#Lisa Genet | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fadingdaggerr · 4 months

Note

HIIII! I LOVE THE FIC YOU WROTE, THE AND NOW? SINCE UHM YOU'VE DONE CASUAL AND RED WINE SUPERNOVA, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO ONE WITH GOOD LUCK, BABE? OF COURSE WITH A HAPPY ENDING BUT WITH LOTS OF ANGST? OH AND IF YOU CAN'T OR TOTALLY DON'T WANT TO, IT'S ALSO FINE!

truth be told

pairing: melissa schemmenti x gn!reader

summary: melissa loves you, in what way, she doesn’t want to know. based on good luck, babe! by chappell roan | 7.8k

includes: they/them used for reader (legit once), r is mean direct during the fights (within reason? up to interpretation), angst, HURT/comfort, happy ending

warnings: internalized homophobia and comphet, unhealthy relationship dynamic, swearing, verbal fighting, light kissing/making out

note: i do think melissa is bisexual, but the song is about a lesbian dealing with comphet, so for the sake of the fic, melissa is meant to be read as a lesbian. let’s go lesbians, let’s go! buncha lesbians coming thru! also u can’t tell me mel isn’t a taurus. be so fr. i know lisa’s a leo but look me in the eyes and say that a primary trait of ‘stubborn’ isn’t melissa. u can’t. ruled by venus? like come on.

I, Melissa Ann Caterina Schemmenti

You’re quite comfortable in this spot on the floor, curled against the couch with your head resting against Melissa’s thigh, rounded nails grazing over the stretch of your neck and exposed shoulder. Eyes numbly glued to the corner of the coffee table, the chattering of the Schemmenti family around you feels far away, not even Vinny and Annette’s arguing over God-knows-what can reach you. It’s peaceful here, even with the yelling and seemingly genetic snort-laugh they all possess. It feels like home in every way.

Something that sounds far away, underwater, that resembles your name passes your ear, but does not breach the wall of comfort around you. The light rocking of your head and grazing nails turning to gentle scratching pulls you back to shore, head shifting to look up at Melissa, eyes scanning her face. All you manage is a questioning hum as you regain your social bearings.

Melissa’s hand slides up your neck to softly hold your chin, “was asking if you’re alright. You’re awful quiet down there by yourself.”

“‘M good, Mel. Just existing, I guess,” you answer, leaning into her more.

Her thumb brushes over your cheek, just barely passing the corner of your lips, foregoing an actual response. The twitch of a smile against her skin has her heart racing, her own light smile fading. Melissa’s mind pushes the casualness to the forefront of her mind, how you are so at ease in this undoubtedly chaotic environment. A sip of her wine replaces the instinct to rip her hand away from you, cross her legs and leave you suddenly without a place to rest.

Take you, Joseph Vincent Peterson

“Why does this credentialing shit have to be so intense? I mean, seriously, didn’t I just fucking do six years of schooling and another two, two, of assisting,” Melissa loudly complains as she goes through all her notes over the counter, “that should be proof enough, but no.”

You grab her tensing hand from across the table, ceasing your organizing of notes by topic, “honey, see how confident you are though? Means you’ll kill it, won’t even be a sweat.”

“You don’t know that,” she says dejectedly, peering back down to her elementary mathematics notes.

“I do,” you say, standing from your seat to round the table and stand behind her. Slowly, you wrap your arms around her, reaching for her balled hands, and leaning to rest your chin on her shoulder, “I know these things. You got this in the bag, pretty.”

Taking a deep breath with closed eyes, Melissa relaxes against you as a lingering kiss is pressed to her cheek. Turning slightly to face you, she presses her own lips to the corner of yours in silent thanks. You suck in a tight breath, she rarely ever allows herself to be so affectionate, even a kiss on the cheek is a rare occurrence. Sure, Melissa is a hugger, with only a select few, but this is so different. Blood rushes to your cheeks, and you are grateful her eyes are back on the notebook and she can’t see the dumbfounded look on your face.

You give her another half hour to obsess over words on a page before convincing her to call it a night, not even you can bear another moment looking at any of this. Admitting defeat, she lets you guide her to the couch, melting into the plastic lining. Melissa watches as you take your place against the arm of the couch, legs crossed in front of you while you flip through channels.

It takes less than ten minutes for the redhead to slowly start scooting closer, creaking plastic making her movements unstealthy. Taking the hint, you uncross your legs to make room for her and open your arms in quiet invitation. Unlike her previous shifting, Melissa nearly pounces into your arms, taking residence against your chest. One hand goes to her hair, scratching her scalp, the other rests on her arm, massaging the muscle.

It’s hard to tell when, or even if, Melissa is asleep on you. Her lack of talking or the slightest movement leads you to believe she’s dead to the world. Only a small whisper of caution passes your mind as your lips press to her crown, lingering there longer than you should. Snuggling into you, the redhead suppresses the smile of utter peace that begs to cross her wine-stained lips.

To have and to hold

Movie nights are always some of your favorite times with Melissa, struggling on a puzzle that you swore you could do. When you were sober. Now, the border still remains incomplete as your attentions divert to the TV when dramatic music begins playing. Admittedly, you aren’t really watching the movie to begin with, but Melissa seems to be so engrossed she hasn’t realized she’s still fidgeting with the same piece.

Aiming for her hand, you flick a puzzle piece into her lap to get her attention. Peeking up over the frames of her glasses, Melissa looks at you quizzically. Gesturing to the puzzle, you look back to her in silent question. She answers in a shrug, moving in tandem with you as you sit up to sit on the couch. A little grin grows as she realizes that she’d get to take her typical spot, but she has something else in mind.

Rushing ahead, she takes your usual spot against the arm of the couch, legs open to make space for your body and arms stretched out in invitation. Without question, you take your place, tucking your face into her neck as her arms wrap around you. Melissa is so warm, so warm that you feel like a cat on a sunspot, settling into her as her breathing calms your heartbeat.

Something switches in your mind, a sense of bravery fills you, and you press your lips to Melissa’s neck gently, lingering against soft skin. You try to pull away, but a hand on the back of your head keeps you in place, and you’re quick to oblige. Lazy, wet kisses glide across blushing skin, never harsh, not one mark left, just simple adoration.

Frayed whimpers leave her as you find a particularly sensitive spot, just below a freckle on the underside of her soft jaw. You can’t help but smile against her at the sound, instantly becoming your mission in life to hear it again and again. Trailing downwards, you stop at her clavicle, allowing your teeth to graze the bone, relishing in her breath hitching. She is chrysanthemum and mirth personified.

Wanting hands pull you up to her lips, and you stay hovering, barely a space between you. Noses brush, nails dig into your neck, hearts rapid. You feel you should tell her before you go any further.

“I love you,” it’s merely a whisper into the miniscule space, but it makes her hands pull you down to her lips. All teeth, all tongue, all need, but she doesn’t match your words.

For better, or for worse

Arm-in-arm, you and Melissa brave the harsh wind of the Philly night weather. She hadn’t believed you, and now she’s proven wrong, of course she passed her credentialing exam with nearly perfect scores. You’ve always told her how you have enough faith in her for the two of you.

Whiskey sours brought you together, at this very bar, having seen each other drinking one after finals junior year, and whiskey sours were how you celebrate every occasion. Ever since then, she has stolen the maraschino cherries from your glass with a grin, always pretending she didn’t.

Three drinks in, Melissa sweet talks you on to the dancefloor. With little room from the sea of people, she stays pressed against you, hands gripping at your sides. As the music slows, she slides her hands up to your neck, looking into you with something you can’t place, but you don’t complain. She’s a heavenly being, especially under the color-shifting lights and strobes. Green irises flick from your lips to your eyes, and there’s something in them that makes you desperately need to kiss her. Fluttering lashes quicken as she catches herself, stepping back before you can think of acting.

Just as much as she seems to not notice the pattern, you pretend not to.

“I’m gonna get a beer,” she shouts over the music, refusing to make eye contact. You manage a nod, watching her disappear into the crowd of drunk dancers. Carefully, you weave through the crowd to the bathrooms, needing a moment to breathe air without sweat mixed in.

