#Like at least when I lived in TX I got it
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evanbuckleysarms · 1 year ago
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Look. I really like my new job SOOOO much more than my old job. Its a non-toxic environment, I have sooo much autonomy, and I am making more money.
But damn do I miss working somewhere that actually took my dietary restrictions into account
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echoes-in-echoclan · 7 months ago
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So... who looked directly at the eclipse?
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Forever's gonna start toniiightttt forever's gonna start toniiiight
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seeminglydark · 5 months ago
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good news! i finally got a job after being unemployed for a few years. it’ll be at least a year or two before i’m able to move out due to trying to pay off my credit card debt but i’m excited that i’ll be able to leave town and get away from unsupportive family. i’m trying to spend as little money as possible on entertainment stuff and i have a massive book collection that i’m excited to read and sell some of it i don’t feel like i need them anymore. you’re comics have been very helpful for me to be able to understand and express myself. it has given me a lot of joy since finding it especially after the loss of my cat a month ago.
any tips for a queer punk trying to escape and start over with no support system?
happy pride month! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️
ANON! I'm so proud of you, thats incredible! i am wishing you all the best on your journey forward and out. it sounds to me like you already have a good handle on things, paying down your debt is a great place to start. depending on how much debt you have, (most of my advice is US based I'm afraid, since thats where i grew up as a poor lonely punk so hopefully it can help you, or someone else) you may be able to find a financial counselor or coach, (not adviser!) to help you get rid of some of it immediately. there are ways to 'challenge' things on your credit that have been there for a while, and many times the creditors will either drop it cuz they dont want to deal with paperwork, or reduce it to a much smaller payable sum because to them something is better than nothing. a lot of cities has free nonprofit programs to help with this, and other non profit organizations offer them as well depending on your community. This will also help improve and build your credit score cuz even a punk might need to buy a home or rent an apartment one day.
i know there is an allure to big name cities when you move, i lived in one myself while poor as dirt and it kinda sucked (Austin tx specifically) because it was so expensive. look into where you want to go before moving there, look at cost of living, and public transit, things like that. it looks like youre waiting a while before going, look into job transfers so you might not have to start completely fresh from the bottom.
thrift stores are great but they are getting more expensive by the year, but when youre a poor guy in a new place, dumpster diving might be an option. please dont ever get a mattress from a dumpster ok? bedbugs are a thing and often why those are thrown out, but other things like tables, chairs, shelves etc. check your local papers and neighborhood boards, sometimes hotels and such renovate and when they do they auction furniture off dirt cheap. Thanks Mr Marriott for furnishing my house for like 40 bucks in 2005!
When you move out, if you are still struggling financially, you can look into fixed rent apartments, you usually have to get on a list, but there are places out there to help you get on your feet. a REALLY good resource for many things if going to be your local library. librarians are like gods and they know SO MUCH that can help you.
speaking of libraries. you do deserve a little joy, i would think about perhaps getting a electronic reader, did you know that you can rent books and audio books from libraries with one? plus it reduces the bulk of books you may have to move later. i know the vibe is different from getting to touch the pages, but the pleasure of reading is still there. The library is also going to be a great place to meet people and find a circle of support and new friends. many of them have clubs and community activities ranging from book clubs to everything in between, you can even suggest a club yourself that they might consider hosting. don't deprive yourself of happiness, itll be helpful on the days when it gets hard to move forward.
its been a hot minute since i was alone and starting over, and things have changed a lot so im not completely sure all of this is still relevant, library is ALWAYS a good place to start. if my followers have any advice, please feel free to chime in the comments as well! im so proud of you anon, and keep us updated as life goes on. <3
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canonicallyobserving911 · 2 years ago
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Buck & Eddie: Young Buck and Christopher -Parallels
Chris looks like Buck; they have the same hair color and type (blonde/brown and curly) and they both have blue eyes.  If someone didn’t know them and they saw Buck, Eddie and Chris together, it would be easy for them to assume that Buck is Chris’ biological father.  It’s clearly not a coincidence that Chris looks like Buck and Buck looks like Bobby because Bobby is Buck’s found dad and Buck is Chris’ second dad/legal guardian.
In addition to them looking alike, Buck’s and Chris’ lives parallel in a lot of other ways too.  Several of Chris’ experiences have been direct parallels with Young Buck’s experiences and their clothing was either identical or similar with minute differences like the color of their shirts or the length of their shirts’ sleeves. Whenever Chris’ experiences were direct parallels to Young Buck’s; Buck was present with Eddie or by himself in the role of Chris’ second dad.
It’s interesting there were multiple Young Buck scenes included in 4x5 but there haven’t been any Young Eddie scenes included in any episodes over the past four and a half years even though there were opportunities for them to be included in 3x15 “Eddie Begins” and in 5x17 “Hero Complex”.  If there wasn’t enough time in 3x15, there was plenty of time in 5x17 when Eddie went to El Paso, TX because there were opportunities for at least two flashback scenes of Young Eddie to have been included in that episode but there weren’t any.  One flashback could have been included when Eddie explained the way Ramon told him to be the “man of the house” at the age of 10.  Or they could have included a flashback of Young Eddie trying to drive Ramon’s truck after Helena went into labor but no scenes were included regarding that instance either.
Karen told Hen in 5x17, “Once is a mistake, twice is a coincidence and three times is a pattern” and Athena told Eddie in 6x7 “Cursed”, “You know what I believe in even less than a curse? Coincidence”. Therefore it’s probably not a coincidence that Chris looks like Buck and a lot of their childhood experiences including the clothing they wore are parallels.  It’s not a coincidence that Buck was present for Chris’ experiences that paralleled with his and it’s also not a coincidence that there haven’t been any childhood scenes of Eddie included in episodes that were about him.  It appears these parallels are patterns because they keep happening.  Will there be more parallels of Buck and Chris in 6B? Only the showrunner(s), writers and producers know the answer to that question.
Parallels – Clothing and Experiences
GIFs 1 & 2: Young Buck’s and Chris’ shirts were both long sleeved and striped when Buck was learning to ride a bike for the first time but he fell off and got injured while Chris was with Buck on the pier before the Tsunami hit.  Buck’s shirt in 4x5 “Buck Begins” was blue with yellow, navy and light blue stripes while Chris’ shirt in 3x2 “Sink or Swim” was yellow with blue, brown and white stripes.
GIFs 3 & 4: Young Buck’s and Chris’ t-shirts were identical in style but they were different colors.  Buck’s t-shirt in 4x5 was navy blue with a red collar and red sleeves while Chris’ t-shirt in 2x2 “7.1” was blue/gray with a green collar and green sleeves. Buck wasn’t present when Eddie took Chris to school before the earthquake but Buck drove Eddie to pick Chris up from school at the end of 2x3 “Help is Not Coming” and Chris was still wearing the same shirt.
GIFs 5 & 6: Young Buck and Chris both wanted to learn how to skateboard, they both got injured during the process and their shirts were similar.  Buck’s shirt in 4x5 was gray with navy blue and white stripes and it was short sleeved while Chris’ shirt in 3x12 “Fools” was red with black and white stripes with long sleeves.  Both Eddie and Buck were at the park after they built Chris an adaptable skateboard so that he could ride it.
GIFs 7 & 8: In 4x5, Young Buck’s hair was long blonde and curly and he wore a gray t-shirt underneath his blue jacket while in 5x11 “Outside Looking In” Chris’ hair was also long brown/blonde and curly and his t-shirt was gray too.  Buck was sitting across the table from Eddie and Chris while they were eating dinner.
GIFs 9 & 10: Young Buck’s hair was long, blonde and curly in 4x5 and Chris’ hair in 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia” was still long, blonde/brown and curly.  Chris called Buck while Eddie was having a mental breakdown and Buck rushed over to Eddie’s house.  After he arrived, he checked on Chris first then he broke down Eddie’s bedroom door and entered to help him.
GIFs 11 & 12: Young Buck wore a blue t-shirt in 4x5 while he ate cereal and Chris wore a navy blue-t-shirt while he ate cereal for breakfast in 4x14 “Survivors” as he sat across the table from his second dad, Buck.  Buck was taking care of Chris while Eddie was in the hospital.
GIFs 13 & 14: Young Buck was upset after Maddie told him she was leaving in 4x5, his t-shirt was gray and he got on his bike and left because he was upset. Chris’ t-shirt was light blue in 4x8 “Breaking Point” and he became upset after Eddie told him that he was dating again.  Chris did the same thing Buck did in 4x5, he left and went to Buck’s loft because he thought someone was going to leave him again. Both Buck and Chris left when they were upset.
GIF 15: Buck and Chris wore the same color shirts (Buck wore a white t-shirt and a blue button-down with grey stripes in it and Chris wore a gray t-shirt with white stripes and blue sleeves) in 6x1 “Let the Games Begin” while Eddie wore a tan shirt which is one of his signature colors that he wears when he’s with his family.
