#Listen man I love their characters I love their relationship and I love their IRL friendship. They've got a firm grip on my brain rn

[halfbloodfics]

hi I’m not sure if anyone has asked for something like this but how about a dark and possessive snape, he walks into the great hall for dinner and sees reader all happy and talking to Remus lupin so he gets jealous and angry fucks reader 😭(sorry I get if this is weird)

YYYYEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

Title: R U mine?

pairing: snape x female prof!reader, established relationship

18+ minors dni for the love of god.

cw: harddom!snape, rough sex, face fucking, choking, hair pulling, degrading, spanking, finger sucking, angry sex, threats of voyerism but no voyerism, begging, threats orgasm denial, ownership kink, slight breeding kink, fluffy ending, lil bit of aftercare described/rest of it implied

disclaimer: this is certainly a more rough smut than the other ones i've written. in ALL my writing, i always write with the intent that the actions of both characters are fully consensual, informed and desired. in this smut in particular, consent is explicitly given, but it is also provided before hand. i always write with the idea that characters boundaries, desires, safe words etc have been previously discussed. while smut is fun to read, extra care needs to be taken irl with hardcore sex and more rough kinks. consent, boundaries, and safewords are important xox

~

Severus had had a day, to say the least. He'd spent the previous 6 hours dealing with students and staff who seemed to be more interested in causing disturbances than their academic pursuits. Needy colleagues, roudy students and a quite literal physical fight between two first year Gryffindors.... Not to mention the never ending pile of papers on his desk that he had barely put a dent in, or the looming reminders of Dumbledore's plan creeping into the back of his tired mind. Severus had had, a day.

He found a quiet relief in the idea of spending the evening, alone, with his partner, you. Even if the past six hours had been excruciating, even if he still had more work to do today and the next day, and even the day, hell weeks, after that, at least tonight he could be by her side.

His gaze softened at the mere thought of it, walking down the long, stone corridors of Hogwarts down to the Great Hall.

A dinner. That's it. He thought. A simple meal, eat a few bites, take a few sips of wine, pretend to be at least somewhat listening to the small talk around. And then peace, finally p-

His thoughts trailed off as he entered the Great Hall to see you there. His brows furrowing once again, not at the sight of you, looking as gorgeous as ever, your hair down, dress hanging perfectly off your body. Not at the stunning smile on your face, the scrunch of your nose as you grinned or he rise of your chest as you laughed; not even at the fact that it wasn't him eliciting such a response.

No. It was the fact that the man who was, was none other than Remus Lupin.

His jaw clenched as he approached, waiting for the moment you so graciously would decide to pay attention to your own partner instead of the bloody werewolf beside you.

When he was steps away from his seat, you turned, face lighting up even more at the sight of him. His own expression was stoic, unmoving as he his gaze remained almost harshly on Lupin as you kissed his cheek in greeting.

With the food appearing before you, the three of you took your seats. Severus to your right, Lupin to your left, you in the middle. You began to cut into your food, continuing the conversation you had been having with Lupin before Severus had entered; blissfully "unaware" of your partners clenched jaw, his hardening grip on the fork as he began to cut a little harder into his food.

Your head tossed back in laughter once more, Severus could feel his frustration mounting. He picked at his food as you continued with giggling, counting down the minutes until you'd be excused.

~

It was late at night when you finally knocked on the door to Severus's chamber. The short grunt of acknowledgement on the other side prompted you to enter. You closed the door quietly behind you, taking off your coat and hanging it on the hanger.

"Hi, love." You spoke softly. When you didn't hear a response, you turned to look at him, really, look at him; and that's when you noticed the look in his eyes.

Leaning back in his chair, Severus sat with his arms crossed in front of his chest. His black hair hung slightly in front of his darkened eyes, the look in them akin to something you had rarely seen in him before.

You opened your mouth to speak, but the quick snap of his fingers shut you up.

"Now," He spoke, his voice low, "Now you come to me. Now you decide to grace me with your presence."

Your lips still parted, your brows furrowed in confusion, you spoke: "Sev? What-"

"How was your dinner?" He asked through gritted teeth, leaning further back in his chair as he fingers drug into the tight dark fabric of his sleeves. "Or, should I say how was the conversation? I wouldn't know, considering I was hardly a part of it."

You open your mouth to speak again but he cut you off.

"Do you want to know, the day I've had?" He murmered, his voice low, "Do you want to know, the shit... I've put up with?"

You let your lips close again, feeling the heat in your abdomen grow with the dangerously low sound of his voice. You both knew how much you liked when got like this... The possessive, darker side that you'd pull from deep within him if you wanted to. And you knew, that you certainly had wanted to. Why else would you laugh so loudly, at Lupins jokes, right beside Severus? Why else would you choose to ignore the clench of his jaw as he sat still beside you? You both had had countless conversations on the nature of this jealousy. On the boundaries of it, on the dangers, on the pleasures... And Severus knew exactly what pleasures you liked.

You stared at him from across the room, feet planted firmly in place. His gaze hardened as he watched your blank expression remain unmoving.

His chin tilted down only a little more, just enough for the dim candle light to cast dark shadows under his eyes. His anger dancing clearly upon his face now, he spoke, his voice a dangerously low hiss:

"Do you want to know, how I had been waiting, yearning, a single ounce of relief from the burdens thrust upon me? The promise of sitting beside my girl? Seeing her smile for me?"

You stayed frozen, completely transfixed by the look of barely restrained rage on his face. Unbeknownst to you, the pace of your breathing had quicked, air entering your lungs in quick trembling gasps.

The beginning of an apology threatened to spill out from your quivering lips, but it died before its escape with the raise of his finger.

"Do you know, " he hisses, his voice dripping in rage, "how it feels, to see my girl, giggling like a little slut with one of the men I depise the most?"

Something fluttered in your chest, the heat growing in your abdomen with his degrading words. You parted your lips again to apologize, or maybe to protest but-

"You don't." He hissed, a loud, seething whisper.

His darkened gaze lowered, tracing a dangerous path down your trembling body.

His gaze flicked back up to your eyes and your breath died in your throat at the wild, primal rage that seemed to swim within his eyes.

"No." He murmered, his voice nearly dropping an octave. "But you will."

Your stomach dropped, his eyebrow twitched: "Come here. Now."

You didn't even think to disobey. You closed the distance between where you stood and his desk, making your way around the stack of scattered parchment to stand in front of his chair.

Severus, however, had other plans.

With one swift movement, he rose from his chair, his firm hand tangling itself roughly in your hair, forcing you to your knees.

You gasped as he gave your hair a firm tug, forcing your gaze up at him. His hair was a mess, chest rising and falling drastically wiith each breath, as if it was taking every ounce of physical strength in his battered form not to absolutely pounce on you. His pupils blown, brows furrowed as he gritted out through clenched teeth: "You want this?"

You nodded, the heat pooling between your legs, thighs subconciously rubbing together as you looked up at him, seeking friction.

He grunted, gripped your hair tighter and you let an audible gasp splip from your lips. "What's our safe word?" He hissed.

"Asphodel." You whispered. Your voice came out a breathless, shaky sound.

His right hand slipped from your hair, fingers now roughly gripping your chin, forcing your lips to part further. In an instant they were slipped inside, roughly caressing your tongue.

You gasped, gagged for a moment on the unexpected penetration.

"Little slut." He spat. "Choking on that already?"

You whimpered, lips closing around his thick fingers as you began to lightly suck, coatiing his digits in your saliva.

Severus's jaw clenched, his nostrils flaring slightly at the sight of you on your knees, looking up at him with those wide eyes. He roughly yanked his fingers from your mouth, gripping your chin and forcing that helpless gaze up higher.

When the beginning of another apology formed itself on your tongue, his voice silenced it imediately.

"Silence. I do not want to hear a single thing from your filthy lips except for you gagging and choking on me."

You swallowed, nodded.

Fuck.

Your panties were absolutely soaked now. You were sure it was enough to soak the floor beneath you. You could certainly feel it wetting your thighs, the dull ache of your clit throbbing as you looked up at him.

His right hand went back to gripping the back of your hair tightly, his other hand roughly tugging at the buttons of his trousers, unzipping, reaching into his black boxers.

He pulled out his long, hard cock, your breath quickening at the sight of it as you mentally prepared yourself.

His grip on your hair tightened. "How do you tell me to stop?" He practically growled.

Your answer came out a shaky gasp: "Three taps."

He yanked on your hair, your lips parting to gasp and immediately being stuffed by the entirety of his thick cock. Gagging, you choked, hands instinctively coming up to hold hips and regain some sense of control. Graciously, he allowed it, too focused on roughly thrusting himself into your mouth to bother with your pointless grip on his hips.

Both hands now held your head as he roughly began to thrust into you, giving you no time to adjust to his size. Gagging, tears filled your eyes, obscuring your vision as you tried to look up at him. Giving up, you squeezed them shut, focusing on breathing through your nose as he took what he wanted.

"Open... Your eyes." He hissed, giving a series of particularly rough thrusts to your throat. "You're going to watch me fuck your face. See it's me, not your little friend."

Your eyes flew open with as you gagged to find his harsh gaze looking down on you. He continued to fuck your face mercilessly as your hands trembled on his hips. You could hardly make out the sharp features of his face as tears filled your eyes, your mascara spilling down your cheeks as he continued to use you.

He grunted, his breath coming in quick sharp gasps as both hands roughly held your head in place with each harsh, quick thrust of his hips.

"Not so talkative now, are we?" He grunted, continuing his brutal pace.

You whimpered, gagging, trying desperetely to breathe through your nose.

Focus. Inhale. Exhale. Relax.

"No." He hissed, his breathing rapid. "Finally using that slut mouth for what it's meant for."

You whined, panting through your nose, feeling his cock roughly hit the back of your throat with each painful thrust.

A low moan escaped his lips. "Not mouthing off to that fucking wolf. Not laughing at his jokes."

His pace quickened, if it was even possible. His breathing was becoming more ragged, desperate, his release coming on quick.

