#Learn English Grammar full lessons

[what-even-is-thiss]

Free or Cheap Mandarin Chinese Learning Resources Because You Can't Let John Cena One Up You Again

I will update this list as I learn of any more useful ones. If you want general language learning resources check out this other post. This list is Mandarin specific. Find lists for other specific languages here.

For the purposes of this list "free" means something that is either totally free or has a useful free tier. "Cheap" is a subscription under $10USD a month, a software license or lifetime membership purchase under $100USD, or a book under $30USD. If you want to suggest a resource for this list please suggest ones in that price range that are of decent quality and not AI generated.

WEBSITES

Dong Chinese - A website with lessons, a pinyin guide, a dictionary, and various videos and practice tests. With a free account you're only allowed to do one lesson every 12 hours. To do as many lessons as quickly as you want it costs $10 a month or $80 a year.

Domino Chinese - A paid website with video based lessons from absolute beginner to college level. They claim they can get you ready to get a job in China. They offer a free trial and after that it's $5 a month or pay what you can if you want to support their company.

Chinese Education Center - This is an organization that gives information to students interested in studying abroad in China. They have free text based lessons for beginners on vocab, grammar, and handwriting.

Pleco Dictionary App - This is a very popular dictionary app on both iOS and Android. It has a basic dictionary available for free but other features can be purchased individually or in bundles. A full bundle that has what most people would want is about $30 but there are more expensive options with more features.

MIT OpenCourseWare Chinese 1 2 3 4 5 6 - These are actual archived online courses from MIT available for free. You will likely need to download them onto your computer.

Learn Chinese Web Application From Cambridge University - This is a free downloadable file with Mandarin lessons in a PC application. There's a different program for beginner and intermediate.

Learn Chinese Everyday - A free word a day website. Every day the website posts a different word with pronunciation, stroke order, and example sentences. There's also an archive of free downloadable worksheets related to previous words featured on the website.

Chinese Boost - A free website and blog with beginner lessons and articles about tips and various resources to try.

Chinese Forums - An old fashioned forum website for people learning Chinese to share resources and ask questions. It's still active as of when I'm making this list.

Du Chinese - A free website and an app with lessons and reading and listening practice with dual transcripts in both Chinese characters and pinyin. They also have an English language blog with tips, lessons, and information on Chinese culture.

YOUTUBE CHANNELS

Chinese For Us - A channel that provides free video lessons for beginners. The channel is mostly in English.

Herbin Mandarin - A channel with a variety of lessons for beginners. The channel hasn't uploaded in a while but there's a fairly large archive of lessons to watch. The channel is mainly in English.

Mandarin Blueprint - This channel is by a couple of guys who also run a paid website. However on their YouTube channel there's a lot of free videos with tips about how to go about learning Chinese, pronunciation and writing tips, and things of that nature. The channel is mainly in English.

Blabla Chinese - A comprehensible input channel with content about a variety of topics for beginner to intermediate. The video descriptions are in English but the videos themselves are all in Mandarin.

Lazy Chinese - A channel aimed at intermediate learners with videos on general topics, grammar, and culture. They also have a podcast. The channel has English descriptions but the videos are all in Mandarin.

Easy Mandarin - A channel associated with the easy languages network that interviews people on the street in Taiwan about everyday topics. The channel has on screen subtitles in traditional characters, pinyin, and English.

StickynoteChinese - A relatively new channel but it already has a decent amount of videos. Jun makes videos about culture and personal vlogs in Mandarin. The channel is aimed at learners from beginner to upper intermediate.

Story Learning Chinese With Annie - A comprehensible input channel almost entirely in Mandarin. The host teaches through stories and also makes videos about useful vocabulary words and cultural topics. It appears to be aimed at beginner to intermediate learners.

LinguaFlow Chinese - Another relatively new channel but they seem to be making new videos regularly. The channel is aimed at beginner to intermediate learners and teaches and provides listening practice with video games. The channel is mostly in Mandarin.

Lala Chinese - A channel with tips on grammar and pronunciation with the occasional vlog for listening practice, aimed at upper beginner to upper intermediate learners. Some videos are all in Mandarin while others use a mix of English and Mandarin. Most videos have dual language subtitles onscreen.

Grace Mandarin Chinese - A channel with general information on the nitty gritty of grammar, pronunciation, common mistakes, slang, and useful phrases for different levels of learners. Most videos are in English but some videos are fully in Mandarin.

READING PRACTICE

HSK Reading - A free website with articles sorted into beginner, intermediate, and advanced. Every article has comprehension questions. You can also mouse over individual characters and see the pinyin and possible translations. The website is in a mix of English and Mandarin.

chinesegradedreader.com - A free website with free short readings up to HSK level 3 or upper intermediate. Each article has an explaination at the beginning of key vocabulary words in English and you can mouse over individual characters to get translations.

Mandarin Companion - This company sells books that are translated and simplified versions of classic novels as well as a few originals for absolute beginners. They are available in both traditional and simplified Chinese. Their levels don't appear to be aligned with any HSK curriculum but even their most advanced books don't have more than 500 individual characters according to them so they're likely mostly for beginners to advanced beginners. New paperbacks seem to usually be $14 but cheaper used copies, digital copies, and audiobooks are also available. The website is in English.

Graded Chinese Readers - Not to be confused with chinese graded reader, this is a website with information on different graded readers by different authors and different companies. The website tells you what the book is about, what level it's for, whether or not it uses traditional or simplified characters, and gives you a link to where you can buy it on amazon. They seem to have links to books all the way from HSK 1 or beginner to HSK 6 or college level. A lot of the books seem to be under $10 but as they're all from different companies your mileage and availability may vary. The website is in English.

Mandarin Bean - A website with free articles about Chinese culture and different short stories. Articles are sorted by HSK level from 1 to 6. The website also lets you switch between traditional or simplified characters and turn the pinyin on or off. It also lets you mouse over characters to get a translation. They have a relatively expensive paid tier that gives you access to video lessons and HSK practice tests and lesson notes but all articles and basic features on the site are available on the free tier without an account. The website is in a mix of Mandarin and English.

Mandarin Daily News - This is a daily newspaper from Taiwan made for children so the articles are simpler, have illustrations and pictures, and use easier characters. As it's for native speaker kids in Taiwan, the site is completely in traditional Chinese.

New Tong Wen Tang for Chrome or Firefox - This is a free browser extension that can convert traditional characters to simplified characters or vice versa without a need to copy and paste things into a separate website.

PODCASTS

Melnyks Chinese - A podcast for more traditional audio Mandarin Chinese lessons for English speakers. The link I gave is to their website but they're also available on most podcatcher apps.

Chinese Track - Another podcast aimed at learning Mandarin but this one goes a bit higher into lower intermediate levels.

Dimsum Mandarin - An older podcast archive of 30 episodes of dialogues aimed at beginner to upper beginner learners.

Dashu Mandarin - A podcast run by three Chinese teachers aimed at intermediate learners that discusses culture topics and gives tips for Mandarin learners. There are also male teachers on the podcast which I'm told is relatively rare for Mandarin material aimed at learners and could help if you're struggling to understand more masculine speaking patterns.

Learning Chinese Through Stories - A storytelling podcast mostly aimed at intermediate learners but they do have some episodes aimed at beginner or advanced learners. They have various paid tiers for extra episodes and learning material on their patreon but there's still a large amount of episodes available for free.

Haike Mandarin - A conversational podcast in Taiwanese Mandarin for intermediate learners. Every episode discusses a different everyday topic. The episode descriptions and titles are entirely in traditional Chinese characters. The hosts provide free transcripts and other materials related to the episodes on their blog.

Learn Chinese With Ju - A vocabulary building podcast aimed at intermediate learners. The podcast episodes are short at around 4-6 minutes and the host speaks about a variety of topics in a mix of English and Mandarin.

xiaoyuzhou fm - An iOS app for native speakers to listen to podcasts. I’m told it has a number of interactive features. If you have an android device you’ll likely have to do some finagling with third party apps to get this one working. As this app is for native speakers, the app is entirely in simplified Chinese.

Apple Podcast directories for Taiwan and China - Podcast pages directed towards users in those countries/regions.

SELF STUDY TEXTBOOKS AND DICTIONARIES

Learning Chinese Characters - This series is sorted by HSK levels and each volume in the series is around $11. Used and digital copies can also be found for cheaper.

HSK Standard Course Textbooks - These are textbooks designed around official Chinese government affiliated HSK tests including all of the simplified characters, grammar, vocab, and cultural knowledge necessary to pass each test. There are six books in total and the books prices range wildly depending on the level and the seller, going for as cheap as $14 to as expensive as $60 though as these are pretty common textbooks, used copies and cheaper online shops can be found with a little digging. The one I have linked to here is the HSK 1 textbook. Some textbook sellers will also bundle them with a workbook, some will not.

Chinese Made Easy for Kids - Although this series is aimed at children, I'm told that it's also very useful for adult beginners. There's a large number of textbooks and workbooks at various levels. The site I linked to is aimed at people placing orders in Hong Kong but the individual pages also have links to various other websites you can buy them from in other countries. The books range from $20-$35 but I include them because some of them are cheaper and they seem really easy to find used copies of.

Reading and Writing Chinese - This book contains guides on all 2300 characters in the HSK texts as of 2013. Although it is slightly outdated, it's still useful for self study and is usually less than $20 new. Used copies are also easy to find.

Basic Chinese by Mcgraw Hill - This book also fuctions as a workbook so good quality used copies can be difficult to find. The book is usually $20 but it also often goes on sale on Amazon and they also sell a cheaper digital copy.

Chinese Grammar: A beginner's guide to basic structures - This book goes over beginner level grammar concepts and can usually be found for less than $20 in print or as low as $2 for a digital copy.

Collins Mandarin Chinese Visual Dictionary - A bilingual English/Mandarin visual dictionary that comes with a link to online audio files. A new copy goes for about $14 but used and digital versions are available.

Merriam-Webster's Chinese to English Dictionary - In general Merriam Websters usually has the cheapest decent quality multilingual dictionaries out there, including for Mandarin Chinese. New editions usually go for around $8 each while older editions are usually even cheaper.

(at the end of the list here I will say I had a difficult time finding tv series specifically made for learners of Mandarin Chinese so if you know of any that are made for teenage or adult learners or are kids shows that would be interesting to adults and are free to watch without a subscription please let me know and I will add them to the list. There's a lot of Mandarin language TV that's easy to find but what I'm specifically interested in for these lists are free to watch series made for learners and/or easy to understand kids shows originally made in the target language that are free and easy to access worldwide)

[kragehund-est]

every single language learning app on the market rn is like

LangBabble: Connect with Language!

Thousands of Lessons, Sign Up for Free Today! (6 free lessons and then it's $12 a month to access like 50 addtl. lessons)

Proven Professional Academic Study Lessons! (duolingo copy paste pattern recognition games that give you 0 understanding or ability to produce language.)

Advanced AI-Powered Learning! (fired all their native speaker developers for a glorified google translate. probably has a chat bot and an algorithm that tracks your mistakes. )

Memorable Learning Materials! (vocab flash cards and writing system games... but no grammar, pronunciation, or deeper explanations.)

User-Friendly, Stylish Interface! (highest saturation corporate blob artstyle, duolingo rip-off)

Start Speaking Immediately! (repeat common greetings and the same 24 useless phrases that were jammed down your throat dozens of times)

50+ Languages Supported! (has full courses for German, English, French, Spanish, Mandarin, Japanese, and Klingon. a couple dozen half-dev'd euro languages and conlangs, and permanent "coming soon! under construction!" for endangered minority languages.)

[vanteguccir]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIN CONTROL * CHRIS STURNIOLO

SUMMARY　::　where Chris commands Y/N to stay still while he fucks her, but she can't seem to obey.

FEATURING　Chris Sturniolo x reader　REQUESTED?　yes.

WARNINGS　::　SMUT (mdni), dom!Chris, p in v without protection, slight dumbfication/degradation.

AUTHOR'S NOTE　::　that is my work, I DON'T authorize any form of plagiarism; copy, "inspiration" or translation! | english isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

Chris's large hands worked on gripping Y/N's hips, roughly turning the position of her body - which had previously been on her stomach - so that she was facing the ceiling.

Automatically, the girl planted the soles of her feet on the mattress, a surprised squeal escaping her lips when she felt Chris's rough gestures against her body.

The boy quickly pressed the inside of her knees, spreading her legs roughly so that her glistering cunt was exposed, his mouth watering at the sight.

"Y' gonna be good f' me and be still while I fuck you, babe?" Chris's voice was hoarse. He knelt on the mattress, placing himself between her thighs, his hands snaking from her knees to her calves, pushing her legs up.

"Yeah, so good." Y/N whined, clutching the crumpled sheet between her fingers tightly. Her teeth gripped her bottom lip in a death grip, trying to contain her moans in anticipation of something that hadn't even happened yet.

A dirty smirk spread across Chris's face, his right hand firmly gripping his cock and pumping it a few times, spreading the remains of Y/N's wetness that were still on it, a shiver spreading through his body with the feeling.

Chris leans his upper body over his girl's, supporting all his weight on his left arm. His blue deathly eyes looked deeply into Y/N's beneath him, keeping his pupils focused on her expressions as he aligned his dick in her pussy, slowly penetrating the hole that was already suitable for his size, eliciting a loud and surprised moan from Y/N, who let her bottom lip slip out of its prison, her jaw dropping and mouth forming a perfect O.

Chris's tongue escapes his own lips, wetting them. His right hand traveled upward, caging her head between his hands, holding himself up as his biceps flexed and extended, droplets of sweat beginning to appear on his skin.

The boy maintained a slow and rhythmic rhythm with his hips, it was slow, sensual and full of desire; the tip of his cock teasing Y/N's deepest, most sensitive spot, eliciting slurred moans from her lips, her body squirming as a result, practically begging itself for more, faster, and deeper.

"I told you to stay still. Can’t follow simple directions, babe? Too drunk with my cock to understand anything?"

"M' sorry." Y/N moaned, her eyes rolling back as her legs quiveved in the air when Chris' head pressed for long seconds on her G-spot.

Chris looks down between their bodies, his pupils dilating while watching his cock disappear into his girl's hungry pussy, her hips and waist moving against the mattress as little "pleases" escape her lips, not obeying his previous order.

"You..." The boy began, his teeth gritted as he lifted his head, returning his eyes to hers. "Have a little problem with control, huh?"

"Chris, p-please." Her voice sounded as desperate as ever before, eyes filling with tears as little whimpers escaped her lips.

"M' gonna have to teach y' a lesson. So pathetic f' my cock." Chris rasped, feeling her walls squeeze around him in an addictive way. "Gonna have to learn how to be a good girl, huh?"

And when Y/N least expected it, Chris released his whole weight onto her body.

He palms her thighs, hiking them around his waist, while his chest presses against hers firmly, preventing her from moving even an inch. Her boobs were practically being crushed by him as her nipples were stimulated against his skin with each thrust.

His hands flew to above her head, touching the wood of the headboard, and laying his own head on her right shoulder as he continued fucking her at a pace that made Y/N see stars.

The room around the two seemed to melt away, a large fog surrounding the bed as their gasps and moans echoed through the four walls.

The position made Chris go as deep as he had ever gone before; Y/N felt as if her walls could feel every vein of his cock scrape through them mercilessly, his swollen head expanding the way with each thrust, pressing against her magic spot again and again. His pelvis put almost imperceptible but extremely delicious pressure on her clit with each thrust, massaging it.

"Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck." Y/N rolled her eyes so hard that she swore they could pop out of their sockets, closing it tightly. Her nostrils were flared while her red, swollen lips were open, sinful sounds escaping through them.

"Keep your eyes open. Look at me, baby." Chris muttered against her slippery skin. She whimpered loudly, opening her eyes with difficulty, focusing them on Chris. "Want to see your pretty face, hm?"

The boy was as messy as she was, his tangled hair stuck to the sweaty skin of his forehead. His pupils were so dilated that it was almost impossible to see the blue ocean behind them. His lips were a beautiful shade of pink, so kissable.

"Such a good girl f’ me." He kisses her cheeks messily, their faces moving against each other with his movements. "All still beneath me, 'had to put all my weight on you, huh? To make your pretty little body stop squirming s' much, all because of your obsession with m' dick."

"Oh God- Fuck, Chris, p-ple- Oh." Y/N moaned incoherently, her eyes only half-opened due to the force she was using not to close them, still fixed on his face.

She felt all the dirtiest sensations coming from her pussy, internal shivers rising from her G-spot to her stomach, ripping goosebumps from her body.

"What, babe? Y' gonna cum, is that it?" Chris scoffed, his own eyes rolling back momentarily as Y/N's walls squeezed him for seconds longer than before, a gasp escaping his lips. "Oh- Can feel you squeezing around me. S' tight, babe." His warm tongue escaped his lips, licking the corner of Y/N's mouth, tasting her saliva mixed with her sweat.

"P-please Chris, I n-need it s' bad."

Chris ran his left hand down between their bodies, pressing the tip of his middle and ring fingers over her clit just the right amount.

"Make a pretty mess on m' cock, angel." The brunette commanded, trapping Y/N's lower lip between his teeth, sucking on the swollen flesh as his ears were filled with the dirtiest sounds that escaped her throat as she came.

Y/N's walls held his dick in place for long seconds, her body spasming hard beneath his own, only her legs shaking visibly as her upper body was still pressed between the mattress and his chest.

"Feel s' good, sweetheart." Chris groaned, letting go of her bottom lip but keeping his lips against hers, his mouth falling open as his eyes rolled back.

His hand that was still above her head gripped the edge of the mattress in a death grip, his knuckles turning white almost instantly as they banged against the wood of the headboard from his fast movements. His arm shook slightly as his legs spasmed over hers.

Hot, milky jets escaped from his pink head, hitting the bottom of her pussy, making a delicious mess with her own cum.

"Fuck, I'm obsessed with this feeling." The boy gasped as he finally felt the sensations of his orgasm start to subside.

His blue eyes met Y/N's face, taking note of her own closed eyes as her teeth held her bottom lip weakly - the thin skin of it almost bruised from Chris' previous grip.

He knew she was still savoring the sensations of her own orgasm. The boy used his hands to lift his upper body off hers, relieving the pressure of his weight and receiving a small sigh in response.

