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bigmouthlass · 3 months ago

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Title: Dangerous Librarians

Author: BJ

Fandom: Welcome to Night Vale, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Rating: Gen

Pairing: Carlos/Cecil Palmer

Synopsis: Not all the dangerous librarians are eldrich abominations with tentacles and acid blood.

Tags: Cecil Palmer, Carlos the Scientist, Tamika Flynn, WTNV Intern, Surprise Character, Episode Fic

AN: All recognizable intellectual properties are owned by their respective creators and holders of any copyrights or trademarks. This is a not-for-profit work of fan art and protected by Fair Use.

---

Picture a radio station. Simple one-story cinderblock building, the letters NVCR on the sign out front. There's a reception area, a breakroom, some offices, a communal area where the rank-and-file have their cubicles. There're restrooms, a maintenance closet, discreet hiding places for Sheriff's Secret Police personnel, a nondenominational bloodstone circle, and a dark crypt where the management hold their unholy rites. There's a station pet, a station spider, a small colony of station ants, and an exceptionally lazy station poltergeist. There might also be a faceless old woman, but as a radio station is a workplace and not a home the conventions are a little vague on whether or not she really lives there or just visits.

And of course there's the broadcast center. Picture a small room, walls padded with sound-dampening foam. Underneath the window between the producer's booth and the broadcast booth sits a table which holds the sound board. The rest of the booth's dimensions and features suit whatever function they're needed for at the time -- flexibility is important in public broadcasting. And because this is a working area there's a bit of clutter. Torn off sheets from the teletype machine, neatly printed news memos, a blank legal pad with a pencil for automatic writing (the radio station has a special exemption from the ban on writing instruments).

And finally, picture a man. He's not really tall, not really short. He's not thin, but he's not fat either. Not ugly, but not especially pretty. The most remarkable thing about him is his fuzzy scarf; it purrs when you pet it. At the moment he's fussing with his cell phone and sipping coffee. When the time is right he locks his phone, slips a pair of headphones over his ears, pulls a microphone close. In the producer's booth an intern counts down on fingers, until--

"There are horrors and monsters that stalk us all, under the cover of night. Yet there are good things hiding in the dark as well, mysterious, beautiful and precious.

"Welcome to Night Vale.

"It seems we have a new person in town today, listeners! Old Woman Josie was seen this morning talking to a man driving a car with rental stickers in the windows, as the angels watered her flowers and tended the herb garden. Another angel stood with Josie, long-fingered hand moving gracefully through the morning air as she talked with the strange man.

"Just a reminder, listeners, that angels are not real and can neither garden nor give directions. They tend to forget that Bankers Road turns into a one-way street as it passes through Old Town Night Vale.

"We will keep you up to date on this visitor's movements, listeners, but for now, let's take a look at the Community Calendar:

"Sunday has been designated a day of total darkness by the City Council. Time to catch up on your sleep!

"Monday night the Night Vale Symphony Orchestra will be holding a charity concert in Radon Canyon. The program features guest conductor and soloist Lee Marvin and includes selections from the operas 'I Want To Be Your Canary,' and 'The Tragedy of Maria and Draco,' as well as a moan-along of patriotic open vowel sounds. The event is all-ages and family friendly. Tickets are available now at the still-smoking ruin of the Night Vale Opera House, with proceeds going to benefit the Night Vale Antique Society.

"Tuesday is Perfect Your Hangover Day at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. Over 21 only, please.

"On Wednesday the Night Vale Office of Assessment and Taxation will send auditors to all private homes within the Night Vale city limits, both to reassess the property's value and to check for code violations. The full Night Vale Building Code is available at City Hall in The Hidden Room Nobody Knows About near The Secret Room Nobody Likes To Talk About. The Office of Assessment and Taxation reminds all Night Vale homeowners that code violations are grounds for relocation to the abandoned mine shaft.

"Thursday has gotten greedy, and is hogging the rest of the week.

"This has been . . . the Community Calendar.

"I've just been informed, listeners, that the latest interloper has parked his car in front of the Night Vale Public Library. He's gotten out of the car, a tall middle-aged man wearing a long gray coat. Oh my-- he's walking up the steps, armed with nothing but a canvas messenger bag. Listeners, is this man in crisis? Is he perhaps attempting to commit suicide via librarian? No sir, please! Whatever horrible crimes you may have committed in your life, no one deserves such an unspeakable fate.

"Oh thank goodness. The Sheriff Secret Police, of course, have not engaged our visitor in any way -- per city ordinance they are not permitted to interfere in the daily lives of citizenry. However, local child hero and bibliophile Tamika Flynn has intercepted the stranger and appears to be talking him away from the library's front door. Tamika's grown since she was last seen in town; she must be at least two inches taller.

"Well, all children must grow up eventually.

"And now, a word from our sponsors:

"It has been so long, and you have been so far away. Your mind has perfectly preserved this, the place where you remember being happy -- although you doubt that you really were. Instead of the shining faces and etherial forms of your dear friends, everywhere you see functionally similar bands of muscle over skeletons, as though these people were the same as the nonentities that populate your current life. You hopes for the future were built on a delusion, and the only sound you hear is the smash as your last dream shatters at your feet.

"Playstation -- Greatness Awaits.

"This is incredible! Intern Jerry has contacted the station, and it seems Tamika was not successful in persuading the interloper to abandon his quest for dangerous books and their forbidden knowledge. Instead, he went to his rental car, opened the trunk, and pulled out a broadsword, an old but clearly well-cared for crossbow, and several wooden stakes. That's-- that's ridiculous! Librarians are not vampires! Vampires have avoided Night Vale since the Founders gave the sun permission to rise off-schedule. An unpredictable day-night cycle is not good news for creatures that can't tolerate sunlight, after all.

"He instructed Tamika to wait outside and gave her a list of numbers to call should he not make it out alive; our brave Miss Flynn refused. She was not willing to let anyone, even an untrustworthy and clearly insane stranger, face the librarians alone. Her courage continues to inspire us all.

"Well . . . most of us all. Intern Jerry flatly refused to move from his spot on the sidewalk. A nice young man, but I don't know if he has the nerve for field work.

"We will keep you abreast of the situation as it continues to develop. But now, it's time for another edition of my popular life advice corner, Hey There Cecil.

"'Hey there Cecil. My husband and I have twin girls in the first grade. Until this year, we dressed them alike because it made laundry so much easier and cut down on fights. We just got a letter from Night Vale Public Schools that we need to start dressing them differently because of the recent rash of clone-based pranks. We feel this is unreasonable -- our household has been certified Stable And Loving by the City Council's Parenting Review Board. Do you think we should talk to the administration?' Signed, Annoyed in Arbordale.

"Hey there, Annoyed. While I agree that it's a little unfair to expect families to change their routines based on others' misbehavior, I wonder if this might be the perfect opportunity to start guiding your twins into building their own identities. After all, they're not babies anymore! Embrace the chance to bond with your girls as individual people and not two halves of a single child unit. Take them shopping for their own clothes, and buy machine washable so they can help out by doing some of their own laundry. As for the administration, pick your battles wisely. Your girls might be a little young to handle an Official Ostracision.

"'Hey there Cecil. I love it when you mention the station cat Khoshekh. I have a cat of my own that I love very much,' aw, she enclosed a picture. 'I've been dating a guy I met at work, and we're getting serious enough that I want to start inviting him over. But he's allergic to cats. Since you mentioned having this issue when Khoshekh stayed over with you and your boyfriend, I was hoping you would have some advice.' Signed, A Girl And Her Asthmatic.

"Hey there, Girl. First of all, you picture is adorable! I love the way you let your cat dig his hook fangs into your fingers, it really lets him show them off. It's true, Khoshekh is a stress-shedder and it seemed all our things were covered in loose fur in no time. Regular over-the-counter antihistamines seemed to work all right, as long as Carlos was careful not to rub his eyes. It might also help to have your place professionally cleaned every few months; pet hair and dander build up over time in the homes of even the most meticulous housekeepers. As to how to best acclimate your new boyfriend and your cat to each other, allow them to find their own rapport. It can take pets a while to warm up to new people. I'm sure I don't need to remind you, but for other cat loving listeners, make sure your antivenoms are up-to-date before you entertain. It's both good sense, and good manners.

"'Hey there Cecil. I was just wondering, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR REMAINS DISPLAYED YOU PUNY STRIP OF LONG PIG JERKY?!?!?' Signed, H. McDaniles, (Green Head)

"Ugh. Really? Really, Green Head?

"Listeners, I apologize. This is a personal matter and has no place on the public airwaves.

"I just received a text from Carlos . . . dearest Carlos . . . and he asked me to remind everybody with home cloning units to please restrict your production to muscle tissue and individual organs. Whole human clones are not sentient, they're impossible to train, and they're a public nuisance. And pranks involving them are just . . . tacky. That does it for this edition of Hey There, Cecil. Have a question? Whisper it into the vase of fake flowers on the kitchen table, and a Community Radio transcriptionist will pass it on to me.

"What? Oh, um, listeners? The City Council and Sheriff's Secret Police are advising all residents to take cover in their librarian shelters immediately. The City Council could not be reached for direct comment, and their out-of-office voicemail confirms, in a very rushed and breathless tone, that from now on their offices will close for lunch and never open again.

"Oh. Listeners, the light from the sun has gone dim. Thick columns of black smoke have started pouring from the chimneys of the Public Library. Witnesses report a strange, subaudible tremble buzzing up through their legs and into their bodies. They can hear voices, chanting words in a language unfit for human tongues. People have started to fall to the ground, but it is not in Glow Cloud inspired awestruck genuflection; it is the trembling of children seeing their greatest and most horrifying fears. Can it be, listeners? Could the librarians finally have tired of keeping their vigil over the dangerous dangerous books? Are we to see the ghastly thing that spawned them mainfest as a living presence, among us, here to feed on us, our families, our beloved little town? I do not know. I know that I am safe, here, in my booth but I don't know if you all are safe, if you heeded the instructions of the wise and benevolent City Council and got out of sight. Even the Glow Cloud has sunk to the earth and lays out as a gleaming carpet of mist over Memorial Square, emitting a faint squealing moan.

"Dear listeners, I know how routine can be a comfort when life overwhelms. So, holding my love for all of you close to your hearts, I give you . . . the weather."

The man's shaking hand turns a switch. Faintly, the day's weather report -- Electronaut, by VNV Nation -- plays. Many things happen elsewhere, things the man knows about because that's who he is and what he does. So when the weather ends and he turns the switch back, his hands are shaking for a different reason.

