#Lab Rats: Twisted AU

[recreationalfanfics]

Twisted Wonderland x Lab Rats Crossover HCs

The world's first bionic superhumans.

They're stronger than us. Faster. Smarter.

The next generation of the human race is-

STUCK IN TWISTED WONDERLAND?!

Because I'm hyperfixtaited and love making crossovers, I've decided to make a crossover where YOU can choose which Davenport sibling you want to be and what dorm you'd be sorted in and what your life would be like as a bionic human in Twisted Wonderland. The reader will be using gender neutral pronouns but if I overlooked some please let me know!

Feel free to send in asks or questions about this AU!

Before We Get Started:

- Ace and Deuce are still your very first besties and are the ones who meet you first.

- Grim is your precious kitty and still calls you his bionic henchuman and definetly uses you to get out of situations he got himself stuck in.

- I'm sorry but Crowley is so Donald Davenport coded so you're not as surprised or annoyed by his narcissistic tendencies.

- You've been here at NRC for a while, as a result, Ignihyde managed to build you a bionic recharge chamber in Ramshackle.

- I haven't finished book 7 yet so pls keep that in mind.

- I'm rewatching the show currently but I'm not following any specific timeline.

Adam Davenport! Reader:

- The thembo of your siblings and now, of NRC.

- Okay, but imagine that you see your little brother, Leo, in Ace and Deuce. Ace obviously reminding you of Leo's more mischievous and clever side and Deuce reminding you of his more well-natured and clumsy side. As for Grim, HE'S LIKE THE PET YOU NEVER GOT TO HAVE.

- The fact that you're living at a school is your worst nightmare though. Trien and Crewel have you absolutely stressed😭 During studying sessions, Ace and Deuce get somewhat annoyed with you but they do know it doesn't come easy so they help you study by explaining it to you the same way they would to a five year old.

- But, thanks to your awesome durability that you keep hidden from teachers, if you guys ever feel unprepared for a test then you just casually fall down the stairs and Ace and Deuce act all worried for your safety and BRAVELY volunteer to skip class. However, you kept using it as an excuse a bit too often much to Ace and Deuce's dismay so they eventually caught on.

- You are the BANE of Riddle's existence, you have no regard for the rules AND you aren't able to be collared. Much like how it is with Floyd, Riddle openly despises you but unlike Floyd, YOU DON'T CATCH ON THAT HE DISLIKES YOU. Which makes him feel guilty and puts him at an impasse.

- Since Riddle's collars only work on people with magic, imagine that you can just rip it off with your bionic strength. When Riddle first used his unique magic on you, Ace and Deuce were in ramshackle when you walked in with one of the collars on.

Ace: "OH NO, RIDDLE PUT A COLLAR ON Y/N!"

You: "Haha, guys, check out this dope friendship necklace Riddle gave me! I'm gonna take it off and put it somewhere safe! AW, MAN, I BROKE IT....I'm gonna ask me to make another one!" and then they have to stop you.

- LOWKEY, SAVANNACLAW IS THE PERFECT PLACE FOR YOU. The other guys love having you there but also, they will be nicer to other students because you are still a hero after all. When you see them messing with other people, you lift them up and put them in air jail.

- You're like Leona's little court jester ngl. While you're not a complete idiot, you're pretty foolish and it can get entertaining for a while but when you get a bit too destructive, he will have Ruggie escort you out. He likes to take naps on you, though, especially because if someone disturbs him then you shoot a warning shot with your laser vision and are all: "SHHH! The kitty is sleeping!" But if Grim chooses to kick Leona out of your lap, you 100% obey your favorite kitty.

- Jack is your one-sided rival. He wants to be just as strong as you and demands to train with you. He even tries to copy your work out regimen and kinda stalks you to try and learn how you're so strong but then he sees you casually lifting up the sports shack for Vargas.

- BRO, AZUL WOULD 100% TRY TO PUT YOU IN A CONTRACT. A strong bionic superhuman with laser vision AND the ability to breathe underwater whose incredibly stupid and naive? It's like you were sent to him by the Seven themselves. So Ace, Deuce, and Grim and your other friends have to steer you away from him.

- Azul: "Y/N?~ Would you be interested in a deal!"

- You: "Yeah, sure! Just let me finish my applesauce."

- Ace: "Y/N, NO! You're not allowed to make deals with Azul, he's a shady businessman, remember?"

- You: "Ooooh, okay. Sorry then, but I can't."

- Floyd: "Silly Tiger Shrimp, it's opposite day!~"

- You: "Okay! Sorry guys, I have to make a deal with Azul- Wait, I mean NOT make a deal with Azul! Hehe~"

- KALIM IS IN AWE OF YOUR STRENGTH, Jamil thinks that you're a clumsy and reckless fool and he doesn't trust you around Kalim. Like, Kalim was talking about how Jamil is so awesome at basketball and in awe of how high he jumps so you're all: "Haha, wanna see what it's like?" and Jamil walked in on you THROWING THE HEIR OF THE AL-ASIM FAMILY AT A HOOP.

- Jamil: "KALIM, ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?"

- Kalim, on the ground: "THAT WAS AWESOME!"

- You're not allowed in Scarabia without supervision, nevermind that you have to be a certain distance away from Kalim because JAMIL REFUSES TO LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN.

- YOU ARE EPEL'S HERO, HE TOTALLY LOVES HEARING YOUR STORIES ABOUT SAVING YOUR WORLD AND THINKS YOU'RE AMAZING. Like, Vil is forcing you to sit down for a makeover and you're all: "Oh, this is like the time I had to sit still to get ready for my interview after stopping an asteroid from hitting the planet." and Epel is all: "AWESOME!" and Rook is next to you and is all: "Tell us more about this enchanting tale, mon cœur brave!~" and Vil is trying to stop you from eating make up.

- I'm sorry but Epel would so try to convince you to throw Plasma Grenades at Vil when he's overblotted😭 and he's all: "What!? I'm sure it won't hurt him that bad!"

- During book 6, YOU ACTUALLY DON'T THINK IDIA'S FAMILY HQ IS THAT CREEPY and you feel so nostalgic. Like, they go through the sanitation station and you're all: "Aw, this reminds me of my capsule back at my dad's lab in his basement...I miss my dad...and Bree and Leo and Tasha...and beating up Chase...AND CHASE!"

- But when you're fighting the other overblot monsters, that's when you show how much of a competent hero you are. You're protecting everyone and keeping them safe, as well as doing your best to keep the monsters away as your fellow classmates try to recharge the thunder spears.

- Idia would totally want to uncover your bionic biology to see if he could improve upon Ortho and you're just there like: "WOAH. At least take a bionic person out to dinner first before you ask to dissect them, man-" and Idia just being all flustered.

- YOU AND ORTHO being technogically advanced buddies, obviously there's huge differences between you guys but YOU AND HIM JUST HAVING SLEEPOVERS AND IT'S JUST YOUR CHARGING PODS BEING IN THE SAME ROOM. Anyways, he totally brings out the older sibling instincts with you and Idia kinda tolerates you and your thembo ways.

- MALLEUS THINKS YOU'RE SO FUNNY and he just laughs when you say something foolish but Sebek is all: "STAY AWAY FROM LORD MALLEUS, your ignorance is an insult to his majesty!" and you just kinda wanna bully him a little bit because he reminds you of Chase but in a bad way. When Silver falls asleep, you just carrying him around and stuff because he's your friend! Lillia also finds you amusing as well ngl, you're such a spirit young individual.

Chase Davenport! Reader:

- OKAY, BUT YOU LOWKEY PANICKED AT THE REALIZATION OF NOT BEING IN YOUR WORLD. Not only because you're in a strange and totally unfamiliar world but BECAUSE YOU'RE NO LONGER THE SMARTEST PERSON.

- Ace and Deuce during the detention thing were just staring at you weirdly as you read and try to get as much information on the world of Twisted Wonderland as much as possible. Grim literally having to sit on all of your books or swat them out of your hands.

- Even though you respect and like rules, you think that the ones in Heartslabyul are kind of excessive but YOU STUDY THEM REGARDLESS because you will not be caught lacking. So when Ace and Deuce come to you and they're collared, you're all: "Ha, let me guess, you forgot to take your shoes and wear them around your neck today, huh? Amateurs." and they just glare at you or roll your eyes.

- Despite that, as an experienced team leader, you can somewhat influence the Adeuce doubt and Grim to listen to you and they do respect you to some degree when you're not being a know it all. GRIM WILL BRAG ABOUT HOW SMART YOU ARE and try to convince you to let him copy your work and you're all: "Grim, when you cheat, you're only cheating yourself." and he just hisses at you and you roll your eyes.

- Tbh, I love the idea that when Riddle went through his Overblot, you were using your bionic supervision to analyze the threat but then Ace punched Riddle and you're all: "Oh, okay, that works too, I guess."

- While Adam! (Y/n) would fight the Overblots, your concern would lie in protecting your fellow students so you tell Adeuce and Grim and any other students to come close to you and you activate your force field to protect you and them.

- During the whole Savannaclaw thing, you were the first to figure out about Leona's whole plan but you were quickly humbled when he Overblotted. When he's done, you and him bond about being younger brothers with older brothers. TO BE FAIR, Leona admits that you have it worse because Falena doesn't constantly throw him around.

- Also, if you have a sensory overload because of your enhanced senses; I can totally see Savannaclaw kind of having a room to calm down because, like, they're Beatmen. You don't necessarily like Savannaclaw but they do think your martial arts skills are cool.

- DURING THE EVENTS OF BOOK 3 IS WHEN YOU ACTIVATE YOUR COMMANDO MODE and everyone meets your alter ego, Spike. Like, Floyd is threatening you and your commando app takes over and you and him duke it out. When you finally take control, Floyd is all: "WE HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN, DWARF SHRIMPY! THAT WAS SO FUN!" and you're confused while Jade is all: "Huh, who knew Bionic Humans can be so interesting and complex!"

- But yeah, while Azul took you as a fool, you do a very good job at finding loopholes and mistakes in his contracts to help people out of them. Which he would find respectable but sadly, that's bad for business. So much like he does with Jamil, HE WOULD SO WANT YOU TO JOIN OCTAVINELLE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. IMAGINE THE PROFITS.

- During Schemer of the Scalding Sands, you totally agree with Jamil and sympathize with the fact that he never got to have a normal childhood. HOWEVER, he is still doing bad things and as a hero, you can't excuse that behavior. I can see you guys being good friends and bonding with each other.

- ALSO, Chase was always awkward girls so imagine that you're awkward around pretty people in general. Like, you meet Vil and your brain short circuits and you're all: "H-Hi!" or you'll be explaining things and Vil is all: "Davenport, I need you to help me with something!" and you just turn around to face him and you're all: "...Y-Yeah, sure! Okay! Wow, your eyes are so pretty-" You also totally agree with his perfectionism and not just because he's the most jaw dropping person you've ever seen but also because you're a perfectionist yourself.

- YOU'D BE IN THE SCIENCE CLUB WITH ROOK AND TREY. Mostly to learn about the amazing science of this new world but also, you show off a bit of science of your own. Trey is super impressed by your knowledge of chemistry and Rook is their like: "Oh, how does one become as smart and charming as you?" and then you just giggle and blush and you're all: "Haha. You don't mean that~...Do you?"

- LIKE THE REGULAR CHASE, YOU'RE ALSO A HUGE CUTIE. You would totally love to watch cartoons and play pranks on people except they're completely harmless pranks. Jade will do something to annoy you and you'll be all:

Y/n: "Jade might think he got the best of me but little does he know, I'll get the last laugh!"

Ace: "I've never seen this side of you before, Y/n. What'd you do?"

Y/n: "I switched his No. 2 pencil with a number 1 pencil. LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE SMUDGED NOTES, LEECH. CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE!?"

- And all of the first years just look at you and leave you hanging and you frown and you're all: "See, its perfect because No.1 pencils are higher in graphite and much softer, so they're more prone to smudging-" and they're all: "No, (Y/n), we get it. It's still stupid."

- I can see you hanging out in the Ignihyde dorm, mostly because they have all the resources needed to try and figure out how to get back home but also, I can imagine that after a few months of coaxing and bonding with Idia, you guys would become friends due to your love for your siblings and your awkward ways.

- I CAN TOTALLY IMAGINE YOU AND HIM GAMING WITH LILIA, aka, Muscle Red. I can also see that Ortho would adore seeing you and his brother getting along, until you both sneak out of gym together to go and play your video games.

- I love the idea that you would love to listen to Malleus talk about gargoyles and you'd look up things with your supercomputer brain. You also would love your guys' walks because he can talk to you and inform you more about the magic in your world and you can talk to him about the science in yours. Your mind is still getting used to the idea of magic but Malleus would totally love to see your views on everything.

- SEBEK THINKS YOU'RE AN INSOLENT HUMAN, how dare you think your stupid human brain can match to that of the Great Malleus!? But he does admire your dedication to knowledge. SILVER SOMETIMES DOZES OFF WHEN YOU TALK but you're used to it and sigh but Silver tries to assure you it wasn't because he was bored.

Bree Davenport! Reader:

- Much like the ICON that is Bree Davenport, you will 100% sass back Crowley. He has to ask advice from Mozus on how to approach you since he's handled sassy teenagers before but that knowledge is sadly limited when it comes to BIONIC sassy teenagers.

- Not to mention that you're very maliciously compliant with him. When he asks you to run an errand and tries to imply he'll turn off Ramshackle's electricity if you don't, you just roll your eyes and go do it. But NOT BEFORE YOU TRASH HIS OFFICE WITH YOUR SPEED.

- When it comes to Grim, you totally decorate him with cute little bows and pamper him but you guys also exchange witty comebacks and retorts once in a while.

- ACE WOULD LOVE TO PIGGY BACK RIDE YOU SO HE'S NOT LATE TO CLASSES. At first, you did it out of the kindness of your heart but when he kept trying to trick you or guilt trip you, you ended up just dropping him off on the opposite side of campus from his classes. He was made but Deuce defended you.

- You're a little bit of a romantic as well, sometimes bordering on delulu but to be fair; you were raised in a basement and occasionally allowed to watch high school musical dramas. And being sent to a magical all-boys college is a dream come true!

- Until you have to deal with overblots and the very real possibility of innocent people dying, then you're just reminded that this world isn't SUPER different from your other world but being a hero is a never-ending job.

- You don't really get along with Riddle but you and Cater would be such good friends, you carry him to take him to places he said would be so "magicamable" and you turn invisible and listen in on all of the juicy gossip so you can report back to him and you two can giggle about it.

- You would 100% be able to tame the rowdy Savnnaclaw students because size doesn't scare you. You would be a little bit of a simp for Leona because he fits your type and he gets kind of annoyed by it but when you go back to your usual sassy and fiery self, he does kind of think twice.

- As for Jack, he admires your speed and likes joining you on runs. You happily let him know whether he's getting faster than you or not, even if he knows it's not achievable to be as fast as you, you do a good job of helping him monitor his progress. He reminds you of a smarter more competent version of Adam!

- You and Ruggie would team up to sometimes do small jobs, only if he handles the gross stuff just because you personally can't, but delivery jobs are up your alley because of your speed and you guys split the profits.

- Speaking of profits, AZUL WOULD LOVE TO TRAP YOU IN A CONTRACT TO WORK AT THE MONSTRO LOUNGE. When you briefly took Ace and Deuce's place to work, you were a one person serving machine. Getting impatient when dishes weren't done fast enough, you ran in the kitchen and took care of everything yourself.

- However, he now tries to make it not so obvious because the last time he did, you created an tornado with your super speed and shot him and his creepy twins from it. Floyd thought it was the coolest thing ever and begs you to do it again, while Jade pretended to sniffle as he mourned about how, "rude bionic humans are to poor eels like them."

- As for Scarabia, after Jamil sends you guys into the dessert and they have to make an oasis, you're just there like, "So...I'm going to just speed my way back to the dorm. Meet you guys there!" and then you're off.

- I DO THINK YOU'D BE IN THE POP MUSIC CLUB WITH KALIM, CATER, AND LILLIA. So after the events of book 4, you do kinda make sure Kalim doesn't put so much on Jamil. Such as throwing a party and you help him with the decorations instead so Jamil can have a break or, at the very least, you handle the clean up yourself.

- Also, you're not as surprised as everyone else is when Kalim decides to forgive him, purely because your uncle/father was forgiven from killing you and your family multiple times.

- OKAY BUT YOU WOULD SO BE IN POMEFIORE, after all, you've longed to be an ideal sophisticated and classy version of yourself. However, it simply isn't possibly when you're around your brothers who love to mess with you and tease you. So Vil is your go-to when it comes to makeovers and bonding. I'M SORRY BUT BOTH OF YOU BONDING OVER BEING NEPO BABIES *but well deserving nepo-babies* and it's nice to finally have make up without someone EATING IT OR DOING SOME WEIRD SCIENCE THING WITH IT.

