#Like I get a gripe could be he's a bit too obsessed with his dad | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bluegarners · 2 years ago

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i’m torn between “time time time” and “24 pound paper,” so whichever you’re more inclined to share about i’m all ears!

hellooooo kate!!! <3 and how about both??

so 24 pound paper is more or less what it said on the tin- dick asks bruce to adopt him. with one exception!! i personally have my own gripes about this specific trope about these two- i tend to stay away from this kind of fic bc it always strays towards the angsty "bruce never adopted dick and dick thought that was because bruce never wanted him and so he's insecure and sad and and and". don't get me wrong- i love angst! just not on this particular topic... so!! this fic is entirely meant to be wholesome and all about how bruce has always loved dick and dick has always loved bruce, and how bruce respected dick's choice not to have bruce's name be attached to his legally in a way that bound them as a father-son pair because dick already had a father that he loved dearly but now dick feels like he's ready to open up the topic for discussion again bc he realizes that john grayson will always be his father but maybe bruce can also be his dad too

it's still entirely a wip and i really only have a paragraph or two for them, but these were the sentences that really got me started on it <3

“I know we talked about this a long time ago-” Bruce feels like his heart is about to rocket out of his chest, and Dick must be feeling the same because the papers in his hands are shaking, trembling like lost leaves in the wind, but he’s offering them, giving them over, and Bruce feels- he feels- “But I thought we could talk about it again.”

okay so "time time time" is also a wip that really doesn't... go anywhere? i wrote it sometime last year, in the height of my witcher fascination, and i had fallen down a rabbit hole of jaskier headcanons and delightful fics that added a bit of angst into his world. eventually, i came to my own headcanon that i thought jaskier might have obsessions but little to no compulsions. his thoughts are his obsession- like, i've always thought about how jaskier is always running around, occupying his time with people, with writing, with so many different things that i started to form some kind of idea that jaskier liked to keep busy in order to prevent the tendency for him to really and truly get lost in his thoughts. in this headcanon of mine, i liked to think of jaskier getting so wrapped up in his thoughts (mainly ones of the past) that he would dissociate and lose time here and there if he's not occupied with his hands or otherwise. so! that resulted in this wip (which i'm putting below the cut bc it's kind of long and i dont really have any intentions of finishing it)

See, it goes like this: suddenly, he has time. So much of it. Abundances. The most time he’s ever had, probably, in all of his many years of living. The castle walls are long and cold, and Jaskier has time like he’s never had it before. When a life is filled with composing and singing, wooing and bedding, traveling and yearning, bargaining and pleading, avoiding and skittering, and then suddenly it is not, emptied and spilled out over the edge, life becomes rather overflowing with time. His hands are ruined as they are, and his lute is far away in the likes of someone’s campfire or second-hand shop, so he has nothing to busy his fingers with. He has no notebook or quill to occupy his anxious thrumming, nothing to properly rid his ever circling thoughts and discard them somewhere that isn’t in his head. That means he’s left with not only ample time, far too much of it, but also too many thoughts. Jaskier now has thoughts and time and fuck-all to do with them except to let them invade through his eyes and stay trapped behind clenched teeth.

See, it went like this: Jaskier has done his best his entire life to keep himself busy, away from his thoughts. He studied and worked hard, buried himself to his elbows in texts and scrolls and sheet music. He learned and received criticism, in turn teaching others and doling his own critiques when the time came. He observed others, observed himself, dove head first into what carnal pleasures of the flesh appeased him, what delicate sweet fruits of life satisfied his appetite. He chased after muses, throwing himself into the masses in the hopes that someone might catch his eye, or even lay claim to himself. He sowed and fretted over wounds and blood, journaled the color of a griffin's wings and the exact viscous consistency of Swallow. Much of his life has been devoted to the precise realities of others, far from his own, so that he might indulge in lives that are more pleasant or fearsomely less so than his own, for Jaskier has never much liked thinking about his life. He has never much liked thinking in general, no matter what his ramblings and countless musing might say, because when he thinks, he thinks in false circles and misshapen lines, broken off segments that he pieces together with other loose lines and fragments that don’t quite fit.

But now, Jaskier does nothing but think. He has not the strength nor fortitude to build up the walls of Kaer Morhen, and the Witchers have expressed ill gratitude to his unhelpful chatter and presence. Ciri is never not busy, countless lessons and more lessons dogging her every breathing moment, and were it not for the girl herself to declare she does not mind the schedule and actually enjoys it, Jaskier would have already stolen her away so that he might regale her with court stories and songs. But he dare not, knows her destiny is none forged in more than blood and the will of others, and every second that he might take from her, from her destiny, is one where he condemns her. And he has never wished to harm anyone in such a way.

Blessings. Godsdamn the blessings. His mother said that once, cursing her bastard son, and Geralt had also said something of the sort. He is not a blessing. He is not a curse. However, and this is where things get tricky, all have muttered that his ceasing might just lead to a blessing. Does that make him an omen, a propehcy? But, oh, those things are so fickle, so oft to lead to tragedy and misunderstandings, and nothing like a blessing. So it might very well be that he is actually nothing, not a curse or omen or prophecy, and that his being gone might also just be nothing. His mother damned him and the man that fathered him. Geralt damned him on the mountain, called forth the gods to give him at least one thing he might be granted in all of his miserable years. Godsdamn the blessings and all who ask for it.

But, really, he has no legs to stand on in the matter, for what has he ever asked for that has not led to the sufferings of someone else? Oh, how his mother loathed him and his father side-eyed the blueness in his son’s gaze. Oh, how his fellow students scorned and spurned his aptitude. Oh, how the barmaids and stable boys and all the beauties of the world spat at his feet when he could only love them for a night. Oh, how Geralt scowled and snarled and wished for a single blessing.

on and on and completely circular in jaskier’s self loathing and memory cycle

He finds himself losing time. Odd, since he has so much of it. It slips through his hands though, even as he bathes in it, and one day, as he lays in his bed and stares at the ceiling, he thinks about his mother and what he might’ve done to ensure he would not have been a bastard had he just known what to do to not be one, and suddenly, daylight is at his window and his eyes are dry and his head achy. Daylight is at his window, and it is strong daylight, yellow and peppered with the shadows of winter clouds rolling over the mountain. The fire in his room has long since died, embers and ash completely still in the grate, and Jaskier’s lips itch.

It happens again, when he goes to the sparse library and chooses a random book, sitting himself down in a chair and thinking about how the tale he’s chosen reminds him of the stable boy that spat at him come the morning after of their evening together, and he blinks and finds that his eyes are dry again and his head achy and his lips itchy and his right index finger scabbing over from a paper cut he doesn’t remember getting.

The days go by and Jaskier does not register them as days any longer. He lapses, often and without notice, and he suddenly realizes he does not know the date or time. There is no way to tell, and he finds himself unable to ask, unwilling to bother or burden any one of the six other people within Kaer Morhen’s walls. Not when the mere thought sends him spiraling down yet another warped memory, too faded to really recall but within his mind and trapped all the same.

He misses meals, sometimes. Most often breakfast. No one makes a move to confront him about this development. Jaskier does not know what to think of this, but he supposes it doesn’t matter too much seeing as he’s already so preoccupied in thinking of so many other things. The blisters on his hands heal slightly, hot red scars numbing the tips of his fingers and cramping his palm, and were he not already trying to not think about the pain and the fire and the heat, Jaskier would have surely thought about his imprisonment and his torture. As it is, however, he is simply much too busy thinking to really give much thought to it.

Enough time spills from his hands that he begins to smell. He takes note of it absently one evening, occupied as he is with his forehead against the rough stone wall and his ever evolving plan on how to prove to the Countess that he’s not a worthless harlot after all, and the smell of his own odor reaches his nose. It’s not quite rank, not enough to really give anyone reason to cover their face with their hands, but it is odd. At some point, Jaskier is sure he would have had the time to wash and take care of the odor, exchange his clothes for new ones and soap out the oil and grime from his hair, but, as it is, his plans are far too complicated and growing to stop thinking now. He’s too busy to take the time to wash.

#wip tag game #thychesters #dick grayson #bruce wayne #the witcher #jaskier

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sammy-is-not-smiley · 2 years ago

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ok since you were looking for fic requests i have one for a robin x reader!!

reader is hoppers daughter. she dated jonathan for the entirety of freshman year. they broke up but it wasn’t bad. hopper keeps saying how good of a kid he was and how the reader should just get back with him. little does he know, she just wants to be with robin. so one day, she slips a confession note into robins trumpet case to meet her in the janitors closet after school. it goes well and they kiss a little ehe. maybe a part two or in the end she introduces robin as her girlfriend and hopper being confused but supportive 👀

Salty, Then Sweet

Robin Buckley x fem!reader

S4 SPOILER FREE

Summary: After going through the summer of 85' with Steve and Robin, you've had feelings develop for Robin. Now, after a sleepover with her, you suddenly felt the strong urge to confess your feelings. Could she love you too?

Word count: 5.1k

Warnings/tags: Underage drinking, language, PTSD, nightmares, nightmare scene, hurt/comfort, love confessions, Hopper is still in Hawkins after season 3, reader is hoppers daughter, gay kissy, timeline might feel off idk

A/N: I FINALLY FINISHED IT! The longest fic I've finished yet. This one was a lot of fun to write, I hope it's what you were imagining. I went a little off the request and then back to it lol

Butter sizzled in the frying pan, making you jump slightly out of your sleepy stupor. Your father had the heat up way too high on the stove again. He would tell you he liked how the burnt butter tasted, but you knew his pride was just a pill too big to swallow. You sighed heavily and rubbed your eyes, trying to listen to what your father was griping at you about this time.

“I'm just saying, he was a good kid to ya.”

Oh. Right. This again.

He sloppily cracked an egg on the stove and thumbed at the shell. “When you two dated he helped you keep a schedule. You were never too out too late, always got enough sleep,” He finally dumped the egg onto the hot skillet, “And your grades definitely saw better days with him.”

“Dad,” You groaned, resisting the urge to let your head drop to the table. “I’m pretty sure you liked Jonathan more than I did, but can we not talk about him now?... Not this early,” You finished under your breath. You hadn’t dated Jonathan Byers since freshman year. The end of junior year was just around the corner and somehow your father still pressured you any chance he got to get back with Jonathan. Your family had a past with his, sure, from small interactions to dealing with the supernatural. But your father's obsession with you getting back with Jonathan was starting to get annoying. You wouldn’t tell anyone this, but deep down you had never felt any attraction to Jonathan.

Your father sighed irritably, “Fine, fine. My point is you’re staying up way too late. You never used to come in here half asleep like this.” He gestured with his spatula and flipped the already overcooked egg. "I get you're young but sleep is important"

"I know."

"I don't even know what you would be staying up doing."

"Mm-hm."

"If this keeps up, though, I might have to take your radio or something-"

“You ever think maybe it’s because I have nightmares?” You suddenly snapped, startling you both.

His spatula froze a moment as if he was taking a second to buffer. His shoulders then sagged and he continued his cooking. You watched as he put fresh bacon, eggs, and toast on your plate then walked over and slid it in front of you. You stared intently at him, trying to gauge his feelings through his expression. It was no use, he rarely wore his emotions on his face. He put his own plate down across from you and allowed himself to fall into the chair. Neither of you touched your food.

After a bit, your father finally broke the silence. “I didn’t mean for you to get involved in my work,” He muttered, guilt present in his tone. “.... What kind of nightmares?"

You shrugged, gazing down at your eggs. The edges looked burnt, dripping with brown butter. “Those stupid monsters… and the Russians… Having to run for my life, watching Jonathan or Robin die in front of me even though they're still here… Stupid stuff.”

“Don’t call them stupid, they’re normal. You went through a lot… we all did.”

You nodded, thinking back to the events of the past summer.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

You gave a weak shrug, flicking your bacon with your finger.

“How long?”

“Since I first saw one of those things in Jonathan’s house.”

You had been with Nancy and Jonathan when they discovered what they would later call the Demogorgon. You were right there when it somehow entered their house and attempted an attack. Lights flashing and heart beating out of your chest. Ever since then, your nights had never been the same.

“Shit… (y/n) Hopper, you need to tell me these damn things,” Your father chastised sternly, however, you knew this was just how he got when he cared. “I need to know when things aren’t good.”

You smiled bitterly, grabbing your fork. “If I did, I’d start sounding like the boy who cried wolf.” With that, you shoved your breakfast into your mouth. Things hadn’t felt good for a long while.

Your father leaned back in his chair with a heavy, unsatisfied dad sigh, then began going at his breakfast as well.

As you both ate in silence, your mind still lingered on just a few months earlier. You wished things could have stayed the way they were. Working with Steve and Robin at the mall was one of the best things to happen to you… until it quickly descended into madness once again. Yes, you all managed to stay together despite being kidnapped by the Russian government, but that didn’t make the situation okay. Far from it actually. To add to your trauma from interdimensional monsters, you ended up facing federal agent-level torture. It was the first time you ever felt true terror from the presence of other human beings. It was the first time you ever got beat up and bloodied. But towards the end of it all… It was also the first time you realized exactly what it was you felt for Robin.

While you wanted anything but for Rob to get involved and be put at risk, you felt better knowing she knew the chaos you knew was lurking in Hawkins. You felt better knowing you could go to her about your nightmares, which you did. Quite often in fact. Before your father, she was the only one you ever told. She was the only one you ever called at 3 am. She was the only one you felt like would ever answer.

As soon as you were finished eating, you got up and got ready for school. It didn’t take you long, the sleepless nights slowly forced you to make your self-maintenance routine shorter and shorter.

School hadn’t felt the same since all of this had started either. Ever since Will had first gone missing, tasks that should have felt normal… didn’t anymore. The feeling always hit you at unexpected times too. While walking down the hallway at school, during dodgeball, while shopping for groceries. You hated how that was no longer your normal and how fighting monsters was. You knew nothing would be the same and a sense of mourning for the past would come over you every time you remembered that.

---------

Lazily you stared at the blank chalkboard, mind empty, waiting for class to start. Somehow you managed to get to first period on time today, probably because your father had drug you out of bed for the ‘proper breakfast’. You could still taste the burnt butter on your lips.

“Hey, hey,” An chipper voice pulled you from your gaze. Robin sat next to you, a pile of textbooks thumping on her desk. “You got here before me! You slept better I’m guessing? I mean you didn’t call like usual last night. I hoped that meant you were doing better.”

The night before had been rough. It was one of those nights where you couldn’t close your eyes without seeing one of those monsters blooming their face of teeth at you. You could have sworn you heard one gurgling outside your window at one point. Guilt had kept you from grabbing the phone and calling Robin though.

“Yep, slept through the night," You swiftly lied.

She beamed, but it faltered as she leaned in and inspected your face more closely. “You got something on your face,” Her hand came up and wiped at the corner of your mouth, then she wiped it on her pants. “All good. Guess it was some breakfast I hope?”

“Yeah,” You nodded, fighting a smile, “Dad made us both breakfast this morning.”

She beamed once again, this time remaining that way. “Nice! Slept through the night and got breakfast. Look at you, a babe, and with your life together.” She nudged you on the arm, both the compliment and her touch making butterflies rage in your stomach. All you could do is smile in return, even if it was founded on a lie. “Hey, tell you what,” She continued, “Why don’t you come to my house tonight for a sleepover? My parents will be out late on a date so we can have a movie night! We have popcorn and fuzzy blankets-- Oh there's this one blanket I’ve had since I was little that's SO SOFT. No matter how much we've washed it, it somehow stays that way. I'm pretty sure if I ever go to college I would take it with me-” And from there she rambled on, happy as ever. You loved the way her eyes lit up and how her hands went crazy when talking about the things she loved. You were pretty sure you didn’t even get to tell her 'yes' to the invitation to her house.

By the end of class, she gave you a time to be at her house, offering to have Steve pick you up for her. You agreed considering he was the only person out of the three of you with their own car. With plans solidified for that night, you parted ways down the hall, to your dismay. You wished you had more classes with her.

The rest of the day was a blur and suddenly you were zapped full of energy as if her touch gave you just enough power up to make it until the end of the school day. Another failed quiz didn’t even bring you down like it normally would. Before you knew it, you were getting off the school bus and running down your driveway to hurry up and pack your things.

----------

Steve was in a rush to get you to Robins as he was already late for his shift at yet another job. You knew his boss would give him shit about it, but bless him for still pulling through for you and Rob.

You had scrambled out of his car at your arrival, just as eager to get to Robin as he was to get to work.

Your heart jumped in your throat at the sight of her when she opened the front door. Rob was wearing the shortest pair of bottoms you had ever seen on her. You'd go as far as to say they were boy shorts a size too small. It was compensated with a large baggy t-shirt from band, hand cut into a short crop top and exposing her belly.

"Hey!" She paused a second and leaned out the door. "The whore didn't bother to walk you to the porch?"

You scoffed, using it as an excuse to pull your gaze and instead look to Steve's car turning out of the driveway. "Nah, he's too anxious to get to his new flirting grounds." You felt a tingle in your stomach when Robin smirked at your remark.

Although snickering with her, you were deflecting the situation with humor. You liked Steve, he was sweet and a big dummy, but deep down… you were jealous of him. Jealous of how close he and Robin seemed to be. They always emphasized their 'relationship' wasn't a relationship at all, they were just friends. Strictly and forever platonic. It didn't change the fact you wanted that same kind of closeness with Robin though…. And maybe even closer.

"Figures," Robin rolled her eyes. "Get in here, make yourself at home."

You did so, kicking your shoes off and dropping your overnight bag at the door. As soon as you were unencumbered, she jolted and tossed her hands up in excitement. "Oh!! Did I tell you what Steve was able to get for us?"

