#Like some other actor pairs I wasn't impressed with

[bookishforce]

the only thing I'm grateful to Only Friends about at this stage is introducing me to Force and Book ~~

I will finish it because I want to support them but the glossing over the trauma and not allowing the growth of their characters has actually made me so sad??

Manifesting an excellent series that they're the main couple in next year, they deserve better. I kind of don't rlly understand the hate on them tho? Lots of actors have shitty series & characters (which I don't think is the case with them) and they're still liked? make it make sense plez

[ofstarsandvibranium]

A Day in the Life...

Fandom: Marvel (Actor AU)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader

Summary: You're hired to be famous actor, Bucky Barnes' social media manager. This is probably the best and worst job you've ever gotten because Bucky gives you free reign of his social media but also...you may or may not be crushing on Bucky aka your boss. Based off my imagine here.

A/N: this is 3,180 words because i refused to break it up into parts. anyway, ENJOY!

You press record and begin to narrate, "A Day in the Life of a Social Media Manager for a Super Big and Popular Actor *Working Title*"

You face the camera to you and continue to speak, "Bucky had some morning meetings but I wasn't allowed to film. So now here he is doing his daily workout."

You pan the camera to him and he says, "Hi," with a shy smile.

You snort, stopping the recording, "What?"

"This is..." he gestures to you and your work phone, "awkward."

"Then don't make it awkward! And hey, you said I had free reign! I asked your followers what they'd like to see and they say they want a glimpse of your daily life."

His brows furrow, "Didn't you just say this is a day in the life of a social media manager?"

You shrug, "The poll was tied to seeing your daily life and my daily life working for you. So I just decided to put the two together. Anyway, the title is a work in progress. We'll see how this does and go from there. Anyway, just ignore me. I'm not even here."

Bucky gets back to his work out. He has an outdoor and indoor set up. Because the weather was nice, he decided to do his workout outside...shirtless.

He goes to the lifting station, picking up some weights. You begin to narrate again, but this time in a Steve Irwin impression, "Right. Now watch as the esteemed actor gets ready to work out his arms in preparation for an awesome movie that I'm not allowed to mention."

Bucky lets out a chuckle, dropping the weights and looking back at you, "You filming a nature documentary now?" he rests his hands on his hips and smirks at you in a way that makes you want to melt.

You give a playful yet dramatic sigh, dropping your filming arm down, "Are you this difficult with your directors, Barnes?"

He shakes his head, "Nah. None of my directors have been as dorky as you."

You stick your tongue out at him, "Fine. I'll leave you to your workout."

"No, hey, I was joking! Don't leave me!"

You shake your head, "It's fine, Bucky. I'll leave you to it. I'll chalk up some other videos we could do. Also, the getty images from last night's premiere are up. Did you want to look through them before I post?"

He shakes his head, "I trust your judgement." he turns around, his bare back facing you. You stay and watch as he do a few arm curls and immediately rush back into his home.

"Get it together, Y/N," you mumble to yourself, leaving your boss to his workout.

________________________

During Bucky's fitting for New York's Fashion Week, you were allowed to take some behind the scenes pictures. You have a few candid ones of Bucky standing in front of a mirror, his stylist fixing his collar, and him looking at the different shoe options.

Then you included some goofy ones where he copies a pose of a mannequin, a selfie of you two showing of your shoe choices (his being very fancy and yours being your regular sneakers), and then a selfie of him wearing a pair of sunglasses without a lens.

You posted all of them after fashion week was over and his Instagram followers were LOVING it.

bbarnesfan: STAHP. he's so adorable.

xbucky-muncher: he went from serious to dork. get you a man who can do both.

notyouraveragebuckyfan: ok but him and his social media manager are so cute together???

bbarnesfan replies: they're literally bucky's employee. don't be weird.

notyouraveragebuckyfan replies: i'm just saying! they seem like they have great chemistry! have you seen the tiktoks and reels of them together?

"How come you put the candids and the selfies all in one post?" Bucky asks as he looks through the latest post you made.

You're scrolling through the analytics of the last tiktok you two made, one where he guesses if one of his characters said a specific line or it's made up.

You take note of the demographics, the comments, etc. to be mindful of for the next posts you make.

Without looking up from your laptop, you answer, "It shows people the different sides of you. How you take things seriously but you can also have fun with it."

He hums, "Lots of people think we look cute together." He says this in hopes of getting some sort of reaction from you.

You continue to work, not looking back at them, "Don't pay attention to those comments. The internet will make up all kinds of stuff."

Bucky's shoulders sag a bit as he replies, "Yeah. You're right."

You'd been working for him for almost a year now. He doesn't see you every day like he did when you first were hired on. Now you only come over twice a week to go over analytics with his team and to shoot some content. Most of the time, you work from your place and Bucky's been feeling more lonely ever since.

Your presence brightened his day and you provided a breath of fresh air on his busier days. He genuinely enjoyed your company and liked making content with you. He liked learning more about you, having meals together, and just being with you. He thought that maybe there was something there between you, but then he'd be reminded that you're his employee and he's your boss. It can't work out.

But there were some glimpsed of hope. You'd look at Bucky a certain way or make a comment that seemed a little more flirty. It had to mean something, right? But whenever Bucky tried to push a little more, you'd pull away and he hated it. It was so complicated.

He wanted you as more than an employee but his team clocked him on his feelings and told him not to fuck it up because you've helped Bucky's image immensely.

He can't fuck this up, not matter how much his heart yearns for more.

___________________________

"Hello, hello!" you greet Bucky, handing him his coffee as he lets you into his home. You've been working for him for over a year. It's one out of the two days you come over to do work with him.

His stylist, Michael, was nice enough to bring some clothes over for a TikTok video that you had which was "My Social Media Manager Picks Out My Next Event Outfit".

The next event that Bucky needs to make an appearance in is his friend, Nat's, movie premiere. The dress code is very formal so it's no surprise to see various kinds of formal wear.

What does surprise you is that you see a rack of clothes that you know wouldn't be for Bucky.

"Um...what's this?"

He grins widely at you, "Clothes for you to choose from."

Your brows shoot up in surprise, "Excuse me?"

"You said you've always wanted to go to one right? You're coming with me."

"As your social media manager?"

"You're not working the event. You're going as my plus one."

"Uuuuhhh..."

"You don't have to, but I was hoping to bring you as, ya know, a thank you for all the amazing work you've done for me this past year."

You can't help but snort, "Bucky, c'mon, did all of your usuals reject you or something?"

"You're the only person I've asked right now. Come on, Y/N, please?"

You want to. You really, really want to. But these past few months, you and Bucky have been toeing the line between a work relationship and something more. You're not sure if going as his plus one to the premiere is a good idea, especially since even more people have been commenting on your chemistry.

But Bucky's looking at you with those gorgeous blue eyes and he's pouting and he looks so cute, so how could you say no?

"I'll think about it," you reply and it seems to appease Bucky because he smiles again and says, "Okay. But I really do hope you'll go. It'll be fun, plus you've met Nat. She thinks you're cool."

You scoff, "There's no way Natasha Romanoff, the hottest and most popular actress right now, thinks I'm cool."

He shrugs, "Everyone thinks you're cool. It's hard to not like you, Y/N, trust me," he gives you a wink and it makes your cheeks warm up, "Anyway, so let's see what we got."

You wordlessly nod, going over to set up your work phone to begin filming.

________________________

You think you did really well with picking out Bucky's outfit. It was a royal blue velvet jacket with a black bow tie, and black slacks. Even Michael was impressed with your choice.

Even though you weren't working tonight, you still took some pictures and clips just in case. You took a video of the reveal of your look tonight and can't help but feel bubbly inside when Bucky wouldn't stop looking at you.

To distract yourself, you decided to take candids of Bucky getting his hair done after you were finished getting ready. He kept making funny faces at you, making you laugh.

After you both were ready, you took some mirror selfies, obviously, and sent them to Bucky afterwards.

You're in the car on the way to the premiere when you get a bunch of texts and notifications from people:

Wanda: I KNOW YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO THE PREMIERE BUT YOU DIDN'T SAY AS BUCKY'S DATE!

Pietro: good luck tonight! use protection! ;D

Carol: since when are you dating bucky barnes???

You unlock your phone but see a notification that Bucky tagged you in a post you didn't know he was going to make.

It was the mirror selfies you two took, with the caption: got the most gorgeous date on my arm tonight.

You immediately turn to Bucky, eyes narrowing, "James Buchanan Barnes."

"...I don't like how you just used my government name like that."

"Why would you post those selfies of us?!"

He shrugs, "Because we look great."

"And the caption?"

"It's true. You're gorgeous."

You groan and pinch the bridge of your nose, "Your publicist and manager are gonna kill me."

"No, they won't."

"They hired me to make sure your online presence is good and won't jeopardize your career."

"Nothing's gonna happen, Y/N."

"People already assume we're together because of how well we work together. It was fine to let them speculate because but that post will make things even worse."

"How?"

"People will think I'm a gold digger? That I got this job because we're sleeping together? I don't know! The internet makes up all kinds of fucked up reasons and I won't be able to get work ever again!"

"But is it so bad that people think we're together?"

"For you, it won't be bad. For me, it could be. So, please, Bucky, delete those photos before even more people see it."

Bucky's jaw clenches and mumbles out, "Fine. I'm sorry," he takes out his phone and you watch as he deletes the photos off his instagram. Tonight was supposed to be fun, but you're sure you just ruined it.

____________________

The entire night was awkward. Bucky did his best to still include you in conversations he had with friends and colleagues, but you felt the tension between you two. You did your best to enjoy it as much as you can. You saw Nat for a brief moment where you hugged her and congratulate her. She said she wanted to chat later but you didn't really expect much. This is her premiere and she has other priorities.

She proved you wrong, however, during the after party where she pulled you to an area for more privacy.

"Hey, how are you?"

"Um, good. A little overwhelmed, but, uh, tonight's been...fun."

She tilts her head and narrows her eyes at you, just like her character did in the movie, and you can't help but let the truth spill, "I freaked out on Bucky on the way here. He posted pictures of us that insinuate we're together and I don't want it to result in me getting fired and potentially never getting a job like this ever again."

"Yeah, I saw that before he deleted it. You guys looked cute. Also, are you two not dating?"

"What? No! He's literally my boss!"

She shrugs, "Could've fooled me. Anyway, there's something clearly going on between you two, right?"

"I, uh, I don't know what to say. Do I have feelings for him? Yes. But will I act on them? No. Again, he's my boss, I'm his employee. I really like this job too, so I can't risk anything."

"I feel like there's a 'but' coming."

"...but he's so amazingly funny, smart, hot, understanding, compassionate, and I just love spending time with him. It's so fucked, Nat.

She nods in understanding, "I know, hon. I'm gonna say the most cliche thing ever, but listen to your heart. I'm sure you'll find another job just as fun as this one, but to be with someone you click so well with? That doesn't come often."

"Hey, you okay?" Bucky comes up from behind, placing a hand on your hip and looking at you with concern.

Nat flashes him a smile, "Just wanted to catch up with them, but I've hogged up your date long enough, Barnes." she turns back to you, "Think about what I said, okay? Enjoy the rest of your night and thanks for coming," she hugs you and heads back out to the party.

Bucky nods to her and stands in front of you, "Did you want to stay longer or are you ready to go?"

"I think I'm ready to go for the night."

"Alright." you follow him out to the front where you wait for the driver to pick you guys up. He stands beside you with his hands in his pockets, wearing that gorgeous outfit you chose.

"I'm sorry again about the pictures."

"Thank you, I'm sorry I attacked you like that."

He shakes his head, "Don't be. I get why you did. But, um, we're good?"

You nod, "Yeah, Bucky, we're good."

"Good," he gives you a shy smile and then points at the upcoming car, "Our ride's here." As soon as the SUV pulls up, he opens the door for you and lets you go in first. He follows and the drive home is in silence.

_________________________

You're working in your little alcove at Bucky's when he approaches you, "Hey, I need to talk to you about something."

You turn in your chair and look up at him, "This doesn't sound good."

"It's good and bad."

"Um, okay?" you clasp your hands together in your lap in anxiousness.

"So...I'm hiring a different social media manager."

Your heart drops, "Wh-What? But-But I thought I was doing well. Your team said I was doing a good job. What happened?"

"You are, but lemme also add that there's another job already waiting for you."

"Bucky, I'm so confused right now. Are you firing me? Or contracting me to someone else?"

"I'm firing you because I can't date an employee."

You straighten up at his statement, "Excuse me?"

Bucky steps closer to you, reaching out and grabbing your hand, "It's just...shit, Y/N, you gotta know how I feel about you right?"

You bite your lip in nervousness, "Maybe."

He lets out a long sigh and run a hand through his cropped hair, "Listen, I like you. A lot. That's the real reason I wanted you to come with me to the premiere. I love spending time with you and I've been so much happier since you've started working for me. To be honest, I didn't know how much longer I could keep myself from wanting to be with you. So to still make sure your professionalism was in tact, I reached out to Nat to see if she was in need of an amazing social media manager and, luckily, she was."

"I'm gonna work for Nat? Nat wants me to work for her?"

Bucky nods, "She does. So you'll be working for her which means I'm not longer your boss. Which means...will you go on a date with me?"

Fuck it. Fuck it all. You held in your feelings for Bucky for so long and now you've been given a loophole to be with him.

"I like you too, Bucky. So much, I didn't say anything, obviously, because I wanted to remain professional, but fuck did you make it hard to not fall for you."

Bucky snickers with a smirk, "I can say the same thing about you." His thumb caresses the back of your hand and it feels so right.

"Have you actually hired someone to take over for me?"

"Not officially, but I have some applicants already. Why? Do you know someone?"

You nod, "I do. She just graduated college with a degree in communications with a concentration in social media. I can have her send in an application, but I one hundred percent vouch for her. She's done great work."

