#Like Tuli dealing with

[peccaberry]

I made a Pokemon Legends of Arceus ship list bc lists are fun! These are all just my own personal preferences and not a condemnation/moral judgement of any ship. If a ship isn't listed it's because I don't really have an opinion on it/didn't think of it. Feel free to copy me and make your own list!

❤️ Talk of ships below cut ❤️

OTP ❤️:

Rei x Volo - No one who has spoken to me for more than 2 seconds is surprised about this one. I have an ongoing Fanfiction where they are the main couple and I am probably the biggest shipper of these two that I know of. Rarepair but they mean a lot to me in the specific context they have in the story I am writing. In any other interpretation it can definitely depend because Volorei is something a lot of people like to do in ways I can't get behind.

I tend to stick to just making my own Volorei content and just enjoying that but my friends also have started making content for them at times because they love me and like to see me lose my mind. I love them for it, y'all know who you are 😂

If you want to know more about why I ship this just go read Achilles Come Down (link in my pinned post) bc that is my 100,000 words and counting Volorei thesis paper.

Anyway Volorei is autism 4 autism to me and that should sum it up nicely

I really like this ship:

Adaman x Irida - Two young people leading rival clans who also are probably the only people with any real understanding of the pressures that puts on a person? Good shit good shit! They should yell at each other and then kiss about it. They should date in secret. They should be messy and lovestruck and it should affect the clan relations in ways they must deal with together.

Adaman x Rei - If I had to ship Rei with anyone who wasn't Volo it would absolutely be Adaman. I'd probably be cool with writing fanfic about them in the future but seeing as the next billion years will be taken up by writing Volorei in ACD it's too soon to say if that will happen.

Dawn x Irida - One of my friends ships this and has inducted me into the cult. Not something I would have thought of on my own but it's cute and if you've been following me I'm sure you've seen my art of it 😂 I prefer considering this interpretation as one of Dawn in the place of Akari bc Akari is aro ace to me.

Adaman x Melli - A ship full of any number of potentially hilarious situations. I actually really like it and I feel like there are actually some things that could be interpreted as canon feelings on Melli's end and I feel like that would be interesting to explore. Good luck Melli, go get your man!

Ginter x Tuli: THEY ARE MARRIED TO ME OK??? This is actually canon based on I said so.

Cogita x Ama: Ok this one is just Cogita x My fanfic oc but this is my list so I get to put it on here. Let the ridiculous sapphic woman get her awkward immortal gf ok? I mean it ends tragically in ACD but I still like them together so this is definitely my top Cogita ship.

I could get behind this:

Mai x Arezu - They both eat hot chips be bisexual and lie together. It's just so obvious how could they not be together? Needs more research.

Adaman x Volo - This is probably the only non Rei ship I would probably ever consider for Volo. Idk if I have any strong feelings about why or how it would work but they seem like two personalities that could be interesting together. Wouldn't seek it out or anything but maybe it wouldn't be so bad?

Cyllene x Cogita: Older ladies kissing? You have my attention.

Pesselle x any age appropriate girl: You know it!!! 🥺❤️ we must research the potential....

The Miss Fortune Sisters: Lesbian crime triad tbh. Absolutely Iconic for it.

I don't particularly like this ship:

Palina x Iscan - This ship held so much potential, especially as the only canon one, but overall it kind of disappointed me in practice. Iscan is just so cartoonishly afraid of ghost types it kind of makes him harder for me to like because they made it so much of his personality. If they'd been less heavy handed with it I'd probably like this couple more but I just end up feeling meh because I don't wanna see them interact more.

I feel like someone could convince me with a good fic where Iscan is treated like less of a complete coward though. There's nothing wrong with having fears or phobias but I guess I just didn't vibe with this particular portrayal of it. It's really too bad because the backstory they have together is so sweet and they are one of the ones I wanted to like the most but it just didn't end up happening. Iscan deserved better writing tbh.

Laventon x Cyllene - Cyllene just doesn't seem like she'd appreciate Laventon like he deserves. He's so nice to her and she just kinda brushes him off. I'm sure some people like ice queen type pairings and if you do you'd probably like it more than me but I want Laventon to have someone who acts just as happy to be with him as he would be with them.

Hard no:

Volo x Akari

Volo x Ingo

Volo x Emmet

Purely personal reasoning but I do what I can to avoid them. There's nothing wrong with them I just don't want to see it because all the characters here besides Volo I like to interpret as Aro/Ace and as an aro ace person myself it's just gonna be that way for some ships 😂 I also interpret Volo as a lot younger and the twins as a lot older than a lot of people so it's just not my thing based on that too.

It also feels weird that Volo x Emmet is as much of a thing as it is because Emmet is not in PLA. It makes it feel like more of a submas fandom thing than an actual PLA fandom thing so I honestly am pretty heavily dissociated from wanting to see it even more than with Ingo.

Volo x Cogita - While I know there's no official interpretation of their relationship I feel like too much points to both Cogita being way older than him (her having lines under her eyes/grey hair to indicate being older, her calling him "young man" to indicate she sees him in a much different age group than her) and potentially a direct ancestor of him herself (how similar they look in facial structure)

Now you could interpret things as they are the two unrelated people that got together to eventually have Cynthia and they are both immortals or whatever but it doesn't really seem that way to me and it kinda just doesn't vibe for me because of that. No shade if you disagree but it's not for me! They will always be dysfunctional family members in my eyes.

[critical-quoter]

April Books

Holy moly, I have surpassed the 50% mark of my reading goal for this year. BookTok still has a chokehold on me so my TBR on Goodreads on consistently over 1200 books, and constantly being increased.

Stay Over - Kaylee Ryan ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Warrior - A. M. Brooks ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Wild Heart - Lacy Chantell ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Spark of Obsession - Victoria Dawson ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Plus Size for the Billionaire - R. J. Stevens ⭐️ You Can Follow Me - Jo Brenner ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Lose Me in the Shadows - Jo Brenner ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Meet Me in the Dark - Jo Brenner ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Owned by a Sinner - Michelle Heard ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Siren - R. J. Lewis & A. R. Rose ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Savage Seduction - Didi Sands ⭐️⭐️ Sick Boys - Clarissa Wild ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Dreaming Forest - L. B. Black ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Where's Molly - H. D. Carlton ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Pieces Left Behind - Ryan Marie ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ A Rebel's Promise - Sara Blackard ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Brawler - Colleen Charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Thalia De Luca - Jaclin Marie ⭐️⭐️ When It Ends - Penelope Black ⭐️⭐️ Sorry. Not Sorry - Emily James ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ My Anti-Hero - Titan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Axel - Samantha Whiskey ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ To Wake A Kingdom - Nisha J. Tuli ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Butcher & Blackbird - Brynne Weaver ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 'Til Encryption Do Us Part - Cathleen Cole & Frank Jensen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Saved - Hazel James ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Fearlessly Bound - Zainab Samba ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Piece That Breaks - N. J. Gray ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Easy Like Sunday Morning - Kenya Goree-Bell ⭐️⭐️ The Pucking Wrong Guy - C. R. Jane ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Reckless Hands - T. L. Smith ⭐️⭐️ Resisting the Grump - Ashley Muñoz ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Pucking Wrong Date - C. R. Jane ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Blood of My Monster - Rina Kent ⭐️⭐️⭐️ In Your Wildest Dreams - Rebecca Jenshak ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Liees of My Monster - Rina Kent ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Blood of My Monster - Rina Kent ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Fearless King - Zainab Samba ⭐️⭐️ Saving Vienna - Vikki Jay ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Evergreen Ivy - Ada Taylor ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Payback - Mila Sin & Manuela Rouget ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Fifty Shades of Grey - E. L. James ⭐️⭐️ Grey - E. L. James ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Welcome to Fae Cafe - Jennifer Kropf ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Born of Mist and Dragonfire - Ava Thorne ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Keeping My Bride - Angela Snyder ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Battle Within - Christina Mattingly ⭐️⭐️ Dark Obsession - Hope Ford ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Small Town Swoon - Melanie Harlow ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Hate Like Ours - Nikita ⭐️⭐️ The Deal Dilemma - Meagan Brandy ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Dig - L. A. Ferro ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Rancher's Seduction - Nicole Simon ⭐️ I Almost Do - Evangeline Williams ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Plays Well With Others - Lauren Blakely ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Heart Trick - Kristen Granata ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ A False Start - Elsie Silver ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Falling for You - T. Thomas ⭐️⭐️ Mafia and Protector - Isa Oliver ⭐️⭐️ Recklessly You - J. Morales ⭐️⭐️⭐️ All Rhodes Lead Here - Mariana Zapata ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

61 total books read for April 2024!

[a-stone-slab]

About Volo…

(obviously: Spoilers for Pokémon Legends:Arceus, so read at your own discretion.)

Volo’s an interesting character.

He’s a member of the Ginkgo Guild, aka merchants that travel Hisui to sell products to anyone who will buy them. Products that are either super easy to get and slightly overpriced or products that nobody can find on a regular day that are still super expensive.

An interesting detail about Volo, though, is that he hates his job. Like, he never sells anything except when the world is about to end, and even then he only sells to one person, the main character, because they aren’t able to buy from anyone else at the time. He’s their only line of support at the time, so he HAS to allow them to have access to his goods and services. He also refuses to sell items at unfair prices to customers. And even then he seems like he doesn’t want to sell those products. He’s reluctant to sell stuff to people due to the nature of the business he works for.

Another thing to note is that Ginter, Volo’s boss and the leader of the Ginkgo Guild, is the one who decides those prices, and brings merchants into Hisui from other regions. Ginter is a rather odd man. Always seemingly angry or depressed, and sitting down with a slouch as if he doesn’t even care about anything.

Ginter seems to not care about his business, and just wants to get it over with. The thing to note, however, is his dialogue.

He speaks as if he’s on the customer’s side. He speaks in a way to persuade them to buy the product in a way that seems harmless but is giving a feeling of urgency to the customer. He’s usin the tactics commonly used by scam traders or con artists to trick their customers into thinking that they need this product. While Tuli (another salesperson of the Guild) and Volo sell regular items like berries, potions, etc., Ginter sells rare items. Mysterious stones, Strange appliances and electronics, even random items like pairs of slippers and whatnot.

Something to note, however, is that Jubilife Village doesn’t have electricity. The time period shown is before electricity was widely used, and the members of the town rely on fire and manpower to get stuff done. Not to mention that the player is the first person to actually try to complete the Pokédex and utilize those stones. That means that most of the townspeople probably don’t even need those products at all. He says that the appliances he sells are “Packed with gears and machinery that serve some unclear purpose. But if you can solve this item’s mysteries, your reward will surely be far greater than the price you paid for it today.” He’s convincing customers that there’s a use for those products and that it’s worth the money. (It’s worth noting these appliances start at around 10k and then increase in amount with each one you buy) The only use for those appliances, since there’s no electricity to use, is to have a Rotom possess one to change forms. Rotom are only found in the Alabaster Icelands and the Coronet Highlands, not places that the average townsperson would go even if they did want to catch a Pokémon. Basically: Ginter’s products are, for lack of a better word, total crap in that town, and yet he convinces people that it’s worth the purchase, and that the items are being sold at a good price. He makes people think that they’re getting a good deal for something they’ll never use. He’s scamming the townspeople of Jubilife Village, and making them buy stuff they’ll never use.

As mentioned, Ginter sells things at prices that are absolutely absurd, with useless appliances costing over 10,000 and literal rocks being sold for 5,000, which is just a plain scam. This brings to mind: Volo.

Why does he feel so strongly about not wanting to sell unfair products?

Well, we have to analyze Volo’s entire plan first.

Volo (the man pictured below) is the main antagonist of the “Legends: Arceus” game. His plan? To force Arceus to intervene with his plans, capture it, and subjugate its power to create a new world where he is the true god and he decides everything.

Kinda over the top for a guy with no real backstory, right?

Well, no. He says he wants to do this to “fix the world” and how it’s an “impure world” and whatnot.

Volo’s plan is this: restart the world and fix all of the injustices done by humanity, creating a utopia.

My thought on this matter is this: Volo, after being forced to work for an unfair business for years, forced to trick innocent people and whatnot, finally snapped and it made him want to rid the world of such injustices. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back, if you will.

Basically: Ginter’s capitalist bullshit made Volo decide to end the world as we know it.

[kobblefort]

The End of Rushsly

Endgame spoilers for Dwarf Fortress under the cut

In the third cavern layer, one forgotten beast shows up to kill the previous, as tends to happen with forgotten beasts. Up above, the kobbles finally make a refuse pile and discover just how much mussel shell waste they generate. The butchers got to work fixing the "why do we have 30 stray dogs here" problem. And down at the bottom of the world, after all hope was given up on and we just started digging massive chunks like wild cunts...

A pocket of water, obsidian, and gems. Well, it's not adamantine just yet, but I've never even seen a "star ruby" before. And on top of that...

It literally explodes into flames when you hit it sometimes.

Treasure, treasure!!! Literally buried in the walls! A twisting metal scimitar named Leto Bemta - the Boat of Salves - worth more than one of our entire bins full of gems thus far. Obsidian and diamonds. It has to be close. And there's also...

blood? But Zirga wasn't a miner, they never even came down here. And R'eekeek, didn't they die years ago?

It needs to be carved out fully and completely. Nobody's been hurt by the water gushing forth yet, which is a blessing - it's already slow enough for the miners to get down here from the tavern or their apartments. But it's not adamantine yet. More, more. Come on, give me more.

I get more.

Anl was pretty cool. Getting his head exploded by the stomp of a snow wraith is at least a quick way to go, if not a glamorous one. The snow wraith earned herself a name with that kill: Shosclylr. "Badfogs." She takes a second to acquaint herself with the world of the living for a moment, then charges up the stairs. The marksbolds have already been sent down to deal with her. There's no reason we'll have to seal the whole shaft up over one single monster, right?

Even a well-made steel helm only offers one extra second in the face of this beast. I didn't really know Almic. She kills a woodcutter who was in the area picking up gems the same way, Driliv. I didn't really know Driliv either. Tulys Worthspun and Case Griffonboats are next, marksbolds. She just kicks the poor bastards' heads into paste. Kikli Shakenmarks and Syl Destinedechoes die just as fast, and she hasn't even taken a scratch.

A new title, "the Mongrel of Mirroring." I'm calling it off. I'm sealing the shaft. Urd Putridcharms, Alcr Dressworm and Rota Tickbrave barely escape before the hatches are sealed and the doors are barred.

But there was one last person in the shaft. Nucra Framegarnishes.

It ends the same way.

With the last of its prey killed, pulped in a mere instant like all the rest, it just sits there, self-satisfied. It doesn't need to eat or sleep or anything else; it can wait forever.

I can't know how everyone in this room feels about having been turned away before going to face it, but I can't imagine it's good.

This would be a good place to stop, you know. The fortress is entirely self-sufficient, fully stocked, we could just say that we learned our lesson, closed off the shaft entirely and never went back. That avarice's wage can only be paid in blood, that there are things kobble kind was never meant to find.

