#m’s monologue

[juno-infernal]

the horrors are endless. but we stay silly :3

[acourtofbooksandshadows]

I’m gonna some points onto this.

Rhysand:

•Literally is fucking furious that tamlin locks up Feyre then turns around and locks up Nesta.

•GETS UPSET WITH NESTA FOR HAVING HUMAN EMOTIONS. Like let’s not forget she’s in her early to mid 20’s, just got turned Fae against her will because her sister couldn’t fucking leave shit alone. While everyone else in the IC excluding Feyre and Elain have had hundreds of years to grow and regulate emotions and be big kids or whatever.

•Tells Az to fuck off when it comes to Elain even though he purposely got Feyre drunk and has sexualized her on multiple occasions in front of groups of people. Like Elain is showing Az interest he’s not forcing her into anything(I am a Gwyn and Az shipper though)

•The fact that he seems to be all progressive and wanting to a change yet doesn’t actually implement any key changes. I.e. Hewn City and the way that Illyrian females are still treated like fucking trash.

Cassian:

•Knows Nesta is his mate but precedes to treat her like shit.

•He out of everyone should understand PTSD since he’s literally the General of Bloodshed blah blah blah. So how did he not think that Nesta could possibly have PTSD and this was how she was treating it?

•He got mad at Nesta for telling HER sister something about HER body that no one else would fucking tell her. Then preceded to punish her for it.

•Also tries to seem all progressive and shit but also turns a blind eye to the way Illyrian females are treated even though one of them is his mates best friend.

Rowan:

•I honestly will never understand the hype around him. He is one of my least favorite male characters out of all of the SJM books.

•He didn’t deserve to have the blood oath from Aelin first. That is something I will stand on until my last breath.

•He is supposed to be all about like tough love or whatever but like he’s a massive fucking prick. People just sugarcoat it. Like yea he has hundreds of years of experience on Aelin but she’s also a fucking badass all on her own.

Now onto all the men I adore.

Az:

•Even though we don’t see much of him. He stood up tamlin when he made that comment about Feyre.

•He consistently tries to save women and I think that if he had a different job that wasn’t just spymaster that he would have fixed all the issues in the Illyrian camps.

•Why doesn’t anyone ever seem to care about him? He literally tortures people and you know that has to be triggering given his past?

Tamlin:

•He was frantic to save the women he loves. Especially after someone who has repeatedly shown the world he is evil and cruel spins her into a bargain.

•Wanted to give Feyre a life she wasn’t able to have on the other side of the wall. Even made sure her family was taken care of which is something Rhysand didn’t really do. Though I know that he turned around and then made them unsafe but still.

•Didn’t want Feyre put into harms way. I’m just really wanting a redemption arc for him okay.

Choal:

•THIS MAN HAD REAL HUMAN EMOTIONS AND GOT SHAMED FOR THEM WTF?

•I heard all the hate for him before reading the books and I kept waiting to see why everyone hated him and it never happened. He just did what he thought was right throughout the series.

•He didn’t deserve all the hate for what happened to Nehemia either. Like she was a two faced snake and he was JUST DOING WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS RIGHT.

Dorian:

•That boy deserved so much better.

•He didn’t deserve the way Manon talked to him or the way people constantly dismissed him.

•He went through some very traumatic experiences and no one really truly cared except for Chaol.

Aedion:

•I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed when he talked about how he couldn’t wait to be Aelins one and only blood sworn. Just for her to turn around and dismiss him wanting that like it was just a speck of dust.

•That meant everything to him but she turned around and gave it to grumpy grandpa instead?

•Then proceeded to just kinda throw it at him like a little bone at the very end of KOA?

•Also he did not deserve for Lysandra and Aelin to treat him the way they did. He had so much of himself taken away and they were really going to take that away as well?

•It was supposed to be him and Aelin against the world but she shows up with grumpy grandpa and just kinda pushes him aside like he hasn’t been living and holding out hope for her return.

Sartaq:

•He was a respectful, loyal, badass, woman loving, warrior who deserved way more story time in KOA than he got.

•We deserved to see so much more of how he could lead and the way that he and Nesryn would become an absolute fucking force to be reckoned with.

