#Lance Charger

[mygaythoughtsblog]

Aaron Trainer (@AaronTrainerXXX & Lance Charger (@LanceChargerOFC)

[senespera4]

Guess which IS2 map I just died on

[coco-loco-nut]

Book Club - Part 9

pairing: grid x reader

summary: you just got your wisdom teeth out, just in time for winter break fun with headcanons

a/n: thanks for the request, I missed the club❤️ ALSO! the original post just hit 1,500 notes??? like guys🥹 ilysm, you don’t even know. you are still reading my silly little writings, and i appreciate that more than you know. every like, comment, and reblog is the reason we are here 9 parts later (seriously you should see how happy i am when i see comments)

requests open masterlist series masterlist

——————

- You didn’t tell anyone else on the grid other than Lance, obviously

- They were all surprised when it was announced that you were going to be missing Abu Dahbi

- Your oral surgeon only had that Wednesday free before Christmas

- …and let’s be real, your seat was secure, you weren’t going to win the WDC, and the constructors championship was locked in

- You would raise hell if you couldn’t enjoy the food around the holidays, so missing the last race it was

- You were exhausted from the season and appreciated the early break

- Lance just let it slip to the drivers on Friday a couple of hours after he got there

- You were sitting at home with Kimi, swollen and in pain all Friday

- “What do you mean she won’t be here? We have our presents for her” Fernando pouts

- Charles one day ships you cases of his gelato with a note telling you to feel better, he’s trying to get into the club for the gossip

- Lance gets invited to the club meeting to his surprise

- He assumes that they want to check in on you, despite them blowing up your phone

- No, he was VERY wrong

- Lance got roped into showing them videos of you on drugs

- Their favorite was the one of you when you first came out from being under

- “I’m married? Oh my god, I married Nico Hülkenberg? This is the best day of my life”

- You were sobbing tears of joy

- Nico was sent the video immediately, you gave him permission via text to post it the next day

- The second favorite was your favorite to laugh at

- You went on a massive rant about how Susie Wolff is a MILF and how you hoped Toto could fight because the female driver was your woman crush and you WILL have her

- Susie loved the video (George and Lewis sent it in the Mercedes family gc), Toto… not as much but he was amused

- You got a lot of fussing drivers on Facetime during the meeting

- You were loopy af from the painkillers and general exhaustion during it, it wasn’t your fault they called you late

- Kimi forced them to shut up and hang up so you could sleep

- Carlos joked about being relieved that there wasn’t another race for you to follow his trend during an interview

- You won the first race the next year

- Your phone started blowing up with messages on social media wishing you a quick recovery

- Most of the book club showed up to your home after Abu Dahbi, wanting to make a quick stop to check in before the break

- “Hello, wife,” Nico greets you when he sees you

- You joked you were about to file for divorce from Lance, who just sighed and went to get you a carton of LEC

- You had to film you opening your secret santa gift and send it to the F1 social team

- You got a quilt blanket that had a square for each book you read with the club since it started

- You actually started sobbing (you blamed the meds, even if you were actually crying)

- Lewis got the biggest hug ever, he enlisted help from Valtteri for all the books

- You forced them to cut the parts of you crying out of the video

- You got Logan an old iPod full of popular music (you hacked into his phone to check the genres he liked) from his childhood and now

- Obviously you added headphones and a couple chargers

- Logan used it all the time, he called you immediately to thank you

- You had the honors of choosing the first book over winter break

- You chose an F1 romance novel

- Boy oh boy were those meetings fun, just tearing up the book for its inaccuracy

- Daniel vowed to write an accurate one and sell it

- Spoiler Alert: he never did

- But Fernando did

- It was an international bestseller

[judes-hoe]

Bitter rivals,Sweet love

Parrings~ Lewis Hamilton x oc

Summary~ She’s gonna be in f1 for her third year and goes to a team no one expects her to. She’s always got a cold expression and only those close to her know why. Shes been close one to many times to winning a championship and this year she’s gonna get it no matter what.

Warnings~ mutual mastrabation, making out, consent is asked for.

A/N~ CHAPTER 7 SHIT IS GETTING REAL

Pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vanessa looked at Toto like he had just stabbed her. “The fuck your mean the FIA is checking my car?” She said getting frustrated. “Calm down, they said that something might not match the measurements in your front wing.” Toto explained.

They sat there for almost an hour before they got answers. Vanessa got a penalty and moved back on the grid to p15, she was furious. Her team had checked the car multiple times.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was later at night Vanessa at the hotel laying in her bed scrolling on her phone. Lewis laying in his bed, but she couldn’t deny the tension anymore.

“Are we going to pretend that what happened a few days ago didn’t happen.” Vanessa asked out the blue. “Listen kid, you needed someone and I helped you, what they said wasn’t right, I helped you now let’s go back to normal.” He said and put his phone on his charger before turning his back to her. “Got it, you’re right, just wanted to help the hopeless kid who can’t defend herself.” She whispered to herself and also plugged her phone in turning to her side.

Lewis just let out a sigh hearing her words but doesn’t say anything. And like that they both go to sleep with tension still in the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Race day! Vanessa showed up to the paddock ready for this race, she had her confidence up and was ready to prove everyone wrong.

She did her pre race rituals and all that good stuff. Then she was in the car doing a formation lap. P15 she started, she was ready to dominate this race. The grid was now in their places after the formation lap. Vanessa watched the red lights turn on one by one, patiently waiting. As soon as the lights turned off she was off immediately gaining two lap.

Over the course of the first five laps she overtook to p9. Now behind lance, wasn’t that hard to overtake. Now behind Checo, another easy overtake. P6 behind Carlos which was hard as she tried to overtake him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the 60th lap, 3 laps left of the race Vanessa was p2 behind max and was gaining speed in him. In her mind she knew she might just get podium again, but something else was saying she was gonna win. She was .978 seconds behind max, they crossed the line. 2 laps left, she pushed as hard as she could.

.865 seconds as she uses her DRS when she could and is now .372 seconds behind. They passed the finish line again. 1 lap left. Vanessa gave it her all to pass max. Between turn four and five she finally passed him.

“Push Vanessa push!” Calvin came on the radio. Vanessa pushed her car and built a 1.736 second gap between her and max for the rest of the race.

As she crossed that finish line Calvin came back on the radio. “Vanessa you did it! You did it! God you did it! You won your first home race!” Vanessa couldn’t hold the tears back. “I did it Calvin…I-i did it, for them this is for them, and to prove everyone who thought i couldn’t do it, they can all fuck off!” Vanessa said through tears and sniffles. “Oh okay now watch the language lady.” Calvin said with a laugh.

Vanessa pulled up to the P1 spot with max at p2 and Lando at p3. Vanessa couldn’t get out her car quicker and stood at the front of her car and pointed at the sky. She then race to Mercedes who were waiting behind the barriers. She jumped over the barrier and they all hug and pat her back. All say something like ‘you did it!’ Or ‘congratulations!’. It was like a dream come true to her.

As she was set down she took her helmet off and put the Mercedes cap on drinking her water. She could feel eyes on her, not from the team or other drivers, but him. She look in the direction and saw him standing with a soft smile and nodding at her.

She did her interview and was answering the questions she was asked. “I mean it’s like a dream come true, finally winning my home race. I mean i obviously wish they were here to see this but I know they’re watching over with smiles. But I couldn’t be happier, this will always be-“ she was cut off by a tap on her shoulder, she looked and saw Ferrari team principal, Fred Vasseur, he was holding an Italian flag for her. She happily took it and gave him a hug before continuing her interview.

