#Laurence doesn’t do anything

[loadingbones]

Skin/hair colour refs for myself

[crownomancer]

Today I’m thinking about William Laurence and about how strongly he believes in the foundational lies of English ideology, and how fascinating that is.

Because he learned that in England, honor stands above all else, that they are built on a system of reason and justice and progress. And we all know that as a colonialist state, these are the lies they tell to try and justify the atrocities they commit. England doesn’t really follow them. But William Laurence has buried these ideologies so deeply in his being that at first, he can’t believe England would ever be anything else. Then as he learns, he holds onto those ideologies so hard, actually attempts to uphold them, and it puts him in direct conflict with what England is actually doing.

Anyway, England hand cultivated this giant pain in the ass themselves, and that’s part of what makes Laurence’s story so tragic, but also so ridiculously funny.

[sequinsandfins]

Max leaves Red Bull in 2026. This is how it happens.

After Singapore Max doesn’t want to contain his anger against Red Bull anymore. They were supposed to be teammates again.

Daniel heads home to Perth and disappears from sight. Max reads all the tributes from the other drivers from the other teams. He’s angry at the response from his own team. How they could seem to care so little about someone that they once claimed to love so much Max loves Daniel.

Daniel is still answering to Max‘s texts but his responses are brief

Max flies to Australia to spend his birthday with Daniel. Kelly is upset but Max doesn’t care what Kelly thinks.

On Max’s birthday Max and Daniel almost kiss. They don’t talk about it, but it causes something in Max to change.

Max feels like he’s just going through the motions for the rest of 2024. He wins the Drivers Championship but RBR loses the Constructors. Max breaks up with Kelly and the next year he puts his plan into place.

Liam doesn’t even get any points in the 2024 season, Checo barely holds onto P8.

After the season, Max calls his dad and says let’s do it. Let’s leave Red Bull

Max and Daniel start talking again, every day. Daniel feels like he’s ready to step back into the world of F1. He doesn’t want anything to do with Red Bull anymore but Daniel has mentioned the other teams have reached out to him to become an ambassador.

Lance finally decides to stop playing Formula One and that 2025 will be his last year.

Lawrence Stroll makes a compelling case to Daniel to become an ambassador for AM. Lance only stopped because he wanted to and Lawrence treats Aston Martin like a true family. It helps that Adrian is also there.

So when it’s announced that Daniel is to become an ambassador for Aston Martin, the news only highlights Red Bull’s decline.

Scotty is ecstatic because although he’s still tied to Red Bull, Aston Martin is his family too and now he has Daniel back in his family.

Daniel becoming part of the Aston Martin family makes the decision easy for Max although he doesn’t let Laurence have him for free.

#maxiel is a constant top trending tag in 2026.

In 2026 Max Verstappen and Fernando Alonso win the WCC and Max wins his 5th WDC.

Max is seen kissing Daniel over the winter break.

#maxielconfirmed 

[cypheroo]

Morning Confessions | Laurence Zvhal

"Hi can I request a fic with Laurance complementing the reader but she doesn’t believe him and he tries to prove that he serious?"

Word count : 774

Tw : none?

AN : SO, I tried to follow the request :) AND I have two more Laurence ficss coming soon (a siren x Laurence one and an angsty Laurence one both of which are long asf), so I wanted to get this one written!

Laurence was so handsome…he had such a charm to him, and gosh even just a light graze of his touch would send Shivers up your spine. And he knew this, he knew because he looked at you a lot more now than before. His ‘accidental’ touches seemed to happen more now.

Some people would say he might be feeling the same way you do, but his eyes were for lord aphmau, not for you. And those thoughts alone kept you from asking him if he felt the same. He was just teasing you at this point, toying with you the way a flirt would with anyone, you and him being friends didn't make much of a difference either.

And this morning was no different, Laurence and you were both sitting in the town square, both sipping your respective drinks, chatting the early morning away. It was so nice, being able to meet with Laurence like this, sure you wished you'd be able to call this a date…but it was ok! You were content.

“Really! Come on, how long do you think Brendon will really be into kawaii-chan?” Laurence questioned, “I dunno? The real question is when another person will catch His eye” you answered jokingly. “True. I'm surprised he hasn't tried his hand at aphmau” Laurence joked before he took another sip of his drink. You Shrugged and Looked back out at the main square looking around, no one was really out this early, most still being inside asleep. It was quiet for a moment before you felt Laurence's eyes on you, you held still trying to act like you didn't notice, “your eyes look really pretty against the morning light, has anyone ever told you that?” Laurence asked, his voice a tad bit more serious this time.

You felt your stomach get butterflies over his words…his tone, and the idea that it Was directed to you? You turned your head to him and laughed softly, “and who are you trying to impress Mr?” You asked as you shook your head, “you're just being nice” you cleared your throat trying not to sound too shaken up by his words. “No, I'm being serious. your eyes are absolutely beautiful, if you don't mind” as the last Few words of his sentence left his mouth he set his drink on the floor and slowly cupped your cheeks, forcing you to face him, “let me get a closer look, honey” the pet name rolling off his tongue easily. His eyes narrowed as he focused on your eyes.

You felt your face get warm, hell you felt your whole body get warm as the man in front of you studied your face, “your eyes are stunning” he moved his bottom lip between his teeth as he tilted his head.

You couldn't take it as you pulled away and stood up, “oh wow, haha. Funny joke Laurence you can quit it now” you waved him off and faced away from him, trying to calm yourself down.

“joke?” Laurence joined you in standing up. “I'm not kidding. seriously” he insisted. Before you looked back at him with some fake unimpressed look. “Laurence you gotta stop testing out your little pick up lines on me” you said with a small smile and furrowed brows. Your look was matched with laurences confused look, “testing? You think I'm testing them on you?” He asked, almost flabbergasted. “yeah? For lord aphmau, you know full well she'd never let you cup her face like that” you continued with a small hum.

Laurence was quiet for a while, he was absolutely surprised you'd even bring lord aphmau into this when he had been trying to hint at you for months about his feelings about you.

“none of anything I've said to you has been for testing, not for lord aphmau or anyone else.” He stated, his eyes slightly more assured, “to put it quite frankly you're the only one I've used these ‘pick up lines’ on. His words were very self assured which made you confused, “wait so…everything you've said- no way laurence” you couldn't even fathom it. “No way? No way I'm looking at you with hearts in my eyes?” Laurence joked as he crossed his arms. “No way I say these things to get you flustered?” He continued, “no way I say what I mean?” He whispered close to your ear.

You shook your head, “no that'd mean-” you started as Laurence nodded, “that I've fallen for you?” Laurence finished. He nodded with a laugh. His hand slowly grazing your shoulder as he moved in front of you, "Baby, im in love with you. And eyes don't lie. It's clear you feel the same, " he purred as he moved closer to you. "So understand my words are made for only you to hear," he continued. "So please... take my compliment?" He asked with that stupid smirk you hated to love. It was when your eyes met his once more that you slowly smiled and nodded.

Tags :

[sillyteenagegirlinlovewithblocks]

All my head cannons for aphmau characters.°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Zvahl family. 

Laurence is Italian. 

He’s 5’11

Laurence is a charmer. flowers, dinner dates , stay in dates, anything romantic he gots it. 

He’s very bi and is constantly confused. ( me to laur) 

Laurence was a highlighter kid.

He has really bad Separate anxiety especially from partner. 

He has an iPhone 8 and will keep that thing until he dies or it is dust. I mean like the screen is falling off a little it’s cracked and laggy. 

He can’t do math or tell time on an actual clock. 

He’s dyslexic. ( same same) 

Because he grew up on a farm imma say he’s helped multiple animals give birth. 

Never really had a crush on aphmau he thought he did but he was just jealous that garroth was putting his attention into her and not him. 

Ro’Meave family.

garroth switched rooms with vlyd to have the room the laurances window faces. 

I like to think garrote and Laurence are next door neighbors. 

Non of the ro’Meave children were allowed animals growing up but that didn’t stop Zane from having a pet spider that his parents didn’t find out about until it died but it escaping and garte killing it since he thought a random tarantula just entered there house.( not that he wouldn’t kill it anyways if he knew it was a pet) 

Zenix is one of the ro’mave brothers but he has a different mom and doesn’t live with them. That’s why he hates them sm. ( fuck garte and his cheating ass ) also Zenix looks a lot like garte but he dyes his hair and does makeup to make himself not look it. 

        (That’s also means Zenix is secretly a blonde. ) 

Zianna has forced all the boys to join an activity since they were 3. 

Garroth joined a bunch of different sports but then baseball stuck for him.

Zane joined cooking.

Vylad did cooking, pottery, painting, soccer, ice skating but ultimately he ended up staying in fencing. 

Garroth is the tallest out of everyone and gene is second tallest. 

Garroth 6’2 

Rodriguez family. 

Genes real name is Eugene.

Gene and Dante don’t have the same dad. 

Genes dad was abusive and left when he was 4. 

Dante’s dad died before he was born in the military. 

Gene is super cuddly in his sleep and he often cuddles Zenix in his sleep. 

Sasha has a whole album of them cuddling together. 

Dante and gene have there mothers last name. 

Gene 6’0 

Valkrum family.

Travis is German. ( me to buddy) 

Travis and his dad are best friends and talk about everything together. 

Shalashaska family. 

In Mcd after aphamu I become Irene or got her relic a lot of people were upset with her due to previous prayers unanswered. 

Gelula family. 

Zenix and gene sleep fight due to there childhoods. 

Zenix has a staring problem.

He lives with his mom.

Ashida family. 

So I ignore the nickname Kawaii Chan and just call her nana so that’s how I am referr to her. 

She has 15 siblings. 

10 Boys and 5 girls. 

She's a glass child. 

She a middle child.

So I can't really think of more but maybe ill update if I do but for my last one Imma say Garroth got cadenza a fashion designing job because he’s rich and has friends in high places he just pestered all of them until someone was willing to take a look at her work and actually loved it. 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

[erroryeswifi]

Yay! Thank you for responding to my last ask :) I absolutely love the family (Steve, Larry and Rob) Can I know your Mr. Small or Robert headcanons too?

Oughh This one’s pretty long, so once again putting it under a cut ⬇️

(Like last time, if u don’t care abt me yapping there’s some drawings down there too haha)

• Mr Small likes anime and cosplay.

The biggest reason for this is his cosplay of Sailor Moon in “The Ghouls” episode. But along with cosplay I feel like he just likes to dress up in general. He has a surprisingly large amount of outfits throughout the series like: The honesty bear (The sock), Criminal Bozo fit (The allergie), Classic Hippie fit (The Silence), The Small hours music video fits (The Singing) and a couple more that he wears frequently like his rollerblading fit and his meditation fit. And those are just the ones that come to my head first, there’s definitely more in the show I think. He also has a bunch of outfits in the comics but I haven’t read those (yet. I really want them)

Similarly Larry does the same thing actually. Although, it makes more sense for him since he does it specifically for work reasons (And we see him so much more often). The thing is about Larry’s outfits is that I think are especially cute is that he dresses up for his role (specifically as a stereotypical worker you’d expect to see in whichever store he’s in) even if there isn’t a specific uniform. I’ve made a post about this before right here. Basically something I noticed is that he puts on temporary tattoos for a few of his jobs, not to mention he literally put on a fake gotee for his barber outfit. I like to think Larry is too busy to have his own hobbies but he accidentally adopted dressing up and he thoroughly enjoys it, even if he’s not exactly aware that he’s doing it.

• Rob takes both of Larry and Steve’s last names after being adopted.

I’ve thought for a long time which last name was gonna be their family last name but I was sooo hung up about it cuz both Larry and Mr Small’s last names are pretty important to their work. Larry is known all over town for being “Larry Needlemeyer” so it would be a pain to get that changed for him and be bad for his publicity as a well known worker. As for Mr Small he’s literally a teacher, everyone at his workspace adresses him by last name so it would be strange for him to change names as well. Basically what I’ve settled with for now is that they would share a hyphenated last name. So Mr Small’s would be “Steven Needlemeyer-Small” and Larry’s would be “Laurence Needlemeyer-Small”. This same thing would apply for Rob with him being “Rob Needlemeyer-Small”. I feel like this would be the best way for them to share a family name while staying consistent and least confusing. Plus it won’t affect neither Steve’s or Larry’s jobs all that much.

• Rob has a million nicknames

We all know the gag about Rob being called different names. I think it would be fun if when Larry and/or Steve calls for him (whether they need help or he’s in trouble) they call him by different variations of “Rob” like: Robert, Robbie, Roberto etc… I think his legal name would be still be just “Rob” tho, there’s really no reason for it to be anything else as that’s the name he remembers after getting out of the void.

• Mr Small is really bad at relationships

The thing about Mr Small his the he is one of the few middle aged adults in the show without a spouse or family members at all. Almost all of the middle aged adults in the show are the same age, we know this because they all went to school together but most importantly because they all went to prom together. My point is, almost all of the people he went to school with are either married, dating someone or have children of their own. Meanwhile he is single, no known family and doesn’t seem to have many friends outside of work. We even see him talking to Mr Corneille about his struggles online dating (The Wish), admittedly he wasn’t on a dating website but rather a pizza delivery app but that even further shows how he’s not super good with social queues and close relationships as he couldn’t tell the difference.

To contrast Mr Small, Larry is super good with people interactions. Obviously, with his work he needs to be. But as far as romantic relationship go, I think he’d be a very stereotypical good boyfriend type. Where he’d take his dates to nice restaurants, buy them flowers or go for walks. He likes things simple and classic.