A low moan left Severus's lips. With this encouragment, you sucked harder, bobbing your head in time with his rough thrusts. A ragged gasp tore up from his chest, filling the air with the lewd sounds of his panting and the lewd, wet slapping of your face against his pelvis.

Both of his strong hand thrusted your head firmly against his hips, his cock now painfully pushed against the base of your throat as he held you still, firmly in place.

With a grunt, he came, his hot, salty release painting your throat. Gagging, you screwed your eyes shut as he held you in place, coaxing every last drop it down your throat.

"Swallow." He panted. "Swallow it. You pathetic slut."

When you had, he used his right hand again to grip the back of your hair and yank you off him and released you.

Air filled your lungs instantly. As if you had been drowning, you stumbled back on your knees, collapsing, panting against the floor.

For less than a minute, you stared at Severus's black shoes, painting as you tried desperately to catch your breath. When you were sure you would not pass out, you looked up at him, aware that you probably looked a mess.

He was panting as well, looking down on you with that same, seething expression. You knew it had not been enough. To fuck your face was not enough. You had really pissed him off this time. He needed more.

His voice came out through gritted teeth: "Bend over."

You tried to stand, but his hand shoved your head back down before it could rise past his hips. Looking up at him confused, you felt the realisation dawn upon you with a flutter in your chest.

"Here, on the floor?" You whispered. Your voice was softer than you expected, as if he had managed to somehow fuck your vocal chords.

His jaw twitched and you didn't dare to question him again. On weak hands, you shifted so that you were on your hands and knees on the wooden floor.

In an instant he was on top of you. His one hand pressed between your shoulder blades, pushing you down so that your face was flush against the floor. His other hand ripped off your skirt, the fabric tearing loudly.

A silencing charm was cast.

"You're lucky I have an ounce of mercy left for you after the stunt you pulled today. Otherwise I'd have let everyone hear all your pathetic little cries." He spat, hooking his right arm under your stomach and hoisting you up so that you were on your knees in your panties, your face still pinned to the floor.

Severus was often a slow lover. It wasn't pace, per say, but rather the amount of time he dedicated to sex. Majority of the time, your love making, whether on the gentler or the rougher side, lasted up to an hour, sometimes more.

That patience was lost on Severus now though, who, without even stretching you, pushed the entirity of his cock into you.

A sound that was akin to a yelp left your lips as you clawed at the floor, panting at the feeling of him stretching you out.

Severus hissed, gripped your hips with his right hand, his left still pinning you to the floor. "Dirty slut." He murmered. "Soaked just from sucking my cock?"

You whimpered, nodded, any shame having long abandoned you.

Barely having given you time to adjust, Severus began to thrust into you at a brutal pace. His hips slapped against your ass, the skin actually starting to sting with the force of his thrusts. He had never fucked you so feverishly, so desperately, like a man who was clinging every part inside him urging him to claim. As if your flirting with Lupin really was an act of slipping away from him, and this was his remedy.

Lewd moans flew from your mouth, whining, desperate sounds. Babbling curses, his name, repeated half stuttered words you knew he liked to hear. A chorus of whimpers ringing out across the luckily, silenced room.

Severus left hand weaved itself through your hair, grabbing it at the base and roughly yanking your head back. Only then did you feel the drool slipping down your chin and realised how absolutely lost you were.

His speed steady, he kept a firm grip on your waist, leaning in to hiss in your ear: "Fucking pathetic. Getting fucked on the floor like a whore." He delivered a hard slap to your ass, causing your body to jerk back against him. "And you like it. Don't you, dirty girl?"

The "yes" that came from your mouth was ragged and broken, a mix of a whimper and a cry that struggled to make its way past your quivering lips.

His hand shifted from your hair to your chin, gripping it tightly, pulling you back higher as he continued to pound into you.

"I said." Thrust.

"You like it." Thrust.

"Don't you?" Thrust.

Your nails desperately scratched at the floor, seeking something to cling onto. The combination of his words, his pace, his dominance... Everything you liked, desired, all at once.. It was going to send you over the edge shamelessly quick if you didn't get it together.

"Ugh yes!" You sobbed. "L-love it..."

The hand gripping your chin offered a light, gentle slap before his fingers forced themselves into your mouth.

"Suck." He ordered, continuing his rough pace.

You obeyed, eyes closing as you tried to focus on sucking his fingers despite the growing heat in your abdomen as he continued to hit your G spot.

You could tell by his ragged breaths, the way his grunts were becoming more frequent, a little louder, that he was approaching his climax as well. He moved, like he needed it. Like he'd die without it.

Severus bit down hard on your neck, with his fingers still in your mouth, hand still gripping your waist as he moved.

The cry that came from you was muffled with his fingers, which began to thrust, fucking your mouth in time with his thrusts.

"You think I want you strutting around this castle acting like a greedy slut?" He delivered a hard slap on your ass. "Like I can't control you? Like my cock isn't enough for you?"

You whimpered around his fingers, shaking your head, eyes shut in pleasure as your legs began to shake.

"Walking around like I don't own this fucking pussy?" He hissed. "Like I don't fill it up with my cum every night?"

You whined at his lewd remarks. Never had you heard Severus speak so crudely or curse so much. You'd discussed it, sure, expressed your interest in it. It wasn't a foreign, and certainly not an unwanted concept... But it had never... Been as intense as this.

The way he slammed into you, fucking you on the floor as he nearly hissed into your ear, hands clawing at every part of your body. You could tell he was trying his best to fuck some sense into you, while also convincing himself that you were his.

And certainly, you wanted him to know.

When his fingers withdrew from your mouth to wrap themselves tightly around your neck, you let out a loud moan.

"Y-yours.. I'm.. I'm sorry.."

He growled, spanked you again. "Are you, now? Sorry for making my shit day worse or being a pathetic slut?"

You cried out, the sound muffled by the squeeze of his fingers around your throat. "B-both.. Sorry.. Sev.. S-sorry.." You said shakily.

Severus bit down on your ear, his lips moving down your jaw, your neck, leaving harsh, stinging bites on the skin there.

He began to grunt, his black hair fell on your shoulder as he buries his face in your neck, holding you up against his chest while he fucked you roughly.

His breath hot and rapid, you could feel the faltering of his hips, the hitching of his breaths. He was close.

"You don't even deserve to come" He practically growled against your neck as he delivered yet another harsh slap to your ass.

Now this was an outcome you hand't considered. You had teased him at dinner, with a goal in mind. But being denied your orgasm? When it was so strongly building inside you?

"Please." You whimpered, "Pl-please.."

Another stinging bite on your neck. "You don't deserve it."

Your legs threatened to give out underneath you with the sheer force of how much your body had begun to shake.

Your heart nearly dropped as the possibility that he really would deny you your orgasm grew more likely. Desperation clogged your mind, shown through quick, harsh pants and whines that flew from your quivering lips.

"Please." You nearly cried. "I'm sorry.. I-"

Your apology was cut short by your desperate whine as he hips completely stilled. For what seemed like the first time in years, he was now completely still inside you, panting against your neck.

This was it. You thought. He won't let me. He-

Severus's fingers loosened their grip on your throat, that hand moving now to completely cover your mouth, muffling your surprised moan. He lifted his head from your neck, murmering in a low firm voice in your ear: "You'll come. But only because I need to that slut pussy clench as you milk me dry. You understand?"

Your stomach fluttered as you nodded quickly.

His large hand remained firm on your mouth as he began to slam into you again, somehow even harsher, faster, than before. You cried out against his palm, moaning shamelessly as tears of pleasure and pain began to prick your eyes.

Your legs shaking rapidly, you were practically limp in his arms as he held you up and panted against your ear.

"Mine." He growled.

"Mine." Thrust.

"To use." Thrust.

"To fuck." Thrust.

"To fill." Thrust.

Now completely shaking, you could feel the knot in your stomach coiling tighter, beginning to clench around him as he fucked you brutally.

Severus released his hand from your mouth, the room instantly filling up with the sound of your cries.

He yanked your hair back again.

"Look... at... me..." He panted, and you obeyed.

In his eyes you saw the pure, released lust and possession swimming within them. The furrow of his brow, the slight gleam of sweat, his parted lips...

It was enough to send you over the edge, You came, hard. The tsunami wave of pleasure wracking itself over your body. You nearly screamed his name, a breathless, torn sound as you convulsed in his arms

Something shifted, changed in those eyes before he closed them, burying his face into the grove of your neck.

"i... love... you.." He whispered, so low you could barely even hear it, barely even able to focus on it as your orgasm wracked your body.

With the clenching of your walls around him, his hips stuttered as he came. A near whimper was muffled by the marked up flesh of your neck as he thrust his hips into you a final time, coating your insides in his release.

For a moment, all the two of you could do was pant. He continued to hold you up against his chest for several moments until both your breathing had slowly gone back to normal.

Once he had regained some control, Severus picked you up, sitting down on the chair at his desk with you in his lap. With your head nuzzled into his chest, you allowed your lungs to fill with the familiar scent of his robes.

The same fingers that had penetrated and grasped at you moments ago tangeled gently in your hair, coaxing out the knots that had formed as he brushed it away from your face.

As your eyelids fluttered open, you saw him looking down at you, a soft, almost invisible smile on his lips, his black eyes gentle once more.

"Was that alright, my love?" He murmered as his fingers moved down to trace over the marks he had left on your neck and collarbone.

Nodding, you let out a soft hum.

"Did I hurt you, was I to-"

You cut him off before his fear of actually hurting you could weave its way into his mind any further.

"Perfect." You whispered, weakly. "You were perfect."

His brow relaxed slightly at this. The corner of his lip twitching up in a small, half smile as he gazed down at you in his arms. With a soft hum, he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Come," He said, picking you up, "Lets get you cleaned up."

