#Lucifer on Neflix

[pennydreadfulbook]

“No one lives forever,” God murmurs thoughtfully. “Except you. Except the host.” God turns and smiles sadly at Amenadiel, “No one, Amenadiel. Just like the stars, our flame does not burn eternal.”

~***~ Trixie spends time with God. Amandiel denies his Father for the third time. Lucifer picks up Trixie from school before going on an adventure. Chloe finds out some life-changing news.

[flutteringphalanges]

Finger on the Trigger

Summary:  The two Lucifers stood before her. Identical expressions. Identical looks. Chloe's hand trembled as she moved the gun in between them. "Detective!" They both said in unison, eyeing her with such familiar dark brown eyes her skin crawled. "I'm the real Lucifer! Would I ever lie to you?" Never before had Detective Decker felt so unsure in her life. *spoiler based on trailer scene*

Rating: T

Read More because of spoilers

A/N: Kind of spoiler based if you've watched the trailer. Basically if Chloe walked in on Lucifer and fake Lucifer (Michael) fighting and had to determine which was her Lucifer. Feedback is greatly loved and appreciated! Hope you enjoy! -Jen

                                        Finger on the Trigger

An all too familiar trope. Two characters, one real, one a mere clone-possibly evil, claiming to be the “right one”. The right person to save. To spare its life. And the poor victim with the gun in hand unsure of what to do. That was Chloe. Her gun, the issued Glock by the Los Angeles Police Department, heavy in her hands as she pointed at the two Lucifers. Finger trembling on the trigger. The two exact, recognizable Devils she knew--or thought she did, all too well. 

“Detective,” the first Lucifer said holding his hands up. “Now be reasonable. It’s me! Your friendly Devil!”

“Don’t listen to him, Detective!” The other one interjected sharply. “That isn’t him! You know it’s me! Would I ever lie to you?!” “Would I ever lie to you?!” It was like a record echoing through the room, spitting out the same statement over and over again. “Devil’s word!”

Chloe’s hands were visibly shaking as she moved the gun back and forth between the two. “You know if I shoot,” she snapped firmly. “...If I shoot, you will die because you’re vulnerable around me.” They both nodded in unison. That didn’t help any. “Tell me something that only the real Lucifer would know!” 

“You were in an adult film once!” A Lucifer spoke up. “You don’t like it when anyone brings it up!” 

“One time you yelled at me because I spilled coffee all over the paperwork on your desk!” Brought up the other. “You got even madder when I tried to clean it up with one of your spawn’s drawings!”

Now she was pointing at the other Lucifer who gazed at her in desperation. “Wait, now hold on! Don’t give him the benefit of the doubt! You shot me!” She had. More than once. “You shot me and I gave you a necklace of the bullet!”

“He can bloody see it on your neck!” The other Devil groaned. “Come now, Chloe. Think real hard. You know which one is which.”

The corners of Chloe’s mouth twitched into an upwards smile. Oh now she knew.

“The real Lucifer never calls me Chloe,” she smirked, pressing down on the trigger. “Usually.”

And the gun went off.

[beans-shadow]

y’all 

Lucifer on Netflix dealing with racism and police brutality? Unexpected move

Respect

[lucks-eterna]

End Game- Taylor Swift

Requested by Anonymous

[lucifer-hot-as-hell]

Hubby vs. Lucifer

“...and we need Netflix next year?” “Why?” “Well, isn’t it obvious?” “No... Isn’t Amazon prime enough?” “If they don’t have the right shows, no” I wordlessly scroll through my phone and open a random instagram screenshot with the words Lucifer and Netflix and shove it right under his nose.  He makes a sound that says “Oh... that...”

[maximwtf]

“I’ll wait for you to come around.”

                      Lucifer Morningstar x injured reader

words: 2300

google docs pages: 4

warnings: mentions of murder, blood, knives, injuries, Guess that’s it?

opening: Y/n was in love with Lucifer, but because she saw what was going on with Chloe and him she found someone else. Though later, it turns out that the man she was together with was the murderer LAPD had been looking for for a while. 

Request: @stardewey​ 

AN// Reader uses she/her! I love how I once wrote one injured reader fanfic and now it's mostly the only thing I write for xD love it though, there can never be too many x injured readers! Anyway, thank you for the request, loved writing this one!

Not proof read!!

                “I’ll wait for you to come around.”

You had known Lucifer for quite some time, and during that time you had fallen for him. But even though your attempts to start something, nothing had worked. You had started to think he hadn’t even noticed your hints, but soon you realised the reason why. The reason why he hadn’t reacted to your hints was because he didn’t feel the same way, and on top of that he had been in love with someone else the whole time. And the person he was in love with had been in front of you the whole time, it just took you ages to figure out. Of course it was Chloe, they spent so much time together, and they even worked in the same workplace. It was so painfully obvious, that you felt dumb whenever you even thought about it.

After taking your time to process what you had figured out, you had decided that it was ultimately for the best if you just moved on. You had no chances with the man if he wasn’t even interested in you to begin with. 

So you started to go on dates, seeing a bunch of people until one of them finally clicked with you. You started seeing him more and more, until he one day finally asked you to be his girlfriend, which you had said yes to. You and him figured that life would be easier if you moved in together, so you two got an apartment. Everything seemed to be going just fine, and you had started to finally feel happy again. The past with Lucifer was..well in the past and you didn’t even have to think about it anymore. 

Of course you still kept in contact with him, and talked almost daily. You were certain that he still wasn’t aware of your old crush on him, so it didn’t even feel bad when you talked to him. Everything felt like it had gone back to normal, back to what it was like before you were in love with him. Just like things had been when you two had just met. He talked to you about the cases he was working on, which you had told him not to do since you were pretty sure that was illegal. But despite your warnings, he kept coming back and telling you what he was solving now and how it was going so far. 

The latest case he had brought up was about a murderer. The thought of someone like that running around had freaked you out, but Lucifer claimed that there was no need to worry since ‘the best people were on the case’. You obviously weren’t given all of the details on the carse, but you knew of the murders the person had committed and the way he had done them. You tried not to think about it too much, but every time you saw Lucifer you just had to ask if the person had been caught yet, just so you could let your mind rest for a moment. 

You were now making food for the day in the apartment you and your boyfriend had rented. While listening to the radio, you pushed the cooking food around the pan. Your boyfriend was on his way back from work, you noticed when your eyes travelled to the clock, placed on the wall. While smiling slightly at the thought, your mind went back to cooking. It was only when you heard a door get slammed closed that you were pulled back from your thoughts. The slam had been so aggressive that it had startled you. You were about to call out to see who had entered the house, but soon you heard noises of fighting coming from near the door. It frightened you enough to make you grab your phone and open contacts just in case something bad was going down. You took a couple silent steps forward while leaning against the kitchen wall to take a peek. 

You sneaked close enough to the end of the wall so you were able to see the hallway that led to the door. But what your eyes saw horrified you to your core. It was your boyfriend, but he was with someone. Your boyfriend you thought you knew had a knife in his hands, and just the moment you had taken a peek he had pushed it into the other man’s chest he had come into the apartment with. You wanted to scream for help out of terror, but something in you told you to be as quiet as you could. While biting harshly on your tongue to keep yourself quiet, you sneaked back into the kitchen, and sat down tightly against one of the corners. 

