#Lite Work

[miscelliteeous]

Thinking about The Unknown in an unwarranted way like,

The thought of an unhuman abomination that’s forced itself into a human skin, stretching the bounds of what that skin can withstand to its very limit, a completely unknowable entity that’s impossible to understand because it’s so alien to our brains. But what if, despite everything about it seeming off and wrong, it falls for someone?

Some helpless little survivor, being courted by this thing that is trying and failing to pretend to be human. Being dragged along on “dates” where it tries to forcibly swallow Dwight whole. Given unidentifiable chunks of meat as strange presents. Getting gargled and strained declarations of “tell my… I love them” and “help me…” when it’s feeling strangely needy.

You can’t shake it, even being near the fire only leads to it whining and pleading in an almost recognizable voice for you to “come back, don’t leave me, please…” When you do finally give in, you’re pinned with its twisted limbs caressing your face, smearing the blood and unidentifiable juices from prior victims over your lips in what can only be seen as a sign of affection.

The Unknown probably doesn’t even know itself why it is feeling this way, a lack of an urge to consume you in any way that is usually meaningful to it, the feeling is just as alien to The Unknown as The Unknown is to you. The entity’s realm warps those who enter in mysterious and often small and unpredictable ways, and this is one of them.

[nightmarewritings]

Tedward blep!

[my-death-trip]

[miscelliteeous]

I know I'm very late to this but I wanted to try my hand at it too!

New self ship game! Draw your self ship as Sanrio characters!

[gin-juice-tonic]

thinking about the time as a kid I fell asleep playing pokemon ranger on my ds lite and the DS did not die that entire 8 hours i was asleep

[bacchuschucklefuck]

dreaming abt sophomore year class swap bard!riz

[stagefoureddiediaz]

We’ve been looking at this all wrong the entire time...

So my brain is a weird place that I don’t fully understand, but sometimes it connects dots and I figure something out that has been staring us in the face the entire time! Lets just say it explains so many things - right down to the very pointed use of tommy calling Buck Evan!

This all stemmed from me looking at colour theory and costuming for Buck and Eddie (and by extension Tommy) season 7 again, because I was going to try write the buddie costume metas for episodes 9 and 10 that I never managed to get done before we started season 8 I will hopefully get to those posts, but this post - while technically about Tommy and his costumes (yes me ant Tommy person writing a post on him I know!) it does also look at the costuming for Buck and to a lesser extent Eddie more widely across the season and what the colours used actually mean - getting some distance and some time on the season has been a blessing!

Im not going to go into it in detail, but, broadly speaking the show has given each character a signature colour - this doesn’t mean they wear it all of the time - but they do wear it a lot of the time and especially in key scenes - characters can have more than one key/ signature colour, and it can change and develop over time. We can ignore season 1 because it was a pilot season and very often shows won’t choose to establish a signature colour for a character (911 s1 is all over the place from a costuming perspective - because they had several designers working across the 10 episodes but since s2 we’ve had much more continuity with Alayna Bell-Price at the helm for most of it). So for example Athena’s signature colour is mostly black with white and khaki green also in the mix. She’s moved away from that subsequently - wearing less black and more white/creams but both colours are still staples of her wardrobe.

Eddie we all know mirrors Athena from a costuming perspective - his signature colours are also black and khaki green with some white/cream as well. The khaki green was much more dominant than the black to begin with - which played into his military past -  that had evened out on the black and khaki front whilst the cream had stayed fairly steady, but now we’re also starting to see a little bit more of it as well as some darker blues. this mirrors Athenas own journey t healing - the more she heals the less Khaki we see and the more white/cream - Eddie is starting to follow the same path from a costume perspective. 

Bucks signature colour has always been blue, but he also wears a fair amount of yellow and grey, so those are his three colours. He obviously wears a lot of other colours, especially white, but white has its own specific use in Bucks costumes that sits separately from his signature colours. 

We all know about yellow/ blue and green blue colour theory - I’ve gone on about it enough (especially yellow blue colour theory and its queer coding) and others such as @lover-of-mine have as well. Well both yellow/blue and green/blue continued to play out in season 7, I’m not going to go into them in too much detail - there are posts on my pinned post that cover that much better and I want to get to the good stuff (and I know you all do too!) 

We do need to remember that Buck and Eddie very very rarely wear blue and green in scenes together - if Eddie is in green Buck won’t be in blue, and vice versa - this is because of the ties to blue/green being Buck and Eddies break up colours - the colours they wear opposite their respective girlfriends when the relationships are ending. This is a little less set for Eddie - who actually wears white/cream much more when he’s ending relationships than blue or green - but the one time he has actively done the breaking up he was in green.

As I was starting to do a bit of work on the 7x9 and 7x10 metas, I ended up going back and looking over the Buck and Eddie costumes for the season as a whole, and how Tommy fit into all of that as well - as we’ve all been billing him as Eddie lite.

While I do still think there is an element of Tommy being Eddie lite, I don’t actually think that is what the show has been doing -that concept is a bit of a red herring. I’m sorry that this is likely to get a bit convoluted and wordy - but my brain is  still reeling and incoherent so bear with me - I hope it all makes sense.

Right this post is super long so the rest is going below the cut! I hope you enjoy!

Because I was looking for Eddie and Tommy parallels in the costuming for the season, I had been looking at the choice to put Eddie in red/black for his dinner date with Kim and Buck being in green for the scene at Bucks loft, and the fact that back in 7x04 Tommy had been dressed in the same colours - a red henley which was shot with black giving it a red/black colour way. I naturally started looking at the other Eddie - Tommy costume parallels - and there are plenty - lots of the khaki green we see Eddie in - playing into Tommys own military background.

