#Lucius is a god confirmed

[chaoticcatbehaviour]

I personally think it's Lucius because it would be ironic that he tried to stab his own father but oh well...(Also Lucius means 'light' so that's another factor)

I'm so unwell about them someone Help me please

Ignore my ranting in the tags

[saltpepperbeard]

OBLIGATORY COMPLETE OFMD SEASON 2 TRAILER THOUGHTS AND RAMBLES POST™

Woo boy this is going to be a long one, and I mean, A LONG ONE LMAO. And, of course, all in good fun; i simply just Have To Scream and Incessantly Ramble. So, if you'd like to scream along with me, and read through an ESSAY OF THOUGHTS HERE SHDKJSDHS-

I just have to start things off with my babygirl. With the babygirlest of babygirls. LOOK at that pining. INSANE levels of pining. "When will my husband return from the war" levels of it, quite frankly PFFF. And with the hair back and the slut strands out too like???

I will say, it's very interesting to see him pining like this out in the open. I very much expected him to say locked away in his cabin most of the time, and stay entirely masked whenever he's out. But it seems like he makes STEPS towards healing rather early into the season, as the Kraken Getup seems to drop pretty quick. So, I'm very interested to know how that'll play into his dynamic with other characters (Fang, for example, seems to take notice, based on the comment he makes in the next screenie).

regardless, babygirl you're so strong and beautiful and i'm wrapping you in a blanket, kissing you on the forehead, and express shipping your man RIGHT into your arms. it'll get better, i promise.

but no really i'm going insane because like...just when edward teach couldn't get anymore beautiful, he really decides to pull up with a MESSY BUN???

HIIIIIII FANGY HI FRENCHIE HELLLOOOO MY SWEETHEARTS <3

I don't talk about Fang nearly as much as I should because I love him so much. I think getting a hug from him would Heal Me, actually. Like please hsdjkss he's so sweet- "I've never seen Blackbeard like this 🥺." CAN I GET HIM A PUPPY? I'M GETTING HIM A PUPPY.

Also please are they eating cake hsdksjks. ARE THEY EATING WEDDING CAKE. Imagine your raid is to crash a wedding, steal cake toppers, and then eat what's left of the wedding cake jskdhsdjkls. DREAM JOB???

AND THEN THIS. HOOOOO BOY. HOOOOOOOOOOO BOY.

when i tell y'all i am Foaming At The Mouth over this. Like, it obviously guts me to see Stede crying, but it makes me SO intrigued to know what made him come to the more stark realization, what made him flip from optimistic and bitchy to more somber and pained.

There SEEMS to be some sort of shift sometime around when he sees Ed's wanted poster, because there's that shot of him looking melancholic in the rain. But it doesn't quite seem as stark as THIS.

It makes me wonder if it's a gradual assembly of puzzle pieces, ie finding out about the marooning, then Lucius, then Ed's scourge across the Caribbean, etc etc. And it slooooowly dawns on him that his decision to leave in order to keep Ed happy ended up doing EXACTLY the opposite.

OR, I wonder if this is following the reunion—a PAINFUL one at that. Like, maybe he still was going into it a bit idyllic, and was holding onto the hope that it would still be alright...only for Ed to react poorly/in a way he never anticipated to see. He went into it maybe with a bit of anxiety, but ultimately leaned on the denial...only to have all the fears confirmed.

Or maybe it's a mixture of both. But either way, it's SO so interesting to see him have to SIT with it all. And even though it hurts to see HIM hurt, I'm actually very glad they addressed this and made him feel the heavier weight.

...Only to transition right into silliness here with this shot dHJKSDKLS. ed babe listen i get it. i Get It. i'm right there with you, babe.

BUT ALSO, makes me wonder what he was smoking in his pipe beforehand. Or maybe it was the transition from pipe to a straight BLUNT that got him shdjksd. Or MAYBE it was just ~*~the sapphic kush~*~ that took him out PFFFF. wlw on mlm violence idk.

SPEAKING of which...

here we go, lesbians. here we go, lesbians, come on. oH MY GOD, LESBIANS,,,

do you think anne and mary want me

BUT OKAY LMAO THESE TWO,,,

With that whole shot where it looks like Anne just kissed Stede, and the way they're both 👀👀 at Ed and Stede having their tense little interaction, I have to wonder if their gaydars go off and one or both subsequently decide to stir shit up PFFFF. Like, causing chaos by making Ed/Stede jealous type deal. And maybe Anne kissing Stede is what makes Ed choke on the blunt sdhkshdks WHO KNOWS.

Regardless, very excited to see the pairs interact. WHO KNOWS WHAT SORT OF MLM WLW SHENANIGANS WILL HAPPEN SDKJS.

And ALSO in relation to that scene, I just have to shdjksdhljksdkls over the editing because it took me out. Ed being like "And more importantly, no more Stede >:)" only to show his little wedding topper doll with Stede's subsequent "HULLOOO, IDWAD."

Killed me. KILLED ME DEAD. And also, a neat little way of editing call Ed out on his bullshit REAL FAST HSDJKSL. like, honey, you can try, but you know full and damn well that silly little guy has burrowed into the deepest chambers of your heart. he has your heart and you have his, WHOOPS.

Ricky, right? This is Ricky??

"WHEN I CATCH YOU, RICKY. RICKY, WHEN I CATCH YOU, RICKY..."

So okay, a nose prosthesis is metal as hell, but that means we ALLLLLL know who he got tangled with PFFF. And I believe we see him in the Republic of Pirates talking to Stede and Co??? So I'm very VERY interested to see how that all devolves, and how he goes from vibing to wanting to throw hands.

Unless he was like, on some sort of reconnaissance mission for the British in the first place.

But I digress. RICKY, WHEN I CATCH YOU, RICKY. RICKY, WHEN I CATCH YOU HSDJKLSLKS

...The way I missed this SEVERAL times over, and didn't even see it until someone else pointed it out in another post.

IZZY WITH A HOOF PEGLEG. PRESUMABLY FROM THE UNICORN. BECAUSE WHERE ELSE WOULD THEY GET A WOODEN HOOF HSDKLJS.

But that also has me like 👁️👁️ for SO many different reasons. How did he lose a good portion of his leg? Was Stede the one to offer up the unicorn leg as a pegleg?

And TRULY, WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH HIM AND STEDE ANYWAY HSDKJLS LIKE I STILL CAN'T EVEN WRAP MY MIND FULLY AROUND THAT ONE,,,

My running theory is still that like...Izzy wanted a very specific version of Blackbeard. Izzy wanted someone who no longer exists, or maybe never existed to begin with. And so Izzy thought he was doing right by taking Stede out of the picture and nudging Ed back into a more viscous type of pirating...

Only for that to COMPLETELY backfire, and for Ed to get far more unstable. And like, something something Izzy was already complaining about Ed's "erratic moods" and "questionable decisions" BEFORE Stede came into the picture, so I doubt he's going to be content with Ed's turmoil and all the impulsivity that'll likely come with it.

So maybe, MAYBE, I'm thinking he'll have a bit of growth by realizing that Ed and Stede need each other, or maybe that Ed was way happier when things were smoother between him and Stede, at least. And knowing him and his characterization lol, it might not even be a selfless realization/decision. Maybe he'll only be doing it because he wants a less emotional version of Ed, and thinks that having Stede around and being cordial with him will allow that to happen.

And maybe it leads to even MORE growth when he gets roped into training Stede/the crew idk.

Regardless, REGARDLESS, they are one of the last pairs I ever expected to team up, because they were ACTIVELY bitching at each other all through last season HSDJKS.

HI AGAIN OLU MY SWEET LOVELY OLU MY SWEETHEART DARLING <3

BUT WHO ARE WE FIGHTING, SIR. WHAT'S THE TEA????

I'm not 100% certain, but it SEEMS like this is at Jackie's, or at least in the Republic of Pirates somewhere. And based on Ricky's injury, and also other little tidbits of footage, it SEEMS like something goes down there. Maybe some sort of scuffle between the Navy and our guys or something equivalent that snowballs into even ~*~Larger Problems~*~

SEE BECAUSE YEAH—EXPLOSIONS?? CANNON FIRE??? WHAT'RE Y'ALL DOIIINNNGGG LMAO.

And it's so wild because I definitely see Olu (with the CROCS OFC LMAO) and Pete, and then I THINK I see Lucius and Izzy in that mix too??? So like,,,

WHAT DID Y'ALL GET TANGLED IN SDHJKSKLS. AND WHERE IN THE SEASON WOULD THIS FALL??????

Oh this hurts lol. This one hurts. This one hurts a LOT. Stede Bonnet stop breaking my heart Challenge: impossible.

Because that's his home. That's his soul placed into a ship. That's the conglomeration of his hope, and heart, and adventure, and family,,,

And it's in RUINS.

LIKE, CAN THINGS STOP GOING BADLY FOR HIM ACTUALLY HSDKJS. CAN HE STOP GETTING DECKED BY HIS TRAUMA OVER AND OVER AND OVER. BECAUSE,,,

Fresh off the "you defile beautiful things/you're a monster/you're a failure/you ruin everything you touch" train, and he comes back to this. And if this is after he reunites with Ed and realizes things are bad, then man, that'll be even WORSE.

LIKE, NUMEROUS CHAMBERS OF HIS HEART HAVE BEEN SHREDDED. HIS HOME AND HEART ARE BROKEN.

mmMMmmmMMMMMM DAVID CAN WE MAYBE NOT <3 SHDJKLSKS

BUT, off we go cartwheeling from that footage to a VERY interesting bit of dialogue from Stede:

"The entire escape relies on this."

Escape?? ESCAPE???

Here I was thinking they enlisted they help of the Red Flag Fleet and/or Susan to try and catch up with the Revenge. So, ESCAPE???????

Did they get captured? Snatched up from the Republic of Pirates or something equivalent? Does someone have beef with Ed and holds Stede and Co hostage because they're trying to aid him?

OR, are they voluntarily on that ship to hide/lay low from the Navy or something, but their cover has been blown, and they have to quickly flee back onto the Revenge?

Very very inch resting whatever the case.

...

STEDE. FOOKIN. BONNET,,,

🧎🧎🧎🧎🧎🧎

LIKE SIR, WHAT THE FUCK SHDSKD, Y'KNOW??? WITH THE STIDDIES OUT AND THE EARRING AND THE SCRUFF,,,

GOD LMAO. JESUS CHALUPA. CEASE.

like, you're telling me ed is going to see him like this and isn't going to IMMEDIATELY drop and start tying his hair into a ponytail? mmmMMKAY

BUT OKAY—ACTUALLY, that joke sort of brings me to a more angsty theory, because of course it does lol. I have to wonder if Stede is dressing like this because he legitimately wants to, OR, if it's because he feels like he has to.

Like, something something he's trying to do everything he can to win respect and establish himself and ALSO win back his man. And, something something he is ONCE AGAIN doing what HE thinks Ed wants, as opposed to what Ed might ACTUALLY want. Like, "Oh, he's a notorious pirate. He'll like me again if I have a little more gruff and backbone, right? That's what pirates like, right???"

LIKE NO YOU DOOFUS HSDSHDS HE LOVES YOU AS YOU ARE, JUST AS YOU LOVE HIM HOW HE IS. AND HE DREAMS OF DRESSING IN A DRESS WHEN MARRYING YOU. SO LIKE,,,

IF THAT IS INDEED THE CASE, I'M BEATING ED TO THE CHASE AND HEADBUTTING HIM MYSELF HSDKJLSDS.

