#Like sure if something is haunted; it’s haunted and should be investigated for science… like whatever

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

There’s a real paranormal attraction near me open at night!!! :D

…but everything is done in such a tourist-attracting way that the whole business appears to hinge upon sensationalized exploitation of the mentally ill >:(

[decks-writing-blog]

Whatever the Fuck Benrey Is: Chapter Seventeen: Just a Peek

Chapter One

Previous Chapter

~

‘Aperture’s haunted.’ read Bubby’s text to the group chat several days after he’d left.

Gordon shouldn’t ask because he shouldn’t have even checked his phone and had only done so because it going off had reminded him he hadn’t put it on silent. At work, still sorting through Black Mesa’s recovered hard drives – so far nothing on Benrey had been found – wasn’t the time. But on the other hand… ‘What does that mean?’

It was Benrey who replied. ‘theres ghosts there’

Dr. Coomer’s reply came a second later. ‘It means the Aperture Science facility is inhabited by ghosts and/or demons. Both of whom are known for existing in or sometimes being trapped or bound to specific locations that are then referred to as being ‘haunted’. Sometimes they will also haunt specific people, following them when they move to a new house or just sticking with them throughout the day. One could perhaps say that you were once haunted like this Gordon, when you claimed a skeleton was following you that the rest of us couldn’t see. There are also haunted items, meaning that a ghost/demon is connected to that item.’ How did he type all that so fast? … Probably some cybernetic thing in his hands giving him superhuman texting speed. Gordon was a little jealous, he was used to it now but one-handed texting was still uncomfortably slow.

‘I know what the word haunted means. What I meant was, ‘please explain in what way the Aperture Science facility is supposedly haunted, Bubby’. What drew you to that conclusion?’

‘Should’ve just said that then, dumbass.’ Bubby replied at last. ‘I mean everyone’s dead. I had to break in to even get inside because corpses can’t open doors.’

‘How’d everyone die?’ Tommy asked.

‘I don’t know and I wasn’t sticking around to find out. I think I’m gonna get a job at NASA instead. They’re more ethical so less fun but I want to go to space anyway.’

‘Maybe we should go check out Aperture? They might need help. Like maybe they did a resonance cascade too.’ Gordon didn’t particularly like the thought of going to a place in the middle of something like that but they’d already dealt with one. They’d be more prepared this time too. If Aperture’s got more out of hand it could come back to bite them.

‘I don’t think that’s it. No one was injured and the air smelled bad. Worse than just normal death smell. It made me feel a bit unwell. I think it was poison.’

It would maybe be a good idea to make absolutely sure that whatever it was wouldn’t crawl up out of the facility and do who knows what. Also like with Black Mesa’s disaster, there might be survivors in need of help. And then there was the technology aspect of it. What all Aperture was working on was a mystery but if any of it was anything like some of Black Mesa’s projects, it was some pretty big stuff, potentially capable of making a big impact on the world. Whatever had been on the Borealis had certainly been a pretty big deal before it vanished a couple years ago, bringing Black Mesa’s spies – it had been a big enough deal to draw all three of them in – with it to never be heard from again. An event big enough that it had become the gossip of the whole Black Mesa facility for like a week, ending once and for all the ‘secret’ part of Black Mesa’s spies at Aperture being an open secret.

On the other hand though, it would be dangerous, the drive down there was multiple days and they were kind of in the middle of something right now. Finding Benrey’s files before someone else on the Black Mesa staff did was important. If they left for that long, someone else would take over the sorting job now that it had been started.

‘Maybe we wait for it to clear out a bit more then go investigate. Or just send other people.’ Gordon had a position of power in Black Mesa now, he could use that to his advantage. Aperture being their long term rival would make it justifiable as a company move too. He wouldn’t condone stealing their research but if they were all dead anyway or just as defunct as Black Mesa now was… Or they could maybe merge and become just the one big science tech company that he was trying to not let be super unethical anymore but Breen was still the boss and likely wouldn’t be willing to continue to bend to Gordon’s will as much as he had been for too much longer. They could still potentially do good things though. If they got there anyway. ‘For now, I gotta get back to work.’

His phone beeped again before he set it to silent and put it down but he ignored it. He was a professional. And Tommy and Dr. Coomer were literally in the room with him so if it was either of them had something important to say or relay from Benrey or Bubby, they could just tell him verbally.

~

By some bastion of luck one of the last already recovered hard drives contained the data on Dr. Coomer’s clones. The experiment had started with cloning mice, then rabbits, then monkeys before finally reaching human studies. Given that it was about cloning, Gordon shouldn’t be surprised to encounter the name ‘Harold Coomer’, especially since he’d decided to keep reading instead of moving on because he’d known of Coomer’s clones, but he kind of was anyway. In his defense it was late and they were staying overtime to finish sorting through the rest of the data so he was tired and his brain was a bit fried. Most of Black Mesa’s experiments being interesting didn’t make them not taxing to sort through.

Tearing his gaze off his screen, he looked up at Dr. Coomer sitting at the desk across from him. They hadn’t discussed what to do should any of them find Dr. Coomer or Bubby’s data. Anyone else at Black Mesa seeing it wouldn’t be as much of an issue as they weren’t being kept secret. But it might still contain the kind of info one or both of them didn’t want the friend group knowing. After all it was kind of like looking at medical records, right?

So Gordon should tell Dr. Coomer what he’d found. Maybe even ask him if he wanted the data deleted or stolen to be put solely into his possession the way they planned to do with Benrey’s. It’d be the polite thing to do. …. On the other hand though, Gordon was curious. It was natural to be curious about one’s super-powered friends, right? Since things had settled down, Gordon had made several attempts to talk to Dr. Coomer about his clones and cybernetics but while he always answered questions, he wasn’t often particularly forthcoming on the specifics of how it all worked. So delving a little bit further into his data couldn’t hurt, right? Just a peek, nothing more.

~

A few hours later, Gordon looked back up after having gone over the whole experiment. That was fine though because most of it had been about the clones and what had gone into trying to make each one more powerful than the last – resulting instead in each clone’s death, making the real Dr. Coomer stronger – and not too, too much about Dr. Coomer himself. Other than his literal medical records which Gordon had only skimmed for the scraps of information it had on his cybernetics. Most of which seemed to have been put in after the cloning had been completed as there wasn’t much about them. It was an entirely different experiment done by an entirely different department so it made sense that there wouldn’t be much.

With a sigh, he pushed back from his desk and stood to stretch. It was just him and Dr. Coomer in the office now. Tommy had left to feed Sunkist her dinner. And about an hour ago, after falling asleep on his keyboard, Darnold, had been shooed off to go home and rest. So now would be a good time to tell Dr. Coomer, Gordon had looked through his cloning records. But… it wasn’t that important, was it? Dr. Coomer wouldn’t care so… no need to share. Gordon should just sit back down and move on.

They were almost done, would’ve been done by now if not for Gordon’s distraction but no one needed to know about that. And then as Black Mesa’s members continued pulling stuff out and bringing it here for safe keeping until the far off distant date when the facility was functional again, Gordon and friends could sort through it right as it came in. Benrey’s stuff would show up eventually, no need to go down there themselves. And then Gordon could easily get a peek at it, just a peek, nothing more. He’d skim it to answer just a few questions before giving it to Benrey to do with as he pleased. Yeah, he hadn’t just skimmed Dr. Coomer’s clone stuff but it was less personal anyway, he’d be better with Benrey’s stuff. And then if he was lucky he’d get to peek at Bubby’s records too and possibly Dr. Coomer’s cybernetics stuff as well.

“You got terribly focused on something for a bit there,” Dr. Coomer said as Gordon sat back down. “Did you find something?”

“Uh…” Gordon should tell him. He’d literally asked and it wasn’t that personal so it was fine that Gordon had looked. “Yeah… um… an experiment that was kind of interesting, wanted to know more, got a bit sucked in on accident. We’re almost done though so… yeah, just a bit more.”

“Ooh, what was the experiment?”

“Light sabers, they were trying to make a real one.” Why was Gordon lying? It was fine. Maybe it was a bit weird to have read through the experiment data without letting Dr. Coomer know about it first but not a big deal. “They failed, unfortunately.” He had indeed skimmed through such an experiment earlier so at least he wasn’t making that up too.

“Ah, a shame. I quite liked Star Wars. Perhaps that is an idea we could return to in the near future. For now though, onwards and upwards.”

With a mostly clear conscious, Gordon got back to work. He’d come clean about looking through it later, wouldn’t even have to admit that he’d lied initially. Just causally bring up that he’d come across it and had read through some of it. Not a big deal at all.

***

“It’ll take longer but if we just keep sorting through all the experiment data as it comes in, your stuff, if its intact, is bound to show up eventually.” Gordon had stayed over at work late to finish sorting through the rest of the stuff they already had only to come home with this. “And no one seems suspicious that its just us and Darnold looking through all of it so the risk of someone else seeing it first is relatively low.”

“Yeah but then I don’t get to participate in the heist.” Of course it would’ve been easier if they’d already had his records waiting to be sorted but it also would’ve been more boring. Going and finding them in the facility itself was far more interesting and would give Benrey something to do other than hang out in the basement for a couple hours a day, trying in vain to find any sort of ‘true form’ while the others to did all the real work for him.

Gordon sighed as he resumed heading into kitchen. “Feeling particularly urgent about it?”

Benrey followed, stopping in the doorway. “Uh… guess so, yeah.” Every failed shape shifting session in the basement, though nowhere near as long or arduous as the first, made him more frustrated with the question. “It’s your fault for making me care ‘bout it even though it doesn’t matter.”

Gordon opened the fridge to stare at its insides. A thing he did frequently. Why was it so hard for him to decide what to eat if he was so hungry he had to eat two or three times a day every day? “I suppose it is, huh? But I think it matters. You might not be the only one of your kind, wouldn’t that be cool to know?”

That thought had come to Benrey multiple times since Gordon had first brought it up and refused to completely dissipate no matter how many times he pushed it away. What if he was an alien with a whole alien race out there somewhere and maybe even a family he’d been taken from Though… “If I’m not the only one, there’s a whole bunch of others out there on Xen just like me, what then, huh? You gonna help me reunite with them?�� No, of course he wouldn’t. Going back to Xen would be silly after the resonance cascade.

“Uh… maybe. I mean we’d been going into Xen for years just fine. I don’t even know how long, not my department, but longer than I’d been working there for sure. Not sure how we got there the first time but if we did it once we could do it again. And then once we have one means of travel there and back we just need to not fuck around with anymore resonance experiments and it’ll probably be fine.”

It would still be a risk though. And it would certainly be a lot of work just for Benrey. … No, not just for him. Gordon was a scientist, he wanted to study things and see if he could make a portal to Xen happen just to see if he could. That was fine though because it would still be partially for Benrey, even if only a little, and that would be pretty neat. Assuming he was an alien anyway and not made in the lab from ground up alien plants or something.

“So yeah,” Gordon continued as he finally selected last night’s leftovers from the fridge and moved them to the microwave. “If it turns out you’re an alien and if you wanna meet your people or whatever, I’m sure the others will be willing to help see if we can make it happen. It’ll certainly give us something to do, huh? And uh… speaking of that, I guess tomorrow we’ll meet up with the others discuss if we actually wanna make the drive to get your stuff ourselves or if it might be better to just wait.”

That trip really would be just for Benrey’s sake. No one but him would benefit from it but Gordon was seemingly still open to it. He certainly wasn’t shutting it down anyway even though he was right in it not being strictly necessary. … Probably more of him being nice because he was lonely, traumatized, and scared of being alone. Benrey shouldn’t take advantage of that. “I could walk. Long walk though so uh… you’ll have to find someone else to cuddle at night ‘til I get back. Tommy probably wouldn’t, don’t think he likes touching a whole lot, Coomer or Bubby might though. Sunkist don’t like to be held but she might lay on you if you ask nice.”

“Oh, um nah, dude, walking would takes ages. If you really don’t wanna wait, I’ll uh… drive you down there even if the others don’t wanna join us. Don’t worry about it.”

Benrey could insist and maybe even head out right now. Gordon couldn’t stop him. It would maybe even be the right thing to do since this was without a doubt Gordon’s need to please raising up. Encouraging him in it might not be good for him. … Or maybe it would be good for him and help him eventually get better about it. Benrey barely knew how his own mind and emotions worked, anyone else’s, especially a human’s, was beyond him.

Also it was a very long walk just to get to the facility and then another not as long but still long walk from there to get to the part that his data was housed in. And then all the way back doubled both. The second long walk was inevitable either way as the trams no longer worked but it’d be less boring with company – even if said company would also mean he wouldn’t be cutting as many corners – especially when cutting out the long, lonely boring first part of the trip. So… “Okay. Thanks.”

Gordon hummed an acknowledgment, patting Benrey lightly on the shoulder with his gun hand as he walked past him, bearing his sad microwaved leftovers. “Uh… play something so I got something to watch while I eat?”

“Sure.” Benrey had paused his game to come chat with Gordon upon him returning home so he had no complaints about doing so and followed. They would talk about it more tomorrow. If they decided to wait, Benrey would just go by himself and walk.

~

The conversation was surprisingly brief. Gordon suggested they wait, Benrey said he didn’t want to and would’ve preferred to walk instead. Ultimately they all agreed to go.

With how long the trip to the old Black Mesa facility was and how deep they were planning to delve into it to find what they were looking for, they’d be spending at least one night there, probably more like two but perhaps more. And thus Gordon and the rest of the Science Team bought what they called ‘camping gear’. No tent though, the one thing Benrey associated with the idea of camping.

“We’ll be indoors,” Gordon explained on the drive home when asked, “so a tent’s not really needed. Sleeping bags will do just fine.”

“Lame. Guess it’s not a camping trip though so… whatever.” Benrey had got to see and touch the display tents in the store anyway so not having one was fine.

Gordon sighed. “I really gotta take you out more, huh? Being less lazy would probably be for good me too so… how ‘bout we go real camping sometime? I’ve never been but how hard can it really be?”

“Ooh, where?”

“I don’t now. Maybe somewhere in Colorado. They’re just north of us and supposedly got good outdoorsy areas. Could probably go skiing or something too. …. Or uh, maybe not since you’re cold-blooded so the cold might not be fun for you. So maybe we should stick to the desert.”

“Nah, I wanna go skiing, looks fun.” And the snow, was it really as soft as it looked in games?

“All right, it’s a plan then, I guess. I’ve certainly earned a vacation. So we’ll do that sometime in the near future once were done with… you know.”

From there it wasn’t long before they reached home. The plan had been to pack as soon they were through the door but with only a little bit of prodding, Benrey got Gordon to play some games with him first. They were leaving early tomorrow morning so it was important they get some good game time in today. Gordon did eventually put his foot down though; disappointing but probably for the best.

Some of their supplies were provided by Black Mesa as the trip was being made under the guise of it being another salvage run. Benrey coming along and thus being another body to put a pack on apparently meant extra could be brought. The fact that he wasn’t planning on eating or drinking while there made it a bit annoying to be loaded up with water bottles and food rations but he was being allowed to bring the Game Boy Advance and some games in his pack too so he’d put up with it.

Benrey helped with the packing at first but Gordon apparently found issue with his packing style and shooed him away. Leaving him to just wonder around the bedroom and watch. Or he could head off to play more games until it was bedtime; Gordon could come join him again when he was done packing. But someone needed to make sure he didn’t forget anything important such as the HEV suit still sitting in its box in the closet. He could of course be planning on not taking it out until morning but he was forgetful sometimes and it should probably be put on charge tonight to make sure it was fully powered when they go to the facility so… “Don’t forget the HEV suit.”

Gordon paused and looked up at him. “Why?”

What did he mean ‘why?’ “Might be dangerous.” The deeper one went into a dungeon, the more dangerous it was after all. Not that the facility was the exact same as a video game dungeon but it was close enough that the same basic principle had to apply, right? Especially since it had during their first journey through it.

“Maybe but… no. I’d rather not. It’s heavy, a pain to put on, and probably out of power by now.”

“Yeah, that’s why should bring it out now, put it on charge so its all juiced up tomorrow.”

“I don’t have anything to charge it with and don’t really wanna bother anyway.”

Since the idea had first been brought up, Benrey had been assuming that Gordon putting the HEV suit back on was part of the plan. Unlike their first trip back when they’d only intended to venture into the living area of the facility, they were going deeper. Not as deep as they’d gone in their initial journey through the facility but said journey had proven that deeper meant more dangerous. At the time ‘more dangerous’ had translated to ‘more fun’ for Benrey. Now that he knew and cared more about how weak and fragile Gordon was though that wouldn’t be the case anymore. Especially if he was going without the one thing that had kept him alive that first journey. If he lost another limb, it was probably gone for good. … Or if he died, he wouldn’t come back.

“But uh… what if you die? That’d be a bummer.” … More than a bummer actually. Once the thought had made Benrey sad, now it was making him squirm. Was this what anxiety was? A raising tension caused by a fear that wasn’t sourced by a proper threat, just the potential of one. No wonder Gordon was always so twitchy and unable to hold still whenever he got anxious. It was a very unpleasant feeling. Benrey would like to stop feeling it … “So you should wear the HEV suit just in case.”

Gordon looked back down and continued packing. “Nope, not happening.”

“What if there’s more zombies or the lightening aliens or… or the squid guys? What if the military shows up again?” Almost anything except maybe the first was almost certain death if Gordon got hit without protection, right?

“I doubt any of that’ll happen.”

“Could though. What if we run into more… radiation stuff? That’s bad without the HEV suit for normal humans, right? Or an earthquake hits and uh… a wall falls on you or something. Probably survivable with the HEV suit but not without it.”

Gordon paused and looked up at him again, even straightening to fully tun towards him. “You really worried about me?”

“You’re weak, easy to kill, and wouldn’t come back if you died.”

His confused expression turned into the more familiar annoyed one. “Dude, there’s no need to word it like that. It sounds like a threat.”

Benrey shrugged. “Is true though. Maybe I should just go by myself after all.” In hindsight, he should’ve just gone when first deciding he wanted to look at his records. He’d have already had them by now if he had… assuming the computers they’re on were still intact anyway.

“No, no, no. We’re going with you because we already said we would. And we’re already signed up for the thing so can’t back out now.” Gordon walked around the bed to stand in front of Benrey. Looking down at him, his expression softened again. “I’ll be fine though, ‘kay? I got this,” he held up his gun hand, “and I know how to use it. And all you guys are all kinds of powerful so… I’ll be fine. If I do get hit or something, you could just bleed on me a bit and that’ll fix it. We already tested that, remember?”

“I guess so, yeah.” Logically it made no sense to be so worried and normally Benrey wouldn’t be. Worrying about things wasn’t his style. It never accomplished anything, much easier to just roll with whatever happened as it happened. None of it could permanently hurt him anyway so why concern himself much with any of it? But he wouldn’t be able to just roll with it if Gordon died or got hurt in some other permanent way that couldn’t be fixed.

Somehow Gordon had gone from a fun fascination to worming his way into Benrey’s brain and making him feel all sorts of things he didn’t normally feel. Some of those were pleasant feelings but this was very much the opposite. This feeling sucked even more than Gordon having made him care about his past and whether or not he had a true form. And that was saying something because that sucked pretty bad. Even worse would be if Benrey’s newfound anxieties did come true.

“You okay?” Gordon asked, drawing Benrey’s gaze back up to him. He was giving Benrey a mildly concerned look. … His annoyed looks were more fun. That was the problem with getting closer to him; he was annoyed with Benrey less often and worried for him more instead. People being worried for him sucked. The only concern Gordon or anyone should be feeling in regards to Benrey is concern for what kind of mischief he might get up to. But Benrey was concerned for him too, meaning they were concerned for each other. Which was stupid.

“I’ve never felt like this before. I don’t like it. It’s lame.”

“Like what?”