These are Tommy’s scenes - where he wasn’t in uniform of some description (which is a good chunk of his scenes to be fair) 

7x04 

at the hangar - white tee, greenish stone coloured shirt and a tan jacket with stonewash jeans

at the court - light grey marl cut off hoodie and bright blue shorts

at Bucks loft - red/black short sleeve henley and stone wash jeans

7x05

at the restaurant -dark khaki green shirt (I would also like to point out the blue green colour theory here with the addition of tommy having a blue phone case - which is relevant later I promise!)

coffee meet up - light grey henley and navy blue hoodie with mid wash jeans

7x06

karaoke club - navy blue short sleeved henley

7x10

light grey marl tee and greenish denim shirt 

So what you can see from this is that besides the use of henley’s, the only time we get actually get direct reference to Eddies costuming is through the use of khaki green and his first outfit at the hangar. There is of course the direct parallel of the red/black colour way I spoke of before, but, beyond that if you look you’ll see that Tommys outfits actually parallel Bucks far far more. I would even argue the Henley’s are more similar to Buck than Eddie - because they are short sleeved and Eddies are invariably long sleeved.

Bucks colours are blue and grey - and so are Tommy’s - particularly in scenes that are 1-1 with Buck. What I’m trying to get at and will explain is that this has never ever been about Tommy being Eddie lite - this is all about Tommy being Buck - Buck’s subconscious if you will. (I know you all this I’m completely mad at this point - but stick with me!) I have a lot to say about all of this which will explain the why of it all and how we ended up here so we’re going to go through it Tommy costume by Tommy costume!

Lets start with the hangar scene - the most Eddie like Tommy looks throughout the entire season. this is very much intentional - this is about the red herring of it all, but it is also about Eddie (I’m not discrediting anything we’ve talked about regarding Tommy being Eddie lite etc - it is all relevant - but that’s what makes it such a good red herring!) and about Buck being an unreliable narrator. This is in part why we also still see Buck in his too short trousers and his white sneakers. This is his journey (the sneakers), but he’s still trapped in his old self at this moment in time - but aware that he doesn’t fit his skin anymore (as an aside I will be writing a post about Bucks trousers and their changing fit throughout the seasons at some point soon!)

Script wise the key lines are plentiful - the entire scene is full of double meaning. We get Buck stating that he is ‘happy where he’s at’ and Tommy’s response of ‘you’re thinking of changing things up’. viewed through the idea that Tommy is a version of Buck, this then plays out as an internal conflict - a battle about wanting what you already have - being happy with what you have, but also wanting to change things.

Eddie saying ‘you aren’t thinking of leaving us are you’ and Bucks response ‘I’m keeping my options fluid.’ Eddie needing reassurance that what they have isn’t going to change, while Bucks reply is about him not really being sure of himself - of who he is - keeping his options open because he’s figuring out if he wants to change - the line is said to and directed at Eddie so its about Buck keeping his options open about possibly changing their dynamic - becoming something more, even in the face of Eddie not wanting things to be different.  Tommy stating in this scene that Buck doesn’t need to leave the 118 to get certified to fly - that its something he could do for fun on his days off - becomes even more loaded through the internal monologue lens - Buck considering how he can stay at the 118 and have the joy, fun and benefits of ‘flying’ when he isn’t at work - that he could fly with Eddie (Eddie going flying with Tommy to do something fun and date like is a very literal visual metaphor for Bucks internal monologue - showing him what it could be like if he changed things up). There not being three tickets - only two is also important - its again a metaphor this time about how if Buck and Eddies relationship changes - it would only change for the two of them - it would become a relationship that doesn’t have room for another in it. When I say that’s about Chris not being involved it sounds really harsh, but the reality is Chris cannot be a a part of Buddie - he cannot be a part of something romantic. it isn’t saying Chris isn’t important or central to Buck and Eddie - simply that he cannot be a factor in a romantic relationship - that has to be just between Buck and Eddie alone - its kind of about Eddie (and also to a certain extent the same is true for Buck) not being able to hide behind Chris anymore when it comes to Buck.

Fundamentally its all tied back to his death in season 6 (we even get the being struck by lightening reference from Buck just to bring that aspect home) and subsequent resurrection and rebirth  (post linked on my pinned post if anyone wants to read it!). we have to keep at the front of our minds that Buck has died and that is still playing on his mind - its still influencing who he is and who he is becoming and it was all throughout season 7 - even if it wasn’t obvious or stated.

The basketball costume is actually the one that has always stood out for me - Its the most Buck outfit of all Tommys outfits. The bright blue shorts especially. 

So in that scene, which we know is supposed to read as being from Bucks view point, not only are we getting golden haloed super happy bouncy Eddie - Eddie the way Buck sees him -  but Buck is also projecting and seeing Tommy in the place he (Buck) has always existed in. It’s a visual representation of what Buck talked about with Maddie and Tommy replacing him in Eddies life.  Its unreliable narrator buck in visuals he’s seeing Eddie replacing him with Tommy - occupying the same places Buck has and more - from the calendar to the basketball court.

But that’s actually wonderful, because not only does it give us information on how Buck views himself (as expendable/replaceable) and how he thinks others view him - because if he thinks he’s similar to Tommy (which for a purely visual stand point he is - Lou looks more like Oliver than Ryan) but it also gives us information about the reality of how much Buck is actually intwined in Eddies (and Christophers) life - its telling us that Buck is in fact on Eddies calendar (and therefore fridge - fridge magnet theory for the win!) and how much space and conversation he occupies in the Diaz’s everyday life.

So he isn’t actually seeing Eddie in Tommy at all - he’s actually seeing the version of himself he doesn’t think he is but wants to be in Tommy. The version of himself that takes Eddie to vegas etc - that’s the Buck that Buck wants to be - the one openly flirting with Eddie and taking him on dates etc. That’s why the vegas fight is so seemingly ott (especially when you think about the fact Tommy and Eddie have known each other a week or so at most by this point) its the grand gesture Buck wishes he could be making.

