#Learning to Love

[sebadztian]

At 320k words, "Learning to Love" is officially my longest work to date (surprise, surprise). What started as a fun side project has developed into its own story in a little over a year, and now that it's finished, I'm so proud of it!

For those of you who don't know what it is about, it's a modern AU of Kuroshitsuji with a lot more teeth-rotting fluff, drama, and romance.

Read the last chapter here and here's an image that I commissioned from @luci-on-the-moon a while back. Thank you! 😄

[medusapelagia]

Learning to Love 1

(Part 1, Part 2...)

This fic was supposed to be a pinch but in the end wasn't needed anymore so it collected dust in my Scrivener’s file for a few months. A HUGE thank you to @mystrade-lecroft that was my beta ages ago!

Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve /Billy Tags: enemies to lovers, no upside down Words: 1117

Billy hasn't talked to Steve since the fight they had at Byers’ house, when he found his little step-sister alone in a stranger's house with the other two boys and Harrington.

There was a reason they were all there. Lucas and Max had gone on a little nerd date and the kid's bicycle got a flat tire so he called his best friend, Dustin, who called his best friend, Harrington, who picked them up with his car and drove them to the Byers’ to fix the bicycle.

Billy knows Max and he knows she may have gone with Lucas even if she was grounded just to piss him off, but his father wasn't going to listen to any kind of excuses so Billy had to defend Max's honor, she was his sister after all. It doesn't matter if they don't share the same blood, she is family now, and even if most of the time Billy can’t stand her, he was not going to let anyone put his dirty paws on her, ok?

That’s why he got so mad at Harrington when he lied to him about his sister. Pretending she wasn’t there when he could see her staring at him from the window.

They fought hard, and Billy took Harrington by surprise, crashing a plate on the side of his head and punching him in the face until he laid on the ground unconscious. Then he took Max's arm, who was still screaming something about him being crazy or some shit like that and dragged her to the car.

"Never do something like that again, are we clear?" He hissed in her face. And since that day she didn't, or at least if she did, she became sneakier. Billy doesn’t really care, the important thing is that his father is satisfied, and if Neil Hargrove is happy everyone at home is happy.

Does Billy feel guilty about punching Harrington? Maybe. But he did what had to be done and now the rich boy is keeping his distance from him and his step-sister, which is good. 

Nobody knows exactly what happened, everyone assumed that they had a fight about some girl and even if the chief of police insisted, Harrington didn't file a report against him. Billy should be grateful, a report on his record would not look good, but he wasn't wrong assuming that the pretty boy was going to do something inappropriate with his sister, well, step-sister. After all, he is the one who took her to that house in the middle of nowhere when he could have just driven her back home. It doesn't matter that Max probably begged the high school boy not to, Steve should have known better and drove her home the same.

Billy takes his seat at the back of the class. Hagan on his right is complaining about something Carol did during the weekend when the teacher gets in the classroom and announces that she is going to give them a pop quiz. Everyone starts to complain loudly, while the woman gives them the tests telling them that they should already know the answers and that the test is to help them get prepared before the final test.

Billy doesn't complain, he was always one of the best students in every school he attended so he is not worried at all. He quickly fills the test and gives it back to the teacher who smiles at him and tells him that he can go out to grab a smoke if he wants, but he has to get back before the class ends because she wants to talk to him.

The blond guy raises an eyebrow, confused, he knows he did well on the test, why did she ask him to get back to class?

"Nothing to worry about." She keeps smiling and Billy nods, going outside, the cigarette in his mouth as soon as the door closes behind him. The blond boy loves smoking, he loves everything about smoking; he loves the rituality of taking the cigarette, putting it in his mouth, taking the lighters, and inhaling.

The first drag of smoke immediately calms him down. It doesn't matter if he is fidgeting, or anxious, or scared, when he inhales the world stops spinning and all his worries and insecurities disappear.

Billy stares at the parking lot, wondering how he ended up in a shit place like Hawkins, where the more exciting thing to do is go to the quarry, stare at the cliff, and wonder if to jump or not.

After smoking the cigarette to the filter, Billy gets back to class. There are just a few students left and Harrington is among them, still sitting at his desk with a big frown biting his pen anxiously.

