#Leaving guilt behind

[thecatholiccrusade]

Forgiven & Free: Leaving Guilt Behind

Have you ever felt the heavy weight of guilt bearing down on your soul, even after confessing your sins and seeking God’s forgiveness? It’s a common struggle for many Catholics – the lingering sense of shame and unworthiness that seems to cling to us, despite our best efforts to move forward in grace. But the truth is, holding onto guilt after repentance may actually be a trap set by the Devil…

[ch0c00n]

sunflower week 1: nightmare

+closeup and bonuses

[yeonggisbitch]

i like that prospero and annabel were introduced as people who would do anything to get what they want, that the end justifies the means. however, now prospero is shown to have loyalty and a “conscience”. he wants to save ada bc he considers her one of their own and that will make a cool clash between both him and annabel. especially bc prospero thinks annabel has his same values and is on the same page as him.

[exgirlfiend]

you ever think about the fact that they stayed in the past for several days longer than they needed to and it’s very much implied that swaine was the one holding them back. bc I do

[tls12lessthan3]

i think the thing that appeals to me so much in a yoo joonghyuk being married to seolwha but in some sort of affair with kim dokja scenario is like. kim dokja has this perception of himself as an inherently Bad Thing to happen to a person right. like he is a burden to bear and he brings only bad things to the people who bear it. which is largely untrue of course including in this scenario. but also if their affair gets found out it will kind of nuke yoo joonghyuk's marriage. like kim dokjas love is not life ruining for most people but it is a littllleeee for a married yoo joonghyuk. so this feeds into kim dokjas neuroses and self torments sooo well. here is everything he wants in front of him on a silver platter and he is fucking desperate to sink his teeth in but!! also here is proof of the damage it will cause in the form of lee seolwha smiling and inviting him over for dinner.

so either we get kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk in an awful emotional affair where kim dokja is refusing take that final step but still so so in love with a married man in a way that hurts so bad OR we get a physical affair that kim dokja is terrified of and self flaggelating for and using as proof to himself that he doesn't deserve any love at all because look at what he does with it. and either way you have a yoo joonghyuk who doesn't really understand this and reaches for kim dokja not knowing how much it hurts him because he just loves him. and thats how kim dokja convinces himself that he truly is ruining yoo joonghyuks life and runs away to like. germany or something over it!

[blarrghe]

I also really like dorian's kind of similar plot re: culture and family clashes due to essentially homophobia but really a more complex identity issue that doesn't fit within his rigid society. I don't not like that narrative. I've played around in that plot a whole lot actually, it pulls a certain very relatable heartstring. but I think the way it's presented with Taash felt a lot more like someone else's narrative pasted over their character, like the Qun as a culture was a secondary backdrop piece to a story that would be told anyway, and really better fits someone else. I don't want to make assumptions about the writer because I do think people are capable and largely should be allowed to write about experiences that aren't their own or that are influenced by cultures that aren't their own. but while Dorian remains staunchly Tevinter, reclaiming his identity and fighting for his place in his society, Taash's framing seems to imply that if a rigid culture won't have you, you need to identify outside of it entirely.

To me, this is a narrative I see most often from people whose experience with an identity crisis happened within modern (American) Christianity, where the cultural background is really only the kind of consumerist western secular Christianity we're all stuck with. Often, leaving the church is akin to leaving a cult, and dropping the philosophies and beliefs of your upbringing is a necessary part of accepting your own identity. To portray the Qun this way, which is an incredibly rigid society with very clear collectivist philosophies, does almost work, because there is a black and white frame at play from within that culture. Even though it's got clear ethnic roots, leaving the Qun makes you not Qunari in a very clear-cut way.

However, Taash and their mother specifically introduce the concept of deep cultural roots, ritual practices, and a personal connection to the heritage of the Qun even from outside its governance, which added a depth to that issue we hadn't yet seen. And then I as Rook get to be the one to say to Taash -- be an individual, actually. Who cares what anyone thinks? For a game that's really trying to talk like my counselling psychology textbooks, that's really not how you're supposed to address someone who clearly does still care about their cultural roots and the collective. And I don't know that I need to address Taash like a trained therapist who respects their respect for their mother, I can say "fuck your mom and her worldview" if I want, and many people might, I don't mind my non-Qunari character getting the option to have a bias and not understand the Qun, but that adopting that stance is the only way that Taash can be who they are feels telling of the bias this entire game is written with.