All of this also makes Bucks ‘attack on Eddie’ more telling (it’s still the boy pulling the girl he likes pig tails in the playground concept) because Eddie is being receptive to all of these advances by Tommy - adding further weight to the Buck being jealous of and threatened by Tommy. 

Tommy is this version of Buck swooping in and doing all this stuff that Buck wants to be doing (subconsciously still at this point - willful ignorance be winning) but either didn’t know how to or didn’t know Eddie if would be receptive to. Remembering that this is all Bucks viewpoint of things its essentially Bucks brain showing him what dating Eddie would be like and Buck being Buck misunderstands what his brain is telling him (forever misunderstanding the assignment).

There is a second aspect to this and it ties into Tim’s comments about the hamster wheel Buck has a been stuck on and it being time he got off it - the hamster wheel is actually multifaceted and has more than one meaning. The most important is that the hamster wheel hasn’t ever been about his relationships or about the women he’s dating (or men now). The hamster wheel he’s stuck on is actually the fact that he’s built this strong relationship and family with Eddie and Chris - (you don’t find it son you make it) and its something safe and stable and predictable in his life. Getting off that hamster wheel is about being brave and moving that relationship - that family dynamic onto the next level - removing the platonic aspect of their family and making it a fully formed family for real - romantic love and all - so the ‘platonic’ family is the hamster wheel he actually needs to get off of. 

The other aspect of Tommy actually being Buck and the hamster wheel of it all is that hamster wheels are solitary pursuits - the implication is that Buck is the one standing in his own way - and coming back to the basketball game we see that played out in the moment where Buck tries to literally run through Tommy - only you can’t act out at yourself, and Tommy is a literal solid unmoving barrier and Buck won’t get past himself by just trying to bulldoze his way through.

This all then plays into the final Buck and Tommy scene of the episode - in bucks loft. I already spoke above about the red/black of it all, but now with the added concept of Tommy being A version of Buck things start to become more interesting. The red/black of it all is a warning (and the poker date red/black velvet suit and eddies red and black suit from s6 actually play into this as well!) - its dark romance - ‘forbidden’ dangerous romance or love. So for Eddie and his date with Kim that meaning is very self explanatory. The two season 6 suits are also fairly self explanatory - for Eddie again its the dangers of looking for romance that isn’t on your own terms and for Buck at the poker game its about the danger of falling in love with the person you are when you aren’t being truly yourself. Tommy being a version of Buck and this concept is a little more murky - essentially is about a similar thing to his poker suit - with a twist - its about the danger of seeing more value and loving a version of yourself that ‘used to exist’ as well as a version of yourself that you think will make you more attractive to others.

We do also need to Talk about Bucks costume here as well - the fact that it fits him almost perfectly - he’s in well fitted if slightly loose jeans and a navy shirt that isn’t tight with buttons not clinging on for dear life (to the same extent). The colouring is still on the dark side - so its not entirely positive - much in the same way that other scenes with buck in a dark navy shirt are moments where things go a bit askew for Buck (think the  taylor ‘I kinda love you for it’ scene from s5 as an example). The implication is that - before Tommy comes along Buck is at his most content with who he is - he’s fitting into his skin better than he has in a long while but it’s not perfect. This is key, firstly because of how the scene unfolds and secondly, because of how he is then costumed from here on out for the rest of the season.

I do also want to mention the yellow blue colour coding in this scene and that is mostly done through the lighting - Buck is in blue and the light behind him is always yellow - he is surrounded by yellow light. In contrast - Tommy is barely touched by the yellow light - not until Buck starts to figure things out - then we get him briefly touched by the yellow light - the rest of the time he is lit very cooly - which is in contrast to the warmth of the loft - and further plays into the idea of Tommy being a stand in for Evan - Evan who isn't loved and accepted in the same way Buck is - Evan who Buck needs to learn to love.

If we look at the script for this scene, it also fits in perfectly with the idea of Bucks internal monologue.  Tommy and Eddie being ‘buddie’s’ making perfect sense is a literal aside to the audience telling them that Buddie makes perfect sense - but it is more than that. This is where I have to bring up the ‘Evan’ of it all. I know a lot of us shudder with horror because of the fact Tommy only ever calls Buck ‘Evan’ and how both jarring and rude it is. How it shows how little Tommy knows Buck. We’ve always known it was being done intentionally. Well, if we view the use of Evan through the lens of Tommy being a version of Buck and things become clearer.  Because Tommy is basically the old version of Buck - the Buck who existed before he knew Eddie - before he joined the 118. And this is where the choice to bring back Tommy specifically for this role becomes a really smart one - because ‘Evan call me Buck Buckley’ was Tommys replacement at the 118. Tommy who has a problematic past that has never been dealt with on screen. This isn’t about the nature of the problematic past. This is the show playing on the idea of Buck’s software upgrades - before Buck 1.0 there was Evan, and using who Buck replaced at the 118 as a plot device to actually dig into Evan more so that Buck can deal with, accept and move on from Evan and become who Buck is meant to be.

Tommy saying he couldn’t replace Buck furthers this - because Buck cannot go back to being Evan - Evan can never replace Buck. invoking Christopher adds weight to this - because Chris never knew Evan - he’s only ever known Buck and Buck is ‘his Buck’ and irreplaceable. Tommy then stating his jealousy is about Evan feeling the lack of family that he grew up with - the recognition that as Buck he has made a family for himself - Bucks assertion that Tommy (Evan) was a part of it is valid - because without Evan Buck couldn’t build the family he has. The entirety of this conversation is about Buck choosing to ‘get to know’ his past (remember this is coming of the back of Buck crossing out the ‘LEY’ on his nameplate in s6 and his struggles with his parents acceptance in that season before the lightening strike), choosing to learn about Evan and embrace him as a part of Buck.  

