#Like listen I have my problems w this country

[cute-as-buttons]

76 YEARS AND WE'RE STILL GOING!!!!!

[poetka]

Why is it such a shitstorm of a day today... so fucking draining and none of it has anything to do with me personally

[weneeya]

Toji/choso with tall reader!!!

I’m 5’7 in an Asian country and I’m taller than my friends boyfriends 😔😔😔

tall girlfriend w/ jjk men m.list | rules

note. thank u for ur request! I took the right to add some other of the boys, I hope you don't mind <3 requests are still open!

Gojo Satoru 

LOVES IT

love getting babying so tall girlfriend is top tier for him

prouder about your height than yourself

You were helping Maki and Inumaki with some training, monitoring them for a few steps away on the ground. Your arms were crossed and you were focused on their movements, nothing else. Until you heard a voice you knew by heart. 

Satoru arrived from behind you, but he quickly came to face you. He didn’t give you the time to react before he cuddled against your chest, his arms around your waist. He had a huge smile, and you sighed slightly. He really had no shame. 

“How’s my beautiful girl doing?” Your fingers ran through his white hair, and you couldn’t help but to smile slightly. You answered, and he only listened with one ear, too busy with hiding between your arms. He loved to feel that he wasn’t so tall next to you ; because he could be such a little spoon as much as he wanted to. 

Geto Suguru

legs legs legs

he adores you and your height 

when you wear heels? even better

Suguru was waiting for you, next to a coffee shop. You had a date, and he arrived too early. He was simply looking around, waiting for you to arrive. Which happened faster than expected. 

When he saw you from afar, he felt his heart pounding in his chest. You were wearing his favorite heels, with a flower dress that made you look so adorable. His gaze didn’t hesitate before lingering on your legs, and a slight smile appeared on his lips. 

You arrived closer to him, and he didn’t hesitate before grabbing your hip to pull you closer to him. He left a kiss on your cheek, almost whispering onto your ear. “The prettiest flower I’ve ever seen,” he said, and you felt your cheeks burning slightly. Soft words, soft touches ; it was all Suguru. 

Both of you peacefully sat at the coffee shop, and he insisted on sitting next to you instead of in front of you. You weren’t stupid ; and your thoughts were confirmed when he spent the whole afternoon with his hands on your thigh, his gaze not leaving you. 

Nanami Kento

doesn’t really care about it, loves you as you are 

tall, small, chubby, skinny ; it doesn’t matter to him 

if you’re insecure about it, he would reassure you in a second

You always felt too tall. All your friends were cute and small, having taller boyfriends ; when you were almost as tall as Kento. Sometimes, you were scared that he felt shameful about your height, and it broke your heart. 

You were sitting on the couch, and Kento was next to you, reading a book. The room was silent, until you broke it with a soft and hesitant voice. 

“Kento? Do you think I would look prettier if I was smaller?” You asked, looking at the man next to you. He raised his eyes from his book, looking in your direction with an eyebrow raised. 

“How could you be prettier?” He asked genuinely, and you almost thought he was messing with you. You tried to express your thoughts, and he stopped you with a slight sigh, putting his book to the side. 

“I don’t care about your height, my love. You’re beautiful, and you couldn’t even be more than this.” You felt the tears at the corner of your eyes. Kento wasn’t the type to talk about those things too frequently, but he was never hesitating when it was about comforting you. You really were lucky. 

Toji Fushiguro

more than okay with it 

no matter what, he would treat like like you’re small, because he’s huge

you never felt smaller than with him

All your previous boyfriends had a problem with your height, or else they were smaller and they loved to be babied by you. But because of how tall you were, you never had the chance to be the one to feel small between strong arms. Until you met Toji. 

Not only was the man huge, but he also wasn’t the type to want to feel small. He didn’t care about how tall you could be ; you were his girl, and his girl needed to be held between his arms. 

You were with some friends, or at least girls you tried to consider as friends no matter what they were doing to you. One of them was making fun of you because of your height, telling you that no boy would want you like this. 

Toji decided to come grab you after his work today, as he finished earlier than usual. So when he heard those words, an idea came to his mind. He arrived next to you, putting an arm around your waist and leaving a kiss on your temple. 

“Hi girlie,” he said, and you looked at him with wide eyes. He was the one who wanted to keep your relationship secret, so what was he doing? You didn’t have the time to answer, as he spoke again but to your ‘friend’ now. 

“Had a problem with my girlfriend?” The girl almost choked on her own breath, before clearing her throat. She quickly found an excuse to leave with her friends, leaving you and Toji alone. He grinned with no shame, and you looked at him with a little smile. 

Choso

didn’t even realized how tall you are before Yuuji told him 

doesn’t had the feeling that he need to protect you because you look like a child

looking so powerful from your height, make him go crazy

You weren’t doing anything special when Choso arrived, almost running and jumping on you. He stopped in front of you, his hands holding yours as he seemed to be scanning your whole body. 

“Choso? Are you okay?” You asked, and he quickly looked into your eyes. “Yuuji was right, you’re tall!” He said, and you stayed silent for a second, processing what he just said. 

When you started to laugh, he didn’t understand. He looked at you with a lost look, and you simply kept laughing softly. He really never realized your height before? How was it even possible? 

“Choso, sweetheart ; are you serious?” He didn’t understand your question. Of course he was serious! You were almost as tall as him, and he never really cared about it before. But now that he knew it, he was sure of one thing : it made you even prettier.

I'm not so sure about this one, I'm not very tall myself so I'm sorry if it's not as good as you expected :(

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏🙏 YOUR DSB PLAYLIST!!! I keep seeing u talk about it and you have BANGERS on that pl

I think I have shared it before but back when I was only on like chapter 2 so its been buried and has changed ALOT- But here you go!!

Full list (and notes)

Oh No! (Tims "Grand plan")

Flight of the Crows (Running away from what he loves, of course)

Nobody (Self imposed curse of isolation)

Colors (Yes. (also just a fav tim song regardless of AU)

United in grief ( Acting as Timothy Drake)

Teen Idle (Mourning his youth, for a second time)

Gasoline (Tim breakdown in luxury vibes)

I cant fix you (I still religiously listen to fnaf fan songs, this one just fits)

Brother (MY COUNTRY ASS SNUCK IN- It doesnt even relate to the AU, I just love the vibe- if anything it fitd Dick towards Jason but thats besides the point)

Passing through (cant the future just wait) (Times running out)

Are you Satisfied? (Literally perfect song about his situation)

Look who's inside again (Again, Isolation)

Coffee (Internal struggle- but the caffine isnt the problem)

Digital Silence (Again, just in here for the vibes)

Over & Over (AMAZING imagining song, like a little movie)

Problems (Tim to Jason)

Oh Ana (Not even kidding, THE MOVIE song- (from breathing as tim bleeds out to the The Angel I couldnt kill just AHH)

Rat (Just a vibe)

Lotta True Crime (Not for Tim actually, but related)

Misery Meat (Mans is the rainbow fish)

Feel Better (Y E A H- No explination needed)

Arms Tonight (This but literally, though he wont admit it)

The Burning pile (Tim ignoring his problems for the "greater good")

Family Jewels (The Drakes.)

Devil Town (Life in Gotham, reminishing his Time as Robin w/ his old fam)

Hermit the Frog (Another "just a vibe")

Michelle (Not for Tim, but relevent :)

Girls (The horror in being Timothy)

Saint Bernard (THIS- THIS THIS THIS (literally so mmmm lore))(might make a PMV when the fic is finished just for THIS!!)

Washing Machine Heart (A vibe.)

The Bidding (Timothy but less ironically)

Seventeen (Tim and Timothy- also just "seventeen" when he died s o)

Cupid (He still loves them...)

Hidden in the sand (Memories.)

dumb dumb (Tim pulling off his shit, mostly Cardinal)

American Healthcare (glitzy) (Tim in his career)

Treehouse (STAY OFF MY LAWN!!!)

Worlds greatest actor (Rec by @ihavenotsleptindays my dear, and its perfect. Tim as Timothy, or are they one in the same??)

Rule #34 (Not for Tim, but TOO him :)

Harpy Hare (Im obsessed okay?)

Prom Queen (Beautiful tragedy all the people envy)

No place like home (Not what it seems)

Again & Again (Another "movie in my mind") song

Labryinth (Movie mind!! Lots of lore and distortion lol)

Youth (Tim being self aware, for once)

Just one Yesterday (YES YES YES YES)

Angry too (Just a vibe.)

Pompeii (He misses what things can never again be)

spy? (Two face.)

Lullaby of the False Hydra ( Once again, im obsessed but for diff reasons)

Sweet Hibuscus tea (GAHHH)

Lights out (Hype song- and Cardinal BAMF)

Nothings New (Tim repeating his whole life and yet failing all over again)

Little Lion man (He wasnt really doomed wasnt he?)

Guilded Lily (The awnser is no, its never enough)

Underground (Once again, Gotham.)

Cast the Bronze (More a canon Jason song actually, but I still adore)

Could Have been me (Not Tim :)

Savior (Duet- but with who??)