"Alright. I trust you, but I don't think I can find anyone who works as well as you do."

"I fucking hope not. Or else you might leave me for them!"

"Never," Bucky replies confidently with a softness in his voice and adoration in his eyes.

"So...about that date..."

_______________________

"Come with me to work for a popular actor!" Kamala narrates her latest TikTok.

"So Bucky is working on a new movie with Natasha Romanoff so for promo we're filming a bunch of different content!" Nat and Bucky wave at the camera.

"After filming all of that, they're off to a photoshoot. Here are some of the potential outfits they can wear." the camera pans to several racks of clothing.

"There's a lunch break and here's my lunch versus Bucky's lunch," Kamala's plate is pasta while Bucky's roast chicken, "The boss needs to bulk up for another role so he needs a lot of protein."

"And that's all that I can show you for today. Until next time, bye!"

You scroll to the comments and they're immediately flooded with"

you're not y/n???

wait, did y/n quit?! did bucky fire them?! no!

what happened to y/n?!

and so on.

You snort and show Bucky, who was cuddling you from behind, "I told you people would notice."

He peers over your shoulder to look at your phone, "Kamala actually had an idea for that."

_________________

"A Day in the Life of an Actor's Social Media Manager. Part...whatever. So we're doing more promo stuff for Bucky and Nat's new movie. But this time I'm also working with Nat's social media manager, Y/N! We're doing a What's in the Box Challenge and here's a clip of Bucky freaking out."

"IT'S MOVING! WHY IS IT MOVING?!"

"Also look at Bucky and Y/N. They're so cute together. And yes, guys, they're totally dating now which is why Y/N no longer works for Bucky. ANYWAY..."

[nouvxllev]

Hi, just wanna say I love your stuff! I was wondering if you’d do a Jenna x reader who is the daughter of Winona Ryder and Jenna meets her on the set of Beetlejuice 2. Winona acting as a wing woman for Jenna.

head over heels, your hand over mine

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader

Summary: ^ request!

Words: 5.0k

Warnings: longer than i intended it to be

a/n: first of all... tysm!!! and second of all, thank you for the request!! means alot to me and i wrote it to the best of my abilities, hope you'll like it!!!

seq. || masterlist

Shit, shit, shit...

Jenna cursed under her breath as she practically hammered down the first-floor button as if that was going to make it go faster.

She glanced over to the indicator right above the door, the numbers slowly inching towards the ground floor. Her foot kept directing her side to side in the elevator, a stressed back-and-forth pace she caught herself on all while she gripped the Beetlejuice 2 script right in her hands, the paper almost being punctured with holes and such.

Jenna could almost blame herself for this.

Actually, she does. She damned herself so much she wouldn't be surprised if she got hit by a bus, really.

It wasn't any other day you'd get a role in Beetlejuice, 2, might she add, and even landing the role of the daughter of Winona Ryder who is possibly one of the most outstanding actresses out there and a 90s icon.

And now she's just slightly fucking it up with first impressions with how she's atleast 10 minutes late to their set because she spent her entire night in reading and rereading the script over and over until she perfected her lines to the point it's probably better if she'd just make Beetlejuice herself.

When the doors slid open, Jenna bolted out until she made her way to the entrance, her hand tightly clutching that damn script and her other gripping the strap of her bag.

Fumbling with her phone to call an Uber, she couldn't help but grimace at the thousands upon thousands of texts saying that she was late and her alarm clocks repeatedly being turned on to snooze just minutes before.

Of course, this day of all days just so happened to be the day that the universe decided that it had a grudge on Jenna for whatever reason because all Ubers were somehow booked and it would probably take atleast 30 minutes for another one.

So, like the hardworking actress she is determined to get a first impression even with punctuality falling behind her, she ran.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn't long, thank-fucking-god, till Jenna got to set. She slowed her pace a little when she saw the cameras and people surrounding a particular area.

She took a moment to compose herself as she approached them, smoothing down her pants and fixing her hair all while she tried to catch her breath before possibly collapsing on the ground. The crew members spared her a glance, how comforting, even if they all had concerned looks on their faces.

Jenna always worked with such talented actors and directors, and now here she was working with Winona Ryder meanwhile she was looking like she ran a marathon on the side while going to set.

"You're here!" Winona called out, lowering the script in her hands while she offered a warm smile. "We almost thought there were some complications in your schedule."

The young actress offered a sheepish smile, embarrassment flowing in her mind as she offered a weak hand gesture. "I'm so sorry, all Ubers were somehow booked and I woke up late." She admitted before introducing herself. "I'm Jenna. Ortega." She added.

Winona chuckled, "No worries. The tech team is sorting out some equipment issues, so it's a bit of free time right now." She explained, offering a handshake. "Winona Ryder. Your mother. Well, on-screen." She joked while Jenna laughed with it.

"God, sorry if I look worn out. I really admire your work, it's all so amazing." Jenna took her hand, reciprocating the gesture. She was almost going to add something until a figure approached Winona, looking like a split-perfect resemblance of her. And oh how she did the fastest double-take in her whole life.

"Oh, right!" Winona pulled, possibly the most prettiest and gorgeous, girl Jenna has laid eyes on in her 21 years of continuous breathing by the shoulders and pushed her in front of the young actress. Now life without you suddenly looks like something she just completely wasted her precious time on.

Just by looking at Winona and how excitement reflected in her eyes, Jenna could tell how much she beamed with pride for her daughter; it made her heart swell.

"Meet my daughter, Y/n."

There were things Jenna should do when she meets someone. She introduces herself in a calm manner and maybe engage in some friendly talk with them whether if it's the most awkward-est thing in her life or one of the moments she'd like to spend forever in.

What she shouldn't do is slowly have a mid-introduction nosebleed, completely throw out the knowledge that she has the ability to speak and say words while her mouth is half-agape and her eyes wide and never blinking. This rule seems to be more strict when she's convinced she has met the love of your life.

It's safe to say that Jenna checked all the boxes on the latter.

Jenna met your gaze, and oh how that was the stupidest decision she had ever made in her entire life. She felt a blush creep up her cheeks, breath caught in her throat, she tried to speak for a second but nothing came. It was like she was drowning but in the best way possible. And also falling head over heels in the worst way possible.

It's concerning how she almost wants to drop down and marry you on the spot; she's already rehearsing her vows inside her brain.

Jenna raised her hand, a shaky one at that, to offer a handshake. "I'm Jenny," she managed to squeak out, her cheeks burning with embarrassment at fumbling her own damn name. "I mean, Jenna! Sorry, not Jenny. I'm Jenna. Jenna Ortega." Oh, fuck, please just slit my throat already.

In every bad and awkward introduction, there's always someone from the other line slightly concerned but plays with it.

Your eyes crinkled, a bright sight to see that would put all sunrises to shame, and your lips parted like how the clouds part after a gloomy day, letting out a laugh that calmed Jenna's heart almost immediately. It was still running and skipping a fuck ton of beats per second, but your laugh seemed to warm it all.

"I'm Y/n, of course." You held Jenna's faltering eye contact as you reciprocated her gesture, "I'm really only here to accompany my mom," you explained. Please stay here forever. Better yet, be with me. Jenna almost said.

You shook her hand in the most softest way possible, her palm fitting right into yours. "Can't believe I met you, honestly." Jenna heard you mutter under your breath, a squeal following it.

Oh, if falling head over heels over you was a sin, she'd gladly be the epitome of something so mortal.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that was only a week ago. Just imagine how much internal panic she goes through whenever she sees you now.

Jenna repeatedly cursed under her breath, staring at the reflection of herself in the mirror as she gripped the cold parts of the sink, glaring at herself in complete thought.

Almost so serious as if her mind wasn't battling with something so completely stupid she'd rather drown in self-pity and misery.

Jenna Ortega, deemed as America's #1 IT girl who practically swooned all seven continents by now, almost had a near anaphylactic shock when her hand grazed over yours and how you gave her possibly the most sweetest and soul-crushing smile with that stupidest crinkle in your eye to ever exist on this damned earth, holy fuck.

Why should she be so head over heels for you?

She lowered her head in defeat, a heavy sigh escaping her as the same image of your smile flickered in her mind, and now a stupid grin from your stupid image graced her lips.

It was only a week in being on the Beetlejuice set, and she damn near lost her mind.

You were always there, well of course you were there since you were Winona Ryder's daughter, but she didn't expect to be so obsessed with you to the point she needs to go to the bathroom to silently scream whenever she hears or sees your intoxicating smile.

It's sweet. Almost endearing to her.

As if she even has the right to even think about you in that way.

Jenna stepped outside, patting her hands dry by the hem of her shirt. her name already being called out by the directors, their voices only getting louder and louder until it dwindled down to nothing and she could only assume that Winona stopped them, it was still her break after all. She was almost like a real mother to her, a comforting one at that.

She started to take a pattern in her steps before she saw you sitting on the railings of the trailer. More importantly, Jenna's trailer.

Okay, she shouldn't have seen this as a sign from the universe that you liked her back, but she did and that was all the hope that the fate or whatever deity could do because she was too desperate and too drunk on the lack of attention and attraction you were giving her.

But how could she not do that when you look so perfect just being... you? Being everything she wanted? Needed? Just being so damn perfect almost feels like Jenna could die.

"You like my daughter, don't you."

Jenna looked behind her, the sudden voice that crept being Winona, the mother of the daughter she had been smitten for, a noticeable faint smile on her lips. It was more of a statement than a question. A fact, really.

Jenna could almost deny it if it wasn't so accurate. But what was she supposed to say? "Yes, I do like your daughter, in fact, I love her so much I would absolutely give up my very career to buy her the most expensive wedding ring to ever be created from the hands of a human, or even a Greek God perhaps, to show that she owns my entire heart, body, and soul."

Panic was evident, Winona could clearly tell by the way Jenna looked like was scramming to think up of a half-assed excuse.

"Yes—I mean, not like like. I love her, really. She's talented, hardworking, and passionate in the things she talks about. But that's really it; I love Y/n, in a friendly way." Jenna stammered. Even if she was spouting complete lies and nonsense about how she doesn't have a massive crush on you, her gaze was stuck on, of course, you yourself.

Winona arched an eyebrow, "Jenna, I know when someone is horribly in love with my daughter and who’s not."

"The both of you were always somehow joined together, even if none of you were talking. You’re always finding a reason to bring her up in a conversation even if no one was even talking about her. Also, everyone takes notice of how your gaze was always focused on Y/n. Even on scene, you couldn’t take your eyes off of her for a second."

Yeah, that seems about right.

Jenna sighed, her line of sight never laying off of you. It's amazing how you still haven't noticed she and your mother was staring at you like a bunch of stalkers.

"Y/n deserves someone like her, someone in her league," she turned around, now walking in the opposite direction to her original one. She almost sounded like a teenage boy who realized they couldn't get with the popular girl. "She looks like someone even from the heavens above couldn’t fathom they created her from their own mind and hands."

Winona's expression softened as she caught up to Jenna, now walking beside her. "If you, The Jenna Ortega, fail to get her attention and love then it's all over for us." She never heard someone talk so romantic about her daughter, it's truly unfair how the ones who love the most always fall short.

Jenna's steps slowed, her body slumping against the fall as her gaze was fixed on the ground. God, why was she acting like this over you?

The young actress nodded, her hands going up to her face and sliding them down as she spoke, "She's like this incredible and unattainable dream you want to continue after you wake up, Winona." She mumbled through her hands, "Y/n's gorgeous, gentle, charming, and just… perfect." She let go of her face, her hands now on her sides. "It's intimidating just by looking at her, knowing she's the essence of beauty and perfection. Like, how do you compete with that? Overall be someone who she wants to stick by her side?"

The actress observed the young one, Jenna's head down and fidgeting with her rings. Winona could almost say that this was the most vulnerable sight she ever saw from her. "You don't have to match her perfection, let alone measure yourself up to that; you just need to be the missing piece she didn't know she needed. "

Jenna took a deep breath, her head slowly rising, "I just don't want to mess it up. She deserves someone as awesome as her, and if she ever likes me back, I'm afraid of waking up and realizing I'm not enough for her to be someone she loves."

Winona tilted her head, crossing her arms, "Tell you what, I don't know much about my daughter now. She's not closed off, but she isn't open either." She could see how Jenna flicked her head upwards, listening attentively. "But I do know that she's been watching all of your movies and shows up to this point."

Jenna's eyes widened in surprise. She doesn't wanna take any risks, but she doesn't wanna lose any chances either. "She... she has?"

Winona nodded, a soft and warm smile playing on her lips, just like the one you always have if not more comforting.

"I could never hear the end of it. She says you have this genuine charm whenever you speak, you're calm but you're also being true to yourself. Y/n admires you so much, I almost get sick of it," she laughed that pulled a chuckle from Jenna. "You're perfect in her eyes, but that's not what she likes about you. She likes you because you're authentic, yourself." She reached out for Jenna's shoulders, giving it a reassuring squeeze, "I'll be your wingman. I'm sure you're the perfect girl for my daughter."

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And that was maybe two to three months ago.

Now Jenna's thinking that you might be the most oblivious person to ever roam this entire globe. She's been dropping hints everywhere you go and you still wouldn't catch up that she has feelings for you!

Ever since Jenna got into Winona's wing, she knew everything that makes you happy. Your music taste, what type of flowers you like, what type of outings you like, clothes, scents, foods, colors, even legos, just basically everything under the sun she gave to you within a heartbeat.

Jenna gives you flowers everyday, hell even bouquets if she's feeling fancy. Reads and writes you letters, and ever since Winona gave her your number, she's been sending you voicemails of your favorite songs every morning as some goodmorning text. She's been nothing but romantic to you! Was she just missing something?