*grumbling* even though it's a very VERY good look on him, so i hope it's more on his own volition.

I just want him to feel comfortable as HIMSELF, and feel like he doesn't have to perform/conform to anything. And I think there's something very deeply queer about him and Ed BOTH going through that. They're BOTH trying to figure themselves out and what they're comfortable with and who they want to be. And I hope that, IF this is his look, it's something that HE wants entirely.

((Which makes me raise my eyebrows a bit more because of the Cunty Red Jacket. Because he's CUNT. And also his curls are more pronounced when he wears that too. SooOOOoooOOO?????? VERY interested to see what he wants, and where he comfortably settles))

AND GODDDDDD ONTO YET ANOTHER VERY EYEBROW RAISING PART LMAO.

So, we've seen that shot of someone falling into the water like 80 million times at this point. And this trailer ALSO showed an additional shot of said person SINKING into the gloom. At least, I THINK it was the same person/connected. Again, could be a total misdirect lol.

And then we've seen all the blue-tinted shots of Ed off on his own somewhere, fight someone/something all the while being accompanied by some unknown figure.

And BECAUSE of the tinting/consistent lighting, and BECAUSE of the figure accompanying him, I have to also wonder like others similarly are...

Is this a DREAM???

Is this some sort of unconscious sequence where Ed works through trauma/hurt/demons? Is that person with him the ghost of Hornigold or another significant figure from his past? And does said sequence end with him jumping from the cliff and allowing the Kraken to disappear back to the gloom???

But something that makes that whole theory SUS is the shots we've gotten of someone, presumably Ed, coming up out of the ocean. And it's not tinted blue like all of these other shots are.

So it's just hsdjkhsdjksdhskjdhsjksfs??????

Regardless, REGARDLESS, I think all of this points to Ed going on some sort of journey, some sort of bout of self-discovery and self-acceptance. I think he's going to heal parts of himself, or at least SETTLE with parts of himself, no matter the circumstances. And that would be so good because I want that so badly for him. I want him to be able to do that for himself.

...AND SPEAKING OF HEALING SHDJKSKLS

BUNNY. BUNNET. SIR THAT'S MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT STEDE BUNNET.

but omfg this is yet another case of my brain not being able to piece together timelines. because ed babe where ARE you. "BABYGIRL WHERE ARE YEEEWW..."

He looks so soft, and also has on a different ring??? An emerald/cyan looking ring??? AND THE KRAKEN RING THAT TAIKA ALWAYS WEARS HSDKJS.

So I just hsdjkhdjklsdhdjklshsjkls. "jodi you'e literally going to find out in like less than a month" I KNOW I KNOW OKAY BUT THAT DOESN'T PREVENT ME FROM GNAWING ON MY DESK FOR 18-ISH MORE DAYS HSDKJLS.

Also, as an aside, I SO very hope this leads to Fangy getting a puppy. I SO very hope that the "pets befouling the ship" clause is scratched from the rulebook PFFFF.

LOOK AT MY SWEETHEARTS HAVING FUN. LOOK AT JIM BEING UNHINGED SHDKJSS LOVE THAT FOR THEM. SERIOUS GOOSE IS BACK TO SILLY GOOSE!!! LOOK AT STEDE LOOKING LIKE A PROUD DAD. THIS IS THE SHIT I'M HERE FOR!!!

also hi hello is that archie. dO YOU THINK ARCHIE WANTS M-(GUNSHOTS)

i'll just be in the corner sobbing over being attracted to so many of these damn pirates. like, it's an Issue

...mmMMMMMM ONLY FOR ME TO TRANSITION RIGHT BACK INTO ANGST TERRITORY LMAO. BECAUSE STEDE, DARLING, WHAT IS THAT INJURY???

I've seen people theorize it's a stab wound, a bullet wound, or some sort of wound that was burned/cauterized. Either way, EITHER WAY, OUCH??? CAN MY DARLING PLEASE KNOW PEACE HSDJKSDKL

Also again, this all plays back into my theory that they're having a party, only to get crashed by some sort of navy personal or another pirate bounty hunter of some variety. And Stede gets captured/tortured.

*Banging pots and pans together* WHEEEEERE ARE WE IN THE TIMELINE WHERE ARE WE IN THE TIMELINE WHERE ARE WE HSDJKLSHDLKS

Same shirt, but has his EARRING. And is BATTLING A SHIT TON OF PEOPLE. So I would assume this comes AFTER the party fiasco, but also jsjshdjkshlJKHDKLS????

Also the CONCERN on his face is so striking. It makes me wonder if he's looking at Ed. ESPECIALLY because—

SAME BEACH, SAME BATTLE??? SEPARATED BY THE PARTY FIASCO AND ARE NOW FIGHTING TO GET TO ONE ANOTHER?????

But two things about this shot. Well, three, if you count me absolutely FOAMING at the mouth at getting to see Ed battle because hsdjhsjkhsdjkls bARK,,,

One, his sword is bloody. Love that for him. King shit. Slicing and dicing.

BUT TWO, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HE APPEARS TO BE HOLDING HIS RIGHT SIDE. NOT THE LEFT SIDE WHERE HE'S BEEN STABBED LIKE 12+ TIMES, BUT THE RIGHT.

HE GETS INJURED??? DO THEY BOTH GET INJURED?????? DAVID I KNOW WE HAVE LIKE 18+ DAYS LEFT BUT I'M DYING OVER HERE HSDJKSLDS

oh hi izzy lmao the way i did not expect the hardest line in the trailer to come from him.

"You don't know the first thing about piracy. It's not about glory, it's about belonging to something."

God. GOD. I really feel like he's going to end up surprising me so much this season lmao.

((BECAUSE NOT TO MENTION, THE FACT THAT HE'S TALKING TO RICKY, AND IT JUST SEEMS,,, 👀))

oh god y'all lmao. want to see how loud i can scream. because, i missed this my first few watches, and didn't even notice until it was later pointed out in people's posts, but,,,

LUCIUS!!! L U C I U S!!!!!! MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND LUCIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEARD, WOODEN FINGER, AND ALL.

MY DARLING. MY GUY. MY BESTIE!!!!!!!

Listen, I was like 99.9999999999999999% sure he was alive okay lol. Because NARRATIVELY, he had to be. NARRATIVELY, I think his death would have sent things into irreparable places. Also, silly little pirate rom/com; Y'ALL CAN'T KILL OFF ONE OF THE MOST BELOVED CHARACTERS LMAO LIKE NO WAY.

But regardless, I'm so happy to see him. I'm SO so happy to see him. AND I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HIM REUNITE WITH PETE, AS WELL AS SEE HIS REAL AWKWARD INTERACTIONS WITH ED, I'M SURE HSDJKS

Obligatory Wee John in drag mention/shoutout. Because come on now. COME ON NOW. HE'S FUCKING SERVING. ABSOLUTELY SLAYING. THAT BLUE LOOKS SO SO FUCKING GOOD ON HIM TOO. AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY FOR KRISTIAN AS WELL LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

Annnnnnd Obligatory Tealoranges mention/shoutout because goodness, look at them. LOOK at them. LOOK HOW SOFT JIM LOOKS. LOOK HOW SWEET THEY ARE. I'M EATING MY ARM!!!

*Baywatch Theme starts playing*

But okay okay what are we thinking:

Training montage/sequence? Or romantic moment?

STEDE'S ROCKY MOMENT LMAO, OR STEDE'S ROMANTIC HERO MOMENT. RUNNING TO GET GAINS, OR RUNNING TO GET HIS MAN.

OOOOOOO BITCH LMAO. OOOOOOOOOOOO BITCH. *RUBS HANDS TOGETHER*

and also snorting at ed's eyes because, just when i think they can't get any bigger,,, just when i think he can't possibly get even More Eyes than usual,,,

But okay hi hello WOWZERS this sequence. This one REALLY has my brain churning.

And I'm subsequently in the camp of thinking that this is very very soon after their reunion, if not their REUNION PROPER. I'm sort of leaning more towards the former, because something tells me they'd want to keep their reunion proper a secret/save it, since it'll likely be a very pivotal moment.

But regardless, SOMETHING SOMETHING SEASON 1 EP3 MIRROR? STEDE FINDS ED INJURED AND WATCHES OVER HIM???? I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW HYPE THAT WOULD MAKE MEEEEE HURT/COMFORT AND PARALLELS MY BELOVED!!!

Because Ed is DEFINITELY injured. Blood on the side of his head, various cuts and bruises across his face, etc etc. And Stede looks very Concerned when he calls his name. So I'm just 👀

Not to mention also, Ed seems VERY out of it. His eyes are wide/glazed-looking in all of the subsequent shots. And his first reaction is to headbutt Stede away shdkjshdkjs.

So again, the theory that it's right around their reunion seems very plausible, based upon reactions and outfits and the like. BUT WHO KNOWS.

also, for the record, still sobbing at how stede keeps his arm protectively draped over ed during these shots,,,

AND *RUBS HANDS OVER THIS ONE TOO*

,,,and maybe also *wipes tears away* because he just looks so SERENE. he looks so CALM. i have to wonder if this is after a pivotal moment in his healing, be it from his own realizations, an intimate conversation with stede, or both.

i just hope he's legitimately feeling better right here because i want that for him. i want that SO bad for him. I WANT THE WORLD FOR HIM!!!

Annnnnnnd ending it off with this shot because omfg. Three things.

One, JACKIE AND ED GIRLS NIGHT REAL,,,

Two, Ed trying something "different" has me sobbing and throwing up. He just wants to be comfortable. He just wants to be HIMSELF. He just wants to stop PERFORMING AND MASKING.

Three, THE SWEDE AND JACKIE LMAO??? SWACKIE??? THE SWEDE LOOKING SO INCREDIBLY HOT??? THEY WERE NOT LYING WHEN THEY SAID EVERYONE WAS GOING TO BE HOT SHDJKSD

anyway, if you made it this far, then bless you and your resilience LMAO. but also if you made it this far, you're probably just as excited as i am. like, after this trailer, after seeing all of our darlings and seeing the silliness and seeing the interactions...

idk, i'm just feeling THAT much happier. i'm feeling THAT much more confident in our showrunners/cast/crew. and i cannot WAIT to continue feeling happy with all of y'all <3

18 DAYS AND COUNTING. CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HOW WRONG I AM LMAOOOO <333

[talonabraxas]

Shirdal 'Lion-Eagle' Talon Abraxas

Ancient origins of the griffin

A legendary creature with the body, tail, and back legs of a lion, the head and wings of an eagle, and, sometimes, an eagle's talons as its front feet first appears in ancient Iranian and Egyptian art dating back to before 3000 BCE. In Egypt, a griffin-like animal can be seen on a cosmetic palette from Hierakonpolis, known as the "Two Dog Palette", dated to 3300–3100 BCE. The divine storm-bird, Anzu, half man and half bird, associated with the chief sky god Enlil was revered by the ancient Sumerians and Akkadians. The Lamassu, a similar hybrid deity depicted with the body of a bull or lion, eagle's wings, and a human head, was a common guardian figure in Assyrian palaces.