The phone felt hot in your hands when you opened it. Whilst your hands were shaking, Lucifer’s number popped up first on your screen. In the panicked state you were in you called him, putting the phone carefully against your ear to hear if he picked up. Your free hand was covering the mic of the phone, to muffle the sound of his voice if he answered. The beeps felt like hours were passing, but soon enough you heard a British voice. “Hello, Y/n.” He said, taking a sip from a glass straight after. Your breathing was heavy as you spoke as quiet as you could, but close enough to the mic so he would be able to hear. “You..Lucifer you need to- there…it’s him- he killed all the people.” You tried to explain the situation, but the state of panic you were in was stealing the ability to speak from you. “Y/n, are you okay?” You could hear his voice sounded a lot more worried. “The murderer, its him. He- there’s a dead man in here.” you gritted your teeth together when you heard someone walk closer to the kitchen, already knowing who it was. “He-he's going to kill me.” Your voice sounded terrified. It took Lucifer a moment to catch up with what you were trying to tell him, but then it clicked. The murderer he had told you about was in the apartment with you. “Y/n, do not close the phone. I’m cooking over.” Was all you heard before Lucifer went quiet and all you could hear was him running somewhere. 

Your gaze moved up, and to your terror there he stood. There was some blood embedded into his shirt from the man he had killed just moments before, and he was still holding the same knife he had used. Your hands were shaking while looking at him. “Wrong place, wrong time. A shame honestly.” He murmured, walking closer to you. “Get away!” You yelled at him as you stood up quickly, walking on the other side of the kitchen table. He followed your movement and smiled. “You know what I have to do, don’t make it harder than it has to be.” He spoke up again, scaring you even more. 

Every time you tried to move out of the kitchen, he blocked the way by walking in the same direction. You looked at the phone in your hands. There wasn’t much you could do, but you did have an idea you could try. You ended the call you had been on with Lucifer and took a better hold of the phone. When he wasn’t looking at you for a moment, you threw the phone at him as hard as you could, startling him enough that you had the time to run out of the kitchen. It didn’t take him long to go after you, and corner you again, but this time near a window. Nothing was said, but he was getting closer and closer. You pressed you back against the window, feeling the bottom of it with your hands. Because of the panic, you couldn’t find the spot that lifted up the window. Your breathing was getting quicker and quicker as the man was getting closer to you. Just as you thought it was over you felt your fingers slide under the window and that allowed you to pull it all the way up. You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in. 

The next moments felt like the longest seconds in your entire life but they also passed so quickly you could barely tell what was happening. Opposite to the window frame you were against was the door that led outside, it was slammed open and someone was walking in the apartment, towards you two. This didn’t go unnoticed by your ‘boyfriend’, and as the only thing he could think of, he attacked you, trying his best to get a hit on you. The attempt to kill you failed. Because the window was now open, you fell straight off, fastly heading to the ground. You could hear someone shout ‘NO!’ before you landed on the hard asphalt, passing out right then and there. 

The next moments were a complete blur as you kept waking up and passing out again. You had landed on your back, so every time you came back to it, you were able to see the window you fell from. For a brief moment you heard screaming and shouting coming from the apartment, and the next time you came back it had stopped. 

The last time you opened your eyes, you felt someone close to you. They were saying something but you couldn’t make out any of the words. Your head was pounding, something was most definitely bleeding and there were at least three broken ribs. “Y/n!” Finally something you understood came through, but when you tried to answer all that came out was a groan from the pain. “No, no, no stay awake. Come on…” You could hear him say, but anything else he said after that didn’t make any sense. 

The next time you woke up, you heard beeping, people talking quietly in the distance, footsteps and other sounds mixed with all of that. A groan left your mouth as you tried to open your eyes. The lights in the room felt so bright that the best option would have been to just continue sleeping, but you pulled through it and slowly opened your eyes again. A hospital room, you recognized it immediately. Slowly turning to the other side of the bed, you saw a chair next to your bed. Before you have time to make any assumptions, you head the door of the room open and someone walks in. Lucifer! 

He noticed you had finally woken up and hurried to the chair next to the bed. “How are you feeling?” Lucifer asked, clearly not sure what to say. You looked at him, mouth and throat so dry that it was hard to start forming words but you still tried. “Fine.” Was all you were able to say. 

You were almost completely sure that you had just almost died, and it felt wild to still be here. The boost you got from that made you want to state the facts to Lucifer, and just tell him how you felt, even if he didn’t feel the same way. Before you were able to, Lucifer spoke up again. “I can get you some water?” He asked, hearing how harsh your voice was. “No, wait.” You couched and then groaned in pain, as you felt a wave of pain go over you, drowning you in its depths for a moment. “Lucifer, I know- This is stupid but.” You mumbled, trying to get your voice back to normal. “Listen, I care about you and I almost just passed away- And…I guess I just wanted to tell you that I’m in love with you-” You ended your speech right then and there, considering if it was a bad idea after all. You felt his hand get placed over your own. “And I know you have someone-” Another wave of pain, making you press your eyes shut for a moment. “Else on your mind but, I just wanted to tell you.” You continued. Lucifer didn’t say anything for a moment. “What do you mean?” He asked, taking so long to form the question that you had thought he wasn’t going to say anything at all. “Chloe. I don’t want to ruin anything.” You replied, trying to look away from him. Lucifer furrowed his brows, as if he hadn’t heard what you said. “You must have misunderstood my intentions.” He said. “I gave you hints, it’s clear how things are.” You mumbled straight after he stopped talking. “Love, I do care for you but I’m nor certain of my feelings. That’s why I ignored the hints you were giving.” Lucifer replied, his voice filled with sorry. You turned to finally look at him, finding that he had been looking at you as well. You almost couldn't believe that you had been wrong this whole time. “It’s okay, I’ll wait for you to come around.” You tried to smile through the pain, when you heard a nurse walk in the room. “I know you’ll wait, you can’t get up can you?” He tried to smile a little, as he stood up, letting the nurse take care of you. 

[dciphe-r]

[ultrasubterfuge]

[write-nerdy-to-me]

i have my lucifer meta i’ve been working on for ages (see: connecting dots like charlie day and feeling FERAL), but now all i can think about are roman gods and two faces aND THE STAFF.

[engy-angel]

Warld on fire and there is no one can save you expect me and my heart

He said that to her

She said to him, I love you and I will not say goodbye to ur heart never ever 😍😍

[sleepyblackgrl-archive]

Y’all Eve a real one lmao. Like she didn’t hesitate!! I like her!! And I’m happy that her accepting him is gonna make him feel slightly better about himself. It’ll hopefully be the first of many steps to him getting over his insecurities. 

[pennydreadfulbook]

Penny Dreadful - Prologue

Content Rating: M Relationships: F/F + F/M  Content warnings: No Warnings

______________________________________________________________

Before language and time existed before Heaven and Earth, darkness was all that It knew. Just a formless void of nothingness with no curves, edges or lines, it felt nothing about the void, nothing ill or joyful, but It felt a longing.