"Sound the all-clear! Everybody is back up on their feet-- except for the Glow Cloud of course -- all hail! -- it's floating at its preferred altitude. While the black clouds over the library have yet to fully disperse, the chimneys have gone back to their normal inky plumes. Absent a few bruises and ruptured eardrums, no casulaties have been reported.

"Just a few minutes ago, as the shaking stopped, our new visitor emerged from the library, holding the door for Tamika as she exited as well. They were both smudged with soot and ichor, his sword and her machete oozing with strange librarian blood. The visitor offered Tamika his arm and together they strolled down the front steps. Apparently their sortie was a success; Tamika carried the visitor's bulging messenger back with the strap across her chest. The sheer weight of all those pages and pages, and-- oh blackest night, the visitor is unloading those books into the back of his rental car, and they're all stamped with the bloody sigils of the Reference section! I shudder to think of what unholy monster these two must have defeated in order to check them out.

"At the visitor's urging, Tamika got into the car. They shared a tired smile and bumped fists through the car's open window. Then the visitor looked up, noting the crowd surrounding him for the first time. In an elegant British accent, he asked, 'Would one of you please be so good as to direct me to the nearest pub?' I hope I got that right; sarcasm is a thing I struggle with sometimes.

"Intern Jerry, being the helpful sort, told him how to get to Big Rico's. And that's probably where he is now! Not an interloper, not one of us, but something in between . . . I wonder if Carlos would mind if we had our mandated slice tonight instead of our usual night. Something tells me this new person has a story.

"Stay tuned next for ten hours of the faint scream air makes when it collapses into a sudden void. And goodnight, Night Vale.

"Good night." --- Welcome to Night Vale is the property of Commonplace Books, and the visitor is the property of Mutant Enemy. Playstation -- console and brand -- is owned by Sony. Today's weather is "Electronaut" by VNV Nation, off of the album Futureperfect. Did you enjoy this fanfic? Did you hate it beyond all measure? Did you read it in Cecil's voice? Feedback is always welcome via the Comments section, or e-mail me at [email protected]

Today's proverb -- wisdom is purchased with innocence. Make sure you get good value for yours.

---

#welcome to night vale #cecil palmer #carlos the scientist #tamika flynn #WTNV intern #surprise character #buffy the vampire slayer

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spoilertv · 1 year ago

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#SpoilerTV

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sooibian · 4 years ago

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Flambé (Preview)

poster and edits/collage credits to @is-that-baekhyuns-shirt !

🍜 pairing: kyungsoo x fem!reader

🍜 description: pull up a chair. take a taste. come join us. life is so endlessly delicious. - ruth reichl

🍜 themes: fluff, crack (ish), slight angst, a lil bit of spice (in the future), rivals to lovers au

🍜 word count: ~ 2.8k

🍜 a/n: a little preview of a chef kyungsoo story that i've been working on. while i have the plot fleshed out it'll honestly be a while before the long one/two-shot comes out since a lot of research goes into the details. and....i write at a snail's pace. thank you for your patience and lmk if you'd like a tag in the updates!

this story is inspired by a lot of random yt videos and netflix's shows - street food and chef's table.

tagging *deep breath* @j-pping and @changshapatrol (the real rotten banana is here!)

___________________________________________

Water bobbed in frenetic bubbles in a massive ancient stone pot that was perched atop a fort of raging wood. Amidst brutal peals of thunder, a gushing stream rose from a nearby hill, obscuring the shrill cries of the sacrificial crab.

Chanting a spell, you lifted the enormous crustacean by its pincers and lowered it into the growling, pitch black utensil. Blubbering helplessly, it lodged its claws at the rim of the pot in desperation - seeking escape. The sound of your maniacal laughter reverberated through the cave as you thrust it back into the violent undulation with the flick of a bladed-spatula.

All of a sudden, a wave of unconsciousness swept over you. You felt your skin singe as boiling water started to fill up your lungs.

You were alone - at the bottom of the very same utensil.

“Help!” frantic, you staggered up, gasping for air. But the bladed-spatula wielding crab, who was now free and hovering over you, roared at your defenseless form.

Maybe your spell didn't land, you thought.

“Please, Chef!” you whimpered.

In one swift motion, it swooshed down to your eye level.

Bushy black brows sprouted on its forehead, just a little over a pair of big brown circles for eyes. Then came the nose, followed by a bloody red mouth that snarled at you.

zzzz...

“Late again?” It drawled in a jarring tenor.

zzzz...

zzzz…

4:00 a.m., your phone blinked.

In a sleep befuddled state, your hand reached out for the wailing device. ‘Late again’, Chef’s cold, deep voice sounded in your consciousness as you wiped the droplets of sweat off your forehead.

Chef.

Doh Kyungsoo had insisted on the title and you'd defiantly refused to call him that. What business does a man working at a Kalguksu stand in Gwangjang Market have, being called a chef. You'd seeked redressal with the higher ups. The owner. Your aunt.

"Aegiya, he has something that you don't."

"A dick?"

"YAH! He has a degree in culinary arts. It's only befitting that we give him the respect his degree deserves!"

"Imo, haven't you watched Parasite? Anyone can forge documents these days and if so then why is he here? He could very well get a job at Four Seasons like Hyun Jin. Think, Imo. Think!”

“Exactly! With forged documents, he could be anywhere. But he’s here, no?”

“Maybe you’re just easier to manipulate.”

"Chef. You're calling him Chef."

Every time the egotistical madman opened that darned mouth of his, it made you want to knock him down with a roundhouse and beat the living daylights out of him.

But, with a deep breath, you always resisted the temptation.

Because one day, one glorious day, you’d take over your aunt’s business and the very first item on your agenda would be….well, the obvious. With a glimmer of hope, you floundered out of your comforter, muttering every cuss word you’d learnt...and crafted in the course of working with the devil himself.

“Ahh 3000 is a bit too much for cucumbers", he said to the middle aged vendor, flashing a boyish grin.

The face of sourcing had drastically changed in the last six months since Kyungsoo’s arrival. Prior to his dictatorship, your aunt had a tie up with some of the local vendors who’d hand deliver the produce every single day, without fail. Guess Kyungsoo didn’t fully comprehend the benefits of customer loyalty. ‘There could be better quality ingredients out there, Sajangnim...economically priced, I might add’, he’d convinced your aunt using his military corporal voice. No matter if it meant awkward break-ups with the vegetables ahjumma or the prawns ahjussi. You had to do the dirty work.

And tag along for the routine 5 a.m sourcing runs. Every morning, he greeted you with an accusatory ‘you’ve killed my cat’ expression.

You groaned, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. If only he’d quit flirting with every woman in the market and hurry up! The purchases had long exceeded the capacity of your humble cart. Flailing your numb arms awake, you urged him to speed up with a nudge of the knee but he glared at you like you’d asked him for a kidney.

Kyungsoo had a tendency to overbuy but never would he help with a single bag. ‘I don’t like to sweat’ was his excuse. Which was pretty ridiculous considering he spent over ten hours a day overseeing a scorching frying pan. But you knew better than to argue. Because as much as you loathed every fibre of his existence, he terrified you a little. The man possessed the duality of a psychopath. As fierce as he was in the Market, ruthlessly competitive even, he was quite the sweet talker. And you could bet your life on the fact that every woman - whether or not a rival - would take a bullet for him.

“Ahdeul-ah��, the woman cooed at him, making your insides violently contort, “you know how tight the market is these days. But I’ll throw in some more only for you.”

The additional weight of three kilos on your right arm ended your sourcing run for the day.

***

“Chef”, huffing, you said to him on your way out, “I had a late night last night.��

“And I need to be privy to this little nugget of unwarranted information because?” He paced ahead of you at his usual lightning speed.

“No, I meant, could we stop”, panting you continued, “could we stop for a quick cup of coffee.”

Halting abruptly, he turned around to look you in the eyes, “No.”

“Asshole!”

“I heard that.”

Monday at Choi Yoonsun’s was busier than usual.

It went by in a daze amidst a cacophony of a sizzling girdle, clanging of pots and pans and your aunt’s relentless vocalization inviting customers to the stall. Having served thousands of bowls of Kalguksu and Kimchi Mandu, you heavily relied on muscle memory to get you through a workday’s demands.

Despite its chaos and commotion, you quite enjoyed working in the Market.

Not being particularly skilled at much and having nearly flunked out of high school, cooking was the one thing that defined you. It was your safe harbour. You’d lost your father in an accident at the tender age of ten and your mother was forced to work long hours to put food on the table. So you honed your culinary skills, little by little, because you thought it vital for your own well being as well as your mother’s.

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.

At the end of yet another gratifying day, you left a wet towel soaking in vinegar for Kyungsoo to clean the iron girdle and proceeded to tend to the dirty dishes.

“Yahh!” Imo called out for Kyungsoo and you, thumping her hand on the table, gesturing for you to join her.

“Ahh! Imo, there’s a huge pile of dirty dishes!” You cried, only to turn around to find that ass-kisser already at the table, schmoozing with your aunt. Hastily taking off your grubby apron, you washed your hands and wiped them clean with a rag cloth. Straightening your black shirt and flattening unruly flyaways, you rushed toward the table but she was already up and ready to leave, “We’ll have dinner together tonight. I want to have a chat with the both of you.”

“But -”

“Sajangnim”, Kyungsoo interrupted, wagging a finger in your direction, “this one’s had a late night last night -”

“Chef! So I guess I’ll be seeing you tonight. As if seeing you every day of every week wasn’t enough already!”

An overtly saccharine smile spread across your face and his jaw tightened in response.

“Aish….you two...I’m leaving now”, she sighed, shaking her head, “see you both in two hours.”

Kimchi jjigae, pajeon, tteokbokki, jajangmyeon, some leftover bibimbap with sides galore from Hong Lim Banchan Stall. She clearly had something important to talk about.

But the vibe at the dinner table just didn’t sit right with you.

The reason could be the bespectacled black hole of negativity that was seated besides you in all black clothing but there was something off about Imo.

She was being a little too...nice.

Fear gradually started to settle in your bones. Was she finally closing down? Was this delectable fare an attempt at softening the blow? After all, she’d settled her husband’s debts and her sons were doing well for themselves. Quite well, in fact. One of them was a banker and the other even went to culinary school and was working as a chef at Four Seasons’ Chinese restaurant. It only made sense for her to trade the Market’s gruelling ways for some much deserved peace and quiet.

