#List of Indiana Jones characters

[courseyoulovemeyoudontknowme]

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984, Steven Spielberg)

15/03/2024

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is a 1984 adventure film directed by Steven Spielberg. It is the second installment of the Indiana Jones franchise, a prequel to the film Raiders of the Lost Ark, with Harrison Ford reprising the title role. After arriving in India, desperate villagers ask Indiana Jones to find a mystical stone and save their children from a Thuggee cult that practices child slavery, black magic, and human sacrifice rituals honoring the goddess Kali.

Not wanting to present the Nazis as villains again, George Lucas, executive producer and co-writer, decided to treat this film as a prequel.

The film was released on May 23, 1984, to financial success, but initial reviews were mixed, criticizing its darker elements, strong violence and gore, as well as Capshaw's performance as Willie Scott; however, critical opinion improved over time, citing the film's intensity and imagination. In response to the film's more violent sequences, and with similar complaints about Gremlins, Spielberg suggested that the MPAA change its rating system, which it did within two months of the film's release, creating a new PG-13 rating. It won the Academy Award for best special effects.

A sequel, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade followed in 1989.

In 1935 Indiana Jones survives an assassination attempt by poisoning by Lao Che, a Shanghai crime boss and businessman who hired him to recover the remains of Emperor Nurhaci. With his young orphaned Chinese sidekick, Short "Shorty" Round, and a nightclub singer, Willie Scott, Indy escapes Shanghai on a cargo plane, unaware that the plane is owned by Lao Che. While the three sleep, the pilots dump the fuel and escape with parachutes, leaving the plane to crash into the Himalayas.

They are welcomed by the inhabitants of a impoverished Indian village, who ask for their help to recover the sacred stone (shivalinga) stolen from their shrine, together with their missing children, by evil forces in the nearby Pankot Palace. The inhabitants had prayed to the god Shiva for help, and when they saw Jones they believed him to be their savior.

Deviating on the road to Delhi, Indy, Willy and Shorty receive a warm welcome at Pankot Palace and are allowed to stay overnight as guests, partaking in a sumptuous, but revolting, banquet hosted by the young maharajah. His officials reject Indy's theory that the Thuggee cult is responsible for the poor village's fate. Indy discovers a secret tunnel in Willie's bedroom and sets out to explore it, overcoming a series of pitfalls. Eventually Indy, Willie and Shorty find the Temple of Evil, where they witness a human sacrifice made in the name of the goddess Kali.

Thuggee high priest Mola Ram forces Indy to drink Kali's blood, which puts him into a trance state where he mindlessly serves the cult. After recovering the stones, saving Willie and freeing the children, Indy fights a huge overseer, who is dragged into a crusher, crushed to death.

Then they come to a precarious suspension bridge over a crocodile-infested river, where they are surrounded by Thugs. Thanks to the intervention of Captain Blumburt and the army sent by the maharajah, Jones, Willie and Shorty are saved and the surviving Thugs are cornered and arrested by other soldiers.

From the first discussions regarding Indiana Jones, George Lucas expressed his intention to produce a trilogy and requested Steven Spielberg's commitment to direct three films. The first episode of the saga, Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), had only been released in cinemas for a couple of weeks when plans began for the sequel, which actually turned out to be a prequel, being set a year before the previous film.

[snekdood]

lmao???

this quiz sorts through characters from like dozens of fandoms and finds the one you’re most like. I’m not even a little bit surprised by my result

[c-is-for-circinate]

It feels like there's this narrative that fandom keeps wanting to explore, with Steve Harrington, about this very specific type of martyrdom where self-sacrifice is an expression of a lack of self-worth. And, like, yes, write the narrative that's meaningful to you, and yes ok Steve does admittedly get beaten up a lot, but -- legitimately I do not think this narrative is actually Steve's story.

Like, without gendering things too much, there is something in the Steve fanon that I keep seeing that's so reflective of the specific kind of sacrifice and societal pressures exerted on girls, specifically -- this story of 'you make yourself worthy and worthwhile by carving pieces out of yourself', of believing that you must always give and never receive to justify the space you take up in the world. Yes, boys can experience this same pressure (and obviously trans and nb people of all genders run into it as well! sometimes a lot!), but especially in the mid-1980s cultural context where Stranger Things takes place, it's just...really not likely to be a dominant narrative for Steve to be operating under? It doesn't even really match the Steve we see on screen -- who is happy to make sacrifices for the sake of others, yeah, when needed, but who's not particularly kind or giving unless somebody asks first.

And Steve does get hurt a lot on other people's behalf! And this is a problem! It's just a completely different problem than the one fandom keeps writing.

Steve, and I'm going to say this forever, is a story about toxic masculinity, which the show may or may not even know it's writing. The archetypes influencing Steve's character as it shows up on the screen (and the stories and messages that Steve would actually be surrounded by in his actual life) are not deconstructions of suffering heroes who never should have had to fight in the first place and were destroyed by it. That's the Buffy the Vampire Slayer story. Steve's not Buffy. Steve's cultural context is Indiana Jones.

Steve is The Guy! And part of being The Guy is that you're expected to take the hits -- not because Steve is less important than the women-and-children he's supposed to protect, but because, the story says, he will get less hurt. Why should Steve get in between Billy and Lucas? Because Steve is an eighteen-year-old athlete and Lucas is in middle school, and of the two of them, Steve actually stands a chance. (And yes, Steve got badly hurt there, and Max had to save him -- but if Lucas, if Max had taken that beating they would not have been running through those tunnels later.) Was somebody else better-qualified to dive down to the uncertain bottom of a cold lake in the middle of the night? Steve doesn't list his credentials there as a way of justifying some ideal of martyrdom; he is literally the most likely person on the boat not to drown.

And make no mistake: when Steve's pulled into the Upside-Down, he survives the bats long enough for backup to get there. Realistic or not, he's apparently tough enough that he's physically capable of hiking barefoot through hell without much slowing down. Steve is the tank for the same reason as any tank: because he literally has been shown to have the most hit points in the group. You cannot honestly engage with Steve in this context without dealing with the fact that he's right.

AND THIS IS A PROBLEM! This is still a problem! But it's not the same problem that fandom seems to expect. It's not an expression of caretaking or the need for self-sacrifice; it's not an issue with Steve valuing himself less. It's an issue of toxic masculinity so ingrained that Steve doesn't even recognize he's suffering from it, because one of the tenets of toxic masculinity is that Big Strong Guys don't suffer. It's just a concussion, it's fine, he'll walk it off. It's not that Steve thinks he deserves to get hurt, or even that he's less deserving of safety than the others. It's that absolutely nothing in his cultural context allows him to admit that he can be hurt in a significant way.

There's still so much tension that can be gotten out of this situation, I swear. There's so much that can be explored in writing! Hell, the show itself is deconstructing some of this trope, believe it or not, by giving us a Steve who absolutely can take all the hits thrown his direction but still doesn't know what the fuck he's doing with his life. It turns out that doing his job as The Guy is only mildly helpful in horror movie situations (mostly by buying time for smarter, squishier people to do the damage from behind him), and somewhere a little worse than useless in everyday life.

But Steve does not go out of his way to self-sacrifice, he really doesn't. He just does his job. He's The Guy. Of course he's not going to let a kid or a girl or some scared skinny nerd who just learned about monsters yesterday take the hits. Of course Steve's got this.

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Can I just say that no one I've ever read writes the relationship between exes as well as you do (I'm still aflutter over Procedure).

So I was wondering what the exes relationships are like for other characters you write for? Are they semi-perminent in each others lives despite the split or are they 'and they never spoke again' people?

Were you looking for an answer that includes the dozens of men on my Wildly Inappropriate Chart? No, probably not.

Are you getting one? Absolutely. (Full list and breakout below the cut)

Will put you in a simulation to make you love him again

Frank (Don’t Worry Darling)

Will ignore you

Stewy Hosseini

Kendall Roy

Don Draper

Percival Graves

Sherlock Holmes (Enola Holmes verse)

Abel Morales

Orlando Oxford

Daniel Le Domas

Will secretly keep tabs on you

Javier Peña

James Bond

Tommy Shelby

Diego Jimenez

Gurney Halleck

Horacio Carrillo

Chris Argent

Marc Specter

Duncan Idaho

Eddie Brock

Frank Castle

Boba Fett

Will reappear to fuck up the vibe just after you've managed to move on

Raymond Smith

Don Eppes

Carmy Berzatto

Indiana Jones

Nathan Bateman

Duke Leto Atreides

Ray Merrimen

Santiago Garcia

Dean Winchester

Bruce Wayne

Angel Reyes

Oberyn Martell

Benny ‘Borracho’ Magalon

Patrick Zweig

Will be friendly to the best of his abilities but will struggle with the fact that he's still in love with you

Steve Rogers

Andy Barber

Jonathan Levy

George Russell

Harvey Specter

Jake Seresin

Eddie Munson

Josh Lyman

Rhett Abbott

Anthony Bridgerton

Will make you fall back in love with him with one smile, sweeping shoulder touch, and a soft but meaningful, “Long time, no see...How are you?”

Benny Miller

Bradley Rooster Bradshaw

Will Miller

Bucky Barnes

Rafael Barba

Christopher Pike

Frankie Morales

Marcus Pike

Matt Murdock

Poe Dameron

Art Donaldson

[probadbatch]

Time for some more Phee love

I have to admit that I was not a Phee fan at first. Wanda Sykes is one of those people who just gets on my nerves for absolutely no reason so when I saw she was going to be in TBB, I was less than thrilled. And her first introduction didn't really have me changing my mind. But I enjoyed the Indiana Jones episode (Entombed? I think?) with her and started to like her just a bit more then. She was kinda fun.

And then I saw Pabu.

The way she melted into the squad like she had always been there was huge for me. She gets these guys. They like her. They work well together. And the way she cared about Omega? Wanting her to get normal childhood experiences like friends her own age who aren't related to her? She wasn't just trying to get a backup team from the boys. She genuinely cared about them.

And then she offered the squad her home. They needed a place to belong and she gave it to them without even hesitating. And when we get there, we learn that she's not just a pirate making a quick buck for herself. Oh sure, she'll do that too but she does have values and she cares about a lot more than what she can get for herself.

There is a depth to Phee that takes a few episodes to find but once you see it, it's clear that she is a good and decent person. She's brash and blunt and courageous and loyal. She's adventurous and fun and she's never met a challenge she wasn't up for. She's guarded and cautious with her heart and she is so open and loving and generous when she finds someone worth trusting.

