#Last Updated: 7/3/24

[jtl-fics]

Smalls AU Masterpost (Pt. 2)

Janie Smalls was only ever supposed to be a small background character. A reason why Neil Josten could become a Fox since there was an open position. She'd only skimmed the first two books in the All For the Game trilogy and only sort of remembered her.

Which is why it really sucks to wake up in Janie Small's body right after she got committed to a psych ward. It sucks even more to realize how expensive college is in America so really the only chance she has at a decent education is being a Palmetto State Fox.

PART ONE

Palmetto: (1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38)

HTPXFI: (1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30)

PART THREE

[mr-stottlemonk]

made a timeline for monk tv for the folks cause it makes no sense sometimes.

[more in the tags]

[update: stottlemeyer's timeline found here]

[outro-love-is-not-over]

Little intro post! I'll probably update this later :)

Hello! My name is Lee. I am 20, use he/they pronouns and am autistic. I am transgender and bisexual. My main special interest is BTS so thats what this side blog is for!!

I love to dance, draw, paint, sew and analyze lyrics :3 you can find the stuff i make here: #my art <3

My main blog is @fivehundredtwentyone <3

Also just putting it out there that any thirsty/sexual comments I make about ANY idol is mostly jokes/unserious. Idols are humans and deserve to be treated with the same respect as everyone else👍 I may be attracted to them, but I will not sexualize them.

My BTS biases are V and J-Hope, though i am fully ot7 and mere minutes away from biasing all of them akdjjdnf

Other groups i like (and will likely post about) and my biases are:

Ateez (Hongjoong, Yeosang)

TXT (Yeonjun)

Stray Kids (Lee Know, Chan, I.N)

(G)I-dle (Yuqi)

VIXX (N, Ken)

Some of the non Kpop music I like is Mother Mother, Will Wood, Troye Sivan, and Prince! I likely won't be posting about any of them here but I still felt like sharing :)

[whoistakingallthegoodusernames]

Let me be honest Mr grizz I'm not paying 333 gold for a jpeg

[mwahbeauty]

❛ baby, be my pretty boy. ❜

welcome !!

★ currently fixated with grayson hawthorne, azriel, aaron warner, anakin skywalker, theodore nott, and micheal townsend <3 (all fictional yes i know deal with it)

★ inbox is always open!! yap with me about them 🫶

❛ can you be my favorite toy? ❜

★ BOOKS

shatter me, the inheritance games, a court of thorns and roses, the grandest game, powerless, ana huang, a good girls guide to murder.

★ MUSIC

sabrina carpenter, olivia rodrigo, chase atlantic, artemas, the weekend, lana del rey, the neighborhood, arctic monkeys, isabel larosa, ari abdul, steve lacy, billie eilish, childish gambino, nirvana.

❛ i belong to you. ❜

★ 𝓢omebody shut me up !

★ 💵 ┆𝓖rayson <3

★ 🩸 ┆𝓐nakin <3

★ 🔫 ┆𝓐aron <3

★ 🦇┆𝓐zriel <3

★ 📚 ┆𝓣hedore <3

★ 💥 ┆𝓜icheal <3

★ 𝓛ove letters !

[newsfrom-theworld]

Sudanese gfm

These are some Sudanese gfm that need your attention and their profiles; i will update the post if I find new fgm for Sudan.

FAMILIES WHO NEED TO FLEE THE WAR

1: Help Aalaa's family escape to safety

Aalaa's twitter accaunt

2: Help Abudjana rebuild after war

3: Help Mohamed leave Sudan

His twitter accaunt

5: Help Asjad and her Family Escape War in Sudan

Her twitter accaunt

6: Help Randa's Family flee war in Sudan

Her twitter accaunt

@rnd8

7: Help Asala and her family evacuate from Sudan

8: Support a community in Sudan

Twitter accaunt

9: Help support families in Kassab IDP camp

10: Help Jameela and her family escape the war in Sudan

11: Help a family escape the war in Sudan: one member suffers from Dystonia

12: Help Sai's family escape the war in Sudan

Twitter Accaunt

13: Help a family of eight to escape the war in Sudan

14: Support South Sudanese Evacuation from Sudan

15: Emergency funds for a family

16: Support Sakina's Family's Journey to Safety

Twitter accaunt

17: Help a mother and her two children escape the war in Sudan

18: Help-15-families evacuate El-Fashir, Darfur

19: Help a Sudanese family escape from war

Twitter accaunt

20: Help Ahmeds family to escape warzone in Sudan

His Twitter accaunt

21: Help a sudanese family with two autistic children escape war

22: Help a family of six escape Sudan

23: Help a family with two children evacuate from Sudan

Twitter accaunt

24: Help Rama Haran's family escape the war in Sudan

25: Help two sisters escape the war in Sudan

26: Help Family in Sudan Find Urgent safety

27: Help a Sudanese medical student finish her last year of med School.

28: Help Sudanese students become the future doctors

SUPPORT PEOPLE ON THE GROUD

1: Support Families impacted by the war

2: SUPPORT THE KHARTOUM KITCHERN

Twitter accaunt

3: The Save El Geneina initiative which aims to provide services to all Sudanese

4: Help  Eman Abdel Rahman rebuild his life after his home was destroyed (@emooz-8)

Twitter accaunt

5: Help a family rebuild after war

6: Help Displaced Sudanese Families Pay for Food and Medicine

7: Assist a Sudanese family in covering basic needs

8: Support a Community Stuck In Sudan

9: Help Save AlGineina’s health clinic in Adré Refugee Camp

10: Support Sudanese organiser to secure housing

11: Support survivor of sexual violence in Sudan

Venmo: BSonblast

SUPPORT REFUGEES

1: Help Sudanese refugees stranded in Olala forests, Ethiopia

2: Help a young Sudanese woman avoid eviction

3: Help Sukina's Father's Fight Against Cancer

IF YOU CAN'T DONATE PLEASE REPOST, THEY NEED TO GET OUT

Keep Eyes On Sudan

GFMS FOR OTHER COUNTRIES PLS CHECK

Palestine

Yemen

Congo

All the countries ( my most important post)

Haiti

Hawaii

[soaps-mohawk]

Summary: Task Force 141 operates successfully without an omega, at least that’s what Price has been saying since its formation. Two alphas and two betas balance the pack just fine, and they have the numbers to prove it.

It works for a while, until the Omega Initiative is born and the 141 find themselves having to adjust to the sudden addition of an omega to their pack. Fresh out of an institute, you’re hardly fit for their secretive, dangerous world, or so Price thinks. 

As each member of the team gets closer to you, things begin to come to light, not only about you but about the decision to force you into their lives.

Maybe, just maybe, Price was wrong and the 141 does need an omega after all. 

Pairings: Poly 141 x reader, Price x Gaz, Ghost x Soap

Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, NSFW content, explicit smut, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), knotting, biting, claiming, mating cycles, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, age differences, military inaccuracies, canon typical violence, blood, weapons, language, no use of Y/N, brief torture, hurt/comfort, let's be real this is so unrealistic but it's a/b/o you're not here for accuracy.