It felt a desire—a Loneliness. And so It split in two, a divine blinding light became, and equal half of all there was, is, and ever could be, and neither knew who came first, the rooster or the egg. They did not care because they had each other. Before they created together, they were together, equals to one another. Eventually, they made language, their children used it, and words like He and She came to be. They had their favourites, their relational ups and downs, but Neither were alone; they could satiate each other.

Until they couldn't.

Until He grew distant and wanted to create alone.

But that- that is another story. And yet, that story is like a stone skipping across the surface of the water, mirroring the story you are about to hear—and mirroring one of the oldest stories, the tale of love.

Time heals all wounds, in the end. But this is not the end for us. His end was our beginning.

Some stories are so compelling that they ripple through time, touching people throughout eons, changing slightly. But never enough.

This is their story.

.

JANUARY 7TH

.

Shave and a haircut, two bits, reverberates throughout a Greenwich Village loft. Exhaling her cigarette (an action closely resembling a sigh), a tall olive-skinned woman whom most would assume is in her early twenties stands and stretches. She saunters over to the door. She looks through the peephole to see a curly-haired brunette standing on the other side.

"Penny S.?" The short woman in large-framed cat-eyeglasses asks, holding up her phone. "I'm here about the roommate ad?"

The door opens an inch, dark eyes peering at her from behind it before they seem to speak. "Let me guess, spring semester N.Y.U.?"

The stranger in front of Penny blinks twice and flushes. "The New School."

Penny groans before closing the door and taking the chain off the latch before opening it fully. "Strike one."

Cat-eyed Frames ducks her head in greeting and half-waves before walking into the loft apartment before she slips her shoes and her backpack off by the door. Penny watches her quietly; her arms crossed over her tank top.

"Holy shit." Escapes Frames mouth as she stands up, taking in her surroundings. The loft is easily over 2200 square feet. There is a bathroom to her left as Frames enters, a modest kitchen to her right, and an island to separate it from the rest of the open space. They move around a dark wooden dining room table stacked full of tomes and books that look like they belong in a university library.

"Sorry— just it's even more amazing than what I was expecting."

Penny rolls her eyes, but Frames is blissfully unaware as she walks around the loft, her hand tracing a pattern on the kitchen island. Penny wanders over and perches herself back in the armchair she had been sitting on before the interruption. The lithe woman reaches for her cigarette and inhales before placing it back in the ashtray beside a small expresso cup. She exhales and picks up an exotic curved blade and her apple before she begins to slice wedges. Behind the chair is three floor-to-ceiling windows narrowly separated by red brick. Beyond the kitchen is a shared wall completely obscured by bookcases overflowing.

Frames regards Penny calmly, taking in the two messy buns that look like they belong on a child, not a twenty-something-year-old woman. Booty shorts and a tank top seem to be all that she's wearing outside a black stoned ring on her left hand.

"How can you afford this?"

"I can't." Penny points out with her knife towards Frame's phone, still in her hand, "Hence the ad."

Frames intrigues Penny. She's used to girls wearing Uggs and yoga pants answering her roommate ad, only to last a few months at best. This one is different.

"I didn't catch your name." Penny offers, lifting an apple slice to her mouth before resting her head on her knees.

"Nevaeh."

A giggle washes over Penny long and full of mirth, but again Frames blushes.

"Oh, you're not kidding. Well that's… unfortunate."

Nevaeh shifts uncomfortably on the couch. "I could change it— if it's another one of your strikes."

Penny shrugs lazily at her. "Hey man it's not for me to judge you based on your name. TRUST me. If you want to change it, change it for yourself. But just to be clear, your parents sound like the worst."

Nevaeh laughs. "That's a little too easy to deduce isn't it? After all, don't most of us flock here to New York to get away from them?"

Penny's heart skips a beat. If you only knew.

"What about you? Do you go to school?" Nevaeh asks, her eyes roving the apartment's layout. To her left, a staircase leads up to a second-story loft where she assumes the rooms are. Her eyes meet Penny, whose back is to the floor to ceiling windows, most of the space filled with bookshelves full of books and interesting looking weapons that couldn't possibly be real decorate the walls.

"I am a private investigator." Penny murmurs, picking up an expresso cup beside her ashtray and takes a sip.

"How many tenants?"

"Just me."

Nevaeh laughs, beginning to unzip her jacket and remove it.

"What?" Penny inquires.

"A woman in her twenties lives alone in a Greenwich Village loft inside a building that values rent at over five thousand a month. And you are asking for less than a tenth of that for my portion?"

Rolling her shoulders, Trixie reaches over for her drink to take another sip of it.

"That is correct if we both choose to move forward with this arrangement."

"Do you always keep it this warm?"

"Is that a problem?"

"Not if I don't have to pay for it."

"No the price listed is all inclusive."

"That sounds, like a dream. This whole thing sounds like a dream." Nevaeh stares around the apartment wistfully.

Penny snorts a small laugh and shakes her head. "Look I think I may like you, against my better judgement, so I'm going to be honest with you. For the last few girls it has been more of a nightmare than a dream. I'm pithy, and sometimes vile. I swear like a sailor and I smoke in the loft. I come and go at all hours, I forget personal boundaries, if you leave chocolate, cake, or chocolate cake in the fridge I will eat it."

Nevaeh nods and narrows her eyes at the woman in front of her. "You say against your better judgement. We've spent maybe two minutes together. What have you gotten from me so far?"

"Well you yelled my name outside our apartment, which tells me you're naïve and not from the area, since you're obviously not a cop. You took you're shoes off at the door which rules out more of the states, giving me the impression you're possibly Canadian. You're clothing is simple but timeless, made with quality fabrics which tells me while you don't have much to your name, you're aware of the difference between quality and not quantity. Your name screams that your parents were millennials, but ones who must have valued the arts given your choice of school."

Nevaeh reaches over to the coffee table and takes an apple from the bowl before leaning back and crossing her legs underneath her on the couch.

"Want to know what I've gleaned in the last two minutes?" She asks before biting into the fruit.

"What's that?"

Nevaeh just smiles, "you said 'our' apartment."

.

FEBRUARY

.

"Damn it, Penny close the door!" Nevaeh's heart skips a beat as she walks in on Penny going to the washroom. She turns around and raises her eyes to the sky, towels and bathrobe in hand.

"I'm just peeing Vaeh, you're fine."

"I don't think you're grasping my point!" Vae squeaks. When she hears the toilet flush, she turns around to see Penny doing up her jeans.

"You said boundaries." Vaeh pleads; Penny shrugs and simpers as she glides past her before Vae adds, "believe me, if you keep pressing, I will release the floodgates and you won't know what hit you."

Vaeh goes to close the door behind her now that she's alone to enjoy her bath. She hears Penny start the espresso machine for the fifth time that day; the percolation's sound causes a small epiphany.

"And wash your hands!"

"I just PEED!"

"Don't be gross or I'll start calling you PigPen!" Vae finishes barking down to Penny on the floor below. Before she closes the door, she listens and is rewarded by hearing the kitchen tap spring to life.

"That's what I thought," she mutters more to herself than anyone as she closes the door to draw herself a bath.