For heck's sake, she bickers with her droid endlessly but how many times has she rebuilt Mel? More than once, we know for sure. Phee loves fiercely and wholly and she will go to the ends of the galaxy for those she cares about.

And oh goodness I do love that she's still there for the squad this season. It would have been so easy to walk away after losing her primary link to them but she stayed. She's there so fully and so unflinchingly that it's obvious she never even thought twice about it. Phee shows up when they need her most and they tell her they want to do something that is frankly suicidal and doesn't even blink - sounds like fun, sign her up, let's do it! They didn't even have to ask her to tag along. All they really asked for was a ride off Pabu. But there was never a question that she would be there with them, for them, with whatever they needed.

She's the kind of character that makes me like the actress who plays her, despite my previous opinions. I don't know about you guys but for me, that is a short list with scarce company.

Phee is one of the best.

[max--phillips]

Indiana just launched a “snitch line” for people to report schools for teaching about LGBTQ issues, Black history, and other topics.

On Monday, the AG, Todd Rokita, launched this “Eyes on Eduction” portal where students, parents, and teachers alike can report… “objectionable curricula, policies, or programs affecting children.” While they hide behind the suggestion that this is to stop “political ideology - either left or right” from being forced on kids, we all know that this is really a tip line for parents to complain that someone told their kid gay people exist or slavery was a real thing that happened to Black people.

I’m not going to lie, despite this being from the office of the attorney general, I don’t think this is much more than a wall of shame functionally. The AG’s office looks at submissions, takes the credible ones, and publishes them on the portal for anyone to see. The PDFs of the so-called evidence also include names of teachers.

Anyway, unsurprisingly, people have been flooding the portal with junk submissions, as pointed out by the wonderful Erin Reed (@/ErinInTheMorn on Twitter) in her article on the portal:

A report that Godzilla was witnessed with a trans flag

Indiana Jones slapping a Nazi

A report of a famous picture of Trump next to Rudy Giuliani in drag

Multiple reports citing the Bible for teenage pregnancy

A confession purporting to be from Breaking Bad character Walter White

The script for the Bee Movie (classic)

The script to Oppenheimer

The script for Eurotrip, with a note not to tell Scotty

Young Sheldon saying “Bazinga”

So ALL OF THAT IS TO SAY. Here's another link to the portal. Whatever you do, don't add to the list above and flood the portal, making it nearly impossible for the poor AG's office to sort through all the submissions and find credible submissions! That would be sooo uncalled for.

Anyway, side note for you: if you're thinking to yourself, "damn, Todd Rokita, that name sounds awfully familiar," you may be thinking of the time in 2022 he said he was going to investigate Dr. Caitlin Bernard for providing an abortion procedure to a 10 year old girl who had fled Ohio to receive care because Ohio's abortion ban did not provide an exception for minor children who became pregnant as a result of rape. Ultimately, Indiana state courts found him to have violated the law and engaged in attorney misconduct due to his public statements on the situation. Yet, he is still AG. This guy has sucked as long as I can remember. He was Secretary of State of Indiana from 2002-2010, then he was a member of the US House of Representatives from Indiana's 4th district (which my hometown is unfortunately a part of) from 2011-2019, and has now been AG since 2021. For perspective, I was born in 1997--the year he joined the Secretary of State's office as general counsel, then later became deputy secretary of state. He's been doing his damndest to ruin this state as long as I've been alive.

Also, his birthday is Friday (February 9th) according to his wikipedia page. Definitely don't give him any birthday presents by way of the submission portal, okay? Good talk

[peacekeeperangel]

The CRK Pirate OC Challenge!

Hello everyone! So I've set up a little list of prompts for writing/drawing for all these Pirates I've been seeing wandering across my field as of late. But I'm going to make it a little more interesting.

If possible please either pick up four Six-Sided dice or use this dice generator and roll out a random number- that number will be your prompt! Cause pirates live on chance y'see?

If you take this challenge please do not read your options before you roll, but if you are uncomfortable with the result do go ahead and re-roll. Thank you and I hope you enjoy these prompts

1. Lunch! Your crew is having a meal in the ship’s mess. Do they behave themselves? What are they eating? BONUS: you show either the Cooking process or the cleanup

2. Dead End Race- your oc is sailing in competition with other oc pirate crews! (Bonus: What is the prize at the end?)

3. Your Crew have somehow made it to the Vanilla Kingdom! Costume swap for the win? (Note: If you don’t follow the CRK game/lore feel free to re-roll)

4. Soon May the Wellerman Come~ pick an appropriately sea-themed song for this prompt!

5. UNO REVERSO! Your OC has done a complete 180! What do they look/act like now?

6. Someone on the Crew has done a Naughty. How does your OC punish their sailor? 7. Sea Monster Attack! It’s up to your OC’s crew to save their ship. How does it go?

8. Your OC has gotten sick. Who looks after them and do they behave as a patient? BONUS: How’d they get sick anyway?

9. Your Crew have somehow made it to the Hollyberry Kingdom! Costume Swap for the win? (Note: if you don’t follow the CRK game/lore feel free to re-roll) 10. Someone needs to look after the Cannons. Does it go well or does it go poorly? 11. Bananas and Coconuts. No I will not explain further, your OC must deal with Bananas and Coconuts.

12. Your OC encounters a pool of water that turns everything it touches into solid gold. How did they discover it and how do they deal with it? 13. Your OC encounters a very snooty treacherous noble who has your OC dead to rights. How does your character Jack Sparrow their way out of this one?

14. Draw your OC as a human/meme. If you’re doing this as a writing challenge then you must write a story with as many dad jokes as possible!

15. Drinking Contest! Team up with a friend and have your OC’s in a drinking competition! Decide the winner by rolling a six-sided die, the winner will be whoever rolls higher! (Note: if you’re too nervous to ask anyone, please re-roll)

16. Your OC got into a bind and now must use their Charisma to escape. Are they successful or cringey?

17. Your Crew have somehow made it to the Dark Cacao Kingdom! Costume Change FTW? (Note: if you do not follow the CRK game/lore feel free to roll for a new prompt!)

18. Things are getting Lovecraftian around here. How does your OC cope with the squishy horribleness of it all?

19. A Captain must go down with their ship. Depict the last stand of your OC

20. Mutiny on board! What does your OC do? 21. Your Crew has Made it to the Golden Cheese Kingdom! Costume change for the win? (Note: if you don’t follow CRK game/lore feel free to re-roll)

22. GIANT BOULDER! AKA, your OC’s Indiana Jones moment. How do they handle it?

23. Depict your OC’s proudest moment.

24. Time for bed. Depict your OC sleeping (Bonus: Make it Wholesome/spicy as you see fit) EDIT BONUS: If you have Completed all 24 Prompts you must have the dreaded CABIN FEVER! Draw/write your OC concequences suffering Cabin Fever

[thatonebirdwrites]

Compilation of fic I've Written

Here's a masterlist of Fics I've written. I will update this periodically as I write stuff and share it.

On AO3:

TLOK: How Was Those Three Years?

TLOK: Asami's Hidden Box of Letters and Poetry

TLOK: Is This A Romance?

TLOK: Spirit World Vacation

TLOK: Shared Moments Series: Book 1, Book 1.5, Book 2, Book 2.5, Book 3, and Book 3.5

Supergirl: Supercorp Endgame Series: Confession and Unraveling Realities

Supergirl: Terminal Velocity, Texts, and Cats

Supergirl: You Are the Only One Who Sees Me, Trusts Me, and Believes in Me

Supergirl: Reach For The Sky

Supergirl: Tear Apart the World To Save You

Supergirl: Lena's Grimorie

Supergirl: Books of Destiny (where most of my oneshots will be posted)

Supergirl: You Call This Archaeology?

Supergirl: Shattered

Supergirl: Supercorptober 2024

Supergirl: Cheating Death (originally posted to tumblr in four parts but finally up on AO3)

On Tumblr (Slowing porting to AO3):

Supergirl: Boardgame Practice

Supergirl: Kara crashing Lena's Date

Supergirl: Reach For The Sky (Hiking and Recovery)

Supergirl: Indiana Jones AU Idea for Supercorp

Supergirl: Sam Confronts Kara Over Her Hurting Lena

Supergirl: Kara's Love of Misshapen Pumpkins

Supergirl: Confession

TLOK: Rain and Thunder AU

Supergirl: An Analysis of Risk (my continuation of FazedLight's ficlet)

TLOK: Endless Autumn

Supergirl: Balcony Scene

Supergirl: She Wants Me For Me

Supergirl: Medieval AU

Supergirl and TLOK: Crossover Shenanigans

Supergirl: Color Out of Space

Supergirl: Building Inspection and Lava

Supergirl: Happy and Carefree

Supergirl: Some of Lena's Handmade Spells

Supergirl: The Food Stand

Supergirl: Secret Wedding

Supergirl: The Golden Potato

Supergirl: Lena Regrets Reading Supergirl Smut (But not really)

Supergirl: Matching Tattoos

Supergirl and TLOK: A tale of Two Gentle Moments Supergirl: Cold of Death, Warmth of Love

My Original Fiction (characters from my Elivera world): A Short Trip

Supergirl: Memories

Supergirl: Fallout AU

Supergirl: Nia's Lessons on Intuition

Korrasami: Alternate Start to Book 3.5

Supergirl: Shattered excerpt 1 and Excerpt 2

Supergirl: Kara Finally Gets It With Mxy's Help

Original Fiction: Excerpt from The Lost Ones

Supergirl: The Watch

Supergirl: You're not even a real woman

Supergirl: Cheating Death and Part 2 and Part 3 and Part 4

Supergirl: Kara, the Fourth Worldkiller

Essays:

Ethical Problems With DEO

Infodump on Tea

Nonfiction Essays Concerning Issues That Impact Human Beings

Ableism used as a Buzz Word and an Analysis on Accessible Spaces

Actions Folks Can Take In These Scary Times

Some Rules for this blog

Apparently, I can only pin one post? I edited in this seven point list on 10/9/2024. I wanted to be clear on a few things about this blog:

Please do not request me to write smut or draw smut. I write what I feel comfortable writing. If I feel comfortable enough to write that I will. Thank you for understanding.

I'm disabled with several chronic illnesses, and I'm a system. Please do not make jokes that are rooted in ableism (nor make jokes rooted in transphobia). That will end up a block for sure.

I'm currently being very careful about who I reply to regarding messages to me. If you don't get a reply from me, it has nothing to do with you.

Sending me pictures of you that has your face easily identifiable freaks me out, please don't. Especially if we don't know each other well. (I'm still working on being able to say no, which is hard for me. Sometimes an alter may do it for me, but I'm trying to work on that too since they tend toward a burn it down approach which isn't healthy either.)