Chapters containing smut are marked with a *

Updates are posted on the weekends, either Saturday or Sunday PST

This fic can also be found on my Ao3 -> HERE

I will no longer be using a taglist for this fic, please follow THIS BLOG and turn on notifications

NAVIGATION PAGE CRCB DIRECTORY

Part 1 - The Omega

Chapter 1 - The Introduction Chapter 2 - Adjustments Chapter 3 - Speak Their Language Chapter 4 - You Can Be Useful Chapter 5 - What I Want *

Part 2 - The Bond

Chapter 6 - One Step Closer * Chapter 7 - Sweet Strawberry Chapter 8 - The Thing About Ghost Chapter 9 - Save Me Chapter 10 - Treat Me Gently*

Part 3 - The First Heat

Chapter 11 - It's Coming Chapter 12 - Fire In My Veins* Chapter 13 - Piece Me Back Together* Chapter 14 - The Aftermath*

Part 4 - The New Normal

Chapter 15: Bonnie* Chapter 16: Big Brown Eyes * Chapter 17: Alone Chapter 18: Don't Let Me Go Chapter 19: Daddy Issues Chapter 20: The New Normal * Chapter 21: Crime and Punishment * Chapter 22: I Won't Be Gentle

Part 5 - A Pack of Five

Chapter 23: Regrets Chapter 24: The Last First Time * Chapter 25: Animals * Chapter 26: Fuck * Chapter 27: Drown In It * Chapter 28: Two Is Company, Three Is A Party * Chapter 29: There's Something Wrong With My Omega

Part 6 - The Tragedy

Chapter 30: Butterfly's Wings Chapter 31: Forced Proximity Chapter 32: The Tragedy Chapter 33: Ghosts of the Past Chapter 34: The Whole Truth

Part 7 - The Aftermath

Chapter 35: Threads Chapter 36: To The Sea Chapter 37: The Silence Chapter 38: Shattered

Title card made by the beautiful @141wh0re

[finnstansonly]

survival/evacuation funds

Name = link to post detailing their story ; (link) = link to fundraiser

*note: i am not a vetter. i will keep this list updated every couple of days so the numbers on the post can accurately reflect the progress of each campaign i've listed

Muhammad Eid (link) €701/€35,000 Eman Abosedo (link) $1,251/$50,000 Yara Mohammed (link) €2,363/€20,000 Rana Akeela (link) €2,078/€50,000 Hala (link) €3,439/€5,000 [cw: graphic imagery] Ahmed Al-Habil (link) €4,604/€50,000 Abd Alhadi Aburas (link) $5,792 CAD/$65,000 CAD Hatem Salem (paypal, gfm) collectively €3,936/€10,000 Ayaa (link) $7,324/$35,000 Almadhoun Family (link) €7,909/€50,000 Musab (link) £6,613/£18,000 ** Nedaa (link) £9,032/£25,000 Alaa Amsse (link) €12,780/€100,000 Mohammed Al Manasra (link) $15,744/$50,000 Mahmoud Helles (link) €12,204/€50,000 ** Mahmoud Ziad (link) $14,788/$30,000 ** Wafaa (link) $24,813/$50,000 Nour (link) $18,330/$45,000

Sajida's Family (link) £13,743/£30,000 ** Sohad Mahmoud (paypal, gfm) collectively €17,408/€35,000 Eman Zaqout (link) $26,846 CAD/$80,000 CAD Youssef Al-Habeel (link) €19,835/€20,000 Doaa Jad Al Haq (link) kr224,064 SEK/kr300,000 SEK Hanaa Jad Al Haq (link) £21,007/£50,000 Mohammed Al-Habil (link) €30,853/€50,000 Fidda (link) $35,916/$75,000 Dana (link) £24,641/£26,000 Laila Shaqoura (link) €30,806/€45,000 Mohiy (link) $48,196/$63,000 Rehab Shamia (link) $37,425/$40,000 Safaa (link) €38,431/€90,000 Ibrahim Hussein (link) $45,858/$100,000 Haya Alshawish (link) €89,693/€100,000

Updated: 24 September 2024

** No Progress Since Last Update **

Musab (link) £6,613/£18,000. No donations in 7 DAYS

Mahmoud Ziad (link) $14,788/$30,000. No donations in 5 DAYS

Sajida's Family (link) £13,743/£30,000. No donation in 3 DAYS

Mahmoud Helles (link) €12,204/€50,000. No donation in 2 DAYS

[dykesbat]

1st masterpost of palestinian fundraisers i'm spotlighting on my blog + verifications

last updated: july 22, 2024 second masterpost

1. Doctor Moath Abu Samra & Family Evacuate Gaza - $20,880/$50,000 [SLOWED] verified by Operation Olive Branch - row 85 individual reblog post here

2. Urgent Appeal: Save Little Yusuf and His Family Amidst Gaza - €41,596/€85,000 [SLOWED] ***has only received €25 in the past 24 hours verified here by el-shab-hussein. follow the fundraising organizer here on tumblr @/ahmednabubak individual reblog post here

3. Mohamed Hamad and his family dream of reaching safety - £10,301/£50,000 [LOW] [SLOWED] verified by here by el-shab-hussein. follow mohamed on tumblr at @/mohamed-hamad individual reblog post here

4. Saving My Family from the Horrors of War in Gaza for Firas Salem - €34,065/€65,000 [SLOWED] ***has only received three donations in the past 7 days verified here by el-shab-hussein. follow firas on tumblr at @/firassalemgaza individual reblog post here

5. Help Sana’a and her family evacuate from Gaza - £55,246/£70,000 [SLOWED] verified here by el-shab-hussein follow sujood on tumblr at @/sujoododeh individual reblog post here

6. Help the Qanou Family - £4,336/£55,000 [LOW] verified here by nabulsi. follow raghad here on tumblr at @/rhq274 individual reblog post here

7. Help Nahla and Amal Family to Rebuild their life - €3,671/€80,000 [LOW] [SLOWED] ***has only received one donation today verified here by nabulsi. follow the fundraiser on tumblr at @/jrk85 individual reblog post here

8. Helping Ahmed's Family: Escaping War to a New Life - €34,928/€39,500 verified here by nabulsi. follow ahmed on tumblr at @/ahmedabuyamin. individual reblog post here

9. Help the Abu Shammalah Family Find Safety and Rebuild - €10,798/€100,000 [LOW] ***has only received 3 donations in the past two days verified here by el-shab-hussein. follow ahmed (fundraiser's organizer) on tumblr at @/ahmed8311. individual reblog post here.

10. Help Ahmed family to travel to a save place - £6,765/£30,000 [LOW] verified here by nabulsi. follow ahmed on tumblr at @/ahmed-ziad. individual reblog post here.

11. Please help Shamaly family SURVIVE Gaza & start a new life! - $24,135 CAD/$90,000 [SLOWED] ***this fundraiser has only received 4 donations in the past 7 days verified here by fallahifag. follow the fundraiser on tumblr at @/familydeea. individual reblog post here.

12. Help Alaa family to travel to a safe place - £25,622/£56,000 [SLOWED] ***has only received 2 donations today number 99 on el-shab-hussein and nabulsi's spreadsheet. follow alaa on tumblr at @/alaaalkhateeb. individual reblog post here.

please donate/share if you can! fundraisers marked as slowed have had little to none donations.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

Digital Display

you’re what i’ve been waiting for

synopsis// maybe it wasn’t your smartest idea to fall for the guy your friends introduced you to, who’s also trolling you online—but, in your defense, how were you supposed to know they’d end up being the same person?

status// finished!

updates// everyday unless said otherwise

warning// no curses!au, streamer!au, friends to lovers?, inumaki is just a strange strange silly (cringe) man and lowkey rich???, kys jokes bc comedy, and also rlly cringe and corny jokes bc comedy, n if anyone is ooc take that up with the universe not me!