"No," You shook your head plainly, smiling at her animation. You loved when she did that, even if it was mentioning Steve.

She grabbed hold of your wrist and drug you to the kitchen. Getting into the fridge, she reached to the back and proudly held up a bottle of tequila.

"Robin…" You whined, "We still have school in the morning, you know."

"I know, I know," She put her hands up in defense, "We won't get drunk or anything, okay? Just a few shots to relax."

You shook your head in disbelief, taking the chilled bottle from her. "Never thought you, the band kid, would peer pressure me into drinking. I think you're spending too much time with Steve," You jested, inspecting the bottle. Although once again, there was truth in your statement, you would admit spending the night watching a movie and drinking felt like a good plan.

"What can I say, he's clingy," She shrugged and took the bottle from you to set on the counter.. "Also I didn't know what movie to get so I think we'll just have Breakfast Club on in the background again while we drink and snack and whatever the fuck else we want to."

You nodded fervently, convinced she had somehow read your mind. "Let me change first though, I need to be comfy."

"Sure, you know where the bathroom is."

Walking past the front door, you grabbed your bag and locked yourself in the bathroom out of habit.

Once you were changed, you couldn't help but stare at your choice of pajamas in the mirror, comparing them to hers. Should you have tried wearing something more revealing? Could you have worn a shirt that figured you better? You about slapped yourself for getting insecure over something as dumb as your pajamas. Quickly, you gathered your things and yanked open the door, the only thing on your mind being shots.

When you got back to the kitchen, Robin already had the limes cut and ready in a bowl.

"Let's get wasted… but not," She elbowed you teasingly and began to pop open the bottle. You stared at her hands as she worked the cork off, slender and calculated with a dash of clumsiness thrown in. Her nails were painted but scuffed and her rings gleamed slightly in the fluorescent light. It felt like forever before she got the bottle open.

Right as she was about to pour the liquid into shot glasses, you stopped her. "Can you… just give me the bottle?"

She froze, wide-eyed at you. "... You sure?"

You nodded. Although surprised at yourself, you were ready for the anxiety in the pit of your stomach to drown in alcohol.

Hesitantly, she handed you the bottle. As soon as your hand connected with the cold glass, you tossed it back in two swift swigs, treating it as if it were water. Your regret was prompt as soon as you swallowed, your eyes going wide and coughs bursting out uncontrollably.

"Take a lime, take a lime!" Robin laughed, shoving the bowl of limes at you.

You quickly brought one to your mouth, although you were pretty sure it was too late, the desperation on your face evident.

"Damn, (y/l/n), never took you for the type…" She gawked at you, mouth slightly agape. It wasn't often you left her genuinely in awe of your actions.

You wearily tried to smile, but it caused your face to twist into a lopsided grimace, making both of you split your sides in laughter.

"Alright, fair is fair," She mumbled, swiping the bottle from you and copying your actions. The result was entirely the same, just reversed. You were now the one laughing at her as you pushed the limes to her.

The night went on like this. Against your better judgment, you kept gulping straight from the bottle. In between swigs, you tucked the bowl of limes and the bottle in some pillows between you both on the living room floor along with the snacks. The mixture of alcohol, popcorn, and candy sat uncomfortably in your stomach, but it didn't matter. The way Robin laughed when she drank was priceless. It made the butterflies numb the slurry in your stomach. You wanted to hold on to these moments forever. By the time Robin finally took the bottle away from you and back to the kitchen, you both weren't quite drunk, but you definitely weren't sober.

Before you knew it the movie credits were rolling and Robin was checking her watch. "Damn, mom and dad are probably on their way home." She stood from the nest of pillows and blankets on the floor and lifted her arms to stretch. The movement revealed more of her torso, her sports bra peeking out ever so teasingly. You quickly looked away before she caught you staring up at her like a freak. Little did you know, she already had and smirked to herself, cheeks heating slightly.

"We gotta be in bed by the time they get here or they'll be pissed. Ya know, school night and all," She mocked goofily.

You cleaned the living room and kitchen together and managed to finish up just as a pair of headlights appeared in the driveway. You both dashed up the stairs, racing to the bedroom together prudently. The front door opened just as you closed her bedroom door, making you both giggle like a couple of middle schoolers. In all honesty, her parents wouldn't have been all that upset if you two were still up. But it was still fun to make a harmless game out of it.

When the lights went out, you fell into a night of sleep faster than you had in months. Although you were sure the alcohol helped, you felt the safest sleeping next to Robin in the bed. Knowing she was right there made all your worries fade into the background, barely seen or noticed.

----------

It's so cold.

"Keep running!" A voice screamed at you from behind.

Something galloped behind you in hard impending steps. It was getting closer… And it felt like it had been for a while.

You sprinted through the woods, terror powering every stride you took. You couldn't bring yourself to glance back, for fear you'd catch sight of the creature pursuing you and the other person with you.

Your head throbbed, blood pulling through your veins at an alarming rate. You didn't know where you were, which filled you with even more dread.

Branches and bushes clawed at your skin like fingernails, leaving burning scratches in their wake.

The creature behind you roared, the sound rumbling deep into your gut. An approaching doom that was so close, yet somehow it hadn't arrived yet.

Suddenly a scream ripped through the air and reverberated down your spine.

Skidding to a stop, you looked behind you for the first time. A stiff body lay on the ground as a demodog feasted on the ripped-open belly. Blood. Blood was everywhere. On the leaves, the body, the demodog's face, your shoes, the trees… everything suddenly now sheened with fresh blood.

You watched helplessly as the limp body began to slowly turn its head to you and you fell to your knees in anguish.

Robin.

Robin was being eaten alive.

"Please…" She pleaded in a broken sob, however, her face showed no emotion as if she had already passed on.

You felt yourself breaking down on the inside, tears freely streaming down your face. Why didn't you reach for her behind you? Why did you leave her instead of running side by side? This was your fault. You were the reason for her suffering. You lost her because of your own selfishness.

"I'm sorry," You tried to cry out to her, but the words wouldn't form. Your throat felt like it was closing up. It stung and the breath was stolen from your lungs.

"Please…" She croaked again, blood beginning to leak from her eyes resembling the cruel form of tears. "(Y/n)..." Your name echoed from her in barely a whisper.

Your weeping was uncontrolled now and you attempted lamely to crawl to Robin’s aide.

The demodog suddenly stopped and trained its attention onto you. Although it had no eyes, you could have sworn it was looking into your very soul. Like it knew your guilt.

It gurgled and chittered menacingly, blood oozing from its odd lips in thick, viscous drips. It stepped over Robins's body, stopping and standing over her as if she were its property.

Its mouth blossomed wide in rows of teeth, Robins's flesh and blood splattering forward to the ground. A roar bellowed deep from within it, making the trees around you tremble in some sort of earthquake.

"(Y/n), please!!" Robin's voice screamed out at you. "Please, wake up!!"

The demodog lunged forward at you at terrifying speed.

"Wake up!!"

You awoke with a violent jolt, nearly tumbling off the side of the mattress you were on. Your eyes were suddenly no longer closed but wide open, darting around you for any sign of danger. Before you could get up from the bed and try to run, as was usually your first inclination after a nightmare, you felt the pressure of someone sitting on top of you at the waist. A pair of warm hands caressed your face at the sides, forcing you to look straight up at who had pinned you down.

Robins horrified but compassionate face looked down at you, her shoulders heaving in breaths as quick as yours.

"Oh thank God you're awake," She muttered, swiping your cheek with her thumb. It was cold and wet. Tears. "You started sobbing in your sleep."

The fear subsided slightly and the emotions came flooding in full force. It was all a nightmare… None of it had been real. "Oh god," You choked out, bringing your trembling hands up to her wrists. "Rob, th- that was… The worst one. That was the worst yet," You couldn't hold anything back, you couldn't stop the tears from flowing. She was okay. She wasn't dead because of you.

"Shit," She let out in a breath, then leaned down, pressing her body weight completely onto you in a type of hug.

You wrapped her in your arms and squeezed, both relieved she was okay and terrified of thinking of ever losing her. You tucked your nose into her shoulder, sobs racking your body in brutal tremors. She was so warm.

"I’m right here… I’m here…I thought they were getting better," She said nearly in a whisper. You felt her slide her hand to the back of your head and begin stroking it soothingly with her fingertips.

"They never were," You confessed in messy uneven breaths.

And that's where she left it. She didn't say another word to you that night, but you didn't need her to. The fact that she stayed there, pressing herself to you like a weighted blanket was enough. The pattern of her breathing was enough, the clean smell of her shirt was enough, the way her hair tickled your face was enough. Under her, you slowly could distance yourself from the images of the nightmare and you felt safer and safer. Only that way were you able to finally calm down and gradually let yourself fall into another slumber, tears still wet on your face.

----------

Beep beep beep beep

Robin's morning alarm… Right. You both still had school.

Your heavy eyes broke open to meet Robin's sleeping face mere inches from yours. Although no longer on top of you, she still had you pulled to her body by the waist, legs in a tangled mess.

You leaned over and hit snooze on her alarm clock, thankful Rob was one of the heaviest sleepers you had ever met.

The pillow cradled your head again and you lay there, staring at her lovingly. You watched her eyes lightly flutter in her sleep, her eyelashes thick and perfect. Her hair was an absolute bird's nest and it made you snicker to yourself. Then the events of the night before surfaced in your mind.

You had woken her up with your nightmare. God, it must have been really bad to have woken her up. Shame hollowed into a pit in your stomach and you pulled away from her touch.

You weren't sure how much longer you could take this. The nightmares weren't the only thing that had been eating you up inside for months. Every day your chest ached over Robin. Every day you wondered if today would be the day you would say something. It never was, but it was getting harder to keep it that way.

You loved her… and you wondered if maybe she could love you too.

After the night before, feeling her intimate touch when you were at your worst… hearing her lovely voice in your ear to ground you again… you knew you couldn't keep how you felt a secret anymore. Something had to be done. That felt like the breaking point.

You untangled your legs from hers and got up to begin getting ready for the school day. You were going to let Robin sleep a little longer, considering you kept her up the night before. The only thing keeping you going that morning was the fact that you could walk to first period together.

----------

Your bedroom door creaked open behind you and was paired with a quiet knock. "Hey, kid, how was Robins the other night?" Your father asked.

You paused your writing at your desk and didn't turn to look at him. "Good."

"Good, good… Sorry I had to work so late last night." It was quiet for a moment. "You… have any nightmares at her place?"

"No," You lied.

"Oh… really?"

“Really,” You nodded. Only then you turned to look at him. "She makes me feel safe, dad." You weren't going to try and hide everything from him…. Considering you were going to hide the note you were writing from him, you had to let some truth slip. Half-truths were going to have to be the compromise to keep your conscience quiet.

Your father simply nodded back at you, then told you he was heading out for work early that morning. You weren’t convinced he was fully appeased with your conversation with him, but you had other things on your mind to think about.

After his leave, you continued your writing.

Your hand ached as you wrote everything in a note. When the feelings started, the jealousy of Steve, the fear you had deep down that the feelings could ruin your friendship with her, her presence in the nightmares, your nightmare at her house, all of it. Nothing was held back. Once it was all written out and physically there in front of you… It scared you. But you weren't going to let that dampen the determination you felt to get this over with.

You asked her at the end to meet you in the alleyway next to the running track as soon as she was done with band practice. Once she knew everything, you needed to talk to her face to face. It felt like the final battle. The most telling moment.

After that, you let your pencil hover over the bottom line, hesitating to sign the note. In the end, you decided the leave it unsigned. All you could imagine was the worst-case scenario. The look of disgust Robin could have when she read it. You trusted she would know it was you based on the context and that she wouldn’t spread rumors. But if someone else were to find the note, you didn't want it to be traced back to you. This information had the potential to ruin the rest of high school for you both.

Tentatively, you folded the note and slid it into an envelope, sealing it with an ice cream cone sticker. It felt fitting.

Checking the time once you were done, you grabbed your things and went out to wait for the bus.

----------

At the end of the school day, you snuck into Robins's band practice in the gym, scouring for her trumpet case. You recognized it immediately and quickly slipped the note into it, heart beating loudly in your ears.

As quietly as you snuck in, you snuck out and made your way outside to the alleyway. You pressed your back to the cold brick and slid down, picking at your nails anxiously for her arrival.

You hoped the band director wouldn’t keep them long that day. The last thing you needed was to be sitting out there until dark or something. You missed the bus for this, so walking home in the cold at night was definitely a possibility. Sure, you could call your father, whether at the police station or at home depending on the time, but you knew he would drill you with questions as to why you were at school so late. You didn’t have the mental energy for an interrogation like that.

Before long, you heard the gravel crunching under the steps of someone approaching to your left. Too nervous to look, you kept your eyes trained on your hands in front of you. Behind them, a pair of beat-up red converse came to a stop. The person wearing them didn’t say anything, but you knew exactly who it was. Sheepishly, you raised your eyes up to meet Robin’s staring down at you. She offered a sympathetic smile and lifted the piece of paper with your handwriting on it. However, she didn’t say a word.

You raised your brow at her. “What do you want me to say?”

“Can you stand up?”

A sigh pushed out of you and begrudgingly you stood from the ground to face her. You hugged yourself, telling yourself it was because of the cold.

Robin shifted the paper in her hands and looked down at it, her expression unreadable. She was quiet, and that was out of the norm.

“I meant all of it,” You vacillated quietly, the silence between you both feeling too tense.

She nodded. “I know…” She looked up at you, eyes softening. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course-” You were cut off by her body crashing into yours, pushing you against the brick, and her lips meeting yours. For a moment you went wide-eyed, but it didn’t take long for you to close your eyes and melt into the kiss. You felt like you were spinning as her lips fitted perfectly to yours, dancing together in a choreography that only you two knew. Her hands snaked around your waist, the letter falling to your feet and your hands found themselves weaving into her hair, pulling her face to yours as if you two could get any closer.

She was the first to pull away, warm breaths tickling your cold face. If your cheeks hadn’t been rosy before, they definitely were now.

“Did that make sense?” She whispered after a moment, a worried smile growing on her face.

You smiled back and put your forehead to hers as you cradled her cheeks. “Absolutely,” You giggled. “And I loved every word.”

#robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x fem!reader #robin buckley x you #robin buckley x y/n #robin buckley x female reader #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things robin buckley #robin stranger things #robin buckley fanfiction #robin buckley hurt/comfort #robin buckley fic #request #hoppers daughter #reader is hoppers daughter #stranger things x reader

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mackenzielovee · 3 years ago

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Hi, I loved crazy love. Literally I become obsessed, so I was wondering if you could write something about them when they are moving to their new apartment near to college and both of their families are helping them to have everything in order, but Rafe only want them to leave to be all alone with you in their new home. Maybe a little bit of smut?

a/n: this idea had my heart bc i'd really been wanting to write something like this ;) i hope you enjoy! thanks so much for the request!

Warnings: swearing, smut, mentions of planned pregnancy, discussion of sex

crazy love masterlist

my writing

our home: crazy love blurb - rafe cameron

"No, no a little to the left. Ward, are you listening to me?"

You sigh as you set the very last box down on the kitchen counter, stealing a glance at Rafe, who is sitting on your new couch. His head is in his hands as he listens to his parents bicker back and forth, trying to hang up the painting they had bought the two of you. Rose had gushed over it when she bought it, telling you it would match the rest of your decor perfectly.

"Of course, darling. You're talking loud enough," Ward gripes, shifting the painting to the left as Rose demands.

"Oh, come on, now. Back over to the right-"

"It's straight!" Rafe raises his voice, standing up from the couch.

You inhale sharply and step into the living room of your new apartment, wrapping an arm around him to try and calm him down. Ever since his parents and Wheezie arrived with the moving truck to help you both, he's been on edge. When your parents showed up with Macy, you thought he was about to go into cardiac arrest.

"Actually, I think it might just be straight," Rose nods, "Good eye, Rafe."

"Thanks so much," he remarks sarcastically.

"Hey," you whisper to him, trying to tell him to quit being mean to his step-mom, "They're here to help, remember?"

Rafe rolls his eyes, "I could do this shit myself."

"Because you're such a handy man?" you snort.

Rafe clenches his jaw as he looks down at you, but can't help the smirk on his face. He pulls you closer to him, leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Where did Macy and Wheezie go? They should start on those kitchen boxes," Rose tells Ward, stepping away from her husband to look for them.

"We can handle the kitchen boxes," Rafe tells her.

"Y/N?" Rose looks to you for a final answer.

You glance up at Rafe only for a second, noting the look on his face, then nod your head in agreement.

"I like the kitchen organized a certain way, anyway," you tell her with a smile.

She nods her head, "All right. Ward and I can start on your sheets-"

"Y/N's parents are taking care of that," Rafe informs her.

Wheezie and Macy come tumbling into the front door, running past all of you and into your bedroom with your parents.

"What the hell are those two up to?" Ward questions.

Wheezie and Macy have become as thick as thieves, the best of friends, over the summer. One day, you'd shown up at Rafe's only to find your sister in her kitchen with Wheezie, baking away. Ever since then, you and Rafe have had to be extra quiet upstairs.

Rose and Ward step toward your bedroom as well, which is down a small hallway just off the kitchen. Rafe grabs your hand and yanks you with him, following the crowd of people.

"Can everyone get out of our bedroom, please?" Rafe grumbles, standing behind his father and watching your parents finish up making your bed.