All previous blog posts that relate to this post have been reblogged and are currently located at the top of my blog right after the Quick Reference Guide.
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kosher-martian · 2 months ago
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MiDdLe ClAsS
Apologies for the US politics post. I saw this picture on Reddit and it really got my goat.
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If the thing from CBS News is true (and not sensationalist muckraking), is "middle class" even a meaningful term anymore? Because it sure seems like it has lost all meaning.
What does the media and our politicians even mean by "middle class" these days?
Homeownership is the primary vehicle for building generational wealth (at least in the US). So in the minds of congress and our commentariat, does a middle class person live here?
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Or does a middle class person live here?
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We often use job titles as a shorthand for understanding someone's class. What is a middle class job?
A doctor? A teacher? An engineer? A forklift operator?
I would ask some questions about pay/rent/mortgage, but that varies widely due to cost of living. A $1200/month apartment in Houston TX is waaaaay different than a $1200/month apartment in Los Angeles California.
"Middle class" is a meaningless term when it applies to such a broad swath of people living in very different conditions.
On the one hand, there often feels like there is a meaningful class distinction between your local boat salesman / doctor / lawyer and the cashier at the grocery store. The doctor goes home to a nice house in a gated community and the cashier goes home to an apartment or a rent house with some housemates. On the other hand, there is a massive difference between venture capitalist bros and the previously mentioned jobs. The VC bros control the means of production and the others does not. If anything, the salesmen and doctors and engineers (the merchant class) have more in common with the forklift operators and teachers and cashiers (the working class) than they would ever have with the elites.
The reality is that there are a handful of rich and ultra rich people who get a much larger say in the way this economy operates than the rest of us. The merchant class can try to make a cushy life for themselves where they aren't treading water like the working class, but it's not like they will ever be elites. They can soothe themselves with nicer cars and nicer houses and country club memberships all they like, but they will never gain control over the levers of power. It's often the case that they will align with the elites anyway. They love being their useful idiots. They can get into politics and become the operators of those levers, but they will never get to make the final decision on which way the levers go. That's for their paymasters to decide.
Does it really make sense to keep using the term "middle class" when there is such a perceived disparity between the merchants and the workers? The merchant class doesn't want to think of themselves as "working class" (unless they are in politics and want to appear "folksy"). And even though I know intellectually that my doctor is closer to my material condition than Elon Musk, that doesn't translate to any operating sense of class solidarity with my doctor.
At what point should we just abandon the term "middle class" altogether? I genuinely think that, if anything, the term is being overused to try to combine people who are in the merchant class with people who are working class... NOT because the elites necessarily want the merchant class to identify with the working class (they know in most cases the merchant class won't identify with the working class and vice versa), but to obfuscate the reality of class identity itself in the US.
By making the working class feel "equal" to the merchant class by way of this overprescribed class moniker, the workers will feel as though they are just (to paraphrase Steinbeck) the temporarily embarrassed middle class. I'm sure that's how my parents felt (and likely still feel). And of course the merchant class are the temporarily embarrassed rich. They'll make it out of the middle class any day now, don't you know? They have a membership to the same country club as [insert pharmaceutical executive]'s brother!
I think for the commentariat, "Middle class" has become a sort of shorthand for "homeowner" rather than any descriptor of a person's material conditions and relationship to the means of production. This explains why CBS News popped a monocle when they discovered that an increasing share of the "middle class" (read: house-poor working class) are utilizing programs they thought would only be used by "poor" people (read: rentoids).
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capnmarvell · 2 years ago
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Can’t believe I was able to snap these photos 🥲 Arlington TX, 4/1 (Night #2 aka the night of THREE Death By A Thousand Cuts bridges)
I’ve been a fan of Taylor’s since 2007. She has the same first name as me, and for a long time I hated how common it was. Every year there were at least 1 or 2 other Taylor’s in my class. And I was never the Taylor people called out to. I felt totally invisible.
Then one day driving home from school I turned on the radio and heard the first chorus of Teardrops on My Guitar and fell in love. “Who is this?” I thought. I’d never heard this singer. Once the song was over the deejay said it was Taylor Swift, a new artist who’s album just came out a few months prior. That was it for me.
I asked my dad to buy me her Debut CD, and played it on repeat on my little portable stereo in my room. Taylor helped me love my name again. She felt like the friend I didn’t have at that age. She was exactly what little 11 year old Taylor needed that day in 2007.
For years I dreamed of seeing her live. My family could never afford concert tickets, and to be fair my parents also had no idea when she was touring and how to even go about buying concert tickets, and I was never really on the internet until I was about 16 so I didn’t even know when she was touring either. We were all horribly internet-challenged 😅. I even remember when I’d learned she had a concert after the fact, because girls from my school would come in the following school day showing off their merch and talking all about it and just being devastated I missed it. Then when I actually did know she was touring, it was just something we either could never afford, and had no way of getting to said concert 🥲.
And despite never being able to afford merch or attend concerts, I’d still always get the CDs and spend hours just getting lost in the stories Taylor told through her songs. I’ve grown with her these last 16 years. We’ve both been through loss, love, and heartbreak. I don’t think i’ll ever stop listening to her.
I lost “The Great War” for presale tickets to the Eras Tour, and chalked it all up to being another concert I can’t attend. But seeing as how big Taylor has gotten and will continue to get, I decided it’s probably now or never. So, I’m sorry, but I did buy a scalper ticket. I didn’t get any boosts for the presale, and wasn’t picked for any of the second chance sales and what have you, so unfortunately scalpers were my only choice. I don’t regret it, though, because it put me the closest I’ll ever be to Taylor in my lifetime. She put on an amazingly incredible show, one I will never, ever forget.
I got to scream the bridges of “Cruel Summer,” “Champagne Problems,” “Death By A Thousand Cuts,” and “Betty.” I cried while she sang “Marjorie,” the song I can’t listen to without thinking of the loss of my mom. And best of all I got to laugh and smile along with my favorite artist of all time, live and in person 10 ft in front of me for 3 solid hours.
I love you Taylor 💕✨
Signed, the-girl-who-loves-her-name-now Taylor
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sunnydaysunshine · 2 years ago
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Ok.
CAN WE PLEASE WELCOME, THE ORIGINAL SUNSHINE/SUNSPOT/SUNBEAM, ETC ETC in my headcanon (yeeeah I got sucked in lol)!!
This is Margarette Phelps from the first story of my series I got goin on, https://archiveofourown.org/works/45572281/chapters/114671419 (for those who wanna check it out).
Margarette Phelps (affectionately known as Marge, Mar-Mar, Sunshine, Sunspot, etc) was born May 17, 1958. A simple girl. Very boring when described by others. She cannot sing, she cannot dance (at least not sober lol), she cannot draw or write. She was born in New Orleans, LA, but moved to El Paso, TX in order to persue a healthy career in nursing (her status is currently RN). She works at the St. Mercy Hospital there, where she constantly puts up with childish teasing, ridicule, and be-litting due to her gender, race, and social life outside of work. Margarette has no friends, as she usually spends her time trying to rest when she is off the clock. Though, she suffers with night terrors that leaves her an even littler window to get proper rest.
She was always a simple woman with simple tastes, until she met the man of her life: Joseph Harbadae (secretly Joseph Cullman). 
Ever since then, her life has changed for the better.
She seemed happier. A lot more livelier. She had the hottest man on her arm that every mother of america and woman wanted. And he loves her just the same. Flaws and all. To Joseph, Margarette was never boring, dull, or simple. She lights up his world, she makes him believe that there are good people on this earth. He kind of feels guilty that he was blessed with such a wonderful woman like her. He doesn’t deserve her. But he has her. And he’s none the more happier. That is, until his role as playing the lead character “Sunny Day Jack” starts to get in the way. Those with a greed for money and power finding the littlest things of why Margarette isn’t good for him. He doesn’t care though. And neither does she.
Margarette is a sweet, kind, and caring soul. She’s very family oriented, loves driving, loves sunflowers (though, not the color). She loves fashion, though she tries to keep it simple while wearing colors that brings out her naturally dark skin. Like any other woman, she can be insecure at times. Even more insecure that in the eyes of society at the time, she is seen as undesirable. She always tries to stay positive. Never in her life has she gotten into any sort of major trouble. She was always the good girl. Which makes it a wonder why she would fall for a former bad boy like Joseph.
Again, if you want to find out more, go read my fic Living on A03. Its not quite done yet, but it is entering its final stages.
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fuckedprophet · 1 year ago
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🍍🍅🥭
🥭  :    how important to my muse is their hometown,  or where they’re from?  are they proud of it,  or considered a hometown hero?  did they move away,  or do they wish to?