She took on the top step, listening as the Italian anthem played. She looked up in the sky with a smile closing her eyes, the Italian flag from earlier was wrapped around her like a cape.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late at night, partying with most of the grid and some of the Mercedes people. She had one drink, just a fruity drink as a treat for winning. It was midnight when the party had sorta died down, she had Daniel walk her back to the hotel to make sure she got back safe.

She walked into the hotel room and saw Lewis just on his phone. “Here you are, surprised you weren’t at the party?” She said going in her suitcase. “Didn’t feel like it.” He responded blankly. “Normally you’re a party type of guy?” She said but then she realized. “Is it because the party was basically for me?” She looked at him with a smirk. “No.” He scoffed.

There was a tension in the room but they didn’t know what. “You’re really that stubborn to not go to a party that’s about me?” She slightly teased him walking over to his bed. “No I just wasn’t in the mood alright?” He sat up and watched her walk closer to him.

They just stared at each other and Lewis stood in front of her. “You feel the tension too?” He asked looking in her eyes. “Yeah.” Was all she said and he smashed his lips on her holding her face in his hands. It was like a relief when he kissed her, she relaxed and kissed back. The kiss lasted for a moment before he pulled away. “You’re not like drunk or tipsy right?” He asked wanting to make sure he wasn’t taking advantage of her. “No, no I’m not, I don’t drink.” She said and looked at him with honesty in her eyes.

He then kissed her again a little deeper this time, he then laid her on the bed and his hands moved down her body. He then pulled away again. “You sure you want this?” He asked a little out of breath. Vanessa nods her head. “I’m sure Lewis, I can’t deny the tension anymore.” She said softly and her hands moved to the hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his head and throws it to the side.

They fully undressed themselves, Lewis lays next to Vanessa but in his side. His hand traveling down and teases her by rubbing her thigh. He’s kissing her neck, she then takes her hand that’s trapped between their bodies and reaches down and starts to jerk him off. It makes him let out a breathy moan and he slips his fingers inside her.

He has two fingers inside her, rubbing her clit with his thumb. Her hand speeding up around his cock. “Being such a good girl for me, always wanted to know what your had would feel like around me.” He said and sped his fingers up inside her making her moan a little louder. “Lewis, feels so good, please!” She said feeling her stomach tighten signaling she’s close. “Can feel you squeezing my fingers sweetheart, gonna cum for me?” He teased and rub his thumb faster over her clit.

She speeds her hand up on his cock. “Want you to cum with me.” Vanessa said between whines, he just smiles against her neck. “Shit Lewis I’m cumming!” She moans out, Lewis sits up more and smashes his lips on her to quiet her moans. As she finished her climax he slows his fingers down riding it out of her and he soon cums on his stomach and her hand. He pulls his fingers out and licks them clean before kissing her neck again. “Did such a good job for me.”

He then clean you both up, putting a pair of boxers on and helping you dress back up. Just as he went to lay in his bed you spoke up. “Stay in my bed, please.” She said quietly as she was about to fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: probably my longest chapter yet😭

Taglist: @tallrock35 @itsmrshamilton

[linterteatime]

All the hollow knight gijinkas i have made so far, with links for easy find (◕_◕)

Troupe Master Grimm, Divine, The Radiance, Brumm, Broken Vessel

Quirrel, Mantis Lords, Traitor Lord, The Knight/Ghost, Tiso

Hornet, Lace, Myla, The Collector, Bretta

Pure Vessel, White Lady, Pale King

Marissa, The Hollow Knight, Iselda, Xero, Eternal Emilitia

Monomon The Teacher, Cornifer, Cloth, Jiji, Soulmaster

Hive Knight, Queen Vespa, Grey Mourner, Traitors Child, Marmu

God Seeker, Blue Child Joni, Herrah The Beast, Midwife

Nightmare King Grimm, Markoth, Gorb, Zote The Mighty, No Eyes

Grimmchild , Dung Defender, Moss Prophet, Grub, Grey Prince Zote

Paint Master Sheo, Nailmaster Oro And Mato, Nailsage Sly, Nailsmith, Lurien The Watcher

Salubra, God Tammer, Pale Lurker, Seer, Thistlewind

Small changes to Pure Vessel, Troupe Master Grimm, The Radiance

Fierce Dryya, Mister Mushroom, The Hunter, Snail Shaman

Isma, Revek, Steel Soul Jinn, Tuk

Flukemarm, Fluke Hermit, Dream Warrior Galien, Relic Seeker Lemm

Milibelle, Nosk, Elderbug, Maggot

Grimmkin Novice, Grimmkin Master, Grimmkin Nightmare, Elder Hu

Distant Villagers, Grimm Steed, Massive Moss Charger, Kingsmould

Unn, Cristal Guardian, False Knight/Mighty Hegemol, Watcher Knights

Gruz Mother, Vengefly King, Leg Eater, Menderbug

Willoh, Grubfather, Hot Spring Bugs, Mask Maker

The Last Stag/Old Stag, Brooding Mawlek, Little Fool, Soul Warrior

Ummu, Bardoon, Soul Twister, Volt Twister, Mistake, Folly

Extra stuff for the gijinkas + Fixes for old ones

Greenpath Vessel, Ellina The Chronicler, oblobbles, royal retainers

White Defender, Lord Fool, Winged Nosk, Grub Mimic

(Greenpath enemies): Mosscreep, Mossfly, Mosskin, Volatile mosskin, Fool eater, Squit, Obble, Gulka, Maskfly, Moss knight, Mossy vagabond, Durandoo, Duranda, Aluba

(Fog canyon enemies, The hive enemies, and 3 other ones without groups): Ooma, Uoma, Lumafly, Lifeseed, Bluggsac, Wingmould, Husk hive, Hive soldier, Hiveling, Hive guardian.

(Enemies from the abyss, ancient basin, and some others): knight's shade, siblings, lightseed, infected balloon, mawlurk, lesser mawlek, shadow creeper, entombed husk, void tendrils.

(Enemies from fungal wastes and a few mantises) : Ambloom, Fungling, Fungoon, Sporg, Fungified Husk, Shrumeling, Shrumal Warrior, Shrumal Ogre, Mantis Youth, Mantis Warrior, Mantis Petra.

(Enemies from the city of tears) : Husk Sentry, Heavy Sentry, Winged Sentry, Lance Sentry, Husk Dandy, Cowardly Husk/Lurien the Watcher's butler, Gluttonous Husk, Gorgeous Husk, Great Husk Sentry, Belfly.

(I will make more dw)

[catsushinyakajima]

hey hey I finished reading your "the adults are talking" and you WRECKED ME, like I genuinely don't think you could understand how absolutely ripped apart and splayed open I was. I was crying thick sob tears and putting the fic down, just to pick it back up and immediately start crying again. happened like 4 times.

you wrote it so, so wonderfully, and truly captured insecure Lance in a way that broke me. the characterization in each paladin member was distinctive and fit in the scenario, from their emotional reactions, to their outward displays, to the unique patterns of their speech (and even writing, for Keith n Lance). I loved how you wrote Keith and Lance, but I also absolutely loved the scene where Shiro talks to Lance, cause FUCK, it fucking hurt but was SO in character for him. devastating blow.

also the idea is so perfect? especially for langst?? and executed even more perfectly????? the pacing carried the emotion through it, never too rushed or slow, it was just... perfect.

anyways I'm currently reading through the other KL fics you've got and immensely enjoying the experience, but I needed to tell you how much this fic got to me. you wonderful wonderful writer 🙏

quick link to fic before my response: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59321800

HI HI OKAY SO-

*hands you a tissue for your tears* sorry?? I suppose?? But also your welcome?? I suppose??

