#Low-fat jerky
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Pineapple Teriyaki Jerky - Sweet and Savory Flavors Combined
Jerky lovers are always on the lookout for new and unique flavors that add excitement to their snacking experience. One such delightful innovation is pineapple teriyaki jerky, a perfect blend of sweet and savory that satisfies every craving. This flavor brings together the tropical sweetness of pineapple with the deep umami notes of teriyaki sauce, creating an irresistible combination. Whether you're hiking, camping, or simply need a quick protein-packed snack, this jerky offers a delicious way to refuel.
Why Pineapple Teriyaki Jerky Stands Out
Jerky comes in a variety of flavors, but what makes pineapple teriyaki unique is its exceptional balance between sugary sweetness and savory richness. The pineapple provides a tangy, fruity undertone, while the teriyaki sauce infuses the jerky with bold, salty flavors. This pairing makes it appealing to those who enjoy a snack with layers of taste. With every bite, the flavors unfold—first sweet, then savory—making it ideal for adventurous food lovers seeking something new.
Exploring Teriyaki Buffalo Jerky
For those who enjoy a more adventurous snack, teriyaki buffalo jerky is an excellent choice. Buffalo meat, known for being leaner than beef, has a rich and distinctive flavor. When paired with teriyaki, it offers a bold, savory bite with a slightly sweet finish. This variation is perfect for individuals looking for a jerky that is both satisfying and packed with protein. Buffalo jerky also tends to be lower in fat, making it an appealing snack for those following a healthy lifestyle without sacrificing flavor.
A Unique Jerky Experience
Trying different jerky flavors can be an exciting culinary adventure. With options like pineapple teriyaki and buffalo teriyaki jerky, snack enthusiasts can enjoy a range of tastes and textures. Whether you prefer fruity undertones or bolder flavors, there is a jerky out there to match your preferences. These snacks not only provide a burst of flavor but also come with the convenience of being portable and long-lasting. From outdoor activities to on-the-go snacking, jerky is a versatile and reliable companion.
In conclusion, Dale’s Wild West Jerky offers a wide selection of innovative flavors, including the crowd-favorite pineapple teriyaki. Whether you’re indulging in the sweet and savory blend of pineapple teriyaki jerky or enjoying the bold taste of teriyaki buffalo jerky, each product is crafted to deliver a satisfying experience.
#black peppered jerky#teriyaki jerky#game jerky#jerky#teriyaki buffalo jerky#beef jerky variety case#beef jerky#buffalo jerky#buffalo jerky variety pack#cactus jack's beef jerky#Teriyaki jerky#Gourmet meat snacks#Spicy gourmet snacks#Pineapple teriyaki jerky#Beef jerky#Beef jerky variety case#Natural beef jerky#Red peppered beef jerky#jerky recipe#Cactus Jack's Beef Jerky#Buffalo jerky#Buffalo jerky variety pack#Jalapeno buffalo jerky#Teriyaki buffalo jerky#Hickory-smoked jerky#Original flavor jerky#Black peppered jerky#Sweet and spicy jerky#High-protein snacks#Low-fat jerky
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Manhandle.
RQ: 'hello! i saw you mentioned in your wolverine alphabet post that logan loves his partners chubby… i was hoping you could write something nsfw with a fat & fem reader… maybe some body praise and stuff like that. that would be so good 😭😭😭 i love your fics so much💚💚💚' - @olivebebita
Pairing: Logan Howlett x F!reader
Warnings: Smut 18+ || Kinda feral Logan bc he's obsessed w/ you...pure porn no plot, some manhandling, soft dom!Logan, PiV unprotected sex, swearing, light degrading, dirty talk, cunnilingus, aftercare
A/N: I will die on the hill that Logan loves his partners chubby. Idc. I didn't have the patience to edit this ignore mistakes pleaseee. WC: 2.4k
Logan cannot stand you for one reason and one reason alone: You drive him crazy.
Why the fuck are you so soft? Why do your hips sway so much? Why are you so doe eyed and sweet smelling?
His cock twitches in his pants as he sees you talking to another mutant. Fuck. He doesn't like it. He wants you for himself. He needs you for himself.
That's exactly what he does.
He grabs you and tugs you along, you of course go with him, being so sweet and naïve...when you're alone, he practically rips your clothes off. He normally would tease and play with you more, but he can't help himself. He's too eager, his patience is diminished.
Your soft gasp when he tore the fabric from your body made his balls grow heavy and a low growl rumble out of him. You were beautiful to him, your body drove him crazy. He felt hotter than normal, like he was going to die if he didn't have you. You made the most pathetic sound when his hand pushed between your legs and felt your soft folds, his calloused fingertips finding that sweet little pearl. "Fuckin' wet for me...from rippin' y'r clothes off, huh? You like it like this? Bein' manhandled?"
You felt your face heat up and your legs trembled, threatening to give out at any second. You stammered, unable to come up with a solid reply as you pathetically tried while his thick fingers explored your folds confidently. They prodded your entrance, making you tense a bit.
"Y'r tight, my damn finger has a hard time gettin' in here...how are you gonna handle my cock, princess?" he grabbed your face with his free hand, tilting your head up as he kissed you. His lips were warm, the taste of cigar and whiskey on them, a hint of salt and jerky. You melted into his kiss, even though he was claiming you this way. His tongue pushed into your mouth, invading you and exploring every inch as if he owned you. His teeth gently bit your bottom lip, he didn't want to overwhelm you too much, not yet anyway.
"That's it...whimperin' for me...you love this, I can tell by how wet you are. Can't imagine my cock in there...it's so tiny...have you ever been fucked before?" he grunts deeply in your ear, the sound making your entire body react as you shake. Your nipples erect and feeling stimulated by the fabric of his shirt as he stands close enough to rub against you.
"Logan...I...mmn, I have I just...-"
"You've never been with me baby, I'll show ya what a real man can do. I know when y'r fakin' too, you won't have to do that with me." He chuckled, his hand moving away from your dripping core and he grabbed your plush hips, lifting you up. "Goddamn...these things..." He threw you onto his bed, his hand on your belly for a moment, kneading you.
"Logan-!"
"I gotcha...just let me take care of you..." Logan's voice was gentle, but he sounded slightly condescending as he spoke to you, the clear teasing undertone made you whimper in response. His hands pawed at you like a man who had seen a naked woman for the first time, on your breasts, sides, hips. Hs grabbed your thighs, eagerly holding onto your flesh and spreading your legs apart for him. "Such a fat cunt you have, looks comfy, you'll treat my dick well won't you, sweet thing? Perfect little home for it...that's where it belongs isn't it? You're lost without my dick in you."
You squirmed below him, feeling vulnerable and exposed as he held you down. You couldn't deny how hot your pussy felt, you wanted to demand for him to stick it in, to just fuck you into the mattress, but you also didn't want to admit it, playing the game a bit. Besides, Logan was clearly enjoying how you were acting, so you kept it up.
"Ah...please..." You begged lightly, your legs falling limp and allowing him to open them wider. You felt so horny by now, Logan had a way of bringing it out of you. Your core felt like it was on fire, and you needed his touch more than air.
He placed open mouth kisses on your inner thighs, his teeth grazing the thin skin and biting your flesh teasingly. You could feel the slick, warm muscle of his tongue barely touch your sensitive skin as he continued to knowingly tease you. After his painfully slow movements, he finally got to your center, his pupils blown like he was on drugs.
Logan growled deeply, exhaling through slightly parted lips as his hands came around and held your thighs tightly. His head lowered, nose nudged your clit as this man took a deep inhale of your sex. Your face heated immediately, suddenly feeling embarrassed he was smelling you so intensely. His nose buried, your wetness covering it as he investigated further into you until he was satisfied memorizing your scent.
When he pulled up, he barely pulled away for you to say something about his little display and his lips latched onto your clit, knowing exactly where it was after mapping out your cunt mentally. He was torn between making you squirm and beg, or just taking what he wanted. You were intoxicating to him, he hadn't felt his cock throbbing to painfully before, patience was not an option right now.
You made the sweetest sound for him when his encased your clit in his mouth, his lips securing around that pretty pearl and he lightly sucked on it. His firm hands held you still while you naturally squirmed around from the stimulation, keeping you down even when you tried to buck into his mouth more. Logan pulled back enough for his breath to warm your swollen bud, and he grunted, "Stay still. You don't get to move. I'll make you cum, I'll decide when you've had enough."
The tiny whimper that left your trembling lips was enough encouragement, but he wanted to push a little more. So, the smug bastard leaned up and over you, glaring down, his wet lips shining against the dull light of the room peering through his always drawn curtains. Still, when the warm sunlight did peek through, he looked gorgeous.
"Say it. Say you understand."