Chris brought his face closer to her right shoulder, sealing his lips in wet, open-mouthed kisses over her warm skin, traveling from one shoulder to the other and up her neck slowly, until he reached her mouth, where he loosened her grip on her lip with his own, bringing her into a slow, loving kiss full of tongue and saliva.

The boy pulled away a few seconds later, feeling the tightness of her walls lessen around his cock, which was slowly becoming flaccid. He lifted his upper body, pulling out of her slowly, his eyes fixed on where they were connected.

Y/N moaned in surprise as she felt Chris insert his thumb inside her sensitive hole, pushing his cum back inside and keeping it there, deep. A satisfied grin grew on his face as he saw her walls contract around nothing when he pulled his finger out, his cum remaining trapped inside her.

Chris caressed her ankle lightly, kissing the side of her knee slowly.

"We can't waste anything, petal."

© vanteguccir

[official-wales]

My parents having been doing Welsh on Duolingo so they’ll understand me better. I really appreciate it and it’s awesome, but…

The ‘ti’/‘chi’ issue. I don’t know how many times I’ve explained the diffference but they can’t seem to grasp that ‘chi’ is plural and/or formal. I didn’t realise it would be so devastating to hear a loving parent end a phone call with ‘Caru chi’ and feeling like they’ve just referred to you as a stranger.

They’ve heard me say ‘Caru ti’ enough that they’ve adjusted it and know that i have an issue when they use ‘chi’. But they seem to think its northern or a mistake on the Duolingo course despite the fact I’ve told them otherwise (so they still get confused or call out my ‘bad’ grammar or ‘hyprocrisy’ when I say ‘Caru chi’ to refer to both of them, despite all my explanations)

It’s the ‘sut dych chi’s driving me mad now. I am not plural. I’m so single that I turned out aro/ace.

Maybe I should pretend we’re northern and introduce them to ‘chdi’… or would that make it worse?

Anyway there’s no question here I just wanted to rant about Duolingo’s Welsh course. Not that’s it’s fully awful, it’s lead to some… interesting Welsh language fanfiction on ao3

(Also congratulations to my mam. She’s English and well past the ideal age for learning a new language but she can almost hold conversations with me from Duolingo alone, and whenever she hears a phrase she thinks she could say in Welsh on TV she’ll repeat it to me and go ‘is that right?’)

This post is for your parents, in which I give full permission as Official-Wales for you to show them:

You've heard of the French tu and vous....

You've heard of the Italian tu and lei....

You've heard of all the Spanish ones that I do not understand yet, I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish....

Now get ready for the Welsh you......

Ti is singular and informal.

I'm talking to my good friend Dafydd. He is just one man. He is okay with this. I say "Sut wyt ti, Dafydd?" He does not respond, because I just made him up.

Chi is p l u r a l and formal.

I'm talking to my bosses. There are many of them, and I want to show them respect so that I can continue earning minimum wage. I say "Sut ydych chi, pawb?" They do not respond, because they do not care about employee welfare. When I return home, I ask my many cats "Sut ydych chi, pawb?" They do not respond, because they are cats and cannot speak Welsh.

This has been your Welsh pronoun lesson for today.

[cisthoughtcrime]

I’m interested in learning Latin, where would you suggest I start?

So exciting! I'll try to keep this short:

I recommend starting with this very short informal intro, especially if you don't have a strong grasp on technical terms about grammar (most textbooks take that for granted). Latin grammar follows a rigid organisational system and the earlier you understand how it works, the easier it will be to learn the rest of the language. The 18-page PDF in the link uses English examples and practice questions to go through basic Latin grammar concepts and tables. It doesn't go through less basic things like participles or conditional clauses, but it does explain everything you need to know in order to learn those more easily. It also includes a hyperlinked list of good online resources for self-taught Latin and Greek students.

If you want to work through a textbook, Wheelock's Latin is probably the most widely used and comes with a lot of accompanying resources and guides (even though the official website looks older than Rome). Ecce Romani may be a bit more approachable and there are plenty of unofficial online lessons and guides made to go along with it. Those are my top two personally; I know some people like Latin Via Ovid because the practice texts are adapted from an actual ancient text about different myths, but imho I don't think it's as good a starting point if you're teaching yourself from scratch. Keep in mind that they'll all follow different formats for conjugation/declension tables, which can make it a bit confusing to switch between them; the short intro in that first link is a good way to understand how these charts work well enough to use them no matter the format.

There are tons of free resources online, even including full recordings of lessons, live study groups to join, communities with forum posting, and written-out explanations. For any individual concept that's troubling you, there are almost definitely multiple youtube videos of someone in front of a whiteboard saying it differently from the textbooks. Again, there's a good list included in that first document.

For practice in reading and understanding without deliberately translating, it's fun to try reading Latin translations of books you already know well in English, like Harrius Potter, Hobbitus Ille, Winnie Ille Pu, Alicia In Terra Mirabili, and many, many more, most of which are free on Archive and/or can be bought as physical copies.

However, this will be much more rewarding once you've built up some vocabulary and grammar, and might be frustrating or discouraging if you try the long ones too early, especially since they sometimes use words irregularly to convey modern meanings.

There are also a handful of recently-written stories in Latin targeted at students who like this kind of practice more. The German Netflix series Barbarians has all the Roman characters speaking in real Latin, and listening to it with subtitles can help build your ear for what sounds right.

Those are my recs for where to start! If you're stuck on something and can't find a good explanation, you can also send me an ask about it and I'm always happy to lay out how I think about it (even if my response times are irregular).

Good luck and enjoy!

[indigostudies]

28.06.2025 // summer break!!

accomplished a surprising amount today! now that it's summer and i don't have classes, i wanted to keep up with reading and writing for chinese, so i finally got back to using TOFU properly again ^-^ i also dusted off my dot account, because i needed an hsk 6 graded reader resource. i was pleasantly surprised that the restrictions they'd originally placed on free accounts when they transitioned to a free/paid split seem to have been reduced a great deal (probably because they realised that restricting so much from the free model wouldn't work out in the long run). my goal for the summer for chinese is 100 flashcards per day for the two TOFU decks, plus three dot articles per day. for korean, i was able to get through a full lingory unit as well! i feel like i'm making good progress in terms of skills as well—i would place myself solidly at an a1 level now; the hardest part is just remembering vocabulary—i really need to put together a TOFU deck for the vocab i learn while doing lessons! (i tell myself every day, and then forget...) otherwise, i feel pretty confident in the basic grammar forms that i've learnt so far—i just need to track down some graded readers; i really wish there were a korean graded reader-specific app for korean, because graded readers for it are surprisingly hard to find! tomorrow's goals are to add in some german studying as well—it's not really feasible for me to add any more language classes to my uni courseload, because taking 20 credit hours a quarter isn't sustainable for me over the longterm, so i'd like to improve through self-study instead. from what i remember, there's lots of german graded readers, so that's good! i've also downloaded two novels i really enjoyed in english in german translation, and i'd like to work through a chapter a day or so, though i'm not sure how that'll actually work out. definitely will be using the busuu course, though, because from what i remember poking around a while back it seems pretty good.

[anki-of-beleriand]

Bad Liar ch. 10

Summary: Life is about lessons, and Wanda has been learning some harsh facts that had define her life and taken her to a place in which she was given a second chance. Then, all of a sudden, she meets you, and she realizes why it's easier to lie to yourself than to accpet what's right in front of her.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff/ Female!reader - America/Kate - Mentions of past Vision/Wanda - past Natasha/Reader - Some Female!Reader/Carol Danvers

Warnings: Slow burn - slightly Enemies to friends to lovers - Mentions of abusive relationships - Toxic relationships - angst - drama - mentions of abuse - idiots in love - homophobia - more tags as the story progress.

Author's note: There are some revelations as Reader takes a leap of faith and Wanda is finally confronted with her emotions, Kate is finally getting some progress, and someone just spot the twins in the mall.

As always, English is no my mother tongue, so please forgive the grammar, spelling and funny mistakes!

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18

Chapter 10

Breaking the distance

The snow was falling slowly right outside your window.

There was a small smile playing on your lips, you could hear Maria giving you a full debrief of the latest developments on the different projects you were leading. A part of your mind was on what she was saying, but your other half, the one daydreaming at the moment was replying to the last couple of days inside your head.

From the moment you met her, you knew there was something about Wanda Maximoff that would either drive you mad or make you fall in an instant. It wasn’t only about her looks, for you had always thought she was a beautiful woman, it was more about her own personality, her stubbornness, and her witty nature that made you believe she was out there to drive you off the wall.

Then, you actually got to know her.

She wasn’t as self-centered as you thought she was, and she certainly wasn’t as strong or as bitchy as she pretended to be. What you discovered behind those green eyes was someone vulnerable, someone reaching out to protect her children and to feel loved. Whatever scars she was carrying from her past were deep enough to make her vulnerable and strong and the same time.

You couldn’t help but remember the recent weekends you spent in her company; you never thought you would look forward to meeting with her or her children, to actually spend such special moments with her while fully aware of the growing tension between the both of you. It had been subtle at first, perhaps the tension carried by the fact you had been a bitch to her, and she was still slightly guarded around you. Then, you realized there was something else in there, you knew you were attracted to her that was the reason why you were so careful with your own delusions.

Yet, you couldn’t deny the recent looks she sent your way, or the lingering touches or the deepest of your conversations whenever you two were alone. You couldn’t help but long for these moments to be real, for those accidental touches and that timid smile to mean what your heart craved. That weekend, while America was trying to ease the pain on her back with the twins helping her around brought you closer to Wanda. In your mind, her green eyes lingered, her words, and the softness of her lips on your cheek moments before she left with the promise of coming back the next day. And the day after that, and the day after that one.

Your heart trembled, and your jaw clenched tightly at the overwhelming emotions running rampage inside you.

“You’re not paying attention to me. Again.” Maria huffed leaning back against her chair, the cold reproach in her voice broke you from your thoughts, you turned around smiling apologetically at Maria before settling yourself on your seat.

“Sorry, Maria, not my intention.” You laced your fingers together your eyes drifting to your mobile then back to Maria. “I just got a lot in my mind, what with the festival coming over next week and…”

“And Wanda.” Maria finished shaking her head. “Really, if I didn’t know better, I would say you two had a date tonight.”

“I wish.” You mumbled lowering your face to hide your blushing cheeks.

“You two still in the ‘we’re only friends’ phase?” Maria stated amusedly, she put her tablet on the table taking a closer look at you.

Maria Hill had been your father’s personal assistance, when he died, she took it upon herself to teach you the general workings of the company before presenting her resignation letter. She didn’t assume you would stay with her by your side, but it was obvious to you the woman was a valuable asset and a great friend you couldn’t let go. So Maria stayed and since then, she had always been the voice of reason around the company.

The older woman had seen you as of late, the moment Wanda Maximoff came into your life she had seen the changes from that fake annoyance in your voice whenever you mentioned her to the subtle affection in your tone as of late, Maria knew there was something there. You had changed so much; you were heard humming happily whenever you thought no one was looking. From time to time, a content smile would decorate your features, while your fingers tapped happily on any surface.

Whatever was happening with Wanda Maximoff certainly had a positive effect on you, and the other woman. Maria had heard Natasha talked about the other woman as well, how she was more relaxed as of late, how her smile was easy on her lips and she was always just waiting patiently to go into her phone and continue a conversation she had left unfinished with you. Natasha had seen Wanda grow while, at the same time, giving herself the chance to be herself without anyone dictating her life.

Now, if they both stopped being so stupid, everyone would be happier for them.

“We are friends, you know?” You rolled your eyes when Maria merely snorted.

“Right, but you want to be something more, don’t you?” Maria inquired, leaning forward.

You hesitated for a moment before shrugging in defeat, “I do but I think…I just don’t know how to approach this, Maria, she is just…confusing at times, you know?”

“No, not really, what do you mean?”

You contemplated the hard surface of your desk, your mind going through all the moments you had shared with Wanda so far. The mixed signals, as well as those conversations that had left you wondering if perhaps the woman was really looking for something else or she was just being nice. You really had been diving into an ocean of confusion that was finally catching up to your resistance and it was starting to drive your crazy.

“I just think…well, she has children, right? And a husband, right? I mean, she is not even divorced yet and well, nobody assures me she will get one any time soon. And perhaps I’m reading too much into her being nice.” You intertwined your hands rolling your eyes. “I feel like an idiot.”

Maria offered a comforting smile, she had never found herself so inclined to broke a promise she made to Natasha as she felt at that moment.

“You are overthinking, Y/N. You are not an idiot, but I do think you should have a serious conversation with Wanda.” Maria trailed off for a moment before continuing. “You have been dancing around this topic for far too long, why don’t take a chance? Why don’t just be honest?”

“What if I am wrong?” You asked softly, Maria smiled at you and the question that left her mouth next made you tremble with anticipation.

“What if you are not and you are actually loved?” Maria hesitated for a moment; she locked her eyes with you before continuing. “Don’t let this chance slip away from you, Y/N. Life is too short, and taking a leap of faith may lead to that happy ending you and her deserve.”

“Why do I have the feeling that you know something I don’t, Maria?” You retorted narrowing your eyes at Maria, the other woman shifted on the chair looking away from you.

“Talk to Wanda, Y/N. This is not my story to tell.”

“Everyone seems to know that story but me, why?”

Maria grimace shrugging, “not really my place, boss, now if you don’t mind me getting away from this conversation we could continue talking about your projects, and what we have been doing with Jarvis.”

You opened your mouth ready to protest but decided against it, Maria would not tell you what you wanted but mostly what you needed. And Maria was right about something, you needed to talk to Wanda and get the full story from her before making any rash decision. With a heavy heart, and a whirlpool of thoughts, you gave your full attention to the report and the situation with Jarvis.

________________________

When Wanda glanced at her reflection in the bathroom mirror she found herself looking into the eyes of a completely different woman.

A year ago, Wanda found herself scared to death while the cries of her children were muffled by the basement door. Vision had been furious after a party in which Billy, Tommy and Wanda had failed to make a good impression and had costed Vision a business deal with an important businessman. The twins had been locked the hole weekend, and Wanda…

Wanda shivered at the memory of the abuse she suffered that day.

But now, almost a year later, she was different.

She was no longer Wanda Jarvis, nor was she Wanda Frank.

She was Wanda Maximoff.

The only way she got to be closer to her mother, her brother, and her family.

Now that Wanda was looking at her reflection, she could see the longer hair and the green eyes gleaming with life. The traces of fear were no longer marking her features, and while letting go of her past was hard, she no longer feared her home, or loud noises, or the fact she was not on time with her house chores. And her children were free, they had grown so much in the last couple of months, the fear left them completely and instead of running from their neighbour, they were just excited to see them, to share time with them and have Wanda just as happy as them. 

No, the woman looking at her back was a woman that was discovering new things about herself. 

Wanda offered a tentative smile, her hand lifting up to the spot you had kissed that morning before saying goodbye. It was a foolishly gesture, something you had taken upon yourself to do whenever the both of you parted ways. The kiss was simple enough, but it lingered in Wanda's cheek with a burning fire Wanda was still uncertain to admit. 

She dropped her eyes, her phone unlocked and open in the conversation she was having with you. Since America had gotten into her little accident whatever time Wanda spent at home she either spent it at your place or hers. It had become a habit, preparing dinner and sharing some good conversation as well as watching some silly TV show in the company of the twins and America. 

And every morning, whenever you two crossed paths before going to your respective jobs, you would just approach Wanda wished her a good day and kiss her cheek. Wanda placed a hand on her face, her cheeks burning up and her lips curling slightly. She felt like a teen all over again, experimenting the tingling emotion of new discoveries, new relationships, new attractions. 

Attraction. 

Yes, because Wanda could no longer kid herself with what she was feeling, you had become an important part of her new life, and with you she had discovered something she thought buried a long time ago. She was attracted to you, she liked your smile and your silliness as much as she found exasperating your smugness and know it all nature. Wanda found herself thinking about you, waiting to see you, wanting to talk to you and that scared her in ways no many could comprehend. It wasn't only the fact that Wanda didn't think you would find her remotely interesting to consider anything at all with her, it wasn't only the fact that you were dating someone already. It was also the fear Wanda kept in her of getting lost in another relationship, of losing herself once more and not being able to be her. 

“You are thinking too hard, Wanda.”

Wanda jerked away from her reflection turning to see Natasha standing by the door of the bathroom. The older woman smiled at her, a single eyebrow lifted while her long legs carried her to the sink. 

“Are you alright?” Natasha inquired in the same sisterly tone she had taken to use with Wanda. 

“Yes, I am just… Nervous.” Wanda revealed, Natasha took that chance to teased her. 

“Nervous about our meeting with Y/N, or about the divorce papers?” Natasha gauged her reaction; Wanda opened her eyes wide hiding away her blush by bussing herself with her phone. 

“The… The divorce, of course.”

“Of course.” Natasha rolled her eyes but said nothing, she then put on a serious mask making sure Wanda understood the seriousness of what she was going to say.

“I know that this is a huge step, but you just have to sign them with the full custody of the twins papers and I will take care of everything else.” Natasha could see the tension building in Wanda, but this time around it came with a silent anger and determination she didn't feel months ago. 

Natasha was happy to see the progress, and if everything went fine the man would spend the rest of his life in jail. 

“I know, I already signed them, I just…” Wanda hesitated for a moment before speaking. “I really don't want to see him anymore, and this is going to be a long process that may come in the way…”

“You don't have to worry about that, Wanda. We have you covered and he would never know where you are hiding.”

Natasha could see there was something else bothering Wanda she waited putting a hand on Wanda’s forearm. Wanda lifted her eyes giving in and saying what was really tormenting her. 

“I haven't told Y/N the complete story, you know? What if… What if she finds out?” She sounded vulnerable, as if the mere idea of you knowing such a detail of her life really scared her. 

“Why haven't you told her?” Natasha asked but Wanda merely shrugged. 

“I just didn't want her to think less of me, I guess.” Wanda heard herself shaking her head and breaking into a bitter smile. “I just didn't want her to know how weak I am.”

“You know Y/N thinks the world of you, right?” Natasha balanced the knowledge she had of you and Wanda, of the growing relationship between the both of you before deciding she could push Wanda in the right direction. 

“She does?” Wanda looked surprised at this, Natasha nodded and continued. 

“You are a strong woman, Wanda. And Y/N can only see in you a strong woman, and someone she has come to really like.” 