"Time is up. Please give me your tests."

Harrington sighs, reads the questions one last time, and gives the test back to the teacher.

"Could you wait for a moment, Steve?"

The boy shrugs, his arms crossed in front of him to protect him from whatever the teacher is going to say to him.

When the teacher has collected everyone's assignment the only two students in the class are Billy and Steve.

"So, Steve, I know you are having some difficulties this year, but even if you left the basketball team to concentrate on your studies, I must say that it's not enough. I think you might take advantage of some tutoring. And I think that you and Billy could be a good match. So I wanted to suggest to Billy to tutor you to see if this can help your grades, what do you say?"

The chestnut-haired boy glares at the other guy "I'm sorry Mrs. Johnson but Billy and I... we can't study together." 

"I'm not saying that you have to become best friends, but Billy is the class's best student and I'm sure he could help you. And some tutoring would be good for you, Billy. You are really intelligent but your behavior is a little bit... explosive."

The blond-haired guy nods, he knows that his behavior is not the best and that tutoring someone would definitely look good on his college application. But he also knows that he can't stay in the same room as Harrington, it would be like putting two lions in the same cage.

"Overcoming your differences could benefit both of you.” Mrs. Johnson insists “Would you like to give it a try?"

Steve shrugs and glares at Billy, "Whatever he says."

If Harrington thinks that he is too coward to accept the challenge he is fucking wrong. "At your place, tonight, after basketball practice." It sounds like a threat, and maybe it is.

[sincerelynoir]

Came stumbling upon the narrow path as if I’m beer laced

Alcoholic, reeking of bad decisions, seeking gods face

And yet I stretch my hands out in desperation, chasing,

Yearning for a voice in the distance, a kind whisper

Of what’s to come, god if your kingdom comes

Will your will be done through me

Am I good enough to carry you

heavenly tributes and covenant, commandments. Teach me,

I beg of you, on my knees in church and in my bedroom

Make me worthy of your love and here you come as a dove

Landing on my shoulder “child you Carry too much” you say

“As if These boulders will somehow free you of your sins

Begone! I died on that cross for you to begin

My child it pains me to see you weep into your

Tan freckled hands, imploring, exploring, desperately

Trying to just get past the beep of an answering machine

I swear I listen in real time my child and every warm kiss

On your heart is just the start of what my love feels like

You may have fallen face first on the narrow path

But you crawled it hands and knees fingertips dirtied.

Gritting your teeth, Naomi, the first will be last and the last will be first

Put down your pain and put down your hurt!”

And so I do .

And so I do.

[itsonly4-ever]

Chapters: 53/53 Fandom: Labyrinth (1986) Rating: T Relationships: Jareth/Sarah Williams Characters: Jareth, Sarah Williams Genre: Fantasy/Romance

Summary:

When Mr. Williams experiences his second divorce and the family experiences rough times. They escape to a world of fantasy. Sarah just hopes that the Goblin King doesn't find out about it.

[itslenagain]

Relearning

Once upon a time, I believed I knew what love was.

I played the part well. I learned the lines, I followed the script. I thought all I had to do was stay in character.

Right now, I am relearning.

You see, the problem with believing that all love is a performance is that when the performer takes their last bow, when the lights go off, when the props are in the trunk and the makeup is off and the crowd has gone home, the performer becomes themself again.

Yes, as a thespian, I believe performances can change you. But, undeniably, you're still your own person underneath. And if love is just a performance, does it mean anything when you're off the stage?

I'm discovering a love that exists when the marquee is empty, when the stage is dark. There's a love that is real when nobody is watching.

My love? Her smile is on my mind no matter what costume I put on. But honestly, around her, I don't want to wear one.

Loving her comes with me everywhere I go, it colors everything I see, it is the underscore of everything I do. I go off script because no play that's been written could sum it up.

Could any of the great playwrights have written the way your hands feel on my skin?

Or penned the night I took off my mismatched socks so you could wear them to help your aching feet?

Could any choreographer recreate the steps to the dancing we've done together in loud concert halls when all I could focus on was you next to me?