Bucks assertion that he was ‘trying to get [Tommys] attention and it being exhausting’ is part of that as is the confusion Tommy expresses. The choice for Buck to use the word ‘exhausting’ - it’s Bucks subconscious trying to get his own attention - its his subconscious telling Buck that he’s exhausting himself by not listening to what his inner voice is saying. It’s of course a play on Buck being called exhausting by other people (and is perhaps why he doesn’t have the confidence to listen to that inner voice) and that also plays into the Evan of it all and how Buck views himself. Tommys confusion also plays into that - bucks own mind is confused - it was getting ready to ‘pursue’ Eddie but now we’re pivoting into what is essentially self love.

The continued bringing up of Eddie also makes sense with the contact of Tommy being alt Buck - because Eddie Eddie Eddie fills Bucks heart and mind - Both Evan and Buck recognise Eddies importance if not his full relevance in this moment. The resulting kiss then becomes less about Bucks bi awakening (I am not diminishing the importance of that in any way shape or form - its a vital aspect of Bucks journey) and more about Bucks decision to pursue loving himself - this ties into his statement ‘it wasn’t about me wanting to leave the 118 - it was about wanting to get to know you’ - its about Buck wanting to get to know himself - on the other side of his death and resurrection. It’s a continuation of his comments about Natalia ‘seeing him perhaps better than he sees himself’ - it’s about Buck starting to see himself better now he’s died and essentially been reborn and bout Buck now being in a place where he feels ready to confront that idea of being reborn and becoming someone new.

At the restaurant in 7x05 we have Tommy in an Eddie colour, but in a shirt that is much more Bucks style. There is also the green/blue colour play with Tommy stating Buck isn’t ready and Tommys ‘mismatched’ clothing bears that up - the play is on Bucks lingering confusion and uncertainty about what he wants - is it the Eddie side of things we’re pursuing the self love of Evan aspect we’re looking to explore? The entire scene is not just about Bucks first ‘date with a dude’ its also about Bucks fumbled attempts at self love - at not getting it right - its why Bucks outfit doesn’t fit him- why they’re now too big and baggy (I wrote about this in my costume meta for that episode - which like all the other costume posts can be found linked on my pinned post).  The innuendo about closets and Buck going into masculine bro mode is as much about his nervousness about being on a date with Tommy and being seen as it is about the fact that a man practicing self love is still taboo and so often met with derision - hiding that you are pursuing that is a kin to hiding queerness - at the start - until you get to a good place with it.

We side step into the Buck and Eddie loft scene briefly to look at Bucks confession to Eddie - I could write a whole thing on Eddies acceptance of Buck and its importance - but that is for a different post that isn’t already a million words long! what I want to mention in this scene is the why Buck can’t stop thinking about Tommy of it all - how it is essentially establishing the idea that Buck is starting to listen to himself.  He can’t stop thinking about Tommy because it isn’t Tommy he can’t stop thinking about it’s actually himself - Evan - in a learning to love himself and embrace who he is and was kind of way - all being done through a bi lens. it is essentially about Buck doing the thing he needs to do to be ready for a forever relationship with Eddie - which is love and accept himself - all of himself and acknowledging that to Eddie.

Buck switches back to better fitting clothes for the coffee date - and tommy is now dressed back in Buck colours and no trace of anything resembling Eddie in sight - making it clear that Buck has chosen to pursue himself. To get himself to the place he needs and wants to be first - the line about not knowing what it is he’s ready for but being ready for something is key - its a very self love line, but it also puts a very clear time frame on things - it makes it clear that Tommy is not endgame - because Bucks choosing self love and embracing and understanding ‘Evan’ isn’t his end game but a part of his bigger journey - a part of becoming who he needs to be to achieve what he actually wants - to get him to his endgame.

Then we have the Karaoke - brief scene(s). There isn’t really a huge amount in these scenes. But I do want to point out two things - the awkwardness of Buck and Tommys hug - and how that plays into the tentative nature of Bucks self love journey - and also Eddies behaviour towards Tommy - and the way it was very very clearly a lot cooler than we saw in 7x04.

We all jumped on the Petty Eddie train - and I agree there is an element of that. But - there is also the fact we are not seeing that scene through Bucks eyes - its through external eyes and we are therefore seeing the actual reality of Eddie and Tommys friendship - in that it isn’t this heightened date like - flirty new love type relationship - its simply two people who are loosely friends. Its remarkably normal and no threatening - only furthering the entire purpose of 7x04 being from Bucks viewpoint and Tommy being an alt Buck rather than an alt Eddie. It also therefore serves to further establish the Buddie of it all (but we all already knew that!). Tommy is still in Buck colours and the short sleeved henley is still something I would put more into the Buck costume camp than the Eddie one - especially in this season! 

The final Tommy scene and costume is the date at Bucks loft and the conversation about daddy kink. I still don’t like this scene (which has a lot more to do with execution and the script than the actual daddy kink of it all) but I am much more sanguine about it now that I understand what it is setting up.

Bear with me here I probably won’t make sense, but with the knowledge that Tommy is actually buck lite - a less good and developed version buck (Evan and in part the version of Buck that Buck himself thinks he is) the daddy kink scene actually becomes about setting up Buck addressing his past and his actual real daddy issues - because bucks past self sees his worth in those issues and without them it means both Evan and Buck have no worth. Buck confronting and dealing with them and choosing to forgive and move on means the end of Buck and Tommy because Tommy is no longer needed - he has served his purpose and Buck would be ready to start his future - Evan stays in the past and Buck completes his rebirth and closes his lightening strike arc.

Onto Bucks season 8 journey - Bringing Gerrard in to Bucks arc rather than the others who have far more connection to Gerrard now begins to make much more sense. Tommys past under Gerrard actually echoes Bucks past - in different ways and to vastly different degrees, but the parallel is there.  S1 Buck being a play boy and sleeping around and not treating women especially well (objectifying them etc) because of his own hang ups - is a pale echo of Tommy being closeted and racist sexist and homophobic under Gerrard. Like I said before - Buck is a pale imitation to Tommy here and that’s intentional (more in a sec) because once Tommy is under the wing of Bobby when he takes over the 118 we see him begin to grow and change. Buck follows the same pattern - Bobbys guidance pulls him away from his destructive behaviours and sets him onto the right path (Bobby is arguably the birther of Buck - Look I could write a whole thing off the back of my death and resurrection of Buck post about Bobbys role as God - the heavenly father - in Bucks life and how that is the overarching theme of Bobby and the show but I don’t have the time tbh!) to ‘redemption’.