• Rob likes video games

Idk I don’t really have a reason for this one. I think he’d constantly play Super Smash Bros on a Nintendo switch he was gifted for Christmas or smth lmaoo. The idea of him ragging online is very funny to me, especially if it’s stupid simple kids games where there isn’t much brain power to do them. He’d stream “Playing Fireboy and Water girl by myself!” if Larry let him.

Okay that’s already too much writing for one post, but if you wanna know more feel free to ask for it! ❤️

(I may not answer right away, but I appreciate the asks really!)

[corvusblackk]

remus in my dr

(i already shared these but i really miss him rn so i wanted to make a post on all the things i cherish about him.)

first, his personality. he’s very similar to how he’s represented in All the young dudes, he’s imperfect just like that, not soft but truly real and unique. he’s independent, honest and straightforward, mature and chill but he can be funny when he wants to, intimidating lol, he’s really protective over his loved ones, but he also has many flaws that make him so real and beautiful, really. he’s very complex. he’s not really sweet contrary to what people present him in those scenarios, he’s laid back but he sometimes can’t contain his anger with people who go against us, he’s unbothered if they mess with him and reacts only when it’s about his closed ones, and with us he’s very straightforward and surely lets us know if we get on his nerves lol.

he’s not a touchy type of person, but he often would brush his pinky over my hand when we’re close. he did this even before we got together, it’s just something that he does, could be also unconscious i’m not sure. when we became a couple he wasn’t too afraid to hold my hand sometimes, he doesn’t mind if people are judgemental (which is often what we encounter) and that’s probably because he can be scary lmao, he just doesn’t care, but he would make sure i want it and am comfortable with it (also bc i wasn’t the first times).

he’s tired all the time and would sleep at any occasion if he could. he sleeps like a baby, he breaths deeply and makes little noises. sometimes he would slip in my bed at my dorm and lay over me (he’s freaking tall therefore is heavy and would basically crush me but that’s fine) and put his head on my stomach so i would caress his hair and he would just knock out. he’s a deep sleeper too, like not even a scream in his ear would wake him up (exaggerating rn).

um, he kisses very well. one day we decided to meet at night in the slytherin common room and there is a muggle radio always turned on, so we were sitting quietly on the sofa next to the fireplace that was slowly falling out and then he kissed me (i sound calm but i am not), and there was the song “cover me in roses” by golden laurence and i know this song in this reality but it never had a meaning, now it does, so yes this is our song now i don’t make the rules.

as far as I’ve seen for the some months we got in a relationship, he’s very caring but he doesn’t really show it, he’s not sweet almost at all but just because that’s how his personality is like. his love language is like he’s always available for me and takes time to pass some time with me and talk about anything, even if he doesn’t talk much generally, he’s more of a listener.

when i go to therapy, both here and in my dr, i always feel so drained and tired to the point that i’m annoyed by anything and can’t even talk and can’t do shit for the whole day (yeah that’s how much it affects me idc). so when i’m in cr i just go to my room or the garden at my house to simply do nothing, hoping that no one will talk to me cause i would just reply with zero patience or sometimes i would just straight up sleep. but when i’m in dr, yeah i do the same, but there’s him and he’s always available when i need him, so i would just secretly crawl in his bed at the gryffindor’s and he would caress my hair and not speak a word, cause he just knows what i need.

[mcdbutgay]

zoeymau cheebs (click for better quality + transparent pics)

some hcs below ^^ also i love how they complement each other so much GODDD

APHMAU SHALASHASKA

- aphmau shows up at phoenix drop’s doorstep pretty much half dead. no one knows where she came from, and upon waking up she doesn't remember who she is, where she's from, nothing.

- vylad carried her here because he knew that garroth was stationed in phoenix drop and he knew that the village was in dire need of help due to it being lordless; however it doesnt get revealed until way later.

- aphmau gets carried into the guard station which is where she resides for a period of time. zoey, who was visiting phoenix drop at the time (she was a wandering 'merchant' of sorts, looking for a permanent place to stay) feels a weird presence coming from her, not magical but also not normal, and decides to prolong her stay, healing aphmau back to health with garroth's supervision.

- aphmau wakes up and is sooo grateful they took care of her and decides that as payment she’s going to help make this mess of a village better (also she has no memory of anything that happened prior or why she ended up here anyway, so it’s not like she has anywhere else to go.)

- so she fixes up the roads and helps remodel some of the houses (i feel like this version of aphmau is much less princess-like and more handy than canon aph) garroth is very grateful for this

- anyway uh i dont actually have a lot of stuff for her since i find aphmau to be somewhat bland?? ig thats bc aph is meant to be jess for the majority of s1 but yeah uhh that needs to change. this aphmau is more rough around the edges, not afraid to fend for herself and those she cares for, but also very kind and compassionate. also very bubbly at times, but around those she trusts. she’s actually kind of against the idea of having guards follow her around all the time when she first becomes lord (because she believes she can do everything on her own), but later realizes that its much better to have backup bc the world is dangerous tm

- anywayz she grows closer to zoey when she moves into her house. she finds her presence weird at first but quickly gets used to her company, and she finds that waking up to the smell of tea everyday is soothing

- she is often sent out to the woods to gather whatever herbs zoey needs for her magicks. this quickly turns into aphmau trying to find pretty flowers to bring back to her pretty wife as a gesture of love friendship. sometimes she gets scolded bc she unknowingly brings back poisonous flowers or something but zoey knows that she does it with the best of intentions and thinks its kinda cute in a way.

- also aphmau brings back zoey pretty items from her travels, usually rings, necklaces, or even pretty rocks. zoey keeps them all in her room and looks at them while working on magicks stuff

- sorta angsty but i feel like aphmau definitely feels guilty for being absent for most of levin and malachi’s childhood. way in the future i feel like she and zoey would either adopt or have a biological kid of their own that they can both be present for, now that aphmau is no longer a lord and zoey is just enjoying her last lifetime with her beloved wife.

- OH AND i find it funny that they end up together since, at least in my canon, irene and zoey were a thing way back when. so like after irene left this plane or whatever and reincarnated as aphmau its like zoey and irene found themselves again in another lifetime (more on that in zoey’s section, which i actually wrote first)

- god i really don’t have much to say abt aph lol uh she’s bisexual (fem leaning, which is why she doesn’t rlly feel anything for garroth or laurence but does get flustered around guys sometimes) and demiromantic (takes a WHILE for her to feel any romantic attraction. again its why she doesn’t feel anything for G and L LMAO)

ZOEY TALTATHEIL

- was a devout follower and close friend of irene 900 years ago. zoey, although she wasn’t part of the divine warriors, was irene’s right hand woman, and would help her with decisions etc etc.

- she was kind of like a guard but not really lol. i do feel as though she began to mess around with barrier magicks as a way to protect irene, despite the fact that it got her exhiled from her home. she’d do anything to protect her.

- they were overall very close, but due to circumstances tm they had to separate. they never saw each other again sadly

- (although there are some books written by scholars that state that at some point lady irene had a certain lady friend who she lived with and shared intimate moments with. wonder who that is :P)

- ((also irene did have a family at some point, and levin is of her bloodline. he has blonde hair and blue eyes, guess who else has blonde hair and blue eyes? garroth ZOEY (and yes also garroth but thats a coincidence imo) so i think they are at least distantly related but very much so regardless))

- enough about irene. in zoey’s long 900~ year life she’s travelled to many regions, learned about many different cultures, and met many people, some who she did settle down with at some point. due to her immortality, however, she outlived all her previous partners and since then has been afraid to settle down with anyone, afraid of losing them to time

- it wasn’t until she met aphmau and levin (and later malachi) that she began to change her mind. she began to raise her children when she was away on lord duties, and she got VERY attached to them. she treated them as her own, and soon became accustomed to the idea of having a family

- she also began to see aphmau in a more romantic light at some point during s1. she didn’t know when the change from platonic to romantic feelings began but it didn’t matter. what mattered was that she had been raising another woman’s children as though they were her very own, cooking for the 4 of them like a happy family, and literally living the life she had always wanted without even realizing it.

- anyways she sleeps with aphmau in her room despite having her own room. she uses her room more as a workspace for her magicks

- also (and this is less about zoey and more about elves in general) i feel as though elves start out with dark colored hair and with the years it slowly lightens up until it’s completely white (doesn’t matter what color; zoey’s just happened to be blonde which is why she has platinum blonde hair pre-timeskip. it obviously doesn’t change this fast, but zoey giving up her immortality did speed up the process by a LOT which is why the change was so drastic in such a small amount of time (for an elf))

- speaking of her immortality, i feel as though it was the main reason that drove her to, you know, actually become a thing with aphmau. they were practically married pre-timeskip but they never really mentioned it, both scared they’d ruin what they had. aphmau being trapped in the irene dimension was the thing that drove her to spend years of her life studying, trying to get her closest friend, no, her lover back; losing her immortality was the final push to make it official. losing her immortality mean that they’d both pass within each other’s lifetimes, which is something zoey had always wanted (that sounds morbid but imagine being immortal and outliving all your loved ones.. i feel as though one can only take so much pain before it turns you crazy)

- anyways enough angst. since zoey has lived so long and has been all over the place, she has countless stories to tell and levin and malachi always loved hearing them. post-timeskip she tells the same stories to the children of phoenix drop in her spare time. she loves being around children and overall just loves caring for ppl ^__^

- as for like sexuality hcs uhh i can’t imagine her as anything but a lesbian lol

[haaam-guuuurl]

Little Women Amy x Laurie Fake Dating Modern AU

Theodore Laurence and Amy March run into each other in France, after years of not speaking.

The not speaking thing wasn’t their fault, though, not really. But Laurie and Amy’s sister Jo, who’d been his best friend, had a big falling out a couple of years before, after he told her he loved her and she told him she didn’t. Consequently, Laurie took upon himself a March embargo, determined to completely forget about Jo and anything that could remind him of her, which included her family.

Which is a shame, since he’d been quite close with the March sisters, and came to regret not keeping in touch with Meg and her husband, his good friend John, and their new babies, as well as not being there as Beth got sick, and no longer seeing Amy, whom he’d started to be real friends with as well.

So, the contrast of denying himself their presence and suddenly being completely surrounded by Amy almost overwhelms Laurie, but as it turns out, he’s nothing but happy upon seeing her, as well as relieved.

Amy March is as bubbly as he remembers, even though she’s older, and accordingly more mature. She’s not as dramatic, he thinks, and seems to be more careful of what she says and how she moves. For a second, he reflects on how the innocence and freedom of childhood is truly gone, if Amy, the youngest among them, is now a grown woman, but mostly he marvels at the adult she’s become.

Amy, for one, is ecstatic at seeing Laurie again – he’d been severely missed in the March household, and while Jo had been annoyingly vague about what had happened between them, they got the gist of it, and gave them the room they needed to process it all.

Amy always thought it was unfair, though. That just because he and Jo had a fight, that no one else could be in contact with him either. Sure, they’d been best friends (which they’d never missed a chance to remind the others of, always going off on their own lone adventures), but Laurie had at least been friends with them, too. But they weren’t allowed to say anything, and Laurie became a ghost, vaguely somewhere across Europe, but as good as dead for Jo March, and so as well for the rest of them.

Finding him in France, though, leaves no room for Amy’s grievances, or her insecurities. They were friends, it’s clear now. They are friends. They can have their own relationship, independent of Jo, and she’s so happy to have her friend back, to have back a piece of home that’d been missing for long.

They become almost lifelines for each other in the foreign country. Laurie has his contacts, and Amy has made friends in the art course she’s taking there, but the two quickly become inseparable, almost as if making up for all the time they lost not talking - she fills him in in all things March; he regales her with tales of his gap year misadventures. And a misplaced piece of the universe rights itself a little bit.

So, when Amy needs an reason to refuse a date with Fred Vaugh – an old acquaintance, here on business, whom yes, she’s admittedly been flirting with for the past few weeks, but whom she can’t, in good conscience, actually go out with, because while he’s perfectly nice and respectable, he doesn’t actually do anything for her romantically, and wouldn’t that be leading him on? – Laurie’s is the first name to pop into her head, and is, she thinks, a perfectly valid excuse. Well, valid, with a few tweaks. Namely, saying that he’s her boyfriend, as opposed to the far truer, yet less usable, boy friend.

When she explains the situation, Laurie finds it weird. Then funny. Then, given the opportunity to act out the role at a party she knows Fred will be at, downright hilarious. Amy would be furious at him for making fun of her situation, if he didn’t manage to, at the same time, make a convincing enough showing that Fred leaves her alone. And, she has to admit, it is pretty funny.

It hadn’t been anything more than that, really. Shortly after, Fred went back to London, and the whole thing was simply a lark between the two friends, notable only because Laurie starts referring to Amy as a heartbreaker.

It only becomes a thing a couple of months later.

Amy has since returned home, her summer course over, and spends the first weeks of Autumn in Massachusetts, prepping for her final school year, looking after Beth as she waits for test results about her remission, babysitting the twins for Meg, and avoiding telling Jo about her summer, since she’s not quite sure how her stance on Laurie has shifted (or not) in the past few years.

This becomes apparent when Laurie calls her, a few weeks into the semester, to cash in.

