#Learning from experience

[furiousgoldfish]

When you grow up having the worst possible things happening to you around every corner, you can't just keep living your life without expecting the worst.

This isn't even paranoia, it's learning by experience. You can't just start expecting nice and safe and kind things to be put in your way, if they never were, it would not be backed up by any real-life experience you had. It would feel like you're dreaming if you suddenly expect your life to change completely and contain different events from anything you've experienced before. We don't work like that. We learn from experience. We can only predict what's ahead by looking at what's behind us, our collective experience on earth is the only pointer we have to what else we can expect to happen.

If you often told that your expectations are twisted, or that you're just looking for the worst in people, or assuming everyone has bad intentions, that's not something you should be blamed for. After suffering abuse and mistreatment, you have to be on the lookout for these things to prevent the worst and to save your life. You cannot afford to get trapped in abuse again, you have to look at every person and ask yourself, what is the worst they're capable of. What would they do if they had the complete power over me. And you have to work with that, make sure it doesn't get to it, as much as it's in your power to do so.

Abuse victims have to go above and beyond to keep themselves safe, because we get targeted. It's not something we want to do, or something we do to make our own lives difficult. We don't enjoy it. We want to be safe. We want to let our guard down. We want to relax and believe we're surrounded by people who wouldn't harm us. But, if we're wrong, the consequences can be disastrous. And getting abused by someone we trusted was safe for us, that is not something we can survive endless times in life.

[balkanradfem]

Alright so, and I promise this is funny, I have been dealing with severe deficiency in 'making plants grow successfully'. It's going worse than any year but I'm also having a lot of fun with it, because I'm no longer discouraged by baby plants dying, I'm already germinating the next batch and I know I'll be just fine.

This year's weather has been so nice, gardening wise! We didn't have a crazy hot February like the last few years, it's been very frosty in fact, so that the trees didn't flower too soon and I love that for us, that is the promise of fruit, and also making me feel a bit more at ease that the weather, for now, isn't hectic.

The middle of March was nice and sunny, and I felt encouraged to put my baby plants outside, just for an hour or so every day, so they would get used to direct sunlight. I also noticed some of my baby plants turning purple, and I thought, AHA! Nitrogen deficiency, I can fix this by fertilizing them, so I did, a bit too much maybe, because 3 days later half of my tomatoes, and a bunch of other plants sadly died. Some of the plants actually showed signs of getting burned by the sun, but only after the 3rd day they were outside! You're telling me sun was fine for 2 days but then the 3rd day it was just too bright and you had to expire??

Some of the plants that did well initially, also ended up outside when it was, a bit more windy than they could handle. And I wasn't even home, by the time I got home, the plants were already lying horizontally, unable to fight the violent weather.

And this is funny because I take all of these risks every single year and I never had this many of them pan out badly, and never had this amount of seedlings die, but truth be told I do plant too many tomatoes every single year and I should maybe tone it down, 70% of my meals are tomato based at this point (it's so easy to conserve), and I should focus more on some beans and pumpkins.

So anyway, since seedlings are not vibing, I finally gather my senses to go to the actual garden one day, because I'm thinking, there will be cabbage savoy there, and spinach probably grew a bit by now, maybe I can have some fresh spinach! Maybe swiss chard grew and I could eat that, maybe there's a carrot that germinated and would make me happy.

So I bike to the garden and as soon as I get there I realize that everything I was hoping to harvest just went to seed. Two weeks I've been too sick and dealing with medical issues, and I couldn't check on the garden, and 2 days of warm temperatures and everything said bYE and went to make seeds?? The rapid change took me completely by surprise, I didn't think things would go to seed while we still had frosts. I stubbornly picked the cabbage deciding to just eat the little flowerbuds and leaves anyway, the flowers didn't open yet so with a bit more prep time, it's all edible. My spinach went to seed as well, the traitor. It's March!!!

