#Like why did she wait until she literally heard someone breathing on the other side to go tell him 😭

[iliveinyourceiling65]

Bro, HOW did Avery not freak out more about the secret passages in the Hawthorne House 😭. Like I would be scared asf if I knew there were secret tunnels leading all around my house, INCLUDING MY BEDROOM???

[alrightieaphroditie]

deeper | j.m  series masterlist! | next chapter!

pairing *:·ﾟjoel miller x female!reader wc *:·ﾟ4.1k an *:·ﾟthis is quite literally two times as long as the first part... oops? lmao i really enjoyed writing this so i hope that everyone enjoys reading it! i have two more parts planned after this, maybe some little drabbles in between or something too? but the series WILL get smuttier as it progresses so i promise you that :) this isn't edited much so if you catch something i didn't... please help ya girl out. hope you enjoy! comments and reblogs are hella welcome

synopsis *:·ﾟthe night has finally arrived: joel and ellie are visiting for dinner. afterwards, you learn more about just who joel miller really is. 

to say you were nervous about having joel and ellie over was a complete and total understatement. 

sure, you've had ellie over at your house before. she practically visits almost every day, sometimes staying for ten minutes, sometimes a few hours. it wasn't really her you were worried about, though, if you were being truthful. it was joel coming over that made you anxious. your fears were confirmed when you talked to him last night: you had a small, itsy-bitsy crush on the older man. 

it's not that there was anything wrong with that, either. but you were a child when the outbreak happened, and then you lived most of your life secluded from others. you simply haven't ever had the chance to crush on someone. not that there was ever really anyone worthy of crushing on until now, but that's beside the point. maybe this wasn't even a crush. maybe you just...liked joel? like as a friend?

no. it was a positively, absolutely a crush. 

it was this revelation that had you cleaning your house for most of the day. it wasn't even dirty to begin with. you simply just couldn't sit around, waiting for the moment that ellie and joel appeared on your doorstep. so, you dusted as much as you could, swept up the main areas of your house, and straightened up the small collection of clutter that you had accumulated within the months of being there. 

as the afternoon started to dip into the early evening, you began to prepare the food. you weren't the best cook, truthfully, so you decided to stick with what you did know. which is why you were going to be serving breakfast for dinner. you felt a little silly, but you figured this was better than serving burnt meat or something. besides, ellie had mentioned to you the other day that she had never tried pancakes before, and you had just so happened to trade a few of your blankets for a batch of mix that one of your neighbors had made.

you had just finished plating the last of the bacon you had cooked when you heard heavy footsteps on your porch, accompanied by a sharp, quick knock on the door. wiping your hands on your dishrag, you took a deep breath before making your way to the front entry way. despite your nerves, the smile on your face was genuine, as was the cheer in your voice as you greeted your two guests with a "hi!" 

ellie grinned up at you, her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail and wearing an oversized flannel that you wondered if it belonged to joel. she gave you a small hug before tilting her head back, sniffing the air. "oh man, it smells amazing in here. what is that?" she asked, leaving the entry way, and rushing into the kitchen without a response. you laughed after her before turning to face joel. 

he stood right in front of you, almost awkwardly. he was holding a giant sack in one hand, and your head tilted in question. "oh, uh," he cleared his throat, motioning to the sack. "ellie mentioned you had a fireplace but hated gathering the wood, so i uh, i brought you some. as a thank you." 

"that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, joel. thank you!" did his cheeks flush? certainly not. right? "you can leave it on the porch if you want. i can carry it in later." he nodded in agreement, setting the bag on the ground as you stepped to the side to let him in. 

“i hope you’re alright with breakfast for dinner,” you started, shutting the door behind joel, and leading him to your kitchen. “i found some pancake mix and wanted to surprise ellie.” your back was to him, but you could hear the stutter in his footsteps. turning back around, you saw him standing still, his eyes cinched at the corners. “is that okay, joel?” 

hearing his name must have snapped him out of his trance, as his dark eyes blinked, and his head shook slightly. “yeah, ‘s fine.” his voice was rough, like he forced the words out of his throat. his hand clenched into a fist, the broken face of his watch catching a ray of light. then his hand relaxed, and he started to close the gap between the two of you. 

“are you sure? because i can try to whip something else up if you- “ 

“said it was fine, hon. i mean it.” his hand brushed against yours briefly as he passed, making his way into the kitchen with ellie. one step forward, two steps back, you thought sadly as you took a breath before walking into the kitchen. 

"are these what i think they are?" the excitement in ellie's voice was notable, which put a smile on your face. ellie was curiously lifting the edge of one pancake on the platter until joel walked to her side, smacking her hand softly to make her let go, murmuring something about having manners that you could just barely hear. 

you handed ellie the platter and then turned her around, guiding her to your small dining table by her shoulders. "they are indeed, ellie bellie. i don't have any syrup, though, which is technically what you're supposed to put on top of them. i do have a few different types of jelly we could use, which is still just as good." 

ellie set the platter of food on the table, and the two of you went back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room, carrying plates of scrambled eggs, sausage patties and bacon, some toast, and a small collection of fruit that had started to grow again with the changing season. 

joel watched the two of you as he leaned against the counter, seemingly taking in the domesticity of it all. you bumped your hip against his on your way back in, motioning for him to follow you to the fridge. "here, old man. think you can carry these jars to the table, or do you need some help?" you teased, handing him a few different jars of jelly. 

he shook his head at you. "i see the kid's shitty sense of humor is rubbin' off on ya," he said, but he let you fill his hands with the goods. 

"hey! i heard that, jerk." ellie shouted from the dining room, causing the two of you to chuckle. you grabbed the pitcher of orange juice you had made earlier, as well as one full of water, and carried those to the table behind joel.

you both organized your goods on the table before taking a seat at the table. you and joel were facing each other, and ellie was off to the side. she was already holding her utensils in both hands, bouncing them off the table as she eagerly took in the spread of food. "can we?" she asked, not even taking her eyes off the pancake stack. 

"go for it, kid," you laughed, pouring out the drinks for everyone. joel watched ellie load her plate with a little of everything, and then he waited for you to do the same before he took his turn. you noticed he steered clear from the pancakes, which upset you, but you tried not to let it show. honestly you were just thankful that they had come over. small victories, you guess. 

ellie slathered up her pancakes with a little of each of the jelly spreads you had, and then practically shoved a whole pancake in her mouth. "oh my god," the words were muffled by the food. joel chewed on a piece of bacon, his eyes narrowing at the girl as she continued to boast about how good the food was, with her mouth full. 

"jesus, ellie. what have we talked about? have some manners, please." he asked, his voice a little stern as he handed ellie part of his napkin. you watched the interaction with a small grin on your face. they may not have been biologically related, but joel was every bit a father towards the girl and seeing his care for her in person made your stomach flutter. 

"sorry 'bout that," joel muttered your way, motioning to ellie with his fork. "we're workin' on it." ellie gave you a sheepish look before continuing to eat like she hadn't in days. which you knew was far from the truth, considering you had had her over for lunch just the other day. 

"it's okay. i remember how i was when i first came into the community, too. i'm glad she's enjoying it." you caught the questioning look in joel's eyes, as if he was curious to hear more. it definitely wasn't something you wanted to discuss in front of ellie, though. you knew she had been through a lot, probably more than you had if you were being honest, but you imagined that she was tired of hearing about all the bad in the world. you wanted to help show her, and joel, the good. because lord, did they look like they needed it. 

the conversation flowed easily after that. joel and ellie told you all about life in a qz, which was something you had managed to escape, as you and your family hid away in a secret bunker for the beginning of the outbreak. ellie told you about the school there and how much she hated it, how she would sneak out with a friend of hers sometimes and explore. this seemed to be news to joel, as he stared at her intently while she confessed these secrets. 

you learned how ellie loved to draw, and when you asked her if she would draw some art for your living room she practically shot out of her seat in excitement. you learned how joel used to play the guitar and how he wanted to be a singer before the outbreak, something ellie lovingly poked fun at. you could see it, though. he definitely had the voice for singing, a rich, thick, deep sound that you imagine could've sold millions. 

you practically begged him to teach you how to play the guitar, but he made no promises. ellie let it slip about the time that she found your hidden romance novels in a box in a closet, which had caused you to choke on your orange juice. she quickly steered the conversation to her comic books, though, and you blessed the kid’s short attention span. 

when the food had been demolished (mostly by ellie) you all gathered up the dirty dishes and lugged them back into the kitchen. as you gathered the cups from the table and walked into the kitchen, you saw joel standing at your sink, already washing off the plates. "oh, joel, you don't have to do that. i can do them later," you offered, balancing your cups on the counter near the sink. 

"'s not a problem, really. you cooked, i can clean." his voice was final, as was the firm glance he gave your way as you tried to sneak the sponge away from him. you held your hands up in surrender, laughing quietly as you made your way to the living room where ellie was. she was spread out across the couch, hands rested on her stomach with her eyes closed. 

her chest was rising and falling steadily, and so you poked her foot slightly, waiting a couple moments before doing it again. she didn't even flinch, so you quietly walked back into your kitchen, where joel was drying his hands off with a rag. "well, i'm like seventy percent sure the kid is asleep." 

"only seventy?" he asked, giving you a quirked eyebrow. you watched him fold up your dishrag and put it on the counter, and for some reason you were so enthralled with the gentleness of how he did it. how could anyone in this town be afraid of this man, how could they cross the street to the other sidewalk when he was passing by, when he was in your kitchen, washing your dishes and folding your rags? 

you cleared your throat. "yeah, only seventy. there's a slight chance she's faking it and trying to scare me, but the joke's on her. i'm not going to check on her again." you held your head up high, proud that you could have potentially caught on to one of ellie's pranks (though you would later realize she was, indeed, asleep, and in some turnabout way ellie still won because now she had you paranoid.) 

joel's lips curved, and you heard him mumble "oh, ellie," quite fondly. you both leaned back against your respective counters, and you were scrambling for something to say when joel beat you to it. "do you uh..." he coughed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "would you wanna go sit on the porch, maybe? give the kid some space?" 

you had to stop yourself from squealing. here you were trying to think of ways to get joel to stay and he volunteered the perfect option himself. you found yourself shaking your head enthusiastically. "yeah! i can make us some drinks if you want?" he nodded in agreement, thanking you quietly before sneaking out to the porch. 

you gave yourself a moment to freak out before getting joel a glass of whiskey and yourself a glass of water. you snagged a blanket off of a chair and quietly shut the door behind you. joel was getting comfortable on the loveseat bench you had near the door, and you handed off his glass before settling down yourself, pulling the blanket around your legs. 

it was that time of year in wyoming where the mornings and evenings were still chilly from winter and more than not, you'd still need to bundle up, but the sun was blazing for the majority of the day. outside the sun was beginning to set, the sky a kaleidoscope of pink and orange and blue hues. the crickets were chirping again, and in the distance you could hear the soft tunes of music coming from the tipsy bison. 

joel turned towards you, motioning his glass of whiskey to you, offering you the first sip. you were never one to drink - you never got accustomed to the strong taste - but you didn’t want to turn joel down, so you accepted it with a grin, your fingers brushing against his softly. your face was already warm when you brought the cup to your mouth, taking a small sip that resulted in you coughing. 

“not a fan?” joel asked, a small smile on his face as he took the glass back from you. amusement sparkled in his brown eyes, and even if it was from your hiccup, you were happy that he was finally warming up to you. 

“not at all. my parents were big drinkers growin’ up so i kinda tried to avoid all of it. it’s not a very welcoming taste,” you laughed at yourself, wiping the edge of your mouth with the blanket. joel was still grinning at you, and he motioned the glass towards you again. 

“tastes better the second time,” he said casually, that sparkle still in his eyes. you narrowed your own eyes at him, a hint of a smile on your lips. “are you lying to me, joel miller?” 

“maybe, maybe not. one way to find out.” he shrugged his shoulders, angling the glass towards you even more. 

and you knew he was lying. you knew it and he knew it, but you wanted to see if it would make him smile again, maybe even laugh. so, you grabbed the cup, took in a deep breath, and took another sip. you wish you could say that you drank it with dignity, maybe just a small cough, but unfortunately that was not the case. the taste was so repulsive in your throat that it made you gag slightly, tears forming in the corners of your eyes, and god you were so embarrassed but - 

a deep chuckle sounded from the man next to you, the corners of his eyes creasing as his mouth spread into a grin. he placed his hand against his chest as he laughed, probably thinking you were a bit too much of an idiot to fall for his teasing. but to you? it was worth it. you wanted to be the cause of that sound forever. 

“that was mean, miller.” you laughed, taking a sip of the water that you had brought out with you. 

“i know, i’m sorry hun. couldn’t help myself,” his voice was teasing, his eyes shining in the pink and orange glow slowly fading from the skyline. you pulled your blanket around you tighter, trying to fight back the blush that always seemed to encompass your cheeks when you were around joel. “so… romance books, huh?” 

“oh, shush. they’re a guilty pleasure of mine, okay?” you confessed, your eyes rolling as you laughed. you had thought he might have missed ellie's comment about them earlier, but apparently not.  maybe it was the whiskey you sipped earlier, or maybe it was simply joel’s comforting presence, but you continued. “it’s kind of silly, but i’ve never been in love before. and i’ve always wondered what it would be like. to just… have someone by your side, fighting for you. those books are as close as i can get.” 

you watched his grin fade slowly and a distant look passed through his dark eyes. “‘m sure the books exaggerate the feeling quite a bit, though.” his voice was rough, and he rubbed his hand across his jaw almost absentmindedly. his gaze was on the bench of the seat between the two of you, where your toes were peeking out from underneath the blanket. 

“well, duh. they are fictional, joel.” you poked his arm that had moved to rest on the back of the bench, subsequently resting behind your shoulders. “but i think the authors had to pull from some real-life emotions, though, right?” 

“touché,” his shoulder shrugged as he responded, his mouth tilting up at the side. he let his hand fall from his jaw, his arm spreading across his legs as his hand reached to play with the tassels on the edge of your blanket. your heart raced.

“have you ever been in love?” your voice was quiet, curious. your fingers traced the edge of your cup, and joel's eyes zeroed in on the movement. you had learned an awful lot about ellie tonight, as you had been for the last few weeks that you've known her. but you were wanting to learn more about the man sitting next to you.

he was quiet, contemplative, even. for a second you worried you pressed too far, that he wasn't even going to respond to you. you were trying to figure out a way to backpedal when he cleared his throat. “thought i was, a long time ago. it wasn’t that kind of frilly romance stuff you read about, though. it was... real. and it didn't last.” you nodded your head, taking in his information silently.

god, did you want to press on more. this man was like a vault, only offering you pieces of himself when he felt it necessary. you wanted to hoard those pieces away for yourself until you collected enough to fully know who joel miller was. you felt like this may have been a topic he wasn't fully ready to dive into yet, so you turned it back to yourself. “sometimes i worry i’ll never be able to experience it. especially with the way the world is right now.”

he took a healthy sip from his glass, and you noticed he had placed his lips where yours had been. that made you shiver, and you tucked yourself tighter with the blanket. “well, i feel like if anyone deserves to, it should be you.” he avoided your gaze with his confession, focusing on the retreating sun and the sky as it grew into a darker hue. 

you were quiet for a second, your eyes squinting slightly as you inspected joel. his dark hair was tousled perfectly, and you could see hints of grey streaking through the strands. the same went for his beard, which he had kept close to his skin. his tan skin complemented the olive-green jacket he had put on, though you knew he wore it for the function rather than the aesthetic. he had freckles on the base of his hairline, near his ear. you wonder if he knew that.

“do you think you deserve a second chance to?” your words cut through the silence, causing joel to put that dark gaze on you rather than the sky. 

“don’t know what i think i deserve. i’m not the knight in shinin' armor hero that you read about, that’s for sure.” his voice was harsh, and he shook his head slightly before downing the rest of his drink, turning his eyes back to the sunset. you felt your heart break at his words.

“joel," you started softly, placing your hand on top of his arm that was resting behind you. you tilted your head to the side slightly to catch his eye. "i don’t know what you’ve experienced or what you’ve done, but the right person wouldn’t let that come between you. you did what you thought was necessary to survive, and honestly? i can’t blame you. you still deserve good things.”

you saw his grip tighten around his empty glass, but his gaze stayed focused on yours. god, did you hope that he understood what you were saying. that it somehow broke through the walls he surely had built around his heart. you could see his head nodding minutely, like his body was able to accept your words even if his head didn't.

the screen door opened just then, tearing the attention away to ellie as she slowly tripped her way onto the porch. she was rubbing her eyes with one of her hands, and while still yawning, she asked, "can we go home, joel?" 

joel shot you an amused look, and you stifled a laugh as he stood up, rubbing his hands together slightly as the air took a sharp chill. "sure thing, kiddo." you stood up too, walking over to ellie and giving her a quick hug. she thanked you for the dinner and lazily made her way down the porch steps, still rubbing her eyes. 

you turned to joel, who was watching his girl on the sidewalk. "thank you for coming over." you nudged a rock on the porch with your foot, wrapping your arms around your middle as you looked up to him. 

"thank you for invitin' us over. we really appreciate it." 

"of course. we could make this a weekly thing, ya know. if you wanted to, that is." you were dangerously close to rambling status, wanting to give joel reasons why he should say yes, so you shut your mouth, leaving it open to him. he glanced down at you, the height difference between the two of you leaving you just at his shoulders. you liked that, for some reason. 

he waited a moment before responding. "i think we could make it work, yeah." you could see the hint of a smile crossing his lips, and you couldn't help but smile back at him, taking a step closer to wrap your arms around his side. 

he froze, and you almost pulled away with an apology on your lips before you felt him shift, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. and then, you froze under him as you felt his lips brush against your forehead. the movement was so faint you thought you imagined it, but when he whispered, "good night, hon," you could feel his breath against your skin.

and so, you whispered back, "good night, joel," and pulled away, waving your fingers slightly as he went down the steps. he caught up to ellie in no time, and you grinned as you watched him put his arm around ellie's shoulders, steering her in the right direction. 

later you would replay the nights events in your mind on a loop. you'd come up with different things you should have done or should have said. you'd wonder about joel's response to the pancakes, and whether he would ever tell you the truth behind his flinch. you hoped he would believe that he did deserve that second chance, and you prayed that he would take it with you. 

but for right now, as the crickets chirped louder than before, as the streetlights started to flicker on one by one, and as the stars began littering the sky with their glow, you were happily content with the way things went tonight. and you knew, for certain, that you were in deep with joel miller. 

tag list *:·ﾟ@yyiikes  @farintonorth @scarletsloveletter

[kissorkill16]

They Don't Deserve It: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: Never save someone who doesn't deserve it.

"Put me down!", Trinity yelled, her voice muffled through the bag over her head. "Let me go!"

But the cultists dragging her into the Fear Room didn't let her go, not until they tied up her wrists and ankles and threw her on the floor, then they left the building.

"Help!", she yelled, "Anybody!"

When she heard footsteps, she stiffened, but then she heard that voice.

The nice, soft voice that she heard when she saw Maritza giving the book to Dove.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you.", he reassured. He began trying to undo the ropes on her wrists and ankles, "I'm here to get you out of here, just stay still."

Trinity held still for a moment as she waited for Dove to finish untying her, and she pulled the bag off her head, and backed up against the wall at the sight of torn up taxidermy animals.

Dove stood up and helped Trinity stand up, "Come on. Let's get out of here before they come back.", he said.

Trinity took Dove's gloved hand and let him lead her down the darkened hall of the Fear Room, and she stood close to him until they were completely out of the building.

She followed Dove wherever he went, and Dove hid behind different concession stands, holding Trinity's hand the entire time.

Dove slowly stood up and saw that there were cultists on many different rides, tools in their hands, and they seemed to be...unscrewing the rides.

Unscrewing, cutting wires, messing with the machinery, they were really messing everything up.

And Dove could barely take their eyes off them, and he couldn't help but wonder...

Did they do the same thing back when Lucy was still alive?

As two of the cultists began to talk, Dove slowly crouched back down, but kept peeking at them.

"Well, principal. That black book's mumbo jumbo worked. The well is gurgling, almost ready for you know what.", said Mayor Tavish.

"Then there's no more need for Peterson. Have him eliminated.", said Principal Abanate.

Dove's eyes widened underneath his beak when he heard that. They were planning on killing Mr. Peterson?!

Sure, he knew he shouldn't care about him, especially after all he did to him, but he didn't want Mr. Peterson dead. He didn't want anyone dead, even if they were an asshole. So he made a mental note to warn Mr. Peterson later, after he saved Trinity.

Just then, Otto came running to the cultists, he dropped down to his knees, completely out of breath. "The girl. She's gone!", he said. "And so is Dove."

Principal Abanate came close to Otto, and though he couldn't see it, Otto could tell that she was scowling.

"Can we trust you with anything, Otto?", she asked, sarcastically. Then she turned to Mayor Tavish, "Spread out."

Dove hid back behind the concession stand, and Trinity bit her nails.

"What're we gonna do?", she asked Dove.

Dove looked around for a moment, trying to think of a plan, and then he saw a toy gun. He grabbed it, plugged in the cork, and turned to the side to see a bell. He aimed the gun at the bell, and shot.

The cork hit the bell, and the bell rang.

Mayor Tavish turned around to look at the bell, and he ran in the direction of the ringing sound. Seeing it as the perfect opportunity to escape, Dove took Trinity by the hand and led her away from the cultists, and out of the park.

Once they were out of the park, Dove grabbed Trinity's shoulders and made her look at him.

"I'm going to tell you what I told your friend.", he said, "Please stay away from the cult, stay away from the woods, the tunnels, Mr. Peterson's house, stay away from all of it. Please."

Trinity pushed him away, "Why should I listen to you? You're literally working with the cult."

"But I'm not like other cult members, I don't want you or your friends to die. Don't you people see? I'm trying to keep you alive."

Before he could say more, Trinity gasped and ran away from Dove. Dove was about to run after her, but he felt a harsh tug on the back of his cloak, pulling him back and making him look into Otto's angry eyes.

"You let her go?!", he asked, "Do you realize the trouble you put me in? Crowface will have my head because of you!"

Dove kicked Otto in the shin, making him drop him to the ground. He stood up and dusted himself off, and he leaned in close, making sure Otto could hear him.

"I won't let you or anyone else hurt her.", he said, his voice firm and angry. "I don't care what any of you think, I don't care what any of you do, I won't let you hurt any of them."

Then he ran away from the park.

Meanwhile, Otto was left standing there, a wicked smile growing on his face.

Later that night, Nicky packed a couple of tools and his lockpick set and snuck out of his bedroom window, practically running back to the Golden Apple Amusement Park.

He climbed up the fence, throwing his backpack down on the ground and went to the carousel first.

He got to work on taping together the snipped wires, being extra careful so they wouldn't accidentally shock him.

When he was done with the carousel, he went to the Ferris wheel, and he carefully climbed up the wheel with a wrench and a couple of screws in his hand and got to work tightly and firmly screwing it back.

As he was climbing down the wheel, he was putting away the wrench and was about to take out another tool, but then he stilled when he felt an eerie presence behind him.

He slowly turned around to see Crowface, and even though he wore a mask, Nicky could tell he wasn't happy.

Crowface sighed, "I can't believe I'm about to have this talk with you again, Nicholas.", he said, stepping closer to him. He snatched Nicky's backpack away from him.