The only thing that really progressed was something of strangers to friends. The two of you were as close as ever to the point if one of you were needed, somebody probably would need to surgically remove both of you.

But that was it! No nothing, just friends. It was selfish for Jenna to want something more when she has the love of her life close to her as a friend, sure, but she needed just a little bit more before she mentally goes insane.

"I mean, come on!" Jenna complained to Winona, sitting across from the other chair just right beside her trailer, script in her hands but she was paying more attention to Jenna. "Flowers, letters, voicemails… I'm practically screaming 'I like you' at this point." She slumped over the table, "or maybe she's just really ignoring them."

"I think you're thinking too deeply, Jenna," Winona stated, looking over to somewhere far, "maybe you should confess. She's right there."

Jenna was about to stand up and say it all out and die in a hole if she gets rejected until she realized you were wearing something so... fucking gorgeous? stunning? breathtaking? ethereal? She needed a stronger word than all words combined.

It wasn't your everyday casual wear, in fact, it was something you'd wear to go on a date. A date that meant something, a date that you'd go with another person and to confess their love.

Oh, don't fucking tell her she was too slow to confess and some random dude confessed earlier.

"I don't..." Jenna stammered, she could sense that agonizing feeling of her heart sinking, a stinging pain but it was mixed with immense pressure, like she was almost drowning. "I don't really think it's the right time."

Winona let out a sympathetic sigh, "she did tell me that she was going somewhere important." She waved in your direction, grabbing your attention. "Y/n!"

Jenna didn't know it was possible to drown without having any bodies of water near you, now she was fully experiencing it by how her heart sank even further as she heard Winona's words.

She shouldn't be surprised, after all, somebody actually had the guts and mindset to actually confess to you personally without having to hide behind a facade and without having to drop a fuck ton of hints instead of saying it out loud.

It stung. Thinking that someone out there was that one for you. And how that someone was never Jenna. But it was sweet. She winced.

Jenna couldn't shake the pang and sting of disappointment as she watched to walk over to Winona, a smile on your lips like you've met the most wonderful person to ever be in your life. She couldn't read if it was real, and she hoped to God it was fake.

"What's with the get-up?" Winona asked, standing up while giving Jenna the look.

"Going on a date with this guy, he asked me." You smiled, yet again, but it was even brighter.

Yeah, she figured. When did she even assume that you liked women anyway?

"Can I borrow your car, mom, please?" You asked of her, your puppy eyes going in action while you mentally crossed your fingers.

Jenna wasn't the one to brag, but she could drive a car! Not that idiot guy who couldn't even take whatever vehicle to fetch her as a nice gesture. Hell, it was a date for godsakes!

Winona sighed, glancing between Jenna and you. "Sure, you can borrow the car," she stated before digging into her pockets and fetching her car keys, plotting it down to your hands, "but make sure to bring it back in one piece."

Jenna bit her lip, suppressing the urge to completely pull herself out of her chair and scream 'I love you so goddamn much, Y/n! Can't you see I'm the one for you and not some guy who couldn't even go the mile to drive you to the damn date!?' But no. Instead, she stayed in her seat, nodded as a goodbye, and forced yet another smile.

"Thanks for the flowers by the way, Jenna! I should really pay you back sometime." You chuckled, before hugging her head as your way of goodbye. "I'll tell you all about it when I get home."

"Don't worry about the flowers. No need to pay me back," Jenna replied, doing her damn best to keep her tone light and her knuckles not so light. As you hugged her, Jenna couldn't help but savor the moment, imagining that it wasn't a goodbye to go off on some date with some random dude but rather a lovely gesture. "I'll be waiting to hear all about it."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That was atleast three to five hours ago.

Jenna never knew how a 2$ caesar salad bought from a suspicious vendor on the sidewalks could be so depressing but still mock her on how she just lost the love of her life to someone who actually had the guts to confess until she actually experienced it.

It was a slow day on set. Probably because it was already so late at night. There were still some scenes being recorded, but most of it was Winona's.

So along those hours when Jenna wasn't with you or she couldn't text you through the phone, all she could really do was stare from afar and hope that you'd magically have some miraculous change of mind mid-date and maybe you'll soon believe and realize Jenna was the one for you after all.

Of course, life wasn't like a damn movie and that damn date was still going to happen no matter what she does.

Winona sat beside Jenna, offering a sympathetic look at how Jenna was poking around her lettuce. "You know that's her quote-on-quote I don't really give two shits outfit but I still need to look good for a requirement that is people's feelings."

Jenna let go of her fork, damn even it looked sad. "But she looks beautiful."

Winona could almost roll her eyes if not for the young actress wallowing in her own thoughts. "It's because you're head over heels for her, Jenna. She could wear some obnoxious color-clashing clothes and she'd still look like a goddess for you."

Jenna sighed, picking up her fork again and halfheartedly stabbing a folded lettuce leaf. "I mean, don't you?" she asked, glancing at Winona. "You're her mother."

Winona shrugged, "Her clothes, her choice, but I still absolutely would not." She laughed, and her smile brightened when Jenna allowed a smile to crack through her lips.

Jenna could almost face-plant herself into the salad bowl if not for a notification pinging in Winona's phone. A notification that Winona only applied for you.

"...Or you could tell her that she's much better off with you rather than some guy that stood her up." Winona showed the phone to Jenna, your message illuminating on the screen.

y/n

mom can u pick me up? karaoke room 217 stood up on me lol come quick, pls. thx

Jenna would've been lying if she said she wasn't jumping, screaming, throwing up in literal joy.

Well, of course, she was mad that you of all people were stood up, but she was semi-glad that you were.

Jenna's urgency was visible as she scrambled to get out of her seat, grabbing her bag with such hast and making a sudden beeline for the exit.

"Tell her that you can't go! I wanna surprise her," She yelled to Winona, her excitement in her voice echoing through the room. It's almost weird and insane how happy she was about how you were stood up.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You waited for 2 hours.

It wasn't disappointing. You already knew it was just some sort of dare or a prank that one of his friends pulled, but you showed up anyway. Not like because you wanted to play with his feelings; you couldn't do that if you didn't have any.

In fact, you had feelings for Jenna.

Ever since she showed up on your screen, she was the only actress you could ever think about. She was charming, alluring, the only person who could make the daylight so dark if her smile was out of place.

You didn't know her, personally then, but you loved her. You were willing to start wars with the world, may it be against you or may all odds and fate oppose you, you’d do everything for her even if it kills you to be someone who would take all her hidden suffering and plead for tears with your palms locked and thrown away.

And now that you were working with her on set, you couldn't help but be someone you're not. All thanks to you and your mother on reluctantly giving up on the idea of not bringing you to set. You wanted to confess, you really did. It was just a silly little crush like you'd always have but this one with Jenna seemed real and your life would've ended if your feelings were rejected.

Though, even after all that, Jenna was the one you wanted to be with. The one you hoped would walk through that damn door and hug you until your worries and thoughts all disappeared, only met with her voice and her comforting arms.

That would've been a fleeting memory, wishful thinking. That is until the very girl that made you go insane rushed into the room.

What the fuck.

She was exhausted, you could tell by her chest rising and falling as she caught her breath, you couldn't help but smile at the sight of her; looking like she had gone the extra mile and maybe even drove a car on the way instead of running, just to be there with you. You could almost start laughing and be that snarky person you've always been to her if not for everything else fading into the background until Jenna was the only one left.

Without hesitation, she pulled you into a tight embrace, wrapping her arms around your body as she tightened the hug as if you'd die if she ever let go of your body. The warmth of her touch, the comfort in her soul, and her very being brought something so grand as you hugged her back. You feared that letting go would mean losing her forever, and she thought the same way.

"I love you." She murmured on your shoulders, closing her eyes. You notice how her voice cracked with vulnerability and almost sorrow as you tightened your hold on her.

"I love you," she whispered yet again, as if you didn't hear her the firs time. "I love you, I love you, I just love you." She dug her head under your neck, her breath warm on your skin as you waited for her to finish.

You could feel Jenna's heartbeat against your chest, fast and beating while it synced with your own. "I love you, Y/n. You don’t know how many lifetimes I would kill myself for you to look into my soul, everything beneath, and even the darkest parts of my heart so then you’ll see how I perceive you to be everything I look for. I can't understand how you don't understand how much you mean to me. How much your laughter was something I didn't know would be the cure to whatever terminal illness I had in life, your actions being my motivation, your soul being my guiding light, and your smile being something so bright that not even the sun could beat its glory."

Jenna slowly pulled away from you, her eyes searching yours for a reaction. The room was always so silent, but it never felt like it was the funeral of sound itself.

"I'm sorry—That—That wasn't... I didn't—" she stammered, her body already getting up and pulling away from you.

Gently, you reached out and cupped her face with your hands, your thumbs brushing away the newly formed tears that had welled up in her eyes and dripped from her cheeks. You could feel the warmth of her skin beneath your touch, her freckles, and everything that made Jenna her was right beneath your palm. You want nothing but to cherish it.

You couldn't think of a reply. You could, but it would never beat the confession Jenna had for you. It was more than a mere confession, but something out of a book that would put every writer to shame.

"Is this okay?" Your eyes searched for Jenna's consent in hers as you leaned in ever so slightly, her breath lingering on your skin until Jenna's lips met yours in a hesitant, gentle kiss. The touch of her soft lips against yours sent a shiver down your spine, her hands coming up to cradle your face as she melted into you while your own hands found their way to her waist, pulling her closer as the kiss deepened.

Life felt like something you wasted without her lips touching yours. How you felt everything and how you were everything under her soft touch, her presence. It was if every moment before her had been leading to this one. Every heartbeat, every breath, every time you've experienced something happy, sad, or even something conflicted was building up to the moment your lips finally met hers. You felt whole, alive, reassured, and comforted.

Her touch felt like a warm embrace from something so indestructible, a star so far away that only you could see it shine from afar but yet you could feel every inch of its presence.

Then it stopped. The both of you pulled back.

But your heart never did.

"You know I asked for your mom to be my wingman."

"Please don't destroy this moment we have by mentioning my mom, Jenna. I'm serious."

Jenna chuckled, her eyes twinkling, "give her some credit. I never would've confessed to you without her."

You couldn't help but smile, realizing she was still the Jenna you fell in love with. "I guess, but I don't really want to talk about my mom after I just got stood up and then kissed the girl I love."

Jenna's chuckle turned into a soft giggle, her hand finding it's way to your palm as she intertwined her fingers with yours. "Also, for the record, that guy was an idiot."

You nodded after shared laughter. With everything that's going around between the two of you, you almost miss how Winona arrived just in time. Standing by the door with a smile on her face.

But even with Jenna's hand over yours, she'd still fall head over heels for you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

just some fuckass aftermath dialogues:

W: "You finally confessed." J: "Did she tell you?" W: "Well for one she's been awfully cheery and gave me a questioning I love you mom and offered me to go shopping with her."

[mclennonlgbt]

Midas Man review (with spoilers!)

Yesterday I had the unique opportunity to watch a biopic about Brian Epstein. Although the film is currently only available in certain countries, @pauls1967moustache organized a watch party, which I joined. Thank you!!!

"Midas Man" has many advantages. The main one is the leading male role: Jacob Fortune-Lloyd did a great job. He perfectly portrayed Brian's complex personality. He was able to convincingly present both his uncertainty and tremors, as well as his perseverance in promoting the Beatles. Eppy said with full confidence that his boys would be bigger than Elvis - clearly he believed it deeply, even when higher-ups in the music industry laughed in his face. Fortune-Lloyd also convincingly played Brian's emotions related to his sexuality. On the one hand, Epstein did not want to run away from his nature, but on the other - he was well aware that sex between men was a crime and could expose him to blackmail. In one scene, Brian's parents pressure him to be more careful because revealing his sexual orientation in the newspapers could discredit the family business and end the careers of the Beatles and other artists he manages. Brian, filled with guilt, apologizes to his parents for "causing them pain." I have been following this thread with interest and I am glad that it has not been omitted or trivialized.

Unfortunately, the love story disappointed me. It was very cliché. Brian met someone he quickly began to care about. Tex did not reciprocate his feelings, he just wanted to have fun and benefit from Epstein's influence. Ultimately, he left without saying goodbye, stealing money and documents. I know the real Brian dated some shady guys, but it wasn't portrayed very convincingly in the movie. Perhaps Edward Speleers, the actor playing Tex, failed.

How did the Beatles fare? Not bad, but... nothing more. I must praise Blake Richardson, who played Paul - his facial expressions were very reminiscent of McCartney's. Blake was very authentic, I felt like I was looking at Paul. I also liked Wallace Campbell as Ringo. Unfortunately, the remaining Beatles were exaggerated. I'm thinking specifically about George (played by Leo Harvey Elledge). John, on the other hand, lacked depth. I had the impression that he was just a cheeky kid who thought he was entitled to everything. The young Lennon had a more complex personality. Besides, Jonah Lees who played him almost didn't look like him at all xD Speaking of which, the wigs looked terrible in most scenes. I guess there wasn't enough budget for it.

I was surprised (in a negative sense) by the complete omission of an important thread in the history of the Beatles: Brian's infatuation with John. Whether or not Lennon reciprocated the feeling, it was largely Epstein's motivation to pursue the band. When we jumped from 1963 to 1964 and there was no mention of the trip to Barcelona, ​​I was confused. Instead, the creators decided to focus on a fictional romance between Brian and Tex.

The advantage of the biopic is that viewers have the opportunity to meet other artists that Epstein managed. In one scene, Brian proudly introduces us to Billy J. Kramer, Tommy Quickly and... Cilla Black (Darci Shaw). Brian and Cilla's relationship is definitely one of the most touching and adorable elements of the entire film. It is clear that the singer is Epstein's favorite, and not only in professional terms. They are simply a pair of devoted friends. From what I understood, Cilla knew about Brian's orientation and fully accepted it.

