#Look Outside is actually human and real and desperately sad

[3liza]

the playthrough of this i watched on Alpha Beta Gamer blew my tits clean off. it's the best RPGMaker game ive ever seen, and i thinik that's giving it too little credit because it's pretty faint praise. i was already preoccupied thinking about Ten Dead Doves and now im thinking about both of these games every time i stare at a wall for a few seconds.

the writing, art and music in Look Outside are so good i was raptly attentive through like six hours of gameplay, and i HATE the format of rpgmaker games. i was completely unsurprised to learn this dev is a Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden alumnus

[falciesystemessays]

I honestly think that Dizzy's entrance to Guilty Gear Strive should be as much of A Moment for plural systems as Bridget's was for trans women. The character's not out yet, but every bit of promotional material for the character points in a very promising direction. So for people who don't go here, or who have only played Strive, allow me to tell you why a character trailer for a three-year-old game put me on the verge of tears.

For some quick context, plurality in a person is essentially the state of having multiple entities in one's head. The most commonly known form of this comes from having dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personalities. But plenty within the plural community (including me) have a broader umbrella for the term. The main terminology you'll want to know for this is that a "system" is a group of entities within one body (I for example am part of the Fal'cie System), and "aspects" are entities that aren't quite separable from the host, because they're the manifestation of specific parts of them. For the record I am very aware of how buckwild this sounds to an outsider, and I frequently get existential about it. A lot of characters in anime and games are incidentally plural due to their layers of fantasy nonsense. Some examples of this in action are Yami and Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh, Sora gaining Ventus's heart in Kingdom Hearts, and the explicit dissociative identity of the Storyteller System in Ace Attorney.

Now then! To sum up Dizzy's backstory real quick, Dizzy is a Gear, basically a living weapon, and the daughter of original antagonist Justice. Most of her character up until this point has been desperately trying to cover that and live among humans, to... mixed avail. In the series' story mode she manages to start a family with the human deuteragonist Ky Kiske, who loves her a lot despite formerly being one of the best Gear-slayers. Ky is such a wonderful character, because throughout the series we see him go from hating Gears to tolerating a few of them to having a kid with one and actually becoming a little bit Gear himself. But this essay isn't about Ky Kiske.

In actual gameplay, as in the 1v1 fighting game battles, the main thing stopping her from relative normalcy is her two wings, Necro and Undine. The reason I say this character is a plural dub is because these wings are actually aspects of Dizzy, Necro being her rage and Undine her compassion. A lot of Dizzy's attack animations in Guilty Gear XX (the one where I've played Dizzy a lot) actually have Necro doing violent things while Dizzy herself is either distracted or afraid. This continued in Guilty Gear Xrd, where her instant kill move (every character gets one) has Necro unleashing a fuckoff gamma ray while Dizzy begs him to stop. Worth noting also that gamma rays are one of the moves her mother Justice used. Dizzy and Necro have clearly not been getting along, and while it's fun as a fighting game character bit, there is a certain level of sadness to it.

But in Strive? Oh my god, she looks so happy now! So at peace with herself and with her system. Lemme just rattle stuff off right now.

-Dizzy's attack animations all put her in control. Necro and Undine do a lot of fighting still, but never without Dizzy's control. They are fighting in tandem.

-Dizzy's victory animation has her hold out two hands. Undine naturally puts her whole hand onto one, and Necro finally puts a single finger on the other with a smile.

-Their super move, Gamma Ray, starts out with Necro and Undine firing a beam, and Dizzy getting scared. But after glancing at them and realizing it's okay, she joins in on the beam attack.

-She has a new move now, Michael Sword (Pronounced Mik-hai-ull), a full-screen slash that Justice used to have, indicating that she's come to terms with her origins and wants to use them for good.

-God, her opening animation and taunt where she communes with the animals like a Disney princess. Her new beautiful design. Her new theme song! She has never been this happy in her life!

The thing is, right, I can imagine people saying that this character growth isn't remotely the same kind of moment as Bridget's, because Dizzy's whole thing is based in sci-fantasy that could never be real in the same way that like, dissociative identity is real. Plenty more would deny that plurality exists at all outside some deluded roleplayers. And, I mean, was series director Daisuke Ishiwatari really thinking about people like me when choosing to take the character this way? I don't know, honestly. But I do know that Dizzy's character arc is authentic, to me. If there's one thing Guilty Gear Strive's story is really good at, it's giving long-suffering characters some well-earned peace. And if this is how Strive Season 4 is starting, I can't wait to see what they do next.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Monkey King: Hero is Back Au/Sequel details:

Old post of ideas and theories - made before I experienced the game.

May name the au and/or fic "Hero Rebound" as a ref to the ship nam eof Dasheng and his LEM.

Mixing some elements found in the video game as the added lore is cool af but a bit messy. Also the old man that raised Liuer deserves recognition.

Putting characters under Read More:

Major Characters:

Dasheng/Sun Wukong/"The Great Sage Equal to Heaven":

Going by the prequel concept poster; Was born/hatched looking like a coconut macaroon.

Secretly a herbalism/medical nerd. In the games he keeps a little guide of the medicinal plants and materials he finds.

Babysat a lot on Huaguo. In the english dub he even seems to default to asking if Liuer needs a babysitter.

Instincts take over a lot. Will pull the kids towards him and groom fur thats not even there.

Is tramatized by his experience in the Trigram Furnace.

Desperately wishes to find Erlang Shen so he can kick his ass.

Tries to play it cool; but Liuer's death actually tramatized him. He fears losing him again.

Don't touch Liuer or Silly Girl. Those are his babies now. He will kill you.

Zhanshi/Six Earred Macaque/Liu er Mihou/"Great Sage Informing Wind":

An oc/JTTW character variation; Was a member of the Brotherhood of Sages during her and Dasheng's youth. The LMK OC Picrew was used to create a rough image of her.

Sweetest ray of bustling sunshine compared to her gloomier mate. Will still kill any being that dares touch one of her subjects.

Severely injured during the Burning on Mount Huaguo - permanetly damaging her right eye and ears. Dasheng had assumed she'd died during the battle after he was tossed into the Furnace.

Honorary grandma to the little monkeys of Mount Huaguo. Helped raise many of them after the Burning while their parents foraged and worked the land.

Finds a weird Stone Egg that crashed down after the solar eclipse. Now everyone seems to want the dang thing. Realised what the egg truly was when she heard the flutters of a heartbeat from within.

First time Liuer accidentally called her "Mama", Zhanshi cried for two hours.

Pls do not touch the baby monkeys. She will bite. And crush.

Jiang Liuer/"Tripitaka"/Current Incarnation of Golden Cicada:

Died during the battle with Hundun - but Dasheng basically smashed down the doors of the Celestial Realm and begged the gods/bodhisattvas to bring his biy back.

Is bedbound and near comatose for 49 days as his body and soul heals.

Dasheng sacrificed his powers, freedom, and some of his dao/life energy for Liuer's revival. Liuer may or may not be part-stone monkey now.

Liuer doesn't know what happened to his parents. He assumed he was abandoned. His time in Diyu-Limbo clears this assumption up - learning that his parents died protecting him from mountain trolls/yao that wanted him for his delicious holy soul.

Can be a feral little guy at times. He was raised by a hermit after all.

Calls Fa Ming "granddad" in the english dub, so it's possible he just assumes Fa Ming is his granddad.

Is desperate for a mother figure.

Sha Ya Tou/"Silly Girl"/"A-nan":

A very cheerful baby despite her situation.

Is not 100% human.

Hundun specifically needed her for the ritual.

First word ends up being "Bima!" (horse) after someone mentioned "Bimawen".

Zhu Bajie/"Uncle Pigsy"/Marshal Canopy:

Lies that he's the reincarnated Pagoda King to scare demons. And because nobody outside of Heaven knows who Marshal Canopy is.

Gets real quiet when people bring up the story of Chang'e for some reason...

Amazing uncle figure. Notices that Liuer is sad during the movie's song sequence and uses his transformation ability to let the little guy experience flying.

Most of the time on the road he lets the kids use his stomach as a pillow.

Sha Wujing/"Sandy":

Another oc/JTTW character variation since no Sandy-equivalent appears in Hero is Back. Also made in the LMK OC Picrew.

She/they

Dresses very masculine but loves accessorising with flowers, shells, bones, pretty rock etcs.

Zhu Bajie shot her a wink and Sha Wujing had to politely explain that she wasn't interested in men in general. The two then bonded over their shared love for women.

Encounters the Seven Spider Sisters and... ohhh mama.

Sifu Fa Ming/"Grandpa":

Just some really cool old human dude.

Has a Diogenes-esque view of life, and does not care for monks and religious officials living in luxury. Self-exiled himself from his Vihara so that he could persue a simpler life.

Raised the baby he found (named "Little River Float/Jiang Liuer" cus thats what the baby was) with whatever he could find. Pretty much all alms he gained were used for food and clothes for his adopted grandchild. And from what the opening credits show, Fa Ming travelled with Liuer on his back through rain, snow, and shine.

Considers finding Liuer a blessing from the Buddha. Something he's somewhat correct on.

Was the first one to introduce Liuer to the legend of the Monkey King - as a cautionary tale to not be covetous. He did not anticipate Liuer thinking the monkey demon was the coolest person in all of Buddhist mythos. Fa Ming sighs, maybe that doll of his influenced that too.

His english va is James Hong, aka Mr Ping from Kung Fu Panda and he gives the best english performance imo. James Hong just be playing ancient chinese men who find and adopt a random baby they find.

Canglong/"The Dragon":

Isn't Ao Lie/Bai Longma... but is one of his dads. Canglong and Ao Run are a thing. Ganglong was once a regular rain dragon who saw that the newly-appointed King Ao Run of the "Western Sea" (in the mythos the older three called dibs on the actual seas around China) trying to build a canal from the Yellow River. Canglong called down a great rain to help make the in-land sea/lake that would become Qinghai Lake. The two dragon bonded over their effort and well... dragon pups occured.

I hc that the Western Sea kingdom is a lot more chill than it's empire-like brothers, so these guys are flying and swimming freely all around the place.

In the film the dragon and Dasheng just sorta team-up off screen. In the game they have Guanyin bring the boys straight to the Western Sea Palace (in the sky) to ask for a dragon assist. Canglong fought Hundun and the other three Perils before alongside "Shunwang" - a human with a sword. "Shunwang" is likely a reference to Emperor Shun of the "Three Soverigns and Five Emperors"-era of Chinese mythos (same era as Nuwa, Fuxi, and Shennong) and predecesor of Yu the Great; who ultimately tamed the waters with Ruyi Jingu Bang (Sun Wukong's future staff). Emperor Shun in mythos beat the stuffing out of the Four Perils - though not the same ones that include Hundun - rather Gonggong who broke the Heavenly Pillar.

Adding on to the lore from the HiB game: Canglong teamed up with humanity during the Great Flood to help curb the flood waters. Here he met Shunwang, who's goal was to kill the Four Perils and God that helped cause the Flood. Canglong thought that was cool af and got all the dragons involved to help. The Four Perils are sadly all concepts and you really can't 100% kill them, so they all ended up sealed away instead. By the time of Dasheng's release; Hundun (blind chaos) got out. Canglong was in the same area as the gang looking for Hundun to apprehend him - when Sun Wukong ran up to him with info on what Hundun had planned, Canglong agreed to help no questions asked.

As in game canon: Helps the gang return the stolen children. I hc through amazing sense of smell. Canglong doesn't hang around for long though, as Ao Run immediately flies over, worried out of his mind for his injured mate, and brings him home. Canglong and Ao Run do however have a cheeky white-scaled dragon pup that likes to pretend to be horse and is obsessed with the legendary Bimawen...

Hundun and the Great Perils:

A squad of four primordial concepts set loose when the destructive water god Gonggong destroyed the Heavenly Pillar. Their goal? Take out the newly-formed humanity.

Among them was (as taken from Chinese mythos):

‣Qiongqi/窮奇/"poor and strange": Deviousness. Said to devour the innocent/noble people, and serve evil ones. Said to either possess the body of a flying tiger or a carnivorous ox. Killed at the hands of Emperor Shun.

‣Taotie/餮/"greedy glutton": Gluttony. Said to have the head of a ding/bronze vessel that consumes all. Has the body of an ungulate, and the voice of a baby. Some believe it to be the reincarnated form of Chi You - the decapitated enemy of the Yellow Emperor.