In Iranian mythology, the griffin is called Shirdal, which means "Lion-Eagle." Shirdals appeared on cylinder seals from Susa as early as 3000 BCE. Shirdals also are common motifs in the art of Luristan, the North and North West region of Iran in the Iron Age, and Achaemenid art. The 15th century BCE frescoes in the Throne Room of the Bronze Age Palace of Knossos are among the earliest depictions of the mythical creatures in ancient Greek art. In Central Asia, the griffin image was later included in Scythian "animal style" artifacts of the 6th–4th centuries BCE.

In his Histories, Herodotus relates travelers' reports of a land in the northeast where griffins guard gold and where the North Wind issues from a mountain cave. Scholars have speculated that this location may be referring to the Dzungarian Gate, a mountain pass between China and Central Asia. Some modern scholars including Adrienne Mayor have theorized that the legend of the griffin was derived from numerous fossilized remains of Protoceratops found in conjunction with gold mining in the mountains of Scythia, present day eastern Kazakhstan. Recent linguistic and archaeological studies confirm that Greek and Roman trade with Saka-Scythian nomads flourished in that region from the 7th century BCE, when the semi-legendary Greek poet Aristeas wrote of his travels in the far north, to about 300 CE when Aelian reported details about the griffin - exactly the period during which griffins were most prominently featured in Greco-Roman art and literature. Mayor argues that over-repeated retelling and drawing or recopying its bony neck frill (which is rather fragile and may have been frequently broken or entirely weathered away) may have been thought to be large mammal-type external ears, and its beak treated as evidence of a part-bird nature that lead to bird-type wings being added. Others argue fragments of the neck frill may have been mistook for remnants of wings.

Lucius Flavius Philostratus (170 – 247/250 CE), a Greek sophist who lived during the reign of the Roman emperor Philip the Arab, in his "Life of Apollonius of Tyana" also writes about griffins that quarried gold because of the strength of their beak. He describes them as having the strength to overcome lions, elephants, and even dragons, although he notes they had no great power of flying long distances because their wings were not attached the same way as birds. He also described their feet webbed with red membranes. Philostratus says the creatures were found in India and venerated there as sacred to the sun. He observed that griffins were often drawn by Indian artists as yoked four abreast to represent the sun.

[dramioneasks]

New Year’s Day Fics (2024):

Glitter On The Dance Floor by wantsgmarie, WritexAboutxMe - E, one-shot - Following the events of You're My Home , Hermione gets her wish, and Draco escorts her to his Mother's annual New Year's Eve Gala. -or- They torment Lucius, drink champagne, dance and then fuck. Happy New Year's my loves. This story can be entirely read and enjoyed on its own, but the beginning does reference the events of part 1.

A Bottle of Blotson's by thepotterfamily - E, WIP - A little Christmas tale in which Hermione and Draco are workaholics spending the holidays in the Ministry halls together, but separate. In which Draco steals Hermione’s ink and makes up for it with the best gift she’s ever received. In a world where Draco is Hermione’s golden boy and Hermione is Draco’s saving grace, please enjoy my ten-part Christmas tale that is really more of a New Years Eve story. Eventually NSFW.

The Library Liaison by UltramarineOrchid - E, WIP - When Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy realise they’ll need to ring in the New Year by fake-dating, they think that’s just what comes with the job. Little do they know that they’re going to get far more than they bargained for.

New Years Past by magicalsydney (magicandmanuscripts) - G, one-shot - Five years of monumental New Years’ Eves for Hermione and Draco.

A New Year, Together by oceanxpoppy - E, one-shot - She was not fine. She could admit that. She hadn’t been fine in months, if she was honest with herself. It’s something she rarely was anymore, but the exhaustion of the evening had stripped her bare, and all that was left was the feeling she most abhorred; longing. A longing for a man who wanted absolutely nothing to do with her.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? by Granger_Danger1234321 - not rated, one-shot - Draco and Hermione are the only single ones left out of their friend group. Draco proposes a fake dating arrangement to get them through the holiday season. Just a silly, fluffy holiday fic with a fake dating trope.

Raise a Toast by MarinaJune - M, one-shot - It's the cusp of a new year, and Draco Malfoy is finally ready to take the next step forward away from his grief and his pining. Ahead of him stands Minister Granger-Weasley. Recently-divorced. The centre of attention in a crowd high on hope and celebration.

ringing in the new year by moscovit - M, one-shot - Hermione hates parties, especially intimate ones. When she gets an invitation to Blaise Zabini's New Year's party, she's got no excuse not to go. But Blaise's girlfriend, Ginny, is kind of an ex friend now after a very public breakup with Ron, and they haven't spoke in weeks. This is the story of semi anti social Hermione suffering through a party with a group of friends she doesn't feel like she belongs with.

Midnight wish by Katibugg3 - not rated, one-shot - Hermione is attending the Malfoy's New Years Eve gala alone. Thank God for the expensive wine Draco always has for her.

New Year's Resolutions by arborlibrary - M, one-shot - Hermione had not seen him since the day she’d originally been dragged into his manor and tortured by Bellatrix, while he’d just watched. She’d always wondered if he’d ever make an appearance, after six years of absolutely detesting her at Hogwarts. But he never had, and none of the others had ever mentioned him, either. And he was alone. “Granger,” he finally whispered, remaining on his side of the locked gate. She cautiously approached, though still stayed out of reach. “What do you want?” she rasped, trying to remember how long it had even been since she’d last spoken. Now she was close enough to watch his throat bob as he gulped. “It’s New Year’s Eve.”

Can I Be Yours? by Wanderingfair - E, 2 chapters - “Stop stalling.” She laughed. “Right.” he confirmed, “I’m off to have a dastardly time bashing around Londo- oh, wait, no, I’m off to go meet the gold-digger Mum set me up with,” he snapped. “I get those two confused all the time.” “Go,” she urged, tucking her mouth into the sleeve of her jumper to hide her smile. “I’ll be up reading when you get home.” “You’ll be asleep on the library sofa and we both know it.” He winked, before closing the door. OR Hermione is forced to watch her best friend Draco Malfoy go on dates and finally confront the fact that she doesn't just love him, she is in love with him.

Draco Malfoy's Five Step Plan to Being Forgettable by OneEqualTemper - E, one-shot - Five times Draco said, “New year, new me!” and one time Hermione said, “But I like the old you.”

things that have never been by ohthedrarry - E, one-shot - 31 December 2009 – Draco finds himself sitting alone at a bar, much like he had in December 1999, bringing in the New Year with a glass of whiskey and a sense that this next decade won’t be any better than the last. Until Hermione Granger wanders in with mascara smudged under her eyes, demanding a dry martini.

make a wish by thatblondebitvh - M, one-shot - Theodore Nott's New Year's experiment goes wrong. Chaos ensues.

That One Night That Draco And Theo Sent A Message by allyseisfalling - E, one-shot - It's New Years Eve night and Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott decide to go hunting.

Zero O'Clock by forestknifefight - G, one-shot - “You,” Malfoy begins, drawing Hermione’s attention again. He still isn’t looking at her, favoring the book now held in both hands. His mouth drops open like he’s afraid to speak. “I…?” She prompts him to continue. She lets her arm relax against the table, her quill nearly falling from her hand. His mouth shuts momentarily. He inhales through his nose but still does not look up at her. “You aren’t celebrating.”

Happy New Year Draco Malfoy by MissusB - E, one-shot - After going through the emotional constipation of gifting Hermione his love all December, he finally gets to tell her in person. Even better, he gets to show her as they agree to spend New Year's evening together and maybe start a new tradition together.

[yuurei20]

Hello Yuurei! Hope you having a good day/night!

Is there any canon indication that Lucius is Treins familiar?

If there is, then can a dog be considered a familiar? I am confused about the animal/pet/familiar/dire beast thing in twisted.

Like, are the bats of Lilia canonically his familiars? I believe you posted that no, it wasn’t. Or it was someone else that records Twst info, I don’t remember the name tho, srry.

Where is the line between Familiar and Pet? Is it because the animal has a certain level of magic or sentience?

Because. Crows as familiars? Makes sense, they are naturally very smart and are scary in their own right. Cats? Yeah makes sense, they are natures human manipulator with their cuteness.

I am willing to bet jumping spiders can be familiars, for their size, they are pretty darn smart. And are just the Cutest!!! Jamil would be terrified if Yuu actually was a beast tamer with many familiars and send spiders to haunt him.

If you are able to respond, thank you very much. If not, it’s okay, I really don’t want to put more questions about info you so carefully craft and analyze.

Because god damn, you make GODS work along side many other blogs to translate and give your own analysis of characters that I just. (⊙_⊙)(°ロ°) ! Cant express with words.

Hello hello!! Thank you so much for this question! You are very much too kind m(_ _)m And I love your amazing ideas!

We do have canonical confirmation that Lucius is Trein's familiar!

2. Dog familiars might not be mentioned in the game? But they were mentioned by Yana! In a tweet from earlier this year she said,

"In the early stages of (Kalim's) character design he had a small monkey for a familiar. Other students had their own direbeasts or familiars as well, including owls, penguins, puppies, etc."

And the lines between pets / familiars / direbeasts are a very interesting point!

While Trein himself says that Lucius is his familiar, when Rook asks if Lucius is Trein's pet Trein says yes, and then calls himself Lucius' owner.

Whereas Trein seems devoted to Lucius, Lucius has been bought off at least once, intentionally hiding from Trein in a scheme with Ruggie and getting paid in tuna for his cooperation.

When Crowley calls Grim a familiar Grim insists he would never serve a human, so it seems the Twst interpretation of a familiar involves a degree of servitude? Perhaps Lucius participating in Animal Linguistics classes for Trein is a part of their familiar/owner arrangement? (not confirmed in game)

While Riddle never directly calls Grim a familiar he does say that, without his magic, he is "naught but a pet cat" (Grim denies being anyone's pet anything).

What direbeasts are seems equally vague in the game, and most of what we know possibly comes from Idia in Book 6.

He explains that Grim is a direbeast with high blot density that has been magically fused with "some kind of animal." (In a separate scene he explains that he has heard of "ultra rare cases where (phantoms) manage to blend in with direbeasts," which seems like it may be leading to something? But maybe not!)

Overall the pet/familiar/direbeast borders seem a little blurry, and Grim has been labeled as all three at different times by different people. And that's not all!

Grim is also referred to as a monster as early as the Prologue, with the characters using the English word "monster" (as can be heard in the audio), which might be connecting back to a theory related to Ortho.

And in Book 6 Crowley, audibly, calls Grim a monster, but the word "direbeast" has been included as a hidden meaning. So is the game using the words "monster" and "direbeast" interchangeably? Or is this meant to be a reference to how we don't really know what Grim is yet? Or does Crowley actually know he is a direbeast, but is still calling him a monster?

And another interesting point arose in the official English-language translation of the Heartlabyul manga: Grim originally calls himself "a man who will become a great mage" (in both the manga and the game), but I don't think the kanji used (男) is meant to be confirming that Grim considers himself human. The English language is more limited (man = humankind or male human), which is probably why the EN server had Grim call himself a "spellcaster," instead.

But the manga is being localized by a different company (VIZ Media) and they wrote this line as, "I am a monster who will become a great mage," in what might be the only instance of Grim choosing a label for himself (but I still need to check the rest of his in-game dialogue to be absolutely sure).

3. The "bats = Lilia's familiars" theory was not me! :> This is my first time hearing it, and while it seems entirely possible, I have not come across anything in the game to confirm or deny it yet!

While Lilia's bat motifs seem to have been largely inspired by a bat-based goon of Malficent's from the animated Sleeping Beauty movie, I occasionally see conversations about why, out of all the motifs available for Yana to choose from, did she go with that one in particular?

