#Like I literally cannot think of any piece of media that was more formative to me

[trafficblrpositivityproject]

The queue is empty right now! After several hundred asks, I am all out! (✨0✨)

I would like to send out a thank you from me to all of you. Thank you all for helping me out with this project and uplifting other members of the fan base. Thank you for sharing this blog’s introductory post and helping me on my mission. Thanks to everyone who has sent in asks about me and this project. This blog literally cannot function without the help and love from all of you, so I thank you for helping me keep it running so far!

This project will continue for as long as you are willing to send in asks to it! If you have been thinking of submitting an ask, now is the time!

If you want some ideas, here are things you can send asks about.

• Your favorite artists and writers, of course! You are all very good at this so far. If you want to specifically highlight certain pieces or art or writing, go ahead! I will not take links or imbedded images—I do not want to be reposting or accidentally open the door for people to send me spam links—but if you want to describe them, that would be fine.

• Creators of less “popular” types of media like cosplay, songs, collages and web weaves, textiles, and anything else I’m missing! These art forms do not always get as much attention, so all the more reason to send them love!

• Your favorite theorists and analysts! Share about your favorite theories as well, and why you like them!

• Your friends! “My friend [URL] is really cool” is a very good ask! Not everyone submitted here needs to be a creator, or be here because they’re a creator. I do not want people to think that this blog is just for people who are “famous,” anyone can submit asks about anyone for any reason.

• Similar, people who have supported you. Friends who brought you into the series, people who regularly leave nice tags and engage with your work. Send some love back to the people who have been cheering you on!

• Events and zines! The fandom could not survive without the work of event weeks/months and zines. And I definitely do not mind being free advertising for the events and zines you all are in ;)

• Former members of the fandom who are no longer active or have moved fandoms. If they used to enjoy life series and have since moved on, they still count.

And I will remind you I am perfectly happy to take submissions on people with a degree or two of separation from trafficblr. Hermitblr and Empiresblr accounts, or bloggers posting about other overlapping SMPs and series like POW and MCC. Or participants in fan made Life Series. As long as there is some sort of overlap, I will not be fact checking.

Repeating the same person who has already been submitted is also fine. If you wanted to send me the same person every single day for a month I would not stop you. Just keep your ask positive and include fewer than 5 people, and we are golden.

All I want is to make this fandom a little more positive. I thank you all again so much for helping me so far, and if this is as far as I go, I will feel very satisfied with how we have done.

Thank you again, everyone, from the ferryman! <3

[drawbudd]

one last lil sneak peek before I doze off for the night

hate to see you go

[agatharkn3ss]

I'll see you at the end.

I can't believe we are here already. I'm excited and sad in equal measure.

This show has been such a delightful surprise. I went into it without expecting anything in particular - I loved Wandavision and I loved Kathryn Hahn and that was that. I didn't expect to be literally bewitched by the magic I saw on the screen.

Put simply, the power of AAA is that it is clearly a product of love - from Jac Schaeffer, the actors, the writers, the directors, the set and costume designers, the composers (and THE GODDAMN LOPEZES!), the producers... I could go on.

That level of dedication shines despite (or maybe BECAUSE) the low budget, and it has two massive effects: 1) it creates a truly compelling and stunning story; 2) it sends a very loud, clear message that representation not only matters, but is NEEDED.

Of course it's not the first show that does this, but I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to me to watch something in mainstream media that is centred around sapphic women where their sexuality is NOT the plot of a show. It is not something anyone ever needs to ask about or question. They don't pretend to be younger characters either, they are all 38+ and proud of it, as they should. Instead they focus on what actually matters - their rich, complex stories.

But the diversity is also within the creators - of the producers, half of them were women, headed by superb Mary Livanos (a queer woman herself), costume designer Daniel Selon (also queer), all of the directors were women and there is also of course a diversity of ethnicities. I am a big believer of the power of diversity as it allows you to go places you wouldn't normally consider, and really round the story. And I love this quote from Jac Schaeffer who states "My prerequisites for writers who work with me are first, they have to be kind, respectful humans."

And what stories the writers tell! In the limited time they had, they managed to create these seven multidimensional characters that were all different, yet similar in a lot of ways. My only criticism would be that we really could do with longer episodes to actually allow some more meaningful conversations and connections. All beautifully complemented by the visuals - the practical sets as well as the costumes. I love how the costume designer took his time to consult with the actors for their interpretations, before even starting to create every single design.

And on top of the great character stories and visual , we then have an engaging plot with mysteries to solve on the way. I cannot emphasise enough how fantastic it felt to follow the breadcrumbs. To spot all those little details that would foreshadow what's to come. The different ways they appeared - through dialogue, visual clues, music themes, lore symbolism and so so many art and literature references. The knowledge and confidence that they were left there on purpose too, because the creators took the show seriously - it literally felt like finding little personal messages!

This is why I've decided I need to pick them up and then try to piece them all together - just to see if I could make my sense of it, since the creators clearly put so much love and effort. No other show has ever made me do it to this extent. And it's been so much fun! I loved I wasn't alone with this and that I could discuss and read others' theories too. It's like we've formed this awesome coven.

So in my post-AAA blues, I don't think I will have it in me to just take my "murder board" down. I feel there is still so much to explore so I will probably keep looking for any more cool details to cheer me up.

I've not been actually particularly precious about whether or not my theories could be right or wrong. If some of them are - great, bonus! If not, also great, I am looking forward to being surprised!

Although we haven't seen the ending yet, I have ultimate trust in Jac. After all, she once said:

"I believe so strongly in sticking the landing and it's always up to the audience whether or not you truly stick the landing. But I believe that you have to put all your energy toward that. It's your job to try the best you absolutely can to stick the landing. You have to plot your mysteries, figure out what they are. It’s like a good murder mystery. The feeling that you want at the end of a murder mystery is you want to be surprised, but not. It still needs to feel within the realm of possibility, right? It needs to make sense and still surprise you." 

So I trust we will have a solid ending, wherever it lands. And afterwards - I will always remember the time when a show has made me feel this way. Thank you!

[gomzdrawfr]

want to join the fandom cause it seems fun seeing fanarts and you and others interacting but I don't know how...and with the whole ai thing im scared...

my advice: just do it

really! sometimes all you really need is a leap of faith, and that was exactly how I dropped into the cod fandom. When I joined the ghoap discord server I talked to one of the artist I really like and respected from my lurking time (hi @bressynonym) aaaand the rest is history

I didnt know how to draw properly, nor digitally, all I did was scribbling on OneNote (yeah!) and rambled about cod characters, it is daunting and it is scary to interact but after a while? you may just be able to find someone to brainrot together with

start small, like commenting, reblogging, talking, chatting- doesn't have to be towards artist/writers, it could be the art/fic enjoyers!

you need to put yourself out there if you want something

as to if you want to start in the fandom as a creator, here's some more tips (which are all based on my experience, I am no pro at doing this, hell Im still learning myself, and I am by no means speaking these on behalf on others!)

establish a goal: what are you making? fandom based? original creations?

as with starting new, everything may take a while for stuff to happen, you'll feel like you're speaking to the void at times (esp with original arts, but do know that your stuff do get perceive by others as time goes, I would advise to draw fandom stuff as a beginning to get that boost going if you want! or else it's going to be quite hard to get things rolling)

imo this is hardest part of any new creator, you'll have to bear with it and try not to give up (but I understand how incredibly demotivating it could get, there were times when I stopped posting about Raven entirely, but eventually I post it anyway cuz surely someone out there will like them, it just takes a lot of patiences and perseverance)

btw, engagement can also vary from time to time, you may be booming for a bit, then suddenly you dont, it is a cycle that will bound to happen

take rest regularly, and I mean a break from social media because numbers, discourse and everything can get to you, very quickly (I cannot emphasise this enough)

the numbers are not worth it over your mental health (comes with practice to really solidify this thought)

study the algorithm (pain): see what other creators are doing to get where they are, what tags are they using in their post? what features/niche do people like?(this is, if you really want to grab some form of engagement, bcuz reminder in the end you are creating art for yourself first!)

example: I think posts would get more reach if you tag it with the ship name first, followed by the characters' name (doesn't work all the time tho)

that's the thing about algorithm, it is ever-changing, and you'll have to learn to adapt with it when it does!

expanding on that, studying algorithm could be about ships (for example, ghostsoap is most popular in the fandom), or really good rendered art/flashed out fic that leaves your jaw on the floor, or ships that gets lesser attention in general which puts you, who make content about them, easier to be brought into the light (like Faralex)

bUT, it can also be personality!