It means so much to me that you like my work. Like so much. I'm like squirming with excitement, which is not good because it's causing my laptop to connect/disconnect from charging repeatedly (my charger is weird idk and my laptop's on my lap).

I can never tell how my writing is perceived to others because I'm so used to my words so every time I read it I'm like "okay....ig??" So this is great confirmation that my writing does NOT SUCK THANK YOU!! Thank you very much. It means a lot to my writer heart.

I think speaking is such a valuable and preferred method of communication to Lance. More than having a lot on his mind to say, I think it is a way for him to genuinely connect with people and he puts a lot of weight into his words and the words of people around him (especially if those words are directed at him). I'd like to think that its importance to him is a double edged blade. There are positives such as treasurable interactions, being able to express himself, having a thriving social life, etc. But there are also negatives like over-picking people's words or lack thereof, worrying about saying the wrong thing or too much/too little, putting so much value into his words that it starts to feel meaningless, etc. I wanted to play with the balance between these factors and that's how I came up with this fic!

I'm glad that the way I portrayed his thoughts and feelings resonated with you. I struggle with similar anxieties and it was very natural for me to write Lance's perspective in this fic, so I understand why it would feel personal. I hope that you are never in a situation where uh...you get zapped and your voice box gets paralyzed so you can't speak and are in imminent pain?? But in all seriousness, there is importance to yourself and your words no matter what you or others lead you to believe. Similar to the way I didn't realize the extent of the impact my fic had on people, you might not realize the impact you have on other people. Exhibit A: Your message to me was genuinely so kind and every single sentence you took the time to write means so much to me. I'm definitely coming back to this ask whenever I'm feeling down.

On another note, I feel so bad for making you cry that I'm thinking of writing a Lance Fluff fic to make up for it. What would that be called? If there's Langst, then would that be L' Fluff? Lafluff? L' Hurt/Comfort? If you have any requests or ideas let me know because I'm writing it with you in mind- no pressure, though.

Anyways see you around! I hope you have a good day and week and month and forever and read more good KL fics! Once again, thanks so much for reading!

[nieded]

what are Ezira and AJ like on a long road trip? Which car from their garage would they take? What snacks do they bring? Which one gets pulled over for going eighty in a thirty?

aj and ezira did go on a road trip across california when they were first starting out as a couple! though of course, it would have taken a lot of work to import a car to the states, and so they had a rental. if they could have taken one of their cars, they would have settled on the la ferrari, which could handle the switchbacks of the serria nevada.

maybe someday they will take the road trip that newt and ligur talked about from montpellier to cologne.

the actual reality is that they would take the gti, if they had a choice from their own garage. hypercars are notoriously unreliable. they are not meant for road trips. they aren't really meant to be driven, honestly. replacing brakes on a la ferrari (which is a common maintenance item!!!) costs 40k. the SO works next door to an italian repair shop that exclusively does ferraris, lambos, alfas, and fiats. they have had a lamborghini aventador sitting in the shop for months because it requires a new set of special tires, which they only release every couple of years. so it's just waiting for a random shipment that may or may not come in the next year. the lifespan on hypercars for maintenance items like oil changes and brakes are much much shorter than the average car.

also, where would their luggage go? they will definitely need boot space. crowley's a pain to fly with because he always has extra luggage for stuff: skincare, haircare, nail polish, nail polish remover, extra hats that he will not wear, extra shoes that he will also not wear, but he has them just in case they do the beach or a hike. (and still, he wears his boots.) chargers for his electronics and back up batteries just in case. and weed. road trips are excellent when transporting the goods.

but crowley has no opinion on snacks. thankfully, ezira has all the opinions on snacks. healthy choices such as snacking peppers and carrots and seaweed chips to just cake. lots of biscuits. he has a kettle in the back so they can make periodic petrol stops to boil hot water. and should they stop and pick up more ice for the cooler? just in case? and in the end, they only eat half of it because every four hours, he's on google maps researching local restaurants and cafes for nibbles.

and realistically, neither of them will get pulled over for speeding, but if one of them had to, it'd be crowley. ezira hates driving around civilians. it's much safer to be going 190 on a race track. but average joes are unpredictable. get off your phone! use the indicator (to the beemer, i'm looking at you). oops you missed your exit and are now crossing six lanes of interstate... everybody's out here being lance stroll. ezira absolutely hates it, and if you spend 15 minutes on r/idiotsincars, you will too. there's very little ezira sticks his nose up at, but civilians. *shudders*

but they wouldn't drive over the speed limit, not too much. that's for work. crowley will take it slow through the alps so ezira can take pictures of the clear blue lakes and snow-capped mountains. they'll take turns with the bluetooth, donna summer and pink floyd for crowley, abba and death cab for ezira, and they'll talk about the race season and the spots they want to revisit in america and italy and japan. they'll wonder what ceres has destroyed at marnie and lili's and what the nibling is up to. if she's crawling yet because that means she's almost walking and if she's running they can stick her in a go kart.

but the silence would be good too at night, windows down, one of crowley's feet out the window when it's ezira's turn to drive (less people, more deer, but he will take his chances). and they'll stop on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere between two cities and look up and up and up at the sky, stars twinkling above. and crowley will think about how he's crossed finish lines filled with fireworks, stood on the platform in monza once upon a time when the tifosi flooded the track, sat in the cockpits of wheeled rocketships, unbelievable feats of engineering from mankind, and think nothing could compare to the darkest night in the quiet with his beloved.

it's not about going fast. it's about drawing it out, sitting in the cabin with each other and no one else, as if they could sneak one more minute, one more hour together before they're pulled across the globe in opposite directions. they love it. they love the racing and the adrenaline and the fireworks (but not the jet lag and missed calls and wondering if the other is sleeping ok). they love that feeling of peeling their racing gloves off after hours of sweating and swearing, the long drink of water after a long drive. but. but they love each other more.

[voltronisanobsession]

Platonic! Voltron x Tiktok Obsessed Reader

Just another silly headcanon I thought of, i kinda get lost in the sauce when I’m scrolling through tiktok so i was inspired to do this😍🙏 enjoy my guys xoxo💋

Let’s imagine that tiktok is still a relevant thing during this time since this show is set in the future😻

Even before leaving Earth, Reader was very obsessed with tiktok. Phone opened on the app already, you probably had like a couple hours stacked on it. It was the only thing that kept you from dying of boredom

So when leaving the planet, you were DEVASTATED to see that your phone was quite literally useless in space

No charger, no wifi, and no more silly videos to entertain you

The most you had was your camera but the battery was a major problem

The team notices your more dazed-off look during meetings and on missions, often seeing you fiddle with your phone and just swiping through all your apps

That's until you go to Pidge to see if she can work some magic which SHE IS ABLE TO DO (so slay of her tbh)

She explains that she was able to route the phones connection to the electric waves from nearby planets but you stopped listening at that point

You’re both amazed when you reboot the app to see it completely different, yet similar to what it was before, only now it was filled with many different kinds aliens and their own videos

You are able to see the different environments and types of aliens that are scattered across the universe which was super cool to you!!!!