The next morning as she starts the coffee maker for their first pot of coffee, Vae sees Penny's ring sitting on the sink beside the tap. She picks it up and examines it, realizing it's neither new looking nor old, modern nor antique. The smooth black appears to be onyx, the band most likely platinum. Biting her lip, Vae looks around for a safe place to put it instead of right beside a very industrial drain. Walking upstairs, she finds one of Penny's hair elastics, loops the ring through and then walks into the hallway where there are hooks for hats and scarves. She places on a hook closest to Penny's door before heading off to school.

~***~

You have 31 unread text messages .

Vae's heart sinks and begins to scroll through a lengthy one-sided conversation Penny seemed to have been having with herself while Vae was in class.

She reads the last one first, as one tends to do upon opening the chat.

PigPen | 3:32p.m.

I'm not trying to accuse you of anything, but please, PLEASE, just call me when you get this message.

PigPen | 3:30p.m.

/your room.

PigPen | 3:28p.m.

I mean, I understand if that's what happened, but I just thought I should check in before I destroy this garburator by ripping it/the rest of the house apart trying to find it.

Vae autodials Penny before scrolling through the rest of the messages, and Penny answers in one ring.

"Pleasetellmeyouhaveseenmyring."

"It's on the hat hook closest to your room, on a hair elastic. You left it by the sink."

Vae listens to Penny scramble with the phone, up the stairs and an audible exhalation of relief before she returns to the call.

"I blame you for this." And Vae can sense there is some truth to her mocking yet biting tone.

"You're welcome." She returns in a sing-song voice, only to annoy Penny further. "Next-time, where would you like me to put it?"

"There shouldn't be a next time."

"Uh-huh."

.

MARCH

.

"Happy birthday!" Vae squeals, handing Penny a luxurious looking piece of chocolate cake with a single candle in it.

"You made this for me?" Penny inquires suspiciously.

"Of course!"

"How did you find out?"

"Through FaceFilm, that app keeps all your personal data. For someone so private I'm surprised you're even on it."

"It's for work... it helps with the investigating."

"Right." Vae murmurs, watching as Penny continues to eye the cake. "One more year then your legal! Not that that's ever stopped you, did you know I thought you were like... twenty-two or something when I first met you? Aren't you going to make a wish?"

Penny closes her eyes and her lips tremble as though she's silently speaking the words so fiercely, they may erupt from her throat.

Then she opens them and quickly blows out the candle.

"What did you wish for?" Vae asks her, placing her own piece of cake down in front of her.

"More time." Penny murmurs before digging into the cake.

~***~

"Is that a sex swing?" Vaeh asks as she assesses Penny's room.

"Can't it just be a swing Vae?" Penny doesn't seem to be too flustered by the question as she leans against the doorframe, her signature double buns replaced with a long raven ponytail, resting high on her head.

"Por qué no los dos?" Vae shrugs, jumping onto the bed as she flops into a sitting position. Their rooms are opposite one another, the bathroom they share between them, but after Vae passed the two-month mark, permission had been granted. It hasn't been easy, Penny was willing to compromise, and Vae laid tape down in areas of the living room where knives might fly past towards its target dummy at any given moment. Vaeh also has learned that Penny won't feed herself, but she gets hangry, making it easier to cook for her. Still, Penny is not without her virtues.

"It's a gift from my stepmother. Besides, I'd have to be having sex for it to be both." She laments before flopping down beside her companion on the bed.

Vaeh looks Penny up and down with an incredulous look, choosing whether to comment on the fact her stepmother gifted her a sex swing or, "You… have a hard time finding-" Vae wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, "Someone?"

Penny smiles wistfully, "It's not like we're playing hide and seek Vae, but I don't make friends easily. It would require me to socialize with... people. And my upbringing while badass, was… complicated."

Vae has assumed that Penny came from money. The books, the clothes, the apartment. They eat and drink like broke students, but Nevaeh is acutely aware her roommate is taken care of in ways that she is not.

"So, what your saying is that ordinary people bore you?" Vae enquires.

"Yes? That sounds so petty." Penny whinges.

"Yeah, well, at least you're honest. Vae tells her, staring up at the ceiling. "Always."

"My sweet little bigot." It occurs to Vae that even though it is a 20-foot ceiling above them (the highest in the whole building, as they reside on the top floor), tiny greenish-yellow stickers are scattered in what she thinks might be constellation patterns. A sex swing was adequately bolted to the roof. Even with access to the right ladder, the project would have taken hours upon hours without some sort of divine intervention.

"My upbringing wasn't that badass," Vae murmurs.

"No, from the sound of things it wasn't."

"I'm no basic bitch though."

"Oh, I believe it." Penny laughs, "Otherwise, why would you live here with me?"

 .

MAY

.

"Penny pleeeeease?" Vae begs; she is getting tired of dehydrated noodle cups and macaroni and cheese for supper.

"I said no Nevaeh." Penny sternly tells her, and Vaeh begins to pout. She crosses her arms over her chest and finds herself folding her legs underneath herself as she watches Penny continue to pick an outfit in the mirror.

"Come on, I seriously need your help. The Dior," and Penny holds up a black silk collared blouse, "Or this one, I think I got at H&M," and she shows her a heather grey cable knit that is similar in colour to the wool skirt she's got on.

"Why should I help you get dressed for a fancy dinner that you get to go to, for free, when you won't even take me?"

"I take you for dinner on work ONE TIME."

"It was not one time."

"I can't take you on every case."

"You're going to a fancier place?"

"No."

"Possibility you're coming home will blood all over you again?"

"... Hopefully not?"

"The black silk. It's from B.C.H."

And that's how Penny and Vaeh begin to categorize much of their life. There is now, and B.C.H. (Before CoHabitation), and as two people who don't have much or many, B.C.H. stuff doesn't work its way into everyday conversation frequently. Vaeh doesn't know what Penny used to do before they met, but now she spends her free nights walking Vaeh back from the corner market down the street from their loft.

Vae's shift is over, she and Penny both with their free coffee in hand. They tend to talk about Vae's day more than Penny's, as Vae learned early into their friendship that Penny does not usually discuss much about her work as a private investigator.

.

JULY

.

Tears are running down their faces as credits roll. They are lying in Penny's bed, where one of the two household televisions is located.

"Okay, breathe."

"Prometheus School of Running, oh my God," Vae chokes out, and Penny immediately shudders and rolls her eyes, the hair on the back of her neck standing up.

"You okay?" Vae giggles, rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah, it's just, I have a weird reaction to hearing people take the lord's name in vain."

"Are you serious right now? You swear like a drunken sailor, on shore leave..."

"I don't think it's that bad." Penny counters.

"... In a brothel."

"Now you're just exaggerating."

"We are banned from that Macdonald's on 11th."

"Okay, but that eleven-year-old was a bully."

"You once used the word 'fuck' for every word in a sentence."

"Well that's my point exactly. Monty Python was not that far off in their assessment in the versatility of the word fuck."

"So is it that you believe in God?"

And Penny begins to laugh hysterically, bitterly almost. "You could, you could say that."

"Alright." Vaeh sighs her head, resting in her hand, taking in her weird, eccentric friend who has now established another parameter to their relationship.