(again, not saying this is meant for everyone and strictly from my own experience + what I observe) for me, I made up the lack of my art by establishing a personality: a wild panda who yaps about price and their oc and also kinda everywhere in the place (just like this post LOL), OR you're the person who named themselves after Soap's ash particle number OR you're the one who likes bottom Ghost- literally anything goes, you want to make an impression in different ways, some more funny/goofier than others but it works (be mindful and stay respectful tho, dont wanna be the asshole in the fandom now do ya?)

efforts ≠ engagement (not all the time, but most time) and this is a fact. Sometimes, you can't expect a piece you did for 10+ hours to get thousands views and likes, especially in a fandom space. You need to understand algorithm is that wonky. (very disheartening, but again, you make the art for you and the few others who genuinely likes them, and those people can go a long way) be mentally prepared for such events, and try not to beat yourself up too much for it

ultimately tho, do it, do it scared but do it anyways and again, draw the things that bring you joy, I hope these could be helpful in some ways!

[hueningsloverr]

౨ৎ txt as musicals !

pairing: ot5 txt x musicals summary: god. idek where to begin. txt as musicals. word count : 0.6k im actually so sorry i even wrote this wow what was i thinking. if you dont know these songs LISTEN TO THEM.

yeonjun : heathers / mean girls there is also a tiny dash of moulin rouge in him

it boy energy is so reflected throughout BOTH

i’m sorry

definitely a candy store guy

he 100% cracks corny jokes like in stupid w/ love

but the amazing theatricality???

the vocals????

SO yeonjun

and ikik abt the soobin meangirl meme but like

lets be real

jjunie just has that energy

and not in a bad way

like in a 'yeonjun told me to dye my hair purple so i did!' way

and when i say heathers i don't mean the negatives

like that musical is fucked up

i mean the level of iconic-ness (?)

sassy man apocalypse fr

"i like looking hot buying stuff they cannot :3" - yeonjun (definitely)

soobin : six

...

i'm actually so sorry for this one!

he competes with himself, that much is obvious

soobin seems like the type to really question if he deserves something - if his suffering was enough

he's the type to compare past suffering to current

like 'well i suffered back then and i turned out fine, i'm not any more important for suffering now' type of stuff

he's the leader, its his job to be the strongest

and he lets himself have some fun

(i mean his first [?] scandal was him showing his middle toe.)

or he could be super serious like the great leader we all know he is

or he's just a total mess, but yet still so strong ??

hes admirable

he's in the history books fr

beomgyu : hamilton

the perfect balance of chaos and serious

i mean he's literally "lock up your daughters and horses!"

while also being "mom i'm so sorry for forgetting what you taught me"

beomgyu was written by lin manuel miranda argue with a wall

its also just so interesting, like gyu

like you could study both hamilton and gyu

a fan favourite

you can't go wrong with hamilton

and you can't go wrong with gyu

hamilton has its… fans

and gyu has his bamtoris

both would doxx you if you speak ill of their favs

the gateway into the community

like gyu was the first member i found out about

and hamilton was the first musical i liked

you dip your toes in, and next thing you know you just spent $25 for some merch

taehyun : hadestown

it’s so sad

yet serene and passionate like tyun

i mean, just look at him

those eyes - that smile!!

boba eyes :3

also, he so was a greek mythology kid

probably bought every percy jackson book / related piece of media when it came out

he knows everything

theres just something so tyun about it all

hadestown is a musical you might not know about

but the second you do you're like "wow wtf i was missing out on literally everything good in this world"

and that's literally tyun too

like if you somehow don't know about vocal king taehyun

the moment you find him obsession forms

or at least in my case

my little tyun🤧

i could see him staring in the mirror going "who are you? who do you think you are"

hueningkai : be more chill (bmc)

you can not tell me this boy didn't have some sort of issue making friends

the photos of him sitting alone at lunch (?) pre-debut???

hes so jeremy heere

because he's really just a sweetie

but no one notices him besides his very close friends

definitely would almost accidentally take over the state of new jersey

type of boy to go all the way if he likes a person

im talking joining the same clubs as them

and even joining the friend group they're in

all of it

we all know he used to think so poorly of himself and talk down on himself

like he had those voices in his head

has his michael in the bathroom moments

thinks he's a loner, a loser, a freak

you know the usual high school insults

but he's able to grow confident, with some help

i luv hueningkai ;3

and i luv be more chill

authors note : i lied this is not based off of making the bed. my bad. whoops. maybe next time!

©2024 — all rights reserved to hueningsloverr , please do not plagiarise or translate any of my work

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 16

... is Derek really an incel? like, at the very least, shouldn't him being with Kristal prove that he isn't an incel? i have no qualms with Emily insulting Derek, but she should at least be accurate.

ooh, Emily going full villain mode? we stan :D

girl how would you possibly think this would work

so Ally has resorted to playing a fully emotional game, huh? you either get eliminated a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the Jake.

the music in this scene cracked me up. also, i think aleriya is (canonically) dead after this scene, if it hadn't already died beforehand. (i say canonically bc fans can do whatever they want)

d-does he still...? also, obligatory "just because Connor loves Riya doesn't mean she has any obligation to love him back, villain or not."

i really can't tell if this part of Ally's character arc is meant to be viewed as good or bad. like, the show is obviously telling us that Ally's overall trajectory is bad, and being needlessly cruel to other people for the sake of putting your own emotional wellbeing first could certainly be a part of that. but, there's also been a lot of commentary about how hard it is to be under the scrutiny of social media (likely from the crew's own experiences), so Ally learning to stand up for herself and what she needs could also be a form of wish fulfillment. hopefully it'll resolve as a multi-layered predicament in the end, but i'm just trying to figure out how Ally will respond to her edit in All Stars in either the finale or the Loser's Motel episode.

...can't you just wait, like, two more episodes to directly state the point of your character arc, essentially then concluding it? then i could be sure that you'd win.

HELP

lmao of course the nerd can't rock climb. he can carry 120 pounds on his back but he cannot ascend.

Connor is really fucking strong goddamn?

Ally really can't fight this, because this is the exact rationale that she was trying to use on Jake for their entire games.

i want to see people draw buff Grett in the style of the buff Natsuki meme from DDLC. but, also, go Grett!!!

the intense difficulty of a twelve piece jigsaw puzzle. Venus noted that it really sounded like Kristal was describing a slide puzzle, but I understand why that would've been really difficult to storyboard.

Connor you can't be this stupid (/j)

in-universe, i don't really understand how she beat Alec (he was really good at the block puzzle in s1 and it fits his vibes), but yay Grett! i knew she wasn't going home tonight anyway.

what else could it have possibly been, Ally? regardless, we're definitely setting up the pieces for Grett's downfall soon.

can you really count the TikTok challenge as a "Jake immunity win"? literally everyone except Gabby and Grett won immunity in that challenge.

for a moment, i really thought Connor was going to pull the Kim Possible "out there... in here..." thing.

so true Jake

this feels like a fanfic line

you know Jake's having flashbacks to his last final 6 experience.

well, while i certainly thought that it was Riya's time to go in terms of the cut, it does actually make more sense for Alec to go home here, no plot armor involved! (other than arguably the plot armor of not letting Alec win the challenge.) Alec is much more threatening in a final 3 situation because of his greater athleticism and intelligence as compared to Riya, and Grett is closer to Riya than Alec. it sucks to see one of my favorites go, but it's entirely logical.

