn, they said “okay.” And the thing is you know, you just kind of get used to people not seemingly really understanding you, you know. Teachers didn't understand, therapists just—low quality, low, shallow, shallow understanding and so they'll say “yeah you're valid” or like “sure you can, are you sure you want to do it? Yeah okay, you know, maybe it'll help, because you're already so f-cked up, you're already so mentally ill anyway,” so they were very desperate too, my parents. But I was suicidal and had unprocessed trauma—PTSD—so, definitely keeping that connection, I know it's very difficult, but still listening and still being there, and not giving up is this inevitable outcome that “this person is just going to be messed up and they're disabled and they're mentally ill and that's their identity” and trying not to see your child as broken, because I saw myself as a broken human being that didn't deserve love or was capable of achieving happiness, so of course you're going to go to desperate measures, like surgical interventions. So I would say this documentary would have really been a relief to me, because it just provided so many calming, intelligent, rational adults that are experts in the field, they know what they're talking about. It just would have relieved my existential anxiety and overwhelm to know that there is an alternative because I thought that there wasn't. I thought it was either “I'm inevitably going to kill myself and I don't want to live anymore as myself,” or “if I transition maybe that'll help I'm doubtful about it, pretty hopeless, maybe it'll help.” I didn't realize until several years too late, I mean too late in a short-term sense, for the surgery and hormones, that there were alternative pathways, and so I have been able to cure my gender dysphoria and treat my suicidal ideation and PTSD, still working on that one, that one takes some time, but yeah, thank you.

Shape: Yeah, this definitely would have helped me. A lot of things did resonate with me, specifically how autistic people think “black and white.” I didn't feel like I could have existed on a spectrum of a gender while being a biological male. Also the way that's like, I really got obsessed with transition when I found out that it was a “possibility,” so it kind of clouded my entire judgment. Also it's the first time I've heard how dysphoria shifts, so you fix kind of like one part of your body and then you get obsessed over another part, and that actually never went away—I'm still obsessing and experiencing body dysmorphia. Yes, it would have definitely helped me, because at the time I didn't know that many trans people, and definitely didn't know anything about detransitioners, I've heard a little bit, but all the stories were like “well those people were never trans on the first place,” you know, the same things they're telling me right now, so it's a very important documentary, it was pretty well balanced, I'm glad it was not really a radical documentary, it was very factual, so I think that it could help a lot of people.

Luka: I also just wanted to add that when it comes to a parent talking to their child about this, regardless of the age of the child, or anyone in general really, it's important to remember that only telling someone “yes” and telling someone “yes, you're valid” and only affirming them and only saying “yes” is not an act of love. That's not what love is. Love is not giving in to every whim and only saying “yes.” Love is putting up those boundaries and saying “no,” and having to keep someone safe, even when they might be upset at you for it, because only saying “yes,” and only going down one path, and only affirming, isn't love, it's enabling, and I feel like that's just something that parents need to understand with this.

Panel moderator: Thank you, we're going to have another question.

Audience member: Sometimes clinicians tell parents that if you insist too much, if you try to show your children a different reality, they will dig their heels in even further. [Some panelists nod.] What is the difference between the things that do that, versus the things that you think can actually bring on a shift in understanding?

Rachel: I think it's tricky, because I feel like I had to actually, unfortunately, transition to be grounded back in reality, because you’re told all these things—the thing with transition is it's sold as this magic cure, like the snake oil to cure anything, because we don't really understand what gender is anyways, and we haven't really done this experiment culturally. There are a couple people who did it, like, way early in the 1900s, like a handful of people, but it was out of reach for most people until medical science today, so there's this huge placebo effect, and when people have these different mental illnesses, we don't really know a lot of time how to solve them, but the thing is, the power of belief works really well, and transition, there's like this whole “gender euphoria” thing with testosterone, it is very euphoric. How do you bring people back to reality without them having to actually go through it? I think, and this is the tricky thing, I think that's why we're gathered here, is that we don't really hear the downsides of transition, right, we only hear about “oh, this is this euphoric thing that's gonna be life-changing, affirming, it’s going to be this person's real authentic self, and it makes us all good people for affirming, you know these trans kids because you know we have to save them from themselves from suicide.” I don't know, I think just sharing stories of like people who have gone through transition who were, or maybe still identify as trans, but found “hey, like there are some issues with this and there are other ways we can deal with this,” whether that's recognizing there's maybe autism, maybe there's internalized homophobia, there's other kinds of traumas, I think just people being more aware that there's this other side of transition that isn't the the “rosy” side of transition.

