#Like I like them and they're lovely but am I attracted to them?
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bonefall ¡ 3 days ago
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if you're stretching for shadowclan cats to use:
antpelt is mistakenly listed as from shadowclan in battles of the clans, and the wiki had him as a different character for a while. he also has an unnamed apprentice
shredtail is also mistakenly listed in shadowclan during bramblestar's storm
I am absolutely at the point where I'm willing to make absolutely ABSURD stretches. I'm affectionately calling all the extra cats I'm scrounging up from writer mistakes and background scenes "ShadowClan's Glitch Warriors." Thank you so much for pointing these three out, they're going in the list.
Suddenly, I was struck with an absolutely hilarious idea. Partner wanted something fun to draw but still has read absolutely nothing about Warriors, so I pitched;
"I will tell you nothing about these characters or who they are except their names. Draw a Shredtail, an Antpelt, and Antpelt's apprentice. TOTAL freedom over the designs here."
First they drew this lmao,
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"This is a joke," they clarified
"NO I LOVE IT," I said, "KEEP GOING"
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So we got Dollar Tree Shredtail, Great Value Antpelt, and the best thing I've ever seen in my life. Once they put these designs down, we talked personality and differentiators from the canon counterparts while they colored and refined them;
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I loved the bushy gaster tail so much that I swore on the spot I was going to work it upwards into a whole bloodline, including the very obscure background warrior in AVOS, Wasptail. So even though they're mentor and apprentice in BOTC, I've decided these two will also be related. Probably siblings, or auncle/nespring.
The little black one is based off an Admiral Butterfly (it was my idea to make the little spots on their chest look like medals), so the name seems clear to me. Admiralpaw. Xey'll be meewa unless another gender works better; and I'm planning for xem to go out during a bloody battle against The Kin in true admiral style.
(funfact; admiral butterflies are extremely territorial. Males fight each other for control of a plant to attract females to.)
Warrior name is still undecided, though. Open to suggestions, leaning towards Admiralflight or Admiralflower.
Not-Antpelt I'm having name troubles with. I REALLY wanted to name them Majorheart, after a major ant, to keep the "military ranking + bug" pun that Addy's got... but it seems that none of the ants in this area would have a major caste. B'awww.
In the meanwhile, Antspot works fine. Alatefang or Dronepelt could work, too. Feel free to shout out suggestions, this guy's name and gender aren't set in stone.
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Lastly, here's Diet Shreddy. Girl now <3
She is 100% going to be killed during The Battle of the True Eclipse, keeping consistent with the mistake in Bramblestar's Storm where Blackstar mournfully calls out the name of a Dark Forest warrior. I'm also undecided on if the actual Shredtail himself dies during that battle in BB, it might just be her.
In any case, she's probably going to be a TPB girl. If she's born during Brokenstar's time, she's one of the younger ShadowClan cats to take part in the WindClan Massacre. Might even be an early apprentice at the time, in a similar situation to Badgerfang (though in BB this was a one-time thing). If not during Brokenstar, then sometime during Nightstar's brief reign.
Right now she has no family, she's in my "reserves" at the side to use as a patch between generations. Her name is probably going to be either Tattertail or Shredclaw, given as an Honor Title after the Battle of BloodClan.
So she had a previous warrior name as well. She seems like the kind of troublemaker who would have the prefix Sike-- a small stream that dries up in summer. Sikestripe, if her name was given by Nightstar, or Sikestrike, if it was given by Tigerstar. Maybe it was one and then the other, in a sign of disrespect to his predecessor's lie.
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lost-romantique ¡ 1 day ago
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The Needs of Both these Messy Gays~
I just want to make a point and state that I'm not attacking or pitting both these guys against each other. They're dumbasses, the both of them.
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Blitz is someone that is going to need constant reassurance when he's in a relationship.
Being told the words "I love you" scares the fuck out of him because he doesn't trust those words of love.
At the same time, romantic gestures don't work on him because he's always going to assume the worst.
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"And then, he'll call me to see how my day was! And he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and LAUGH AT MY JOKES—"
Blitz is someone that has used his body and sex as a way to get what he wants. But his relationship to sex is one of the reasons why he's unable to trust those romantic gestures.
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Blitz constantly seeks reassurance, and he asks Stolas for that reassurance a LOT throughout Full Moon and Apology Tour...
"Am I not, like, fucking you good enough? Because I-I can always- I can always do better--"
Blitz immediately asks Stolas for reassurance that he's good enough, and that if he isn't good enough, he makes it a point to tell Stolas that he can do better.
Stolas responds to Blitz saying he cares very deeply for him, but being told he's cared about doesn't give him the reassurance he needs.
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Blitz asks for reassurance twice from Stolas in Apology Tour...
"This whole thing we had going... I'm- I mean you're a fucking prince. How could you ever actually care for an imp... Me? How could anybody?"
"Stolas, you are better off without me. 'Kay? You deserve so much... I don't even know why you would want to be with me."
Stolas never says anything really wrong in his responses to Blitz, and I think Blitz himself needed to here that. BUT if Stolas were to make one mistake, it would be that he states that he wants somebody / anybody.
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Blitz doesn't reach out to Stolas because of his issues in intimacy, and because Blitz himself hasn’t been given the reassurance that he's the one Stolas wants.
Do you know who does give Blitz the reassurance that he's needed? Millie.
Millie is able to give concrete examples to Blitz on how he made an impact on her life.