- Rook, per usual, will be a freak as always and try to hunt and stalk you like he does with Leona and the other non humans. According to him, you are "the most elegant of prey. With the eyes of a soulful bird and the speed of a gazelle." and you'll use your speed to run away from him but he would totally have a list of places that you would run too and meet you there.

- Like Bree, you always wanted to have a friend that was a girl so you totally mistook Epel as one and that did not bode well for the both of you. Still, you make it up to him and tell him about how being strong and manly isn't really all it's cracked up to be.

- When it comes to Idia, he gets so nervous and flustered around you because you're so...peppy. Whenever you speed into his lab, he gets all nervous and flustered. Sometimes you tease him about being a nerd but you mean it in a loving way. YOU ADORE ORTHO THOUGH. He's such a cute little guy♡

- When fighting overblots, I can imagine you use your super speed to evacuate everyone and use your invisibility to jump out and surprise them at the last second.

[loving-barnes]

LOGAN HOWLETT - NEED

A/N: CHAPTER TEN is here! I'm sorry it took me so long. I just had a lot on my plate. Enjoy!

Pairing: Logan Howlett x mutant female reader

Warning: I have decided to not give any warnings. Please remember this story is 18+.

Summary: Things move forward between Logan and Y/N.

Please, do not read if you are under 18. This story is suitable for mature audience. MINORS DNI!

Words: 4300+

Important note: Again, Logan is a tall MF, because they fucked up in the movies. Also, Hugh Jackman!Wolverine. This is set in AU.

A TOUCH OF HOPE MASTERLIST | Chapter Nine

LOGAN HOWLETT - NEED

Jean stood next to a hospital bed, looking down at unconscious Y/N. She had a chart in her hands, checking the data she collected the past three days. Three days - that’s how long Y/N was out of the present. 

Logan didn’t want to leave her side once they removed the collar from his neck. The wounds immediately healed, and he became a new person. Jean managed to send Logan away. He insisted on staying by Y/N’s side until she’d open her eyes. Luckily, Jean persuaded him quickly. Even Storm wanted to remain by her side all the time. The friendship between her and Y/N blossomed fast. 

When Storm arrived with the rest of the team, she was horrified when she found Logan wounded and weak next to an unconscious body. There was a slight fear Logan wouldn’t be able to heal from the wounds. When Hank and Jean freed Logan from the collar, the healing happened quickly. No one would tell he was fighting for his life hours ago. 

Jean enjoyed the silence in the medical room. The only thing she heard was the beeping sound of a heart monitor. 

The door to the room opened. Charles wheeled in, followed by Hank, Logan and Storm. Before anyone could ask anything, Jean gave them an answer. “No change. She’s stable, well, but still out.” 

Charles was the first to approach the bed. His hands caressed Y/N’s exposed forearm, where he kept staring at the lightly radiating skin. It was fascinating. Charles didn’t have an exact answer for that. All they knew was that it had to do something with her mutation. 

“You said it happened before?” The question was for Logan. 

“Yes. It was the day we saved the boy and came back here. I noticed her eyes glowing.” 

Charles thought about it. “Mutations can evolve. It is one thing you get to master your powers and manipulate them. In some cases, more abilities can be developed. I think this could be the case. Y/N’s mutation is evolving. I believe ner powers will rise to the surface very soon.” 

“So, what? You will test her like a lab rat,” Logan scoffed, not fond of the idea. “Hadn’t she had enough of that?” 

“I’m not saying we will test on her. That will only happen if she’d want to,” Charles said. “We have to wait until she awakes. It can be minutes, hours, or even days. Her mind is locked. I can’t get inside, no matter how much I try.”

“You said she created a force field around the whole school,” Storm looked at Logan. “Her energy got drained to the last bit. No wonder she’s been out for three days now. She’s never done anything like that before. She could have died.” 

Jean approached the woman on the bed. She grabbed her hand, scanning the skin. “Why has this been happening for three days?” 

“I forgot to mention one thing,” Logan cleared his throat. He crossed his arms over his chest. It got everyone’s attention. “The leader of the Trask unit that came to school was Y/N’s mother.” 

“What?” they all said in unison. All eyes were on him.

Logan nodded. “After the accident with Y/N’s sister, her mother joined Trask Industries. She wanted revenge for her lost child. Turns out, she became a respected, high-ranked person there.” 

There was silence. The information about Y/N’s mother was shocking. “That is a plot twist,” Storm commented. 

“Y/N didn’t know about it, just to clarify,” Logan added strictly. 

“She had her eyes on me since I escaped the lab in Salem,” said Y/N’s voice from the bed. 

They all turned to the voice. Logan was the first by her side, staring at her face. Her eyes were open a crack. She was getting used to the light. Y/N blinked a few times before her eyes moved to look at Logan. He saw that her irises were glowing like the colours of the force field - silvery and blue. When she blinked again a few times, they turned back to normal. 

“JJ was a trap,” she continued. “It gave away my location.  Because of me, the children were in danger. Everything that happened was my fault.” 

“No,” Storm walked to her from the other side. She grabbed Y/N’s hand. “You couldn’t know that would happen. All you wanted was to save the boy. And you did it. How could you know it was a trap? Also, you protected the whole school. The building is standing still because of you.” 

A yawn escaped Y/N’s lips. “Is everyone okay?” 

“Yes,” Jean nodded. She had a gentle smile on her face. “They are all back in school. Colossus took them away just in time. The building is standing, and it is all thanks to you.” 

“Good,” Y/N closed her eyes. “I’m glad no one got hurt.” 

Charles opened his mouth, ready to ask a question. Quickly, he shut it, dismissing what he wanted to ask. “We’ll talk later. Rest,” he suggested. 

As they walked away, Y/N opened her eyes and found Logan staring at her. His face was filled with worry. She winked at him. It was a sign to stay. Everyone left while he remained by her bed. The door closed. They were officially alone. 

Slowly, she pushed her body up until she was sitting. She stretched her arms. Logan got closer to the bed. Her eyes traced over his body. She realised he wore a simple black T-shirt that perfectly showed his muscles. Her mouth opened, almost dropping down on her lap. Damn. There was an urge to touch his stomach, to feel the abs underneath her touch. She clenched the bedsheet tightly.

“How are you feeling?” Logan’s voice brought her back to reality. 

Y/N gulped. “Tired,” she replied. “It might be because I’ve been out for… how long?” 

“Three days.” 

“That long? Shit,” she shook her head in disbelief. Y/N moved her body. She sat at the edge of the bed, legs hanging in the air. “How are you? What did I miss?” 

“A stamp of approval from Scott,” Logan laughed when he said that. “And I’m fine.”

Y/N’s mouth dropped. “Wow, I was expecting everything but that. Wait ‘til he hears about my mother being a part of Trask Industries. He will hate my guts once again. If not more.” 

Logan’s eyes took in every detail of Y/N’s face. She had an amused smile on her face. Her eyes were shining with her natural colour. Her hair was all messy and tangled. And yet, she was the perfect thing he ever saw. Logan couldn’t believe he was able to kiss her that night. That dammed night when they were attacked. 

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. Y/N noticed it. She took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself for what was about to come. She could feel it in the air. It got thicker and heavier with lust and something beautiful. She didn’t have the time to whisper his name. Logan’s lips found hers in a feverish kiss. One hand grabbed her by the neck to pull her body as close to his as possible. He had to lean down to reach for her lips. 

Y/N’s left hand was feeling the hard abs on his abdomen. The other hand pressed against his cheek. She could feel the beard scratching the skin of her palm. How come he was so hot with that mutton chops beard? He could pull it off.

Logan broke the kiss. He sighed, annoyed. Y/N raised a brow. It was a silent question. She wanted to know why he stopped. “You’ll have a visitor in a few seconds.” 

“Ah,” she chuckled. Y/N found it amusing. Logan was visibly unhappy someone had to interrupt them again. On the other hand, she admired his advanced hearing. No one needed to know something was happening between them. It was too soon to show. The first thing they needed to do was to talk about it and define what this thing was between them.

As he stepped back, the door opened. Kitty walked in with Jerome by her side. Y/N’s eyes lit up when she saw him. “Hi, JJ!” A smile spread across her face. 

“He wanted to see you,” Kitty said when they approached the bed. “He heard us when we talked in the hallway. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course it is,” Y/N nodded quickly. Her eyes trailed to Logan. He had his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at the child. Y/N wanted to laugh at him. It was funny he was jealous of a kid. When JJ sat on the bed next to her, she patted his head.

“Are you feeling okay?” JJ asked her. “I’ve heard what happened. Everyone knows what happened. You saved the school!” 

Y/N blinked a few times. She didn’t know what to say to that. “Yeah, she did,” Logan stepped in. “She got to warn us before the attackers came.”

“That’s badass,” Jerome said excitedly. “How did you know about it? Do you have a new mutation? My friends asked about you,” he kept talking fast. “You are like a celebrity among the students. You are a hero,” he explained. 

“Oh,” Y/N was not pleased with that information. She didn’t want to be a hero. “There are better heroes out there. Look at Professor Xavier or Storm, Kitty… they are the real heroes here. I just did what was necessary.”

“I wish I could see it,” JJ sighed, upset that he wasn’t there. Colossus took him and the children to a safe place before the soldiers marched in. 

“I’m glad you managed to get to a safe place with Colossus,” Y/N dishevelled his hair. 

“How are you feeling, Y/N?” Kitty used the silence to ask her. 

“Tired,” she gave her the same answer as she had said to Logan. “Thanks for bringing JJ here. At least I know he’s well,” and she pressed a gentle kiss on top of the boy’s head. He slowly became the little brother she never had.

When Kitty took Jerome away, Logan was relieved to be alone with Y/N again. This time, he sat next to her on the bed. His hand found the back of her neck. He started to massage it. Y/N’s eyes closed. She almost purred. A moan escaped her mouth. Logan’s eyes widened at that sound, and he grinned. “That was a pretty sound. You should make more.” 

She glared at him. “Dirty mind.” 

When he stopped, he leaned closer. “Let me take you back to your room,” he whispered. He kept breathing in Y/N’s scent.

“Again, dirty mind,” she chuckled. 

Logan pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. “You are the one with a dirty mind. I didn’t mean it like that, princess.” 

Y/N watched as he got closer, wanting to kiss her again. She pressed an index finger to his lips, stopping him. “I need to do one more thing before we leave,” she said, staring into his eyes. She reached for one of his hands and brushed her fingers against his knuckles. “Scratch me with your claws.” 

Logan raised his brows, pushing away a little. “What?” 

“Please, do it,” she begged. “I need you to scratch me with them. You’ll see why.” 

“No,” he shook his head and pulled away from her. His eyes focused on the floor, frowning. “I’m not going to hurt you.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes. “You will not hurt me, I promise you. I need to see something. Either you will scratch me with a claw, or I will find a knife and do it myself.” 

He growled like a wolf. When Logan clenched a fist, one of the claws slowly came out under his skin. He then turned his body to her. Y/N prepared her forearm. Before he could change his mind, Logan cut into her skin, making her bleed. A second later, the wound lit up like the colours of her forcefield and started closing in front of their eyes. 

“Shit,” she mumbled. “I didn’t know I could do that. That’s new.” 

“Damn,” Logan sighed. “That explains why we didn’t find any bullet wounds on your body. There was blood but no gashes. You can heal.” 

“I can heal,” she nodded. Y/N buried her face into her hands, sighing loudly. “Holy shit, I can heal. That might explain why I could remain alive all these years in the labs. I know it happened when they attacked us. I remember being shot. I remember the pain. When I looked a few seconds later, the wound wasn’t there. I just needed to be sure that it wasn’t a hallucination.” 

Logan grabbed one of her hands and pressed a soft kiss on top of it. It was a sweet, loving gesture. “Come on, princess. I’ll take you to your room.” 

“Aw, such a gentleman,” she patted his beard-covered cheek playfully. “I should get wounded more. You’ll treat me like a princess every second of my life,” she teased. 

“Very funny.”

They left the lowest level underground. Logan kept her close to him but didn’t touch her. They kept some distance between them in case someone decided to appear out of nowhere. He kept an eye on her in case she would show any sign of weakness. 

The atmosphere changed when they arrived at the main level. The students were walking around the hallways, chatting. None of them were holding books. It meant only one thing - it was already afternoon. 

One by one, they turned their attention to Logan and Y/N. When they found their teachers walking down the hallway, they stopped talking. The attention was now on them. Fingers were being pointed at them, as well as whispers spreading around. 

“That’s her,” someone said. 

“She saved the school.” 

“They protected us.” 

“She teaches English.” 

“I want to be as cool as them.” 

“Miss Y/L/N can make forcefields.”

All Y/N could hear in her mind was freak, weirdo, murderer. You killed her! You killed my baby!

Y/N closed her eyes and stopped walking. The attention was unpleasant. Logan noticed her face. His hand found Y/N’s lower back. It was a gentle gesture. He pressed his fingers lightly against her. Logan kept watching her face. He could see how her breath quickened. “You okay?” he asked. 

Y/N gave him one gentle nod. When she opened her eyes, they started to travel around the place. They captured every single child that was staring at her. Their looks were different. The thoughts that were screaming inside her mind eased. They were barely whispers. Before, she’d feel like the biggest weirdo on the entire planet. Now, the feeling was different. She didn’t want to run away from it. Y/N was aware that she and Logan protected the whole school. 

Y/N continued to walk through the crowd of students. She headed to the stairs with Logan close behind. No one asked a thing. No one wanted to talk to her. Y/N appreciated it all. 

“The kids look up to ya,” Logan said when they climbed all the stairs to the third floor. They stopped in front of Y/N’s room. “They always do when someone becomes a hero,” he made a face. 

“I’m no hero,” she shrugged. It made her feel uncomfortable. “I only did what was necessary.” 

Logan sighed. “You sure you’ll be fine?” 

She leaned against the closed door and smiled. “Yes, I will. Thank you, my knight in shining armour. I shall give you flowers for your bravery,” she bowed to him a little, laughing. 

“Text me if you need me, and I’ll come to you, princess,” he winked at her.

Y/N walked into her room. She closed the door, sighing. Logan left without a kiss. Why was she so upset about it? Rolling her eyes, Y/N walked to the bathroom. She needed to shower the last three unconscious days and a fight where she came face to face with her mother.

. . .

It was ten in the evening. The whole school was silent. The students were in their rooms, already asleep. During school days, they all had to be in their dorms before nine. 

Y/N was inside her room the whole time. After a long hot shower, she changed into fresh clothes. She then fell asleep on her bed for a few hours. Her body was tired. It called for a nap. Now, she was sitting on the bed, finishing a French braid. Y/N could smell the coconut shampoo on her body. Her mind kept wandering to Logan, her mother and back. 

How is it that when something nice was happening, a shit from the past had to appear at the exact moment? Shaking her head, she tied the end of the braid with a rubber band. 

There was a knock on the door. Before Y/N could open her mouth, the door slowly opened. Logan walked in, frowning. When he noticed her sitting on the bed, his face softened.

“What’s with the face?” she asked, grinning. 

He closed the door behind him and approached the bed. “I was worried, okay?” 

Y/N kneeled on the bed, laughing. “Aw, that is so sweet. The big bad Wolverine was worried about me.” Her eyes watched as he took a seat next to her. “I’m sorry for giving you wrinkles. I fell asleep after the shower.” 

Logan huffed, nodding. And then, in a mere second, Logan grabbed her into his arms. One held her by the waist while the other was behind her neck. Their lips connected in a sloppy, passionate kiss. At this point, Y/N wasn’t even surprised by his sudden action. All she could do was think about him - his lips, his touch. Their tongues pressed together, mouths sliding hungrily. They got lost in their passion. 

“I was worried about you,” said Logan when their lips disconnected. “I was going crazy watching you unconscious on that damn bed,” he admitted. “I’d be really pissed if something happened to you.”

Her finger gently stroked the bridge of his nose. “When I saw you with that collar, powerless, I knew I had to do anything to protect you. You became a simple mortal human being. It wasn’t nice to see you all wounded and defeated. I was worried that…”

Logan’s brows raised. “What?” he asked softly. 

“We wouldn’t be able to start whatever it is between us,” she looked away. 

Logan sat on the bed and brought her onto his lap. His hands held her by the hips, gripping them tightly. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts to his chest. “Oh, princess,” he sighed, staring into her eyes. They travelled to her lips. “Good thing we survived. We can now continue where we left off.”

Y/N felt the thrill rushing through her body. However, her face heated up. Suddenly, she was shy. Logan saw it all. One of his hands rested on her cheeks. “Don’t go shy on me now, sweetheart,” he chuckled. 