After an embarrassing amount of recovery time, and a hit off a pipe offered by a kind stranger, you make your way back out to the bar, scanning for familiar red hair. Spotting her, no longer near the bar, but off to the side with a man. Melissa’s wearing her go on, get me a free drink smile, teeth just barely digging into her bottom lip, and he seems to be perfectly happy to do so. And you let him, cozying up to the bar to order a double to nurse.

Against your better judgment, you periodically check on Melissa and this mystery man. At first, her hands are to herself, and impressively, so are his. A few sips later, and her weight rests on the hand on his leg, leaning into his space with hooded eyes. Bile rises in your throat. You want to leave, but you came together, leaving her isn’t an option, not that it ever has been. When you check again, the man’s hand is cradling her face, and Melissa’s eyes flick to yours briefly.

She wishes she didn’t see the way your lips pursed, forcibly hiding a frown. In an effort to displace this feeling she can’t describe bubbling in her chest, she lets Joe kiss her, rough and wanting. Melissa kisses him back, lets his hands roam, nods when he mumbles to ask to take her home. With an arm around her waist, she walks with him as he walks her out.

Passing by you, she asks him to wait and sidles up next to you, “I’m- uh- I’m going home with Joe. You good to get home?”

“Yeah, love walking” you reply shortly, “just text me the address, so I know the secondary location.”

Melissa gives you an unimpressed look, “not funny. If I need a ride out of there, can I count on you?”

Looking her directly in the eye, you respond, “you can always count on me.”

Joe drives her home the next morning, with a hand on her thigh that makes her skin crawl, but she lets him. When he asks if he can see her again, she tells him she’ll let him know, and he seems to take it in stride. Stepping inside, taking her shoes off, making coffee, she’s fine. But the moment Melissa sits on the couch, a dark, twisted feeling crawls up her back and into her chest at the thought of seeing you later. The inevitable conversation you’ll have makes her feel sick, almost feeling as if she has to hide it despite you knowing.

For richer, or for poorer

It almost feels too good to be real. Here in Melissa’s room, fan blowing, radio playing some classic rock station, on top of her comforter, pressed against her. Her lips dominate yours, tongue stroking yours for another taste of the cherry cola you’d been drinking when you got here, currently going flat on her nightstand. Greedy hands hold your shirt, refusing to let you move, needing you right where she has you.

Some days, she reveled in your attention so much that she would let herself turn her head when you went to kiss the corner of her lips. It always leads here, with her lips on yours, though she particularly loves it when it travels to her room. Your hands on her hips, fingers just barely dipping under her shirt, only the softest of touches. Always so gentle with her, your touch was never anything more than featherlike, especially so in moments like this.

Needing air, Melissa cups one side of your jaw and travels down your chin, to your jaw, to your neck, open mouth kisses littering your skin on the other. Shaky pants pass your lips, spurring her on further, mumbling baby as her teeth nip at the unmarked expanse of your neck. The hand in her hair only scratches her scalp, as it had before, but the slower ministrations match your deep breaths at every pass of her tongue. A thought passes her mind, one that freezes her from head to toe. Melissa needs you like this forever.

Feeling the lack of lips on you, your eyes peek down to Melissa’s paling face. Warmth leaves you as she pulls away, rolling from her side to lay on her back, face fear stricken. Taking the hint, you don’t touch her, just propping yourself up on your elbow against her pillow, “you okay, baby?”

You watch her take a few deep breaths, keeping your eyes on her saints, “I’m fine.”

“I can-” You take a breath yourself, “I can go, if that’s what you need.” Her short tone was making you squirrely, and her eyes forcibly ignoring you wasn’t helping the case.

“You don’t have to go. I said I’m fine,” she realizes her own tone, “I just… I just need a minute.”

“Okay,” you say slowly, rolling off the bed, “I’ll go put something on for dinner… you can take over when you’re done with your minute.” Melissa only looks at the door once you leave, face crumpling as she tries to push tears back.

She doesn’t need you, doesn’t want you, she doesn’t. She doesn’t, she doesn’t, she can’t. Not when you hold her hand to not lose her in crowds, not when you fix her hair before getting out of the car, not even when she caves the moment your lips brush hers. It’s hard to deny the way her heart clenches when you forgo her name, always baby or pretty. It’s easier to say she loves you when she reminds herself you’re her friend.

In sickness and in health

Joseph ‘but call me Joe’ is a major pain in your ass. After three months of having his number, of not mentioning him, she texted him to invite him to the bar with you and your friends. Not once did she mention him coming, yet here he stands in a navy auto-body shop t-shirt. Their previous, singular night together clearly gives him this gnarly confidence, arm around Melissa’s waist and a hand just above her ass.

Your fingers burn from your biting, wishing you could throw the glass in your hand at him. He dares touch her in front of you, and she dares to let him. Each forceful placement of your glass back on the table makes green eyes flick to you, but they dart away before you can look back. Melissa wishes that the permanent frown on your face didn’t make her so upset.

Instead all she feels is acid in her throat, guilt and self-disgust making her squirm under Joe’s touch. Joe. She entirely forgot his presence until his hand slid into her back pocket. Peeking up, she notices that his eyes are not on her or the people talking, but on you, a hard look in his eyes. Acid bubbles, angered that he dares to look at you with such contempt.

Melissa nudges him with her hip to get his attention, cocking her head towards you in silent question. Joe leans into her, “your friend looks at me like I’m breaking a rule touching you.”

“Doesn’t mean you need to give the ugly eye. They’re just looking out for me,” she mutters, taking a sip of the amaretto sour he ordered her. It’s God awful, but she deserves as much in her mind.

Joe just gruffs a laugh, “looking out for you or jealous?” He takes her silence as not understanding, “when you’re not getting goo-goo eyes, I’m getting death rays.”

She won’t dignify an answer, hoping he’ll just take it as processing. Melissa knows, oh, she knows how you care for her, how you do more than just that. How you love her. It makes her feel ill, when it’s so clearly swirling in your eyes. The fact that others know, both her family and not, how they push her towards you, it’s terrifying.

Her mother adores you, always asking if you’re coming to dinner, begging for your presence at every dinner after the second one you attended. Kristin Marie jokes with you, not just insults, even asks your advice on things. Annette calls you Melissa’s other half, and when she gets a stony jade glare, it’s only because you two go everywhere together.

As if she knows it’s on her, she meets your gaze from across the table. Her mouth opens to speak to you, but a hand tugs her chin to the left, and Joe presses a rough kiss to her petallike lips. It’s a dare, a dare to cross him, a dare to even look at Melissa, a dare to take what he claims as his.

Forty horrible minutes pass, and on her way back from the restroom, Melissa scans the room. Everyone was right where she left them, chatting through mouthfuls of chips, except for you. Your spot had been filled in by the others, empty glass still sitting on the coaster. Over his shoulder, Joe gives her a grin, sated, waving his hand to get her closer.

Her hands scramble through her purse the second she’s seated, digging for her phone in hopes of a text from you. A single notification sits on her screen.

To anyone else, to Joe rudely peering over her shoulder to read the message, it would seem normal. However, Melissa knows better. There’s no heart at the end, no little ‘love you,’ probably written after you’d already started your journey. Just simply got tired, walking home.

In irritation, definitely not to shovel away guilt, she lets Joe kiss her again at the end of the night, after she downed another amaretto. Even lets him take her home, though he tried taking it back to hers, but to have him in a bed you have lied in? Unthinkable.

Joe’s kisses are as rough as his hands on her, just short of hurting when he grabs at her breasts. His voice is gruff as he offers to drive her home, despite her not feeling anything close to pleasure, close to some sort of good. It’s divine punishment, it seems.

To love and cherish

Melissa misses you. You are right next to her on the couch, yet she misses you. She’s grown too used to the comfort of laying against your chest, having your arms wrapped around her as you watch whatever movie she decides on. It’s ridiculous, truly. She’s with Joe, she shouldn’t be seeking comfort from anyone else, but her ear longs to be above your beating heart.

You’re still pressed against the arm of the couch, though you stay balled up and keep unblinking attention on the screen. The thought passes her mind to simply scoot up next to you, but it’s unwise with the mood you’re in. Since she called you and said Joe officially asked her to be his girlfriend, you’ve entirely pulled back. Not so much as a kiss on her cheek in six months. Melissa feels like she’s in the thick of withdrawal.

