#Like these people live in her tags being weird and bitter

[ambelle]

I wonder if the people being passive aggressive in Meljays tag get that it doesn’t change the fact Jayce was into one person on the show and her name was Mel.

You can call it rare and pretend to be confused as to why.

You can ask if anyone actually ships it.

It’s still canon that’s she’s the one he wants. Not your favorite skinny white person.

It’s HER

[neo-percs]

LOVE GALORE:: lee jeno

WARNING:: one night stand, fingering, oral (f!receiving), overstimulation, unprotected sex, drinking.

SUMMARY:: in which you sit at a bar drinking when the guy next to you begins to ask you questions about yourself instantly clicking. By midnight he's escorting you to his apartment.

WORD COUNT:: 3.5K

The club was buzzing, everyone gathered under clouds of smoke and dancing as sweat gathered on their skin. The walls and floors were vibrating from the hard base booming through the gigantic speakers propped up on the DJ booth. Ignoring all of the drunk women and men stumbling to the bar asking for bottles and shots with chasers. You play with the straw jammed in between the melting ice at the bottom of your drink and occasionally sipping from it. Being left by your friends in exchange to mingle with whoever they could dig their nails into a bitter feeling swirled in the pit of your stomach.

Your eyes attached themselves to the screen of your phone as you scroll mindlessly as you feel a pair of eyes burn right through your side profile, you choose not to look in case the person happens to be some random or worse. "What kind of drink is that" the person besides you finally speaks making you look up in his direction instantly taken aback. He was fitted into a black button up the sleeves rolled to the elbow, his hair a pale shade of blonde and his sharp features make you blink thinking the alcohol was finally taking its toll.

He was looking at you, he was speaking to you and yet you hadn't uttered a single word back only glancing at the glass with a clear drink and lime wedged onto the rim of the glass. "It's a margarita, I'm not very wide range with my drinks" you shrug as you finally let the words ripple through your throat, speaking loud enough over the music for him to hear you. He nods as he waves down the bartender who was cleaning off cups with a white towel. "What can I get for you?" The man asks his eyes are round and his bright magenta hair makes you eye him more at the interesting choice in hair color.

"Can I get the same margarita as her please?" He asks only getting a firm nod and smile from the worker who's name tag had been blurred out due to the bright flashing lights. "Nice manners" you laugh, he seemed to be in your age range and for him to have manners was almost like being the tallest dwarf. "It's the bare minimum, I don't want him to spit in my drink or anything for being rude" he shrugs which makes you bite back a smile. As a minute of sheer silence between the both of you.

"Why are you here by yourself? Shouldn't you be with friends at a place like this?" He asks, although he doesn't mean for it come off in weird way and you knew that and wouldn't take it as anything less than a sheer question of curiosity. "I am here with friends, but I'm pretty sure their off wondering around trying to get laid by some random girls in the corner over there" you wave off to the back right corner where you assumed Mark and Taeyong had wondered off to without even a second glance. He hums "what about you?" You ask delivering with a curious glance at him as he takes a sip out of his drink.

"I came here with a friend to look out for him on his date but he left to get laid too" he shakes his head with a smile thinking of Jaemin stumbling out with his date on his arm and a warm smile. And as time went on you and Jeno learn each others names, ask each other about hobbies, and what you do for a living. It was almost as if you were on a first date over drinks in one of the weirdest circumstances as to why you're both alone.

But as you continue the both of you grew to have a flirty banter going, and when you finally see people are starting to leave you both not end the night. Walking around the empty streets talking your arms brush against each other, you could feel the ache in your feet as you both walk down one of the still bustling streets when Jeno pitches the idea to walk to his place as it's closer. By the time you had both reached the front doors your stumbling and giggling holding onto each other's hands in case the other falls. Pulling the door open for you, you both walk to the elevator with dopey smiles resting on your lips without even realizing you had yet to let go of his hand.

Your breathing gets heavier as you realize that you were now alone, holding hands with an attractive guy you met at a bar. "You okay?" Jeno mumbles as he looks over at you with concerned eyes "you look like your burning up" he says as his free hand reaches to cup your cheek feeling how warm your face is his eyes flickers to yours not realizing how close he had gotten and how intimate his actions were. You look up at him nodding without a single word closing the gap between you both.

As your lips collide the both of your press into each other eagerly, not breaking until you could hear the elevator door open, both of you pulling away shyly as you meet the gaze of an elderly couple. You both apologize and scurry out of the doors lighting speed. Jeno guides you to his door embarrassed at the last encounter until he opens the front door. The both of you topple inside smiling as you once again latch onto each other. The room is dark yet the feeling of each other is all you need.

The both of you shedding clothes throughout the halls until you make it into his bedroom with nothing but your underwear on. Your both messily kissing each other until your back is pressed against the bedsheets and your head rests against the pillow.

pulling your panties down and sliding them off your ankle he discards them. The view of your pussy practically shining in all its wet glory. Jeno was desperate. To touch, taste and fill you up in so many ways he couldn't even think straight.

His hands unclip your bra watching your breasts spill out of the fabric and padding. Discarding it his hands palm your chest as leans down to lick your sensitive nipples making you let out a small moan.

Nobody had ever made you feel so good just by barely touching. Until Jeno had decided to drag his face down your stomach, littering small kisses on your sweet supple skin until he stopped at the place you needed him most.

Kissing down your inner thigh sucking hickeys into your skin you shiver at the feeling of his warm tongue giving your puffy lips a small lick. Whispering a curse under his breath he licks again this time he is much more confident.

he holds your thighs when the pleasure starts seizing your limbs, as the feeling of his warm tongue licking from your hole to your clit and sucking needly. You moan as your hand reaches for the back of his head pushing him against your pussy.

Groaning against you sent vibrations all over as you let out a small giggle that broke into a moan feeling the harsh pad of his thumb rub against your clit while his tongue worked to push inside you.

The sounds you make are music to his ears. He presses his nose on your clit, inhaling your scent deeply before his tongue dives inside your waiting pussy. You pull onto his hair, writhing against his face. "Feels so good" you moan as you roll your hips against his face.

You could feel his lips curve against your pussy sending shivers down your spine. The wet muscle repetitively enters you, eager to gather your nectar. It feels like heaven, stomach tightening with each second.

Pulling away his thumb Jeno flattens his tongue against you licking from your entrance to your clit again, kissing it he sucks harshly on the bud with no regard as you moan his name mindlessly.

"Oh fuck" you manage to whimper out you tug at his hair as he groaned, your eyes shut as you "please use your fingers" you moan neediness dripping from your tone.

His hand moving from your plush thigh, his thumb rubbing harsh circles on your clit  he pulled away licking your clit once more his middle and ring fingers make way to your entrance.

Pushing in slowly you groan at the penetration, easing your tight walls around his thick fingers as he pushes them deeper you feel the cool metal on his rings all the way at the knuckles of his fingers as it grounds you from the euphoric feeling.

Pulling his head he looks up at you with your juices on his swollen lips and on his chin his fingers begin to move opening your eyes. You look down at him feeling his gaze as he watches you react gasping as the feeling you grind down against his fingers "you like that? Hm?" He says as he licks your essence off of his lips.

His hair now disheveled  as his cheeks were blooming with a soft blush, you nod eagerly "yeah? You want me to go faster for you?" He coos feeling you clench around him at the sound of his lewd words, you clench harder "yes please" you say losing your mind on his fingers as you absentmindedly grind down on them.

Without a single falter in his movements his fingers began to rub against the gummy part of your walls at a faster rate as the sound of your sopping pussy getting pounded by his fingers made you squeal.

"Oh my god" you cry out hoping to god he wouldn't stop the rewarding pace he had set. Your hips involuntarily buck against his fingers as his assault of pleasure on your pussy consumed you whole.

"I'm close" you whine as the sloshing sound and the sound of you and Jeno's mixed heavy breathing had been the only thing you could hear "yeah, you gonna cum all over my fingers?" He asks teasingly as his tongue licks a long stripe against your clit that had the feeling in the pit of your stomach churning in anticipation for your orgasm.

"Yes, wanna cum just for you" you whine under your breath as he pushes and pulls his fingers in and out of you faster watching you come closer and closer to the edge waiting for him to catch you. He sucks and licks your clit harshly making you let out a loud moan as you cum all over his fingers.

Not stopping his actions he presses his fingers into your thighs pulling you against his face as you try to wiggle away whimpering. The feeling of pleasure had become overwhelming his tongue and fingers making your legs shake around his head as your fingers found the roots of his platinum hair tugging harshly wishing he'd let up. "It's too much" you moan as your thighs tightly wrap around his head. His fingers moving faster earns a loud moan as your back arches off bed sheets.

You could feel another orgasm building up as you hiccup out babbles and pleas from pleasure. The sloppy sounds make your head spin. one of your hands moves to grip the hair on the back of his head and you push his face into yourself even more.

you breathily moaned his name and that made him piston his fingers in and out of you faster and curling them to hit your g-spot your jaw drops as you let out a silent scream as the knot in your stomach is finally released once again yet more intense than the first one.

"So good" he hummed as he fucks you through your high slowing down as he kisses your clit that's now sensitive making you writhed under him. "Doing so good for me" he smiles as he pulls away from you kissing your thighs as if he was rewarding you.

You let out a small huff that turned into a choked moan when his long fingers pulled out of you. With no hesitation he sucked on his fingers licking off any essence and cum you had left on his digits.

Pulling them away he leans in to kiss you letting his tongue brush over yours to taste yourself. Pulling him closer, the kiss becoming more intense and rough, your hand cupping his jaw as the other rests against his naked back you drag your nails against his skin leaving behind red rails of irritation, groaning against your lips Jeno strips out of his remaining clothes. "Do you want to keep going?" He asks sincerity dripping from his tone, you bite your lip nodding as you take this chance as a poor attempt to catch your breath.

"I do, really badly" you huff. Smiling Jeno presses his forehead against yours as his hand falls between his legs he stroked himself before pressing his tip against your clit teasingly he grinds against you moaning at the slick sounds coming from between you both. Your warmth against his shaft has him eager and twitching in his palm yet he's just addicted to the feeling of how warm and wet you feel.

pressing a chaste kiss to his lips and rubbing his tip against your entrance makes his head spin. His hips against yours he watches as your soaked and tight walls envelope him with a choked moan "you feel so good" he says as he presses forehead against yours which makes you giggle. As he pushes into you deeper and slowly you whine your legs without a second thought push his hips into you deeper earning a gasp at your own actions "fuck" you moan at the feeling.

"Such a slut, can't even wait for me to be inside you all the way huh?" He says rhetorically as he begins to thrust into your sharply, your moans are the only thing egging him on to keep going while your hands rest against his shoulders; nails begging to drag against his skin.

Your warm puffs of breath against his face has him in a trance. You smelled of cigarettes and cherries and it was so intoxicating for Jeno who's hands greedily need your hips as he drags them against his. The sound of skin against skin in the air made Jeno's eyes roll back. "So good" you babble as your head falls back against the pillow. Your hair was scattered against the leaning space for Jeno to kiss and mark your neck with purple and red splotches.

"Yeah? I fuck you good right?" He says as he pulls your legs over his shoulders and hits a new spot that makes your jaw slack and mind go blank. "Tell me. Tell me how good I fuck you y/n" he demands making you moan even louder "you fuck me so good Jeno I swear" you whine as your nails drag against his skin leaving behind red trails in their wake.

The bed thumps against the dry wall as your moans cover the sound. The sight of Jeno over top of you with a clench jaw and your legs on his shoulders as you clench around him tighter. The sight of his hair falling over his face as sweat begins to trickle against his skin under the red and blue hues from the window.

"You're so big" you slur seeing how good he filled you up to the brim your arms wrap around his neck your foreheads pressed together as you watch him begin to slowly move. Jeno couldn't get enough of the sight as his cock disappeared inside your Pussy.

His cock buried deep inside you that you moan and dig crescent shaped dents into his skin. set a pace for grinding against his lap. The feeling of your velvety walls tightening around making him choke back a moan.

"Oh- god" you whisper shakily. His hands holding onto your hips guiding a pace, the sound of skin slapping with your small moans could be heard throughout the room.

You looked so good with your chest bouncing and your hair all messy. You looked good with a small sheen of sweat on your skin and your makeup smeared, he was addicted to the sight.

Stopping his hips completely and pulling out you whine at the feeling of emptiness "lay on your stomach" he says his tone low and raspy making you not miss a step as you roll over onto your stomach and propping your knees into the mattress.

Arching your back gives Jeno the perfect sight of your ass. You could feel his palm caressing and needing your skin before giving it repeated harsh slaps that had you quivering. Nothing compared to the beautiful stinging feeling on your skin given by him.

"Want you inside me so bad" you mumbled as your fingers grip the sheets, you were so needy that you were dripping down your thighs and it didn't take much for Jeno to run his tongue over his lips and grab onto your hips pushing his tip against you again letting him bottom out fully.

The sharp grip he had on your hips kept you grounded as he set a steady pace that had you panting and moaning. Hearing yourself made your face heat up, dropping your head into the sheets hoping to muffle the pleasure falling from your lips.

"Don't get all shy on me now" Jeno says as his hand pulls your hair into a makeshift ponytail, pulling your head away from the sheets "I wanna hear you. Don't hide from me" he says breathily as his thrusts become more sharp and the sound of him pounding into you was hard not to hear.

"I can't help it. It's too good" you slur your words as you begin to bounce and grind against him to meet his hips. It felt like he was in your stomach and you didn't mind at all, your hands clutching the sheets tighter as he used his other hand to wrap around your throat.

"Aw look at you, all fucked out. What would your boss think about me bending you over in my bed and fucking you like a slut hm?" He asks as his grip around your throat tightens, you couldn't even gather your words as he hits a spot that has you breathing shakily and your moans are even more louder.

"Right here? Does it feel good here?" He asks as he drags his cock against that same spot again and again "yeah, it feels so fucking good Jeno" you moan as your eyes roll back. The feeling of his sweet lips on your skin as you feel like you're in heaven.

Your thighs are practically shaking at the feeling, pleasure practically taking over your body as Jeno pounds you into his mattress without a single care in the world. Pushing your face against sheets while he becomes sloppy and rougher with every passing second you could feel the pressure in the pit of your stomach growing and waiting to be released.

"I can't take it" you moan as you shake your head "I'm gonna cum" you whimper as you feel warm tears slide down your cheeks. "I think you can baby, you wanna cum so bad right? So take what I give you" he orders sweetly in a faux tone. His thrusts are non stop and you can't help but let the pleasure envelope you.

"Oh fuck" you gasp as the feeling of release comes closer "cum on my cock. I know you can" he coos at you while pulling your hips into his harder than before tipping you over the edge as your walls clench around him sporadically earning a guttural moan ripping through Jeno's throat.

"I'm close, where do you want it?" He asks as he continues to fuck into you "inside. Please cum inside me Jeno" you whimper before you feel the pressure in your stomach let loose "I got you, you're okay" he praised as his fingers rubbed down your spine leaving goosebumps up and down your body.

A few more thrusts slow and deep have your toes curling and sending Jeno into an orgasm struck daze. "Fuck you feel so good" he groans as his hands rub against the red warm skin of your ass. Leaning of you and kissing up your spine as you both bask in your pre orgasm clarity.

Pulling out you turn over and lay on your back Jeno following suit on the other side of the bed still wracking his brain he lazily turns to look at you "please tell me you'll stay the night" he whispers and it makes your heart soar in your chest "I'll stay however long you want" you mumbled as you move closer towards him basking in his warmth.

©neopercs

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

I think if Soos got a glimpse of the kind of home life Pacifica has he would be like "Nope!" And do his best to yoink her right out of there. Cue chase sequence starring attack peacocks!

I would like to present for your consideration- The Mystery Shack Crew: Fall, Winter, and Spring Edition!

Soos Ramirez!

Mr. Mystery himself! Owner, tour guide, salesman, chief handyman, and proud boyfriend of Melody! He's living his best life. He takes the crew out on adventures every once in a while to find inspiration for new attractions, and often they come back with evidence of actual cryptids. Not that the average tourist can tell the difference. There's a lot of classic Stan-isms around the Shack, but he's running it all in his own Soos-y way. The place has become a lot more popular with kids since he took over.

Melody Lastname!

Cashier, bookkeeper, and proud girlfriend of Mr. Mystery! Soos insists that she fits right in with this place because she's "literally too awesome to not be magical, dude". It's a weird job, probably the weirdest she's had, but she has fun and she likes the people there. She adapts to the supernatural incredibly fast, and she and Soos are working on making an updated version of the journals based on Ford and Dippers notes. This time it's more in the vein of an instructional guide to safely interacting with the various phenomena in Gravity Falls. (Candy has insisted that they make pamphlet versions as well as guidebooks.)

Wendy Corduroy!

Same as always. She stays working at the Shack through her last years of high school, and is having a blast working for Soos. Her job performance has gone way up since he took over lol. Stan totally isn't bitter about it. She and Melody both man the cash register, but mostly Wendy works on operating and managing the attractions and shows. She and the Multibear have a whole deal where they pretend to wrestle to the death in a bimonthly performance. The Multibear doesn't really want or need money, so Wendy pays him back by playing bodyguard whenever the Manotaurs send a newbie to go and kill him. She has tons of deals like this set up.

Pacifica Northwest!

Pacifica is doing both better and worse. Her parents have gotten more strict and tense since they lost their fortune, and Pacifica has looked for more ways to stay out of the house. She worked at Greasy's for a while with Susan, but that really pissed off her parents (they're even more stringent with their public image now, and are offended that their daughter would be working at all, let alone at a diner like some common townsperson.) It stopped being a safe space for her after they found out about it. Luckily, Soos was there! He offered to let her hang out at the Mystery Shack, explaining how crucial it was in his own childhood. She was reluctant at first, but agreed. Turns out the environment cultivated at the Shack by the other three is exactly what she needed. She hangs out with Wendy a lot, she's basically her "being a normal kid" tutor. Soos and Melody also insist on giving Pacifica the full dumb kid stuff experience, everything from tacky animatronic restaurants to Lazer tag. She's not the best at expressing it, but she's super grateful for everything. Also turns out she's a natural with numbers, so she helps Melody with the books sometimes. It feels good to be good at something beyond the surface.

[ieatangstforbreakfast]

Pairing ೃ⁀➷ 𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝟒𝟐! 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬 x Fem! Reader

Summary ೃ⁀➷ Lovers have secrets of their own, no matter how much they come to trust each other, whether it be a past mistake or an unspoken trauma. For you and Miles, however, your secrets came in the form of hidden identities— one being a masked vigilante, and the other a mastermind.

Genre ೃ⁀➷ Forbidden love, mutual pining, angst♡

Tags ೃ⁀➷ Both are artists, reader is from a very wealthy family, both are living double lives, underaged smoking, reader is female and uses she/her pronouns, forbidden love (ish?), swearing, daddy issues, mommy issues, reader is unhinged, both are mentally unstable, lots of flirting.

Author's Note ೃ⁀➷ l went through like a fuck ton of shit [Broke up with my boyfriend of two years, entrance exam, and uh I lost some friends] and 2024’s barely started lol sorry for the late update, i am,,, extremely deep in hurting 👍

Tag list ೃ⁀➷ @sakura-onesan @coffeeandtealol @luvjunie @noetophat @proudgojofucker @depresssedcowboy @adorefavv @l0starl @your-girl-mj @nyumeii @iheartamajiki @yoluv-tiannaaa--212 @bakauwu @callsignwidow

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟐: 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐎𝐧 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬

Summary ೃ⁀➷ Miles and Eddie make an exchange. A certain nightmare plagues his thoughts. Your insanity unfolds, and so does Miles’ suspicions.

[Warning: Blasphemy, mentioned of fucked up things and crimes, deranged thinking]

MASTERLIST

Previous chapter || Next chapter

“Miles, what would make you hate me?”

The memory was so long ago. Well, to be exact, perhaps it’s been a month or two since it happened. Miles could still so clearly remember the way you leaned your head against the damp wall, your eyes far off into the void of whatever haunted you. At that time, his feelings had been but a spark budding within his chest ever so delicately, a butterfly ripping out of its cocoon in his stomach.

“I don’t know.” Miles whispered into the air. “I don’t think it’s possible to truly hate a person when you know them personally.”

At that moment, you looked at him, with your head half-buried within your hood.

“Why’s that?” You asked, fiddling with the ends of your hoodie.

Miles took a moment to think about how to word his answer.

“When you recognize someone enough to know that they’re not evil people who’d do random shit for shits and giggles, you learn to realize that they’re not really a monster.. At least, not as much as they seem.” His lingering gaze travels towards the ample of your cheek. “I can’t hate you when I know you. You’ve got a name, and you’re somebody’s sister, daughter.. Well, you don’t have to be all that. You just need to be somebody, and you’re somebody to me, and that alone’s the reason why I can never hate you.”

“That’s.. Interesting.” You whispered. “So technically, you humanize your enemies.”

“That’s one weird way to put it, but yeah.”

“But what if it’s a façade?” The words rolled off your tongue seamlessly. “What if.. They’re not exactly the person you thought they were. What if they’ve done more harm than good?”

He thinks about it for a moment.

“It’s not my job to humanize people. People humanize themselves.” Miles answered. “If there’s truly nothing at all about this person that makes them human, or makes me feel like they still have a relatively active conscience inside of them.. I can’t.”

“So you’re saying thay if they’re not human, you’ll hate them?”

“No!” He rapidly shook his head.

“No, ‘cause Miles, I’ll be fair with you. Ion think there’s anything more monstrous than humanity. We are our own enemies. Nothing else causes more pain to a human other than its own body or its own kind, which is why hatred is such a natural thing.”

“Hatred is a natural thing for you, because you grew up only having to think about yourself.”

“Because if not me, then who would?” You spewed. You didn’t mean to sound overtly bitter, but you were. “Unlike you, Miles, my family ain’t the shit. It’s me against the world always— I-If, had I gotten a remote opportunity to care about anyone other than myself, maybe I wouldn’t be this hateful.”

“Well, you got a chance now.”

“How so?”

“You got me.”

You paused, wondering if you’ve heard correctly.

“… I’ve got you?”

Whatever did that statement mean? You’ve heard about a million pick-up lines, but what the hell was this?

“F’course you do. We’re friends.”

Friends.

“Friends?” Just friends?

Miles hums. “Buddies. Amigos.”

Ah, right, that’s how it always starts. Just friends.

Miles snuck his hand into one of his pockets, plucking out something round that you were too lost in your haze to even notice. He seems to fiddle with it for a moment, digging his fingers into its plush before nudging it towards you.

“You want some?”