But Bird, what if it's a really cool thing? If the picture is of the following, then it's okay: * mechanical thing (I love planes, trains, and robots) * a cute pet * scenery * an animal or insect * fun science experiment results * picture of space * Your art (as long as its not a self-portrait)

Feel free to message me about my writings and art. Remember to be kind! (I like to make friends, but just remember the above points. Also, sometimes it takes awhile to respond because of my poor health.)

I will update this post with what I've written within a few days of when I wrote it. If I posted my writing to both Tumblr and AO3 at the same time (such as with Supercorptober), I'll only include the AO3 link.

Okay, that's it. I wish I could have pinned two posts.

Thanks for reading!

[distinguisheddwarffriend]

Today on Hobbit-Headcanons:

What would the company of Thorin Oakenshield enjoy about the Modern World?

One of my WIP transports the company to our world shortly before they're supposed to reach Rivendell, and into the apartment of my OFC.

So here is a list of things I think each character would enjoy about the Modern World:

Thorin: Google Maps, Siri (will totally argue with her like she's real), Shows like The Crown, Game of Thrones, but also Bridgerton, Democracy (yes you read that correctly), Rock music

Fili: Birth Control (can finally fuck around without risking the royal lineage), Superhero Movies (has an huuuhe crush on Black Widow), Tinder, Martial Arts, Feminism, Henley shirts to show of his muscles, bars & clubs

Kili : TikTok (LOVES cat videos, Top Content Creator about Archery, 'deep thoughts'/rambling, 'prank my uncle/brother with me', does EVERY challenge, accidental thirsttraps & flustered by the comments), Parkour, Man Buns & (Hipster-) Fashion, LGBTQ+ - Community , karaoke bars, team sports, the zoo

Bofur: modern music (especially pop songs with dirty lyrics), Tumblr (is no. 1 shit-poster), music festivals, arts&crafts blogs, Christopher's Streets Day

Bifur: Google Translate, Modern Medicine, Pain Medication, ASL, RomComs (trust me), helps out in an animal shelter, country music

Bombur: Cooking Shows (has his own Online Show), Kindergarten (he had so many children, the reprieve would be SO appreciated), international foodstuff to try

Dwalin: Guns, MMF, store-bought cookies, sport shows (AGRESSIVE fan for whatever team he randomly picks), Barbecues

Balin: Twitter (the political possibilities!!!), mental healthcare (he's sending the whole line of Durin he had no time for their shit), Spa Days, public schools, classical music

Oin: Modern Medicine (Duh), hearing aids, physiotherapy

Gloin: bitcoins, the stock market, Facebook (posts daily about Gimli)

Dori: hair tutorials, fashion shows, tracking devices (has totally microchipped a drunk Nori at some point)

Nori: hacking, movies with the lovable rogue as the MC (Pirates of the Carribbean, Deadpool etc.), spy movies (duh), the mafia (yes, he becomes a boss within weeks)

Ori: Wikipedia, public libraries, tutorials for EVERYTHING (knitting, cutting your own hair, how to talk to royalty, fancy war cries, you name it), fantasy novels, public schools

Bilbo: Food blogs, the "ignore call"-button, Instagram, university (will mayor in at least three subjects), museums

Gandalf: the Internet as a whole, email/ instant messaging, yard sales, modern weed, museums (has a knack for finding cursed items), adventure movies (after watching Indiana Jones he seriously debated obtaining a whip)

[midnightsun-if]

If the MC was to dress up as something sexy for Halloween what specific costumes would cause the RO’s to lose all control the minute they saw MC in it?

Koda: I think he’d love to see you in something regarding like a homey feel, you know? Something that he could derive comfort in just by looking at you. Plus, it’s an added bonus that he knows the costume itself is comfortable too.

Scarlett: Your birthday suit? As it is her birthday and truly that’s the only thing that’d make the entire day better. Of course, it’d only be a sight for her. (In a more serious note, I think Scarlett would love seeing you in something that’d link you to her; even if it means she’d have to dress up in couples costume.)

Cyrus/Cyra: Anything to do with fire or fire adjacent characters. It’s something that’d bring them immense joy at seeing you in a symbol that means so much to them. They’d just have to show their appreciation for it.

Quinn: Honestly? If you dressed like you were going to yoga or on a run… That’d do it for them. They have a very low bar when it comes to those sort of things, but they can’t deny how they love seeing the yoga pants hug you just right.

Caden: I don’t know if they truly have a preference. Halloween has never truly been something they’ve paid attention to— probably due to being a Phantom and not needing to add another spooky thing on their list. As long as you like what you’re wearing? That’ll do.

Sloane: Maybe dressed as a biker? Seeing you in all that leather would definitely do things to them. But, I can also see them enjoying see you dress up as classic adventure characters too— Lara Croft/Indiana Jones (that sort of thing).

Blake: The classic sexy things… Sexy nurse, sexy angel, sexy devil, etc. They’re quite predictable in that way but you could be dressed as a nun and they’d still find you absolutely irresistible.

Regina/Reginald: They are a diehard comic book junkie and would absolutely die if the MC dressed up as a hero or villain. (Honestly they’d try to rope the entire dorm into going as DC Heroes/Villains or Marvel Heroes/Villains.)

[hanasnx]

⿻ CHARACTER LIST — !

MINORS DNI 18+ ༄

"We want more than the wars of our fathers." — Switchfoot. (2003). Meant to Live.

TIP: bold is current favorites in which i respond to the quickest.

── characters ┆ EVERY CHARACTER I'VE EVER WRITTEN ON THIS BLOG (DOES NOT INCLUDE GIFTS).

dc comics ¡! ❞

✩ bruce wayne ✩ dick grayson ✩ terry mcginnis ✩ jason todd ✩ talon ✩ dr. manhattan ✩ wally west ✩ j’onn j’onzz ✩ nanaue ✩ tim drake

marvel ¡! ❞

✩ peter parker ✩ venom ✩ hobie brown ✩ miguel o'hara ✩ tony stark ✩ logan howlett ✩ wade wilson ✩ harry osborn ✩ the great protector

the boys ¡! ❞

✩ black noir ✩ soldier boy ✩ the homelander ✩ jordan li

star wars ¡! ❞

✩ anakin skywalker ✩ darth vader ✩ han solo ✩ nd-5 ✩ plo koon ✩ din djarin

wizarding world ¡! ❞

✩ fred weasley ✩ remus lupin

movies misc. ¡! ❞

✩ indiana jones ✩ brian o'conner ✩ patrick bateman ✩ elton tiscia ✩ optimus prime ✩ jake sully

outer banks ¡! ❞

✩ jj maybank ✩ rafe cameron ✩ drew starkey

atla-verse ¡! ❞

✩ jet ✩ zuko

tv. shows misc. ¡! ❞

✩ jake peralta ✩ abed nadir ✩ mordecai ✩ kevin levin ✩ dean forester ✩ christopher hayden ✩ dean winchester ✩ sam winchester

jujutsu kaisen ¡! ❞

✩ toji fushiguro ✩ satoru gojo ✩ naoya zenin

boku no hero academia ¡! ❞

✩ katsuki bakugou ✩ taishiro toyomitsu

akatsuki no yona ¡! ❞

✩ hak

namaikizikari ¡! ❞

✩ shou naruse

manga misc. ¡! ❞

✩ riftan calypse

mass effect ¡! ❞

✩ garrus vakarian ✩ nihlus kryik ✩ saren arterius ✩ urdnot wrex

christensen-verse ¡! ❞

✩ hayden christensen ✩ scott barringer ✩ leo campo ✩ sam monroe ✩ billy quinn ✩ clay beresford ✩ jacob ✩ stephen glass

rpf misc. ¡! ❞

✩ indy ✩ andy biersack ✩ corpse husband

── additional ┆ CHARACTERS I'D LIKE TO WRITE FOR.

✩ cad bane ✩ general grievous ✩ boba fett

✩ barry allen ✩ conner kent

✩ luke riordan

✩ korra ✩ mako

✩ sirius black

✩ shoto todoroki ✩ dabi ✩ kai chisaki ✩ hitoshi shinso ✩ toshinori yagi ✩ yo shindou

✩ garnet

✩ jace herondale

✩ sinbad ✩ masrur

✩ tomoe ✩ kurama shinjirou

✩ sesshomaru ✩ koga

✩ marshall lee

✩ bill cipher

✩ dan lynch

✩ nicholas devereaux

✩ eric knox

✩ sherlock holmes

✩ jack sparrow

✩ james norrington

✩ ned nickerson

✩ mike ross

✩ gregory eddie

✩ sam sweeney

✩ david rice

── gifts ┆ CHARACTERS I'VE WRITTEN GIFTS FOR AND DO NOT WANT MESSAGES ABOUT.

✩ luke skywalker ✩ carmy berzatto ✩ druig

NAVI | M.LIST | RULES | FAQ

[courseyoulovemeyoudontknowme]

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981, Steven Spielberg)

10/03/2024

Raiders of the Lost Ark is a 1981 film directed by Stephen Spielberg and written by Lawrence Kasdan, based on a story by George Lucas and Philip Kaufman, as well as the progenitor of the Indiana Jones film saga.

It was the highest-grossing film of 1981, earning approximately $330.5 million worldwide, and also a critical success, receiving praise for its modern take on the serial film, its seamless action and adventure, as well as for the cast, especially Ford, Allen and Freeman. The film was nominated for several awards and, among others, won five Academy Awards, seven Saturn Awards and a BAFTA Award.

The United States Library of Congress selected it for preservation in the National Film Registry in 1999.

In 1936, American archaeologist Indiana Jones leads an expedition to recover a Golden idol from a Peruvian temple with snares and deadly traps. When it seems to be successful, the local guide Satipo betrays Jones to steal the idol, only to end up killed by a trap, and only Jones manages to escape alive with the idol from the crumbling temple. Rival archaeologist René Belloq corners him and steals the idol. Pursued by the dangerous Hovitos Indians, allies of Belloq himself, Jones escapes on a waiting seaplane.

After returning to his university, Jones, along with colleague and friend Marcus Brody, is informed by two US Secret Service agents that the Nazis are digging in Tanis, Egypt, and one of their telegrams mentions Jones' old mentor, Abner Ravenwood. Jones deduces that the Nazis seek the mythical Ark of the Covenant, hidden in a secret chamber in the city, which they believe will make them invincible. To find it they must get their hands on the Staff of Ra amulet, guarded by Abner, which can indicate where the chamber is located via a scale model of the city.