Green eyes feel like crosshairs as you feel them scope your body, attempting to read your displeasure without asking. Truthfully, you want to be here with her, but the clock on your time goes down with each second that gets closer to Joe arriving for their date night. In effort to not cause a fight, you’ve kept away, always leaving before he gets there so as to not be forced to talk. Joseph gets a lot of joy in reminding you he’s there to see his girlfriend.

“What?” You speak into the open air, not bothering to peek at a staring Melissa.

“You’re quiet,” the redhead offers cautiously. She’s seen your bad side, but she’s never been on it. Silence from you is a sort of weapon.

You sigh, “I don’t have anything to say.” More like you don’t have anything good to say.

“You’ve got plenty, or else you wouldn’t be quiet. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Her hand comes to stroke your hair, an attempt to smother the fire, but you duck away from her touch, finally looking at her.

“Just drop it, Melissa. You don’t wanna hear it,” you look back at the TV. It’s the most honest you want to be with her.

The calm demeanor drops, “and how do you know that?”

“Because I know you.”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Tell! Me!”

“You! You are what’s wrong!” You shout as you turn to face her, brows furrowed and nostrils flaring. “You kiss me! You touch me! You tell me you care about me! You hate every woman that gets within ten yards of me, who dares show interest in me. For what?” Melissa is in shocked silence, not answering. “Because you can’t stand that they want me, that I could want them too? Because I could maybe, just maybe, have feelings for someone that isn’t you?”

“That’s not-”

A bitter laugh leaves you, “have you ever stopped to think about what you’re doing to me when you kiss me, let me kiss you, and then just start sleeping with some guy? How do you tell me you care about me more than anything and then kiss him in front of me? I have never hidden how much I love you Melissa, not once, and you rub it in my face?”

Standing from the couch, you try to create distance as you pace with your hands on your hips. You can’t even look at her, knowing the hurt look on her face will break you. You’ll say it’s all fine when it isn’t. This dam cannot be patched. She tries to hide it, but you hear her sniffle as she stands to be level with you.

Her arms cross to create a proactive barrier, “you are the one that just assumes it’s all about you. Joe is a good guy, he cares about me, loves me. He tells me, he tells his friends.”

“And do you care about him? Love him too?”

Melissa’s eyes widen, “I… I could.”

“You could?” It’s almost a laugh. “You sound real confident in that ability. Let me know how that goes.”

The red she sees matches her hair, “and what have you done? Sit and wallow.”

“Oh, sorry, were the many times I said ‘I love you, Melissa’ not clear enough? Or were you just purposefully pretending to hear ‘you’re my bestest platonic pal’?”

“How was I supposed to know what that meant?!”

Your stills, a sudden calm coming over you as you realize the lost cause, “be so fucking rea- you know what? I’m done.” Stepping around her, you go to the door to put on your shoes, feeling like there’s glass coating the soles.

“You’re-”

“Going home,” you say standing, “I can’t do this anymore. At this point, I’m just torturing myself.” There’s no pause before opening the door.

“Please, don’t leave,” Melissa’s voice cracks.

You can’t face her, “I love you. But I can’t say I feel the same about the idea of you only loving me when others aren’t around.”

“I love you, I do. Just, please don’t go.” The door slams in Melissa’s face.

Eyes stay on the driveway as you leave, immediately pulling into your spot, Joe.

Until we death to us part

A surprise dinner for their one year anniversary might just be the most romantic thing Joe has done for Melissa the entirety of their relationship. He called her to tell her to dress to the nines, well maybe the sevens, which made her laugh, quick to hang up to start curling her hair. As she sections her hair, she wonders what kind of restaurant, which cuisine, silently praying that it’s not Italian.

Leaning against his truck, Joe lays on the horn to alert her of his presence, climbing into the cabin as Melissa steps outside. When she gets in herself, Melissa does a once over of his clothing for the evening, hoping to not find an oil stain that seems to be on every single shirt the man owned. None. Not even a mark of too-much-bleach to get rid of an old stain. Collar pressed, not a wrinkle in sight. Joseph bought a new shirt, just for tonight.

“You look handsome,” she says, leaning against the middle console to press her lip to his cheek.

Wiping her gloss from his face, through a cocky grin he says, “thought I should clean up.”

Metallica plays on the radio, no other conversation is even attempted before he pulls into the parking lot of Yamitsuki. Joe’s already a quarter of the way to the door by the time Melissa gets out of the truck, carefully dropping to the pavement in her heels. At least it’s not Italian, at least it’s not Italian.

In hopes to get and keep his attention, her arm wraps around his when he reaches him at the host stand. When the host seats them, Joe yanks his arm from Melissa’s to get in the booth across from her. The redhead sits silently, letting the man order her drink and the appetizer he wants. When he reorders his beer, wanting an American brew, she mentally steps back. Nodding and humming seems to get her through most of these conversations.

A loud laugh from the hibachi station captures both hers and Joe’s attention, though he seems more interested in the puffs of fire coming from the grill. The woman laughing grips the counter as she tries to catch her breath, her date, facing away from Melissa, is shaking with laughter as they rub the woman’s arm. Silver catches the light, and green eyes are drawn to the rings on the date’s hand. A wide silver band, only one constellation engraved into the metal. She doesn’t have to look closer. She knows it’s Taurus, she knows it’s hers.

Tempura, onigiri, even her beloved donburi, they all taste like straw as her mind rotates her constellation brushing against someone new. Melissa doesn’t even have in her to frown when Joe slams his glass on the table to get the attention of the server as they rush past with trays. Peeking away from the adult tantrum over a Budweiser, her eyes go back to the grill.

God, she wishes she hadn’t. Talking kindly to the cook, she gets a view of your profile. Warm lighting makes you glow, the easy smile on your lips makes her heart clench. You’re here, with this woman, and you’re happy. You’re without her and you’re happy. Her grip in the table cloth tightens, pulling everything her way.

“What’s wrong?” Joe asks with a mouthful of noodles. Her eyes snap to him, brows furrowed in confusion, “your face, you look upset. Is it the food?”

She finds it in herself to smile a little, “I’m fine. Just spaced out for a second.”

He doesn’t believe her, so in true Joe-fashion, he talks about everything and nothing to move her attention away from whatever’s bothering her. It would be annoying if it wasn’t a tad endearing.

A silent prayer goes to all deities above when she walks into the empty restroom, Melissa also locks the door to ensure the privacy stays. The ringed fingers gripping her lungs let go, and for the first time since she walked in the restaurant, she can finally take a deep breath. Leaning on her hands against the counter, Melissa looks at herself in the mirror. Time to put your big girl pants on, Schemmenti.

Turning on the sink, Melissa runs her hands under the cold water to cool down, the splotchy red on her chest finally dissipating. Shaking the water from her hands, she nods to herself. Turning on her heel, she forces her shoulders back, spine straight, totally fine. Stepping back into the hall, she immediately collides with another person.

“Shit, I am so sorry,” a familiar voice says as hands hold onto Melissa’s elbows to stop her sway. Long lashes flutter around wide eyes as she only stares, watching your eyes fly from where your hand rests on her arm to her face. Your eyes quickly widen as your hands pull away, though they harden swiftly, concern becoming stone. “Sorry,” is all you mumble before turning away from her, giving up on your journey to the restrooms.

What possesses her, she doesn’t know, but she follows you. Grabbing your arm, she tugs you in the restroom she had just left, locking the door behind her, she leans against it as you just stare at her. The unblinking glare you give is something she hadn’t ever been on the receiving end of, but it feels as awful as she assumed.

“Nothing?”

Your jaw drops a little, and you let out a sharp, breathy laugh, “nothing? Nothing what? Was I supposed to faint?”

“Was maybe thinking you wouldn’t just walk past me when I haven’t seen you in six months.”

“And why’s that?” At her lack of answer, your head tilts, “did you want me to stay behind glass to break in case of sudden realization?”

“Sudden realization?” It could be better to play dumb.

Biting your cheek, you look at the ceiling before you speak, “yes. Sudden realization. Maybe realize that kissing me, wanting me to kiss you, it’s pretty gay. Very gay, actually, in my professional opinion.”

“I’m not gay,” Melissa mumbles, twiddling with her fingers. Maybe playing dumb wasn’t the move.

You nod slowly, “right.”

“I’m not. I love Joe, we’re here for our anniversary. I’m not gay.”

Closing your eyes, you exhale deeply, “glad that’s settled. Can you stop holding me hostage?”