 He's  from  copperwood,  tx. Its  a  small  middle  of  no  where  rural  town  that  sits  off  hwy  87  at  the  very  bottom  of  tx. It  aint  got  nothing  more  than  four  gas  stations,  two  fast  food  chain  joints,  five  churches,  and  maybe  a  max  population  of  5,501  residents. It  aint  much  of  nothing  sitting  on  the  very  edge  of  a  swamp  and  woods;  and  its  where  hell  came  to  exist  in  the  run  down  craftsman  the  mcmeen  family  rented  thanks  to  the  church. Dallas'  hometown  doesn't  mean  much  to  him,  not  really. There  are  about  a  handful  or  two  of  folks  he'd  think  kindly  of  and  the  rest  he'd  watch  drown  if  the  tide  rose  too  high. They  turned  a  blind  eye  a  lot  of  them  did  to  what  his  father  did  to  him;  and  the  very  night  he  killed  his  father  a  couple  of  them  even  accused  him  of  staging  the  whole  thing. They  wanted  him  to  be  the  monster,  not  their  pastor  they  let  chaperon  their  kids  church  camp  bus  rides. 
He  isn't  considered  a  homeown  hero,  if  anything  he's  considered  an  unfortunate  soul  that  survived  and  now  has  to  bear  the  burden  of  what  his  father  did. He  at  least  isn't  alone  --  his  grandmother  picked  him  up  when  he  turned  16  and  he  moved  his  ass  out  of  copperwood,  tx  and  now  lives  in  cold  river,  ma. Its  better,  not  too  many  bible  thumpers  up  there  to  demand  he  show  respect  to  his  dead  beat  shit  father. 
🍎  :    how stable is my muse’s mental health?  have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they or should they attend therapy?  
 Not  very. We'll  be  110%  honest  here,  he  is  not  mentally  stable  or  sound. He's  been  through  too  much  and  his  doctors  explained  that  to  him  when  he  was  being  watched. He'd  come  to  them  point  blank  and  asked  them  what  exactly  they  were  looking  for,  and  they'd  explained  to  them  after  he  delicately  said  '  i  don't  want  bullshit  answers. I  don't  want  sugar  coated. What  are  you  looking  for  in  me?  '  they  were  trying  to  see  if  he  showed  symptoms  like  his  father,  if  he  bordered  on  possibly  picking  up  where  his  dad  left  off. I  mean  after  all  this  was  a  15  year  old  boy  who  brutally  bashed  his  father's  (40)  head  in  with  a  book  end  out  of  his  sisters  bed  room. They  were  a  tad  concerned. 
He  was  diagnosed  with  ptsd,  depression,  anxiety,  and  a  few  other  things  depersonalization  disorder  as  well  as  dissociative  amnesia. The  amnesia  cleared  up  after  a  couple  of  weeks,  but  he  was  still  being  watched  for  it  there  after  in  case  something  triggered  him. He  had  several  therapist  from  the  age  of  16-18  before  one  finally  stuck. Eleven  years  he's  been  seeing  the  same  man  and  regards  him  highly,  they  are  in  each  others  emergency  contacts  believe  it  or  not. He  takes  therapy  rather  seriously  and  because  of  it  he  has  gotten  better  with  expressing  his  emotions,  it  was  his  therapist  that  encouraged  him  to  write  songs  and  follow  his  dream  of  being  a  guitarist.   
🍍  :    how comfortable is my muse in their body?  how do they feel about their height,  weight,  strength,  and body type?  how important is being attractive to them?  
Now?  very. Before  dallas  struggled  a  lot  with  self  image,  especially  after  he  healed  and  saw  his  scars. He  went  through  his  teen  years  thinking  he  was  rather  ugly  due  to  the  damage  his  father  had  done  to  him. It  was  a  struggle  a  lot  growing  up  and  he  got  to  the  point  where  he  didn't  want  to  be  shirtless,  he  didn't  wear  short  sleeves  or  anything  that  showed  his  arms. He  was  skinnier  back  then,  lanky  and  tall  and  while  he  is  genetically  dispositioned  to  be  muscular  and  larger  with  his  mental  issues  he  wasn't  taking  the  best  care  of  himself.
Now  as  an  adult  he  is  very  confident  in  how  he  looks,  he  has  worked  endlessly  to  cultivate  the  appearance  he  wants  and  has  succeeded. He  has  tattoos  all  over  covering  his  scars  so  they  are  visible  and  he  feels  more  himself  wearing  short  sleeves  and  sleeveless  shirts. While  he  hates  lifting  he  does  put  it  into  a  regimen  to  do  so  just  so  he  is  able  to  use  his  upper  body  strength. He  runs  and  walks  a  lot,  he  swims  a  lot  too  now  --  focusing  on  things  that  put  him  at  a  higher  level  of  endurance  rather  than  brute  strength. (  not  to  mention  that  when  he  does  get  tapped  into  his  corrupt  blood  and  nephilim  blood  he  does  inherit  a  extreme  amount  of  strength  )
He  is  grateful  to  his  height,  he  enjoys  being  tall  --  he  cant  imagine  not  being  able  to  see  over  peoples  heads  and  the  thought  makes  him  anxious  and  just  he  doesn't  like  the  idea. His  weight  doesn't  bother  him,  when  his  hit  around  twenty  two  and  started  taking  care  of  himself  he  bulked  up  and  gained  weight. He  looked  at  it  as  the  heavier  you  are  the  harder  it  is  to  get  you  off  your  feet  or  knock  you  over,  he  was  right. Now  he  is  very  content  with  his  body  type;  he  doesn't  dislike  how  he's  shaped  or  how  anything  on  him  looks. He  is  even  proud  of  how  he  looks  now. 
 Not  obsessed. Lets  put  it  that  way,  he  knows  how  to  dress  now,  he  knows  how  to  appear  to  others  --  he's  gotten  very  good  at  dressing  himself  according  to  who  he  is  surrounded  by. He  isn't  the  most  stylish  but  he  isn't  hopeless  and  while  he  doesn't  always  fix  his  hair;  he  knows  being  attractive  will  get  you  farther. He  has  learned  people  help  pretty  people  and  if  he  can  be  pretty;  he  tries  his  best. 
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javireyes · 2 years ago
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ABOUT:
Name: Javier Reyes
Nickname(s): Javi
Age: 40
Hometown: outside of Houston, TX
Family: Logan Rivera (sister), 2 younger sisters
BIO: (under read more)
(TW: abuse, injury)
Javier Reyes had a rough start to his life, which should have been his first clue about how the rest of his life would go. He was born to Valentina and Mateo Reyes, though he didn’t live with them long as they didn’t want anything to do with him. They were about to put him up for adoption into the system but his aunt and uncle offered to bring him into the family as they didn’t have any children of their own just yet. He had lived with his aunt and uncle since the day he was released from the hospital as a baby and not a word was spoken about the fact that he was adopted until he was older. As far as he was concerned, Valentina and Mateo were his aunt and uncle and not his birth parents until he was around 6 years old when he was told about how he was adopted and who his birth parents were. You would think it would be to just tell him, but it was more to hold it over his head, like how he should be grateful to them for taking him in. They out him into rodeo events that he could do and got him going into the entire sport, making it known that they expected him to be in the rodeo and do well in it. He hated every moment of it and he hated the mere thought that the animals he was interacting with didn’t have a choice in what they were doing, at least when it came to the bull riding. 
The abuse started when he was young, but it didn’t get physical until he was about 6, when he started actually competing in rodeo events with other kids his age. Javier would either try to refuse to participate or he wouldn’t perform well and that’s when the hitting started. It’s also when the hours and hours of practice was forced upon him and when he would complain about being hungry or wanting to go home, he would suffer under the hand of his father, told to ‘man up’ and continue, which he did. When he was 8, his first sister was born, the first biological child of his parents and he loved her already. He vowed on the day she was born that he would do anything he could do to protect her from being hurt, the same when his other sisters were eventually born. He would step in every time to take the physical brunt of their parents. They grew older and he continued to shield his sisters from the abuse, continued to make his name in bull riding and he never told a soul of his parents. He would win every even but nothing was good enough and they would constantly remind him that he should be grateful they took him in and gave him what they called a “loving” home. He wanted to run away so many times in his youth but never did as to protect his sisters in the only way that he knew how, without their knowledge.
On the day that Javier turned 18, he was greeted with his stuff by the door, not a single happy birthday, at least not from his parents, and he was told to leave. He didn’t even get to say goodbye to his sisters, which probably hurt the most. He stayed away though, scared that any attempt at talking to them would only result in them getting hurt. Without anywhere else to go, Javier decided to join the army, and he left to boot camp almost immediatly. He tried his best to keep tabs on his sisters, but it was hard to do while he was so far away. He was finally able to get an address to send Logan letters from where he was and he would send a new letter every week whether it was from a base in the US, or from a base in a different country, which is where he spent a lot of time, most of his time in the service actually. He did write a letter explaining everything their parents had done to him but he didn’t send it, nervous for some reason to have Logan read the letter.