Apparently, Amy has inspired him, and Laurie is returning to the US as well. Seeing her has made him realize he misses home, and, admittedly, his grandfather has been on him about what is an acceptable amount of time for a gap year. This decision prompted him to reach out to Jo. They talked, for a bit, and mostly everything was fine. Great even, and signs pointed to them being able to return to their friendship after all! Until Laurie had the brilliant idea to tell her he’s dating her sister.

Amy, which she feels he deserves, promptly laughs in his face when he tells her.

He says he’s completely and totally over Jo, he is! (Amy maintains a healthy skepticism about this, but lets him go on) It seems that Jo had been looking forward to seeing him again, but adamant that her feelings hadn’t changed, and hoped he’d finally moved on. He’d made assurance after assurance, but the only way he could think of to truly prove it was to tell her he was seeing someone – which isn’t completely a lie, as he had dated other people in the meantime – only to then pop out Amy’s name when Jo asked about it – which is completely a lie.

Here is where Amy questions his reasoning, since he could have said literally any other name beyond Jo’s baby sister’s, and how could he think she’d take that well, and Jo was going to think she’d kept it from her, Laurie, did he have any idea how furious she will be when she sees her at Christmas??

But Laurie maintains that Amy owes him for Fred Vaughn – which has her rolling her eyes every time he mentions it, because c’mon, that was nothing like this – and that she’d been the first person he’d thought of – which does warm her heart a little – and who else could he rope into a fake relationship who could understand the whole thing with Jo?

“Fake relationship” stops Amy in her tracks.

Apparently, Laurie has a plan. A whole plan.

Amy tries to explain that all her lie had demanded of him was going to cool party. Laurie doesn’t see the relevance. Amy wants to yell at him through the phone.

Laurie will be arriving in Massachusetts shortly before Amy’s winter break, giving him only a while to face Jo on his own (and hopefully mend some bridges), at which point Amy will return home, spend her break cuddling with him by the fire – “Is that really so bad, Ames?” – convincingly enough that Jo sees he has completely moved on. Come the New Year, Amy will return to school, and eventually they’ll break the news of their uncoupling, stating how they’re better as friends, and everything will go back to normal.

It’s so easy!

Sure.

It starts off not easy at all, when the very next call Amy receives is from Jo, demanding to know every single detail of her relationship with Laurie.

For all intents and purposes, Amy is pretty proud of her performance, actually, given how little time she had to prepare. She thinks she manages to sound convincing yet apologetic, explaining how they’d gotten close in Paris and had been keeping it low-key because they weren’t sure where it was going yet, plus the long-distance while Amy went back to the States and Laurie stayed in Europe, not to mention his previously chilly relationship with the rest of the family (a not-intentional, but also not-untrue dig at Jo, there, which Amy isn’t sure she gets or not). She talks about how she totally intended on telling her when they knew it was serious, but Laurie totally blindsided her by telling Jo so soon. The best lies, Amy finds, have a little bit of the truth.

“So it’s serious?” Jo asks, and Amy hesitates for a second. A serious relationship. With Laurie. Faking a serious relationship with Laurie.

Her heart does a weird little twist she isn’t sure comes from lying to her sister, the anticipation of the scale of the performance she’ll have to give when they’re all together, or something else entirely.

“I guess.” she settles on, and promptly puts it out of her mind. There’s no point in spiraling for the intervening weeks, she tells herself, even if she does get progressively more stressed out as the semester ends.

When she does get home, though, it’s all so familiar, her anxiety just vanishes.

She’s missed her family. As close as they’ve always been, it’s always been tough being away from them all for months at a time. As soon as she walks through the door, it’s all hugs and smiles, and she feels nothing but welcomed.

And, admittedly, despite everything else, she’s missed Laurie, too. He’s already there when she arrives, like he’d told her he’d be, and Amy doesn’t even think about it before hugging him tightly when she sees him. It’s been ages since they’ve been together in person, after all, and this after months of spending every day together. No matter what else is going on, she just missed him.

It’s only when Jo chides at them to “break it off, lovebirds” that Amy remembers, and hopes her resulting awkward smile/grimace is seen as embarrassment for being with her “boyfriend” in front of her family, instead of regret over her every decision of the past few months.

Other than that, though, it ends up being not too bad. As much as Amy is loath to admit it, Laurie wasn’t too far off in his plan. They don’t have to act that lovey-dovey, just sit together at gatherings, hold hands once in a while, talk amongst themselves for a bit. It’s actually remarkably similar to how they’d behaved nearly every day in Paris. Amy hadn’t even thought of it as romantic, though, not until now, when the contrast of how they used to be, in their childhoods, is so apparent.

Her family’s reactions aren’t so bad either. Dad makes a joke about Laurie having to watch himself from now on, but since it’s been well established how much he loves him and the Laurences, it’s never meant as nor taken seriously. Marmee attempts to have a talk with her about their relationship, but Amy manages to abort that pretty quickly. Meg looks at them like she wants to say something, but doesn’t ever actually do it. Beth, bless her, just tells her she’s happy for them. And Jo makes a few comments here and there, which almost get to Amy, until she reminds herself that the whole purpose of this thing was for Jo and Laurie to get their friendship back.

And it even seems to be working. Since she’s been home, Amy’s watched Jo and Laurie joke around, argue and play off each other almost exactly like they did when they were kids. She can’t bring herself to talk about it with Laurie, but he hasn’t said anything to indicate otherwise, either, not that it was going poorly between them, nor that it was going in any other direction at all.

She’ll admit she was skeptical, when Laurie explained his plan to her, and that a large part of it was because she wasn’t ever truly sure if Laurie was really over her sister, as he claimed. He’d seemed so in love with her, before. And he’d been so heartbroken, when she’d rejected him. A small part of Amy wondered if he wasn’t just saying all of this for show, and if, once he saw Jo again, his feelings wouldn’t come rushing back. Amy does hope not. Even if she had her doubts, she wants for Laurie to be over Jo, really. She never did think they be very good together, is all. And she doesn’t want them to go through that heartbreak again.

If she watches them closely, just to try and see if there’s anything in Laurie’s eyes beyond friendly affection… Well, she’s just looking out for him, isn’t she? For both of them, really, or even for all of them, because everyone’s been excited to have the March and Laurence families together again, and another big emotional fight is the last thing they need.

And if she’s a little relieved every time Laurie notices her there and comes over, slinging his arm over her shoulders, or giving her a peck on the cheek… Well, that’s not really anyone’s business, is it?

It all goes fine, though. Jo and Laurie are perfectly friendly, not a hint of romantic drama nor icy coolness between them, and everyone’s happy through the holidays, and no one’s seemed suspicious of Amy and Laurie at all.

Amy’s all but forgotten about the plan and her anxieties over it, until it becomes all too real right on top of her.

Literally.

On Christmas morning, after they’ve opened their presents, and once Laurie and his grandfather have joined them for breakfast, Amy’s just greeting him, like she’s done every day, when Beth pipes up.

Amy hadn’t realized. She hadn’t been there when they decorated the house this year, even though their decorations haven’t changed in years.

As it always has been, right in the middle of the archway that separates the kitchen from the dining room, and right on top of where Amy and Laurie are standing, is a sprig of mistletoe.

It’s not even a big deal. Beth is the only one who noticed, and then Jo, who turned to look at them when she said it, but everyone else is busy, no one is really paying attention to them.

Yet, in Amy’s mind, this is maybe the worst thing that could’ve happen.

Mistletoe. Of course there’s mistletoe. How could she not have remembered the mistletoe?

Laurie seems as dumbstruck as she is, but he recovers quickly. They’re supposed to be a couple, after all. Couples aren’t supposed to be completely terrified by the mere notion that they kiss.

Amy only has time to register that it’s happening before it happens. Laurie inches his face closer to hers, and Amy doesn’t move away, doesn’t say anything. She meets him when he reaches her, and they kiss.

Laurie only intended it to be a chaste kiss, anyways. Something tangible enough for the others to not get suspicious, but light enough as to not make things uncomfortable, threading the needle to slip under the guise of them not wanting to kiss in front of their families.

It was supposed to be a chaste kiss.

It’s not that.

It’s something else entirely.

Before he knows it, not only has Laurie stepped closer into Amy’s space, but his hands have come up to her cheeks, and Amy has responded by placing hers on his waist. His eyes are closed, yes, he can’t see the room surrounding them, but all of a sudden he isn’t even aware of it. The only thing he’s aware of is Amy.

It’s so familiar. She’s Amy. He’s known her almost all their lives. They’ve been close for most of that time, have seen each other in all sorts of ways, have touched each other numerous times, they’ve shared friendly kisses and teasing ones, they’ve even kissed under the mistletoe before, a simple kiss on the cheek, when they were very little, after which Amy had blushed furiously, and Jo mercilessly made fun of them for the rest of the day.

But it’s also so new. He’s never been this close to Amy. Has never touched her like this, has never known what her lips tasted like before now. Peach chapstick. It should all be so simple and familiar, and Laurie should just let go and pretend it was nothing, but it isn’t and he can’t.

He has no idea how long they’ve been kissing, when Meg and John’s twins barge into the kitchen, crashing into Amy and Laurie and sending them almost flying apart. Jo “oooh”s at them teasingly, but it’s quickly forgotten about, in the bustle of the twins’ arrival, and the adults trying to get everyone to sit down and have breakfast.

Except that Laurie can’t forget about it. He can’t stop thinking about it, in fact. He can’t even make sense of it. He tries to catch Amy’s eye, to try and see how she’s feeling, but she won’t meet his. Is she being glib? Did it really mean nothing to her at all, just a fake kiss for their fake courtship? Or is she totally weirded out, unable to meet his eye? Could she be just as lost as he is?

The rest of the day passes by quickly, almost in a blur, and before he knows it, goodbyes are being exchanged, everyone headed back home for the night.

Amy’s barely looked at him since the kiss, but he tries one more time to talk to her before they leave.

And though she does look at him, this time, and smiles, gives him a quick hug goodbye, even, she’s gone before he can barely say anything.

She clearly doesn’t want to talk about it, then, so Laurie decides to try his best at putting it out of his mind. It was a kiss. So what? A great kiss, yes, but that was that. It was part of a plan. His plan. A plan that went great, even. Him and Jo are friends again, the Marches don’t hate him, and all they have left to do is explain they decided to break it off, in a few weeks. That they tried, but determined they were better of as friends. Him and Amy. Friends. Because that’s what they are.

Except that friends don’t think about each other for as long as Laurie starts finding himself thinking about Amy that week. Friends don’t wonder what it would have been like if they’d kissed any other time in the past couple of days, or if they’d been alone when they had, or wondering about any scenario where Laurie could have kissed Amy again, or for longer. And friends probably take each other’s calls, too. Which Amy hasn’t done since Christmas Day.

While Laurie understands she could perfectly well be busy, which would be a logic assumption from her curt text responses saying just that, Laurie also knows how it feels like to be brushed off, and it quickly becomes obvious she’s just avoiding him.

He wants nothing more than to talk to her, be near her again, something in the back of his mind desperate to be with her. It’s like seeing her in Paris after all those years set something off in him that can’t be satisfied, and it was only made stronger by that goddamn kiss.

But he won’t push her. He hopes she isn’t mad at him for the whole scheme, it is possible it was more taxing than he’d anticipated, after all. She’s probably weirded out by the kiss and needs some space. Okay. Space. He can do that. He won’t push.

He does count down the days until he sees her again, though.

Namely, at the Laurence’s New Year’s party, a week later.

Though Amy hasn’t explicitly stated she’ll come, the Marches have all been attending for years, and while there have been exceptions granted for illness, or work, Laurie sees (hopes for) no reason for Amy not to attend.

He’s already planned out what he wants to say, how he’s sorry for the whole thing, how he understands if she feels put off by him, how he just wants the two of them to be okay, and they never have to mention anything about the whole mess ever again.

Of course, though, as soon as he sees her, walking through the door after her sisters, the first thought that comes into his mind is how he wants to kiss her again.

Instead, he turns right back around and gets a drink.

He spends the next hour telling himself to get it together, that it’s just Amy, and he’s being ridiculous, and only then goes to talk to her.

Amy is reticent about being alone with Laurie, but also knows she’s avoided it for as long as she can, and they really should talk.

It’s not like anything will happen, right? Just because they’re alone, and Amy’s been thinking about the kiss, as well as basically everything that happened over Christmas ever since then, it doesn’t mean anything will happen when she actually talks to Laurie, other than just that. Talking.

Aware she’s trying way too hard to convince herself of this, Amy follows Laurie, becoming determined to push all of her internal doubts and bubbling feelings to the side and just have a talk with her friend. They’ll clear the air, he’ll tell her how the kiss meant nothing and will never happen again, and they’ll be back to normal. Friends. As it should be. And anything Amy might be feeling that’s clearly been brought on by the nostalgia of being home and not having been in a relationship in a while and not at all by this new-found closeness with Laurie and inability to pay attention to anything else when he’s near, it will all just fade away.

When they’re alone, he does apologize for his scheme and how maybe it went too far. He thanks her for going along with it, but that he never meant to make her uncomfortable, and he probably didn’t think it through as he should have, and if she wants, they can just come clean to their families right now.

Something in Amy melts a little. She’s not mad at him, not really. The fake relationship thing was weird, sure, but in the end, she gets it, and if things can be good between all of them in the end, then it was worth it. It was all maybe a bit more than she’d bargained for, but that doesn’t really matter does it? It’ll all just go away.

She also predicts that telling everyone they were lying now will just make things worse and more confusing, so Amy tells him she appreciates it, but there’s no need, they’ll just lay low and stick to the original timeline.