Estella: To understand your question, like “how do you avoid them from being you know upset that you're showing them the the other way,” and I remember the mindset that I was in at 19, at the time, I came out on social media because I knew that my parents would give me pushback and I just wanted to just spring it on them and just not give them any chance to have any kind of push back to me. So I remember my mother telling me “You'll never be able to fully get a penis! You'll never be able to impregnate a woman!” all these different things that were logical arguments and I was just like “No no, Buck Angel has a penis!” you know, all these different things, and I just wanted her to hear me, I just wanted her to hear what I thought was going to be a good idea, and I think that maybe a good solution would be “Okay, well, if you want to show me your resources or propaganda or whatever, then I would like you to watch some resources that are from my side” and then that way they could feel listened to and you could see what they're actually looking at and then give them an opportunity “Okay we watched it now please would you watch this documentary with me, or would you read some of the side effects and we'll go in and see ‘Do you know what a cyst is?’ ‘Do you know where those come from?’ ‘So here are all these different side effects.’ ‘What does atrophy mean?’ ‘When a woman goes through atrophy, is it just their uterus or is it their bladder? And all the muscles that are along with that?’” because that's something I didn't know until probably about a year ago, and I'm 27, and I should have been—a doctor should have sat down and talked to me about those, but that never happened, so if you had like a little “give and take” maybe that would be helpful, that's the best solution I can think of right now, in this moment.

Luka: I think it also is, you know, it's somewhat inevitable that when you give pushback, sometimes these kids are going to be upset. It is natural in child development for each age group, is there are boundaries, and it is very natural for kids to push against those boundaries in a healthy way, and it is the job of the adults to make sure that those boundaries are still maintained and that the kid can express that pushback in a healthy way. It's unfortunate with this issue that we've seemingly, as a society, not only we just removed the boundary to push against, but put a medical system there in place. But sometimes when you push back, they're gonna be upset, and they're gonna need a space to really express that, because you know when they are upset, that is an emotion that they are having regardless of if, you know, as an adult, you feel like maybe the reason is stupid, or they're overreacting. To that child, that's a very real experience, that they are very upset about this. And whether that be that they just need some space to go blow off some steam, or they need you to be there as a compassionate adult to explain to them why you did what you did, or they just need someone to listen, it is still a parent or adult's job to do that with a sense of care, because you know you can't force someone to realize things, but you can be there, and you can be there in the best way that that kid needs. And that's going to be different for every kid, and some of them are just, they're gonna be stubborn, they're gonna be upset for long periods of time, but I think just for this issue, we can't just throw out that responsibility that even if a kid is upset, as long as you are doing what you're doing with care, and they are able to process that emotion of being upset, that that is still a good thing, because you know the parents have a lot of emotions in this and they deserve a space to process those as well. The kids are going to have a lot of emotions, and we really have seemingly taken away that space that they need to process those to come to the realization that maybe you know “hey maybe my mom isn't pushing back because she's hateful, maybe she's concerned” or you know the parent being “maybe my kid isn't acting out because you know I told them ‘no’ but maybe they're acting out because there is a deeper issue there and they are crying out for help.”