You turned around and realized he’d peeled you an orange. “.. What.. These are so expensive these days. How’d you even get one?” Your hand reaches out for the fruit, examining its tiny size. You’d heard about the sudden inflation of prices, so fruits inevitably turned into a luxury for most. Miles parts the mandarin and places the larger half on top of your hand.

“.. I stole one from my neighbor’s garden. God did say generous people prosper, so I did him a favor.”

“I’m pretty sure there was a ‘thou shall not steal’ in one of the commandments, Miles.” You laughed, plopping a piece atop your tongue. The tangy, sweet, yet sour flavor bursts right in, making you grimace ever so lightly. “Oh, that’s sour.”

Miles took after you, similarly cringing. “Eugh.”

“It’s probably not all that ripe yet. It’s fine though,” You plopped another into your mouth. “I like oranges— sour things as a whole. They snap me back into life.”

“That sounds sad.” He mumbled, turning to look at you. “Kinda worrying, if you ask me.”

“Well, I wasn’t asking.” You plucked out one of the seeds from your teeth.

“Right, ‘cause you never ask.” Miles took another bite. “You only answer.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know.” Miles shrugged. “I like saying random shit to tick you off.”

You rolled your eyes, trudging your way up from the floor as you staggered from the cold. “Thanks for the orange, Miles.” Running a hand through your hair, you looked out and sighed. He couldn’t help but feel surprised at the lack of your sass.

“You’re welcome, princesa.”

Your brow cringed. “Don’t call me that.”

His finger twitches. He watched as you froze for a moment, turning to look at him. With gentle steps, you approached and leaned down— tufts of your hair brushing against the temple of his forehead. At that moment, he swallows while taking in the scent of your perfume and its ridiculously sweet stench. How could everything about you be so sweet?

You plucked your pen out of his hands. “This is mine.” You reminded of him. Miles didn’t utter a single word til’ your eyes met. Even in the darkness, you saw, but you ignored��� well, rather, you tried to ignore it, but it stung.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

Miles turned his head, forcibly pushing down the butterflies fluttering like haywire in his stomach.

Hands clammy, heart haywire, eyes unable to meet yours.

“Sure, whatever.”

That day ended there, but Miles knew then. He knew.

Eddie Brock couldn't look past the television store, as his eyes were drawn completely to the news. Not that he couldn't afford a paper, or a gadget of his own— he was simply nervous, figdety, and this ominous pit that holed itself into his stomach unnerved him like a pig carved up for the butcher. He'd known of the news already, honestly, something along the lines of the daily murders and crimes that weren't all too unusual to be fair, and rather than the screen's bright technicolored themes, he was hyper focused entirely on one thing.

The face of Will Barlowe, the almighty senator. Eddie had long been staring at that man's creased, brown skin and slick, blonde hair that was fading into this falsified shade of platinum all because of his whitening strands.

Damn the rich, all of them.

Eddie was no one, like everyone else. A drop of water in the ocean, a needle in a haystack. He was one, like the rest, with the hard workers who carried the economy with their white, blue, pink-collared jobs. He thrived, initially, three years ago. He was an activist then— a journalist in a crisp collared shirt and black dress pants, warning the young about the dangers of climate change, and speaking outwardly in regard to politics.

Now, he was nothing more but a wrinkled jacket-wearing, eccentric and amusing conspiracy theorist scraping the tiniest bits of his dignity to post videos on Facebook or Youtube shorts about how fucked up and dystopian America's grown to become.

When the Prowler, the younger one, decidedly linked him a location allegedly shared by the elites, Eddie wanted to think of it as a chance to shine, to end everything once and for all, and to avenge Anna. For Anna, and for what could’ve been their happy, serene life. But when he arrived, painstakingly clad in plaid while forging the identity of a lost tourist, he was disappointed entirely to find out that the warehouse had been burnt down.

He could still recall the charcoaled crevices of what could’ve been his salvation— that masked boy, the Prowler, promised him salvation in a what-could’ve-been some rich guy’s attempt of a house barbecue.

“Did I make ya wait long?”

A voice reminiscent of a growl. That same shade of neon magenta lingered, popping like a change of color in the melancholy of great Harlem. Eddie tries not to look, but the presence of the boy simmered like fire even as he hung like a spider from the ceiling. He was always like that— the Prowler. The boy was a tall, lanky thing who walked and talked suave. Dominican, he initially assumed. Eddie figured this little vigilante was likely a high schooler with hopes consequently dimmed by the recession.

“Nope.” Eddie attempted to appeal cooly, instead, he only crumbled more. “I’d been watching the news this whole time, tryna check if there was anything about the fire.”

He hears a metal click. “They prolly wouldn’t say nothin’. See, if they didn’t wanna hide it, it’d be all over the television. But it ain’t there, so that means the Chávez’s are hiding the fire from the other families. They prolly paid the witnesses to keep their mouths shut or bribed all the television networks to say it’s some barbecue party gone bad.”

A few passersby couldn’t help but squeak at the sight of the infamous vigilante hanging from a store sign, but they all seemed to know better than approaching him. Trouble was wherever he was, after all, or something the daily bugle said along those lines. They shared glances, sure. Curious, amused glances like how people would marvel at a lion in a zoo.

“It’s,” Eddie finally looked at him. “it’s something ‘bout the Chávez’s?”

With a momentary pause, the Prowler released his grip from the metal poles and dangled down for a second before decidedly letting his feet hit the ground. He was tall— truly, around an inch or two taller than grouchy Eddie. His braids seemed much longer than he’d last seen them. Did he recently get them redone?

“.. That’s right.” Prowler hummed. “.. But we might wanna move some place else to have this conversation, Mr. Brock.”

And where the cat went, curiosity followed down as it made its way to the dark alleyways.

Eddie had a million questions, like any other normal being. The Chávez’s, the Primos, the Barlowes, the Fisks, the Osborns, and all of the other wealthy families connected to one another were all listed down on his kill bill naturally, and he’d been dreaming about the day of crossing out their names with ink made from their blood. Cliché, but a threat either way. Eddie wasn’t a writer, but a journalist anyways. Creativity in terms of wording his hatred was limited and it wasn’t his forte.

“In your past facebook post, you mentioned the Chávez’s briefly,” The boy began, halting by the corner dampened by rain. “I need information about the whole family.”

“… Aren’t you supposed to know the basic information about your enemies?”

“If it were that easy, I wouldn’t be needing your help.” The two white shapes that proxied as his eyes narrowed, grimacing ever so lightly. “There’s little information about them in the black market, and within the scarcity, most of them aren’t factual.”

“They’re rich enough to be able to squander their wealth on silencing people,” Eddie kicked at a can. “Of course no one knows, but I do.”

“How so?”

Picking at something in between his cheek, Eddie sighed a long sigh.

“… My wife worked as their private attorney.”

He watched the boy take a step back. “.. Your wife?”

“Yeah.” Eddie nodded. “My wife, Anna. She was taught to keep silent about their crimes, and to find a loophole in every case.” A lump formed in his throat.

The Prowler stared. He couldn’t make out whether it was an empathetic or judgmental one. “.. So your wife covered up the Chávez’s crimes?”

“A part of it.” Eddie mumbled. “There’s more to the elite than we know, Anna had to burn her files after every case, so she couldn’t snitch or post them after she quits.”

His head turns. “… I see.”

He sees the boy shift, weirdly, fidgety. He couldn’t particularly describe the unease this young vigilante conveyed. It was almost like he was on the verge of asking something, but his mask made it harder to read what he was desperate to know about.

“.. So can you tell me?”

A simmering silence sunk into the gaps of their conversation.

“What’s in it for me?” Eddie asked, knowing he shouldn’t have, as it was obvious and painstakingly accusatory.

“Why do we have to have transactions when it comes to justice?”

Eddie paced. “Capitalism.”

“Fair point.” The Prowler sighed, rocking on the ends of his neon shoes. “Well, what d’ya want?”

Eddie thinks, and thinks. What could a conspiracy theorist— no, a journalist want? Could he ask for a man’s death? The head of Barlowe? The head of Chávez? Or could that only be achieved after this gamble? He looked at this boy, and Eddie pictured this teenager basking his hands in blood.

What would make him any different from the elites?

“… When you went to the warehouse, you guys.. Took evidence? Even a USB, right?”

He stared. “Yeah, we dug it up and we tried sending it to every news outlet we could find.. All of them rejected the information.”

“Why?” Eddie furrowed his brow. “Was the information incomplete? Did you send the evidence beneath a credible name as a source?”

“Credible name?”

“Yeah, if the information comes from a credible source, they might do something about it. Likewise, if the information is complete, they might take the risk, after all, the Chávez’s are old money, and they have a lot of influence in regard to politics. If they publish anything against them, without complete information, or if you’re just a bunch of trespassers regarded as criminals by the media,” Eddie held out a finger. “Someone will get shot.”

The boy swallowed.

“If not you, if not your partner, it’s the journalist. Always the journalist.”

And Eddie’s seen too much of his co-workers wound up as mere victims in a headline. ‘Journalist shot dead.’

And he didn’t want his name to be reduced to a John Doe in one of the many causes people are too afraid to fight for.

“… I’ll tell you all about the Chávez’s, if you give me the records you stole from the warehouse.”

The Prowler stood, seemingly caught up in his thoughts for a moment. “.. Okay, but I’m telling you, don’t make a large move without consulting me first.”

“I still want my head attached to my head, of course I’ll consult y’all first.” Eddie chuckled, his fingers pouring into his pockets. “Then, what do you want to know about the Chávez’s?”

Without missing a beat, he answered.

“You can give me all you got. Recent scandals, fuck ups.. Perhaps, you got anything from the collapse of the Aureum building three years ago?”

“The Aureum building,” Eddie echoed, reminiscing like a veteran released from war. “That was the messiest thing I’ve ever witnessed in the last ten years. The lawsuits, the bribes, and the social media mayhem—“

“The deaths.” Miles cringed, remembering his father. “Surely, that was the most fucked up thing.”

“Aside from the architecture? Sure.” Eddie pulled out a box of cigars from his pocket, wringing out a single stick. “Weak scaffolding, quick-dry cement.. Put two and two together, and everything collapsed as soon as the opening began.”

Miles wallowed, grimacing at the sight of the habit. “Could it have been planned?”

With a flick of his lighter, Eddie took one breath in and sighed. “Could? There’s no ‘could’, boy, it was planned.”

Planned? Planned by who?

Were the Chávez’s really masters at self-sabotage? Or were their enemies really just each other?

“You see, the Chávez’s specialize in human trafficking, slave trade, and child labor. The people they ship work tirelessly for other businesses without a fee— because we, you and I and the rest of us who had the freedom to earn education, refused to work under hellish circumstances and poor environments. Without us, precisely, without the poor, the rich are nothing.”

“Then the Aureum building?”

“The Aureum building was a cover-up for a bigger scandal.” Eddie tilted his head. “The people inside were likely witnesses, or people who knew about the human trafficking.. And when the building collapsed, they sued the construction companies involved, got the money, but damaged their reputation.. And I don’t see why they’d do all of that just to damage their reputation.”

Miles pondered and pondered.

“.. It was probably someone from inside the family who planned everything.”

“That’s what I think so too.” Eddie added, blowing off another puff of intoxicating smoke. “Someone who won’t suffer from the damaged reputation.. Yet someone who still manages to benefit from it all financially.”

“… Could it be.. Any one of the siblings?”

Eddie takes a step back, likely thinking about it. “.. Well, the other one’s in London, the other one’s too stupid, and the last’s a minor.”

“Minor?” Miles repeated. “How young are we talking?”

“.. Well, the last time I heard about the girl.. She was thirteen, and it’s been three years since then, so she’s probably fifteen to sixteen.”

It’s not as though a thirteen year old could possibly plan out such a meticulous plan… Well maybe, or maybe not, it’s not as though Miles was the only genius capable of great things.

“You know any of their names?”

“Names.” Eddie furrowed his brow. “The last girl’s protected by the law, since it’s illegal to paparazzi minors.. But the first two are Montrell and Anthony.”

Montrell. Mon. Three children. Two older brothers. One girl. Sixteen, sixteen years old just like you.

Miles swallowed.

It’s as though he could feel your hands blocking your vision, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

He falters, alerting Eddie. “What’s wrong?”

“.. My head just hurts.” He mumbled, turning his head. “I think I kinda overworked myself. I still got a date.. Need to.. Rest.”

“Date?” Eddie blew. “That’s right. You’re quite famous, ain’t you?”

Miles rolled his eyes, able to freely express his distaste for the supposed compliment behind his mask. “I try not to be, don’t wanna make her think about it too much. The broad shoulders don’t help as much, though.”

“She know all ‘bout your..” With his cigarette squeezed between his ring, Eddie gestured at him. “Your little vigilante thing?”

Leaning his head against the brick wall, Miles crossed his arms and shrugged. “She better not. Don’t wanna make her daddy even madder.” He lowers his gaze a bit, his mask naturally zooming into the title of Eddie’s cigarette box. It was the same brand as your brother’s, likely a different flavor. Mint or something. Everyone around him smoked too much.

“She from the finer part of York or what?”

“The finest.” He recalls your brother’s luxury car. “.. But I think she’s tryna hide it.”

Eddie plucks the cigar out his teeth, a sort of accusatory yet mundane expression scribbled all over his scruffy face. Eventually, he laughs it off. “That’s all of what’s wrong with our society. The poor pretend to be rich and the rich pretend to be poor. They like romanticizing poverty but likely won’t be able to find comfort if they walked in our shoes for ‘bout a damn mile.”

“She ain’t nun like that.” Miles butted in. “She’s sweet, my girl. Cruel, sometimes, but that’s how ladies gotta be from time to time— seeing as how the world fucks them up every now and then.”

“.. That your first date?” Eddie asked.

“I guess. We’re kissing, but we got no label.”

Eddie scoffed an old man’s scoff. “Your generation’s got me fucked up. Y’all and your situationship bullshittery.”

“It ain’t like that.”

“It’s always like that.” Eddie narrowed his eyes. Miles similarly cringed, wondering how Eddie could be so bitter— having to remind himself seconds later that the man’s poor wife was dead. Dead as hell. As dead as his father. “If she can’t even be upfront about her wealth, she’s likely hiding something from you.”

“My man, I’m lucky she even looked my way. You know nun ‘bout her, don’t be like that.”

“And what if she’s from the oligarchy, huh?” Eddie exaggerated. “What if she’s a Fisk? A Barlowe? Hell, even worse, what if she’s a Chávez?”

Miles didn’t reply.

As the puff of smoke emanated through the damp air, suddenly, Miles pictured you holding a cigarette while grinning at him wickedly— and somehow, that tantalizing air.. Suited you like the slip of a glove.

“I’m just kidding w’ya, man.” Eddie laughed, flicking the cigarette away, crushing it with the sole of his wrinkled boot.

“Ain’t funny, Ed.” Miles grumbled. “People I loved died in Aureum.”

“But she’s still rich, though. You can never be too sure ‘bout the kind of secrets her family’s keeping. If push comes to shove, will you still be able to love her if you do find out that her family’s fucked up?”

“Stop it.” He angrily seethed. “Stop.”

Eddie watched with a certain stank in his eye.

“… Y’know, there’s a rumor that one of the Chávez kids are illegitimate.”

.. Miles left seconds after.

It’d not been his greatest day, and earnestly speaking, his gut’s been clamoring at him to listen, only for him to reject its pleas. He’d thought about listening— to whatever higher being was calling upon him to stray away from you.

His Mama told him to pray throughout his struggles. She’d not been a zealot, his mother. But she was no stranger to the novena, to pray and to call for help in such long days. He’d been subjected to it early on: the novenas, the masses, the lingering of frankincense in the air. Though she never truly coerced him to participate in the church, Miles simply titter-tottered throughout those dull Sunday evenings.

He didn’t want some higher being to stop him from becoming a horrible person; Miles wanted to be good on his own accord.

But you.. You made him question. Not you, but himself.

Though his dad always told him to question everything while he’s young, Miles couldn’t question you. How could ever question you?

An illegitimate child. Which one was it?

Your brothers, who had everything?

Or you, who had nothing?

And although Eddie left the alleyway unscathed, Miles felt that blood had stained his hands.

And you could still taste blood in your mouth.

You could still hear the crunch of that man’s neck echoing in your ears, his tiny pleads of self-preservation before the snap to his death. It rang and rang behind your eyes, between your ears, like a haunting melody you couldn’t help but repeat.

The memory of his fear merely energized your veins, but left you gawking in dauntness even as you worked your way through the hotel— showing Montrell the ropes and tending to the preparations for the upcoming charity event. The snap, the way it snapped— the way his neck snapped was a musical lyric that pulsed and pulsed in your mind.

Snap.

Snap.

ＳＮＡＰ.

The idea of fear intrigued you, cannibalism, however, not so much. The symbiote immensely argued with you, that it wasn’t your body in particular feasting on human flesh, but the symbiote itself. It needed to be fed, and it needed sustenance— but you didn’t know where else to find that sustenance.

“Miss?” Charlotte, the head housekeeper called out to you, snapping you back from the profanities of your mind.

Suddenly, you’re back staring at the new, tall, stained-glass windows— basking you in the glory of pale lights in shades of ethereal yellow and blue. It’s been under construction for quite a while now, but after your father had approved of the idea, you were willing to wait long enough to see its outcome. You’d only gotten the news just a few hours ago in regard to its completion, and now you’ve been staring at it for a while now.

“Yes?” You stifled airily, wallowing in a hundred emotions.

Charlotte bows her head for a moment, unveiling an approaching guest.

Before you could even process to question who it was, Montrell and his gentle eyes appeared before you. He seems to marvel at the windows before you as he takes another step up the stairs.

“Wow,” He huffed. “Is this.. Your design?”

You simply looked at the window with crossed arms and a smile. “I couldn’t forget about the windows when we went to Veronica’s wedding. I liked.. The colors and the drama it endowed.” You smiled, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “.. This was my final project in the hotel.. I’ve done so much to rebrand everything, but we still can’t do much ‘bout what happened in the past.”

The lights dawned upon the both of you.

“Does it hold any special meaning?” He asks.

You shrugged. “It varies on the person, I guess. I think, those who don’t really know me will try to put meaning into all that I do, but those who really know me know that my art is plainly.. Meant for aesthetic.”

Montrell frowned. “How can you make art without passion?”

“.. You pick up a pen.” You carved a smile. “And you just draw.”

You draw, and you draw. Carved it in, like how a knife would pierce a sack of flesh. Murder the canvas with each stroke, and if they ask you ‘why?’, answer with ‘why not?’.

“I think.. Only Miles can place meaning in my art. After all, my passion resides in him.”

“Like a proxy.” Montrell darkly laughed, shaking his head. “.. I wonder how hard you’d break once you lose him.”

You turned your head to look at your brother’s charming face.

“Is that a threat?”

“A warning,” He remarked. “After all, how could he ever love you once he realizes that our family’s responsible for his father’s death?”

You turned your head back to the windows. “… I feel guilty, actually. I don’t really know how to approach Miles if he ever comes to realize my identity.”

“.. Don’t you feel lonely having to constantly push away the people you love?”

You shrugged. “I’m a pretty girl. Pretty girls are never lonely.”

“Sure.”

Montrell looked at you. To be precise, he eyed you, and he looked at the way you casted your eyes downward. From a mile away, one would believe you fostered insecurity and shame in the way you’d stare, but knowing you and the way you were, that downcast gaze of yours imbued disinterest and a heightened sense of.. Superiority.

No matter how hard you try to appear empathetic, you were always and inevitably still a Chávez. Even in the way you pursed your rouged lips, or spoke with eloquence, or held your head high.. You and your siblings, who were forged to become heartless from the beginning, were never bound to be kind.. Or good.

But could Miles do it?

Could he actually change you? Humanize you?

Make you kind and loving, and normal?

You tightened your grip over your arm. “I.. Was going to escape tonight, originally.. For our date. He wanted us to have a halloween date. It’s so dorky. He’s so dorky.” The way you fawned was genuine, though. He could see it so clearly. “But after daddy mentioned the USB, I didn’t know how to face him without feeling guilty.. I came to meet Miles with the intention of using him to get his dead dad’s stuff but I ended up.. Falling for him. I never knew I was capable of feeling like this.”

“.. When we’re too busy to survive, it feels frustrating to have to care for someone else. That’s why our family doesn’t feel like one.” Montrell whispered.

“We’re not a Greek tragedy.”

“Exactly, which would mean,” He turns to you. “You’re likely still savable, [N/n].”

You lightly winced. “.. I haven’t heard that nickname since I was twelve.”

Your brother chuckles at the reminder. “.. We called you that since you couldn’t pronounce your name when you were three.” Montrell heaved a long breath, as though he were a dreamer reminiscing the times. Ah, he truly is a sucker for what’s long gone, huh? “Antonne and I were so excited to have you. Your first word was my name, actually, Mon. I had to sneak up into your cradle every night just to make you practice say my name. Mama used to hold you in her arms whenever I got home from school, and she used to read out my cards with you in her other hands ‘cause you were one energetic kid.”

Oh, so like a normal family?

We were capable of having that this whole time?

…

“[Y/n]?”

You snapped yourself back to reality, Montrell’s voice leading you out of your internal monologue. “Did you hear my question?” He queried. “You kinda zoned out there.”

“Sorry, I was thinking ‘bout something. You were saying?”

“Once you get the USB.. Are you going to leave him?”

The question seemed far fetched from the previous topic, which caught you off-guard. You turn your head. “.. I don’t know. I’d rather make him hate me, and have him leave me first, because I don’t think I can ever bring it upon myself to leave him.”

Such a romantic.

“Do you think you can handle it?”

“.. It’s not a question of whether I can handle it, it’s a question of whether Miles can handle it.”

Montrell murmured. “.. What if he gets revenge?”

“Revenge?” You repeated, the idea sounding funnily dramatic. “Revenge on me? I didn’t throw that building over his father’s head.”

“Ah, yes, but there’s a thing called karma.” Montrell spoke as thought to remind you. “It’ll be out there to get you, or at least, that’s what I’ve heard.”

You couldn’t help but aimlessly ponder. “… Why do poor people believe in futile things such as karma?”

The way you worded it, and the way it exited your tongue seemed unusually natural. Montrell, who’s been too used to such words, only shrugged. “Cause there’s nothing else to save them. That’s why they have a god, [Y/n]. They can’t save themselves, and so that’s why they believe something otherworldly will.”

Before you could speak, Montrell looked out into the glass windows before turning to you.

“Speaking of which, I think you should use daffodils for the upcoming party.”

“.. Daffodils?” You repeated.

Your brother nods. “Yes. I find them to be quite lovely.”