“We’re closing down the stall”, she said coolly.

It was like a punch in the gut.

“Imo -”

“Aga”, she said resting her chin on her hand, “the Market’s given me everything. It’s given me a sense of pride...a sense of independence. It put my family back together. I used to think that I’m nothing without my husband and my sons...but the Market gave me an identity.”

A million scenarios cascading through your head drowned out your aunt’s voice. Would you now have to go back to Bucheon? Or invest in a stall of your own at the traditional Gwangjang that’d never accept your big and bold ways with cooking? And to start from scratch? With a new recipe? Kalguksu with a twist, perhaps? But you had no insight into your aunt’s special broth. She’d barely even let you whip up the hand-cut noodles.

You realized that you weren’t the only one caught in the eye of the storm. Kyungsoo’s eyes were scarily fixated on the bowl of jajangmyeon before him. His seemingly miserable state gave you a fleeting sense of relief and it was right in that moment that he chose to say something unpalatable.

“Sajangnim, you’ve worked too hard. It’s time for you to reap the fruits of your labour. We’ll be fine you don’t have to worry about us.”

Of course he’ll be fine.

All the stall-owners in the Market have been vying for him ever since the day he set foot into Choi Yoonsun’s. Whereas, you had nowhere to go. The world conveniently assumes your aunt hired you only because you were her poor sister’s daughter who she sought to help financially. Not because you had what it took to be there and survive.

"Did I say I was ready to retire?” She laughed, eyeing Kyungsoo quizzically, leaving you dumbfounded.

“Here’s the thing..I met up with a friend last month. She was looking for a buyer for her little family run marinated crabs restaurant in Gangnam. So I took out a loan, made her an offer”, balling her hands into fists she sighed, “put in the deposit...and the place is pretty much mine now!”

“IMO!”, you yelled, “why did you scare me like that! I thought I was laid off!”

“Well, it’s a big move, I’m not sure the two of you are ready to make...requires a tonne of work and I may not be able to pay half of what you earned at the Market for at least two months until we open! It’ll take us two years or so to break even and only then will I be able to afford you a pay raise. I could help you get a job at the banchan stall since you love seasoned spinach so much and Kyungsoo stands a chance at even managing one of the Pakgane stalls!”

Pakgane was the mung bean pancake stall that had gotten so popular that the owner had managed to branch out of Gwangjang. So even your beloved aunt believed that you’d make for a better “help” and Kyungsoo, a Manager.

Ugh!

“I’m coming with you”, you said firmly, “I’ve saved up a little and Mom will gladly pitch in, if need be...”

At this point, you’d expected Kyungsoo to be ready with his luggage considering the little sycophant he was but his expression was stoic, eyes still glued to the jajangmyeon bowl. It filled you with insane hope.

He was going to jump the ship...finally!

“Chef...”, you couldn’t resist, “you don’t have to worry about us...I’m more than enough for Imo. You may...”

He shot you an angry glare making you chew on your unsaid words. But you wanted to rile him just a little more. So you excused yourself to bring a bottle of ketchup and squeezed it generously atop the stack of pajeon while eyeing him maliciously.

Ketchup.

The tangy, unassuming condiment was the sole reason Kyungsoo despised you. As this dinner marked the end of his torturous regime, you celebrated with ketchup - lots of it - right in front of his nasty eyes.

Steam swirled in different directions and at every twenty metres a contrastive redolence tickled your olfactory senses. Experiencing Gwangjang as a customer was a far richer experience compared to the donkeywork involved in a life as a vendor.

A proper send-off was essential lest Kyungsoo decided to stay, even if it burned a hole in your pocket. You planned on giving him a final tour of the Market where he (and you) could say his goodbyes while receiving a premium fuel of vitamins, minerals and carbs.

A whole lot of carbs.

“Let’s start with Pakgane”, said Kyungsoo, with a skewered sausage in his hand.

You shook your head in response. You wanted to start with the best and mung bean pancakes weren’t it. This was going to be a farewell he’d never forget.

With every step you took, the aroma of scallops drizzled with butter and cheese grew stronger. You started your tour by ordering two portions of the delectable street food which set you back considerably. But you were too elated to care. You refused Kyungsoo’s offer to pay as the woman set the scallops on fire with a blow torch.

“Do you know what that technique’s called?” Kyungsoo gave a little nod in the direction of the aflame food.

Another teachable moment.

You’d made a firm resolve to not let any of his condescension bog you down so with a sweet smile, you replied, “No, Chef. I do not.”

“Flambé. But minus the alcohol. Do you know how they manage that?”

The ahjumma came to your rescue and you jumped to collect the order. You could’ve sworn that you caught the corner of his mouth twitch slightly.

***

The Market supposedly looked the same as it did fifty years ago and you quite enjoyed eating your way through it. The tour made your heart grapple with nostalgia even though your partner’s personality was akin to a mug of insipid coffee.

Although you’d spent only a little over a year with Choi Yoonsun, the goodbyes were long and hard. Some of the vendors squeezed you and Kyungsoo in heart wrenching hugs, the others gave you a little cash to help you through the transition and for some of the food, you paid in smiles and love.

After a gastronomic fiesta that entailed tteokbokki, pajeon (minus the ketchup - you did it Kyungsoo’s way), sashimi, kimbap, different types of banchan, a thousand more teachable moments, the both of you ended the day on a sweet note with hotteok.

The ahjussi wished you both luck, making you choke back tears.

Kyungsoo noticed.

“Are you…. Is the hotteok spicy? No, I mean it’s obviously not...erm”

The dam of your tears burst.

You were going to miss this place. Even the less appealing aspects of it. You were going to miss the kimbap unnie who greeted you with a hug everyday, also the snooty mandu ahjumma who could hardly stand the sight of you. You were even going to miss washing dishes in the winters with water that was supposed to be ice and the sweltering summers which had you sweating through every layer of clothing.

Hell, you were even going to miss Kyungsoo.

“No”, you sniffled, “No, no Chef, it’s nothing. Take care of yourself. As much as I’m glad that our fateful working relationship has met its rightful end, I truly, genuinely, wish you luck. And learn to smile more often, yeah?”

“Are you dying?” He gleamed.

“What? NO! What? You’re leaving. What is wrong with you?”

“Who says I’m leaving?”

“You! You’re not coming with us to Gangnam!”

“Says who?”

“Your stupid face that looked like it was hit by a freight train when Imo broke the news last week!”

“I’m not leaving?” He mused.

“This is no time to joke, Chef. You are leaving!”

“Says who!”

“Your stu-”

“Stupid face? I wasn’t planning on leaving at all. I’ve even found myself a place close to the restaurant. Oh yeah, sorry for having misled you. It was really just - my stupid face.”

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newstfionline · 4 years ago

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Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Biden’s Infrastructure Push Spurs a Flurry of Lobbying in Congress (NYT) Members of Congress have begun a frenzy of lobbying to ensure that their pet projects and policy priorities are included in President Biden’s $2 trillion infrastructure and jobs plan, eager to shape what could be one of the most substantial public works investments in a generation. Officials across the country are dusting off lists of construction projects and social programs, hoping to secure their piece of a plan aimed at addressing what the administration estimates is at least $1 trillion worth of backlogged infrastructure improvements, as well as economic and racial inequities that have existed for decades. “My phone is blowing up,” Pete Buttigieg, the transportation secretary, said in an interview. Nearly every lawmaker “can point to a road or a bridge or an airport” in his or her district that is in dire need of repair.

Truck seized over ‘munitions of war,’ 5 forgotten bullets (AP) Gerardo Serrano ticked off the border crossing agents by taking some photos on his phone. So they took his pickup truck and held onto it for more than two years. Only after Serrano filed a federal lawsuit did he get back his Ford F-250. Now he wants the Supreme Court to step in and require a prompt court hearing as a matter of constitutional fairness whenever federal officials take someone’s property under civil forfeiture law. The justices could consider his case when they meet privately on Friday. It’s a corner of the larger forfeiture issue, when federal, state or local officials take someone’s property, without ever having to prove that it has been used for illicit purposes. Since 2000, governments have acquired at least $68.8 billion in forfeited property, according to the Institute for Justice, a libertarian public interest law firm that represents Serrano and tracks seizures. The group says the number “drastically underestimates forfeiture’s true scope” because not all states provide data. Serrano’s troubles stemmed from some pictures he took along the way of a long trip from his home in Tyner, Kentucky, to visit relatives, including a dying aunt, in Zaragosa, Mexico. The photo-taking attracted the attention of U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents in Eagle Pass, Texas. When Serrano refused to hand over the password to his phone, the agents went through the 2014 silver pickup truck in great detail. They justified its seizure by saying they found “munitions of war” inside—five forgotten bullets, though no gun. Told to park the truck, he said, he complained a bit before one agent reached into the pickup, opened the door, unfastened Serrano’s seat belt and yanked him out of the vehicle. “I got rights, I got constitutional rights and he snaps back at me, ‘You don’t have no rights here. I’m sick and tired of hearing about your rights.’ That took me aback,” Serrano said.

Should the U.S. boycott the 2022 Winter Olympics in China? (Washington Post) As if there aren’t enough sources of Sino-U.S. friction already, an emerging new irritant may soon outpace the rest: the growing calls for a boycott of Beijing’s 2022 Winter Olympics. The games are still 10 months away. But it’s not too early for the event to turn into a flash point. Critics of China’s ruling Communist Party—including a coalition of more than 180 human rights organizations—argue that the regime’s record of human rights abuses and geopolitical malfeasance ought to deprive it of the right to burnish its image with a spectacle like the Olympics. “Beijing won the right to host the 2022 Olympics in 2015, the same year it cracked down on lawyers and activists across China,” Chinese human rights lawyer Teng Biao wrote earlier this year. “Since then, it has detained journalists; harassed and attacked activists and dissidents even outside China’s borders; shut down nongovernmental organizations; demolished Christian churches, Tibetan temples and Muslim mosques; persecuted, sometimes to death, believers in Falun Gong; and sharply increased its control of media, the Internet, universities and publishers.” An Olympic boycott has become a popular cause among Republicans. Major sporting events—and especially international spectacles like the Olympics—always bear a political dimension.