Your parents had not been crazy about you and Rafe living together right as you both make the transition to college. You had cried, begged, threatened to not go to school, and even dragged Rafe over for a family dinner so all of you could talk the situation out. You'd never seen Rafe's face so red as the night he had to sit at a dinner table and discuss with your father how the two of you would be sleeping in the same bed.

When your parents found out that the Camerons would be financing your rent bill, however, the living situation had changed. Your parents hadn't realized how expensive dorm living is, and the thought of not having to pay for housing on top of tuition sounded like a dream come true.

Which is how you land in your new, empty kitchen, trying to hold Rafe back from killing every family member the two of you currently have within arms reach.

"It's quarter to three," your dad tells your mother over your bed.

"Macy," your mom speaks, "Get your stuff, honey. We have to get going."

"Yeah," Rafe perks up, earning the attention of his parents, "You guys should get moving, too. Y'know, lots of traffic, and Wheezie's got that thing early in the morning."

Wheezie opens her mouth to speak, but stops suddenly when Rafe gives her the death stare. She looks to you, to which you just shrug, and then turns back to her parents.

"What thing?" Rose asks her. Ward's phone buzzes in his pocket, earning his attention.

"Uh," Wheezie hesitates, looking to Rafe once more.

"Girl scout meeting," Rafe blurts.

You cover your face with your free hand to try and prevent Rose from seeing your laughter. You truly have no idea where Rafe gets this idea that Wheezie is old enough to be in girl scouts. Wheezie narrows her eyes at him, shaking her head slightly.

"Girl scout?" Rose questions to herself, still trying to figure it out when Ward speaks up, eyes still glued to his phone.

"Wheezie, get your stuff. You won't want to be tired in the morning at your meeting."

Wheezie rolls her eyes but does as she's told, making her way out of your bedroom and down the hall to collect her things in the living room.

"Seriously, Rafe?" she hisses, "Girl scouts? I'm fourteen-"

"Shut up, Wheeze," Rafe says back to her through gritted teeth.

Wheezie turns to you, "He's your problem, now."

"Oh, boy, do I know it," you tease Rafe, smiling with Wheezie. She laughs, but it's short lived when Rafe shoves her away.

"Get your shit," he mutters.

"Stop it," you demand, stepping in front of him and holding onto his forearms as they are wrapped around your waist.

The one thing you love about Rafe more than anything is how he always shows affection to you, even if your parents or his parents are around. He just doesn't seem to care about anyone except you.

"I want them to go," he defends himself, keeping his voice quiet, "I just want to be alone with you. In our home. I didn't realize that was such a difficult request."

You smile up at your fussy boy, dragging one hand up to his face to stroke his cheek. You can faintly hear your families moving around the two of you, but you're too lost in your own little world to think too much about it.

"Be patient," you whisper to him.

He smirks, "Will you make it worth my while?"

You give him back the same look, loving the way he smirks at you and allows his eyes to rake over every inch of your face and torso. It takes everything in him not to just grab you by the throat and kiss the hell out of you, only controlling himself because your dad is ten feet away.

"Don't I always?"

Rafe groans, trying his best to keep his composure. He has to close his eyes as he continues to whine, knowing that if he keeps looking at you, he'll be hard in no time.

"All right," Rafe says loudly, tugging himself away from you, "Thanks for coming, everyone, but we have a lot to unpack here. Dad, Rose, Wheezie, I'll show you to the door."

You snicker as you watch him attempt to lead his confused family out the door. You turn to your own family, giving hugs and promising to call whenever you can. Rose refuses to leave without giving you a hug, which pisses Rafe off, as he's gotten Ward and Wheezie out successfully and only needs one more.

Rose promises to send flowers, one that match the color scheme of course, and tells you she'll call you to check on Rafe, since he doesn't bother to return her calls. You give Wheezie a hug and give Ward a polite smile and wave from the doorway.

The second they're all out the door, Rafe slams the door shut and locks it before any of them can decide they forgot something.

"Ah, free at last," you joke.

Rafe turns around, licking his lips as he thinks about how you two finally have an empty house and he has you all to himself. No distractions, no parents, no little sisters listening intently at the door for secrets and drama. He eyes you up and down once, and when he brings his blue orbs to meet yours again, you know what he's thinking.

"Come here," he demands, but he can't help himself.

That boy rushes over to you, pushing you up against the wall in the entryway of your new apartment, kissing you as if his life depends on it. You accept his kiss without a second thought, allowing your hands to wrap themselves around his neck.

"Up," he mutters against your lips, hands guiding themselves to your waist as you jump up and let him position himself in between your legs, wrapping them around his torso.

He moves his kisses to your cheek, then your jawline, then your neck, while his hands relentlessly roam your ass.

"Rafe," you say, tilting your neck to give him more space.

"Hmm," he hums against your skin, not stopping or slowing down for anything.

"I really do have to unpack the kitchen if you want to eat dinner tonight," you tell him, although you're fully aware he would never set you down for anything right now.

"Not hungry."

"Rafe-"

"I think," he stops you, wet kisses trailing your collarbone, "We should fuck everywhere. Y'know, break the place in."

Even though you two have been together for a while, him saying things like that to you always seems to send tingles through your whole body. He always knew what to say, what to do, to get you riled up in all the right ways.

"That would take us all night," you whisper, smirking because you already know what he's going to say.

"Fine with me, baby."

You smile, then reach down and grab ahold of his cheek with your hand. You lead his lips back to yours, kissing him harder than you had been before. He moans into your mouth and you know you have him right where you want him now.

"Kitchen first?" he questions, breathless, "Or should we mess up that pretty little bed your parents just made up?"

The raspiness in his voice gets you going, enough for him to notice you squirming in his grip. He grins, knowing exactly what it is you need.

"Kitchen," you tell him, watching as he barely nods before he kisses you again, carrying you over and setting you on the counter.

With ease, he removes your shorts and underwear, dropping his own shorts to the floor beneath him. He kicks all of the clothes away, knowing the two of you won't be needing them for a very long time.

"I can't wait, baby," he mumbles, excusing his lack of foreplay.

You shake your head, and he already knows you don't mind based on the way you're dripping onto the granite, "Please, Rafe."

He smirks and then grunts as he enters you, breathing out a sigh of relief that you two are finally home.

By the time you and Rafe even make it to your bedroom, he has to carry you because your legs can't physically function anymore. Rafe's proud of his work, but pretended to pout when he finished you off on the couch and you told him you needed a break.

He lays you down on your new, freshly made bed, moving the pillows out of your way and tucking you underneath the duvet. He climbs in beside you and molds you into his body almost instantly, inhaling your shampoo scent and perfume, thinking about how perfect this moment truly is.

"I can't believe it," he whispers.

"I know."

"Our home."

"Yes, it is."

You two lay there for a while, staring out at the tens of boxes that have each of your names written on them, just begging to be unpacked. You're sure Rafe's boxes will still be sitting there in two weeks, as he had packed a separate duffle bag of his 'essential' belongings.

"You know," he starts after a while, a devious smirk finding it's way to his cheeks, "The next big step is having a mini you. Or a mini me. But, I'd rather have a mini you."

"We just moved into our college apartment and you're talking about impregnating me," you laugh, as if to ask him if he's serious.

"She'll be so cute," he goes on, "A little girl that looks just like you. And she'd have your smarts, thank God, because she'd be screwed with mine. But she'd have my humor, of course."

"Of course?" you tease him.

"And then we'll have a boy."

"Wow, Rafe Cameron, you really just have this all figured out," you move your head up to look at him, noting the small, cheesy smile plastered across his face.

"I do, baby. He'll be a hellion, though. Never listening, always running away, but a total momma's boy. Never wants you to leave his side-"

"So, just like his dad, then?" you grin, watching Rafe clench his jaw and shake his head.

"Break's over," he grunts, rolling you on your back and climbing on top of you, "We're trying, now."

"No, we're not," you say forcefully.

Rafe rolls his eyes, "I'm joking. We'll wait until, like, junior year or something."

"Rafe."

"Fine. But the second you walk across that stage with your diploma, I'm putting a baby in you."

"Deal."

Tags:

@hollandsour @flowerkidlxrry @kookkyra @pogueslandia @sarahwasfound @fuzzyhumanpersontrash @rafecameronn @rafeswh0ree @outerbankies @morganwilliams

*if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist at any time, please send me an ask!

#drew starkey #rafe cameron imagine #rafe obx #crazy love #rafe cameron #rafe fic #rafe angst #rafe x you #rafe #rafe imagine #obx rafe #rafe outer banks #rafe fanfiction #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n

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volfoss · 3 years ago

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how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny

#asks #wholesome mutuals #vento aureo spoilers #to add that bruno is one of my faves of all time is probably obvious by me putting him at 10/10 #fiance bullies me lovingly for liking leone so that is explanation 4 first bullet #he has not even met him but just calls him piss man #the fandoms treatment of most of these characters makes me really mad tbh

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untitledtheunknown · 4 years ago

Note

If you could have written Kerry in 2077, how would you have done it? Characterization, quests, whatever you're willing to share. 👀💘

Okay so wanna say first I do enjoy Kerry’s quests, I just wish they were longer that’s my main gripe with things overall. I am willing to accept what they’ve done, I just want more of him because well its him. I’m also no game dev or writer, I write fics and come up with OCs, we make game campaigns based on what exists already. I can’t say I understand or know why certain things get put in and other things get cut so there’s that.

My biggest issue is the giant gap in Kerry’s timeline, went from 2023, Memphis concert in the 40s, to 2077. Some huge ass breaks in his timeline with no real reason why, and I can’t use things from the table top because 2077 doesn’t follow that timeline either. Samurai broke up in 2007, Kerry had a quite successful solo career from the get go, and in 2077 seems like none of that happened until much later on. He was writing Second Conflict with Johnny in the table top so it seems weird that its put out as this new album when he was talking about it back in 2013. I dunno its a whole thing.

What I would have done differently is much of what I already said in the previous post. My main thing is I don’t like how from get go he still seems 100% hung up on and obsessed with his image to Johnny’s. Like I understand from the outside looking in, tabloids and what not making that comparison to rip into him, but that’s not Kerry. Its not him. Without a doubt I wouldn’t put it past Ker to want to do one last gig, so all that could stay the same, but I feel like they could have done a much better job explaining where Kerry was mentally. Because when you read into it you see its not just about Johnny, that’s the surface, but it happens so quick its easy to miss when you’re caught in the stare with those blue eyes. This also in hand goes for River where they kinda got screwed out being able to naturally develop. The sauce is there, but its being eaten too quick, where as Panam and Judy have the main story quests to break things down and have things develop more naturally.

Quest wise I would have thrown another 1 or 2 quests in around the end. Maybe 1 more before the rooftop at Dark Matter, and another before Boat Drinks. They don’t have to be long quests, but something to allow more discussion, allow those feelings to kinda come in and show that there’s something more there. Because up to the rooftop scene Kerry is a flirt in some aspects, but that’s also just who he is, the romance gets packed on heavy and he’s confessing a lot really quick when its like a day ago V was just a wingman to arson and gunpoint demands. To me at least that’s a massive flip of what the hell, from both V and Kerry. So feel like shoving another quest in there to smooth things out, make the flirting a bit more obvious of hey something might be going on and allow that hesitant opening before a big confession later on would have just smoothed it out. Feel this would have also helped a shit ton with why he’s only attracted to male V. They could have built something out into that to make it more apparent instead of the shit show that was the twitter incident of “he only likes V for Johnny” and blow up that happens in his tag every month. Naturally developed romance scenarios can help a lot with preventing those kinda things. Takes the guess work out of it a bit, just saying.

Other thing, I hate the new ex-wife and kids story. I don’t know why they changed it, I was hoping Kelvy was going to be in 2077. Kerry aint out here winning any dad of the year awards, but from what I took in he was a pretty decent dad to Kelvy. The only thing I can thing of why they tossed that whole thing out was because again they fucked over his timeline. Kerry got married early 20′s and Kelvy was born awhile before the actual marriage. But she proudly used to name Eurodyne, she loved referring to herself as Kerry’s daughter. She was famous in her own right as a media, had her own show and net presence. I can only think she got scrubbed because the game she was in (v3 2020) wasn’t that popular, and again the timeline wouldn’t work for what we see. But I don’t get why they changed it to an aggressively failed marriage and him not wanting to be with his much younger children. I get why in how he is at that point in his life, but from the actual writing I don’t get why that was a better choice than just changing Kelvy’s age. Hell could of had her be a whole quest of rekindling a dying flame with her dad and finding out more of what happened. If anyone would have known some better insight, it would have been her.

Overall I think there’s good bones for Kerry’s stuff, I just wish it was more finetuned. Things did get cut, and feel like there’s a lot more missing than what we have found. As both a bias and a logical point he should have had another quest or two within his main run to allow things to develop a bit more naturally. I don’t mind him being at the end of the game but it does feel like he’s a ghost until then. My first playthrough I actually started to doubt he really was in the game until Johnny said “Hey lets go see Kerry” and I was just that motherfucker IS IN HERE OKAY. I also do feel that the stuff regarding his depression and attempted suicide could have been handled a bit better instead of getting swept away. This goes in hand with him probably needing another quest to just allow breathing room, but on the rooftop he is talking about some seriously heavy stuff and I swear to god if I have to hear that show saying “Rumors of Kerry’s depression was just noisy chatter” one more time Imma lose it. I don’t need details of what’s going on, but just something that its real. It wasn’t just a fad or a fake out. But because everything with him ends so suddenly and you get a drop of more in the endings and credits its just hard to accept that’s all we got.

I dunno, basically less about Johnny in the beginning. More quest time. Give him his daughter back you cowards.

#arguably I like a lot more than I have issue with #its not even that I dont like it I just wish it was slightly different #just its close but slightly off that it doesn't feel right #I will forever hold a grudge against Kelvy tho that I will not let go #she died in our camp but THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT #I loved her #Anonymous

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otomeramblings · 4 years ago

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My thoughts on Act 2, Episode 5

Yes, I’m incredibly late to the party. It took me longer than I thought to finally be able to finish reading Ep 5 BUT here it is! I’m gonna try to summarize my initial reactions and how I feel about the main plot points here both for myself and for anyone that wants to read them.

Long post under the cut!

One small thing I want to mention before delving into the big stuff: seeing all the boys starting new stages in their lives was honestly super heartwarming; they’ve grown so much both as individuals and together as a company (and as friends), and it was a delight to see it. As a fan of small details, I loved to see that the conversation Banri and Yuki had in “Into the Night!” (about him taking acting seriously and maybe going to college to bring back the knowledge to the company) was reflected in his choice of going to Veludo Arts University.

But anyway! There’s 3 main things I want to talk about in regards to this episode:

First up is Masumi’s arc:

Hooooo boy, I hadn’t been this angry about a fictional parent since we learned about Misumi’s family. I think the main thing that irked me a lot about his dad was how little regard he seemed to have for his son as an actual human being. Especially because of how hypocritical it sounded when his secretary said stuff like "Mr Usui is concerned about you living without a parental figure for so long" because we all know that Masumi has been living basically on his own for a long time and the excuse of "Masumi has only been living in Japan this long due to his parent's desire to keep his environment as stable as possible while they were married" felt super empty because yeah, right, coming back to an empty home every day is the healthiest way to raise a child, it surely can’t affect his well-being and his sense of worth in any way.

Masumi saying "I thought it might make them happy if i got good grades or did well in sports, so I tried my best, but...nothing ever changed" and the story about him begging his parents to come to the show and tell and his dad's response was just "Listen to your parents, that's all we want from you" was so heartbreaking. It made me incredibly angry but it also helped me understand Masumi as a character a lot more; no wonder he has attachment issues (which are mainly centred around Izumi/the MC) and his constant need for validation, he just wants people to be there for him and be proud of his accomplishments. He just wants a family but his parents were just too busy to even give a crap.

Also, in relation to Izumi: I think he still needs to learn that the obsession he has with her is not healthy (and hopefully one day he can grow out of it) but it's clear that he doesn't do it to purposely make her uncomfortable; he's misguided and he doesn't know how to deal and express the affection he feels towards one of the people that genuinely cares about him. Also I'm not saying that he doesn't have a crush on her, I think he does but he behaves this way because he never learned how to express his feelings in a healthy way and he's probably scared someone "could take her away" at any moment because boy hasn't he had to deal with people going again a lot already.

About Masumi’s grandma: love her, she’s a darling and she clearly cares for her grandson’s well being. One thing she mentions is that her son changed when his company found success, and like, I get that he needs to put time and effort to keep his company afloat but like. not even considering what your son wants and feels? Maybe talking to him every once in a while? Being busy it's not an excuse; your son shouldn't have to wonder if his parents love him. But this also ties to the end of Masumi’s arc when his father finally lets him stay in Japan: I'm glad that Masumi's father apologised and realised the error of his ways, it doesn't undo the years of loneliness Masumi had to endure because of it, but it's a start.

Final thoughts on Masumi’s arc: 10/10 would read it again for the feels. I really loved the depth they gave him and how they made him realise that Mankai (not just Izumi) are important to him because they’re his precious family and he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. One little moment after that warmed my heart was when Izumi tells Masumi that she's glad that he's been taking care of Tsuzuru while he's busy writing and he answers with "I mean, he is...family",,,,,,,,,,,I’m not crying, you’re crying. I hope we can get more moments with him in the future that are centred around his personality, his likes and dislikes, and his relationships with the other boys.

In second place, Chikage’s introduction and arc.

Let's see. I knew coming in that Chikage was a controversial character within the fandom and I knew the main reason why because of spoilers, but I didn’t know all the details. Also, something you should know about me is that I found morally grey characters interesting, so that made it so I went into this with an open mind.

