#Leon obvs checks everything

[pawsimses]

Might have started a little AU in Sims with an old OC (baby brother of Sherry named George) where instead of being separated from Sherry, he gains joint custody and both kids are unfortunately used as leverage to get him to work for the government (because Simmons still has his grubby mitts in this mess and he sucks). So Accidental Dad!Leon AU  His kids are what keep him going

[runningfrom2am]

the sea around us; chapter seventeen

In which Rafe Cameron has to choose between his dad and a pogue who's changing his outlook on life more and more every day.

(rafe cameron x f!oc)

(eventual!jj maybank x f!oc)

warnings/tags: violence, drug/alcohol use, smoking, sexual content (if you squint), slowburn, older brother’s best friend, (these tags are obv not exhaustive but regardless it’s pretty PG13)

wc: 1.7k

my masterlist

series masterlist

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

~Rafe's POV~

I haven't heard from Snowy since we came in from the pool together. Pretty much she's been fully occupied with the Pogues ever since. I wonder what they're doing, if she's safe. That's a stupid thought, so I brush it quickly out of my mind. What I can't seem to keep out of my mind is how amazing it felt to kiss her. Everything about her is so soft- her lips are no different. Fully sober and I think it gave me butterflies, I haven't kissed someone like that since I was fifteen. It's almost refreshing.

I try not to think about Snowy for long enough to get in a quick bump. I'm hardly successful. Then I grab my golf club and get ready to line up my shot, but I'm distracted by my friends laughing and talking. "Hey, uh, can you guys shut up, for like three seconds?" I ask, turning back to Topper, Kegs, and Kelce. "We've got to hurry if we want to finish this hole- the sun is setting," I say.

"Yeah, yeah of course." Kelce says, raising his hands.

They're ridiculously quiet at this point, definitely just making fun of me. I line myself up again, take the swing, and fluke it right as I hear one of their phones rings.

"Bro, are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"Hey, man, sorry, how was I supposed to know?" Kegs says, digging his phone out of his pocket.

I roll my eyes and walk back to the cart, throwing my club in as he answers it.

"Hey, Snowy." Instantly he's got my attention, and I turn to watch. He looks confused.

"Snowy? You there?" He asks again, I'm guessing he got no response. "If this is some stupid prank call it's not funny." He pulls it from his ear and puts it on speaker since we're all listening now.

We hear some static, and then some whispers as we look around at each other, confused. "Leon... it's late. I've been waiting for you.."

"What the fuck?" Topper laughs.

"Hey, shh." I shush him as the whispers continue.

"Guys, oh my god what do we do?" It's Snowy, I'd recognize her voice anywhere.

"Snowy?" I ask, but again, no response.

"We have to get down there, like, right now." And Sarah?

Suddenly, we hear some screaming, then the sound of something getting smashed, and then it cuts out.

I feel myself start shaking instantly, and I start pacing back and forth, running my hand through my hair. "Rafe, man, it's fine. They're just pranking Kegs, probably high out of their minds or something." Kelce says and I shake my head.

"Dude, no- you don't understand, you don't know-" I start but I'm cut off.

"I love you, dude, but you're absolutely pussy-whipped." He jokes and I shove him back into the golf cart.

"You don't know shit!" I hear myself shouting.

"Rafe, buddy, calm down, hey.." Kegs says, pulling me off of Kelce and wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I feel sick- I feel sick and I wish no one was touching me. Then I shove him off too.

"No, no... You guys don't know what those pogues have roped her into, I don't even really know but last week she was getting shot at because of that punk JJ, apparently, who's pulled them into some drug debts or some shit-" I try to explain.

"Rafe, they're fine. They're fine but let's just head back to the club, and we can go to John B's to check on them, alright?" Topper says and Kegs shakes his head in confusion.

"Wait, did you say drugs?" He asks and I nod. "Not like weed, right, you mean like hard shit?"

"I don't know, man. She just said "drugs", okay?" I sigh.

"Fuck- dude..." Kegs says, taking his hat off and rubbing his forehead. "What do we do? I've done everything I possibly can to keep her out of that and it's just not enough, apparently."