Bucks behaviour is very intentionally not as bad as Tommys behaviour, because if Tommy is the plot device meant to essentially represent Bucks subconscious and how he views himself, then the reason we haven’t been shown Tommy atoning for any of his past sins and behaviours is because Buck hasn’t forgiven himself for his own. Buck is his own worst critic and will self flagellate to a ridiculous degree - and again with him being an unreliable narrator - he views his past indiscretions as being the equivalent of Tommys - therefore in his mind he hasn’t yet done enough to deserve absolution (Buck and Bobby being father and son in this as well!). 

Which brings me to s8 and the return of Gerrard and what Bucks arc is going to be (this is slightly incoherent and not fully formed - I’m still percolating!). Gerrard being central to Bucks arc - and Bucks push back is imo going to be about Buck taking a good look at himself and recognising/ facing up to and accepting his past. And that actually does come down to the daddy issues of it all. Because if Bobby is as good as Bucks dad - and allowed him (and his subconscious in the form of Tommy) to develop and grow - then Gerrard is Phillip Buckley (obviously a heightened more terrible version of reality in the same way Tommy is a much worse version of Buck) who parented Evan through apathy and taking the easy route - we saw Evan pushing back against Phillip in Buck Begins and being rewarded for it and thus establishing Bucks self destructive and self sacrificing pattern of behaviour. Acting out and getting hurt got him attention - so Buck acting out against Gerrard is this reduced and will ultimately have the same results just in an essentially more destructive way.  This is is a good thing - because this is about Buck recognising that he is worth and acting out etc is detrimental to him progressing as a person - its going to actively prevent his self love journey to flourish (and this is why in part I maintain my belief that Tommy is going to, if not encourage Bucks behaviour, then at least tell him to go along with Gerrard demands - for an easy life and also part of why I don’t think we’ll see a huge amount of Tommy - at least to begin with - until we get to a point where Buck is really motoring on the self love journey and getting to the point where he needs to do some pre break up face to face conversations that move him forward!).  It’s about forgiving and accepting his father for how Evan was raised - Bucks arc is going to be about forgiving himself and allowing himself to be happy, and he cannot do that if he doesn’t go through the Gerrard stuff - which is essentially a type of therapy. That’s also where I think the golf comes into it - it’s a metaphor for Buck building bridges, gaining understanding and accepting his past with his father - the metaphor of the driving range being the idea of standing side by side and performing the same thing, but landing in different places. There is also the concept of improving ones self and choosing to not repeat the mistakes of the past.

It also means the thing Tim said about Buck and Tommy becoming more comfortable with one another makes much more sense, and why he’d flip the question to talk about Eddie and about Eddie feeling a bit left out in the cold but not out in the cold! Buck is becoming more comfortable with himself and while he’s doing that and learning to be happy etc as I described above. Eddie is going to feel left out - because this is about Buck not Eddie - because it’s about Buck being ready for forever with Eddie - and Eddie ultimately cannot be a part of that journey - Buck has to do it for himself in the same way that Buck cannot help or be there while Eddie goes through his reckoning with the Catholic Church, and faiths place in his life and also dealing with the ghost of Shannon and his mother issues(because he has those and they are all set up to go in s8 - Chris being in Texas really sets that up nicely!

Bahaha Tim I’ve finally figured out your question answering methods and how they tell us all we need to know!! 

All this to say - Tommy is actually alt Buck - not Eddie lite (I mean he is still also that but it’s a bit of a red herring) he is a plot device for the biggest thing about Buck as a character and it all means Buddie here we come!

Thank you so so much if you have read this epic piece of waffle - I hope you enjoyed and I truly look forward to hearing all your thoughts on this and to you being as insane about it as I am!

Tagging some people who asked (and some who didn’t but might be interested anyway!)

@spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @lover-of-mine @fruityfirehose @leothil

@bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @theladyyavilee @livingwherethesidewalkends @craigyxo

@izzysbeans @buddiediaz118 @inell @hotshotsxyz @winterskydragonx

[nordsea-horizons]

codes im looking at👀 for my new grandmacore island(and just spring codes i guess🌸)🍃✨✨

[bodhrancomedy]

It ‘tis official.

My switch controls are so busted I can’t play Zelda Tears of the Kingdom anymore.

[interdimensionalhellscapeportal]

Obviously this sketch is from an AU where he grew up with regular dental care and also the ability to smile without Vibes of Impending Doom

[ishizizzle]

What break up lol

[miscelliteeous]

SO it turns out I have even more thoughts on him than I realized, like I wrote 14k words about him and I still have so much more to say so here’s some headcanons that didn’t really fit anywhere. NOT WORKSAFE, but this covers a wide range of topics, with the nsfw stuff being only like 1/4th of them.

Adam Frankenstein Headcanons

- General:

He’s a stew guy, like that’d be his go-to meal if he could have it. He likes that no matter what it always tastes a little different than the last time and how easily it can be modified with different ingredients plus it warms him and makes him feel cared for.

Gets cold easily and gets colder than most people can handle, though he still prefers to be wrapped up in something warm.

His voice is deep and can vary between gravelly and raspy, though it gets a tiny bit higher when he’s upset or extremely passionate about something.

Tends to mutter under his breath and talk to himself a little when he’s working on figuring out something complicated.

He can be a bit impulsive and it often bites him in the ass, but he’s working on it.

Has absolutely NO care for looking how men are expected to look at that time in society.

