#Love you barold...

[wizardsculpture]

barold! 🌸

[thunderheadfred]

[d1s1ntegrated]

hiii im back again !!!

can i request shiggy hcs for a reader who chronically bed rots (i was trying to find a better word for it instead of chronically but alas) but they basically just stay in bed watching whatever and sleeping (forgetting to eat is also a habit of mine when i do it ;-;)? thank u <33

OFC U CAN!!! i am also a chronic rotter. i know how it feels bb i got u!

bed rotting x shigaraki hcs

✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶

the first time tomura saw you bed rot, he thought you were sick.

"are you okay?? are you getting up?"

when you explained you just...couldn't...he nodded and crawled into bed next to you.

he and you both understand it's not the healthiest, but he's no stranger to a bad habit or two.

so when he learns that some days are just gonna be harder than others, he prepares like a mf

we're talking doomsday prepping.

he and a few other league members will go out and steal a bunch of shit: snacks, water bottles, etc

charges all the electronics and makes sure there are chargers nearby

gets nice clean pjs to lay in for you

regardless of whether its related to a chronic illness, mental shit, or not, he makes sure he learns what you need, if anything during that time.

because thats what he would want for himself :( thats what he needed. he understands it

helps you brush your hair out (he kinda sucks at it but hes doing his best okay)

sleeps next to you when you're sleeping, because gods know he needs it too

especially likes to watch shitty animated movies with you when you guts are awake

will send you memes/posts instead of showing them to you even though you're right. there.

you guys dont have to say anything to each other for hours on end, and you're still content just being there together.

plays dumb games on his phone

shows you him bullying villagers off his animal crossing island to get you to laugh

"i fucking hate barold hes so fucking ugly GET OFF MY FUCKING ISLAND YOU PLEB" (sorry barold lovers shiggy is NAWT a fan)

if you forget to eat, he will also forget, until you hear his stomach rumble and you both go "oh fuck"

adhd mode as fuck

gotta keep the big lights off for this

if you're the only one in that headspace, he'll do his best to just be there for you and make sure you take care of yourself

even if that means dragging you by a foot to brush your teeth or at least have a quick rinse in the shower

cause he knows if you dont, you'll feel bad for not

but he's very gentle and understanding always, because hes been there

and he will continue to be there regardless

all he cares about is that you're at least safe and healthy with him

cuddles and kisses you incessantly

just loves being next to you always, this just gives him an excuse to be clingy

✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶

okay this was really cute, also helped me channel some of my own personal guilt ab bed rotting ;-;

thank u for the request <3

shit like this gives me the motivation to not only keep writing, but to be kinder to myself, because thats what shig would want. i hope this has the same effect for you guys.

love u all, take care of urself <3

[herbgerblin]

A comprehensive list of Lup sensations (Lupsations?) documented 24-72 hours post emerging from body regrowth chamber, dictated by Lup Taaco Bluejeans:

Wind - cold but good

Sunlight - warm, so so good. please open all of the windows, especially for naptime

Grass - noooooo nono no nope sorry it’s too much :(

Carpet - mmmmmm kind of having a bad feet time here. Socks help a lot though

Wood - rough but not bad

Glass - smooth like a shark >:)

Water - warm is good but the second it gets room temp I gotta vamoosh. It’s freezing

Soap - icky but similar to the chamber goo, so manageable

Hair - why does my own hair feel weird? what the fuck? why have I never noticed that?

Fabric - cotton and polyester is fine. Anything with lace is too itchy, which fucking sucks because all my silk shit has lace on it. velvet is now on thin fucking ice. I can forgive denim because I know it would never hurt me on purpose

Barry - literally perfect do not fucking change a thing I’m so fucking serious. Barold I swear to fuck—

Hugs - yes love ‘em hello please give me many many hugs thank you :>

Bed - good, but needs more pillows

Taako - good, but please take off the lace I’m sorry it’s itchy :(

Couch - velvet, but Barry laid a cotton sheet over it, so we’re good for now

Taako’s cats - good

Magnus’ dogs - good

Merle’s plants - Merle do not fucking bring that fern in my vicinity! I will raze it, I’ll do it!

Magic casting - tinglier than I remember? Also exhausting, imma need to hold off on magic for a bit

Soup - soup :)

Herbal Tea - good but now the sprig of rosemary feels weird in my mouth :/

Family - perfect

Home - perfect

Life - good :3

[barry-j-blupjeans]

TAZ 2023 Fic Recs

It is that time of year again! Unfortunately, I don't have as many as last year, mainly because work and Life have been a lot this year. But I am very, very glad to share the fics I have loved this year and I'm looking forward to any other recs!

A Candlenights Barold by @sgrumby - or honestly, all three of the Reaper Squad Candlenights fics! Based off that one liveshow where Merle became Santa Clause. Now it is the job of Barry, Lup, and Kravitz to deliver presents to children every Candlenights! This one is based off A Christmas Carol and is not only hilarious but also super in character.

