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howlsofbloodhounds · 2 days ago

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regarding Dust's depiction in the fandom.

i’m not sure if i’m the right person to speak on this, especially since my diagnosis has changed multiple times. at first, i was told i had hallucinatory delusional disorder—only to later be told that diagnosis doesn’t even formally exist. another psychiatrist changed it to bipolar II, and eventually, all of that was scrapped. i’m still in the process of trying to find real answers.

My therapist just told me that I don't even have delusions, just very extreme intrusive thoughts and severe depersonalization.

what i do experience is intense dissociation, and what could be described as “hearing voices,” though it’s not exactly a sound. it’s something between a thought and an external voice. sometimes i can hear a direction, or distinct tones like different people speaking, but what they’re saying rarely makes sense. it’s like fragments of a conversation, but the context is missing.

for me, what’s pushed me into dangerous territory hasn’t necessarily been the voices themselves, but the nightmares that come with them—and how much i’ve overanalyzed what they seemed to be telling me. trauma plays a huge role in how that spirals. i won’t go into it here, but it’s a big part of the picture.

that’s why i’d really love to see a more layered depiction of Dust. i actually have my own fanfic where i try to explore these kinds of things, but looking back, i worry that in trying to vent through him, i might’ve accidentally written something that came off as ableist. it’s hard to toe that line when you’re writing from pain.

i think what i want—more than anything—from portrayals of Dust is for his symptoms to go beyond just “hallucinating Papyrus.” i want to see the paranoia, the delusions, the intrusive thoughts, the nightmares, the flashbacks. the dissociation. the disorganized thinking and speech. the whole picture of what it feels like when your mind isn’t a safe place anymore.

right now, i’m still going through a diagnostic process. i’m crossing my fingers that i don’t get hit with another heavily stigmatized label—and honestly, that whatever i have is something treatable. but more and more, i feel like it all traces back to trauma. i relate to Dust so deeply it almost scares me sometimes, he has so much potential.

You and I are on the same page about wanting to see more depictions beyond hallucinations, although I was of course thinking of wanting to see more of those depictions with Killer.

Unfortunately, it’s very common in this fandom for Killer’s own psychosis to be ignored, overlooked, or just not know about—which is one reason why the common depiction of Killer making fun of Dust’s hallucinations doesn’t make any sense, given Killer hallucinates too.

And he has various forms of hallucinations, from vivid and real, to shadowy figures that watch him or attempt to reach out and touch him. He has full on and back forth conversations with “Chara” despite them not being real, when asked where Chara is he points directly at his own head—“it’s all in your head” is a common phrase associated with Killer.

He has flashbacks, hears multiple voices in his head in different ways—voices from flashbacks, the internal voices he relies on to make any choices on his own—he dissociates heavily, he experiences black out amnesia with Stage 4 and loses control over his own body. He struggles to tell what is and isn’t real thanks to the constant Resets, he constantly feels like he’s being watched by Chara.

He views himself as just something with Sans’ face. He often is showing having back and forth conversations internally and externally as if he’s watching himself argue with himself, his internal conflict is so severe that he sometimes even verbalizes it—which often comes out in confused, contradictory statements, especially when asked anything about himself. When asked how he’s feeling, he answers like “I’m fi—I don’t know. …I’m okay.”

And that’s just one example of it, the entire first page of the Something New comics shows his fragmented thought processes pretty clearly. He shows a deep awareness that something about him has changed, that he’s not the same as he was, but he doesn’t why and he doesn’t seem to know how to stop it.

He seems to struggle a lot with distressing cognitive dissonance, such as killing because he wants to feel something but knowing it doesn’t actually make him feel anything—seemingly believing he only exists because someone else wanted him to. [“Killer Sans exists because of you.”] Feeling more like a role or script than an actual person living a life.

All of this comes from both trauma, and externally induced dissociation + coercion, manipulation. This is a man who doesn’t know who or what he is anymore.

Both Murder and Killer are characters where their mind has become a deeply unsafe place, but for different reasons. For Murder it’s trauma and mental illness, for Killer it’s because of intense prolonged external control and manipulation—and as a result, he is suffering from trauma and mental illness. Even Killer’s own body has become his enemy.

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iteratorsex · 2 days ago

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If I may ask, I'm really really curious about your thoughts regarding how iterator puppets work!! What kind of anatomy they might have, if older iterator puppets have different structures compared to newer ones..answer only if you feel like it though!!! No pressure at all

Regarthless, your hcs/ideas for them are really really unique and fun!! I really really enjoy them

Yeah sure I'll give you a rundown of iterator puppet anatomy

Here's a rather basic diagram of some puppet anatomy. This has remained unchanged for the most part with only minor variation, but the first generations of iterators did NOT have any digestive bits, since it was thought to be unnecessary

Primary/Secondary Ganglia

Like insects, iterators have multiple ganglia through their bodies, and one of the main ones is in the puppet. Though its small, it allows for things like eyesight to look at whatever is in the chamber

It also expands into the antenna, which are usually used for a variety of senses- from sensing chemicals to karmic field changes- the antenna are there for it. The antenna themselves are covered in a thin tissue of skin, like deer antlers

Spine

The spine is the only bone inside of a puppet and is what holds most of it up. The rest is just cartilage or chitin

Here's FP's spine for example! You can actually see the conduit arm connection at the top between the shoulders. In some models, however, it's instead at the middle back, or even tailbone. The differences are only aesthetic, and don't really change the function

The 2 plugs on the sides are both for waste outtake, and nutrient intake. The center is for neural connection

A flap of skin usually covers the otherwise very open connection between the puppet and conduit arm

Pearl Storage

This organ allows iterators to produce and store pearls through their puppets. Though they are formed with the lattice, typically they need to be properly formatted, organized, and partitioned before use

Some iterators like to store a lot of prepared pearls, others really don't

The pearls are... accessed through a usually invisible "mouth" (though I always draw it visible)

3-Chamber Heart

Just a heart, to help pump nutritional fluids through

Stomach/Intestines

I said before that early iterators didn't have these digestive organs, and that's because they're almost entirely for enrichment

Citizens would often want to give offerings or gifts to their iterators in exchange for fortune and favors. Though they usually had nothing to offer that iterators would benefit from, so puppets were designed to be able to consume food, just so they would have something to gift them

And, well, food is pretty good, why should they get to miss out? Though I don't think Moon is going to eat any of the stuff you picked up off the ground for her. Gross.

Other insides

Another thing, is that iterator puppets SEVERELY lack muscle. It's mostly fat, and cabinet-beast-esque neural tissue fills most the puppet, shown through this drawing of suns I did a while back. Puppets tend to just be loosely sown together with cabinet beast flesh stuffed inside

Skin

The skin of puppets is loose, stretchy, and very fabric-y! Some feel more like cold flesh, other have more of a warm velvet feel

#ask #iterator #rain world #rwr #spec bio #arterator #cw gore

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need-a-hand-peter-pan · 4 hours ago

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Killian chuckles. "Not working, hooked up to the carriage. They're animals, not machines. When speaking of animals it's best to keep in mind they're living beings. If they aren't working, we call that dead or sick depending on the severity."

He laughs do hard he's sure the girls can hear him, "no, enslavement isn't willing. Think of it more like a partnership, you're working eith eachother against the problems that arise. So, for example, say you two live like farmers the rest of your lives, you live in a small cottage in poor shape. The roof needs fixing up but you can't afford it at that second. Most couples argue about how to fix the problem but that's not healthy. You want to talk it out, find a solution you both can agree on, like selling an extra cow at market or fixing it yourselves until you can afford to have it done properly."