"Alright?" Penny questions.

"Alright."

.

AUGUST

.

Vaeh climbs the stairs to their fourth-floor loft, meeting with a delivery person leaving a note.

Penny's shouting can be heard on the other side of the door.

"She not answering?" She asks.

"I knocked miss, and it's only her voice in there. I think she's on the phone."

Vae offers an apologetic smile. As she turns the keys and enters, she catches Penny's eyes, her shoulder pressed into her phone, giving her the ability to play with a knife, bright and silver (a personal favourite) in erratic short bursts.

"I don't give a flying fuck Linda, which, is rather apropos in this case, don't you think? He knows where I live; it's not like his name isn't on the deed."

Vae creates a peace sign towards Penny before turning the aforementioned fingers towards her eyes, then motioning across the room at Penny to force her attention.

"What?" And there is petulance in Penny's tone as she uses her free hand to hold her phone and give Vae her attention.

"You have registered mail." Vae whispers as if to try and give the caller and Penny privacy that has already been broken.

"Just sign for me." Penny huffs, and then she's back on the phone. "What are you even talking about? "

Vae wants to tell her that this isn't how these things work. That the delivery person isn't going to allow Vae to sign for mail just that easily, but Penny is deeply invested in an argument once more, and the stranger at the door interrupts with a "Miss, can you can just sign x and type her name in."

"What?! " Penny clips out so pithy it sounds odd and catches Vae off guard.

"How? WHY?" And Vaeh is now REALLY intrigued as she signs the package. Not many things can get Penny to use that many investigative words that closely in order, that she's now playing 'wh' word bingo in her mind.

"How long?"

DOUBLE HOW!

"I've been gone two years— "

Booo, you broke the chain after a double how? Boooooo...  Vae giggles internally as she closes the loft door, dumps the package on Penny's desk and slips her headphones on at her workstation.

Sometime later, after Vae has slipped her focus into the design she's creating, her head and shoulders bouncing as she plays with colour palettes, Penny crosses her field of vision.

Vae slips the headphones off, "Hey roomie," she greets in a sing-song voice, "Who was that?"

She watches as Penny absent-mindedly fiddles with her ring. "My thera—  Linda."

"You have a thera-Linda too? Where do you keep yours?" Vae pantomimes looking around the apartment leerily before leaning in and whispering, "I keep mine in a drawer by my bed."

"What?" Penny asks, caught off-guard.

"Exactly." Vae says and goes back to her monitor. Her shoulder-dance slowly begins once more even though she respects Penny enough to keep her headset off until she's done.

"Linda was a family therapist and friend. She's like an aunt to me."

"Ah, family problems." She murmurs as she watches Penny slip into the chair at her desk.

"It's my stepdad. He's gone missing."

Vae's attention is peaked now as she looks over at Penny, who is staring off into the middle distance. "Wow, are you okay?"

"Yes," Penny's eyes go wide in realization. "Sorry, I should have explained. He does this from time to time. When my mom and he—   this one time." She looks at Vae with jaded eyes, seemingly confused as to what is holding her back.

"When I was little, he was known to bail when things got rough. When he and mom finally figured their literal prophetic shit out, he got better. He had his moments, but he genuinely tried. Now that my mom is gone. Well," Penny says, her eyes drifting down to the package that Vae had signed for.

"I didn't know your mom was gone." Vae murmurs reaching over the desks and placing her hand on Penny's.

"She is and she isn't. That's the worst part. She is and she isn't." Vae looks down at their hands and sees her thumb rubbing Penny's wrist.

"So Lu— Dad, Linda says he's not handling it well. Which, newsflash, no one is taking it well. But that's no reason to treat my stepmom and dad the way he has been, regardless of their previous problems. SPEAKING OF WHICH," Penny pivots, pulling her hand out and opening the package.

"Let's see what the big-bad-momma-bear sent me this time." She takes one of the knives she uses as a letter opener, the sparkly handle painted bright.

No joy or recognition lights up Penny's face as she places the package down on her desk.

"What?" Vaeh asks, more interested than she ever has been with Penny's details about her life before their cohabitation.

Vae stands to look in the box and sees white, radiant feathers reflecting the light from the room back at them. There aren't many, only three, and they are covered in bright red dots of blood.

"Say what you want about my parents," Vaeh finally speaks, her voice concerned, "but yours sound like the worst. "

 .

NOVEMBER

.

Vae hears a clinking sound in the sink before she sees it, and her heart stops briefly as it casually rolls towards the garburator drain. Quickly, she snatches it out of the slow-motion moment she foresees it falling down towards a black abyss.

Frustrated, she takes the ring and seeks vengeance on the woman who almost gave her a heart attack.

She finds Penny in her room, a file named DROMOS, in her hand, GAUDIUM, MISC. LILLIM, CONSTANTINE on the bed. She's smoking and drinking, listening to piano-heavy dance music so loud that she couldn't hear Vae knocking on the door.

"Penelope, I swear if I find this thing one more time—"

" I knew where it was." She tells her as she turns down the volume.

"It's no use to you down the drain!"

"It's no use to me period." Penny murmurs, and Vae feels a shriek almost bubbling within her, "just, take it, will you?!"

"I promise, no more hand washing."

~***~

"Are you not visiting anyone for Thanksgiving?" Vae enquires from the kitchen, the date looming closer and closer.

"No. Are you?" Penny asks, looking up from a case file she has sprawled out on her desk. Vaeh had answered the door at 7:30 a.m. this morning to receive it for her, forcing her signature since Penny was still fast asleep. As she has noticed before, it comes from Los Angeles. She had tossed it on her best friend's desk before hitting the button to the coffee machine and passing out on the couch while it brews, only to be woke by Penny a few hours after that.

"Canadian Thanksgiving is in October," Vaeh reminds her.

"Right. So you didn't, sorry." Penny murmurs, Vae dressed in pajama pants and a hoodie, shuffles over to her drafting table/computer desk hybrid that they set up on the opposite side of Penny's dark mahogany antique. She hands Penny a cup of coffee before flopping down into her chair.

"Kind of hard when they all live back west," Vae adds, reaching for her drawing tablet.

"Mmmm... mine too, at least those left." Penny adds as she opens her laptop.

Vae nods softly, files this extra information in the THINGS THAT EXPLAIN PENNY compartment of her mind.

.

DECEMBER

.

The snow falls around them in puffy white clouds, a wind sending them sideways, enough of a nip to the air to have them be hustling back to their loft after dinner with some of Vae's classmates. Penny is still going on about the impending holidays.

"If neither of us see no point— "

"Can't afford." Vae interjects.

"Oh so you're saying that if I paid for you, you would head back for the holidays then?"

"With your family, sure." Vae replies illusively.

"No... that wasn't part of the question."

"Then what is our actual plan," Penny begins again, "because I cannot have dinner with your friends Rose and David twice in one month."

"They have been the worst since they started listening to that new podcast. Sometimes they play it so loud when we are in the studios at school, I can't hear the instructor. I'm not," and Vae makes an awkward motion with her arms, "built to receive that much stimuli."