They both leave the room feeling better for having hashed it out, but still a little disappointed. It’s been agreed. They’ll just let the next few weeks go by, and that’ll be that. Back to normal, and no possibility for anything else. Great.

The rest of the party goes well, as light and fun as it can be. And if Amy and Laurie barely leave the other’s side during it, well, to anyone else, they’re supposed to be in a relationship, right? That’s normal. Beyond even that, they’re friends, it’s totally okay! Just like before, Amy squashes any feelings, even part of her is telling herself to enjoy it while it lasts.

Either way, when Mr. Laurence announces to the party that it’s only a couple of minutes till midnight, of course Amy and Laurie find themselves next to each other.

The panic from their first kiss is gone, and a certain inevitability remains over them. Well, of course this would happen. Of course, as a couple they’ll be expected to kiss at the stroke of midnight. When they turn to each other, Amy’s prepared to shrug it off like just something else they’ll have to do – she does not want to be caught off guard again – but finds Laurie already looking at her, a slight smile on his lips, and she can’t help but mirror him.

When the clock strikes midnight, cheers go up around them, but Amy and Laurie are oblivious. This one doesn’t even start as a peck. For all her distancing herself from it, Amy leans into the kiss fully intending to savor it this time. And for all his denial over it, Laurie does the same.

Before long, Amy’s hands are reaching up into Laurie’s hair, and his arms are circling her waist. One kiss turns into two, then three, as they slowly disentangle themselves to get some air.

Amy feels lightheaded, her body against Laurie’s, their foreheads pressed together and her eyes still closed. She can’t push it away this time. She wants to do that again. She wants to kiss Laurie forever, if that’s even possible. She just wants Laurie.

She doesn’t feel able to say anything right now, but Laurie beats her to it.

He says he’s been wanting to do that again since the last time, and Amy can’t help but agree.

She opens her eyes, sees Laurie, looking at her like he’s just had some revelation of his own, and Amy wonders just how long they’ve been headed here without realizing it. Before Christmas? Since Paris? Maybe even before that? Either way, standing here now, it feels inevitable. Her and Laurie, it’s just… It’s fitting. She doesn’t want to let go.

Amy drops the pretense.

“What are we doing, Laurie?” she asks, softly,

“I don’t know” he answers. “Do you want to stop?”

She shakes her head no, and he smiles.

“Can you just…” Amy adds. She needs to make sure. “This isn’t… It’s not the plan, right? It feels, different, at least for me, so just tell me, Laurie, is this still about that? Is it still about Jo, about getting things back to how they were?”

Laurie shakes his head, already interjecting as soon as Amy finishes speaking “No! No, it’s different for me too. It’s not… It’s certainly not about Jo. Amy, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you in days. Actually, probably years. I don’t want things to go back to how they were. Not if they can be better.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Amy can’t help but smile brightly. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you either. This feels… I don’t know what it is, but… Better, yeah. Better’s good.”

Laurie’s grinning right along with her, and he has, frankly, waited long enough, and dips his head to kiss her again.

When they finally separate, Amy asks “So, you still think we should go tell our families we’ve broken up?”

Laurie laughs, the whole plan he’d concocted feeling like a lifetime ago. “Well, maybe not right now. Or in the next few weeks. Or years. I don’t know, how about we just see where this goes?”

Amy grins. “That sounds good, yes.”

The two kiss one more time, blissfully unaware of the party going on around them, the Marches and Laurences and other guests toasting, and celebrating, and awaiting the New Year unfolding in front of them all.

[endious]

CHAPTER TWO.

FEATURING 、JEFF THE KILLER X F!READER

WARNINGS 、FOUL LANGUAGE, PERVERTED THOUGHTS, MENTIONS OF WEED, THREATS OF VIOLENCE

NAVIGATION 、THE SMELL OF IRON AND 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐘.

The next day was full of moving furniture into the house and unpacking the boxes piled up in the living room. It was tiring and Jeff could feel a sting of pain in his shoulder as he lifted up a box that had his name scribbled onto it and walked up the stairs towards the bedroom on the left. Liu claimed the ordinary looking bedroom with the gross stain but Jeff already had his eyes set on taking the darker and “scarier” (Liu’s words not his) looking room. 

He lets out a soft huff as he sets the box down by the bed, his bed is half made as the blanket drags down onto the floor and as gravity makes it slip completely off the mattress silently Jeff narrows his eyes at it before turning and walking out of the bedroom, closing the door behind himself before heading for the stairs again.

He stops for a moment when he sees that rabbit out of the corner of his eye. He turns his head and stops walking, hand on the railing as he raises a brow at the small white animal at Liu’s bedroom doorway, the door completely open and allowing Jeff to look into it and at what Liu had done to change it and morph it into a room that fit him.

Jeff scowls at the bunny. What was its name again? He didn’t really give a fuck. He took long strides towards it and picked the poor thing up before walking into Liu’s bedroom and spotting the small animal pin with the small door swung open. He scoffs with an eye roll as he walks towards it and shoves the rabbit into the pin before closing the small gate with a small click.

”What are you doing with Sully?” The sound of his brother makes him turn, an unamused look on his face as he stares at his younger brother standing rather awkwardly in the doorway.

He gives Liu a weird look before pushing his hands onto his knees and standing up. “It was just runnin’ around in the hall.” Liu seems surprised by his brother’s words and his eyes flick down to the rabbit before looking back up at Jeff. Jeff stalks towards him, silent and damn near menacing and it makes Liu shrink in on himself subconsciously as Jeff looms over him. “You’re welcome.” He huffs before storming past Liu and down the stairs like he had originally planned on doing in the first place.

He walks straight down into the living room where he sees both his parents discussing some topic he didn’t care to listen in on. He gives his dad a blank look and glances over at his mom that looks like she’s stressed out and it’s only 3pm.

She sees Jeff but doesn’t say anything to him. He just wanted to get out of the house as soon as possible. He slowly moved closer to the front door, each step calculated and silent as he inches closer and closer.

He makes a beeline for the wooden portal, walking in quick strides and as he grabs and twists the handle he hears the annoying voice of his father.

”Where do you think you’re goin’?” He says, nose turned upward and an expression of cockiness on his face that makes him look punchable in Jeff’s eyes.

”Outside.” Jeff replied, short n’ sweet. Laurence didn’t like that too much so Jeff fights back an eye roll as he turns halfway facing his father. “Gonna walk around the neighborhood, see if there’s anything happening. Y’know, like you’d expect me to.” The last sentence comes out in a hissed tone, an underlying cut to his voice as his brows furrow and he glares at his dad.

The man doesn’t say anything, an uncertain glint in his eyes as his posture grows rather uncomfortable and he clears his throat before looking over at his oldest son with a slight hint of concern, but not for Jeff. “Don’t stay out there too long… and don’t get into trouble.” Jeff scoffs and opens the door and leaves, walking down the creaky steps and down the small gravel trail.

He turns and heads left down the sidewalk, curiously looking at the house beside his. It looked rather normal, basic even. Nothing noteworthy about it so he turns his attention to the road and keeps walking, tugging something crumbled up in his front pocket out and flipping it open. He pulls a cigarette out from the wrinkled up small box and then shoves it back into it’s pocket before pulling a lighter from his other pocket.

He holds them in his hand, not too worried about lighting the deadly stick at the moment as he takes long and rather confident looking strides down the sidewalk. He reaches a four-way stop that leads off into three other directions but he turns and walks towards the right because he’d seen a gas station near the entrance of the neighborhood and wanted to just sneak something for himself. Stealing was bad but so what? He didn’t give two shits.

He sighs through his nose, looking down at the cigarette in his hand and lights it a second later, shoving the lighter into his pocket and taking a puff off the cig as he relaxes his shoulders. He blinks slowly, an unreadable expression on his face before he sees a figure off in the distance. He narrows his eyes trying to decipher who it was as he nears the person until they turn their head and look in his direction and he recognizes those wide doe eyes.

He bites back a grin and walks just the slightest bit faster toward her as he takes another inhale off the cigarette before blowing the cloud of smoke out.

She gives him a confused look as he stops beside her until he sees the sparkle or realization in her eyes. “You’re that guy…” She says barely above a whisper. Jeff chuckles and takes another drag off the cigarette.

”Who?” He grins and she blinks rapidly, stuttering and struggling to form words to which he laughs at as he throws his head back. “Relax, ‘m just messin’ with ya.”

She hums in acknowledgement, bashful as she stares down at the sidewalk and bites her lip. Did she realize how mesmerizing she was? Did she realize how badly he wanted to—

“Oh… You, uhm…” She’s too nervous to speak up and finish her sentence but her eyes flicker over the lit cigarette in his hand as she seems to shrink in on herself. Out of shyness? He hoped so. He liked making her feel like that and he’d only just met her.

He grins widely, corners of his eyes crinkling as he holds the cigarette loosely between his digits. “You don’t like smokin’?” He teases and the girl seems to become increasingly embarrassed the more he spoke to her and kept his eyes on her. Those pretty hands balled into fists by her sides as she stares in every direction but his.

”Sweet girl,” He takes a step towards her, flicking a bit of ash off his cigarette with a tap of his finger against the deadly stick before bringing it to his lips once more and taking a long drag. He leans down nearly eye level with her now and she finally, finally stares back at him, those pretty doe eyes focused on him and he feels a weird churning sensation in his gut that he chooses to ignore. He blows the smoke into her face, slowly so as to not completely suffocate her. Her face contorts in disgust, nose scrunching up as her hands wave at the air in front of her face with a small cough. When her eyes look back at his shortly after, brows furrowed in frustration as she opens her mouth to speak she falls silent when his nose brushes against hers. There was something in those blue eyes of his that dragged her deeper than she should’ve gone. He chuckles slightly as he stares at her with half lidded eyes. “you really shouldn’t be around me.”

She opens her mouth once more, a sound coming from her but she’s stopped once more by the sound of a car rolling to a stop on the road beside them. She turns her head slightly to look and it’s amusing how she seems to become shades lighter at the sight of the vehicle. The passenger window is rolled down and there was a face of a very disappointed woman in the driver’s seat staring back at the girl.

”Get in.” Is all the lady says and Jeff has half the mind to stand in the way and he thinks he’s probably already moving to do so without much thought when he feels a soft hand on his sleeved forearm, tugging on the white material. He glances down at her and she shakes her head slightly, just barely noticeable but he sees it and with reluctance he sighs and backs off, flicking more ash off the half used cigarette in his hand.

The girl scampers into the passenger seat, not even sparing Jeff a glance but the look of dread and embarrassment on her face makes him consider the possibility that it was her mother in that car and not some random bitch. He corrects himself and his thoughts as the car drives off and the woman gives him a suspicious look that makes him want to smash her skull into that steering wheel her pathetic hands were gripping tightly. Control yourself you dumb fuck, he thinks as he watches the car grow smaller in the distance.

He hums quietly to himself almost in defeat as he relaxes his shoulders and looks up at the sky as he takes another drag off the cigarette before throwing it off to the curb and walking down the sidewalk in the opposite direction the car had gone and towards the entrance of the neighborhood.

He crosses the road without a care of getting there any faster. He can imagine that girl hurrying over the road, holding her skirt to keep down as she scampered across to the other side. He can also imagine taking her to the back of this gas station and… Best not to think about that thought or else he’d have a problem to deal with when he got out of this cramped building.

The door swings open as he pulls it, a small ding sounding out from a speaker somewhere in the gas station as he walks in and talks a look around the place. There’s typical things like snacks, candy, random weird ass fidget toys for children and an assortment of drinks on the back wall of the place. It smelled like gasoline and weed and Jeff scrunches his nose up in disgust as he walks through the small aisles until he hears a snicker off to his left and glances over.

It’s in one of the corners of the store, three guys huddled near each other and that’s where the stench is so strong. Two of them look high as hell while the third glares over at Jeff as if he’s looking to get into a fight but Jeff looks down at the candy bars, trying to ignore the way his hands ball up into tight fists.

”Hey, weirdo.” One of them calls out and Jeff can feel his mood souring by the second. Footsteps get closer, only one person.. he could win if he had to fight whoever the punk was, hell, he could beat all of their asses if he wanted to.

”I’m talkin’ to you.” That irritating voice says again in an orderly tone and Jeff turns his head just enough to glare over at the individual. It was that dumb ass that was looking at him.

”What do you want, prick?” Jeff snaps in a low voice, there’s a violent edge to his tone as he glares up at the boy probably the same age as him. The guy only seems to take this as a sign to get more obnoxious and takes another step towards Jeff with a defiant look in his eyes, pupils blown wide and Jeff scoffs.

”You got a staring problem, huh? Freak?” The boy spats and Jeff stands up slowly, quiet as ever as he practically towers over the guy. His black hair is curtained over the death glare he gives and he contemplates whether he should punch his face in now or wait til they all walk out of the gas station.

Jeff leans down just a bit, brows furrowed and an enraged fire in his blue eyes as he grabs the boy by his navy colored jacket and jerks it up making the boy flinch.

”If you talk to me again, I will knock your fuckin’ teeth out. Got it?” Jeff says in a low whisper so no one else could hear. The high male seems to be in a daze though and so Jeff jerks him again and prepares his free hand to get ready to throw a few blows to the boy’s face. “Answer me, dipshit, or you’re gonna be in a lot of pain and your fuckin’ goons will hafta clean up the mess.” He threatens with a clenched jaw and the guy seems to come to his senses at that.