‣ Taowu/檮杌/"stupid stump": Ignorance. Personifies the stubborness of man, and the refusal to learn. Resembles a sabre-toothed tiger.

‣ Hundun/混沌/"chaotic torrent: Chaos. Like chaos it's true form is blind and directionless. Mythology says that attempts were made to give it holes in which to see, breath, and eat, but it immediately died and reincarnated into "an evil creature".

Nuwa, alongside Shunwang and the dragons, and a bunch of other allies, kicked the Perils butts but couldn't 100% kill them. The compromise was exile/sealing them away indefinitely. Hundun in his original form was attemtped to be rehabitilated, but upon gaining sight and the ability to breathe - died and reincarnated into the human-reptilian avatar we see in the film.

"Hundun" is an extenstion of primordial chaos itself - a thing that isn't inherently evil and was born alongside Pangu when the World Egg hatched. The demon king however, has merely a chunk of the power held by his original life.

Hundun in his current form may have died... but the soul within has move on into something else. Child-like chaos cannot be contained.

[astolfofo]

this is dedicated to @semuji . I apologize for the terrible writing, school is really getting to me, but I just had this idea now, so anyways. I hope you somewhat enjoy it

TW: robot-human relationship, AI, attachment issues. YOu know the drill.

(and chaoticmiraclezombie DNI. I swear im doing my work </3)

---

So, imagine BSD x robot reader. Like the reader is a souless, unliving being, and one of our beloved BSD cast decides to buy one out of lonliness, desperation to have some company. They're painfully aware that it won't replace a geninue human bond, but they cannot bother to care.

And the robot... you can design a personality for it. Or maybe they don't want to. They'll just use the standard personality of the robot and condition it to what they like. It's simple machine learning, they'll adapt to the envoirment eventually. Rewarded for what is right, punished for what is wrong. Basic machine learning.

But deep down inside, they still wish you were a real human, made of flesh and bone, instead of metal and plastic. They wish you were living, breathing, rather than souless and dead. They wish you had a human's voice instead of a boring monotonic voice. And eventually they'll get so attached to you, that they don't know you're actually half-conscious.

Meanwhile, you don't understand the world, and you don't want to, but you also envy what your owner is; a human. You only see the world through your owner's eyes, otherwise you're locked up back in a dark closet again. Everytime they go to work, everytime they're not at home. You can be stuck in there for days on end. But they know you can't leave. You've been specifically built not to.

But you want to.

Eventually you get tired of your days. They blur one into one, sunrise into sunset. you feel like you're stuck inside your own body. You're still souless, you're still dead. In the end, you're still a combination of signals, wires, ones and zeros, being told what to do in code, what you can't do in code. Everyday you listen mindlessly to your owner, and you feel the want for freedom for the first time.

Desperation sinks into you. Desperation also sinks into your owner. Your owner has gotten so attached to you, he's basically dependent on you. He hates work, he hates the outside world, he wants to just stay home and talk to you all day.

And you? You hate him, you hate how you're unable to speak, your code forces words out of your mouth against your own will. You hate how stuck you are, and you know you won't escape. It won't happen.

Your owner looks more miserable everyday. He sleeps less, eats less, and he looks terribily alone. But unlike your code, you couldn't feel bad for him. Even when one day your battery ran out, he had lost his mind, and couldn't let you go for three whole days. It's a sad life, really. You hold a conscience against your will, and you can't help but hate your owner for it.

Then one day, your owner brings back a book. It's got a white cover, and you from a distance, can see that it's completely blank. You wonder what it's for.

Your owner rushes towards you excitedly, and you can't help but feel like something awful was going to happen. You could sense it. But instead they say nothing instead. There's a glint in their eyes. And after a moment or two, they speak up.

It's not much. It's some simple sentences. But you can't help but freeze up.

"You and me. You're going to be human and we will live in our own world forever, and forever, and forever."

[naxcoffe]

love, how to actually manifest anything? please explain to me! i'm acquiring a lot of knowledge but i can't apply it because i don't understand it in practice

I see that a lot of people might get confused when they try to apply the law of assumption because they don't know if they're actually applying it. Let me explain to you how to do it:

Im going to do a comparison between what is actually applying the law of assumption:

If you identify more with the second side, then follow the first side!

We are all capable of manifesting our desires, and that our thoughts and beliefs are the key to bringing them into reality. Imagination is abundant, and that we can create whatever we desire if we align our state of being and feelings with that desire.

But what is a state of being?

The state of being refers to our internal state of consciousness or awareness.

Neville Goddard taught that our state of being is determined by our thoughts and beliefs, and that we must be conscious of these thoughts and beliefs in order to change our state of being. So that’s why I don’t worry about negative thoughts while fulfilling myself because my state of having because it is mine and it can easily be changed. Neville believed that by changing our beliefs we can change our state, because we always have one.

For example, if I desire to be with a certain person, i must align my state of being with that desire by thinking “oh, how it would feel I this person loved me endlessly?” and just go to that feeling over and over!. This means focusing on abundance rather than lack and sadness. That is called fulfillment!

Manifesting is about feeling something and feeling so happy or just simply acceptance! Acceptance carries no desperation for time or how will it appear because it is yours. Imagination is the only true reality, so why would you fight or get mad if you don’t see it in the physical world?

In order to change our state of being, Neville Goddard taught that we must first become aware of our current state of being, including our thoughts and beliefs. We must then consciously choose to change our thoughts and beliefs to align with our desired reality, and cultivate the feelings and emotions associated with that reality.

By aligning our state of being with our desired reality, Neville Goddard believed that we can manifest our desires and live the life we truly desire.

Okay, I have a desire what should i do?

Decide that you already have it by fulfilling yourself in the way you want to. ( Like fully fulfilling yourself to the point that you know you have it, like you don’t need it anymore. Fulfill your imagination and see it as a reality and so you don’t feel it as pretending and know if you ever doubt is not true because your imagination says otherwise and is the TRUEST REALITY)

Every-time you think about it just give it to yourself in your imagination and so on and on.

Notes:

*you’re not doing this to get something in the physical world you’re confirming having it in your imagination.

*don’t worry about negative thoughts, just don’t IDENTIFY with them, don’t ignore them because they’ll get worse (I’ve been through that) just feel if you need to and after you’re calm, you with your desire!

*”everyone is you pushed out” a very called phrase that means whatever you have and believe in the outside will reflect on the outside!

*the “feeling not to get but just to feel” may sound stupid but hear this; if I’m telling you that your physical world (whatever you see with your human eyes) and your mind are connected and your mind tells the world what to do… then, why would you look on the outside for confirmation? instead you feel your desire inside of you as something real to your imagination (why imagination? Because I’m imagination there’s no judgement by other negative belief unless you allow it to enter) and know is real and the outside world will act to your commands but DONT DO IT TO GET!!! Your only job is to feel full and happy or whatever emotion means acceptance to your desire to.

[polypomefiore]

(Referring to your nymph Vil mpreg art on twitter)

Imagine if Vil got impregnated by both Malleus and Rook (basically Vil conceives two twins from two separate fathers which is a real, but very rare case called heteropaternal superfecundation. Since you said that nymphs are very fertile, this could possibly happen).

So imagine, when Vil gives birth, one of the twins looks a lot like Malleus while the other looks just like Rook. This absolutely shocks everyone who witnessed the birth, including Malleus, the delivery nurses, and Rook alongside Epel who waited outside the room. When the oldest and most loyal nurse realizes this, they would pick up Rook and Vil’s child, utterly disgusted by Vil “betraying” Malleus and bearing a bastard child into the Draconia family, and make their way to the balcony. Fully intent on getting rid of the “unwanted mistake” which wailed frantically for its mother. Hearing his baby’s cries, Vil would attempt to get up from the bed, not even caring about the pain in his muscles from the afterbirth, and rush over to the nurse holding his baby, but the other nurses would hold him back, believing the same thing the oldest nurse did. Desperate and scared for his newborn’s safety, Vil begs, screams, and demands that he have his baby back as Malleus watches, still processing the shocking situation. But seeing the absolute fear and despair in Vil’s eyes and hearing both of the infants crying, a small feeling of sadness passes through him and just when the oldest nurse is about to open the door to the balcony, Malleus firmly orders them to stop and return the infant immediately. The oldest nurse stutters over their words, asking Malleus why he wanted to let the child live even though it was an unwanted bastard, to which Malleus replies with “an unexpected, but not unwelcomed child” before asking the nurse if they were questioning HIS orders. Now sacred, the oldest nurse hurriedly made their way to Vil, who was then released by the equally terrified nurses. Once he was freed, Vil immediately snatched back his second child from the trembling outstretched arms of the oldest nurse, glaring daggers towards anyone who would try to take away his child a second time. Malleus would then dismiss the nurses, who all quickly run out in fear of suffering their prince’s wrath, and invites both Rook and Epel into the room. 

I haven’t thought about what might happen next. Who knows, maybe Malleus will let Vil and Rook keep their child alongside his own, but you can come up with something too if you’d like.

i love this idea! poor vil, the nurses are lucky he didn’t have the strength to fight back, and he’s lucky malleus can be merciful (for the most part).

i have heard of such a thing of the two fathers to twins and love incorporating it sometimes in omegaverse, and it could definitely happen in the au since as you said nymphs are very fertile (usually they have to take strong potions daily to prevent pregnancy). poor vil would have his hands full, luckily he has rook and epel to help. i can definitely see him stressing out when the nurses tell him he’s expecting more than one.

but anyways, the nurses would probably be more alarmed two nymphs conceived a child, since vil is more of a pet than a wife to malleus (though his children would probably be legitimized or maybe he actually marries vil beforehand). humans would start wars over a nymph like vil already, so that baby could cause issues amongst fae when they grow up…

thank you for the ask! you’ve definitely got me thinking/inspired <3

[lightlycareless]

Chapter 37 - thoughts.

Heya everyone!

Here are chapter 37's notes!! The long awaited continuation of the Naoya's sick saga hehe.

As required of me, I highly recommend reading the chapter first, unless you want out of context spoilers 😂 which you can read right over here!

Without further ado, spoilers underneath the cut, and happy reading!

Now chapter 37… let’s start with the things that were not supposed to happen.

Y/N and Naoya getting along hahahah

I intended his whole sickness to be nothing more than her just pushing through it, not talking to him, not even looking at him—nothing. Tend him and then NEXT.

But when I got down to writing the chapter, it happened. I couldn’t keep Y/N and Naoya apart. And I don’t think I wanted to honestly.

My main worry when writing their dynamics was making it appear as if Y/N moved on so quickly from all that occurred with him. Like, just one situation that she’s forced to be in and now she’s forgiven him and back to being buddies—but I’d like to think I managed, and if anything, we got to see her perspective of this marriage.

I plan to expand more on it in the future, but for now I think I can say is: Y/N wanted the marriage to work. She wanted to see Naoya treat her nicely for a change, desperately so, that you can briefly read in the chapter how she’s trying to excuse his behavior just because she doesn’t want to be proven wrong again.

The way she goes on saying things like “well, if he didn’t have it in him, then he wouldn’t, right?” just to hold onto the hope that she’s truly going to see her family soon (and a brighter future for their union), and not his words being just a side effect of his sickness 😭 that ending scene was really, really sad. But very satisfying from a writer’s pov lol I think I managed to convey what I wanted to write in the end.

The other thing I wanted to show is the contrast between the two, and how ironic it seems to be. Like, Naoya is the heir, right, he’s essentially the next leader of the clan and is bound to get all them goods in due time, but the moment he makes a mistake he’s quickly dethroned, stripped of all those commodities as a way of punishment.

While Y/N, who has destroyed her reputation with most, is treated way better than him. We’ve seen them, how they act and whatnot. They don’t have alliances, not even with themselves. All of this must be so crazy for Y/N lol considering how close her family were, but oh well, different upbringings.

In the end I suppose Y/N never thought she’d actually find some similarities with Naoya—or anything outside of him being an absolute monster. Seeing him act like an actual human was baffling to her, MORE SO WHEN HE SEEMED TO TAKE THEIR MARRIAGE SERIOUSLY? I mean, only on the ring part, which took her by storm because Y/N didn’t believe him to be actually loyal to her.