Overall, I liked the episode and I ended up linking Chikage as a character well enough. But I’m not gonna lie and say that everything was perfect. The biggest issue I had with his arc was the way they handled his relationship with Izumi/the MC, especially in regards to the kidnapping. I’m usually pretty good at putting a dividing line between fiction and real life, which is what allows me to enjoy villains and morally grey characters; but as a woman who grew up with my mom saying “never leave your drink/food unattended”, seeing it done here and then having it go unpunished really left a bad taste in my mouth; because every girl grows up hearing this (and i know this is a problem that affects all genders) and it’s horrible because it has happened to so many people. So my biggest gripe about this part of his arc is the consequences, or more so the lack of them.

The only things that made it a bit more acceptable *for me* were three things:

This line from Izumi: "What Chikage's done is unforgivable. But I can't just ignore August's dying wish and Hisoka's thoughts on the matter." I have some mixed feelings about it but It just aligns with Izumi’s personality; she’s always been portrayed as incredibly selfless and giving, someone who’s ridiculously kind (to a fault) and who always tries to see the best in people and puts others before herself (and also because ~plot~ demands it, but that’s a thing with a lot of media these days) Do I wish she had been angry and wary towards Chikage after having been drugged and kidnapped? Yes, I do, it would have been nice to have a portion of the story dedicated to Chikage having to earn her trust back because what he did really was not okay.

Sakuya’s conversation with Chikage when he tries to leave after opening night and in particular these two lines from Sakuya: "This isn't about the play....for some reason, I get the feeling we shouldn't leave you alone right now" [...] "You're different now. I can tell you're broken and hurting. I feel like you've lost your way." Regardless of personal feelings, I think Chikage showed that he really was shaken by the weight of his own actions after he found out the truth. He knows that what he did was wrong and that’s why his emotions and all his guilt were crushing him all at once. He was driven by revenge and anger for so long that once he learned and accepted the truth, he completely lost himself. And seeing him have to deal with all of that made me really glad, because even if he’s not gonna have to deal with external consequences (aka having to deal with the rest of the company’s distrust, even though I wish he did), he still had to find a way to not only forgive himself but also to atone in his own way for what he did (aka putting down his walls, fulfilling his promises and making it his mission to protect everyone at mankai from the organisation)

Now, as I’ve been saying, I really wish Chikage had been able to tell the others the whole story about what he did and why he did it but…..we didn’t get that. What I am glad about, though, is that at least he told them that he took her away on purpose (even if he didn’t tell them how or why); also both he and Hisoka pointed out that anyone who knows the full truth about their lives could be in serious danger and that having Izumi know was already risky enough. And yes, that is indeed very plot convenient but it’s the bare minimum and I’m willing to give it a pass this time.

tl;dr I think Chikage is an interesting character that has a lot of potential and I have hopes that he will get some more development in future events. BUT, I really think they could have handled his arc in this episode a lot better.

Now, all that said, if you still couldn’t bring yourself to forgive or look past what he did and you still don’t like him: no one can force you to like him after the things he did since it can be very triggering for a lot of people, so remember that your feelings are totally valid.

In third place and in relation to Chikage’s arc, I also have to mention Hisoka and the development he got as a result.

The only thing that bugged me in relation to Hisoka was that even though I knew he couldn't because of ~plot~ (and probably because part of him is still unsure about what he didn't remember and how it could affect the others even if he did say that the person he was before didn't matter anymore) but I really wished he had told anyone "hey so like......Chikage said some weird stuff to me just now and I might need help" because their first 1 to 1 confrontation was a threat if I've ever seen one.

But yeah, other than that I really love that we not only finally got to learn about his past, but also we got a good foundation for his development in the future regarding his interpersonal relationships with the winter troupe. The fact that he couldn’t remember who he was has been a point of conflict in the past and this brings that issue to a close in the sense that he is willing to tell them (part of) the truth once he sorts things out. And I loved loved how the trust Hisoka has in them is the direct result of all the ups and downs that the winter troupe has gone through so far in learning to open up to each other. I know they said during nocturnality that they’re not a family in the same sense the spring troupe is, but I honestly disagree; they way in which they’ve come to rely on each other shows how strong their bond is.

#a3!#a3! spoilers #act 2 spoilers #kinda since i'm really late to this

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sdottkrames · 4 years ago

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@comfortember Prompt 15: campfire

Summary: Tony takes Peter camping to watch a meteor shower

Notes: I adore space. Stars and constellations are so fascinating to me!!

Fun fact: The Leonids is actually happening in two days, and I thought that was really cool, so I incorporated that into this fic.

Also: the song is Jupiter by Sleeping at Last. I've recently become OBSESSED and their album Atlas 1 (especially the space songs) have become my Irondad muse. So enjoy!

Read on AO3: Here

While collecting the stars, I connected the dots

I don't know who I am, but now I know who I'm not

I'm just a curious speck that got caught up in orbit

***

Make my messes matter

Make this chaos count

_________________________________

Tony’s concentration on the book he was reading was interrupted by a scream from his wife. Even though he was retired, he always kept the nanosuit close by (old habits die hard), and he had his gauntlet up in an instant, ready to fight. Then he looked to the window and saw what had made her scream.

He rolled his eyes. “Let him in, Friday.”

“Sorry, Pepper,” Peter said as he climbed through the window, but his laughter made it hard to believe his apology.

“Don’t do that, Peter! I might not have the heart condition Tony’s always griping about,” she shot a grin to Tony, who pretended to be offended, “but I would rather stay away from one.”

“Duly noted.” Peter shed his coat and sauntered over to the couch, cuddling up to Tony with no embarrassment. There had been a time that the easy affection between the two seemed impossible, and Tony was forever grateful those times were long past them. He put his arm around the boy, pulling him closer and picking up his book again.

“What’re you reading?” Peter murmured.

Tony showed him the cover, a book on astronomy and the physics of stars, and was surprised to see Peter’s face light up.

“I love astronomy!” he said.

“Really? I used to, but I started to hate it. For obvious reasons. I was hoping that reading about it more might make me hate it less.”

Peter hummed. “I probably should hate space, too, but it was always my thing with Ben. I guess I just refused to let it go.”

Tony could understand that. He’d never had any particular connection to space, just an idle interest in it as a kid. He’d started looking down whenever he was out at night, unable to look at the black expanse above him without seeing destruction and death. His experiences in the wormhole were soon joined by red dust and grey ash that seared his skin with grief and guilt. He had even started hating the moon.

But Peter was back, and Tony was trying to work through his hatred of and anxiety from space. Hence the book.

“You know, there’s a meteor shower tomorrow night. The Leonids. I’ve never seen one.” Peter sighed wistfully.

They continued their night as usual, but the gears in Tony’s head had started turning. He had an idea.

“What are you planning?” Pepper asked him skeptically that night as she got into her pajamas. “You have that look in your eye you get when you have an idea.”

“I was thi-in abou ta-in Peer sta-azing.” Tony was brushing his teeth, so it came out garbled and unintelligible, but Pepper spoke fluent Tony nonsense, so she understood.

“I think that’s a great idea. There’s that campsite close by that we took Morgan to that one summer. The stars were pretty spectacular there.”

Tony smiled at the memory around his toothbrush, and retreated to the bathroom to spit so he could talk normally.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. Just for tomorrow night. You can handle things here, right?” He teased.

Pepper rolled her eyes. “As if I don’t handle things all day every day.”

Tony kissed the corner of her smile. “You’re not wrong.”

***

Peter sleepily shuffled into the kitchen the next morning, grunting a greeting unceremoniously at Tony, who chuckled and put a plate with a pile of pancakes and some bacon in front of him. Peter perked up instantly at the prospect of food, and dug in with gusto.

“I will never understand how you can eat that much.”

Peter grinned around a mouthful of pancake, his cheeks sticking out like a chipmunk’s and forcing Tony to use every ounce of self control to keep from pinching them. He was sure Peter wouldn’t appreciate that.

“What can I say? I’m a growing boy!” Peter took a moment to swallow. “Thanks for the breakfast, by the way.”

Tony's amazing self control apparently didn't extend to ruffling Peter’s hair. “Anytime, kiddo,” he said. rubbing the kid's curly locks. “So, I was thinking, Pete. You want to go see the meteor shower tonight?”

Peter paused in his chewing, eyes wide with excitement and disbelief. “What?!”

“Well, I just figured since you said you’d never seen a meteor shower, and I happen to know of a really good camping spot, that you might want to go.”

Peter nodded, jumping up and crushing Tony into a hug, squeaking a thank you. The older hero squeezed him gently. “You’re welcome, bud.”

After finishing his food and putting his plate in the sink, Peter excitedly ran to his room to pack a bag for camping. It was a quick drive to the site, so they lounged around, watching a movie with Morgan and enjoying lunch as a family before they decided to leave.

Once everything was packed in the car, they were off. They stopped quickly at a grocery store because Peter insisted on hot dogs. Tony was more inclined to order takeout and eat it by the fire, but Peter had insisted on roasting hot dogs over the flames, and of course s'mores because “what camping trip is complete without s’mores, Tony?” Tony was quickly learning he had no self control when it came to Peter, so he ended up agreeing.

It was a quick drive, and Tony reveled in the easy conversation and camaraderie between him and his kid. He never got tired of just talking and spending time with Peter, and it definitely helped distract from the slight worry in his chest about spending a night staring at space.

They pulled into the campsite and Peter stretched as he got out. Tony let him pull out the tent. Being Tony Stark’s, it was no ordinary tent. It was huge, for one; Tony was pretty sure at least six of the Avengers had stayed in it one mission. It also had the comfiest blow up mattresses, and a built in speaker system that connected to Friday.

Peter took one look as they laid it out, rolled his eyes, and mumbled something about glamping.

“Yeah, I know, Underoos, this isn’t the typical camping tent. But I saved the world, lost an arm, all that jazz. I think I deserve a little comfort.”

Peter let out a laugh. “Mmmmhmmmm. Sure. Are you sure it’s not just cause you’re old?”

Tony gasped in mock offense. “Insubordination. I’m eating all your marshmallows.”

Peter didn’t look concerned as he hammered the stakes into place. “Uh huh, okay,” he grinned.

They made quick work of the tent, and even quicker work making the fire. Peter made it a competition gathering firewood, and Tony called him a cheater for climbing up a tree to get some bigger limbs.

“Show off,” he muttered as Peter flipped from the top of a tree, landing perfectly. “You’re like a cat, kid.”

Peter grinned, and they got to work making the fire. It blazed, warm and bright, and they roasted hot dogs and marshmallows as the sun sank lower and lower in the sky.

“Oh, Tony, look!”

Tony glanced up just in time to see a star streak across the sky, and he couldn’t help but notice it’s beauty despite how his heart started thumping in his ears.

A hand slipped into his, stemming the panic.

“You’re here. You’re okay,” Peter whispered, and Tony took a shaky breath. “Did you know that shooting stars are little bits of debris from outer space? They enter the atmosphere and burn up. Sometimes they end up falling to the ground, but usually they just burn and disappear.”

Tony nodded. He had read that somewhere as a kid. Peter pointed to a group of stars.

“That’s the constellation Andromeda. See that blurry spot in the middle?” Tony nodded again. “That’s an entire galaxy. It’s amazing how we can see it so well this far away.”

Peter continued to talk quietly, spouting off facts that Ben had taught him or that he’d learned from class. A strange sort of peace filled Tony as Peter's voice swirled with the crackling of the fire, replacing the panic in his heart.

“Tell me about Ben,” he whispered eventually.

Peter let out a little sigh. It wasn’t sad, more wistful than anything. “He was the best. You know this already, but he was the reason I became Spider-Man. He was kind, he cared about everybody he met, and he always made time for me. He was my hero.” Peter paused, and his voice went quiet. “He would have liked you.”

Tony sniffed back unexpected tears. When Peter first came into his life, he hadn’t known what he meant to Peter for a long time, but he’d known he wasn’t the kid’s dad and uncle, and he had been so worried Peter felt like he was trying to replace them or something.

“I’d’ve been honored, and know I would have liked him too,” he finally answered.

“You know, you remind me a lot of him. There was always a huge hole when he died, and you obviously didn’t fill the hole completely. Only he could. But you filled a different hole. You made it easier." Peter squeezed Tony's hand. "You still do. I’m glad I have you.”

All the fear, the sorrow, the worry, every mess he made and every bit of chaos that came with raising a child was worth it in that moment. He squeezed Peter’s hand, telling his kid thank you without saying it.

The fire crackled, the warmth washing over them and creating such a sense of peace that, combined with Peter’s hand in his, made it impossible for Tony to feel scared anymore.

And above them, the stars rained down.

#comfortember #comfortember 2020 #i love my iron dad and spidey son #mine

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nadiawrites14 · 4 years ago

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whagt the hell nadia has a creepypasta oc???

its october mf

wc: 3.6k

not very well written and a bit of a hot mess but still love this tall king <3

There was this kid at my school.

There was a kid at my school, and I just really need to talk about him. I think it’s something I need to put out there. I am talking about it because anyone and everyone I talk to seems to never remember his name, or him in general, but I can’t stop thinking about his face.

I was never popular at school, and my brother always outshined me in that fact. He was a cheerleader, and I was his nerdy, unattractive sister. His friends were never friendly with me, and it wasn’t easy for me to make new ones, so I mostly kept to myself. Besides a few nice classmates, I was a bit of a loner, and this led me to Charlie.

Charlie Nguyen had always attended school in my city. I knew of him — we’d never actually talked, besides nearly 10 years of attending school together. Come to think of it, I don’t think anyone really talked to Charlie. He was always there, a lingering presence, and seemed to get on better with teachers than he did with other kids. Despite both of us being outcasts, we never interacted, right up until recently. He just tapped my shoulder in the hallway once, shyly staring at his feet and asking if I would like to eat lunch with him in the library. Despite his crooked posture and timidness, he towered over me. I was only as tall as his shoulder. I had nothing to lose from it, really — it was more preferable to spending lunch with Ernest and his friends, so I accepted cheerily which made him very happy.

Talking to him, I was shocked at how much I missed out on by never bothering to strike up a conversation. He was funny, sweet, and a hell of a lot more intelligent than I had believed. I’d often seen my teachers slip back 70s and 60s to him, but in one of the library’s secluded corners, we discussed politics and art and existentialism. I don’t even know how we got into talking about philosophy and what defines the self, but by the time the bell rang, my lunch was not eaten and I was much more enlightened than I was before. It was like a lightning bolt. I told him I’d be glad to eat lunch with him tomorrow as well, and he seemed very appreciative of it. As I headed to my last class, I realized I forgot to ask for his number, but decided I’d ask the next day.

Something about Charlie was just so alluring. I didn’t know much about him at all, even after our daily lunches began — he was 17, from Fresno, and his mother passed when he was young. Half-Vietnamese, half-white, and he spoke broken Spanish and loved to draw cartoons in the margins of his notes. I found myself chatting with him through text past my bedtime, where we’d discuss our lives, our academics, our interests. One thing Charlie and I really bonded over was our shared interest in both Shakespeare and horror movies. He’d been enamored since he read Romeo and Juliet his freshman year, but Hamlet was his favorite. At the time, I was peeling through AP Literature with straight A’s and was much more concerned with Tolstoy and Plath and Camus, but his fascination with the bard was certainly something I could bond with him over.

I prefer the comedies, though. Midsummer’s Night, Much Ado, As You Like It. Charlie’s interest in the tragedies ranged from the general to the obsessive, where he would produce sermons and sermons of how much the words and writings spoke to him. Considering how much death was in Hamlet and Macbeth, his other favorite, it concerned me, but I passed it off as nothing unique. After all, he was also a fan of slashers and all things horror. He loved a good scare. Whenever I tried to coax him into visiting his house for a movie night or a sleepover, he’d defer, and I would glumly accept the sentence. Once I switched the proposed setting from his house to mine, he gladly accepted.

Ernest was a little bit less enthusiastic about my liaisons with Charlie. They had gotten into scuffles before. Ernest got a very stern slap on the wrist for pulling on Charlie’s crutch in the hall once, freshman year. I told him a week in advance, just so he knew to vacate the house the next Friday and allow me and what he so lovingly called ‘the creepy asshole’ to watch a movie together. Ernie huffed and puffed about it the whole week and it really began to get on my nerves. The entire week, he bugged me and demanded just what I saw in that freak. I excused it as brotherly overprotection, but as Friday grew closer, I started to realize that it was fear.

When he dropped me off that morning, I confronted him in the car. “Why are you so scared of Charlie?”

Ernie scoffed. “I’m not scared of Charlie.”

“You sound pretty paranoid when you’re dropping a curfew on me and telling me to not get too close or talk too much.”

“Well, mom and dad are out of the house, and I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Charlie is a freak. He’s... creepy. I can’t place my finger on what’s up with him. Esme, just tell me, have you ever left the room with a splitting headache when you’re with him? Has your phone ever started bugging out? Hm?”

I thought back. Well, a few lunches in, I did have such an awful headache I had to excuse myself from class to go try and throw my guts up in the bathroom. It wasn’t that, though, and it had subsided by the end of the school day. The back of my skull would sometimes pound and contract, but I didn’t think it was anything, reducing it to pollution or mold in the school. It always ebbed when I left the school. For my phone, it would get a little buggy. Just a little buggy, though! I had no reason to think it was Charlie’s fault! It’s not like we live in a world where that shit happens. He’s not some psychic, he’s a weird, lonely kid with trauma. That’s it. And I let Ernie know that by screaming an expletive and slamming the door on him, spending the rest of the school day with a headache tenfold worse than the one I had all those weeks ago. By lunchtime, my head was pounding so fiercely I almost slipped and fell down the stairs.