In fact, Millie states that Blitz is the reason that everything she has in her life is thanks to him being unapologetically himself.
"He gave me so much: a career, a husband, a future, and now... he's my best friend."
The moment Millie gives Blitz the example of how much she values him as a person and as a friend, Blitz immediately asks for reassurance...
"You... you don’t hate me?"
And Millie automatically says, "Nah, never."
The moment Blitz is given the reassurance that he isn't hated by Millie, he opens up, he becomes vulnerable.
Blitz allows Millie to comfort him, and Blitz initiates that intimacy with Millie to which she obliges.
What's beautiful about this exchange is that there isn't anything remotely sexual about it. This is just one friend comforting another friend in need.
Blitz asks for reassurance again in the form of a question...
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And the moment Millie reaffirms that sentiment, Blitz opens up and shows Millie the real him.
Not the fuckboy facade, not the mask he wears... this is the REAL Blitz...
Blitz also shows incredible growth by not deflecting to jokes like he usually does, but instead by being honest with Millie...
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Blitz promises to Millie that he'll stop impeding on her marriage
Blitz states in the most subtle way that he has feelings for Stolas
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Stolas needs to be told that he's cared for and that he's loved by someone.
He's also someone that seeks romantic affection in the form of compliments, and big and small romantic gestures mean the world to him as well.
Blitz unknowingly makes Stolas’s romantic fantasies come true...
A rogue assassin comes into his bedroom to "scale the walls" and he acts like he wants Stolas a lot.
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This man is attractive, he is literally the protagonist of a romance novel. His boldness and confidence is alluring. He is a dream come true and he's here to take what's his.
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This man just literally sweeps Stolas off his feet, and he still does this while giving you the most smug grin.
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Blitz throws Stolas to the bed, and gives him ultimate rizz in the form of this shit eating grin.
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And the moment Blitz bites his neck, Stolas is so fucking into it he creams himself.
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Blitz is so good actually, extremely good in being bold, confident, and sexy. He knows how to unravel Stolas. *cough*
In fact, the moment Blitz catches him, Stolas is smitten and he is down bad.
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To Stolas, this is a big romantic gesture. This is a motherfucking dream come true for Stolas because, "OMG THIS HOT ASS MAN JUST FUCKING SAVED ME!"
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But Blitz isn't a romantic, he's not good at showing romantic affection in small ways, and that's what screws him over.
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Stolas wants and actively seeks the smallest bit of reassurance and comfort that Blitz can provide, whether it be through text and or in other small ways.
This motherfucking birb, this dumbass Prince, even when he has every right to be angry at Blitz for the shit he said to him, still wants Blitz to hold him. In fact, he makes him hold him.
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Stolas is so fucking cute, being all like, "I'm mad at you, but I still demand you hold me."
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"You wanna know what I want? I want to know what it's like, to not be alone. I want to be someone's someone. I want to feel wanted. But like, in a romantic way, like I'm standing out in the rain at a train station and someone is shouting: “Harriet! Don’t get on that train, it’s going to London and I cannot be without you!”
Harriet the Train is a big romantic gesture. Stolas likes big romantic gestures, and Blitz is really good at doing actions that are big and bold.
Blitz has made Stolas feel wanted in The Circus and he makes him feel protected in Seeing Stars. Blitz knows how to be big.
Stolas doesn't need Blitz to perform Harriet the Train, but can he? Oh fuck yes he can.
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"The point is, I just... want someone to care if I stay or go. I want someone to want... me! To want to see me. To hold me. To look at me and think "You're the only one I want!" [sheds tears] "I desire to hold you and talk to you, and never let you feel so..."
This is what Stolas wants from someone right now. He wants to feel wanted in the small ways, he wants to be held, he wants someone to talk to him, to make him feel not so alone.
Right now, at this very moment, Stolas needs the small stuff. He needs the small bits of intimacy that Blitz is not in the right headspace to provide in Apology Tour.
Do you know who gives Stolas what he needs at the moment? Better than Blitzo guy.
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He's smooth and charming in a different way from Blitz. He doesn't even look at Blitz, actually, his eyes are only on Stolas.
"Great song earlier. You have great pipes."
He compliments Stolas on his singing, and Stolas is happy to be given a compliment.
BTB than asks Stolas to dance, and Stolas is both surprised and in disbelief.
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Stolas is so happy and genuinely has an amazing time dancing with BTB, he even goes out of his way to use his wings to give Stolas a spin.
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BTB even performs a big romantic gesture of pulling Stolas into a sloppy wet kiss, to which Stolas happily reciprocates.
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I think both these idiots have the potential to be what the other really needs, and I honestly think with proper communication they can have the most beautiful relationship.
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ragnarokhound ¡ 3 days ago
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kon and jason form a bond over the fact that both of them have a crush on tim and tim is oblivious about it. they still hate each other, obviously, but it's nice to get drunk with someone who understands, you know? except after nearly half a year of occasionally getting drunk and bitching about tim, they hook up. and then they keep on hooking up. but really they both want tim! which is about when tim walks in on them.
anon. anon i am taking you by the shoulders. this is beautiful to me. do you get how much I love the 'i love him not you, but he's not here and besides, you're the only other bitch around who i'd trust him with /derogatory' and how good that is for jaykon(tim)??? dO YOU??? (the mutual mutual pining. the pact between two people who both know who they're actually in love with. the potential for a True love triangle to form. slow burn in one direction, enemies to friends to lovers in another. i'm feral over this)
The first time it happened, it was completely by accident.