Laura: Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. I just wanted to add on to the idea of boundaries. What I often tell parents is, you know, this isn't palatable to hear, but the reality is that whether you tiptoe around—I've known parents that tiptoe around every little thing and they're walking on eggshells all of the time and it's extremely stressful—and I know parents who just get right up in there and take charge and say “no I'm the parent and I'm doing this” and I've known both sort of methods being taken and it is up to the individual parenting style, and the relationship you have with the child, but the reality is that as Lukas said, pushing back against authority and against parental wisdom is natural, normal, and even healthy. It can be an opportunity to further develop the relationship, because a child needs to learn how to manage their emotions. They need to learn how to take “no” for an answer, they need to learn how to look critically at other people's perspectives, and so it's very difficult. But repair is the other side to preserving a relationship. There will be conflicts, sometimes severe conflicts and damage will be done to the relationship, and so I think a lot of parents are focused so much on not damaging the relationship, which is understandable, but once it is damaged, I think that's when a lot of people might get into a really worse situation than if they had focused more on just the long run, you know, each little incident or confrontation is a smaller battle in a longer war, a war of preserving a relationship and having just a healthy life for everyone involved. I think focusing on “how do you repair” learning how to repair with your child is going to be critical, because it might be a very long period of time where they're processing things and if you act resentfully towards them, or bitter, or start punishing them, overly criticizing them. This is a more severe version of what may happen, but I had a parent who would verbally abuse me and gaslight me about it, and you know, I understand that they were angry and they were emotionally dysregulated, and that shouldn't have happened, but once it did happen, there was another opportunity there, the real work could have lied in the repair, that they had an opportunity to repair their relationship and further understand my perspective, but instead of doing that, they would gaslight me about it, and say that it was my fault, and say that never happened and that they did nothing wrong and in fact, I was, you know, punishing them or being a b-tch to them, you know, it was like very manipulative, that really damaged me, to feel it was all my fault, no matter what I did. Any emotion I had was unacceptable, and so whether it's arising to the level of like verbal abuse, or just—it's a spectrum of behaviors—but being able to repair and to acknowledge, you know, “I understand that this is painful for you” and not adding a “but” into it or like “but I feel this way” or like “but you're not listening” or like “you're so difficult, you're so difficult to deal with” you know, something I've heard a lot.

[cont] Really listening, and allowing them space so that they can start to trust you again, because the more you push when there's already been a damage a fracture to the relationship, the further and further away they're going to get, and then you might try to cling on even more, they're going to keep going. So it is inevitable that there will be damage, and I do think it's more prudent in the long term to think about the bigger picture of the relationship, and you may even lose what many people consider to be the biggest battle of all, which is when they get testosterone, when they get a prescription for hormones, when they get surgery, when they become an adult and they do something permanent, the reality is that even that is only a battle in the long-term war. There is life after the surgeries, obviously none of us advise doing it, but I think a lot of parents are so focused on just preventing that surgical outcome that they may lose sight of other ways to better the relationship, and once gender is over, what if they what if they forget about gender, what if you forget about gender, what what would that even be like? Are you consuming so much of your life based around that? Is there anything else in your marriage but just talking about the kids' gender problems, for example. And I'm not criticizing anyone, but I feel, you know, think about the long term, and things come and go, you know.

Shape: I'll be quick, I feel like one thing I've learned being in trans and detrans community, a lot of us have childhood trauma and if your kid thinks that they may be trans, maybe there's some trauma you don't know about, maybe you failed to protect them from predators, maybe you're the source of the trauma, because a lot of parents have been traumatized as kids themselves so they have all those personality disorders that they kind of transfer to their kids, so sometimes you need to look at yourself as well before communicating better with your child. Also unfortunately right now a lot of trans activists such as Jeffrey Marsh are teaching children online that they should go “no contact” with their parents if parents try to push back on transgender identity, which is completely crazy. It's pretty much emotionally manipulating parents to agree to support their transition, which sucks.