Y/N playfully rolled her eyes. “Well, the last time I had something with a guy was over five years ago,” she made a face. 

“We don’t have to…”

“But I want to,” she stopped him by pressing a finger to his lips. “I want to, Logan. I-” Her eyes scanned his green ones. There was something on her lips she wanted to say. It was too soon to confess. Y/N knew what she felt for him, but she didn’t allow herself to say it out loud. After she swallowed the truthful words, she said, “I want you.” 

The air changed in the room. With a gentle touch, Logan traced the curves of her body, feeling the tremble of excitement beneath his fingertips. As their lips met in a tender kiss, they both felt the rush of passion surge through them, melting away any lingering doubts or inhibitions. 

The first pieces of clothing were gone in mere seconds. Logan took off Y/N’s T-shirt, showing her exposed chest to his eyes. He licked his lips as his eyes observed her beautiful breasts. When Y/N took off Logan’s white tank top, her nails lightly scratched his chest, enjoying the feeling of him under her fingertips. Slowly, they undressed each other, savouring the unveiling of skin, each moment building the intensity of their connection.

Y/N expected that, at some point, Logan would become rougher and impatient. She was surprised when he took his time and didn’t rush things. His touches were gentle and loving as if she were a fragile doll that would break under his touch. 

“You smell so good, princess,” he growled. His mouth wrapped around her hardened nipple and sucked on it. He was rewarded with a moan. He sucked on it, circled it with a tongue. When he let it with a pop, Logan looked at her, grinning. “Next time, I will fuck ya like the naughty girl I know you are.” 

“Logan,” she whispered his name. 

He continued to lavish attention on her breasts. His mouth moved from one nipple to the other, alternating between bites and licks that sent shivers down her spine. He loved how she responded to his attention – it only fueled his passion further. 

The moans kept escaping Y/N’s lips after every touch, every stroke and lick. The sound of her moans and gasps filled the air, making Logan’s dick throb painfully.

He grabbed her by the waist and laid her down on the bed. He positioned himself between her legs. “What a beautiful view,” he commented, eyeing her naked upper body. 

Her hands reached for the big belt he wore. Y/N unfastened it, unbuttoned the jeans and pulled down the zipper. She realised he wasn’t wearing any underwear. Y/N’s brows raised up, and she grinned at him. She was met with his semi-hard length begging to be taken out of the jeans.“You like going commando?” 

“I was in a hurry,” he said, grinning. 

Y/N took him out, stroking him slowly from tip to base. She felt him twitch under her touch. He had a nice dick - perfect length, veiny, and he trimmed his pubic hair around his penis and balls.  She heard him moan and curse under his nose. 

“Fuck, baby girl,” his eyes rolled into the back of his head when she squeezed him harder. He stopped her movements.  Logan took her hand off his throbbing member. He brought the hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “I want to be inside of you.” 

Logan took off his jeans while his eyes remained on Y/N’s movements. He followed her hands - how they reached for the hem of her shorts. She took off the fabric with panties, and she exposed her pussy for his eyes to see. “Fuck,” he growled. 

Once they were both naked, Logan positioned himself at the entrance of her wet pussy, looking down at her face with a mix of determination and desire burning in his eyes. He ran his thumb along her clit, making her squirm. 

One last kiss before he positioned himself at her entrance and slowly pushed in. He watched Y/N’s reaction carefully, seeing the way her face contorted into a mixture of pleasure and anticipation. “Shit,” he cursed. “So tight.” 

He started to move slowly, allowing their bodies to become one. Logan didn’t want to hurt her. His eyes were locked with hers with every move he made. He wanted to take his time, to savour every moment of being inside her, feeling her surround him completely.

“Fuck,” she gasped. “Faster, Logan. Please.” 

Hearing her pleas, Logan's feral instincts kicked in, and he responded by increasing the pace of his thrusts, driving into her tight pussy with forceful strokes. He watched her breasts bounce with every snap of his hips. “You are so fucking pretty like this,” he praised her. 

Another loud moan escaped Y/N’s lips. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed him closer to her body, pressing her lips against his in a feverish kiss. It was sloppy and dirty, all tongue and teeth. One of his hands sneaked between their bodies. His thumb found her clit, and he started to toy with it. 

Her walls clenched around his length. “Ah, fuck!” she gasped. “I’m so close.” 

“Good, baby girl,” he said hoarsely. “Don’t hold up and come for me, pretty girl.” 

He heard her cry out and felt her body tense as she approached climax. Logan increased the tempo of his movements even further, driving himself into her. He watched as Y/N reached her peak. Her eyes closed, walled gripped his cock tightly as waves of pleasure ran through her body. 

Logan’s release followed a few seconds later. At the last moment, he pulled out and spilt his seed over her lower belly, grunting. “Ah, fuck, fuck,” he cursed. 

Logan’s chest heaved with each laboured breath. The scent of sex and sweat filled the air around them as they lay there, spent and satisfied. Y/N turned her head to look at him. She watched as he breathed heavily. A smile appeared on her lips. 

“Damn,” she whispered. 

He turned his head, catching her eyes. Logan grinned at her. “That’s it?” he teased. 

“I am speechless. Isn’t that enough?” Y/N winked at him. She rolled to her side, snuggling her naked body to his. Her fingers absentmindedly started to stroke his chest, brushing through some of the hairs. 

Logan managed to capture her lips in a gentle kiss. “How are you feeling?” 

Her eyes locked with his. “Happy,” she replied simply. 

“How about one more round?” he suggested.

Y/N smacked his chest playfully. “Insatiable man.” 

He grabbed her hand and led it down his body to his hard length. Y/N wrapped her fingers around his cock. “What can I say. I can’t get enough of you.” 

She giggled. “Cheezy. Fine, one more round.” 

“This time, you will ride me, pretty girl.” 

[dat-town]

baby, you and me are a twisted fantasy

Characters: marine biologist intern!Leehan & siren!female reader

Setting & genre: dark urban fantasy au, angst

Summary: Donghyun finds a captured siren in the basement of the oceanology institute he works for and falls more in love with the sea while you learn that maybe not all humans are all bad.

Warnings: birth name used, blood, needles, cut wounds, captivity, unethical experiments, mentions of unorthodox surgical procedures, bodily alterations (MC’s scales are removed), starvation, drowning, crying, ideation about killing and dying, minor character deaths, lip-to-lip contact that’s not really a kiss? (this gets pretty dark ngl sorry)

Words: 4k

Author’s note: title from aespa - hold on tight. @restlessmaknae, you wanted angst, so i deliver… with love tho! see you in a few hours! <3

Donghyun was in love with the ocean before he was in love with you.

You hated him and everything he stood for before you even met him.

Physical pain was one thing. The way you could feel your lungs collapse, the thirst for just one drop of water before you suffocate, the blood dripping down when one by one your scales were torn out, the burn in your sea-soaked skin drying up…

Being a lab rat was another. It was white coats, needles and gloved fingers prodding into your slippery skin, touching places they shouldn’t with no questions asked. You wished you had enough power to fight back. To scratch, to bite, to kill.

But a bathtub worth of chlorine water was only enough to keep you alive, just barely. You knew they were doing it on purpose, they were smart enough to figure out that they couldn’t keep you locked down if you were stronger. They knew it when they fished you out of the ocean and let you starve, let your skin turn dry and warm. When the first fever hit and your scales started turning stone-like, they finally put you into water from your humid prison just so they could keep experimenting.

You had your eyes closed, too exhausted to move, to react, but you heard their whispers in the white of the room. Human language wasn’t that hard to understand, not with their greed and cruelty. You swore to yourself you would hurt as much as you could at the first chance. You would leave as much damage as you could before ending it all. You would rather have it your way then letting them cast you away like a used toy when they finished taking you apart.

The ocean didn’t forget after all.

Something cold touched your perched lips and your tired eyes fluttered open, waking from your dreamless sleep.

It was his eyes, the first thing you saw. They were the color of wet sand at sunset. They were gentle and kind with the warmth of the Sun. You flinched away nevertheless because you knew this dance, you knew this trick and you wouldn’t fall for it.

Even if every fiber in your body screamed for the water in the glass the boy brought, you turned your head away, letting your long, air-dried hair cover your face. Your cheek pressed against the cold tiles, a little comfort as you ignored the pain of moving with not enough water in your body. You breathed through your mouth harshly, something that didn’t come naturally but you had to learn to do anyway with the poisoned tap water barely reaching your waist in the small space you could call yours.

“You should drink.” Kind Eyes said and even his voice was gentle despite being deep like ocean waves. Humans were so two-faced. How could they lie with not only their words but with their voice too?

“I promise it’s just water,” he added cautiously and anger flared in you.

He knew then. Of course, he knew. That the water they brought you was not to help you but to make you less of a trouble when they unchained you. It made you drowsy, you couldn’t control your own body and dulled your senses. At least it paled the pain too, so when you were lying on their operation tables, you saw the wounds more than you felt them. You were full of zigzag white scars, healed only by water because you were the ocean’s daughter. Such a disappointing one, fallen into the trap of humans.

“Please,” the boy’s voice trembled and it was the last straw because he didn’t get to do that. He had no right to plead when he acted like he was doing you a favour and you were saying no.

You leaped towards him as fast and as hard as you could, your elbow knocking the glass out of his hand that went flying to the ground, leaving shreds of glass and water puddles all over. The metal dug into your wrists as the chains harshly kept you back, your face merely a few inches from the boy’s as you glared at him.

He didn’t even flinch nor did he pull away at the closeness. The other white collared men all looked at you with either disgust or with very human hunger in their eyes. But all of them were afraid of you. They all had their little needles prepared in case you attacked, in case you bared your canines like the predator you were.

This one, he seemed more fascinated than anything. He looked at you like you were a wonder and maybe that was the worst. You wished you could scare him. You wished you could taste his blood to have these humans taste their own medicine. You wished you could drown him in the chlorine of your poor excuse of a bathtub. You wished he stopped looking at you like that.

Because you didn’t know what to do with that.

Somewhere further down the hall of the basement a door opened and closed.

The boy with honey brown hair and doe eyes snapped out of his stupor and quickly stood up, looking around. He looked at the broken pieces of glass on the ground, quickly swept them under the sink with his shoes before looking down at you. His eyes were full of something you couldn’t name. You didn’t see this look on any human before him. It made you hate him even more.

The boy didn’t come back again after that. Not alone at least.

There were footsteps of four people. You could tell with your eyes closed. One of them was the bearded older man who ordered everybody around. He always talked about you like you were his trophy in a fatherly tone yet he treated you like a ragdoll. His voice alone made you want to tear his skin with your nails until he bled, preferably from his artery. 

“What you will see, Donghyun-ah, is strictly classified. You cannot tell anybody about this. It could be the discovery of the century. Our institute would be the first to…”

The man kept talking but you tuned out his voice. You became good at that: pretending not to feel, not to hurt. You kept your eyes strictly locked on at one point while the man whom the others referred to as senior doctor touched your turquoise scale-covered fin. You kept your mouth in a firm line when he pressed down hard enough to hurt. You clenched your teeth, breathing through your nose, willing yourself not to move while he grabbed your hair roughly to push it aside, revealing the gills at your neck. You stayed still like a statue, your eyes straight on the boy and his eyes full of horror. You could hear his heartbeat pick up like whispers of the ocean in a shell but you couldn’t tell whether it was from anger or dread, fear or something else. You kept eye contact nevertheless because you wanted him to see it: that you weren’t afraid, that you weren’t there to humor them. You were a survivor, a force of nature, you were the ocean itself and you would have your vengeance one day.

It hurt. Breathing.

The scales on your chest, just above your breasts were still healing from the metal digging into your skin where it was the softest. At weak moments like this, you just wanted to sleep, sleep forever. Become one with the water and the stars.

Sounds of approaching steps alerted you and you braced yourself for one more round of unwelcomed sterile touches and pain. You didn’t let your guards down even when it was the boy with the soft eyes. He might not have been the one cutting and pulling out scales from your skin one by one but he could as well have been. One day he would be.

He approached you slowly but not out of fear. He moved deliberately as if he didn’t want to scare you. He had a cloth in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. You eyed him warily as he sat down at the edge of the tub.

“I’m going to pour it on you. It might be cold,” he whispered and something deep inside you wanted to snort because this boy clearly had no idea how cold the deepest parts of the ocean were. But you kept silent, gritting your teeth, mentally preparing yourself for the burn, for a trick, for anything other than ease for the pain.

But then the water touched your skin, familiar and ocean-scented, dribbling down from your shoulders across the valley of your chest to your turquoise scaled tail and you felt a little bit more alive. You felt like you could finally breathe and your scales shone just a bit brighter and the angry red scars faded. You didn’t intend to let it show but your shoulders shrugged in relief. Maybe that gave the boy the courage or maybe he was reckless by nature but he moved closer.

“Your wrists,” he explained and before you could have protested, he lightly dabbed over the wet cloth along your metal-cut wrists tied to the not working tap, helping them heal too.

For the first time, it was you who studied him. The way he leaned over you to reach your arm. The concentration on his pretty face. The way his fringe fell over his honey eyes. He was beautiful in his fragile human way. Centuries ago he could have been a prince or a sailor you would have seduced into the waters.

He was so close you could hear his heartbeat clearly like the little chimes on fishing boats. Water was filling up your veins but you could still feel your hunger grow. It would have been so easy. He made himself an easy prey. It made you wonder whether it was just a ploy, whether they were testing you, whether he wanted something in exchange. He must have had some ulterior motives because humans were selfish creatures. Even if he wasn't, his death would have been a small price to pay for freedom.

You didn’t move even when the boy pulled slightly back to check on his work. Not when his gaze lowered to your face and your eyes met. He was so close you could feel his breath on your lips and you would have had to barely push yourself up to meet his. You imagined kissing him until all oxygen left his lungs, leaving his lips chapped and bloody.

You could have drowned him. Right there. In the water of his own body.

“Aren’t you afraid of me?”

You barely recognized your own voice. It had been so long since you had sung, even longer than you had spoken a human language. It surprised the boy too. His eyes widened and he blinked in confusion, but didn’t pull back.

“I could kill you now. I want to kill you,” you told him coldly because he was one of them and they deserved it.

The boy didn’t even flinch.

“Why aren’t you then?” He asked simply, so calm as if he knew no tidal wave came crashing.

“I don’t know,” you admitted because your only explanation was that he was an odd one. “Why are you helping me?”

You weren’t naive enough to expect the truth but you weren’t sure if a lie or pity was more humiliating.

“Nobody would deserve this,” came the answer as if he wasn’t one of the white coated people, as if he didn’t see you as a mere test subject.

“Not even a monster?” You asked with a tilt of your head because you had heard what they said about you, about your kind. You knew the tales mothers used to tell their sons about the beautiful, dangerous beasts of the sea in order to keep them from wandering around. You weren’t more of a monster than those men though. Not even with sharpened teeth and claws.

“You’re the farthest thing from one.” Doe Eyes spoke in the softest tone like he really believed what he was saying. Like he didn’t see your anatomy on a blueprint in those white walled operating rooms. Like he didn’t hear the rumors about you spilling the blood of his peers on capture day. Like the only thing keeping you back from tearing him apart wasn’t hanging on a loose thread.

So this time, you did snort.

“You have no idea.”

They starved you for two whole weeks. You could only keep track of days due to the unexpected daily visits and yet, they would have never guessed that your condition wasn’t worsening rapidly thanks to one of their own.

“I’m sorry,” the boy apologized in his honey voice after the sea water he brought healed the newest puncture wounds on your bare shoulder and you looked up at him in question, confused. “That I can’t do more.”

You couldn’t say you understood him. He was on neither side. He wasn’t with those men who just took and took and took nor was he brave enough to go against them and let you go. He was neither good nor bad yet he was doing more for you than anybody had ever done. You weren’t used to kindness like this, neither from humans, nor from your own kind, so you were wary of him and his apologies. If you had been meaner though, you would have told him that it wasn’t that he couldn’t, it was that he didn’t want to. But you weren’t the type to bite the hand that fed you. And who were you to blame him for his selfishness when you were the same? You both just wanted to survive in a harsh world.

His name was Donghyun, you finally remembered. It burned into your brain cells as clear as the scalper’s cut was into your tender skin when they forced the surgical tool into his trembling hands.

You saw the tears pooling in his eyes and you really didn’t understand why he was crying. You were used to the pain. You were used to being hurt.

Maybe he wasn’t used to being the one to do the hurting but his hands were at least kinder than anybody else’s.

Donghyun sat on the edge of your bathtub when you awoke. The first thing you noticed was that his hands were still shaking. The second was that one of his cheeks reddened in the form of a palm and something heavy and angry pressed down on your chest seeing him hurt.