Part of Benrey didn’t want to say but Gordon had told him he could talk to him about things and this was certainly a thing. “Anxious.”

Gordon stared at him for a beat or two in silence before letting a slight chuckle. “Oh dude, being anxious sucks so much, believe me, I know. But uh… uh…” The mirth left his voice as he expression to something more serious. “You’re uh… really actually anxious that I might die or something?”

Benrey had just got done saying so. But by now he was mostly used to Gordon needing things repeated for him. “Yeah or getting hurt in a way that can’t be fixed again. Could lose you other hand or… a foot or something.”

“Please don’t put that thought in my head. But uh… wow, um… didn’t think you… Being anxious sucks. So how ‘bout, because I can’t put the suit back on even if I’d wanted to, if it’ll make you feel better, I stay at the back of the group?

“Middle of the group. Something could sneak up behind.”

“Okay. Middle of the group then. And I promise I’ll be careful as I can be because trust me, I don’t wanna die or lose another body party either. That help you feel a bit less anxious? I know it’s not that easy but… you know, there’s only so much we do about anxiety while still living our lives.”

“Guess it’s better than nothing.” And once they were deeper in the facility Benrey would stick close to him, make sure nothing take advantage of how weak he was.

“Good. Now, I should finish packing. But first uh… I um… uh…” He lifted his hand as if intended to touch Benrey’s shoulder or perhaps go a bit higher to his face. He did neither though as he grimaced and pulled away instead. “You’re a good friend. Thanks for uh… that, being a good friend. It’s… I appreciate it.” Before he’d even finished speaking he was back pedaling, going back around to resume packing, doing so with a bit more intensity than before.

Sweet. Benrey was a good friend. That somehow made the negative feelings Gordon inspired in him more bearable. Being anxious sucked but at least it made him a good friend. … Which also meant Gordon being worried about him, made Gordon a good friend too. It was still uncalled for and kind of annoying but maybe it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

~

Next Chapter

[night-wilf]

I come back with a story! Forgive mistakes I am up to my eyeballs in work for College. Besides that, here is a nice little one shot:

.

Jason stares at his father as he talks on the phone, unusually animated for a change from brooding and grumpy. The language he is speaking complete nonsense to any ordinary person nearby. Talking so fast it’s like listening to a speedster rambling at great speed. Which is a feat in itself.

Alfred walks in to watch with Jason and sits beside him, “He is talking to his younger brother. I believe your cousin is having a birthday soon from how animated he is. They have need seen each other for some time.” “No shit, it’s like I’m listening to the Flash? What language is he speaking?” “One that has not been learned in over a couple centuries, it is only spoken in Amity Park now.” “Amity Park? That really haunted place we were told not to investigate?” “Yes. It is Bruce’s home.” Jason makes a face and looks at Bruce, his speech becoming English as he slowly returns to his normal self. Damian is in the doorway staring in complete confusion as the receiver is put down. The confusion he sees making Bruce remember he hasn’t spoken ‘ghost Latin’ around them at all, oops.

“Father. What on earth where you speaking in?” “Ghost Latin, should have taught you some by now.” “… Ghost Latin? As the spooky dead things people are scared of?” “Yes, your cousin is the King of them.”

Dick can be heard spitting out his drink in surprise at this, trying to get through the day exhausted and NOT prepared to learn the cousin he has heard so much about is the King of the fucking dead. Soon everyone filters in to hear about this family and half demand to meet them. Bruce was going to ask them anyway, it is Danny’s 20th birthday so a visit is warranted.

This question gets immediate agreements, “Good, we will be going for a week. I want to show you everything about my home town and the quirks. We don’t have to worry about covering patrol because it will likely be 2 days outside of the time warping area.” “Time warping?” Jason takes a deep breath and asks what everyone is thinking, “What do you mean by time warping area?” “Well since Amity is connected to access to a void between worlds, time is weird. I was mentally 15 when I had to come to Gotham. Looked like a 6 year old kid in person.” Jason puts his head in his hands, “I was not mentally prepared for this today.”

“None of you were master Jason. Shall I arrange for transport?” “Yes, thank you Alfred.” Bruce does his best to talk about stories of his childhood, most an unfathomable tale of ‘how the shit is this on earth’. One including the fact that he was only 14 when the oldest cousin was born. Guy is apparently a living tank and got the intimidation glare to match it, reportedly where Bruce found his bat-stare came from.

“He’s 40 something now right?” “No, 29. He just finished college and works in a bar, he’s also the knight for is brother during events. Think he tutors kids from the high school on the weekends as well, mostly in sciences.” Bruce shrugs and watches the faces of his kids crumple in complete bewilderment. “How does time work in this town?” “It doesn’t.”

“Clearly. Does food come alive?!” “Half a chance it does, need an ectoplasm absorber in the fridge to not gave your bread try and swarm like a gang of hornets on steroids.” Bruce shrugs and the kids sigh heavily, “You’ll love it there. I promise.”

The few nervous nights before the trip are spent trying to figure out what to pack for, the scenarios they will have to get out of becoming more and more ridiculous each time. Alfred goes through their bags before they can leave and no amount of pleading will budge the man on letting them take their various tech and weapons. Besides the essentials.

“It sounds like hell.” “Master Bruce will make sure you are safe. Everything will make sense when you get there. Trust your father will keep you safe and that there is no immediate danger for the living.” “… That’s just even more fucking ominous.” “Language master Tim.”

The private jet arranged for them all makes the 3 hours journey seem like 2 minutes, though that is mostly due to the nervousness of the kids. Bruce is happy as can be and excited to finally see his brother again after years apart. This doesn’t help calm the very nervous bat kids in the slightest.

The smooth landing is a relief for everyone, Bruce going first as he pushes away his brother waiting to body everyone with love. Dan helps a lot and holds back the rectangle of a man who grumbles. Maddie rolls her eyes at her husband’s antics and holds back the hyper little girl she calls a daughter, Danny helps to keep his clone calm.

Everyone eases up seeing the steam of young adults and children look at the sky in complete wonder. Night time in the small town is a marvel of the universe which goes unseen, Bruce happily telling them that what they witness is the multiverse and universe before their very eyes. Danny starts talking about particular clusters and has to be kept speaking English by Maddie. His extensive knowledge of the universe and its many corners taking away the bewilderment the bat kids had coming over.

“You really weren’t kidding when you say time doesn’t work here huh?” Bruce chuckles and pats Dick on the shoulder.

“Right, onto introductions.” Bruce points to the people he names, keeping his playful insults which only he can get away with, “The rectangle is my younger brother Jack and the gorgeous lady by his side Maddie, his wife. The little Pikachu gremlin is Ellie, the royalty of the room is Danny-“ “Quit calling me that.” Danny gets a playful whack to the head from Jack. “No I will not stop that. This lovely young lady is Jasmine, prefers Jazz for future reference, and the living breathing human tank is Dan.” “You know, I would punch you, but you are not wrong.” Bruce smiles cheekily at an amused Dan who eventually laughs a little, sometimes the little jokes are all you need.

This information sinks in and Alfred clears his throat to introduce his stunned grandchildren, “This is the acrobatic peacock Dick, or Richard, this is the hygienic zombie Jason, the just as royally pain in the arse Stephanie, her partner in crime and cookie stealer Cassandra, the caffeine addict insomniac Tim, the only other normal person Duke, the smart arse who can walk if she tires is Barbra and the crowning gem of a miniature demon to my clean floors, Damian.”

“Well it is lovely to meet you all and I am glad you have decided to visit us, Danny to take round town when Bruce is getting some proper sleep.” Maddie leans over and stares at her subject, the usually stoic man now very nervous realising he’s been caught in a lie. Alfred can only laugh a little and agree to the very observant glare, “That goes for all of you lot too. Proper sleep and no caffeine.”

“Oh come on, don’t mum us,” Tim whines softly. “Do. Not. Test. Me.” The glare now turns to Tim, making him squeak and hide behind Jason. So that is where he got the bat glare from, additionally where Alfred got his steel nerve dealing with their shit.

The rather rickety RV which drives them all to the hotel is enough to scare Bruce a little with Jack’s erratic driving, though they get there in one piece. The whole floor they occupy is quiet and rather comfortable for a few nights stay, the odd floral scent in the air sticking to them like superglue. Not going to be fun to wash out. Alfred is glad to be able to relax and plans to be a comically cheesy old man on holiday for the week. He even packed Hawaiian shirts for this very reason.

Bruce has already guessed this could be Alfred’s plan so he’ll gladly take over childcare, split among himself and Jack. He knows Dan wants to take Jason and Damian for shovel talk at some point over their cores, which he won’t stop. He also hopes to see his parents at some point, hoping they managed to stick around.

The restful night’s sleep is heaven to the exhausted heroes as they finally get in a full 8 hours to rest. Jason and Damian are hyper as all hell as they finally have contact with good ectoplasm that is healing their cores. This hyper-ness doesn’t help the reactions from their exhausted family who slump over breakfast trying to gather energy for the day.

Alfred has already disappeared to play golf all day with some of the high school teachers.

Jason practically leaps into Bruce’s arms at seeing him and is lucky he doesn’t kill him, fortunately Steph and Cass are able to peal their brother off of him with some difficulty. Some sanity is restored after dinner, the buffet breakfast cleared out by all of them in 20 minutes.

Maddie meets the girls to take them on a day trip with Jazz, showing around the small shops to see if they want any of the hand crafted clothes. It’s an offer they can’t refuse and enjoy the chance to have some girl time away from their siblings. The boys are split between Jack, Dan and Bruce. Bruce takes Duke for some much needed bonding time, Dan taking the two halfas and Jack taking Dick and Tim to have some down time.

With Duke and Bruce…

Duke is damn happy to get some bonding time, having found that he doesn’t get much time to get to know the man who adopted him. He smiles and plays with the ghosts of Bruce’s childhood dogs that play rough and lick at him when he’s down. The large Dobermans loving and protective pooches that died a natural death, still very close to their loyal owner after years of being dead. Living among the many ghostly pets that live in the park hoping to see their owners again one day. The thought of the love they have transcending life itself making him a little sad. Bruce doesn’t dismiss the sadness of it, mostly speaking of how loyal someone can be to another. The fact it is a weakness he mentioned, though not dwelling on.

Duke smiles and hugs Bruce tightly, both knocked over by the many dogs and cats who make them the base of a cuddle pile. Duke can only laugh and enjoy the warmth from them all, Bruce silent as he holds the paw of ace to never let go.

With Damian, Jason, Dan and Danny…

Danny smiles and sits on his brother’s shoulder as they walk to the local seminary. Damian smiles a little as he feels the wind on his face, perched on Danny’s shoulder not at all worried about falling. His peaceful expression makes Jason a little hopeful they can work out everything between them.

“So, this Lazarus pit shit… I’ll be blunt its sewage water for ghosts. It is so corrupted to the point not even the ghosts from that could ever function outside of Gotham. Feel bad for them. Their cores are always trying to make them something else, in pain and angry at the world which made them.” “Why would they be angry?” Jason looks over. “Because they come from a cold place where death is a paradise… Staying that way is even more of a mercy. Ra Ghoul or whatever who owns it, his own selfish desires make up the molecules within that vat of shit. The creations that come from it will always fade no matter what, they just survive.”

Jason almost throws up, “So it’s his bath water?” “Yyyyep.” “Ew.” Dan snorts and finish his ice cream, “Finish your ice cream and we can clean your cores, that and talk about crap. Should like you both need it, demon included.” “I know… I like being up here, can we do this every day I am here?” Damian glances down. “If you want little guy. Pay me ice creams and I’ll be your transport.” “Perfect.”

Jason puts the wrapper in the bin, looking at the amusing stack of people, “Why do you like ice cream so much? You seem to just be eating the stuff every time I see you.” “Ice, fire and electric core, if I am not careful I will melt into a pile of goo.” “Oh… Charming.” “Yeah, consequence of this one.” Dan point to Danny and chuckles when he gets a raspberry in return, “I am from a timeline that doesn’t exist anymore. Future version of Danny who want mad and tried killing everyone. In terms of this timeline I am the eldest of the family. Messing around by the ghost time let me live as myself and part of a family I want to protect.” “You’re still an asshole for stealing my chocolate.” “Shut up before I do it again squirt.”

Danny groans and Jason can only laugh, knowing what siblings can be like, “That is one heck of a story. Glad you were able to reform, live again and not be locked away forever.” Dan chuckles and takes the last bite of his ice cream.

“Wrappers in the hand.” He catches the two wrappers that are dropped, placing them in the bin at the entrance of the cemetery. Jason follows to the grave site of Thomas Wayne, confused as to why this was here. Danny calmly explains that The Wayne family have been living in Amity Park for generations, a foundation of what they could build with money earned from helping others. Few have ever left and Bruce is the most normal one he has ever met. ‘Normal’ being lightly used of course.

With the girls…

Maddie smiles as she listens to the giggles from her gal pals, Steph, Barbra and Cass loving the stories of Danny being an idiot in high school. Jazz gleefully enjoys gossiping with them as Ellie gets a piggy back from her. The bags they have gathered from the shops filled with tailored clothes from designers who are long dead. The authentic Victorian dress suit Cass has making her very excited for the next Gala to happen.

Ellie is wearing a sparkly unicorn dress and enjoying the hell out of being a kid, the time she never got as he was created as a young teen. Cass and Steph are happily making Ellie feel special, like a little princess who deserves the world. Barbra sticks to Maddie mostly as she finds the noise too much. They herd them towards Nasty Burger and gets what they want from the menu as they find seats. The conversation about unicorns and magic making her wish she had that time with Ellie in the first place.

At least Steph and Cass are playing along, seems like they need the break for being adults too early in life.

Maddie comes back with the tray piled high with food, Jazz keeping the peace as she gives out the greasy food to those who ordered what. The happy silence makes Steph start to laugh a little and get pictures of Cass stuffing her face with chips and burgers.

Barbra laughs a little at this image and goes quiet when she sees a version of herself walking around. Old and pushing her equally as ancient father to get some food, he doesn’t respond to anything she says. Appears old age is not kind to him in that world. This other version of her looks over and smiles sadly, ordering some shakes and burgers. Maddie follows Barbra’s gaze and sighs a little, hugging her, “It will alright. Sometimes that happens.” “I know… Just seeing it is a shock. I always thought he would have a good life at the end of it all.” “You can only hope death is peaceful for him.” Maddie smiles and rubs her shoulder a little, Barbra thankful to have that comfort nearby.

Ellie moves to hug Barbra and snuggles into her, earning an aggressive cuddle from her. Pretending to be a monster attacking Ellie. The little ghost giggles and tries to get away from the monster attacking her, Jazz in a fit of cackles at this.

“Rah rah rah rah. I’m going to eat youuuuu.” “Nooooo please don’t eat me. I’m too precious and cute!” “Well I can’t argue with that logic not can I?” Barbra boops Ellie and smiles as she watches the little ghost spark in her excitement. Something so special was just a clone at some point, the mindless copy of a person who was given a chance at life she deserves more than others. Steph and Cass move closer to hug them both, Jazz joining the part as Maddie takes a picture of them all.

“Adorable. All of you.” “Mum I am not cute.” “Yes you are dear.” “She’s right though, the most beautiful gal I’ve ever seen.” Steph flutters her eyelashes and gets a light punch in the arm. She laughs and begins to complement Jazz until she is red with everyone else, “Stop it. Please I am tomato stoooppppp.” The older Barbra watches with a smile, her father observing as he smiles a little and sips the shake that is held for him to drink. They lead on each other and remember the times Barbra was young, full of life and driving her father mad.

With Jack, Dick and Tim…

“THIS. IS. AWESOMEEEEE!” Tim zips around the Ghost Zone, a natural at the weightlessness and flight that comes with being in the world of the dead. His child-like joy not something that doesn’t come out very often. Dick laughs and watches as Jack holds his hand, flight not so natural to him.

“So nice to see him happy, honestly. Guess feeling this weightlessness is a nice departure from reality.” Dick chuckles as his brother crashes into something and quickly recovers. Jack smiles, defiantly his brother’s kid alright, “Yeah. It’s nice to just get away from it all sometimes. You are defiantly Bruce’s kid’s by the way, may not look like but you all act the same.” “Really?” “Tim right there is Bruce as a kid down to the disregard for safety.” Jack snorts and Dick raises an eyebrow, questioning his dad’s sanity even more now. Not to mention you can’t be sane coming from this place.

“How are you sane?” “Don’t ask. It is very complicated.” “I can imagine.”

Jack cackles a little and Dick rolls his eyes, Tim coming back to hear the conversation he missed. The question of sanity becoming about the balance of life and death in Amity Park. Jack does his best to describe it in a way they would understand, which is not very easy. You have to live in this town to understand what is going on and how it works from the bottom up.

The long day ends at the hotel buffet for dinner, Tim and Dick exhausted from flying for so long and falling sleep at their places. The girls gush over their new outfits and how fun it was to pretend they were all fantastical princesses for a while. Barbra doesn’t mention what she saw of her father, plus Maddie doesn’t force her to say anything.

Jason is relaxed for once now that his core not corrupted and getting along with the others much better. Damian and Dan are stuck together like glue as they chatter about various topics and ignore the world around them. The fact Dan has already become so close to the little demon is nice to see. Bruce smiles at this as Duke plays with the ghost of a little parrot, the squeaks and playful voice of the bird fading into the background noise of the restaurant.

The next few days involve planning Danny’s party and exploring town some more, Damian mostly sticking to Dan as he had found common ground about protecting family. Bonding over their struggles with living among people again and fighting every instinct to fight to survive. Happy to perch on his shoulders and watch the world from above, the visual makes Duke laugh a little as he watches Damian direct Dan through town in mumbles. They just walk around and see the sights.

Barbra goes back to Nasty Burger every day to see if she can find her older self again, wishing to talk for a while. She also notices her father no longer has his wedding ring. She rolls herself over when they come in again, smiling and taking the hand of her father. The old man looks at her and his eyes brighten, overjoyed she decided to approach them. The wedding ring he lost years ago placed in his hand to keep that reminder of love in his life. Even if he forgets what it was in the first place.

The elder ginger women cries a little seeing the ring replaced, even if not from their world originally. They sit for a while talking about old memories, the hollow happiness that the old man gets worth more than 1000 surgeries to keep him alive to see another day. The hour she spends talking to the pair making her cry once it is over. Maddie comes in knowing when she would be and gently pulls Barbra away to join her family.

The day of Danny’s living birthday comes around on the last day of their time in Amity Park. The many rouges who the Fenton’s face in friendly banter bringing many gifts no human could ever find or replace within their lifetime. Bruce has something everyone can give collectively, a very expensive and scientific telescope few people can use. The squeal of absolute delight from Danny makes everyone deaf for a moment, his hug after almost crushing their bones.

Dan keeps his brother from killing them, Damian glad to be perch on Dan’s shoulder and out of hugging range seeing how winded everyone is after. Jack smiles and gets the cake ready and Danny gushes over his new telescope, speaking nonsense to everyone present as he rambles.

“I can make a portal here from Gotham as a thank you if you want!” “Okay going to move onto cake now son.” “But-“ “Cake. Thank you lists comes later.” Jack herds his giddy child to the table to blow out the candles, expecting the cake to freeze as Danny’s energy gets out of hand. Everyone pauses for a moment and Jack pulls off the plastic cover, chuckling softly.

The exquisite fudge and chocolate cake is enjoyed by everyone at the party, the ghosts loving every bite they have and Lunch Lady asking for the recipe so she can make some for Lunch Box. The little ghost is in school for the day and couldn’t make it. Alfred also picks up the recipe for lavage later down the line.

“You guys are the best cousins and uncles ever. I especially like being up so high on Phantom’s shoulder’s.” “Name is Dan squirt, get a right.” “No. I will now call you… hm I don’t know?” Dan chuckles, Damian usually comes up with something quickly, but he can’t think of a descriptive term to use. “How does best bud sound?” “… Yes I like that. Best buds.” “Best buds.” The share a fist bump, Bruce can only laugh and be glad Damian has found a friend who is willing to talk to about his problems.