Riya out here projecting ("little toy")

this was such a good moment. i especially love the storytelling without dialogue going on with Connor's reaction. anyways, if Riya wasn't going to win before, she's definitely not going to win now. you don't get hit with the "look at what a sorry state you're in" three episodes before the final and then snatch the W.

maybe you shouldn't have fired and humiliated your employees live on TV, then.

is this season going to end with Kristal resigning from the show? i thought that might happen to make way for Emily as the new host, but now that she's going more villainous, i don't think that'll be the cast anymore. maybe Derek and Trevor will take the show back over, as (I think) the more popular hosts in the fandom?

anyways. a solid episode! i think a good number of people saw the Connor idol play coming from a mile away, so it wasn't all that surprising that one of the major villains was going down. still, we had interesting strategy and some great character moments, especially for Connor. they're really making the best of his extended time in All Stars. and, hey, there are only two guys left, so maybe he'll make the finale! it doesn't really matter, though, because it's gonna be Jake. i'll keep riding the Jake winner train until he gets eliminated. not that i think that's going to happen ;)

see you next week!

[genlossneg]

Oh my god I literally cannot convey to you that stumbling on this blog felt like seeing the sunlight again after being trapped underground for months. I thought I was crazy for finding fault with genloss because I have not seen any actual valid criticism anywhere and I thought I was losing my mind for not seeing the glory that is the, ‘next wave of indie horror content’.

Please.

There’s more horror in an average retail store on any given weekend than this entire series has in its three episodes.

Christ I don’t even know where to begin with this thing.

I’m not a film student but I’ve read the other film student anons’ posts and they are so incredibly right. There is so much about the series that felt hastily thrown together and I also loathe the phrase ‘intentionally bad’ when it’s something that’s been hyped up for as long as it has and yet, fell so incredibly flat. I have never been more bored, irritated, and confused watching a piece of media before, and have continued to feel this way as I watch diehard fans of Ranboo tout how great of a series it is?

Hey, Boobers- cmere, let me tell you a secret, genloss ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

It’s a lukewarm, lackluster production at best, and if I didn’t know going in that this was supposed to be Ranboo’s passion project, it literally feels like a school assignment he had only the bare interest in putting together. God this thing has no soul. It has no spark. And it hurts so much to know that this is what this great incredibly hyped-up project became, because from how they talked about it, it's obvious Ranboo loves this thing, and I wanted to love it too.

But it ain’t good. And someone should’ve told him long before now it needs massive edits, and I get it, getting hard criticism is painful and isn't fun, but if it makes your end product better, your piece of entertainment content more enjoyable for the consumer, then you gotta listen and bare it.

I’m an author and I know they do it because they love me, but whenever my editors are like ‘ayo this shit is whack wtf you talking about’ it does hurt my pride but!!!! But!!!!!!!! I go back and take a harder look at that section and sometimes I stand by what I wrote, but other times I now see what was wrong with it and make the edits. Sometimes entire concepts have to get cut to trim down the story and make it more cohesive and that also sucks, but you just tuck those ideas away for later or another project, and tbh I do not feel like anyone did this with the genloss concept.

This entire story feels like it is stapled together and there is literally no through line!! It is a random bag of ideas mashed together to form what I imagine an AI would generate if you typed in ‘mall, horror, evil cooperation’. Fuck it hurts. It hurts so much to be someone that is so passionate about storytelling and writing to see genloss get the attention it has, and for Ranboo to be praised for their ‘excellent writing skills’.

I do understand this was probably their second real attempt at writing a story for public consumption (first being his character’s arc in the dsmp), and like, nothing anyone writes on their second attempt to tell a story is gonna be great. Mine wasn’t, no writer’s is, and that’s okay I really genuinely get that, my problem is how the production was hyped up, how the budget was apparently blown on so much wasteful crap, and then how no one with experience telling stories took a look at his concept before production began.

It makes me sick to know that box cost 18k. Do you know what I, and many other small creators, could do with that kinda money?

This was a few weeks ago? Maybe last week? But Ranboo said over here on the tumbles that they were thinking about genloss in written form, IE a book, and I think I literally blacked out I got so angry. I am also writing a book (hahahaha hi it is not easy!) and I honestly don’t think it's half bad, but I have still been fighting tooth and nail to get eyes on it and nothing makes me angrier than knowing Ranboo could slap some half-baked shit into a word doc, get whatever kind of fancy printing they wanted, and sell more copies than I likely ever will.

I don’t wish anything ill on the dude, he seems like a nice person and I hope he succeeds, but jesus christ, someone needs to be real with them on their writing and story construction. TBH I think a large part of the problem is how rabid his fanbase is, so any kind of criticism gets buried under threats and just, people blowing smoke up his ass, and that is not helpful to him as a creator!! Dude wants to grow and improve, stop telling them genloss is the best thing since sliced bread!!

Let him get his feelings hurt over this, let them take that and make it their drive, let him know he can do better.

If you keep settling for mediocrity, you never push yourself to do something great.

But that’s just my two cents. Thank you for letting me word vomit in your inbox, I have been going crazy and I will likely be back <3

-the author anon

this blog is collecting anons representing all the creative aspects of gen loss like pokemon. first film student anon. now author anon.

but in all seriousness i'm glad this blog is a breath of fresh air for you <3 you're right! my first couple attempts at writing (mostly fanfiction, some original) i am very glad they do not exist online. part of writing well is being kind of really bad at it for a bit. ive taken a writing class (in college) and the entire foundation of that class was "we will write and then your classmates will give you feedback" and it made a lot of my work so much better. feedback is like. how you get good and i feel like you're right, the fanbase does drown a lot of that out (hence me making a dedicated blog!)

i hadn't heard of the gen loss book concept before this but. i can't imagine it would be super great at the current form of gen loss is in. and writing is so much more than "here's the plot" like. establishing a good setting and sense of place and making us actually connect with the protagonist and. author anon that awakened something in me

Let him get his feelings hurt over this, let them take that and make it their drive, let him know he can do better. If you keep settling for mediocrity, you never push yourself to do something great.

anyways. great thoughts! reposting that quote for those in the back :)

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

Me and Big Name Fandumb Straggots petitprincess1 and ayylmao.tv after I call them out on their bullshit and block them, basically...But especially petitprincess1...

Because wasn't the entirety of that movie one big transphobic rape joke basically and she thought using a tacky, "sassy" gif of that Jim Carry bullshit even back in 2020 was a serve?

And yes, this fandumb does sexualize everything but in a very Bad Form, telling, neo nazi simping way kind of way that just dries up all moistness from the cunt when the rest of y'all can't seem to keep the word "degeneracy" out of your cheato dust breathing, incel/femcel mouths even "ironically" and that's why I couldn't bare trying to recommend these shows to any of my actually filthy, fucking John Waters loving queer friends who actually know who he is and actually know how to fuck. Because some of y'all fucked up the vibe so badly, in the Bad, Bad way... And I still (somewhat) blame Ashley Nicholas and her moistphobia for "Trend Setting" all that Bad, bad taste. Still tastes like that sauceless chikn nuggit (so if vivziepop actually made coco melon for tenderqueers... Oop!) Baja Blast flavored Furry Has -Been Tears, cheato dust, transphobia, and bad eggs in here sometimes and honestly if you're not a fanartists with loved ones keeping the vibes alive I'm kind of over it... My literal, crippled hands give me every excuse to write these think pieces while I'm waiting for my fanartist to help me complete and debut my character so I can focus on creating more art for her-- but these abled-bodied nasties have no excuse to be spamming the space with clickbait and gossip blogs regurgitating Medrano's every move on social media while harassing other artists and creators to the point where it just over saturates everything else good in this fandom and I have to turn my replies and everything off because abled bodied mentally ills get so offended when you call them abled bodied mentally ill and then I get an ask insulating I'm going "anti" when the insult was directed towards an anti who was essentially trying to tip my wheelchair over like a cow and block evading and harassing me in the first place-