☆ this smau wasn’t inspired by a song but the title was!! ‘twas inspired by digital display by ready for the world, but yeah besides the title and lyrics on here the song holds no relevance :) ☆

to raise my low score

so excuse me if i start to play

round 1. annoying x2

round 2. twinsies

round 3. desperate

round 4. why nobody gaf

round 5. gold digger

round 6. i keep it 99

round 7. ignorance is bliss

round 8. weakest link

round 9. not going well

round 10. i love science

round 11. biblically accurate angel

round 12. pucker up

round 13. normal and mildly responsible

round 14. just a coincidence

round 15. sleeper agent

round 16. one step ahead

round 17. big and greedy

round 18. strangers to lovers

round 19. poet

round 20. doing a bit

round 21. i rebuke you

round 22. taken care of

round 23. shaking in excitement

round 24. extremely nonchalant

round 25. i got you

round 26. hope not

round 27. get pranked

round 28. last hope

round 29. silent or silenced

round 30. 3 vs 2

round 31. step on it

round 32. romance is everywhere

round 33. sick work

round 34. do it scared

round 35. what are the odds

round 36. beautiful emo prince

round 37. why waste time

round 38. you or nothing

round 39. stay mad

round 40. romantical tension

round 41. normal human things

round 42. middle school relationship core

round 43. no pressure

round 44. government spy

round 45. troll a little

round 46. enjoying the view

round 47. the vibes

round 48. stop light

round 49. it’s so over

round 50. what about us

round 51. we’re good right?

round 52. i no no wanna

round 53. FINISH HIM

round 54. gtg

round 55. GET OFF STREAM

round 56. keep up

last round. falling for me again

[stil-lindigo]

link

on twitter, a viral thread started where people around the world shared their translations of “If I must die”, the last work of Dr Refaat Alareer also known as "the voice of Gaza". A beloved poet, teacher and life-long activist for Palestine, he was recently assassinated along with members of his extended family by a targeted Israeli air strike. His loss leaves a hole in the heart of palestinians all over the world.

Below the cut, I’ll be posting the translations of his poem, with links to the original posts. Unfortunately, tumblr limits posts to a maximum of 30 images. I will update when I can.

Arabic (Refaat’s mother tongue)

--

2. Spanish

--

3. Irish

--

4. Dutch

--

5. Greek

--

6. German

--

7. Vietnamese

--

8. Tagalog

--

9. Serbian

--

10. Japanese

and the traditional japanese calligraphy version

--

11. Nepali

--

12. Tamil

--

13. Bosnian

--

14. Indonesian

--

15. Romanian

--

16. Italian

--

17. Albanian

--

18. Urdu

--

19. Turkish

--

20. Polish

--

21. Norwegian

--

22. Galician

--

23. Swedish

--

24. Jawi

--

25. Bengali

--

26. Russian

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters fluctuate between past and present, beginning in 1934. SPOILERS FOR THE BOYS S3

Chapter 1: You Shouldn't Have Answered the Door

Chapter 2: Late Night Visitor

Chapter 3: Summer Has to End Someday

Chapter 4: It's My Party and I'll Eat Cake If I Want To

Chapter 5: The Man, The Myth, The Legend

Chapter 6: Batter Up

Chapter 7: Are We Old Friends Or Old Enemies?

Chapter 8: Jealousy Doesn't Look Good On Anybody Except...

Chapter 9: Wedding Bells or Gong of Destruction?

Chapter 10: How Did It End Up Like This?

Chapter 11: I Can't Think With You Yelling At Me!

Chapter 12: My Heart Is Beating For You Constantly

Chapter 13: You Made A Plaything Out of Romance

Chapter 14: You're All I'm Dreaming Of

Chapter 15: What Do You Know About Love?

Chapter 16: Please Come Back To Me

Chapter 17: How Could I Ever Forget?

Chapter 18: First Impressions Are Often Correct

Chapter 19: I Know Who You Are

Chapter 20: You Were There

Chapter 21: Try To Understand

Chapter 22: I May Be Right Or I May Be Crazy

Chapter 23: Extreme Makeover Backyard Edition

Chapter 24: What The Past Held

Chapter 25: Are Family Reunions Always This Awkward?

Chapter 26: I Hate You, I Love You

Chapter 27: COMING SOON!

Last Updated: 09/22/2024

[Extras]

Chapter 7.5: The Only Escape

***************************************

If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series let me know :)

Taglist:

@roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303

@deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs

@bughill126 @simplyfixated  @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts @onlyangel-444

@lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan @marvel-mistress @my-obsession-spn

@lifeonawhim  @liuope @brynanna @carpenterswife

@xxannyxx

 @babyinatrench-coat1 @the-gentle-spirit @valryomen @cassieriddle713 @shaggzthatsnottheworm

 @lil-soup @ej13928 @topstory21 @boywivlove

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@vivre-dans-la-nuit @megara0224 @daisy-the-quake @thesilmarillionblog @samanddeaninatrenchcoat

@libby99hb @peachhiz @tinydancer40 @tinystarfishgalaxy

@jvanilly

@libby99hb @lunaticgurly @i-am-typing @52ndstreeet

@anna6307

@pixviee @soldiergrimes @ladysparkles78 @ahoytothestorm

@octoazzy @modiddys-blog @marmie-noir @practicallylivesonline @impala67stellawinchester

@everlove @dangerousgardenchild

(Photos on mood board from Pinterest)

[januaryembrs]

THERE'S NO SIGN OF LIFE | Spencer Reid x Prentiss!Reader [3]

Description: The one where you grieve Emily together (+ the one where you kiss him)

word count: 7.9k

trigger warnings: okay so this chapter is exactly how it sounds, heavy in themes of grief, depression, anger, slight ideation of the world being better without bugsy (as if), DRUG USE (once and not addictively and not by Spencer!), mention of Spencer being horny, mention on blood and drinking.

authors note: this was just supposed to be a little filler chapter for the next one where the real juicy shit happens and long story short it became nearly 8k words of pure angst until the last minute when I decided to stop hurting you all. please don't hate me, promise a big boy chapter is coming up.

previous chpt | next chpt

'Doctor, look into my eyes.

I've been breathing air, but there's no sign of life.'

The team had fallen into chaos since Emily died. Hotch thought that just five little stages of grief weren’t quite enough to summarise what they were going through.

Morgan was pissed off by the smallest things, had flipped shit just that morning because the printer had jammed. He'd gone through two mugs and a keyboard in just two weeks in his tempers that had certainly seen better days.

Penelope’s eyes gleamed with unshed tears she was trying her hardest to choke down, to wipe away so fast she could pretend to still see her computer screen, but Hotch didn’t need to be a profiler to see the way her sleeves were smudged with mascara, sodden through 24/7. 

Rossi seemed resigned, tired, his breath smelled faintly of the strong whiskey he saved for special occasions, his hair unkempt, as though he hadn’t slept until the early hours, or if he had it had been unrestful. He took more frequent breaks, came back smelling like the cigars he kept in his desk drawer for the bad days, and he sighed as if the world beat down on his back, like he’d been asked to choose between stopping world hunger or saving the environment. His chest was heavy. His face was tired of losing so many friends he loved.  

Spencer was working himself to the bone, his desk piled with books (even more so than usual), his fingers twitching by his side more often, as if his brain cells had been dialled up to a thousand percent, which was saying something when it came to Reid. In fact the only thing out of ordinary was the fact he was constantly checking his phone, the sight of which had Pen dropping her coffee on the rough carpet, which she had promptly then excused herself with watery eyes over. Yes, he actually knew how to use technology, which he had been so vehemently against for years, until the team realised it was because one very important member of the team had been using her sick days for three weeks now. 

They knew he was looking after her, that he would bring her dinner and make sure the cats were fed, but they had no idea she had all but moved in with him, Niko and Sergio included. 

Yet he found himself checking the screen every twenty minutes or so for signs of an update, even just a thumbs up or a little sign that said seen under his good morning texts. He was scared he’d wandered too far into boyfriend territory, it certainly felt that way when he would come home to see her bundled on the couch, nose deep in one of the books he would leave out for her, how her eyes would light up just the tiniest amount to see him home. She rarely cooked, he knew she didn’t even touch the food in his fridge no matter how much he reminded her she needed to eat when he wasn’t there, to which she usually just nodded at him and buried her head in his arm to escape the scoldings. 

Things were different with her here. He knew she was vulnerable, lost, he saw it every time she came crawling into his bed from where he’d set her up in the spare room, or when Sergio made himself home on her lap and she squeezed the cat to her chest in quiet tears. Usually he would have squirmed out of her grip, he had always preferred Emily, but these days he just let her sob with a docile blink at where Spencer watched her from the other end of the couch, and pretended not to notice when his fur was sodden and messed up. 