”A-alright dude! Chill, chill!” He stammers with his hands raised defensively in the air and Jeff lets him go after another angry huff. The boy wipes his jacket where Jeff had grabbed him and gives Jeff a dirty look before turning and mumbling something under his breath as he wobbles over to his friends that watched with confused looks.

Jeff glares over at them as he snatches a Twix off the shelf and shoves it into his hoodie pocket before walking back to the entrance and circling the shoplifting detectors while the cashier was distracted and walks out the door as it dings once more and he steps outside as a cool breeze passes.

He walks back into the neighborhood, holding an object in his hoodie pocket but it wasn’t the wrapper of the Twix that bumped against his left hand that held something much more deadly.

He doesn’t do anything with the object, just holds on to it, grips it tight in his hand as if it were a habit as he walks down the quiet sidewalk and back to the spot he’d seen the girl earlier. He grins like a creep to himself as he thinks about the outfit she was wearing. Fluffy sweater, hanging off one shoulder to show the bare skin there that he wanted to sink his teeth into. The frilly skirt she wore that didn’t do much to help her with the weather that seemed to get colder as the days passed. Those cute and pink converse she wore that had a few pins on them as if that was how she added her own artistic taste to the shoes. He’s so busy thinking about this little obsession— he thinks is normal— until it’s ripped from him and he sees a flash of black like a bomb went off in front of him. He groans quietly, right hand flying up to his head and clutching it tightly, gripping his hair and tugging slightly as pain pulses through his head and seeps down into his chest. He can’t see very well and he’s unsure if what he’s seeing is even real.

There’s a lot of red, the color is everywhere and he thinks he’s lost his mind when he hears a horrific scream somewhere to his left. He turns slightly, face scrunching up and relaxing every few seconds as the throb continues like a steady downpour throughout his entire body. What the fuck? He blinks a few times, squinting his eyes as he looks at a blurry figure in the distance that gets bigger and bigger until he realizes the thing was coming towards him.

”Oh, shit—“ “HELP ME!” The voice of a girl screams out as the figure gets closer and he feels his blood run cold at the familiar voice. He feels adrenaline the second and stumbles a bit on his feet as he suddenly feels lightheaded. He feels angry, confused and a newfound feeling of fear but it only lasts for a second and when she had screamed out. He blinks a few times and it feels like his body has been hit by lightning, his ears ringing so loud he feels like his eardrums were going to burst any second and he takes a deep inhale as he opens his eyes again and sees white for a few seconds until his eyes adjust to the bright light the sun above casts. 

He looks around utterly confused. Everything looks normal again and he feels a rapid thumb in his chest, pressing his hand to it only to realize it’s his own heart doing that. He feels like he can't breathe properly as he inhales and exhales through his mouth a few times like he ran a marathon until he forces himself to take slow breaths through his nose. He calms down in record time, shoulders relaxed and it’s now he realizes he’s on the ground and no longer standing as he sits up and stares down at the sidewalk. He looks up and straight ahead where he’d seen the girl running from and he sees the street he lives on. He makes a weird face, a brow raised as he examines the area for anything suspicious. There’s nothing and so he stands to his feet with rather wobbly legs at first and sighs through his nose.

What a weird fuckin’ experience. He thinks and he hears something hollow drop to his right. He turns his head and looks over only to see a small child with his mouth hung open and wide eyes. His arms are out in front of himself and a small plastic bucket rolls on the sidewalk in front of him.

”You’re weird.” The child blurts out, eyes still wide and mouth open as he stares up at Jeff. It’s silent and neither of them move nor do they look away from each other as if they're in an unspoken staring contest.

The kid suddenly picks up the bucket and turns on his heel, nearly falling over and running back into the yard of the house he was beside and up to the front door and opens it before going inside. Jeff shrugs the weird interaction off and walks back down the street to his house with an odd sense of paranoia hanging in the air above him.

It’s only midday and he’s experiencing such an odd event. He laughs at himself and shakes his head as he walks up the steps of his house and grabs the doorknob.

“It’s probably nothin’.” He says to himself before opening the door and walking in, feeling a static-like noise in his head that he’s quick to drown out with a playlist that consists of all his favorite nu metal bands as he shoves earbuds into his ears.

[theteasetwrites]

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon | S1E1 Thoughts

Okay I am gonna list all my positive and negative thoughts regarding each episode (I know no one asked but I feel like this is the only thing I am somewhat “qualified” to talk about ad nauseam on here).

⚠️ SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️ do not read below the cut unless you’re okay with spoilers

Positive Thoughts

Norman’s acting is so good like?? Listen we all know he’s not Laurence Olivier and he doesn’t claim to be but goddamnit he nails the subtleties of Daryl’s expressions and conveys his emotions really well I think! I’m very impressed

Daryl hot

Obviously the cinematography, setting, and aesthetics are really cool. It’s both gritty but pretty!! I love the gothic architecture and how OLD everything looks, which is only exacerbated by the apocalyptic feel

Everyone in the cast is so good in terms of acting (well, I mean… Laurent is certainly there but he’s a child so we’ll be lenient)

Daryl hot

The walkers are great as usual. I love the burners. Really interesting! I’m kind of wondering if the “experiments” the people on the ship refer to relate to the burners? Maybe they’re making them like that idk.

I love the religious imagery. We have had cults and stuff in TWDU before but I don’t think we’ve had this Catholic vibe going on. I’m a sucker for anything nun related because I have a weird infatuation with them, so I’m all for it.

DARYL BATHTUB SCENE??? They put that in for the girls and the gays and we are LIVING for it

Daryl hot

Daryl is so reminiscent of early seasons TWD era with his witty lines and snark remarks. I feel like we don’t get to see this side of Daryl very often anymore, but now that he has his own show and is THE main character, we get to see those sides that have been neglected again. I also love how much he sort of scoffs at the nuns and their religion. Atheist Daryl we love to see it

It’s cool seeing people in France dealing with the same things our characters have dealt with since the beginning. It’s interesting to see these new parts of the world in this universe for sure

Daryl hot

I honestly just love thinking about how when Daryl gets home he is gonna have such a crazy ass story to tell everyone! It’s gonna be so cute to see him telling all the kids about how heroic he is and ugh yessss

Daryl deserves his own show. He deserves to be THE main character. People who said he can’t lead a show? Nah. Reconsider

I also love that Daryl MIGHT potentially save the world. Cool asf. And if anyone from the original series should save the world, I think it’s him.

Daryl hot

Negative Thoughts:

Okay. I have some very petty/subjective critiques. I realize a lot of you guys probably disagree with me but that’s okay! Don’t read my negative thoughts if you aren’t prepared to be annoyed with me lol. Once again, a lot of these are super petty/nitpicky

First thing that bothers me is that Daryl says he is from the Commonwealth. No. He is from Alexandria, thank you very much. Well, at least he should be. He should’ve been living at Alexandria imo but the finale didn’t really make it explicitly clear where he was living in that year time jump. Basically I just hate the Commonwealth because I have zero attachment to it and it’s just a stupid ass place that I wanna forget about

Daryl seeing Carol in his haze 🙄 … just annoys me solely because Carol annoys me. They could’ve just shown Judith because that would’ve made more sense to me. But don’t get me started, I don’t even want Carol in season 2. Anyway.

Laurent isn’t terrible but he’s kind of annoying in that “I’m so smart I know everything” way. Just very annoying smart kid at school who everyone hated vibes. Plus I just don’t think it’s realistic that he would be THAT smart just from being raised in a convent of nuns

I also fail to understand what they’re doing with Laurent. Is he just some kid that the nuns think is the messiah or is he ACTUALLY the messiah? Like are they gonna throw in a whole other supernatural religious element? Because Laurent conveniently knows Judith’s line from the finale “you deserve a happy ending too.” Right down to the letter. I find it cheesy as hell because I’m so tired of these blatant in your face parallels that are trying to be clever, which always involve children too like we get it children are basically the duck tape of TWDU. Don’t know what to do for this plot? Throw some kids in there!

Neither Positive nor Negative Thoughts:

I don’t trust the nuns. I think they’re gonna use Daryl to get what they want and they don’t really care about getting him home. Worse, I think it could be possible that Isabelle won’t let him get home. She already tried to keep him from using the radio. I’m not saying I hate her character or anything (I actually like her so far… as long as she stays friendly and not… overly friendly), I just think she’s way too invested in this ���messiah” stuff to actually care about Daryl so I fear she will take advantage of him. We shall see.

Ok, those are pretty much all of my thoughts!

[iminmywritersdungeon]

things I’m going to put in my mcd rewrite when I finally have the time and energy to actually write it

(This is mostly so I have my notes in one place, I don’t feel like making a google doc)

List under cut bc it got really long. Might add more the more I think about this.

Aph being seven feet tall and really really buff, but she doesn’t realize how strong she is. Everyone else does, however, and before they realize she’s a complete sweetheart they are terrified of her after watching her accidentally throw Garroth across a room.

She feels very much like a deity to anyone that isn’t her. Very…human and a little to the left, yknow? Sometimes in the dark her body gives off a little light, she hardly needs sleep, she can do incredible amounts of labor in really short amounts of time.

Because of her memory loss, it takes her a while to really connect with the villagers. She starts fixing up the village not because she wants things to be nice, but because they keep inconveniencing her. The roads are splintered, so she brings stones from the river to pave it. She pulls the weeds because they make her legs itch. When people start praising her for helping them out, she realizes how good it feels, and keeps doing it.

One of the things I’ve always wondered about since I first watched mcd was “why does no one complain about Aph always walking into their homes and starting conversation?” And then I thought “oh, she just. Doesn’t register those boundaries. She wouldn’t mind if anyone came into her house whenever they felt like it, so she does the same. The townspeople think it’s a fair trade, to have a kind lord that cares deeply, sacrificing a little privacy now and then” it goes back to her not really getting other humans on a very specific level. She connects with them emotionally very easily and she’s very empathetic and helpful, but concepts like rest and privacy just don’t make much sense to her, so she throws them out whenever necessary

Aphmau is still called aphmau because I think it’s a nice name. No shade to to people that rename her, I do get it, but I like Aphmau

She does however, pick the name from one of emmalyn’s romance novels.

Speaking of emmalyn! She’s the only one currently with a spare room and a roof that doesn’t leak, so they have Aphmau placed with her. Aph being basically nocturnal and a little overbearing causes em to hate her right off the bat. Aphmau struggles with reading quite a bit once she’s in her new time period (I think it’s believable that the language might stay similar enough in a place like Ru’aun that she wouldn’t need to relearn how to speak, but I think the written language would have shifted enough that she can only recognize about half the letters) so emmalyn decides to teach her to read out of spite

Garrance. because I feel like it. And I like them

Scene where Garroth is treating Laurence’s wounds after the nether and they’re very tender and soft

Zane being completely surprised his brother managed to pull anyone let alone this hottie but he can’t say anything about it because it would ruin his mystique so he’s just occasionally questioning things about their relationship

Katemau because I think it could be fascinating and if I end up making Katelyn really devout then I could also do a healthy dose of sacrelige

Kawaii~Chan x Lucinda. Ship name? Fuck if I know. I don’t care for MyStreet very much but I know her name is Nana so I think it would be interesting to have Kawaii~Chan be the persona she’s developed for her maid cafe, and when she comes to Phoenix Drop and sees things turn dire, she feels a pressure to keep up that persona, because they need someone to be cheerful sometimes. Enter Lucinda, who gives no shits, and hates when people mask themselves because it just forces them to not be straightforward. They clash and then they kiss it’s that simple.

Meowki is there he is aphmaus demon cat that hates literally everyone including her, but she loves him so much

Thorgi is also there, he’s a stray that Aph found and took care of. In general, animals tend to flock to her, and she’s really good with them, although she tends to leave it to Kiki

Aphmau feels something…wrong every time she looks at the Irene statue. Like she’s missing a part of herself

Big weird memory spell that’s making everyone forget the old lord in kind of a haze, until Aph finds his cabin and his journal and knows something is off. Still, there’s nothing she can do.

Chicken shaman

Aaron and Travis are kind of dating, kind of fuckbuddies. Both of them need a way to let off some steam and eventually they get sort of feelings. Ask either of them to explain what they are they’ll shrug and go beat each other up

No I don’t know how this would all play out with the timeskip. It’s fine shut up

Aph gets a giant sword and it drags on the ground but never dulls or tarnishes, somehow. It intimidates the fuck out of everyone she meets

Sylvia and Kimberly. Real ones remember Sylvia and Kimberly

Lord Burt just ending up in a random prison in the ground that’s staying I think it’s funny as fuck

Laurence and Garroth had to sleep in the same sleeping bag to conserve body heat in the snow wink wink nudge nudge

Malachi connects a lot to Levin as a brother, and Laurence as a father, that much I want very clear, but he also just latches onto Garroth for no reason and refuses to let go at all. Garroth doesn’t mind but he does think it’s weird

DONNA I FORGOT ABOUT DONNA. The water villages are less villages and more like settlements. Donna’s dad was from there and she moved to get away from her mom. Still, she hates it but doesn’t have the knowledge or resources to go anywhere better. Enter Aphmau, who is exploring to her heart’s content and finds a water settlement and helps Donna from getting stuck. They get to talking and Aph invites Donna back to Phoenix drop. They live together while Aphmau builds Babe House, aka house for women to stay together because their homes are falling apart. After seeing Aph go above and beyond for her village, Donna decides to learn medicine to try and help out, since this is before Zoey and Garroth would be the only one with healing knowledge

Aph likes to set people up because she has zero filter. She sees Corey and Emma making eyes at each other and drags them into the same corner and says “talk” and leaves them alone

Ok I think that’s it for now.