Cue you literally recording EVERYTHING the team does, let it be missions, meetings, or even fights which starts pissing Keith off a bit (bro feels like you’re not taking the whole voltron thing seriously💀💀)

It doesn’t bother you though since now you’re able to drag Lance and Hunk to do different kinds of trends that are popular on the new app

You manage to build up a small fan base because of the videos on your account, many people loving seeing the life of a paladin of Voltron😻‼️‼️

At one point you manage to get all of the paladins and Coran to do mini “get to know the team” videos (which I imagine are like the short videos on YouTube if you know which ones I mean)

Keith thinks the readers whole tiktok account is dumb and ‘useless’ in his words but is completely in shock when you get recognized by many people when visiting new planets because of your popularity

Shiro I think might find the whole thing a bit strange but he definitely entertains your ideas and involves himself with your account. You make him feel young when you force him to do one of the trends that is popular during that time

Allura doesn’t fully understand what the app is used for and see no real use for it until she realizes that your spreading the word of Voltron around. Then she does start forcing herself into your videos, which you don’t really mind (she loves being in your videos but is really awkward💔)

Lance is the one who is with you in most of your videos, often doing dance trends or mini vlogs with you. He loves how people also know him and enjoys the popularity he has with your followers😜 Has stolen your phone just to have Lance one on ones with your followers

Hunk is another one who usually is dragged into any shenanigans you and Lance are up to, whether it’s pranking one of the paladins or teaching your followers how to cook meals (he loves the compliments people give him when they try his recipes out)

Pidge RARELY is in any of your videos, mostly because she doesn’t like having a camera shoved up her face randomly. But she sometimes does do one of your dumb videos when she’s bored and has nothing to do, which leads to you featuring her more often

Keith is a fan favorite honestly, the people love his sarcastic and brooding attitude, which he claims he doesn’t have. He doesn’t mind being in your videos but he’s most of the time standing like a wall not knowing what to do with himself💀💀 (he enjoys being included with you guys though💔)

Coran LOVES being in your videos since he feels like the main character in them! He’s actually stolen your phone multiple times just so he could post some videos of himself, he loves the attention he gets by being Voltrons secondhand man hehe

Overall, the team grew to enjoy your funny and inclusive videos, it helps them break out of the serious routine they’ve gotten used to while in space :D

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders Viewers' Choice: Don Quixote

today on Grailfinders we’re making Charle- wait, no, not him yet. today we’re making Don Quixote, the man de la mancha! he’s a Swords Bard to get a little too into tales of chivalry and make fantasies into reality, as well as a Watchers Paladin to bring reality crashing back down, but not before proving himself as a hero. maybe.

check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Ancestry & Background

we’ll get to Dulcinea/sancho panza/Rocinante later, but don quixote is definitely a Human. that gives him +1 Strength and Charisma, as well as proficiency in Acrobatics because you definitely fall off your horse plenty and don’t die, as well as the Charger feat. now when you dash, you can use your bonus action to attack or shove a creature, and as a bonus, if you move more than 10’ in a straight line beforehand, you either deal extra damage, or push them even further. it’s not a “good” feat, but it fits with the don’s battle style of charging in without much of a plan.

of course, quixote’s a noble so he gets proficiency in History and Persuasion as well. he’s a little too proficient in history for his own good, and people usually at least play along with whatever nonsense he’s gotten himself into.

Ability Scores

number one is Charisma. it’s how he casts spells, and presumably how his love for stories about knights is warping reality. second is Constitution, because it doesn’t measure how much health you have, but how many hits you can take and keep going. and god knows Quixote doesn’t know when to give up. third is Strength, while that probably should be lower, we need it for multiclassing and I’m not enough of a sadist to do that to you. your Dexterity is just okay. he’s a bit clumsy but its usually played for slapstick comedy. that means your Intelligence is middling- he’s well read, but only in fiction books- and we’re dumping Wisdom. if that’s a surprise to you I really don’t know what to say.

Class Levels

1. Bard 1: since quixote was a nerd and then he tried to be a night, we’ll be getting all his bard levels first, then go to paladin afterwards. that’s probably not the best way to do it in-game, but I’m a sucker for symbolism.

still, as a bard you start off with proficiency in Dexterity and Charisma saves, as well as three skills of your choice- Athletics to charge without getting wind(mill)ed, Animal Handling to ride a horse moderately well, and Deception to fool a country into thinking you’re a king. good luck with that btw, I haven’t gotten that far in traum yet.

you also gain Bardic Inspiration- as a bonus action you can give an ally an extra d6 to add to an attack, check, or save they make in the next minute.

also, you can cast Spells using your Charisma! cantrips like Blade Ward to not die til you have armor on, or Mage Hand for a lightweight Dulcinea; or even spells like Command to be a little kingly on occasion, Feather Fall for your flying girlfriend/horse to break your fall, Unseen Servant for a heavy duty Dulcinea, or Heroism to inspire yourself and others into a battle they probably shouldn’t be fighting.

it’s worth pointing out that bards don’t get proficiency with lances, but you can either call his weapon a spear or let him be not proficient with it. it’s pretty in-character tbh.

2. Bard 2: at level two you become a Jack of All Trades, giving you half proficiency in every ability you’re not explicitly proficient in. I think this is the first time I’d call this feature out of character, but we need it to get anything else out of the class. you can also perform a Song of Rest during short rests for an extra d6 of healing but that’s so negligible it’s barely worth mentioning.

the big bonus this level is your Magical Inspiration- now your inspiration dice can be added to healing or damaging spells to help them fantasy up the place. you can also cast Longstrider this level, quickening your step so you can move ten feet faster for an hour. it’s not huge, but it’s concentration-free!

3. Bard 3: at level three you graduate from the College of Swords, giving you proficiency with medium armor so you can finally get that breastplate out of your closet and go adventuring! you also get the Dueling fighting style, adding 2 points of damage to every attack you make with only one weapon in hand.

you also learn how to make Blade Flourishes by spending your inspiration dice. now your attack actions always increase your walking speed by 10 feet, and upon hitting something you can add an inspiration die to the damage and get one of three benefits. a Defensive Flourish adds the same roll to your AC for a round, a Slashing Flourish deals that damage to every creature you choose next to you, and a Mobile Flourish pushes the target, and then you can react to have Dulcinea drag you back into melee range.

you can also cast second level spells this level, like Enhance Ability, which gives you advantage on one kind of ability check. you can literally gaslight yourself into being stronger now! speaking of checks, your Expertise doubles your proficiency bonus in Persuasion and History checks.

4. Bard 4: at fourth level you can use your first Ability Score Improvement on something useful… or dump it into Charisma for stronger spells. spells like Minor Illusion to make little fantasies for free, or Kinetic Jaunt to ricochet around the battlefield even more! for up to a minute afterwards, your speed is increased by 10’, you don’t have to worry about attacks of opportunity, and you can move through creatures without slowing down! a knight always has to be on the front lines, after all. probably.

5. Bard 5: fifth level bards get some big ol’ boons, like a bigger Bardic Inspiration die, as well as becoming a Font of Inspiration, so you can recharge them on short rests instead of long ones. also you can start learning third level spells like Dispel Magic! it feels rough to end the fantasy before it begins, but it’s hard to get this spell later. it will instantly break any magic of third level or lower, and there’s a charisma check to break higher level spells. given how busted your ability checks can be, I doubt you’ll have a problem dealing with that.

6. Bard 6: at sixth level, bards can use a Countercharm to prevent their allies from being charmed or frightened for a round. it’s not great, you use your action on it, it doesn’t last long, and it only gives advantage on saves. still in-character though. even better, you get an Extra Attack each action, so now you can attack twice instead of once.

also you can cast Motivational Speech this level! it’s a more offensively-focused Heroism, which fits your skillset better.