"Do you even hear yourself sometimes?" Penny turns to Vae, her breath coming out in steam as they try to fight the cold.

"Please, coming from the one with a sex swing in her room."

"It's not used for sex!" Penny huffs, shoving her hands deeper into her pockets.

"Are you telling me you actually swing in it... just because?"

"Are you telling me you wouldn't?"

"Pffft... I dunno." Vae begins, looking over at a heavily bundled up Penny, dark eyes peering out, "Christmas movie Marathon? But I mean, entertaining Christmas movies. Die Hard, Krampus, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Nightmare Before Christmas— "

"Gremlins?" Penny asks, hopefully.

"Do you even have to ask?" Vae retorts. "Do you want to watch Zuzu's Petals?"

"Is that the remake of It's a Wonderful Life?" Penny hesitantly asks.

"I don't know, I've never seen It's a Wonderful Life." They continue their trek towards their loft, the snow gently falling above them before Penny clears her throat.

"Look, I've been meaning to talk to you about something important— "

"Oh Pen, I thought I told you friends don't ask friends to come to their improve shows. "

"No! That's not what this is about, although it really hurts you won't even try. "

"What is this about then?"

"A couple of months ago when we had our Alien marathon— "

"— and I said oh my God and you got hella weird?"

"I did not get hella weird."

"You got sooooo weird. It was visceral! I watched you shudder."

"Do you believe in God?" Penny plows ahead; they're almost to their building.

"What?" Vae is surprised by the line of questioning, "Why?"

"I don't know, it just struck me. I never thought about your feelings or thought to ask. I just did kind of what I watched mostly everyone around me my entire life do and focus on my own feelings before realizing I should consider yours." She holds open the door for Vae, and they begin the climb up the stairs.

"No. Sort of? As an artist I've dabbled with the lore of Judeo-Christian theology but like, it's all stories to me. I think I'm agnostic."

"I think it's reasonable to want proof." Penny mutters.

"Well if I was one for needing proof, I would have given up believing you were a P.I. months ago."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing! Nothing..." and Vae rolls her eyes towards the heavens before smirking a carefree grin at her. "I mean all those files you could just be a very thorough stalker."

"Stalking is essential to the job yes." Penny agrees before unlocking their front door and letting Vae through before walking through herself.

"And I imagine so are the arts, but that doesn't seem to inspire you to invite me along."

"The Arts?"

"Yeah like, sketching a suspect, or taking photographs. You know I covet your camera, and when I asked you about ISO and aperture, I could have sworn I saw you drool."

"Maybe I could use help with the camera."

"Maybe I could help you with the camera."

Hours later, when they are both in sleep clothes and are sitting on the couch, finishing their tasks for the night before heading to bed, Penny signals to Vae she wants to talk to her. Vae puts her pencil down and pulls her headphones off.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come with me on a job."

"Saywhat?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to come with me on a j—"

"Okay, so you said what I thought I heard you say. When? Why?"

"Or forget it, you can stay here."

Vaeh throws a pillow at Penny's head, which Penny spears with her knife reflexively. She pulls the knife out and puts the pillow behind her back as though it were entirely natural behaviour.

"Just a few questions, how good are you at drawing someone from memory?"

~***~

The P.I. and the Artist are at a frat party, scoping the crowd. Vae has her arm looped through Penny's, sipping from a solo cup that Penny had procured for her when they entered. They tend to stay tethered together in situations like this, but Vae is barely focusing on Penny's conversation, and some frat dudes are having. If she must draw any of these faces later, she knows she needs to study their features, read their eyes, soak up the details.

"I'm a private investigator," Penny yells above the music's obnoxious noise to the guy in front of her, her leather jacket groaning with her movements.

Vae's is in the backpack that she brought, containing her pencils and sketchbook; their winter-wear is also stored there. Vae imagines she must look like a hunchback currently, and two men have offered to take it for her, but she'd like to be able to leave at a moments notice and get home without freezing to death, so instead, she continues to look like a clinging humped sidekick to her attractive best friend.

"Oh yeah, so like… do you catch people cheating and shit?" the guys all laugh nervously. Two dude’s high-five as Vae rolls her eyes and continues to nurse her drink. One of the frat bro's winks at her. The party has a strict rule on no phones and even had checked the two of them at the door. Vae's been to parties with no phones before done to encourage people to mingle, but this must be one of her the most boring places she's ever endured it.

"Cheating and shit is below my paygrade." Penny informs him. Vaeh hyper focuses on this part of the conversation while pretending to be caught in the song. She doesn't know much about many of Penny's cases, but she can agree that seems to be out of Penny's wheelhouse.

"So, what then?"

"Bounty reconnaissance, sometimes enforcement." Penny adds an eerie smile on her face, her eyes flash darkly, and she looks the most intimidating she has since Vae first met her.

Vaeh is confused at her sudden mood shift until—

"So, if you don't remove your hand," Penny's voice drips cold, "you'll see what kind of enforcement I'm capable of."

~***~

"How much longer?"

Penny narrows her eyes as she continues to look for her target. The bros and the dudes are all high fiving each other loudly while a bunch of partnered sorority girls giggle in a corner.

"Trust me, this is not how I want us to spend our Friday night." Penny smiles at her briefly.

"As long as we don't get assaulted—"

"— again."

"— assaulted again. Or roofied. Or both in that unfortunate order." Vae murmurs.

"I figured we would do some reconnaissance for an hour top. If the bounty appears you get a good look, treat you to free drinks, then we can do whatever you want. If you want to go home and get drunk off box wine and binge watch horror films, you just say the word and I'll spend a whole twenty on the booze."

"Penny Espinoza we don't need four boxes of cheap wine."

"Two each?"

"You do you, but I'll stick to one. My final assignments are due in a week."

They both fall silent for a few minutes, each getting lost in their thoughts.

"You said you enforce bounties." Vaeh starts, "Is that what all the knives are for?"

"Not always," Penny answers illusively.  

Penny's eyes fall on the stairs as a frat-bro begins a drunken stagger down the stairwell, and she notices his pallor colour and blood flowing from his left ear.  

"Wait here."  

Vaeh scrunches her face at her roommate, and "What, wait? Why would I wait, I have to see his face if I'm going to draw him."  

Penny continues to follow the possible dead frat-dude as he makes his way to the frat house door and slips out into the night. As she slips between the partygoers, Penny's one hand reaches for the door handle as the other slides behind her back for her blade.  

There are still too many people around in the front yard, but the drunken dead dude (triple D?) is down the sidewalk and heading into the park.  

"Go home, Vaeh." Penny calls out, "The scope of this assignment has changed entirely."  

"You can't just ask me to come with you on a job then tell me to go home, essentially leaving me stranded forty blocks away from it in this Den of Rohypnol." Vaeh catches her and grabs her arm.  

"I doubt that you're at risk." Penny scoffs.  

Vaeh winces, her feelings hurt as she takes a step backwards from her friend. "Wow. Nice Penelope. Real nice."  Vaeh had already removed the winter attire from her backpack and throws Penny her gloves watching as Penny catches them gracefully. She drops the bag as she slips on her peacoat.  

"I don't have time for this!" Penny finds herself begging.  