-

this was the filthiest thing i've ever written. wowzers.

hope it was decent.

cheerio

xx

taglist:

@graciesbow @niftysnazzy @plecosylvia @dark-st  @3hrysfiction-blog @ilovegrapes-world @darkvoidz @lexiitaylorrrr @theheartwants-what-itwants

this is my first time using a taglist, which will be used for all my fics (smut and not) so you must be 18+ to join. i mean my blog clearly states minors do not interact. if you want to join, shoot me message or comment on my post where i ask if anyone wants to join. if you want to be removed, message me as well xo

[royalarchivist]

Pac: Do you think there's other way to find some sharestones over here? Nah, no, right?

Fit: Probably not.

Pac: Maybe. Ah– Fitch! Fitch! [Fit's name with an accent]

Fit: Oh– OH– Pac Pac Pac!

Pac: [In a panicked voice] FITCH!

Fit: Ok, you're good, I got you, I got you. Yeah, just stay over here, stay over here. Behind me, behind me.

Pac: Yeah, I'm good, I'm good, oh my god. [Laughs] I even changed language, you know? [Laughs]

Fit: [Laughs] All right, we got this.

Pac: I start screaming your name in Portuguese.

Fit: [Laughs] As soon as I hear "Fitch", I'm like, "Ohhh boy, sht's about to get real." [Checking his chat messages] Oh, Phil says it's important–

[livelaughlovesubs]

I need to vent amongus Boothill hngg 😩 I've been down bad since the leaks like seven plus months ago hnggg please plEASe 😩

I'm a slut for cowboy characters hnggg I love his drawl literally told my partner before his voice was released if he didn't have an accent then what was the point

Please he's so pretty and shdbdhdh he makes me giggle and kick my feet I know he'd be the Roger Rabbit to his lover (or like Hosier when he tweeted "my girlfriend is made at me I want to die") he's such a devoted hunk of man 😤 listen he's the lock in kinda hoe ya know when he's in a fully committed relationship he's the biggest sluttiest sub, he doesn't half ass his relationships ok

I know a lot of people debate on if he can feel or not with his body but I raise: we literally have VR sensors to detect touch IRL rn so I'd say with some effort absolutely but typically if he's working it's probably best they're not as active

Country boy, I love youuuuuu 😘😘😘😘

I don't care what biology or society says I'm gonna make him my bride and impregnate him even if I have to get Ruan Mei's help (she'd absolutely do it out of curiosity fr fr).

-🐇

Pls, when I first saw leaks of him I thought he was very ugly 💀 I DONT KNOW WHY, I LOOKED AT THOSE LEASK AND WAS LIKE: WTF IS THIS MAN? And all the comments were simping over him, while I sat there thinking, ‘damn, ya’ll simping over such a random ass cowboy? Why.’

Now I’m such a whore for him on god, I came back to the game just for him and have 200 tickets prepared for him 😭😭 mind you before I came back I had zero (cuz I took a break after losing on balde’s banner again) prefarmed all his shit and got artefacts ready for him too. Also build my other characters, grinded till I got to 300 tickets to get an exclusive bronya for him etc etc. How twisted fate is uff.

Anyway, boothill as a slut/ whore is such a hot thought. Him being a teasing bottom, who almost seems like a power bottom would be so sexy. But after I saw his ‘shy’ expression I must say, an inexperienced, all talk no bite and shy boothill is >>>>

HIS BLUSHING FACE IS SOOO CUTE I ALMOST DIED ON THE SPOT, I ALMOST CRIED.

Just imagine him being cheeky, until you touch him, praise him and stroke his hair. How his eyes widen and his lips tremble due to the embarrassment. His body must be overheating again, otherwise he doesn’t have a plausible explanation as to why he feels so hot. Avoiding your gaze at all cost as he put on big airs again, only to squeak and whine when you kiss him so tenderly <33

[prying-pandora666]

On Alucard and Maria

Are there actually fans advocating for Alucard to be written as Maria’s father figure in the new season of Nocturne? Like that would be a good thing and not infinitely creepier? I don’t think they’ve thought this through.

Alucard is the single most popular character in the franchise. He’s also probably the most shipped character. And yet he has only had one canon love interest in the decades since he’s existed. It’s Maria. And you’re telling me that you think that because he’s 300+ and she’s 17-18 when they started living together in the games, that it would be grooming. However, somehow him inserting himself into her life at age 16 when she’s just lost both her parents wouldn’t come off like grooming!?

Does this man look like he should be picking up random children!? He’s literally terrified of his own cursed blood. Maybe LISTEN TO HIM.

I’m convinced fandoms have forgotten what that word means. Grooming has specific features. It doesn’t just mean “older guy and younger girl.” A relationship with an age gap or an uneven power dynamic can be exploitative or abusive without being a case of grooming. Grooming specifically refers to the process of forming a relationship with a child with the intention of leveraging that relationship and trust to train and prepare (aka brainwash) your victim for the harmful activities the groomer wants to normalize. The relationship Alucard and Maria have in the games is in no way grooming. You know what would be grooming though?

Coming into a 16 year old’s life when she’s vulnerable, traumatized, and recently orphaned only to insinuate yourself as a new father figure. This is so highly inappropriate and a huge red flag. Consider what you’re actually asking for here. These characters do not exist in a a vacuum. They have a long history together as each other’s only canon love interests. You cannot fully extract them from the games, art, interviews, audio dramas, animations, and more where they’re depicted as a couple. There are decades of this precedent and you are asking Netflix to knowingly take the characters with an established romantic dynamic that the audience is already primed to see as romantic and instead portray their meeting as him trying to be her new daddy?

“Oh look! Alucard and his… daughter? Yikes.” This is an official advertisement btw.

THAT is grooming! Think about the optics of this! It would be abysmal! No it would NOT fix the problem of their age gap to make him act like a groomer and get in good with her as a dad. You just cannot completely extract them from the legacy of their relationship in the source materials. It will be incredibly creepy and textbook grooming if you get your way.

Is this really what you want to associate with an “adoptive father Alucard”? Because the art we create doesn’t exist in a vacuum. All the old content—official and fanmade—is still going to exist.

What is so objectionable about the original dynamic anyway? It’s a pretty fun subversion of the tired and problematic vampire trope of “vampire man stalks teen girl and coerces her into being his”. Instead in their original relationship, Maria is the one who pursues Alucard! It’s the young woman who takes initiative and is given the agency to go after what she wants. She courts and woos him. That’s part of the fun!

Yes, Alucard is 300+. He’s also a fictional creature that doesn’t actually exist IRL and stays eternally young. There are no actual people who will ever have his problem of staying 20 forever so it’s rather silly to say he can’t date any humans because of course he will have an age gap with any of them.

The only real problem I have seen people bring up is Maria’s age, but from what I can tell, the show’s already fixed this. Check it out.

In The Games

Rondo of Blood: Maria is 12. She and Alucard do not meet. Richter is a brother-figure and not romantic.

There is then a 5 year time skip.

Symphony of the Night: Maria is 17. She and Alucard meet to save Richter. At the end, Alucard says his goodbyes and intends to return to a life of solitude. Maria goes after him because she has developed feelings for him and doesn’t want him to suffer a life alone.

Maria is given agency to pursue what she wants and prove herself even against Alucard’s resistance and hesitance to let another person into his life.

They spend a year together before we get the audio drama.

Nocturne of Remembrance: Maria continues to try to get close to Alucard. They end up saving each other’s lives and in the end he finally confesses his romantic feelings for her. She is an adult and perfectly able to make her own choices. She chose him. He admits he returns her feelings.

How fandom can look at a story about a young woman subverting the trope and chasing the vampire to get what she wants—basically an anti-Bella Swan—and still find a way to disempower her just so they can pearl clutch? I couldn’t tell you.

So now let’s look at what the show did.

In The Show

Nocturne S1: Maria is 16. She’s been aged up from 12, probably to give her a more active and believable role. But this also means she’s within a normal age to start feeling attraction and expressing her wants. Within her society, she’s even considered of marriageable age. However we are spared the discomfort of our modern values clashing with her contemporaneous ones because Maria in this season isn’t interested in romance. She’s interested in revolution, equality, justice. They’ve portrayed her with so much love and strength. There is no indication they’d betray her by writing her as the child victim of a male suitor. In fact she only meets Alucard in the final few seconds of the season and the two do not even speak a single word to one another.

Now let’s remember the games had a five year time skip. The show only needs two years to get Maria to the adult age of 18, but assuming the follow through with the timeline and go for the full five?

Maria will be 21.

21.

Fan concept for adult Maria. Credit:@esp-art

Are you telling me a 21 year old woman is not old or mature enough to make her own decisions? How is this not a total infantilization of women? Do you think a 21 year old badass vampire hunter needs protection from the ace depressed dhampir boy who just wants to sleep and has in no way tried to pursue her until after she expressed consistent and persistent interest in him?

It is not “grooming” to meet someone when they were younger and then meet them again years later as an adult. That’s a thing that happens! In real life! Adults can still make decisions for themselves! It is only grooming if Alucard behaved in a way that would manipulate teen Maria and put her under his control and authority before she can consent. There is no indication that Alucard in the show is going to do this. And yet the fandom is basically demanding it by saying he should make her “his baby girl”?

And what of Maria’s feelings in all this? She just lost her mother and was betrayed by her father shortly after discovering he even existed. She has lived her whole life without a father. She is in no desperate need of a new one. And if she does need a family member, she already has one! Richter is 19 and is her trusted adoptive brother. Why wouldn’t she go to him over a total stranger she just met and who is half vampire - literally a predator creature that feeds on humans!?

Yeah, hi, Richter Belmont still exists. He and Maria consider each other family. Why would you want her relying on a strange man she just met as a “father figure” rather than her trusted and loving brother?

Have none of you even considered how Maria would feel if Alucard even tried to fill the paternal role? He’d have to force it on her through manipulation and coercion. No way she would want to view him that way. Especially considering she is 16 and likely to be as attracted to the sparkly 20 year old looking sculpted marble beauty as anyone else!