‘Huge’ explosion rocks St. Vincent as volcano keeps erupting (AP) La Soufriere volcano fired an enormous amount of ash and hot gas early Monday in the biggest explosive eruption yet since volcanic activity began on the eastern Caribbean island of St. Vincent late last week, with officials worried about the lives of those who have refused to evacuate. Experts called it a “huge explosion” that generated pyroclastic flows down the volcano’s south and southwest flanks. “It’s destroying everything in its path,” Erouscilla Joseph, director of the University of the West Indies’ Seismic Research Center, told The Associated Press. “Anybody who would have not heeded the evacuation, they need to get out immediately.” The ongoing volcanic activity has threatened water and food supplies, with the government forced to drill for fresh water and distribute it via trucks. “We cannot put tarpaulin over a river,” said Garth Saunders, minister of the island’s water and sewer authority, referring to the impossibility of trying to protect current water sources from ongoing falling ash.

Colombia’s cartels target Europe (The Guardian) At 5 am on a chilly Tuesday morning last month, 1,600 police officers and balaclava-wearing special forces, bristling with arms and battering rams, were ordered into action around the Belgian port city of Antwerp. More than 200 addresses were raided in what was the largest police operation ever conducted in the country and potentially one of the most significant moves yet against the increasingly powerful narco-gangs of western Europe. An incredible 27 tonnes of cocaine have been seized on Antwerp’s quays, in container ships and safe houses, with an estimated value of €1.4bn (£1.2bn), and many arrests have been made. It has been hailed as a mighty blow against what Belgian federal prosecutor Frédéric Van Leeuw calls “a world where morality has totally disappeared”, but Operation Sky has also highlighted a chilling development. Europe has eclipsed the US as the Colombian cartels’ favoured market, because of higher prices and much lower risks posed by European governments in terms of interdiction, extradition and seizure of assets. Jeremy McDermott, a former British army officer who is now executive director of the thinktank InSight Crime, said a kilogram of cocaine in the US is worth up to $28,000 wholesale but that rises to $40,000 on average in Europe, and nearly $80,000 in some parts of Europe. “It is more money for less risk. I see a deliberate decision by some of the top-level Colombian traffickers, based on sources who sat in a series of meetings in 2005-6, where the business decisions were made,” McDermott said. “It is a business no-brainer.”

Conservative Ex-Banker Headed to Victory in Presidential Election in Ecuador (NYT) Guillermo Lasso, a 66-year-old conservative former banker, was set to win Ecuador’s presidential election and beat out Andrés Arauz, a 36-year-old leftist handpicked by former President Rafael Correa. With more than 94 percent of the votes counted after 10 p.m., Mr. Lasso had 52 percent compared with Mr. Arauz’s 47.32 percent, according to the Electoral Council official counting system in Ecuador. Mr. Arauz conceded defeat. The vote signaled a desire, at least among some, to shift right following years in which Mr. Correa has held sway over the country.

England reopens with pints pulled, shopping sprees and hair cuts (Reuters) People queued up outside retailers across England on Monday to release their pent-up shopping fever and some grabbed a midnight pint or even an early haircut as England’s shops, pubs, gyms and hairdressers reopened after three months of lockdown. After imposing the most onerous restrictions in Britain’s peacetime history, Prime Minister Boris Johnson said the reopening was a “major step” towards freedom but urged people to behave responsibly as the coronavirus was still a threat. Getting people spending again is crucial for Britain’s recovery after official data showed that 2020 was the worst year for its economy in more than three centuries with a 9.8% decline in gross domestic product.

Tropical Cyclone Seroja flattens Australian town (Washington Post) A tropical cyclone battered Australia’s west coast Sunday night and into Monday, destroying homes and leaving thousands without electricity. Severe wind gusts of up to 105 miles per hour tore houses apart and sent debris flying all over Kalbarri, a coastal tourist town of 1,350 people in Western Australia. Authorities estimated some 70 percent of the town’s buildings were damaged. Drone footage from the scene showed dozens of homes with their roofs ripped off. Power lines were down and roads were littered with shards of metal and other debris. Cyclone Seroja made landfall as a category three storm at about 8 p.m. local time on Sunday between the towns of Kalbarri and Gregory. Cyclones of such intensity rarely travel this far south in Australia, and towns outside the cyclone belt are not usually built to withstand the devastating conditions.

Muslims navigate restrictions in the second pandemic Ramadan (AP) For Ramadan this year, Magdy Hafez has been longing to reclaim a cherished ritual: performing the nighttime group prayers called taraweeh at the mosque once again. Last year, the coronavirus upended the 68-year-old Egyptian’s routine of going to the mosque to perform those prayers, traditional during Islam’s holiest month. The pandemic had disrupted Islamic worship the world over, including in Egypt where mosques were closed to worshippers last Ramadan. Ramadan, which begins this week, comes as much of the world has been hit by an intense new coronavirus wave. For many Muslims navigating restrictions, that means hopes of a better Ramadan than last year have been dashed with the surge in infection rates though regulations vary in different countries. A time for fasting, worship and charity, Ramadan is also when people typically congregate for prayers, gather around festive meals to break their daylong fast, throng cafes and exchange visits. Once again, some countries are imposing new restrictions.

Iran blames Israel for sabotage at Natanz nuclear site (AP) Iran on Monday blamed Israel for a sabotage attack on its underground Natanz nuclear facility that damaged the centrifuges it uses to enrich uranium there, warning that it would take revenge for the assault. The comments by Foreign Ministry spokesman Saeed Khatibzadeh represent the first official accusation leveled against Israel for the incident Sunday that cut power across the facility. Israel has not directly claimed responsibility for the attack. However, suspicion fell immediately on it as Israeli media widely reported that a devastating cyberattack orchestrated by Israel caused the blackout. If Israel was responsible, it would further heighten tensions between the two nations, already engaged in a shadow conflict across the wider Middle East. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who met Sunday with U.S. Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, has vowed to do everything in his power to stop the nuclear deal. According to US intelligence officials, it could take more than nine months to resume enrichment in the nuclear facility.

Abductions and Torture Rattle Uganda (NYT) Armed men in white minivans without license plates picked up people off the streets or from their homes. Those snatched were taken to prisons, police stations and military barracks where they say they were hooded, drugged and beaten—some left to stand in cellars filled with water up to their chests. The fear is still so palpable in the capital, Kampala, that many others have gone into hiding or left the country. Three months after Uganda’s president, Yoweri Museveni, won a sixth five-year term in office in the most fiercely contested election in years, his government appears to be intent on breaking the back of the political opposition. His principal challenger, Bobi Wine, a magnetic musician-turned-lawmaker who galvanized youthful crowds of supporters, is now largely confined to his house in Kampala. Mr. Wine’s party said on Friday that 623 members, supporters and elected officials have been seized from the streets and arrested in recent weeks, many of them tortured.

Prince Philip’s mourners in the South Pacific (Foreign Policy) The death of Prince Philip, the husband of Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II, triggered mourning rituals across the country over the weekend. The mourning is not only reserved for the United Kingdom—on one of Vanuatu’s islands, Tanna, hundreds of members of a local tribe have long venerated Prince Philip as akin to a god, and are preparing to mourn his passing. Although it’s unclear how the Prince Philip Movement began, it is believed to have taken root in the 1970s—given life by the royal couple’s visit in 1974. Key to the movement is the belief that Prince Philip is one with the tribe, and fulfilled a prophecy of a tribesman who had found a powerful wife overseas and “would return some day, either in person or in spiritual form,” Kirk Huffman, an anthropologist, told the BBC.

#headlines #news

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papermoonloveslucy · 5 years ago

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DENNIS DAY

May 21, 1916

Dennis Day was born Owen Patrick Eugene McNulty in New York City. He is best known for his professional relationship with Jack Benny, who he first teamed with on radio in 1939, and continued performing with until Benny’s death in 1974. His “Gee, Mr. Benny!” became a well-known catchphrase. He was an Irish tenor, who never performed professionally until Benny gave him his big break at the age of 21. From 1948 until his passing he was married to Peggy Almquist who bore him ten children.

He had his own radio show "A Day in the Life of Dennis Day" from 1946 to 1952 with Bea Benadaret in the cast. “I Love Lucy” viewers will remember her as Miss Lewis, Lucy Ricardo’s spinster neighbor. There was an attempt to move the sitcom to television, but the 1949 pilot episode was never picked up for series and the show remained on radio. He was simultaneously appearing on “The Jack Benny Program.”

BENNY: "Dennis, why do you have two horns on your bicycle?" DAY: "Why shouldn't I? I've got two shows!"

On the “The Jack Benny Program” (1951-65), his character's mother was a tyrant who intimidated Jack. Her name was Lucrezia Day and she was played by Verna Felton. His mother’s real name was Mary Grady. “I Love Lucy” viewers will remember that Felton played Lucy’s domineering maid, Mrs. Porter.

Felton also played Day’s TV mother on “The Dennis Day Show” (aka “The RCA Victor Show”; 1952-54). On that show, Day portrayed a bachelor who lives in a Hollywood apartment priced above his income level with hopes of succeeding in show business. In 1953, it was programmed opposite “I Love Lucy” on NBC. Hal March was seen on both series. Other “I Love Lucy” faces on the series included Ida Moore, George O’Hanlon, Hy Averback (who both played Charlie Appleby), Byron Foulger, and Parley Baer. Day even prevailed upon his sister-in-law actress Ann Blythe, and Jack Benny himself to make an appearance but the show still struggled for viewers.

Dennis Day Is Called Brave to Buck ‘Lucy’ Show

HOLLYWOOD, Apr. 7 (AP) — Nominated for the bravest man in TV: Dennis Day. “I wouldn’t say I was the bravest,” says Dennis. “Maybe the unluckiest.” The Dennis Day Show is on at the same time on Monday night as “I Love Lucy.”

This took real nerve, since “Lucy” has drawn the biggest audience in TV for the past two years. “Believe me, it wasn’t my idea to go opposite Lucy. I wanted to do my show on film. My sponsor, RCA, didn’t want me to. The only way I could get permission was to agree to take the spot opposite Lucy. So I did it. I took a chance and I failed. I think it was a mistake putting such a similar show opposite Lucy. We both have situation comedy. We had good mail from people who said they had switched over to watch us. Once they made the change, they seemed to like our show. But watching Lucy is too great a habit for the majority of viewers. We just couldn't fight it. In Canada, where I don’t have to face Lucy, ours is the No. 1 show.”

In 1967, Day appeared on “The Lucy Show” in “Little Old Lucy” (TLS S6;E7) in which he plays an amorous 90 year-old bank president named Cornelius Hetherington Jr. This was quite a departure for Day, who was perennially the boy singer on Benny’s shows, despite his age.