"I welcome you into my cult, and all you keep doing is interfering with my plans. You offered that girl instead of threatening her, you risked your arm instead of letting that science teacher die, and now you let the girl go.", he said, his voice growing deeper and deeper.

Nicky looked down at his shoes in shame, "Otto told you about that?"

"Yes, as I was punishing him for leaving you two alone. I had to muffle his screams with his own stuffing."

Nicky quickly shook his head, not wanting to hear more. Without thinking, he snatched back his backpack.

"I'm only interfering with your plans, because all of your plans involve my friends getting killed or hurt.", he snapped at him. "I never said I wanted anyone to die when I agreed to join your cult, I only wanted my friends to suffer for how they treated me. None of that meant I wanted them to die. And now you guys are planning on killing Mr. Peterson too?! I know what he's done, but he doesn't deserve to die, Franklin!"

Nicky's eyes widened and he backed up against the ride as Crowface stepped closer and closer to him, then he slowly took off his mask, revealing a pale, burned, and rotting corpse face.

"If anyone else called me that, I wouldn't have been so kind, Nicholas. But since you called me that..."

Nicky closed his eyes and hugged himself, waiting for what Franklin would do to him next. Franklin just grabbed Nicky's cheeks and turned his face to look at him.

"It's because of this wretched town, I've become this disgusting beast. Rotting, pale, destroyed, half dead, and half blind.", he said. "If I get my revenge, then everyone in this town will know how I felt when I was hit by that light."

He took his hand and squeezed it.

"You keep saving the people who have done nothing but make your life hell, and you join this cult, who is dead set on making their lives magnificent and others worse, and you do exactly the same."

Nicky winced when he felt Franklin squeeze his hand harder, and he tried to pull it away.

"And you were planning to save Peterson? Of all people? Especially after what he did to you?"

Nicky finally got his hand free and he gently rubbed it.

"Before I joined this cult, I wanted you to kill me -"

"And I decided that I have a much better use for you, dear.", said Franklin. "I didn't think you'd be a complete pacifist with this damn town."

Franklin sighed, "But what can I expect from a child?", he said.

Nicky looked at his shoes again, then he felt Franklin pull him close into his black cloak.

"I want you to stop thinking about those people, think about all of the times they've hurt you instead. All of the bullying, the mean nicknames, the abuse, the pain, the guilt trips, everything, dear.", he said, rubbing Nicky's bandaged arm from the other night where Nicky had saved Mr. Murtaugh from being killed. "If you keep thinking about that, then you wouldn't be trying to save them so much."

As he rested his head against Franklin's chest, he thought about all of the bad times he's had with his previous life. His parents neglecting him, his friends being total assholes, kids at school bullying him...

Trinity dismissing his "not okay" behavior.

Just those thoughts made him start to cry.

Franklin gently rubbed Nicky's hair in soothing circles, "Shhhh...., it's alright, my darling dove.", he said.

"You shall rest here tonight, Dove, where you're safe and sound, away from danger. I will protect you all through the night, and you will know only comfort in my arms."

[ashipiko]

“Seems like a pretty packed place again. As to be expected of someone as cheery as Ashi.”

Taruchi smiled as she looked around the dorm decorated in shades of pink and splashes of a light green. Very Ashi vibes, she thought. Mission accomplished. It had taken a while to figure out where to get decorations until Riddle had seen the first years brainstorming and told them to just use magic.

They were first years, okay? They're a lot newer to magic. It makes sense that this didn't immediately click.

Taruchi continued to navigate through the crowd of people talking over the music, yet somehow she still couldn't spot the birthday girl. Weird. She would've thought she'd be able to see her laughing with Ace by now. Then again, maybe it was her height making her unable to see through the crowd of much taller students.

That was when an arm suddenly shot out of nowhere, hitting her stomach.

“Ow! What the hell…” she murmured under her breath. She turned to see beside her none other than the loudest student in Night Raven College.

“HALT, HUMAN! ONLY THOSE EXPLICITLY PERMITTED BY ASHI MAY SEE HER!” Sebek yelled, making Taruchi grimace from the assault on her ears.

Who the @%#& gave this @*&£# permission to be so #@%£*&% annoying? she said in her head as her eyes narrowed.

Then she heard, “What do you think you're doing?! I'M Ashi's one and only bodyguard! Go back to your precious ‘waka-sama’!” from her other side.

Of course, when she looked, it was Ashi's ginger-haired boyfriend looking ready to pounce at Sebek. Now they were both blocking her way.

Seriously, she's been trying to do was to give Ashi her gift. Why did someone have to stop her every time? Is this some new tradition?

She had decided to just stand there while they bickered, waiting until they somehow forgot about her standing there, before she heard someone call her name.

“Taruru? Is that you?”

Across the two boys blocking her, Taruchi's eyes met with Ashi's and she grinned. “Ashi! Please help me,” she begged.

“Jeez, those two just won't stop arguing, huh? Acey, you're ruining my birthday!” Ashi complained as she approached the three, a pout on her face.

“It's not my fault this guy is the most annoying guy in the entire world!” Ace retorted, looking frantic as he gestured at Sebek. He turned to him, “Why are you here, anyway?!”

“To protect Ashi from the likes of you! What else?!” Sebek shot back. It seemed like he could squash Ace from how he towered over him, but Ace wouldn't back down.

Again, they continued to shoot insults back and forth between each other. Ashi forced a smile and dragged Taruchi away by her arm.

“So anyways, so glad you could make it, Taruru! Ya got somethin’ for little old Ashi?” she said in her playful voice, with her signature beam and wink.

“Of course.” Taruchi smiled back. “I wouldn't want to show up empty-handed. Well, it's not much of your usual gift since it's not like, something really physical, but I thought you might like it anyway.”

She opened her phone and in a few seconds showed it for Ashi to see.

“It's a playlist I made for you, composed of songs I think give off your energy or remind me of you.” Taruchi's smile brightened as she waited for her friend's response. “So… what do you think?”

——————————

HEY HEY HEY ASHI!!! I hope I'm not too late to send this, I know it's literally June 4 😭😭 STILL WANTED TO SEND A LITTLE SOMETHING!!

You're a super fun moot and tbh sometimes I'm still surprised we're mutuals! I remember the day you followed me I wiped my eyes like in a cartoon and did a double take like "wait is this fr???? NO WAYYYY" AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT WAS A PERIOD WHEN I WASN'T REALLY DOING ANYTHING W MY OCS AND STUFF. SO EVEN MORE OF A SHOCK SJDKGDSL I initially followed you for your a3 art bc it was SOOOO scrumptious (and still is obv) and I'm very happy to see ashace too plus stuff from other fandoms :DD AND IT'S WILD SEEING HOW MUCH YOU IMPROVE, IT'S AMAZING!!! keep having fun and creating what you want, i'll always cheer ya on <33

OH I JUST REMEMBERED i also have this extra lil drawing too! it's not ashace, i'm sorry (it was 2 am and i didn't want to go through figuring out his hair again) but i hope you like it nonetheless!

ANYWAYS HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY nd remember ace loves you tons, trust me i've seen his diary

(p.s. i hope the link for the playlist works 😭 just tell me if it doesn't then i can send it maybe on discord??)

ASHI’S BIRTHDAY CAMPAIGN! 🌺

“I’m sure they’ll figure somethin’ out eventually… Otherwise, they’ll both miss the cake. Jokes on them!” Ashi laughs, gleefully giving Taruchi a small hug.

“But anyway! We should totally focus on the main thing?! Like how stinkin’ cute this gift is! Waaaaugh, I’m so honored…! You’ll fosho catch me listening to this when I’m doodling at Ramshackle.” Taruchi could swear she saw tears start to form, but she wasn’t sure if it’s because the gift TRULY touched Ashi this much or if she was being dramatic. Either way, it was appreciated.

“Y’know what? I’ll listen to it RN! Let’s see what this playlist is made of~”

(ASHI REACTIONS UNDER CUT)

TARURUUUUU WAAUWGSH THE ART IS ALL SO CUTE. YOU DRAW ASHI SO GOOD AND TARURU’S NEW LOOK IS SO SLAY!!!! THE FLUFFY GANG RISE UP 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 totally not too late btw dw. got a whole line of people behind you 😭😭

EHHWHAAW YOURE SO SWEET LIKE ACTUALLY FR. I GEN DONT RMB WHEN WE OFFICIALLY BECAME MOOTS CUZ LIKS?? YOU WERE FR FROM THE VERY BEGINNING UNTIL NOW. IT WAS STILL THE A3! ERA……. man that was so long ago. WWW I FEEL OLD. but ANYWAY!!! THIS MESSAGE IS SO CUTE. YOURE GEN SO SWEET TARURU IM HUGGING YOU THRU THE SCREEN <33333 THANK YOU SMSMSM!!!!!!! ace does FR love me. there have been too many signs to prove otherwise smh 😔

I GOT THE PLAYLIST TO WORK BTW!!! ITS SUPER CUTE….. FUNNILY ENOUGH I HAVE ALMOST ALL THE SONGS DOWNLOADED ALREADY???? 😭😭 the only new stuff to me (basically) is all the swiftie stuff……. once I find a good time I’ll DEFO listen!!! THANM YKU SO MUCH AGAJN TARU. THIS IS SUCH A FUN GIFT!!!!!

[eggcompany]

Heart to Heart and Back Again Part 1

Count Julian Pankratz, a chronically ill man who has more love than he knows what to do with with his short life. That was until he met his new nursemaid, a mysterious new man in town, Geralt. They grow to love each other, each thriving off each other, each learning to love, to live, to truly feel alive because of each other. Geralt had been around for so long he didn't even know he could love. Julian had been convinced no one would ever love him. Soulmates, they were crafted for each other at their very cores.

But unfortunately destiny had other plans. Julian gets sick, he grows weaker and weaker, and he leaves Geralt. The white haired man doesn't know what to do with his empty heart, empty hands, and wish only to bring his one love back.

There was only one person for him in life. Julian. And he was dead.

Or is he...? One stranger's trek up a mountain a few hundred years later might just change Geralt's mind.

“I can stand, good first impressions.” Julian said as he leaned heavily on his cane. He waited for the door to open for the new nursemaid. He shooed the maid away once she dropped off some food, she laughed at him and made her way through the side doors. He was leaning on his cane trying to get other the pain that was dragging at the base of his back. 

The door did open and he was shaking, straining, heart starting to speed up. 

“Hello, welcome, hurry up and shake my hand before I pass out. Thank you” he said quickly and grabbed the man’s huge hand in his own and then sat back down in his wheelchair. He started getting some big breaths in trying to get his heart to slow back down. 

He then took in the man’s looks. He was large, strong looking, had silver nearly white hair, golden eyes, and his clothes were dirty. He was extremely handsome where his hair hung over his forehead and was held back by a small black tie. 

“It’s an honor to serve you count.” He said and bowed which Julian shushed and waved his hand at. 

“Oh pish posh, now come sit down with me. I had Lizzy bring up some really good stuff. She's a witch in the kitchen, literally but also she cooks so well I’ve cried. I personally have a sweet tooth but also I love eggs scrambled or omelets, those are French. Do you eat eggs?” Julians asked and wheeled himself over to his breakfast table, only one other chair at the table. 

Geralt was confused but followed him awkwardly standing by the table before Julian leaned over and patted the seat and removed the cloches from their plates. There were two plates of scrambled eggs, some pan fried meat, small loaves of bread, and a cup of something melted and spiced looking. 

“Do you not eat eggs? We have a large coop and a lot of livestock on the estate, feel free to explore as you please. I personally would love to get back there to see the sheep, I’ve always loved them.” Julian said as he picked up a fluffy spiced egg and popped it into his mouth smiling at Geralt. He hoped the man would stay, he felt some kind of… change in himself at just the sight of the man. Something ws changing in his heart. 

Geralt, who sat down, remained confused. There’s a plate set in front of him but… why? What? He’d heard of the “Flower” of the rich estate family but… the weak shaky young man wasn’t what he’d imagined. He’d been around for a very long time and he’d yet to meet someone like Julian. 

Julian stared at him waiting but then shook his head and looked down. Soft smile on his lips and kindness running pure in his eyes. 

“Dig in my friend, I’m a lonely man, I treat my servants well. I don’t expect you to stay for the rest of my life, I don’t expect you to feel loyalty to me. I only request you be kind. So in return for your kindness, you have free rein of the estate. Choose a room for yourself, no matter where, make food to your taste, slaughter what you please, grow what you please, just include me please.” Julian said in a sad voice that hurt Geralt's heart. He was just a boy, a kid wanting someone to play with him. 

He’d never met a count as… souled as Julian. He thought he’d be a chamber maid to some priss, to clean and be quiet. He’d never met someone so… honest and full of humanity's best quality, compassion and companionship, friendship and love. 

Geralt should have known Julian would be good. The other servants seemed happy, like a community. All chatting as they worked, some laughing and others humming tunes as they did their business leisurely. 

He was confused, though. Why? 

“Count-” He started just for Julian to groan and shake his head. 

“Julian, please.” The boy said and took another bite of food. He hated being called ‘ count’ ; it made him feel old. 

“Julian, why? Why share your wealth?” Geralt asked and watched the boy drink from a cup it looked like... milk? What wealthy person didn't drink wine with their meals?

"My father brought home a sickness, when I was younger. He gave it to my entire family, my mother, my sisters, me. They all slowly died around me. And I survived. Why? My father was one of the wealthiest counts in this entire land. My sisters were more beautiful than precious gems, my mother had acres and acres of land. I was the youngest, and most uninterested in growing our wealth and taking on more land. Why did I survive if not to share? One day I will die, I can't produce an heir, who will take care of me? Who will make sure I am happy in my final days? Who will take over this home? I'm a creature of society, Geralt, dear, I surround myself with good company. I surround myself with friends . I think you're supposed to be nice and share with your friends." Julian said and leaned forward against the table, smiling, and Geralt was shaking his head. Astonished. He was just a kid, poetic words made from a luxury life. 

"Are you quick to befriend someone like me? You have no idea where I've been, where I'm from, what I've done. Why do you welcome me like a long lost friend?" Geralt asked and Julian was huffed and laughed as his eyes glittered. He looked right at Geralt’s face, cheeks chubby and joy coursing through him. Geralt felt a bit younger himself, his boulders lifting slightly from his shoulders just meeting the kid. 

"You are my long lost friend. I can feel it here in my heart. We are meant to be together, our destinies entwined. Like soup!” Julian said and broke out in a big smile, hands coming to grab Geralt’s across the table. Geralt didn’t pull his hands back but he was nervous until Julian squeezed their hands together. Julian looked right in his eyes, solidifying how serious he was. 

“Now!" The boy said and dropped his silverware and clapped his hands together. Geralt watched him curiously. Julian rubbed his hands together excitedly. 

"Have you ever had a honey cake baked with pork fat instead of butter?" Julian asked and lifted the glass cloche off the small cake that had been sitting to the side. His bottom lip was caught in his smile, a hunger filling his eyes that Geralt only ever seen in brothels. 

"Pork fat instead of butter?" Geralt asked and Julian was quick to cut him a large piece and put it on a separate plate, handing it to him before getting a big piece for himself. 

"Yes! It'll make you cream your trousers, I've never had anything better. Now, you're being rude by not eating so dig in before I start crying." Julian said and shoved a big bite into his mouth. Geralt thought he was funny, the way the boy’s cheeks puffed out and crumbs stuck to his soft looking lips. 

Geralt lifted it up and sniffed it before taking a bite. He moaned and chewed, looking at the boy’s smug look.  It was… incredible. Sweet and indulgent and fattening oily and rich. Something Geralt hadn’t tasted since his days of stealing from royals as a young man. 

"I told you!" the boy said and they ate in silence. Until Julian leaned back in his chair, rubbing his belly, he wasn’t very round just kinda… plush. Like a feather pillow or fresh baked buns. 

He watched Geralt eat like a man starved, looking a bit starved. He hated seeing hungry people. That’s why when he went into town he made sure to fill his pockets with sweets for the kids. He liked Geralt, the way he shoved food into his mouth and flashed his eyes around like a feral dog. He had nice hair and big hands and looked strong under his tattered clothes. 

"It's a nice day out today. My last nurse, she would put me out on the balcony usually. She wasn't a considerably strong woman, usually she'd call the yard boy, Edwin, to carry me down the stairs if I needed to be on the floor of the estate. I do miss being able to be around the animals. I rather like them." Julian said and laughed and shook his head. He hadn't been able to see the animals in years since his last nurse couldn't really wheel him out in the dirt. When he was a child he liked to go run around in the sheep pens, petting them and feeding them and feeling their soft noses. He did miss it terribly… 

Geralt swallowed the large bit of egg and bread that was in his mouth and wiped his face with his sleeve. He didn’t much care about manners. He had them, just didn’t use them. 

"I could take you, easily. Even if I had to pick your chair up, it wouldn't be very hard." He said and was almost blinded by how bright Julian’s smile was. 

"Oh that would be wonderful. Not today though, today I think you need a tour and to get a good wash up and perhaps we can find you some clothes that fit you better. Perhaps we wear the same!" Julian said giddily. He loved sharing, clothes, food, anything. But it would be so fun to dress Geralt up, maybe do his hair, polish his nails, all the things that Julian loved to do. All the pampering things. 

Geralt nodded, blush burning under his skin. He couldn't imagine how... dirty he must seem. He’d not been able to buy new clothes since his own had been stolen. He didn’t think to try and scrub the stains from his clothes before coming, assuming he’d just be put to work without meeting the head of the house. 

"I apologize for my appearance I-" Geralt started to apologize, nerves ebbing into his voice. He knew most wealthy people hated the look of dirty clothes in such a pristine home. Julian just waved him off, thin hand pale, nails shiny. 

"Nonsense, If I could I'd be rolling in the mud half my days. I love the outdoors, the fresh air, I’d adore just one more walk through the orchard... but we all live life as we can. We have a large bath downstairs or you are welcome to pick a room and we can manage a bath in there for you. Though downstairs I hear is the best for baths." Julian said and smiled, he would love to go downstairs and see everyone. 

Most of the people who worked never really made it up to Julian room. Usually leaving the young count to himself and his nurse and even then she was usually preparing his medicine and his bed and such. Sometimes they’d come by to show him something or ask if they could do something with the house. Bringing him fresh fruit from the orchard or asking to repaint the lattice. He’d like it more if he could actually go see them all and talk with them, be a part of their day to day, but… well he was okay with how things were. 

Geralt nodded and stood up, dusting the crumbs off himself. 

"Do you want to give me a tour?" Geralt asked, and Julian was glad to be pushed about, cane held between his knees. He wasn't strong enough to walk but he stood for a moment a few times. He liked being able to see the house, he told stories from when his sister painted on the walls and how he once climbed onto the roof to scare his mother but instead fell and landed on her. 

Geralt smiled and listened intently, helping Julian to sit back down when he started to tremble. He enjoyed the flowery and detailed way Julian described everything, as if he was writing a poem as he spoke. Each detail being told like it held the whole story together, words mixing like perfume in the air. Geralt liked it. 

----

Geralt liked living beside the Count. He easily found a place in the home, the room next to Julian’s own. He found a schedule and stepped easily to it. He found out that most clothes Julian wore he could fit into also, though a bit snug on the shoulders. 

It was easy day to day. 

He would wake up with the sun, wash his face, comb his hair, go down to the kitchen and find something to eat, usually eating some dried meat from a very old dusty box in the pantry. He’d get dressed in a nice outfit, a coat, shined shoes, clothes too rich for someone like him. He’d go wake up Julian by knocking lightly on the door, and going to the large cushy bed and finding one of Julian’s fragile hands. 

Julian warned him that he slept heavy and that he also bruised easily so a good shake to a shoulder would… not be the best option. So Geralt would find a pale hand and give it a good squeeze and some gentle rubs and Julian would be yawning and blinking awake. 

“Oh good morning, dear, how did you sleep?”

“Good morning Geralt, dear, have you eaten?”

“Mornin’ Grlt, I feel a bit drunk still, are you hungry?”

“Good morning, dear” 

Julian always had to welcome Geralt to the day. Always had something to grumble out first thing, always started the day with words. And each day Geralt felt closer and closer, he started sitting on the edge of the boy’s bed to hold his hand before waking him up. 

Each day Julian would marvel at Geralt, telling him that somehow just seeing his ‘pretty golden eyes’ made him feel better. Julian would tell Geralt about the books he’d read, play his harp or his lute when he could, sometimes he’d ask Geralt to bring him things. Sometimes it was puzzles, or chess. Geralt found Julian was a very very good chess player but he preferred checkers. 

And his dolls. Julian had a mountain of beautifully crafted dolls. Some were wood, others glass, others porcelaine. Julian had a story for each one, where it was from, who got it for him, when he got it, everything. Julian loved his dolls, he had a few that had on simpler outfits that he occasionally liked to carry around with him when he was feeling especially bad. He liked to brush their hair and put different outfits on them. He knew all their names, Amice, Joy, and Helewis being his favorites. Those three sat by his bed and often in his bed and were often moved around and carried. 

Geralt never really had toys but when a fever delusional Julian placed a doll in his lap and told him to take care of her, well damn it he was going to figure it out. Geralt learned that you have to be careful when combing their hair and how you have to dress them so they don’t break and how to clean them when you drop a cup of tea on them. He learned how to keep them nice but also love them. 

Each day Geralt spent with the boy, each day he heard the rumbly good morning, each day he ate three meals with him, each day he helped the boy into the warm tub, each day Geralt felt like he had never before. Warm and happy and his heart… his heart felt full . And it was all because of Julian. 

----

"Geralt? Would you please get me something to eat? I'm feeling oddly hungry." Julian said as he sat down from where he had been standing against the rail of the balcony. Somehow he felt... better today. He yelled hello to Edwin who was working in the garden and had been able to walk from his bed to the balcony. He had been feeling better each day it seemed these last few months. He’d been up more that was for sure. Geralt often told him that the sun would help him but also that the balcony was boring. So he was down, being rolled through the gardens or being pushed to the end of the driveway, laughing at the way the rocks bounced him around, or he was being carried down the stairs and sat at the large dining table to socialize with the servants. 

Geralt really did help him.

Julian wasn’t usually embarrassed but he felt more comfortable asking for help with certain things. He no longer struggled to wash himself, simply asking Geralt to wash his back or help rinse the soap off his skin, he didn’t feel shy asking for the bedpan or hurrying to the bathroom, Geralt would simply put him there. He felt easy saying that he didn’t want to wear pants to bed or that it was warm and he didn't want to wear a shirt in the bedroom. 

He was just… content and happy with Geralt. The stoic man’s short comments and quiet nature. It was comfortable. 

"Do you want me to make you some eggs?” Geralt offered from where he was sipping tea in the sun, opposite from where Julian sat at the small table. The boy smiled and looked over at his friend. 

“That sounds perfect, dear” Julian answered and Geralt was slow to finish his tea and stand up, walking away only to turn back. 

“Come on, I’m taking you with me.” He said and soon Julian was in his chair being carried down the stairs. 

He felt… alive. Warm, welcomed, happy, alive. 

-----

"Geralt here gives me strength. Now, let me pour you all a drink. Do not help me." Julian ordered as he stood up from the head of the table. He left his cane behind, instead picking up a quite heavy brass pitcher. Eleven people. He just had to pour eleven drinks. 

He’d been feeling better and better, each day he saw Geralt, each day that he saw everyone and got to do something fun, he just felt stronger. 