His hair gets very poofy and wavy when it’s taken out of a wet braid.

He has thin skin, and though he heals relatively quickly, he also scars very easily and bleeds easily too.

Will read anything and everything he can get his hands on. He wants to learn about the world as much as possible.

His favorite fiction genre is romance, and he likes big, toxic all-consuming romances and thinks they’re the height of romance. He’s a Heathcliff stan (hey, he’s gotta have SOME bad qualities, am I right?).

Not the best at singing, can’t really stay on tune, but he enjoys singing when happy and alone. Gets very embarrassed if caught.

Animals either adore him or despise him, there is no in-between.

Has a habit of slouching over when standing, to seem just a little shorter.

Feels emotions very intensely. He’s never just sad, he’s devastated, he’s never just angry, he’s furious, he’s never just happy, he’s overjoyed. It’s something he’s working on.

- Romantic:

He has a habit of staring at the one he loves for a long time, blinking very minimally.

Adam doesn’t like to be far away from you, and will follow you around like a lost puppy.

Very much would prefer to have some part of him touching you at all times, usually handholding.

Takes him a while to get used to you touching him as opposed to him touching you, but once he does, he melts.

Braid his hair! It’s practical, its cute, it says fuck you to fashion trends of the time, and it’d make him smile. Braid! His! Hair!

Loves the idea of helping out with mundane tasks, like he’ll cook and sew and be so very gentle when brushing your hair.

Uses so many little terms of endearments, the more reverence they show to you the better. He wants you to know he puts you on a pedestal and practically worships you.

One thing that will piss him off quickly (unless you’ve maybe asked him to please hold back ahead of time) is someone insulting you. He’d be ready to go off on them in a scary way within seconds.

Ideal sleeping position: curled up around you like a pill-bug. He’s big enough that he can probably wrap his body entirely around you and would want to do that every night if he could. Horrible for both of your backs.

If you braid his hair (which you should!) he would want to braid yours in return if possible.

Tends to stand behind you when in public. Partially out of shyness, partially to serve as a warning to others to not fuck with you.

When he’s standing behind you in public? The slouch is GONE, he is eight feet of glaring intensity, like a pissed off lighthouse behind a tiny cottage.

Really doesn’t like anyone else touching you and would get a bit more clingy even if it was a purely platonic touch.

Honestly he’s very possessive. He’s found one person in the world who loves HIM, flaws and all, and he doesn’t want to risk losing you.

Tells you he loves you at least 4-5 times a day, including any time you leave a room he’s in.

- Sexual:

You know that image of the hamster eating a banana? You’re the hamster.

Massive, ridiculously large dick that’s still in proportion so it doesn’t look too crazy huge, but it’s still probably about 9-10 inches hard, 7-8 flaccid.

Absolutely aware of how big he is, and takes every step he can think of to make things easier, though it might still be tricky at first.

Adam prefers positions where he can see your face.

Very vocal, tries to hold back sometimes but fails, very loud.

Says anything that comes to his mind, most of which is just really over-the-top praise for you and how you make him feel.

He’s close to 400lbs of muscle, but very mindful of his body so that he doesn’t hurt you. Even if he lays on you he’d still be supporting himself mostly.

Not really fond of mirrors being involved. He’d love to see different angles of you, but himself? Not so much.

Thinks he’s going to die and ascend to heaven when he first gets a blowjob. Though he loves it, he prefers to give rather than receive, he wouldn’t want to hurt your jaw.

Not much aftercare the first time because he doesn’t know as much about it, but once he learns he’s a king.

Cleans you up, gives you a massage, water, holds you, praises you (even more!), makes sure you’re okay and that you enjoyed it too. He would melt if you do the same for him too.

- Familial/Paternal:

Ideally, he would have two children, he would love to be father to a boy and girl, but he would be happy with any amount or none at all and taking care of pets instead. He just wants to raise and care for something the way Victor never raised and cared for him.

So indecisive with names, like there’s so many good names he would want to use, he’d probably leave it mostly up to you.

The one name he’d really want to use? The second he hears the name Abigail means something like “my father is joyful” he jumps for it because that’s exactly how he feels about being a father.

So scared to hold the baby for a good while. He’s just so big and they’re so small and if he accidentally hurt them he’d never forgive himself.

Hovers around the baby though and still holds its little hand. As close as he can get without holding them.

Once he gets over that, he’s a very attentive father.

Very high chance any of his kids would have his black hair and some of his facial features. He’d hope they would have your eyes though.

Lets his kids climb all over him, pull his hair, swing on his arms, anything just as long as they don’t get hurt.

Very encouraging of them to explore and learn new things but also a bit of helicopter dad.

Torn between wanting to keep his kid/s safe from the world and wanting them to be able to do anything they set their mind to.

While not quite 8ft, I think any kids he would have would still grow to be a bit taller than average.

[nightmarewritings]

I'm not really back to taking requests, but I finished a fic and figured this would be a good place to share it too! It's for the game Outlast, and is a Richard Trager/reader f/m fic.

This fic is NOT Worksafe and contains mild blood, dubious consent, and sex.

The People Pleaser

It was dark, you had lost track of everything; your phone, your flashlight, even your glasses had become lost not long ago. Hell, the only other safe person you had met in this hellhole, an equally terrified man clutching a camera, had no choice but to leave you while the two of you were chased down opposite hallways, though he promised to come back and find you, that was before you got lost, before you passed through the twisting corridors and blocked off staircases.

You couldn’t see anything in the darkness, your hand tapped along the wall beside you, hoping to not somehow wind up more lost than you already were. It had been a while since you last heard anyone near you, as if the danger had passed, but you remained vigilant.

It would only take the tiniest slip up to be caught, to be tortured and gutted and eaten or any manner of other horrible fates. But that wasn’t going to be you. As terrified as you were, you were a survivor, you told yourself. You would live. You would live. You would live. You repeated it over and over, hoping to steel your nerves and fill yourself with determination. You weren’t quite sure it was working, but you didn’t exactly have any other options.