Since when did he have an interest in flowers? You internally squirmed. “Where the hell am I going to get daffodils in autumn?” You groaned. “We can use other yellow flowers for the golden theme.”

“Well, you’re not in charge anymore.” Was his attempt of a tease. “Surely there are still daffodils here in this season. We’ll have to find the best greenhouse in town.”

“But why?”

“Because I said so.”

You sweetly casted a glance at him, smiling as a thought crowed at you.

A sharp pain shoots through Miles’ head. A pulsing, familiar pain— resembling a bullet, dove straight into his subconscious.

He stumbles back as darkness clouds his vision, a sort of slithering and slimy feeling coursing through his system like a snake seething beneath his skin. His heart was hammering against his chest. It was like that time during the warehouse, where he felt genuinely uneasy and unsettled. The eyes of that figure behind the window, watching him tremulously stare back.

In the cage of his mind, Miles finds himself inside a dark void— where the silence was loud enough to hear the sound of a pin drop.

Then there was this drumming.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The melody was unfamiliar, but the voice nostalgic. Miles crawled amidst the darkness, searching for the voice, only to look up and catch the sight of a pristine, delicately made shoe. It kicked against the front of a desk, making a rhythmic pattern. Thump. Thump. Thump. With each passing moment, his eyes continued to linger upward, from the shoe, to a leg, to a waist, to your pretty face.

You sat there, above the desk, with your pretty hair and your pretty eyes, puckering up your pretty lips along with the song. You were so idly calm, so leisure while singing so softly, he could hardly make out the words exiting your mouth. A dim, green light cascaded against the silhouette of your figure, further accentuating the pink of your lips and the darkening of your gaze.

You smiled, but your eyes held nothing. Like you never knew what kindness was, even in his presence. You never looked at him like that before— like you hated him enough that you wanted him to die.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The thumping was growing faster and faster with each second. Upon seeing his struggle, a stifled laugh laces the lyrics.

Miles tried to move, but his whole body writhed in pain— like he was beaten, defeated. His arms itched in burns and scars. With the sound of your hum, Miles looks up, only to see you cross your arms before your chest, the tip of your shoe gently grazing against the skin of his temple. He feels as though he was being watched, idly, by an audience that had no interest at all in intervening. Like everyone was amused to see him.. Kneeling before you.

Click. Click. Click. The cutter clicked in your palm as the blade rose higher.

It’s like your presence alone was enough to blind him, and his conscience kept crawling back to you no matter how hard it tries to stray.

Really, who are you, [Y/n]?

Why was it whenever you lingered in his dreams, you were the cruelest person to exist?

And why was it that Miles knew that he’d probably still adore you with your hands around his neck?

“.. Miles?”

From a gentle shuffle, Miles awoke to the sound of his mother’s voice.

Miles jolted up, his skin half drenched with cold sweat. Unfortunately enough, his awakening was nothing avian. On the contrary, his awakening felt like a somber chore. The material clung onto him like glue, making him utter a groan. For a while, he helplessly looked around like a child lost between rows of linoleum aisles, his mind hopping from question to question. 'What just happened? What was I dreaming of?'

Like some hungover drunkard, he gently peeled himself away from the sweat-stained sheets and begrudgingly sat upright. Rio’s gentle hand cradled his aching head.

“Rest, mijo, you’re exhausted.”

“Mama, I—“ He broke, running a damp hand over his head. For a moment, he flinches, checking to see if his hands were covered in blood. “What happened?”

His mother’s dark curls lightly brushed against his temple. Her eyes were just as exhausted as he was, with dark circles rimming the doeness of her gaze. “I got home to you taking a nap but you kept squirming. I was so worried. Que paso?”

He looked around, realizing he’d dropped himself unconscious atop the sofa.

“.. Nightmare.”

Night terrors, to put it precisely. It’s been haunting him since the death of his father three years ago. He thought they’d long vanished after meeting you, but after his suspicions arose, his anxiety came crawling back like a dreadful stench.

Rio handed him a glass of water, to which he gulped down to its very last drop— like he’s been thirsting for all his life.

“Mama,” He called out. “… What do I do?”

His loving mother creased her brow, shaking her head. “What is it, mijo? What’s wrong?”

He runs his hand over his face, wondering how to begin. At that moment, Miles recalls your sweetest smiles, your loudest laughs, and your warmest hugs.

You held his hand, dragged him out of that maze, and you vandalized the hotel together. You tore yourself away from the expectations of your family, and went to him.

You chose him.

But could he go so far to assume that you loved him?

Rio shifted comfortably, trying to appear more welcoming to whatever catastrophe Miles was about to unleash. “What’s wrong, Miles?”

Miles couldn’t even admit it to himself, though he’d long noticed, he preferred to remain ignorant ‘til the truth was spilled from your own lips.. But he didn’t know how much longer he could last. Blood runs thicker than water, but both feel the same when your eyes are closed— and that could mean many things.

“A lot, ma.” He buried his head into his hands. “And Ionno if I could deal with it all.”

“You don’t have to deal with everything, Miles.” Rio frowned. “You’re only fifteen. Eres demasiado joven. Con el tiempo todo se arregla.”

“Me duele la cabeza.”

“Ponte vaporub.” Rio stood to grab the small, blue ointment. As she unscrews its green cap, Miles was immediately hit with its loud, minty scent. Digging her fingers into the substance, Rio smears the vaporub all over Miles’ forehead. “Sana sana colita de rana, si no sana hoy, sanará mañana.”

He lightly moved away with a sigh. “I’m not a kid anymore, ma.”

“I’m your mother, you’ll always be my kid.” As the cooling sensation sunk into his skin, he felt his mother’s palm cup his cheek. “And since you’re my kid, I always get worried about you. I know we ain’t got nothing much, but we got each other, Miles. You’re a great kid bound to achieve great things.”

He wasn’t too sure about that. That whole great kid thing. You had your fingers entangled all over his puppet strings, and it made him hesitate.

But what if that was exactly your plan? To ruin him entirely for your benefit?

“.. Ma, what would you do if the person you liked lied to you about their identity?”

Rio sat in silence.

“.. Que?”

Ah, fuck. That’s a stupid question.

“Nothing.” Miles turned his head. “Sorry, that was a stupid question—“

“No, Miles. I didn’t mean to— I just, you like someone? A girl?”

Miles shifted uncomfortably. Rio softened. “A boy?”

“No, ma!” He exclaimed, embarrassed. “I-It’s a girl. I like a girl.. Por los clavos de Cristo.”

“Oh, I was preparing myself.” Rio placed a hand over her heart. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d accept you no matter what, I just didn’t have a long wonderful speech prepared for it.. But what’s wrong with the girl?”

“Well, ma, it’s just..”

“Did she cheat on you!?”

“No! We’re not even together yet, ma. We were gonna have our first date today, but.. But her family’s been treating her horribly, and her older brother picked her up while we were out buying costumes for our halloween date only for him to directly tell me that it ain’t happening.”

“And then?”

“She talked ‘bout her dad throwing a fit, and now she hasn’t replied the whole day.” He slipped his fingers through his hair. “I even woke up at six in the morning just to get my braids redone at Tasha’s… And they invited me to a party at their house on Sunday.”

“Sunday? Then— that’s great!” Rio exclaimed, placing her hands over her son’s shoulders. “That would mean they’re open to getting to know you. Well, I think you can borrow some of your dad’s old clothes for the party, you two look great in suits anyway.”

“W-Well, ma, that ain’t entirely the problem, she’s..” He swallowed. “Ma, I think she comes from a very rich family.”

“Okay, and?” Rio raised a brow. “Did she ever make you feel inferior for having superior wealth?”

“.. No? Well, she’s been trying to keep it on the down low this whole time, but.. Whenever I see her, she acts so.. Proper and polite when she don’t even notice it. And her brother’s British too, and I— Ionno how the hell that happened, but he sound like the type to spit out tap water if I ever brought him to a restaurant.”

“Well, you’re dating the girl, Miles, not her brother.” Rio sighed. He thinks of it for a moment, then shrugs. Only then he notices his mother’s wide smile, her shoulder nearly glued onto his.

“So.. Who’s the girl?”

Miles fiddled awkwardly, unsure how to answer. Rio seemed adamant for an answer, so, after a while of internally mustering up sentences, Miles replied. “Her name.. [Y/n].”

“Mhm.”

“She uh.. Sixteen. I-I met her three months ago.. And we started doing graffiti together since then.”

“Oh, so she’s an artist?”

Miles gaped. “S… Sum like that, yeah.”

Your art varied. Your colors were blander while his, more vibrant. But there was something about the way you drew, that was so meaningfully realistic that it captured entirely how your mind pondered in its darkest moments. An art style that captured entirely the darkest of what life could bring.

He remembers going through your sketchpads, how your dabbles consisted of dull realism. Maybe it was only dull because it was exactly what New York’s become— cold and calloused.

But in contrast, you were able to set his world on fire in a way he’s never seen. Only you could paint over the dullness with scarlet, in a way that had him choking from the smoke emanating from your fire.

But he couldn’t tell his mother the way you’ve worsened him.

His mother wouldn’t let him get too close to someone as bright and dangerous as you.

“Why haven’t you mentioned about her before? I could’ve helped!” Rio tossed her dark curls to the side. They’d always reminded him of the dark sea. “Es puertorriqueña? Puede hablar español?”

“No,” Miles thinks about it for a minute. “I-Ionno, actually. She never told me anythin’ bout it, but she can’t speak Spanish so I ain’t sure.”

Rio attempted, no she really did try to attempt— to hide her disappointment. Were her grandkids bound to forever be free of her culture? How saddening.

“Pero creo que ella está estudiando español.”

“Oh?”

“Sí.” Mile seemed to lightened up. “She’s so cute. She can’t even pronounce ‘roja’.”

“But she’s trying.” Rio could not be any happier. “She’s trying! Eso es bueno! Ella ya me gusta. Not everyone tries these days, you know.”

He wondered if his mother was faking her enthusiasm just to ease him. He’d expected her to be more.. Angry about it.

“.. I’m surprised you’re not upset, ma.”

“Upset?” Rio furrowed her brows. “Miles, how could I get upset? You’re experiencing what every other teenager experiences, that’s great!.. I know you’ve been trying to act like an adult to help us, and you’ve given up so much just to keep us afloat. I’ve been getting worried that you’ve been focusing too much with adult responsibilities that you’re forgetting that you’re just a kid. You’re allowed to go around and be a kid. You’re allowed to like a girl— so long as she’s not a bad influence.”

Miles pushes back the thought of you being a smoker.

“She’s not a bad influence. She’s.. Just going through a lot.. She makes me happy, ma.”

Rio looked at him proudly. Only then, she wondered if her dearest husband ever brooded like this too upon realizing his feelings for her. She wondered if Jeff ever pouted the way Miles did, and looked out into the world with such admiration in his eyes as though he were shaping the void into an image of her.

Jeff loved, and thus, Miles could love too.

“If she makes you happy, then I’m happy.” She beamed. “So long as she’s not a brat or an alcoholic, or a racist, or any of those bad people, I’ll accept her.”

The mother shared a loving glimpse of her son, making out an image of her late husband in the way he smiled. Suddenly, she pats her lap and stands up. “Bueno, I’m making adobo.”

“I can help—“

“No, sit down, you’re tired.” Rio held out a finger. “Take a rest, Miles.”

“But Ma—“

“Rest.”

And he did.

Well, he tried. It was a subtle attempt. A poor one, at that. He sat upright by the sofa, listening to his mother chop up the potatoes. He tries to discreetly look into your messages, only to find you’ve finally texted back.

her ♡ || two minutes ago.

sorry i haven’t texted!! 😭😭

remember the party this sunday? my dad is making me help with the preparations so i couldn’t go to our date

i’m really sorry 🥺 don’t get mad

if you want, we can do it tomorrow.

Miles pouted. He didn’t want to reply immediately. He didn’t want to look desperate.

So he waited for another five minutes.

.. Even though you made him wait for six hours.

He switches the television on in attempt to distract himself from your message.

‘Last night, a horrific murder happened within Brooklyn, as the body of a beheaded man was discovered outside of a local bodega. Witnesses claim that an alien disguised as a teenage girl had ripped off, and eaten the man’s head.’

“The hell?” Miles burrowed his brows upon being greeted with the news on television. “An alien?”

He watches as the screen switches over towards one of the witnesses, a scruffy man with reddened eyes— evidently too lost in whatever he was taking to speak too calmly.

“.. They’re prolly high as hell.”

‘I’m ain’t even [censored] with y’all— some [censored] ripped off Kyle’s head— it was a horrific looking piece of [censored] made out of black goo or whatever the [censored]. The government’s [censored] making alien [censored]!

‘So far, there have been no records of the scene, as the cameras had been blacked out.’

“What the f—“ Miles grew mindful of his language upon realizing his mother was in the other room. “How the hell did that even happen!? Blacked out my ass.”

It was more or less, likely a murder related to the elites. One of their kids must’ve been hanging out with those junkies and killed a man for fun.

A phone begins to ring. Miles turns his head.

“Miles, can you get that for me?” He heard his mother, who was too busy chopping up something, call out.

He turns off the television, hops out of the sofa and heads straight into his mother’s room. As he flicks the light open, a king-sized bed greets him with its gray, large glory. He used to jump on that bed too much when he was a kid. Now, it looked.. Desolate, and almost deserted. With how large the bed was, he couldn’t help but ponder how lonely his mother must’ve felt, sleeping in a bed less warmer than three years ago.

Miles passes by the closet, and after foraging for a bit, he manages to find his mother’s phone atop a drawer— swiftly grabbing the gadget before turning to leave.

As he turns, his foot accidentally nudges against a box.

He peers through it, before kicking it away.

Making his way back to the kitchen, he hands the ringing phone over to his mother before curtly returning to the room to close the lights.

But as his hands reached out towards the switch, his eyes were drawn back to the sight of the box.

It looked like it’d been cast aside beside the closet.

Hearing his mother speak over the phone lightheartedly, something about something. Miles trudges towards the orange, cardboard box, kneeling by the floor with a single knee down on the wood. His hand curiously glazes over the top, feeling a pile of dust collect over his fingers.

Hesitantly, he takes off the lid, finding a familiar white, collared shirt. He pulls it up to the ceiling light and watches as it unfolds into a larger sheet.

This belonged to his father’s.

He looks right back into the box, finding a pair of black, dress pants neatly folded into a square. Meekly, he tugs on it, hoping he wouldn’t uncover anything sinister like a severed hand or an eyeball. After pulling the whole thing out, a longer line of black unravels.

A strange array of emotions lingered inside him.

Nostalgia. Wrath. Happiness.

It smelled like dust, and it was forever devoid of its owner’s scent and warmth.

“Miles, do you want juice?”

“Huh? Y-yeah.” He stammered. “Grape juice would be nice.”

His mother’s comment slips past his ears. For a moment, he pondered about wearing this to the Sunday party, but he couldn’t help but think how it likely wouldn’t fit him. His father was a giant, and he was quite lanky.

Upon hearing his mother’s footsteps, Miles hurriedly and clumsily attempts to refold the clothes, only then hearing a soft clatter. He pivots his head to the side.

There was a USB.

“For the florals, I think daffodils would be great.”

Your hands skimmed across the air in attempt of drafting an idea. From afar, you manage to earn a wider view of the banquet hall. Workers left and right helped with tidying up the refectory, scrubbing up windows and mopping up the floors. “It would match the golden theme, don’t you think?” You asked of Charlotte, who nodded wobbly with her dire age.

As of that moment, you’d been preparing for the layout of the party. As much as you didn’t want to listen to Montrell’s suggestion, you figured getting on his bad side would be a bad move.

The fundraiser, originally hosted by your aunt, was planned out to gather enough money to support Senator Barlowe’s projects. Your family was to auction off high-priced materials such as clothes, jewelry, paintings, and even estates for the sake of meeting the goal. Which would also mean that the highest of the elite would be attending the party.

And you were less than thrilled to be its co-host.

Charlotte marvels at your suggestion, taking it with a smile but a pique. “However, daffodils can’t usually be placed with other flowers, so I’ll have to make a special request to the florist to do the preparations extensively.”

You raised a brow. “Why can’t they be placed together with other flowers?”

One of the maids carrying a porcelain vase walk past you, making you gently remind her to put it aside.

Charlotte parts her palms. “They secrete toxins into the water. So whenever it’s placed among other flowers, the rest die.”

“Oh,” You widened your gaze, processing this newly found information. “How did you know that?”

Charlotte blinked, trying to think back. “.. Well, daffodils were used for your mother and father’s wedding. It was a struggle, since the day of the wedding, half of the bouquet had already wilted.”

You stood back in surprise, crossing your arms before your chest. “Mama must’ve been furious.”

Charlotte shook her head. “Your father plucked flowers out from the gardens and made her a bouquet himself.”

Wait. What? WHAT?

Wow, who knew your daddy was quite the romantic?

I’m just as shocked as every other person.

“M-My father?” You dumbly repeated. “My father plucked out the flowers himself? Or was it Mr. Nigel?”

“Your father, himself, Miss.” Charlotte laughed, finding your shock to be quite amusing. “He’s quite great at it too— flower arrangement. Your grandmother taught him from an early age.”

“My father truly arranged the bouquet for him and mama’s wedding?” You couldn’t believe your ears. “He has that sort of talent?”

“Why, of course!” She beamed a warm beam. “Like you, he used to oversee the interior of the hotel. He has great taste when it comes to color, and you’ve inherited that side of him.”

You tried to think about it, your father— who was now an old man with a permanent sneer on his wrinkled lip— arranging flowers in his youth, picking out pastel and cream curtains for the parties, and overseeing the menu. It didn’t seem like something he’d do, at all. Then again, your mother used to describe him in a way that made it tragic.

A good man, never a good father. Torn between yearning to be held in arms that never welcomed him and finding his worth beyond the standard of his own father.

You tried to sympathize with him. Your father.

Though he was who he was, he cared about you, in a twisted, fucked-up way. Your engagement with Richard Fisk was privately decided after the hotel went near-bankrupt had it not been for the Fisks and their mystical talent for cover-ups— and your father simply took most of your managing rights away just so the family you’d marry into wouldn’t use you for their own greed.

The fate wasn’t entirely horrible either. You’d marry into new money, sure, but their wealth would most definitely preserve the comfortable life you’re living right now.

It was your own greed that was worsening you.

Your desire to have a tantamount of power.

But what if you never needed it?

“Miss!”

What if all you needed was a peaceful life? Marry into the Fisks, host parties, and care no more about anything?

“Miss [Y/n]!”

.. But what about Miles?

He hadn’t answered any of your texts yet.

“Miss [Y/n], a call.” One of your secretaries came crashing through the doors with his phone. How you hated that word. Call. A signal of what would definitely exhaust you. Where was Montrell? Why weren’t they calling out for him? Were you really the only one able to handle all the messes in here? Workers left and right stopped as he trudged up the stairs, nearly tossing the phone over to you. You slip it close to your ear, making your way down with each click of your heel.

Charlotte watches as you listen to the caller with such intent. Silently, you eyed your surroundings before heading out.

As you reached the patio, you looked out into the dimming violet evening that was fading out along with the scarlet of the sun. The caller rambles on, something along about the recent incident.

“I’ve bribed the higher-ups to rush the investigation and to arrest the witnesses. We’ll release the story that they had murdered their friend after taking drugs.”

“Good.” You plucked out your vape from your pockets. “Report to me immediately once you find all the records about their families and their identities.”

“Understood.” You hear the sound of Morrison’s computer typing. Likely writing up a list. “I’ve also halted the investigation of the fire. I’ve told your father the information was tracked from an accidental leak after a delivery of the samples to one of the families had the address exposed. Sir Anthony will have to take up the blame since it was his idea.”

You took a long huff. “Good job. You did well.”

The smoke lingers, and you close your eyes.

Sorry, Antonne. You’ll live, I guess.

“Morrison,” You called out to him. “.. How’s Miles?”

The typing comes to a halt. For a moment, the two of you shared a moment of silence. You picture him pushing his glasses up higher off the bridge of his nose.

“.. I’ve spent most of my attention on other things, so I haven’t been able to check up on him yet.”

“Ah, is that so?” You mumbled. “Never mind then, just continue on with halting the investigation. I’ll take care of the rest, and remember, if any of the witnesses start describing my face—“

Clack.

You turned your head.

What was that?

ＳＯＭＥＯＮＥ‘Ｓ　ＨＥＲＥ

No shit.

Beyond the gardens, the skies were beginning to dim. That familiar shade of magenta, it lingered like a ghost and it haunted you like your past. There was a click that set your mind off, and suddenly you couldn’t help but feel like the world was integrating itself into a technicolor, dotted comic.

Then and there, spying on you from the top of the six Corinthian columns of the garden, sat the young Prowler.

“Miss [Y/n]? You were saying?” Morrison pried from you.

You parted your phone from you ear, a side of your grin heightening into a catty smirk.

“… If any of them start describing my face, take care of it.”

Then and there, you ended the call with one light tap. You remained stubborn with your posture, seemingly amused and befuddled by it all while keeping your head high. The boy watched you curiously but stiffly, as if he were unsure of what to do. You were mutually frozen, but you couldn’t allow any sort of weakness to seep through the cracks of your confidence.

You took a step close, and he tenses. The sound of your heel clicking against the tiles sends an echo into the garden.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” You greeted of him with sincere politeness, placing a hand over your hip. Was it an attempt to appear idle or what? “… It’s quite an honor to have you here as a guest.”

“Who are you?” The boy growled, voice delved baritones deep. “Really.”

You tilted your head.

“Who would you like me to be?”

His gauntlet unfolds, and suddenly, he launches himself at you, grabbing you by the neck.

[A/n: I PASSED MY FUCKING ENTRANCE EXAM GUYS]

[abitohoney]

Pray To Me

AO3 link

Sevika x female reader

Rating: Explicit, MDNI, NSFW

Tags: Established Relationship, Shameless Smut, Light Dom/sub, Dom Sevika, Sub Reader, Banter, Humor, Fluff, Spanking, Cunnilingus, Lesbian Sex, Choking, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Teasing, Begging, Multiple Orgasms, Porn with Feelings, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Light Bondage, Reader is a bratty smartass, Sevika is a brat tamer, Demonic goddess Sevika, gp!Sevika, Demon Sex, Breeding Kink, this is just filth

Word Count: 8.1k

Summary: After a series of graphic dreams involving your girlfriend Sevika taking on the form of a demonic goddess, this night in particular starts to really blur the line between fantasy and reality.

AN: This has been on AO3 since April, just now copying it over here. This was a birthday gift for the wonderful @master-sass-blast.