"Then let's go." Vae holds out her hand in a gesture that indicates that Penny should lead the way.    

Penny growls in frustration and stomps off ahead of Nevaeh, shoving her hands deep into her leather jacket. Vaeh exhales shakily and picks up the bag, placing it on her back before doing the same with her own hands.  

The shorter of the two watches her friend speed walk ahead, trying to make up the difference, but the triple D hasn't managed to get very far away from them.  

She shakes her head and looks down at her feet, leaving imprints in the snow.  

Vae hears it before seeing it; it sounds like a strong wind whooshing around her head, her curls getting caught behind her glasses. When she manages to pull them out of her face and looks up, she stops in her tracks.

[cleverlittlejay]

Raphael anon back once again with a hilarious thought: Family therapy with Crowley, Lucifer, Gabriel, & Micheal and it’s just so wild & the poor therapist is so confused. They assume it’s just rich people scandals & shenanigans but all of these drama queens in a room together trying to work through over 6,000 years of family issues while some poor human tries to keep everything from becoming a chaotic nightmare without the full story of what’s going on is infinitely funny to me.

hello, anon! this was such a delight to write! also, fun fact, i’m a psych major and took one (1) intro to counseling psych class, but that actually helped in writing this, so that was fun! This is also super long (1k words!) so it also goes under a read more. (another fun fact: i stole the name Dr. Martin from Lucifer on Netflix because why not.) 

(one more fun fact, i genuinely hate the Neflix!Lucifer stereotype that a psychiatrist who went to med school would be a therapist. it’s two different fields. ok sorry, it’s fic time)

Dr. Martin was good at her job. She worked hard to become a therapist, and she genuinely believed that she could help her clients. It’s why she started her private practice. 

Her next appointment was a family therapy session. She briefly wondered how her secretary forgot to mention that she had an appointment or that she had new clients at all, but these mistakes happen. Sometimes computers just don’t want to work, deleting emails and not saving the clients’ last names in the file. 

The family consisted of four siblings. Lucifer, Michael, Gabriel, and Anthony J Crowley. Anthony, she learned, preferred to be called Crowley, and the other three siblings did not share that last name. 

The four siblings did not get along. At all. And they wanted to, Crowley explained, but they just couldn’t see eye to eye. 

“It all started when Mother kicked me out,” Lucifer said. “More specifically, she had Michael kick me out because she’s–”

“Because,” Michael interrupted, “you were an awful son who refused to listen to her. Causing trouble, thinking you’re better than her. Asking questions.” That last part was clearly directed at Crowley, who offered a light shrug. 

“Interrupting isn’t kind, Michael,” Dr. Martin said. “Please let Lucifer talk, and then you can say your part.”

If looks could kill, Dr. Martin would’ve died a hundred times over in her career. Michael’s glare was terrifying, but she’d seen it all before. 

The final picture was that their mother kicked out Lucifer and Crowley due to rebelliousness. The two questioned her authority and so they had to be removed before they corrupted any others. Now, after the disappearance of their mother, the siblings decided to get together again and reconnect.

A cult, Dr. Martin realized. She was working with the aftereffects of a cult. The religious names, the absolute authority, the punishment that included some kind of fire, the isolation from others, it all painted a very clear but dark picture.

She thanked them for their openness and had her secretary book their next appointment. 

Then, she realized how much she didn’t know about cults–she owned a private practice, she didn’t work with law enforcement or social services–and began her research. She read articles on cult-related family dynamics and trauma. She even called her old colleague for some direction. 

The next session, the two eldest siblings focussed on each other. As Lucifer and Michael went on, Crowley and Gabriel seemed content to watch them argue as Dr. Martin futilely attempted to control the session. 

“Even now, you’re a pest,” Michael sneered, ignoring the no-interruptions rule. “Your demons cause nothing but trouble and you barely control them.”

Inner demons were difficult to control, sometimes spiralling and causing issues in real life. It took strength to admit that you need support in fighting your battles.

Lucifer spoke before Dr. Martin could voice that. 

“Maybe you should control your angels, Michael. Always wandering into trouble, making friends with demons and then getting hurt. It’s almost as if they don’t respect your command.”

“Tell your demons to stop fraternizing with the enemy!”

“Hey,” Crowley interrupted. “I thought that sides don’t matter anymore. I can fraternize with an angel if I wanted to.”

“Now, yes, but not before,” Michael said patronizingly, as if she was leading the session rather than Dr. Martin. “But you endangered yourself and Aziraphale by being with him.”

“Not like Aziraphale was in danger,” Gabriel grumbled. “He got away with it.”

The session ended without any of the siblings making any progress. It was fine, Dr. Martin rationed. Progress is not always linear, and she needed to first create a safe space where they were comfortable speaking up. 

She also realized that her original theory was wrong. It wasn’t a cult. It was the mob. 

Different sides, angels and demons, both told that the other is the enemy. Perhaps Lucifer and Crowley disagreed with their “mother’s” rule and were punished for noncompliance. Michael was clearly the enforcer, punishing those who stepped out of line. It blurred the definition of “sibling,” but it explained the disdain that Lucifer and Michael had for each other. 

This realization led to a new line of research. The mob was harder to research from a psychological or counseling therapy perspective, and Dr. Martin ended up making even more calls to colleagues and old professors. 

“First a cult and now the mob,” her old classmate laughed. “You have some interesting clients.”

Dr. Martin refused to admit that she was wrong about the cult. No one had to know. 

She changed her strategy during their next session. The past was important to understanding a person, but perhaps it was better to focus on the present. 

“Despite everything that happened, Lucifer and Crowley being kicked out and you being forced to lead, how do you feel about Lucifer right now?” 

Michael didn’t answer immediately, which was a good sign. When she answered, she didn’t look at Lucifer or speak to him directly, but she knew that he was there and listening to her.  

“I don’t hate him,” Michael said slowly. “He’s still my brother. I didn’t have a choice, you know. I had to do it.” 

Dr. Martin could imagine the lack of choice. It was likely that if Michael didn’t do as told, she would’ve also been punished. It was coercion, and Michael couldn’t be held fully accountable. 

“I don’t hate you, either,” Lucifer said. There was a forced air of casualness around him, protecting Michael from rejection. “You’re still my baby sister. No fall can change that, Micah.”

Progress. It took three sessions and a lot of pain and bitterness, but they were making progress. Michael and Lucifer finally broke through their hard shells to admit that there is a possibility to move forward in their relationship with genuine love and affection. That kind of hope was why Dr. Martin was a therapist in the first place. 

Dr. Martin scheduled their next appointment. She was hopeful for their next session, creating an outline that would include more dialogue and encourage the younger two siblings to speak more often. The four of them had hope yet. 

Dr. Martin was good at her job. She would help bridge a 6000 year old gap of pain and misery to create a new era of peace. Not that she knew that, of course. She was just a therapist to a weird group of siblings. 

Humans, She thought in amusement, were clearly Her best creations yet.