Don’t mind the beautiful eternally young man who looks made of pure porcelain and light. No teen girl has ever been attracted to this, right? No way it could be exploitative and creepy for him to present himself as her new daddy, giving himself authority and influence over her as his child to mold as he wishes, right? Oh yeah, this is MUCH better than Maria pursuing him of her own volition once she becomes an adult, right guys?

We are truly in the stupidest dark timeline.

Frankly, I don’t care if Netflix has them get together or not. They would work just fine as friends too. I just sure as hell hope they’ll ignore the fans clamoring for a creepy daddy/daughter dynamic. Dressing it up as “concern” won’t hide that for some it’s a fetish, and for others they’re just useful idiots who haven’t thought it through.

I implore you to think it through.

[she-whatshername]

MORE Tyrrish Men Headcanons you didn't ask for (now with 30% more Garrick)

I was excited to see my last post on this was so popular so here is more. Also a disclaimer: I made all of these up as there is very little information on these characters. They are all Facts in my head...but questionable IRL, haha

Garrick is 100% wingman first and right after that is ladies man, mares in the stable and all that. He knows he's attractive, is a show off about it, and has had many lovers because of it. Relationships, probably none, but countless of trysts and 1 nighters

I think thats probably why he's so on-and-off with Imogen. I think he's ten toes down in love with her, and I think love scares him because love makes you do foolish things (he's watched his parents die for their country and Xaden be...Xaden, to be cautious of giving his heart to someone)

With his father's job being Fen's aid, Garrick is ultra perceptive, loyal, and hella charismatic. When Xaden says that Cat wasn't his first 'by a long shot' It was 100% due to him being around Garrick.

Could you image those two out on campus or in Cordyn before Xaden met Violet The backs hearts these two must of broke...

Should his S/O be in a relationship with him, they'd have to prepare for his quips and gawks at other people, I think his rizz level is so high he couldn't help himself

But, he's so so loyal. He will know everything about you due to how observant he is and will never miss a birthday, solstice, equinox, anniversary, you name it.

Probably has the most thoughtful dates; they are few and far between during his schedule but makes it happen. I imagine he's a bit more long distance (the revolution/being there for Xaden comes first) but when its 1:1 time with his partner, he's 100% giving you his time.

I be he has an excellent mental calendar

Also, he's the BEST person to come to if you need to vent. He will listen and wait until you're done to ask questions/respond. I think a lot of people go to him before going to Xaden so he gives really good advice/leadership.

Maybe a lil spice for this thread but his familial ties to supporting and aiding royalty he enjoys the role power he has as an XO and right hand to the revolution...but I do think he likes being told what to do behind closed doors. When his partner finds this out. Its over Gare.

Did i mention SO. LOYAL. He wouldn't have a who hurt you moment he would totally be that person that would take care of the problem secretly before they could even hurt you. Like your bully/nemeses is suddenly nice to you or randomly apologizes, go thank Garrick for that.

All Tyrrish men have giant sweet tooths, Garrick being the largest (Again, I explore this theory in humorous detail in 'Drifted')

Again, no facts to back this up but I bet he's a good dancer and has dragged just about everyone up on a table at one point to sing a Tyrrish song

He supplies the churam for the group. The man has connections.

Should I do Xaden next?

[tree0frog]

hiya!! i was wondering if i could ask for rosie, lucifer, charlie, and angel with a teen reader who’s always very sweet, charismatic, and soft spoken, but suffers with a sad past:(

it’s a wonder to everyone why she’s in hell in the first place, she never talks about her life back when she was alive

one day *character* walks in on reader having a ptsd induced panic attack, once reader calms down, for the first time ever she opens up about her past life. her dad abandoned her at a young age, her mom committed suicide, then the man who adopted her when she was 13 just abused her and pimped her out to his friends until she killed him n ran away for the sake of her own survival which was the sin that landed her in hell:/ something additional is the panic attacked being caused because reader ran into her abuser, even in death she can’t escape him.

also all characters have a platonic relationship with reader ofc, rosies like a mom, charlie and angel are like a big brother and sister, and lucifer is an eventual dad figure, reader being the one who changes his mind abt sinners

p.s this isn’t based on irl or anything (thank god) it’s just kinda an oc request but i understand if it still makes u uncomfy that rlly isn’t my intention:(

hi so sorry this took so long i wasn't sure how to write this so I do apologies if this is wrong by any means!!

tw~hell breaks down blood swearing self-harm Abuice

You were the youngest siner within the hotel it sadden some of them{mainly Charlie} that you were down here so young, the group had learned that you didn't want to talk about why you ended in hell and respected it.

that was until

Charlie

now i see charlie as someone who as much as she wanted to help you can be she will end up crying along beside you even if you don't know why she is crying she is.

loves hugs as a form of comfort but will understand that sometimes they can be too much for you and will settle for just sitting beside you if you let her.

She will play music if you write to her.

and will help you clean up any mess that you may of made from yourself or by slowly messing up your room.

is a good listener and will let you draw or write how you are felling if you are not up for talking.

Rosie

omg she is the best out of them all!!

if you have hurt yourself before when you are having an episode she will sit with you and hold your hands or remove anything that she thinks you could use to hurt yourself or someone else away from your reach.

will give you tea and let me tell you she makes the best tea.

she will play classical music to calm the vibe down and tell you it's alright and not your fault.

the best advice you will ever get is from this lady trust me.

she would kill for you and you know that.

Angle

i feel like he would go two ways

one leave you alone and go work out how to talk to a crying kid

or OR he would pick you up and give you the best hugs and tell you its ok

now I fell like out of everyone he would make you fell the most better about the other sinners as he isn't hell-born like the others you know.

best comfort

he knows what it's like to deal with shitty people and knows a little of what you're going though

he seems himself in you.

will let you cuddle him until you fall asleep

and will let you sleep over on those harder nights.

Lucifer

ohoho the big man well let me just say one word

DUCKS!!!!!!!!

he will make you a duck every time you are having a hard time or just cos he can you know

if he finds out your mother is in hell we she would of wished the angles got to her first

and see you as his second child.

he will let you put his hat on

if you end up hurting yourself he will kiss each cut, bump, bruise or scrap better.

will play the violin and sing you to sleep.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Movie Analysis: The Placement of Alex's Speech

Alright I’m really fucking sick of people complaining about the placement of the speech. (I swear, I write half of these essays out of irritation. But I’m happy while doing it so it all checks out)

Two things.

Regarding Henry’s consent

Use context clues people. Henry says, “Your speech was beautiful. Made me very proud to be your boyfriend.” It’s clear that Henry approves of the speech.

Again, what can be shown explicitly is restricted by the format. The point of Henry’s montages during the speech is to show how trapped and helpless he is in the situation. (for more, I wrote about it here.) The scenes need to keep that atmosphere/feeling of isolation and pain. If let’s say, we have a scene where the prime minister asks Henry about admitting and coming out, it would take away the consistent feeling of Henry’s pain. Cinematically, it won’t work. But that doesn’t mean in universe, it didn’t happen.

Also, Alex fucking loves Henry with every inch of his soul. He’s willing to fight for them, but he’s also willing to be patient for him. After getting his feelings sorted out and knowing with 100% clarity that he’s in love with Henry, he is never, ever going to do something that so obviously would hurt Henry. He would rather get hurt himself than hurt Henry. (Corresponding Book Quote: “Alex wants to go to war for this man, wants to get his hands on everything and everyone that ever hurt him.”) He wouldn’t make the speech without knowing Henry is okay with it. He just wouldn’t, that would straight up be out of character. So the fact that he did, means one way or another, he has Henry’s consent. And Henry later approving the speech in the piano scene, proves that. (It’s completely possible that the script itself meant to explain it this way, but if at any point they might have explicitly discussed coming out, my guess would be the Kensington breakfast scene, Prime, I’m coming for your hard drives—)

Regarding the placement of speech

There are two reasons for this.

One irl reason, is again, the format of the medium, and movie story telling. You want the tension to continuously build, increase and move upwards, then get a big but concrete resolution, and then this part is over. Having the speech as a conclusion after the balcony wave will not feel as well resolved as directly having the speech, then ending this part of the story with the big, big protest and balcony wave.  

But there’s a diegetic/ in universe reason as well.  

A lot of people, especially those who complain that Movie Alex is a himbo (also spite writing an essay on that, WIP, stay tuned), forget that Alex is a budding politician, and in fact, is a damn good one.

He, despite being kind of confused about his sexuality (read this essay for more), figures out Miguel’s flirting is mostly trying to get his statements for his articles, and in a fairly polite and classy way, Alex declines. (The state dinner slip was because he was way too entranced by Henry) He was a speaker at the DNC. His Texas campaign ultimately won Ellen the election.

When is comes to these things, he knows what he’s doing, and he’s good at what he does.

Making the speech before the crown can make a statement, was a strategic move.

Henry told Alex about his grandfather’s stance on this during the Paris date. He also told, well, yelled at Alex about the pressures he has from the crown during the Kensington confrontation. Alex knows the King will disapprove of their relationship and attempt to shove Henry into the closet.

So he has to be the one to control the narrative. He needs people to listen to, and believe in his, or rather, their side of the story.

And here’s a bit about human psychology. When receiving a new piece of information, our first impression and subsequent judgement of said information tends to be persistent. If we are provided with a second piece of contradicting information, we will tend to treat the second piece with much more criticism and suspicion. The mindset would be “prove to me the first one is wrong” instead of “Which one of these is right”.

Therefore, for Alex to get more people on his side, he must speak first.

(I almost imagine this is the reason the White House blocked communication with the palace. That bugged me for a while, until I thought, if the White House doesn’t block communication and receive a demand from the palace, they aren’t really on grounds to refuse it without a diplomatic mess. It’s the equivalent of avoiding talking to someone you don’t want to approach with the excuse “Oh my phone was off sorry”)

Imagine it. If the crown does what the King originally proposed and claims all the emails are fabrications and denies that Henry is gay and in a relationship with Alex, then Alex’s speech will be viewed through tinted glasses of “this is a fabrication, this is a lie” and it will take much more persuading for people to believe in Alex, because their first judgement of the issue, would be the crown’s lie of a narrative.