Marie grins. "I can do that, but what if he sticks around? I mean, he hasn't stopped pursuing you yet, and most guys don't have the attention span to keep going after the fifth no"

@need-a-hand-peter-pan

Marie snoops around the woods outside a small town in Maine. "I swear, Ruth, I know there's something up here... the vibes are off... like seriously off"

“Snooping when something feels off is how people get killed in horror movies Marie! And we both know I’ll die first because I’m disabled!” Ruth hisses as she follows her friend. Her cane tapping across the ground as she shadows Marie.

“We just need to keep our heads down long enough to fix our car I don’t see…” she stops talking. There’s a whirring sound.

“Do you hear that?”

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somewheremillo · 9 hours ago

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Ivantill and Till looking at Ivan

I keep thinking about the fact that Till WOULD look at Ivan, and he saw him for him but Ivan never saw it. They always missed each other’s gaze.

Black Sorrow:

In Black Sorrow, the audience witnessed Till's pained expression when choosing to turn back, but Ivan never even saw him look. All Ivan saw was Till running back to the garden. And the audience knows that the only thing Ivan truly wanted was for Till to look at him to see him, and the tragic thing is he did. Till's expression lets the viewer see that Till cares for Ivan and knows turning back will hurt him, but he does anyway. They never explain why he turned back, but it can be inferred he didn't want to leave Mizi behind, and I'm sure that's what Ivan thought it was as well.

Blink Gone:

Till saw Ivan for who he was; he saw him as Ivan and that was the person who haunted him. Till hallucinating Ivan in the Black Sorrow outfit, he was hallucinating Ivan when he was professing his love for Till (this being one of the only times Ivan shows his true emotions/self). He's also not smiling, showing how Till knew how few times he genuinely smiled in his life.

In the second image, Ivan is in his outfit from Cure, and he's pulling his chin up so he can look at Till in the eyes, and when they meet eyes, Ivan smiles (ofc this is luka manipulating Till by imitating Ivan but the audience sees this through Till, hence why they see Ivan). Ivan smiling when he locks eyes with Till is another example of Till seeing Ivan for who he was.

The last image shows Till utterly horrified with an identical expression on his face to Mizi's in Ruler of My Heart. All he sees is Ivan, forgetting where he is or what he's doing, thinking of round 6 probably realizing his feelings as well but in seconds Till sees Mizi and snaps out of it.

Karma:

In Karma their whole dynamic was flipped on its head even tho the scene is a few seconds long.

In this scene the viewer can see Till reaching for Ivan’s hand and his face lighting up immediately when he found it, as he felt reassurance bc he could feel that Ivan was there and he wasn't alone. This scene also gives us one of the few genuine smiles from Ivan. After Till finds Ivan's hand you can see his face shoot up to look at Ivan's. Ivan looks confused for a second but when he sees Till's smile, he looks equally as happy. Till looking up to look at Ivan again shows how Till does in fact look at Ivan this conveys Till's fondness for Ivan as both of their glances are reciprocated. This could also be a metaphor for them sharing mutual feelings but not having enough time as they are falling to (presumably) their deaths.

This scene also shows Till seeking comfort with physical touch. This is shown several times in the series (with Ivan being the one to provide it to Till in more subtle ways (I can elaborate on this in a later post)). But Till initiating something like holding hands with Ivan is something that surprised him. Ivan was always the one to try and get closer to Till no matter how old they were. Ivan would make a conscious effort to get physically closer to Till, and tho most of the time Till wouldn't be receptive to this Ivan knew that it was the thing that Till found most comforting.

This scene feels like “what if they didn’t constantly misunderstand each other.” Bc even tho this scene is extremely short, you can feel that they both have an understanding that they will be there for the other unlike in the main timeline. Many times in the main timeline Ivan would look for reassurance in Till but he would always be too late. Same thing with Till, he always thought that Ivan was weird and emotionally out of reach. Till thought he didn't understand Ivan. What he realized too late was that he did understand Ivan he was just missing a piece of information that made everything click (Ivan's feelings).

Thank you for reading!

#bro why am I writing an essay of these fucking freaks #my babies i love them #I was listening to heather by conan gray while writing this #ivantill #alien stage till #alien stage ivan #alien stage #alnst #black sorrow #blink gone #karma

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supersexyactioncomics · 1 day ago

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Becoming a billionaire is such a rancid dream like okay lets look at things practically in terms of what X amount of money actually means. (City and global north centric)

Net worth of household

10k - you rent. You can be unemployed for like a year before life gets really spicy.

100k - you still rent or have like a horrifically predatory mortgage. You still need to work for a living if you have kids or expect to make it another decade.

1 million - You own a home. You can raise a family. You still need to work but could take like a decade off if you really wanted to.

10 million - you own a home and a cottage, could coast for your whole life without working ever again and leave mutiple generations enough money to do the same. You could personally fund the creation of a cheap professional film or videogame. Anytime you need/want help you can hire it (personal assistant, gardener, nanny, etc).

Personally I think this is the richest anyone should aspire to be. This is famous but not notably wealthy hollywood actor level. Your fav guy who was in some mainstream movies (but you dont see headlines of him buying any islands). If you're working class you probably do not know anyone richer than this (I dont).

100 million - you have several houses/manors/yachts/a fucking castle. You have a permanent full time team of fixers who can manage every element of your image and estate. You wield a genuinely horrific power imbalance over every other person (not lower on this list) you meet because you have a full time institution behind your back in every interaction. Taylor swift and beyonce and any other omega famous people who arent billionaires are here.

1 billion - You buy properties on a whim. Have an army of people exclusively loyal to you. On the interest of investment alone you can throw around enough money to influence national politics. Jk rowling is a good example of someone hovering just around the billion mark.

10 billion - I can't even imagine what you do with that money. This is rupert murdoch tier. You can control or influence media and opinion globally ot utterly monopolize an industry.

100 billion - there are literally only eighteen people on earth woth this much money according to forbes. Money isnt even real at this point. You could lose 99% and still live in a castle and privately dictate the policy of britain.

Now remember that you could theoretically break apart one person on this lists estate to enable 10 people to live at the level above, 100 people two levels above, 1,000 people three levels above, 10k four levels, 100k five levels, a million six levels above.

The main thing I wanna illustrate is that by about 10 million you already have no precarity, can do anything you want, travel every month, get any help you need when you need it without fretting about finances, and your kids could live like this too for all of their life times. Every dollar past that point of extreme decadent luxury only enables you to have more power over others in increasingly malignant ways. And there not just people with more than 10 million there are people with orders of magnitude more than 10 million.

Practically speaking wanting to be a billionaire is wanting to have power over others. If it was just safety or pleasure seeking a billion dollars is completely unneccesary.

I love how statements like "The IDF is committing genocide in Gaza" and "Billionaires are bad for society" are just trivial statements of fact for most people under 40, but if you say them in the political arena, a bunch of people will gasp and accidentally shatter their monocles in their glasses of cognac.

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bouquetface · 2 days ago

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Hey , i want to ask if you've noticed a certain aspect / nakshatra in narcissistic men ?

I can’t specify as people having the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. But, I do have natal charts of many men who have been abusive to people in their lives - mentally (& some physically too).

But I really want to preface this with people do have free will. And this isn’t to bash anyone’s placements.

SHORT NOTES:

🔺 Damaged 3rd house.

🔺Poorly placed Mars - ex: Retrograde Mars, Mars conjunct malefics like Rahu.