There was a flicker of doubt shinning behind those green eyes, Wanda couldn't deny these words were somewhat comforting to her. But her doubt was rooted in the knowledge that you might had entertained the idea of liking her. Perhaps as something more than a friend.

“Don't think too much, Wanda,” this time around Natasha allowed the small contact with the young woman, her hand comforting on Wanda's shoulder, “let it flow, and let it be for the time being. You are doing fantastic so there is no rush.”

Wanda offered a tiny smile, she sighed following Natasha right outside the bathroom to the huddle room where you were waiting patiently for them to come in. 

Your face lit up at the sight of Wanda, and soon the both of you engaged in an animate conversation as if you had not seen one another in quite some time. Natasha observed from afar, she analysed your every gesture and your every word and soon she knew that all Wanda and you needed was time. 

Because everything else was already there. Two fools in love. 

_____________________

America had been out of commission for more than a week, she had tried to keep up with her physical therapy and her heart had been jumping in joy when Kate had joined in the different routines making sure America got them right. 

It had been a moment America had treasured greatly, Loki and Yelena had congratulated themselves for such a magnificent plan until Kamala chimed in to remind them Kate and America were technically still friends. 

This of course, didn't stop the pair who had everything planned out in the best way possible. Hence America nagging you with her plans for the day.

“So you're going to the movies?” You asked slightly confused by the comment. 

“Yes.” America nodded bouncing on her feet, she glanced at you then at her phone.

“I thought you were gonna babysit the twins while Wanda and I went to the school.” You made a gesture with your hand, trying to make sense of the request. 

“Yes, and I thought that we could see a movie with everyone else.” America leaned forward wiggling her eyebrows at you. “It will give you more time with Wanda, you know? And Billy and Tommy would be in good hands.”

You frowned looking away from your sister. 

“Have you told Wanda about this?”

America winced rolling her head, “Well, no. I haven't but… I have a card under my sleeve.”

You arched a brow at her, your chest filling with dread when you caught sight of her mischievous smile. 

“What did you do, America?”

“My dear sister, I know what you are experimenting and what you are going through.” America stated moving closer to you, her hands on your shoulders. “I have only cared for you to be happy, Y/N, and I can see Wanda makes you happy.”

Your body tensed completely, you tried to look away from America but whenever she stood her ground speaking at you with such a serious stare you knew there was nothing much you could do. America dropped her shoulders, her eyes hiding away the conflict inside her mind. 

“I don't want you to get hurt, you know?”

“I know.”

“If Wanda is someone you want then, the least I can do is to make sure you can be with her.” America offered a half smile, her hands squeezing your shoulders comfortingly. “But you need to do something already, this indecision would only create more confusion to you, to her and to the twins.”

“The twins?” You repeated blinking slowly. 

“Of course! They had noticed, you know?” America rolled her eyes at you. “They had noticed the changes in Professor Maximoff and in you, the amount of time we spent with one another, they may not understand but they know something is going on.”

You never stopped to consider that Wanda's children would be aware of what was happening. You didn't even consider the possibility, not because you thought they were fools, but because they were children. America opened her mouth to say something else but she stopped before anything came out of her mouth, while it was true that you shouldn't jump into any kind of relationship with a woman you didn't know too well, it was not her place to share her discoveries, Kate had explained to her that much. America stepped back, she knew what she had to do and that opportunity would present to her sooner rather than later, as soon as you and Wanda stopped dancing around one another. 

“So, you think…I mean, not that you are right but… You think there is a chance that anything may happen?” You asked casually, America snorted hugging you tightly. 

“You are an idiot.”

“Thank you, Lil sis, that's what I need to hear.”

America chuckled before going back to her initial request. 

“So, about the car…”

“Ugh, let's see first if Wanda agrees with this crazy plan then the car is all yours.” 

“Yes!” America punched you on the shoulder strolling down the hall calling her friends to share with them your approval. 

You snorted shaking your head, your eyes lifted to looked out of the window to the next-door house wondering what kind of conversation Wanda was having with her children. There was a moment of silence, your eyes fixated on the house next door until an idea formed in your mind; that Saturday would be the best chance you got to be with Wanda alone. It would be the chance to…

You sighed grabbing your phone and looking for the familiar name in your contact list. You chewed on your lower lip, if you didn’t take a leap of faith…you would never know, right?

“Hey, Ajak, how is it going?”

******

Just as America had told Y/N, the twins had noticed the changes in their lives.

It wasn’t that hard, the had spent most of their childhood afraid of the clock marking a specific time, or the door opening and closing, they had been afraid of the smell their dad usually brought with him when screaming and hitting at them. They had seen their mother cry, and they had seen and experimented the pain and the suffering the same way as Wanda did.

Then, one day, they just went inside a care and their mom took them down different roads, crying and confused until they reached anew house. It had taken some time, but Billy and Tommy had come to love their new home. They liked America who was always nice with them, she was always playing games with them or reading them stories or actually treating them like big boys. Tommy like Y/N first, while Billy just thought she was a silly woman.

Tommy disagreed with his brother, he had seen first hand how nice Y/N was and how good she was with medicine. Then, Tommy had seen how her mom smiled more often whenever Y/N was closed, and Billy had grumpily agreed with Tommy because Y/N seemed to be a constant figure in their lives.

And their mom liked Y/N.

Of that, the twins had not doubt.  And if their mom liked her, then they could like her as well, right?

The confusing part was to define what exactly meant for their mom to like Y/N; Balder had said that they wanted to kiss, but it was not possible because they were girls. Then, they started their own investigation when Balder told them that Nathaniel a boy in their class had two daddies, and then Balder talked about Val a friend of their dad that lived with another girl and they kissed one another.

It was confusing, but if their mom was happy then…well, then she needed to kiss Y/N.

It was either that, or their dad coming back. But they hated this idea, and they would prefer their mommy alone than back with their dad. Of that, their little minds were completely sure.

Now, the only thing they needed to do, according to Balder, was to make sure their mom knew they agreed to her and Y/N to kiss. It was only that, right?

Billy and Tommy glanced at one another; Tommy opened his eyes really big mouthing something to his brother. Billy scowled grabbing his glass of milk before speaking.

“Mommy, do you like Y/N?” Wanda was caught off of guard, the question made her choke on the coffee she had been drinking. Tommy gave his twin the thumbs up, but Billy was still scowling openly at his mom.

Wanda was coughing trying to recover ignoring that Tommy was swinging his legs in the air, his hand grabbing the spoon filled with cereal.

“I like Y/N! She is funny, and nice and she is… Warm.” Tommy scrunched up his nose, not really sure he had chosen the right words. 

“I…I…Warm?” Wanda stuttered.

“You are all red when she is here! Like when is hot in the house!” Tommy exclaimed as if that was enough explanation, Wanda winced trying to hide her mortified expression from the twins. 

“She makes mommy smile too.” Billy lifted his eyes to Wanda blinking innocently as he waited for an answer to his question. 

Wanda tried to take another sip from her coffee, her eyes glancing everywhere but at her children who were now focusing their attention on her. 

“Mommy?” Billy asked again, Wanda sighed placing her mug on the counter. 

“Yes, Billy, I like Y/N.” Wanda answered casually trying to quiet down the butterflies flying around her abdomen. 

“I like her too.” Billy nodded in agreement; Tommy grabbed another spoonful of cereal. “She is pretty.”

Wanda had to silently agreed with Billy, she softened her eyes slightly knowing her children really liked you a lot. It was one of the things that had made Wanda feel attracted to you. How easy you fit in with the twins, how you had earned their love and their friendship by being just plain silly with them. You and America had taught them how to be children again, how to let go of their fears of watching the clock every once in a while or trembling when the door opened and closed, or to let go of Wanda and run freely to have fun. 

“Mommy, do you have to go today?” Tommy asked softly, Wanda opened her eyes at the question, she had told them already that day they were needed it back at school to finish the decorations for the ball. 

“Yes, Tommy, but mommy won't take too long, and America is going to watch over you…”

“Can Y/N stay here too?” Billy asked and Wanda winced lightly at the request. 

“No, Billy, she will come with me to school.” 

Billy and Tommy glanced at one another; Wanda narrowed her eyes at the sudden spark of mischief that shone in their eyes. 

“Can we watch a movie?”

Wanda leaned forward waiting for the real request. 

“Yes, of course.” She answered tentatively. 

“Can America take us to the theatre to see a movie?” They both asked at the same time, Wanda opened her eyes leaning back as they grinned widely at her. 

Wanda hesitated before shaking her head. 

“To the cinema.” She clarified then, “you mean, to the mall?”

Billy and Tommy nodded eagerly, Wanda opened her mouth then closed it again, her mind going through the possibilities of her children going to the mall with America. Then, as she went to drink another sip from her coffee she almost choked again at Tommy's next words. 

“We promised we won't get mad if you and Y/N kiss each other, Mommy!”

“Tommy!” Billy exclaimed hitting his brother while Wanda tried to recover. 

“What?”

“Balder said you and Y/N want to kiss one another but that you need to be alone because that's what you do when you like someone.” Tommy said in one breath trying to get away from Billy who was trying to shut him up. “and you say you like Y/N!!”

“Tommy!! You ruined it!!” Billy scolded his brother crossing his arms and glaring at his twin. 

Tommy crossed his arms as well, red and slightly guilty at what he just said. Wanda placed a hand on her face, she was trying to collect her thoughts and had a serious conversation with her children when the doorbell sounded tearing her attention from the current situation to be door. 

“We will have a serious conversation about this, guys, but now stop glaring at one another and behave. I'm going to see who it is.”

Wanda was trying to regulate her heartbeat that actually skyrocketed when she opened the door to see you standing there. You were dressed rather casually, with a light jacket on and a scarf that helped out a little in the cold winter weather. Your grin showing off the dimples on your cheeks, with your eyes gleaming warmly at the woman standing in front of you. 

“Y/N!” Tommy was the first one to come running towards you, he wrapped his arms around you grinning while looking around until his eyes found America and he went right in to greet her as well. 

“Hope we didn't interrupt anything?” You asked after the silence stretched out for far too long. 

“Oh, no, no we were having breakfast.” Wanda stated not overly excited to tell you what she had been talking about with the twins. “Would you like to come on in? I was getting ready, but I thought we will go later today.”

Billy was standing to the side, his eyes narrowed and the small scowl he had been wearing before was back on his face. You hesitated before going over to him, your hand stretched out. 

“Good morning, Billy.” The boy glance at your hand, then at you and Tommy before taking your hand. 

“Hi.” He then stepped back and went to hug America who winced at the force the twins had greeted her with. 

Wanda winced but you merely chuckled, shrugging. 

“So I know we said later but… I have a proposal for you.” Your grin was infectious and soon Wanda found herself smiling back. 

America held back the twins, whispering with them while glancing at the adults every once in a while. 

“What proposal?”

“Well, you can have lunch with me.” You sounded more confident that what you really felt, your heart was threatening to leave your chest and your palms had gotten sweaty all of a sudden. “I mean, we could have lunch and then go to the school. America and her friends were thinking of doing something today and well, that includes taking Tommy and Billy to the movies… If you agree?”

Wanda soon found herself being cornered by her children, one teenager, and you all four looking at her with puppy eyes and pleadingly smiles. She gave in, it was hard not to do so even with the latent fear of having her children going outside with people that was not her, and perhaps risking their well-being by getting spotted by someone of their previous life. 

“We're not going to be alone, though.” America decided to intervene, she had the twins on each hand making sure she could show just how responsible she was. “Thor and Sif will come with us, Balder is also and we were actually going with them because they are planning Loki’s birthday party so… We won't be alone.”

“And, it's free lunch, so it's a win-win situation.” You completed it, Wanda knew her battle was lost the moment she found herself looking into your warm eyes smiling back at you with a hint of disbelief in her features. 

It was such a foolishly thing to fall for, she decided to ignore the warmth filling up her chest as well as the fluttering wings of butterflies in her lower abdomen. She felt her mind melting at the sight, and her cheeks coloured pink when you winked at her. 

“And mommy can kimphf.” Billy and America both grabbed Tommy silencing him before he could finish the sentence. 

You furrowed your brows, America was shaking her head while smiling apologetically at you. Tommy and Billy were arguing while Wanda had placed a hand on her face, slightly mortified and embarrassed. 

“So, what did I miss?”

“Nothing, just never mind, I think that's a good idea.” Wanda spoke quickly placing a hand on your forearm. “I was finishing something up, and then I guess you guys can go and…”

“And we can go too. Excellent, need any help?”

By the time midday arrived you were on the road with Wanda glancing at her watch and phone every chance she got. The car drive was silent, with not a single word shared between you just as you drove down streets Wanda had barely recognized. 

“They're gonna be fine, you know?” You finally said glancing at the woman beside you out of the corner of your eye. 

Wanda let out a snort, her eyes closing lightly before she leaned back on the seat. 

“I know.” She hesitated playing with the idea of telling you her real concern before dismissing the idea with a sigh. “I just… I have never let them go out without me, you know?”

You pursed your lips before speaking, “if you want we can join them, I can take the exit down there and we will be there in twenty minutes.”

Wanda turned sharply at you, her eyes opened and her brows lifted. 

“Really? You… You would do that?”

“It is obvious you are not comfortable, Wands, and that you want to be there with them.” You explained softening lightly, your hand sneaking around to grab hers in yours. “If it is important to you, then it is important to me.”

Wanda swallowed down her emotions, her hand squeezing yours. She played with the idea of accepting your proposal, she had this bad feeling with her children but she was also conscious this was due to her paranoid mind. She glanced at her hand and yours, before shaking her head. 

“I just think I need time, that’s all. We don't have to go over there.” Wanda felt her hand twitched before she let it rest against yours. “We haven't been this far from one another in a while, and well…”

Wanda trailed off she was not ready to share with you her tumultuous past. Or the story of her abusive husband. She was happy with the knowledge you had only seen the new Wanda, her new family and no what she was. 

“I can't even imagine what would be when they are dating.”

You chuckled, a content smile playing on your lips while you drove with a single hand. 

“I don't think it would be that terrible, you know?” Your eyes wandered around the mirror to take a look at Wanda. “Are you afraid they would bring a girl or a boy home?”

Wanda found herself shocked by the question, she looked out of the car thinking over before speaking her thumb caressing the palm of your hand absentmindedly. 

“I'm afraid they will bring a bad person home. I just want them to be happy with the right one.”

You could tell there was more to that story, but your attention was soon grabbed by your mobile announcing the proximity of the restaurant you had been looking for. Wanda leaned forward finding Olympia in all her glory standing proudly in the midst of powerful decorations of ancient times. 

“Today we're going to try a different setting, if you don't mind?”

Wanda tilted her head curious, she then smiled at you. 

“Not at all, free food, right?”

You chuckled parking the car while tilting your head to the side, “free food.”

The place was still packed, and this time around Wanda didn’t feel the pressure of being around so many people as she felt it before. There were families and group of friends all around the restaurant, the noise increased as they stepped further inside the building. You had said no word to Wanda yet, but to ensure she was never too far behind you grabbed her hand in yours leading her through the tables and the people until you found yourself at the back of the building.

Ajak was waiting for you there.

The older woman had the same smile she wore last time, in her eyes Wanda could recognize the traces of intelligence mixed up with the knowledge of unknown secrets. She was standing by a glass door, inside Wanda could see a world filled with colours, and she couldn’t help but stepped forward her curiosity sparked by the beautiful sight in front of her.

Your eyes followed Wanda around, there was no doubt in your mind that seeing the smile on her face and the innocent excitement in her expression was enough for you to be happy as well. Ajak snorted knowingly stepping aside while showing the doorknob decorated with golden holding the glass door closed.

“I hope traffic was not too bad, Y/N.” Ajak spoke her eyes going from Wanda to you.

“Not at all, Ajak, how is business so far?”

“You know, this is the best season for me.” Ajak shrugged this time around turning to Wanda. “And, Wanda, I hope your children are doing okay?”

Wanda was slightly taken aback; she offered a tentative smile nodding.

“They are, thank you.”

Ajak offered a tilt of her head before placing her hand on the doorknob, there was a strange tension in the air and Wanda had just noticed this section of the restaurant was not that busy. She looked around the place before her eyes settled in you, you shifted with some hesitation before stepping forward.

“Well, as always, I’m glad to make my customers happy, so I hope you liked what we did here.” Ajak opened the door stepping aside, her eyes following you and Wanda inside the glassed domo.

The theme chosen to decorate this place had been nature.

Wanda gasped the cold of the day forgotten as a warmth breeze caressed her skin, the sweet aroma of flowers and nature filled her nostrils while her eyes were enchanted by the sight of colourful flowers and multiple plants that create a path stretching out deeper inside the dome. Wanda had forgotten all about you, she just stepped inside touching the leaves of the closets tree finding this was actually a real tree and not some artificial creation. She walked down the road, her eyes gleaming excitedly taking notice of the sunflowers and the roses, she even got sight of orchids and some palms.

“You really know how to woo a girl, don’t you?” Ajak whispered beside you, you almost jerked away forgetting all about the older woman.

When you turned to face her, Ajak was already smiling knowingly at you. There was no use in denying what was happening or what you were trying to accomplish, you shrugged lightly lowering your face before speaking.

“Do you think…she likes it?” You finally asked, Ajak placed a hand on your forearm shaking her head.

“I think she loves it, and I think you are in deep trouble.” Ajak didn’t let you defend yourself, she merely nodded towards the greenhouse placing a gadget on your hand. “Everything is ready over there, Thena was already warned so you just had to press the button and they will bring everything, okay?”

“Thank you, Ajak, I really owed you one.”

Wanda was already walking down the artificial road by the time you caught up with her.

The young woman turned to you, and the sheer happiness she was wearing at the moment was something you realized you were not familiar with. Something inside you stirred with affection, your own expressions softening while it was quite evident you could not look away from her.

“This is amazing, Y/N, how did you find out about this place?” Wanda asked never losing her smile.

“Well, Olympia is really famous for being a themed restaurant and having the best food in the country.” You replied standing closer to Wanda. “And this place, is a new environment she was trying to get tested, so…I thought, why not?”

Wanda offered a tentative smile, looking away while trying to understand why she was feeling disappointed. You opened your mouth to say something else, but decided against it, your hand twitched at your side until you made up your mind and soon you were grabbing Wanda’s hand in yours.