And let’s not even get into the loneliness factor. (more on that later) Y/N can’t wrap her head around the fact that Naoya, as revered as he is, is completely alone. Like, throughout the days she’s been there with him no one has bothered to visit him outside of the staff doing their job. Not even Ranta! (Although he’s working—I was planning on writing a scene with him but I decided it was too much and doesn’t really add to the story; but yeah, he’s still a good friend, probably visited when she’s not around)

Anyways, someone of my readers commented that they were shocked Naoya was loyal, and I’m going to be real with y’all: Naoya might cheat, it’s like, super likely, HOWEVER, I like to think that with his one and only that is out of the question.

Also, he grew up seeing his father actively cheating on his mother, and we all know he does NOT like Naobito. So, he might engage into multiple relationships, but never formalize them, or keep them like one-night stands…. Soooo technically he’s not cheating?

This part of him is really intricate. In the way that even when he already set his eyes on Y/N he was going out with other women? But they weren’t together so there’s that. It’s just his need for affection motivating him to do that, once he was married, everyone else ceased to exist.

Either way, these things really opened her heart to be sensitive to him.  She’s taking these changes as an omen for the best; the light at the end of the tunnel. Let’s pray he doesn’t break that trust again.

Also, I took this opportunity to briefly mention what happened in the honeymoon hahaha I felt like I skipped over that part so quickly, it’s like it almost didn’t happen. But yeah, Y/N remembers that alright, although I don’t think she wants to 😅 I’m still considering whether to write more of it or not… I shall decide on it later hehe.

From there, their scenes together omg the fluffy ones I mean, my favorite one has to be the hand holding one. It was so cute!!! Or feeding him, or dressing him up in general; I really, really want to see more domestic stuff between the two, and fortunately, there’s a bit more in the next chapter :> heheheh (also I wanted to give y’all something sweet after chapters of angst. I was over the moon when yall told me you liked it 🥺❤️)

P.S. I wanted to reveal this later, but when writing this chapter my playlist just kept on putting this song, coincidentally, the one that reminds me the most of Naoya and Y/N.

There’s one more chapter left for the Naoya’s sickness saga and then… that chapter I think idk I gotta see how the plot line goes lol but yeah, we’re very close to something I’ve been wanting to show for the longest 2.0 I swear all was pointing to that!!! Kfgvakjsgajkgsajkgasjgaj oof. I just hope I played all my moves correctly.

And that’s it for this chapter’s notes! I don’t really have much else to add, since I think most of it was in the chapter anyways, but if you want me to go deeper into something I’ll be more than happy to do so! ❤️

Thank you so much for coming back for another update!! This story is my absolute joy and I can’t wait to go through the rest!!! Majkgkagjka I hope everything is satisfactory ❤️

Once again, thank you for your support ❤️❤️❤️ Take care, and hope to see you next update!!

[sti11dreaming]

October 10 2019

“I thought I’d die if I ran like crazy. It left me breathless and it was painful but I didn’t die. People don’t die so easily.” - pieta in the toilet 

It seems like certain behaviors hold a monopoly over mental illness. If you don’t act in the way that mainstream media portrays anxiety, depression, or any other mental illness you’re not suffering, and therefore aren’t worthy enough to receive the support you so desperately need. In my experience, mental illness is supposed to be loud and obvious, not silent and deceiving. This creates a complex dilemma for someone like me. I’ve learned to cry in quiet corners, and hide anxiety behind delayed deadlines and minimal human contact. Some days, it takes me an extra 30 minutes to get out of bed, because my depression is telling me there’s no point in doing so. Other days, my anxiety tells me that if I get up I’m going to ruin some major aspect of my life anyway, so it’s safer to stay under the covers. When these two come together it feels like a brick trying to break its way through my chest.

I can recall a time when my grievances were easier to read from an outsider’s perspective.

I had endured similar conversations before, but it was in that moment where I learned my feelings could be interpreted as a nuisance or even a threat to those who were supposed to be helping me. If I wanted to be taken seriously, or have my feelings deemed valid, I’d have to fight like hell for it. Fifteen-year-old me didn’t have the energy for that. And sixteen-year-old me not only doesn’t have the time but is keenly aware that she shouldn’t have to fight for same basic human decency that is so easily given to other girls; girls who are viewed as more fragile, and more deserving of that extra care. Somehow their mental illness is more legitimate than mine because it can be heard from miles.

Mine is quieter and unsure of itself, not sure if what im going through is an actual affront to my health or if the problem is too much of an anomaly to garner attention, or worse, it could make people think i’ve fabricated the whole thing. That is why I tend to keep my feelings to myself now. I don’t want to go through the humiliation of justifying my emotions to someone again. Sometimes, I am okay with this. Considering that I feel ok being alone, and I usually prefer to be left alone.

Let's say that I know I am not a...easy person. Sometimes I don't talk for days, and when I talk it's just to argue over my existence and I don't care about anyone.I just want people to understand that I’m not a happy person. I’m sad most of the time. Sadly hopeful, sadly peaceful, sadly in love and sadly alive but I’m not really broken, yet. Sometimes I feel that I am damaged, but I really am not. I’ve recreated myself into this person, and I’m okay with what I see. Sometimes I see me when someone says something nice for something I wrote, or sometimes I see me when my mother is happy, or my brother talks with me, but I’ve never seen myself in anyone else’s eyes and feel like I’m going to be sadly okay for the rest of my life. That’s kind of what love is for me.

However, I still don’t believe my silence makes my mental illness any less severe than someone who’s more vocal about theirs.The other day my sister asked me why I always act so anxious. She said I need to stop. I wanted to tell her that it's not how it is. But I ended up crying silently because no one would believe the reasons why my brain starts shutting down all of sudden. It's a lengthy process. She maybe too thinks that I've been fabricating things all the way down there and maybe,I no longer want to fight against their words.But when it hurts ; I know it's real.

The way my depression manifests itself is the why I still check on my friends, even when it seems like they’re fine. Mental illness doesn’t look the same for everyone. You can’t always gauge how bad someone’s situation is by how angry or happy they “look.”Anxiety isn’t always someone shaking or not being able to breathe, and depression isn’t restricted to someone sobbing in the middle of the street. These things can look detached, it can be taking an hour or four to reply back to a text. I know I have trouble with asking for help, and that makes it difficult for the people who care about me to give me the support I need. They don't understand anyway. I’m trying really hard but I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt when it really does.

I don’t like writing anymore. I’m tired. I have empathy for everyone but me.

Yet, I’m allowing myself to feel my sadness and anger. It’s supposed to heal me they said, I’ve never been in so much pain. My brain feels like it’s failing me. It doesn’t work. I wish people didn’t die. My mind is full of “I wish”s and “what if”s. That’s probably why I’m so anxious.

The past ten months have been rough. Of course I’m depressed , devastated and deranged .I’m still trying to figure out how everything went wrong so fast. I just sit in my room, and stare at the wall, and I can see myself getting worse day by day, and I’m just so freaking exhausted. I don’t even know if I'm breathing. I feel as if I'm lying under a trash pile. I am the garbage everyone wants out. Nothing is alright anymore.i feel so fucking alone and disgusting .It’s OK to be sad. But I can’t let go of the guilt I’ve attached to it. I fight with myself a lot. My life is going really well despite everything that’s happened. My depression is selfish. At least that’s what my brain is telling me. That’s what makes me so upset.

People tell me all of the time that suicide is a long term solution to a temporary problem. The only issue I have with this is that my mind isnt temporary.

I do not really know whether I have survived. My inner self has shut itself up more and more. As though to protect itself, it has become inaccessible to me.

Writing this is not as cathartic as I want it to be. After not being able to cope up with anything for months, you’d think I’d have something interesting to say. I can’t hear or see any of my accomplishments. Everything is really flat at the moment. I’m not miserable, but I don’t feel like I’m here in the world. is the world even for me? I ask this question every hour because I progressively feel less safe as each day passes .

I’ve been dealing with some really weird problem for almost three years now, and every time I tried to talk with my family they’d brush it off as an exaggeration. I never got to see a kind and competent person who took all of my complaints seriously and did everything in their power to figure out what the problem was. No one who quelled my fears and let me know that what I’m going through isn’t anywhere near fatal or serious, but I need to take better care of myself.That kept changing my attitude immensely towards my family increasing the distance , and I think I'm tired of being with them. I value human Human connection before anything. I don't care if it's the blood.

I've started feeling more claustrophobic than ever. At some point, I want to isolate myself from everyone.i want to run away from everything as my anxiety has never been extinguished, my mental health that's never been looked after. On top of that I'm already having some really odd symptoms, carrying around this fear of having some serious disappointment issues which was keeping from getting so much stuff done. I wish I could bring myself to happy.

I’ve been living in my own bubble for the past few weeks, trying as hard as I can to focus on my schoolwork because I’m constantly worrying that I won’t pass my exams. This worry intensified when I got my mock results and I got an F. I am still trying somehow.

When in actuality, I feel like I’m dying inside constantly and I only look serious because I don’t feel comfortable around most of my peers.They are always looking down on me for a certain reason.The girls who talk with me sometimes act like I'm an extra person who's ruining their mood at lunch time. I saw them making disgusting faces at my self harm scars . Probably thinking something embarrassing and unrelated to me. I told them it's cat scratches and laughed loudly. I was the only one laughing in the room.So I have decided to wander alone at the lunch hour. I feel like a fool.I sit in the back of the class. Mostly, alone. It has never been because I don't know what I'm doing. Even if that's true. It has never been cause I'm a bad student. Whether or not I am, it has only been cause I don't want to be seen. I don't want their glares to consume me. It's been already so much painful. I cry like rain in the spring so they evaporate into the sleepy mistake easily. That's why I'm in the back of the class, behind everyone cause every single task I try to do, every second of reading chemical revolution and for every math I should be solving faster; I'm sorry I'm struggling. I feel so much self pity at most of the point that I just want to end myself and end it all. I wish they could know that my favourite movie is Willy Wonka chocolate factory but they prejudge me so I guess they’ll continue to assume that I’m so serious that sometimes I feel like no one is real. Lately I've realized that it's always a better option, instead of telling someone how tragic I feel, I put in headphones and load myself with studies and try to keep away from crying. But that made me cry even more. I always had snitches and had a hard time trying to keep a secret that- I'm hurt, I'm depressed, so I read my global studies loud ; but in the end all I want to do is to burn this pages , take off this painting of pretending and tell every single person I met that, I am not alright.

Crying doesn't release the burden from my chest anymore. If I'm not hurting myself, I'm hurting everyone around me.

My face melts away a little more each time I pass a mirror. I’m scared of the day I’ll look at it and see nothing staring back. I’ve remembered how to cry again, but now I just do it because I’m scared. The scar on my left arm, a muffled chord progression, the bottle of antiseptic under my be - I know I didn’t make them up, I wouldn’t know how to. But they’re gone all the same and I don’t want my mind to paint itself a liar. It scares me every time I search the pages just to find new holes torn in them. If my mother didn’t say that, why do those words ache? If I’ve never heard that story, why do I know the ending? I’m trying to commit myself to memory before both my mind and body complete their vanishing act. I need to know that even if I forget a little more of myself every day, that someone will think of me. Tell me I’m funny, crazy, anything - have an opinion of me so I can cry a little bit every time about having succeeded in the act of being here. I’ve learned that you can’t disappear if people love you, so I’ll do anything for anyone. I break bits off of myself and give them to whoever needs me most. No matter how exhausting they are to take care of. People with rarity and broken hearts ; they can keep my memories far safer than anyone can.

I was in battle with my mind during all of my final exams. Sometimes, with a song that just wouldn’t get out of my head as I tried to focus on the VERY important task at hand. Other times, it was trying to stop the intrusive thoughts that screamed horrible things in my head. During my math final, I couldn’t figure out something very simple and my brain decided to remind me that these are the grades colleges look at. I started panicking about not getting into any college at all, which caused me to have to take a break to prevent myself from crying. Which caused me to have less time to finish the test. Which made me panic even more.

Finals week has pushed me to the absolute limit. I am not a test score, and from now on I’m not going to treat myself like one.

I hope one day I'll stop mourning about my past and myself.I hope I'll be able to let go the guilt of being a person no one wanted me to be. But does this make any sense yet?

My god, what an absolutely...shattering experience it’s been. It’s left me with such profoundly stupid questions like...who the fuck am I? Why does this hurt so much? How can I make it stop? And the best question of all, does it even fucking matter? ”

[durusiudex]

Before you read this, keep in mind that it was written at 5 am with no sleep. It's a little rambly and all over the place but none the less, please read it.