The others have a similar smile on their face as they talk with select people. Dick and Tim floating among the ghosts as they talk with Ember and Skulker about life. Cass and Steph are talking with the few kids of the room, Ellie snuggling in Cass’ lap like she owns it. Jason has himself a quiet corner to read in as he talks with Ghost Writer about old writers. Alfred is sharing a whiskey with his old friends who died in war and the ghost of time, Clockwork happy to warn the butler about the dangers that could kill his family. Barbra is talking computer nonsense with Jazz and Technus, relaxing for the first time in a while.

Bruce takes the beer his brother offers and watches everyone with a sad smile, “Hey Jack… Did dad ever come back? I’ve always hoped he would. You know if something inside him just wanted to see me one last time…” Jack smiles sadly and hugs his brother close, his expression all Bruce needs to know his hopes will never be answered in this life. He hugs back and sighs softly. “Guy can hope huh?” “I wish we could see him Bruce, he just never had the pull to stick around long enough.”

The departure the next morning is a sad one, everyone wishing they could stay longer to get to know their cousins, aunts and uncle better. The ghosts stick around to wave goodbye to the Wayne family, Dan flying beside Damian’s window and creating a portal to the Gotham airspace for them.

Danny is allowed to create a natural to portal Gotham once his exams are over and they find a good site for it be located at. The bat cave ends up the best candidate so they can always visit each other and call for help when in trouble. The great healing abilities of the Yetis have also been noted with everyone on board to learn what practices they can for on-the-field healing.

A good trip all round.

Writing prompt 144:

Bruce is a born and raised Amity Park boy, along side his father. Both used to the time warping the place has.

They leave for Gotham to help with sick extended family when he appears 6 in age, mainting contact with his brother and eventual family. Though he doesn't share his origins with his kids.

Danny's 20th birthday prompts Maddie to suggest the kids meeting each other to celebrate. Bruce is happy for the idea and decides to make a week of showing his family the place he grew up in and all its quirks.

[a-hypnos-v]

Re-imagining of Creepypasta AU/Concept idea.

So! So! Thanks for reading- and I’m not as well-versed in creepypasta lore as I once was, but! I’ve got an idea, sure it might’ve already been done but: might as well get the idea out there.

So: a bunch of the og characters (Tobi, Jeff, Clockwork, Jack, Ben etc) and instead of…becoming murders? They get caught and sent to a sanatorium/therapy institute for teens since their not of age of criminal responsibility (I don’t know much about that stuff, sorry) and they’re all less edgy in this version I guess, re-writes of the og backstories, less bat-shit insane I guess?

They all need to spend time with each other (unwillingly) and stuff for therapy and socializing reasons when (probably) Tobi/Jack, starts trauma-dumping about all the weird slender-man shit they saw. And in this au, everyone has ties to slender. And they go on this huge paranormal conspiracy since they all went insane and killed (almost) all their family (I’ll get into that maybe another time) they were basically being semi-possessed by slender after kind encountering him in the woods.

also a bunch of other stuff I’m brainstorming as I write this: The institution they go to is one of the actually good ones instead of the crappy abusive ones. Lou, Jeff’s brother survives but doesn’t become a murderer or targeted by slender man, just has some issues with the whole “my brother tried to murder me in my sleep” but he still really cares about him.

X-virus is in this, him and Tobi meet after the authorities find out that that… well they’re basically the only family each other has anymore. Cody isn’t a murderer, and is actually sane, just has psychopathy and empathy issues to work out. His dad died in a weird lab accident and he got injured during it: and he’s also the science/maths guy of the group, like the idea, got no idea how to execute it.

Jack had a girlfriend relationship thing going on, the girl and him got caught up in a cult. He looks normal at the start of the story, also he has glasses- not really that important but the side effects of the cult stuff they did make his eyes fill up with dried blood and turn black, turn his skin blue takes place after the paranormal investigation stuff. Jeff is a severe insomniac and Somniphobic, this happens after re-accruing slender man encounters, I mean it is fucking CONSTANT, slendy’s been stalking the poor fuck since he’s been a kid. when slender can’t reach him in real life he haunts his dreams. Came up with this from the “Go to sleep” motif.

Sally is also here, she kept getting bullied by kids in other institutions so she got sent here to avoid that. Ya know cus, why would teenagers with issues even target a trauma-ridden 7 year old? Like non of them have p#dophilic issues so it was seen as the best option, also she’s not affected by all the slender man hocus pocus. I want Ben to be in this but I have no idea how to do that- also I’m not sure if I should make the proxies (masky, hoodie) part of the group or ‘traitors’ or something. Or maybe their the doctors??? Since their adults??? I thiiink?

also Jane is only lightly mentioned, she”s like a re-accruing mentioned character no one sees, just a random ex of Jeff. Their backstories kinda clash so sorry about that. Also slender man and zalgo are kinda merged together in this version, mostly slender man but there’s a bit of zalgo mixed in for flavor.

Where did all these ideas come from? No idea! Feel free to tell me what you think trough comments, or reblogs! Not sure if I’d be able to write all of this but if any of you want to: go ahead and chat me up!

[phasmophobie]

“you are remarkably well-behaved tonight, what have you been up to?”

 ⠀ A sound close to a throaty scream erupted from deep within the brunette man. Even though he had no reason to be scared of the other man height-wise, the blank almost nonchalant stare alone was enough to make everyone feel uneasy. In this case, Pavel just hadn't heard Levi visit him — or appear out of thin air. Hurriedly, Pavel closed the books in an almost comical manner, as if he had been caught in a far more entertaining and reprehensible situation. "N–nothing.", he lied. Badly. Anxiously, he watched his Captain step closer and examine the titles of the books, which didn't excite him as much as Pavel would have enjoyed to see. The brunette wouldn't say though that there was anything in the world that caused strong emotions in his Captain like some well brewed tea or a cleansed house — or anything that came close to some. Also, strong and emotional in particular wasn't something one could put together regarding Levi. The captain of the Survey Corps seemingly wasn't one to be impressed by the interests of others. "So, you just wasted time with fiction?", he remarked.  ⠀ Pavel sighed deeply, almost heavy hearted. "It's no fiction", he claimed. "It's science."  ⠀ He watched his Captain arch his dark brow upwards.  ⠀ "Sort of.", Pavel added.  ⠀ "Ghosts are hardly believable. You should train and learn about what really matters.", Levi criticized. "We've got dangers at hand that need your attention. Death is all around us, how about you concentrate on the living for a change?"  ⠀ Slowly, Pavel's shoulders sank and his gaze dropped onto the books he had found within abandoned houses and huts outside the walls. A place, haunted by more than mere ghosts of those long gone. Pavel never pretended to be made for this position he was in. He was quiet, lonesome and prefered to get stuck on pages over pages about paranormal beings — except the supernatural ones right in front of their mostly protecting walls. As a child of a scientist, he could have led a laid-back life in prosperity or if he had wanted to, as part of the Military Police. But, as a matter of fact, Viktor wasn't too fond of his son, who never voiced any interest in the works of his father. Once Pavel was old enough, Viktor stopped trying to convince his eldest son and started acting like he didn't exist in the first place. Now the brunette was stuck with the Survey Corps, which heavily relied on working as a team, trusting each other and commitment to the cause. Commitment scared Pavel more than the cruelty and gruesomeness behind these walls. He was used to disappointing his father, but not an entire team that decimated itself with every investigation outside Rose. Pavel didn't need to call himself a coward, everyone else made sure to remind him — and the way Levi looked at him, it wasn't impossible that he did too.  ⠀ Despite being inquisitive regarding paranormality and somewhat withdrawn, Pavel usually caused trouble whenever he decided to spend time with his crewmates. Not in a matter of mischievous intentions, but due to clumsy social skills. Pavel wasn't stupid, that much was clear to anyone who spend some time with him, but he sure as hell acted that way when pressured. A nervous, stuttering mess, unsure of what to do and how to cope with stressful situations. That either led to miscommunication or faulty performances. Give him a book and he wouldn't cause further trouble. It was a miracle that he survived as long as he did.  ⠀ Levi was right though. He did focus on the dead way too much. Maybe it was some sort of comfort he tried to attain. Knowing that humanity was doomed wasn't quite as uplifting as imagining that there was life after death. Something to yearn for. It wouldn't help at being less afraid while staring into huge eyes and being swallowed whole by a Titan, yet Pavel prefered to try. What else was there to hope for, if not for a better life after the terror?

[starsinshadows]

knowseverythingaboutyou​:

“So what’s he call himself, lucky?” She wasn’t sure that she fully believed Murdock — whichever one he was, Natasha hadn’t finished introducing her to the whole team — but hey, whatever got the job done. And if he was that good, hopefully they could get this all sorted out before Maria had to move. Or have an exorcism. Considering she was still a little on the fence about the house being haunted, that seemed extreme. The ultimate last resort.

“I’m not sure that I’m in the market to show off my house for a party, but.” Maria shrugged. Tony wasn’t wrong about the gothic vibes. Every once in awhile, she got the urge to grab her most Wednesday Addams outfit and wander around with a candle in the middle of the night. She never did it, of course — there wasn’t much chance of anyone seeing in the first place. Her neighbours were home about as often as she was, and they weren’t exactly the most observant. Probably for the best tonight. She wasn’t sure how to explain this group to the older couple. “I appreciate the spin. Maybe you can use it for one of your,” she waved her hand around. “Launches? Premieres?” She didn’t get much use out of it, and it did have that massive dining room. Perfect for parties.

“Huh.” Maria wondered if she should be playing more or less phones games than she currently was. Well, it wasn’t like the money went to her, just the developers of the games. It was probably better for her time management that she didn’t. “Science is a game, don’t you think? Just a different one than… you know, an actual board game.” How would Tony do at Candyland? She’d have to ask Nat. If anyone knew, it would be her. “So it’s for the chance for fame if you can prove that it’s all real?” Maria asked, teasing him. It was obvious that he really did want to help people, but the joke was right there after he talked about how much phone games were worth.

“Was kind of hoping that Natasha was yanking my leg when she said that I’d be going around with you.” Maria sighed, letting Tony fit her with the weird camera rig. She’d argue, but Nat would probably pack everyone up and leave. And now that Maria had the team there, she wasn’t sure that she wanted them to go before they did their investigation. Even though she didn’t really believe in ghosts. “It’s not going to be Barnes, is it? I only ask because if it’s following me and he attracts them, well —” she shrugged. “Hundred percent chance you get something but also that we might be hit in the head by something.”

Barnes’ ability to get pissed off ghosts to track him down was apparently as legendary as Natasha and Clint had made it seem. “Should I be offended that you’re calling my house old and creepy?” She poked at the camera bits still scattered on the table. “And you’ll be doing your whole Q gig from here, I assume, or can we call you part of the buddy system?”

    The shrug he gave Maria at her question about Murdock would hopefully get the idea across that he really had no clue whatsoever what Murdock considered it because the guy was great at evasion and it was hard to get him alone long enough to get any real answers out of him. That, and Tony had been determined to just figure it out and then confront the guy once he had facts to back it up. Right then, it was just a lot of suspicions and questions that he wasn’t given answers to when he’d asked before.     “I’ll let Rogers know you’re open to showing off the house as long as you’re not the one who has to show anything off,” he paraphrased for her, since that was absolutely what he got from her answer and who knew? Maria was a friend of Romanoff’s, so maybe they’d want to do something here. “Depends on the science. This is more of a game to me right now, but if it makes people feel better that we come in and bang around in their houses, then I’m willing. If I somehow get something conclusive enough to change everyone’s minds about how real it is, even better. You're not really talking anyone out of partnering you with Barnes, either, when you put it like that."     Confirmation that she was, indeed, partnered with the guy who pissed spirits off just by walking in the door? Perhaps. "You'll be fine. If he's there, whatever weird shit you've got in here won't care about you as much," he reassured, as much as that could be considered reassuring. Bucky hadn't arrived yet, but he tended not to do set-up in case he pissed something off before they had equipment to catch it. They'd learned their lesson, and Tony was still trying to figure that problem out, as well.     "I'm staying here where I can watch everything, which makes me everyone's buddy," he pointed out, smirking a little at that. He'd go if Rogers really needed it, but the last few times, he hadn't gotten anything and he'd had to be called back to the tech center anyway because equipment was acting funny. Maybe someday.

[redrobin-detective]

Delayed Mourning

Going Angst Day 5: Death

_________________________________________

It was 3pm when there was a knock on Maddie Fenton’s door. She huffed and set down the meal she’d been working on. Of course the one day she had time to pre-plan a nice meal from her family was the day she’d get interrupted. 

“Yes? May I help you?” Maddie asked, opening the door. She had expected a salesman. Possibly even a neighbor coming to complain, again, about the noise or the smells that came from Fentonworks. Instead she found a small woman who couldn’t have been much taller than 5 ft with dark brown hair tied up in a tight bun. She was wearing a sharp white shirt and suit jacket with a matching white skirt.

“Mrs. Fenton, hello,” the woman gave a polite little head nod. “I’m from the the Government Institute of Interdimensional Warfare though I hear the locals like to call us the Guys in White.” She said with a knowing smiling, “of course, as you know, it’s not only the guys who are interested in ghosts. May I come in?”

“Oh yes, hello,” Maddie blinked, opening the door to let the agent in. The petite woman stepped inside, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor. Her small frame, her oversized glasses and soft nature seemed so at odds with the meatheads Maddie usually found in the GIW. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Perhaps,” the agent demurred. “It’s more there was something I wanted to inform you of. If you’re not too busy, may we sit down and talk? Your husband and children are not home.” Maddie thought that last statement was a bit odd, framed as a statement of fact rather than an inquiry but moved on. 

“Yes, Jack’s out of town visiting a relative and my kids won’t be back for a little while,” Maddie said. “Let me just finish putting this roast together, I’m almost done. Can I get you anything? Water? Tea?”

“No, thank you,” The woman said quietly. “And please, continue while you’re doing. Let me give you a little bit of background.” The agent adjusted her large glasses with her tiny hands. “Let me introduce myself, you may call me Agent S. I work primarily out of Washington for the Institute but sometimes I am deployed on site for... special cases. And, as I’m sure you’re aware, your town is very special.”

“Now, as you may have noticed, I am not particularly built like the normal Institute agents you have probably come across. That is because I do not work in the field but behind the scene in Investigations. My job is study the history and happenings of hauntings and spectral entities.”

“Oh that sounds fascinating,” Maddie beamed as she finished with her final preps and put the roast in the over. She looked over her shoulder at Agent S while she washed her hands. “Jack and I dabble a bit in history and folklore but we’re more versed in the hard sciences of ghosts.”

“Yes, I’ve read some of your papers, you and your husband truly are the frontrunners in the field,” Agent S nodded. Maddie preened at the praise and sat down, delighted to have a sophisticated conversation with someone in her field who she wasn’t married to. If more of those GIW agents were like Agent S then Maddie would get along a lot better with them. “So, Maddie, may I call you Maddie? What date and time did your portal start working?”

“It was August 28th,” Maddie said proudly. “It didn’t work at first when we first plugged it in. I’m afraid I don’t have an exact time it started up as we weren’t here. Jack was convinced one of the electrical conduction pieces wasn’t fully connected and was preventing ectoplasmic distribution. We ended up driving 4 hours to Springfield and back for some specialty parts only to find the portal working when we returned.”

“I can help you there,” Agent S said with a soft smile reaching into her white briefcase and pulling out several thick folders. She laid them out gently on the table and Maddie was unnerved by some of the information: schematics of Fentonworks, past and present financial records, transcripts of public statements. Her shoulders tensed when she saw Jazz and Danny’s names on some of the files. “Toll camera captured your vehicle on the Jane Addams Memorial Tollway at exactly 1:26pm on August 28th. We can confirm you and your husband’s vehicle traveled to Springfield and back via video feeds and credit card statements at 10:45pm that same day and were therefore out of the city all day.”

Maddie suddenly felt very trapped by the woman’s sharp grey eyes as she plucked a piece of paper and pressed it towards Maddie. 

“At 3:18pm, the majority of the residential power in town went out for a period of 2 and a half hours. The cause was determined to be from a massive power surge that blew out the transformer. You may recall being blamed for this outage given your history with previous outages but the news that you were out of town settled that argument. However, I was not convinced.” She pulled out another piece of paper and Maddie bristled to see it was a Casper High attendance sheet.

“Your daughter, Jasmine was at her final summer cram session which ran from 2pm until 5pm. I spoke to her tutors and she never left the whole time and, in fact, stayed late to help a fellow student work through her study materials. But what about your son?” Agent S asked with with a curious smile but her eyes belied the fact that she had her own answers. 

“How dare you spy on my family, on my children,” Maddie hissed, crumpling one of the papers in her fist. “Get out of my house, I will sue the pants off of your organization for this invasion of privacy! Get out!”

“Now Maddie, don’t you want to know how your son started up your Portal?” Agent S asked coyly, that drew Maddie up short. Danny? No, he couldn’t have possibly. He had no interest in their work, in fact, now that she thought about it, Danny had been sick that day. Agent S pulled out a set of blueprints for the Fenton Portal. Some small component inside the Portal was circled.

“You left at approximately 1pm and your daughter presumably left not long after. Phone records indicate Daniel called both Tucker Foley and Samantha Manson. Your neighbor, Mrs. Benson, saw them coming into your house not long after but before the 3pm power outage which I was able to triangulate did in fact originate from your home.” Agent S tapped the circled part of the inner portal mechanisms. “Now did you happen to push the on button in the Portal before plugging it in?”

“On button?” Maddie asked with a dry mouth, overwhelmed by the amount of information being thrown her way. All she could think about was how Danny hadn’t seemed sick when they’d left that afternoon but had looked awful when they returned. Would he have really gone downstairs and messed with the Portal? Had he gotten hurt? Been contaminated down there? Images of Vlad’s sickly visage after his accident flowed through her head. She should have paid more attention but she’d been so excited about the Portal working...

“It’s right here in the blueprints you submitted to the patent office, buried under dozens of other hardware bits. Its small, such a little thing compared to all the moving parts required to open up a dimensional portal. Daniel was a bright boy, his middle school records prove it. A bright mind, friends to impress, no parents around to chastise him... I think you can see where I’m going with this.”

“No, no,” Maddie said, burying her hands in her hair. “No, I’m not. You’re saying -what? - that my teenage son turned on the Portal when we were gone? No, my Danny wouldn’t lie to me about that... Why wouldn’t he say anything?”

“I don’t blame him for not mentioned in because, if my hunch is correct, he was inside the Portal when it turned on, killing him instantly,” Agent S said with a carefully neutral face. “I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but I’m afraid this haunting has gone on long enough.”

“My child is alive!” Maddie screeched, standing up in her chair. “Danny is alive and healthy and he is not a ghost!”

“I will admit the evidence of how he died is circumstantial but the fact that Danny Fenton is deceased is not.” Maddie fell back into her chair as he legs gave out underneath her. 

She watched the agent put paper after paper in front of her and detailed all sorts of data about her son that Maddie, who lived in the same house as him, had missed. Unusually high ectosignatures picked up by GIW (and their own) detectors, Danny being spotted in some form before most ghost attacks, faked signatures of hers getting him out of nurses’ visits. Maddie barely felt alive herself as she stared at a red light camera photo of her baby sitting atop a light post late, late at night. His eyes were a toxic green color.

“I know this must be distressing as a mother but your child never left that basement, never attended high school and will never achieve his dream of working for NASA.” Agent S said with carefully measured sympathy as she gathered up her papers and put them back in her case. “But you are a brilliant scientist, unlike your husband, you should be able to look past your emotions and see that your child is gone and the ghost he left behind is dangerous.”