You sit at a small desk lit by the dim yellow lamp that sits along the back edge, dressed only in your underwear and one of Sevika’s old t-shirts. You’re trying to wait for her to return home before calling it a night, but it’s terribly late and your eyes feel as if they're being pulled down by invisible weights.

You stare blankly down at the picture before you. It's a sketch you started not more than a few hours ago. Through your drooping eyelids, it’s a blurry image of Sevika. But she’s not in the form you know to live and breathe alongside you in the real world. It’s a form you’ve only seen in your dreams. Vivid dreams in which Sevika takes the form of a demonic goddess.

A black tail extends from the bottom of her spine; thin and long. Black horns curl from the crown of her head skyward, their points sharp and deadly. Her chemtech arm remains unchanged, but her flesh arm includes black, curved claws at the end of each finger. Her normally steel gray eyes glow an eerie purple even though she’s not fueled by shimmer.

The violet pencil held in your hand rests against the paper where you drew a series of scars trailing along her left side, from her torso clear up into the black horn that sprouts from the top of her head.

The image blurs further as you start to succumb to sleep. Through nothing more than the slits beneath your lids, the last thing you see is the rows of pointed teeth that appear between lips curled in a devious smirk.

You awake sometime later, head resting along your forearm which lays sprawled across the top of your desk. Slowly, you open your eyes, blinking the sleep away and yawning. As you force yourself to sit up, you realize your sketch is no longer on the desk.

Well that’s odd-

“More of your silly drawings?” Sevika's voice teases from behind you.

You nearly fall from your seat with how high you jump.

“For fuck’s sake, Sevika! Don’t scare me like that!” you chastise. Rubbing your eyes with your fists, you try to process what it was she had just said.

Silly drawings.

You don’t even bother to turn to look at her as you give her a bitter reply, “They aren’t silly drawings. You’re just jealous because the best you can do is stick people.” It’s not much of a comeback. Normally you’re more than happy to partake in the banter, but you’re too fucking tired to deal with her games right now.

She chuckles mockingly and tosses the drawing back onto the desk. “What made you decide to draw me like this?”

Gathering up your supplies, you sigh deeply. If you answer her honestly, you’ll just be feeding her fuel to tease you more. But, again, you’re just too damn sleepy to come up with anything besides the truth.

“I’ve been having dreams. Oddly vivid. Of you in this-" You wave your hand over the paper. "-demon form. No idea why, but it’s happened more than once.”

“Hmm,” she hums, and you’re unsure why she’s not giving you shit for that, but you continue to explain anyway.

“It’s weird. Even though it’s different scenarios each time- you chasing me, or taunting me, or just circling me- you always look exactly the same. I don’t understand how my brain is concocting such specific, repeatable imagery of you.”

“What if I told you those weren’t dreams,” Sevika whispers near your ear.

Hot breath rushes down the back of your neck and you shiver involuntarily.

Now it’s your turn to laugh. “That’s ridiculous. Stop trying to scare me. We can have a battle of wits tomorrow. I just want to go to bed.” You place your hands along the front edge of the desk, about to push your chair back to stand when you feel something slide around the front of your neck.

You immediately freeze in place.

Whatever it is, it’s not her hand, or arm- or anything she should possess. It quickly coils around your neck until your head is rendered immovable.

“Sevika!” you gasp, pulse quickening. “What the fuck is that?” Your hands fly up to grasp desperately at the offending… thing. It’s thin and rope-like, but too smooth to be just that. When Sevika says nothing, only laughs deviously from behind you, your heart rate spikes further. Her tone is different. It’s much deeper than usual. But more disturbing than that is the eerie echo that follows it.

“Foolish girl,” she rasps against your ear in a chilling tone.

Something tickles the side of your neck. Something firm and wet, but you’re left without a moment to process it when whatever is wrapped around your neck tightens and begins to slowly pull you to your feet. Unable to do more than release an airy gasp, you claw helplessly at the offending object. Eyes wide in terror, you’re forced to turn to face Sevika. But you’re not met with the face of the woman you know in the waking world. You’re met with a wicked grin full of sharp teeth and wide purple eyes that glow as if she’s possessed. Surely she is possessed. She’s the embodiment of your dream version of her.

Then this must be just another dream. There’s no other logical explanation. But it feels so real…

“My foolish girl,” she sneers as she lifts you even higher, until your feet no longer touch the floor.

You kick helplessly, trying desperately to get a foothold on something. As you scrabble at whatever is around your neck, it dawns on you what it is.

Her tail.

She brings you closer until you’re face-to-face with her demonic smile.

"You've been awfully bratty lately. I think it's about time you learn your place," she taunts.

And fuck, her voice has changed so much. It's dropped even lower, raspier. She sounds downright evil. Despite knowing this could only be a dream, you can't help how your blood runs cold in fear. However, you're unwilling to let even dream Sevika best you, so you try to swallow down that fear before you speak. But before you can even open your mouth, the grip she has on your throat tightens, leaving you gasping for breath.

Sevika's dark lips curl higher at your struggles. Her throaty chuckle echoes throughout the room. The room that- you just now realize- is suddenly fading away. Warping into something else entirely.

Your wide eyes flit around in shock as the furniture, the wall hangings, the flooring- even the walls themselves- all of it darkens and blurs until they disappear entirely. The two of you are left in a seemingly endless black room containing nothing more than a large, deep red settee situated a few feet away. And she's carrying you towards it.

You're tossed, rather haphazardly, onto the seat. Finally free of the restriction on your airway, you gasp and gulp down oxygen. Bringing your hands to your neck, you rub the sore tissue and tendons beneath.

“What the fuck, Sevika?” you demand.

Sevika towers over you, casting a shadow beneath a dim purple light that appears to emanate from somewhere behind her. The sides of her feet touch yours. But as you stare down at them, you realize they aren't her normal feet. They are larger. With long, sharp, black toenails. You shudder before letting your eyes slowly travel up the length of Sevika.

She's not in her usual getup. Not even the one you typically see her in when you’re dreaming. But you are dreaming, you remind yourself. As your gaze roams over her muscular thighs and all the way to the apex, you find she’s wearing nothing at all.

And oh good lord what is above her- Is that a… cock?

Something sharp presses into the soft flesh beneath your chin, forcing you to lift your head- to draw your attention away. At first, you think it must be a finger of her prosthetic arm. However, as your gaze lifts higher, you realize it’s her flesh arm before you. That’s definitely a claw threatening to pierce your skin.

“See something you like, kitten?” Sevika asks with a haughty smirk when you finally tilt your head back far enough to meet her glowing eyes above you.

Gods, is she even taller than usual too?

Still unwilling to let even this fake Sevka see you shaken at all by any of this, you snarkily ask, “Why the fuck do you have a dick in my dream?”

Another deep, taunting chuckle echoes through the seemingly empty room.

“Still think this is just a dream, huh?” she asks in that damn condescending tone she loves to use. She drags the tip of the sharp claw deliberately up the side of your jaw. Just hard enough to prove how deadly she is. “What will it take to convince you otherwise?”

You try to ignore the chill that creeps over your body, maintaining your own snide smile.

“Well, having the correct anatomy would be a decent start,” you jeer.

“Can’t exactly breed you with my cunt,” she retorts with a crude smile.

“Breed?” You huff out a laugh. “Like, you want me to carry your little demon babies?” Slowly, you shake your head in disbelief. “This is definitely one of the most fucked up dreams I’ve had about you.”

“Laugh all you want, brat. By the time I’m through with you, you’ll be praying this supposed dream would end.”

Mouth open and ready to fire a retort, your words fall short when you feel her tail start to slip beneath your loose shirt to slide around your torso. Your attention drops to that familiar long, thin, black appendage as it creeps further and further under the hem of your shirt, lifting it just enough to reveal the tops of your thighs.

Sevika leans over you, resting her metal hand against the back of the settee beside your head and lowers her face to hover just inches from yours.

You slowly let your gaze drift up over her lopsided grin to her glowing eyes. Reminding yourself yet again that this is only a dream, you make every attempt to hide the way her perverse smile makes your skin prickle with goosebumps. The way it causes your body temperature to rise. The way you rub your thighs together, clearly enjoying her like this.

She brings the sharp claws of her flesh hand to trace along the side of your jaw. Eyes locked with yours, she drags a single claw down the front of your neck, and along the dip in the collar of your shirt. She pauses at the center, delighting in how your chest is already visibly rising and falling faster in anticipation of what she plans to do next.

“I suggest you steady your breath. Unless you want me to mark that pretty skin of yours,” she warns.

Given no time to reply or even prepare, you release a startled yelp as she tears through the entire front of your shirt in one fell swoop. Her menacing laugh echoes through the room, and you swear you can feel it rumbling deep within your chest. Your cheeks burn with a mixture of anger, embarrassment, and something you’re not quite ready to admit to your cocky demonic girlfriend. You shoot her the most defiant glare you can muster. Unfortunately, you’re not sure it's very effective, considering how she not only has you held in place by that damn tail, but now your entire chest is exposed and on display for her hungry eyes to focus on.

“That was my favorite shirt!” you exclaim indignantly.

“You can find another,” she replies gruffly.

“I don’t want another. I liked this one.”

Narrowed glowing eyes rise to meet yours, their owner clearly low on patience.

“You can find another,” Sevika repeats with an air of finality. “Now I suggest you shut your mouth, brat. Or do I need to give you something to preoccupy it?”

It’s funny how she thinks a threat like that is going to keep you quiet. This dream Sevika is apparently just as daft as the real Sevika.

“Depends on what you plan to use,” you reply before tracing your lips with the tip of your tongue. You let your eyes slowly drift downward, intentionally making sure she follows the path to your destination; the thick, hard length that you notice twitches when she realizes what you’re implying.

“Hmm,” she hums, “Sorry kitten, but I’m saving that for another hole.” She draws your attention upward again, this time with the tip of a metal finger. “You’ll have to be patient.”

“Says the woman who couldn’t wait and just tore my favorite shir-” Your snarky remark turns into a startled gasp the moment you feel the settee unexpectedly rise and shift. The tail still wrapped around your torso is the only thing that keeps you from falling backward when the back of the couch suddenly disappears. 

Once again denying you a chance to gather your wits, Sevika immediately lifts you with her tail. The remainder of your shirt falls off your shoulders, and she pushes you further back onto what is definitely not a settee anymore considering how you’re able to lean back on your forearms.

Wide-eyed, you quickly scan left, then right, discovering you’re now actually on a large four-post bed. Each post is made of dark, rich mahogany, and the soft quilted bedding beneath you is the same deep red of the settee.

Sevika slides her tail out from around you before crawling onto the bed and over your body. The mattress shifts considerably with her weight and you're certain now that she’s considerably larger than usual. And she’s using it to her advantage, confining you beneath her, completely cutting off that mysterious purple glow that had been your only light source since the room warped into nothingness.

Too focused on the way her face is plastered with that damn arrogant smile, you fail to realize her tail is slipping behind your neck until it’s too late. It quickly coils around it before the soft, pointed tip slips into your open mouth, muffling your attempted protest. And your struggles only serve to make those dark lips of hers pull even higher.

“Much better,” she jeers.

This time she’s wrapped her tail just tight enough to assert her control over you without restricting your airway.

Despite your efforts to remain unphased by her assault, you feel your restraint quickly fade when you watch her head dip lower toward one of your exposed breasts. Her tail prevents you from lifting your head, but you still manage to watch as a long, wide, forked tongue slips out from between her lips to run along the underside of your breast, leaving a wet trail that quickly cools and causes you to shiver.

Your eyes flutter shut and you groan around the tip of her tail as she teases around your hardening nipple. Unknowingly, you start to mimic her motions, swirling your tongue around the tip of her tail. Sucking when she does. Flicking when she does. It isn’t until you feel the press of something sharp against your nipple that you start to realize what you’re doing.

With a quick inhale through your nose, your eyes fly open to meet the narrowed threatening gaze of your demonic girlfriend. Her lips are curled back in a snarl, revealing pointed teeth. Teeth that currently threaten to cross the line from pleasure to pain as she bites down.

“Stop. Distracting. Me,” she snarls through her teeth.

Distracting? How the fuck were you distracting her? Playing with her tail?

Curious, you give said tail a good suck while running the tip of your tongue along one edge of the point. Those fierce eyes of hers suddenly fall shut. A deep, almost inaudible, groan reaches your ears and goes straight between your legs.

Fuck that's hot.

It would appear that her tail is sensitive. Hence your ministrations are distracting.

How… delightful.

Your lips curl into a mischievous smile around the appendage, but you’re a fool to think she won’t retaliate. And she does exactly that the moment she opens her eyes and catches your smile.

Sevika releases an inhuman hiss. And it should have been your warning, but you’re still caught off guard the moment you feel her teeth sink in deeper and cross that aforementioned border.

The startled cry that slips past the small gap between your lips and her tail is choked off by her tail slipping further toward the back of your throat. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes and your hands instinctively reach for the horns at the top of her head. However, before you can grab them, you feel the forked tip of her tongue start to move over the stinging flesh, soothing and replacing the pain with pleasure.

Sevika chuckles against your breast as she continues to slide that deliciously thick muscle over your skin. “I warned you, brat."

Even if you could speak, you wouldn’t have anything to say. Not when that sinister laughter of hers is making the ache between your legs swell exponentially. No matter how hard you pretend to hate her cockiness, there’s no denying how much it turns you on.

“Still think you’re dreaming?” she sneers before moving to lave at your other breast.

Honestly, you had for a moment forgotten you were in a dream. Everything feels so damn real.

But you know this can’t be real. So you give her a nod as you rub your thighs together in an attempt to relieve some of the growing need between them.

Noticing the motion, Sevika presses her knee between your legs to force them open, intentionally dragging over your wet heat. Judging by the cocky little smirk that paints her face, she feels just how wet you are through the thin fabric of your underwear.

"Gonna try to deny that too?" She asks.

You narrow your eyes at her and mumble something unintelligible around her tail.

She raises a brow. "What's that? Can't understand you with your mouth full." She taunts before removing her tail from your mouth. Webs of saliva connect and stretch between its tip and your bottom lip before finally breaking over your chin.

"I said fuck y-" Your snarky remark devolves into a sharp inhale of breath when Sevika presses her knee further between your legs. That teasing- albeit tantalizing- friction leaves you without a thought, at least until you hear Sevika's mocking laughter.

You open your eyes, not even recalling closing them, and find her face hovering over yours. Her eyes are alight with a sick satisfaction as she waits for you to meet her gaze. And the moment you do, you watch as that snake-like tongue of hers slips past her lips to slowly lick up over your drool-coated chin before violently delving between your parted lips.

The moan you release into her mouth becomes choked as she shoves her tongue damn near down the back of your throat. You struggle to pull back, pressing your head further against the mattress. Sevika's lips curl against yours and you're not sure if you should be irritated or turned on by just how much higher she is as a demonic goddess.

Once she's had her fill of dominating your mouth, she drags her tongue along your teeth as it recedes into her mouth.

"Mmm. So sweet," she purrs. "You know my senses are enhanced in this form." Locking eyes with you, she starts to slowly descend your body, her tongue sneaking out to taste your exposed skin at every stop. "Including taste." She starts across your collarbone. "I wonder if-” Then between your cleavage. “-all of your body-” Around your navel. “-tastes that much more-” And along your waistband. “-delicious."

Tilting your head, you try to watch her from over your chest as it rises and falls with deep breaths. Her clawed hands carefully spread your thighs enough for her to sneak her head between them. Your breath hitches when she drags that wet muscle over your clothed slit.

“Mmm. I think I need to get a better taste,” Sevika purrs before taking the waistband of your panties between her pointed teeth.

At first, you think she will simply pull them down, so when you feel the unexpected tug and hear the subsequent tear of fabric, you can't help the squeal that leaves your throat.

And oh that fucking arrogant smile she gives you… As much as you want to chastise her for now adding your favorite pair of panties to the list of destroyed items, more than that you want her to press those devilish lips somewhere in particular.

As if hearing your thoughts, Sevika begins kissing her way up the inside of one of your thighs. Although not without deliberately taking her damn sweet time.

"Sevika, please!" You whine and spread your legs wider in hopes of encouraging her to reach her final destination sooner. You should know better, though, than to let her see how needy you are. It only adds fuel to the fire. Her desire to break you. To tame you.

"Pa-tience," she enunciates before sinking her sharp teeth into your thigh.

"Fuck," you curse and try to close your legs around her head, only to be met with equally sharp claws threatening to pierce your skin as she holds your legs in place.

The pain quickly dulls into a pleasant ache as Sevika runs her tongue over the tiny marks. Rather than continue her exploration with kisses, she instead licks a warm, wet trail higher and higher.

You suck in a shallow breath and pull your bottom lip between your teeth in anticipation. With every inch closer she gets to your burning core, you hold your breath a little longer, bite your lip a little harder. The moment she reaches your wet folds to teasingly trace the perimeter, you release your breath in a shaky whimper.

"Now purr for me, kitten," Sevika demands, tone dripping with sin.

And that you do. You moan wantonly when you finally feel her lick a long, thick stripe up through your entrance. Pleasure courses through your extremities and heat pools low in your belly. She gradually stokes that fire with teasing little kitten licks just along the inside of your entrance. If you were of sound mind you may have even found that ironic- the kitten licks- given her pet name for you. But you're too lost in your own bliss to form any coherent thoughts.

Her name falls from your parted lips with a breathless moan and you can feel her resulting arrogant smile against your folds.

She's normally damn good with her mouth, but there's something so terribly exquisite about her demon tongue that sends you to another realm. You're not sure if it's the forked tip, the large width, or the insanely long length-

Oh good god the length…

As Sevika finally sinks her tongue deep inside your cunt, you realize just how long it truly is.

"Oh- fuck Sevika," you moan, "That- that feels so good."

She hums in appreciation before adjusting her head to allow the base of her tongue to glide along the bundle of nerves above.

It's a shock to the system, that sudden addition of unexpected pleasure. You hadn't been ready for her to touch your clit while her tongue was still buried inside you. Your hips jerk almost violently towards her face, but you're once again held in place by sharp claws against your thighs.

You attempt to form a protest, mouth open, and a whine at the ready. But, the moment she starts sliding her tongue in and out of you, rubbing it along the now swollen bud above, your whine fizzles and dies in your throat. A broken, garbled moan falls out in its place.

Sevika uses her tongue to straight up fuck you, and with little grace or care for how much of a mess she makes, or how obscene she sounds. Between the collection of her saliva and your slick, each plunge of the thick muscle creates a wet, smacking sound that resonates throughout the room. It's salacious, but undeniably arousing.

If she was stoking the fire in your belly earlier, she's downright pouring gasoline on it now. That familiar coil is wound so tight it burns, threatening to snap at any moment.

Without thinking, you reach down and grasp Sevika's horns, pulling her face closer as you attempt to control her motions. That action not only earns you a warning growl that you fail to hear over your own unrestrained moaning, it also leads to her removing the stimulation entirely.

Your eyes fly wide open and you stare down at her with pleading eyes.

"Sevika! Please don't stop!" You beg, near tears with desperation as that pleasant coil starts to quickly unwind.

"Hands. Off," she snarls, baring dangerously sharp teeth.

"I- I'm sorry," you whimper, but immediately release her horns.

"Hands above your head."

Apparently, she doesn't trust you, but you still obey. Anything to get that indescribably divine stimulation back as you slip further and further away from your peak.

Sevika's tail appears in your periphery and you feel it wrap around your wrists. She's not giving you another chance to control yourself. But after glaring at your distraught face for a good, long moment, she finally brings her mouth back to your slit.

Eyes fluttering shut again, you focus all of your strength on lying still for her as she wraps her lips around your throbbing clit. She quickly rebuilds the progress she'd made before. Each suck of her mouth and each rub of her forked tongue brings you that much closer to the precipice of euphoria.

Sensing your impending climax, you unknowingly hold your breath and tense every muscle in your body. Until finally, you fall.

Your body lurches as all that built-up tension releases like an explosion. Time slows as waves of pleasure burn through your every fiber. You cry Sevika's name, following it with a series of incoherent whimpers. All while that delicious muscle carefully works you through your state of rapture.

Just as you start to come back down to reality and feel the threat of overstimulation, Sevika moves her tongue from your throbbing bud to lewdly lap at the juices flowing from the slit below.

Chest heaving with shallow breaths, you gaze down at your demonic lover through glossy eyes. Your body trembles at the sight, renewed arousal making your legs ache. Her eyes are gently closed, as if she's thoroughly enjoying herself while she licks you clean.

Once she seems to have had her fill, she lifts her head and uses her knuckles to wipe her mouth clean. She meets your dazed stare with eyes so heavily darkened with lust that only a mere ring of glowing purple remains.

Your body trembles beneath her gaze as she slowly rises to her knees and moves up your body. It isn't until her legs are on either side of your waist that her intentions become clear. Your eyes travel down the length of her body. Over the sexy curl of her wet lips, the swell of her full breasts, the hard lines of her defined abs, until finally landing on the large cock standing proud, right where her clit would normally reside.

Several drops of precum decorate the bottom of the bulbous head. It's thicker than what you'd expect from a human, and tinged with a fluorescent purple much like her eyes. Instinctively, you lick your lips in anticipation. 

Sevika notices that action, a haughty chuckle making her body shake. "Be a good girl for your master and get it nice and wet for me?" She purrs.

You meet her gaze for a moment and give her an eager nod. You're rewarded with a pleased smile and she releases your wrists from the grip of her tail. Slowly, you sit up, gaze dropping to the mouth-watering display in front of you.

Placing your hands on her hips to keep yourself steady, you watch for her reaction intently as you run the very tip of your tongue over the trail of precum. The deep hum of approval she releases goes straight between your legs, rekindling that pleasant ache. Your mouth fills with a bittersweet flavor that's unlike her typical slick and you wonder if that's been altered as well.

Your eyes flit between hers and the wetness coating the junction of her thighs. Clearly, she's enjoying herself just as much as you are. You wait for her nod of approval before dipping your head lower and collecting a taste of her slick, intentionally allowing the tip of your tongue to tease along her entrance.

You both groan in unison.

Though the texture is considerably different; less thick, the taste is still equally bittersweet.

"No more teasing," Sevika demands. But her voice is hoarse, broken by the desire that coats her throat.

Obediently, you move one hand from her hip to grasp the base of her cock before wrapping your lips around the tip.

"That's my good girl," she groans as you slide the length further into your mouth.

Your eyes flutter shut when you feel the scrape of her claws travel from the top of your scalp to the back of your head. Too caught up in that pleasant sensation and sweet praise, you momentarily forget your task.