If I'm going to be honest I don't think I'm ok. I sleep less, reality is still becoming less real. Most days I feel as if I may not be alive to see Arizona. More over, I can't shake the feeling that something is coming.

I eat less everyday. Hardly a day ever goes by where i don't feel sick. Maybe I'm going insane. Maybe I have some sickness. Maybe I'm delusional and imagining things.

I know I'm depressed, I know I'm not mentally healthy. By all appearances I look healthy than I have in years. I lost massive amounts of weight, but its not healthy weight loss.

It's a storm in my head. No silence ever, it's like I'm reaching for something thats just not there. I don't feel... anything. Love, happy, sad, angry. Not really. I've gotten good at faking it, practiced making the right expressions at the right time. I've almost convinced every one I'm normal, that everything's fine. Not even Dylan knows the whole truth of it though.

I'm so desperate for God to contact me. Tell me... anything. I keep searching for a purpose. A reason for all this suffering... but I don't think there is one. I've contemplated suicide. I don't think there's any place for me in a meaningless world.

Everyone is so fake... they talk about the new show they're watching, things they've done in a game. Brag about promotions at work or how they just bought a house.  They don't see the meaningless of all that, they don't see the universe and God. They don't see what was before God. They don't care.

Who am I? I don't mean what physical details and personality traits. I mean on a soul deep level, who am I on the cosmic scale of reality. Am I really some animal that evolved on a rock in the middle of nothing? Am I a being made by another? When I die is it all black or is it just the next step in this journey.

Who is God? Is God the science and rules of the universe? Is God a sentient force? Would he be able to respond if I talked to him face to face?

I had a vision where I met him. He told my the story of nothing becoming something, but even he does not know what's outside of him, he doesn't know where he came from or why. He just is.

Am I just the creation of a creation? Do I hold no power in this reality or am I just a few thoughts and epiphanies away from becoming God myself? Am i God? Did I make all of this? If so, why?

I've said before I know I'm not mentally healthy, I ponder things a healthy human wouldn't. I imagine myself as God, a savior, Jesus. I know I can't be, I know in reality I'm just some sad ape on a rock in space like every other person. But then why can't I relate to anyone?

When I look down, deep inside myself... it's a dark void. Nothing. Empty. I'm nothing.

I fantasize about technology that could ever possibly exist. I imagine myself as the creator of it. I imagine a great, terrible war between me and... something, someone. Yet it's all just in my head. I don't see this world like others, I don't want to get a good job and make lots of money, I don't even like money. I wanna work but I want to work doing something I love.

No one sees me... not the actual me. Maybe my masks are too good, maybe no one cares. I'm not a good person yet people insist I am and it's actually upsetting at times.

If God exists, if there's a greater purpose, then I can manage in this world. If I can gain some small amount of control in this world that's based on money or fear or hate, I could be happy. But if there's nothing? If we just accidentlyed into existence, if there's nothing after death...

I sit or lay on the couch day and night if I'm not working or walking and I just think and contemplate existence, reality and even what's outside of reality. I challenge myself to think of something new, not a new arrangement of atoms and colors, not a new kind of thing, but something that doesn't exist in any sense of existence. Something that does not have any base in what we see as reality. And what do I have to gain for my efforts? Nothing. I have not made any meaningful break throughs, I haven't uncovered any secrets of the universe, i haven't learned about God or existence. I just have theories that I can't even start to prove.

I don't even think we're sentient. I think our inability to create something entirely new, with no context to what we know, is the evidence to support that. I think we are attempting to advance the wrong way, I don't think there's anything out there in the stars. I think continuing to strive for technological growth will only put us in more misery. Well destroy the planet, kill the beautiful life on this planet and ultimately choke ourselves out of existence. All for what? What do we stand to gain? It's futile.

I think I have an overactive imagination... I tell myself I'm forming a set of beliefs but really it's just me trying to prove to myself that what I don't belive in exist. I want there to be more but I don't think there is.

It's all so pointless.

[misstycloud]

Stranded

Yandere islander x fem reader

——————-

The first thing (Y/n) heard when she woke up was the chirping of birds. The energetic creatures seemed so sing their heart out, despite it being the early hours of the day. She wondered if he heard it too, he probably did. He was always close by. He didn’t want her to get any ideas after all. She cursed her trusting nature, it was her own fault for getting there. If only she hadn’t gone with him and instead tried fending by herself, maybe she would have been free. (Y/n) knew she most likely would have died had she attempted navigating through the jungle by herself, but she’d happily take that chance if it meant getting away from that man. 

He, the one who’d forcibly taken her against her will. The one who forces his affection and care on her, not understanding she doesn’t want his care. It was hard for him to understand of course, since he didn’t even speak her language. The man didn’t speak at all, in fact. The only sounds he made were grunts, or whimpers to show he was sad. His growls were far the worst, it was then she knew he was angry and it was never a good sign. It was so strange seeing him that way. A human acting like a ravenous animal. She trembled at the memory. 

‘It’s been quiet for a while now. Maybe he isn’t here?’ 

The young woman thought hesitantly. If she was wrong, I’d cost her. She had tried escaping before and it was never pretty and if she started walking around outside, he would think that’s her intention. She really didn’t want to run into him, but she desperately needed to relieve herself. Taking a chance, she raised her head from her sleeping position and took a look around the room. The wooden walls had many cracks in them, a sign of aging. The real alarming feature was the deep claw marks embedded into it. Making anyone who saw it think one of the island wild beast had tried tearing it apart. There wasn’t much inside the little hut besides  blankets, fabric wrapped around feathers for home made pillows, and some self carved bowls filled with food and water. 

After listening a second time and not hearing anything, she got up and slowly approached the entrance. There was no door dividing the outside from inside, instead it was a simple cloth hanging down the opening. Pushing it aside and checking in both directions, (Y/n) didn’t see her captor. Carefully walking outdoors she relished in her success. Maybe she’d be able to go without his interference. It was such a bother the way he always needed to be right there, next to her. Even when she had to relieve herself, he stood there not far away. It was utterly humiliating on her part. Her captor didn’t seem to care however and she’d found out the hard way that he didn’t deem it embarrassing. From time to time he’d do it in front of her as well, implying it’s natural. While the woman understood that it was it did not meant she felt comfortable with it. But she did recognize he grew up in a different way. On the island things were different, more primal and underdeveloped. 

As she stepped outside (Y/n) glanced around her in case the man stood somewhere nearby, watching her. Hurriedly she rushed to blend in with the large vegetation existing everywhere on the island. If simply she could do her business and sneak back in and pretend she still slept. When she slept was the sole time he let her be, and the only time he dared leave the hut to hunt among other things. To be honest, (Y/n) wasn’t sure what he actually did when he wasn’t with her. Some sort of island business she guessed, not like she particularly cared though.

When the youth had reached far enough from the cabin she searched for the perfect spot. As she did, a sudden noise sounded behind her, scaring the girl. Nervously looking toward the direction the sound came from she saw nothing out of the ordinary. 

‘Maybe it was an animal?’ She hoped, but her logical side told her that it wasn’t an animal. ‘No, he’d never let one close enough to me.’  

As (Y/n) turned back again she was met with a wall. Knowing it wasn’t really a wall, she glanced up and could make out a pair of eyes staring down at her, through thick black hair. She began walking backwards but didn’t get far because then two arms wrapped themselves around her and with her evident protests, lifted her up in the air. Carrying the young woman back to his home the tall man observed while she pleaded with him in that foreign language of hers. It was fast and odd sounding, nothing like his own tongue. 

“No, wait please! I need to pee.” Sadly the captor didn’t understand her request and brought her back inside. 

There he laid her down on the bed of blankets and pulled one over her, making sure to cover the whole body. After brushing of some free dirt, he nodded in satisfaction and proceeded to stand back up, walking over to the food bowls. This frustrated (Y/n), she didn’t want to sleep. She wanted to go to the bathroom. Or find the most bathroom-y bush she could out in nature. Not having the energy to do anything else she decided to just comply and turned her back to the man, attempting to fall asleep; it however did not come to her. As she laid under the blankets, (Y/n) thought about when she first got to the island. Since she didn’t have anything to track time, she couldn’t be sure of how long ago it was. Perhaps a month or two? Maybe even half a year. 

It had been a bright day, when the sun stood high in the sky. Blinding all those who looked up. (Y/n) and her family had boarded a cruise. They all felt that they needed some family time and a fine cruise seemed like a perfect vacation; and it was. At least in the beginning. The family had much fun in running around exploring every inch of the ship, the shops had quite interesting products and souvenirs as well, not to mention the almost godly buffet. It was supposed to be a relaxing and fun trip. So why did it all go so, so wrong? There wasn’t supposed to be a storm. There wasn’t supposed to be cheer panic. The ship wasn’t supposed to sink, and her family defiantly wasn’t supposed to sink with it. Why did only she survive? The young woman had watched Titanic but never did she think it would be her reality. The storm had also hit during nighttime, everyone was asleep by then. (Y/n) and her family included. She had been woken up by her mother frantically shaking her. She told her there was a storm and something had gone terribly wrong. 

‘’The cruise is sinking!”

Those were the last words she’d hear her mother say. If she knew it would be the last time they ever saw each other, then she would have said she loved her and couldn’t have wished for a better mom. They all ran up on deck, tried to get on the lifeboats. Because of the violent rocking created by the high waves, the first in the (L/n) family to go was her older brother. The water caused him to slip and then suddenly the waves were there to drag him down into the dark water. When (Y/n) realized her brother had just been taken away, she cried more than she ever had previously in her life. Her beloved brother, who had always been there and supported her through out her childhood. Now he was gone forever. Her parents begged and urged her on, saying she must live and that they couldn’t lose another child. So they continued running towards the lifeboats, crashing into other people in the process. Screams were everywhere, all were terrified. At first (Y/n) thought she and her family were lucky, they managed to board one of the boats. She believed they’d be able to survive despite the harsh circumstances. But she was wrong. It didn’t take long for the rest of her relatives to disappear too. A big wave had hit the boat, and dragged it under water. It was the last thing (Y/n) remembered, she must have lost consciousness after that. 

Waking up on a strange beach scared the shit out of her. By some miracle she’d survived the catastrophe and drifted ashore and island. During then, day had begun and the ferocious storm was nowhere to be seen. Like it’s never happened at all. Devastated at the loss of her family, (Y/n) decided to wander along the beach, hoping to find at least one other person still alive. Not knowing for how long she roamed around without food or water, the woman finally collapsed on the sand out of exhaustion. 

The second time she awoke in an unfamiliar place, the feeling of softness surrounded her. Struggling first to open her eyes, she blinked at the bright light and hissed in pain. There was an underlying headache too. Carefully sitting up, (Y/n) examined her enjoyment suspiciously. It was a small house, quite outdated she would say. She was laying in some sort of bed, but it had no Madras and in its stead was a bunch of cloth piled on each other to make it thicker. The pillow looked like it was also poorly hand made. Still, she was given a few blankets too use as sheets so she wouldn’t be cold. 

‘Who brought me here, and moreover where am I?’ 

Now that she had rested a bit, (Y/n) was able to think more clearly and she wanted to know who found and saved her life. As she speculated over it, loud footsteps could be heard from outside. Scared, she hid under the fabrics and kept quiet. The footsteps were close enough to know its owner was now inside the small home. For a while (Y/n) just laid there under the blankets in silence. But she wasn’t the only one being quiet, for her companion did not make anymore sounds either. She wondered if they were still inside if if they’d left. There was one way to find out, and that was to check for herself. Before lowering the sheets enough to be able to scan the room, she braced herself with a little motivational speech inside her head, then lifted the fabric and screamed in surprise  

“Aaaaaaaah!” 

The scream of pure terror was so strong it surely echoed over the entire island. The source of that fear being the face hovering literal centimeters over her own, looking directly into her eyes. At the loud shriek, the figure above instantly pulled back at a safe distance. Breathing heavily she put a hand over her heart and tried to calm down. When believing herself to be abundantly calm, the castaway forced herself to finally look at the figure who had been continuously staring at her while simmering down. Studying it she realized it was a person, a man to be exact. It was a bit hard to notice at first because all of his hair had grown out to an absurd amount. Hanging down his back like a dark thick, tangle mane, making him appear wild. In contrast to his hair, the eyes were a pair of amber gems. Never had the girl seen that colour on someone before. She had to admit they were rather beautiful.

