#Like she's literally renting out my room on the weekend im going there it's so????

[mothpdf]

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[leclerced]

I just unlocked a new fake scenario with my crush but since im mad at him im shamelessly giving it to you and lando now.

Imagine you’re a hobby seamstress and your good pal Lando is your personal photographer for your finished pieces. But when you finally made some lingerie sets (one even in his fav color) you ask someone else to shoot you, bc you’d find it too weird to ask your crush friend to do a boudoir photo shoot for you. When he finds out he convinces you to let him shoot you. Since he also has a crush on you he can barely keep it together seeing you in all these lewd poses. And when you both are getting more comfortable (turned on), your poses get more and more explicit until he can’t take it anymore and fucks you in his favorite set.

Maybe he even grabs the camera mid fuck to document how pretty you look stuffed full with his cock. And obviously grinning like the cocky bastard he is in every foto he’s in.

(Oh and btw that was me with the german greetings last night so frohes neues meine liebe❤️)

-🫀

please i'll cry. happy new year angel 🫶🏻

i was literally thinking about photographer lando while looking at lando.jpg yesterday… need it in my life

you'd made plans with a female photographer, but she ends up cancelling because a friend needs a last minute wedding photographer. she immediately returns the deposit and apologizes repeatedly, offers to reach out to some contacts to replace her. lando happens to overhear a phone call and asks what you need a replacement for. when he hears you hired another photographer, he asks why. you tell him you thought he was busy that weekend, make something up about him telling you that he had plans with his family. he'd check his schedule and confirm he's free and insist on it, and you have to admit that the reason is because you didn't think he'd do a boudoir shoot, since it's not really his style. he shoots runways or shoots for expensive brands. you’re lucky that he's your best friend and happily shoots for you.

he'd immediately jump at the idea, trying his best not to sound eager as he says he'd do it if you’re comfortable with it. he'd show you shoots he'd done years ago, earlier in his career before he got his foot into high fashion. you hesitantly agree, worried you won't be able to contain herself prancing around in lingerie in front of your best friend. you were planned on renting somewhere to shoot, but when lando offers, you're suddenly worried hoping something will happen and you'll be charged a cleaning fee, so you convert your guest bedroom into a shooting room.

he's used to commanding his models around during shoots, telling them how he wants them posed and where to look and you're no different. it feels different ordering his best friend who is dressed in lingerie on how to pose, but he's looking at you through the lens and he has no option but to analyze every line of your body to get the perfect composition. he's peeking through the lens and telling to you to move this arm here, that leg there. taking a few photos then telling you to roll over, arch your back. at some point, he asks if he can position you a certain way, and the moment his hand touches your thigh to maneuver you, you let out a little whimper and he nearly drops his camera.

the photoshoot-the one meant to go on your website to advertise the new custom fitted sets you're offering- is immediately forgotten when he hears that sound, his grip on you tightening and both of you are moving towards each other without thinking. you sit up to meet him halfway but he pushes you back down onto the bed as your lips meet and hitches your thigh over his hip. the camera is set down next to you oh so carefully so as not to damage the thousand dollar lens, but it's not entirely forgotten about. he's kissing down your body when you grab the camera and try to figure out how it works, flicking through settings before you give up and ask, can this thing record? he looks up at you, holding the camera pointed down at his mouth hovering over your center and nearly knocks it out of your hands in the rush to take it and start recording, stumbling off the bed to grab his tripod and set it up.

he asks if you're sure before he hits the record button, and you answer by beginning to tug your panties off, but he immediately tells you to stop because he wants to take them off. what he means by that is he wants to tease you for ten minutes straight, kissing your hips and thighs and mouthing at your covered center until you're begging him to take them off and touch you.

the photos from the beginning of the shoot are usable, but you end up telling lando that you think you'll need to remake the last set and shoot that one before you can even upload any of them, not wanting to overburden yourself with orders for the ones you do have photos of when there's a third one that you still need photos of. you'd make an extra when you remake it, just because you have a feeling it's going to turn out just like the first one did, and it does. but luckily you already have a backup and he shoots you in it a few days later, this time saving the fun for after the shoot.

[scariercnidaria]

not to be all like “people who say uncle is a bad show dont get it”, But. honestly? if you say something like that im going to assume that you gave up on it before you finished the first season. so like, spoilers all for the end of season 1 (and trigger warnings for suicide, substance abuse, overdose, cancer).

the show is about andy growing and becoming a better person and learning to take responsibility through his relationship his nephew errol. yes hes annoying and a scumbag and unlikeable at the start, but its not like hes Winning; the show literally opens with him about to kill himself.

there are a number of turning points throughout uncle. first of all his decision Not to cut the string and electrocute himself and instead pick up the phone when his sister (sam-- she is also strongly contending with val [and bruce] for my favourite character. shes divorced shes in rehab she loves facebook she has a pinterest board for her imaginary horse sanctuary she loves her son above everything. there are many characters that help to make uncle watchable [at least while andy is still a grade a prick] but genuinely sam and her unparalled older sister ability to tease andy and call him out on his shit) calls him. sam needs him to pick errol up from school and take him to football practise because her uni class has run late and errol is Very Neurodivergent (ocd in the show, i think he is also probably autistic. errol is also one of the best characters and written so well. never once did i think ‘this is a child actor’) and cant have his routine disrupted, and because it could blow her custody case.

so he picks up errol, because he does have Nothing Better Going On, and then continues to have him tag along on little schemes while babysitting or chaperoning him. which is a little bit irresponsible, sure, but errol grows to enjoy hanging out with andy through their combined interest in music and playing together in val’s battle of the bands (their band btw is called “the bear maximum”, based off of the cutest and most genuinely charming joke in the entire show, which was told by an 11 year old errol when andy suggested that he try telling a joke to impress a girl that he likes [”what’s the bare minimum? // one bear”]).

and for a while its all well and good, wacky hijinks following andys love life and errols social life, kids birthday parties, andys struggling music career; they continue to play together in a band and eventually the duo get noticed by a record label. andy, 3 weeks late on his rent, is thrilled and drags errol-- who is really into dental hygeine right now and made a laminated schedule of the weekend and just wants to get sushi and go to the planetarium-- along to the meeting, where its revealed that the label executive mo khan (kayvan novak) is actually only interested in errol. errol is adamant that he can explain the situation to andy, and mo khan gives him a tin of branded breath mints, but errol fails to do so before the record labels mixer party the next day.

at the party, mo khan separates errol and andy, taking errol to the vip room while an intern distracts andy outside to keep him from making a scene when he inevitably finds out. inevitably, he finds out, and makes a scene, leaving errol in the care of mo khan. mo has errol perform a song for the other vips and errol very enthusastically bangs out an utter tune he wrote about salmonella and e. coli and proper food safety, but the vips are bewildered. errol runs off and finds himself back in the executives office, and goes looking for more breathmints, at which point he find a load of little white breathmint sized pills in the desk and takes far too many.

its ecstasy.

andy punches mo khan in the face for laughing at errol having an overdose and errol is rushed to hospital. fucking thankfully he survives, but its going to blow sams custody case out of the water and errol very well could never see his mother again, and its at this point where it really stares you in the face that errol is a child, and he is to some extent reliant upon andy and all the other adults in his life, and that andy had better get his fucking act together like the rest of them or else hell just continue to hurt people.

this is followed, in typical andy fashion, by a dramatic gesture wherein he storms the custody hearing to take responsibility for his actions, proclaim that that sam doesnt deserve to be punished for believing that there would be no way that andy would be irresponsible enough to take a 12 year old to a party with drugs, and that its his fault for continuously bending over backwards to hit new lows, that its his fault, his fault alone, and that he swears never to go near errol ever again.

a restraining order is placed upon him at errols dads request, one which andy is happy to honour. errol is the one who fudges the bus times to go to andys flat in the year timeskip between the end of season 1 and the start of season 2 to play video games with him. and thats all they do; andy doesnt take him out anywhere, doesnt bring him on adventures. he gets a job at carpet brothers and he stops living excuse to excuse and he calms down. errol is the one who wants the restraining order lifted, because despite everything andy is the only one who really gets him. hes shared custody and he doesnt have any siblings, and he doesnt have any friends either besides bruce’s stepdaughter tiff, who he isnt the closest with and who also doesnt have any friends besides errol. errol is a fairly high-strung (in some ways very Grown Up Already) kid, but hes still a kid, and andy is the only person he can really be A Child around. this is in part because of andys childishness, but that means that andy is forced to grow in order to make way for someone elses needs now.

in episode 1, andy sarcastically suggests that errol “get some [whiskey] down ya”. by the end of the season 3, hes sober. he starts reading feminist literature (im pretty sure. its one moment and he . he joins sam at her NA meetings, and when now 15/16 year old errol, who is acting out and just got an illegal tattoo of sams name, asks him for a cigarette outside the hospital where sam has cancer he refuses and fights him to keep him away from it.

just, please give this show a chance. its got a lot of heart and a lot to say about family, and it doesnt all come from val.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/3/22

fucking doozy of a making section

listening: Pink Panther by Scene Queen. i have been awaiting this for some time bc she did a very sensible and well thought out social media campaign across literally every platform several months before this dropped, which is how i ran across it in the process of looking up things on tik tok for work. every fucking day my job gets harder and harder to explain unless you are also in this extremely specific entertainment/tech brainrot corner of capitalism.

anyway this is an EXTREMELY horny song i love it a lot. contains the lyrics “don’t call you know i can’t answer/gettin pussy like the pink panther”. very early aughts! very ke$ha, very charlie’s angels, very D.E.B.S. if ANYONE else on this godforsaken gay nostalgia website has seen that movie.

there is in fact a very fun sample of the pink panther theme in this pop? metal? pop song with a headbanging interlude? song

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reading: fallow week

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watching: also fallow week

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playing: through an elaborate game of friend barter i have acquired a switch and breath of the wild. it is fucking hysterical to me how much this is just skyrim but good and how much genshin impact is just breath of the wild but with some tits and a lot of ass. it’s also screamingly funny to me that breath of the wild has made about a billion and a half since launch and genshin made 2.1B its first year. just on mobile. so much appetite for these kinds of games (big open world rpg-lite with puzzle solving and kind of grindy mob-based combat) but they’re hysterically expensive to make.

said “oh fuck that’s the guy” out loud when i spotted prince sidon through the ol binocs, he does not have the personality or voice acting i was led to believe

im having a slightly frustrating time mostly bc i don’t really have the hand dexterity to do combos and i didn’t grow up with controllers. it’s easier to map things to separate keyboard keys, although mouse and keyboard is quite hard on the wrists. actually my problem is probably that it’s slightly more brainpower than i want to give to a game rn.

really looking forward to playing a bunch of visual novels in bed this winter. maximum coze

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making: im extremely stressed due to a combination of work and life and not balancing them very well lately. so im buying a bunch of house shit bc it is college grad season so half the people in this area are going home or otherwise moving and looking to ditch their shit.

the first and most important thing is that a new evil lair has been rented. this will be the first place where i am the only one on the lease and it comes unfurnished. i will be slowly moving in, as i did last year, bc this  current above-the-second-floor apartment’s stairs are quite bad for the knees. hopefully everything i can pick up by myself will (at minimum) be in a storage unit by the time my sister comes up memorial day weekend to help me move things that don’t fit in my car. the tuesdayposts may be a little light on content for the next four to six weeks.

i am annoyed i have to pay double rent for a month and a half, and i am annoyed i spent a bunch of money in march for some shit that was Extremely specific to making this apartment nicer (like idk i’m gonna need an eight foot ladder in the new place, which was not built in the 1800s and has somewhat low ceilings and way fewer windows, also there isn’t really a good place to put my swiss dot and pom pom trim cafe curtains :(

anyway here are some objects and very few pictures of things i acquired last week from paying attention to craigslist curb alerts: huge pile of frames, a milk glass object, and this floor lamp. which i think is brass plated and desperately needs a new shade. project for future kay. maybe i’ll get really into lampshades next who knows. my new living room has no good ceiling light so between this and the big green lamp and i guess the plant lights that’ll have to do it

disGOSTang. v excited to get that weird shellac and all that grime off.

some objects i acquired from a moving sale but have no pics of bc they Immediately went into the storage unit: microwave, another little pyrex strage container (glass lid!), a cool vase, a brass vase holder thing, a campaign dresser/nightstand thing that is mostly made out of real wood (may hold out for a 1920s style waterfall dresser with the rounded nose, bc i fear with the brass bed AND a campaign dresser my bedroom may look a little too apartment therapy)

“kay what’s the deal with you and brass?”

well

i feel like brass implies that at least some minimum baseline of thought and effort has been put into an object. i like how mellow and warm it looks. i think it’s an easier finish to decorate around than steel or “oiled bronze” which is usually just treated steel but we don’t have time to get into that. i also like how it leans industrial without going full steampunk. also i hate trying to clean verdigris without ruining it.

also here’s a good post about recreational labor from tumblr user hellenhighwater that made something in my brain go “ping”

[hansolmates]

(secret) lovers | m

summary; the (not) best friends 2 lovers spin-off where jungkook and you are trying to hide your relationship from his old best friend  pairing; jungkook x reader (f) genre/warnings; established relationship, jiyu is now an old friend and mc went to high school w them, weeb!koo, jk n mc be kinda stanky bc they’re only going to this party for the free booze, soft dom!mc, switch!koo, whiny koo, mc calls jk a slut, cockwarming, gets really soft n’loving at the end, heavy use of the pet name [redacted] i really think this couple is meant to be diabolically dumb together w/c; 2.7k a/n; this couple is really out here living rent free in my mind. jk, mc and jiyu really just are that thruple that i love to hate and hate to love. hope u enjoy this lil spin off! 

[series masterlist]

“You made it!” 

Jiyu flings her hands out, knocking both your heads with hers in the middle in a surprisingly strong hug. It’s a complete episode of déjà vu, from the way her body smells like the peach lotion she used after gym class to the shade of coral lipgloss. From the corner of your eye, you can see the caramel brunette’s tiny face is inching closer towards your ride, her head tucking in the crook of his neck. 

“Jiyu,” you beam. You’re the first to speak, the first to dip their toe in the water. “You look great!” 

“Thank you!” she pulls away, popping her hip against the doorway. The silky material of her coverup gleams in the sunlight, the silvery material showing off the silhouette of her bikini-clad body. Despite the fact that you’re the one who compliments Jiyu, her gaze floats over to the person next to you, “what a coincidence you two came at the same time and—oh my, and where are my manners! Come in, come in!” 

She moves away from the door, revealing an ornate lobby and two twin stairwells. You can’t help but light up at the beautiful crystal chandelier, flecks of pink and blue flickering in your eyes.  Further down the hallway you spot open glass doors that lead to a large backyard that overlooks the lake. Some people are already sitting by the dock, lounging about with drinks and happy smiles on their faces. 

“Actually,” Oh, he speaks. You think with a small smile on your face, side eyeing the man of the minute, “I forgot the rest of my luggage. We’ll meet you inside.” 

“Okay!” Jiyu smiles, “I’ll make you guys some drinks.” 

As soon as the door shuts, Jeon Jungkook, your boyfriend for three years blurts out, “She still has a crush on me.” 

You snort, taking off the duffle bag that’s hiding behind your back. Continuing to stand awkwardly at the front door, you prepare yourself to console your boyfriend’s worries. “She still has heart-eyes for you, Koo,” you tease, pinching his side. 

His eyes are big and swimming with guilt, “We should tell her.” 

“Oh, baby. We can’t break her heart this weekend.” 

“But love, it’s her birthday.” 

“Exactly,” you chirp, bumping your head against his arm, “can’t break her heart on her birthday.” 

Jiyu is an old high school friend. Class president, straight As, and even vied for prom queen. The only thing she wasn’t able to obtain throughout her high school years was Jeon Jungkook, the object of her affections. They were best friends in elementary school, eventually turning into distant friends as their interests changed and they got older. Yet, Jiyu still tried to insert herself into Jungkook’s life. Back in high school it was surely cute, the way she’d pine from the back of the room and place anonymous love letters in his locker, but Jungkook wasn’t interested and avoided any of her advances. Fast forward ten years later and it seems like old flames never die out. 

The meetups with Jiyu have been scarce since college and only in large groups. As former class president, she decided to hold a little reunion for her old friends, taking advantage of her stellar job benefits. A weekend in the woods, perfectly balmy and far away from the city. 

“I don’t wanna lie,” Jungkook nearly whines, pink lips warbling at your inability to budge. 

“Mm,” you hum, tracing the fingers across the seam of his back pocket. His boardshorts hide nothing, and you curl your fingers around the swell of his plump bum, “be good for me and tell a little white lie, will you?” 

Jeon Jungkook, former President of the Anime Club, prom king candidate and your favorite nerd in the entire world. 

A teeny tiny lie won’t hurt anyone. After all, you haven’t seen your high school buddies in literal years, and they wouldn’t dare bother to make a fuss about your relationship. In fact, they don’t know of your relationship with Jungkook. The two of you reconnected randomly, some spontaneous holiday party Kim Seokjin is always inclined to throw. You barely made eye contact the first two hours into it, not really wanting to go back to the hellhole that was your late teenage years. Nevertheless, by the end of the night the two of you couldn’t help yourself. 

As you look around the room with utmost confidence, the two of you have made the finest glow up by far. At first you wanted to keep the white lie to save face, you don’t owe anyone an explanation as to how you and the President of the Anime Club hooked up. However, you’re starting to enjoy the ruse. 

Jungkook’s sitting on the other side of the backyard, looking absolutely delicious as he sips on whatever fruity cocktail he created. Judging from yours, you have a feeling his drink probably consists of 95% orange juice and 5% alcohol. 

Jiyu and him are sitting in the large netted hammock, swinging lightly. Gravity is doing its thing, and Jiyu is practically laying on top of Jungkook’s lap, her body pooling to where his meets in the middle. As soon as his thigh touches hers, his eyes flicker to you in panic. He’s shirtless, only with a pair of mid-cut shorts to protect him. The skin that touches him probably burns. 

You wink and wave him away, assuring him it’s fine. Pretending to flip your hair, you turn back to the conversation you’ve been ignoring for the past five minutes. “Man, Jungkook’s so sexy,” Im Nayeon cooes, looking longingly at Jungkook’s form. 

“Jiyu’s so lucky,” Rina eggs on, taking another shot from the tray (a tray for herself, you might add.) 

“Do you think Jiyu’s gonna get some birthday sex tonight?” 

Nayeon snorts, covering her flared nostrils with her hand. That hand eventually loops around your thigh, eagerly pushing you two together by pressing on the meat of your bare skin. “If she’s lucky! Besides, we all know Jungkook had that big crush on you junior year!” 

Her pretty bunny teeth tease you, and you can’t help but smile back in return. “What do you mean, he really liked me?” you ask innocently. 

“Oh yeah! Drew so many little pictures of you in the margins. Little anime versions of you in his favorite outfits.” Of course, you know about Jungkook’s old crush on you. He’s mentioned it in passing, paired with an adorable blush on his cheeks. Hearing it from Nayeon, the shameless grin on her lips and the ease of champagne on her breath is much more entertaining. “Rina, do you remember when Jungkook set up her desk with rose petals and chocolate in a little heart? And then in the morning the janitor sweeped it up? He was so sad!” 

“Yes! I really felt for him,” Rina pouted. 

“Oh, poor baby,” you didn’t know that bit of information. You put a hand over your heart, watching as Jungkook shares a drink with his old friend Kim Mingyu. He looks so different, yet all the same since you’ve been acquaintances in high school. He carries his own weight now, an air of confidence that he’s finally reached over time.  

“Definitely not a baby anymore,” Rina scoffs. She clicks her tongue back to where Jungkook is seated. 

The sun is doing wonders for him, highlighting every crevice of where his biceps curl and twist as he lifts his hand in another drink. Their side of the lawn is doing a toast. For what, you don’t know. You do know however, that Jiyu is trying very hard to cheer right over Jungkook’s thighs, spilling some liquid over his knees. You smirk when Jiyu sends him an apologetic grin, dabbing a napkin up and across his thighs, far away from the wet spot. 

Jungkook, the poor guy, discreetly shoves her off. He brushes his hands and gets up, letting Jiyu fall back in the hammock all by herself. Avoiding the teasing gazes of his friends, he looks into the lake, hiding his blush. 

Still a baby, you think. Your baby. 

“Jiyu was practically sitting in your lap, baby boy,” you card your hand through his dark locks, fresh and shiny from the shower. The feeling is soothing to Jungkook’s scalp until you tug, arching his neck towards your lips and twisting, “did you like that,” you mumble into his Adam’s apple, “my little slut?” 

“N-no! Never, ohgodnever—” Jungkook is sweating, fat beads rolling down his hairline and glistening across his face. His fingers are practically phasing through your skin, the crescents of his fingernails sinking into the swell of your bottom. 

You clench around his dick, your soft folds urging Jungkook closer to his release. But he knows better not to move, and instead shudders from the ministrations, breaking apart from you to dip his head into your chest. His nose pokes at the bouncy flesh, nuzzling into your breast like the softest pillow. 

“Sh-shit, love,” he cries into your skin, “you feel so warm n’soft.” 

“You need to be quiet, baby,” you murmur, playing with the curls that hang around the nape of his neck, “unless—you want someone to hear? My little slut wants everyone to hear that I’m fucking you?” 

“Mm, no,” you grin at his honest reaction, and you can feel his neck heating up at the thought. Your fingers make their way, finally ending towards the apples of his cheeks. You squish lightly, loving the way his tanned skin puffs under your fingers. “I’m—ah—not a slut. I just really love you, only you. Really wanted to hold you in my lap today and show you off,” he whimpers at the unconscious clench of your folds, “just uh—slut for you, love.” 

You giggle, tightening your thighs around your boyfriend’s tiny waist. Your other hands trail down to the ridges of his abdomen, where you two are connected. You absolutely love the way your thighs wrap around his lean waist. 

Jiyu split the floors by girls and boys, as if you’re still in high school. It took forever for everyone to fall asleep, but you managed to sneak away with your bare feet slapping against the hardwood floor. Call yourself needy, but you couldn’t imagine yourself falling asleep with at least one good night kiss. Jungkook was ten steps ahead of you. Your boyfriend was already naked when you arrived, pumping his cock across the bed and getting himself ready for you. His eyes instantly zeroed in on you in his shirt, the black material hanging off your shoulder and begging to be pulled away by his teeth. 

“If I crawled in your lap today,” you murmur into his shoulder, “our whole secret would’ve been thrown out the window.” 

“I wouldn’t have minded, even if Jiyu got hurt,” Jungkook admits, running his hands up and down your back, “I wanna marry you, y’know.” 

You freeze in your ministrations, suddenly feeling the room go cold. Not in an unpleasant way, but the room freezes, the blue-white light of the moon igniting the seriousness in Jungkook’s gaze. You force yourself to stay on his lap, let his cock settle between your folds. The juices of your coupling are dripping down each other’s legs, cooling at your thighs and onto the white blankets. 

“You wanna marry me?” you echo, running your thumbs across his shiny lips. 

Of course, you’re at that age. Everyone around you is getting married, heck many people your age are already in the middle of creating a family, going on vacations to Disney and picnics in the playground. And yes, you also have thought about marrying Jungkook, he’s the only man you can picture marrying. Yet, hearing it out loud and from him only further fuels your desire to make these thoughts a reality. 

He kisses your thumbs, lips smushing against the pads. “Of course I do, love. You’re it for me.” 

You relinquish, slowly pulling yourself off of him. He’s still hard as you untack yourself, his member slapping against his belly button as he watches you in confusion. You make a show of fluffing up the pillows, arching your back and wiggling your ass as you make yourself comfortable to lay on your back. 

“Show me, baby,” you spread your legs for him, gesturing for him to come closer with a curl of your finger, “show me how much you want to marry me.” 

Jungkook smirks, hands immediately pumping with a squelching sound resulting from yours and his combined arousal. You love it when Jungkook takes the lead, just as much as you do. It makes you feel like a pillow princess, especially when you feel lovey sex is on the way. “Will you be quiet? Just like you tried to make me quiet?” he rasps, wrapping a hand around your waist to arch you up. 

“Depends on how good you are.” 

The head of his dick rubs against your clit, slapping lightly at the shiny skin. You both moan when he finally gives you what you both need. As soon as the tip of his dick sinks down, you feel like you’ve both hit home. It doesn’t take long for him to find his pace, naturally throwing your leg over his shoulder for added leverage. 

“Oh—fuck, baby,” you tug at his hair, pulling him in for a wet kiss. You don’t care that you’re slobbering all over him, the bed creaking and squeaking against his minstraitions. “I—uh, you feel so deep—yes!” 

“When we’re married I’ll fuck you every day like this, love,” he whispers between your lips, thrusting in a particularly sensitive spot that has you arching your back and pulling your chest to his, “I—ugh, I love you so much.” 

“Love you. Love youlovelove—ah! Kook, I’m—” 

The two of you don’t spare any time, the sun will eventually rise and you’ll be back to playing strangers. Jungkook pounds you into the mattress, nails you with enough cum for you to last the next day without having to sneak into each other’s room like horny teenagers. The roughness is smoothed out by love and bliss, eager at the thought of going home and anticipating a permanent life together. 

Five minutes later, you’re starting to feel a little too sticky. “Ohmygod—I need to fucking pee,” you pull yourself away from Jungkook’s sweaty body, palming around for your t-shirt.

“Just pee on the bed,” Jungkook grins. 

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you,” you make a face, “nasty.” 

“You like that I’m nasty.” 

“Yeah yeah.” 

With one last kiss, you skip away from his bedroom and close the door behind you. Unfortunately, as soon as you take five steps in the direction of the bathroom, somebody emerges from the shadows. 

“Holy shit, Jiyu,” you put a hand on your heart, eyes widening at her peeking in from the hallway. “You scared me.” 

“I’m so sorry,” she frowns, squinting her eyes to make you out in the dark. It’s easier to see her in her white slip, a thin chiffon material that barely covers her thighs. 

You don’t question why she’s out in the hallway in really pretty lingerie, or why she’s on the boy’s side of the house. So much for being discreet. Then again, there must be an ulterior motive for her if she’s already here, five feet away from Jungkook’s room. You wouldn’t have been caught if she hadn’t been so sneaky. (Well, not so sneaky. You got to him first.) You smell like sweat, arousal, and Jungkook. The shirt you’re wearing feels far too short and the cum in your panties feels tacky and gooey. You feel like a teenager being caught smoking. 

“Why?” Jiyu’s voice suddenly sounds as dark as the early morning, no sign of the sun. 

“Why what?” you answer, furrowing your brows at the sudden change in demeanor. 

“Why?” she hisses, eyes wide with pain and confusion, “why Jungkook?” 

You frown, not liking her attitude. Did she think it was a contest to who would fuck Jungkook first? Did she think she was being slick, sneaking away into a bedroom she has no business being in, even if he was single? You could laugh. So despite your height you steel yourself, looking at Jiyu straight in the eye. 

“Because Jungkook’s mine, and I’m marrying him.” 

As you pad down the hallway as fast as you can, you send Jungkook a quick text. 

[5:44AM] love: pack it up. Plan b go fake a fever we gotta go lol

[avengersapology-vid]

Avengers: College Edition

Steve: Criminal Justice and Studio Art double major. He doesn't want to torture himself with anything difficult and still wants to study what he loves. He is still an over achiever though. Highkey hates frat parties, saw someone twerking upside down and almost cried but stayed because hes the designated driver (responsible KING). prefers small get togethers with his friends. Roommates with sam and bucky!! Joins Criminal Justice club, jokingly rivals with Engineering (Tonys Club) Everyone on campus loves him including the professors, wins Homecoming king and is very happy. Sam jokingly asks to be his queen, Bucky butts in and says "NO, im his queen". Can be found in the library or art studio, usually with ink or pencil markings on his hands.