"I...I understand..." you swallowed the thick lump in your throat, not realizing how tight it felt until you spoke again. He smirked down at you, his eyes raking over your form and he let his hands knead your body a bit more. "So soft...perfect for me. I can really throw you around hm? You can take it..." he groaned as he felt your body, his hands moving up to your breasts and holding them, massaging and pinching your nipples like an eager virgin.
Logan moved down again, his mouth drooled as he took your clit once more, his tongue lapping and teasing the bud before dipping inside your entrance. He tasted you, groaning like an animal at your taste as his tongue went deeper. You hooked your leg around his shoulder and pulled him closer, finding a loophole in keeping your hips still.
Luckily for you, he enjoyed it enough to allow it.
"Stop squirmin' princess...I've almost gotcha ready." He continued to work your pussy until he felt like you were ready enough. He pulled away and licked his lips, "Now...open those pretty lips." he swiped his fingers over your folds and then held them to your pouty face. "You're such a dirty girl...doing everything I say, aren't you?"
He lightly spanked your pussy, then pressed his dick into your folds and rubbed to slicken himself. When did he take his pants off?
You were interrupted when his fat head poked your entrance, forcing you to stretch out around the soft flesh and allow him in. You mewled desperately, the burn of it was so addicting. "Lo...Logan..!"
"Shh, sh, you can take it." he whispered and pushed until his head popped inside. You gasped, just his head made you feel dizzy. And he kept going.
Inch after inch.
You were squirming and crying softly, he was so big, ugh it felt amazing but overwhelming all at once. "L-Lo..Logan, I..aah," you blabbered, his thumbs swiped your temples as he chuckled down at you, his body keeping you warm. He pressed his scruffy cheek into yours so he could whisper to you while his hips rocked against you, his wet head smacking gentle, sloppy kisses to your swollen cervix.
"Shh, good girl, gooood girl," he praised you in a low, soothing tone, his voice contradicting what his body was doing to you. You felt like you were on fire, pleasure was shooting through every inch of you while that delightful burn remained as strong as ever. "Y'r doin' good...so good. Takin' all of me inside ya...knew you could."
Logan's hips moved faster inside you, driving himself in and out at a much better pace for the both of you. He held your legs up and watched himself move in and out of you, admiring the beautiful arousal that coated into his curls. He deliberately made slow, long thrusts so you could feel the mold of his cock perfectly.
Every vein, the plush head, how his cock formed your velvet walls and made you adjust.
It was everything you could've wanted from him.
While you memorized the shape of his dick, he suddenly threw your legs around his waist and he leaned over you, causing your hips to come up and off the bed a little. He began to drive himself inside at an animalistic, rough pace while he held you. His teeth bared as he let out the deepest snarl you ever heard from him. "You make me fuckin' wild, baby...look what y'r doin'...I'm actin' like how I should. A fuckin' animal."
You sobbed lightly from the overwhelming pleasure he was giving you, his cock hitting that delicious spongy spot inside that made you see stars. "Logan!! M'gonna cum...!" you cried, your fists balling the sheets by your head as you let out all your little sounds you tried to hide.
There was no reason to hide them anymore, honestly.
He kept going just as he was, knowing his movements and pace were perfect for you. "That's it...yeah baby, cum on my cock, show me how much you like it, milk my cock." Logan held your hips firm, his fingers dug into your flesh as he focused on his thrusts, driving deeper and deeper.
You finally let out a strangled cry, your vision blurring as your body released around him, clamping down on his dick like a vice and almost messing up his rhythm. "G-goddamn-"
"I'm cumming, fuck! Don't stop, keep going, keep fucking me!" you screamed desperately, reaching you and clawing his shoulder blades, your hips rocking against his thrusts as your mind just focused on riding out your orgasm for as long as possible. He moved with you until he finally let loose, one single thrust in and his cock swelled and exploded against your pretty cervix, spraying his cum inside and filling up your little hole. He dripped out of you as he continued to fill you up, cum squeezing past his cock plugging your pussy, but the sheer amount of it couldn't be contained completely.
Logan's chest rose and fell quickly, his skin in a thin sheen from sweat, as was yours, and you both stilled as you regained your breaths together. You were in a complete daze, your mind foggy from pleasure and good hormones, his dick still buried inside you and felt so right.
"Good girl...fuck, my girl." he grumbled and nudged your head to the side with his own, kissing your jaw. "Did so well...down we go, easy," he lowered your legs while speaking to you gently, pulling himself from your body and watching as his cum flowed out of you. You whined at the absence of him, he just tsked and shushed you.
"Ah, don't give me that...we have to get you cleaned up. Be good for me, and I'll make sure you're nice and cozy after." Logan chuckled at your dazed expression, lifting you up a bit and smirking at how you whined into him.
"Logan....noo, just a little longer..." You pleaded lightly, trying your best to convince him, but he was not going to give in. Instead he picked you up with ease, your weight didn't bother him in the slightest, and he carried you to the bathroom.
"Clean first, then we can lay all you want." He set you down in the bathroom, knowing you were very exhausted by now and most likely coming down from your orgasm high, so he made the clean up quick. His touches were gentle, carefully washing the rag over your body and between your legs, getting all the sticky cum washed away. He stood behind you and kissed the nape of your neck, giving you goosebumps even under the hot water. "Doin' good for me...keep it up, we're almost done princess..."
When you were finally finished, you were so relieved to lay on the clean bed. Your body was much more worn out than you thought, before you collapsed, your legs trembled and almost refused to hold you up. You snuggled into the sheets, smelling heavily of Logan plus a hint of the earthy cologne he rarely wears.
He joined you a few minutes later, his strong arms wrapped around you and held you close. His hand slowly caressed up and down your side, gently squeezing and massaging you. His presence and the tiredness hit you after cleaning, and the drop of hormones made you want to sleep. Your body turned towards him, your face burying in his chest as you let out a shaky breath.
"Easy...I gotcha...sleepy girl. Go on and take a nap, I'll stick with ya until you wake...promise." He kissed the crown of your head and held you firmly against him, knowing you were going to fall asleep any second. You drove him so wild but he also felt a strong need for you in other ways. He wanted you for himself in every shape and form, you were so beautiful, and he would make sure you believed it and saw yourself as he did.
If he couldn't convince you with words, well...he can always fuck you again and make you see.
Thanks for reading ily.
Dividers by @/strangergraphics
#logan howlett#wolverine#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett smut#wolverine smut#wolverine xmen#deadpool and wolverine#x men#logan howlett x you#wolverine x you#🎠my works
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low cal foods and my safe foods/ingredients:
(to remind myself when i go shopping so i don't panic and forget what to buy, *next to one means i haven't tried it yet but will try it eventually)
long list and i will most likely keep adding as i remember things :3
*kraft fat free shredded cheddar/mozzarella cheese (45c per 28g)
*great value cheese slices (30c per slice/21g)
philadelphia whipped cream cheese (50c per 22g)
*great value whipped cream cheese (50c per 21g [^^cheaper option])
hersheys unsweetened cocoa powder (10c per 5g)
choboni zero sugar lactose free strawberry greek yogurt (70c per 170g)
starkist tuna pouches (70-110 per pouch depending on flavor [ones not in oil])
hy-vee tuna pouch (60c per pouch)
starkist deli style tuna salad pouch (80c per pouch)
great value chicken pouch (70c per pouch)
ice sparkling water (5c per bottle)
c4 energy drinks (0-10c per can depending on size and flavor)
mission zero carb mini original/sriracha ranch tortillas (25c per 18g)
bettergoods keto wheat bread (30c per 28g)
great value cauliflower rice (15c per 76g)
great value frozen sliced carrots (30c per 85g)
great value frozen broccoli florets [32 oz bag] (25c per 85g)
great value frozen cauliflower (30c 85g)
great value frozen strawberries (50c 140g)
great value frozen blueberries (70c per 140g)
*wymans blueberry strawberry banana/yogurt strawberry raspberry bite cups (40c per cup)
great value eggs (70c per egg)
great value frozen small shrimp peeled and tail off (80c per 112g)
great value frozen chopped onions (35c per 85g)
jongga vegan kimchi (10c per 28g)
oceans halo seaweed (20g per pack)
pantry basix sweet teriyaki (5c per 15ml)
cucumbers (15c per 100g)
dannon light and fit yogurt cups (50c per cup)
miracle whip light mayo (20c per 15g)
kraft lite ranch (60c per 32g)
lee kum kee sriracha (5c oer 7g)
clover valley dijon mustard (5c per 5g)
*great value oven roasted turkey breast slices (50c per 56g)
marketside classic iceberg salad (15c per 85g)
vlasic kosher baby dill pickles (5c per 3 pickles)
great value unsweetened applesauce (50c per 122g)
torani sugar free coffee syrup (0c per 15ml)
*maple grove farms sugar free maple syrup (5c per 30ml)
crazy richard's peanut butter powder (50c per 12g)
*smuckers sugar free jam/preserves (10c per 17g)
great value sugar free jello (20c per box)
hyvee instant chicken bouillon powder (5c per 4g)
quaker lightly salted rice cakes (35g per rice cake)
laughing cow light cheese wedges (25c per wedge)
for you bagged radishes (10c per 75g)
*jell-o sugar and fat free vanilla/white chocolate/banana cream pudding mix (80c per box)
bettergoods unsweetened vanilla/original almond milk (30c per 240ml)
marcel's modern pantry unsweetened oat milk (20c per 240ml)
jack links teriyaki/original/sweet & hot mini jerky pouches (50c per pouch)
*skinny pop butter popcorn (140c per bag)
*skinny pop original/white cheddar popcorn (150c per bag)
*gerber toddler trays (120-160c per tray)
*gerber toddler pick-ups (60-140c per bowl)
gerber baby puffs (25c per 7g)
gerber yogurt melts (30c per 7g
gerber rice rusks/teethers (30c per 7g/2 packs)
gerber lil crunchies (35c per 7g)
*little bellies apple and berry softcorn (35c per bag)
pure protein shakes (140c per bottle, 30g protein)
great value pumpkin purée (40c per 120g)
*that's smart small curd low fat 1% cottage cheese (60c per 113g)
werthers sugar free hard candy (100c per bag)
*werthers sugar free chewy caramel (130c per bag)
*werthers sugar free chocolate caramel (100c per bag)
*werthers sugar free caramel coffee (130c per bag)
#gvtz#gvtz eats#i'm ngl this took 4 hours to find/remember food and then find serving sizes and cals lmao#reblogs and comments adding more are very appreciated#ed but not ed sheeran#tw ana bløg#pro for ana#tw ed ana#ana loves you#tw ana mia#ana y mia#tw ed implied#tw ana rant#ana omad#edn0s#ed blr#tw ed trigger#tw ed disorder#tw edtwt#i want to ⭐️rve#⭐️ ing motivation#⭐️vation goals#⭐️rving#⭐️ve#4norexla#4n0rexic#4nor3xia#tw 3d in the tags#3d relapse#tw 3d diet
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Chubformers drabble #109!