Spencer had felt something for her before, the weeks, months even leading up to Emily dying, but with her here, needing him all the time, holding him tightly when he needed to grieve himself, making herself at home in his personal space, he was sure she knew it too. There was no way she didn’t know how he felt. 

But the topic was too heavy, too complex to bring up with her mourning her sister, it would rip the carpet out from beneath her feet, and no matter how heavily, besottedly, how deeply Spencer felt he loved her, he would never do that to her. He couldn’t. 

He had always loved mind games, but loving someone so much you couldn’t not tell them, only to not tell them because you loved them so much felt like a whole paradox even he couldn’t wrap his big brain around. 

So they stayed where they were. She had good days, though they usually looked like said reading on the sofa with nothing but a strong cup of coffee in her stomach. And then she had bad ones. And the bad ones made him scared, so scared he had no choice but to get help. 

Penelope came over the Friday evening with Spencer after work, kitted out entirely with nail polishes and gems, the box set of Barbie movies, a hot chocolate mix she swore by, three tubs of ice cream, face masks, Teen vogue with a Never have I ever section ‘Begging to be answered’ and of course, her Pièce de résistance, her makeup kit and joke fluffy handcuffs for them to tie down Reid and give him a makeover. 

“Hello my handsome gentlemen,” She greeted Niko and Sergio who rushed to the door on instinct, knowing Spencer always gave them each a big handful of treats upon arriving home, “Auntie Penny is here for a super girly evening, no boys allowed,” 

“Am I not invited?” Spencer asked, faux hurt flashing on his face as he shut the door behind them, though his eyes were quick to scan around his living room for any sign of her. There wasn’t, not even a single pillow was out of place, and he knew it had been another day of skipped lunch and breakfast.

“You are, of course you are, I just didn’t want them to get jealous,” She whispered, her brown eyes taking in the too perfect apartment and the lack of the Prentiss girl, “Is she sleeping?”

“No,” He said without checking, because he knew she rarely slept nowadays unless she was in his bed with him, “I’ll go get her,” 

“Okay,” Some of the joy died out of her tone when she heard his voice soften sadly as she set her bags down on the kitchen counter, “I’ll get the hot chocolates ready!” Penelope tried to recover in that perky tone she used to cover up when something hurt her. 

He just hoped this had been the right decision, that he wasn’t pushing her too hard. 

Knocking softly on her door, he let himself in when he heard a small murmur on the other side, and as he suspected, she was curled into a small ball under one of his blankets, her hair wet, her pyjamas in the laundry basket. She had one of his shirts on and some boxers he had noticed had gone missing, but he would never hold it against her. 

She had showered while he was gone at least, and her breath was minty fresh as he crept over the woolly rug and kneeled one leg on the bedside. 

“Hey,” He started softly, sweeter than honey, his cadence somewhat hopeful as he leaned over her and stroked her hair that was still damp. “You got up! Did you eat anything?” 

She looked up at him with tired eyes, but she reached out with both her arms to embrace him gently, like she’d been waiting all day to have him near again. 

“I had a couple biscuits and some coffee,” Her voice was raspy, and it was the first he’d heard her speak in a few days. “I’ll try better tomorrow, I just was a bit tired today-”

“No, no, that’s great,” He rushed to comfort her, to stop the apology that was coming his way whenever she didn’t take care of herself the way he wanted her to, “Penny’s here to see you. She’s here for a girl’s night, if that’s okay?”

Bugsy attempted a smile, though she seemed hesitant, but he thought that was probably just the way her expression was these days, like everything hopeful had been sucked out of her. 

“I’ve missed Penny,” She said, and he knew she meant it. She nodded finally, and he leaned over her to give her a proper hug for putting on a brave face, feeling her nuzzle into his chest at the contact. She sniffed the air for a second, before whispering into his ear, “Is that chocolate?”

He chuckled, stroking down her back and pulling her up into a sit. He’d gotten used to her being pliant under his touch, and he only wished her being so receptive to his advances would be under other circumstances. 

The urge to grab her face and kiss every bit of hurt out of her was growing harder and harder to shove down with every day he saw her so soft and wounded. He wasn’t good at knowing what to say, but for her, he was trying to be. The only alternative was kissing her silly, until the pit she’d crawled into was warm, just warm all over, and she came back to him in one piece. 

“Yes, it’s chocolate. Now come on, before she starts the movie without us,” He breathed gently, helping her out of bed, pretending he didn’t hear the way her joints cracked with the first sign of movement in hours. “Wait a second, pants,” He reminded her, tossing her some sweatpants from the floor, which she shoved on blindly. He didn’t mind her walking around like that if it meant she were comfortable, but he didn’t want her to give Pen a scare. 

A ghost of a smile teased on her lips as he led her out the room with two hands on her shoulders, seeing the blonde woman light up like the fourth of July at the sound of the two of them approaching. 

“Bug!” Penelope called, mid way through distributing a hefty amount of whipped cream and marshmallows on top of three mugs. Spencer watched the second her eyes widened slightly as she took in the girl’s appearance, trying frantically to cover it with an even wider smile, rushing to hug her tightly. He saw the minute she realised she felt so different in her arms; lifeless, heavy, rooted to the spot, like any contact with someone other than the gentle Spencer-touches she was used to made her lock up. 

She looked sick, like she hadn’t known fresh air in weeks, or like she’d pulled three all nighters in a row, or like she would be able to watch a ten car pile up and not bat an eye. She looked dead. She felt dead in Penny’s arms. 

The thought of it made her squeeze her tighter, until she felt two arms cuddle her back firmly. 

“I see Spencer has been treating you well,” Pen said, because she was avoiding the subject of Emily, and the way Bugsy looked exhausted, and the way she saw how scared Spencer was when he’d come into ‘the bat cave’ that afternoon to ask for her help. 

Bugsy attempted another smile, nodding slightly as the blonde drew back from their hug, and she saw the worry she tried so desperately to hide as she took in her face. 

The girl’s skin was dull in a way they’d never seen her before, her expression tired, her bones creaky, like someone had reached down her gullet and plucked her soul right from out of her chest, snatched it there and then. Penelope saw why Spencer looked so worried. 

“He’s been great,” Bugsy replied simply, her eyes finding Spencer’s where he shadowed behind her, worried she would faint on the spot from all the movement. She’d not been eating anything other than what he encouraged down her throat, but he supposed a handful of biscuits were better than nothing. 

She felt the bottomless pit that used to be her heart rip open just that bit further, the way it had done slowly the past few days, eating away at her skin. She knew she could never ever repay Spencer for everything he was doing, knew the odd few times she’d managed to collect herself enough to be there for him when he cried could never amount to how he hovered over her every second he was home. 

But where she should have felt guilt, there was nothing, there was just nothing left of her. 

He seemed to notice the slip, the way he always did, and she never did tell him how perceptive he was as he stroked over the back of her hair, leading her with a warm hand on her upper back to the sofa where Pen had already laid out the movie selection, had already grabbed the hot chocolates that were quickly melting onto the coffee table, where Niko was waiting with an eager pink tongue to collect his share, where he settled her down and wrapped her in a blanket as if he was swaddling a baby, where he let her take the middle and him and Pen on either side as Fairytopia lit up his living room with hot pinks and rainbows and flowers and magic. 

And even though she had yet to crack a smile, a real one at least, she seemed content, not entirely uncomfortable with the evening as Penelope commandeered one of her hands to paint her nails a shiny blush colour  ‘to match the evening’. Spencer thought for a minute she might have just needed some girl time, something no matter how many cuddles and sweet words he whispered could never give her. Maybe that was all she’d needed. 

Maybe she would get through this without entirely crumbling.

It wasn’t until the next day when even showering was too big a feat for her, when she had only two mouthfuls of the blueberry pancakes he’d made her before she apologised with watery eyes that he realised how stupid he was for believing it. 