"Midas Man" is a decent movie, better than I expected. However, these are not the heights of cinematography. I had the impression that Brian was presented somewhat sweetly, as a person without flaws (perhaps his family took part in consulting the script?). I think a rating of 7/10 would be fair.

[tmntkiseki]

I have finally watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (beware for OPINIONS)

And the tl;dr opinion: I am surprised by how much I liked it

Obviously, it wasn't as good as the first movie and I definitely have a few issues with it, the biggest one being that with the exception of Donatello, the turtles barely used their weapons. I know this was because people complained that the first movie was too violent, but C'MON, PEOPLE. If Leonardo has a pair of swords strapped to his back, he should be using them, damn it!

My other big issue is Casey being completely absent from the plot. I might have been forgiving towards this if they provided an explanation somewhere in the script (something like "His mother is not doing well and he needs to take care of her,") but he's just gone with no acknowledgement that he even exists and it is so jarring when he was such a prominent member of the cast in the first film. Subsequently, I'm extremely divided on Keno. I do really like him as a character, and I wouldn't mind if they brought him back in another iteration at some point, but he ultimately feels like a substitute for Casey that they didn't actually need.

But otherwise, most of my complaints range from minor nitpicks to stuff that I'm not necessarily sure is actually a problem. For instance, the turtle costumes don't look as good, but I feel like that's more to do with the brighter lighting rather than a genuine decline in the overall quality (the darker lighting of the first movie did a lot to hide the imperfections in the suits.) April being played by a different actress certainly is weird, but Paige Turco does a pretty acceptable job playing our intrepid reporter, even if I do still prefer Judith Hoag. The overuse of slapstick comedy is a little grating at times, but there were a lot of jokes that made me laugh so I can let it slide. You win some, you lose some.

The really interesting thing though is that unlike the final two seasons of the 2003 series, the tonal change didn't actually bother me all that much. I think it was because despite the tonal change, the turtles, for the most part, still felt very in character when compared to the first movie. In Fast Forward and Back to the Sewer, there were a number of lines that genuinely went into "He would not fucking say that" territory, but here? Yeah, it' still the same turtles from before, just a little bit goofier.

And now for a bulleted list of pretty much everything I liked or am at least accepting of.

Even if I'm sad that Leo, Raph, and Mikey barely use their weapons, the fight choreography for the movie was still fantastic.

I know that both Raphael and Donatello's voices were recast for this movie and in terms of Raphael, Laurie Faso does such a convincing impression of Josh Pais performance that you can barely tell that the actor was changed.

As for Donny, I actually like Adam Carl's voice for him better than Corey Feldman's (not sure if this is a controversial opinion or not, but that is how I feel)

Speaking of Donny, they did put more emphasis on him being the tech guy of the turtles. That was the only thing I found off about him in the first movie, so I'm glad about this.

Listen, I know Jordan Perry's character is basically a stand-in for Baxter Stockman and he might as well just have been Baxter Stockman, but there is something I just absolutely love about him and his dumb bow tie.

Tokka and Rahzar... not entirely sure how I feel about these two? I think I like their concept enough and for the sake of the movie's plot they were utilized reasonably well. I just wish they had more personality than "literal infants." (Also, I feel dumb. I've been pronouncing Rahzar's name as "Raah-zahr," but for most of the movie, it's pronounced like razor.)

Even though there aren't really any significant character arcs in this movie and thus very little character development for the turtles, I did really like the brief angst that Don and his brothers had after finding out their mutation was a complete accident.

Frikkin Super Shredder. His appearance was extremely brief, but I can understand why the concept has been revived so many times in the franchise since this movie because it is so cool.

Do genuinely love the movie's soundtrack. Who the hell is Vanilla Ice, though?

[h2llish]

vil rambles cuz im still sick

listen, everyone who literally views vil as this arrogant asshole who likes looking at himself in the mirror every morning has got to be some of the most blind idiots i've ever seen. his insecurities have played out right in front of us?? he is literally so insecure it's blaringly obvious???

it pisses me off watching people completely mischaracterize him as some harsh, insincere character who would bully and pick at someone's insecurities like a fucking prick.

those who genuinely see and regard vil properly as the type of person who has so many insecurities and stresses from living as an actor/model/etc, have honestly earned my respect. his character is interesting and having him mischaracterized as less peeves me.

i don't like to compare trauma, even in characters. trauma is different and revealed in every person differently.

and yes, vil has trauma. living life under spotlight and having his entire life on screen for everyone to see, is his trauma. while he may enjoy his line of work, and has a very supportive father in his corner, that does not make it any easier for someone who grew up under expectations and ridicule since the moment he started walking.

vil's insecurities stem from his roles in movies; he's been casted and sought out for the role of a villain even when he only ever wished to play the hero. since he first played the villain role as a child, bullying the hero (neige) he was automatically perceived as a villain outside of the role as well. and while he may not seem all that bothered, i think it does get to him. to constantly be casted as a villain because he "fits that role so well", and then to have people see him as a villain outside of it can be dehumanizing and painful ━ hence, his insecurities.

a lot of people fail to realize that the life of a celebrity isn't all its chalked up to be. they're human too, they have insecurities and flaws, parts of themselves they don't want others to see. and i think vil does a good job at presenting that.

his overblot revealed that sometimes our insecurities build up and spill over and we may do things we regret. in this case, paired with magic, it was an attempt on a rival's life.

unlike leona or maybe azul, he does regret his actions. he admits his wrongs and that he let his insecurities lead him down a path that could've been disastrous had it not been for rook and everyone else.

i understand that his confidence can be misleading; "if he's so insecure why is so confident?" because idiots, a person with insecurities can also have confidence. while vil is insecure about his stand in beauty, he's also confident in his looks. his insecurities about his looks come from his one-sided rivalry with neige. neige receives more compliments and views and offers, so that comes back to vil and he views himself inferior.

a lot of people seem to think he hates neige. but he doesn't, even he has admitted that he's only jealous. he holds a lot of respect for neige. he knows about neige's tough childhood, and he knows how hard he works, but he does not pity him for it all the same. his feelings for neige have only been jealousy brought on by the views of fans and media, and believe it or not, jealousy is not hate.

vil is genuinely a decent person. after his overblot he continues to thank those that helped in stopping him, and then proceeds to take responsibility for being the reason they were all so tired during the competition. he even takes his own money to offer to everyone after he broke his promise to split the earnings when they won. he also isn't upset with rook for voting for the winning team; he respects that he was able to do so without feeling much guilt. (while i still want to fight his ass. fuck you, you damn peacock spitting mf /affectionate). and then proceeds to give his money to the mc so they can fix up the dorm.

i understand his first impression wasn't great. even i thought i'd hate him, but after getting to know him, i saw that my opinion on him was stupid; understandable at first, sure, but false.

he's strict, yeah, but he means well. he just wants everyone to be healthy, and that includes routine and taking care of your body. it may seem a bit obsessive, but it's his way of caring for those around him, even if it isn't how, you like it or how you'd prefer to be cared for.

i think what i like about vil, is that he genuinely tries to make things right. unlike those before him, he wishes to apologize for the trouble he caused and wants to avoid having his jealousy take ahold of him so strongly again.

and addressing those that seem to think he would attack a person's insecurities, you're wrong. i doubt he'd try to hurt a person by pointing out their own insecurities when he himself has insecurities. he knows what it's like to have your insecurities take hold of you and consume your thoughts, why would he do that to another person? if he does find himself saying something that might be an insecurity for another person, i don't think he'd do so on purpose. he probably intended to help, but in the process hurt them. i just don't believe he'd want to hurt someone by rubbing their insecurities in their face.

overall, he's not a bad person or some asshole who would hurt someone on purpose. he's confident but insecure, and he's strict but means well. stop regarding him so wrongly please, it's actually fucking annoying.

[icallhimjoey]

In 120 Hours

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: You work as a temp and are offered a very exclusive interview for a very exclusive job. You see, someone needs a personal assistant for a very eventful week, and you happen to be the perfect fit.

CW / disclaimer: 18+, language, drinking, rpf, fem!reader

Author’s note: part three! quick thanks to choke-me-joey and flouraie for the stellar help I asked for and very quickly received! you're brilliant, amazing amazing, big thanks!!

Wordcount: 3.2K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

You learned the hard way that Joe slept with his TV on. Volume set to the number high, what ever the fuck that was - it was loud.

The sound coming from upstairs only stopped when you went for a morning shower, and you thought to yourself, actually, Joe, you better keep that fucking TV on, because this is the perfect fucking time to watch TV now that people in your house are awake.

Getting yourself a good pair of earplugs was going to go onto your to do list of that day.

In the shower you had flashbacks to the night before. Of how Joe seemed to always either be holding two drinks, double fisting it, or none at all, both hands then hidden in his pockets instead. Of how he fiddled with one of his rings with the thumb of his same hand over dinner, making you realise you'd been doing the same thing with yours. Of how he’d spoken to important important people, just for a second, said hi, shook hands, exchanged pleasantries and then immediately went to find you again to stand next to. Of how he'd introduced you to every single person that stopped to talk to him, and he would just give them your name. No occupation. Just, your name, no further information.

You would see their confused faces, and wouldn't hesitate to explain that you worked for Joe. All of them would relax instantly when they learnt you weren't important. There was no need to impress you, and so, full attention would return to Joe as they talked about the film they just saw, all the people it involved, and then about all the things they knew about Joe. People just kept telling Joe things about himself, and it was odd, but Joe acted like they were totally normal conversations to have with random people he'd just met.

You didn’t understand what it meant when they told you, "Joe tends to wander", because every time you stepped away from him, even just to give him some space, he’d search for you. The first time it happened, you were sure it was just to check if you were all right, but then it kept happening. Even when you went to the toilets, you found Joe right outside the doors with an air of soft cluelessness about him as you stepped back out.

But then someone would come up to him, and it’d vanish in an instant.

People loved Joe.

They had good reason to. You understood. Seeing up close how Joe made the most intense eye contact with every single person he spoke to, really listened to them, tuned in properly, you got to see how all of them fell in love with him. Men, women - just fucking everyone.

Made you realise that the spell you were under was a universal one. Good. So it wasn't really your fault. It was all blood on his hands, not yours. And it seemed like Joe didn't even notice his effect on others. He carried a charming obliviousness that only heightened it all. Either that, or he really was that good of an actor.

You mingled a little yourself, found some other personal assistants and after talking about the celebrities you all belonged to – just vague descriptions, everyone was tied back by extensive NDAs, which was fine, you wouldn't know half of the important people anyway – you found there was literally nothing else you had in common with them. They were all nineteen year-olds, dressed to the nines like they were celebrities themselves, all eager to be influencers with perfect insta themes. And you were just a temp, chasing money and if you were lucky, a good time alongside that.

You were lucky. So far everything about this job had been pinch-me moments stacked upon each other and it was already getting hard to reach.

You had two sips of a drink until you saw how Joe was necking his, then decided, maybe it was best if you stayed completely sober. You spent the rest of the evening declining drinks from Joe until you started feeling rude for it.

"Are you having fun?" Joe asked when he started getting tipsy.

"Are you?" you spoke around a laugh.

"I am!"

"Then so am I."

You’d lost count on how many times you’d told your driver sorry after he’d waited outside a random pub for over an hour because Joe had found a couple people that wanted to keep the party going. Cut to two hours later, and Joe was asking people for a lighter with a cigarette hanging from his lips, knowing full well he had one in his own pocket. Joe was drunk, and it was a bit silly how you ended up having to push Joe into the car, onto the backseat, your hands with their fingers spread wide on his butt cheeks because, "Move over Joe, I have to fit in there too."

Joe’d slept the whole drive home.

Joe's day didn't need to start until noon, which is when you'd be picked up to go to a New Upcoming Talent panel that Joe got to speak at. This granted you time to get some things done whilst he slept upstairs still.

You got breakfast. Accepted the Tesco delivery and organized the fridge. Screenshot a lot more furniture for Joe to look at later. Laid out a bunch of sharpies beside a stack of the Eddie photographs - on the kitchen counter, because Joe didn't have a table - because there were five thousand of them, and they all needed to be signed as soon as possible.

And you kind of wished you could sneak into his room to get your hands on those messy suitcases, sort those out, but you weren't that insane. Not yet, anyway.

Joe's schedule said wake-up call at 9:30, and so at 9:30, you called up the stairs,

"Coffee?"

And got a groggy, muffled "Please," in return.

"Knock, knock," you said, not even knocking, but Joe's bedroom door was already open and he was still in bed and maybe that was why you'd been able to hear his TV all night. "Good morning,"

"Morning," Joe forewent the good. He was hungover.

He was lying on his stomach, his duvet only half covering him, and he pushed himself up onto his elbows, half hugging his pillow as he watched you place down a coffee on his bedside table.

"What's your favourite colour?"

You just stood beside his bed, and it took Joe a second to fully grasp what you'd just asked him. He looked up at you with squinty eyes, one of them practically closed still.

"What?"

"Your favourite colour,"

"It's," Joe let himself fall back into his pillow. Curls everywhere. "It's too early for that shit, which fourteen-year-old wants to know?"

"This one." you said, pointing a quick finger at your own face. Joe didn't see. "For your house, I'm getting you furniture. What colour won't you get sick off being around all the time?"

"Lime green," Joe spoke into his pillow.

"Fuck off,"

Joe grinned, eyes still closed. Then he took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of coffee and remembering it was right there within arm's reach.

"I don't know, do whatever," he propped himself up again, now reaching for his coffee and going in for a sip.

"Careful," you warned, because you really would do whatever.

"All right, give me a second," Joe said, "Let me finish this and have a shower first,"

"Yes, of course!" you said, instantly aware that it was weird that you were in Joe's bedroom, staring at his bare back, shoulder muscles working and on full display, and you started making your way back to the door.