Charlie noticed, and asked what was wrong, a worried look on his face. I asked if we could postpone, and went on to talk about how awful my headache was. He seemed very disappointed about it but nodded and accepted with a smile. I felt so guilty about it, but it was quickly absolved, because when I walked out of the library with him I must have blacked out in the hallway. Charlie and one of the other teachers brought me to the nurse’s office, where my mother brought me home as I moaned in the backseat.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur. A literal blur behind my crowded vision and the blood rushing in my ears, but I do remember awaking in the darkness of my room at around 1:00 AM. The red light on my digital clock said so. I awoke to the sound of something like water boiling, or when a witch’s brew bubbles inside of a movie or cartoon. It was bubbling, dripping, wet — but when I pulled back my curtain, everything appeared dry. No rain, not even any clouds. The stars were quite clear, due to the fact that it was a new moon. Despite that lingering sound of bubbling and popping, I was able to fall back asleep. I don’t know how long I slept, but when I came downstairs the next morning, my parents (and an over-concerned Ernie) were adamant that I stay home all weekend. I accepted that the next two days would be filled with boring movie binges and cups of hot soup and tea, and I plopped back under the covers. My head began to pound every time I checked my phone. I noticed Charlie had sent me a few texts, but I didn’t have the heart nor the energy to check what he had said.

Sunday is when things actually began to get weird. The batteries in the remote for my TV had gone kaput, and I remembered that Ernie usually kept the same type in his desk for his old lamp. It was easier to walk across the hall to his room than down two flights of stairs into the basement. I knocked, and when there was no response, I entered. The lights were off. This was strange, because Ernie always loved to keep lights on. My parents constantly griped about seeing his outline in the window as late as 11, either from the strip LED lights that lined his room, the fairy lights, the candles, or the overhead light. I flipped the light switch and rubbed my eyes, as it was the most brightness I had seen in the past two days. Beginning to feel a tad nauseous, I took a seat at Ernie’s desk, trying to recall which drawer he kept his batteries in. As I searched, though, I noticed one drawer was shut from the inside, most likely from a heavyweight.

I should have just kept it shut. I shouldn’t have pressed. I should have gotten what I needed and left it alone, left my golden boy brother’s life completely alone. Then I could live knowing he didn’t have any dark secrets despite being a little bit of a bully and just a tad too standoffish. But, being the curious girl I was, I kept pushing until the drawer gave in.

Composition notebooks. The white smudges across the notebook covers had been filled in with dashes of pen, each one meticulously filled in. All five of the notebooks had this pattern. Blacked out, no name on the lines or any signage, otherwise normal in appearance. By that point, I should have known, but I kept going. I was once again shrouded in that same allure I felt around Charlie, the strange sense of being drawn in. When I opened the first notebook, I had to stop myself from making a sound. Every single page. Every single page in that notebook was filled with scratches in multicolored ballpoint pen, pleads and hypotheses and prayers. Drawings, maps, entries. The pages were thin from being worn down so deeply with the frantic pen marks, and many of the pages had been torn through from the intensity of the writing. My nausea grew and I began to feel my head pounding again. But I just couldn’t stop. Trying to process those frantic words written and dated and laden with tables and records and drawings was like trying to decipher hieroglyphics. Particularly, there was one symbol and one familiar figure that was retained throughout the notebook’s contents. An O with an X slashed through it. It reminded me of how I marked my bubbles on Scantrons, one line through, one line through, shade in the bubble. And the figure. The figure. A faceless man, a white oval of a face atop a suit and tie, and what looked to be tentacles pouring out from the sides.

I was snapped out of my trance by the sound of footsteps rising up the stairs. I dumped the notebooks back in my drawer, besides the fourth one, which I tucked in the back of my shorts and underneath my sweatshirt. Ernie looked at me weirdly as I exited his room, but I offered a weak smile and held up the pack of batteries. He nodded, and I disappeared back into my room.

It fascinated me, and it scared me. When the oncoming headache and nauesa had left, I scanned over all his words and entries, observing each of his drawings and sentences and deconstructing like a true AP student should know how to do. I always assumed Ernie was going to parties when I heard his window open and shut or when he warned me he wouldn’t be home until late, not investigating supernatural entities in our affluent suburban town and measuring sound waves through apps he’d downloaded onto his phone. I hadn’t known Ernie was this brilliant. It took me about two hours of reading and rereading that singular notebook until I had connected the dots.

A few years ago, our cousin Ronnie disappeared. Ronnie and Ernie were best friends, close like brothers, and were inseparable at each and every family gathering. What I knew for certain about Ronnie is that he also had a particular fascination with ghost-hunting. He went out on frequent escapades with his girlfriend and her brother with some handy professional equipment in the most ‘supernatural’ bits of California. Most of my family excused it as a strange hobby that didn’t subtract from Ronnie’s successful business career, not until all three of the ghost-hunting squad disappeared without a trace while investigating the Lassen National Forest. No DNA, no bodies, no signs or directions or a reason were ever found. Even their car and all their expensive equipment, all of Ronnie’s research, had vanished into thin air. It seemed he had become one of those ghost stories he so adored to pursue. It didn’t hit me that hard, as I hadn’t known Ronnie all that well, but I hadn’t factored in how much of Ernie’s personality had changed since the disappearance. He had become more standoffish with his rivals, more competitive with his athletics, more jumpy and paranoid.

I should have known by the way he looked at Charlie. I assumed it was drama I had missed out on or the pure perils of high school hierarchies. But I had never noticed how hateful, how accusatory it really was. For some reason, I was certain that Ernie had it in his head that all of these things were connected. The Faceless Man, the disappearance of our beloved Ronnie Halaifinoua, and the outcast at my school who was seemingly responsible for bugged out phones and splitting headaches. It made no sense, but at the same time, it was like a missing piece to a puzzle that I simply had to snap into place. I hid the notebook in my schoolbag, and went back on Monday armed with a bottle of aspirin and comfortable clothes, ready to confront Charlie.

At lunch, I took two aspirin and handed him the notebook wordlessly. We sat in silence as he slowly peered over the pages, absorbing the information behind blank eyes without a single sound. When he reached the final page, he set it down and asked, “Did you write this?”

“Ernie did.”

Charlie sniggered at that and crossed his legs. “Well, he’s onto me, now, isn’t he?”

I stared at him, slack-jawed, feeling duped. “You’re— you’re—“

“What, supernatural? I’d like to think so,” he gave me a mellow look. “Ah… you may want to take another aspirin. Watch this.”

I popped one and I watched. He closed his eyes and snapped his fingers. The lights above us flickered off, then on, then off again, before the lights reignited. Charlie opened his eyes, suddenly breathless, and nodded. “I can’t… usually do it with that much control. It needs work.”

I slammed my hands down on the notebook, my mind barreling at 100 miles per hour with a smattering of questions in tow. “Everything. Tell me everything. Now.”

Charlie folded his hands and gestured to the aspirin. I shook my head and pulled the bottle to my side. He cleared his throat, steadied his gaze, and began. “I wouldn’t call myself willingly supernatural by any means. I did not ask to be this way. I have been tossed through more foster homes in 17 years than I can count on my hands, and I would give anything to give up this life. I hate living a life where I’m unable to control my abilities. I don’t want to hurt others, I don’t want to do this, but sometimes it gets out of hand. Lucky for you,” he said. “Some people will gain immunity once exposed to it long enough.”

“Gain immunity to what?”

“It has a lot of names depending on the universe you’re in. They mostly call it the slender sickness, but you can call it the static sickness, faceless-man-itis, whatever. You do you. Headaches, nausea, hallucinations. Malfunctioning electricity. Static. The whole thing.”

“So it is you.”

“Always has been. Well, not totally. Faceless Man? The Faceless Man, as your brother says, he may or may not have touched my mother with his hand, therefore touching me as well and handing me a degree of abilities that I drag with me. It’s my cross, Esme. I’ve been avoiding his gaze for the past 16 years and have always managed to just be out of his reach, but my powers are getting stronger and it’s all getting more and more out of hand. I needed to go to someone.”

“Does he have a name? An actual one.”

“Many names. The Operator, the Business Man, Chernobog. Apparently, now, the Faceless Man. And I guess he’s my parental figure now. I’ve been chilling with him more often. Crazy dude, gotta say,” Charlie said, putting his hands behind his head and crossing his legs. “Crazy, crazy things.”

I looked at my hands, unsure of what to feel. “Did he kill my cousin?”

Charlie’s face went slack. “He’s killed many, many, people, but I don’t have control over what he does.”

We sat in silence for a long moment until Charlie spoke again. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

My heart began to pound. “Ernie’s after you,” I said, running a hand through my hair and letting it fall over my face. “I think he might try and hurt you.”

“So… movie night is postponed indefinitely, then,” he replied.

I grinned sadly at him. “Don’t make me laugh, this is serious. I don’t want you to be harmed.”

His arms dropped to his side, and he smiled at me. He smiled in a way that drew me back in all over again. “Esme, be here tomorrow. I’ll see you then.”

He vanished back out into the hall. I chose not to follow him. But, for the first time, I had a surprising lack of a headache, and I don’t think it was because of the aspirin.

That night, I slipped the notebook back into Ernie’s drawer. I think he may have figured it out, though, because when we bumped into each other on the stairs, we stared at each other for a good minute saying nothing. I believe it was my way of telling him which side I was on, because when he surrendered his gaze he slammed the door shut behind him and I heard rummaging in his room. I walked to school the next morning.

When I came to lunch the next day, Charlie was already waiting for me. He handed me a gift bag. “It’s a present,” he said. “For you.”

“What’s the occasion?”

“I’m moving. You might never see me again.”

“Oh, Charlie…”

“I say might. Might. There’s a chance we will meet again. Perhaps in another lifetime or in another universe. We can figure it out, alright? Alright.”

I shared my lunch with him, half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and we toasted to his new life with our milk cartons. When we left the library that day, our pinkies were interlocked. As he turned to go to class, I pulled him back, and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll miss you,” I said.

He hugged me. It was like hugging one of those plasma balls where your hair stands up when you touch it. I had just stuck my fingers in a socket, but when I pulled back, all I could see were Charlie’s grateful, glowing eyes. “I’ll miss you too. Goodbye, Esme. Goodbye.”

My hair on my arms was still standing up and my cheeks were dark with color. I had a mark on my pinkie from where it touched his.

Since that day, I haven’t seen Charlie Nguyen. Ernie is still doing tests and taking entries though they become more inconsistent and confusing each and every day. I have an idea of who’s altering his readings. The present Charlie gave me, though, might hold some importance for me in the future. It’s a key without something to unlock, a piece of quartz, his copy of Shakespeare’s Hamlet with all his annotations in the margins, and a pair of earrings with ghosts on them. Quartz conducts electricity. I remember learning that in class. I always keep it in my pocket now. When I ask my teachers about him, they seem confused, as do the other students. Ernie and I have seemed to make a silent pact as to not discuss the matters of the supernatural. I think he’s looking for Charlie. He’s looking for anything that will bring him closer to the truth.

I feel farther to the truth than ever before, but I know I cannot be far from it. It’s a matter of time. Ernie has begun to have headaches lately.

#AHGH charlie love u #i started writing this like 2 months ago and finished it on a whim last night #im trying to write as much as possible while im on this literary induced high #we will see #anyway enjoy charlie lore #my writes #charlie nguyen #creepypasta

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lovemesomerafael · 5 years ago

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Becoming Mike Chapter 3: Wherever Here Is

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Read it on AO3

Mike woke up the next morning and immediately regretted all the wine he’d drunk the night before. He knew what cured his hangovers, but it took all the mental toughness he had developed in the Special Forces to get himself out of bed and into running gear. He wanted to stay in bed and sleep for another five hours. Even more than that, he wanted to lay in bed and replay that kiss in his mind for another five hours. Instead, he dragged himself out of bed, popped a couple of aspirin with a glass of water, and hit the streets. Five miles later, he was a new man.

Physically, anyway. He still couldn’t get Sonny Carisi out of his head. In the shower, he imagined what might have happened if he hadn’t walked out the door when Sonny opened it; if he’d pushed it closed again and then been the one to back Sonny against the wall. It was different than what he’d imagined when he’d gone to bed the night before, but he came just as hard as he had then.

When the squad got a report of a missing teenage boy that day, Mike wasn’t surprised when Sonny volunteered to go with him to interview the principal of the kid’s high school. Mike had been looking for an opportunity to talk to Sonny alone, too.

They made awkward small talk for the first few blocks, but it was obvious what was on both their minds.

“So were you as hung over as I was this morning?” Mike asked, trying to sound casual as he approached the subject of the night before.

“I love red wine. I’m Italian, right? But drink more than one glass, and I always regret it. You don’t look like you’re hurtin’ too bad, though.”

“I took a run. It helps. You sweat out all the shit.”

“What, you wake up feelin’ like dog meat, and your first instinct is to run?”

“Hell, no,” Mike laughed. “It’s my last instinct, same as any normal person. But it works. Learned it in the military.”

“Well, no offense, but I’ll stick to my grandmother’s patented cure: Gatorade and toast.”

“Does it work?”

“Sure. I feel great.”

“I’ll have to try it. Hey, thanks again for listening to me whine. Appreciate it.”

“Sure.” Sonny squirmed a bit in his seat and looked out the passenger window. “So, ah… Are we OK?”

“Yeah. Yeah, we’re good,” Mike answered quickly.

“’Cause I been tryin’ to wait for you,” Sonny continued. “But there you were, in my apartment, and you were hurting, and you just looked so good… I couldn’t help myself.”

It was very fortunate that they happened to be sitting at a red light at that moment, given Mike’s instant head swivel to look at Sonny incredulously. “You’ve been waiting for me?”

Sonny blushed slightly and looked down at his feet, shuffling them and squirming adorably. “Yeah, I mean… I thought you might be interested, and I’m definitely interested, but… I dunno.”

“You seemed pretty sure last night.”

“Yeah, well, I had a lot of wine last night,” Mike thought Sonny had never looked so cute as he did with a fierce blush and a shy smile.

The light turned green and Mike had to pay attention to driving again.

“Anyways,” Sonny stuttered, “I just wanted to, you know… apologize, or… explain… I mean, I know it’s different for you. You’re the one who’d be in trouble if we… you know, dated. And I don’t know how out you are. I just wanna be clear here, because I like you. I’m interested, and it seems like you are, too. But I get it if you want to just forget it happened.”

Mike sighed lightly, twisting his lips as he tried to figure out what to say. “I don’t wanna forget it happened, Carisi. Couldn’t if I tried. It was… I mean, yeah, I’m attracted to you and I… really wanted to kiss you.”

He stole a quick glance at Sonny, still wearing that little smile. “Seemed like it,” Sonny said.

“But there are a hundred reasons we can’t… I can’t. So, it can’t happen again, but I’m glad it happened once.”

They shared a nice moment, just smiling at each other.

“A hundred reasons? I can only think of one. Maybe two. What are the other ninety-eight?”

“Gimme a break, Carisi. Reasons one and two are plenty.”

“Yeah. Yeah, they are. But I think maybe…”

“What?”

“Nothin’. It’s none of my business. You’re gonna turn left at the next block.”

Mike wondered what Sonny had been about to say, but decided to leave well enough alone. He wished he felt more sure of the reasons he’d given Sonny for not pursuing a relationship. He wished he felt more sure that he was even capable of keeping a professional distance. It wasn’t the first time he’d had a thing for a coworker, but it had never even approached the level of distraction or temptation he was experiencing now. And he’d certainly been attracted to other men, but this, with Sonny, seemed all-consuming. Mike was starting to become concerned about what could happen, because he was starting to become a little afraid of what he wanted to happen. Where Sonny was concerned, everything seemed completely new. Unfamiliar. Exciting and terrifying in equal measure.

Trying to locate the missing teenager ended up involving quite a bit more travelling than any of the squad were used to. Between the trip to a ski lodge in Vermont and another to a cabin in Pennsylvania, Mike had way too much time to sit and think. About Sonny, especially. But also about SVU. Olivia Benson didn’t seem to be very good at having a Sergeant. Instead, she dismissed his ideas and attempts to take some of the work off her plate and made him, essentially, just another detective. Which was not what he was there for. That thought naturally led him to wonder what his father was going to have to say about that. Mike wasn’t looking forward to a lecture on taking more initiative. Sometimes he really wished Matthew was around to shoulder some of their father’s plans and expectations.

The team did find and rescue the teenage boy two days later, but not before the pedophile wrestling coach had drugged and assaulted him. Worse, the case took a dark and nasty turn when one of the perp’s former students, another of his victims, kidnapped and tortured a confession out of him. Worst of all, the torture had involved stabbing the coach, who died in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. Which meant that the pedophile’s abuse had shattered the kid’s life and driven him to commit a horrendous act in a desperate attempt to try to reclaim himself, but instead, he would now go to prison, possibly for the rest of his life. The rapist never faced justice, and the victim’s life was now over.

Sonny took it hard. Because of who he was, Sonny was especially sickened when trusted authority figures abused that trust to victimize helpless kids. He hated seeing this scumbag coach get off so easy, and was even more incensed that one of his victims was going to be charged with first-degree murder. Nothing he could say to ADA O’Dwyer made a dent. He raged, he urged, he argued and wheedled, reminding O’Dwyer over and over that, with all his experience with teenage offenders, he should have had more empathy with the guy. Instead, O’Dwyer simply repeated that it was up to the jury to decide his punishment. Sonny threw up his hands, sputtering in protest, almost too angry to be coherent.