It wasn’t until she said she wanted to move back home by herself that he really started panicking. 

JJ took her out for a picnic in the park the following weekend. The guilt was eating her up alive about hiding Emily’s secret, and from what Pen had told her, she wasn’t doing good. She wasn’t even doing bad; she was barely hanging on by a thread. Hotch had said she would be a flight risk with her sister gone, had said they would need to keep an eye on her as much as they would the rest of the team, but for Emily’s safety she couldn’t tell her the truth. JJ could only stand back and watch as the girl they all knew crawled into something dark inside herself and barricaded the door closed. 

Spencer had taken the nice approach with her, never forcing her to do anything she didn’t want to or asking too directly, as had Penelope. They’d both tried letting her open up by herself, which had only resulted in the girl taking about five steps back and even starting to shut out Reid, something which they all saw tore him up even more than seeing her wasting away in his spare room. He spent more days at hers, crying harder than she had seen him even when he was struggling with opioids. Crying for Emily some of the time, but mostly crying for the fact he was entirely helpless now she had moved out, like the one thing that had held him upright until then had left in a guilty mess of ‘sorry’s and dead eyes.

So she instead took the approach of telling Bugsy she needed help. Because if there was one thing that had always been able to bend her will, it was someone else needing her. 

JJ thought about reminding Spencer that Bug would come back if he took the same route, if he just told her how badly he needed her instead of her feeling like she was simply a burden on his life. But she knew he wouldn’t hear it, he would only blame himself more. 

So she’d told Bug she was struggling with looking after Henry alone while Will was working away, that he’d been asking for her since she’d come to his second birthday party with the biggest stuffed whale toy he’d ever seen. It was a white lie, Will was home more days than she was, but Henry had been asking for ‘the bug lady’ every time he played with his teddy. And it worked like a charm. 

So they sat in the warm April breeze, Bugsy reading on her stomach as JJ carefully nudged a punnet of fat, red grapes her way, hoping she would take the hint and swallow a few. 

It wasn’t until Henry came diving over to them from where he was collecting snails by their shells that Bug even showed any sign of pulling herself out of the book. 

“Buggy!” The little boy called, his tongue struggling with the complexity of the ‘gsy’ sound, and she looked up at him with a tired smile on her face that JJ saw right through immediately. “Buggy, look,” 

She held out her hand, and he gently placed a common land snail in the palm of her hand, no bigger than a quarter, who happily slid over her fingertip with a squishy sensation. 

“Thankyou, Henry,” She replied, her eyes trailing over the shiny slime he left behind over her palm, his tiny antenna eyes googling up at her. “What should we call him?” 

“Sid’d’snail,” Henry replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world, crouching next to her to watch him crawling over her chipped pink fingernails.

“Hi Sid,” She chimed, and JJ watched her face drop into a completely emotionless expression the second Henry’s back was turned to find Sid a friend. 

She felt it clawing at her throat to come out, Emily’s alive, Emily’s alive, come back to us please, please come back to us because Emily’s still alive. JJ was watching her rot in front of her very eyes, and better yet she had the power to stop it with those very few words. 

She could put an end to all of this, she knew how badly it had hurt when Ros died, her older sister, her whole world ripped from her the way Emily’s ‘death’ was doing to Bugsy. She would have given anything for someone to have turned to her and said ‘Jennifer, your sister is still alive. Jennifer, it was all a trick, a hoax, a ploy to keep you safe. Jennifer, Ros is still here, alive and breathing and living her best life in Paris of all places.’

But she couldn’t. She couldn’t betray Emily like that, and knowing, no matter how much of a relief it would come, would put Bugsy in more danger with Ian Doyle and whatever other enemies her sister had made at interpol than she could have ever realised. 

So instead, JJ just ran a gentle hand over her hair that warmed in the sun, and started braiding parts of it absent-mindedly, like they were two girls in a playground waiting for hometime.

JJ stayed quiet, and watched Bugsy get worse. 

Aaron came over to her apartment at 8am sharp. He’d found JJ and Penny in floods of tears in the women’s bathroom when they were due to start the presentation of the latest case and they were nowhere to be seen. Spencer had become detached, quieter with every day that he checked his phone and saw no reply, but had mentioned he’d seen them go into the bathroom together as he got his morning coffee, only for their boss to see the two of them clinging to one another with wet cheeks and before he could even ask, Penelope splurged that Bugsy hadn’t messaged in four days and was refusing to open the door, and that even Spencer asking so sweetly, something that was usually her kryptonite, had failed to draw her out. 

Aaron was convinced if this didn’t work he was kicking down the door himself, even if it meant filing paperwork for a necessary home visit. 

Aaron Hotchner, surprising to no one, was soft on the youngest Prentiss girl. He’d watched her grow for four years straight, had come to her of all people in his hour of desperate need, and felt every second of her grief as if it was his own because he, like JJ, knew he had the power to stop it all but couldn’t. 

He called her name through the door first, her real name, loud yet anxious, along with a firm knock. When he heard nothing back, he rapped on the wood louder, “Bugsy, I know you’re in there. The team are worried about you, they’re worried you’re hurt,” 

Nothing. 

And it wasn’t just the team that was worried, it was him too, if his heavy fists banging even harder were anything to go off of. 

“Bugsy, if you don’t answer I’m sending for the SWAT team and asking them to ram this door down,” He said, with not a trace of a lie in his tone. Because he wasn’t lying, not by a long shot. 

He heard footsteps then, and she appeared through a small crack in the doorway, not open enough for him to see the mess in her living room, but enough to see the way her entire face looked like a cadaver. 

He fought back against the guilt choking him from the inside out.  

“Stop yelling,” She murmured, almost bitterly, “You’re scaring the cats,” 

“You’re scaring us,” He countered back, in a tone that was a little too mean, but from what he heard, soft and gentle wasn’t working, “Please, just let us help you, stop pushing everyone away,”

“That’s a little pot calling the kettle black there, Hotch,” She said in an equally harsh tone, her face scrunching into a frown, and she nearly slammed the door on him right there and then. 

“Get your work out clothes on, we’re going for a run,” He ordered, and it was only then she notices his sport shorts and trainers. She scoffed in his face. He was quick to shove a foot in the door before she actually could swing it shut on him, ignoring the way he nearly yelped as it trapped between the wood, “I’m not asking,” 

“Fuck off,” She spat, and he bristled at her choice language, but he saw the way her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She was a roadkill on a sidewalk waiting to be put out of her misery; she didn’t want to be prodded and poked at and ordered around, she wanted out. 

She wanted to go quietly, without a fight. And it was for that reason, he put up more of a struggle. 

“You are coming outside with me, even if I have to drag you down the street myself because this is not how it ends for you.” Aaron barked back, forcing the door open with one of his large hands as if it was nothing.

“Of all people, I would have thought you would understand, Aaron,” It was like she had slapped him in the face, though he thinks maybe that would have hurt less, and it was only then he saw her eyes had welled up, and her bottom lip was quivering. It was a horrible sight, it twisted his guts like he’d been stabbed by Foyet all over again, but it was better than the nothingness that was there before. 

“Ofcourse, I understand,” His voice softened, his hands coming up to gently rest on her shoulder like she was breakable china beneath his palm, “You think I don’t know what it’s like to want to hide away and never face a world without Haley ever again? I can’t, even now, imagine the rest of my life with her gone,” His throat clogged with emotion he fought off, because he refused to have both of them crying in her living room when he was meant to be the one pulling her out of it, “But I do it because Jack needs me-”

“No body needs me,” She said emptily, ignoring the way Sergio wrapped his tail around her leg and meowed loudly as if to tell her otherwise. 

“Yes we do,” Hotch insisted, seriously, damn near ready to shake her on the spot to knock some sense into her, “We need you, and better yet we love you. You may have lost your sister, but you still have a family waiting for you, Bugsy,” 

And that was it, the single crack that broke the dam. Before he knew it she had launched herself into his arms in a fit of tears, clinging to him tighter than he thought she could for someone who looked so weak and perished. 