But by making the speech first, people’s first judgement of the issue, would be Alex’s explanation, of it being an invasion of privacy, and of it being true. Even if the crown denies it, with the first judgement being Alex’s narrative, it would make it much easier to see through the lie, because in people’s head, they already assumed that Alex is telling the truth.

By making the speech first, Alex has won both himself and Henry, the pen to write history.

Making the speech first is in no way Alex disrespecting Henry.

By playing politics and strategy, Alex is protecting Henry in the most familiar way he knows.

[for-ships-that-never-sail]

LISTEN

I’m on the ✨ #LukolaEndgame ✨ hopes and dreams delulu (but hopefully not actually delulu) train 🚂 just as much as the next person here

BUT ALSO

I wouldn’t be mad at this?? 👀

Like…. He’s a handsome man, and if Nic intends to respectfully climb him like a tree, I GET IT. 👀🤤

See below for more Lukola positive thoughts though…

👇🏼

SO Nic has already mentioned Eamon by name (as a friend) in at least 2 or 3 interviews during the recent press tour… She’s also said she very much believes in the friends to lovers trope that is just as applicable here…. Andddddddd I’ve seen Nic hug A on video in a very friendly way (not that she wouldn’t hug her or be nice to her even if she didddd want L rn) and I also just saw someone’s theory on the Lukola tag about Nic’s “shit or get off the pot” paddle hit side eye vibes potentially being about her just giving L friendly advise on his stuff with A, which I can technically see as plausible…

So yeah, I know those ideas are gonna pisssss people off, but I’m just saying…. It would be a gorgeous love story for Lukola to one day be endgame, BUT in the meantime, I can see their current situations being all of thisss^

NOW in terms of my personal hopes and dreams of Lukola actually being endgame… I see it the way I see #Beliza 😅

Is anyone here from THOSE days?? When we used to look at #Bellarke and say, “if Bellamy is not supposed to be in love with Clarke, someone needs to tell Bob to stop looking at Eliza like that” (because we thought it was justtttt an acting choice)???

And then BAMMM

Out of absolutely fucking NOWHERE (I mean for some of us crazies that were following too closely it wasn’t 100% out of nowhere… but I knooooow that’s how the majority felt) they’re about to be filming the last season of the show and they’re just like yeah so GUESS WHAT GUYS I MARRIED MY BEST FRIEND and everyone is like ??? 🤯 I mean y’all were definitely close friends when you were shooting and doing promo every year for sure but like when the fuck did you become actual bestttt friends irl??? When the fuck did you start dating???? When did you even decide you’d get married?? Cause just a few months ago we were still seeing both of your other public shipssss!!! (Let’s also fully jump over THAT drama 👀) And then they were just like, so ummm we kissed after our first date and we just KNEW this was ITTTT so we got married 2 seconds later cause like why wouldn’t we?? We are best friends and soulmatesssss ✨🌈🦄 🥰🦞

Anyway

That’s how I imagine Lukola to one day become official 🤷🏻‍♀️ Like they’ll date other people openly, and then suddenly OUT OF THE BLUE they’re MARRIED and everyone’s fucking confused AND elated! Lol

I do wonder if already having been so intimate with each other as Polin (unlike Bellarke, which, let’s just not think about that anymore either 😫) would delay or speed up Lukola if this were the case.

Like either it’ll speed them up because they know they LIKED all of THAT 👀 so by the time Bridgerton is officially coming to a close they’ll feel comfortable enough to stop being so professional about their relationship and acknowledge the 🐘 in the room and get on itttttt and get married 4 dates in… ORRRRR it will slow them down because they would continue to think they LIKED IT only because they were experiencing emotional residue from being too in character as Polin. Meaning the show would have to end and they’d have to actually part ways for a while, and they’d have to miss each other a LOTTT, and realize it wasn’t just Polin that created all this 🌩️ energy 🌩️ between them, and then one of them would need to just jump in the deep end and be like, so uhmmmm I thought I was feeling the tingles cause I was just super into being Colin but maybeee that wasn’t ittt…. so do you, errr… wanna??? 👀

My concern with option 2 is that it has higher potential for “ships that pass in the night” vibes 😫

So

GOD I humbly pray that it’s actually the first version, and that they’re just sowing their wild oats until Bridgerton is nearly over, justttt because they don’t wanna accidentally fuck up any work dynamics, and that as soon as the official end is in sight, they will just get married two seconds into dating irl AMEN 🙏🏼

[emostudent]

TEEN WOLF BRAINROT

so, i've been rewatching teen wolf bc apparently netflix hates us europeans and it will be removed on may 31st and here are a few of my opinions TM

scott is actually a very good main character. listen, i got into this fandom when i was older, so i probably don't understand why there is this trend of hating scott, but he's a valid MC! he shows an example of positive masculinity that is honestly so refreshing to see in modern media: he's kind, compassionate, always optimistic but not stupidly so, has an amazing relationship with his mum AND his friends, he's not afraid to show emotions and cry. honestly a very healthy, albeit traumatised, young man. yes, he did stupid stuff for the girl he liked, and yes he misjudged a few situations, but please, remind me, how old is he supposed to be? 16? 17? 18? yeah. i did worse things at his age.

scott and stiles come from working class families!!! they have money problems!! it's honestly so refreshing to see teenagers discuss money in a supernatural/fantasy tv show. it doesn't usually happens and I've found it refreshing because it's something that usually happen between irl teenagers.

i don't get sterek. really, really don't. maybe it's bc i've watched the show through a gen z lens (meaning the media and the culture (read: THE INTERNET) when i watched the show were influenced more by gen z than millennials' values) but i really don't get it. and the age difference makes me uncomfortable. (same thing with parrish and lydia, SHE'S A MINOR DUDE, there's a reason people don't like cops istg) SOMEONE EXPLAIN STEREK TO ME PLEASE

in fics stiles and scott's personalities are often swapped: stiles is the caring one, the pack mum, scott is the one with homicidal tendencies. like, my dudes, the fact that scott is a GOOD person through and through is the reason he's a true alpha. also the reason we, as viewers, like stiles is bc he's sarcastic and more morally ambiguous than scott (not really, but you get it, he cares more about himself and his immediate friends, the others can die, scott instead want to save everyone period), it's like taking away the thing that makes stiles stiles

malia and stiles were SO cute, i didn't expect to like them so much, but when they broke up my heart shattered

stydia is everything i want in a ship and i will not accept any criticism on it, it's literally one of the only straight ships i like. you have the slowburn, the malewife x girlboss trope, the he fell first but she fell harder, the mutual pining. it literally checks all of my boxes

isaac was such a cool character and he and scott had an amazing dynamic, like come on, they had something going on between them

kira is a badass. that's it, that's the comment. i like her so much

derek's development is one of the best. i couldn't stand him in season 1, but in s4 he became one of my favourite characters. but i think this has more to do with the fact that they aged him up? he was supposed to be in his early 20s in s1, but then they aged him up in s3? well, anyway, i liked how he literally wised up, stepping into the role of a teacher and guide instead of a leader, it suits him so much better (and i'm sure it's less stressful)

peter is such a charmingly evil bastard. i hate him, but i love him at the same time.

thiam is the best ship in the show, i don't care if it's canon or not. i've read airplanes, it's canon to me

we would've liked (simped for) s5 theo more if he had the same haircut he had in 6b. he was just stupidly hot.

allison and lydia should've kissed and so malia and kira. give me my wlw couples.

[dr-spectre]

man i saw your last two posts and i wanted to tell you, you're not cringe, and you're not unlovable

i've had like, one full conversation with you going back and forth on both shared and unshared interests and it had a profound effect on me at the time

I need to unlearn shame, i need to be more open with what i fixate on and what i'm doing (and also the realization i'm definitely on some kind of spectrum), from one chat with someone *loud and proud* like you, how fucking crazy is that?

I hardly know you personally, but it's not hard to gauge how awesome you are, in face of your perceived faults, several of which i share myself, you yap so much but you're so genuine and passionate i and pretty much everyone who sticks here loves to read it, it never gets old, it never gets annoying

you put your whole pussy into innocuous little things about the subject matter, and it's a wonderful thing

you can find friends, you can find love, and you deserve both of those things

this is a little long but it's sentiments i've had for awhile now but no good opportunity to share......

I.... I..... WHA.

WHAT DO I EVEN SAY TO THIS?!?!?! YOU CAN'T DROP THIS IN MY INBOX LIKE THAT!!!

LISTEN... ITS JUST.... I aint awesome!!! Im some 20 year old autistic dude who's too obsessed with a squid woman! How's that awesome!!?!?!? I haven't made an impact on anything... not on the community... not on inkipedia... not on anyone... I have 300 followers... that's nothing...

...or have i?!?! There's no way I could have had an impact on someone... hell even SEVERAL PEOPLE! I just overanalyse stuff that seems so cut and dry but... people are actually positive about my stuff? People say to me that I changed the way they see this important character to me.... BUT THERE'S NO WAY RIGHT?!?!? I still feel like a drop in the ocean. Just a spec of dust!!! I haven't made real change yet... OR HAVE I?! I DON'T KNOW!!! WAAAHHHH!!!

Maybe.... maybe if I have changed one person's perspective, then maybe it was worth it in the first place...

You know. I wanna say that the reason I came to tumblr was because my irl friends aren't into Splatoon and my family gives me a meh shoulder shrug to my interest. It was so difficult for me to explain Splatoon to my parents when Splatoon 3 came out and I picked up the game at launch! So I went here because I felt like it was the best place to express myself. And yeah I'm glad I stuck with it honestly.

I get why my irl friends aren't into Splatoon, they need to buy a multi hundred dollar console that's about to get replaced soon just to play 2 games. And trying to explain to them Nintendo Wii U and Switch emulation is just... I dont even wanna attempt that HAHAHAHA!!!! So I often felt lonely and it felt like I was screaming into a void when talking about Splatoon to them in a discord server. I guess that's where my sense of loneliness comes from.....