Take me home, country roads (The country got me again. And yeah Tim longing for home he lost)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making my mom’s boyfriend feel bad on purpose?

disclaimer: my parents have an open marriage

so i (20m, northern cheyenne) don’t have a problem with the modern celebration of thanksgiving.

really. i don’t.

the whole “pilgrims and indians” schtick is gross, but i find that generally, outside of elementary schools, nobody thinks about that part very much. people mostly just want to see their families and eat weird food. and i fucks w that.

the problem comes in with my mom’s boyfriend.

my mom (52f) is white, but she’s been married to my dad (53m) who is also northern cheyenne for 26 years. she’s the DEI coordinator for our county’s public school system and she’s one of my favorite most trusted shire people ever. so i never really have to censor myself around her. i can make jokes and complain and vent and etc etc etc. she’ll always listen.

her BOYFRIEND though.

i really do like my mom’s boyfriend (41m). he’s super cool, recommends good books, teaches me about plumbing, all sorts of other Manly Step Dad Shit (/hj).

but he is decidedly extremely caucasian. like so white.

he’s not /racist/ but he’s that in-between that a lot of white people are where they’re never mean, but you gotta watch what you say around them bc they bruise like a two week old apple.

there have been a few instances where i have in fact bruised his sensitive white man apple skin.

1) i was listening to a podcast with my mom about people indigenous to Hawai’i protecting Mauna Kea. we were listening to it out loud in our living room, and her boyfriend came in and listened for a few minutes before asking me to turn it off because it was “depressing”. fair enough. i figured he was having a rough day and i turned it off. (side note, it was All My Relations, “For the Love of the Mauna”.)

2) we were driving somewhere and trading off command of the AUX. i put on a song by Nahko and Medicine for the People, specifically their parody of “My Country Tis of Thee”. he again said he didn’t like it, it was depressing, and could I please turn it off. i did.

3) this is where i’m the asshole. we’re planning for thanksgiving, and i mentioned wanting to do a anticolonial thanksgiving. we’d watch some stuff about the wampanoag tribe (first contact tribe at plymouth rock), i’d make frybread and fried squash blossoms (along w my mom who would make the thanksgiving basics) we’d have a grand old time. her boyfriend asks why we can’t just enjoy thanksgiving without making it too political.

i’m like. that’s not political? it’s cultural?

and he says that to him it feels self flagellating and it would make him feel bad.

and i said honestly? the idea of thanksgiving’s history makes Me feel bad. and not to complain dude, but as an american indian, it’s always about you, and never, ever about me. so truly, i don’t care if you feel bad. we’re not doing a fucking colonized thanksgiving in this house. so if you’re just here for that sham bullshit, go and stay gone.

my mom says she agrees with me that an attempt at a decolonized thanksgiving is a good idea and a good compromise for our mixed family, but that i was way too harsh on her boyfriend and should’ve tried explaining in a kinder way first, since he’s really not educated on this stuff. i see where she’s coming from; i worry i might’ve scared him off of ever learning about cultural decolonization. ik it’s not my responsibility to make him care, but that doesn’t change the fact that plenty of white people are subconsciously looking for a reason not to care about natives, and by being a dick i might’ve just handed him that reason. so not only was i an asshole to him, but an asshole to my community at large by disservicing our reputation.

idk. i think i ruined thanksgiving :/

What are these acronyms?

[adissonsss]

Tom x teen daughter reader! He was like in his teenage dirtbag phase when he had her (yeah yk the one) and her mom left so now it’s just them and they’re bffs?? Thank youu

PT1: Tom Kaulitz X Teen Daughter!Reader

Notes; This is my first request! Tysm anon!!

•My life has been so hetic and busy, I lost EVERY thing in my camera roll from like july 2023-now(not a single TH pic+vid), my home life has been super busy, but I returned to writing ASAP.

•I wasn't so sure about if you wanted headcanons or a fic or wtv, so I decided to do headcanons

•Enjoy, much love!💜💜

•First off, he loves you like he loves Bill. Even more, ngl. He cherishes you, adores you, spoils you, and overall just loves you.

^He will NOT tolerate you being bratty or not saying thanks, not being grateful. He wants you to know the importance of gratefulness.

•He loves buying you stuff. Any treat, stuffed animal, new soda, cd, movie tickets, concert tickets, if you play a sport or instrument any fancy and upgraded equipment, all that and more.

•Obviously, your mom is not in the picture. Tom takes care of you more than a mom could ever. He wants to help you with anything, so he researches about periods, anything that could make you sad or angry, stuff like that.

•When you were younger, if you were ever backstage during songs/on tours, you would be in a couple of TH TV episodes! The camera man would be polite and asking you cute questions

^"What do you wanna be when you grow up?"

^Stuff like that, and most fans and interviewers love you!

•Y'all know that lion cub interview w/ Bill & Tom? Let's say you were like four(???), and you got to meet a lion cub. Tom would slowly let you walk towards the lion cub, and the cub would sniff around you and lick your face. The camera man is filming this and it's totally becoming a TH TV episode.

•He would be the cause of a couple of cavities... He wouldn't let anything or anyone make you sad or angry, he is protective and can get angry when it comes to you.

•As long as your happy and not hurting yourself, he doesn't mind what you do with your looks, fashion, hair, career, etc.

•He loves dressing you up in his clothes, seeing his baggy jeans swallow your legs, and his headband+hat cover your forehead+eyes.

•If you wanted to get matching clothes, piercings, tattoos, sweatshirts, whatever, he's SO down for it!!

•(Let's say this is the 2023 era) You get along w/ Heidi & Heidi's kids so well! Having Heidi as a step-mom is so relieving. Yes, you have Tom+TH, but you can't always talk to them about periods, hair problems, how awful it (sometimes) is being a girl.

•Again with the spoiling. Tom will buy you anything. A country? It's yours. The sun? Cha-ching. An extremely expensive car? If you can drive, here's the keys.

•He will listen to your opinons and views, if you ever wanted to help him on a song, he is all for it!!

•When he had the dreads, you accidentally chewed on a couple😭

•If you ever get a significant other, he is going to make sure they're the right one, and won't let you get hurt by them.

•He splashes you w/ water at the beach

•He had to raise you practically on his own, so he expects y'all to be close. He had to bathe you, feed you, keep you happy, and he honestly puts you before himself.

•When you were younger, he stayed up all night waiting for you to get up and protecting you if someone wanted to come in and try something.

---

Taglist;

@ilovebill-and-gustav

@spx-der

[poraphia]

First of all, I love your writing! Your style is amazing and your writing is the standard I aim for. Could you do a Wilbur x female reader where Wilbur and y/n are having a long distance relationship and y/n is having a very depressive, unhealthy episode so Wilbur decides to visit her while he’s on tour? You don’t have to do this if there are any problems with my request, thank you :)

"Don’t Tell My Boyfriend"

wilbur x depressed!reader 1355 words • 8.27.23 Decided to combine requests :) @ax-y10 requested something with the lyric "Don't tell my boyfriend, its not what he's made for" and then there's anon! Who was in fact super sweet I remember verbally aww'ing when I saw this in my inbox so thank you so much!! I hope you guys enjoy :) this is super unedited and I'm super sorry! Just trying to get back into writing again Wilbur soot masterlist here &lt;-

"Don't tell my boyfriend. It's not what he's made for. What was I made for?"

♡♡♡

I love my boyfriend, I really do.

“(y/n), are you sure you don’t want to come to tomorrow night’s gig? We haven’t seen each other in so long, and I miss you so much..”

“I know, honey, it’s just I’m so caught up with work and I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to even come. I’m really sorry.”

But there are some lies here and there I have to slip out.

Wilbur sighed on the other side of the phone. I buried myself deeper into my pillow, hiding from the world with thick duvet covers.

“Okay, well… I’m getting off the plane right now. I guess I’ll call you tonight or something. I don’t know.” His words were laced with hurt and a sense of betrayal. I clenched my jaw to prevent the sobs aching in my throat.

“Y-Yeah, I’ll see you. I love you.” I mumbled.

“Love you too.” With that, he clicked off of the call. I dropped my phone onto the floor of my bedroom, sitting up to look around the mess of the room I’ve chosen to sulk in. It hasn’t been a good few days, or rather, weeks, recently. I lost my job, the appetite to even eat, to get up and go outside, hell, I don’t even remember the color of my carpet floor since it’s just a layer of clothes I’ve yet to wash.

Wilbur has been too busy on tour for us to regularly call and check in on each other, so it’s been better to keep quiet about what I’ve been going through. The last thing I wanted was for him to be all worried about me when he was supposed to be out there living his dreams as a famous musician playing for countries of many. Recently, he’s been touring in my country and he just landed near my hometown. For months we talked about seeing each other again, and how the distance has been treating us poorly. It ruined our sleep schedules sometimes, but it was all worth it just to spend a few hours together.

I clutched my pillows tightly, burying my face from the world around me. I disappointed Wilbur yet again. Just last month we were fantasizing about this moment.

“I wish I could spend a week in your hometown, love!” He sighed dreamily as he spun around his office chair. I giggled, working on an assignment while listening to the man rant.

“Oh, yeah? What’s so exciting about my hometown?” I asked. I glanced up to look at his webcam, as he stared with ecstatic eyes.

“Well, you, of course. But I wanna see where you grew up, the people, what kind of food you ate— The history! Oh my god, especially the history.” He exclaimed. I shook my head, amused by his antics.

“You’re adorable,” I mumbled.

“Hm?” He hummed, but it was obvious that he heard me with that slick smile.

“You know you are, you cheeky bitch.”

I squeezed my eyes shut as I let the tears stain my pillowcase, letting the sobs agonizingly echo throughout my apartment. I had no energy, not even to love and support my boyfriend. Nothing made me more than feel like the biggest disappointment in his life. Slowly, I drifted to sleep with only the thoughts of Wilbur me shunning me after this occupying my mind. How the next time we’ll see each others faces, he’ll only have his eyebrows knitted closely together while avoiding all eye contact, fidgeting with his hands as he talked.