Javier was in the military from the age of 18 till now, 40. He has just recently been medically and honorablly discharged after he and his team had hit an IED and he was left injured, though alive. He was one of the lucky ones to survive. He spent some time in the hospital and though he walks with a slight limp now, he is okay and tries his best to hide the injury. He doesn’t know exactly what he is going to do now that he doesn’t have the army to fall back on and nowhere to really go, which is how he found himself in Salt Flats, Texas. It’s where his younger sister lived now and she was all he really had.
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cerseiwexler · 9 days ago
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For both Mae and Zeet!
💯🍎🍝🤒
💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.
mae: a) her birth name was allison! she legally changed it to mary jane aka mae @ 18 when she moved to la to pursue a film career. b) she comes from a creative family — mom’s a sculptor, dad’s a landscape designer, and sister is a hairdresser. c) she is a natural blonde, it’s just more of a honey shade than the platinum she highlights it up to.
zeet: a) they’re pretty crafty! as in, arts and crafts. specifically embroidery, sewing, crochet, and leatherwork — things they can do with their hands. b) they have a bunch of pretty classic tattoos on both arms, and a snake going up their side. c) surprisingly, they’re fairly well-read, at least fictionally speaking. they don’t read super often, but when they do it really sticks.
🍎 RED APPLE — where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?
mae was born in austin tx! she moved to la @ 18 to pursue a film career, then to albuquerque @ 26 when bills got too high. she likes austin plenty and enjoys visiting her parents there — it’s got a really vivid creative/arts scene, which is the kind of thing she lives for, and she’s still in touch with some of her childhood friends so it’s nice to catch up sometimes.
zeet was born in rural new mexico at a small hospital not too far from their grandmother’s house. i need to do a bit more research and decide exactly where said house is located — i have a general idea of the area I want it to go in, but gotta know more about the towns etc to figure out the exact location. but yeah they like it there just fine! feels like home yk.
🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?
mae is like me in that she could eat cheese fruit and bread for every meal and be perfectly happy that way. her maternal grandparents are french, she’s got brie and baguettes in her dna! she’s also got a bit of a sweet tooth and enjoys a nice baked good here and there.
zeet’s palate makes sense for their lifestyle. they gravitate toward simple, hearty foods that give a lot of energy, steak n’ potatoes and that sort of thing, and have a taste for regional specialties like all the various green chile dishes from the area.
🤒 FACE WITH THERMOMETER — does your oc get sick easily?
WELL both of them have some chronic health issues, so to a degree they’re both always sick. neither of them have their entire medical situation diagnosed and figured out and squared away or anything, but what i know that they don’t is that they’ve both got endometriosis and joint problems, and mae also gets migraines not-infrequently.
but as far as acute illness goes, their immune systems are a little closer to average. mae’s a super affectionate extrovert so she breathes the same air as her loved ones frequently and can sometimes pick up little colds/sinus infections more often than some people as a result, but that’s more a result of increased exposure than a natural affinity for getting sick. likewise, sometimes zeet stays sick longer than average even if they don’t get sick any more than usual, because they’ll try to get back on their feet before they’re ready and overexert themself.
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thefootnotes · 9 days ago
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whumptober masterlist ✮
one month, 96 prompts, 51953 words, 9 pairings, several hundred tags, 31 fics, the 911verse and a whole lot of late nights have built up my completed whumptober. daily fics, spanning the month of october and containing physical and emotional pain for 911/ls characters, that have turned into a collection of some of my best works.
all 31 works for @whumptober 2024 are listed, linked and summarised under the cut ! includes a number of fics for @jeddieweek x
you're on the other side, as the skyline splits in two 1 - race against the clock: search party, panic attack, "if only we could hold on" mcd, la + tx, hen wilson & eddie diaz, 2.8k
Eddie’s good at his job, generally; he keeps a level head with his patients, he doesn’t take risks beyond what’s necessary, and he carries more compassion than the average person, he likes to think. And his friends are good at their jobs, too. He knows that. But when things get personal, when it’s Chris or Tommy or someone from the 118 on the line, he loses sight of it all. He loses the balance, the level head, the medical training and the firefighter training, it all goes down the drain. Marjan grabs his shoulder, dragging him out of the helicopter and further down the hillside, and all the way he feels like he can’t breathe; it’s not just the smoke that’s choking him out. Or the one where Hen’s gone missing, Eddie’s trying like hell to keep his head, and desperate times create panicked firefighters.
i'm home alone, and you're god knows where 2 - trust issues: amusement park, role reversal, "you got away with crime while the knife's in my back"no warnings, tx, carlos reyes/tk strand, 1k
A small mumble, something incoherent, comes from over by the table; Carlos rounds the couch, flicking on a lamp and sighing lowly as warm light floods the room. The scene before him isn’t a regular one, but it isn’t something he’s not seen, either. Only once before, right after TK first officially moved in with him. That was one of the only times, really, that Carlos sincerely believed TK would relapse; between the closed-off air and the tinge of crushing emotion, he truly thought that that would be it. Not least because he wasn’t even sure what was wrong; he’d merely come home to find TK sitting on the floor in front of the couch, eyes bloodshot and phone sitting open in front of him. His phone, sitting open to Carlos’ texts. Or the one where TK’s past always feels like his future, and Carlos tries to undo the harm Alex did.
lay on the horn, to prove that it haunts me 3 - set up for failure: fingerprints, wrongfully arrested, "i warned you" no warnings, la, evan buckley & athena grant, 1.4k
Starting a fire, a flickering flame that eats away at not only someone’s possessions, but their past? Their home, their security, their memories? He’s spent more than half his adult life trying to save even fragments of people’s lives from the chaos of the flames, and anyone who would do the opposite, who would actively destroy them, doesn’t deserve even an ounce of his respect or kindness. So to be accused of such is not only a terrifying experience, but a personal offence, to him. Or the one where Evan Buckley is charged with arson, and he works out who his real family are.
forest that once was green, colored black by killing machines 4 - hallucinations: hypnosis, sensory deprivation, "you're still alive in my head"ptsd/discussions of dead characters, la, evan buckley & eddie diaz, 1.5k
But when Eddie turned up, when they first became close, it woke Buck up a little. He educated himself; on the troops in Afghanistan, on the tumultuous violence and the horrific sights, on the experiences of incomparable emotional and physical agony. There was more than one night, after that first shift with Eddie, where Buck would spend hours twisted in his bedsheets thinking over the pages and pages of military history and soldier accounts and articles from Texan newspapers about Eddie’s medal. He was determined, really, to understand what the man had been through; that was the only way he knew how to help, was to understand, was to learn. Or the one where Eddie’s past won’t leave him be, Buck doesn’t know how to help, and the military took more than anyone’s inclined to admit.
i'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me 5 - sunburn: healing salve, heatstroke, "if my pain will stretch that far" no warnings, la, evan & maddie buckley, 1.2k
“Evan, you cannot keep doing this.” “Get off my back.” Evan seethes, pulling out of Maddie’s touch. Her hands are cold, as is the cream she’s applying; but her touch is pressing on his back, and the ointment stings on the burns, leaving Evan gritting his teeth. “I just forgot, okay?” “It’s not okay.” Maddie insists, grabbing his wrist and holding his arm still as she spreads the white cream down his shoulder, fingers careful but firm. “D’you know what these kinds of burns can do? Melanoma, DNA damage, abnormal cell development. Photoaging. Cancer.” Or the one where Maddie’s leaving, Buck’s pissed, and the burns on the outside aren’t the ones that hurt the worst.
i keep telling myself that it's them and not me 6 - not realising they're injured: unhealthy coping mechanisms, healed wrong, "it's not my blood" blood/injury, tx, tarlos, carlos reyes & mateo chavez, 1.9k
Carlos’ knuckles are rough and tender where they meet the fabric of Mateo’s shirt, and his eyes are bleary with tears, stinging and bloodshot from the dust blowing around them. Wind whips around his ears, almost taunting him with howls that feel like agony. The pouring rain does nothing to dampen the brown grit flying through the air around them, the smack of water on the road echoing through the street, accented by screams and the distant intonation of sirens. Or the one where Carlos has to get Mateo to safety, but his own pain falls by the wayside in the process.
are you with me, are you drifting through your doubt? 7 - only for emergencies; unconventional weapon, magic with cost, "it's us or them" injury/mental illness, la, christopher diaz & evan buckley, 3.5k
These thoughts, these ideas of who he is and where he fits in, seem to sit on him a lot now. They weigh on his mind, and they’re heavy now, looking at these photographs, until Buck gives a small whisper of some choice words that Eddie would not be happy to know he’s using in front of Chris. “What?” Christopher asks, looking over to Buck until a shrill yell comes from outside his rolled-down window, and he turns to see what’s happening; most people are still in their cars, but two cars ahead a man’s climbed on the windshield of a silver Ford, face twisted in panic and shirt stained in several places. Or the one where Christopher has a lot to learn, Buck can’t be the one to teach him, and the people society shuns are the ones they end up fearing.