At a bar in Nepal, Jones reunites with Abner's daughter, Marion Ravenwood, with whom Jones had an illicit affair, and learns that Abner is dead. The bar is later set on fire during a scuffle with a group of Nazis, led by the sinister Gestapo agent Arnold Ernst Toth, intent on taking the medallion from Marion.

[confoundedluna]

got that until dawn ps3 version quote list for y'all Finally

it is Just as stupid and ridiculous as the final version and it deserves appreciation too - this post might be longer than the other actually since this version has more chapters, we shall see, and the characters seem to talk to themselves a lot, plus I want to call out More of the dialogue since it's lesser known overall compared to the final game

again, please note these aren't in any particular order, I think they're Mostly chronological per character, I just type them as they come up in the videos and the videos are a bit odd in the way the chapters play out (one video is like. chapters 1, 4 and 5, another is 1, 6 and 7, it's just too awkward to be flipping between videos to watch everything in full order), since a lot are incomplete or need multiple builds to showcase everything they can, but I put together a playlist that was Mostly the order the chapters should be in, including different versions of each chapter in case anything changed across the different builds that I might want to take note of

also please note that some of these i typed based off how the subtitles are written and some off of how the lines are delivered - some of them switch the word order or use like a shortened version of a word or whatever, some lines have dialogue that isn't properly subtitled or has an automated voice reading them rather than an actual actor's delivery, I'm sorry if it's inconsistent but that's just how it's gonna be, i might not notice which version of the quote I used but it's basically the same thing so deal with it lmao

and like last time, let me know if i missed or skipped anything you think should be on this list! I tried to be a bit conservative with how many lines I used and go for just the funniest stand out ones or the ones that carried over, either fully or partially, to the finished game

okay enough disclaimers and apologies and shit, on to the quotes!

CHRIS

(SAM: I thought you were dead!) Well that's a fine thing to say to someone.

Wow. Safety. My mind is blown.

A-ha! And here we have the mysterious graphite spray.

It is believed that seances derive their mystical power by channeling the kinetic energy created by nude bodies... gathered as offerings to the occult, particularly those of young, teenage women. Ghosts are typically not concerned with the nude bodies of pasty young men, so if there are any ladies present, would you please remove your shirts and pants-

I'm beginning to think our friendly ghost is dyslexic.

This isn't a video game, Ash! Not everything's a clue!

There's a place in France where the ladies don't wear pants... (ASHLEY: Oh my god, how old are you?)

(ASHLEY: Look at this! Isaiah 11:6!) Is that a baseball thing? Like the signs at games? (ASHLEY: Uh, no, Chris, it's a Bible thing. You know, like a verse?) Oh, that's what those are. We should read it, right? The baseball Bible thing?

(ASHLEY: Look at this lectern, there's all sorts of animals on it.) It's like Noah's ark. Or that channel with all the animals on it.

(ASHLEY: Yep, it's all here. Fire and brimstone.) Blah blah blah, obey all my commands, blah blah blah, kill all your sons and daughters! (ASHLEY: What Bible did you read?) The cool one, duh!

Hey, I got it! See how this rotates? We could line up the animals like it says in the verse! (ASHLEY: Maybe all those hours in Sunday school paid off.) Absolutely. Not.

This just got totally Indiana Jones on us...

I know the human body has a surprising amount of blood in it, but damn.

Someone's been hunting. Guess they don't need a freezer out here.

Alright, handles all around I guess...

Holy shitballs.

I gotta say, this is not the most sensible thing I've ever done in my life.

Maybe we can find the book that the page belongs to. And find the jerk who ripped it out.

(ASHLEY: What is this, chemistry class?) I don't know about you, Ash, but I always like to leave my dangerous chemicals in a food preparation area.

Phew! See, look at that, nothing out there but the wind. (STRANGER: Sometimes the wind is not to be trusted.) Yeah well you would say that wouldn't you...

Do we just seem like slabs of meat to them? Like in old cartoons when one guy would be starving and the other guy would suddenly turn into a T-Bone steak? (STRANGER: Your thoughts wander uncomfortably far for someone walking through the dark in the W's territory…) Well that's precisely why I'd rather think about cartoons...

Brrr it's so cold out here... I guess it's better being cold than dead... though if I get any colder I might wish I was dead...

No more psychos and saw blades and crazy TV rooms and weird skinny monsters and no more snow and no more screaming hunter dudes.

(ASHLEY: How are you holding up, Chris...?) Miraculously. I mean, I'll probably collapse the second I start to think about anything that's been going on. (SAM: Then don't think about it.)

Ash... Even if Jess was down there I don't think it would be a good idea for us to climb into a mysterious hole in the wall...

We just want to get through this. Together, Ash...

ASHLEY

(SAM: Do you think Em is gonna say something about all this?) Knowing Em... she's gonna say plenty...

I tried to join chess club but I wasn't cool enough.

Cannibalism?! Who would buy a book like that? Who would even write a book on cannibalism? (CHRIS: A cannibal...?)

I don't care what it is- why does he keep doing this to us?!

This is our fault... we can't save him, it's our fault!

Not cool. Not cool.

Where does an elevator even go down here?

Bats... I mean, how in the heck are bats down here?

'A week in the mountains' he said, 'we'll get drunk, it'll be fun'...

Ohhh, I hate creepy noises!

They're crazy if they think they're going to find Josh and the stupid key... (SAM: Emily seemed to think she had a pretty good idea of where to look...) Yeah but she's Emily, Sam! When does she ever do anything that isn't some sort of weird selfish game- (SAM: Em seemed pretty shaken up, Ash, she's just trying to help-) She's trying to get us killed. We're all going to die up here. All of us.

(SAM: Just keep going, Ash, just keep going. It's right ahead of us.) It so does not feel like it's right ahead of us.

You've seen Mike with a gun, he seems pretty confident...

Well Sam, there doesn't gotta be another way- I mean we can hope there's another way...

(SAM: Pull it open!) I'm trying! What are you doing?! Don't hurt yourself not helping!

SAM

Ah-yep... limbs are still working.

Bim bam boom! There, fixed it for you.

That was hellacious.

She's usually pretty cool. Seems more like she's nursing a massive crush. (CHRIS: You mean Mike?) Ummm... yeah? Come on, she's sitting out there like a little lost puppy waiting for him.

Is she really being that big of a bitch to him?

(CHRIS: Wicked Witch of the West.) Right? I wish someone would drop a house on her. (CHRIS: That was the Wicked Witch of the East.) Did you seriously just correct me on that?

I can't believe Emily is hooking up with Matt. Didn't really expect her to go full meathead after breaking up with Michael.

Hey, did you get the sense that Jess and Mike are gonna have a uh... 'political summit' on this trip...?

Josh... having a little trouble getting the key into the hole?

(JOSH: I know Sam... I'm sorry... my fingers feel like they're gonna break off...) Do you want me to warm your fingers up so you can get the lock open?

Hello...? Hey guys, is that you? What are you guys doing? Being creepy...?

Hey?! I'm getting a little creeped out here fellas...

Someone help me, I'm stuck in here with a maniac!

I guess Josh needs kind of like a 'time-out' after what he did to us, but...

Okay. That does it. Door is locked. Nothing in or out.

Are you crazy? Or just stupid? You go out there and you're dead. In here we can at least wait- (MIKE: Until what? Come on, Sam.) Until dawn.

(EMILY: How did you find us?) You were making a total ruckus. Emily, I'm not sure you got the memo about the stealth mission.

Perfect. A giant hole.

(EMILY: Be careful...) As opposed to...?

(EMILY: You having a good time up there, Sam?) It's a god damn party.

Don't scream- don't scream- don't scream- (EMILY: I can't help it, I can't-)

Empty. Could have been one of us in there...

Okay Mister Elevator, let's see what we're working with here...

Wow. Now that's more like it. This is baaaaaadass.

Come on already, where is that fricking code?

Come on girl. You'd look good with that in your hands. Don't be shy.

Hey... bout time I found the Big Boy firepower.

I am so done with this place.

Get me outta here. Gotta find the cable car.

Get me out of here. Just get me to the first floor.

I just want to be on the ground, not up here.

Stairs? Ladder? Elevator? Escalator? Just need to get down to the ground floor.

I need out. Find my way to the cable car.

Gotta find the ground floor.

You guys look starved. Let me just fire up the grill.

MIKE

All ye who enter must pay the toll! Take off your pants!

(CHRIS: Maybe I can get a signal long enough to download a manual for one of these things.) ...Nerd alert, amirite?

(CHRIS: Nature calls.) Did you give her my number?

You throw like a- (JESS: Don't say it!) Was just gonna say you throw like a- (JESS: Don't!) ...throw like a beautiful, enchanting woman!

Awww! That's one to show the grandkids, right? (JESS: Don't get ahead of yourself, mister.) I wouldn't dream of it.

You wanna hear a joke? (JESS: Sure! I love to laugh.) Okay. So, how many librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (JESS: Dunno, how m-) Shhh!!! (JESS: Really? Ugh.)

(JESS: Goddamn batteries! Shake it, that usually helps! Awesome!) Shake-powered batteries? Who knew.

I wonder what's down there. Ah, I bet it's just a bunch of pickaxes and old cart tracks and miner bones and ghosts of miners, and miner curses and... Woah. Get a grip dude. Class President.

Look at that. (JESS: What're all those symbols?) I think they're ancient. (JESS: Ancient what?) Ancient symbols. (JESS: Such insight...)

I'm not super thrilled at the idea of bears hanging around and crashing our party.

Looks like the path is a little blocked up. (JESS: What do you mean?) Well, it's got all this... tree in the way.

Where'd you go? Jessica? You've got at least five good minutes left until I bring out the waterworks.

This looks like the work of a bear. I do not like the way bears work.

Jess, hon? I promise I totally won't murder you when I find you. Maybe just a little.

So cold out here, but I'm sweating! Is that normal?

(JESS: You're trying to just freak me out, aren't you?) What? Why? (JESS: To get in my pants.) Yes, I would like to scare the pants off you.

So... One time I jumped over a crazy deep ravine on my bike. All the kids from the neighbourhood came out. Some local news too. Everyone thought I wasn't going to make it. (JESS: But you did?) Nope. Totally died. Been dead six years now. (JESS: You're lying.) Am I, though? (JESS: ...yes? ... Right?) There's only one way to find out...!

We're all alone in here, babe. Just you and me... the Presidential suite. (JESS: Well, Mr President, the lights don't work. And I'm freezing!)

Someone really doesn't like things to stay in one piece around here. Why would someone tear this up?