I genuinely have NO ONE in real life to talk to about my interests and have someone ACTUALLY listen. I guess that's why I feel cringe and not cool at all. My interests are so nerdy and I'm on the spectrum, my social skills are like D tier. I genuinely cannot talk about myself, i really cant. Its why i have never been in a romantic relationship before.... As a 20 year old dude, that shit fucking stings I'm not even gonna lie. I think about that shit every day. LITERALLY EVERY DAY I'M NOT LYING!!!!

But anyways, I'm getting way too personal on the internet. I don't wanna be some sad sap.

Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I'm not sure if I truly feel like I deserve love but. Thank you anyways. I guess it is a good quality to have that I can ramble and yap and become really focused on something, even if it's not adult things like... getting a job, paying taxes or whatever HAHAHAHA!

[realm-of-rosie]

💭 one sided regrets !!

[ angst, no comfort, red flag characters + emotionally constipated characters, toxic relation / situation-ships, break-ups no make-ups, arguing ]

i. genshin impact [ dottore, alhaitham, scaramouche, and the ways they wished it wasn't like this. ]

ii. angst with no comfort

iii. blog rules | masterlist

iv. i do not stan this level of toxic in real life relationships 😭 *crushes on red flags and red flags only irl*

[ dottore ]

"come on pet," his voice sends a shiver down your spine and not in a good way, "don't you want to make me happy?"

you twist your head to face the man that had his head on your shoulder, his hands dangling a vial of a luminescent liquid in front of your face, and with tears in your eyes, you shake your head, "not like this dottore,"

the Doctor frowns, curling his fingers around the vial and turning his back to you, "what a shame, and here i thought you would do anything for me because you loved me, i suppose i was wrong,"

"i do love you!" you insist.

"and yet you won't do this small thing for me, a little favor for your friend, is that not normal?"

"of course it's normal-"

"and you won't do it? is it not ok for me to ask you-"

"of course it's ok!" you scoff, stomping closer to him, "and it was fine the first few times ok? because you're my friend! but now..." you sigh, breaking eye contact, "this -" you gesture between the both of you "- isn't healthy,"

"and why is that?" he pulls off his mask to reveal his face, eyebrow raised, "why isn't this healthy?"

"you know how i feel about you," your lip quivers, "you know that i admire you in ways that exceed friendship, that i love you, and i know that you don't love me and yet i would do anything if it means i get to be with you, but..."

"but what?" dottore grips your chin, forcing you to look at him, his lips an inch away from yours, "whatever is the matter pet? why do you think i don't love you?"

"don't do that,"

"do what?"

"make me feel guilty,"

"i'm not doing anything,"

you exhale sharply, pulling your face from his grasp, "no," you shake your head, backing away from him, "this isn't ok, ok? if we're truly friends, then this isn't a friendship i want. i don't want a friendship - or relationship of any kind - that i have to second-guess where i stand in the relationship, i don't deserve to walk around eggshells when i'm with you because i don't know if you'll treat me like i'm a fragile little thing or if you'll pretend i'm not there!"

"darling, you're being irrational-"

"stop it," you hiss as you wipe the tears of frustration trickling down your face, "stop this game you're playing, because i don't want to play it anymore,"

dottore only watches as you rush out of the cold darkened room he calls his laboratory, a smirk playing on his lips as he slipped on his mask because he knew you'd come crawling back to him. a small part of his heart - or whatever was left of it, if anything - tugged at him, saying what if you didn't come back anymore, and he frowns.

of course you'd come back, you just had to.

[ alhaitham ]

"oh, so now you want to listen to what i have to say? when i'm about to walk out of the door and out of your life?"

"you never talk to me otherwise!"

"excuse me?" you seethe, turning around to harshly jab your finger in his chest, "you never listen,"

"i do listen-"

"liar," you spit angrily, voice shaky, body trembling from the anger building and building up inside you, eyes welling up with tears. at that moment, you didn't care if you looked pathetic, in your mind, how you looked now was incomparable how you looked when you would chase after him, silently begging for even just an ounce of his attention only to be disappointed beyond belief when he once again said no. no amount of wishing pleading to him or to the archons would make him as much as glance at you.

alhaitham, on the other hand, stands still, shocked as he watches you release every bit of frustration collected over the months of your relationship, his hands twitched to find purchase on your shoulder to at least attempt to comfort you but you recoiled from his touch. but he is a stubborn man, and he still tried to reach for you despite how you tried to add distance between you both. however he did stop when he heard you speak again.

"i hate you," you sniffle, "i hate how you make me feel,"

as he soaked in the words, feeling them sink deep into his bones, wounding tightly around his heart, he didn't stop you from walking out of the door.

[ scaramouche ]

"loving you," you inhale sharply, shaking your head, "hurts,"

scaramouche stares at you blankly.

"loving you wasn't hard because you know what? it wasn't hard to find something to love about you because i love everything about you, and i sure as hell don't regret loving you but it hurts so fucking much,"

"what are you blabbing on about now?" he drawls, perfectly masking how he truly felt inside.

to you, how he never knew that you truly, genuinely loved him remained a mystery to you, but if the man did know, well, he was doing a perfectly wonderful job of acting as though he didn't care at all.

truth be told, he did know, he just didn't believe it.

you shook your head with a smile of disbelief, your lips pursed together, "you wouldn't believe me if i told you,"

"well, you brought it up, might as well spit it out," he turns back to face the city of inazuma as the homes scattered across ritou light up under the setting sun.

it's quiet after that, save for the crickets chirping somewhere in the shrubbery surrounding you both.

"are you going to say something or not?" the irritation evident in scaramouche's voice.

"i..." you stare longingly at his back and your mind is overloaded with all the possibilities that could come following your confession, "i love you, scaramouche,"

again, the crickets fill the air between you both.

"no, you don't," he says quietly, uncharacteristic for him.

"see," you huff, a smidge of frustration escaping in the tone you had, "i told you you wouldn't believe me,"

"instead of chastising me, blame yourself for bringing it up in the first place," scaramouche twirls around to face you, glaring harshly and you stumble backwards, "so what if you love me? do you really think i'm capable of loving? of loving...you?"

something in his eyes change as he says you, and the way he says it sounds almost painful. was it pain? disgust? despair? there was truely no way to find out.

"don't follow me," he says quietly, so quietly that you almost missed it, and there was nothing else you could do but whisper a goodbye into the wind, hoping that the breeze would carry it safely to him.

[zara-renata]

hi. i read your recent fic “wine time with sylus” and had a lot of thoughts. i was typing them as comments in the tumblr post and decided the character limit is just not it. and then i tried to comment on your ao3 post of the fic but realized i’ll probably stain your other readers’ eyes from what i’m about to yap about. so here i am in your ask box im so sorry 😭

so anyway, WHAT A GOOD START TO MY DAY OMG. i actually read the fic earlier (right after i woke up) and was gonna start yapping away but then errands happened 😩 but now i can finally sit down and type!!

xavier’s appearance was such a lovely surprise!!! i love that he offered his support for mc in his own ways, which is so sweet eepy bunny of him 🫶🏼 BUT I AM A SYLUS RAT THROUGH AND THROUGH so i couldn’t help but mentally berate xavier for showing up the next morning and interrupting important relationship development time for crow man and mc 😤

i adore how sylus is such a wine nerd in this. and i can’t help but wonder if you, the wonderful author, are a wine nerd irl too? because the information i’ve gathered from this fic regarding wines and wine testing have been incredibly enlightening!!

and it’s amusing how mc’s thought flow and speed in this seem to be really jittery and all over the place — truly a reflection of how workaholic she’s been. and captain jenna’s “Go home, get your head on straight, and come back rested … and literate again, please.” made me ugly snort LOL

AND WHEN SYLUS HONED IN ON MC’S EXPOSED SHOULDER AND LEGS WHEN WEARING HIS CLOTHES. I SEE YOU BOI 🫵 and the way i cackled at “he is friend shaped, you will not ride the Sylus roller coaster, you will not ride the Sylus roller coaster—“

AND!!! “Yes, my heart’s delight?”!!! ARE U KIDDING ME. AHHHH!!!

and now please allow me to be unhinged for this segment but the last parts of the pic have effectively kickstarted my mind into overdrive. the POTENTIAL KINKS AND THEMES FOR THEIR, AHEM, SPICY ACTIVITIES ARE LIMITLESS. dry humping, sleepy morning sex, size training, thigh grinding, dom!sylus letting mc think she has the reigns and then he just takes over… i have more key words in mind but i shall keep them chained away for the sake of decorum 😭 AND THE LOVE BITE HE GAVE WHEN HE THOUGHT IT WAS A DREAM. WHAT WERE YOU DREAMING ABOUT SYLUS HUH 🤨

and if you ask me what my favorite paragraph is in this entire fic, it would be: “You lie like that for awhile, blissfully listening to his soft breathing, when suddenly you realize that pressed so close to him, you can feel every contour of his body, from your chest against his abdomen, his muscular, silk-covered thigh wedged between your legs, and his apparently very, very big dick pressing into your hip.”

no, i will not elaborate. to spare everyone from my disgraceful thoughts 🧍‍♀️

and it doesn’t help that the announcement on the upcoming multi-banner event came through right after i read the fic. i have a WHOLE NOTHER SET OF YAPPING ABOUT THAT but i shall spare you of this 😆

overall, i am the happiest sylus girlie today for that amazing fic and the new card 🫶🏼💕 WHAT A GREAT DAY, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY TOO

i gotta say, when i woke up this morning i did not expect to be hit with such a horny treatise, but i'm so happy that the vibe of the fic came across in the way it was intended!! i had originally written something a little more explicit, but due to the context of sylus being asleep, i was running into issues regarding consent and the whole thing ended up not feeling as hot as i think this pixel man deserves if i ever get brave enough to write full on smut for him.

first, thank you SO much for reading and for sharing your thoughts on the fic. it's such a joy to know that other people like what i'm contributing to the fandom enough to actually comment and send me asks about it. it's mind-blowing, really. i'm gonna respond to your points with a novel under the cut, including NSFW discussion if people want to avoid it.

second, i fully believe that sylus is a wine snob. he has that dialogue in the destiny cafe that he likes to repeat at me over and over when i just want something sweet from him and keep poking him, where he's like "to forge a new path, one must be... something something brave about finding new flavors" and it's the most pedantic, pretentious shit i've ever heard and i love that for him. so i definitely think it's in character that he would hold court in front of mc and insist on educating mc about his thoughts on the matter of good wine. to answer your question, i'm not a huge wine connoisseur or anything. my partner likes to think that he is, so i've absorbed information through him and also through a few wine tastings and enduring vinophiles like sylus wanting to share their knowledge over the years, but i had to google while i was writing to ensure that i was remembering everything properly. i like a decent bottle that won't give me a headache the next day with just one glass, and that's about it.

i'm also glad you enjoyed mc being a dumpster fire in this one and that it made you laugh!! and xavier is so precious and sweet, i love him so much, and i love that it's consistently hinted that he is batshit insane jealous/horny under his cute exterior. i will never pass up an opportunity to try to honor him all these aspects of him in my stories.

