#Life been kicking my ass but i will try to make more posts to prove that i'm in fact a non threatening duck

[colorfullturtleduck888]

The time has come

Behold, a crosswalk!

I hold the knowledge of crosswalks!!!!

Bonus pic:

[javierpena-inatacvest]

You Make Loving Fun

Summary: You buy tickets to Fleetwood Mac for Javi's birthday. After a few drinks, Javi ends up having a little more fun than he intended.

Pairing: Husband!Javier Peña x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 6.1K

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (wrap before you tap) oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, paise kink, creampie, aftercare, implied? breeding kink (I think it's illegal for me to write if this isn't in the warnings somewhere) drinking alcohol, Javi gets absolutely HAMMERED, talks of having more kids and stopping birth control, Drunk Javi wants to tell anyone and everyone how much he loves his wife, Drunk Javi being sweet and happy and so in love because that's what he deserves

A/N: If you're anything like me, you've spent WAY too long looking at all of these photos of sweet Pedro at a concert, and of course, my brain automatically went "THAT'S JAVI GETTING WASTED AND HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE" and now, here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️ I feel like Javi would be a very happy/affectionate drunk post-Colombia bc he is so happy just to be having fun and enjoying his life and that makes me ✨emotional✨ Also, thanks @itsokbbygrl for ruining my life by realizing the ring Pedro is wearing in this picture is on his RING FINGER?!?! 😩

Can be read as a standalone or as a part of the Never Too Late Series!

“I feel to fucking old to be doing this.”

“To do what? Go to a concert? I hate to break it to you, Jav, but there are, in fact, no age limits at concerts. What, are you worried security is gonna try to kick you out for being too old?” You giggled, looking over at Javi next to you in the bathroom, finishing fixing his hair and adjusting his shirt. 

“I know, I just haven’t been to a concert in so damn long. Definitely not since we’ve had the girls.” Javi sighed, running his hand through the dark curls of his hair once more before turning to face you, still finishing up the last of your makeup in the mirror. 

Although you had intended for your Fleetwood Mac tickets to be a surprise for Javi’s birthday, trying to coordinate around your schedules and 3 little girls had made spontaneous date nights much more challenging than they used to be when you first met. But, with Chucho needing no incentive to babysit his granddaughters, you and Javi were excited to have a night out just the two of you, getting to enjoy your favorite band together, singing and dancing the night away to celebrate another year of Javi getting older. 

“Well then lucky for you, you’ll be the hottest dad at the concert.” You smirked, sassily tilting your head towards him to prove your point, your reaction just enough to snap him out of his self doubt, Javi joining in on the laughter as he stood behind you, grabbing your waist and placing a soft kiss on the bare skin of your shoulder next to the strap of your sundress. 

“Good thing I’ve got a fucking hot MILF of a wife to go with me then, huh?” Javi grinned, the kiss he had left on your shoulder now slowly starting to creep up your neck and collarbone as his hand reached down to grab a handful of your ass, making you squeal in surprise. “I know you picked this dress out on purpose because you know it drives me fucking crazy. God, you look good.” 

“Javi! You better stop or we’re gonna be late to dinner before the show!” You scolded, giving him a playful jab to his stomach, only making him tighten the grip on your ass even firmer with his other hand coming to join his first. 

“Hermosa,” He cooed, gently turning you around to take the mascara you had in your hand and set it on the counter before cradling your jaw in his palm, forcing your gaze up at him, “I know you. And you and I both know damn well you at least put enough a little buffer time into our plans for us to have sex before we left. Am I wrong?” 

Well, he caught you there, because he most certainly was not. 

“Maybe…” You replied sheepishly, overdramatically rolling your eyes at his statement, only making his boyish grin spread wider between his cheeks, “Okay, but seriously though, we do have to be quick, because I don’t want to- Ah! Javi!” 

You couldn’t help but let out a little shriek of surprise as Javi suddenly lifted you up, setting you down on the bathroom counter and caging your body under his, his arms planted on either side of your hips as his mouth crashed into yours, tongues and teeth dancing in a hungry and desperate clash. 

“I promise I won’t take too long. But I can’t help myself when you look this good, mi amor. Eres tan hermosa (You’re so beautiful). You’re gonna kill me in that dress, Momma.” Javi hummed, his hands now gripping the meat of your thighs and sliding down your legs to bunch up the skirt of your dress, hiking it up as he sank down to his knees in front of the bathroom counter. 

You could already feel the damp patch that had begun to grow in your underwear as Javi hooked his fingers around the elastic of its waistband, tugging the fabric down your legs and letting it fall to the bathroom floor, revealing your pussy, already wet and aching for him. 

Javi settled himself between your legs, draping them over his shoulders as his fingers slid through your folds, collecting your juices before beginning to circle at your clit with the pads of his fingers, peppering kisses along the inside of your thighs as you whimpered in delight. 

“J-Javi, please, baby.” You moaned, fingers tightening around the edge of the countertop as his thumb replaced his fingers on your clit, his middle and ring finger dipping inside your already weeping core, curling just slightly as he began to pump them in and out of you. 

It wasn’t long before his thumb was replaced by his mouth, the flat of his tongue licking a broad strip across your cunt, the new sensation sending a shockwave of pleasure through your body. No matter how many times Javi had gone down on you, it never failed to surprise you how goddamn good he was at it, memorizing every twitch and gasp that made you fall apart in the best way possible, and tonight was no exception. 

His slow, long strokes began to quicken, circling his tongue around your clit with the perfect amount of pressure as his fingers worked in tandem, curving in just the right place to press against your g-spot and begin to build the arousal swirling in your core. 

As much as you (and Javi, for that matter), would have loved to have taken your time and let him eat you out on the bathroom counter for hours, the both of you knew you were on a time crunch, but not enough of a crunch to stop Javi from making you cum at least once before he fucked you. 

The pressure of his tongue on your sensitive nub became more and more, before latching his lips to suck at your clit, your cunt clenching in anticipation around his fingers as you writhed beneath his touch, moaning his name as you felt your orgasm begin to build. 

You couldn’t help but let your hand shoot down to his head, your fingers burying themselves in his thick, brown locks, with absolutely no regard for the time he had just spent fixing his hair in the mirror just a few minutes ago.  

“Javi… Oh, shit. Fuck, more baby, please. P-please, I’m so close.” You moaned, looking down at Javi with what you were already sure was a wrecked expression painted across your face. 

You could practically feel Javi’s smug smirk pressed against your cunt before pulling away to respond. “Give it to me, pretty girl. Wanna taste you all over me when you soak my face.”

Before you could reply, your jaw dropped open and face scrunched in pleasure as Javi dove back in, burying his face in your cunt, each press of his tongue became more firm and precise than the last, feeling your pussy begin to flutter as you clutched tighter around the edge of the counter, trying to keep from screaming out in pleasure and raise any suspicion. But as your legs began to tremble and your heart race, teetering on the brink of collapse, it was taking every ounce of willpower you had left to make that happen.

Fuck, Javi. Fuck, I- fuck- I’m gonna, I’m gonna-ahhhhhh.” You whimpered, feeling your orgasm crash through you, pleasure radiating in your veins as you fell apart, losing all inhibitions to keep yourself quiet as you threw your head back in all consuming bliss. With his fingers still buried in your cunt, gently working you through your high, Javi shot back up, his mouth engulfing yours in an electric kiss to try and capture your ragged moans that had been coating the walls of the bathroom, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips. 

”That’s it, baby girl. Fuck, you’re so perfect. Love this pussy so fucking much.” He groaned, reaching down to frantically undo his belt buckle, his fingers working rapidly to undo the metal clasp before pushing his pants and boxers down his legs, letting them pool in a pile around his ankles. 

Still coming down from your high, your breath hitched as the tip of Javi’s cock ran through your folds, coating his length in your arousal before slipping inside you. You couldn’t help but gasp even harder at the new sensation of his fullness inside you, cockhead already kissing your cervix as his hips flushed with yours. 

Javi’s hands began to wander up your legs, pushing your dress up your thighs until he got to your hips, digging his fingertips in the soft fabric as he thrust in and out of you, mouths melding together as one. 

“Fuck, you feel so good, Hermosa. So fucking wet for me, taking me so well.” Javi moaned, nipping at your ear as his pace became faster, fucking into you in the spot he knew made you lose all control, silently smirking at the pathetic whimpers that were escaping your lips. 

Javi buried his face in the crook of your neck as your legs began to instinctively lock around the small of his back, bringing him closer to you with each thrust. You could already feel that all too familiar tingle building at the base of your spine once again, wanting to feel every inch of him you could deeper and deeper inside you before you came. 

With the way the hairs at the base of his cock were brushing against your clit, you knew you didn’t have much longer until your orgasm was about to crash though you, finding yourself grasping fistfuls of Javi’s shirt for dear life as you mumbled incoherently. 

”O-oh shit, Javi. Fuck, F-fuck, don’t stop baby. Please, don’t stop.” 

You could practically hear the hum of satisfaction deep in Javi’s chest feeling your cunt clench tighter and tighter around his cock, his firm grasp of his hands on your hips holding you in place on the counter as he pounded into you. 

”C’mon Osita. Cum all over me. Give it to me and I swear I’m gonna fuck you so full of me, I’ll be dripping out of you all night.” 

“Yes, fuckfuckfuck, please, Javi.” 

“Is that what you want? You gotta be a good girl and cum for me first, baby.” 

That was all it took for you to break before you could feel a wave of pleasure rushing through your body, euphoria running through your veins as you came, crying out Javi’s name like a prayer as he started to chase his own high. His thrusts became frantic and sloppy, his brows furrowing in focus to hold out just a little longer until your body melted into his in your blissed out state. 

“That’s it, hermosa. I love you so much. I- oh shit- I’m close, too. F-fuck, I’m gonna fill this tight little pussy so full of me that it- oh fuckkkkkkkk.” With a few more pumps, a moan escaped from Javi’s parted lips as he came, spilling himself deep inside your walls. The warm mix of his spend and your arousal dripped out of you as his cock softened, whimpering at the loss as he pulled out, but catching your muffled moans in his mouth as his lips met yours, cradling your face in his palm. 

Through your heavy breaths from heaving chests, you and Javi both couldn’t help but smile and laugh to yourselves as your foreheads rested against each other, quietly whispering “I love you” to each other in sync, your bodies slumped together in a blissed out heap on the bathroom counter. 

”Fuck, you’re so hot. I’ll never get over it.” Javi smirked, biting down on his lip after giving you another quick kiss, rummaging through your bathroom cabinets to pull out a washcloth to clean you up with.

”Takes one to know one, Peña.” You giggled, letting out a content sigh as you let your head fall back, closing your eyes for a moment before looking over your shoulder to see Javi, and behind Javi, the clock that you both had very much not been paying attention to in the midst of your antics.

”Oh fuck…” 

“Already did that, mi amor,” Javi teased, running the washcloth under the warm water of the sink, “What’s wrong?”

Without saying a word, you gestured to the clock hanging on the bathroom wall with a defeated shrug, Javi turning around with a quiet laugh to himself, shrugging his shoulders right along with you. 

“You’d think after how long we’ve been together we’d start giving ourselves even more time than we think to leave for things, huh?” 

“You would think, huh?” You giggled, accepting defeat that the two of you would most definitely not be making it to your dinner reservations that you had planned before the concert. “Sorry, Jav.”

 “What do you have to be sorry about, cariño? Fuck, I get to have amazing sex with my beautiful wife before we go see our favorite band, what a horrible birthday night so far.” Javi teased, giving you a reassuring nudge that you had nothing to apologize for. “I think the real question is…” 

”Is what, Mr. Sarcasm?” 

“What size fries do you want with your McDonald’s Coke and McNuggets for dinner?” 

“How did you know I was gonna say we should get McDonald’s for dinner?!” 

“Because Osita, I swear I know you better than I know myself.” 

After some quick touch ups and a call to Chucho to say goodnight to your daughters before you left, you and Javi were on the road, happily enjoying your McDonald’s and taking turns picking your favorite Fleetwood Mac songs to jam out to, spending your ride debating what songs they’d play, reminiscing about the songs you loved, and singing at the top of your lungs, to the point you were positive you would have no voice tomorrow. 

While you hadn’t been able to keep the concert itself a secret, the one thing you had been able to hide from your husband was the fact that you had managed to get not just good, but great seats for the show. If Javi had known how much you’d spent for him on his birthday, he would have insisted on finding cheaper tickets, but if there was anyone who was deserving of getting to see his favorite band from an incredible view, it was him. 

From the moment the two of you had entered the venue, you had your tickets peeled to your chest to keep them from Javi, reassuring him that you knew where you were going, much to his dismay and insisting that working together would help you find your seats quicker. 

After a few minutes of wandering and secretly maneuvering to the right section of the stadium, you had finally found where you belonged, excitedly pulling Javi along behind you towards your seats.

“Baby, not that I don’t trust your navigation skills, but I feel like we’re down way too far in the stands. ” Javi questioned, his hand in yours as you dragged him through the crowd, looking back and forth between your ticket stub and the stadium rows to find your spots. 

“Not to burst your bubble, Jav, but my navigation skills are as on point as they ever have been.” You smirked, crossing your arms over your chest before handing him over your tickets, his face stunned and in shock as he read the small stubs of card stock, realizing you had absolutely led the both of you to the right place. 

”Happy early birthday, Javi. I know the concert itself wasn’t a surprise, but I hope that these seats are still a good one.” 

“Osita… Baby, you can’t be serious…” Javi’s jaw dropped, eyes going wide in shock, convinced you had to be joking or playing some sort of prank on him. 

“Serious as a heart attack, Jav.” 

Javi stood there speechless, tears welling in his eyes with an awestruck grin on his face, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug before peppering your face with kisses, making you giggle and squeal in delight. 

“God, I love you so much. Thank you, Hermosa. This is… fuck, this is absolutely incredible. Thank you. I don’t- this is way more than I deserve. Thank you so much.” 

Your heart swelled at the boyish grin spread across Javi’s face as he looked out at the view in front of him, knowing that if you could give your husband the world in his pocket, you would in a heartbeat, but to see his excitement over some seats at a concert would do just fine. 

“You’re so welcome, baby. You do deserve it. You deserve it more than anyone I know. You are the most amazing, wonderful husband and dad. If I could get you up there on stage with Stevie Nicks, I would, because that’s what you deserve.” 

“I think the last thing anyone needs is to hear me even attempt to sing.” 

“The girls love it when you sing to them.” 