“My husband?” Maddie asked blankly, running a finger down Danny’s unnatural photograph.

“I approached Jack two days ago, mistakenly believing he would be the most understanding of you both. He refused to believe the evidence and was, in fact, going to warn your son’s ghost that we planned on taking him. He is safe but he presently being held at one of our facilities until the capture is complete.” Maddie should feel outraged at her husband’s kidnapping but all she could think about was the fact that her son was dead, dead, dead, killed by her own invention over a year ago and she never noticed. How could she not have noticed?

“Daniel’s ghost is extraordinary, not only able to pass as human so accurately for so long but immensely powerful. We need to make sure he doesn’t harm anyone else. Think of his friends who are probably being forced to aid him and keep his death quiet. Think of your husband, your daughter, living in the same house as a dangerous ghost.” Agent S dropped some of her professionalism and plucked the photo of Danny out of Maddie’s hands and replaced it with her own tiny hand. 

“I know this is impossible thing to ask but I must do it anyway, will you help me capture what remains of Danny? There is a chance with his charade exposed, he will be able to move on and so will you. You have been wronged, Maddie. You have been denied the right to process and grieve your child by his own ghost. But a delayed mourning is better than none. Danny’s death is a tragedy but please don’t let it become someone else’s.”

“Maybe he’s not-” Maddie’s breath hitched, “he’s never shown any signs of aggression. Jasmine spoke of benevolent spirits... maybe-” Agent S sighed roughly and retracted her hand to grab another photo from her case. Maddie was surprised when she held up a picture of Phantom. 

“Ignore the glow,” Agent S instructed. “Change his white hair to black, his green eyes to blue. Think of how often Phantom is spotted in your neighborhood, around Casper High. Remember how he always has his hands on your technology,” the agent frowned. “Think of how he grins when he sees you, like he knows something you don’t. Like it all just a big joke you’re not a part of.” Maddie felt like she’d been slapped.

“Your son is dead,” Agent S said more forcefully, throwing the picture of Phantom next to the spooky one of Danny. “And his ghost has taken his place, taunting you, stealing energy from your family, from the portal that killed him. Phantom’s power is increasing too rapidly and soon we won’t be able to contain him. It’s why I was brought in to identify his haunt so that he could be stopped before anyone else died.”

“I will state this plainly, I am giving you the chance to participate in putting your child to rest but you are not required for this operation. If you refuse, you will be confined with your husband until Phantom is taken down. Do not let this monster with your son’s face trick you any more. So I ask again, Maddie Fenton, will you help us stop Phantom from making a mockery of your son’s memory?”

XxX

“Mom! Jazz! I’m home!” Danny announced, kicking off his shoes and grabbing a paper out of his backpack as he walked into the kitchen with a grin. “And I have a present! Jazz’s tutoring paid off, look at this A I got on my history test! Well A- but a solid A-!” 

“Oh... that’s great,” Mom muttered quietly. She was sitting at the kitchen table, not cooking or tinkering with some gadget. Just sitting there quietly, twiddling her thumbs and not looking at him.

“Is everyone okay?” Danny asked, dropping his bag on the floor and walking over to his mother. “I saw Jazz at school but is Dad okay?”

“No, everything is not okay,” she said turning and looking at him with tear-filled eyes. “Someone died, someone I love dearly and I’m not ready to let them go,” she sniffed and wiped at her eyes. “But they've been gone for a long time, even if I’m just hearing about it now. I’m upset but it’s better to know and be grieve than to go on in ignorance, living a lie.”

Danny was about to ask who had died when something was jammed into his neck and he was shocked within an inch of his half life. His body spasmed to escape but his mother was gripping his arm to hold him in place. He transformed unconsciously but that only made it worse. He fell to the floor, ectoplasm leaking off his form as he could barely hold himself together.

“Mom,” he croaked, reaching for her despite everything. She stomped on his hand which was practically goo from such a vicious, destabilizing ectoplasmic shock.

“Don’t you ever call me that,” she hissed through angry tears. “I didn’t want to believe it but the proof is right in front of me you horrible, selfish ghost.” She kicked him in the side and half of him ended up on her boot. “How dare you, how dare you impersonate my son! How dare you string me along all this time, make me look like a fool who had to told that her own child was dead! I bet you just laughed and laughed at our stupid, human ignorance of what your were!”

“‘lease,” he begged through the ectoplasm in his mouth. “I’m still your....”

“My son is dead and he has been for a while,” Mom said, throwing the ecto-taser away from her. Danny vaguely heard the door being kicked in and in his rapidly diminishing vision, he saw black boots and white suits. “With you gone, I can finally come to terms with it and not be tormented by an inadequate replacement.” She turned her back to him. “Get that filth out of my house, I never want to see it again.”

“Of course,” a quiet feminine voice said as his goopy arms were restrained with ghost proof cuffs. “I know this is hard, Maddie but you made the right choice for your family and Danny’s memory. Jack will returned to you within the hour. I spoke to my superiors, for your cooperation, the Institute will take care of declaring Danny dead as well as covering costs for your boy to be laid to rest, the first step in moving on.”

“No, the first step will be removing that duplicitous monster from my home. It’s stolen enough of my baby’s life. Now please leave, I have - I have a funeral to plan.”

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

HASO “The Best Outcome.”

Just wrapping up a few loose ends from the past few months stories. I hope you all like it. And feel free to give me some ideas on what you want to see, or who you want to see more of. I will try to do my best :) 

Breaking News tonight from the Apollo 11 memorial landing site as Admiral Adam Vr and Captains Warren Richarards and Mary Chavez were rescued  from the Pacific Ocean following a journey that was supposed to be historical, turned harrowing. Amy Grey comes to us this morning with the story.

Thank you Julie, it was only a week ago here on the historic Cape Canaveral launch site, that the reconstructed Saturn V rocket was launched by the UNSC International Space and Aeronautics Division on the two thousand and fifty first anniversary of the original Apollo 11 mission. On board The reconstructed rocket were astronauts Fleet Admiral Adam Vir head of the UNSC deep space exploration division, Captain Warren Richards five year veteran and historical aeronautics expert, and Mary Chavez six year shuttle pilot veteran, and communications specialist. 

The reconstructed Saturn V rocket took off thirty minutes behind schedule at 10:03 GMTJuly 16 after delays attributed to engineering standbys. However, reports by UNSC investigation early this morning indicate that the delays were called for by engineering head Jade Clein who noticed something strange during her final checks of the Saturn V recreated rocket. In an interview early today, flight director, Aaliyah Seif of the Apollo re-creation mission informed outlets that there was evidence of attempted tampering on the hull of the Saturn V rocket. The tampering case in the shape of these small silver tape strips covering loosened bolts along one of the Saturn V side panels. Engineers stated that the tape was not heat resistant and would have burned off in time to rattle the bolts loose and, likely, cause a devastating spin that would destroy the rocket.

While this attempted tampering was thwarted, the mission would only become more dire. A sudden and shocking report by Mericanda News 5 showed an uncut image of an unknown alien hybrid woman claiming that the UN President had ordered th attempted assassination of Admiral Vir, in conjuncton with an audio recording by Admiral Colter Massie, Head of the Galactic intelligence division an known isolationist, that admitted to the attempted assasination of Admiral Vir, and the acquisition of twenty thunderhawks which were used to harry the Satern V on it’s way to the moon. Admiral Kelly, long time friend of Admiral Vir, corroborated the story, saying she caught General Massie just after he ordered the deployment of the twenty thunderhawks. During their conversion he attempted to kill her before being detained by two members of Admiral Vir’s crew, and was later seen being escorted into custody by Military Police.

Indeed footage has been captured from the hull of the Saturn V showing approximately twenty thunderhawks attempting to destroy the rocket while Rundi remote piloted drones and an unknown group of what appear to be racing jets, fought back to delay the attack while word was sent to the UNSC to deploy F-90 darkfire pilots to assist. This all after communications between Houston and the rocket were sabotaged shortly after leaving orbit. The  F-90 darkfire pilots were able to arrive on time to rescue the rocket, though a hole was reportedly torn in the hull sucking Admiral Vir out into space, though he was later recovered and returned to his ship without any injuries. Patch teams were then able to repair the torn hull and the astronauts completed their mission landing to crowds on the moon and returning to earth on time on time landing in the Pacific ocean only nine miles away from the waiting ship.

All three astronauts were recovered and are reported to be in good health. 

The investigation into the UN president’s involvement is still ongoing at this time, however preliminary reports from the Global Bureau of Investigation suggest evidence is both staggering and damning to the current UN president, who earlier today, attempted to cut all ties to the sabotage efforts saying she was framed. Political experts report that, even assuming her innocence, she will likely not last to the end of her term.

International News Network was able to interview Admiral Vir shortly after his landing while still on board the rescuing ship UNSS Victory.

Here is what the Admiral had to say.

“I find it…. Really very disheartening that someone we all trusted, and someone that we all should have looked up to could do something like this. It really is a heinous demonstration of what political corruption can lead people to do.”

“And how do you feel, personally about all of this.”

“Personally, I…. well to be honest I am hurt and appalled. Not to mention that I fear for the safety of my family and my friends. Every day I wonder if my involvement with them is going to get someone I love killed…. The thought haunts me, but I hope after all of this is over I… and all of us can breathe a little easier.”

“Were you scared?”

“I don’t think that even needs to be a question. Of course I was scared, getting sucked out of your spaceship isn’t ideal.”

“What do you hope will happen now?”

“I hope that justice can be upheld  to those who deserve it.”

“What do you have to say to the UN president.”

…

“I have nothing to say. Wouldn’t want to waste the air.

****

What followed would be one of the largest scandals in recent political history. At some point an unknown number of classified government documents was leaked onto the internet, and after that it was all over for the Presidency. Thousands of enterprising humans, and aliens alike, viewed the documents to discover all the underhanded and dirty things which had been going on in the UN governmental body over the past few years. Forensic accounting experts (mostly Tesrtaki) uncovered plenty of fiscal tampering  which shed light on plenty of isolationist related projects and bank accounts. There was even evidence that they had something to do with the original assassination attempt against Admiral Vir so many months ago. The drama had even managed to capture the attention of Rundi political experts and Vrul computer science geniuses, and together they unearthed a world of unfathomable, but not unexpected corruption. The process to remove the UN president from office was probably one of the fastest movements of human government ever seen by UN congressional leaders, who were likely trying their very best tro distance themselves from association with the president, who despite not being the only one involved, had become the political scapegoat for everyone else that had a supposed link with isolationism.

Even the VP fell under suspicion and was watched closely for the rest of his term.

Admiral Massie and the UN President were placed under arrest and set up for court dates in the nearing future, though everyone saw a long and arduous litigation process ahead. Even Ramirez’s family had filed for damages against the government after the news came to light confirming that their son had been shot as collateral in one of the UN presidents plans to assassinate Admiral Vir. They settled out of court to the tune of an unknown, but impressive sum of money.

No one really knew how much, but a couple months later Ramirez’s younger sister was seen training at one of the most prestigious olympic academies on earth.

Ramirez himself was suddenly able to afford housing on the moon in a condo just next door to his best friend, though no one else inquired further.

The Rundi chairwoman came forward with her own investigation admitting to being suspicious for a long time though she feared accusations without proper proof. Admiral Vir was seen having lunch with her not so many months after the events took place, suggesting that the trust between the two of them had not been completely dissolved. With much of the isolationist element gone from government, public policy began to lean heavily towards integration with the alliance. The occasional isolationist demonstration or protest was held, but none of them managed to gain traction.

Admiral Vir was finding himself more important than ever, though it was to his chagrin that his ship was grounded for the intervening months while the investigation continued.

No one was entirely sure what the future held.

***

Admiral Vir stepped into Admiral Kelly’s office. The last time he had actually visited her here had been over a few years ago before his promotion to captain of the Harbinger. It seemed so distant now, and he never expected to walk into her office with a star on his shoulder. She stood as he entered, and the two of them shook hands, ignoring all the stuffy formalities that usually come with the meeting of two military officers.

The wall behind her was decorated with a myriad of metals and awards she had received over her career, and he couldn't help but note the slight tinge of grey he could see forming in her hair. He knew that feeling, he was going prematurely white much to his chagrin. She stood and the two of them shook hands.

“Vir.”

“Kelly.”

She motioned him to sit and he sat sighing lightly as he had been on his feet all day consulting with political figures and other members of the UNSC.

“A strange couple months wouldn’t you say.”

“Tell me about it.”{

Kelly reached under her desk and withdrew an amber bottle which she placed between them, “I always forget; Do you drink?”

“On occasion.”

“Well consider this an occasion.” She said popping off the top and pouring two glasses for them. She handed his across the desk and he leaned back in his seat cupping the cool glass in both hands.

She swirled the amber liquid around in her glass, “So what are your plans after all this.”

He took a sip of water warmed by the burning liquid, “Hoping things will go back to normal and I can go back to traveling the galaxy.”

Kelly grunted, “A simple man with simple motivations.”

He laughed , “Sometimes I think a stupid man with simple motivations.”

She chuckled then grew serious, “A lot of people make the mistake of assuming simple people don’[t have the intelligence to match. Some people assume that trusting means gullible means dumb. Just because we are trusting and expect others to do the right thing is not necessarily a fault. I believe there is a kind of beauty in assuming the fundamental goodness of humanity.”

\Admiral Vir shook his head, “How can you after seeing what we have seen.”

“How can you not?” She shrugged, “We always knew that politicians were corrupt, but think about everything else we have seen.”

Admiral Vir nodded slowly, “The enthusiasm for the Apollo 11 recreation mission, the people who flew up to help us. All of those people who went digging through years of information just to uncover the truth.”

SHe raised her glass, “Precisely. Goodness in humanity is all around us, but we tend to overlook the good in favor of the bad.” She placed her hat on the desk and sighed, “It is up to good people to keep their goodness going even when it might seem easier to give into the bad. I I have and will always believe in the fundamental good of humanity. Some may call it naeve, or even stupid. Others have said I have a romanticized view of a species that is fundamentally broken.” She turned her head to look out the window a contemplative expression on her face before turning back to look at Adam.

“You understand me, I think.”

He nodded slowly.

“People need to be believed in. You tell someone for long enough that they are fundamentally bad at their core and they will begin to believe you. For thousands of years pessimists have gotten it into our heads that we are no better than animals, worse even since animals don’t fight in wars. But I believe that is wrong, I have seen people, I have met people, and I have interacted with people who prove to me that humanity cannot just be fundamentally bad or else these people wouldn’t exist.” She tapped her nails against the glass, “I think it is easier to corrupt purity than wash away a stain,”

He listened quietly as she continued.

“Humans are born good, Adam, and life stains us. We aren’t born stained while some of us are wiped clean. “ She shook her head, “Doesn't make sense to me.” She caught him with a look pinning him to the spot with her intense stare, “People like you convince me of this every day.”

“Me….”

She held up a hand. “Adam Vir, I am convinced that the best outcome this universe ever had, was when a happy go lucky science fiction freak was lucky enough to be the first man to meet aliens. Any other way things would have gone horribly wrong.” She leaned across her desk, “The universe needs men and women like you, and not only that but the universe needs people who are going to support men and women like you.” She sat back, “Which is why I have made a decision.”

He raised an eyebrow in curiosity not entirely sure where this could be going.

She smiled, “I have decided to run for President.”

He nearly spit his mouthful of expensive scotch onto the table but managed to choke it mostly down.

Eyes wide he set his glass down, “Are you serious.”

She smiled, “Seriously serious.”

“Well shit, you have my vote for sure.” He raised his glass to her, “I couldn’t think of a better outcome.”

[shirtlesssammy]

3x14: Long-Distance Call

Guys! We have a special surprise next week!! (Hint: We finally get to recap the gay angel episodes again!) Until then, enjoy our last episode for season 3...

Then:

Sam’s saving his brother no matter what

Now:

On a stormy night, a man drinks alone, contemplating life. His phone rings. It’s Linda. Ben tells her he can’t. “My wife.” He hangs up the phone. It rings again. Linda pleads with him. She loves him. He hangs up again. The phone rings AGAIN. He slams it down repeatedly and tears it from the wall. IT RINGS AGAIN! Damn, Linda, you are persistent. To stop the ringing, Ben pulls out a gun and shoots himself. 

Dean tells Sam they have a case. Sam tells Dean that they’re on a case --his. Dean balks at that because they’ve got nothing. Bela’s gone, the Colt’s gone, and Dean would rather work a case they can solve than wallow in his imminent death. 

They head to Milan, Ohio. They head right to the dead guy’s house and interview his widow. She’s a little belligerent but tells them that there was blood everywhere (Oh, that’s why she’s belligerent), favorite scotch was out, and the phone was ripped from the wall. 

Sam asks to look at the crime scene. He goes through the caller ID. Dean asks about strange phone calls. She admits that a couple weeks prior she picked up on a call that Ben was on. It was static. No one was there. 

Research time!

Dean finds out that “Linda” was Ben’s high school sweetheart --and she died in a car accident. On top of that, she was cremated. On top on top of that, Sam discovered that the caller ID on the phone traces back to a phone number used a century ago! (I presume Sam did all that research while he stared out the window.) 

They head to the bowels of the phone company to find fly infested, porn addicted Stewie. I’m going to skip over all this but will laugh at the ad that said “Order now & receive a bone-us gift!” Sam asks Stewie to trace the old-time number. (Natasha: flames on the side of my face at this damn offensive porn franchise.)

Dean pulls out the threat level 5 on the guy and the guy finds some results. There’s different houses that all received a call from that number. 

Sam heads to investigate one house. He poses as a phone company employee. He asks about strange phone activity. The man that answers the phone says that they haven’t had any issues. Sam notices the daughter looking concerned in the background. 

She pops outside to call his bluff. She wants to know why he was asking about the phones. He gives her a little give and she admits that she’s been talking on the phone with her mom --who’s dead. 

Dean checks in with similar stories. Then he gets a call. It’s the static-y voice of John Winchester. 

Later at the motel, Sam wants to know more about Dean’s call. Dean gets all nervous boy about it possibly really being their dad, and what they should do about it. What should Dean say? Sam, ever the pragmatist, suggests, “hello.” It’s funny, but I guess not really because Dean walks out on his brother. 

Dean comes back with a reason why things are happening here. It’s the birthplace of Thomas Edison, and there’s a museum with Edison’s spirit phone. 

They take a tour but the phone doesn’t have any EMF. They’re stumped as to what’s happening. 

Later that night, while Sam slumbers, Dean stays awake to answer his phone. John calls again. He asks Dean how he could sell his soul. “I was looking after Sammy like you told me to.” (Boris screams into the void) John tells Dean that the demon that holds Dean’s contract is in Ohio. 

Meanwhile, the daughter from earlier is IMing a friend when she gets a message from her dead mom. The mom says she wants to see her. The girl is scared but her mom reassures her that she’s with her. Then the girl’s computer flickers out and in the reflection of the monitor, we see the girl and her mom. 

The next morning, Sam returns from interviewing Lanie, the haunted daughter, to find Dean obsessing over demon omens. He shares his intel with Sam. 

Dean’s pretty sure the demon who owns his contract is following him. I pull a Dean voice to say, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” only Dean’s actual line in the show is “My ass is too sweet to let out of sight.” God. This show. Sam tries to tell him that the demon-killing exorcism that John gave Dean over the phone might not be as advertised. Dean’s a believer, though. He’s got faith in John! (Just gonna take a li’l writing break to tear at my hair.) 

Sam heads back to watch over Lanie, but before he goes the Winchesters hold an emotional shouting match. Dean’s ready to stop the demon from coming after him once and for all and thinks that Sam’s reticence is just more head-butting with their (now dead) dad. Sam accuses Dean of having “blind faith” towards his father and I weep. Sam leaves with one request: that Dean stay put until he returns from seeing Lanie. So. That’s going to go well. 