Oh and let's not forget that I got screamed at, block evaded, harassed some more and called "biphobic" by another alleged bi girl, all for the crime of calling her "honey" but I guess I'm just gate keeping now because no actual queer person would think using a gif from Ace Ventura was an own and I guess that's why we have ayylmao.tv as our Fandumb Overlord and V*rb*l A*e as our Fandumb Mascot because we've learned from the Voluntary Celibates for The Radio Demon how BUNDADDY Ashley Nichols taught y'all during her SMUT SALONS to be too afraid of THE MOIST to go out and Experience some ACTUAL HUMAN CUNT, COCK, AND PUSSY despite being SURROUNDED BY ALL THESE PUSSY CUNT CUNT CARTOON WOMEN AND FURFAGS AND ALL THEIR PUSSY CUNT CUNT DICKS AND VAMPIRIC HENTAI TESTICLES. DRACULA GOT REINCARNATED INTO ALUCARD GOT REINCARNATED INTO A DEER, IN A STORY WITHOUT ALL THE NAZIS, COPS, OR RAPE BECAUSE IT'S WRITTEN BY A QUEER WOMEN, AND Y'ALL LET A STRAIGHT MAN PULLING A BLEEDMAN AND SIMPING NEO NAZI GAMERS BE LIKE: "I dont see why people want to fuck this character at all! UWU" AND THEN Y'ALL LISTENED TO A PEWDIEPIE ENJOYER MAKING A CLICK BAIT FARM OF A QUEER WOMAN'S ART AND YOU LET HIM BECOME THE FACE OF "HELLAVERSE" YOUTUBE MAKING "CONTENT" ABOUT "WORSE" CLICKBAIT BROS LATELY LIKE HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE ELON MUSK KEEPING DONALD TRUMP IN CHECK AND THEN I GUESS PETITPRINCESS1, V*RB*L A*E AND THAT OTHER V-TUBER BITCH I DON'T GIVE ABOUT JUST GET TO SHARE THE ONE KANYE WEST BRAINCELL-- THERE I SAID WHAT I SAID!

But this fandom space and the louder youtube fandumb space in general just makes it feel so unsafe to be a minority sometimes and I'm actually understanding why actual queer women and femmes with queer experiences outside the fandom, including actual kink and leather spaces, just cannot bring themselves to interact with it, or take it seriously as an Iconic Piece of Queer Media, despite Medrano's General Aesthetics and Good Choices being *SO* Objectively Pussy Cunt Cunt Slay! The fucking majority of the time.

Because hey, I can admit it, Medrano's Bad Choices ARE cringe, and her scorned ex crew members and the internet personas that tend to attract her attentions are even more so... And it sort of does bring down the mood a bit. But that's honestly just the consequence of being a young Scene Queen interacting with Fur Fags and Theater Kids the majority of her career so I can give her grace and forgive her.

The song 'Loser Baby' and these shows exist the way they do for a reason and I wouldn't change who Medrano is or her journey that brought her here for the the world.

And much like with Diablo Cody, and Jennifer's Body... First of all, I will be calling out the ableism Medrano lets Rogers write into her show sometimes, AND I'm not saying that Medrano herself has any control over the people marketing her shit, including her merch, or the people spreading misinfo she's sometimes maybe forced to interact with because of the environment that this creates, including incels monopolizing and monetizing anything having to do with her shit for their own gain ... BUT! That doesn't mean that while I suffer here I can't critique Medrano's Wider Fanbase and how it got like this because I do believe this youtube and vivziepaparazzi problem, with certain types of people having nothing better to do than re-posting and commentating on her every word.... All the time... IS a type of unfortunate trickle down by product of Medrano coming of age on the Internet in what was, at the time Metrosexual Scene Kid Fur Fag Central and thus today, because of everything she went through, her and her work can tend to attract another certain kind of lackadaisical person, for lack of a better term, who just does not give a single fuck about anything unless it offends them personally just because it gets "too political UWU" and makes *Insert Political Majority Here* "Uncomfortable" and "We should just all be here to enjoy the animation and sing Jambalaya blah blah blah bc antis bullied us into having a Victim Complex so now every 'Controversy' involving race, ability, gender or sexual orientation unless they're already considered 'degenerate' by cishet white male gamer dudebro standards is Invalid and any actual queer/femme in the fandom serving much more Queerer Pussy Cunt Cunt Looks and Opinions than we're used to by talking to the rest of like we're adults who don't need everything to be a SING-ALONG despite what Jim Carry and Jeff Bezos think? Well, that person MUST just be an Anti taking it too far and out to destroy the Community We Made out of Clickbait because she's being so Mean and Ruuuuuuuude~! UWU"

And honey, I'm just here to give y'all a Reality Check and spill that tea because any queer here is gonna opinions and Tell The Truth this Cunty it's the Crippled Girl who's Felt Personally Victimized by Brandon Rogers, has absolutely no parasocial relationship complex with Medrano whatsoever and thus can admit that she does have bad taste in (most) internet personalities (besides honestly Brandon) and that Sausage Party, Medrano's general affinity for DudeBro Humor that got Vaggie actually named "Vagina" and probably honestly brought a good chunk of her "DudeBro" fandumb over to help bronify the fandom (aside from maybe the actual can of worms hiring and retiring an actual brony and outted grommer probably opened..) Dear Evan Henson, and Owl City all suck... And while we're at it, Beetlejuice The Musical and the effect it had on the girlies in that fandom sucks too, but I like how it inspired Medrano so and I like what she did with it, so I'll give her that.

But you guys? The YouTube/Twitter Clickbait Incels and Femcels who think someone gayer than you going "Hon.." is an insult? I'm gonna give you one last read for the night from an An Inspiring Drag Creature...

Almost every single male voice actor in the Hazbin pilot just got replaced with someone hotter, nicer and more charming and attractive than them and y'all with extra hotties added on to the official cast and given their chance to shine and y'all complained about that. You COMPLAINED! Some retired pilot actors even went on twitter to encourage you by complaining about feeling insecure and unattractive in comparison too ... I realize that. 💀

But then Valentino's Official Voice Actor had to show up lying shirtless in bed on Twitter like G and tell y'all to calm down because basically for a lot of reasons, the wider fandumb space ain't giving Pussy, ain't giving Cunt and Given Slay, and we love Stella, her brother, who's fucking her or badly wants to, Valentino, Crimson, and Striker here in Adult Land because their designs are Pussy Pussy Cunt Cunt Slay and all their voice actors are fucking hot too... I don't know how to word this without repeatedly empathizing one word multiple times but fictional written incest fiction and some pre- agreed upon fictional incest role play between two consenting and unrelated adults can be fucking hot too but some of y'all with your moistphobias just aren't ready for that very adult conversation and would flip your shits if the cookie actually crumbled like that in canon!

My name is Luna Worst, apparently...

In conclusion:

Can y'all tell I finally snapped, went off my shitz and pinched The Leprechaun today and do you think he's gonna turned me into gold? Meaning a monetized clickbait "explainer" video in which he calls me "Insane" because as a Thorny Irish Rose in a fandom where fools be kissing the blarney stone, making clickbait content farms off a Fiery Latina because they have no bitches of their own, I proudly claim it's my fight as a beautiful Irish Bitch to hold an Ugly Irish Arsehole giving Jason McGuire from Dark Shadows meets Perez Hilton meets That Creepy Reading or whateverthefuck accountable and finally kill the fucking bastard if I have to! :D

Merry Sinsmas, everyone! ;)

[skyartworkzzz]

@auravs YO IDK WTF IS UP WITH TUMBLR BUT IT SOMEHOW DELETED UR ASK SO IM PINGING U TO ANSWER,,,

Heres my replies Ive tried more than 3456789 times sending, hope it didnt spam or smtng and the site was actually trolling me 😭:

OKAY SHIT FIRST OFF THANK U SO MUCH!! Rlly appreciate ur support,,! 😭💜

NOW, My Personal guide for begginer artists:

1. Try to copy arts u find online or even from medias u enjoy! (comics, cartoons and etc)

On each drawing u copy u will notice u have learned smtng new! So from there, try to draw an image by urself without any reference, and once u have an idea of how the artstyle u want works Personally, Id copy many anime images with similar art styles to then try and make pieces of my own!

NOW ITS IMPORTANT TO NOTE: it is not wrong to redraw images for PERSONAL and LEARNING purposes. What Would be wrong of u is to post it around claiming that You were the original creator of the image and not crediting the original one/the artist responsible for it

So as long as u aint stealing anyone's work, ure fine!