“That’s because they don’t know any better. Give it a few more years and I’m sure they’ll be begging me to stop.” 

“What they know won’t hurt ‘em,” you laughed, giving Javi a playful shrug, “Also, the other part of this gift is that I am driving us home from the concert, so you can have as much fun as you want.” 

“Baby, you don’t have to-” 

“I can and I will,” You sassed defiantly, cutting Javi off before he could oppose your offer, “You always drive so I can have a good time, and you deserve to have time to let loose, too. So, with that being said, I am going to go get us drinks. Drunk Javi is one of my favorite Javi’s and I don’t get to see him very often. Okay?” 

“Okay. Thanks, Hermosa. I love you.” 

“I love you too, Jav. Now, what do you want to drink?” 

“Surprise me.” He laughed, giving you a quick kiss and a subtle smack on your ass as you walked past him to make your way back to the concession stand. “Drunk Javi is really one of your favorites?” 

“Absolutely. Drunk Javi loves to dance. Drunk Javi also gets very sweet and a little handsy, both of which I am more than okay with.” 

A few drinks deep and the opening bands finished, Javi, or better yet, Drunk Javi, was having the absolute time of his life. For as fun and goofy Javi was at home with you and the girls, it was few and far between that the former DEA agent found himself intoxicated out in public with a case of dancing shoes and uncontrollable giggles. 

“God, I’m having so much fun. Are you having fun, Hermosa? You’re the best wife ever, you know that?” Javi grinned, wrapping his arm around your waist as he pecked a sloppy kiss onto your cheek before taking another sip of his beer. 

“Glad to know you don’t have a secret wife who you like better than me.” You teased, giving him a little nudge and giggling at his drunken state, a little surprised when all of a sudden his face turned serious, setting down his beer to cup your jaw with his palms and forcing his gaze on his. 

“Baby, you know I would never ever do that, right? I literally love you so much. You and the girls are my whole world. I think I would rather die than be with anyone else besides you. No, I know I would rather die than be with anyone else. You are literally perfect.” Javi pleaded, his concerned, big, brown puppy dog eyes making your heart melt. 

“Yes, Mr. Dramatic, I know you would never have a secret wife, but thank you for your very adamant confirmation.” You giggled, pressing up on your tiptoes to give him another kiss, washing the worry away from the concerned furrow of his brow. “You are such a goofball. I love you so much too, Jav. I promise, I’m not going anywhere either. Well, actually, that’s a lie. I do need to go to the bathroom before Fleetwood Mac comes on, but I will be right back.” 

“Okay, mi amor. I’ll be right here when you get back.” Javi nodded adamantly, knowing in his drunken state he would be taking his job of not leaving your seats very seriously until you safely returned. 

“I know you will, Javi. I’ll be quick, okay? Need anything when I’m gone? Besides another drink?” 

“How did you know I was gonna say I needed another drink?” Javi asked in complete shock, like you had just showed him the world’s most inconceivable magic trick. 

“I’d say the almost empty bottle was a good clue.” You winked, giving his arm a little squeeze before shimmying your way through the row of seats and up the stairs to find the nearest bathroom and concession stand. 

Normally, Javi wasn’t one to strike up small talk with strangers just for the fun of it, but with his lowered inhibitions, he couldn’t help but find himself turning to the group of women seated next to him to kill the time before you came back from the bathroom. 

“Have you guys seen Fleetwood Mac before?” Javi shrugged, finishing the last bit of beer at the bottom of his bottle. 

“Yeah, we’ve seen them a few times! They’re really good live!” One of the women responded, her friends nodding in agreement. 

“I’ve seen ‘em before too, but this is my wife and I’s first time seeing them together. She got me the tickets for my birthday, but she surprised me with how good these seats were. She’s amazing.” Javi beamed, subtly nodding his head to the music playing in the background between sets. 

“Awh, that’s so sweet!” One of the other women chimed in, the three women laughing to themselves at how drunk and awestruck Javi was over you. 

“It is. I hope they play Everywhere. It’s our favorite song by them. We played it at our wedding when she walked down the aisle and I bawled like a baby. She looked so beautiful. Who am I kidding? She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. Like, ever.” Javi’s grin was growing wider by the second, staring off into the distance as he rambled on about you. 

“Oh my goodness, you are so cute. She’s a lucky lady.” The women smiled, incredibly entertained by everything Javi had to say. 

“No. I’m the lucky one.” Javi responded, stone cold serious as he pointed to himself, finger poking his chest. “Have you seen her? She’s so pretty. And she married me! And on top of that, we have a family, too! Can you believe it?!” 

“With how in love with her you seem to be, I 100% can. How many kids do you have?” 

“3 daughters. Lucy is 5, Elliot just turned 3, and Harper is 7 months old.” Javi counted on his fingers, holding up 3 to represent each of his girls. “I love them so much. Being a dad is like, the most coolest thing ever. And she’s such a good mom. They’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

“Hey, Chatterbox.” You laughed, gently tapping Javi on the shoulder, trying not to startle him as he turned around, beaming from ear to ear at your presence. “Here is your drink and- oh!” 

“Osita! I missed you.” Javi swallowed the rest of your sentence in his mouth with a strong kiss, pulling away to greet you with a goofy grin, followed by a confused frown. “Wait, where did you go?” 

“Oh boy, we’re gonna have to pick some Gatorade and Tylenol up on the way home, aren’t we? I was just going to the bathroom, remember? And to get you another drink, silly goose.” You giggled, holding out his beer for him. 

“Oh shit. I should probably go to the bathroom, too. Do you think I have enough time to go? I don’t wanna miss anything with you!” Javi questioned frantically, realizing he definitely had not utilized the bathroom to the extent he probably should have. 

“You should be fine, babe. The lines were pretty short, so if you hurry I’m sure you’ll be back in plenty of time.” You reassured him. 

“Phew, okay, I can go fast, no problem. I’ll be right back, hermosa.” Carefully taking back his beer as he handed it off to you, Javi quickly scrambled through the crowd to follow the path you had just returned from, leaving you laughing to yourself and shaking your head. 

“We just wanted to let you know, your husband is absolutely adorable.” One of the women furthest away from you piped up, catching your attention. 

“Oh, um, thank you?” You replied, tilting your head in confusion. 

“That man is utterly obsessed with you. I think he had more nice things to say about you in 30 seconds to a group of strangers than any of my exes ever did combined.” 

“Girl, not to mention he is handsome. You are one lucky woman. Who knew it would take a stranger in love at a Fleetwood Mac concert to once again raise the bar for men.” 

“Wow, uh, thank you. That’s really nice of you. I’m not gonna lie, he’s pretty darn great.” You blushed, trying to keep your smile from spreading too wide at their compliments for Javi over his affection for you. 

“Of course. We won’t bother you anymore, but figured you’d like to know that your man is still head over heels for you. Enjoy the rest of the concert!” 

“Thanks, you guys too!” You smirked, your eyes darting down towards your feet to hide the red glow of your cheeks, your heart bursting with warmth from the fact that even in his drunken state, you found yourself falling harder and harder for Javi every day. 

Suddenly, the lights around the stage began to dim, the roar of the crowd overtaking the stadium, signaling Fleetwood Mac were only moments away from taking the stage. Instinctively, you peeked your head behind you through the crowd to look for Javi, relieved when you saw his broad figure hustling down the stairs, waving at you with a goofy grin the whole way. 

"I was worried I was gonna have to come find you before the show started!” You sighed, grabbing Javi’s face and giving his cheeks a playful squeeze before giving him a quick peck on the lips. 

“Osita, you know I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” 

Any high hopes that you had for the show were surpassed, and then some. The band played all of your favorites, the both of you singing and dancing along, probably making complete fools of yourselves, but you couldn’t care less. 

You were particularly impressed with Javi’s over dramatic stomping and air drumming to “The Chain” to kick off the show, having to grab his beer to keep it from spilling all over himself several times throughout his performance. Although incredibly offbeat, Javi's enthusiasm made up for any drunken lack of rhythm throughout the song.

The both of you couldn’t help but shout along to “I Don’t Wanna Know” at the top of your lungs, painfully off key and obnoxiously loud, Javi reaching down to grab your finger, wrapping his hands around it to use as his own makeshift microphone for the entire duration of the song. 

During “Landside”, you found Javi standing behind you, chest pressed to your back and arms wrapped around you as you swayed back and forth, gently wiping your tears and choking back his own as he whispered in your ear how lucky he was to build his life around you and your girls, mumbling something about how if any of the girls get married and pick this song to do a father daughter dance to, he’d be an absolute mess. 

By the end of the concert, you and Javi were both exhausted, giving every last ounce of energy to “Go Your Own Way”, the crowd erupting with thunderous applause as the show came to a close, lights flashing and confetti exploding from the ends of the stage in an array of bright colors in the same way your heart felt like it was exploding with joy from the incredible time you had with Javi. 

Over the cheers and hollers, Javi leaned in, cupping your cheek in his palm, the other arm wrapped around your waist pulling you closer to his chest, capturing you in a kiss that seemed to make time stop and everyone else disappear, feeling like in that moment, no one else existed but the two of you. 

“I love you so much, Osita.” 

”I love you too, Javi.”

“Tonight was- Oh shit, hold on,” Javi paused, letting out a long, low burp, a signature Drunk Javi move, placing his hand over his chest and letting out a long sigh before speaking again, “Sorry, that felt good. Wait, what was I saying again?” 

“That you had a lot of fun. I think it’s time that we get you home, cowboy.” You couldn’t help but snort at his impressive display of flatulence, wrapping your arm around his waist as you walked with the flow of the crowd departing from the stadium, hand patting his hip in reassurance. 

It wasn’t until you began to try and travel up the stairs and through the sea of concert goers that you realized just how drunk Javi was. While wrapping your arm around his hip had started off as a sweet gesture to help guide him in the right direction to leave, you began to worry that you were going to have to try and keep him up until the two of you got to the car. 

Thankfully, your humming, happy as can be Javi made it to your parking spot, breaking free of your grasp to race to your car, tugging at the driver’s side door with profound confusion at it’s locked state. 

“Hermosa! The car is locked! How are we gonna get home if we can’t get in?” Javi fretted, tugging harder at the door handle. 

“I have the keys, baby, don’t worry.” You laughed, reaching into your purse to unlock the truck’s doors, sending Javi stumbling backwards as the driver’s side swung open from his last tug at the handle. “Also, you are on the wrong side there, pendejo. I’m driving home, remember?” 

“Oh fuck, you are! I was gonna say, I think I’m a lil drunk. I probably shouldn’t drive.” Javi grimaced, quickly scampering to the other side of the car as you unlocked it, laughing as you watched him squeeze into the passenger set that was clearly set for your stature and not his. 

“I think you might be more than just a little drunk, baby.” You corrected, clicking in your seatbelt and firing up the ignition, peeling out of your parking spot. 

“Yeah, I’m a lot a bit drunk. I’m sorry, Osita.” He pouted, slumping his face in his hand, elbow resting on the center console. 

“Jav, why on earth would you possibly be sorry?” You frowned, wondering what Javi had to apologize for. 

“I’m sorry I’m so drunk and now you have to drive me home.” 

“Baby, I’m glad that you decided to get drunk. I wanted you to have a good time! Number one, you’re always driving me home whenever I wanna have fun and number two, it’s your birthday, and you deserve to let loose and have as much fun as you want to. Don’t apologize, okay?” You smiled, gently grabbing your hand in his and giving it a little squeeze, instantly flooding his face with relief. 

“Okay. I’m sorry I talked to those ladies sitting by us earlier while you were going to the bathroom, too. I was just trying to be nice. I just wanted to tell them how excited I was to see Fleetwood Mac with you, and how beautiful and amazing and perfect you are, and that you’re the best wife ever.” 

“I know Jav, it’s okay. I didn't even think twice about it. They were very sweet, and said you had lots of nice things to say about me and the girls. It was very cute.” You smirked, lifting your interlocked hands to your lips to plant a kiss on his knuckles, giving it an even tighter squeeze of reassurance in the process. 

At this point, Javi had practically melted into the passenger seat, limbs spread out as wide as he could to try and get comfortable, tilting his head towards you with a mischievous grin and sparkle in his chocolate brown eyes. 

“You know what we should do when we get home?” Javi asked, now biting down on his lip to try and subdue his smirk. 

“I don’t know Javi, what should we do?” You responded back mockingly. 

“We shoulddddddddd....” He paused, dancing in his seat in excitement.

“We shoulddddddd, what, baby?” You sighed, laughing to yourself at his drunken goofiness. 

“We shouldddddd throw away your birth control and make another baby when we get home tonight.” Now Javi was full on beaming in an ear to ear grin, raising his eyebrows at you as he crossed his arms over his chest, trying to find any way to warm you up to his intoxicated acquisition. 

“Javi! We talked about this!” You scolded, giving him a playful slap to his chest, doing nothing to wipe his stupidly wide smirk off his face. “4 kids is a lot of kids. At least one of us can have a spare hand with 3, even if we’re outnumbered. I think 3 is the magic number, babe.” 

“I knowwwww, but making babies with you is like, the best thing ever. If you asked me to list my favorite things to do, that would be number one, no question.” Javi protested, convinced that this argument alone would be enough of a selling point for you. 

“Believe me, you’re not wrong, Jav. It’s a ten out of ten pastime, but even if I stopped taking my birth control tonight, I don't think it would happen, ya goof.” 

“Crazier things have happened. Maybe we'd just get really lucky. Our daughters are so cute. I know it’s unfair to say because they’re our kids, but like, we make some cute fuckin’ babies, Hermosa. What if we made another super cute baby? Just like, one more?” At this point, Javi had broken out his signature pout and big baby cow eyes, looking at you like a stray puppy who had been kicked to the curb. 

“Another adorable baby means I’m gonna have to build up my immunity to those sweet, sad, puppy dog eyes even more, and I honestly don’t know if I’m strong enough. I don’t know how all 3 of the girls ended up with your big brown eyes, but I hope you know it’s killing me slowly because of how frickin’ cute they are.” You sighed in defeat, knowing that your willpower with 3 sets of Javi’s mini-me’s was already low enough, let alone adding a 4th pair to the mix. 

“Soooooooooo it’s a maybe?” 

“Oh my god, you are so bad, Javier Jesus Peña.” 

“That’s not a yes or a no, Osita.” 

“....Maybe. But don’t get your hopes up, okay?” 

“So we’re not not gonna make a baby tonight?” 

“Javi, I love you, baby, but with how much you’ve had to drink, I don’t think nature is going to give you enough grace to even let that possibility play out.” You snorted, gesturing down to his crotch, making him roll his eyes. 