"Look, maybe it's just Barry and we can talk to him?" I suggest hopefully, not that I fully believe it.  "I- uh... I could get some money from my dad, I know how to get into the safe, and we could pay him out."

"He definitely would have said something to us if my sister and your.. I don't know, friend, as well as your sister and Topper's girl all were involved with him. No way he wouldn't say something." Kegs says, and I know he's right. "And you know we already owe him so we probably shouldn't poke the bear man."

"I... Okay, uh..." I try to think of a plan of action and calm down at the same time. I'm no help to her if I'm panicking. "Let's just get out of here, okay? We'll call Snowy when we get back to the club, and we'll try and find her." I insist, getting in the golf cart and my friends climb in.

The whole drive back I can feel myself shaking, I'm bouncing my leg and just trying to focus on finishing the drink Topper gave me to try and calm me down. It's far from working. I'm literally hearing that screaming in my head over and over again. It just won't stop. We eventually make it back, after the longest drive of my life. As soon as we get to the parking lot I'm on my phone, waiting for Snowy to pick up as I pace next to my car. It rings out until I hear her voice on the machine, I have to try again. I hangup and try again. This time, she answers.

I immediately hear laughter in the background. "Hi Rafe!" She sounds so happy- sloshed, too, probably. I furrow my brows. I assume she leaves, because the background noise slows to a stop.

"Snowy? What happened? Are you okay?" I fire off.

"I- yeah. I'm great. I'm great." She giggles. "What's up with you?"

"No, no, no, no don't do this to me." I sigh, walking away out of earshot of my nosey friends.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"You don't know? Do you remember when you called Kegs, about twenty minutes ago, screaming, and- and, and I heard this banging sound like someone was bashing you with a crowbar?" I say.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have butt-dialled him." She responds casually. I ball up my fist.

"Okay but you're not telling me what happened, here. You're not answering me."

"Nothing happened, Rafe. Everything is fine. We're safe. You don't need to worry." She says, that reassuring tone of hers taking over.

"No, I do, tell me."

"There's nothing to tell, even if there was, I don't know how it's your business anyhow." She slurs. Yeah, definitely drunk.

"If it's you, if it's your safety, it's my business. You are my business, Snowy." I say frustratedly, looking back at my friends as I talk, seeing they're still listening and having a laugh at me.

"Rafe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out, okay? I shouldn't have said that. But I promise you right now, we are fine. I am safe- okay?"

I sigh and rub my head as she continues. "We were watching a movie at The Chat, now we're just hanging out, having some bevies, hotboxing the Twinkie..." She laughs a little. I can't focus with those screams echoing in the back of my head, her screams. And she's trying to gaslight me right now.

"I know what I heard." I say slowly.

"No, I know, I believe you." Her voice is so soft- I can almost taste the sweetness of it in my state. "I just, we were watching a scary movie, and I am high off my ass. I don't know what I said or did, but I'm sorry I scared you."

"It's okay, Snow." I sigh, shaking my hand to loosen up my muscles after I had my fist clenched for so long. I don't want to believe she's lying to me. I mean, clearly she is fine. She's alive, and she sounds like she's having fun. "I just- it's so hard to predict what kind of shit you're getting into when you're with them and it's hard for me to keep track of that and make sure that you're good. Like it would be nice to have a heads up if you're going to be in danger- which seems pretty common for you-"

"Hey, I'm good." Snowy cuts me off, curbing my rant that even I knew wasn't going anywhere. "I get it, you're just like... a proactive type of person. You like to have a hold on things before they go wrong and that's great, I really appreciate you looking out for me."

I nod a little bit and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding with my panic. "Yeah... I guess so. I just like to be prepared, you know?" I agree.

"Totally, and that makes you really smart because a lot of guys around our age can't think ten minutes into the future." I can hear the smile in her tone, she's being so genuine. "That being said, Rafe, I'm okay. Despite what you think, my friends wouldn't let anything happen to me."