But what kind of climax would that be?

I want my adamantine.

We've dealt with beasts like this before. There's a way to do this without any more undue bloodshed. There's absolutely no reason to stop. We still have five miners left, and plenty more layabouts who can become one if the need arises.

Once the shape of the monster is revealed, most kobbles that come down to assist in preparing the fortifications turn tail and flee as soon as they enter the firing chamber. Nucra Framegarnishes has begun rotting, stinking, seeping the miasma of death through the walls - and reminding everyone of the agony that not being able to bury them provides. Winter ends, and the year 256 begins. A seventh year of Rushsly. That's supposed to be a lucky number. But even the marksbolds don't believe they're safe, and make up excuses - just before reaching the chamber, "oh, I've got to fill up my waterskin." "Am I sure these are the right bolts?" "I think there might be a better-fitting pair of gauntlets upstairs, I should try those on first."

More goddamn gnolls. The two that almost make it in are crushed in the drawbridge. Why now?

Cire Ghostivy, who always seems to be out on the surface when this happens, is bludgeoned repeatedly by a gnoll thief using their bag as a weapon. It goes on for agonizingly long until he finally dies. These gnolls are from The Ace Seductions, for what it's worth, so they probably didn't get the memo about the fake entranceway with all the traps, as evidenced by one letting his hand get sliced off by a serrated iron disc before, you guessed it, stepping right on a cage trap.

Those who don't anticlimactically step on cage traps end up shredded by the weapon traps instead. Their lives and deaths are hardly worth mentioning. But down at the bottom of the earth...

It takes a few handfuls of bolts, but the snow wraith is finally defeated, bursting into chunks of its constituent snow before us. Finally, it's safe to bury the fallen kobbles. You might notice by the absurd little patrol route that it took some real finagling to actually make the kobbles attack, but finagle we did.

I'm not sure "pyrrhic victory" is the right word to use here, and I can't be assed to look it up, but it certainly isn't a feel-good story. Dralas Containedbanded got the final shot, so we won't be congratulating a new Beast Slayer. Tomb space is starting to come at a premium, and it's hard not to think: all that just for some gems? We already had gems. Adamantine, damnit, adamantine. What I want is adamantine.

Anl Crystaldepth, son of clan leader Alsrta Moltenend, created this magnetite scepter during all that chaos, with a truly impressive value, though it's not particularly interesting. It feels like a lot of the artifacts we've created just have images of gems on them - along with the gems, obviously, sometimes it's like they can't get the gem they actually want and just draw it on there. Very few pieces that tell any kind of story, though if we're here in a few years, that'll probably change - Badfogs the Mongrel of Mirroring might not be the catchiest name, but it should prove hard to forget.

The butchering spree had very predictable results.

Some action from the second cavern layer gives me a pretty good idea of where, exactly, my framerate went, so I cheer on Ashan Plaguehole's optimization efforts. I notice a bunch of kobbles canceling jobs and panicking and start wondering why until I remember...

they can literally see into there, lol. And unfortunately...

It takes this many goddamn names in the combat log to do it, but Ashan goes down at last. The ant people go back to their business, and we've got to get back to ours.

I don't learn my lesson.

Through Zhasrca Foldcounselled's sacrifice, it is finally revealed to us.

One little completely inaccessible tile of adamantine deep at the bottom of the great magma sea.

You know what?

Fuck this.

I'd grown tired of this fort a while ago, thus the slowing pace of updates. The deep-digging schtick ground all our industry and the actually fun stuff going on in our fortress to a halt. After checking with "reveal hell" in dfhack, I discovered two "HFS Tubes" with the tiniest bits of adamantine to recover from them that are completely inaccessible from just about any angle without going through the hassle of waiting for kobbles to set up pumps and die stupidly channeling out magma. I could just go gung-ho straight into the hole and unleash all the demons and everybody dies, but why? Is that really funny? Is that really interesting? Of course you thought I was going to do that because I am unhinged and it's funny to make all the pretend little virtual people die stupidly but I don't want to. I like my kobbles. I like Ace Steel running around with her three kids in one hand and her massive steel axe in the other casually being one of the greatest warriors kobblekind will ever see. I like Acl Controlledown running around doing the most menial fucking chores like fetching water and burning logs into charcoal despite being the literal founder of the fortress, I like Alsrta Moltenend randomly freaking out about the prospect of someone not making her a bunch of rings fast enough, I liked Cire Ghostivy's dumb ass always being out fishing when trouble came and finally having to pay for it, I liked Zil Dentedleaks being so miserable it was on the precipice of snapping for every moment of its entire life yet never actually doing it. I know it would be totally freaking epic o_O;; for everybody to just all suddenly die stupidly but this game is about stories and that's a dumb story. Rushsly isn't about kobbles getting Punished For Avarice it's about bird towers and were-turtles and drawbridge accidents. So it's going to end here.

There will be plenty more forts because I really like to play this game and writing about it makes it feel a lot less like a waste of time. We're still going to find out what my deal with David Cage is but not today. I said this much earlier but Rushsly will quite literally still be here, persisting in the world as the self-sufficient fortress we created, maybe even becoming the kobble equivalent of Mountainhome in time if the next schmuck who runs it doesn't get everyone slaughtered by gnolls and ratfolk. It's not like there wasn't a climax here: I think the carnage Badfogs caused was more than enough of a big final action sequence to satisfy me and Zhasrca breaking into the magma sea was exactly where I'd like to cap off the denouement. So that's it. Rushsly is retired. As long as they can keep the meat off the floor and the forgotten beasts on their own side of the walls, they might just make it indefinitely. I'd like to make a much less ambitious fortress next, one with a twist - this one was plenty of fun but very straightforward. I'm thinking about either Untamed Wilds or a glacier, and since Rushsly was so isolationist (visitors were never actually allowed into taverns or temples, just for trading) I'd like to do one that's a bit more "public." Whatever the case, we'll be back in Daarunbay Detevay soon. Very soon. I mean like, probably tonight soon.

Thanks for reading

[forthedancingandthethriving]

Tulip gnaws on the tip of the wrench, staring at the car in front of her. She had been working on it for a while now, but only because she couldn't get her mind off of what happened at the last Avatar meetup.

"Have you all learned your lesson?" Juliano raised an eyebrow as he looked at the embarrassed Avatars (except for Mario, as he was out helping the others track down Depresso). They all refused to meet his gaze. "Next time I leave you all alone, I hope you don't take whatever Depresso gives you."

There was a chorus of agreement, and Juliano sighed. "Thank you." His tone was exasperated. "Now, I'm going to go disinfect the cuts on my back.." he muttered as he turned and walked away.

Tulip glanced up, and her eyebrows raised in surprise as she saw that the holes in Juliano's outfit let her see small patches of.. black and purple on his back.

She glanced at the others, but it seemed like none of them had noticed. Maybe it was still the effects of that weird mushroom she ate still messing with her..

Tulips groans softly to herself as the memory replays in her mind again. What she had seen had been messing with her, replaying in her mind for so long, and despite her trying to rationalize it, something deep inside of her screamed that something was wrong with Juliano.

She growls to herself and bites down on the wrench, jolting when she accidentally bites off the jaws. She whines and spits it out to the ground, frowning.

"Man, that was my favorite wrench too.." she mutters before screeching, feeling someone tap her shoulder.

She whips around and throws her broken wrench in the face.. of Shantae.

"Oh god- Shantae I'm do sorry, oh god-" Tulip quickly scrambles up and begins to fuss over her friend.

"No! No, I'm okay!" Shantae shakes her head, rubbing her nose and forehead. "I forgot you scare easily!"

"Do not." Tulip grumbles, crossing her arms. Shantae giggles and rubs her face before looking at the fellow Avatar.

"Are you okay?" the other asks before gesturing to the car Tulip had been working on. "You've been working on that car since you, 7, and 10 got here, and you didn't seem to hear any of us calling for you."

"Oh! Uh.." Tulip looks away, and she drops her wrench to the ground below and scratches the back of her neck. Her right foot begins to tap as well. "Well, I.. um.. I've had some stuff on my mind..?"

Shantae tilts her head and raises an eyebrow. "Why did you make that a question?"

"Because I don't know if what I saw was real or not!" Tulip frowns, and she starts wringing her hands. She then begins to pace back and forth in front of the car, nails scratching at her skin. "And it just won't leave my mind and it's messing with my thoughts and my attention focus - which I barely have but still - and I just-"

"Woah, woah, woah." Shantae gently grabs Tulip's hands and squeezes them. "One thing at a time, Tutu, I can barely understand a word you're saying."

"Right, sorry." Tulip's fingers twitch in Shantae's hands, and she takes a deep breath. "So.. Do you remember when we kinda.. ate those mushrooms Depresso gave us?"

"I'd rather not, but yeah." Shantae nods as she lets go of Tulip's hands.

"So.. when Juliano was walking away.. I.. looked at him as he was and.." Tulip hesitates before continuing, voice softer. "I think I saw.. missing texture patches on his back. You know, the ones SMG1 and SMG2 have."

The guardian genie pauses before frowning. "Are you sure? Thats a big deal!"

The mechanic shrugs. "I.. I really don't know! It might have been the mushroom messing with me, but still.."

Shantae hums softly before smiling and gently bumping her shoulder against Tulip's. "Well, I guess that we can find out our own way! Maybe if we trail him or something we can figure it out!"

"Are you sure?" Tulip tilts her head. "Juliano barely ever slips up."

"Trust me, he will at some point." Shantae smiles. "Buuuut for now.. Let's go hang out with the others!" She grabs the other's hand and rushes off towards the rest of the Avatars.

Tulip laughs as she follows. Leave it Shantae to know how to take her mind off of things.

[shadowonwater]

Jubilife Village NPCs (Names and Dialogue)

Ended up making this because I couldn't figure out where to find this information (if it's anywhere). Was looking for this info because of something I was working on. Keep in mind that this is post game as well, so the dialogue isn't necessarily the same as it is in the beginning of the game.

Note: some NPCs have dialogue that floats above their head when you get near them, this is different from what they say when you talk to them, this dialogue will be written like this [example]. {this is for anything else of note}

Also keep in mind that the location of some of a lot of these NPCs move around because sometimes they are in their house and sometimes not. I'm talking to people at night. The dialogue that can float around an NPCs head, only appears when they are outside, so there is much of that, that I'm missing.

Hanging Outside

Shopping/Gameplay Function:

Anthe (clothing lady): What can I help you with, hon?

Dagero (photo guy): What would you like to do? [A photo lasts a lifetime! How about a sitting?]

Marie (pasture lady): Do you have some Pokemon you'd like to leave here with me?

Tuli (Gingko Guild): A fine day to you, my friend! Care to peruse our top-notch selection of rarities? [Rare wares! Only the best here!]

Ginter (Gingko Guild): Here's all the goods I've got right now Anything catch your eye? [Rare wares! Great deals! Only the best here!]

Arezu: Hey there! In the mood for a style change? [My hairstyles are bold and stylish!]

Choy (general store guy): See something you want? It's yours, for a price. If it's not here, by all means, craft it yourself.

Bonn (Exp Candy guy): Can I interest you in a candy? [Fancy buying a sweet treat?]

Anvin (craft store guy): Here at craftworks, we sell materials and recipes. Can I help you with something?

Simona (merit points shop lady): Good of you to stop by. What is it you need?

Zisu: Hello there, Survey Corps recruit! Did you need something from me?

Ingo: Which would you like to attempt?

Lucille (shrine lady): I'm here to give thanks to the guardian of this shrine, who watches over all in Jubilife Village. And you, child? If you're here with a prayer for the shrine, perhaps my charms can help. Tell me-what is your wish? [Shrine guardian, watch over us...]

Colza (also a farmer): Oh hey, great timing! We're done gathering the harvest!

Belamy: Hey. Shall I see how compatible you and your Pokemon are? [The bonds between Pokemon and people…]

Taggart: Line up lots of targets-pop a lot per ball! Practice, practice, practice, and be the best of all! What do you say, sport? Up for a challenge?

These Guys are also hanging around:

Ress: Heading Outside the Village, are we? Stay safe out there, kid.

Tsumugi: I hear Captain Zisu wants to build a dojo to teach everyone how to battle with Pokemon!

Yota: I've heard that in some faraway regions, people compete with each other by having their partner Pokemon do battle.

Radisa (Pickle lady): There are so many ingredients to be found here in Hisui that's be rare elsewhere! [This is it! I've come up with the ultimate recipe!]

Tomma: For people and Pokemon alike, nothing is more important than health.

Beauregard: I hear some Galaxy folks plan to turn one of our base camps into a new village.

Beni: I did what I came to do here in Hisui. Now I suppose it's time for me to head someplace with a more agreeable climate.

Meibei: If we don't get along with the Pokemon around us, the sky might go all awful again like before...

Buck: I'm gonna make a wood carving of Croagunk to show it how grateful I am!

Miller (farmer): The sky might turn red again one day... but we'll deal with that when it happens!

Clarissa: How does it feel to have caught a Pokemon revered by some as a deity? {she has a Zubat!}

Ren: The more we know about Pokemon , the less we fear them... It's funny that we can form such a bond with them when they don't understand human speech!

Taeko: It's always good to have a satchel chock-full of charms out on a survey!

Netta: I guess Pokemon must get friendly with people because they really want to. If they didn't, they'd probably just escape the pastures and run.

Wanda: I wonder if there's a Pokemon that could help me find my way when I get lost. Something like Captain Cyllene's Abra, perhaps?

Maris: The more people that have partner Pokemon, the more people that'll make them battle. You'll see!

Leif: Well I guess there's a good reason why legends become legends, if you follow me.

Kew: I'm sure glad you came here! Thanks to you, it seems Hisui has finally accepted us.

Dorian (Buizel guy): Pokemon won't ever disappear from the world, no matter how many you catch. That means we're always going to need people like me to stand guard.

Galaxy Hall

Bagin: That's it! You've learned everything I could possibly teach you about packing, kid! Maybe I should set my sights on a new goal... like a bag that can hold as many items as you like! [Who wouldn't like more space in their satchel?]

Zeke: I see why folks call the Survey Corps the Pokemon problem solvers.

Laventon: You know I expect great things of you. Carry on the good fight out there!

Cyllene: You have reached the highest possible rank within the Galaxy Expedition Team! Continue to carry out all your duties with the dignity expected from one of your rank!

Naccal: Andra, Beauregard, and I came to Hisui hoping to achieve great things out here. We'll work hard to make our dreams come true!

Pesselle: I wish the base camps had roofs. Then you would feel even safer when visting them! {She has a Croagunk}

Mani {Gingko Guild}: If people and Pokemon start living together, I'm sure some people out there will see that as a great new business opportunity!

Astair: If Jubilife gets much bigger, we won't be able to craft items fast enough to keep up with demand... We gotta think of a way to make items more efficiently somehow!

Bosley: Am I right that there's a Pokemon called Bonsly? I feel an urge to get to know one.

Kip: I might've overdone it a bit at the festival... I'll just go sleep it off at my quarters.

Sanqua: I heard talk lately that we might start building new villages while we keep expanding Jubilife.