“Okay, that only happened one other time!” Javi sloppily pointed at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, when you were absolutely hammered after Steve’s 40th birthday party and wouldn’t let me put you to bed until you could prove to me that you did not, in fact, get whiskey dick, to which you fell asleep with your hands down your pants sitting in the guest room chair, unable to prove your point.” 

“That was not my proudest moment, I will admit that. Most of the time, I’m pretty good at sex, though.” Javi retorted, trying to bring himself back from your last point made. 

“Yes, Jav, you’re very good at sex.” You agreed, patting him on the leg and rubbing his thigh. 

“So good…. That we should make another baby tonight when we get home.” 

“Oh my god.” 

“I’m just saying!” 

“Jesus Christ, you goof. I think when we get home, someone needs to drink some water and get into bed. I love you very much, but that’s about as far as we’re getting tonight.” You laughed, rustling the messy curls of his hair as he leaned his head to rest against your shoulder. 

Javi sat silent for a moment, watching the headlights of the cars flash through his window, staring into the serene darkness of the clear night sky, the familiar warmth of his body pressed against yours in a comfortable calm. It was almost as if you could feel his eyelids beginning to droop, slowly closing while his sleepy state washed over him as he nestled against you. And while in that moment, the air between you hung quiet, you could hear the silent agreement that if given the choice, there was nowhere else you’d rather be than right here, right now, with each other. 

“Hey, Hermosa?” 

“Yeah, Jav?” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“....Enough that we should make another baby tonight?” 

“Javi!”

Taglist:

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@samgirl4life @pigeonmama @survivingandenduring @itsokbbygrl @javierpena-inatacvestnotifs

[subwaysurf45]

Team Bucky

Summary: your secret relationship with Bucky slips out. Everyone else in the compound is happy for you both but your brother - or really your grandfather - is not pleased at all, all you can do is try and live normally with Bucky and attempt to fix things with Steve. 

Words: 6k

warnings: SMUT: passionate sex, unprotected, very loving, aftercare. arguing, yelling, swearing, protective Bucky. 

a/n: heyyy, yeah I’ve been away for a while, this semester as been kicking my ass. anyways, I’m on winter break and have finally gotten my spark for writing back, I’ve been writing a lot of essays so writing for fun was not fun for a while. I hope you enjoy and I will try to post as often as I can!

There had always been a secret one-upping game going on between Steve and Bucky, it was something everyone had exempted and went along with. There would be countless times when they’d add more and more weight to their bars in order to prove their dominance to each other, or spar with one another until someone gets hurt.

At galas, Steve would be walking around with a trail of women behind him, showing off his skills with the ladies. That didn’t mean anything to Bucky, he would love to get laid more often or get a girlfriend but the ability to make women think they are into you and then drop them like a dead weight isn't appealing.

There were probably things Bucky did to get on Steve’s nerves that Steve didn’t care for. They didn’t do it all the time, just friendly competition. They had been friends for years and years, someone’s weight being a little higher couldn’t even cause a crack in their friendship.

But what Bucky was doing recently would.

There you were, sitting alone in the office as you filled out a debrief of your last mission. The computers were high tech but that didn’t mean they were super fast, most of the time you sat there waiting for anything to load, and seeing the logo in the top corner was a miracle.

“How’s that arm?” Bucky asked as he walked in, acting like he hadn’t been standing outside the door practicing what he was going to say.

“Hard to type with-aw, Bucky…” you pouted and saw the two steaming mugs in his hand, “stop, that’s so sweet!” you reached forward and picked up your favourite mug, looking at Bucky with wide eyes as he pulled out the chair beside you and sat down. “This is going to take forever, Bucky, you don’t-”

“I’m good,” Bucky sighed as he brought his mug right against his bottom lip to blow, “nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“You’re all soft” you giggled and turned back to your computer, “I do need to focus though, no distractions.”

“You have my word,” Bucky smiled and leaned back in his chair, “I’m just here for moral support.”

You just nodded, he loved the face you made when you tried to fight back being flustered. Your bottom lip was clenched tightly between your teeth to fight back a smile while you tried to cover your face and block Bucky from seeing your slight change in colour. The warmth that spread all throughout your body caused you to curl into yourself, he noticed that whenever he complimented you at all you wouldn't know how to react, telling Bucky you weren’t being complimented enough.

That’s how it started, casual compliments and conversation between you two. Trying to get to know you because there was this imaginary wall up for many reasons, you didn’t like to let people into your life because of how much you had lost and something more pressing…

You were Steve’s granddaughter, factually. But you two acted like siblings because you were a little younger than Steve’s age from when he was frozen. Nonetheless, you were related.

Which also meant off-limits.

Bucky really tried to cut himself off but you were his drug, he couldn’t get enough of you. It didn’t help that you were very honest early on about being into him. When Bucky initiated conversations and would give you little touches here and there you were quick to give them back. The first time you played with his hair gave him shivers running up and down his spine but also caused his brain to go fuzzy.

You were alone in the movie room, you always watched some film every Thursday night to keep a schedule. He had come back from a mission hours ago and still managed to make his way down just to sit beside you, and he did but he realized he was too tired to do anything.

He wanted you to cuddle into him and he’d rub your back or whisper little things to just you, but his eyes couldn’t stay open.

“You’re so tired, Bucky-bear,” you whispered and threw your arm around him and to the other side of his head, gently pushing him to place his head on your shoulder, “you can go to sleep if you want,” you whispered.

His body was on his last reserve, not thinking straight at all. “Can I put my head on your chest, your shoulder is too boney,” he’d kick himself for that one in the morning. When you giggled and moved he seemed to sink into you more, wrapping both arms around you and nuzzling into your chest. Everything was so comfy he barely registered that his face was deep between your boobs, you didn’t move or say anything until… “you’re so pillowy,” he muttered.

“But my shoulder is boney?” you shook your head, “you can just say you like my boobs, most people do.”

“They’re great,” he nodded.

Your hand moved from his back and went up his scalp from his neck, earning a groan when you started to fluff around his hair and scratch somewhat intensely on his scalp. He was out before the beginning credits ended, snoring before the middle of the movie. Part of you felt this overwhelming feeling of something you couldn’t describe, Bucky Barnes, a man riddled with nightmares and trauma, constantly on high alert was asleep on your chest. The big man could dwindle down into a guy who has never once felt the touch of love from a significant other. The fact that he trusted you with the power made you proud, it made you like him just a little more.

“How much longer,” he sighed from his starfish position on the floor, being overly dramatic to try to get you to look away. You giggled and finally looked over your shoulder, scoffing at his dramatics.

“Go to bed, I’ll sneak in later.” You shook your head, “and one page left.”

Bucky sighed and sat up, staying on the ground and watching you work. It took a while but soon you were finished, reading it over before submitting it. Bucky helped you pack all your stuff away, holding your bag for you, he did that a lot, never wanting you to do any heavy lifting. Your eyes were barely open as you left the room with Bucky leading you out, you both headed down the hall and to the elevator.

“You still want to sleep with me?” Bucky asked when the door was completely closed, you were too tired to say anything, keeping your head resting against his arm and nodded slightly. “Alright, I think there is still a sweater you left in the room.”

You groaned and looked up, “your clothes please,” Bucky giggled after you whispered. The door opened and you both walked out, him wrapping an arm around you to keep you steady. “I also want to be little spoon please.”

Out of nowhere, a voice came from behind them, “watch your hands, Barnes,” it was Steve.

Bucky turned around but kept his hand where it was, “guess where I just found her?” Steve looked at your tired state, “little miss just finished her report is only going to bed now, I was walking her to her room to make sure she doesn’t pass out on her floor.”

Steve smiled a proud smile. He caught up to them and also helped you walk, subconsciously you leaned more towards Bucky at this moment, thinking of how you’d be cuddling with him soon. Bucky played along and brought you into your room, Steve was very adamant they both left before you got into your pajamas. Bucky couldn’t say no even though he had seen you naked, he had to play along.

Bucky went into his room and waited with the door unlocked, after five minutes you slipped in and found him in the bathroom. Both of you brushed your teeth beside one another, he had one arm around you while you looked at each other through the mirror.

In your opinion, his bed was much more comfortable, choosing to sleep there more often than your own bed. Both of you cuddled in close, you were practically laying on top of him with your head tucked into his neck.

“I love you, Bucky-Bear,” you mumbled, snuggling closer to him.

“I love you too, baby,” he whispered into your hair, leaving a few kisses after. “You make me so happy, I can’t explain it,” you both giggled as he tickled you.

The secret life with Bucky was great and terrible at the same time. There was a different side to Bucky that he didn’t show the team, he was much softer and more extroverted. When you’d sneak out for dates he’d always be the ordering and making conversation with the waiter because he felt safer at that moment. But at the same time, you still had to go on dates by sneaking out. Steve would kill you if he found out the two of you were seeing each other even though it had been going on for a while you both knew it wasn’t a joke. Your heart would still fall when Bucky had to drop your hand when someone else walked in a room, and both of you would grow envious of the couples openly displaying affection at galas.

The idea of telling Steve grew larger by the day because you knew it was bound to happen, part of you wanted to tell him before getting caught so it didn’t look like Bucky was just a hook-up to you. Yes, Steve would kill you but he would also tear Bucky apart because there were rules, apparently. Any type of family member was off-limits, even if Steve found a distant cousin of Bucky’s they would still be a no-go; but you knew that rule was just for you because you were all Steve had left when it came to family.

********

Steve and Bucky were sparring in the ring as you and a couple of other agents went to various machines during your workout. You couldn’t help but look over at them as they fought extremely hard against one another, there was no reason to give each other a broken nose but they did it anyway.

“Can I work in?” Sammy asked you, he had graduated from the academy the same year as you. You wouldn’t consider yourselves friends but you’d smile at each other in the hall and keep up with families.

“Of course,” you stood up from just sitting on the seat as you took your break, leaning down and picking up your water bottle. Absentmindedly you looked over to see the both of them fighting, Sammy must have noticed.

“I don’t get the game between the two of them,” he grunted, “I get it from a male perspective as in you constantly want to impress your friends but sometimes it gets bad, like what are they even doing right now?” he referenced both of them limping around the ring as they circled one another.

“Boys!” you shouted and they both looked at you, “quit putting on a show for us and just act like normal people for once in your life!” you cupped both hands around your mouth.

Bucky looked shocked, “we’re just playing around, relax!” he sassed you back, it was clear on your face you didn’t enjoy what he said, “oh come on, you always get like this, give us a break!”

“Watch it!” Steve snapped, “you better watch how you talk to my sister.” Steve looked back at you, “and you!” he pointed in your direction, “let the grown men handle their things, please.”

Bucky scoffed, “you better watch how you talk to my girlfriend.”

At that moment the world stopped. Steve whipped his head around to Bucky and just stared at him while Sammy dropped the handhelds for the machine, letting out a loud clunk. Bucky’s eye shifted towards you in what felt like slow motion as an apologetic look grew on his face, your metal water bottle slipped from your fingers and fell on your foot.

“Fuck!” the feeling of a throbbing big toe pulled you from your trance, all you heard was more commotion in front of you but you were looking down.

“You’re fucking my sister?!” Steve yelled and caused all the agents to run out of the gym, including Sammy who quickly patted your shoulder before bolting out. Bucky tried to run over to you to help with the toe injury but was stopped after Steve’s fist collided with Bucky’s throat. “You don’t get to even look at her anymore, I’ll take your fucking eyes out you pervert!”

“Steve!” you hobbled over and ran up to the ring, slipped under and grabbed Bucky’s head that was unmoving on the boxing ring floor, “you knocked him unconscious, Steve,” you gasped and pulled Bucky’s head to your thighs as you sat back on your heels, “you could have damaged his windpipe.”

“He won’t need one after he wakes up and I fully-”

“It’s not like he forced me, Steve,” You looked up at your brother, “we’ve been dating for a long time and it’s not just sex, it’s an actual romantic connection that both of our consent to, it’s actual dating!” you gently tapped Bucky’s cheek to wake him up, “don’t frame him or me to be a slut because all we do are normal dating things,” Steve’s face was red as he saw you carding through Bucky’s hair, he was starting to groan and stir.

“Both of you are dead to me,” Steve spat, “he broke the only rule I set up to protect you.”

“I don’t need to be protected from Bucky, and you know that.” you harshly whipped your head around again, “and I know you’re hurt and exaggerating, just walk away.” That was the last time you looked up at Steve, all your focus was on Bucky starting to wake up in your lap. As he groaned and slowly brought his fingers up to his nose your eyes began to water, this was exactly your worst-case scenario.

Bucky’s eyes cracked open and immediately closed again, “baby,” he mumbled, “don’t cry, please, don’t cry,” he reached up to swipe away your tears but completely missed your face, most likely seeing double. “I slipped up,” now Bucky was starting to cry, “my fault.”

You gently pulled him up in a hug and Bucky accepted it, continuously apologizing for what he had just done. Every time you’d quiet him or try to shift his train of thought but he’d make his way back there every time. After a while you got him on his feet and took him to med bay, many people came up to you and asked if everything was alright, you just nodded and kept walking.

“What happened!” Natasha was in med bay when you arrived, filling out discharge paperwork for herself, “Bucky, that looks really broken,” her fingers ghosted over his nose which caused him to wince backwards, “sorry.”

“Yeah,” you sighed and sat him on the cot, calling over a nurse who began examining, “just…going too hard with the sparring.”

Natasha shook her head, “but no one goes that hard, we all pull our punches except when it’s Steve and- oh my god…” she trailed off and looked at Bucky who was preparing to get his nose snapped back in place, “did Steve find out?”

“My fault,” Bucky cried, holding the sheet as he waited for the nurse to fix his nose.

“It’s not your fault, it was a mistake and yeah this is shitty but it will figure itself out.” you looked over your shoulder and immediately gave Bucky your hand, seeing his white knuckles gripping his sheets.

******

It had been a week and Steve refused to speak to either of you unless it was in a professional setting, even then, he’d be snarky whenever he would talk to you. He meant what he said, you really were dead to him. Part of you thought he’d just be mad at Bucky and get overprotective of you but that never happened, he viewed you like dirt; like how he looks at Bucky.

Bucky could see how it took a toll on you, it broke his heart to see you staring off into space after Steve passed by without looking at you. All Bucky could do was hold you closer, but deep down he blamed himself for letting it slip. Every tear, every longing glance, every hope he’d come around was all his fault.