Tony: Obvi an engineering KING has physics as a minor. procrastinates to the max "No Bruce I have everything under control" *crams for 46 hours straight on a constant IV drip of Redbull and coffee* Super smart and helps draw the blueprint for the new engineering building. Roomies with Bruce! Tony was in a frat for a bit his freshmen year but hated it and wanted real friends (Throws better parties anyway) met Bruce and all the other avengers during a 1301 intro class. Pulls women like no tomorrow. On the presidents list every semester and tutors math for free on the side. He is basically the Dad in STEM. Tries hitting on Natasha but she is just like :/ nah, when her and bruce start dating tony is surprised because bruce is his "quiet little cinnamon roll." Tony constantly teases bruce and is like "yall fuckin (;" Steve butts in "tONY PLZ I JUST WANT TO WATCH THIS MOVIE" Bruce is thankful for steves intervention. You know how he rivals Steves Criminal Justice club? He butts heads with Business Clubs leader (Pepper) until everyone catches them together at a party. Has a caffeine addiction. Works out with Thor and Bucky one day in the rec and almost dies.

Bruce: Physics and Engineering double major (Hardworking KING) In math club with Vision and Wanda. He loves being roomies with Tony because it helps him out of his shell. Likes to draw with Steve sometimes and enjoys the quiet. Doesn't procrastinate and gets things done in a timely manor. 4.0 icon we all strive to be. Him and Nat already know each other, but bond and get a lot closer while studying in the library and they eventually start dating. He takes her coffee when she works across campus and is always almost late to class because of that (He doesn't care though bc thats his BABY) "Um.. Bruce your class is in 5 minutes" "Okay and?.....Wait I have an ex-" *Sprints to his building* Takes boxing at night with Thor, Bucky, Sam and Steve!!! Loves sparring with Thor and can surprisingly take the big buy on pretty well. Gets his butt kicked by Natasha in a MMA class though.

Natasha: Majors in Criminal Justice and Minors in Psychology. Ballet club AND MOCK TRIAL!! Has a Job at the Criminal Justice Deans office and takes MMA classes on the side. She is on Mock Trial with Loki and they actually get along quiet well once they stop butting heads about the case. Introduces Sam and Wanda to dance and they have so much fun. Coffee dates with Bruce!! Her and Steve become RAs in the following years and are the coolest RAs you know. Prefers night classes, Bruce walks her to all of them. Psychology classes are her favorite and really wants to help children one day. Volunteers at a daycare during breaks. Sis can really out drink Tony and Thor. Puts Wanda under her wing and helps her with fafsa and what not. Her and Bucky get the Russian language credit by simply testing out. Has her sh!t together and while she has a lot on her plate she can take it. She is really the Mom of the group. Can be found dancing or with Bruce. Her and Clint are icons in psychology classes.

Clint: Deaf Studies with education minor! (we stan deaf clint in the comics) In the Archery club and wins nationals for the Uni. Loves to draw with Steve. Helps Bruce ask Natasha out! PRANK ICON! loves to do prank wars with tony, bucky, loki and sam. Was in the same frat with Tony but hated it as well. While he seems to have a more reserved demeanor he is still the life of the party. (Like he knows people at the clubs ya know?) Can get in anywhere and helps everyone rent out a club for the night in celebration of midterms being over. Loves reading in the library and loves morning classes and being productive early in the day. Cracks Tonys netflix and hulu passwords (no tony... tonyr0cks69 is not good enough) Wants to teach at a school for the Deaf. Bruce sets him up with a girl from engineering and that is his future wife.

Thor: Physical Education major and Communications minor! Here on a football scholarship and is in a frat (not the asshole one tony was in) and is a partying ICON. Tries to get Loki to party but Loki just wants to drink wine with the cat he snuck into his dorm. Learns Sign from Clint to prepare for his career in education. Loves working out with Bucky, Sam and Steve. Takes up boxing during football off season and spars with Bruce. Despite being everyones fav himbo he gets really good grades and is a very good writer. Loki dorms across the hall from him. Thor actually rooms with Peter. Peter is the freshman baby and Thor takes peter under his wing and introduces him to everyone and helps him with college stuff in general. Also hooks him up with MJ and brings him to the occasional boxing session. Has a loud booming laughter you can hear in all floors of the library when he sees a funny meme. One time he actually makes a very good point and notices a flaw in one of Tony and Bruces projects leaves everyone stunned. Picks on Loki in big brother fashion. Unironically calls weed the devils lettuce.

Loki: Pre-Law and Criminal Justice. LOVES to argue. (Devils advocate ass) In Mock Trial and Criminal Justice Club. Tony jokingly calls him steves sexy secretary in CJ club. Loves Mock Trial and is the president with Nat as his right hand woman. Sneaks a cat he found at the shelter into his dorm and names it muffin. Stays in the Library writing or going over cases. The one time he was taking Natasha a copy of the Mock Trial case packet and caught her and bruce smooching. (He screeched) "Haha funny joke yall heres the case packet BYE." He automatically texts the group chat "i think nAT AND BRUCE HAVE SOME TEA FOR US HMM". Lets Peter and Bruce come over to his dorm because he knows their roommates can get a little too much sometimes. Loki also becomes an avid twitter user and thats how he gains popularity on campus. (He called the uni out for their awful and expensive parking) Was able to convince the Dean with tony and steve to create a new parking lot. Caffeine addict!!! Him and Tony always bump into each other at the coffee shop. Brings baked goods to meet ups with the gang. Loves to play pranks (especially on Tony) Him and Bucky come up with a genius prank on him and even get pepper involved. Best dressed on campus and is in the fashion club. He is the embodiment of dark academia.

Sam: Criminal Justice Major with Aerospace Engineering minor. Gets introduced to Bucky and Steve during move in and they literally become brothers. Is both in Criminal Justice Club and Engineering Club. In the Historically Black Frat on campus and takes huge pride in that. Parties with tony and thor BIG TIME. Procrastinates by throwing paper airplanes at Bucky until Bucky is like "Um...dude your paper is due in like two hours." At that moment Sam got into work faster than he ever had. Loves gossip sessions with Loki and Wanda. Works out a lot with Bucky, Steve and Thor to get rid of stress. When he and Bucky finish a final they go to loki's dorm and ask "Hey can we see your cat." Helps prep food for friends-giving and decorates the dorm for holidays. HATES 8ams so so so much. Steve promises him pancakes if he gets up and goes. Binge watches shows during weekends and screams when Destiel is finally canon. Loves running and gets a Track Scholarship when Thor gets him to join a sport. Gets Peter to join track.

Bucky: criminal justice major and psychology minor. Buck is also in ballet club with Nat, it really helps him relax and gives him a free space to think (also he runs that shit like no ones business) Criminal justice club as well and LOVES to work out and box. One time Sam accompanies him to ballet and Bucky pushes Sam into a split... the scream was heard for miles. "Sam ballet is good for athletes it helps w-" "Yeah but its not good for my balls" Doesn't willingly procrastinate but once in awhile he will forget an assignment, you best believe his eyes will snap open from his nap and get to work asap. For one of his psyche labs he had to question Steve as if he were Steve's therapist to which Steve responds "Hey bro you dont have to hit a nerve that deep" He also likes to do dance with peter since it helps him get away from Thor for a bit. Not a big partier but once the weight of finals are off his chest you best believe he will go all out. Picks on Nat and says hes gonna steal her man, to which tony interjects and says "Not if I do first" Bucky also has a very comfy dorm, comfy lighting and tons of pillows, the man loves his sleep... and so does everyone else. Sometimes he finds peter, sam, THOR, tONY EVERYONE just napping in his bed before their study time. Overall, bucky is a smart boy and his time in college is kind to him.

Wanda: English Major and Education Minor. After being an orphan Wanda knows what it feels like to not have a parental figure there and she wants to change that for other kids by becoming an english teacher. She volunteers at an orphanage, specifically the one her and pietro were in for a brief moment when they came to the states. She loves to draw as well and takes plenty of art classes with steve. She paints a portrait of the entire gang and gives it to tony as a graduation present (he cried). She loves to do volunteer work for children and also spend a lot of time in the library, She helped Nat calm down before Bruce asked her out. Her and Loki are in constant competition for best dressed. "Loki ill let you win best dressed but you have to let me see your cat" "ugh fine... btw your shirt doesnt match your boots" "hEY" Her and Peter take alot of intro classes together and are constantly running around craft stores trying to get the right stuff for projects. Visits Vision at his Job on Campus and he visits her where she volunteers and eventually they start dating. She is constantly getting visited by pietro at 4am asking "Um do you have milk" "Pietro its 4am what do you ne-" "my OREOS"

Pietro: Track star business major, frat ICON with Thor. poor boy is STRESSED he hates college and is here on a track scholarship, constantly late and running around getting shit done. Queen of late assignments but still gets them graded because he is in Track. Yeah he has alot on his plate but he still parties with thor for hours. When he is drowning in assignments Clint is always there to help him, Bruce also helps him with biology and the more science-y classes. Likes to mess around and race sam at track practice. Not into coffee but will run on all the monster energy drinks you could possibly buy. Seriously is tired of 8 a.m courses, he just wants to nap after practice. Walks into the study room that everyone was in and actually looks more sleep deprived than tony. He gets a lot of tips from steve on how to have an easier time in college and it really helps him.

Vision: Grad student working on a civil engineering masters and a TA. Meets Wanda in the library and she asks him where the biographies are. He mistakenly says they are on the 2nd floor "Uh theyre actually on the third" "Then why did you ask?" "Cause I wanted to talk to you :)" He swooned. Through Wanda he met Tony and Bruce and became their best friend, He helped out a lot with engineering club and got them far. He spends a lot of time doing research for his masters degree, he loves relaxing with the group on weekends and picks on pietro as if he is already apart of the family. Him and Loki bond over intellectual conversations from time to time. Bruce and Nat go on double dates with him and Wanda. Went to a bar once with tony and bruce and had to stop tony from singing Queens entire discography, he had the best night that night. Helps everyone with getting into jobs and into grad school in general while everyone helps him let loose and have some fun.

Peter: Peter is a Physics major and eventually works his way up to biochemistry. (hardworking icon) He is the freshman baby of the group and is introduced to them through Thor. He dances with Buck and Nat sometimes as well. Tony obviously takes peter under his wing and helps him with assignments. One time everyone was in the same study room and him and pietro have a redbull shot gunning challenge. When Peter wins Thor picks him up and almost yeets the poor boy into the ceiling. "VERY WELL DONE YOUNG PARKER YOU SHOULD BE DOING THAT WITH BEER IN NO TIME." "Thor plz" Tony and Thor help him ask MJ out and even spy on them during a dinner date. (Imagine thor with sunglasses and a scarf around his head pretending to be tonys date) He feels so accepted in college because of the gang and gets all his work done on time. Goes out of his way to get everyone christmas presents and is so excited for friendsgiving. Becomes a little stressball during finals and midterms and stays in the library till it closes. He spots loki alot in there and helps loki with science classes while loki helps him with political science classes. He meets MJ through wanda and is obviously blushing the whole time while being introduced. Gets embarrassed when the guys flirt with aunt may. "guys plz stop" This is when Sam earns his "milf hunter" nickname. "Pete hows your aunt?" "She doesnt want you sam i-" its not like that... actually it is like that"

Coulson: Alumni Icon. Is the gangs Intro professor and is the reason why everyone meets eachother. (the class was chaotic indeed) Coulson loved that class so much and he still gets visited by everyone from time to time. He is obviously close with Nick. They were there that night when Tony was signing Queen at the bar and couldnt help but laugh.

Nick Fury: Dean for criminal justice and is heavily involved with criminal justice club and mock trial. He is tired of everyones shit as always. Makes a tiktok account for the criminal justice club and has no idea how to manage social media so gets Loki to help. Has to delete it when Loki commented "hah losers" on the engineering tiktoks page. He looks intimidating but in his office he has a picture with the club and has all the gifts he gets on display. (He even framed lokis comment because it was hilarious afterall)

[iplaymatchmaker]

hello and good day! i would like a matchup for a3! and ikerev, please! she/her pronouns. you can call me juice, though! hm i think a good description of me personality wise would be im usually cheerful, friendly, childish but i tend to hide a lot of my negative feelings and overthink quite a lot. towards others i'm always curious about the littlest details of someone's hobbies or interest and sometimes i talk more than i listen. love literature and things like fashion or games (1)

Hello, thanks for requesting juice! Sorry for the long wait but I hope you enjoy it! I was pretty excited to write a match up for a3! since it’s been living rent free in my head for the last few weeks. I got a little carried away with the last prompt cause it was so fun to write, but I hope you like it! Also, the ikerev one might take some time but I’ll try to not take too long. Have fun!

I match you with

Tsuzuru!

The two of you first meet after you watch one of their plays, “A Clockwork Heart.” When you realize that the lead and writer is a classmate of yours from college you can’t help but approach him a few days later to discuss the play further.

He seems self conscious at first but quickly opens up as the two of you discuss his script and before you know it one conversation has turned into an in-depth discussion over lunch.

After that first encounter, both of you start talking more often, quickly growing closer. Tsuzuru appreciates your cheerful attitude, making it easy for him to be comfortable around you.

Considering your love for literature, you often help him brainstorm for new ideas, always looking forward to seeing how he brings it to life on stage.

It is easy for you to fit in with the rest of the boys from Mankai, despite their constant prying on your relationship with Tsuzuru. After all the time the two of you spend together, it is no surprise when none of the boys (except Azami) bat an eyelash when you make it official, after a lot of back and forth between friendship and romance.

Prompt: Bonding

“The reason S was created in the first place was because Luke needed a companion. It’s tragic that he was the one who left him in the end.”

“Well, yes, but he also taught him to open up to people, insuring that he wouldn’t be alone when he was gone.”

You and Tsuzuru had been discussing the end of his latest play “A Clockwork Heart” for a while, arguing over whether or not the ending was tragic. When you approached him to offer your praise for his work earlier that day you hadn’t been expecting him to engage in your opinions on a play he wrote, but he was actually deeply invested in the conversation, despite the matter at hand being trivial to the actual substance of the story.

“He couldn’t have known though. He also put his own wishes aside to protect him. That alone makes the ending tragic.” You vividly remembered the tears you had shed when the show reached its climax, a result of both his script and his acting.

“It depends on your idea of what the ending was. S was a machine, so as long as Luke was alive they could meet again, when it was safe for the both of them. That makes the ending-“

Ring Ring

You almost chucked at the generic sound his phone made as it vibrated.

“Give me a sec.” he moved away from the bench before answering. It wasn’t long before he returned, a flush expression on his face.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I had kept you for so long. I actually need to get going.” He ran a hand through his hair, smiling shyly. It was only then that you noticed what time it was.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to bother you for that long!” Now you were both flushed, the realization dawning on you that you had spent two hours talking.

“I-it’s fine. Um, we can continue this tomorrow, if you’d like?” you were surprised he actually wanted to talk again, a smile spreading over your face.

“Definitely. “

“Okay. See you then!” he waved as he ran off while simultaneously trying to dial someone, resulting in him almost falling on his face. You looked forward to tomorrow.

After that first encounter, you continued to meet during lunch to talk about other works, quickly realizing you had a similar taste in books and movies. It was an easy transition, going from acquaintances to friends.

“How’s the summer troupe’s play coming along?” It was easy to tell that he had been losing sleep again from the – almost – comical black circle under his eyes, but you asked anyway, hoping that you could offer some help.

“I know what I want to write, the words are just refusing to form and settle themselves on the page.” The frustration was evident on his face as he tried to put the pieces flying around his head in order. You tried to think of a way to help him but you knew that he needed to figure this out on his own.

“Come on.” You forcefully pulled him out of his chair, carefully shutting his laptop.

“W-wait. Where are we going?” you pushed him along, despite his protesting.

“Trust me.” You flashed him your biggest smile before setting of, only mildly aware that your hand was still around his wrist.

“The movies?” he seemed confused over what your objective was but you were confident it would help him out of his slump.

“Yes. Come on, I’ll even get us popcorn!” you were beaming as you led him inside.

“What are we watching?” Tsuzuru, finally resigned to his fate, flipped through the leaflet, looking at the moves currently playing.

“Your choice, I’m fine with whatever.” You hurried to the bar to pick up snacks, leaving him at the ticket booth.

“Look at those effects.”

“The acting is top notch.”

Tsuzuru had been so immersed in the movie he seemed to have forgotten all about his tiredness. When you exited the theatre you could practically see the gears turning in his head.”

“It’s a very different take on pirates than the summer troupe’s play, but if I exaggerate the characters even more then there would be great opportunity for comedy.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you as you observed him, completely lost in his own mind.

“So I take it the creative juices are flowing again?” he looked back at you, as if seeing you clearly for the first time in days.

“Yes! Thank you!” He put his arms around you, too far lost in his excitement to feel any awkwardness.

“I-I have to go write! I’ll see you tomorrow.” He continued shouting thank you over his shoulder as he run off with newfound energy. You expected you wouldn’t see him the next day, considering he’d probably be passed out by then, but you smiled anyway.

“See you later!”

Prompt : Cinderella:

“So, you’re thinking of doing Cinderella for the next play?” You and Tsuzuru were hanging out in his room, taking full advantage of Masumi’s absence that weekend.

“Yeah… I’m not sure how to go about it though. Everyone in the Spring Troupe agreed that I should be lead this time around but I just don’t see myself in the shoes of a prince… Itaru would probably be a better fit for the role.” You couldn’t help throwing a pillow his way.

“Hey! What was that for?” You sat up a little straighter, tempted to glare at him until he picked up on your annoyance.

“I can definitely picture you in the role of the prince.” You cleared your throat before switching to your best narrator voice.

A long, long time ago there lived a boy and a girl. They were the best of friends when they were children. The boy would often sneak out to meet with her and they would play for hours. But their happiness would not last long.

You see, the girl grew up to be the maid of one of the less-fortunate royal families in the kingdom. She had been forced into that position by her father’s latest wedding. It would also turn out to be his last, for he died a few years later, leaving her in the care of a wicked stepmother.

One the other hand, the boy grew up to be the most charming prince in the land. The women fawned over him and he always had everything his heart could desire.”

“I’m literally none of those things.”

“Fine then.”

The prince was an idiot who didn’t know how to take care of himself and never asked for help. He constantly worried his friends over his health but they loved him anyway.

“That’s not any better…”

“Shh, let me continue the story.”

Their difference in class ripped the two friends apart, putting an end to their relationship. While they weren’t allowed to meet again, they promised to never forget about each other. To keep that promise, the made matching bracelets and agreed to never take them off until they could meet again.

“Friendship bracelets? Who does that?”

“They were kids! Would you have preferred rings?”

“Wouldn’t those basically be promise rings?”

“I’m coming up with this on the spot, give me a break!”

That bracelet was what gave the girl the strength to continue living, despite her struggles.

When news of a ball arrived at the estate, her step-sisters were quick to start preparations, eager to have a chance at the prince’s hand in marriage. The girl was simply happy at the prospect of seeing her friend again.

When her family found out she was planning to attend the ball, they locked her in the cellar, not willing to risk any competition. The girl wept and wept, until suddenly a kind seeming lady appeared in front of her.

“Isn’t this just the movie?”

“Give it a second!”

The lady promised she would help her get to the ball if that was what she wished. Despite her suspicions, the girl earnestly declared that all she wanted was to see her friend again. And so the kind woman flicked her wrist and the rags the girl had been wearing were replace by a rich ball gown, paired with a glass slippers. The girl thanked her again and again before heading off in search of her lost friend.

“She doesn’t warn her about the time limit?”

“There’s no curfew here, it’s a stupid conflict anyway.”

You couldn’t contain the excitement and adrenaline that flowed through you as you went up the steps of the grand palace. You hadn’t been here since you were a child, when the king’s father still allowed you to visit, and childhood memories flooded your mind. It was difficult to keep your nerves at a reasonable level as you approached the guards at the front gate. By the time you had arrived at the palace, most of the guests were already inside, so you were completely alone when you handed the invitation, hoping the witch had done her work well.

“Enjoy your evening.” They smiled before urging you to step inside. A sense of awe filled you as you walked through the somewhat familiar halls, remembering all the places you and Tsuzuru would hide from the servants, before his title meant anything to you.

You weren’t sure you remembered the way to the main hall, so you followed the noise, hoping you could make your way there.

When you finally stood outside what seemed to be the entrance, you took a few deep breaths before walking forward, determined to see your friend again. When you stepped though the door you quickly realized that the door wasn’t the room’s main entrance, but the top of the grand staircase. Dread filled you as everyone’s eyes fell on you. If it wasn’t for the railing you thought you have fainted right then and there. You breathed in, allowing you hand to wrap around the bracelet the two of you had made so long ago, letting the warm feelings it carried spread through you.

You bowed once before making your way down the stairs, hoping you wouldn’t trip on your dress and make a fool of yourself before the night even started.

The moment you were off the last step, your eyes fell on your step-mother, eyeing you with absolute envy and disgust. You hoped the mask would be enough to conceal your identity.

You walked around the room for a bit, keeping to the less populated areas, hoping to catch a glimpse of Tsuzuru, disappointed to find that he was nowhere to be found.

“Please let this not be for nothing…”

You were about to make your way to the balcony, but a swarm of guests was suddenly in your path, dancing to the waltz the band had just started playing. You frantically looked around, searching for a way out when two arms wrapped around you, pulling you along with the rest of the dancers.

“I guess you’re my partner?” the face of the man that stood before you made your jaw drop. You had thought of so many things to say, but now that Tsuzuru was standing before you, the words seemed to catch in your throat.

“So, uh, are you having fun?” he was as awkward as you remembered. Something about the familiarity filled you with a sense of calm. I found him.

“I am now.” It was hard to contain the smile quickly spreading around your face.

“Actually I was-“that was when it was time to switch partners. When you felt his hand slip from yours, panic flooded through you. No… I didn’t have the chance to tell him.

As he pulled his hand away, his fingers brushed the bracelet on your wrist, eyes widening as he was whisked away by another partygoer, realization evident in his features. You tried to get closer, but were quickly taken away by another guest. Your eyes landed on Tsuzuru a few times but the hall was too crowded. It was almost suffocating. You took the first chance to slip out on the balcony, eager to get away from the crowds.

You stood at the railing, letting the air cool down your heated face. He had seen you, but you weren’t sure he would care enough to search. Negative thoughts occupied your mind as you gazed at the land beyond. Maybe this was foolish… He probably barely remembers me… He’s a prince after all. He was more important matter to attend to than a peasant he used to spend his free time with. You felt tears gathering at the corners of your eyes, your own loneliness catching up with you.

“Please don’t cry!” You were shocked to find Tsuzuru standing a few feet away from you, his face flushed and his knees bent. He must’ve been running.

“You’re the girl from back then, aren’t you?” he glanced down at your wrist, pulling up his own sleeve to reveal a bracelet identical to yours.

“Y-you kept it.” Your voice cracked, barely audible in the midst of the ongoing celebrations.

“Of course I did! It meant a lot to me.” The words seemed to call to something inside you and so you let the tears fall.

“W-what did I do? Please don’t cry!” he took a step closer, still unsure of what boundaries existed between you.

“I-I can’t help it. I’m just so happy!” you wrapped your arms around him, not caring who saw you. All that mattered in that moment was that the two of you were reunited at last.

“I missed you.” You couldn’t see his face, but you could tell he was crying too, by the way his heart beat against your, the way his hands shook, still wrapped around you in a tight embrace. Year’s worth of loneliness and regret spilled out of the both of you in a single moment.

You stayed like that for quite some time, allowing the relief to wash over you. When you looked at each other again, you couldn’t help but laugh at your state. You knew the scene must look ridiculous to any outside spectators, but none of them mattered. It felt like you were alone in the world, no barriers between you. Your class didn’t matter. You were just a boy and a girl who had been reunited.

“ The king was skeptical at first, knowing a commoner queen wouldn’t create any new alliances, but he could see the love his son had for the girl. And so they married. It’s said that the pair practically run down the stairs of the palace after their wedding, eager to get to their honeymoon, their laughter echoing through the streets.”

“That’s an ending befitting a prince Muku reads about in manga… I still don’t see where I fit into this… ”

“Fine. As they descended the staircase, the prince fell on his ass, causing even more laughter from the girl. A moment she would never let him forget.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the earnest look on Tsuzuru’s face. He may be clumsy, but he has always been kind.

“It will need a lot modifications, especially considering the fact that none of us can exactly pull off female roles, but it could work.” At some point through the story Tsuzuru seemed to have pulled out a notebook, in which he was now scribbling away.

“Are you seriously taking notes?” he was still focused on the story, not letting the inspiration go to waste.

“Of course I am. You’re brilliant!” he pulled you in for a kiss, taking you completely by surprise.

“You’re the best.” He turned back to his note taking, leaving you with flushed cheeks and a bright smile.

“You too.”

And they lived happily ever after.

[ineedgreentea]

April 25th, 2019 8:43 am

(Skip to Last paragraph for thinspo lol)

So I've decided. Like literally I'm not enjoying my life. Everyone in it seems fake, even people I've known for years, even my own family. Like no one cares. Like the more I'm with people the more I want to do this.

THIS IS NOT A SUICIDE NOTE btw

But basically I'm leaving. I'm going to save up a bunch of money. And I'm just going to disappear. The great thing about this I'm losing weight, and by the time I get to my goal weight I wont be recognizable. I've always been a big girl. I avoid pictures and videos of my whole body for this purpose. I'm going to move into a room for rent to the place I want to be. I'm trying to save up at least 7,000. My car is in my moms name so I cant take it. All the clothes I have are gonna be too big so it won't matter if I take them. I'll make sure that I get a job down there the week I move there so I can start right away. I have to do it a day or weekend I know my parents wont be here so I can take my new clothes. Or I'll just leave at night. I'm not telling anyone because I dont owe anyone anything. I'm going to delete my Facebook's and insta so no one can contact me. I told my older brother who doesnt live with us that I thought about it but it's not official. This was three weeks ago so he probably thinks I got over it. Though I did tell him that if I do disappear that I'll contact him in 5 months with an "I'm okay" on a fake texting app, so he wont be able to contact me. I'm not giving all the information I'm doing because I Do Not recommend doing this. I turn 20 this year, please 13-17 year olds do not try to do this.

Before anyone says anything. I've thought about this for a long time. Being here makes me so depressed. The way people talk and use me. I'm too nice. People walk all over me, friends, family, it's too easy. I grew up in the church so a lot of Christian people here know me. It frustrating. I have probably one best friend I call my sister, and my family. That's it. No one actually cares. And my family... ugh. My brother told me ever since I was little I was fat, ugly and no one would ever love me. Until he moved out. We always got in huge fights. My mom, shes a manipulator. She'll do anything to get her way, even if it means hurting you in the process. Im mentally I'll because of them. My dad is fine, I was his princess but lately... I cant even talk about it without crying. He didn't hurt me! Well physically. My oldest brother is okay but I probably see him once every few weeks... living here makes me depressed. The thought of leaving forever is so breathtakingly amazing I get excited just thinking about it.

Yes I feel bad that my family wont know where I am or if I'm really okay, but it doesnt matter. This about MY happiness. Not theirs.

Fyi I just wanted to say that yes I'm 19, I might not know anything "about life" you'll probably say, but you dont know what I've been through. Literally nothing you say can convince me of not doing this

Isn't it exciting to think about just going to a new place, with a new body, where no one knows you? Where you can finally be free? I'll be able to wear what I want with confidence without worrying about people who used to know you saying "how did they do that? They're probably anorexic now." They wont know! They think you're naturally skinny. Because they dont know you. You'll have a new life with new people. I'm so excited.