Neither of them could really be held accountable, so neither of them could really blame each other. No matter how much Jason would like to blame the superclone for literally everything that transpired, always and forever, it can’t be helped. There’s no one at fault but good old Jack Daniels. Jason hadn’t even known supers could get drunk, but maybe that’s Kon’s human half at work. Or maybe he laces it with kryptonite dust or neurotoxin or whatever. Jason doesn’t really give a fuck how Kon gets his kicks. He just knows that the two of them are the only motherfuckers who get it— and while that doesn’t make them friends by any means, it definitely makes them de facto drinking buddies. They are united by one thing, and one thing only: a horrific, embarrassing, deeply acute, and likely terminal attraction to one Timothy Jackson Drake. Yeah. They know. One unlikely team up on a mission gone wrong was all it took for Jason and Kon to reach an understanding.
From Tim’s disappointed scowling every time they bickered to the easy way he trusted both of them to manhandle him in the name of the greater good, soon enough, Jason had gone from glaring daggers in the superclone’s direction to trading pained, commiserating looks every time Tim twisted himself into a pretzel right in front of them. Which he did surprisingly often. Jason would call it suspiciously often if Tim weren’t the most oblivious, rizzless dumbass on the planet. He only has game when he isn’t trying. Unfortunately for both Jason and Kon, he definitely is not trying. By the end of that week, Kon had gone from threatening to throw Jason into space to wordlessly offering sad fist bumps every time Tim missed yet another thinly veiled come on. From either of them. (Tim thought they were finally bonding over bad jokes and kept laughing and booing in their faces.) Clown to clown communication at its finest. After the week was up and they were all set to go their separate ways, Jason shot his shot one last time, inviting Tim (and Kon by proxy) out for drinks. Tim politely declined, citing all the paperwork he’d need to fill out for the Titans that Jason had been fully intending to sidestep anyway— like fuck he’s ever touching another incident report in his life— but to Jason’s surprise, Kon took him up on it. The two of them had hit the bar, and by the third round of drinks they were both swapping Tim-stories and finally clearing the air about the finer details of that ass. The rest is unlikely history. Don’t get Jason wrong, they still hate each other’s guts. It changes from bitch-sesh to bitch-sesh, but by the end of the night Kon will have threatened something like snapping Jason’s fingers or lasering his face off, and Jason will have responded with something like an eye roll and asking him if he’d like a hunk of kryptonite to choke on. Only, the first time it happened, too many glasses of whiskey and one meandering walk from the bar to Jason’s closest safehouse later, Kon’s eyes had shuttered, dark and blue and nothing like the eyes either of them actually wanted, and said, “No, but I think I’d like to choke you on my dick. You game?” And, well. What was Jason supposed to do, but grin knife-sharp and mean and say— “I’d love to see you try.”
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ghouljams ¡ 23 hours ago
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Hi, Ghoul. Apologies for kinda venting (?) on your asks, and please ignore this if you'd like, but how does one cope with the idea (and, quite possibly, reality) of being alone for the rest of their life?
I've never been the most confident individual in my years of being alive. I'm not conventionally attractive, and I've been battling with my perception of self for like, basically my entire life. Never really had romantic relationships, other than unrequited and secret crushes. At first, I thought to myself that I could deal with being alone and unloved in that way, but I figured as I grew older that maybe I'm just trying to be tough about it. I want to have the kind of love that other people have, envious as I may sound. I want to be able to look at myself and think, "wow, despite my flaws, someone still took the risk to get to know me and chose to stay."
Of course, this is not to say that the love my tight-knit circle of friends and family aren't adequate. I'm just curious. And hopeful that someday I get to have that other kind of love.
That said, I really love your works and I am privileged to be able to read them :)) it's always such a delight to see your rambles and reblogs in my dash. <3 Hope everything is going well for you.
Hello my love. You already know I'm going to suggest therapy so I'm going to get that out of the way early.
Here's the meat of it. There are thousands upon millions of people who feel exactly the same way you do and I truly believe this is because of the way western society has structured its media/propaganda. So much of the media we consume is loaded with this idea that romantic love is this totally different thing that will complete your life and show you how worthy you are if only you can find it.
This is a load of horse shit.
One of the unhappiest times of my life was spent in my first relationship. I actually had a harder time loving myself because I was scrambling to prove I was worth being loved by a person who liked me in theory but in practice frequently flaked on dates and didn't care about my emotional wellbeing.
I say all of that because I had your same attitude of "despite my flaws they're choosing to stay with me" and ultimately she left me. Over text. It was a whole thing.
So many of you talk about being "old" and "destined to be alone" and you're like 25. Hell even if you're 50, people find love at any age, but the only way to find anyone good is to be comfortable with the fact that romantic love isn't the end all be all of love. You can fall in love with anyone, that doesn't make it a good relationship. It just means you're in love.
Also what do you mean "someone took the risk?" Are you a serial killer? Do you set fire to police cars? You sell meth? What risk do you pose to anyone? You're sad and have low self esteem. So what? That makes you a risky prospect? Your flaws of *checks notes* talking down about yourself is such a huge hurdle that it's a grave danger to anyone that wants to date you?
And I'm sorry I feel like I'm getting sort of mean but you got me in older sibling mode with this and so you're getting big sister shit.