The best explanation I have found (and this is unofficial), was: it might be a pun. In Japanese, the word for bat (コウモリ) is pronounced very similarly to 子守, which is close in meaning to "babysitting."

(Yana is a very big fan of puns and wordplay and it comes up a lot in her work, i.e., the Broom/Bloom Birthday series).

4. You might be right that the difference between the three has something to do with sentience and magical ability! Idia comments on both after declaring that Grim is a direbeast, but if "pets" are at the lower end of the "sentient/magical" scale, for example, I am not sure how they differentiate between direbeasts and familiars in the Twst universe. Those who are willing to enter into servitude vs. those who are not? (This is purely conjecture)

5. I love your idea about jumping spiders! Spiders seem largely absent from the game, but they also do not really come up in too many Disney movies (I think?), so that might be why!

Thank you again for this question! I apologize for only offering more questions in response--this is all so interesting to think about!

[arsenicflame]

ok leaked 2x01 clip observation post

(watch the clip here)

God. Izzy looks completely wrecked in this- hes scruffy and his hairs not slicked back properly he just looks. tired.

EVERYONE LOOKS SO COOL THOUGH

i want to know WHY he stutters there- what was he going to say instead?

for me, the way fang asks izzy how hes doing is not just a sign that things have gotten so bad, but it implies prior emotional connection. fang had to be the one to breach this conversation because he Knows Izzy (perhaps the others were too nervous to start because the situation is Obviously tense, but fang knows him) idk thats what i get from it.

'dont help me, dont help me' izzy sweetheart :( they are your friends.

the way jim says 'unhealthy relationship with blackbeard' sounds like they were coached, like they were repeating something someone else said. i love two unemotional assholes trying their best. unhealthy relationship is such a frenchieism to me i can just imagine jim noting it down in their journal like. 'good wording. practice saying it a few more times. toxic??????'

i believe theyre called archie and i love them so much. lesbianism hours.

rhino horn i assume is a drug? hm.

'hes cut off at least two more of your toes, hasnt he?' HOLY SHIT

the way frenchie says that is like. it wasn't infection or an accident its purposeful. they KNOW something is happening. ed Took two more toes. at least, that they know of. how do they know??? are they listening? can they hear his screams? is he asking for medical help from them? rotating round them all so no one person knows just how bad it is? (but theyre talking. theyre talking to each other now. about him, theyre worried)

maybe his first really did heal fine and it was a later infection. maybe. maybe ed took the whole leg. on purpose. whats izzy been doing to 'make ed do this'- did ed even anything to justify it? was he protecting the crew? smuggling rations to lucius? at best he was disobeying orders, but given their reactions it obviously wasnt anything that endangered anyone- imo he would have been looking out for them (maybe that why he is instructing them to throw away loot. hes protested that one too many times)

the way he immediately starts crying at that too. its like. hes been thinking all these things for a while and didn't want to say it out loud, or was thinking it was all on him and that he deserved it- but then someone comments out loud its not a good situation and he just. thats his oh moment and he falls apart.

IZZY GETS A HUG

god a fang hug looks so good- even when hes obviously trying to respect izzy being uncomfortable it

the way he is desperately trying to hold back sobbing- like if he breaks apart now he knows its the end, he will never be able to put himself back together. he needs to remain strong remain put together, he will never survive otherwise. it doesnt even really feel like hes trying not to cry because its weakness, not appropriate of him anymore, its simply that he cant afford to.

also making unconscious noises when uncomfortable. me 🤝 izzy autistic bitches. (this is only to me)

JIM IS SO UNCOMFRTABLE ALSO (and archie?) god. i desperately want happy izzy & jim dynamics i think they would work SO good, neither of them want to touch an emotion with a ten foot pole wtf please get jim out of there and a knife in their hand.

god. god. theres so much here. the crew dynamics. izzy found family canon confirmed i love it so much. this is everything ive ever wanted izzys getting love! hes getting a good arc! hes making allies and friends and they care about him!!!! theyre worried about him!!!!!!

god. i was already so excited for season 2 but this is everything to me. i just know this is going to be so good. i have SO much faith

[izzyspussy]

My Izzy BINGO Fills Masterlist

At Capacity: Ed/Izzy(/Frenchie) + Ooh, Daddy Blackbeard calls Frenchie into his cabin while he's... doing stuff to Izzy. It's a test. There's no right answer. Rated E.

Our Love Is God: Ed/Izzy + Summer Izzy was the Other Woman first. Rated M.

another kind of love: Ed/Izzy + Biting Ed wakes up from the nightmare in Stede's arms. He knows in reality it's just his own sweat, but he feels like he still has Izzy's blood on his hands, dripping down his face where Izzy in the dream had touched him for the last time. Rated T.

A Lot To Unpack: Izzy & The Crew + Secrets The crew finally get a chance to Talk It Through, like Izzy wanted. Sort of. Rated T.

Plan to Entangle: Frenchie/Izzy + Matelotage When the crew insists despite Ed's violent protestations that love is real - Izzy's love, in particular - he demands one of them make the ultimate sacrifice to prove it.

my lamb and martyr (this will be over soon): Ed/Izzy + Stripping Izzy gives Edward another piece of himself. At request. Rated M.

Among Thieves: Lucius/Izzy(/Ed/Pete) + Possessive Sex When Ed tries to ask Izzy if he still loves him but chickens out and asks if he still belongs to him instead, Izzy gets understandably pissed and suggests to Lucius that since pushing Ed overboard didn't make him feel better he should try stealing from him. Specifically, he should take something Ed hasn't properly appreciated having. Like Izzy. Rated E.

Would you light my candle?: Stede/Izzy + Wax Play When Stede accidentally spills candlewax on Izzy, his first pirating lesson becomes a kink lesson instead. Rated E.

Sang About In Songs: Izzy/The Crew + Face Fucking Lucius sounds scandalized but very, very happy about it when he demands, "Hang on, was that Izzy?" "Sure was," Frenchie confirms, not looking away from Izzy either. Izzy licks his lips again, more deliberately this time. Frenchie sets aside his lute. "Feeling good, Boss?" "Could feel better," Izzy rasps, spreading his legs in invitation. Rated E

View the Full Collection on AO3 ->

[berglietz]

Seasons Greasons: A Meta Analysis based on Caspar's Culinary Palate + Return Gift For Shez's Whistle

AKA: no one should ever 'jokingly' challenge me to write a meta to my irl face. take these 1k words now

THE BACKSTORY:

May 6th, Baltimore Inner Harbor. It was a lovely day—by which I mean the sky was grey and gloomy and decided to start spitting a fine mist down from the clouds as soon as Lucius and I stepped out of the light rail and started our trek toward our destination. Our destination being a birthday celebration for Erica, which obviously made the day lovely regardless of the weather. At this point we had already gotten past the 'hello's and reciprocal 'oh god you really are shorter than i remember's, and had settled into our table at the cafe. Inevitably, the conversation quickly turned to Fire Emblem. We are who we are.

Playthroughs of Warriors: Three Hopes entered the scene, and then discussions of the Merc Whistle mechanic. "I haven't given mine away yet." I said. "Don't they give you a return gift that you can wear as an accessory to use their special ability?"

I pulled out my phone. I learned that Caspar's return gift to Shez was called Seasoning Set. Across the table, past the strangely shaped flasks of hot water and growing number of drained shirley temple glasses, N "Njamin" Von TOAmod smiled at me and said "I expect a meta post about Caspar's seasoning set on the dash by [due date]*" *I do not remember the exact phrasing, nor the initial due date. I am going to say it was 'next month', that way I don't get any of my extremely real roleplayer points docked for tardiness.

And thus, I was committed to the bit. Straight up married to it. Welcome to the wedding. The reception is catered, obviously, and we'll be serving—

Well. I'm getting to that.

THE SEASONING SET

(This is a crunchy screenshot that I cropped myself from my own Switch. Forgive me)

The details of note to me are:

Clarifying that you have matched your bestie/S-support equivalent's sentimental gift with something you "don't need" is so rude LMFAO. I'm glad he is keeping up the same behavior from his story about a girl trying to ask him out to the Goddess Tower in Three Houses where he seems to totally misread a situation and make an ass of himself by dismissing the person/not matching their energy. Really beautiful stuff.

Multiple spices, you say? Looks like I have to come up with more than one. It's not just salt in there.

CASPAR'S COOKING SKILLS

They are bad. He has a big red downward-facing arrow next to his face in the list of candidates for cooking together in Three Houses. If you choose to let him cook anyway, he tells you his pitfalls himself:

"All right! Leave it to me! I'll fry it, grill it, and try not to burn it!" / "Sorry for making you do all the work, Professor. I mess up the ingredients every time!"

With this info, I am taking the text saying "he forgets to use spices" very literally. The impression I get is he gets so overwhelmed by multi-step cooking processes that he loses track of ingredients. He does like some spices in his food and drink, though, so I will presume that the spices in his seasoning set are ones that he would enjoy putting in his food if he ever remembered to toss them in.

THE FAVORED FLAVORS

The easiest spice choice comes directly from his favorite type of tea.

Ginger Tea: "The sharp spiciness of ginger laces the body of this tea, unforgettable and brightening."

Bam. Right there. We can put ginger on the list. For the rest, I'll take a look at the dining hall dishes he likes that fall under the Spicy category.

Sauteed Jerky: "Jerky aged in the monastery and sautéed for a delightfully salty flavor. A perfect snack to go with your favorite drink."

The description doesn't give me any seasoning beyond salt, but according to the resources on serenesforest this dish is counted as a spicy one! When I think of spicy jerky (and look up a few recipes to confirm my memories) I think of a peppery sort of sensation on the tongue—black pepper and cayenne (or other hot peppers).

Sauteed Pheasant and Eggs: "Thin slices of bird meat and shredded cabbage, mixed with scrambled eggs and sautéed with spices. Invention of a certain noble."

This one gave me no hints as to what types of spices. RIP. I relied much more heavily on googling for this one, and settled on interpreting this dish as a take on anda bhurji, maybe?? (literally 'scrambled egg'. it's an Indian scrambled egg dish). Online recipes for this one gave me spices such as turmeric, coriander, red chili, and ginger.

THE SEASONING LIST

Just to have it all in one place, here's all the hypothetical seasonings I've thrown out all put together:

Salt

Black Pepper

Ginger (mentioned x2!!)

Cayenne/Red Chili (or whatever Fodlan equivalent capsacin-haver there might be)

Turmeric

Coriander

Go forth, Shez. Make a delicious spicy scrambled egg dish. Perhaps you can share it with friends for brunch. That'd be a beautiful way to bring things full circle, don't you think?

BONUS: MY BOY HATES FISH

I just think it's so fucking funny that he hates every seafood dish. Look at this list of foods he hates.

Grilled Herring, Fish and Bean Soup, Small Fish Skewers, Spicy Fish and Turnip Stew, Onion Gratin Soup, Sweet and Salty Whitefish Sauté, Fruit and Herring Tart, Cheesy Verona Stew, Fish Sandwich, Super-Spicy Fish Dango, Pickled Seafood and Vegetables, Two-Fish Sauté, Gautier Cheese Gratin, Cabbage and Herring Stew, Bourgeois Pike, Fried Crayfish

Only three out of this list don't have something referencing fish/seafood right in the name, and two out of those three do have fish in the ingredients if you go looking:

Onion Gratin Soup: "Onions stewed with white trout and baked with a layer of cheese on top. Will warm you up from the inside out." Cheesy Verona Stew: "A rich dish consisting of verona and sautéed Teutates loach. These ingredients are boiled and served with two kinds of melted cheese."