Geralt had been bundling him up and taking him out into the snow, or at least getting him out into the patio. Julian had even made a little snowman, and Geralt had never felt happier sneaking out at night to make a whole group of snowmen, right under the balcony so Julian could see them. He had even given them little leaf hats made from old cabbage. 

Geralt was the fuel that kept Julian trying. Kept the boy from wasting away in bed. Even on the worse days Geralt would at least bring him the little dolls and keep busy nearby. 

Everyone knew it too. That’s why when Julian proposed they all have a nice big winter feast together, they all knew Geralt would be picking at them all. ‘ Be on time’ ‘Show up’ ‘Don’t help him’, That was the oddest thing. Geralt went around telling everyone not to help Julian at all. 

Now they knew why. The count wanted to show his strength and independence. 

A few of them held their cups up to the spout to make it a bit easier as he shaked heavily with each pour. His arms were aching by the time he got to the other end of the table. Geralt held his cup up for Julian who let the pitcher rest heavily against its rim, knowing Geralt wouldn’t let the pitcher fall. 

Finally as he fell back into his chair, pitcher set hastily against the table, tears streamed down his face, he smiled and nodded, fixing his posture. 

"Goodness me, Geralt's cured me hasn't he." Julian joked as his body shook and hurt horrible and tears streamed down his face from both pain and joy. Everyone clapped and raised their glasses to him. It was a good thing, to see the count so happy, so active. It was a good thing to see. 

Even as he tried to pick up his cup only to have it drop from his hand and splash over the rim a bit. 

"To my friends, who share their strength with me, who's companionship gives me life." Julian said, voice shaking. He smiled and they all raised their glasses, cheering a bit before digging into the feast laid across the table. 

The dinner went on for hours, stories shared freely about travels and chance meetings. Some stories about even the darkest of margics, Julian was enthralled. He laughed and ate and drank and enjoyed the warmth of family around him. A warmth that he had only felt the barest of with his actual family now burn warm and white around him. He stayed until everyone else retired to their rooms, except Geralt who cleaned up. 

The alcohol sparked enough confidence in himself that he started to walk to his own room, he made it halfway to the stairs before Geralt had an arm around his waist. 

“Come on, princess. Up to bed with you.” Geralt rumbled, he was dead on his feet and Julian had run off on him. Julian was happy to be picked up and carried against Geralt’s chest, a much more intimate pose than how Geralt usually carried him in his chair. 

Julian giggled and hugged onto Geralt’s strong broad shoulders. 

“Are you the dashing prince that’s come to save me? I didn’t know I was so lucky.” Julian giggled as Geralt carried him up the stairs. The boy was dead asleep by the time he was being laid gently onto his bed. Geralt just watched him, his soft face relaxed, his chest rising and falling slowly. 

Geralt let himself indulge and petted through the soft chestnut hair that fell across the boy’s face. Geralt let himself enjoy the moment for just a second longer before gently stripping Julian of his day clothes and pulling on his thick winter pajamas and tucking him in under the thick blankets. 

“Gerlt? Geralt, are you here?” Julian asked sleepily as he heard the fire being built up for the night. Geralt hummed. 

“Yes, Julian?” He said softly, in a way that had Julian smiling into the darkness. The boy snuggled back into his bed, warm and full and a little drunk. 

“Nothing, just wanted to say thank you. Goodnight dear, I love you.” Julian said before rolling onto his side and falling fast asleep. 

Geralt was a statue. I love you . Geralt felt struck by lightning. Because… well…

“I love you too, Julian.” 

----

“Geralt are you- have you- have you ever-” Julian tried to ask one night as he read through one of his more dirty novels, it was french, of course. 

Geralt was scrubbing the wine out of some shirts, it was a hot day out and Julian had knocked over the whole pitcher. Geralt was shirtless, sitting by the wash basin in nothing but a pair of light pants. Julian just… well he didn’t really know. He was feeling… a certain way. 

“What was that?” Geralt asked as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. He looked over at Julian who was under the simple musin sheet, book held up so only his eyes were visible.

“Have you ever… are you a virgin?” Julian finally asked, voice turning squeaky. Geralt raised a brow at him and huffed a laugh. 

“I am not. I haven’t been for a long time. Why?” Geralt responded and went back to scrubbing, knowing Julian was a bit… timid when it came to anything sexual. He’d once said he’d been betrothed to a young countess when he was born but she’d left him when his family passed. And that he hadn’t had a girlfriend since. 

“I was um… I was just wondering. Um cause, oh you know, um… because I am.” Julian said, eyes just peaking over the top of his book. Geralt nodded, not looking at him. 

“I know.” Is all Geralt responded with. He was curious, of course, but he knew Julian was sensitive about his sexuality, or rather his lack thereof.  

“Is it… did you have sex w…with a girl?” Julian asked, hoping he wasn’t chasing Geralt away. He hoped he wasn’t overstepping; he just… he wanted to know. 

“I’ve had sex with girls, yes.” Geralt answered, his back was facing the boy now. Geralt grinned, it was just like talking to his younger brothers. Julian was just a young man, not really a count, just a teenager who wanted to know about sex. 

“Oh… have you… um… just girls?” Julian asked quietly, face burning up. He waited, staring at Geralt’s strong back, spattered with odd scars and marks. Geralt was so… fetching to look at. Strong and solid and confident and… handsome. All over handsome. Julian would bet his cock was handsome, too. 

Julian shook his head, getting that thought away from him when Geralt turned around. Now facing him, Geralt let a small smile grace his lips as he shook his head with a sigh. 

“No, not just girls. Why? Do girls not… interest you?” Geralt phrased carefully. Julian swallowed and shook his head from where he still hid behind his book. Geralt nodded with a hum and kept his eyes on Julian. He let his head cocked to the side, giving the boy a look. 

“That’s okay. You don’t have to like girls. Do you like anyone ?” Geralt asked, head tilted like a curious cat. He tried not to smile at the way Julian’s eyes flitted around the room from where they peaked over the book. 

“I um… I might.” Julian said, trying to sound confident in himself like Geralt did. He failed miserably though, ending up squeaking like a bad hinge. Geralt nodded and went back to scrubbing shirts. 

“Good.” Is all Geralt said before they fell back into a compioned silence. Julian went back to his book not really reading the kissing scene anymore, rather thought about Geralt… oh Geralt. 

------

“Geralt, do you…. Can I sit with you?” Julian asked as he made his way out to the balcony. He was leaning on his cane waiting. Geralt was confused, Julian never asked to sit in his own chair at his own table on his own balcony. 

“Go ahead?” Geralt said in a confused way but was soon letting out an exacerbated chuckle. Julian flopped down in his lap, legs thrown over the arm of the chair. He wasn’t a very heavy boy, not even half of Geralt's own weight. 

“Hmm, so much more comfortable.” Julian hummed and laid his head against Geralt’s shoulder, he loved the springtime. 

He loved how the sun was warm and the breeze was cool and how nice his heavy pants felt when they got warm from the sun but his light shirt kept him nice and cool. He loved how Geralt would pick him flowers and how the bees and butterflies were coming back slowly. He loved how in that moment spring meant that Geralt would sit on the balcony and read and had an open lap to sit on. 

Geralt set his book on the table, letting his arms wrap around the boy. He let his head fall to the side, laying against the top of Julian’s. It was… nice. 

“You’re heavy.” He said and Julian giggled and let his hand rest against Geralt’s chest, feeling the strong muscle hidden under his shirt. 

“You’re warm.” Julian said and snuggled deeper into Geralt, taking in big deep breaths of his smell, Geralt smelled a bit like horse but he always did and he smelled like dirt and blood and sweat and well… Julian liked it. Geralt smelled like living life and journey, it was nice. 

They sat there like that, basking in the warm sun, enjoying the company of each other, in silence. They each enjoyed it, both enjoying the feeling of another person pressed against them, both feeling calm companionship calming them both down to their bones. The breeze in the treetops, the birds chirping happily, quiet noise, the only small buzz of nature being the only sound around them. 

Silence though, was never Julian’s thing. At least not after his legs had fallen asleep and his heart hurt and his eyes watered. He sniffed but held still, still against Geralt’s strong body, eyes dancing across the horizon as the sun sank beyond the mountains. 

“You know Geralt… I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. Here, now, right here with you, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.” Julian said as tears flooded from his eyes. He turned and hid his face in the soft dark fabric of Geralt’s shirt, hand clutching where it had laid. 

Geralt just hugged him, holding him against his chest, hands rubbing up and down his trembling back. Julian was so emotional, always saying flowery things and crying and laughing and… having such big emotions. Feelings always upfront. So unlike Geralt. 

“I’m happy here, with you, too.” Geralt said, truth heavy in his voice. Julian huffed a laugh and wiggled so he was sitting up looking right into Geralt’s eyes. Julian’s blue eyes glimmered like diamonds, eyes rimmed red from crying. He flung his legs around so he was straddling Geralt as a serious look painted his face. 

“You’re happy here with me?” He asked, hands coming up to rub at his face but his eyes kept on Geralt’s. Geralt let his hands rest on Julian’s hips, causing the boy to gasp and buck back away from him before relaxing. Julian’s mouth was hung open, breaths thin and faster than usual. Geralt looked him up and down and hoped he wasn’t reading the boy wrong. 

“I’m very happy here Julian. I’m very happy being with you. You make me happy, Julian.” He said quietly, barely above a whisper. He didn’t want to risk leaning the few inches forward it would take to press his lips to Julian’s own. But he craved to just get a little taste, a tiny kiss, just to get the smallest. 

Julian smiled and put his hands on the sides of Geralt’s face. Squishing his cheeks. 

“Do you mean it?” Julian asked and stared into Geralt’s golden eyes, like he could see the truth if he just looked hard enough. Geralt moved his hands to pull Julians away from his face and held them in his own. 

“Julian?” Geralt said softly and let his hands warm the thin cold ones within them. Julian swallowed and looked down at his lips before looking back into his eyes. 

“Yeah?” Julian breathed out, his heart racing in his chest when he realized how they were sitting. They were…. So close. 

Geralt leaned in, tilting his head to the side just a bit, warm breath cascading over Julian’s lips and cheeks. Geralt let his eyes fall closed and his nose rub against Julian’s. He opened his eyes after only a moment, lids heavy as his body became warmer with want. 

“‘M gonna kiss you now” He warned and Julian was nodding needily. He pressed his lips gently, so so carefully against Julian’s own. 

Julian was… not a bad kisser. Eager, pushy, but… soft and tender. Lips staying shut, just easy pushes and movements. Geralt’s hands fell down to his hips, only to squeeze gently and run up and down Julian’s soft sides. Julians own hands found their way to Geralt’s shoulders, holding on for dear life. 

His eyes were tightly squeezed shut when they pulled back. Lips kissed red and plump where he was breathing shakily. He was panting from chaste, closed mouth kisses?

Cute, Geralt thought. 

Julian opened his eyes, rimmed with tears, and grasped Geralt’s jaw. He looked into Geralt’s eyes, glowing like fire in the sunset’s light. He felt like his heart was beating out of his chest and his head was getting light but he wanted to kiss Geralt more. He felt like he could cry with how happy he was, he was nearly crying with how much love he felt. 

“I’m gonna faint. But I wanna, wanna… will you put me to bed?” Julian said as his eyes started getting a bit fuzzy. Geralt was calm and gentle as he just stared at Julian’s bright blushed face. The boy just looked sleepy and rested his head against Geralt’s shoulder, hands falling into his lap. 

“I’ll put you to bed, Julek, little bird, come on.” Geralt whispered more to himself than the unconscious boy as he carried him back into the house, back to bed. 

Geralt busied himself around. Making a small fire, sweeping the floors, lighting the candles, bringing up fresh water to make tea, and he sat and watched Julian sleep, snuggled up under the covers. 

----

They shared more kisses, Julian falling into Geralt’s lap asking for a few sweet kisses or to just sit and eat together or he’d just nap in Geralt’s lap. 

Geralt was always grateful to have the other man near, chatting incessantly about anything from music to animals to pictures he’s seen of the far east. He liked to hear the boy explain how a new poet was rising a few townships over and that he was as senseless as headless chicken, or how there’s a new author and his books are written so well it’s like you’re actually standing amongst the jungles, hearing the monkeys, swimming under the waterfalls. 

Julian would go on and on, sitting on Geralt’s lap, sometimes a blanket thrown over them. Sometimes they would sit on the balcony in a large wicker chair that Geralt had brought up from the library downstairs. Sometimes Geralt would help Julian out to the garden and they’d sit on the grass together, cuddled in the sun. Other times Julian would be so weak that they simply sat very close next to each other, feet touching or hands holding. 

And each morning Geralt would make sure to clean his mouth and chew some mint before Julian was awake. Because each morning Geralt would sit on the edge of the bed, rub Julian’s hand in his own, and tell the boy it was time to start the day. And each morning Julian would pull Geralt down, usually by a hand on his jaw, and press a kiss to his lips. 

“Good morning dear, you look lovely.”

“Good morning, darling”

“‘Morning, lovely, please close the curtains”

Every morning Julian would give him a kiss and welcome Geralt to the day. Each morning Julian opened his eyes and pressed a kiss to him, Geralt was more than just awake, he was alive. Each morning Julian brought him back to life, restarted his heart, brought breath into his lungs. 

----

"Geralt? Will you come here to me?" Julian asked as he laid in bed, body aching and heavy. Ever since Julian's fall, Geralt would stay in the room until Julian was asleep. 

The boy had gotten up after he’d said his goodnights to Geralt. He’d been feeling well, very well, so he thought he might just go downstairs and find a cookie or two and head right back to bed, right back to bed!

However after a day of playing checkers and playing his harp and going down to play the piano while the servants cleaned and worked, he was not as strong as he had been that day. 

He fell in the hallway, nearly falling down the stairs. His ankle had swollen up and he had terrible black bruises. Geralt had lectured him, marching back and forth in the room while Julian wept in bed, saying he was sorry and that he wouldn’t do it again. Geralt also brought a cookie jar up and set it on the mantle. 

But he also refused to go to his own room until Julian was asleep. So when Julian bathed and was ready for bed, Geralt bathed and got ready for bed. It was warm in the home now, no need to make fires at night, so Geralt would simply sit by the window, single candle light lit by the door, and wait until he could hear Julian’s soft snores. 

But tonight… Julian felt… something felt heavy in his chest. Perhaps it had something to do with the book he was reading or maybe it was that his one act of independence had landed him with a swollen ankle and a bruised backside. 

Geralt came over and knelt by the bed, holding Julian’s outstretched hand. Julian smiled at him, his eyes looked tired and he was pale. 

Today had been a very hot humid day, the hours taking their toll on everyone. Even the housemaid had left behind some layers, all citing that Julian would be just fine seeing their bare feet or their hair not under a cap. Julian had spent most of the day laying atop the sheets in bed in nothing but a pair of light linen pants. Now he was tucked under the sheets, pants traded for his nighty. 

Now he just looked… tired. The moonlight only working to make him look paler, his under eyes darker, his skin cooler. Geralt held his hand, the smooth soft skin feeling softer than air. 

"Come lay under the covers with me." The boy asked and Geralt looked into his eyes in surprise. Julian’s bed? It was… the boy barely kept his few dolls on his bed, yet he wanted something like Geralt to marr its appearance? 

"In your bed?" Geralt asked, bringing the soft hand up to rub his cheek against, eyes watching Julian’s as he rolled them and sighed dramatically. Such a dramatic boy. 

"Well? I'm cold and I feel weak and I want to feel close. Come lay under my blankets, come lay with me." Julian begged, eyes brimming with tears. Geralt kissed his hand and warmed it between his own. He shook his head a bit and slipped his shoes off his feet

"Okay, only because I don't want you to cry." He said and pulled his dark shirt off and folded it, leaving it behind in his chair when he climbed behind Julian in bed. 

The boy was staring. Geralt was… beautiful. Such pale skin, scars spattered across his body, muscles like the statues carved from marble. He looked like a character from one of Julian’s dirty novels, a real Adonis, all edges and strength and- 

“What’s wrong, love? Am I… I can go sleep in my own bed. I can take another bath.” Geralt offered before he touched the bed, noticing Julian staring so hard he could feel himself shrinking. Julian just blinked at him, big bright eyes filled with something… light. 

“You never told me you were the fairest flower in all the fields, that I might gp blind merely from a glance at you.” Julian muttered, pushing himself to sit up to get a better look at the scars that whipped across his abdomen and chest. He felt a bit dizzy with how his blood grew hot and swirled in his gut. Geralt was… unfair. So pretty, so perfect, how dare he ever wear clothes. 

Geralt huffed and looked away, a light flush finding its way to his face. Julian… always with flowery words and and… compliments. 

“Julian, go to bed.” Geralt said and climbed in behind the boy who rolled over to face the man. He was biting his bottom lip, hands brought up curiously but halted to wait a mere inch from Geralt’s chest. 

“Can I touch you? I’ve never seen you… bare.” Julian said, looking at Geralt with a kind of… wonder. Wonder of how another man would feel under his hands, how Geralt’s skin would feel, would his scars feel soft or are they tender still, how would Geralt react if he just snuggled close. 

Geralt sighed and nodded, looking away as his face burned up. Julian made a happy noise and let his hands gently lay on the other’s chest. Julian was taken aback, shocked. 

Geralt was so warm, and he felt so solid, and he was so… everything. Julian let his hands press and feel and explore across the miles of pale skin, fingers tracing across scars, feeling Geralt’s heartbeat in his chest. Julian laid there, staring where his hand pressed into Geralt’s chest, feeling each heartbeat as if it was his own. 

“I love you Geralt.” Julian whispered, he could barely tear his eyes away to look into the nearly glowing gold ones. Geralt smiled and let his own larger hand fall over Julian’s. 

“It’s late, it’s dark, it’s time for bed. Go to sleep, Julian.” Geralt whispered so sweetly and Julian was nodding along. He was so sleepy and Geralt was so warm and in his bed and it was… it was perfect. 

He cuddled in close, hiding himself away in Geralt’s chest, throwing an arm and leg over him. He let his eyes fall shut as he felt Geralt’s arm wrap around him, hand rubbing up and down his back. 

“You’re not allowed to wear clothes anymore, by the way.” Julian muttered into the soft skin of Geralt’s collarbone. Geralt huffed and gave Julian a squeeze. 

“Go to sleep, little bird.” Geralt said and soon Julian was drooling asleep, snores lulling Geralt into his own deep restful sleep. 

-----

"Geralt let me, let me walk. I can make it. I've been working on my stamina." Julian said as he stood up from his chair in the hallway. He gave his love a wink and got his cane under him. Geralt shook his head and allowed Julian to walk in front of him. 

Ever since they started sleeping in the same bed, they had both been getting much more sleep. Which meant Julian wanted to do everything together. They got up, got clean and fresh, dressed, and made their way down to eat with the rest of the household. Which meant going down the stairs. Which usually meant Geralt carrying Julian like a princess, or over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and then Julian sometimes walking in through the dining room doors. 

However today Julian had decided he would walk to breakfast. Well… walk to the stairs that is. He had been walking more, getting stronger, and he was feeling especially confident. 

"Sure thing, Julek, put your big girl panties on this morning?" Geralt teased and Julian blushed and didn't look at him. Geralt’s joking had grown from grunts to actual comments. And the nickname… It made Julian feel all soft and melty. 

Geralt was a Slov, Julian had learned, and he'd begun calling Julian ‘Julek’, others called him Jewel, and an older lady who came to the house on Geralt's call to see Julian's progress called him Jaskier but she also only spoke polish. But Julek , hearing Geralt’s gruff voice say the name, it made Julian feel like a new person, a new thing, something just created. 

“I sure did! And they fit me just fine!” Julian responded and took a steeling breath. 

Julian started walking down the hall finding it was easier than the last time he'd tried. Each step steady until nearly to the stairwell. His legs began to shake as he grabbed onto the railing, his heart was racing in his chest and his head felt a bit light. He was trying to take big deep breaths, but he felt like his chest was squeezing. 

Geralt was quick to put an arm around his waist, supporting him enough so he could catch his breath before scooping him up. Geralt gave him a I-told-you-so look and started walking down the stairs. 

"Yeah, eat shit, I still made it." Julian teased as Geralt grinned as they made it down to the dining room. 

-----

Loving was easy between them. Life was easy between them. 

They spent days sitting together in the sun. Geralt once set Julian out in the rain, giggling like a kid until he began to shiver a bit and then Geralt had a warm fire and a blanket to wrap around him. 

The summer was Julian’s favorite time of year. He loved the feeling of a sun warmed blanket and the scent of the gardens in full bloom. Geralt was there to bring him flowers and sit with him to watch the birds. 

Geralt didn’t care about the weather. He just loved seeing Julian so happy. He loved to tuck a flower behind his ear, he loved to trade him fresh apples and berries for kisses, he loved to go out in the rain to bring Julian a hydrangea bloom just to shake it over his head to give the boy a shower. 

Most of all he loved the way Julian laughed. Full and hearty like he had heard the funniest thing every time. He loved the way Julian smiled, bright and wonderful. He loved the way even when he was weak and sick Julian still gave Geralt shit and was a brat and gave sass. 

He loved Julian more than anything. 

And everyday Geralt was happy. Julian was happy. It was… good. Geralt had lived for a very long time and yet he’d never been so happy. 

They more often than not shared a bed, Julian cradled against Geralt's chest. During the warmer months Geralt would strip them both down to their sleep clothes. Julian sleeping in nearly see-through linen nighties and Geralt in a pair of soft pants and no underclothes. In the colder months Geralt would sleep in heavy wool pants but never had the heart to put a shirt on, knowing Julian found comfort in skin-to-skin. Julian would wrap up in his heavy nighty and a pair of thick socks. 

They both grew into their new schedule, they just fit together, like an easy rhythm. 

----

Julian got stronger, he ate more, in the nearly two years since Geralt had arrived, he'd grown able to make it down the stairs, stay awake all during the day, and even ride into town and see the people, often only needing his cane. He could pour the whole table glasses of wine with just a slight tremble. He was so happy with life, he was so happy with everything. Even on his sickest days he felt everything was okay. Because Geralt was there and Geralt was… Geralt was strong enough for the both of them. 

--

One night, he felt... viral . He felt alive and hot in belly for the first time in so long. 

He was laying in bed, just under a sheet, waiting for Geralt to get done cleaning up after their baths. They’d begun bathing together, hualing the big tub up from the first floor up so they could sit front to back in the tub. Geralt claiming he didn’t have much shame, and Julian agreeing cause wow… Geralt had let Julian touch him, sort of. He never let him touch his cock but let the boy press their bodies together, half hard cock rub against his plush ass. 

Julian had liked that feeling but they never had that… sensual atmosphere in their baths. But that night… he had a hot melty feeling in his groin and his cock ached. His head was full of images of Geralt, his body, the way he looked soaked from the rain, short hair flopping over his face, water dropping running down his chiseled muscles. The way he grunts when he has to haul something heavy around, the weak little huffs he makes when he has a bad dream, the sighs he lets out when he lays down after a long day. 

He let his hand creep down to himself, under his chemise. He was hard. Goodness... that hadn't happened in years. He could barely remember the last time he was hard and awake. He’d woken up with a wet nighty many times but never woke up… hard. Nor had he worked up to a hardon while he was awake for so long. 