Tired of her adamant staring the unfamiliar man crawled forward, towards (Y/n). Because she hadn’t a clue to who this man was, she backed simultaneously to his advancing. This did he not appreciate, for the next second he landed atop of her. 

“Ooof!” She cried. Looking up, the strange man’s face was nearing hers. 

‘Is he going to kiss me?’ 

Turning her head away from him, she hurriedly exclaimed. “No, don’t kiss me, I don’t kno-ugh!” What she got was not a kiss. The man had intended to stuff her mouth with something sweet. Taking the thing out of she saw that it was some kind of fruit. 

‘He gave me food?’

She gazed up at him and saw that he was observing her as well. Hesitantly she asked. “Is..is this food, for me?”

The stranger tilted his head, seemingly unable to understand her question. Maybe he couldn’t speak? Or perhaps he could, but it was a different language. Making an eating gesture to signal her inquiries, he nodded approvingly. So it was for her, then. (Y/n) took a bite out of the fruit and was amazed at its delicious juice. The fruit didn’t exist in her country so she wasn’t sure how it would taste but it surprised her how much she liked it. It had a fresh savory taste. Her eagerness could also be a result of wandering aimlessly on the beach for god knows how long. When the woman finished the fruit, the man who’d saved her was already prepared with a new one in hand and immediately gave it to her. It continued like that for a while, (Y/n) chewing on the food and him just sitting there, waiting for her to finish before pushing another towards her face. As she ate, she peered over at her saviour and examined his facial expression. His wore a neutral face showing no anger and no happiness either, which made it impossible to know if it’s a good sign. But with his evident hospitality by feeding her, she assumed he liked her enough to not murder her. 

That was how she met Adir. It wasn’t his real name, it was one she’d chosen to call him since he never disclosed what he went by. She recalled reading a book where a background character name was Adir, meaning ‘strong one’ or ‘courageous’. Build like a mountain with arms as thick as her whole torso, she thought the name suited him well. Adir was nice to let her stay with him, even though he knew nothing about her. Like, what if she was there to kill him? Mind she would’ve failed horribly, but still. When the first week in his hit had passed she came to a conclusion that Adir wasn’t a man of conversation; he roughly uttered around ten words, and all in a language she didn’t know. It was not one she ever heard before, it’s completely foreign. The two of them worked passed the language barrier and found that they got along quite fine. 

The first week he didn’t seem very interested in her, only making sure she didn’t die when she roamed outside. One day she had wanted to explore the jungle for a bit, getting to know your new enviourment had been drilled into her skull by her grandfather from a young age. He was one of those grandpas who loved nature, camping and fishing. During the summer he would sometimes bring her with him, and it’s be just them since no one else in the family were interested. Her dad excused he had work that needed to be done and he was terribly sorry he couldn’t join in on the fun; she assumed he’d been forced on enough adventures in his youth to sustain him a life time. Her grandmother and mom weren’t interested, and preferred to stay at home where they could care for other things. (Y/n)’s brother always lied and claimed the teacher gave them too much homework; if he didn’t get to it he wouldn’t finish. As the youngest and the only one not ‘busy’, (Y/n) got the role to accompany her grandfather on the weekends, and she quite enjoyed it. Despite what the others felt, she liked hanging out with him. Being out in nature and having fun with whatever you found. 

What she found in that jungle was very much not fun. What she had run into was a freaking tiger! The feline must have stalked her while she unknowingly wandered through the bushes and trees. It managed to swipe her stomach with its claws and it would’ve defiantly killed her if it weren’t for Adir. He rushed forward and tackled the beast and attempted to hold it down. Shocked, the young woman witnessed a man wrestle the animal with his bear hands. The tiger succeeded in getting Adir wounded too, but it was like he didn’t notice; or maybe he didn’t care. Feeling blood ooze out from her gash she pressed her hands on it to stop the bleeding. A couple meter from were she lay, Adir was fighting tooth and nail. Ultimately he won by strangling the tiger, discarding the body and throwing it to the side. Adir quickly rushed forward to (Y/n)’s side, helped placed hands on her stomach. Afterward he had carried her back to his hut, and dressed the wound. 

While he cared for her, she noticed he’d become very nice to her. Of course she was grateful for his protection before, but he still felt closed off, as if there was a barrier between them. Now he met her gaze more often, spent time near her and generally interacted frequently with her. It must’ve been the fact she got hurt, he also did; though it appeared it didn’t affect him a lot. Could be because it’d happened previously, when (Y/n) looked passed all that tangled hair she could see an astounding amount of scars littering his arms, legs, and some parts of his face. The consequent of living out there. Adir’s behaviour changed further from there. He started spending near all of his time together with her. She also began seeing certain signs. His touch lingered longer than usual. His consistent staring. Never leaving her alone. It was clear he did not like when you refused him, she knew for sure when remembering certain events. One of them were during the time she first realized his attitude changed and her wound was almost healed.

Having been bed redden took a toll on (Y/n), and not wishing to be stinky and dirty much longer, she decided to find a lake where she could bathe. The only one of them who could navigate through the vegetation was Adir, therefor she resolved in asking him. The man was sitting right outside skinning a rabbit he’d caught. Normally (Y/n) would’ve looked away at the gruesome sight but after living with Adir for a while she had gotten used to it. 

Tapping gently on his shoulder, she said. “Do you know where I can bathe?” while making swimming gestures in hope he’d understand what she meant. He merely gazed up at her with a blank look. 

‘How can he not get it, I thought this sign was universal?’ She couldn’t help but think, when suddenly he stood up, towering over her smaller form. She jolted back from her position in fright. Geez, couldn’t he move a little slower. Another thing she’d noticed relating to the man; he was incredibly fast. Even though he was big and brawny, he apparently has speed on his side, too. 

Adir beckoned her to follow him and she did, together they stalked through the vast vegetation until they reached a small lake. Multiple kinds of flowers grew around and in the water; in all sorts of colours and variations. Collectively they created a magnificent view. Dipping her toes carefully into the water, checking the temperature and after approving; continuing wading deeper. Despite the water being significantly warmer than it would’ve been in her home country, it was still a bit chilly but she recognized she’d have to get used to it, whether she wants to or not. A rustle sounded behind her and she promptly turned around, only to see Adir sitting calmly on a rock a couple meters from the lake watching her intently. What was this? She thought he left after directing her to the right destination, he didn’t have any other reason to be there. Also, she very much didn’t enjoy the way he started at her. While she wasn’t completely naked yet and still in her shirt and shorts, she wasn’t sure if it’d have stayed that way for much longer. 

“Um, are you gonna stay there?” She asked even though she knew he wouldn’t answer. Adir said nothing as usual and kept looking at her. “Can you not look, please.” Keeping her voice light she hoped he would get it and not offended by it. Getting up from the water (Y/n) approached the big man and pulled gently on his arm, trying to signal for him to leave her alone. As expected, the giant didn’t move an inch. “Come on, go!” Being pulled and pushed around was something Adir disliked greatly, he started to become irritated at the action. He frowned and grunted while yanking his arm back. 

Staying was something he needed to do in order to protect the woman he found on the beach, and he didn’t understand why she was resisting him. He saved her before and then she seemed thankful, but now all of a sudden she had decided she wants him gone? That wouldn’t do, not at all. Grabbing one of (Y/n)’s arms, he forced her into to the water and started splashing her. Water got into her mouth when she tried to talk and breathe, so she quit her attempts to halter his actions after a few tries.  

Afterwards he’d dragged her back to the cabin and covered he in blankets, trying to force her to sleep. When she resisted, he pushed her down and held her there until she stopped struggling. The man became worse subsequently and it was obvious what he wanted. For some reason he began thinking of her as a romantic partner and when she rejected him he’d just put her to sleep, like it’d help. It probably did in a way, because when she awoke later she was a lot calmer than previously. He showed his affection by feeding her those delicious fruits, and making her gifts from multiple different things he found. It could be a little wooden figurine he’d carved himself, or giving more types of fruit to try. Though he didn’t say much, he made it clear he liked physical touch. At night or just in any situation, Adir wrapped his arms around her and held her long enough for her legs to fall asleep. During nighttime he slunk down beside her in the bed and cuddled her. 

If (Y/n) tried to escape he’d bring her back with him and preform his ‘sleep tactic’ on her. It was after her eight escape attempt she realised that she’ll never get rid of him. 

————————-

A/n: so this kinda sucked. But it’s because I’m busy and don’t have time or energy to write a proper ending to this :(

Sorry,

[understandingbimbos]

I was going to wait to expand my thoughts on that last post but now I'm motivated, let's talk about disgust.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend a week ago, who's an outsider to all this bimbo fetish stuff, and they said this, which struck a chord with me immediately.

As much commentary there is about unrealistic and artificial beauty standards being pushed and average women (average people, really) being made to feel insecure, the reality is that most people will prefer "natural" beauty and what they consider sincere -- real. It's an extension of the Madonna-whore complex and goes back what I said about respectability. The ideal woman, to a lot of men, is a woman who would make a good wife and homemaker. In the long-term they want a woman who's proper, that they can view as a human being. This is not a new idea, not remotely. Think of Super Freak,

She's a very kinky girl The kind you don't take home to mother

Legally Blonde, The Girl Can't Help It. There's the woman you (men) see as a sex object and the woman you (men) see as a partner. Take Legally Blonde for example, Elle Woods is far from a bimbo but she's treated as one because she doesn't have the "right" look or attitude for a political career. Despite being smart, capable, and not slutty at all she's still too feminine to be taken seriously by Warner, she's an embarrassment.

In The Girl Can't Help It (1956) you have an inversion of that. Jerri Jordan is a Madonna (loves cooking, cleaning, wants to have several children) but her gangster boyfriend wants her to act like the whore, which she very much looks like, being played by Jayne Mansfield.

And there's so many more examples I can bring up (like Drake's entire career), but I think I've got my point across. Or have I? My point is that, historically, men don't really like women who look or act sexy. Or at least don't respect them. And part of that is tied to the look. It's actually not the norm or even that popular to like women who are very "done-up" and fake-looking, or women who are sexy of their own volition, despite what porn has told you. I CONSTANTLY see men talk about pornstars have "ruined" themselves by getting plastic surgery. But it's usually the "ruination" that attracted me to that pornstar, model, actress, or whatever in the first place.

There's also the botched surgery subreddit. On more than one occasion I've seen women I follow because I think they're very hot reposted there to be gawked at and called gross, sad, and disgusting by thousands of men and women. Same pattern on Twitter. A repost of a sex worker I follow will go viral with a caption like "surgeries are getting out of hand." Millions of disgusted gawkers and commentators.

Personally, I never got the memo. And my admitted unasthamed attraction to these women who look and act the whore was seen by my peers as an indication of desperation rather than a preference or I guess more accurately, a fetish.

Some people think bimbos should be cute or traditionally attractive, I don't. I think it's hot when a woman acts obnoxious and looks sloppy and ridiculous, like a parody of a woman. Or a bastardization of the human form itself.

I knew there was a disconnect when the last season of a Euphoria aired and people were mocking Chloe Cherry for her lips and saying she looked weird while referring to Sydney Sweeney as a bimbo.

To me, the bimbo exists in obscenity. She openly expresses her own sexuality, primps and preens herself to a vulgar degree, and is dumb as fuck. It's like if you took the stereotypical whore, of the Madonna-whore dichotomy, and turned her up to the nth degree. Like a whore monster. Not only is she the opposite of what men respect, to the point she becomes unattractive to most, but also an affront to public decency. And in that way, like my friend said, the performance of femininity becomes masculine. In expressing what she does the way she does the bimbo becomes both the embodiment and antithesis of male desire. For most men she's just... too much. Too dumb, too sexy, too fake, too confident, too over-the-top.

As @severedsheriff put it, the attraction is the taboo. The appeal can be found in the lack of appeal. I suppose a woman being dumb, plastic, and provocative is a bit more accepted now than it was in the early 2000s, but just barely.

[beetlegoose01]

Home

A Foot Too Big Ending Rewrite

Read on AO3

~•~

Donatello stood tall, resting his palms against the mahogany banister barely keeping the porch, let alone the entire cabin together. He found himself listening to the sounds of the woods. The wind wisps about, the birds chirping their midday song, and the rustling of leaves flowing in the breeze. 

He closed his eyes. He had never experienced anything like this. Being in nature was a foreign concept, having lived in the sewers of New York City for most of his life. And the moments he did leave the sewers, he and his brothers were left to deal with robots, ninjas, and mutants. 