"Breakfast is waiting in the guest room,"

"The guest room?" Joe looked back over his shoulder, face scrunched up in confusion and you guessed in pain from his hangover.

"It's the only room that has actual seating,"

And so half an hour later, you were sat opposite Joe in the room you'd tried your best to sleep in hour earlier, with the bed made to look like you'd never even touched it. At home you never made your bed, but, knowing Joe was going to be sat eating breakfast in this room made you tidy yourself into non-existence.

After Joe asked four times if you had also made yourself a coffee, and if you really had already eaten, he tucked in and you used the moment to show him pictures.

Joe liked everything, which didn't help. So you made him choose between some, and got a sense of what he liked.

"Are you sure that I'm really allowed to just... get you things? Furnishing a house isn't exactly cheap, you know?"

Joe chewed, swallowed a bite, said, "Yea, you've got a card, right?" and went in for another.

You'd been given a credit card to use for whatever Joe wanted and slash or needed. It was one of the fancy ones: shiny, black, didn't even have a name on.

"If you don't give me a budget, I'll max it out,"

"Go for it, enjoy yourself,"

Fuck. Joe was already sexy enough as it was. He didn't need to be telling you things like that, Jesus Christ.

"Can't make it any worse than it is now,"

And you disagreed, but you didn't say anything. Instead you went over the schedule for the day.

Panel. Two film screenings. Industry Happy Hour. Those were the big things. Tomorrow there was an early morning photoshoot, so maybe, let's not do pubs after until late again, you said, and Joe just smiled, said, "There's always pubs after," but you'd given him a face, as the hypercompetent personal assistant that you were, and then he'd just nodded.

That afternoon you were sat in an audience, down near the front, but all the way on the side, and Joe was up on a stage with several other people - none of whom you knew - and it was all questions about being new on the scene. Upcoming talent. What is it like to step foot into this industry? As if Joe didn't already have years of work under his belt. But fine, it was whatever.

The room was packed full of people, and you weren't sure you were really allowed to be there, hogging a seat, but Joe had insisted.

"No, you can go sit, she can go sit, right? Yea, go sit, somewhere on the side, it's fine,"

And so you'd gone to sit and listen, but not before Joe had asked if you had any chewing gum, which, of course you did. Best PA ever, remember?

You got to observe. Joe seemed nervous. You only saw because you weren't following at all what they were talking about - you were just watching Joe, and every time Joe got to answer a question, he'd look just past the moderator and looked directly at you as he answered.

You noticed you started giving encouraging little nods, like Joe was an anxious kid who was about to ask a stranger a question for the first time. You hoped it didn't come off condescending, but it honestly felt like he needed secret little signs of encouragement from you, so you gave them. You were glad Joe got to hold a microphone, because you knew that giving his hands a job meant he wouldn't be constantly fiddling. Like you were.

Later that day, with several pieces of furniture ordered, you were adding delivery times into Joe's schedule, tapping away on your phone as Joe networked, when suddenly a hand moved hair that was hanging down your face behind your ear.

No! Too soft! Too tender! Too close!

"Let's go, we're going for a drink."

"You've got a 6AM wake up call," you warned, not even looking up from your phone as your face burned up, because, what the fuck?! How were you ever going to make eye contact with him again and be normal about it? You already barely were normal about anything to begin with!

"Just one drink!" Joe practically begged, as if you were his mother and you got to tell him when to go home. Did you get to tell him when to go home? You weren't his manager. You basically kind of just had to get him from A to B, right?

"7AM photoshoot, one that'll have your face in," you looked up now, just your eyes, and then Joe flashed you that smile again. That fucking smile.

"All right," you sighed, caving far too easily. "But just one!"

"Just one, I promise. We'll make it a good one."

And then of course, it wasn't just one, obviously it wasn't, because Joe found out that a big director was at the same place you'd just walked into and with a little Dutch courage, he went to sit down next to him and they got to talk film. Joe did better one on one, two beers in front of him, in a familiar place he probably had been going to for years. He seemed relaxed, wasn't going through his drinks at lightning speed, and so you sat at the bar, drank a Sprite, kindly didn't talk to any of the guys that tried to talk to you, and stared at your notes app, the empty page staring right back at you.

What the fuck do people even say when they win awards besides thank you?

You stared at your phone, tried some things, but deleted all of it every single time, until suddenly a hand reached over and a finger typed, hi. You recognised the hand. Of course, you recognised the hand. Had you seen his hands? You'd recognise his hands.

"I'm going for a smoke, can we leave in 10?" you saw the guy he'd been speaking to - Steve Jobs kind of looking dude - step out and join the other smokers outside the pub on the pavement.

"Car's already waiting, so whenever you're ready,"

Joe raised his eyebrows, nodded like he was impressed with you. Except you hadn't really done anything, had you? You had just let the driver know where you were. Was Joe even aware that the car was always waiting for him?

You watched Joe smoke from your barstool where you finished your drink when suddenly, your phone rang.

Joe's management.

"Hello,"

"Why aren't you at home?" someone accused, and you recognised the voice. This was one of the guys that interviewed you.

Um, cool way to say hello, asshole, you thought.

"Because Joe is networking," you adopted the same accusatory tone. They'd been very clear on the networking, had said Joe had to do a lot of it. So surely, this was good. You were doing a good thing.

"Industry Happy Hour ended over an hour ago," he sighed in frustration. "Did we not tell you Joe wanders?"

"Joe's not wandering! I'm looking at him right now! He's talking to-"

"Oh my God, he took you wandering with him?"

You frowned in confusion. Did wandering mean going for unplanned drinks? If that was the case, you wandered in your free time a lot.

"He took her with him," you heard him say to someone else. "That's why- Jesus, okay," back to you now, "He's not answering his phone, please tell him to answer his phone, and get him back home as quick as you can, he's got a-"

"6AM wake up call, I know,"

You didn't appreciate this check-up that was really doing its very best to make you feel inadequate and bad at your job. What were they expecting of you? You had reminded Joe of his early morning start the next day, but he had wanted to go for a drink anyway. So what?

You got a few more questions about expenses made that day, and you explained that Joe asked you to buy some things for the house. You weren't going to tell him that technically, you'd asked Joe if you could decorate literally the whole thing, and he'd given the go ahead without much further thought. What was the use of giving this guy more reasons to yell at you?

"All right, just making sure. I'm sorry, I guess we just assumed someone would be home to sign for some scripts we sent over."

And that was that.

Joe knocked on the window, caught your attention and nodded his head for the two of you to leave.

In the car on the way back, you asked Joe to check his phone, and he groaned when he did. Eight missed calls and three messages asking him where he was and why he wasn't answering.

"I'll call him back tomorrow,"

"No need, he just needed me to tell you to answer next time,"

Joe chuckled, got rid of all the notifications and then put his phone away. You stared out of the window at London passing you by, until you felt Joe's eyes on you. When you turned to look, he smiled politely.

"Did you have fun?" he asked, just like he had the night before.

Did you have fun sitting around, waiting for Joe to finish watching films? How were you going to break the news to him delicately?

"Um... did you?" you asked diplomatically, and it made Joe huff out a laugh through his nostrils.

Actually, you did have fun. Buying a lot of things with money that wasn't your own was a different kind of thrilling. Retail therapy with a different kind of guilt attached. Fun though, still. Definitely fun. You were about to tell Joe, but he beat you when he asked,

"Not that into the attention you got, then?"

You frowned quizzically. When had you gotten attention?

"Oh, come on, I saw at least six guys come up to you tonight, giving it their best shot," Joe revealed and you scoffed loudly. Cool, cool, cool. No, it was fine to learn that Joe had been looking at you for prolonged periods sat on a barstool all night. Definitely, so fine.

"Yea, all right," you instinctively brought fingers to your ring, and you reached for the wrong finger first, before finding it on your other hand and you saw Joe look.

"They did!" Joe argued.

"Stop," you shoved his arm, gave him a look, and you both laughed before you turned back to look out the window, and for a little while it was silent. You liked London at night better than during the day, you thought. Less people. Streetlights on, all of them reflected on the wet streets. Not necessarily quieter in some places, but still nicer, anyway.

"No, it's good," Joe then said. "Don't want you getting distracted when you're supposed to be mine for the week."

And when you looked, he was staring out of the window too, and you couldn't read his face and fucking hell, Joe, what the fuck were you doing?!

---

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[justafriend-ql]

2024 gmmtv bl + gl predictions/wishlist

okay okay, i know it's only july. but i'm a little crazy, so i'm already thinking about the 2024 lineup. some general observations that are informing my predictions:

the 2023 lineup features 9 bls and 1 gl (out of 22 total series). 2 of the bls are ensemble casts (our skyy 2, only friends). so we can probably expect ~10 ql series next year.

as a general rule, it seems like gmmtv's main pairs will get a series every other year or so, although some popular pairings may be mains two years in a row.

they also seem to give lead roles to one or two new main pairings per year - usually pairs that have been floated as side couples in series that aired the year prior (e.g., milklove, perthchimon)

*please note that this is entirely speculation and i don't intend to start any wars in the notes. also: i will be talking about the pairs from an analytical/business perspective; if that makes you uncomfortable, i recommend you just keep scrolling*

bl predictions (in no particular order)

winny x satang series

rationale: given the success of their pairing in my school president and the many fanmeets/brand sponsorship events they've had together this year (including some solo events abroad), this is almost a guarantee. genre prediction: i'm guessing it will be a romcom with a bit of a darker/angstier edge to it, since winny and satang are great at the enemies to lovers trope and are talented dramatic actors.

2. pond x phuwin series

rationale: since fish upon the sky, these two have been a very popular pairing (particularly in thailand, it seems). along with joongdunk and geminifourth, they're part of the 'new gen' group that gmmtv has do a lot of fanmeets/brand sponsorship events (which means $$$ for gmmtv). their last series, never let me go, aired mostly in 2023 but was scheduled for 2022, so a 2024 series would be in keeping with the every-other-year rule. genre prediction: i think their next series will lean more towards the romcom end of the spectrum, given that never let me go was a lakorn and (regrettably, in my opinion) wasn't as popular as fish upon the sky.

3. gemini x fourth series

rationale: this is another no-brainer, really. this pair is so wildly popular that they're already having a solo concert together. both are very good actors (and performers) despite their young age. gmmtv would be stupid not to capitalize on their popularity and skill. genre prediction: probably still romcom, but with a little more "maturity" than my school president. they're young, but that hasn't ever stopped gmmtv from upping the intensity of the physical intimacy, in particular (e.g., phuwin was 19, about the same age as gemini and fourth, when never let me go was filmed).

4. first x khaotung series

rationale: though these two certainly aren't bound to the branded pair model, they excel when they act opposite to each other. the eclipse garnered a lot of popularity for them, and that's only going to grow after only friends. genre prediction: these two can carry heavy, emotional scenes and dark themes extremely well, so it'd be great to see them in a darker genre (the eclipse, while dealing with heavy topics, still had a lot of lighter romcom moments). personally, i'd love to see them lead a p'aof production, which might be likely since p'aof worked with (and was impressed with) the two of them on moonlight chicken. a period drama with these two would be super interesting.

5. neo x mark series

rationale: these two are the wildcard pairing in only friends and were originally the side couple in cooking crush (before they switched out mark due to overbooking him). this is consistent with gmmtv's tendency to float a couple in a series or two before giving them a series of their own. they're both in the same boat, having been relegated to the "funny side character" role for a while, but they have tremendous potential to do more, and gmmtv seems to recognize that now with their decision of casting them in only friends. genre prediction: hmm this one is tricky, since these two can do romcom and drama equally well. if i had to guess, they'll give neo and mark an "edgy"/"sexy" sereies because they're willing to go there and they can execute it well, which isn't necessarily true of all other gmmtv pairs.

6. force x book series

rationale: okay, i know i said gmmtv usually doesn't give pairs a main series two years in a row. but in forcebook's case, i think it's likely. for some reason that i don't personally understand, enchante didn't seem to resonate with a lot of people, but their popularity has skyrocketed since a boss and a babe and will only grow more when only friends airs. i think gmmtv will go with the momentum and give them another series in 2024. genre prediction: forcebook have done two romcoms already, so hopefully they'll get to branch out into another genre. personally, i think a mafia-type series led by these two would be really sick.

gl predictions (in no particular order)

gmmtv is testing the gl waters with milklove-led 23.5 this year. given the popularity of idol factory's gap the series (which surpassed 2gether's viewing stats by a wide margin), gmmtv will need to invest in the gl market in order to remain competitive. that's why i think there will be at least 2 gls in 2024, rather than just one.

view x june series

rationale: view and june will star in dangerous romance and 23.5 this year, indicating that gmmtv is looking to brand them or at least give them main roles in 2024. they're both talented actresses who have a lot of experience and can easily handle heavier material. it's just a matter of how well they're received as a pair in the series that air in 2023. genre prediction: we don't know what their dynamic will be like in their 2023 series, but i think a lakorn-style, enemies to lovers narrative would suit view and june well and give them a chance to showcase their great acting skills. a sci-fi series would also be really neat!

2. sizzy girl group series

rationale: this one might be more of a personal wish than a likely prediction, since gmmtv hardly gives sizzy the time of day. but! jan and aye have played queer characters before, and ciize has repeatedly expressed interest in doing a gl (even talking to jane about being paired together). they're all great actresses and performers (sizzy concert when??), so it really would be amazing if they got their own series. genre prediction: i'm feeling a rom-com for them. my personal dream is a series about a literal girl group of performers (like sizzy itself) so that there can be original music for each episode like in my school president. bonus points if nanon can guest star as their slaytastic manager (i'm never getting over their love score collab).

ensemble predictions (in no particular order)

given the growing number of branded and un-branded pairs within gmmtv, gmmtv will have to lean more into ensemble series (like only friends) in order to give everyone screen-time.

a light-hearted romcom (like our skyy 2)

rationale: this would be an opportunity to give airtime to any branded pairs that don't have their own series, or more work for popular pairs. a light-hearted romcom with a stacked ensemble cast would be a huge moneymaker for gmmtv with lots of fanmeet/concert opportunities (like my school president). cast predictions: we could see many members of the my school president gang (geminifourth, markford, potentially also aun and prom) here. this could also be a chance to float new gl pairings!