I smile a little to myself at that. She thinks I'm smart- this inflates my ego more than I know it probably should. When I don't respond because I'm processing what she said, she speaks again. "Hey, why don't you come over, and we'll take out the boat, just the two of us..." She says, trailing off.

I look back at her brother, already feeling his eyes on me. I know he can't hear her, but I can, and that is too much already.

"I would love to, you know I'd love to, but.. I just can't. I'm busy I can't." I shake my head, more trying to convince myself.

"Aw, okay.." She replies. If I don't hangup right now I'll fold. I just know it. Besides, I have to figure out how to pay Barry so I can get my bike back, like as soon as possible.

"Bye, Snowy. I'll talk to you later." I say before quickly hanging up. I shove my phone into my pocket and walk back over to my friends.

"They're fine." I tell Kegs, getting in my car and driving off before he can say anything.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

A/N; Another short one today sorryyyyy -R

taglist: @boo22sstuff@madelynie (message me if you want to be added!!)

[bropunzeling]

director's cut of your choice of scenes from the elopement timestamp :)))))

hello from the airport :)))) here is matthew and brady's conversation aka a secret fave scene of mine:

"Dude, you're so wound up," Brady says as they go through a bucket of pucks at Centene. The ring of the posts and their muffled curses fill the rafters. "Are you stressed about something? What is there to even stress about?" [this scene had two goals. one was more sibling/ratfam content (since its very lacking from the original works for obvious reasons) and the other was to get to the point at the end of the conversation. i decided that brady needed to be the guy because (1) i like writing him (2) matthew would actually open up to him and (3) because he's already been married for a couple years/is gonna be a dad/etc etc it adds this nice, your sibling is further along than you (helpful, rather than anxiety provoking)]

Matthew’s shot goes off the post and rolls away. He curses. "Nothing."

"Uh-huh." Instead of grabbing a new puck, Brady leans on his stick. "Try me." [matthew has not acted like this since the summer of 2022 and brady is not stupid]

Matthew takes another shot, straightens up. Brady’s still looking at him, flat and even. God, he’s not gonna move, is he. 

Giving up, Matthew checks the rink—safe, Leon went off to hit the bike five minutes ago and no one else is around [one of my editing points was reminding myself of the secrecy! like obvs they are not as horribly repressed and not telling anyone anything as they were in meet me halfway, but like, leon's reputation matters to both of them and neither want to test and see what would happen if it came out that they were dating. theyre admittedly sloppy, but it’s still a thing they think about]—and then says, in a low voice, "I asked Leon if she'd ever want to, uh. To marry me."

Brady sucks in a breath. "You proposed?"

Matthew shakes his head vigorously. "No. No. [i mean, you kinda did.] I didn't mean now, I meant in the future. Someday. You know."

"Sounds like you proposed,” Brady says, much too loudly. The whole building might have heard him.

"I didn't," Matthew insists. "All I wanted was for her to think about it, you know? I wasn't going to—to spring anything on her." [me on my relationship soapbox like SURPRISE PROPOSALS ARE SHITTY AND YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TALK ABOUT IT FIRST] He clutches at his stick. "Just—I wanted her to know that I was serious, and see if she'd also want that, and now it's been like four days, and she hasn't said anything, and I kind of think I fucked something up. Fuck, maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. What if I scared her off?"

"Dude. Breathe." Brady's infuriatingly calm. [the contrast between brady's general inflappability and matthew's anxiety is always funny to me.] Matthew glares at him. "I doubt you fucked anything up."

"You don't know that.”

Brady shrugs. "Okay, no, I don't know for sure, but like—you can't really think you scared her off."

"It's happened before," Matthew mumbles. [obvi like -- they are pretty good and over the events of The Battle of Alberta, Playoffs Edition; it's been years. however, that won't stop matthew from being anxious! last time he thought they were on the verge of a relationship upgrade leon ghosted him! he doesnt want that to happen again] He doesn't want to stand here while Brady looks at him with that calm, know-it-all expression. Maybe he'll go collect some pucks. He heads towards the goal.

