#Like I promised

[cerealforkart]

Dungeons and Daddies | Episode 17: OSHA’s Eleven

Hey look! Dungeons and Daddies the anime put the Normal flashback the manga adaptation cut back in!

(requested on the discord, I'm working on a tumblr request next!)

[xzcopycat]

Lil meme compilation for the one and only @discopierrot

[germworms]

"Half-a-Life"

Two short panels of an idea, half-a-life, the ethubs short story. Continued?

[buglyknight]

1234) Are you going to disappear?

He spins his index finger

In circles around his temple

I know before he says it

I want to get Loco tonight

So we

Shotgun a four loco

I've only done this once before

I accidentally splash it all over myself

You're going to die one day

You're getting old and you're going to die

Drink this

I'm laughing

At every bit

EJ can't stand the taste

I forgot the reaction my body has

Why did he pick the worst flavor?

He lies in the grass for a while

Gagging as he tries to drink it all

Long after I've finished mine

He picks the grass out of his hair

This goes to show your tolerance is

Unnaturally high

I come in here shit faced and you're

Like a regular person

Listen, I don't know why that's the case

Why do you think I stuck with

Hundred proof so long?

I walk out and he's still laying in the grass

I collapse - laughing

We talk about food so I

Cook them burgers

Wait - they have bogo on a pound of blue crab?

Guys, I don't want to pay for seafood

Crabs are garbage

I stand on my tippy toes

Making eye contact with EJ

Over the top of the freezer door

Jacob, you're going to die one day

If we get crab, you're going to eat some

I'm going to die one day?

Yes.

Alright, then, I'll snack on some crab

Just incase-

You want to say anything else

I keep my phone off silent

Just incase you

Want to call or

Say anything else

I keep it on standby

I'm going to try to get shredded

In the meantime

But - like, I'll always be here

Literally, always, promise

So - whatever.

That's two for flinching

(Either one of them could kick my ass)

You know, I taught Jake how to

Throw a punch two years ago

He's like my son

Throwing 900's at Arcade Monsters

Yeah now I'm coming to take the title

Catch these hands and that's

Four now, for flinching

You're racking up the debt

Make that six

I'll take you both at the same time

That's eight, text your girlfriend you're

Going home in a body bag

(Nobody ever flinches, and it only makes it funnier)

Hand me the bong

No, you hand me the bong

My arms are so short

As soon as I get up to

Hand one of these babies the bong

All the way across the room

Alex decides to pick it up

To ensure I wasted my efforts to help them

I double over laughing

EJ dabs me up as we get ready to

Take a shot

He always holds onto it for too long

Afraid of the hundred proof

Going down unsteady

After we high five

I turn around and

Alex has already downed mine

I'm laughing so hard I collapse

My neck ticks-

Would you please share this laughter with me?

They want to smoke cigarettes

We take the pack out and

Drag one down

Only five left before

I'm done with them

I'll wait for the next time they

Want to smoke

Between UFC fights

Me and EJ are being high energy

Alex has that look in his face that's

Perfectly somewhere between

Disappointed father and

Worried

My knees scrape the carpet as

I gasp for breath

You tryna get pieced up?

Don't you weigh like 60 pounds?

Yeah, it'll be embarrassing when I take you down

I offer my comforter to EJ but he

Denies it and then

Keeps mentioning how comfortable I look

Yeah, this is pretty nice!

Do you want it?

No, it's like.. yours

This guy is fucking ridiculous

I'm so comfortable but

I keep thinking I wish you were

By my side

Sharing a laugh with me or

Holding my hand

Alex takes a hit and

EJ is pestering him while he does it

So he blows the smoke in his face

What are you laughing at?

I answer,

I just love my friends.

My neck tics

Would you share a laugh with me?

They're falling asleep before the main card

I don't even watch UFC

I look at EJ and he's

Side-eyeing me ensuring I don't

Catch him slipping again

Jake, when you get your own place next month

Are we going to ever see you, again?

Are you going to disappear?

I don't know

I do have the biggest table around here.

I drive EJ home

He's shivering immediately

Don't worry bud, I'm going to warm you up!

I blast the heater and

Drop him off

Get back home and

Put back the Roach

He was just hanging out in the background, anyway

[mslangermann-a]

VERSE ; DELL’INFERNO (AKA OF HELL)  

this time, lynn does not escape on her own. this time, she awakens to the soft whimper of a child in the arms of her husband (gone, lost). this time, the child is carried in the crook of her arm, out of that place, away from the nightmare. tests, exams, assessments all deem the child to be natural - living and healthy. the images on the screen warp and twitch as the doctor conducts their test. the lights flicker above. shadows dance across the walls, but only for a moment. a trick of the eye. HER TRUE FACE. lynn’s own horrors have to be grappled with, alongside raising the child that never could’ve been his. blake’s. it couldn’t. it’d been months. how was this possible?

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[taffywabbit]

they should invent a new type of "staying in bed for 2-3 hours after you wake up repeatedly opening and closing apps on your phone" where it makes you feel awesome and energized and emotionally fulfilled

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

[whiterabbitloveposting]

For those wondering - Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #338 (Hobgoblin sprays Spider-man with poison) and #339 (Doc Ock reveals the poison only becomes lethal when combined with cocaine).

[pbnmj]

had this almost exact exchange with a kid in my homeroom today and was so enamoured by the fact that a student was ready to dunk on spider-man like he existed in real like that i inflicted it onto pete

[creekfiend]

what's my biggest pet peeve well it's when someone makes a text post on tumblr dot com in which they are trying to romanticize the notion of the livestock guardian dog but they don't know the distinction between a livestock guardian dog and a herding dog and also they've never met a livestock guardian dog and do not realize what their attitudes towards the sheep that they protect actually are

[kotse]

@hg-aneh your honor they’re silly

edit: i am NOT aneh!! i love and have borrowed their character designs, no affiliation!!

[chloesimaginationthings]

RIP Michael Afton.. you would of loved FLAF

[boochanz]

hey let's have this conversation again since the like/reblog ratio is getting SOOOO much worse. if you like content, reblog it. the people who follow you cannot see when you've liked a post, unless your likes are visible and they are routinely going through them, which i assure you they are not. by reblogging content, you are making it visible to other accounts. fanart, gifs, edits, etc. may be fun to make but they are very time consuming and it is much appreciated that if you enjoy them, you take the brief moment to reblog them to show that appreciation - and it helps. as fun as they may be, it is often kind of discouraging for posts to not do well because for every one person that reblogged it, five left a like and kept it pushing

[batcavescolony]

*Talia visiting Damian*

Talia: Damian, how are you? *glares at Dick*

Damian: I am doing well mother

Dick: *from behind him* *mouthing: why the fuck are you here?*

Talia: oh that's great! I see you have a new pet? *Mouthing back: to see MY son*

Damian: this is Haley, Grayson's dog, she's staying with me while he goes on a mission.

Dick: *flipping Talia off where Damian can't see* yep, he's so good with animals

Talia: I'm aware *throws a knife at him*

Dick: *throws it back*