Characters: Cyclonus & Tailgate (IDW)
Word count: 1.4k
There was nothing better than a good round of relaxing yoga after a long hour of strenuous exercise, said no one ever. Except maybe Drift, or even Cyclonus, who had become rather obsessed with getting himself back into working order as of late. Tailgate wasn’t sure what all the fuss was about, but he had to admit, he was starting to like it… the nice fat aft poised inches from his face, that is.
He wasn’t much for exercise regimens when the only things he was built to do were limited to his core uses, and that wasn’t a can of ener-worms the minibot was about to pop open. Still, he hadn’t passed on the chance to join his conjux in reaching out to their old CMO’s beloved partner after their not-so-pleasant annual trip to the medibay.
They were at peace now, which meant settling in for the long haul. Of course they were going to gain a bit of weight! Tailgate had expressed this countless times to Cyclonus, who had merely glowered at the reflection in the mirror while pinching at the fat on his frame with rough fingers every time.
This wasn’t like him, he’d say, picking at the piled up plate of food during their shared refueling sessions. He wasn’t built to carry all of this excess weight. Autobot or no, he had still been something bigger, something more powerful, a time before. He could hardly stand to look at himself anymore and witness the major damage just a few months of rest had done to his slim frame.
If you asked Tailgate, all that talk was nothing more than a pile of scrap. What was there to criticize? Cyclonus was finally settling in for a life of peace, and Tailgate was right there with him. So what if they gained a little here and softened a little there?
Cyclonus cared, though, and cared deeply. If getting back into shape is what he wanted, then Tailgate would do anything everything to make it happen—all while loving on that perfectly plump frame of his, of course.
A bit of intel from First Aid meant reaching out to Ratchet who talked with his conjux, and from there, the two bots found themselves the private members of workout sessions with Drift. Tailgate did what he could to join in, but it was almost impossible to focus on straining his small body when Cyclonus was bent over in front of him.
Stretching was just as much of a struggle as the exercising had been, given their long hiatus from running for their lives or clinging to the tendrils of existence. With years of experience in stony fronts under his belt, the condensation covering Cyclonus’ frame and the tremble of jiggling thighs almost went unnoticed… but not by Tailgate—not by a long shot.
“Focus on aligning your intakes with the rhythm of your spark,” Drift was explaining, his arms thrown up in a gentle arc over his helm. “Breathe in… and breathe out. Try to touch the tips of your pedes, then relax…”
Tailgate didn’t have to be told twice, as the air left his chest all at once in a startled wheeze when that perfect pear shape bent in half. Sculpted thighs had grown twice their size in their off-time, and with every jerky movement of his conjux’s frame, those fat masses of metal and mesh scraped together, the constant chafe producing the slightest of sounds.
He was happy to support Cyclonus’ journey towards regaining his strength and endurance. Really, he was. However, Tailgate would have been lying if he said he wasn’t secretly dreaming of slotting his helm between the negative space between those legs and begging Cyclonus to squeeze.
Drift was leading them into downward dog now, and Tailgate tried to copy their movements. He watched Cyclonus carefully, his intake catching in his throat as the plump mech bent low and stuck his aft to the sky.
Primus, what Tailgate wouldn’t give to call it a day and drag them both off to their quarters. He was practically famished now, starved of those thighs locked around his face. Popping his interface array open in the middle of their exercising was probably frowned upon, but he almost couldn’t take it.
He wanted—no, needed—to bury his face in the fatty buildup of that soft pouch on the ex-Con’s belly. Proper mouth be damned, he wanted to drown himself in the lubricants of that valve while his helm was crushed between those thighs.
He needed… yes, he needed Cyclonus to bury him under the weight of his frame. He wanted to feel those plump aft cheeks against his face, and he wanted to run his servos over the soft mesh of those thighs, and he wanted to nuzzle his helm into to rolls of that belly.
It was all he could do to not outright ogle that aft. Tailgate tried to catch a peek of Drift from over his conjux’s shoulder, but the longer he stared, the harder it became not to give up and go back to admiring the jiggle of those fat aft cheeks as he struggled to hold his pose.
“Remember to breathe,” Drift chimed in again, his voice gentle. “Relax into the pose and breathe… in—“
He could hear Cyclonus’ shaky intake, the tremble of his frame drawing Tailgate’s attention right back to that aft and those thighs.
“—and out—“
Click!
…frag. Ohhh, frag.
Tailgate fell to his mat with a squeal, his concentration broken by the sound of his array. In an attempt to save face, he rushed to cover up the exposed mess of the built up tension behind previously closed panels he’d tried so hard to hide. Unfortunately for Tailgate, there was only so much that scrambling to his pedes and holding both servos in front of the dribbling tip of his spike could do to hide the fact that he had most definitely been eyeing his conjux’s fat aft instead of joining in on the exercising.
“Sorry!” he managed to say in the middle of snatching up his towel and scurrying for the door. “Sorry, so sorry!”
While Drift sat in place with a confused frown, Cyclonus was already reaching for his own towel and glaring over his shoulder at the poor minibot with a poorly concealed blush. He didn’t dare speak, especially not when Tailgate was running this way and that, an incoherent blabber of apologies following his attempts at cleaning up and hauling his aft out the door at the speed of light.
Tailgate, at least, had enough sense left in him to head straight for their quarters to deal with… well, this. He’d leave Cyclonus to do the talking with Drift over their next scheduled exercise session, or yoga session, or whatever the hell it was they had planned with his conjux that got him so wound up.
He really couldn’t help himself, especially when Cyclonus looked so fragging hot. How could he not admire a frame like that, especially when it was perched mere inches from his face?
As he stumbled out the door, his towel hanging limply from his servos and only partially covering the embarrassment of popped panels poking up from underneath, he could hear Drift’s hesitation following him in a tentative request at their next possible meetup.
“Um…” the swordsmech began, sounding as though he were trying very hard not to bring up what had just happened. “Same time tomorrow?”
He didn’t stick around long enough to hear Cyclonus’ response, but really, he didn’t need to. Another round of intensive yoga meant getting a front row seat to the beauty of that mech’s stretched frame, and despite his little oopsie today, Tailgate wasn’t about to pass up on that opportunity.
Another round with Drift sounded promising, and the minibot was already figuring out just what he would say to convince Cyclonus to let him join again. First things first, though, as he still had to figure out how to take care of his current predicament, too. The solution to that was a simple one, though, and one involving a little bit of private time in their habsuite and a lot of that perfectly jiggly aft settling down onto his face.