As for the CORE of your ask, to be completely honest i've never written smut before. this is the first time that i'm actually feeling enough inspiration to consistently write, at length, a story that seems to have an actual structure?? but i'm really just flying by the seat of my pants without a fucking plan at all. but i HAVE read a shit-ton of smut, so i'm going to see where the story takes me, and i think you really did get the vibes i was going for in this one--i wanted to build the emotional and physical intimacy through the wine tasting, and also let my take on sylus's sexuality shine through a bit. i definitely see him as utterly animalistic (biting, grinding, scenting, unhinged physical expression of bottomless hunger) contrasted with unbearable tenderness (sleepy morning kisses and fucking). i think you and i are sharing the same braincell in this respect. but like i said, i've never actually written smut before, so i hope you don't get your hopes up too high if it takes a long time to write it, or i chicken out, or if i do write it and it's as sexy as ... well, about as sexy as mc imagines mc to be).

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!!

[bad811content]

listen..mod vitto i love you with my entire heart but PLEASE hear me out zawg

vittorino literally ripped this man rykers teeth out with pliers what do you guys like about him 😟😟 if this man ever saw his glazers irl he would create a shrine out of each and every one of your molars..😓 love you guys tho! couldn’t be me, yall stay safe 😁

In my opinion, you can like a character for the various traits they have, how they act in the narrative along with backstory that is either revealed or implied, how they interact with some of the cast while also condemning their actions. The two are not separate from each other.

I've never once shied away from the fact Vittorino does horrific things to Ryker, sells organs to earn a profit (this is moreso implied), has a harrowing drug addiction and in a way enables Juliek to continue substance abuse, and so on. All those things are real.

At the same time, Vittorino has also undergone and underwent trauma that you and I could not possibly fathom and that has warped his sense of purpose, his belonging and ultimately affected his relationships in the long term. How he changes and how he copes with what he's gone through makes sense and makes him a very compelling and interesting character as someone who has also underwent a lot of trauma. THAT DOES NOT EXCUSE HIM FROM ANYTHING HE DOES IN THIS GAME. THAT DOES NOT EXCUSE HIM FROM ANYTHING HE DOES IN THIS GAME. THAT DOES NOT EXCUSE HIM FROM ANYTHING HE DOES IN THIS GAME.

I also enjoy that he has little quirks about him. He's an artist, there's artwork of him fingerpainting with Amalia and I think that's really sweet. He obviously cares a great deal about Gabriel, although this still needs to be explored further in future chapters. If you pick up the music box and choose the rabbit's route when exploring the Baslicia Catacombs you can actually grant what is essentially a moment of peace for a troubled, amorphized Vittorino before he fades away (which also imo makes me believe he's either going to die or his fate will be left ambiguous but I'm too sick right now to spend too much time thinking on that).

At the same time, no one is expected to like or enjoy characters who do terrible things in the narrative. If you don't like him, that's all good! If you do like him, that's fine too. Just acknowledge what he does in the game and what makes him interesting and flawed.

[dootznbootz]

Hiiiiiii I just saw the character ask thing :))))

Can you tell me about your NOTP, random headcanon and unpopular opinion about Helen of Sparta?

Thank you so much!!!

I'll save the one that'll get me crucified last! 👍

Random headcanon: Both Odysseus and Penelope were given a "photographic memory" by Athena. When Athena had "forsaken" Odysseus it was taken away. Makes it nice because a lot of the more fucked up parts of the Odyssey are a bit more "fuzzy" for him. And he hates feeling "so out of sorts". He gets it back though.

Also Athena technically took Penelope under her "wing" like, one month before Odysseus.

Unpopular Helen Opinion: In MY FICS, (It's okay if you don't agree!) She is built like Rose Quartz from Steven Universe. She doesn't have a perfect "hourglass figure". She's got some pudge on her tummy. Girl is TALL (Demigod) and CHUBBY. One of the important components of Helen and Menelaus' relationship is that they are both strong enough to lift each other. Also she's the most beautiful woman in the world and chubby women are hot af lskdjf She also SUCKS at singing. She's good at wrestling and spear work. (Sparta. I also love athletic women. Plenty of chubby women are also athletic af. If you think otherwise, literally look up women's Olympic sports participants.)

Homies, know that my NOTP can be YOUR OTP and that's okay! We can still love each other and be friends! Ignore the rest if you just don't want to see that, but know that while it kind of will be in my fics, it's probably not in the way you want it to be.

Please don't hate me and know I don't hate you or think I'm "correct"!

It's OdyDio.

These are the reasons why so avoid them if you don't want to read that! :'D This is the only time I will ever be on the "Odysseus hate train" because he's such an asshole to Diomedes.

I feel so bad about it. 😭 I'm a freak who likes Odysseus/Menelaus (Big BROTP) I think it's because Odysseus is just... SO MEAN to Diomedes. And when he's not mean, he's just neutral. There is not really any "Diomedes, you're the best guy!". Especially when have Sthenelus and Diomedes saying I love you to each other To ME, they are like co-workers who work GREAT together on the battlefield and on missions, but never do anything outside of that.

When Diomedes asks for help, Odysseus sprints away from battle. When Diomedes compliments him before the night raid, Odysseus literally is like "Dude, you're not the only person who knows I'm good at stealing. Let's go."

Odysseus, that long-suffering, godlike man, replied: “Son of Tydeus, don’t over-praise me, or censure me. You’re speaking to the Argives,                           who know everything about me. Let’s go. Night is passing quickly. Dawn approaches. The stars have shifted forward. Most of the night                   has passed, two thirds of it, with one third left.”

(Ian Johnston, Book 10)

Odysseus is an asshole but he's still so mean to Diomedes! 😭 ESPECIALLY WHEN DIOMEDES IS SO FUCKING NICE TO ODYSSEUS!!! I know that's what probably makes them so compelling to so many lovely folks but I love fluff BECAUSE I'm so tired of toxic relationships irl. I don't...I don't see how I can make OdyDio fluffy 😥 With OdyDio, I feel like I'm watching my bestie (Diomedes) get back with their toxic ex who mistreats them (Odysseus). Diomedes is actually quite polite to the others. Even when Agamemnon scolds him, he tells Sthenelus to think nothing of it. He compliments Odysseus! He listens to the gods when they tell him "Hey stop fighting!" and listens to Athena! Like he's violent and a killing machine but he's respectful! He's a traumatized, respectful, killing machine! He bitches at Paris but everyone has done that! That's something everyone partakes in /j

It bothers me even more because when Odysseus is with Penelope, he's so wonderful and loving? And that the Odyssey, literally Odysseus' story/Epic, doesn't even really mention Diomedes? That goes to show how little Diomedes means to Odysseus.

And since Odysseus runs away from Diomedes when he asks for help, it boggles my mind that books earlier, he goes into a rage when his friend gets killed!

[...]but hit Leucus, a brave companion of Odysseus, in the groin,                                           as he was dragging Simoeisius away. His hands let go. He fell down on the corpse. Enraged at Leucus’ slaughter, Odysseus strode up, through the front ranks, armed in gleaming bronze. Going in close, he took his stand. Looking round, he hurled his glittering spear. As he threw, Trojans moved back, but the spear found a mark. It hit Democoön, Priam’s bastard son, who had come from Abydos, where he bred horses for their speed.                                    Angry for his friend, Odysseus speared him in the temple.

(Ian Johnston, Book 4)

Odysseus, you prick!!! You go on a rampage when your buddy gets killed but sprint away when your STILL ALIVE BUDDY asks you for help?! ASSHOLE

They ARE kind of friends/frenemies during the end of the war but it's a weird thing where Diomedes cares about Odysseus but Odysseus tolerates him. Like he left him to die. I love Odysseus. He's my special little guy but he treats Diomedes, another special little guy, like shit 😞

They also have a fairly large agegap, (Odysseus being one of the older kings while Diomedes is the youngest. If you bring up pederasty, you will be smited.) and have very little in common other than them both being Athena's pets. Odysseus is a fucked up lil warrior trickster who loves his wife and child more than life itself while Diomedes is a young child soldier boy who is incredibly duty bound and war is where he feels most comfortable.

Also just...Most of anything about OdyDio (fanart/fanfic/etc.) it's of them fighting or bickering or betraying each other or being very sexual. Even OdyPenDio STILL feels very "OdyDio... + Penelope in the footnotes". I already plan to write Odysseus (and Penelope) as Aspec CODED and so I...just really don't care for that??? There's barely ANYTHING of them being soft. BECAUSE THEM TWO TOGETHER just aren't soft... I personally don't like couples that are mean to each other 😭 (I'm not even including the whole "betrayal with the Pallidium" because it makes me sad to think about. I don't consider it canon.)

Menelaus though?