Melissa can feel the weight of your words. You’re not just a hostage of this room. You’ve been perpetually held hostage by your feelings for her, imprisoned for years and years, with never getting the love you bore in return. She tries to step closer to you, but you move at the same time, pivoting around her and unlocking the door. Your name leaving her lips in a cracked voice makes you halt, but the simmering fire in your chest refuses to let you soften.

“Let me go, Melissa. Should be easy, since, you know, you don’t love me, not really.”

“B-” The door shuts in her face again.

This is my solemn vow.

—☽—

Melissa wakes with a jolt, beads of sweat gliding down her spine. Heaving breaths constrict her chest and she drops her head into her hands in an attempt to focus and calm herself. The tight feeling in her chest dissipates as a final deep breath leaves her lungs, face cooling and heart slowing. Lifting her head from her hands, she peers to the right to make sure she hadn’t woken Joe.

Perhaps she would have, had he been there.

Joe was only ever home maybe two nights a week, always ‘working late’ and coming home well rested the next morning. Nina was getting most of his time these days, all his attention, love, and acknowledgement. It was getting hard to keep track of the times he’d almost called her Ni instead of Mel, after it hit double digits, she didn’t care anymore. It was clear now, more than ever, that she was his wife in nothing but name.

Only in her dreams does she get a level of peace, the smell of patchouli and spearmint comforting her in the haze of sleep. Oversized knit sweaters and denim brush her skin in this personal Eden, but the morning sun brings her to gasoline and another woman’s perfume.

A part of her, deep in the back of her mind, screams, and it has only gotten louder over the last ten years. The voice screams, bordering on blood-curdling, telling her how much she hates him, how much she doesn’t love him, how much she regrets him. Every morning she wakes with him gone, the more she listens to that little voice. Every time she smells Chanel on the Eagles jacket she bought for their five year anniversary, the voice gets a little louder.

The voice warps and becomes familiar as Melissa stares blankly at the empty space beside her. You could? Let me know how that goes. If you were able to see her now, you’d be giving her that raised brow, biting your inner lip to keep from saying something she probably didn’t want to hear. In this moment, she would do anything to hear what you’d say, even if she may cry, even if she doesn’t know where you are.

With her mind running a mile a minute, she was unable to will herself back into sleep, giving up to make coffee instead. As if the universe wanted to mock her, the door quietly opens and closes, careful footsteps walking through the living room before the pause in the doorway to the kitchen. Joe and Melissa just stare at each other blankly, silence permeating their existence in these four walls. Without another word, she just pours him a cup of coffee, spooning in a little sugar before sliding it towards him.

Joseph, to his credit, reads that something is wrong, terribly wrong. There’s no anger on Melissa’s face, not even a twinge of sadness. The few times she was awake when he got home, she wouldn’t even look at him, just frown, but now, nothing. Sipping his coffee, he accepts the fate that comes at him like a fastball.

Before he even fully sits down across from her, she speaks without breaking eye contact, “I want a divorce.”

Joe did not argue, he’d seen this long coming. He saw it when they told her parents they were engaged, how Annette had to purse her lips, Kristin Marie taking her sister aside to talk privately. He loved Melissa, for a time, but he knew she loved the non-existent obligation to him, and he drifted. Regrets of his behavior disappeared the less Melissa seemed to care. Their positions were identical; he is only her husband in name.

By the end of March, he was fully moved out and placing his key in the palm of her hand. Pausing his steps, he turns back to Melissa, pressing a short kiss to her cheek, “I hope you find what you need.”

July is Melissa’s favorite month. No school starting or ending, no prep days just yet, not even a single manilla folder on the coffee table. Just Melissa, Cabernet, and the sunlight. She felt content under the sun, warming her skin and making the freckles across her chest and shoulders bloom. When Barbara invited her to the beach, she almost said no, until the mention of a private beach hut and bottomless margaritas.

By the second marg, the cackles coming from the hut could be heard from the waterfront, not that the two women cared. The third, and beginning of the fourth, the conversation went from silly to serious, both women speaking in not-so-hushed voices.

“He just didn’t care. I said I wanted a divorce, and all I got was okay. Was expecting some sort of fight,” Melissa says as she plays with the pink umbrella in her drink.

Barbara’s head drops to the side, “to be fair, dear, you weren’t really in it anymore either. You can’t seriously think he couldn’t pick up on that.”

“Wasn’t expecting a screaming match or anything, just a talk. I tried making it work, he’s the one who was out and about with Nina.”

“Melissa Ann,” Barbara starts, “you have been mentally checked out of that marriage before you even walked down the aisle. I’ve known you seven years, and I’m sorry, but it’s been clear you didn’t love him anymore. If you ever did.”

The redhead stares at Barbara with a heavy look, “what do you mean by that?”

“I’d like to think I know you well. And knowing you means I see you, see you as you are. That man, any man, is not what you long for.” Putting her drink on the table, Barbara reaches over to grab Melissa’s hand, squeezing it lovingly, “you look more in love in those university photos that you do in your wedding ones.”

Melissa fiddles with her fingers, “I’ll never have that back, I’m too late. It’s too late.”

“It’s not. Not too late to give yourself the space to see yourself, to find who makes you happy,” she reassures her friend. The tears threatening to spill from Melissa’s eyes make her tug her in for a hug, “you will be okay. And you won’t be alone.”

—☽—

Elaine stands from the table slowly, avoiding Melissa’s eyes as she mumbles a bye and leaves the bar. Six months down the drain, all because Melissa wasn’t ready to move in, just barely having given the woman the code to the door so she could let herself in. She’d called Melissa scared and a child, but what hurt the most, a coward. The redhead didn’t even dignify her with a real response, just saying if you’re done, then go. I won’t stop you.

Sipping the last of her drink, Melissa pays the tab for her vodka soda and the cosmopolitan Elaine had, telling the bartender to keep the change as she leaves to walk home. Walking the three miles home wasn’t going to be fun, but she could maybe clear her head, definitely get tired enough to fall asleep on the couch.

Ten minutes into her journey, a voice from nearby was calling out, catching Melissa’s attention immediately.

“Bosco! C’mon, inside time!” The laugh that follows stops Melissa in her tracks, another call of Bosco has her walking quickly to find the source. Under a streetlight, she pauses.

Across the street, in a little fenced yard, was a Brittany spaniel doing laps around the yard, darting and dashing away from the owner. Giggles filled the yard as the dog and owner seemingly played tag, the collar jingling in tandem with the laughter. Green eyes trail away from Bosco. You.

You look the same you had the last she saw you, apart from your hair being longer, smile lines a little deeper. Melissa can’t help it, eyes going to your hands, scanning for rings she doesn’t find. No wedding band, but especially, no constellation. Had you gotten married and divorced like her? Were you just the kind to not wear your ring? She doesn’t think so. Are you happy? You look happy, she hopes you’re happy. How long have you been here? Only two miles from her? Last she knew, you left Philly to no-one-would-tell-her-where.

She watches you stop running, hands on your knees as you speak breathily, “alright, for real. Inside time, Bosco baby!” Tears spring to her eyes as your grin grows, watching your dog gallop towards you and almost knock you over. “Oh, you’re excited to watch Living Single, huh? Let’s go.” Melissa watches Bosco trot next to you as you disappear behind the door, from her.

A watery smile crosses her lips, you were still watching the show you watched together nearly every night. Melissa still remembers the nights where you would play with her hair, twirling it around your fingers as she sunk into your chest, pressing soft kisses to her head as you giggled at something Khadijah said to Max. Those nights were her only sense of comfort, and for years, the mere memory would make her heart quake.

Pressing on, she keeps on her way home. Instead of falling asleep when she finally gets to her couch, Melissa turns on Living Single and curls against the arm of the couch, nudging her nose into plastic-wrapped fabric. She can almost smell the incense and mint gum.

For the next couple of weeks, Melisa takes it upon herself to go on more walks. Walks to the deli, to the bar, to the coffee shop, even to the park. Occasionally, there are days where she takes the longer path, one that passes the fenced yard of a brick building. To her dismay, she has yet to see you. Part of her panics, thinking that you may have seen her and were avoiding being seen. The rational part reminds her that you have a life. Luck just seems to be running low.