Wish me luck

[getawaycarsie]

L💗VER HAS OFFICALLY BEEN OUT FOR 24 HOURS AND IVE FINALLY HAD TIME TO PROCESS. So here are my thoughts in word form. I’m sorry it’s all jumbled and crazy.

bear with me if I mess up, it’s 18 new songs and I’m trying my best.

1.i forgot you existed

“free rent living in my mind.” HOLY SHITBEYSTCYRUEHEHDYDYY. THIS IS SUCH A FUN ALBUM OPENER. I AM IN AWE. THIS CAN ONLY GO UP.

2. CRUEL SUMMER

UM OKAY BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT WHEN I LISTEN TO THIS IS ELLEN. HOW DID SHE STAY QUIET?!?!? THIS IS SO FUN AND I COMPLETELY PLAN ON JAMMING TO THIS IN MY CAR FOR EVERY WEEKEND UNTIL FALL OFFICIALLY STARTS. THIS IS SUCH A BOP.

3. LOVER

OKAY BUT LIKE THIS IS THE SLOW SONG WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR! THE LOVE?? SHE DESERVES. PERIOD. SHE IS SO HAPPY AND IT MAKES MY HEART FEEL LIKE ITS GOING TO BURST. HOW DID THE SS NOT LOSE THEIR MINDS. like ??? are y’all okay???

4. THE MAN

ID BE A FEARLESS, AN ALPHA TYPE? UM EXCUSE ME CAN I TATTOO THIS ON MY FOREHEAD?!?!? THIS IS THE FEMINIST BOP WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. like she said WHAT SHE SAID. I WILL FOREVER SCREAM THIS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. EVERYTHING. SHE. SAID. WOW. this is our reality and she SPOKE IT. GUYS SHE REALLY DID T H A T. & SHE SAID BITCH. I REPEAT SHE SAID BITCH. POWER MOVE.

5. THE ARCHER

DO I NEED TO SAY ANYMORE OTHER THAN I SIMPLY BAWL MY EYES OUT EVERY TIME. THERES NO OTHER WORDS. JUST TEARS. PLEASE READ ALL THOSE SPEECHES TO ME. I NEED TO HEAR THEM.

6. I THINK HE KNOWS

OH MY GOD AND WE THINK GORGEOUS DID HIM JUSTICE OH MY GOD. WTF I WASNT READY. SHE LOVES HIM SO MUCH. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 🥺🥺

7. MISS AMERICANA AND THE HEARTBREAK PRINCE

I WAS ALSO NOT READY.... but like when am I EVER?! LOL WHY IS SHE REFERENCING HER TEEN YEARS SO MUCH?? IS THIS LIKE A HINT? OR AM I JUST SILLY. like this is SO cute and such a bop. I WANT A BOO TO JAM OUT TO THIS WITH. this entire album makes me want to fall in love. I love her.

8. PAPER RINGS

THE BEGINNING? UM ITS SO CUTE. I WANT TO FALL IN LOVE??? TO THIS SONG?? YES. I MARRY YOU?!?!? SHE MARRIED WHO?

9. CORNELIA STREET

UM WHO IS GOING TO NEW YORK WITH ME? I WANT TO WALK HER EXACT FOOT STEPS. SHES THE CUTEST THING EVER. THIS IS JUST??? PERFECT. (hardcore stanning.)

10.DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS

THE SOUND?? I AM DIGGING IT. THE LONG WAY HOME. THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS. I DONT KNOW. I CANNOT WAIT TO SCREAM THIS ON TOUR. THE STORY IS OVER??? EXCUSE ME WHAT?! I’m HURTING. I keep pretending it’s okay... but it’s not... it’s a death by a thousand cuts. UM I AM IN LOVE. A BAD DRUG? NEVER.

11. LONDON BOY

hello joe. we notice you. we love you. thank you for making her so happy. you’ve set the bar so high for the love I want. thank you for taking such good care of our girl. we all love you. god I love the English???? UM YES WE DO.

12. SOON YOU’LL GET BETTER

okay the title had me BAWLING. I can’t even. secret sessioners ARE YOU ALIVE. who went to the hospital? oh okay. all of you? well I’m glad you’re okay... because I am absolutely positively NOT. I know what it was like when my mom had a leak after her surgery and got really sick.. like this hit home. I was sitting in my friends living room and I literally had to get out of there and I sat on her bathroom floor bawling my eyes out because I remember telling my mom she had to get better. not for for... but for me. she’s my best friend and I have no idea what I’d do without her. I can’t... this song HAS ME FEELING ALL KINDS OF WAYS. 😭 ALL ABOUT YOU? OH MY MY MY HEART SHATTERED. “WHAT IF THERES NO YOU?” OH MY. STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP. HOW DID SHE SING THIS WITHOUT BAWLING? I JUST WANT TO HUG HER. (STANNING SO MF HARD.)

13. FALSE GOD

um the intro is like groovy? idk I was digging it. THIS ISNT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING... but I’m not disappointed??? WOW. her mind is BEAUTIFUL.

14. YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN

a bop that has actually really grown on me??? bc like damn it’s 7 am??? TWITTER. HEY. ARE YOU OKAY? Well honestly I’m anything but calm right now. SPEAK YOUR MIND. A SISTER REALLY SNAPPED WTH. STOP HATING ON SINGLES

15. AFTERGLOW

IM STANMING VERY HARD. BOXING WITH NO GLOVES? UM TAYLOR HUNNY YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE ARMY WAITING TO PUT THEIR LIFE ON THE LINE FOR YOU. ITS ON ME???? HOW IS SHE GOING TO MAKE CUTS FOR TOUR? IM READY TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. DO NOT CUT ANY OF THESE BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECES. PLEASE.

16 ME!

AGAIN, STOP HATING ON SINGLES. IF THIS DOESNT MAKE YOU WANT TO FALL AND LOVE AND JUMP AROUNG THE LIVING ROOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING??

17. IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND

okay so by the title I’m crying again.... (are we really shocked?? no.) okay but like it is SO nice to have a friend. life isn’t meant for one person. you’re going to enjoy it so much having people around you, even if it’s a friend. especially when you feel alone. I really feel like this is to todrick because he’s been here throughout it all and could’ve left if he wanted to, but he didn’t. he’s always had taylor’s back. I appreciate him more than he’ll ever know. like this song is so beautiful, but also makes me want to get up and dance, but also ball my eyes out?? idk but I love it. I LOVE ONE WOMAN. one.

18. DAYLIGHT

what a closer? like I’m just in love with it.

L💗VER

this album is like... holy wow. she did not hold back at all. @taylorswift thank you for being vulnerable and putting your life out there for us. thank you for giving us songs to dance around the kitchen to, to bawl our eyes out, to relate to, to scream lyrics to, to bond over, to let us in on your life. thank you for being you. I love you dearly. I will always stay. ✨💛

[gwoongi]

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | teacher!hoseok

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 jung hoseok / reader teacher + expecting parents au! genre: fluff fluff fluff (and a lil baby bit of smut) + bullet fic version :) words: 26k (so maybe read this on a laptop but if you insist on a phone then don’t say i didn’t warn you!!!!)

warnings: graphic language, smidge of nsfw content, student/teacher relationship, jung hoseok being the best boyf and parent ever :(

a/n: y/n is legal !!! hoseok is the typical cliche young teacher !!! i love this story a lot (i plan to write it in full soon!!! just whenever i have time teeheehee) ((also im really sorry the balloons look demonic idk what happened and honestly. too lazy to edit it)) (((this fic is a MONSTER!!! i’m sorry in advance!!!)))

disclaimer: as per freaking usual, keep reading does not work on mobile. i am so sorry because this is SO LONG and big but its ok :( because it’s dad hoseok :( 

(gif is not mine!)

happy new year (as a starting note!) i was gone for a long, long time on this blog and did actually consider getting rid of it entirely, however, i’m back to share things that i love and hopefully, you can all enjoy the things i create also. i don’t usually write like this, but i saw a variety of writers adopt a “bullet-list-style” of writing, which i found to be quite efficient. i am the world’s slowest writer and so writing like this actually helps me publish a lot of my ideas without feeling the pressure of writing out like 300k word fics that honestly get ignored. regardless, here’s my first post (technically) of the new year. (this idea has been in my drafts since the “cosykims” days, and og followers will recognise the title.)

now i don’t care what you say, every single school, college or university has that one teacher who is just way too young to actually be a teacher

you briefly remember high-school, with your physics teacher who was just way too young- like borderline could be a student themselves, and yet here they were with their rainbow stationery set teaching you the speed that light travels

and it’s universally known that some people are like child geniuses and end up graduating university aged three or something really bizarre and crazy

(obvs sarcasm)

so, for the love of god...why was there no young hot professor for you to spy on during your lectures

you’re currently a second year uni student, studying visual arts

which, by the way, is awesome

you started off initially very interested in just drawing, but taking modules in sculpting was something you actually found yourself loving and, not to brag, but you’re also pretty good at photography

like as a kid you could probably be found eating crayons and snorting felt fumes like you were an art junkie

kids in your classes were asking for leapfrogs or action figures for christmas but here you were asking for a £300 pencil colouring set along with a “by numbers” colouring book

picasso is shaking rn

like...funny how leonardo da vinci hasn’t released any new artwork since you were born….hm inch resting

“y/n. you, me, some other people, smirnoff and dr pepper, house party, saturday night, is it a yes, or is it a yes?”

jeongguk has been your best friend since your first semester at university; he also took visual arts and does extremely well in all areas, particularly photography and cinema/media study. ever since you partnered together after both being the first ones to turn up to the first class, you’ve been stuck together like glue, even going as far as to rent out a flat together for your second year (along with three other people, just to make the rent easier)

“uh, actually, no, i can’t, as tempting as that whole ordeal sounds.”

“but then when am i gonna see you?”

“i literally see you every day, we LIVE TOGETHER..”

“it’s not the same thing!!”

every saturday for you is the “flat 18 party night” which literally translates to the day that your entire flat go out to any party they can get invited to and just get smashed

it started off as a you and jeongguk thing but then when you moved into flat 18 at the start of your second year, it became a you, jeongguk, haseul, jimin and seunghee thing, and by extension, a year 2 uni student party since the rest of your flatmates found the need to invite all their other friends

basically it was the only day of the week where you were really granted a day off

and jeongguk really fucking loved party night saturdays

“well, what’s the reason then?”- the two of you are currently on your way to your last class of the day; it’s a sort of orientation day for upcoming students who can’t attend the open days next weekend, and so your visual arts professor (who happens to be an actual BEAST) ended up cancelling afternoon classes to help another professor sort out the gym

“family wedding sort of thing,” you explain as you walk. “if i could get out of it, trust me, i wouldn’t. i don’t know if my kidneys can handle another night of drinking. i hadn’t recovered from saturday until wednesday!”

“i’m pretty sure it’s your liver that gets affected by alcohol, but go off i guess...”

“ANYWAYS so yeah i’m sort of maybe like head bridesmaid and i have to be there so….yeah….can't make it :(”

jeongguk then discovers that the wedding is for one of your cousins that you were always really close to, and so even when he’s still really bummed out about you not being there for the “big shindig” he lets it go

especially because he of all people knows that you’ve never been particularly close with all of your family members and it’s only very recently that you got back in touch with them all (just after your first year of uni, to be precise) and he knows how much it means to you

haseul is one of the only other person in your flat who is an “art” major

she actually studies theatre and performing arts but she likes to still be in on the art grind with you and guk

(fun fact: the trio of you called yourselves “art attack” as a funny joke and all have printed art attack door signs in the flat)

haseul always always always tries to wait for both of you after classes because the performance hall and practise rooms are like RIGHT THERE and she’s sort of a little creature of habit and after waiting once or twice it just became a natural thing

today though she’s not waiting because apparently seunghee is doing a biology project and needed help moving it and setting it all up in the labs and haseul was free and so offered her services

usually if you’re free, anyone of you will wait for each other after classes

haseul usually waits for you and guk and then sometimes you guk and haseul go to get seunghee and jimin, especially on thursdays and fridays since they are sort of the weekday party dates

“are we going to see the project after class?”

you glanced up from your canvas stained with reds and blues towards jeongguk who actually hasn’t even looked up from his own drawing, still painting the still life ugly ass vase in the middle of the room

class is actually really quiet today, which makes sense because it’s a friday and there’s always, you know for a fact, a student union get together on thursday evenings and half the uni abuse it and get hammered

and so uni is literally DEAD the next morning

“um yes of course I really wanna see her volcano in action okay i helped make that.”

“technically we all helped make it...”

“well nobody ASKED YOU FOR YOUR OPINION.”

eventually your class ends early because it’s literally just you guk and some other kid who doesn’t talk to anybody and so you and guk decide to head over to the biology labs in the science department

judging by the time, their class should actually be over but knowing seunghee and her stubbornness, her volcano is most definitely still there shooting little rocks onto the floor

rightly predicted because seunghee stands really proud next to her dodgy looking volcano that everyone in flat 18 helped make while off their rockers 

and haseul is awkwardly sitting on a stool to the other side, admittedly on her phone playing zepeto or whatever

“tell me it isn’t the best volcano you’ve ever seen!”

“seunghee, baby, it’s so cute, i LOVE the way it’s literally falling apart!!” jeongguk and seunghee have a super loving friendship, sometimes you sit back and think they’d be the cutest couple on planet earth and then you realise that its GUK and HEE and you wanna erase that thought from your head

guk takes a really quick pic on his phone so he can show jimin, who would definitely complain otherwise because “i literally painted the whole thing brown i think that deserves recognition!”

“please tell me it got a passing grade” 

you sort of need seunghee’s volcanic mess to have passed because you did not have to hear her talk about how excited she was to present her volcano that actually burned things if you put it close enough for six days straight, just for it to flop and get nothing

“i personally loved the reinvented cliche of the volcano model, so i actually gave it higher than passing.”

you turn almost embarrassingly quickly

because

well

you know that voice

everybody with brain cells knows that voice

cause like

professor jung is literally THE biology professor

like he’s the king of biology

you have to admit to yourself that you were secretly so happy when guk made friends with seunghee through jimin (a physics major) because you knew through the grapevine that seunghee was a student in professor jung’s class and everybody and anybody knows that professor jung is the Daddy of biology

like he’s so gorgeous and inventive and creative and passionate and sometimes you just sit there and think “why the fuck didn't i take biology??”

and then you remember that the only thing that helped you get through high school biology was the fact that seo youngho (god bless his soul) sat next to you and gave you all his answers on internal exams

he’s also one of THOSE professors

like he’s one of the cliche fanfiction Young Genius professors

granted he’s still a solid four years older but still, it’s in the legal age frame and he’s still remarkably young to be a uni professor and that’s what you tell yourself when you feel guilty about thirsting over him and the way he looks so damn sexy in that white lab coat and black turtleneck

ANYWAY

when you see him you kind of flush and look away

it’s not obvious that you like him tbh, because you’ve by now mastered to keep it under control unless around flat 18 and incredibly dangerously drunk

that of course doesn’t stop guk from smirking next to you and giving you little nudges which is, quite frankly, annoying as FUCK

tbh flat 18 know you thirst over professor jung and so they waste no time trying to bring it up deliberately, but you’re not obvious at showing you like him in front of him

cause he’s popular and definitely has a group of girls in seunghee’s class who like him a lot and giggle obnoxiously like its high school

you’re not THAT desperate

“oh, good, because i didn’t want it to be a waste of my time.”

he raises a brow

“...becAUse i had to listen to seunghee talk about how good her project was all week. HERS, that she worked on totally alone. like i didnt even know she was doing a project- wow, seunghee, did you make this volcano? wow hahah look at that guys!”

not that professor jung even cares that she got help

seunghee is the only student who respects his crazy biology analogies and jokes so she’s naturally one of his faves

“yeah, and, prof jung didn’t give us homework so im completely free for tomorrow’s big shindig.” seunghee says, still smiling really proudly

“first of all why is everybody saying shindig, second of all i cant go to that so im sorry please don’t post it on snapchat because it will hurt my feelings that you’re having fun without me” and everyones like :) and then like :O :(

bear in mind professor jung is literally still here, he’s just by his desk tidying up only half listening because kids are wild these days and he doesn’t remember having half as much fun when he was in university

“um. WHAT why???? you know saturdays are our days like those are the days we actually get to see you because you’re always in your room sleeping or working”

“that’s not true at all, that’s very inaccurate...”

“you literally watched all 7 seasons of game of thrones in less than three days two weeks ago and i dont think i saw you once during that time”

valid point

“im at a wedding :( and i cant miss it :( even for dr pepper and vodka :( im sorry :(”

at that point professor jung scares you all back into reality. “oh wow that’s so weird because i’m at a wedding too this weekend, actually. wouldn’t that be so weird if we were at the same wedding?”

please be at the same wedding as me “omg imagine that ahhaahha”

but then you realise that’s just not realistic

and even if it was realistic for professor jung hoseok to attend your cousin’s wedding then nothing would happen because weddings are big and busy and you like barely know professor jung beyond making small-talk with him when you’re waiting for seunghee to hurry up and pack away all three of her pencil cases after classes

you actually forgot how stressful weddings are

the last wedding you went to was your aunt’s wedding when you were like five and you were a little flower girl who ruined all the wedding photos by covering her ears and scrunching up her face because the church bells were really fucking loud

which as a kid you thought was perfectly valid, but now that you’re twenty turning twenty one you realise how annoying it must be to have a mongrel child pulling ugly faces at the front of your precious wedding photos

“remind me to never ever get married”

your mom kinda just looks at you and frowns

“i remember when i got married i had my maid of honour and bridesmaids do everything for me so i was actually really relaxed. maybe when you get wifed up you’ll be the same”

wise words from mrs l/n that you’ll probably forget within the next five minutes!

even though it’s so infuriating sorting out the brides big ass dress and making sure that the designated flower girl (who btw is not as good as you were aged 5 dressed in pink and wearing barbie trainers) doesn’t spill all the goddamn petals onto the floor before the aisle, you find that the ceremony is actually really kinda beautiful and touching and yES, maybe the vows made you tear up a little bit

and you bARELY remember the greeting ceremony afterwards which is basically another way of saying “wait for us to get back while we sign these papers” which is also another way of saying It’s time for all the guests to awkwardly wait around and not do anything

you literally haven’t met a single person from the groom’s side of the family and you’re not really interested in doing so until the after party

like most after parties this one is pushed up in a hired out room near the venue and it’s dark and slightly sweaty and hey, at least the food is nice and OMG they have baby sausage rolls

after obviously talking to your family for a little bit, you occupy your time by the snacks and the bar just kind of moving between the two

yknow just minding your own business

“woah, they have tiny sausage rolls, too?”

oh god

you instantly turn around like its deja vu or something

there is no way that professor jung is standing right there at your COUSINS wedding like its no big deal

“...prof JUNG?? omg what are you doing here??”

“i jinxed it! the groom is actually one of my family friends. yeah, he’s been like best friends with my sister since they were in school and so we were close growing up.”

it’s sort of a relief, somewhere deep down inside, knowing that professor jung isn’t like indirectly related to you through marriage

“and, please, y/n, we’re not at school!! please call me hoseok!”

you’re like tearing up inside,,,,on a first name basis with the hot biology professor.,,,,,.....,,, it’s a miracle

also

how does he know who you are

“i didn’t know you knew my name,” you sort of blurt it out as you think it and he starts laughing really cutely and takes like three sausage rolls off the plate on the table

“well, you’re seunghee’s friend! and uh, the bride literally said your name in the speech at dinner.”

“oh. okay well cool haha yeah. wow. this is so weird.”

you actually thought prior to this moment that talking to professor jung- HOSEOK- even when you’re with seunghee in the labs would be really awkward????

because you’re no biologist and the only thing you remember about biology was a video that scarred you for life about a whale's stomach exploding everywhere like the t-rex out of land of the lost

and plus because he’s cute and smart and also a teacher which was. pretty much a big deal...like a big big deal

“okay, but you’re also legally old enough to do it..it’s not like you’re fifteen and he’s thirty,” said the sadistic voice in your head. you liked to ignore that voice a lot

but contrary to popular belief hoseok is actually really really easy to talk to

it’s almost like he’s been your friend for like your entire life and it’s only a little bit weird for you to be laughing your ass off with your friends biology professor at your cousins wedding but hey anything can happen and at least you’re having fun !!!!

naturally…...fun can go…….well…….too far……….sometimes

it’s like quarter to midnight and the party is still going strong and your cousin is like really going for it on the dance floor with your mom and a few of your other family members and oh wow look at this at some point you’ve ended up smushed against hoseok’s side with another glass of smirnoff and dr pepper in honour of flat 18 having fun without you rn

and he doesn’t seem to mind about the way you lean up with your whole cleavage against his chest to talk to him bc its loud as fuck and he can’t hear you from up here

and haha. wow look!

at some point during this fine hour mr jung hoseok has slung an arm around your waist and has his nose in your hair with his lips by your ear because its LoUd As FuCk iN hErE and you won’t be able to hear him

“i said do you want to step outside? its really hot in here” he asks and you have to physically stop yourself from snogging his face off because there’s no way he’s actually looking that good rn

you probably look awful and flustered and sweaty

“oh yes sure yeah ok yeah lets go we can go out to the patio or something”

and of COURSE your poor mother has no idea that the man around your waist is a professor at ur university so she sees you...actually with somebody and smiles really wide and turns away

at this point she’s just shocked that you’re with somebody because lately you’ve only been with flat 18 or nobody at all

you discover very quickly actually that hoseok is stroking his hand up and down the side of your body which okay, alexa, this is epic

“it’s nice and cool out here i thought i was gonna roast to death inside of there.”

hoseok, again with his cute laughter that has apparently become throaty and deep and you almost have to double check it’s still him because it majorly caught you off guard

“right? too many people, it always makes me feel really hot and claustrophobic.”

you hummed. “yeah, and it’s so sweaty and sticky like [cousins name] really couldn’t have opened up a few windows huh.”

he nods and watches you as you just keep talking and talking and talking

“and, let me tell you, this dress is so uncomfortable”

he looks you over. “you look gorgeous. the dress- i mean, the dress looks gorgeous”

“yeah it’s just a shame it’s so itchy and tight”

“mm? wanna go and change?”

“honestly i kind of just want to get out of it.”

you sort of share a look for a solid three seconds

and there’s like a really brief moment where you regret saying it

maybe he hadn’t meant anything by stroking your body and staring at you with a darkened look and holding you tightly when one of your FAMILY MEMBERS said hi to you and smiled and brushing his lips by your ear like maybe all of that was platonic? maybe he remembered you’re a student (although not hIS student) but still!!!!

you’re 0.5 seconds away from blurting out an almost sober apology when he mutters a, “fuck it,” under his breath that you barely even register and then he’s holding your face with his hands and bringing you in for a fat smooch

at first you’re just really surprised because even though you wanted this to happen you weren’t necessarily expecting it to happen

hoseok pulls away sort of dejected because “why aren’t you kissing me back :(” and thats all it takes because you’re pulling him in for round 2 of smooching and it’s almost like you’re not in the courtyard by the patio directly near the windows of the party and it’s not as if people can see you smooching professor jung haha no way! That would be insane!

“i” kiss “really” kiss “shouldn’t” kiss “be” kiss “doing” kiss “this” and he pulls away and then kisses you really really deeply “but” kiss “itsokjustpleasedonttellanybody”

for a moment you both like ruin the mood by assuring each other you won’t say anything and most people at that point would have been like, alright let’s call it a night haha this was fun and awkward

but :( he’s already hard and ur already really in the mood to bone the Daddy of biology so it would be a waste if you didn’t just….continue

hoseok very quickly discovers the perks of being head bridesmaid because your suite is gorgeous and big

“wtf i’m sharing a room with my uncle this really isn’t fair!”

“the many pros of being related to the bride! look i even have a mini fridge and it’s got loads of strawberry milk in because like its my favourite and they really treated me here and-”

not that he doesn’t want to hear you talk because he’d love to but omg he’s hard as heck and would rather get down to it instead of talking about the excessive amount of strawberry milk in ur fucking mini fridge the size of his BED

surprisingly even though you’ve wanted to at least hold professor jung- HoSeOk-’s hand for like an entire year, you haven’t put THAT much thought into having sex with him

well

actually like finger fucking does not count

nor does him between your legs

no they do not count to you in your mind especially when he quite literally helps you out of your dress and strips you to just your underwear

which, BTW, thank FUCK you brought your sexy stuff just in-case the groom had any really hot friends

thankfully he had jung hoseok

y/n: 1 life: 0

rewind like 0.3 seconds

so. hoseok apparently knows this venue like the back of his hand because he manages to direct you to your wing within like three minutes which is pretty impressive considering it took you thirty to find it this morning

regardless he’s really gentle considering he wants nothing more than to plow you into a nearby hard surface and like you know when someone ghosts their fingers over your skin and it tickles but it’s a nice tickle and your whole body shudders

yeah

well

professor jung does that a lot

he takes a liking to sitting on the end of the bed, between the two posts, while you’re firmly seated on his laps with your legs on either side of him, which is the long way of writing You Are Straddling Seunghee’s Biology Professor

“you’re so pretty” his voice is sort of muffled by your hair and skin and you can barely even focus on his voice because there’s so many things happening rn it’s hard to process it all

do you focus on his voice? his one hand on your back? his other hand literally on your arse? his crotch against yours? the little guttural groan he does between kisses?

it all just feels surreal and amazing and oh WOW jung hoseok has a hand between ur legs

he loops his fingers around your underwear and moans (shudders? you can’t tell but whatever he just did like you need him to do it again cause WEEEWWWW) and like lets them go suddenly

and we’re back to before; hoseok moves to dip underneath your jaw and helps you out of your tight and uncomfortable but expensi-

“did. di-did you just . rip my dress?”

“....i swear i didn’t do it on purpose.”