7. Bard 7: seventh level bards get fourth level spells, like Confusion. let’s be honest, you were confusing people way before this, now it’s just official.

8. Bard 8: at eighth level you can max out your Charisma using your next ASI, and Dulcinea can also help free you from any predicaments you get caught in by giving you Freedom of Movement. while moving freely, difficult terrain and magic cannot slow you down or make you paralyzed or restrained, and nonmagical restraints can be escaped from with just five feet of movement. you even get to move at full speed underwater! I think the only water don quixote falls in in the books is a well, so this is probably canon.

9. Bard 9: ninth level bards get fifth level spells, and we can finally make your ascension-hopping make more sense thanks to the Seeming spell. for eight hours, you and anyone within 30’ of you will look different (if they don’t want to they can try a charisma save but good luck), allowing you to change their physical appearance as well as any clothes or equipment they’ve got. now you can turn beat up old relics into proper knighting around armor!

10. Bard 10: at tenth level, you get another round of Expertise to double down on your Deception game and your Acrobatics. you also learn a new cantrip, True Strike! it’s bad, but your strength score is still a 14 at level ten, so you’ll need all the help to hit you can get. also you can cast Legend Lore too, to learn (or make up) fantastical stories about whatever piece of garbage you find on your adventures.

the fun doesn’t stop there though! your Bardic Inspiration die grows to a d10, and you learn Magical Secrets, letting you pick up spells from other classes! now you can finally Summon Celestial to bring Dulcinea to life, or use Nystul’s Magic Aura to make your armor seem even more special than it already is. the latter spell lets you make nonmagical items magical or vice-versa, at least as far as magical detection is concerned. you can even make living things show up as other kinds of creatures, but that’s outside quixote’s scope.

11. Paladin 1: you’ve got all your delusions of grandeur, so now let’s get questing! at level one, you get proficiency with all martial weapons, so that means you can finally use a lance all proper-like. also you think you have a Divine Sense to root out otherworldly foes as an action 6 times a day. you’ll figure out what kind of enemy you’re facing, but not their exact identity. unless you make one up for them, of course.

also you can Lay on Hands, drawing from a pool of HP to give to yourself or your lady Dulcinea as an action. you can spend five points to curse diseases or poisonings, and they recharge on long rests.

12. Paladin 2: second level paladins get their own kind of Spellcasting, which also uses your charisma. unlike bards, paladins can swap their spells each day, so you can get a bit more loosey goosey here. that being said, I suggest checking out the Compelled Duel spell to force your dreaded nemeses to draw steel, Ceremony to give them a chance to repent like the noble knight you are, and Shield of Faith to actually make your shield a bit better for short periods of time.

you could also use those spell slots to make some Divine Smites, spending magic to deal extra damage with your lance. you’ve even got fifth level spell slots already, so you’re actually ahead of the curve compared to pure paladins. (right, almost forgot to mention, check your PHB to see what spell slots you have at any given point from here on out, multiclassing makes it weird.)

moving away from spells for a second, you get another Fighting Style, and the Protection style is perfect for a gallant knight protecting his lady love. when a creature next to you is being attacked, you can react to put your shield between them and their attacker, forcing disadvantage on the roll.

13. Paladin 3: at third level, you join the Watchers, and elite group of paladins dedicated to defeating evil from other worlds… which, if you’re being very generous, is what don quixote’s already been doing! (hey, his imagination isn’t the material plane.) when you join up, you can Channel Divinity once per short rest, letting you invoke the Watcher’s Will to give five creatures advantage on intelligence, wisdom, and charisma saves for a minute, or you can Abjure the Extraplanar to send aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, and fiends packing if they fail their wisdom save. alternatively, you can Harness Divine Power, spending your CD usage to regain a spell slot.

you also get free spells that are always prepared for you, Alarm and Detect Magic. quixote seems naturally jumpy, and you can’t end fantasy if you don’t know it’s there, probably.

you’re also in Divine Health, letting you ignore any diseases you get. sunstroke isn’t a disease though, you might want to get that checked out.

14. Paladin 4: at fourth level you get another ASI, and we could improve your strength so you can hit things better… orrr we can get Mage Slayer! now casting spells next to you provokes an attack of opportunity, and you get better at ending fantasy without even using a spell slot because everyone you hit has disadvantage on their concentration saves! you also get advantage on your saves against melee range spells.

15. Paladin 5: fifth level paladins get second level spells, a nice consolation prize since their extra attack doesn’t work with your bardic one. your freebies include Moonbeam, which will destroy any shapeshifters it hits, and See Invisibility. neither wolfman nor the invisible man could exist in 15th century Spain, I’m sad to say.

you can also Find Steed if you need Roccinante without all the others attached, or turn your lance into a Magic Weapon so you can actually hit people with it.

16. Paladin 6: at sixth level you get an Aura of Protection, giving everyone within 10’ of you a whopping +5 bonus to every save they make. some people thing spellcasting is a good choice of profession, so I guess it’s time you destroy their fantasy.

17. Paladin 7: seventh level watchers have an Aura of the Sentinel, giving you and everyone within ten feet of you a +6 to their initiative rolls. when you’re literally tilting at windmills, you’re always ready for a fight.

18. Paladin 8: okay fiiiine, I guess you can improve your Strength to something “not bad”, if you really want. now you might be able to actually hit the windmills when you fight them.

19. Paladin 9: ninth level paladins get third level spells, finally giving you Counterspell to stop fantasies in progress, and Nondetection to turn into a regular old man, no matter how many magical items you’ve picked up over this adventure.

we’ll also grab one last anti-fantasy spell with Remove Curse so now there’s practically no magic you can’t suppress, as well as Blinding Smite and Spirit Shroud for a more powerful girlfriend/squire/horse.

20. Paladin 10: with our final level, you exude an Aura of Courage, making you and friendly creatures nearby immune to being frightened. some say it’s because the image of a gallant knight riding to battle can stir the heart of the most craven of men, others say it’s because you suck all the gravitas out of a situation, but either way you won’t be fleeing any time soon.

Pros & Cons:

Pros:

bards are especially good at destroying magic, meaning this build can give even Medea and Sima Yi a run for their money in the anti-magic field. with maxed out charisma, an additional half-proficiency, and advantage from enhance ability, you have an effective +13 on your spellbreaking checks! that’s a 75% chance of breaking through ninth level magic, no matter what spell slots you use.

you’re also great at getting around. no, not like that, I mean you’re a speedy little bugger and you’re hard to pin down, letting you make sure you’re always in the least convenient spot for your enemies.

also you’ve got maxed out charisma and expertise in two different charisma skills, so you can dominate any conversation. whether that’s actually a good thing for your party or not is up to you.       

Cons:

I know I said charger is a bad feat, but it is impressive how poorly it slots into this build. you’ve already got spells that can improve your mobility, so it probably doesn’t help too much there, and not only does it stop you from using your inspiration or divine smites by eating your bonus action, but it prevents you from using your flourishes by keeping you away from the attack action to boot! in a similar vein, mage killer is nice, but if you’re using a lance you’d want to keep people at a ten foot range, not a five foot one, which negates most of the feat.

don’t spend ten levels straight in bard. just don’t. having divine smites or an aura of protection would have been super helpful earlier than we got them, and also we can’t actually use a lance as a spellcasting focus until we’re proficient with them- which currently doesn’t happen until level 11. that’s a long time to wait for a basic part of your build to work right.

the don doesn’t really have any clear direction about what they’re supposed to be doing at any point in time. you could go on defense with powerful anti-magic, or offense with divine smites, but both eat into the same resource and require your full attention to work well. and you might have high charisma, but you have terrible insight, so you’re likely to fall for the first liar you come across- making you the party’s face would be a recipe for disaster. thankfully your deception’s high enough that you can pretend those flaws don’t exist, and everyone will believe you.