Komado: Hrrrm... I suppose there is no end to the study of Pokemon, even if the Pokedex is complete.

Regular Buildings: (I skip empty houses)

House 1:

Sho: Hey, can anyone make friends with Pokemon if they have Pokeballs?

Yeo: I wonder how Hiusui will change as we people and Pokemon intermingle...

House 2:

Sue: Now that I've a family here in Hisui, it's time to put down my roots for good.

Andra: Mr. Mime taught me that not all wild Pokemon need to be feared!

House 3:

Miki: I think I'll ask Melli of the Diamond Clan to join me for a sparring session sometime. {has a Staravia}

Ichika: Professor Laventon sure goes to the base camps a lot. He says it's just for the sake of his research, but it's still amazing!

House 4:

Kichi: Humans and Pokemon living together... I can't wait to see what the future has in store!

Waka: All the shops 'n' stuff in Jubilife are real nice now! So I guess... time to build a new village?

Sachi: A lot has changed since you fell out of the sky!

Paira: Waka's been saying that he wants to join up with the Galaxy Team once he's old enough... If that day comes, look after him, won't you?

House 5:

Almous (honey guy): Some Pokemon are so sturdy, they'd be great for helping plow the fields!

Rihachi: Do your Pokemon think of you as a parent? If so, you have to look after them properly! Though from what I can see, your Pokemon are the one's taking care of you...

House 6:

Soyo: We may just be one small village, but lots of people and Pokemon live together here now.

Bjorn: I bet there are even more types of berries out in this great wide world... and I'd like to gather them all here in Hisui!

House 7:

Yorrich: I've been venturing out all over Hisui, and there really are some odd Pokemon out there.

House 8:

Nawaki: I've been pondering lately whether any Pokemon moves could be of help with construction work.

House 9:

Craig: Setting up a base camp is hard work, you know. We put in a lot of effort choosing places where it won't destroy Pokemon's habitats if we build.

House 10:

Canala: Even if we caught all the Pokemon in Hisui, there would still be plenty of Pokemon elsewhere in the world, no?

Oscar: Will we all end up walking around with Pokemon at our sides eventually? I just... can't quite picture that happening.

Floaro (Umbreon guy): I wonder if Jubilife will grow into a big ol' city one day?

House 11:

Marli: Have you managed to get hold of all the crafting recipes? I know about 40 of them, myself. [I wonder what a Starly would like...]

Berra (Roselia request): Once we all start learning more about Pokemon from that Pokedex of yours, I think we'll find them much less frightening.

Gully (Nosepass request): I suppose the Supply Corps ought to change how we do things so people don't put themselves in harm's way gathering materials.

{there's a Nosepass in this house!}

House 12:

{Asair lives here I guess}

Morel (Parasect request): If I had a partner Pokemon of my own, I'd sure feel a lot safer going out to pick mushrooms.

{there's a Parasect in this house}

House 13:

Tao Hua: Seems we'll have far more people choosing to share their lives with Pokemon from now on. Which means I'll need to churn out plenty of Poke Balls!

Yui: I'd like to expand our shop to keep pace with how Jubilife is growing.

House 14:

Risa: I suppose the more you study, the more you'll discover.

Chiyo: I was playing with some of the Pokemon in the village earlier!

Toshi: We're seein' more and more Pokemon inside the village these days... Things have changed so quickly around here!

House 15:

Yoshimi: It's not that I never leave my quarters-you just only see me when I'm off duty.

House 16:

Taki: Hey, um, where' d you come from again? Are you gonna... go back?

House 17:

Cea: You may be able to heal your Pokemon with a potion anytime, but all the same, don't push them too far.

Shinon: I'm seeing more and more people with partner Pokemon these days... I'm sure we have the Survey Cor-No.. we have you to thank for this.

Anise (Petili Request): There would certainly be fewer casualties if everyone had a partner Pokemon with them.

{there's a Petili in this house!}

House 18:

Edith: It's hard to care about things like your hairstyle when you're struggling to survive.

House 19:

Ceci (Magikarp Request): You've seen a lotta really cool Pokemon, right? Did you battle them? Did you become friends? What was your adventure like? I wanna know everything! Tell me, tell me! Pleeeaaase! {You are given an option, if you say "yes" the ending credits roll}

Maldon: That strangeness in the sky helped bring the two clans and the Galaxy Team closer together. Every cloud, as they say...

Hiko (Aipom Request): If some Pokemon stole my pack and ate the contents... I guess you could say I was useful to the Pokemon right?

House 20:

Fujie: I came here all the way from Hoenn... it seems this land is just getting interesting!

Bankei: I had such a shock when I heard Beni was a ninja this whole time! But no matter what, he'll always be my dear friend.

Ward: Well, I survived that creepy sky, so... NOW I can say nothing' ll ever faze me!

Conlan: Dialga and Palkia are, um... "deities," right?

House 21:

Duna: I'm trying to wipe away the memory of those frightful times by going about my days normally.

Mittie: When can I go play outside the walls?

House 22:

Ida (Chimecho Request): I hope to never again see people and Pokemon pitted against one another.

Shizu: Where do Pokemon come from?

{Sue is also here somehow, she's in two houses}

House 23:

Tarush: Once this hubbub's all settled, I'm heading home to face the music. Time to do right by those folks I wronged... Can't believe I thought I could steal someone else's lunch and simply get away with it!

Sumi: I wonder how Diamond and Pearl Clans are feeling now?

Apella: Pokemon are terribly frightening creatures... And yet... there are moments when I can look upon one and find something to love there.

[flockrest]

munday questions for mumus / @stygicniron, @lunaright, & anonymous

which muse would you say is the most fun to write personally?

heads-up that i may answer some of these with most of my muses in mind, including those not featured on this blog!

as for most fun, is it any surprise that my answer would be tulin! out of all the Little Guys i've actually made a blog for, he's had the advantage of not additionally being an extremely minor or niche character, so levels of engagement from others have been super lovely and crucial in making him the most enjoyable to write! otherwise, toothless from httyd and my wife queen zelda from twilight princess come very close in second place due to being written with close friends in the past.

are there any muses you’ve dropped? if so was there a reason why?

i don't think i've ever consciously dropped a muse? my muses can become inactive ( writing/blogwise ) just because my interests, motivation, and energy are never aligned consistently, but i have yet to write for a character i ended up saying never again to shortly after :)

is there a trend or a specific type of muses you normally tend to pick up?

characterisation and thematic-wise, not really! a majority of my muses are now Little Guys and/or Not Human compared to how i first started out, but it's not like being either of those is a personality trait sldkfjlf the things tying them all together most clearly are that they have all given me the same disgusting amount of brainrot, and i am either extremely unhappy with what their canons have done with them or there is so blissfully little of their canons that i am more than happy to do whatever the heck i want with them!

are there muses that you would like to use more?

i love you tutu, but you gotta give the others here some of the spotlight, seriously lskdfjdkl i'd love to write any of the others on this blog more, but particularly kido! he's my son-boy-lad-baby-darling-child of five years and going! the product of two friends fucking around, but i've run a lot further off with him now that i do get sad thinking about how i can't show this friend ( we are unfortunately no longer in contact ) what i've figured out with him :'D

( thank you to everyone who wants to interact with him btw. you are the realest mvps, i hope you know that )

honestly though, it's kind of my fault for not pushing for anyone other than tuli more, and i understand that minor/more niche characters can be left by the wayside when there's only so much time we all have for this hobby. this is more a case of it is what it is, and i can deal with that! i just hope i'll be able to get more interactions with everyone, not just tulin, as time passes!

which muse has had the biggest change in personality or drastic turns in character development?

good question! maybe rauru? i doubt putting him through several crises in his life doesn't count as drastic turns in development slkfjdlf the only muse i've got who beats him in terms of What Horrors Can Be Inflicted On You would probably be the runaway kid from little nightmares :')

but the one whose organic development surprised me the most is probably kido! he started off as little more than an offshoot of the concept of "collective grief" that i was enabled to taking more seriously, then i really started thinking about his family, and what healing might look like for him, and what it might not look like for him, and before i knew it i had more character thoughts and motivations than i know what to do with?? perks of being a writer ahaha

[bimbeljakartatimur]

Bimbel Jakarta Timur BJTV.eu | Bimbel Jakarta Timur

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33. Video: As for tutorial videos, you can explore the BJTV.eu website. It's a global platform dedicated to enhancing students' logical thinking and academic skills.

Source:

(1) Bimbel Jakarta Timur BJTV.eu. https://www.bjtv.eu/.

(2) . https://bing.com/search?q=bjtv.eu+website+tutorial+video.

(3) . https://bing.com/search?q=bjtv.eu+categories.

(4) bjtv.eu Bimbel Jakarta Timur | Jakarta - Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/bjtv.eu/.

(4) East Jakarta Bimbel Knowledge Base Website BJTV.eu (BJTV ... - Medium. https://medium.com/@rachelandini5/east-jakarta-bimbel-knowledge-base-website-bjtv-eu-bjtv-bimbel-jakarta-timur-video-9b65790526ef.

 (5) . https://bing.com/search?q=bjtv.eu.

 (6) . https://bing.com/search?q=bimbel+jakarta+timur+bjtv.eu.

 (7) CATEGORIES definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary. https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/categories.

(8) category noun - Definition, pictures, pronunciation and usage notes .... https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/category.

(9) category - WordReference.com Dictionary of English. https://www.wordreference.com/definition/category.

(10) CATEGORY definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary. https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/category.

 (11) . https://bing.com/search?q=bjtv.eu+website.

 (12) Latihan Soal Persamaan Kuadrat Bimbel Jakarta Timur - bjtv.eu. https://www.bjtv.eu/2019/08/latihan-soal-persamaan-kuadrat.html?m=0.

 (13) Circle theorems – Variation Theory. https://variationtheory.com/category/geometry-and-measures/circle-theorems/.

(14) Circle Theorems - Math is Fun. https://www.mathsisfun.com/geometry/circle-theorems.html.

[spiritcatcher]

Well OUCH my colours, Tumblr sure did a number on them >>.<< But what’s new eh, Tumblr has a hard time with dark colours and there isn’t much I can do about it XD

SOME CONTEXT: Laniwist owns and operates the biggest traveling circus in the Abyss (Not that there is much competition let’s say) and she picked up a very wounded and disfigured Tuliez on one of the circus’ trips. They have been living in the same cart ever since. Now Tuli here is an Umbicubus and their race is usually only judged based on looks and stuff (Like succubus and incubuses really), so having a their face melted off is probably one of the worst thing you could have done to them. Tuli is also a very kind and polite person and they feel bad breaking things but it helps with their mental state a lot even tho it is a slightly weird coping mechanism. (Even when they do feel better they never quite lose the habit even a few hundred years later)

Lani may also have some *slight* murderous intents...Just slight. (She is basically a tiny but very dangerous momma to a buncha demons the world just doesn’t want anymore)

The whole reasons why Lani hasn’t murdered the perpetrators (yet) is quite complex and involves way too many different characters and stuff for me to explain this in a quick manner so it shall stay like this for now XXD

Am still trying out things (also learning a lot I am extremely out of my comfort zone) and this took well...a lot longer than I wanted it to but I’ve been sicker than usual lately and I am working very slowly between this and my school homework --_--

I’ll try to draw something happier next time XXD

[waywardstation]

Okay so I can’t stop thinking so here’s more fic titles for the ask game: “heart empty, bowl empty”, “the real housewives of Jubilife village”, “Akari says the f word”, and “the eggsorcist”

Thanks for all of these titles!!! “Akari says the f word” knocked me out, and “the eggsorcist” pushed me down before I could stand back up haha

Heart Empty, Bowl Empty

(I have a good one for this, but it’s technically a spoiler for upcoming chapters so I don’t want to mention it ^^;)

Instead, I’ll just say this would go through the events of HFBE from the perspective of the wild Pokémon in the Icelands, how they’re dealing with the food shortage, and what they have to to help themselves - Pearl Clan has Jubilife and the Diamond Clan around. The Pokémon only have each other.

The Real Housewives of Jubilife Village

Assuming this would be a direct rip from the “The Real Housewives” television series haha. Just like the show, it would probably focus on the women of Jubilife (Cyllene, Zisu, Pesselle, Anthe, Arezu, Tuli, etc) and their social lives.

Akari Says the F Word

While Ingo is out gathering with Akari and Rei, Akari slips down a hill and hurts her leg, loudly shouting a creative string of profanity in her pain.

She said what?

Akari is immediately apologetic, Rei finds the phrase hilarious, and Ingo wants to know exactly who taught her that sort of language (He later finds out she’d heard Beni uttering these phrases whenever he’d burn something in the kitchen).

The Eggsorcist

When Akari finds an abandoned egg left behind on the gravestone hillside in the highlands, she takes it back with her to care for and help it hatch. Unable to find any Pokémon around that the egg could belong to, she feels she needs to care for it herself.

She’s unaware that the egg belonged to an Alpha Mismagius, who had fled from the sunrise and assumed it had hidden its egg well enough. Upon returning to the hill at sundown, it finds the egg is now gone. Furious and worried sick, it goes out in search of its only egg, to terrorize the person or Pokémon who took it.

[onecanonlife]

In which Tubbo is playing house with his son and a ghost.

(word count: 726)

-----

It takes his husband dying for them to finally move in together.

It’s very funny, when he thinks about it a certain way. They had that big mansion built and then never moved into it. He mostly lived in Snowchester, and Ranboo mostly lived here next to Technoblade and Philza, and they spent a lot of time together and raised a whole child, but they never lived together.

And now, he’s married to a ghost, and he and Michael are living in the ghost’s home.

He’ll be honest, he has no idea how to feel about it. He’d only just finished grieving. Sort of. Because that’s how grieving works, right? Five stages? Speedrun music? Close enough, at any rate. And it turns out that there’s some part of Ranboo left here after all. This keeps happening to him. People leave, they die, and then they come back, and he’s left wondering what the hell to do. First Wilbur, with Ghostbur showing up the day after. Then Tommy, who got resurrected. And now Ranboo.

Death is—well, he never knows, on this server, and that’s that. He’s starting to suspect he’s never going to be able to deal with anything healthily. But who needs health when you’ve got repression and weaponry?

There’s a lot of Ranboo in Ghostboo. Or whatever he wants to be called. He should probably ask. Later. There’s a lot of Ranboo in him no matter what his name is, and that makes it easy to pretend that Ranboo’s alive, if he lets his eyes go all squinty, his vision blurring to the point where the blood smeared on his shirt is nothing more than a colorful blob, the gaping wound nothing but a line of—paint, maybe. Because Ranboo’s blood is—was—red and green, for some unknown reason.

There’s a lot of Ranboo in Ghostboo. And yet, there isn’t; Ghostboo is apathetic where Ranboo cared a whole lot about literally everything literally all of the time, to the point of indecisiveness and anxiety. Ghostboo doesn’t give a shit about any kind of material possessions, where Ranboo was one rich motherfucker. He supposes that’s all his now, as a widower. Ghostboo doesn’t seem to mind. And Ghostboo also doesn’t seem to care much about his living conditions, or himself as a person, but who is Tubbo to judge about that? Even if he can’t help but wonder how much of that is Ghostboo, and how much of that was Ranboo. How much Ranboo might have kept from him, even still.