all of your falling, does it get exhausting, have you gotten sleep? 8 - sleep deprivation: isolation chamber, forced to stay awake, "leave the lights on" mental illness, la, evan buckley/tommy kinard, 2k
But when he swings open the loft door, he knows immediately that this is not Evan at his best; the lights are all on, which is rare, because Evan usually packs it all in for the night before Tommy gets home. The house is cold and the heatings off, the curtains are all drawn but there’s a thick wooden cutting board abandoned on the kitchen counter, two knives set on it with capsicum, carrot and zucchini. Or the one where Evan cracks under the weight of his own thoughts, Tommy witnesses his worst times for the first time, and sometimes all you can do is be there.
i'll always be looking for you in the distance, wherever i am 9 - obsession: broken window, bruises, "frame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble" post mcd, tx, carlos reyes & gabriel reyes, 1.2k
Carlos knows that this investigation is beyond just him; he isn’t just out of his depth, he’s going out of his mind. Every time he thinks he understands something, there’s a fresh piece of information that changes things, a fresh perspective he hasn’t taken, a fresh alibi that wrecks his theory. If anything, having so many clues and leads should be satisfying; instead, it’s pushing him in circles of suspects and innocence, every hour spent on the case feeling the same as the one before. A waste. Or the one where Carlos is investigating his father’s case, every street leads back to the beginning, and a window takes the brunt of his frustration.
when i scream, you're my echo, will you cry if i let go? 10 - blow to the head; slurred words, passing out from the pain, "i can't think straight" + A7: no-holds-barred beatdown blood/injury, la, evan buckley & eddie diaz, 1.5k
Of course, when everything happened with the illegal boxing ring years ago, Buck was angry. At Eddie for getting mixed up in it, at Lena for her involvement, at himself, for not knowing what was going on. Eddie was putting Christopher’s last remaining parent in danger, but he was also putting Buck at the risk of losing one of the most important people in his life, and the latter didn’t know whether he was even allowed to be mad at him for that part of it all. It was frustrating, and it was overwhelming, and it was the kind of anger that sat inside Buck, like rust growing over every part of his life until all of his loved ones were red with his pain. Or the one where Christopher’s gone, Eddie returns to fighting to cope with his frustration, and the anger in Buck’s chest changes form, but doesn’t ever quite leave him.
you're not even here, but you're doing my head in 11 - seeing double; convenience store, loneliness, "leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist" no warnings, la, christopher diaz & eddie diaz, 1.5k
And Eddie thought, when Shannon left and he created this strength, this solidity, that nothing would break it. That no loss, no pain, could ever cause cracks in the foundation that was steadily built on his fatherhood. It wasn’t inherent, that strength; it was something he worked for, something he learned, and something he’d begun not to even notice. It wasn’t going anywhere, he’d thought. But then Chris left. And the strength did, too. Or the one where Christopher’s still in Texas, Eddie’s still in the convenience store, and the space between them feels infinite.
when will it stop being cool, to be quietly misunderstood? 12 - starvation: underground caverns, cannabalism, "just a little more" ednos, la, evan buckley & his parents, 1k
This idea, this thing that grew itself in his brain, started out as a tactic. A plan. A way to make his father catch his eye, make his mother look at him; not just look at him even, not look at his face, but see him, really see him. See the parts of him that aren’t all that pretty, the pieces that he hates to see in the mirror, and want it. Evan’s only ever wanted his parents to want him the way other people do, the way Maddie does, and this was supposed to help him do that. Or the one where Evan Buckley would do everything right if it would make his parents care, but he’s had to come up with other tactics.
i'm so sorry, i'm so confused, just tell me, am i out of time? 13 - team as a family: familial curse, multiple whumpees, "death will do us part" blood/injury/mcd, la, bobby nash & 118 firehouse crew, 1.2k
“I’m telling you, my name is Henrietta Wilson and I’m with the Los Angeles Fire Department. I need to speak to Bobby Nash, he’s here, he’s the technical advisor, it’s urgent, please, I need to talk to him.” “You have to go through security–” “Hen?” Bobby practically shoots out of his chair, waving away the crew and ignoring the scoff of the director on the far side of the room. “Hey, she’s a friend.” Or the one where mistakes have been made, it could cost someone’s life, and Bobby just wishes he had been there.
and i still talk to you, when i'm screaming at the sky 14 - left for dead: hunting gear, blackmail, "because i want you to know what it feels like to be haunted" post mcd/grief, tx, carlos reyes & owen strand, 1.7k
Carlos isn’t sure how he got to that point, that moment; he thought he’d done it right. He thought that he’d figured it out, he’d found the bad guy, he could take the punishment into his own hands and dish out the consequences, and it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t affect TK, it wouldn’t affect their yet-to-be marriage, it wouldn’t hurt him. They’ve always been separate, in his mind; his work, his family, and his Tyler. They’ve been three separate things, three separate lives that he leads, and that was how he wanted it. He’s gotten too used to one not affecting another, he realises sharply, his second whiskey pouring down his throat. Or the one where Carlos nearly makes a grave mistake, Owen tries to help him with his grief, and a man being dead doesn’t make him innocent.
wishing these memories would fade, they never do 15 - childhood trauma: painful hug, moment of clarity, "i did good, right? post cd, la, evan buckley & bobby nash, 1.6k
Given the complexities of his childhood, Buck should, in all self-honesty, be more adjusted to this idea by now. He spent his fair share of time in the emergency room or the backs of ambulances – as well as one or two cop cars, but that’s mostly irrelevant – and thus has plenty of experience watching teenagers doing the same things he did, getting hurt the same way he did. It’s been eight years since he joined the 118, and he’s had thousands of familiar-feeling calls in that time – and far more than one motorcycle crash. Or the one where the civvies are like mirrors to Buck, childhood is better remembered, and Bobby seems to know just what to say.
this is the last damn thing that i hold close to me 16 - necrosis: swamp, wound cleaning, "no, i can't feel anything' injury/infection, tx, carlos reyes/tk strand, 1.5k
It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to work out what an effort Carlos has been making since TK voiced his concerns of them drifting apart, and the improvement has been both significant and obvious; not just in their relationship, but in Carlos’ mood, in his demeanour. Getting through sex without falling asleep has definitely gotten easier, because they just went for two rounds for the first time since their honeymoon, and Carlos is still pressing languid kisses to TK’s neck. Or the one where Carlos is insatiable, TK’s paramedic instincts kick in, and they’re as strong as ever for all their flaws.
but tonight your apartment had so much appeal 17 - nowhere else to go: ruined map, shipwrecked, "we had a good run" + A2: communication barrier addiction (ref.), tx, tk strand & nancy gillian
She was hoping that would bring a smile out, but TK’s face remains fairly stony, the quirk at the corner of his mouth coming far more from a place of politeness than genuine amusement. Nancy gestures to the sofa, and TK sits while she grabs two sodas from the fridge, passing one to him and flopping onto her beanbag in the corner with the other. Or the one where TK and Carlos broke up, Nancy doesn’t know how to help, and sometimes the only place you can go is the best place you could be.
we're too young to drown, deep in dirty waters 18 - revenge: unreliable narrator, loss of identity, "i see what's mine and i take it" + A3: finding old messages post mcd/grief, tx, carlos reyes/tk strand & gabriel reyes, 2.1k
The photographs on the walls feature a Gabriel that never existed; a man who had no flaws, a man remembered by everyone as the smartest, the strongest. A family man, apparently. It all makes Carlos scoff mentally, but then the guilt overtakes him, and he returns a few days later to assist his mother with her latest panicked dilemma. Or the one where Gabriel left certain things behind, and Carlos isn’t sure how to feel about it all.
i don't know who i would be, if you ever leave 19 - blood trail: abandoned cabin, one way out, "is there anybody alive out there?" blood/injury, tx, carlos reyes/tk strand, 1.7k
TK tries not to involve himself in Carlos’ work with the Rangers; it’s complicated, and often confidential, and rarely as life-threatening as his own work. So he tries to stay two steps back, waiting for his husband to open up, to speak his mind, to share whatever case or suspect or civilian is the owner of the weight he’s bearing at the time. It doesn’t often happen, and when it does it’s usually very little, but if he has to go away for work he always makes sure TK knows exactly where he’s going, when he should be finished, and which Rangers or police officers should be with him. Or the one where Rangers Reyes and Campbell disappear during a work trip out to the hill country, and TK takes matters into his own hands to find them.