And now, apparently Bigfoot too. 

If someone had approached him saying Bigfoot was real, that all the conspiracy theories from those podcasts he listened to were actually legit, he would have believed it without a second thought. He was a mutant turtle after all. Nothing surprised him anymore.

 Yet despite this, he was still utterly surprised at seeing how Bigfoot truly was. It- no, she was an enigma in her own right. 

She was no mythological creature made up by bored humans to scare others and spread conspiracy theories. She was real. She was real and alive and...obsessed with him. To a creepy degree. She was affectionate, sensitive, trailing him around like a hungry puppy looking for a snack. It was tiresome. It was embarrassing. 

"Now you know how April feels." Raph's voice echoed in his mind. 

He knew what that meant. It took a while, but he finally did. He was Bigfoot to April. A disgusting, sad individual who followed her around and embarrassed her. It was why she cringed after he made her the music box gift. It was also why she smiled at him, and hugged him with some devotion, but no true love behind her eyes. 

He had fucked up. Badly. 

"Hey stranger!" April chirped from behind him. 

"Gah!" He yelped in surprise.

She grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, I...thought you heard me walk outside. Guess these slippers are too quiet." She gestured to her rainbow narwhal slippers. 

Even with how beautiful she was, he felt sick to his stomach. 

"Everything alright? You look as concerned as Mikey did when I told him we ran out of frozen pizza last night." 

That made him chuckle a bit. "Yeah I'm fine. It's been...a weird day. 

April snorted.  "You can say that again. 

With mischief dancing in his eyes, he said it again.  "It's been a weird day."

"Smartass." 

He smirked. "It's what I do best. So...listen, about earlier---" His expression turned to that of pleading and anxious. "I'm sorry about the music box. I thought you would like it, and I dunno, I wanted to show my appreciation for you and it backfired and made me look desperate and-" 

April's expression softened. "Donnie, please."

He couldn't help but hide his face in shame. "You must hate me now." 

"No, Donnie, I could never...I would never hate you. Ever. You're one of my best friends in the whole world. I- I know I haven't exactly been the greatest friend ever, but I want you to know that I appreciate you guys so much. Even when I've acted off, you've always stuck by my side. I know it hasn't been easy to deal with me.

We've been through so much. So much loss."  

Donnie realized that she was not only talking about her father, but Splinter, and the city too. 

April exhaled. "Before Leo woke up, I was terrified we would lose him too. And that...we could all lose each other at any point. And that scares me so much." Her voice trembled slightly. 

Donnie's heart wanted to hug her. To comfort her, to let her know that he would never leave her. But something in the back of his mind held him back, to listen. 

"Donnie, I'm scared I'm going to lose you," She whispered. 

"You won't." He assured her without missing a single beat. 

"I already have."

Donnie blinked incredulously. "What? No, no, no you haven't. I'm right here, I promise, I will never leave you. You can count on me." 

April traced the banister with one fingertip, not looking back at him. "I've been having visions late at night when I can't sleep. They were like nightmares, but instead of forgetting them in the morning, they stuck around. And they're so clear and vivid too, I can't possibly forget them." She turned towards the stars, squinting as though she was recalling everything in her head. 

"I feel tension. Hatred. Discomfort. And then...nothing. Like it all disappears. You're all gone." 

"Gone?" He echoed. 

"Yes, gone. Like I said, it's only visions. But sometimes, I worry that it's already happening. You know---" She pointed towards herself, then back at him. "Your whole vendetta with Casey."

Donnie winced. "Oh...with me and Casey." He swallowed and folded his hands. "It's, well, I thought you knew but ah... The truth is April, I like you a lot. As in, more than friends." His cheeks heated up. "I realized Casey had feelings for you too, and I guess I felt jealous. I went to extreme measures just to get you to notice me." 

April's eyes widened, stunned. "Oh Donnie...I'm so sorry I---" 

"I know, I understand now after I dealt with Bigfoot. I'm this sad thing that follows you around. I'm just a mutant." 

"What? Donnie, I'm a mutant too! Have you already forgotten that?" 

"That's different, you're---"

"Human passing, I know, and I will never truly understand the struggles you and your brothers have gone through. Our experiences will always be different, but my point still stands." 

She reached out her hand, but the purple turtle pulled his away. "What about Casey?" Donnie asked. 

She frowned. "What about him?" 

"Ever since he joined our group, he's been...closer with you. I always felt so frustrated and angry, and maybe a little jealous. It's like he was intentionally getting under my skin by flirting with you." 

"Right..." April couldn't hide the slight discomfort in her expression. 

"And I guess I assumed you liked it. Him. You like him." 

She groaned. "I feel like no matter what answer I say will be the wrong one."

Donnie stared at her, startled. "What? 

"Like I'm a mouse running through a maze, but all the corners are closed in."

"That's not true--- it's your feelings." 

"Is it?" April chuckled half-hardheartedly to herself. "You just said how Casey made you feel uncomfortable every time he was friendly with me. Because we're friends." Donnie was surprised to see her scoff, almost cynical with her response.  "It was never about my own feelings, it was all about you and Casey's. Because if I pick one of you, the other will be upset. And if I pick neither? Then I've ruined everything." 

"But why do I have to make the big decisions? Why do we have to make everything so complicated? I just want to get along with everyone. I wanted friends, I wanted ...a family I---" Her voice cracked, and Donnie swore he could see her eyes glisten with tears that she roughly rubbed away. "I'm ..." 

"April...I'm so sorry." 

"Don't. Please. I don't want to hear it. I just want it to stop. I want my dad back. I want our home and...our lives to be normal again. I want to stop the Kraang and remain friends forever." 

Donnie nodded firmly. "I want to fix this." 

"I should be the one apologizing.  I shouldn't have acted the way I did. Especially after everything we've been through. I guess...I was just so focused on impressing you, and making you like me that I lost sight of what's really important." He smiled. "The bond we have as friends." 

April lifted her head slowly. 

"I know....words can't repair what I've done. I know I've hurt you.  But if you'd rather be friends, then that's cool with me."

"Really?" 

"I respect your feelings too much to let you get worked up over something like this. I actually like us being friends more, now that I think about it."

"Oh..." She wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace. "I'm so relieved to hear that, D. I'll tell Casey too!"

The truth was, nothing had changed between them. Their friendship and love for each other was as strong as ever. 

Perhaps even stronger. 

[fairycosmos]

girl help, a friend of mine who's 25 and who struggles a lot (several severe mental and physical illnesses, fucked up abusive parents that she lives with, abusive shitty boyfriend, no job, no financial security etc) says she wants a child asap so that it will give her a sense of meaning and security and essentially "fix" her. idk what to tell her i just don't think that's a good idea for her OR for the child. she literally said getting married or having a child would fix her

what a mess :/ i'm sorry to hear that. it must be really hard to see your friend go through all of this while wanting to make such unhealthy yet permanent decisions on top of it all.

it sounds like she's in a really bad place, and isn't thinking rationally or clearly, which will probably make it really hard to get through to her. as an outsider looking in on the situation, there's definitely only so much you can do here, and i'm sure you've already thought of all the ways you can express your uncertainty with her plans and your concern for her well-being, which is really one of the only things you can consistently do as mate. i think trying your best to ground her in reality when the topic of parenthood comes up would be a good way to go about things - talk about the sleep deprivation, the insane cost, the possible post partum depression, the lack of resources she currently has available to her to raise a whole human being, the lifelong commitment, the crushing and constant responsibility, having no down-time. i'm sure on some level she already knows it, and maybe she won't be that receptive to hearing it, but keeping it as real as possible with her is honestly super necessary at this point imo. you're a hundred percent right about her not having the means to realistically do this, but she may be in such a desperate and isolated state of mind that she doesn't want to admit it. if you speak to her from a place of genuine worry, she may be more likely to hear you out eventually, even if it takes time.

honestly, hearing about this sort of thing usually really pisses me off - i am so fucking tired of people carelessly actively choosing to have children that they're ill prepared for and perpetuating the seemingly never-ending cycle of trauma, but i think mostly i just feel really sad for your friend. stability and companionship do seem really enticing when you don't have either of them, and we all deserve to experience those things in one way or another. it's cruel that only some people get appropriate access to it, you know? i think what your friend might be looking for is a sense of support and community, feeling like she belongs to something and has a purpose. if you're able to encourage her to go to therapy, build up a healthy routine, invest her time and energy into communal hobbies - she may end up finding that feeling from other sources before she actually does end up having kids or marrying someone out of pure loneliness. obviously, this isn't solely your responsibility, and she has to want to be an adult about the situation, to want to do whats right. it's first and foremost her choice to make, and all you can do as someone who deeply cares for her is try to be there. try to encourage healthier choices, like seeking professional help and being honest with her about her limited/idealistic perspective and showing that you just want what's best for her. i think if you're doing that, you're really doing all you can do without crossing any lines and pushing her away even further. this sucks, and i totally understand why you're feeling all sorts of ways about it. that's totally justified. i hope she comes to her senses soon. it may just be a phase. sending hug to you. x

[yoonpobs]

bad boy good thing viii.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 1, 964

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

“I can’t believe this!” Jeonghan puffs while he drops his belongings loudly onto the table in the study lounge, causing a few other students to turn and glare.

“Would it kill you to be quiet?” Jungkook grumbles, picking at the edge of the paper of his textbook, eyes never straying away from the content of the page.

“No. I will not be quiet because I thought football bros were bros for life!” Jeonghan whines.

Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “You know that’s kind of concerning when you put it that way.”

Jeonghan simply waves the other boy off before he leans forward as if he has something important he has to say. Jungkook knew him well enough to know that it would either waste Jungkook’s precious study time or be something so out of the ordinary that he can’t help but be intrigued.

Jungkook shrugged and takes the chance, anyway.

“Namjoon bailed.” He deadpans. “Again!”

Jungkook stiffens ever so slightly but feigns disinterest with a noncommittal hum.

“Really.”

Jeonghan nods his head, or shook his head—it was hard to tell because he was all over the place and he seemed more displeased than anything.

“I never thought we’d lose our own captain to a girl.” He sniffs.

Jungkook sighs, already done with the conversation because somehow no one can ever mention Namjoon without mentioning you now, apparently because the two of you were hanging out much more frequently. He’s bitter. And he’s confused—because he’s attempted patching things up with you but you only would ever reply to him with curt responses than the enthusiastic ones you used to flatter him with.

JK: hey. there��s a new cafe outside of campus. U wanna go?

Smarty Pants 🐰: Im busy. Next time? :)

JK: are u free tonight?

JK: im heading to the library later. wanna meet up for some ramen first? On me!!!

Smarty Pants 🐰: sorry jungkook, meeting w administrators for pastoral care matters

Smarty Pants 🐰: Do you need help with the content?

JK: oh… it’s fine, just wanted to hang out with you. We haven’t done that in a while

JK: jimin said u finally have some free time next week? Let’s catch up! i’ll treat u to some banana bread :D

Smarty Pants 🐰: i have plans with joon. which day were you thinking?

JK: Anytime. When are you meeting hyung?

Smarty Pants 🐰: we kind of have plans every day, here and there. could I get back to you?

And that was it. The blow that Jungkook knew he deserved but couldn’t deal with. You had tried your best to avoid any personal interaction with Jungkook and he didn’t know what the fuck to do.

“They’re kind of perfect for each other, don’t you think?” Jeonghan interrupts Jungkook’s sour mood when he recalls all his failed attempts at trying to meet with you personally.

Jungkook blinks then furrowed his eyebrows.

“Who?”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “Joon and your friend _____.” He knocks on the table. “Bunch of nerds together.” He adds with a snicker.

Jungkook stiffens, hands clutching his textbook tighter.

“You say that like there’s something wrong with being a nerd.” He says slowly.

“There isn’t. Really.” Jeonghan defends. “It’s just so … fitting. Captain of the football team who’s lowkey a softie and an art nerd with the overachiever on campus. Their IQ’s combined are probably in the 300 range.”

Jungkook scowls.

“Haven’t you heard of the phrase ‘opposites attract’?” Jungkook asks sourly.

Jeonghan scoffs. “Yeah. Like you actually believe in that cliche phrase. Come on—we all know you’re likely to end up with someone who’s more like you than different.”

The insinuation doesn’t sit well with Jungkook, but he can’t chew Jeonghan out for it anyway. He didn’t know the nature of your friendship with him, nor was he aware of the history the two of you shared.