Chloe: Right. I mean, I agree that as a parent there are going to be some things that you'll have to do for your child that you may not necessarily want to, that they may not necessarily want, or that might not be the best for your relationship in the short term, and for a lot of parents this does involve taking away all Internet devices like their computers, iPads, phones, whatever else might give them internet access, and I think in most cases this is a good approach, but I think that if you're going to take something away, you have to replace it with something. A lot of these kids, the problem is a lot of them are addicted to the internet, because they were introduced to at a young age, and these devices are very stimulating, and for a lot of kids, especially kids who may not necessarily have a lot of friends at school, it can give them a sense of community online, but I really don't think that the internet and technology in general is really appropriate developmentally for most kids and teens, and a lot of these kids, they don't feel like they really belong to any communities in person, they don't really have any friends at school, a lot of them are bullied, many of them aren't really active in clubs, or sports, or extracurricular programs. If you're going to take away this one big thing from them, you have to replace it with I think one of those, which they should be in already.

Brian: Yeah, just real quick, I think one of the things that would have helped me in the beginning was if I had just gotten out of my woke echo chamber at my college, like if I had someone took me surfing, or gone dirt biking, gotten into some kind of rigorous exercise, I think that would have really helped, but yeah it's true. My psychologist, when my dad wasn't down with it, she was like “eh, you just won't have a father anymore” and I cut him out of my life for many years and I regret that now but, you know, had I just gone camping with my dad a couple times, or just listened to—I mean once I started listening to—it's really corny, but I started—I listened—there was two podcasts with Joe Rogan that I listened to as a trans, I was like “no no no, I'm still a man, I like man things,” and you know, not that women can't like, you know, MMA fights and, you know, certain things, but, you know it really realized that, and being sober, I was like “I made a huge mistake,” and yeah, take your kids out in nature.

[Time is reached, panel ends. Panel moderator thanks panelists, and informs the audience about current bills being considered in the legislature.]

[qualcosadelgenere]

PT.1

1) Freddie McQueen: "Rages that he will enter into the MI6 as a spy in the future."

2) Johnny Gascoigne: "He might dress and act like a punk, but deep down he's a real softie."

3) David Buckingham: "Royal family enthusiast who buys anything with a royal warrant."

4) Lance Rotten: "Clinging to the rights and privileges of the aristocracy, he asserts his right to lead"

5) Edge Ripper: "A heavy metal vocalist. He is popular enough to perform abroad at his age."

6) Peter Cole: "A music buff who insists that the British music scene is the best in the world."

7) Gary Links: "The scones he makes are perfect in any English tea!"

8) Paul Appleton: "He wants to form a band that will go down in history, but members don't gather."

9) Eric Purpleton: "An expert of tennis that was said to compete at Wimbledon. He went to soccer due to wrist injuries."

10) Edgar Valtinas: "A quiet, brave leader. One of the best players who has both ability and popularity."

11) Philip Owen: "He wants to succeed in English cooking and prevent anyone from saying that it's absolutely bad."

12) Gareth Barrett: "Born in the house of a butler and is an expert at entertaining people."

13) Martin Squall: "He worked well to take care of a horse who had successfully won a Derby!"

14) Nick Woodgate: "He's seriously thinking about opening a school for wizards."

15) Mikey Richards: "There is no junior high school student who exceeds him by the knowledge of suits and the technology of tailoring."

16) Beat Smash: "Sometimes makes a mistake by touching the ball with his hand because he is good at rugby."

1) Thorsten Berger: "His family are brewers, but he prefers a nice glass of Apfelschorle."

2) Alexander Hausen: "This player always acts logically, no matter what kind of situation he's in."

3) Heinrich Fritz: "Because of his strange hobby of sharpening knives, he is often mistaken for a baddy."

4) Kurt Zabel: "If he doesn't get his daily portion of Kartoffelsalat, he's got no energy."

5) Luka Schmitt: "He is big on tanks and goes around tank museums in Europe."

6) Theodor Ulrich: "His civilized manners and steel temperament make him the German model athlete."

7) Jan Oldeno: "Since he thinks that Germany's technical strength is the best in the world, he goes around recommending German products to people."