•He never balked at Nesryn being a badass. He was very patient with her and admired her dearly. He was the MAN of the series.

at this point i'm wondering what sarah is thinking when writing her love interests, like ok it's clear she finds them hot but like....are they good people

Rhys:

UTM lap dance shenanigans

throwing Feyre into danger constantly (Weaver, destroying cauldron, getting the book from Adriata, etc etc)

Still not doing jack shit about wing clippings in Illyria?? Emerie is right there, Rhysand, go enforce your damn laws

Insulting his wife's sister constantly

Almost killed his wife's sister cause she dared give her important medical information

Locked Lucien (MY BOY!!) in the house of wind

Locked Nesta in the house of wind

Didn't give Mor any warning that time he made her face her abusers and she cried i think (ngl i forgot most of it)

Ignoring Hewn City even tho...Kier is like the only bad guy we've seen from there?? Surely there's decent people in Hewn City, don't gotta make everyone suffer

Nesta windhaven kidnapping intervention so she stops spending Rhys' money (if it was really about her own sake, they would've put a stop to it much earlier)

Seemingly alienates everyone in Feyre's life that could and would stand up to Rhys for Feyre's sake. Lucien? Nah, shoo. Nesta? Nah, shoo. Weird thought but Tarquin? Yeah, makes her steal his book.

And last but DEFINITELY not least; demon baby wife death

HE COULD'VE TOLD FEYRE... OR ATLEAST NOT THREATENED TO KILL HER SISTER FOR TELLING HER WHEN HE HOULD'VE TOLD HER IN THE FIRST PLACE??

THERE'S PROBABLY MORE BUT MOVING ON

Cassian:

Barely ever stands up for Nesta in the IC

Aids in kidnapping Nesta to Windhaven so she stops spending whysand's money

Laughs at Nesta when she falls down the stairs

Aids in punishing Nesta for daring to tell Feyre important medical info

Constantly going agaisnt Nesta's wishes and trying to "save her" when she doesn't want him to

That one time Azriel asked Nesta if Cass had pushed her down the stairs...Like are we gonna ignore that?? Personally I'd have a quarter life crisis if my closest friend, who is like my sibling and has known me most of our lives, seriously entertained the idea that i would physically assault the girl I like

general aggressiveness all of ACOSF

aids in bulldozing Nesta's apartment

Rowan goddamn Whitehorn (Who I've yet to see people bashing him somehow,,, HoF rowan was like if ACOSF cassian had a horrific murder baby

Left his pregnant mate alone during a war cause he wanted to prove himself....like..idk man if i had the choice between war and taking care of my pregnant wife i'd pick the wife (did he know she was pregnant? i've kind of forgotten by now)

Rowan's kid would've been hundreds of years older than Aelin.....just think abt that

Literally everything he did to Aelin during training in HoF

Their argument where he PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE

Threatened to whip Aelin...I repeat....Threatened to whip Aelin, an ex-slave....

Told Aelin it'd be better if she died 10 years ago (unprovoked?? bitch you met her like 2 weeks ago just cause she's getting on your nerves doesn't mean you gotta wish DEATH upon her)

Literally was relieved to find out she was only 19 because if she was a few years older she could've been THE CHILD OF HIS BEST FRIEND.

No issue with marrying the cousin of his best friend's child....Imagine if he hadn't met Aelin first.. If he'd met Aedion first, Aelin would've always been the relative of his friend's son to him

FOR THE RECORD i hate all of the SJM age gaps but rowan and aelin's specifically irks me because Aelin LITERALLY CALLS HIM OLD throughout the WHOLE SERIES

Literally tells Aelin he doesn't care about what she's been through and that she is nothing to him after she confronts him for leaving her

Puts Luca in danger by sticking him on to a frozen lake with a monster inside where he'll DIE if Aelin can't save him

Funnily enough, some of the only seemingly decent person guys in SJM 1. Are completely forgotten about in the books or 2. SJM had to make them violently unlikeable

Like we've got:

Tarquin, seemed like a pretty good guy, rightfully pissed that the IC stole his family heirloom, shows up like twice in the books (LET HIM COME BACK SARAH I LOVE HIM)

Tamlin, was pretty decent in book 1, was made violently unlikeable in book 2 onwards

Chaol, very strong morals, generally a good person, loves his wife, made violently unlikeable and boring in late CoM, HoF, and QoS (ToD is one of my favorite books in the series, will praise ToD till the day I die, my boy EARNED his own book)

Aedion, seemed like a good person, strong morals, spent years trading his dignity for the sake of Terrasen, loved his cousin above all else, made violently unlikable in KoA (even tho I think he was justified in being angry about it, i'd be SO pissed)

Sartaq, good guy, strong morals, Nesryn's chapters were some of my favorites in ToD, Sartaq is one of my favorite SJM love interests, i'll never forgive author lady for forgetting about him in KoA (tho i guess she forgot about everyone from ToD? Yrene and Chaol are the only important ones, she barely even mentions Nesryn even though Nesryn's BEEN an integral part of the gang since QoS, giving her the Suki from ATLA treatment)

[emoreooo]

it means everything yuri edition

[c0ffee-gh0ul]

has anyone ever considered...

scott x wallace x mobile...

or as i like to call it, mobiscollace

[malinaa]

THE REFRIGERATOR MONOLOGUES by CATHERYNNE M. VALENTE

[ananke-xiii]

The natural order is absent fathers.