The Best Version Possible by @thedaisiestdaisy - Taako's experience with past romances, his current one with Kravitz, as well as the aftermath of Story and Song. This is a beautiful, meaningful fic that hits me in the feels every time I read it. It's such a deep, refreshing dive into Taako's character.

a monster might begin to worry by @anistarrose - In short, a Barry-kills-Governer-Kalen AU. In long: Such a good fucking fic. Rose's character voices are top notch and she's so incredibly good at playing with emotions and building up scenes. It's a god-tier Magnus fic, with some fun Magnus-Kravitz interactions and some wonderful hurt/comfort.

Also by Rose and very worth reading:

fill up your lungs, feel better - Barry spies on the BOBs corporate excursion and realizes his family still cares, even if they don't truly know him.

to eat from a poisoned plate - Barry leaves notes in Taako's cookbook.

somewhere over the rainbow (bluebirds fly) - Maureen and Lucretia fall in love. Then, Maureen and Lucretia fall out of love.

midlife crises, laboratory niceties - Barry bulldozes his way into being on the Starblaster crew. Davenport is very concerned <3

colors of space and time - Taako and Lup's relationship with their hair.

Rode Hard And Put Away Wet by @holdmecloser-gandydancer - Band AU!! My beloved!! Lup, Johann, and Kravitz are in a band and it gets. Tough. To put it lightly. Whenever Lup discovers Kravitz and Taako are hooking up. This is a WONDERFUL and super funny fic, that also has it's moments of deep reflections and a lil angst! Plus, Blupjeans! We love that!

Astrology for Horse Jugglers by @noodyl-blasstal - Kravitz and Taako meet at a wedding. This goes badly for everyone except them. This fic is pure chaos and I adore it so, so much.

We Got Boned! - Another one by Noodyl! Barry and Lup write a book for payback, kinda. This one is such a fun, weird turn of events. I cannot describe my love for it.

Revenge Plus One by @ceilingfan5 - Kravitz is invited by his ex (Edward) to go on a cruise. A cruise that will host Edward's wedding. And, to add insult to injury, Edward (rightly) assumes that Kravitz will have no one to bring along. So Kravitz does the responsible adult thing: Invite the gorgeous man who sells bagels in the work cafeteria (Taako) on the cruise with him. There is fake dating! There is tension! There is romance! I love this fic so much, I want to eat it.

a lesson in boy math - Also by Larissa! Speed-dating, Taakitz style. Both Taako and Kravitz are the best shade of weird in this <3

fashion statement by @journalofimprobablethings - Taako takes Lup's robe when he finds her and the umbrella. Lucretia deals with that. This fic? Destroyed me. And I loved it. It's pretty full of angst but the good kind, y'know?? I'm in love.

That's all I got this year!! I hope you all enjoy these fics as much as I did! They're all incredible and I love seeing all the different ideas and takes everyone has :O

[d0g-water]

Imagine Quackity's girlfriend playing Animal Crossing with him 😭

I was watching Quackity's old vod of Animal Crossing so this is inspired haha!

one of the best birthday gifts you've received was a nintendo switch.

it was gifted to you by one of your bestest friends, and you expressed your gratitude to her with your eyes lit up in front of your boyfriend (who was totally not jealous)

"is it really that good of a gift? stop smiling like that.." alexis pouts, his eyebrows narrowing at your ramble about all the games you're going to make him buy.

you smile at him wider, holding up your first brand-new switch, "we can play games together, alex! you didn't think about that?"

no, he didn't.

you weren't really sure, but you swore you saw alex's face turn pink right after you said that..

~

you sit on his lap as he helps you set up the console, his arms and hands wrapped around yours, guiding you throughout the process.

"can my username be alexsgirlfriend?" you ask him,

"wh- no!" he answers.

that ended up being your username anyways.

~

as you finally finished, alex looks through the games he bought you, "which one do you want to start with?"

you already had one in mind...

"animal crossing."

so, as spoiled as you are, he plays with you.

the second alexis enters your island, you give him the biggest scowl he's seen. "ew! your character is so ugly!!" you say, "what is that?!"

his character was truly ugly to you, but funny to him. you wonder what explanation he has for it. he gave it the ugliest features and strangest clothing designs...

alex laughs and says that you don't understand, and you don't, because now you have a whole animal crossing date with an ugly avatar.

"your island has peaches? mine has oranges." he shakes one of your trees, collecting all of your fruits. he's practically stealing them all..

"you're greedy, why are you taking my fruit??"

"i need bells!"

you roll your eyes to play off that smile you almost had, he's so cute it's dangerous.

"come on, you wanna go fishing instead?" you suggest to him so he wouldn't steal any more fruits, scooting closer to him.

he gives in, but warns before the two of you begin, "i suck at fishing..."

his character throws the line at what seemed like a large fish in the water, "i'm going to catch it and sell it!"

he's really desperate for bells.

"it's not going to be a fish, alexis, watch! you're going to catch a tire or something..."

gosh, you love picking on him. it's so fun and he's so cute about it..

"jeez.. you're my girlfriend, why do you hate me so much?" he pouts like he did at your party, as the fish finally bites the hook of alex's rod.

you don't say anything just yet, you wanna see if your joke became a reality. it probably didn't, or, well--

it did...

"it's a fucking boot???" alexis nearly shouts out, his face shocked like he saw a ghost... his voice sounding a mixture of genuine confusion and concern.

you can't help but laugh your ass off.

there's no way you manifested it.