Everyone’s got secrets, though. He’s got his own.

In the end, Ranboo crouches down to look at Michael and stares with such adoration in his eyes, speaks in such a soft and awe-filled tone, that Tubbo can’t help but think that somehow, this is still going to work out. Sure, he’d prefer his husband to be living. Maybe there’s something to be done about that yet. But Ranboo loves Michael, and Ranboo gave him a flower, and Ranboo is still here, in some form or fashion, so forget about grieving. He’s made do with far worse.

He’ll live in Ranboo’s—Ghostboo’s—house with him. They’ll raise Michael together—already, something in him has settled, that despair that he worked to cover over with anger, chased away by the feeling of his son in his arms, his son alright and alive and unharmed and apparently eager to be home—just like they have before. Techno can babysit. It’s nice to have made up with Techno; this server really is too difficult to live on and hold a grudge, and the apology was nice. He never really thought he’d get a sincere one.

This will work out. They’ll be safe as they can be, considering the circumstances. He’ll live with Ranboo, and not think about the fact that it only took Ranboo dying for them to reach that step.

It’s still really fucking funny, if he looks at it a certain way. And he’s going to keep looking at it in that certain way. No point in not. Crying never got anyone anywhere.

And at least, it will be hard for Dream to kill someone who is already dead. So maybe Ghostboo’s in the best position of them all.

He plants the flower in the snow. A pink tulip. It’s pretty. He hopes it lives.

[sixstepsaway]

An indicator of how deep I am into the Izzy brainrot is that "Hellfire" from Hunchback of Notre Dame (or rather the cover version of Jonathan Young) just played in my playlist and I couldn't help but think about Izzy in love (and being very dramatic about it.). Maybe with Stede? Though it probably works with anyone from the Crew of the Revenge.

Honestly I couldn't stop wondering how I could make this song about him .

Like instead of being a servant of God and feeling like he should be above such desires like lust and love, Izzy is a servant for Ed. Being is First Mate, being loyal for year, no matter what. Never asking for love or touch but instead enjoying every touch (no matter how kind or unkind) or word and attention from Ed he can get.

And it's not love or lust Izzy tuly sees as the "sin" but rather the softness which comes with it. He isn't used to it, it isn`t what life taught him or what Ed ever gave him, so he views it as wrong and dangerous.

And also Izzy always going to extreme with his emotions (probably because he bottles them up). Izzy being ready to hurt someone he has fallen in love with because he sees his feelings as wrong and don't know how to deal with them. But at the same time also feeling possessiveness and jealously. Making him feel even more confused and torn.

(Also added Bonus if it's Stede is always the image of Izzy not allowing himself soft live but seeing the closest thing to a god for him living this "sin".

So he tries to remove the source these feelings to protect his "god' from falling and to save himself from the temptation as well. Hurting both Ed and himself and the process. And suddenly the touch and pain be was starved from Ed, the attention and life he wanted become well...painful... hellish)

Ah, but I love the Izzy Brainrot™.

I am not allowed to embed anything on tumblr currently it seems, but here's the song.

ARCHDEACON & PRIESTS Confiteor Deo Omnipotenti (I confess to God almighty) Beatae Mariae semper Virgini (To blessed Mary ever Virgin) Beato Michaeli archangelo (To the blessed archangel Michael) Sanctis apostolis omnibus sanctis (To the holy apostles, to all the saints)

FROLLO Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud PRIESTS (Et tibi Pater (And to you, Father)) FROLLO Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd PRIESTS (Quia peccavi nimis (That I have sinned)) FROLLO Then tell me, Maria Why I see her dancing there Why her smold'ring eyes still scorch my soul PRIESTS (Cogitatione (In thought)) FROLLO I feel her, I see her The sun caught in her raven hair Is blazing in me out of all control PRIESTS (Verbo et opere (In word and deed))

FROLLO Like fire Hellfire This fire in my skin This burning Desire Is turning me to sin

It's not my fault (Mea culpa (Through my fault)) I'm not to blame (Mea culpa (Through my fault)) It is the gypsy girl The witch who sent this flame (Mea maxima culpa (Through my most griveous fault)) It's not my fault (Mea culpa (Through my fault)) If in God's plan (Mea culpa (Through my fault)) He made the devil so much Stronger than a man (Mea maxima culpa (Through my most grievious fault)) Protect me, Maria Don't let the siren cast her spell Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone Destroy Esmeralda And let her taste the fires of Hell! Or else let her be mine and mine alone

(song pauses, guard knocks on the door) GUARD Minister Frollo, the gypsy has escaped. FROLLO (speaking) What? GUARD She's nowhere in the cathedral. She's gone. FROLLO But how? I… Never mind. Get out, you idiot! I'll find her! I'll find her if I have to burn down all of Paris!

(song resumes) Hellfire Dark fire Now gypsy, it's your turn Choose me or Your pyre Be mine or you will burn (Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)) God have mercy on her (Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)) God have mercy on me (Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)) But she will be mine Or she will burn!

You wrote so much excellent stuff here that I don't really have a good response for it, except to post it and say everyone should read it. But I love this song (I haven't heard/seen the Hunchback of Notre Dame (I know, I know...) and it was great to listen to without the context of the actual thing.

This bit though:

And also Izzy always going to extreme with his emotions (probably because he bottles them up). Izzy being ready to hurt someone he has fallen in love with because he sees his feelings as wrong and don't know how to deal with them. But at the same time also feeling possessiveness and jealously. Making him feel even more confused and torn.

WHEW WOW NONNY.

[gogogobarry]

oh i love these prompts! fireworks, tomorrow, or return for it! feel free to pick any you want, or go wild and do all of 'em if you'd like! :D

ONE WORD PROMPT DRABBLES! | not accepting (planning to do one a day!)

fireworks + tomorrow + return for @volot !!

“Hey hey, come one, and come all! Tonight, Jubilife Village is the number-one party spot in all of Hisui! Yes!” Barry proclaims, grinning ear to ear as he throws his arms wide open, gesturing gleefully towards the decorated shops lining Canala Avenue. “Welcome to our first annual spring festival, presented by me--Young Oran, tonight’s Magnificent Master of Ceremonies--and the rest of the Gingko Guild! Not bad for a ragtag bunch of merchants, eh? Oh, and hey--don’t forget, there’s gonna be deals, raffles, games...all that fun stuff, all night long! Let’s just have a blast, okay? Oran out!”

The gathered villagers whoop and cheer as Barry takes a much-deserved bow, some of them already munching on assorted Honey Cakes, fresh-picked Berries, and Beni’s irresistible festival-edition mochi. The entire avenue is strung up in warm lights, with nearly every resident either happily milling about or providing games and wares from their typical wooden stalls. Anthe is all smiles as she shows off her new festival fashions, receiving choruses of oohs and ahhs from an awed audience. Even Dagero seems more energized then usual, his finger flying to the camera shutter as he snaps photos of posing Pokemon, abashed couples, and giggling friend groups against the colorful backdrop. 

For a first-time event held on this scale, everything is going amazingly well so far--and Barry just can’t stop smiling. Even the weather--evidenced by the slew of stars twinkling above his head--couldn’t be more perfect. As he strolls down the crowded village street, hands jammed into the pockets of his Gingko uniform, people pause to offer him words of thanks, maybe even a hearty clap on the back. Yes, Barry can be an absolute nuisance sometimes--his early morning hawking of goods gets old fast--but everyone knows that he’s the true mastermind behind this impulsive festival, working so hard to bring this grandiose vision into reality. Bravo.

“Hey Tules! Everything good?” he calls out, offering the passing Guild member a jaunty salute as they exchange grinning nods. Selling wares isn’t the main point of this event, but Barry still can’t wait for Tuli to crunch the numbers in the morning--the guild is out in full force tonight after all, so a massive profit is inevitable. They were all going to be rich. Maybe grumpy ol’ Ginter would even crack a smile for once...  

Barry’s smile continues to be omnipresent as he rounds on the Gingko camp’s crackling fire, his expression only brightening further once he spots the familiar figure seated at the flame’s edge. Volo had just returned from one of his mysterious regional trips--right on time--so the elder Guild figure understandably seemed a bit out of it tonight, his unwavering gaze fixed on the gaping celestial instability looming over the distant Mount Coronet. Yes, the atmosphere at the camp--somewhat removed from the main festival thoroughfare--is pensive, refreshingly peaceful...until it isn’t. Thank you, Oran.

“Hey, hey...earth to Big Bro! You in there, buddy?” Barry crows impatiently, sliding in right beside Volo and snorting as the older merchant--snapped out of his tired reverie--flinches at his sudden arrival. “C’mon, you’re the one who always tells me to...uh, keep my senses alert, or whatever--what happened to you? Maybe it’s your old age, or maybe I’ve just gotten sneakier, eh?”

“Hm! Maybe you have...” Volo responds lightly, stifling a yawn as he takes stock of the distant festival...and the restless boy who’s eagerly perched next to him, ready to drink in his every word. It’s Volo’s turn to smile now, and the de facto star of the Gingko Guild throws an arm around his wannabe protégé, giving Barry’s shoulder a supportive squeeze. ”I must say, this festival is truly impressive so far, Oran. You should feel very proud, taking the reins to lead something like this all by yourself.”

Barry’s eyes widen, his cheeks almost immediately flushing pink. “I-I had a bit of help. From Tules, Choy, y’know...” he mutters dismissively, clapping an embarrassed hand to the back of his neck. Contrary to his usual all-me attitude, the young blond seems almost flustered as he grins down at his boots, sits up a little straighter. It’s clear that Volo’s approval means so much to him--as usual--even as this rare moment of modesty inevitably fades away.

“...Man, I could’ve used your help with the sales pitch though. Do you know how hard it was to convince Boss Cyllene and Pops that this party was all worth it? Yeesh,” Barry grouses lightly, poking Volo in the ribs. “I kept reminding myself--what would Big Bro say?--and then I just kept talking until both of them rolled their eyes and said party on! Score one for Oran--I learned from the best speaker ever, right? Oh!”

Barry abruptly leaps out of his seat as if zapped by a phantom Thundershock, causing poor Volo to flinch again. “That reminds me! I gotta show you and the whole village something super cool! I know you’re probably pooped, but you don’t even have to move, okay? I’ll be right back!” The overexcited organizer takes a few steps before skidding in his tracks and whirling around. “Oh! And that also reminds me--once I’m done, wanna come down to the Ave and say hi to everybody? I know you’re probably pooped, but I promise the festival’s fun! I mean, everyone wants to see you and hear your latest stories...just think on it, yeah?” But don’t move just yet, Mr. Popular! I’ll be back in a flash--count me down, Big Bro!” 

However, Barry zips off before Volo can even open his mouth to respond (or even count), leaving a very bewildered Hisuian traveler in his wake. What is even happening right now? Perhaps it’s the spirit of the festival, but Barry seems more frenetic than normal...if that’s even possible.

BANG!

A loud sound suddenly tears through the evening air, almost causing Volo to pitch backwards off his log stool. His eyes are immediately drawn skyward, mouth dropping open as multicolored lights dazzle the celestial canvas overhead. The merchant hears oohs and cheering from the Village’s center...and then Barry all but reappears in front of him, panting with hands planted on his knees. Young Oran is positively beaming now.

“Did...did you see that, Big Bro? It worked! They actually work!” he celebrates, dancing around Volo’s log with glee. “I present you with...Hisui’s first homemade fireworks! Look, look, here comes another one!”

Another impromptu firework arcs into the sky, prompting yet another majestic flash. Barry is excitedly rambling on about working with Choy to craft the colorful explosives from the fuses of discarded Pokeballs, but Volo isn’t paying much attention, his unwavering gaze fixed on the brilliant explosions. As the dependable Anvin launches the full arsenal of custom fireworks from the farm fields (Galaxy Corps permission for this be damned!), Barry finally runs himself out of steam and and plops down next to Volo again, the two merchants gazing up at the triumphant scene in thoughtful silence.

The explosions are so bright yet so fleeting, and Barry finds himself wishing that the momentary splashes of color would stick around for just a little longer. He harbors the same feelings towards this festival--this celebration of how far Jubilife has come--and part of him selfishly wishes that tomorrow would never arrive, wishes that he could just capture this singular evening in a capsule and exist in it forever. He lets out a sigh of contentment. Perhaps the fact that he can never return to such a perfect, temporary moment...is what makes tonight so special in the first place. 

Volo’s eyes are also trained on the fireworks, though his gaze lingers on what happens after the explosion, when the discarded, burnt-out embers descend sadly to the earth. He frowns to himself--the fleetingness of this display shouldn’t disappoint him so much, but it does. Inevitably, he finds himself staring at the spacetime distortion portal looming above the Coronet Highlands, the ominous problem that this festival has tried to ignore. Unlike the fireworks, the portal’s light endures. Unlike the fireworks, the portal is only growing stronger, brighter over time. The white light sears Volo’s vision, reminding him of his greater mission. Once he makes his play, there is no returning to the Village, the Guild, anything resembling normalcy. After he’s ascended, he can finally abandon this pointless façade...and become so much more.    

On Volo’s side, Barry sighs again, his hazel eyes twinkling with innocent wonder and big dreams. For someone who’s always rushing towards something new, he is truly content to stay in this moment for once. After all, there’s always tomorrow, and--this time--tomorrow can wait, just this once.

Volo sighs too, turning away from the distortion with a pang in his chest. For someone who always acts so casual and composed, he finds himself filled with an insatiable restlessness, the need to further his own goals preoccupying his mind above all else. The mask he wears is slipping more and more every day. Soon. He is so close. 

Tomorrow can’t come fast enough.    

[callmeasyouwantidk]

Okay guys I know this will probably seem wierd but I really need help getting some specific info and I don't know how please don't think I'm a psycho.

By the way Imma about to talk about some sensitive stuff that Tuli-chan might wanna not read and like if you don't like scary talk you might wanna skip the following text and just read the summary.

Okay so the deal is I am trying to write a serious book now (or at least a story sketch that I can transform into a serious book later) and basically the problematic situation is that there's this man in mid century who was a slave for 13 years but his master got bored of "playing" with him and decided to kill him but the master is basically a bitch and a sadist so he makes like a giant bonfire like the ones they would burn witches at and burned his slave alive so I need to describe that in terms like

"how did it feel? Like, 'he felt his feet get warmer and warmer as the fire fastly spread closer to him until it became so hot it started to hurt' "or something

"in what stages does a body burn? Like does it get u layer by layer or does it just burst in and cook you in all sides"

Or "how fast and painfully does the fire spread on the body?"

Or "how long does it take for a person to die from fire and what exactly (or at least theoretically) do you feel when you die in fire"

And stuff like that. Google doesn't give answer. All I keep seeing is cremation and it's not what I need. See that's why writers should have a doctor friend but how do I get one? I don't know but I need answers. Help.