Could any director give the right notes to replicate how I hugged you tight enough to momentarily forget about the hospital walls surrounding us?

Sometimes I forget how to act when I'm not performing.

But for you? I'm passionately relearning.

[rstandsforromance]

How do you do it? How did you fix my heart that I didn't realize was broken?

How did you love me so easily when I thought I was so hard to love?

[howdoiloveagain]

A Work in Progress

I feel ready to love again. To share my life with a partner in crime. To find that person that I just cannot live without. But....how to do that after being fiercely independent for the last decade. I've had to rely on myself to get through a lot of loss. I've learned to love myself. And I'm so proud of making it through and coming out the other side. I can find joy in new relationships, but I can't reimagine my life with a partner.

I read an article recently talking about love after loss. That we're looking for love again using our old lens of what love is. But after our journeys, we aren't that same person. Somehow we have to figure out what love looks and feels like to us now as the person we've become. I'm working on it. Thanks for reading.

[sebadztian]

My WIPs...

I currently have 3 WIPs. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have started on so many, but oh well, what's done is done...

The updates are kinda slow right now since I'm kind of busy with my new gig, but I'm working on them all, I promise!

1. Ciel Phantomhive and the Order of the Phoenix. The latest installment in my Demon Wizard series, a Kuroshitsuji x Harry Potter crossover. Basically, Ciel and Sebastian go to Hogwarts and they're going to help Harry & co. fight Voldemort. In return, Ciel gets to learn the basic of magic and at the end of the war, they'll get Dumbledore's soul.

2. Learning to Love. A modern take on Black Butler. Ciel is the sole heir of the Phantomhive family and one day he's going to be the CEO of Funtom, following in his father's foosteps. As per the tradition in their family, when he turns 18, Ciel is given a companion of his own, his advisor, his right hand man, essentially, his butler. This somewhat lighthearted story takes the slice-of-life approach with lots and lots of fluff and plenty of angst.

3. The Demon's Mate. My take on the OG Black Butler, with a twist. After losing everything on his 10th birthday, Ciel makes a deal with a demon. But at the end of their contract, instead of taking his soul, the demon will take Ciel as his mate, whether the boy wants to or not. This one generally follows the manga events/arcs, with some elements from the anime as I see fit. Oh, and Ciel doesn't have a twin and/or a fiance. For non-HP/crossover fans or those who are not into modern!AU, this one might be for you.

The biggest challenge in working on those WIPs is that I have to work with not one, not two, but three different Sebastian & Ciel, and three different Sebaciel dynamics. It really gets very crowded up there sometimes...

Please check them out when you have the time and I hope you're going to enjoy them!

[divine-sunlight]

I feel like I haven't appreciated Lady Aphrodite enough in this page, and that just cannot be.

Thank you my Lady for helping me through my self-love journey and for making me prioritize myself, my body and mind.

Thank you for letting me explore myself and my style in a safe space in which none of my desicions are judged.

Thank you for aiding me when I feel unhappy, for showing me the beautiful sides of life, friendship and love.

Thank you for helping me understand that love comes in many shapes and it's not always romantic. Thank you for answering my prayers, not always with what I asked for, but with what I needed the most. Thank you for gifting me the opportunity to find friendship in new places and enjoy my life to its fullest.

I can't wait to continue on this journey with you in which I can explore myself, the world and others learning to care and show I do, and love deeply without any restrictions.

[env0writes]

A Gust of Wind Vol.3, 8.7.23 “Let Me Practice"

There is an itch about the wee hours Of the night that light the kiln of passion Sending me onward to claypots of yearning To mold my life with the very mud of the Earth Even in the mess of it – those eyes– Stir with creative wonder Even if I was never any good At pottery, Let your shape guide my hands Art requires practice, and I Am prepared for tutelage

@env0writes C.Buck Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist! Photo by @mynamemeanscloud

[medusapelagia]

Learning to Love 4

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5)

Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve /Billy Tags: enemies to lovers, internalized homophobia Words: 1143

Billy hasn’t seen Steve since the day of the test. There isn’t any need for them to study together anymore, and the pretty boy had left the basketball team months before, so the only way Billy had to see him is looking for him in the parking lot. But he is not always so lucky. More times than not he has to pick up his stupid step-sister and bring her safely home, losing the only occasion he has of seeing Steve.