🔺 When damaged, a planet in Cancer gives a person the ability to manipulate. Especially Ashlesha as it is literally associated with manipulation. This can be used for good like in business and/or negatively in personal relationships. REMEMBER key word is damaged - the placement should be a prominent planet + harshly aspected.

🔺 When damaged, a planet in Virgo or Leo gives a person a sense of importance & deep desire for control. They can hurt other people - especially when trying to get them under their control - but refuse to acknowledge the harm they caused. They may see themselves as knowing best. They may see themselves as the victim. REMEMBER key word is damaged - the placement should be a prominent planet + harshly aspected.

🔺 In my IRL observations, usually all 3 of the above occur in each person’s chart. And depending on the entire chart, the above can indicate a person encounters abuse and/or is prone to have abusive tendencies - possibly learned from their own traumatic experiences.

The below examples are real & will explain the above. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: The below describe emotional & physical violence.

LONG IN-DEPTH IRL EXAMPLES & EXPLANATIONS:

I don’t list every act of abuse the person has done because it’s honestly endless. But I provide some details to get the point across.

🔺Rahu in 3rd house with ruler of 3rd being debilitated (ex: Aries Rahu 3rd H - Mars in retrograde, Mars debilitated, Mars conjunct another malefic like Sun + harshly aspected).

REASONING: 3rd house is partly our mind, how we think. When the 3rd house is damaged, a person may need to consciously work on seeing the world in a more healthy perspective.

IRL EXAMPLE of a damaged 3rd H:

Rahu Aries 3rd H - ruler Mars in retrograde + harshly aspected by Sun.

He abused an ex wife. He had to take court-mandated counselling for his issues. He admitted his initial reaction when things seem out of his control is to seek revenge/punish. His mindset gravitates toward a darker way of thinking and seeing the world.

But keep in mind, this is not the only possible outcome of a damaged 3rd house. A person w a damaged 3rd house could experience negative thinking that harms themselves - like suicidal thoughts. The man in the above example had almost taken his own life at one point.

🔺 Virgo Venus conjunct Sun + harshly aspected by Moon conjunct Rahu

She did have a difficult upbringing. Her father died when she was in her 20s. She had an abusive marriage. However, she made up for that loss of control by abusing people in her life. It was always women she’d take it out on.

She applied a lot of pressure and nitpicked at her daughter. Her daughter developed an eating disorder which this woman constantly ignores. Once at a birthday party, she even went as far to tell her extremely underweight daughter she’s got chubby cheeks. She plays it off like she’s making a harmless comment that’s “true” but we all know it’s damaging to her daughter to hear.

She takes her abuse out on her brother’s wife too. She hates her and blames her for the brother’s problems. Her brother was an alcholoc before meeting his wife but she will blame the wife for it. She has on several occasions nitpicked and bullied her until she cried. She’ll say the food was bad, laugh when anyone says something to nice about the brother's wife She’ll say you look fat in that outfit and play it off like “well i didn’t say you were fat, i said the outfit made you look fat.”

She likes to manipulate stories to make it seem she has a moral reason for treating people poorly. She likes to compare herself to mother teresa because she’s a “healer” too. She also often has pointed out her & mother Teresa share the same sun sign so its a "fact" that they are the same - this is not how astrology works.

🔺 Mars conjunct Rahu - especially when the sign ruler is debilitated or harshly placed + aspected.

REASONING: Rahu amplifies what it touches. Rahu conjunct Mars can indicate a person’s anger, willpower & drive is out of control. This can be used for good and bad.

IRL EXAMPLE of Mars conjunct Rahu:

Libra Mars conjunct Rahu - ruler Venus debilitated in Virgo conjunct Sun (a malefic).

This man doesn’t appear as what people typically expect of an abusive man. This may be the Venus charm & Rahu fog/illusions. He is soft spoken, appears kinda shy/reserved. People I know IRL have said he is kind and helpful. They didn’t initially believe his girlfriend. And despite evidence, he remains well-liked by most that know him. Unfortunately, narcissists can be extremely charming.

The positive to this placement is this man became financially successful at a young age. He was determined and always prioritized his self. Later, this began to appear as extreme selfishness & anger. He & his girlfriend have a kid. During the pregnancy, he was cheating. She tried to leave him but he can be charming and make a lot of grand gestures + promises to “prove” his love & “prove” he will change.

He kept cheating & there were many other issues - he frequently lost his temper when he didn’t get his exact way, she initially dismissed this as him being a perfectionist. Ultimately, she left him. But his selfishness continues, when he realized she wasn’t going to get back together with him, he basically ditched her and the kid. He’s a huge deadbeat! But in denial about it. Right now, it’s been 4 years since the breakup, and he only sees his kid on birthdays & sometimes major holidays.

IRL EXAMPLE 2 of Mars conjunct Rahu

Mars conjunct Rahu in Taurus - ruler Venus in Leo

Once again, this person was considered charming by many people. He found success early on in life too. He is now dead but still many remember his fondly.

However, his family remember him very differently. He used religion as a way to force them into submission. If you did something he didn’t like he’d claim it was ungodly. He’s berate his wife and kids until they listened to him. He did cheat on his wife and constantly blame her for “pushing” him into doing it.

He wasn’t physically violent however he did do things like making her get out the car and walk home. He used his lack of physical violence as an excuse, he truly thought he was a great father and husband because he didn’t slap anyone. His youngest kid now an adult did sometimes gives him the benefit of doubt on that by saying he was born in the 1920s. So that may be why he thought like that. But the other grandchildren also now adults have hella stories from their parents about how terrible he was to everyone. Yet, everyone else he met thought extremely well of him. He was generous and kind to everyone but his own family.

#astrology #astrology observations #vedic astro observations

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dhruvkumaar · 3 days ago

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Heroes and Villains

We all know what we mean when we use the terms heroes and villains. But, as William James said about consciousness, we only know how to define it as long as nobody asks us to define it.

Yeah, the two terms are really vague, if you think about it. Who do you call the hero of a story? Somebody who saves the day? Then Superman would be the only closest character we’d have to fit the definition, if we take that as our criteria. But, not all heroes are Superman, right?

What makes it even more confusing is the fact that terms hero and protagonist are not synonymous with each other. And nor are the terms villain and antagonist. That means a story might have the hero as their antagonist.

So, what the hell do I mean?

I believe that many newbie writers often mistake these terms—and this can have an adverse effect on their stories. So let me rant here for a moment.

***

#01. A Shift in Perspective

Just as the sub-heading says, I need you to have a shift in your perspective. Think about it: what is the foundation of a story?

Characters? Plotline? Setting? It’s none of that, man. None of that.

It’s theme.

Theme is the foundation to all stories. Film, prose, poem, music—whatever medium you choose, it remains the same. Stories are built upon a specific theme.

Yeah, you may settle on the setting first—what’s the world like, what’s the overall vibe of the story. Or the plotline—what happens and why. But, before you can mark your project as complete, you need to understand what the theme of the story is. Once you decide on a theme, you know how to tread forward—how each scene moves the story forward, why each scene is present and turns out the way that it is.

You can’t unravel your story in an organized manner if you don’t know the central theme of your story. And if you’re not organized, don’t expect your readers to be sticking around.

Alright, the last sentence was kinda harsh. But I wasn’t lying at all.

I can’t stress enough how important the theme is for your story. And, how do you think a theme looks like in a story?

It’s in the form of an argument.

Storytelling, in short, is nothing but an argument. You’re trying to make a point. In most stories, it’s not too on-the-nose, unfortunately, so we never really think about it enough.