Summary:

I need detailed info on death process in different situations but don't know how to get it. Help.

@tuliharja, @nobodysperfect2133, @avokkun, @akimurachang, @rainbowsnowflake, @saving-empress-ac, @leska-lad, @honey-lavender-ace

[asrisgratitudejournal]

99

Haha ini title postnya berdasarkan jumlah followers tumblr ku yang sekarang ada 99. Ternyata si postingan Jardine itu sangat laku ya. Padahal ini awal pembuatan tumblrnya adalah to deal with my depression karena merasa nggak berprogres dalam hidup makanya mau nulis things to be grateful for setiap hari atau seminggu 1x lah minimal, dan to make myself feel better. Anyway, mungkin berterimakasih dulu ke kak Dea yang sudah membuatku menulis tentang experience Jardine walaupun itu TMI semua isinya. Sepertinya ku memang harus di-push atau diminta gitu deh baru bisa produktif hm. Sekarang pun sebetulnya masih ada PR ke Kak Davit karena dia minta ku bikin tulisan tentang “ekosistem pendidikan di oxford university yang baik untuk diteladani” untuk di-pos di webnya beliau. Cuma ya gitu, ku tunda-tunda terus karena merasa kurang materi alias susah juga karena aku belajarnya S3 kan di sini, dan aku gapernah tahu S3 di Indonesia kaya gimana(?) jadi nggak apple to apple. Atau ya sebetulnya bisa sih aku tulis tentang S1… well, anyway, pada akhirnya aku mengeluarkan excuses aja sih ini HAHA. Tapi aku coba deh mulai drafting at least outlinenya aja today (ini juga merupakan salah satu usahaku untuk avoiding working today sepertinya…. termasuk dengan menulis post ini juga…)

Terakhir ngepos ternyata minggu lalu! Tanggal 7 September imagine. Itu juga buat julid…. yang betul-betul ngelist things to be grateful tanggal 5 september alias Sabtu minggu lalu. Dari hari itu ke Senin ini udah ada ribuan events deh kayanya, dari yang paling early dulu ya:

Berhasil datang ke departemen pagi ini! Sampai dept jam 9.15 am WOW pagi banget ya. Ini kayanya perdana deh ku berhasil sampai jam segitu selain emang harus ngelab. Ini tapi ku merasa udah agak kesiangan sesungguhnya. Besok mencoba jam 9 teng sudah sampai office ah. Oh iya, ku lagi program akan WFO tiap hari mulai Senin ini! Karena sudah lifted semua restriction kan. Dan memang sepertinya akan jauh lebih produktif kalau ke office. Hari ini targetnya adalah: melihat dan ngeplot data %S yang sudah kudapatkan dari lab di RHUL!

Sudah vote round 1 Ketua PPI UK juga! Sepertinya karena pandeminya sudah mulai berakhir jadi lebih seru ya. Tahun lalu seingatku calonnya cuma 2(?) dan memang ku belum eligible to vote juga sih waktu itu jadi nggak terlalu ngikutin. Tapi yang sekarang ini ada 4 kandidat dan salah satunya aku kenal hehe, sayangnya nggak bisa jadi timses karena masih dihitung sebagai pengurus PPI UK aktif kan sekarang. Anyway, YES sebentar lagi dekomisioner!!! Akhirnyaaaaaaaaaa

Kemarin Minggu plannya mau istirahat aja aslinya. Memang ada kelas DD dan Raka sampe dari jam 0800 sampai jam 1200, terus tadinya pengen nggak ngapa-ngapain aja seharian atau nonton Hometown Cha3x atau Money Heist gitu. Eh tapi tiba-tiba jadi banyak banget agenda after lunch… Call sama sampah, terus meeting sama Bapak Ibu juri juga bahas soal yang bakal keluar besok, paling highlight itu ditelpon sama Teh Rosi sih, dia lagi otw Oxford mau shooting-in Mas Indra terus butuh cameo gitu… jadi yasudahlah langsung mandi saya dan cabs ketemuan di Radcam jam 1500. Seru nemenin Mas Indra shooting di Christchurch meadow, terus beresnya dianter pulang ke rumah sama Teh Rosi + dikasih berkat banyak bangeeet: tahu mentah buat dimasak, nasi biryani, bihun, gorengan bakwan, mini lumpia ebi, kastangel… wow betul-betul yah berkat dari silaturahmi…..

Sabtu malam ku berhasil masak nasigoreng! Kemarin dikirimin abon dari Indo dititipin via Alris, ini abon daging kurban di Karanganyar dibawain papaku ke Jakarta pas PPKM huhu terharu banget gaksi. Yaudah karena ku biasanya makan abon pake nasgor, akhirnya beres badminton (YANG MANA ADL CAPEK BGT) memutuskan untuk ke Sainsburys buat beli tomat dan timun untuk dimakan dengan nasgor + abon. Kebetulan masih punya ayam KFC sisa juga. Jadi ku goreng bareng aja itu ayamnya setelah ku-suwir. Sampe sekarang nasgornya masih ada di kulkas btw….. karena mayan banyak porsinya ku masaknya. Satu hal yang betul-betul baru kusadari lagi setelah kemarin masak: banyak banget cucian piring HUHU. Akhirnya tapi kutinggalin aja itu di sink sampai Minggu pagi sebelum kelas DD baru kucuci…

Sabtu Badminton as usual! Terus ramai ber-8, Prama ngebook 2 courts. Tapi sedih banget starting from next week there’s no more court in Brookes that we can use karena udah ga covid kan… terus kayanya ya courtnya akan dipake sama anak-anak Brookes aja terutama karena ada freshers event and everything ☹ sekarang lagi mikir sih gimana main habis ini hmmm tadi googling ada session di Iffley tapi sama si OUBC gitu. Probably I’ll try that one(?)

Jumat ketemu sama Tamsin ngobrol banyak banget dan senang banget juga! Udah ada target buat submit paper by Christmas this year. Semua data udah ada di aku kan, jadi memang betul-betul tinggal analisis dan nulis aja sekarang…. huf doakan aku ya manteman! Kami juga bahas what to do for the 2nd chapter of my thesis and what’s the plan after I finish my dphil. I’m just so happy to be able to talk freely with my spv tho! :))))

Kamis ke London!!! Ada lunch sama Jardine di kantor mereka terus I got to see so many new people! Jelas ketemu dengan Ben dan Adam Keswicknya langsung *huhu imagine, orang yang meng-inves £40k++ per tahun ke diriku yang worthless ini* -- tbh foodnya ok aja tapi ya experiencenya sih yang memang sangat berharga. Bisa ketemu dengan teman-teman sesame scholars di Oxbridge, ada yang udah submit disertasi tinggal nunggu viva, ada undergrads juga. I’m not into meeting new people sebetulnya. Tapi ya akibat pandemic and I literally just came to a new place where I don’t know anyone, ya lagi-lagi silaturahmi alias networking itu harus dibangun… habis lunch, jalan-jalan ke Chinatown di London. Beli bubble tea yang sangat enak di Kissaten!!! Super wajib beli anyone kalau ke London. Habis itu nemenin Gabriella nyari snowy mooncake rasa white peach ke supermarket-supermarket di Chinatown. Terus ke Oseyo juga! Itu Korean supermarket di London, yang mana ku beli Cold Brew packaging BTS di situ (baru beli RM dan Jimin sih). Terus abis itu ketemu sama Angel yang besoknya akan kembali ke Indonesia. Akhirnya ketemu juga sama teman-teman PPI UK -ku. Balik-balik sampai Ox jam 8 pm gitu? Laper banget akhirnya beli kebab seturunnya bis dan lucunya si Wian melihat ku lagi jajan kebab haha dia baru balik dari lab ceunah. Padahal siangnya ya kami ketemuan juga di lunch Jardine, tapi nggak ngobrol banyak sih cuma papasan aja karena kami beda ruangan.

Rabu-Selasa-Senin kayanya w lagi fase low mood aja jadi nggak ngapa-ngapain, literally stay at home doing nothing. Berusaha untuk baca paper tapi ya gitu lah… sekarang targetnya sebetulnya adalah submit paper ke jurnal karena sudah lewat deadline untuk CPUI ke PUI haha. Doakan aku ya wankawan.

Ah! Minggunya minggu lalu! Terakhir kan ku cerita akan ada talk GEA ya, itu kayanya ngeposnya pagi deh. Terus yaudah, akhirnya talk GEAnya lancar Alhamdulillah (sekali lagi terima kasih kepada Devyul dan tim atas kesempatannya, semoga bermanfaat acaranya). Terus habis itu ke rumah Mas Indra lah saya, dimasakin steak! sangat enak lalu main boardgame: Ticket to Ride (in which I lose ☹) terus ngobrol-ngobrol dan kemudian pulang. Sampai rumah jam 9 pm-an I think…

Wow panjang juga post ini haha. Tapi memang eventful banget last weekend. Bagus sih tapi jadinya I feel like I’m more alive (?) somehow. Oh iya keluarga juga back home Alhamdulillah sehat-sehat, kemarin mama malahan abis main ke puncak sama grup senamnya hadeh. Aku gatau seperti apa kondisi Indonesia sekarang, but thankfully I see less sad thread/stories on twitter(?). Semoga membaik ya. I think the PPKM thing is implemented well. Hope things get better soon!

30.18 11.17 am 13/09/2021

[urmomsstuntdouble]

if you’re okay with hetalia! I would love anything with the nyo!nordics they are absolutely my guilty pleasure. it can be shippy or familial or whatever else. I’m partial to stupid AUs like “they all work at the mall but don’t match their stores at all” and “iceland is into vocaloid” but you could also go the complete opposite direction and I’d be just as happy with high fantasy or whatever inspires you :)

here ya go i guess. sorry this took so long, i sort of got carried away with it and now it is Lorge. is it good? in character? who knows. anyway, i hope you enjoy :)

December 19, 20XX

After five years of living together, there were certain things Ylva had come to expect of her roommates. Harassment at work was nearly a given when one of them had a problem, whether it was Runa needing a place to sleep for the night or Maija needing to workshop material for her latest gig. Thankfully, Ylva worked at a Color Me Mine instead of a bank or something serious. And today was no exception to the Workplace  Harassment Rule. At 7:32, Maija burst through the front door and charged over to where Ylva was filling bottles of glaze. If she were any other customer, someone might have something to say about it, but by now, every staff member was acquainted with her and found her charming. Some had even been disappointed to hear she was taken, though Ylva couldn't imagine why. Her girlfriend was a fucking nightmare.

“I need to paint some mugs,” Maija demanded, tossing the end of her scarf over her shoulder. Ylva didn't look up, didn't even take her headphones out of her ears.

“Cool.”

“For Tuli and Astrid. For Christmas.” 

“There have been enough Color Me Mine presents circulated within our apartment already,” Ylva said. The bottle of glaze had been filled, and it was time to move on to the next one. It was butter yellow, almost the same shade as Maija’s hair. 

“Okay, you’re not wrong, but if I order on Amazon, it’s not gonna come on time. Also, you’ll get paid this way.” Maija moved a clump of hair away from her forehead with delicate fingers, as though it were made of glass. Ylva snorted, cracking open the yellow glaze.  

“My knight in shining armor,” She said, “It’s not like this place is going under.” Quite the contrary, in fact. This close to Christmas, the place was packed as people scrambled to make gifts for their loved ones. Dumbasses. When they rushed the place, it was nearly impossible to get everyone’s stuff through the kiln in time for Christmas. 

“Okay, well, have you considered that I’m your girlfriend?” Maija said, giving her best puppy dog eyes. Ylva rolled her eyes, trying to suppress the warmth she felt inside, and shrugged. 

“I’d like to not pay rent next month,” She said, “Make that your Christmas present to me. Instead of paying my share of the rent, I get to pay off my student loans.” Maija rolled her eyes, but shifted closer to Ylva. 

“Done, if I can make them mugs.” 

“Fine.” Ylva glanced up at Maija. “Your hair looks cute today.” 

“Oh, thanks! I’ve actually been wearing a hat all day, so I was worried it would look ugly, but…Anyway. So, I sent Runa some tickets to my show on Saturday, but I haven’t heard back from her. Do you know if she’s, like, alright?” Once again, Ylva had to shrug. 

“Runa’s a big girl, she can handle herself.” 

“I know, but I get so worried about her. Like, what if some handsome boy seduces her and she runs away from home, and-”

“My sister? Run away with a boy?” Ylva had to laugh. “Are you high?” Of all the reasons Runa had to run away from their mother’s house, a boy was not one of them. She’d be more likely to start her own brand of sweaters or write a TV show for Netflix, but never once had Runa talked about boys. 

“Whatever. Is she doing okay?” 

“I think so. I’ve been sending her money for a couple weeks, so I know she’s not starving.” Ylva had to take comfort in that. The truth was, she hadn’t heard from her sister in a while, and it was becoming unnerving. But if she got anxious about it, so would Maija, and an anxious Maija was no fun to deal with.

“Besides, when has she ever missed one of your shows?” Runa made it a point to go whenever one of them had a gig. She was always in the front row when Ylva’s band, Lithium, was playing, and always somewhere in the room when Maija was doing “comedy.” Cringing along with the rest of the audience. 

“That’s true. I just wanna make sure she’s safe, you know?” Ylva nodded. It was a feeling she knew all too well. Looking after Runa defined her middle school career. 

“What sort of mugs do you want?” She asked, changing the subject. She was tired of talking about her sister, tired of thinking about all the ways Runa could end up dead in a ditch. Or dead some other way, like drugs or if she ate scallops, which she was allergic to, or if she got too close to some birds while trying to take a picture and got hit by a car. 

“Oh, um, I think Tuli likes the round ones.” 

“All mugs are round,” Ylva snorted. Her manager probably wouldn’t notice if she wandered away to paint mugs with Maija. She stopped pretending to fill bottles of glaze and stowed the refills under the table, where they usually lived, and guided Maija over to the selection of paintable ceramics. 

“This is what I mean,” Maija said, grabbing a mug from the top shelf. Ylva enjoyed the way her hoodie moved, how the fabric straightened against her waist while she rose to her toes. The mug in question was wide at the bottom, but the sides slowly curved up to the top, not unlike a sugar pot. It was cute, and exactly the sort of mug Tuli would like. 

“Oh,” Ylva said, “That’s cute. I think Astrid would like that one.” She pointed at another mug on the top shelf, and took pleasure in watching her girlfriend stretch to reach it. Over the next few hours, Maija painted the mugs. Her efforts to be artistic were sincere, but it was clear she didn't have the attention span. As always, Maija never stopped rambling and never stopped making jokes out of everything. By now, Ylva was immune to most of it, although she did laugh at the occasional joke while picking bits of clay dust out from under her fingernails. Once most of the customers had left, she kicked up her boots on the table, which was mostly an excuse to show off her fishnet leggings to Maija. 