Sevika, however, does not, and she holds your head in place before snapping her hips.

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes as she hits the back of your throat despite your hand preventing you from taking her entirely. It takes a great deal of concentration not to gag around her, but she takes mercy on you and quickly pulls back enough to allow you to recover.

"Focus," she grunts. "This is for your own good."

You peer up at her through watery eyes and thick lashes, but quickly slide your lips back over her. Hollowing your cheeks, you suck as you glide back a second time. And oh god, the reaction that gets you is enough to have you moaning just as loud as her.

Her eyes drift closed as her head gently falls back. Her throat bobs with a heavy swallow, and she digs her nails into the nape of your neck.

Eager to treat yourself to another one of those responses, you take her back into your mouth, this time far enough to reach the hand you still have wrapped firmly around the base of her.

But before you can pull back, Sevika's head tilts forward again and you're met with eyes completely blackened by a ravenous need.

"Enough," she growls. "Lie down."

Gladly.

Having regained enough of your senses, you decide to sneak in one more teasing action before she has her way with you. So as you slide your wet lips down her cock, you press and drag your tongue along the bottom.

“Shi- t.” Sevika’s broken curse slips past her lips without permission. But the moment she comes to- once you reach the very tip- she narrows her eyes at you threateningly.

You merely peer up at her with feigned innocence as you slide completely off, intentionally allowing a small dribble of precum to coat your bottom lip. With an exaggerated lick of your swollen, wet lips, you watch as her anger starts to ebb away. But just as you think you’ve soothed the savage beast, you feel pointed nails dig into each of your shoulders before she shoves you onto your back.

Your breath leaves your chest from the force of it, but Sevika leaves you no time to complain.

She shakes her head in disappointment. "Naughty little brat. You almost wasted my precious seed on that smartass mouth of yours." She starts to move back down your body, pressing her knees between your own to spread them.

“How would that have been a waste?” you ask as you prop yourself up on your forearms to watch her. “Are you telling me that even as a demonic god- even in my dreams- you can’t just make more quote-unquote seed?” You ask derisively.

Sevika freezes, her hands hovering just above your thighs. Her eyes slowly drift up until they meet yours. With an arched brow and a crooked smile, she sneers, “Do I need to use the tail again?” She brings the end of it into your view, flicking it back and forth for emphasis.

“Hey I’m just asking a very legitimate question,” you reply. You’re well aware that goading a demon is dangerous. But it’s Sevika. In a dream, you remind yourself again- a very wet dream. You know any punishment she dishes out will ultimately lead to your pleasure.

“Yeah? You sure you’re not just running your mouth because you want me to stuff it with something?” she asks as she lifts your thighs and spreads them wide. “Or maybe you’re looking to be put in your place in some other way?” Her lips curl into a devilish smirk.

“As I said earlier, that depends on what you have in mind,” you answer with a mischievous smile to match hers.

Sevika says nothing, merely continues to wear that lopsided grin as she settles between your legs. She leans over you, resting her metal hand against the mattress beside your head, her biological hand holding her hardened cock.

"This what you want?" She husks as she drags the head up through your wet slit. "You want me to fuck you with this?"

Not trusting your own voice as she rubs over your clit, you suck your bottom lip between your teeth and nod your head.

Amused by your sudden loss of words, Sevika chuckles lowly. Though she could easily drag the teasing on- figuratively and literally- she's craving a good fuck just as much as you are.

As she presses the tip just inside your entrance, you let yourself rest completely on your back. She eases in at such a slow speed it borders on torture. And when you try to lift your hips, she moves her hand to your waist to still you.

"I think you know what I'm going to say," Sevika warns.

Be patient.

You push your lower lip out in a pout, but Sevika simply lowers her head to press her lips to it. You wrap your arms around her back, fingers gripping at the muscles there as you pull her chest closer until her soft breasts touch yours. Her tongue traces over where your lips meet. Just as you eagerly grant her entrance, she closes that final distance, fully sheathing herself inside you.

The moan that rises from your chest is caught in your throat as Sevika's tongue plunges inside with the same wild intensity. It swirls around yours, withdrawing another muffled moan as you're struck with the lingering taste of your release.

Hooking your legs around her waist, you try to pull her in further, deeper, until you swear you feel the very tip. Every inch of her presses along your walls. It's sad if she was made just for you.

Sevika groans and pulls back from the kiss just far enough for your lips to barely touch. She gazes down at you with darkened eyes through eyelids heavy with need.

"You feel so fucking good wrapped around me. So tight," she husks, her lips grazing yours with every spoken syllable.

Good god does her praise sound so much sexier in that fiendishly deep voice of hers. It's enough to make your head spin. You close your eyes, wanting to focus on just the sound of her.

"I don't know why I didn't do this sooner," she adds, seemingly more to herself than you.

Ever so slowly, she starts to slide back out, sucking air through her teeth as you clench around her. Once only the tip remains precariously inside, she pauses.

Your toes curl in anticipation, body tensing as you wait for the imminent thrust of her hips. However, when seconds that feel more like an eternity pass without any motion or any sound, you slowly open your eyes.

Sevika stares down at you with wide hungry eyes and a villainous smile, showing off those dangerously sharp teeth.

"Sev-IKA" your whine becomes a startled cry as she snaps her hips and buries herself to the hilt. Her evil chuckle barely registers in the back of your mind through the pleasurable shock to your body.

Not giving you a moment of reprieve, she starts to fuck you at a slow, but steady pace.

Unsure if the speed she's selected is meant to please or tease, you quickly find yourself in need of more. The build-up of that warm, tight feeling is too slow. While she busies herself with licking her way down your jaw and neck, you let your heels drop back to the mattress, digging them in as you attempt to meet her every thrust with two of your own.

Without nearly the level of stamina she possesses- not to mention how your legs ache with each pleasurable drag of her hard cock against your walls- you quickly tire of the effort. And damn this cocky demonic woman currently controlling your future- you can feel her lips curl into an amused smirk from where they press against the swell of a breast. She knows it only makes you yearn for her more.

"Sevika," you whine breathlessly, "please."

"Please what?" Her question is muffled by her mouth skimming across your chest to taste the skin of your other breast.

"Fast-" You're cut off once again- and no doubt just as intentional- when you feel Sevika sink her pointed teeth into the swell of your breast.

"Fuck me!" You cry out, but the pain quickly subsides as she sucks and licks at the tiny marks left in her wake.

Behind your closed lids, you sense something above you. You open your eyes to find Sevika grinning down at you again, her breasts gently swaying over yours as she continues her torturous, yet sweetly slow cadence.

You give her your best puppy-dog eyes, pleading with her to have mercy on you. Then you attempt one more time to bargain with your demonic goddess.

"Please fuck me faster. I'll do anything."

Oh, now that seems to have caught her interest.

Sevika's brow raises in intrigue. "Anything?"

"Anything," you repeat with a nod.

"Deal."

Something tells you that you're likely to regret that later, but the moment she grabs the bottoms of your thighs and pushes them back against your chest, you couldn't care less. You're in for quite the ride.

She doesn't even bother gradually increasing her speed. The moment she gets you where she wants you she plants both hands beside your head and starts pummeling into you.

The sound of her thighs slapping against the back of yours mix with your wanton cries and moans, both of which nearly drown out her wild grunts.

You claw at her back, clinging to her as if your life depended on it. And with how mercilessly she drives that thick cock into your wet heat, it very well might.

Mind reeling from all the heavenly sensations, you nearly miss Sevika's grunted taunt.

"Look how much more well-behaved you are when I'm fucking- your- brains- out." She emphasizes the last four words with a grind of her hips each time she penetrates you, rubbing against your clit and leaving you near gasping as white light flashes behind your lids with each one.

"Still think this is a dream?" She jeers as she continues her onslaught, nearly pushing your body across the bed with the force. "Ever felt this fucking good in your dreams? Ever been so fucking wet?" Once again she adds emphasis, only this time it's with a powerful thrust that has a lewd squelching sound echoing through the dark room.

Just as she thought, you truly are too fucked out now. Her questions go in one ear and right out the other. All your focus is concentrated on gripping Sevika's back while she fucks you hard enough to cause the bed to shake and creak. And oh gods yes, you're quickly approaching that peak again.

"I asked you a question," Sevika growls.

That one you hear, but only because of the abrupt halt to your pleasure when she suddenly pulls out of you completely.

Not even given a chance to protest beyond the startled breathy cry that leaves your throat, you find yourself just as abruptly flipped over onto your hands and knees. Clawed hands- metal and organic- grip your waist as Sevika lines up and then slams back inside you.

From a combination of her sheer force and your weakened state, your front half collapses forward, face smashing against the mattress. You claw desperately at the bedding, trying to find purchase as Sevika continues to rail you from behind.

Between one of her rounds, she brings the palm of her flesh hand down against one of your asscheeks. Her sinister laughter rings through your ears, almost louder than the shriek that leaves your open mouth.

"Where's all that attitude now?"

Gone along with any and all cognitive abilities. Especially when you feel her hand rub soothing circles over your singing flesh. And even more so when she lightly scrapes those claws from the bottom of your spine straight up to the nape of your neck.

Your back arches in reflex to the sweet sensation that she leaves in her wake. Senseless words and curses fall from your slack mouth.

Sevika must be right. This can't possibly be a dream. Not when every part of your body is screaming with pleasure. Not when you feel so completely and delightfully filled by her.

She presses the palm of her hand against the exposed side of your face, pushing your head further into the mattress as she bends over you. She encapsulates you completely with her large body. Her sweat-slick breasts press against the curve of your spine as she fucks you impossibly deeper.

You're close. So fucking close. But you need something more. Just a little-

"Sevika," your voice comes out as nothing more than a hoarse whisper, apparently having been far more vocal than you realize. But thank the gods- or rather your demon girlfriend- she hears you.

She brings her mouth to your ear, her hot breath washing over you with each buck of her hips. "What do you want, kitten?"

"I- I need-" you struggle to form the words, absolutely drowning in pleasure, and she's apparently hell-bent on only making it harder.

She takes your earlobe between her teeth and gently tugs before whispering, "What was that? Use your words."

"More- I need more," you pant. "Please."

She hums against your ear as her tongue teases along the edge of it.

Just when you think you're going to have to beg more, you feel something slide between your sweaty bodies and around your waist.

Her tail.

The tip dips down over your abdomen, and as you realize its destination, you suck in a breath and hold it. All it takes is one slide over your throbbing, swollen clit to send you spiraling.

You sob pathetically as you're overtaken by earth-shattering pleasure for the second time tonight. Every muscle in your body spasms, including those surrounding Sevika's cock.

"Fuck," Sevika grits out through her teeth. "I'm going to cum." Her pace falters for a moment, but she's quick to recover. Lips pressed against your sweaty cheek, she husks, "Do you want me to fill you with my seed?"

Legs trembling, you're only held up by the grip of Sevika's metal hand on your waist as she continues to drive herself inside your soaked cunt. The lewd sound of it is lost on you though, as you just start to drift down from your high. And then her words replay in the back of your head.

Do you want me to fill you with my seed?

"Yes. Please," you whimper.

"Do you want to carry my half-breed spawn?" She huffs, and you can hear her losing steam, feel her hips stutter. She can't hold on much longer.

Dream or reality you don't fucking care anymore. You just want to feel her release inside you. You'd do anything for her, regardless of her being a goddamn demon.

"Please, Sevika."

"Say it."

"Breed me," you cry, overstimulation starting to set in under her continued assault.

That's all it takes. That, and one final deep thrust, then she's burying her face in your neck, groaning as thick cum flows from her cock.

You can feel all of it. It's inhumanly hot and vast, seeping out each time her body jerks. It spills out and down the insides of your thighs, all the way to the bedding at your knees.

After several weak thrusts, she finally stills. Though she doesn't go completely limp, you feel the weight of her press against your back, sweaty skin sticking to more sweaty skin. She moves her hand from the side of your head to rest against the mattress. You both take deep breaths in unison, and it's the only sound in the now otherwise silent abyss.

Sevika slips her arm around your waist when she feels your legs start to give way, finally depleted of all your remaining strength.

"Need to- lie down," you murmur between panting.

Despite having spent the entirety of the night with you being atrociously bratty, Sevika takes pity on you- or perhaps she's equally exhausted- and carefully pulls herself out before gently lying you on your back.

She hovers over you for a moment, straddling your limp body and watching your dazed expression. Several beads of sweat drip down the side of her face, then her neck before disappearing between her cleavage.

The rest becomes a bit of a blur as you drift in and out of conciseness. But you recall her wiping you off, cleaning you of both your fluids. And you remember moments of her kissing each of the marks she left on your skin. The scrapes and dotted cuts from her metal and demonic claws. The bright red indents decorating your skin where she bit you. And the raw skin where her hands or tail gripped and rubbed.

And the last thing you remember is her lying next to you, the tip of her tail gliding up and down the top of one of your thighs. Then she places a soft kiss on your forehead before whispering, "You did so well, my love."

Blinking several times, you slowly wake from your deep slumber. As your eyes come into focus in the dimly lit room, you realize you're sitting at your desk. Remembering your earlier escapades, you quickly sit up and glance around.

Your room, from what you can tell from the low glow of the desk lamp, is completely normal. All is as it was- or should be. Looking down at the desk you even find your drawing still sitting there.

So it really was a dream?

"You forgot the pointed tip," Sevika says from behind you.

You yelp, jumping in your seat much like you did earlier- or you thought you did.

"Shit, Sevika. Don't sneak up on me like that," you say groggily.

Wait- What did she just say?

"What pointed tip?" You ask suspiciously.

"On the tail," she whispers against your ear.

The hair on the back of your neck stands up and a shiver runs down your spine.

There's no way-

You peer down at your clothing. You're not in the t-shirt you remember putting on earlier that night. You're in a thin camisole, with a low cut that reveals the tops of your breasts. Including two very obvious rows of bite marks across one of them.

"Oh dear Janna," you murmur in shock.

Sevika tsks from behind you. Her voice drops lower, a familiar eerie echo ringing in your ear as she speaks in a sinister tone. “The only deity I want to hear you pray to is me. And you better start praying, because you promised me you’d do anything."

AN: If you haven't seen it yet, be sure to check out @sevikascrown's delicious fanart of demon Sevika here. 🥰

[lenaboskow]

One of my biggest pet peeves in the fandom is that people are allowed to point out how many of the female love interests are flat, 2D characters or complex but poorly written or not the right fit for a certain character but the moment we say that about T*mmy suddenly we’re “not giving a character an opportunity to develop” or “being bitter that he’s getting in that way of a ship” or “being homophobic”

literallyy i think about this every time i open the ana bashing tag because like. in canon? ana only said one weird line about horses. she called him eddie in 4x11! taylor kelly was morally grey at worst until fox ruined her, but she never made any hunts at making buck choose her over eddie (the family dinner scene lives in mg head rent free). marisol was just weird, but until the nun storyline there was no canon reason to think she could be homophobic (and she still wasn’t). natalia had the most canon reasons to bash, and 7x01 technically confirmed them, but it was all about her obsession with death and never to do with buck and eddie’s relationship.

on the other hand, tommy has done so many things in canon to warrant bashing, but because he’s a man and dating buck, suddenly it’s homophobic? call me a hypocrite then

[thebearme]

I always wondered like why does medic act so mean towards engie in ur fanart are they exes or medic just hates him for no reason..? Plus the hc of administrator being engies mom is rlly cool u cooked

well alot of the of the stuff of engi and medic beefing were lil joke based off a fic's writing of engi (so it was granted)

But- you aren't wrong either cuz in my headcanons medic and engi were a thing but there is no animosity. It's was back when they were on the BLU team and dumped each other shortly after the merge. But they're still chill with each other, still best friends and still have a blood pact to die before EVER confessing The Administrator contract for them to ANYONE.

So don't worry, they're not bitter exes

And for the second thing, I don't have the hc that The Administrator is Engi mom. She DID practically raise Engi tho. I imagine that The Administrator tends to interfere with people's personal lives to get the people she wants to serve her. Like hiring a hit squad to "hurt" Spy's family, causing him to think that his spy life and family lives can NEVER be this close and making him pick one or the other. Or getting a german doctor off of death row Or getting rid of any distraction for the Conaghers. And if it means the birthmother possibly leading her husband and child away from continuing working for her then bye-bye Mrs. Conagher.

This woman is a control freak and always five steps ahead, she finds ways.

but speaking of which! I remember this one headcanon from a ao3 fic tag saying The Administrator and Medic being related, like being his great great aunt or something. And THAT still hasn't left my head. Like it makes sense in a weird way, idk but when I first joined the TF2 fandom and read the comics I thought if anyone were to replace The Administrator for some bizarre reason, It would be Medic. idk but he just seems he has it to be 'The New Administrator' maybe just needs chill pill so he's not too high energy

Anyway with the hc it makes me think like- you could have gotten him out of Germany before everything happened why?? For war experience?? to break him??? Why was our Medic The Medic you kept?? Is he more manipulatable to do your bidding?? The Administrator knows everything that happens inside her walls, so she knew about Engineer's and Medic's relationship. She HATES when the mercs have big amounts of communication with each other, so why was this fine? Is it because she knows that she has enough control over them in their personal life to the point she has no fear??

All things I have no answers for but the fact theres a hc that scratches my theorists brain makes me happy to keep it.

sorry this turned into a Administrator post but is one interesting lady and that leads some of my headcanons to come back around to her.

[linashirou]

WIP Wednesday!

(A little late but still!) This time @fangbangerghoul tagged me and I have to tell you that I'm working on a second ending for the Dragon's Dogma fic. The problem is that I lost a big part, because at some point Microsoftword.exe didn't save it. So I got a little depressed about it (I realized this yesterday), so I will share the beginning of it.

Don't believe people who say: "There's nothing new under the sun".

That's not true.

The most unexpected things can happen.

And that's quite a lot when you consider that I'm just a pawn.

As you probably already know (or suspect), the age of a pawn is difficult to determine. I don't know exactly how many human years, how many Springs I've seen go by, but I can say that I've worked with more Arisen than I can really remember or count.

Still, my memory can only recall two of them: the one who gave me life, and the one who made me feel emotions. Their will, and determination were astonishing. The one that gave me life, my own Arisen appeared to be a decent, reasonable person with an unbreakable will, but he gifted me the most bitter feeling: Disappointment.

Some might say: He was the one who made me a being with feelings, and maybe that's the truth, but, in my opinion, she had something special.

Something strange and inexplicable.

"I like to think that we are like moths drawn to the light; this warm, powerful aura that the Arisen have…"

Today, Hal's words carry a different weight, they're like an echo in my mind, haunting me.

Many Awakenings have come and gone… Different Arisen… Different motivations and wills.

But somehow… I feel guilty

Regardless how much experience I once bragged about…

I never expected anything like this.

We had been together for a long time, I'd say months.

Lina was the one chosen by the Dragon in this dimension as the Arisen, the one who would finish him and free the world from the disaster dressed in Crimson. Hal was always by her side. A skinny, eye-glassed, book-loving pawn, brilliant and creative. At first I despised his lack of courage and his shyness.

Now, in retrospect… I can't ignore his true qualities.

His mental agility and his almost unnatural effort to understand life and people; Sensitive, always looking out for her happiness and that of those with whom he lived, including me and Meryl.

How stupid I was.

Surely, as he mentioned on more than few occasions, my "muscular brain" made me indifferent to what some people call the "intelligence of the heart".

If only I had noticed this earlier… I might have noticed that there was something strange going on from the very beginning…

It's no news that Arisens could bring joy to people.

And envy too.

For some strange reason, the negativity becomes endearingly attractive to minds in despair and uncertainty of the approaching end (perhaps this is something triggered by the Dragon's presence).

That day, a stranger approached the Arisen and begged for help. He pulled out a weird piece of paper that claimed to be a letter from a well-known person.

They were barely readable, asking for help to get home, from Bloodwater Beach to Grand Soren.

A long and complicated journey.

To be honest, I have to make yourself clear that it's not uncommon to receive requests for escort, especially on the road, but…

What the hell was that person doing out there in the first place?

Bloodwater Beach is one of Gransys' most remote and inhospitable places…

Why should we help that person?

These questions weren't asked back then.

And maybe that's why I'm here now...

[landgraabbed]

thank you for tagging me @irrewilderer! it’s a sims q&a thingamajig, under the cut! i will be very longwinded bc that’s how i roll

01: what’s your favorite sims death? the one you had when you got cursed by a mummy in ts3 world adventures. there is a lot of skeeviness around that whole pack, but i remember stumbling onto it in gameplay and it being deeply fucked up in a way recent installments refuse to match

02: alpha cc or maxis match? i lean maxis mix-ish but i don’t care about which way people lean ngl

03: do you cheat when your sims gain weight? this is a weird question and as someone who is experiencing a resurgence in [redacted] i think that whoever made this originally should be ashamed of themself.

04: do you use move objects? yes, no default sims grid placement may satisfy my hoarding tendencies.

05: favorite mod? ts2 needs a suite of mods to encourage it to not self-explode, but i am an acr enjoyer. with the right tuning it makes sims not breed like rabbits but have their own autonomy and people of interest that i find very enjoyable

06: first expansion/game/stuff pack you got? i believe that i got ts1 bundled with some expansion pack? so whichever one came after that until dad got tired and learned how to pirate so i could enjoy games hehe

07: do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? alive, i don’t care if it’s the wrong way

08: who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? it has to be jess. it’s silly but writing her at times allows me to work through some shit of my own.

09: have you made a simself? i never cared to until i got me a wife who lives very far away from me hehe

10: what sim traits did you give yourself? no idea tbh, i forgot (i reek of ts3 absent minded trait)

11: what is your favorite EA hair color? the witching hour defaults and addon palette by pyxis my beloved

12: favorite EA hair? no friggin’ idea my dude

13: favorite life stage? this question would only make sense if eaxis put any thought into life stages other than young/adult since the release of the generations ep. but i’ve recently been reminded of how fun the ts2 teens are.