And, an argument has two sides. Now you, as the author, have to decide which side you choose. What do you tell the readers is the correct side among the two?

Let’s take an example to bring this point home. The story that I can think of off the top of my head is of a high-school guy who’s really depressed because his family shifted to a new city, and he can’t take that change. He’s having trouble making new friends, some strong dude bullies him constantly—it’s not severe, by the way—and the girl he likes… Well, he’s the bully character’s girlfriend. So… it’s kinda messed up for him.

The theme is that of change, obviously. And here are the two sides: changes are fine, and that they suck. As simple as that.

The hero? Obviously, the main-character. The villain? Now, there’s loads of them: the situation with the girl—not the girl herself, mind you—and the bully character, but also the overall setting of the school where he just can’t open up. Remember, a villain is an object of storytelling, so it doesn't need to be another character per se. A villain can be an event or a place too.

So, as you can see, I have an argument in my theme. And, based on that, my story has heroes and villains, with villains being other situations, events, or characters that my hero needs to overcome.

The argument that my hero represents is that changes are fine, they’re a part of life. And even though they’re tough, you’ll be fine. That’s the argument that my hero reflects.

In an argument, you as the author has to take a side. And the side that you deem to be correct, you reflect that in your hero. And the incorrect side, obviously, manifests in the form of villains.

***

#02. Protagonists, Antagonists

Now then, let’s clear this confusion too.

A protagonist is the character through whose perspective the story is told. And, an antagonist is the character who stands in opposition to the arguments that the protagonist makes.

The thing is: since most authors choose to tell their stories through the lens of their heroes, we often believe that protagonists and heroes are the same thing. Which is a lie—it’s just that most authors choose heroes as their stories’ protagonists.

There are a lot of stories that decided to choose their villains as their protagonists. A lot of crime-thrillers are like that—their theme is generally to study and show how villains become the way they are. Todd Phillips’ Joker is a good point-in-case. And so is the anime Death Note.

Both the stories mentioned follow the villain of their stories—the character who often fails in the end—as their protagonist. Now, since Joker isn’t really a complete story, the villain doesn’t really lose at the end.

Joker is an experimental film that has pulled it off quite nicely. The arguments are handled really, really creatively, and that’s why we know today—for certain—that even though, in the end, the villain doesn’t lose, they’re a villain. Otherwise, in most times, if you’re going for something experimental like that, you’re likely to confuse your audience about which side of the argument you, the author, are on.

***

Conclusion

I hope that helped clear some confusion. You certainly don't need to think about the theme and arguments that your story makes, especially early in the project. So don’t worry if you’re still in your first draft and haven’t got it figured out.

Also consider reading Different Inspirations Lead to Different Types of Stories if you’re into such rants and tips. Don’t forget to subscribe to my Substack and Tumblr. And I’m gonna see you in the next one. Sayonara!

#writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writeblr #writing #writing advice #writing stuff #writing help #heroes and villains #novel writing #on writing #writing tips #how to write a novel #how to write

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theravenflies · 3 days ago

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I have figured out why Lord Milori can't/doesn't fly.

(I'm sorry if this is worded weird, I'm having trouble putting thoughts into words right now. Maybe I'll reblog sometime in the future with a better essay.)

So for those of you who don't know, Lord Milori is a character from Tinkerbell, he's the lord of the Winter Woods. This is him (he's the tall one, the shorter one is Dewey)

Milori is an amputee. He's missing around half of the top portion of his right wing. This is because he is a cold-weather fairy, and his wings are suited for the eternal cold of the Winter Woods so they get damaged by heat. Long story short, he went into the warmer seasons and the heat broke his wing. Because of this, Milori doesn't fly himself, instead either walking or using an owl to fly.

But why?

Pixie dust makes things fly, right? We see beings without wings fly- the Darlings, for example, and James Hook in a movie Milori makes a brief appearance in. We even see inanimate objects fly with just a bit of pixie dust. So why is Milori unable to fly?

Let's get into this.

To my knowledge, the interaction between fairy wings and pixie dust is as follows in the movies

Fairies cannot fly without pixie dust, even if they have two fully-intact wings. We see this several times, their wings just aren't powerful enough to let them do more than hop. The pixie dust is what gives them the ability to fly, they can't do it themselves.

Wings are also not required for flight. We see humans, who have no wings, fly with the help of pixie dust, and we even see inanimate objects fly if pixie dust is applied. However, when applied to things without wings, their manoeuvrability is significantly lacking compared to the fairies. They're way clumsier and can't manage the same hairpin turns fairies manage. More on this in a second

Fairies never apply the pixie dust to their bodies, unlike humans do. They always apply it to their wings and only their wings. Why?

Pixie dust is incredibly powerful. It only takes a couple handfuls from a fairy to let a human fly, and humans are billions of times heavier than fairies. If a fairy dumped a handful of dust on themselves, it would probably send them into the stratosphere. My theory? The wings allow fairies to use pixie dust in moderation so that they don't send themselves into orbit.

Beings without wings struggle to land when under the influence of pixie dust. Fairies do not. Humans also have no control over their takeoff once the dust is applied, while fairies do.

I think that the function of the fairy's wings is control and safety. Control in that they can control how high they go, how fast they go, and how they manoeuvre. Without their wings they wouldn't have that control. Which is where safety comes in, because having no control but using such a powerful flight agent would be extremely unsafe for them. There would be almost no margin for error without the wings, and considering how it would probably only take five specks applied to their bodies for them to fly, that would essentially mean there'd be no safe way for them to use pixie dust.

So next, let's talk about Milori's wings. Here's a picture

Number one, the difference in aerodynamics between his wings would be impossible to work around. He tries to fly with those wings and he is spinning and he is crashing, there is no amount of training that could avoid that. He would not be able to use his wings at all in flight.

But would he be able to fly with pixie dust?

Probably not.

He'd have to apply it to his body, not his wings, and again, extremely tiny margin for error there. He would also have to deal with a likely extreme difference in weight- yes, the wings are very thin, but he's what, four inches tall? At that size, even a nanogram of difference between his right side and his left is going to throw off his balance hard. To him, one side of his body is significantly heavier than the other. This would be a massive problem. Sure, maybe he could add some kind of weight to his right wing to even out the balance, but even then there are problems that would prevent him from flying. Pretend for a second that there's no problem with the pixie dust, that somehow the weight difference is an issue. Even with those factors removed, there's still the learning curve.

Flying isn't as easy as birds make it look, just ask a basejumper. Self-propelled flying requires hundreds of microadjustments for every single movement. One false note could mean death. And Milori would need to learn how to do that, how to shift his weight enough that he can turn but not so severely that he crashes, how to change altitude without wings to help guide him, how to avoid accidental things like tensing in just the wrong way because that could be catastrophic- he would essentially be relearning how to use his body completely manually. His reflexes aren't going to help him anymore. He would need to learn how to move in an extremely specific and deliberate way and that's an absolutely massive task. Maybe even impossible. He is not a bird, he is a fairy. But he would need to learn how to stop using his body like a fairy and to start using it like a bird. Not even a bird, because at least they have wings to aid in manoeuvrability. That is a task so big it boggles the mind, and that's without the factors that would make him learning to do that even harder, like the weight difference. And even if he somehow masters that, it's still never going to be safe because if he makes one mistake it could kill him. Sure, maybe he could do it. But why?