My jaw's chiselled enough already, but still, it could be useful.

Well, I've found the killer bathtub. Jesus, what did I think would be in there?

Woah. Check out the crazy sex book they have up here.

What is this? Ms. Dunkle's tenth grade science project?

Well, we're here now, so we might as well make use of the amenities. (JESS: Like the bed?) Yeah, I'm thinking mostly the bed.

Alright, madame, is there anything else that you require, or shall I retire to my quarters? (JESS: You're not going anywhere.) Madame requires additional services? (JESS: I can think of a few.)

Huh. Turns out our monster is just a broken branch. Guess it must have seen us and gotten jealous.

(JESS: Finally I have your attention.) The Vice President is standing by. (JESS: Well, why don't you bring him into the Oval Office?) Let's sign this bill into law!

Gotta stay calm. Focused. Get out of this rotten pit.

Crap, what are you doing Mikey, what's wrong with you... this asshole killed Jess... he should pay for that... but nobody's gonna pay for anything unless you get out of here in one piece, buddy...

Stay cool, Mikey. Stay cool.

(groans) Unngh… Either I'm getting weaker or doors are getting heavier…

Come on Sir Mike. Don't be such a wimp. Think about Jessica.

He could be waiting for me… it would be wise for me to tread lightly in the lion's den.

Just stay on your guard Potus… Stay alert…

Let's go, Mikey, let's go.

Gravity's my co-pilot on this one.

Aww… god… smells like something died in here, came back to life, ate its own corpse and then threw it all up…

Well well well. Here we are again. Sometimes wandering around in circles ain't so bad.

This is the creepiest rehearsal space I've ever seen.

Alright, keep your head Mr. President. Calm under pressure…

Ah great, another scenic wing of 'le castle de dilapitacion'.

Alright… look at that. Now we're getting somewhere. Don't know where, but somewhere.

Births and deaths, 1905. Some light bedtime reading for when we get through this.

Man, I can't even skip lunch without becoming a hungry monster, how did these guys feel over 23 days. Wait, no, i don't want to think about it.

Hey! Proper old school photo. Ain't that many left that roll with this kind of geddup anymore.

Chris was killed right in front of us, Jack the monster hunter was torn to pieces and now we're just waiting around like sitting ducks? No. We have to get off the mountain. Now.

Boom! For the win.

(EMILY: Ugh. I hate this place.) Admittedly, they have let it go... (EMILY: Yeah, they haven't dusted in years down here...)

Ah, seems like patient number four was suffering from a bout of being too extraordinary.

I'll tell you what. If the patients weren't completely nuts when they checked in, this place would drive them crazy.

(EMILY: Alright, so how are we gonna get out of here?) Scream and cry like girls?

Pe-culiar? That's actually like a for real medical term? Must have been Charlie Cheswick's records.

I wonder how far your gums have to recede before they start measuring them. If I'm reading this right, this guy must have looked like a dollar store Halloween mask. Wouldn't want to meet these chompers in a dark alley. Or terrifying sanitorium.

If wishes were horses beggars would be cowboys. (CHRIS: Woah. You did not just say that.) That guy Jack had some pretty catchy phrases don't you think?

EMILY

(CHRIS: We just saw Jessica, down by the cable car.) Ugh. Any more perfume on that B and you'd think she was a bachelorette party.

My lips are already so chapped. (MATT: I can kiss them and make them better.) In your dreams Loverboy.

Oh my god, are you gonna swallow his face whole? We're all here! How much more of your crap can we take?

Listen you little slut, maybe because I am not on crack I can see what you're doing.

I don't have to spy when clearly you're showing off with your tongue halfway down his throat.

(JESS: You heard what I said.) Why don't you say it again to my face you bitch?

You do whatever you want. If there's a crazy murderer running around then I'm going to get the hell out of here. (MATT: Maybe he's right, Em-) Do you want me to go out there all alone, Matt? Because I will.

We'll take the cable car to go get help, dummy. Come on.

This is totally crazy Matt. This is totally crazy. My head is spinning.

Ugh. It's freezing out here. I did not pack for this.

I wish Chris and Ashley were more helpful. (MATT: Em, you hardly gave them a chance-) You know, I'm just trying to help the situation.

I just can't believe it's happened again! I mean like, is this family cursed? (MATT: Yeah the whole mountain feels cursed.)

Okay, you done good Matt. Took you a while, but you done good.

Look, if you're not gonna call for help, then maybe you should at least get some tunes going for us to listen to while we sit here and freeze to death can you please just get the radio working Matt oh my god oh my god!

Oh my God, stop talking like you're in a movie. Are you pushing the right button? Is there even a signal?

Wow. These clothes are all torn up. And I don't think it's because they were ripped off the sale rack in a shopping spree…

Ugh. Why do these machines always have to be so complicated?!

Ahhh! Jesus… them's the brakes.

Oh come on batteries… stick with me just a little longer…

Ugh… are those… bite marks on the bones? As in like… eating marks?

This is hell. That's all there is to it. Hell. I fell into hell and there are devils wandering around who will poke me with their forks.

Okay, keep quiet, Em. Put a lid on it. Don't want to attract attention...

Juuuust stay quiet... What would Princess Emilia do? I'll tell you what she'd do: she would stay quiet. Shhhh.

Wow. Good thing I checked my claustrophobia at the door. This is gonna be tight. I guess it's either through this little hole or turn around and face Mr Sunshine out there. Hmm. Excellent options!

I gotta try it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right Miss A-student beauty queen and all around hottie?

Bingo! Done. Voila. QED. Hee haw. Locked and loaded. That is how we roll. You go girl. Aaaaannnnd... Cut it. Print it. Saved. Vamos!

Top...! It's the top! Mine top... tip top top of the mine...! No more shaft just... this place! I'm out of the mine! ...Back to the lodge! Back to the fires and warmth and friends! Oh little lodge, I missed you so much... how do I get out of here?

(MIKE: You locking us in?) I'm locking the baddies out. Can't be too careful. (MIKE: Glad you're sure the baddies are out there and not in here.) Feels good to lock a door...

(MIKE: Wow. I guess I totalled the place huh?) Mikey had a tantrum? (MIKE: When I commit to something, I like to do a thorough job.) Hmmmm. Don't remember you making heaven and earth move for me... (MIKE: Hey. Don't say that...) I'm kidding... You did okay... (MIKE: ...that's better...) ...considering the tool you have to work with... (MIKE: Easy! Easy!)

This whole wing just feels like it was for the real head cases. Right? Like the lost causes. (MIKE: Yeah. It's got a really pleasant vibe in here. Let's keep moving.)

Ew. Ew! His gums were receding?! Didn't he floss?! Some people just do not understand the importance of dental hygiene.

One order of W pâté, comin' up!

Wow, Sam, you're really getting all Rambo on us.

(SAM: Look. The machinery. If we can get those metal containers in a row... we can get across.) You're kidding, right? On those rusty... rust buckets out there?

(SAM: You got it! It's working!) That's right, 'cause I'm the mecha-master! (SAM: Now if we get them lined up... We can just hop right across!) Already on it, Rambo. Or should I say... Sam-bo. (SAM: Ah... no... I don't think you should say that.)

An elevator...! Probably broken. Why is everything on this goddamned mountain falling apart!

(SAM: Looks like we've got find a way across.) Score one for Captain Obvious.

(SAM: We've got one shot to get out of here and we can't screw it up.) Right back at ya, lady.

JESSICA

(CHRIS: What's Mike doing?) He's getting all of our stuff to the lodge. Nails. Just had 'em done.

(SAM: We can help you with the stuff.) Oh that's so nice! But... I kinda like it when Mike does it.

Ugh, finally we're out of that stupid wind. I was freezing my buns off out there. (MIKE: I can help you with those if you like...!)

(MATT: Come on Em, relax.) No, it's not okay Matt. That bitch is on crack or something.

Whatever. I don't have time for jealous bitches.

Fine. Whatever. Anything to get away from that whore. (EMILY: Are you kidding me? I'm the whore?)

Ugh, you know, I can't believe Emily sometimes... why is she such a royal B? How could you have ever gone out with someone like that?

(MIKE: Exiled.) More like sex-iled.

Come on troops, move out.

I wonder if they have any room service up at the cabin. I could so use a triple grande mocha cappuccino right now.

You lit up my night... Now all we need are some fireworks later...

How bout some jams? (MIKE: Whatever puts you in the mood.) This one might be my favourite... Until their next one comes out, then that'll probably be my favourite. (MIKE: That's a really good way of thinking about it.) Thanks! ... ...what?

(MIKE: Josh seemed pretty happy to get rid of us back there, didn't he?) Michael! I had no idea you had such a gossipy side... Is this the politician in you? (MIKE: Politician nothing; the guy's a dick!) Hmm.

I keep having this great thought, but then I keep forgetting it.

Somebody's going to owe me a new outfit.

(MIKE: I didn't know Hannah wore glasses.) Yeah. Just when she wasn't around any cute boys.

I wonder if they deliver take out up here. I mean right here.

Ugh. My shoes are getting so moist.

I wonder what's going on back at the lodge. Everybody's probably doin' it.

Nature's kinda gross.

Is that Orion's belt or is he just happy to see me?

Hah! I'm totally going to tell everyone about your fear of birdies.

Stand back, Debbie downer.

Don't worry, I'll save Woodsgate for the next election.

(MIKE: Some of these planks are pretty rickety.) You know what else is rickety? (MIKE: What?) Your face is rickety. (MIKE: That's a really good one!) Thank you!

(MIKE: Watch your step, Jess.) You know what? You're worse than my mom. My mom!

Boom! Sting like a butterfly and float like a bee.

Wow, look at that old photo. (MIKE: Must be an old mining team.) Looks like they really knew how to... handle themselves. (MIKE: Sounds like you wish you could handle them.) Looks really old. I wonder if they're all dead now. Ugh! So creepy!

(MIKE: Probably faulty wiring or something.) You've got faulty wiring.

Unless you want to make out with an ice sculpture, I suggest you get a fire going. Pronto.

It's so cold in here right now my tongue would get stuck to your flagpole.

I'm cold, I'm bored, and I'm getting rapidly less horny. You want to hurry it up with the fire?

(MIKE: It's so dusty.) No maid service up here? What a rip.

Coldness generally isn't conducive to hotness, Michael... Woah. That sounded, like, deep.

While you were trying to find the right button to push, I found some de-light-ful candles that wonderfully spice up the place and light up all the nooks and crannies... Far more cosy and accommodating, don't you think?