"you're an asshole, y/n!! what the fuck?! a fucking boot??" alexis couldn't believe it, all of that confidence for nothing!

you're laughing so much, coughing out and choking on some spit.. you were literally just joking.

"let's do another activity then!" your smile can be heard through your voice, alexis wasn't looking at you but he knows the dumb look on your face.

alex covers his mouth with his hand, as he tries to think of what to do with you...

he doesn't play this game often, and you only know a thing or two because you sort of... kind of... played on his console.

"let me piss off one of your residents." he takes his net out, running off to look for one.

you didn't really know what he meant by that, so you follow him.

"i'm scared for what you're going to do, baby."

he tells you not to worry about it, but you honestly can't trust him with this. you know he's not up to any good...

he creeps behind barold with his net out, then pressing the control to hit his head with it. he sees the angry dialogue from poor barold, making fun of him instantly.

"barold?? who the fuck is named barold??"

you almost laugh too, but that's your villager! you have to defend him...

"leave him alone, alexis! he did nothing to you." you smile, running in circles around his avatar as the bear stomps away furiously.

"hey, you were about to laugh too, babe! i know you hate that motherfucker." he defends himself, by using your held back laughter.. you don't want to admit that it's a bit absurd... because barold?

"you're horrible, alexis."

your head rests on his shoulder..

you have the cutest boyfriend ever.

[noodyl-blasstal]

Pretty huge Doughnuts

The word count's droppin', but I'm not stoppin' - @taznovembercelebration day 15. Prompt "baby"

Read below or on Ao3. Missed yesterday's catch it here.

-

“You’re doing what now?”

“Planning Lup a baby shower.”

“Lup’s pregnant?” Barry’s voice is doing something high pitched and weird and Taako’s unsure exactly what the fuck is going on, but someone’s forgotten they have like 8 PhDs.

“Wanna think that through, Barold? Do you think that maybe she might have told you if she’d cracked that one.”

Barry looks less panicked. “Yeah… fair. Uh.”

“Anyway.” Taako ploughs on valiantly, he’ll pull this one out at a later date, once Barold thinks he’s forgotten. “I’m planning a baby shower for her.”

“If she’s not pregnant…” Barry starts.

“Which she isn’t.” Taako adds, helpfully.

“Yeah. Uh. Which she isn’t.” Barry looks pale still, poor, sweet idiot. “... then why are you throwing her a baby shower?”

“It took her more than nine months to birth the thesis” Taako says, he shrugs because it’s obvious, obviously. He doesn't know why literally no one so far has understood. They're definitely the problem.

Barry’s still scrunkling his face up like Taako's being irrational. The joke's on him because Taako's never irrational.

“She’s had a tonne of appointments.”

“Uh huh.”

"She brought new life into the world."

"The necromancy thing isn't part of the main thesis after, you know, the legal issues."

“I meant the concepts, not the zombie. Anyway the university are cowards for not embracing him." Before they get into the ethics of free education after reanimation Taako diverts Barry again. "She had to do that scan.”

“What scan? Wait, Taako, do you mean the MRIs she did for the data collection?”

“Now you get it.”

“I…”

“Cha’boy found this banner.” Taako unfurls it dramatically and holds it up, it’s gold and spangly and far too much, which is, of course, the perfect amount.

“Congratulations, it’s a…” Reads Barry.

“PhD!” Taako replies. “I’m gonna write it in and add flames. It’ll be great.”

“She’ll love the flames.” Says Barry, probably trying to tactfully dissuade Taako from the rest. Optimistic fool.

“I made a game for us where we have to guess the circumference of her thesis. There's prizes.”

“Is the thesis measurement bound or unbound?” Asks Barry far too fast. Oooooh, Taako has him on board now. Suddenly he loves BaPhD showers.

“No can do, Bluejeans, you wouldn’t want to cheat, would you? Wouldn’t want to ruin Lup’s special day by making it all about winning?”

“No.” Says Barry, unconvincingly.

“No cheating, Barold!”

Barry doesn’t say anything. Taako never should have taken Bluejeans under his wing, he’s created a monster.

“What’s a baby snack?”

"Mush?"

"No, like, for this."

“Are you asking what a baby thesis would eat?” Barry sounds more delighted by the concept than he should be.

“Baby researchers, I assume.” Chews them up, spits them out, not that Taako’s bitter. He’s fine. He can come back any time. Any time the police get round to officially clearing him. Not that it’s a problem, he’s not bothered about his degree anyway. He’s peachy. It’s not weird to see Lup get her doctorate before him when they were supposed to do it together.

Barry seems to realise he’s triggered some kind of horror even though Taako's definitely doing an incredibly normal face. He's going to try sand be nice about it.

“What are PhD snacks?” He asks before Barry can say anything kind.

“Pretty huge doughnuts.” Barry replies without hesitation. Taako knew there was a reason he kept him around.

Taako makes a note in his phone. Giant doughnuts mean giant frying, mean big oil, mean big pan.

“Why’re we making big doughnuts?” Kravitz asks, cracking the door to his room.