Because there's either that option or there's the owl option. With the owl option, the most complicated part of relearning how to use his body is removed- he no longer has to figure out something as delicate and complicated as flying, he just needs to get used to walking, running, and climbing. It's a difficult process, sure, but nowhere near as difficult as learning to fly without using his wings and it would be significantly safer. Which is why I think he doesn't fly. Because he looked at those two options and chose the owl because the owl was the more viable option by far. Maybe he tried the other one, maybe he didn't, but either way he chose the easier option, the one that was less dangerous to him and more likely to work. The owl.

(To draw a probably far-fetched comparison, imagine having most of one leg amputated, not having a prosthetic, and trying to learn how to get around by standing on a skateboard and shifting your weight to propel yourself. That's kind of like what him learning to fly using only pixie dust would be like. Possible, maybe, but incredibly hard to do and likely is not going to work. But the owl? The owl option is like having the same disability but learning how to get around using a wheelchair. Easier learning curve, less chance of something going horrifically wrong, and a higher chance of actually working.)

The owl was a more realistic path forward, so he took the owl. It was easier, it was safer, it was more likely to work, and it let him get back to managing the entire Winter Woods faster. That's why he doesn't fly even if it's technically an option.

#squawking #lord milori #amputee representation #tinkerbell #tinkerbell secret of the wings #tinkerbell and the pirate fairy #i've figured it out y'all

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razzleberryjam · 1 day ago

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Just because the books contain characters that are discriminatory, doesn't mean the book endorses those ideals though. Like, yes you can argue that characters like Tigerclaw and Longtail are "xenophobic" towards firepaw/rusty for his kitypet origins, but ultimately the book series enforces the ideal that they are wrong to hold those beliefs and that there is no inherent differences between the cats. Because even though Firestar faces discrimination because of his background, his story ultimately proves that it doesn't matter where you come from, it's about who you are and not where you are from.

The same thing with racism/etc. You can argue that characters in the series are "racist" because of the beliefs they hold about blood/inherent physical traits based on birth - but they're all ultimately proven wrong by the narrative of the stories. There's several times characters mention how "only windclan is fast enough to hunt rabbits" or "only riverclan can learn to swim and catch fish" but the narrative proves this to be untrue, enforcing that those are social constructs the characters believe because of their limited worldviews.

That's my point, the presence of discrimination in a story doesn't mean that the authors or narrative are enforcing it as positive, and if you actually analyze the story, the narrative often condemns those behaviors as negative and just blatantly untrue beliefs.

I also truly don't find there to be any sexist/mysoginist mistreatment of characters. I often see the series accused of "fridging" female characters to further the plot/a male characters development, however - it's warrior cats. So many characters die throughout the entire series in such brutal ways, and there are equally as many male characters that are killed without much character development to further the plot (and even to further a female characters development!!) So I really think the people who are saying the Series** itself is racist/xenophobic/mysoginistic are not only not paying attention to the narrative and just taking characters actions at face value, but also they're cherry picking examples while ignoring the rest of the series.

Oversimplification of the source material is the strongest weapon people can use to diminish legitimate arguments against a story that aim to actually criticize genuine problems with the writing

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wolfertinger · 13 hours ago

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As an Asian/native mixed intersex transfem, wis and Salem pmo so much oh my god. Just

Yes. I think people have been transmisogynistic to wis. Yes, I think some testimonies and the way things have been phrased by this side of the party have been hurtful and unproductive. I also think some people on this blog are fixating on the wrong things, including glossing over Salem interacting with ppl who fetishize rape, incest, and simulated CSAM on bsky. However

That doesn’t remove the fact that wis is defending Salem’s groomer—she didn’t just groom Sawyer, but ALSO her (Wis’) boyfriend? Or Sawyer’s rapist? Or someone pretending to be a trans woman… profiting off of them and transmisogyny for her (Majora’s?) own benefit)

I don’t know. Wis makes me embarrassed to be as I am and to talk about the transmisogyny I’ve faced. People like her make it easier for other transfems and trans girls and trans women to talk about their experiences with actual transmisogyny. With actual terfs. When I was younger, I had terfs calling me a delusional, unhygienic male. One of my own friends became a terf and harassed me. They called me a rapist and a pedophile, not because anyone made claims against me. But because of the fact I dared to exist as a transfem on tumblr.

Meanwhile.. Wis is called a rape apologist because she is one. Mari raped sawyer. There is proof of it. Wis is called a defender of a groomer because she is.. she’s called racist because she is—she misused aave especially when angry, she makes micro aggressions targeting people simply because she doesn’t like them.. she whitewashes the people she hates simply because she can.

Her talking on Sawyer being whitepassing and mixed, for example. Does she know how much of a struggle it is to exist as a whitepassing person within your culture? You get excluded. Sometimes you get shunned. You get denied your own heritage and family because of the fact you were not 100% your race… because of, guess what, racial purity.

And, in my personal case, blood quantum. I will never be able to apply to my nation because several women, on the side in which I’m native, were raped by white men. And they cared children from their rapists. People like wis who remove mixed people from their heritage because of being white would likely try to call ME white. When it is not my fault

Race is not just about the color of your skin. Neither is ethnicity. It is about community. And.. well, sawyer is obviously connected to theirs to some extent.

I could go on more but I upset myself a little thinking about wis’ racism in particular. I might add another anon later. Take care

-🦇

"🦇 anon, I meant to say Wis DOESNT make it easier for us transfems to talk about transmisogyny. Sorry I was upset"

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marivanilla05 · 5 months ago

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My favorite scenes from The Odyssey (books 18 to 21)

Odysseus fighting a random beggar being its own book was not something I expected to enjoy this much when reading The Odyssey, but here we are.

#the odyssey #odysseus #penelope #odypen #telemachus #athena #eurymachus #antinous #irus #aka the beggar #eurycleia #anyway I've read the odyssey three times now (Emily Wilson's translation twice) it's become a hyperfixation #there are so many scenes I like that I'd probably have to draw the entire story #like I have several in book 1 alone #examples being the olympain gods waiting for poseidon to go to some party in ethiopia just so they can make a decision without him #telemachus telling his mom not to stop their bard (aka personal dj) from singing a song about his father's death #keep in mind he says that the bard is free to sing about whatever he wants while in a previously it was mentioned that the bard was forced #in book two (in think) Telemachus calls the nobles for a meeting and then throws the “speaking staff” to the floor #and proceeds to trauma dump #back to book one: Athena making some long excuse of how she is totally a human man and immediately transforms into a bird #in front of Telemachus' face #all of this and its not even halfway through the Telemachy

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firestorm09890 · 1 year ago

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Penny stardewvalley makes me so sad because she's SO sensitive to, like, basically everything you tell her (telling her that you can't stand children while two children are nearby is a pretty lousy move but -1500 friendship?? being a jerk to other characters' faces typically loses you about 50 points, and if you choose the option labeled "creepy" and ask Leah for a kiss in her 2 heart event she physically hits you and kicks you out of her house but that's only -100 friendship…) and so if you want to befriend her it's a whole lot of lying and tiptoeing around her feelings (2 hearts: George was right but saying that makes her feel bad. 6 hearts: her food sucks but even if you try to be polite about it she feels like a failure; only a bald-faced lie pleases her. 8 hearts: saying you don't want to be tied down with a family loses you a little bit of friendship and she's only happy if you say you want kids) and I can't help but think she's a product of her environment. She lives in a trailer with only her mother, who gets drunk every night and has something of a temper. Penny's like a skittish rescue animal who won’t even come out from hiding under something unless you leave her lots of treats

#stardew valley #penny sdv #I didn't mention the SECOND opportunity to lose 1500 friendship with her #because I think if you go out of your way to date her and then tell her that you don't like her that way then you deserve it #but yeah she's super volatile #i was upset for a little bit after reading that one post saying the ‘right’ answer in the 2 heart event is ableist #like nooooo not my favorite farming game :(#except that in the context of several other things in the game it becomes clear that winning someone over #does not always mean doing the right thing #looking directly at how the easiest way to befriend shane and pam is by enabling their alcoholism #which is framed as a harmful thing even if the characters themselves like it #you have to lie to befriend other characters too like with sam dropping his egg #and you can lose a little friendship based on preferences like sebastian asking about what books you like #though to be fair if i saw someone who could potentially be cool and i found out that what they like was stuff im not into id also #lose interest a little #anyway those are all examples spread around on different characters #penny's got it all at once #me post

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fitzmandible · 3 days ago

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Trafalgar and Nelson were such a point of national pride that the royal navy still to this day has two celebrations about Trafalgar: Trafalgar night and Pickle night. Everything under the cut because this post is long already.