He doesn’t miss the time they spent together. And he absolutely does not miss getting cozy on Steve’s couch and drinking beer while watching a movie. And he is definitely not still thinking about that night when Steve fell asleep and his head slid onto his shoulder and he felt his warm breath on his neck.

It's not that.

It's just that he is worried about him. 

"Are you still moping?" Max asks, opening the car's door.

"The fuck do you want?"

"I'm tired of seeing you moping around, ok? You are still an asshole but when you were hanging out with Steve you were a little bit less of an asshole."

Billy glares at her. "What are you saying?" He replies in an icy cold tone.

"Nothing. Just that it was nice when you were friends with Steve. So, tell me, how bad did you fuck up?"

Billy pushes on the gas pedal, "I didn't fuck up."

"So why is he avoiding you?" Max insists.

"He is not. We don't have any more classes in common and he passed his test so now we have no reason to meet."

Max remains silent for a long moment, then she whispers "If there was an opportunity to meet him, would you be an asshole as usual?"

Billy lifts an eyebrow "What are you talking about?"

"The party wants to go to the arcade on Saturday and Steve is Dustin's friend, they searched for Dustin's cat together or something like that. Anyway, Steve is going to drive Dustin and you could drive me and Lucas."

"Lucas?" Billy growls, "Are you still hanging out with him?"

She sticks her tongue out "He is my boyfriend! Get over it!"

"You are too fucking young to have a boyfriend! You are thirteen for Christ's sake!"

"Come on! Everyone at school has a boyfriend! Why do you hate Lucas, huh?"

Billy doesn't reply, his eyes fixed on the road.

It's not true that he hates Lucas. Well, he doesn't like him very much, to be honest, he is sniffing around his sister after all and Billy is fiercely protective of his pack, but that's not the true reason behind his attitude. The true reason is that Billy knows that if Neil would even suspect that the girl is having a relationship with a boy he will lock her in the fucking basement.

That's what he did to Billy the first time that he saw him holding hands with Thomas; he beat him with the strap and locked him in the basement for two days, giving him just water and bread. He is pretty sure that Neil will not beat her, not if he wants to keep his shiny new wife, but he is pretty sure that he will not let her go to the skate park or arcade anymore. So, no, Billy doesn't like Lucas.

“Think about it. Driving Lucas and I and finally talking to Steve, or ruining my weekend and staying in your room all day.” She says while she gets out of the car, leaving Billy staring at the front door of their house on Cherry Lane.

***

Saturday afternoons Neil and Susan go to Indianapolis to spend the day, leaving Billy in charge of Max, which is something that annoys both of them, but this time Max is determined to convince Billy to drive her to the arcade

“Come on! If you don’t drive me I’ll go on my skateboard!”

“You will not do such a thing!” Billy snarls, grabbing her arm harshly.

“I deserve to have some fun, Billy! The only reason I asked you to drive me is because I think that Steve’s friendship is good for you and I wanted to help you make peace, but if you are going to be an asshole as usual I’ll skate to Lucas and then I’ll ask his parents to drive us to the arcade!”

Billy glares at the girl, he wants to talk with Steve more than anything but he doesn’t like to be used like that.

“Fuck you, Maxine. You don’t know shit! So stop acting like you have all the answers in your fucking pocket.”

“Oh, I don’t know shit? I know why we moved here, Billy!” She retorts, covering her mouth as soon as those words come out.

“You… what?” He growls, grabbing her and pushing her against the wall.

“I didn’t tell anyone!” She assures him.

“Because there is nothing to say!” He screams, freeing her from his grip. Billy goes back to his room, slamming the door so hard that the poster above his bed wobbles.

Nobody can know what happened in California. Nobody. Not even Maxine.

A soft knock on the door breaks the seething silence in Billy’s mind.

“Fuck off!”

“I’m sorry. Billy, I’m sorry, for real. I didn’t mean… please. Come with me to the arcade. I saw the two of you together…” She whispers behind the door “You looked… you looked nice together.”