Comfort didn’t come naturally to you, it wasn’t in your nature yet looking at him then you wished it was. You wanted to reach out to touch, to hold, which was so unlike you catching yourself doing so hit you like a heavy wave. For once, you were relieved that the chains held you back and you couldn’t move. It would have been a mistake to start caring now.

Yet, you started humming an old sea melody, the rhythm of waves washing up the shore on beautiful, calm mornings to fill the silence. It wasn’t enchanted like your singing but this was the most you could do. It wasn’t comfort, it wasn’t care, just to fill the silence, you told yourself.

Still, Donghyun looked at you in awe, his gaze mellow like you were a miracle and not just something broken. It somehow made you feel worse. He wasn’t supposed to look at you like that. Not without glamour.

The next day you carved four lines like a sculptor into the doctor’s old face. His blood was still under your nails when they dumped you in the damp metal cage with no water at all as a punishment. Your tail laid uselessly on the ground and your scales felt heavy on your body. Like this you really felt like a fish out of the water.

Time went differently without having Donghyun around. You didn't even notice how much you got used to his presence until you started missing it. You replayed his voice, gentle and deep, imagined his eyes on you, kind and free of judgement, naive, over and over again.

“Do you miss it? The ocean?” Donghyun had once asked.

It had been a stupid question. It was like asking if you were missing the oxygen but you answered nevertheless. If he wanted to make small talk so bad, you might let it just to hear his voice.

“Every breath.”

“How is it? Tell me about it,” he had prompted softly and you soon learned that he was fascinated by everything you told him about your home, a safe haven and a doom all the same. You had thousands of stories about how vicious the sea could be, how cold and unforgiving, but just as much about its beauty and Donghyun drank them all in. When he told you about the time he learned to swim or when he saved a turtle, you realized: he was nothing like the other white coated men who just wanted to take and take from the waters until they could. Until they drained it from its wonders… and horrors, like you. Donghyun was different, he just wanted to observe and understand. Not that you needed or wanted his sympathy. Or so you told yourself.

When Donghyun held your hand for the first time, you thought you were dreaming. It didn’t seem real. His touch was feather-like, butterfly wing touches against your dry skin. He was so careful as if you could crumble just from his fingertips.

“Hey.”

When you heard his voice, you wondered whether your mind was playing games with you. Whether the lack of water was starting to drive you to insanity finally.

You opened your tired eyes slowly and in the dimly lit basement room, Donghyun’s elegant features came out a little hazy. Or were you dizzy just from the thirst?

“I’m getting you out,” the boy said so confidently as if it was the easiest thing to do. If it wasn’t too exhausting to move an inch of muscle you would have laughed at him. Without the sea, you were nothing. You were less than a pretty shell.

In that state of yours, barely conscious, you couldn’t tell how he managed it: how he got you into a wheelchair or where he got the key to your chains or the card that opened every door but the next thing you knew was rain and wind hitting you in the face, sand and sea on the horizon. The salty air made breathing easier.

It was a typhoon, you could tell. It was the sky’s wraith and oh there was a reason why storms were named after women.

You were halfway down the beach right next to the research institute when the white coated monsters noticed your absence amid the chaos the typhoon caused.

“Stop! Kim Donghyun, don’t you dare!” The doctor’s voice boomed like thunder then it was followed by bitter disappointment when Donghyun didn’t even falter. “I knew she put you under her spell, you stupid child.”

Two long sentences full of curses later the ocean welcomed you in her waves like a benevolent mother welcoming her ungrateful child back in her embrace.

It was like food for the starving, like a drug for an addict in rehab. Being back in the waters made you feel a heady kind of powerful, like you could do anything. You could feel the waves coming, you could taste the salt on your chapped lips, you could feel the hunger and anger come back in full force. You could have just left. Now being able to swim freely without chains, without anybody holding you back, you could have just headed towards the deepest part of the ocean and never look back but you didn’t even think about leaving like that. Not when you could finally sing.

You will drown them all, you thought, a little wicked, because wasn’t it cosmic justice? Letting the sea take them after they had taken you from your motherland?

You could feel the enchantment building up around you, its sound was carried through waves and thunder, the storm helping you make a symphony. Surrounded by the water and its fury you felt power surge through your veins and just like that your siren song filled the air. It really was a bit like a spell, just as much you were a sea witch.

You watched with a content smile as the old senior doctor and all his followers struggled to get to you in the water, getting deeper and deeper. You let them drown one by one as they couldn’t keep up with the storm brewing and the heavy waves took them under. You didn’t pay much attention to most of them, your focus was on your main torturer, the old man, the doctor. You swam up to him with a sweet smile watching his face morph into a blissful grin at your closeness, then you grabbed him by the collar and dragged him underwater. You pierced your sharpened teeth through his wrinkly skin and bled him out like it was poison. You wanted him to suffer like he had done to you. Like they deserved.

Vengeance never tasted so sweet.

It was like waking up from a long slumber when you came to consciousness. Rage and adrenaline had left your body by then, leaving you exhausted in the calm after the storm. The beach was left in ruins all around and that was when you realized that something was wrong. Something was missing. Or rather, somebody.

Donghyun.

In your haste and delirious state, you forgot that even though he helped you, he was human too. That if he stayed close, he was just as affected by your song as all those sailors over the years. Him of all people, the only one who thought you weren’t a monster.

“No,” you whimpered when the realization hit you. “No, please.”

Frantically you looked around, swimming towards the part of the beach where the wheelchair was left, broken. That’s where you found him, near the rocks, lying in the sand, unconscious. Even as you got closer, you couldn’t hear his heartbeat and it was your fault.

You crawled over the sand, right to his side. Even in this state, soaked and pale, sand sticking to his skin and hair, he looked like an angel. But he had water in his lungs and a barely beating heart.

You could have left him there and nobody would have batted an eye, nobody would have even known that you killed one more but the thing was: your kind might have been selfish but you were loyal too. He had saved your life, so now you owed him.

“Come back,” you whispered as you leaned over him, watching his pretty, calm features before pressing your lips to his, evaporating the water from his body just enough to let him breathe. When you pulled back, you could still feel the soft tingle of his lips on yours and you waited until a flutter of his eyelashes showed that he would awake. Then you slipped back into the sea, out of sight, as if you hadn’t even been there in the first place.

You watched from a distance as he was found by an elderly couple and he looked around confused. You watched as he was treated with the kind of care and kindness you could have never given him because you belonged to the cold deep ocean sea and he belonged to the warm soiled land. You had no future together, nothing but a fever dream fantasy.

And if he heard your humming at night when he walked on the beach, some would have called it haunting but some would have called it a confession.

Because you weren’t made for love but he was. He deserved it all and this was the most you could give him. The love of the ocean, untouchable but always present.

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 96

Part 1 Part 95

Mom makes him go home when he starts dosing on Steve’s hospital bed. But it’s okay because she kisses Steve’s cheek before she leaves, and Eddie and Wayne stay parked by his side. 

The connection’s easier now. It’s like all that time straining for Steve has snapped something into place. He can feel them all the time, a warm buzzing in his chest. He wonders if he runs hot now. If the warmth will diffuse through his whole being, make coats obsolete even in the dead of winter. 

Hopper is waiting for them in the waiting room, El burrowed into his side. She looks wan, and tired, drooping into her extravagant coat, eyeliner running down her cheeks like she’s been crying. Something inside him twists when he looks at her.

Before he can untangle that knot of emotion, Hopper stands up, both hands slapping against his knees first the same way Mike’s dad does before he gets up from his recliner. “You ready to go?” he asks, not looking away from Mom. 

When Will glances up, Mom’s smiling up at Hopper in a way he doesn’t want to think about. The adults talk quietly in front, leaving El to stumble tiredly along beside Will. She’s staring at the side of his face. Will can’t bring himself to look back. 

“Steve,” she says, sounding the word out and making it longer like it still tastes foreign on her tongue. “He is okay?”

When Will gets up the courage to look over, her eyes are big and worried. He smiles at her helplessly. It’s almost funny how innocent she looks; like she’s a bunny dressed up in punk clothes. “He’ll be okay.”

She smiles, small and close lipped, but it still beams out of her like the sun. Will tilts his head to the side and tries to see what Mike sees in her. He wants to hide her in Castle Byers, build a fortress around her, and keep her away from all the lab people for the rest of her life. 

Is that howMike felt, hiding her in his basement, giving her frozen eggos and keeping his mouth shut? 

But then her lips thin and she looks forward again. The feelings vanishes. It’s just El, hia friend, despite how much of Mike’s attention she’d snapped up just by being herself. 

“I’m glad,” she says, looking at Hopper’s broad back as she takes two steps for each one of his. 

It’s quiet after that, the way it always is after; all of them too brittle and bruised and bone-deep tired for conversation.

Hopper’s truck rat-a tat-tats itself to life in the hospital parking lot. The radio croons out something quiet and thrumming until Hopper reaches over to shut it off.

El’s heads smushed into the window, vibrating against the pot-holed roads of Hawkins.

Will’s so tired he’s wide awake. 

He watches the familiar buildings of Hawkins flicker by. It's been a long time since knowing his surroundings brought any comfort. 

Monsters could live behind every door, every tree, every smiling face.

He’s not sure any of them will ever feel safe again. 

Will closes his eyes, locking the scenery out so he can focus on the bundle of warmth in his chest. They’re still huddled together, two sparks merging in his chest. 

The past couple days have been a necessary violation of Eddie’s private feelings. He’d bared them all with love confessions and grasping hands, trying to pull Steve back from the edge of immolation. 

He’s not even sure Steve knows, hopes he does. Steve deserves to hold that love delicately between his palms and choose what to do with it. 

He won’t crush it, even if it’s unreturned. He’ll hold it gently like he always does.

Will doesn’t realize he fell asleep, or that they’d arrived home until he’s in free-fall. It feels like one of those falling dreams where you wake up solidly in the middle of your bed, but this time he really is tumbling, only Jonathan’s arms keeping him from hitting the gravel. 

“Are you okay?” he asks shakily as he pulls Will into his chest, holding him tight enough to hurt. “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Mom murmurs, wrapping them both up in her arms, chin landing solidly on Jonathan’s shoulder, sandwiching Will between their bodies. “Everyone’s fine, right Will?”

Will murmurs his affirmation, feeling groggy and confused in the light of day. 

“I was with Nancy,” Jonathan whispers. “I was just with Nancy, and you were–I almost–”

“Shh,” Mom cuts him off, reaching up to cradle his face and smile up at him. Will barely catches the edge of his watering eyes from his restricted vantage point between them. “Everyone’s fine.”

“I should have been he–”

“Jonathan,” Mom interrupts again, sharper this time. “Everyone is fine. You deserve a normal life.”

“But Will–”

“I’m fine!” Will cuts in this time. 

Jonathan pulls back, looking down at him with worried, droopy eyes. “And Steve? Mike said he was possessed.”

Will feels that bundle of warmth in his heart, lets it shine through his smile as he looks up at his brother. “He’ll be okay.” As Jonathan droops with relief, Will feels his smile turn cheeky. “Eddie will never let you forget that you were on a date while we were fighting monsters, though.”

Jonathan closes his eyes, pained while Mom laughs. 

It’s not until they’re walking toward the front door that Will notices the lack of demo-dog bodies. There’s still puddles of black oil-slick blood, but everything else looks normal. Who covered their tracks? The lab? Hopper?

He settles down for the debrief, pillowing his head on Jonathan’s shoulder as Hopper’s even tones flit through his brain. 

Maybe familiar places no longer hold any comfort, but Jonathan’s bony frame is enough to lull him into a peaceful sleep.

Part 97

Taglist: @deany-baby @estrellami-1 @altocumulustranslucidus @evillittleguy @carlprocastinator1000 @hallucinatedjosten @goodolefashionedloverboi @newtstabber @lunabyrd @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @manda-panda-monium @disrespectedgoatman @finntheehumaneater @ive-been-bamboozled @harringrieve @grimmfitzz @is-emily-real @dontstealmycake @angeldreamsoffanfic @a-couchpotato @5ammi90 @mac-attack19 @genderless-spoon @kas-eddie-munson @louismeds @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @pansexuality-activated @ellietheasexylibrarian @nebulainajar @mightbeasleep @neonfruitbowl @beth--b @silenzioperso @best-selling-show @v3lv3tf0x @bookworm0690 @paintsplatteredandimperfect @wonderland-girl143-blog @nerdsconquerall @sharingisntkaren @canmargesimpson @bananahoneycomb @rainwaterapothecary @practicallybegging

[elluminis]

One Piece Fic Recs 2: Electric Boogaloo

Would you look at that, I’m back at it again with another collection of fic recs! If you have any fics that you’ve greatly enjoyed that I haven’t listed out, please send them my way! Once again, organized roughly by ship, with some of my all-time favorites marked with a ❤️ :)

(This list has a lot of zosan, because that’s the ship I’ve been most fixated on lately. There is also a ton of Sanji, but that should come as a surprise to approximately nobody).

Gen:

tomorrow never happens by midnightluck (NR)

That time Sabo pickpocketed a Marine, got kinda arrested (but it was only pretend! really!), asked some questions, got some answers, and broke a door. What's a bit of amnesia in the face of family?

Garp is a character that I find myself either loving or hating—and here, I very much love him :)

Somewhere Between Sorrow and Bliss by srididdledeedee (G)

I debated on whether this fic belonged here or under zosan, but I think more than anything this is a fic about Sanji and his gender.

This fic is so well-written, and is such a gorgeous examination of gender, trauma, and how they intermingle. I’ve talked before about how much I adore genderqueer Sanji, and this fic kind of encompasses every reason why.

a little bit odd, a little bit theirs by WhirlyBird70 (T)

There are things about the little boy that works at the Baratie that don’t quite make sense. Or, the cooks of the Baratie learn to love Sanji, weird quirks and all.

lightning turns sawdust gold by younglegends (T)

Kind of a cross between a Sabo character study and a “Sabo and Ace meet pre-Marineford” AU. Very well-written, with a fantastic dynamic between Sabo and Koala :)

Lost in Translation by HyperbolicReverie (T)

I love fics that play around with the idea of language in the One Piece world, and this one touches on Zoro and his relationship with Wano :)

requiem for lab rats by MissingN000 (T) ❤️

Hi this fic completely replaced the canon fights with King and Queen in my mind. Basically, what if Judge was one of the scientists on Punk Hazard when King was held there? And what if Sanji was the one who fought King instead? There is just…something so heartbreakingly authentic about this fic. There’s some minor zosan, but it’s practically blink and you miss it. (As an aside, my irl One Piece bestie literally JUST sent me this fic not a day after I’d read it, and we got to scream about it together. So…basically, it’s got two seals of approval!)

Stigma by ZephGale (T)

In which the Vinsmoke name has more than just psychological repercussions for Sanji, and in which his crew shows him their unwavering support.

where nothing hurts and nothing breaks by taizi (T)

Sanji is de-aged to a young child, and finds himself face-to-face with a big, strong man with green hair. But unlike Yonji, Zoro seems to use his strength to protect, rather than to hurt.

Lawlu:

the taste of ink by sweetdd (E)

In a shocking twist of fate, I come to offer more lawlu porn! Feat. tattoo artist!Law and suitably impulsive!Luffy :)

We Should Get Rid of Our Innocence Together! by Vomsa (E)

“Pathetic virgin Law and innocent virgin Luffy” pretty much sums this fic up. I promise it’s much sweeter than it sounds :)

we’ve got blood and honey (getting high and getting some) by Trashgalore (E)

This fic is…porn with very minimal plot. Basically, some very hot and well-written wound-fucking (not as extreme as it sounds) 👀

Lusan:

Wanted by transaizen (E)

Obligatory fic of Sanji with a praise kink! I am…very obviously a Sanji lover if one takes even a cursory glance at these fic recs, and how 99% of them feature my boy. Lusan isn’t my top Sanji ship, but by god do I love both characters to death, and lusan is a ship that more than does them both justice :)

Namivivi:

Shredded Letters and Telltale Expressions by hopipp (fancy2na) (T)

In which Nami realizes that she and Zoro have a little something in common (queer unrequited love) and maybe help each other out a bit :)

stolen things by Origamidragons (T)

The love language of a thief, as viewed from the outside :)

I really do adore namivivi, but I haven’t read many fics that focus on the two of them! So this fic made my queer little heart happy :)

Zolu:

that which is breathed by kurgaya (T) ❤️

This is the fic that got me hooked on daemon AUs, for both this fandom and others! I adore the characterization of Zoro and his daemon here, as well as the way the author works daemon lore into the lore of One Piece. Very much worth the read, whether you normally read zolu or not!

let thy sword be thy tongue by queerweather (M) ❤️

You know, I’ve said before that you know every zolu fic I recommend is good because I’m very much a zosan girlie, and I really mean it here because I’m insane for this fic. It’s got a chokehold on me. This fic is a love letter to Luffy, Zoro, and Zoro’s swords and by god is it deserved.