2. a more mature, jojo-style series (like only friends)

rationale: other production companies are ratcheting up the heat of their series; gmmtv will do so too in order to stay competitive. for better or for worse, sex sells, and like only friends, a series like this would attract a lot of attention and excitement on social media. cast predictions: this is where some of their older, more established pairs come into play. we could see jimmysea or offgun here. or even joongdunk or pondphuwin, since these two pairs are being pushed in the direction of higher heat. this could look like a mafia or gang-war style series, or maybe something with paranormal/horror themes.

bonus: things that probably won't happen but i would desperately like to see

namtan, tu, ploypach and/or prim gl (please i'm begging i would DIE; can you imagine a period piece with these four?? the costumes alone would have me on my knees)

joongdunk/pondphuwin vampire series (i don't care if it's cringe; did you see joongdunk's dumdum performance??)

breaking up branded pairs (imagine, for example, if joongdunk/pondphuwin switched partners; or winnysatang/markford; or jimmysea/forcebook)

fluke pusit main series (i mean, come on)

midnight museum season 2 khathadome canon (not brothers, please be serious)

okay, that's it. feel free to add your own predictions/wishlist. remember: these are just my own ideas and opinions! don't take anything i say too seriously haha

[jotadoul]

i was having Election Sickness so after putting it off for like 10 years i finally agreed to rewatch escaflowne with anka because they've never seen it.

to contextualise this, i feel like i have to write a timeline of escaflowne in my life because i was orbsessed with the film and to a lesser degree the series— all interest orbited folken. i dyed my hair blue and painted his little teardrop on my face in 7th/8th grade until my mom got me a ... i don't know what it was. some kind of temporary tattoo... paint? i had to scrub it off with alcohol pads each day. yeah. first kintype. i saved up $300 in high school (2006/2007) by selling off entire sketchbooks to buy a cosplay of him that i've never worn because the maker referenced colours from one of the prominent scans online, which skew far warmer than the blue in the film. HUGE L.

following escaflowne, i made a dramatic 200pg comic when i was 12-13 about guys with wings living on a floating fortress, and brother drama. but the series never held my attention in the same way. i have theories...

full disclosure i'm 100 years old, and i've seen the series many times... i own the special box sets of the bandai version of the show & film. the show had a grip on me for years, but i'm pretty sure that even at the time i couldn't tell you why. many things about it rubbed me the wrong way— i was clearly drawn to it, and reacting strongly to something about it, but at the time i wasn't love with it.

i always prefered the film for its gorgeous, stunning actually, handling of colour and light. like there is such a lusciousness to it. it is an unbelievably beautiful work of art and i recommend watching it even just as something to look at, like, everyone's skills are on full display. i also really genuinely adore adaptations— as a concept, especially if in as direct conversation with the source as this film is.

when i got into escaflowne as a kid, it was at the exact time i was also watching/reading Berserk, Akira, Cowboy Bebop, Boogiepop Phantom, the Animatrix... Memories and Paranoia Agent would follow soon after. and i was enjoying the emotional realism of those series, paired with more naturalistic art.

but escaflowne's incongruous packaging fooled me. it is exactly as brutal and emotional as those other series, but you have to peer through the shojo veneer and see that the shojo tropes are actually threads being followed to their often uncomfortable conclusions— they're being given gravity, rather than being left at a surface level of importance. it isn't cliche, it's examining cliche, and setting a new standard in doing so. on rewatch it's really interesting to see that sincerity in something that could easily be written off as a "shojo love triangle." instead, these so-called tropes coexist with the gruesome, dark, despairing, uncomfortable. and it's completely different from the type of "shojo/moe but GRIMDARK... moe but GURO, are you TRIGGERED? i'm SUBVERTING the GENRE"

escaflowne isn't doing Cute But Edgy. it's neither cute nor edgy. it's edgy if Berserk is edgy, and i don't consider Berserk edgy at all— to me it doesn't intend to provoke from that immature place. it's earnest, and difficult, and really sad. and as i rewatch escaflowne, i'm impressed by what lies beneath. there's so much i missed when i saw it as a kid. and stuff i missed even in the last time i watched it as an adult. but i can also see very clearly what i didn't miss, and what kept it in rotation, remembering scenes and songs for the rest of my life, and citing the pacing in my approach to comics.

escaflowne has really interesting cinematic qualities that i associate with live action. i'm wholly convinced by long shots that likely, partially, exist for economical reasons— but they make sense in the flow of the narrative, and they're framed such that you can rasily imagine, without even trying, how it would 100% work shot for shot with actors and sets. i do not want this, of course. i'm just saying they set it up with filmic sensibility.

really smart strange pacing, mood shifts, and a level of uncompromising brutality more associated with shonen, a level of heartwrenching that only the right combo of hope and hopeless can evoke, and emotional discomfort with a maturity— an observed perspective— that i associate with something like chainsaw man.

it's just weird with the art. i understand why it's paired that way: it's intentional trickery. i just wish the style was a bit more like nobuteru yuki's other (contemporary) work. like the layouts and moods add to such a lifelike quality... the film maintains so much more realism in its figures and approach, BUT, watching the film, you do get the unequivocal impression this is what it was always supposed to be. even just citing simple examples, the background/environment paintings and atmospheric colour are as tasteful, the heaving, slow weight of the mecha was always intentional... so much of what's there already appears. but you really have to forgive the oddness of the faces to see it! which is frustrating!

so. everyone i think agrees, even without ever seeing it, that the escaflowne OST is on beast mode. it is undeniably hardcore. but in watching it, the series rewards you by doing something i don't immediately associate with most anime— creating an unsettling mood by, for example, pairing hopeful music with distressing scenes, and vice-versa. escaflowne does a Lot of showing rather than telling, using cues like this to create an atmosphere of discomfort and wonder. i've said it 100 times, but one of my favourite moments in FILM (like all of film, lol) is when/where "i can't stop loving you" plays in rintaro's Metropolis. which is almost actually literally the same as Araki titling the last chapter of Stone Ocean "what a wonderful world." this type of editing and combination of themes is heartbreaking to me, and i think escaflowne succeeds at this, interweaving it throughout the series.

the tv anime also spares time and attention for strangely lifelike movements, which are mostly absent in the film because everything in the film is allowed such lushness and fluidity that these small, subtle, characterising movements and emotionally affecting timing/cuts that elevate a 20-min episode aren't the same type of crucial in a more broad, epic presentation. however, the 20-min episodes of escaflowne— as the series progreses, like specifically in the back half— FEEL like epics on their own. so much gets packed into each but the timing, how information is dispersed, is like... insane. i can't describe it. because if i were to say it feels longer, that'd almost imply it were dragging— which is rarely the case. it is a VERY tight show where everything is relevant yet there's no pre-existing lore with which to be weighed down; everything happens in real time, cause and effect, showing, not telling.

i don't watch a lot of (mainly post-00s) anime because— and this is a critique of Myself more than anything— i struggle to focus on stuff that's more... if not more stylistically cartooned, then more emotionally cartoonish. like there's a withholding of emotion, or an exaggeration of it. obviously i love the 1993-1994 JJBA OVA (favourite film of all time) for many of the same reasons— taking something "silly" and earnestly creating an experience from it: "okay, if that's true, how would it feel?"

but i straight up can't watch the JJBA tv series because in trying to follow the manga to a T/be "for the fans", it's a cheap, ugly, atmospherically empty, soulless reproduction with groverhaus layouts. it sucks to look at. it really fucking sucks. there is no direction. it's vacuous. but the OVA is gorgeous not because it's simply hand-drawn animation, but because it's directed with cinematic intention. colour, light, focus and intensity of emotion... the DIO fight in the OVA is stunning and scary and full of unbelievably clever animation. but i have a whole website in progress about this :^)

in escaflowne, in spite of the stylisation, i 100% buy the approximation. i don't judge Good Cartooning by an ability to stylise life naturalistically! i'm just always pleasantly surprised by when/where that Is achieved with abstraction.

escaflowne is somehow a very complicated optical illusion, a Magic Eye. anka compared it to ballet lol, like in swan lake where if you look long enough you see the animal movements being mimicked with profound efficacy, but if you're multitasking, if you look away, that immersion easily shatters. there are just some crazy little shifts in facial expression, like when teeth are gritted while talking, when eyes glance around the room or become just slightly glassy, when the honorifics shift, timing of reaction, sparing seconds for interstitial characterisation, paired with tone, paired with music, paired with colour, that make this special in a way i didn't know How to understand as a kid. the visual language i had any fluency in didn't cover escaflowne. i needed to spend more time with it. but something clearly gripped me from the jump because i was Not the same after hahaha

i thought i was supposed to be invested in the love triangle/hexagon/whatever, but that was a total diversion from what actually transpires, what is actually being given weight here. it is very scary and very sad lol!

even stuff like making adult man allen increasingly suck shit as he goes on, letting him be disappointing, because of course he would be— but making hitomi and van's interactions very natural and easy in a way they don't register as important because they're so accustomed to chasing the unattainable. lol. so fucking cool dude

back to folken. goated. wife of all time. ultimate. my first n'doul. one of my favourite ever Types of Guy is "ultra depressed fuckup who in his quest to do good misses the forest for the trees and consequently eats shit; serves cunt entire time" LIKE LITERALLYYYYYY and they need to have PATHOS... I LOVE A SWAGGY MARTYR.

wow long post. anyway i'm smacking my forehead. i was right. i've always been right about everything in my whole life. he's called folken because he done folked my dumb ass UP

[leonardcohenofficial]

What did you think of the new mash special?

i thought it was great! i really appreciated getting to hear all of the interviews—especially the archival ones with the actors and creatives who have passed—and thought that the commentary was really insightful. you can really tell how much appreciation the entire team had for the art they were making, for the way the show has affected so many viewers, and for each other. i really liked the framing of the evolution of the show, and that they specifically named it wasn't about finding individuals to join the show who were better than their predecessors, but who would bring a new energy that helped revitalize and shift the show as it continued to grow. some of the comments i disagreed with (like mike farrell saying that the show wasn't ever anti-military, which. definitely by the later seasons it turned into the broader anti-war messaging but. were we watching the same show in the early years? okay lmao) and the only major (no pun intended) spot where i think they missed the mark was that there was no mention of sidney freedman/alan arbus's impact on the show. but overall i thought it was a great special with a lot of really nuanced and interesting discussion of the show—i was particularly impressed with gary burghoff and mike farrell's insights, broadly speaking—and i really enjoyed watching it with my family! i think it pairs really well with the 2002 reunion special in that it both connects with the commentary then and expounds upon it. definitely recommend it!

[jo-harrington]

Jo, give me something fucked up about teeth. Dealers choice.

Oh my love, ask and ye shall receive.

This could be any of our boys...but I think you know exactly who this is. Happy Birthday Meg, my love, my life, my cheeseburger.

Pairing: Some specific actor with (allegedly) fake teeth who shall not be named x Fem!Reader

Warnings: RPF, smut (P in V), teasing, power play, oral fixation, and obviously TEETH.

"Take them off."

"Excuse me?"

"Your teeth." You panted heavily. "Off."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing right now.

You were both in your underwear, playing your little drawn out striptease foreplay to see who could make the other cum first--or beg first, it really didn't matter--without letting it really get to the main attraction. Truth be told, neither of you had time for this kind of game, but you always made the time.

This wasn't a relationship; one could barely even call it an affair.

It was...a fling, a hookup, an every-so-often occurrence that happened at a hotel whenever the two of you were in the same city on business or "coincidentally" had long-enough "layovers" at the same airport.

What began as drinks and conversation shared in some overrated, overcrowded airport lounge turned into the bearing of the soul to another familiar face that lived and died by their travel itinerary, and then the bearing of each others bodies.

And although he might have told you about his...hang-up about his teeth before, he never considered that you'd put two and two together on your own and realize it was a way for him to...tame the beast, so to speak.

Or agitate it, if the right buttons were pushed.

"Take. Them. Off," you repeated again. You stopped and sat back on his thighs and crossed your arms over your chest. "If we're gonna kiss, I don't want to cut my tongue on the bridge of your false teeth."

"We don't have to kiss to have a good time," he pouted and put his hands on your thighs, hoping to tempt you closer and back into a delicious rhythmic friction against him.

This was fun for both of you, why did it need to stop?

" I like kissing and this is my hotel room," you reminded him, barely budging. "And I can make it all worth while for you if you just do as I say, Joseph."

The force behind his name made him twitch.

It was a battle of the wills.

It always was, actually.

He could play important celebrity card, with his managers and pr reps and publicists and thousands of fans that screamed his name no matter how dead it made him inside.

He didn't have to fit you in.

But you also had your cards to play, with your conference calls and pitch meetings and a job that was infinitely more impactful and probably more profitable than his could ever be.

So you could honestly say the same.

But you'd let him win last time, so it was your turn now. Wasn't it?

Still he hesitated as he tongued along the metal bar that lined the backs of his incisors.

This wasn't you playing to his oral fixation; this wasn't you painting the taste of yourself over his lips with the tips of your fingers or stuffing your panties in his mouth because he was in your room and your boss had the next room over. This was you peeling back his defenses and seeing the heart of him, shining a light into the deep and twisted corners of his mind.

Did he want you to stick your tongue in the gaps between his incisors and his molars? Yes. Did he want to bite you hard enough to leave a mark and then see the break in the imprint on your skin? Also yes.