8) Niklas Kuster: "People call him "Niklas of Blitzkrieg" due to him breaking through opponent's lines with his speed."

9) Jonas Polak: "His dream is to go on a manned flight to Mars with a rocket that he made."

10) Maximilian Milatz: "He believes that German wine is the best in the world, but has never drank wine."

11) Peter Nimke: "He loves German poetry and always carries a collection of poems by Heinrich Heine."

12) Gerald Enders: "He can't wait to pass his test and get behind the wheel of a smart German motor."

13) Erwin Völz: "He is interested in ecology more than anyone else and keeps in mind to always act earth-friendly."

14)Jens Hoffmann: "He is studying to be more of a composer than Beethoven in a music school."

15) Ernst Frodeno: "He's from Breman, but is driven to distraction by caterwauling farm animals."

16) Manuel Ewers: "An accomplished sausage maker who keeps his team well supplied with protein."

1) Nasser Mustafa: "Powerful tribal clan's son. He is said not to come back until he wins the tournament."

2) Far Farouk: "Good at making cakes by processing the fruit of a date palm."

3) Bjorn Kyle: "A boy who seems to live in the shadows. He pulls the team with high mobility."

4) Djamel Djammadu: "He is trying to aim the country to be less reliable on oil and more focused on tourism."

5) Musa Sirer: "This player wants to improve Qatar's manufacturing base and diversify."

6) Yusuf M'hadi: "This player deeply respects tribal traditions, and wouldn't like to live away from home."

7) Sulai Sulaiman: "He is thinking about a method to have seawater to freshwater cheap for everyone in Qatar."

8) Seiyd Armand: "This player is concerned that his country's economy is dependant on oil exports."

9) Messer Jassim: "This player is an expert at finding natural pearls. They're pretty pricey these days."

10) Zack Abdullah: "Best among the tribes in taking care of camels. He seems to hear anything that the camel says."

11) Majidi Ismail: "A master at catching monitor lizards in the desert. However its better not to show a girl."

12) Talal Hamad: "His dream is to enter the Middle East's best TV station and send news to the world."

13) Hassan Ahmed: "This forward is known as the Eagle of Qatar for his swooping attacks."

14) Khalfan Jibril: "This player is keen on preserving ancient mosques, and the fine arts of the Middle East."

15) Rajab Ismail: "He is going to make a novel about Qatar's social problems so it can appeal to everyone."

16) Adel Siddique: "He wants to make a popular movie that is loved by everyone in Qatar."

[cornfieldofbabylon]

Hein’s lawsuit describes how she struggled through her parents’ divorce in her early teens, how she was groomed online by predatory adults, struggled dramatically with her mental health, and ultimately was put on testosterone for four years, causing disruptions in her endocrine system, heart damage, her voice to deepen, pain throughout her body, and “permanent dysregulation of her reproductive organs.”  Represented by the Pittsburgh-based nonprofit legal group Center for American Liberty, Hein is accusing her doctors of causing her physical pain and mental suffering, both past and future, heavy medical expenses, permanent impairment of her earning capacity, inconvenience and loss of enjoyment of life, and permanent scarring, injury, and disability.  “As a proximate result of the actions of the Defendants, and each of them, Luka’s breasts were surgically amputated, leaving her physically and psychologically scarred,” the lawsuit says. “If she has not also suffered the loss of her fertility, Luka has lost her ability to breastfeed, thereby depriving her of the maternal benefits of nursing.”

[vvussyboy]

Concerts I’ve been to (that I can remember):

pearl jam x3

eddie vedder & the earthlings

andrea bocelli

soundgarden

foo fighters x2

manchester orchestra

stone temple pilots

mcr x3

zz top

the kills x2

the raconteurs

metallica

lukas graham

billy boy on poison x2

avenged sevenfold x3

papa roach

paramore

billy strings

buckcherry

hailstorm x2

beck x2

alabama shakes

regina spektor

sigur rós

stevie wonder

hein cooper

wanda jackson

jack white x3

puddle of mud

jetstream

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

"In the past 4 or 5 months, I have watched as my body has fallen apart in front of me, my joints constantly hurting, my vocal chords aching, watching as parts of me atrophy before my very eyes. How can you look me in the eyes and tell me that a child can consent to being chained to an experimental medical industry?"