“omg this dress was on loan oh my GOD”

“im SORRY the zip got stuck and so i tugged i didn’t know the whole dress was gonna rip in half this material must be cheap, honey you got SCAMMED”

you realise that you’re not actually going to be the one to pay for it since the bride said she’d cover the prices of dresses and you instantly sort of relax (although, sorry to your cousin that she’s gonna have to pay extra now lol)

“okay it’s fine just” and he clings to you really tightly and affectionately with his chin rested just above your boobs which is honestly cute and actually really weirdly hot “ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ʳᶦᵖ ᵐʸ ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳʷᵉᵃʳ”

he has the nerve to giggle to himself “heeheehee okay baby i will be extra careful”

~~~

basically you make a mental note to tell guk and guk only that you rode professor jung to the stars and back

boi DEFINITELY put biology skills to use like this man must have aced human anatomy and sex ed because mans knows all the parts to look after and touch and kiss and it’s like he digitally downloaded every sex move possible because…..no way in hell u just snagged the best sexual partner in town

“mm fuck i wish i was a biology major” it just sort of comes out, bearing in mind you are like half sober

hoseok kind of laughs from his position and moves his hands to your thighs, “yeah?”

“yes i’m so jealous seunghee gets to see you all the time and i only get to see you when i pick her up”

“you can come and see me whenever, baby”

scoff “i’m an art student wouldn’t it be weird to turn up at a biology lab to see you?”

“i have an office yknow and it’s only open to super important people and i can make you one of them”

you realise shortly after like your second orgasm that hoseok is really good at making mediocre things sound really sexy

at long last you actually look down at him and just grin really widely and at first he’s like “yeah? you like that?” and then you start giggling really weirdly

“best.” down. up. “wedding.” down. up. “ever.”

you consider the possibility that last night was a big fat wet dream for at least four seconds until you open your eyes, see the window, roll over, and see professor motherfucking jung in bed next to you

he hasn’t opened his eyes yet and you think he’s asleep so you roll back over to grab your phone conveniently placed on the bedside table

as it turns out, mr jeon jeongguk has not listened to you and posted every nanosecond of the party last night, as well as leaving you several text messages, as he would, as your bff

from guk: are u having fun? i hope ur having fun. if not, then have fun

from guk: i guess ur dead lmao

from guk: sikegjsfkasljf i madmeout with both seujgehe and jikmin

from guk: ignore the above message

from guk: also good morning did you have fun did u get LAID was it a girl or a guy i need all the juicy details

you have to conceal a groan because you don’t want to wake up hoseok

you haven’t thought of something to say yet because worst case scenario, he could wake up and be like “wtf i slept with YOU??????” and that would not be chill for a sunday morning

to guk: im devastated bc of ur snapchat story that’s real snake behaviour

from guk: omg grow up

from guk: and answer my question horre

to guk: i will talk to you later because i am not talking to u about it over the phone bc knowing you and your monster thumbs and chaotic energy, you’ll screenshot and tell everyone in the flat and im not ready for them to know yet

there’s a few moments of silence

from guk: oh fuck tell me ur not pregnant im not ready to be an aunt or uncle yet (x)

you’re about to reply when

oh

wait

did you use a condom last night

you’ve been off the pill for a couple months because even though not getting periods or pregnant was pretty cool, your skin really suffered and oh hey look at that you’ve put on like 4 pounds overnight

and you can’t really remember if hoseok wore a condom or not

did he?

he must have

like he’s a biology teacher

surely

yeah

to guk: wtf no

to guk: and how would i even know that it hasnt even been 24 hours yet this isnt breaking dawn im not gonna show after like 12 minutes

from guk: you never know

“all i can hear is your nails tapping the screen and it’s literally amongst one of the most annoying sounds to wake up to”

oof

you drop your phone flat on your face

hoseok sort of both reaches to see if you’re okay whilst also laughing

“i’m sorry i didn’t know they were that loud”

he smiles and strokes the side of your face “mm it’s okay. woke up next to a pretty girl so it’s not so bad”

and it’s official he owns your heart

neither of you actually really address the fact that your whole...THING is really taboo until he’s like fishing around for his left sock and you’re moping over your ripped dress

“so like does this mean i can’t come to pick up seunghee anymore because it’ll be weird?”

he pauses. “why would it be weird?”

“idk cause like. idk. you’re a teacher?”

“really? fuck, i had no idea!!!”

“i’m being serious. i don’t wanna be the reason you LOSE your job!! and i’m so bad at keeping secrets what if i tell someone worse what if i tell my MOM”

he’s moved towards you as you were talking and he’s looking at you really closely with a really pretty look in his eyes

“y/n, i’m a teacher and i’m a professional. i can contain my...whatever, emotions, while i’m at work. and yes, please, come by and get seunghee because she’s one of my favourites and i don’t think i’ll see you often because you’re in visual arts and im always in my lab but my office! yes i have an office that you can always stop by when you’re bored and if i’m free i will happily see you :( it’s unfortunate that you happen to be a student but technically….like you’re old enough and it’s not that weird?”

pause

“okay it’s a little weird but if you want it can be just one night. we can ignore it happened.”

you really don’t want to ignore it

like you really don’t want to at all

hoseok easily was the best sex you’ve ever had and ugh he’s so nice and pretty and warm and caring and smart and yeah he made a joke about cells during sex but it was perfectly timed and funny and ugh he’s the perfect guy

but he’s also a professor at your university and above all else, you really don’t want him to lose his job that he worked his ass of for just because you couldn’t control yourself

so you sort of suck in a frown very poorly and you both agree to kind of...let it be pushed under the rug

it was a one time….two-time thing

because he definitely fucked you into the mattress one last time before you walked out the door and acted like teacher and student again

“you look...disgusting, give me all the gossip!”

you’ve barely been in flat 18 for five seconds and jeongguk is already at the door with a glass of water and a bag of what you can only pray is cookies

(nice attempt: it’s actually tiny meringues which is good enough)

as usual jeongguk cradles a hangover right into monday morning and thankfully for you, haseul and himself, arts lectures and classes don’t usually start until the afternoon on mondays

even though haseul is 77% sure she wont turn up because she’s way too comfy in her pjs on the couch in the living room

and honestly the pressure of telling jeongguk about what the hell happened on saturday night is intense because….haseul is there too now

which isn’t ideal to be very very honest

and haseul is literally your Girlfriend like she would be there to wipe your arse if you asked her nicely

but she can also be a little bit judgy and you’re feeling particularly sensitive today

but you also can’t not tell her because she’s one of your best friends and you’re probably definitely going to tell hee and jimin when they’re back so. might as well do it fast

you trust flat 18 with your entire heart and you know they’d never tell anybody

((this is not foreshadowing they are little angels))

“holy fuck you’re literally covered in hickeys, this story is gonna be so good, let me get a cup of tea before you start holy shit-” and so haseul makes three cups of tea and sits back down like ten minutes later

“okay im ready literally LAY it on me im ready”

deep breath

sip of tea

setting the cup down

“so i went to my cousins party. pretty normal right, not expecting much to go down at all like it’s a family wedding and there’s kids around”

“yeah, right, okay, AND”

“and so i’m minding my own business by the snack table and then somebody comes up to me and YOU’LL NEVER EVER GUESS WHO IT WAS”

they both sit there like “how am i supposed to know?”

deep breath

“i turn around and it’s only PROFESSOR JUNG”

pause

“wait wtf why was he at your cousins wedding?” haseul is so lost

“HE did say he was going to a wedding last week,” jeongguk adds. “that’s so weird omg he literally called it wow haha he’s so cool”

“right right, but like how is that the tea,” haseul frowns. “that’s like...cold stale tea. i wanted scorching hot tea. there’s GOT to be more to it”

you sit there awkwardly and wait for them to figure it out because haseul is looking at you really intently trying to figure it out

jeongguk is looking back and forth between you and haseul

he knows she’ll figure it out before him because out of the three of you, haseul has the brain cells

haseul literally just stares at your face until she kinda looks down at your neck

and remembers the hickies

and then looks back up at your face

and then back down

and them back up

...

“oh my fucking god you DIDN’T”

“wait what what what WHAT HAPPENED”

“oh my fuckING GOD. OMG. OH MY GOD??????/ NO, NO.”

jeongguk is like O_O “what omg tell me”

you’re holding your face in your hands rn

haseul is up off her seat and pointing a finger at you with her mouth so wide

she looks kinda like the pikachu meme

0o0

“Y/N SLEPT WITH PROFESSOR JUNG”

jeongguk laughs

“....wait WHAT THE FUCK”

chaos ensues

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SLEPT WITH PROFESSOR JUNG I LITERALLY CAN’T BREATHE”

“i didn’t say that!”

“what, so you DIDN’T sleep with professor jung?”

“...okay so maybe i did but you can’t tell ANYONE PLEASE”

jeongguk is literally laughing his ass off rn

because he’s your best friend and honestly that’s what best friends would do in this situation

haseul on the other hand is the responsible friend who’s thinking of the bigger picture

“holy shit, okay. um. wtf he could get sacked for this!”

“we talked it out and we promised to not tell anyone, and it’s not like we’re gonna hook up again so it’s fine!!!! which is why you both cant say anything PLS”

haseul moves to sit by you really comfortingly, “omg baby no i would never!!! it’s not my secret to tell and YES, i’m very surprised right now and i don’t really know what to do because what SHOULD i do??? this has never happened to me before omg this is insane. this is fuckING INSANE”

you end up having to explain the entire night in detail (missing a few details because let’s be real, you were hammered and dick drunk)

jeongguk has calmed down and now realises that this is sort of serious

mostly he’s just finding it funny that you actually ended up hooking up with professor jung, because you and him used to joke around about it all the time

even though he was initially quite childish about it, jeongguk knows that it’s serious and something that is clearly bothering you so he knows when to pack it in and be the supportive friend

because gukkie is a good friend and oh no we’re dropping all the uwus everywhere

“was it good?”

yes, haseul it was good

“was it SAFE?”

you’re about to answer jeongguk and then you pause

“....i don’t know”

and haseul’s off again

“holy mother of hell what do you MEAN you don’t know???”

“i can’t remember!!”

“and you didn’t ask the morning after???”

“im sorry he was too busy rearranging my GUTS it must have,,,crossed my mind”

now haseul has another thing to worry about on top of midterms

to flat 18: IAHUIIGJKSFDLIHGDJKSF Y/N SLEPT WITH PROFESSOR JUNG

from y/n: JEONGGUK WHAT THE FUCK

from y/n: WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM OVER TEXT I WANTED TO TELL THEM IN PERSON

from guk: IM SORRY I THOGGHT WE WERE TELIJG THEM

from y/n: jesus christ

from jimin: um

from jimin: WHAT

from jimin: PLEATHE tell me its hot biology professor jung and not ugly middle aged literature professor jung because else my reaction is gonna be vERY different

from y/n: wtf why would i want to sleep with literature jung he’s like 50 and married

from guk: wait omg what if hot prof jung is married….did you ask

from y/n: let me move my bang and read that again,,,,

from jimin: i literally cant breathe MY LUNGSSSSS

from jimin: WHAT KINDA FANFICTION IS THIS RN how and when and why did u sleep with him i have SO MANY QUESTIONS i should be studying for my physics midterm rn but whatyueijgn this is too good

from y/n: this is why i wanted to tell u in person

from seunghee: WHATHGRJENS SJF WHAT THE FUCK

from seunghee: I JUST FUCKING SCREAMED IN MY BIOLOGY LECTURE AND HAD TO LEAVE

from seunghee: TELL ME UR JOKING RN

from y/n: :D heehee. um. haha. well haha. uh

from seunghee: I CANT LOOK AT PROF JUNG THE SAME WAY ANYMORE

from seunghee: omg….u had his PEEPEE inside of u….holy shit i need to sit down rn

from haseul: mood

from guk: she did THAT :’)

from seunghee: i mean…..when we joked around and said you should hop on professor jung’s dick i didnt think you’d DO IT FOR REAL

from y/n: it was the dr pepper u guys…..he made me do it

from seunghee: oh god professor jung came out to see if i was okay and i screamed i cant look at him i cant

from seunghee: omg he was in ur GUTS i cant im dropping biology

you dont immediately see professor jung

in fact you try and avoid him because even though you both agreed to not hook up again you’re afraid that the demon inside you will try and jump him and knowing you, a professor will probably end up catching you

and you like uni you dont wanna leave

and you like hoseok you don’t want him to leave and lose his job

flat 18 have calmed down from the initial shock and humour of the situation

i mean they’re all still in disbelief that it happened

and jeongguk and jimin make jokes about it sometimes

but it’s calmed down

it’s actually like a full week before you see him

because all of flat 18 for some reason offered to help on the open day for uni, party night saturday had to be cancelled >:(

seunghee shudders at the thought of being one of the only biology volunteers and having to pretend like she doesn’t know that her professor was balls deep inside her best friend last weekend

jimin and seunghee are together in the science department and haseul is happy performing for families checking out the performance department

jeongguk was asked to help promote the art department

and you were forced into giving campus tours :(

which sucks

because you have to try and pump out your best energy for the day

due to the amount of students doing tours on the same day, you’re only really expected to give one tour before going to your selected department

and you wouldn’t actually mind giving tours if it didn’t mean that you had to go everywhere on campus and by everywhere you mean having to go to the science department and inevitably seeing the brief love of your life

“..and right here is the art department! as an art student i sure have a lot to say about it- everyone is super duper nice and all-well, MOST of the professors are really helpful and critical and i’ve really improved drawing since i’ve been here. we do a lot of still life in this room but next door is the main drawing room and just off campus, we have the drawing labs!!! and oh, downstairs is the photography department; we have a red room and three studios and next door is the cinema”

“do you get to watch films?”

“technically no but when nobody is looking we do watch a film heeheehee i mean. what? no we would never break the rules..,,.”

you give jeongguk a cheeky bum shake before you leave and he laughs

yes an old man sees and scowls but it’s ok

“so yea like i said, the staff are friendly and mostly helpful. i mean, there are obviously some professors who aren’t amazing but hey we have a higher rating than other unis in this area so haha”

“mostly helpful?” a mom says. “can you elaborate on that?”

“not really, karen.”

after hurling your group around everywhere, you FINALLY make it to the science department

which you came to last because you were not prepared to see You Know Who

anyway

you step inside and start listing off things in the department

like Oh yes jackie look that’s called a bunsen burner

Oh michael sweetie don’t touch the gas taps we don’t wanna die now do we?

“our uni has some of the best science professors,” you explain. “they’re incredible and so dedicated to their profession and it’s really a great environment- two of my flatmates study science and they love their classes and lectures. professor min teaches physics and my friend jimin says he teaches it like no other- he’s amazing!”

“and what about professor jung?”

what

“ᵉˣᶜᵘˢᵉ ᵐᵉ?”

“what do you think of professor jung, hm?” WHY IS THE HM SOUNDING A LITTLE CONFRONTATIONAL

you stare at this mom like OoO because this is weird there’s no way she kNOWS how does this mom know omg did you say something dumb how does she--

“i heard he wrote books and went on tv! he also attended conferences at oxford uni,” the mom says, almost annoyed and your heart goes WOOOOOSH out your body. “my son wants to study biology and so we’re excited to see and hear about professor jung.”

“oH yes RIGHT well he’s...well he’s great.”

“can you elaborate-”

“no susan i can’t. let’s just go and meet him, yeah?”

inside the science rooms open for showing, you’re oddly relieved to see another tour group just finishing up meaning that half of the professors are preoccupied already

that includes hoseok in his cute ass lab coat talking to a group of students and parents

suddenly that female student is standing very close to him and you have to look away before you get annoyed for literally no reason

y/n: 1 life: 1

seunghee is actually free talking to jimin and professor min (jimins weirdly hot professor) sees you standing awkwardly in the doorway and he comes to the rescue with a small smile and nods his head at you

wow jimin never told you how pretty he was

scary as fuck

but pretty

“hi! welcome to the science department…”

you kind of step to the side because science is not your subject this is not your element and you dont wanna mess up

while seunghee is so happy showing off her booth and YES the volcano made an appearance, jimin is content with not doing his job and coming to stand with you

“is it just me or is prof jung looking delicious today?” jimin sort of nudges you in the side and you have to give him a sickeningly sweet smile that translates to You’re Getting Your Ass BEAT Later

“...and we do all sorts of projects to help us constantly develop our skills!!! and it’s actually a really good way at making friends and bonds-” a few parents laugh “-and actually, two of my flatmates are here over there--”

oh great eyes are on you and jimin :)

jimin smiles like :) hell yes :) thats me :)

and you’re flushing as fuck because 1) you don’t really do well with being the center of attention like having to speak and tour people around campus is BAD ENOUGh and 2) hoseok has just been made aware of your presence

you’re trying not to look at him like :) i’m not here :)

“-they helped me make this volcano!!!! and it’s so cute!!! look- it shoots rocks- oh, careful sweetie- look!!! it’s so cool y/n helped me a lot and i got a good grade and we do loads of this sort of stuff, haha, prof jung really works us to the bone but makes it super fun at the same time!!!”

braving a chance to look at him you clam up noticing that he’s already looking at you

he does that THING where he smiles and his eyes look really soft and warm and he ducks his head to look at the other parents and stuff

jimin contains a snort and seunghee is like o_o because she had to witness that LOOK as if she wasn’t trying hard enough to forget about what happened

professor min looks between you and hoseok like “-_-” and you wanna DIE

ALRIGHT MICHAEL PUT ON THE GAS TAPS BACK ON LET’S FUCKING DIE TONIGHT

hoseok manages to talk to you before you leave though which is smooth and you can feel your heart in your vagina literally pulsing as he approaches you and jimin

“having fun?”

you smile like :) how is giving tours :) fun :)

“i guess so!!”

“hey thats good!” he replies enthusiastically. “looks like people like the volcano you helped make.”

“....i didn’t make that. seunghee lied i did not help her on her graded project We did not help I don’t know why she would say that”

and he kind of laughs and forgets where he is and his hand touches your back

jimin chokes

you sort of look at him like OoO BRO

he pulls away so FAST like you’re on fire or something

“it’s okay. it’s a pretty volcano.” clears throat. “a-anyways. have a nice day guys.”

he looks like he wants to say something more but cant really afford to, so he sulks away and talks to more parents

“omg….he just had sex with you again” jimin said quietly. “omg. that was wild”

“he literally touched me what are you TALKING ABOUT”

“can’t believe you just did that….right in front of me….”

“literally SHUT UP RIGHT NOW OMG”

again you don’t see prof jung often

you see him a couple of times when you wait for seunghee

its been a hot minute, like a few weeks

he doesn’t speak much but when he does it’s like “oh hi y/n! waiting for seunghee?” or “you can come in for a bit while seunghee packs up” or “plans for the weekend?”

once you dumbly said “i miss you” before you left and both prof jung and seunghee are like “oh hoe you didnt”

“huh?” he asks.

“I said i’ll see you,” you say. “like...i don’t know. see you soon? i guess”

he knows what you really said

he raises his brow’s and laughs and’s like, “me too, y/n. i’ll see you both soon. enjoy your weekend!”

“you’re literally so dumb,” seunghee says whilst walking back to the dorm, “like really so fucking dumb. i MISS YOU??? REALLY? THAT’S ALL YOU SAID??? I’M LIVING OFF CRUMBS HERE”

“wtf do you MEAN???”

“yknow he always asks me, “how are your friends? y/n, the others?” like why would he ask about you...unless he missed you too….and wanted to see you…..omg you’re both really so dumb”

you think about that for a while

back at flat 18, everybody is out of classes for the weekend; jimin is finishing up an essay so he won’t have to do it last minute monday morning, haseul is watching vines on her phone and guk is currently eating the peaches that you were craving and wanted to eat so bought and stored away for later

later as in now

he offers you one but afterwards you feel like…?? weirdly nauseous

“do you need some water?” guk is on alert rn “i swear i didn’t poison you or anything!!!!!”

“i...literally didn’t even think you had but now that you’ve brought it up…”

like this sickness is so sudden you just wanna throw up all your internal organs

“you should go to bed,” haseul says and she’s like rushing to you to push you towards your room. “i will get a hot water bottle ready and blankets and oh- actually no, you can’t risk eating in-case it makes you feel worse. at least try and eat like these bland ass biscuits seunghee brought because then you’ll throw up something instead of nothing. are you okay, did i ask if you were okay? are you?”

the best thing about flat 18 is that they’re like a little tight family and if one of you is sick, they become worried parents and it’s so cute

anyway so you stay in bed for the rest of the day

and most of saturday morning

flat 18 are debating whether or not to really go out on saturday but you groggily tell them to just go and have fun and you’ll stay at home :( crying :( watching peaky blinders on netflix :(

haseul and seunghee decide to stay in with you for a girls night while jeongguk and jimin head to their friend taehyung’s dorm

at some point during a very intense sex scene between tommy shelby and some random woman you don’t care about currently, you feel a very intense wave of sickness

OFF TO THE BATHROOM YOU GO!!

as you’re throwing up you’re thinking over every possible reason for being sick

food poisoning?

flu?

and then you pause mid heave

could…..could you be pregnant?

omg no

wait omg yes you totally could be

you panic so much that you throw up again

seunghee and haseul are right outside the door asking if you need anything and haseul comes in to hold your hair and seunghee is rubbing your thigh like “honey please what do you need?”

sheepishly you look at her and squeak out, “i don’t think im sick.”

seunghee’s like “well obviously you are you’re throwing up like crazy right now, oh, yeah, okay baby yeah let it out let it all out” 

makes mental note to buy air-freshener

after throwing up you just hAVE to ask

“hee...i need you to go out and get me something”

“sure honey, anything. what do you need?”

“......i need you to get me a pregnancy test.”

haseul and seunghee share a look

“are you serious?” seunghee’s voice is really gentle and quiet

“yes i need to be sure,” your voice is croaky and you keep crying in between each word and seunghee just squeezes your thigh assuringly and nods

“y-yeah, of course, wow, oh my god, okay. i’ll go and get one- no, wait, haseul should i get three? is three the safe number?”

“yeah. three is safe. like, you do an experiment three times to get a fair result and the test could read wrong”

“please stop talking about science im actually really scared right now”

seunghee is already half out the flat with her keys when she says, “do you want me to call guk and jimin?”

and you debate it but knowing guk he’d have a meltdown and tell taehyung what’s going on and it’s supposed to be a private sort of thing

and what gives you might not Actually be pregnant

“have you missed your period?” haseul asks

“yeah but i thought” sniff “it was just late :( my periods are always irregular but if i did the math” hiccup “right then it should have come four days ago :(”

seunghee comes back with three pregnancy tests

(“the cashier said, ‘oh, good luck dear! you look like you’ll be a wonderful mother!’ like HONEY IM NOT LOOKING FOR KIDS I’M TOO YOUNG” “s-seunghee-eeEEEeee im also too young what am i gonna doOOooOoooo i cant do this”)

they both promise to be in there with you while you find out because you’re literally sobbing and shaking and lets be real, they’ve showered with you like ten times and they’ve seen all your bits and pieces and it’s just pee! everybody pees

you’re sitting down in a ball shape by the bathtub like TERRIFIED of looking at the little stick

“is it...professor jung’s?” seunghee asks quietly

“he’s the only person i’ve slept with in like three years, i’m positive it’s his,” you reply. “if im even pregnant, that is…”

haseul rubs your arm lovingly. “want to take a look? should be done by now.”

it takes you a few minutes and then eventually you nod

well

here goes nothing!!!!!

you peer over at the stick and like

your heart drops

maybe you wanna throw up again

all three sticks say: PREGNANT: 5 WEEKS

“what’s it say?” haseul asks gently and you set down one of the tests and look back at seunghee and haseul with an unreadable expression

“congrats. you’re gonna be an auntie.”

haseul is the first to crack

it felt weird to have friends excited?? about your second year of uni pregnancy? unplanned accidental pregnancy with a bIOLOGY PROFESSOR AT UR UNI????

but haseul brings you in for a hug with an excited laugh and seunghee braves taking a stick in her hand and looks at it for herself

yep, you’re having a baby all right!!!

everything is fine until you realise the big problem

how the hell are you going to tell hoseok you’re carrying his baby

does he want kids? probs not! and you never asked if he was married?? WHAT IF HE ALREADY HAS KIDS? WHAT IF HE HAS A WHOLE FAMILY??????

then you start crying

“omg, y/n, please don’t cry, it’s okay, we’re going to figure something out!”

“you don’t necessarily have to keep it if you dont want to,” haseul points out, even though you know she’s already planning dates to look after baby y/n when it’s been pushed out into the world

“h-how am i gonna tell h-hoseok that im having his baby….and i dont wanna get r-rid of it i dont wanna hurt this baby i love this baby i only just f-found out about it but i want this baby i wanna look after this baby this is my BABY?? im having a baby holy fuck you guys! im gonna be a mom this is so scary what the fuck am i gonna do????”

seunghee makes a call to jeongguk and jimin asking them to come back with ice-cream because they have things to talk about

jeongguk is worried like “oh god did i leave my underwear on the couch again? i said i was sorry and i thought id moved them this time”

and seunghee says, “um...no but now im going to double check the couch...dont forget the ice-cream BYEEEE”

needless to say that they’ve very VERY surprised to come home and discover that they’re gonna be uncles

and that the baby belongs to the Daddy of Biology

“i………..what did i miss while i was gone wtf you’re PREGNANT?”

“omg i’m gonna be an uncle??????? really?????? reAlly!!!”

of course the big issue right now is telling hoseok about it

like what are you supposed to do? go up to him and be like Hey hot stuff you’re gonna be a dad!! Happy Monday!!

“if he doesn’t want to help look after it, i would be happy being the adoptive dad of your baby,” jimin offers, staring at your stomach for the fifth straight hour. “because i love you and i also like babies.”

“aw, min, i love you too, but if hoseok doesn’t want to be the dad to this baby, i was already planning to ask guk because GOD KNOWS you would be the worst at looking after kids- dont look at me like that, i know you i CAN SEE THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE!”

you decide to skip classes on monday and only head out when you need to

and by “need to” i mean you decided that today would be the day you told hoseok

you had the whole of sunday to think over it and seunghee helped you devise a plan

hoseok has office hours from around 3pm to 9pm on mondays and her class finishes at 2:45pm, and apparently people use his monday office hours on the evening so “you should probably come then, and you and him can talk in his office where it’s more private!”

and thank god seunghee has the brain cells in this friendship because you were about to announce it in the open and you doubt that mr min would be thrilled to hear his colleague knocked up a visual arts second year student

it’s 2:30pm and you leave the flat to make it to campus for around 2:37pm

it doesn’t take long at all to walk across campus to the science department and so you’re a little bit early to seunghee’s class because they’re still clearing up by the time you get there

the science department has chosen to smell like a hospital even more today and you shudder, already mulling over the idea that you could be going to a hospital soon to get baby scans and then eventually labour and holy fucking SHIT you’re gonna have to push this thing out of your vagi-

the class leaves at 2:45 on the dot (because hoseok likes to let his kids out early because he’s a cool teacher and apparently nothing like the grouchy art teachers in your department) and actually, today seunghee hasn’t turned up to class so you’re sort of waiting for nobody rn

just >:) as >:) planned

when everybody else has gone you head inside really quietly

hoseok hears you anyway and looks over really quickly and smiles so wide like :D

“y/n! how are you!”

“haha yeah im just great professor like really Uh yeah doing great”

“seunghee’s actually not here today. i thought you guys lived together, didn’t you know that?”

and you’re like like “uh yeah i knew. i’m, well, i’m actually not here for her. i’m here for you.”

hoseok is vERY VERY CONFUSED

“is everything ok?”

you smile at him as a way of reassuring him

on the inside you’re like oh hoseok sweetie you have no idea what’s coming

“yeah. i asked seunghee what time your office hours were and she said from around 3 to 9? and obviously, its like five to three and so i am early but. look i just- i really need to speak with you.”

he stands up quickly. “is something wrong?”

“i’m not sure yet,” you reply honestly. “shall we. um. can we go to your office?”

he blinks. “oh! yeah, sure, let me get- my coat and yeah let’s go. i’ll lead the way.”

along the way you just so happen to bump into professor min and he smiles at hoseok and then at you and he’s like “oh? miss l/n, what are you doing here? i didn’t know you took science?” (he only knows who you are because of the open day)

“Oh, no i don’t. um. well,” you pause. cause what are you supposed to say???? “i’m just getting some work for seunghee. she’s...sick and bedridden, so, here i am!”

professor min is just like “huh. okay well have fun i’m going to take a nap in my office :D” and leaves

hoseok’s office is surprisingly clean and cute and there’s flowers everywhere and a cute little yellow rug and you stop to just take in how this room is hoseok in Room Form