On a chilly Thursday, however, she stares at her feet to keep the wind from making tears and smudging her eyeliner. The clacking of steps on the pavement and jingling of a collar brings her eyes up, a familiar spaniel practically tugging against the blue leash. Bosco looks at Melissa’s still form, and starts pulling harder, trying desperately to meet a new friend.

“BoBo,” you almost whine, looking up from the grocery list on your phone, “hell you doing bud-”

Stopping in your tracks, your arm jerks as your dog pulls, but you stay in place. Wide eyes meet, and all either of you can do is stare. With a huff, Bosco pulls again, forcing you closer to Melissa. Nudging her hand, he begs to be pet, forcing her hand on top of his head.

You swallow the lump in your throat, speaking quietly, “you can pet him.”

Wordlessly, without taking her eyes off of you, her nails scratch gently at the dog’s head. Your own eyes flick around her face, only quickly dipping to where her hand pets Bosco. No ring. Shaking your head, you look back up.

“Melissa,” you say with a little nod. The corner of her lips turns up at hearing her name from you. “How are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good…” She clears her throat, “how are you?”

“Yeah, good. You still teaching?”

A little smile stretches across her face, “second grade, over at Abbott in West. Eleven years, almost, now.”

“That’s nice, Abbott’s nice. Micah’s daughter’s starting there next year,” you say, fidgeting with the leash in your hands.

A surprised laugh leaves her, “Micah’s got a kid? Jesus…”

“I know,” you chuckle, “the man who still ties his shoes with bunny ears.”

Bosco takes the second of silence to hop up on Melissa, front paws going to her chest as he tries to sniff and lick her face. The motion shocks Melissa, who only manages a little oof! You’re quick to move, stepping close to hold under his arms and gently pull him back towards you, still hopping and trying to get to Melissa.

“Dude, what the hell?” You say, looking down at your dog, before quickly going back to Melissa, “I’m sorry about him. New people are apparently chew toys to him.”

“It’s okay,” she replies with a smile, she’s more than okay right now. Entirely stunned by the newfound closeness, the time passing around only really hits her as a car honks at a bicycle in the street, insecurity crawling in. Clearing her throat, she adds, “I- uh- it was nice seeing you.”

The little smile falls from your lips, “oh… Okay, yeah. Nice seeing you, Mel. Sure I’ll see you around.” With a little frown, you gently tug Bosco’s leash, him immediately walking with you.

Melissa turns quickly and starts to follow you, almost running to catch up. “Wait, wait. That came out wrong. I didn’t mean go, I just- it is nice to see you,” she speaks through little pants. “Would you wanna get coffee or a drink sometime? Catch up? Only if you want to,” she rushes the last part, trying not to seem as desperate as she is.

And there it is. The little grin she loved so much, had missed so much. You try to suppress it, but it’s entirely impossible. “Whiskey sours?”

—☽—

Whiskey sours. Coffee. Meeting at Wawa for lunch. Diner pancakes for supper. It was small, and then it was damn near every day for weeks on end. Time had taken the anger she had last seen in you, replaced with sheer nerves, and now comfort once again. Melissa slowly gives in and shares little things, trying to gain your trust. The lack of any Joe-mention was telling enough, as if no ring wasn’t practically shouting. To be subtle or to not be subtle, that is the question. But this is Melissa Ann Caterna Schemmenti.

“Random question.”

“Potential random answer,” you reply through a bite of your burrito.

Melissa mulls over her words, “is six months together not stupid soon to move in with someone? My ex called me a child for saying no fucking way.”

“Personally, yeah. Knowing you, even bigger yeah. Clearly didn’t know you well enough to be moving in with you.”

Melissa nods as she wipes her lips with a napkin, “no, she clearly did not.”

The pause of your chewing only lasts a brief moment before you look up, “her loss.” There’s no hiding the blush that covers Melissa’s face.

Through lunch, and the subsequent walk to finish the never ending conversation, neither of you really want to leave the other. Every topic carries to another, nearly twelve years apart coming undone the closer you sit. You fumble through inviting her over, with the mention of thinking you have the ingredients for sours, as if you hadn’t bought everything the night before.

Late into the night, with the TV low and Bosco curled in his bed, you rest against the arm of the couch. Melissa keeps her legs tucked to her chest, chin resting on her knees as her eyes struggle to focus on the screen. Sitting here with you, it’s so hard to not want to be held by you, it feels almost second nature. The churning in her mind makes her entirely unaware of the attention on her.

Shifting, you rest your back against the arm, putting one foot down on the floor. A socked foot pokes Melissa, making her jump slightly. Prehnite eyes flick towards you, quickly scanning over your position. She bites her inner cheek, eyes meeting yours in silent question. The answer she receives is a weak attempt to reach for her, too lazy to say anything.

Lightning quick, Melissa lays on top of you, taking her place in the warmth of your neck. Your arms wrap around her snuggly, holding her as if she would disappear. She feels your nose nudge her hair, a little movement against her forehead feels like a smile, one that matches her own. Gently, with a butterfly's touch, Melissa pressing a short kiss to the column of your throat before resting again.

She loves you. She does, she does, she can.

i’ve got a doctorate in projecting

if you’re looking for a longer form of a similar concept then please, if u haven’t, read the entwined series by @lot-of-nothing it is INCREDIBLE i’m speechless

feedback appreciated as always <3

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #lisa ann walter #abbott elementary #lgbtq fanfiction #lesbian #lgbtq

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letomills · 7 months

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A set of 23 geneticized & townified skins, including defaults for S1-S2-S3-S4 and the alien skin (choose between 2 alien options). Also, multiple sets of showerproof versions of these 23 skins, for those of you who are interested in custom body shapes.

This set is an evolution of this skin palette & its accompanying showerproof versions. I reused the old files, meaning that you can switch from the old palette to the new very easily (don't try to combine them though - see details under the cut).

Credit for the original skin textures goes to @whysim, @h0nkytonkangels, Nat / @theboldandthebeautifulsims, @pooklet and Tea Leaf, thank you so much to them!

First, let's talk about the regular set for Maxis shapes, then we'll get to the showerproof sets for custom body shapes.

1. The regular set

The palette contains 22 natural shades including S1, S2, S3 & S4 defaults + 2 options for the alien default (choose one). Skins 1-22 are geneticized and townified, the alien skins are townified. If you don't want all 23 skins, you can absolutely pick and choose, the genetic spectrum won't be disrupted.

Download skins: SFS / Mega

original 1 - original 2 - original 3

original 4 - original 5 - original 6

original 7 - original 8 - original 9

original 10 - original 11 - original 12

original 13 - original 14 - original 15

original 16 - original 17 - original 18

original 19 - original 20 - original 21

original 22 - original 23 h0nky - original 23 TeaLeaf

I edited some of the original textures so that: • everyone TU-EU has the appropriate fat, normal and fit states (for the alien textures to show up as they should, please use Argon's alien and zombie fitness fix) • all elders have wrinkles, except on TeaLeaf's Stargazer (I used @simnopke's subtle wrinkles) • all toddlers have the cute toddler teeth and babies have no teeth, • teeth from Nat's, Pooklet's and Tea Leaf's skins were replaced either with ones from the Whysim skins or the ones used on @serabiet's Those Darn Skins, just because they're less bright and I like that better.

I also fixed the toes on the Whysim37 skins and edited some boobs ↓

The number at the end of every file name (e.g. 0.05, 0.08, 0.1...) gives you the genetic value of that skin. To learn more about skin genetics, see Rikkulidea's tutorial.