Oh god what have I done

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

Okay, but is it weird to anyone else that as soon as Garroth back from Irene’s Realm that he faced no real consequences for his actions. Garroth didn’t confess to Aph until season 2, so in season 1 when he saw Laurance kissing her or well a fake he didn’t have any right to get upset. Garroth hadn’t said anything so why be so mad ? So he betrays everybody causing Aph, Laurence, Emmy, Kenmur, and even Aaron to miss out on 15 years of overworld time. 15 entire years because he was jealous of a woman he didn’t even confess to. Aph missed her sons grow up, her dogs lives, several close friends lives or flat out died, growing and maintaining her village. Laurance missed seeing his sister take lord ship, his adoptive father/Hayden after joe’s death, protecting his new village and friends. Kenmur missed Cadazen taking lord ship, his rival/mentor Hayden’s death, and whatever the hell happened to Gale who raised him after his parents died. Emmy missed all her friends in her home village and whatever family or other friends all either died or moved on. Aaron lost everyone but 15 years is a long time he could have found some sort of healing in that time. After all that Garroth comes back guilt ridden but everybody just lets it go. Like okay you just betrayed everybody for a horrible reason just to be accepted back care free. Sorry, for the rant I wonder how you’re going to handle it in your rewrite.

I think I’ve brought this up before, so I am very passionate about this clearly

Yeah it’s weird. Like sure he shows remorse but that’s not… that doesn’t fix anything. He’s still caused that harm.

If it was a situation of ‘oh Aph didn’t do anything straight away bc she was grieving and pregnant, she’d need her entire support system’ I guess I’d accept that answer. But I don’t like it.

Because

He deserves to be held accountable for stealing a girl’s WHOLE life over a KISS

[munsonsmixtapes]

If We Have Each Other

Theodore "Laurie" Laurence x fem!reader

cw: mention of death and grief, hurt/no comfort

This idea is brought to you by the lovely @lillypad910 who suggested that I write this while we were watching Little Women (2019) together!

The clouds above looked particularly gray as you stood by the casket, your eyes brimming with tears. You almost felt as if you had been hallucinating because of how unreal everything had felt. And maybe that was just because of your lack of sleep. When was the last time you had gotten a full night’s worth? You looked around at the sea of black, looking for the familiar face of the friend you had grown to love. You spotted Amy immediately and she made a beeline for you. 

She took your hands and you could see that her eyes were also misty, that light that filled them no longer there. What had happened was so horrible and you were almost refusing to accept that it was actually real. That had made you feel better despite how unhealthy it had been to do so.

You avoided Amy’s eye contact, knowing that if you saw her cry, you would as well. But he was quick to hand you her handkerchief, but watching your hands shake as you reached for it, she took it upon herself to help. She lifted your veil ever so slightly as she dabbed at your cheeks. This was the worst she had ever seen you and hated that it had to be this way. She knew that losing a husband wasn’t the same as losing a sister, but she knew that they were very similar on the pain scale. 

“Come here,” she urged and you threw yourself into her arms, burying your face into her shoulder as sobs raked through you. Her hands moved up and down your back as she whispered to you, reminding you that you were allowed to cry as much as you wanted. Because in her eyes, it didn’t matter that you didn’t love Jaques romantically. He was still your husband and the closest thing you had ever had to a lover. 

You looked over her shoulder to see Fred standing a few feet away, giving the two of you some space, but you waved him over. The three of you had gotten so close since you had moved to Paris and he had been so good to Jaques. You liked him for Amy and were looking forward to them finally tying the knot. And you were just glad that she had finally moved on from-

“If there’s anything I can do please let me know,” She said once you had pulled away, looping her arm through Fred’s. Amy had already done so much to help you through your hard time and you felt like you couldn’t possibly ask her to do anything else. Well, the only other thing you would have asked her to do was talk to- 

“You’ve already done so much,” you told her, pulling her in for a tight hug. “I mean, you helped me arrange this whole thing.” She had taken it upon herself to help you with your ever growing list when you couldn’t even get yourself to get out of bed. She had helped you change and everything since you had refused help from the people who had worked in the house. 

“And it was the least I could do considering the circumstances.” You felt a tear run down your cheek and she was quick to wipe it away with the pad of her thumb. It was as if it was all settling in. Finally. Yes, you had cried in your bed for days, but being there…at the funeral…it was like a punch to the gut. 

“I just wish-“ you cut yourself, biting down on your lip to stop yourself from speaking. You couldn’t even utter his name because of how upset you were. Amy’s eyes widened as she stared back at you. She had known that the two of you had a small falling out, but that was years ago. You had been inseparable your whole lives and now you weren’t speaking? Something clearly had been wrong. 

“So he doesn’t-“ She paused, not wanting to finish her thought. She didn’t need to. You knew what she was getting at and she could tell that you didn’t want to speak about it. And she didn’t feel like it was the right time to ask anyway considering the circumstances. 

“No,” you shook your head. “He doesn’t. And he won’t as long as I have anything to say about it.” 

“Y/n,” she gave you a pointed look. “We’re talking about-”

Before- Age Sixteen

“Laurie!” You called up the stairs and he appeared at the banister, looking down at you with his signature boyish smile. 

“You called?” He asked as he slid down the railing of the staircase and you rolled your eyes. He was always doing things without another thought and you were always afraid of him getting hurt. He was just too impulsive for his own good, rushing to do things that he hadn’t thought heavily about and you thought that one of those days, it would come back and bite him. And you kind of hoped it would because then maybe he would use his brain for more than a nanosecond. 

“I’ve been waiting for you for twenty minutes,” you told him, crossing your arms over your chest and tapping your foot against the hardwood floor. 

Mr. Brooke was going to be there any second and you wanted to be ready, writing some poetry to keep your mind occupied. You quickly hurried into the room and pulled your book over to sit on the desk in front of you and flipped it open to the page you had bookmarked. 

“Time got away from me,” he replied as he shut the door. “And he’s not even here yet,” he said and sat in the chair next to yours. He scooted it closer so that the arm of it was right against yours. He always wanted to be close to you. So close that you were touching, loving to feel your warm skin against his. It didn’t matter the body part, but he favored your hands, loving that there was always a marking from your pencil that had always rubbed off on him and the callouses from where you held your pencil or quill. 

Laurie was always the first person you wanted to read your poetry. You’d race down the hall no matter the hour and burst into his room with that adorable smile on your face. You’d stand in front of his bed and read it out to him as he’d look at you like you had hung the moon. 

And he would listen intently, soaking up every single word, always there to applaud you once you were done or give some constructive criticism where you needed it. He would try to convince you to make a career out of it, maybe selling some of your work, but you always shut him down. You told him that you didn’t have time to do such a thing even though you had nothing but. Because if you were being honest, you just wanted to keep it all to yourself. It was all personal, very self-reflective and you weren’t sure you wanted to share that kind of information with strangers. 

You felt Laurie rest his chin on your shoulder as he read along with you, something that the two of you often did together. He would sometimes make you read to him as he enjoyed the stories and also just loved hearing your voice. It comforted him and made him feel at ease as he often fell asleep before you had even finished the chapter. 

“When’s Mr. Brooke supposed to be here?” He asked as he reached up to turn the page before letting his hand rest on top of yours. Your skin was suddenly buzzing as you were very aware of it. It was soft and warm and you hated how much you felt like you were going to swoon just from his touch. 

“Any minute now,” you replied, trying to focus on the words on the page, but how could you when he was touching you like that? 

You felt a little pathetic for being in love with someone who didn’t reciprocate your feelings, but it was hard not to. Laurie was so sweet and caring and really the only person who truly knew you. And he had cared for you so much as had his grandfather since he had been your primary caretaker. 

Together, they had given you more than you could have ever asked for, treating you like one of their own. Even though he hadn’t been around much, Mr. Laurence had still been like a father figure to you. Anytime he had traveled, he had always brought you back the same thing, a journal for your poetry.

“For your excellent words,” he’d say, holding the thing out to you. And you’d take it gratefully every time, accompanied by a tight hug before racing up to your room to write the thought that had been in your head all morning. 

“What are you thinking about?” Laurie asked, turning to look at the concentrated look on your face. He could just tell that you weren’t actually reading, but in your head about something. 

“Nothing,” You waved him off and he squeezed your hand, making your thoughts even more painful. You couldn’t possibly tell him the truth, not now, not ever. It was much too painful to think about what could have been and what wouldn’t happen because there was absolutely no way that he could have felt the same…right? 

“Could it be about this?” He asked, slipping your poem out from underneath the book. A look of horror flashed across your face but you hid it well, trying to conceal the fact that your world could have possibly crashed down as soon as he read the words. There was no way you could recover as soon as he saw what-or who-it was about. 

“A suitor perhaps?” He asked, his eyes lighting up with mischief just like always. He was unknowingly being so cruel, teasing you about your crush on him. But at the same time, you wondered how he couldn’t have seen it, how it wasn’t so obvious. You knew how you looked at him and he had either been more stupid than you thought or was just simply ignoring it. And you didn’t know which one was worse.

“There’s no suitor,” you told him as you reached for the paper, but he still held it out of your grasp, reading directly from the page and you had never wished to disappear more than in that moment. 

“No suitor?” He asked with a dramatic gasp. “Then who has the green eyes?” 

You, you wanted to tell him. It’s you, Laurie and I cannot stand another moment without knowing if you feel the same. That was what you would have told him if you had even a sliver of the confidence he had. That was the only instance where you had been envious of him. 

You tried to reach for the page again, but he had raced out of the room in the blink of an eye. You could hear his laughter echoing down the hall and you felt your stomach ache thinking about him laughing at your poem, telling you how silly it was for you to have a crush on him and that he most certainly did not feel the same way. It was your worst nightmare. That very thing had woken you up more times than you could count which was one of the main reasons why you had been so quiet about the whole thing. 

As soon as you stepped out into the hall, you could see him at the end by the stairs, reading it aloud as soon as he saw you. You tried to stop him, but it was too late. It was as if your nightmare had come to life and you were covering your ears to stop it. You could see his lips moving, but nothing was coming out. Good. Because maybe if you hadn’t heard it, it wasn’t actually happening. You shut your eyes tight to act as if you weren’t there.

But then you felt his hand, moving it away from your ear while his own rested on your cheek, the other holding your poem. They were cool against your warm cheeks, but you still refused to look at him. You couldn’t. 

“Open your eyes,” he whispered, but you wouldn’t listen, shutting them even tighter and your heart leapt as his laughter rang throughout the hallway. “Please look at me.” Now he was pleading and you couldn’t help but obey, slowly opening your eyes to see him smiling at you. A wide grin spread across his cheeks. 

“There she is,” he said, his thumb stroking your cheek. “Is this about me?” He asked, holding up the page as his eyes searched yours as if the answer had been there instead of on your lips. 

You refused to answer. Even though there was no malicious intent behind those eyes, you couldn’t get yourself to tell him the truth, that you had been in love with the boy your whole life just hoping that he felt the same. You watched him chase after multiple girls over the years while he only saw you as a friend and that broke you. But seeing the look on his face, you were beginning to think that maybe, just maybe you were wrong. 

“So what if it is?” You whispered, trying to convince yourself that you didn’t care about what he had to say, but god, did you. You cared more about that than anything else, just wanting to get it all over with. 

“Then I would-I would ask if I could kiss you.” Your eyes widened at his words, your mouth agape. You never thought he’d ever utter those words so you had to hold onto him just to prove to yourself that you weren’t dreaming. 

You watched him leaning closer to you, closing the gap between your bodies as he shuffled closer, the two of you coming toe to toe. Your eyes fluttered shut as his mouth was so close that you could feel his breath fanning your face. His other hand rested against your back which you were grateful for as your legs felt like jelly, weakening by the second. 

But then the front door opened and Mr. Brooke stepped inside, causing the two of you to jump away from each other. Laurie turned to greet the tutor, knowing he needed to be polite and when he turned back to you, you were gone, the door to the study slamming shut in the distance. 

After

Laurie’s heart beat rapidly in his chest as he knocked on the door in front of him. He wasn’t normally nervous about things, but he had to admit that he felt like he was going to throw up. He never just showed up at someone’s home unannounced, but this was the only circumstance that he thought it was okay. 

Once about a minute passed, he turned to leave only for the door to be ripped open. He whipped around to see a little boy, certainly no older than three and a woman who was rushing after him. He figured he must have had the wrong house. Maybe Fred had written the address down incorrectly.

“William Theodore,” she scolded and his stomach fell as his ears picked up on the middle name and the bright green eyes staring back at him. Certainly he couldn’t have been-no. It just wasn’t possible…right? 

The woman scooped the boy into her arms and as soon as Laurie got a glimpse of her face, it all clicked in his brain. God, you were stunning. You were a woman now and he couldn’t seem to pull his eyes from you. His gaze caught the ring on your marriage finger and he honestly thought he was going to be sick. 

He had been at the wedding, but the whole thing had been fuzzy as he had thrown back glasses of wine as if they were water. And he honestly only really remembered what Meg had said to him as she had pulled him aside. Those words swirled around in his head more often than he would have liked and he hated that he had been so selfish as to ruin what was supposed to be the best day of your life.