“I hope you like it, I just thought of you when they offered me to try out this place.” You waited until those green eyes turned to you, this time around Wanda broke all pretences and there was a glint of vulnerability in her stare.

“Really? Why did you think about me?” Wanda could tell her question made you nervous, you avoid her eyes while stepping back bringing her over with you walking slowly down the road.

“I can’t seem to stop thinking about you, Wanda.” The sheer honesty behind your words made the other woman hesitated, you didn’t dare to look at Wanda and instead of that you turned around your voice being carried by the echo in the greenhouse.

“I couldn’t help but think you may really like this place, and perhaps that I could make you smile.” Then you tilted your head back, and the smile that showed on your face was one filled with doubts and longing. “I hope I am not overstepping or that you I mean, I just I’m not sure if…”

“This is perfect, thank you for the gesture.” Wanda didn’t let go of your hand, but her body language turned confusing for you it was as if Wanda was fighting with herself, she had stepped closer to you yet her eyes turned into stormy whirlpools of green.

There was an obvious tension around you two, and you knew if you were to lean in you would be able to discover the taste of her lips. Wanda was standing there, her eyes travelling around your face falling always on your lips before she returned to your eyes; she wished she was stronger, that she probably was more daring to end with her confusion and her curiosity but…what if you didn’t want to? What if you rejected her? What if Wanda was reading the situation incorrectly?

She could lose everything, and what she had found with you was something she didn’t want to let go off anytime soon.

“Can you show me around?” Wanda finally whispered; your stomach dropped in disappointment but you didn’t give up. Instead, you just put on a smile leading Wanda around while telling her the story of Olympia.

The greenhouse had been built right outside the main building, it was erected with tempered glass that gave the place the right environment to keep most the plants and flowers alive. The road had been made with wooden planks that twisted and turned around the place giving the visitors a nice view of the flora growing inside the dome. The main dining area was actually at the very centred, in which a pond rested filled with water flowers and a huge Oak tree. The dining sets were all made of bamboo, simple yet fashionable and comfortable; Wanda was beyond herself surrounded by such beauty.

It wasn't only the sight of the trees, or the flowers, not even the warm climate or the pond that was giving up the impression of a multicoloured source of water.

“This is amazing.” Wanda said breathily, she walked towards the only table that had been set up, her heart fluttering in her chest. What was the meaning of all of this?

By the time Wanda turned to you, it was easy to read the questions and the confusion inside her eyes. You wished there was an easy explanation for what you had done, for what you had planned in less than an hour that very morning. But the truth was, you couldn't. Whatever explanations you might have gone out of the window when she faced you with such a gleeful expression.

“I'm glad you like it, we are the very first ones to try this place out so…” You walked past her putting the chair out, your hand showing off the empty chair. “Madam, if you might…”

Wanda dipped her head hiding away the flush on her cheeks, with a hesitant step she went to the offer chair sitting down. 

“How did you do it?” Wanda asked, waving her hand at you as you sat in front of her. “How did you get a table in this place?”

“Oh, Ajak was a friend of my parents, my father even provided some investment to her business.” You shrugged. “She has always been kind to us, and she always has a table for my family.”

“But this is a new environment.” Wanda could see your shifting on the chair, your eyes looking everywhere but at her.

“Yeah, Ajak was needing some testers, and I thought we could be those testers.” You tried to sound casual, fixing the napkin on the table before lifting your eyes offering a half smile. “She is supposed to open this formally by the end of the year.”

Wanda placed her elbows on the table, her eyes dancing around the place before she set them on you firmly.

“Well, this is nice, thank you again.”

“I think your smile is thank you enough, Wands, you really should try smiling more often.” You replied before you could stop yourself, Wanda’s smile grew just a little with her cheeks colouring pink.

“I…” Wanda bit her lower lip ready to ask something when the sound of footsteps called her attention.

Your eyes lit up, and as soon as the owner of those footsteps show up you stood up and met the older woman halfway. Wanda shifted uncomfortably on the chair, her stomach twisted unpleasantly while her hand grabbed the closest napkin tightly; Wanda rolled her eyes turning around to fixed her attention in something else when the older woman leaned in to place a kiss on your cheek.

“You look just as beautiful as I remember, Y/N.” Thena leaned in, her clear eyes falling on Wanda that had her back to you two. The older woman raised a single elegant eyebrow, her attention coming back to you.

“And you, my dear Thena, are as flirty and as mischievous as I remember.” You shared a smile; the older woman placed a hand on your shoulder before stepping forward to go over to Wanda.

“And you must be, Mrs. Maximoff, am I right?” Then stretched out her hand to Wanda who looked like a deer caught in the headlights, she put her chair back her hand trembling as she grabbed Thena blinking away her confusion.

“I…yeah, yeah, you are…”

“The chef.” Thena lifted a single hand and soon two waitresses came right in. “As a courtesy, I would like to offer you a simple appetiser with drinks, you will have a chance to look at the menu and as soon as you decided you can go ahead and call for us.”

“Thank you, Thena.” You sat down looking excitedly at the table, wiggling your fingers as everyone set up the table.

“Don’t even mention it, I am always more than happy to attend to you and any of your women when you come here. Please, enjoy.”

You opened your eyes wide at those words, you opened your mouth to protest but Thena left as fast as she had come. Wanda frowned lightly, waiting for the rest of the people to leave before she set her eyes on the menu in front of her.

“So, you bring many women here? Is that it?” She asked coldly, you gulped shaking your head.

“No! I don’t…” You sighed rolling your eyes before closing them. “I haven’t brought anyone here since Shuri.”

Wanda made a face, a mixture of disbelief and curiosity that didn’t went amiss by you. You fixed on your chair, selecting your favourite dish from the menu before speaking again.

“We were together since high school, you know? I thought we would be forever, it was strange mainly because of our backgrounds.” You leaned forward making explanations that Wanda was not asking for but you had the need to share.

“When did…” Wanda trailed off, hesitating for a moment until your hand found hers on the table.

“What is it?”

“You may think I’m a fool.” She mumbled looking away from you, you chuckled brushing your thumb on the back of her hand.

“Come on! Nothing you said may make me think that, what is it?”

Wanda glanced at your joined hands, her heart skipping a beat feeling the overwhelming emotions drowning her senses. Whatever was happening at the moment, whatever had pushed you to invite her over for lunch that day and to spend the day alone with her, Wanda was still afraid of crossing over that thin line that had been drawn between the both of you in the last couple of weeks. But being here with you, enjoying the soft music playing in the air, and the beautiful place you had brought her to, Wanda could feel her resolution crumbling the moment you offered that tiny smile and those gleaming eyes.

“When did you realize you like women?” Wanda asked in a thin voice, almost shyly waiting for you to laugh or make fun of her question.

The question caught you by surprised, it didn’t make you laugh but it ignited some hopeful flame inside you. You shifted slightly, leaning to the side while never letting for of the hand you were holding.

“I mean, you don’t have to answer, is just, I was curious, I have never I mean…”

Wanda tried to let go of you, but you were faster than her, and her breath caught in her throat when you intertwined your hand with hers giving her a comforting squeeze. You relaxed into the chair, making sure that the other woman was as comfortable as she could be while you started sharing your story.

“Well, actually, it was quite funny, you know?” The world soon disappeared and in the midst of the greenhouse, near a pond and nature, you started sharing a part of you that not many had worried to ask before.

And, as you words filled Wanda with images of your memories, she herself felt a tug in her heart wanting nothing more than to know more about you, to know more about your process…to perhaps get to see if she was just as brave as you had been when you realized you like women.

______________

The mall was packed.

It seemed as if everyone had decided to go out on that very day to make any shopping and go to the movies. Billy and Tommy were excited to just go outside with America and her friends, they had learnt the hard way to never get too far from the grown ups and as memory goes, they didn’t remember the lats time they were allowed outside in such a place without the watchful eye of their father on them.

As soon as they arrived at the mall, Balder and Loki joined them with Thor and Sif trying to set up some ground rules from the teen and child they were chaperoning for the day. Minutes later, America and Loki had been joined by Kate, Yelena, Kamala and Peter all of them ready to go to the movies before going for something to eat.

“You are a grown man, Loki, so I expect you to be in your best behaviour.”

“Yes, brother, I will be.” Loki rolled his eyes when Thor placed a hand on his shoulder trying to make the same gestures Odin used on him.

“Sif and I will start the shopping list, and we will be around if you need us,” this time around Thor redirected his attention to the rest of the group, “don’t get th youngest out of your sight, and if anything happens…”

“We will scream and ask for help, we know, Thor stop it!”

Thor opened his mouth, but stopped himself when Sif came in, this time around Loki gulped dropping his shoulders and submitting right away.

“We are just concern, Loki, and since you have three young boys under your care we want to make sure everything goes well.”

“We know, Sif, don’t worry, we have your phones and we won’t leave them alone.” Loki grumbled crossing his arms, Sif smile nodding and stepping away.

“Then we will see each other in the food court at 3pm, don’t be late.”

“No, ma’am.”

America held back her laughter when Yelena made a whop sound at Loki’s words, the young man glared at her while Kamala and Peter snickered. Kate held Billy’s hand in hers, she and America glanced at one another and decided to start walking down the hall towards the cinema. Tommy was holding onto America, his eyes huge glancing around the place quite excitedly, squeezing America’s hand while pointing around to the stores.

“America! Look! Look! Did you see that?” Tommy squealed dragging America to a toy store, America chuckled following him with a smile in place.

“Yeah, Tommy, this is one of the biggest toy stores in here, if you want we can go in after the movie.”

Tommy turned to her wide eye, his mouth hanging open.

“Really?”

America almost winced, it was as if Tommy really was completely shocked to be on a place like the shopping centre and more so that he would be allowed to go into a toy store. Kate stood by her side, Billy was standing by her but his eyes were just as wide as those of her brother’s.

“Yeah, kiddo, really.”

America felt a hand on her lower back, she turned to see Kate smiling at her reassuringly, and the young woman returned the smile leaning into the touch. Billy lifted his eyes curious at the interaction, with Tommy blinking with curiosity before grabbing Kate’s hand. The young brunette lowered her stare and her heart almost exited her chest when Tommy joined her hand with that of America, the both of them blushing just as Tommy and Billy each one of them stood by the corners with America and Kate standing closed to one another.

“You know? Those two are far more subtle than you two.” Kamala stated to Loki who had just giving Peter the task to take care of Balder.

“So it seems.” Loki smirked, turning to Yelena and Kamala before speaking loudly, “did you see Chavez and Bishop blush like a pair of schoolgirls with a crush?”

“Shut up, Loki!” America and Kate exclaimed at the same time.

Tommy and Billy had taken it upon themselves to make sure Kate and America were as closed as they could be without crossing the line between friendship and something else.

By the time the movie had started they both sat closed to one another, with billy sitting at America’s right and Tommy sitting at Kate’s left side. America accommodated herself on the seat, her eyes would seek Kate every once in a while finding the other teen smiling at her while also engaging Tommy in small conversation.

“I think this is a good idea.” Kate whispered in America’s ear, the young woman shivered turning to see Kate’s face was dangerously close to hers.

“Wh-what?” America winced at her stutter, Kate merely rolled her eyes leaning closer resting her head on America’s shoulder.

“I think this is a good idea, Tommy and Billy are really enjoying the movie. And I bet your sister is having a good time as well.”

“Oh, yeah, I think so to. But this is thanks to you, Kate.” America hesitated before placing a single kiss on her friend’s forehead.

Kate smiled contentedly, “I guess we really are good together.”

America’s breath caught in her throat, she dared to grabbed Kate’s hands in hers knowing Kate could hear the hammering of her heart at the moment.

“I guess…I guess we do.”

Kate smirked into the movie, she knew it would be just a matter of time, she really hoped so because she was tired of playing the game of mouse and cat with America. Without anything else to say, they spent the rest of the movie holding hands ignoring the knowing glances their friends were sending their way.

By the time they exited the movie, it was almost three in the afternoon.

The movie had been silly, and they found themselves laughing and having a good time shooting cautious glances at one another all through the movie, leaning closer to one another until it was quite obvious tension had been building amongst them. The group had decided to move onto the food court while Loki tried to contact Thor and Sif.

America winced seeing the place completely packed, it seemed as if every single person in the city decided to go that day to the shopping centre.

“There are too many people.” Kamala made a face standing on the tip of her feet trying to look around.

“Ugh, I’m hungry, we should have eaten before going to the movie.” Peter tilted his head grabbing his stomach. “Come, Kam, let’s see if there is anything at the back.”

“Be right back, guys.”

America watched as Peter and Kamala left, and Yelena and Loki made a quick exploration of the different food stalls. Kate observed as Tommy rubbed his eyes, he yawned turning to America and tugging on her sleeve.

“Are you okay, Tommy?” America knelt, tilting her head.

“I’m sleepy.” Tommy yawned again wrapping his arms around America’s neck, the young woman melted picking him up in her arms.

Kate came around with Billy who was still quite active shooting his brother curious glances.

“Is everything alright?” Kate turned to the food court rolling her eyes when she spotted the rest of the group still struggling to get a table.

“Yeah, Tommy is tired, and I think we won’t find any place to sit.” America made a face with Kate wincing as well.

“I think you’re right.” Kate then perked up her eyes growing wide. “Oh, what if we grab the food and go back to your place? Tommy and Billy really looked tired and well…”

“Can we?” Billy mumbled as well, “I’m tired too.”

America shrugged fixing tommy in her arms, Kate melted lightly at the overprotective nature of America with these kids that had ended up becoming like little brothers to her. Kate hesitated for a moment before stepping closer to get Tommy in her arms, America furrowed her brows but the young woman merely shook her head.

“Your back is not completely healed yet, and you look as if you need a hand.” Kate blushed lightly when her hand brushed against America’s. “Besides, you’re the only one that can get them to behave.”

“Thank you, Kate.” America made sure Tommy was comfortable, she leaned closer until her eyes met those of Kate. For a brief moment the both of them looked at one another, like this America could see the soft pink colour in Kate’s cheeks.

Then, as if she just thought about that, America leaned in placing a kiss on Kate’s cheek.

“I’ll be right back then. Billy you take care of them.”

“Yes!”

America winked at Kate turning around to get Loki and the others. Billy shot a curious glance to Kate who was smiling like a fool, her cheeks completely red by now. Tommy stirred in the young woman’s arms, his eyes going wide when he spotted a woman right at the other end of a store. He shivered trying to hide his face while holding tightly onto a very distracted Kate.

Billy stood right beside Kate, talking once more about his favourite cartoon before Balder and the others joined Kate.

No one of them, not even Thor and Sif once they caught up with the group, realized they were being watched. None of them noticed the older woman stepping out of the store with her phone on her hand, her eyes going wide and a frown adorning her features as she went through her contacts to dial a familiar number.

“Vision dear, I hope you’re doing okay.” Agatha Harkness smiled into the phone, her eyes losing sight of the twins but she had already seen enough. “I’m good thank you, I was visiting my sister here in the city when, you won’t believe who I just saw, dear. Your children are here, Tommy and Billy. No, Wanda is not with them. Of course, let me tell you everything.”

The lights in your house and Wanda’s were out.

You parked the car right outside Wanda’s garage, the other woman had fallen asleep along the way knowing her children had gotten home earlier than expected and were just sleeping happily in your home. Snow had started falling by the time you two made it back, the school organization had taken most of the afternoon and the evening, but everything had been left ready for the kids to have a nice festival during the week, and the seniors to have a good dance on Friday.

You turned to Wanda, the young woman was facing you with her right arm around her abdomen and her mouth slightly open. You chuckled leaning in to see if she had started drooling yet, but seemed as if she was just in the early stages of sleep.

That day had been magical.

Wanda had been opened as well, she told you about her childhood back in Sokovia, she was happy telling you about her brother and her mother and how they had learnt English through old sitcoms while their father found a way to move permanently to the States. You had told Wanda about your first time facing your sexuality, and how you went through a lot of dates before finding Shuri. You told her about the tumultuous past with that relationship, the break-ups and the reconciliation, the lack of character on your part to end something that was going nowhere.

Then, everything turned into funny stories of failed mischief.

And her laughter had filled the auditorium while you supervised the set-up of the ice skat rink, and they set-up the music and the platform for the main event.  Your heart crushed under the overwhelming affection you felt for the woman sitting beside you, there was a hole in your abdomen filled with butterflies and uncertainty of what exactly you should do. Should you lean in and kiss her? Should just keep sending her messages about how much you like her?

You sighed turning to the house, then back to the woman that was still fast asleep. You wished you were braver than this, that you would just cross the line without the latent fear of losing everything if you were to finally close the distance between the both of you.

“I’m an idiot.” You mumbled before turning around and placing a single hand on Wanda’s cheek. “Hey, Wands, we’re here.”

Wanda stirred leaning into your touch with a single smile decorating her lips, she let her eyelids fluttered for a moment before letting out a yawn she tried to cover with her hand. You chuckled tugging a strand of hair behind her ear, your eyes softening lightly finding her green ones staring at you.

“We’re here already?”

“Yeah, just on time, is starting to snow.”

Wanda stretched out blinking away her sleepy state, she glanced out of the window grinning at the sight of snow falling right outside her window.  

“I love this season, you know? It reminds me of home and Pietro.” Wanda leaned back on the seat, wiggling her hands together before turning to you wrapping her arms around you, her mouth close to your ear. “Thank you, today was amazing, Y/N.”

“I’m glad you like it, Wands.” You smiled into the embrace, your hand drawing soothing circles in Wanda’s lower back. “I imagine you could use some grown up time, and I just…I want to see you smile.”

“Why?” Wanda leaned back, but not enough for you to not feel her warm breath on your face.

“You have a beautiful smile, Wands. I think you already know that.” You replied letting your fingertips played with some locks of her hair. “I thought it was pretty obvious how smitten I am for that smile.”

You knew that day you had been playing with fire, and while you had taken a leap of faith, Wanda was still as confused as ever. The young woman didn’t move from her position, and you almost choked yourself with your spit when she leaned over to place a single kiss on your cheek.

“You are not the only one smitten, Y/N, I also like it when you smile.” Then she leaned back and turned to your house. “I think we better go inside, it’s getting cold already.”

Without any more words, the both of you exited the car strolling down the entrance leading to your house; all the lights inside were off but you could see a silver one coming from the basement.

You made your way to the door with Wanda following you closed behind, by the time the both of you got to the bottom of the stairs you had to snort in disbelief at the scene.