BENNY (in 1965): “That crazy kid drives me nuts!”

This is one of the rare times Day plays a character that is not connected to Jack Benny, although Lucille Ball certainly featured Benny on many of her shows. In fact, the previous episode “Lucy Gets Jack Benny’s Account” (TLS S6;E6) Benny mentions Day by name as Lucy admires photos of his radio and television show on his wall. Did Day come as a ‘package deal’ for Benny’s appearance?

Day was just 41 at the time, so was nearly unrecognizable under layers of old age make-up.

To escort him to a fancy dress bank affair, Lucy Carmichael dons little old lady garb as Mrs. Abigail Vandermere. She spends most of their date avoiding his advances.

Dennis Day’s elderly banker character bears more than a passing resemblance to the elderly banker played by Dick Van Dyke (insert) in Mary Poppins (1964).

Two years later, in 1969, Lucille Ball appeared on “Jack Benny’s Birthday Special” which also brought together many Benny’s regulars, including Dennis Day, who surprises him with a gift.

Irish tenor Day sings “Cuando calienta de sol” (“Love Me With All Your Heart”) in Spanish (!) while Benny accompanies him on the violin. Day’s voice breaks Benny’s expensive Stradivarius violin just as a soprano’s high trill would a crystal goblet.

A year later, Lucille Ball and Dennis Day turned up again for “Jack Benny’s 20th Anniversary Special”. This time, Day and Ball did not share any scenes. Ball appears briefly as the Benny’s maid and Day makes a guest appearance in an airport sketch where he is met by his real-life wife Peggy and their ten children!

Day’s last TV appearance was less than a year before his death, in September, 1987, on the Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon. With tears in his eyes, he spoke of his recent diagnosis of Lou Gehrig's Disease, and pleaded with viewers to help support medical research for that and other neuromuscular diseases via their donations. At the time of his passing he was 72 years old.

#Dennis Day #Lucille Ball #Jack Benny #The Jack Benny Program #I Love Lucy #Bea Benadaret #Verna Felton #The Lucy Show

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mycryptosuite · 1 year ago

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tabloidtoc · 5 years ago

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TV Guide, March 30-April 12

Cover: Pauley Perrette on the sitcom Broke

Page 1: Contents, ratings

Page 2: Ask Matt -- Better Call Saul, Your Feedback, Coming Next Issue -- NCIS: Los Angeles

Page 4: TV in the Age of Coronavirus

Page 6: Everything you need to know about new streaming service Quibi

Page 8: The Roush Review -- World on Fire starring Sean Bean

Page 9: Deadwater Fell, One Day at a Time, Westworld

Page 10; Cover Story -- We loved her as Abby on NCIS but kooky joyous Pauley Perrette is made for comedy on Broke

Page 12: Masterclass -- Daniel Levy and Norman Lear

Page 15: The Walking Dead: World Beyond -- the new Walking Dead spinoff introduces four sheltered Nebraska teens and the high-tech highly suspect Civil Republic Military starring Aliyah Royale and Alexa Mansour

Page 16: What’s Worth Watching -- Week 1 -- MacGyver starring Jeri Ryan

Page 17: Monday, March 30 -- The Bold and the Beautiful with Heather Tom, The Neighborhood, Driven, The Good Doctor, Almost Premiere with Christian Kane

Page 18: Tuesday, March 31 -- NCIS directed by Rocky Carroll, The Conners, The Biggest Loser, The Scheme, 7 Little Johnstons

Page 19: Wednesday, April 1 -- The Masked Singer, Bering Sea Gold, S.W.A.T., The Magicians series finale

Page 20: Thursday, April 2 -- How to Get Away With Murder, Man With a Plan, The Real Housewives of New York City, Friday, April 3 -- Hawaii Five-0 series finale, Outcry, High Maintenance

Page 21: Saturday, April 4 -- The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, Frankie Drake Mysteries, Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta, The Zoo, The Six Million Dollar Man

Page 22: Sunday, April 5 -- The Windermere Children, Ruby Herring Mysteries: Prediction Murder, House in a Hurry, The West Memphis Three: An ID Murder Mystery, The Rookie

Page 40: Stream It! Your Guide To the Best Streaming Available -- Netflix -- Tiger King: Murder Mayhem and Madness, Money Heist, The English Game, Apple TV+ -- The Banker

Page 41: Hulu -- Parasite, Nip/Tuck, Acorn TV -- Deadwater Fell with David Tennant, Land Girls

Page 42: New Movie Releases on Netflix, Prime Video, Hulu, IMDB TV

Page 43: Series Specials and Documentaries -- Netflix, Prime Video, Hulu, CBS Access, Britbox

Page 44: What’s Worth Watching -- Week 2 -- Belgravia

Page 45: Monday, April 6 -- Jeopardy! College Championship, Wayne Brady’s Comedy IQ, Manifest, Camp Getaway

Page 46: Tuesday, April 7 -- New Amsterdam with Daniel Dae Kim, Days of Our Lives, Schitt’s Creek series finale, Bargain Mansions, The Last O.G.

Page 47: Wednesday, April 8 -- Chicago Fire with Joe Minoso, Modern Family, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Liar

Page 48: Thursday, April 9 -- Will & Grace honors I Love Lucy, Station 19, Mark of a Killer, Total Bellas, Better Things

Page 49: Friday, April 10 -- Fantasy Lands, Shark Tank, Magnum P.I., Dynasty, Pawn Stars, Portals to Hell

Page 50: Saturday, April 11 -- It Chapter Two, The Clark Sisters: First Ladies of Gospel, Alaska Animal Rescue, Sunday, April 12 -- Outlander, Aurora Teagarden Mysteries: Heist and Seek, The Walking Dead, Baptiste, Insecure

Page 70: Horoscope

Page 72: Cheers & Jeers -- Cheers to SEAL Team, Little Fires Everywhere, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Nancy Drew, Jeers to Grey’s Anatomy, a hellaciously long wait for Lucifer, The Bachelor: Women Tell All

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tsghuntsvillealabama · 5 years ago

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#stayconnectedHUNTSVILLE

This is our home. And even during these crazy times, living and loving local is even more important than ever! We can still support small businesses and community in Huntsville and our surrounding areas! In order to help everyone with this we have pulled some info about local members and our fair city to do just that!

Take care and be well everyone!

xoxo (but with elbow bumps now), Dawn

Updated: Monday, April 14th - 12:27am

Local Info About Our City of Huntsville

Huntsville City Resource and Information page, remember there are live media briefings weekdays at Noon

Huntsville City Council met on Monday, March 16th and unanimously voted for a state of emergency, The State of Alabama has issued a “Stay at Home” Public Health Order requiring individuals to remain in place at home with exceptions for essential work and certain activities such as buying groceries, going for a run, walking the dog, picking up medicine, visiting a doctor and traveling to and from work (if designated as an essential business or operation). 6 feet of social distance is necessary for all activities.

The order is in effect from 5 p.m. April 4 through 5 p.m. April 30, or extended to further contain the spread of COVID-19 in Huntsville and Madison County.

Downtown Huntsville has a great running list of Downtown Huntsville Restaurants & Retail Stores Expanding Delivery Due To Coronavirus Measures

Huntsville Madison County Chamber also has a good list of local restaurants offering take-out and delivery

WLRH has started a running list of How to Help in the TN Valley

Here is a good list of School and College Closings

Randolph School has a really good centralized information resource page

Efforts for collecting food for kiddos who could go without because of school closures can be found here via Native or Not and Touronimo!

Huntsville Symphony Orchestra has canceled events through the end of March, more info can be found here.

US Space and Rocket Center will be closed till April 3rd.

Update from Progress Bank: Beginning Monday, March 23, our branch lobbies will be accessed by appointment only by calling 888.513.2288. All normal transactions will occur via our drive thru lanes or via curbside service in the absence of a drive-thru. For Business Banking, Private Banking, Mortgage Services and Financial Services, please contact your banker or advisor directly. If you need to access your safe deposit box, please call 888.513.2288. Electronic services: Access Online Banking here, Access Mobile Banking for Apple and Android devices

Burritt on the Mountain is closed until Friday, April 3rd, following the school system closure.

Lowe Mill Arts and Entertainment also follows Huntsville City Schools protocol and will be closing the mill to the public starting Monday, March 16 and could re-open on April 4th. They encourage and welcome everyone to explore their website online so you can get to know all their local artists and makers!

Direct from Fantasy Playhouse Children’s Theatre: “All Classes are postponed immediately. We will not have class from March 16, 2020-April 3, 2020. As of now, we will resume class on April 6, 2020. Subject to change based on the CDC and school closures. Spring Break Camp is cancelled and After School Programs are cancelled. If you have questions about camps or classes, please email Candice at [email protected]. All other questions please email [email protected]. We did not make the decision to close camps and classes lightly and understand the burden that it places on families. We hope you take solace in knowing that this act of social distancing will help our city curb the spread of this terrible illness and keep you and your loved ones safer. Despite the significant challenges this crisis poses, we are a resilient, loving community, and we know that we will get through this together. We speak on behalf of all faculty and staff when we say we look forward to the time when our students can return to their classes and we can gather together as a community once again. Until then, thank you as always for your patience and cooperation.”

Decatur-Morgan Co. Chamber: Approximately 80 percent of your chamber’s membership is small business. It is everything from restaurants to retail to consulting to technology to real estate to the arts and so much more. They are a vital part of our economy and the personality of our community. In light of public health concerns, many of them will be struggling due to social distancing and limited public engagement. So, how can you help? Take a look at this infographic and transition your commerce to both support business and to protect yourself from risk. What are other ways we can support small business? Together, we can do this!

Mark and Ron of In Bloom are offering curb-side pick up from their Five Points location. And they are also making fantastic use of their downtime and started a new all wedding instagram that is already starting to fill up with gorgeous flowers! Be sure and give them a follow on insta!

Shop & Learn From Home or Curbside

Consider gift certificates and purchasing future classes for later from local places who have either sanitized and stayed open or bravely closed their doors to help flatten the curve.

Elitaire Boutique has a great website to shop from! If you have sizing questions Kayla suggests calling one of their stylist - and they are even offering curb-side pick up or delivery straight to your door (within a 10 mile radius). They are also offering free shipping for the next two weeks! And now you can book a private shopping appointment with us! This way you and up to two of your best girlfriends can grab your favorite items at a discount in a clean, safe (and fun!) stress-free environment. Call for your appointment: 256.947.0618

Carriage House will porch deliver & pick up at no charge. You can call them at 256.355.4349 & they will put a box of Spring styles together for you. You won’t even have to leave the house!