I just- like if you truly believe that you are such a burden to date then you aren't going to get what you want out of a relationship. You'll become obsessed with the first person that reciprocates your affections and it will spiral into something that hurts you. I am speaking from experience.
My dear, i am a stranger on the internet, and I love you. This world is cruel towards tender hearts and disappointment hides in every corner, but we keep loving the world and the people in it anyway. Love finds us when we least expect it, and if you truly want that sort of love it will come to you.
But I need you to be kinder to yourself. I know you said you struggle with self image. Stop measuring yourself against other people. Stop setting up goal posts for your life. Stop thinking your flaws make you some undateable ghoul. They make you, you, and whoever you date will love you for them not in spite of them.
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squeeb100 ¡ 2 days ago
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I'm trying to parse through why I don't like Jayvik as a romantic ship, and thought I could type it up to maybe offer a counterpoint to people who are writing this viewpoint off as homophobic or ableist. Yes absolutely those are reasons people might not love this ship, but I don't believe either of them is a reason I don't.
So. Heads-up for some Jayvik negativity and some other general criticism of the energy in the fandom (I'm not gonna try to be nasty but I am, by the very conceit of this post, going to have opinions), and a disclaimer that if Jayvik makes you feel seen or happy or anything else that's not bad and I'm not saying this ship is bad and you need to stop talking about it and liking it. I'm just saying I, an individual person, don't particularly care for romantic interpretations of these two, and I don't interpret their interactions as romantic or sexual.
Actually before I talk about anything at all I really like this post and this person has said things a lot of things smarter and better than I will about sex and sexuality and Jayce and Viktor https://www.tumblr.com/ohnoitstbskyen/768136874376232960/asking-sincerely-do-you-see-a-romance-between?source=share
I feel like I'm within the Jayvik demographic. Viktor is my favorite character in Arcane, despite quibbles with how he was handled. For over half my life my major OTP has been KuroFai, which has a pretty similar vibe (storywise, not characterwise) to Jayvik in the back half of the series they're from. The are-they-aren't-they discourse surrounding them was also quite similar for many years. I'm not gonna talk about them really, but here they are.
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[image: an illustration of Kurogane and Fai from the manga Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle. Fai is a light-haired man with blue eyes, waving at the viewer with a relaxed expression. He has an arm around Kurogane, who is a grumpy-looking dark-haired man with red eyes and Fai's arm covering his mouth]
I'll admit to not having an incredibly good story reason that Jayvik SHOULDN'T be a thing, and I'm not going to present a good analysis really because I think I need to rewatch Arcane more than once to really have a solid grasp of it or a good read of the things that went "right" or "wrong" with the storytelling. This is literally my feelings-based opinion.
I like the idea that Jayce and Viktor have a deep-running love for each other that maybe defies attempts to define it as just friendship or brotherhood or romance or anything. I personally thought, in their final scene together, that the forehead touch was a far more heart-tugging, raw display of intimacy than a kiss would have been, and I genuinely didn't want them to kiss. I hope I've established that this is not because I don't like the idea of men kissing.
This may derive from the fact that I, like everyone, experience attraction in an individual way. For me, to extant, not-fictional people, almost never. I'm not uninterested in the idea of a life partner, and in fact would really like to have a person who I love more than anything in the world to go through life's hardships with, but I have rarely found an individual who I was interested in "romantically." I didn't experience adolescence the same way many of my friends did, and don't experience attraction to others in a way that seems "typical," if we can really define anything or anyone as typical. I have not been in a romantic relationship, not for lack of chances and not because I don't care about people - I have family and friends who I love very very much.
I think it is beautiful, the idea that two people can love each other, and support each other, and be soulmates and die together --- and not be in what mainstream society defines as "romantic love." If you want them to fuck nasty on the lab table that's okay too.
The second reason/cluster of reasons I don't really like romantic Jayvik is a little bit bitter and jaded and I'm sorry. It's the energy in the fandom and I can feel myself being pushed further into a stubborn opinion by the fact that I find this frustrating.
(I am putting on my "hypocrite" shirt)
Arcane has a really diverse cast. There are lots of women. There are lots of nonwhite characters. There are multiple prevalent, plot-important, kickass black characters. There is a canon wlw couple who make out on screen and then definitely fuck offscreen.
I know Jayce isn't necessarily meant to be white. Other than that. I think the fact that the Arcane tag is overwhelmingly Jayvik is just a little suspect. I told you it was a little bit bitter and jaded. I am not seeing the same level of fanart and analysis of specifically women and black characters, and I think that's an interesting energy this fandom is bringing to the table. I am not exempt from this criticism.
The longstanding argument that the reason we don't see more obsession with sapphic ships and characters who aren't (white) men is the lack of them in source material is feeling really hollow right now.
Anyway that's my two cents about Jayvik and if people care, cool, and if they don't, that's also cool. Please refrain from speculating about my sexuality in the comments. Peace and love.
Go donate to a palestininan, sudanese, congolese or lebanese family if you're able. Consider a donation to the Native American Rights Fund or another reputable organization, this week and always. In the wake of this election, you might consider mutual aid programs to help people in and around your community. It's cathartic to get drawn into fandom discourse, but there are bigger fish to fry.