Lanie explains to Sam what’s been going on - that her mom’s requests have extended beyond the normal grieving cemetery visit. We cut to a young kid playing in his room. His toy phone rings. “Hi, mommy!” he chirps. 

Cut to Dean “Single Man Tear” Winchester sitting dramatically by his phone. It rings. 

Lanie reveals to Sam that her mother’s ghost told her to kill herself. When Sam hears the ghost’s catchphrase, “come to me,” he realizes that they’re dealing with something else entirely. 

While Sam experiences revelation, Dean heads off alone following his dad’s orders. f r o w n y f a c e. He ends up in a quiet, suburban home.

Meanwhile, Lanie’s brother Simon (of the toy phone fame) has gone missing. Sam saves him just in time from getting pancaked by a truck. As soon as the kids are buttoned up back home, Sam calls Dean. He tells him that a crocatta is after the people of the town. It’s a scavenger that lures grieving people and eats their souls. It tends to dwell in filth. Dean recalls the flies at the phone company, so Sam heads out on a hunt. (Meanwhile, YES, Dean’s off having his own questionable adventures, setting demon traps in a nearby house.)

Sam calls Dean for backup before assaulting Stewie, the phone guy. “I know what you are and I know how to kill you,” Sam says to the terrified guy. Someone looms behind Sam with a baseball bat. It’s Clark, the manager! He takes out poor soft-headed Sammy. Unfortunately, Clark takes out Stewie too. 

They both wake up tied to chairs inside the building. Clark kills Stewie and then fangs out. He unhinges his jaw and sucks out Stewie’s soul. Yummy? Clark then lays his hands on the phone console...because it’s time to kill Dean!

Elsewhere, in a police locker room, a man’s phone rings. It’s his daughter. “I know who killed me, daddy,” she says. The girl’s voice tells him that her killer is at their house right now. 

Clark explains to Sam that spoofing John Winchester was incredibly easy. All he had to do was find their phone numbers, then John’s old numbers. That let him listen to voicemails, read emails, and easily find the weak links that led him to target Dean. Oof. (Side note: a crocatta would make a seriously amazing private detective in an alternate Supernatural where monsters have better meal restraint.) 

Dean stands ready at the suburban house - ready to kill a demon. The grieving officer heads home, ready to kill his daughter’s murderer. 

Dean’s jug of holy water is met with an angry father with a shotgun, so things start out really well. They quickly devolve into a dirty fist fight. 

Meanwhile, the crocatta continues to villain-monologue at Sam.

Technology, Clark says, makes it so much easier to target people. They’re connected - yet isolated and easier to pick off. (I scoff at this overdone oversimplification of the role of “technology” in society. I hate when people try to pretend the past was trouble-free.) Sam finds his argument weak as well, and punctuates that by breaking free of his bonds and attacking Clark. 

At the house, Dean disarms the grieving cop and reveals the demon trap below the carpet. He starts reading out the exorcism. To his horror, the guy walks right out of the demon trap. When the guy accuses him of killing his daughter, the pieces click for Dean.

Sam kills Clark by jabbing his head into a retail hook suspended off the wall. OH I SEE, this show has always been obsessed with death by hook. >:| 

Dean and the officer avoid killing each other. Instead, they despair in beaten silence together, before we cut to Dean holding a compress to his forehead back at the motel.

Sam and Dean go over the case back in the motel, but talk quickly switches to EMOTIONS. Sam apologizes to Dean. Dean admits he was wrong. “I wanted to believe so badly,” he says. STORY OF HIS LIFE DAMN IT. He admits that he’s terrified of dying. Terrified of Hell. 

Sam gives him sad puppy eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with having hope.”

“Hope doesn’t get you jack squat,” Dean tells him.

For Sad Boys with Poor Coping Mechanisms Science:

Call Me By Your Quote:

I just talked to an 84 year old grandmother who's having phone sex with her husband, who died in Korea! It redefined my understanding of the word 'Necrophilia'

That’s what happens when you mess with the phone company, dillweed

 Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[aks3raao1]

Danganronpa shorts: Luck in a mansion

It was a rather cloudy day when Kazuichi had an idea. A rather strange and disastrous idea, if I, Hajime Hinata, were being honest.

"So, let's go to this mansion! I heard it was scientifically interesting!"

Kazuichi Soda was a rather cowardly man and his defining characteristic was crushing over a woman (and making her uncomfortable with his advances) who would never return his feelings. He was truly hopeless in that regard and prone to fits of jealousy towards anyone who got close to her.

However, he had another side to him. He was also the Ultimate Mechanic and had been accepted by Hope's Peak for that reason. Thus, whenever he came upon a machine, his first instinct was to attempt to open it up and see how it worked. I suppose his fascination with machines in this manner is somewhat similar to Nagito's fascination with hope.

Speaking of which—

"What a hopeful idea, Kazuichi! I am sure the scientific mysteries of the mansion would give rise to hope when solved by someone as great as you!" Nagito Komaeda said, a little starry eyed. Well, that wasn't unexpected since he appeared to try and find hope....virtually everywhere.

However, it was an unspoken thing in our class that we are likelier to be less confident in things after Nagito's over blown praises than more confident unless it benefited the person being praised.

Now, it benefitted Kazuichi.

"Yeah, we all might find something for ourselves too!!! Besides it would be a fun outing!!!"

"Your hope for this outing is so beautiful, Kazuichi, I am sure it will turn out as the Ultimate Outing!" Nagito went on, ecstatic.

"Errr, yeah," Kazuichi looked mildly uncomfortable at that and I swallowed a retort of, "A taste of your own medicine, huh?" and instead said,

"Well, happy outing, you too, then."

"Wait no, you are coming with us as well," Kazuichi said, "No way in hell am I going with this weirdo alone."

I wonder what made him think that I wanted to go alone with two weirdos who were drunk on their respective obsessions. Atleast Kazuichi was less likelier to murder people due to said obsession but still.

"So Hajime is in," Kazuichi said, not waiting for my answer.

"Wait, I never said—"

"—however it appears that you need four people according to the ticket, Kazuichi, so it appears that you need to invite another person," Nagito said, completely ignoring me and looking over the paper Kazuichi was clutching in his hand.

"I do, yes," Kazuichi said, "Miss Sonia would you—"

She pretended as if he did not exist.

Downtrodden Kazuichi went on, "I can kick out Nagito if you want—"

Still no response.

Utterly crushed, Kazuichi turned back to us.

"So.....," his enthusiasm was noticeably less than before, "I...."

"Don't give up hope, Kazuichi! I am sure something would turn up for you at the mansion!"

This caused me to feel like Nagito just wanted to go to that super mysterious mansion. Well, I suppose my own curiosity had been spiked as well due to the ambiguous way Kazuichi framed it.

"You think?" Kazuichi said, looking slightly more hopeful.

"Absolutely! There's hope in that mansion!"

Slightly uncomfortable, Kazuichi scratched his neck.

"Well, I suppose I can't turn this down......but we need another person."

He looked around the place and I sent a silent prayer to the unfortunate person who would grab his eye.

"Hey, Fuyuhiko—!"

Now I felt sorry for Kazuichi.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu was the Ultimate Yakuza and rather foul mouthed and brash despite his small stature. He was also the last person who would get dragged into such a thing.

Or so had I thought, woefully underestimating Kazuichi's persuasion skills.

"What is it?" Fuyuhiko snapped, "What do you want?"

"Hey, want to go with us to this mansion?" Kazuichi said, walking over and sitting down in front of him with a wide shark like grin.

"...who's us?" Fuyuhiko said.

"Hajime, me and Nagito."

"....I am not going."

"Why, do you want to make out with Peko or something?"

"No, what the fuck."

"Come on, please, we just need another member and you are perfect for that."

"I said I am not going—"

Kazuichi proceeded to whine and annoy the living hell out of Fuyuhiko for the next one hour, causing him to give in. Evidently, his dedication to machines was more than his personal pride.

~

A day later, we were all standing in front of the mansion.

The weather was still cloudy. The weather forecast hadn't informed us about any rain, but considering that Nagito was tagging along.....well anything was possible. Already he was sporting bandaged arms when he had arrived today and seemed apprehensive to go with us. However Kazuichi had dragged him along anyways, with a, "No backsies."

I had asked him about the bandaged arms and his reply had been,

"Ahaha, it's the bad luck for the good luck that an Ultimate would invite such a worthless person like me........all I would do is bring along bad luck, however I am sure the Ultimates can overcome that."

If just going on a fun trip punished him in this manner, I suppose I can see why he is the way he is. In a way. I don't think I will ever come close to understanding Nagito Komaeda.

"So, we are staying here for a week, okay?" Kazuichi said, bringing out the keys. They were huge and fit for such an ancient mansion like this.

He unlocked the door. We pushed it together, causing it to swing back with a groan.

Silence.

That was the first thing I noted about this place. How absolutely silent it was.

The next thing I noticed was how dark it was.

Fuyuhiko took out a lighter to light the torches, looking creeped out himself.

"Oi, Kazuichi, I thought this was a scientific mystery, not a test of courage in a haunted house," he said, grumbling.

"...a scientific mystery is what they called it," Kazuichi said, looking confused himself.

"Ah, I am sure we can use science to investigate a paranormal mystery! If it can be solved using science, then it makes it a scientific mystery!" Nagito pointed out.

"I suppose so."

"I still have a bad feeling about this place.....," I muttered, going to help Fuyuhiko with the lights, "Besides, do we have a map?"

"Right in front of you, Hajime," Nagito chirped and I turned around to see that indeed, there was a map right in front of me.

"It looks like your hidden Talent could be Ultimate Map Summoner," he joked next, going to check the map in question.

"Lay off that already."

I might have forgotten my Ultimate Talent but that didn't give him the permission to rub it into my face at every turn.

Kazuichi used the light of the torches to check the keys.

"The numbers inscribed on the keys correspond to that on the map," Nagito spoke. This guy had some seriously good skills of observation. For a brief moment, I wondered why he isn't the Ultimate Detective instead.

"I see," Kazuichi went to check the map as well and began matching the keys to the map, "The map is incomplete....it looks too small for such a huge place.....wait, it's burnt off at the end."

"....ah."

Having finished lighting the torches, Fuyuhiko and I went to check the map in question as well. To allow Fuyuhiko to see it, Nagito moved back.

"Well, I am sure Ultimates such as yourselves would be able to figure out the rest of the map."

"Dude, we none of us are the Ultimate Mansion Map Imaginer over here," Kazuichi said, rolling his eyes.

Nagito looked at me.

"Definitely not," I said, "The map is extremely weird."

"I wonder which dumbass thought it would be a great idea to burn this map off," Fuyuhiko grumbled, "This better not be a prank Kazuichi."

"Why don't the lot of you believe me," Kazuichi spoke, "I saw this place at the same time as you all did. I originally got the ticket from my uncle who asked me to visit this place with three other people."

"Highly suspicious uncle, I see," Fuyuhiko said, "Well it would be the best to explore what areas we can explore and keep our stuff in the bedrooms."

"There are two bedrooms," I said squinting at the map, "Or that's what I can get from this map anyways."

"Well then we have to share it!" Kazuichi said, most cheerfully.

".....what," the rest of us chorused.

None of us had ever heard such a suggestion before.

".....share one bedroom between us, isn't that the most obvious conclusion?" Kazuichi tried again.

"I am too worthless to—," Nagito started up.

"We aren't that chummy—," Fuyuhiko spoke up.

"...sounds rather embarassing," I said.

Faced with our combined refusal, Kazuichi took a step back in exasperation.

"Then do you all geniuses have a better idea????"

"Yes," Fuyuhiko spoke before any of us could, "Explore the mansion and find atleast two more bedrooms."

".......you guys are so dedicated to being tsundere that it's honestly really sad," Kazuichi said, checking the keys again.

"Hey, what was that for—," I started.

"How fucking dare you," Fuyuhiko growled.

".....Uh, since none of us want to share rooms, I suppose we should split up and search? After all, it would be troublesome if we got lost," Nagito said, trying to quell us. It worked, apparently since Kazuichi nodded appreciatively.

"Nagito and Hajime can go together," he said, giving half the keys to me, "And Fuyuhiko can come with me."

Suffice to say, neither Fuyuhiko nor I were too happy about our respective partners, however we chose not to argue.

Kazuichi pushed open the door to the entrance hall which had electric lights on for some reason.

"Let's go."

~~~~~~

"It would be rather interesting if your hidden Talent could come into play here," Nagito said while we searched the kitchen. It was, shockingly enough, filled with modern amenities, which caused me to wonder what the hell was up with the first corridor. It was probably for show, though. And Nagito was still hung over my Talent since we started walking together, making me wish I had brought a duct tape to seal his mouth with.

"I don't see why you are so obsessed with my Talent," I said, searching the microwave. It had a single roasted chicken. It looked rather appetizing.

"What, don't you want to know what Talent got you into Hope's Peak? Maybe your hidden Talent is Ultimate Amnesia for all we know...."

"That's a mental disorder, not something to excel at," I grumbled, taking the chicken out.

"Hm...?" Nagito appeared to have caught smell of the roasted chicken and came over, ".......how odd."

"Well—," my sentence remained incomplete as a light came out of the open microwave and sucked Nagito to God knows where like something out of a sci fi movie.

The chicken dropped from my hand in shock.

"NAGITO?????"

~~~~~~

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu with anyone who wasn't Peko Pekoyama happened to make a rather caustic pair.

Especially right now, when he was searching a bedroom that resembled that of a hospital with Kazuichi Souda. Kazuichi had been needling him on tips to get a girl (Sonia Nevermind, the Ultimate Princess) to like him, because apparently he was supposed to be an expert on that somehow since he had Peko. He tried to explain that they had just been raised from birth and that they were best friends for that reason. Kazuichi looked downtrodden at that, prompting him to ask whether he had brought him along just to question that.

"Well," he said rather shamelessly, "I can't ask Hajime or Nagito for that, can I?"

Fuyuhiko felt the beginnings of a severe migraine in his head.

He would have to use all his patience in the following week to not murder this guy on spot.

"GUYS—," a rather shrill voice rang out, causing the both of them to jump and bump their heads against one another.

Hajime had come and he was looking extremely frightened and entirely out of his element. Hajime was someone who was extremely likely to faint at shocking events and tended to react strongly to abnormal things, so it was not a shock to see him freaked out. However, what was a shock was the absence of the cotton candy haired guy running after him in attempts of placating him.

Which led Fuyuhiko to assume that the reason was definitely Nagito.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Nagito got sucked inside a microwave and disappeared," Hajime said, panting.

".....pardon the fuck?"

".....This must be the scientific mystery they talked about in the brochure," Kazuichi said, eyes wide in excitement and slight fear, "Nagito's luck caused him to find it."

~~

It was a bland tasteless white room, whiter than even his own hair. Equipment was scattered around on the metal tables. Cupboards overflowed with bundles of paper and files. There was a projector at the far corner of the room.

Nagito Komaeda groggily rubbed at his face with his hands.

Ultimate Luck was truly something.

He turned his throbbing head around to check behind him. There was a gramaphone's trumpet there, sitting innocently. However, he was perfectly aware of exactly how innocent it was.

He looked at the room again. It was huge and there were no doors nor windows. It was, to say, an entirely sealed room apart from the gramaphone record that he assumed served as the pathway from the kitchen's microwave to this room.

He closed his eyes and exhaled.

[1/2]

Kazuichi is hopeless beyond sjjsjwjwjw

[shadowturtlesstuff]

You are in love

cressworth modern au, based on you are in love-taylor swift for thomas’s birthday

i have dress from audrey rose’s perspective written but not fully edited yet so i’m still working on that as well as the asks but they should be done soon. enjoy!

I wake early, sliding out of bed so I do not disturb Thomas or our cat. I quickly put on one of Thomas's jumpers and made my way into the kitchen. He had mentioned a few months back that his birthday usually went uncelebrated by his family, and since I had met him a month after his birthday last year and that he'd made my own incredibly special, I have been planning to return the sentiment all month. 

I pour myself a coffee as Sir Isaac jumps onto the counter, purring at me for food. Dacina and Illeana will be arriving back in London soon, my own family should be waking up soon and preparing for tonight. A few of our friends will come too, as will our cat. I’m sure if I didn't bring Sir Isaac with us Thomas would make us go back home to pick up ‘our son’. Which means I have a few hours with Thomas all to myself before we spoil him rotten at the party. 

“Audrey Rose?” I hear Thomas call from our bedroom, tiredness lacing his words. We’d stayed up late watching films together, then Thomas had read to me, one of his romance novels, then we'd fallen asleep in each other's arms. I was blissfully content to stay there all day if I didn't have to ensure everything would be set up right for his party. 

Thomas still struggled opening up to people other than me, and he struggled to believe he was a good person worthy of any love. Some days were better, but I found him with a strange look on his face sometimes whilst he looked at me. It was normally when I was doing such a mundane task, or something ridiculous, but I'd always catch him with such a vulnerable face it made my heart melt. And made me kiss him to try and convince him how much I loved him.

“In here!” I shout back, pouring myself coffee and then dealing with Sir Isaac. I heard Thomas move, slowly making his way to the kitchen. I check the time on my phone, and the message from Dacina saying they are at the airport. He hasn't seen his sister in a few years, she's been travelling the world as a private investigator with her girlfriend, and I know how much he misses her. 

I turn to find Thomas on the stool, his messy hair and tired face making him appear so much younger than he is and also utterly adorable. His messy hair is my favourite look. I reach to press a kiss to his temple. Thomas isn't a morning person, he prefers keeping me locked in his arms until we have to get up so we aren't late for work. “Why are we up so early?” he complains, taking my hand in his. He narrows his eyes at me slightly. “You planned something didn't you?” he sighs at my smirk. I'm surprised he didn't figure out anything sooner.

“Of course I did. But before we do anything, what would you like for breakfast?”

“Wadsworth, do we need to be awake now or is it whatever you've planned occurring later tonight?”

“Tonight but-”

He stands and wraps his arms around my waist, burying his head in the crook of my neck. He whines for emphasis and I can't help laughing at his dramatic nature. We stand for a minute, him holding me and me stealing his warmth until he pulls back and attempts to drag me back to bed. 

“Do you not want your gifts?” This makes him stop slightly and face me. 

“You got me something?”

“Many things. Some for now, some for the event later.” 

His curiosity gets the better of him and he sits back down.  Sir Issac jumps onto his lap, purring. I have two gifts planned for now, and two for the party. Panic flows through me at the thought he won't like them, but it is too late to change them. I slid the box to him that was hidden in one of our kitchen counters. He smiles warmly at me, I can tell by the sad look in his eye he is wondering why I'm going through all the effort as he messes with the ribbon. 

“Open it then Thomas.” Slowly he pulls the ribbon. He refuses to meet my eyes, and he hesitates in opening it. “I love you Thomas. More than I can comprehend. When I look at you, or think about you, my fears ebb away, the ghosts that haunt me leave.”

He opens the lid, looks at the gifts. I got him a notebook and a sketchbook as well as a novel. I'd contemplated what would mean the most to Thomas, what he loved and what he needed. We both work for my uncle as morticians, so a notebook is always useful but I want him to use it for himself. And the sketchbook was something that screamed something Thomas would adore. It was black with little roses hidden on the cover. He ran his finger over them. I'd always loved watching Thomas draw, he was incredibly talented but he rarely drew anything for himself. 

The novel was his favourite book. I'd managed to get a special edition of it, and I’d written inside the cover pages. Whilst I preferred reading autonomy books or science books, Thomas preferred romance novels. We've formed this new habit of him reading them to me before bed, or him talking to me about the book over breakfast. He'd tried to get me to read this book on my own for ages, so I finally gave in. I cried when I finished it. I understood why Thomas loved it. He saw himself in the main character, this perceived monster without feeling, when all along he was seeking acceptance. So I knew that this would mean alot to him. To us. 