“I think I’m done,” Maija said a couple hours later, paintbrush between her teeth as she stared down at her work. Both mugs were sloppily painted, but Ylva could see what they were supposed to be. Astrid’s was a reference-less portrait of her dog on one side, with cherry blossoms covering the rest of the mug, and Tuli’s had a rainbow painted along the handle and a bunch of Pokemon adorning the outside. Well, Pokemon via the brush of an ill-experienced painter. There were some that erred more to the side of horrific than cute, but Ylva knew what Maija was going for. 

“They look like shit,” She said, “They’re gonna love them.”

“Hey!” 

“You can’t tell me this is supposed to be Eevee,” She said, tapping what looked like a bear on the side of Tuli’s mug. Maija’s face fell, a pout gracing her lips. 

“It was supposed to be a Pikachu.” 

“That’s talent, I guess,” Ylva said, “Or lack thereof. Don’t worry, you’re talented in other areas.” She tacked on at the end, when Maija’s pout increased. 

“Well, that’s rude. Can we go do the glaze now?” 

“They’re already glazed,” Ylva said, “The next coat is just to protect them when they go in the kiln. But you can come.” The pair stood up, and made their way to the back room, where Ylva removed her fishnet gloves and dunked each mug in the pre-kiln glaze, then set them aside to dry. Before she could put her gloves back on, Maija snatched one of her hands.

“I need my hand,” She complained, but allowed Maija to press a kiss to her knuckles and pull her into a hug. It was nice, after a day on her feet, to lean against someone she loved.

“This is nice,” Maija murmured, breath warm against her neck. Ylva shivered at the feeling, and though she wanted to rub her face further into Maija’s shoulder, she couldn’t walk out of the back room with smudged eyeliner, so she stayed put.

“How was your day today?” Ylva asked, her voice muffled somewhat by the hoodie.

“Long,” Maija said, “Feels like yesterday was years ago, and I didn't do anything the whole time. You?”

“I’ve been at work,” Ylva said, closing her eyes. She could almost ignore the ache in her feet when she focussed on how warm Maija was and the pressure of arms on her back. 

“Mm,” Maija hummed, “When do the mugs go in the kiln?” 

“When they’re dry,” Ylva mumbled, swaying slightly. She missed this. Even though she was done with school, no one else in the apartment was. Finals week was almost done, though- Which reminded her, Maija really needed to be studying. She had a test tomorrow. Eh, she’d already spent two hours painting mugs. A few more minutes spent hugging wouldn't hurt. 

“That’s annoying,” Maija said, her voice high and soft. Her sentence was punctuated with a yawn, and Ylva was glad her face was hidden, because how dare someone make a sound so cute. The smile on her face would become a target for mockery, and go straight to Maija’s ego. 

“My shift ends soon,” Ylva said, clenching her fingers in the back of Maija’s hoodie. 

“Yeah.” 

“The car’s not far.” 

“Thought Tuli took the car to school today,” Maija mumbled, straight into some of Ylva’s hair. 

“Astrid got them an Uber,” Ylva said. This was where it was at, even though Maija was insufferable most of the time. Conversations that meant nothing, hugs, and the comfortable familiarity of someone she’d loved for a long time. But, technically, she was still on the job. So she pulled away, gave Maija’s hand a quick squeeze, and left the back room feeling energized.

December 20, 20XX

“Do you think I should dye my hair?” Maija asked, leaning heavily against the shopping cart. 

“Mm. It could look cute. What color are you thinking?” Tuli asked, not pausing in her examination of the supermarket’s selection of spices. Maija clicked her tongue, and ran her hand through some heavily gelled hair. 

“Oh, you know. Blue and pink are the classic colors, but what if I got, like, green or something? That would be pretty neat.” Tuli plucked something from the shelf and returned to the cart. 

“But: Are you biased to dye it green right now because green is a Christmas color?” Hm, that was a good point. 

“I don't think so?” Maija said, “I mean, green’s a nice color.” 

“That it is,” Tuli agreed, and laid a hand on the shopping cart. “What else did they tell us to get?” Maija pulled a crumpled up list of ingredients out of her back pocket, and read over them. From the looks of the shopping cart, most of it had already been gathered. 

“Uh, craisins. And…those sprinkles that are actually eyes?” 

“Oh!” Tuli smiled, “I put that. I wanted to put them on cupcakes, but then I didn't really plan anything else, so…I guess I’ll just end up eating a bunch of eyeball sprinkles. Or maybe someone else will do something with them.” Tuli shrugged, and brushed some hair out of her eyes. “So. Craisins.” 

“Craisins ahoy,” Maija replied, though she wasn't sure what Craisins ahoy actually meant. To her knowledge, most Christmas meals did not include craisins, but when Ylva and Astrid were in the kitchen, she did not question them. They were magicians of the culinary persuasion, except for when Astrid tried to say that bananas on pizza were good. No, Maija hadn't tried it, she would not try it, and it was not good. End of discussion.

“Craisins,” Tuli agreed, and turned away to search for them, leaving Maija to follow behind with the cart. Though they were out for craisins, both of them had a habit of picking up interesting foods, sharing it with the other, and deciding if it was actually worth buying. Jalapeno chocolates? Yes, but we can't tell the others it’s spicy. Mango flavored tea? Not actually that interesting, but the box was pretty. 

“Hey, Tuli,” Maija asked while they were waiting in line at the checkout. 

“Mm?”

“Do you like Pokemon?” 

“Oh, yeah! I was super competitive on the Pokemon scene in middle school. I was one of, like, three kids who actually knew how the card game worked,” She said. 

“I didn't know I was in the presence of royalty,” Maija teased. Tuli gave a soft laugh, and adjusted her hoodie. 

“Plot twist,” Tuli said, “I’m actually both Jessie and James, smashed into one body.” She laughed at her own joke, though it wasn't funny. Maija gave her a pity laugh though. 

“Oh, move the cart up,” Maija said, and Tuli did, pulling the cart after her. The store was super crowded today- Probably not the wisest idea to save the shopping until this close to the holiday, but oh well. At least Maija had gifts for everyone this year. She was rather proud of that. It was worthy of straightening her bow tie- If she had been wearing a bow tie, that is. She should get more of those. Insufficient bow ties was an excellent description of her wardrobe. Unfortunately. 

All in all, the trip to the store lasted about two and a half hours. Not too shabby for a pre-Christmas haul, if Maija had anything to say about it, and soon enough, they were back home. Ylva was out at work, and Astrid was busy working on her thesis, so the pair set about to silently put all the new groceries away. Once that was done, they traipsed off to their respective rooms. Maija knew she had to work on her new set, but couldn't think of anything funny. Literally, hours went by and she was still staring at the same blank screen. How fun. 

Eventually, she got bored and sent Astrid the link to a YouTube video called i sword fight my ex gf in a denny’s parking lot with the caption omg this is so us!!1!. A couple minutes later she was rewarded with the word Blocked, despite not actually getting blocked. Love you too bab <3. No response. At least Ylva thought she was sort of funny. Or at least, funny enough to go to her shows. Did Ylva actually think she was funny? As if they hadn't had that conversation before. But, Ylva was on her mind, so Ylva she would text. babe. A couple minutes passed before the response of what.

am i funny

You’re the courtiest of court jesters. i lose my spleen laughing every time i go to one of your shows. 

Though Ylva still had her spleen, the message was reassuring. 

should i dye my hair

Idc, its not my hair. A pause. also i got your dumb mugs

yay! 

Ah, punctuation. Noice. Ttyl. Maija sighed at that, and returned to staring blankly at her laptop. Maybe she could write some jokes about her weird, not-quite-rivalry with Astrid. Or her relationship? Something didn't sit right with her about mocking her girlfriend on stage. It was only funny when Ylva could mock her back. And that was how Maija wound up watching clips of various comedians until the evening rolled around and Ylva came home. 

“Hey,” Maija said, “Tell me what to write about.” Ylva paused for a second, taking off her coat and boots. 

“How girls always dye their hair blond but do it so you can see their roots.” 

“What?” 

“‘Cause they’re, like, into beauty but half ass it when it comes to their hair,”

Ylva said, “It’s irony or whatever.” Maija didn't think the idea was that good, but stowed it away in her mind, just in case. 

“Thanks, luv,” She said in her poshest English accent. 

“Nobody with that accent says luv,” Ylva told her, “It’s not an upper class Londoner thing.”

“Upper class London can suck my dick,” Maija mumbled, “And thanks. Love.” Apparently saying the word “love” in her regular voice was enough to tinge Ylva’s cheeks pink. That was cute. 

“Whatever,” She muttered, and brushed past Maija into their room. Ylva crashed on their bed, face down. 

“Tired?” Maija asked, and she nodded. 

“But the M-U-G-S are in my backpack.” 

“That word is too short for you to spell out like that.” Ylva only stuck out her tongue. 

“I’d fuck this bed if I could,” she mumbled, “So soft.” 

“Consider yourself kinkshamed,” Maija said, taking a seat beside her. She wound one hand into Ylva’s hair, combing it out with her fingers. Ylva had such pretty hair. It was already blond, but with a liberal application of dye, she was silver-haired. Except for the side of her head that was shaved, where little golden tufts reigned supreme. 

“There are worse kinks to shame, but alright,” Ylva said, “But I don't need to tell you about that.” Maija choked on her breath, heat rising to her cheeks. 

“I- What?! What are you trying to say?” Ylva tilted her head to the side. Somehow she was both exhausted and playful, and the combination was not doing great things for Maija’s heart. 

“Oh, nothing,” Ylva teased, kicking one leg in the air. “I just know you, is all.” Maija withdrew her hand and gave Ylva a light shove, only for Ylva to drag it back. 

“No, just…Just stay here,” She mumbled, so Maija did, though not without workshopping her material until Ylva was no longer in the mood to fuck the bed. Although she could feel Ylva getting annoyed, at least she was laughing.

December 21, 20XX

Tuli scanned the room once again, wondering if she had gone to the right place. Maija’s shows were always at the same comedy club, but what if things were different this time? What if she made a mistake by ordering a cocktail? If this was the wrong place, it was probably too late to make it to the actual one. Would Maija be mad if she missed the show? Probably not, right? Yeah, it was just a simple misunderstanding. She checked her phone again, and it sure looked like she was in the right place, but what if-

“Tuli,” A voice said from behind, and when she glanced up, she was relieved to see Astrid behind her. 

“Oh, Astrid! Sorry, I didn't see you come in.” She stood up, and pulled a chair away from the table for her wife. Astrid flashed her a tiny smile, and sat down, though she scooted herself in. 

“There’s nothin’ to be sorry for,” Astrid said, her voice rolling over Tuli in a calming wave. 

“Yeah. Anyway, do you want something to drink?” Astrid shook her head, causing her long hair to shimmer in the low light. One of her jobs was modelling, and for her most recent shoot, pink hair had been in order. Where her hair was usually a pale golden shade, it was now a faded bubblegum color at the ends, and Tuli loved it. She had suggested dying all of it pink, but apparently that was more than Astrid was willing to do. It was a bit of a commitment for someone with hair as long as her’s. Still, her wife looked cute enough with pink hair that Tuli was considering dying her own blond locks. 

“Not two nights in a row.” The previous night, Astrid had attended a Christmas party for work, and had more to drink than was wise. 

“You’re such a grandma,” Tuli teased, running one foot up Astrid’s leg under the table. Astrid’s slight shiver made her smile, though she tried to hide it by taking a long sip of her drink. 

“Hey,” Another voice said from her other side, breaking the soft air between the two women. Ylva had arrived, it seemed, decked out in leather and fishnets, with only the most extreme eye makeup on. 

“Hey, how are you?” Tuli greeted her with a warm smile, though Ylva did not return it. 

“I’m alright. Don’t really want to see Maija embarrass herself again, but it seems to be her passion.” 

“Oh, don’t say that!” Tuli gasped, “She’s not that bad!” 

“She’s not that good either,” Astrid mumbled, leaning forward to rest her chin on her hand. 

“You guys are so mean!” Tuli said, mocking offense. In her heart, she knew Maija wasn’t particularly good at delivering a joke, but she didn’t want to be rude about it in a space where Maija could hear. 

“I’m allowed to be mean to her, she’s my girlfriend,” Ylva said, and kicked her legs up on the table. Tuli rolled her eyes, letting the meanness thing slide. 

“You should be wearing pants right now,” She said, “You’ll freeze!” Though she wore knee high boots, fishnets and red denim shorts couldn’t protect her from the cold. 

“I drove here, it’s fine. Relax, mom,” Ylva said. 

“Okay, but if you get too cold-”

“It’s a great time for you to get preachy,” Astrid mumbled. Tuli blushed, though she wasn’t wrong. Her dress was better suited for the warmer seasons. 

“I have a flannel in my purse,” She mumbled. 

“That’s gay,” Ylva deadpanned, scrolling through her phone. Tuli rolled her eyes. At least one of them had the sense to dress for the weather. Astrid had on knee high boots that looked like they belonged to a high fantasy video game, olive green jeans tucked into her boots, and a gray sweater dress that hugged her narrow frame. She was lovely, or at least Tuli thought so. 

For the next couple minutes, the three sat in relatively comfortable silence. Tuli had to wonder how Ylva was comfortable sitting with her knees in her chest, but she let it go. Astrid pulled her laptop out of her backpack and got started on some of her homework. Tuli had always liked the idea of grad school, but after seeing the toll it took on her roommates, she began to second guess it. Astrid would be paying off her student loans for the rest of time, and Maija would be saddled in debt after the heat death of the universe. At least the loans made for good comedy on occasion. 

By the time the lights dimmed and the first comedian took to the stage, Tuli had grown bored, and was watching Astrid work over her shoulder. She was working on her thesis. It wasn't due until May, but she’d already started over from scratch twice since she started. When the lights went down, Astrid paused her typing, then lowered the brightness and started typing. She worked all through the first comedian’s set. He had some funny things to say, and some things that were more offensive than humorous. Overall, Tuli was more invested in her drink and checking over her shoulder to see if Runa was there yet. 

When Maija came on, as the third act of the night, Astrid moved her laptop away from herself on the table, paying more attention. While Ylva didn’t set her phone down, she did look up from it. 

“Has she already done this set in public?” Astrid asked, and Ylva shook her head. 

“No, it’s fresh. She calls it a Christmas special. Must be why there’s so many stupid Santa jokes.” 

“I like the Santa jokes,” Tuli said, though she wasn't really paying attention to Maija. She was listening, but tracing circles in the condensation on her glass. 

“She might just be bombing,” Ylva said, a slight upturn in her lips. “You suck!” She shouted, interrupting the show. Maija paused, the smile dropping from her face as she looked out at the crowd. Her eyes were wide for a minute, then when she noticed Ylva, a smile crossed her face. 

“Says the emo in the corner. Hey, did anyone tell you it’s not 2006 anymore? My condolences, but My Chemical Romance is dead.” That brought on a couple laughs, and Maija launched into a whole spiel about Hot Topic, all while staring straight at Ylva. Tuli shook her head- The whole thing was ridiculous. How Maija was funnier when she was improvising, how she needed Ylva’s help to do that. But Ylva didn't seem to mind, as she hugged herself and grinned up at the stage, saying nothing as her girlfriend dragged her through the mud. Not long after Maija began to deviate from the emo jokes, someone stomped over to their table and plopped down in an empty seat, then buried her shaved head in her arms. Ylva’s attention was immediately diverted from the stage, and onto the girl next to her. 