He found you today curled up in bed, Bucky slipped in behind you and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into his chest. “Everything will simmer sooner or later,” he whispered into your ear.

“I just-...” you sighed and buried your head into your pillow further, “he’s my only family, when he wanted to reconnect with me he was so adamant on making sure I came back to the tower with him, so he could have a sister,” Bucky rolled you over so you were facing him, “and now…I do something for me that makes me happy, you make me so happy, and I’m punished for it.”

Bucky planted a gentle kiss on your forehead, pulling you into another hug and letting you feel his warmth and comfort. “I will personally fix all of this, I will find a way, don’t worry, alright?” Bucky pulled back so he could see you nod, “alright?”

You nodded and Bucky kissed you again, crawling out of bed when you fell asleep. He knew where Steve was, and even though his nose had held quickly doesn’t mean he won’t get another broken nose from what he was about to do. Steve was always in the computer room, just like you. There was always something to be done when it came to paperwork and Steve had the energy for it.

Bucky stayed close to the wall and pressed his back against it, leaning over the corner to see Steve typing away at the computer near the back. Bucky pulled back and fully leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath.

Nat: We’re taking y/n out for a girl’s night, just want to let you know!

Bucky: keep me updated, and don’t let her get too drunk, please

Nat: don’t worry!

After shutting off his phone he slipped it into his pocket and took another deep breath. After mustering enough courage Bucky fully turned the corner and walked up to “Steve,” Bucky stood before him, “we need to talk.”

Steve gave nothing, he almost looked up at Bucky but it was just a flinch.

“Silent treatment?” Bucky scoffed, “that works for me to explain my side of the story without you verbally- or who knows - physically breaking me.” Steve huffed, Bucky looked at the chair but decided to stand. “I’ve been dating your sister for about a year and she’s made me the happiest man in the world,” Bucky fiddled with his fingers, “and I know we made rules and all that but this isn’t about that, we can discuss that later.” Bucky saw Steve was no longer typing but simply staring at his screen. “Steve, your sister misses you so much, she’s been curled up in bed crying about losing you, feeling punished for letting herself love someone, she’s kicking herself for something that was all my fault; I slipped up and y/n should be the last one to pay for it.” Bucky gave in and pulled up a chair, making Steve look at him, “I don’t care if we never talk again but my girlfriend is hurting and that’s what’s been killing me the most, so just talk to her, please?”

Bucky sat there, looking at his vacant face. After a sigh, Bucky rubbed his face and stood up, tucking in the chair. He ran his fingers through his hair, “y/n’s out for drinks with a couple of the girls,” Bucky said, “so she’s not here if you were thinking of talking to her.” Bucky left after that, knowing Steve wasn’t going to say anything.

When you stumbled back inside Bucky was quick to catch you, “what did I say about not letting her get stupid drunk?” Natasha just giggled and Bucky couldn’t help but smirk at all the ladies making their way to the kitchen. “How’s my baby?” Bucky whispered into your ear which caused you to get coy and curl into him, “are you a little cuddly, huh?” his finger made its way under your chin which caused you to giggle. You jumped on him to wrap your legs around his hips.

“I love you, Bucky-Bear,” you hugged him tightly, “we can run away together and never worry about anything ever again, do you want to run away with me?” you kissed Bucky’s neck as he walked into the kitchen to see them all eating chips and cookies.

“Sure we can,” he moved his head so you’d detach your lips from his neck and just cuddle into him.

Bucky stood with the group and held you like you were nothing, laughing and talking while the girls did their debrief at the kitchen island, talking about the songs and the dancing. Bucky kept you in his arms but placed you down so you were sitting on the island, letting your legs and arms wrap around him. You weren’t talking that much, Bucky looked over after five minutes of nothing to see you sleeping with your face on his shoulder.

“She did start to cry,” Natasha said sadly, “she had a lot of pent-up emotion and our uber cancelled on us twice so she was just really frustrated, but we all know she wasn’t crying about the uber.”

“Yeah,” Bucky sighed and rubbed your back, “I talked to Steve and told him to stop hurting her, you know?” Bucky looked at Nat and she nodded, “like he can be mad at me for as long as he likes, but stop doing this to your own sister, I can’t stand to see her like this, it’s awful.”

“I know,” Nat was the only one invested in the conversation, everyone else would forget this in the morning. “I feel like it’s borderline…I don’t want to say slut shaming but I can’t understand why he would be mad at her, I feel like he’d blame it all on you and only take it out on you- I know you didn’t do this but I thought he was going to pull the ‘you coerced my sister into dating you’ card… I really don’t understand his silent treatment,” Nat sighed and took a swig from her water bottle.

“I guess,” Bucky sighed and picked you up, having to hold you tightly because you were asleep and unable to squeeze your legs around his waist. “I’m going to get her ready for bed,” Bucky tried his best to smile, “I really appreciate you, Nat, she needed this.”

“She did,” Nat ran her fingers over your hair, “as much as she’s going to hate the hangover I think she really drained her emotions out and just let go for a moment,” Nat smiled at Bucky, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Bucky left the kitchen, the moment he turned he turned the corner he saw Steve. He was trying to slip away after eavesdropping but Bucky caught him, all Bucky could do was keep walking; he’s said his piece.

“Is she ok?” Steve finally spoke as Bucky passed him with his chin up.

“From being shunned by her brother or her night out?” Bucky snapped, not even looking at Steve and heading to his room down the hall.

After making it to his room he got you ready for bed, cuddling up next to you and holding you close. He had already gotten the water and painkillers ready for tomorrow morning. All he could do now is hold you, making you as comfortable as possible.

As Bucky lay there with your head on his chest, hearing your drunk snores, he thought about Steve. Bucky reminisced all the days together, growing up and finding one another again. Part of him questioned if all of their history went away the moment he found out, was this really the breaking point for Steve? All he wanted was for you to be happy with your brother but selfishly, he wanted his friend back.

“I can, like, hear your brain,” you mumbled and hugged him tighter, “we’ll figure this out in the morning, just forget it happened and hold me normally, please.”

Bucky couldn’t help but smile, he rolled you both on your sides and kept you wrapped up. Getting into the familiar position his eyes started to feel heavy, and soon sleep took over.

********

Bucky stood in the kitchen by himself, sipping his coffee and watching the eggs and bacon cook. It has been two days since you had gotten drunk and Bucky talked to Steve, nothing had come out of Bucky’s attempt to get Steve to talk to you.

He could tell you were becoming depressed from losing your brother, the two of you were inseparable so it hurt a lot to have him cleanly break away from you. But all Bucky could do was continue to support you, and he did that by making you breakfast.

He flipped both eggs and poked at the bacon, trying not to have the grease spit back out at him, you were currently at the gym but he’d already be back in the room before you were done.

All at once, Sam ran into the kitchen, covered in sweat. “Barnes!” he yelled, “your girl is screaming at Steve in the gym-”

“Shit!” Bucky dropped everything and ran, quickly turning around and moving everything off the element while turning the stove top off. Bucky followed Sam all the way to the gym and busted through the door, immediately hearing your raging voice. “Everyone out!” he yelled at the agents standing and watching.

“Bucky, I can do this on my own!” you snapped at him, caught up in the anger towards your brother.

“I’m well aware,” Bucky put both of his hands out, “I’m just giving you two privacy, that’s all, love.” Bucky nodded when he saw you relax your shoulders, “I’m going to be right outside when you’re done, alright?”

Steve turned to Bucky, “you really love her?” he asked.

Bucky slowly tilted his head to the side, “I’ve been dating her for a year, crushing on her for two, and being fully hypnotized by her for three the moment she showed up to this place.” He looked at you, “can I keep going, or do you want this to still be you?”

“See,” you looked at Steve, “he cares about me, on a personal level that no one ever has,” you threw your arms in the air, “you need to accept this or I will have no problem sticking with Bucky.”

“You’d turn your back on your family?” Steve laughed to himself, “you’d seriously stay with him rather than your own brother-”

“You’re not even really my fucking brother, Steve!” the anger was making you jump in your spot, “when you found out I was related to you, you chose to keep me in your life, it was quick because you knew how much family meant to you,” you walked over to Bucky, taking his hand in yours, “well he’s my family now, and when shit got rough Bucky was not the one to run away, Steve…” you looked up at Bucky who couldn’t take his eyes off of Steve, “we can go now,” you whispered to him.

Bucky walked with you to your room, completely forgetting the breakfast he had made to lighten your day. The entire time you were talking about how much lighter you felt, having the ability to scream at him even though no solution was reached. As he listened to you his heart broke, you tried so hard to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal when in reality it was, you just weren’t letting yourself fully feel it yet.

Right as the door to your shared room closed you spun and pushed Bucky up against the wall, “I love you,” you breathed before kissing him harshly, it took Bucky three seconds before pulling away and trying to ask if you were alright, “I want passionate sex right now, I want you to fuck me, baby.”

“Woah,” Bucky whispered, “you’re not…honey, you’re not in the right mindset right now, this is not-”

“Please, Bucky,” you whined and dropped down to your knees, running your hand up and down his thighs, “I really want this.”

“Are you sure?” Bucky asked, shamefully getting hard. When you nodded he picked you up and threw you on the bed, “you tell me if you want to stop, alright?”

“I never want to stop,” you whispered into his ear before sucking on his ear lobe, moving down to kiss his neck.

“Do you want me to go down on you-”

“I’m already wet, just go,” you moaned, blindly reaching down and beginning to work on his pants.

The moment Bucky entered you, you pulled him close, letting his entire body weight crush you in a soothing sort of way. At first, his face was right before yours, kissing you every so often but really just wanting to look at you.

“Pretty girl,” he groaned and tucked his face in your neck, “fuck, I love you, it’s always been you, it’ll always be you, honey- holy fuck!” his hands were moving around, feeling you and touching you all over. “You’re fucking perfect, made for me, I got you,” he sucked harshly on your neck, “I’ll always protect you, and love you, and just-I’m gonna cum, honey.”

“Me too!” you threw your head back, “I love you, Bucky,” your fingers were splayed across his back, “all I want is to run away with you, just you.” your words of love quickly shifted in moans, all you could do was let yourself get lost in the moment.

Bucky had a strong aura, it was one that made you feel protected but also reminded you that he was your rock. Passionate sex with Bucky was something else, he could get you to your peak faster than anyone just because of how much love you feel as he whispers in your ear.

The moment you both let go was a moment of pure bliss, all you could do was dig your nails further into Bucky’s back as he rode out his own high. He stilled after finishing and just stayed there, keeping his head in your neck. While he whispered praises to you, part of you filled with love, an overwhelming amount.

“I love you, Bucky,” you tried to sound put together but the moment the words left your lips Bucky looked up at you, seeing tears stream down your face, “I’m not crying because I didn’t want it, it’s just…” you could see him freaking out, “it’s not you, it’s left over emotion from that fight.”

Bucky nodded and stayed where he was until you began to shift, he wiped you down and got beside you in bed after a while. He made sure you had enough water in your cup beside you and you were warm enough under those sheets. There were a few more sniffles, you’d wipe your face in the shirt Bucky put on because he was cold.

“I just want things to work out,” you cried, “why can’t he see I’m happy and just be happy for me?” your arms hugged Bucky tightly, feeling him hug you back just as tight.

“We’ll figure it out,” his lips brushed against your ear, “everything will work out, you just need to sleep, alright?”

It didn’t take much to knock you out.

********

Bucky’s mission was taking longer than expected but he wasn’t in any danger, his communications back to the compound were perfect with his updates. You weren’t allowed to know where he was or what he was doing but you were allowed time-frame updates, all because you held the title of ‘family’ for his file.

You stood at the stove with an apron on, it had caught three splashes which you were grateful for. The pasta sauce was bubbling so it was close to being done, you had gotten an update saying he was coming home in the middle of the night. If you or Bucky had a mission that ended late the other person would leave a meal in the fridge for when they got home, something easy to throw in the microwave.

“Hey,” you knew that voice from anywhere.

“Hi, Steve,” you said with your back to him. Nothing had changed since then and it had been over two months, Steve was slowly starting to adapt to you and Bucky showing affection in public but he still didn’t talk to you more than he needed to.

“What are you making?” you heard him pull out a bar standing at the island.

You were past trying to reconcile with him, he was the one acting like a child. “Pasta sauce, for Bucky,” you quickly added.

“Oh yeah, I heard he’s coming home tonight,” you could hear how uneasy Steve was, the way his voice slightly shook as he spoke to you.

You could feel his eyes burning holes in your back but you paid no mind, continuing to stir the pot and dodge the few bubbles. “Yep, late.”

“Yep…” Steve sighed but didn’t move, you could hear him just sit there.

Trying to meet him halfway was exhausting, it seemed there was nothing you could do to make him feel better except break up with Bucky. That wasn’t going to happen, it also helped that Bucky was very mature during this, always communicating with you about how he felt and if you needed anything. It further proved how immature Steve was, seeing that a man the same age was able to deal with their emotions perfectly.

FRIDAY came through on the speakers, “Sargent James’ jet is landing now.”

You spun around with a gasp, “he was supposed to be here at three in the morning,” you completely blew past Steve and ran to the land spot, laughing to yourself as you pictured hugging him.

The moment you opened the doors Bucky was already running to you, “there’s my girl!” he yelled and wrapped his arms around you the moment he could reach you, “no injuries for me, how was the month?” he whispered.

“Same as always,” you sighed, “but I’m so happy you’re home,” you nuzzled into his chest.

“He followed you outside, what’s that about?” you didn’t look over your shoulder, trusting Bucky was right. After pulling out of a hug Bucky called, “what are you doing out here?” towards Steve.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he was talking to Bucky, “I need to go for a walk with you.”

“Whatever you need to say can be said in front of y/n as well, bud,” Bucky wrapped his arm around you, “seeing as the situation involves her.”

“Look,” Steve walked up and rubbed the back of his neck, “I don’t fully approve of this but I do like the way you’re treating her, Buck, so…” he was awkward, not knowing how to word this because it seemed like a heat of the moment speech. “Yeah, I’m warming up to it.”

“Alright,” Bucky looked down at you, “I mean, that’s great but it doesn’t change anything about us, like,” Bucky laughed through the tension, “we’ve moved on like adults, I can honestly say we don’t care about what you think.”

“That’s a little intense,” you quickly added, “but I think what Bucky is trying to say is that we don’t need updates like this that you’re warming up to us dating because we are still going to date the same, your comfort is not a factor in our relationship.” you nodded and saw Steve’s face go red, “I hope one day we can be friends again and be buddies like before but right now, it’s team Bucky.”