I’ve been trying to understand what the heck “natural order” means in Supernatural until I’ve finally realized I was giving it too much thought than necessary because it was much simpler than what I had in mind: the natural order in Supernatural is…. Supernatural from s1 to s3.

I can explain.

First of all, the natural order is an “arrangement”:

EVE: You misunderstand me. I never wanted that. Not at first. I liked our arrangement. SAM: What arrangement? EVE: The natural order. My children turned a few of you, you hunted a few of them. I was happy.

Eve turns up in s6 after s4-5 madness and she’s unhappy: the arrangement has been broken. This leads me to think that the key-factor in keeping the natural order alive and well is honoring deals. When Crowley starts crossing boundaries in s6 Eve steps up to put him back in his place. However, she doesn’t realize who her real enemy is until it was too late for her. As always, the enemy of the natural order, the breaker of deals, the one you cannot expect to keep his word, the snake in the grass is our very Castiel.

Billie shares Eve's storyline. She’s also unhappy about the discombobulation of the natural order and she takes it on the Winchesters and then later on specifically on Dean. What's more, with Billie we see that uncontrolled resurrections without deals are a real problem for her. She fails to realize who her mortal enemy is twice: once when she’s a reaper and Castiel stabs her in the back and in so doing he’s breaking a stupid deal; the second time when they die together in s15. This time, though, they die because Cas is honoring a deal, but he’s doing it on his own terms, not waiting around wondering what true happiness is but taking matter into his own hands.  Although I have things to say about how happiness is framed in “Despair”, I’ve got to admit that, in its own convoluted way, it was a badass move.

Interestingly, when it comes to Chuck we don’t see the same respect and passion for the natural order that Eve and Billie seem to share. This is also where I think the writers sort of dropped the ball. In s11 it was established that Chuck had created nature and then nature “created on its own”. Here he seems to respect nature and calls it “divine”. In “The Trap”, however, he says the following things:

SAM: It'll be better. It'll be better. It'll be better. If we win – When we win – When we beat you, I will make it better! CHUCK: You can't, Sam. You, Sam Winchester, have been playing fast and loose with the laws of nature and magic for a very long time – you and your brother. Always breaking the rules. And that's what I love about you, Sam. It's so heroic. It's so...Promethean. But there's still so much about the fabric of the universe that you don't know... that you can't know. 'Cause you're only humans. But I'm God. Think about what I showed you. Look beyond the Mark, beyond you and Dean fanging out – heartbreaking, but not the headline news. SAM: The monsters. CHUCK: The monsters. CHUCK: Without me, it's a law of nature – dark forces prevail, monsters rule, and you, your brother, and everyone you love will die. Can you really live with that?

First of all I find it fascinating that Chuck, of all people, likes Sam and Dean precisely because they break the rules (but then he can't stand Castiel, looool, much to think about). He’s eventually angry at them because they don’t follow his script but he’s ultimately invested in these characters to such a degree that he calls them “Promethean”. Now, lol because didn’t Prometheus die, like, in s8 or something? But also: Prometheus is the hero who got impaled on the mountains of Caucasus because he defied Zeus (*cough* like *cough* Dean Winchester*cough*). So whether Chuck likes their "heroism" or not he only likes it up to a certain point (and this certain point is when their actions reveal his secret desires for self-destruction but that's for another day). For sure he wickedly enjoys when he vicariously breaks the rules and the natural order arrangement via Sam and Dean's actions. Not so much when it's Castiel who inserts himself into the fabrics of his story.