Additionally, the Qun being so preoccupied with role and purpose in previous lore actually gave it a kind of flexibility that feels entirely forgotten -- in Qunari philosophy, if you feel that you "are" something you are not "supposed" to be, then in gist it turns out that you are that thing. We see this in how elves are drawn to it because their aptitudes will be respected over their race, and in the discussion Bull gives us about how Krem's birth sex wouldn't matter in the Qun because he meets the criteria of male warrior first ("the Shadow Dragons have some fancy term for it", Taash tells me. Didn't the Qunari have one too? In fact, theirs is the only term I remember hearing.) There's a sense that place in the Qun is determined by essentially what the Qun sees your soul as being. How they would deal with a soul that's in two places at once or isn't one thing or another is an interesting question. Unfortunately it feels a lot like retconning to say "they just wouldn't answer it and would make you try to fit what you were born looking like". The Qun is this really interesting ultra-rational set of minimally spiritual governing philosophies that is flawed because by that very nature it is also oppressive, because people don't work on ultra rationalism and complete collectivism, and any iteration of a top-down governing body forcing order in a society begets corruption. It leaves a lot of room for potential stories about learning to break away and follow your own path without losing your respect for the better (egalitarian) principles that raised you. But Taash's isn't that story.

I do think an identity struggle narrative where someone has to figure out how to refuse to fit into something they're not is a compelling one, and one the Qun has given us before, but that's been in its flaws as being a deterministic society that doesn't allow for a lot of independent ambition. That looks different, I think, from what felt a lot more like run-of-the-mill (western) sexism. What exactly does the Qun say a woman should be? The Qun has previously presented as almost entirely sex-egalitarian. A nuturing person is a tammassarin, etc. And living outside the Qun while still attempting to keep its values and rituals alive shouldn't look, I think, like your mom insisting you be a girl even though you don't feel like one. What is a girl to Taash's mom? And why is it dresses? I'm just not really buying it in this context, even though its a relatable story that pulls a good heartstring, and may in fact be a very relatable thing to many nonwhite people or nonchristian cultures that do display gender essentialism and homophobia. gender essentialism and homophobia isn't just a white christian thing (though it was often the product of colonialism, that doesn't mean it hasn't taken on significantly entwined cultural precedence from there within nonchristian or nonwhite cultures), but combating it with fierce individualism and a rejection of culture and worldview...kinda is.

And it is disappointing, because the illustration of those feelings and the kindness of a likeminded response that you are able to give (if you play nonbinary as I do at least, but I assume even if not) is so novel and so heartfelt and so touchingly sweet. I think the personal discussion over these feelings and the insecurity, anger, and confusion that they come packaged with when your community doesn't allow for them is incredibly needed right now. I really like Taash's character, and I like their conflict with their mother. I just don't think it fits the context it's been put in, and I don't think its resolution is cognizant of its own worldbuilding, and that feeling of being slapped on does the whole thing a disservice.

And the part I don't think I have the time to get into right now, but which bears at least touching on, is that the cultures given these narratives of cult-adjacency and fighting for personal freedom are never the one that is very obviously based on Christianity/Catholicism and is the dominant one of the world. Tevinter is Andrastian, yes, but Dorian's homophobia narrative isn't religiously motivated, it's an issue of class and expectation. this is fine. but it becomes a lot more questionable when all the rigidity and homophobia in the world only happens to brown people or their cultural stand-ins. and when it happens, both times, in a way that is honestly very white.

[chraustinjesse]

Hero - Champion - Herald

Yarren Mahariel - Fior Hawke - Adhas Lavellan

More versions under the cut

[sweetteaanddragons]

Boromir is excluded since he was first; Pippin is excluded since he won the first poll.

I am very curious about the people who voted for Sam in the last round given his canonical level of resistance; whoever you vote for, I would love to see your reasons in the tags!

[doodledrawsthings]

Mad At Yi Why Anon - Thanks for explaining! It makes more sense now lol. I never expected them to be grateful for being "saved," I'd just think it's certainly a choice for them to Most Mad at the only guy who wasn't going to let them rot. But if it's a "we need someone to blame" then that makes sense.