In which Luffy asks to handle Zoro’s swords, and Zoro wasn’t exactly prepared for how that would undo him.

Zosan:

For Better or For Worse by Hazel_Athena (NR)

Why, if it isn’t the return of Hazel_Athena! In which Sanji is doing his damndest to propose to Zoro, but the “universe” seems determined to get in his way…

Whatever You Wish For You Keep (Podfic) by Taurnil and three_days_late (G)

A Cinderella AU, featuring transfem!Sanji and prince!Zoro. It’s very well-written, very sweet, and accessible to boot!

This fic was written by three_days_late, with the wonderful podfic from Taurnil! I actually read this fic for the first time via the podfic, as I am in fact a huge enjoyer of audiobooks :)

a complete guide to falling in love by ThousandSunny (T)

Sanji was trained in the Bridal Arts; this does not go unnoticed by the rest of his crew.

Sanji’s love language is acts of service/caretaking, which is very much embraced in this fic. Also, the listed/categorical approach this fic takes with each chapter is very interesting, and makes my brain happy!

come on, come on (turn a little faster) by donutsandcoffee (T)

A classic zosan fic! Wherein Zoro and Sanji are very obviously dating—at least, it’s obvious to everyone except for Sanji.

Dear Gloom Island by brunetta6 and Springtime4Persephone (T)

These two are such a fantastic pair of writers, and I have honestly never read an epistolary novel or fic before this one that I’ve ACTUALLY enjoyed. But lo and fucking behold! In which Zoro and Sanji wind up writing each other letters while they’re separated post-Sabaody (with an additional smut fic available separately)!

Firedrake by Hazel_Athena (T)

In which a young Sanji finds a lost dragon in the storerooms of the Baratie, and he can never leave a hungry mouth unfed.

Lightning Strike by Hazel_Athena (T) ❤️

I’m kind of a slut for soulmate AUs, and this one certainly satisfies! In which soulmarks appear in the first place skin-to-skin contact occurs between soulmates, and Sanji is less than thrilled with the person at the other end of his bond—at least, at first.

This fic covers from Loguetown all the way through to Whole Cake, and it is a treat the entire ride :)

Ocean’s Child by 8ball (T)

You know me and my love of mermaid AUs! It’s the childhood friends mermaid!Sanji zosan fic of my dreams, and is absolutely adorable to boot. There are four other fics in a series with this one, but this story is by far my favorite and I didn’t want the whole series to get lost in the explicit section because of one fic :)

Rumors go a long way by hllfire (T)

In which a few out-of-context comments lead the marines to the absolutely ridiculous conclusion that Sanji and Zoro are now married.

where you gonna be (when the money run low) by summermidnights (T)

A supernatural AU? In my fic recs? I am but a simple lad, and easy to please. In which barista!Sanji co-owns a coffee shop that caters to the undead, and vampire hunter!Zoro becomes a regular.

A Thousand Nights by RazzaDazza (M)

A tw for self harm in this one. I adore an examination of Sanji’s mental state, especially one that isn’t afraid to get complicated. And I love how this fic portrays Zoro—as a protector and a caretaker, how does he take down an enemy that isn’t physical and isn’t his to fight?

I’ll Do Anything For You That I Don’t Want To by bluegoose (M) ❤️

The asexual!Sanji fic I didn’t know I needed. As an asexual myself, I absolutely adore explorations of asexuality and intimacy in fic, especially when it gets messy. The lines between romance, intimacy, and sex are easily blurred, especially when one doesn’t know that separation is an option.

Laundry by LibbyLune (M) ❤️

I have a deep and abiding love for Sanji with the queerest of genders, and this is an interpretation that I absolutely adore. That there can be a disconnect between clothing and gender. That there can be a blurred line between innocent preference and kink. And that this world is complicated, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

All My Firsts by beefcakelesbian (E)

In which Zoro magnanimously helps Sanji to check several firsts off the list, and is perhaps getting just as much out of it as Sanji is.

As Told by Fate (As Told by Us) by 8ball (E)

Sanji doesn’t really buy this whole “soulmates” thing—after all, his parents were soulmates. Zoro couldn’t care less about the mark on his back—why would he let a little thing like fate dictate his life?

Contingencies and Congruencies by PeaceSignDisasterBi (E) ❤️

This is the fuck-or-die/sex pollen fic of all time, and it is fucking fantastic the whole way through. The Strawhats plan for everything and nothing: for instance, they will improvise their way through overthrowing a government, but also have a categorical list of consensual helpers of dubious consent. The duality of man!

There are minor spoilers for the beginning of Egghead in the last chapter, so just be aware of that if you’ve managed to make it through the world of One Piece fanfics without getting any post-Wano spoilers!

Coregasm by Yakarmi (E)

This is…basically just porn lmao, but good porn! This also features my favorite brand of kinky pervert Sanji, because I love him unconditionally but even more when he’s being a freak.

Foolish body by fishmanbothfishandman (E)

For once, I come offering more Zoro-central zosan! This is an ABO fic featuring omega!Zoro and alpha!Sanji, and there’s a fantastic sort of push and pull between the two of them. Also, I adore caretaker Sanji, and this fic has plenty of it :)

Guard Down by abandonedstrawberry (E)

In which Sanji is touch-starved enough for it to be a liability, and Zoro magnanimously offers to help.

Insurgents by the Poolside by abandonedstrawberry (E)

In which Zoro and Sanji pose as a married couple while trying to uncover the darker truth behind a fancy resort…and the truth behind their feelings for each other.

Obelisk by DamianFinch (E) ❤️

This fic is a fucking behemoth, you hear me? 310k words, with a sequel in the works. But it is so, so, incredibly good. There’s also not that much smut here—it’s mainly E for being…incredibly dark.

This is a fic that changed my brain chemistry, okay? Basically, 21yo Sanji of canon One Piece swaps places with the Sanji of a different world—one where a 31yo Sanji is the genetically modified Stealth Black, fighting alongside the rest of the Vinsmokes as their chief strategist in a world with a very different physical and political landscape. There are so many incredible parts to this fic, but my favorite has to be the characterization. Sanji and Zoro get a lot of focus, of course, but quite literally every Strawhat is treated so reverently, and with so much love and respect. It’s so apparent to me that DamianFinch gets these characters, and wants to do them all justice. Please give this fic a shot!

One Time Thing by NaroMoreau and summerofspock (E) ❤️

This fic is. so good so far. A modern day ABO AU wherein Sanji and Zoro are roommates (and they were roommates) who have taken to sharing their heats and ruts together…but just as friends. Because neither of them would want anything more, right? Everything gets a whole lot more complicated for them both when Sanji goes into a sudden heat without time to sort out his birth control, and the two are suddenly saddled with a whole lot more than they bargained for…

Parasol by auspizien (E) ❤️

There are layers to this one, folks! Lawyer!Zoro has a crush on the cook at a nearby restaurant, but his tenuous plans to confess are shattered by the realization that Sanji spends his evenings working as a rentboy. This fic is complicated and messy, but even Zoro and Sanji’s questionable choices come off as endearing as opposed to frustrating—a very difficult balance to strike!

Riptide by summerofspock (E) ❤️

This fic has a chokehold on me 😭 in which Zoro is a fishman worshipped as the incarnation of a god on a certain island, upon which Sanji has recently been shipwrecked. The two wind up stuck with one another, in a situation neither has complete control over. I adore how both Zoro and Sanji are characterized in this fic, how Zoro being a fishman reshapes his backstory as we know it, and of course Sanji facing his load-bearing comphet :)

Steps of Calidity by auspizien (E) ❤️

It’s ABO ethics, the fic! In which Sanji tries to enlist Zoro to help with his heat…once in its midst, and once again with a clear head. Talking about the intersection of consent with primal instincts is endlessly fascinating to me—and of course, explicit consent is sexy :)

Talk About It by summerofspock (E)

This fic is fascinating to me: it’s kind of a deconstruction of romance, kink, and how they interact—especially in someone with such a warped sense of self as Sanji. While I love my overtly kinky fics, I think the one thing I love even more is psychological examinations of kink, or character studies through its lens. And this fic certainly does that!

the instinct to want you by lightrivals (E)

I absolutely adore nontraditional omegaverse dynamics, and this fic absolutely provides! Feat. omega!Zoro and omega!Sanji :)

Tower of Babel by Trixree (E) ❤️

You know how people will make those arguments about how sex has no artistic merit? I would love to shove this fic in their faces, because it is almost 7k words of the most gorgeous smut I’ve ever read. There are so many lines in this fic that I think about all the time, it’s just…incredible.

[moonjump65]

TFP S.A.R.I AU

What is the TFP S.A.R.I AU?

TFP S.A.R.I is an AU centering around the concept of the Aligned Continuity with the addition of Sari Sumdac from the TFA with an added Aligned Continuity twist. Mainly because I think the idea of a Half-Human/Half-Cybertronian along with the dynamic of an 8-year-old kid who actually acts like a kid and I think a lot of aspects in TFA with Sari went underutilized and I think a human for Ratchet or Optimus would be cute especially if their human was a little half alien/half human finding her place in the world.

2. Abilities

Sari's body is capable of converting food into Energon her body can use. Though nutritionally it is probably best to eat energon but she prefers human food. Normally she gets this by like eating her human food and washing it down with a cup of Energon. Her abilities would not manifest until near the end of season 2. Due to her small size, the type of power meant for a full-size Cybertronian(like a small plane due to her flight abilities) getting condensed to a compact human form. so she is small but packs a punch but doing things like an ion cannon blast quickly tuckers her out. Kind of like how when Antman was shrunken his punches hit worse. But she would not get the hang of that until the Time Skip. She also gets nauseated with the smell of Dark Energon. She would be detectable by Scraplets but when they take a bite they do not find her appealing. Her blood also has the ability to be transfused with humans, as she volunteers herself to donate blood/energon to Raph when he got shot with Dark Energon.

Her struggling to access her powers in the main series is a huge point of insecurity of hers.

3. Where did Sari come from and How did she get into Team Prime

I think in this AU Sari's origin could potentially tie with M.E.C.H and Cybertronian Colonists that tried to colonize Earth eons ago.  Her unique existence might have occurred when M.E.C.H. Agents found a Cybertronian Protoform and in a fluke accident, the Protoform interacted with a human. Her Protoform is a leftover remnant of Cybertronian colonists, kind of like Amethyst from Steven Universe

 M.E.C.H. encountered Sari's Protoform without knowing what it actually was or connecting to Cybertron. Just knowing that it was an organism that took on a form with the local flora and fauna and that it had Interstellar origins. Sari's initial name with M.E.C.H was the acronym S.A.R.I, standing for  Sentient Artificial Replicating Interstellar lifeform.

Isaac Sumdac is in this AU as a researcher for M.E.C.H. and one of the few individuals in M.E.C.H. that treated Sari like an actual child and not a lab rat. Often putting off serious or dangerous lab tests on Sari in favor of I.Q tests, puzzles, and the like. However, Isaac probably decided to go turncoat when realizing that M.E.C.H. is not above tearing apart an infant to advance humanity. He decided to go off and escape with an infant Sari and take her to a potential Government contact where she would be safe, being Agent Fowler. However, this selfless decision would cost Isaac his life. When Fowler took the child in for standard tests in a hospital they found that Sari had both CNA and DNA.

She came into Team Prime when she was aroouund 3-5 years old, and has been there for possibly 3-5 years. Sari would not really remember that time in M.E.C.H. too well, always just thinking it was just her, Fowler, and the Autobots and thinking those memories were just a bad dream. She would follow Ratchet and Optimus like their little shadow, and try to be useful here and there. Her cannon age at the start of the Prime series was 8 years old. Second to Fowler she is the second "Human" that was on Team Prime for the longest. Being both the youngest member and the second "human" that was longest on Team Prime she would have a bit of a jealousy when Jack, Miko, and Raph join the team. Though she would look up and admire Miko and try to emulate her by putting her hair in twin tails like Miko, Miko and Arcee would say the look fits her and she stuck with the twin tails ever since.

3. Sari's Role in Team Prime/ Season 1.

Sari would know right away that she is half Cybertronian and be considered an Autobot-in-Training despite her powers not manifesting yet. She would be considered Ratchet’s Ward and actually get the idiot to study some human biology due to her needs. Sari also starts showing an interest in Cybertronian Medicine and learning how to be a medic after CliffJumper's disappearance and death. Ratchet allows the help because it helps her to process what happened, and due to how small she is and how she can fit into tight spaces. Ratchet made a joke to Sari saying “What? Are you going to be my medical assistant now???” And she takes her role very seriously despite it being a joke. She would actually be the person to enforce bedrest on Optimus purely by either holding her breath till she passes out, or sitting on Optimus’s chest and saying she’s not moving, and if he moves he would cause her to go splat. But she ends up just falling asleep and it’s kind of like a cat on your lap moment for Op where you don’t move because the cat chose to be there. Ratchet would actually be proud of Sari for keeping Prime in line.

Realistically Sari is probably both Optimus’s and Ratchet’s kid. She’d often jump onto Optimus’s head and sit on his shoulders.

Often if Jack wants to sneak out and do shenanigans, he’d have to bribe Sari for her to look the other way, and she provides an additional service of providing cover/excuses for Jack if he pays another 10$. She would use this money for her candy stash/buying RC vehicles to bug Ratchet. They would more or less have an Arthur/DW relationship.

How she often distracts Optimus is telling her about Cybertronian history, or telling her about his past and she’d genuinely try to pay attention but end up confused or fall asleep. 

However it is only Jack and Smokescreen that she does this with. She does it for free for Miko because she thinks of Miko as cool and looks up to her, and looks up to Arcee and June.

June would GUSHHH over Sari, thinking of her as the daughter she never had, buying her various outfits and toys, and Jack would be shocked and surprised seeing his mom act like this and June is like “Oh please Jack Grow up.” And Sari would stick her tongue out at Jack because she knows he’s jealous.

Sari would be rather insecure about her struggle to get her abilities to work. Or think to herself would they ever work at all. Especially hearing one night Ratchet arguing with Optimus saying that she might not have any abilities outside of reading Cybertronian and consuming energon, and that it would be better to have her placed with a human family. And Optimus bounces back telling him that just because her abilities are limited doesnt make her a liability.

Sari would use herself as bait for the Scraplet episode being organic and inorganic, where they would see her and bite her but find her absolutely disgusting. She would say it didn’t hurt at all to be tough but it did hurt and she cried when Ratchet put rubbing alcohol on the bites. And at least didn't forget to get Raph the snowball-mainly to chuck at him at high speed.

She would always wonder where Prime would go on his drives and one day she snuck inside his Alt form to find out. Specifically when they were having the celebration party with WheelJack, and the Autobots tell Sari and the other humans that “Primes don’t party”, Sari feels really bad for Prime being alone and sneaks off to be with him and an hour into the drive says “Whatcha you doing” and that legitimately startles him.

Sari would find Birthdays to be a big deal, especially because Agent Fowler on her birthday would usually sneak her out and go to things like Chuck E. Cheese or an Arcade/Movie to celebrate her birthday. She asks Optimus when his birthday is, Optimus doesn’t remember the specific day for his birthday Sari just declares that his birthday is this very day and steals Jack or Miko's cell phone to call Agent Fowler or June to help organize a Birthday party for Optimus.

Before Optimus goes to Unicron’s core, he would give Sari the key to Vector Sigma (as also a nodd to her having the key to the All Spark in the original series), and seeing her pinkie promise to Miko, did a pinkie promise with Sari asking her to protect it. Telling Sari that it is the key to the Ground Bridge power supply, and how in recent days shown enough maturity to be given some responsibilities as an Autobot in training. Mainly in how she stepped up to use herself as bait during the scraplet infestation, and due to her being half human offered herself to be a conduit of Energon for Raph when he got shot with Dark Energon. But also due to her showing much interest in Cybertron, it’s past, and Optimus’s story (Mainly to serve as a distraction for Jack Sneaking out). With her recognizing that Optimus when he is back to being Orion Pax still thinks he and Megatron are still friends from all the stories he told her about the past.

Sari would freak out realizing she was given something this big, and having to go to Cybertron for the first time. Jack steps up and tells Sari he would go with her as he was the one that asked her for help being a distraction. When separated from Arcee and going inside to see Vector Sigma Sari would want to hold Jack’s hand. But as soon as Arcee came back she would quickly let go and wipe her hands.