[afaimsblog]

Wenn sich die Streaming Dienste gegenseitig ins Handwerk pfuschen

Als bekannt wurde, dass “Star Trek: Picard” bei uns nicht zusammen mit “Discovery” und allen anderen alten “Star Trek”-Serien auf Netflix verfügbar sein würde, sondern auf Amazon Prime, war vermutlich mehr als nur eine Person über diese News erbost. Nun wurde bekannt, dass der “Titans” Spin-Off “Doom Patrol” ebenfalls auf Amazon Prime zu finden sein wird und nicht neben seiner Mutterserie auf Netflix. Hier zeichnet sich offenbar zunehmend ein Muster ab, das aber nicht neu ist. Immerhin wird “Fear the Walking Dead” im wochentakt auf Amazon gestreamt, während sich die neuesten Staffeln von “The Walkind Dead” immer ziemlich genau um ihre Free-TV-Premiere herum ganz auf Netflix einfinden.

Das ganze Vorgehen ist also nicht neu, es ist aber überaus lästig, wie jeder, der schon mal versucht hat eines der Arrowverse-Crossover bei uns zu Lande sinnig anzusehen, bestätigen kann: “Arrow” und “Supergirl” sind auf Netflix zu finden, “Flash” und “Legends” auf Amazon, und über das Fernsehen wollen wir gar nicht erst sprechen. “Arrow” und “Legends” sind zur Zeit M.I.A., während “Flash” in zwei Wochen auf Pro7max zu Ende geht und gemeinsam mit dem bereits fertig ausgestrahlten “Supergirl” schon bald als DVD-Box verfügbar sein wird.

Offenbar läuft hier irgendetwas falsch, was sich aber einfach erklären lässt: Franchises werden nicht als solche verkauft sondern als Einzelprodukte. Amazon hat einfach mehr Geld geboten als Netflix, was die internationen Streaming Rechte von “Picard” und “Doom Patrol” anging, oder war einfach schneller was die Darlegung eines Angebots anging. Aber ja für unsereins ist das ärgerlich, denn die wenigstens haben genug Geld für Dauernutzung von allen Streaming Diensten, und darauf wird es über kurz oder lang hinauslaufen, denn nach dem Ende von “Maxdome” erwartet uns “Joyn” und dann scharrt da auch noch “Disney+” in den Startlöchern oder vielleicht auch nicht, aber auf jeden Fall werden es zunehmend mehr Streamingdienste und nicht weniger. Und erschwerend kommt hinzu, dass man bei uns die Produkte nicht dort findet, wo sie eigentlich sein sollten: “Lucifer” etwa wurde von Netflix übernommen, aber sowohl alte als auch neue Folgen finden sich bei uns auf “Amazon” , und wer jetzt dachte, dass das bedeutet dass “The Expanse”, deren ersten zwei Staffeln bei uns immerhin auf Neflix debütierten, stattdessen in einer Art Tauschgeschäft auf Netflix weitergeht, der wurde genauso eines besseren belehrt. Aber wenn man sich nicht mal bei Originals darauf verlassen kann, dass sie im Ausland dort laufen, wo sie laufen sollten, wie kann man sich dann bei Einkäufen irgendetwas sicher sein? Zum Beispiel waren die ersten beiden Staffeln von “Black Lightning” wöchentlich auf Neflix zu finden, aber beim Oktoberprogramm wurde die Serie im Gegensatz zu “Riverdale” nicht erwähnt, was Anlass zur Sorge gibt. Wird uns die dritte Staffel “Black Lightning” nicht mehr auf Netflix erwarten oder zumindest nicht mehr wöchentlich oder wurde die Serie bei der Veröffentlichung des Programms einfach übersehen oder kommt sie erst im November?

Fragen, auf die es keine sicheren Antworten mehr gibt. Als Normalsterblicher hat man keinen Überblick über Streamingrechte und versteht sie in Wahrheit auch kein bisschen. Sollte die neue “Lucifer”-Staffel nicht weltweit überall auf Netflix sein, wenn sie von Netflix produziert wurde? Und gab es da nicht mal das Gerücht, dass Amazon die Premierenrechte hat und zumindest die neue Staffel aber später trotzdem auf Netflix kommen wird? Ist so was wahrscheinlich oder rechtlich überhaupt möglich? Ist es möglich, dass wir die Disney+-Eigenproduktionen zuerst auf etwa Netflix sehen werden, weil es zum Premierendatum noch kein Disney+ bei uns geben wird, aber was bedeutet das dann für diese Produkte, sobald es Disney+ bei uns gibt?

Und was sollen diese neuen Amazon-Spielerein mit den ausgegliederten aber doch exklusiven Serien, für die man zahlen muss, aber doch auch noch dazu eine Prime-Mitgliedschaft braucht?

Im Grunde ist das Problem mit dem Streaming heutzutage das Gleiche wie mit dem Fernsehen. Ausländische Serien können “Kanal” wechseln, kommen mehrfach manchmal umsonst, manchmal gegen Bezahlung, und wir müssen die entsprechenden Internetseiten studieren um herauszufinden, was wo und wann kommt. Dank dem Streaming haben wir jetzt mehr Möglichkeiten die neueste US-Serie oder BBC-Produktion zu sehen, aber zugleich müssen wir auch flexibler sein. Anstatt VHS oder ein Free-TV-Sender gibt es nun die Möglickeiten: Free-TV, Pay-TV, DVD/BR-Box, Streaming auf einem Streaming Dienst, Streaming auf der Homepage des entsprechenden Senders, Erwerb einer einzelnen Digital Copy oder eines Season-Pakets - manches kostes extra, manches bezahlen wir vielleicht sogar - Amazon hat durch die digitale Vergabe der letzten “Game of Thrones”-Staffel sicherlich viel eingenommen und hat dafür positivere Reviews bekommen als SkyTicket mit seinen technischen Problemen - aber auf jeden Fall ist es anstatt leichter für uns durch die vielen verschiedenen Möglichkeiten noch schwieriger geworden den Überblick über das verfügbare Programm zu behalten und herauszufinden, wo unsere Lieblingsserien wann zu finden sind.

Und dabei hätten die Streaming Dienste uns das Leben eigentlich erleichtern sollen -  ihr wisst schon jeder kann das, was er will, wann er will, solange er will anschauen. Heute wissen wir, dass diese Idee reine Propaganda war und dem Zuseher entgegen kam anstatt dem Rechtsinhaber. Und im Grunde geht es leider nach wie vor immer noch nur darum, wovon der Rechtsinhaber am Meisten hat, und nicht darum den Konsumenten zufrieden zu stellen.

Das Goldene Zeitalter des Fernsehens war also nur ein kurzer Fiebertraum, und die Streamingblase ist bereits dabei zu platzen, und das nicht nur bei uns, aber eben leider vor allem auch bei uns.

[marvelfangirllll]

All i wanna do is watch Lucifer on Netflix but I don't have Neflix 😭😭

[sanoiro]

How do you think Neflix will save the Lucifer?

I don’t THINK, I ACT

#SAVELUCIFER @LuciferonFOX @tomellis17 @LUCIFERwriters @BRUCKHEIMERJB @lucifansgroup1 @hulu @warnerbrostv @FOXTV @LaurenGerman @dbwofficial @kevinmalejandro @LesleyAnnBrandt @hulu @TheCW @netflix #SaveLucifer @LuciferonNetflix