like a room has never looked so much like a person it’s him as a room and you love it

“i didn’t really clean up because i didn’t expect anybody- especially you- to be coming. uh, here, let me just close the door. want to sit?”

you take up the offer and sit on the couch opposite his desk and he sits on the desk looking at you really worriedly. “is...everything okay?”

he wants to ask if somebody found out, but at the same time, he really doesn’t want to make you think that he was like repulsed by having sex with you because it was The best sex of his life and he’s not afraid to admit that

“yes. i just” sigh. might as well get on with it. “how long has it been since the wedding?”

hoseok pauses. thinks. “well...i mean, like, probably six weeks? yeah, six weeks. why?”

“okay, and usually, what does it mean when a woman misses her period?”

“wha- well, sometimes it could be an irregular cycle. but it’s usually because they’re conceiving...”

hoseok really doesn’t wanna overthink but...like….he’s overthinking rn

“and how long does it take for them to start showing?”

“well someone can know that they’re pregnant as early as four weeks, usually. although 50% of women say they show at five, and 70% said they show symptoms at six weeks-”

there’s a beat of silence

you worriedly look at hoseok and he’s just. quiet

you can see the clogs moving in his head and his eyes are flitting up from your stomach to your face repeatedly and wow he’s gone a bit pale?

“i...what?”

“i’m...i’m pregnant.”

“i…” he starts to speak but literally stops and he’s just really quiet

you can feel your eyes filling up because oh god he doesn’t want the baby you’ve ruined his LIFE

but really he’s just thinking really hard rn

like

omg

a beautiful girl he likes is carrying HIS BABY

A BABY HE HELPED MAKE

and then he’s like but shes a student at my uni is this weird? its weird its wrong but i love babies and ‘im gonna be a dad????? and she’s really pretty????? and i like her?????? and that’s my kid??????????

you’re seriously about to cry and be like its ok if you don’t want it i can look after it alone and my flat are okay with it i just would want some help like maybe a little bit just for the first few months when he moves from the desk towards you and drops to his knees between your legs

“is- is it mine?”

“what- of course it’s yours!”

“i’m sorry! i didn’t want to assume!!!”

“i wouldnt be here if it wasn’t yours!”

he huffs out a laugh and then just starts smiling so wide

“omg are you actually pregnant? really?”

and then you start laughing like “YES omg why would i lie here’s a test for proof i was crying a lot over the weekend.”

now that he has concrete evidence hoseok is getting a bit excited about this

above all circumstances he is gonna be a dad and wow he’s always wanted a family!!

you’re so relieved that he’s happy :)

but then he has to think realistically about this: you’re still a student, probably barely twenty one, and he’s a professor and things will be extremely complicated

he debates whether or not to tell professor min

because yoongi has been his friend forever and he actually helped him get the job at this uni and he probably wouldn’t judge him for it because he had seemed excited when hoseok told him about the wedding night (obviously spared of the details that the best Pussy of his life was miss y/n l/n)

“do...do you want to keep it?”

you look at him like OnO “yes :( is that okay”

“YES omg it’s okay!!! that’s our BABY!!!”

ok he’s so excited

“this is so weird and i never ever thought this would happen but!!!!!! i’m gonna be a dad???”

“yes!!!”

then

“wait fuck are you married or anything?” you have to ask it’s been bugging you all weekend. “because i’m happy with raising a baby with you but i don’t think i can handle telling ur wife or whatever that we had sex at a wedding.”

he finds this really funny

“no, i’m not married. i was drunk at the wedding but not drunk enough to cheat on someone :( i would never do that :(”

well. 

THAT COVERS IT THEN

now he has to make plans to like. get to know you because there’s no way in hell his baby is gonna grow up with complicated parents like he wants his kid to have the best life ever :(

hoseok now also has to come to terms with the fact that seunghee knows he had sex with her best friend and is having a baby with her and now he’s horrified

“you did wHAT”

hoseok decided against his better judgement to tell yoongi about what’s going on

since you told your entire flat about it he figured it was only fair that he could also tell somebody he trusted

he has a couple of friends outside the department who he really trusts, like namjoon and seokjin, two married professors who teach literature and creative writing, and sociology, respectively, who will eventually find out, whenever he’s figured out what he’s going to do

considering everything, yoongi isn’t that put off by the fact that he knocked up a student

i mean, yes he’s shocked that it was you of all students ever and then he pieces together you going into his office and the way he had literally described you as “artistic and fascinating” and fucking hell he should have realised sooner

“i...kind of got her pregnant. which- before you yell at me, isn’t the end of the world because we’re both willing to give it 110%!”

“yeah i dont give a fuck about that- i’m still on about the fact that you came back here after that wedding and told me all the raunchy details about you and y/n and i called it hOT and now i find out its a student i KNOW?????? oh my god i need to lie down again.”

(he takes it well, and congratulates him)

meanwhile you’re already making plans to tell your family about it but you want to do it after the first scan

seunghee has done so much research on pregnancy that she was worried the school would catch on by reading the wifi bill and seeing that all she ever googles is “how big is a baby at six weeks?” or “when should i go for a baby scan?”

she seems to think that twelve to fourteen weeks is a good time to get the baby scan and that you’ll probably start showing by then which is the PERF time to tell everybody about it

at the moment you’re not too worried about telling your family

your mom is pretty understanding and your dad has been out of the picture for a while now, and you’re the baby sibling so at least she still has an older daughter to brag about

because from now on it’s gonna be “yeah this is my eldest she’s a LAWYER and this is my youngest haha she fucked her biology professor”

not that she’d use those words

you’re actually more afraid of what people at uni are gonna think when you start showing because you’re not really up for missing out a whole 9 months just to be a year behind your friends

and morning sickness was so awful this morning that you just couldn’t be bothered to go in for class today

thankfully it was just a free sort of day where kids either did the art marathon or worked for their midterms so you could sort of afford to miss a day

guk went to class for an hour before coming back to the flat and haseul didn’t have classes that day so once again, art attack squad just had a nice day at home

haseul is most concerned about the baby and the baby’s health and so went through a crazy moment of trying to eliminate foods that are bad for you during pregnancy

“where’s all my chocolate gone?” “well i moved it so that you can limit yourself on what you eat! chocolate isn’t great for your skin and you should probably start eating healthy if you want the little honey to be nice and healthy when they arrive!”

haseul has money on it being a little girl

guk and seunghee want it to be a boy and jimin is the type of person to have no opinion until the baby is born and then proceeds to say, “see! i told you it would be a boy/girl!”

since you last saw hoseok, he hasn’t really decided what he’d like them to come out as yet; yoongi wants it to be a girl, though

seunghee actually went to class and ended up waiting behind afterwards to give him all the updates

“is she doing okay?” “yES she’s amazing and the baby is doing so well too!!! i mean it’s only been about seven weeks and so y/n is like barely showing, but he’s about the size of a blueberry! isn’t that cute?”

then she pauses and is like, “wait...we live off campus so like. do you want to maybe come round? and see her? i think she’d appreciate seeing you.”

“ᶜᵃⁿ ᶦ?” hoseok is really excited because yeah he does like you and he’d see you whenever he could but 1) he didn’t know how to contact you and 2) where do you even live because if its on campus he definitely can’t pop round and be like “wassup where’s my baby mama”

anyway he comes round with her and you’re very unprepared to see hoseok and seunghee step through the front door

jeongguk is like midway through kissing your tummy over and over and haseul is on amazon looking at baby clothes because she “has to be ready for any opportunity”

of course anything can happen and she’s praying that nothing bad happens because she just found the cutest bear onesie ever and OOPS its in her cart

“it’s,” gesturing to guk and his lips on your stomach, eyes wide, “not what it looks like!”

but hoseok just laughs and puts down his bag and is like, “hehe i know. how are you!”

guk clears out to another part of the couch and decides that he has to, before he dies, see a y/n and hoseok interaction and he can hardly contain his excitement when hoseok sits down next to you and looks at you with a fond ass expression

“good! i had a little bit of morning sickness, but i’m okay. how are you?”

and hoseok’s like well i’m not currently carrying a baby im fine of course i’m fine i want to know about you

because it came to his attention when he was with yoongi earlier that he really doesn’t know anything about you PERIODT

and he wants to know everything and anything

at that point guk takes his leave and he, haseul and seunghee go to the kitchen to give you and hoseok some of your own private space

“i cant believe professor jung is in my living room right now...”

“I WALKED ACROSS CAMPUS WITH HIM GUK I WAS FREAKING OUT THE ENTIRE TIME!!!”

meanwhile you and hoseok are taking the moment to get to know each other

because in about 9 months time or whatever you’re gonna be parents

so you gotta know everything

hoseok learns a lot of things about you: your love for chocolate, that strawberry milk is your favourite flavour, your favourite colours are natural colours like white and beige and browns, your favourite movie or your favourite song…….

and you learn quite a few things about him in return: growing up he always loved science, he wanted to go into dance during high school but it clashed with science club so he gave it up, his favourite flavour milk is banana and his favourite colour is yellow…...

“mm i knew the yellow already :)”

“oh yeah?” hoseok has an arm around your shoulders, one hand stroking the side of your face and the other brushing against your stomach. “how?”

“the rug in your office. and the fact you like banana milk,” you laugh.

“what? the banana milk has nothing to do with it.”

“it does, don’t lie.”

“okay, but it’s not the main reason!!!”

once again it begins to feel like you’ve known hoseok for years and wow it’s so easy to talk to him and he’s so gentle and nice You’re ready to donate your whole heart to him on the spot

“so i was thinking actually,” you propose suddenly, and at this point the gang have come out of the kitchen and are gathered in the living room (jeongguk said that he’s technically in-laws with hoseok now and so there’s no point avoiding it) “that we should go out together this weekend.”

hoseok grins: “are you asking me out on a date right now?”

“yes,” you nod with a firm look. “yes, i am. i am taking authoritative because you’re slow and i want to go on a date with you. i wanna get to know you and work on this.”

hoseok agrees and presses a warm kiss to your temple. “mm, okay then, honey. it’s a date.”

(jimin gets home late and kicks off his shoes by the door. “GUYS!!! YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHO LOOKED MIGHTY FINE THIS MORNING!! If you guessed Professor Min, then you were RIGHT!! At this rate, Y/N won’t be the only person knocked up by a science professor cause I’m telling you, I’m ready for Professor Min to tell me the exact speed of light whilst balls deep in my a- OH. Uh. Hi, Professor Jung. Nice day?”)

((nobody knows how to move on from that.))

it’s been exactly 9 weeks since your little honey has been conceived :D

hoseok comes to visit more frequently and he now has your number and emergency contact details so whenever he can, he’s asking how you and the baby are and stuff

he texts asking about your day a lot

mostly about the baby though

from hoseok: what are naming it ^_^

to hoseok: hmm i believe we haven’t gone over the names yet :)

from hoseok: i meant like a nickname!!

from hoseok: yoongi has been calling them “squid” because when we became friends we bonded over someone calling a sperm cell a squid cell and i guess it kind of stuck

to hoseok: omg i dont wanna call them squid then :-(

from hoseok: hmm how about simply ‘baby’?

but i want u to call me baby…

from hoseok: but i wanna call YOU baby and it might get confusing...little one? little guy?

to hoseok: haseul thinks its a girl teeheehee

from hoseok: so i’ve been told

from hoseok: okay, how about honey? i know i call you honey sometimes but honey can be exclusively our baby name

to hoseok: hmm

to hoseok: honey is cute :3

from hoseok: haha okay baby, honey it is then!

you’re waiting until week 14 for an ultrasound

seunghee did more research and said 14 is a lucky number and so it just seemed right

and also most women go around 14 weeks and later because by then the gender will be revealed and that’s exciting!!

THANKFULLY you weren’t planning to visit family for christmas because they’re abroad visiting family and so at least you can surprise them when they’re back with a baby scan and hoseok :D

“did you also know that the baby is now the size of a cherry?” guk said suddenly one evening, as he lay next to you in his bed, by the way, WHY you were in his bed when he woke up he has no idea. “that’s so cute. little cherry all snug in there, huh.”

you find that jeongguk is now...abnormally nice

like you loved that you and jeongguk could be brutal to each other and still be fine in the next three minutes

but ever since you found out you were pregnant, he’s been toning it down a lot

truthfully he doesn’t want to overdo it and add any stress on you during the pregnancy, and he just wants to be supportive and be ‘the best uncle in the business’, to which jimin competes

haseul and seunghee are the ideal best friends in this situation: haseul is so ready to be an aunt it’s crazy and she already has an amazon cart full of cute things and seunghee already claimed dibs on helping you and hoseok set up a nursery for the baby

it’s still being decided but there’s a big chance you and hoseok will move in together to raise baby honey together

the house you were eyeing is relatively close to campus and to flat 18, which they’re planning to rent out for the next two years of uni after this one

so it’s close to honey’s aunts and uncles and also close for hoseok to get to work and for you to get to classes

jimin is the friend who still doesn’t really know what to do in this situation

he replaced jeongguk as the annoying younger brother type, even though he’s a few months older than both you and jeongguk, he’s such a brat lmao

10 weeks

“i’m convinced that my boobs have got bigger- haven’t they gotten bigger?”

so it is one of those days where hoseok is free to come and visit you at the Holy flat 18

it’s become his second home because he comes by so often

seunghee isn’t so weirded out by her professor being basically one of her friends, and in-fact she tries to abuse this by trying to get him to give her “in-law special treatment”

(“i gave you special treatment on your ugly volcano!” “OI the mother of your child helped make that volcano!!!”)

he really doesn’t give any bias tho he basically passes everybody

“i mean,” hoseok begins, and you move between his legs for him to get a good angle. considering you two haven’t been ‘together’ long, you’re incredibly comfortable around him. “yeah, actually. wow, they have!”

“rIGHT? none of my bras fit me anymore. oh god, i’m gonna have to start buying granny bras- do you think they’ll get that big?”

“it’s possible. all women increase in size during pregnancy. actually, some can lose weight instead of putting it on.”

“not me.”

“no, but you look healthy and gorgeous and i like it.”

you giggle- the same giggle he remembers you doing on the Big Night- and shuffle into some bigger trousers that you and haseul went to buy a few days ago

clothes just aren’t fitting anymore and so while you’re upgrading to trendy maternity-style clothes haseul and seunghee are super excited to go to town with outfits they can make from your wardrobe

“well, good! because you’re stuck with me for the next….like, nine months.”

“technically, it’s seven months now.”

you glare

“but i’m gonna still be here after those seven months!!!”

“good!!! you better be,” you shuffle over to sit next to him with your legs around him- one behind and one over his lap and he smiles down at you, “because i’m growing fond of you.”

“well that’s convenient, because i’m rather fond of you, too.”

outside the door, jimin starts laughing “wtf it’s 2018 who says fond anymore?”

12 weeks :)

this morning you realise

wow

i’m actually pregnant pregnant

you’re starting to show now and honestly...looking at it, you realise how creepy baby bumps are

“oh my GOD, seunghee come look at it now it’s gotten really big!”

it’s not even that big

but it’s bigger

seunghee is so excited about this fact

the flat have been taking pictures of the bump every week and printing it so they can keep a timeline for when honey is born

jeongguk and seunghee are still dead set on honey being a little baby boy but haseul is trying to convince them otherwise

“we’re calling her honey for now, right? so, what i have planned, is, we buy her a bee onesie. representing both bees AND the bee movie. worlds best dressed baby.”

you started to develop a fear of going to class because you’re unsure on how people will take the news that you’re pregnant

you’re not that much of a popular person but everybody in the class knows you well enough to know that you’re not the type to sleep around

so it would be a valid shock to hear that you’re pregnant

but you have to go because you can’t afford to miss anymore classes

and you also have to….break the news to your professors because at some point you’re going to have to have a lot of time off to pop out a human being

“he’s the size of a plum by now, isn’t he?”

jeongguk is particularly excited about honey this morning and he has literally not shut up about them since you got into class

“yes, THEY are about the size of a plum- did seunghee tell you that?”

“omg no im a good best friend and i did all my research!! it’s so cute that they compare honey to fruits online- next week he’s gonna be as big as a lemon!”

class is….just your luck, pretty busy today

most students are in the drawing rooms and a few are drawing a still life model

jeongguk gets right to work finishing his final project while you head to the office to speak to your professor, who is really lazy and sits in his office all day and doesn’t even supervise

professor choi, the lovely lady who ends up running all classes, is the dearest angel and you’re ready to chat to her next

professor bowen, your grouchy art professor, is literally so :| when you break the news

like he could not give two shits

he puts down his coffee and is like “oh. well, i couldn’t tell. congratulations, talk to the dean about your maternity dates. and shut the damn door behind you.”

like

damn sir okay

professor choi <3 is so <3 excited <3

she immediately goes to touch your stomach and then quickly stops herself like “oops, silly me! i remember when i had my first child i was so picky with who could touch my belly!! heeheehee how many weeks are you darling!!”

she’s already getting so excited and inviting herself to the birth

like please professor choi

we love you but please don’t turn up for the birth

PLEATHE

she keeps making invitations to bring the baby to classes when they’re born because “obviously im amazing with babies and ooh i just can’t wait to see them! jeongguk- don’t tell me you stepped up and did this all by yourself?”

jeongguk nearly throws up

“EWWWWWWW wtf i mean y/n babe i love you but EWWHJFHJKS why would i want to be with y/n she’s like my annoying sister! no the daddy is ho-”

and you’re like BITCH STOP!!!

“....honestly the best man on planet earth? you definitely don’t know him at all.”

14 weeks :)

“okay, miss l/n. it’s going to feel a little bit cold, but we’re going to put some ultrasound gel on your stomach now, is that okay?”

it’s the day of the ultrasound!!!

for you and hoseok this is the Big moment next to birth because it’s almost like final confirmation that there’s a baby in there

at this point you’re starting to show a lot

it’s big enough for you and flat 18 to know there’s a difference

but tbh if people didn’t know you they might just think you’ve got a few pounds on you and nobody cares at all at uni like literally nobody gives a fuck about what anybody else looks like

hoseok got permission of the dean to get the day off (he told them that his girlfriend was going for an ultrasound and so he just had to be there, and the dean, not knowing any better, was all smiles and said, “of course, professor jung! congratulations! i didn’t know you were expecting, or even dating!”)

because the best thing about being jung hoseok is the fact that he’s well known and it gets him out of trouble sometimes

thankfully the dean is old and dumb and didn’t clock on to the fact that you paid her a visit like a few weeks prior asking about maternity dates :)

PHEW!!!

jung hoseok’s job: saved

hoseok is holding your hand reassuringly and is sitting to your left, the other hand on your ankle and his leg is going cRAZY it’s just bobbing like heck next to the bed

a part of him is still really sort of insecure because even though the sonographer and nurse present don’t know that hoseok is a professor at your uni, he still feels really weird knowing who he is and how you could do better and could be doing better and more if it weren’t for stupid him not putting on a condom

he is so excited to have this baby but he thinks about that a lot, about how he’s basically ruined your life by putting a baby inside of you

you look incredibly excited though, lying on the bed with your eyes really wide and expectant because omg this is your baby!!!!

now that you’re here there’s some finality

ever since you found out you were pregnant there had been so many doubts but now that you’re here, with hoseok, about to see honey for the first time…

alexa play Despacito cause this is epic

“okay. let’s see what your baby is getting up to in there!”

this sonographer is really enthusiastic apparently

“alrighty. so, as you can see...oh! always a good sign- we have a confirmed heartbeat. usually that puts parents at ease, knowing their baby is all okay and healthy in there!”

and then she starts listing off various body parts but in all honesty you cant see a thing

hoseok is very interested in the screen and his smile gets wider at every body part she lists off

you really should be invested in the baby inside of you but when he smiles like that :( you just wanna grab him and kiss him really deeply

“everything seems to be perfectly fine with your baby, miss l/n. a very beautiful baby. they’re about the size of a peach right now, isn’t that just incredible?”

hoseok’s grinning like it’s his default facial expression

he squeezes your hand really tight and kisses it three times

“that’s our baby,” you say, still in motherly awe. “they’re real! we did THAT!”

“yeah, we did,” he replies, lips still pressed against your skin. “i’m proud of you.”

“i haven’t done anything yet!”

but really you have

to him you’re one of the bravest people he’s ever met in his entire life and he knows it must be so so hard for you to accept the fact that you’re having a baby aged 20 during uni

not that it’s uncommon but it’s just….not particularly ideal? at this moment in time?

“im so happy right now.”

“me too, baby.” you squeeze his hands, “me too!!!! our baby!!!! honey is the size of a peach already!!!”

he starts laughing

hoseok is just so overwhelmed with emotions he genuinely feels like he might cry rn

“i’m so happy it’s with you,” he says honestly and like the nurse is like :’) and you’re like :’o “it could have been anyone at any point in my life, but i’m so glad it’s with you.”

you look at him in awe

because that’s the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to you

like

ever

you tug him gently by the hand and he brings himself forward and

SMOOCH

you believe this is the first kiss he has given you since the “big shindig” (for some reason, flat 18 are obsessed with calling everything a shindig and so it just sort of stuck)

so it’s a big deal

and it’s also at the place where your pregnancy was confirmed

it’s perfect

the nurse is like AWWWWWWWWW

the sonographer is just like “anyways ! do you want to know the gender !!!”

you and hoseok have talked about maybe finding out sooner

it would put flat 18 at rest knowing if honey is a girl or a boy

but deep down it’s like...if honey is a boy or a girl for definite you don’t want the nickname honey to go away when you start referring to it as a name you both like...and plus like isnt it way too early

hoseok is happy with whatever choice you want because he likes the element of surprise

you two decided a couple of days ago that it could be super cute to have a reveal party

jimin was particularly excited about that idea (“I’M GONNA MAKE THE CUPCAKES”)

“um actually, can you like put it in an envelope!! we want to have a reveal party so it’s gonna be a surprise for now!”

the nurse and stuff are like “omg yes of course!!” and so it’s sealed away in a little envelope

“i can’t believe we’re actually like...almost parents,” hoseok says on the way back to the car.

“i know. it’s so weird. i can’t believe WE’RE having a kid together.”

hoseok helps strap you in because he’s one of THOSE expecting fathers who like as soon as he knows it’s happening he’s cautious about EVERYTHING

literally everything

falling out of bed when he’s staying over? not allowed, he’s making pillow barriers

tripping over rugs? the rug is being rolled up and put away

hotel? trivago

“it’s actually super funny to me because like i always fantasised about boning the Daddy of biology and look at where we are right now!!”

he starts the car- “the ‘daddy of biology’? what??”

and you’re like, “oh yeah oops haha basically i had a fat old crush on you and we all started calling you that.”

“i’m...honoured? well i knew you had a crush on me already, heehee”

as he pulls out of the hospital he glances over and grins to himself. “if it makes you feel better, i remember telling yoongi about the cute friend of seunghee who comes to my class every other day. yoongi made fun of me for weeks afterwards, and now look at us!!”

(yes it boosts your ego a little bit)

when christmas comes around hoseok makes an ultimate surprise

you end up showing off the baby scan like it’s a broken wrist in primary school because everybody wants to see the little honey

jeongguk is CONVINCED he can see a penis and so he’s like 98% sure it’s a baby boy

haseul tells him several times that it’s literally honey’s foot but he’s having none of it

you call your mom and tell her that you’re coming to see her in early january

(specifically january 4th)

she’s weirdly suspicious about it but nonetheless excited

hoseok has made plans for you to meet his family just afterwards so you’re going to be showing off the scan quite frequently

flat 18 don’t like doing gifts at christmas but jimin always bakes goodies for the flat

this year you’re particularly upset because you have yet to taste jimin’s christmas cookies and you already took your recommended amount of sugar by the time his cookies are done

“one cookie won’t hurt honey,” seunghee says

“i’m not taking aNY risks with it!!!”

hoseok makes a stop by the flat after you’ve had your first christmas dinner as a flat <3 aw

he shocks everybody when he walks in because he’s gone the extra mile and got gifts for everybody in the flat

“it’s just a way of me saying thanks for looking after my babies,” he says as he hands out the gifts

you can literally feel jeongguk’s smirk

and of course !!! he got you like three gifts because you’re secretly like the love of his life

even though it’s really not a secret but still

he mostly gets you the typical christmas things like things he knows you wanted (like that sailor moon designer ring that you don’t need really but omg its gorgeous and you want matching)

the last gift is really small and you’re like :O because the small gifts are usually the super thoughtful ones

it’s keys….

you’re almost like “HUH”

then it clicks

“oh...my...GOD?????”

hoseok bought the place you and him went to check out a few weeks back (the one just a few minutes away from the flat and campus)

AND IT DOESN’T END THERE

he’s all giggly and happy when you start BLUBBERING about how you own a house and now you can get a nursery and omg no more listening to jimin and jeongguk screaming over super smash ultimate in the living room

“because i think it’s time we live together, as a family, you know?” he says, holding you in his arms and kissing your face really sweetly. “it’ll be so good, living with my girlfriend and soon enough, my baby.”

“g-girlfriend?”

“well, yeah baby, of course. wanna be my girlfriend? please?”

you cry even more

“wtf yes of course i do :(”

(flat 18 are extremely territorial and are only settled and content with you leaving when hoseok takes them to the house and they’re like :D okay we’re coming over every weekend)

((haseul cries when she sees the room that’s gonna be the nursery))

15 weeks ^_^

“what if your mom beats my ass?”

today is january 4th which means it is the day that hoseok is going to meet your family

and also the day they are going to indirectly meet the little honey :’)

honey is now the size of a navel orange according to the website that everyone in flat 18 has pinned on their laptop chrome browser

which is really cute

jimin is the flat 18 member who likes to call honey everything but honey and recently started nicknaming them after the fruits on the website

so he’s like, “good morning little satsuma!” or “hello navel orange, how are you?” when he sees you around the flat

you’re probably going to be officially moved out by next week which is really exciting teeheehee

“she won’t….probably. my mom is really nice! she’ll like you!”

“will she still like me when she finds out i teach biology to seunghee?”

“yes probably, i don’t think she really knows what that means.”

“what, biology?”

“no, i don’t think she’ll realise that you’re a professor at my- you know what, never mind that. did you lock the car?”

since christmas and becoming hoseok’s official girly, you two have just been closer than ever

hoseok is still really cautious about the baby stuff because this is obviously his first baby ever

he’s that person who thinks having sex will like kill the baby

of course, he did try it once

just to say he’d had sex with a pregnant lady

“that’s one for the bois.”

“what bois, you don’t have any friends, baby.”

“NOT true i have like 3 friends!!”

when hoseok timidly knocks on your mom’s front door he’s so so nervous when a big buff man opens the door instead

inside he’s like wtf i thought y/n’s dad was like GONE

but then you’re like “oh hi daren! yeah, this is my boyfriend, hoseok, hoseok this is my mom’s boyfriend!”

you didn’t tell hoseok just because you got pleasure seeing him look so terrified at the thought of telling ur Dad that he knocked you up

thankfully you’re not close enough to daren for him to have any protective feelings for you

not like a close dad would anyway

when he meets your mom it’s literally like meeting an older You

like

your mom is so nice :(

she greets hoseok really really excitedly and is all for embarrassing you within 5 minutes of you coming home

“did you know that it’s been exactly four years and five months since y/n came home with a BOY? she never comes home with anybody!!! i thought she was joining a nunnery!!!”

like omg…..so funny…...really, like, joke of the year

your sister is also here and she’s looking at hoseok like -_o because…. “i’ve seen you somewhere…”

now you’re shaking

omg does she KNOW

“i mean, he was at [cousin’s name]’s wedding hahahha...that’s probably how u know him….small world.”

“ew what do you MEAN he was there- he’s not family is he?”

o.o

“wtf no he’s a friend of [groom’s name] wtf Why would i be dating him if he was family What is wrong with you?”

you guys have a nice little snack and tea together and hoseok starts to feel really comfortable