[coimbrabertone]

I Guess We Gotta Talk About Andretti...

So, I've been rather negative when it comes to modern F1 on this blog, and unfortunately, we gotta go there again this week.

So, this week, at Indycar's Long Beach Grand Prix - which turned into a pretty good race at the end - Mario Andretti was interviewed when it comes to his son, Michael's, bid to bring Andretti to Formula One as an eleventh team.

Mario, the 1978 Formula One World Champion, said that he's offended and finds it ridiculous that F1 has rejected the application, that Andretti has worked hard to create a deal with GM, has promised to support drivers in F2 and F3, and that value is added to Formula One by having an eleventh team. Basically, Andretti has met every hurdle that FOM has put ahead of them, and what have the FOM and the teams done in turn?

The teams are trying to get a ten-team limit put into the new Concorde Agreement.

Do I think that Andretti would instantly fix all my problems with modern F1? No.

Do I think F1 would be more interesting with another team? Yes.

Why? Because first of all, so many drivers have been stuck on the outside because there's too few seats in F1. Felipe Drugovich is doing fuck all this season because he couldn't get an F1 drive as a runaway F2 champion. Theo Pourchaire, the next F2 champion, is about to do his second Indycar race this weekend with Arrow McLaren. Mick Schumacher, Callum Ilott, and Robert Shwartzman are all in sports cars after super promising F3 and F2 careers. Marcus Armstrong is in Indycar, Louis Deletraz in IMSA, etc, etc.

Even Oscar Piastri, who has one of the most successful junior careers of recent memory, had to take a year off and ended up debuting with McLaren instead of Alpine.

All of these guys who could have F1 seats are instead doing amazing things in other series. Meanwhile, Lance Stroll has an Aston seat because his dad owns the team, Yuki Tsunoda has an Alpha Tauri seat because Honda wants a Japanese driver, and Daniel Ricciardo is his teammate for reasons that even Red Bull seems puzzled about at this point.

Adding two seats in F1 could improve that situation.

At least one of those seats would likely go to an American, and maybe Logan Sargeant has soured some people's tastes towards that, but hey, if you're going to have three races in the US, you're gonna need American talent to help support that interest.

Haas sure as hell isn't doing a good job of being an American team. Hell, Haas isn't doing a good job of much of anything. They have no ambition, they have two safe, boring, older drivers who will score a few points every once in awhile and let the team collect its prize money check at the end of the season. There's nothing exciting about that, Haas isn't going to have some young charger to breathe life into the back of the grid, Haas isn't going to master the 2026 regulations and give some amazing Brawn storyline, they don't even make their own cars - they have Dallara do it.

Andretti is going to have more ambition than that, I can guarantee that if nothing else. Andretti has three full time cars in Indycar, a bunch of cars in Indy Lights, two cars in IMSA in association with Wayne Taylor Racing, and is potentially laying the groundwork for a move into NASCAR as well.

Marco Andretti is in Trucks while Gainbridge, a major investor in Andretti, has been popping up on the Spire cars, along with rumors that Gainbridge and Andretti wanting to buy into the team.

All of this along with a share in an Australian Supercars team, a Formula E team, and Extreme E. They're a global team that isn't afraid to spend money. They're trying to win championships in series across the world.

F1 doesn't think all of that is good enough.

Why? Because that would mean the teams have to split money eleven ways instead of ten. That's it. That's the entire reason.

Paddock space? Space for twenty-six cars is written into the rules.

Value added? Look at all that stuff above, Andretti isn't coming to F1 to fuck around, and even if it was, half the grid is doing the same thing.

It's all about the money.

As much as I fully believe Andretti is overqualified for F1, I almost want them to say fuck it and abandon F1, put the money into the rest of your series. Marcus Ericsson, Kyle Kirkwood, and Colton Herta are competitive each and every week in an Indycar series where being a few tenths off could put you at the back of the field. The #10 and #40 WTR Andretti cars in IMSA are major championship threats. Plus, if Andretti can get that Spire deal and get into NASCAR, that's a sport that's experiencing its own resurgence in popularity.

I know NASCAR is very much focused in the US but having 4.3 million viewers for Talladega this last weekend is four times the ratings that F1 pulls, and everyone's talking about how big F1 is becoming in the US. F1 is getting all these American sponsors and American races, but whenever it comes to letting more Americans into the sport, there's always this hostility.

Motorsports is more than just F1, and the more F1 turns up its nose at the rest of motorsports, the more it alienates fans like me.

Which is a damn shame, because F1 was my first love in motorsports.

[alolanrain]

So regional Dragon type specialists right, youd think that they are the most put together based on their public appearances on TV and online right? Wrong

Lance keeps everything professional but behind closed doors or when nobody is watching he is an absolute menace, regularly spars hand-to-paw/claw with his pokemon (yes even his Hydregon and it thinks its funny whenever it fakes him out) this man also has the tendancy to seemingly teleport behind people especially during his G-Man work (ie Rocket Grunt thinks their safe and the next minute they know theyre being german suplexed by a red haired man in a cape like he's Batman or something)

Drake is an enigma being the oldest acting Hoenn League member but nobody really knows much about him (the man barely makes any live appearances and any League challengers over the past 20 years havent even gotten past his Flygon except for Steven of course) nobody knows where he lives or where he even came from (they ask and every single time they get a different awnser with the strangest being Poni Island, nobody knows how old he is and speculates that he is immortal) Briney knows everything about him and refuses to tell because its both hilarious and also just a straight up cognito hazard and will not elaborate

Draydon is relatively normal until back when he and Alder were young Alder saw him deadlifting a boulder with zero effort (the guy is insanely strong) people do speculate that he and Drake might be related and he refuses to dispute or prove it, the beard however is just gravity defying and what makes it worse is that he doesnt use gel or anything its just like that with no explanation (funnily enough he holds back in all of his battles and if he didnt he could easily become champion, Iris took after that energy and evicerated everything in her path while wearing her magical girl champion costume)

Drasna generally keeps to herself but she likes to piss off Seibold on occasion and sics him on paparazzi when she gets bored (usually in the form of 'oh dear it looks like youre getting review bombed again' followed by very angry mega blastoise noises and the loudest Kalosian swearing you can imagine) she was at one point a poison specialist with her Dragalge but partially moved away from it (she still has an insanely overpowered Naganadel that nobody knows where or when she got it)

Raihan knows just about anything you could ask for, need to know the history of the Turffield Rock Formations? He knows it at the top of his head, where to find a super specific type of phone charger? Wyndon Stadium Kiosk on the 45th floor the red ones suck get the yellow ones, Where to get a Japanese dub of Space Buddies? Spikemuth district apartment complex 3rd floor knock on the 4th door say you want butter noodles and the guy will slide you a copy on a burnt DVD, Where the hell is Leon? Put an air tag on his cape last year Leon is currently lost in a pocket dimension being taunted by a small green onion fairy (Raihan also has several alt accounts that just post anywhere from doing handmade cosplay weapons to baking to somehow a podcast with Clemont and Iono about the importance of RGB gamer light PC setups while neither of them know its him)

Everything about this ask that has graced my inbox is an automatic yes.