4. Sari's Role in Season 2.

During season 2 she would completely take advantage of Smokescreen’s lack of knowlege of earth and sort of serves as his liason to earth but she couldnt even say the damn word. And when he tried to sneak out with the relic she would use that as blackmail and said “Yk, what couuuld convince me………give me a ride to the toystore” and Smokescreen was like “And what are you gonna do-“ and Sari would start yelling saying “Smokescreen is doing something with the reliiiiccc”

She would also be incredibly horrified seeing Silas/Breakdown as that amalgamation.

When Miko invites Sari to get revenge on HardShell, Sari declines saying “…I think…Ratchet needs me here to help with BulkHead.” Sari would not know how to feel with the possibility of Cybertron being restored. Asking the team if that means they would be leaving Earth behind? Or if she’ll have to say goodbye to her Earth friends forever? And Ratchet would say “….Well….it does not have to be. Earth is just as much home for you as Cybertron. We can figure something out.” Sari still felt uncertain and scared with that possibility. When the team prime goes on Cybertron and Ratchet is focused on the Omega lock mission.

Sari, frustrated sneaks off to go to the team’s human school. Ether Miko would see Sari and see her upset and let her tag along for the day. Or the humans would call June and she and Sari would go for a drive, and get ice cream and Sari would vent about being scared of possibly being left behind on Earth or leaving everyone and going to Cybertron. Especially scared because her powers are not manifesting and she doesn't know if they will ever manifest.

June would assure Sari saying “Do you really think Optimus and the others would do that? If they say that they will come up with something, have faith that they will.” And Sari would feel alot better and ready to go back to team prime base, so she would wait with the Prime Kids for Ratchet. That's when the Decepticons kidnapped them.

She would have her Steven Universe “I’m a Crystal Gem too” moment at the hostage exchange on Cybertron, where she very much tries to get her T-Cog to work and says “Don’t forget I’m an Autobot too!” And blows a hole through her container

I added as much as I could today from my notes. I will add more tomorrow about what I am thinking of in this AU. I know there will be a time skip but it will not be Robots in Disguise. Sari would be staying at around 8-9 years old in the Prime series then there would be a 10 year time skip after Prime. More like an Amalgam of IDW, Cybervers and other media. Though I will have to get caught up on IDW (I only just started). I do plan on sketching out this version of Sari some time this week.

[scribescrawls]

Thinking about tarnma role swap au where Pharma is leader of the DJD and Damus is CMO of Delphi. Perhaps a deviation happened that led them to different paths. Maybe Pharma never got an exemption to be a medic as a flight frame and grew bitter with time and ended up joining the Decepticons. Perhaps Megatron makes him think he’s special and even confides at one point he wanted to be a medic too as a purposeful way to make Pharma feel like someone understands him. Promises him that he’s going to give Pharma the chance to be a doctor that the world never allowed if he serves the Decepticons. After four million years Pharma has invented oh so many biological weapons and viruses for the Decepticon Cause. His original dream of being a great doctor and helping others corrupted and twisted over time. As leader of the DJD he hunts down traitors and when he catches them uses them to test his medical theories and research before ultimately killing them. He calls those on the List his List of Patients.

He has become a skilled and innovative surgeon though his medical education is nowhere near formal. However, he has honed his craft throughout the years and is known to be able to mend some of the most grievous injuries that most others would fail at. However, if it’s an enemy he has healed they’d probably rather be safely dead as Pharma “saving” them usually spells a worse fate as he uses them as test subjects for his medical curiosity. A brilliant doctor, but absolutely terrifying. And he is oh so inventive with his torture methods.

Meanwhile, perhaps by chance Damus manages to figure out a bit more control over his abilities sooner and finds that his voice can be used to manipulate a person’s spark. Except in this universe he finds that though he could use it to snuff out a spark he can also coax a spark from the brink of death. Though he never reveals he can use it to kill considering how shady the Senate is and he doesn’t trust the government not to force him to use it for horrible purposes. However his ability to stabilize and coax a person’s spark from the brink of death is seen as very valuable in the medical field and he’s assigned medic training with an exemption which is a step up from his previous jobs he was stuck in. Being a medic wasn’t really his dream, but he likes feeling useful helping patients and saving their lives. Makes him feel like he’s part of something bigger. He’s a decent medic, but he’s no Pharma or Ratchet when it comes to skill. Though his outlier ability makes him almost like a specialist for more precarious cases where the patient is in more critical condition. He does a lot of first response rescue where he can keep the patient hanging on until they can receive more in depth medical treatment.

This also leads to role reversal of Pharma toying with Damus and blackmailing him in this au instead of the other way around. Though since Pharma isn’t addicted to transforming he has no need for t-cogs. When Pharma visits the facility to meet with Damus to threaten him, Damus asks him what he wants. Of course Damus knows who this is and the DJD’s reputation, internally he is terrified but he’s trying not to show it. Pharma leaning in close with a mischievous smile that brings absolutely no comfort to the other as Pharma tilts Damus’ head up with his hand to meet his eyes and says “I want you”.

Seeing Damus tensing Pharma says to Damus “oh don’t worry I won’t kill you unless you give me a reason to. You’re much too precious. No I want you as my test subject. My special patient if you will. I want to see the limits of that spark of yours and what that ability can do. What medical limits could be reached with it with a bit of push.”

Damus vehemently refusing to be Pharma’s lab rat test subject.

Pharma responding to his refusal: And here I thought you cared for your patients and your team. I’m less inclined to kill such a precious subject such as yourself. However, I can’t say the same for the rest of the facility~

Pharma essentially gives him the ultimatum of be my test subject or I’ll have the DJD raze the place to the ground and your team and the rest of the people in your little hospital will become my new patients in your place. How many of their lives are worth yours I wonder? Or maybe I’ll release this new virus I’ve concocted into your facility and see how it ravages them all into a puddle of rust.

Without much of a choice Damus agrees to being Pharma’s test subject in exchange for leaving Delphi alone. Of course Pharma is smart enough to figure out that Damus’ spark manipulation has the ability to harm as much as heal. He toys with Damus making him use his ability on those he’s captured from the List including using it to torture them and of course it escalates to Pharma ordering him to kill them too.

[sehtoast]

Soothe Me (Homelander x Reader Powerswap!au)

18+ | gender neutral reader, light descriptions of gore, showering, he takes care of you | Fic Directory

He’d never admit it, but there’s a part of him that really likes when you come home like this.  Something sick and twisted in his core, something rotten that quivers with excitement every time you walk through the door covered in viscera.

Maybe it’s because of the way his life is.  He’s just some average, ordinary guy shackled by the restraints of a regular human life.  Wake up, take Ryan to school, go to work, pick his son up, eat dinner, sleep, and then repeat until he’s dead.  It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate his simple life or that beloved son of his who he was so fucking proud of,  but the mundane…

He’d be a liar if he said he never wished he was special.

You make him feel that way though. When you show up at his apartment drenched in gore, he feels so very special.  He feels like the keeper of an especially violent creature that would maim anyone and anything but him.  Something that, despite its sharp fangs and jagged claws, would only ever touch him with tenderness– with softness.

Even at times when your hand has gone around his throat, he’s always known you would never.

So when you show up like that again, is it any wonder that John practically bounces out of bed to greet you?  Hands at your cheeks to thumb away chunks of whatever moron pressed their luck, fingers combing through your blood-slicked hair, a kiss pressed to a dried patch because he is only human and doesn’t quite want some stranger’s bodily fluids in his mouth.

He’s started wearing darker shirts because of you.  It’s hard to explain to a child why there’s a red handprint that won’t wash out of his clothes, but it’s much less obvious this way.  Your leather clad hands fall to his waist immediately and your grip flexes the tiniest bit to steady yourself.

You can feel his warmth.  You can smell him more than the reek of iron and intestinal gunk splattered all over your body.  He smells of… cooked chicken. Some kind of cheap cheese.  A bitter salad dressing.  The lingerings of milk on his breath.  He must have just finished having dinner with his son.

You shut your eyes and focus.  You can hear the boy in his room. Legos clattering, narrations of dialog.  He still doesn’t know about you.  John doesn’t know how to tell him in a way that’s not overwhelming.

You breathe a deep sigh as he frets over you.  It’s the same every time. He’s scared you’re hurt, inspecting you as he brings you to the bathroom.  You’re only half aware of what’s going on.  The running of the shower, the hands tugging at your suit, his clothes hitting the floor. 

You’ve had a terrible day and it’s all you can think of…

Somehow, though, he draws you away from all of that.  Walks you into the shower and under the stream.  He adjusts the temperature the moment he sees you flinch at the heat.

You still haven’t told him about all of… that.  Your life before being Homelander.  When you were a mere lab rat, a product in development, poked and prodded and tortured to see what made you tick– what could make you sell .  He knows a little, but… you don’t quite have it in you to see him look at you with pity.

The hands that touch you in that cramped shower take you away from everything.  You’re here, not there. You’re not fist deep in that stupid fucking assistant who found you arguing with your other half in the mirror.  What’s left of that fool swirls down the drain.  You’re not getting berated by Edgar or dragged into some stupid fucking publicity stunt. Ashley isn’t up your ass about your itinerary.  You’re here.

He’s here.

Lips press to yours, gentle and sweet, and he whispers to you.

“S’okay.  You’re home now.”

Home.   It was such an odd concept.  You’ve had many homes.  Each of the cells in the lab, the penthouse, your cabin.

None of those have ever felt like home.  Here, though..?  You imagine it must be as close as you’ll ever truly have to a home.

You press him to the wall, his wrists trapped in your hands as you nuzzle into his neck.  His pulse rings in your ears. It pulsates louder than the stream of the shower and his breaths that grow with anticipation and a touch of excitement.

You know he enjoys it.  You meant to turn this into some kind of a hug, but… all you can do is just stay like that.  Hidden against him, lost in the symphony of all that keeps him alive.

“Long day, sweetheart?” His breath gusts over the tip of your ear.  

You release his wrists and wrap your arms around him, drifting away.  You answer him in a nod and he hugs you closer.  He has to be the one to do the squeezing.  If you did it, you’d shatter him.

“Let me take care of you?”  He asks for permission first.  He knows you love his doting, the way he spoils you rotten, but sometimes…  

Sometimes you’re not able to accept it.  Like a stray dog, wounded and afraid, your mistrust and fear comes out on him.  He has a small understanding of why you bite.  Of how many hands have hurt you, how many times you’ve had this very thing promised to you only for it to be a carrot on a stick with which you’d be beaten for ever stepping out of line.

He knows you’ve been made to beg for that which others have by right of simply existing.

Love.

He won’t ever make you beg.

He tells you this as he lathers you with soap.

“I love you.”

He tells you again as he thumbs a cleanser onto your cheeks.  Looks you right in the eye and declares it with a soft smile, twinkling eyes, and a kiss.  Watches you become like butter in his hands, softening, melting.  The coldness in your eyes dissipates into something sorrowful and pained– something yearning.

He knows that’s how you say it back.  He hopes one day he’ll hear you say the words, but this is okay for now.

He washes you meticulously, carefully, until not even a whisper of pink tint remains in the suds.  He dries you before himself.  Stands there dripping and cold as he puts you back together, caring for himself only once you demand it.

He wouldn’t stop shivering.  You practically had to say something.

How is it that he’d sacrifice his own comfort to take care of you?  He’d give and give until you had to fucking force him to take.  He confuses you.  You’ve never met anyone like him.  

He makes you feel insane.

“Give me that,” you grumble, taking the blow dryer from him to fan it over his hair.  He’d already taken care of yours.  You feel practically out of your mind at how badly you’ve wanted to do this.  You run your fingers through his pretty blonde locks, ruffle them into place, fluff the front just right.  He practically purrs at your touch.

He’s just as bad as you in that regard.  There’s something about the way he preens in the mirror as he watches you, perks up and grins, adjusts his hair just slightly from where you’d styled it that makes you chuckle.

John can’t even begin to explain how happy he is to finally see you smile.

He brings you to bed.  Normally you’d be initiating shenanigans, teasing and touching him every step of the way, but you’re tired in a way that not even sleep will fix.  He’s told you before that it’s a mental fatigue– that you’re overloaded and need to make time for yourself.  That even The Homelander needs to take a break sometimes.

He’s adamant about it tonight. 

“You can stay here.  Use some of your sick days.” He schemes.  “You’ve gotta have some of those after all these years, right?”

When you don’t answer, his brows knit in confusion.  He knows that means no, which makes no sense to him– but he doesn’t press you to explain.

“I want you to stay here.”  He says firmly.  He squeezes your hands between his as he stares into your eyes, engulfing you in that oceanic gaze that has a special way of getting you to do damn near anything.

You find yourself nodding.  What did you care if you pissed off everyone at Vought?  It’s not like it’d be the end of the world, and you’d much rather be with him anyway.  You huff a laugh against his neck as you nuzzle close to him.

How many people have ever been able to sucker you into something the way he can?  Well, there was one person, but… what’s done is done.  

But, John?

He had a way about wearing you down with just a simple smile, honeyed words, pretty blue eyes, and a declaration of love.  You really like the way his grin grows wider when you agree.  You like the way he hugs you tight and kisses the top of your head in excitement.

There’s no one in the world like him.  Nobody at all.

Your Johnny is so very special.

[frociaggine]

Anon with the friend who's reading tlt on the reverse order: Yes, he knows he's being a lab rat, he doesn't keep motes on the books because he's very much a casual reader (and thus perfect for the experiment) and so far we have only done Nona The Ninth and The Unwanted Guest, plus some chapters of HTN & Doctor Sex. There's the slight chance of osmosis corruption because I occasionally reblog modern au memes on my main blog, which I think is how he got Palamedes' whole deal.

There's not much he guessed, and even less he guessed correctly. He did call the fact Crown and Ianthe are related a pleasant plot twist, and he initially thought John was Varun.

The most interesting guess he had, which he arrived through flawed means, was Paul's existence, and the fact Pyrrha had some sort of connection to Gideon The Ninth — mostly because he guessed the average Lyctorhood to be Camilla and Palamedes', and with the reference of Gideon and G1deon as 1) permanently dead, in a setting where he's aware necromancy exists and he thought zombies to be actual resurrected people 2) connected to Pyrrha, and 3) the fact Pyrrha had "some weird vibes" (he refused to elaborate) led him to thinking Pyrrha was half Gideon, half someone else, and the reason Kiriona was vaguely off-putting to people was because she didn't have a full soul. Anyways he did think the same would happen to Palamedes and Camilla, which it did, and that Kiriona was pissed at Pyrrha because of an ambiguous degree of relationship

We have paused rn, as the labrat experiment is in return for me reading a webcomic per book

Oh yeah also im doing this because i either dreamt a post proposing it up or actually saw it, and honestly i wanted to see how much biases and previous narrative impacted the relationship of the reader with tlt characters, their relationships, and worldbuilding, as i absorbed tlt by osmosis as an agender aroace. so yeah giving a gay guy tlt without previous context in the reverse order to complete the trifecta (lesbian woman reading it in the correct order, aroace agender getting to know it by osmosis and figuring out the plot best I could before reading it, gay guy reading it in reverse)

ANON THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK! @mayasaura and everyone who wanted a follow-up to the first part.

"Thought John was Varun at first" is soooo big brained actually! I'm always thinking about John's more RB-like traits. I'm also very amused that he cast Pyrrha as the zombie puppeteer, I bet he's going to love tiny Harrow walking around her dead parent's bodies for a decade.

I also feel like the worldbuilding in NtN is veeery different from the general #vibe of the first two books — it feels like an "anime filler arc" kind of sidequest plot — and I'm very curious if going from NtN to HtN is going to make the settings vibe changes feel stronger or weaker than reading it normally would.

Anyway, I love that you decided to do this, and please let us know what he thinks about HtN! I hope you enjoy the webcomic :D

[five-rivers]

Cracked Clay Cup Chapter 13

@greatbigolhampuckjustforme

.

“Okay,” said Danny rubbing his hands together.  “I’m going to do the big group next.”

“Group number four?”

“Yeah, them.  Why’re there three of them, anyway?”

“You’ll have to ask them that,” said Clockwork.  “Au jus?”

“Yes, please,” said Danny, reaching for the small bowl of sauce.  “Your sandwiches are always really good.”

“Thank you,” said Clockwork.  “Will you be leaving after lunch, then?”

“Yeah, I think that’ll be best.”  Danny sighed.  “No offense, but I’m kind of going a little bit stir-crazy, being inside all the time.  I didn’t really realize until Pandora said something, but she was right.”

“That’s quite reasonable,” said Clockwork.  “The trial has lasted for nearly a month and a half.”

“Really?  I think I’ve only been with each person for about a week, and there’ve only been four people.  Five, if you count the Observants.”