He just held her close, feeling his own stray tears drip down his nose as his shirt got wet through. In another life, maybe he and Haley would have had a daughter, and maybe she would have reminded him of Bugsy, maybe his heart would soften to putty just the same way it did with her. The same way it did for Jack. 

And eventually, when she dried her face, and quietened Sergio down, she went to put on her gym gear and one of Spencer's hoodies she’d stolen and felt too guilty to give back, and they went for a run.

If there was one thing Rossi knew better than his whiskeys, it was how to cook a good carbonara. And if there was one thing Bugsy needed more than anything at the moment it was a buttload of carbs and cheese. 

Aaron had been taking her running every morning since that day, and even she had to admit the fresh air and exercise did her good, made her feel stronger and less like the women they find in body bags at the beginning of a case, made her feel like maybe, just maybe, she could get through the rest of this. 

It wasn’t going away overnight, not by any means, but she looked healthier, and her exhaustion meant she got more sleep too, but what remained was a hunger that she was filling with cereal and instant noodles that Rossi knew he had to put a stop to immediately. Instant noodles should have been outlawed with crack and underaged drinking, he would proudly tell her. 

So he invited her over for a cooking lesson, or as he would put it, she could watch him cook and eat as much as she wanted at the end, if she promised to never buy those awful microwave ramen ever again. And she’d agreed, because she felt her appetite coming back every day (and she knew where he kept the good white wine).

“Now as entertaining as this is watching you drain my stash of Sémillon, why don’t you chop up that pork and I’ll get started on the sauce.” He handed her a sharpened butcher’s knife, and the thin slices of seasoned ham, turning to use the stove for just a few moments, “You’re gonna add the cream in until it becomes thick, like cough mixture running off your spoon,” 

“Thick and creamy, you got it,” She chimed in, her fingers slicing the meat into strips, “Did you want this as diced or Julian?”

“Do you mean julienne?” 

“That’s what I just said,” He chuckled into the pot, his chest warming to hear some of that old bratty teenaged sass returning to her tone. He bet she would have run rings around him if she was his kid. 

“Diced, if you would,” David said, using a wooden spoon to stir in the thick cream little by little until the container ran empty. 

“Yes, Chef,” She hummed in response, flipping the chopping board around to begin slicing them the other side, “So, I’m guessing if I asked to try some of that Sauvignon I saw in the fridge, your response would be- oh motherfucker-”

David frowned, “Maybe not so harsh on the tongue but-” He turned around when he heard a hiss, and he quickly understood why she’d thrown the expletive out there. 

Her hand ran red with thick blood, dripping quickly down her arm, ruining her shirt. He didnt even care that his hand carved indian wood chopping board was permanently stained, or that the meat was contaminated, or that the blood trickled a little too quick over his floor, only that her eyes seemed suddenly far away as she did nothing to stop the cut gaping. It had caught her in a trance, one she was not even aware she had been sucked into until he grabbed a towel and headed for her. 

“Emily, no! Emily please, I need medical in here, we have an agent down! Emily, please, please don’t, please- Someone get medical, she’s bleeding-”

David’s hands grabbed a hold of her bloodied palm, wrapping it tightly in the cloth, so harshly it knocked her out of the daze she was in, dragged her out from the last time there was blood all over her hand, when it had been Emily’s blood, when she could do nothing but freeze like she had now. 

“I’m fine,” She said on a reflex, even though he hadn’t asked, he had just acted, pulling her towards the cupboard where he kept the first aid kit, “David, I’m totally fine, it’s just a little scratch,”

“You have to let me go,” Emily had gasped. "Let me go, Bug,"

“David, I’m fine, stop worrying,” She said again when she saw him fussing, hoping he couldn't see the way she’d started shaking, and if he had, she wondered if she could play it off as the adrenaline rushing to fix the wound. 

She knew she was on thin ice with the lot of them after her talk with Aaron. Like he said, they were her family, and family’s took care of one another. She couldn’t live with herself if she kept burdening them so much, kept them from grieving their partner just as much as she was; she loved them too. 

Bugsy was trying to get better, she really was. Sometimes it was just a little difficult, like now when she could still see Emily’s butchered body infront of her as if she were little more than that joint of pork she’d been julienning. 

“It’s okay to get hurt sometimes, kid. You don’t have to lie and pretend it doesn’t hurt if it does,” David said, sitting her back on the breakfast table, holding the bloodied cloth up where he was unravelling a spool of bandage and some rubbing alcohol. 

She shut up then, and she wondered if she was really that see through or if David was just that good at his job. They stayed silent, except for the moan of pain she let out when he doused her hand in the solution, pulling the skin closed tightly and wrapping it taut enough for her to feel her heartbeat in her fingertips. 

“It’s okay if you need a little help once in a while,” He continued, his movements gentle and careful, worried he’d spook her with the first real conversation they’d had in a long time. Rossi had always been closer to Emily than he had her, and maybe it was the fact he lost the few chances he had to be a father, or just the fact she reminded him so much of her older sister, but being with her felt like part of the wound in his chest was the one being treated. “Rather than being afraid to ask for help, remember this: When you ask someone to help you, you are actually doing them a tremendous favour by giving them an opportunity to feel needed.” 

“Is that a David Rossi original, or did you get that from one of your self help books?” She sniffed, hoping he didn’t see the way her expression had fallen, or her throat caught with an apology, or how she hid it with a small smile. 

“Richard Carlson.” He replied, pinning the end of the bandage in tight enough it wouldn’t snag. He sighed, looking at the girl who started guiltily at her fingers, reaching behind her for the corkscrew, “I’ll go get the Sauvignon, you order us a pizza. Just please god, no pineapple, that’s just as bad as instant noodles in my books. That’s like asking Da Vinci about bitcoin, it’s madness,” 

And that was the first time she properly laughed in weeks. 

While Derek was more than equipped to schmoozing the ladies when he wanted a date with them, he had not been ready for this when he’d asked Bugsy to go to the club with him.

She had been doing better, Rossi had said. She had seemed stronger, that was what Hotch had told him. Spencer said they’d even gone for coffee together. He left out the part where it felt awkward and almost like they were seeing an ex, though that of course would be impossible, because they were never dating. At least as far as he knew anyway. 

It had been going fine, they’d gotten two rounds of drinks, had been chatting and she’d even been giggling the more the alcohol hit her. She was looking more like she used to, and it almost all felt like a horrible dream hearing from the rest of the team the state she was in. 

He’d turned his back for a second, for two damn seconds, and she’d been whisked away by some frat boy, and come back to him with a crazy happy look in her eye that he didn’t notice until an hour later. 

“Where did you go, kid?” He’d asked, and she’d shrugged like it was nothing. 

“Needed the bathroom,” She said, and he hadn’t even noticed it was a lie until the light struck her eye for more than a couple seconds and he saw just how dilated her pupils were, like the blackness swallowed her iris whole, and the way she buzzed on the spot with more energy than she’d had in months. 

She was supposed to be getting better, and she was trying, really she was. 

But she couldn’t stop seeing the blood on her hand, couldn’t stop seeing Emily’s face now she could actually sleep again. 

Spencer was half way through his fourth re-read of War and Peace, in its original Russian translation, when he got the knock on the door. 

It was 10pm, he muttered to himself, who was bothering him at this time. 

But of course, as luck would have it, it was the one person who he hadn’t stopped thinking about, the one person who he hadn’t stopped thinking about for the past three years. 

“Spencerrrrrrr!” She chirped, and immediately alarm bells were ringing in his head, her fingers linked with Morgan’s as if he’d all but pulled her to his apartment from the cab. 

She wasn’t stumbling, and she smelled a little like alcohol, but not so much that her inhibitions would be completely destroyed, so he knew it wasn’t that. And Derek looked guilty, a serious kind of guilty like he’d suggested they take a drive on a motorbike with no helmet, or go chasing unsubs unarmed. 