Lance having to spend a fortune on clothes and going through wardrobe after wardrobe because his clothes get torn by his play flighting/work out. Also having a little whiteboard on the fridge at the gym-men head quarters or at the elite four castle with “how many Rocket Grunts Lance has suplexed this month.” On it with the score.

The entire Hoenn league begs Mr.Briney to divulge information about Drake and he’s tight lipped. Steven has even worse luck since Drake keeps giving him “my paperwork’s already been filed when I started this position, it doesn’t need to be fixed or filed in any different way.” And said file is so officially redacted by a past Champion that has now sadly passed.

Somehow and somewhere hidden very strategically, there are polaroid photo’s of Drayden doing lunges across a gym with him holding Alders in a fireman carry when they were both young. There might be a video as well that may or may not have been accidentally lost in a city by the Champion and got snatched up off the street later in the day. Sitting somewhere in some poor persons drunk drawer because they saw a cute cam corder that doesn’t properly work anymore.

Drasna is totally scheming when it comes to Seibold. There’s always a little prank she’s writing down on scrap papers during long meeting or waiting for challengers to come through the elite four. Picking on her coworker and getting away with it is her favorite pass time.

Raihan is a walking encyclopedia on almost anything and everything. He gets text messages not only from the other dragon trainers in the leagues but also almost everyone else, including Clemont on the rare occasion, and he always takes time to respond back with either a link to a website with proper information or to craft a well knowledge text message.

[keithkog]

Kosmo chewed through one of our power cords and now me and Lance have to share a charger. This is torture. I think my communicator may just die, so if I go offline for a little bit, that’s why. May not though, Lance needs to just stop being a charger hog!

-Keith

[archsarmedadvice]

Knights, Horses, and the Medieval Battlefield

This post is a focused version of a larger post, many thanks to Arch for allowing it here!

The Medieval Horse

During the middle ages, horses were not actually defined by breed. They were defined by the work the horse was suited and trained to preform. There were five main types of medieval horses.

The Destrier

Also called The Great Horse for its size, strength, and price, this horse was the renown mount of knights and kings in battle. These horses were highly trained for battle, and could be taught to do such things as striking out at soldiers in front, kicking at soldiers from the back, and even leaping all four feet in the air to protect it’s rider. They would wear the most armor, and these horses would likely be closest in appearance to the modern Andalusian.

^‘The Modern Knight’, Jason Kingsley, and his horse Warlord.

The Courser/The Charger

A lighter horse than the destrier, the courser is also a warhorse, highly trained and well-bred, but a little less expensive. A knight might not be able to afford a destrier, especially as a minor knight, but every knight should have a courser. The Spanish Jennet is the epitome of the medieval courser, and in fact was the horse used by Richard II. According to Shakespeare, the horse’s name was White Surrey, although other sources claim the horse was Roan Barbary, and was a Barb or Berber horse*.

*Bought from Spain and likely a cross of Spanish and African blood, so a Jennet. But Jennet was also a classification of a horse type in those days, so, sources are muddled.

^Barb/Berber horses in traditional garb

The Rouncey

The ‘average’ horse of the time, this horse was used mainly for riding, but could sometimes be ridden into battle if trained properly, and were the preferred horse for lower-class fighters such as archers or men-at-arms. As it described a riding horse, these horses came in all shapes and sizes, from all lineages, and in all colors. In peacetime they could be used to draw carriages or work fields. A proud and expensive destrier would never be caught pulling a plow.

The Palfrey

A highly-bred, highly trained horse, this horse is a high quality riding horse known for a specific gait, called an ambling gait. This horse had a special pattern of moving its feet that gave the rider a considerably more comfortable ride than the traditional 4 gaited horse. After the middle ages, these horses almost disappeared, only to be recovered in the Americas in the form of 'gaited’ horses such as the Paso Fino, the Rocky Mountain Horse, the Missouri Foxtrotter, and the Tennessee Walking Horse. The Icelandic horse has also retained the special Tölt gait that may* be the exact gait of medieval ambling horses.

^A fine lady on her steady palfrey

The Packhorse

This describes any kind of horse, usually a rouncey, that is used not for riding but to carry supplies. Packhorses could also be mules, donkeys, and ponies, so long as they could carry weight for long miles. These were supply horses, carrying food, weapons, tents, whatever else may be needed.

^Pack horses can be strung together in long 'strings’ of horses for transportation, or a single packhorse may follow through herd instinct. Packhorses are also rideable, if you want to give the main horse a rest.

Horses on the Battlefield

Now, if you have seen the above scene, you have probably seen The Hollow Crown, a historical drama with a few late Medieval battle scenes. In these scenes, knight clashes against knight in a furious charge, leading to pitched battles on horseback. I’m not going to say that never happened, but by and large cavalry was directed against infantry, not other cavalry, or used to conduct maneuvers requiring speed and surprise, such as a charge, a circling maneuver, a bluff retreat and most importantly, to chase down routing enemy soldiers.

A knight on horseback was most effective in close quarters against unmounted and surprised soldiers. Lances were the primary weapon, allowing a mounted warrior length to spear and batter down at enemies, and a sword was secondary, as it had a shorter length, and would be used if a mounted warrior was surrounded by infantry or in battle against another knight. Throughout the medieval period, horses sometimes were removed from the fight all together due to unfavorable land, and kept in reserve to either help the army flee or to chase down the fleeing enemy.

Somewhat realistically for facing an infantry, the Rohirrim here are wielding lances, which are a powerful tool of any charge. Unrealistically, they are instead using their horses as orc plows, which is… a choice. A charge is the cavalry’s best weapon, combining the horses’ speed, power, and training to create a wall of death and hooves. A good charge can split an infantry line, disrupt command signals, and even send the poorly-trained soldiers into a panic. A bad charge can end with the knights surrounded and pulled from their saddles to be stabbed and stomped into the ground. Such was medieval warfare.

[theferal-possum]

hey so nobody knows this blog but i got out of control while telling my friend about a writing a prompt i thought of and so now im giving it to you fire emoji (below the clip)

au where lance had his schoolbag for some reason (he doesnt know why he grabbed it, he likes to think it was the universe letting him have things from home to remind him that yes, he will make it back) and as they reach the edge of the solar system, his bag starts to ring, his familiar ringtone playing throughout the lion.

he's not quite sure why he decided to go on a hunt to find a charger to get it's battery up, maybe fate playing with the strings a bit to get it to happen, he's not sure.

it's what the paladins have deemed as "night-time," around 9pm back on earth. he was nearly asleep but is now clambering for his bag, worn from the years he's spent using it in space. he rips the phone from it, staring in disbelief that he was able to get a signal from all the way out here.

the words are clear on his screen, though his eyes are blurring them, tears threatening to fall.

MAMÁ

his hands are shaky as he clicks the accept button. the heart threatening to beat out of his chest the only thing assuring him that it isnt a dream.

it's quiet for a moment, before his mother's quiet words ring through his ears.

"..mijo?"

she sounds as if she's aged 10 years in only 5, but her voice was still heavy with that slight spanish accent, worn from years of english, that used to scold him and tell lance how much she loves him. but it's everything he's missed. and he can't helps the way his voice breaks when he says,

"mamá. oh mamá we're coming home."

----

lance doesn't know why, after the call with his mother ends, he calls keith. sure they're friends now but he hasn't been sure if theyre that close yet.

but he does anyways.

it only rings for a second, the image of keith appearing on his screen. pajamas on, and kosmo laying their head in his lap, with his comm pad held lazily in one hand. the screen lit up with one of the crosswords allura had given them to help with their altean.