"Geralt!" Julian called and heard the thundering quick steps of Geralt running to the room. Julian had his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Hand cradling the burning flesh of his cock. 

"What? You scared me, you prick." Geralt said as he saw the boy was fine in bed. He took a calming breath and put his hands on his hips. Julian had an odd look on his face and he had his arms weird across his body… Geralt just stared at him and slowly walked up to the bed. 

"My prick indeed." Julian said and pulled his hand away from himself after a quick squeeze.

"What're you on about?" Geralt asked. He was tired and just wanted to go to bed. Julian looked away from him, face turning a cherry red. 

"Geralt... can we do something together?" The count asked nervously and brought his knees together under the thin sheet. He wanted Geralt so much, just seeing the other man standing there in his thin pants and light shirt, the feeling of getting down to Geralt’s skin, to feel his warmth. 

Geralt looked down at the boy, his eyes blown big, cheeks cherry red and creeping down his chest. He wanted to pick the sheet up to see underneath, see what the boy was hiding. He felt the pull, the warmth in his own belly, he wasn’t a very sexual man but Julian was so soft. So sweet smelling and warm with the plushest body and the kindest hands. 

"What do you wanna do, Julek?" Geralt asked, letting his fingers graze atop the covers beside Julian’s arm. He gave the boy a look, golden eyes warm and open, lips practically begging for a kiss. 

"I um... not to be so forward but will you lay under the cover with me and well... l-lay with me?" Julian asked, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

Geralt grinned, pointy teeth on display and crawled up on the bed, throwing a leg over Julian’s thighs, causing his legs to lay flat. 

Julian had a nervous look on his face that was soon being washed away by biting tongue filled kisses. Geralt let himself go, hips grinding down onto Julian’s, savoring the feeling of a hard cock rubbing up against his own. He got washed away in the feeling of Julian yanking his shirt off and untying his trousers. 

“You’re stunning, my dear, so pretty” Julian said and let his hands wander, rubbing across Geralt’s broad shoulders, down to squeeze his hips, back up to cup his muscular pec. 

“Do you really want this, Julian? Do you want me to… to do this to you?” Geralt asked from where he had started sucking and nipping down the boy’s neck. Julian grabbed two fistfulls of his hair and yanked him up to face him, determination plain on his face. 

Geralt sucked in a breath and dared not move from where Julian had an iron grip in his hair, the pain of it sparking something he rather not look into. He stared down at the boy, he wanted, gods he wanted , but… he couldn’t do anything until Julian said okay. 

“Geralt, man who’s stolen my heart, man who’s the only one I’ve ever loved, if you don’t touch my cock in the next moment I’m going to cry. I can’t do much else but I’ll cry.” Julian threatened and tears already welled up in his eyes. He felt good and Geratl was so pretty and it was so so good and so so new. 

Geralt shook his head and Julian let go of his hair. He leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to Julian’s lips. Julian sniffs as tears roll down his face, breaths hiccuping as Geralt ground down again. 

“I thought you wouldn’t cry.” Geralt said and leaned back to pull the sheet away and look down at where Julian’s cock was standing up against his belly, nighty rucked up to his sternum. He looked down and gave it a few light strokes. 

Julian moaned and bucked up, hands scrambling down to grab at Geralt’s wrists. He cried out and looked up at Geralt who had a look on his face, like a starved animal. 

“You gotta hold still for me, for just a minute, baby, just hold still, Julek” Geralt panted out and leaned back yanking his pants down, struggling just to get them down. 

“Geralt, what- what’re you going to do? I don’t… you know I don’t know how this works. Not with… not with two boys” Julian said in a panic as he yanked Geralt’s pants off his feet and flung them away. Geralt was back on him, straddling his waist, huge heavy cock covering Julian’s own. 

Julian just stared down at it… it was nearly the size of his forearm and it felt like fire on his skin. Geralt was so fucking perfect and… Julian felt so nervous, his belly twisting in a bad way. 

That was until Geralt was rubbing his hands up and down Julian’s sides, shushing him. 

“Just hold on, little bird, you just have to hold on for a second.” Geralt said and looked at Julian’s small bedside… oil. They needed some for this activity. 

He thought about it just for a moment before remembering something he’d seen in Julian’s harp case. He leaned down and kissed the boy again, sucking on his tongue for a moment when he pulled back. 

“Do you have that… that polishing oil with your harp still?” Geralt asked as he leaned back from kissing him. Julian was breathless, tears rolling down the sides of his face as he nodded, eyes unfocused and lips kissed red and puffy. 

“Yeah, it’s- it’s in the drawer” Julian answered after a moment to process what Geralt had said. He watched the larger man move to climb off the bed and dig through the drawer in the corner that held all Julian’s instrument’s tools and such. 

Gorgeous. That’s all Julian could think as he witnessed Geralt standing in the moonlight. One side of him, pale skin glowing in the light of the full moon, the other warmed by the candles. His hair was longer than it had been when he first arrived, now catching the light and casting the most stunning shadows across the man’s angular face. 

“ Julian ~” The boy finally heard as he came back into his mind, noticing Geralt was speaking. He looked at him, all tall and strong and hot and his cock and body and…

“‘M a bit dizzy” Julian said and Geralt soon returned, laying Julian back down flat, wiping tears away from his face, shushing him. 

“It’s alright. Do you still want to do this? It’s okay if you-” Geralt said and leaned down to wipe Julian’s eyes clean and looked down at him. He was cute. Plush and snuggly, adorable in his frilly nighty and his little socks. He was hard still, cock hard against his belly, dripping with need. 

“Please, I want you to do it. I wanna do it with you. I wanna lose… it … to you. Please.” Julian begged, staring up at Geralt’s amber eyes. He didn’t wanna be a virgin a moment longer; he wanted Geralt more than anything else. 

Geralt smiled down at him letting his hand go from wiping away tears to push the hair off Julian’s face. He crawled back up on the bed, straddling the boy once more, hands faced on his chest as he ground his ass over the boy’s hard cock. 

Julian let out a long moan and grabbed Geralt’s hips, thick muscular hips. 

“Be good, little bird, have patience.” Geralt whispered as he sat up straight, uncorking the bottle of oil. He looked down at Julian as he covered his fingers with the slick. Julian watched and looked confused. 

That was until Geralt was letting his fingers rub and slip into his hole. 

“I put my cock there? In you there? Won’t it hurt?” The boy asked as he watched Geralt’s hands move, one fingering himself open, the other holding the base of his cock, occasionally giving it a few tight strokes. 

Geralt was efficient with stretching himself out a bit, Julian wasn’t really that big. He huffed a laugh at the boy’s questioning and pulling his fingers away, stroking Julian’s cock a few times getting the extra oil off on him. 

Julian watched him, hands gripping the sheet below him. He stared down at where Geralt was kneeling over him, where Geralt was holding his cock to stand up. 

“It’s not gonna hurt me, sweetheart, this is just how… how boys do it.” Geralt said, breathless as he guided Julian’s cock to press against his wet hole. Julian just made sorry little huffing sounds until Geralt was easing down onto him. Both then letting out long moans until Geralt was sat on Julian’s hips. 

“You did it. ‘M not a virgin. Fucking gods, you feel amazing” Julian moaned, throwing his head back against the pillow under him, overwhelmed with the feeling. The feeling of being connected, of Geralt’s tight warm body, the feeling of them being together, matching and fitting together like puzzle pieces. They did match perfectly together. 

And they could both feel it. 

“I did, I took you. You’re mine, Julek, mine only. Promise me, promise your mine.” Geralt panted out and took Jlian’s hand, holding it to his heaving chest. Julian nodded, automatically agreeing. 

“Yes, yes my dear heart, my love, I’m all yours. All yours. Now have me, please.” Julian said, desperation creeping into his voice at the end. Geralt stayed for a breath longer, feeling how his heart felt sparked alive. 

And then the love melted away and the lust won over. He rose up on his knees till only the tip was still inside him and then he was letting himself fall back down, careful not to hurt the boy’s legs. Well as careful as he could be when Julian was clawing at his hips and moaning like he was putting a show on at a brothel. 

Julian was quick to cum, as expected, and was nearly passed out when Geralt guided his hand to wrap around his own cock. He was stroking himself more than Julian was, but that was okay, it was better than okay when he came and a single drop reached up to Julian’s chin and the boy licked it off. 

“That’s nasty, why do people swallow that stuff?” The boy said and made a face when the drop of cum hit his tongue. Geralt laughed, really laughed, as he sat beside the boy, feeling the cum drip from his hole. 

He reached back and grabbed the water from the bedside and guided Julian to drink some. The boy drank some and laid back, eyes slipping close as his hands rested against his clothed chest. 

He felt no shame laying in his bed with his wet cock out and his belly and nighty covered in another man’s cum. He only felt happy, and content, and tired, and wow… wow. 

“I love you Geralt. Do you want to get another bath?” The boy asked without opening his eyes. He missed the way Geralt looked down at him, eyes full of love and devotion. He didn’t know what was touching him either before he was being lifted up and carried down to the stairs. 

He didn’t open his eyes to see Geralt’s tears rolling down his face, or his smile, or his trembling lip. He was already asleep as Geralt filled a tub and held him close to his chest and wept as he cleaned them both. 

“môj vtáčik, môj, zostaň tu, zostaň so mnou” ( my little bird, mine, stay here, stay with me ) He whispered quietly as he tucked them both back into bed, holding and cuddling close to Julian who only sighed and wrapped his arms around the warm body open to him. 

It was perfect. So perfect. Warm and cozy and they both slept so well that night. Love was so thick in the air you could nearly see it. It was more than just perfect. It was nice. Geralt learned that nice was… so much better. So much better than being alive, than seeing, than hearing, than anything else. Nice was lovely. Nice was… alive. 

However nothing nice ever lasts.  

Julian got sick. 

So, so sick. 

He was pale, he barely ate, he was always cold, he had nose bleeds and his eyes went fuzzy and he was...

He was dying. 

Geralt tried everything to help him, gave him meds, asked the mages, asked the warlocks, he tried everything but Julian would smile and kiss and tell him it would be okay. 

"You knew this would happen when you came here. I'm sorry, Geralt. I'm so sorry I'm hurting you." The boy cried and held the man’s face in his trembling hands. He felt so terrible, not for himself, but for seeing Geralt be so worried. He could see the pain in Geralt's eyes each day when he wasn’t any better or when he struggled to breath or when he hacked up blood. He felt so terrible for hurting his beloved man. 

"No Julek, you're not hurting me. I never knew I could love before you. I love you, Julian, I love you." Geralt said as tears slid down his face, hands holding onto Julian’s thin wrists. He smiled at the pale skeleton that was once his plush pudgy love. 

He still loved him.

He’d love him a thousand times and a million times over. He’d give anything for him. He’d give him life, his heart, his body, anything. He just wanted Julian… to stay with him. 

"I love you too, my gem, my handsome man. Don't weep, my love, don't cry. You've given me more in the past few years than anyone else has my entire life. I'm so grateful for you. Please don't forget how much you gave me, I can never repay you." Julian said and wiped Geralt’s tears away with his thumbs. He was happy, he supposed. He was happy to have ever had Geralt for a moment. To have ever met him, to have ever even seen him. He could never repay the gods, destiny, or whoever brought the man to his home. He was happy to have had the man in his life. It hurt his heart to know he was hurting the strong man who wept before him. 

"You could stay. You could stay with me forever. Never leave me, please, please stay with me. I don't have anyone else." Geralt begged and begged. He’d do anything for Julian to stay. Anything. Julian only smiled and used his sleeve to pat away Geralt’s big tears. He shushed the bigger man and leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, and his lips. 

"I'll stay. You're mine, I'm yours. We’re meant to be with each other. Our destinies are intertwined, our lives are melted together. Like soup." Julian said, remembering the first conversation they ever had, the feeling he had. Geralt huffed a sad laugh and nodded. 

"Like soup." He agreed and laid Julian back down. He could rest for a bit before Geralt brought their dinner up, even knowing Julian wasn’t going to eat, he’d still sit the boy at the table and sit with him. 

They went to bed, Geralt putting a nice clean nighty and socks onto Julian, and disrobing himself down to a pair of thick pants and socks. The seasons were changing and it was a bitter night. He made sure to cover Julian up, making sure he was warm. 

“Goodnight, my love, try to get some sleep, you’ve been restless for so long now.” Julian said to him with a soft kiss before rolling over to be spooned and snuggled. 

“I love you, Julek, my heart is yours.” Geralt confessed and pressed as close as he could to the boy and let exhaustion take over him. 

When Geralt woke up Julian was gone. 

He dressed him, put him in the middle of the bed, and made him look like a king. He got a cloth and washed him, ran a brush through his soft hair, and made sure he looked neat and noble. 

Not a tear rolling down his face. He needed to go away, he needed to leave before the successor came. He needed to make sure Julian was treated properly and then he needed to leave. 

He cleaned the room, face stone cold. 

He was in shock really, his chest hurt. He walked down and called everyone into the dining room and they all already knew. 

Geralt went into the town and informed them. 

A cousin would be taking the estate and the power. 

Geralt dug his grave and buried him the way he wanted to be, with his music notes and his childhood harp. He had cried over the boy when he was tasked with covering him in soil. He sobbed and sobbed, letting out the most pained sounds half the town had ever heard. He howled and cried out like an animal being shredded by wolves. 

He slept there in the dirt over the boy, refusing to leave him until the leaves covered the grave. He carved a J out of a strong branch of wood and placed it over where Julian was. 

Geralt was darker than night as he moved through the house, he would come at night and leave at dawn. Things were moved and changed, no one caring though. No one was going to question him and his grief. 

He was told Julian had given him a house in the mountains and that was the last anyone ever seen of Geralt, Servant of The Flower of Lettenhoven. Lover of the Great Count Julian Of Lettenhoven. 

No one knew where he went, assuming he had left just as he had arrived, in the darkness of night in silence. The house in the mountains had been destroyed by an avalanche years ago, no one went looking for trouble anyway.

Next Chapter ->

[apupp3tw0-strings]

Ragdoll's Revenge

Date: October 17th, 2131

Okay. We're at Castle Town now. Look's like everyone's getting settled in alright. CK did have Dorothy, er, well, the Patch Crown. I think she's still asleep. Like the other secret bosses from Kris's journey. ... I should sort out some better accommodations than the inventory. Spamton didn't seem to like it, so I doubt the others do either, even if they're dormant at the moment. Maybe I can get Remie to set something up? She seems eager to help and stuff. First though we should wait for Kris to show up. I think CK said they were still helping Auntie Tori with something.

While we wait though, I should tell you about the battle.

The inside of the cell was padded, with some fabric patches sewn on the walls and floor. At the end of the room, kneeled a ragdoll Darkner. Chained up by her wrists as needles were stuck into her back. She seemed to be breathing heavily as we approached.

"Hah haha!//Finally, some//NO ONE WILL//to see the world as// Moment of truth.//And as//FREEDOM.//one step at a time.//After I Enslave//tell you the truth//I can show up//Why Everyone Else Is So//The truth...//!!!" I wonder if there's something with the... whoever Darkners like Spamton, Jevil, and Dorothy meet that causes these weird speech patterns. Talking in round about riddles and rhymes, broken ads, stitched together dialogue. Is it some form of punishment? Just a side effect of meeting him? ... A method of control?

"So um, what is this 'truth', ribatti, ribatti?" Remie asked. I was wondering that too. I've been wondering it since I met Jevil and Spamton. What do they mean when they talk of Light? Of Freedom? Of games or deals or communion? Spamton keeps randomly screaming about burning, I don't know if it was acid or seeing too far. What does it mean? What does it mean!?

"Ha ha ha!!!//The truth...//OH, IT'S JUST A SIMPLE//truth or dare" Dorothy managed to break free of her chains as she rained a row of needles just past our faces. "The truth is,//in this world..." She stood up, flexing her back to send the pins and needles stuck into her to go flying before she pulled out one needled that transformed into a giant mallet. "It's KILL or BE killed."

"MWEH HEH! SO THAT'S HOW IT'S GONNA BE?" CK exclaimed excitedly as we all drew our weapons as well, "THEN BRING IT!!!"

"you wanna fight//the truth?//YOU KIDS ARE//couldn't stand.//Addicting Game of Chance//!!!"

And thus the battle began.

Flying needles, stitching thread, pounding hammers. The fight was absolutely terrifying, yet there was still a part of me that found it... fun? No, maybe not fun. Maybe that was just the adrenaline talking. I knew that no matter what, I had to help. I couldn't just leave her like this. Luckily the Askers seemed to agree. Continuing to try and refusing to give up until we spared Dorothy. Still doesn't mean it didn't hurt. We died. I died. Like four times. I literally felt my soul (the soul? Was it my actual one or that... thing?) shatter like, at least four times! I experienced death! It was nothing but an empty void with... someone calling out faintly. To me? To the Askers? I don't know. To me it was a whisper. Most of what I heard was Papa. Encouraging me to get up and keep going. And so we did. We got up and tried again... and then died again!

At least now I know what the glowing stars were for.

Okay, okay. Calm down. Point is you're still alive now and hopefully you won't have to go through anything like that again anytime soon. Where was I?

Yeah, the battle. Sparing Dorothy was... difficult. Not only did we die alot, but it took a long while. I feel like... At least 4 stages? And I think that's just because we managed to spare her before a 5th. There were two ACTs, but we only used Patch like, once. Probably as it seemed to make her attacks hit harder. I remember for Calm, Remie sung a song, and CK tried his best to speak softer, but I just kept trying to whisper and communicate to Dorothy in whatever ways I could.

"I'm sorry." "You must be in so much pain." "I'm trying to help." "I want to help." "What happened to you?" "Who did this?" "It'll be okay." "I'm going to get you out of this." "Please let me get you out of this." "I'd be angry too."

With every Calm, Dorothy seemed to get a little more tired. Bit by bit, turn by turn. She was still angry though. Very, VERY, angry.

"The gash weaves//past this//!!" "Cotton heart and button eye//Now//It's time to//DIE! DIE! DIE!" "Stab The Earth//with//saws and needles"

After many attempts and four long phases, we finally managed to wear her down. We got her tired enough for Remie to cast Pacify.

"HUFF//Huff… puff…!//this isn't another trick, is it//?" As Dorothy lowered her hammer and stopped attacking, she was breathing heavily. Clearly the battle had taken a lot out of all of us. "You kids//you won’t fight.)//I will KILL you.////Yet…//You//calmly whispered something to DOROTHY." (Was she able to hear the flavor text? ... Where did the flavor text even come from???)

"…//Why was I//FIGHT until you almost defeat them…)//I FEEL SO//ANGRY and STRESSED OUT!!!" At that point, she seemed to almost break down. The weight of her exhaustion getting to her. "I'm so tired of this,//Yet… strangely…//Only the first//through the start.)" Dorothy looked up to us as she seemed to give us some sort of warning. "The Knight//RETURNS, AND//Supreme Empire//will fall down//Lightners//are you ready?//For what?//UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLINGS…!!!"

"Urah ha ha ha…//Maybe you can//maybe you can't use that. H… How should//I know what you really want to say. Lightner's//you continue to be yourself.//THE ONE IN CONTROL?" After that, Dorothy kneeled down took off the crown on her head, presenting it to us. "Let me give you my//Grant me strength!" After that she turned into the crown? I think? I'm still confused...

*(You got ShadowCrystal.)

*You got PatchCrown

... We headed back upstairs after that before back tracking to the Dusty Plains. It seems we had someone to talk to.

To be Continued...

[storiesofsvu]

Bruh… I had to pause 911 right as a bridge collapsed with the entire 118 on it, tonight’s eps better be good LOL.

Also don’t blame me if I have minimal notes tonight I’m watching while detangling my mess of a hair (don’t be like me and throw your still damp, naturally wavy hair into a bun and then keep it in buns all week for two weeks back to back, it isn’t fun.) (updated: it was not as bad nor did it take as long as i expected lol)

Damn. That was a quick opening…

“sprinkles on top” was a very dinozzo delivered line… classy

This husband has definitely been on svu before

My firestick remote is fucking fucked… i either need to replace it or it got wet or something. It stopped working yesterday, I swapped the batteries and it was fine until just now when it crapped out again. I fucked around and moved the batteries back and forth and it started working again but like wtf…

Man… people are fucking stupid. If you’re going to be caught on camera breaking a law… maybe don’t wear something that is labelled with a company/sports team/brand/etc that can be traced back to you… (then again, people are literally recording themselves committing crimes and posting them on tik tok so… I dunno what I expected LOL)

Why not get the KID out rather than try and take the bag outside?

Ah yes, the classic “12 years of classic school” line drop earlier in the episode for the same cop to “identify” with the perp and talk him down during confrontation.

I’m REALLY happy with the addition of Nick and mccoy being gone. Because when it was mccoy and Nolan vs Samantha she was NEVER listened to or heard, they’d just like, scoff and ignore her/say she’s being too passionate or shit. But with nick he weighs both of their sides, explains it to the other in a way they can understand (aka talking to Nolan isn’t like talking to a wall lol) and generally backs sam and I really like that about this dynamic.

When is sam gonna be able to work a case on her own? Someone hire hugh dancy for another small gig so he needs time off lol

Woof, asking the husband to do this is a BIG thing.

This is a super intriguing and controversial case. Like, when a baby is born/killed/pregnant woman is beaten and the baby is found dead (or any of those kind of cases on svu) it’s always considered murder of the baby if they took a breath outside of the womb, meaning they’re breathing on their own. Currently the vis is NOT breathing on her own cause of machines, so the same notion should apply… (which is lowkey what they’re going for with this case)

LOL not my brain going right to Barba on the “nurse who yanks the plug on a ventilated baby and the judge says no charge”

“Dr Calhoun” the way I literally just SCREAMED. How tf did you have RITA CALHOUN on your show literally 2 weeks ago and name another character with the same last name this week. Come ON.

Im lowkey surprised Nolan didn’t lose his shit all “WHAT did you do?!” even though it was in their favour.

Oh I spoke too soon. “as long as you can sleep at night” COME ON

Ah yes, here’s the rest of the emotional backstory of the character to explain their motivations/opposing views. (as I was LITERALLY saying, “we know nothing about these characters personal lives”)

But like, ACTUALLY. We know that the one detective is married with kids, I don’t think Shaw is, we don’t know much/if anything about him. Nolan as far as I remember is single, now we know about his dad. Sam’s sister was killed and the perp never sentenced/found. We know little to nothing about Nick as of now….

Okay SVU time!

The way that scene jump was cut I literally thought that was hannah’s brother with her phone or something, or worse that THEY were texting. That was a bad editing choice.

Ewww gross this dad is terrible

“I thought we told each other everything” bruh. I’m sorry but in EVERY parent/child relationship there is ALWAYS going to be a time when you stop telling each other everything. Esp if/when it comes to sex and personal relationships…

JEEEESSSEEEE

Waiting for the time when Jesse looks to sonny and is all “so you’re not my real dad, but do you know who?”

I understand carisi wanting to go off to confront this creep, but to also leave jesse alone on a street corner in NEW YORK when she’s completely distracted with her brand new cell phone and not paying attention to her surroundings. Like… soshine, amanda will literally rip you apart with her bare hands if something happens to the girls on your watch…

Amanda’s new job keeping her travelling a lot is the perfectly lazy excuse to have her mentioned but not back on the show full time lol. Though it very much leaves it open to guest star roles so… I’m down.