I have plans 😌 These two bring me comfort and are a special brotp

[mysticstarlightduck]

OC Smash or Pass

I was tagged by @writernopal (here)! Thank you so much for this fun Tag! I think I might do a few of these for my OCs, because I adore this tag game (:

Rules: pretty self-explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc)

Augustus Grimmure

Description (I haven't completed his character art yet): Augustus is a tall young man with dark skin and long, curly ashen brown hair - which he usually styles into a very neat ponytail with a purple ribbon. He has hazel eyes that can glow red or purple depending on which magic he uses. Augustus usually wears a long dapper suit/coat (in the colors of either white, dark purple, green, or charcoal black), along with a silk ruffle tie and other Victorian-style clothing, he also has dark circles under his eyes and may wear gloves from time to time. Has a sharp smile. He is heavily near-sighted and often wears spectacles/glasses (when possible) reinforced by magic - which might be because I wanted a glass-wearing protagonist in this book because I personally can't see shite without my glasses IRL (:

Basic Facts:

Height - 6 ft (around 1.80m)

Age - 19, soon to be 20

Gender - Male

Pronouns - He/Him

Occupation: Necromancer

Sexuality - An extremely hot, very romantic, Asexual straight man

Pros:

HUGGER! Once he's grown to love you that is. Augustus loves to show how much he cares by holding hands, cuddling, running hands through your hair, and (especially) hugging. He wants a relationship to be something special.

Augustus is very brave, and it takes a lot to faze him, especially since he is one of the most powerful beings in Ansburke, but even if he weren't he doesn't hesitate to face risks if it means doing something he considers right - especially when it comes to protecting the one he loves.

Dark Academia aesthetic (more like Chaotic Academia lmao) incarnate, and very gothic-coded. A romance with him has strong Gomez/Morticia vibes (this is legit the best way I could describe it), it's all about finding love in the dark and even macabre. He's also hopelessly devoted, and quite the romantic underneath his chaotic exterior.

Intelligent and witty, with a wild sense of humor. Will not hesitate to pull a carefully thought-out prank on someone if it makes you both laugh. Is also known for his clever comebacks, especially to those who already have it coming.

A good listener. Even if he is not particularly interested in whatever it is you are talking about, he will lend you his attention and let you finish your vent, however long it may be. He's also very good at problem-solving, having a scholar's mindset.

Neutral Facts (that may be pros or cons to some):

Augustus is somewhat inspired by the story of Victor Frankenstein (this character was born of the question I once asked myself - "What if Frankenstein wasn't insane and was a sorcerer instead of a scientist?"). This means he inherits a bit of a mad scientist's disregard for rules and tradition.

He doesn't enjoy sexual intimacy or acts of that nature at all, even though he isn't particularly sex-repulsed - he's asexual, and personally just finds sex a useless and slightly disturbing waste of time. That doesn't mean he doesn't like other kinds of intimacy - as mentioned before, once he gets truly close to someone, he's quite the hugger. (Btw, his love languages are Quality Time and (non-sexual) Physical Touch.)

Cons:

Has severe trust issues. While on the surface Augustus has a very personable and polite behavior towards anyone that doesn't personally irk him (when he isn't feeling particularly petty), he believes that "everyone is out to achieve their own personal goals at all costs" and that in their cutthroat world, everyone is looking to get the upper hand on someone else, so the walls around his heart (beyond a superficially friendly relationship) are quite tall and armored. He would never betray someone who trusts him but is constantly expecting to be personally betrayed. It takes a lot to prove that you truly care for him with no strings attached, but it is worth it when you finally do!

Extended lifespan - while it means no human can truly kill him (whilst he is under the constraints of his contract to the Deathbringer, a fae demon he made a deal with) during your adventures, it also means that you, a human, will eventually get older much quicker than him and die long before him - unless he's broken his Oath, which would return his lifespan back to a normal human's.

Does have a bit of morbid/dark humor natural to any necromancer so, while it can lead to funny and slightly unhinged interactions, he doesn't quite understand why some people consider his deathly jokes as inappropriate (even though he means no harm, that's just his sense humor and how he views te world).

His devotion has a "dark side" (to him) that comes out in the form of self-sacrificial tendencies and will fight Gods if prompted, with no second thoughts about his own safety, if it means keeping the select few people he trusts away from harm. Has no qualms about killing his enemies to achieve that as well.

Tagging (gently, no pressure): @lassiesandiego, @oh-no-another-idea, @writernopal, @tabswrites, @rickie-the-storyteller, @steh-lar-uh-nuhs, @little-peril-stories, @clairelsonao3, @jasperygrace, @jay-avian, @forthesanityofstorytellers, @aziz-reads, @doublegoblin, @gummybugg, @autumnalwalker, @olivescales3, @junypr-camus, @ashen-crest, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams, @bardicbeetle @talesofsorrowandofruin, @mitchell-nihil, @pluttskutt, @saltysupercomputer, @stesierra and @dreaminggoblin

[blnk338]

COD HEADCANONS 2

Here's the link to the first b/c y'all loved it sm ty &lt;3

Go read my Ghost x Reader on AO3 | Reap What You Sow

Relationship hcs!!!

Gaz:

Undiagnosed dyslexia

Soap will say some dumb shit about it and Gaz will fire back with something like “you need autocorrect irl b/c no one can fucking understand you”

Hates winter; this is a summer boy!

Ghost told him that Soap’s Halloween party was a dress-up party, but Gaz took it as a sexy dress-up party and came in a slutty nun outfit

Ghost had to go to the bathroom because he was tearing up from trying to hold back his laughter

Can’t pull all-nighters

This bitch NEEDS 8 hours or he’s not happy

Like… he can pull them, but you unlock this secret character trait of “ultimate fucking bitch Kyle”

Got really into Overwatch and then didn’t tell anyone after it died (pre OW2), then was fucking insane at every character when OW2 came out

Soap hates his ass for this

Flexes, only character he doesn’t like is Hanzo (still upset about the scatter arrow removal)

Tinyass bladder

“I have to pee”

“WE LEFT EIGHT MINUTES AGO WHAT DO YOU MEAN?”

Really gentle with his friends, him and Soap’s bromance goes crazy like they’ll do that thing where they almost kiss and they pull back and go “WOAAAAAAH WOAHHHHHHH”

Thinks hairless cats are gross

Ghost:

The kind of guy to sit back and watch shit unfold unless the person who (is getting / is about to get) their shit rocked is someone he respects

Previously had an allergy to shellfish

Raw dogged it until the allergy literally went away

Exposure therapy, man

Knows what “L + Ratio” means and HAS used it against Soap once

Soap and Gaz lost their fuckin beans when he said it and they’ve never forgotten it

Sorta plain texter – really just like “K,” “Ok,” “Did you eat.”

Doesn’t use a lot of question marks

No question marks or really any punctuation other than a period at the end of EVERY text

Doesn’t use Apple emojis or Android, but the text version

Like :)

BUT ALWAYS ENDS THEM IN A PERIOD :).

Eventually unlearns this but ending everything like a sentence lasted for a while

He won’t say openly if he’s annoyed, but will add a little extra sharpness to his stare

Great at FPS games, chooses to not use the mic because he likes shitting on dumb mfkrs and listening to them bitch when he wins 1v1’s

Played OW for Soap and Gaz and got really fucking good at Zen, but almost always plays DPS

Learned how to build computers and finds it really relaxing

Soap and Gaz both asked for him to make them PCs and he said “no,” then did both of them in the span of one 3-week break cycle

Knows everyone’s addresses

How the fuck does he know everyone’s addresses

Definitely the guy to say a random set of numbers pretending like its someone’s IP address

“The Riley Murders” is a popular true-crime segment; literally avoids all true-crime media because of this

Not really a fan of the holidays, but he does put in the effort to be at the 141 parties and get-togethers for his team

Panic attacks for him aren’t obvious. He just stands there, holding his gaze at one spot while he clenches his jaw/fist, trying to push out the ringing in his ears

Doesn’t dress up for Halloween or does the bare minimum (antlers on top of his head, a single bowtie, etc)

Alejandro:

Uses all emojis

ESPECIALLY THE CATS

Weird about how much he likes Minions

Fucked up knee from tearing his ACL as a kid

Like his knees pop when he kneel down and shit

Bros so anti-drug he doesn’t like prescription drugs

*Bleeding out* “Tylenol? Why would I need that?”

His whole house is carpeted aside from the kitchen

No, you don’t understand. Carpeted bathrooms

Man has cold feet

Socks and indoor slippers but he’s got those luxury Ugg slippers that he wears religiously

Hates it when people chew with their mouth open

WILL MENTION IT

Plays Candy Crush

Owns an old Dell laptop, doesn’t play PC or console games

Price:

POP POP POP his joints are shit but good enough for the army ig

Tried yoga, didn’t have enough motivation to keep going, but still says he does yoga (it’s been like four years n Laswell gets on his ass about it)

“Overwatch? We’re off right now, why are we talking about this?”

“You have three guys on you? What are you talking about?”

Confused dad

Heavyweight drinker; man likes his beers

Gaz called him "dad" once and he owns it like a fucking medal

Says “back in my day” to fuck with everyone

Sings the Star Spangled Banner in the most heinously British accent he can

He only knows “Oh say can you see, by the dawns early light, oh so proud…” and then bullshits the rest

Soap:

Bisexual. No preference.

Not really a “will kiss anyone” but more of a “please let me kiss someone”

Flirts with fuckin’ anyone and everyone but the issue is that he just doesn’t stay in one place because of work, so unless he’s dating someone in the field (which is super rare), it’s mostly just flings

“Guys, let’s do the brown note endurance contest.” (Google “brown note youtube”)

Spells Spongebob like “Spunch Bob”

“I am not paid enough to do that.”

OW junkie, but likes story games a lot

Support/Tank main (Mercy and Reinhardt)

The Last Of Us fucking ended him; fav character is Joel :)

Hard of hearing in his right ear

Yells “WOT?” all the fucking time