💞 To the people who were using the old palette and want to switch to this one: all you need to do is delete the old skins from your downloads folder and replace them with the new ones (don't forget to delete the alien default you don't want). The new skins are on the same files as the old ones (although they haven't all kept the same number), except for skin #11 which is new. This means that after you make the switch, your sims who had skins from the old palette will update without you having to do anything with their genetics in simPE. And if you change your mind after having a look at your sims with the new palette, you can always switch back to the old one. The same files being reused also means that you can't use skins from the new palette alongside skins from the old, as they will conflict. The only exception is new skin #11, which is on a new file and can therefore be used alongside the old palette without issue. All of that also applies to the showerproof skins.

~~~

2. The showerpoof skins

What are showerproof skins? They are skins linked to a custom body shape (or body shapes). When you give a showerproof skin to a sim, that sim will have the body shape that the skin is linked to when they are nude (taking a bath, streaking, doing ACR stuff, etc.). Showerproof skins have no effect whatsoever on clothing, because clothes use their own meshes.

These showerproof skins are for: • Melodie9 fat family • Momma Lisa F / Melodie9 Fat M • Androgyny F / Lifa's Trans M • Trans Melodie9 Fat M / Trans Momma Lisa • Dummy Thicc • MartaXL edit • Athletic Girl / Lean Body Builder

They are repo'd to the regular skins above: you need the regular set for the showerproof sets to work. Like the regular set, they're geneticized, except for the alien ones. You'll have to choose if you want them to be townified or not (townified skins can appear on new townies and NPCs that spawn, non-townified skins cannot).

The required meshes are included, don't forget to choose between blockfeet/sexyfeet/Marvine feet and Maxis hands/smooth hands. If you're missing meshes, the affected sims will appear as floating heads or will be missing half their bodies when naked (it won't break your game in any way, it's just definitely not the intended result).

❥ Melodie9 Fat Family (M9Fat)

TM/TF/AF/EF are linked to Melodie9 fat TM/TF/AF/EF, AM & EM are both linked to Melodie9 fat AM. Children and younger are Maxis.

Download Melodie9 fat family: SFS / Mega

❥ Momma Lisa - Melodie9 Fat Male (ML-MFM)

AF & EF are linked to Momma Lisa, AM & EM are linked to Melodie9 Fat AM, TF/TM are linked to Melodie9 Fat TF/TM.

Download ML-MFM: SFS / Mega

Note on the included meshes: the original nude fat family meshes are from Melodie9's MTS, but turns out those are, well, not how top and bottom meshes are supposed to be: all of them are full-body, doubling the polycounts unnecessarily (I somehow only realized that today). So that's fixed now, and I took the opportunity to add preg morphs to the teen meshes.

❥ Androgyny AF-EF - Lifa's Trans AEM (AndroF-AMTr)

AF/EF are linked to Androgyny AF/EF, AM & EM are linked to Lifa / @withlovefromsimtown's Trans Male. Teens and younger are Maxis.

Download AndroF-AMTr: SFS / Mega

✨Alternative set: if you want teens to have trans shapes too (choose either the "AndroF-AMTr" set above or the "AndroUF-UMTr" set below) ↓

❥ Androgyny TF-AF-EF - Lifa's Trans TM-AEM (AndroUF-UMTr)

TF/AF/EF are linked to Androgyny TF/AF/EF. TM, AM & EM are linked to Lifa / @withlovefromsimtown's trans male shapes. Children and younger are Maxis.

Download AndroUF-UMTr: SFS / Mega

❥ Trans Momma Lisa - Trans Melodie9 Fat Male (TrML-TrMFM)

AF & EF are linked to @kaluxsims's Trans Melodie9 fat Male, AM & EM are linked to her Trans Momma Lisa. Teens are Melodie9 Fat TF/TM.

Download TrML-TrMFM: SFS / Mega

Note on the included meshes: you'll see that they're available in 3 versions (choose one - previews are included). The "Leto edit" blockfeet & sexyfeet versions better match all the underwear and swimwear that I've shared for these body shapes (especially in the case of TrML).

❥ Dummy Thicc (DT)

AF & EF linked to @digisims2's Dummy Thicc, TF linked to my Dummy Thicc TF. All others are Maxis.

Download Dummy Thicc: SFS / Mega

❥ MartaXL

AF & EF linked to @brattylulu's MartaXL, TF linked to Melodie9's fat TF. All others are Maxis.

Download MartaXL: SFS / Mega

✨ Alternative set: if you'd rather have M sims linked to Melodie9 fat male (choose either the "MartaXL" set above or the "MartaXL-MFM" set below) ↓

❥ MartaXL - Melodie9 fat male (MartaXL-MFM)

AF & EF linked to Brattylulu's MartaXL, TF/TM/AM-EM linked to Melodie9's fat TF/TM/AM. Children and younger are Maxis.

Download MartaXL-MFM: SFS / Mega

❥ Athletic Girl / Lean Body Builder (AG-LBB)

TF, AF & EF are linked to Marvine / @blueheavensims's Athletic Girl; TM, AM & EM are linked to Synapticsim / @blueheavensims's Lean Body Builder. Children and younger are Maxis.

Download AG-LBB: SFS / Mega

Note on the included meshes: you'll have to choose between 2 versions, either "HD" or "low poly" (previews are included). The HD meshes are the top and bottom meshes that BlueHeavenSims shared here, with a couple tweaks (smoothed normals on the forearms, fixed shoulders on the LBB fat morphs) - they have sexyfeet, smooth hands, 3D nipples and are high-poly (6,454 poly for full-body AG; 8,601 poly for full-body LBB). The low-poly meshes are top and bottom meshes I made based on Marvine's original AG and Synapticsim's original LBB v.2.0 (I added morphs with BlueHeavenSims's morphs as reference) - they have blockfeet, Maxis hands and are low-poly (1,960 for full-body AG; 2,186 poly for full-body LBB).

Further info

All of these skins are tooltipped, have their custom thumbnails and are sortindexed so that they will appear tidily set after set in your custom skins bin. If you use other skins though, there is a chance that those will appear jumbled up with mine if their sortindex numbers happen to clash. It's only an aesthetic issue but if it bothers you, see this tutorial by Kurimas on how to change the order in which clothes appear in the CAS catalogue (it works for skins and other bodyshop content too).

Why make the showerproof skins repo-only? 1. Repo'd files = smaller files. 2. If you don't like the textures that I picked for the regular set, you can replace them with your favorites in simPE if you know how to do that and all the repo'd files will follow suit. This way you can get all the showerproof skins to have the textures that you like with much less work than if you had to edit them one by one.

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bogleech · 6 months

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What's your favourite Resident Evil creature design? Mine is Lisa.

I reviewed almost each and every one in the canon for one Halloween marathon but digging through them to figure out my top favorites probably would take time so my top ones are:

Ivy: absolutely flawless and iconic design, can't believe they scrapped it in the remake. The simple three petals replacing the entire head of a crude humanoid is a beautiful haunting look. I love that you know it's going to do something unpleasant when you notice it has NO fangs or claws, and indeed when it catches you it just swallows your head, and then it STEAMS because it's that acidic and your headless body crumples to the ground. Hilarious.

NAUTILUS: an obscure one, only two of them exist in the sewers of one of the spinoff games and are implied to be a failed experiment that got flushed. In any setting with genetic engineering I always want to see the messed up errors that are barely recognizable. It's hard to even find clear images of Nautilus but it seems to be a big living womb that spits out swimming, exploding embryos. It also has little appendages on it like a roast turkey. Adorably abnormal.

DRAGHIGNAZZO: actually two creatures stuck together who are made out of mutated barnacles, with two different heads that dangle off the back. Visually it's such a confusing design and so difficult to follow, which is clearly intentional. When I finally figured out its anatomy, I drew a quick little cartoon explanation:

They stick together with the left one's big arm dangling! And they have those big "breathing holes" on their "necks" that seem to represent a bivalve siphon. There's some distinct aspects of geoduck in their design, too.

CHIMERA: a top favorite from the very first game. They seem brundlefly-inspired, but maybe with spider in there originally (later games explicitly called them flies), and so messed up that the original design features a mouth in their chests. I love that they appear in only a single laboratory hallway near the end of the game and aren't even an especially threatening encounter. They just threw in this extra little weirdo to show you how far the experiments were going, and to maybe shake things up last-minute with one last new enemy you don't see coming.

GLOBSTER: I love the globster "phenomenon" in "cryptozoology," even if they're never anything but dead whales and sharks. The idea of a weird blob washing ashore and freaking people out is just really fun, so then Resident Evil Revelations 2 opens with a beach full of unidentifiable lumps and when you get too close they show they have a big old goofy mouth! They're so ghastly and so cute, just big sleepy lazy piles with silly teeth! Oh and yeah they used to be people or something I guess that's pretty messed up.

#resident evil

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gillymugs · 5 months

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“He couldn’t have been more wrong about her”

Concept art of my ocs conception, (Her first ever ‘REAL’ memory) A secret BOW.