Personal Couture is starting front porch, contactless drop offs and pick ups for purchases and consignment!

Direct from Vertical House Records: “Ok y'all. Wednesday will be the last day you will be able to access Vertical House Records unless the Mill figures out a way to keep the gates open. So if you wanna stock up before we all go into hiding, swing through on Wednesday. After that, Andy and I will be trying to brainstorm ways to get music to all of you fine folks. Since our 25,000 albums don't have barcodes, it's a bit tough to get our inventory online quickly. Therefore, we will be accepting lists of your "apocalypse albums" and doing the digging for you. If we have it, we can generate an invoice on paypal and once it's been paid, we can deliver or ship it out to yas! We also have gift certificates available should you want to buy one now and save it for when you can come dig yourself! You are welcome to paypal [email protected] and note "gift certificate" and you will have instant credit with us woo!! We have and always will appreciate you fine Huntsvillians! Thanks so much for your continued support throughout the years. May we all come out of this safe and sound! We love you all! <3″

Jill’s Studio of Dance - TBD

The Topiary Tree - TBD

Eat Out, At Home

GrubSouth has a little bit of everything! If you want a huge variety of great local food delivered straight to your door take a peek at their menus - and now you can select a no-contact delivery option where they will leave it at your door!

Domaine South has closed their doors for two weeks as of March 20th.

Church Street Family is still available for carry-out - this includes: Pourhouse and Mazzara’s Purveyor, Church Street Wine Shoppe

Straight to Ale is available through GrubSouth for our delivery food options, or come pick up a take out order! We’ve got crowlers, growlers, spirits, and food! Open 12-8pm daily.

Sweet City Micros delivers! You can order each week by Thursday for Friday delivery.

Piper and Leaf Shop updates as of Monday, March 16: - P&L x Constitution Park curbside, pickup, and delivery. - P&L x Strong Station curbside, pickup, and delivery. - P&L x Pizitz food Hall pickup, and delivery. - P&L x Lowe Mill curbside, pickup, and delivery. And they have amplified sanitation procedures greatly

We discovered this great reference list for local vendors from Lindsey Keane for The Market at MidCity and wanted to be sure all our awesome local supporters knew about it! There are local eggs, veggies, fruit, honey, meats, breads and microgreens from Sweet City Micros all available with a phone call or email!

Specifically for Ledges Members - Beginning Tuesday, 3/17/2020, The Ledges will offer meals to-go in two formats: Take-Out Meals where Members can order from our dining menus, and our staff will prepare the meals and have them ready for pick up & Pre-Prepared Meals - A daily special will be advertised to the membership. These will be pre-prepared, fully cooked meals the members can then take home and heat with the provided instructions.

Coronavirus Information and Updates

Centers for Disease Control

World Health Organization

Hudson Alpha Sharable Science

#tsghuntsville #huntsvilleal #learn #huntsville

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xtruss · 5 years ago

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How Suddenly-precious Cobalt that Powers ‘Teslas and iPhones’ also Fuels ‘Child Labor’ in Africa & Armed Heists in Europe

An artisanal miner carries raw ore at Tilwizembe, a former industrial copper-cobalt mine, outside of Kolwezi, the capital city of Lualaba Province in the south of the Democratic Republic of the Congo

It’s an unwanted side-effect of the world’s growing desire for environmentally friendly vehicles: rare metals that are key components of electric cars are becoming prime targets for criminals, as demand sends their values soaring.

How to steal $10 million

On a sunny July weekend in Rotterdam last year, a gang of men pull up in trucks at an unremarkable bonded warehouse situated among an industrial landscape of cranes, shipping containers and depots that sprawls 25 miles along the banks of Europe’s biggest port.

Having purloined the secure codes that give them access through the warehouse’s main gates, they make their way inside and head first to the building’s security unit, punch in the number that disables the alarms and quickly remove the recording unit for the cameras that are aimed at the doors and windows.

Satisfied they are no longer being spied on, they head to a section towards the back of the warehouse and cut the padlock on its sliding door to reveal hundreds of orange and blue drums piled four-high on pallets. All are stuffed full with the prize the men are after: cobalt, a formerly obscure, unwanted metal that, thanks to the electric vehicle revolution, has become a highly desirable commodity nicknamed “blue gold”.

Five or six hours later, the last of the pallets stowed on board their trucks, the gang drives away with 112 tonnes of cobalt, worth around US$10 million. The Dutch police who will investigate when the heist is discovered on the Monday morning spend months failing to catch anyone for the crime or recover any of the stolen goods.

A conveyor belt carries chunks of Raw cobalt after a first transformation at a plant in Lubumbash

Electrifying demand

Cobalt has become of particular interest to organised crime since its price rocketed by 250 percent between 2016 and 2018 (from about US$26,000 a tonne to more than US$90,000) thanks to demand from electric car manufacturers such as Tesla, Volvo, Ford and Volkswagen, and smartphone makers like Apple.

Its unique qualities prevent lithium-ion batteries in mobiles and electric cars from overheating and going up in flames. More than 50 percent of all cobalt demand is now for battery use, and the EU and the US both class it as a critical raw material.

As electric vehicle production gears up - manufacturers worldwide are investing US$300 billion over the next few years so as to build 35 million electric cars and trucks annually by 2030 - experts believe that the price of cobalt will rise again and make it even more attractive to criminals. According to the prediction of one American cobalt investor: “A wave of demand for copper, nickel, lithium and cobalt is coming that almost no one - miner, investor or banker alike - has anticipated or planned for.”

‘The new gasoline’ fuels abuse

The value of cobalt, which takes its name from the German kobold, or “goblin”, derives from its novel properties and relatively short supply. It is an element that does not occur in a "free" form, but is gathered during the mining of copper or nickel and needs to be chemically prised from them using acids and heat.

For hundreds of years, it was used to impart a distinctive blue tint to glass or ceramics, but in the 20th century scientists discovered it to have qualities crucial to our most advanced technologies. Combined with other metals, it produces alloys that are extremely strong, stable under high temperatures and anti-corrosive for use in aircraft engines, rockets, nuclear power stations, turbines and cutting tools.

However, it is the demand created by its critical role in batteries for electric cars that is not only producing the unwanted attention of criminals, but is also fuelling a human rights crisis involving exploited child labour in one of the world’s poorest countries in Africa.

Around 70 percent of the world’s supplies come from the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), which has been beset by decades of war, corruption and unrest. The country is described as being to cobalt what Saudia Arabia is to oil - Goldman Sachs, the merchant bank, has called cobalt “the new gasoline".

Every day, tens of thousands of desperate Congolese, including children as young as four, illegally mine cobalt by hand in horrendous conditions. Unicef estimates that there are 40,000 children working in mines across southern DRC, earning as little as 8p a day to crawl through discarded mines, some more than 100 meters deep, to scavenge for rocks containing cobalt in the discarded by-products.

Reports from Amnesty International and others catalogue frequent injuries and deaths, prompting television and newspaper reports detailing the dreadful human cost. One headline in a British newspaper states: “Child miners aged four living a hell on Earth so you can drive an electric car.”

Campaigners estimate that hundreds of miners die every year or have their health seriously damaged. The hazards include mine collapses such as the one in June this year that killed more than 40 miners working illegally on a site in Lualaba province in south-east DR; asphyxiation due to inadequate ventilation; and illnesses such as the respiratory disease cobalt lung, a pneumonia which can cause permanent incapacity or death.

A man digs through some mine waste searching for left over cobalt in a mine between Lubumbashi and Kolwezi

It’s feared that thousands more children will be sucked into the hellish trade, particularly now that many countries have pledged to ban the sale of new petrol and diesel cars between 2025 and 2040.

Such damaging reports and headlines have forced companies like Apple, Tesla, Volkswagen and Volvo to try to find ways to ensure that the metal they buy is not “conflict cobalt” produced using child labour. One avenue being explored is the use of blockchain technology, the cryptographic tech behind digital currencies like Bitcoin, to ensure traceability.

Thriving black market

It may be difficult to enforce. The rocks that the children find are sold on cheaply to traders, mostly Chinese middle-men who, in turn, ship the cobalt back to their country to be made untraceable; it is smelted down before joining the supply chain that feeds the needs of giant multinationals, and whets the appetite of organised crime gangs in Europe.

Another cobalt heist occurred in 2012 down the coast in Antwerp. Three containers of cobalt had been shipped to a warehouse at the Belgian port. When truckers arrived to pick them up, they discovered that two had already been “collected”; thieves had once again somehow obtained the access codes used for deliveries.

Experts believe that the robberies are being carried out by organised crime gangs who not only know the docks well, but have extensive knowledge of the metal and understand the market for it. “Cobalt is not as fungible a commodity as many believe – this makes it a difficult product to ‘fence’ without a knowledgeable middleman with routes to market,” says George Heppel, a senior cobalt analyst at London-based CRU group, which offers business intelligence on the metals and mining industries.

So what happens to the stolen cobalt? “It is highly unlikely to have made its way into the battery supply chain,” Heppel says. “My best guess is that it was probably sold into the alloy scrap and revert sector to be used in superalloys, speciality steels or diamond tools. It’s more likely to be in a jet engine than a smartphone.”

But whatever the use the black market that exists for scarce and valuable metals like cobalt is thriving. Jan Struijs, the chairman of the Dutch police union and the former head of a criminal investigation squad in Rotterdam, told the business channel Bloomberg that the warehouse robbery there was simply “the tip of the iceberg".

David Weight, the president of the UK-based Cobalt Institute, says: “If something is valuable then it becomes a target. You saw it with copper: when its price was high, people were stealing manhole covers and pulling up electrical cables from the ground - and some were killing themselves doing it. When the price is high, people do the most extraordinary things.”

— By Richard Ellis, freelance journalist in the UK, December 9, 2019

The statements, views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of RT.

— RT

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falloutboy · 7 years ago

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M A N I A has arrived 🌊

CHURCH VIDEO

Kicking things off tonight with a tale of chaos - watch the video for Church.