14: are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? is build/buy not a gameplay function? i can’t build to save my life but i enjoy decorating and live mode (in ts2 mostly)

15: are you a CC creator? as need and want hit me

16: do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? LMFAO what kinda question is this!! no i don’t have a simblr avengers squad or anything and i’m over caring about it. there’s people in the community i’m fond of but i’m not trying to join or create a clique

17: what’s your favorite game? listen. i am going to obtusely pretend that this isn’t a sims interrogatory and talk about the games that have my heart right now bc i can’t choose a single game. you have been warned.

now and forever, the games that miyazaki has directed at fromsoftware, particularly the souls series and bloodborne (i haven’t played elden ring yet but i KNOW i will adore it) are very special to me. bloodborne is a masterpiece. and i am sad that discourse has morphed these games into everything that’s wrong with Gamers and Gatekeeping. the games and the 99% of the community aren’t about that. i walked into them as someone who’d mostly played games casually but loved the games that approach storytelling indirectly. i fell in love with the marriage of gameplay and theming. i love how miyazaki approaches storytelling as an act of archaeology. the world was there long before you. you’re a nobody. things are bleak and you can’t get a straight answer out of anything, but you have other people going through it with you. you can imbue meaning and history into things, and that is beautiful. and i am bitter that one can’t say that the games don’t need an easy mode without being deemed a gatekeeper. (the games were designed with multiplayer that allows other players to cooperate with you and help you. there are gameplay styles that make things easier. all out of the box)

i am a known tes lover but morrowind is the apple of my eye. it’s weird listening to essays about modern day open world design and its pitfalls and to see how morrowind largely circumvents these issues, all the way back in 2002. the lore is amazing and once more it places a large chunk of the meaning making on the player’s hands. vvardenfell is a wonderful region of morrowind and i enjoy the diverse landscapes from the humid and mysterious bitter coast, the harsh ashlands, and the welcoming breadbasket which are the ascadian isles (lovely until you stumble upon the plantations). the exploration and navigation are unmatched and nothing will ever match the skill that is navigating the world through in game directions and learning the silt strider, boat, and stronghold routes. not to get into mark/recall/almsivi and divine intervention. you arrive at vvardenfell as a stranger and the world is hostile, but as the character becomes more familiar with the land you the player master the transversal and that’s honestly some sexy marriage of theming and gameplay. some aspects have aged horribly which is why these days i play with the amazing sexual harassment remover mod.

i think everyone owes it to themself to play outer wilds (NOT worlds). it plays into the strengths i mentioned above. i can’t say much because it ruins the purpose of the game. it’s a tender bastard of a game that makes me so happy that i am alive at a time i can play it and makes me cry every time i listen to tracks from its ost. the writing is maybe the best i have ever witnessed in any art form (“the pain of your absence is sharp and haunting, and i would give anything to not know it; anything but never knowing you at all (which would be worse)”). just play it. i wish i could hire someone to bonk me on the head and give me selective amnesia so i could play it for the first time again. just. play. it.

there’s more, like octopath traveler which is quickly climbing through the ranks, darkest dungeon, pillars of eternity, project zomboid, dragon’s dogma, journey, and more

also, it’s ts2.

18: do you have any sims merch? ew, no

19: do you have a youtube for sims? ew, no

20: how has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? it has, but i’m not quite sure i can describe it? it’s been decades of sims so of course it’s changed.

21: what’s your origin id? come back with a warrant

22: who’s your favorite cc creator? i am a known sforzcc simp

23: how long have you had a simblr? wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy (too long)

24: how do you edit your pictures? i use Very Legitimate photoshop. these days i just run a photopeia action that gives it some color aberration and slap some noise on it.

25: what expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? i love sims 2 freetime? hobbies are such a great addition to the game that just fits in seamlessly with the rest of the game

26: what expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? the eaxis stop shoving shit into ts4 and fix issues and let the modders have it pack

[jeskoholic]

A Little Piece of You Chapter 13: The Mending and the Melancholy

This is a chapter from an on-going series. If you missed out on the previous entries, you can check my masterlist.

Previous chapter: X & Y

Word count: 6,804

Tags: Male OC, Angst, Mystery girl, College, Breakup (?)

Enjoy!

---

“So, after you and Wonyoung broke up, you never had a chance to talk again Jae-in? She never cared to even explain things to you, especially clarify what happened after you two broke up?” Bae Joohyun asked after a short while of silence, her attention split on consuming another one of Jae-in’s bought tarts and keeping her fury within. Her statement was met with a quick shake of the young man’s head as he then proceeded to give an answer.

“We… we actually talked again, although I would not count our next encounter to be an explanation of sorts. Of course I was still bitter towards her, and I don’t think anyone can blame me for that, so I ceased reaching out to her for a good couple of months. However, she surprisingly contacted me last semester out of nowhere. I honestly forgot about her already at that point so I’m surprised she even contacted me.”

Joohyun raised an eyebrow and glared at her brother.

“She did that? Well, what did she tell you then? What did she want of you? Did she even care to give you an explanation?”

“Actually no… she was… I don’t know what’s going on her head but she wanted to talk to me again… even invited me to go clubbing with her and promised a couple of drinks here and there. I just backed off because I know that she’s still dating the same guy from before, even above the reason that I don’t want to have anything to do with her. It would look so bad once I kept on talking to her especially when the guy finds out what she’s doing behind his back.”

Joohyun scoffed.

“The audacity; do you still have this Jang Wonyoung’s number, Jae-in? Do you still know where she lives?”

“I really don’t…. why?”

“She invited you to go clubbing, right? I’ll give her the clubbing she wants. I’m going to head there and golf-club her house’s windows right now! She was the one who asked for it, Jae-in!”

“Yah, noona, that’s not necessary… it’s been a long time and I’m not even talking to her; nor would I imagine me doing that for the next couple of years. It’s okay. I don’t intend to do so. I’ve moved on.”

“That still isn’t enough!” the step-sister raised her voice as her face dangerously turned wolfish. “My co-workers always criticize me for being too keen on boys, but if there’s one thing that I hate more than that are girls who are overly too flirty! She needs to be taught how to get her hands away from you!”

“Noona…”

“Yah, if you’re going to pick another girl who’s just like Wonyoung, I’m going to kick you off of my house,” she said with both her eyebrows raised. “Yoon Jae-in, I mean it. Your heart is way too precious to just give on people who would readily break it, you pabo. Stay single for a while and find the best girl for you, okay?”

“I… I get it noona… t-thank you.”

“And she better be pretty. I should be your standard, you small bean. Your next girlfriend should be equal or even better than your own sister, and then at least I could be confident that she can take care of such a fragile heart like you. She better be serious too. If you’re at the same age and she’s still way too playful, don’t even consider her. You need someone who is mature, not someone who’s still thinking of playing games.”

“Yah, if I were to put you as my standard, noona, I might die single because no one else could come close to you.”

She raised her fork as if aiming to smack Jae-in with it.

“Hey, if that’s the case you’re not going to die alone, you pabo! If you end up not getting married, it’s not like I’m leaving you here! Of course I’ll be watching your back! I’m being dead serious here, Jae-in-ssi. You need to be picky. You know, if only it would not turn out to be weird, I would have agreed to get married to you just so that you won’t fall to the wrong hands. I won’t even mind if that was the case.”

“Yah noona that’s so weird to say!”

“’So weird’ my butt, at least I know how to take care of you, you stupid little bean! I mean it. Next time that someone likes you, consider if they would even pass my approval. Just put that thought on the back of your head and then you’re going to get better people. I promise you.”

Bae Joohyun finally stood up from where she was seated, brushing her long shirt off of crumbs while moving to pick up the empty plate beside Jae-in, but not before moving to give her younger brother a hug. He then responded by placing his head over her narrow waist as she stood beside his sitting figure.

“And one more thing,” she continued while Jae-in hugged her in return. “Make sure that when you give promises to people that they would promise on the same way, okay? You never mentioned anything about Wonyoung’s promise to take care of you. It was only you who promised to do so, Jae-in, so I guess that’s why you two turned up the way you did. Please don’t do that next time. I don’t want anyone breaking your heart. I’ll break their souls if they do.”

Wait, did she really not…?

“Well, you better get some rest while I take care of this plate,” Jae-in’s elder sister said as she finally broke off of the hug from him. “I remembered that I had to send a document for a client as well; it almost flew off of my head because of how occupied I am with your story.”

“I will do that, noona. I’ll just finish some dues.”

“Don’t you ever talk to that Wonyoung again okay?” she said in reply while walking towards the door, pointing a red-nailed index finger towards Jae-in’s direction. “Don’t even imagine that I’m not serious when I said I’m going to kick you off.” And that statement earned a laugh from Jae-in.

“I won’t noona, I promise. Please take care!”

A smile was etched on Jae-in’s face as Joohyun disappeared through his door frame. He eyed Jang Wonyoung’s letter for a moment, the thought of even chucking it to the bin was not even entertained by the slightest. After all, he already moved on from her, and even managed to keep the letter’s message concealed from him for years. He figured there was no real reason to break that streak.

He also knew that Joohyun had an ounce of humour in every statement that she said for him, but there was no stopping all of it from being true. Somehow his misgivings were gone that night with the short conversation; allowing himself to lull back into his and Wonyoung’s story gave a huge light on his current situation with Jeon Soyeon. He mentally thanked that one conversation with Shinwon as well, as it was the one that ignited everything up to that very point.

And then he heard footsteps coming from the hallway outside of his room. There was no other real person whom it could belong to, and so he prepared himself for whatever his older sister has to say as she seemed to be rushing on her way back.

Joohyun’s figure immediately showed up again on the door a couple of seconds after that. The plate was already gone from her hands and he could see a couple of water droplets from the porcelain-like skin of her forearms. Her expression was quite shocked, as if just realizing something on the way back.

“Yah, Jae-in-ssi! What do you mean that Jang Wonyoung was your ‘first in literally everything’?!”

---

Surprisingly, that night’s sleep was one of the best I had so far. I found it ironic that that was even the case even right after the night with Soyeon; even more so after that crap ton of explanation that I had to explain to noona with the conversation. It was one of my busiest days, emotion-wise. Regardless, everything that came after that night was amazing; it shed new light on things and I was able to steady myself for the flight ahead. Being able to voice my deepest feelings for Jeon Soyeon to Shinwon was already a plus, and having to recall things with my ex, Wonyoung, and having finally tell it to someone who really cared… boy, it does not get any better than that. On the case of Soyeon, I’m glad that it was finally out. I would have unintentionally made myself suffer more for stalling unnecessarily because of my pride. I have my mind set on one path: I need to tell her the truth.

I need to let go of Soyeon.

The only question left was how am I supposed to do it?

As a couple of days passed, I was merely just thinking and debating perhaps every possible way I could convey it to her. I need to plan this carefully because I am bound to have a reaction of some form from Soyeon’s side of the spectrum. Probably a slap, her lashing out, her screaming at me, punching me…. whatever; I have to prepare myself for those kinds of things. It would be better for her to hurt me physically in that manner than me inciting a mental dent in the long run. It was, for the collective good. Good news is I got things covered up for the most part.

The part that I really don’t know was the most important as well.

I’m glad that Shinwon actually has my back on this. He’s right; I should not let this become another Wonyoung situation. But then… what exactly would Yoon Jae-in do?

Do I just blatantly tell her the truth and prepare for what’s to come?

Ignore every ounce of overthinking and head on, with a ‘fuck-it’ attitude?

Do I need to consider how it would affect the new friend group with how I’m planning to tell of these to her?

But then again… at the end of the day, they are my friends. If Soyeon would lash out and stay off of the group for a while (and it’s not like it’s surprising if she ever did that), it would be normal. It would be weird if she would not. Something was telling me that if Soyeon would cause something; a rift that would tear us apart, then so be it. I’m sure my real friends would be there for me even if it would cause such a huge scandal between us. They would understand why I’m doing it.

I really need to tell her how I feel because it’s starting to get more complicated as time continues to pass by.

I need to man up and stop fucking overthinking, because that is where the mess would begin to come. Go in there, Yoon Jae-in, tell her and then go out.

This whole self-conditioning thing is weird to do when I’m at the train heading to school. Ditching the bus for a faster, more expensive way of travel was not ideal, especially when the station was so much further from North Line compared to when I would board a bus. However, I figured that that morning stroll was my reward for finally piecing it out for my own. I really feel lighter today more than anything.

Now, I need to tell Soyeon how I feel before the week ends. I would have less time to overthink if I do it that way.

---LATER THAT DAY---

The skies have begun to darken as I would have expected. A huge blanket of nimbus covered each and every space of a once perfectly blue horizon earlier in the morning. Now, I’m glad that I decided to take the longer route this morning as my plans for an afternoon walk would have been ruined with the impending rain. I found it really weird that this resembled that day years ago when Wonyoung broke up with me. It’s just that crazy.

Anyway, I followed the normal schedule of the approaching week ahead with my final 4 PM class like usual, Social Sciences; admittedly one of the few minor engineering subjects I really learned to enjoy as the semester progressed, quite next to Modern Ethics and Philosophy.

A huge flash of light blasted through the room’s windows followed by the loud sound of thunder causing my own professor to take a pause with the lesson. The intensity of the boom was enough to cause a couple of girly squeals to come from the outdoor hallway. It was only a matter of time before the rest of the skies began to turn even darker grey until the huge, almost instant shower of rain was met from the outside. The teacher resumed the discussion, albeit ocassionally distracted by the strong downpour as well as the thundering from outside.

Minutes passed and it was already close to 5 PM when another flash cut through the sky. I could tell that it was closer from the building this time, as the booming thunder followed shortly right after that.

“I think even the skies are telling me to dismiss all of you,” the teacher, Mr Lee, said with a chuckle. “I won’t argue with natural order then. We’re just ten minutes off, so I guess I’d just give those minutes to you. Please prepare your umbrellas because it’s raining hard outside. Thank you for listening; Class dismissed!” he concluded with a curt bow.

“Thank you sir!” the class echoed in unison as we all watched him exit through the front door first before the rest of us. Then, the corridor was immediately flooded by people coming in and out of their respective classrooms. The fact that some had their wet umbrellas with them caused a lot of water to spill down the floor and mix with the dust and dirt, already adding another factor of difficulty with the already cramped space. However, this development was not really new to me as it was always the case especially on this part of NLIU.

Anyway, several minutes later I finally managed to work my way out of the crowded mess and walk through the huge hallway. I still have no idea what else I should do now that it was raining hard outside. My original plan was to stay a bit in Naevis, but again with the rain, I am sure that there would be a lot of people staying back there having the same idea. Heading to Metro station to do some window shopping and kill some time before I head home was the automatic second choice. Obviously it would be a lot more complicated to traverse there by foot at this rate. So, just because of a sudden downpour, all of my plans for this afternoon dissolved into thin air. It is what it is. I certainly cannot do anything about that.

Well, now I’m just stuck at the premises of the University with nothing else to do. Going home was a definite option, but for everyone else that had their class ending on this hour I’m pretty sure they have the same thoughts. Taxis and bus stops would be flooded and I don’t think I want to wedge myself onto that. It takes too much effort for minimal results. How else would you walk around the city if the rain simply won’t let up?

As much as it was weird to admit, I wish that I have class on this time. I’d rather stay behind the school’s rooms and let the time pass normally than get stuck without anything else to do.

With that, I decided to head to the place that I was absolutely sure would be empty save for a couple of people; the very same place that gave me sleep when I was on those terrible mood swings: the University library. It definitely was better than staying anywhere else. Plus, the silence ought to be really soothing with the current mood that I’m having.

Of course, the only thing that was really annoying about it is the long flight of stairs. At this point, I would even call them a plight.

Anyway, after a seemingly long session of walking up the NLIU Library’s aforementioned stairs, I reached the fifth, top-most floor of the already tall building. It was this huge, twin overlooking mezzanines looming over tall book shelves, with long and spacious tables arranged along within the mezzanine’s perimeter. As expected, the rain literally deleted the beautiful scenery that was Seoul from the rest of the views of the inside world, settling the surrounding window landscape with a mere, clean slate of white and grey clouds along with the occasional thunder.

I walked around the reading area, scanned the tables here in there for someone that I potentially know. It was not because I was looking for someone to keep me company, but I did that just so I’ll be able to hide from them. I really am not in such a mood to converse and I just wanted to embrace the quietness of the place. Luckily, it was not even necessary for me to even look around that much given there are not much people who were staying in this place, sadly. I feel like I still could see a couple of the same people that I saw here from before: architecture students busy with their plates, med students doing outlines of their laboratory reports, and some engineering students who just wanted some sleep for the most part. Well, the place is soothing so I think it was just perfect for what they wanted to do.

I continued to scan the place in search for a good spot, which automatically equated to the spot close to the window. I was already making my way there passing by a table with a girl occupied on writing on her notebook. After passing her, I saw a glimpse of the books she had with her and noticed a couple of engineering books that I recognized, stacked amongst piles and piles of other books about chemistry. The spot was already waiting for my arrival when I felt my phone vibrate softly on my pocket.

BZZZZT

With that, I toned down my walking to fish the phone up, eventually going to an immediate stop as I read the chat.

It was from Soyeon.

The flash of her name alone was enough to make my heart jump.

Soyeon: (Just now) Hey, are you free this afternoon by any chance, Jae-in? Our prof posted that he would not come to school because of a mishap, but it just so happened that I’m already here as well and I can’t go home because of the rain. I forgot my umbrella. I was wondering if you’re still at NLIU and maybe we can hang out… it has been a while since we saw each other. I really miss you already. Please reply if you’re free, okay?

That moment that I read her text, my heart immediately skipped a beat.

Things suddenly hit me like a truck as this felt like a very perfect opportunity. Soyeon was free, and so was I.

This might be the perfect night to call things off once and for all. The fact that everything aligned on that manner seemed to make sense. The opportunity was already there.

Should I grab it?

Should I do this now without prior planning in my head?

I promised myself that I would tell her of everything as soon as I could. That was the penultimate conclusion of my conversations with Shinwon and Joohyun-noona. I even told myself that I would do this as soon as I could, preventing any further overthinking that could possibly hinder my already solid-decision. That way, I could just tell her of everything and anything else that would follow would require nothing else from me but endurance to whatever her reaction would be.

You got this Jae-in. The heavens have given their permission; one sliver of time was all I needed.

You need to do this now. Don’t waste the time given to you.

Jae-in: Let’s meet at the cafeteria. I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.

After standing in place for what felt like minutes, I finally gathered myself and gave one last look at the spot I intended to occupy for the time being. There was a part of regret of not being able to sit on such a perfect spot, especially on such a beautiful and cozy rain like this one. However, with the thought of the event that would follow weighed greater on my shoulders. My blood was rushing all over my body, perhaps made worse with the sudden surge of adrenaline. This was it.

I turned a complete 180 from my position while still occupied on my reply to Soyeon. I was about to briskly head back towards the entrance of the mezzanine when…

WHAM

---

The sound of numerous books falling towards the floor was the sound that greeted him as soon as he felt himself bump into someone. It would turn out that his rush to leave the library was met with the girl he passed by previously, eager to replace the borrowed books on their respective shelves. It just so happened that the direction she chose was the same route Jae-in would use to exit the said mezzanine, inevitably having them both to cross paths right into each other.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry,” he said in panic and in complete embarrassment, being the first one to help gather the books for the said girl. All signs of rush was dropped as they were immediately replaced with embarrassment. “I am really sorry; I didn’t see you there.”

“I-it’s fine… I didn’t think that you’d move as well,” the girl answered with a soft voice that was almost a whisper. It was soothing already on the very first impression.

Once done, Yoon Jae-in brought the books back up and stacked them on the nearby table to align them properly for her. True enough, they were the same books he recognized from earlier, only registering the other books then by being focused on Chemistry and Molecular Theory, along with the Engineering Books he knew.

“D-do you need help putting them back?” he asked, pointing towards the stack of books rather shyly. “I-I can help you put them back if you want…. I’m really sorry for that.”\

Why am I so tense?

“N-no… I can manage. Besides, you seemed to be in a hurry. It’s okay. I would not have borrowed them if I didn’t think that I could bring them back on my own… t-thank you for the offer though…”

“Are you sure? I can spare a couple of minutes… I mean, I really feel bad for toppling these all over,” he replied as he lifted the couple of books up to return back to her waiting arms.

“I could not ask so much of you. Thank you for—“

The woman’s voice trailed off as she received the stack, unintentionally getting both hers and Jae-in’s hands in contact from under. The sudden warm sensation of a man’s skin definitely startled her, causing her face to turn towards Yoon Jae-in. There was a short flash that occurred on that very moment. Maybe it was from the lightning, or maybe both of them merely imagined it coming. With her raising her face up, it unintentionally brought her face close to his. That was only the time that Jae-in saw the face of the girl, all in close detail as he could possibly have.

Her beauty was definitely simple, yet seemingly radiated a hint of elegance. She had a plain, small face, V-shaped jawline, heart shaped lips, small nose, and an innocent expression that only helped her already beautiful visage. Despite wearing the standard green jacket of her department, her fair skin tone suited the exclusive aura of elegance she had. However, her face and her smile certainly were kind and warm; it even felt that she was the one apologetic for bumping Jae-in in the first place.

“T-Thank you for picking these up,” she said once again in that soft tone. It was her time to by shy now as it oozed out of every syllable. Jae-in certainly did not think that her already soft voice could even go softer. “Y-you’re in a hurry right?”

Jae-in blushed uncontrollably as his ears flushed red. The girl averted her gaze from his as well.

“Oh, right, right; sorry again. Please study hard,” Jae-in said as he panicked internally once again, finally giving the girl a short bow before crossing her for the exit. He left of embarrassment in attempt to conceal his flaming ears as well as his fast-beating heart; quite eager to descend from the huge tower of a library and finally make his way to the task at hand.

I need to get to Soyeon now. Sheesh, that was so embarrassing.

---

After that rather embarrassing encounter with another student, Jae-in then joined the river of students from the outside and took another route towards the school cafeteria, obviously strategized and carefully planned to prevent him from ever opening his umbrella. He rushed all across the roofed buildings of the campus, mixing with students of different departments just so he can arrive without further stress and using the longer route to shake his tension off. Soon enough, he found his way into the school’s main building and into the right wing, where the wide and spacious cafeteria was located. Due to the lateness of the afternoon as well as the on-going storm on the outside, the place was mostly empty aside from some students eating as well as staff members.

He scanned the surroundings curtly and immediately found the figure of Jeon Soyeon waiting at the far corner with an eager expression on her face along with an empty cup of tteukbokki in front of her.

“Hi Jae-in…!” Soyeon greeted with a wide smile, waving towards his figure as he approached with a heavy heart. As soon as the young man was within her reach, Soyeon moved to press her small frame against his with a sincere and tight hug.

“H-hi Soyeonnie… umm, can we please sit for a bit?” he awkwardly said, returning her hug as well. “I… I want to talk to you about something.”

Soyeon held his hand and pulled him towards the table, taking a seat next to him right after. She then kept her hands tightly clamped with Jae-in’s, seemingly expecting something bright to come from him. He’s already not fond of how enthusiastic she is.

“I’ve never saw you so eager to see me! Is there something wrong or did you just miss me that much, my Jae-in?”

Come on, Jae-in… keep it together. You got this. Calm down and tell her the truth.