I’ve ruined this relationship, and I’m scared that I may ruin him too.

I was woken up by the sound of my door creaking open. Immediately I jumped up, clutching my blankets tight to my chest. I backed up against my bed’s headboard as I tried to make out the tall figure standing at my doorway. As my vision started to refocus, I noticed the familiar pattern of curls on the top of the figure’s head.

“W-Wilbur?” I meekly croaked.

The figure stepped forward. I turned to the side to turn on my lamp, and once I turned back around I finally saw his face. His gorgeous, gorgeous face here in front of me. He wore a puffy sweater with a button up underneath. His hair was a mess, and since he’s been traveling for a while he had a slight stuble. But was most noticable was that face of concern. That face that screamed “Oh my god, are you okay?” That face that looked around my room, and most likely my apartment, to see just how much of a mess I truly was.

“(y/n), oh sweetheart, I’m sorry I scared you…” He said, speaking softly as he cupped my cheeks. I placed my hands over his, staring deep into those forest brown eyes.

“I-I…” I was speechless. “H-How did you get in..?” I asked, tilting my head a little. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as they darted across the room. My embarassing state was finally revealed in person, and I felt nothing but shame.

“Remember when we were in call one time and you told me about that spare key you kept in the plant in front of your door?” He explained. He quickly took a hand away from my face to show the key. “I remember…” He smiled.

Fuck, that smile.

That damn smile.

I threw my arms around his neck, holding him tightly as I sobbed into his neck. His hands found themselves around my waist, holding me as close as I can as I let out weeks worth of pain in his embrace.

“It’s okay, (y/n), I got you, I got you I promise…” He whispered softly in my ear,

“I’m sorry—” I choked out. “—I’m so fucking sorry…”

“Why are you sorry, darling?” Wilbur asked. “There’s no reason to be sorry, I promise, sweetheart.” His sweet words pulled on my heartstrings like a puppeteer.

“I-I kept secrets from you. I shouldn’t have, but I didn’t want you to worry. I didn’t know how you would take it…”

“My sweet girl..” He mumbled. He gently pulled himself off of me, examining my face such as my dark eyebags and chapped lips. “How about this, love. I get a warm bath started for you, and while you relax in the bath I’ll clean up your apartment then we can order food to eat together while watching your favorite show. How does that sound? Does that sound good?”

His features were soften and glowing under the warm light illuminating his face. I gave one more look around the room again. Dishes were scattered everywhere and pens and books were everywhere on my desk.

“You’re gonna clean my place..? That’ll take a while, and I don’t want you to be tired for your concert tomomrrow.” I worried. He shook his head.

“That’s not important to me. What’s more important is seeing you well taken care of. That’s what matters to me sweetheart. I could have a concert tonight and I would still drop it all for you.”

As if heaven sent me an angel, he gave me a smile almost as beautiful as Aphrodite’s as my heart ran marathons for the man before me. My hands that were behind his head twirled at his hair strands.

“Promise me, baby?” I asked gently.

“How about I show you instead?”

And with that, he picked me up bridal style, twirling me around before crashing his soft pink lips against mine. I hugged him as tight as my strength could muster, smiling into the kiss.

Despite some arguments in my brain, in the end I could really understand one thing about Wilbur.

This is what he was made for.

♡♡♡

a / n ~ I’m really sorry I’ve been slacking lately. I’m in college now! In the meantime, I’m gonna close requests for now until I feel ready again. Thank you sm for the support!

[mvltisstuff]

Hi! I accidentally stumbled upon your account and I really liked your fics especially on 911 characters. I actually requested a story before but posted it anonymously. It was a lengthy requested where Buck (911) and reader has to go abroad so they got separated and reader didn't know she was pregnant, etc.

And I think I wasn't able to say thank you in advance to that request so this is my thank you. Hope you'll pick it and make the idea worthy. And your stories are great! I love them! More ideas to you! ❤❤

come back, be here - e.b

summary: request

evan buckley x reader

gif from @marjansmateo

a/n: thank you for the request!! i don’t remember seeing it before, but i’ve been having problems w my inbox but it should be fixed now! hope you enjoy :))

every last second of bucks free time was with y/n before she went away. she was going to spain to study abroad for college, and buck couldn’t go with her. he had a life, and he’s happily settled in los angeles. she has a life too, though, one that she’s heavily planned out to give more to buck and her.

buck never wanted her to go. he knew it was her life’s dream to study abroad, but he would miss her like hell. he’s heard all the nightmares about long distance, and they don’t even know if they’re talking about it. y/n was supposed to leave in a week, so buck invited her over for dinner so they could discuss their future. he wishes he didn’t have to say goodbye to the one woman he’s loved more than anyone.

the air in his apartment was uncomfortable, trying to savor the days they had but the upsetting thoughts just kept returning to their mind. it’s been so long that they’ve been dating, they barely remember a life without each other, and that scared buck more than anything. he never wants to go back to his old ways, and y/n helped him.

“so, what should we do this week?” y/n asks, breaking the silence first.

“oh, uh,” buck stutters. “i wasn’t sure, i have work like every day but sunday.”

“that’s when i leave,” she reminds.

“i know, i’m sorry,” he says, breaking eye contact and turning around.

“what’s wrong, buck?” she questions his confusing state. she feels like she may as well just leave, as he’s not attempting to spend a good night together or start a conversation. “i know you’re upset but i didn’t expect you to not want to be with me.”

“i do want to be with you! it’s just-“ buck pauses, thinking about what’s really going through his mind.

bucks been with a handful of women who just up and left. abby was someone he truly cared about. not as much as y/n, but when she left, he was destroyed. he had to pick himself up, piece by piece. y/n was there every time he got hurt, had a bad day, or even had a good day. he doesn’t know how he’s going to go about his day with her being in another country.

“it’s just what, buck?” y/n sighs.

“i’m just thinking about abby and-“

“we’ve been over this, love. i don’t want anyone but you. this is just for me to get experience for work!”

“yeah, i get that,” buck complains. “but what about me? you’re leaving, and im just supposed to stay here? y/n, you are leaving the country. it’s a different time and it’s not as simple as a long drive.”

“buck, i understand what you’re saying, but i am coming back. and i need you to understand me,” her hands are playing with each other anxiously. they haven’t discussed this as much as now, and she has no idea what he might say.

“that’s what abby said.”

“will you stop with the abby shit?” y/n snaps. “i am not her, and i’ll never be her. listen, i don’t know what your deal is about this all of a sudden, but all i want is to be with you.”

“you know i love you,” he nods. “but i don’t know if i can stay here and wait for you to come back.”

“you’re serious?” she scoffs, completely taken aback by his statement. “so you want to break up? you’re going to sacrifice four years for a few months?”

“i’m sorry, y/n-“

“save it, if that’s what you want, then fine,” she gathers her stuff, letting the tears well up and bucks heart stings as he sees them. “i really believed you were the one but clearly, it was one-sided.”

“baby, please, i don’t want this to end like this-“ he tries to speak, but he can’t unsay the words he previously said.

“stop it, you told me what you wanted and you can’t just mess around with that,” she cries, trying to step away from him, placing a hand on his chest as he moves closer. “this is,” she lets out a sarcastic laugh. “this is so mean.”

it was an innocent dream that she’s had since childhood to go to spain. now, it’s finally an option and something she is certain she wants. she never, ever wanted to hurt buck but all of it backfired on her. she couldn’t say the situation was fucked up, disgusting, terrible. she could only muster up the word mean because she never, ever wanted to hurt him.

she whips around, speed-walking toward the front door before he grabs her wrist. she connects with his watery eyes, full of regret and pure sadness, maybe even a dash of loneliness. “i’m sorry,” he whispers.

“me too,” she nods, grabbing the door and walking out. she wipes her face when moving down the hallway, and wishes she could never look back.

on that friday, she got no calls, no messages, or anything from buck. she wanted to at least say goodbye, but the way their connection ended, the one that was so deep and true. she tried to take her mind on him, instead thinking of spain. she wanted to be excited to go, but it felt like everything changed knowing that buck doesn’t want her enough as she does.

the truth is that buck would drop everything in the world to run to her side. he’s so desperate to save himself from the agony of her leaving. bucks had people leave all his life. buck knows he can’t live without her. the only thing on his mind is how much he fucked up. he could handle some months, but he can’t handle her being out of his life for the rest of their lives. the spur of the moment tried to force his feelings into words, the wrong was. realistically, buck would wait forever if it meant she was at the end.

he thought he messed it up forever, that there was no reversing it. she deserved more than what she got from their ending. buck decided to pick up his phone, having no idea if she had left or not.

y/n walked up to the gates of the airport, taking any last attempts to gain the excitement. she wishes buck were right here next to her, to tell her it would all be ok in the end. now, she had to comfort herself with more doubt than she’s ever felt.

she zones out when walking in, looking at the flying airplanes and excited families. she watched them all, wondering where they were traveling. maybe a family vacation, maybe a wedding, maybe a funeral. she wondered if there was anyone in her position in this airport, trying to feel less lonely. her thoughts were interrupted by the vibration in her pocket, snaking her phone out to read the text.