Of course it was food discussion that summoned him from his regimented work schedule (ignoring what he needed to do because he got distracted by other things and then panic typing up everything for his deadline.) It bodes well for Taako’s ongoing wooing, the stuff about hearts and stomachs was true probably, but Taako was also hoping to make his way to Kravitz’s di…

“Taako’s throwing Lup a surprise baby shower.” Barry cuts through Taako’s wandering thoughts. “We’re planning the menu.”

“Oh.” Says Kravitz. “For her PhD? Neat!”

-

Hey, hey, enjoyed that? Find the next prompt here!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

I know you guys love my stupid villager polls, so here’s another one since I’m looking to replace someone who doesn’t fit the mold sci-Fi/weirdo theme of my island:

[fandomsnstuff]

Design - verb - do or plan something with a specific purpose or intention in mind

Just keep that in mind for the big 2-0 k thanks

@taznovembercelebration

Day 20: design

If Taako sentenced himself to going to Lup's hockey games, the least he could do for himself is talk to the hot guy that's there.

Read it on AO3

The unfortunate thing about being the world's best brother, is that whenever his sister pulls out the elongated “pleaaaaaaaaase?” Taako just can't say no. Which is how he found himself sentenced to spending at least an hour every Sunday in a room full of ice for the foreseeable future. Why Lup had to get into hockey of all things, he'll never understand. But she asked him to come, because she wants somebody in the stands, and Barry's schedule changed recently, so now, a month into the season, Taako's gotta do it. At least he's allowed to leave immediately after the game.

He walks into the arena and inhales sharply. “Jesus fucking christ.” He shoves his hands into his pockets. It's illegally cold in here. He knew Lup was full of shit when she said ice rinks “aren't that bad.”

He scans the pathetically sparse stands. Not a ton of people willing to come out to low-tier women's hockey at noon on a Sunday. There is, however, someone who catches his eye.

Sitting in the back row is tall, dark, and handsome personified. He's wearing a black wool trench coat and leather gloves, one of which he's pulled off as he scrolls on his phone. Taako casually beelines for him.

“This seat taken?”

The man of Taako's dreams looks up, surprise on his handsome face. “No!” He says a little too quickly and a little too loudly. He clears his throat. “No, please, it's all yours.”

“Sweet.” He plops down the dumb little cushion Barry gave him and sits. “So,” he crosses his legs and props his head up on his hand, “come here often?”

He puts his phone away and pulls his glove back on. “Every week. I come to watch my mother play.”

Taako quirks an eyebrow. “No offence, but. Why? You're a grown ass man. Don't you have literally anything else you could be doing?”

He laughs awkwardly. “Honestly? No. I pretty much just eat, sleep, and work. This gets me out of the house.” He seems to suddenly remember he's also talking to someone who's voluntarily come here to watch the exact same game. “Why are you here, If you have something better to do?”

He shrugs. “My sister asked me, and I'd be hard pressed to say no.” He straightens up and holds out his hand, “Taako.”

He takes it, “Kravitz.”

“Charmed.” The gloves feel like expensive leather. “So, Kravitz, explain something to me.”

“Sure?”

“What's up with the box on wheels?” He gestures to the ice, where said box on wheels is just driving off the ice.

Kravitz laughs, “the zamboni? It floods the ice, so it's smooth for whoever's coming on next.”

“That thing can fully reset the surface in, what, five minutes?”

“Pretty much, unless there's a pretty nasty gouge in it.”

“Wild.” The teams come out on the ice and start skating in circles around each half, split up by a foot-wide red line down the center. Taako leans over, “which one is yours?”

Kravitz laughs again. “My mom's lucky number 13 on the black team. You?”

“Well hey, Lup's 18 on that team.”

Realisation dawns on his face. “Oh, you're Lup's brother?”

Taako looks at him quizzically. “Took you that long? We have the same face.”

He gets sheepish, “I've maybe only actually seen her a few times, but I usually sit with Barry, so…”

“Well Barold's tied up on Sundays in academic hell for the next little while, so you're stuck with me.”

Kravitz's brow furrows, “I don't remember him saying anything about that?”

“Don't feel bad, I hardly remember a thing he says too.”

“No, it's just– he didn't say why he wasn't coming this week, but he loves talking about his research, so I would assume if it was because of that, he'd say something? He just told me he wasn't coming, and you were, and that–” he cuts himself off and clears his throat. “Yeah, weird, I dunno.”

“No, no. Finish that sentence. What did my dear brother in law say about me?”

“He just said that… he thought we would get along? And I'm self aware enough to know I'm not super socially adept, but he had a tone that I think he was insinuating… something?”

Taako hums, and looks Kravitz up and down. He looks out to the ice and sees number 18 standing with number 13. Lup holds out a gloved hand and does a “thumbs up? Thumbs down?” gesture. Taako ignores her and presses closer to Kravitz. For warmth. “I don't know much about hockey, so you'll have to teach me.”

Kravitz is silent for a moment, processing the sudden change of subject. “I'm sure I can handle that.”

The game starts shortly, and Taako gets far more into it than he expected.

“What the hell was that whistle for?!”

“They were offside,” Kravitz points to the ice, “the puck has to cross the blue line into the other team's end before any of our players can, and vice versa. Then if the puck leaves their end and comes back in, we have to get out past the blue line as fast as possible.”