I can't lose my phone, my parents are gonna kill me! (MIKE: You can always get a new one!) That's like my fourth one this year.

Just unfasten it! (MIKE: I can get it! I can get it!) Don't send a man to do a woman's job.

Oh. Those perverted assholes. Why can't they just leave us alone and let us have a perfectly nice time? God! What jerks! (MIKE: Hey, they're just trying to have a good time.) Yeah? Well, so are we!

You guys are such dicks! Are you really that upset with me and Michael that you want to ruin our fun? Huh? Well, guess what? You can't ruin it! Because Michael and I are gonna screw! That's right! We're gonna have sex! And it's gonna be hot! So enjoy it! 'Cause I know we're going to! Ugh.

MATT

Ohhhh! She just got Emily'd!

Wow. Someone had a good time in here.

Why would someone leave a picture of keys where the keys should be?

This place can't just be a huge death trap, right? Cable car can't be the only way in and out of this joint.

Josh had a lot of problems... I think he just wanted to be able to sort things out... and put this all behind us...

So the joke I learned, it's really good, it's about like, a dude, who's got a haircut like the moon, and-

Coyote? Bear? ... Why is that okay?

C'mon, Matt... You don't wanna die down here.

The hell is that… Jessica? (JESS: Matt? Jesus… So it got you too.) Yeah… You okay? (JESS: Hardly...) Let's get the hell out of this place. Look! There! (JESS: Light!) That's the cable car station!

Come on, man... nearly there... nearly there...

JOSH/THE PSYCHO

Come on, lock... My lockpick skills are a little rusty...

This is the most boring break-in ever. You haven't even broken in yet.

Hey! Grit bin! Nice work moving that over here!

Everything all right in there? (CHRIS: Yeah, I'm fine. It's really dirty. And a little freaky.) Sounds like my kind of date! (CHRIS: Offf course it does.)

Dude, come on! Let's open this jawn!

Ahh-hahaha! Dude are you okay? That lil' wolverine almost gave you a paper cut!

(SAM: Hey, those things are known to be vicious sometimes.) Vicious to lil' babies. Lil' Chrissy babies.

(SAM: Thank you Chris.) Thaaaank you Chriiiiis.

Yo! Explorers! You guys are gonna need the keys for the love shack!

As you can see, your friend Josh is now in quite an unfortunate situation. If you wish to see him dead, then do nothing and you may watch him die.

Second... clue... picture if you will... high atop a powdery mountain... the only place possible for a jacked up jock like Matthew to score a... 'big break'...

If you'll please now direct your attention towards the main attraction...

Not much time left before your friend is... perforated...

Congratulations! You've just bought yourself... more time... to watch your friend die...

My my my, didn't you do well! You fought the system and you've won. And what you've won is a prize! You're a lucky winner, come on down!

Well, that's the end, folks. I only wish it could have turned out differently, but, unfortunately, I'm still going to kill your friend because, hey - winners don't play by the rules!

Allow me to introduce myself, I am your host!

Oh, I had fun with them... and now I'll have fun with you... There's nothing wrong with having a little fun, is there?

Samantha, my darling, I don't think your friends are going to help you... I've already had a little fun with them...

Oh what a delight it was watching his life drain away. I wonder if watching yours will be just as fun.

(SAM: What do you want?) I just want a little fun, Sam... so why don't we... mix things up a little... You can have ten seconds to pretend like you're escaping... and then you're dead!

Go on, hide if you like... I know just where you are.

(CHRIS: What do you want from us?!) Well now, Mr Chris... I think you've got the answer right there in front of you.

Oh borrring... You think I didn't bulletproof my machinery?

(CHRIS: You're sick!) Heh heh heh... why thank you, kind sir... but the choice... is yours... play ball!

I'm sorry... so sorry... it's all my fault...

THE STRANGER

It would be wise for you to hear me out.

You seem to listen but not to hear.

You have no chance out there on your own- (CHRIS: I'll just have to take my chances.) Then I'll go with you. Alone would be suicide. (CHRIS: Yeah well you're so special.) I am... experienced.

You do not seem too concerned with saving the life of your friend.

(CHRIS: Have you done this before?) Have I foolishly attempted to free a dead man in the hopes of becoming one myself? (CHRIS: Uh...) You ask questions that are not very useful. (CHRIS: My teachers say the same thing. But yeah, so, have you?) This is not my first barbecue.

He who seeks avoidance finds out what he seeks to avoid. (CHRIS: That's... a really confusing saying.)

[imagitory]

Hey all! So recently Wish was added to Disney+, and I thought it might be a good opportunity for me to watch it again for the first time since I saw it in theaters. I asked you all what I should write about after watching it, and in the end, the top answers were an analysis of the criticism surrounding Wish and something focusing more on the positive aspects of the movie, rather than just the usual mindless bashing.

So that's what I intend to write! A look back at some of the common criticisms I've heard about the film, and how much weight they actually have.

Now, before we begin, I should put in a disclaimer -- I don't particularly like Wish as a film. I think it had ridiculous amounts of potential that were likely hampered by corporate decisions, but I personally find it to be one of Disney's weaker animated films. That being said, as promised, I will make any critiques I do include as balanced as I can, and I will try to include praise where I can too.

So let's start!

"Asha is a badly written character because she has no character arc."

This is a critique I actually found on a list also discussing valid criticism of Wish, and I knew I had to include it, because even BEFORE I rewatched the movie, I thought it was a bit unfair. Because here's the thing: there are plenty of good films, Disney or otherwise, where the main character doesn't have/need a character arc. All of Walt's original three princesses, Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora, don't have character arcs. Ariel doesn't have an arc either -- instead her father Triton is the one who goes through a change of heart. Neither does Pongo, or Basil of Baker Street, or Robin Hood. Indiana Jones doesn't go through any real character development in Raiders of the Lost Ark, yet he was interesting enough to inspire a whole movie series! with mixed results. The important part is that even if a main character doesn't develop personality-wise, we should still be able to root for them and want them to achieve their goal. We don't want Cinderella to be abused by her stepfamily -- we want her to find someone who loves her and will take care of her the way she takes care of others. Although it can be more interesting to give your characters an arc while they pursue their goals, it isn't necessary to tell a good story or write a compelling character. Sometimes a story can be more focused on how their life circumstances or environment changes around them.

Another criticism this leads into is the idea that Asha is just another "quirky female lead" a la Rapunzel, except without any background that justifies it. And well...plenty of people griped that Anna was too much like Rapunzel, when Frozen came out. I saw people compare Moana to both Rapunzel and Mulan, when her film came out. Mirabel was also compared to past Disney heroines like Anna and Rapunzel. Even before Wish came out, people tried to argue that Asha looked just like Isabela Madrigal, which was just ridiculous. There's plenty of bad-faith criticism out there that'll shallowly associate one character or story element with one trope exclusively without looking at any nuance or detail. And I think most people would agree that truthfully, none of these female characters are the least bit "the same," no matter how much someone might try to all boil them down to "the quirky Disney female lead." And, like the others, Asha has traits that set her apart. The big one for me is her bent toward social justice, which is something we haven't really seen in a Disney leading lady since Esmeralda in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Even so, I admit that Asha's quirkiness isn't as justified by her backstory as the trait is by Rapunzel's isolation or Mirabel's "outcast" status in her family, and that does make it so that her characterization has less depth than those of some of her counterparts'. Does that make Asha a bad character? Of course not. If you like Asha as written, that's totally fine. Underdeveloped doesn't have to mean unlikable.

"There are too many characters in this movie!"

Even I've been a bit guilty of thinking this. I still feel as though the film would've saved a lot of space if some aspects of Asha's friend group had been redistributed to other characters. Like okay, you want to reference the Seven Dwarfs in Asha's inner circle, but give them all distinctive personalities? Have her mother fill the Bashful role, and cut Bazeema. Have her grandpa be Happy, and cut Hal. Have Valentino be your Grumpy role, and cut Gabo. Have Star play your Dopey, and cut Dario. Suddenly you only have three characters -- Simon, Safi, and Dahlia -- to introduce in that kitchen scene instead of seven, and you've also now given Asha's mum, grandpa, and sidekicks more personality as well!

That being said, the amount of characters truly isn't the problem. The real problem is time. Because let's be honest, we can ALL think of media with a large cast of characters we've become strongly emotionally invested in. The Lord of the Rings -- The Avengers -- Hazbin Hotel...but the difference is how much time the audience is given to get to know all of these characters. Even Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which has a cast of eleven, ends up leaving the Prince and the Huntsman rather underdeveloped compared to the Dwarfs. We don't ever learn the Evil Queen's whole deal or even her name, and she gets a lot of focus! With Wish only being ten minutes longer than Snow White with a cast of fourteen, it's little wonder the filmmakers struggled to have all fourteen of them leave a strong, unique impact. Even when I first watched the film, I didn't feel anything negative toward Asha's friend group -- if anything, I was happy to see a Disney animated female lead with a friend group of her peers, since the closest we'd gotten to that previously was Hiro in Big Hero 6 and Mei in Pixar's Turning Red. All of Asha's friends had the potential to be very interesting people, and that's why it's sad that we didn't get to see more of them and have the chance to become invested in them as individuals.

"Magnifico was actually right the whole time! Asha is the REAL villain of the story."

I see this one a lot, both from people who disliked the movie and fans who stan Magnifico, and as much as I won't give anyone a hard time for liking Magnifico, I think this view isn't really fair to either character or to the story the filmmakers pretty clearly wanted to tell. And sadly, as much as I want to be positive, I think this interpretation comes about partly because of inconsistent writing on the filmmakers' parts.

In Welcome to Rosas, there is this utopic vision presented of the island -- one that only reinforces the story told to us at the beginning by Asha, of how this man who loves wishes learned powerful magic so he could found this idyllic island kingdom with his wife where he could make wishes come true. Unfortunately, for some viewers, I think that propaganda works a little too well -- making us see Rosas as a place that truly is that happy and content and peaceful. And yeah, that does make it so that when Asha sings about how she wants "more than this," that could make her come across as rather selfish and entitled. But I think there are a few things that are good to remember --

Welcome to Rosas is framed as an advertisement of sorts -- like one of those commercials you see promoting Disneyland and how magical it is, without ever bringing up how much money it costs or how many lines you'll have to stand in. Asha's guiding some new people around with the goal of convincing them to stay and give their wishes to Magnifico, so of course it's going to sanitize the kingdom and make it seem like a place you'd want to stay in. There's blatant hyperbole thrown in there for dramatic effect, like the idea that you could go to outer space. Asha even sings that you're "unlikely to be unhappy": not that you'll be happy living on this island, just not unhappy. And yes, there is a difference between contentment and true, fulfilling happiness.