“Seems like your house was the center of a sleep over.” Wanda wrapped her arms around herself, her lips curling into a soft smile that you shared with her.

“Looks that way, I guess we should let them, right?”

Tommy and Billy had arranged themselves at each side of Kate and America that were sharing the same space, Loki and Yelena were snuggling closer to one another, while Kamala and Peter were sprawled on the corner. There was a movie playing on the TV, but you decided to just leave it there. Everyone was fast asleep, and you could only guess the day for them had been just as tiresome as it had been for you.

“I think we better leave them be.” Wanda grabbed your hand tugging you to her and going upstairs, your heart skipped a beat at the gesture and soon you and Wanda were closing the door of the basement and moving to the kitchen.

“I guess I should get going, I mean…”

“You can stay, you know?”

There were no lights at home, and Wanda was still holding your hand in hers. The younger woman didn’t dare to look you in the eye, and you knew that if she did you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself. Wanda gulped chewing on her lower lip, you stepped closer shivering under the stare of the other woman.

“I shouldn’t.”

“Why?”

Wanda sighed but did not make any attempt to step back, “you know why.”

You tilted your head, your face falling and your eyes showing your shattered heart.

“I really don’t understand it.” You replied furrowing your brows. “I thought…”

Wanda shook her head, this time around she let go of your hand and her hands cupped your face. She was trembling, much like you were at the moment, and as you locked eyes with her you could see the struggle she was living. The tears in her eyes, the storm going on inside her head.

“I can’t stop thinking about you, Y/N, and being near you fills me with unbelievable happiness and I am scared.” Wanda fluttered her eyes close, and you could see a single tear rolling down her cheek. “there are things you don’t know and I wish…I want to tell you, but I just…”

“You need time.” You stated brushing tenderly the tears, Wanda nodded and her lower lip quivered waiting for an answer.

You nodded allowing your arms to sneak around Wanda’s waist pulling her closer to you until you were hugging her comfortingly in your arms. Wanda let out a sob and buried her face on your neck allowing the gesture while her hole body tingled with anticipation.

“So, this means…I didn’t read wrong any of this?” You mumbled softly, “I am known for reading incorrectly into many situations, and I don’t…”

“You didn’t. But I’m not…I just…” Wanda hid herself in the crook of your neck. 

“Cool, that’s okay. Don’t worry, I can wait.” You took a deep breath wondering at what moment this outing became such a deep revelation. Having Wanda in your arms felt like heaven, and you really wished you didn’t need to let got.

“You can stay still, you know? I have a guest room and if you…agree to stay with me I will behave.”

This last part made Wanda giggled, she stepped back with her cheeks turned completely red.

“What if I tell you I may not behave myself?” She asked with a glint of mischief in her eyes, you opened and closed your mouth scratching the back of your head feeling the heat rush to your core.

“I would say, follow your heart?”

Wanda laughed leaning in to place a single kiss at the corner of your lips, you closed your eyes only to open them and find her looking at you.

“I think the guest room is okay.”

“Good, then…let’s go.”

That night as you rested on your bed, your eyes fixated on the ceiling you couldn’t stop thinking about the woman sleeping in the other room. Your heart swelled with affection, your mind replaying all that happened that day and how close you felt to Wanda. That day you had crossed one line, and if what Wanda needed it was time, you could give it to her without any issue; you had come to realize she was worth it of the wait. With a single smile on your face, you turned around and fall asleep. Tomorrow would be another day.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Next Chapter: The Yule Ball is here! There is a Winter Festval everyone is enjoying and Wanda finally learns the meaning of family. Reader is determine to win her over, and Wanda is finally done waiting. There is a kiss, and some tragedy waiting to happen.

[hollowghostsonfilm]

[Geto/Gojo Fic] Hollow: The Fracture [2/7]

Summary:

Satoru Gojo wakes up in the body of his sixteen-year-old self, 6 months before the Star Plasma Vessel mission. He's certain its a domain. Or a curse. Or a hallucination born at the moment of his death. It can't be real. Geto is alive. Shoko is there. The dorm floorboards creak at the exact right place. He has to focus, has to work out how to break out of this domain. But hope has teeth, and Gojo has been bitten. Haunted by a future that only he remembers, Gojo has to walk the knife's edge between redemption and madness. Because if this is real, he can't let it go the same way again.

Master List for previous chapters.

Link to AO3 or read below:

Satoru lays across the library floor. For an educational institution, the library is ridiculously underutilised. He’s not sure that he’s ever seen anyone in here except himself and Suguru. He should probably encourage the kids to stop reading so much manga and instead actually come in here and study, but the thought of trying to force any of them to do it sends shivers down his spine.

When they want to learn something, he’s sure they’ll work out where it is, right?

He rolls onto his side, grimacing as the edge of a book digs into his back. He’s surrounded himself with texts, trying to cross-reference as many as he can. Some of the books aren’t even in Japanese, and he’s had to scrape around in his brain for the small amount of middle school English that lurks in there, dredging it up to the surface and forcing it to make sense of the absolutely ridiculous grammar that academic English seems to have.

In many ways, the ancient Japanese is easier, at least that is somewhat more familiar.

He’s been at this for hours, pouring over each book. Suguru would probably have told him to make notes, but that’s not how his brain is set up to work. Instead, he consumes each new piece of information, filing it away, then jumping to a new source, letting it blend together to form the full picture that he’s so desperately seeking.

There’s not a lot of information that’s good on souls, he’s found. And a lot of it is religious bullshit that he doubts will be much use to him. The only topic that there seems to be even a decent chunk of research on is Tengen’s soul, and their immortality, but most of the documents are written in what Satoru can only describe as ‘poetic metaphysics’.

“The soul is the pattern. The body, its echo.”

That was great and all, but not exactly useful. Nor did it tell him something he couldn’t have worked out for himself using his brain and eyes.

He exhales hard, fingers twitching. He’s started to detect now, when his powers are about to go haywire again, and he can feel the buzzing flow that’s running through him. Where will he teleport to today? Perhaps the mountains? He can see the leaves changing colour there?

He rolls onto his back, crushing the books underneath him, counting down the seconds. It’s pointless to try to stop it. Nothing seems to be working now.

He’s worried he’s becoming dangerous to other people. If things really get out of control, what’s to stop him from firing off a Red by accident right into the centre of the school?

He scowls at the ceiling.

Then he’s not in the library anymore. Darkness consumes him, a cold permeates his bones so sharply that it paralyses him. His mouth opens and bubbles float out in front of his lips. The pressure around him threatens to overwhelm him. Salt water floods his mouth and nose, stings his eyes.

He’s been here before. The Japan Trench.

It takes him less than a second to teleport away again, back to the library, now dripping salt water all over the carpet and books, shaking from head to toe.

He clenches his fists.

This can’t go on.

♾️

“Are you avoiding me?”

She is, perhaps, the person that Satoru least wants to see. Especially when he’s still dripping salt water and he’s running late to teach his next lesson already. But Shoko blocks his path. Suguru is going to chew him out again for blowing off classes.

He tries to skirt past her, but she moves so she’s blocking him again, so instead he tries to turn on the charm.

“Now, why would I avoid my favourite doctor?”

Shoko gives him a long look, up and down. “You tell me. Satoru, you’re shaking and you look like a drowned cat.”

Satoru looks down at his hands. So they are.

Shoko takes a step closer, putting the back of her hand on his forehead. “Your cursed energy is off. I’ve never felt anything like it. What on earth…?”

Satoru shrugs. “I’m just tired. Jumped in the pool to wake myself up a bit.”

“You’re lying,” she says, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Really. I’m fine, Shoko.”

She watches him for what feels like an eternity, then she nods. “If you say so. But I know something’s going on. You don’t get to turn up in the infirmary with your intestines hanging out and no explanation then be all… weirdly fucked up like this.”

Satoru waves her off, smile fixed in place, but his shoulders don’t relax until he gets to class.

♾️

The courtyard is hushed, crossed only with the latticework of early autumn light. Fallen leaves have gathered in loose circles on the edges of the practice grounds, stirred only by the scuff of Yuuji’s sneakers as he kicks them.

Satoru leans against one of the wooden posts at the edge of the field, coffee cup in hand, the steam long since gone. He hadn’t meant to linger, but something about the light and the sound of laughter keeps him here.

Yuuji bounces on the balls of his feet, his energy barely contained, fists loose, grin spreading across his face in the sunlight. “Come on, Megumi! Show me the puppy!”

Satoru’s lips twitch upwards.

Megumi exhales through his nose, his eyes narrowing. “You’re not meant to ask for it like it’s a Pokémon.”

“Why not?” Yuuji shakes out his shoulders and then puts up his fists. “It’s cool! Come ooooon!”

The air pulses with the faintest ripple, cursed energy responding to whatever Megumi has planned. Satoru’s eyes catch it instinctively, tracing the currents as Megumi shifts. But he doesn’t summon shikigami though, instead Megumi simply sidesteps Yuuji’s wide swing, hooks his foot behind Yuuji’s knee, and sends him tumbling to the ground in one smooth, efficient motion.

Yuuji lands with a startled oof, arms flailing. Satoru snorts quietly into his mug.

Megumi doesn’t gloat, though he would have been well within his rights to do so. Instead, he just stands, with his arms crossed, chin tipped down like he’s waiting for Yuuji to say something.

Yuuji huffs, a smile slowly curving on his lips. “You usually let me win.”

“I don’t,” Megumi replies, a beat too fast, just a little too flat.

Satoru’s eyebrow raises just a little. Oh…?

This is achingly familiar, the shape of it. He remembers the rhythm of closeness and denial. He remembers being sixteen again – the first-time round that was – and the way he’d shone with potential and yet been blind to almost all else. He remembers the way Suguru used to stand behind him, just like that, arms crossed and waiting for him to say something dumb.

Back then, Satoru had mistaken that silence for certainty that nothing could ever tear them apart. Friends until the end. He hadn’t seen how close Suguru was to falling.

He won’t let it happen to these two.

Yuuji props himself up on his elbows. “Hey, Megumi?”

“…What?”

“If I turned evil… would you stop me?”

Satoru stiffens.

The question hangs there, suspended in the hush of the rustling trees, a pause for breath between question and answer. It’s too heavy, too close, too soon for them to be thinking like this.

Megumi’s eyes furrow, but he doesn’t look away. “What kind of question is that?”

“I dunno,” Yuuji lays back on the ground, shrugging. “Just thinking about… about things. You know. Sukuna talks a lot about stuff.”

Megumi steps forward, his silhouette casting a long line of shadow across Yuuji’s chest. His eyes are unreadable as he leans over.

“If you suddenly turned evil, I’d hunt you down and drag you back here myself.”

Something catches in Satoru’s chest. That kind of loyalty burns, hot and pure.

Megumi is, ultimately, a better person than Satoru. He believes that if Megumi met Yuuji, somewhere outside a KFC of all places, he’d have hauled his ass back and found a way, some way, anyway, to make everything right.

What if he’d said the right things that day, not the wrong ones? Would Suguru have heard what he’d been trying to say? Would he have answered the questions, right?

Yuuji beams up at Megumi, who just makes a scoffing noise and looks away.

Satoru focuses on his coffee mug.

Later, he sees them again, sitting on the stone steps side by side, their silhouettes softened by the fading sun. Yuuji is talking, animated, passing a half-empty bottle of Aquarius to Megumi who swigs it without thinking. Megumi listens, saying very little, but his shoulders lean in gently to Yuuji’s and that’s answer enough.

Satoru stays, hanging back, and doesn’t interrupt.

He realises he’s watching a beginning. Of a friendship or more, he’s not quite sure. But it’s something. A middle school first crush perhaps.

A second chance for these two not just him. He doesn’t know much about Yuuji and Megumi’s relationship in his future, beyond classmates and friends, but there’s something softer in Megumi here. Something that Yuuji seems to naturally be able to reach and respond to.

Satoru takes a step backwards and leaves them to it.

♾️

Tsumiki is scribbling away at the dorm kitchen table. Her spine is straight, each of her kanji as precise as lacework. The sun filters through the window, gilding her brown hair with gold. She’s entirely focused on what she’s doing, and doesn’t notice Satoru in the doorway at all.

Nanako has spilled herself across the opposite side of the table, one leg tucked under her, manga open and ignored. She’s peeling a mikan, flicking bits of peel onto the table. She’s humming something aimless; Satoru thinks he might be Koi Suru Fortune Cookie and he’s suddenly filled to the brim with nostalgia. Her bangs have gotten too long. He should take her to get her hair cut.

Satoru thinks about leaving them be, like he did Yuuji and Megumi, but then Nanako looks up at him, eyes bright for a moment before she schools her expression into one of disgust.

“Don’t just stand there watching us from the doorway you creepy uncle!”

Satoru laughs and steps into the room. “I was just listening to your singing. ‘A girl with a good personality would be nice’ is what all the boys say~”

Nanako throws the manga at him and it bounces harmlessly off Limitless as he laughs.

“You have a good voice, Satoru-san,” Tsumiki comments lightly.

“Ehhh, what are you saying? He was totally flat!” Nanako protests, staring at Tsumiki in betrayal.

Satoru just laughs, resting so that his hand is on the back of Nanako’s chair, his other hand in his pocket. “Where’s Mimiko?”

“She went to go get snacks because all we have in is fruit. You two are the worst. Buy more potato chips!” Nanako complains, tilting her head all the way back to look up at him.

“You know I would, but I’ve been banned from making the shopping list. Of course, if you wanted to make sure what you liked got back home, you could go with Suguru to help,” Satoru smiles down at her like a shark.

“Ughhhhhhhhh…” She hunches forward again, going back to her orange.

Tsumiki gives him a smile from across the table.

“You ever really want to punch someone?” Nanako asks.

Satoru looks down at her, letting Limitless just flare a little bit in case.

A tall silhouette cuts across the doorframe at that moment, and he’s saved from whatever rabid scheme Nanako has by the clean-lined familiar shape of Nanami.

“Satoru,” he greets. No honorific. Not Gojo.

Oh. He’s in trouble, isn’t he?

“Wow, you’re really committing to the salaryman aesthetic these days, huh?” Satoru tries to deflect, taking his hand off the back of Nanako’s chair to pluck at Nanami’s tie. “This doesn’t quite fit though.”

“I heard you were unstable,” Nanami replies, not rising to the bait.

The girls still at the table.

Satoru grits his teeth. Not here.

“I’m still gorgeous though!” He strikes a pose, hoping Nanami will get the hint.

“That’s debatable.”

It seems he does, because he lets the subject drop. Nanako begins to prattle immediately at Nanami, filling him in on all sorts of things that Satoru is sure she doesn’t talk about with him. He blinks as Nanako just seems to pour out all the gossip of the last two weeks at Nanami, who listens with a completely blank expression.

How does he do that?

“Kento. I didn’t expect you so soon,” Suguru walks in, arms full of shopping bags. Satoru quickly moves to intercept, taking them from him and looking through the bags hopefully.

Nanako will be disappointed by the lack of snacks.

“I came as fast as I could,” Nanami says. “Unfortunately, I was in Kumamoto and had to leave a job half-finished. It was quite the trip back.”

Satoru glances sideways at Suguru. “You called him…?”

Suguru gives him the same sideways glance. “We’re going to gang up on you later. For now, enjoy your last moments of freedom.”

Satoru grits his teeth. “Charming.”

Suguru is saved, or perhaps Satoru is, by Yuuji barrelling through the door at that moment, Megumi lurking behind him like a shadow.

“Kento-san!” Megumi actually smiles when he sees him.

Yuuji looks up at the man and tilts his head to the side. “Who are you?”

Nanami bends slightly into a bow. “Pleased to meet you. I’m Kento Nanami.”

Yuuji quickly dips into a bow as well, hands at his side as he goes through his own introduction.

Satoru watches as Nanami’s face softens a little, imperceptible to anyone who didn’t know him well. Ah, well, it seems that Nanami will always think Yuuji is worth protecting in any timeline, huh?

“You’re taller than last time,” Nanami addresses Megumi, gesturing with his to cut the air at roughly Megumi’s height.

“Stronger too. I’ve been training with Yuuji,” Megumi replies, and he moves around the table to where Nanako has her leg up on one of the chairs to push it off. She squawks and scowls at him.

Nanami’s eyes flick from Yuuji to Megumi and back again. “I see.”

Satoru watches as Nanako drags her chair away from Megumi towards Tsumiki, sticking her tongue out at him. Yuuji picks up her abandoned mikan and starts to eat it without even asking.

They’re sibling shaped, he realises. Somewhere along the way, that happened without him noticing.

Suguru nudges Satoru towards the hall. “Come on. Time to talk about Mahito.”

Satoru sighs and looks back at the table for a moment, before he lets himself be dragged away for his staged intervention.

♾️

There’s tea in their living quarters. That’s the first thing he notices. And cake.

Satoru looks at Suguru, who gives him a small smile. “Figured you might stay for your sweet tooth if nothing else.”

Nanami unbuttons his jacket as he sits down, crossing his legs and resting his hands across his knee. Satoru hates how put together he looks. Shoko, meanwhile, is chain smoking from the looks of it. The ashtray in the centre of the coffee table is already overflowing.

“What am I here for?” Satoru asks, putting his hands in his pockets. “It’s almost dinner and the kids will-“

“I’ve tasked the high schoolers with preparing a meal for them tonight. You’re not wriggling out of this,” Suguru says and he sits down on the two seater sofa opposite Nanami and Shoko and pats it for Satoru to sit down too.

He doesn’t.

“Something’s up and you won’t say what it is,” Shoko says. “I can tell something’s really wrong with you. Suguru says you’ve told him, and that’s fine, but I can’t exactly look after your health unless I know too.”

Satoru’s eyes slide to Nanami.

“I’m here for morale support,” Nanami says, voice flat.

“How wonderful,” Satoru replies in the same tone.

“You don’t have to tell them everything, Satoru,” Suguru says. “But at least assuage some of Shoko’s concerns so she stops stalking me around campus okay?”

Satoru sighs and then his shoulders slump. “Be right back.”

The notebook is where Suguru left it, and he snags it. In for a penny, in for a pound right? Suguru hadn’t wanted him to share this with Shoko before, but he suspected that was because of the reasons he’d wanted to share it. Not because it was a bad idea.