As if Jesse is already NINE like that is wild (it’s wild because I didn’t watch the entire series when it aired and marathoning it lol)

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE OTHER TWO. I swear to GOD if they’re not in this week I will fight someone

Oop. Personal fact from curry tonight too. Okay, she’s got son(s), but I don’t think she’s married?

Why are there no lights on in this house?

Woof. Dad RIGHT on there with the lawyer, that’s SUSPICIOUS. (honestly, no its not you should never talk to the cops without one lol, but in this case… suspicious…)

“there’s no Romeo and Juliet clause in new York” I’m sorry.. WHAT? How many old episodes include that clause on why it’s NOT a case?! Wtf??

“yeah…okay…” *warning glance* is classic olivia for “please shut the fuck up”

Christ… talking about the first time you’ve ever had sex not just in front of your mom but two other adult women… like I know they’re helping her, she knows they’re trying to help her but it’s still SO awkward

Yeah I think liv was right.. carisi’s a little too rough in this interview. His parents already immediately lawyered up, you need to sweeten this boy up gently and not accusatory to get him talking

“don’t allow pornography in our house” ma’am, there are ALWAYS gonna be ways around that…

My heart just MELTED (and my uterus exploded) at the way Joe said “I want them” about kids. Don’t even care if that was a tactic… (cause I do believe he wants them but I also believe it terrifies him)

IS THIS GUY SERIOUSLY TRYING TO BRIBE A FUCKING COP??? JEEEESSSSUUUSSS

Jfc joe is so fucking hot

“said he saw it online” uhm…carisi are you DEAF?! The older kids on the (rugby?) team told/showed him that girls liked it.

JEEEESUS. BAD COP JOE AND BAD COP KATE IN ONE INTERROGATION?!!! My bisexual ass CANNOT

THE DAD fucking showed him the fucking porn?!?! JESUS. Uggghhh

Why did NO one react to the “he tried to bribe me” comment. Isn’t that a fucking federal offence??

“I didn’t hear that” classic ada line. Bless you carisi.

“yeah that sucks” LOL

They cast these cousins super well cause I legit thought they were the same kid for a second

FUCK joe’s so hot

“he’s got daughter’s, any half decent father would feel the same” not carisi getting the stabler treatment in 2024

I understand the boys being held responsible, but what about the cab driver that hit her?? like a good defence lawyer of the boys could deflect it to him…

I have yelled too many times tonight… but joe in that tight white tee? PLEASE

Im sorry, no matter how much of a lawyer sonny is, he is NOT a whiskey or scotch drinker. Especially not straight up. Like, it’d be mixed with something.  (the proof is canon. We saw liv take a sip but not him)

Anyways, okay so tonight’s eps were good!!

Anyone know when OC’s supposed to start? Cause I miss those babies…

as usual, feel free to hit up the dm's/ask box to discuss tonights eps (or any other ones! <3)

[acourtofbooksandshadows]

I’m gonna some points onto this.

Rhysand:

•Literally is fucking furious that tamlin locks up Feyre then turns around and locks up Nesta.

•GETS UPSET WITH NESTA FOR HAVING HUMAN EMOTIONS. Like let’s not forget she’s in her early to mid 20’s, just got turned Fae against her will because her sister couldn’t fucking leave shit alone. While everyone else in the IC excluding Feyre and Elain have had hundreds of years to grow and regulate emotions and be big kids or whatever.

•Tells Az to fuck off when it comes to Elain even though he purposely got Feyre drunk and has sexualized her on multiple occasions in front of groups of people. Like Elain is showing Az interest he’s not forcing her into anything(I am a Gwyn and Az shipper though)

•The fact that he seems to be all progressive and wanting to a change yet doesn’t actually implement any key changes. I.e. Hewn City and the way that Illyrian females are still treated like fucking trash.

Cassian:

•Knows Nesta is his mate but precedes to treat her like shit.

•He out of everyone should understand PTSD since he’s literally the General of Bloodshed blah blah blah. So how did he not think that Nesta could possibly have PTSD and this was how she was treating it?

•He got mad at Nesta for telling HER sister something about HER body that no one else would fucking tell her. Then preceded to punish her for it.

•Also tries to seem all progressive and shit but also turns a blind eye to the way Illyrian females are treated even though one of them is his mates best friend.

Rowan:

•I honestly will never understand the hype around him. He is one of my least favorite male characters out of all of the SJM books.

•He didn’t deserve to have the blood oath from Aelin first. That is something I will stand on until my last breath.

•He is supposed to be all about like tough love or whatever but like he’s a massive fucking prick. People just sugarcoat it. Like yea he has hundreds of years of experience on Aelin but she’s also a fucking badass all on her own.

Now onto all the men I adore.

Az:

•Even though we don’t see much of him. He stood up tamlin when he made that comment about Feyre.

•He consistently tries to save women and I think that if he had a different job that wasn’t just spymaster that he would have fixed all the issues in the Illyrian camps.

•Why doesn’t anyone ever seem to care about him? He literally tortures people and you know that has to be triggering given his past?

Tamlin:

•He was frantic to save the women he loves. Especially after someone who has repeatedly shown the world he is evil and cruel spins her into a bargain.

•Wanted to give Feyre a life she wasn’t able to have on the other side of the wall. Even made sure her family was taken care of which is something Rhysand didn’t really do. Though I know that he turned around and then made them unsafe but still.

•Didn’t want Feyre put into harms way. I’m just really wanting a redemption arc for him okay.

Choal:

•THIS MAN HAD REAL HUMAN EMOTIONS AND GOT SHAMED FOR THEM WTF?

•I heard all the hate for him before reading the books and I kept waiting to see why everyone hated him and it never happened. He just did what he thought was right throughout the series.

•He didn’t deserve all the hate for what happened to Nehemia either. Like she was a two faced snake and he was JUST DOING WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS RIGHT.

Dorian:

•That boy deserved so much better.

•He didn’t deserve the way Manon talked to him or the way people constantly dismissed him.

•He went through some very traumatic experiences and no one really truly cared except for Chaol.

Aedion:

•I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed when he talked about how he couldn’t wait to be Aelins one and only blood sworn. Just for her to turn around and dismiss him wanting that like it was just a speck of dust.

•That meant everything to him but she turned around and gave it to grumpy grandpa instead?

•Then proceeded to just kinda throw it at him like a little bone at the very end of KOA?

•Also he did not deserve for Lysandra and Aelin to treat him the way they did. He had so much of himself taken away and they were really going to take that away as well?

•It was supposed to be him and Aelin against the world but she shows up with grumpy grandpa and just kinda pushes him aside like he hasn’t been living and holding out hope for her return.

Sartaq:

•He was a respectful, loyal, badass, woman loving, warrior who deserved way more story time in KOA than he got.

•We deserved to see so much more of how he could lead and the way that he and Nesryn would become an absolute fucking force to be reckoned with.

•He never balked at Nesryn being a badass. He was very patient with her and admired her dearly. He was the MAN of the series.

at this point i'm wondering what sarah is thinking when writing her love interests, like ok it's clear she finds them hot but like....are they good people

Rhys:

UTM lap dance shenanigans

throwing Feyre into danger constantly (Weaver, destroying cauldron, getting the book from Adriata, etc etc)

Still not doing jack shit about wing clippings in Illyria?? Emerie is right there, Rhysand, go enforce your damn laws

Insulting his wife's sister constantly

Almost killed his wife's sister cause she dared give her important medical information

Locked Lucien (MY BOY!!) in the house of wind

Locked Nesta in the house of wind

Didn't give Mor any warning that time he made her face her abusers and she cried i think (ngl i forgot most of it)

Ignoring Hewn City even tho...Kier is like the only bad guy we've seen from there?? Surely there's decent people in Hewn City, don't gotta make everyone suffer

Nesta windhaven kidnapping intervention so she stops spending Rhys' money (if it was really about her own sake, they would've put a stop to it much earlier)

Seemingly alienates everyone in Feyre's life that could and would stand up to Rhys for Feyre's sake. Lucien? Nah, shoo. Nesta? Nah, shoo. Weird thought but Tarquin? Yeah, makes her steal his book.

And last but DEFINITELY not least; demon baby wife death

HE COULD'VE TOLD FEYRE... OR ATLEAST NOT THREATENED TO KILL HER SISTER FOR TELLING HER WHEN HE HOULD'VE TOLD HER IN THE FIRST PLACE??

THERE'S PROBABLY MORE BUT MOVING ON

Cassian:

Barely ever stands up for Nesta in the IC

Aids in kidnapping Nesta to Windhaven so she stops spending whysand's money

Laughs at Nesta when she falls down the stairs

Aids in punishing Nesta for daring to tell Feyre important medical info

Constantly going agaisnt Nesta's wishes and trying to "save her" when she doesn't want him to

That one time Azriel asked Nesta if Cass had pushed her down the stairs...Like are we gonna ignore that?? Personally I'd have a quarter life crisis if my closest friend, who is like my sibling and has known me most of our lives, seriously entertained the idea that i would physically assault the girl I like

general aggressiveness all of ACOSF

aids in bulldozing Nesta's apartment

Rowan goddamn Whitehorn (Who I've yet to see people bashing him somehow,,, HoF rowan was like if ACOSF cassian had a horrific murder baby

Left his pregnant mate alone during a war cause he wanted to prove himself....like..idk man if i had the choice between war and taking care of my pregnant wife i'd pick the wife (did he know she was pregnant? i've kind of forgotten by now)

Rowan's kid would've been hundreds of years older than Aelin.....just think abt that

Literally everything he did to Aelin during training in HoF

Their argument where he PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE

Threatened to whip Aelin...I repeat....Threatened to whip Aelin, an ex-slave....

Told Aelin it'd be better if she died 10 years ago (unprovoked?? bitch you met her like 2 weeks ago just cause she's getting on your nerves doesn't mean you gotta wish DEATH upon her)

Literally was relieved to find out she was only 19 because if she was a few years older she could've been THE CHILD OF HIS BEST FRIEND.

No issue with marrying the cousin of his best friend's child....Imagine if he hadn't met Aelin first.. If he'd met Aedion first, Aelin would've always been the relative of his friend's son to him

FOR THE RECORD i hate all of the SJM age gaps but rowan and aelin's specifically irks me because Aelin LITERALLY CALLS HIM OLD throughout the WHOLE SERIES

Literally tells Aelin he doesn't care about what she's been through and that she is nothing to him after she confronts him for leaving her

Puts Luca in danger by sticking him on to a frozen lake with a monster inside where he'll DIE if Aelin can't save him

Funnily enough, some of the only seemingly decent person guys in SJM 1. Are completely forgotten about in the books or 2. SJM had to make them violently unlikeable

Like we've got:

Tarquin, seemed like a pretty good guy, rightfully pissed that the IC stole his family heirloom, shows up like twice in the books (LET HIM COME BACK SARAH I LOVE HIM)

Tamlin, was pretty decent in book 1, was made violently unlikeable in book 2 onwards

Chaol, very strong morals, generally a good person, loves his wife, made violently unlikeable and boring in late CoM, HoF, and QoS (ToD is one of my favorite books in the series, will praise ToD till the day I die, my boy EARNED his own book)

Aedion, seemed like a good person, strong morals, spent years trading his dignity for the sake of Terrasen, loved his cousin above all else, made violently unlikable in KoA (even tho I think he was justified in being angry about it, i'd be SO pissed)

Sartaq, good guy, strong morals, Nesryn's chapters were some of my favorites in ToD, Sartaq is one of my favorite SJM love interests, i'll never forgive author lady for forgetting about him in KoA (tho i guess she forgot about everyone from ToD? Yrene and Chaol are the only important ones, she barely even mentions Nesryn even though Nesryn's BEEN an integral part of the gang since QoS, giving her the Suki from ATLA treatment)

[hyunfilms]

all for nothing | two.

♡ series masterlist | spotify playlist

—summary: after experiencing heartbreak and betrayal, hyunjin has become incredibly closed off and reserved. he hated opening up to people, nor did he think the time or effort was worth it. but when hyunjin meets you, he finally realizes the importance of having someone by your side throughout all the ups and downs of life.

—pairing: hyunjin x f. reader

—genre: (18+) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 3.8k

—chapter warnings: hyunjin is still mean as heck but oc is really trying here!! 🥲 mentions of blood but for research/lab purposes, special appearance by jung hoseok as oc’s older brother because i just had to 🤧 oc is a bit worried about some family issues that were brought to light

"Y/N!" Jeongin says, coming towards you as he enters Dr. Kuo's classroom. "What's up?" He smiles as he settles into the seat next to you.

"Jeongin, hi." You chuckle. "Nothing really, already tired from the week though."

"Yeah, same." He brings out his notebook and textbook.

"I heard Dr. Kuo was assigning us our first project."

"Already?"

"She doesn't wait for anyone. Can't say I'm surprised." He pushes his glasses up before looking back at you. "Wanna be partners?" You nod.

"Yeah, that'd be good." At this moment, Hyunjin walks in, shortly followed by Dr. Kuo. You look at him through your peripherals, noting that he sits in the same seat towards the back. Dr. Kuo does her usual class greeting before taking out a stack of papers and setting up her powerpoint presentation for the day.

"Alright, class. Before we get into our lecture for today, I'm going to assign you your first project of the semester. It won't be due right away, but I'm assigning it now to give you a couple of weeks to work on it so that you can deliver a solid project to me." She starts to pass out the guidelines for said project. "Yes, you will be needing a partner for this. However—" You and Jeongin look at each other. "I will be assigning your partners." She earns a couple of heavy sighs from the class. "Please, this is a good opportunity to get to know your classmates. You guys will be working together on a lot of different things during your grad journey here at Brigham. Might as well start now."

"Crap." Jeongin says. "Well, I just hope we get partners that are easy to work with."

"Same." You whisper back. Dr. Kuo starts to go through the roster, assigning people one by one just by random. She doesn't call out for you or Jeongin just yet, which gives you some sort of comfort, until—

"Y/N, you'll be paired up with—" She pauses for a moment and you're praying she calls Jeongin's name. "—Hyunjin." It's as almost if Jeongin senses your body language shifting, catches when you let out a breath and look down at your notebook without saying a word.

"Hey, I'm sure you guys will do great together."

"Too bad he hates me, Jeongin." You whisper back, slightly looking over your shoulder to see Hyunjin glance at you before slouching even more in his seat. The annoyance was radiating off of his body. It was going to be a long ass project.

"What, you guys don't even know each other?" He chuckles a bit, confused. "Is this why you were looking at him yesterday?"

"I ran into him after I left lab. Like, literally. Made him drop the packs of plastic pipettes and paper towels. I tried to help but he snatched it from the floor and told me to watch where I'm going next time." Jeongin chuckles a bit.

"I'm sure it was just an off day. He shouldn't have responded that way, but I'm sure he doesn't hate you. You just need to get the project done and then that's it. If worst comes to worst, just plan your part and have him do the rest."

"Jeongin." You slightly whine. "Can't we just switch?" You look at his partner, another male seated a couple of seats away from him, before leaning back in yours.

"I mean you can try asking Dr. Kuo, but I don't think she'll budge—"

"Alright, I think that's everyone. After the lecture today, I'll give you some time to get acquainted with your partners. And please, don't ask for any switches. I promise everything will be fine if you just work it out amongst yourselves." She says, clicking onto the first slide. "Okay, let's get started with the lecture, shall we?"

"Welp." You look at Jeongin and all he does is shrug.

"It'll be fine." He repeats to reassure you somehow. And it works for a bit, because you can tell Jeongin genuinely means it. He's right, too. If it doesn't go as planned, you can always do one part and Hyunjin can do the other. Minimal contact.

It's fine.

Everything's fine.

When Dr. Kuo finishes her lecture for the day, the class splits to meet with their partners. Yeonjun, Jeongin's partner, sits in the free seat on his other side, while you turn to look at Hyunjin to see if he's coming.

He doesn't move.

"Okay, I guess I have to go to him." You say, packing up your things to move to the back row.

"Goodluck. Tell me how it goes later." Jeongin says, with Yeonjun waving at you. You give them a small smile before you lazily drag yourself to the free seat next to Hyunjin and awkwardly sit next to him. "Um, hey." He looks at you and sighs, continuing to scribble in his notebook. "By the way, now that we're partners, I just wanna say that last night was uncalled for." You blurt out, already tired of his attitude.

"Uncalled for? You ran into me." He looks at you. "What's so wrong about telling you to watch where you're going? Least you'll be more careful next time."

"You didn't have to be so mean about it."

"Ever thought that.. maybe.. I'm not mean, and it's probably just you?"

"You're definitely mean."

"You don't know me." You stare at him with furrowed brows before he scoffs and shakes his head. "Yeah. Anyways. How about we just get this over with? The quicker we finish this project, the less we have to be in each other's hair."

"When are you free later so we can brainstorm and jot down some ideas?"

"I have to work."

"Well, so do I." He shakes his head and subtly rolls his eyes.

"8."

"Good with me." You pass your notebook over to him. "Wanna write your number so I can find out where you're at by then?"

"Not really." He says, taking your notebook anyway to scribble down his number messily. He quickly scans over the colored notes that you take, subtly shaking his head at the colors your rotate between. How do you even have the time to do this?

"Thanks." He simply nods before watching you take your things and settle back into your seat next to Jeongin.

"What happened?" He chuckles, surprised to see you back at your seat already. "Acquainted with your partner already?"

"Very much so." You sigh. "We're just gonna meet later to brainstorm some ideas."

"Progress. He actually agreed to meet with you."

"He has to meet with me or else we're going to get nowhere for the project."

"Well, he doesn't have to. He could've just told you to do your part while he does his." Yeonjun adds, while Jeongin nods in agreement.

"Yeah, who knows, might have to. Let's see if he actually shows up." You start to jot down some ideas anyway, re-reading the guidelines as you get a head start. To be quite honest, you weren't looking forward to tonight. You wished you could go home and relax after work, but you knew it would be wise to at least get started on the project instead of rushing through it. Being partners with Hyunjin was the cherry on top, and although he was right— you didn't know him and he didn't know you either— he was still intimidating. You didn't get scared or intimidated often, but it was something about Hyunjin, something about your encounter, that made it feel impossible to get through to him.

But it was fine, you weren't here to do so. You'd be his partner, the bare minimum.

That was it.

You had some breaks in between classes today, most of which you spent in the library with either Jeongin, Changbin, Felix. Before work, you had an opportunity to grab a small bite before heading into the lab to do some work with Dr. Kreher. He talks about his undergraduate class and how quiet and intimidated they were, causing you to giggle because you had been there before. It's not that Dr. Kreher was a difficult-to-please teacher, but he definitely taught through tough love. No phones in class was probably the strictest rule he had in place, but it was the fact that he would put students under the spotlight, asking them detailed questions and expecting detailed, out-of-the-box answers in return that would throw them off. It's not like he'd let you off the hook either when you responded with an 'I don't know;' he'd let you sit on it and think about it until you could give him a better answer. He laughs when you point this out to him, giving it a reason as to why his students were probably acting that way. He says it's to lessen the hand-holding, especially when you get out into the real world— not everyone would be willing to do so and you'd have to find your own way through to the correct answer, the correct action to take. It's not about being right or wrong, it was moreso learning how to take that leap and to be okay with making mistakes. Afterall, it only helps you learn from your mistakes in order to grow.

"Mm, yeah. They'll eventually get used to your teaching style. I'll be walking proof if they need it." He laughs as he cleans under the hood next to yours.

"Hey, by the way, I don't want you staying to late to work, okay? I know we agreed on making things work in between your schedule, but I also want you to give yourself some time for yourself."

"Yeah, I know." You quickly look at him with a nod. "I do have to run as soon as this is done, I have to meet up with a partner to start working on Dr. Kuo's project."

"Project already, eh?"

"Surprise, surprise." You say sarcastically. "I'm really dreading it."

"Why?"

"My partner hates me."

"I'm sure that's not the case." He says. "Who is your partner?"

"Hyunjin."

"Hwang?" You look at Dr. Kreher and nod. "Oh, I know that kid. He works with Dr. Costas on her coral reef research." He chuckles a bit. "Hardworking kid. Quiet, but he's got a gentle vibe to him."

"Gentle? He practically wanted me gone last night when I accidentally ran into him and made him drop his things."

"Ah, I'm sure that isn't the case, Y/N." He chuckles, fixing the blood stain on his slide so he can take it to the microscope. "Might have hit a nerve after a long day, but definitely doesn't hold it against you. He doesn't seem to hang around many people and keeps to himself. He probably just.." He shrugs. "Is like that, you know? Can't really explain it. But the times I've talked to him, he seemed like a nice boy."

You give off a laugh and shrug. "Sure. Still can't say I'm not dreading our meeting later."

"Give it some time. He'll warm up to you. You guys will do great on your project." He chuckles, allowing the silence to settle in so that the two of you could finish the lab work quickly.

By the time you complete your tasks and clean up, it's closing in to 8PM, but you have enough time to run to the café to grab a little bite before heading to the library. You find an empty desk near the back corner of the library, the library itself not to capacity as you had expected it to be. You shoot Hyunjin a quick text to let him know where you're located, but no response.

Close to 10 mins?

No response.

You huffed in your seat, getting worried at the fact that your partner probably wasn't going to show up, nor did it seem like he was going to update you on his whereabouts. Did he think that was truly okay? Was he even okay? Did he think—

"Oh." You say when Hyunjin finally appears in front of you, silently dragging the seat out and setting his bag ontop of the table. "You're here." He looks at you with a slightly furrowed expression, even as you let out a sigh of relief.

"We agreed to meet, didn't we?"

"It's 8:13pm."

"Don't remember asking for the time."

"You could have at least told me you'd be late. I was about to leave because I didn't think you'd show."

"But you didn't. And I'm here, so what's the point of this?" He scoffs, annoyed already at the interaction. "I just got caught up with stuff at work. I don't think I need to give you a play by play."

"Are you like this with every partner you work with?"

"Only to ones that don't know how to stay in their lane." He fires back, slipping his laptop out. But you had no response to that. And you're not gonna lie, your feelings were hurt especially since you were busy worrying about whether or not he was okay. You felt embarrassed, heat rising to the surface of your cheeks; almost like you wanted to grab your things and run the fuck up out of this library.

But, no.

You weren't gonna let him get to you like that.

You didn't do anything wrong.

"Yeah, well. I was slightly getting worried because you didn't say anything." He briefly shoots you a look as you silently flip the page in your notebook, surprised that you were even getting worried over him.

"Let's get this over with."

"I, um, jotted down a few things." You say, clearing your throat. "A few ideas." You turn your notebook towards him, explaining line by line with some details. He doesn't really show interest in anything you're saying, so it's hard for you to gauge whether or not any of these would work. At the end, he simply purses his lips and turns his laptop towards you, showing you the two ideas he was able to come up with. He dives into his thinking process behind the two ideas, careful not to go overboard or say too much. You're impressed though, especially when the second idea focuses on infectious diseases and things similar to the work you've been doing with Dr. Kreher. How he came up with this on the spot, you had no idea, but you weren't gonna question it. When he's done, he doesn't really look at you. He turns his laptop back towards himself, sinking a bit more into his seat.

"That's all I have." He finishes off.

"I think we should go with your second idea." He shrugs.

"Alright then."

"Dr. Kreher might be able to help us out." He nods.