Maybe there is something he dislikes about gratin, though, since he dislikes Gautier Cheese Gratin as well. A texture problem, perhaps? Either way, it doesn't feel as prominent a dislike as his thing with fish—the guy also hates the Fishing Float gift. Caspar is a certified fish hater. This makes his participation in the fishing tournament even funnier to me: he will straight up make an exception for his seeming disdain for fishing if it's turned into a competition he can try to win. Definitely no way he was eating his catch though. Maybe he fed it to his cat friend from his supports with Ashe, lmfao

Anyhow, I'll leave off with this silly indulgent little meta here. Thanks for playing along! ilu toa ❤

[sinfulsunni]

guys I don’t know how to phrase this but. you know lucius spriggs’ whole “have you ever been sketched?” bit?? that he uses to rizz people up???? well. insane thing is I can now confirm with 100% confidence that it fucking works, guys. I thought it was just a funny bit from a comedy show but oh my god it’s real. don’t ask me how I know just. wow. the artist rizz is a real thing this is so funny to me

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! thoughts pt. 14

we’re nearing the end yall and i’m getting HELLA nervous. five chapters left. and reg is gonna die. i’m not ready

chapter 34:

1. the mulciber swap went perfect. still nervous though

2. the heist is almost over. and they’re all splitting up to go places. i don’t think i can handle this

3. god, it’s the lucius swap. i don’t think it’s gonna go well. i’m so worried

4. “Regulus cleared his throat. “I just want to say that it had been a privilege and an honour to conduct this heist with all of you. Each of you are brilliant individuals and I couldn’t have asked for a better team.”” sobbing so badly rn. horrifically sobbing. oh my god. the death must be this chapter. it feels all like a final goodbye, and it probably is for reg

5. reg wants to fix his relationship with sirius over a hundred cups of coffee. that sounds so nice

6. reg is looking forward to attending sirius and remus’ wedding! and he’s surprised that sirius wants him there. this. this all feels so foreboding

7. god. they’re face to face with tom riddle. this isn’t gonna end well. i can feel it

8. it was a set up. all reg gets to say is “james run” and then there’s bullets. i almost don’t want to read the rest of the chapter. i don’t even think i’m gonna cry. just quiet resignation. i will be fine. i fucking called it last post tho, saying it would be tom riddles fault.

9. oh gosh. reg is dying right there on the floor, blood pooling in his lungs and he’s telling james not to be scared

10. i was a fool. of course i’m sobbing. i sent my freind a two minute long voice recording while sobbing about how sad i was over the death. they can confirm, though i’m not asking them to

11. reg gives james his ring. oh fuck

12. dying by tom riddles’ hands. drowning in his own blood. of course he dies by drowning

13. on another note, i’m sure that james’ gun kink is very much gone

14. “It wasn’t the amount of blood that had accumulated all over the floor that convinced James that Regulus was dead.

Or the fact that Regulus had stopped the gurgling and wheezing noises several minutes ago as he drifted into cruel stillness.

It wasn’t Barty’s tear stained and blood splattered face. Or Evan’s desperate attempts to shake Regulus awake. It wasn’t even Peter’s sorrowful look upon checking for a pulse. Or his frantic attempts to do CPR anyway.

It was Sirius’ agonised wails as he pleaded and called out to a God he never believed in to spare his brother. To bring him back. “I just got him back,” Sirius screamed. “I just got him back. Please. Don’t do this. Please bring him back. I just got him back.””

this fucking fic i swear to god

15. everyone else is dead, thanks to evan and barty. for once, i agree with their unhinged. it was a slaughter of men on the other side, and i am glad. they are dead, and they don’t even deserve it. they deserve a life of torture for what they did. thank fucking god they’re dead tho. it makes me rest easy

they were supposed to get a house with green or red shutters and get married and travel the world and make tea and orange muffins and snog in art museums and visit their freinds and be happy and in love and never live a mundane life cause they’re rich and together. but NO. it has to all get ruined

im not okay, thank you for asking. i will never be okay, thank you for asking. i never want to be okay again, stop asking.

[forpiratereasons]

meeting stede bonnet

a slow meandering through June. prompt eight: family

day 1 | day 2 | day 3 | day 4 | day 5 | day 6 | day 7 | day 8 | day 9 | day 10

-

Stede Bonnet was having a very good morning. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. He had a great pin on today: a rose, in rainbow colours.

And he’d woken up with Ed, sleep-soft and warm and drowsy in his arms.

Hard to beat that. It didn’t even matter that Stede was running late to work. Because Ed Teach was a snuggler, and was not bothered in the least by morning breath when kisses were involved, and was really enthusiastic about the idea that a thing worth doing was a thing worth doing twice.

Yes, it was a very good morning.

“Good morning, crew!” Stede called out as he entered the bookshop. He shook a box of sorry-I’m-late pastries at the staff currently hovering around the check-out counter. “Hello, morning!”

Roach clapped Oluwande on the shoulder and said, inexplicably, “Nope. Nope, this is not for me, not today,” before he shuffled off.

Frenchie followed with an apologetic smile. “I’d love to stick around for this,” he said, “but I really don’t want to.”

Stede frowned. He looked back at Oluwande, who sighed, resignedly, and Lucius, who—“Lucius, you weren’t on the schedule today.”

“I’m not actually here,” Lucius said quickly.

“Yes, you are. I can see you.”

“That’s not really what he meant,” Oluwande said. He blew out another breath, closed his eyes for a moment, then said, in a not-at-all-convincingly casual tone, “So, Stede. Have a good—night? Last night?”

“Plan B?” Lucius whispered to him, before Stede could respond.

“Absolutely Plan B,” Oluwande confirmed, with considerable relief. Lucius patted the counter and disappeared.

“As a matter of fact,” Stede said, determined not to let his very strange staff get in the way of his very good morning, “I did have a good night.”

He paused, waiting to see if Oluwande was going to ask him to elaborate.

“Good,” Oluwande said eventually. “Good. That’s good. I had like, just a regular night. Regular, boring old night! Pizza night. Good to have a night like that some nights.”

“’Course. Sure.”

Stede waited again. There seemed to be something they were waiting for, but—

“Right, well, thanks for the pastries,” Oluwande said suddenly, just as Stede caught sight of Lucius slipping out of the back hallway, giving two thumbs up. “Oh, um, I just remembered, I left you some invoices to check. In your office. On your desk.”

Stede didn’t usually do invoicing until Monday afternoons—always the slowest days of the week—but he snagged a pain au chocolate anyway and made his way down to his office.

He picked up the first invoice in the pile, and then found what had been tucked underneath it: a book.

The Joy of Gay Sex.

Ah, Stede thought.

For a long time, that was all he thought. He kept trying to think the next thought, the one that ought to come after it, but he just kept circling around that same one. Ah. Right.

He wandered, slightly stunned, back out to the counter, where Roach, Frenchie, Lucius, and now also Jim had materialized. Even Wee John, who was not even Stede’s employee but who belonged to Frenchie in some way or another, had taken up residence in one of the shop’s armchairs. They all looked at Stede expectantly.

Stede looked at them.

They looked at Stede.

Stede said, “I’m gay.”

“Oh, thank god,” Lucius blurted. “For a minute there I thought we’d got it wrong.”

“Just a jumping off point,” Frenchie said, rubbing Lucius’ back while he caught his breath. “The book. Some of it’s a little outdated, but it’s a classic. It’s a start.”

Surprisingly, it was Jim who added, “I emailed you some websites, too. For the more updated stuff. Read it, be safe, never talk to me about any of this again.”

“It’s a bit like—being family,” Oluwande said, and everyone nodded along with him. “We watch out for one another, when we can.”

There was something thick and rough in Stede’s throat. Something hot behind his eyes. He tried several times to think of something to say, but in the end all he could muster was a small, tight, “Thank you.”

“And if you happened to get that guy’s number,” Roach said with a sharp grin, a wicked wink, as Stede flushed instantly, “his assistant is looking for him.”

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e2 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post, not quite a liveblog. this post is gonna be unpolished and messy bc this is the only way i know to process my emotions abt these episodes enough that i can actually start talking coherently about them.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

did not notice the first time around that buttons is sleeping with his legs sticking up resting against the side of the ship. king.

WHY DID THEY USE A DIFFERENT TAKE OF THE YOU WEAR FINE THINGS WELL SCENE WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS SERVE. THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR DAYS.

oh god the face stede makes after he breathes out all wistfully is so pained... ogughuhg heartbreak......

why is the groom cake topper dirty ed were you kissing it. ed. edward.

hNNNG ed pushing the painted bride figurine closer..... im gonna throw up

ed!! rolling over and crying!!! TAIKA HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT LOOKING SO FUCKING SAD THIS SHIT HURTS ME

like i can literally feel the tears burning in his eyes. the way his chest starts shaking with sobs but he's managing to keep the sobs in for like one more second. he's trying so hard to hold it in and i've cried like this before and it physically HURTS

also oughg the song. run from me baby... run my good wife... run from me baby..... you better run for your life........ ED THINKS THAT'S WHAT STEDE DID!!! RAN AWAY FROM HIM!!!!! and he thinks that was stede running for his life bc like, he thinks he's inherently monstrous and unlovable and hnnnnnnnnngggg. ed teach go to therapy challenge.

the crew responding to zheng's wake-up bell is so relatable. me when my alarm goes off at 6am

ok so the running bit where stede's crew has never heard of China before. is kinda weird to me. and honestly it kinda runs back to what zheng said in the last episode "one thing i've learned in my time here: you people know so little" about nobody knowing how valuable indigo is. like the show is portraying your average caribbean pirate as really ignorant and only like, ed stede and fucking ricky are on par with zheng yi sao. and i mean knowledge doesnt equate to intelligence so like the indigo thing i didnt really bat an eye at but when it was played for comedy with olu not knowing how to pronounce china i was like... hm. but the season's just started so maybe im reading too much into it but idk. it's a weird writing choice to me.

loving how at the start of last season the crew almost mutinied bc stede was a soft captain but now roach is out here embracing how all of them are "tender as hell."

love how lucius and pete have their romantic reunion chat just. fully in front of an audience

stede looks. so upset. watching lupete kiss. this man misses his boyfriend so fucking bad

lucius not even trying to hide how much he Does Not want to be stuck with stede in towels

also hi the sky in this scene is so pink. it was blue when buttons was doing tai chi so i guess this is sunset. day one complete.

buttons confirmed sea witch one of the best scenes in s2 so far. intrigued by auntie saying "i have looked for you far and wide" like are there other sea witches and auntie only wanted buttons?? or is buttons literally the only sea witch in the world. i want the lore.