1 new text : buck

have fun in spain!

her heart ached at the sight of the message. it all felt so small, a text that would’ve been appreciated from anyone else. from buck, it leaves a pit in her stomach as the plane takes off.

the lonesome weeks passed slowly, exhausting hours of working their minds on each other. y/n never planned for her stay to be this distant. she had everything right in front of her, but her mind was still in los angeles with buck. the thrills of a new country became minute grins after that night.

she eventually became so engrossed in her relationship with buck that she missed the fact that she was too many days past her period. at one attempt to distract herself, y/n slowly realized. she deep cleaned her whole room, throwing away all the food she had previously bought, wanting to gag at the thought of it. she was displeased because of the waste, but then she took a break.

she scrolled on her phone, getting a notification from her calendar app. she’s like clockwork, she’s always regular. when she spots the little reminder, her heart sinks. the amount of days she was late was certainly cause for concern. maybe she was having another medical problem? she tries to ease her worries but fails.

then she remembers buck. they definitely weren’t not active before she left. so, she does the walk of shame to the pharmacy and buys a test.

the forbidden stick sits on the counter, holding the most complicated thing in the world. there was no way she wasn’t pregnant, there are way too many signs comfort. her fingers shake and fidget on her knees, not even being able to look at it without having to chew at her nails and lips.

the distress and panic really starts turning it’s gears at the sight of the second line. it upgraded at the several other positive results. y/n was just staring at it for minutes straight before it finally kicked in. she was pregnant and the dad was in america.

she knows buck has to know, trying to think of her options while battling tears. he’s the only option to be the dad, and y/n has mixed feelings. she doesn’t know if she should be pissed, sad, or even a little happy. it sounds bad, but maybe it’s an excuse to see buck.

she’s known forever that she wants the rest of their lives together. every last part of him she wants to cherish. this makes it so real, so fast, and while they’re not even speaking. in the mix of all the emotions, y/n still knows exactly what she has to do and what she needs.

buck sat down with a beer in his hand, sitting next to eddie on the balcony. “i just, i wish it happened differently and i feel terrible.”

“buck, it’s not ending here,” eddie reassures. “you guys are meant to be. i didn’t believe in soulmates, until i saw you two.”

“she’s my entire world,” buck says. “i don’t know what i was thinking.”

“you were scared. she was scared. you’re confused, and it’s ok to feel that way,” buck felt like he was back in therapy.

“thanks, eddie,” buck smiles, sipping at the beer bottle and letting the alcohol settle.

the three hard knocks on his door make him sigh, having to force himself up to open the door. his grip on the bottle greatly improved when he saw y/n’s beloved face.

“hi,” she croaks.

“hi,” buck mutters. “w-what are you doing here?”

“i needed to see you, and we need to talk,” she sounds alarmed, scaring buck and making any other worries seem scarce.

“yeah, of course,” he moves. “i don’t want to bother you, so if you want to j-“

“i’m pregnant,” she speaks, her voice shaking and lowering at the words.

buck thinks he might need a hearing aid. there is no way he heard her correctly. buck loves kids, and it’s his life goal to have a family of his own to. he hopes he heard her right, because the only person in those dreams is y/n. he wants to marry her, to get old together, for her to be the mother of his kids.

“s-sorry, what?” he asks, clearly but with his eyes shot open.

“i’m pregnant, buck,” the look in his face could haunt her, the emotionless glance into her eyes makes her feel like she’s stone, and just because of his look.

“uh- ok! come sit down, please?”

she nods, stepping into the apartment as buck reads over every single test, shining lights and using a magnifying glass that he pulled out of nowhere. “you deserve to know.”

“i-im really happy, actually,” he smiles, looking at her nervous hands. he knows she’s scared from her body language, and by her face. he’s able to read her like the back of his hand. “how do you feel?”

“im pretty good,” she shrugs, releasing a sharp breath. “im scared shitless, but…”

“y/n, i cant hold it in anymore,” buck interrupts. “i love you more than anyone in the world. we’re written into forever, and i need you. i only want to spend the rest of my life with you and i know there is no one else out there for me. i don’t know why o said any of what i did, because i want to wait for you, wherever you are.”

as he inches closer to her, the pieces of her broken heart start to glue back together. “i missed you so much, and i only want you, ever.”

“i know,” she falls into his arms, wrapping his around her. “i’m so sorry.”

“i was so scared,” she sobs. “i only want you, buck. i’m never leaving you.”

“i’m here now, it’s all going to be ok,” he shushes, rubbing the back of her head. the entire fright from the whole day starts to disintegrate away, the other feeling nothing but security in the others arms.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 54

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

all i want for christmas by tusslee

“Listen,” Lance squeezes Keith’s fingers in his hands, “I’m as bad at this as you probably are and this is going to be really cheesy, but that’s the way I was raised and I know I act like an idiot around pretty girls, but I’m an even bigger idiot around you. Go ahead and try to guess why that is. No, actually don't do that."

this one is gonna be an xmas special!! even though im writing this before halloween lol. anyways. this was so cute!! lance being all stressed about what he should get keith bc he's all in love w him any everything. so real.

2. You're Here (Where You Should Be) by @blue-wanderer

"And if you’re worried about the cameras just take care of them.” “Take care—! Take care of them? With what, Keith?” “I don’t know?” Keith asks, busily testing his foothold in the gate and generally ignoring the rising storm cloud of ire behind him. “With a gun?” “A gun? This isn’t some sort of black ops storming an enemy base thing! This is a Christmas tree thing!” “I don’t see a difference? You’re the sharpshooter. Shoot out the cameras.” “Let me just pull a gun out of my ass, Keith!” “OK, problem solved,” Keith agrees, taking another step up the gate. “Nothing is solved you dumb country space redneck!”

Or Keith and Lance may be disasters at decorating, but Christmas still manages to work its magic on them.

i bookmarked this like a year ago and let me tell you all i needed to hear was dumb country space redneck and i was hooked 😭😭 and it lived up to the name fr. hate the canon ending? want lance to not be a farmer while still acknowledging his struggles with homesickness? want some whipped keith and meddlesome kosmo? want some cheesy xmas feels? click ahead!

3. make my wish come true by angelbolt

“A world where one has to fight for custody of one’s boyfriend is a godless one,” Lance muttered, slumping so he was leaning against Hunk. Shiro exchanged some final words with Kolivan before the screen blipped out. Ah yes, the ideal Christmas Eve: long boring talks and war meetings. Wonderful. ❆❅❆ keith comes home for christmas.

fun game idea: take a shot every time you see a klance xmas fic with a mariah carey lyric. lol. ANYWAYS yall know me and established relationship + early season dynamics!! i am obsessed!! and this fic delivers!! grumpy lance pov who just wants the rest of the world to fuck off for a couple days so he can have his bf around. he's such a voice of the people

4. i'll be home for christmas by @thespacenico

A severe bout of winter weather threatens to stop Shiro from making it home for his first Christmas with Keith. Shiro is ready to do whatever it takes to keep his promise.

okay this one is from darcy's i've got you brother, which i am obsessed with and have cried over several times, and which just recently updated! this fic is so cute and a adashi with young keith always fucking gets to me, man. they're just so. shiro being so desperately determined to keep his promise to young keith who has had so many promises broken that he doesnt even expect shiro to try. but is happy that he does. sobbing.

5. the greatest gift of all by dumpsterdiva

Keith’s mouth hung open for a few seconds before he stammered, “D-do you really mean that?” Lance looked a bit sheepish as he said, “I… It’s crazy, right? I mean, it’s way too soon. You know I was kidding.” Keith straightened up. “Well, I’m not. Marry me.” “What?!” “You heard me, you coward. Marry me.” “That’s the worst proposal ever!” “Worse than you threatening me with marriage so I would stop talking about how amazing you are?”

YOU GUYS KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT PROPOSAL FICS. i feel ksjbskdbqjdbqwlwd about them. okay. and throw in a christmas setting??? and banter?? and a MODERN AU?? i am doing my best, people. this fic had me shoving a pillow into my face and screaming.

that’s it for today!! happy holidays! merry christmas!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[19burstraat]

anyone want to hear my six of crows x jane austen's emma au. yes of course you do don't be silly. the only person allowed to be silly is me as I descend into madness in the course of trying to cast this. (if you think 'I've heard this before' yes I've posted abt it before tho I think it was on my main)

kaz is emma, a bored, overintelligent rich bitch stuck in a country house with a bunch of shit idiot neighbours and almost no one to entertain or match him. fucking useless dad per haskell / mr woodhouse is a weaksauce hypochrondriac, and jordie / isabella has gone and got married and ditched kaz, the bastard. the only consolation is their neighbour inej / mr knightley, who is rich, sensible, popular, and elegible as hell... glory be, an intellectual equal for kaz!

in order to be less bored, kaz takes on a protege, mysterious randomer and natural son wylan / harriet smith, who kaz decides to mould in his own image and make a good match for. wylan is in love with gentleman farmer jesper / robert martin, but kaz is a snob and tries to push him towards local vicar kuwei / mr elton (I KNOW. I'M SORRY KUWEI), but that all goes tits up bc turns out kaz is a fucking terrible matchmaker, who'd've known.

meanwhile, unassuming and a little cold, but locally well-liked matthias / jane fairfax has arrived back in the village, and kaz busily commences hating on him because he's another accomplished young man and he makes him feel inadequate. hot on his heels comes the mysterious nina / frank churchill (NINA I'M SO SORRY I FUCKING HATE FRANK BUT THIS IS WHAT WORKS FOR THE COUPLES YOU CAN BE A NICE FRANK CHURCHILL ): ), who kaz is kind of fascinated by and enjoys sparring with, and hence kind of misses the really obvious signs that nina and matthias are secretly engaged, even though inej, ever thief of secrets, has lowkey noticed something's up, like matthias getting mysterious gifts from someone. kaz ends up being convinced that possibly it's inej that's pursuing matthias, which nina encourages because it helps her cover, and kaz kinda panics.