"hey man, what's up? you alright? you look like you've been crying."

he leans forward in the chair, much to kosmos dislike, his eyes squinting and brow furrowed in concern.

lance suddenly feels concious of how he looks, eyes red and puffy, but just wipes at his eyes, looking at the side of his controls rather than the screen.

"yeah, it's just uh. i got a call from my mom, from my old phone. and i just, i don't know."

keith sits up fully in his seat, although knocking kosmo's head off fully, and clicks his comm pad off and setting it onto the floor.

"dude, really?! i'm surprised you got signal all the way out here. but i'm glad for you! how was she doing?"

keith looks genuinely happy for him, not something lance often had the privilege to see.

"she's uhm."

he takes a moment to steel himself. taking a deep breath as he reminds himself that he won't have to talk about only memories of her the next day. it won't hurt to talk about her.

"she's doing good, she was uh. really happy to hear from me. says she called me every week just to see if i would maybe pick up."

and lance's heart can't help but break, as he thinks about his mamá, face creased with worry, sat with her phone in hand, hoping her son would pick up. hoping that he would come back. that he would come home.

"she uh, only starting calling once or twice per month after the first year, so i guess i got lucky. it was really nice to hear her voice again. i almost forgot."

(his face falls, as he thinks of the countless nights that he'd try. try to hard to remember what she sounded like. how she rolled her r's, how she sounded as she yelled at him to do his chores faster, how she said i love you. he could never get it just right.)

"it's funny honestly, i used to hope for the day that i wouldn't have to hear it as much. i'd mock her voice from behind my door after an argument. but now i can't even imagine that. i guess, you don't know how much you'd miss something until you lose it.

and i know it seems silly to miss her this much considering we were gone only 2 years. but for her it was five. and at some points i wasn't–"

his voice begins to crack, his hand gripping the edge of his seat so hard that his fingers were white. the tears in his eyes threatening to fall.

"–i wasn't sure if i'd ever see her again. if i'd be able to tell her that i was coming home."

lance gives a watery laugh, rubbing his hand on the back of his head as he realises that he just dumped that all on keith.

“sorry that was, kind of a ramble.”

he finally looks back up at the screen, tears pricking the back of his eyes as he tries not to cry again. keith is staring at seemingly nothing just behind the screen, face drawn up in an expression lance can't decipher. thoughtfulness? he's not quite sure. but he doesn't have time to figure it out before keith speaks again, his gaze falling down to the floor as he starts to fidget with the string on his sweatpants.

"i understand what you mean. and im not trying to make this about me but, after spending two years on a space whale, i learned theres a lot of things you don't realise you'll miss."

he looks up, his face almost determined as he looks at lance directly now.

"but hey, you'll get to see her tomorrow, you won't have to miss her for much longer."

lance nods, smiling as a warmth spreading through his chest. he feels a renewed hope for the next day. he was going to go home.

(little note but the idea that theres a big group that surrounds the lions after they land, which the paladins get lost in immediately

and so lance is desperately searching through the crowd trying to find his family, before seeing keith waving and pointing almost frantically, but a smile on his face.

and as the crowd moves his mamá comes into view, standing next to keith

she calls out to lance, and he immediately runs over, engulfing her in a hug that lasts, definitely more than 20 seconds, and once he pulls away she starts tearfully rambling about how much she missed him, how she always knew in her heart that he'd come back, etc. etc.

but after a moment wipes the tears from her eyes and cheerfully exclaims that she was struggling to find him before keith had helped her, saying how nice he is, mother stuff yk

and keith is looking away blushing slightly from the compliments, and lance just looks at him and thanks him with such a genuine tone that keith cant help but smile fondly at him)

[matrim-cauthons-hat]

here's a thought: a mech sized zweihander. you're a PBI (Poor Bloody Infantre) hunkered down in you dugout when mech reinforcements finally arive, only to see a charger hoofing it at full tilt towards the allied lance, armed with a sword as tall as itself, and run through a heavy mech, and then cleave a meduim in half the the waist

[a-world-of-whimsy-5]

Proper Contest

Paring: Varda & Manwë

Others: Ilinsor

AU: Medieval AU

Themes: Soft

Warnings: Mild violence (blink and you might miss it)

Wordcount: 700+words

Summary: Manwë rides against Varda during an impromptu jousting session

This is for you @cilil I hope you like it!

Manwë settled himself in his saddle. “This is a true contest, yes?”

Ilinsor, his varlet, brought forth his lance. It was fashioned for tourneys, with a blunted five-pointed coronal resting at the tip. He presented it to the prince and said, “It is a true contest, your grace, as was agreed upon. And the lady is most eager to get on with it.”

"I am well," Manwë gasped in relief when the helm was removed. He could breathe easier again. "I just need a moment to gather myself."

The prince couched the proffered weapon and lifted his gaze. Varda sat atop her gray charger at the far end of the lists, a regal vision in silver and blue. Her armor, made especially for her, was a visible testament to the wealth and status of her noble house. Gauntlets, helm, and plate enameled in the colors of House Starfield had roses and twisting vines of silver filigree embellishing them. A heavy azure cloak sewn from several yards of velvet fell down her back. It was richly worked also, with roses picked out in silver thread and brilliant blue sapphires.

“Are you ready, your grace?” She cried and pulled down the visor.

“As ready as I will be, my lady!” Manwë returned, squirming in his saddle. In truth, his armor was wholly new to him, a gift from his lord father. Dark armor and a dark helm shielded him, and an emerald pin fashioned in the shape of the sigil of the Royal House of Ilúvatar secured a jet cloak around his shoulders. And it felt stifling against his person, like a steel cage he could not escape from easily. Varda, on the other hand, wore hers like a second skin.

“Very well then, your grace!” Varda looked at a herald standing nearby. He held a white flag aloft in his hand. “We are ready to begin.”

The herald dropped the flag and made haste to run out of the way. Manwë urged his horse into a gallop, his lance level at the rider hurtling down the field toward him. The sensations of it all—the cold wind in his hair, the horse snorting beneath him as it tore up the rain softened-earth with its hooves, and the heavy weapon in his arm—were equally exhilarating and terrifying. He had never partaken in a proper joust before; Varda had partaken in many. It showed in the way she sat in the saddle and how skillfully she cradled her lance under her arm. When she neared and the appointed moment drew close, the prince remembered his weapons master’s words and lifted his chin at the last moment, to better protect his eyes.

It was poorly timed in the end, for when Manwë looked away, his grip loosened, and his lance glanced to the right. Varda, however, kept true to her mark, her lance striking the prince square in the chest. It cracked and splintered into a hundred little pieces, and the force of the blow was powerful enough to knock the prince out of his saddle and send him flying into the air. He grunted in pain when he landed on the flat of his back.

“Your grace!” Ilinsor raced toward him, his dark walnut eyes full of concern and worry. He fell to his knees beside the prince and loosened the clasp of his helm. “Your grace! Are you well? Should I fetch a physician?”

"My pardons, my prince." Varda rode up to him and reined her horse to a stop. She dismounted in one swift move. "I struck you too hard."

"This is not your fault," the prince said. He smiled and sat up, still winded from being thrown off his saddle and grateful that the tourney field was nigh empty; he did not care for the notion of other knights witnessing a son of the king being bested so easily. "I asked for a proper contest, and I thank you for honoring it. It is plain I need to spend more time in the saddle. And now I must ask you to join me for a cup of wine. There is much I wish to ask from you."

Varda smiled and extended her hand. When the prince grasped it, she helped him to his feet. "I will be honored to join you, your grace."

tags: @asianbutnotjapanese