Steve didn’t say anything else, he just watched you walk inside.

“Team Bucky?” he giggled in your ear, “I like it.”

You looked up at Bucky, “I have pasta sauce cooking, we can have it for dinner together.”

“Sounds good,” he kissed the crown of your head with his arm still wrapped around your waist, “can I make you a jersey that says team Bucky because I honestly love that?”

You laughed and fell into his side, “go for it,” he kissed you, “because it’s true.”

Main Masterlist  

Taglist: tag list:  @imtherain @jackiehollanderr @redneckstrash @tylard-blog1 @readingbooksdrinkingtea @linzc-reader @hotleaf-juice @honeybunchesofbucky @sky0401 @striving4averagegirl @seybox @yaszx @happyt0exist @honeybunchesofbucky @munsonettee @searchf0rtheskyline @aya-fay @emi11ie @wbyss​ 

if you would like to be added to the general tallest send as ask, I won’t respond but don’t worry - I’ve seen it!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi, Miss Raven! Since you seem to be a Leona fan, can you explain what his plan and goal was in book 2?

Eh… I don’t think being a Leona fan is a prerequisite to understand his motives and plan 😅 AND FOR THE RECORD, I DOn’T LIKE KINgSCHOLAR, OKAy??????? (<- tsundere)

It’s spelled out pretty plainly in book 2, albeit in a sort of scattered way. Here’s the Sparknotes:

Many of Savanaclaw students tend to get picked up by professional magift/spelldrive scouts at the inter-dorm tournament. However, they haven’t been able to stand out recently because Diasomnia (and more specifically Malleus) crushes them in their matches. This has made many Savanaclaw students worry about their futures once they graduate. Leona, being the dorm leader, decides to cook up a plan to help his dorm members.

Importantly, Leona also has complex selfish motives (which, sadly, are not fully explored in the game). He, being the scorned second born prince of his country, was put down his entire life and compared to his older brother in spite of him constantly trying to demonstrate his merits. His whole bid in book 2, then, is partly fueled by a personal disdain for Malleus, wanting to help his dorm out, and that desire to prove he has what it takes to be a “leader”. This is his time to shine—and that’s why he reacts so poorly when his plan falls through. This failure is, to him, just another kick to the teeth, another reminder that he was so stupid to have had any hope at all, that he shouldn’t have even bothered trying. (The light novel explains Leona’s innermost feelings a lot better than the game does, so I’d recommend that you read this post for more context!)

Anyway, Leona decides to use dirty tactics to get their main rivals and most threatening opposing players out of the way so Savanaclaw can have the spotlight. He has Ruggie use his UM, Laugh with Me (which allows him to force others to mimic his own body movements), to injure other students who may pose a threat in the tournament. Notable casualties include Jamil from Scarabia and Trey from Heartslabyul. The ultimate goal, however, is to take out Malleus.

Leona made a deal with Azul in preparation for his attack on Malleus. He basically forks over a lot of money in exchange for a magic enhancing potion. The idea is that Ruggie will take this potion, which will magnify his UM and allow him to control a lot more people at once. When Malleus comes out, Ruggie will control the bodies of all the spectators in the arena and they’re supposed to… trample Malleus I guess? (It’s not clear if Leona’s intention was to outright kill Malleus this way or just to incapacitate him to the point where he cannot participate in the tournament.)

Leona reasons that Malleus would not be able to use his magic on civilians, so he would be caught in a position where he cannot escape, but… well, let’s just say there’s a reason why book 2 is commonly regarded as the “worst” of the main story. There are SO many plot holes book 2 might as well be swiss cheese 😭 Like, what the heck is stopping Malleus from teleporting away??? Or using magic to heal himself back to full health if he did get injured??

Leona’s plan is so stupid and unimpressive in book 2 that it makes HIM also look stupid and unimpressive. I always, always have to get a dig in whenever I discuss this part of the main story because it makes me SO salty. It’s such a half assed introduction to Leona as a character and it forever stains his legacy… 💢 You’ll find many book 2 rewrite/fix-it posts and fics because of this. (I have one of my own; you can read that here!)

[theresivy]

PLEASE HELP: SIGNAL B*OST, D*NATE, OR C*MMISSION ME!!

Listed below are the TL;DR, How to Help, and Full story/Context. I’m sorry I had to resort to this but i have no other choice.

TL;DR version

Please help a mentally disabled fan artist’s family to pay for medical debts for c*ncer, insulin, maintenance meds (for depression, anxiety, etc), and cat food

How to Help

D*nations!!! - I only have P*yPal (also thru K*-fi) and GC*sh! Please dm me for the link or QR code

C*mmission me!!! - I really hate asking for help with nothing to give in return, so preferably please c*mmission me. I havent updated my new set of c*mmission sheet samples BUT heres a short, quick version attached on my post as a pic.

B*y my let-go collection of merchandise!!! (PH-based only please and sorry) - In order to try and make up for the em*tional ab*se me and my mom have to go thru on a daily basis just by living with dad, I ended up in a downward spiral and tried to buy things impulsively since 2020. So, now, we’re paying the price and I have been deeply regretting it ever since. So, plsase please please help buy my palugi (selling for a loss) let-go merchandise, theyre mostly official and am selling for a loss, we badly need the space and especially the funds. Weve only sold less than a half of my stock and it doesnt help that my dad keeps mocking me about it.

Share and S*gnal boost!!! - Tumblr is the only site where i have somewhat of an audience. Please please please help reblog, share, and signal boost.

Full Story/Context

Hi, I’m Theresivy (Teh-reese-ivy), I have been depressed and mentally impaired (among other things) who draws art as a multifandom self-taught fan artist, As of 2020 my mom’s tumor has turned into cancer that has only been given medical attention to in 2022 onwards. And as of then, i have indefinitely become a N,E.E.T for my mom and our finance’s sake while being there by her side. As of now she has gone through FOUR surgeries because more and more unexpected complications keep popping up. She doesnt deserve this, why couldnt it have been me,

We live with my emotionally abusive and manipulative dad (her husband) and our two fur daughters Pancake and Waffles (of which my cats and mom mean more than the world to me) while being forced to live in one of the countless apartment complexes my equally abuse maternal uncle (and his wife, my maternal A-I-L) as we have no other choice. And as such, my dad has been kissing their asses since we were forced to move here more than five years ago.

Both my uncle and my A-I-L took it upon themselves to become the defacto head of my maternal family ever since my maternal grandmother passed just because he became rich thru the means of evil entrepreneur practices. We cant do anything lest we want to get kicked and live on the streets. He is a real-life mastermind as he is always a few steps ahead of us, even making it so that his eldest daughter became his perfect pawn of being his personal lawyer. He always has connections and to them we are merely insects.

My parents and the rest of our family dont really see “artist” as anything that could get money rolling in (and day by day my failed attemptes have been proving them right), and on top of that, they see me being depressed and such as being the “freeloading couch potato”. So they keep bringing up how much of a failure I am. Weve been living in such toxic conditions that my mom has developed this sort of stockholm syndrome type relationship with my dad, and her younger brother (my uncle), and his wife (my A-I-L, her S-I-L). At first i thought i could try and save mom but shes too far gone that she strictly forbids me from fending for myself whenever either of the three try to berate me and drive me to tears and breaking down for the fifth time every week.

All i wish now is to be able to pay back at least some of the debt, for my mom and my fur daughters’ sake, and hopefully my own. I have been in a downwards spiral ever since i have been tolerating being the “odd one out” kid from school. in general, and even in the family, its been literal years and my entire life, im tired of being used and tossed to the side, im tired of being the punching bag of a cosmic joke, and im tired of my disabilities. im tired of being useless to the people i care for the most. so please. help us.

My wish now is to be able to help mom and our fur daughters move away from our domestic ab*sers. everything is an endless spiral of dead ends and im sick of it. ive been self sabotaging for years but a small part of me still has hope, please. i dont want to believe that this is where it ends for us. in this world of darkness and cruelty that spits on our faces, only my mom and our fur daughters have shown me the smallest glimpse of happiness. and even then ive failed them by becoming a barely functioning patient of depression. so, please, dont take my sunshines away.

[piracytheorist]

Ranking SxF season 2 episodes!

So, some time ago I made a ranking of the season 1 episodes of Spy x Family, from my least favourite to my top favourite. I felt inspired a couple days ago and I thought I'd make a similar ranking of the season 2 episodes.

Mentioning again that: This is all my personal judgment heavily based on stuff I liked. You most certainly will disagree with me and that’s fine! Just don’t argue with me because that’s just personal opinions, I’m not trying to change anyone’s minds or prove anything!

And also: I chose to rank each episode by five criteria, the things I love the most about the show: 1) Humor (intentional or not), 2) Character (defining or cool moments and such) 3) Cute 4) Plot (how much development there is and how well the action is delivered) 5) Feels (of any kind).

#12, Least favourite of the season: 29. The Pastry of Knowledge/ The Informant's Great Romance Plan II

Humor: 6/10 Character: 6/10 Cute: 7/10 Plot: 6/10 Feels: 5/10

I think this is the only episode that got points removed for something I didn't like. I made some very passionate posts about it when it first aired, particularly due to how after watching it I realized I'd been treated very unfairly by some fellow fans, and thus I'm almost incapable of rewatching the first half. Yes this is about Damian bullying Anya, no I won't shut up about it.

Anyway. This is still quite a high ranking (it's higher than the three lowest from my s1 ranking), cause the humor and the cats of the second part were quite entertaining on their own. It got a few points for plot because it introduced the stakes of Anya getting low grades, and also because of the discussion between Franky and Twilight about Garden.

#11: 36. Berlint in Love / Nightfall's Daily Life

Humor: 9/10 Character: 6/10 Cute: 6/10 Plot: 5/10 Feels: 7/10

A very high humor score because I honestly doubt a single minute passed without me laughing my ass off in this one. It was so ridiculous and they loved making it so. Though having two wholly different parts, they were both fun in how they were around two characters blinded by their affection for Loid to the point they have no idea how hopeless their goals are. I just love how exaggerated it all is.

Some feels points were added for Yor talking about remembering what Loid had told her during the bench scene, and also because we get Loid being a stupid simp for his strong wife.

#10: 31. The Fearsome Luxury Cruise Ship

Humor: 7/10 Character: 8/10 Cute: 6/10 Plot: 8/10 Feels: 6/10

Reminder that this is still a high ranking. I'm just being strict in the ratings because the entire season is so good, the bar is really high!

Anyway, though I like this episode, it feels more like a passing point from the previous one to the next, compared to those specific episodes, so that's probably why it's this low. I love how the assassins plot is kicked off and we get to see some action, and character points were added for McMahon's ruthless killing of the stalker assassin.

#9: 28. Mission and Family / The Elegant Bondman / Extras

Humor: 6,5/10 Character: 9/10 Cute: 6/10 Plot: 9/10 Feels: 7/10

This is the first time I felt the need to use decimals, lol. I just feel that this episode is one of the darkest and most serious of the season, but also... Bondman's part was ridiculous (affectionate) and the omakes were great by themselves, so I felt that a mere six wouldn't do.

I'm honestly entranced by the first part. The plot and exploration of Yuri's and Perkin's characters were near damn perfect, I only wish there was a bit more beyond that episode, haha. I understand the focus needed to be in the Cruise Arc, so I feel a nine will do for this one. The feels were honestly added because I was a bit touched by Perkin's motives, and how those touched Yuri too.

#8: 30. Plan to Cross the Border

Humor: 8/10 Character: 9/10 Cute: 7/10 Plot: 7/10 Feels: 7/10

The Shopkeeper's introduction was amazing, albeit terrifying. Olka's was a little more subdued, but it was more touching. I felt both also reflected on something about Yor, so it was overall very satisfying. Due to so many introductions, plot was light (not that I minded), but Anya's scheming put up points in humor and cute. Feels points were added for Olka wanting to escape the crime underworld, and how that affected Yor.

#7: 32. Who Is This Mission For?

Humor: 8/10 Character: 8/10 Cute: 8/10 Plot: 6/10 Feels: 8/10

I'd spent the entire week before this episode aired wondering how Yor would manage fighting Barnaby, and even though I should be used to the story's wackiness by now, it still managed to surprise me and make me laugh. Also Loid will never outlive his ridiculous tourist getup. Anya was an adorable little gremlin who couldn't stop having fun, so cute points went up, and Loid managed to spend one (1) episode without going "For the mission!" once, so character and feels points went up as well.

#6: 26. Follow Papa and Mama

Humor: 9/10 Character: 7/10 Cute: 8/10 Plot: 6/10 Feels: 8/10

To be honest, I think I'm a bit strict with this one. I don't know how this story manages to make miscommunication so funny for me, but it was legitimately hilarious. The thing is, this was the only episode of the season whose manga chapter I'd already read, long ago too, and maybe my expectations for its adaptation were unrealistically high - probably also due to it being the season premiere and I'd spent ten months without my show, so I'm probably biased. Mind you, I still loved it, but this further cements my will to stay anime only.

Anyway! Character points went a bit down because I didn't feel we saw anything new, but the cute and feels persisted because of Anya's machinations and because of Yor admitting how good she felt with Loid dedicating time for her that day.

#5: 34. The Hand That Connects to the Future

Humor: 8/10 Character: 7/10 Cute: 8/10 Plot: 8/10 Feels: 8/10

A lovely, hopeful closure for Olka and the rest, Yor getting the acknowledgement she deserves, a spectacular ending of the assassins fight, high stakes with the bomb threats, and an emotional ending scene with Twilight carrying Anya to bed and then the family getting ready to meet in the resort island. Not much else to be said <3

#4: 35. Enjoy the Resort to the Fullest / Bragging About Vacation

Humor: 9/10 Character: 7/10 Cute: 9/10 Plot: 6/10 Feels: 9/10

No, I'm definitely not biased because this episode shows us the first glimpse of Twilight yearning for Yor what are you talking about.

Who am I kidding, I definitely added feels points just for that look he gave her while she watched Anya play with the sheep. The whole episode felt so relaxing and fulfilling after the intense assassins plot, especially the scene of the Forgers having tea upon returning home, that I don't mind that the second part at school feels a little exaggerated. The ending scene with Anya being surrounded by liars though is top notch.

#3: 27. Bond's Strategy to Stay Alive / Damian's Field Research Trip

Humor: 9/10 Character: 8/10 Cute: 8/10 Plot: 7/10 Feels: 9/10

Endo used Dog Cuteness! It's super effective!