“S-Soyeon… I wanted… I actually w-wanted to see you… there’s something that… something that I’ve been thinking for a while now… umm… it’s… it’s about us…”

The young woman’s face lit up the moment that she heard the word ‘us’ escape from Jae-in’s own mouth. However, she seemed to have caught on the exhausted mood and stuttered speech of Jae-in that her face shifted to a look of concern. Every ounce and attempt to even tease Jae-in was swept out of the waters.

“Are you okay Jae-in? You look pale… oh my god, even your hands are cold. Did something happen?”

BOOM

A bright flash followed by a loud thunder was seen from the outside, effectively distracting Soyeon from Jae-in as she moved to see through the windows.

“Gosh, the rain’s really pouring down hard here. This is such a bad timing to not bring an umbrella.”

“Soyeon,” Jae-in began once again as soon as he regained his composure. “I have… I have something to tell you… sorry for interrupting but… this is something that has been bugging me for a long time… I… I’ve wanted to tell this to you…”

Shit, I’m so fucking nervous. This cold weather is definitely not helping out.

Soyeon stared blankly at him and then supplied her with a shy smile as well as two raised eyebrows.

“Is… Is this about what I think it is, Jae-in?”

“This… this is… yes; this is about what happened after Skylight… I think I have a response for what you asked me before. Soyeon… I have an answer already…”

“Is that true? Oh my god… what is it? I’m eager to know what it is!”

“I know that… I know that we’ve sort of been together after that, right? We… we acted so sweet together and… we’ve done a couple of things that normally only dating people would do. Umm… after your confession everything just aligned ourselves and we… we just treated each other as if we’re dating. If anything, only an official label was left for that to work out as it should have… Would you agree that with how the situation went on, the decision seemed to dial down from my end, right? The way that this brought us… it boils down to me making the decision…”

She nodded and spoke: “Of course… I intended it to be that way, Jae-in-ssi… I made it clear to you since then that I was really serious with my feelings for you, to the extent that I am even going way out of line at times just to prove that I really love you… umm… oh my… I’m getting nervous with where this is going…”

Soyeon rubbed her hands with his. Jae-in in turn, breathed in heavily.

“Soyeon… for the past weeks and months that you’ve told me your feelings, you proved to me very much how serious you were to me. I already felt everything that you needed me to feel… every kiss, every hug, every moment we shared together… I felt that you were really that much into me. There’s no denying that. I’ve never felt so appreciated for the longest time ever and I will forever be grateful and flattered that one Jeon Soyeon even took a liking into me. You were such a talented individual, appreciative and very loving as well, which is why I don’t think that I am even deserving of the attention that you’re giving…

“I’m sorry Soyeon, but I don’t think we should continue this… this thing that’s going between us. I don’t think I can return the same feelings that you’ve been giving me.”

The world might as well have frozen for the couple of them as silence shrouded the succeeding minutes. Jae-in sat in his place thinking of what to follow to that, yet also debating whether to not add another statement to the mix while Soyeon digested what he just said. The young Korean woman’s expression was not grim; it was merely just a blank stare that felt a thousand times scarier than if she would have glared at him. He even thought of repeating the statement in case she did not hear it the first time, and he could never have been more relieved that he did not do that. The tension was so high up between them that it would only be a matter of time before someone would eventually break.

This time, it was Jae-in… and perhaps he never should have spoken up after denying his chance the first time.

“Soyeon… Please don’t get me wrong… I appreciate each and every single thing that you did. I would have loved to stay if that was the case but… I can’t keep up. I can’t just let myself wake up every night to respond to you, to go out with you in the middle of the evening… I have denied a lot of your invitations to drink because… because you know that I just can’t wedge it on my schedule because of a lot of things.

“Can’t you see…? There are a lot of things that we do not agree upon, and a lot of those involve things that I normally do in my everyday life. I don’t think that I can let those things go just yet…  Lately, I feel like I’m not being myself because… because I’m letting you drag me too much into situations… I sorry… just—“

“Is this a joke?” Soyeon said with a straight face; her eyes starting to get glassy. “You’re kidding me, right Jae-in?”

“I’m not… actually I am—“

“I never asked you to do those things in return, Jae-in… I did everything because I wanted to prove my love for you! I did those things because this is who I really am, and I wanted to show you the purest form of me that I could show, why can’t you see that?”

“Hey, it’s not… it’s not that I did not see those… I told you; I felt everything... I felt how serious you were to me, and Hongseok and the others were a testament to everything that happened…”

“Why are you ending us then? If that’s the case then why the fuck are you letting me go?”

“Because… I feel like things are starting to get out of hand. I feel like we’re slowly starting to do things that only normal couples would do… some of which are even too overboard. I would lie if I did not say that I did not like any of those things, but I feel like… I want to save it soon. I’m being too overwhelmed and I want to stop it before it even gets worse… I… I’m not yet ready for any of these…”

“Was… was this because of what happened in the private room? Did you really think that… that we’re about to do it then? Was this because I’m being too close and too stuck with skinship that you’re feeling uncomfortable? Tell me, Jae-in! Tell me what’s wrong with me and I will change everything just to be with you! Tell me what I would do so that you can give this doomed relationship a chance, please!”

“Soyeon please… even if I wanted to, that would be too unfair for your end. I don’t want to give you the wrong ideas; to give you hope that there’s something at the end of this tunnel… I’m not yet ready. I don’t think I’m in the condition to head on a relationship right now; I hope you understand.”

“Then everything that I did for you was all for nothing?”

“Soyeon, please,” he said before reaching out his hands to hold both of hers once again. However, Soyeon already anticipated the action and immediately withdrew them as soon as she felt the contact of skin. “I’m doing this to be fair to you, otherwise—“

“The only thing being unfair h-here is you! I’m all i-in it for you, Yoon Jae-in, why the fuck can’t y-you see that? I thought you said before that you wanted t-this but why are you doing this to me n-now?! Why are you already l-letting us go before we even get a chance to b-be a thing?!” Her voice said, shaking with emotion.

“Soyeon… I’m not yet ready. I… I have a lot of things to prioritize and do. I don’t think, with a good conscience, that you deserve to be treated like this. I don’t want you to hope and wait for something to happen when I can’t promise you anything in the near future. I just want you to be free and not be confined with me… there are a lot of people there. I’m sure there are a lot of guys better than me. I’m sorry Soyeon, but it’s not yet time…”

That was the time that Soyeon finally let her tears trail down her cheek.

“I h-hate you, Yoon J-jae-in,” she snapped, this time glaring at him with a pair of teary eyes trying to keep her anger within.

“I’m sorry Soyeon… I really am. I just can’t do it this time because of my responsibilities and—“

“TO HELL WITH YOU AND YOUR DAMN RESPONSIBILITIES,” Soyeon roared as she finally reached her tipping point. Her angry voice echoed across the small cafeteria and took the attention of the few students and onlookers while she shouted at Jae-in with tears on her eyes. “YOU SHOULD’VE SAID ‘NO’ BACK THEN. YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE RETURNED MY KISSES WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE! YOU MADE ME BELIEVE THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING AT THE END OF THIS GODDAMN THING JAE-IN! IF YOU DIDN’T LIKE ME THEN YOU SHOULD’VE SAID BEFORE I WASTED ALL MY DAMN TIME ON YOU! I HATE YOU JAE-IN! I HATE YOU!”

In that instant, Soyeon immediately stood up and supplied Jae-in with one deadly glare. As a reflex, Jae-in stood as well and tried to calm her down by attempting to hold her hand, yet it only made her state worse. Soyeon immediately swatted his extended hand with astounding force, slapping it off of her. Then, to his surprise, Jeon Soyeon ran towards the cafeteria door without an ounce of warning, taking her bag with her and exited towards the raging downpour from the outside.

There she was, on the middle of the rain and thunder, she ran without a care in the world even ignoring the constant splash and flow of water on her face and clothes. She braved the wet grounds of the university taking any means necessary to distance her from Jae-in.

Jae-in, on the other hand, immediately fished his bag and umbrella and immediately followed Soyeon to the outside. He chased her against the continouos gush of rain, his umbrella keeping the majority of his face dry while he ran for her amidst the slippery floor. Soon, he finally reached Soyeon’s drenched figure outside of the school’s Medicine Department building.

With the rush of adrenaline on his body, Yoon Jae-in reached for Soyeon’s arm and tugged it to get her attention. It was effective after all; Soyeon finally stopped on her tracks and turned her figure towards him; her face flashing with anger as her hair, clothes, and face were all soaked with rain and possibly even remnants of her tears.

“Soyeon, please,” Jae-in said as he brought the umbrella over the pair of their figures. “Don’t do it like this. Don’t go towards the rain like this. I know that you hate me now, but please, take it. It’s the last thing I can do for you. I’m really sorry…”

Soyeon gently approached Jae-in, and with a swift movement of her arm she smacked the umbrella out of his grasp, leaving the both of them to be engulfed by the heavy rain.

“Did you even have feelings for me, Jae-in?” she asked, every syllable oozing with anger. “Tell it to my face. Tell the truth. Did you even like me even for just a little bit?”

There was a pause, a long and drawn out one as they were both drowned by the noise of the rain around them.

“Did you even love me, Jae-in?”

Jae-in finally looked back at her eyes, through the drops of rain, tears, and the glare on them and met her pupils. He paused for a moment, took in some air, and finally shook his head slowly.

SLAP

“Stay there. Stay there the whole night. Stay there until you die. You deserve worse than that. You’re going to regret this soon, Yoon Jae-in.”

The sting of Soyeon’s slap had only begun to bit in him right after she uttered the words that felt like a curse. The force of Soyeon’s slap was so strong; so filled with hatred and emotion that it forced Jae-in’s head towards his right and eyeing the dead umbrella that lay lopsided on his foot. Slowly, he turned his gaze back up front and he saw the figure of Jeon Soyeon walking on the rain and this time away from him once again. For the first time, he felt his feet numb and unresponsive. He wanted to chase her, but majority of his body declined until Jeon Soyeon finally turned a corner and disappeared into the rain.

Jae-in was left there devastated and dumbstruck, cheek stinging from Soyeon’s solid slap. His eyes merely gazed towards the direction where Soyeon disappeared, with the ghost of her final glaring eyes staring into his soul knowing that he might not get the chance to see her up close ever again.

[troublcmakcrs]

{ ⊾ } —- favorite rp memory? / { ⋎ } —- favorite thing about the rp community? ( forces you to be nice because its funny ) / { ⊿ } this was talk about your favorite character but amma add spice : talk about your favorite sim character <3

wahhh, i had to leave the mysims rpc after a huge stupid drama blew it up (part of my decision to leave was due to me being busy with school anyway, plus it was just boring to continue in that fandom when half of my rp partners (2 people) suddenly blocked me) but my time in that fandom will always hold a very special place in my heart. it was the first tumblr rpc that i really got into, and it was back in the days of people actually interacting and sending out random asks and tagging their mutuals in random starters. even with only 5 people, a pet rock, and a shoelace in the fandom, the dash felt so vibrant and alive.

i had one ship that i really loved, travis & crystal, wherein i wrote crystal and my friend (at the time) joey wrote travis. they were high school sweethearts, the dumb blond jock boy & the bitchy sassy goth girl riddled with teen angst. and they were sooo cute 💕 i struggle to listen to songs about summer love without going back to them

i do wanna bring my mysims muses back someday, but i'm worried i'll never be able to recapture the magic that was The Thems, i'm sooo :(

     *     *     *

fuck you

my favorite thing about the rpc community is... honestly... just existing as a community. i love seeing everybody's writing and posts on my dash and being able to get inspired by those! while i write entirely for myself (and you should, too!) i find that my writing is better when i'm faced with other writing. there's just something about getting a really good reply from your partner, like when eli hit me with the line "an ouroboros of narcissism" or something like that, that gets me.

you know when you read something so good that your fingers get twitchy and you feel compelled to put them on the keys yourself? i live for that feeling, and it's something i don't get as easily in the fanfiction community. but in the rpc, that feedback loop is pretty much constant

     *     *     *

AGH... how could you make me pick a favorite sim?? :( all of the residents of sunset valley (not you, thornton wolff) have me in a fucking vice. (i'm jk, even thornton gets me, but goddamn he is terrible, but that's what's fun about him. pretty much every time i play with thornton, i make him the biggest bitch imaginable)

but ig... my favorite sim out of all of them is probably mortimer goth. he's definitely gotten the most playtime out of all of the sunset valley townies. i love going against established canon and making him marry the ghost, lolita goth, in his backyard instead of bella bachelor like he's ~supposed~ to or whatever. sb pointed out that that was very twilight-ish, and i'm like. fuck it, idc, maybe twilight has a point. it is kinda freaky, but i think it's cute. weird but cute. let me live, goddamn!!

a very close second is agnes crumplebottom, mortimer's aunt. without player intervention, she will pretty much always die loveless and alone, despite having the "hopeless romantic" trait, and that breaks my heart :( so i intervene as often as i can bc i can't stand to see her die lonely :((

she's a recurring character from... i believe the very first sims game, although she didn't come in until one of the expansion packs. and she made her debut as a crotchety old woman who beat happy lovers who committed pda in front of her with her purse, which ok.......... queen...

but also with sims 3 giving us the backstory that her fiance died right before their HONEYMOON and the implication that she's only bitter about happy couples bc she feels she lost her chance at love... she got me like :(((

(also i just looked it up and i was right. agnes was first introduced in the expansion pack for the sims, "hot date." mortimer has also been in all 4 sims games released so far, in the very base versions of all.)

[neo-percs]

OVERSTIMULATION:: ( day 6 )

WARNING:: one night stand, fingering, oral (f!receiving), overstimulation, unprotected sex, drinking.

SUMMARY:: in which you sit at a bar drinking when the guy next to you begins to ask you questions about yourself instantly clicking. By midnight he's escorting you to his apartment.

WORD COUNT:: 3.5K

The club was buzzing, everyone gathered under clouds of smoke and dancing as sweat gathered on their skin. The walls and floors were vibrating from the hard base booming through the gigantic speakers propped up on the DJ booth. Ignoring all of the drunk women and men stumbling to the bar asking for bottles and shots with chasers. You play with the straw jammed in between the melting ice at the bottom of your drink and occasionally sipping from it. Being left by your friends in exchange to mingle with whoever they could dig their nails into a bitter feeling swirled in the pit of your stomach.

Your eyes attached themselves to the screen of your phone as you scroll mindlessly as you feel a pair of eyes burn right through your side profile, you choose not to look in case the person happens to be some random or worse. "What kind of drink is that" the person besides you finally speaks making you look up in his direction instantly taken aback. He was fitted into a black button up the sleeves rolled to the elbow, his hair a pale shade of blonde and his sharp features make you blink thinking the alcohol was finally taking its toll.

He was looking at you, he was speaking to you and yet you hadn't uttered a single word back only glancing at the glass with a clear drink and lime wedged onto the rim of the glass. "It's a margarita, I'm not very wide range with my drinks" you shrug as you finally let the words ripple through your throat, speaking loud enough over the music for him to hear you. He nods as he waves down the bartender who was cleaning off cups with a white towel. "What can I get for you?" The man asks his eyes are round and his bright magenta hair makes you eye him more at the interesting choice in hair color.

"Can I get the same margarita as her please?" He asks only getting a firm nod and smile from the worker who's name tag had been blurred out due to the bright flashing lights. "Nice manners" you laugh, he seemed to be in your age range and for him to have manners was almost like being the tallest dwarf. "It's the bare minimum, I don't want him to spit in my drink or anything for being rude" he shrugs which makes you bite back a smile. As a minute of sheer silence between the both of you.

"Why are you here by yourself? Shouldn't you be with friends at a place like this?" He asks, although he doesn't mean for it come off in weird way and you knew that and wouldn't take it as anything less than a sheer question of curiosity. "I am here with friends, but I'm pretty sure their off wondering around trying to get laid by some random girls in the corner over there" you wave off to the back right corner where you assumed Mark and Taeyong had wondered off to without even a second glance. He hums "what about you?" You ask delivering with a curious glance at him as he takes a sip out of his drink.

"I came here with a friend to look out for him on his date but he left to get laid too" he shakes his head with a smile thinking of Jaemin stumbling out with his date on his arm and a warm smile. And as time went on you and Jeno learn each others names, ask each other about hobbies, and what you do for a living. It was almost as if you were on a first date over drinks in one of the weirdest circumstances as to why you're both alone.

But as you continue the both of you grew to have a flirty banter going, and when you finally see people are starting to leave you both not end the night. Walking around the empty streets talking your arms brush against each other, you could feel the ache in your feet as you both walk down one of the still bustling streets when Jeno pitches the idea to walk to his place as it's closer. By the time you had both reached the front doors your stumbling and giggling holding onto each other's hands in case the other falls. Pulling the door open for you, you both walk to the elevator with dopey smiles resting on your lips without even realizing you had yet to let go of his hand.

Your breathing gets heavier as you realize that you were now alone, holding hands with an attractive guy you met at a bar. "You okay?" Jeno mumbles as he looks over at you with concerned eyes "you look like your burning up" he says as his free hand reaches to cup your cheek feeling how warm your face is his eyes flickers to yours not realizing how close he had gotten and how intimate his actions were. You look up at him nodding without a single word closing the gap between you both.

As your lips collide the both of your press into each other eagerly, not breaking until you could hear the elevator door open, both of you pulling away shyly as you meet the gaze of an elderly couple. You both apologize and scurry out of the doors lighting speed. Jeno guides you to his door embarrassed at the last encounter until he opens the front door. The both of you topple inside smiling as you once again latch onto each other. The room is dark yet the feeling of each other is all you need.

The both of you shedding clothes throughout the halls until you make it into his bedroom with nothing but your underwear on. Your both messily kissing each other until your back is pressed against the bedsheets and your head rests against the pillow.

pulling your panties down and sliding them off your ankle he discards them. The view of your pussy practically shining in all its wet glory. Jeno was desperate. To touch, taste and fill you up in so many ways he couldn't even think straight.

His hands unclip your bra watching your breasts spill out of the fabric and padding. Discarding it his hands palm your chest as leans down to lick your sensitive nipples making you let out a small moan.

Nobody had ever made you feel so good just by barely touching. Until Jeno had decided to drag his face down your stomach, littering small kisses on your sweet supple skin until he stopped at the place you needed him most.

Kissing down your inner thigh sucking hickeys into your skin you shiver at the feeling of his warm tongue giving your puffy lips a small lick. Whispering a curse under his breath he licks again this time he is much more confident.

he holds your thighs when the pleasure starts seizing your limbs, as the feeling of his warm tongue licking from your hole to your clit and sucking needly. You moan as your hand reaches for the back of his head pushing him against your pussy.

Groaning against you sent vibrations all over as you let out a small giggle that broke into a moan feeling the harsh pad of his thumb rub against your clit while his tongue worked to push inside you.

The sounds you make are music to his ears. He presses his nose on your clit, inhaling your scent deeply before his tongue dives inside your waiting pussy. You pull onto his hair, writhing against his face. "Feels so good" you moan as you roll your hips against his face.

You could feel his lips curve against your pussy sending shivers down your spine. The wet muscle repetitively enters you, eager to gather your nectar. It feels like heaven, stomach tightening with each second.

Pulling away his thumb Jeno flattens his tongue against you licking from your entrance to your clit again, kissing it he sucks harshly on the bud with no regard as you moan his name mindlessly.

"Oh fuck" you manage to whimper out you tug at his hair as he groaned, your eyes shut as you "please use your fingers" you moan neediness dripping from your tone.

His hand moving from your plush thigh, his thumb rubbing harsh circles on your clit  he pulled away licking your clit once more his middle and ring fingers make way to your entrance.

Pushing in slowly you groan at the penetration, easing your tight walls around his thick fingers as he pushes them deeper you feel the cool metal on his rings all the way at the knuckles of his fingers as it grounds you from the euphoric feeling.

Pulling his head he looks up at you with your juices on his swollen lips and on his chin his fingers begin to move opening your eyes. You look down at him feeling his gaze as he watches you react gasping as the feeling you grind down against his fingers "you like that? Hm?" He says as he licks your essence off of his lips.

His hair now disheveled  as his cheeks were blooming with a soft blush, you nod eagerly "yeah? You want me to go faster for you?" He coos feeling you clench around him at the sound of his lewd words, you clench harder "yes please" you say losing your mind on his fingers as you absentmindedly grind down on them.

Without a single falter in his movements his fingers began to rub against the gummy part of your walls at a faster rate as the sound of your sopping pussy getting pounded by his fingers made you squeal.

"Oh my god" you cry out hoping to god he wouldn't stop the rewarding pace he had set. Your hips involuntarily buck against his fingers as his assault of pleasure on your pussy consumed you whole.

"I'm close" you whine as the sloshing sound and the sound of you and Jeno's mixed heavy breathing had been the only thing you could hear "yeah, you gonna cum all over my fingers?" He asks teasingly as his tongue licks a long stripe against your clit that had the feeling in the pit of your stomach churning in anticipation for your orgasm.

"Yes, wanna cum just for you" you whine under your breath as he pushes and pulls his fingers in and out of you faster watching you come closer and closer to the edge waiting for him to catch you. He sucks and licks your clit harshly making you let out a loud moan as you cum all over his fingers.

Not stopping his actions he presses his fingers into your thighs pulling you against his face as you try to wiggle away whimpering. The feeling of pleasure had become overwhelming his tongue and fingers making your legs shake around his head as your fingers found the roots of his platinum hair tugging harshly wishing he'd let up. "It's too much" you moan as your thighs tightly wrap around his head. His fingers moving faster earns a loud moan as your back arches off bed sheets.

You could feel another orgasm building up as you hiccup out babbles and pleas from pleasure. The sloppy sounds make your head spin. one of your hands moves to grip the hair on the back of his head and you push his face into yourself even more.

you breathily moaned his name and that made him piston his fingers in and out of you faster and curling them to hit your g-spot your jaw drops as you let out a silent scream as the knot in your stomach is finally released once again yet more intense than the first one.

"So good" he hummed as he fucks you through your high slowing down as he kisses your clit that's now sensitive making you writhed under him. "Doing so good for me" he smiles as he pulls away from you kissing your thighs as if he was rewarding you.

You let out a small huff that turned into a choked moan when his long fingers pulled out of you. With no hesitation he sucked on his fingers licking off any essence and cum you had left on his digits.

Pulling them away he leans in to kiss you letting his tongue brush over yours to taste yourself. Pulling him closer, the kiss becoming more intense and rough, your hand cupping his jaw as the other rests against his naked back you drag your nails against his skin leaving behind red rails of irritation, groaning against your lips Jeno strips out of his remaining clothes. "Do you want to keep going?" He asks sincerity dripping from his tone, you bite your lip nodding as you take this chance as a poor attempt to catch your breath.