And having Suguru’s brain working on things had helped. Maybe having Shoko and Nanami’s would too…?

Or maybe it was just that now that Suguru knew, now that Megumi and Yuuji knew a bit, now that it was clear Tengen knew almost everything, it just seemed easier to let people know and form their own conclusions than keep everything back?

He steps back into the room and puts the notebook on the table. Suguru looks down at it, then back up. There’s no censure there, so perhaps he expected Satoru to do it this way.

Nanami reaches for the notebook and flips open the page. Shoko moves from her seat to stand over his shoulder. Satoru watches as their eyes scan the front page, frowns deepening on their faces.

He keeps his hands in his pockets so they can’t see them shaking, and fixes his gaze somewhere on the wall opposite.

“What is this?” Nanami’s voice is completely devoid of emotion.

“It’s what happened. If you flip through to the last pages, Suguru’s made some notes on, like, what’s going on with me right now if you want to skip ahead.”

They don’t. They read through every page.

“Suguru, you told me there was nothing to worry about,” Shoko says, sounding exasperated. “Not that he’d lost his goddamn mind.”

“I know it’s hard to believe,” Suguru defends him immediately. “But it’s true. Tengen’s confirmed it and… well… Yeah. I believe him.”

“This is…” Nanami pauses. “Concerning.”

Satoru laughs. “Yeah? I’m glad we have a word for it. I was going to go with ‘catastrophically fucked up’ but ‘concerning’ works.”

Shoko blows out a stream of smoke, seeming to finally be getting her head around it all as she finally straightens up again.

“Well, that explains why I can’t heal you I guess,” she says, throwing up her hands. “And why you’re a complete weirdo.”

“I’ve always been weird,” Satoru gives her a small smile. “So that’s not something that’s changed massively.”

Shoko chuckles.

“Who else knows?” Nanami asks, closing the notebook and setting it carefully on the table like it’s something precious.

“Suguru, you two, Tengen, and Megumi and Yuuji know pieces,” Satoru confirms. “No one else.”

“Good.”

Then Nanami leans forward. “You need to come back with me to Kumamoto.”

♾️

Satoru kind of wished he was sat around eating dinner with the kids, rather than here, with Nanami’s dour face. It’s at that moment, just before day becomes night. Sakurajima looms in the background of the city, rising tall like a vengeful god.

Nanami leads him to an abandoned mall. One of those run down places that seem to be scattered all over Japan. The tired shop fronts haven’t been updated since the Showa era, and the prices on everything are out of date. Satoru looks into one of the abandoned windows, seeing that there’s nothing much inside but dust.

“This was where the spirit escaped,” Nanami says, turning to Satoru with his arms folded. “What can you sense?”

Satoru raises his head and looks around, expanding his senses to track cursed residuals. And Nanami was right, there is something here. Something wrong. Something disjointed and fragmented. Something unusual.

“I didn’t know what it was, and I probably would have thought no more of it were it not for what you told me. But you talked about special grade spirits in that journal. Does this not feel like-“

“Ah. This is probably Jogo,” Satoru looks around. “Or it will be unless this place stops accruing energy like this.”

Nanami glances down at his watch. “Then we know what we need to look out for. We just need to narrow down where this Mahito spirit was born.”

The evening wind rolls through the arcade, lifting the dust like a sleeping beast has huffed it out. Satoru feels it coat his skin in grime, the grit beneath his shoes, the salt on the air.

Nanami’s presence is steady, reassuring, and Satoru turns to him before stretching out his senses one last time. Whatever this place is becoming, it’ll take shape soon. That means Mahito won’t be too far behind. He can feel the cursed energy starting to coagulate in the wound again.

“Let’s find Mahito before he finds us,” Satoru says softly. “And if he refuses to put me back together, well, let’s let Suguru rip him apart.”

[werezmastarbucks]

I am a teacher of English, and here's what I think it would be like to teach bts

** i don't really take their current English levels into consideration too much but base my assumptions on how I perceive their public personas. it's fun

Namjoon: the IELTS Academic Overachiever

already speaks good English but will def want to improve, because sky's the limit

the student that feels shy about their skills. he's the type of student who becomes more and more shy and grateful as he becomes better and better. thinks it's purely the teacher's accomplishment (he's wrong)

asks 'and what about you?' back every time

you end up falling in love with him

the student who does homework every time

because his homework is very cool. since he's an advanced student, you will mainly train his abstract thinking and converstational skills and will ask him to research a topic or watch a movie

will accept any grammar with gratitude; if he's already studied it, will not say and just learn it again

since he's the most comfortable with the language, will speak a lot about his interests and you will end up knowing a lot about his inner world and hobbies

'my boys,..'

will always give his full insight on a topic

uses advanced convo phrases to impress

isn't afraid to smile at all times

will not cross the professional lines

the type of student who's going to become the tutor's "i once had this awesome guy" story

seriously students like that study English purely for the sake of it and love every second of it. to them, it's about communication

perhaps will complain about Jungkook sometimes

favourite activity: speaking

Jungkook: What Was the Question?

chaotic af

will ramble about his every minute of the day and end up leaving you 15 minutes to teach

in exercises where role playing is needed, will create new personalities for himself every time

once focused, will excell at exercises, but it happens rarely

he's difficult to teach because of how easily he gets distracted, not even by the outside factors, but within the lesson

'oh, by the way...'

will be hard to assess in terms of level because he will be proficient in slang but hopeless in certain grammar, and never answer the question directly or from the first try

secretly good, but not quite at the level he would like to be, so he will hide it

fruSTRATION, may even throw a pen against the wall

will eat and drink during the lessons

eventually you will become besT GIRLFRIENDS

months later still studies without learning a lot of English because the lessons will turn into gossip / ramble sessions

will def show you new choreo because he'll want a third opinion

will nag about doing exercises

'can we just have memes today?' 'can we listen to the planets song again?'

when forgetting an English word, will use Korean-English combo

makes you laugh a lot

'what do you think about your English, Jungkook?' 'i think i am ready to teach at university'

'hey, look what i learnt' proceeds to do a magic trick

always in a good mood, even when he's in the bad mood

will bring new words to ask about: 'what is taint? i heard this word in a movie'

favourite activity: ice-breakers. can play 2 truths 1 lie for two hours straight. will ask to call yoongi to consult with him about your lie

Hobi: Oh God Help Me

will ask for feedback on EVERYTHING

will laugh at your jokes even if they aren't funny

knows he's bad at a particular segment of grammar, but not sure which one

when he doesn't understand a question, he will just freeze and look at you

will feel bad for making you wait while he's thinking of the word

will need a lot of encouragement and praise and will accept it sweetly

if you tell him that he's doing well, he will believe for like an hour and then will start worrying again

will do all homework by hand and send pictures of the notebook pages

will study in a dark room with a bright ass lamp 3mm from his face

has little comfort songs to sing to himself

always has a life story related to a picture or question at the lesson, and will try to tell it, with little success

you will 100% end up having dreams about Hobi's progress, i know i would

probably will have the wrong mindset; overly critical of himself because he doesn't understand the process of memorization and value of relaxation. which is ironic because he is a teacher himself, but do not let it fool you because body and brain work in different ways

the type of student that all teachers adore and genuinely sympathize with

because he's not the kind to understand that making mistakes is encouraged

when at his best, will make the lessons amazing to be at, his radiance is very comforting

face in hands, groaning at least twice a lesson

in attempts to make him feel good about his efforts, you will probably make pacts, challenges and will have little secrets so the others will be jealous because he's 'special'

favourite activity: fill the gap. highly controlled, instant answer reveal, less stress

Yoongi: I'd Rather Be Doing Anything Else Right Now

moody, then happy, then closed up, then happy again

the period of adjustment will be long and painful because of his mood swings

understanding

regardless of that, you will have the impulse to make lessons extra interesting for him because he will probably have low engagement. will make you insecure about the lessons. doesn't mean it, it's just the resting bitch face

gets everything from exactly second try, and never forgets after

the type of student to ask 'why do you need to know about my weekend'

'can we skip this? do i have to do this?'

'did you do your homework?' '...i had homework?'

will fidget with things on his desk while speaking

long detailed answer? never heard of her. lots of additional questions to make him speak for a minute

even though he probably will never do a single homework, will be very diligent if present and understand tasks immediately

'so what do you think about Pedro?' 'i think Pedro is dumb as fuck'

will give the standard answers to questions, yes no guy, but once he finally snaps into trust, will start laughing more. still short answers

turns out to understand the grammar concepts better than expected, but refuses to learn vocabulary

'god made me lazy... because if i... if i try harder, i will be the best'

except will show advanced knowledge of vocabulary specific to his field of work

‘did you change your hair?’

completely zones out while listening to the theory

intense staring, no blinking

god forbid you have lessons in the morning

after every lesson you keep asking yourself if yoongi hates you

yoongi will be the one who’s going to give you all the tea about other members

will not react to praise. doesn't give a shit about praise

secretly in love with you, you will never know

thinks outside the box

favourite activity: grammar drilling. no speaking involved

Jin: the Diva

cancels lessons if he feels like he's about to have headache maybe possibly

snaps from serious to completely goofy in seconds

good at mimicking speech but doesn't really understand what he's saying

'wait, you're telling me he is YOUNG COOK??'

good at listening, bad at everything else

but super charismatic; you will have to keep a very strict and structured program in mind not to get distracted by the pure fun he brings to the table

surprisingly good at remembering what you did at the last lesson

'what do you think about it?' 'honestly I don't really care'

'English is second most spoken language in the world, it's a universal tool for communication, English is vital in today's world' - 'oh, is it?'

Jinglish will become a thing

likes to go on long philosophical rants with 56 mistakes in one sentence; doesn't care about being corrected, barely hears corrections anyway

'tell me something about yourself' 'cracks knuckles'

his not knowing the vocabulary will not stop him

this will actually advance him to the moon as he doesn't have the language barrier in his brain

will substitute words with sounds and reenactments

will not care whether you live or die

'how are you today Seokjin?' 'fabulous'

chooses not to be introverted during lessons if he likes you. he MUST like you. otherwise there will be no studying

'I know I suck at this' will not feel bad when you facepalm

profound

'teacher, how come you don’t know X? Aaaaaaaahhh'

he decides when the lesson is over, you'll have to fight for control with him

favourite activity: interview-style speaking exercises.

Jimin: Chill Guy

the most comfortable person you've ever taught

looks illegaly good on the cheapest camera, super sweet

will remember and congratulate you on Teacher’s Day

will have you thinking you have a crush on him

can be very goofy but just does it with elegance

shy about his achievements and will not speak a lot about himself

will definitely have some very specified interest you didn’t expect him to have, like botanics or antique porcelain dolls

messes up phonetics, the correct sounds just don't stick

super polite, will try to do your job and create comfortable atmosphere at the lesson, at the expense of efficiency

if you promised him to do something fun next lesson, he will not forget it

if you have a movie lesson or just a speaking club, he will boast about it to others

will be the one to keep the score among all of them, ranking each member in terms of progress

jimin will not advance very quickly but he will enjoy the process of learning, and will be very involved

will study when sick

will try to always maintain good mood; complains reluctantly, so you have to be very perceptive with him

likes speaking abstract concepts and future

hardworking but just doesn’t quite grasp it intuitively. unlike hobi, doesn’t stress about it

will cling on a funny word and repeat it a thousand times

will wear clothes with English phrases just to point at them happily

favourite activity: online interactive games. likes the sound effects and getting points

Taehyung: Did I Stutter?

hard to connect at first

and after a while, too; very reserved, will seem unwilling. but whereas yoongi might come off as lazy, tae will seem hostile

hates to be corrected

will happily correct you if you happen to make a mistake

polite but just very hands-to-himself type of student

cracking him will be a chore but once you succeed, he will allow his weird to show

thinks 10km away from the box

will gladly discuss philosophical dilemmas even with his somewhat restricted vocabulary only to let you know he will run over all the people on the train track

reserved about his struggles; at the end of the lesson, when you ask him if he has questions, he always says no

'do you have any comments?' always yes

sharp and dry sense of humor

will show you his pet on camera almost every time

in fact, correcting him is almost pointless; he knows about his weak spots and works on them methodically

will advance the fastest out of all seven, almost as if he's been hiding skills from you on purpose

irritable but cools down quickly

every movie you mention, he has seen

'actually,..'

regular amazing angles of his jaw and hair on his face. model shots

'why are you learning English?' 'management made me'

you doubt he remembers your name after weeks of classes

taehyung would be the most nerve-wrecking kind of student, the type you're kind of unwilling to start a lesson with, and wish you were friends instead; he has intriguing personality but you constantly feel like you need to earn his attention

favourite activity: testing your limits. eating your stress. enjoying his superiority

conclusion:

easiest to connect: Namjoon, Jungkook

hardest to connect: Taehyung, Yoongi

needs to learn how to study: Hobi, Jimin, Jin

advances the fastest, fuck knows how: Taehyung

stays exactly on the same level a year later: Jin

the most draining: Yoongi, Taehyung

made you cry at least once: Taehyung

the most rewarding: Namjoon, Jimin

likely to stay your friend after the studies are over: Jungkook, Yoongi

most popular among your fellow tutors: Jimin

[rigelmejo]

I like Automatic Labguage Growth schools like the Thai school, and Dreaming Spanish, because they focus on a lot of comprehensible input lessons for beginner to intermediate learners. I think comprehensible input lessons are great!

They use pictures and gestures to make a language understabdable ENTIRELY in the language, so a student can learn entirely IN their target language (also why I love Nature Method textbooks). CI lessons are apso great if you have students with a variety of native languages, for example ESL classes. At the volunteer center I worked at, we exclusively did Comprhensible Input lessons until people could have full conversations in English, because explanations in English ftom the english speaking teachers were not useful until the students knew enough English. CI lessons worked well, we had speakers of 72 languages in the classes and it ensured everyone could understand lessons.

I also more or less agree that Krashen's comprehensible input hypothesis makes sense. The CI hypothesis was that when we learn through explanations like grammar books, we learn ABOUT the language, but we don't internalize the language. We internalize the language with many experiences in the language where we understand what's going on (comprehensible input). Which if you've learned a language... yeah... you can learn how to greet someone by memorizing in a book, but it won't become automatic until you've walked into class or a grocery store and been greeted in the target language - after a few times of that comprehensible input (understanding youre being greeted) you'll automatically be able to greet using those words in the language. Apply that to everything you do in a language: you might memorize a word list, but you won't acquire it (automatically understand and be able to use those words) until you've read them in a lot of reading material, or heard them in a lot of listening material or shows, in multiple situations you understand. This makes sense based on our experiences in our native language. We can look up "melancholic" at age 8 and learn the definition, but we'll need to read it several more times or hear people say it several more times to feel confident in what it means immediately when we encounter it and to use it ourselves.

As you can see, the input hypothesis includes room for translations and explanations if you want to use them. So a textbook maker could take the input hypothesis, and create an interesting graded reader for students to read alongside it and reinforce the word lists and explanations in the textbook with LOTS of comprehensible input. Students can learn ABOUT language with explanations (which can help make more experiences in the language comprehensible), then they learn to USE/UNDERSTAND the language with comprehensible input.

Many regular "learning to read" programs took this idea and ran with it: providing lots of reading material for readers at 98% comprehension for them is a strategy to improve reading level. Because at 98% (lowest being 90-95% depending on the study) comprehension of words, its very easy to guess the meaning of the remaining words from context, and then repeated context you understand (comprehensible input) internalizes those words, and then the level of what you can read goes up. I remember learning to read in my native language and yeah that's pretty much what happened. I learned to read in French and Chinese and yeah, that's what happened in my learning to read progression.

At the early stages of learning to read, teachers provide vocabulary lists for class, and assigned reading with word definitions (look at any textbook for any subject and see history, science, math, literature reading assignment definitions etc). At the early stages of French and Chinese I looked a LOT of words up to make reading material more comprehensible, then learned words fully by reading them in contexts I understood a LOT. That's also what happened in my native language English, I looked up definitions of stuff in school, and read assignments to learn the words fully, and in my free time read gradually more and more difficult books that were all likely ~95-98% comprehensible to me. As you know more words, what's comprehensible percentage wise goes up, and you can learn MORE stuff directly from context, and repetition in context, so you no longer need to use dictionaries and explanations (unless you choose - which many people keep doing sometimes, into adulthood).

So yeah, to me Krashen's comprehensible input hypothesis is easily compatible with how we learn our native languages, and all the languages we will study. The role of explicit study to Krashen, was either to make more experiences comprehensible (so we can fully learn the words in many comprehensible experience's context), or to build an internal monitor. Our internal monitor would help us answer tests, and check our own production skills.

Which again, matches fine with how we learn our native language. We LEARN spelling, we LEARN grammar in school. We know most of it before we get to school, but learning to perfect our grammar is a 10+ year effort in school - every time a teacher marks us down and corrects our spelling or grammar in an essay. According to the comprehensible input hypothesis, we dont truly become able to "naturally" use the grammar we struggle with until we have encountered it enough in context we understand, so extensive reading helps with grammar production (and explicit study to NOTICE the grammar, and understand what it's doing if we had previously thought it meant something else). But until we can naturally acquire grammar to the degree of producing it correctly, our internal monitor (built from years of school grammar and teachers correcting our essays) kicks in and can help us identify mistakes we made in our own writing. Or speaking (although we tend to make less mistakes in speaking since we don't have to spell as we speak, or use grammar punctuation marks, and written grammar has some additional challenges that dont come up in speaking).

So krashen's hypothesis, to me, seems compatible with how we learn all languages. It also explains why many people can become B2 and C1 speakers of languages they have explicitly sudied - their explicit study made more situations in the language more comprehensible, and then all that comprehensible input in the language understanding things in context helped them acquire the language, and they became able to use it to a high level. We know many classroom learners, who use translations and grammar explanations, learn languages to the B2 and C1+ levels. We know because every year people pass tests to prove it, they get jobs or go to college where they have yo speak the language daily in a variety of situations where they must be capable in using that language, and they succeed. I went to college with tons of people who learned English in school as children, through explicit teaching methods translation and explanations, who were doing fine in college classes entirely in English, in jobs entirely in English, in going clubbing and doing the fun stuff they wanted to do, in getting apartments and buying cars and paying bills in English.