Yeah, the whole adventure and the way it was presented were appropriately hilarious and we saw some more of the dynamics between Bond and the rest and I really liked that. Plot wasn't heavy but I was all wide eyes at the introduction of a truth serum, and at the second part when Mr. Green talked about people defecting to the West. Feels went up thanks to, among others, Twilight thinking he was helping Bond get his "revenge". Also, though the second part didn't do much for me, it actually felt nice to see Damian laugh innocently like the kid he really is.

#2: 37. Part of the Family

Humor: 8/10 Character: 8/10 Cute: 9/10 Plot: 8/10 Feels: 9/10

Despite the mopping wet of a dog we got here, I kinda felt this was less... humorous, or at least not focusing so much on the humor aspect. I felt it was more cute and emotional that Bond was just trying to help left and right but was only misunderstood by Twilight. The action takes the place of a plot here, and I loved it all. Some development too through Twilight realizing he can relax a bit with Bond, even though he's still in denialTM about how much he appreciates his company.

#1: 33. The Symphony Upon the Ship / Sis's Herb Tea

Humor: 8/10 Character: 10/10 Cute: 7/10 Plot: 9/10 Feels: 10/10

Yeah OH MY GOD are we surprised. Top tier shit. Excellent balance of pretty much everything in this one. The humor even in the way Yor took out some of the assassins. Her flashbacks with Yuri. The ACTION and the ANIMATION of it all. HER REALIZATION AND DETERMINATION POWERING HER THROUGH. HER LOVE FOR HER FAMILY.

Yeah wow it's really so good any eloquence evades me. Perfect. Mwah. Thank you Endo-sensei.

~

And here is the overall ranking of the episodes, from both seasons, based on the ratings I gave:

1. Operation Strix

    2. Secure A Wife

    33. The Symphony Upon The Ship / Sis's Herb Tea

    24. The Role Of A Mother And Wife / Shopping With Friends

    38. Part Of The Family

    16. Yor's Kitchen / The Informant's Great Romance Plan

    27. Bond's Strategy To Stay Alive / Damian's Field Research Trip

    14. Disarm The Time Bomb

    12. Penguin Park

   11. Stella

   21. Nightfall / First Fit Of Jealousy

   35. Enjoy The Resort To The Fullest / Bragging About Vacation

   15. A New Family Member

   9. Show Off How In Love You Are

   5. Will They Pass Or Fail?

   34. The Hand That Connects To The Future

   3. Prepare For The Interview

   26. Follow Papa And Mama

   32. Who Is This Mission For?

   13. Project Apple

   4. The Prestigious School's Interview

  30. Plan To Cross The Border

   28. Mission And Family / The Elegant Bondman / Extras

   8. The Counter-Secret Police Cover Operation

   6. The Friendship Scheme

   31. The Fearsome Luxury Cruise Ship

   25. First Contact

  23. The Unwavering Path

   18. Uncle The Private Tutor / Daybreak

   6. The Target's Second Son

   36. Berlint In Love / Nightfall's Daily Life

   20. Investigate The General Hospital / Decipher The Perplexing Code

   19. A Revenge Plot Against Desmond / Mama Becomes The Wind

  29. The Pastry Of Knowledge / The Informant's Great Romance Plan Ii

  17. Carry Out The Griffin Plan / Fullmetal Lady / Omelet Rice ♡

  22. The Underground Tennis Tournament: The Campbelldon

  10. The Great Dodgeball Plan

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

WAIT UR THE ‘demitri and eli take a gay little road trip to find miguel’ GUY?? I LOVE THAT FIC OMG

YES HI I'm That Guy!!! That's my fic!!! Thank you for still noticing and reading it!!! <3 <3 <3

TBH it hasn't been getting a lot of comments or interaction lately, so I wasn't sure if people were still following it or really thinking about it much D: I definitely am going to continue and I have pretty solid plans up through about Chapter 13, but I got caught up in good old Adult Things (got a car part stolen and had to speedrun finding a job, and by some insane miracle I landed a good one???) and had to sorta get my life together for a while. I was also pretty bummed and discouraged that the Elimetri fandom kinda fizzed out after S5, and the hype that was there after S3 and S4 seems few and far between these days </3 And when someone DOES show up and get hyped about my boys, it always seems like they get bored after like 2 weeks and vanish into the ether again D: I feel like an immortal roaming the ruins of a once great and thriving civilization akjsalksufhdulrh

BUT ALL THAT TO SAY this is really encouraging <3 <3 Love that people are still invested, and now that my life has stabilized a bit, I may actually get Chapter 7 done ^^; The canon Mexico plotline was the most underwhelming thing I've ever seen in my entire life (and Season 5 as a whole and I just...did not really Vibe for a lot of reasons), and it's frustrating because like!!! Why would you introduce this grand epic quest for Miguel to find his dad and learn about his Dark Past™️ and then have it be over in 5 minutes and reveal nothing interesting whatsoever about Hector!!! Like if the point was to have Johnny prove he could be a good father figure to Miguel after all and to cause conflict between Miguel and Sam, then there were like...ways to do that without yeeting Miguel to another country with no ultimate character development or narrative payoff :/

And they really expect me to believe Miguel and Robby sat in petty stony silence the whole several-hour drive home and didn't even try to talk through ANY of their issues??? Didn't have ANY road trip bonding whatsoever??? WHAT A FUCKING WASTE. LAME.

ANYWAYS. I know a lot of people were against the Mexico subplot from the jump (mainly because of the potential problematic directions the show could go with it I think), but I might have been in the minority in being excited for it and thinking it had a lot of potential to see a world outside the Valley. Potential which it...did not fill at all. Like at least show us what sketch-ass shit Hector actually DOES!!! My god!!! Also not Robby being like "I wanna make things right with Miguel!!!" and then...clearly not doing that. Like considering their apartment brawl later was the first time Robby has shown onscreen remorse for what he did to Miguel, Robby didn't even apologize in the car ride on the way back??? Or speak a single word to Miguel about the whole, like...Paralysis Incident??? For all Miguel knows, Robby was tagging along just for kicks ajhdsukhfuyh

The whole thing is a mess tbh. I blame rushed production for S5. Deadass thank god for the writer's strike??? Maybe with more time for the writers to actually do their jobs, S6 will give its plotlines some room to breathe.

SO YES, long story short, I wanna do this plot thread some justice and also have my OTP be gay as shit the whole time <3 And give Miguel the epically dangerous adventure of self-discovery he deserves while ultimately still showing him he is very loved and does not need his shitty biological dad!!! God bless!!!

Thank you again for sliding into my inbox about this fic, I am always looking for motivation to keep going with it :D

(For anyone who doesn't know, the first 6 chapters of the fic in question are posted on my AO3, SummerPhlox!)

[skulltopcomputer]

I Have So Much To Say About Transmasc Jake English

Disclaimer: This is my opinion- I definitely don’t think you have to interpret Jake this way, both gender and character-wise. Also, this is just for fun (I swear). Although I am interested in working in the confines of canon for as much as possible, I'm not trying to "prove" Jake is transmasc, I'm sure Hussie wrote him as a cis man. Content warnings under read more.

Content warning for discussions of transphobia and misogyny (if I need to add anything else let me know).

Just for context, I believe Jake realized he was a boy very early in his childhood. Thematically, it would be most appropriate shortly after Grandma English dies, so basically, as long as he's been old enough to understand the concept of "gender", he has known he is a boy. (I have a lot of ways that I think transmasc Jake would interact with the text of Homestuck, but that's all you really need to know for this post).

Also I’m going to talk about “the narrative” a lot here, which I'm mostly using to mean the perceived author of Homestuck, that is, the person who writes the narration, controls who to focus on and how the plot plays out, etc. I say "the narrative" instead of "Hussie" because 1. Hussie is a literal character within the comic and I'm not referring to them there and 2. I don't think they intended everything I'm going to say "the narrative" pushes here, even if their vitriol towards Jake was very much deliberate. It's important to have a term for this as Hussie's background as the specific type of Internet Poster they were greatly impacts how Homestuck is written- in Jake's case, how the reader is made to perceive his character.

OK onto the actual analysis.

(One of) the whole point(s) of Jake is that he conceptualizes himself in certain ways that aren't reflected in the reality of his actions. Specifically, he thinks of himself as some grandiose, charismatic action hero, even though in reality he’s just kind of a nerdy teen who watches movies all day. There are many reasons he views himself that way, but most relevantly to this post he’s raised solely on media to influence his worldview, and therefore both consciously and unconsciously assimilates the roles of movie character archetypes onto how he thinks of real people. This is easily mapped onto Jake’s perception of himself as a “man”, as (most of) the men he knows are the rough-and-tumble, kick ass adventure type. He thinks that since these are traits of men, and since he is a man, he must inherently be that way as well- even though in actuality, he's done very little to show it.

By the narrative’s standards, Jake makes a lot of mistakes as someone who wants to be considered a “man”. He idolizes female heroes alongside male ones (most likely influenced by Grandma English’s being his first model of what a hero should be), even going so far as to dress like them. He’s not ashamed of his attraction to men. In fact, he's open about his attraction to what the narrative considers to be abnormal (I know in the real world, an attraction to "blue women" would be regarded as incredibly tame, but considering what Homestuck considers a furry it's safe to say the standard of deviance is rather low. I think the emphasis on Neytiri is meant to accentuate Jake's affinity towards blue woman as "weird", especially as the narration highlights her nonhuman anatomy and she's repeatedly described as "furry"). The narrative punishes him for these traits, often in ironic ways. He is given a skimpy, uncomfortable, god tier outfit meant to objectify him (reminiscent of how women are objectified in the movies he likes), he messes up his relationship with Dirk so bad he convinces himself he's not attracted to anyone*, and he is embarrassingly awkward with the real-life blue alien girl he meets. Sincerity, especially among male characters, is often unforgivable to Homestuck.

*To clarify, what I think is happening when Jake says he's not "capable" of romantic attraction is that he's trying to convince himself he can't feel attraction, because he doesn't want to have a relationship where he hurts people/other people hurt him that bad ever again. I don't think it's "wrong" to interpret him as aromantic, and I especially don't think aromanticism should be treated as a "punishment". I just don't think of him as such.

Jake’s whole SBURB adventure is the narrative repeatedly, humiliatingly tearing down Jake’s perception of himself by placing him into situations wherein he is shown to fail to uphold it, both internally to the characters and externally to the reader. The “charismatic” part of his persona is all but demolished in his conversations with Aranea, as well as his relationships with the Alpha kids in the void session. In the Game Over timeline while Gamzee is fighting Terezi, all Jake can bring himself to do is politely ask him to stop. His most damning blow comes in his confrontation with Crockertier Jane, as he fails twofold at what a “man” would do in his place- he doesn’t want to fight her, and he doesn’t want to have sex with her. His admission of “not wanting to be a man and not wanting to punch her in the face” at BGD’s pestering is the narrative finally succeeding at pressuring him into admitting he’s too weak for the standards of masculinity imposed on him, or put another way, that he’s not a "man” at all. (Relevantly, BGD functions as both a Dirk [a character praised for his adherence to masculinity] analogue and Jake’s internal monologue, proving Jake is aware and ashamed of himself in the moment and that he thinks his friends would most likely judge him too). Once the narrative has proven Jake has failed at the standards of masculinity, it forces him into what he, and the reader, would understand as positions typically held by female characters in media (objectifying him, assaulting him, etc.).

Jake is often treated as “silly” and “stupid”, both outright and insidiously. He's the kid who grew up on an island, isolated from society, and therefore doesn't understand how the world "really" operates. He also shares Caliborn's unspecified "learning disorder", which in the narrative's terms, is just another reason he's out of touch. The more characters who think of him as stupid or ignorant, the more Jake's autonomy is diminished- how can he claim to know anything about his identity when he so disconnected from reality? Jake's continual crying falls into this too, as large displays of emotions are often conflated with stupidity, or at the very least irrationality.

All of this is so resonant for me as a transmasc person, especially since Homestuck is so influenced by internet culture. I was never a forum goer but I did a lot of digital self harm on Reddit and the sentiment that transmasc people are stupid, fanciful, confused teen girls that only want to be men because they want to imitate characters in media is (was? I try not to go on Reddit anymore) very common in those types of spaces. (This is amplified if you read Jake as autistic [as I do] as the “confused autistic teen girl” is unfortunately a very prevalent transphobic stereotype). Anyone who did not live up to a very specific caliber of toxic masculinity (wearing only masculine clothes, being attracted exclusively to women, repressing grand acts of emotions, etc.) was labeled as faking, and often subject to misogynistic harassment. I hope by now you can see how this connects to Jake.

(One of the reasons) why John's conversation with Jake in Act 6 Act 6 is so important to resolving his character is that John shows Jake that there's more than one way to be a man. John introduces a new type of masculinity to Jake, that of a "side kick", evidently referencing Robin, as he contrasts this archetype with "bat man". He recontextualizes his outfit meant to objectify him as something this character would wear. Robin- and therefore this role of the "side kick"- is still very much a male character who is allowed to be male even though he's goofy instead of a chiseled, emotionally repressed paradigm of masculinity. Jake shows a lot of joy at inhabiting this idea.

In summary, transmasc Jake is an extrapolation of the themes of how the narrative punishes Jake for not meeting the expectations of masculinity put upon him. There are other reasons why I view Jake as transmasc, but this is the most important one to me, as it's the most poignant. There are few stories that portray the experience of growing up on the internet, fewer specifically with a transmasculine lens, and even fewer that discuss the hardships of doing so in both cases. Ironically, the narrative's contempt towards Jake made for a more realistic, and therefore more evocative, experience for me.

Of course, not all transmasc people are going to view it that way, so please don't generalize. I like seeing negative experiences reflected in media, but not all people do. Also, I don't want to give Hussie credit for all of this- some (probably most) of what I talked about was legitimately intended to be bigoted, or at least rooted in bigoted assumptions. Homestuck is a text you should read critically, as it is embedded in its author's history, for the better and for the worse.

This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg concerning both transmasc Jake and especially Jake analysis in general so hopefully more posts to come. Also, despite the fact I didn’t go into them much as characters in this post, know I am a staunch Jane and Dirk defender (crockertier Jane is not really representative of Jane and BGD is not really representative of Dirk. I also don't think Jake is perfect or anything). They are also both transmasc but that's a post for a different day.

[blues-valentine]

Your post was so long again but I agree about what you said about Tory from cobra Kai. The show victimizes her too much. Not saying that Sam has never done anything wrong but it’s crazy how every faults her for things while Tory can around starting a fight that ends with someone being kicked over railing and breaking into someone’s house and attacking them with a weapon not once but twice. It’s crazy.