we ain't angry at you love, you're the greatest thing we've lost 20 - emotional angst: shoulder to cry on, giving permission to die, "it's not your fault" mcd, la, evan buckley/eddie diaz, 1.4k
Which shouldn’t be such a terrifying prospect, because Buck is known also for being one to go against the odds, to fight chance, and to win. But this time, Eddie’s not so sure. Eddie’s not so sure that Buck can come back from it, this time; regardless of his pure resilience, his determination, his stubbornness, Eddie just… doesn’t see it happening, not realistically. Not knowing what he does, about Buck’s injuries and about lightning and about loss and about death. Or the one where Buck was struck by lightning, Eddie knows that he needs to let go, and sometimes it’s a disservice to keep someone’s heart beating for our own sake.
i'm a falling star, a glimmer lighting up these cotton streets 21 - body horror: tattoo gun, spirit possession, "let the bedsheet soak up the tears" + jeddie week day one: LOVE MAKES A FAMILY no warnings, la, josh russo/eddie diaz, 1.5k
“We knew he wouldn’t be all-in, straight away, though. Like, we knew that, we were prepared for that.” Eddie insists, waving at the space around him. And they did – when Christopher announced he was returning from Texas, Josh sat him down and opened the conversation of what this would mean for them. The answer was… Eddie didn’t know; but it would take Christopher at least a couple weeks to warm up to the idea, he’d guessed. “I mean, when Buck first started going out with Tommy, it took two months for Christopher to be okay with even speaking to him.” Or the one where Josh endures an awkward dinner, the jury’s still out on the Diaz-Russo family, and Eddie’s love is the best reassurance.
it's like a mountain that's been weighing on my conscience 22 - bleeding through bandages: tourniquet, reopening wounds, "oh thats not good" + jeddie week day two: TRICKS + TREATS blood/injury, la, josh russo/eddie diaz & christopher diaz, 2.1k
But this is Christopher’s first Halloween back in Los Angeles; he came home not long after Christmas, and in the months since January has returned completely to comfort in Eddie’s presence. The rift between them faded so much in the time back together that, despite Eddie insisting Christopher could go with his friends if he wanted, the teenager asked if he could go with Eddie, Josh, Buck and Tommy instead. Or the one where Christopher and his dad are finally back on balanced ground, but Eddie can’t help feeling like he’s about to wreck it all over again.
we were closer, now it's over, but it doesn't mean it's closure 23 - forced choice: public display, broken pedestal, "i'm doing this for you" post mcd/grief, la, evan buckley & eddie diaz, 2.1k
It’s no small feat, what Eddie did; the crowd filming outside caught every single moment of it all. Him running back into the building, the IC hollering through the radio for him to stop as dust billowed around the ground floor; the echo of cracking concrete grinding against itself, and the woman stumbling down the steps as it all gives way, an agonizing yell bursting out between the huge crash of rebar and aggregate before silence as the dust settled. Or the one where Eddie loses his life in the line of duty, and Buck realizes the realities of the loss.
every single thing to come has turned into ashes 24 - radiation poisoning: collapsed building, equipment failure, "i never knew daylight could be so violent" + jeddie week day four: MISSING YOU post mcd/grief, la, eddie diaz/josh russo & bobby nash, 2.1k
Buck’s voice keeps Josh up at night; the splintering, cracking of his tone and the pain when he says Eddie’s name. The howling agony that seemed to rip from his chest, his grief like a creature clawing its way out, tearing flesh in it’s desperation. And then there were the faces, from every direction; pity, and fear, and the rough impress of grief on Maddie’s expression, because this isn’t just another man down, it isn’t just another mayday. It’s Eddie. Or the one where Eddie’s been gone for a month, now, Bobby wants to offer his help, and Josh can’t work out how he’s supposed to feel.
don't tell me about your problems if you're not tryna solve them 25 - surgery: stitches, being monitored, "it's for your own good" + jeddie week day five: PET PEEVES post injury/recovery, la, eddie diaz/josh russo, 1.4k
“Eddie, I love you. And as much as it scares the shit out of me, I want you to go back to work, I know how much your job means to you, and I know that you’re really helping people by being there. But if you go back in this state, then you might not be able to do that. Or worse, you might not make it home from your shift. So cut it out, this is for your own good.” Josh hates how sharp his voice sounds when he speaks, how every line is delivered with some sort of twisted fear, but not a single word of it is a lie. Eddie’s body needs time to heal, to recuperate. Or the one where Eddie’s cabin fever is getting to him, Josh is offering the best that he can, and the best medics make the worst doctors.
and the words i most regret are the ones i never meant to leave 26 - nightmares: breakfast table, parting words of regret, "i'm haunted by the lies that i have lvoed, the actions i have hated" post mcd/grief, la, eddie diaz & carla price & evan buckley, 1.2k
Eddie hasn’t heard anything from Chimney, or Maddie, or Buck, for that matter, since he left the firehouse; the last one seems somewhat irrelevant, seeing as the last they spoke Eddie essentially told him to fuck off in the middle of a supermarket, but the chill down Eddie’s spine echoes the disturbance in Carla’s voice. And if his gut is right, if the panic creeping like sweat across his skin is warranted, then something very, very wrong has happened. Or the one where Buck loses his life right in the middle of the lawsuit, and Eddie regrets all the last words he spoke.
at the end of every road, you were good to me 27 - voiceless: laboratory, muzzled, "i have no mouth and i must scream" post mcd/grief, la, christopher diaz & firehouse 118 crew, 2k
When Buck spoke at the funeral, it became really obvious to the fifteen-year-old – and to everyone else in the room – that he was not going to be the kind of person to sit down and allow everyone to talk over Eddie’s shortcomings. He’d been pointed and harsh about the video, and he’d tried to eradicate the weird sort of savior image that’s been painted in Eddie’s memory. And it worked, mostly – people stopped acting like Eddie was some hero who died saving someone, and started really treating his death like that of a fellow human. Painful and tragic, rather than heroic and brilliant. Or the one where Christopher is feeling the loss of his father, Buck is trying his best to help, and sometimes you just don’t know what to say.
if he ain't ever coming back, i'ma need some whiskey glasses 28 - denial: cctv, exposure, "they caught me red-handed" + A9: secrets revealed substance abuse, la, josh russo/eddie diaz, 1.1k
Eddie realises exactly two things, when the pounding his head echoes back into realisation and his awareness brings itself high enough: one, he is in a bed - and two, it is not his own. The sheets against his skin are soft, an airy, light blue shade lit by the cloudy glare coming in from the window. The walls on every side are bare, painted a cool grey shade, and the furniture is all white timber. The bed creaks quietly when he sits up, and the room comes into somewhat of a focus. Or the one where Eddie got a little too out of it in a bar, Josh brought him home for the night, and it’s hard to feel valuable when you’re nobody’s first pick.
trying hard not to be, i'm better when you're next to me 29 - fatigue: labyrinth, burnout, "who said you could rest?" no warnings, la, josh russo/eddie diaz, 1.4k
And there’s something in it all, something tender and warm and caring, that Eddie loves; but it still sparks defensiveness in his chest and panic in his stomach and an independent sort of fight in every muscle in his body, pushing and pushing outwards and pressing against his brain so much it makes him dizzy, until it all spills over and bursts into too–harsh words and useless insults. Or the one where Eddie’s overworking himself just to avoid Josh, and the rift between them is more than physical.
made it out alive, but i think i lost it 30 - recovery: hospital bed, holding back tears, "what have i done?" + A11: Survivors Guilt mcd/grief, la, evan buckley & christopher diaz, 1.3k
The makeshift-hospital sheets are pooled around his hips, and the lights are a cool, sterile white, dim in the late evening; his lungs heave with his breaths, and he’s dizzy with the way everything rushes back, clarity and confusion hurtling toward him in one twisted package of a sudden flood of thought. He’s only slept for a few hours, but he feels like it’s been years – and yet he’s entirely unrested, all at once. Or the one where Christopher didn’t make it out of the tsunami, even Eddie can’t seem to blame Buck, and sometimes you just need to feel hated.
fights turn into making up, and making up turns into love 31 - asking for help: therapy, making amends, "i'm alive, i'm just not well" substance abuse (ref.), la, josh russo/eddie diaz, 1.8k
Neither of them miss the curious glance that Maddie gives them when they walk off, nor do they pay mind to it; Josh links his hand in Eddie’s and pulls him onto the floor, skin sparking like fireworks up both of their arms and the warm light of the bar bathing them in a golden glow. The bassline thumps beneath their feet, aching through Eddie’s bones and blending into the swarm of light and sound and their people around them, Buck and Chimney hollering every word of the song blaring from the speakers while Josh and Eddie jump around. Or the one where Eddie gets out of his head, Josh gets into his heart, and there’s truly never been a better dance partner.
my ao3 whumptober series my whumptober playlist
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pineyw00dsshesquatch · 8 months ago
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The more I learn about food the less I'm inclined to defer to 'authenticity' for tradition's sake and just try to research to an insane extent cuz I'm paranoid of being a culture vulture. I'm a pasty bench who cooks a lot of Tex Mex, so I'm always quick to point out who I learned what from and that it's just one way out of buckets of techniques, methods and ingredients. Not matter what I'm goddamn cooking, tbh. I just want to make zero claims that I have any goddamn authority besides "cook TX good". My style is Texas gawdammit.