Skates scrape behind him. "Matt." When Matthew looks over his shoulder, Brady’s trailing behind him with the bucket. "She’s stupid in love with you." [one of the fun things about this time stamp, along with everything, was finally getting to let this version of leon be stupid and romantic and overcome by her own feelings. she's soooooo gone.] At Matthew’s glare, Brady rolls his eyes. "I was there when she showed up last summer, remember? I think I'd know." [another fun thing was dropping bits of Lore that im not sure will ever become a proper cleaned up ao3 time stamp, and this was a big one i wanted to hit!!!]

Matthew bends down and grabs a few pucks out of the crease. He hadn't actually been awake when Leon had shown up in Florida last summer; he hadn't been expecting her. They had agreed, after the Oilers got knocked out, that she'd wait to come out until after the playoffs were over. She had to close up her house; debrief the season with Connor. And—they'd fought about it, over the phone, more yelling than there had been in a long time, but Leon had asked how he'd feel if he was there watching from the sidelines while she won the Cup without him. If he'd really be all that happy for her. [it was important to me to hit this because obvi we see the opposite in meet me halfway - matthew checking in and gone even when leon beat his team - but crucially they never did get to this point, and im not sure matthew ever thought through what it would look like if leon HAD made it that far. mr hiding in the garage when the cup was at his house probably wouldn't have handled it well! and like - even if they are in love and in a relationship, they are still the same fundamental people who are competitive and desperate to win and hate to see other people get what they want. so of course they fought.] [obvi my solution to this tension is in 5 or so years they play on the same team, win cup, put baby in cup.]

She'd apologized the next day, but she'd made her point, too. When she booked her flights for late June, he hadn't argued.

Then his sternum got cracked. Mom and Dad had to drive him home from the rink and help him out of his own clothes. And when he woke up after a miserable night, it was to find Leon asleep sitting up on the bed next to him, holding his hand like it was a lifeline. It wasn't until later that he'd gotten the details out of Mom—how Leon had shown up at two in the morning, exhausted and incoherent and making a beeline right for his bedroom. How she wouldn't leave, even when Mom tried to insist she go find an actual bed and get some sleep. [(a) she was doing so bad. (b) this is absolutely the tipping point for matthew's people to be like oh shit this is a big deal thing, as you can see with the below]

Matthew had spent the next few days thinking mostly about how much his chest hurt and how badly the team was playing, but he also noticed the way Brady and Leon had quietly teamed up—to get him out of bed, to get him dressed, to get him to the arena. [there is a whole unrealized scene in my head of them watching matthew suffer during game 4 on the couch and both are like, quietly so fucking stressed out for him, and it’s this little moment of quiet bonding and acceptance where its like you love him, i love him, we both wish he wasn't on the ice right now] Once he got past the self-pity, he’d found it pretty funny. However Brady had felt about Leon before—and Matthew was pretty sure that feeling wasn't acceptance, no matter how much Brady tried to hide it [brady really did not like leon after the Events of rob thomas' party. as soon as he connected the dots that girl matthew has been moping over for months = leon draisaitl, leon was fully on his shit list. he definitely headhunted her that whole next season]—apparently Matthew breaking himself could smooth over almost anything.

"Listen," Brady says now, leaning against the net and holding out the bucket for Matthew to dump pucks into. "Do I think she was a dick when she ghosted you? Yeah. But she's fucking crazy about you now. You can't miss it."

Matthew drops a handful of pucks into the bucket with a clunk, then heads for the boards. "Okay, but like—she hasn't said anything," he says. "What if she doesn't want to?"

"What? Get married?"

Matthew nods. [crux of the scene!】

Brady skids to a stop by the boards. "I don't know, man. I mean, maybe she doesn't because she thinks it's too soon. Or maybe it's not that big a deal to her. Half the guys from Europe do the whole, you know. The partner thing." [matthew: spiraling. brady: repository of reasonable takes] He shrugs. "I guess the question is, if she wants to be with you, but doesn't want to marry you, are you gonna be okay with that?" [and here we go! so like, a Big Theme of meet me halfway/the girl!leon cinematic universe (gcu) is like, dealing with expectations and hangup and how you pictured your life going vs how it's actually going vs how you actually want it to go. and obviously for most of it this is leon's journey - reconciling hockey and a personal life, understanding that she doesn't have to shut out friends or family or the potential for partnership in order to have a career, that it won't make her lesser or softer, that it’s okay to be soft in the first place.