"I do, really badly" you huff. Smiling Jeno presses his forehead against yours as his hand falls between his legs he stroked himself before pressing his tip against your clit teasingly he grinds against you moaning at the slick sounds coming from between you both. Your warmth against his shaft has him eager and twitching in his palm yet he's just addicted to the feeling of how warm and wet you feel.

pressing a chaste kiss to his lips and rubbing his tip against your entrance makes his head spin.

Pressing his hips against yours he watches as your soaked and tight walls envelope him with a choked moan "you feel so good" he says as he presses forehead against yours which makes you giggle. As he pushes into you deeper and slowly you whine your legs without a second thought push his hips into you deeper earning a gasp at your own actions "fuck" you moan at the feeling.

"Such a slut, can't even wait for me to be inside you all the way huh?" He says rhetorically as he begins to thrust into your sharply, your moans are the only thing egging him on to keep going while your hands rest against his shoulders; nails begging to drag against his skin.

Your warm puffs of breath against his face has him in a trance. You smelled of cigarettes and cherries and it was so intoxicating for Jeno who's hands greedily need your hips as he drags them against his. The sound of skin against skin in the air made Jeno's eyes roll back. "So good" you babble as your head falls back against the pillow. Your hair was scattered against the leaning space for Jeno to kiss and mark your neck with purple and red splotches.

"Yeah? I fuck you good right?" He says as he pulls your legs over his shoulders and hits a new spot that makes your jaw slack and mind go blank. "Tell me. Tell me how good I fuck you y/n" he demands making you moan even louder "you fuck me so good Jeno I swear" you whine as your nails drag against his skin leaving behind red trails in their wake.

The bed thumps against the dry wall as your moans cover the sound. The sight of Jeno over top of you with a clench jaw and your legs on his shoulders as you clench around him tighter. The sight of his hair falling over his face as sweat begins to trickle against his skin under the red and blue hues from the window.

"You're so big" you slur seeing how good he filled you up to the brim your arms wrap around his neck your foreheads pressed together as you watch him begin to slowly move. Jeno couldn't get enough of the sight as his cock disappeared inside your Pussy.

His cock buried deep inside you that you moan and dig crescent shaped dents into his skin. set a pace for grinding against his lap. The feeling of your velvety walls tightening around making him choke back a moan.

"Oh- god" you whisper shakily. His hands holding onto your hips guiding a pace, the sound of skin slapping with your small moans could be heard throughout the room.

You looked so good with your chest bouncing and your hair all messy. You looked good with a small sheen of sweat on your skin and your makeup smeared, he was addicted to the sight.

Stopping his hips completely and pulling out you whine at the feeling of emptiness "lay on your stomach" he says his tone low and raspy making you not miss a step as you roll over onto your stomach and propping your knees into the mattress.

Arching your back gives Jeno the perfect sight of your ass. You could feel his palm caressing and needing your skin before giving it repeated harsh slaps that had you quivering. Nothing compared to the beautiful stinging feeling on your skin given by him.

"Want you inside me so bad" you mumbled as your fingers grip the sheets, you were so needy that you were dripping down your thighs and it didn't take much for Jeno to run his tongue over his lips and grab onto your hips pushing his tip against you again letting him bottom out fully.

The sharp grip he had on your hips kept you grounded as he set a steady pace that had you panting and moaning. Hearing yourself made your face heat up, dropping your head into the sheets hoping to muffle the pleasure falling from your lips.

"Don't get all shy on me now" Jeno says as his hand pulls your hair into a makeshift ponytail, pulling your head away from the sheets "I wanna hear you. Don't hide from me" he says breathily as his thrusts become more sharp and the sound of him pounding into you was hard not to hear.

"I can't help it. It's too good" you slur your words as you begin to bounce and grind against him to meet his hips. It felt like he was in your stomach and you didn't mind at all, your hands clutching the sheets tighter as he used his other hand to wrap around your throat.

"Aw look at you, all fucked out." He asks as his grip around your throat tightens, you couldn't even gather your words as he hits a spot that has you breathing shakily and your moans are even more louder.

"Right here? Does it feel good here?" He asks as he drags his cock against that same spot again and again "yeah, it feels so fucking good Jeno" you moan as your eyes roll back. The feeling of his sweet lips on your skin as you feel like you're in heaven.

Your thighs are practically shaking at the feeling, pleasure practically taking over your body as Jeno pounds you into his mattress without a single care in the world. Pushing your face against sheets while he becomes sloppy and rougher with every passing second you could feel the pressure in the pit of your stomach growing and waiting to be released.

"I can't take it" you moan as you shake your head "I'm gonna cum" you whimper as you feel warm tears slide down your cheeks. "I think you can baby, you wanna cum so bad right? So take what I give you" he orders sweetly in a faux tone. His thrusts are non stop and you can't help but let the pleasure envelope you.

"Oh fuck" you gasp as the feeling of release comes closer "cum on my cock. I know you can" he coos at you while pulling your hips into his harder than before tipping you over the edge as your walls clench around him sporadically earning a guttural moan ripping through Jeno's throat.

"I'm close, where do you want it?" He asks as he continues to fuck into you "inside. Please cum inside me Jeno" you whimper before you feel the pressure in your stomach let loose "I got you, you're okay" he praised as his fingers rubbed down your spine leaving goosebumps up and down your body.

A few more thrusts slow and deep have your toes curling and sending Jeno into an orgasm struck daze. "Fuck you feel so good" he groans as his hands rub against the red warm skin of your ass. Leaning of you and kissing up your spine as you both bask in your pre orgasm clarity.

Pulling out you turn over and lay on your back Jeno following suit on the other side of the bed still wracking his brain he lazily turns to look at you "please tell me you'll stay the night" he whispers and it makes your heart soar in your chest "I'll stay however long you want" you mumbled as you move closer towards him basking in his warmth.

[dreamwatch]

Thank you to @greenlikethesea for the tag! I LOVE BEING TAGGED!

It’s WIP WednesdaySaturday Tuesday Friday. Time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works: In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names. Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share. That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited! If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

File Names:

Like A Stone

Dustin & Eddie

Eddie Hands One Shot

Steve & Eddie 90s

Prison Fic

Snippet from Like A Stone Below:

****

“Hey dickhead I brought you a gift,” Steve grabs Eddie by the shoulders steering him over to Dustin and Eddie’s not sure if that’s for support or to stop him running away.

Mike looks genuinely excited to see him and gives him a crushing hug. It’s not like they haven’t seen each other lately, but it’s usually at Eddie’s place and saying he’s been low energy would be an understatement. They come to the trailer for him more than themselves, as if they think bringing him video rentals will somehow bring him to life again.  He wishes it was that easy. 

He pats Mike on the back to break the hug before making his way over to Dustin.

“Happy birthday, Henderson.”

Dustin manages to muster up an unconvincing smile, and Eddie will give him a few points for effort. “Thanks, Eddie.”

They hug awkwardly before Steve steps in to save him. “You want your present? Unless you’ve already stolen it from my room.”

“Of course I haven’t!” Dustin rounds on him. “I have manners, Steve. My beautiful mother raised me well.” Eddie watches as Dustin beams at his mom, blowing her a kiss, and she beams right back and catches it in her hand, puts it in her pocket. It’s incredibly sweet and a younger version of himself would be too bitter and jealous to appreciate such a sickly display of affection, but this Eddie is older and has seen some shit so he smiles at Dustin despite the pang of longing in his chest.

He hands over the bag while Steve heads off to get his. 

“Uh, you don’t have to open it now, or anything, you know. Just. Like, whenever.” He shoves his hands into his pockets, feeling awkward. His eyes are darting around the room, half looking for exits and half looking to see if he’s being stared at. There are a couple of kids trying to get a glimpse without looking too obvious, and a couple of adults in the kitchen giving him the stink eye. He’s getting increasingly itchy to leave.

Before he can think about that further Steve wanders back to save him. And isn’t that a weird fucking thing to be thinking right now? That Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington is the person he’s coming to see as a beacon in a dark sea. Jesus.

He watches Dustin rifle through the gift bag.

“My Little Pony, Steve? I’m sixteen you asshole!”

“That’s just the paper, dickhead, I didn’t actually buy you a doll.”

Eddie smiles. “How do you feel about the Care Bears?”

“Jesus Christ,” Dustin shakes his head as if he’s talking to children. 

Eddie grabs a coke and heads into the backyard. The Henderson’s living room isn’t exactly huge and it’s stifling and honestly just being here and showing up is a big deal, right? So he heads off into the yard hoping to find a space to breathe.

It all feels very weird. He was barely out of the hospital this time last year and he had bigger concerns than Dustin’s birthday. It must be hard for Dustin, with half the party missing, along with the extra additions they bring with them - Erica, Nancy, Jonathan. Eddie knows how that feels. He misses the band, more than he will admit to anyone else. And he misses Hellfire, and the huge hole it left behind. The guys, yeah of course, but the sticking up for the guys. The lunch time rabble rousing. God it was fun. 

He misses having fun. He misses feeling light, unburdened. He misses not being frightened.

He misses his life.

He finds a ratty lawn chair that looks like it should take his weight  and lowers himself into it. There’s a couple of women out here he doesn’t recognise, likely friends of Mrs Henderson, and a few more kids. Eddie can’t fathom having this many friends anymore. Did he ever?

“Eddie?”

Fuck. 

“Hey man,” Eddie says, moving to stand up, and… what? Shake his hand? Who is he that he can’t interact with his friends anymore? (Are they even still friends?)

Gareth waves him off, “Sit down, dude. Dustin said your leg is still fucked, you don’t need to stand.”

Right. Was it naive to think they wouldn’t be talking about him? Probably.

The atmosphere is fucking thick with unsaid words and unhealed wounds. He hasn’t seen Gareth in months. It’s been bad enough trying to fight his way through with Dustin and Mike, but Gareth is a different ballgame. They have history. 

****

As always, no pressure, I know some of you guys aren't writing right now, but have a friendly boop on the nose from me. (also, genuinely - if I tag you and you really never want to hear from me again, like cease and desist and shit, please say and I will start keeping a list, because my old fart brain just never remembers!).

@farahsamboolents @cchapsticck @devilyouwere @thisapplepielife @hbyrde36 @cuips-not-cute @occasionaloverboy

And opposite applies, if you're thinking 'bitch never tags me' please let me know and I will legit make a list. I'm always worried about annoying people and they ⬆️ haven't told me to fuck off yet so I keep tagging them. 🤣

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

6.29.23 Thursday

1:47 am

I can't sleep but I took a nap and done showering... I still have windblow trap...

I'm not happy...Thinking of my future... They don't take me seriously, my inner emotion. I wanna leave the hometown, thinking of money and job...

I feel bitter and ugly... I feel conscious... I have blemish on my butt now coz we stopped opening our ac for 6 months already....

I wanna get a bf who can be my support system of course bf is somehow your own personal soul, an another you... I feel conscious now... I can't even afford my bleaching creams and scrub... I'm damage now....

From the past months, my skin was almost perfect and I streamed in "Tagged" coz I like an arab man that I didn't know that he is a prince and I told myself will try to catch the attention of people in "Tagged" probably I can be famous in arab world to have the prince and I'm somehow confident coz my butt was evenly white, in a way....

Since our ac is off here, I feel that I no longer deserve the prince coz of my blemish on my skin most specially on my butt these days ( that I have to fix... ).

I wanna get a colored alien bf now, I want someone supportive on my vanity, I feel so conscious... I have low self-esteem...

2:07 am

Will talk to my friend Kuya Erning about the water, it seems there is a different taste.... hmm... I know we're friends... But I just need to ask him, why it seems there is somehow an after taste of something that from the past year and past months it was yummy...

2:59 am

I can't sleep... I still have windblow trap... If I'm like this I'm somehow worried coz probably I need my calm meds it is somehow sleeping pills.. My mind is awaken by the windblow and paranoaia on water... Probably coz I'm worrying so much...

10:51 am

Uncle Jun went to his best friend Georgia'Z forest ( which I hate them still plus the Betsilogz gang )... They are the people on a circle of friends here and Mimmy will not be there, Kitty probably was always with them ( I hope Kitty will tell me everything).

I have pelvic pain my sciatica or priformis and waiting for alms to have my massage therapy on Elsie ( the pain is here and it is weird ) pain on my lower abdomen, pain at the side and back of my pelvic and pain down to my left leg and sometimes both legs I feel numb....Weird! But my will power says just move and pray that you can make it! But I have sanity that I need to fix this but I have no fundings coz I'm bum and I feel self-pity here... ( fake providence of Uncle DD, that he wanted to be a father figure on Aunt Karen's son that what am I here??? What did they do to me? ) I mean they are part of that whatever " conspiracy" that they had deal on with someone or whatever...

11:18 am

11:25 am

Uncle Jun didn't clean the poops of Neko and Lalah but probably or maybe they poops after Uncle Jun went to the forest...

I'm not gonna clean the poops of Neko and Lalah will just feed them coz I need to preserve my beauty angels somehow...

11:41 am

Another case of Neko coz she is a dog and she needs to be taken care of coz we are human beings.... Gets angels? ( It doesn't matter whose dog is Neko but it is Uncle DD but I'm aiming to adopt her if I have money in the future) the main point dogs should be taken care of by "human beings"....Dog has life, they are given by God as our faithful companion and they are animals like us but we human beings are the highest form of animals...

11:58 am

Special case of Neko,though she has her own dog room but I always transfer her to our old garage space coz it is so hot during noon time until 4pm on her dog room coz the sun is directly pointing out on her dog room...Dog can't stand that heat for 365 days even a K9!

We had so many dogs before and that is the reason why they were all dead after 2 years... All of our dogs... I remember everything now...

When you have dogs you should think of their ventilation space... Dog has rights to live comfortably...

12:23 noon

My repeat recipe "Chicken Tinola"....

But I'm out of gasul today.... Shit!

Waiting for Kuya Elmer coz I have my "Monggo" later dinner...

2:12 pm

Thanks Kuya Jeff for the gasul creditZ...

Cooking the "Mung Beans"...

4:18 pm

I still have windblow trap...

I just hate some church of christ not all but some bad heart coz they are happy seeing me like this, flat and nothing...

Some faker church of christ member in Net 25 probably got some links on the windblow trap..

I'm just being real and I'm having a hard time... Got some creditz and I'm thinking of money and job and still self-pitying and I wanna remove my "deep smile lines"...

7:17 pm

Hmm... Uncle DD will give the rice from Japan the twelve hundredZ.. Only for eating... He doesn't like me....The mean Uncle on me... I figure it out now... He is just giving an exact amount...

7:35 pm

I need to get a job and I feel bitter... I'm becoming wasted day by day... I can see that I'm aging "day by day" ...I can't accept my " deep smile lines" ... I can't expose myself properly which I can be impressive on some uppish men that I can be my target bf to be my "support system"....Everything is so tight as my leggings angels... What about my beauty and impact in the society?

8:24 pm

I feel bitter... I can't exist... I feel fat and ugly and what's the point?

I wanna kill angels and be a star and I wanna wear "Portia"...

10:21 pm

I feel confuse and bitter...

10:34 pm

Be guilty coz I'm just broke???

[jdgo51]

Boundaries Without Question Marks

Today's inspiration comes from:

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes

by Lysa Terkeurst

Editor's note: "If we want more peaceful relationships, we have to turn our life from accepting chaos to pursuing peace." The Good Boundaries and Goodbyes Online Bible Study by Lysa TerKeurst starts July 24th! Sign up today!

"'It’s no wonder we are anxious and feel boundaries are only acceptable and legitimate if the other person agrees with and respects them. In other words, instead of stating our boundaries and ending the sentence with a period, we tag on a question. “You good with that?” “Okay?” “Does that work?” “This is understandable, right?” “You see where I’m coming from, yes?”

Posing a boundary as a question opens us up to be questioned, debated, and disrespected. If a boundary is presented with doubt, it won’t be effectively carried out.

Now, add on top of that the weird notion that if we are Christians, then we are absolutely obligated to sacrifice what’s best for us in the name of laying down our lives for others.

Where did we get the idea that we aren’t allowed to say no, have limitations, or be unwilling to tolerate other people’s bad behavior?

If we are filtering our thoughts of boundaries through wrong perceptions, it’s no wonder many of us find boundaries not just challenging but pretty close to impossible.

Here’s why:

We aren’t sure who we really are. We aren’t sure what we really need. We aren’t sure that if others walked away from us, we’d be okay.

Let’s take an honest look at an important question.

Who are you?

When I took time to answer this question for myself, I wondered why I’d never addressed this before. In a moment of honest reflection, it felt incredibly freeing to state for myself who I really am rather than when I’m trying to defend myself against the judgments of others.

Here’s who I am. I am a woman who loves God and loves other people. Therefore, because of Christ in me (Galatians 2:20), I am empowered to be the version of me God intended when He created me. I’m kind, creative, caring, generous, fun, and loyal. I have those qualities, but they aren’t what is most apparent when people use me, take advantage of me, make unrealistic demands of me, and make wrong assumptions about me when I say no. In other words, when I’ve let someone violate my boundaries, I can get so frustrated that I act in completely opposite ways from the woman I really am. This type of reaction is on me — and I need to totally own it — not what someone else does, but my reaction to what they do.

So, boundaries help me stay true to who I really am. Without boundaries, I can hyperextend myself to the point where I become anxious, bitter, resentful, angry, annoyed, and distant. That’s not who I really am, so it’s my responsibility not to let another person’s actions and expectations wear me down to the worst version of myself. In a biblical sense, it’s me not allowing another person to make me betray who I am in Christ.

Okay, your turn to answer this crucial question: Who am I?

Pause here. Think about this.

And if you’re having a hard time answering, maybe it’s because you’ve lost her. Sometimes we’ve let other people’s opinions and needs define us for so long that we lose ourselves in the process. Or maybe circumstances have been so confusing, maybe even brutal, that we feel like life has reduced us to someone who others feel badly for. I’ve felt this exact way during the past several years of my life. I wanted to be a victorious woman of God, not a victim of a bunch of circumstances that caught me off guard and ripped the rug out from beneath me.

There is so much more to us than just being a sum total of what’s happened to us. Right?! So, how do we get back to that person we were before all the hard stuff?

Join the OBS I was on a group Zoom call recently with my friend Amanda after she had read an early version of what I’ve written here. She got choked up as she told me about a picture her mom found in her grandmother’s jewelry box after she passed away. The old black-and-white photograph was of a beautiful little chubby-cheeked baby with dark hair.

“That little face in my grandmother’s jewelry box was one I hadn't seen in more than twenty-five years since I last laid eyes on the picture. Twenty-five years. It’s me as a baby. The most pure version of me. This is me before life happened and wrote its own story on me. Before I got hurt and heartbroken and jaded and run over by what life had become.”

Her tears spilled down her cheeks as the rest of us tried to manage the lumps in our own throats. The baby in the picture was Amanda, but the truth of this moment applied to all of us.

Picture yourself as a tiny baby fresh from God’s hands. Innocent. Blissfully unaware of tragedy and trauma. Imagine yourself looking into her eyes. What would you say to her? Who do you want to tell her she is before life gets written on her? Speak that over her now.

Remember, you are closest to who you really are when you are the closest to who He created you to be.

Another memory you could recall is to remember yourself before you were really hurt. Before she said what she said. Or he did what he did. Or, before that event when everything changed, and you felt a bit damaged. Who were you?

Think of a memory, a memory from early on in your life, and try to remember who you were before you started looking to others for validation. Before you started becoming so hyperaware of your faults and frailties that you stopped seeing yourself as worthy, valuable, and designed by God on purpose. If nothing comes to mind from your early childhood, just speak to one of your baby pictures and tenderly tell her why she doesn’t need to live her life with an unhealthy pursuit of constantly seeking validation from people.

Now, write down the qualities that are true about the most authentic, wonderful version of you.

That’s your beauty. The goal is to humbly, and purposefully, walk in that beauty and own it. Serve from that fullness. Give from that wholeness. Walk confidently in the fact that our all-sufficient God did not make you insufficient or broken. Yes, we need to grow and develop and seek to become more and more like Jesus. But just like a seed contains everything in it necessary to bloom, so do we. All that a seed goes through to grow into a plant is part of the process of becoming what it was designed to be — not a process of determining its worth or value (1 Corinthians 15:38–44).

This exercise is more important than you know. If we don’t know who we are, we will constantly be manipulated into who others want us to be or become enmeshed in the needs of other people.

When we know who we are, we are whole and available to love, serve, and give to others from that fullness. If we don’t know who we are, then we will love, serve, and give, hoping people will fill our empty places and make us feel whole. And in doing so, we will always be defined by how well or how poorly someone else makes us feel.

My passion for all of this may have put a tad too much wind in my sail — or words in my chapter. Welcome to my overextended TED talk. Just kidding.

There’s an even more secure foundation to knowing who we are than just naming it for ourselves. We want to let God’s Word become the words of truth for our identity.

When God is the source of our identity, we are much less prone to others feeding our insecurity.

I’ll leave you with these words I first wrote in my journal and then put in my book Uninvited years ago: “God’s love isn’t based on me. It’s simply placed on me. And it’s the place from which I should live... loved.”1"'

Lysa TerKeurst, Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2016), 259.

Excerpted with permission from Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa TerKeurst, copyright Lysa TerKeurst.

[iwantmygun]

Today was my second to last experience shopping at the Walmart in the town where I finished highschool, and of course I saw people I know. It happens more often than not, and it’s usually someone or other I do not want to see. Today though I ran into an old friend from school whom I was very happy to see, and that was very nice. She was working and was excited to show me the snails that had tagged along in the pots of flowers.

BUT THEN later I saw this girl and her lil husband that. Just. Hated me. Seriously for no fucking reason my senior year. The weird part was that she was pretending to be my friend and then she said and thought and did all these horrible, hateful things when I wasn’t looking. (Aka sleeping with my boyfriend, calling in a false noise complaint, staking out my house idk why, egging my house and so on). So I darted down an aisle, as I do, and remained undetected. I just don’t want to be perceived. I don’t want them to even know I’m visiting this town. I could have, should have maybe, gone up to her and told her to fuck herself. But meh what’s the point?

What makes me even more salty is how and why these horrible miserable abusive mean people get to have a husband a house and live happily ever after, when meanwhile I’m still fucking struggling with reality in general. I know I’m just being bitter, but it unreasonably infuriates me that these people just get to move on with their lives after all the absolute devastation they caused. Like, is that how you get rewarded in this world? By being an asshole? Guess I need to start being even more of one.