The silence clung to the air, but despite my heart racing fast I could feel Thomas's love radiating off him as he picked up the book. Opening it I held my breath as I watched him read what I wrote. As I watched a tear slide down his cheek. His eyes found mine once he finished and he smiled at me. “You are my best friend Wadswoth. I hope you never forget that fact.” His voice is no more than a whisper as he sets the book down, walks around the island and envelopes in a tight hug. As he held me I understood why people went crazy when in love. The feeling of having someone you loved loving you just as fiercely was intoxicating. It meant more than anything else. So I held him tightly even as sir Issac tried to break us up because we weren't giving him attention. 

Eventually Thomas let go of me to rub Sir Isaac's head. “You aren't going to make me cry like that tonight are you?” He half teases whilst beginning to make his own coffee. I take his place stroking our cat as I tell him he needn't worry about my other gifts. Most of them were sweet treats and a few other books.

“Very well.” was all he replied with. Silence washes over us as we go about our daily routine. We steal kisses as we make breakfast, working around each other perfectly in our small kitchen. The rest of the day passes much the same. I do some research on our latest case as well as keep in contact with those attending the party and setting it up. Thomas is somewhere else in the flat, most likely reading. 

When we have an hour before the party I pack away my things and find Thomas in the living room, his sketchbook in his lap. I peek over his shoulder and find that he has drawn me. Drawn me buried in my work, my hair in a messy bun and spilling over my face. His hoodie drowned me and my hand rested on my cup of coffee as I read something. Despite the chaos of my work I look peaceful. I gasp slightly at the details and he looks over his shoulder at me. 

“Wadsworth. I didn't know what to start with so I drew my favourite thing.” He smiles at me and gestures for me to come sit next to him. He turns a page and shows me smaller drawings, some of me, some of us both. They are all perfectly drawn. I take his hand in mine and place a small kiss before taking the book of him to look closely at them. 

There is one of me in a long pink summer dress, one we had taken the day we rescued Sir Issac. We’d been walking through the park, discussing our case when we heard him. He'd been lying with an injured leg, no collar or any way to find the owner. So we took him to the vet and later kept him. Then there was another one of me reading something, one of me cooking, reaching into the cupboards to find something with a bright smile on my face. There is one of us both lying in bed, me sticking my tongue out at the camera and him laughing at me. I didn't know when he took half these photos but I'd never felt happier as I looked up at him, his eyes hesitant at my reaction. I felt a tear run down my cheek and I looked back down at the drawings.

I hear Thomas tell me to look up and when I don't I feel his hand gently on my chin and lift me. I'm all too aware of how close we are, our shoulders brush against each other and all I feel is such love for this wonderful man. “I picked some of my favourite days, and some of the times that looked real. I love watching you do some tedious task, because you make it enjoyable somehow.”

“Which is your favorite?” my voice is barely above a whisper.

“This,” he says pointing to the one of us in bed. “You were drunk that night-”

“I was not!” 

“You were,” he laughs at the memory, “I tucked you into bed but you made me hold you, then decided we needed to do something. So I took some photos of us, you with the most absurd faces, but there's one where I'm looking at you and you can see something in me clicked. I'd realised I loved you so much that night and that I'd do anything to prove it to you.” 

He wiped the tear, caressing my cheek as he planted a kiss on my lips. 

“Will you teach me?” I ask because I'm utterly terrible at drawing, at most creative things. 

“Of course. I'm guessing you came to tell me we have to get ready?”

“Yeah.”

We dress, order a taxi and make our way to the party. Were greeted by my uncle who hands Thomas a set of scalpels, then my father who shakes his hand and laughs with him. It is still so bizarre at how friendly they were. My cousin wraps me in a tight hug and slowly the party develops. Dacian and Illeana get here slightly late but make up for it by telling us tales of our adventure. I leave Thomas to catch up with his sister and find Liza at the buffet, Sir Isaac poking her leg to try and get her to give him food. I roll my eyes at him. Thomas is a terrible role model. 

“Sorry about our little beast, he is so much like Thomas the pest.” I pick up our cat and stroke him behind the ears and he purrs loudly. Liza laughs at me. “How are you?” I ask. It's been months since we saw each other. Last I heard she was part of a magic group of sorts and her mother hated it. But she was happy so at some point I would bring Thomas to see one of her shows. 

“I'm good, me and Harry are, well. He's an ass but that's a story for another time. Will you and the birthday boy be dancing tonight? I'm sure Thomas would love being the center of attention like that.” He would, very much so. There were a few couples dancing, I looked towards the floor and found that Illeana and Dacina were there so I tried to find Thomas. He hasn't moved from our table but had his sketchbook out, staring intensely at it. 

“We might. And you must tell me about what has happened with Harry. Perhaps sometime this week we can go for tea?” 

Sir Isaac jumps from my arms, seemingly bored so Liza takes that opportunity to wrap me in another hug. 

“Yes, I love that.” She tells me before walking off to find aunt Amelia. So I pile a bunch of sweets onto my plate and make my way back to Thomas. 

“You are meant to socialise at parties Thomas.” I say as a way of greeting. I set the plate before him and he smiles brightly at all the sugary treats. 

“Right, yes, sorry I'll finish this later.” I go to steal a peek at what he's drawing but he closes it too fast and tells me it's a surprise. “Dance with me Wadsworth.” he stands holding his arm out. We make our way onto the dance floor and I spot Liza beaming at me, getting her phone out to record us probably. Her hopelessly romantic heart means she likes to capture moments between Thomas and I. Something she has in common with Thomas apparently. 

We start dancing slowly, his arms around my waist, making small circles as we spin. “Will you tell me what you were drawing or do I have to wait?”

“You obviously. You look devastatingly beautiful tonight. Your dress is perfect. I had to.” He says such matters of factly that it makes me laugh. I would very much like to draw Thomas, to be able to be half as talented as him. The dress I'm wearing is a midnight blue, matching his own suit. It rested over my shoulders, falling into a tight waist and flowing at the knees so when Thomas spun me it wrapped around me. 

“Happy birthday Thomas.” His smile in return is better than anything I've seen before, it is so genuine and full of love that I stop dancing for just a second so I can always remember it. The music turns to silence for me as we continue to spin, all I can think about it Thomas. I steal a kiss and we remain dancing in silence, words not needed to convey our feelings.

@city-of-fae @fangirling-again @padfoot-sirius-black @fandomtakeover@purplecreatorhorsewagon @throneoftsc @the-hoofflepooff @kittycat2187 @goatahoan @boredbookwormgirl @loveyatopluto @lovecakeandmore

[king-gob]

What’s a good comic that doesn’t involve superheroes?

oh buddy. pal. friendo. I’ll limit myself to books currently running to keep this only a single mile long. Note that depending on how loose your definition of “superhero” is will affect this. I’ve seen people call John McClane a superhero so yeah.

Something is Killing the Children

by James Tynion IV and Werther Dell'Edera (Boom! Studios)

Kids have been going missing in a sleepy woodland town. A strange woman named Erica arrives, determined to do something about it. She partners with a young boy who claims to have seen the thing stalking the town, and things quickly spiral further out of control. Well-written characters and fantastic art. Easily my favorite book running right now.

The Department of Truth

by James Tynion IV and Martin Simmonds (Image)

Cole Turner is an FBI agent who specializes in conspiracy theories and the deleterious effect it has on the minds of people obsessed with them. Unfortunately for him, he is about to discover that there is more going on under the surface than he realized and belief is far more powerful than he could ever imagine. Tynion is quickly becoming one of my favorite writers, and Simmonds’s art is even better here than it was in Dying Is Easy (which I also recommend). This series has one of the best first issues I’ve ever read, and I was hooked instantly. A definite recommend if you are as interested in conspiracy theories as I am.

Fire Power

by Robert Kirkman and Chris Samnee (Image)

Owen Johnson is a regular dad in the suburbs. He has a great wife, two kids and a job working at his father-in-law’s antique shop. What sets him apart is that he had spent years of his early life in a Shaolin temple, mastering martial arts, including the legendary Fire Power, the ability to generate fire from his body. He has long since turned his back on his order and the responsibilities they demand, but his former life is not ready to let him go. Written by Robert Kirkman, creator of The Walking Dead and with art by the great Chris Samnee, Fire Power is a great martial arts comic, recommended for fans of Street Fighter or anyone who likes seeing monks and ninjas beat each other up. I definitely recommend starting from the “Volume 0″ prequel trade. It’s not ESSENTIAL but I believe the story flows much better with it that way.

Fear Case

by Matt Kindt and Tyler Jenkins (Dark Horse)

Two Secret Service agents are investigating the Fear Case, the Service’s oldest open case. All agents are put on the case, but are only given a single year to investigate, as the case has the tendency to ruin the lives of those who get too close. Winters and Mitchum are in the last three weeks before they have to turn the case over, but they are closer than anyone has gotten in the history of the Service to getting their hands on the legendary box. But the closer they get, the more bodies they seem to find, and the duo’s mental and emotional limits are stretched to their breaking point. Everything Matt Kindt writes is worth reading, and this series is no different. Recommended for fans of the X-Files and other supernatural mysteries.

I Breathed a Body

by Zac Thompson and Andy MacDonald (Aftershock)

Telling too much about this comic would honestly be spoiling it. In the not-too-distant future, the biggest social media influencer in the world posts something horrific and the macabre lengths his PR team go to to handle it. The art is extremely good at showing the body horror involved and while I do recommend the comic, be warned, it is *extremely* fucked up. Excellent horror comic.

Once and Future

by Kieron Gillen and Dan Mora (Boom! Studios)

Terrorists resurrect King Arthur in a bid for power, but it turns out that the english legend is not what they thought or bargained for. Now, a retired monster hunter and her archeologist grandson must turn back the tide of returning myths before the world is irreversibly plunged into darkness. But their family history has plenty of shadows of their own. Really great book from two of my favorite creators, and really love the way they play with the metatextual nature of the myths and legends involved. Very fun.

Seven Secrets

by Tom Taylor and Daniele Di Nicuolo (Boom! Studios)

A clandestine order protects seven briefcases which hold seven secrets. However, a betrayal from within threatens to reveal those secrets, and Caspar, the son of two former protectors of the Seven Secrets, must discover the truth before all is lost. Tom Taylor is a fantastic writer that makes everything he writes infectiously fun, and with Di Nicuolo’s great eye for action scenes, this is an adventure book worth checking out.

Stillwater

by Chip Zdarsky and Ramón K. Pérez (Image)

A promise of a substantial inheritance brings Daniel West and his friend to the quiet town of Stillwater. However, they quickly realize the town’s sinister secret: in Stillwater, nobody dies. And as the marketing for the book says, that’s not just a promise, it’s a threat. Good writing and an intriguing mystery. Highly recommended.

That Texas Blood

by Chris Condon and Jacob Phillips (Image)

The murder of his brother brings an aspiring writer back to the Texas town of his youth, and puts him on a violent road to his own undoing. Fantastic writing. If you’re like me and love dark neo-western and crime stories, then I honestly can’t recommend this book enough. Look elsewhere if you want happy endings.

We Only Find Them When They’re Dead

by Al Ewing and Simone Di Meo (Boom! Studios)

Captain Malik and his crew pilot an autopsy ship, so named because they harvest meat, metal and other materials from the fresh corpses of dead gods that appear on the edge of space. Malik wants to see a living god, and is willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. But the ghosts of his past haunt him, and until he confronts them, making history won’t be easy. Fantastic cosmic sci-fi story with gorgeous art by Di Meo. Recommended for people who love stories set in space, and also for people who love long panels.

American Ronin

by Peter Milligan and ACO (AWA Upshot)

In a future where supercorporations rule everyone’s lives (I know that may be hard to visualize but try to imagine it), war is fought not by nations, but by enhanced operatives carrying out all manner of assassinations and espionage. But when one unnamed operative breaks his programming and goes on the hunt, the entire sick system is about to be violently brought down. Really interesting protagonist who has a great ability. Hunt down his targets by ingesting their DNA to learn how they think, and then using that empathic ability to get inside their heads. The cat and mouse games are really fun, and I highly recommend for anyone who likes superspy stories or seeing complex plans pay off.

Casual Fling

by Jason Starr and Dalibor Talajić (AWA Upshot)

Jennifer Ryan is a successful lawyer with a loving family and a great career, but a bad decision (that is, cheating on her stay-at-home husband) made on a whim has disastrous consequences. Saying much more would be spoiling, but there is definitely something sinister going on beneath the surface. Made in the style of erotic thrillers like Fatal Attraction and Eyes Wide Shut, this book features very well-written, realistic characters and importantly (to me anyway) refuses to condemn the protagonist while not shying away from the destructive results of her mistakes. I picked this book up because I liked Jason Starr’s previous book, Red Border, and enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. Recommended.

Bitter Root

by David F. Walker, Chuck Brown and Sanford Greene (Image)

In 1920s Harlem, a long-standing family of monster hunters is splintering. Tragedy and conflicting worldviews are tearing them apart, and they’re going to need to stand together if they want to save New York City from the darkness that’s coming. Hate is a powerful thing, but also a cancer, and it’s about to metastasize. Really great worldbuilding and immediately likeable characters. Despite having a lot of themes about hate and prejudice (and utilizing them particularly well, in my opinion), the book is an exceptional action story. David F. Walker is a favorite writer of mine (See: Shaft, Nighthawk, Luke Cage) and Chuck Brown wrote the incredibly fun On the Stump (also highly recommended). The issues also feature essays from black scholars who expand on some of the historical events and themes that are present in the book, if you’re into that sort of thing (which I am). I’m not sure if those are in the trades, though.

Honorable Mentions/Books that I am too tired to give the full treatment to right now: Babyteeth (Aftershock) Chained to the Grave (IDW) Dead Dog’s Bite (Dark Horse) Decorum (Image) Deep Beyond (Image) Dryad (Oni Press) Family Tree (Image) The Goon (Albatross Funnybooks) Killadelphia (Image) Nocterra (Image) Neil Gaiman’s Norse Mythology (Dark Horse) Orcs (Boom! Studios) Orphan and the Five Beasts (Dark Horse) Outcast (Image) Proctor Valley Road (Boom! Studios) Redneck (Image) Sea of Sorrows (IDW) Second Coming (AHOY Comics) Silver Coin (Image) Tartarus (Image) Two Moons (Image) Undiscovered Country (Image) Undone by Blood (Aftershock) Vampire: The Masquerade (Vault Comics) Wynd (Boom! Studios) Year Zero (AWA Upshot) Honorable Mentions/Books that have ended but you should check out: A Walk Through Hell (Aftershock) American Born Chinese (First Second) American Vampire (DC Comics) Animosity (Aftershock) Archangel 8 (AWA Upshot) Bad Reception (Aftershock) Basketful of Heads (DC Comics) Black Science (Image) Blacksad (Dark Horse) Chew (Image) Dark Ark (Aftershock) Dark Red (Aftershock) Daytripper (DC Comics) Dead Day (Aftershock) Devil’s Highway (AWA Upshot) The Dollhouse Family (DC Comics) East of West (Image) Folklords (Boom! Studios) Gideon Falls (Image) God Country (Image) Grendel, KY (AWA Upshot) Hotell (AWA Upshot) Infidel (Image) Knights Temporal (Aftershock) Locke and Key (IDW) The Low, Low Woods (DC Comics) The Man Who Fucked Up Time (Aftershock) Midnight Nation (Image) Nailbiter (Image) Orc Stain (Image) Pestilence (Aftershock) Plunge (DC Comics) Preacher (DC Comics) Pride of Baghdad (DC Comics) Red Border (AWA Upshot) The Red Mother (Boom! Studios) The Replacer (Aftershock) Scalped (DC Comics) Scott Pilgrim (Oni Press) Strange Skies Over East Berlin (Boom! Studios) Tokyo Ghost (Image) Transmetropolitan (DC Comics) Unholy Grail (Aftershock) The Wicked + The Divine (Image) Y: The Last Man (DC Comics)

[secretshinigami]

routine and soft eyes

Author: @hazblogs For: @beyondplusultra Pairings/Characters: nearmellomatt, mention of lawlight Rating/Warnings: T, mentions of Mello’s scar  Prompt: Wammy House kids sleepover (A, B, L can be included, can be AU) Author’s notes: I had so much fun with this !!! soft bois…. thank you to anyone who reads it !!

Mello is positively fuming. Someone (who shall not be named, though if you want to know it starts with “N” and ends with “-ate River”) just got on top of Forensic Science and Investigative Skills and History of Crime and the Justice System. Those are Mello’s topics. They’re the best at these and they always have been (in the two years they’ve studied here. But that’s long enough, right ?), so the fact that Mister Nobody just came in and stole their turf… That’s infuriating. To top it all off, the dean did them dirty and assigned someone to the second bed in their room, knowing full well that they need that second bed for Matt. This week is just a pile of flaming shit.

As they swing the door open they are greeted by the beeping sounds usually coming from Matt’s bed, a comforting electronic melody. Matt doesn’t even turn around to raise his middle finger to protest against how loud Mello is, but that’s also common practice around here, so no worries. 

“Heard you got your ass beat,” Matt says a while later, Mello’s hand carding through his strawberry-green hair. “By the newbie no less. How’re you taking it ?”

“Matt, my hand is dangerously close to your eyes and you need those to play on that stupid console. Better not risk it.”

“Like you’d ever hurt me,” Matt grumbles, and the certainty with which he speaks makes their heart pulse just a little faster. Mello is hopelessly in love, aren’t they ?

The rest of the evening is quiet save for that same musical background, a welcome white noise as Mello finishes their essay for Writing Comedy. The teacher seems to have some trouble with their rather macabre humour so they try to tone it down for once - rather unsuccessfully.

“Also heard you’ll have a roommate,” Matt continues a few hours later as they prepare for bed - gotta put some moisturiser on that scar like a damsel doing her skincare routine, the doctor said, “or you’ll experience how actually painful it can be”. Talk about being threatening…

“I heard. I can kick them out.” Mello would do it. Without remorse, even.

“I can sleep in your bed too,” Matt offers. “But only if you promise not to kick me out from under the covers every single night.”

“Okay, first of all, fuck off, and secondly, why the hell would I want someone else to room with me ? You’re already here. You’ve always been here.”

“And I always will be, Mels. Just… I think it’s time you get out of your shell a little bit, you know ? You can’t keep pretending that talking to me twice every day and ignoring Linda a couple times a week is enough friendly interaction for the little pea inside your coconut.” Mello turns away from the mirror, moisturiser in hand, and sends a glare to Matt who sighs and raises his hands in defeat. “Don’t say I didn’t try ! Think about it, okay, Mello ?”

They do think about it. The whole night. They don’t sleep - it’s not because Matt snores but that’s the excuse they’ll use. Ever since the accident and the scar, people have usually been too impressed - or scared - by them to even consider starting a casual conversation. Matt was there even before, and he probably always will be, Linda is a weirdo who wants to draw them with a ponytail, and… Well, that’s it. Mello lives for schoolwork, to be the best and hope to right some of the wrongs in this world.

“Yo, Mihael,” the dean says when he sees them in front of his office the following morning. Lawliet is a TA at their university, still haunting the dorms. He has a creepy smile under his stupid raccoon eyes and he keeps using Mello’s birthname, like it makes any more sense to call them with that than to call them “xXx_sexy_blondie_xXx”, or however you pronounce that out loud.

“Lawliet. I saw you assigned me a roommate.”

“I did,” he smiles still, like there’s a joke Mello doesn’t get.

“Why ?” Mello would actually like to know - Lawliet never does anything at random.

“You’ll see when he arrives later today,” is the cryptic answer, and Mello sneers at their stupid fucking dean as they leave for their 8am lecture.

Because yes, multiple things are out to get their skin - though they won’t be deterred.