Secondly, “without me, it’s a law of nature”. What does that mean? I promised I wasn’t gonna go too philosophical so I went for the simpler route. If we leave aside the “dark forces” and “monsters rule” shit, what Chuck is saying is basically that without him the natural order will prevail. Which should be a good thing, right? Right?! Which also means that he himself is as much of a disruptor of the natural order as Castiel (oh-oh). Just like Billie, Chuck likes breaking the rules only when he or one of this favorite characters break them. Unlike Castiel and the Winchesters, however, he’s on a different plane of knowledge (therefore power) because there’s so much more about the fabrics of the universe that they can’t know but he can. After all, he is God and he (according to SPN) has created nature itself. So what’s Chuck’s signature on this "divine" masterpiece? What are the foundations of the natural order? I think the answer can be found in “Free to be You and Me”:

DEAN: The hell did you do? CASTIEL: I don't know. I just looked her in the eyes and told her it wasn't her fault that her father Gene ran off. It was because he hated his job at the post office. DEAN: Oh, no, man. CASTIEL: What? DEAN: This whole industry runs on absent fathers. It's, it's the natural order.

That’s it, that’s the natural order according to Supernatural: it’s about absent fathers. It’s on their absence that “this whole industry” runs. Which not so incidentally is also the premise of Supernatural and, like, the whole plot of the first two seasons (and beyond but I'm talking "Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home for a few days" type of absent father, that is John Winchester).

So if my understanding is correct, it’s accurate to say that Billie won in the finale because the natural order was re-established: nobody is resurrected, they all eventually die and Sam and Dean go on a hunt guided by their absent father’s journal, something we haven’t seen in ages, on a case that John himself had worked on something like maybe 20 years prior? Which is what they did in the first seasons of the show. They even meet a vampire from S1 who was there to signal precisely that: they're back in the past, only not in a positive way because it's a fictional past. A past with a mask.

Yes, the natural order is just the past through rose-colored glasses, a “let’s go back to the fun times of season 1-3 before all that angels-and-god-non-sense”. Which is technically possible but practically anachronistic. These two men are not in their 20s anymore, they're fully grown adults who've been through... let's just say a lot. It's a glorification of youth and a "forever young"ism that I find quite worrying. Moreover, with these premises Castiel couldn’t ever come back because, together with Chuck, he was one of the main disturbers of the natural order, aka the way Supernatural was before S4. Chuck's mistake was precisely inserting himself into the narrative because, in so doing, The Father is no longer absent while he must stay so according to the rule of the natural order. That's the arrangement. Chuck and Castiel's narrative fates are thus weirdly knotted together because the arrangement excludes deal-breakers/father-figures like them. Ironically, the ultimate absent father is not God but John Winchester, period. His absence is Order. It's the Law, aka what gives meaning to reality.

The implications of the finale are problematic because why on earth would you end your series like that? It's not even a positive "full-cycle" moment, it's just sad and uncanny in the freudian sense of the word. I know and understand that Dabb was working on his retelling so that we could all go back to the beginning but what is the point to go back without growth? Or to go back and then die? Or to go back and just leave? To me it doesn't make sense from a storytelling pov. I repeat, why would the people involved in this series decide to go down that road I cannot know. I suspect that they took the emotional, fake-happy ending road because Covid had destroyed the world as we know it so maybe they opted for an ending that would comfort people ("comfort" in the sense that's familiar to people, it follows an established path that's recognizable and doesn't destabilize them, which, for the record, I think they failed to do). Or maybe the intent was precisely the uncanny, that feeling of something disturbing and unsettling in what should be familiar and comfortable for us. As in: the story ends like it began, nothing has really changed and everything can only get resolved in the after-life. True happiness is not in the having, it's in just being (dead in Heaven with your brother). I don't know, two things can be true at the same time, but I'm not gonna lie I smell traditionalism, conservatism and heroism as a cult of death that's very Ur-fascist.

Not that anybody has asked for this but, unlike Eve and Billie, I’m actually quite happy because I’ve managed to find an answer to one of my own questions.

[hawkeyeslaughter]

m*a*s*h // “ the ballad of the kingsmen “ , todd snider

[remyfire]

Local priest discovers bisexual polyamorous BDSM porn, decides he's going to bury that for now—

[starbylers]

M*levens will say Will’s love for Mike is ‘just a crush’ or that ‘he can/will get over it’ whereas El’s love for Mike is real and true and deep, too strong for her to possibly move on from…while in the same breath try and claim Will’s words/feelings in the van also belong to El. Make it make sense 🙂 they'll say Will's feelings = El's feelings to explain why the monologue is valid even though Will was the driving force behind it, but then turn around and say Will's feelings ≠ El's feelings which is why he'll move on but El can't, and why El’s love for him is deeper and why she‘s better for him. It's a total paradox.