If Cyclonus wanted to strengthen up and get back into shape, Tailgate was all for helping him get there. Still, that didn’t come without its own conditions… and the horny little minibot was more than happy to make sure they came to an agreement.
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I wanna get even half the chest and body that you have. I know you said you basically just did push ups so I was wondering if you had any specifics. How often? How many?
Gonna use you as inspiration lmao
hey anon! i know it sounds CRAZY simple but yeah. literally just push ups at home on your carpet or hard wood floor will DO IT. whatever you find comfortable. i think pecs are SURPRISINGLY easy to get, and gay men and straight women love a nice set of boobies on a man, they really give you that "macho" look LOL so definitely try for it. you can probably get some smol but fierce tiddies in about a year.
gonna do a [read more] so i can yap to you in full detail:
if you're a complete beginner, start with like 10 push ups, if you think that's nothing and you're not fatigued yet, do more than that, like 20. keep doing that until you can do an insane amount of push ups and then stop when you start getting tired/failure. do that daily. the more the better. you can take some rest days, on those days you can like walk or jog or something to get more lean. if you consider yourself slightly overweight, definitely walk/jog daily.
and when you do push ups, make sure they're not half assed. like, when you see that skinny guy in your gym class going REALLY fast but stupidly out of form, that's probably doing nothing but injuring him LOL. go on youtube or look up an article about push ups, there are lots of evidence that prove you can get boobies with them. i learned pretty much everything from online btw, go on youtube and just look up how to get pecs at home if you're too cheap for a gym membership (like me. i don't have a gym membership)
here's a random image i found on google, don't worry about any of this other stuff in the picture for now. just do regular push ups for now and you should have results. but another thing i'm leaving out is obviously you need to eat right. try to eat like 0.7-0.8 grams of protein per pound of body weight. some protein rich foods you can eat are stuff like chicken/beef/pork/fish daily (with rice) or low fat greek yogurt, beef jerky, and buy some protein shakes at the store. almost anything protein tastes nasty to me btw but beauty is pain.
also some life hacks because my fat ass (and lazy ass) loves fast food/eating out in general, go to panda express and just get a bunch of chicken and broccoli LOL that shit has so much protein and it tastes good. goddamn. basically just consume meat daily for gains.
also ONE more thing in terms of eating [moderately] healthy (i still don't eat healthy but i try) stop drinking soda, stop drinking alcohol, stop doing drugs, just drink nothing but water, green tea, any tea you want, just make sure it has no sugar. if you crave sugar, get diet soda like diet coke (it's 0 calories) but avoid drinking too much of that because aspartame.
THIS IS A LOT OF INFORMATION but i get asked about stuff like this a lot so hopefully this is enough. LOL. i'll get asked again probably haha but oh well. and again i'm not a fitness expert, just an enthusiast. good luck. remember anon, BEAUTY IS PAIN. and youth is only temporary, so you might as well look sexy before you get old.
#HERE COMES THE YAPPER#enjoy my unsolicited fitness advice#i'm not even a bodybuilder btw but i'm glad you guys keep coming to me for advice#definitely take everything i say with a grain of salt. i'm not claiming to be an expert#do your own research but most of this stuff is just me swallowing my own knowledge back at you and i double checked everything haha#SO YEAH
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FOTFICtember - Chapter 3
A roller-coaster ride, a mushy hotdog, and a surprise in a maze...
@mysandwichranaway is working on some art for this fic! Stay tuned!
Prompts: Twilight, corn maze, lantern, mushrooms, sweater weather, amber
Pairing: Ori x OC, Bilbo x Thorin, Fíli x OC, Kíli x Tauriel
Words: 1555
Warnings:Some indecent kissing, some general anxiety, Thorin is an ass
Ori had half-expected that it had all just been a bad joke.
Yet, when he reached the small group standing, as promised, by the food carts to grab a tiny bite to eat, his own hotdog almost got stuck in his throat as Fíli waved a bunch of shiny, colourful tokens in his face.
“I’ve taken the liberty of buying the first round,” he declared and handed Ori one of the plastic coins.
The rollercoaster itself was a miserable, rickety affair that might not have stood a chance in hell to be ridden in a more elaborate setting.
As it was this small fair’s only attraction, though, the queue seemed to be endless.
Catching a glimpse of a beautiful, dark-haired girl he’d been begging to go out with him a few rows ahead of them, Fíli excused himself hastily and started pushing through the throng of people ruthlessly.
“Ah! Well…” Kyra mumbled.
“He really did mean it when he said that he wanted to show you a good time,” Kíli assured her. “He might just not do it himself.”
Sucking her teeth, Tauriel reached over to take the young woman’s hand and squeeze it comfortingly. “I’ve got you, girl. You can ride with me—I want to see how they jam their fat asses onto the tiny bench.”
“Ey…I thought we were going to make out throughout the whole ride?” Kíli protested, spearing Ori with that steely look he’d inherited from his mother.
“Yes, erm, yes,” Ori waffled, aghast to realise that he’d forgotten all his words when he needed them most. “If that would be agreeable, I’d be honoured to ride with you, of course.”
When she turned to him, black eyes sparkling with mirth, he swallowed heavily. Kyra had always been so disarmingly beautiful, and he’d never found the courage to tell her.
Year after year, summer after summer, he’d sworn to his friends and himself that, next time, he’d ask her to go to the local ice cream parlour or walk the maze with him, but he never had.
And then, she’d stopped coming.
It had taken him months to work up the courage to ask Bilbo about it, and the answer had been less than heartening, so he’d let it be.
As he now shuffled onto the uncomfortably hard bench of the creaking wagon beside her, he could hardly believe that she’d returned at long last.
“I don’t think you remember me,” he started quietly, interrupted by the screeching of the brakes being loosened and the lurching start of the ride.
“Nonsense,” Kyra chuckled. “It took me a mere second to place the name. You’ve grown up well, I must say.”
“How do you mean?” Ori asked, horrified to hear that his voice was not unlike the squeaking of the worn rails beneath them.
“Forget it,” she grinned and turned her pale, radiant face into the fading light as they started the jerky ascent to the laughably low apex of the woefully short track.
Ahead of them, Kíli and Tauriel were cheering and laughing as they sped downhill, exchanging messy kisses in between exaggerated hoots.
“Hold on tight; this might be a bumpy ride,” Ori warned.
When she gave him a slightly panicked look, he slung his arm around her body and pulled her closer against his own. “Hold on,” he repeated.
Nothing could have prepared him for the fact that, instead of grabbing the ramshackle handlebar, she’d throw her arms around his torso and bury her face in the crook of his neck.
As much as he’d not wanted to go on the ride in the first place, Ori now desperately wished that their shabby wagon would never stop grinding along the rails.
Kyra was soft and warm against him, and the smell of her perfume made him feel as if he’d grow wings himself to fly into the darkening evening sky never to come down again.
Twilight was upon them, and lights flared up across the landscape like mysterious mushrooms—it would soon be time to set out for the bonfire.
Despite his better knowledge, Ori wondered whether Kyra would let him hold her again even after they’d left this hellish contraption.
“You exaggerate,” Ori heard Fíli say. Only then did he notice that they’d stopped.
The grumpy teen operating the ride looked at them with bored impatience and evident incredulity.
“Come on out, Uncle will kill us if we’re not there to canoodle in his maze,” Fíli added, holding the hand of the fair maiden he’d so indefatigably wooed proudly.
“Bombur is cooking,” Tauriel interjected. “Save your money and your gut health! Don’t waste either on more of the trash they’re selling here!”
“Oh, I know,” Kyra laughed breathily. “Bilbo has been baking for days—I’m looking forward to sampling his creations.”
Thus, they set out towards the forest, only to come up short at the entrance of a corn maze.
“We’ve lost the organisers in action,” Bofur informed them with a wink. “Take a lantern and go on your merry way! Two by two, please. Otherwise, it’s no fun.”
This time, there was no question about how they’d split up.
As soon as they were off, though, Ori couldn’t help but notice that Kyra was rubbing her arms while walking rather fast.
“The weather’s turned, huh?” he said sheepishly.
“Sweater weather,” she agreed, her full lips somewhat pale.
As pretty as her sundress was, it did little to keep the biting chill in the air at bay. Thankfully, Ori’s brothers insisted on him being wrapped up like an egg about to hatch at all times, so he shrugged out of his jacket to take off his thick, woollen pullover.
“Take this—we don’t want you to catch your death out here. It will be warmer by the fire,” he said hastily, afraid that he was crossing a line.
He should not have worried for Kyra took the garment gratefully and slipped into it at once—she looked painfully adorable as she was nearly swallowed by the oversized item hanging from her curvaceous frame.