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showsandstuff ¡ 3 days ago
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Am I the only one who is disappointed with Caitvi in season two? When I watched the first season I had the biggest caitvi brain rot because they actually gave me SUCH a fun dynamic with them. Buddy cop Caitvi was hilarious, I loved that so so much!
And season 2 started of strong imo but then it rushed through everything. I loved the scene in the cell, obviously, but it was misplaced. Your sister is about to kill herself girl what are you doing this is not the time!! And other than romantic and sexual tension there wasn't all that much left of their previous dynamic aside from the brief scene in episode six...
Idk, I think I'm just annoyed. Usually when I see a non canon gay ship get more traction than the Canon lesbian couple, I just assume it's misogyny or lesbophobia, and move on with my life. But I can't even do that here because Caitvi was WAY more popular in season 1 (as they should).
Jayvik isn't getting somewhat more popular in season 2 because people don't like lesbians, but because their arcs are connected so strongly to each other. (Also I'm not saying that Jayvik is now more popular than Caitvi, but it's like a graph where the super high stocks caitvi are still even while Jayvik is skyrocketing rn)
Wanna know why Jayvik wasn't all that popular in season 1? Because (after act 1) their arcs were mostly separate, safe for a couple of moments. Viktor worked on his body and Jayce was doing politics.
Caitlyn and Vis arcs intertwined more, they actually did shit together and it was beautiful, funny, romantic, EVERYTHING!
Also a fun opposites attract buddy cop dynamic is also just more fun than men who do science together (in my personal opinion)
Now let's look at Caitlyn and Vis relationship in season two.
It starts of strong. I momentarily thought that Caitlyn was uncharacteristically mean to Vi when she refused to become an enforcer, but she apologized for it later and I recognized the fact that Caitlyn was grieving. Then once we get to episode two and three I could already feel their relationship being a bit more odd. The kiss (though I cheered) didn't feel right. I felt like something was missing, and that was their chemistry from season one. Also I feel like we glossed over too many decisions that Caitlyn made, and I think Vi should've put a stop to it sooner. But overall I was okay with them in act 1.
Then we had a timeskip and the two were fully separated. Act 2 literally started with Caitlyn in bed with another woman, like we can see they're not together anymore. Caitlyn has obviously changed, there is not much of the sweet cupcake left that we had come to love in season 1, and Vi is boxing and getting drunk.
Then they meet and like... Vi calls Cait cupcake, and Cait switches sides IMMEDIATELY? GIRL WTF?!
I get that Caitlyn wasn't entirely on Ambessas side the entire time, but I had hoped for more drama first. So you're telling me the very next interaction the two have after their heart wrenching falling out is them making up again? Come on.
Then we had act 3 and overall it was better I think but the timing of their hot scene in the cell was just odd, like what about your sister about to kill herself? I was very happy and hyped in the moment but then I realized how rushed this was. Why? Why make em fuck right here? And in the final act, the two weren't together because again, their arcs were not as connected. And that's actually pretty cool to have a couple who do their own things! But it doesn't help their relationship when they, in turn, aren't given enough time to develop as a pair!
I feel like season 1 did this incredible job of setting these characters up, showing us why they work so well together and why they would fall for one another. And season 2 gave us pay off for it but with very little set up, which was needed because of how Cait changed throughout the season. I don't mention Vi here because she did not change. She had her drunk boxing phase, which we got nothing but a montage off, but everything else is basically season 1 Vi aside from very few things here and there. Like her becoming an enforcer wasn't a character change for Vi, her finally letting go of powder and calling her sister Jinx, wasn't a big character moment for Vi, they were pay off for a set up we didn't get enough of.
SO TO GET TO MY POINT:
S2 was rushed. We should've AT LEAST gotten 3 seasons, like minimum, because there was a whole lot of plot and very little moments in between for characterization. Especially for Caitlyn and Vi and their relationship to each other.
I still generally prefer Caitvi to Jayvik, but only because of season 1. Season 2 gave me the two things I wanted most (a sexy scene and a kiss) but forgot to give me the things that made me fall in love with this ship in the first place.
Which was the hilarious buddy cop dynamic of rich girl cop Cait, and broke butch prisoner Vi.
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peacedreamlove ¡ 1 year ago
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Its questioning all my life decisions and wondering what I really want in life hour
Anyone want to change their name and flee to the country side and start an alpaca farm with me?
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many-gay-magpies ¡ 5 months ago
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god what really gets me about dead boy detectives and what i think i love so much about the show and the relationships in it is that like. the romantic and sexual relationships aren't portrayed as being more unique or important than the platonic relationships. they're all just RELATIONSHIPS.
charles and crystal's attraction to each other and eventual hookup isn't this big end-all be-all relationship that shatter charles and edwin's friendship and draws charles' attention away from edwin; it's just a THING that happens. they're just two people that care about each other and happen to also be attracted to each other, and a hook-up happens, then they decide that neither of them are in the right place for it and it's nothing awful. crystal kisses charles, but it isn't some big spectacle of her declaring her love for him; it's just her saying goodbye and that she cares about him, like her hugs with niko and jenny and her handshake with edwin.
edwin realizes he loves charles romantically and tells him, and charles says he doesn't really love edwin romantically BACK, but it's okay, because they still love each other so much in so many other ways that this one tiny difference could never change them—and it doesn't!! they're still just as close, still care for each other just as much, still SHOW that care for each other just as much. their relationship didn't completely end because edwin loved charles in a way charles couldn't reciprocate, but at the same time it isn't "solved" by edwin getting over it, because there's nothing TO solve. it's just another type of love, added to everything that already exists between them. and they have LITERALLY FOREVER to figure out what it means.