but. BUT. it's very important to me that matthew is ALSO going through this reexamination of his own expectations. his picture of life was not so subtly based on his parents and structured in a very particular way. and falling for another hockey player who wouldn't be staying home, who would push and challenge him and be her own independent person, naturally upends some of those comfortable images he had of his future. and this is just one more instance of him needing to look at what he imagined for himself and changing the picture to fit not what he thought he would get, but what will actually work for him and leon, what they actually want together. and here and in the next scene is when it hits that its not about the trappings but about the knowing. he doesn't want leon to push him away, he wants to know that theyre going to be doing this together, but that doesn't mean they have to do things the way everyone else does, either.]

Matthew chews the inside of his cheek. Would he be? It's hard to know. For so long, he's had that little picture of what his future looked like. Even as it changed, that part—being married, that sense of permanency—it’s always been there. He doesn't know how he'd feel if it were gone. [again the permanency is the thing. obviously i am like, in the middle of my own feelings about all this, but really it is like: you're here with me, im with you. even when we're annoying or stressed out or tired or miserable or caught covid on our romantic vacation when you were gonna propose. you're with me and i'm with you and it's gonna be for the long haul.]

"Just something to think about," Brady says after a moment. He claps Matthew on the shoulder. "But for what it's worth, I think she's pretty fucking serious about you."

Matthew hip checks him back. Brady doesn't move, the fucker. "When did you get so smart, asshole?"

Brady laughs. "Who says I haven't always been this smart?"

"You were a fucking idiot when you were thirteen," Matthew retorts.

Brady shoves him into the boards, the bucket of pucks clattering to the ice. "You really gonna bring up teen shit? Because I remember—" [brothers!]

Things go a little haywire after that, first chasing each other and then all the loose pucks scattered across the rink. By the time they've collected everything, they're both laughing hard enough that they can't catch a breath.

"Hey," someone shouts. Leon's leaning on the boards, wet hair sticking to her head and the nape of her neck. "Are we gonna go soon? I'm starving." [relatable]

"Yeah," Matthew calls back, making his way towards her. "We're done, I think."

When he makes it over the boards, Leon’s already reaching out, one hand fisting in his jacket. She yanks him closer, kissing him, then pulls back and says, "Go shower. You stink." [they would be so much better at keeping their secret relationship secret if they didn't want to make out and or fuck whenever they're within five feet of each other. alas]

"Uh-huh," Matthew says, ducking back in to kiss her again, just to see if her nose will wrinkle. It does. [gross!!!! and!!! in love!!!]

"Shower," Leon repeats, slapping his chest and shoving him towards the door. "Hey, Brady. You coming to lunch?"

Matthew misses whatever Brady says to her, but he doesn't miss when Brady comes into the locker room and snaps a towel at him. "Told you," Brady says in a low voice. Almost subtle, for him. "Crazy about you." [rip to brady, who has to witness god's most embarrassing pda every day of his summer and then deal with his older brother thinking that his girlfriend doesn't love him]

Matthew busies himself with his towel. His cheeks are warm.

[hyperfixationtimego]

iwjdjdjdjc information overload but yes I agree, sans chapter 2 (togami suggests it with some transphobia he’s since unlearned, and obv Chihiro is like “...I’m not doing that”) they do end up creating canon cases!