“Yes, but you’ve spent a good amount of time here as well.  Those in-between days add up.”

“Huh.  I guess so.”  Danny took a bite of his sandwich.  “I guess it sort of snuck up on me.  A month and a half…  So two weeks here.”

“Yes, but please chew with your mouth closed.”

“Oops,” said Danny, covering his mouth.  “Sorry.”

Clockwork nodded and patted Danny absently on the head before making a small sandwich for himself.  They ate together quietly.  

“Three of them, though,” said Danny.  “Are they all together, or something?”

“You will–”

“Have to meet them and find out.  I know, I know.  Should I brush my teeth first?”

Clockwork raised an eyebrow.  

“Yeah, you’re right,” said Danny.  “That’s probably too much effort.  But I should put in some effort, shouldn’t I?”  He nodded.  “Yeah.  Toothbrushing.  Toothbrush.  One minute.”

.

Danny had been in a lot of places over the last month and a half.  A cute little house, two mansions possessed by people with questionable understandings of humanity, a warren of ice caves, an ancient Greek palace, and, of course, Clockwork’s purple place.  He’d imagined a lot of others.  Like open skies, broad fields, mountains, islands… horrible mad science labs…

However, he hadn’t imagined a place like this.

“Um,” he said, looking around the… stage?  Rats' nests of cables were strewn about in every direction, and next to the curtains hunting trophies were hung.  Heads, horns, antlers… hair?  A tail?  Whatever, this was weird, and there didn’t seem to be anyone around.  “Hi?”  He stepped forward over a tangle of cables.  “Hello?  Anyone–”

“BEHOLD!  I, TECHNUS, MASTER OF ALL TECHNOLOGY–”

Danny leaped backwards, to hover over the seating area, startled by the ghost rising out of the cables.  The stage lights came on, spotlights centering on the ghost.  He had long white hair, green skin, sunglasses built into his face, and a tattered lab coat.  

Music blasted out of speakers, rock and roll, screaming guitars, thundering drums and cymbals.  A young, gray-skinned woman with fiery blue hair rose up from under the stage.  She held a guitar painted with blue and pink flames.  

“HEYA, BABYPOP!” she shouted into a microphone that appeared in a burst of fire.  “WELCOME HOME TO MAMA EMBER, YEAH!”

“Hey!” whined the first ghost.  “You said I could do the introductions!”

“I never said that.  You said that.  I was always going to do the intros.  You think I’m going to leave it to you, when you just drone on and on and on and on and–”

“As if you’re any better!”

“I come with a sound track, audio jack,” said Ember.  

“My god, you two are so loud, and you didn’t even bother to introduce me,” said a deep, slightly hollow voice.  Danny startled again, twisting to see a ghost completely covered with silvery armor.  

“I thought you didn’t care about introductions,” said Ember.  She played a quick few chords on her guitars, then continued to use her music to punctuate her words.  “Because big, bad, baddie, bad, hunky, hottie, hunter Skulker doesn’t need an introduction.”  She leaned forward over the guitar.  “His name speaks for him!”  She started laughing so hard she floated up off the stage.  Music continued to blare from the speakers.  

“I, TECHNUS, MASTER OF ALL TECHNOLOGY, CAN TAKE YOUR SO-CALLED MUSIC OFF THE AIR!”

“We’re not even on the air!”

“I can’t believe I’m associated with these two idiots,” said Skulker.  

“I’d like to know how you’re associated with me,” said Danny, trying to smooth down his fur.  

“Isn’t it obvious, babypop?” asked Ember.  “We’re you’re parents!  Yeah!”  

“Uh,” said Danny, looking at the very strange trio.  “I don’t know about the other two, but aren’t you a little… young for that?”  She couldn’t be all that much older than Jazz.  

“I’m dead, kiddo.  Son.  Boy.  Little man.  I was a teen mom and all that.  Totally radical rockstar living.”

“With, um,” said Danny.  His eyes slid back and forth between Ember and Skulker.

“Skulker, duh,” said Ember.  “Techy here is Skulker’s boyfriend or whatever.”

“It’s not whatever.  I am his trusted–”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“We’re all dating, except when we’re broken up,” said Skulker, bored.

“Okay,” said Danny.  “So… you’re both…”  He shrugged at them.  

“What does this–” Technus also shrugged, “--mean?”

“I don’t know,” said Danny.  “You tell me.”

“Hm, the amnesia did not do favors for his intelligence!  I liked him much better before!  Do you want to see the lab?”

“The lab?” repeated Danny, backing away from Technus a little more.  

“It really didn’t help your intelligence.  Sad!  Perhaps some electroshock therapy might help?”

“Hey!” said Ember, kicking Technus’s tail.  “What did we say about electrocuting the flesh baby?  What did that narc say?  The tall purple one?”

“I know you know that Clockwork isn’t a narc,” said Skulker.  

The three of them started to bicker.  Danny watched in mixed fascination and horror.  

White hair on Technus.  Green eyes on Skulker and Ember.  Human-like appearances.  A mad science lab.  Jazz’s belief that Danny would buy the absurdly youthful mother story.  Frostbite’s conviction that his parents were abusive.  Heck, Danny could even see them meeting Vlad in college, if he fudged the ages a little.  He didn’t have any idea how old Vlad was, after all.  

Were these his actual parents?  Like, his actual, biological parents?

“Anyway, babypop,” said Ember, throwing a hand around Danny’s shoulder, “we heard about your predicament through the grapevine–”

“Through the grapevine?  Weren’t you just saying you were my mother?”

“Yeah, but I was on tour, Skulker was hunting, and Technus was… Being Technus.  We were, like, estranged.  Separated.  Because of the whole alive thing.  Fell out of touch.”  She waved a lazy hand.  “Anyway, we heard about the Observants putting you through hell, and we were like, that’s not cool.  So, we put our names in the hat, all that stuff, babypop, ‘cause we love you, y’know?  And we’re going to have so much fun.  I’ll turn you into a proper rocker yet.  You’ve got a great set of pipes, kid, and you’ve got to use that.”

“But first!” shouted Technus, at only a slightly lower volume than before.  “The GRAND TOUR!”

Danny took back that thought about the volume being lower.  

“TO THE LAB!”

Danny cringed away from Technus.  This was going to be a pain.  

.

“Okay,” said Danny, floating a few feet over the floor to avoid the wires.  “We’ve seen the stage, the sound room, the… conservatory?”

“Never say that I don’t have taste, babypop.  You’ve got to have a good piano in a house.”

“Yeah, then workshop, and the server room, and the lab.”  Which had, frankly, been horrifying.  Just a massive mess of electronics.  The sense of electricity in the room made his hair all stand on end.  “And the weapon room.  Then the… hunting.  Place.  And.  Um.  Zoo.”  Which was also horrifying, but for different reasons.

“Yes,” said Skulker, “our space may be limited, but you will soon know the joy of the hunt.”

“... right,” said Danny.  “But, like, is there a… kitchen?”

“Kitchen?” asked Ember, blankly.  

“We don’t,” said Skulker.  

“We mostly order out, when the great hunter here can’t catch anything!”

“Can anyone… get in to order out?”

Ember, Skulker, and Technus stared at each other.  

“Crap,” said Ember, finally.  “Crap.”

“What?” said Technus.  “It’s not like we have to eat.”

“I kind of do.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do.  Everyone else has been feeding me.”

“Yeah, no, we’re ghosts, even you,” said Technus.  “We don’t need to eat.”

“I can kill off some of the game I’ve already caught,” said Skulker, “if we really need to.  I’d like you to hunt for them, though.  A little extra incentive!”

“Right.  Sure.  Whatever.  Bedroom?” asked Danny.

“We don’t need to sleep, either,” said Technus.  

Fine.  Danny wasn’t touching that.  “Bathroom?” he tried.

“Gross,” said Ember.  “Who’s spending their afterlife peeing?”

“Uh.  Me?”

“Ew.  You’ve got to quit that.”

Danny didn’t think that was a thing he could actually quit.  He made a face.  “You’re not actually my parents, are you?”

“Of course we are,” said Skulker, mechanically.  

“Okay, well, that right there, that’s a lie,” said Danny.  “That’s definitely a lie.”

“It’s not,” said Technus, stridently. 

“Look, maybe some fighting would knock him out of his funk,” said Skulker.  “Knock him right out.”

“Yeah, some of that misplaced aggression kind of thing he’s always on about,” said Ember.  

Danny had no idea what he was talking about.  “You guys do know that if I can’t have a place to go to the bathroom, I’m going to leave, right?”

“Maybe even a good hunt,” said Skulker.  “For old times’ sake.  Give him a good chase, get rid of some of that anxiety.”

Danny really hoped he wasn’t related to these three.  He grabbed the pocketwatch.  

“Wait, ghost child!” 

“Okay, yeah, that’s not something you call your kids,” said Danny, pointing at Technus.  

“Oh, yeah, yeah, you caught us,” said Technus.  “Real sharp of you, ghost child!  Real sharp and groovy.”

“Oh my god, you don’t know what any of those words mean,” said Ember.  “Stop using them.”

“BUT!” shrieked Technus.  “What you don’t know is that we’re your RIVALS!”

Danny grimaced.  “What?”

“We fought you, like, a bunch of times,” said Ember. 

“And… now you want to adopt me?”

“Better us than some of the nutjobs that want you.  We’d just let you do your own thing, hang out, fight a bit when you get touchy about your stupid city, or too wound up about school, all that stuff.”

“But we’d NEVER make you go to SCHOOL!” said Technus.  “I could teach you in the lab!”

“Wow, that’s, uh.  Touching,” said Danny.  “But the bathroom thing is, in this case, a dealbreaker.”

“Aw, come on,” said Ember.  “At least have a good fight with us, first.  Skulker’s been practically moping since you’ve been out of commission.”

“My latest hunts have been… flavorless,” said Skulker.  Danny sighed.  “Fine.  But I’m going right after.”

[recreationalfanfics]

Lab Rats x Twisted Wonderland Incorrect Quotes (these are all from the Lab Rats show)

Adam Davenport! Reader:

Crowley, after the overblots started happening: The reason I built Night Raven College was to teach you to control your magic. And I couldn't even do that...I feel like I failed you.

Adam! Y/n: Well, I'm glad someone said it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Azul, after Adam! Y/n came back from the underwater museum without the potion: How did you survive so long without oxygen?

Adam! Y/n: By breathing underwater!😃

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ace, when Malleus and Sebek walk by: Look out guys. The weather just got partly creepy with a 100% chance of annoying.

Adam! Y/n: Am I gunna need my umbrella for that?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Overblot Character: and how would you like your lives TO END?!

Adam! Y/n: Livin' on Mars. Then I accidentally take off my helmet.

Chase Davenport! Reader:

Chase! Y/n, dealing with their first overblot: Everyone just stay calm. We can't afford to panic.

Deuce: We are calm.

Chase! Y/n: WELL YOU SHOULDN'T BE, WE'RE IN CRISIS!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chase!Y/n: We should just tell Professor Crewel.

Ace: Yeah, we tell Crewel and get it over with!

Chase! Y/n: ARE YOU CRAZY, WE CAN'T TELL CREWEL.

Deuce: IT WAS YOUR IDEA!

Chase! Y/n: WHAT, SO NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME!?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chase! Y/n: What if Epel isn't able to make it!? What if he gets caught in a traffic jam!?

Jack: On a broomstick?

Chase! Y/n: There could be birds!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chase! Y/n, after going into Commando Mode and beating up Floyd: Commando App disengaged!? Guys, why was I in Commando mode!?

Ace: Where you in Commando mode?

Deuce: I didn't see a commando mode!

Grim: OOH, that's good! Everyone, keep lying!

Bree Davenport! Reader:

Bree! Y/n, after they catch a basketball: What do I do with this!?

Ace: Throw it!

Bree! Y/n: *throws it at Jamil who didn't notice and knocks him out*

Ace: TO SOMEONE WHOSE LOOKING.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Crowley: And what do you have to say for yourself, Davenport?

Bree! Y/n: That boys are easily manipulated when their masculinity is threatened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bree! Y/n, after Ace tries to get them to prank Riddle: Sorry, its not in my nature to be stupid and immature.

Ace: Good thing it's mine!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trey: I'm baking these tarts for Riddle's mom. If we do everything right, we might just be able to get on her good side!

Bree! Y/n: The woman has many sides. None of them are good.

[chromaticcrazyass]

TMNT: The Blood That Binds Us

The premise: I've hybridized 2012, Rise, and Bayverse by taking aspects from each to create my own unique story and spin on TMNT. Modified designs, a unique storyline, and new explorations of character development, I really wanted to break the formula and use different familiar elements in new ways.

This AU is not tied to any one specific TMNT media or canon, and exists as it's own narrative with it's own story to tell and portrayal of the turtles, while still being mindful of the general "canon" (key qualities that are broadly identifiable, such as Donnie being the smart one or Splinter being a ninja master. How these key aspects are approached varies between TMNT mediums but the core concept/character trait is still there. That is to say, you won't find anything that would come across as excessively OOC, any sort of personal projections onto the characters, or serious divergence from what we are familiar with in the general TMNT sphere. I.e. Baxter Stockman being a ballerina. That wouldn't make much sense now would it). Instead I will be approaching these characters and their world with a unique twist and applying those core concepts in new ways.

Info Below!

Overview/AU Notes

The lair and designs of the turtles are from bayverse. The turtle's outfits, however, are more modernized/cleaner and show off more of their individual personalities.

Changed up the personalities. Leo is more like his 2012 incarnation, Raph's more like his 2012 incarnation, Donnie has Rise's sass level and witty confidence, and Mikey is no longer a pervert and isn't completely stupid (golden potential child go brrrr), rather just an adhd cinnamon roll.

Splinter is more like his 2012 incarnation

Donnie's tech is more on the caliber of his Rise incarnation (I heavily took inspiration from Tron: Legacy for his tech lol)

April is designed and is more like her Rise incarnation

Casey is designed and is more like his Rise incarnation

Splinter's backstory has been altered. He is still a human who became a rat and is a member of the Hamato clan.

Karai is designed more like her 2012 version, and is Splinter's daughter

Shredder and Splinter have very personal beef

Shredder is designed more like a traditional samurai with modernizations to his armor, and retains the iconic helmet

April is 23, Mikey is 19, Donnie and Leo are 20, Raph is 21, Casey is 22

Yes I'm putting my own self-insert in but I'll also accept others as well :)

The krang have the same intimidation and power level they did in Rise

Proper yokai will make an appearance and the turtles often get referred to as Kappa by them

No mystic powers, sorry

Baxter Stockman is more like a mad scientist and more of a threat. He will have a bigger role in the plot and beef with Donnie especially.

Baxter Stockman created the turtles during an experiment, along with the ooze.

All of the turtles will get character-specific upgrades at some point through various plot-relevant means.

Raph and leo drama lol

Points of tension/general plot:

Donnie infiltrating Baxter Stockman's lab to try and track down Mikey, and he uncovers a mysterious purple ooze that's causing strange mutations around New York, only to be face to face with his creator, who wants to capture and experiment on him, as Baxter sees Donnie's intelligence and technological genius as him being "superior" to his siblings (a fist from Raph is gonna shut that up SO fast lmao) and Donnie will uncover the horrors of the full extent of Baxter's mutagen experiments. Some real psychological and body horror shit.

Raph goes on a mission to hunt down Shredder and the foot as the Night Watcher (basically Batman). However his use of force is brutal and Leo has to go and intervene. Raph is doing all of this under the belief that if they find Shredder, they'll find Mikey, who's gone missing. Leo and Raph have a pretty serious 1v1 and almost kill each other. Leo wants to find Mikey too but thinks that hunting down Shredder alone is foolish. Raph is getting desperate and just wants his brother back.

Mikey is currently trapped in Baxter's lab with several other mutants, one of which being me, who were deemed the "successful" batch created from a blue purified strain of the purple ooze. Mikey is currently trying to free everyone and rally them together to fight back against Baxter's droids, made from Krang tech, promising that his brothers will come save them. Meanwhile he's been trying to figure a way out himself.

Casey has been helping Raph on the sidelines and providing intel on the foot and Shredder, meanwhile April has been studying under Splinter to become a skilled martial artist in the hopes of tracking down Karai, and explaining who her real father is.

Shredder has already been defeated once in this storyline, when the turtles were around 15. This is during a period where they aren't sure if he's still alive and the foot has rumors of his return. Meanwhile Baxter Stockman and TCRI have taken the spotlight as the new threat to the turtles and New York.

[theramblingsofadork]

There’s a sweet moment in the AU where Starline has to carry Hex to his and Lug’s shared room in the dorms when he falls asleep in the lab while helping him.

The two have a small heart to heart, and it’s about this time that Starline begin to slowly realize he’s getting attached to the group.