Light slowly began to appear as you continued on, you paused for a moment when you noticed movement ahead, but a strange sense of relief passed over you. They were strapped to beds, squirming in pain and agony, but a part of you was just glad they weren’t trying to rip you apart too. You had to get out of the asylum, being chased for as long as you had been was having a clear effect.

Taking a deep breath, steeling your nerves, you walked past them, keeping your eyes locked dead ahead. Some struggled, some screamed, some could do nothing but scream. Pain was starting to stab its way into your brain, an unfortunate side effect of your eyes straining to see without your glasses. A promise was made; when you got home, you would order a spare pair.

Home. The thought made you smile. Though you had only been in the asylum for likely a few hours at the most, it felt like it had been days. In hindsight, agreeing to pick up a friend from his security job was a bad idea, but you had always been somewhat of a pushover and a people pleaser. No use in dwelling on it. Now, the only thing on your mind was survival. You even briefly considered picking up a weapon, but most things that seemed as if they could work were all either too heavy or already in use.

A sound clattered forth from somewhere to your right and you jumped, clutching your, now sadly ripped and stained, cardigan tightly in your grasp. It appeared as if one of the unfortunate patients had managed to kick over a metal tray. You breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that you were still safe.

“I swear, you can’t get any peace and quiet around here, if it’s not one thing, it’s another!”

A voice, surprisingly calm despite the circumstances, came from behind you, right as a hand grabbed your shoulder, spinning you around to face him. You couldn’t get a good look at him, he was just a tall blur, but from the way he paused, you had a feeling he was getting a very good look at you.

Despite the circumstances, you could feel your racing heartbeat slow somewhat. He didn’t sound dangerous, though you knew that was hardy an indicator of safety, and he wasn’t instantly trying to rip your guts out.

“When I heard someone running around here, I didn’t think it’d be a pretty thing like yourself. C’mon, it’s dangerous out there, you stick with me and you might keep your head on your shoulders.” He released his grip and his hand migrated down to your back, continuing lower until it stopped right on the small of your back. He pushed gently, guiding you along. “Though, you’ve been wandering around like it’s already been cut off, what’s the deal with that?”

True, you didn’t exactly feel safe around him, but it was beginning to sink in that you really had no choice but to go along with him. A sniffle pushed its way out of you as you tried to speak, your voice hoarse from earlier screams. “M-My glasses… I dropped them somewhere up here, but it’s just so… so dark.”

“Lemme guess, can’t see without ‘em? What a shame, you’re really missing out on the scenery here, believe me.”

His joke wasn’t all that funny, but you laughed politely anyway. You walked with him, fully aware that every step would only result in your becoming even more lost in the labyrinthine halls, and you didn’t exactly expect him to show you the way out.

Soon, the two of you reached a room, more brightly lit than the ones you had passed through, though the light held no comfort as it illuminated the copious amount of blood splattered throughout.

“You tired? Just hop up on that bed, take a rest.” He didn’t even bother letting you try to climb up, not that you would have if you had a choice, instead he leaned down and scooped you up, placing you exactly where he wanted you to go. Before you could even begin to protest, your legs were strapped down. “Just a little insurance, can’t have you running off again or bumbling around and knocking shit over.”

“Wait, what? That’s not fair!” You knew something wasn’t right, that it was a stupid idea to trust him, your optimism had always been as much a curse as it was a blessing.

“Relax, I’m not gonna hurt you. Well, maybe a little, we’ll see how the night goes. Truth is, I’m a bit rusty, it’s been a while since I last got to wine and dine, and this isn’t exactly Dorsia, but old habits die hard, and it's been too long since I last saw a pretty face.” As he continued muttering, mostly to himself, he turned away from you and headed towards a table, where he lifted something up. You weren’t sure what it was, but your heart began to race as every possible, horrible, painful option passed through your mind. You closed your eyes, if he was going to cause you pain, you didn’t want to watch.

Instead, you felt something very familiar, the feeling of your glasses being slid on. Your eyes snapped back open. Aside from slight smudges, your vision was restored, the persistent blur was gone, and now you saw the man in front of you. You liked him much better with your glasses off.

“There we go, with your glasses on you look almost too cute for surgery, maybe you could be my little nurse instead? Or maybe, maybe you could be something a bit more.” His voice was low, barely above a whisper, and his hands closed around your thighs, clamping them down to the table. “I’ve had all sorts of girls in all sorts of places, but you’d be my first in here.” His grip tightened, and you knew it would be best to go along with whatever he said. You would live.

You gave him a nod, and he removed his hands from you, quickly turning around back towards the table. Good lord, was the whole asylum allergic to clothes? The question left your mind quickly, when you saw him raise a pair of rusty shears. "Lemme help you out of those clothes, buddy."

“Wait! I can just take it off, okay? Let me keep my clothes intact, and I'll.. do what you want.” You tilted your face up towards his, batting your eyelashes and playing at everything you could think of to help you live through the night with all your limbs intact.

“You drive a hard bargain, shredding that shirt would do the world a favor, but alright. Let’s see what you’ve got.” Though he didn’t place the shears down immediately, he did cross his arms and take a step away from you, giving you room.

The cardigan fell away first. Your fingers trembled as you undid each button, slowly revealing more of yourself to the man in front of you. The shirt fell to the side softly, barely hanging on the rusty, blood-stained bed and leaving you vulnerable. His eyes didn't leave your body for a second.

"You shouldn't be shaking, come on, buddy! I could've just left you out there alone with all those wackos, feeling around in the dark like a helpless little bunny. Don't you think you're much better off here?"

"Mister, I-I wouldn't feel safe in here even with a bazooka." Honestly, he didn't make you feel safe in the slightest. You had absolutely no doubt that he was responsible for the mutilated patients you passed in the hall, and his friendly demeanor only put you more on edge.