Her ‘father’, a CEO for a competitor in the global biotech industry outsourced William and Wesker in an effort make his next of kin (as he’s infertile) in secrecy, which is of upmost importance to her father but unbeknownst to him, William Birkin takes the money and opportunity to genetically engineer (my oc )using Lisa Trevor’s (and maybe even Wesker’s ) DNA, while also infecting her with the G virus while incubated. After she is given to her father they keep a close eye on her in the two years leading up to Raccoon cities demise. Wesker believed her to be a failure but birkin held out hope. (Maybe I’ll write more later but that’s all for now)

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tmntkiseki · 2 days

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I finally finalized my design for a 2003 edition of Mona Lisa! Originally, I was planning to make her green like her original 1987 incarnation, but the brown color palette ended up being so appealing.

General lore: Escaped genetic experiment of Bishop's whose DNA includes that of various lizard and salamander species (especially axolotls.) Originally wanted to be a fashion designer, although her mother was pushing her to study physics in college due to her good grades in science. (Unfortunately, this and that happened and she ended up being put on literal ice for two years until a lucky accident allowed her make her long-awaited get away.) Very much a fun-loving, mischievous, and occasionally rude party girl who, nonetheless, can be pretty scary when she's mad and utilizes a combination of guns, explosives, and her tail to great effect in battle. Owing to being an Australian immigrant, she comes with the associated accent and all the slang you'd expect. (Ex: Referring to friends as "mates.")

Smol bonus:

I am... really, really attached to this ship HELP.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt mona lisa #tmnt michelangelo #michelangelo x mona lisa #monangelo #my art #kiseki queue #Can you tell I finished the reference sheet after I drew the Mona/Mikey piece SDGJKGJ

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galadrieljones · 2 months

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Chartreuse, P.A.D.R.E., The World Beyond coda, and some other potentially wild connections to Daryl Dixon season 2 (Team Delusional)

Hello friends. This post contains spoilers pertaining to recent script leaks, outlined in this helpful post by @bookqueenrules. If you don't want to know anything about these leaks, you can read this post all the way until I post a WARNING. At that point, you should stop!!

Anyway, here we go. Let's look at the shot above.

When I saw this shot in the DD2 trailer, I paused for several reasons. First of all, and most obviously, I saw the Mona Lisa, which is housed at the Louvre. Recall this shot from season 1, which draws a visual connection between the Mona Lisa (shot in the left side of the forehead) and Beth. Daryl literally stops to look at her, as if he is seeing exactly what we are seeing.

Now, the second big thing I noticed in that shot from the trailer, and what I want to talk about today, were several bottles of some sort of green liquid...

These are definitely bottles of CHARTREUSE.

Chartreuse is a unique French liqueur made of alcohol infused with 130 different herbs, flowers, and plants, and which always appears to be either bright green or yellow. Of course, the color green is always interesting to TDers when it is used out of context (ie: on things that are not usually green). It reminded me of two other important out-of-context examples of green in TWDU: the green chlorine gas from The World Beyond and The Ones Who Live, as well as the green corrosive substance which causes Amanda's death in the Tales episode "Davon."

The thing is, while it seems out of context here, it's really not. Chartreuse is supposed to be green. Very green. As far as alcohols go, it, just like moonshine, has quite a bit of symbolic significance pertaining to what's going on in TWDU...

A Quick History of Chartreuse

Chartreuse has many imitators, but much like French Champagne, there is only one real Chartreuse. Real Chartreuse is very expensive because it is in limited supply, literally produced by Carthusian monks near Paris. It is named for a monastery in the Chartreuse Mountains near Grenoble, France. It began with an alchemical recipe in 1605, presented to the Carthusian monks in the monastery outside of Paris by French King Henry IV, called an "elixir of long life." Over 120 years later, it was enhanced by a monk named Brother Gerome Maubec, and over the next 60 years became quite popular in France.

Anyway, during the French Revolution in 1793, the Carthusian monks were exiled from France. They took refuge in Spain until 1816 during Napoleon's reign, when they returned to France and continued to hone and develop their "elixir of long life." But in 1903, they were exiled again, their distillery confiscated by the French government, and they returned to Spain, specifically a city in Catalonia named Tarragona where the French monks would remain, distilling the only authentic Chartreuse in the world, until they were finally invited back to France after World War II.

Parallels to French History in DD season 1

Okay, why is any of this important? To answer this question, we need to return to the World Beyond season 2 coda, but first, we should recall the events of Daryl Dixon season 1. In season 1, Daryl is taken in by Catholic nuns in an abbey near Marseille. He befriends a nun who implores him to embark on a journey to Le Havre, a place called the Nest, where he will deliver Laurent, a "sacred" boy whose "power" we don't really understand. When they finally arrive at the Nest with Laurent, we meet Losang, who is, in fact, a monk, and who has just come from Spain. Losang is not just a monk, and he wasn't always a monk. Though we know little about his past, we do know that he is originally American, and that he came to Paris to study before the fall.

In season 1, we also meet Genet whose movement The Power of the Living (or Pouvoir des Vivants) espouses strong French Revolutionary vibes. She wishes to return the power to the people in France, implying that in order to do this, the people must rise up to "usurp" said power from somebody else. We don't know for sure who Genet's true enemies are, but it does seem that Genet's enemies have some relationship to Losang, The Union of Hope, the Nest, and the USA, hence her relentless hunt for Daryl and Laurent and her impending assault on the Nest. She even shouts "Vive le France!" during the arena fight at the end of season 1, an exclamation associated with the Storming of the Bastille in 1789.

Losang's faction the Union of Hope is described in season 1 as a movement that unites all religions and all people. While it is helmed at the Nest in Le Havre, it knows no borders. We meet several sub-factions in France, including Lou's group of "Lost Boys" as well as Fallou's people in Paris. We also get some sense that there are arms of the faction in Spain, as Isabelle mentions a spaniard on the radio, and Losang has come from a pilgrimage in Spain, one that @frangipanilove has written about brilliantly. Read here.

The World Beyond: The Science of Wildfire

Let's return now to the World Beyond coda. In the coda, we meet a nameless French scientist who downloads the contents of several hard drives onto her laptop at what appears to be an old bioresearch laboratory, somewhere in France. One of the hard drives contains several folders of interest, including one titled "TB Ellis Papiers" and another titled "Slingerland," which is currently still a mystery, though very interesting, as it is the name of a prominent American musical instrument manufacturing company from the mid-to-late 20th century, which mainly manufactured drum kits and guitars. (If anybody has their own theories on Slingerland, let me know, as it's an obsession for me lol).

The French scientist proceeds to watch a video of correspondence from Dr. Jenner from season 1, who discusses at length many scientific angles on producing or addressing a cure or some sort of treatment or mitigation factor for the Wildfire virus.

As she is watching, an assassin enters with a gun and asks if she is on the "Primrose Team." She corrects him to say that she is on the "Violet Team," and that the Primrose Team was in Toledo, Ohio at the time of the fall. The Teams, as we can gather, are groups of scientists, possibly dispersed internationally, who developed the Wildfire virus and, in their efforts to curb its effects, the French teams specifically, created deadly variants, which, according to Jenner in the video, are not endemic to the US. We believe that the Jenners were members of the Violet Team, given their correspondence with the French scientist on the Violet Team and the fact that Jenner's computer assistant is named "Violet." Of course, that's just speculation...

The assassin in question seems to be unaware of the details of what's gone on with the French teams and is only carrying out assassinations on his leader's behalf. He mentions that they are no longer simply jailing the scientists. They're killing them. His faction, which I believe is the Power of the Living, blames the scientists for causing the Wildfire spread, and also for "making it worse." He shoots the scientist in the head and leaves, at which point, even despite the headshot, she turns into a walker and runs violently toward the door.

In this interaction, we learn that at some point in the first ten years after the fall, a major faction (likely the Power of the Living) began hunting the scientists responsible for the Wildfire virus, jailing, and killing them. Some of the scientists were in America at the time, in Ohio, and we think that some of them are still there, and that they possibly attempted to migrate down to the CDC in Georgia at the beginning of the outbreak. The reason for this is that there are variants of "smart" walkers which seem to exist *only* in Ohio and Georgia and *not* in Virginia. In seasons 1-4 and 11 only, we run into walkers who can run, climb, and use tools. Some even have keepsakes, such as the very first walker we see in "Days Gone Bye." She reaches for her stuffed bear, which implies some semblance of "memory" hanging on from her old life.