but then Mrs y/n puts down her tea and sits back in her chair, slapping her thighs: “alright then. so what’s this big surprise you have for us?”

oh

oh yeah he forgot about the fact that you’re having his kid and you’re about to drop the news

suddenly he wants to throw up the brownies he just ate

and your sisters blue shirt looks like a perfect place to throw up <3

“well, it’s kind of been a surprise to us all, actually,” you begin, and you take hoseok’s hands in your own and your sister narrows in on it and she knows like right away

she thought she saw the bump but didn’t want to mention it because You’re the sensitive sister and if it was just weight gain she didn’t wanna handle you crying everywhere

but now she knows and she sits back in her seat and starts to smile

she wants to say something but hoseok looks at her like owo please don’t say anything sis

(she doesn’t)

“but, me and hoseok are in a very...close relationship-”

“oh god you got married didn’t you.”

“um, no, but, i’m sure that’s in the future, right? y-yeah? right, yeah, um…”

“it’s not something we’re discussing right now,” hoseok blurts out. “but, i mean, i want to? soon? like later?”

your mom is literally there like “well what is it????”

“.....i’m pregnant.”

“...oh.”

...

...

“REALLY???????”

your mom is shook to the core

she really doesn’t believe you until you whip out the baby scan

and she starts sobbing

like full on sobbing like she’s just been punched in the face by bowser

daren is all smiles and is like “wow congrats!”

your sister hugs both you and hoseok and says to hoseok in his ear “can you please sign my copy of “ouch mitosis” because it’s my favourite book and i totally knew you were famous the moment you walked in” and pulls away and is like “im so excited to be an aunt!!! what’s the gender!!! when are they due!!! what are you gonna call them!!!!”

needless to say your sister leaves with a signed copy of hoseok’s big money book

and your mom is now 100% hooked on the baby being called honey

week 17 :-)

you and hoseok are now homeowners officially !!!!!

flat 18 have come down to visit as a sort of moving in house-warming party and hoseok invited his “three friends” (by friends he means work colleagues lmao)

jimin is still weirded out by the fact that professor jung heard him talking about his fantasy of having professor min inside his GUTS and so tries to avoid hoseok and yoongi when they are together

hoseok also cannot forget hearing that :-( his ears :-( are tainted :-(

it’s your first real time meeting hoseok’s friends

like you’ve never really met namjoon or seokjin but you know of them

because everybody knows about the married Gays of your uni like it made the news and everybody was invited to their after party last year

(yes you went but only like for fifteen minutes because you remembered that you had an art history essay due the next morning that hadn’t been done)

for the sake of you and honey, seunghee tries not to be weirded out by the fact that so many members of staff are at your house and wtf hi professor min WHY are you here again

“can i touch?” seokjin asks really suddenly after hoseok is showing yoongi and namjoon the room that will be the nursery

currently it’s empty with like one box and that one box is full of clothes haseul ordered on impulse

“um. yes!!”

“are you sure? i know some moms get really protective over who touches and i don’t wanna overstep-”

“put ur freakishly big hand on my belly right now!”

he does and he gets really excited touching because he’s never actually touched a baby belly before

namjoon is most excited about the nursery and he’s listing off things hoseok could get

like “OOOO you could totally get one of those really big stuffed bears if you’re going for neutral tones- wait, that’s such a good idea? i’ll order one.”

and hoseok’s like mm okay sweetie sure whatever spend your money on me it’s okay

yoongi is really just. in awe of the baby scan

like it’s not even his baby and he’s tearing up like wtf that’s his niece or nephew that’s his mf baby!!!!!! that’s gonna be the person he spends all his cash on!!!!! he’s so excited to be broke and baby whipped!!!

“and so what, you’re like seventeen weeks?”

“yep! i’m almost four months uwu!!! honey is as big as a pomegranate, how cute!! time flies when you’re having fun huh!”

seokjin pauses and asks the big question like “but like what are you going to do about maternity? are they letting you have days off school? because i can totally send one of my sociology kids to take notes in your lectures because i have authority apparently and you’re like. family? i could do that.”

and you’re like “omg pls no that kid needs their own education!!!” and you tell him that your professors and the dean let you have time off near the due date (which should probably be around june!! a summer babie)

“but it sucks because i wanted to have a gender reveal party and invite some people from uni but then they’re gonna find out that hoseok is the dad and he could like lose his job :(”

and then seokjin is like: “wait but you study art and not biology?”

… “what do you mean?”

“well, policy says that you can’t have a relationship between a teacher and their student. but if you’re in completely different departments….and he doesn’t teach you, therefore can’t have bias over your grades or anything like that…..then really you’re allowed to be with him.”

..

what

wHY DIDN’T YOU KNOW THIS????

“since when is that a thing????”

“since like. the day our uni was founded?????”

ob viously when hoseok finds out he’s like O____O “how did you know that omg??”

and seokjin is so done he’s just sitting there with his face looking like this -__-

“it’s literally in the Faculty Handbook that you’re supposed to read before you join the uni as a teacher…”

and hoseok scoffs and grins sheepishly, “yeah well yoongi got me the job so i didn’t read any of that.”

(from across the room jimin groans)

((“so i guess this means i can’t seduce yoongi at a family wedding huh.”))

week 20 :’)

you have somehow adopted the name of “campus milf”

which jimin doesn’t think is that bad of a nickname

“it could be worse, y/n. let that sink in.” and he’s right it really could be worse

nobody actually really cares that you’re pregnant like really they could care less

some students say weird things but it doesn’t really bother you bc like lmao? who even are you Jongin Get out of here!

people aren’t 100% familiar with hoseok being the father but it goes without saying that it will be around campus in less than 15 hours because majority of the art department were present for the gender reveal and oh look

jeongguk invited taehyung and taehyung invited his friends and now there’s a whole bunch of jocks at the gender reveal party?????

the party is obviously at your house

YOUR HOUSE!!!! YES MF THATS URS!!!!

you invited your close family and flat 18 of course and jeongguk invited taehyung who invited his girlfriend binnie and his roomie jackson and jackson, being part of the football team, invited some of the jocks

you would have cared if the jocks hadn’t brought gifts but half of them turned up with a gift or food and so you’re like “okay well come on in boys i’m y/n hi we’ve literally never ever met”

it looks really funny seeing jocks in their fucking JERSEYS (like they couldn’t have changed for this one occasion) standing around your backyard with glasses of wine

oK maybe jeongguk has a vodka and dr pepper but that’s because he did blow up all the balloons from his lungs alone and he deserved a reward

hoseok invited his family too and his friends and that’s about it

your art professor is also here too and she is technically half of the art department (or half of those you care about because weird quiet kid Jisung didn’t wanna show up which is honestly really rude and suddenly you’re not friends anymore)

even though this party technically reveals the gender, you both asked for “gender neutral” clothes and by gender neutral you meant any colour besides the stereotypical blue and pink

because what if honey really likes the colour green? what then

you and hoseok let jimin be in charge of the reveal party and he’s done a pretty good job

for some reason he’s wearing his hoodie up and you’re like “literally what the fuck it’s sunny today?”

and he’s all surrender hands: “that’s exactly why. i don’t...like the sun.”

“what do you mEAN??????? you love the sun don’t lie??!!”

a couple of weeks ago you and hoseok made another visit to the hospital to see if the gender was 100% accurate

the process was weirdly fast and the sonographer was like “lol yeah it’s right” and then dipped

so when you have jimin the envelope he has peeped and done the thing

“haha lol i knew it.”

“no you didn’t??????”

but he did a really lovely job; there’s a cluster of balloons and cakes decorated with the Blue and Pink and there’s like a cute game on like guess the gender or something you don’t really care much about

hoseok’s family really want it to be a boy <3

mrs y/n wants it to be a girl and so does your sister <3

you don’t really care just as long as the baby is okay and healthy <3

when it’s time to reveal the gender jimin has decided that a fantastic way to do that is by giving you and hoseok like one of those party poppers that when it pops it bleeds like coloured confetti and stuff

you actually really like the idea because it’s not as awkward as a cake where you cut and it’s awkwardly long and the reaction feels kind of forced (you youtubed reveal parties)

so this one is really like a quick reaction so hopefully it will feel a lot more genuine!

“are you ready, baby?”

hoseok has one arm wrapped firmly around your waist and oh LAWD

he’s doing the smile

you know the smile

you nod and grin at him like “yep! let’s see who honey really is!!!”

so everybody is ready

so excited

jeongguk is filming like he can feel it in his bones rn that this babie is gonna be a boy

like it’s gonna be his son...half son….almost son….technically his non biological son

everybody does a countdown

“three!”

hoseok smiles super excitedly

“two!”

he kisses your lips super fast and laughs quietly

he’s so excited

“one!”

POP

wait what

you can feel your stomach CHURNING when the party popper releases literally nothing but black and white confetti

what just happened?

what does black and white mean?

you’re looking desperately between hoseok and the popper and then back to jimin who’s faking a :O by the patio doors

jeongguk is like “aw fuck should i restart?”

“omg is it a dud? what happened is this a busted popper please say it is omg is there something wrong with honey? is honey okay? oh my god is honey dead? oh my god why would we party pop that?????”

hoseok’s like “omg calm down it’s just a dud omg it’s okay”

you’re literally like about to cry

then jimin steps forward

“guys!”

and everybody looks

“yall gonna stress me the fuck out”

and in a viral video like fashion

he yanks down his hoodie and

oh wow

his head is a giant mop of blue

blue

BLUE MEANS BOY

ITS A BOY

everybody starts screaming and clapping and jeongguk is laughing his ASS off like this shit about to be the blurriest gender reveal video ever

“omg a boy!!! a boy!!! y/n we’re having a son!!! omg y/n our baby!!! our little honey!!!”

hoseok is over the freaking moon

like he has not been this excited since the first baby scan

you actually start crying now

“i’m not CRYING it’s just the pregnancy…. ok fuck OFF IM CRYING IM SO HAPPY!!! i’m having a son!!!!”

time for haseul to be both happy and sad at the same time

seunghee and jeongguk are like sucking eachothers titties right now like they are so hyped

“TOLD YOU !!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!”

hoseok brings you in for the biggest and longest kiss Ever

like you haven’t had many long kisses with hoseok because it’s been trying to build up a relationship time for the past three months of your life

but this kiss is so loving you almost faint

he brings you in so gently and holds your head in his hands

one thumb rubs across your cheekbone and wow. this kiss...is so good like are those stars???

“i love you.”

alexa...ALEXA PLAY DESPACITO RIGHT NOW

“i love You more,” you whisper against his lips and he makes this really cute noise at the back of his throat (kinda like one of those whines you do where it’s like too good to be true) and he kisses you again

jeongguk zooms in

“look at this….ugh, no respect for any single people here.”

(for a brief moment jimin’s bleached blue scalp goes unnoticed until yoongi compliments him on it)

((he disappears for like fifteen minutes in the toilet and yoongi doesn’t wanna know what he was doing))

22 weeks!!!!

hoseok really probably shouldn’t find you sexy right now

you keep going on and on and on about how un-sexy you are with swollen ankles and stuff

in his opinion you’re looking really good considering and he won’t say it but the weight gain looks good on you and it gives you a nice natural #dewy look that he really loves

he remembers how cautious he was about having sex with you at like. what? 10 weeks

character development time

he’s very aware of the research and the facts and so when you shuffle over to him and huff and act all extra EXTRA touchy he’s just knows

“omg are you horny AGAIN”

“im SORRY IT JUST HAPPENS”

and he doesn’t really care that you’re big and pregnant and yeah actually your ankles are kinda swollen but it’s fine

hoseok discovers that he actually really likes pregnancy sex

pregnancy sex always scared him bc omg what if my dick touches my KID that would be all levels of weird

but he is like a biology professor and knows that’s not realistic (he thinks)

and like he was aware that at some point during pregnancy, your body is gonna be producing a lot more fluid

but my GOD

he nearly bust a nut after 3 seconds because he just slid right in

unlike the big shindig 22 weeks ago, hoseok is so so SO careful during pregnancy sex

like he’s extra loving and strokes your hair and kisses your face and arms and stomach

he loves kissing ur tummy :(

esp after sex because he’s like “im sorry honey :( i know you must be traumatised in there.”

but in the moment he really does take advantage of the fact that your hormones are going crazy and it’s not gonna last forever

you’re a talker in bed and he knows that

you’re very vocal about how things feel and some of the things you say really get to his ego like his head is so big rn

“oh...OH, omg, yep, you found it, oh fuck- yes! hoseok, yes, right there-”

and you sound so fucking hot but he can’t be rough bc like Honey is gonna be SCARRED FOR LIFE

your thing is saying i love you during sex

like a lot

hoseok finds it so endearing that you talk and whine with like every thrust and then spill out a thousand “i love you’s” in under thirty seconds as you cum <3 because <3 that’s his girl <3 that’s the love of his life <3 and she loves him back <3 heeheehee

his heart swells with pride

((hoseok also gets extremely turned on that one time you call him daddy during sex and he HAS to find out how to get rid of that kink before honey gets here))

23 weeks :P

as promised, you invite seunghee to help you and hoseok paint the nursery

jimin came too but he literally did nothing

all he did was sit on the floor looking at baby furniture like

jimin sweetie these walls aren’t gonna paint themselves

you have decided on a cream and beige coloured nursery

because it’s unisex and also makes the room feel really bright and clean and nice for when honey arrives

hoseok loves yellow and since the nursery is primarily your favourite colours, a lot of smaller accessories are yellow around the room

seunghee had so much fun looking for ~yellow~ items because “monkeys totally match the theme and omg this mobile is monkeys and bananas its already on its way i’ve just ordered it.”

the nursery takes roughly around a week to get done completely

alongside your studies, some other art students who are now very aware of the baby and the bump helped paint some of the furniture while you were catching up on some work

example a: you accidentally ordered a dark brown chester drawers and when it arrived you cried for like 45 minutes

jeongguk asked some kids from class to come by your house after class and help paint it so you didn’t feel so stressed and so you could actually finish your art assignments in prep for exams

hoseok and jeongguk helped put up the crib because “this is not a one man job, y/n, this...this is a test of skill.”

yoongi comes around often to look at the nursery and he’s the person who won’t buy anything until the baby is out and in the world

namjoon definitely does buy the huge stuffed bear for the corner of the room and often you catch seunghee asleep against it because she comes by the nursery so often to help you and hoseok make it perfect

because hoseok has a full time job that really requires all of his time and sometimes he can’t be working on the nursery and marking essays at the same time :(

“hee, can you pass me the blankets from that box over there?” you point to a collection of boxes by the wardrobe and seunghee nods, practically running over

you’re both working on the nursery (it’s friday afternoon and classes are over, but unfortunately hoseok had to finish a meeting and he’s currently in his office ((at home)) finishing these essays for the weekend)

yoongi called and said he’d be round later because he wants to check in on honey (and you of course) and he’s also coming for dinner because it’s normal to invite jimin’s physics professor around

it’s totally fine

at this point you sort of forget that he’s a professor

yoongi has become like a permanent figure in your life since hoseok and you moved in

like flat 18, he’s literally always over

seunghee fishes out like three blankets because lord knows you have about three hundred thanks to haseul and namjoon and their impulsive buying

the nursery is basically finished at this point

all you’re doing is adding blankets and a few cute little pillows to the crib and then

hey pasta

it’s done :)

“y/n, i really can’t wait for honey to be here.”

you turn slightly and see seunghee running her hands over the chester drawers, looking at the cute little decorations and pictures on the wall and the monkey mobile and, her favourite part, the little bee wall stickers that hoseok found and thought were cute (“we call him honey, it seems fitting!”)

“me too,” you reply super honestly, setting down the blanket. “if you had told me at the start of september that i’d be here right now, in a house i own, pregnant with jung hoseok’s baby...i would have seriously laughed in your face.”

“i’m just...so happy that everything is working out for you!”

it’s time for seunghee to get especially sappy

“and i know that having a baby at twenty can be really hard and it hasn’t been easy for you- but i’m 100% here for you whenever you need me and i’m so so so so happy that jimin introduced us as friends because i love having you in my life….even though you slept with my biology professor….it’s okay….i love you so much….you’re like my sister and i’m so excited for honey have i said that i’m excited yet? cause i am!!!”

you blame pregnancy hormones because you start sobbing when seunghee blurts out all these lovely things

like how she’s grateful to be helping you in the nursery and how she thinks you and hoseok are such a good match and how she misses having you around the flat <3

“seunghee…” you bring her in for such a tight cuddle

seunghee is definitely that friend who even though she’s older she feels like the little baby sister that you want to protect from all harm on earth

even though she’s the oldest out of the flat 18 gang, you all look to her as like a baby sibling

(minus jeongguk that ONE TIME he made out with her….yes you remember the text message)

so you’re just hugging her in the middle of the nursery

hoseok is just about finished with essays and he refrains from like screaming out of joy

he loves being a professor but fucking hell

some of the GARBAGE his students write because they know he’s the cool professor who takes it easy on his kids

so he’s already packing everything away when he pauses

...is that...SQUEALING??

what’s happening??????

he assumes the worst and ZOOMS out of the office towards the nursery where you and seunghee are

safe to say that he’s so thankful nothing bad is happening

you’re holding your stomach with the widest eyes and smile and seunghee is like SQUEALING LIKE A DAMN PIGLET

“is everything okay???? what happened???? is honey okay?????? are you okay?????”

he blinks so confused when you wave your hands at him and beckon him closer

“HE KICKED HE’S KICKING QUICK QUICK HOBI QUICK--”

HE CROSSES THE ROOM SO FAST

seunghee is like crying to the side of the room and hoseok has both hands on your stomach

honey stopped kicking when hoseok put his hands on there

and he was like :( oh

“maybe he went to sleep?” seunghee doesn’t want hoseok to feel bad about it

you put your hands over his and then stroke your tummy

“it’s okay, honey, it’s just daddy! say hi to daddy?”

hoseok’s like seconds away from crying

like omg R His Eyes Filling Up

but then

honey starts kicking again

VERY ENTHUSIASTICALLY

and hoseok goes from :’( to :’D in like 2 seconds

“oh my god he knows it’s me!!! hi honey!!!! hi!!!”

he drops to his knees so that he can be level with the stomach and around about where honey is kicking

“hi honey! it’s your daddy,” he puts on this really cute cooing voice Like the typical baby talk voice

seunghee is texting the flat like HONEY KICKED ME

“he knows your voice,” you say with a little laugh, one hand on your tummy and the other threading through hoseok’s hair

“this is amazing,” he mutters, and then kisses your tummy and smiles, “did you feel that, honey? can you hear me?”

KICK KCIK CKICKCKCKCIC

“omg yes i think he can hear you holy SHIT-”

“don’t swear in front of honey!!!”

“he HURTS!”

everybody forgot that jimin was still here because he was napping in the living room and so he comes in really late and is like “OMG HONEY IS KICKING? WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME??”

honey seems to be familiar with a lot of voices

he obviously really likes mommy’s voice and when she talks to him he likes to kick every once in a while

honey really loves daddy’s voice because when hoseok does his daily chit-chat honey goes crazy

honey also knows jeongguk’s voice really well

jimin is afraid to go near honey because he kicked him when he went to kiss your tummy

he also kicked haseul but she was like “OOOH HE HEARD ME!!!!” and doesn’t let it bother her because!!! she felt the kick!!!! that’s her nephew!!!!

26 weeks (yawn)

it’s starting to hit

the Pregnancy Pains

up until now you’ve been pretty blessed and actually it’s been a nice pleasant journey

but good grief it’s 4:56am and everything hurts

you physically cannot stay in bed any longer

for a moment you actually get really panicked because oh GOD labour is gonna be so much worse than this

like this is nothing

girl you have no idea what’s coming

hoseok has learned to become a light sleeper

you have a really weird sleeping schedule during pregnancy and sometimes he’d wake up at 6am to go to work and you’re already up doing stuff and he gets home at like 6pm sometimes and you’re flat out, then waking up at 3am to continue the day because you were in agony

so when you wake up at (nearly) 5am on a SATURDAY he’s like already up

his body clock is so weird now thanks to you and your weird sleeping habits

“hurts?” hoseok asks rubbing your back as you’re slumped over the side of the bed. he barely catches a nod and kisses your temple and hugs you, “i read on that baby website that baths can help ease the pain sometimes. should i run one?”

you nearly CRY

“yes yes Yes please omg :(”

so that’s how he got to where he is right now

sitting on the bathroom floor running a bath

he’s so careful to get the temperature right and he spends a good three minutes deciding which lush bath bomb is going to be used

(he settles on “honey bee” which was actually a gift he got you on valentines day but you never got around to using) ((he was skeptical because of the colours but baby is called honey so he thought it would be cute)) (((you loved it)))

you hobble into the bathroom and he’s just about finishing it up, running his fingers in the water to make sure it’s not toooOOO hot

you love watching the colours fizz in the bath and so naturally you have to be there to see it happen

seeing all the yellows was pretty exciting and hoseok’s just like :D watching you get happy by the colours

hoseok helps you get undressed as you just talk on and on and on

honestly

how do you have so much energy at like 5am in the morning…

he can’t help but notice how much you are GLOWING

like he hasn’t really seen many pregnant women

if any at all besides you

but you really look so pretty and natural and just wow he’s full of love

as you sit down in the bath, you grip onto his hand as he moves to get more comfortable and you’re like “do you wanna get in with me!!!”

“baby, i don’t think i’m gonna fit.”

“you will i promise, get in here!”

he’s skeptical

“yea...i don’t think im gonna fit, love.”

oh he does

he fits

if he fits he sits and he FITS

he really underestimated how wide this bath was and he sits with his back near the taps and you’re facing him

you have enough room to put your legs on either side of him and you’re like sitting between his legs and in all honesty the tummy is the only thing between you and him and his dick

but like you’ve seen it before you don’t care

and he certainly doesn’t care about seeing any bits of you bc your his bABY thats his GIRL

“this smells amazing.”

“yeah, smells like-”

“honey!”

with hoseok being like. a full time professor and with you trying to make it to classes in between awful pregnancy pains, it’s hard to find time to spend with you because he’s really busy

sometimes you do actually go to class and end up like falling asleep on the desk and professor choi is like torn between letting you stay there or sending jeongguk to get you and take you home

“thank you for this, hoseok.”

:D “hey, hey, hey...anytime you need anything, i will do it, okay?”

“i know babe and you’ve been so so so so helpful these past few months and i know it must have been hard and a big adjustment but im just so glad you’re here and that we’re raising a family together like this means so much to me that you’re here with me and i just love you a LOT okay like a lot-”

“y/n l/n!” hoseok playfully cuts you off and holds your face in his hands (his signature pussy-throbbing move)

his hands are wet and now so is your face but you really don’t care

“you are,” he continues, “the love of my life. i couldn’t let you do this alone. meeting you, being with you- starting a family with you has been one of the best experiences of my whole life. and i wouldn’t change that for anything!!! i love you so much, and i love you even when you’re cranky, and i love you when you ask for really disgusting things to eat, and i love you when you sing to honey in the mornings. i’m just...so in love with you and honey, i can’t even put it into words!!!”

and he starts speaking so damn fast

like you BARELY catch it

“and you’re thebest thing that has ever happened to me and introducing you to my family was the proudest moment of my life and we’re gonna be the best parents ever and god i love you more than anything i would Die for you.”

…

i…

damn…

“...i think writing a best selling book is probably more worthy of pride than boring old me.”

“books are like a ten man job thing. you and me and honey are a two person job thing and i’m so proud of us, so proud of you :(”

he draws you in with a really soft kiss and its so. soft. and nice.

yep his dick is right up against honey right now

honey, sweetie, im so sorry oh god close your eyes baby close ur eyes

…

“we should get out soon bc this water is looking really ugly.”

“yeah i agree let’s get out”

30 weeks :3

<Y/N has created a new chat!>

from haseul: eye

from y/n: baby shower. 2 weeks time. my house. bring gifts or food

from y/n: preferably mustard sandwiches or sardines :)

from guk: thats fucking NASTY nobody bring that

from hoseok: last week she wanted meatballs and milk………….

from guk: do pregnant women deserve rights? be honest

from y/n: well looks like guk is no longer invited :)

from guk: NO PLS

from seunghee: YEAH BOIIIIII I HAVE SO MANY GIFTS

from yoongi: why did y/n just privately message me asking for blended sardines Hell nah pregnant women dont deserve rights

from y/n: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN RN :(

from hoseok: so! bring cakes !!!!!!

from namjoon: i have the best gift ever Not To Brag

from jimin: hi professor min how do you like the weather today

<y/n has removed jimin from the chat>

from y/n: can you let taehyung know the date? i dont have his number but he gave really warm hugs when i last saw him and i want another one

from y/n: tell him to bring his girlfriend too she looks like she’ll bring me a good gift

from hoseok: omg im dating a gold digger….

32 weeks !!!!!!!

“baby showers are technically just a way for the mom to get gifts. this is technically baby exploitation-”

“oh my god jeongguk if you don’t shut up im gonna shove this stick of celery up ur ass”

not that you’re ready to admit it to anybody

but yeah you organised a baby shower just to get gifts

it’s really only small

in comparison to your gender reveal party which was quite large

and even though a lot of expecting moms like having “women only” baby showers

you realise that you really want hoseok to be there

he’s been as important in the process as you have and you wouldn’t want him to feel left out

so this baby shower is open to everybody

again it’s only small: attendees are hoseok, yoongi, namjoon, seokjin, flat 18, hoseok’s mom and sister, your sister and mom, taehyung and his gf and professor choi because she was so excited

that seems quite large but in comparison to the gender reveal party this is really quite small and humble

“i can’t believe it’s almost been 8 months already,” haseul says, already starting on the cupcakes

jimin has started baking things more frequently to keep himself busy during exam season

“mhm!!! not long now!!!”

thankfully hoseok’s mom and sister get on really well together with your family and professor choi is like boring yoongi to death talking about something art related

namjoon and seokjin are taking a look at the finished nursery because hoseok’s really proud of how it turned out

it’s time to open gifts uwu!!!

most of the gifts are for honey

thankfully everybody stuck to the cream theme and there’s a lot of cute cream things for honey to wear and use when he’s born

seunghee keeps buying monkey related things for honey meanwhile haseul is hung up on bees

namjoon buys a lot of bear things

you just hope that honey doesn’t grow up as a furry

jimin and jeongguk are the friends who buy those cringey weirdly inappropriate baby shirts that have quotes like, “daddy’s fastest swimmer!” or like onesies that say “my favourite food is titty!”

you sit there like what the FUCK is this

and jeongguk is like “it’s a shirt !!! honey will look so cute in it!!”

“hONEY IS NOT WEARING A SHIRT THAT SAYS THAT WHAT KIND OF MOM DO YOU THINK I AM??”

yoongi is weirdly fashionable with his baby clothes

like he has a thing for those teddy coats and he bought like eight in different colours

“honey might like red, you don’t know yet.”

namjoon and seokjin together :( give the cutest gift :(

“oK so most professors end up writing books and stuff-” side eye at hoseok - “and so i just thought that, well, honey is gonna wanna grow up reading and stuff so i made this book!!! well, we made this book. everyone helped somehow and jeongguk drew the pictures and it’s just a little something for honey to grow up with reading”

you wanna cry

hoseok wants to cry

haseul cries

it’s not even for her but she cries

“its JUST REALLY THOUGHTFUL OKAY?”

you think it ends there with everybody giving gifts

but oh no

no

hoseok has a gift??????????????

“this gift is for mommy” he says with a bright smile and out the corner of your eye yoongi is squirming with a smirk

...what does he know that you don’t….

your sister is also smiling……

where’s ashton kutcher…….

you unwrap this little box and open it and

wow

OOOOOOOOOF

you’re so still staring at this really gorgeously simple ring that you don’t even notice hoseok getting down on one knee

HASEUL IS REALLY CRYING RN

“with honey close on the way, i figured i ought to ask before things get crazy.”

omg you brave looking at him and hes got that look again

THE FOND LOOK

AND YOUR EYES START FILLING UP

“y/n l/n i love you and i wanna spend the rest of my life with you :’) will you marry me?”

there is not a dry eye amongst flat 18 right now

haseul actually has to go outside because omg she’s so happy for you

seunghee teared up a little bit and jimin cried but then started laughing

jeongguk is being so dramatic about it

he’s crying as if his pet dog just died