"Sure, could be helpful." Is all he says. You take note of the idea in a shared document on your own laptop with Hyunjin, writing notes and things you need to obtain in order to get the project going. While he adds to the list, you watch as he grimaces to himself, his hand falling over his stomach. You shake off the need to ask if he's alright, but part of you feels bad that he seems uncomfortable. You lick your lips, continuing to type away at your laptop while Hyunjin shifts in his seat as he finishes whatever he's adding to your project document.

"Did you eat?"

"No but it's whatever." He sighs before looking at you and shutting his laptop close. "Are we done here?"

"I guess so." You shrug. "I can ask Dr. Kreher how to get started. He might be able to get us some of the supplies. I'll keep you updated?"

"Yeah. Just let me know what I need to do." He packs up his things.

"Would you be able to meet last minute on certain days?"

"If I really need to. Don't necessarily like to, though."

"But, it's for the project."

"Mhm." Is all he says. "See ya." He gestures before slinging his bag strap over his shoulder, turning on his heel to walk out of the library. You stay behind a bit to finish up the last of your notes and the remainder of the homework you were able to start in class before packing up and heading out.

"Y/N!" Felix calls for you as he sees you crossing across campus from the library. "Wait up!" You stop and smile at him, tugging on your strap as you watch him jog over. "Hey." He smiles.

"Hey there. Were you in class?"

"I was actually with a study group, working on this assignment we have due at the end of the week." He slowly walks alongside of you. "Did you come from the library?"

"Mhm. Worked on the beginning stages of our first research project."

"Ah, wait. Is this with that Hyunjin guy?"

"Mhm." You look at him before letting out a small sigh.

"Jeongin might have mentioned a thing or two. How did it go?"

"Okay, I guess? He's kinda hard to talk to. Our meeting didn't last that long, but we at least settled on a topic."

"Progress, right?"

"I guess so. I'm just not sure how the entire project will go if he's going to keep me closed off like that."

"Did you try switching partners?"

"No can do. Was already hoping I could switch to work with Jeongin."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. He'll warm up to you, give it time. If not, then that's his loss." He smiles softly at you, you returning the favor as you tilt your head to the side and look at him. The walk with Felix becomes quiet for a second, so you take the opportunity to look out at the campus ahead of you. Not too many students were lingering around anymore, not even in the café. However, there was one person who caught your attention again—

Hyunjin.

He manages to grab the last slice of pizza they were selling, plus a drink. He sits himself down at an empty table and scarfs his food down like no tomorrow and it makes you feel bad. Had he gone all day without eating much? Was he not making enough time for himself?

Maybe you should bring him some food next meeting.

Maybe he'll warm up to you.

Maybe he'll see that you're trying to make things work— project partners, friends, whatever.

Maybe he'll see that you're genuine.

"Did you hear about the fair the school is hosting on campus next week?" Felix breaks the silence and looks you in the eyes.

"Oh yeah, I saw the flyer earlier today in passing."

"Wanna go?"

"I want to. Depends on if I meet with Hyunjin or not."

"You can always meet before or after." You chuckle.

"Only if it was that easy, right?"

"I'm sure you'll have time." He licks his lips. "Come. I want you to be there."

"Okay." You nod, agreeing to this so-called fair without even knowing what work and your school schedule had in store for you next week. Hopefully, you actually had the time.

When you and Felix reach the parking lot, he parts ways with you and bids you goodnight. He waits until you get into your car and drive off before he gets himself settled onto his bike. The drive home is always lonely, the street you live on is always so quiet. Although you appreciate it more than anything, it would be nice to have company nearby from time to time. Your family wasn't far, but it also wasn't an easy drive back home. Coming home to a cold, empty in-law and a quiet street with no one to greet you after a long day— you missed them the most at this time.

"Hello?" You plop onto your bed when a call from your older brother comes through.

"Yo! Are you home little one?" You shake your head and chuckle at Hoseok's tone, always so loud and energetic no matter the time of day.

"Just touched down actually."

"Long day?"

"A bit, yeah."

"You better be resting in between school and work."

"I'll rest when all of this is over."

"Shut up." He laughs. "I just called to check up on you, especially when mom came at me saying I don't care enough about you."

"You don't." You joke. Your brother definitely cared a lot about you. He was your protector, your guardian, your safety blanket. He had been busy as a clothing designer, dropping his original plans to open his own small shop in town, but he always made sure to make time for you, the family. Never forgetting where he came from. Your family's journey wasn't easy, yet your brother's was the most influential to you. You only hoped he truly knew how much he meant to you.

"Don't say things like that."

"Kidding. I know you do." He chuckles a bit.

"Did you eat?"

"Yeah." You hit the speakerphone button so you can start getting ready for bed.

"Why do you sound like that?" He chuckles.

"We got assigned our first project and my partner fucking hates my guts." You repeat the story even though time and time again, people have told you they thought otherwise. You couldn't help it.

"Y/N, I'm positive he doesn't hate you."

"We'll see." You say.

"Don't stress. It'll turn out fine. You just started, okay? You're doing well. It's only up from here."

"Thank you." You simply respond. "How's mama and papa?"

"They're alright, just working day in and day out at the bakery."

"You should be helping me by telling them to rest more."

"I do. They don't listen." He sighs. "Which brings me to what I also wanted to call you about." You hear a door shut in the background. "Papa was super exhausted the other day."

"W-what?" You pause, the worry taking over your entire body.

"Look, I don't want you to worry. He was fine, just needed a minute to catch his breath."

"How can I not worry?"

"I'm here, aren't I? I promise I'll make sure it's nothing more."

"He's never been like that, you know?"

"It's been hotter and the bakery has been booming lately."

"Hoseok, I'll literally drive down right now—"

"No, I've got a handle on it. Seriously. Don't worry." He reassures you. "I'll split up my work and have my assistant help me out so I can be more present at the bakery."

"You swear?"

"Yes."

"Okay." You sigh. "If you need anything though, please just let me know. I'll get there."

"I know. I can always count on you." You can feel him smiling through the phone. "But I got it from here. You just focus on school and work, alright? It'll be fine."

"Okay. Make sure mom gets some rest too."

"Yeah, I made them go to bed early. Gonna go clean up the kitchen after the call." You nod, as if Hoseok can see you.

"Well, thanks for calling. I'm not sure when I'll be able to pop in, but I'm hoping soon."

"Don't worry baby sis, you know your family's always gonna be right here." You smile. "Get some rest. I love you."

"You too, punk. I love you." You respond, smiling as you put the phone down. You take a minute to process the information you were given. Although you trusted your brother and you knew he could take care of your family well, it still didn't stop the worry from seeping in. Your father had always been such a hardworker, taking on more than he should and never making his problems anyone else's problems. The bakery was indeed becoming one of the most popular bakeries on Oahu, many natives and tourists coming to pop in day in and day out. Part of you felt a little guilty that you were here, finishing up your grad program while your family was working day in and day out. You wished you had more time to help. But, you knew once this was all over, you'd be more present. You and your brother would be able to provide for your family and they could finally rest.

Just a little more, you remind yourself.

Push through.

♡ taglist: @lotus-dly​ @hyunk1ss @sstarryoong​ @laylasbunbunny​ @azeret98​ @peterballardsgf @taeriffic​ @nattisbored​ [bold = couldn’t tag!]

[mypoisonedvine]

𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭-𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 || helmut zemo, bucky barnes and sam wilson x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : your sugar daddy boyfriend is finally out of prison and he brought a few friends to show you off to.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : just over 4k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : smut (foursome/group sex, oral m receiving, spitroast; sliiiight dubcon???), established zemo x reader, sugar daddy relationship, ‘sir’ kink, ‘daddy’ kink, pussy spanking, one regular spank, orgasm control, overstimulation, creampie, a bit of cockwarming, exhibitionism, possessiveness (kinda? but also not at all lmao it’s hard to explain), a bit of degradation but plenty of praise as well, subtle cuckolding but without the usual power dynamics there, shitty reconstructed “sokovian” (I wrote it in the latin alphabet but the cyrillic and translations are at the end), unexpected and unnecessary fluff, very subtle angst (basically all in a flashback anyways)

                  You were needlessly anxious as you waited for him to arrive.  It had been your own idea to wait in the jet, and yet you spent every other second glancing out the tiny window, desperate for a glance of the man you missed so dearly.

If someone had told you all those years ago, when this arrangement first began, how easily he would have you wrapped around his finger… you couldn’t have believed them.  It’s just about the money, you would’ve told them, but you would’ve been impossibly wrong.

For a lot of women in this sort of situation, it really was just about the money; likewise, for a lot of men in his situation, it was just about the sex.  But the two of you had something entirely unique, nearly indescribable in fact, that very few could ever understand.  In the beginning it became clear to you that he was more in need of a companion than a lover or girlfriend, specifically.  He was still grieving his wife, still devoted to her completely, but lonely right to his core… angry, even, at the prospect of a life without his family.  You were a shoulder to cry on, first and foremost.

You thought maybe he enjoyed spending money on you because it was his way to protect you, in a way he felt he had failed to protect his family before.

And it was you that fell for him first, for his passion and his kindness before his riches or looks.  Just when you feared that he’d only ever see you as a status symbol or dress-up doll, he returned your affections in spite of his guilt at first and the two of you were inseparable ever since.

Except, of course, when you were separated, and he was imprisoned, and you were left on your own again.  Not that spending his money wasn’t fun or anything, but his loneliness was more sympathetic with each night you spent in that massive bed by yourself, wanting just to feel the warmth of him beside you again.

So, it should be understandable why you were so on edge in anticipation of his arrival.  Your painted fingernails toyed with the hem of the dress you remembered he liked on you most— the silk one that barely covered your legs and was only held up by absurdly thin straps crossing at your back.

The night he bought it for you was clear in your mind like it was only yesterday; his voice in your ear telling you how he couldn’t resist taking such a thoughtful, intelligent woman like yourself and dressing you up like a mindless drolja… or ‘slut’ as it might be said in English.  Just remembering the way he said things like that sent a shiver down your spine as strong as really hearing it, your thighs clenching together on top of the plush leather seat.

Just as you thought you might go crazy waiting for him, you saw the car pull up— your Helmut at the wheel and his two associates in tow— and your heart soared.

Longer than all the years apart combined was the minute you spent waiting to descend the jet’s staircase, hoping to meet him on the taxiway at the exact right moment.  You made sure the jewelry around your wrists and neck was laying just right before finally making your appearance.

The way he looked up at you as you started to walk down towards him… it wasn’t so different from the way he’d looked at you through the glass for the past few years, really, but it felt different.  He certainly looked different to you, without the prisoner’s uniform and looking rather imposing with that massive coat instead.

You were careful to still walk slowly, since you were wearing stilettos and all, even when you wanted more than anything to run to him and jump into his arms.  Instead, you came face to face with him, loving that confident smirk which never seemed to leave his expression, and slipped your arms around his fur-adorned neck.

“Dobrodošla nazad, ljubavi,” you hummed, pressing your lips to his and almost letting out a squeal of surprise when he immediately slipped his tongue into your mouth, kissing you aggressively as his gloved hands gripped you at the waist.

He was rarely so bold, but then again he had been alone in prison for so long with only your words to try to satisfy him.  As much as you cherished being in his arms again, you also got the impression that this wasn’t just about making up for lost time— if that were true, he would’ve skipped the kiss entirely and taken you in the back of his car the moment he saw you.  No, this was a show of dominance, and not only for your benefit; that was clear when one of the men with him cleared his throat loudly and Helmut still didn’t stop.  

But that was very much like him: he was never finished with you until he was satisfied, and not a moment sooner.  His power over you was so effortless because you didn’t mind at all being his plaything… so much so that it was you leaning in for more when he pulled back, making him laugh softly.

“Did you miss me, lutka?” he purred, and you nodded as you bit your lip slightly.

“Always, Helmut,” you nodded, finally taking a moment to look away from him and at the visibly uncomfortable men at his side.  “I heard you freed him,” you said to the man you knew to be James Barnes, “thank you.”

“I’m still not over that,” the other— Sam, as you’d heard— added with a scoff.

“Come on, darling, let’s board the jet and we can talk there,” Helmut suggested, and you nodded as you turned to let them follow.

Of course, you couldn’t be totally sure, but you were pretty confident you could feel three pairs of eyes on your ass as you climbed the stairs.  Honestly, with how short the dress was, there was a risk of your thong being exposed as well, exactly the sort of almost-subtle teasing your Baron loved the most.

Once inside, Helmut showed James and Sam to their seats, and took his own as he instantly pulled you into his lap.  You caught the other two men glancing to the empty fourth seat, knowing there was plenty of room for you two to stay apart, but could they really blame you after how long you’d been alone?

Throughout the takeoff, one of his strong hands rested comfortably on your crossed legs as the other held his glass of champagne, and Sam’s gaze was attached to the way his thumb gently stroked your thigh while James seemed to be doing his best to look literally anywhere else.

“I noticed you haven’t introduced us to your… friend…” Sam trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh, yes,” Helmut chuckled as if he actually forgot, “this is the woman who has been managing my estate in my unfortunate absence.”

“You’re trying to tell us this is your accountant?” James grumbled.

“She’s also my lover,” Helmut relented.

“Obviously,” Sam replied, unamused.

“She’s beautiful, no?” Helmut prompted as he ran his fingertips higher up your thigh, only glancing at the other men as he focused mainly on nuzzling against your neck. 

“Yeah, the finest money can buy,” Sam quipped, earning a cold glare from you and your man.  

“Are you with me for my money, draga?” Helmut asked you quietly as he planted a gentle kiss to the spot right where your neck met your shoulder.  You smiled and shook your head, staring right at Sam’s nervous expression.

“No, sir,” you answered aloud, and the title clearly made both of the other men uncomfortable… if, perhaps, in different ways.

“Uncross your legs,” he demanded, though his tone was still soft, and you obeyed right away as he started to lightly move his touch between your thighs.

James began adjusting in his seat and never really stopped, tugging at his jeans in an obvious attempt to conceal the growing bulge between his legs, but you only laughed at his clear embarrassment.

“See how respectful she is?” he cooed his praise, addressing the other men but keeping his eyes on you.  “I know exactly the words to make her obey to my every whim… James, you and her share that quality.”

The man sneered as you suppressed a giggle, squirming in Helmut’s lap impatiently.

“She’s loyal, too, unendingly dedicated,” he continued.  “You know she visited me weekly in Munich, at the very least?  Always by my side… like any good pet.”

A whimper escaped your throat at that term, your gut burning with need as he balanced praise and degradation effortlessly.  You didn’t find it truly demeaning only because you loved being his plaything so much, and because you knew mutual respect was at the core of your relationship with him.  But, still, it was nice to feel small when he was there to keep you safe.

James watched with a small snarl and Helmut slipped his hand into your panties, and Sam licked his lips but shifted his stare to your face instead, just as your eyes started to roll back and your head fell weakly on Helmut’s shoulder.

“And such a precious little pussy as well,” he added darkly, giving you a spank between your legs to make you choke on a squeal.  “Sweet, delicate… much like a Turkish delight, but even more addictive.”

“Please, sir,” you whispered under your breath.

“You want more, don’t you?  Tako očajno…” he chuckled.  You nodded, already starting to soak through the lace and rock your hips.  “You want to be fucked, yes?”

“Yes,” you moaned.

“Be polite and take care of our guests first, draga,” he encouraged, kissing your neck one more time before releasing you from his embrace.

Although you were most interested in being with the man you loved, you were happy to obey whatever he wished— and, frankly, sinking to your knees on the jet’s carpeted floor to crawl towards James wasn’t exactly lacking in its own appeal.

James’ eyes narrowed as Sam’s widened, and you sat up between the spread, denim-clad thighs as you blinked up at him and licked your lips.

He tensed up slightly as your hands delicately slid up his legs, his Adam's apple bobbing with a dry swallow when you grabbed his belt buckle and began to open it.

“You… you don’t have to…” he mumbled, apparently too distracted to finish his sentence.

“Yes I do,” you denied.  “Because he told me to.”

Sam winced and looked away as you unzipped James’ fly and pulled his jeans and boxers down to expose his cock, already hard and leaking a bit from the tip.  You smiled proudly, but chose not to tease him for his eagerness and instead just get right to work; you gripped him at the base and gave a few kitten licks over his shaft, savoring the taste of his precum and looking up at his expression that was equal parts shocked and sultry.

You only spent a moment suckling on the head before skipping right ahead and deepthroating him all the way to base.

“Oh, fuck,” James choked, reaching up grab the seat behind his head as his back arched, making you want to smile though you thankfully kept it down.

“Well-trained, isn’t she?” Helmut interjected proudly.

“Y-yeah,” he answered, his other hand grabbing your shoulder tightly as you began to bob your head.

Occasionally, in your peripheral, you caught Sam looking, and it made you wiggle your hips with the desire to rub your throbbing clit against the floor.  

You got a chance to breathe whenever you pulled back to suck the head and stroke the rest with your hand, and in a few minutes you had already found all the little spots that made him moan the loudest, or made his legs quiver a bit by your sides.

“Stop,” Helmut instructed, and you were already starting to pull off when James hissed and grabbed your head to hold you down.

“N-no, please,” he blurted out.

“She’ll come back to you but Sam is looking rather lonely in the corner over there,” Helmut explained, and James hesitated but let you go.  You wiped your lips and started to move towards Sam, but he shook his head.

“I don’t roll like that, man,” Sam explained, “I don’t want her doing it just because you said so.”

“Darling, won’t you tell us how badly you want to service your new friends?” Helmut challenged, and you swallowed nervously because you were a bit embarrassed to say too much and potentially anger him.  But the sparkle in his eyes didn’t seem like he was leading you into a trap… even if the other two men were confident that was what it meant.  “You find them attractive, don’t you?”

“Um, yes, sir,” you answered hesitantly, “I… saw them, and I wanted to know what their cocks looked like.  And tasted like.”

Helmut smiled and leaned forward, giving you a spank of approval through your dress (which was riding up to show most of your butt anyways).

You looked at Sam expectantly.  “May I please suck your cock, Mr. Wilson?”

His eyes darkened and you knew you were on the right track.  “What happened to ‘sir’?” he asked coyly.

“I only call Helmut ‘sir,’” you explained, “but I could call you something else.”

His finger curled to encourage you to come closer and you crawled up to sit between his legs.

“Call me ‘daddy,’” he finally instructed, opening his belt and pants for you.

“Yes, daddy,” you nodded, keeping your mouth slack for him to push his cock into.  You hummed as the head slid over your tongue, looking up at him as he bit his lip and thrust back into your throat.

“Shit, that’s good,” he whispered, guiding your head at the speed he wanted.  “Who taught you how to suck cock so good, baby?”

Helmut raised his hand and James snorted.

Sam was a bit longer but he was still no challenge to swallow all the way down, and you heard him breathing through his teeth but let your eyes fall shut to focus on your work.

“Is this… how you treat all your guests?” Sam asked tensely between heavy breaths.

“Only those who are at the right place at the right time,” Helmut answered cryptically, but you happened to know this sort of occasion was incredibly rare.  Although it might seem counterintuitive to some, this was his way to re-stake his claim over you, and after so much time apart apparently he felt he had a lot to prove.  “Keep going, but don’t let him come,” another instruction echoed from behind you.  

You pulled back to stroke Sam’s length while you croaked: “yes, sir.”

Helmut had you go back and forth for a while, keeping both men on edge and occasionally allowing you to stroke one while you sucked the other, your own need growing so quickly as you dreamed to have something inside you, anything really.

Obviously, he knew exactly how much having a cock down your throat made you wet and desperate.  And he knew that such a taboo act of, in a certain sense, breaking fidelity with a man as he not only watched but commanded you to do it would get you right on the edge in no time.

He had gotten in your head so quickly after meeting you, memorized everything that made you tick, and not once had he forgotten.  

“I-I’m close,” James warned as you sucked his head, making you slide the tip of your tongue over his slit before you took a break to suck his swollen balls into your mouth.  “Fuck, can I come?”

“Not yet,” Helmut instructed sternly.

You felt him tug you back and into his lap suddenly, and he quickly yanked your dress down to expose your breasts to the men in front of you.

“Her tits are hard, no?” Helmut prompted them, and you watched them both nod as a warm hand reached around from behind you to tweak your hardened nipples.  “Yes, she really loves to get on her knees and choke on cock.  I’d let her do the same to me but I have greater plans for her…”

As if it weren’t obvious what those plans were, he pulled your skirt up to your waist as well, spreading your legs and pulling your flimsy panties aside.  

“Is she wet?” he asked the men and they nodded again.

“Drenched,” Sam chimed in.

Helmut gave another spank to your clit as you shuddered, then rubbing slowly as if to soothe the sting.  “I’ll teach you what happens when you get wet for another man, little girl,” Helmut growled against your ear, “not to mention two.  And they’re Americans, do you have no shame?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” you whispered.

“No, you have nothing to be sorry for,” he corrected.  “I love seeing you act like a whore all for me.”

You hadn’t even realized he’d taken his cock out of his trousers until you felt the thick tip of him prodding at your entrance.  It was already a lot just by itself, but then you had these strangers staring at you and for some reason it only turned you on more.

That ‘some’ reason of course being that you loved your Baron taking ownership over you for anyone to see.  Clearly, prison had given him much more creative ideas than just fucking on a balcony or against the glass of a window.  

“Are you ready for me?” he asked in a hushed voice against your skin which seemed to be burning hot all of a sudden.  

“Yes, sir,” you whispered.

It took a lot not to cry out as he pulled you down and filled you in one deep stroke, your nails digging into the leather of the chair’s armrests at either side.  But more than the sting of pain it felt so perfect, so fundamentally right, and just after your gasp of shock was a sigh of relief.

He sighed along with you and let his forehead fall between your shoulder blades, clearly a bit overwhelmed at being inside you again for the first time in so long.  “Draga...” he breathed, “not that I ever doubted… but you must have been faithful to me; you’re so tight, I know no one has touched you since I left.”

“Only you, sir, nobody but you,” you agreed breathlessly, eyes falling shut.  

He kissed your back as he started to move your body on top of his, the hands at your waist tightening and tugging on the remaining fabric of your dress.  “Tako dobro,” he hissed, “you feel so good, darling, you can’t imagine how long I spent dreaming of being inside you again.”

A tear rolled down your cheek, and it would be impossible to say for sure what caused it— a little bit of everything, really.  

Opening your eyes and noticing the way they were staring at you, you leaned forward and took each of the other men’s hard cocks in your hands, stroking in time with the way you bounced your hips on top of Helmut’s.

The both of them had been on the edge for a bit too long, Sam already biting his lip as James thrust himself up into your palm.

“Fuck, please,” James moaned, “I need to come in your mouth.”

“Come closer then,” you breathed, watching him stand up and bring his cock right to your lips which you eagerly gagged on, any pretense long gone as you sloppily sucked and stroked while Helmut thrust up to slam into you.

“Ohh, fuck, that’s it— gonna come,” he grunted as he reached up to press his hand against the ceiling of the jet, and it all must have hit him rather unexpectedly since the moment his musky taste began to coat your tongue, you heard a clanging sound and realized he had pushed up so hard that he bent the steel interior, his other hand tightening into a fist in your hair.

You moaned happily as you swallowed every drop, still sucking even as James’ moans became loud and higher in pitch.

“Fuck, don’t stop, oh god,” he whined, cock throbbing even after he stopped filling your throat with come.  You reached between his legs and squeezed his balls a bit and you could tell his knees nearly buckled, causing him to finally pull back and tilt your chin up to stare down at you.  “You’re somethin’ else,” he panted, taking a moment to catch his breath before falling back and slumping into his chair.