The day goes by in a flash, Screenwriting and Poetry being two of their most interesting classes, and by the time they’ve finished their Crime Prevision and Prevention homework at the library, the sun is well on its way down. Mello walks slowly to the dorms, enjoying the warm air - it’s still only September and winter hasn’t come yet. The music blasting from their headphones is a perfect background to the chill atmosphere, a few bird silhouettes dark against the wonderfully peach clouds. In a few minutes they’ll kiss Matt and they’ll eat a bite, and they’ll sleep knowing they’re safe now.

When they arrive in front of their room, a few cardboard boxes occupy the entrance. Shit fuck hell, they’d forgotten the roommate arrived today. All they can see from where they’re blocked from entering is a white blob of hair on top of baggy clothes, perched on the desk and looking at whatever Matt is playing.

“Uh, I’m supposed to be able to enter my own room,” Mello kind of yells. Only kind of. “Would you please not be a giant stupid bother before I even get your name ?”

“Sorry,” the snowball says, not looking sorry at all. “I’m Nate River.”

“But you can call him Near ! He plays retro games, which isn’t… let’s say it’s not my strong point, but I’m sure it’ll go well, we’re three whole weirdos with weirdo nicknames !”

Mello blinks. Near is still here. They blink again. Near is still here, looking a little like a frog with his lopsided smile, a hand playing with one of his curls. Mello blinks a third time and doesn’t expect Near to have packed his things and go, but that was a close call.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” they mutter. “Lawliet is gonna get killed.”

“You actually know enough about criminology to not be caught, so go you.” Near is smirking. Mello wants to cry. “But I would advise against it, because he’s dating that twink Light Yagami, the alumni who came last week to give the presentation about the War on Drugs and its consequences. He’s a police lieutenant now.”

“Called it !” Matt raises a fist in victory, taking five years from Mello’s lifespan. “Anyway, now that you’re here, please do help us with the last boxes. We’ve been setting up Near’s compy and it’s revoltingly difficult.”

“I will not- how can you ask me to- I’m gonna commit arson and this time I promise I’ll succeed !”

“Dramatic bitch,” Matt says jovially. “Just come in and drop your stuff, apparently someone from the ADA thing comes tomorrow to make sure the room is accessible with a crutch and to help Near settle in.”

Mello just now notices that Near isn’t fully standing up - he’s propped on the desk, a mechanical knee peeking through the bottom of his shorts. This changes nothing - though Mello feels the both grim and hopeful sense of community that disabled people get when they meet. Their ear still works wonky and their eye ? Not the sharpest either. Without talking about all the skin damage, the phantom pain, the- hell no, they won’t get into “reflective mode” without having eaten dinner first.

Reluctantly, Mello spends the rest of the evening avoiding Near as Matt and them help him settle in, surprised by the small amount of belongings he actually has - most of the boxes he brought are board games and hundreds of little kapla sticks. Is Near planning to recreate the Golden Bridge ? He looks like a nerd, maybe it’ll be the Death Star.

Routines are a persistent thing, and before they know it, Near has managed to get a small space - small, they insist - in Mello’s well-oiled machinery. He eats breakfast with Matt, a meal that Mello forgoes entirely, and he goes on unfortunate walks to his PT appointments, because he’s out of money from whatever government organism gives benefits to disabled people and can’t afford a cab. Mello thinks they should get into it a little more, maybe call their case worker, because ramen tastes worse and worse when you have it for every meal of the week. And then Near and Matt start talking about something or another, especially topics that annoy Mello, or Near gets a little too close to them while they both work on their assignments at their desk, his elbow barely brushing Mello’s side. It makes them shiver, but they will ignore that, thank you very much.

Another routine - bedtime - has gotten a little different. One single bed is enough for “one person and a half”, according to Matt, so the obvious solution to them being three in a two single beds room is to push the beds together.

“And now you have a perfect three people beddery !” Matt triumphantly declared. “Mello, you sleep in the middle.”

“Why am I in the middle ?” they protested. “It’s the least comfortable !”

“Oh well, we can take turns,” Near had snarked, knowing full well that the first one of them to sleep in the middle would have to accept defeat.

Mello does end up in the middle, Matt cuddled against their left side where the burn is, and Near an ever-closer presence against their right arm. It’s not as uncomfortable as they expected. Near doesn’t snore and he smells like minty toothpaste, a strangely comforting scent that lulls Mello to sleep way more easily than the five thousand melatonin pills they take before going to bed.

Oh well, maybe Lawliet can live a little longer. His boyfriend - Matt saw them kissing through the peephole, it’s official now - won’t have any (more) reasons to put Mello behind bars.

Near gets on top of International Law and keeps wearing strangely baggy clothes everywhere - or well, everywhere but in the dorms. Mello has time to get used to that mechanical knee, even asking a few questions about phantom pains on the days Matt is away and the itching gets unmanageable. Near is quiet like snow but they’re nothing alike in warmth, grey eyes like molten metal setting on Mello’s face and crinkling in a smile.

And it works wonders. One time they get a bad mark (for their standards) and they even study with Near for extra credit, a presentation about the death penalty that lasts about three quarters of the two hours class. The teacher gives them both full marks and Matt celebrates by crushing them both against his chest, the smell of motor oil and mint so comforting that Mello closes his eyes, just for a little while.

It’s winter before they have time to think about it, and finals go by in a blur of “no sleep, no food, no distractions”. They even manage to end up at the nurse’s office when they faint during the Criminology Theory exam, forced to drink sugar water until the world stops exploding in a million tiny stars when they move their head.

Mello thinks that surviving their last winter exam session ever - they should be able to find a job with a double Master’s degree in Criminology and Creative writing, right ? - deserves a celebratory nap and they sprawl on the bed as soon as they’re back from the last stupid oral presentation they have to do about stupid Foundations of Criminal Justice. Near is not in the room - which is weird, because he finished five minutes and thirty six seconds before them - and Matt is away for the day to try and get his internship at the garage, so they have the full three-person bed, and they fully intend to enjoy the luxury.

They enjoy it so much that they fall asleep, only noticing that time has passed because before they blinked, it was day, and it is now very much nighttime. Light giggles fill the room along with the muted light from Near’s bedside lamp, and Mello takes the time to relish in the quiet atmosphere. Hushed conversation rises from near the desk, giggles and the smell of hot chocolate both making Mello sit up at last.

“Lookit you ! Sleeping beauty arises. Though I haven’t kissed you yet,” Matt smiles, and he climbs on the bed to press his lips against Mello’s. “Love you,” he whispers as he pulls away and goes back to slump on Near’s shoulder.

At first, Near felt like an intruder each time Matt kissed them, but he’s become so embedded in their life that Mello doesn’t feel any awkwardness anymore - to the point where not including him has become the cause of their inner turmoil.

Because yeah, uh, there’s that. Near in a tank top and booty shorts, prosthetic being painted on by a very enthusiastic Matt, has become the new image they conjure up each time the need to strangle someone arises. And poof, instant peace. Discreet touches, Near sleeping fully cuddled against their right side now, Matt nosing through Near’s hair just after he’s washed it because his strawberry shampoo smells divine, Mello even going as far as ruffling Near’s hair without warning, just to see his little nose scrunch up… All that has become routine too, and suddenly the change is too big to go by unmentioned. 

They’ve managed to hold on to their feelings until then but as Matt starts talking again, Near’s smile is a little too tight - though his eyes sparkle, it’s like… something’s missing. 

“Emergency mee-ee-ting,” they yawn, the skin around their left eye crinkling up painfully. Near notices and doesn’t even ask before grabbing the petroleum jelly tube and throwing it rather inaccurately at their face. See, that’s what they were talking about, Near has just become… there, in the way Matt is there even when he’s asleep in another part of the universe where Mello can only hope to ever go to. “We gotta talk shit out.”

“Are you over your gay crisis yet ?” Matt asks, eyes calm and open, sipping hot chocolate with noisy slurps that Mello doesn’t bother mentioning anymore. His green hair looks more and more red as time passes, which is a strange feat of hair dye conspiracy. “Can we go back to playing ?”

“I haven’t even talked !” Mello protests. “I just really think it’s necessary to mention that…”

They don’t know how to continue that sentence. Near is looking at them with something strangely akin to hope, and Matt still has that infuriating openness about him like he just knows Mello so well he doesn’t need to be told what they feel. 

Near doesn’t, though, and he matters enough to Mello now for them to want to include him in the little bubble as well.

“I just think it’d be cool if we shared the secret chocolate stash with Near,” is what comes out of their mouth.

Well done caporal, please die of shame now.

“Mels, wow, that’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said !” Matt’s voice drips with amusement - devoid of any mean spirit, they should add, because Matt is the one thing Mello knows is good in this world. And well, maybe there’s a second one they’ve stumbled on, and they want Near to know that he means a lot to them too.

“I mean it !” Mello whines. “He’s one of us now. I think we can share.”

“Mello. Please realise that I’ve been flirting with you this entire time,” comes Near’s deadpan answer. “The time I told you I wanted to braid your hair ? The time I made you sleep and finished the presentation alone because you’d gotten the flu and I hate being sneezed on ? The fact that Matt literally sits in my lap half the time, and only half because the other is spent on your lap ?”

“Okay, first of all, fuck off with me getting the flu.”

“You’re avoiding my question.” Near looks stubborn, and it’s a good look on him.

When did Mello start to think Near looks good ? “I, uh. I may be slightly romantically obtuse. Has Matt told you the time when-”

“-he kissed you and you thought he wanted to practice smooches for his secret best friend, because of course you wouldn’t be his best friend ?”

Utterly mortified, Mello can feel their cheeks become bright red. “Well, uh. Enough mushiness for tonight. Just pass me the chocolate, Matt, I’m starving.”

Matt giggles and throws a Kinder Egg at their face. Near munches on the leftover shell while Mello assembles the toy, and it’s peaceful - and happy, too, so when Mello raises a hand to their scar they smile still, in spite of their involuntary shiver.

[imgoingtohellsofuckit]

Dipper Pines Is Bad At Romance

Adult Dipper x Reader

Warnings - None

Summary - Mable kicks Dipper out for the day and he meets a girl that seems too good to be true

soo i’ve been rewatching gravity falls and I remembered my childhood crush on Dipper so I decided fanfic time

"Dipper you've been staring at that book for hours!" Mable groans, "stop being so boring!" Dipper rolls his eyes as he moves the book up to cover his face. It's just like Mable to bother him about nothing. I mean he's working on a case he doesn't have time to not be focused. Sure they saved the town- no the world but that doesn't mean she's come to her senses about how they need to focus on these things."Mable I'm kinda busy," Dipper groans.

"You're not busy you're boring!" Mable exclaims.

"I'm not boring I'm trying to help Ford with this investigation," Dipper says at once, "I mean this is important!"

"You know what else is important?" She asks looking over her brother, "socializing, going outside every once in a while. When's the last time you talked to someone that wasn't related to you?"

Dipper thinks for a moment. He can't remember if he's being honest. He's just been working with Ford so he hasn't had time to worry about talking to other people.

"And you reek- have you showered either?" Mable asks him.

"I-"

"No no thats it as your twin I'm putting my foot down," Mable says fiercely, "you're going to go shower-and then I'm making you go into town and socialize!"

"I have a job to do," He says defensively.

"Dipper you're wasting your twenties away!" Mable exclaims, "come on all you've done the last three weeks is work on this. You're just burning yourself out so. You need a break. So I'm forcing you to take one."

"Ugh kid this room's disgusting," Stan groans, "I'm pretty sure it's a biohazard."

"I've almost got it-"

"No you don't," Ford says simply, "Mable you can look over his notes for now, Dipper you need to leave the house."

"But-but-"

"Dipper you are disgusting," Mable says harshly, "come on go into town and I don't know get a coffee or talk to someone. Get some new clothes so we can burn those."

"Hey!"

"Now shower and go!"

Dipper caved. Well is it really caving when you're bulled into it? So he showered and got his car keys from Mable and went in town. If for nothing than get everyone to shut up.

"Well what now," Dipper says as he walks along the sidewalk. His eyes scanning the building, "god why did they have to do this now? I was so close to a break through!"

"Man have I heard this one before," Dipper hears a unfamiliar voice say. He turns to see a girl around his age looking at him with a soft smirk. He's never seen her in town before. Must be new. "Team throw you out even though you were almost there?"

"Family actually," Dipper replies.

"Ouch thats even worse," She adds, "traitors the whole lot of em."

"Tell me about it," Dipper says chuckling lightly, "how do you think I feel."

"Positively filled with despair?" She teases lightly.

"Well I wouldn't go that far," He says with a chuckle, "I haven't seen you around before. You live here in Gravity Falls?"

"Ah I'm fairly new," She shares.

"Pretty random place to decide to move to," He says looking to the girl. She chuckles lightly.

"A friend from college grew up here and had a free room," She tells him, "I love small towns with weird people and thats pretty much the staple here." Dipper chuckles.

"You don't even know that half of it," Dipper says brightly, "I'm Dipper by the way."

"Dipper? Nice name," She says eyeing him closely.

"Nickname actually," He says as he rubs the back of his neck, "ya know one of those childhood nicknames that stick with you for the rest of your life."

"Oh man well at least you've got a cute one," She flirts, "the names Y/n."

"You're really pretty-No! Wait no you are pretty but uh uh- I mean that's a pretty name," Dipper stumbles. She chuckles.

"Thanks," She says giving him a soft smile, "so Dipper how about you and I get a cup of coffee?"

"Uh yeah," He stumbles, "that would be great."

"Come on," Y/n says leading them into the coffee shop. As they get into line his eyes keep on her closely. He's never met anyone so confident like this- well maybe Mable. But she's so much more calm and cool. They get their drinks then take a seat together at one of the tables by the windows. "So Dipper- aren't you Mable's twin?"

"You know my sister?" He asks.

"Oh yeah she's like always at the record store I work at," Y/n says, "she made me a sweater. Honestly I adore her."

"Everyone does," Dipper says softly.

"I'm sure that you hear it all the time," She says to him, "ya know she talks about you a lot. She's been trying to get me to come down the shack to meet you for like three weeks now."

"Whoa really?"

"Yeah she says we'd be good friends," She explains, "something about how we both are nerdy and like the paranormal."

"Paranormal eh?"

"Yeah I'm a paranormal investigator on the side. It's kinda the perfect place for that job," She smiles, "I know you guys aren't supposed to talk about it. But when Pacifica told me all about it-"

"Pacifica? That's your friend!"

"Yeah we were room mates in college," Y/n shares, "she's great for the most part. She told me all about you when you were like what 12? How you used to solve mysterious and helped saved the world."

"Really she talked about me?"

"Pacifica? Oh she talked all the time about the Twins who made her than a spoiled brat-"

"We did didn't we."

"Cocky aren't ya," She smirks, "you're lucky you're cute."

"I'm cute?"

"I thought you knew that already?" She chuckles as she twirls the ends of her h/c hair. Dipper chuckles nervously.

"So what did you major in?"

"I double majored in physics and parapsychology" She answers, "my parents were very confused. What about you?"

"I majored in biochemistry and minored in photographer and film production," He shares, "I loved it and it helped me start producing my online show."

"Online show?" She asks, "thats awesome."

"Yeah awesome," He says blushing brightly.

"I'll check it out sometime," She says smiling. He chuckles nervously again. She's pretty she's making him so nervous. I mean pretty girl who likes the paranormal and already knows about his weird past she's perfect- maybe too perfect. I mean girls aren't really interest in him and I mean she did just pop up out of no where. Oh man she's too good there has to be something wrong with her. She's a murderer, she's Bill! No she can't be. Oh my god is she just a bunch of  gnomes? Or a unicorn? Or a mermaid? "You okay Dipper?"

"Uh yeah I just need to call my sister," He says standing. She nods then looks to her coffee as he slips outside the coffee shop. He moves dialing Mable's number at once. After the third ring she picks up.

"You can't come back yet," Mable groans, "we're still cleaning up your toxic wasteland of a room." Dipper rolls his eyes.

"Listen Mable I think I need you to come into town... Look I met this girl-"

"You met a girl!"

"Mable listen to me!"

"Yeah okay okay listening!"

"I met this girl and she said she knew you but she's like crazy perfect and I think she might be gnomes," Dipper exclaims.

"You should crazy."

"I'm being serious Mable her names Y/n and-"

"Oh my god you met Y/n! Dipper I've been trying to set you two up for weeks!" Mable exclaims, "she's perfect for you! Oh do you like her?"

"Mable you aren't taking this serious!"

"No shes perfect for you!" Mable exclaims, "she's pretty, she's nice, she like mysterious! What's the problem Dipper?"

"She's too perfect!"

Mable sighs loudly. Of course her twin would do something like this. It's Dipper for crying out loud. He'd see a girl so obviously perfect for him then find a reason to mess it up.

"Dipper I'm begging you not to ruin this," Mable says firmly, "I've been setting you guys up for so long now and if you ruin it because you are too paranoid I will make you join that speed dating thing."

"What? Mable no!"

"Dipper you're ruining this! Just give her a chance she's really nice!"

"Too nice!"

"For a guy who's so smart you're kinda dumb."

"Mable," He groans. She sighs. What could she do to convince him that this is a good thing?

"Dipper?"

The boy turns to see the girl in question behind him.

"Y/n hey," Dipper says tensely.

"You think I'm a bunch of gnomes? Like what stacked up in a crop top and jeans?" She teases lightly.

"I'm hanging up now Dipper... Don't mess this up!"

"Mable-"

No use. She already hang up. Dipper sighs as he looks to the girl.

"I just- I don't know I've never met any cute girls who also like the science and the paranormal."

"Your sister was right you are dorky," She says with a chuckle, "listen I'm not a bunch of gnomes or a vampire. Not even a zombie. I'm just me. A normal girl." He avoids her eyes. He feels bad. I mean they were having a good time and he just had to freak out and ruin it like always.

'God dipper why do you always have to do this stuff!' He mentally screams.

"You know I don't meet a lot of cute guys who are into science and the paranormal," She says smirking at him, "I'm still kinda convinced you're a shape shiftier who's trying to get my brain. Paranoia comes with the job. We kinda need to get used to it. Think we can but aside the crazy theories and hang out? If you're like what Mable describes I'm sure we'd have a lot of fun."

"Really?"

"Yeah," She smiles, "I'm thinking you and me go and look at this haunted  mansion a couple towns over."

"Yeah?"

"I think it would be a great first date for us."

"Date?"

"I mean if thats okay?"

He smiles.

"It's okay."

[doyoufancyathought]

Through The Utility Closet Part 2: An Unexpected Visitor

Y/N looked up from where she had landed on the floor. There was a table of open mouthed individuals, and one very confused presenter, looking down on her. Whoops, this is something she'd have to text her best friend about when she got home.

"I'm so sorry," Y/N stood up and dusted off her apron. "I had no idea there was a second door in the closet, and I couldn't find the light switch, and-"

And she was cut off. "Where did you come from?" The presenter asked.

Y/N motioned to the closet she had just spilled out of. "The storage room?"

"That's a coat closet. And we don't even keep coats in it. How long have you been hiding in there?"

"I'm so sorry," Y/N started to back up, not liking the route her evening had taken. "I swear I wasn't hiding, I was just in the room to put a box on the shelf, I was only in there for a minute, I swear."

He looked confused, as did the people seated around the table. "We've been here for 20 minutes, and there's no way you snuck past us carrying a box."

"Oh, there must be a different door that I came through, then. I'm so sorry, I'll be going now."

"Wait a minute," the man walked over and blocked her from getting back into the closet. "This is my coat closet, and I want to investigate where you came from. Rogers, come here please."

A hulking blonde man stood up from the opposite side of the table and started walking towards our heroine. He said a quiet "Hi, 'scuse me." and maneuvered past her and joined the other man in the room.

"Tony, there's no other door, just the one right here." The blond man said.

I suppose it's important to establish that it's not normal to have secondary doors to coat closets unless you live in a haunted Victorian home full of ghosts that have already plotted 63 different ways to kill you by Tuesday.