everyone has petty village drama which culiminates when kaz sneers at pekka rollins / miss bates (LISTEN. LI actually you don't need to listen bc I laughed out loud when I thought of this comparison but hear me out, if you just think of it as the equivalent of the church of barter scene except instead of 'I buried him' it's 'when have you ever stopped at three?' it kind of works. sorry to miss bates tho who is still kinda my fave austen character) at box hill, which culminates in inej going BOY WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM and kaz is like wow she kind of has a point should I be a better person :/

uhh what else even happens. there's a ball after nina massively encourages one, inej saves wylan from being partnerless and later dances with kaz (think of the gloveless dance scene from the 2020 adaptation? yeah? yeahh??). the regency gender conventions here are getting so messed up lmao, never mind. in emma harriet fancies herself in love with mr knightley and emma is forced to realise that she likes him, so let's say that wylan pretends to be after inej, in order to strong arm kaz into realising that he's wanted to marry inej this entire time. wylan's dad turns out to be minted (I'm stretching the book here to make it work w SOC but never mind) but that's after kaz has admitted he fucked up and sent wylan off to marry gentleman farmer jesper, yaaay. nina's relatives who are stopping her from marrying matthias die and hence there's a massive revelation with 'oh they were engaged this whole time lol', kaz is PISSED bc he didn't clock it. uh. everyone gets married and now kaz can escape the shit village and actually go places. the end.

[plutonian-moon]

random astro observations p5 ! ☆°

take what resonates leave what doesn't!!

12H stelliums/placements peoples (esp. 12H jupiter, 12H pluto, 12H mercury and 12H moon) can easly manifests their minds! (even without meaning this)

3H moons easly talks abou't their emotions or feel need for venting abou't how they feel (writing abou't feelings can be also common with this placements and helpful!) also others can easly trust u and feel comfy w u bc of the way how u speak ! ☆°

12H sun/sun-neptune/12H saturn/saturn-neptune can indicate absent father or very cold/distance father ☆°

4H neptune peoples can grow up in home that have a many secrets and ur family can have lie to u alot also u r maybe discconected from ur roots/family (also i am thinking of someone who can b not sure abou't their roots?)

2H moon/2H venus can likes doing small things for themself like doing food, skincare routine etc this can brings them comfort ☆°

sun-pluto/saturn-pluto (hard aspects) or 8H sun peoples can have a father that is dominant/controlling and u can not have the best relationship with him ☆°

neptune 2H/moon 2H/2H venus/mercury-neptune/mercury-venus can have a very sweet and comfy voices to listen ! ☆°

2H sun/2H mercury/2H mars can make a person who have loud voice and 2H pluto deep voice ☆°

mercury in ur moon persona chart is how u communicate ur emotions ☆°

asc in ur venus persona chart can tell ur beauty ! and what peoples love in u when it comes to look (i have here leo rising and peoples always comment abou't my hair and that they r very pretty lolol) ☆°

5H saturns/5H chirons/5H liliths and 5H uranus can dont want to have kids ☆°

gemini venus/3H venus/mercury-venus have a love for writing or u can b rlly good at writing ! & others maybe like how u put words together also u can have very pretty hands and handwriting !! ☆°

water signs (scorpio,cancer,pisces) & 8H/12H/4H heavy placements peoples can have a hard time letting go the past :( !! ☆°

2H saturns/2H plutos/2H chirons/2H liliths can makes that u have a low self esteem and u tend to compare alot urself with others ! ☆°

virgo moons/6H moons/virgo IC their mother can be very critical to them and maybe she expect alot from them to the point that they was always feeling that they r not good enough :( ☆°

leo saturn/5H saturns/9H saturns/3H saturns/1H saturns is common with peoples who have lack of optimism they can feel easly pessimistic abou't everything ☆°

2H mars/2H pluto 🤝🏼 spending alot of moneys without thinking ☆°

gemini mars/3H mars are so argumentive sometimes for fun and no reason at all also they r very impulsive with their words and can say shitty things when mad ☆°

virgo venus/6H venus r so sweet they will do a small things for peoples that they love ! ☆

asc-pluto/asc-uranus 🤝🏼 changing their style/appereance very often ☆°

pisces rising/1H neptune/1H chiron/asc-neptune/sun-neptune is screaming identity issues & derealization/depersonalization (derealization = feeling disconnected from the world around u & depersonalization = feeling disconected from ur body) ☆°

cancer venus/4H venus/moon-venus will make everything to make u feel happy and will take care of u like no one else ! ☆°

7H chirons will attract peoples who need healing/help in some way ☆°

10H chiron & 6H chiron is common with peoples who r or want to b therapist ☆°

6H jupiters/6H virgo can have alot of pets or they want alot of pets in future!!

u can easly see when someone with 1H moon is upset abou't something just looking at their face ngl

7H jupiter/7H (DC) sag/sag venus/9H venus peoples can have a partner that have grow up in different culture or is diffrent race than u also its can mean that u have no problem with dating someone who is from different country, have different race etc ! ☆°

5H plutos/5H scorpios peoples can be private abou't their hobby unless u r close friend with them and they trust u ☆°

4H pluto/4H saturn/4H mars/4H uranus/4H chiron/4H neptune/4H lilith 🤝🏼 having family issues ☆°

5H uranus likes experiment with music tastes alot ! ☆°

3H saturns/3H capricorns can be quiet and takes words very seriously also can be learning very slow but depends of others placements ! ☆°

6H uranus/6H aquarius can randomly and very easly get sick ☆°

6H geminis can have issues with breathing ☆°

6H saturn can have a teeth problems ☆°

capricorn venus/10H venus/7H saturn/capricorn DC can takes seriously their relationships so they tend to rlly avoid and hate someone who is not stable with their feelings/is giving mixed signals etc ! they just need to know how u rlly feel abou't them bc of stability that they want in relationships! ☆°

8H saturn/8H capricorn/8H chiron/8H mars/8H venus can mean that u have intimacy issues ! also i am thinking of avoiding/not liking being touched if u r not close with them if that makes sense i have 8H saturn + 8H mars in natal and i hate when someone is hugs me or just touching in any way 😭 its so uncomfy for me if u r not my partner or someone that i have a strong connection with like leave me alone.. 🚶🏼‍♂️🚶🏼‍♂️☆°

virgo moons/6H moons 🤝🏼 having stomach issues when stressed ☆°

12H peoples and never feeling understoond by others + always feeling not rlly there and u feel every fucking energy around u to the point that everything u want is just to isolating urself from others ☆°

[prettygirlstothefloor]

Cowboy Carter Review

sorry if i write a lot. i like to yap lol

Ameriican Requiem- i'm a huge sucker for a sitar so i was gripped in from the beginning. i grew up on country music (mainly 90s/early 2000s) and so when she showed up at the CMAs and performed with the chicks it was a childhood dream. but as a person who liked country music around the time 9/11 happened, it's only become even more racist since. the way they treated her that night even though she was one of, if not THE, best performer of the night was so upsetting to watch. even as the best artist on the planet, at the top of her game, she's always going to work a million times harder than any of her peers. i'm so proud of her being able to make a song like to this to put her thoughts out on the whole night that night.

Blackbiird- obviously everyone has heard this song before. i was unaware of the actual backstory to the song since i don't follow the beatles too much (i like george harrison but that's about it lol). i was not aware that the song the song was written for black women during the civil rights movement. i assumed the song was mainly written by john lennon who to my knowledge was kind of a grifter when it came to his activism. having this song come right after ameriican requiem is so poetic.

16 Carriages- shockingly i was able to avoid hearing this song in full until tonight. i tend to only do one single per release and so texas hold em was the one. this song is so heartbreaking because i think about all the kids in the entertainment industry who can probably relate to this song all too well

Protector- these songs she makes for her kids... i'm gonna need her to stop. not because they're bad but i straight up can't listen to blue and probably this song because i want a mom like this 😭

My Rose- i hate that this is an interlude. it's so beautiful and not to be dramatic should've been 10 hours long

Smoke Hour • Willie Nelson- idk what to say about this one lol

Texas Hold 'Em- i love this song. the only problem i have with it is it sounds too clean. like the production sounds too clean. maybe it sounds better on the radio where the quality is lower than streaming but its definitely a song that needs to be played not so isolated.

Bodyguard- there's something in this song. she channeled carole king for this on or something. it's so good instantly a top 20 if not top 10 song of hers through her whole discography.

Dolly P- once again idk what to say about this one its too short to say anything

Jolene- i mean i think the same way about her version as i do about dolly's version. why are we getting mad at these women when we should be getting mad at the men?? take away that beyonce is beyonce for a second. if she was a normal lady and this girl was unaware her man was taken, isn't that more on him than anyone? he's letting it happen.

Daughter- her voice in this song is insanity. the control she has is unmatched truly.

Spaghettii- the beat omgggg. i know this would hit so hard in a mashup with "my house" i'm obsessed.

Alliigator Tears- just from hearing snippets of the country music that's on the radio nowadays, i think this might be one of the few songs from this album that they will eat up. i'm not saying that as a diss at all. i love this song alot especially after a second listen.

Smoke Hour II- i guess i can add on here a random tid bit. i made a country playlist in preperation for the album to come out. i made it on valentine's day. tell me why i named it KNTRY. i didn't even know the "radio station" she has on the album was called that lol.