“i...cant believe….my girl is all grown up….i cant...breathe rn omg…..can someone get me a drink?”

35 weeks :o

finals are here

but since jeongguk and haseul are art (sort of) majors their finals were earlier than other subjects

and so you decide to brave life and visit flat 18 :’)

you see a bunch of people on the way there because apparently a lot of people live off campus and walk at the same time as you

like why is everybody here rn

at this point you get a few more stares because

omg is that y/n l/n she’s HUGE!!!!!

you’re genuinely past caring at this point

you’re huge and your pregnant and you’re confident

jeongguk and haseul are the only ones at flat 18 when you arrive

it feels weird being back but it’s nice because flat 18 was once your home

your room hasn’t really changed much and you discover that . sometimes taehyung stops round and crashes in YOUR ROOM???

and if it’s not taehyung then it can be any one of their friends they invite around

which you’re only slightly hurt about

“jesus CHRIST you’re massive!!!”

“thanks jeongguk that makes me feel soOoooO good about myself <3”

“NO, fuck,” and he pauses because there’s a No Swearing Policy around honey since it’s not apparent that since he can hear everything he can probably hear jeongguk swearing too. “i just meant that! wow honey got really big :D not long now!! five more weeks until due date!!!”

haseul plops down on the other side of you

“i can’t wait until he’s here,” she says. “little honey is already the size of a pineapple- which is really crazy to think about!!”

it’s nice to spend some time with your friends after like weeks of being with hoseok

and don’t get me wrong you LOVE hoseok with like every single cell inside your body

but it’s nice to have some You time

and You time has always involved flat 18 like they’re drugs and you’re the addict you genuinely can’t be away from them because it starts to hit you hard :-(

haseul is like halfway through telling you something when you Feel it

and it feels Disgusting

you freeze and look down at your stomach

and you watch as honey makes a grand appearance

honey sort of “rolls over” and for a moment everyone is like >:O as honey’s whole body is visible moving across your stomach and it’s literally like there’s an ALIEN inside of you

“OMG OMGOGG that was so beautiful!!! honey, do it again for me, we have to film this for your dada!!” haseul runs to get her phone

meanwhile guk is looking at your stomach like “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT”

“i dont know but it felt weird”

“IT LOOKED LIKE YOUR STOMACH WAS GONNA EXPLODE”

you bet that honey is like giggling inside

honey: 1 jeongguk: 0

39 weeks…

at 39 weeks, with the due date so close by, you start to feel like something is really wrong

you did some research and while contractions were normal, this pain doesn’t really feel like contractions?

“baby please talk to me, i need to know what hurts so i can call the hospital and let them know.”

hoseok has never ever had to take a call in lecture before but this time he had to

he is so frantic that he set the lecture to a task and really quietly answered the phone at the front of the class

nobody is stupid and they’re all aware that hoseok and yourself are having a baby and so they really don’t mind that their lecture is being paused by you crying on the phone

“i-i-i don’t know...my body hurts and i can feel h-honey moving but he feels stuck or something...hoseok s-something is wrong i think i need to go to the hospital right now”

hoseok goes into full blown panicked dad mode

seunghee is sitting at the front of the lecture like, “hose-i mean, professor jung, do you need me to go and get another professor?”

he doesn’t reply, obviously distressed, and so she ends up waking up yoongi from a nap saying that she thinks maybe you’re going into early labour???

yoongi lets the head of the department know that hoseok has go to like right now and he enters the lecture hall like, “hoseok you need to go and see if she’s okay, don’t worry, i’ll try and go through the rest of the slides, just go, everything is fine”

and so hoseok BOLTS out of the lecture hall

forgets to set homework

and runs across campus to the car-park whilst still on the phone

(yoongi lets the class go because he really doesn’t know SHIT about Behaviour and Physiology of Organisms)

when hoseok and yourself end up at the hospital you realise that it’s not labour like seunghee thinks but things are equally as worrying

honey is currently in the breech position

“most babies are supposed to have moved at around 36-37 weeks, so it is alarming that your baby is still in breech, miss l/n,” the nurse is particularly sympathetic as she lets you and hoseok know

you’re totally lost but hoseok is holding your hand so tight and is so so worried

it’s not really the end of the world that honey is feet first but it’s problematic and means that labour is gonna be a bit more difficult

“well what does this mean? is he okay?”

“your baby is fine, it’s his position that is concerning. it will be more difficult to birth the baby because of his position in the womb- what is more concerning is that we were aware of this at your last scan. last time we saw you, miss l/n, your baby was in the footling breech position. of course, it was possible that he might shift during the time away, but he is now in the flexed breech.”

“w-well….what does that mean? is he gonna be okay?”

“when you are in labour, we will have two options; we can either go through with a vaginal breech birth, or a caesarean birth, depending on how willing he is to come out.”

when hoseok squeezes your hand you just. cry a little bit

“i dont wanna hurt him omg i dont want to have a c section either wtf i thought i’d just have to push him out oh no”

hoseok is feeling awful :( because what is he supposed to do :(

“so what should we do?” he asks really timidly

the nurse frowns and cleans up her things, “i would only suggest going home and staying at home until due date. it really is not recommended that we induce labour naturally but you need to be very careful. your son is not willing to turn on his own or with our help, so we will see what the situation is like during your very early stages of labour and we can discuss what method we go through with. are we leaning more towards a vaginal birth, miss l/n?”

you’re all snotty and sniffly but you nod. “please :( i really don’t wanna be cut open i saw what bella had to go through and im not doing that”

hoseok scoffs “twilight is not a reliable pregnancy source, baby.”

“i do believe that bella had no real pregnancy equipment and that her vampire husband had to cut the baby out of her without any sort of painkillers. in a worse case scenario, you do have to go through with a caesarean birth, you will be safe and we will do our best to relieve the pain for you.”

well that’s reassuring

when you two get home after a long day of panicking you’re incredibly alarmed to find that flat 18, hoseok’s close friends and your sister are all at your house like ??????? what are YOU DOING HERE

it’s like the spiderman meme

“what am i doing here??? i LIVE HERE??? what are YOU DOING HERE????”

“seunghee and yoongi said you were in labour???”

“well im not!!??? why would you think i was in labour?”

seunghee gets really defensive “UM hoseok was like on the verge of a mental breakdown at the front of the classroom and so it made sense that you were in labour?? im sorry???? at least we’re all here???”

you end up having to explain to a whole bunch of people that you’re NOT about to birth a pumpkin sized baby yet

but it’s really hard telling them that honey is like the wrong way :(

surprisingly it’s jimin and the married kims who are most worried about it

jimin just thinks that this means honey is like in real bad danger and he’s like omg :( my son from another mum :( wtf is honey okay?

and the married kims are never going to go through birth like this and so they do feel really alarmed

after hoseok reassures them that everything is (hopefully) okay everyone is sitting there like

:) ok what now

“....shall we order chinese food?” guk suggests

and so you all end up piled in the living room in weird positions watching hell’s kitchen whilst eating chinese food because :) might as well :)

40 WEEKS

your due date is like 4 days away

and you’ve been lying awake with really bad contractions for like 2 hours

but you’re so indignant like you refuse to believe you could be going into labour

hoseok is awake too and omg he’s doing his best

like he just doesn’t know how to help besides hugging you

and he does hug you like so closely and his hands running up and down your side and he’s like humming in your ear to try and take your mind off it

“i feel like im gonna fucking SHIT myself wtf”

he cant help but laugh sometimes, “wanna try for the toilet, baby?”

and you’re like “yeah im not really in the mood for like POOPINg in our bed is that okay?”

he’s already up and getting ready to help you walk across the room

lately you’ve been really wobbly whilst walking and in a lot of pain so he does whatever he can to help

he’s at the bottom of the bed and you’ve just stood up

….

huh

“i think i just peed myself?”

“what? why?”

“i didnt mean to!!!”

and you glance down

and wow thats a lot of pee

…

OH

“OH MY FUCKING GOD MY WATER JUST BROKE”

and oh my god hoseok has NEVER MOVED SO FAST IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE

he rushes to get all his things and honestly your stuff has been in the living room for the past week just in case

all you need now is to spend at least fifteen minutes trying to decide which book to take because obviously you’re gonna have loooaaaads of time to read

“Y/N YOU DONT NEED THE BOOK COME ON HONEY IS COMING WE HAVE TO GOOOOO”

what makes hoseok more panicked is the fact that yOU’re panicked

“omg y/n please calm down i’m driving as fast as i can please please please omg”

“I CANT WHY IS HE COMING NOW HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE YET”

hoseok crosses like 2 red lights and he’s freaking out double

“I JUST BROKE THE LAW”

“OKAY AND IM HAVING A FUCKING BABY SO KEEP DRIVING MISTER!!!”

you’re an angry birther

as he drives you decide to call jeongguk through the car because #technology

he answers like immediately

“hi babe whats up”

“JEONGGUK IM HAVING A BABY RIGHT NOW PLEASE COME TO THE HOSPITAL”

“what wha-WHAT OH MY FUCKING GOD HE’S COMING??”

“YES PLEASE TELL EVERYBODY- oh fuck hobi it hurtSSSS i wanna go home im not pushing him out yet-”

in the background guk has dropped his phone and is literally screaming around the house

in the back you can hear all of the flat screaming together because HONEY IS COMING

nobody is calm

when yoongi finds out he literally does not know what to do

when you hang up mid sentence he sits staring at the wall like “....omg”

quite literally everybody is a little stressed out when you’re at the hospital

your room is really nice and you’re like “oh wow hoseok you really spoiled me here, too bad i can’t enjoy it because im pushing out a WATERMELON”

obviously because honey is bum first instead of head first things are a little complicated

you’re actually really far in labour already like your mom said it took her like 5 hours to have your sister but turns out it’s been like 32 minutes exactly since your waters broke at home and the nurses seem to think you’re ready now

“NOW??? AS IN RIGHT NOW!!!”

“yep!! let’s bring your son into the world!!”

you discover by simply listening to the nurses that you’re going to be attempting an assisted breech vaginal birth and immediately you get panicked and flustered

you promised haseul and seunghee that they could be there during the birth :(

you had offered it to guk at first but he was like “i am nOT ready to see your vagina i’m sorry” and jimin said he wasn’t sure if he was up for seeing you in a lot of pain during the birth

and yoongi didn’t really want to be there for it because he’s a bit like both guk and jimin

hoseok didn’t mind at all that seunghee and haseul were asked to be there

in fact he was really encouraging of that fact

because both of them were there since the start

like

they watched u pee on those pregnancy tests

so you’re getting really anxious because what if honey comes before they’re here

“miss l/n i need you to breathe for me- please control your breathing! are miss l/n’s scheduled guests here?”

“...they’re in the lobby right now. they’re on their way, miss l/n. keep doing those breathing exercises- yes, there we go!”

hoseok is being nothing but supportive

he’s wiping down your head and holding your hand so tight

“you’re doing amazing, baby, you’re so so brave, i love you”

FINALLY haseul and seunghee bust through the doors

guk, jimin and yoongi are currently like milling around somewhere and your parents and hoseok’s parents have been told the news by guk and yoongi

you’re really fucking scared to have this baby

you did the stupid thing of googling what happens during a breech birth and it made you have a full blown panic attack after reading that honey could die during delivery

now that everything is ready for birth you’re really so scared that honey might not make it

before the midwives prop up your legs on the stirrups you take a good amount of gas an air

an epidural was suggested but hoseok knows that it’s not going to make that much of a difference for honey

and you just want to get him out of you quite honestly Nobody has time for an epidural like just get him out

hoseok feels AWFUL when you’re literally screaming in agony over honey

seunghee and haseul are being so encouraging but all hoseok can do is like stare with tears in his eyes because oh no WHAT HAS HE DONE

the midwives encourage you also with a hands off approach until honey’s bum and bottom half is out

their so vocal and warm like “you’re doing amazing, y/n, just keep pushing!! i can see his feet!!!”

and so you just go for it

you’re mentally praying you don’t like pass out from pushing too hard or worse, shit all over the bed because apparently THAT’S A THING

you’re too busy crying to notice that the midwives look really shocked when honey’s bottom half is out

hoseok gets curious and decides to make sure honey is okay

and he looks and is like “oh WHAT THE FUCK?”

only he doesn’t actually say that

actually he doesn’t say anything

“keep pushing, y/n, h-he’s almost out.”

why are they so hesitant

oh god it hurts so bad

you want to die

you don’t want to have a baby anymore

and then finally

RELEASE

you feel like you can’t breathe but oh my god

the sound of honey SCREAMING is like music to your ears because

HE’S OKAY

but why is everyone acting so WEIRD

you peer up over your legs and take a glance at honey like squirming in the midwives hands

and

oh

Oh WHAT THE FU-

“oh my god his penis fell off!!!!!!!”

honey is a GIRL???????????

HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???????

you don’t really care that it’s not a boy but like. YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A BOY

regardless the midwives do their thing and hoseok is back next to you like :O

“you did so well i’m so proud of you i love you so much- you did it! you did it you’re okay honey is okay!”

“honey is a GIRL?”

haseul is torn between being sad and happy because she wanted it to be a girl she kNEW FROM THE START THAT HONEY WAS DESTINED TO BE A GIRL

it turns out that the sonographer was never 100% on it being a boy and all this time the “penis” was probably just a toe or something or a glitch

because honey is definitely a little girl

a precious beautiful little baby girl

hoseok’s baby girl

he totally cries

no

he WEEPS

there are no dry eyes in the birthing room rn

honey is so gorgeous

she definitely has hoseok’s features like she has his eyes and his nose and his ears :(

the midwives let mommy hold honey for a little while

“skin to skin is very important!!! she’s not a little boy like expected, but she’s a perfectly healthy baby!”

if she wasn’t covered in disgusting gloop you would have kissed her all over

but as a mother that instinct is there

you kiss her forehead and her hands and you’re looking up at hoseok like what the fuck we mADE THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE HUMAN

hoseok is crying as if he just had to endure twenty five minutes of agony and had his vagina ripped open

he’s just so happy right now

thats his kid

HIS

THATS HIS BABY GIRL

HIS TWO BABY GIRLS!!!!!

his emotions have been a big fat rollercoaster like it went from panic when your water broke to major panic when seunghee and haseul hadn’t arrived and then horror when you were like screaming in agony and then shock when he thought that honey’s penis has fallen off during BIRTH because NOBODY EXPECTED HONEY TO PULL THE BIGGEST PLOT TWIST OF THE YEAR

now he’s like over the moon he’s so so so so happy

the nurses help get the placenta out but honestly you’re just numbed like you barely register it shooting out

“okay daddy, wanna cut the cord?”

he’s like “no i really dont it looks like a big weird worm”

he still does it anyway

it’s a weirdly fulfilling experience

when it’s time to clean up little honey, you finally break the news to everyone outside

they’re in a mild state of utter confusion

guk is like “well what happened? did it like. grow inside? where did it go?”

and jimin’s like “oh. so it was just a toe or something”

guk is really a little bit disappointed because he wanted a boy so badly but !!! a baby girl !!! a niece!!!!!

(he figures honey will like dinosaurs and naruto all the same as what boy honey would have)

hoseok has made the bed his bed also

he’s snuggled next to you and you have honey on your chest and she’s sleeping so soundly :’)

“have you guys picked a name?”

guk is halfway through eating the fruit salad that haseul made before leaving to get here on time (“you were late because you were making A FRUIT BOWL?” “IM SORRY I WAS HALFWAY THROUGH MAKING IT AND I COULDN’T JUST LEAVE IT”)

you and hoseok hadn’t thought much about it to be honest

although you had talked about it a few weeks earlier

(“i like the name jiyun for a boy” hoseok had said one evening. the two of you had decided that honey should have a korean name like their daddy and you were a-okay with it!! for the sake of your family you were willing to give him or her an english name that you were still undecided on.

you tested out the name. “jiyun. jung jiyun. omg it sounds really cute! what does it mean!!”

“hmm it can mean many things usually, but its usually meaning happiness and posterity, soft sleekness.”

“oh, so it’s one of THOSE names where it has like three meanings.”

“yeah :D”

you laugh. “okay, and how about a girl?”

“how come I’M the one making the decisions???”

“i’m saying yes or no, i’m helping!!”

hoseok huffs and hugs you closer. “uhh, okay. well. me and yoongi had talked about this, and he agreed that yeojin is a cute name. jung yeojin. it means beautiful and precious.”

you...fall in love with that name

“ngl i kinda want honey to be a girl now.”

“omg just for the NAME??? thats cheap”)

you nod at guk sleepily

the room is actually sort of filled with people

because hoseok wrote a book and was on tv he’s Hashtag special

flat 18 are in the room rn because yoongi had to run to pick up namjoon and seokjin and your parents are still like. not ready or here

hoseok’s family couldn’t be here because they were vacationing in europe and their flight got cancelled

“jung yeojin!”

everyone is really satisfied with that name

“are you giving her an english name, too?” seunghee asks, sitting next to the bed with her finger tucked in yeojin’s grasp

you have this twinkle in your eye as you smile down at yeojin and then up at hoseok

“i think the name honey has quite a ring to it, don’t you think?”

hoseok can’t smile any wider holy fuck

“mhm. i couldn’t agree more.”

(seokjin and namjoon arrive later than expected, but seokjin cries as if he was there for the entire thing.)

this. took. so . long. to. upload. but. i . love /. it

+ for visuals and more info please visit here!!

[sunliteuphoria]

urgent!

i don’t really know how to start this and i never thought i’d be making a post like this but times have gotten desperate and this is the last thing i can think about.

i was recently kicked out of a very toxic home by my mom who has emotionally and verbally abused me for 21 years. since then i have been living with a friend and her mom from high school, graciously, for free, and i’ve been battling depression and isolation a lot.

ive recently been told that i had to move out by the 1st of february, which is unfortunately in like 3 days, and i have found a place to live but am coming up short! the place is so nice too, i have the master bedroom and my own bathroom and it has a full kitchen and living room, its like a little townhouse and i was so lucky to find it but this stress is making me really scared. i was so confident in myself and havent been depressed in so long and now things are looking really grim and im not sure what to do.

i just started working two part time jobs after being let go from my other job, but one of my bosses is being shady and she hasnt contacted me in like 3 days which is really making it hard for me to make money. i earn tips through another job and this job pays me more, which is why i’m freaking out because i thought that with the days i was scheduled coming up i’d be able to scrape together the rest of the money i needed. but i havent.

i need $525 for the rent, and currently i have around $300 for sure that I know I have on hand. The other $225 I’m not sure where it’s coming from. I work this weekend and will be making tips, but I also deliver so I won’t be making a lot and I need to buy gas to get to work. 

Honestly I’m not even sure if anyone will see this or reblog it but if you do, please reblog it! it doesn’t hurt to reach out a hand to help someone in need, even if you can only contribute by reposting, that will help me more than anything. 

If you DO want to send me some money, I’m more than willing to make something on photoshop for you, if you’re apart of a community here on tumblr where you need a graphic! they’re not that good but if you want to see what i’ve done you can go here

my venmo is madison-gray-5 and literally anything is appreciated! please help me. 

[noxus-the-venomous-blog]

Part 2.02 KICK THE WORLD FACE

"YOU MOCK MY LAIR?!" Noxus grabbed the man by the collar. "You dare come into my place of dwelling with lll words?!"

"We're really doing this?" Big problem asked with a sigh as he watched his smaller friend building up steam to torment the man in his clutches.

"I will reach inside of your meager brain."

"Yeah now I know we're definitely doing this." BP sat down, awaiting a long monologue.

"And when I'm finish twisting and turning every spark in your meager mentality…"

"Oh come on this is often the funnest part of the day!" Tranquill said to big problem, poking him in his gorilla like shoulders.

"...and when all that's left of your brain is the shallow pleadings of a child's mind you will kiss my boot and beg for me to end your life."

"Dude I'm not even the one who gets to keep the rent money I just collect it. The management decides the when the inspection happens! They only pay me like 50 bucks a month," the young man grumbled, held tight in the rubber fists of Noxious.

“Is it worth your life?” “Fine dude we can do the inspection next week. You need to be on medication bruv,” he remarked as noxious loosened his grip on him.

“The whole world needs to be on medication…” Noxious said slowly as the man walked away. He then turned around to face his audience who was already snickering at him “That was Jeff, the supers assistant. Good kid. So let's get down to business”

“To COMPLETE! The PUN!” Tranquill shouted, smiling widely. Her joke found no success however, in a crowd where one was too old for reference and the other was too uncultured.

“Is this really the place to talk… Private? Like that dude weird girl across the road has been sitting there filming you for the past twenty minutes.” BP pointed across to the set of parallel storage containers on the other side of the lot.

“That's um…. That's my PR TEAM! FOR FILMING PROPAGANDA!”

“YO BIG GUY TAKE OFF YO PANTS!” the woman yelled.

Big Problem shot her a puzzled look. “Lets go to my place Nox. This place smells like raccoons and sadness.”

“You have a place?” Tranquill asked as she grabbed her coat.

“Yeah of course. Do you guys think i only exist in the world to help ya then when i'm done i teleport to another dimension and sit around waiting for you to need help again??” “That would be very useful” Noxious replied.

“SHAZAM!” Tranquill added.

“Well that's not my power. Although i met a guy like that, nice dude, gay as a rainbow on a unicorns butt, now can we go to my place?”

“That's homophobic” Tranquill accused.

“Im quoting the guy, besides i'm a villain, social standards are the laws i’m LEAST worried about breaking.”

“We shall ride to your lair and resume our business there,” decided Noxious, “Um…. we need a ride though.”

“Heh… I'll bring the truck around but you’re going to be a little cramped.”

The truck putted down an empty highway, bellowing black smoke out from its aged, rusted exhaust. It slipped and stumbled in momentum each time Big Problem had to jam the clutch down and shift. The old metal shifter smacking into Noxious’ leg every time the lowest or highest gear was used. Tranquil, leaned in on Noxious’ shoulders affectionately, squishing him closer to BP who already took up most of the truck.

“Ok so we can start talking now. I need to know how seriously you two take this. How focused are you?”

“I take it very seriously,” Tranquill said.

“Well now you do,” Noxious contradicted.

“Well ok sure for the first few months i was pretty sure we were larping but im totally caught up now. I share his passions for this world and this work. I agree with every word of his personal diary.”

BP raised an eyebrow. “You guys share your diaries?”

“Define shaRE-” Noxious was cut off as first gear needed to be used again.

“What you two need is money.”

“We’re not greedy though,” Tranquil rolled down the window slightly, noticing her boyfriend sweating a bit due to his awkward seat status.

“OF COURSE YOU’RE NOT! You’re poor. Greed is a rich man's game. Look you don't have to have a mansion in the hills, but no one accomplishes change in the world without money. I know a guy who works for a place. That's not me being coy that's literally how you refer to his business. Anyway, he can really make the difference for you guys. How do you currently wash your money?”

Noxious spoke up before Tranquill could make a joke, “we basically don't. But we don’t make enough to require it. We have been seeking out some form of fence for jewelry or other valuable things that are easy to sell.”

“That’s adorable. Yeah just sign up at the evil guildhall and they introduce you to ye olde jewelry fence. Look little guy...”

“I AM AVERAGE SIZE!!!”

“That's why you’re sitting in the middle then?” BP says as he rams the shifter into Nox’s leg and slows at a stop sign “Anyway, hear me out. You don't just run around town looking for random junk worth money, you’re a villain not a crackhead. You need to talk to the right people, the ones i'm going to introduce you to, and find out what they would want. Sometimes it’s an object, sometimes it’s a service. Sometimes it might be something right up your alley like gassing someone or making menacing threats.”

Tranquill chimed in, “this is what we need, he makes so many menacing threats for free currently.”

“Exactly. Now if ya find a bar of gold on the ground, or happen upon a car made of diamonds, then sure you bet your ass you take it and just give it to the guy and he’ll give you credit. But nothing compares to what you can make by finding them just what they need at a given time… Ok we’re here.”

The truck pulls up to an old iron security gate. Before them is a long driveway, weaving through clusters of lavish landscaping. He presses a button on the worn out sun visor then shuts it as the fabric nearly tears. The gate in front of them opens and he begins driving through.

“Wait… When… What…” Noxious stuttered, “ARE WE ROBBING SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?!”

“Yeah cause if we were, im wanting you to just scream about it,“ BP joked, “no this is my house, and it's nice to know you seeing it makes you want to rob it. Guess i'm doing a good job with it. Were gonna pull around back, wait, how the hell would i have a gate opener for a place i'm robbing?”

“I don't know…. Stole it ahead of time? Hacked it?” noxious knew he was digging his own grave deeper.

They pulled around to the back of the quite sizable home and into a ramp leading to a parking garage, one story below ground. This presented a stark contrast to the lush gardens they had recently passed. This basement was empty and plain, with a sofa on one wall crowded around a large tv, and a bed across the way on the adjacent wall. BP slowly pulled into a parking spot next to a luxurious looking car.

“See look at this place we have WAY more privacy to talk here. The whole place is sound proof. I'll have Alfred order a pizza and we can start talking about real business.”

“No you have to explain first,” Noxious insisted.

“Explain what?”

“EVERYTHING!”

BP leaned back on the broken tailgate of the truck “Uhhh… So in the beginning there was nothing, then BAM than mars and stars and cows and shit.”

“How about first WHO’S ALFRED?”

“The butler.”

“You have a butler named Alfred?” Tranquill giggled.

“Yeah i thought it would be funny.”

“What would be?” Noxious asked, getting dizzy at all he's had to take in.

“To name my butler Alfred.”

“WAIT YOU NAMED A BUTLER?” Tranquill protested in sheer confusion.

“You guys have a hard time staying on topic.” BP guided them over to the rather homely couch and they each took a seat. “So missy. I'm gonna ask you again. How serious are you about being a criminal.”

The tone of the room became more serious all of a sudden.

“I would follow him wherever he goes. Seriously. Even into the bathroom.”

“She’s like a cat,” added Noxious.

BP interrupted them. “You need to quit your job.”

 Tranq looked at the ground for a moment. “But… My debts. I worked hard to get a job in my field.”

“And you'll never be worse off for it, you'll take those skills with you into whatever you do but do you really wanna be working an office job when the cops show up? You guys have to start living this, it ain't the kinda lifestyle someone does on the weekends. You gotta be done with the nine to five, done with the rented storage shack and done with the BS small time jobs. I want you guys to move your lair in here, i want you guys to start taking jobs with me and get yourselves a proper home. I want you guys to win on this and i'll help but if it's not what you want, what you truly desire, then you gotta walk away before someone gets hurt.”

“This is…. A lot.”

Noxious stepped forward. “My burden of fixing this world is not something i want dragged into.”

BP stood up to outmatch noxious in height if not determination. “You’re not going to get what you want without help.”

A moment went by. The two of them stood in a quiet stillness like an old western movie. The energy seemed aggressive but it felt more compassionate than that. Noxious knew that in this moment BP was not questioning his motive, but instead he's being forced to question it himself.

“I want to quit my job,” Tranquil broke the silence, “I want out of that stupid storage container. I want the neighbor girl to stop whistling when i wash the van. I WANT TO GET RID OF THE VAN! I HATE THE STUPID VAN!”

“I HATE THE VAN TOO!” Noxious matched her energy “I HATE THE STUPID SHIFTER KNOB! It has no button and my thumb sits on the side of it funny.”

“I hate my job. I hate my debt. “

“Even if the button didn't function, it should still be there.”

“I hate all of my co workers. All of them. There's not one redeemable thought made in that building all day. I hate work i hate school and i hate everyone. That’s why i'm here. I want to wreck this world not just live in it.”

“THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT! LET'S KICK THE WORLD IN THE FACE!” BP grabbed a beer.

Noxious moved his hand in a ‘kinda’ gesture. “I'm more on the fixing it side… With gas.”

“YEAH let's tear down society!!!” Tranquill exclaimed.

“I'm like… Chaotic good if anything.”

“LET'S KICK LIFE IN THE BABY MAKER AND MAKE OUR OWN WAY!!!”

Noxious looked at both of them. “Screw it, burn the world down” he said as he reached down for a beer for him and Tranquill. They all clanked cans, BP and Tranq opened and chugged their beers. Noxious paused for a moment, then opened his beer, pulled up his mask and met their pace.

-----------------------supersecretspecialdeletedpatreonexclusivelike&subscribeOVENDING

“He was choking me man. He threatened me!”

“Who?”

“The little gas mask guy. The one from space 25.”

“Oh him. Leave em alone he just talks that way.”

“BUT HE THREATENED TO GAS ME!!”