As discouraging as all of this sounds, this is incredible for learning, because now I know that every single thing on this list has a good chance of happening this time of year, and I'll be able to make better choices next time. In fact, if all of this didn't happen now, it would probably happen any year from now on and I wouldn't be ready or expecting it. Next time I'll get all those cabbages before the sun touches them. I'll try growing spinach in the fall when it won't go to seed as easy, and I'll think twice before taking 3-4 risks at once with baby seedlings.

The baby seedlings who survived all this are the victors who are strong and resilient and probably can't be killed by any of my bad choices. Even if I have slightly less plants, I'll have the most powerful plants. The last batch I've planted seems to be growing rapidly, because the weather is light and warm now, and I've planted some flowers I've never had before! I'll have tansy on my garden, for the first time ever.

[howdoesone]

How does one balance the demands of multiple consulting projects?

Consultants often find themselves managing multiple projects simultaneously, each with their own deadlines, deliverables, and client expectations. This can be a challenging task, especially when balancing the demands of multiple clients and ensuring the quality of work. In this article, we will explore strategies for effectively managing multiple consulting projects and maintaining a high level…

[lexstellaris]

In case you’ve ever wondered if those big plastic trays can be used in a 105C oven to dry out soil samples for two days, the answer is no. XD

[ossie50]

"Practice makes perfect"

Or so they say. After many years of coaching various sports teams, kids and adults, I have always held the belief that its “perfect practice that makes perfect.” After all, people can continue to repeat the same mistakes, or never achieve a necessary skill, through repetition. Even reinforce bad habits. The obvious critical element in the process is feedback and modification of performance…

[goodoldbandit]

How Motorcycle Riding Principles Can Fuel Effective Team Building

https://gob.stayingalive.in/revving-up-knowledge-unveil/how-motorcycle-riding-princ.html Discover how motorcycle riding principles can enhance team building through trust, dependability, and camaraderie in your management strategy. The Open Road to Effective Management In the fast-paced world of management, leaders are often looking for innovative strategies to build effective teams.…

[trans-androgyne]

I read too many stories of "women" throughout history who lived as men and wore men's clothing getting beaten and arrested for it, sensationalized in the press as "man-woman," painted as perverts and monsters, put in literal freakshows, and forcibly institutionalized to sit by quietly while non-transmascs loudly and confidently claim that "female masculinity" has never been targeted as much as "male femininity" has. Read some trans and queer history that isn't only about gay men and trans women before you open your mouths about butches and transmascs, or better yet just listen to us about our history and experiences in the first place.

[sunny7meadow]

Older and Wiser

[mxmarsbars]

impulseSV has reached the goal [Postmortal]

[queenoftreasures]

How One Assignment Reignited My Creative Flame

“The easy road is always crowded. The path less travelled is where you’ll find your true self.” Bard In all my life plans, a career was not even listed. Life’s only purpose was to study and get married. Yes, it does sound archaic, but that’s the way it was. For anything to come to its logical conclusion, your beliefs and life’s path have to be aligned. Mine weren’t. Reading and Writing Improve…

[thehmn]

When you have a significantly younger friend:

“Why is she still doing that? If she keeps it up I’ll have to tell her to stop! Doesn’t she know- No wait, she doesn’t. She hasn’t been through that yet”

A year later

“There it is. I didn’t see it happen but she stopped”

[eggsdrawings]

recipe for disaster 💥

read from left to right!

[fisherrprince]

run, little prince!

[howdoesone]

How does one establish credibility as a consultant?

In the world of consulting, credibility is key. Without it, clients may not trust your expertise or your ability to deliver quality work. Establishing credibility is therefore an essential part of being a successful consultant. But how does one go about building credibility in this field? In this article, we’ll explore some tips and strategies for establishing credibility as a…

[ossie50]

Don't mistake knowledge for wisdom!

I’m guessing you have been in a conversation with someone, or in a meeting, and there will be a point where someone will pull out their smartphone and duck-duck-go a particular topic (sorry, google). This is because we live in a world where information is just a few clicks away which makes it easy to confuse knowledge with wisdom.  Knowledge and wisdom are not the same, and understanding that…

[uncanny-tranny]

I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!