Just for Fun- i don't listen to lana del rey anymore. i had a small time during last year where i did but then she got real messy again and signed that letter thanking joe biden. that being said this song sounds identical to "norman fucking rockwell". which is a compliment because both are good songs. keep jack antonoff away from beyonce though. that's the good thing about beyonce is she doesn't sound like everyone else which he makes everyone do (yes i am a fan of him but i'm critical of his production lol)

II Most Wanted- i'm sorry i've never been a fan of miley cyrus (except for the song she did for black mirror and that one EP she put out). i want to like this song because i like aspects of the song but it being a miley cyrus song with a beyonce feature is not want i want.

Levii's Jeans- this is also a collab i'm not a fan of. i actually enjoy post malone but i would've liked to see them in a more upbeat song.

Flamenco- idk how to take this song. it's stunning as usual. my thoughts on the lyrics though is she's kinda talking to fans maybe like the OG like destiny's child fans who have started to leave because she's starting to experiment more with her sound and they miss her old sound. i would love to know her take on this song in particular. because i know so many artists who decide to change their sound throughout each release are terrified of losing fans because they're so stuck on a certain sound.

The Linda Martell Show- another one i can't say much on since it's an interlude

Ya Ya- now.... remember what i said about bodyguard??? easily top 10. idk where on my ranking but it's there. the interpolation of "these boots were made for walking" and "good vibrations". there's something about that old soul rock sound that gets me every single time. i know that it doesn't sound anything alike but "freedom" has that same vibe, where it takes alot from old 60s blues soul rock. this is gonna hit so good on tour!

Oh Louisiana- i will say i really like this interlude. second favorite out of the ones with actual music

Desert Eagle- another song she chose to make extremely short when it should've been hours long... come on B

Riiverdance- its a fun and cute song. i think the beat is good but i think i like it more on my first listen.

II Hands II Heaven- i'm hoping this will finally click for me. im seeing everyone really love this song but idk whats not clicking for me. i'll definitely keep listening to it though maybe someday.

Tyrant- someone said this is the thique of cowboy carter and yeah i can definitely hear it. it's a sexy song and it's a fun song. definitely like it alot more after a second listen

Sweet • Honey • Buckiin'- her sampling "i fall to pieces" in this song is so special to me. i do want someone to take this "honey" and add it to the end of pure/honey though i wonder if it would sound any good. i think sweet and buckiin are the best songs out of the three of these.

Amen- i love how this really rounds out the album, calling back to the first song. it feels and is a very emotional song. don't know if i'll go back to it only because i think it could make me cry lol

overall, i think it's a solid album. if we're comparing the acts, which idk how you can because they're two distinctly different sounds, i would probably still go with renaissance but there's still so many solid songs on this album that are now some of my top faves. usually i rate out of 10 but it feels too low tbh, so i'm rating it out of 100. it will definitely grow on me just like renaissance did. 89/100.

[ransprang]

Hi can we have some Volg, Takamura and Kimura as husbands please~

sowwy for the wait, enjoy!!

Volg, Takamura and Kimura as husbands

volg

volg would lowkey be a domestic male wife

He'll surprise you with cooking you Russian dishes and dishes from your home country

he'll try to learn your mother tongue (if you have one)

super attentive when it comes to anniversaries and birthdays. he'll always get a gift without fail

makes it a point to visit your family (if you are on good terms with them) and get to know them since he values family a lot

amazing when it comes to taking care of you when you are sick. he'll make you soup and get you medicine as needed

takamura

he absolutely refuses to let you do any DIY work because he is the man of the house. when he doesn't know how to fix things he'll just keep at it or call aoki/kimura over

since takamura can't really just go off exploring japan for weeks without you, he'll bring you on weekend getaways. he'll also show you any pretty spots he encountered during his adventures

he gets you front row tickets to all of his matches and when he gets interviewed he drags you in front of the cameras and gives you smooches "THIS IS MY MRS WORLD CHAMPION"

makes up songs about you and sings them loudly when going to the gym which annoys everyone

he makes up excuses to bring you to the gym and show you off to kimura and aoki "of course i can bring my wife here. it's bring your wife to work wednesday HAHAHAHA"

kimura

kimura would be a very great listener and communicator which is essential to lasting marriages. he'd listen to your problems and be equally expressive about his own

he'd love to get a pet with you. perhaps another fish

big softie he'd watch romance movies with you or anything you want really

super romantic inside, he'll start planning future plans with you even before you both are married and makes sure he fulfils them

double dates w aoki and tomoko are frequent

kimura is still insecure about himself even after being married to you like is he good enough or adequate to be around you?? so you'll need to reassure him quite a bit

kimura texts you a ton throughout the day about mundane things or if something silly happens in the gym he'll video it and send it to you

your lover,

admin sar

[isatswap]

(full in stars and time game spoilers)

(also child death cw)

Réminiscence

TTOS version of Act 3 ending from ISAT

Loop: (Ask the Scary Lady...)

"What's your goal?"

"Are you the one doing this to me?"

"So, you're using Time Craft?"

"What should I remember?"

"...You're not actually from Vaugarde, right?"

"Why the title?"

"Let's stop fighting."

(Nothing to ask...)

Isabeau: LOOP?!?

Bonnie: What? Why--

Scary Lady: .....

(You don't need to fight anymore, do you?)

(You understand what Euphrasie wants! How she feels!)

(If only you could make her understand...!!!)

Loop: "We don't have to fight..." Loop: "We are looking for the same thing!"

Scary Lady: .....!!!

Loop: "I know! I understand why you're doing this!" Loop: "But this isn't the way to do it!" Loop: "We could protect this country in another way! Without preserving it in a prison of time!" Loop: "Do you really want to see it end?..."

Scary Lady: ....

Loop: "Let's just stop fighting! Let this country be!" Loop: "We don't need to keep holding onto it..." Loop: "We should just... let it go...." Loop: "We have to let it go, Euphrasie..."

Mirabelle, Isabeau, Bonnie, Odile: ...

Scary Lady: ..... Scary Lady: ..... Scary Lady: .....I..... Scary Lady: ..... Scary Lady: ....Perhaps you are right, Bright One.

Mirabelle: Huh???

Isabeau: W-WHAT?!

Scary Lady: Let us stop this battle. Scary Lady: Let us talk to one another.....as people from the same country.

(The Scary Lady has stopped fighting you.)

(You lower your hands.)

Mirabelle: Loop....

Isabeau: ...

Bonnie: Is.... Bonnie: Is that it. Bonnie: You are just gonna stop right now.

(...?)

Odile: Boniface?...

(You've never seen them be so angry before....)

Bonnie: After destroying my home, freezing my sister and the whole country of Vaugarde.... Bonnie: YOU ARE JUST GONNA STOP?! LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED?!

Scary Lady: ....haaah...haha.... Scary Lady: Indeed. Scary Lady: I have fought for long enough. Scary Lady: And.... I'm starting to realise, even if I did get my wish.... Scary Lady: There would be no victory.

Odile: Does Time Craft affect you as well? Odile: That's pretty dumb, I'd say.

Scary Lady: ..... Scary Lady: Perhaps. Scary Lady: But....If the one asking is someone from my own country.... Scary Lady: Shouldn't I listen? Scary Lady: ....haha..... Scary Lady: After all.... Only my fellow compatriot would understand my pain.

(....)

Isabeau: You said.... You and Loop are from the same country?...

Odile: We don't know where Loop is from, actually.

Mirabelle: So what happened?

(The Scary Lady starts weeping, mixed with small laughs.)

Scary Lady: ....... Scary Lady: Hah.... That is the problem, isn't it? That is the knowledge we wish to attain, isn't it? Scary Lady: If I try to say it, you might be able to understand.... but a second after, it will slip out of your hands. Out of your mind. Scary Lady: The fate of the island, north of Vaugarde.

Mirabelle: North of Vaugarde, huh....

Bonnie: Oh, it's the one close to my home. The one no one can say the name of....

Isabeau: The one no one can remember anything about...!

Scary Lady: The very one.

Odile: Is that where you two are from??? That would.... explain things.... but what actually happened?...

(The Scary Lady sobs.)

Scary Lady: ..... Scary Lady: I suppose your story might be similar to mine, Bright One..... Scary Lady: But I do not remember it. Scary Lady: All these years of trying to find out what happened to me, to my home, to my name.... Scary Lady: They weren't here. Repressed. Replaced with a new life of the Head Housemaiden, Euphrasie.

(....?)

Scary Lady: Until.... he came along. Scary Lady: From the first glance I could tell he was not from Vaugarde, or any of our neighbouring countries. Scary Lady: For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Scary Lady: The star-shaped ornaments, the rituals he would sometimes perform, the knowledge that seemed to interest no one but him.... Scary Lady: It felt familiar. Scary Lady: But he would rarely speak to anyone. Always seemed to be too deep into whatever he was trying to achieve. Scary Lady: But on one fateful day, he came to me and asked to listen to his plight. Scary Lady: He explained that he doesn't know how he ended up in Vaugarde, what his real name was. All he knew was.... Scary Lady: He was from the island, north of Vaugarde.

(!!!)

(But again! She does not say his name! Who is she talking about?!)

Scary Lady: That is when it clicked. Scary Lady: The memories of being lost. Scary Lady: The memories of not knowing where I'm from, what language do I speak, what my name is.... Scary Lady: The memory of waking up on a beach. Scary Lady: It all came back to me. Scary Lady: After that, I couldn't just....do nothing about it. Scary Lady: The thought of me forgetting my own blinding country this easily.... And on top of that, forgetting that I forgot.... Scary Lady: I couldn't live with it. Scary Lady: And then. I realised. Scary Lady: If even I, a denizen of the island, forgot it this easily. If we don't know what made us forget. We just know that SOMETHING happened. Which no one remembers. Then....