ed. eddie eddie edward. ed my beloved babygirl. i would fuckinggg die for you

ok but also there is literally no way frenchie didnt see ed when he walked in like ed is standing Right There. i love when directors do stuff like this tho it's so funny to me. "ok joel just walk in there and pretend like you dont see taika standing literally right in front of you"

just noticed ed was polishing the handle to the wardrobe (the main wardrobe) right there. he's tidying up. getting his affairs in order before he— *i break down into inconsolable sobbing*

i wont like tho it was very funny to me when we finally got this full scene and ed's "and no more stede" turned out to be "no more izzy." very fun for me

god i LOVE when we get pirate code shit. none of these rules ever make sense it's always just whatever works for the plot's sake. "that's the code of the sea: the new first mate always kills the old first mate. it's always been like that" i don't think it was literally ever like that i think the writers decided that making up this bullshit rule would add drama to the situation. it's like how pirates can win duels by rendering their opponent's sword inoperable (as if pirates ever had like ritualistic duels). or next episode when zheng yi sao is gonna kill them for mutinying against ed. i love how all the logistics of the plot are always some handwavy-bullshit bc the show just Does Not Care about this shit. this is the ed and stede show and everything else is just superfluous set dressing

we were all fixated on lucius living in the walls none of us predicted that it could be izzy living in the walls

"start with his leg see where it goes" frenchie what does this MEAN

archie thinking jim was asking which leg to cut off and just. answering the question genuinely. is so fucking real lmao me too girl

JIM PUTTING THEIR HAND OVER ARCHIE'S TO BRACE THEMSELF BEFORE THEY START CUTTING INTO IZZY'S LEG... the romances on this show are unparalleled

archie when izzy's leg starts gushing: aye yai yai!

stede telling everyone in laundry abt his whole romance with blackbeard. and stede telling zheng and auntie abt blackbeard when he thought they were just soup sellers. you KNOW stede's been telling literally everyone he meets abt how he's looking for his beloved ed.

lol ok but cuba was not written on the map in the one shot and then stede says "oh, hang on, he might be in cuba!" and it cuts back to the map and he underlines the word "cuba" which somehow mysteriously appeared on the map while stede was chatting. 10/10 no notes

also GOD do i relate to stede so hard sometimes. it did not even occur to stede to ask lucius how he's been until lucius points it out and then he's like "oh! right! how are you??" and he does genuinely care but he was just so absorbed in his own shit it did not occur to him to ask. like. ohhhh baby does that hit home

LUCIUS DRAMATICALLY PAUSING IN THE DOORWAY WHEN STEDE TELLS HIM TO WAIT. HIS HANDS ON EITHER SIDE OF THE DOOR AND HIS HEAD BENT. THIS FUCKING DRAMA QUEEN I LOVE HIM!!!!

LLOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER "oh, yeah. now you care?" AND THNE SHAKING HIS HEAD AS HE WALKS AWAY god i LOVE this soap opera

ok but buttons looks very confused when auntie says "i see you've adopted the humble form of a man" and then she hands him the book abt shapeshifting. like did she know that he doesnt know how to change form or what.

auntie asks buttons to bless their travels. anyway this is how stede somehow didnt get everyone killed in e1 despite the fact that they were at sea for a few months and he had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

LOVE auntie's little... yell? whimper?? before shuffling away nervously. incredible performance.

also the spellbook thing is in chinese. pretty cool how buttons knows how to read chinese.

ed jumpscare 2!

frenchie's "fire away. not literally, i hope" I MISSED THAT THE FIRST TIME KJSGHKFJDGHJHK WHAT A GREAT FUCKING LINE

love how irl frenchie using the wrong hand for that throat-slitting pantomime would be unimportant but the show acts like that's something that could actually give frenchie away bc they need to really nail home the fact that Ed Is A Fucking Genius

another thing ed is: INCREDIBLY HOT. he is being intimidating and evil to frenchie rn and i am very very into it.

obsessed with archie casually picking some random gore off her hand

also obsessed with how jim is just poking at izzy's leg. they learned how to butcher animals as a kid tho so i guess they're not really grossed out by severed body parts lmaoo

also also obsessed with how izzy would absolutely have not survived this at all. i love this show

list part 2:

ok im sorry but "he's our dick" does not feel earned to me. like they use that fantastic shot of the whole crew in episode 6 last season but what's crucial abt that shot is izzy isn't hanging out with the crew. he's sitting away in the corner monologuing abt how he thinks maybe ed might not want to kill stede.

i do think it's significant tho that jim wasn't there for izzy at his worst aka threatening to withhold rations for laughing at him. like they weren't part of the vote to mutiny against izzy. but frenchie was and frenchie was like "start with his leg see where it goes" which does not seem like he's really that invested in keeping izzy alive.

also it's weird how we don't see fang at all for this bit with hiding izzy in the walls. like he would be the one i'd expect to have the strongest connection to izzy bc he knew izzy before the show started and he was hugging and comforting izzy last episode.

anyway imo jim keeping izzy alive is more abt them missing when they were on the ship with olu and the whole crew and the ship was like a family, not necessarily abt feeling loyalty to izzy specifically. i could be wrong tho who knows.

one thing i do know is that it is VERY important to point out how jim is struggling really hard with everything, archie is not. she wasnt there for the co-captaining era at all and she seems to be rolling with everything like it's all expected. this includes the wedding raid and ed pointing a gun at her last season and stuff. even now she's mostly just confused by why jim is bothering to try and keep izzy alive. but she acts like the amputation and the violence are all what she expected.

yay kissing!! with the shit stuffed up their nose and covered in blood and jim still holding the leg GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

hnng when archie says "you have... hope" jim's jaw tenses and they visibly swallow after the word "hope." god jim is going through it

"the wooden demon boy that thirsted for life" god i love this game of telephone that the show is playing with pinocchio it's so fucking funny

archie definitely still says a few syllables after "no i was cleaning up blood" while jim was leaning in for another kiss but none of it forms a coherent word. relatable.

ed's "ohhhhohoho. ohoho" is so funny to me. this man is so jealous that other people are getting to kiss ppl they like but not him.

hm archie and jim are not actually kissing when we cut to the shot of ed standing in the stairwell. i imagine this is an editing goof or something

jim and archie pulling away like two kids who got caught kissing under the bleachers during gym class or something. incredible. one of jim's nose plug rags is mysteriously missing now. i think archie ate it.

ed shushing frenchie. nothing to say here but "i need him carnally"

"take the fuckin leg" ed does NOT like mess!!!

"he was your friend" well jim. he might have been ed's friend. but he had a very strange way of showing it.

why does it sound like ed has spurs on his boots

OLU IS SO CUTE I CANT BLAME ZHENG FOR BEING LIKE "you're doing so good at filing thanks so much!!" WHEN HE'S ACTIVELY FUCKING EVERYTHING UP

also. i want to know about auntie's filing system. ahead of it's time, you say?? tell me more. hi my name is jess and i love sorting things

ah yeah olu mispronouncing china moment

olu and zheng are cute tho ngl

roach is having an orgasmic experience drinking soup. very relatable.

love that stede called the broth "insane" like fics so often get stede's voice wrong bc he will randomly say casual slang in a way that contradicts his general s1 vibe of stuffy frilly rich guy. but he's more like your average dad whose general grammar when speaking is pretty outdated but he's also trying to use slang to fit in with his kids

oh god stede is trying so hard with lucius it is giving SUCH awkward dad vibes. "when i was young and edgy" and "mr. cool" STEEEEDE

"my spicy little rat boy" im so sad that lucius hates that pet name bc this is the funniest thing black pete's ever said

aw nooooo the way pete jumps when lucius yells at him :(:(:(

yo wee john has like a wristband with all these sewing needles and shit stuck on it that's such a cool costume detail

the first thing izzy says after waking up is "my leg" and in my head im hearing it in the spongebob meme voice

first: very funny how ed responds "yeah!" like, laughing about the whole. amputation thing. and then secondly i am obsessed with "up in Leg Heaven" he is so fucking quirky. i love him.

"have you come to take the other one" yeah you'd probably enjoy that huh izzy.

love ed's dangly earring. gender.

smthng abt how izzy is instantly exhausted and dismissive when ed tells izzy to take the gun vs how ed was also bored and dismissive when izzy said "i have love for you." idk if there's anything there im just making tenuous connections in my head rn

help. ed clenching his fists when he's standing with his back to izzy. he really wants izzy to do it but also even deeper than that he really doesn't he wants to live

izzy starts to laugh the same way he started to cry last episode with like a really loud sudden gasp of air. also he laughs so weirdly jesus christ

also jesus this is so fucking dark. i mean obviously but im fucking reeling right now from ed trying to get izzy to kill him and izzy's response is just "do it yourself you fucking pussy." fuck.

more thoughts on this scene here

"i loved you... best i could" i actually dont have a lot of thoughts abt this at all aside from it just seems like a weird thing for ed to say. idk. i have a few metas abt this saved that ive been meaning to read so maybe that will help me deconstruct this but i think i'd need more time to figure out why this line feels weird to me. it could literally just be that i dont like blackhands at all but idk. probably not gonna unpack my feelings for a while tho bc in terms of everything i want to dig into from these 3 episodes alone this is at the bottom of that list lol

love how ed tells frenchie "go live" right before he steers them into a storm and tries to doom everyone on the ship.

"two messed-up kids probably" i know this is one of those things that some viewers are just always gonna have a problem with but it's so fucking funny to me how stede is like. never seeing his children again. and is like "yeah they're probably traumatized by how i was a bad father. well that's for mary and doug to deal with!"

lucius winking when he calls stede quite the fuck-up. i love this snarky gay

anyway for how fucked up the vibe is on ed's ship at least they weren't playing human puppet or making people catch rats with their teeth

shit this is longer than the last post. anyway list part 3:

ok i completely forgot abt this scene where the crew back on the Revenge is talking in the hallway before they go confront ed but i think it's rlly interesting how jim is the only one who says anything abt how ed's sudden cheery mood is NOT a good thing. fang is like "do we think he's better?" and jim's like "fuck no!" and frenchie's like "idk he seemed pretty calm to me." like this is so fucking juicy to me. jim knew this wasn't "better." i think this is because jim kinda gets it. they know what it's like to be told you're only meant for violence. and they know what it's like to want something softer. last season i probably wouldnt have said jim understood ed's suicidal tendencies but the way jim KNOWS that this isnt better makes me wonder if they understand this, too.

altho when they go outside and ed is like "it's a bad storm! and i took the wheel! and im gonna fire into the mast! we're all gonna die!!" jim yells "what do you want, you piece of shit!" (in spanish) so maybe they dont get the suicide bit of it. but they did understand that ed wasn't better.

oh ed's voice in "what do i want?" is so whiny and sad. babygirl is fucking going through it. good thing the rain is hiding his tears ahaha. ha.

"all love dies im just hastening the process" objectively this is fucked up but also it is so funny to me that he's like "i got dumped so now nobody else is allowed to be happy and in love." he broke up all the couples at the end of s1 and he raided a fucking wedding. babygirl i love you. you are so unwell

VERY RANDOM THOUGHT and i would have to go back to last episode double check but i dont think any of the background crew are women?? it's just archie??? which kinda bums me out a bit like i dont only want female rep in the main cast i want to see random background women too. i could be entirely wrong abt this tho just in this scene i only see dudes in the background

anyway archie being like "alright i guess we're fighting" bc this is archie's normal. archie is just kinda resigned to her life being shit.

stede crossing out "dead" and circling "alive" is so fucking funny to me hfjkhdjvgdfjk like. manifesting.

but also he does kinda manifest that in the next episode doesnt he?? he loves ed back to life ahaha oh god oh fuck *starts sobbing*

"looks like he's gotten back into arson" okay and??? wee john's an arson enthusiast also, cmon lucius dont judge a man for his hobbies

stede's fucking face when he considers what lucius said abt "maybe his time with you is the best it's gonna get for him" like i think he tries to think abt it and just. cant. he cant fucking accept that. god im gonna throw up.