Taako crosses his arms and slumps back. “That's bullshit.”

“You didn't seem to mind when it helped us out five minutes ago.”

He glares at him, and Kravitz laughs. Play resumes for a good few minutes, then the whistle blows again for apparently no reason. Taako barely has time to inhale before Kravitz says, “it's because they iced the puck.”

“Now you know I don't know what–” he scoffs, incredulous, “why the fuck are they starting in our end?!”

“Because they iced it. Someone from our team shot the puck from our side of the red line, and it went all the way down the ice and passed the goal line at the other end, and no one got close enough to keep the puck in play before it got there. So they bring it back to our end to start again.”

“Maybe the other team should just be faster and stop that then.”

“But they want to be in our end, so an icing helps them out.”

“I don't like this icing. I prefer buttercream.”

Kravitz's laugh practically echoes around the arena.

The game ends. A victory for Lup's team despite all of the, in Taako's eyes, stupid rules. Kravitz is getting up to leave and Taako says, “hey, Krav. Can I borrow your phone?”

“Uh, sure,” he hands it over, “here.”

Taako takes it and adds himself as a contact, then texts himself, “can I take you to dinner?” He turns it off and hands it back to Kravitz. “Thanks. I'll see you later.”

He leaves, and once he's out in the parking lot, he takes his own phone and responds to the text he sent himself, “sure thing, handsome. Mind if I pick?”

He gets in his car and his phone pings with two texts.

One is from Kravitz: “Absolutely you can pick, just let me know when and were. As we've established, my social calendar is wide open.”

The second is from Lup: “You're welcome.”

[cataztrophi]

TAZ November Celebration 6: Truth

Just a short, kind of silly one for this @taznovembercelebration ficlet! My card was "truth," so here's one about Magnus trying to lie, to the despair of actual professional liar Taako.

Taako was a champion liar. It was a skill he'd honed through years of practice and one that had saved his ass more times than he could count. He could lie unabashedly, about anything, to anyone, and he'd do it while looking them straight in the eye. He had once convinced Barold that he was both SCUBA and forklift certified. 

This deception-based superpower of his had only one weakness, and that was one of his dumbass friends opening their big mouth before he could spin his web of lies. Unfortunately, this was precisely the situation he now found himself in. 

He had been helping Magnus pick out an engagement ring, and doing–in his opinion anyway–an excellent job at keeping him somewhat sane. No, Julia wouldn't care if the stone was lab-grown. Yes, the whole ‘three-month salary' thing was made up by diamond sellers. No, Julia wasn't one of those penguins that courted each other by exchanging rocks, and she would probably say yes even if he proposed with something from Dollar Tree. 

Everything had been going rather well, all things considered, until the shop bell rang and in walked Julia herself. Her face lit up when she saw them.

“Julia!” Magnus exclaimed, completely failing to look unsuspicious. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm picking up my dad's watch for him, he sent it here to get the band fixed. What are you doing here, hon?”

Taako opened his mouth to deliver one of his trademark bulletproof cover stories, but before he could get a word out Magnus charged ahead with his own panic-fueled explanation. 

“I'm helping Taako!” he said. Not a bad start. “Pick out a gift!” Plausible, even if Magnus wasn’t too high on the list of people Taako sought jewelry advice from. “For his boyfriend!”

Ah, fuck, there it was. Rule one of crafting a believable lie: don't invent something that will invite a lot of follow-up questions. And that was exactly what Magnus had just done, as evidenced by Julia's face lighting up like a neon sign.

“You didn't tell me you were seeing anyone!” she exclaimed. 

Taako jerked his head noncommittally. “Eh, you know me, I tend to keep it pretty chill.”

“But you like this one?”

“Yeah, he's pretty great.” Well, he wasn't going to have a shitty imaginary boyfriend. 

Julia shifted her canvas grocery bag to a more comfortable position, signaling that she was prepared to discuss this for a while. “Well, what's his name?”

“Kravitz.” Hmm. He just sort of had that one ready to go, huh? That would warrant a little pondering later. Then, because he knew Julia wasn't going to be satisfied with just that, he added, “He's a cellist.”

“Wow, that's awesome! You'll have to introduce us sometime. In fact,” she laid a hand on Magnus’ arm. “We're having a little get-together on Saturday, just a few of us. I don’t want to push, I know meeting the friends can be weird, but I’d love it if you and Kravitz could come!”

“For sure,” Taako said, his control of this lie slipping with every second. “I mean, I'll have to check in with him about his work schedule, he's pretty busy right now.”

Julia nodded. “Well, I hope you can make it! Good luck with your gift shopping.” She gave Taako a smile and Magnus a peck on the cheek before walking over to the store clerk. As soon as her back was turned Taako glared at Magnus. 

“What?” Magnus mouthed with a shrug. Taako rolled his eyes and pretended to peruse the men's rings until Julia left the shop.

“So,” Magnus said once the coast was clear, a broad grin spreading across his face. “Tell me about this Kravitz guy.”

Right, Kravitz. Taako’s hot goth neighbor Kravitz. Kravitz, who really was a professional cellist, with strong hands that Taako could imagine doing all sorts of things. Kravitz, who he saw at the farmer's market sometimes, who always asked him what mushrooms to buy or which wine went best with whatever he was making. The guy he had completely normal, neighborly feelings about. 