“You’re a true gentleman,” she praised with a small, soft smile, and took his hand to pull him on.
The lanterns they’d been given were detestably dim and weak to avoid and prevent any potential fire hazard, so it was slow going.
More than once, they found themselves turned around and cornered, but—chatting amiably about old times—they didn’t mind retracing their steps and losing their time at all.
Suddenly, a strange noise made Ori still, trying to push Kyra behind him as he lifted their sorry excuse of a light source higher.
“Your eyes are liquid amber,” she gasped, evidently unfazed by the odd smacking sound coming from a corner plunged in deep shadows. “You’re so handsome!”
“My…what? Who goes there?” he called, feeling fiercely protective of the cheery woman for whom he held himself responsible until he could return her to her uncle’s care. He’d heard enough horror stories about the terrible things that could befall sweet creatures such as her in dark, secluded corners.
He’d not let anything happen to her, he vowed, desperately trying to push aside her last comment lest it distract him fatally from the situation at hand.
A moment later, the very uncle he’d been thinking of appeared, dishevelled and flushed.
“Uncle Bilbo?” Kyra gasped. “What has happened to you? Are you quite all right? You look a little…put out.”
“All is well,” Bilbo assured them. “Are you enjoying the maze?”
To make matters even more confusing, he was joined by Thorin—looking just as red-faced and unkempt—a second later.
“We were just checking…if everything was safe.”
“And is it?” Kyra asked in a strained voice before she burst into laughter. “I truly believed that the canoodling part Fíli mentioned was but a figure of speech, but…who am I to doubt the validity of your beliefs?”
Without further ado, she whirled around and planted a resounding kiss onto Ori’s half-open mouth.
“Whatever Gods or spirits you pray to tonight, I hope that they’ll hear my earnest wishes as well. Did I do this right?” she crowed in boundless hilarity.
Rubbing his forehead in embarrassed exasperation, Bilbo gave a long sigh. “You wild, headstrong child!” he chided. “What did you think these cul-de-sacs were for?”
“We have no time to lose,” Kyra replied with a shrug. “Our friends are waiting, and I’m starting to feel quite peckish.”
Ori, meanwhile, merely stood there—thunderstruck and silent—like an oaf. She’d simply kissed him, square on the lips, as if there was nothing to it, and he couldn’t wait to see if she’d do it again.
Bonfires were romantic, right? They could huddle for warmth on a nice log, and he could put his arm around her.
Emboldened and set aflame by her enthusiasm and generosity, he graciously agreed not to tell anyone about what they’d witnessed, and they went on their merry way once more.
“Shame,” Ori heard Bilbo say. “I’ve heard there was quite a lump sum in their betting pool.”
“I know,” Thorin chortled. “I say we take the pot and go on a nice holiday together.”
“What day did you choose?” Bilbo asked tersely.
“Tonight. And you?”
“Tomorrow!”
They both laughed heartily, the sound following the two youngsters until Ori finally glimpsed the exit ahead.
↳ Masterlist
@fellowshipofthefics here's the third chapter of my fic for September!
Lots of love from me! <3
#og post#FOTFICtember#Fotfics#fotfic september challenge#Chapter 3#Twilight#corn maze#lantern#mushrooms#sweater weather#amber#Bilbo#Thorin#Bagginshield#Thilbo#Thorin x Bilbo#Bilbo x Thorin#Autumn story#kissing#cute#Ori x OC#Fíli x OC#Kíli x Tauriel#Kiliel
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I've had to adjust my diet a lot since finding out I have gout a few years back. it's another trial-and-error thing since foods affect people differently.
Here's what I've had to 100% give up: Hot dogs, all non-fountain sodas (except natural sugar sodas), canned chili, kielbasa, basically all high-fructose corn syrup foods & drinks, carls jr burgers (all others don't seem to bother me), tuna, beef jerky, & white rice. These are all things that get my joints hurting like 5-10 minutes after eating/drinking them.
I used to drink about 1 liter of canned soda a day, and was pretty surprised how easy it was to kick. I started drinking just one small glass with dinner and then stopped and drank water. Since I found out HFCS affected me so much and stopped having it, I found that I'm able to detect by taste if it's in something. I had cool whip on something a few weeks ago, not having checked the ingredients, and was able to taste it. The only way I can describe it is like an artificial "extra" flavor. Like sugary plasticy fat or something.
There's a fair amount of stuff I can eat that is generally prohibited, as long as I don't eat a lot of it. Turkey and shrimp are things I thought I'd have to give up completely but seem okay in moderation. They're things I never ate often anyway.
I've read that even the bad foods that don't affect you immediately can have negative effects over time though. I take allopurinol, which is a medication that helps keep uric acid levels in check. I get my levels tested regularly (about every 3 months), and I'm usually in a good range. My doc has adjusted my dosage a few times. There was a time he actually suggested stopping the medication because I was doing so well, which I did, but my levels spiked at the next visit. I'm taking a fairly low dosage now. I also have colchicine, which is a med I can take if my gout flares up, but was told that it's bad for the kidneys, so I only take it if I get a significant flare which I'm glad to say is very rare.
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in other news just stuffed kongs (canned dog food, low fat greek yogurt, canned green beans, chicken jerky) and both dogs decided to have naps about it instead, 10/10 dog training
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89th Batch Of Fics: 4th Fill
Hanzo/Cassidy – Off Limits AU – timeskip; unreliable narrator – Everybody is aggressive and miserable. It's an Alpha's world.
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There’s a crash and a thud and Cole whips around, one hand shooting to steady himself against the edge of the bar to see Hanzo has shot up and off his stool at last. He’s got his palm wrapped around Florian’s throat and has him slammed against the top of the counter, the young Alpha’s back twisted in a way that makes Cole’s own back muscles spasm briefly in sympathy.
That one would bruise.
The bar falls completely quiet as everyone stills, just as surprised by the sudden outburst of violence as Cole is. The silence is interrupted by the low, rumbling growl pouring out from Hanzo and the choked almost puppy whimpers coming from Flower as he claws at the hand around his throat, trying to dislodge the fingers. His face is already turning an alarming shade of red from lack of oxygen.
Through clenched teeth, Hanzo grits out: “Never touch me again. I’m not one of you sick fucks. Are we clear?!”
His gaze briefly flicks over the other Alphas collected, his eyes looking like two black holes sitting in the middle of his face. Completely void of anything like sympathy or human understanding. Cole shudders, his nails digging harder into the soft wood he’s clutching at. Hanzo looks unhinged.
His eyes fall back on the other young Alpha in his grasp, and, realizing that he’s making it difficult for the other to reply, he marginally loosens the grip he has on his throat. The answering confirmation that yes, he’s understood, loud and clear, sorry, sorry, sorry – is accompanied by a whole show of submissiveness; little whines, eyes turned away, his chin tilting awkwardly to show off a throat that is already being attacked.
Hanzo’s lip lifts, showing off his canine in an aggressive display of complete disgust. He suddenly lets go of Flower as if burned by his skin and shakes out his hand for good measure before standing up straight and making first sure his hair, then his clothes are in perfect condition.
Once more he looks over the Alphas present. They’re all some varying degrees of drunk and dumb, but none of them is dumb enough to make a peep and try to stand out of the crowd.
For a split second, Hanzo’s soulless glare lands on Cole. He doesn’t have enough time to react one way or the other before the connection is lost as quickly as it had been established, Hanzo’s face pulling into an odd little micro expression before he turns on his heels and makes his way out of the bar, his temporary retainers scrabbling to follow after.
Cole is the first to move, peeling off the bar and crossing the space in four long strides, though a few minutes later he wouldn’t be able to tell how he made it there when he’d not been able to even feel his legs. He peers out of the window as behind him the Alphas finally thaw from their tense positions and start murmuring amongst themselves.
Cole can see Hanzo standing in the light thrown out by the bar, not acknowledging any of the men awkwardly standing around him. He’s pulling out a pack of cigarettes, shakes one out and lights it before he starts to walk away with oddly jerky motions.
His hands had been trembling hard enough that he hadn’t been able to light the smoke on the first try but Cole does not think anybody noticed.
.o.
Cole is a dumb fuck, but he’s not that dumb. He knows when to keep his eyes and ears open and just be good and aware of his surroundings, and in the coming days, he’s doing just that. Being not dumb under the veneer of a useless drunk bastard that is slowly getting his purpose pulled out from under his fat ass by a pretty young thing that can do what he does – only far better.
He’s got a lot of time on his hands. When just a few weeks before he’d be stumbling from one cumdrunk asshole to the next, he now barely has to give out a handjob or two in a day, leaving him to just sit in the shadow, quietly sweat in the Texan heat, and watch.