HNNNNG THE RUN FROM ME SONG COMING BACK IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT

i cant get over how archie is like. yeah bro it's fine. it's cool just kill me im not gonna hold it against you.

jim's like "YOU WERE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY!!" and ed's like "teehee yeah :3 u got me"

oh bro some of the random background crew people just fully go overboard huh. damn. rip those guys.

ok so im choosing to believe that izzy fired a lucky shot there bc the man couldn't even shoot himself point blank in the skull but im supposed to believe that he got ed right in the arm from the other side of the deck in the middle of a crazy storm and the ship rocking like crazy and izzy's probably suffering from like, insane amounts of blood loss?? i dont buy it. i mean it doesnt matter at all but i think he was trying to hit ed's general torso area and if ed didnt have his arm held out izzy would've missed. like i said tho this makes no fucking difference. it's just a fun little headcanon hehe

love how ed laughs like an absolute maniac here. babygirl u are so unhinged.

wait it's fucking wild how in the middle of all this we to cut to auntie putting the map back together and then we see that zheng is bringing her fleet over land. anyway this is foreshadowing obviously but like considering the song choice and cutting this between ed's suicide attempt and then the crew mutinying. is a choice. and idk why they made that choice yet.

it is a pretty dramatic reveal tho. i didnt appreciate that the first time but holy shit. she's just pulling her ships all the way to the caribbean. girlboss.

and then the mutiny. the relief on ed's face hurts me so fucking much

other thoughs about this scene here

HOLY SHIT THIS POST CREDITS SCENE AHHHHHH

so first of all. auntie saying olu can be allowed to clean up random hairs around the desk and zheng being like "there's not that much hair" girl you know you're lying. her hair is so long and so gorgeous and you KNOW random strands end up making scary-ass hair spiders if somebody doesn't regularly sweep things up

second of all: olu pretending there's a carrier bird with a messege for zeng to give her a break is SO CUTE. OLU. OLU YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART.

[straightupsickfics]

another lovesick afternoon

literally genuinely 2.5k words of modern au ed and stede being the softest grossest saps you ever did see while ed gets a cold. and i, personally, love that for them. and me. <3

****

“God, fuck, this is good, are you sure you don’t want to… well, no, probably not a good idea,” Ed says, offering Stede a sip of his iced mocha coffee and pulling it away all in one fell swoop. 

Stede pouts, though Ed knows he had no real intention of drinking it. Ed likes his coffee sweet enough to give Stede a toothache, and while Stede enjoys the occasional sweet himself, the scone he has beside him is more than enough to do the job for him. 

“Think I’m catching a cold or something,” Ed explains. He’d woken up this morning with the first twinges of a sore throat, the start of a runny nose, but had powered through a shower and felt mostly fine after some water and orange juice.

Still, Stede gives a little squeak of protest.

“You should’ve said!” Stede tells him. “I could’ve brought coffee home for us.”

Ed rolls his eyes and smiles fondly. “S’nothing yet, a little sore throat, a few sniffles, that’s all. Didn’t you drag Lucius to a concert while he was sick a few weeks ago?” 

Stede’s eyes narrow. “He wasn’t sick, for one thing, Edward, he had a hangover, and that was his own fault. And besides, it’s different…” 

Different when it’s you.

Stede doesn’t finish the thought aloud, but Ed knows what he means, and his warm, fond smile is all the confirmation Ed needs that he’s right. 

Ed lets his hand rest on Stede’s hand while they drink their coffee and eat their croissants. They hadn’t had much hope of finding a spot in the park on a morning as nice as this one, but a bench had opened up just as they’d arrived, perfect timing, and Ed had all but sprinted over to it to stop it being taken. 

“You almost took out that old woman,” Stede had admonished him between fits of laughter. 

“I did not!” 

“You’re going to be on the news! Beautiful man takes down senior citizen,” Stede had narrated in his best newscaster impression. 

Ed had snorted a laugh at this, which only made Stede laugh harder, until they were two grown men dissolving into a helpless fit of laughter on a park bench on a weekend morning. It was, honestly, a perfect morning. 

“What’s next on your list?” Ed asks now, leaning over and brushing a crumb from the corner of Stede’s mouth. 

Stede seems to falter for a minute, unsure. “Well, we don’t need to go anywhere else if you’re not feeling up to it—” He says quickly. And while he’s right, they don’t need to be anywhere. They aren’t “running errands” so much as moseying around their little town, enjoying the warmth of the day and each other’s company.

“We can just as easily do that at home,” Stede insists. 

“I’m not on my deathbed, love, seriously. You said you wanted to look at books for six or seven hours, didn’t you?” 

Stede’s still sputtering a protest as Ed gets to his feet and offers Stede his hand, laughing. 

*

Stede Bonnet really could look at books for hours on end if he was left to his own devices, and it’s kind of fucking adorable. Ed turns a corner and finally finds his husband crouched down and reading the back of a hardback book, completely lost in his own, fictional world. 

“So, you come here often?” Ed asks, voice low, mouth close to Stede’s ear. He smiles when Stede’s neck and cheeks flush a pale shade of pink in surprise. 

“Ah! Every now and then,” Stede squeaks, struggling to his feet. Ed offers him his hand and tugs him to his feet, wrapping an arm around Stede’s waist to balance him. 

It’s Stede’s favorite store, full to bursting with books on shelves and stacked in piles, full of big windows that leave the whole store entirely drenched in sun on bright sunny mornings. Like this one, with the sun hitting the blond in Stede’s hair just so and making it look like it’s made of pure sunshine. 

Stede is pure sunshine, Ed thinks to himself. They come here just about as often as they can, Ed happy enough to trail behind Stede and listen to plot summaries and debates over when to buy the hardback and when to wait for the paperback. Their shelves at home were bursting, too, but they always managed to find room. 

“Y'good?” 

Stede’s still flushed as he nods, apparently happy enough to have Ed half hold him up in the back of the store. Which is more than fine with Ed, too. 

“Look at this,” Stede says finally, holding out a book for Ed to inspect, something about Greek mythology that he’s had his eye out for. He explains the story to Ed who really does listen as best as he can, but finds himself almost immediately distracted by the animated expressions that dance across Stede’s face, the way he talks with his hands and explains every last detail… 

“Sorry, went off on a bit of a tangent,” Stede says, finally winding himself down. “You didn’t need to know all that.” He’s stuck at a crossroads between embarrassed and apologetic and Ed shakes his head, stopping it in its tracks. 

“Sure I did, fucking fascinating,” he promises. 

Stede smiles, then leans in to kiss him. “I know that’s not true, but I love you.” 

“Love you, too,” Ed says. He lets Stede guide him through the rest of the store, lets himself be talked into another black leather notebook that he definitely doesn’t need, and Stede only fusses a little when Ed has to duck to the side and cough into his elbow. His nose has started to run here and there, enough that he has to say yes to the packet of tissues Stede offers him in the car. 

“Fucking hate this time of year,” Ed grouses. “Germs everywhere, always end up coming down with something…” 

“Poor Ed,” Stede coos at him, only a hint of teasing in his voice. He lays a hand on Ed’s knee and offers to drive, but Ed just shakes his head determined to continue their day out as planned. He rubs his nose into the handful of tissues a final time before pulling out of the parking spot and onto the road. 

There’s a craft store not far from the bookstore, and Stede insists it's only fair that they pop in for Ed since they did the bookstore for so long, and Ed doesn’t have the energy (or, really, the desire) to argue. 

If Stede can spend hours looking at books, Ed could just as easily spend hours browsing yarn and textiles and fabrics, running them through his fingers and dreaming up projects, matching them to patterns he has saved across a million tabs on his phone… 

“Oh! This is a nice one, I think,” Stede says, holding up a bright yellow skein of soft, expensive yarn. “Feel that!” He holds it out for Ed enthusiastically.

It really is nice, and extra soft, perfect for the upcoming fall season. Ed does like to make Stede a sweater every year, and he’d found the perfect sunflower pattern and bookmarked it the other day. 

“Love that,” Ed agrees, and tosses it into his hand basket — he hadn’t even bothered pretending that he wouldn’t be leaving the store without at least a few things, and now he has to find some complementary gold hues for the sweater he’d definitely be making for Stede. 

“You don’t have to…” Stede starts, but Ed quiets him with a look. 

“Well, now I’ve gone and germed it up, so… Had something in mind anyway,” Ed assures him when Stede gives him a worried little frown. “You’ll love it, trust me.” 

“That I do,” Stede smiles, and follows him through the aisle and helping him pick out a few more shades of yarn. 

Ed could browse all day, normally, but today he feels himself starting to drag a little. His head is starting to hurt, and the sore throat from this morning is coming back in full force, too. He stops to sneeze into his elbow when Stede wanders off down another aisle, just two quick, muffled hht’mpsh! Etshhh! sneezes, and still he hears Stede’s voice making its way to him, though Stede himself is still out of sight. 

“Bless you!” 

Ed smiles a little as he digs in his pocket for the last of the tissues Stede had given him earlier. They probably had to go home at this rate, what with his nose in rare fucking form and his head throbbing the way it is. 

With a sigh, Ed goes to find his husband. 

*

“hhh’ISCHih! h’sschUH!”

“Bless—”

“hd’ISCHuh! Eh’sschIEW! hh'iiishhh!”

“...you! Goodness, that’s a lot of sneezes, isn’t it? Are you sure you really need to work on that just now?” Stede asks. 

Ed sniffles, then sniffles again, then gives up and reaches for another tissue and rubs his nose into it. Blowing it doesn’t seem to do much of anything, just irritates things enough to make him sneeze again, which he’s already getting fucking tired of. 

He looks down at the granny square he’d been ignoring in favor of his cold for the last thirty minutes and realizes that Stede is probably right, he’s not going to make any more progress today. He can barely focus on anything with the sneezing or coughing or sniffling or some other cold symptom fighting for his attention. 

“I thought so,” Stede says gently, tucking his bookmark into his book and setting it, along with Ed’s crochet work, on the coffee table. “Why don’t you let me get you something for that cold, hm? Then we can just relax before we eat dinner. I’ll order from the deli you like. Soup’ll do wonders for you, I think.” 

Ed lets his head roll back against the couch cushions and nods. Stede really is the best when Ed’s sick, there’s never been any doubt about that, and this time is no different. Ed stays put in the living room, waiting while Stede putters around in their bedroom and bathroom, grabbing things. Knowing him, he’d come out with half the blankets in his collection, half the medicine cabinet, and insist on ordering almost the entire menu for dinner. 

And Ed… Ed wouldn’t have it any other way. All he could do was make it up to him when Stede inevitably came down with this in a week or so. 

“Here we are!” Stede says, announcing his return. Ed can’t help but laugh when he sees the armload of stuff he’s brought with him. 

“Are you kicking me out of our bedroom?” Ed teases. "Moving me out here permanently?"

“What! No,” Stede says, dumping the blankets onto Ed’s lap and arranging the array of medicines on the coffee table. “Never.”

“Oh, good, had me worried for a minute there, thought you’d packed up everything I own,” Ed laughs as Stede glares at him. 

“Y’know I love you, right?” 

“Yes, because I am an excellent husband with a wonderful bedside manner. Now, I’m going to make tea, you take two of these and one of these and I’ll be right back.” And with that, Stede's off again, Ed laughing quietly on the couch.