the relationships between edwin & niko, crystal & niko, and crystal & edwin aren't given any less weight for being solely platonic, just as charles & crystal's relationship and edwin's feelings for charles aren't given (that much) MORE weight for being romantic. crystal and charles' conflict in the closet is about EDWIN, about how they're BOTH his friend and BOTH want to get him back; it has very little to do with the feelings between THEM, romantic or otherwise. similarly, the weight of charles' and edwin's relationship isn't diminished in the LEAST by charles not reciprocating the romantic side of his feelings (or SAYING he doesn't reciprocate, at least—we can all argue about the legitimacy of that in the notes).
i'm sure there are more examples than this, as well as probably some examples that CONTRADICT this, but like... by and large, it feels like dead boy detectives is a show where all the relationships are given equal weight regardless of platonic, sexual, romantic, or familial status, and as someone on both the asexual and aromantic spectrums who has struggled time and time again with shows casting out the importance of all other relationships in favor of prioritizing romance, that is INCREDIBLY refreshing to see.
#this might be a lot of run-on sentences and me repeating itself because its 2 am rn (sidenote how the HELL did it get that late last i chec#-ed it was like 11???) but i hope u enjoy anyway 👍#magpie thoughts#dead boy detectives#ik before watching the show i saw a lot of people were annoyed by charles and crystal's relationship and thought it felt forced and like#-��they had no romantic chemistry#but honestly. having watched the show. i don't see that at all?#like maybe it's just me being aspec and not getting what ''romantic chemistry'' even IS but like. they were people. they were two fucked up#-people that happened to be attracted to each other and they hooked up when both of them were in low places and agreed to not go any furthe#-after. but beyond all of that they are FRIENDS and they STAY friends and like. they just felt like PEOPLE#the way they were written and the way the actors ACTED IT felt like ten times better to me than the dozens of pinacle romances i've seen in#-other tv shows#(and also i gotta say i love the other CASUALNESS with which sex was mentioned in the early episodes. it wasnt made out to be this big thin#-that only happens when tied to romance; it was just a THING. theyre both hot and in different circumstances they totally would have had se#-about it (and eventually they did but thats besides the point). that's it)#they're people. this is a show full of ghosts and demons and witches and crows-turned-into-boys but they are all fundamentally just PEOPLE#beautiful and fucked up human beings that feel attraction and hurt and fear and love in a million different ways.#AUGH i love this show so much#paineland#payneland#crystal palace#charles rowland#edwin payne#niko sasaki#dead boy detective netflix#dbda
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spocks-kaathyra ¡ 10 months ago
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"ur repressed" okay well have u even considered that emotions r purposeless and only serve to cause harm to those around u and I have achieved a unique transcendent state beyond them. have u considered that
#joking but like. am I wrong though#yeah no one is able to overcome the inherent human flaw of emotion and anyone who thinks they can is in fact mentally unwell#except for me I'm built different I have actually managed to transcend emotion. this is a good thing and not a problem#I saw my father's anger and my mother's discontent and my brother's self loathing and my friend's yearning.#and I saw how it only made everyone more unhappy. and I decided I would be above them all and never let my emotions rule me.#I was scared of the dark until I realized that fear wasn't useful to feel. so I stopped feeling it#this is a good thing and I am a paragon of mental health I think#mmm alternatively I was made to play mediator in a family of traumatized ppl and learned to repress my emotions to the point of dysfunction#but I prefer to think I'm enlightened and have no problems. this is fine and will not blow up in my face#anyways. just now realizing that this might stem from my childhood. oops#also realizing that I'm probably not aro and I just learned to turn off romantic attraction bc I saw how miserable it made my friend??#well. I still don't experience romantic attraction. but probably I should and I will if I ever sort out this repression thing. whoopsie#really she was ready to kill herself over some white guy and I looked at that and was like. nope. I'm never stooping to that level#mm might not help that my parents never loved each other and I never had a healthy romantic relationship modeled for me as a child#but still like really like what is the point. of having emotions. they're just not useful#oh hurr durr I'm angry at my friends for talking over a tv show. there is no way to act on this without damaging ppl and relationships#ohh I'm in love with this guy who will never love me back. THERE IS NO PRODUCTIVE WAY TO ACT ON THIS#literally emotions can only be destructive and I'm a better person for opting out of them#there are no downsides to being repressed! I can still feel positive emotions. I'm happy sometimes. sometimes I'm excited. it's fine#guy who is Unpacking Things live on ur dash. sorry#narcissus's echoes#vent
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moe-broey ¡ 7 months ago
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When it comes to horny art esp in FEH like. I'm always split between "I don't wanna be sex negative and prudish that's stupid" and "Okay but there IS a misogyny problem (specifically about how female characters are portrayed/treated)" and "I'm Sorry Women (I do like huge titties and stupid slutty outfits)" and "I'm a huge anatomy nerd and what's pissing me off the most are the shit proportions here actually"
^ This user is on the asexuality spectrum.