ALG is not equivalent to Krashen's hypothesis. It's based on Brown's personal experiences. He thought people should learn entirely in the target language (which hey, I agree is a nice path to take, as extensive reading works similarly and works great for people in all languages for improving language skills) so he wanted entirely Comprehensible Input Lessons for students. He wanted students to avoid speaking for 1000+ hours, to produce a more natural pronunciation and to avoid making long term pronunciation mistakes based on the mistakes one could make as a beginner. He also advised not reading for around as long, to avoid mental pronunciations that could be wrong, so waiting to read until your listening skills and grasp of pronunciation sounds was solid. So it's an extreme position - nothing but watching and listening to Comprehensible Input Lessons (or comprehensible input Crosstalk lessons) until 1000+ hours. Then start speaking, and reading, and writing, once output feels natural. Brown believed "permanent damage" results if we explicitly study things such as look at translations and explanations, or even just think about the language analytically as we learn like trying to identify what's a noun or guess translations mentally, and read before we have a good mental model of the language's sounds. He felt this permanent damage would prevent us from ever reaching native speaker like level in a language. It creates a "ceiling" where learners will keep making fossilized mistakes caused from that permanent damage. He based this on his own ability in languages he learned and how when he "analyzed" a language he studied, he never was able to achieve as good of a level in that language, and continued making certain permanent errors.

I do not agree with some key points of ALG. Since ALG is just a theory Marvin Brown, 1 language teacher, had. It's not like his theory necessarily applies to anyone but his own lived experience. And possibly the ALG Thai school he ran, and for the students who followed ALG directions without deviating (and many do additional things, don't follow ALG precisely).

I think if there is "permanent damage" most people don't need to care. Many examples exist of people who reached B2 and C1 in languages, who did many things that Brown believes result in "permanent damage." So any damage does not seem to prevent you from reaching the highest standardized level of competence in a given language, any possible damage will not prevent you from becoming able to live and work successfully in a languahe. Including Brown as an example. He learned Thai, somewhat with methods he believed later caused "permanent damage." Despite this his Thai became good enough to work AS A LANGUAGE TEACHER so a very high level of competence in Thai, and to run a Thai Teaching School. His level of language ability allowed him to work and live in Thailand successfully and easily. Any permanent damage is only a major concern for the super picky perfectionists, like Brown the language teacher who likely aspired to be perfect at it. For the average person? If their goals are to live and work and go to school in a language, then any potential "permanent damage" will not stop them from reaching their goals.

I just do not think the things ALG says to avoid, actually matter all that much. Yes, I think waiting to speak and waiting to read COULD possibly produce better pronunciation in the long run. Yes, I think learning directly IN only the target language works (after all, I know extensive reading works, I know comprehensible input works, of course CI lessons work). So I think it's fine to go the ALG route if that gets you to learn, if it's the route you can stick with. It will work, to get you to your language goals, if you stick with it. Just check reddit.com/r/dreamingspanish to see all the success. (And all the success for people who did not follow ALG to the letter, as many people on r/dreamingspanish DID keep analyzing the language, keep taking explicit instruction courses, read early etc - and also had success).

My big issue with ALG is 1. It hasn't been tested much. ALG thai school and Dreaming Spanish are the only big pools of anecdotal experiences shared. And many of the students do NOT follow ALG to the letter, so many of the experiences shared confirm if Comprehensible Input lessons entirely IN the target language work (they do) and if they can get a student to B2 fluency (which it appears they can, when combined with adequate reading, and some speaking practice).

2. ALG is REALLY AGAINST any explicit instruction at any point. I think this is weird, and deviates from how children DO learn their native language. I see no reason why after 1500-2000 hours an ALG learner can't read or listen to grammar explanations IN THE TARGET LANGUAGE. Or talk to a tutor in the target language, and have the tutor grade their essays and mention any errors. We had all of that feedback in our native language. Why wouldn't we eventually want it in the target language, once our listening skills are that of a 10 year old native speaker? Native speakers receive grammar corrections, develop that "inner monitor" and it helps them correct their own mistakes until they've extensively read enough (or just done the situation enough in contexts they understood) that they've internalized the correct grammar point to use in writing/correct spelling. ALG basically avoids explicit instruction like the plague, and suggests to learners to just read or listen more. Which yes, does comply with Krashen's input hypothesis about how they'll eventually internalize the ability to use those language elements. But native speakers get corrections from teachers which "make" them understand what mistake they were doing sooner, and understanding will then make it more comprehensible in the future, making the student recognize and pick up that grammar point/spelling SOONER.

If an ALG student is blindly misunderstanding too/two/to for 4 years, before anyone mentions they are, couldn't that also cause "permanent damage"? Aka a mistake they keep making and fossilize, because for so long they'd been assuming too and to were the same word, they'd now have to unlearn that assumption and correct it with more exposure to it in contexts they understand (comprehensible input) now that they Correctly understand the words. Now we get to the issue of ALG believes there is no undoing/fixing "permanent damage."

Basically I think it's ridiculous to avoid explicit study IN THE TARGET LANGUAGE once you can competently listen and understand as well as 10-15 year old native speakers. I think at that point, explicit study will either HELP you as much as it helps native speaker kids, or at the least it wont cause any more "damage" than native speakers must get somehow in their normal course of schooling. To learn "like native speakers do" is to include explicit study eventually, in my opinion. It's ridiculous to pretend children dont ever get explicit instruction when they get YEARS of it.

(There's also the Output hypothesis in language learning. Which goes fine with Krashen's theory. We are corrected when speaking, or even just notice the other speaker is talking differently than us, and adjust our future speech to mirror the correct output. We practice outputting, and if the other person responds and successfully understood us then we internalize that understandable output and keep doing it. If the listener fails to understand us, we adjust our output in the hopes they will understand the adjustment - and we may base our adjustment on feedback they give us. Everyone who does Dreaming Spanish who ever talks to a tutor, language exchange, or just OTHER people is doing this. Because all speaking to other people, and then adjusting to be more easily understood, is compatible with the Output hypothesis. So even with ALG being entirely against explicit explanations, there is some "feedback" all people WILL GET when speaking with others, which will improve their output abilities over time. So even ALG speakers, as far as I can tell, eventually get some of the feedback that helps native speakers improve their own output as they grow up - simply talking with others).

So yeah. ALG has not been tested much. There's very few cases of people who really stuck with ALG theory from start to finish, although I love reading the experiences of those that do. From all other successful language learners, its clear that if "permanent damage" is real (and it might not be) then it doesn't prevent any learners from becoming competent for all ordinary life purposes in a language.

I dont think for normal purposes there's a reason a learner should strictly do ALG, over any other program. Do ALG if it's the program you can get yourself to stick with, or to test its claims as that's always interesting (to me anyway). But don't be afraid to study some other way.

As far as I can tell, many routes lead to the same achievement of "can do all things you want in the language."

[chunkymamatam]

Do you have magic in your twst dr? What is class like? :D

I didn't think so at first but then I remembered I do witchcraft here and I was like "Hold on what if I.. Do what I do in my original reality. Will it physically manifest itself??" It did lmfao

Anyway lol Classes aren't too hard but I catch on really quickly in a learning environment. NRC is actually relatively accommodating you just gotta tell them what's going on and what you need. Obviously it might not be the same in your DR and it also varies from teacher to teacher.

We have our regular core classes that we also have a version of in this reality

English (Its called something different this is just for simplicities sake)

No magic required

Consists of refresher lessons for grammar, broadening your vocabulary, and improving sentence structure. We do a lot of reading analysis of classic texts, new age novels, and everything in between. It's a really well rounded curriculum as of right now. I really enjoy picking apart stories though.

We also have done research into the creator of these stories and were tasked at picking out where the writers personal views would really be showcased in text as well as how accurately they portrayed other view points/groups of people apart from their own vs if they had demonized/stereotyped said certain views/groups of people. There was more to it but yeah, it really was a full analysis.

For me personally this is a really easy class. They also allow you to do what you need to do if you have a disability that affects your reading and comprehension. You just have to let they know that's what you're doing/the accommodations you need (a space outside the possibly noisy environment of the class, audio books, etc). It's really a matter of communication.

Difficulty?: 2/5

Magic History/ World History

No magic required

Consists of the history of magic, where it comes from, why only some people can use it, and blot(eventually lol). Basically everything magic except actually doing it. And I quote,

"how can you properly respect the power you hold if you know nothing about it? Besides Mr. Trappola that is what your spell casting class is for"

We also learn the stories of the seven and the countries that are in Wonderland. There are obviously differences from our version of the stories. There's actually a lot of racial history involved as well but not in the way that we know it(obviously). Actually I explained to the Diasomnia and Octanivelle guys what our racism looks like and they thought that shit was so stupid. Back on track tho, It more so has to do with the different species rather than skin color.

Of course there's in fighting and discrimination but the most prevalent problems come from the fighting of different species (beast men, merfolk, humans, etc). We touch up on all of that in this class.

Again keep in mind this is probably gonna be different for your DR. For me this was another really easy class but that could be because I had to teach myself history classes all throughout my schooling and find history really interesting lmfao

Same deal with the accommodations for any disabilities

difficulty: 1/5

Physical Education/Broom riding lessons (Yes. This is a core class that you have to take in my DR)

Magic required some if not most times

Now in the beginning I had my own little thing I would do cuz we didn't know I could actually use magic. I would just walk/run a few laps around the track and field if we needed magic that day (Broom riding and spell drive). This also double as a health class. We learn the benefits of certain exercises, what a balanced diet looks like and how to maintain our health. It wasn't focused on weight so that was really nice for me personally. It focused on having a nice balance of healthy and unhealthy choices. But in a not shamy more scientific way.

Idk I liked it tho. Now when we figured out I could use magic, coach Vargas was like "Great now you have a lot of catching up to do, lets start with..." and I had to do so much work lmfao. It started with actually being able to get the damn broom off the ground and my balance. After that it was really just trying to get me passed my fear of heights and speed adjustments. There's also managing magic consumption but like its fine. Unfortunately I haven't gotten to play Spell Drive yet. One day lol

No as for accommodations, I can't sweat and Vargas was actually really cool with me having to take frequent breaks so I don't have a seizure/heat stroke.

I was like "Hey so I have seizures and I don't sweat. Overheating is a big trigger so is it cool if I just step to the side when I need to?"

And all he said was "Yeah I don't care if you do that, just please don't die on my field please" LMFAO

Difficulty: 3/5

That's all I really have the energy to type down rn just tell me if you want more explanations of my classes.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Free or Cheap German Learning Resources for all your Hochdeutsch Needs

I will update this list as I learn of any more useful ones. If you want general language learning resources check out this other post. This list is German specific. Find lists for other specific languages here.

For the purposes of this list "free" means something that is either totally free or has a useful free tier. "Cheap" is a subscription under $10USD a month, a software license or lifetime membership purchase under $100USD, or a book under $30USD. If you want to suggest something to add to this list, include things in this price range that are of good quality and not AI generated.

WEBSITES

DW - A public broadcasting service from Germany that also has a German learning section. They have videos, tv series, and lessons from beginner to advanced. The website is free to use with an account.

Gothe Institut - An organization affiliated with the German government that administers language level tests and promotes German culture abroad. They have a lot of free exercises and test questions. If you're willing to pay they may also have classes available in your region.

thegermanproject.com - A free website with explanations of beginner German concepts and stories to read for people at the beginner level.

germancorrector.com - A free website that will correct your spelling and grammar. You can also set the dialect to Switzerland or Austria.

Your Daily German - A blog in English by a native German speaker named Emanuel who makes posts about grammar, vocabulary, tips, and suggestions for reading.

YOUTUBE CHANNELS

Comprehensible Germani - A comprehensible input channel with German lessons in German using visual aids. Has content from beginner through upper intermediate.

Learn German - A channel that explains certain concepts and provides listening practice. The channel uses a mix of German and English.

Chill German - A channel that makes vlogs in slow German. They have videos from beginner to lower advanced levels.

Natürlich German - A comprehensible input channel that talks about different aspects of German culture and other topics as well. Has videos for complete beginner to lower advanced. This channel hasn't updated in a while but there's a large archive to watch through.

Easy German - A channel that has a combination of videos about basic German phrases for beginners and videos with interviews on the street in German speaking regions. The channel has dual language German/English subtitles on screen. The hosts of this channel also have a podcast for intermediate to advanced learners.

Expertly German - A channel about learning German with discussion of grammar, vocab, and business German. The channel is entirely in German.

Deutsch Mit Lari - A channel with a mix of German Lessons and vlogs in slow German. Content ranges from beginner to intermediate. All content and explanations are in German.

Learn German With Anja - A channel with a mix of lessons and videos on culture and living in Germany. Videos are in a mix of both English and German and often have dual language subtitles on screen.

READING PRACTICE

German graded readers by Olly Richards Short Stories in German, Intermediate Short Stories in German, Conversations in Simple German, Western Philosophy in Simple German, World War 2 in Simple German. Books tend to range from $4-$20 depending if you buy the digital or print versions. The books can also generally be found easily at used book stores or used on Amazon for cheaper.

Dino Lernt Deutsch - A series of short stories for beginners about a man named Dino lost in various German speaking countries. The full series new in print costs about $25 but it can be bought used or as a digital edition. Each individual story can also be bought separately

Nachrichtenleight - A website with news articles in simple German. The website is entirely in German.

AlumniPortal - Website with articles about business, academics, and other related topics organized by difficulty level. Has articles from upper beginner to upper intermediate. The website is entirely in German.

Grimm Stories - A website with an archive of the original Grimm's fairy tales. Language may be a bit archaic. The website is available in multiple languages.

PODCASTS

Slow German Podcast - Advertises itself as being for beginner to lower intermediate. The host talks about everyday topics such as seasonal weather and describing your apartment.

Easy German Podcast - The hosts from the Easy German Youtube channel talk about different topics, news, and answer questions from listeners in clear and understandable German.

News in Slow German - It is a podcast with news in slow German, including international news and culture news. Only a small section of the program is available for free.

Top-Thema Mit Vokalbeln - A podcast from DW for lower intermediate learners that discusses news topics in simple German and provides vocabulary lists related to the episode topic.

German Stories - A podcast for beginners in a mix of English and German that gives lessons through dialogues and short stories.

Speaking of Berlin - A podcast by Babbel of Berliners telling personal stories in slow German.

SELF STUDY TEXTBOOKS AND DICTIONARIES

Complete German All-in-One from McGraw Hill - a textbook that also doubles as a workbook. It’s more expensive at about $30. It’s difficult to find intact used copies of this book because it’s also a workbook and people tend to write all over it and tear it up. However the sentence builder and grammar sections are sold separately for much cheaper if you just want one or the other.

German Made Easy - Individual books in this series tend to be about $10-$20. From what I’ve read it’s just fine but it’s cheap and has all the beginner concepts you need and used copies are fairly easy to find online.

Easy German Step By Step - This is McGraw Hill’s budget option at $12-$16 new. Though as this one isn’t a workbook, it’s easier to find used copies. It focuses hard on only the most frequently used vocabulary and grammar concepts to get someone started as quickly as possible. It’s also available in audiobook form.

German Grammar Complete - This book is a full comprehensive guide to all levels of grammar from absolute beginner to college level. However it’s on the more expensive side at $30 and the workbook is sold separately.

DK German to English illustrated dictionary - This dictionary is sorted by topic and includes pictures and English translations. This is a new edition and is slightly harder to find used as I’m writing this. The base price is about $20 but there are older editions of this dictionary that might be easier to find used.

Merriam-Webster’s German to English Dictionary - The OG. The legend. The menace. The classic bilingual dictionary. Simple. Many words. Decent explainations. Only $8 new. Easy to find used older editions.

SERIES FOR LEARNERS AND KIDS TV

Hallo Aus Berlin - A series infamous among German students everywhere. Made in the early 2000s for use in classrooms, it has ten episodes of kids talking about certain topics like numbers and going out to a restaurant. It also has a number of songs. It’s cringey but in a fun way in my opinion.

Löwenzahn - a kids tv series aimed at very young audiences that’s been on for several decades. Every episode discusses one topic like bridges or factories so you’ll hear certain words repeated a lot. Theres only been a couple of different hosts so the presentation style remains consistent and unlike some other shows for kindergarteners it’s not obnoxiously loud and can be enjoyable for adults.

Sesamstraße - Sesame Street in German and localized for the German market with different themes and characters. In their YouTube channel you can find clips from as far back as the 1970s.

[beauty-and-passion]

Beau!! Hello! How have you been?

My dearest! I'm sorry for taking this long to reply, but things happened, which means one thing and one thing only: time for a life update post. This time, with healthy tips included ✨

_________________

Sleep is for the weak (and the not-weak)

Last week my mother had knee surgery. She had to do it something like 5 years ago, but hey, better late than never.

The problem wasn't the surgery per se: that went well and she's currently in a clinic for a rehabilitation period, so she can be followed by professionals.

The real problem arose right after the surgery: for the first three days, she was supposed to recover, sleep and start working out asap. But she couldn't do shit, because her roommate was an older lady, who:

had just recovered from Covid but was still suffering from heavy coughs

had dementia and talked by herself all the time

was half-deaf

And that means every goddamn night, that lady kept coughing, snoring and talking. For the entire night non-stop. Loudly.

My mother spent three days without being able to sleep. She managed to get 3/4 hours of sleep in total. With a throbbing, constant pain in the knee because of the surgery.

She asked to be moved elsewhere since day one, but no other room was available. She waited for three days, protesting and crying, until the doctors finally managed to find another room and moved her in immediately.

Now she's still suffering from the pain, but at least she can get some sleep. And the sleep did wonders already: she can bend her knee some more, stand up longer, and do more exercises at the gym. So the moral of the story is that if sleep is important for a healthy person, it becomes essential after such an invasive surgery - and even more if you're stuck in a bed because you can't go anywhere else.

_________________

There is never enough time

This year I finally entered the list of teachers in my area. Thanks to my degree (and the course I followed), I have been able to apply for two positions: German teacher and/or special educator. However, I am also working on getting enough credits to apply for English soon because... well, it's the language I use daily. Even now.

English aside, I know there are a ton of people on that list, so I didn't expect to get a call very soon. And yet, I got one last week and it was for German! Hence why, now (and for a month) I will replace a German teacher in two different schools.

I made something like 6 lessons for now and immediately learned a lot of things, like:

Every student has a different vibe: there's the 16yo who is overexcited, the 17yo who is full of personality and the 18yo who is interesting on a human level. There's the aloof student, the one who wants to learn and the one who looks at you with the happiness of a dead fish.