"I began my transition in California. It was when I was a minor that I was first affirmed to adopt a false identity. But now I am 26 years old and I am dealing with genital atrophy, urinary issues, possible sterilization, tremors on half of my body, back pain, memory loss, loss of my eyesight, and many more issues that I may develop as I age. My story is not an outlier or that of a failed transition, but a realization of the truth of this practice. If you look online, you will see many stories like mine. Looking back, I wish there was proper safeguards to protect me."

"For many of us, transition was not the life-saving treatment we were sold. Some of us are standing on the other side and looking back thinking, 'what the heck did I do to myself, and why did people just go along with it?' Some of us are struggling with infertility, some with body image. If you were me and you knew there was a way to prevent something traumatic that happened to you from happening to someone else, wouldn't you advocate for that?"

"Trans women in the trans community think that estrogen is just for looks. But there is so much more to it, you know, it definitely changes the way you feel, the way you think. In terms of hormones, there is no studies comparing it to placebo, to even get an idea, is it any better than placebo? Usually when you do drug studies, you do compare it to a placebo. But within a year of taking estrogen, I started hating my penis. I got convinced that it was just like, it needs to go, it doesn't belong on my body. I was getting very dysphoric. So, I literally went from being okay with my genitals to hating it and wanting it off my body."

"I'm still experiencing a wide range of complications to this day from the hormones and blockers. I've been experiencing some joint pains, mainly in my arms, my legs and my back. I still have issues with my urinary tract, I have to use the restroom pretty frequently, and I didn't even know that this was possible. This is like a pretty huge quality of life issue. I do hate to speak about it but I'm experiencing sexual dysfunction at the age of 18. That's something that women usually go through when... when they're in their forties to fifties."

==

All of which could have been avoided by letting them go un-medicalized. HRT is not "reversible."

Puberty is the cure, not the disease.

[eternal-echoes]

Detransitioner Speaks Out At Florida Bill Signing

Luka Hein: I am someone who went through the gender-affirming care industry as a minor. And a little bit of background about me: I was a teenager with multiple comorbidities and mental health issues who was struggling and was put down this path, instead of given the help I actually needed. Resulting in the first medical intervention I ever had being a double mastectomy at 16. I was one of the kids that needed a chance to just grow up and get the help I needed. I was one of the kids that needed the adults to step up and do what is right. Children deserve a chance to grow up whole and discover themselves in a way that will not link them to an experimental medical industry for the rest of their lives. I will live with the results of what was done to me for the rest of my life, including all the health issues I deal with because of it. But other kids don't have to now, thanks to what is going on here in Florida. And I applaud Florida for going through the medical board and now protecting kids in a more permanent way via legislation. Kids deserve a chance to grow up and that is what is happening today. It's not about hate; it's about giving kids a chance to grow up whole.

[kuolevi]

sketch of the Ozhegova brothers

[poumtchak]

REQUIEM DE LA RUINE I LA MUSIQUE REND-ELLE PUDIQUE ?

On veut toujours ce qu’il y a de mieux pour ses enfants, et c’est bien normal. Les ouvrir au monde et leur donner les moyens de s’y épanouir, le voilà le rôle central des parents! Les vacances au ski, les cours de piano, le permis de conduire ou l’école de commerce… Après, bien sûr, chacun fait en fonction de ses moyens ; et quand l’argent vient à manquer, il faut faire preuve de créativité.