2. Use guidelines and shapes when drawing!

They are very important when beggining to understand anatomy! Ofc u dont have to draw All the lines detailed-ish, but at least to an extent in which u can see what is going on

So les say for example u want to draw a human body: u will have to understand that the top of the head is a circle, that the neck has a cone-ish shape, that the chest follows the form of a ribcage and so on It may vary from artist to artist, but if ure struggling to draw smtng specific, try seeing a shape on it to then make ur job easier! The body has to become a literal puzzle to ur eyes

However, I will advise u to plz not let these limit u. Indeed, as a begginer u have to learn how normal anatomy works, but its totally fine to change that depending on what artstyle u choose!

3. CONSISTENCY IS A SCAM!!!!

DO NOT WORRY IF UR ART DOESNT LOOK AS RECOGNIZABLE ON EVERY PIECE, I myself have only learned this recently and seen many other artists getting unmotivated cuz of this, but consistency truly does not exist. Whatever u do with ur art is nothing but ur RANGE. Its all the knowledge u have on it which makes u produce many pieces in different styles, and that is awesome!!

As an artist, u will always be learning smtng new, and what u learn cannot be un….learned (if that word exists IUSDNJKADLS) so its bound to show in ur work

4. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACT-

NEVER STOP DRAWING!!!! Like Ive said beforehand, u are ALWAYS learning smtng new!! Everything u draw is progress!

So no matter how bad u may think the things u do look, just remember that theyre likely looking MUCH better than the thing u drew yesterday

Art takes time to reach a level in which u feel comfortable and proud with how u do it, so its important to be patient and keep on practicing if u rlly want to get better at it!

Since u are a begginer, and if u have the time/motivation, Id suggest doing a doodle here and there to start picking up the habit to draw often. It is much easier to learn and less tedious once ure used to it and, ofc, enjoying it!

HOPE THESE ARE HELPFUL,,,, once again, they are based on my own experience thus far and some things I wish I knew back there………

AS FOR THE AU: ILL ANSWER THAT IN MY NEXT POST CUZ TUMBLR IS BEING A BITCH, amma ping u for my response if u dont mind so heads up,,,

[tlcartist]

real talk tho I cannot stress how much I HATE the idea of "cringe" culture. I hate that we're supposed to approach life in as nonchalant and apathetic a way as possible. You're only allowed to enjoy things ironically and not in a way that's TOO much. Oh, what's that? Too many people have also started liking that thing? Yeah liking that thing is cringe now, don't even pretend to like it ironically anymore. You spend time on ___ part of the internet? You spend your time with ___ hobby? Wow what a loser. Shouldn't you like, grow up and do things that are appropriate for your age or something? How pathetic.

Except the thing is, people who talk like that never give an alternative of what you're SUPPOSED to be doing. And I've seen these comments on literally any hobby or piece of media so please, dear faceless internet user, what exactly am I allowed to do with my time?

I think I hate cringe culture because it's the most thinly veiled form of jealousy and fear of vulnerability I've ever seen. You see someone sharing a part of themselves online in some small way (and it's often someone who's actually skilled at what they're doing), you see them having the NERVE to unabashedly enjoy something and it pisses you off. You're mad because you've made yourself miserable and other people aren't and it feels unfair. Don't they also know that they're supposed to be miserable? Why should they go around with their stupid little podcasts and video games and TikTok dances and memes when you can't?

But ultimately, who's more cringe? The person with blue hair who uses neo pronouns and talks about their blorbos and writes fanfiction or the person who's too afraid to show even the faintest hint of a personality or contribute anything of real value to online spaces and who just chooses to point the finger and shout CRINGE?

[fagsystem]

@ijugiccc posted this, but turned off reblogs. Since they are claiming to be correcting misinformation while spreading misinformation, I thought I would step in.

Prefacing with our level of medical recognition since they claimed that the only people who claim these experiences are undiagnosed and endogenic: We are informally diagnosed by our psychologist. She is a trauma specialist and is qualified to offically diagnose us, but we have chosen not to for the time being to avoid discrimination. We are not self diagnosed.

First of all, I just want to address the claim that splitting can only occur under trauma (they also said high stress in their tags but still).

DID is a trauma-based disorder and it is not possible to have it without undergoing trauma. However, not every single split in every single system happens from trauma. Here is further reading about splitting.

Whether or not a system splits is more-so about how stable the system is than how extreme the experience that lead to them splitting was. The less stable the system, the more splits and the lower the threshold for what causes a split.

We have an incredibly unstable system, and we are polyfragmented. Our brain splits very often and when it splits it splits more in response to the stress of splitting.

I am just saying this because the misunderstanding that splitting new alters in DID is uncommon and only in extreme stress makes it difficult to have this conversation.

Onto the second part, actually addresisng what was said.

'you cannot have a fictive of a character that has existed for literally two seconds/barely has any content on them. that’s not how splitting (or DID in general) works. fictives dont just come out of nowhere, it’s called trauma'

Actually, fictives don't come from trauma, they come from introjection. Which is not unique to DID.

Introjection is the process of an external stimulus getting internalised into a part of you. In DID, this process can become a literal dissociative part of you. Introjects is what these parts are called in DID.

Fictives are not some radical or different thing to any other alter. It is just that their sense of self is based on something the brain saw as opposed to something it came up with on its own.

Introjection happens very regularly to everyone in very minor and subtle ways, and sometimes someone will introject something rather intensely because it resonates with them. Think people who kin for fun who base their entire personality on whatever latest character has caught their eye (not that that's a bad thing). This is what happens when people with DID split an introject. But as it is a complex dissociative disorder, introjection can end up being very complex with dissociative parts being based on it and psudomemories forming.

When it comes to introjection, you introject something as you're experiencing it. So, for example, seeing a new piece of media for the first time. Even if there is little to no content about a character. It is actually rather odd if someone introjects something well after seeing it, as that's not how introjection works.

For our system, we introject a lot in a complex and dissociative way due to our DID. Often times this goes hand in hand with our splitting, which we would do anyway for the record, but as introjection is not just a splitting thing it happens outside of that as well. Me, personally, as an alter I am incredibly prone to introjection. I get new psudomemories and feelings and traits constantly from anything I see that resonates with me.

It, as with most symptoms of DID, is incredibly debilitating. I have been in a contestant state of dissociation for months because my sense of self is constantly changing and updating. I feel like a walking contradiction as I am a cold intensely intelligent 17 year old genderfluid man, a millions of years old immortal with a switch that inhibits my self control and I have no idea what setting I am on, I am a fucking cat.

Third is the bit in the tags about people claiming this happens to them tend to be undiagnosed and/or endogenic.

I will agree that a lot of people who have a lot of introjects, especially those who split them seemingly constantly for 'no reason' are undiagnosed. That is likely because people who are diagnosed have access to treatment that stabilized their system, decreases how often they split, and decrease the intensity of dissociation (which is what causes such intense introjection in the first place.)

As for it being endogenic systems, there is two reasons for that. Either, same as the first, they do not have access to treatment and therefore a professional to help them understand and work throught he fact that their disorder is traumagenic. If not that, then they are people who identify as plural (as in, multiple people in one bodies) for reasons other than DID or OSDD. They use plurality as a framework to understand the complexity of the human mind. You can consider it compartmentalisation in a way, similar to how people will have a 'work seld' and a 'home self'. It make sense that distinct aspects of themselves, such as aspects they introjected from something external, would get comparmentalised.

Anyway, the entire point of all of this is introjection is not some special or unique thing. It happening in an intense and dissociative way is not normal, but just in general it is. It happens to everyone. Just because someone has DID does not mean that they are wildly different from everyone else and suddenly the process of introjection is this new special thing, it just means it can be far more intense. Often times this intense introjection happens alongside splitting (in our case that typically happens because the aspects we have introjected are incompatible with the rest of the system and therefore becomes a dissociated from it but that is not as common and is because of our instability as stated) but not always. Like, I consider myself an introject of every single thing I have introjected because even though those introjected parts of me as an alter did not come with dissociative barriers, the intensity of them is because of my DID.