Sayaka and Leon manage to pull off a fake of chapter one’s case on their own, probably Makoto knows too because they asked permission to mess up his room. It’s pretty convincing when they first look at it, but Mukuro is trying to check her pulse and gives a little “please, be alive” and...Sayaka just immediately pulls her into a hug and apologizes because 💙 queen has humility. After that they don’t try to pull that, or at least they clue in the other people - queer eye anon

YEAH

it’s possible they manage to pull it off with a few tweaked details, but yeah the transphobic bit gets thrown WAY out

Togami’s like “boy in a dress” *points at chihiro* meanwhile she’s suppressing the moves Mukuro has taught her during training because oh boy haha if he doesn’t shut his mouth there’s about to be a real life murder- (mondo and leon also almost punch his lights out, but chi manages to de-escalate things before they get any farther)

so chihiro’s still the victim, and I think they do keep the genocide jack tidbit, although for the sake of this au and also my sanity, I’d like to propose that Jill is not, in fact an actual murderer but simply a huge edgelord 💛 because in this house we see ableism and we Rewrite It Because Canon is Ass <3

so, genocide jack is entirely fictional and only exists for the sake of this “case,” and when Jill hears about the serial killer angle, she’s like ME ME LET ME DO IT I WANNA BE THE WEIRD SERIAL KILLER DUDE PLEASE LET ME and they’re like yeah sure

(she refers to herself as “the Ultimate Murderous Fiend,” but that’s just something she likes to say lol she’s technically either considered a reserve course student or isn’t listed as a student at all? Like the physical system might be considered the student? I don’t know I was having trouble finding information on this kind of thing)

also genocide jack doesn’t just kill men for this, either - that was another thing togami proposed, but everyone was like “....no just make it a serial killer that kills everyone tf?” and so they did, but kept the red herring aspect of the crime scene being “altered” and not fitting the specific details of the “serial killer” cases

also highkey mondo would never participate in something so dumb if it weren’t for chihiro going 🥺👉👈 please?

and he’s like “fine I GUESS-”

also hdvdvdvdvdvd oh my god yeah???

the idea of Sayaka and Leon going up to makoto and being like “hey can we trash your room so we can fake a murder” is SO funny they are such dipshits I love them both ❤️

and also makoto reluctantly agrees because. first of all he KNOWS what will happen if you put maizono and kuwata in a room together and tell them they have free reign for total destruction and havoc, but on the other hand, it’s for a good cause <3 plus he’ll just,,,,,take everything valuable/important to him before they start hdbdbsbdbd

they promise to clean up afterwards ofc!!

AND OH?? THAT LITERALLY HURT OH MY GOD

[ //tw: trauma, ptsd, mention of gore

being the ultimate soldier, Mukuro probably has a lot of experience being exposed to gore and corpses, and one of her biggest fears is probably seeing the people she cares about in the same or similar positions as those she’s witnessed die on the battlefield. she’s able to steel her emotions, because that’s how she’s been trained, but there’s still overwhelming panic and vivid memories that come flooding back to her.

so yeah, because of this, she doesn’t usually participate. If she does, she asks for Sayaka or Sakura to explicitly describe what the “crime scene” and “victim” look like, though requests that they make it a point to say ‘paint’ or ‘syrup’ or whatever in place of blood, and also requests that they avoid using the word corpse or making references to death. Even with this, she sometimes needs to leave the room, and everyone understands! Nobody forces her - this is supposed to be fun, so if she’s not having a good time, it’s imperative that she take off and find something that relaxes her or makes her happy!]

but yeah???? hhhvvvvdvdvdv also the idea of sayaka springing to life to hug her gf is just.....so good? I love???

[xo-dailypier-blog]

[Post 2 of 3]

How about I take a break from all the #dramz to bring you all your BURNING QUESTIONS.

That’s right, all the question included were sent in by you guys. If you want to be included in my next Q&A post, send me una pregunta (sorry, I’m actually bi-lingual now) and you just might see it on here.

Let’s get started!

ANON said : “Jack and Bree were getting pretty friendly at the ABC party.”

Yeah and the #BreeHive were less than pleased. But can you really blame Bree? Jack is so hott(two t’s). Sucks about his skills in bed though, maybe he’s a good listener?

thanks for the q -- DP

ANON said : “who are some sneaky bitches that havent been mentioned that you think we should be keeping our eyes on aka im trying to avoid chlamydia.”

OMG, where do I begin?