“I don’t know what the fuck you mean and I’m not going to drive you anywhere. You are grounded!” He replies, lightening a cigarette between his lips.

Max stays outside his room for a few moments before walking away and Billy finally relaxes. Did he start to feel something for the pretty boy he tutored? Maybe. But there is no way he is going to admit that, not even to himself.

He is lifting some weights, his body covered in sweat, when he hears the roar of a car that stops exactly in front of his house. Surprised, he looks out of the window and sees a familiar Beemer and immediately screams “MAXINE!” but the girl is already running toward the car with her backpack on her shoulder and Steve is holding the car’s door open for her when Billy gets on the porch.

“Maxine, come immediately back, you know that you are grounded.”

She sticks her tongue out “My mom is not here and she didn’t tell me I was grounded, she just told me that I should stay with you, not where. So get your shit together and come with us because I’m not getting back inside.” She replies bravely and if Billy’s look could kill she would be dead by now, but no, she is still there, smiling triumphantly at him.

Steve lifts an eyebrow “You coming or what?” 

[maybe-in-another-universe]

i like learning things to love about myself

i love my laugh, and i love that it’s loud and unapologetic. i love that when something startles me into laughing i throw my head back and clutch my stomach and heave for air afterwards.

i love soothing others. i love knowing that i can help calm someone down. i love that i bring drinks to my crying friends and that i turn down the radio in my car when my friends get overwhelmed.

man i just love learning to love the parts of me i never paid attention to

[skylarmoon71]

Eobard Thawne- (Flash) AU Chapter 7

The weeks following you seem to fall into a rhythm. Your first mission back is pretty successful. Your most recent meta had some very dangerous fire powers that remind you of Mick. This guy is just as mentally unstable. At least your version of Mick changed his lifestyle.This guy was just running around the city blowing stuff up.

"Of all the times Frost decided to take a two month vacation." Barry complains.

Caitlin smiles. "You know she's been planning it for ages. We can handle this. "

"She's right. We got this. Caitlin, I need you and Barry to head to central city high school. I've been looking into it, he's attacking all the places and people he feels have wrong him. (Y/N) and I will take the hospital. "

Caitlin nods, and she opens a breech. Both her and Barry are gone. You skate into the room decked down in a fuchsia suit. Eobard's brows lift as he admires the adjustments made to your suit. But the typical bolt of lightning is still at the center.

"Hey boss, we're here but he isn't'. Any luck at the hospital?" Barry asks over the coms.

Eobard doesn't respond immediately, he's still taking you in.

"Boss?" Barry calls.

Eobard blinks.

"Uh yes we're on our way over. Are you ready?"

You nod, following his lead as you both take off, running through the city. You're right at his side the entire time. It's still very strange seeing Eobard Thawne run a team, decked down in the red suit no less. Your eyes follow the determination in his eyes for a brief second. Maybe it's because you're going so fast that everything feels like it's slowing down just enough for you to take it in.

When you both get to the hospital, you notice the smoke coming from the east wing. When the both of you get to the spot where the flames are rising, you lift your arms, creating circles to put out the fire. It takes a few seconds before there is nothing but the residual smoke. Eobard's eyes try to track the meta.

"Just in time Flash."

The man steps out from the smoke, arms flaming. He grins.

"This is your last chance Kevin. Don't make this any worse than it has to be. These people are innocent. " He just laughs.

"The whole system is corrupt. When that damn accelerator went off I lost everything. My job, my house. This damn hospital took what was left trying to help me and they still couldn't fix me. They deserve everything they got."

His reasoning is understandable.

"Enough talk."

He lifts his hand, throwing a line of fire that seems to expand in your direction. Both of you phase, right before the flames even make contact. In seconds Kevin is cuffed. He looks down at his hands stunned.

"W-WHAT!!"

"We're speedsters, did you really think we were going to run around for ten minutes." You ask with a blank look. You know Eobard hoped he could talk Kevin out of attacking.

"You have the right to remain silent." Eobard says. Kevin just looks down in aggravation and defeat.