[theropodtheroblogs]

Fic Snippet - Megatronus Prime/Megatron

I'm so obsessed and I need you to be too, so here's a snippet for something in the works, a multichapter Megatronus Prime/Megatron fic, working title 'Solid as Sand, Real as Dreams'.

“You seem to have forgotten just from whom you have taken, little mech.” Megatronus hums, voice drifting along the strands of light and sand as they dance through the air. They begin to spread across him, patchwork at first as they form his towering body and fill in missing detail, and all the while Megatron crumbles until he can be lessened no further. “Your first cog stolen, destroyed by a traitor who’s death was much deserved and savoured.” Purple plating shifts into place, slowly solidifying as silken words drip from the forming mask. “Your second a gift freely given, tossed aside when a greater prize came within reach. I wonder what Alchemist would have made of such arrogance.” Black servos twist into existence, trailing through sands like fingers dipped into liquid energon. “And now your third, already stolen once before, taken as a war prize.” The gilding settles into place on scratched purple plating, war scarred and glorious as divinity towers over the cogless miner helpless before him. “And yet again we come to your great weakness. With your grasping hands and your arrogance, you forgot to ask; where does your power come from?”

[acourtofbooksandshadows]

Good morning loves,

I came on here to apologize for my lack of posting the last couple of months. My mental health took a nose dive for a while and I just didn’t have any motivation to write. That being said, I am in a much better place mentally now. How long that will last I’m not sure.

But I am excited to get to posting again. I was going to post the next part of Not So Routine today but wasn’t able to finish Crescent City 2 last night like I planned. So I will not be posting until tomorrow. I do have it written out but it’s been edited or formatted. But rest assured I’ll stay up however late I need to to edit and format it so it’s posted in the morning tomorrow. Thank you all for being so patient!

Light It Up,

M

[autumnmobile12]

Any of you read The Refrigerator Monologues by Catherynne M. Valente?  It’s a novella told from the point of view of the dead girlfriends/wives of superheroes.  Very compelling read with a lot of throwbacks to actual comics.  A lab accident here and you can tell it was obviously inspired by Spiderman, a school for children with powers, and that’s clearly X-Men.  It’s a pretty good narrative of the treatment of women in the comic book genre.

Anyway, I often think about the closing line of the book because it kinda strikes me as one that could also work for the LoV members who don’t survive.

“The Deadtown moon turns all our faces into four-color saints, and for a moment, this moment, every night, we all feel almost alive again, dancing together at the end of the story, where nothing in heaven or earth can hurt us anymore forever.” ~The Refrigerator Monologues, Catherynne M. Valente

It's a sad line, but like it does in the original book, it kinda gives me a strange bit of comfort in the way things ended for the League, too.

[aq2003]

it IS weird that the general consensus on twelve is that peter capaldi is an excellent actor but his episodes are bad (esp in comparison to the general consensus on series 5 being that it's some of the best the show gets) bc i am overall really enjoying series 8, a lot more than the last 3

[tentacledwizard]

always act like a “tomboy” as a kid, be off-putting and awkward etc

get shorter haircut

people tell you they thought you were a guy bc of ur hair

think this is funny

wear a suit jacket whenever you can, or a baggy sweatshirt

sunglasses

automatically wonder “do i gotta pick one” whenever someone asks if you’re a boy or a girl

feel intensely envious of nerdy guys in films and stuff, strongly identify with them

call yourself a guy a few times, enjoy the sound but you don’t Actually feel like a guy right??

always play as a dude in dnd

ok maybe something’s happening here

wear suit to school event, end up in a group photo with the boys (tm)

get even shorter haircut

stay up all night thinking about whether you’re actually a girl

conclude that if you have to pick a gender… do you really have to pick one?? do you though?

start going by she/any pronouns

conclude that whatever pronouns you go by will still feel like a disguise, like every other aspect of your identity

read some of nd stevensons comics

:O !!!!

google “am i bigender”

answer: very likely

she/he with no real preference atm lets go

resume work on a story about tentacle monsters: work thru some stuff (tentacle monsters are a potent metaphor ok)

pace back and forth. how do you communicate the revelations you’ve been having on a subliminal level. how do you create confusion

see hawaiian shirt and ascend to a wonderful realm of black and white floral patterns in the mens section

buy Hawaiian shirt

WIZARDLY ARTIFACT OF GENDER ACQUIRED! YOU BEAT THIS LEVEL

wear hawaiian shirt everywhere

write tumblr post

[c0ffee-gh0ul]

okay, hear me out.

this is where scollace went to college.