Simon's friends flat-out call him boring, after he turned eighteen and gave up his wish. This foreshadows what we learn about the wishes later, which is that they're a core part of a person that they're left a shadow of themselves without. At the wish ceremony later on, we can see this in the animation of the two "new citizens" giving their wishes to Magnifico. When they think of their wishes, they're full to the brim with joy, but when they've given them up, they're left looking confused and almost bereft, and even as everyone else cheers, they look unconvinced by the crowd's cult-like "forget without regret" chant. According to Wish's own canon, you're cutting out the "heart" of who you are, when you give up your wish.

Considering Amaya says that Asha will need to keep the tea hot, listen whenever and for however long Magnifico wants to talk, and never question anything, Magnifico didn't want an apprentice -- that would insinuate he'd actually be teaching them magic. If anything, it sounds more like he wanted a personal servant to cater to his whims. And when that person interviewing before Asha disappoints him, he's left running down the hall crying hysterically. This develops Magnifico as the film's future antagonist. Already long before he uses the evil magic book, we see that he wants a subordinate to do whatever he wants without question or complaint, seemingly for nothing in return except his own approval and, I would presume, some sort of paycheck. (I mean, I'm not saying Asha was right to expect favors from Magnifico so soon, or that that kind of quid-pro-quo stuff isn't corrupt as heck, but considering she and Magnifico did seem to connect over how important the wishes were, and considering Sabino's 100 years old, can you blame Asha for opening up about her hope that Magnifico would consider granting her grandfather's wish? She never framed it as a quid-pro-quo, and this probably would be the best chance she'd have to appeal to the King directly.)

Asha is seventeen! Of course her world view is going to be smaller and more idealistic than Magnifico's, and of course her family is going to be the center of her world. At the same time, even if Asha is young, it doesn't mean her perspective isn't worthy of compassion and respect. Sometimes the young do have a more meaningful view of a situation than their elders -- just look at David Hogg, or Malala Yousafzai, or Greta Thunberg...hell, even Anne Frank! However upset Magnifico was about Asha disagreeing with and contradicting him, it does not justify how pettily he decided to shut her down. He was an adult, and a ruler besides: it behooved him to act like one.

The filmmakers clearly envisioned Magnifico as the villain. Even if you want to ignore the promos where they compared Magnifico to the likes of classic Disney villains, Magnifico is portrayed as an arrogant, vain, vindictive control freak. He thinks only he knows what's best for everyone else, has decreed that only he has the authority to cast magic or grant wishes, and knows how beautiful people's wishes are, but prefers to hoard them away like trinkets, long before realizing that crushing them gives him power. (Not to mention he looked at Asha's hand-drawn animation and actually said, "Do we call that a talent?" I mean -- excuse you!) I've even heard some people theorize that Magnifico was based off Disney's "collect-'em-all" CEO himself, Bob Iger, and not in a flattering way. His main argument scene with Asha has been compared to how creatives have felt about their corporate bosses abruptly shutting down and locking away their incomplete films rather than let them be finished or released. Admittedly Wish also goes out of its way to try to make Magnifico sympathetic by giving him the slightest of tragic backstories, having him actually trust Asha enough to show her the wishes after only just meeting her, and (later on) not giving into the temptation of the random evil magic book because Amaya asks him not to, and that definitely muddies the waters. I still have to stand by the fact, though, that one's motivation doesn't excuse their bad behavior, however much one can explain the other. Magnifico having a sad backstory or trauma doesn't mean he's justified in treating people poorly, collecting wishes for his own enjoyment instead of truly loving them and the people they're attached to by sharing them with others, or not wanting people to ever question him or his authority. Magnifico's "nicer" moments don't mitigate these things either. Nor does his role as king. Even if yes, the story could've done well to add more nuance to the idea of wishes and make clear that not all of them are good -- and yes, the story could've either made Magnifico's villainy a bit more straightforward or followed through with the idea of Magnifico being a misguided anti-villain...in this film, we only see good wishes represented in Rosas. Magnifico even calls the wishes "the very best part [of a person]" -- and so one can only presume that all of the wishes Magnifico's collected are that way. Asha even suggests (before Magnifico interrupts her) that if a wish is dangerous, they could probably address that, while still giving back the wishes Magnifico won't grant. And the wish that Magnifico explicitly calls too "dangerous" to grant is Sabino wanting to inspire future generations, presumably through music. Paranoia on Magnifico's part? Perhaps, but also unjustified, in the context of the film. When Star comes down, every last person in Rosas -- including Magnifico's wife and queen, Amaya, who presumably must know something of his trauma and understand wanting to protect their people -- feels nothing but warmth, hope, and joy: all except for Magnifico, who immediately reacts in fear just seeing the wishes moving outside of his control. This insinuates that Magnifico's perception is the odd one out -- he's the only one who's afraid and not inspired, because that alternative magic threatens his absolute rule and control. Just like he's threatened by his people asking too many questions about the wishes he's taken. Just like he's threatened by the idea that Sabino could inspire the next generation in a way he doesn't approve of. And in the end, if that random evil book did corrupt Magnifico, it only magnified what was already there inside of him -- a greedy, obsessive need to hoard things away all for himself and to control others.

Again, for those people who see Magnifico more sympathetically than the filmmakers intended, I can understand why. Wish has two very conflicting ideas of who Magnifico is supposed to be, likely because it was compiled from dramatically different script drafts. But I feel demonizing Asha or ignoring the film's overall message about the value of people being free to chase their dreams to try to prop Magnifico up is misguided.

"Wish is bad because it's 'woke.'"

I almost wonder if I even need to say anything. This sentiment is so disingenuous, it seems like I should really be able to let it speak for itself. Ironically enough, though, I would actually argue that one of Wish's biggest shortcomings is that it isn't as revolutionary as it clearly wants to be.

For one, the culture of Rosas -- inspired largely by Spain and the Mediterranean -- is really never explored. We get no real influence of either of those cultures on the soundtrack aside from a few mandolins and a flourish of castanets now and again, unlike how Encanto embraces Colombia or how The Princess and the Frog celebrates New Orleans with their music. There's a lot of diversity in Wish's cast with a biracial lead and her colorful friend group (including Dahlia, who has a crutch!), but that would be a lot more meaningful if that diverse cast of characters had had fully fleshed-out personalities and relationships that made us emotionally invested in them, such as how Turning Red handled Mei and her friend group. We have aspects of social justice in Wish's storyline, sure -- but as much as you can draw parallels to Wish's story and the writers' strike that had been going on earlier that year and I think those parallels are striking, a film that clearly dealt with so much corporate oversight and meddling almost couldn't commit to making their villain a True Evil sort, and in the end, Rosas doesn't even do away with the absolute monarchy at the end of their supposed "revolution": it just shifts leadership from its King to its Queen. (And yes, I acknowledge saying "no more royalty" is a message that Disney, of all companies, would be hesitant to put out there, but you can't deny, it would've been both ballsy and different.)

Does this mean Bob Iger was right, that Wish is proof its creative types are focusing too much on message and not on entertainment? No. I'd say the bigger problems with the film were more likely caused by corporate interference -- you know, like hiring some popular pop composers to write songs that can be repackaged into other projects easily rather than primarily tell the story and develop the characters. Or deciding that our main female lead has to be able to do everything on her own without "too much help" from her main co-star (LOL, pun) because "feminism." Or defanging the villain with similarities to the company's CEO so he won't scare the kiddos. Or even animating the film at the exact same time as you're writing it like you previously did with Frozen II, to save time and take advantage of the 100th anniversary timing.

Even so, I sadly can't help but feel that Wish is "woke" largely in a performative sense. It features people who look different from each other and it talks about revolution and positive change, but it really doesn't go far enough to depict diversity in a way that people can get really excited about it or inspire deep thought and even maybe positive change in its audience. That's not focusing too much on message and not on entertainment -- if anything, it's more indicative of not giving the relevant and timely themes and the diverse culture enough focus.

"The meta Disney references are awful."

This one I think really is much more subject to personal taste. I've heard quite a few fans say how fun it is to find all the Easter eggs for other Disney projects or even to theorize how Wish could be connected to those movies in some kind of Disney Cinematic Universe. Personally I'm not in this camp, but that doesn't mean that I hate all the references included. The film opening with the exact same kind of text from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs actually made me smile. The Sleeping Beauty-esque drawing style in the storybook was pretty. Even the Seven Friends as an idea I thought was cute, when I first saw the concept art for them.

By and large, the references I tend to see more favorably are the ones only hard-core Disney/animation fans would pick up on. This might make me sound snooty, but I still personally enjoy references like Star's design being based on one of the star cherubs from a discarded Snow White sequence far more than I do the more blatant ones like Magnifico crushing a dream about a "perfect nanny" or the boy dressed like Rosasbound!Peter Pan. I guess for me, the first kind of references feel more like homages, rather than things that are deliberately supposed to make you think of other Disney movies you could be watching instead of this one. For other people, though, thinking of different Disney films while watching Wish is fun, and it reminds them of how much they enjoy those other movies too. It's good, clean, nostalgic entertainment. And well, Disney has put plenty of Easter eggs in its work before, though usually a bit more sparingly.

So yeah, I think ragging on the flood of Disney Easter Eggs in Wish is a bit unfair. As much as most of them aren't for me and I would've been happier with a lot less of them, I know there are other people who find joy in them, and I'm happy they do. The animators working on this film undoubtedly had a lot of fun including those references too, and I don't blame them! It's fun to create art celebrating what you love with like-minded people.

"Wish's songs are all terribly written."

Now up to a certain point, I could just say exactly what I said against the last criticism -- that this really comes down to personal opinion. Unlike meta Easter eggs, however, music is an art form, and there is real craftsmanship to it -- hell, people study music theory for a reason. And as several Youtubers have discussed before, there are real structural problems to how a lot of these songs are written. In some cases, it's an issue of cadence, where the way the words are sung don't sound like how they'd be naturally spoken aloud. In Knowing What I Know Now, for instance, sometimes the singers use the wrong emphasis on certain words, just based on where they land in the song, such as when Asha sings about Magnifico showing his "TRUE col-ORS in SHADES of GREEN," even if people don't naturally emphasize the second syllable in the word "colors." In other cases, it's over-stuffing a line with words so that the melody line isn't as memorable, such as in This Wish where the amount of syllables per line are all over the place and sentences get cut in weird places --

Isn't truth supposed to set you free? (9) Well, why do I feel so weighed down by it? (10) If I could show them everything I've seen, (10) Open their eyes to all the lies, then (9) Would they change their minds like I did? (8) But when I speak, they tell me, "Sit down!" (9) But how can I when I've already started runnin'? (8) Oh, this is where we've been, (6) But it's not where we belong, (7) And I may be young, but I know I'm not wrong... (11)

There are also cases where the songs barely use any actual rhymes in favor of half-rhymes or worse twist themselves into pretzels just to make an actual rhyme, such as in I'm a Star, with lines such as "When it comes to the universe we're all shareholders // Get that through your system! (Solar!)" and "Ooh, I'm a star! // Watch out, world, here I are!" (Excuse me while I cringe.) And then of course, most infamously, there are the redundant and otherwise weird lyric choices, most commonly cited in Magnifico's And This is The Thanks I Get?!, such as "I got these genes from outer space!" and "I let you live here for free and I don't even charge you rent!"