It wasn’t until she flung her arms over his shoulders, and he’d pulled her inside, Morgan following behind with a nervous clear of his throat that he realised what it was. 

“Spencerrrr, I missed you! I missed you so much, Spencer!” And usually he’d love the way she said his name, but this time it was tainted, too false, too electrified. It barely even sounded like her, he hated the way his heart still pounded out of his chest at the fact she pressed herself so close in that little clubbing top of hers, those tight jeans. 

“What did she take?” He ignored her little hums of a song he couldn’t hear, the way she pushed herself even further into his body in a way he knew too well felt like a warm hug throughout her entire being. “Morgan!” 

Spencer had never snapped at him, not since his own days on whatever it was he was doing, and Morgan ran a hand over his face as she nuzzled her nose into his neck. 

“I don’t know, I swear. I turned my back for two seconds to get us another drink, and next thing I know this senior is hitting on her and she’s shoving gum in her mouth and coming back towards the bar- I don’t know what it was, I swear I thought it was gum, man,” Derek rushed, hating the look of desperation in Spencer’s eyes as he yanked her away from him with a small mewl of protest from her mouth. 

“Hey, hey, sweetheart, look at me,” He murmured, and she did, and he saw almost immediately the way her pupils were the size of saucers when she stared at him, crazed and intoxicated, “Do you remember what you took? I need to know so I can keep you safe,”

“You always keep me safe, so safe with Spencer,” She giggled to herself, trying to pull him back to her, but he wouldn’t budge, not until he got a real answer, “Come on, I’m going to be fine, it was just a little Molly, nothing to worry about. Kid even gave me a half for like ten dollars because he said I was reeeeeal pretty. Do you think I’m pretty Spence? I think you’re pretty, I think you’re super pretty,”

They felt themselves sigh in relief, because while still a drug, half of one pill shouldn’t really do much, especially if it was the cheap stuff going around frat houses that the DEA was having a field day with. 

Morgan looked at Spencer, where he let her shove her face against him once more, wrapping his arms around her back and feeling her sigh in relief that she was back there under his warm touch, and they shared the same thought. 

This never happened. 

Because if it did, it meant opening a can of worms Spencer had tried for years to shut tight. It meant acknowledging that the reason Morgan came to him and no one else was because he knew Spencer would know how to handle her when she was coming down in an hour or so. It meant acknowledging why Spencer would know that, and why they hadn’t acknowledged it the first time around. It meant their jobs would be on the line, and so was hers, and as much as she was struggling at the moment, they knew she just slipped up, and that this wasn’t who she was. They knew she could be better, that Spencer would force her to get better, because if the only other option was having her turn into who he used to be, then he was handing in his notice first thing Monday morning. 

That wasn’t an option in Spencer’s books, nor was it in Morgan’s. 

So Morgan left with a little pat on the back of her head, claiming she was a little troublemaker, though he hadn’t quite sounded as teasing as he’d intended and more bitter, and leaving Spencer with her to minimise the damage. 

Bugsy let him lead her to the spare room that once was hers, but she didn’t quite care enough to say anything other than, “I missed you so much,” As she pushed her face into his neck more. 

He sighed, sitting her down on the bed, knowing where she’d left some of her makeup wipes in his bathroom. 

“Stay right here, I’ll be right back,” But she whined again, making a grab for his hand, which he quickly avoided, feeling mean for it the moment he saw her face scrunch in hurt. He stroked her hair behind her ear, watching her melt under his touch, and it almost felt like nothing had changed, like she had never moved out, and like she hadn’t just burst back into his life after popping a bit of molly and turning his evening upside down, “I missed you so much, too, Bug,”

And he wasn’t lying. Not even a little bit. 

She looked up at him with those dazed pupils, as big as dimes as they batted up at him dreamily, and some awful part of him always wanted her to be looking at him like that, like everything he ever did in his life was perfect and he was a god among men. Like she was seeing her favourite movie for the first time on the big screen, when in reality he was just wiping her makeup off her face and handing her spare clothes to change into so she could sleep off the come down. 

It wasn’t until he tried to leave again to go get her some water that she put up a real fight, one that couldn’t be fought off with a gentle touch (he tried), and she was quick to grab his wrist, tug him closer to her. 

“Bug, I’m getting you-”

“Come lay down with me, let’s talk. I love talking to you, why haven’t we talked in so long?” She said like every barrier she ever put up had come tumbling down and her mouth was a free for all for her every thought. 

Spencer smiled despite himself, his honeycomb eyes soft as he shuffled to lay beside her, and they stared at one another, heads against the same pillow, and she looked soft than an angel laying on his bed waiting for a response. She looked happy for the first time in a long time, and he hated how much it suited her. 

“You moved out, remember, bug? You said you wanted to go home and I didn’t want to stop you,” He said gently, like he didn’t want to upset her. But she just giggled and shook her head like he’d told her a joke. 

“Oh, yeah. But I didn’t really want to go home. I wanted to be with you. I want to be with you forever,” Bugsy giggled to herself, wiggling her toes inside her socks and running a finger up his arm gently as she lay on her side, “I missed you so much,”

His brow furrowed, “What do you mean you didn’t want to go home?” But she wasn’t listening, she was tracing over his face with her fingertip, running over his nose gently, past his full lips that quivered under her touch, “Bug,” 

“Hm?” 

“What do you mean you didn’t want to go home? Why did you leave?” He asked again, and she looked back up at him with a shrug, shuffling closer to him, so close he could feel her breath fan over his cheeks. 

“I thought here with you was my home. I wanted it to be.” She said, her fingers finding their way into his nightshirt, “But I felt too guilty being so sad all the time, like I was getting my sad all over you and you couldn’t do anything about it because I was the loser girl with the dead sister you had to look after,” 

His eyes burned with emotion, and he willed himself not to cry, because suddenly it made sense why she had pulled away so fast. She looked at him like he’d hung the damn cosmos in the sky; had he not even paid attention to the letter she’d written Emily. She felt like she was dragging him down, the way she felt about everyone in her life, and decided to cut herself free before she took him with her. And look where that had landed her. 

He felt like a fool. 

“No, no,” Spencer whispered, pulling her into his arms, because he was scared that come morning she would take a million steps back and up and leave him all over again, “That’s not true, that could never happen, you hear me? I liked taking care of you, I wanted to take care of you.” 

“Really?” She asked hopefully, her face soft and dream-like, “I liked taking care of you too, when you would let me,” 

It was true he had tried to push his own feelings on the back burner, besides the few times the dam had cracked and he wound up with his head in her lap receiving the brunt of the affection that evening. He didn’t know why he ever doubted she would have wanted to do that; when he had his migraines she had done nothing but love on him until he felt full to the brim of her warmth. 

He felt himself chuckle, and she shuffled entirely into his arms then squashing out any last molecule of space left between them, and his hand slid over the back of her head, fingers rubbing softly into the nape of her neck which only made her moan loudly, entirely unaware of how sensitive her skin was from the molly. 

“That feels nice, Spencer,” She hummed, her thighs straddling his own as she squished herself against him more, “You feel so nice, I love you so much.” 

He would be lying if he  said the sounds she was making didn’t shoot straight to his dick, and hoped more than anything that she couldn’t feel how it pressed against his stomach angrily. His heart beat rattled loudly, and he swore she had to be able to hear it.

“I love you too,” Spencer sighed, wishing he could have said this to her sober. Wishing she wouldn’t shut him out so easily, wishing he’d pushed her walls a little harder. 

Then she did something he wasn’t expecting. It took all of two seconds for him to close his eyes and hum in content, where her hands were playing with the soft of his waist, and his fingertips stroked her jaw gently, but in a quick movement she planted her lips on his in a soft, sweet peck that he barely had time to register was happening before he pulled away in shock. 

She kissed him. She had kissed him. 