Trafalgar night is celebrated on 21st October (or as close as practical) by commissioned officers of the Navy and it's a formal occasion. Nelson's flag signal of "every man must do his duty" is generally displayed

It's even celebrated on Nelson's flagship, HMS Victory, which survives to this day. There, apparently you're not seated according to rank and while everyone is a commissioned officer, as a lieutenant you'd be treated equally to an admiral. On HMS Victory, on the quarter deck(?) there's a plaque commemorating where Nelson was shot.

Pickle night is for rates (non-commissioned officers, otherwise known as ranks) and is celebrated on or around 6th November. It's named for HMS Pickle, which was the fastest ship in Nelson's fleet. It arrived in England on that day in 1805 carrying news of Nelson's victory and death. It's a far more informal occasion (generally) and it's a far more recent thing, only as far as I can tell dating back about 50 years, although I could be wrong there.

But the British public was absolutely obsessed with Nelson. He was a celebrity. You know when you go to your grandma's house and she has a plate with princess di's face on it? They had those with him (example is will and kate but yk you get the point)

Such was the country's obsession with Nelson that he even got a crazy state funeral with his actual body there. Traditionally, bodies were buried at sea. You stick a couple of cannonballs in their hammock, sew it up, the last stitch goes through their nose, and over the side they go, with slightly more pomp and circumstance than that. But Nelson? After he died with half his crew surrounding him and having asked his second in command, Hardy, to kiss him, he was pickled. (This is what I originally thought pickle night was named after btw) It took the fleet several weeks to return to England, especially as they had to go to Gibraltar for repairs, and his body would have properly decomposed by then. So instead, his body was placed in a cask of spirits, probably brandy, and brought back to England that way.

I'm trying to think of an example from more recent history that describes what Franklin must have felt like but I can't think of a great and good celebrity type public figure dying in battle, particularly where their side still wins (there probably are though).

Anyway, at least the two years I did navy cadets for has been useful for something other than my personal statement.

Terror Rewatch - episode 1, go for broke. This time what really caught my eye is this scene:

James Fitzjames is telling his chinese sniper story (again) and Edward Little pipes up with "like the shot that killed Nelson at Trafalgar".

We get Edward's face and Fitzjames's face but I would really like Franklin's face in this moment. I suspect Little doesn't know this (too young) or he knows vaguely about it but it hasn't sunk in: Cpt Sir John Franklin was *at* Trafalgar! He was on HMS Bellerophon and as a signals midshipman (he was 19 years old at the time) was who reported & relayed the famous "England expects every man to do his duty" signal. Bellerophon lost their Captain John Cooke to sniper fire that day, along with 27 others dead and 123 wounded, including Franklin's fellow middie, John Simmonds. It's not clear to me if Franklin watched his captain die (like Nelson, it wasn't instant) but it's almost certain he watched a lot of his close colleagues suffer and die that day.

Look, I don't like the fella, but I really wonder how painful a memory Trafalgar is for Cpt Franklin (I have heard sources suggest he joined the Discovery Service because he wanted to stay in the Navy but didn't want to fight/was a pacifist), and Ned Little just brings it up like it's nothing! For everyone else in this wardroom, Trafalgar is a glorious war-story for the Empire. For Franklin, it's the day he, as a dang 19 year old, watched *a lot* of people die, and it does seem to have affected his future life & choices (unfortunately, eschewing imperialism & all it stood for was not one he made). I'd've loved to see what Ciaran Hinds would bring to Franklin's face when Lieut Little makes that comment.

#the terror #horatio nelson #history #yapping

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jynxedshapeshifter · 5 months ago

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Why Kristoph Gavin Is Like That: An Essay

Alright so common sentiments I've seen regarding Kristoph are "Why is he like that" and "I want to study him in a lab" and I am a psychology nerd, so I decided to analyze Kristoph. Obligatory disclaimer: I am not a psychologist. Wanting to analyze Kristoph's behavior may or may not have gotten me interested in criminal and forensic psychology but I am not a psychologist. I am simply a guy who likes to psychoanalyze fictional characters from the most clinical perspective I can get to without actually being a psychologist. So let's begin.

Part 1: Diagnosing Kristoph Gavin

The thing about Kristoph is I think to fundamentally understand him, you need to diagnose him. In fact, I haven't posted my analysis of Kristoph's black Psyche-Locks because of it. As I said, I'm not a psychologist, but I do enjoy looking through the DSM-5 every once in a while, so I'm going off of that.

When you first look at Kristoph's behavior, you would (understandably) say he's a narcissist. From a purely colloquial perspective, this is absolutely true. However, I also think he very likely has narcissistic personality disorder. To be completely clear, I don't think his behavior is inherently a result of this. I think his behavior is a result of realizing he has a problem (even if he doesn't realize it's narcissism, he does acknowledge that he's fucked up because the reason he gives for killing Zak is "I am an evil human being") and not bothering to get help for it. In fact I'd argue he embraces it. So let's go through the DSM-5's diagnostic criteria for NPD (I don't need to explain where most of these are applicable but I'm going to anyway).

Criterion 1: Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) - While I don't personally think the examples provided by the DSM-5 are reflective of Kristoph's behavior (although I think an argument could be made about him exaggerating his achievements, depending on if you think he was forging evidence before the Gramarye trial, which I personally do but I'll get into that later) I absolutely think he has a grandiose sense of self-importance because he canonically has a god complex, which is implied to be why he became a defense attorney; by doing that, he made people depend on him and literally had people's lives in his hands.

Criterion 2: Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love - I don't really know exactly how applicable this is, and it might've been more applicable when he was younger. However, he was so determined to get a win over Klavier in Klavier's first trial to forge evidence over it, so there's something to be said about him having a preoccupation with success not unlike Manfred I think.

Criterion 3: Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions) - He literally says this himself. He literally says the jury is made up of "ignorant swine" and says they're soiling the courts, I don't know what else to say on this point

Criterion 4: Requires excessive admiration - I will once again point you to the implication that he became a defense attorney specifically to make people dependent on him. The judge calls him the best defense attorney in town so I think it's safe to assume he's never lost a trial (which I will bring up again later). The nanosecond it's implied Apollo is turning on him and losing admiration for him, Kristoph takes it as a fucking betrayal, specifically saying "Et tu, Justice? You would betray me, your teacher?" Reminder, this is because Apollo decided to listen to Phoenix's testimony.