He laughed, it sounded as warm as everything that came out of his mouth. "That's a good point! Oh, and don't call me 'mister', makes me sound old. Call me 'Doctor Trager', or 'Rick'. 'Mister Trager' was my father." Another small chuckle came out, as if he was an actual licensed medical professional, you didn't believe that man had ever been to medical school.

The rest of your clothing soon went the way of your shirt, the release of your ankles from the straps helped, each discarded item of clothing only brought more interest, and increasingly lewd comments, from ‘Doctor’ Trager, making you wonder why he was taking his time. Did he really like the sound of his own voice that much?

“Not normally a leg guy, but you’ve got some grade A gams on you. I need a closer look, you understand, doctor’s orders.”

He climbed up on the bed, straddling your body. Your hands shot up to his chest, trying to push him back, but it was no use, he was stronger than he looked. Trager was close enough that you could see his face in all its torn ‘glory’, you hadn’t even noticed before that his lip had been partially torn off, the scars criss-crossing his head, or how deeply that lens was embedded in his eye. Before you could say anything, however, you were met with a very unwelcome intrusion, his fingers pushed their way past your lips and into your mouth. You could feel his nails scratching as he felt around, paying particular attention to your tongue. There was a copper taste in your mouth, and it dawned on you that Trager had not washed any of the old blood from his hands. It took all your willpower to not gag.

“That’s a good girl, warm and wet. Let’s get those legs of yours up and- nice, nice.” Your legs were wrapped around his waist, with only his stained apron between your bodies. His skin felt unusual, textured in a way unfamiliar to you. It was almost a blessing when he pulled his fingers out of your mouth and replaced them with his tongue, even despite the unpleasant scraping of his teeth against your skin, it beat hearing him chatter on.

You couldn’t help but feel your body respond to his touch as his hands roamed every bit of your exposed flesh, he did indeed seem to know his way around a body very well. Still, the thought that you were doing something wrong lingered in your brain, that you were taking your people pleasing, passive nature too far, that you needed to fight your way out of Mount Massive with a merciless fury or die trying.

But what you were doing seemed safer, easier, and it had kept you alive. If you had to let him have his way with you to survive, why not try and enjoy it? At least that way you would get something out of it beyond a good reason to see a therapist.

Like it or not, you were getting wet. Your body wanted him, and not just for his surprisingly skilled fingers moving over your skin. Maybe you could let yourself go, to give yourself over to him and forget about the horrors that surrounded you. His hands went to your hips, you could feel his fingernails dig into your skin. The kiss broke, and you were left with no choice but to hear the satisfied groan leave his ragged lips as he pushed his cock inside you.

"It's been too fucking long..." He muttered. Trager didn't even wait until he was fully inside you before he began to speed up, his hip bones slammed painfully against you, but he barely seemed phased.

His mouth moved down your neck, his teeth sank into your skin as he bit down, though he stopped before he drew blood, it still caused you to yelp. The friction of his movements against your insides sent shockwaves of pleasure through your body. He seemed to perfectly hit that bundle of nerves inside of you that your fingers couldn't reach, knocking little gasps out of your lips every time. You could feel his hot, wet breath on your neck and his heart pounding in his chest.

One of his hands left your hip and gripped your hair, forcing your head to tilt back. He stared into your eyes, watching them dart around as you tried to avoid making eye contact with him. "You look me in the eyes when you cum, got that?" You nodded, and he gave you a quick smile. "I can bet it won't be long now, not with how you're clamping down on me. You want this."

You wouldn't say it out loud, couldn't say it, but he was right. You did want it. Trager was making your body feel too good, better than it had any right to in the situation you were in. Your legs rubbed against his waist, pulling him closer despite the rational part of your brain still telling you it was wrong, he was dangerous, you shouldn't enjoy yourself with him. Perhaps you could rationalize it away as adrenaline? You had been chased around for hours prior, your body needed some release.

"Atta girl, nobody likes a cold fish." He teased you, and released your hair from his grasp. Instead, he maneuvered you around once more, bringing your legs up to his shoulders. You could feel his thrusts even deeper than before. The sensation was so intense, you wondered if you would be able to handle it, if you would break if he kept going.

Your breaths were coming faster and faster, your fingernails dug into your palms as you tried to keep yourself from cumming. That would only make it worse, make it harder, but you were desperate for it. "Let me help you there, buddy..." Trager said, and you felt his fingers against your clit. Like it or not, you knew he would make you cum.

You were right.

With a few quick circles of his finger, he sent you over the edge, your resolve shattering into a million pieces as waves of pleasure rolled through you. You kept your eyes open as best you could, locked on his like he wanted. He kept up his frantic thrusting, holding you tight as he worked your body through it, he could feel how tightly your cunt gripped him. "That's it, that's it!" Before you could even finish your own orgasm, he pushed himself as far inside you as he could, filling you with his own release.

He pulled out and watched his semen ooze from you and puddle underneath your body. "You're on the pill, right?" He asked, though it was much too late for that question. You gave a noncommittal shrug.

"Can you… help me get out of here now… please?" Your voice was barely a squeak. Your legs were sore and wobbly, but you were certain you’d make it out safely with his help.

Trager climbed off of you and brushed his hands against his apron. "Well who said I was going to do that? I told you already, you're staying with me, I could use an assistant. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get some decent help around here? I ask for forceps, they give me clamps, it's a whole thing. Now-"

He began to ramble on again, but you had already tuned him out. He wasn’t going to help you out, and with how long it had been since you last saw that cameraman, you had a feeling no one would. Maybe staying with Doctor Trager wouldn’t be so bad after all? At least, until you could find another way out. You were a survivor, you would live, no matter what.

[giannascorner]

[thetimelordbatgirl]

How it feels to see one of the alleged leaks is ANOTHER Doctor Lite episode in S15 that focuses on Ruby working with UNIT:

[vamp-a-day]

day 58

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