Loop: ".....What is stopping it from happening again?"

Scary Lady: What if we forget our new home?

Loop: "What if we lose it all, once more?"

(The Scary Lady weeps.)

Loop: "And you had to make sure it never happens again."

Scary Lady: At any cost necessary. Scary Lady: That is why I left, leaving my position to him....

(...!!!)

Scary Lady: And trying to go where The Universe lead me.

Loop: "And if The Universe lead you here..."

Scary Lady: Then that is what The Universe wants. Scary Lady: "The Universe...."

(...."Leads".)

Scary Lady: "We can only..."

(..."Follow".)

Scary Lady: Hahaha..... Scary Lady: Even if you don't agree with my methods... I can tell you understand. Scary Lady: No matter what.... I could not let this happen again! I could not!!! Scary Lady: NOT TO VAUGARDE!!! Scary Lady: NOT TO VAUGARDIANS, WHO HOUSED ME, CARED FOR ME, LOVED ME, GAVE ME A NEW LIFE!!! Scary Lady: I DO NOT WANT TO FORGET IT ALL!!! NOT AGAIN!!! Scary Lady: I WILL KEEP THE THINGS I LOVE CLOSE TO ME!!! I WILL MAKE SURE THEY KEEP EXISTING!!! Scary Lady: SO THAT THEY CAN BE REMEMBERED, FOREVER!!!!

(...)

Isabeau, Mirabelle, Bonnie, Odile: ...

Scary Lady: .....haha.... Scary Lady: That is what I thought. This whole time. This whole time.... Scary Lady: But.... I can see I was mistaken. Scary Lady: You are right, Bright One. Scary Lady: We can find other wats to protect the things we love. Scary Lady: So... Please, while I still can.... Let me change my mind. Scary Lady: Let me help you.

Isabeau: ....Change.....

Bonnie: Isabeau.....

Isabeau: Bonnie, if she truly means it... shouldn't we try? Isabeau: Or are we deciding that she cannot change? Isabeau: I can't believe that... I want to believe.... That even the worst person can change!!!...

Bonnie: ....

Loop: "Boniface...."

Bonnie: .....

Loop: "Please." Loop: "We have to try."

Bonnie: ....

Mirabelle: .... Mirabelle: ...I'm with Isa and Loopie!

Bonnie: ....Okay. As long as we save my sister.

Odile: ..... Odile: I'll follow you, Loop. But.... Odile: *sigh* Odile: I will trust you all, this once. Can't do crab by myself anyway.

(You breathe out.)

(If you can end this loop without fighting....)

(If you and The Lady can come to an understanding....)

Scary Lady: ....haha..... Scary Lady: Then... Bright One... Scary Lady: Won't you stand next to me...?

(....?)

Scary Lady: I can stop the Curse. Make sure everyone moves in time again. Scary Lady: We can save this country... together. Scary Lady: But I can't do it on my own. Scary Lady: Crafting the Curse was easy, but unraveling it.... Asks for more power than I possess. Scary Lady: But with the help of someone else... Someone who truly wishes for the Curse to be lifted....

Odile: Hm? Is that how it works?

Scary Lady: Yes, young one. If someone wants it enough.

Isabeau: ...Loop? Should I do it?....

Loop: (...)

(Reach out to the Scary Lady.)

(...)

(If all that is needed for the Curse to break is your help....)

(You made Euphrasie change her mind. Least you can do is help.)

(You take a step forward to the Scary Lady.)

Scary Lady: ...haha.... Scary Lady: HAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! Scary Lady: ...Bright One.... Scary Lady: Not so bright, after all.

(...?)

(NGH...!!!)

(You have been encased in a rock.)

(You can only move your head.)

(Everyone else is in the same situation.)

Scary Lady: Haha.... Scary Lady: I know many ways of Craft, Loop. I knew even before going on my journey, in my Head Housemaiden days. It was my duty, after all, to learn.

(Can't break out.)

Isabeau: WHY?!?

(The Scary Lady looks at Isabeau.)

Scary Lady: Oh, Housemaiden.... Scary Lady: Did you really think this would work? Scary Lady: That I just needed to talk with someone? To change my ways? To let go of my wish? Scary Lady: And to accept defeat? Forget for a third time? Scary Lady: No. Scary Lady: Vaugarde will be perfected in its stasis. Forever encased, forever unchanging, forever beautiful. Scary Lady: No matter the price.

Scary Lady: ...but... Scary Lady: This isn't how it was supposed to go. Right, Bright One?

(Huh...?)

Scary Lady: I've seen the sighs. The way you came in to face me. Like you knew exactly what you were about to fight. The way your companions flinched upon hearing my voice, but not you. Scary Lady: The way you knew about my home, how you can so easily hold it in your mind, like you've practiced it as I have. Scary Lady: Hahahaaaa.... Oh, Loop, I can tell! Scary Lady: YOUR ADVENTURE WAS SUPPOSED TO END LONG AGO!!! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN STOPPED BY ME!!! But something went wrong, didn't it? Scary Lady: VICTORY KEEPS ESCAPING MY GRASP!!! Scary Lady: .... Scary Lady: Loop. Scary Lady: it was you, wasn't it? The one who prevented it?

Scary Lady: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU STOLEN MY ENDING FROM ME LOOP?

(!!!)

(It's hard to breathe.)

Mirabelle: What is she talking about?...

Bonnie: Huh--

Scary Lady: Hahaha... Scary Lady: I can feel it... this scent... this sickening sweet scent... Scary Lady: I can taste the power of Wish Craft on you.

(What...?)

Odile: "Wish Craft"? What the crab is that....?

Scary Lady: Loop.... Scary Lady: I KNOW ITS YOU!

Scary Lady: YOU'RE THE ONE KEEPING ME FROM TOTAL VICTORY!!! Scary Lady: FROM MY PERFECT ENDING!!!

Scary Lady: ....haha....If only I could stop you, right now.

Scary Lady: But, ah. A regular death would be too easy for you. I'm sure you have seen it many a time. Scary Lady: So, I should just... Scary Lady: make it as slow as possible.

Odile: HEY!....

(The Scary Lady has grabbed Odile with her fingers...!!!)

Isabeau: ODILE!!!

Bonnie: NO!!!

Mirabelle: CURSE YOU, EUPHRASIE!, LET HER GO!!!

Scary Lady: Oh, what's with the ruckus? I'm not gonna do anything terrible to her! Scary Lady: I will just freeze her. Slowly. From toes, to knees, to waist, to neck, until she is perfectly still. Scary Lady: And then I'll freeze your Cook, perhaps even slower. Scary Lady: And then your Pilgrim. Scary Lady: As for Isabeau... Ah, I'll figure something out. Scary Lady: We have all the time of the world, after all.

(NO...!!!)

Scary Lady: And you, Loop.... You will last the longest. You just have to observe.

(You can see parts of Odile getting frozen, as if paralysed.)

Odile: LOOP!!!

(NO!!!)

Isabeau: ODILE!!!

Bonnie: C'MON, STUPID ROCK!! BREAK!!

Mirabelle: NO, NO, NO, NO, DILE!!

(Nononono!!)

(You can't let this happen.)

(You cant. Let this. Happen.)

(You)

(need)

(to)

Loop: "ODILE!!!"

(You break out of the rock with all your might!!!)

Scary Lady: !!!

(The Scary Lady is startled, this is your cha--)

(Her fingers twitch.)

(You hear a cracking sound.)

(Odile goes limp.)

(The Scary Lady gasps silently, covering her mouth, looking at the child she is holding.)

(She moves her gaze onto you.)

(You look back.)

(You can see yourself reflected in Euphrasie's eyes.)

(You can't even tell if time is moving anymore)

(You need)

(YOU)

(YOU NEED TO LOOP BACK)

(The taste of burnt sugar fills the room, but this time it feels increased tenfold)

(Both of you, in this moment, want this to end)

(You both wish to end this)

(You need to end this)

(You need to loop back, somehow, you need to die, or touch a Tear, or SOMETHING)

(You need to loop back)

(loop back loop back loop back loop back loop back loop back loop back loop back loop back loop back loop back loop back loop back loop b--)

Scary Lady: I....

(The Scary Lady outstretches her hand)

Scary Lady: I am.... sorry.

(The Scary Lady strikes)

<YOU DIED THANK STARS LOOP BACK LOOP BACK LOOP BACK>

(AH!--)

(Your whole body hurts, like all the other times, but you don't even think about the pain)

(You clutch your head and try to catch a breath and forget!!!)

(It's fine!!!)

(You died! You looped back! It's fine!!! She is fine!! Odile is fine!!!)

(Looping resets everything!!! Everything that just happened has been erased!!! Everything is back to normal!!! Odile is back to normal!!!)

(Just go and see her!!! She is fine!!! She is fine!!!)

(SHE IS FINE!!!)

(She is fine.)

(She is fine.)

(You are fine.)

(A whimper escapes you.)

(No, you're okay, Odile is okay, everyone is okay.)

(They have to be okay)

(Just breathe)

(breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe)

(Odile)

(Odile is okay)

(You're okay.)

(Ha, see, because of the way loops work, your family won't remember anything. No one is hurt, Odile is alive, everything is back to normal.)

(There is no reason loops would work differently this time.)