[bekkachaos]

*screams about heartstopper*

like literally i dont think any one piece of media has ever made me so joyful! It just just so beautiful. Visually its so pretty, thematically it toes (tows?) the line of realistic and comforting really well (at least for me), the acting is incredible - especially considering the age of the actors, and the constant unapolagetic queerness that is so obvoiusly written by queer people is so refreshing and just .. nice to see. Nick saying 'im bi, actually' so many times was heartwarming and - as someone who is bi themself - it was so nice to see that the only time the usual bi stereotypes were presented was through nicks anxiety (and also ben). I am so scared to see where they take nick's self worth in regards to his 'similarities' to ben bc i don't want to see him sad. I had already read the comics so it was so cool to see how effective this adaptation is continuing to be. the final few scenes of episode 6 have altered me as a human being and are like a visual form of pure nostalgia and comfort. the taylor song in there is so gorgeous. and speaking of songs the entire soundtrack was perfect (like they understand the vibe and the target audience) and had me doing the leo dicaprio pointing meme constantly. I also watched both seasons several times in the last few weeks and probably will rewatch for the rest of my life tbh. I cannot wait for the next season. anyway yea

I 100% agree I just watch this show or read the comics and I am smiling uncontrollably and just feel so warm and comforted and happy it's insane!! It's so beautiful to see something that feels so genuine and it's awkward but sweet and even seeing the changes and growth of all the characters from season 1 to season 2 feels so realistic!

Nick Nelson saying "I'm bi, actually" about seven times in S2 is literally so accurate and I felt so validated by that because it's so real (also as a fellow bisexual) to have to continually justify your sexuality depending on who you're in a relationship with. The queer rep is just wonderful and can I just say that Isaac's journey this season was one of my favourites and the way I screamed when he went back into the library and claimed the ace book at the end 🤌

Anyone who hurts Nick Nelson or makes him feel sad must endure my wrath! I want to put him in my pocket and protect him from all the sad in the world he is so sweet and caring and kind to Charlie, I hate seeing him compare himself to Ben but I love the way they showed that yes the situation was similar but he was so different because he cared about how his coming out made Charlie feel too and they literally talked and communicated, it was fucking beautiful.

And the whole hickey shenanigans from Charlie noticing it (or lbh from when Buck gave it to him) was so funny and realistic and just that episode was perfection (I'm saying this like all episodes weren't 😅)

The Taylor song scene literally did things to my heart, I felt that scene physically, and you are so right the whole soundtrack is perfect! I mean, Taylor aside you have girl in red, Conan Gray, Gabrielle Aplin, wolf Alice, Holly humberstone, Miya folick like so many more I am obsessed with the soundtrack! And have you listened to the "to Nick from Charlie" playlist based on the mixed tape from vol 1? It's literally also a vibe and has Hayley kiyoko (my beloved) and Troye Sivan (I was JUST SAYING that his blue neighbourhood album is so heartstopper coded and wild is one of the tracks 😭)

My life currently consists of:

Drive to work with heartstopper playlist

Return from work and watch reels from the show / rewatch episodes

Read more comic (trying to spread it out so I get more but I am failing)

Constantly think about all of them until I fall asleep

Repeat

I'm just obsessed and it makes me so happy like I can't even explain it, I love it so much 💕🩷💕

[nicki0kaye]

I've been thinking a while about why this became a thing, and there's been a lot of great posts about it, but I want to try and untangle where this misconception may have sprung from.

We know for a fact that if one has access to media that portrays a minority group as respectable AND entertaining, the audience is more likely to form a positive parasocial relationship with that character and carry that parasocial relationship into the real world. Will and Grace had a big impact on the general American population getting comfy with the idea of Gay ppl just being People who are Gay. This is, to the best of my understanding, what's at the core of 'Representation Matters'. If you show an outside group favorably, there are real world benefits. Negative portrayals of minority groups also have direct, real world consequences, mostly by reinforcing biases and unspoken reasons why the minority group doesn't deserve respect. Good intentioned portrayals can still reflect negative cultural assumptions about a group.

This is where I think good intentioned teens and other literal thinkers get hung up. Because a 'good' portrayal can have real world benefits and a 'bad' portrayal can have real world consequences, obviously we want more good shit and should shun and avoid bad shit. Instead of this being a general rule of thumb, its a black and white issue where any 'bad' attributes immediately knocks a piece of media out of the 'good' category, when...that's not how media works. There's also the flattening between characters and real people inherent to this kind of thinking; if you don't treat every gay character like a 'real' person, ie portray them favorably in ur piece of media, you hate real gay people.

Applying the knowledge this way has fucked everything up, bc it ignores a super important part of Why Representation Matters; it helps convert assholes. People who already know gay ppl are just normal ass ppl don't need to have their hands held or be coaxed gently towards the conclusion that everyone deserves basic human rights. Gay ppl obviously benefit from seeing themselves reflected in media, but that INCLUDES 'negative' portrayals in a way that would-be converts cannot benefit. The converts are still freshmen in Ethics 101 and everyone else is speeding through their AP college electives.

ultimately, the characters and what happen to them Do Not Matter, if you're mature enough to realize Fictional Characters and Real Life People are two completely separate groups. One of them are objects by default and the other are subjects by default. We want less assholes treating real human beings like objects, because it is always, always the real world ppl who matter the most.

Messy, awful, fucked up media exists for a reason. It inherently serves an emotional regulatory function. It is helpful for us as humans to experience scary, fucked up things from the safety of an observer/audience. It is helpful to express awful feelings and beliefs through fiction bc it can help process those things without endangering Real People. The problem has Never Been the messy, awful, fucked up media. It Has Always Been people using that media as an excuse to be asshole to real ppl, either intentionally or unintentionally. This is why fetishes are fine so long as every Real Person involved has consented. The second you transpose your fetish onto someone who did not sign up to be your fetish object, that's the very second you become an asshole no one wants around. That is literally the line. Making the media is not an inherently evil act, consuming that media is not an inherently evil act, Treating Real People like shit is fucking evil, so don't maybe, idk

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

[paincomes]

Hello it me anon again 🧚🧚

Sorry for the absence I actually have been trying to cut down on whump consumption bc I genuinely think it’s affecting my brain and inhibiting my enjoyment of other forms of media 🦤🦤 anyway

YESSSSS like I said I cannot help but empathize with Paris!! I’m not sure why!! Perhaps bc his anger is so obviously a cover for and response to a deep, quite literally inescapable sadness 🤩🤩 he is so hopelessly trapped by the circumstances of his birth 🤩🤩 so difficult to hate someone who is responding to an environment out of their control idk!!! Don’t get me wrong he needs his shit rocked for what he did to delta (although I feel like I could write a whole other tidbit on my thoughts on that 🧐🧐🧐) but I think he deserves redemption u know!!

And the chapter u just posted about his mother made me EMOTIONAL. They were both soooo trapped by the emperor in different ways but both responded with anger and defiance (in their respective fashions) and UGH like (feral) mother like (feral) son.