My husband's family have been in central TX for a few generations which is distinct from East TX where we are now and I have no idea what regions of Mexico his family is connected to cuz TX is big but Mexico is HUGE and just WAS Texas for a long ass time. Texans who pretend Mexican influence isn't integral to our state are garbage trash and deserve to be carried off and devoured by the Lechuza owl woman of legend.
I have never had corned beef and cabbage but a side of my family is actually Czech so they put sausage in that shit, though my grandpa was born and raised in Ohio and got here (Texas) as quick as he could. I know he used to make his own sausage, and I'm crushed I never got to learn from him before he passed. My dad has taught me how to smoke brisket with the vertical pit my grandpa made from a propane tank tho. Some of the best meats etc TX is known for is from that magic of immigrantion and swapping techniques, methods, ingredients etc.
Second wave European immigrants like Germans and Czechs infiltrated the TX Hill country so you'll get billboards for Kolache bakeries and smoke houses out there. West Texas, where I have spent the least time, does incredible things with dove breasts and jalapeno cream cheese. Where I live now is bumped up on Louisiana so there's a lot more Cajun and Creole influence here than the rest of the state. Cajun and Creole are their own dense microcosm of 2 differentiating cuisines/cultures from literally dozens of different cultural groups crammed into one little state shaking out their distinctions over the centuries. Captain Ben Sisko's dad will tell you, Creole is NOT Cajun!
What makes so much of the "authenticity" harder is thanks to white supremacy, many specifics are just lost to time. My husband only recently found out from his great tió, that his great grandfather was Apache who went through state assimilation and had his name changed. A cousin on my side has a Creole grandmother who was apparently insistent she was French Creole and 'nothing else'. I ain't saying she was fibbing, just pointing out that she made such a a distinction. Creole is usually associated with Afro and indigenous folks compared to Cajun though it is absolutely not a rule, but people still carry a negative association for poop reasons. To reiterate, I am white, my ancestor got to come across the pond and keep fuckin 'Hvizdos' where my husband's ancestor was US born and forced to assimilate. People way more researched and knowledgeable than me have spilled ink on these phenomena that are infinitely more useful. I just love the multicultural history of my state and how it's specialized our food and want to honor the people who've lived here over the centuries when I cook.
You sure AF can't get a Boudin Kolache (a Czech yeast roll filled with Cajun dirty rice) anywhere but here in East TX. I also goddamn love Viet Cajun food, IM SO GLAD ITS CRAWFISH SEASON PASS ME THE MUDBUGS!
what if i told you that a lot of “Americanized” versions of foods were actually the product of immigrant experiences and are not “bastardized versions”
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yhwhrulz · 6 months ago
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Worthy Brief - April 30, 2024
Pass through the drill!
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
When I was in school, it seemed they ran a “fire drill” at least once a year. A long, loud, kind of scary bell would sound and we knew it was either a real fire, or, more likely, just another drill. We were formed into lines, ushered down the halls, and out the doors we went. Of course, the point was practice….so we would be prepared for a real fire.
Drills are preparations for real threats. They are "trials". They test and prepare our readiness, give us opportunity to try on the emotions and actions we would experience in a genuine crisis. We need them and should even "count it pure joy" because they're necessary for our growth and maturity [James 1]. And trials are graduated; that is they get harder, kind of like math tests, they seem even to build on one another. Abraham's life was like that; just consider the different trials he endured leading to the sacrifice of Isaac.
Life in the world has always been full of real dangers, threats, crises, and disasters, though some of us have been spared from much of them. Yet now, it seems, we've got a tough drill to face; one which can really test our mettle. Uncertainty, limitation, perplexity, discomfort, maybe illness and genuine lack, altogether pack the power to raise our emotional temperature and really threaten our trust. Some people are unfazed but plenty of others are moved toward the edges of their capacity to cope.
It's time to discover our resources; first of all, to remember our Father's providence in every past drill that He sent us. Even when there was a real fire, He somehow got you out the door. You learned something on the other side of the threat; you were changed. He was there.
This word, "All things work together for good to them that love God and are the called according to His purpose”, is deeply apprehended by people whom the Lord has taken through serious troubles. "Suffering produces perseverance, (and) perseverance, character…"
We were born for this, and we were born again for this. Our life here is simply a preparation for eternity. Trials are preparation for eternity because they perfect our faith and form the character of Christ in us. Don't be surprised when they escalate; the goal is for us to graduate. Anxiety and panic are not for us, but for the faithless. We just need to tell each other that God will pull us through, and will shortly take us Home. We know the drill. We can pass through…
Your family in the Lord with much agape love,
George, Baht Rivka, Obadiah and Elianna (Dallas, TX) (Baltimore, Maryland)
Editor's Note: Watch a recently uploaded sermon -- Passover, Marriage & the Kingdom of God - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHszB_iEwfE
Editor's Note: During this war, we have been live blogging throughout the day -- sometimes minute by minute on our Telegram channel. - https://t.me/worthywatch/ Be sure to check it out!
Editor's Note: We are planning our summer Tour so if you would like us to minister at your congregation, home fellowship, or Israel focused event, be sure to let us know ASAP. You can send an email to george [ @ ] worthyministries.com for more information.
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jer-tan · 1 year ago
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I've been having the same reoccurring theme in my dreams recently. I have had at least two dreams recently, involving a high speed line, both was the Patco.
One was a dream I was at some festival in Philly and I was heading home and got on the train outside the fest. I was heading home, went through Camden and going east. I had to get off in Dallas (as in Dallas, TX and apparently it's east of Philadelphia in my dreamscape) and I remember getting my stuff off the train, but I had a lot of luggage and I had to step back in the train to get the rest of it. But then the train started to leave and I was still on it and was heading back, and I saw my stuff on the train platform. I remember prying the doors open shortly after the platform and jumping off the train with the rest of my stuff before I woke up.
Last night, I was boarded another Patco train heading west from home (I don't live near the Patco irl but it's a method I take to Philly and school when I go.) I get to a stop where I need to transfer and get off the train. I remember struggling to get on the right transfer even though the was only one line on the above ground track.
I headed into an underground part of the station. And kept seeing signs for DART (the transportation authority in Dallas) and I remember going above ground and seeing the Dallas skyline at sunset. I went back down and figured out where I needed to go. But then I was struggling to collect my stuff, like when ever it was packed up again. There was more stuff to put away. I'm not sure why all my belongings were all over the place. But I couldn't catch my transfer.
The two dreams weren't the same, but had similar themes. Problems getting where I needed to go (getting on, getting off) due to the amount of my belongings. I have to think about what this represents to me. It may be my brain telling that I am holding myself back from where I want to be going (the train) by making the situation appear more complex than they need to be (the amount of belongings and how it's preventing me from doing what I need to do) or it could represent readiness to go on this path. I seem prepared but in actuality I'm stuck to make the next move.
I need to think on this longer.
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themculibrary · 1 year ago
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Daisy Johnson/Phil Coulson Masterlist
7 Kinds of Kissing (ao3) - Persiflage E, 10k
Summary: These are the many different ways that Daisy and Phil Coulson kiss.
a free choice (ao3) - zauberer_sirin T, 5k
Summary: It’s only a few moments afterwards that Coulson joins her next to the comm controls. Daisy is not surprised in the least and she doesn’t wish for him to change, exactly, but life would be easier if he did. Crappier, but easier.
“Full exposé on Quake,” Daisy quotes with a scoff, evading Coulson’s real question. “It barely featured any new information. Even the Watchdogs forums have better researchers.”
alien fruit (ao3) - zauberer_sirin M, 5k
Summary: Daisy and Coulson finally catch a break in space. Problem is, their hosts assume a lot of things about their relationship.
allied (ao3) - zauberer_sirin E, 6k
Summary: The political is personal.
Or: Five Times Daisy And Coulson Went Against The Sokovia Accords.
Daisy Johnson in Love (ao3) - Persiflage E, 3k
Summary: AU: Daisy unexpectedly finds herself falling for Phil Coulson following a misunderstanding.
disaster averted (ao3) - RowboatCop E, 7k
Summary: Daisy and Coulson are forced off the road and have to share a hotel bed. I wonder what will happen?????????
distractions (ao3) - zauberer_sirin T, 4k
Summary: Coulson's voice is distracting.
It's lucky Daisy is such a consummate professional.
Everyone Gets Attached to Something (ao3) - Persiflage M, 1k
Summary: Over the course of a day Daisy's relationship with Phil undergoes a change.
falling for daisy (ao3) - zauberer_sirin E, 7k
Summary: Phil Coulson falls for his boss.