(Just breathe, stand up, and make sure.)

(Get back to the stage.)

(Follow the script.)

(You have to make sure Odile is okay.)

<Walking outside of the meadow...>

Isabeau: Loop! You're-- Isabeau: Oh Change, you look.... Isabeau: Really, really tired! I thought you were taking a nap! Did you not sleep well???

(The pain started to set in, so you can barely walk upright.)

Loop: "Not really, haha!"

Isabeau: Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. Isabeau: I was gonna tell you something, but I shouldn't bother you right now, I think! Go on and do whatever you needed to do today!!!

Loop: "Sure." Loop: "Do you know if Odile is okay?"

Isabeau: ...Huh? Isabeau: I think? Shouldn't be any more sad than usual. Isabeau: I saw her near the fields earlier, to the East, if you wanna ask her...?

(You nod.)Isabeau: O-okay... Isabeau: I'll get out of your hair, make sure to rest up, and we will meet for dinner at the clocktower later!!

(You nod again.)

(Habit takes over, and you tell him about the CARROT method.)

Isabeau: Wait, how did you-- <Zone out.>

(You need to see if Odile is okay.)

<Walking over to the fields....>

(Odile is here, alive and moving.)

Loop: "DILE!!"

Odile: ...huh? What--

Loop: "....Odile."

Loop: "How are you?"

Odile: ....I'm.... fine, I suppose?

Loop: "Good."

Odile: ...

Loop: "..."

Odile: And... how... are you...? Odile: You look unwell. Something happened?

Loop: "No, nothing happened! Everything is good!"

Odile: ...fine. Odile: ...I should tell Boniface about this. Odile: I mean, um. Well. Odile: What else do you want?

(Nothing.)

(You have to go and see Siffrin.)

Odile: ...?

<Walking over to the Tree...>

Mirabelle: Lo-- Mirabelle: Woah, what's wrong?

Loop: "I need to do the Favor Tree thing."

Mirabelle: Oh. Do you... need me to leave? Mirabelle: Okay! But talk to me later! Okay?

(Diffrin is looking down, his eye obscured by shadow.)

Siffrin: ...

Loop: "..."

Siffrin: So it was Odile, huh. Siffrin: ... Siffrin: I'm sorry. I hoped it would work as well. But, it seems fate is not in our favor. Siffrin: Even if you.... stayed put, you would still lose.

Loop: "...."

(You don't want to think about it.)

Siffrin: ...I understand. Siffrin: Anyway. What The Lady said back there....

Loop: "Right. She mentioned something." Loop: "Something about 'Wish Craft'."

Siffrin: Yep.

Loop: "What is that?..."

Siffrin: ...Yeah, probably should've remembered to tell you sooner. Siffrin: A way to craft wishes. Probably sounds very impossible, but that is what it is. Siffrin: Unfortunately, I can't say more. The ways of Wish Craft seem long forgotten by basically everybody. Doubt you can get more information out of The Scary Lady as well. Siffrin: ...But, she also seemed to imply you were using it, somehow.

Loop: "Which would be odd, considering this is the first time I'm hearing about it."

Siffrin: Yeah, that is indeed odd. Siffrin: ... Siffrin: That is at least new information. As futile as the whole 'trying to get The Scary Lady on your side' idea was, you at least got something out of it.

(Was it worth it?)

(Every time you close your eyes, you hear this awful breaking sound.)

Siffrin: ...I wonder why didn't you loop the same way as last time?

(You tried)

(You just weren't fast enough)

Siffrin: Doesn't matter. The important part is that you looped, and the Teen is here and doesn't remember it! Siffrin: Just put it behind you!

(...)

Siffrin: And that is not the only thing you got, right? You also aquired a Memory.

(Oh.)

(You didn't even notice.)

Siffrin: You will always remember this, after all. Siffrin: Gonna do the usual.

Siffrin: [You got a MEMORY OF MEMORIES. When equipped, Memory of Memories allows you to read book you couldn't before!]

Siffrin: The ones which used to give you headaches when you read them. The ones from your country.

(Oh, how useful and neat, to be able to read your own blinding language.)

(You might as well read any books you find, before you forget how to again.)

(Like you do everything else.)

Siffrin: And, if you can read that language... Siffrin: Maybe you can explore the House a bit more. Siffrin: Don't despair, starlight. There is still a path to follow!

(...)

Siffrin: In the meantime... Siffrin: How can I help you, starlight?

[chans-muffin]

skz hyung line x taylor swift eras

hi stayswiftie ville!!

so, im hiperfixated on both subjects and i love associating taylors eras with the things i enjoy, so w skz it would be no different :) here's my opinion!!

only the hyung line bc i lost inpo during lmao

wc: 420

notes: grammatical errors, ts unbearably, perhaps a wrong view of their personality (?) & i went to far on hyunbini im sorry 😭😭😭 i love them

bang chan - speak now / reputation!! - bro went to a lot and talked about karma multiple times, rep is something made to perform and impact, at the same time as it has insecure and more of melancholic lyrics. of course all the members went through this, but it's just that is chan more yk. and sn is just. yes. "something in his deep brown eyes has me saying 'hes not all bad like his reputation'" & all of superman & never grow up & back to december 'bout chans room :( & LONG LIVE AND TIMELESS FOR SKZ !! &@,#, im gonna shut up now but i actually have a entire playlist with these and others songs, letmk if you wanna check out :))

lee know - 1989 - i see a lot of this album associated with seungmin. for me, i see more of minho, its just the vibe that he passes on to me, since i don't know him deeply. but it's something more hidden from the media, living your youth in strange ways alongside people u appreciates, idk if it makes sense but ok kansmwj

changbin - debut / taylor swift - oK LISTEN. I KNOW HES SO COOL AND GOD OF RAP AND THEY HAD TO TAKE THE POCKETS OUT OF MY PANTS BECAUSE I WAS JUST WALKING WITH MY HANDS INSIDE THEM bUT- have you ever seen him with THE cowboy hat in topline mv? 🥺 but it's about the beginnings you know, all the way from 3RACHA to stray kids, rock and country on the same album just like we have 'sorry, i love you' and 'thunderous' in noeasy or 'leave' and 'lalalala' (all produced by changbin) he deserves everything! and your talent and effort should be recognized as many times as necessary <33 (and deep down, i also love imagining changbin with a goat with a pink lacy bow on it head KABSEKDHEKJD

hyunjin - evermore - i stand by that so fucking much you have no idea . hyune has a huge impact on stage of course, tHE photos with the red hot chili peppers shirt also made me feel,, things. but he is so much more than that :( he is an hopeless romantic with such beautiful piece arts about love and feelings. he has also shown interest and lived answering philosophical questions in the bubble community (rip 🌷) *han also mentioned that he talked a lot about philosophers with hyunjin, right? i'm not sure now* his arts also have a lot of shades of brown, yellow, gray and black and personally, these colors are very fall colors and "omg i'm in tremendous melancholy" vibe aswell so = sad autumn = evermore. HE ALSO POSTED ABOUT BETTY FROM FOLKLORE AND THESE TWO ARE SISTERS🤓. i really want to someday be able to talk about the lore of 'no body no crime' for him, also talk about the sapphic vibe radiating from 'ivy' and he would love it so much, 'champagne problems' too!! and after that he can post a beautiful photo on insta with 'evermore' in the background ((yes i took the delulu pills today

[menlove]

as a John Understander, what would u think was john's breaking point in regards to "everyone (especially paul) hates me, i'll break this group before they do it, it's over, i'm moving countries & changing everything" etc etc? not sure if that makes sense lol 😭

I'm not sure if there was a Specific breaking point but honestly probably all of it, but esp him feeling increasingly paranoid and also the other's treating yoko poorly. like we all know there were Problems and Issues around yoko but from a purely bpd standpoint it had to feel Worse bc this is the person he's like. majorly obsessed with. to hate her is to hate him. not to even scratch the surface of the financial issues, but that's more where the paranoia comes in. honestly I'd say w at least 99% certainty he was splitting on paul (& others but Mainly paul bc paul Had filled that niche where yoko now lived) so everything he did was going to piss him the fuck off and just add to his growing list of reasons to get out of dodge

and the band was pretty well on the way to falling apart. I can't remember the exact quote or what interview it was from but ik he talked in some interview about the fact that him and klein knew things were going to break down but no one was saying anything and klein didn't want him to say anything but he did. again from the bpd standpoint I wouldn't even say if he really put much thought into suddenly and impulsively declaring that he wanted a divorce. sometimes you just feel like you're going insane and you HAVE to say/do something drastic to get anyone to pay attention or listen to what you're feeling. so feeling cornered, trapped, paranoid as hell from heroin, I think he probably just went "fuck it I'm going to be the first one to say it and see what happens and if it blows up in my face whatever!" and then when he was actually taken seriously he didn't know what to do w that

and as for moving countries and changing everything well..... impulsivity will get you. I imagine he felt like he'd blown up all his relationships already and the only way forward was to just start from scratch w the only person he needed (yoko). I'd bet his life just felt like such a neverending goddamn circus of a shitshow that He Was Responsible For that escaping to nyc and putting everything into yoko and activism and later fatherhood was the reinvention he needed so he didn't have to face this old life that he no longer could or would be a part of. and idk abt him but what's also very common w bpd is an extreme lack of empathy/a lot of apathy when these situations come up. so while I'm sure Objectively he felt a lot abt the situation, I'd guess he just shut down any positive feeling he had about paul or the beatles and Stopped Caring. for a while, at least.