Not stopping the madness anytime soon…

WRIGLEY FIELD SHOW

There's a light on in Chicago and I know I should be home… CHICAGO!! We’re coming home on September 8th to play our biggest show yet at Wrigley Field. It’ll be us, Chicago homies Rise Against, Machine Gun Kelly. We’re bringing the M A N I A Experience to you. There will be an Angels and Kings revival, a pop up shop with new exclusive merch (also bringing some classic fob designs back from the dead), & much more. Don’t want to spoil all of the surprises, but we promise it’ll be good.

But wait, there’s more!

THE M A N I A TOUR

Later this year The M A N I A Tour is hitting cities across America & we’re bringing Machine Gun Kelly along for the ride along with special guests Gym Class Heroes, Every Time I Die, Against The Current, State Champs, L.I.F.T., and nothing, nowhere playing on select dates TBA. All of the dates can be found below including Wrigley.

Pre-sale tickets and VIP packages for the tour + Wrigley go on sale January 22nd at 10am local. Wrigley will have some special VIP packages not available anywhere else which include a meet and greet (w/ Pete & Andy), hotel for the night & more. Info on all the VIP packages can be found here.

Want first shot at tickets/VIP? Just order any piece of merch in our webstore that comes with M A N I A to get your unique pre-sale code emailed to you. Order by Sunday to make sure your code is delivered in time ahead of the 10am pre-sale on Monday.

If you already pre-ordered the album from the webstore, codes are on the way! Check the email you pre-ordered with originally and if you’re not seeing it, check your spam.

If you don’t want new merch, sign up to our mailing list for free by the 23rd to get the mailing list pre-sale code. Code will get sent out on the 24th for the pre-sale starting on Thursday the 25th at 9am local.

General on sale starts Friday January 26th at 10am local.

$1 from every ticket sold will go to the Fall Out Boy Fund benefiting charities throughout Chicago 💜

August 29th - Uniondale, NY @ NYCB Live, Home of The Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum August 31st - Uncasville, CT @ Mohegan Sun Arena September 1st - Hershey, PA @ Hersheypark Stadium September 2nd - Buffalo, NY @ KeyBank Center September 4th - Newark, NJ @ Prudential Center September 5th - Pittsburgh, PA @ PPG Paints Arena September 6th - Grand Rapids, MI @ The Van Andel Arena September 8th - Chicago, IL @ Wrigley Field September 9th - Columbus, OH @ Nationwide Arena September 11th - Nashville, TN @ Bridgestone Arena September 12th - Louisville, KY @ KFC Yum! Center September 14th - Greensboro, NC @ Greensboro Coliseum Complex September 16th - Orlando, FL @ Amway Center September 21st - Kansas City, MO @ Sprint Center September 22nd - Oklahoma City, OK @ Chesapeake Energy Arena September 23rd - Austin, TX @ Frank Erwin Center September 25th - El Paso, TX @ UTEP Don Haskins Center September 26th - Tucson, AZ @ Tucson Arena September 28th - Las Vegas, NV @ MGM Grand Garden Arena September 29th - Anaheim, CA @ HONDA Center September 30th - San Jose, CA @ SAP Center October 2nd - Boise, ID @ Taco Bell Arena October 3rd - Salt Lake City, UT @ Vivint Smart Home Arena October 5th - Lincoln, NE @ Pinnacle Bank Arena October 6th - Des Moines, IA @ Wells Fargo Arena October 7th - Indianapolis, IN @ Bankers Life Fieldhouse October 9th - North Little Rock, AR @ Verizon Arena October 10th - New Orleans, LA @ Smoothie King Center

VIP PACKAGES

#fall out boy #fob #mania #fobmania #m a n i a #pete wentz #patrick stump #andy hurley #joe trohman #dcd2 #dcd2 records #hold me tight or don't #church #young and menace #the last of the real ones #stay frosty royal milk tea

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clickairadio · 2 years ago

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CAIR 75: Real Estate Returns Too Good To Be True? The Land Geek...

Today I had the opportunity to speak with "The Land Geek". Fascinating conversation. He's got over, well over four and a half million downloads on his podcast. He's got some interesting ideas and insights on investing with land that the returns higher than normal, I guess normal, what's normal, higher than, you know, eight 10% return, if you will, returns on these investments. So I'm very excited to have Mark here with me today. Thanks for joining us, we learn the secrets from the land geek.

Everybody welcome to another episode of Financial Investing Radio. So I have been chasing this person for some time. He is super busy and has an amazing profile. I hope you take the opportunity to look into what he's done. We're going to be having conversation today with Mark, Oh man, Mark. I didn't even ask at a time. Podolski!

Mark Perfect pronunciation.

Grant Did I say that? Okay. All right. Very good. Mark. Welcome. Thank you for being here today. I appreciate it.

Mark Grant Larsen, an honor. Privilege. Thank you.

Grant You know, we found out that we are not too far from each other geographically, which is a real treat. There's some neat, neat things about the part of the country we live in for sure.

Mark Absolutely. We've lost our complaining privileges living in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Grant That's right. That's right. That's right. Even when it gets a little hot. I've learned to quit Quit complaining about it's not a Houston hot right.

Mark Houston hot. It's 80 degrees in the pool.

Grant Yeah, that's. That's right. It's fixable with the pool. That's right, right. Okay, so the land geek, you are known as the land geek, you've done a great job getting your name out there as land geek, not only getting your name out there, but proving a framework. But we'll get to the framework here in a moment. Because what you've done is pretty unique compared to other real estate investing strategies that are out there, of which I actually participate in some of those others, right, but I won't get to that yet. So I'm interested to learn more about what you do here. But let's back up. You were doing what what got you started to say I'm gonna go after land investments in this way.

Mark So if we rewind the tape now, to 2000 I was a miserable micromanaged. 45 minute commute to work and back investment banker specializing in mergers and acquisitions with private equity groups. And grant it got so bad for me. I wouldn't get the Sunday blues, anticipating Monday coming around. I'd get the Friday blues, anticipating the weekend going by really fast. And having to be back at work. On Monday. I was pretty much yeah, really blue. So I first hired this guy, and he's telling me that as a side hustle, he's going to tax deed auctions. He's buying raw land, pennies on the dollar. He's flipping them online, and he's making a 300% return on his money. Grant. I'm looking at companies all day long. And a great company great has 15% EBIT on margins are free cash flow, average company's 10%. And I'm looking at companies all day long, less than 10%. So of course, I don't believe them. And I've got three grand saved up for car repairs. I go to New Mexico with them. I do exactly what he tells me to do. I buy 10 Half Acre parcels and average price of $300 each. I flipped them online. And they all sell for an average price of $1,200 each. It worked. So I went to another auction and in Arizona, where we live. And again, this is 2000 There's no one in the room. I'm buying up lots of acreage or nothing. And I sell all that property. You know that what auction I made over $90,000 So I go to my wife. She's pregnant at the time. I said Honey, I'm going to quit My job and become a full time lead investor. And she said, Absolutely not. Yeah.

Grant What do you say? And what are you doing on?

Mark Yeah. So it took 18 months for the land investing income to exceed the investment banking income. And then I quit. I've been doing it full time ever since. And I absolutely love it.

Grant That's incredible. So you just sort of stumbled into it, someone happened to say, they'd already sort of figured this out. Now, it sounds like what you did with that is after you've done this for a while, you've created a system out of this, then is that right?

Mark Yeah, I mean, after a while, you start picking up things, and you start seeing, okay, well, how do I make this job, myself. And, really, my whole philosophy is, I can always make more money, I can't get more time. And so we want to use three levers to scale and grow a business, other people's time, software and automation, and other people's money. And so once I combined all three of those, I was really able to grow and work really about 30 minutes a week, in my business.

Grant What, 30 minutes, you're at a point now where you work 30 minutes a week on your business? In the business? Yeah, that's amazing. Wow. But it took that scaling, right, took that automation to figure it out the team around you to help take care of certain aspects of it took all of those pieces, as well as other people's money. That's interesting. That took five years. Oh, that was gonna ask you so five years to get to that point, learn the lessons, learn the business processes that you should automate, and so forth. Right?

Mark Well, five years just to start getting myself out of business, probably another five years, to get to my point where I can work 30 minutes, 30 minutes in the business, rarely, I'm just meeting with my Acquisition Manager. And we're looking at the numbers and saying how many deals are pending? How many offers went out? How many deals will be closed? How can I support you?

Grant So when it comes to finding these opportunities is the auctions is that your main input, or source or how well find these.

Mark So Grant, I'm going to walk you exactly through how I do it. So you live, I'm gonna use these as a case study. You're in Scottsdale, Arizona, but let's assume that you own five acres of raw land in Texas, and you owe $200 in back taxes. So essentially, you're advertising two important things.

Number one, you have no emotional attachment to the raw land, you're in Arizona, the properties and taxes in Texas.

And number two, you're distressed financially in some weird way. Because we don't pay for things like our property taxes, we don't value them in the same way. As resolved, county treasurer, keeps sending me notices saying, Grant, if you don't pay your property taxes, you're going to lose that five acre parcel, tax deed or tax lien investor. So all I'm gonna do is look at the comparable sales on your five acre parcel for the last 12 to 18 months, I'm gonna take the lowest comparable sale, let's say $10,000 and divide by four. And that's gonna give you a Warren Buffett would call a 300% margin of safety. So I'm gonna send you an actual offer on your five acre parcel for $2,500. Now you accept it. Why? Because for you $2,500 is better than nothing. In reality, three to 5% of people accept my quote unquote, top dollar offer. But now that you've accepted it, I have to go through due diligence or in depth research. I have to confirm you still own the property. I have to confirm back taxes are only $200 I have to make sure there's been no breaks in the chain of title. There's no liens or encumbrances. And because it's only $2,500 investment, I outsourced to my team in the Philippines, connected to an American Title Company. It cost about $11. I was investing $5,000 or more, I wouldn't take any title risk.

You have to close traditionally through a title company. But since this is a smaller deal, everything checks out. And now I'm going to sell your five acre parcel 30 days or less and make a cash flow. So I have a built in best buyer grant. Do you know who it is? Who is the neighbors, the neighbors? So I'm going to send out neighbor letters saying hey, here's your opportunity. Protect your privacy. Protect your views. Know your neighbor. So oftentimes the neighbors will buy now if the neighbors pass a gun to my buyers list, if they pass. A good little website you may have heard of, it's called Craigslist is the 15th most trafficked website United States. I'll go to one I know you've heard of called meta, or Facebook, buy sell groups in the marketplace, and then I'll go to the lands land moto.com lands of america.com land and farm.com land flip.com Land hub.com These are platforms where people buy and sell raw land. But the way that I'm going to do it is the secret. I'm going to make it irresistible for my next buyer. All I'm going to ask for is a $2,500 downpayment, to control this five acre parcel, and then I'll make it a car payment, let's say 297 a month, for the next 84 months at 9% interest. So it's a one time sale, I'll get my money out on the down payment. I could go six to 10 months out. And now I'm getting a passive income of 297 a month, next 84 months. No renters. No rehabs, no renovations, no rodents. And because I'm not dealing with a tenant, I'm exempt from Dodd Frank RESPA. And the SAFE Act, all this owners real estate legislation. So grant, it's a simple game, can I create enough land notes where my passive income exceeds my fixed expenses? And now working?