(Post-season 3 unspecified future. Seasons 4-7 do not exist in this fic.)
Ghost Protocol (ao3) - sfiddy G, 3k
Summary: Some would say he was haunted by his past. Coulson knew that was bull. You don’t get to be haunted when you are the ghost.
Phil breaks and runs. Loads of soul searching and wandering commence until he has to call in. Of course, who is his retriever?
i am thinking it's a sign (that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images) (ao3) - zauberer_sirin T, 7k
Summary: Daisy ends up in a parallel universe, with bad news (Hydra won) and good news (Coulson is here).
Just my type (ao3) - BrilliantlyHorrid M, 10k
Summary: Boy meets girl. Boy gets dumped by girl. Boy meets different girl. Girl used to kill people for a living don't worry about it. Against every available survival instinct, boy doesn't seem too worried.
kind of romantic (ao3) - zauberer_sirin
Summary: This time, Daisy is sure. This time they're not getting out of here.
long way down (ao3) - RowboatCop E, 7k
Summary: She drops her forehead to rest on his scar for a brief moment because she can, because she thinks about it sometimes — what he went through to be here with her, the long path he’s taken (so much longer than hers) to get to where they are.
(Daisy & Coulson explore some new things and appreciate how far they've come together.)
not like a greek myth (ao3) - zauberer_sirin G, 6k
Summary: “We’ve got this,” he says first of all, when he senses Daisy knows the situation might call for her involvement. It’s not that he hopes to hide the gravity of it from her — perhaps he hoped Daisy would do the un-Daisy thing and not ask for details. Do the un-Daisy thing of giving herself a break.
On Fire (ao3) - RowboatCop E, 9k
Summary: Or, three times Skye and Coulson angst through some sex cliches, and one time they have fun with it
Road to Christmas (ao3) - RowboatCop T, 13k
Summary: Stranded in Austin, TX four days before his Christmas Eve wedding, Phil Coulson gets a ride with Daisy Johnson and her passenger, Ace Peterson.
shame is the shadow of love (ao3) - zauberer_sirin E, 3k
Summary: This is not what Coulson was expecting.
un lugar en el mundo (ao3) - zauberer_sirin M, 4k
Summary: Daisy falls in love with his voice first.
(Post-3x12 fluffy feelings)
wherever i'm with you (ao3) - RowboatCop E, 12k
Summary: Coulson and Daisy go undercover at a beach resort. Mostly awkward flirting, cuddling, and figuring out their relationship.
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ecodweeb · 9 years ago
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John’s Bike: 2015 Zero SR
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On Monday April 4, Gopher the Smart Car was delivered to me. On Wednesday April 6, I’d drive my husband in our electric car to buy his first electric vehicle: a 2015 Zero SR. I had no idea this bike would put me back in the seat after a crash I’d had 20 years previous.
Service Stats
In Service Date: 4/6/2016 In Service Mileage: 250 Out of Service Date: 9/23/2017 Out of Service Mileage: 5005 Service Life: 17 months,  4,755 miles
The History & Story
I was not always a motorcyclist. In fact when I met my husband I was very much against them, because I’d already flipped one and felt they were too dangerous. I had no idea that cleaning up the garage one day would change my opinion on motorcycles. While cleaning out the garage at his old townhouse, I came across a sealed turn signal lens cover that was too small for a car. I asked what this went to, and my husband stopped and dropped the box he was holding. He stared at the package I was holding between my fingers and took it from me never breaking eye contact with it. He then tells me this was the turn signal lens for Craig’s motorcycle. Ok, so, who is Craig?
Turns out Craig was one of his best friends in college. Craig died in a motorcycle accident. The day before Craig died, he and my husband skipped classes and hung out all day. The next day he was in the hospital after being struck by a vehicle. I’ll be honest I don’t know all the details, I do know that Craig was buried in Austin, TX and that my husband has a story about his funeral and the rental Mazda Miata he got from Enterprise to attend it.
So, great, I unearthed this rather sad memory. After I’m told this story my husband says that Craig had always said he’d teach him how to ride a motorcycle. I told him how I felt about that, but I could tell this wasn’t the last I’d hear about Craig and motorcycles. Not quite a year later, John shows me the website for Zero motorcycles and says he wants one of them to commute with. I was very, very much against it. However, over time, I caved in... happy spouse, happy life or some such saying. But we didn’t go straight for the Zero...
My husband started with a Sachs MadASS - think if Vespa and Ducati had a lovechild. It was a moped, but it looked like a motorcycle. I picked it up in Nashville, TN bringing back my dad’s old F150 and his 1986 VW Golf diesel to sell off for him. I forgot how long he rode that thing, but the next bike was a BMW 650CS, the short-lived City Sport commuter bike. I know he had this bike for a couple of years, and he was annoyed with it because he never took it on the highway (he had no reason to) and it didn’t like being used as a slow speed commuter. Often it would stall out going through intersections unless a friend of ours ran it on the highway once a month for us.
Fast forward to acquiring Gopher and saying goodbye to VW diesels. John had made friends with the sales guy at the local powersports dealer that sells Zeros, and that guy let him know they had a demo unit coming up for sale at a discount. Since I’d gone electric, it was only fitting that he did too. So we sold the BMW to someone from Maine who flew down and rode it back home and we hopped in the electric car to go buy an electric motorcycle.
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I wish I could say that this bike was the end all be all, but it was really a headache from the start. We had numerous issues with the on board charger, the DC-DC converter, and I believe the main bike board failed on it at one point in time. There was a solid 4 months where we were riding the demo DSR instead of our SR because it was waiting on Zero to fix it. But more on that later.
During our time with it, both the powersports sales manager and my husband egged me on to ride it. I finally caved in because I felt it was like having a manual: you should be able to at least move it around your property. So I slowly started to learn to ride a two wheel vehicle again.
Fast forward to the EV Challenge the following year (2017). This event happened on the same day as “Tour de Brew,” a bicycle-based brewery tour that my husband was dying to attend. Because we had three vehicles to show (the BMW, the Smart, and the Zero motorcycle), we dropped the BMW off the night before with my husband’s bicycle stored in the back of it. The next morning I drove the Smart and he rode the Zero to the show grounds. In his haste to get to the starting line of the tour, he picked up the wrong Plug-in NC tote bag that had all the car keys in it instead of his bag with his wallet and gloves. I didn’t realize this until the end of the day, when it was time to pack up and leave.
I called him and he says he’s not far from campus -- over at a place off Lake Wheeler Rd, and that he thinks he left the key to the bike in its ignition. Sure enough, it was there. He said to just hop on it and ride over to pick up the car keys. I said no, I’m in toe shoes and shorts and I don’t know that your helmet will fit. He said well you can ride over here or you can wait two more hours for this to be over. I decided to see if his helmet would fit.
I hopped on the bike and said a small prayer, turned the key and twisted the throttle. Away I went -- I only needed to go 2 miles to get the keys. No big deal. I got there, got the keys, and then took a 10-mile detour to get back to the cars. Turns out, I really liked how the Zero rode. 
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I loved it so much, I rode it home and promptly laid it down in my driveway, gently. There wasn’t much damage...
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After this we started trading off on Tuesdays. I’d take the bike to work, he’d take my car to work and then his run club event afterwards. We did this for a short time before he decided that commuting with a motorcycle was stupid, and he wanted a convertible smart car instead. I started riding the bike on Tuesdays, and Sundays, and before long I was ready to try and do a long ride with it.
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In 2017, Lidl opened their first store in Sanford, North Caroilina. I decided that I wanted to ride the Zero there -- it was 40 miles -- then ride it to my friend’s house in Durham. I remember I used my Pebble smart watch to assist with the turn by turn directions, and I was terrified on the few stretches of 55mph roads I had to be on. However I managed to make it to the Lidl, pick up some mixers, and head to my friend’s home in Durham unscathed. 
But sadly, the battery management on these early units was really problematic. A few weeks after this successful long ride, I had attended a meeting in Burlington with the Triad Auto Association on the Zero. On my way back home I was going to again stop at my friend’s home in Durham (this was my weekend thing for many years), and as I was 2 miles from his house the battery went from 7% to 0% and stranded me in Durham.
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I managed to push the bike up into someone’s yard as the road I died on had no shoulder or sidewalk. The owner was super nice and he ran an extension cord out for me to let the bike charge -- thankfully it did. I called my husband who had went to get a small trailer so we could tow the bike, but by the time he got the rig there it was charged up enough to make it to our friend’s house. I rode it over there and plugged it in, and we left it overnight and picked it back up on Sunday. It was around this time that we began to really engage Zero with all the problems on the bike, and ultimate they ended up taking this bike back. That’s when I bought my 2017, which thankfully, was a problem-free machine...except for the overheating due to its non-cooled battery design.
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