I am just so excited to see Paris when he is not Literally Fighting For His Life™️. I would also love to hear more of his thoughts about delta!!! I didn’t realize he was thinking of him so much and I LOVE that and would love to hear about his GUILT >:))))) (but like I said I just want him to suffer a littleeeeee ok believe it or not I only read whump for the angst as well as kidnapping, drama stuff I don’t fuck with the torture sadism stuff at alllllll - actually the only piece of urs I haven’t read was the “Paris caught by nezu” bit I got halfway through and I couldn’t stomach it LOL)

Anyway !!! I might end up hitting u up for those spoiler-city bits you’ve written but I’m not sure if I want to spoil ittttttttt bc I am enjoying the ride ugh so I’m still undecided

Anyway love it keep up the good work 🧚🧚🙏🏼🙏🏼

omg!!!!! hiiii anon it is so lovely to hear from you!!! just saying upfront i really love your thought process and im super open to hearing you elaborate on any of this. but let me go through point by point!

i totally get what you mean about trying to cut down w the consumption. ill be honest at times i dont know if this is healthy for me in the sense that it might be too much of an indulgence or just a hyperfixation that causes me to neglect my other responsibilities. i could probably go on a longer rant about how i feel about having made destroyer as a writer and how its affected me/is current affecting me. i have a lot of thoughts on it but id be curious to hear what its like for you as well.

and yeah i really do feel a terrible amount of empathy for paris. hes so deeply human and there is truly just such a void in his life where compassion and understanding should be. he has been met with so much cruelty and for so long hes just incapable of imaging a world where there doesnt has to be. both him and delta were failed by every single adult in their life and its just devastating to imagine what could have been if theyd just been given half a chance :(

please share the tidbit about whether paris deserves to get his shit rocked for what he did to delta! sometimes i forget just how CRUEL he was and i get angry all over again haha. i can make a lot of excuses and explanations for why paris is the way he is but at the end of the day he did not need to treat delta that way.  he didnt! he just did because he could and because delta was an acceptable target and paris cant think of anyone but himself most of the time 

he does feel a tremendous amount of guilt for it now. delta is absent from crash out physically but his presence is pretty much always there. paris’s tendency to avoid talking about him is active repression of the memory and of any guilt associated with it. the next parts of crash out are ALL about this. im very excited to write them.

and yeah poor sabina :(

she deserved so much better and i think it kind of destroys paris to be learning about this after he has already perpetuated the same cycle of abuse against delta. he projects that guilt onto his relationship with lorelai out of a genuine desire to do better but its already too late! paris locked delta in the same golden cuffs that the emperor stole his mother in. sabina was one of the few genuinely positive figures in his life and he misses her a lot. you can imagine how heartbroken she would be to see the way he treated delta. and paris knows that too! he’s genuinely very ashamed of himself. honestly he has always been ashamed of himself but crash out is the point at which that shame can no longer be suppressed. the reckoning.

also agree about your tastes! my favorite flavors of whump are dehumanization, humiliation, guilt, and fucked up codependent relationships. how did you know??? im not big on sadism either. caught out is very extreme for me, kinda just a matter of establishing stakes. but funny you bring that up! sabina appears at the end of caught out in a death hallucination ❤️‍🩹 it genuinely almost made me cry while writing it lol im such a baby

hmmm i might retract the offer for the spoiler stories because i think it is better to experience things organically! what ive written now is probably confusing to read without context and will give you the wrong impression. if its any consolation we are not very far away from the canon reunion in my estimate! im trying to get there fast without rushing too much yknow? its about the journey, not the destination :)

anyway! love your insight sooooo much! if you ever wanna come off anon and talk id super recommend it. or just keep sending these! i really appreciate them!

[foryoureyes-o-n-l-y]

I have read @bananaheathen 's fics before, almost all of them multiple times over, but I hadn't dared to start Of Mates and Men as a WIP. I know , I knowwww it was constructed in a way that it was equally enjoyable as a WIP, but knowing how much I loved their other fics , I knew I would be obsessing over the wait time too much to properly enjoy it

ANYHOO , All this to say that I had been saving it as a sort of treat to myself during the winter holidays because the hype around it within the Fandom made me feel like it was an indulgence I would enjoy the most tucked under blankets with a hot beverage , that that, is the kind of treatment it deserved. Now I have been told I'm too particular and dramatic about the way I consume media, so much so, that in trying to consume every piece of media to make sure I enjoy it the maximum amount, I've ended up not consuming them at all. But, hear me out. You all were NOT KIDDING ABOUT IT BEING AN INDULGENCE, A PROPER TREAT, A REMARKABLE EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE THIS YEAR AND ALSO QUITE LIFE CHANGING. After having curled under covers with hot beverages ( and also using every other ounce of free time I get to read it because I am addicted?! ) and having given it the treatment I assumed it deserves, I have some thoughts ( yes, more, actual thoughts, this was just the introduction )

1. I didn't think you could learn THIS much from a fic, to put it plainly. And I've read tons of fics before this which were absolutely beauuutiful, fics that've made me cry(out of happiness and/or pain), fics that I took time to recover after just because they were so moving, so SO nice, I couldn't quite believe it was real. I've read so many fics which had one huge moment or several scattered pieces which really made me stop and introspect and take a deep breath and have touched me in more ways than one. I've read fics before that I considered instrumental in some way, in making me a better person. But friends when I tell you This Fic surpassed it all, i mean, THIS

FIC

SURPASSED

IT

*ALL*

!

Look I was ready for a good fic, I really was, i read great banter by the author before, and I loved Louis going bonkers over Harry in very dramatic ways in their other fics as well so I genuinely knew I was in for a good time. But I could never, ever ever prepare myself for the personal impact of the fic on me. I hadn't ANY idea, a fanfiction could teach you this much about life, about myself, about - IDK I'm already out of words this is not going great 😭

Fanfiction usually teaches you a few life lessons there's no denying that. But I genuinely didn't expect to learn so much about myself, to actually feel such a personal connection to any story. Idk I just, feel like a better person, and my relationship with myself has changed even if by a little bit and I just observed that I'm being a little kinder to myself, in my head. It's never , EVER happened before and I'm not sure how it did now. It was the life lessons that came dressed as beautiful life lesson-y sentences that hit you HARD (idk if you know what I mean ) but it was also the overall journey, the consistent little things, the changing relationship between Louis and himself, the persistence of people who love him in his life and the love he has for them, and the way the love shapes him as a person - It was all of that and more, or less Idk,

I feel good in my heart, when I read this, a warmth I cannot explain, a safety that's...I'm not even sure how that could happen, a love for my people that's 10 times fiercer than what I consciously felt before and a very new, fresh friendships with myself that was definitely not their before.

Is this actually therapy in the form of a fic? No absolutely not. I would never say that. Therapy is important, it's irreplaceable like that really.

But does it heal you in a way ONLY art can? Absolutely yes. Does it just touch you so very intimately that you feel better just by that? Absolutely. Is it the literal example of how art just existing, makes us so much better as humans just by making us FEEL? 100%

I've learnt so much from this fic about love and friendship and grief and sorrow and Happiness and love and friendship, but I cannot emphasize this enough, no fic has ever impacted the relationship I have with myself, the unfairness of it , the cruelty of it, and somehow this has. And if it was not clear from this terribly wrong rant, I'm so eternally grateful to you @bananaheathen for doing this. You don't know how many lives you've touched and changed Just by providing this very enjoyable, very beautiful work of art. .

(I'm not done

Can you imagine 🥲)

2. The JOKESSSSSS. The inside jokes, the jokes within the inside jokes, the Fandom jokes, the wordplay The WORDPLAY, the niche wordplay that's just there for the fandom to find like little treats within a large treat for being a part of this chaotic space. One thing about me is I love canon references in AUs because they are so creatively done and it's just so fun when you realise that a canon moment is happening and you know, You knowww it's one of those momentsTM and you know what's gonna happen next and it's just a special thing between the author and the fandom and yeah. One of my favourite things.

But again, I was not ready for the way this fic includes Canon references( I don't think anyone can be ready for that actually). Because it's SO FRESH, SO UNIQUE??!?!!!!?! like I would have never imagined the Restaurants being named like that?!?! Sarah and Pillow Person?!???! Diana?!?! Perrie's?!!! ( I'm trying to make this spoiler free hence the ambiguous exclamations but also I have no words to explain the genius behind this so I'm not even trying )

They just keep coming 😭😭🤯🤯 they just keep blowing your mind and then they are just followed by more. If you thought you were floored by Tea Swift, welp you didn't think fast enough and now you're floored by Pillow Person and then soms other niche reference that only the fandom will get IT'S SO LOVELY GUYS HOW IS IT SO LOVELY I GENUINELY CANNOT BELIEVE HOW GOOD THIS IS LIKE I'M ACTUALLY HIT BY A TRUCKLOAD OF FEELINGS OF ADMIRATION AND REVERENCE WHILE I WRITE THIS

3. The banterrrr The banter, THE BANTER !

The OT5 Banter, The boyfriend banter, the best friends banter, the consistently enjoyable and somehow so accurately characteristic banter that pervades this fic is probably the mosttttt enjoyable part for me. Makes me want to reread it while reading it. For the first time.