By the time the tea is cooled enough to drink, Ed is curled up around Stede on the couch in what can only be called a nest of blankets, doing more sniffling than anything else, but feeling better overall, thanks to the magical combination of medicine, tea, and Stede.

“This really hit you right out of nowhere, hm?” Stede murmurs, stroking a hand through Ed’s hair. It’s shorter and definitely grayer these days, but Ed’s pretty sure he’ll always react to Stede touching it the same way: melting into a pile of goo. God, he really is getting soft in his old age. 

“Yeah,” Ed sighs, leaning back into Stede’s touch. “Not so bad though, I guess…” Soon there would be way too much food arriving at their door, and cleaning up to do, and planning for the week ahead, but for now… 

Now, Ed would swear he can hear Stede’s gleeful little smile behind him. He decides to let him win this one, just before drifting off in a late-afternoon nap. 

*

“Stede, darling, I love you and your adorable, ridiculous, over the top nighttime routine but can you please just— Yes, good, that. Thank you very much,” Ed says, unable to stop the smile from taking over his face as Stede throws himself dramatically onto the bed and curls himself around Ed’s chest, face pressed right into the spot between his neck and shoulder, nose warm against his ear. 

Heaven. 

“Fuck, that’s it,” Ed sighs. 

Stede laughs, giggles, really, and Ed can feel the sound warm right through him. “Y’laughing at me?” Ed asks through a yawn. 

“Never, my love,” Stede promises. “It’s just that we have been literally together all day now, and you were really quite demanding that I get in here right now,” he points out. “You slept on me for two hours just this afternoon!”

Ed pretends to consider this. “So? I wait all day for this, Stede,” he says, then pouts just a little. “Don’t you?” 

“Of course, yes,” Stede says, leaning over and brushing their noses together just gently before kissing him. Ed sniffles a little at the touch, his nose extra sensitive thanks to the monster cold he’s managed to pick up, but Stede doesn’t seem to mind that. 

“Good,” Ed says. “Feels good,” he repeats. 

Stede really can’t seem to stop himself from smiling now, as silly as it might seem. They really had spent the entire day together, and now here they are, giggling like children after lights out. “You feel good, too,” Stede tells him. “Though… Do you feel alright?” 

Ed twitches his nose like he’s testing something, sniffles a few times, then nods. “Think m’alright for now. Still doped up on everything you gave me earlier.” 

“Advil for your head and some cold medicine is hardly doped up,” Stede argues. He kisses Ed again, a distraction, but a welcome one. 

“You take good care of me,” Ed acquiesces, though it’s hard not to with Stede curled around him like this. 

Never one to turn down a compliment, Stede beams. 

“hh’itsSCH! hd’ISCHuh! Eh’sschIEW!”

The rush of sneezes manages to take Ed completely by surprise, and he knows he doesn’t completely manage to duck away from Stede in the process. 

“Fuck… sorry,” Ed mutters, fumbling for a tissue. 

“God bless you! Maybe not quite on the mend yet, then,” Stede says, smiling. 

Ed opens his mouth, ready to apologize again, or promise he’ll take extra good care of Stede in return for being patient zero in the span of a single day, but Stede stops him with another kiss. 

“There’s no way you’re escaping this, mate,” Ed tells him. “You’ve been all over me all day.”

“You’ve been all over me, too,” Stede points out. 

“Right, well, sorry in advance, is what I mean,” Ed says. "Never not going to be all over you, for what it's worth."

“Good. Me either. And it's bound to happen,” Stede shrugs. "If I get it, I get it."

And really, how did Ed get this lucky? Even if he had to wait years and years and make several wrong turns through relationshipland to get here, he knows he wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

“Now,” Stede says, “you rushed me over here so... come here, please.” He holds out an arm for Ed to curl back into him, and Ed wastes no more time arguing as he settles into place, the two of them slotting around each other like two perfectly shaped spoon.

Yeah, he waits all day for this, and it’s fucking perfect. 

[procrazedfan]

I wish you would write a fic about the last time Lucius saw Skwisgaar in person (any age/era of his life)

For the love of god, get a tissue before you read...

The King is Dead

He should have noticed the signs sooner. His hyper fertility. His love of aging bodies. His own body not aging. 

It took him a decade after the Dethlights for him to realize that his mind had slowly matured. It took him another to notice that his body had stopped maturing altogether. 

Whether it was because of his direct lineage from what members of the Church called “The Spirit of Creation” or it was his status of the “Beast Daughter of the Apocalypse” (according to what Nathan said the whale told him) he wasn’t sure. 

But it had made one of his fears into a reality. Gave him a confirmation why he should never truly emotionally attach himself to the world around him.

As a God, it was his destiny to watch all those he loved die. 

He couldn’t think of an existence more brutal than that. 

Skwisgaar trudged his way through the guards of Deth Valley, his grandchildren, no doubt, who regarded his presence with suspicion. 

He sighed with both a strange mixture of pride and irritation, a feeling that he had grown accustomed when he was around his progeny. “I was -uh summonedses by the king? I heards he was…eugh…”

He didn’t want to say the word out loud. 

The two guards looked at one another and gave him a curt nod, escorting him through the bustling village.

A hint of a smile played on his lips as he listened to the laughter that rang in the air. It had gotten bigger since the last time he visited. There were far more children playing in the grass that never turned yellow, wearing flower crowns, and singing songs. Truly, Deth Valley was a slice of undying paradise in a world that had been otherwise slowly healing from the damage of the Metalocalypse. 

And the person they all owed it to was lying on his deathbed. 

After the guards announced his presence to the frail old man lying in bed, Skwisgaar slowly stepped towards the edge of the bed, taking in his son’s face. 

Wrinkles, liver spots, white hair, and a gaunt expression. Instead of staring at the ghost of what he was, he was staring at a ghost of what he could have been. He did not know whether to feel sorrow, or envy. 

Lucius coughed himself awake, taking in the sight of his father in his blurry vision. 

“You came.”

Biting his lower lip, Skwisgaar chuckled to himself. “How coulds I nots?”

The dying king tried to adjust himself, but Skwisgaar wasn’t having it. 

“Takes it easies. You aments…”

The old man chuckled. “ Since when have I done what you told me?”

Skwisgaar held back his tears and laughed with him. “That ams true. You always are a stubborns little shits.”

“Fucking Deadbeat…” Lucius chuckled, trying to keep their last meeting a light one, despite the heavy occasion.

“Assholes.” He chuckled, tears running down his cheek. “You goes and dies just sos you has the last words.”

Lucius shook his head. “It’s natural for all humans to die, Dad.”

“You could have stayeds like me…” He muttered almost selfishly. 

“You knew I didn’t do what I did for me.” the old man answered. 

Skwisgaar sniffed. “Thats you didn’ts min lille viking.”

He chuckled. “I’m not a viking, Dad… there is no Valhalla for a king who dies in bed instead of on the battlefield.”

Skwisgaar shook his head, tears flowing freely down his face. “If there ams no Valhallas for the little viking who stormed Mordhaus with an axe ands steals my beer, then there ams no hopes for any other warriors.”

The king’s eyes grew weary as his father tucked him back down into bed.

“Rests now. You ams dones all you cans.”

The last thing that Lucius felt before his soul departed was the gentle hand of a loving father’s touch. 

[laceratedlamiaceae]

I keep seeing people say that Steddyhands is endgame in s2, but good God, I DO NOT want that! Specifically the EdIzzy, because Ed is just a toxic character and Izzy has been through enough. (I'm iffy on Stede, but I prefer him so much more than Ed) Stede and Izzy should both run off and leave Ed alone. Man deserves to be alone for the rest of his horrible life.

I'm pretty sure most of the "steddyhands confirmed" posting is tongue-in-cheek; I don't think anyone actually believes it's likely to happen. At least, I hope not because yeah, I fucking hate it. The idea of Izzy being with Ed in any scenario literally makes me sick, but steddyhands makes it even worse because Ed and Stede are both too self-absorbed and obsessed with each other to reciprocate anything Izzy gives them. I know the point of Lucius saying "some people are just broken" and "there is nothing you can do that would fix this" is that he's wrong and they're going to pull some bullshit where Ed is just magically not a huge piece of shit anymore, but imo he's 100% right. The only ending I would be okay with is Izzy and the crew sailing away from Ed forever (ideally with Stede, but I know that's not going to happen) because you're totally right, he just needs to be left alone somewhere he can't hurt other people with his shit.

[silvyavan]

Lucius's power to see the future comes from his time magic that belongs to Astaroth. If I'm not mistaken, you talked about how Lucius was just the opening act for the great villain that would surely be Astaroth.

Do you think Astaroth could have been blinding Lucius preventing him from seeing Asta or manipulating his visions to make sure his own plan came to pass? Because if I'm not mistaken with Lucifer dead and Beelzebud having been used to paladinize Sister Lily now Astaroth is the most powerful demon in Hell.

Besides, Adramelech is still there on Lucius'side expecting something and we don't know what he's planning.

See, I originally ALSO thought this would be the sort of stereotypical case of conduct but RECENTLY I've made an observation how Astaroth HIMSELF is likely limiting his own powers and shit. And because he probably predicted Lucius betraying him, went with it and likely because Lucius having ALL forms of time magic (past, present, future) would probably be much more dangerous.

There's a lot of factors that, in the fine details, don't make sense with the base knowledge of "Lucius likely took Astaroth's heart". One, this would imply Lucius, with TIME MAGIC and in a wheelchair, could or would have beaten Astaroth, a supreme devil, to the point of taking his heart. Two, there's a LOT of traps for failure in ANY plan Lucius could have had, due to Astaroth's visions.

The only way how Lucius COULD have even gotten that far would be if Astaroth KNEW and had motivation to go with it. While I don't firmly believe in it, there is solid reasoning to Astaroth purposefully weakening himself, walking into a trap, getting merked and letting Lucius get a bootleg version of time magic and the immense hubris and god complex over "beating" a supreme devil. This would give Lucius a double edged sword - time magic that can't predict the change in a future in real time events (Fuegoleon alive, Yuno being strong in Clover, Noelle kicking ass) and a self assured God complex and unshakeable confidence that he can and will win. A power that LOOKS strong from the outside but has flaws and hubris and ego so huge you know its gonna be his downfall.

But the question would be WHY would Astaroth go with Lucius' bullshit, even at the expense of his own power and life? Maybe because he's actually SEEN the consequences of Lucius winning with full buffed time magic and that shit was not worth it for ANYONE, Lucius included.

We can ACTUALLY make that conclusion because on THREE, THREE WHOLE occassions we see the supporting cast confirm that Lucius' plan isn't utopian - Witch Queen confirming its the apocalypse, Ryuuya admitting that not just Clover, but the WHOLE WORLD would be dead ass destroyed and Leviathan awakening at the end of the world.

On top of that, we don't even actually SEE what Lucius' new world order would look like, much less function. This guy says mass shit about how he's going to achieve world piece through unanimous brainwashing, but we never actually go past the "I will bring world peace" part of the plan. Several other indicators point towards the fact that Lucius' own future visions don't show the full extent of his best case scenario.

It's likely Astaroth himself made a limit to Lucius of how far he can look into the future, so he never actually SEES what's past the point of victory. Otherwise, Lucius would have actually seen the end of the world that Witch Queen, Ryuuya and even Leviathan can see with their minimised forms of predictions.

WHY Astaroth wants Lucius to go with his god complex plan but NOT see the results is actually a pretty good question.