En temps de crise et de chômage de masse par exemple, on peut opter pour une balle dans la tête en plein sommeil, mais en terme de perspective d’avenir, Xavier Dupont de Ligonnès nous a montré  qu’un tas de gravats sous une terrasse n’en n’offrait pas plus que ça. Pareil pour Véronique Courjault et sa technique dite « du congélateur« . Le froid ça conserve, ça on ne dit pas, mais en terme de pédagogie, la cryogénisation n’a pas fait ses preuves plus que ça non plus.

Alors il reste quoi ? Si on ne veut pas que nos gosses finissent en taule, sur Youporn ou en fac de socio, il reste quoi? Pas de panique. Il reste Disney Channel, le Endemol sauce Biggy avec des grandes oreilles en plus… Hé oui, en plus d’être parentale – et d’aider à lutter contre la constipation passagère – la fibre peut aussi s’avérer de nature artistique.

Le Mickey Mouse Club de Disney Channel, c’est autre chose qu’un club de plage à Saint-Jean-de-Monts. Quand t’inscris ton gosse là-bas, tu signes pour 20 ans. Le projet, c’est pas vraiment de faire du trampoline et des pâtés de sable. T’y rentres, t’as 4 ans, t’en sors, t’es millionnaire, tu sais chanter, danser, montrer ton cul et sniffer plus de coke que Cyril Hanouna  et Jean-Luc Delarue réunis un soir de prime-time. En avant la musique!

Prenons Miley Cyrus par exemple, ce pur produit Disney, actuellement en tête de gondole un peu partout. Miley Cyrus, « la teupu qui fait sa grosse teupu » comme dirait mon pote Moktar, celle que les p’tits loups ont connu avec Hannah Montana, 20 ans à peine, et qui  en moins de 6 mois a déjà réussi à élever l’art de la chanson au rang de pratique bucco-génitale.

Non contente de faire la fierté de ses parents à se trémousser en levrette sur la scène des MTV Music Awards dans un Sloggi couleur chair devant des millions de téléspectateurs, la pitchounette continue sa course au buzz et son ascension du raffinement en se balançant le cul à l’air sur une boule de destruction et en léchant des marteaux langoureusement dans son dernier clip.

Il paraît que dans le prochain, elle se baignera dans une piscine de sperme entourée de zaïrois sur-membrés  en train de s’astiquer sur le rebord. C’est comme un rêve de petite fille qui se réalise pour elle.

Mais ne soyons pas naïfs, il y a des gens derrière elle, et je ne parle pas d’orifice là. Il y a des gens qui la pilotent, qui l’orientent, des gens qui l’exploitent pour dire les choses. Seulement, maintenant qu’elle a tout enlevé, ce sera quoi la prochaine fois? Elle va s’auto-dépecer sur scène? S’enlever la peau elle-même, comme ça, en direct ? À défaut de montrer ses fesses, elle va nous montrer quoi? Sa rate? Ses poumons ?

Non mais sérieusement, si elle veut s’inscrire dans la durée mignonnette, il faudra quoi la prochaine fois? Une équipe de rugby avec le banc des remplaçants? Des animaux et des objets contondants? Et pourquoi pas un snuff clip ? Hein? Quelque chose entre le film de bondage yougoslave, le happening de Luka Magnotta et un clip deRihanna ? Buzzer vite et mourir jeune! Putain, je crois qu’on tient un concept là!

Vocalises et poils pubiens !

[laus-deo]

Tras su detransición, Luka tiene un mensaje para jóvenes: «No hay nada en ti que haya "nacido mal"»

Tras pasar por una serie de tratamientos y una mastectomía completa, la detransitioner estadounidense Luka Hein ha vuelto a ser ella. Recientemente ha estado en Italia, invitada por Pro Vita & Famiglia, para contar su historia en siete ciudades italianas en una gira bajo el título Engañada. Por qué nadie nace en el cuerpo equivocado. Tampoco yo. Con ese motivo le ha entrevistado Giuliano Guzzo en…

[bolchcoffeevik]

A Krinkova, Moldavie.

« Il n’y à pas trente-six chemins de toute façon, à la fin. » lança Micha. Luka ne répondit rien, et Micha reprit :

« Qu’est-ce que t’en dit ?