1. AINSLEY

There’s no chlamydia here, but has no one stop to think about where it is that she came from? She drove in here on her fucking motorcycle (lesbian?) and has had an interesting fixation on the Circus Family™️. I did a little research to find out since the ALDRIDGE’S are FOOLS.*

Ok, so, here’s the skinny: Ainsley’s mother, Charlene, had an TANTRIC AFFAIR with one, Henry Aldridge. This went on for years until Ainsley was BIRTHED. So what does that make Ainsley? That’s right! If we didn’t have enough proof that this town is the second circle of HELL, we have another DEMON clown to add to the CLAN.

But that doesn’t explain her interest in the family, or the alleged dart board with her half siblings’ faces on it. Is she trying to get to know them, or destroy them?

I guess we will see!

2. LEON

This particular one DOES have chlamydia, but that’s the least of your worries. This fake ass Jax Teller has a history of VIOLENCE! Meaning that he KILLS for sport. He just moved here to carry out the DEVIOUS plans that the (alleged) secret society (which he is a part of) requested of him so I don’t have too much dirt AT THE MOMENT, but what I do know tells me that you all should STAY AWAY! Or else.

3. IVY

Does she have chlamydia? Probably not (keyword: Probably), BUT what I do know is that she’s had a few unconventional ways of getting to where she is. Like she totally has had multiple affairs with married men in hopes that they pay for her pet school or whatever. Some even say that she has ruined multiple marriages in her quest for financial gain.

So in short Ivy Affairchild is a home wrecker, so ladies and gents hide your partners cause she’s scams whomever she want!

Sidenote - When Adam was deployed, they totes were pen pals and their messages got SUPER EXPLICIT. She sent him COOCH SHOTS for his viewing pleasure and EVERYTHING. The GAG? Adam had been in a RELATIONSHIP at the time! Disgusting. Let’s hope she doesn’t procreate with Adam and brings us another fucking Aldridge.

4. MARLEY

She had chlamydia a few months ago but momma got that CLEARED UP. And as of right now? Marley Callahan is really shaping up to be That Bitch. All of the guys and girls were WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER during the event from Noah, Devin, Jocelyn, Adam, Kessa (*throw up emoji*) and even our Beauty Queen Jack. She might not be a home wrecker like SOME people, but she can absolutely take your boo! You go Marley!

Sidenote: Oddly enough she hooked up with Ivy Affairchild during the event, maybe she can vaginally give her some Bad Bitch Energy.

great question anon! -DP

ANON said: “who are your top 5 favorite people?”

Five is pushing it. I’ll do top three.

(We’re going to exclude Alegenda and Daddy Sorrentino, for obvious reasons.)

JAMIE CARTER - Though he has sociopathic tendencies, such as stealing paintbrushes and acting like nothing is wrong, he really warms my heart. He might surround himself with egoists (not naming any names). But I think he is a sweetheart that should be protected at all costs. YES, I still ship him with ALEGENDA, someone has to remove the Aldridge last name from this queen. Alina Carter sounds SO much better anyways.

DEVIN TORRES - Again, he has the same sociopathic tendencies as Jamie. Let’s not forget the time he ASSAULTED his team mate in a DRUG INDUCED rage! But times have changed and DaddyDevinTorres is no longer on the #Roids. I think he is incredibly funny, super romantic, and extremely good looking (obvs). At the moment, I will refrain from discussing he and Alegenda and how he belongs in the Alegacy, even though that is what I believe.

IRIS KARAM - All of my hope for sane people in this town have gone out of the window. With the exception of her. Iris is such a shining example of how to act. Some would even go as far as saying that she is a stronger, more elusive, more powerful version of Fraudi. She’s beautiful, actually Australian, and most importantly she has great style (that didn’t come from a bogo sale). In fact, I loved her Summer Crush looks so much that I’m gifting her with an Unlimited Gift Card with money wired from Lancaster Tire & Auto for all of her shopping desires! Check your Email girl! I’ve already sent it! xo

Honorable Mention: BernBern<3, i don’t know much about him to put him on the list, but I just want to swallow his [redacted].

again, great question anon! -DP

Welp! That’s all of the questions I have to answer! Until next time, make sure you are sending in your BURNING QUESTIONS.

kisses, DP