Mainly these walkers are encountered in Atlanta and later at the Commonwealth. Since Jenner verifies in his video that he hasn't seen any evidence of variants at the American CDC, this suggests that the variants arrived in Georgia at some point in the first three weeks of the outbreak, or before Rick enters Atlanta for the first time.

Anyway, given that we meet one of the scientist in the WB coda, this suggests that there are more in existence, but that they've simply left France. She came back to see if the Primrose team might be there, after all this time. She was wrong, but this scene has given us many massive clues. This is where the folklore of Chartreuse becomes very interesting.

When the Carthusian monks, or the makers of the "elixir of long life" were kicked out of France, BOTH times they went to Spain.

In Spain, they continued their operation until the French were so threatened by it, they finally invited them back after WWII. Given all the WWII callbacks we get in DD season 1, including the revelation that Daryl's grandfather died on the beaches of Normandy, it may be that we are currently entering into a "proxy" situation, in which Daryl fights alongside his allies in France to defeat an existential threat. Only this time, unlike his grandfather, he will survive, and he will live to see his home and his loved ones again, and soon, the "cure" or science which could mitigate the Wildfire virus, could return to France.

The "elixir of long life," aka Chartreuse, could be a compelling historic and symbolic proxy for the Wildfire virus, which I have speculated, based on its regenerative effects in walkers (ie: slowing down their rate of decay, a scientific process that is discussed in World Beyond, but which is not well understood) could have started as a cure for death or the aging process, or a way to heal and regenerate mortal wounds. A literal fountain of youth. The holy grail. A true "elixir of long life." Unfortunately, it was leaked and allowed to infect humans en masse before it was adjusted beyond its most destructive phases. This is just a theory, mind you. It's just based on a hunch.

Either way, remember that the holy grail, which is determined to be "holy blood," is the object of an intense search in the book and film The DaVinci Code, which has been cited multiple times in relation to the lore of TWD, particular TD theories, and which was the inspiration for the TV show DaVinci's Demons, which Scott Gimple wrote for prior to his work with TWD.

Like the Carthusian monks, the scientific teams in France were hunted, jailed, and exiled by a revolutionary cause and took their science with them. If this comparison is intentional or holds any water, it creates a very likely scenario for why season 3 will take place in Spain. If Genet is behind the exile, then this would also explain why Genet is so intent on attacking the Nest and neutralizing Losang and his forces. She wants the scientists dead and out of France.

What are Losang's Motivations?

Returning to Losang, my fellow theorists and several other TDers are suspicious of Losang after his motivations come into question in the ten minute preview currently available on AMC+. Losang is hesitant to attack Genet even though she has taken several of his people as prisoners. He is also critical of Daryl's attempts to teach Laurent self-defense. Why would that be? He says that it is unhealthy to expose Laurent to so much violence, but he says this knowing that Laurent traveled all the way to the Nest with Daryl and Isabelle, and was almost killed multiple times, that he already had to kill a walker to save Isabelle's life, and that said walker was his own biological father. In what way will teaching him to protect himself in a dangerous world keep him from experiencing the same trauma that he's already experienced?

One reason could be to keep Laurent as helpless as possible, ignorant, focused only on the intellectual and the spiritual, not the physical. It could, of course, be innocent but we believe Losang may have ulterior motives or plans for Laurent, who was born to a walker. The speculation that Laurent may have inherited some sort of immunity to the Wildfire virus has been rampant in the fandom, prompting many to make comparisons to Ellie in The Last of Us. Within TWDU, Laurent having any sort of immunity would make him very valuable to cure research and very interesting in terms of deepening the Wildfire origins lore.

If Losang, as an American, was in Paris to "study" at the time of the fall, it is likely he was at one of two major research universities in the region: the Sorbonne or the Pasteur Institute, the latter being at the forefront of vaccine technology in the modern world. While, of course, we don't know for sure, and we could always be wrong, the notion that he could be a scientist or medical/research doctor is not unfounded. Eastman, a good character proxy for Losang, and who counsels Morgan in the season 6 episode "Here's Not Here," found a similar spiritual awakening in the Eastern philosophy of Aikido after the fall. Eastman was a psychiatrist in his previous life.

I also believe that, logically, it is time for Daryl Dixon to follow through on the connection to the World Beyond coda, considering the fact that Scott Gimple verified a connection between the two some time ago. The set-up with Losang, a highly intelligent leader and "pilgrim," reformed monk who has just come from Spain despite being an American with an academic past, would be the perfect opportunity for the writers to draw a strong connection between two major themes in TWDU, which have been percolating for a while: science and faith.

Child Abduction, the Nest, and P.A.D.R.E. (***Major Spoilers Ahead***)

This is where you should stop reading if you don't want spoilers!

Something my fellow theorists and I have started kicking around, in the wake of a recent script leak, which is apparently the final moments of the final episode of season 2, is the possibility that Laurent will be abducted, or that he'll be lured away from the Nest by someone he trusts, perhaps Losang.

Note that the leaked script implies that, by the end of season 2, Isabelle has apparently died. Laurent is also not present in the final scene. I do not believe the writers will kill off Laurent, but that instead, they'll use him to broaden the scope of the world (and to soften the hearts of both Daryl AND Carol). I also don't believe that Daryl would leave Laurent behind in France with Isabelle dead, or that Laurent would want to be without Daryl, given all they've been through and their attachment to one another. In the trailer, we hear that Daryl and Isabelle have begun to discuss taking Laurent back to America. After the war in France, if Isabelle is gone, it might be that Laurent will still want to go back with Daryl and Carol. But since we don't see him in the final scene re: the leaked script pages, and we haven't heard anything about him in Spain, could it be that, when Daryl and Carol return to the Nest to retrieve him (in a coda, perhaps) he's just gone?

Let's talk about child abductions and missing children in TWDU. While the notion of child abduction starts with Jocelyn in "Scars," it comes to a head in Fear, seasons 7-8, in which we learn that children are being abducted by mysterious "snatchers" and taken to a highly secretive place called P.A.D.R.E., where they are trained to fight, essentially, a walker war. P.A.D.R.E. began as a US Military operation, designed by politicians, military personal, and other experts to maintain sustainability after the fall of civilization due to the Wildfire virus; however, for reasons I don't have time to get into, it turns into something else completely. The children at P.A.D.R.E. are all given BIRD NAMES, ie: Finch, Dove, Wren, etc. Madison Clark, who turns up alive in season 7, is nicknamed Lark, and she starts her journey toward redemption as one of the "snatchers" who steals "eggs" or babies and children from "unfit" parents and returns them to the safety of P.A.D.R.E..

This is very interesting. Let's consider the terminology, which greatly revolves around BIRDS. Children who are good prospects for "snatching" are called "eggs," and where might eggs be stolen from?

A NEST.

The children are then nicknamed after birds and taken to P.A.D.R.E.. "Padre" is a SPANISH word. It means priest or father.

So we have bird eggs being snatched from their nest, taken to a place with a Spanish name related to themes and inventory of Catholicism. Is it possible that P.A.D.R.E. was foreshadowing for the events of Daryl Dixon? Is this why the writers chose bird names for P.A.D.R.E.'s wards?

This is also where we might consider Beth coming in, because Beth's main job when she was with Team Family was taking care of Judith and the children. When they escape the prison, she survives because she leaves the bus to go searching for the children. In "Inmates," she leads Daryl on a search for missing children, which ends badly.

Beth also has a bird cage in her cell in "30 Days Without an Accident."

Is Beth in Spain? Will Laurent be taken there? Is this where the French scientists are hiding out, continuing to develop their "elixir of long life" in secret? Some sort of "Spanish Slabtown?" Are they conducting research on children who are "special," people who have "immunity?" Was Beth part of something bigger than we realize? Bigger, even, than the CRM? Something that spanned international borders? Something related to the origins of and cure for Wildfire?

For a very long time, the season 5 templates have lead us to believe that Daryl and Carol will leave together to search for Beth, but what if they're searching for Laurent, and they find Beth by mistake? OR, what if, while they're searching for Laurent, Beth finds THEM? In any case, it's very important that Carol be there for it, as she is the only other living person who we know of that has been inside of Grady and might have memory of what went on there.

Only time will tell. For now, it's fun to speculate...

💫

#the walking dead #team delusional #bethyl #I feel it!!

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