Criterion 5: Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations) - Can I say his cell is evidence of this? No? Alright. He seems pretty fucking upset when he's reminded he's not the defense attorney in Phoenix's case. What does this imply? He acts like he's entitled to acting as the defense attorney during the case. This in comparison to the other defense attorneys who have acted as co-counsel at some point (Mia, Diego, Phoenix, Apollo, Kazuma, Athena) who let the acting defense attorney do their damn job. Like it might even be that no other lawyer acting as co-counsel has ever acted as entitled as Kristoph does that makes it feel like Kristoph comes off as entitled in the first place (in which case, I very much think Kristoph is meant to come off as entitled during Turnabout Trump).

Criterion 6: Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends) - I'm not explaining this. Phoenix's disbarment hinged on this, I refuse to explain this. I already made a post about it in regards to Apollo, I'm not explaining this here

Criterion 7: Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others - I think in order to be as horrible as he is, he would have to lack empathy. Idk. Like he obviously lacks empathy but I don't know how to explain it.

Criterion 8: Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her - Literally his motive for everything. He got Phoenix disbarred because he was upset over Zak firing him.

Criterion 9: Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes - I will once again direct you to him calling the jury "ignorant swine" in Turnabout Succession.

That is 8 out of 9 criteria he definitely meets and one that's debatable. You only need to meet five of the critera to be diagnosed. The only reason one is debatable is because we don't get into Kris's head. Conclusion: "Kristoph has NPD" isn't an unreasonable assumption. Kristoph having NPD is actually why I haven't posted the analysis on his Psyche-Locks; I didn't think I could explain Kristoph having NPD well in that post and having that explanation is crucial to understanding that analysis (which will be added to this one instead of it being its own post).

As I said at the start, I do not think Kristoph having NPD makes him a horrible person. I think he knows he has a problem, and instead of getting help for it, he embraces it. He chooses not to get help and that choice and him borderline embracing his narcissistic traits is what makes him a horrible person. This is yet another thing that makes Kristoph and Klavier so interesting; Klavier exhibited similar narcissistic tendencies at 17 (although not near as bad as Kristoph) but it feels like he recognized that he had a problem and got help for it. Narcissistic personality disorder can be caused by trauma, and it wouldn't surprise me if Kristoph and Klavier had very similar yet very different responses to whatever traumatic event they experienced. In Kris's case, this resulted in NPD that he didn't get help for and arguably embraces.

Part 2: Evidence Forgery & A Perfect Trial Record

The judge explicitly refers to Kristoph as "the best defense attorney in town" when he asks about Apollo's status as the acting attorney and Apollo refers to Kristoph as a "top-notch defense attorney" when he asks Phoenix why he wanted Apollo to be his attorney. In my opinion, both of these statements would imply that Kristoph has never lost a trial. Even Phoenix has lost trials, and he basically had Kristoph's reputation before being disbarred (which has some super interesting implications actually). This is where Klavier comes into play.

For Kristoph to forge evidence to guarantee a win, he's either not as good a defense attorney as his reputation would have people believe, or he was confident Klavier had a chance to win the trial. If we really think about it, I think the first option, that Kristoph just isn't as good a defense attorney as people think, is more likely, and this also leads into the evidence forgery discussion. He had no qualms about spending $100k on forged evidence. This implies one of two things; either he's forged evidence before or he's von Karma levels of rich. I think it's much more likely that Kristoph forges evidence to make up for the fact that he's not actually as good a defense attorney as people think he is.

He's a year younger than Phoenix, so if we assume he became a defense attorney at the same age as Phoenix (24), he'd already been a defense attorney for two years at that point. Going a bit further, if we assume he became a defense attorney at the same age as Apollo (22) instead, then he'd been an attorney for four years by the time Zak's trial was happening (and he had been an attorney long enough by Zak's trial to be well known, as Klavier says "Ah, figures my bro's more famous in this part of town" when the judge asks if Klavier and Kristoph are related). There's plenty of room for him to forge evidence there, as long as the decisive evidence doesn't require replication of something that would be unique, like handwriting. He could (probably) easily forge a murder weapon or a bloodstain. This would explain why he's so willing to pay $100k for a forgery too. If we keep with the assumption that he forged evidence his entire career but never had to do anything with something like handwriting, he'd probably pay an arm and a leg to get the evidence he needs.

Considering Kristoph is also willing to murder people over a seven year old case, I wouldn't be surprised if he defended people he knew were guilty. Depending on the case, he would probably have to forge evidence at some point.

Part 3: Black Psyche-Locks

Kristoph having black Psyche-Locks when he's asked about why he killed Zak is interesting. It makes a lot more sense if you keep in mind that he is a narcissist. To fully explore Kris's Psyche-Locks, we need to go back to something Spark Brushel mentions in Turnabout Succession's MASON system section.

Spark says that Kristoph started stalking everyone who could conceivably be involved in Zak's case out of paranoia. In Kristoph's brain, this was probably completely justified. His paranoia was specifically rooted in the belief that Zak would appear to someone involved in the case and expose Kristoph's forgery. Kristoph stalked Spark, he stalked Phoenix, he stalked the Mishams, I wouldn't be surprised if he (attempted to) stalk Klavier. If the fact that he forged the evidence that got Phoenix Wright disbarred ever got out, his reputation would be tarnished beyond repair, and to him, his reputation is the most important thing he has. He was so careful about how he handled the forged diary page that nobody suspected anything was even wrong with it except Klavier. All of this adds context to his Psyche-Locks being black instead of red.

I think it's incredibly likely that whether through paranoia-fueled delusion or just not being able to consciously acknowledge that he did kill Zak (which, if revealed and then investigated, could absolutely expose all of Kristoph's wrongdoings, something I think he would've realized), he genuinely didn't realize he killed Zak. I 100% think it's possible that Kristoph genuinely thought he'd killed some random guy on impulse. "But Jinx," I hear you saying, "why would he have gone after Zak if he didn't realize who he is?" As I said, I think it's possible that Kris thought he killed a random guy on impulse. He didn't plan to kill Zak. If he had, he would've been more prepared for it. I think some part of his brain recognized Zak which is what gave him the impulse in the first place, but he didn't become consciously aware of it until Turnabout Succession. Alternatively, he got so far in denial that he managed to delude himself into genuinely thinking he hadn't killed Zak, and he had just killed some rando named Shadi Smith. Phoenix didn't even recognize Zak when he introduced himself as Shadi. If Phoenix, who played poker with and defended Zak and has a picture of him in his office, didn't recognize Zak immediately, why would Kristoph?

It's also not impossible that there are multiple other murders Kristoph's committed that we don't know about. Hell, he tried to poison the Mishams after Zak's trial. At the very least I don't think that was his first time attempting murder. Kristoph's not an idiot, he's just careless (which doesn't surprise me, considering he is so convinced that if he ties his loose ends he won't get caught that he doesn't even tie his loose ends all the way, nor watch what he says in regards to murders he committed). That's not to say he's some kind of mastermind either, but he is intelligent. I don't think he could pull Simeon Saint levels of bullshit but he's very much capable of successfully and skillfully manipulating people. My point here being, if he has murdered other people before he murdered Zak and after he attempted to poison the Mishams, he probably wouldn't be surprised about having the impulse to kill some random guy, making him more inclined to believe he did just kill some guy.