Mike put an arm around him and led him away before he could get physical with O’Dwyer. That didn’t seem like something Sonny Carisi would do, but he was angrier than Dodds had ever seen him.

“Get him out of here,” Liv growled quietly to Mike. “Give him a beer, let him vent, but let’s not have him punching out an ADA.”

“Copy that, Lieu.”

Had Mike had time to think about it, he would have been very hesitant to go anywhere alone with Sonny, particularly to a bar. But he found himself outside the station five minutes later, hailing a cab with still-furious Sonny in tow. Mike told the cabbie to take them to Steve’s Place.

For a very long time, Mike just sat and listened to Sonny. Sometimes vitriolic rant, sometimes near-tearful, frustrated gripe, Sonny’s outcry of protest was eventually exhausted. He got up from the small, high table where he and Mike had been huddled together for over an hour and went to get their third beers. Mike watched him, relieved that Sonny seemed to have been able to release some of the bitter rage he’d come in with. He couldn’t help but notice how Sonny moved, how beautiful his hands were, how the slightest hint of silver had started to highlight his hair at the temples… He was really insanely good looking, Mike thought. No wonder he was helplessly obsessed.

Setting the beers on the table and climbing back into his chair, Sonny said, “I bet you’re tired of hearin’ me whine, huh?”

Mike extended the neck of his bottle toward Sonny, who clinked it with his. “You did it for me just a few days ago. You warned me it would be your turn next.”

Sonny grinned feebly. “Yeah. I guess. Let’s talk about somethin’ else. I thought I heard you tell Fin you play the guitar.”

Mike huffed a small laugh. “Something like that. I used to want to be Springsteen.”

“No kiddin’. You ever play in a band or anything?”

“Several.”

“No shit! I play a little, too, but my biggest gig was playing the teen Mass at church.”

Mike laughed, enjoying the idea of Sonny playing the guitar and singing church songs with a group of other kids. Sonny, however, was fascinated to learn about Mike’s high school garage band, and the groups he’d played with throughout his time in the military. He was entertained, but more intrigued, by the picture Mike painted of himself as a tortured artist during his Hell’s Kitchen days.

“So what made you give it up?”

“It got old. The squalor, the messed-up hours, the drugs… I just figured I was ready to grow up.”

“You did drugs?”

“Nah. Smoked a lot of weed, is all. But I saw a lot of it, and I got tired of being around junkies. Mostly, what made me give up that life was just, I kept hearing my father’s voice, telling me I was never gonna be a success in that world, and I could succeed in this one.”

“His world.”

Mike shrugged. “I guess so.”

“You think you gave up music for your dad?”

“I don’t know. He had a lot to do with it, I guess. But it was my choice, too. I was done being dirty and broke.”

“Huh.” Sonny said thoughtfully.

“What, ‘huh?’”

“Nothin’. Just… What’s it like working for your dad? Personally, I find him to be… a challenge. And it kinda seems like you do, too, if you don’t mind my sayin’ so. Plenty of jobs in the NYPD. Why wouldn’t you go someplace else?”

Mike sighed, thinking. “He’s got this five-year plan. That’s what he calls it, his ‘five-year plan’. SVU is part of that.”

“’He’s’ got a plan. What about ‘you’ got a plan?”

“Meaning?”

“I mean, that’s what he wants you to do. Is that what you want to do?”

“Well, sure.”

“’Well, sure’,” Sonny mimicked. “I’m not buyin’ it.”

“You think I secretly yearn to go back to a two-room dump with no windows in the back of a fifth-floor walk-up? Working behind a bar watching hookups and fights all night long?”

“I don’t know. And, to be honest, I get the feeling you don’t, either.”

“Fuck, Carisi. You got some balls callin’ me a daddy’s boy.” The words could have been harsh except that he was smiling as he said them.

“That’s not exactly what I’m sayin’,” Sonny said thoughtfully, studying Mike almost as he would a suspect. “You just seem kind of… obedient, is all. I’d like to hear you say ‘I want’ sometime, rather than ‘my father wants’. That’s all.”

“You want another beer?” Mike asked, giving his empty bottle a swing by the neck.

“Nah,” Sonny answered. “Let’s get outta here.”

Did he say that with an invitation in his voice? What was that look? Mike berated himself, again, for drinking around Sonny. He was hard enough to resist sober.

It was starting to feel familiar, walking through these streets together. Mike thought Sonny seemed to be walking a bit more slowly than usual, and consciously chose not to ask about it. If Sonny wanted to prolong the walk, Mike had no objections. Nothing bad could come of walking together. He just wished it didn’t feel so damn good. He wished they were going somewhere together, instead of just walking together to separate destinations. He didn’t notice when his mind began to wander forward, to what it might be like to be heading back to Sonny’s apartment, maybe to kiss again-

“Are you?” Sonny’s amused, insistent voice cut through his sultry daydream.

“Huh? Am I what?”

Sonny laughed. “I asked if you were paying any attention to me. I’m callin’ that a ‘no’. Where were you?”

They reached the corner where Mike would turn off to go to his apartment. “Nowhere,” he mumbled.

“You OK?” The teasing note left Sonny’s voice, to be replaced by a note of kind concern as they stopped walking and Sonny turned to Mike.

“Yeah, I was just… thinkin’.”

“About me?” Sonny asked. Mike would have expected a different expression on his face. Flirtatious, or mocking, or something. But Sonny’s eyes were serious, his features open and guileless. He was honestly and simply asking the question. It was disarming.

“Yeah,” Mike said softly, looking into Sonny’s eyes, dark blue here under the streetlight. “I was thinking it would be nice if we could be going somewhere together, instead of home alone.”

Sonny didn’t respond, or move, or change his expression. Which meant that it was Mike who put his arm around Sonny and his hand behind Sonny’s neck, pulling him into a kiss. Sonny hadn’t started it, but he responded with eager heat. He tasted like beer, and Sonny, and sex, and temptation. Mike could smell his body, warm from the walk, a deep, almost sweet scent that made Mike want to lick him, or chew him.

When they came up for air after several intimate, promising moments, Sonny murmured, “I think I just got my wish. I heard Mike Dodds say ‘I want’.”

“Believe me, I want. But this is dangerous for both of us,” Mike warned, going back to kissing him with growing passion.

“I know that,” Sonny responded, his answer in his kisses as much as his words. “And I’ll take my chances, if it means I can be with you. But it’s your decision. We both have to be willing to risk it.”

Eventually, Mike surrendered as he’d always known he would, taking Sonny’s hand and turning toward home, walking in silence. On the way, Mike put an arm around Sonny’s shoulders, holding him close and kissing him on the temple, just because he could. Sonny’s arm felt warm around Mike’s waist. Mike felt somehow as if he had missed having it there, although it had never been there before.

Mike’s entire awareness was so full of Sonny that he had no memory of the rest of the walk home, or of unlocking the door next to the dry cleaner’s and climbing the stairs to his apartment above it. He pulled Sonny into his arms as soon as the door to his apartment was unlocked, and this time he was the one who got to press against Sonny, holding him against the wall.

“Shit, Carisi, you have no idea how bad I want you,” Mike growled into Sonny’s neck, finding it frustrating that he couldn’t both unbutton his shirt and press against his chest at the same time.

Sonny was clearly having similar thoughts, because he reached up and pulled his tie off in one motion, helping Mike with the rest of his buttons so that he could yank his shirt and jacket off together, throwing them and forgetting about them before they hit the floor. Once they had struggled and grunted their way through removing Mike’s jacket and shirt, as well, their bare chests were enough skin contact for the moment. That allowed them to ravage eachother’s mouths and rub against one another, moaning hungrily without regard to what Mike’s neighbors might hear happening just inside the door.

Eventually, Mike ran his hands up Sonny’s chest, finally burying his fingers in that hair, and looked into his eyes, panting for air. The almost sweet smell of Sonny, combined with the hint of musk they were creating together, made Mikes’ head swim.

“Babe, we should… We shouldn’t…”

“I don’t want to hear ‘should’ from you right now,” Sonny rasped, his breath ragged. “Tell me what you want.”

“You know what I want.”

“Say it.”

“I want to fuck you. “

“Then take me to your bedroom and do it.”

Mike kissed Sonny deeply and thoroughly before taking his hand and leading him the few steps through his front room to his bedroom. They stood next to Mike’s bed, kissing and unhooking first each other’s belts, then hooks and zippers, until they could finally touch each other. With hands wrapped around each other’s cocks, they stroked one another until they were groaning with need. Sonny felt like perfection; long and rock-hard, but Mike wanted this first time to last. He consciously tried to slow things down, taking time to slide Sonny’s pants and boxers over his hips and let them fall down his legs. While Sonny toed off his shoes, Mike quickly stripped off the rest of his own clothes and shoes, then led Sonny onto the bed.

Lying next to each other made it easier to kiss and explore one another, and the short break to undress and get into bed had allowed them to slow their pace a bit. Mike found himself looking into Sonny’s beautiful blue eyes and stroking his chest, trying to restrain himself from focusing on his cock. He didn’t want this to be over too soon. He was overwhelmed with sensations. He was as aroused as he could ever remember being, but his desire to fuck Sonny was matched by an equal desire to touch him, to stroke him and taste him everywhere. He didn’t just want to fuck. He wanted to experience Sonny, to be fucking him. It was a totally new experience Mike had absolutely no idea how to approach.

“You are so fucking beautiful, Sonny. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

Sonny smiled and pulled Mike to him in a hungry, invasive kiss, reaching down and taking Mike into his hand. Mike was spellbound by his caress, heedless of the sounds he was making, of the way he was saying Sonny’s name. He couldn’t stop himself – didn’t even try to stop himself – from rolling on top of Sonny, beginning a slow, deep grind that had them both gasping.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Sonny gasped. “I want you inside me. Will you…?”

Mike tore himself away to fumble in his nightstand for supplies, tossing them on the bed near Sonny’s hip and returning to kiss him hungrily, as though he’d been gone for hours. After re-establishing that Sonny was still there for him, still wanting this, he began to kiss his way down Sonny’s body, faster than was particularly romantic, and promising himself that he would take a long time to explore Sonny’s body with his mouth as soon as possible.

Sonny swore loudly when Mike took him into his mouth, eagerly tasting him by swirling his tongue around his cock while he took him as deeply as he could. Mike inhaled deeply the smell of Sonny there, in his most intimate place, dizzy with desire as he blindly coated his fingers with lube. He worshiped Sonny with his mouth while he rubbed the lube between his fingers, warming it up a bit before reaching to softly stroke Sonny’s hole. Again, Sonny almost shouted a curse word as Mike moved his fingers against him.

“Do it,” he hissed. “Fuck me…”

Mike tried to pay attention to Sonny as he slid a finger into him, wanting to be gentle, but Sonny was past that. He pushed down onto Mike, fucking himself on Mike’s finger already. Mike, balanced on one hand over Sonny’s hips as he finger-fucked him and sucked him, was near insane with need himself, especially watching Sonny’s writhing and hearing his cries. As Mike began to fuck him with two fingers, unconsciously murmuring his name, Sonny pulled at his shoulder, pulling Mike up toward him.

“I can’t- you gotta stop that – I don’t wanna come before you’re inside me…” Sonny’s speech was disjointed, his words crammed in between deep gasps of air and moans.

Mike obeyed, kissing and licking up Sonny’s chest as he slipped a third finger inside him, sliding them as far in as they would go and feeling Sonny pushing down to meet him. By the time he had kissed his way up to Sonny’s lips again, Sonny had reached over and torn open a condom. Mike removed his fingers from Sonny and lifted up so that Sonny could slip the condom over Mike’s cock. He could easily have come just from the feeling of Sonny’s hands on him, but gritted his teeth and managed to hold off, moving into position and pressing the head of his dick against Sonny’s pucker.

“You OK?” Mike grunted between breaths.

“Fuck, yeah. I just need you…”

Mike pushed into Sonny, feeling the initial resistance and tightness, but also feeling Sonny pushing toward him, urging him deeper. He whispered Sonny’s name yet again as he took his mouth, devouring his lips as he slid in and out, quickly beginning to speed up his thrusts. There was no way he was going to be able to do this for long, not with the gorgeous man beneath him stroking his tongue across Mike’s lips and making those unspeakably erotic sounds. When he felt Sonny take his dick into his hand and begin to stroke, Mike let himself go. He felt the first shocks of a volcanic explosion just as Sonny cried out and he felt the hot spurt of Sonny’s climax. Waves and waves of ecstasy washed over Mike as he continued to plunge himself into Sonny for as long as he could, unaware that he was groaning Sonny’s name over and over with each thrust.

Afterward, when they’d recovered enough to clean up and settle under the covers together, Mike found that he couldn’t hold Sonny close enough. He found himself kissing him wherever he could reach as Sonny lay with his face buried in Mike’s neck. Mike stroked Sonny’s hair, put a leg over Sonny’s and pulled his legs closer to entwine with his, and slid his hand up and down Sonny’s back, tired and sated for the moment but unable to stop… experiencing Sonny.

Another thing that had never happened to Mike before. He wanted to cry, and laugh, and kiss Sonny some more, and sing every sappy love ballad he’d ever heard. Love. Mike realized that this felt like the way the songs described love, although he’d never felt anything like this before. Was this love? Mike was mature enough to know that, lying entwined with a pretty man when his dick was still a little hard and the sweat hadn’t even dried wasn’t the time to decide he was in love. But he couldn’t deny that this was more than he had ever felt before. He fell asleep wondering what was happening to him.

He woke up with Sonny’s lips wrapped around his cock and his hands exploring Mike just as Mike had done to him the night before. Mike’s sleep- and hormone-addled mind wasn’t sure whether it was the best head he’d ever gotten or just the best wet dream he’d ever had. Whichever, it was glorious.

When he came down from his orgasm, he rolled Sonny onto his back and, taking time to kiss him tenderly, began to move down Sonny’s body, taking the time to do some of the tasting and exploring he’d promised himself the night before.

“You don’t have to-” Sonny murmured, his closed eyes and half-smile belying his words.

“Fuck, yes I do. Maybe you don’t need me to, but I need me to. I’ve been wanting to since the second I saw you. You say you want me to tell you what I want? I want to suck your pretty dick and make you come down my throat. That’s what I want.”

Conveniently, it was what Sonny wanted, too.

Although it was difficult to let Sonny out of his arms to go home and change for work, it gave Mike a chance to think. To process what had happened – was happening – with Sonny. Mike actually appreciated the normalcy of going to work and doing routine things that reminded him of who he was. Because he couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t quite the same man he’d been when he’d left the squad room the day before. It wasn’t just that he’d slept with Sonny Carisi, and it wasn’t just that it had been spectacular. He’d slept with other people, had great sex with some of them, and it didn’t change who he was. But something had happened to him, and whatever it was, Sonny was responsible for it. If he’d been concerned before about what could happen, now he was truly afraid. He felt like he had when Sonny had kissed him. Entirely in Sonny’s control, and ecstatic to be there. He’d been willing to let Sonny make him do anything that night. But this was his life. What might Sonny be able to make him do to his life?

The fear didn’t stop Mike from taking Sonny back to his apartment after work. Although he didn’t usually bottom, something made him want to feel Sonny inside him this time, and Sonny was more than happy to switch places.

It became easier to ignore the fear every time he made love with Sonny, which was as often as they could manage it. They were never really tempted to try to steal some time together at work, but that had little to do with the absolute need to keep their relationship secret. It had much more to do with the need to keep their sex life entirely separate from the hideous crimes they investigated, to avoid any possibility of the ugliness they saw at SVU seeping into their own lives. From that first night together, whenever they were both off work at night, they were together at one or the other of their apartments. It didn’t make sorting out his feelings any easier for Mike but, somehow, when he was with Sonny, he felt less untethered and afraid of whatever this was. It was only when he was alone, or with his father, that Mike wondered how he was ever going to get back to normal. It was at one of those moments when he had the thought that maybe, if he and Sonny kept having sex as often as they were, at some point he would get Sonny out of his system, and he’d be himself again. He ignored the voice in the back of his mind saying that so far, the opposite seemed to be happening.

After Mike and Sonny had been lovers for about a month, they were lying in Sonny’s bed in the position they most often took after sex, with Sonny lying in Mike’s arms and their legs intertwined. They had been forehead-to-forehead, looking into one another’s eyes, murmuring silly, affectionate nothings to one another. Sonny was trying to figure out exactly what color Mike’s eyes were, and why he found them so hypnotic. Mike was simply being amused, watching the way Sonny’s mouth moved and just enjoying being close.

At some point, Sonny’s expression became more serious, and his voice became even softer than the quiet purr it had been. “Can I tell you something?”

“Babe, you can tell me anything,” Mike grinned lazily, kissing him.

Shallow frown lines appeared between Sonny’s eyes as he began. “You know, I wanted you from the minute I saw you, and I wanted not to like you. But you blew past that right away, and then we became friends. And then… this happened.”

He stopped, seeming more to be struggling to find words than to have said all he meant to say. Mike simply said, “And?”

“And now I just… Mike, I… I really like you. This is more than just sex for me. I don’t know what you’re gonna do with that information, I know you’re at more risk than me, but I just… need you to know. For me.”

“Sonny…” Mike pulled Sonny to him and held him almost painfully tight, kissing the side of his head because it was the only place within reach. “Me, too, Babe. God help me, this… you… it’s more than sex for me, too.”

As the weeks went by, they continued to spend every possible night together, and had gradually come to spend all their time in Sonny’s cheerful, comfortable apartment rather than Mike’s drab, utilitarian place. Mike’s apartment had become the place he returned to when he needed to pick up his mail, or get fresh clothes, although more and more of those had taken up residence at Sonny’s.