Grant Because I want to not because I have to guess you have to? So on those numbers, then Mark, when you look at that, and what's the percentage of those that carry all the way through, you know, you're obviously I love, I love how you have the profile for that best buyer, how you create that, that passive income, what sort of risks does that put on your shoulders, where there's potential for them not following through on the cash flow, any issues there?

Mark We don't mind it, because we use a land contract. And a land contract means that we can we still own the underlying asset, while they make payments. If they default, they have 30 days to cure their default. If they don't, we keep the down payment, we keep the monthly payments, our cost basis goes lower, we resell that property, we get a new down payment, we get new monthly payments, and extends out a return on investment is...

Grant Oh, that's awesome.

Mark So I've been investing my wife and I invest in real estate, but it's it's on. It's with the tenant model, right? It's, you know, creating sort of the cash flow on that site. And it has some of the challenges and headaches you're talking about. Right? It's I deal with property management organizations, I deal with tenants that aren't following through blah, blah, blah, blah, all that. And so this is appealing to me to be able to say, hey, you know, I don't have to worry about about that.

Grant Is there a return that you felt like is higher taking this strategy than taking that sort of tenant based model?

Mark Well, our average return on cash is 300%. And on terms, it's 1,000%.

Grant That's crazy. Because we you know, typically fight for eight to 10 or 15%, right? In this in this renter model. So that's, that's fascinating, fascinating approach. So a couple things here. The average hold time. So you'd mentioned 30 days, are you literally flipping these in a 30 day timeframe? Is that the average?

Mark Yeah, that's average. Now, if it's more than 30 days, something has to change. Maybe we have to raise the downpayment, maybe people think it's too good to be true. Maybe we have to lower the downpayment, maybe we have to raise the price, lower the price, change the interest rate, change the terms, something needs to change, maybe it's as simple as the headline is conducting. So that's our litmus test for what's wrong with our app. Why did that? Why is this not selling 30 days?

Grant What's the what's the benefit of turning it into that passive cash flow as opposed to just flipping and taking the cash right now all of it out of the deal and walking away with that in your pocket?

Mark Well, cash is a problem, right? Because now I've got to do it all over again. And I've just created a really hard job for myself. So I'd rather buy the asset one time and hold it for as long as I can and have a cash flow rather than flip a tax. Hopefully, I get another deal flip, pay tax, the market could turn on me. Right? I've been I've overpaid and I'm stuck with an asset.

Grant Yep, makes makes total sense. So I noticed on your on your on your YouTube channel here. I noticed on there you you've been creating quite a nice playlist for a long time describing some of the challenges the hurdles the things people might deal with some tips and techniques around that. You've been publishing for quite a while on this. If someone were to get started on your YouTube channel itself, you've got this nice entry YouTube video right there passive income without headaches explained. I love that as your entry one. I watched that and you walk through much of the framework that you just described here today, what would be some of the hurdles that you think people will run into? Or that you've seen people run into where, where this doesn't work?

Mark Well, you know, the biggest hurdle I think, for people who get started is they think, can I do this in my backyard? Well, if you live in San Francisco, no, no one's gonna sell you an infill lot. 25 cents on the dollar, they're gonna go the biggest, baddest land broker in town. If you live in Manhattan, same thing. So we're looking at properties an hour to three hours from the nearest town. And also, there's 3007 us counties like where do you start? So if I live in Iowa, let's face it, nobody wakes up next boy, I'd like to buy some land today in Iowa, unless you live in Iowa. So to get your biggest buyer pool, you want to be the southwest, little bit the Northwest, California and Florida. These are the sunshine states. These are fast growing states. And there is just a plethora of inexpensive raw land.

Grant Okay. All right. That's fascinating. The other thing that I think you wrote your book was in 2017, did I get the date? Right? I think 2018 and 2018. Okay, dirt rich, dirt Ranch is out on Amazon did a review of that awesome book. Tell us about that? What does that cover?

Mark So Dirt Rich gives you the basics of how to buy and sell raw land, it also tells my story. So you don't make the same mistakes. I did. And then Durbridge two is coming out very soon. The next plot how to scale your business.

Grant I love that the next plot, there's a play on words right there for sure. You're also out there on medium.com. I see you being referenced and talked about there. As well as you got your website, check that out as well land geek, the land geek.com, right, the Land Rover COMM And I'm assuming that is I reviewed that what I noticed about what you have here is this is where people can come to your organization, if I understand it, right and say, hey, I want to get trained in this. I want to get skilled and how to create my own business. I'm assuming this is where you take your years and years of expertise. And you condense that into a program, if you will, that take all the lessons learned rather than take 10 years to learn it. You'll learn it and you know, how long, what is sort of the up ramp for people in terms of amount of time and effort?

Mark I mean, can really get going in about 16 weeks. Okay. Yeah.

Grant That's, that's amazing. It's amazing. Have you do you participate in any sort of real estate investing other than raw land?

Mark No, because I don't have an advantage in any other real estate niche other than raw land. So I'm a inch wide, and a mile deep. So and no one can really get my returns, it would be nice to get depreciation because land lasts forever. But that being said, I don't have to deal with the depreciation like there is depreciation for reason I don't have to deal with any physical structures. So I like the headache free piece of it. And I got it 90% automated with software and expensive virtual assistants.

Grant That's incredible. So tell me about your, your best type of client that would come to you and say, hey, I want to participate in building passive income with your program. What does that look like? Who do you know?

Mark You gotta have a burning desire to change your life? Right? You don't have to grit. So anything we're doing in life is inherently hard. And so it's kind of like hockey, right? People who play hockey, really love hockey, because they love it enough to get their teeth knocked out and get back up. It's the same thing in business. You have to love what you're doing enough to get knocked down and get back up. And so if you have a burning desire, give me that more than somebody who has cash. So I always say commitment over cash. It's, that's really all it takes.

Grant How much cash did you have when you got started? I mean, it wasn't a ton. Right?

Mark I start with $3,000. My buddy Durant's are $800. We think that, you know, 5000 is a is a really easy number. We have some clients who start with $500.

Grant So you really don't need a whole lot of cash is needed that commitment or that grip that that desire to move forward with it. Okay, very good. So, any other tips that you'd want to share with our listeners on on doing this?

Mark Well, if I were the listener, I would be thinking, well, Grant. It's so great. Why is Marc teaching it?

Grant That's gone through my mind. I mean, You're talking Yeah. 300% To 1,000% return.

Mark Right, right. So to answer the question, because when I started teaching that my wife asked me the same questions like, aren't you going to create your own competition? And it's a very valid question. So I started putting on my investment banker hat. And what's the first thing, investment banker looks at? How big is the market, and there are billions of acres of raw land available in the United States. And there is literally do you couldn't think of a more boring niche, like you could go on HGTV or the DIY Network and think, Oh, I'm gonna watch flip this land. The before pictures are all in the after pictures are all in. Plus, there's no hedge funds, there's no private equity groups. So you meet a million people can be in this niche, will all run out of money, before we run out of deal flow.

Grant Plenty of opportunity for sure. So is some of this sort of altruistic in terms of you know, you want to give back, you want to see others sort of experience some of the same benefits you have is, is there a component to that that's driven yet to create these systems?

Mark I mean, that really is my, my purpose, honestly, because, you know, buying and selling land is great. It's helped five people, really, my family. Yeah, that being said, nobody ever bought a piece of land for me, you know, called me and said, Mark, you changed my life with this land investment, but being able to help people retire their spouses, so they could spend more time with their children, being able to have people replace their income, and really get out of what I call so economic dependency, which means that they're personally not working. They're not making any money, so that they can move up Maslow's hierarchy of needs, into self actualization, and solve not just their money problems, but their time problems, to explore their highest purpose in life. That has been the most gratifying thing for me, professionally. And I absolutely love waking up to that idea every day.

Grant This is the "why" of your journey. Right there. That last sentence, isn't it? Yeah, it's helping them to get out of that solo economic dependency for sure. You had mentioned at one point, or I saw when I was doing some reviews on you, five reasons you should be creative, Pat, you should be creating passive income in raw land. What are those five reasons?

Mark The first reason is, it's just so simple. All you got is a piece of land and a buyer and a seller. So you know, juxtapose that to like, say multifamily, where you've got to raise millions of dollars, you have to get private capital, you have to get investors, you could spend a million dollars just on due diligence alone. So it's just a much simpler way to go. The other issue is there's just no headaches, nobody's calling you up at three in the morning saying my land is leaking. So you get to go to bed every night, knowing that you don't have to deal with the typical headaches of real estate, tenants, termites, toilets, that kind of thing. So you know, another reason would be that it cash flows. So why not have this passive income come in, and get total freedom in life. So you can work when you want, where you want, and with whom you want. I think another reason is just that there's no limit to it. So you can grow as big or, you know, you can get to a point where you kind of like the Mexican fishermen, you have enough type of thing. And then I just think the other reason, it's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. And it's not building another job for you, yourself if you just automate it. And I think that's great.

Grant Yeah, yeah, that is great. It's interesting that you found this niche. I love how you described it. It's narrow and yet very deep, you become very specialized in this. That's awesome. Mark. Thanks for taking the time with us today. Any final comments or tips you want to share with our listeners?

Mark I always love this quote from Zig Ziglar. If you'll do for the next three to five years, what other people won't do, you'll be able to do for the rest of your life. What other people can't do.

Grant That's a very enabling. I love that for sure. Gosh, that's awesome. Mark. Thanks for taking the time, "The Land Geek". I appreciate you doing this. And everyone thanks for listening to another episode of Financial Investing Radio. And until next time, check out thelandgeek.com

Check out this episode!

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financialinvestingradio · 2 years ago

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FIR 156: Real Estate Returns Too Good To Be True? The Land Geek...