I have a lot of comments about how those two in particular are written. The show doesn’t do a good job writing for their teenage characters and has an overall problem with classism. I can’t help but notice how the poor characters are presented with negative undertones. The Miguel story line in Mexico and the way it was presented? Awful. That’s another conversation for another day.

Let’s go back to the point of the ask and is going to be a LONG one so this will probably be my last take on this whole thing.

(Tory lovers — this is probably not your place).

The problem for me is how the show is so committed on making Sam the villain and the audience cheers for it like the excuses for hating on Sam are legitimate. This fandom has a huge misogyny problem. If Sam was depicted as a more "femme fatale" type of female character the conversation around her would be different. If you cannot sexualize Sam, then she’s just an annoying teenager and I’ve said this before and the way this fandom speaks about Sam proves me right.

The rivalry between Sam and Tory was so badly executed and they want to make it seem like it comes down to social class but they are unable to make it valid without inserting the boys into it. The show has been trying to put the blame on Sam for the school fight and repeatedly tells the audience she's the one to blame. This is a huge problem and to this day I’ve seen people blindly believe this. No one told Tory to walk into school to start a violent fight. The fact she gets defended over this is insane. Her violent actions created a domino effect and she has never apologized for it. No, it didn’t start because Sam cheated on Robby. Tory decided to resolve the issue by going after Sam instated of speaking to her boyfriend. Tory stans view the school fight as a win for her and that’s actually insane because it had nothing to do with Karate, that was a criminal act. She tried to kill someone. How can people expect Sam to be okay with her after that?

The show constantly vocalizes how Sam cheated on Robby. Almost as if we as an audience need to remember this fact about her to villainize her, but the show never tries to blame Miguel for cheating on Tory and never mentions how Sam was intoxicated during that party so the responsibility falls on Miguel’s shoulders more so than Sam. Miguel never gets called out for the things he does and I love him but this a recurrent problem with the show.

Another issue is how this fandom constantly devalues and minimizes Sam’s anxiety and PTSD. The amount of edits I’ve seen using Sam's panic attacks as a "look at Tory being so bad ass". Tory was a bully. Someone capable of going physical and aggressive. Sam was beat up in a brutal way, watched her ex boyfriend fall off the rails because of a fight Tory caused and her current boyfriend ran away as a result. I’ll be traumatized and Sam had a lot of reasons to hate Tory the way she did. It wasn’t a simple thing, it was straight up attempted murder. I am not saying the things Sam did were always right but I’m sure she’s allowed to feel that way but that’s the thing Sam is never allowed to feel aggression without being sell as unreasonable.

The show never tries to make Tory regret her actions but rather make excuses for her. That is the problem that would never let me fully root for her. We saw her semi apologize to Miguel, once. Then, episodes later we saw her telling Robby: "They get to have a normal life and we don’t". How does Miguel having a life altering injury and trauma normal for him? How does Sam developing PTSD and a crumpling guilt for something she didn’t do, normal? It’s the lack of self awareness. I’m sorry, Tory does not get to feel normal because actions like that should have consequences. The fact only Robby got to be punished by the school fight is wild considering Tory (and Hawk) deserved more and they got bare minimum.

Season 3 did nothing to show Tory understood the gravity of her actions or regrets the school fight because the season ends with her committing yet another crime: breaking into a house, demolishing private property and beating Sam up with a weapon. Again, made not mistakes, Sam deserves this. For some reason, anything Sam did cannot be worst than this. It’s what the show keeps trying to make us believe because Sam is rich and has a family. The show making Tory see reason in her mistakes is what should’ve kick started her redemption arc for season 4. Hawk’s redemption arc was done bad too. It’s okay to sympathize with Tory and her life but the way the writers and the audience make excuses for her it’s wild. Sam gets blamed for Dimitri getting his arm broken, not Hawk who did it and not Tory who verbally encouraged him.

Season 4 did Sam dirty and I’m terribly sorry for Mary Mouser. She clearly loves Sam but the writers don’t give her much to work with and keep deleting important scenes for her character. Plus, half of this fandom misogynist takes fall on her. Tory and Amanda's story line was terrible and so unrealistic and it did nothing but paint her as an unsupportive mother. I would never put my daughter's bully as a priority over my owns daugther’s comfort. I would never invite my daughter's bully into my own house, the place that’s supposed to be a safe space. Nothing about this plot was okay and it was pretty insulting to survivors. This plot was just to give Tory a 'redemption' that instated of having Tory apologize for her mistakes and realize the consequences of her actions, the writers angle this by making Sam to be the bully and the "unreasonable" one. Sam does not have to play nice with Tory. The show tries really hard to make it seem normal to forget and move on from a girl that tried to brutally harm you (twice) just because she’s poor and has not family support. Sam doesn’t have to be the better person. Life doesn’t work that way and there’s not justification for this. I do believe Tory regrets it but the show doesn’t do her any justice by constantly victimizing her.

Season 5 was a disappointment. Rushed and relied too much on fan service. I get that Tory’s situation was difficult and why it was hard for her not to tell anyone what Terry did but Sam’s reaction when Tory reveals to her the tournament was rigged isn’t exaggerated. It was absolutely valid. Firstly, Tory isn’t her friend. She is someone that has caused her pain both physically and mentally. Sam has been dealing with a lot of pressure because her "losing" that tournament put her family in a difficult situation. But, here’s the catch, Sam is rich so her struggles aren’t valid, according to the show.

As someone pointed out before, the Tory and Sam scene at her apartment was not meant to give Tory a believable redemption arc. It was used as a punch line against Sam and to further victimize Tory who still hasn’t apologized to Sam for beating her up and trashing her house. Tory's living situation was redirected towards Sam and her privilege and how "inconsiderable" of people’s struggles she is. How does Tory’s living situation changes Sam’s views on her? Or what she’s done to her? This angle makes me upset because it means people are allowed to be terrible just because of their life conditions. This isn’t doing people with financial struggles any favors. The show never gave Tory a redemption arc. They just sympathy baited the audience into thinking she’s justified. The writers overall have never done Tory justice as a character either. She was only given a personality until season 4, before that she was just one dimensional, she was there to serve as their own femme fatale / Sam’s rival.

I could go on and on about how the resolutions of the "rivalry" not only for Tory and Sam but Miguel and Robby were done terrible. Robby’s issues with Miguel and Johnny don’t get to be resolved after one fight. Johnny never proved he deserves Robby’s forgiveness. The baby plot was just a way to force Robby and Miguel to get along because "they’re family" now. Sam never got to heal from Tory’s actions. The narrative is trying to force it for plot sake. There’s a lot of baggage and to this day there’s people that go "Sam x Miguel and Robby x Tory double date for S6” as if those people suddenly being bffs is normal and realistic. That group of people could never be close friends. It was not done or developed in a believable or fair way.

I am a believer that season 5 was written that way because they weren’t sure about season 6 yet so they worked for it as a de facto finale. They tried to tie some loose ends but enough of an open ending to pick right up. And it shows.

[achillesmonochrome]

Sada headcanons~

(Executive Dysfunction is kicking my ass so I did this instead.)

A bunch of headcanons about Professor Sada, these headcanons are from "With what we know about canon we could deduce-" to "because I said so." Don't take any of these too seriously.

Her mother was young when she got pregnant, and because she didn't feel ready to be a mother, she decided to give her for adoption. However for legal issues she got delayed being available as a baby, ending up bouncing on the foster system instead.

Her first pokemon was a Larvesta. Everyone thought it was dumb because it takes so long to evolve, and she stuck to her decision even more just to prove everyone wrong.

Her favourite flower are roses, is also her favourite fragrance.

Was rocking a half-shaved hairstyle in her teenage years, and complained a lot to Turo when she was asked to change it once she went into the field.

She constantly got into fights when she was in school; a lot of times she was placed in homes with too many kids fighting for attention, making her get into the habit of fighting other kids, mostly to avoid trying to look weak.

Gym rat, she listens to audio books of readings of her own documents while she is working out; insisting that it helps her to think.

Can't stay awake too late, even if she tries she eventually goes out like a light. Turo used to make fun of her for it. In return, Sada made fun of his 'raccoon eyes' (the man is a night owl and often has insomnia.)

Likes golden jewellery the most.

Loud, very loud. She learned how to module her voice once she became an adult, but even to her last year of school she was told in presentations "Miss Sada, I appreciate the enthusiasm but you don't need to yell."

A Perfectionist, she also gets easily envious of other people that are better than her.

Her favourite type are dragons.

She had the Scarlet book since she was a little girl, and it has been one of the few possessions she has been able to keep.

Neither of them knew it, but Sada is actually Iono's aunt. (Yes, I have an explanation as to how in-universe. I am not writing that little story because feels too long. If you want to know the reason why I made it this way, is because both of them have fangs.)

Socially inept, her passion and beauty normally makes up for it, at least in most social settings. She never had many friends.

Feral Bisexual.

Was best friend's with Juliana's/Florian's mom in middle school (Yes, I know they are suppose to be from Galar, I have an explanation for it. I am just not giving the long version here.)

Can't cook to save her life; she never had anyone teaching her, and when she had the chance to learn on her own lost patience often, or ended up focusing in something else. Survives out of healthy smoothies and some take out. Knows a few tricks to make a mean ramen though.

Likes outdoors; when she has the chance she would study outside under the sun, and preferred sights with nice views (the lighthouse lab is right beside the ocean, the office that is now Clavell's has big windows even if is technically a lab.)

Very loopy when she doesn't sleep, and was always the give away about her inability to stay up too late.

Can speak Spanish.

Likes spicy food.

Multiple times, has taken Turo on her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She will deliberately walk him in front of people if possible just to say "See how ridiculous this is? Go to sleep at a decent hour next time nerd."

(Yes, she is a nerd, yes, she still calls Turo that.)

Can quote the Scarlet book with ease, she has memorized the biographies of the members of that expedition, as well as absorbed every detail about the Area Zero that she could find.

Both her and Turo were squealing in glee at the idea of going to Area Zero. During their first time being down, they quoted to each other their respective books. (Yes I also have an explanation for this, and I will post about it soon.)

Had fantasized about seeing different events from the past (the ancient pokemon times, the expedition to the Area Zero, before her mother gave her up- etc.)

Was young when she got pregnant with Arven, low twenties young I mean.

Speaks to her Larvesta (now Volcarona) like it is a puppy.

Really good dancer.

That's it for now? I may talk about Turo's soon, though I have less than with Sada to be honest.

[sweaterspoons]

i can't rememnber if you have a maze tag and a separate labyrinth tag but im so curious either way. what the fuck are you talking about please elaborate *kicking feet in the air twirling a phone ckrd*

GRABS YOU!!!! THANK U FOR ASKING i will now be typing for four hours<333

the labyrinth is the maze!!!!!! The Maze refers both to the play-by-post d&d campaign im running, and its setting :D

the pitch, essentially, is this:

the maze is a very little-known legend. and even if you're among the few who learn about it, it's incredibly difficult to find... and even fewer people ever make it back out.

but those who DO make it out return with their heart's greatest desire.

riches, power, immortality, knowledge, a cure for all disease, a really fucking awesome sandwich... it's all possible in the maze :)

the maze itself is its own world, with... maybe its own consciousness? it bumps up into other planes of existence every so often, and when that happens, it creates Doors, which one can enter the maze through.

the challenge, theoretically, is simple. you enter through your door. the door locks. you go find your desire. when you achieve that, you ALSO get a key! the key unlocks your door. you go home.

in practice, it's.. well... a little more complicated <3

the maze is composed of an endless series of little worlds. some parts of it are pretty classic winding tunnels, hedges, what have you. some parts of it are... cities. forests. graveyards. oceans. etc etc etc. the dream is to feel a little bit infinity train : )

geeenerally you'll get pushed in a direction that'll get you toward your goal, but. you're gonna have to work for it baby!!!

we have FOUR player characters, all from different worlds <3

the guy, played by @spookyhetero ; a warforged barbarian, a father, an all around very strange fella from a very strange world. his face is an orb. his dad is a frat boy wizard. his son is a cactus. he's friends with the maze.

mara, played by @fia-bonkginya ; a half-elf oathbreaker paladin + undying warlock!! also the love of my life honestly. they're trying to get out of their warlock pact and it's going... swell :)

nadzeya oja, played by @eldathe ; a goblin druid, my darling, my angel, my emotional punching bag. she just wants to help. she just wants to prove herself. she just wants to find-- um... who... who was it she was looking for, again? (she can't remember. why can't she remember?)

and last, but CERTAINLY not least, is doctor charles jefferson atelier, played by @electricpoolshark ; a human artificer, former army medic, current engineer and rat enthusiast. he has a giant metal rat named algernon and she's his best friend. he's just here to learn about the maze, and accidentally doomed his own ass to walk its halls forever in like... the first five minutes.

honorable npc mentions include clementine, who's been here for quite some time; titan, whom everybody hates but is also the biggest and the sexiest and is my number one committer of nonbinary wrongs; and tetsuya, who is probably not a ghost but IS a little bit haunting the narrative right now.

also.

bnuny.

:)

[historia-vitae-magistras]

Okay, this isn't exactly an hour after you posted (grad school is KICKING MY ASS) but I am here to scream in your ask box! With probably greater than 50% of the fic quoted XD

The rush of fondness that came was unconscious, automatic and as human as they ever felt. "Holy Christ," He pinched limbs snaking around his neck and flung them off, gripping the slender creature giving him the world's most gentle, affectionate mauling and holding him at arm's length.

I don't know what I'm more in love with- Matthew feeling secure enough to immediately bear hug Alasdair, or Alasdair's mood instantly improving when he realizes Matt's there. It's just so sweet.

"The bosun said he would tell father I've done well. Would you speak to him? And tell father? Please? If it's not a bother."

Sobbing The poor baby is so worried about proving that he did what he was told. My heart.

"Christ almighty, I'm going to clap your father into a stockade," Alasdair muttered as he gently tried to sponge the raw skin clean of salt. "What was he thinking?"

I would very much like to see that. I know it's not "that bad" by the standards of the day and Alasdair's mainly expressing sympathy, but I'm going to imagine a world where Arthur steps off his own boat and immediately gets locked in a stockade for a while for being a dick. I think many things would be improved if that happened.

Alasdair snorted. "And the beanpole. Honestly, did they forget to feed you?" "Only sometimes!" Matt said chipperly, blowing at the suds and shaping peaks like merengue out of the bubbles. It was strange, sometimes, that even after a century and a half, children remained like their physical age.