It could have been you that voice whispered in his ear and he didn’t even want to think about it. For once, he was going to think about someone who wasn’t himself. He was trying to be there for you, to help you through your hard time. He kind of wished that he had heard the news from you, though and not Amy. 

But he didn’t think he should have been allowed to choose that as he had been the one to destroy your friendship. He had let you slip through his fingers and he was the one who was upset? He didn’t think he had the right to be. The only person he should have been upset with was himself. 

He had been blaming you the whole time because he didn’t want to accept that he was the one at fault. He was never good at accepting responsibility and this was no exception. Even when you had called him out on it, he was still in denial, throwing insults your way, not even looking you in the eyes because he couldn’t stand to see you cry. 

As soon as you caught sight of him, a lump formed in your throat. The years had been kind to him as he looked like he hadn’t aged a day. The only difference was that he looked a little taller and tired. His hair was a mess and the obvious bags under his eyes signified that he hadn’t gotten much sleep. 

You set the boy onto his feet and crouched down to his height, whispering something to him before he ran off, leaving you alone with the boy-or you supposed man-who had once been your everything, your world. And now you didn’t know a damn thing about him. Apparently he didn’t want you to know considering the fact that he had never gotten your letters and his own seemed to come to a complete stop. 

“I’m so sorry about Jaques,” he apologized, his hands moving to rest behind his back. The sorrow on his face showed you that he meant it and not just saying it because he felt like he had to like everyone else. “Oh,” he said before reaching into the inside of his coat before retrieving an envelope with your name scrawled on top of it. 

You hesitantly took it, feeling what was inside and handed it back. You didn’t need his pity. Between the loss of your parents and husband, you had had enough of that to last a lifetime and you didn’t think you could possibly take anymore, especially not from Theodore Laurence.

“I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity, y/n,” he shook his head. “I just figured that you could use it.”

“You really think you can just show up on my doorstep after years of not speaking to me and expect me to forgive you because you gave me some money.” You were really angry now, a fire in your eyes that he never expected to be on the receiving end of. You looked like you could have exploded any second and if he had had any sense, he would have left you alone.

“It’s not-”

“Then what is it, Laurie?” You spit, your voice getting louder as you waved your hands around. “Why are you here?” He thought it was obvious, but he knew that wasn’t what you were meaning. You were really asking him why he was there right then. 

“I wanted to be here for you.” His voice was now small and you almost felt bad for him. Almost. But the man didn’t need you to feel sorry for him as he had already done that himself. Throwing himself a pity party the only way Laurie knew how. 

“Amy already has that covered since you didn’t seem to want to stay in contact with me considering you never responded to my letters.” The words were filled with venom and Laurie didn’t think that was very fair. How was he supposed to read your letters when they had been sent to his home address? 

“I was in London,” he responded as he furrowed his eyebrows. He thought you had known that and had been upset with him for some reason. He really missed seeing the envelopes with your return address on them, his name in the pretty, loopy letters. 

“That would have been nice to know. You’ve been acting so strange since-” Now you were getting upset, the years of bottled up anger towards him exploding right before his eyes. And he was going to stand there and take it, not wanting to be a coward anymore. 

“You’re the one who’s been acting strange, y/n,” he pointed at you, his voice getting a little loud for your liking. “You left me with no warning. Just fled to Paris without a single word with your new husband.” The way he said “husband” like it was a curse word boiled your blood. He had no right to be jealous and you refused to feel pity for him. 

“Laurie…” you tried to think of how you could tell him the truth without completely revealing everything. You could imagine Jaques standing right beside, giving your hand a squeeze, telling you that it was okay. “It was-” you paused. “I married him so he could be with his lover without raising suspicion.”

“His lover? What are you talking about?” He was utterly dumbfounded. Since when had Jaques had a lover that wasn’t you? That man had looked at you, well-the way you looked at Laurie. How was it possible that he didn’t love you? You were the most amazing person he had ever met and now you had someone else, mourning him in fact. And Laurie was there to do what, exactly? To tell you that he loved you too? That he had finally decided that you were worth his time? He was afraid that ship had already sailed.

“Before Jaques passed away…he and William were in a romantic relationship.” The way you had said the words caused him to assume that he should have already known that fact. And maybe he should have, but he supposed it was too late now. He just stared at you, completely blindsided by the information, blinking multiple times to let it really sink in. 

“So you weren’t-and he’s not-” he pointed to the room where Liam had been and you just shook your head, feeling a lump forming in your throat as you thought about that night. 

“No,” you shook your head, afraid to look him in the eye, but he stepped forward, taking your hands in his. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked and just from his tone, the question sounded pained, his voice so soft that you almost didn’t hear him. No, you weren’t going to feel bad for him. He had brought all of that upon himself.

“Because it’s none of your business.” He clearly didn’t like what you had to say because he was so close now that you could feel his breath on your face. If you had just leaned in- No. You had to physically restrain yourself from reaching out to him. 

You wanted him to hold you, to pull you in for a kiss. Despite your anger towards him, you always found yourself melting at the sight of him. He could just simply say “I’m sorry,” and there you were, throwing yourself into his arms with a tight hug, everything completely forgiven. But not this time. You were stronger now, suddenly feeling nothing for the man in front of you. At this point, you didn’t even recognize him because he was not the boy you had grown up with. Whoever that person was had been long gone. 

“None of my business?” He asked, his voice full of offense. “He has my eyes!” And that was the most painful part of it all, looking in your son’s eyes and seeing the color of the irises you wanted to stare into forever. It was almost like a cruel joke that had been played on you that Liam had the eyes of his father, the man who you had been in love with. A constant reminder of him and the fall out between the two of you. That he wasn’t the one who you had married and built a life with.

“And your name. I at least gave you that even though you don’t deserve it.” And Laurie didn’t think he deserved it. From the way he treated you, he didn’t think he deserved anything. Especially not from you. He was honestly surprised you had even let him in and that just showed how much better you were than him. 

Because if the roles had been reversed, Laurie would have slammed the door in your face, not even wanting to look you in the eye. He was a coward to his core and he knew it. If you were the one begging for forgiveness, he would have just run in the opposite direction because he didn’t want to hear what you had to say. Because in his head, he was always right, but now, standing in front of you, he was finally admitting to himself that he was wrong. Admitting to you that he was wrong. 

“Now I think it’s best if you go,” you told him as you heard Liam begin to cry. “You’ve already overstayed your welcome.” Out of all the horrible things you had said to him over the years, that might have been the worst of all. You had always begged him to stay the night in your room when you couldn’t sleep, always asking him to stay with you at the parties you had accompanied him to…and now you were asking him to go. Permanently. You might as well have just stabbed him in the chest as it would have hurt a lot less. 

Without a word, Laurie headed towards the door, actually feeling the bile burn his throat this time. His eyes were brimming with tears as he turned back one last time as he opened the door, watching you gather his son in your arms as his cries stopped instantly. He always knew you would have been a good mother and seeing you with Liam, it was confirmed. 

So he was off without another word, feeling like his heart had just been ripped out and he supposed it was just what he had deserved as he had made you feel the same more times than he could count. Perhaps Meg had been right in telling him that he had missed his chance. Perhaps he should have just given up altogether since you had finally given up on him. 

Before- Age Fifteen

“I promise I’m okay, Theo,” you assured the boy who kneeled at your bedside. Laurie’s hands were holding yours and he was looking at you softly. It was just a cold, but he insisted on staying by your side until you had gotten better. 

“Believe me, I want you to go more than anyone else, but the doctor said you have to stay in bed.” He removed one of his hands from yours and reached up to wipe some sweat away from your warm forehead. It made his heart ache seeing you like that, but he could tell that you were closer to getting better. In the morning, he was certain that you would be good as new.

“So I had that beautiful dress made for nothing?” You averted your gaze to the dress that was hanging in your wardrobe. It was an extravagant blue thing that Mr. Laurence had insisted on spending a little extra on just to make you happy. And it was just going to sit there and collect dust.

“There will be plenty more parties,” he reminded you as his hand slid down your cheek. Why did he have to be so sweet? It just made it that much easier to fall in love with him. 

“But who will you dance with?” You asked, trying your best to sit up, but your arms were too weak. 

“Easy,” he said as he stood, lifting you with ease to help you sit up. “And I won’t dance with anyone,” he shook his head. “I’ll just sulk in the corner.” You didn’t like hearing that. You wanted him to have fun even if it was without you. Even if it hurt your feelings more than you would have ever admitted. 

“No, you shouldn’t do that,” you assured him as you reached for his hands again, wanting to feel his warmth. “Dance with whoever you like. I promise I don’t mind.” But you did mind. You didn’t want him to dance with anyone else, feeling nothing but jealousy coursing through you just thinking about it. 

“But they won’t be as good as you.” You just laughed at that and it was music to Laurie’s ears. He always loved hearing it, especially in times like those when you weren’t feeling your best. He loved being the little light in your darkness. 

“Theo, we both know I’m a terrible dancer. You don’t have to lie.” 

“Oh, I’d never lie,” he replied, bringing your hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to them. “I’ll be home early to read to you.” He finally stood as Mr. Laurence informed him that the carriage was ready for him. “I promise.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and he was off. 

Laurie had been right in thinking that the party was dull without you. Many women had wanted to talk to him, wanted to dance, even, but he had turned them all down, taking sips of wine when no one was looking then hurried off behind one of the curtains that had concealed a room. He had made himself at home, hoping that no one would bother him, realizing that you were the one who had even made those social events bearable. 

All he wanted to do was go straight home and pull you to his chest as he hummed the songs from the party that he promised he would remember for you. That was always one of your favorite parts and Laurie had refused to let you miss it just because you weren’t there. 

Just as he was considering sneaking out before anyone could catch him, someone had backed into the room, causing him to stand up as they bumped into the chair where he had been sitting.  The stranger turned around and he had been taken aback by her beauty. 

“Oh, sorry,” she apologized, putting her hand up. “I didn’t know anyone was here.”

“Not at all,” Laurie replied, taking her in. He had recognized her as one of the March girls, but had no idea which one she was as there were four of them. “S-stay if you like.” 

“I won’t disturb you?” She asked and he could see that she was feeling unsure. He wanted to have company and she seemed nice enough. He just wanted to stop thinking about you for once. Even when you weren’t around, you had invaded the boy’s thoughts, always worrying about you or wondering what you were up to.

“No. I didn’t know anyone here. I felt rather strange.” He felt strange because you weren’t there. You weren’t there to dance with him and he hated that he was forced to be alone. But he thought that perhaps he wasn’t lonely now thanks to the March girl.

“So do I.”

“Miss March, isn’t it?” He asked, finally looking her in the eyes.

“Yes, Mr. Laurence,” she replied as she put her hand out for him to shake and he took it. “But I am only Jo.” Jo. He thought the name suited her despite not actually knowing her. She seemed so different from the girls he had met, so unapologetically herself. She reminded him of you and he decided that he had to have the two of you meet.

“And I’m not Mr. Laurence,” he said as he shook her hand with a smile. “I am only Laurie.” 

“Where’s the girl?” she asked and the boy felt his cheeks blush, realizing how obvious he seemed about his pouting. 

“Girl?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows, trying to figure out who she could have been referring to. His brain seemed to empty as soon as she had stepped into the room. 

“The one I always see through the window in your house when I pass by it.” She was talking about you. Of course! What other girl could she have possibly been talking about?

“Oh.” His face lit up at the mere mention of you. He loved talking about you any chance he got. “That’s my friend, y/n. She was supposed to be here, but she’s sick.” Jo watched the way his face changed when he talked about you, admiring the way his eyes lit up. 

“That’s a shame,” she shook her head. “I would have loved to meet her.” Even though she had only just met the boy, she decided that any friend of Laurie’s must be a friend of hers. And she wanted to know what you had been writing as she always saw you scribbling something down on a piece of paper when she looked through your bedroom window. 

“I’ll have to introduce you,” he said with a smile and Jo felt the urge to pinch his cheeks in a teasing manner. 

“You like her,” she smiled and Laurie just shook his head with a chuckle to hide how shy he was becoming. 

“What?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowing. He knew it, but had no idea about how obvious he had been about the whole thing. Did that mean that you knew? He hoped not. He wasn’t sure that you felt the same way and there was no way he was telling you as much just to ruin your friendship. He couldn’t have stood to lose you. You were the most important person in his life. The one thing that made it even worth living.

“You like her,” Jo repeated, her eyes lighting up. She thought it was cute seeing him blush when talking about you and hoped that you knew how much love he had for you.

“I do not,” he waved her off. “Should we dance?” He asked, trying to change the subject as quickly as possible. He wasn’t going to talk to a stranger about his complicated feelings for you. That was something that he kept to himself, only letting the words tumble out in whispers as his head hit the pillow every night. Maybe eventually he would give you the letters he had written to you when he couldn’t sleep.

-

You had been watching the window since Laurie had left, just hoping that he would have come back even though you knew it was selfish. You wanted him to have a good time, but you couldn’t stand thinking about him spending time with anyone but you. You were just jealous and hated that you were feeling that way. He was allowed to have friends that weren’t you. Hell, he was even allowed to court another woman if he wished as the two of you were not together. You just wanted to be. But you would have never admitted that, taking that secret to your grave as it was far too embarrassing to admit.

The familiar carriage rolled through the snow, but instead of turning towards your house, you watched it move towards the one that was across the street. You remembered that the March family had lived there. Lovely girls from what you had seen and you hoped to befriend them someday. Even though meeting new people terrified you. You should have had a lot of friends considering your status, but you liked to keep your circle small as Laurie was your only actual friend. And that was the way you liked it, the boy being more than enough for you. But perhaps now it was time to open your circle.