Speaking of grammar, I don't remember shit about German. Hence why my first "teaching days" have been a race against time of me trying to summarize all the rules of the German language on slides. Imagine putting down all the rules of a language on slides. Now imagine doing it in 3 days, with the nagging fear of "what I will say to the kids next week" and a mother who is constantly crying because she cannot sleep. The word "stress" doesn't convey enough of what I experienced, I was on a tightrope.

There is never enough time. I barely entered the school and immediately found out there are councils to attend and tests to do and students need grades and I should plan them too - but I should prepare the lessons as well and 24 hours are not enough for all this shit.

My need to get everything under control is becoming even more compulsive than usual: every free moment is made of planning, planning and more planning. And yes, that's the reason why I disappeared from Tumblr and from life in general. Only now I am slowly trying to get some of my life back, because after that huge peak of stress, I really need to relax a bit and do something for me and me only - like writing.

_________________

Being healthy can be fun

I've always had symptoms of gastrointestinal reflux, like stomach pains, slow digestion, late meals and being a fast eater in general. And, of course, a goddamn cough that keeps tormenting me for the entire winter, only to magically disappear as soon as spring comes.

Hence why last year I finally went to a gastroenterologist. He too thought I had all the symptoms, but I needed some medical checks to be sure.

Also, since I was bloated and overweight, he told me to follow the typical diet of someone with reflux. Which means:

No milk and dairy products (except very aged cheese), no red meat (i.e. beef, pig), no seafood, no bread, no pasta, no cookies/sweets, no legumes, no fruit (only apples, bananas and kiwis allowed), no drinks except for water, no fried stuff and no spicy/too seasoned stuff

Yes to white meat (poultry, rabbit), fish, vegetables, gluten-free pasta, rusks, eggs

That meant changing A LOT of things. Before that diet, I was eating healthy stuff overall, but I was also eating milk, dairy products, bread, pizza once a week, legumes and a ton of fruits with seeds. Heck, my breakfast was cookies and milk only, every day. Two of the things I couldn't eat anymore.

But hey, the doctor said it, so I followed his advice: I came back home, ate the last piece of my leftover pizza for dinner and gave all the stuff I couldn't eat to my mother. Then I went shopping the day after and got all the "allowed" foods.

I have been following this diet for one year and a half by now. And if the first day I was asking myself "will it work" and "what the heck can I eat", now this is how I live. And a lot of things changed.

First, my breakfast was boring and repetitive. Now I have a ton of options: any kind of vegetable milk, from oat to almond. But also soy yogurt, hummus, rusks, overnight porridge, fresh fruit, almonds and walnuts with honey, aged cheese, prosciutto, bresaola or eggs with vegetables. And always a cup of herbal tea.

Herbal teas are a blessing: almost no calories, but fill up nicely. And I can make them with stuff that grows in my garden, like laurel or mint leaves. Even apple peels are great!

I didn't always eat vegetables before. Now vegetables are on my table 24/7: as a salad, with couscous, with rice, with gluten-free pasta, in a soup, with eggs, together or by themselves.

Vegetables fill you up WAY more than junk foods, for less calories and for a longer time. That means I always eat a full plate of vegetables (sometimes even two plates) and be full for hours, while still losing weight.

Before, I ate too much processed food. It looked healthy (like premade rice, fishsticks, frozen minestrone and so on), but it was not. It never is. That's what made me gain so much weight and I realize it now.

I rediscovered the pleasure of cooking my own meals. Now I cook once a day (for dinner only) and double the amount, so I have the next day's lunch ready. And still, it doesn't take a lot of time: the stove or the oven does most of the job, all I do is cut stuff with a mandoline slicer and put it on a pot/on a pyrex. Also, it's cheaper than premade foods: if I buy the raw ingredients, I spend less money and can make more meals.

Before, my meals were too complicated and I used too many ingredients. Now my meals are much simpler - and that's not just great for my digestive system, but for me too, because I can enjoy the single ingredients more. Also, it takes less time to cook.

In conclusion: what I feared would've been an oppressive regime with limited choices was instead a way for me to discover foods I would've never eaten otherwise. Brussel sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, rice cakes, oatmeal, hummus and Greek yogurt: those are all part of my life now and oh boy, how delicious they are.

In addition to the new diet, I also added a more serious exercise regimen. I am too lazy to go to a gym and I hate having people around, so I brought a yoga mat, put the gym clothes in the same spot and set on a daily alarm. Also, searched for different apps to guide me throughout the exercises and make a training session in my place.

I started with 20-min yoga sessions almost every day. Then added more beginner's training. Then tried tabata, moved to HIIT, then pilates. I just kept raising the bar and made my sessions last longer, until it became a routine. And now my routine includes:

20 min HIIT training (I switch focus between cardio, abs and core, lower and upper body)

20 min pilates

20 min yoga

I follow it 3 to 5 times a week, but I also walk more, use the bicycle and take the stairs. This alone would be pointless, if I am not as active as possible the rest of the day.

The result? I am 153 cm (5ft) tall and before I started this new regime, I weighed 64 kg (141 lb). Now I weigh 46kg (101 lb). I lost 18 kg in total and it has been a constant, slow change. At first 2 kilos every month, then one, sometimes not even one.

And during all this time, I never had huge expectations. I didn't even step on the scale for a long time. I just kept following the diet and doing sport and enjoying it. My only goal was to not get the winter cough.

I didn't even notice real changes, until after a while. They came all together and one day, all my pants were too loose and clothes that were too tight before now fit me perfectly.

And now I still keep that chill attitude: I plan my meals at the beginning of every month, so I can be sure of what to eat every day (also, it makes me happy to know what tasty meal will wait for me). I keep doing my exercises, because they help me relax (especially in these last stressful days).

And yes, once in a while, I get a treat not included in my diet. I mean, a diet is supposed to be what you habitually eat, not a temporary thing: it's only fair there may be things you're not supposed to eat too - like sweet treats, seafood, some dairy stuff or a pizza. What matters is that I can control myself, so I know that I get this treat now, but the rest of the time I will stick to my diet.

And, honestly, most of the time I don't even crave these things. I can eat just some and be okay. I am far from starving, after all, especially if I get some nice food, like today's meal: basmati rice with peas, Brussels sprouts, zucchini and pepperoni for a total of 500 grams aka 2 full plates. As I said, starving is out of question :P

So the moral of the story is:

If you're trying to lose weight and you're doing everything right but still don't lose it, seek medical help. I had no idea what I was doing wrong, until I checked with an expert.

If you get a diet, stick with it religiously, especially at the beginning. Ran from all temptations, because they can be very strong - especially at the beginning. Then you can come back and face them, when you will be in control.

Do some sport, especially yoga. It doesn't just help you lose weight, but clears your mind and makes you feel better. And don't push yourself too much: you're supposed to do it more times a week, so just start slowly and build resistance. It's better to do a little every day, than give your full self one day and recover the next 2 weeks because you're too sore. Once you will get enough strength, you will be the first to realize you want to do more.

Have fun and chill. Results won't come the day after, just do your things, eat good food and do some good exercise. And enjoy life in general: it would be all pointless, otherwise.

[sniffanimal]

"Help, I'm an adult and I'm realizing I can't read or write as well as I should/would like to!"

Good news! Literacy is a skill that can be worked on, even once you're out of K-12 schooling! Here are some ways to get started with increasing your knowledge of grammar, reading comprehension, classics knowledge, and writing! Feel free to reblog with more ideas/options!

Go to the library. The brick and mortar building where all the books are. Get a library card (free), and ask a librarian to help you find books on whatever skill you want to work on! I recommend the physical building because the quiet environment, going to a specific place to learn, and access to books that may not be available digitally are all helpful!

Use Libby/Overdrive! These are apps you can use with your library card to check out ebooks. If you're used to reading fanfic on your phone, reading an ebook might be an easy transition! Many apps also have font and accessibility options that can help!

Khan Academy is a free site that has lots of different lessons on grammar and reading! They're geared towards k-12 students, but can be a good place to start if you feel they can help! I've only seen the math lessons personally, but it comes highly recommended!

Find a book you read in high school and read it again! Follow along with SparkNotes or another study guide (STILL reading the book) and think about how you feel about the book without the pressure of a grade. Did you find it more engaging? Did you notice anything new?

Read a lot! Read long form blog posts, news articles past the headlines, books, magazines, newsletters. Read your voter info pamphlets. Read the transcript of a video instead of watching it. Reading engages a different part of your brain than listening!

Start with just one book, hopefully one you already own, and take your time reading it. Keep it in your bag/pack everywhere you go. change your phone wallpaper to the cover of the book to remind you to pick it up instead of scrolling. Take all year to read it! Take your time! Just always have reading be an accessible option for you.

Practice writing more! Journal, write longer Tumblr posts than a pithy one-liner. Start a proper blog, like on dreamwidth or neocities! Write reviews of everything you read and watch and experience! Write fiction, poetry, your memoir! Don't worry about it being publishable or having an audience. Practice just sitting and writing full sentences for the joy of it.

Lastly, since I'm running out of ideas now, look into taking classes again! You don't have to pursue a degree to take English 101. Some colleges even let you Audit classes (where you take the class without receiving a grade or credit), which can be less stressful. Join a book club, or start one! Even try picking out an English textbook at the library and giving it a read.

It's never too late to learn to love reading again. And to get better at it, and even write works of your own. It's not shameful to be a bad reader/writer, but it can be fixed. Happy reading!

[oliviax727]

Language Update #1

I'm writing this post on the day my duolingo streak has reached 30. Combine that with rosetta stone, and I've done approximately 10 hours of language learning total, or 20 mins/day.

Now it hasn't all been exactly 20 mins per day, some days it's a lot less, some days it's a lot more, but what I also have to add is that I only did 10 days of rosetta stone.

Duolingo vs Rosetta Stone

Generally, I've found that duolingo has been better for my education than rosetta stone. Yes, the funny bird app works better than the "serious" language course. Here's a few reasons why:

Flexibility

Rosetta stone is not very flexible. It's very rigid in it's structure. You are typically required to spend 30 minutes per day on learning, 5 days a week.

Not just that, but you don't really have much options outside of progressing forward, there are auto-planned revision, speaking, reading, writing, and listening lessons.

This, at least to me, is unsustainable.

There are going to be a lot of days where I won't have the time, capacity, or drive to do much learning.

Often I want to change what I'm doing. Instead of continuing forward, I might want to brush up on speaking or revise previous words etc.

With duolingo, the only requirement is that I learn for at least a 3-minute lesson each week. And I don't even need to do a lesson, I could choose that time to review a previous one for example.

Encouragement to Learn

You might think that a minimum of 3 minutes a day is not substantial to learning a language.

Duolingo is gamified, it is full of these little jingles, and animations, that hit your brain right in the dopamine pathway. It's addictive, and that's a good thing.

It encourages you to keep going, to motivate yourself to do more. I end up spending an average of 10 minutes a day thanks to this. Which is much more manageable than 30 minutes.

Rosetta stone on the other hand is slow and cumbersome. It feels like it takes longer to complete a lesson and often becomes a bore. In everything, from the speed of the animations, to how long it takes to turn on the microphone ....

Overwhelming Pace

When learning, well, anything that involves memory, the best way to do it is not to overdo it. You need to be constantly going back and reinforcing old ideas and terms.

Rosetta stone throws waay too much in your face too quickly, and then because it did so much, it can't take the time to allow you to go back and revise.

One day, I 'learned' about 25 words and 3 new grammar rules in a few minutes, most not related to eachother in the sense you could put them in a sentence. Then the next 3 days I did not see most of those words come back up again until suddenly I get introduced to more words.

Duolingo has done something similar, but it did it in a better way. When you're exposed to a barrage of new words, either:

A) It's made very clear that you don't need to remember the word right now, and it's just to pad sentences into looking "normal"

B) Exercises involving that word are repeated, again and again, so you are sure to remember it

When duolingo threw me into the deep end, it was often productive. I learned how to read sentences and piece together their meaning via context clues - even if I didn't know every word in the sentence.

Unclear Instructions, Help, and Translations

I'm certain that a baby could use duolingo. It's not too difficult to understand what the app is asking you to do.

Not just that, but duolingo offers a lot in lieu of translations, they incorporate translations in five ways:

Exercises asking you to translate phrases in Spanish into English

Exercises asking you to translate phrases in English into Spanish

After you answered a question in Spanish, your answer will be translated into English

You can tap/click on a word in English to reveal its translation

You can tap/click on a word in Spanish to reveal its translation

The first two are common ways in which duolingo tests your knowledge, or introduces new concepts to you. The middle one is a way of giving you conformation "oh good I said what I meant".

The last two act as hints, to be used when you're struggling or decipher a specific word's meaning.

Rosetta stone, on the other hand, does not offer any translation aid. In fact, there are no translations involved at all in the app.

Not just that, but in the 10 days I've used rosetta stone, I did not see a single English word within lessons at all (of course the app's interfacing and menus use English).

So how do you learn Spanish? Via images.

Now, given that the app's goal is to teach natural language acquisition, it makes sense. Because it prevents the ability for your mind to immediately back-translate new phrases and words.

The disadvantage is that it prevents the ability for your mind to immediately back-translate new phrases and words, a rather crucial step in learning a new language I'd argue.

Oh, and, using images only is severely limited when it comes to teaching you words that are:

Dynamic verbs (e.g. running)

Abstract verbs (e.g. want)

Abstract words in general (e.g. is, this, that)

Prepositions and tense

Adverbs

Abstract nouns or adjectives

Most grammar rules

This is probably the straw that broke the camel's back. Especially because there's no way to confirm that what you think a word means is what it actually means (as there are no translations).

Pricing

Duolingo is free, and has a 2 week free trial of its premium version (I recommend subscribing to premium). This allows you to try the app, and pull out if you don't want to learn the language or want to switch.

Rosetta stone charges you upfront for 3 months of use. No trial, no nothing.

Not to mention that super duolingo is less expensive than basic rosetta stone, on a per-month basis.

Using two apps is just a bad idea

Surprisingly, using two apps is harder than one. Especially when both aren't equally flexible to time.

The problem isn't that they teach you different words at different rates ... I was learning approximately the same amount (outside of rosetta stone affomentionedly blasting me with new words).

The problem was that it becomes a bit overwhelming with the time and brainpower requirements.

It felt like rosetta stone was a time sink, preventing me from using duolingo more often and learning more productively. So I stopped using rosetta stone after the first 10 days.

Still won't get back that money though ...

What Have I learned?

Alright, so now for what I've actually learned.

Grammar

Generally I've learned a few decent grammar rules that are different to english. For example:

Grammatical gender is a thing, and more prevalent

Adjectives come after a noun

Está and es both mean the same thing, "is", but one describes temporary properties and the other describes static qualities

There are several words like "well", "too", "you", "I" that have several translations in Spanish

Verbs change based on what the subject is

Diacritics exist ...

Of course, things are slightly easy because I don't need to learn a different word order. It's still SVO like in English.

Really what throws me off the most is the fact that adjectives come after the word. That and the many different ways you can say "you" or "I". Other than that I've got a lot of grammar under control.

Currently I have not actually learnt tense in Spanish. But I will, actually tomorrow probably.

Other than that, gender is difficult to learn. Mainly because you cannot always use the "ends in a" vs. "ends in o" rule. For example you say el agua instead of la agua.

Words

There are many words in Spanish that are very similar in English, about 50% of them.

Because the amount of words I have learnt are small, I will list them, all! Which will be a great learning exercise for me.

Do not expect me to spell every word correctly - I can't even spell in English correctly without spellcheck.

Common Phrases (or components of phrases) Hola; Adiós; Gracias; De nada; Disculpe; Dónde; Qué; Por favor; Lo siento; Buenos días; Buenas noches; Como estás; Qué tal; Bienvenido; Vamos

Short/Simple Words Es/eres/soy, está/estás/estoy, ese, este, mi, yo, tú, tu, para, de, o, a, y, demasiado, bueno, hoy, un/una, el/la, él/ella, ellos/ellas, en, muy, aquí, sí, no

Verbs (in 3rd person form) Corre, lee, escribe, quiere, paga, compra, bebe, come, necesita, nada, tengo/tiene, habla, vive

Adjectives Azul, rojo, verde, marrón, gris, elegante, bonito, caro, cómoda, barato, bueno, inteligente, grande, cerrado, favorita, diferente

Nouns (Food) Pan, agua, leche, manzana, naranja, queso, huevo, tomate, carne, pescado, jugo, café, sándwich, hamburguesa, ensalada, chocolate

Nouns (People/Pets) Persona, niño/niña, mujer, hombre, hijo/hija, esposo/esposa, hermano/hermana, padre, madre, abuelo/abuela, gato, perro

Nouns (Places/Vehicles) Aeropuerto, hotel, hospital, restaurante, baño, banco, tren, autobús, carro, bicicleta, casa, calle, tienda, supermercado

Nouns (Apparel) Ropa, camisa, camiseta, reloj, cinturón, vestido, falda, chaqueta, abrigo, zapatos, pantalones, sombrero

Nouns (Objects) Vaso, taza, mesa, maleta, regalo, reserva, dinero, boleto, teléfono, pasaporte, cartera, videojuego

Other (Countries/Languages) Español, Inglés, Francia, España, Australia, America, Argentina

That should be about it. Obviously, some words in Spanish are direct translations in English, e.g. Australia, hospital, chocolate.

Pronunciation

I included them because while they are spelt the same, they may still be pronounced slightly differently.

Spanish is slightly easier in terms of pronunciation in the sense that vowels (without diacritics) are always pronounced the same way. This is why diacritics appear - as to tell a speak when to pronounce them differently.

Diacritics are always in the form of the uptick, á é í ó ú, with the only exception of ñ. Which genuinely changes how the n is pronounced.

For example, baño is pronounced "bahnyo" (depending on your own accent the h there may not be needed).

Conclusion

So, I'll be switching to exclusively using duolingo. I do intend on maintaining the streak for as long as possible, as at least it keeps me motivated for the rest of the day.

Outside of that, things are going well! I'm planning on surprising my grandmother with my newfound Spanish skills much earlier, by Christmas. Because I am afraid she might not be around by next year, depending on her health.

My next post will be at ... maybe 60 days? There'll be less information in the next post because there's less stuff to talk about.

[teflinstitute]

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