You looked over at Sam and saw his hand was still lazily guiding yours to stroke over his cock although come already painted his abs and dripped down from his swollen head over your fingers.  “Can I clean up your mess, please, daddy?” you asked, voice a bit hoarse though you couldn’t be sure if that was from the deepthroating or just how hard Helmut was fucking you now.

Pulling your hand back, Sam’s eyes followed as you lapped the thick, hot come from your hand, moaning openly at the taste.  You sucked your fingers down into your throat, not leaving a drop behind.

He leaned back in his chair and began to catch his breath, both of them now staring at you with that exhausted, glazed-over expression.  They looked satisfied, and you considered it your reward for a job well done.

"A belly full of come and a pussy full of my cock, you must be feeling ecstatic," Helmut presumed.

"Yes, sir," you agreed quickly.

All at once he began to fuck you faster, harder, deeper which you hadn't even realized was an option.  He growled a string of the filthiest curses in your ear, in Sokovian so the other men wouldn’t understand, with one hand wrapped around your neck as the other pinched your clit almost too roughly.  Even in your native language you could barely understand it: how could you when he was so deep inside you?

“Will you come, draga?” he finally asked, voice rough with his own desperation.

“Not until you let me, sir,” you moaned, and he chuckled a bit.

“Good girl.”

But wow, the way he rubbed your clit was impossible to ignore, like he was trying to make your promise impossible to keep.  You tightened your jaw, moaning through your teeth now as you fought to keep your orgasm at bay.  

“Please sir, I need to come, please— so close, I’m so close,” you mewled.

“I won’t be much longer, either,” he warned.  "Too long without you has taken its toll, I need to finish."

“Inside me, sir, please,” you begged, “come inside me.”

You felt him nod against the back of your neck.  “Come for me,” he instructed simply, and as obedient as ever, you felt your walls pulsing as pleasure overtook you.  Not even meaning to, you threw your head back, and he had to hold you tightly to keep you from shaking too violently as the waves of sensation washed over you.

The heat of him spilling inside you warmed you from the inside out, making you smile happily through the fog of your high and intentionally tighten your walls around him.  He hissed and throbbed within you, his fingers digging into your hips now as he held you down against him.

He gave a few more lazy thrusts until finally slowing to a stop, both of you catching your breath eventually.

"My... accountant will be keeping my cock warm for the remainder of the flight," Helmut informed the other men, "I hope you don't mind?

"No, no, go ahead," James approved as his head fell back against his chair.

It was still quite a ways to your final destination so it wasn't much of a surprise that you ended up falling asleep in the Baron's arms, something you used to do every night that had been only a dream for years.  Perhaps this afternoon wasn't the reunion you expected, but it was somehow even more perfect than you could've ever wished for.

///

dobrodošla nazad, ljubavi = добродошла назад, љубави = “welcome home, love”

lutka = лутка = “doll”

draga = драга = “dear/beloved”

tako očajno = тако очајно = "so desperate"

tako dobro = тако добро = "so good"

[wakanda-nonsense-is-this]

Ghost of You — Epilogue

Masterpage <last Second book>

Pietro Maximoff x fem!Mutant!reader

Warnings: death, The Death, some swear words, ANGST, pain, blood, ghosts, mention of wanting to die.

Word Count: 1829

If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know :)

I want to thank everyone that gave this story a chance. I’m forever grateful for your support.

My whole life I've been surrounded by death. That's probably why I never feared it, why I always welcomed it as an old friend.

It consumed every aspect of my life until it killed me.

Just like that, I died. What a boomer.

If I'm being honest, I really thought I was going to be the exception to death, turns out, I'm just like everybody else. Shocking, I know.

I never thought of death as an inconvenient, after all, those creepy ghosts were all I had. I always figured death would be better than the live I was formerly living. I was fine with that. With my inexistent will to live, until he came around and gave me hope and love no one ever gave me. But since life hates me, I died just before our lives could begin. Like what (and I can not stress this enough) the heck. I was so close to having all I ever wanted and BAM, hello afterlife.

Or that's what I thought, at least.

One second I wasn't and the other I was.

One second I cease to exist and the other I'm here. Not dead, but not quite alive either.

But then... the temperature lowered wherever I was. I stiffed and all thoughts left my mind. I felt the presence somewhere behind me but it was too dark to make anything out, so I waited for it to come closer. And when it did, I was not impressed.

"You're Death?" I stared at the tall man dressed with his face and body hidden under a black cloak incredulously. ''You look so... clich-"

"I manifest differently to each person based on their expectations. In other words: You're the basic bitch, not me." Death stated before I could finish, shutting me up at his explanation. Seems about right.

There was a moment of silence, where only my breathing could be heard. Until he spoke.

"You shouldn't be here." He stated firmly.

"I'm dead, where the hell am I supposed to be if not here?"

"You're not dead."

"What?"

"Your time hasn't come yet Y/n Khalida." He informed me.

"I literally felt my heart stop beating inside my chest. I think that's prove enough." I insisted puzzlingly.

"On no, it did stop. You brought someone back, of course you died. But you're not dead anymore child."

"How is that even possible? The other necromancer-"

"The other necromancer was not the one the prophecy was talking about. That's why she's dead and you, aren't. You didn't trade your life, the way your mother did. You bounded yours to his."

I was too stunned to speak but it didn't matter because a second later everything around us started to disappear as a white light invaded the dark space.

"I'll see you other day, Necromancer Khalida." That was the last thing I heard before the white light consumed me and then, I opened my eyes.

I woke up gasping for air, my lungs aching the moment oxygen filled them. It took me a minute for my eyes to adjust to the bright light of the room and another for my brain to digest what was happening. My eyes traveled around the room I was currently in. I looked down to the new white dress I was wearing and to my bare-feet. In front of the table I was lying down was a mirror. Slowly I stood up and watched myself. I was wearing all white, my hair was gathered in a braid on top of my head and was adorned with small white flowers.

I gasped as the realization hit me. They thought I was dead and I was wearing my funeral clothes. It wasn't until then that I saw a white casket at the other side of the room.

I was tempted to play dead only to see who would cry at my funeral, but as amazing that sounded, my thoughts race toward a certain living boy. With shacking legs I made my way towards the door and stepped outside the room. I could tell I was in the compound but I had no idea where. So I tried my luck and walked straight through the corridors.

Half an hour later I realized that was a mistake when I found nothing. But then I felt a pull to a certain direction and the more I walked the carving on my side began to warm up.

I walked for more minutes until I started hearing voices and recognized my surroundings. I made a turn and found myself face to face with Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson. Who upon seeing me alive and kicking paled 10 tones. But before they could say anything I kept walking while looking at them.

"It's good to see you guys. Now, if you excuse me, there's someone I've got to see."

They said nothing and just stared at me as if they've seen a ghost. I laughed lightly and promised them to explain everything later.

I kept walking and finally reached a room. When Pietro was a ghost I could easily feel his presence anywhere, and at that moment, even though he was no longer dead, I could feel him behind that door.

I took a shaky breath and the moment I opened the door I heard Sam's voice telling me not to open the door but it was too late and now the few people inside stared at me, shock written all over their faces.

There was complete silence as I stared at him and the moment my eyes locked with his blue ones, everything stopped and I froze. He looked just as I remember, a little cleaner and more alive, but that's besides the point.

But there was something different in his eyes, an emotion I had never seen on him before and I didn't know what it meant.

He stared at me speechless, as if this was the first time we had met. The silence was broken by him when in a husky voice murmured:

"Woah she's pretty." His eyes never left mine as he voiced his thoughts. The sound of his voice brought me out of my trance. I took a step towards him and out of the corner of my eye I saw someone walking up to me.

"Piet-"

"Who are you?" Pietro questioned softly, his eyes once again on me. Those eyes, which only a few days ago, held love and warmth, those eyes that held a promise, now gave me a confused look as if... as if he didn't know who I was. "We've never met, have we? I would never forget such a pretty face like yours." He flirted easily.

His words felt like a punch to my stomach as the air was knocked out of my lungs. I looked at the people in the room for an explanation, but was only met with pity.

"Cat got your tongue?" He smirked his signature smirk and I felt like throwing up. This was not my Pietro, I realized. No, my Pietro was dead along with our memories and promises to each other. My Pietro died with me that day in the temple so the old Pietro, who never knew us, could live.

"Nobody." I finally managed to whisper and as I stood in front of him I realized, that maybe I should've stay dead because seeing him and not being able to touch him was the worst form of punishment.

"I'm nobody." I realized as a lonely tear made its way down my cheek. I turned around and left the room as my heart was being shattered into million pieces.

I could hear Wanda and the team's voices calling out to me but I didn't stop. I couldn't.

My necromancer abilities proved themselves again to be out of control the moment ghosts started to fill every single space. I had to get away from there.

Every step I took away from him felt like a stab to my heart, to my lungs, to every part of my body. The pressure in my chest was getting bigger and bigger. It was suffocating me. I was sure if it didn't leave my body I was going to explode. I tried to fight it, I tried, I swear I did, but there was only so much my body could withstand.

I felt to my knees as ghosts surrounded me and I screamed, I screamed like I never have.

One by one all the lights exploded above me, leaving darkness in its wake. The windows near me all shattered.

As I stared at the mess I made I felt nothing, but excruciating pain as the only person I had, once again, abandoned me. Sobs shook my body as I gasped for air that refused to enter my lungs.

Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

I rocked myself as I replayed his words in my head again and again and again.

From the corner of my eye I noticed a shining circle appeared out of nowhere and a man going through it. He inspected the damage around me and finally his eyes landed on me and my bloody dress. I must have been quite a scene to watch, a girl with a white dress stained with blood surrounded by destruction, how cliché. The strange man walked slowly as if afraid I would run or attack him or both and cautiously kneeled in front of me, careful to not step on broken glass.

"I can help you." He told me, his voice low and sympathetic, as he studied me through his lashes.

"No one can help me." I uttered quietly, fatigue and defeat evident in my voice.

"I can." The man promised as he extended his hand for me to take. I looked at it and hesitated. But then I heard my name being shouted. I turned around and found Tony running towards me. My eyes traveled past him and found Pietro's. There was worry and pain, but not recognition. I closed my eyes, unable to look at him and turned, facing the man in front me.

"Then make the pain stop." I answered as I shakily grabbed his hand and his fingers closed on mine. Everything happened in slow motion. The man took me in his arms as Tony shouted at him to put me down. With a shallow breath I turned my head around and for the last time I stared at Pietro, who was already looking at me. And for the first time, his expression was unreadable for me. I stared at him until we pass through the portal and it closed behind us.

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[teen--marvel]

still listening to stummer's playlist while i make this reaction/review post... thing.

anywhore, let's GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (tw: flashing)

Hop looks between us, his brows drawn together in his obvious worry. He clears his throat and asks the expected question giving our current location “What are you three doing in the middle of the road like this?”

that's why, hop...

~

Hop’s face clears and turns into Chief mode as he steps closer “Someone chased you out of your house?” Mom lifts her arms up, clearly rattled from the whole situation and shakes her head a few times “No– no– no, not someone– something!”  “What–” Hop starts and she slams her arms down against her legs “Some kind of creature crawled out of my wall and came after me!”

he said, protective hubby mode instead of chief mode while joyce is trying to be all serious, lol

~

Hop is quick to hold up his hands towards her “All right, wait, wait, wait– we’ll come back and check it out with you but Joyce, we need to talk first.”

uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh-oh.

~

“What exactly happened with the wall?” I think might have escalated to tonight “We don’t– I mean, something almost happened last night but not– it wasn’t to this extent–” I stop and breathe in deeply, settling my frantic thoughts before answering more clearly “We were on our way home just now so we didn’t see what happened at the house– we don’t know.”

oh damn

~

Difference from last night to tonight though was that the alien looking creature succeeded in its rendition of the chestburster scene via our wall.

i fucking had to, i'm sorry 😂

~

I wrap one of my arms around my front, lifting the other up so I can chew on the side of my thumbnail with my anxiety this is all bringing on.

summer, honey, your stiles is showing

(not the gif i wanted, but it's close)

~

As soon as we walk inside I open my mouth in a silent gasp, my eyes slowly moving around the room and taking in the hundreds of turned off Christmas lights that are hanging everywhere

~

“It didn’t have a face?” Hop carefully repeats,

i get that he didn't know about our bestie, sir demo, but he could have at least gave her the benefit of the doubt...

~

Her description though is where Jonathan draws the line because he scoffs and turns to walk out of the living room towards the hallway. 

his ass, too.

~

Hop’s gentle voice filters through the living room in between mom’s whimpers and sniffling “Joyce, listen to me– listen to me. After Sarah… I saw her, too and I heard her. I didn’t know what was real– and then I figured out that it was in my mind, and I had to pack all that away. Otherwise, I was gonna fall down a hole… that I couldn’t get out of.”

bruh, that freaking happened to me!!! i think i've said this before but after my mom died, i show her shadow spirit thing and it freaked me the fuck out.

~

throwing on the same pants as yesterday

i do this literally all the time, especially with shorts 'cause i have one pair that fits me really good.

~

“Hey, you’re okay– take a deep breath” he sets his hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eyes “Having to see that is never okay, but it’s over– you did great, kid.”

stepdad of the year!

~

“I don’t know what you think that thing is in there, but that is not my son!”

i can't but think of those seagull memes that came out not long after the second season because of this line and the one about "what's wrong with my boy"

~

I am not gonna stop looking for him until I find him and bring him home,” she points, yelling even louder “I am going to bring him home!”

shout out to the soundtrack for having some of the audio clips like this one that i memorized in like a week 😂

~

skipped the whole funeral home bit 'cause it will always hit close to home...

~

“Byers” he says around the cigarette in between his lips

smoking is incredibly bad for you, but joe and dyl make it look hot af...

~

Raising my brows with his insistence, I drop my eyes down to the ground and the cigarette butt still on the ground. Steve makes a face and follows my line of sight, rolling his eyes as he leans forward and picks it up. He rushes over to the garbage can in front of the market and I use that as my opportunity to escape. 

DUDE!! i'm listening to this book called hunting adeline (beware of the trigger warnings if you decide to listen), but the main female character tells the main male character to not drop his butts on the ground, and this paragraph highly reminded me of that, lol

~

 I hear him grumble behind me “Should have figured you wouldn’t make this easy” Shaking my head, I don’t look back at him with my over the shoulder reply “Pretty sure I said not today, Harrington”

the sass is strong with this one (is she secretly related to a one ms emma grace thomas from yabmh? ahahahhahahaaa)

~

I look at his hands close to touching me and he drops them back down to his sides

completely different vibe fro where i'm at in this series, hahahaa

~

 “I can only deal with so much in one day and unfortunately for you, and wanting to talk, I’m at my limit for today.”

oh, yeah, she's definitely related to emma 😂

~

“Summer–” he tries but I shake my head and step away from him “You are not seriously going to try to comfort me right now” Steve scoffs and throws his arms out to his side “Why not– who do you have?”

oh damn.

~

“All day you’ve been there for your mom and probably Jonathan but who has been there for you?”

girl, if you don't!

~

“Yeah, well why didn’t you?” he asks to my back and I stop my steps, arguing with myself to just keep walking– but I don’t listen and instead turn back around to face him again. I watch as he shrugs and shoves his hands in his pockets “I probably deserved it.”

boy if only you knew about the events that's gonna happen in a couple episodes

~

i feel like this episode (or chapter) was shorter than normal... or maybe i just skipped a lot, lol.

either way, it was an amazing chapter! can't wait to relive chapter five!!!

King of My Heart Chapter 4 - The Body

Author: @stiles-o-dylan24​ Pairing: Steve x Summer Byers (eventually) Word Count: 7k Warnings: canon violence and themes, language, smoking, mentions of drowning, death, and funerals A/N: officially on a schedule babes- Tuesdays & Fridays SERIES SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

|| << PREV ||  MASTERLIST  || NEXT >> ||

The cruisers and ambulance stop behind our car with Hop’s truck leading the way. He gets out of his truck and walks up to us, the three of us sharing a confused look before we turn to face him.

Keep reading

[chimmyboii]

Not Like the Movies (Part 4)

Disclaimer: okay so this part is a bit short and sad but it sort of like a filler chapter so doesn’t end here!! There’s still more to come!!  

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 

In side the bathroom stall, Y/N cries into her hands. She felt like a fool, a complete idiot. Of course, Alex wasn’t going to like someone like her. She’s just plain old Y/N Henderson and no new outfits or makeup was going to change that. She was never going fit in with them, it would be like chalk and cheese. The sound of girls screaming made Y/N flinch, her body freezing at the sound. 

“Get out freak!” One of the girls scream. “This is the girls bathroom,” She emphasises the word ‘girls’. Y/N eyebrows pinch together. Wait, was there a boy in here?

“Y/N you in here?” Her eyes widen at the sound of Eddie’s voice. Standing up, Y/N flushes the tissues she was using to wipe her tears down the toilet. Opening the door, she spots Eddie standing by the entrance. He fiddles with the rings on his fingers, eyes trailed to the floor but fall onto to Y/N when he heard the door unlocking. Sniffing, Y/N slides down until she’s leaning against the cubicle door. 

“You could get in trouble, you know,” Y/N mutters weakly, head nodding to the sign on the bathroom door that clear states ‘Girls Bathroom’. Eddie shrugs and walks further into the room and follows her. The two of them sit side by side, staring at the mirror in front of them. 

“You okay?” At first Y/N didn’t reply, she just stared at the mirror in front of them. Her eyes were red, mascara smudged underneath her bottom lashes. Finally, she let out a sigh, her eyes closing. 

“Not really,” she breathed out. “I feel like an idiot.”

“Hey! You are not an idiot, okay. Alex is the idiot,” Y/N turned her head towards Eddie, her eyebrows pinched together. “He’s too blinded by the 

Y/N let out a breathy laugh before shaking her head. “Thanks but that’s not why I feel like an idiot.” She turns her head away again, facing towards the mirrors. “I literally changed myself just so that a boy would like me,” She scoffs, shaking her head. “When girls do that in movies, I laugh at them, call them idiots and yet here I am. Literally crying in the school bathroom over a boy! And what makes it worse is that I don’t actually like Alex,” Eddie’s head snaps to her, his brown eyes wider than usual. Y/N spots his look in the mirror ahead and groans. “I know, I know, why the hell did I go through the effort for him then? Well…I think I liked the idea of him, I suppose. He’s the package deal; good looking, smart, nice - well in private I guess. And he’s a good kisser. But I just realised, just now, that none of that matters. That he’s not what I want,” Eddie can feel heat rising in his chest, the feeling of hope filling his veins. 

Eddie clears his throat. “And what is it you want?” Y/N turns back to him and smiles softly, shrugging her shoulders.

“I have no idea. But I’m certain of one thing, I’m done with boys.” Eddie’s shoulders drop along with his heart. “I mean what’s the point. In literally seven months we’re graduating and I’ll be going to university. Why start something just to break it off. No, I’m better single, focusing on me and what I want,” At that, Y/N stands up and dusts the back of her jeans, she reaches out a hand to help Eddie up. He takes it and stands up. They stand, face to face, hands still connected, just staring at each other. Eddie considers telling her to change her mind, to give him a chance. That it doesn’t matter if she’s going away to university, fuck he’d followed her if she asked. But he couldn’t, not when she looked so determined. So, he lets go of her hand and takes a step back, flashing her small smiled that almost pained him. 

“Thanks Eddie, you know for coming to check on me. I appreciate it,” Eddie just shakes his head. But Y/N places a hand on his forearm. “No seriously Eddie, you didn’t have to. I know I’m just Dustin’s older sister and we don’t talk much but it’s nice to know that you cared,” Eddie almost scoffed at that. Cared was an understatement. Instead, he just shrugged one shoulder before looking away. Y/N smiled and reached up, wrapping an arm around his neck, the other around his waist and pressed him to her. Eddie froze, his eyes widen but his body shot into action and squeezes her in return. Leaning down, Eddie presses his chin against her head, he can smell her shampoo - coconuts. He closes his eyes tightly and tries to soothe the pain stabbing against his chest. 

He knows this will be the only time he’ll ever hold her. 

Y/N pulls back and smiles up at him just as the bell rings. Sighing, she pulls away completely and grabs her bag. “Well, I’ll see you later Eddie,” And with that she walks out of the bathroom. 

After Y/N leaves the bathroom, Eddie just stands there staring at where she once stood. So much for telling her how he felt, he groans, his hand reaching up and tugging his hair. Now he’s the idiot…and a coward. A shrill scream pulls him from his thoughts as two girls stand at the girls bathroom door, mouths wide open in shock at the sight of Eddie. 

“Shit!” Eddie jumps, stumbling as he races for the exit. “Yep, I’m going, I’m going!” He pushes past the two girls and runs into the hallway. 

tag list: @jessevans​  @uhuhuh​ @beepisbeep @r-royce​@strangerthingsstories5255 @tillkummer​ @eddiesskittle​ @browneyes528​ @zerefxdarlings

[tokrev-roses]

Cool Cool Boy

although you are happy with your love, your ex-boyfriend wants to be a part of your life again. jealous boyfriends and phones involved + NSFW (original request)

🖋Genre: Smut (Mikey, Draken Chifuyu), Fluff (Baji)

⚠️Warnings: 18+ for everyone but Baji, description of the female body and sexual acts, bad writing/grammar/spelling

👥Characters: Mikey, Draken, Chifuyu, Baji

❧ Keisuke Baji

Fancy dates are not his thing

It was not only that he had a budget, being a middle schooler and everything, he also simply didn’t vibe with it

But it was your anniversary, so he saved up all his pocket money and tried to behave so mama Baji would let him out

Cue to him waiting in front of a popular restaurant for young couples, wearing his edgy street clothes

And to both of your surprise, everything went smoothly

He excused himself to the restroom for a sec, and while you were waiting at your table, daydreaming about the beauty of this evening, someone sat down on Keisuke’s chair

You turned towards the person, fully expecting to see your boyfriend, but were met with a less than pleasant view. Your ex-boyfriend greeted you with a satisfied smirk.

“Enjoying yourself, y/n? You know, I always thought you were one of those girls who loved fancy stuff, considering how much you loved our dates and my presents. That you’d settle for someone who is unable to offer you more than this…” He made a derogatory gesture towards the other tables.

This was no high-end restaurant with view over the Tokyo skyline, but it was Baji who put a lot of effort into this, and it meant more to you than anything else

As you were about to respond, a shadow towered over your ex

“What do you think you are doing her punk?”

“This is the trash you left me for, y/n?”

As he was about to laugh, Baji seized him by the collar, lifted him up, and threw him away like actual trash

Knowing Keisuke, you tried to stop the enraged berserker he was about to turn into. No need for a brawl in the middle of a restaurant

You managed to calm him, nonetheless the manager kindly asked all three of you to leave

Keisuke kept quiet on your way home. You knew why. He actually wanted everything to be perfect, to show you how much you meant to him and it was ruined by his temper and a slimy asshole

„♪Kei-Su-Ke♪“, you poked the dimples of your grumpy boyfriend. “I loved this evening. Minus that idiot, but that was none of your fault.”

“Hm.”

He kept walking.

Ok, you’d have to bring the big guns in

With two big steps you were behind him to give him the strongest back hug possible

“Ya, you punk. Wanna pick a fight?”, your effort to imitate his voice didn’t go unnoticed.