"I know, Steve!"

"Then where did she come from?"

"I don't know! She certainly didn't sneak in since we've been here!"

The two men in the closet bickered back and forth for a few minutes. Meanwhile, Y/N turned to the room full of strangers who were observing both her and the argument in the closet in equal amounts. She caught the eye of a massive brunet, and gave him the classic smile given to those you wish to scootch past in the grocery store. He looked away, and a man who I could have sworn had just had a red complexion rose from his chair to stand beside Y/N.

"I do apologize for our manners. My name is Vision, what's yours?"

"I'm Y/N."

"Lovely name. And where are you from, Y/N?"

This gave her pause. She assumed that she was from the same place as they were, the town they were all in at this very moment.

"I'm from here?"

"And where exactly do you think here is?"

"What, you think this door teleported me? I'm in (hometown) of course, same as you!" Y/N chuckled as she looked around the room. She caught the rest of the group exchanging looks, and sighed. "Right?"

Vision gently patted her shoulder. "I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you this, dear, but you're not in (hometown) anymore. You're in New York."

Y/N looked between Vision and the others. "What? That's crazy! I'm not - there's no way. You guys are crazy." Y/N looked over her shoulder to see the two men in the closet peering out at the rest of the room. "Did you find the other door? I really should get back to work, and I'm sure you all should get back to your meeting."

They shook their heads and moved out of the closet, although it was a battle between who entered the doorway first.

"I'll find it, and I'll be on my way." Y/N charged back into the closet, and crossed the foot and a half wide floor with one step. Surely she'd be better at finding a mysteriously elusive door than two men, right? She ran her fingers over the walls, looking for a hinge or a handle or even a bump to indicate an opening of any kind. She'd even pull an Alice in Wonderland and crawl on her hands and knees through a hole in the wall if she must.

Still, no luck. The wall was as smooth as a baby's bottom, which were usually quite smooth. So, Y/N returned to the boardroom with her arms crossed.

"Alright, this joke is very funny, but I'm really ready to go back to work now!"

"We're not pulling a prank here, I promise, we're just as surprised as you are."

"Seriously? Who paid you to do this? I don't know anyone who could pay you to pull this off. Who did it?"

"Seriously, lady, there's no joke here. We're not pranking you."

"Then," Y/N paused and licked her lips. "Hey, man, where did you say we are?"

Vision told her that she was in New York now. It was too much. Between the heat and the stress and the exhaustion, Y/N's brain couldn't take it any longer. Steve barely had time to leap back over the table and catch her in his arms before she crumbled to the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Y/N woke up, she was still in the boardroom, laid out on the floor, surrounded by good looking strangers. Weirdly, her life was looking better than it usually did.

"What happened?"

"You fainted, dear." A man with a goatee spoke up. "Don't worry, you weren't out for very long. I'm a doctor, by the way. Doctor Stephen Strange."

"That's, well," Y/N searched for a better word to describe her situation. "Strange." The man frowned down at her. "Not you, I'm sorry, just, I don't faint, I'm not really the damsel in distress type. Where am I?"

"This again?!?!" Y/N recognized the man from before, Tony. "You're in New York! Where did you come from?"

"I came from work, in (hometown). I don't just wear this apron around for fun, you know!" Y/N gestured to her apron, which conveniently had the company logo on it. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "So, I'm in New York. And I came out of your coat closet. And before that, I was at my job in (hometown), just going about my day. How did I get here?"

"Well," the man called Vision came back into the room. "I'm not quite sure, but if I had to guess, which I don't do often, you've just come through an inter-dimensional portal."

"A what now?"

"An inter-dimensional portal. You've travelled through space, clearly, possibly time as well, and I would guess you've also travelled across different planes of reality since you seem to have no comprehension of who we are. Thus, you've crossed into a different dimension that the one you usually reside in."

"That totally makes sense."

"Oh, really?" The blond giant from earlier asked.

"No, absolutely not. That did not make sense at all, Vision. I thought portals only existed in sci-fi, like Star Trek or stuff like that!" Y/N was, indeed, very confused.

"I think the science might be a little beyond your understanding, dear." Vision said. "But it appears to me that your storage cupboard was a doorway to this universe, to this reality. Sometimes these things just pop up, you know."

Y/N looked at Vision. "No, I don't know that these things just pop up! Pretty sure I would have heard about it on the news." Everyone sat for a moment, pondering their next steps. "So does anyone have any ideas on how to get me back to my world?" Y/N looked around hopefully.

The group of people around her all looked at each other, and Tony, Vision, and Dr. Strange looked thoughtful.

"I think that between the three of us we can probably figure out how to get you home." Dr. Strange finally said.

"And how long will that take? Like a couple of hours maybe?" Y/N asked from the floor.

"Uh, no." Tony stood up and started clearing off a whiteboard. "Inter-dimensional portals cannot be figured out in just a few hours, strange lady. It'll take a few days, at best. You got somewhere to stay?"

"Tony, she's not going to have anywhere to stay, she's not from here." Steve explained.

"She can stay with us!" a dark man with a buzz cut offered. "I've got a spare room in the basement still, she can stay there until we figure out how to get her home. I'm Sam, by the way."

"Hi Sam, I'm Y/N. You don't have to take me in, I can just stay in a shelter if there's one nearby."

"Hang on, I'm calling Fury." Tony dialled a phone, and pointed at me while it was ringing. "You're not staying in a shelter."

"No, it's fine, I'm sure it won't be too bad."

"They're terrible, you're not staying at a shelter, you're coming with me." Sam said.

"And why would I stay with you? I don't know who you are, why should I trust you more than some homeless shelter?" Y/N was standing now, and crossed her arms.

"We're the Avengers! You can trust us."

"I don't think you understand how little that means to me. Who are you?"

"The Avengers."

"And what is the Avengers? Sounds like either a league of superheroes or a terrible pop group."

"We're superheroes."

"Oh shit really?" Y/N blushed. "You're superheroes, for real?"

The group around the table nodded.

"So who's got the laser eyes?"

The group looked mildly confused, because none of them had laser eyes, but fortunately they didn't have a chance to answer, because Fury answered the phone, and Tony set it to speaker.

"What can I help you with, Stark?"

"Well, see, here's the situation. We're just sitting here, having our meeting, and the closet door pops open and this girl comes flying out onto the floor."

"Okay, so you have a spy, you know what to do with that."

"I'm not done yet. We thought she was a spy, but we've come to the conclusion that she actually just came through an inter-dimensional portal."

"So you have an alien in your conference room?"

"She's not an alien, Mr. Fury." Vision interjected. "I've scanned her, and she seems to be perfectly human."

Y/N frowned. She didn't like the thought of being scanned without consent. And how could Vision tell that she was human anyways? And did this guy think she was an alien? Were aliens common in this world?

The man on the other end of the phone sighed. "Is she there?"

"Yeah, she's been here the whole time. You're on speaker." Tony responded.

"I'd like to speak to her."

"Talk away, she's right here."

"Hello, what's your name?"

"I'm Y/n." she said, moving closer to the phone.

"Hi, well welcome to Earth. I'm Nick Fury, director of SHIELD. Welcome to Earth."

"Thanks, but I'm already from Earth, I don't really need a welcome."

"Ok, we'll brush past that for now. Have they explained the inter-dimension portals to you yet?"

"They tried, but if I'm being honest that's a little bit out of my league."

"Fair enough. You're in good hands there; we have the best scientists in the world at those labs. As you might imagine, it's not really an exact science, these portals, so it might take our team a while to figure out how to get you home."

"So are you guys like the men in black? Do you have that movie here?"

"Yeah, we have that movie here. I'm guessing that your world is very very similar to ours, so we're going to be taking you down to one of our labs and running a few tests so we can better determine where you're from. In the mean time, I'll let the Avengers take care of you, they don't have any other pressing matters at this time, and just in case you're a violent alien, they're best equipped to deal with you going rogue."

"Uh, well, I guess that sounds good. I promise I'm not an alien though."

"We'll see about that." Fury hung up and I looked around the room.

"I should make introductions, pardon my manners." Vision stood up from his seat (he kinda seemed to float, but maybe he was just hella graceful).

"This is Steven Rogers, you might hear him referred to as Captain America." The blond man who had earlier joined Tony in a closet gave a quick wave and a smile. He seemed very friendly.

"This is James Barnes, he's very quiet, so don't take offence if he doesn't say much to you. He means no harm." Vision pointed to the brunet I had locked eyes with earlier, and he gave a small smile, but didn't wave.

"This is Sam Wilson, as you know. He, Steve, and James all live together in Sam's house, and I suppose you'll be joining them. I'd offer you our couch, but my wife Wanda and I," here he pointed to a lovely brunette woman seated beside him. "are in the middle of renovations, and I'm sure a spare bedroom would be more comfortable for you than a dusty couch."

Y/N nodded. She was going to have a bit of trouble keeping track of everyone's names.

"This is Bruce Banner, this is Natasha Romanoff, Scott Lang, Clint Barton, Stephen Strange, Tony Stark, and of course, I am Vision." They all waved as their names were said.

"Wait, what's your last name?"

"I don't have one, dear. I'm a computer."

"Oh?" Y/N was shocked, understandably so.

"Yes."

"We don't have that in my world."

"Yes, it's uncommon here as well. Are you ready to go do some tests?"

"Um, I guess so. Nice to meet you all."

Vision and Y/N walked out of the meeting room and started down the hallway.

Tony decided to pick up from where they left off. "So as I was saying,"

"Tony!" Steve yelled at him. "What are you doing?"

"Getting back to the meeting we were having?"

"We just had a girl pop through a portal in our closet, and you want to go back to the meeting?"

"Um, yeah. Vision's got her."

"Aren't you curious?"

"Not really."

"The first time something pops out of a portal and doesn't try to kill us, and you're not interested?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Dude, you're crazy. I'm going down to the lab to watch the tests." Scott jumped up from his seat and started making his way to the door.

"Yeah, me too." Steve and Sam stood up, and Bucky followed suit.

Soon enough, the whole team was exiting the conference room and following the path that Y/N and Vision had taken down to the labs. Tony eventually decided to follow them, because he didn't want to be alone.

They got down to the labs, and found Vision waiting in the hallway.

"They sent her to get changed," Vision explained as the team assembled. "If she's staying here for a while, we're going to have to get her some more clothes. I'm sure she doesn't want to stay in her work clothes the entire time."

"Yeah, I'll get Pepper to make arrangements." Tony said.

After a few minutes, Y/N stepped out of a room just off the hallway. She was wearing grey shorts and a black tank top, and nothing on her feet. She frowned as her bare feet hit the cold tile floor.

"Ugh, so cold. Alright, let's figure out where I'm from."

A nurse came and got her, and led her into another room just off the hallway. There was an observation window, and the team gathered around to watch the tests. They watched her as she jumped up on the table, and smiled at the nurse as she began to hook up wires and prep for a blood draw. Soon they would figure out just who this unexpected visitor was.

[feed-your-neopets]

Valdemar x Devil!Lucio Fluff (One-shot)

Writer Preface:

First, I haven’t written fanfiction in years. Nor have I read a book recently. So, don’t feel bad about pointing out grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes. It’s been a while since I’ve done anything like this. Also, my knowledge of the science and medical world is pitiful. Please, let me know if I said something ridiculous.

Second, it is cannon that Lucio has a New Jersey accent. It may enhance the story to imagine him with it, because I did while writing this.

Third, this is just slow, awkward, fluffy Valdemar x Lucio stuff. I was trying to piece together how a relationship could even develop between them, and I love the challenge of unlikely, cursed pairings. I was thinking this would probably take place in Muriel’s route (so, smoll SPOILERS from this point on). I would think Lucio’s social circle would be dwindling since – ya know – he merged with the Devil and all. Lucio would definitely be longing for friendship and companionship. Valdemar will humor him if it means they get new things to study. Get that bag, Valdemar.

---

The salon was one of the few rooms left in the palace where one could find some peace. Ironic, as this room was once one of the livelier places in the palace. After all, the salon was where Countess Nadia would entertain her guests. Now, it was an echo of its former self.

Since his resurrection and merging with the boss, Count Lucio ran with a different crowd, and these new guests had a habit of “borrowing”. Not that Valdemar cared about the state of the rooms throughout the palace, nor the drunkards who sloppily paraded through the hallways with pockets full of silverware. However, the room was simply lacking. It was not quite the same without Countess Nadia’s fingers gliding across the ivory keys with precision and grace. Instead of the haunting melodies of a grand piano and the idle chatter of the other courtiers, the room was filled with the distant echoes of intoxicated partygoers reciting a rather impolite folk song about a sea captain’s cousin.

However, Valdemar was paying little attention to the commotion outside and quietly sipped their tea. They chose instead to focus on the decorating choices they felt were an improvement. For example, the dying flowers wilting in waterless vases were a nice touch. Additionally, the portrait that Count Lucio had commissioned in his mother’s likeness had some alterations. It was laying waste on the ground below where it was once proudly hung. The vandalism was done with such intention that Valdemar was certain the count had crossed out the eyes himself. Valdemar pondered if he had done so in a fit of rage. The count had such a temper, and judging from his interaction with his mother, there was a lot of emotional baggage to unpack. While the symbolism was a tad on the nose, Valdemar appreciated the irony none-the-less. It was Lucio who murdered his own mother. It was only fitting he should be the one to remove the light from her portrait’s eyes too.

Without much warning, the doors of the salon burst open with a bang; shaking the few portraits that still hung on the walls. Yet, Valdemar sat unflinching despite the abrupt entrance from the count.

“Alright, I’ll catch you guys later.” called Count Lucio to a chorus of guttural cheers and whooping from the end of the hall. Valdemar peered at the count from over their teacup as they took a long sip. They had been wondering what was taking the count so long. He had been the one who had requested a meeting with them. To keep them waiting seemed in poor taste.

“Crazy guys.” chucked Lucio to himself before turning his attention to Valdemar. “Hey, there you are! Where have you been? You weren’t at last night’s party. You missed Vulgora tackling several new recruits. You should have seen them go at it. We were taking bets and everything.”

“Hm.” hummed Valdemar as they peered into their teacup, finding more interest in the way the tea leaves settled to the bottom of their cup than Lucio’s story. However, Lucio did not seem to notice as he reenacted the punches and kicks of last night’s tussle; knocking over a chair in the process. “But hey, don’t worry about missing it. They’ll probably do it again tomorrow night. You’re gonna love it.”

“I am sure, my count.” lied Valdemar.

Lucio seemed convince Valdemar was genuine, and with an exaggerated groan, he slumped into the chair next to them. Valdemar watched as he adjusted the scabbard on his waist, the end of which clanked aggressively on the hardwood floor. His legs then spread out for maximum comfort as he sunk into his seat. It would seem he was finally situated, and he looked merrily back at Valdemar expecting them to speak first. The quaestor closed their eyes. Admittedly, their patience was wearing thin. With a short sigh, they placed their teacup on the table and prepared themselves to address the count.

“Is there a reason you have called me here today, my count?” asked Valdemar as politely as they could muster.

A spark of realization lit in Lucio’s eyes. “Oh, yeah, that’s right! I gotcha something.” said Lucio as he started rummaging through a small satchel. “I felt like we left it kinda weird at that old broad’s house, and I been wanting to make it up to you.”

“Old broad?” whispered Valdemar to themself as they searched their lexicon for a translation.

“Yeah, you remember. I gave you her heart. I was weird about it, but you were just asking for your payment.” explained the count. “It is nothing amazing, really. You probably have twenty of ‘em, but I was traveling through the market, and I saw it, and I thought - do you know who would like this? Quaestor Valdemar - so, I got it. No big deal, ya know?”

From his bag, Lucio pulled out an adult human skull. Embedded in the eye sockets were large rubies that burned in the orange glow of the setting sun. The count placed his gift in Valdemar’s hand, who made quick note of the condition in which the skull was in. In short, it was nearly perfect. The dental work was most fascinating to Valdemar. Not a single tooth was crooked or missing. No sign of disease or decay. Whoever extracted this specimen knew what they were doing. Valdemar was so transfixed by the skull, they almost forgot Lucio was still in the room.

“Yeah, I thought you like that.” said Lucio as he leaned forward in his chair. “I got that off a guy who was selling all kinds of wild, kooky stuff.”

Valdemar was quiet as they studied the skull. They were far more impressed by the specimen itself than the embellishments. Gemology was not at the top of their list of the most appealing subjects, and frankly, they thought the rubies were rather gaudy.

As they pondered the feasibility of extracting the gemstones without damaging the bone, a visibly nervous Lucio shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with the silence between them.

“I -uh- I got it because the eyes remind me of your eyes.” said Lucio. As the words left his mouth, he instantly wished he had just swallowed them instead. He was not prepared for Valdemar's undivided attention. Their eyes were fixed on Lucio. Their expression was blank. Their entire form was eerily motionless. He immediately felt the need to elaborate. “Ya know, because the rubies are pretty - pretty like your eyes.”

To Lucio’s relief, the compliment was enough to break their stare. No one had ever called their eyes pretty before. Creepy. Unsettling. Unnatural. But never pretty. Pretty was a meaningless word. Pretty was objective. Pretty could not be measured. Pretty was unscientific. Yet, the word bounced around in their mind, unextrapolated and uncategorized. Valdemar wanted to dissect its meaning. They wanted Lucio to elaborate. What did it mean to have pretty eyes?

"Hey, is that thing broken?" asked Lucio. who had unknowingly grounded Valdemar from their slow spiral into the definition and interpretation of the word pretty.

"Pardon?" asked Valdemar.

"Did that bastard give me a busted skull?" asked Lucio gesturing to a fissure starting from the bottom of the eye socket across the cheekbone.

Realizing what the count was referring to Valdemar had to stifle a laugh. "No, that is a zygomaticomaxillary suture. You'll notice the second one, right here." They turned the skull to allow Lucio to see the other fissure reflected on the other cheekbone.

"Oh, so it's okay then? It's not broken?" asked Lucio.

"This specimen is in excellent condition." reassured Valdemar. A moment passed between them before the quaestor softly cleared their throat, and managed a polite thank you to the count. They fully intended to investigate the skull further for any clues of what may have lead to the specimen’s demise. They loved a good mystery. Afterwords, it would look lovely in their display cabinet - pretty ruby eyes and all.

“Right, so that guy I got this skull from. He has other things too. Goopy things in jars. Dead things in jars. Dead things out of jars. Drawings of bones and meaty parts. Books. Does any of that sound interesting to you?” asked Lucio.

Valdemar considered Lucio’s offer before replying, “I suppose that I am always in search for new specimens to add to my collection. Additionally, this could be an opportunity to ask the merchant where the rest of the remain’s of this specimen can be found.”

Their response seemed to greatly please the count as he leaned back in his chair. For the past few nights, he had done nothing but party - which he loved to do, and would surely want to do again - but sitting with Valdemar, as the sun lowered into the horizon felt nice. Not to mention, they knew a lot, which Lucio appreciated. Having them around could be quite helpful to keeping his kingdom. Additionally, he was curious as to what was under their bandages. His money was on horns, but it would be fun to confirm his suspicions.

“Great, I’ll take you down there sometime.” said Lucio. “And, if you see anything you like, consider it yours.”

While material possessions never interested Valdemar, the idea of discovering something new was quite alluring. Perhaps, the merchant had a sealed jar of an entirely forgotten disease, or maybe they would uncover an ancient tomb that described a real account of an unsolved death of an entire village. The more they thought about it, the more exciting the prospect became.

“Would now be an appropriate time?” asked Valdemar who had moved to the edge of their seat. Their body was stiff with anticipation, as they leaned over ever so slightly towards him. A coy smile spread on Lucio’s face. He knew the moment he agreed, Valdemar would be sprinting for the door. Frankly, it seemed cruel to make them wait another moment for his answer.

“I’ll have someone fetch two cloaks and a carriage.”

END.