It should be relaxing, he supposes. Like some kind of vacation because he’s also stopped doing the few other chores he usually should be doing and nobody was getting on his case for it, but… well. It doesn’t feel relaxing at all. It doesn’t feel like a vacation. It doesn’t feel like people are letting him off the hook just for the shit of it but because something will be happening soon.
He can feel the eyes of the other Alphas but whenever he throws them a crooked-toothed smile, they only wave him off and are on their way. Not staying to mingle and to talk, just… existing. Watching. Appraising.
Cole feels queasy. He wishes the other shoe would simply drop, but it doesn’t. So he is stuck pretending like he doesn’t know something is off and something is about to happen, and just watches Hanzo. Trying to figure out what’s up with that bundle of nerves and anxiety is a job in and off itself.
Once he’s gotten his bearings and calmed himself down from the odd barrage of emotions upon seeing him after such a long time, he can say, objectively, that something is up with the pup. The way he moves and talks is downright mechanical, his scent tightly reigned in like he doesn’t want even a molecule of his touching up to anybody outside his bubble.
It’s not entirely outside of his usual MO, but it’s dialed up to a degree that is plainly ridiculous.
He’s been closed off and apprehensive when he noticed Cole coming on to him all that time ago in the hotel they met in, but he’s been calm and self-assured enough to just go with the flow and dominate the other Alpha.
He’s enjoyed it. Cole had been able to see that without needing to second-guess himself.
Now, though, there’s not that simple standoffishness of a young Alpha not wanting to seem weak and never having thought of fucking another Alpha. It’s something much more volatile. His little stunt in the bar had been plenty impressive. Nobody dared to mouth off in his general vicinity; Florian kept a wide berth and usually just fled the scene upon the faintest trace of the foreign Alpha.
Cole doesn’t try again to step into Hanzo’s space or get the other to notice him, but he is also not scurrying away like a little animal sensing a predator. He just watches and assesses and wonders when that sweltering tension is going to rip open wide.
.o.
In all the time that Clint had been the boss of them now, he and Cole had come to… an understanding? Something like that?
Cole behaved and Clint would not fuck him up.
They’re fifty and sixty now and have been doing their little song-and-dance for a good thirty years. It works. Cole hasn’t lost any more limbs to the hard-as-nails Alpha.
He’s still scared fucking shitless of him.
Especially when he just stands there, his face rigid with a frown, his hands hidden behind his back where Cole can’t fucking see what he’s up to.
“Ah, Cassidy. Just the man I’ve been meaning to talk to. It’s a good evening tonight, right? Clear sky. Not too hot.”
He smacks his lips, pretending to think for a moment, then jerks his head over his shoulder. “Come.”
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How To Lose Weight Fast For Women – 10 Best Ways
If you are wondering how to lose weight fast at home, the thing is that it can get tricky — especially if you are a woman. Menopause, hormonal ups and downs, childbirth, surgery, medications, and body types can cause sluggish metabolism. If you are worried about how to lose weight fast in a healthy way, then fortunately, there are ways in which you can put your body into fat-burning mode by following certain ways. Continue reading the article below to know the 21 best tips for weight loss.
Eat Mindfully
1. Have You Tried Intermittent Fasting?
No? You must! Intermittent fasting or IF works wonders for women (and men).
According to a YouGov survey conducted among 1,241 adults in the United States, a majority of Americans have made changes to their diet for weight loss (56%) or to improve their physical health (54%). Among those who have attempted intermittent fasting for weight loss, nearly 87% claim it to be very effective (50%) or somewhat effective (37%) in helping them shed pounds. Additionally, individuals who have tried intermittent fasting perceive it to be more affordable (80%) rather than costly (18%).
Talk to your doctor before trying intermittent fasting if you have diabetes, hypoglycemiai , high blood pressure, or any other medical condition.
Note: This diet must always be done under the supervision of your dietitian. If done incorrectly, you may not see the desired results even though it is accepted as the fastest way to lose weight for women by many. The actual plan would vary from person to person.
2. Proteins, Fats, And Dietary Fiber – The Best Combo
A suitable diet is a major factor in determining the effectiveness of your weight loss plans. What you eat reflects on your body and thus you must do your research and watch what you eat to achieve the best results. That said, it is important to know how different diet plans affect your body differently. The graph below illustrates how some basic diets affect your total body weight.
3. Drink Enough Water
If you are wondering how to achieve fast weight loss at home for females, this is a simple yet effective way. Hydrate yourself. The lack of sufficient water intake might be one of the reasons you are not losing the unwanted flab. Water helps to hydrate your body and flush out toxins. This, in turn, helps boost metabolism and promotes weight loss.
4. Practice Portion Control
Portion control is key to losing weight without depriving yourself of delicious foods. It essentially means limiting the amount of foods you consume. Controlling your portions can help you shed the pounds like magic.
You can also enjoy high-calorie foods in limited amounts. But you must maintain your total daily calorie intake. If you are supposed to consume 1500 calories per day to lose weight, make sure that you do not cross that limit.
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5. Get Low On Sugar And Salt
Both sugar and salt are killers in high amounts. And guess what? Most of us are guilty of consuming too much sugar and salt in our food.
Excess salt in food causes water retention in the body. If not kept in check, it might cause your blood pressure to shoot up. On the other hand, excess sugar increases sugar levels in your blood, causes insulin resistancei , and gets stored as fat in your body.
Avoid adding too much salt and sugar in your food. Also, beware of hidden salt and sugar in potato wafers, fries, fried chicken, pickles, jerky, sausages, soda, cakes, pastries, ice cream, cheese, buttermilk, salted nuts, garlic salt, celery salt, barbeque sauce, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, ketchup, sweet chili sauce, and chocolate.
6. Artificial Sweeteners? No Way!
If calorie counting was the only thing that mattered for weight loss, you wouldn’t gain weight drinking diet soda. There are numerous scientific studies that discourage you from consuming artificial sugar. Here’s why.
It might cause weight gain and brain tumor (8). There is no conclusive evidence that artificial sweetener has health benefits.
The report also says, “Pregnant and lactating women, children, diabetics, migraine, and epilepsy patients represent the susceptible population to the adverse effects of NNSi -containing products and should use these products with utmost caution (9).”
We advise you to avoid consuming artificial sweeteners. Use honey, jaggery, and dark brown sugar instead.
7. Careful With The Sauces And Dressings
Sauces and dressings need special mention. Although the problem is the same – high salt, sugar, food additives, and food preservatives – they need special mention because we do not pay attention.
Salads, fries, roast chicken, nachos, and all things delicious are because of dressings and condiments. If you take a quick look at the food labels, you will be surprised to know the amount of salt and sugar they contain. Look for chemicals like monosodium glutamate, aspartame, sodium sulfite, high fructose corn syrup, sulfur dioxide, potassium bromate, butylated hydroxyanisolei (BHA) and butylated hydroxytoluenei (BHT).
8. Limit Alcohol Consumption
Don’t get me wrong. Once in a while, it is perfectly fine. Avoid consuming it every day and/or in excessive amounts. Alcohol gets converted into sugar in the body, which gets stored as fat if you do not burn it by working out.
Alcohol also causes dehydration, thereby slowing down your metabolism. Have a glass of wine if you really feel like it. Avoid frequent heavy drinking.
9. Detox Once Every Week
Detoxing is not an option anymore. The food habits, quality of food, weekend parties, and other lifestyle choices make detoxing once or twice a week essential.
Go on a juice diet for a day. Make sure you make the juices at home or get cold pressed juice. Do not remove the pulp if you want the dietary fiber. If you have IBS/IBD, strain out the pulp.
Note: Vegetable juices are a better option than fruit juices.
10. Hungry? Do The Broccoli Test
How often do you feel hungry? If it’s too often, it’s a problem. One simple way to tell whether you are really hungry or not is to do the “broccoli test”. All you have to do is imagine broccoli when you feel you are hungry.
If you do not feel hungry after imagining the broccoli, you are probably not hungry. But if you still feel hungry, you should have a portion controlled meal.
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"I'd love to have hobbies but I'm too broke"
"Yeah sounds fun, if you have that kind of money"
"Lol out of touch. Like people just have the money for craft supplies laying around"
My loves. My beautiful humans of all varieties. I am kissing you on the forehead so gently and begging you
Do. It. Poor.
Humanity has existed for around three hundred thousand years. Money as we know it has existed for about five thousand of those years. Humans have been doing stuff without money for most of our history as a species.
Find out what resources are available in your area and get your hands on some and create something with them.
This can include things like "buy nothing" groups and construction rubbish and lengths of carpet in the dumpster behind the local flooring place. Free pallets and broken tiles and scrap fabric on marketplace and craigslist.