Taako rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing to tell, my man. I had to tell her something to cover up your shitty lie.”

Magnus had the audacity to look hurt. “What was wrong with it?”

“Well, for starters, you’re making me fabricate an entire relationship in four days.”

“I mean, you could just tell her you’re busy.”

He waved this suggestion away. “No, no, I can make it work, you’re just gonna owe me for it.”

Magnus’ shit-eating grin returned, undeterred. “Okay, but you gotta let me be the best man at yours and Kravitz’s wedding.”

Taako glared at him. “That’s gonna be real hard to do from six feet under, Burnsides.”

Little though Taako felt he deserved it, he helped Magnus through the rest of the ring-choosing process. He settled on a reasonably-priced sapphire with a silver band molded into the shape of a flowering vine, and he left the store with the box clutched in one hand like he never intended to put it down. Once they climbed into his truck he stopped for a moment and turned to Taako with an uncharacteristically serious look on his face.

“Hey, I really do appreciate you doing this,” he said. “It means a lot.”

Taako shrugged. “Don’t mention it, my dude. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find out if I’m going to have to move to a new building next month.”

He took out his phone and pulled up Kravitz’s contact information, which he had spent two weeks figuring out how to get. He had been planning to use it for a leisurely flirtation that would eventually end with him figuring out that Taako was the hottest thing since Pompeii. Instead, he pulled up their chat and prepared to send a message that would either get him blocked or into a stellar fictional relationship. 

hey, so whats ur general opinion on schemes, plots, and shenanigans?

[thunderheadfred]

Yogurt wants to meet Barold So Bad. He’s currently sleeping on Barold’s stinky hairy blanket after licking it and purring like crazy.

[animalcrossingshowdown]

Honestly I'm so upset about barold losing that I'm not ready to get involved in the most popular tournament :( I know I'm just one voice among many, and it's not your fault, but I've loved barold since the first moment I clapped eyes on him

I mean if it makes you feel any better, it seems like him losing has endeared him to a lot of people. the closer we got to the end, the more comments sprung up about people realizing they actually like him

[spidermanifested]

"beautiful full moon that night. the way the moonlight glistened in the pools of blood... you had to be there."

apparently i Did have the energy to color this after all. barold the chopper you are unrecognizable with short hair. you could blend like a cuttlefish into the liquor aisle of any grocery store across america. i still love you

[barry-j-blupjeans]

2022 Fic List!

This is a compilation of all the fics I've posted on Ao3 in 2022, plus some ficlets I like that I posted here! As always, Journal Pages is still being updated but I'm not gonna put it on this list because I made it last year (I think??)

Memories, Just a Bit To the Left

Being kidnapped was, honestly, not incredibly horrible. It wasn’t a good thing, for sure, for sure, but Barry could deal with it. Was he low on hit points? Yeah, and it was shitty. Did he feel like he was going to die? Occasionally, that’s just something that happens sometimes, you know? But it wasn’t all bad. Some of the gerblins were nice. They gave him some water, kicked him around a bit more, gave him an orange that they refused to peel so Barry just kind of spat the peel out as he went. A solid three out of five stars.

But he wasn’t too worried about the whole thing. Even as low as his hit points got, he knew that Taako would come find him. It was just a matter of if he would find Barry too late.

This was for the 2021 Candlenights exchange and it is killer, I think. I really enjoyed getting to write this and explore the space of this AU.

Archaeology Excavation on My Body

“How do you always know everything?” he asked instead of rising to her bait. “That’s the secret I want to know, ma’am. You’ve got prying eyes anywhere? Listening ears?”

"I run a secret organization on the moon,” the Director said dryly. “I’ve grown accustomed to knowing both everything and absolutely nothing at the same time. If you don’t want me to know, then I won’t know. I’ll never bring it up again. I’m simply offering us a way to, uh-” she glanced at the wall. It had been twenty minutes since the Reclaimers went offline. “Pass the time. And perhaps a way to help manage your pain a little better. No one else has noticed, Angus, but you do tend to limp a bit.”

Fuck, Angus thought.

This one was a pure vent fic, but I'm glad other people could relate to it anyway! I love giving characters I like everything that's wrong with me.

Tedious Familiarity

Déjà vu. Noun. A feeling of having already experienced the present situation. A tedious familiarity.

Barry Bluejeans woke up in a cave, fresh out of a pod filled with green goop, and saddled with an unsettling feeling that he had been here before. If you had asked forty-year-old Barry if he would follow instructions left by a talking coin, he probably would have asked you what type of drugs you were on. But, y’know, fifty… two? Fifty-one? How old was he? Fifty-two sounded right. But, y’know, fifty-two years old Barry didn’t really have that many other places to turn, so this couldn't be all that bad.

Barold my beloved!! I love any take on Barry's years alone and I thought I'd give myself a stab at it! Or several stabs, if we're going by death count. I really like how this one came out!!

Heart-Shaped Stickers

A collection of my blupjeans week prompts for 2022!

As seen on the tin sldkfsd.