You stood there, watching two of the sisters exit the carriage holding onto each other as one of them was hobbling as they headed towards the door. Laurie was not far behind them and the three of them quickly disappeared into the house and you didn’t know why your heart was aching. 

You stayed like that for a while, refusing to move from the window until Laurie fled the house. And you were quick to get back into your bed, closing your eyes as you heard his footsteps on the stairs. Your door creaked loudly as it opened and closed, Laurie wincing at how loud it was. 

He kneeled by your bed and was quick to bring the back of his hand to your forehead, letting out a sigh of relief as he felt that it wasn’t warm anymore. Your eyes fluttered open and you saw that boyish grin appear on his face as his eyes locked on yours. His hand moved to the top of your head, stroking your hair as he looked down at you, wondering how someone could look so beautiful after being so sick. 

“Hello, sleepyhead,” he greeted in a whisper and your smile mimicked his, not able to keep it off your face. 

“Hello,” you replied as you scooted over, patting the spot where you had been previously. Laurie removed his shoes then got under the covers with you, pulling you to his chest like he always did. “Did you have a good time?” 

“I did,” he nodded. “But not as much as I would have if you had been there.” And that was true. As much fun as he had with his new friend, he still couldn’t stop thinking about you and how you were doing. But that was just what was always on Laurie’s mind: you. 

“Right,” you laughed. “We both know I’m just a bore.” 

“Not true,” he argued, pulling you closer. “You never bore me,” he said before climbing out of the bed, holding his hand out to you. “Now dance with me, y/n. Before I forget the song I remembered for you.” 

You hesitantly took his hand and he helped you from the bed, letting you hold him since your legs felt a bit like jello,  but that only meant that he could be closer to you. This wasn’t the usual kind of dance you participated in, though. Laurie had you lay your head on his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around each other as he began to sway back and forth as he hummed the song to the best of his ability. 

You believed that this was the moment that you truly fell in love with the boy. Because how many people would have memorized a song from a party then come home and sing it to you while he danced with you? And you could tell that he was tired so it meant even more to you that he was insisting on creating a special moment for you. 

You stayed like that for a while, being wrapped up each other’s arms, swaying next to the fire place to keep warm and then once you decided to go to sleep, Laurie just curled up in your bed with you, pulling you into his arms, whispering that you were his best friend before pressing a kiss to your forehead and falling asleep.

After

The door was ajar when Laurie got to it. He peeked inside and there she was, looking as beautiful as ever as she cleaned off her paint brushes. He hadn’t seen Amy in so long and the years had been kind to her. She looked like a woman now, so much older than the little girl she had always seemed to be in his mind. 

He crept through the door with his bags on his shoulders, completely unaware of how one of them had hit the table, causing Amy to whip around at the noise. A gasp escaped her mouth as she took in who it was. She hadn’t been expecting him at all, and if she was being honest, she had only sent the letter to him for your sake. She hadn’t wanted to see him after what he had done to you. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked, turning back around to finish drying off her brushes. Her question wasn’t so much accusatory as it was genuine and Laurie was very confused by it. Hadn’t she asked him to come? 

“You asked me to come in your letter.”

“Oh, so you still get those?” Her tone was nothing but bitter and Laurie hated seeing this side of her. 

“You’re mad,” he said as he pursed his lips, knowing that he couldn’t use his smile or flirty tone to get out of this one. 

“Oh, mad doesn’t even begin to cover it,” Amy replied, throwing her brushes down onto the counter before turning to fully face the boy, well, now man. “I’m furious.”

“Furious,” Laurie couldn’t help but laugh a bit at seeing his little Amy so upset, even though it was no laughing matter. He couldn’t practically see the smoke coming out of her ears and was trying his hardest to remain serious.

“This isn’t funny, Laurie. I have stood by and watched you string along that poor girl and I won’t do it anymore.” He furrowed his eyebrows, not liking what she had been implying. He didn’t think that what he had been doing with you would have been considering stringing along. It seemed like a harsh description even though he was aware that it wasn’t particularly right.

“String along?” He barked out another laugh and Amy was growing very frustrated, realizing that even though he had grown older, the boyish behavior was very much still there.

“Be serious!” Amy tossed her brushes onto the table in front of her and turned around to face Laurie, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “You know what you’re doing and the thing is, you don’t even care. You spent years pining for Jo and when she rejected your proposal, you just ran back to y/n because you were lonely and desperate for attention.”

“But-”

“And guess what, Laurie? You don’t deserve her. She’s too good for you and I’m tired of watching you hurt her so that ends now. I only asked you here because she wouldn’t. And even though she won’t admit it, she wants your support. She wants you to be here for her through her tough time and you’re going to do it with a smile on your face. Because for once, it’s not about you.” 

Laurie let his bags fall to his feet as her words sank in. He didn’t appreciate what she was saying even though he knew that she was right. All his life, no one had quite called him out like that. And perhaps that was because he was such an important person in society and they didn’t want to upset him. And maybe it hurt even more because Amy knew him. She saw him for exactly what he was and wasn’t afraid to call him out when necessary. 

“Okay, maybe I don’t deserve her and yes, maybe she’s too good for me, but that’s not why I’m here. And who said anything about it being about me?” 

“Nobody did,” she shook her head. “I just-I-don’t understand why you always go after what you can’t have.” The truth was that Laurie just liked the thrill of the chase and because of his status, it was abnormal for women to not want him, so when Jo had rejected his proposal, he was utterly confused. Because he thought that she had loved him in the way that he loved her, but clearly he had been wrong. 

But you loved him in the way that he wanted Jo. So he went to you for a shoulder to cry on and things escalated very quickly and before he knew it, you were both naked in your bed. He hadn’t regretted that night, no. That night had been nothing but special to him, but he hated the way he went about it. How he had only been there for comfort and nothing else. He hadn’t meant to sleep with you, but seeing you there, looking so beautiful, he just couldn’t help himself. 

After that night, things were different for the better, but he still felt himself holding you out at arms length just like always. Because as much as you had loved him, he was afraid to let you in, afraid to start something romantic with you because he was scared of losing you. Scared that everything that you had together would slip through his fingers and he would have been left with nothing. 

But that was where he was at that moment. All his friends had sided with you, and rightfully so. He should have been lucky that at least the March sisters were there for him, even though all they had done since your friendship had ended was tell him how badly he had screwed up. 

He didn’t need them to tell him that, though. He had been the first to see it and no one had been as mean to him about it as he had to himself. Because deep down, Laurie was his own worst enemy. 

“You know what, maybe I should just go.”

“Maybe you should. Because we were all much happier when you were in London.” The words stunned Laurie into silence. He couldn’t believe that you had something like that, and worse, that you had meant it.

“I’m gonna go see Fred.” He just needed to get away from the hostility and surround himself with someone who always took his side. 

“He’s in the study. And do not ask him about y/n,” she pointed at him with a warning, and as afraid of Amy Laurie was, he was still going to ask Fred. He was sure that the man would give him answers that Amy wouldn’t. 

Laurie fled the studio and hurried towards the house, hauling his bag along with him. He was muttering under his breath as he walked, wondering how the hell he had gotten himself into such a fucking mess. 

If he hadn’t behaved like such an idiot then maybe you would have married Jacques instead of him. If he had stopped chasing after Jo when she made it clear that she didn’t want him, if he had been home to answer your letters, then maybe everything would have panned out the way he wanted them to. 

Laurie got into the house and the housemaid took his bag up to the guest room while he made a beeline for the study. He knocks on the door and it opens not long after, his face lighting up to match Fred’s but it quickly fell when Fred’s did, the man’s eyes narrowing into slits as he went to slam the door in Laurie’s face, but he quickly pushed his hand against it, pushing it open as he stepped inside.

“What do you want, Theodore?” Fred asked, his voice dripping with venom. Jesus, Fred too? Just how badly did Laurie fuck up? He knew, but he was afraid to actually ask.

“I wanted to see my old friend,” Laurie tried with a smile as his hand moved up to pat Fred’s shoulder. 

“We’re not friends, Laurie,” Fred tells him and now Laurie’s heart breaks even more, now officially in half as he realized that he didn’t have anyone anymore. And to add insult to injury, it was all his fault. He fucked everything up and now he supposes he deserves it all even though he’ll try to convince himself that he doesn’t just to make himself better. 

“You lost the privilege to call me that when you toyed with y/n’s emotions. You weren’t here, Laurie,” Fred said as he turned to face his desk then turned back, pointing at the man standing in front of him. “But you know what? I wish you were because then you would have seen just how evil and vile you really are. You hurt that girl, Laurie. Broke her down so much that she lost a part of herself, a part that you now have and I hope you know just how lowly we all think of you now. Now I suggest you leave right now before she sees you because that would be really selfish of you to do so. Well, you’re going to do it anyway because that’s exactly what you are. And I guess, if the shoe fits, wear it, right?” He asked then turned back to his desk, only turning back once he had heard the door close as Laurie fled. 

Laurie felt a sob rake through him as he hurried out of the house, completely abandoning his things as he ran to his carriage, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. He couldn’t stand being there when he was unwanted. He couldn’t believe that all of his friends were turning against him because of you. They didn’t even know the full story and were siding with you when he had known them first. God, everything was just so fucked up.  He cried in the carriage all the way to the destination and barely remembers uttering and he only stopped the tears when the carriage stopped at a house. Your house. He feels like nothing but a fool as he stumbles out into the snow, slowly moving towards your front door and hoped that his red, tears stained face will just look like a product of the cold weather as he raises a shaky hand to knock on the door.

[sillyteenagegirlinlovewithblocks]

Laurance head canons pdh/mys/mcd

Mcd

* He loves kids and is great with them.

* I feel like his appearance is different in mcd cause like he needs to be buffer and stuff so I wanna say hes got like a sleeper bulid looking and cause of his pretty boy looks a lot of guards underestimated him.(doesn’t end well)

* Laurance is a munch Istg that man loves the cat in any universe you can’t tell me I’m wrong I mean look at him!

* Definitely a switch, he knows how to please and when to sit back.

*

Pdh.

* He’s 5’11

* Omg he’s such a charmer. Especially in relationships. I mean flowers, dinner dates , stay in dates, anything romantic you can think of I’m sure he does it.

* He’s very bi and is constantly confused. ( me to laur)

* He’s called the woman whisperer from the boys friend group because every time there’s conflict between the boys and girls Laurence seems to calm everyone down.

* He has really bad Separate anxiety especially from partner.

* He has an iPhone 8 and will keep that thing until he dies or it is dust. I mean like the screen is falling off a little it’s cracked and laggy.

* He can’t do math or tell time on an actual clock.

* Because he grew up on a farm imma say he’s helped multiple animals give birth.

* His mom died giving birth to him.

* in pdh he’s lives with his sister and dad in a 2 story house that’s right next door to garroth.

* garroth switched rooms with vlyd to have the room the laurances window faces.

* Never really had a crush on aphmau he thought he did but he was just jealous that garroth was putting his attention into someone else.

Mystreet

* he’s live with a significant other or he’s lives with garroth, alone…

* He’s an amazing cook and he’s always forced to cook dinner for everyone when there’s a get together.

There isn’t much for mystreet cause I hated it. Please don’t attack me I just didn’t find it interesting.

[fangirl-in-general]

FIC IDEA!!!! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

Obviously nothing is set in stone, and I’m really just writing this to satisfy my need for content but I wanted to share the idea I had for an mcd fic so here’s everything I got so far…

Garroth x reader as a main thing (tho there will be as little distinct details as possible and I’ll try not to use y/n or anything when I’m writing)

Reader is Zenix’s “older sister” garroth found her and Zenix together and she had no memory of who she was or where she came from so they all just kinda bonded, to the point where they all stay in the guard tower together as one little found family (it’s mostly cause neither of them would survive trying to keep zenix in line by themselves). She helped with Zenix’s training and occasionally assisted as a novice guard when needed due to her skill with a sword, but typically she works as a seamstress, entertainer, and designated group braincell (85% of the time)

Reader has always lowkey had a crush on Garroth but never actually realized it until aphmau came into town and caught Garroth’s attention. Upon becoming friends with aphmau she starts to become more and more aware of her feelings and tried harder and harder to push them away and focus on how good of a friendship they’ve had all these years. (This doesn’t work)

Once it is revealed that Zenix is a shadow night the reader attempts to bring him back and talk some sense into him and it just results in her getting kidnapped by him, Sasha, and Gene. Gene begins to take a particular interest in her and attempts to sympathize with her situation of unrequited affection as a way to get her to feel betrayed by Garroth so she’ll fall for him. However could never turn on Garroth so easily, he’s been one of the most important people in her life for years without romance, why would she give that up now??? Tho her heart does do a very distinct little back flip now every time she see Gene….

Then the story will continue and we’ll see where it goes from there👀👀👀

I want to keep it as close to the actual storyline as possible (till the “end” obviously) but there’s definitely gonna be a few changes here and there. I’m also not gonna frame Aphmau as a bad guy cause I hate when fics have to make the actual Mc evil in order to write a convincing love story.

There won’t be any romance with Laurence cause I wanna keep it pretty concise but he and reader will be besties who playfully flirt pretty regularly (till they get dedicated to their lovers of course, then they’re just besties) so I’m sorry for my Laurence fans out there…

Anyway that’s what I got so far!!!! Hope you like it and I’ll start soon I think!