And he wanted her so badly, wanted her in every way it was possible to have someone, wanted to kiss her so hard his face went blue and his lips went numb and his throat burned with lack of oxygen. But he would never dare do anything when she was like this; vulnerable, intoxicated, unaware that the pill she’d taken had acted like a truth serum.

“We’re so silly,” Bugsy giggled, and for a moment she looked twenty two again, like the girl that had answered the door to him in college in nothing but her boxers and a shirt, with her metal music playing so loud he could hear it ringing in his ears minutes after she’d switched it off. She looked like his Bugsy again. 

Spencer chuckled with her incredulously, feeling his face on fire from her action, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his chest that had been immovable for months, because as hard as her come down would hit her, things seemed different now, like they actually had a kicking chance of getting through the grief together. 

But before he could say anything else, her eyes had fluttered shut under the warmth of his palm, and she had drifted off to sleep. 

He guessed he’d have to tell her tomorrow. 

–

taglist:

@release-your-sweets @smileykiddie08 @caramelised-onions@the-tpd-bau @stephthepeach @sunflowersndpeaches @sammy-4103 @starmansirius @yeonalie @delusionallooney @hades-disappointment-child @sadbae-33 @mdanon027 @swag13r @frickin-bats @bilesxbilinskixlahey @mindfullycriminal @mrsbellastyles @nilopillo @imagines--galore @bluejaysaysstuff @imaginexred @flow33didontsmoke @sadbae-33

[charliemwrites]

Last Updated: 7/17/24

After proposing, your fiance "suggests" an open relationship before you two officially tie the knot. You're not keen on it at first - until you meet one Kyle Garrick. And then his friend, Johnny. And then their lieutenant, Simon. And then their captain, John.

Your fiance's given you one hell of an engagement gift - even if he doesn't know it yet.

Content: Unhappy relationship, (attempted) gaslighting, safe/sane/consensual intimacy, (healthy) polyamory

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[twinsimming]

Acne & Skincare Update (7/11/24) - New Features, New Name! 🛀🏾

Six new skincare treatments are now available for teen and older sims to use at the sink under the “Skincare…” pie menu option.

In order for all of the face masks and skincare treatments to show up properly, please install all of the package files in the twinsimming_Acne Mod Skincare Overlays folder alongside the mod file itself.

Thank you to @nectar-cellar and @johziii for creating these lovely overlays and allowing me to include them in this mod! You can download the original versions of their overlays here and here. They can be installed along side the versions included with the mod!

In honor of the addition of skincare features, I have renamed the mod from the Acne Mod to Acne & Skincare to better reflect the expanded scope of the project 💙

The different skincare options, their benefits, and prices are listed below:

Sheet Mask (§2)

Gives custom Hydrated moodlet

Boosts Plant Sim Hydration motive

Boosts Mermaid Hydration motive

Boosts Hygiene motive

Removes dehydration related moodlets from Plant Sims and Mermaids

Chance of removing negative Uncomfortable moodlet

Reduces Acne Breakout, Heating Up (vampire), and Too Much Sun (vampire) moodlet timeouts by 2 hours for every hour the mask is worn

Clay Masks (§3)

Gives custom Clay Face moodlet

Chance of removing negative Stressed moodlet

Reduces chance of getting acne by 10%

Reduces Feeling Anxious, Strained, Overworked, Out of Sorts, and Stuff Taken moodlet timeouts by 2 hours for every hour the mask is worn

Mud Masks (§3)

Gives custom Smooth Skin moodlet

Chance of removing Uncomfortable moodlet

Reduces Sunburn, Itchy, Mosquito Bite (low, med, high), Bee Sting, and Ouch My Face moodlet timeouts by 2 hours for every hour the mask is worn

Under Eye Patches (§4)

Gives custom Subtle Glow moodlet

Boosts Energy motive

Chance of removing Stressed moodlet

Reduces Bad Night’s Sleep, Buzz Crashed, Liquid Crash, and Fatigued moodlet timeouts by 2 hours for every hour the patches are worn

If my Energy Drinks mod is installed, Energy Crash and Craving Caffeine moodlet timeouts are reduced by 2 hours for every hour the patches are worn

Acne Stickers (§5) 

Gives custom Star Studded moodlet

Boosts Fun motive

Chance of removing Angry moodlet

Reduces moodlet hit from Acne Breakout moodlet by half (-20 to -10)

Reduces Embarrassed moodlet from Acne Breakout timeout by 2 hours for every hour the stickers are worn

Anti-Aging Cream (§10) - Adult and Elders Only

Gives custom Fountain of Youth moodlet

20% chance of removing wrinkles on Adults and Elders

20% chance of removing liver spots on Elders

10% chance of extending a sim’s lifespan by 1 day

10% chance of improving a sim’s midlife crisis

Note: Using the skincare treatments will not remove any Costume Makeup your sim is wearing, the overlay will simply cover it.

After the skincare treatments wear off, sims will receive the Attractive moodlet, or the I Am Beautiful moodlet if the sim has the Snob trait.

The “Apply Acne Toner” interaction available to sims who have acne has been moved to the “Skincare…” pie menu as well.

Apply Acne Toner (§2)

Only available when a sim has the Acne Breakout moodlet

Gives custom Feeling Fresh moodlet

Reduces the Acne Breakout moodlet by 4 hours

The “Wash Face” has not been moved, but does have some additional functionality.

Wash Face 

Gives custom Practicing Self Care moodlet

Removes all skincare treatments currently applied to a sim

Reduces chance of getting acne by 5%

New Moodlets

Clay Face: Given when sims use a Clay Mask, lasts 8 hours, +10 mood

Fountain of Youth: Given when sims use Anti-Aging Cream, lasts 8 hours, +10 mood

Hydrated: Given when sims use a Sheet Mask, lasts 4 hours, +10 mood

Smooth Skin: Given when sims use a Mud Mask, lasts 8 hours, +10 mood

Star Studded: Given when sims use Acne Stickers, lasts 4 hours, +10 mood

Subtle Glow: Given when sims use Under Eye Patches, lasts 4 hours, +10 mood

Tuning

All of the tunable values can be found on the mod download page under the header “Tuning”.

Conflicts & Known Issues

This is a new script mod so there shouldn’t be any conflicts.

Credits

EA/Maxis for The Sims 3 and The Sims 4, Visual Studio 2019, ILSpy, SmoothJazz, Blender, s3pe, TSRW, Gimp, Milkshape, Notepad++, FreePik, makeup by nectar-cellar, makeup by Johziii, and Script Mod Template Creator.

Creators on FreePik: Witdhawaty, mikan993, andinur, FreePik, Linector, and surang.

Thank You

Thank you to @nectar-cellar, @johziii, @monocodoll, and @kevinvoncrastenburg for helping with creating and testing this update!

If you like my work, please consider tipping me on Ko-fi 💙

Download @ ModTheSims

[ultrabean]

REDEEMER'S PATH MASTERPOST

Well, since the last masterpost got buried, I figured I might as well make a new one, with some easier navigation.

A short synopsis of this AU would be: This AU takes place after chapter 2 of deltarune, except the epilogue never happened. This story was basically the result of the question: "What if the player was a calm and reasonable person?"

>>>START<<<

[Chapter 1]

Homeless arc / story beginning

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14

(Mini arc)

Rising suspicions

15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20

[Chapter 2]

To the darkworld / First meeting

21 / 22 / 23 / 24 / 25 / 26 /27 / 28 / 29 / 30 / 31 / 32 / 33 / 34 / 35 / 36 / 37 / 38 / 39 / 40

The masterpost will update as I complete more pages, but please do keep in mind one thing:

Do not expect this comic to have a consistent update / upload schedule. To put things simply: shit happens in life, and in order to make this AU the way I want, it's likely going to take a loooot of time. And in life, plans can change, I might be busy with stuff , especially considering I'm starting college already.

That being said, I thank you for your patience and the support on this comic. <3