Sonny came home from Sunday dinner with his family to find Mike slouched on the sofa, his long legs draped lazily over the coffee table and ESPN playing on the television with the sound off, the way Mike often watched sports for some reason. Sonny had teased Mike about it, saying he thought it was cute, and maybe a little weird, which was incidentally the way he would describe Mike on the whole. Tonight, Mike was sipping a beer and paying no attention to whatever game was on.

“You OK, hon?” Sonny asked as he breezed through the room to the kitchen to deal with the bags of leftovers his mother always sent home with him.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just thinkin’.”

“About?”

“I don’t know. Nothin’.”

Sonny came back out of the kitchen and stopped on his way to the bedroom. “You sure everything’s OK?”

“Everything’s great. I guess that’s what I was thinkin’ about.” Mike smiled affectionately at Sonny, thinking he looked particularly adorable in his church clothes, casual slacks and a cable-knit sweater over a T-shirt.

“Well, hold that thought. Let me get changed, and then I wanna hear all about how great everything is.” Sonny’s smile was incandescent and, for some reason, he was blushing just a bit.

He quickly returned from the bedroom, still wearing the T-shirt, and now comfortable in a pair of Mike’s sweats. For some time now, Sonny had made a habit of wearing clothes that Mike had worn, saying that it made him feel closer to him. He especially liked wearing Mike’s shirts, because he said they smelled like him. Mike had felt his chest clutch when he said that, and could have sworn that there were tears threatening behind his eyes.

Sonny sat down next to Mike, as close as possible, and put his legs over Mike’s and his head on Mike’s shoulder, scooting his body under Mike’s arm so that Mike had no choice but to put his arm around him. As though Mike wanted a choice.

“So. You were thinkin’ things are good, huh?”

Mike laughed and tipped Sonny’s face up to kiss him. It was a few minutes before he pulled away slightly. “Yeah. Good.”

“What else were you thinkin’?”

Sonny was a talker. He was always asking how Mike was feeling, what he was thinking, how he felt about things. Sometimes that was difficult for Mike, because he didn’t tend to ask himself those questions. But he’d begun to, somewhere in the couple of months he’d been seeing Sonny. Thinking about Sonny was always nice, but the habit had begun to creep into other areas of Mike’s life, and it wasn’t always pleasant.

“I was thinking about… you and me, I guess. How we got here. Where ‘here’ is.”

“You come to any conclusions?”

Mike hesitated, then shrugged. “I told you. That things are good.”

Sonny shook his head. “You kill me. You’ll chase an armed perp without a second thought, you’ll go nose to nose with anyone who wants to challenge you, no matter how big they are. But ask you to talk about how you feel, or what you think, and you panic and start lookin’ for the exit.”

Sonny sat up and turned to Mike, putting a hand out to stroke his hair. His whole face was aglow as he looked at Mike, his sentimental grin showing his dimples and making crinkles around his eyes, both of which made the bottom drop out of Mike’s stomach.

“It’s one of the things I love about you. It’s also one of the things that make me want to strangle you.”

Mike stroked Sonny’s thigh, smiling back into his eyes. “Did you just tell me you love me?”

“Not very eloquently. But I do.”

Mike sighed happily, his eyes showing all that he felt. “I love you, too. How’s that for talking about my feelings?”

“Pretty fuckin’ good,” Sonny said, beaming the full wattage of his radiant smile on Mike. “I think you deserve a reward.”

#law & order svu #law & order: special victims unit #mike dodds #sonny carisi #andy karl #peter scanavino #dorisi

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pwnyta · 6 years ago

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Full Endgame spoilers/review:

(TL;DR: It was really fucking good. Theres some bad obviously but overall worth it. Even after reading the spoilers and feeling like I may not like it as much as I thought I would... I actually liked it more.)

- - So as I said I loved the movie I had some gripes but overall I thought it was one hell of a fun, entertaining movie. I'll go by each characters story in my review saving Cap and Tony for last.

Natasha- Honestly? Though I think the MCU dropped the ball on the 0G6 being a believable family... I think Nats role in this movie was sweet. I really like the scene where Tony Nat and Bruce were laying down talking about Strange and the stones. It was really cute but it really made me wish we got to see this earlier. Joss dropped the ball hard in AoU. Ive said it one and I'll say it again. AoU should have been the movie where the Avengers were a solid unit throughout the movie.Nats death was... heroic but honestly her and Clint beating the shit out of each other because neither could stand the thought of the other being sacrificed was kinda funny and cute which is jarring to the story. It kinda sucks that she was fridged before the final battle though.

Clint- What are the fucking odds that every one of his family was dusted? But w/e. Clint having a wild sword battle in Japan... it was ridiculous and weird and IDK what they were thinking with that scene but it was played really dramatically but I laughed? Cuz it was so over the top and silly... even though he just slit that guys throat and Nats like :c Clint~ honey no its fine... and they hold hands over the guys warm corpse. LMFAO WHAT!? Im at least happy his kids got him back if nothing else.

Bruce- ... Bruce with Hulks big green body? NICE. Thats gonna have some interesting fanart I can already tell and I lift my glass to you. I once tried to draw a little comic where Bruce and Hulk separated but also had swapped bodies.... so Bruce had Hulks body but I never did finish it I wonder if I still have it saved somewhere. Anyways. Honestly? I found Bruce in this movie to be equal parts funny and annoying? Like it was a bit jarring sometimes that he was so lighthearted despite everything.

Thor- When I read the spoilers I thought I was gonna really dislike Thor but watching it I understood where Thor was coming from and I couldnt really blame him for spiraling and its not like anyone close to him seemed to even check up on him despite clearly knowing where he was. Im really sad that it took all those years and only until he was needed for someone to try and talk Thor through what he was going through. Im not annoyed with Thor. Im annoyed with the rest of them (minus Tony and I guess Clint? Considering.). Bruce was his friend in Ragnarok, Nat keeps talking about them being family, and Steve is their leader where the hell were they? Unless im missing something... I guess Valkyrie too but shes been picking up his slack as a leader and was holding the Asgardians together so I can cut her some slack. ANYWAYS. Thor was kinda funny in the movie but it was kind of hard to enjoy his goofiness. It kind felt like Tony in IM2. Speaking of Im glad Tony seemed really tolerant of Thors drunk behavior... I was sure he would throw a lot of shots like Rocket did. I wish they had a moment to talk about Thor self medicating with booze... Tonys been there. I get why they couldnt really but.. His scene with Frigga was really nice. Frigga is a bad bitch raised by witches and shit.... she knows all~ A wise woman that Frigga.

Scott- HOLY SHIT Did I love Scott in this movie. He was soo funny and cute... and bullied a lot. You know I have a thing for easily bulliable character. And Scott just got spanked left and right. His helpless goofiness reminded me of Harry from KKBB a little. He bounced off everyone well and it makes me kinda wish he was one of the OG6 instead of Clint. He was more of the heart that kept the Avengers together than anyone. Also him and Tony talking about Caps ass? HILARIOUS. Bisexual icons honestly. 'That suit did nothing for your ass.' 'No one asked you to look!' 'I think you look great Cap as far as Im concerned thats Americas ass!' and then later Caps all 'That IS Americas ass.' Unbelievable. But his best scene is still him reuniting with Cassie. She was so big! Im so happy she got her dad back... but Bruces failed time travel machine scene.... that was a close second. 'Somebody peed my pants... idk if it was baby me or old me........ or me me.' Also the 'whats up regular sized man' scene is longer and more hilarious than the preview showed. FUCK YOUR TACO SCOTT. At least Bruce is nice to him. I ship GreenAnt a little. Rocket petting Scott and mockingly calling him a puppy. SAME.

Rhodey- JESUS RHODEY. Speaking of hilarious idiots. Im glad he got a bigger roll in this movie but he didnt hug Tony when he got back so whats the point? BUT W/E... He was hilarious and amazing. It was nice to see him step up as one of the sorta leaders after the snappening. But he was also A HUGE FUCKING DORK THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH. Thinking that a secret cavern with a spooky name would be boobytrapped like in Indiana Jones and trying to convince Nebula to be careful. Naming a bunch of shitty time travel movies to prove a point about time travel (with Scotts help) and going back in time to kill baby Thanos...and Bruce was like 'yeah... no...' and him fucking TRASHING the magic of the iconic opening scene of the first GotG where Quill is dancing.... 'so hes an idiot?' RHODEY PLEEEEAAASSSEEEE have mercy. Him and Nebula are a trip. Also I made a note to mention Don Cheadles BEAUTIFUL soft voice. So here it is. I love Don Cheadles beautiful soft voice. He had too few scenes with Tony but their first scene when Tony starts freaking out and hes trying to get Tony to calm down was pretty good... and god that ending.... ;-; How come Rhodey got NO lines while Tony was dying? But also in the same position I dont think Id have any words either. I too would just cry. And did... for Tony. But yeah besides his lack of scenes with Tony I really loved Rhodeys scenes. I usually do. Hes adorable.

Nebula: Sweetie... You are just amazing. Shes legit one of the best most solid characters in the movie. The opening scenes between her and Tony? FUCKING adorable. Im sad we dont see more of them after the time skip. I also wish we got a longer scene of Neb and Rocket talking when she gets to earth... I guess just seeing them sit together sadly was enough to portray the emotions but.... I MEAN. More Nebula wouldnt hurt anyone. Having to see two tortured versions of Nebula was upsetting. Future Nebula who lost so much and past Nebula still under Thanos' thumb. 'You can change!' 'He wont let me' OOF. Im sad that past Nebula was killed... but appreciate that even in that moment past Gamora was upset to see her be killed. Im glad with Present Neb, Gamora was so easily heel-face turned. She loves her sister. Also their moment after past Gamora beats up present Quill was hilarious 'Really? This is the guy?' 'The choices were him or a tree.' WHAT ABOUT DRAX, NEBULA?! I know I said I may not watch any MCU movies after this but I might tune in for GotG3 for Nebula (and Thor).

Steve: I actually ENJOYED Steve in this movie for the most part. For the first time in any movie... even by himself I kind of enjoyed Steve. Especially the scene when hes fighting himself and his past self says 'I can do this all day' and hes like 'Tst... yeah I know... okay' Like he was sick of his own damn bullshit. And frankly? Same. Also him whispering 'Hail hydra' to get the scepter? Hilarious. I cant help but see it as a knock at that shitty Hydra Cap comic that everyone hated. But despite me enjoying Steve for most of the film... the MCUs inability to write a good romance and pretending like Steve and Peggys relationship was a peak or something completely undoes it all. It would still NOT BE GREAT regardless but the fact the RUSSOS are the ones who brought Sharon into TWS in the first place makes it SO MUCH WORSE that Steve dipped out. Steve should have moved on... even if it wasnt with Sharon. They could have at least MENTIONED HER but they knew they couldnt because then it would be too highlighted that Steve is a fucking FUCK BOY who used the niece of the woman he loved as a surrogate and that him going back to the past means hes gonna be meeting little Sharon at some point. Also? Really? Steve you have this whole new family you supposedly love and can live your life with but you rather go back in the past because the first woman who was nice to you was there? Move on. Its so fucking weird that hes so obsessed with her. You have your childhood friend and the rest of your new friends... and supposedly a girlfriend. IDK how anyone could be happy with that ending for him. But I guess its in character... remember the note he sent Tony 'I've been on my own since I was 18.' What about Bucky? He was there with you and you had family in the Avengers supposedly. Natasha seemed to think so. YOURE SUCH A FUCKIN SCUMBAG STEVE. Jesus.

Tony: First of all Id just LOVED his scenes with Nebula as I said. He sat there patiently teaching how to play paper football and held her win. It was REALLY cute. When he passed out she picked him up off the floor and sat him down on the chair and pat him. REAL CUTE. He nicknamed her 'The Blue Meanie' its cute and he tried to give her the last of their food but she insisted he eat it. Bobbos eyes never looked more gorgeous than in that scene where Carol finds them honestly. Tonys I told you so was really really sad. It had a lot of feeling like that scene in AoU when he laughs hysterically and starts ranting? Rhodey tried to calm him down but he just ripped into Cap. Also he yanked off his arc reactor and I FULLY JUMPED IN PANIC because I forgot it wasnt in him. I fully flinched. But he pulled his heart out and gave it to Steve and then passed out. Tony and Peppers daughter is ADORABLE. And her interactions with Tony are so sweet. Domestic Tony is lovely. I love that when Steve and the gang roll up on him Morgan runs out during their discussion and is like 'Mom told me to come and save you....' and hes like 'Well Ive been saved!' REAL CUTE. Also he swore and his daughter copied him and hes like NOOOOO!!!!!!! LMAO. LANGUAGE Tony. Tony is motivated to fix things seeing that pic of him and Peter. Hes such a softie. IM REALLY REALLY SAD that we finally see Pepper kinda GET Tonys need to be Iron Man and is like 'But could you rest?'. The one time she encourages him to go back to be Iron Man and he fucking DIES. Im so sad for Pepper. But that scene between them where shes like 'We'll be ok.... you can rest now.' FUCK. Im crying again. That scene between him and Steve- 'Someone shoula warned you~' 'You did...' 'Oh did I? Thank god Im here' has the same energy as 'Who taught you how to dance?' 'You did.' 'Well Ive done a marvelous job!' It was pretty great. Tonys nicknames for Scott are 'Pissant' and 'Thumbelina.' Im not OVERLY fond of his scenes with Howard. But honestly? My brother is the same way with our dad... he just chooses to forget the bad stuff and focus on the few good times. I cant do that but if it made Tony happier then VERY WELL. I wish Tony coulda talked to Jarvis too tho... just a word... anything? Best Tony scene is Peter babbling about how he musta passed out because Tony was gone and and and and Tony just hugs him so tightly and Peters hugs back and is like :D 'this is nice'! Though that STARK contrast of them after Tony uses the gauntlet... and Peter is like 'Mr Stark... we won... we did it... no Mr Stark...' Big Simba and Mufasa feels (and kind of Hughes and Elicia tbh). Not cool Disney. I was already crying. Rhodey was the first to reach Tony and Tony couldnt say ANYTHING to anyone and Rhodey just pets his cheek... Tony was just looking around as his family just has to watch helplessly as hes dying and Pepper tells him its ok. His funeral was really nice. He recorded a message for everyone kind of like his message for Pepper on the ship. Everyone was there... I think even Harley (Im really sad we didnt see them get reunited even once). The scene with Happy and Morgan was really sweet. 'I'll buy all the cheeseburgers you want....' It was cool to because... ya know.... Jon Favreau. He got a really beautiful end. I wish he could just retire and live with Pep and Morgan... but if he had to die... that was a really lovely sendoff. SO ALL IN ALL. Awesome movie. I didnt get to see past elderly Steve passing the shield off to Sam... I'll have to rewatch it again when theres a better version. Especially for that fucking STUNNING end battle. Even with the shitty cam I watched it looked AMAZING and I cant wait for it in HD.

#Endgame Spoilers

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saiangelo999 · 6 years ago

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2019 T.v. show Tracker

Part 2

Animes

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Finished it. Read the novel. Checking out the Cdrama (The Untamed). Obsessed. Watch it, it’s worth it.

Currently watching season two! Jing Ling is so precious and all the chibis are SO CUTE!

Dororo

In progress (~episode 20) - Love it so far! Excited to see where it goes!

Update: Dororo was always precious but I just appreciate this child more and more as the episodes continue. I really enjoyed the lighter episode with the opposite village and the swordsmaster. Also, I am glad that Itachi finally died... but tbh I can’t hate him. Dororo is soo forgiving, my precious child.

Edit: Completed. Enjoyed the story and the way that it was wrapped up.

My Roommate is a Cat

Completed - Loved it! Super cute, fluffy and touching. Fun to watch! Really enjoyed the show and REALLY want more! Please make a season 2!!

Fruits Basket 2019

It’s definitely doing its job of hitting the heartstrings true to Fruits Basket lore (I loved the manga). That opening (1) tho is so depressing really setting the mood for the show I guess... I’m excited for more and aware of the pain that is yet to come. But I am excited (and hopeful) to see them do justice to the plot this time. Update: s1 is almost over and I really enjoyed it!

One Punch Man

Loved it!! Finished season one! It was way too short... Will watch season two when all the episodes come out! I actually found the show to have a lot of parallels with The Disastrous Life of Saiki which could be the reason that I enjoyed it so much. I really don’t know how all the fans who watched it when it was first released could have waited so long for season two.

Ruroni Kenshin

Randomly started it cuz I was planning on watching it for a while and it was on Netflix so I thought - why not. Liking it so far but I haven’t gotten very far yet so it’s hard to form an opinion atm.

Dramas

Bad Guys

Completed - Good Binge.

It was very addicting, very interesting premise that captured my attention initially. It’s a good binge, but around episode 10 the show, the show sort of fizzled out for me. The hitman’s storyline (Jung woo) was a bit too melodramatic for my taste and was a bit off-putting, however I absolutely loved the psychopath’s story. That definitely kept me hooked throughout. One huge plus of this show is the action, and it is a lot of fun to watch if you don’t think about the show too much.

Gibo to Musume no Blues

Completed - Loved it! I’d highly recommend it!

This show was so adorable and so sweet and fun to watch from start to finish. I really enjoyed this slice of life and the warm stepmother and stepdaughter relationship throughout the show. It was very heartwarming to watch. I loved how all the characters were treated with respect and didn’t seem like hollow caricatures, I liked the relationships portrayed in the show and the general warmth that this show had throughout.