FUCKING OW. JUST STAB ME NEXT TIME, IT'D BE KINDER.

It's the "chipperly" that really murdered me. This poor baby. Alasdair's asking rhetorically because surely they didn't actually forget to feed the boy... and Matt's just happily playing with bubbles while he explains that yep, they did, because he was all alone. The fact that it doesn't even register as a problem for him is just... ow.

"Matthew." Alasdair repositioned himself to the side of the tub instead of the back. The lad was still slight for his age and dwarfed by all the suds in the tub long enough for Alasdair to stretch out. For a bizarre moment, he recalled Arthur, even younger, even smaller, with terrified eyes in the waters at Aqua Sulis when he'd been playing and lost track of their mother. "Grapes or apples? Or there are some plums if you'd like those. Won't do to have you keeling over of scurvy on land."

I've said it before, Arthur being the youngest adds something very bittersweet to these relationships and you know exactly how to use it to twist the knife. Alasdair's currently trying to repair some of the damage the bastard's done, but he can't help but remember when that bastard was such a little kid.

Also, that last line... Alasdair's being affectionate and a good caretaker and all, but it broke my heart because Matt absolutely has keeled over from scurvy on dry land. Poor neglected snowpile.

A long, inefficient pause. Not inefficient, Alasdair thought, but nervous.

I loved this because it's that little jump from "his first reaction" to "what does this mean in the context of Matt's personality" that Arthur never seems to make. Alasdair cares enough to stop and actually think about his reaction and what Matt's like rather than just immediately getting annoyed.

He thumbed Francis' curls off a sharp face that was too like Arthur's as a boy, with eyes as large as they were clever. It was strange how a child made of so much of the two great sources of disquiet in Alasdair's life could be so endearing.

I just wanted to pause and appreciate this. Arthur and Francis are pains in the ass, but at least Alasdair got his favorite family member out of their bullshit.

"No one will ever give you up if I have a say in it," Alasdair said, closing his eyes against the dampness suddenly there. History had taken his mother and all the sweetness Arthur ever had. He kissed Matthew’s forehead. "I can promise you that. You have my name." "It's just… I had Lord Bonnefoy's too." Matthew said very quietly. "I was part of New France. Now I'm… Not."

Sobbing much harder The comparison of "Arthur growing into who he is today" to their mother dying is... I'm gonna need a minute. Again, you're just so damn good at writing/exploring those relationships.

And the pain from both of them. Alasdair's thinking that he's already lost so much of his family one way or another, he can't bear to lose his nephew. And Matt's lost one father already, he can't quite believe that he won't be given up again. It hurts so much.

Alasdair exhaled the urge to smash Francis' face into one of mother's standing stones and thumbed Matthew's face. "I stood as your godfather when you were born. Did you know that?" Matthew shook his head. "You were too little to remember." Alasdair held him tighter. "But I am. And François… He's always had the gentler climate. Fair weather. Do you understand what I mean?"

I have been sitting for 20 minutes trying to process this one section and I just cannot. Just... feelings. Emotion. Something about responding to Matt's insecurity with "I stood as your godfather when you were born" is so... I think it's the humanity? Matt's been tossed around and abandoned because of who they are as nations, and Alasdair's saying "I'm not just another part of the empire, and you're not a colony to me. I'm your godfather, we're related as people."

Also, you've said someone "exhaled [an emotion]" in a couple of fics and I love it. It's such an evocative line. You have such fantastic ideas and you execute them in ways that give me chills every time. (Also also, Alasdair specifically wanting to smash Francis's face into "mother's standing stones" when his mother has been on his mind, and thinking about the fic where he asks her for help with Matt... again, I can't describe it but it's a lot.)

"That I'm too cold." Matthew shivered, and Alasdair rubbed a circle in his back like he had when the lad was tiny, not that he was much larger now.

Okay, Alasdair probably should've seen that one coming. The poor baby is so insecure about his climate.

"No. That he can be a fair weather friend. We Scots are made of sterner stuff. You and I." He thumbed an idle curl, pondering the boy. Matthew glanced up, eyes wide and watery. Alasdair looked him in the eye, in what little light was left and repeated himself for emphasis. "You and I, both."

Sobbing so hard Nobody in Matt's life is amazing at parenting, but Alasdair does try very hard and love him very much.

Thank you very much for this, I always love seeing that you've posted and it's always absolutely amazing <3 (Also, did you get my ask about the last chapter of Danegeld Axe? It was one of the best yet, and that's saying something because every chapter has been fantastic.)

The way I'm turning into an absolutely junky for your incredible comments 😭😭thank you so much.

[assortedbirds]

14/01/24: Log 3- Static Pulse

Coming at you....way too late at night! I should be asleep! However, I was deeply focusing on some much-needed Static Pulse work and I want to share it before I go to bed (no matter how heavy my eyes are right now).

So today I decided to tackle the behemoth, the thing about this story that I have been trying to figure out for years but could never make any progress with, the big question...."what the fuck does Wren's house look like?".

Now, in terms of aesthetics and functionality this was very easy to answer. Dalia was an obscenely rich woman and her decor perfectly reflects that uber-wealthy minimalist "how does anyone even live here it doesn't feel homey at all" aesthetic. Additionally, I have an extensive idea of how many rooms the house has and what they are for. For example, I can tell you that it is a one story home with high ceilings, it used to have two guest bedrooms only for one of them to later be converted into a medical office, or that it has a very extensive library room. However, there has always been one pretty big issue preventing me from drawing up a floor plan....I am really not an architect. As much as it is normal to not be great at an artistic field that is not your own, I cannot emphasise enough that I really suck ass at this. Complete and utter ass. Every sketch I had made over the past 7 years, regardless of whether or not I used reference material, was a disproportionate mess that felt impossible to sustain life (I would share an example here, but it is far too late for me to go diving through old sketchbooks, please just take my word on this)

Now, I could probably very easily search up "1 story, 4 bedroom, free to use mansion plans" and just use that as the structure, but with that comes an additional problem. I may not be an architect but if there is one thing that I AM....it is picky, and once I have a vision I will not rest until I feel that it is fulfilled. Those pre existing blueprints were not cutting it, the vibes were all wrong for what I wanted the house to be. Though they provided a good reference, there was no other option for me than to kick myself back into drawing a floor plan from scratch. So this morning I sat down, put up some references and got to work.

My original plan was to see if I could make the process easier by using a floor plan software (which I will discuss later ✨) but this proved to be even more intimidating somehow, so Procreate it was. I realised quite quickly that it is not something that comes naturally for me to translate my ideas for scenes and backdrops into a map-able space, so my brain oscillated between feeling like either overheating PC fans or like it was on fire for most of the process. However, I persisted, and after a few hours I had a wildly disproportional but workable plan for the house!

Once this was finished, I was able to import it to use as a base and began building the floor plan in Homestyler! I feel very lucky, as I only remembered this site's existence due to perusing 8 year old posts on my "art reference" tag (Tumblr's tagging system coming in clutch once again ✊) and, though finicky to use at times, it is proving to be extremely useful! As I went along adding the walls and rooms, the process morphed from being painful to actually being pretty fun! Adding furniture (and eventually re-proportioning the rooms as a lot of them are too-large) will be a long and arduous process, but I am quite happy with what I have achieved so far!

I will share the full map and some more images once I have finalised the design, but I would like to end off by sharing a render of one of the more furnished areas: the library. Anyone who has seen me draw Wren has probably seen art of him sitting in a chair and looking out the window, so may I present to you...Wren's Sulking Corner:

You can also see Dalia's room looming in the background....that kinda works thematically....

Isn't the rendering cool?! Fun fact: those shelves were empty and I had to add in the books myself. It was pretty fun but very time consuming and I have roughly 8 more shelves to fill so....pray for me.

That's it for today's log! If you have read this far....thank you I love you mwah mwah!

-Billie

[jadedglory]

@nolantalks

Hey Fernando, if you're gonna lie, lie convincingly.

Jonesy isn't and hasn't ever been on Greed, which you would know if you or your 'friend' joined the server. Also for the record, outside of you posting your bs, I really don't care or follow your shit at all. And unlike you I don't sit on a Tumblr blog every day spewing more bs to make myself relevant in the rpc space. I DO have better things to do.

Also please tell me what's more unhinged: Keeping tabs of someone that is notorious in the RPC for harassment, who has harassed your friend, and making sure that any time some lies are said, you're there to shut them down with actual evidence and not just fabricated discord convos. (which btw isn't considered stalking) Or

Pretending to be multiple people, denying it despite proof and a rp source calling your ass out (and proving you are both Nolan & Nando), and constantly going on just rants that barely make sense. Like honey, your rambles sound like a person off their meds. On top of it, indicating someone who is completely innocent in your quest to find me (which is really fucked up btw that you discord dropped someone else that doesn't even know who you are).

But then again, you don't care who you hurt, you just want to hurt people because you're so miserable in your own life. And only way you can do that is with lies.

Not to mention going on a ramble about how you got my email and tracked it to my social media accounts? (Which I doubt but w/e, even if you do I really DON'T. FUCKING. CARE.) Like I couldn't honestly give a shit who you are outside of rp. Literally if you would stop spewing bs, I wouldn't be up in your business. I really don't care enough about you. I DO however care about protecting my friends, and that also means against false claims that are totally bullshit.

Also I will say, I'm sad you don't remember me. But then again you don't remember that Jonesy was the one that played Colossus on X-men boards, or that they usually only paired all their characters with their GF at the time. So your bs about them playing Starshatter and trying to ship with you is all bs. You were the one pushing for pairings and they weren't really that interested because you were so pushy and annoying. You were also the one when you were told no about Mimic (because he was banned for being OP) that decided to go on a fucking crusade to try to get Jonesy kicked from another board.

That's really fucking sad.

Irregardless, if it's one thing that has come out of this, I've made some really awesome friends.... As well as a few laughs.

Which, thanks for those!

Cheers!

[iamshay]

Hi I know I have been afk

I have been super busy with life. And try to maintain the apartment i live in.

a lot has happened. I will make post 2 about the first post that is pinned. More leak emails and people's names. screenshot how phony people can be nowadays. It's time the kick community knew and you guys knew about these narcissistic people. scroll down for the post. this post will be pinned. I need to transfer it all back to my pc. Cuz I had been collecting a lot prior to my harassment. I also might repost the picture. Also, time let people know how those people this girl mention to me their names I never mention these two individuals botting besides Zovo.

her own words now she going around lying about my name and now the same girl lying saying igypc air her ass out. but time air igypc too since she so caught own her ego high horse.

a little comment about this. more talk about it in the post.

Lauren plays a two-part side of the story to show her true color. The fact she blocks people try to silence them because she cants handle being called out. Now she lies to her simps the people to help them get boosted and botted. I got it all. She deletes all her vods cuz she knows people will be watching her old vods when i enter her chat. also, I have posted a screenshot of how I met her first time. i was already an affiliate now she taking credit for me. cuz bitch gave me some shout-out when they unfollow me right away anyways. I gain my 200 following all again by myself. by networking. I was on kick before any of them. All i did just networking. This girl is literally phony. check my Twitter. She got very nervous cuz i was talking with kick community that we all can just need report thoes titties stream coming to kick try break rules and twerk for subs. She now crying about cuz they remove it. i saw her phony ass tweet nonesess about how people work hard for their check mark but reality i know the truth how her friends group people got it cuz they dick riding kick staff and boosting them up and they getting couched. she had problem with social before i start having problem with her. She is fake she all talk how social is childish how whole community sick of him. ITs funny cuz that time i was friend with him. she was tell me all kind stuff after my fall out with social i have reason be mad and feel type throwds him. But fact i also dm her on discord said when did u become friend with him. when reality i know cuz she was all about talking shit about him. what was her reason that she was talking bad about him. NOTHING. i had good reason vent to her about them cuz they done me wrong.

her reason is that social said that girl twerking and licking mic should be recommended. girl bye.

More clear stuff will come with another post. i will post it all my card. i got lots on them they got nothing on me beside my dms. that i vented and talk among about view botting my own opinions. I never harassed them like they did. cut social and rest people out cuz i notice stuff didn't add up. The fact lidsy herself even said social was dm people vouching for get verified. unless she has not deleted that vod. since liars love hide shit. they delete prove. When i just been leaking my own whole dms. Cuz i got nothing to hide. They do.

Just ask yourself how come they deleted vods and stuff. and going to staff to delete and not verified me cuz they feel butthurt cuz i have called them out. this fat bitch think she gave me affliate when reality is i talk to kevin i got it enable it way before it hit fucking 75 follower on kick cuz there was something wrong with my vods and kevin unless he start lie for them too. she trying take credit just cuz she shout me out. SHE never help me at all. all i been doing since day one i made my account been networking with people. I am master at networking and talking to people. connect with people. Not just kick.. Twitch, trovo, youtube, etc.. This girl use race each time when stuff arent going her way. laurenshayla all of them i called out. They all have same simp that in their leader fact they are flex on sub gift is cringe and tag trainwreck but when other do it they attacking them.

That all i have to say for now. TRUST all screenshots i got will be posted. even from kick. You know how narcissism operate

I am busy now. i can't post it now. I am working on some IRL stuff projects art. I took a bit of break time to write this.

Just saying!!

[nails-anon]

Hi, i think this was my submission. This was about me (unfortunately not a cat but if i was a cat my life would be 1000 times better tbh) and my mom fighting over my nails, and i didnt quite realise it read like a pet post (i am. A little dumb). I have unfortunately been very busy and life is currently kicking my ass into the void so ive missed the post :(

As of now, my nails are unfortunately and disgustingly too short (my mom forced me to cut them a few days ago and threatened to not feed me if i didnt) and it feels. Wonky and yucky but ive found that scratching towels are nicer than digging nails into erasers (though flesh js still the best) so. Is that a good thing i think it is???? I dunno but erm. Anyways. I dont think my parents will never understand the deal with my nails, nor will they care-- after all, they have started to try and force me into acting like a "normal person"-- but its ok because when i leave im going to be a little more me without anyone to make me act like one of them i think.

Once again, i apologize for the confusion also can someone tell me what the general consensus was im very curious

(Attatching my hands below to prove i have not yet found a way to escape the human form and become something greater like a cat or an octopus but instead trapped withing this man-flesh)

And lastly- have this funny cat. Think of it as some sort of a pseudo-pet tax or smth

throws up hands, idk if that post is Supernatural or not, y'all argue it out in the replies and let me know what the consensus is