#i don't wanna start discourse about it LMFAOOO it's just. the motions i am constantly going through#i think there is a difference between official artwork that is essentially a product being sold to you#vs independent artists who regardless of it they're selling their art. somehow there's a difference there#like i think horny/fetish art is so fucking important and worth protecting/going to bat for#esp the joker voice Society. cannot fucking take myself seriously LMFAOO BUT#idk idk. head empty. there's probably something there though.#i'm just stuck on an endless loop about it whenever something like a loki incident happens LMFAOOOO#that said though if any feh artist gives sharena an extremely sexualized alt i WILL have to kill them in cold blood.#and then the loop keeps fucking going like. it needs to be tasteful. she can be attractive. but it needs to be tasteful#and then the loop KEEPS GOING. like ohhh are you adsigning morality to art?? I DON'T THINK SO?????#i'm just devastingly demisexual about everything like. i love loki's new alt bc all things considered#it suits her. you can argue about the merit of Creating A Chara like her. but like. grah another endless loop#but it would NOT suit sharena#she would be SO uncomfortable. she would probably be found in the bathroom crying about it.#and then there's more complicated situations like plumeria.#i think her ny alt suits her v well. she is the elegant type. i am going to kill whoever made her summer alt.#and that's coming from a guy who's FAVORITE ALTS. ARE THE SUMMER ALTS#idk idk. i am incomprehensible even to myself.
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earl-grey-love ¡ 3 months ago
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I got afflicted with thoughts last night and thought what if there was an L.A N.oi.re AU with my current ships. It doesn't work of course, but I thought about it anyway, and I realised I can categorize my f/os based on if they're Cole or Jack coded. New genders dropped is he Cole/Ph.elp.s or Jack/K.els.o?
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depresseddepot ¡ 1 year ago
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trying to determine which parts of my relationship with sex are asexuality, which are trauma, and which are autism is like trying to have a conversation with three people talking loudly and all at once
#just to be clear: asexuality as a result of trauma or neurodivergency is still asexuality. full stop no debate.#anyway because i love oversharing on tumblr dot com: feeling very sex repulsed on this day#i was joking with some guy about fighting each other (specifically said ''you ever fight a girl over 200 lbs? id break your ribs'')#and like three different people said something like ''well that would probably turn him on''#and. listen. i get it. that was a joke response to my joke threat#but what i felt in that moment and still feel now requires nothing short of academic study to understand#first of all: how dare they make me feel embarrassed in a social setting when i was doing so well.#secondly: why the fuck would me making a threat make them instantly think of sex#thirdly: how fucked up is my body image that i hear that and immediately think they're all out of their minds#i like fat women. i am personally attracted to fat women. not (usually) sexually but i do think they are very nice to look at#so why is it so hard for me to accept that someone else could find me attractive as well !#i think about being in a situation where a relationship and/or sex is a real possibility and i flinch like its going to hurt me#but why???? where is this aversion coming from !!!!! i am a hopeless romantic i daydream about romance all the time#so whats the deal here. is it subconscious bc of my asexuality and i associate romance with sex?#is it because of my autism where i associate romance with touch and am afraid i am too unempathetic to have a chance?#or (most likely) is it just because im so fucking scared of trusting someone that even the thought makes me nauseous#did this all crop up from a throwaway sex joke? yes#but people don't make sex jokes to me. people don't even pretend to allude to me being cute#this same group of people said a few weeks ago ''at least you're pretty''#which. is not the case!!!!!!! people do not say those things to me because they don't want to even slightly entertain that idea !!!!!!!#and i am extremely tired of having my life upended because of this#i have always been treated like i was ugly and teased about it and i FINALLY have managed to be okay with not being attractive#and now that im okay with it: NOW is when the pretty jokes start. im fucking angry about it actually#i can't be both. i cannot think of myself in terms that abstract. i am one or the other#and this leads me to believe that people think i COULD be pretty. but the catalyst is that i am fat and therefore cannot be attractive#which just makes me more angry!!!!!!!!!!!#how can i be completely indifferent to sex and attraction without seeming juvenile. i don't care so so much#but every time that sort of thing happens i feel like im 13 again and the hot jock is talking to me#i need to be put down. something's wrong with this one (me)#i realize i can't stop people from making sex or appearance jokes but god i wish i fucking could
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roamthefarlands ¡ 4 months ago
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help im having the ysayle thoughts again
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musical-chick-13 ¡ 1 year ago
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Fandom be normal about bi women challenge (impossible. apparently.)
#look. I too am tired of (white) men getting praised for the bare minimum#but you all do realize that sometimes women do genuinely fall in love with men right#that women are capable of making their own decisions about who they date right#this is one of the reasons that I hate the 'genuinely I hate every single individual man' rhetoric#because so many times it goes hand in hand with this infantilization of women who are attracted to men#it's like 'oh these poor girls trapped in their attraction to men' and then like...treating them as if they are incapable of making informe#choices? like they're just inherently doomed to gravitate toward awful men because they Don't Know Any Better and are#Brainwashed By Society??? please tell me you understand why treating women as if they are too stupid to make their own decisions#is just misogyny again. you understand that right. RIGHT.#'why would you CHOOSE to date a man instead of doing the RESPONSIBLE and PROGRESSIVE and REVOLUTIONARY thing and date a woman!'#because sometimes. women fall in love with men. you can't. you can't will love into existence. you can't control who you fall in love with.#and people-if it's feasible-tend to want to commit to someone they have actual feelings for. what's not clicking here.#(and yes obviously this is a niche-queer-spaces-specific problem people don't have discourse about this in this way irl like the#general population isn't telling me I should only ever be attracted to women and date one solely For The Cause they don't want me#to be interested in women at all. that doesn't stop me from being annoyed every time I see said niche-space-specific ''''take'''')#it's especially confusing to me when BISEXUAL PEOPLE are like this about other bisexual people. like you of all people. should know#how maligned we are from multiple conflicting angles#In the Vents#biphobia#like I know I talk SO much about women and how I want to marry one but that genuinely is just because historically I have been more#attracted to women than men. if I meet a man I click with and fall in love with then hell yeah I'm gonna date him and be happy about it.#I'm not opposed to that outcome at all. but heaven forbid I ever say that lmao
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haoaibai ¡ 2 years ago
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i am literally. this close. THIS. close. to. fucking. cry. and shout.