I am still not over what happened to Ryoichi :( , but I can say that I absolutely loved every single character in this show. The baker definitely grew on me more and more throughout the later half of the show and he became very lovable. Overall, this was a great drama that I am glad I checked out!

Children of Nobody/ Red Moon Blue Sun

Completed - Loved it! 15/10 would recommend!

This drama was really really gripping. I like how the story didn’t feel very formulaic, and I admit I was quite unsure what was going on in the first 2 or so episodes. But once the plot line was set in motion, I was along for the ride. One huge reason for that is probably the main character Cha Woo Kyung, she won me over very quickly and her backstory was very intriguing. I also really like Yi Kyung’s character as well as his team, though it did take me a while to warm up to him. The children all did a phenomenal job as well - I especially like Ha Na and Si Wan’s acting.Si Wan is another huge factor that kept me watching, the child actor did a great job!

One thing I definitely appreciated with this show was how morally grey all the characters were, it made them more relatable. If I were to compare it to similar mystery/crime kdrama’s I’ve seen, I think so far this would rank the highest - the plot was engaging, the characters were interesting, there was absolutely ZERO focus on developing a romantic relationship and the topic - abuse (child primarily) was handled well.

Her Private Life

Really loving Ryan Gold so far!! He’s actually super considerate and kind? Love it! Quite like the female lead as well. Love her relationship with her best friend, they are absolutely adorable! Not too happy about what I heard about the Eun Gi thing where they did the Reply staple of making the viewers assume that he’s her brother only to find out he’s interested in her romantically and that they aren’t blood-related... why is this trope so popular? This reminds me a lot so far of Reply 1997.

Update: show is moving on in a very cliche way... extremely predictable so far. Will maybe stick w it bc I love Ryan’s character and the couple are adorable. TBH I didn’t start this for the plot. Another gripe that I have is just why do kdramas always do the thing where the main couple are meant to be and met during their childhood? I don’t get why that’s so popular... But I do respect the fact that Ryan’s real mom did not abandon him and that arc was resolved quickly.

Overall, it was better than a lot of other dramas in this genre and it was done with much less unnecessary drama. I appreciated how the side characters were handled and liked that they were given time to have their own sub-plots. A decent show all in all.

The Fiery Priest

Loved it! I like the mix of the action and comedy that was showcased in the show. I found this show to be very similar in the plot structure, comedy (to an extent) and characterizations to Chief Kim so I enjoyed the show a lot and had a pretty good idea of what to expect from the show. It’s a fun show that keeps you hooked for more, and like Chief Kim don’t expect any romance between characters to really develop.

Angel’s Last Mission: Love

Shin Hye Sun is just gorgeous, omg. She’s also a really good actress. I really liked seeing her in this role coming out of watching Still 17 to see the sheer difference in personality. I am enjoying the contrast. Also, I like her chemistry with Myungsoo. I don’t care for the second lead nor can I bring myself to empathize with him. I also am somewhat disappointed with her family sub-plot because so far it seems pretty cliche so I’m hoping for a plot twist or two.

DNF.

Project S The Series: Spike

I FINALLY finished it! Really loved it. Great acting, loved the pace of the show and how realistic it felt. I really liked watching the team come together and grow together. The few female characters were a delight - Jern is so lovable and adorable. Bright is very sweet and does a lot for the team. Puen’s relationship with the entire team was interesting to see - his strong bond with Singha and now Than, his relationship with Jern and ofc his friends. Than’s relationship with his dad was also portrayed realistically right til the end. It’s a good watch, and I’ll definitely re-watch the series.

Ao to Boku

So addicting, waiting for the last episode to be subbed. Please get subbed!

Update: it was subbed! Finished it! Enjoyed the drama overall. A nice mystery/friendship/slice-of-life one. Be warned that although there is a bit of mystery it is mainly a slice-of-life/friendship drama.

The Untamed

I enjoyed it overall (tho I did end up skipping over some episodes). I thought that it was a faithful adaptation to the novel considering the censorship issues. I love how they took out a lot of the explicit gay but still somehow made parts of the show gayer. Also I LOVE fairy. Fairy is an adorable fluffball that owns my heart <3.

DNF - He is Psychometric

Melo Suits Me/ Be Melodramatic

So... they really made one of the cutest love stories tragic huh. I’m really enjoying the show so far, I love the friendship between the main 4 leads. I am interested about the industry and I like the balance that the drama has with its humour, friendship, love and slice-of-life elements. I really like the actress and her manager couple they are so cute! I kind of wish I have more cute mother-son moments with the kid so hopefully in a future episode.

Update: Finished it! Liked the ending overall, had one minor qualm. I really liked the Director (Yeller) that was introduced. He was an unexpected delight and I love his dynamic with Eun Jung. I did like that they did end up subverting a romantic relationship and left it platonic. That was unexpected.

T.v. shows

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Season 6 - Finally finished it! Lot of fun, and enjoyed watching yet another season of the show. I really enjoyed their Cinco de Mayo heist this year and thought that was a lot of fun. I personally didn’t really feel Gina’s absence too much though her going away words were cute near the beginning of the season.

Broadchurch

Completed - Completely binged season 3! I love this show!

I forgot how beautiful the cinematography in the show was! Their little village is gorgeous. It’s a bit jarring to watch it after a year or so because my memory of season 2 of Broadchurch was quite hazy. Nevertheless, I absolutely love this show. This season was very different from the previous ones, and it had a good build up but the final reveal of the culprit was quite... predictable. However, there was a twist that came with the reveal that came completely out of the blue. I liked the way Alec/D.I Hardy and Ellie handled the issue at hand and set an example of how cases of rape should be handled within the police force. It was also really nice to see Beth’s growth, the vicar and what Maggie were up to! I also enjoyed seeing Alec and his daughter’s relationship grow. Too bad its cancelled... here’s hoping that one day they’ll renew it.

Stranger Things season 3

I personally liked it a lot more than season two because I felt that it had more growth from the characters. I liked Eleven’s character growth and how the dynamic of the relationships changed and seeing the kids grow up. But, I’m definitely getting a bit tired of this show... because although I did enjoy this season, I still feel that in a way it was redundant.

Derry Girls s2

I loved it! So funny. So adorable. Love the characters and the ridiculous situations that they put themselves in (or are put in). Sister Michael is still my fave, her lines are always pure gold.

Anne with an E season 3

Trying to keep track of it as it is airing on CBC. I missed the second episode :( But I watched episode 3 and the foreshadowing for the residential schools omg

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thanksfornothinguselessreptile · 6 years ago

Text

A Shifting World Chapter 4: Goodbyes and Departures

First Chapter

<– Previous

Work Summary: Things have been going great since Hiccup and Toothless have defeated the Red Death. He has his father’s approval, a group of friends his own age, and is leading the integration of dragons and the Vikings of Berk. When neighboring tribes call together a meeting to discuss rumors of Vikings riding dragons, however, Stoick decides to keep their alliance with dragons under wraps. Hiccup must decide whether he should listen to his father or seek to teach the other Vikings of the archipelago the truths about dragons.

AO3

Rating: T

Characters: Hiccup, Toothless, Astrid, Stoick, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, Snotlout

Pairings: Minor Hiccup x Astrid

Chapter Summary: Hiccup makes a promise to his best friend. Meanwhile, the twins are the twins and Mildew is Mildew.

Chapter Warnings: Discussions of death and murder, food mention

“You guys are all so lucky,” Tuffnut said as he shook his head at the nearest ship. “You all get to go to the Thing and we don’t.”

“I’d kill for the opportunity to go.” The scariest thing about that statement, Hiccup decided, was that Ruffnut sounded like she genuinely meant it. “The Thing is the prime pranking opportunity, and none of you are going to take advantage of it!”

“We’ll keep that in mind, I promise,” Hiccup said. He found himself regretting that the twins wouldn’t be coming along, even if it cut down the risk of other tribes declaring war on Berk due to missing beards and painted helmets.

Still, with a whole village to terrorize and no one else in their friend group around to entertain them or hold them back, Hiccup was sure that the missed opportunity would soon be a long distant regret.

Luckily enough for Hiccup, if not for Berk, it turned out that many of his friends were coming along, too. Astrid’s mother, Phlegma, was among the Berk Council, as was Spitelout, Snotlout’s father; both had decided their children ought to come along and get a better understanding of the other tribes. Fishlegs, while he had a mother aboard their ship as a sailor, had been chosen to come because Stoick believed he could have potential as a future ambassador of Berk.

Beyond them, all of the Berk Council were going as well. Well, all except for one, who was heading this way with a frown.

Hiccup was suddenly very aware that the twins had seemed to have vanished into thin air. They must’ve pranked Gobber somewhat recently, then.

“Ah, Toothless, there you are!” Gobber said as he wagged the wooden hand cutout attached to his prosthetic arm attachment as he prepared a lecture. “Remember that you aren’t going on this trip, you sneaky reptile.”

Toothless grumbled in irritation and glanced over at Hiccup as if asking him to reverse the decision.

“Sorry, bud,” he said instead, and gave Toothless an apologetic smile. “You know that Dad would kill me if I smuggled you aboard.” And anyways, even if he did go through with showing the other tribes that dragons weren’t inherently violent and were actually amazing, intelligent beings who were willing to live in peace if humans were, he wanted Toothless here, safe, if things went wrong. Again.

Toothless snorted and shook his head, his pupils narrowing slightly.

“Don’t worry, bud, it won’t be for forever.” If Gobber wasn’t there, Hiccup would have told him he’d try and make it so he could go to the next one, too. However, Gobber was still there, listening. He wouldn’t exactly be the sort that would keep quiet if Hiccup started making plans to go against his father’s and chief’s wishes behind his back.

“Yes,” Toothless said with a disgruntled huff.

Hiccup could understand why. He wasn’t too happy about having to leave his best friend either.

Anything else he had to say, however, was swallowed up by a loud yell several feet away.

“I’m telling you, Stoick, this must be a sign from the gods to give up this unholy alliance with the beasts.” Hiccup had heard that voice enough times since after the Battle of the Red Death that he frowned and prepared to sigh with exasperation even before properly recognizing its owner.

Just as there were dragons too affected by the years of conflict to want to move onto Berk, there were Vikings who resisted the peace with the dragons with their heels dug into the ground. But where dragons were happy enough to avoid Berk, Mildew had decided to make his “opinion” everyone’s problem.

And especially Hiccup’s and Stoick’s.

“If the other tribes catch wind of us ‘befriending’ these monsters–” Mildew swung his staff straight toward a nearby Monstrous Nightmare who’d just dropped off a pallet of supply crates tied into groups with fishnet, ignoring their filthy look “–then we might as well kiss our lives goodbye!”

Stoick, half turned toward Mildew and half toward the freshly delivered stack of supplies, rubbed at his head in a way that told Hiccup that he was sensing an oncoming headache. “You’ve already brought this up. For sixteen Gripe Days in a row.”

“And you wouldn’t listen!” Hiccup winced as the vibrations of the resulting slam of the staff end into the wooden dock made their way up his prosthesis. “But now that the other tribes have come knocking, maybe you’ll finally care!”

Stoick cast Mildew a glare so sharp Hiccup almost expected to result in Mildew bursting into flames without a dragon’s intervention. Unfortunately for all of Berk, it didn’t. “Enough, Mildew. I am sticking to the answer I’ve given you every time before. We are not driving the dragons away.”

Mildew’s voice dropped just a fraction, and turned even more bitter and accusing. “Is it something you’re willing to bet the whole village’s lives on?”

“I assure you,” Stoick said, his voice unyielding, “I have the village’s best interests on my mind. And, like it or not, that includes yours.”

“Besides,” Gobber said, walking from beside Hiccup up to Mildew, “is right before Stoick’s about to leave to ensure we continue living in peace really the time to bring this up? Especially since he heard it before?”

Mildew snorted, sounding for all the world like a particularly stubborn sheep not unlike the one that often followed him around.

“I thought so. Now I suggest you go back and tend to your cabbages, unless you want to help load up the ship.” Gobber used his hand prosthesis to gesture at the supplies.

With one last scowl and “Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you,” Mildew stormed off the docks, staff tapping each wooden board along the way.

“Thanks, Gobber,” Stoick said, sounding more relieved than he’d been since the announcement of the Thing.

Gobber shrugged. “Eh, I’ll just add it to list of stuff you’ll owe me for while you’re gone.” He shuddered overdramatically. “Including the Gripe Days you’ll be missing. Not looking forward to those, I’m telling you!”

Stoick laughed and shook his head. “It makes dealing with the other chiefs seem like a picnic.”

Hiccup and Toothless walked toward them. “Can’t you do something about his attitude problem?”

Stoick frowned and sighed. “He gets under my skin as much as yours, son, but I’m afraid I can’t.”

“What does he have against them, anyways?” He leaned over to pat Toothless’s side, to calm himself and his dragon. “They hardly attacked his farm.” Cabbage, to no one’s surprise, was hardly a dragon’s preferred delicacy. In fact, they seemed to avoid them more often than most other crops.

Gobber and Stoick shared a solemn look.

“You see, years ago he set his farm up there,” Gobber said, sounding like he was getting into a long story that had no happy ending. “No one particularly minded, given he was always that… well, Mildewy, for the lack of a better word.” He shrugged. “And he married a woman who was just as grumpy as he was, and they had kids who took after the both of them.”

If Gobber and Stoick hadn’t looked so serious, Hiccup would’ve shuddered at the thought of a family of Mildews.

“They all seemed happy, though, and they kept mostly to themselves, so everything was fine.” Stoick shook his head. “And then, one day, his wife and children were picking up supplies in town when a dragon raid hit.”

“It was the worst in decades.” Gobber bit his lip. “Our best could hardly keep up defending the town from the dragons.” He sighed and shook his head. “By the time dawn came and they retreated, so many had died, even those who hadn’t fought.”

“Including Mildew’s family.” Hiccup never thought he’d feel anything regarding sympathy for the man, but then again he’d always summed his irritability up to stubbornness beyond the usual Viking levels.

“And that wasn’t the end of it.” Stoick’s tone caused Hiccup to brace himself. “Mildew somehow got it into his head that we let them die intentionally because no one liked them.”

“Well, no one did like them,” Gobber jumped in with a conciliatory tone. “But no one hated them that much,” he added when Stoick glared at him.

“Everyone kind of understood that it was mostly the grief talking, and things kind of died down after a while.” Stoick stroked his beard. “And eventually he ended up taking another wife.”

“And that’s when a dragon came to his farm and burnt it to a crisp.” Gobber shook his head. “Mildew escaped. Not his wife.”

“And after he got over that, he married another woman. She was from the Northlander Tribe, I believe.” He glanced at Gobber as if to confirm.

Gobber nodded. “Aye. And I bet you can get what happened to her.”

Hiccup’s stomach clenched. “I’m guessing not a peaceful death by old age.”

“After that, he became obsessed with killing dragons.” Stoick stroked his beard, lost in thought.

“Not himself, of course.” Gobber shrugged a single shoulder. “Let’s just say he chose to keep a farm far from the raids for a reason. But he bought dragon parts off those who did kill them. Bones, scales, heads, the lot.”

Toothless made a nervous sound, and Hiccup reached over to scratch him under the ears in an attempt at reassurance. “Don’t worry, bud. No one’s getting your head.”

“He was always advocating for crueler ways of killing them off entirely, not just driving them off our land for good.” Stoick frowned. “In any case, any intention he had of making his peace with them died with his wives and children.”

“But now we can make sure that no one else has to go through that.” Hiccup knew that losing family to dragons hurt; he’d lost his own mother to a dragon when he was a baby, and that had definitely stung after finding out that it was the Red Death’s fault. Still, he couldn’t imagine preferring being at war with dragons to the peace they had now over it.

“I know, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.” Stoick placed a hand on Hiccup’s shoulder, being careful not to knock him over. “However, he’s been bitter since the day he was born, and circumstances only made him worse. When you’re chief, you’ll have to deal with worse than the likes of him.”

Hiccup resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Encouraging pep talk, Dad.”

Stoick shook his head and laughed, and the somber tone the conversation had taken seemed to disperse like that. “Next time, I’ll let it surprise you.” He glanced around the docks and the ship, scanning everything. “Well, it looks to me like we’re just about ready to set out here. You get on the ship and I’ll get the loose ends tied up.” With that, he walked off.

Hiccup turned back to Toothless. “Well, I guess it’s time to say goodbye, bud.”

Toothless warbled in a very unenthusiastic tone.

“I promise I’ll be back, with a whole new bunch of stories to tell you.” A gathering of Viking chiefs was certainly never boring, as Stoick had often been inclined to share. “I’m sure you will too, since the twins are staying behind.”

At that, Toothless snorted and rolled his eyes.

Hiccup couldn’t help but smile at that. “You never know, you might have too much fun watching them get in trouble to even notice I’m gone.”

Toothless snorted and shook his head. He didn’t sound particularly convinced.

“It’s just for a few weeks, I promise.” Hiccup held out an open hand. Toothless stared at it and hesitated, then leaned his head over until his nose met Hiccup’s palm. “Take care while I’m gone.” He let himself give his best friend a crooked, mischievous smile and wagged a finger at him in warning. “And no helping Ruff and Tuff with their pranks, alright?”

Toothless seemed to raise the draconic equivalent of an eyebrow, but nodded. “Yes.”

With that, Hiccup forced himself up the gangplank and looked for a place to sit. It was going to be a long journey.

So this is probably the last chapter I’m posting to Tumblr before the Log Off Protest. While the next chapter will likely be published on AO3 around the same time next week, I won’t crosspost it to Tumblr until the protest is over and I log back in. After that, crossposting should continue as usual. Thank you!

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