By and large, people have not responded as well to Wish's soundtrack as they have for many other Disney musicals. It could also be argued that the songs don't tell the film's story as well as they could've. The most egregious example of this is At All Costs, which is supposed to be our villain and hero singing about the beauty of the wishes the first has collected, but was literally written as a love song first, just because Julia Michaels wanted to write a song that could be played at people's weddings even if the movie in question didn't feature any romance. Even This Wish was written well before the script was finished, and this is when we can tell from all the concept art released by Disney that this movie had been dramatically rewritten at multiple stages of development.

And yet even with this, I still see people making animatics for At All Costs featuring their own characters or Asha and the discarded Starboy concept. (And yes, we'll come back to that.) I still see fan-made music videos featuring This Wish. Hell, even I have some of Wish's songs on my IPhone, and I listen to them actively! Knowing What I Know Now, as much as I see what's technically wrong with it, is still a bop for me. However much I had to take a full-on sanity break after listening to I'm a Star a second time, I do enjoy This Wish and At All Costs, just on their own. I don't think This Wish (reprise) is a bad musical or thematic climax, especially if one considers Magnifico's fear that Sabino's wish was to inspire the next generation through music, and it ends up being a song -- sung by his loving granddaughter -- that ultimately defeats our antagonist. I don't think any of Wish's songs really help tell the story as well as other Disney songs do for their films, but I still think there's room for personal taste here. Music -- like all art -- still has an element of subjectivity. It isn't a science -- yes, there is talent and skill involved that can only be mastered with practice and hard work, but there's still a bit of magic that comes with the finished result, and as much as it might not be popular with the masses, that doesn't necessarily make something worthless, or that public consensus can't change. Tchaikovsky famously hated the work he did for The Nutcracker, as did the critics of his day, only for it to go on to become a staple of holiday entertainment and ballet productions overall. Plenty of cult classic films like Labyrinth and Heathers didn't make a lot of money or get lots of praise when they first came out, but soon enough they found their audience.

"The animation is lazy!"

There's actually a much better video discussing this, made by a real professional animator, and I think I'll just let him handle this.

One thing I want to touch on, though, is Jennifer Lee's commentary about why Wish ultimately wasn't done in 2D animation --

"What happens in hand-drawn is that you have the incredible hand of the artist, but also limitations in what you could do on screen. What happened in CG is you'd have incredible, boundless opportunities, visually, that elevated it — even to the point for some — into realism, which is not what we wanted to do. The more important thing to us was to have a way to find technology that can do everything. Connect to the true vision of the artist, but bring in technology that could finally take away limitations."

-- and yeah, I'm not going to lie, this sentiment leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. The idea that hand-drawn animation somehow limits what art you can create is mind-boggling for anyone working in animation to think, but especially for someone working in Disney animation. I can't help but feel like Uncle Walt would've been ticked if he'd heard anyone suggest this. Anyone who loves animation I think would be annoyed by it, and I'd say people like Hayao Miyazaki continue to prove that Lee's thought process isn't true, considering that his hand-drawn film won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature the same year that Lee's Wish was passed over by the Academy altogether. To be fair, though, this is more a reflection on certain Disney leaders' dismissive attitude toward the medium that built their company as well as the vast majority of the films they're supposedly celebrating, rather than any condemnation of the hard-working animators who worked on Wish. And yes, although no one can argue that Wish ultimately doesn't look as good as its animated peers like Sony's Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse (which was made with half the budget Wish was), that's more the fault of a flawed vision on the part of the filmmakers than anything. It's certainly not indicative of a lack of talent, resources, or caring from the animators themselves.

"Wish would've been so much better if it had featured a love story between Starboy and Asha!"

Okay, let me pop this bubble right now --

None of Disney's official releases have ever indicated Star was going to be Asha's love interest.

The concept art featuring Asha and human!Star? Yeah, that exists, but there's nothing strictly romantic in any of those concepts, like them kissing or even hugging. At All Costs originally supposedly being a love song for Asha and Star? As touched on above, nope, it was even more of a cynical corporate decision than that -- the songwriters just wanted to write a love song that they could repackage and use elsewhere, even if there was no love story to go with it. The thing about Asha and Star supposedly being soulmates? That's derived from a comment in the artbook from Wish co-writer Allison Moore, talking about Asha and Star in their current forms, and so therefore the sentiment was intended platonically --

"Now Star and Asha have an emotional journey. They are soulmates."

And well, just based on a good chunk of the Disney animated films that had come out prior to Wish featuring male and female leads -- Zootopia, Moana, Big Hero 6, Wreck-It-Ralph -- there was really nothing definitive to suggest that our two central characters were going to be romantically linked. And even if Star and Asha were going to be love interests, that still would've been no guarantee of a better movie -- you'd still need compelling, well-developed characters, if you want to likewise have a compelling, well-developed relationship between them. And as I've argued in the past, a movie doesn't need romance to be good. If someone could feel sincere platonic love between Star and Asha as their actual movie selves, then any romance between them wouldn't be needed. I truly believe the only reason that so many people have gotten so hung up on the idea of a Star/Asha romance is because that original platonic "soulmates" idea Allison Moore and others envisioned just didn't ring true for them. They saw more love and interesting chemistry between the original concept art versions of Star and Asha than they did between any of the characters in the finished film...and so they've built upon those flickers of love with their own imagination and then built that mental image up into something that I don't think the filmmakers probably ever intended.

I must be honest, it was kind of a slog, watching Wish for a second time. I stopped multiple times to take notes, unable to just sit back and let the movie wash over me. Even so, I truly appreciate how much time you must've spent to skim through this way-too-long analysis, as well as the votes you all cast in that one poll of mine! I love analyzing Disney, and as much as I don't love Wish, I do think it provided great fodder for new fan creations and has amazing potential as an educational tool about both good storytelling and film-making. And if there are more criticisms of Wish you'd like me to discuss, please feel free to reblog this post with them! Thank you for your support!

To close us out...if you love Wish, then keep on loving it! Don't let anyone -- including me -- tell you otherwise. I don't think a film that was truly the worst thing ever would've attracted as much attention or overanalyzing as Wish has received. And for those of you who are still dissatisfied with Wish, here's a list of films I compiled that you can watch and enjoy instead!

For Starboy/Asha stans...Stardust!

For both Starboy and Chris Pine stans...Rise of the Guardians!

For those of you who love the idea of storytelling magic...Whisper of the Heart!

For those of you hungry for a diversely cast, "woke" fairy tale...Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella (1997)!

For people looking for a colorful, family-friendly musical...Wonka!

For avant-garde animation fans...Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio!

For modern CG animation fans...Puss in Boots: The Last Wish!

And finally, probably most obviously -- for those Disney fans looking for a loving tribute to 100 years of Disney Animation with a bunch of Easter Eggs and good humor...Once Upon a Studio!

Much love to you all! 💛

[ddejavvu]

characters I write for:

marauders era: james potter, sirius black, remus lupin, regulus black, lily evans

marvel: peter parker, matt murdock, eddie brock/venom, bucky barnes, steve rogers, wade wilson, logan howlett

stranger things: eddie munson, steve harrington, jonathan byers, robin buckley, nancy wheeler

criminal minds: aaron hotchner, spencer reid, derek morgan, emily prentiss, jennifer jareau, penelope garcia, david rossi

star wars: anakin skywalker, obi-wan kenobi, rex, cody, fives, echo, hunter, wrecker, crosshair, tech, fox, hound, wolffe, din djarin, darth vader, han solo, shin hati, boba fett, jango fett, bo katan kryze, padme amidala, darth maul, savage opress, luminara unduli, kit fisto + pretty much anyone else except for kylo ren. if you want me to write about someone who's not on this list from the sw universe and they're also not kylo ren just ask and I'll do it.

top gun/top gun maverick: pete 'maverick' mitchell, nick 'goose' bradshaw, tom 'iceman' kazansky, ron 'slider' kerner, leonard 'wolfman' wolfe, rick 'hollywood' neven, beau 'cyclone' simpson, bradley 'rooster' bradshaw, jake 'hangman' seresin, natasha 'phoenix' trace, robert 'bob' floyd, javy 'coyote' machado, mickey 'fanboy' garcia, reuben 'payback' fitch, beau 'cyclone' simpson + anyone else you can think of

miscellaneous: tyler owens, kurt kunkle, indiana jones

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

Watching this really hurt, especially since Lily has no fucking idea what a Mary Sue actually is. She showed a list of characters ranging from

5:17 John McClane By the end of the movie, he's a bloody mess that almost dies over and over

5:28 darth vader He's the villain. Of course, he has to be a threat to the MC and co

5:35 shapered Never actually played the game, but that's the thing she's someone you play as your failure is her failure

5:47 Bryan Mills is also a bloody mess by the end, and before that gets kidnapped because he got cocky

5:54 Indiana jones The first scene in the movie is him failing, he's scared of snakes to the point he won't grab a snake to save himself from drowning (the crystal skull)

6:03 Superman has to deal with the knowledge that he's the only one left from his planet and has to deal with his powers alone with no one to really help him with them so getting his powers under control took trial and error plus he has a physical weakness.

All of these characters have flaws, and their plot doesn't have to break the plot to make it work. if a character is liked by everyone because the plot says so, they have never struggled both emotionally or physically, if they are overpowered to the point it's boring, and if the MC is just you but perfect then that is a Mary sues. Boring characters with shit writing if all those characters were actually Mary sues they A) wouldn't be so popular and B) you wouldn't like them.

The only point she had right was that Ray should have been that little gremlin to be feared.

Which brings me to my next head, banging on the table struggle. She probably didn't watch the Star Wars sequel because if she did, she'd know why Ray was so frazzled after she shot lightning out of her fingertips