“As if a small fry like you could win against me.”

With that you knew the ice was broken. What you didn’t expect was him turning around fast as lightening, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder.

You tried to scream but it ended in heartful laughter

A perfect anniversary indeed.

❧ Manjiro Sano

(Future!Mikey, Dark-Haired)

King of jealousy and most possessive out of all the boys, so you can imagine his reaction as you told him your ex-boyfriend visited you at work

The mood instantly shifted

“Come on, Manjiro. He didn’t ask me to marry him or anything.”

This joke was not appreciated by him, and he stayed broody for the rest of the evening

You should have known that he was up to something as he suddenly became very touchy with you, but you pinned it on his neediness

Things got even stranger when he didn’t let you touch or pleasure him, but instead kept making you feel like wax between his fingers

It wasn’t just the way he abused your neck with longing kisses or how he caressed the sides of your body with featherlight touches as he made his way downwards. Not the way he fondled your breasts with the utmost care, kissing and sucking your nipples until you couldn’t keep your whimpers from spilling.

The satisfied smile he gave you as you made the first sound should have shown you that there was more to it, but you were so lost in pleasure, that you really didn’t care

Things got worse (or better) for you as he reached your most intimate spot

If he was skilled at pleasuring you before, he was a god at doing so today.

White pleasure blinded you as his velvet tongue explored every part of you. Every moan and whimper you gave him was met with a pleased hum that vibrated through your body.

When you couldn’t stop your own need from feeling every part of him on you, you used your hands in his dark hair to push him closer to you.

Instead of understanding your silent plea like he usually would, he just kept going and going until your vision got blurred by tears and your voice was hoarse.

Only then he let you go, mumbling something you were too tired to understand.

You slept well that night, with Mikey hugging you loke a koala

It was only when you looked at your phone the next morning, that you realized what he had done.

A chat with your ex-boyfriend, who must have written you last evening about going out for dinner, cough your eye. Your answer, which you definitely didn’t send, consisted of a 30 second audio.

Innocent you played it, of course, and it took you a second to realize what exactly you were hearing.

That was you. You, moaning in ecstasy. You were frozen in place an listened all the way through it

The audio ended with a raspy voice you knew all too well

“She is busy with me.”

❧ Ken Ryuguji

Your phone was broken.

It did not show you, who tried to call you and called people you never meant to call. That’s why instead of putting it in your pockets, it usually laid somewhere beside you. Like today as you were cooking dinner for your finance who was about to come home from his bike shop very soon

The last days had been a bit stressful, he had a lot to do, couldn’t spend any time with you and you went to meet your ex-boyfriend for coffee, as he himself was about to get married soon

Ken tried to be understanding, but the amount of your time this past fling consumed annoyed him

That’s why he wanted to make up for lost time this evening

He didn’t hesitate when he saw you standing in the kitchen, stirring something in a pan and looking so perfect

On swift move and the giant had placed you on the counter, standing between your spread legs, face buried in your neck

“Well, someone seems eager.”

He wasn’t willing to waste time with your teasing but begun to assault your lips

Heavy breathing filled the room as he cupped your chin with one hand and tried to get rid of your clothes with the other

Your bodies soon met with a pleasurable sensation, moving in synch.

You held on to him like your life depended on it, ankles hooked behind his back

He wasn’t one to moan, but his heavy breathing had something so unexplainable erotic to it, that it made up for the missing foreplay

One couldn’t be without the other and if it wouldn’t have been for the laws of nature, you would have said that your brains your hearts and your pleasure became one

Sweat made the counter slippery, and your voice became raspy as you finally reached your high together

“Well, hello there.” You could literally hear the smirk on his lips as he said this.

“…hello?”

You thought you were hallucination from your post-orgasmic bliss as you heard another voice talking to the both of you. But Ken’s shocked face as he looked towards your phone woke you up

It couldn’t be that your phone called your ex-boyfriend, right?

Right??  

❧ Chifuyu Matsuno

It’s not like Chifuyu needs your attention all the time, but he kinda needs it when he wants it you know?

And today he really needed it

He had given the shop into the hands of his partner, Kazutora, to spend some time with you, as a surprise

The thing with surprises was, that they usually came at the worst times

His mood went downwards as he came home and instead of giving him a confused hug, asking him why he was home already, you were on the phone with god knows whom

He thought you’d end the call soon, so he gave you some space, but as you kept laughing 30 minutes after he arrived, he got annoyed, to say the least.

He didn’t mean to listen in on your conversation, but your constant laughter, bickering and smiling made him…curious

It seemed like your former high school sweetheart had called to “remember the good old times”, and although it wasn’t like him at all, he slowly but surely felt anger bubbling inside of him.

You had settled for the couch, and although the other party was on the phone, he felt the need to touch you, so he laid down between your legs, head resting on your stomach

You, of course, noticed the sour mood hanging in the air (not just because he followed you around like a lost puppy while you were phoning this old friend of yours)

So you petted his hair, knowing it would calm him

But the time for appeasement was over, at least for Chifuyu. He knew that you knew that he wanted you to hang up, yet you didn’t

It started as an innocent kiss on your stomach, which you answered with a silent chuckle, shaking your hand to signal him to stop

That he ignored it would be an understatement

Something you realised as he started caressing your intimate part through your clothes

As your friend on the other side was continuing to tell you about his life, your attention was captured by the innocent puppy-dog eyes your boyfriend gave you as he got rid of the annoying layers keeping him from feeling you

He began giving you kitten licks, that literally took your breath away. Good for you, the other man didn’t notice

Chifuyu, that devil, knew what he was doing, keeping eye contact with you while doing the most sinful things to you

It got worse as he took your pearl between his soft lips and started sucking

You had to press your fist on your mouth to keep any sound from spilling

He continued his assault with a steady pace, and you wanted him to stop as much as you wanted him to continue

“Y/n, are you still there?”

You hadn’t noticed that the excited voice on the phone had stopped

Faster than you could react, Chifuyu had snatched your phone away from you.

His breath tickled your now wet parts as he answered

“Something came up just now, and she needs to come. Try again, pal.”

[lovespotion9]

Broken Telephone

TW: 18+ | minors, please dni <3 | Sort of Angsty smut? | Captain kink | Vaginal Fingering (r! receiving) | Strong Language | Spit Kink | Degradation Kink | Breath restriction/choking | Strap-on (r! receiving) | Oral Sex (r! receiving)| Mention of intoxication, alcohol consumption | Afab reader, "she" pronoun used |

[ lmk if I missed anything, please!]

Wordcount: 2.7k

Enjoy! And if you don’t… spare me the constructive criticism, because I will cry <3 (/j but seriously, shush.)

Broken Telephone

“I want to make you cum on my fingers.” Your Captain breathes into your ear, hiding the slight nip she gives your earlobe with a cupped hand connecting the corner of her mouth to the side of your face.

Your face heats up at the comment, panicking eyes darting about the room in search of an Avenger that might’ve overheard the obscenity. Luckily, it didn’t seem like anyone had noticed, they all just sat in a quiet circle, waiting patiently for you to pass the message to Steve.

Pulling away, Carol smirks at the reaction she’s gotten from you with her words as she fiddles with the glass in her lap.

“Y/n, my god.” Yelena groans from the opposite side of the room

You quickly regain your composure, sitting straight up and leaning into Steve to tell him a message to pass on. “Uhm-” Carol’s gaze burns through your clothing, knocking you right back into the speechless state you were in a few seconds ago. “Uhm... “

“Y/n?” Steve pulls away from you, giving you a look of concern.

“She’s had too’m to drink, skip'er.” Yelena slurs, clearly more intoxicated than you were.

The game continues, and so does Carol’s dangerously obvious teasing. Whether it was her hand slowly creeping up your clothed thigh, a penetrating look that revealed exactly what was on her mind at the moment, or another lewd remark that threatened your ability to think complete thoughts- she wasn’t afraid to do it, to make it.

Carol was never really someone who gave a shit about what others thought, nor did she give a shit about what they saw or heard. You learned that quickly sometime around the time you guys first started seeing each other – or, fucking each other, that is. She pushed you into an elevator on the way to a very important conference, fried the control panel with a photon blast, and fingered and ate you out until maintenance began to pry the doors open.

You were the complete opposite until you met her, preferring privacy and intimacy over public quickies that resulted in you wiping cum off of your skirt with a damp napkin in the restroom before the workday had even started. You took notice of this change in your behaviour, you took shame in it. Which is exactly why you avoided her every chance you got. Declining her phone calls and attempting to spare yourself the tempting conversations and situations she’d always find a way to trap you into.

You despised the slick way her tongue moved- regardless of if it was when it was swaying you into coming into her room ‘one last time’ , or when it had you writhing and spasming against her bedsheets later that same night. The way she always took up 2 seats with her spread legs, arms outstretched across the backs of each chair almost as if she was daring someone to tell her to move. And that fucking smirk. That smirk that made you shiver when you felt it against your skin, the cocky smirk that showed exactly how well she knew of the effect she had on you. Yet you were so easily talked into setting all of those things aside each night she was bored or needed to get off. You were literal putty in her hands.

The game ended after a while, and Carol was the first to leave for some unapparent reason- leaving her phone and glass behind her.

You tried desperately not to wonder what she was doing… possibly who she was doing it with. But, as always, you lasted all of 4 minutes before you popped up from your spot on the carpet, trying not to look as thirsty as you actually were as you practically darted out of the room in search of Carol.

The soft sound of your heart palpitating in your ears must’ve blocked out your echoing footsteps, because you didn’t realize how loud you were being until Carol’s door opened before you could reach it.

She stands in the doorway grinning at you as you avert your gaze to your own bedroom door directly across from hers. “Y/n,” You turn to look at your Captain, her crossed arms and smirk giving her that authoritative look that you lusted over. “Come here.” The dominant way she spoke the words made it seem as if you had no choice but to obey ㅤ

You were both a little tipsy, so the better judgment you each lacked when you were sober was a myth at this point. It was like clockwork, before you could even walk the full 3 feet to her door she had grabbed you and pulled you into her arms. You took in her familiar scent that you took an unhealthy comfort in as she kissed down your neck, unbuttoning your shirt in the process. It felt as if you were melting into each other as she pushed you up against the wall, hands now delicately palming your breasts. Her tongue intruded your mouth, swirling artfully about yours. "I knew you'd come." She breathes, pulling away from you and replacing her lips with a slim and calloused forefinger.

"Bet you did." You quip, guiding her lips back to yours. She hungrily bites your bottom lip before scooping her hands beneath your bum and lifting you off of your feet. Deepening the kiss, you wrap your legs about her to rest in the spot on her waist they found comfort in so often. She sets you delicately on the bed before tugging at your trousers and softly pulling them down your legs. “Fuck, you’re perfect.” A soft kiss is placed on your mound, following the lustful groan aroused from your Captain. ㅤ

It all happened so quickly- just as it always did. One second you were playing telephone with your favorite people in the world, and the next you were filling Carol’s room with your wanton moans – acquainted music to her ears. An emotionally scarring situation you found yourself tangled into so often- yet each time you had a chance to get out of it you declined. Inviting the devil herself between your legs each time she desired it, allowing her to toy with your emotions by treating you like glass one moment and shit on the bottom of her shoe the next.

She worked eagerly to pleasure you, thrusting her fingers in and out of you at a rapid rate as her lips puckered firmly about your clit. Her cold brown eyes watch your expression closely, tracking the volume of your moans and the intensity of each writhe, adjusting her speed accordingly.

“You take my fingers so well, princess.” The blonde coos before removing her fingers from your heat and bringing them to her mouth. You take in a sharp breath as she suddenly spits on your area before forcing two fingers back into you, brutally curling them as soon as they’re deep enough inside of you. “Carol!” Gasping, you clutch the sheets- your back arching off of the bed and towards the woman working relentlessly between your thighs.

Slowly, she travels up the bed to meet your lips with hers almost as if she was answering your call- fingers still curling harshly into your sensitive spot. Another sharp gasp is ripped from your lungs as you feel the familiar and overwhelming vibrations pulsate against your g-spot.

Her speechless state and focused expression gives away the fact she’s slipped into that mode that scares you a bit. When it starts to seem like she’s taking out all of her rage and stress on you, her dominant side and ultimate need for control overpowering her hidden gentle and caring personality.

She fucks you like she doesn’t know you.

Soft praises usually uttered into your overheated skin turning into degrading remarks that often left you torn between being offended and being insanely turned on.

You two never spoke about this side of Carol, it was like a shameful secret kept between you and her. Afterward, she’d simply detach her lips from your writhing form and leave the room, only to return with a warm towel and an unlimited supply of affection specifically reserved for your time behind closed doors. Incessantly peppering gentle and soothing kisses across your body, calling attention to the red areas she’d either slapped or sucked too hard - it seemed to you as if she was apologizing for all of the times she had wronged you. Showing you the things she could never quite bring herself to say.

Her name falls from your lips one last time in the form of a lengthy, breathy moan as you come undone on her fingers. And although she’s clearly aware of your orgasm, she doesn’t stop her efforts to bring the next one crashing over you. Forcing a third finger into your already overworked cunt, she yanks down your bra and begins sucking painful hickies into your chest.

Taking no pity on the moaning mess falling apart beneath her, she harshly sucks one of your nipples into her mouth all while curling her three fingers into you- earning a quiet but high-pitched yelp from you. ㅤ

Her lustful brown eyes rise up your body to meet yours once again- this time not in search of pleasure, but simply to take in all of the beauty she was about to absolutely ruin.

Removing her fingers from your center, she raises her head from your breasts to hover lightly above yours under the pretense she was going to kiss you. And although you’d momentarily forgotten that kissing wasn’t the norm with this side of Carol, she was quick to remind you of the fact with her sudden manhandling. You gasp at the moment she swiftly grabs your arm and flips you onto your stomach before attaching her hand firmly to the back of your neck.

“Carol, wh-” Panic flutters about your heart and you fall silent as you realize the mistake you’ve made- your apologetic eyes being useless in their limiting view of the pillows. Her grip on your neck tenses, and if you hadn’t been in this situation many times before- you probably would’ve thought you were about to suffocate. “Fix it.” She says flatly, and although your mind was a muddled puddle of chaos at the moment, you still manage to remember that Carol accepted 2 names and 2 names only once the bedroom door locks shut, neither of them being her own. “Captain,” You choke out, tears starting to cloud your vision due to the air restriction.

Despite your correction, her grip on your neck never falters, and the only sounds she allows you to choke out for the next few moments are shrill moans and cries in response to the sizable toy she’s now thrusting into your cunt from behind. You moan desperately into the pillows as the strap fills you at every angle, nothing but Carol’s grunts and slapping of her muscular thighs against yours to accompany the obscene sounds. Her free hand forms an iron grip about your two wrists, pressing them firmly into your lower back to limit your squirming.

Your back arches into the bed as another orgasm washes over you- voice going hoarse from all of the screaming you’d done. And just as you’re falling off of the edge of your third one, Carol abruptly flips you over after removing the toy from your cunt. An impatient noise leaves your mouth as you buck your hips towards her in protest.

If there was one thing you knew about the all-mysterious Carol, you knew that she needed constant change. Which meant incessantly changing positions and locations- which was sort of annoying to you being that it meant your finishing was often postponed as a result of her disinterest in the way the light was hitting your forehead.

Sliding you down the bed, She tosses each of your legs over her Shoulders and teases your entrance with the bulbous head of the dildo, earning a needy and desperate whine from you.

Removing her hand from your neck, she prods two fingers at your mouth tugging your lower lip down slightly. “Beg for it. Use your words.”

You start almost as if it was a routine, looking up at her with needy eyes and bucking your hips towards the toy. "Please, Captain, I want your cock inside of me- I-" And just as routinely as the rest of this encounter had gone, your begging is expetedly cut Short by a rather forceful slap delivered to your throbbing bundle of nerves with the head of the toy. You moan into the air as the toy fills you delightfully thanks to the unexpected Snap of Carol's hips. Groaning in pleasure as the ribbed length is slowly withdrawn from your cunt and thrust forcefully back in within seconds, your slurred praises of Carol’s efforts slowly morph into incoherent babbles muffled by your quivering hand.

Continuing her vigorous thrusts, she removes your cupped hand from your lips, placing it at your side. “Why are you trying to keep quiet, baby? I want to hear how good I make you feel.” And worried this might be the softest Carol was going to be with you for a while, you obey- keeping your hand in place at your side and allowing the rest of your cries to echo about the room. The risk of one of your dear teammates overhearing you was quickly pushed to the back of your mind as Carol’s thrusts quickened and you could no longer tell if the staring contest she had forced you into to with the firm grip of her hand redirecting your chin to face hers was an actual contest or just another one of her peculiar turn-ons.

You gaze into her almost-fully-blown pupils, the brown irises you covertly thought were the most beautiful things in the world now almost entirely concealed. You wondered what she was thinking about as she did the same to you, and your insecurities surrounding your importance to her took over your racing mind. Was she imagining Someone else as she fucked you? Her thrusts never faltered, and the only thing that seemingly whisked you away from your thoughts was the sudden rough Pinching at your nipples followed by a forceful slap across each of them. The insane build-up of emotion- or lack thereof, for Carol- and pleasure was apparently noticed by her before you. Strikes and whispers of encouragement all fading into the background as her persistent thrusts send you crashing over the edge.

As the night proceeds, your feelings of anxiety and insecurity about your relationship worsen and you soon come to terms with the fact that you've done felt exactly what she instructed you not to at the start of all of this.

So when she returns with the towel damp with warm water and her comforting kisses, you look down in shame about the lovey-dovey feelings you've acquired.

“Y/n,” She starts, settling into her usual position beside you, a certain restlessness residing in her brown eyes. And as she looks at you with that expression that many might mistake for vacancy, you know that the most painful part of this deranged routine was soon to come.

“I love you.” She completes, a tinge of longing in her tone. You give a perfunctory smile, accustomed to the painfully familiar words. Words that you heard too often from her. Words that drove a metal stake through your heart each time they fell from her lips- all because you knew that they’d never hold true meaning.

So, you utter the words as if they upset you, just as you always did. Inputting yourself into an endless and confusing cycle of pleasure and pain.

Not that that would do anything;

And never would you find the courage to tell her how you truly felt, what those words truly did to you - especially from her.

talking to Carol was like speaking into a broken telephone.

“I love you too.”

------------------------------------------------

I'd be happy to write multiple sorts to this, but I also don't want to write something nobody wants or interacts with! Would you guys like part II?

[hana-akari]

Sakura didn’t think she could sink any lower than she had when she became an alcoholic. But here so was, heavily pregnant, being roughly fucked by a man she hates. The man that fathered the children inside her. She really had no respect for herself at all. It was humiliating, she knew she should be tossing the bastard out but it felt too good to stop. Her body longed for physical contact. No matter what it was or from who. She desperately needed this, and shamelessly let out the moans that only highlighted how needy she was. 

Sasori was basically a sex doll to her. One with the annoying ability to breed. 

That was a gamble she lost. Really lost. He came inside her once and left her with twins. Twins he wasn’t going to take responsibility for. Not that she really wanted him to. She couldn’t imagine how fucked up a kid would end up being raised by him. It was just frustrating that once again, she was going to be left to be a single mother. Just this time to three. It was a good thing she already loved the babies inside her, and she was a natural with kids. Otherwise, it would be so much worse for her.

There was no way she was letting this happen again! Forgetting that she had already planted in his head that she would let him impregnate her again. She would fight him on that. 

Her eyes were closed and she was getting lost in the pleasure, pretending that it was literally anyone else between her legs when she felt him slow and lean over her. Sakura’s eyes flew open, “Fuck!” She looked towards her door and sure enough she heard the sound of footsteps. She really thought she had more time before she came home.

‘Let’s give her a show’

Sakura’s eyes darted up at Sasori, “W-wait- Don’t- Stop–!!!” 

She barely got the objection out before he was slamming into her harder than ever. After already holding back an orgasm, having him suddenly rubbing her sweet spot faster made her fall apart. Quickly, one of her hands shot up and she bit down hard on it, “Mmf~ Mm~ Mmh~!!” Her cries of pleasure were muffled as she hit an orgasm. Cumming all over Sasori’s cock. Her insides only held him tighter. It felt so amazing being fucked right through her orgasm. Her insides quivering and sensitive. It brought small tears to her eyes. Her hips bucked on his cock, silently begging for more. Wanting him to fuck more orgasms out of her until she could no longer think.

Her sharpened teeth were tearing through her hand, making it bleed. Blood dripped down her chin as she tried to muffle her sounds.

Sakura tensed up hearing a knock at her door. She wanted to scream so bad.

“Mama? Are you okay? I thought I heard you crying.”

A concerned sounding Sarada called from the other side of the door. Wiggling the doorknob and finding it locked, that Sakura praised the heavens she remembered to lock.

Sakura had no idea how she was going to keep a straight sounding voice with Sasori abusing her insides like this but she couldn’t stay quiet. 

Pulling her teeth out of her hand, she sucked in a breath. Her teeth and lips were covered in blood. Something she dragged her tongue over. She was sure her hand was going to need stitches or healing,

“I’m- I’m okay, dear! Ngh…” She bit her hand again to let out a few more muffled sounds, before trying again, “The- U-uh- Twins are giving me a hard time… N-nothing to worry about!” 

“Are you sure? You don’t sound so good… Is there someone in there with you?” Sarada curiously asked, pressed against the door. Hearing the faint sound of Sakura’s bed creaking. 

“N-no! J-just me! Why don’t you help me by getting dinner out of the fridge, a-and check if we’re missing anything!”

Sakura blurted out in panic. She absolutely did not want her daughter knowing Sasori was here. Let alone currently fucking her. Sarada had already embarrassingly figured out that Sasori might possibly be the father of her two siblings. The kitchen wasn’t nearly far enough for Sakura’s tastes. She was just dying of embarrassment. 

“Hm… Alright, I’ll work on dinner and come check on you after.”

Sarada didn’t sound very convinced but she still walked off to the kitchen, which was still fairly close to her room. Sakura’s eyes shot up at Sasori, giving him a dark glare, hissing at him in a whisper,

“You’re such a bastard!”

Why the hell was she turned on by it???

Oh, Sasori could think of no better sound than having the bitch who punched off his jaw and his left eye, pregnant and moaning underneath him as he fucked her like a fat slut. It was like music to his ears. And when she implied letting him impregnate her a second time? Oh, he was going to take her up on that little offer, no taking it back now. He'd be sure to pay her another visit just after the twins were borne when she still had that supple, post-partum body.

Over the wet slapping of flesh against wood and Sakura's moaning undertoned by Sasori's labourous grunting, the puppeteer heard something else, faint but there and for a brief second, he slowed in his helter-skelter fucking of her to listen closerr. It was a door shutting and then footsteps elsewhere in the house. Looks like Sakura's daughter was home, just in time too.

" Looks like your wee daughter is home, lass, " Sasori leant over Sakura to say in a whisper before grinning--though, he was always grinning due to his wooden jaw. " Why don't we give her a show, aye? "

He didn't even have the opportunity to object as he went back to fucking her with a ferocity that put pornstars in hardcore porn films to shame. Unlike her weak, little human body, he could go for hours like this without tiring and he very much intended to also, with or without her daughter only feet away. It added a flavour of danger for him, in fact. The thought of being caught fucking her mother turned him on.