“Runa?” She whispered, and laid her hand on the girl’s arm. The girl looked up, and holy shit, it was Runa. Tuli tried not to eavesdrop when they began speaking in hushed whispers, but couldn’t help but overhear a couple things. Failure, mother, homeless? And also college, driver’s license, weed. All that set her heart racing, but she tried to pay attention to Maija anyhow. Astrid, who was also peering over at Runa, took her hand, and gave a comforting squeeze. 

When her set was over, Maija gave a dramatic bow and tipped her hat, then scurried off the stage. She returned a moment later to put the microphone back on it’s stand, which got a couple laughs. Tuli wondered if that had been on purpose. Shortly after, Maija made her way over to the table. She spun around the last empty chair and sat down, crossing her arms over the back. 

“Hey guys,” She said, a little breathless, “How’d I do?” 

“No better or worse than usual, I think,” Astrid said, pushing her glasses further up her nose. 

“You were fine,” Ylva said, reaching across the table to pat her arm. The table was too wide, though, and her arms were too short, so she only managed to swipe at the air. 

“Thanks,” Maija said, “Hey, Runa, glad you could make it.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Runa said, her voice tiny. She had her arms crossed, and seemed to shrink in on herself a little. “You were cool.” 

“Cool.” Maija smiled, “How’re you doing? Haven’t seen you in a while. And you cut your hair!” Runa shrugged, one hand coming up to her head, almost as if to tuck some hair behind her ear before she realized it was no longer there. 

“Yeah, I guess I wanted a new look.” 

“Well I like it,” Maija said, “It’s cool.” 

“It’s a little messy,” Ylva said. 

“Someone else is on stage, guys,” Astrid piped up, gesturing forward. All five of them looked up, dumb expressions on their face. They were, in fact, talking over someone’s set. 

“Shit,” Maija said, not lowering her voice at all, “Do you guys wanna get out of here?” 

“Can we?” Runa asked, looking hopeful. 

“But we just got here,” Tuli complained, “Wouldn’t it be rude to-”

“Well, as we have just noticed, we are talking over someone’s set, so I think we should have this conversation in the lobby,” Ylva said, and that was something they could all agree on, so the group packed up their things and left the main area of the comedy club. 

“Sorry to make you guys leave,” Runa mumbled, balling her fists in the ends of her sleeves. 

“It’s okay,” Ylva said, “I can drive you home if you want.” 

“I don't want to go back to mom’s house,” Runa said. 

“Well, you’re always welcome at our apartment,” Maija said, playing with a piece of hair that had fallen into her face. “Can I ask who cut your hair? It’s so cute, and-”

“I did,” Runa said, “Thanks.” Though Maija was entertaining her with discussions of her hair, Tuli couldn't help but worry. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, and began typing out a message to Astrid. Do you think she’s ok? Astrid glanced down at her upon checking her phone. Idk. No way for me to know. She paused for a moment, then began typing again. Also, I watched you type that. Tuli shifted so she could get a better look at Astrid, and sent her a goofy expression. She was rewarded with a smug smile and a hand on her shoulder. Tuli shifted closer to her, until they were almost touching, with the hope that Astrid might put an arm around her shoulder, but to no avail. That was what she got for not asking, but it didn't seem appropriate with Ylva and Maija vying for Runa’s attention. 

“I’ll talk to her later, okay?” Runa said, “I just need a place to stay for Christmas, and after that I’ll be out of your business forever.” 

“I never said I wanted you out of my business forever,” Ylva said, her voice betraying some anger. 

“Okay,” Runa said, though the indication of her tone was that it was not, in fact, okay. 

“Okay,” Tuli butted in, “Runa needs a place to stay, and we have one, so that’s the problem solved. Let’s go home, I can make dinner, and-”

“‘S my turn,” Astrid said, “I’ll make dinner.” 

“Sure, whatever,” Ylva said, “Is that okay with you, Runa?” Her sister shrugged, but nodded, in the ultimate mixed message. 

“Dope! Alright, so you guys wanna go?” Maija said, gesturing to the door. As that was the general consensus, the group began to make their way out. Just as they were on their way out, a man came up to the group. 

“Hey, I saw your set,” He said, talking only to Maija. “Maija, right?” 

“Yep, that’s me!” She said, putting on a voice eerily similar to Tuli’s customer service voice. 

“Well, you’re really funny, and I was wondering if you might like to go out with me sometime.” Maija’s face went a deep red, and her fists clenched at her sides

“Um, thanks, but-”

“Have you ever heard of a straight woman with a rat tail?” Ylva asked, and threw her arm around Maija’s waist. 

“If you have, I’d actually like to meet her.” Neither of them noticed, but Runa seemed to wince, pulling her arms even tighter around herself. Her cheeks had gone red, but the door hadn't been open long enough for it to be attributed to the cold. 

“Oh, shit. Sorry, uh, you don't look gay.” 

“I’m-” Maija sputtered, “This is my girlfriend. But I’m sure you’re- You’re very sexy to some. Thanks- Thanks for coming to my show, bye!” Tuli felt bad for laughing, but Ylva clearly didn't. She cackled, in fact, as they filed out the door and away to their car. 

“But you should really get rid of the rat tail,” She told Maija, and Tuli couldn't agree more. 

“It’s a part of my look!” Maija whined, running a hand through her hair. Though she had employed copious amounts of gel to preserve a coiffed look, it was mostly falling apart by now. 

“Yer look is…You should change it,” Astrid said snidely. 

“What’s wrong with it?” Maija asked, walking backwards so she could face Astrid, although she kept one hand firmly in Ylva’s. 

“The rat tail, f’r one. Yer hair’s a mess, clothes never match, and-”

“We can't all be models, Astrid.”

“She’s got a point,” Ylva said. 

“You’re all bullies!” Maija whined, turning back around. “I can't believe my own lover would betray me like this.” 

“I said what I said,” Ylva said, seeming unbothered, though she yelped when Maija attacked her with a side hug. 

“You guys are so loud!” Runa whined, hands now in her pockets. 

“It never ends,” Tuli warned, though her tone was jovial, “You’re lucky Ylva’s already graduated.” 

“Don’t remind me,” Astrid said, her cheeks paler than usual. Tuli chuckled softly at the memories- Ylva was probably the worst student out of the lot of them, and college had been a stressful time for her. Where Tuli wanted to rip out her hair sometimes, Ylva actually had. It was actually concerning how many times someone had found Ylva crying with fists full of blond hair. Not that college hadn't been stressful for all of them. Tuli was set to graduate in May, and her experiences had made her question grad school. 

Though she was only a year younger than Astrid, she was further behind in school, due to her gap years. They had known each other for a long time, and had been together since high school, but Tuli had never seen Astrid more stressed out than when she was applying to PhD programs. Stress remained simmering ever since, but Tuli wasn't sure if she was willing to put herself through that. She would probably be fine getting a job at a museum or something, given her major of theology. 

The group reached the car, only for Ylva and Maija to break out into an argument over who would drive home. Both claimed the car to be theirs, even though it was actually Astrid who paid for most of it. Ylva won out in the end, and she continued arguing with Maija the whole time. Runa seemed mortified by the whole ordeal, but Tuli didn't want to prod. Once they got home, Astrid fulfilled her promise of cooking dinner, and they enjoyed a round of extremely loud conversation, as was typical of their household, before Maija started drinking to celebrate her set. Though the air in the room was jovial, everyone was tired, and they somehow managed to get to bed before the time became ungodly.

December 22, 20XX

Saturdays. There should have been more stuff on Twitter, given that it was a Saturday. More people- Ylva, Maija, Tuli, Astrid- should have been out, given that it was a Saturday, but no. Weren’t you supposed to go out and party every night when it was a Saturday night? Four college kids sitting around the living room drinking wine and knitting and watching TV wasn't what Runa had expected when she crashed with Ylva. Weren't there places to go, things to do? 

Instead, she had a pillow under her chest and her phone clenched in her hand as she laid on the floor, watching the nth consecutive episode of Sense8. How was there so much of a show that only went on for two seasons? 

“So wait, is he actually there?” Maija asked. Ylva sighed, and paused the show to explain every detail of the situation. That was how, Runa thought. She turned her face into the floor, scraping her nose against the rug. Her neck thanked her for relieving it of the odd position she had been in previously. As Ylva prattled on about the ins and outs of Sense8, Runa brought a hand up to stroke her newly shorn head. She couldn't stop touching it- Although she sort of wanted to, it was getting greasy. Her hair had never been so short, and she didn't know what to think of it. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but she didn't know how to feel now that her hair didn't rest against her shoulders. 

But it didn't matter. Her hair didn't matter, right? All that mattered was that she got into Princeton. She was smart, and she was going to Princeton, and she had a place to stay until Christmas. What am I doing? Sleeping on her sister’s couch while avoiding her mom wasn't something to be proud of, but it was all she had. But a song she liked was part of the soundtrack, so she turned onto her side, and watched the show. Maija was right, it was really confusing, but at least the soundtrack was alright. 

Eventually, Runa redirected her attention to social media, blindly scrolling through various apps until there was nothing left to scroll through. Finally, she resorted to scrolling through her own Instagram page. She only had twenty posts, and eleven of them were of birds, with eight of those being pictures of her pet parakeet, named Puffin. Ylva teased her about it when they were kids, but it wasn't her fault puffins were the only bird she knew. Fortunately, since then, Runa had become more educated on the dopeness of birds. Scrolling through her own page didn't help, though. She was only reminded of how Puffin was dead. Maybe she could get another bird when she was at Princeton, if they let students have birds. 

“Runa?” The sound of her name caught her attention, and she jolted into a sitting position. Ylva stood at the end of the couch, staring down at her with a blank expression. 

“Where’s everyone else?” 

“Maija’s in the shower, and we’re out of toilet paper, so Tuli went to get some. Astrid’s right there.” Astrid was, indeed, right there. She sat cross legged in an armchair, brows furrowed as she worked on some knitting, though there was a half empty glass of wine next to her. As if on cue, Astrid looked up. 

“Hi, Runa,” She mumbled, and went back to her knitting. 

“Hey,” Runa said, “What’s up?”

“Can I talk to you in the other room?” Ylva asked, by which she meant her bedroom. Runa couldn't really say no, so she got up and followed Ylva to the bedroom. 

“Are you okay?” Ah, the age old question. Would she ever learn how to answer it in a way that didn't launch a whole discussion? Experts remain puzzled. 

“I guess,” Runa shrugged, “I had a fight with mom. But it was really stupid,” Runa mumbled, and it really was. Things hadn't been going her way lately was all. She was eighteen, and every day her mom dropped hints that she’d be kicked out soon. But apparently, being eighteen didn't mean she could smoke weed or hug a boy- Even though she wasn't sure she even liked boys. And then she got to learn that her best friend was moving to a whole different country, because apparently it was Oxford or bust for her mother, and she was leaving over break- Everything was so much. And, as any responsible adult could tell you, sex won’t solve any of your problems. So why did Runa think it would work? 

“I don't care how stupid it was. You’re my little sister, I care about you.” Runa couldn't help but cringe at that. 

“Half sister,” She reminded her.

“Half sisters are still sisters. What happened?” Ylva pressed, crossing her arms. She adopted a stern look, and even rose to her toes to appear more intimidating. 

“It’s really nothing-” 

“Bullshit, tell me the truth.” 

“I just- I did something stupid, and…Will you hate me?” Runa asked. It felt irrational, but what if her sister saw her as some sort of…traitor? She wasn't even sure what she was scared of. Why did Ylva’s approval even matter? Even if Ylva decided she hated her, Maija liked her enough to let her stay…Right? 

“I am legally not allowed to hate you,” Ylva said, and though it was meant to be a joke, Runa didn't feel comforted. The law was just a bunch of words, after all. 

“Well, um. Mom and I got in a fight. I did something, she didn’t like it. I guess I knew she’d be mad, but I didn't think she’d be that mad. I deserved it, but-” 

“Until I know what you did, it’s going to be hard for me to have an opinion,” Ylva said, finally coming down from her toes. Runa supposed she was right. It would probably be better to say something, but she didn't know how. Would it even be safe? Who knew. 

“I smoked a lot of weed…” 

“Everyone smokes weed.” 

“I, um. Please never repeat this,” Runa asked. Once again, her arms came up to hold her body. It was almost protective. Ylva nodded, and reached out to grab one of her hands. She refused to be okay with limply holding Runa’s hand between her own, and squeezed so hard that Runa had to squeeze back, as a form of revenge. 

“Um. My friend and I were smoking, you know, and…In the basement. And I sort of, um. I sort of did...” She paused, remembering. “You know.” Ylva’s eyes went wide, and she started nodding. That, coupled with what she’d just confessed to, had Runa’s cheeks burning.  

“Alright. Getting it, that’s cool.” 

“No it’s not!” Runa yelled. Absolutely none of it was cool. “Our friendship is over! Mom said she’d leave us alone, but then she came downstairs, and we were just- She wouldn't stop yelling, and I was- I was still on the floor, and, and-” She could feel tears welling up in her throat, but refused to acknowledge them. She wouldn’t cry. She hadn't cried when her mom was yelling, or during any argument since then. Or before it, for that matter. No, Runa Stelisdottir didn't cry. Except now she was, and Ylva was watching her. 

“I hate Mom.” Runa wiped her nose, because she couldn't cry over this. 

“Me too,” Ylva said, and it really ticked Runa off how calm she could stay about the whole thing. 

“You don't get it,” She said, though she despised sounding like a teenager.

“You don't understand! Your life is so perfect, with your girlfriend and your apartment-”

“My life isn't perfect just because I have a girlfriend and an apartment,” Ylva said, but Runa wasn't listening at that point. 

“Mom was always so nice to you, and- And you have so many friends! You don't get it, you can't get it, and mom’s not gonna let me come home, and I don't have anywhere to go, but you won't-” Runa hiccupped, and she couldn't. She started crying harder, sobs shaking her body. 

“Runa-” Ylva’s hand came down on her shoulder, and though her touch was gentle, it was even more unnerving. 

“Don't touch me!” She shook Ylva’s hand off her shoulder, and ran. Her hiding place seemed to be the laundry closet, where the washer and dryer hummed away in their neat little stack and color coded baskets- Blue, yellow, black, and red- almost filled the rest of the room. Runa sank to the floor, phone clenched in her hand. It wasn't her fault, she told herself. It was all her mom’s fault. If she didn't want her daughters to act out, she should’ve raised them not to.

Knowing that didn't stop her from crying, though, and cry she did. She was an embarrassment, having a temper tantrum like a little baby. But eventually, she cried herself to sleep. Uncomfortable, cramped sleep, with her neck resting at an unnatural angle against the dryer, but sleep nonetheless. 

She woke hours later to the faint hum of the dryer and the muffled sound of hushed voices. 

“I think she’s depressed,” said one woman. Ylva. 