But he also didn't want you to have to see the chip in his armor, one that he'd been made fun of before time and again. The thing that made his first ever stylist cringe when he posed and smiled for a photoshoot.

He'd gone to the dentist with the check from that ad campaign and gotten the fake teeth fitted.

"Don't do that," they told him, words that echoed in his head as he had the impression tray in his mouth. "Don't smile so big. Don't smile at all. You're handsome enough; no one wants to see that."

But now you wanted to see it, you wanted to see him and know him and fuck the him that was imperfect. Consume the part of him that no one wanted. The one that got erased by a careful crafted facade and sometimes an AI filter...by both friends and fans alike.

You both had confessed to one another, after the second or third time you'd "run into each other" that...family and close friends aside...it was hard to travel to all these places and be a name, a job, a reputation...and not yourself.

So he wanted you to see him.

He hungered for it.

And against his better judgement, he forced his tongue against the metal to push the bridge out of his mouth. He tried to be quick to throw it onto the bedside table, but your hand shot forward and you grabbed his wrist.

"I thought you wanted to kiss," he mocked you now. He pressed his tongue flat against the roof of his mouth and felt the familiar comfort that came with fiddling with the gaps. "Needed a kiss so badly."

"I do," you nodded, your eyes locked with the metal and porcelain. "And we will."

"But..."

Your grip on him loosened once you knew he wouldn't wrench his hand away. Your fingers danced up his arm, then over his fingers, until you plucked the bridge from his grasp to inspect it.

He watched, entranced, as you tilted your head and analyzed the dental device.

His hand stayed frozen in the air...until you shifted forward once again and ground down onto his cock, your slickness already soaked through your panties and the Dior boxer briefs that he was obligated to wear, creating a sticky drag that caused him to groan.

You bucked, over and over until he felt like he was about to reach the precipice. Both of you moaned, the truth silent and thick in the air that you were truly just using him to chase your own pleasure, all the while doing all of the little things that made him weaker than you. Made him lose himself before you could.

Your rhythm stuttered purposefully, dragging your clit over his sensitive head, over and over. Rolled your hips up and forward so the softness of your ass rubbed against him, cradled all of him just so.

And the kicker was you did all this by instinct, muscle memory as you pointedly ignored him, ignored his want for your eyes locked with his as you challenged one another, so you could overanalyze the contraption that made him perfect in the eyes of his fans. The lie.

And then you stopped. Right as he was panting and whining and begging without words.

You moved the false teeth to one of your arms and ran the perfect ridges along your skin.

"You know in all the times we've done this, you've never bitten me before," you told him matter-of-factly.

"I...wha--" He was at a loss for words.

"Bitten me," you repeated. You had to repeat yourself a lot tonight. "I thought you would have done it by now."

"Why would I?" he questioned.

"Why wouldn't you?" you retorted. "I think we get into it enough sometimes that...spur of the moment, lack of judgement...just a little nibble."

"First you want a kiss," he huffed in laughter. "Now you want a hickey. Getting needy now, aren't you, love?"

You narrowed your eyes at him, and in a move most unexpected, you shoved the teeth in your mouth. Clenched between your teeth, his bite pattern obviously not a match for yours, but it made for a morbid set of vampire fangs. His cuspids clenched between your incisors.

You then shifted and peeled his underwear back to squeeze his shaft, skin to skin, hot and spit and slick. And it made him see stars, he was close, closer now that you did...all of this.

For the briefest second as you peeled your own panties to the side and sunk down onto him, he questioned everything, questioned his life as the warmth engulfed him and he saw God.

Why would you do this? What had changed? When had two lonely souls sharing drinks and stale bagels and secrets and sex turned into...you sucking on his teeth while you rode him to oblivion.

Then again...he had always been into some wild things. Things that he knew he had to give up since he became a household name. Was this just...did something inside him immediately recognize a kindred soul...slightly lost...slightly yearning for the life they left behind when an immense expectation became too much to bear.

He had wanted you to consume him. Maybe this was the two of you consuming each other...

You grabbed his hand and maneuvered him to pleasure you, to rub and play with you, to get you to the edge that you'd so successfully gotten him to so you could launch yourself into wanton irresponsibility together.

As he moved his fingers, as you shifted your hips, his mouth moved in a similar fashion. Teeth clenching, tongue flicking, silent oh's and ah's that sparked a wicked idea inside of you.

You shifted forward, leaned your head closer to his, breathed heavily through the bridge clenched in your teeth...swiveled your hips, once twice...then you kissed him.

And he came.

[boozles]

I'm still extremely sick in bed and missed three days of the BL Challenge, so here they are!

Day Three: side dish that should have been the main course

It's a surprise to absolutely no one that I'm picking Ai Di/Chen Yi from Kiseki: Dear to Me. I think almost everyone would pick them for this! Don't get me wrong, I adore Bai Zong Yi and Fan Ze Rui, but Ai Di and Chen yi were just something else.

Day Four: Fave ship dynamic

In all honesty, I'm not sure I really have one outside of 'one is a chaotic little shit who can only be controlled by his lover'. Like (obviously) Ai Di/Chen Yi, Sand/Ray, Akk/Ayan, Prapai/Sky, etc.

Day Five: Biggest flop

Okay, so I'm interpreting this one as a pairing that, to me, doesn't work. Before I get into it I want you all to know I mean absolutely no offense to anyone, and these are just my personal opinions.

So, I am really not a fan of OffGun as a cp. I've never understood why they are so revered and treated as the Elite Elders of BL. Separately they are both fantastic actors, but as a cp I just don't see any chemistry between them. As friends, sure, but I don't see romantic sparks between any of their characters. Okay, I admit in Theory of Love Gun did an amazing job of one sided love, but other than that I've never seen the attraction. I really wish Gun could be paired with someone else, but that's never going to happen.

Tbh, out of the original GMMTV BL pairings the only one I think actually works is TayNew. BrightWin was just awkward and the 2gether series' didn't grab me at all. I've yet to watch SOTUS, so all I've seen of SingtoKrist is a short they did and their Our Skyy episode, and I wasn't overly impressed; which is odd as I actually really like both actors with other actors! However, I am willing to admit it could be a product of time; the early days of GMMTV's BLs left a lot to be desired.

Again, I mean no offence to anyone who are fans of these cps! These are just my thoughts and shouldn't impact your love :) I'm sure some of my ships would probably leave ya'll like "huh?!" lol

[kitkatt0430]

5, 10, 26?

5.) Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

So my first thought is no and I think that's how I usually answer this. But it may actually be a bit more complicated in a 'no but yes' sort of way.

So. Oliver/Felicity was not the original plan for the Arrow. Felicity wasn't even supposed to be a main character. She wasn't even supposed to be there beyond that one episode she first showed up in. But the actress made such an impression on the cast, show runners, and the audience that she became more important. And while a lot of people - including myself - assumed she was an original character for the show, it turns out she was supposed to be just another comics cameo shout out to a character not even Green Arrow comics adjacent. Apparently comics Felicity Smoak was Ronnie Raymond's antagonist and step mom.

O_o The more you know, huh?

Anywho, presumably the original plan for the show was Oliver/Laurel endgame. Like in the comics, where Dinah/Oliver - with Laurel being Dinah Laurel Lance, after all - being Oliver's partner both in vigilantism and romance. It... obviously didn't go that way with Laurel being brutally and unnecessarily killed off for shock value in S4. And that may have happened in part because of the popularity of the Olicity ship.

Backtracking a bit here, but Felicity's actress and Oliver's actor had great onscreen chemistry from day one. I can understand why the show runners chose to pivot to this ship, given that chemistry and the sheer popularity of the ship with the fans.

Oliver/Felicity pretty quickly became the most popular ship for the fandom and it still is. Not even Oliver/Barry - the second most tagged ship for the fandom over on Ao3 - has even a quarter of the fics that Olicity has. 12,600+ fics as of this moment and no doubt it'll continue to steadily go up. (for comparison, Olivarry has 1,600+ fics tagged)

Honestly, I shipped Felicity/Oliver pretty quickly while watching S1 too. I liked their dynamic, that she was the sunshine to Oliver's grumpy, she was willing to call him out even when he still scared her, and she - at the time, anyway - was willing to respect that she wasn't entitled to his secrets.

But time marched on. The show began to flanderize the characters to some degree even as they fleshed them out in others. Felicity lost her willingness to respect Oliver's boundaries, Oliver proved incapable of keeping character development from one season to the next... and as Felicity/Oliver moved from interesting chemistry to ship tease to official couple, they began to bring out the worst parts of each other. And my enjoyment that they were finally together soured.

How much of them being the official couple was because of the show runners picking up on the actors chemistry independently of the fans and how much was them seeing how much the fans wanted it so why not... we'll probably never really know for sure. But I suspect that fandom's shipping of the characters in the early days before Oliver/Laurel had a chance to truly be cemented was what both contributed to them being the official couple and thus killing my enjoyment of the ship.

(I suspect that Laurel/Oliver were meant to follow the path that Iris/Barry eventually did. Both Laurel and Iris were dating someone else in S1, a someone else who died in the finale after a reveal that they were related to the main villain in some way. In S2 Iris and Laurel are both learning to move on and find themselves without that relationship. But in S3 of the Flash, Iris and Barry finally hook up, but Laurel begins her vigilante arc in S3 that puts her at odds with Oliver while Felicity gets a love triangle with Oliver and Ray where Ray 'dies' at the end of the season... a little familiar sounding am I right?)

So fandom did not directly ruin the Olicity ship for me, but there is an argument to be made that it did so indirectly. So no... but also yes.

10.) Most disliked arc? Why?

It's so hard to choose because, sadly, there are so many.

It could be Mark Blaine trying to kill Khione to get Frost back, throwing a hissy fit when he's told no, and then creeping on Khione like she's Frost's replacement goldfish.

It could be the promise that S6 would give us an important Iris plot that turned out to being Iris side lined in the mirror world, stuck there while the real plot was going on else where, being forced to watch a duplicate most likely rape her husband, be about to break out of the mirror world herself only to be immediately turned into a damsel for Barry to rescue, and the creepy way she doesn't speak at all between waking up after the 'rescue' and going to kickstart the modified ASF to wake the original Speed Force back up... (Okay, yeah, this is probably arc I hate the most but...)

It could be how we were promised an important plot line for Cisco in S7 before he left the show and got what looked like the show runners forgetting about that until the last minute, giving us what could have been a fun episode if it were not completely ruined by Cisco's massively out of character decision to tell his besties he's leaving for ARGUS at the last minute. After making Cisco the one who stays at STAR Labs in the bad Savitar future and showing again and again how important his friendships are to him... to have him treat his friends like that was kinda shitty, tbh. Hell, most people treat bosses and coworkers they dislike better by giving the optional two weeks notice.

Armageddon. I think I've complained about that enough that my reasons for hating it are well known by now.

26.) Most shippable character?

Oh this is so hard to pick. I'm a multi-shipper so all the characters are imminently shippable to me, whether it's romantic, a QPP, or close friendships.

But if I try to narrow it down, it's either Cisco, Barry, or Hartley. I've written the most for a search on Cisco Ramon/* of my works, but Barry's a close second when I do Barry Allen/* but I think Hartley's got the most crossover ships that I ship regardless of whether I've written for it or not, such as Tommy/Hartley, Rip/Hartley, Ray/Hartley, etc. (Mick started on the Flash but he's primarily a Legends character. Does he count as a crossover ship? Yes but also no. And no but yes.)

Though of the ladies, I think Iris is probably the most shippable to me though Caitlin is a close second despite my arospec headcanons for her. Iris has a lot of chemistry with a lot of characters and while the number of romantic ships I enjoy for Caitlin is narrower, I'm more likely to contemplate different types of ships for her such as QPPs.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

I know it's been a hot sec since Only Friends ended, but I have love your analysis but have some thoughts about Boston's ending in the context of the show's themes. You said in your reflection that it reeks of branded pairing and interference. Could this be the point!

We know Boston is the photographer which has lots of implications for his character and sexuality, but photographers also have a unique interest for directors, and can even be stand-in characters for the director's perspective. Boston's non-monogamous approach to dating estranges him from the clear pairing off of his friends in traditional couple units, as if in a legal marriage, in the same way that a more radical director like jojo might feel in response to the contractual obligations of the branded pairs by studios.

Getting back to the brilliant title of "Only Friends," you could start to see it as a commentary on some of these issues. Only friends can refer to the limits of being excluded from the status of boyfriends, or, in a more official manner, being excluded from the status and benefits privileged through marriage. But we also know that the actors for Boston and Nick were the first chosen by jojo & co before the branded pairs. Only Friends can also refer to these two actors previous roles within the BL genre as supporting cast that lacked the narrative possibility and the contractual obligation to become a couple by the end of the series, to remain only friends to the romantic leads.

Perhaps the ending is supposed to feel empty. There is a veneer of campy happiness to the last scene, but most of the online audience reactions seem to understand that what we felt we saw was a tragedy. Jojo seems too perceptive of a director to have created that reaction by a failure to realize how the viewers would feel about Boston's fall and exclusion. It actually seems really impressive to have what is basically the foundational definition of a comedy (the couples get together in the end) feel so sad--Ton's absence replaced by a picture of what they used to be before the mandatory coupling. Then the guest comes in, played by Mixx, a member of yet another contracted pair. "I booked a single bedroom. I'm here alone." The malevolent theme of the series kicks in as the cast looks from him to one another and offers to be his 'friend,' as if that was allowed. Is it a coincidence that Mixx shared this summer that he'd be taking a break from acting, thus escaping his contractual coupling!

It seems to me like jojo used the guise of the BL genre in 'Only Friends' to critique the genre (and more traditional gay political ideals) and we all felt the pain and disappointment we were supposed to feel about what we're being robbed of.