“Out of everyone in this whole park he's the only one who visits my mom. No clue how they met but she loves the little guy. He's got a big heart. Since he's been around her depression is unnoticeable. She's baking more, laughing more. Seeing her happy and tasting her food again has lifted my spirits too. Leave him be, he makes people happy.”

[kougie]

 tw: animal abuse, neglect, and death

Five years ago I adopted a three month old kitten from the animal shelter.

She almost died within the week we got her from a severe respiratory illness.

After we treated her she grew up to be a healthy, beautiful cat with a lot of personality. Very communicative. Very affectionate. If she wanted your attention she’d come up and stand on her back legs and streeeeeetch out so she can stand up as tall as she could against you and meow at you until you pet her.

Two and a half years ago, we had person move in and rent our spare room.

The cat, while she was definitely a loving house cat, grew attached to this new person more than any of the rest of us, and they adored her as well. The cat would get depressed when they’d leave for a weekend, and would wait for them to get home from work every night before following them around meowing.

The cat loved this person, so when it came time for said person to move, the household reluctantly (if any of you know anything about me- I love my animals and they are all incredibly important to me and I ) agreed to allow them to take the cat to their new place, since there would be someone home all the time for her, and she adored being the only pet in the house and being pampered.

Moving day comes, they take her and drive three hours North. When they get home they let her out on the back porch and she immediately escapes, bolting off.

Now, the person who took her made flyers, posters, talked to neighbors, looked for a while, but after a week or two it became too much of an inconvenience to actually go walk around outside and look for the cat every night.

They repeatedly told us that she was hanging around, just being flighty, and that they were feeding her every day. That was a lie.

We got a call two months after the fact- she was in fact hanging around the entire time, but there’s no way this person was feeding her like they said.

The cat eventually approached an older couple not far from my ex-roommates house because she was almost dead. Starved. They took her to a vet who found her microchip info and called us.

The cat we picked up from the vet wasn’t the same cat we adopted out. When she left she was thirteen pounds, soft, talkative, and intelligent.

She was a six pound skeleton having severe seizures when we picked her up at the vet. It’s literally been a record breaking summer and this house cat was left out on her own.

I sent ex-roommate a text about what deplorable condition the cat was in, only to be met with “Don’t tell me I didn’t put effort into looking I gave flyers to all the neighbors. Besides, i told you guys you could have her back if you wanted her. She’s obviously not happy here.”

We’ve spent the last few weeks trying to bring her back to health, vet visits, medicine, intensive care diets, and while she’s gaining weight, she’s not a cat anymore, really.

She’s lost all control of her digestive functions, she’ll defecate where she’s sleeping and eating and lay in it. She doesn’t understand a litterbox or any designated bathroom areas anymore, and will just use the bathroom as she’s walking around the house.

She’ll eat anything. Everything. She went from being a persnickety cat who had to have specific brands of food because she was snooty, to.. Trying to swallow huge pieces of dog kibble whole until she is full to vomiting. Then, she’ll vomit, and go back to eating. (We dont allow her to do this, of course, but she would if we weren’t supervising her.) She has multiple seizures every day, constant, unrelenting. Her eyes don’t react to light, she seems to be totally blind in one eye, if she can see at all. She spins in circles. She cant run or jump or play anymore. She screams and yowls at you if you pet her now- vet says its not pain it’s just brain damage.

I sent this cat off thinking she’d have an amazing, loving home that cared for her and that she could be the only pet, queen of the household, getting ALL the attention and treats and love.

She got nothing but pure negligence,  her brain is so severely damaged that her quality of life will never improve from “barely aware of her surroundings, covered in her own pee”

The person we adopted her out to spent their nights in World of Warcraft instead of out looking for this living animal that depended on them. They bold face lied about putting food out and making sure she comes to eat.

Not even a feral stray cat loses 80% of its bodyweight in two months if you put some kibble out for it.

She’s being put down soon. Her brain damage is irreversible and her quality of life is awful, barely being able to function, run, play, eat, or do anything cats do.

Idk why im putting this here, it’s late, and Im tired and devastated about having to make the decision to euthanize my cat.

Still got a week/a few days or whatever. We’re not ready to make an appointment just yet, but it’s approaching. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.

I’m gonna miss you, Cupcake

[alitoowell]

One year—365 days—and still I cannot find the words to do justice to the magnitude of gratitude that I feel, and will forever feel, for the magic that was October 22, 2017.  It’s funny because meeting Taylor was always in my mind as a possibility.  In that people DO meet her, so it’s possible.  But I always viewed it as possible, yet unachievable.  People would meet her, but they wouldn’t be ME.  Simply because the odds were too great of being noticed or picked from a crowd.  So I never planned out how it would go, or where, or what I would say, which left me even more absolutely floored when it happened.  Even a year later my brain cannot quite wrap around the fact that the woman who I’ve looked up to since I was 15, who’s music has been the soundtrack to my life for an entire decade, had me over at her house?  I got to hug her?  Dance with her?  And listen to her entire unreleased album and the stories behind it?  That seems unbelievable.  And it will always seem unbelievable because people. don’t. do. that.  But Taylor does.  My friends have been encouraging me for a whole year straight to type everything out, and I never quite got there.  The task seemed too great, I didn’t know where to start, or what words to choose to capture those memories adequately.  In one of those moments of frustration I realized I actually already had written nearly everything—in the no less than 63 messages I sent to my best friend Shaina less than 24 hours later on October 23, 2017.  Though it’s jumbled and not perfect in any way and contains the misspellings and keyboard smashes and all, here’s my Taylor story, a year later, as told the day after it happened—in message form.

~

I MET TAYLOR SWIFT SHDJEKJDKROF

I CANNOT BELIEVE MY LIFE

I HAVEN’T CRIED YET BUT ITS 4 AM AND I THINK ITS FINALLY HITTINGME

photo of wristband

SHE FUCKING DANCED WITH ME DURING LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO LIKE GRABBED MY HAND AND JAMMED WITH ME AS I WAS SHOUTING THE LYRICS GOODBYEEEEEEE

photo of merch

GOODBYEEEEEEEEE

Shaina: You’re lying

IM NOY IM NOT OH MY FOD OH MY FREAKINF GOD

PARKER THOUGHT I WAS DRUNK OF SOMETHING CUZ I WAS SHOUTING VIA TEXT ASKING IF HE WAS UP HOLT SHIT

Shaina: Ok. Spill. I’m shook.

Okay okay so I’m literally about ready to pass out I haven’t slept well since finding out last week and legit got two hours of afterwards last night, well this morning ahhh

And about to board my flight but I’ll try to type quick

So basically her team DMed me last Tuesday saying they’ve noticed what an amazing fan I am and asked for my information

And people have been making fake TN accounts and sending fake messages to be awful, and I thought it was fake because I never expected to ever be contacted

So I’m like in the gym parking lot thank god I didn’t see it while I was still at work

And I realize it has a blue verified check and that it’s legitimate and the last questions was have you ever met Taylor and I LOSE MY SHIT IM IN HYSTERICS IN THE CAR AND CALL MY MOM AND SHE THINKS I GOT IN AN ACCIDENT

So basically I’m a freaking ass mess because I’m 99% it’s for a secret session since at that point one had happened and we all assumed that there would be more cities, and I was almost positive they would NOT send that message to someone and not follow through and call and tell them SOMETHING

So I can’t sleep I leave my phone on cuz I don’t want to miss a call

It of course doesn’t come til the next day while I’m AT WORK

And they freaking ass knew my twitter and tumblr and asked for all my socials and I now know the people I talked to weren’t asked that so that’s weirddddd

Anyway so sure as hell it’s a ‘very special event’ and it’s all too secret and I can’t tell anyone except a parent for safety

And once I confirm I can get myself to LA she gives some instructions and said final details will be emailed  

And so that was Wednesday and I’m crying at work and their dinner was late lol

And I called my mom and was like this weekend Sunday book flights nowwwww

And then the quick version is for the next two days I was practically puking every day so nervous and the email wasn’t coming and I was like shitttttt

So finally on Friday I straight up call Taylor Nation back and get straight through and say my name and she’s like what’s up?! And she says they’re coming out later that day

And so I flew down Saturday and I rented my very first car and took my first legit solo trip in the name of Taylor freaking swift honestly I’m not surprised

And bless Briana’s fam’s heart they were out of town but let me stay in their guest apartment while they were away with no explanation so that was very nice and less stress for me

And then I had to sit from 3:30 Saturday until 5:15 Sunday in LA by myself unable to tell anyone and it was wilddddddd

Like I was like sweeeeeet I can get caught up in my journal!!!  Noooo I deadass sat there and felt like I was dying and about threw up hourly like how the freaking hell do you just casually chill when you know your damn outlandish never thought it would occur dream is about to happen and not only that but like on a times 100 scale?!?!

So basically I went to her damn house and we hung out by the pool and ate food and the weirdest part is I’ve been unable to eat and have been panicking all week but the second I got to the first check point and to her house even more I was just like chillllll like ayeeeee this is gonna be fun omg I’m so hungry and let’s eat all this food

And so basically it’s a listening session for the new album and we obviously can’t say anything about it or what she said about it besides like probs that it’s AWESOME OUTSTANDING IS GONNA SLAY THE WORLD AND SHES SO LROUD OF IT AND MY BABY DID THAT AND IM REAL PROUD

Okay okay but she like explained each song in-depth and was the cutest cupcake singing along fully jamming to everything and like looking at everyone the entire time and locking eyes as she’s singing ya feel

My flight is about to leave but I will continue later!!!!!

Shaina: This is insane I can’t believe it I’m beyond stoked for you safe travels and talk soon

Okay we not leaving quite yet sooooo I’m missing parts. So we are told we’re gonna go inside and sit down and I book it fast to get a spot on the ground like only two people sitting in front of me and there’s a red plush chair not even 10 feet away that she’ll obviously be sitting in and we’re all like sjedjekkdir

And I was wondering who all I would know there right!?? And was bummed there’s one girl I talk to frequently who loves Shawn Mendes and we know each other cuz she saw my Shawn poster on twitter and she’s from LA but I hadn’t seen her

And then someone pokes me and is like ALIIIIIIII AND ITS HER AND WE FLIP AND SXREAM SO LOUD THE WHOLE ROOM THOUGHT IT WAS TAY AND WAS PISSSSSSED AND SHUSHING US AND SOMEONES LIKE THEY KNOW EACH OTHER!!!!! HAHAHAHA

Shaina: This just keeps getting better and better. How did you keep this a secret?!?!?!?

Shaina: How many people were there

AND SO ANYWAY WE ALL THOUGHT TAYLOR WAS GONNA COME IN FROM THE FRONT AND SIT RIGHT DOWN??? AND ON THE BUS SOMEONE WAS LIKE YOOOOO WHAT IF SINCE TONIGHT IT’S IN LA SHE BRINGS FRIENDS????? AND SO SHE OF COURSE INSTEAD COMES FROM THE BACL AND THE DAMN ROOM EXPLODES AND SHE LOOKS LIKE A DAMN GODWESS AND SHE’S LIKE HIIIIIIIII AND GRINNING AND ALSO COMES IN JACK ANTANOF (SPELLING IDK IM CURRENTLY OFFLINE SO I CANT CHECK), TWO OF THE HAIM GIRLS, AND RUBY ROSE AND THE ROOM IS LIKE SHATTERING

AND SO SINCE SHE IN THE BACK SHE STARTS MAKING HER WAY THROUGHHHHHH US AND IS GRABBING PEOPLE AND PEOPLE ARE STANDING UP AND HUGGING HER AND HOLY CRAP

Okay lololol shoot I just woke up and didn’t realize the rest of this story was notttt in constant caps like I’ve been using all day my bad my bad

And so she’s playing the songs in order off the album and I think it’s okay to say that her and jack are losing their minds because they’ve never gotten to experience our reaction to new stuff they’ve worked on when they’re together, and definitely not together and in person, so she kept being like this is so cool for us you have no idea and he’s in the back confirming lololol

And so anyway she gets to Look What You Made me Do and she’s like soooo how do we want to do this??? Do we want to keep sitting do we want to dance…??? And we’re all like DANCEEEEEE SHDHIEOKRKR and shes like okayyyy we’re dancing and Shaina this is deadass like straight out of a dream.  Actually wait no I couldn’t have imagined this, but she starts and I was anticipating part of this but not the whole thing…

So she obviously doesn’t just have us bopping along and staying and dancing on her own up front… she starts making her way into our basically tiny crowd and we’re so packed together that she’s grabbing people’s hands so she doesn’t fall as she goes. And she’s stopping and dancing with people and stops and stays dancing like staring at one guy and he’s going for it and not afraid and singing the lyrics dramatically right back to her….

And then she makes her way towards and wait for it

GRABS MY DAMN HAND AS SHE’S TRYING TO GET FARTHER INTO THE MIDDLE AND I’M LIKE OKAY OKAY JUST CHILL SHE JUST GRABBED MY HAND NO BIGGIE AND IM LIKE SHES GONNA KEEP WALKING LIKE THAT WAS MY MOMENT RIGBT?!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOO SHE STOPS THERE ONCE SHES BY ME AND IS DANCING WITH THE PEOPLE THAT ARE AROUND HER BUT HER BACK IS TO ME AT THIS POINT BUT IM STILL LIKE HOLY SHIT WHAT IS LIFE AND THEN SHE FREAKING ASS TURNS THE HELL AROUND AND IS DANCING! WITH! ME! LIKE! SHES! LOOKING! AT! ME! AND IM LIKE JAMMING OF COURSE AND SCREAMING THE LYRICS AND I LITERALLT DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN

And then Vanessa (my Shawn buddy) at this point has scooted up to me cuz everyone’s shifted and the people around me are like dude holy shit SHE DANCED WITH YOUUUUU

BYEEEEEEEEEEEE

Okay okay so after the whole album was played she gave us like the lowdown on the meet and greet portion and she passed out the target exclusive magazines for us to see while we waited and talked a bit about the making of them and why and things and she’s really pumped about them and they worked really hard to have them be affordable as possible and cut down the pages and things

And meanwhile like the whole night she’s so close that people would make comments and she’d hear and respond and it was so cute and amazing

Also I don’t think I’ve mentioned her outfit yet???  She’s been looking bomb at all of the other sessions and holy helllll she looked bomb like damnnnnnnnn she had on a black crop top and these high waisted and slightly folded down camouflage pants and these black boots and her hairrrrrrr this era is like natural curls and soooo damn cute

Okay okay so anyway we thought it was a greattttt idea to wait towards the end so we could stay longer and not go first and be done and sent home… yeah well it ended up being a not great idea because we ended up waiting two hours but I’m obviously not complaining one freaking bit

And she’s doing pictures in the other room so we can’t really see much for most of it but every so often we can see people talking to her and taking photos and it’s so cute it’d melt your hearttttttt

And so those of us that have bonded together at this point are like um shoooooot what pose and what the hell do I say to her??????? Like all week to my parents I was like ummmmm soooooo I’ve imagined this happening but like never thought it’d actually happen so unlike some people I had nottttt planned like a monologue of what I’d want her to know if I ever met her???? Like with Vance I was lost too but with my posters it was easier and I’ve seen him recently and yada yada but this is TAYLOR FREAKING SWIFT WHO IVE LOVED WITH MY WHOLE DAMN HEART SINCE I WAS FIFTEEN AND SHIT IM TEARING UP ON THE PLANE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU SAY TO HER WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO KNOW YOU’VE GOT LIKE TWO MINUTES WITH HER GOOOOO

And so we were all really curious if she’d somehow recognize us because people have been saying that they walk in and she shouted their name! And I’m like idk if that’s gonna happen but might as well see if not just ask if she’s seen anything idk idk???

So okay buckle up for like the greatest time of my entire damn life

So I walk in and hug herrrrrrrrrrrrr

And I wish to god I can remember everything she said but I was focusing so hard on keeping it together and saying my bit that I know for sure what I said and can put together mostly something the general sentiment of what she said if not it exactly. So we’re huggingggg and I say I think hiiiii it’s so nice to finally meet you thank you for having me I’m so excited to be here or something and she’s like awww thank you for coming!! And I’m like I have to know how did we all get picked, was it by you or your team or how did it happen?? And I don’t know what the first part of her answer was but she says so the people from LA have been picked for about a year, and the people from elsewhere (I’m guessing with exceptions) have been picked more recently like within the past few months so like now I know it has nothingggg to do with whatever we’ve been doing online recently…. It’s from at least when she first came back if not before and they realized we were active while she was away….

And so I’m like okay ali say something else so I’m like so I really like making concert posters and the first ones I ever made were for you and shes like aw thank you!! And I’m like I realized other people were making posters and I’d been a RA and I was like hey I can make some really bomb posters tooooo. And so I’m like the fist ones said ‘Taylor someday we’ll meet you even if it’s just in our wildest dreams’ and she grabs me and is like AND NOW WE’RE MAKING IT HAPPEN!!! And so I say after I got the phone call I was in my car listening to Ready For It and started bawling when she sings ‘in my dreams, I know I’m gonna be with you’ cuz I knew it was actually happening and shes like awwwwwww or something you get the idea

And so then I straight up start talking about my dad???

I’m like so my dad loves you and she’s like omg and I’m like no he adoresss youuu and is so sad he couldn’t come and she’s like awww tell him hi!!! And I’m like he loves your Out of the Woods piano Grammy performance and I say how I’d found him listening to it repeatedly and he wanted it on his phone. And she’s like he sounds amazing! And I’m like he is he’s awesome lol and I’m like actually and so him and I went and saw you at F1 last year and of course I’m like and I made signs for there too and so I describe them IN DETAIL like what they said, I realized later I told her I was from Oregon, because I said they were the states and the dotted line and the paper airplane and I think she really liked that??? And as if that all isn’t already insane enough at some point in there I mentioned how this month has been insane and how I’d met Vance Joy and it was my birthday and now this and she said something excitedly about that like ahhh so much excitement or idk something about it. And so she’s like so what pose would you like to do? And I’m like I’ve really been going back and forth between just hugging or doing something sort of funny (low key said that hoping she’d be like girl let’s do both but lololol it’s okay) so she’s like it’s completely up to you!! And I’m like um um okay let’s just hug so she grabs me and we take the freaking photo and ahhhhhhhh

And so Vanessa and I had it planned out and she had me go first and at this point I was like would it be okay if my friend and I got a photo with you together and she’s like of course!! So V comes in and hugs her and we take one photo together and she squeezes us together tight and then I hug her one last time and thank her and say I love you so much (lol I had to throw it in other people forgot it and have been upset) and then I walk out and they hand me my merch bag and are directing me to the bus but I’m like can I wait for my friend and they’re like sure. So she comes out and she’s like SHE KNEW MY NAME SHSJEKOFN and she’s like yelling and I’m like shut up and I grab her and I’m like shhh shhhhh hahahaha and so we walk to the bus and it’s the funniest thing cuz they’re just waiting for it to be full so anytime someone new walks on everyone’s like SPILLLLLLLLL

And then once it was full we went back got our things, exchanged details with people on that bus and took photos and whatnot and turned our phones on to the madness anddddddd so well thats the story of the best damn day of my life

~

Taylor, thank you thank you thank for giving me such incredible memories that I’ve blown up the phones of every person I know, and have talked every person’s ears off that I’ve met during these past 365 days, about how special they are to me.  Thank you for making it happen, thank you for holding my gaze so intently and being so genuine every second I was talking to you, thank you for bringing me some of the best friends I’ve ever had, thank you for being so prominent in the highlights of not only this past year, but this past decade.  I love you forever, babe.  Long, long live October 22, 2017.

[ch-sy]

It's taken me like 6 years to realize that some men just really ain't shit

I haven't been able to talk about this to anyone in my RL about this because of my social circle and knowing it would cause a bad situation to spiral out worse but I gotta go off sis..

So, almost like 2 years ago I was living in a rented house with my boyfriend and our two roommates (who were also guys.) ONE of these roommates was really chill and like, minded his own business and didn't cause any shit or anything. My boyfriend and I were really comfortable living with him pretty much right off. But the 2nd one was literally one of the most twisted, conniving motherfuckers I have ever had the misfortune of crossing paths with in my entire life. Just for starters, we didn't know this guy had killed someone before. A really long story short, his house had been broken into before because someone found out he had a safe in it with like 10k stashed. So they tried robbing him in the middle of the night-- he winded up shooting one of them and killing the guy. Anyways, we didn't know about this until like 3 months after he had moved in.. well.. then he started acting really nice toward me and from my boyfriend's perspective on things, started either giving him the cold shoulder or he would almost be fakely nice to him.

This motherfucker spent like almost 5 months trying to drive a wedge between me and my boyfriend, he tried to get me fucked up on ecstasy when we went on a beach trip to try and take advantage of me while my boyfriend wasn't there because he was working all weekend. Once he realized he couldn't get me he literally got together with one of my BEST FRIENDS and coworkers to try and piss me off (it worked, but only because by then I knew exactly what he was doing and even tried warning her that he was.) She didn't listen, and once he realized that he wasn't getting to me he started treating her terrible and cheated on her cause he's a real winner. By the end of things, my boyfriend and I decided the living situation was entirely too toxic and we broke our lease just to get away from him. The scumbag waited until my boyfriend wasn't home one day working and I was off to have his friend come over and help him pack his shit up, while they were in his room lowkey yelling about shooting all of us over it. We got out of the house and thankfully, we haven't seen shitstick again. Thank u, next

So NOW.. we're in a living situation with my boyfriend's co-worker, who at first- once again, seemed really chill mind you. I met his wife long before we moved in and we all got along really well, I thought it would be nice to live with another chick too.. whatever.

Over the past few weeks, his wife and I have gotten really close with each other so she's started opening up to me when talking about things. She told me that she's never been in a situation where her husband acts so cruel and distant to her. That he's changed a lot just over the past few weeks--like so much to the point she says he's a completely different person and it's getting so bad that she's starting to want a divorce. She's starting to resent him for it.

New Year's this year, he got entirely too wasted and shoved her into the dirt out in our yard. Two guys who were over here got pissed and one of them swung on him for it (because you don't lay your hands on a female like that, especially not your wife?) Our roommate proceeded to call her his bitch while he was trying to fight these two friends of his (that are no longer his friend's after this incident, mind you.) It was a really fucked up night. I winded up threatening him and telling him if he ever hurt her again that I would do it to him and it was going to be 1000 times worse and had to console her to calm her down for like an hour.

He started acting right again for like a week, after that and then went back to treating his wife like shit. And me and her are really close now so everytime I see her upset over the shit he does, I get pissed off..

Something registered the other day from the incident with our first shitty roommate and I've started picking up on some things:

1. He didn't start acting this way until after we moved in (she's somewhat noticed this- my boyfriend has noticed this and thinks if we have anything to do with it, its that our roomie is jealous of our relationship because honestly we really do have an extremely stable one) like, for example: I get kinda annoyed when my boyfriend has to work late. I was never like that before but I'm 6 months pregnant and so, like.. I need him around more than ever right now. He's understanding of this and so a lot of the time when I ask for him to come home, he does. Our roommate came in one day after this happened and was like "how come it's that she gets mad when her man isn't home but mine doesn't give a shit- what is that?" And we just kinda laughed it off because I figured he was just making fun of me for bitching.. but like, he does it all the time and I've picked up on it a lot more.

He's constantly comparing me and his wife, he came in one day long before my boyfriend got off work because my boyfriend is a foreman so he usually has to stay later than the others, and was like "there's a bunch of beautiful women in MY house" and it kinda rubbed me wrong when he said it, but once again, I wrote it off as nothing.

By now, our roommate and his wife are fighting almost every night. He's started refusing to take care of their 7 month old child unless she bitches him out to or begs him to (and--that's your fucking child bro, nobody should have to beg you to take care of your little girl.) He's been lowkey doing things to like, assert his dominance over his wifw I guess. It's really fucked up, like one day me and my boyfriend were gonna drop her off at work cause her car is broke and a lot of the time she has to walk.. and one day when we offered, he winded up calling us to be like "im home now so don't worry about taking her, I got it" and then PROCEEDED TO MAKE HER WALK TO WORK CAUSE "IT WAS A NICE DAY" girl I wanted to punch him in his face right then once I found out. To top this all off, she thinks he might be cheating now.

It's just collectively a bunch of shit that can't be ignored and I don't know how to deal with it. It's not my relationship but it's starting to affect me and my boyfriend's because they work together and our roommate has been doing so much fucked up shit lately (and seeing how he treats his wife) makes me paranoid about my boyfriend even being around him. Not because I don't trust him, but because I don't trust our roommate anymore.

And now I'm highkey wondering if he's got some sort of bullshit thing for me because of what's happened before. It's like weird flex but ok but I'm being serious.

I don't know if I should tell my boyfriend that I think it might be a possibility and we need to move out or not. It's a catch 22 because I could tell him and possibly ruin their friendship and work relationship (maybe for just being paranoid) or I could just not say anything, wait it out and possibly allow my friend's relationship to deteriorate. I know it's not really my problem and regardless of any of it--if he's that kind of person, it won't last anyway because he's a shithead and his true colors are coming out..

Either way, this entire situation has got me stressed out as fuck, I don't feel comfortable living here anymore and I'm pregnant and shouldn't be dealing with anymore stress than I already have to. I dont know what to do or I'm supposed to do cause..

[ressieking]

quarantine :(

I found out I have covid and I have been quarantined for one day

im not surprise, my mom had covid and she really didn't quarantine well because its she's like allergic to just staying put for 5 days.

5 days is when you are no longer contagious.

I can't put all the blame on her though, I made mistakes too like still going in the room to shower even though my room has a shower. I just didn't want to deal with my roommate catching an attitude every time I went in there.

speaking of that, covid also messed up my plans because this week I was going to ask for my room back.

so the way them staying here is set up right now is that we stay in my mom's house because she works in other city for majority of the week, my roommate stays in my room and im in my mom's room. when my mom comes home for like weekends or long breaks, I or my mom go on the couch. usually its me.

well, im starting college and I want my room back. I don't want to have to move back and forth from couch to room every week, my mom said that she'll just start staying on the couch but that's not fair to my mom because she literally pays the rent and my half of bills till my living money starts to come in.

I also want my desk. my mom's room doesn't have a desk however we have one downstairs but it's not MY desk. I also don't like working in synthetic lighting because it hurts my eyes and downstairs has basically no outside lighting. my room does, it actually has great lighting. which is also good for filming because my friend and I are starting to do visuals for our podcast and need better lighting.

I don't want to share the bathroom with my mom anymore there's no reason truly but I just liked my setup more than my mom's. I miss my closet too, my grandpa tore down a wall that separated my two small closets so now I have a pretty long, decent-sized closet. in my mom's room I have one small closet, one drawer, and all my shoes are in a basket so I can't even see all my shoes.

I don't know I just want my space back because right now I feel like all my stuff is just everywhere.

I also feel like if they go on the couch it will push them to find somewhere for them to live. they told me last time they had to pay their half of the bills that after they paid they only had like $70 left. they had already lived in the house for 2 months and they didn't pay the first month, they should've had way more than that left after rent... you know? but they told me recently that they were bad with money, they should have told me that before. they probably didn't because they know I won't have invited them to stay and I wouldn't have.

I wish I could say I felt bad but like I really don't think they are a good roommate. that was not the the point of this post though.

like I said school is about to start and I get out quarantine is the day before classes start so I have 5 days to get ready. the day im out im going to my campus and look to see where my classes are. all my classes are on Tuesday and Thursday and my first 3 classes are 10 minutes apart form each other. I want to make sure I can get to my classes on time.

that's all for now I guess.