When you get back to Star Labs, Barry and Caitlin are lounging in the chairs munching on chips.

"Really? We're out facing fire wielding criminals and you guys are snacking." Eobard asks.

"This guy was a small fry. We were just backup in case things got hairy. But you had it handled."

Barry inputs, popping another chip in his mouth. He reaches for another from Caitlin's bag, and she smacks his hand away. He sits up, trying to grab it and they get into a little hand smacking battle to get the bag of barbeque chips.

"Would you stop!!" She yells as he tries to pry it away. Eobard just walks away. Obviously used to the bickering. You follow him down the hall as he removes his cowl.

"Good job today." You comment.

"You too. For your first mission back that went pretty well. I really did hope that we could have changed his mind. If there was a chance that he was remorseful we could have fought for a lesser sentence."

Although you'd stopped the big bad, Eobard still looks a bit guilty. He takes a seat in the speed lab, laying his head against the wall. You slide down next to him.

"Someone really wise told me once that you can only save people who want to be saved. You gave him a chance and he made his decision. At the end of the day, that's all you can do. " You reach over, placing a hand on his shoulder.

If someone told you this would be your life, you would have laughed in their face. Yet, it's become a little easier. Looking at him, studying the way he reacts to situations. The choices he makes for the team rather than himself. A part of you wonders if this is what Eobard would have been like had he not been consumed by hate.

"You're thinking about him again." You don't need him to clarify who he means. You already know. Pulling back your hand, you look at your lap.

"It's still a little weird for me. I'm sorry."

Whenever he does something, you can't help but compare it in your mind. It's then that you realize how insensitive that is. You remembered how hostile Harry had been when he first came because everyone kept telling him of the wrongs Eobard did with his face.

"I don't expect you to just be on board with all of this at once. I understand. I just wish that I didn't unsettle you so much." He lets out a little laugh. You can tell it's more to ease his mind because you know how he feels. Having someone that you care for be constantly guarded around you could not be easy. But he was taking it in stride the best he could. You turn your body towards him.

"It's true that at the start I was really unsettled by all this. But I'm not so much anymore."

His eyes meet yours, and he's not sure what to say. He's grateful that you're not running in the other direction when you look at him. His expression evens out to one that mirrors the softness you now display. You place your hand on the floor, you begin to lean closer.

His hands ball into his fists at his sides, and he inches closer, following your lead. Your eyes drift to his lips for a split second before they return to his beautiful emerald gaze. Eobard swallows. He's very encouraged that you are the one making the first move this time. You're probably just a breath away. He can almost taste your lips.

"Whatcha you lovebirds doing?" Barry's impromptu appearance makes Eobard pull back so quickly.

"N-Nothing!" He defends.

"I-I need to go check t-the y-yeah. I need to check it!" Eobard zips out the room in record time, and you blink at the way the wind tosses your hair.

"Sorry, I had to get payback." Barry grins You turn to him with a glare.

"You're a real menace in this reality."

He just smiles, fanning his face.

"Stop, I'm blushing."

You can't help but smile. Standing you walk over.

"I've been meaning to ask, but how did you get your powers? I've never seen a suit like yours before and that ring is also new."

He tilts his head. "They don't have lanterns in your universe?"

"Lanterns?"

"Yeah. I'm a blue lantern. The ring is where my power comes from. There's like a bunch of us in all the colors of the rainbow. Kind of weird now that I think about it." He goes on a little rant, and you just stare.

"What do the colors represent?"

His expression changes to a softer look.

"It represents hope."

That is actually pretty incredible.

"So you know I would think the green was for farts. That would be hilarious." His goofiness returns, and you smile.

Getting used to this world might not be so hard after all.

[ash5monster01]

I hope you never stop writing learning to love. I am obsessed and I have read it over 5 times since I found it. You write the emotions, the tension, the pureness so well!

AGH! this is so sweet! I’m so happy you love it so much and I promise the story is not over! I’m just letting the Holidays pass and taking my time with the next few chapters since we are slowly moving towards the end! thank you so much for the support ❤️

[tefeckincraicen]

I really should get into the habit of sketching on paper and on my tablet just so I can have more options