You're more versed in the genre and jojo's previous works tho so what's your take

I am glad you are interested in my take, but I'm not sure that I have one. I think your read is a perfectly valid one, just as I also think saying this wasn't intentional commentary and GMMTV interfered is a valid one, just as I think saying Jojo and Ninew dropped the ball at the end and this was ultimately their responsibility is valid.

I think it would be based as hell if Jojo and Ninew did what they did at the end of Only Friends and obliterated some of their messaging as commentary against the current BL structures, but I don't think we have a way of knowing that. I think I am generally more forgiving to the narrative and to Jojo and Ninew than others might be, but that doesn't make me correct or other people wrong. I don't think we have any way of knowing what went on behind the scenes, in the writing room, with the directors, with the studio execs to get to where we got. But I have found other pieces of Jojo's more legible in their intent at the end.

Overall my hot take is that ultimately I am glad this show was made, regardless of overall fandom reaction, regardless of how the narrative was perceived, because I think it is important for GMMTV to get more comfortable mixing and matching their branded pairs, to get GMMTV more comfortable with higher heat in their BLs, to give Neo a really difficult role that he absolutely blew out of the water. And while international and tumblr reactions were on the displeased or angry side of the spectrum, I don't know that that was the case domestically, and it did well enough to have a few nominations in the most recent awards show. So regardless of what myself or anyone else thinks about Only Friends, I think it did enough to perhaps show GMMTV proof of concept for general fandom interest in more mature BLs from an intimacy and messy relationship perspective. And, depending on the reactions they saw, maybe it showed them that at the end sticking to the branded pairs ended up hurting the show.

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

What do you think of Sarah Brightman in POTO? She gets so much hate from the "phans" but I love her as Christine. She looks so victorian, classy, proper and innocent. When I got into the show (which I regret) I couldn't stop watching her with MC and Steve. I love her voice, it's so unique as Gillian Lynne described — like a dew dropping. Also Michael Crawford and her were similar in age to Erik and Christine. I think she wasn't more sympathetic and "into" him because that's how she was instructed to act, Hal Prince was very clear about Christine loving Raoul though she felt sorry for Erik. And Steve Barton was such a perfect Raoul. My all time favorite pair is JOJ & Gina as well as JOJ & Katie Hall. I also adore Hugh Panaro & Samantha Hill.

Honestly I would love to give an opinion, but I can't because I have only ever seen one Brightman performance and it was quite degraded, so her visual performance was very difficult to analyze.

What I will say is that I didn't know this about Hal Prince (keep in mind, I've only been in the Phandom for about eight months, so I'm still learning a lot of the production's history.) And I find that interesting, given the fact that Lloyd Webber himself has always dropped hints (and in more recent years, been more open about) his own very pro e/c feelings. I think in the end, everyone in the production has their own perspective, and those combinations of attitudes bubble and collide on stage with different outcomes every time. We have to keep in mind that every element of the main trio shifts the chemistry and even with repeats of the exact same trio, sometimes the vibe you get from Christine can be very different show-to-show. I've seen Crawford/Kristien/Barton in three separate boots and Kristien's performance has had varying degrees of enthusiasm with Erik in every one. In one she was more naïve and timid, in another she was blatantly horny.

I've seen Gina Beck absolutely terrified with Ramin Karimloo and gently spooked with David Shannon. I've seen Rachel Barrell mortified with John Owen Jones and sweetly sympathetic with Earl Carpenter (though her Christine always seems to be Lukewarm for Erik no matter what).

I can also say, having worked with some theatre directors (and of course, every director is different in how far they view their directorial power reaching) but the ones I've talked to have said "when we're in rehearsal it's my job to show you what to do. Once that curtain comes up, my job is done: it's in your hands, you know what to do."

Of course there's a limit to defying direction, but an actors job is not just to stand there and do what they're told. They have to do it in the way that will feel most organic to them and to the people watching. Theatre direction is different than movie direction. The director can't stop the show and give the actors notes to make sure that everything goes just how they want it to. The actors have a lot of power to interpret their direction, and like I said, that interpretation can vary from show to show even when it's the exact same main cast.

So I'm sure Brightman had performances where she was more into Erik and ones where she was more into Raoul. But I don't know.

Now as for her voice, I'm going to be honest that yes it's unique and she's without a doubt a fantastic singer, I'm not a huge fan of her vocal quality. Her voice is very thick to my ears and it's just not my favourite. I don't hate it by any means, but it's just not my favourite.

As for the hate, idk. If she did have a lukewarm performance across the board, it is partially her fault, but as I've said, creating a role is a difficult thing. Other Christines have been able to look at her and form impressions, have ideas and come to conclusions that Brightman may not even have thought of at the time. It's a lot of work to build a character with nothing to go on except the book which only partially resembles the story you're acting out, so I'm disinclined to be very harsh towards her. But I think we as phans have a feeling that no matter how many Erik/Christine pairings we've seen where Christine definitely embraces her attraction to Erik and leaves only reluctantly at the end--pairings that vindicate the E/C stance a lot of us hold dear--theres a sense (and an irrational one, I think) that the original interpretations are the only ones that really matter. While that's understandable, I think it's a bit of a fallacy, because as I've said, shows like this grow over time. New interpretations add new layers and ideas occur to both actors and directors that they maybe want to approach things differently from now on. If they changed their perspectives, it must be for a reason. The first version is often flawed.

ALSO keep in mind that later Christine's, Raoul's and Phantom's have had the benefit of full-text translations of the book that weren't available to the original cast and crew. Post 1990 Christines had the benefit of knowing that, in the book, Christine practically admits to Raoul that, if Erik was handsome, she would certainly have fallen completely in love with him (and, with Erik being pretty darn sexy in the musical, that definitely shifts the perception of Christine as a character and how she would make her decisions in this musical timeline). Maybe this is a factor into why most of the 90's Christines I've seen really went in for an enthusiastic interpretation.

Who can really say?

Also yes, Hugh and Samantha slap.

She's one of my top 5 Christines.

[garden-of-omegas]

⚜ FIRST MEETING [A3! - SUMMER TROUPE] ⚜

┌── ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ••✎•• ──────────

characters: tenma sumeragi | yuki rurikawa | muku sakisaka | misumi ikaruga | kazunari miyoshi | kumon hyodo summary: the details of your first meeting with your future mate. warnings: some allusions to bad home lives, insomnia rating: sfw a/n: i have really nothing to say this time, nothing much has really happened while i was writing this so it was all very straight forward. i think the summer troupe is just too sunny to create really conflicted alphas for. they are a comedy group after all.

~🎕

└── ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ••✎•• ──────────

≿━━━━༺❀ tenma sumeragi ❀༻━━━━≾

✿ you were an amateur actor, who'd just recently joined the summer troupe. you'd explained to izumi that you were there to learn more for your craft, though in truth you'd just ran away from home and needed a stable place to stay away from your parents.

✿ you were 17 at the time, though you told izumi that you were 18 so that she wouldn't want to call your parents. tenma was 16, a good year younger than you.

✿ you got to meet tenma after his audition, as you'd been been staying at the company for a week already before anyone else joined. you weren't there for the audition, so it came as a huge surprise when you were told that you'd be rooming with a famous actor. tenma's arrogance immediately soured the relationship though, which lead to some shenanigans with the rooming.

✿ the first day of rooming together, you locked tenma out of the room, to which tenma responded by hiding all your beddings. your mutual messing with each other continued for a week before the two of you came to any kind of understanding with each other.

✿ tenma wasn't really impressed by you upon first meeting, and he fully expressed that. after the bedroom incident, he was rather certain that he hated you though that changed after sharing that room with you for a while. you thought that tenma was an arrogant brat, and frankly you couldn't stand to be around him for any longer than necessary. you somewhat softened your view on him after spending time with him, but you still considered him to be a complete prick.

≿━━━━༺❀ yuki rurikawa ❀༻━━━━≾

✿ you were the young heir of an old money family company. you'd just recently been "disinherited" by your parents, temporarily, as they felt that you needed to experience normal life. so, you decided to join the mankai company as acting was a huge interest of yours.

✿ you were 15 at the time, in izumi's opinion far too young to try and live independently. you didn't really understand her point, so she gave up trying. yuki was 14.

✿ you met yuki during the audition, when you spotted him and started gushing over his outfit. yuki was sort of off-put by it, especially since your own clothes were name-brand and extremely expensive looking. seeing you get along so "well", izumi paired you up to room together.

✿ you and yuki's room soon became a hub of creativity, especially once you were appointed as the company's official stylist. it was to the point that the rest of the summer troupe wondered where the two of you slept since the beds were usually covered in fabric and make-up kits.

✿ yuki liked you quite a bit, surprisingly. while you were definitely a snobby rich kid at times, you were also naive in a way that made you completely sincere and honest with everything you did and said. not to mention how you didn't question his way of dressing at all. you thought yuki to be the most stylish person you'd ever met, especially once you discovered that he made his own clothes. you'd never even considered that that was a thing that you could do, and couldn't help but admire his talents.

≿━━━━༺❀ muku sakisaka ❀༻━━━━≾

✿ you were looking for a place to live, as you'd be starting medical school the next year to become a paramedic. you happened upon a flier for the mankai company audition, and as acting had been a hobby of yours you thought it was the perfect place.

✿ you were 16, having just recently turned prior to moving away from home. you were a bit young to actually start medical school, but you were given special permission as your mother was a famous doctor. muku was 14.

✿ as you were arriving to the audition, you saw muku walking to the theatre. you didn't really draw any attention to yourself, but muku noticed you and got startled, which almost ended up in him falling over and hitting his head against the curb. thankfully, you had quick reflexes and managed to stop his fall and shield his head.

✿ muku became extremely shy around you, but after the audition when you were both accepted into the troupe you were paired together for a room, which is how muku found out about your cute med-kits and decorations.

✿ muku admired you immensely, the moment you saved him he thought that you were one of those dashing princex's from his manga. that, and your dedication to helping other people made him grow a big fat crush on you very quickly. you thought muku was rather cute, though you were very confused about his muteness around you. but you thought it was fitting that you were set to room together, as the small omega fit perfectly within all your decorations.

≿━━━━༺❀ misumi ikaruga ❀༻━━━━≾

✿ you were just a little kid, experimenting with photography and living with your grandma. your parents weren't really fit to take care of you, but you'd been given a polaroid camera by your mom, which left you with a curiosity for the craft.

✿ you were six years old. you'd been staying with your grandma for a year at that point. misumi was five years old, though in actuality he was almost two years younger than you.

✿ you were outside taking pictures with your camera while your grandma was entertaining a friend inside. while taking a picture of a tree, a certain triangle-loving kid popped into frame and scared the hell out of you. turns out, your grandma's friend had a grandson that he'd bought along that was now attempting to save you from what you were certain was a heart attack.

✿ now, obviously you were not experiencing a heart attack. and after misumi managed to get your breathing under control, the two of you got along rather well. and so the two of you would often start to be found together, having play-dates outside.

✿ misumi thought you were so fun and cute, even after the scare of your (not really) heart attack. you were always nice to him, pointing out triangles for him and even having pictures of them ready every time you'd meet up. you were certain that if you were not looking after misumi he'd manage to get himself seriously hurt or worse... lost. so you made it your life's mission to take care of him, and it definitely wasn't because you thought he was really cute.

≿━━━━༺❀ kazunari miyoshi ❀༻━━━━≾

✿ you were a social media influencer looking for a theater company to join. your mother had been a theatre actor in her youth and you wanted to get a taste of her life that she described so dearly. though you weren't really interested in it personally.

✿ you were 19, you were still in university though you didn't attend it all that seriously. kazunari was the same age as you, though miraculously you'd never come across each other on campus.

✿ you'd made an innocuous post on one of your less-known socials about looking for a theater company to join, which kazunari as a fan of yours happened to see. he, knowing you went to the same school, tracked you down and invited you to the mankai company auditions. you hadn't really been expecting anyone to understand what you wanted, so you were a bit shocked by the sudden invitations to say the least.

✿ when you did actually attend the auditions, you got the part and as you were recommended by kazunari the two of you were paired to room together. izumi would soon come to regret that when you started getting along like a house on fire.

✿ kazunari had been a fan of you for a long time, your cute aesthetic and your joyful personality that radiated sunshine everywhere drawing him in long before he actually met you. and discovering that most of it wasn't fake just made him like you more. kazunari was a... lot, at first anyway. he was sort of confusing, showing up out of nowhere and solving your problem, but after spending some time together rooming you realized how similar the two of you were.

≿━━━━༺❀ kumon hyodo ❀༻━━━━≾

✿ you were an aspiring actor, with a bit of a problem. you had an extreme case of insomnia that often ended in you either not being completely there during performances or straight up passing out. but you had determination to achieve your dream.

✿ you were 16, the same age as kumon. you'd both been attending the same high school, but your social circles were so different that you'd never actually met before.

✿ you were out seeing a play by the mankai company, a local performance that kumon was helping with. unfortunately you'd not been properly sleeping for the last week so you fell asleep during the performance, right onto kumon's shoulder as he'd sat down next to you to watch. while surprised, he gladly let you use his shoulder as a pillow and woke you up once the troupe was leaving.

✿ after that whole bit, you decided to pursue joining the troupe as you thought theatre acting would suit you and your insomnia better. and surprisingly izumi took you in gladly, and set you and kumon to room together.

✿ kumon thought you were cute! especially your sleeping face, you just look so peaceful. and after starting to room together, he thought he'd get to see you sleeping even more, but to his surprise you spent most of your nights completely awake, often scaring him when he woke up in the middle of the night. kumon was... a lot for your tired brain. his energy made you seem even more tired and done, but it was also comforting to be around him. though you also thought that he was far too jumpy, in a cute way. not that you'd ever admit it.