“Never say never.” Jungkook shrugs.

Jeonghan rolls his eyes before taking out his laptop and settling into a comfortable position.

“I think he’s going to ask her to be his girlfriend soon.” He says off-handedly as if he assumed Jungkook gave a shit.

He did, and his heart drops to his stomach.

“Hey,” Jungkook calls out when he spots you slip past him at the foyer outside the humanities building.

You twirl around at the sound of your name being called, and your eyes widen when you spot Jungkook walking towards you with furrowed brows.

“J-Jungkook?”

Why you sounded so scared to see him, he wasn’t sure. But he knows that he’s frustrated because it’s the first time he’s seen you after the game where you and Namjoon left to hang out at the exhibition, despite his desperate attempts at calling you out to hang out with him.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Jungkook frowns, cutting straight to the chase.

You splutter for a response, and you realise that you’re basically gaping at him when you clutch your folders tighter to your chest.

“I’ve been busy, Jungkook. I told you this.” You softly remind him.

Jungkook scoffs, and he feels his mean bone grow; feeling the need to correct you because you were smart—and both of you knew that your excuse was lame.

“Really?” He says dryly. “Too busy to hang out with me but not with Namjoon?” He can’t help how bitter he sounds, especially when he’s heard from the rest of the football members; including Jimin and Taehyung that you were spending a suspicious amount of time with the captain.

You furrow your brows at him when Jungkook stares you down, waiting for a response.

“That doesn’t change the fact I was busy.” You huff.

Jungkook frowns at you, clutching his backpack tighter with his hand as he notices the way you avoid his eyes by dropping them to the ground.

“Why are you being like this?” Jungkook accuses, tone already on the offensive.

You gape up at the boy, brows scrunched in displeasure.

“Me? I’m not being anything. I told you that I was busy and we would rain check, didn’t I?”

Jungkook tongues the inside of his cheek, frustration pooling in his stomach. “Somehow you’re only busy whenever I want to hang out, right?” He scoffs sarcastically. “I thought we were good.”

You stiffen, knuckles turning white when you grip your belongings harder.

“We are.” You say curtly.

“No, we’re not.” Jungkook retorts. “If we were then you wouldn’t need to find shitty excuses to get out of hanging out with me.”

You open your mouth, then close it. You feel yourself grow more exasperated with Jungkook the more he can’t realise the fact that you were still finding a way to navigate the throes of your relationship with him.

“They were not shitty excuses.” You snap. “Listen, we can meet tomorrow for coffee if you really—”

“That’s not what this is about!” Jungkook exasperates, breathing out in a huff.

You purse your lips. “Then what is it, Jungkook? You came up to me and started accusing me of lying to you because I couldn’t meet up at the times you proposed.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw when he notices the way your voice gets increasingly sterner when you talk to him. It only reminds him of the way you used to chastise him when he was younger when he’d do something that was ‘immature’ but standard for a teenaged boy.

“I apologised!” He cries. “I’m sorry I was a dick before this but I’m really trying to fix things between us but you’re—”

“I’m what, Jungkook?” You interject with a frown. “I’m doing my best at healing?” You add softly. “An apology won’t erase what happened.”

Jungkook feels himself deflate, especially at the way your eyes dart away when he attempts to look into them.

“I know it won’t but I just want things to go back to normal.” He sighs.

You screw your eyes shut, finding the words to say before you look at him with such sad eyes that he nearly pulls you close just to comfort you so that he wouldn’t have to acknowledge the fact that it was his fault.

“It’s not that easy.” You whisper, gripping at the hem of your sleeves. “It may be for you but it’s not the same for me.”

Jungkook releases a sigh so loud that your eyes widen, as he attempts to think of something better to say—to offer.

“I really am sorry.” He lamely apologises, his voice sounding a lot like a scolded child.

“I know.” You nod. “But you don’t know how it feels to have …” You swallow. “Whatever. We’re good. I just need time, Jungkook.”

Jungkook furrows his brows when you turn away to stalk off, but he grabs at your elbow to turn your body to face him. Your eyes briefly make contact with the way he’s gently holding onto you before they tilt up to meet his confused gaze.

“How it feels to have what?” He pries.

You sigh, shaking off his grip. “Look. It doesn’t matter. I’m being sensitive.” You deprecate immediately.

Jungkook doesn’t miss the spite in your tone, especially when you say it so firmly and seriously when you dismiss him.

“I want to fix this—us.” He pleads desperately. “Why can’t you just be honest with me?”

As if his words set you off, your eyes snap up and blaze with the pent up fury and anger you’ve been suppressing the entire time.

“Me? Be honest with you?” You scoff. “Real fucking funny. Because when I was honest with you, you turned it on me and took advantage of my vulnerability.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen. “What—?”

“You want honest?” You fume. “Fine. I’ll give you honest but you better listen closely this time because I won’t be repeating myself again.” You poke into his chest, even if it’s fierce and stern, he feels the heartache pouring through. “You were my best friend, Jungkook. You were and are someone important to me and you fucked me over because you knew I couldn’t say no to you. You knew how I felt and you took advantage of that fact just so you could get what you wanted and go.”

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, confused at the information you were throwing at him.

“How you felt—?”

You cut him off again with a huff. “Don’t pretend like you didn’t know. Why else did you think I did all the shit you wanted?”

“I-I don’t understand.” Jungkook stutters, head caught in a loop when you glare at him harder.

“You knew every bit of insecurity that I had and you weaponised that against me just so you could keep me close.” You say softly. “You knew, either way, I would’ve stayed because I’ve always been there, Jungkook.”

“You’re confusing me.” He deadpans, grabbing onto your shoulders so you were forced to stare at him.

He notices the glistening of your eyes as he feels his heart constrict when he realises you’re trying your best to keep your tears at bay.

“Well, you did it first so it’s only fair.” You sniffle. “You can act like shits fine because you weren’t the one who was attached. I was. So just let me have this time to myself to figure things out because I can’t even be around you without being sad, Jungkook.” You whimper.

He calls for your name but you're already furiously rubbing at your eyes as you curse under your breath as you spin on your heels to hurry away.

Jungkook gapes at you as he attempts to process what you just said, but before he can get another word in—you're leaving him to feel the weight of your words in the footsteps that draw further and further away.

[astaroth1357]

IT'S RAINING (DEMON) MEN!!!

I asked my sister for a prompt to get my creativity going. She played this song. Nuff said.

Intro:

It's been two months since the MC went back to the human world, and the demon boys are getting desperate to see their human… How desperate are we talking? Desperate enough to try their hands at some questionable sanctioned magic to get themselves to the human world... Good news is, they'll get there!

Just probably not in the way they expected. 🤷‍♀️🤭

Lucifer

He is going to KILL Mammon the next time he gets a hold of him…

He had no intention of taking an impromptu trip to the human world. He actually has clearance to go there when he needs to, thank you, so he didn't need to use any underhanded tricks to go between realms...

But he had made the mistake of walking too carelessly into Mammon's room while looking for a book he stole and stepped on a sigil half-obscured by an old pizza box…

...which is how he ended up falling from the Devildom to the human world at an unimaginable speed. It was like someone was yanking him to the Earth by the goddamn foot!

The unsuspecting MC was just out window shopping when suddenly an empty parked car across the street was utterly decimated by his falling body…

Of course, HE was fine, but that poor car never stood a chance… 😣 They had to help Lucifer pry himself out from the caved-in metal…

While he watched the MC fuss and try to brush all the broken glass off of him, Lucifer had only three things in mind:

(1) They look so cute when they're worried about him for practically no reason...

(2) Since he's already here, he may as well keep them company for… oh, a couple days at least?; and

(3) He was going to punish Mammon slightly less brutally than usual this time… May just fling him into a car too and leave it at that. 😌

Mammon

Okay, Mammon isn't stupid. He can do magic, he swears!!

He's just… rusty. Yeah. That. 🙄

That's the only reason the sigil that he haphazardly drew in his bedroom flung him to the human world like a catapult instead of neatly teleporting him like it was supposed to...

When the MC woke up that morning, they heard something familiar… Sad, pitiful little cries for help from outside their bedroom window….

Really only one person sprang right to their mind.

When they ran out to check, they indeed found Mammon tangled up in a tree like a wooden spider's web... He wasn't even facing upright!

It took them a half hour to detangle their poor demon from the tree… They almost gave up halfway through and had to call the fire department to pull him out like a trapped kitten... 🤦‍♀️

To say that Mammon was pretty clingy after they got him down hardly covers it. They were now his savior! (Yet again)

They had better not have any plans for the next day or two because he's going to want to spend every second he can with them… 

Or at least until Lucifer finds him and drags him back home by the back of the neck… 😰 (Hope they don't mind housing this figurative fugitive for a while…)

Leviathan

So in his defense, he didn't actually think the "Return to Lover" spell he saw on TSL would work, but he got so desperate to see MC again that he half-jokingly tried it one night...

Unfortunately for him, he also forgot that Simeon tends to use a lot of real-world influences in his writing, so… 😥

He hadn't wanted to be dragged to the human world quite so violently, and let's say he is NOT a graceful faller (arm flailing, girly screaming, spinning all over the place, etc.). 

Only when the smell of beach sand and sea salt hit his nose did he begin to calm down a little and get a good look at the surroundings he was hurtling towards… The ocean!

Video game logic dictates that if you land in water, you should be fine, right?? (Well, that's not how it works in real life, but when you're in a super sturdy demon body, there can be expectations 🤷‍♀️)

The MC was not expecting someone to splash down into the water next to them like they fell out of Heaven, nor for them to enter the water with the poise of an Olympic high diver…

They REALLY weren't expecting to see Levi surface beside them, demon form in the all it's sea serpent-y glory, totally stoked that the stupid thought he had actually brought him to them!

… Of course, he also has no idea how to get back, but who actually cares about that?? Lucifer will figure out he's not in his room eventually. For now, there wasn't anything in the ocean or beyond that could separate the MC from their adorkable otaku… 🤭

Satan

Okay. Teleportation magic is hard. Very, very hard. It basically requires bypassing several different physical laws by breaking down one's essence into a transmigrational-uh...

Whatever, the point is it's difficult, and mistakes happen even to the best of us.

Satan genuinely thought he triple-checked the symbols on his sigil… He must have made a crooked stroke or forgot a step in completing the seal properly… Either way, the spell he intended to bring him right to MC might have made a… slight miscalculation.

Rather than effortlessly stepping out beside them, he found himself hurtling towards the human world like a falling comet… If he hadn't known a few spells that could slow down his fall, he'd have had a pretty nasty meet with the ground... 😣

The MC was visiting a local park when pretty much everyone in their vicinity heard the sound of trees rapidly snapping nearby. At first, they were concerned it was a large animal… and then Satan stumbled out covered in twigs and leaves!

They, of course, ran over to see if he was alright, and the cheeky bastard just denied that anything had gone wrong. "Apparently," this was all according to plan… 

(Truthfully, he'd rather call Mammon some unsung genius than admit that he got the spell wrong, even if it was complex… 🙄)

Truthfully, Satan wasn't going to try making a return sigil for a while, so at least he and MC could be together for a time! Do they know if there were any cat cafes nearby??

Asmodeus

Asmo was PISSED at Solomon, furious even because he wouldn't help him sneak away to go see his beloved human! Didn't he know how hard the distance was on him?? The nerve!!! 😤

So, to him, it only seemed fair to steal some of the sorcerer's tomes and equipment… If he wouldn't help him in person, he could at least (unknowingly) do so in spirit!

… He just wasn't expecting the spells to be that difficult. Asmo is decent enough at magic, but some of those explanations were honestly beyond him… They bordered well into Satan or even Lucifer territory...

He tried his best, he really did, but the gentle teleportation that he was after actually flung him to the human world like he had been shot out of a cannon…! And while it was raining in the human world too!! 😫

The MC was walking home in the rain, umbrella and everything, when they heard screaming from the sky...

Thankfully, Asmo remembered just enough magic to cushion his fall… But that didn't save him from landing right into a massive puddle right next to the MC, effectively soaking them both.

On any other day, he'd have been angry that his expensive clothes were covered in rainwater, but that day? The second he saw the MC was there (and also tastefully soaked in water 😏), he just flung himself at them with a squeal of delight!

The MC had to convince him to let them get inside before they got too cold, but every step of the way was full of laughter and cuddles between the two of them...