“Really? That’s pretty bad.” Maija. 

“Yeah. I mean, she’s got parental issues out the ass and doesn’t even trust me when I’ve been more of a mom than our literal mother.” 

“Well, I mean, maybe that’s part of why? And it doesn’t automatically mean she’s depressed.” 

“She’s on her phone all day. And I know, I know I sound like a boomer, but that shit’s not good for you. She doesn't talk to anyone, and…you know, maybe you were right about her running away with a boy.” 

“I thought she was, you know…”

“I did too, but I guess not.” Runa choked at that, pressing her ear against the door. Was this a regular occurrence, that they just- just gossiped about her?

“Eh, it doesn't matter. I just hope she doesn't get into anything harder than weed.” 

“You know that thing about weed being a gateway drug is bullshit, right?” Maija said, “They just say that to scare kids out of doing drugs-”

“Is it really that bad of me to want her sober? I mean, I’m not, like, saying you should never do drugs, but-”

“No, it makes sense. It would really suck if she got arrested or something.” 

“Yeah,” Ylva murmured, and the conversation seemed to pause for a minute. “I just- Why wouldn't she tell me about the shit she clearly has going on?” Runa cringed at that, and she wanted to cover her ears, but there was something inside her that demanded she keep listening. 

“Well, you said yourself that she doesn't really trust you,” Maija said. Runa wanted to rip her hair out. No! That wasn't it at all- Did they really think that poorly of her? Of course she trusted Ylva! It was Ylva who didn’t trust her, and only played the sisters card when things were going badly. 

“She doesn't,” Ylva agreed, “And I sort of get it, ‘cause high school sucks, but since she doesn’t talk to me, I have to assume the worst.” Oh, come on. She talked to Ylva plenty. 

“Yeah,” Maija hummed, “Do you think-”

“Runa doesn't care what I think.” 

“I’m sure she does. But I’m not Runa.” 

“It would be pretty weird if you were,” Ylva said, then paused. “I’m glad you’re not.” At that point, Runa couldn't keep listening. Her hand came up to the doorknob, and she was about to open it when Maija spoke again. 

“Hey, it won't be that long before she’s out of your hair.” 

“Yeah.” Ylva sighed, and the tone she said it in made Runa shiver. Like she was a temporary form of entertainment, or an obstacle, or- “At least I’ve got you.” She burst out of the laundry closet to find Maija sitting on the counter, one arm around Ylva, both with mugs in hand. 

“Stop talking about me!” Runa shouted, and took a moment to relish in their surprise before she spun around and ran out of the apartment- A terrible idea, since she didn't really know the area. Her wallet and phone charger were in her backpack, which she had left behind. But she wasn't here to make good choices, apparently. No, she was there to anger her sister then leave all her shit behind after she had pissed off her mom. 

Runa made her way into the lobby of the building, ready to leave, but the snow falling from a pitch black sky made her pause. Maybe she could find some storage room to spend the night in. According to her phone, though, she'd already spent most of the night in Ylva’s laundry room. And it was technically Sunday, so most people probably wouldn't be up and about for a while. So Runa set about wandering the first floor of the building- Not that there was much to wander- until she came across a door labelled T. It housed a dumpster and a recycling bin, both of which were empty. Sure, Runa thought, I can stay here. Besides, she was tired, and what harm was there in sitting down for a couple minutes? So she did, hiding behind the dumpster. Eventually, she managed to fall asleep, although her new position was no more favorable to her neck than the last.

December 23, 20XX

There was a certain sort of silence that came the morning after a heavy snowfall. It was a silence that Astrid found very peaceful, when accompanied by the correct lighting. Unfortunately, this morning was not one of them, which made waking up a lot easier. Though it would be more fun to stay in bed all day, there were things to do. Okay, she was getting up…now. Now. Okay, hug Tuli a little tighter, then…Awake! She reached across Tuli, still asleep, and felt around the nightstand for her glasses. Once she grabbed them and shoved them up her nose, she pushed herself up into a sitting position. There, Astrid combed her fingers through her hair, contemplated braiding it, but ultimately decided she could do that later, and rolled out of bed. 

Upon emerging from the room she shared with Tuli, she spotted two things. One, the couch was empty, and two, her knitting basket was out of place. Instead of dealing with either of those things, though, she meandered over to the kitchen and pulled some mugs from the cabinet. She liked her own coffee black, so she didn't touch it before pouring her own mug, but for some reason, her roommates liked theirs with all sorts of flair. She left the remaining mugs on the counter and leaned against the sink. While she waited for her coffee to cool to a drinkable temperature, Astrid removed the filter from the coffee maker and tossed it in the garbage can. I should probably take out the trash, it’s getting kind of full. But then she’d have to put pants on…Eh, it would give her coffee time to cool off. 

Astrid returned to the room, threw on a hoodie and a pair of running shorts, and after a moment’s thought, grabbed her phone. She grabbed the trash, replaced the bag, and slid into their Community Crocs, which were generally used for getting the mail or taking out the trash when nobody felt like putting on actual shoes. She checked her phone, saw that Maija had sent her a series of deep fried memes, and clicked away from Instagram. Maija sending her memes at four am was the least of her worries when it came to online harassment- Yet it somehow managed to be the most annoying. Astrid did modelling work as one way of paying for her degree, and apparently the rainbow flag and diamond ring in her bio weren't enough to deter the advances of the general public. 

The elevator reached the first floor, and Astrid shuffled out, blinking in the bright lights of the lobby. With the trash bag slung over her shoulder, she felt like a woman on a mission- And she was, sort of, but in her head it was more along the lines of Stealth and Adventure. Maybe it could be, in her head. In an alternate world where spies take out the trash…

Or. In the regular world, where there might have been a dead body next to the dumpster. That was fun, and also the beginning of a cop show. Astrid dropped the bag in the dumpster, and kneeled down to get a better look- Or, in the regular world, where Runa was hopefully sleeping next to the dumpster. 

“Runa?” She asked, shaking the girl on the floor. “Runa, are ya okay? Alive?” After a moment, the girl became awake, yelping and leaping away. 

“Whatthefuckareyoudoing!?” She shrieked, then seemed to notice Astrid. “Oh. Uh. Hey, Astrid.” She made a move with her hand, as if to adjust her hair. Her cheeks only grew a deeper pink when she remembered she had none. 

“Hey, Runa,” Astrid echoed, “What the fuck ‘re you doin’?” 

“Oh, um.” Runa stared at the ground, her knuckles going white as she gripped her cell phone. 

“Are ya okay?” Astrid asked once again, adjusting her glasses. Runa shrugged. 

“I mean- I don't know.” She paused. “Can I tell you something?” Astrid nodded.

“Well, I, um. I kind of eavesdropped on my sister and Maija talking about me. Rudely.” 

“Maija’ll do that. Ylva too, but less,” Astrid said. She sat back, leaning against the wall. “D’ya wanna talk about it?” Runa shrugged, leaning back against the dumpster. 

“What even is there to say?” 

“Not talkin’ about it is horse shit,” Astrid said, “Stuff happens, usually not great.” 

“I think Ylva hates me,” Runa murmured. She ran a hand through her hair, and tipped her head back against the dumpster. “And our mom.” 

“Why?”

“Well, mom hates me because I like getting high, I like to drive, and because I, um. Will you judge me if I tell you about something I did?” Astrid shook her head. Not because she wasn't judgemental, but because she didn't really care. From the way Runa was talking, it was just regular problems that seemed so much bigger to her because she was young. And everyone had those sorts of problems, so who was Astrid to judge?

“Don't really care ‘bout your probl’ms. No offense, but I’ve got my own issues to worry ‘bout.” Runa nodded, seeming to understand, then launched into an explanation. 

“So, I have this friend, Li, and she’s pretty cool, but she’s moving away. To London. For college. ‘Cause of some weird custody battle that I don't really get. But then it’s like…She’s leaving me behind! And I’m- I don't- It’s weird, okay?” Runa spoke defensively, yet Astrid didn't know a single teenage girl named Li. Let alone one who was moving to London. “And we have this other friend, Noah. And his family’s also kind of weird, but that’s mostly his sister. Anyway, um. I don't know, there was this weird tension, and now Li’s gone, so I, um. Made out with Noah?” 

“Why?” 

“I don't know!” Runa said, “Why did I tell you that?” Astrid shrugged.

“Because 'm quiet, therefore ’m not a gossip, therefore ’m trustworthy?” Runa’s face scrunched up as she considered the possibility. 

“Huh. But then my mom walked in on us, and Noah left, and we had a fight. Then his sister said we weren't allowed to hang out anymore, and my mom took my driver’s license away. And then I shaved my head, and we had another fight, and…Well, then it was now.” 

“So ye’ve been busy,” Astrid said, “Sorry. ‘Bout your friends.” 

“Thanks, I guess,” Runa said. “I still don't get why I told you that?” Astrid shrugged. 

“Ye don't have to. But ye probably should tell yer sister.” 

“That would be humiliating,” Runa complained, hugging her knees. “She makes me feel dumb.” 

“Yer not dumb,” Astrid said. “Ya know, I’ve got some little nieces ‘round your age ya might like to be friends with.” 

“Oh, um. Cool?” Runa said, though her tone indicated she couldn't care less. Perhaps Astrid hadn't presented it the right way. Whatever. Her nieces were menaces to society anyhow. 

“D’ya want me to talk to Ylva for ya?” She suggested. Hopefully that didn't make her sound like a poser, or whatever. But Ylva was probably concerned, and she could probably help with whatever mommy issues had arisen, so. Yeah. And did it make Astrid a bad person if she was thinking through the psychology course she had to take as part of her teaching certification? No, this was something she’d have to deal with when she became an actual teacher. It was fine. 

“I guess,” Runa said, “Can I, um, can I come back to the apartment now? I’m cold.” As anyone would be, after spending the night on the floor of the trash room. Astrid hoped she’d be a better mother than Runa’s when and if she and Tuli decided to have kids. 

After a few more minutes, Astrid helped Runa off the floor. 

“You’re um, you’re really tall,” Runa commented, having to tilt her head back to make eye contact with Astrid. 

“Yes, I know,” Astrid said as they walked. Her feet slid around in the Community Crocs- somehow. How was it possible that they were too big for her? How did Ylva survive in these? “Yer kinda short.” 

“I’m not that small,” Runa bit out, and the conversation ended. Typical short person response. Though Astrid amused herself, the air between them remained tense on the elevator ride up. When they got to the apartment, Astrid unlocked the door and slid off the crocs. 

“Took the trash out,” She announced to the now heavily populated main room. Tuli sat on the floor, head in one hand, eyes shut, but perked up at hearing Astrid’s proclamation. A sleepy smile crossed her face and god, she was so cute. Warmth flooded Astrid’s chest, before she remembered the Runa she had in tow. “Also, Runa’s here.” She stepped aside, revealing Runa. Ylva, who sat on the counter, slammed her mug down. 

“Runa,” She said, voice neutral. “Hey.” 

“Ylva,” Runa said, shoving her hands in her pockets. She shuffled to the side, allowing Astrid to block her from view once again. 

“Hi, Runa!” Maija said, and took a sip of her coffee. “How are you?” 

“I’m ok,” Runa mumbled. Astrid made her way across the room to join Tuli on the floor next to the refrigerator- Her wife liked iced coffee year round, and when she could not buy iced coffee, she made iced coffee. The only drawback was how long she had to wait for the coffee to chill. Astrid kept telling her it was easier to pour warm coffee over ice, but Tuli wanted to do it her way, so Tuli got to do it her way. 

“Hi,” Astrid whispered, joining Tuli on the floor, trying to be quiet so as not to disturb the family drama going on around them. 

“Mornin’” Tuli yawned, “Thanks for taking the trash out.”

“No probl’m,” Astrid replied. Tuli hummed, and leaned her head back against the fridge. She didn't incite any further conversation, so it seemed they’d just be listening to Ylva and Runa attempt to talk to each other about their mother. Awesome. Well, more like really bad parenting and a control freak mother- Which, actually, explained a lot of Ylva’s personality. And life choices. And taste in music. And women. 

Though she did try to tune them out, Astrid was unable to ignore the pair forever. Mostly because Runa called on her to arbitrate the conversation, which was dreadfully boring, seeing as it turned out that not much had actually happened. Runa was acting rebellious, whatever that meant, and their mom didn't approve. Ylva sent her money, which Runa had allegedly spent on bus fare and food. She actually spent it on weed, until their mom took her license away for Bad Behavior, which was apparently the lying but mostly the Noah thing. Which was somehow related to the hair thing. If Astrid had to comment, which she didn't, Runa was just confused about a lot of things. Unfortunate, really. But! She was now staying with them until she had to go back to school, so that was cool. Maybe during that time she would become less confused- Although Tuli taking a coffee mug out of the freezer surely didn't help. 

“Why was your coffee in there?” Runa asked, pulling Tuli into the limelight. 

“Oh, I like iced coffee,” She said. She set her mug down on the counter, grabbed some milk from the fridge, and then honey from another cabinet. A generous amount of both went into her mug. 

“But it’s winter,” Runa said, dumbfounded. Tuli only chuckled. 

“Yeah, but I still like iced coffee. It just tastes better,” She said, taking a sip. 

“It’s a seasonal beverage,” Maija butted in. She managed to stay silent while Runa and Ylva talked about what had happened, but it seemed that was over now. 

“How is iced coffee a seasonal beverage?” Ylva asked, “It’s literally just coffee with ice in it.” 

“It’s got summer vibes,” Maija explained, “Like how you wouldn't get, like, a peppermint latte in July.” 

“I could if I wanted to,” Ylva snapped back, “If I liked peppermint.” 

“Okay, but you not liking peppermint doesn't mean it’s not a Christmas drink,” Maija said, “I think you just lack fun.” 

“Here’s the thing, though,” Ylva said, tapping Maija’s chest with every word.

“Peppermint exists all year round, so it’s not a goddamn seasonal drink.” 

“Yes it is!” Maija shouted, “They only have it in the winter, how is that not seasonal!” 

“You can ask Starbucks to make you a peppermint latte in the summer, it’s just not advertised as much.” Astrid, along with Maija, and at least Runa, rolled her eyes. If there was one thing the inhabitants of their apartment were good at, it was pointless arguments. Most of them broke out between Ylva and Maija- Hopefully Runa didn't take the wrong message from that. 

“Welcome to our apartment,” Tuli said, almost drily, then turned her attention to Astrid. “I’m gonna go get ready, alright?” Astrid nodded, and gave her shoulder a squeeze. She’d probably wander back to their room soon enough- She had so much work to do, it wasn't even funny. But for now, the greatest entertainment in town was watching Ylva scream at her girlfriend about the seasonality of peppermint lattes. 

“Are they- Are they always like this?” Runa asked, once again clutching her phone to her chest. 

“Ye get used to it,” Astrid confirmed, “Nd, for what t’s worth, your sister ‘sn’t that bad.” 

“I know,” Runa sighed, “Thanks.” Astrid flashed her a slight grin. 

“Not a probl’m.” After all, who would she be if she didn’t look out for her friends?