4. OT5 feels. So. Much. Of. It.

The friendship makes you laugh and cry the most I think. It's just. It's beautifully done, a work of art to just narrate the evolution and the persistence of the friendship in that way. Something that is so purely done in the story I would Never be able to praise in enough words.

5. Look I cannot see an end to this post if I keep taking up one thing at a time that I loved about this, maybe I'll write a post as big as the fic ( no that's too much, it's quite a big fic , But I might, it is possible). The relationship is beautifully done, the Individual character arcs and their growth, beautifully done, the relationship develops very very very beautifully and is a whole other thing of beauty in itself i don't know how else to define it.

I have several more thoughts but I would never finish them I think , because I keep getting new ones as I write this and whenever I find myself thinking about this fic. So to summarise my rant about how miraculously good this is, I just want to say,

My feelings towards this fic are similar to Louis' feelings for Harry in it, and to anyone who's read the fic, the seriousness of that statement is not lost, i know.

Thank you so so much for this @bananaheathen Ironically, I don't have words to properly thank you for what you've created. But it is a highlight of my year.

[very-grownup]

Conventions of Fantasy Monarchs, Queens, and the Subversion Thereof

I think a lot about Megan Whalen Turner’s use of monarchy in her novels and how that compares to royalty as presented in children’s fantasy fiction (as well as adult fantasy fiction, although I think there has been a strong turn away from rulers as absolute moral arbiters in the past twenty-five years, maybe, in favour of portrayals that are not necessarily more nuanced or realistic but are certainly more corrupt and far from divine) and Turner as a feminist writer and how these two aspects of her writing are interlinked. The nature of her approach to her Queen’s Thief series, however, requires a finer focus to begin from the wide view. While other authors world build with brick and mortar, Turner’s books create their world through origami. Each book is a separate piece and is folded into the next.

In "The Thief", Turner starts by establishing the three kingdoms of the Little Peninsula: Sounis, Eddis, Attolia. King, Queen, Queen. Although “The Thief” is wholly Gen’s story, the King of Sounis appearing briefly at the beginning, the Queens of Attolia and Eddis appearing at the end, they are established as the powers that be, the decision makers, the three figures trying to maintain their country and their identity in balance with the martial and economic pressures from all out sides. We know little about any of the monarchs, beyond that Sounis is older and Eddis and Attolia are both young. That the young women are queens, not princesses, is immediately a quiet triumph, an eyeshiver of subverting the unquestioned status quo (you think now, as an adult, of all the uninterrogated eternal princesses in your media, the young women without fathers or with fathers specifically deceased, and the refusal to permit their ascension to an adult title).

Indeed, in “The Thief” it is impossible to envision them as princesses for they are not given names. This is not an oversight on Turner’s part, not a diminishment of their personhood or, at least, not a diminishment of personhood that is not considered part of the parcel of governance. The three monarchs are frequently referred to simply by the name of their country, even dispensing with King/Queen of [Country]. Of course this implies a degree of the individual as their country, their country as the embodiment of the individual, the placing of country before self which, in and of itself, calls on the typical mythos found coupled with a hereditary monarchy. But it also shapes the reader’s understanding of the dynamic between the three monarchs as equal. Queens instead of princesses is adult and the further step of country in lieu of title degenders them, allowing the reader to move beyond their expectations for these titles, these roles, based on previously consumed media or even an awareness of those monarchies which continue today.

It is easy to overlook these socially conditioned expectations; the woman who is a doctor but regularly addresses as “Ms.” without second thought versus the rudeness of anyone forgetting to address a man by his professional credentials. Turner lifts the reader away from expectations they may have for such archetypes as ‘king’ and ‘queen’ without any fanfare given for what she is doing.

Moving beyond the scope of the three monarchs, into the matter of Eddis and Attolia, the only female characters in "The Thief". When the women appear, Turner sets up a familiar feminine binary between the two queens. Eddis is ugly but kind. Attolia is beautiful but cruel. Subsequent books prevent this from being a reductive portrayal of women without invalidating the initial descriptors. Eddis is never described as particularly attractive, but in certain eyes she is beautiful, without it ever seeming like a case of a perceptive/quality man perceiving a non-traditional beauty. Her kindness is tempered, prevented from being a weakness as she makes hard, sometimes ruthless decisions in “The Queen of Attolia” and those decisions are not motivated by possessing greater kindness than Attolia. Instead, she is equal to Attolia in her fierce love and protection of her country and its people. Attolia, the supremely beautiful woman who is cruel, is not the beautiful but evil queen not because she is not truly cruel, but because her cruelness is an expression of her ruthlessness. It is not petty, this is not a governmental expression of a Madonna-Whore dichotomy. It is two women who are physically very different operating in very similar roles with identical goals.

The physical difference is not significant; it is fact.

The important difference, the real dichotomy, is not a question of which of these women is good and which is evil, which woman is ugly and which is beautiful, which woman is pure and which is corrupt. It is, in fact, not a reflection of the women at all, but a reflection of the society and men around them.

More than the other books, the complete understanding of how Turner has taken superficial expectations of kings and queens and the portrayal of two women who, by existing in the same text will always in some way be positioned against each other, is achieved in “The King of Attolia”. Not, as might initially be thought in “The Queen of Attolia” in which the Wicked Queen is given the history and explanation that Explains her; for once we understand why she is wicked, will her actions not seem more understandable and forgivable? Turner in fact says no, Attolia’s cruel acts remain cruel; the nightmare consequences of one particular action continue throughout the series in the form of literal nightmares. “The Queen of Attolia” also gives Attolia a stand-in for someone who appears to be filling the role the evil advisor who leads a good woman astray for his own power and gain in the form of Nahuseresh.

“The King of Attolia” has a protagonist who is not of the nobility and from his perspective the reader gains a deeper understanding for how Attolia the country has been affected by Attolia the queen, the disruption of tradition rippling out to a disruption in the land and its greater politics. Initially, Attolia is a queen governing without a king, contrary to tradition. As a result, Attolia is surrounded by men wishing to control the country through her, their own schemes kept at bay by Attolia making ruthless example of a few individuals and setting the survivors against each other, focusing their attentions on the immediate threat of their peers rather than the abstract threat of not having direct control of Attolia yet. There is a sense given that the history of Attolia’s reign has been a steady escalation of ruthlessness as the scheming and the impatience of her barons persists and under the distraction of infighting, spies, beheading, and torture she secures alternate sources of power which strengthens the tie of loyalty binding the lower classes to her by instituting policies of a non-traditional nature like: meritocracy in the military, terms of indentured servitude having finite limits, and financial compensation for people working for the crown.

Attolia’s political actions, once the reader comes to understand them, are actions which elevate the powerless in her country and in doing so it enables to cement her own power: the power of one who, traditionally, would also be powerless. That we only become aware of this, truly appreciating the impact of Attolia as queen, instead of just the difficulties and hardships personally suffered, from the point of view of an insignificant young soldier and guard, who both fears and is loyal to the queen, imbues this interpretation of Attolia as one of greater truth than what is shown in the previous books. The narrator of “The King of Attolia”, Costis has a simpler view of the matter, a man on the ground view. He has no experience of living under the rule of anyone but this queen. He is not affected by the wider inter-country politics, his position is one formed by experiencing Attolia’s rule. It does not read as propaganda or apologia for the actions of this woman which are influenced by our ancient history and the politics therein.

Turner’s series has now come to an end and the number of main female characters never expanded beyond Eddis and Attolia but, in a genre that frequently fails women, even now, Eddis and Attolia are nuanced characters, powerful characters stretching the expectations of their archetypes and growing beyond them. The way Turner constructs her novels builds slowly and subtly into works that are feminist, despite the predominance of male characters, and strong with class solidarity and an anti-monarchial bent, despite the majority of the protagonists and point of view characters being members of the nobility. The genre and demographic do not need to steer the politics and ideas of a narrative and, in turn, those aspects cannot be accurately represented by simple numbers and Megan Whalen Turner demonstrates this often overlooked truth with each of her books.