Keep Your Friends Close (And the Lich Who Gives You Cryptic Advice Closer)

“There’s a lot you don’t know and I can’t tell you yet,” the Red Robe said. “And I’m genuinely sorry about that, Magnus, but right now, from the Bureau’s perspective, I’m not the good one.”

“From your perspective?” Magnus asked.

“From my- I…” he stopped again, contemplating, as if no one had ever asked him this question before. "I try to be, I think."

AKA: Magnus has questions and no one from the Bureau is giving him answers. He goes looking for the one person who will.

This baby is my pride and joy of this year, I think. It has always taken me Ages to write any chaptered fic but I'm very very proud of this one.

Autumn-Themed Notebook

Prompt fills for TAZ November Celebration 2022.

Again, as seen on the tin!

Now onto the Tumblr Ficlets!!

This list would not be complete without this ficlet about Magnus, Carey, and Killian discussing Magnus's top surgery or this one about a heart-shaped locket Barry picked up. Some other favorites from this year include:

Voidfished Taako interacting with Red Robe Lup and Barry (x)

June/The Temporal Chalice finding Barry's worst memory (x)

Merle and Hekuba talking post Story and Song (x)

Lucretia and Magnus talking about emotions and the stars (x)

Lucretia discovering the umbrastaff broke early (x)

Barry and Lucretia forming a truce to fuck over Governer Kalen (x)

Lucretia trying to discover who's stealing from the Fantasy Costco (x)

Taako taking the fall for all of Lup's deaths (x)

The Starblaster Crew stealing Magnus's shirts while he's dead (x)

Taako, Kravitz, and the mafia - Werewolf edition! (x1, x2, x3)

I gotta stop there or else this will go on forever sldfksdf. Let me know if you have any particular favorites from what I've written this year :D! It'd mean the world to me. My writing tag is #ise cube writing as always and my ao3 is IntrovertedHappiness if you wanna go check me out there!

[animalcrossingopinionpoll]

"Please DO feed the bears, cubby!"

[noodyl-blasstal]

King of the (bouncy) Castle

It's @taznovembercelebration day 17 and today I drew the prompt "soft"

Read below or on Ao3 if you prefer. Missed yesterday's? Find it here.

-

“Ko!” Lup yells from the hall.

“What?” He screams from his bedroom, because he’s still deciding on what to wear and if it’s that urgent she can come in.

“Do you know anyone else?”

“In general? Or?”

“Don’t be a dick. Do you know anyone who can come today?”

“Why?”

“Magnus had to drop out.”

“We can win without him.”

“A team is four people.”

“Ask Dav.”

“He’s racing today”

“Lucretia?”

“She just laughed until I hung up. It was a solid 3 minutes.”

“Merle?”

“I’m going to need you to work from the assumption that I have remembered our joint friends with whom we spend all our time”

“But seriously, Merle.”

“Taako, I have tried everyone we jointly know. He said he was going to be busy in the greenhouse, and then he said some other things. Would you like me to tell you what those other things are? Because I can. I can tell you exactly what he had planned for the onions because he told me because I had him on speaker phone and I got trapped in my shirt and he said a lot of words before I could hang up. They’re burned into my brain forever and cha’girl is happy to share that burden.”

“No! Lulu, don’t! I’ll cast silence.”

“I’ll counterspell it. Now start thinking of people.”

“Angus?”

“I also know Angus, and he’s a literal child.”

“He’s, what, 6 now?”

“He’s eleven, Taako, you baked him a cake in the shape of the number for his birthday two weeks ago.” There’s no need for Lup to slander him like this.

“Eleven! That’s basically an adult for humans, right?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Are you going to stop doing special magic boy lessons with him because he’s all grown up now?” Lup goes for the jugular. He doesn’t have to stand for this cruelty, for the implication that he actually likes spending time with the baby.

“What aboutttt… erm…” Taako changes the topic seamlessly and casts his mind furiously about for a name, any name, of a person Lup wouldn’t have already called. There’s one that popped up as soon as Lup asked and he’s trying his best to see round it but it keeps sidling into his eye line. He can’t though. It’d be a disaster. “Errrrr… Brian.”

“No. Absolutely anyone else.”

“What’s wrong with Brian?”

“He’s in a cult!”

“But apart from the cult stuff he’s lovely.”

“Taako! Do you want to win or not?”

Fine. Fine! Taako does very much want to win, especially after Lydia tripped him last year.

“Kravitz.” He says it fast, like he’s ripping off a plaster. Maybe Lup won’t put two and two together.

“The guy from work?”

“No?”

“Oh, you know another Kravitz, do you?”

“Yes?”

“Is any of that supposed to have convinced me?”

“Is it working?”

“No.”

“Fuck.”

“So… different Kravitz? How do you know Kravitz-Who’s-Not-From-Work? Why do you have a way of getting in touch with him?” Lup’s going to cling to this an unnecessary amount.

“Ooooh are we talking about Kravitz?” Barry, fucking Barry, asks. Wandering his ass right into their private conversation.

“This is a private conversation, Barold.” Yells Taako through the door of his room into the hall of their too-small shared apartment.

“Would you like me to put my noise cancelling headphones on?” Barry asks, earnestly, like he’d actually fucking do it if Taako said yes.