Even if he wasn’t gonna let them rot, he WAS gonna take them out with him had his True Ending Sacrifice gone as it had in the game. They don’t know this, this is just extra DoobYi characterization. But he wasn’t expecting to be alive, either tbh.

That said, he takes the public opinion of him and the Sols very seriously and doesn’t blame them even if sometimes the grievances are heavy-handed. This is a Yi who will apologize many times over for the actions of the council, for the failure of the project, for the lies and the lives ruined, both apemen and solarian, and for the individual hurts he’s caused to Kuafu, Goumang, Shaunshuan and Heng. If Eigong and many of the other Sols are not here to share the responsibility, then he will shoulder the blame, as he believes he should. Even if, y’know, everyone who IS glad he didn’t die is telling him to knock it off.

[doublel27]

I said it weeks ago, but loved the confirmation that Moo is the catalyst for Kang dreaming again and opening himself up to go after what he wants.

Kang was more open and honest in this episode with everyone who matters to him than he’s been in any other episode. He was straight forward instead of deflecting in fear.

He owned up to his feelings for Moo with Neth and admitted that it was his mother that was the greatest reason he didn’t want to pursue Moo.

He asked his mother about how his father wooed her, and it lead to a beautiful coming out scene where Kang admitted that he didn’t want to disappoint her or cause her pain again. And his mom was able to affirm that he’s not a disappointment and he hasn’t caused her pain. That she loves him as he is and he deserves to be loved.

And he went and did art outside of his own paints, going back to the place he was tutored.

He told Moo that Moo’s determination to follow his dreams inspires Kang to not let his die. He opens up to Moo, not only agreeing to date him but to share why he didn’t go to university in the shadow of his fathers death and his mothers disapproval of his art, and that he’s planning to submit his portfolio and pursue his dream.

I don’t think that it’s going to be a fully smooth ride, but I am so glad to see him being honest with all the people in his life today. His truths were so carefully protected by his high walls but he opened the doors to the people who matter.

[stories4eve]

Villian and Violent..

Infant and innocent.

Baby, both arms cradle you now.

Both arms cradle you now.

[starry-beetle]

Learning to simply trust people in that their being kind to me is genuine kindness and not some ploy to get closer to me, just to mock me... That's been hard. My home life was basically being punished for my physical and mental health from day one, and did NOT leave an easy way of trusting folks in my mind.

Why am I saying this publicly? Because I don't want my avoidant personality to keep being some blank mask of silence I present to people. Even if I am not frequently around, I want to trust people and make friends

[sysig]

Now that they can, would they want to spend a lot of time together? (Patreon)

[sprucestairs]

Pollux is literally his dad's only kid still alive, and he's not even the favourite child. His dad likes Will more than him.

He likes his favourite cousins boyfriend more than his son.

Like.

At the end of tsats Will and Nico get a hug and "all of you could drown in the lake for all I care, but I'd prefer if you two died last"

Meanwhile Pollux doesn't even see Dionysus for like... at least an entire week after Castor dies. Probably longer. Like yeah Dionysus WAS at camp after the battle of the labyrinth, but he left after curing Chris of madness and convincing the council of cloven elders to give Grover one last chance. I'm pretty sure the next time Pollux sees his dad after Castor dies is when he comes back to camp post Manhattan. And then a couple months later he's gone again bc Zeus doesn't want the gods interacting with the mortal world.

I know that we get a throwaway line from Apollo about Dionysus staying with the twins and their mum, but we've got no idea how long that lasted, or if he was even like. Decent as a father. (I mean, then again it's more than almost any other demigod got)

we've got ZERO direct interactions between Dionysus and ANY of his kids.

Like yeah something something, probably not allowed to show favouritism to his own kids, but since fucking WHEN has Dionysus taken the rules seriously/ at face value. Ignoring rules is the whole reason he's THERE.

He literally just doesn't give a fuck about Pollux. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

[mageknife]

every time i remember laevis named his dog shianni and his wolf soris and his bear cyrion i start animorphing into a feral beast

[inferno-silentdragon]

Open the Door

Happy 2nd Anniversary OMORI! 

Originally posted December 25, 2022