It can also include natural clay deposits you teach yourself to refine for pottery, and plants that can be turned into fibers and spun and woven, and minerals and husks and berries and roots and a thousand other things that can be used to make natural dyes.
I have made paper from the wood of a neighbor's tree that they had to cut down. I collected a good bit of it for my mom to do woodturning with as well and she made wooden cooking spoons and spatulas, and wooden hair pins, and pens, and some chairs.
I have knit bags made from yarn I spun from local cottonwood fluff I collected off the ground.
I have dyed paper and fabric and soaps and wood and hair using dyes made from local plants and kitchen scraps and mineral pigments I collected and ground and mixed myself. I have made my own paints and inks and paintbrushes and canvasses as well.
I have made beautiful mosaic topped side/end/coffee/bedside tables with broken tile bits and scrap wood or sometimes scrap metal.
I taught myself how to make butter and jams and bread and jerky and a plethora of other things from scratch through mostly trial and error and bothering people's grandmothers
I taught myself how to make fishooks from a variety of materials
I've made cat trees from carpet scraps and junk wood, and cat toys from feathers and fabric scraps and sticks and string (I did sterilize the feathers to avoid illness and mites and such)
I have made soap from scratch using table scraps and lye I extracted from wood ash. I have similarly made lotions, salves, balms, and tinctures from scratch from collected materials. I have made candles from both tallow and beeswax acquired for free or very low cost, acquired from local apiaries and butchers.
I have made clothes for myself and others, as well as shawls, bags, scarves, quilts and whole host of other things from free sheets, blankets, clothes, and other "trash" fabric people were either giving or throwing away because of holes or rips or stains.
I taught myself leatherworking to make bracelets and bag straps and sandals and fetish gear from scrap bits of leather, usually sourced from ripped or otherwise damaged leather jackets that were being thrown out.
I taught myself to weave wreaths cause we have pine trees here and what the fuck do you mean eighty dollars for some pine boughs and ribbon???
I spent 6 months travelling without purchasing a single night in a hotel room or purchasing a single travel ticket of any kind, picking up odd jobs and selling things I crafted from materials found along the way and ride sharing and camping (yes there was an element of danger there, but travel is always dangerous. Being alive is dangerous. Being a fat neurodivergent disabled queer afab poor person is hella dangerous. I refuse to spend my precious life isolated and afraid)
Sand paintings can be done with pine resin, natural dyes, and sand.
Makeup can be made entirely from things you can find around you in most parts of the world.
Felting can be done with pet hair.
Carving
Whittling
Cooking
Metalworking/blacksmithing
Hunting and trapping
A canoe can be made from...a tree
Please, please look at the world you are part of and realize *it will not charge you money for joy*
Look at how the native peoples of your area did the thing you want to do. Look at how other cultures have historically accomplished that thing. Pretend civilization has fallen and there isn't anyone to pay for materials and supplies. Pretend plastic doesn't exist. You are so much freer than you realize. Do it poor. Live your life. Your desire is the only permission you need in order to create, in order to have hobbies (Victor Frankenstein and Hannibal Lector I am not talking to you).
And for those of you worried about whether this applies to you, I am both poor and heavily disabled. I cannot stand or walk for longer than ten or fifteen minutes. I cannot lift more than ten pounds without *fracturing my spine*. My glasses give people migraines. I am AuDHD. You learn to work around your limitations, and accomodate yourself. I learned how to make myself a folding stool with 3 decent sized branches and some strips of leather or canvass. It is lightweight but holds all my medically obese self without issue. I put a strap on that sucker and now I have place to sit whenever I need, even if it's every few steps. I'm not on anyone else's timeframe when I am doing this stuff, I'll sit when I please for as long as I need. I learned how to make a travois for dragging stuff I can't safely lift. I got a cheap immersion blender because my shoulders can't handle the level of stirring required for soap making and several other things. I do almost everything, including furniture making, sitting down, often in my wheelchair (which I got for free and made a seat for cause it didn't have one and I couldn't afford an intact, functional wheelchair). These things can be adjusted for disability, for neurotype, for location (including inner city), for limited available time (I was working 3 jobs and raising toddlers for a good portion of this time, before I became too disabled to work). Human creativity is near limitless. Use it!
If you don't know where to start or how to find the info you need or how to accomplish your hobby for free or low cost, ask! Ask me, ask other crafty people, ask people with an interest in anthropology, ask local groups of indigenous artisans, ask the internet. Don't expect folks to construct a detailed, start to finish set of instructions for you, but they can usually point you in the right direction in terms of finding the knowledge you need, or to get you past a point you're stuck at (an affectionately exasperated older lady once emailed back with just "you didn't add vinegar to fix the dye did you?" I....had not). Not every craft or hobby will be able to done low cost (I do not know how to make a telescope sorry) but many can, more than most people think.
Capitalism is a cage for the human spirit. Slip the bars baby.
#poverty#art is a human right#crafting#natural materials#natural methods#low tech#crafting IS survival#todays life skills are tomorrows hobbies#anti capitalist
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Boiling Isles Cuisines Concept
Influences
Locals/Pre-Covens:
Varieties of ‘Smaller’ Meat Sources for less risk against larger beasts (Example: Fairies, Jackalope or Slime)
More Relies on fruits, mushrooms, herbs, and numbers of non-starchy plants.
Freshwater from natural sources as the main drink.
Low Carb, Low Fat (Mostly from ‘meat’), and mostly Proteins, Minerals, and Nutrients for magic-based performance.
Prefer to be consumed raw, partly cooked, or boiling as stew/soup. (Nutrition Conserving Values)
Imperial/Covens: Influences from 18th Century British Cuisine
Starch Carbohydrate for occasions, especially bakery. (Rice, Noodle, and most non-Bakery Flour product are not quite popular)
More refining on food. Examples, jerkies, juice, sugar, or brewed drinks.
Introducing to fermentation/pickling
Covens & Regional Sub-Cuisines
More technique, cooking tools & utensils.
Liberated/Modernized:
Earth Cuisines Approaching, especially
American
Caribbeans
East Asian
Italian
South Asian & Southeast Asian
Influences of Nutrition Sciences
De-Covenization & Emerging “Fusion” Cuisines
Earth Technology: Some Embrace, Some Against, and Some Twist
Electricity(Or Magical Equivalent) & Clean Water for All
Examples of the Cuisines
Pre-Coven
Fresh Fairy Herbal Salad: A Heterogeneous Mixed “Salad” of live fairies, sliced acidic juice, and herbs that make fairies weaks(or even passed out without dying before being eaten).
Inspiration: Goong Then “Dancing Shrimp” from Thailand/ Southeast Asian Spicy Salad/ Live Sashimi
Mushroom & Peels Stew: Leftover Fruit Peels sometimes are good to suppress the odor of some foul-smelt mushroom, give some complex flavors, and also less food waste.
Inspiration: Bowl of Browns from George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones/Worcestershire Sauce/Chinese Herbs
Fire Salamander Molt Rind: Collected Molt of Fire Salamander that fried by reaction between the chemical in it & salt, making it crispy & more edible. However, spicy & coarse, preferred as seasoning.
Inspiration: Pork Rind, Fire Flake(A:TLA), and “Cruelty-Free Meat”
Golden Snails: The freshwater snail coated & stewed in yolk & herbs/spices-based gravy that made the food look golden. Considered as delicacy for its difficulty from harvesting ingredients to cooking it perfectly
Inspiration: Salted Egg-based Stir Fried/ French Cuisine/ Thick Stew
Coven/Imperial
Fairy Pie
Bard’s Banshee Brew: Drink for the vocal-based bards to have the more enduring, yet, soft & flexible throats. (Alcoholic)
Candied Bile-Apple: Pineapple-like fruit that grew around the right feet of Titan(which have the color & smell of bile somehow, with tastes of complex saltiness, bitterness, and umami). It is candied to be consumed easier, as a health-enhancing food.
Griffon Breasts: Taste like chicken mixed with gamey beef. Usually being cooked as steak for the wealthy, like the Blights. Enjoyed with acidic “gravy”.
Liberated
Boiling Isles’ Curry Stew: Based on Japanese Curry Rice, which is cooked to be eaten by itself. It’s composed of local spices & Earth’s dried spices, protein of choices, and some vegetables (mostly not potatoes).
Nutty O’nut: Doughnut that is made of local nut-based flour & baked instead of fried. Plus, being enjoyed with hot drinks & some fruits.
PB&J (Peanut Blood & Jackalope) Sandwich: Peanut-based version “Apple Blood”, made into jam that enjoyed with Jackalope meat
Smile Dip
#the ow house#the owl house theory#the owl house headcanon#the owl house au#toh theory#toh headcanon#toh au#cuisine worldbuilding#foodbuilding#food worldbuilding#boiling isles#worldbuilding cuisine
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Jerky Time!!