“Absolutely not, Barry, You live in this house and you have every right to be in this hallway.” Lup snaps. She’s still mad about last time Taako forgot to tell Barry he could take the headphones off. In his defence, he made him a cake about it. A jake, in fact, with edible press studs. Barry loved it! Plus, he was listening to one of his lectures, he was fine, happy as a clam!

“Fine.” Taako threw up his hands, no one could see him, but it felt important to do it anyway, you know, for the drama. He couldn’t argue with this, he didn’t have a choice, he may as well give in and call Kravitz, they’ve both worked together to twist his arm. “You’re making me do this though. It’s not because I want to. I’ve been compelled.”

“What?” Says Barry, perplexed. “I thought we were just talking about your crush.”

“His what?” Says Lup.

Taako springs forward and manages to flick the lock across the second before Lup tries the handle.

“You’re in love with death?” She tries the handle a few more times, as if it’ll jiggle the lock free.

“A man isn’t his job, Lup.” Taako shouts back. Denying everything.

“That wasn’t a no!”

“I have to ring him, because you’re making me. Or do you not want to win Bounce Off 2: Bounce in the City?”

There’s grumbling from the other side of the door followed by a muttered “c’mon Barold,” fakeout. Taako’s wise to it though, so he isn’t shocked by her ‘one last try’ of the door handle, or the second attempt that follows after she does fake footsteps away from the door.

“Fine! He’d better be down though and good.”

“He’s tall.” Says Barry, conversationally. He’d better not plan on telling Lup anything else.

“Good. We can use height.Is he strong?” Lup asks.

Kravitz is strong, Taako knows that for normal reasons, reasons like he can carry a lot of pastries when he orders them; and that time he helped Taako move the big table when someone spilled and he had to clean under it. Not reasons like all the time he spends staring at Kravitz’s forearms, and his thighs, and his everything else. Because he doesn’t do that. Taako would never.

“Fine. Don’t answer me.” Lup actually leaves this time, Taako pretends he can’t hear Barry telling her about Kravitz and his newfound love of coffee and baked goods.

Taako [10:23] Yo stud got a minute to chat?

It was only polite to text first, he doesn’t want to jumpscare Kravitz with a phone call, he isn’t a sadist. The three dots flashed up immediately. Thank fuck he’s awake at the crack of dawn.

Bones [10:24] Dear Taako, Of course, I’ve always got time for you. All best, Kravitz.

Taako has been trying hard not to find his ridiculous dork texts endearing. He’s failing. Badly. He ignores the squooshy feeling it gives him and hits the call button instead.

“Hello Taako, it’s lovely to hear from you!” Says Kravitz like he actually means it.

“Hey Krav, quiiiiiick q for ya. What’re you doing this morning?”

“I’m just practising.” Of course he is. Why wouldn’t Kravitz be sat straddling his giant instrument right now? Taako’s mature though, he won’t make a joke about it.

“Can’t keep your hands off your instrument, shameful!” Fuck.

“Well, someone has to keep it in tune.”

Gods, he wasn’t supposed to play along. Why did he keep flirting back? Was this whole thing actually plausible?

“Wanna spend some time with Taako instead?”

“I’d be very interested in that.” Kravitz says, buttery and glorious.

“How do you feel about inflatables?”

There’s a long pause.

“It’s not a sex thing.” Taako says, to make it less weird.

“I’m not sure that makes what you said less weird, Taako.”

“You know, like bouncy castles.”

“Okay.” Kravitz doesn’t sound particularly convinced.

“And my sister will be there.”

There’s another pause. “...And Barry?”

“Obviously.”

“Uh huh.”

Fuck, Taako’s losing him, and it’s suddenly incredibly important that Kravitz not only agree to this, but is also enthusiastic about it. “It’s a competition.” Says Taako.

“Oh?” Of course that piqued his interest, Kravitz loves competition. He tries to help harder than any other customer, tip better than anyone else, and he races people in the street.

“We lost last year, but we’ve been in training.”

“You’ve been in bouncy castle training?”

“Obstacle course training… and also trampolines.”

“Is that what the weird squeaking is when we’re on the phone sometimes?”

“What?”

“You know, the calls where you’re all breathy and there’s the squeaking noise.”

Taako didn’t realise Kravitz had picked up on that. “You didn’t think…?”

“Well now I know it’s not a sex thing.”

“You thought it was a sex thing and you stayed on the phone?”

“I don’t judge.”

“You didn’t wanna ask Taako what he was up to?”

“I know you’re a private person.”

“Not if you think Taako’s doing sex things on the phone without your consent. In fact, that’s the least private a person can be.”

“You make a compelling point.”

Taako doesn’t even begin to know what to do with that. “So… bouncing?”

“Where is it?”

“We can pick you up.”

“All three of you?”

“Barry said he’s sorry and he’ll stop asking about the ‘secret sauce.’”

“I just really don’t think it’s a respectful way to talk about embalming fluid.”

Taako thinks it’s a great way to refer to embalming fluid, but he also wants Kravitz to be happy. “He double pinky promised.”

“Oh, well if he double pinky promised.”

“Great! Pick you up in 20, wear something snazzy.”

Taako hangs up the phone before Kravitz can object or ask anything else. He has limited time and an outfit to re-plan.