I also think it's worth it to compare how Athena's Psyche-Locks broke in Dual Destinies to Kristoph's behavior. Athena was able to be eased into her Psyche-Locks breaking. She didn't have any reason not to trust the things Phoenix was saying. Kristoph is so paranoid that he doesn't trust anyone. He wouldn't have been able to have his Psyche-Locks broken because he would just deny everything that's being said until he can't deny it anymore and breaks down, something at least directly related to his paranoia, if not also his NPD. This is why I mentioned in this post that breaking Kristoph's Psyche-Locks would always be a bad idea. He'd never get to a point where he'd be able to mentally handle the truth. Kris's trust issues run so deep that he'd never trust anything anyone's saying until the damage is already done and the Psyche-Locks are broken. In Kristoph's case, there's no way to break those fuckers without causing the damage Pearl mentioned as something that'll happen if they're broken when they're not ready to be. I wouldn't be surprised if this is why Kristoph's breakdown in Turnabout Succession is so intense.

Part 4: Kristoph's Personal Relationships

For this section, I'm going to discuss each of Kristoph's relationships separately, then go into what his relationships say about him in general. So let's start.

Kristoph & Klavier

Kristoph and Klavier's dynamic is genuinely one of the most interesting in the Ace Attorney series to me.

Klavier doesn't really talk about Kristoph much, and the same sorta seems to apply to Kristoph. We don't learn anything about Klavier and Kristoph's dynamic until Turnabout Succession, and we know Kristoph didn't talk about Klavier because Apollo didn't even know Kristoph has a brother. When we do see what their dynamic was like in 2019, it's Klavier being used by Kristoph. Kristoph used Klavier to get Phoenix disbarred, and it weighed on Klavier's mind for seven years.

I also think it's worth noting the following exchange from Turnabout Succession:

Klavier: Let's clean out the family closet, eh, Kristoph? Kristoph: You're spinning out of control. Calm yourself before you say something you'll regret. Klavier: Spinning out of whose control? Mine? …Or yours?

Which implies that Kristoph exhibited some kind of controlling behavior towards Klavier. It doesn't surprise me because Kristoph's a control freak. I'd also be more surprised if Klavier wasn't afraid of Kristoph killing him at some point. Additionally, something I mentioned in my Klavier analysis is that in the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession, Klavier does have a good view of Kristoph and even seems to look up to him. He takes Kristoph at his word that Phoenix is going to present forged evidence despite (by 24 year old Klavier's account) finding it weird even then, and keeps him anonymous when he brings up the fact that Phoenix presented forged evidence. Another thing I mentioned in the aforementioned Klavier analysis is that based on Klavier's behavior, he didn't realize Kristoph was manipulating him until sometime after the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession. Something made Klavier realize he was being manipulated. Could be age or that Kristoph did something that made Klavier realize Kristoph was a piece of shit, but no matter what it was, something happened that made Klavier's view of Kristoph shift.

Kristoph & Phoenix

Kristoph and Phoenix are also really interesting to me because Kristoph's end of their friendship is fueled by paranoia, and Phoenix's side is fueled by a desire to keep Kristoph close and basically investigate him. It's toxic on both their ends, and that makes it really interesting. Their dynamic also has a really good example of "Kristoph will lash out if someone even minutely slights him" in both Phoenix's trial and Vera's.

During Phoenix's trial, Kristoph gets so upset over the trial even slightly alluding to the potential for him being present to kill Shadi that the judge has to remind him that Phoenix is his client. Phoenix is also so determined to get Kristoph caught that he forges evidence (technically twice) and revamps the entire justice system (and this was exclusively to get Kristoph caught). They're both incredibly petty with each other. I'm not really sure what to add here, they're just so toxic they should come with a radiation warning.

Kristoph & Apollo

Apollo looks up to Kristoph. Kristoph uses this to his advantage during Phoenix's trial, using the fact that Apollo is loyal to and looks up to both Kristoph and Phoenix to emotionally manipulate him. He then probably tries to use "You would betray me, your teacher?" to further manipulate him, but Apollo's desire to find the truth overrides his loyalty to Kristoph (something Apollo literally tells Kristoph).

Kristoph has one final instance of trying to emotionally manipulate Apollo; he gets Klavier to the point where he essentially shuts down then blames Klavier shutting down on Apollo. This doesn't work of course, and Apollo bulldozes on through anyway.

In general I think we can come to a pretty solid conclusion that Kristoph will either manipulate and gaslight people to get what he wants or stalks them out of an intense paranoia that's directly related to how he sees himself as a result of the NPD he didn't get treatment for. Instead of coping with things like a normal fucking person, he resorts to both physical and psychological violence and stalking.

Part 5: Conclusion

So here we are. Almost 3k words later. I do not want the takeaway from this to be "Kristoph's a manipulative, violent asshole because he's a narcissist" and if that's your takeaway you need to rethink literally everything I said here. The fact that Kristoph could be diagnosed with NPD has nothing to do with him choosing violence. NPD has nothing to do with him choosing to stalk everyone involved with Zak's trial instead of getting help for his paranoia. I want that to be perfectly clear. The thing with NPD is it can be hard for the person suffering from it to realize they have it and subsequently get help for it. Kristoph's problem isn't exactly that he has NPD. It's that he never got help for the thinking patterns the NPD caused. Had he gotten help I don't think he would've ended up stalking and murdering people. He'd still have NPD, but he wouldn't be near as fucked up.

It's why Klavier and Kristoph are so interesting as characters. Klavier has narcissistic traits but he evidently got help for them, as he's nowhere near as egotistical at 24 as he was when he was 17, although he does start exhibiting those traits again under high stress situations. He's still not completely okay mentally (otherwise he wouldn't regress like that), but he's also better than Kristoph at managing his symptoms when they do show up. Kristoph doesn't even try to get help for his symptoms, which leads to his downfall. Had he gotten help for his narcissism, he might've ended up a bit more like Klavier.

I hope Ace Attorney's prison system has a proper therapy program. I hope Kristoph's able to get help when and if he decides he wants it, because I am personally of the belief that everyone deserves help if they want it, and Kristoph's no different. I don't think he deserves to have Phoenix, Apollo, or Klavier back in his life, and I wouldn't blame any of them for never talking to him again, but that doesn't mean I don't think Kristoph deserves help. He would just have to realize he has a problem first, which I doubt happened soon after Apollo Justice and I'd frankly be surprised if it ever happens. But I hope the offer for help is there if he decides he wants it.

So why is Kristoph Like That? Untreated mental health issues that he's implied to realize is a problem.

*Again, please do not act like I'm saying Kristoph having NPD is an excuse for his actions. He chose not to get help. He chose to stalk people. He chose to kill people. Him having NPD isn't an excuse for that. My goal here was simply to answer "Why is Kristoph Gavin like that?" Do not misconstrue my intentions here or what I'm saying. Kristoph's NPD isn't what drove him to do what he did. Him choosing to embrace symptoms that hurt people did.

#ace attorney #kristoph gavin #ace attorney analysis #character analysis #apollo justice ace attorney #apollo justice spoilers #aa4 #aa4 spoilers #tw stalking #tw manipulation #tw murder #tw abuse #is it obvious that i'm super nervous to post this because i said kristoph has npd #anyway be civil please #ALSO i very much think kristoph is a good example of what can happen when you dont get help for severe mental health issues #hell im experiencing it myself (although not anywhere close to the same degree as kristoph)#i have what im pretty sure is borderline personality disorder (ironically realized because of klavier)#but im not in a position where getting help is easy which is not making my life any easier #i didn't even realize it was a massive problem until i did research on what splitting looks like for a fanfiction. at which point i was lik #“huh. this sounds INCREDIBLY similar to experiences i've had. maybe i should get help for this”#take this as your cue to be like me and get help for your mental health conditions. you will (probably. hopefully) not regret it

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