No Jamil, it does not make you a cannibal XD
Berry decided to make everyone some much needed healthy snacks thus jerky mixed with fruits. (Yes Jamil watched him do it) Let these poor boys enjoy some goodies x3
Fun fact: snake meat, rabbit meat and salmon meat are all high in protein and nutrients while low in fat which makes them very healthy for you! (And if cooked a certain way, snake meat and rabbit meat can taste like fried chicken)
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These past few years, I have become a huge advocate for feeding fresh food to dogs to enhance their lives. However, you don't exactly have to transition your dog to a 100% fresh food diet in order to gain the benefits of fresh food.
Simply adding fresh food to your dog's kibble can go a long way in improving their nutrition and overall health. For instance, one study done a group of dogs in 2005 revealed that feeding vegetables just three times a week had significantly lowered their risk of developing cancer, compared to dogs who were only fed kibble.
Asian markets, in particular, have some very beneficial fresh food items that aren't typically found at your local grocery store. These food items, however, are not intended to fully replace your dog's food. Remember - too much of something good can be bad for you.
Instead, they should be offered in moderation as treats, or just small amounts topped over an already complete and balance meal. As a general rule of thumb, treats/toppers should never make more than 10% of your dog's overall diet.
Bok choy (Chinese cabbage) is full of essential vitamins and minerals needed to support a dog’s eyesight, cardiac function, digestion, bone strength, and immunity. Sulfurophane - a compound found in bok choy and other cruciferous vegetables - has been linked to inhibiting cancer cell growth, lowering blood pressure, and activating the nuclear factor Nrf2 which prevents the development of diabetes and its complications. Bok choy’s low calorie, high fiber content also make it a good option for a snack/food topper for dogs who need to control their weight.
Preparation: Lightly steam or boil for better nutrient absorption. Cooking will also help neutralize the enzyme (myrosinase) that can decrease thyroid function. You should also chop/trim their long leaves to avoid choking hazards.
Goji berries (wolfberries) are rich in amino acids, carotenoids which support healthy vision, and polyphenols that have anti-inflammatory, anti-tumor, and cardio-protective properties. Studies on goji berry supplementation in animals have shown that it has the potential to help lower cholesterol, protect the liver by increasing hepatic antioxidant activity, as well as enhance metabolic homeostasis and prevent diabetes-induced renal inflammation.
Preparation: Remove stems if still attached and cut/mash berries. If dried, soak in water until softened to avoid passing straight through the GI tract and losing the benefits of its nutrients.
Offal refers to the internal organs and variety meats of animals that can be consumed as food (i.e. lung, heart, kidney, liver, gizzard, head, feet, etc.) The word 'offal' literally translates to "fall off", and thus, whatever falls off the skeleton during the butchering process. Offal is densely loaded with essential vitamins, minerals, proteins, and fats - so small amounts go a long way. Pet owners who use these as ingredients as part of a complete and balanced recipe should keep in mind that each organ is unique in its nutrient profile - dependent on the animal it is sourced from and how it is raised. For example, grass-fed beef may contain less fat yet more vitamin A and E than grain-fed beef, and beef liver has significantly more vitamin A and copper than chicken liver.
Preparation: Boil in water or low-sodium broth. May also be baked or dehydrated into jerky treats.
Oyster mushrooms are a good source of protein and fiber, and vitamins that support healthy digestion. They can help to increase satiety and maintain healthy body weight. Oyster mushrooms are also full of pantothenic acid which help to maintain cognitive function and healthy skin/coat. Beta-glucans derived from oyster mushrooms have also been shown to reduce inflammation and strengthen immunity.
Preparation: Lightly sauté or boil in water or low-sodium broth. Raw or dried mushrooms can be difficult for dogs to digest.
Purple sweet potato (Ube or Okinawan sweet potato) are typically found in grocery stores more commonly during the fall/winter seasons. They contain more antioxidants than regular sweet potatoes due to the anthocyanins that cause their violet hue. While all potato varieties may impact blood sugar levels because of their high carbohydrate content, purple potatoes may exert less of an effect because of their high polyphenol content that decreases the absorption of starches in the intestines. In addition, they have been linked to improving blood pressure, likely due to their high potassium content.
Preparation: Peel skin and bake until soft for better digestibility and to prevent intestinal blockages. May be boiled and drained to reduce oxalate intake for dogs with a history of bladder stones, or prone to urinary issues.
Quail eggs are small, yet packed with protein and essential fatty acids, and have a higher ratio of iron, riboflavin, and vitamin b12 than chicken eggs. It is even safe and can be beneficial to feed them with the shells included for added calcium. Quail eggs have been linked to improving bone growth/healing, reducing liver damage, and increasing energy levels. While some studies have shown evidence of quail eggs treating allergies in humans and mice, they may be less likely to trigger reactions than chicken eggs in dogs who have poultry sensitivities.
Preparation: Wash thoroughly, and handle gently as they are more fragile due to their tiny size. Cooking methods are similar to that of chicken eggs, yet require less time.
Sardines contain all the amino acids your dog needs for optimal health, making it a "complete protein". They are also notorious for being rich in omegas and coenzyme q-10, which help support heart and brain health. What sets sardines apart from other fish, too, is that they are smaller and more short-lived species than larger predator fish and may have less of a risk for mercury poisoning. Because they are so small and have soft bones, you can feed them whole to your pets.
Preparation: Bake or dehydrate. If already purchased as dried, be sure to make sure there is no added salt or seasonings. If canned, preferably those stored in water only.
Sushi rice (Japanese sticky rice) has a high proportion of starch and moisture, giving it a stickier texture when cooked. Sushi rice has virtually zero fat, yet still provides a desirable balance of nutrients while remaining gentle on a dog’s digestive tract. Its higher iron content than regular rice supports healthy blood circulation and can provide more energy to dogs who are recovering from illness. Cooling/refrigerating the rice before serving also enables more retrogradation of prebiotic fiber, helping to lower glycemic responses and maximize intestinal function.
Preparation: Rinse thoroughly and soak in water (with 1tbsp apple cider vinegar - optional) before cooking. If you don’t have a rice cooker or instant pot, boil on the stove until the water is completely absorbed. May be cooked with bone broth for added flavor. You can also use small amounts of beet root powder, turmeric, or blue spirulina to add color and nutrients.
#asian markets#pet food#dog treats#bok choy#goji berries#offal#oyster mushrooms#quail eggs#sardines#sushi rice#purple sweet potato
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Essential Keto Snacks Cookbook
I apologize, but as an AI text-based model, I don't have real-time access to specific books or their contents. However, I can provide you with some general information about keto snacks and suggestions for keto-friendly snack options. Keep in mind that I don't have access to the "Essential Keto Snacks Cookbook" specifically, so I can't provide you with its contents or recipes. The ketogenic diet is a low-carb, high-fat diet that aims to put your body into a state of ketosis, where it primarily burns fat for fuel. When it comes to snacks on a keto diet, it's important to choose options that are low in carbohydrates and high in healthy fats. Here are some ideas for keto-friendly snacks:
1. Nuts and seeds: Almonds, walnuts, macadamia nuts, and sunflower seeds are all great options. They are high in healthy fats and low in carbs.
2. Cheese: Many types of cheese are low in carbs and high in fat, making them suitable for a keto diet. Examples include cheddar, mozzarella, and cream cheese.
3. Avocado: Avocado is an excellent source of healthy fats and contains very few carbs. You can enjoy it on its own or make guacamole.
4. Hard-boiled eggs: Eggs are a nutritious and filling snack. Boil a batch of eggs in advance and keep them in the fridge for a quick snack.
5. Olives: Olives are low in carbs and high in healthy fats. They make a convenient and tasty keto snack.
6. Celery with nut butter: Celery sticks paired with almond butter or another nut butter can be a satisfying and crunchy snack.
7. Keto-friendly bars: Look for bars specifically designed for a ketogenic diet. These often contain a good balance of healthy fats, protein, and low net carbs.
8. Vegetables with dip: Snack on low-carb vegetables like cucumber, bell peppers, and cherry tomatoes with a keto-friendly dip like ranch dressing or a cream cheese-based dip.
9. Jerky: Choose jerky made from high-quality meats without added sugars or preservatives. Beef or turkey jerky can be a good option.
10. Homemade snacks: If you enjoy cooking, there are many keto-friendly snack recipes available online. You can make keto-friendly cookies, muffins, or energy balls using ingredients like almond flour, coconut flour, and sugar substitutes.
Remember to always check the nutritional information of any pre-packaged snacks and ensure they fit within your daily carbohydrate and calorie limits.
https://www.digistore24.com/redir/400534/Xokbileaffiliate
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