— J’en dis que ces expressions toutes faites, c’est pour les flemmards. Et que je ne suis pas un flemmard. Et qu’avant de causer je pense, je réfléchi, je mets les mots dans l’ordre. Je te parle pas d’un discours hein, sois d’accord, mais je pense bien avant de causer. Toi par exemple, t’adore la bouffe non ?

— Putain pourquoi est-ce que je te parle encore déjà…

— Bon c’est acté que t’aimes la bouffe. Ecoute, quand tu vas te faire un plat, un bon plat, même un plat de tout les jours, pas le plat du dimanche quand t’as les beaux parents qui se ramènent, ou je ne sais quel mignonne du bourg hein, mais juste ton plat des midis de la semaine, je parle du midi parce que le soir t’as plus le temps de cuisiner et mon exemple, eh bien il est surtout pertinent si je compare avec le repas du midi, eh bien quand tu prépares ta bouffe du midi, t’achètes pas des merdes toute prêtes en boite là. Cette espèce de mélasse prémâchée toute bonne à être dégueulasse. Ca te nourris pas ! Et si tu te nourris pas beh… tu crèves hein. Et faut pas crever. Pas maintenant du moins. Enfin moi j’ai pas envie. Enfin attends, moi j’ai pas envie de crever, j’ai pas, pas envie que toi tu crèves, ça je t’aime bien, mais si t’as envie de te laisser mourir je conçois, ça aussi ça se pense. Tu vois ?

— Non. Je ne vois pas, Luka. Et ça ne m’intéresse vraiment pas ce que tu racontes. Je ne comprends rien. On ne comprend rien. Tu penses trop, et ça t’empêche de bien te servir de tes bras. On n’est pas des bonnes femmes. Cherche pas à bosser et à parler en même temps. Tiens ! C’est comme la bouffe. Tu parles pas la bouche pleine, parce que c’est vulgaire, et bah là, c’est pareil. Tu parles pas en travaillant, ça se fait pas, c’est vulgaire. »

                Et les deux compères reprirent leur basse besogne, en silence. Micha creusait à son rythme habituel, sans vitesse, sans lenteur, hors du temps mais toujours dans les temps. Luka lui, s’acharnait. A chaque coup porté contre la terre, le manche de sa pioche tremblait. Micha s’arrêta, posa son cul contre une tombe un peu plus loin et fixa son collègue.

« Putain qu’est-ce t’as aujourd’hui ?

–– Rien ! répondit Luka.

— Arrête, te fous pas de moi. On dirait bien que t’a la boiteuse qui danse la polka.

–– Tu recommences !… Avec toi c’est toujours la même chose. J’ai pas gouté au rayons du soleil que déjà tu m’emmerdes. Moi le matin, j’aimerais bien que le vent y me pince les joues, mais j’ai juste le droit de me taper ton haleine fétide, comme tous les matins ! Parce qu’avec toi, c’est toujours la même chose. Tu te lèves trop tard le matin, et quand on se lève trop tard le matin, et bien le vent qui pince les joues, il a déjà disparu, il a déjà foutu le camp, et ça reste plus qu’un froid de plomb pour deux andouilles de fossoyeur.    

— Tu vas pas recommencer avec ça !

–– Que si ! Que si !

–– On n’a qu’une clef ! Et je te la passerai pas ! Et tu sais très bien pourquoi ! Et Remet pas le couvert ! ... Et lâche moi cette pioche Nom de Nom ! Tu vas nous réveiller les morts à taper comme un con. »

                D’un coup d’un seul, la pioche fendit le crane de Micha. La colère avait eut raison de Luka. Micha s’effondra dans la fosse qu’ils creusaient quelques instants plus tôt.

« C’est toujours pareil avec toi, t’as tout le temps raison. Et cette fois t’auras ben raison pour la dernière fois. A la fin des fins il n’y a pas trente-six chemins. »