my family has a serious obsession w me being gay and keeps forcing me to come out and out the closet. no matter how hard I say no, I REPEATEDLY hear “oh you came out? cant hide now can you?” like no bitch i was basically out years ago at a young age w all those subtle signs of queerness but brushed it off and went w being straight until my queerness became visible to me. i just wasnt so sure and i didnt know this community existed until i was like really old. back then you never knew I was GAY LMFAO.
and they keep saying “you owe me an explanation as to why you’re gay”, “if youre gay why watch kpop boy groups?” (she keeps calling them chinese and i wanna fucking smash a wall omfg), “you owe us a coming out story”, “youre not gay stop lying” etc then I said I don’t owe them shit and they REALLY said “oh but we’re your family? we should know” like.. there’s worser they said but dear god. that house is so lgbtq+ phobic, im suprised. the homophobia, lesbophobia, biphobia, transphobia, etc was REAL and showing in that HOUSE and the whole convo was just utterly disgusting.
i had my own PERSONAL experiences, lemme keep it confidential between me, myself and I.
then she says “oh but do you like 🐱 (down there) or a ���� (a guys below)” ? like dont fucking sexualise me??
they kept outing me multiple times,, and keep bringing up that i am a GAY PERSON.
LEAVE ME ALONE?? then my sis had the audacity to say im making up “excuses” like you’re straight? stfu you are not GAY. don’t speak for me. ever heard of unattainable men? oh ofc not cause youre so ignorant lmfao
I hate it here so much...
y’all mfs need to understand, not every person who likes women is a fucking lesbian. People can be bi and have a gf / attraction to girls. and just like how having attraction to men doesn’t mean you’re “being gay” or “straight”. you can be bi, pan, omni, etc even ace and like men. NOT EVERYONE WHO HAS SAME SEX ATTRACTION IS GAY AND/OR LESBIAN. bi, etc people EXIST.
I feel so annoyed and upset, and they SAW my vents in my phone about everything that happened to me. like don’t go through my fucking phone w/o permission??? and then my friend blocked me cause she got jealous AFTER ALL OF THAT.
and this is ALL on christmas. YESTERDAY.
ffs this christmas is fucked up bruh.
I’m never coming out.
and then the way I said people can change lgbtq labels of their sexuality, nothing bad and then my family goes “but you aren’t cake? how the fuck can you change labels lmfao stop lying”
Well done, thanks for forcing a fucking person to come out and out me numerous times.
the only way I’ll come out in when I leave this fucking dungeon. now I can’t even like women anymore now cause i feel so disgusting....
i really need help to feel comfortable in being queer. im really going through a hard time and I need some support please.
#lesbian#asexual#lgbtq community#sapphic#lgbtqia#queer pride#queer community#i fucking wish I was straight oh my GOD#“oh last your crush broke your heart” yeah he fucking did but that is not the reason why i am GAY#when will they stop saying that I should try it out and with myself w a man...#it’s fucking hilarious cause i cry every fucking night watching a kpop boy group as unattainable men that i love ss a lesbian#wishing that I liked men when i know i fucking DON’T#“next time say you’re bi or in between” what the actual fuck?? I AM NOT FUCKING BI???? I am gay. I LIKE GIRLS#NOT BOYS. WHERE do you NOT UNDERSTAND??#“you’re watching kpop boy groups though? for someone whos gay they shouldn't be watching that?”#it’s unattainable men you dumb fuck. just like how lesbians can watch conan gray or post malone content#and like/love him as an artist but not ACTUALLY attracted to them cause they're GUYS. just like how lesbians can watch kpop boy groups but#not feel attraction to men at all. you appreciate them but it’s not fucking attraction. man when i say#i wish i was straight#“oh im supportive to the community” yet invalidate me like that? be serious for a second...#i fr wish i was straight and liked men cause GOD. living in a house w everyone knowing I’m gay#all my family knows... i hate how i never felt attraction to men. i just wanted a satisfying feeling but i just couldn’t. i was bullied#ALOT by men which is one of the reasons why i fucking have a hard time liking them. but no. would they understand? no. im gay whether you#remembering when i dated a boy and he automatically dumped me and i felt disgusting and he kept bullying me#lgbtqplus#lgbtqiia+#LMFAOOO SHE SAID IM “comfused” cause she keeps labeling me as bi
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softersinned-arc ¡ 2 years ago
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i'm gonna be real with y'all i do wish there was more backlash to erasing a character's canonical bisexuality than there currently is? like even if you're doing it to write a character as gay it's still shitty. if a character is acknowledged explicitly as bisexual in the text itself and you erase that to write them as "fully gay" as if bisexuality is a half-measure, that's shitty! it really is!
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