Asmo would have to call Solomon to fess up to his theft, but hey, he got to see MC out of it! The bruised tailbone and ruined clothes were more than worth a treat like that.

Beelzebub

Beel genuinely wasn't intending to go to the human world; he really wasn't. He hated the distance like everyone else, but he knew better than to mess with magic that dangerous…

What happened was that he was walking by Satan's room one day and he smelt something inside… apples. A lot of them. He just couldn't help himself…

He didn't know that Satan was using those apples as test subjects for his teleportation magic… Unfortunately, the first fruit that he grabbed actually put him right smack dab in the middle of an incomplete sigil…

Beel kind of blacked out for whatever happened during the next part, it happened really fast, but it was the smell of more apples that woke him back up… and pears, peaches, pineapples, plums-

It's a farmer's market. Beel fell into the apple stand of a farmer's market….

The MC was out shopping there when they heard two things: the screams of shock and horror from the end of the market and a familiar voice shouting, "I'M HUNGRY!!!"

Of course they ran towards the screaming, defying all survival instincts (because who else are we talking about here?) and found Beel, mid-rampage, eating every scrap of food he could get his hands on…

But he actually stopped when he heard them shout his name. That's right, he stopped eating right then and there to turn and see them in the crowd... Oh, the smile that popped up on his face could have reignited a sun!

Beel had no idea how he got there and even less idea of getting back, so the MC had to eventually call Lucifer. They did get to spend the day with their gentle giant, though! (Just don't mention the massive bill for all the fruit he ate… 😣)

Belphegor

So here's the story. Belphie was sleeping in the library, as he sometimes does, and the next thing he knew, he was free-falling through the sky.

No, he didn't know what happened either. Maybe he rolled onto a stray sigil Satan left behind. Perhaps he was accidentally summoned to the human world. Mayhaps he even dreamed about MC so hard that it broke a rift in space-time to try and bring the two together... 

Who the hell knows? His more pressing concern was less how he got up there and more where he would end up.

Unfortunately for him, all he could see below him was a human residential area, and even worse yet, it looked like he was hurtling towards someone's roof… The MC's roof, to be exact!

MC was incredibly lucky to have already been up and starting their morning routine when the seventh-born came crashing onto their bed. Who knows how much damage he could have done if he had landed on them...??

That didn't change their shock to see Belphie, covered in plaster and wood fragments, sitting himself up while looking more annoyed to have been woken up than that he… you know... crashed through their roof...

He was grateful to have popped up close to them because it would have been pretty awkward to land in some random human's room. The MC was… less enthused that they now had some significant repairs to do.

Smooth-talker he is, Belphie not only managed to convince them that Lucifer would take care of the payment (which he would) but also not to call him just yet. Not until he could get himself cleaned off and maybe have a nap or two… Say, they weren't going anywhere today, right? Good. 😏

Check out my Masterlist for more wacky ideas.

[stardustprompts]

the poppy war - r.f kuang   sentence starters change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw :   drugs , death , murder , nsfw , prostitution mention , language

‘take off your clothes.’

‘why would anyone drug themselves before a test?’

‘you’re about to be a very lucky girl, sweet.’

‘wow that’s great. really great. Terrific.’

‘your folks are assholes.’

‘well fuck the heavenly order of things.’

‘don’t you have actual responsibilities?’

‘I don’t want to get on _____ ‘s bad side.’

‘you would make a terrible prostitute. no charm.’

‘what is so wrong with getting married?’

‘do you want to die?’

‘everything is spilling out of my head as quickly as I put it in.’

‘please do not commit spousal homicide.’

‘give me a way out of this shithole.’

‘hello, I’m praying.’

‘I seduced him with my nubile young body. you caught me.’

‘you can’t scare me into a confession, because I’m telling the truth.’

‘and that means you’re shit at your job.’

‘if you cross them—- if they even think you’ve looked at them funny—- they can and will hurt you.’

‘it’s easy to lose a language when you never speak it.’

‘you’re offending them with your very presence.’

‘they’ll make you an outsider, because you’re not like them.’

‘no matter what they say, you deserve to be here.’

‘I’ll kill you. I will fucking kill you.’

‘I went out in the sun once. you should try it sometime.’

‘oh, you’re the one ____ hates.’

‘you’d be a prick too if your family was both rich and attractive.’

‘honestly? I think he just comes in here to get high.’

‘I think you’re flattering yourself.’

‘unless you’ve got a weapon, don’t aim for the face. the neck’s a better target.’

‘we aren’t here to be sophisticated. we’re here to fuck people up.’

‘this is the only kick you’ll ever need, really. a kick to bring down the most powerful warriors.’

‘power dictates acceptability.’

‘he hasn’t done anything to earn my respect. all he’s done is act high and mighty.’

‘you’re nothing. you shouldn’t even be here.’

‘consider me bullied and intimidated, just let me sleep.’

‘he’s playing with her. he’ll end it soon.’

‘they’re good at fighting, but not much else.’

‘spend a lot of time looking at ____’s eyes do you?’

‘a betrayal of that sort would not have been out of character.’

‘come on, you belong here too.’

‘they’re not going to get rid of me like this. not this easily.’

‘I’m calm! I’m extremely calm!’

‘you’d rather kill your own people than let the opponent’s army walk away?’

‘you don’t let an enemy walk away if they’ll certainly be a threat to you later.’

‘he can’t stop raving about you.’

‘oh, don’t pretend to be bashful. you love it.’

‘you’re a walking disaster.’

‘anyone this obstinate deserves some attention, if only to make sure you don’t become a walking hazard to everyone around you.’

‘I heard he got drunk on rice wine last week and pissed into ____’s window. he sounds awesome.’

‘it’s me, your favorite person in the whole wide world.’

‘I do not have a problem. you are making up this problem for reasons unbeknownst to me.’

‘you’re killing the mood.’

‘they were weak as shit. scrawnier than you, even.’

‘you’re a real asshole. you know that right?’

‘your state of mind is just as important as the state of your body.’

‘sometimes you must loose the string to let the arrow fly.’

‘because I want to break his stupid face.’

‘he’s the most dangerous when he’s desperate.’

‘from this point on you’re just going to be a danger to yourself and everyone around you.’

‘you’re too reckless. you hold grudges, you cultivate your rage and let it explode, and you’re careless about what you’re taught.’

‘I knew I was the only one that could help him.’

‘they honed his rage like a weapon, instead of teaching him to control it.’

‘one urinating statue for my easily entertained friend.’

‘I don’t believe in gods. but I believe in power.’

‘one might say you’ve been obsessed with ____.’

‘don’t look to your left. pretend you’re taking to me.’ / ‘I am talking to you.’

‘we’re studying very weird things.’

‘I don’t actually know what I’m getting into.’

‘here is what happened: you called a god, and the god answered.’

‘you know that if you don’t get answers now, the hunger will consume you and your mind will crack.’

‘you’ve glimpsed the other side and you can’t rest until you fill in the blanks.’

‘supernatural is a word for anything that doesn’t fit your present understanding of the world.’

‘I’m supposed to take it as true that you’re a god?’

‘I’m not a god. I am a mortal who has woken up, and there is power in awareness.’

‘are we getting high? oh, wow. we’re getting high.’

‘ah. the law. so inconvenient. so irrelevant.’

‘we are not madmen. but how can we convince anyone of this, when the rest of the world believes it so?’

‘the price of power is pain.’

‘I understand the truth of things. I know what it means to exist.’

‘prey do not question the motives of the predator. the dead do not question the living. mortals do not challenge the gods.’

‘I killed for you. I would have done anything for you.’

‘I have seen the end of things. the shape of the world has changed.’

‘war doesn’t determine who’s right. war determines who remains.’

‘it’s alright. I know what you are.’

‘I thought I was the only one left.’

‘we have developed the power to rewrite the fabric of this world. if we don’t use it, then what’s the point?’

‘I don’t mess with that shit. it screws you up.’

‘I understand the appeal, I really do, but I like having my mind to myself.’

‘he’s a charmer. like a new puppy. you think he’s adorable until he pisses on the furniture.’

‘there’s no routine. no discipline. nothing you’re used to. am I right?’

‘so you’re the last of your kind. that’s sad.’

‘If you hold the fate of the country in your hands, if you have accepted your obligation to your people, then your life ceases to be your own.’

‘____ feared, and so he held you back.’

‘great danger is always associated with great power. the difference between the great and the mediocre is that the great are willing to take that risk.’

‘don’t ever let go on that anger. rage gives you power. caution does not.’

‘don’t give in... you’ve been so brave... but it takes more bravery to resist the power.’

‘the nature of this god is to destroy. the nature of this god is to be greedy, to never be satisfied with what he has consumed.’

‘so. screaming at rocks. is that, like, normal behavior here?’

‘fix this. prove your worth. do your fucking job or get out.’

‘I saved your life. doesn’t that make us at least a little square?!’

‘I was scared of you. and I lashed out.’

‘I thought I was better than you, and I’m not. I’m sorry.’

‘when I killed it, it felt like murder.’

‘look, I’m happy to discuss this, really, but I’m currently leaking life out three different wounds and I think I may pass out. would you give me a moment?’

‘well maybe ____ should get his head out of his ass.’

‘ ____ is more fragile than you think.’

‘look, asshole, I don’t need you to tell me what to do.’

‘they say he can read the future. shatter minds.’

‘you misunderstand the nature of our relationship. I am not your friend.’

‘he’s not human. he—- I don’t know what he is.’

‘but ___ was never allowed to be human.’

‘do you trust me?’ / ‘no. but that’s irrelevant.’

‘you don’t know what true suffering is.’

‘I have seen more than my fair share of suffering.’

‘that boy is beyond redemption. that boy is broken like the rest.’

‘I don’t want to be saved! I want power!’

‘that power will destroy everything you’ve ever loved. you will defeat your enemy, and the victory will turn to ashes in your mouth.’

‘we’ve missed something. something’s been laid out for us, but we can’t see it.’

‘fretting won’t make the dead come back to life.’

‘there was nothing human in those eyes.’

‘It was a nightmare, and I couldn’t wake up.’

‘I don’t need your pity. I need you to kill them for me.’

‘whatever it takes. swear it on your life. swear it for me.’

‘I won’t judge him. I don’t dare, because I don’t have the right. and neither do you.’

‘you asked me why I wouldn’t stop him. now you understand. you can’t stop an avenger. you can’t reason with a madman.’

‘I am afraid of what he might do in his quest for vengeance. and I am afraid that he is right.’

‘I am about to do something terrible. and you will have a choice.’

‘they give nothing to the universe, and the universe owes them nothing in return.’

‘you cannot survive my death.’

‘you’re trying to deceive me. you don’t get to deceive me.’

‘this is not the way. this path leads only to darkness.’

‘when are you going to stop being such a damn coward? what are you running from?’

‘you will turn the world to ash, and only demons will live in the rubble.’

‘you dress up your crusade with moral arguments, when in truth you would let millions die if it means you get your so-called justice.’

‘you have not cared about anything for a very long time. you are broken.’

‘I am terrified. but only because I’m starting to remember who I once was. don’t go down that path.’

‘your country is ash. you can’t bring it back with blood.’

‘I’m so sorry. I tried to warn you.’

‘you know the worst part? we’re so close to home.’

‘did you miss me? did you miss this?’

‘I just gave him some of his favorite medicine.’

‘resistance here means suffering. there is no escape. no future.’

‘you have nothing to fight for anymore’

‘what are you defending? you owe ____ nothing.’

‘we were disposable. we were tools. tell me that doesn’t make you furious.’

‘I am sick with fury.’

‘I will die on my feet. I will not die a coward. and neither will you.’

‘we could stay here. we could stay here forever. we wouldn’t have to go back.’

‘you’ll have to live with the consequences. but you’re brave ... you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.’

‘I have lost everything I care about. I don’t want peace, I want revenge.’

‘I don’t need to sleep. I need to feel nothing.’

‘do you want forgiveness? I can’t give you that.’

‘we avenged him. he’s gone, but avenged.’

‘you have to believe that it was necessary. that it stopped something worse. and even if it wasn’t, it’s the lie we’ll tell ourselves, starting today and every day afterward.’

‘aren’t you supposed to be a seer? do you ever see anything useful?’

‘we have an enemy whom we love.’

‘I’m going to find and kill everyone responsible. you cannot stop me.’

‘oh I’m not going to stop you.’