— Short Fanfic - A Heart to Heart 📙

🎵 Accompanying Theme: Spirited Away - The Sixth Station

Lug answered the knock on his door, wondering who could be coming by so late, and found himself rather surprised and confused to see Starline standing on the other side of it.

As if to answer his unspoken question, the platypus looked down to the small purple rat in his arms before holding him out to him. “I believe… this is yours.”

Lug’s tense expression immediately softened in understanding, and he sighed, letting Starline transfer Hex over to him. “Ah… so the little man fell asleep in the lab, huh? Hah. I told him not to stay up past his bedtime. But would he listen to me? Noooo.”

Starline chuckled, smiling as he observed the sleeping child now nestled against the safety his friend’s broad chest. He looked downright tiny in comparison. “Yes, well… he certainly tried his best.”

Lug laughed softly—quite a stark contrast to his usual loud self—and gazed down at his rat friend warmly. “You uh, you should’a heard him earlier today, doc. Goin’ on and on about how he just HAD to stay up so he could help ‘the great Dr. Starline’ finish his power coupler—dozzamahicky thing, and all that. Couldn’t talk him outta it for nothing, even though the kid and I both know he can hardly keep his eyes open past 10.”

Starline could sense there was a gravity to his words as the bulldog lifted his gaze to meet his. It was intimidating due to his size, and Starline had to resist the instinctive urge to step back.

“Y’know, he uh, he looks up to you a lot, doc...”

Starline recalled Hex’s heightened attentiveness around him; following him around like a little shadow, jotting down notes and absorbing anything and everything he had to teach him with earnest regard… It made him smile and hum.

“Yes, well, I must admit that he’s been a rather excellent student. Always so eager and willing to listen and learn.”

Lug let out quiet, amused snort of agreement. “Yeah, that sounds like Hex all right...”

He then winced and grew more serious. “Look— doc, I’m just gonna come right out and say it: Whether I like it or not, Hex really looks up to you. And I sure as heck can’t teach him all that techno mumbo jumbo stuff that you can. You’re like… a hero to him, so just.. do me a favor and try not to hurt him, would you? I know you’re a fancy shmancy scientist with a PHD in… physics or something—“

“Robotics and biology—“ Starline couldn’t help but correct him.

“—but I’d hate to see him get hurt just cuz he can’t live up to your expectations.” The bulldog frowned. “What you say and think means the world to him. Especially.. since you’re the first person besides me to actually see his worth.”

Starline blinked, feeling his smile fade a bit.

That’s true. Hex had mentioned before that both his parents and his teachers thought he was delusional. That his dreams were impossible and unattainable, and ‘he was too young to make a difference’. That ‘no academy would ever take him because he ‘was living in a fairytale’.

It had infuriated Starline when he first heard about it, especially since Hex was practically oozing with potential. He was merely just a rock that needed to be cut and polished in order to become a shining gem.

It was part of the reason he had decided to take him under his wing. Why he hadn’t tossed them to the side after the first week of the competition.

But.. even so.. Starline felt his chest twist in discomfort as he remembered his plan to betray them at the end of the competition. To claim the stage and announce his undying loyalty and allegiance to Eggman.

By going through with it, he would be doing exactly what Lug was asking him not to.

“He looks up to you. Try not to hurt him, would you?”

Lug seemed to notice Starline’s long pause and tilted his head. “Uh, hello? Doc? Did you hear me?“

Starline came back to reality and exhaled a breath through his nose as he nodded. “…I did, Lug. And while I understand your concern, there is no need for it. Hex is more than capable of anything I set him up to do. However, I will… do my best to try and keep your request in mind.”

Lug sighed, and his shoulders dropped in relief. “Thanks.”

…He then squinted as his one functioning braincell tried to figure out if that was the response he wanted or not. “…I think.”

Starline decided not to clarify, but gave him a small smile as he turned on his heel to leave. "…Good night, Lug."

"Right. Night.” Lug withdrew back into the room, and the door closed shut again.

Alone once more, Starline observed the back of the door for a moment longer before he let his smile fully fall and headed off in the direction of his own room.

His footsteps were unusually loud against the floor, sounding like the steady clack of a ticking clock, counting down the seconds to the completion’s end.

His hero.. Hex really regarded him the same way a young Starline had once regarded Eggman, huh…?

His words had merely been said to placate Lug, but the bulldog’s genuine insistence almost made Starline feel like he had a small bit of responsibility to hold true to those words…

The platypus start as soon as he realized that, and he quickly shook his head and hastened his steps to push the thoughts away.

Gaia… was he out of his mind? There was no way in the universe he could even think of giving up on his plan now! Not when he was well on his way on the road to victory!

But… Even so…

He supposed it couldn’t… hurt to look for alternative solutions.

[sp0o0kylights]

number 6 is straight up gamer bait and I am 100 percent taking said bait!

6! Steve Harrington was raised on games.

This is a not-quite The Inheritance Games AU, but I wanted a similar premise with Steve's entire family being very cloak and dagger, old money game-focused rich dicks--with the slowly unveiling twist that they've been involved with the Hawkins Lab the whole time.

Snippet:

"You know better than to interrupt game night--" Steve started, attention on the game he'd abandoned rather than the door.

"Steve." Dustin pleaded, hair drenched from the rain and looking all too like a drowned rat, a vice like grip on Eddie's arm as the other shook behind him. "I need you."

That got his attention.

Steve's eyes swept form him to Munson, taking in the others vacant, shocked stare.

Knew immediately that the Upside Down was at it again.

"Get in here." He commanded, backing away from the door as Dustin huddled Eddie inside. "and start talking."

He closed the door behind him, before beelining for the kitchen table, where he'd been bent over his cousins ridiculous puzzle.

"We have a code red." Dustin said, right as Steve's eye caught the addition his grandfather had added.

It spelled out Owens full name.

'Dammit.' He thought, but moved to get towels anyway.

A code red took precedent over whatever meddling his family was doing--even if it was looking more and more related to the Hawkins lab.

[anyon-else]

Of Humble Origins and Born of the Cursed Sex (The Red Room pt.12) | After seven months, Kakashi and Naruto finally find you in an abandoned HYDRA outpost. However, you're not the same person that they remember. (Marvel AU) – spotify playlist | read on ao3

Pairings | Kakashi Hatake x Black Widow!Reader + Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Ino Yamanaka, Orochimaru, Kabuto Yakushi

Warnings | female!reader, ANGST, brainwashing, torture, electrification, violence, weapons

Word count | 6.7k

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"I am someone who did not die when I should have died."

Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides

Six months ago

My girls will change the world.

You're useless to me now.

Be proud to call yourself a Black Widow.

You're even useless as a lab rat.

You will build me an empire.

Killing you now would be too merciful.

I'll teach you how to kill. I'll teach you everything I know.

I'll teach you how to be human.

I will take care of you until you're no longer of use to me.

I can protect you both.

Don't fail me.

Don't do this.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi," you whispered, reaching out into a sea of memories and grasping at nothing but water that spilled between your fingers. Each of your memories felt impossibly far, and all you could do was watch helplessly as they fell away into a vast emptiness that was quickly consuming your mind. You saw flashes of pink and yellow and grey. You pictured smiles that appeared on ghosts and heard familiar laughter that echoed within your thoughts. You felt taunted by it.

But you were tired. Far too tired to do anything but watch as each of your most precious memories fell into oblivion. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I failed. I'm sorry."

Your mouth was moving without your permission, repeating words that you hoped would bring an end to the pain. Words that would make a difference if they were the ones he wanted to hear.

But he didn’t want apologies. He wanted submission.

He leaned over you, silver hair reflecting the light shining down on you. His eyes were harder than steel and his mouth was twisted into a grimace that you could clearly see through the thin black cloth of his mask. The expression looked wrong on him, and for a moment you remembered that this wasn't the true face of the man standing above you. It was a trick. Orochimaru...this was Orochimaru. He was tricking you—trying to confuse you. Kakashi wasn't here. He wasn't hurting you—he wouldn’t hurt you

But the thought slipped away as quickly as it had come, and after another shock of electricity made your limbs seize and your back arch against the unforgiving steel below you, it was Kakashi's face that you saw staring down at you.

You knew Kakashi. You held onto his memory like a vice. But as each day passed, you wondered why you were clinging so tightly to the memory of someone who was so cruel towards you.

It was his face you saw each time you felt that aching, raging pain in your head. It was his eyes that watched as the pain spread throughout the rest of your body. It was his smile that you stared at each day as hope drained from your limbs and left you a lifeless husk of a Widow.

Kakashi had betrayed you. And as each day passed with no respite or relief, you felt that betrayal turn into rage. Rage at the world. Rage at HYDRA.

Rage at Kakashi.

"Please..."

I'll teach you how to be human.

"Useless," Kakashi muttered, repeating the word that you'd heard countless times since this began and feeling it like a knife in your chest. The pain wouldn't stop. Not if you kept failing.

But he wouldn't tell you what he wanted. You would do anything he asked if he would only make this pain go away.

I can protect you.

"Again."

Electricity flooded you once more, and the silver hair taking up your field of vision blurred behind a blanket of tears.

You're not a lost cause

Words that you barely remembered now had been your anchor for so long, but you were starting to wonder why you were holding on so tightly. Maybe letting them slip through your fingers would be easier.

As the memories that you once considered the most precious ones you possessed floated into an abyss within your mind, you wondered why you had ever tried to hold onto them in the first place.

Don't do this.

Cold fingers gripped your face, and you looked at Kakashi's cruel eyes staring down at you. His fingers tightened on your cheeks

"Let me go," you mumbled, feeling a cold shock of fear as you looked into the steely face of your tormentor, "don't touch me."

Behind his mask, Kakashi's lips split into a grin, and you pressed yourself against the metal beneath you in an attempt to put distance between his unrelating grip and your face. His nails dug into your exposed skin, and you felt blood bloom through the cuts that formed as he gripped your face tighter and tighter.

Pain erupted in your chest once again. You closed your eyes and reached for an anchor and found nothing but darkness.

You wondered why you felt as if something was missing. You wondered why looking at Kakashi’s face above you each time the pain stopped felt so wrong.

But wondering was becoming exhausting. Instead of pondering on the answers, you let the questions slip far, far away.

Kakashi's circumstances had given him ample experience with suppressing his emotions.

It wasn't a skill he'd gained willingly. After so much loss and death, shutting out emotional responses to crises was almost instinctual. He felt that same instinct creeping towards him as he watched his bullet sliced through the air in near slow motion.

You didn't move. For a moment, he wondered if the world had frozen around him. Maybe it would give him a second chance and allow him to reach Naruto before the boy even found you.

Instead, the bullet continued on its path towards your hand, which moved only slightly, but not quick enough to be out of range. The movement gave Naruto enough time to dive to the ground, but neither he nor you had to worry about where the bullet would end up.

It hit the wrong target, lodging into the shoulder of a new figure that shot out in front of you.

Despite the force of the bullet entering her shoulder, Ino stood in front of you like a steel wall, blocking you from Kakashi's field of vision. Kakashi took in a deep, barely controlled breath and tried not to let his relief show on his face.

You and Ino both watched as Naruto scrambled to his feet and rushed towards Kakashi. The boy moved as fast as he could while running backwards and keeping his eyes locked on Ino and the gun that she was prying from your iron-tight grip.

Ino groaned, clutching her bleeding shoulder but remaining still and sturdy in front of you. Kakashi strained to get a glimpse of your face; any hint as to what you were thinking would satisfy him, but Ino let out a snarl when she realized what he was doing.

"You're so stupid," she growled, "why would you do that?"

Kakashi opened his mouth to respond—to tell her that you were very clearly bracing yourself to pull the trigger and kill Naruto, but the words got lodged in his throat when he heard a pained grunt come from behind the blonde girl's rigid body. Ino froze, attention shifting away from Kakashi immediately as she turned towards the source of the sound. The movement gave Kakashi enough of a glimpse to understand what had happened.

The bullet's trajectory had shifted. What was originally intended to hit your hand had changed its course through Ino's shoulder and ended up lodged in your chest.

"Ino," you muttered, emotionless and robotic. Ino cursed, removing her hands from her shoulder and letting them hover over your bloody shirt. Even from a distance, Kakashi could see that her fingers were beginning to tremble, "sorry, Ino. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, idiot," Ino shook her head, though the words were muttered with little malice. Instead, Kakashi saw deep concern in Ino's furrowed brows and the gentle movement of her hands. She tore away your shirt to reveal your bloody hand covering the wound, both it and your chest already coated with blood.

Deja vu tore into Kakashi like a knife in his stomach, ripping away at him and punishing him for all of the people he had hurt. The seeds of sorrow and guilt that had taken root when he couldn't stop you from leaving began to climb between his ribs and up his throat. The vines and leaves choked him and the thorns slied him open from the inside and he had to fight to keep himself steady.

You looked completely void of any emotion. Like the body he was seeing was simply a vessel, and you were somewhere deep inside of it, protecting yourself from the rest of the world and allowing your limbs to move on autopilot.

"Hey," Ino snapped, glaring your bloody fingers and scowling at the lack of response she got. "Stop it. You're only going to make it worse."

Kakashi could see blood oozing between your fingers in a dark red stream. It took a few moments for him to realize why Ino was chastising you—you had begun digging your fingers into the broken flesh, and blood was gushing from the wound faster than Ino could manage.

She pried your tense fingers away from where they were clutching your bleeding chest, finally giving her a good view of the damage that the bullet had done.

Kakashi hoped that it looked worse than it actually was.

He saw Naruto flinch from the corner of his eye, and he could practically feel the anger radiating off of the boy.

"What is this?" Naruto rumbled, hands curled into fists at his sides as he stared at you and Ino, "what happened?"

Kakashi shook his head, watching helplessly as Ino lifted your shirt over your head and pressed it firmly against your chest. You raised a hand automatically to hold the bloody cloth to your wound, eyes still clouded and distant.

"I can't believe this," Ino was grumbling, shaking her head like a disappointed parent as she stood and wrapped her own shirt around her shoulder to try and stop her bleeding. Within a few moments, she was kneeling at your side again. "I spend all this time trying to convince her that—hey, hey! Stay with me."

Your head was lolling to the side, and Ino's stoic expression finally broke. Fear etched across her features as her frown deepened, eyes widening each time you almost lost consciousness.

"Shit," Ino snapped, tapping your cheek and cursing again when she got no response. Kakashi stepped forward, finally allowing himself to close the gap between you. "You have a hospital, right?"

Kakashi nodded.

"Good. We're going there."

Kakashi swallowed thickly, wide eyes watching you try not to pass out as Ino gently coached you. He could still feel Naruto at his back, silently seething at the state they'd found you in.

It had been so long. So long since he'd seen you. Since he'd even known whether you were alive.

He watched the rise and fall of your chest intently, counting your shallow breaths and holding his own after each of your unsteady exhales, afraid that you would stop moving altogether the second he looked away.

He had done this to you. If you didn't wake up, it wouldn't be because of Orochimaru or HYDRA or any other threats that he desperately wanted you to be free from.

It would be his fault. His hands that ended your life.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said lowly, voice sounding far away in Kakashi's distraction, "we found her."

Kakashi froze, eyes on his student as he radiated silent, tense anger. That was anger for you. Naruto didn't fear you anymore—not like he did the first time you met. Now he knew your heart, and he knew that this was not the same person who had left to protect them all. Something had happened, and it was obvious that they were missing crucial pieces of the past six months.

But through the worry and the questions and the endless guilt that plagued him, one thought brought Kakashi enough relief to get him moving towards the jet.

Finally.

Sasuke could tell that something was off even before he entered the conference room with Sakura.

Kakashi had told them nothing about how he and Naruto's mission had gone. In fact, Sasuke hadn't seen either of them in the hours since they'd returned. All he and Sakura knew was that it hadn't gone as planned, that neither of them were hurt, and that Sasuke and Sakura needed to wait a few hours before they could hear about it.

The waiting gave Sasuke a lot of time to wonder what could have happened on such a routine mission to cause this kind of delay.

"Do you think...maybe they found–"

"Don't," Sakura held a hand up. The two were standing in front of the closed conference room door listening to the muffled voices coming from inside. Sasuke heard Kakashi's voice, low and monotone, and he steeled himself for a worst case scenario.

Missions like this never went wrong. He honestly felt that calling it a mission was too generous. It was more of a training exercise to get Naruto more familiar with field work that didn't involve fighting. Naruto was talented—something that had only recently gotten easier for Sasuke to admit—but stealth wasn't exactly his strongest trait. That was why Kakashi chose an abandoned HYDRA outpost—to give Naruto some low-intensity field training.

Sasuke had looked into location himself. It was used for research in the eighties, but it was abandoned only a decade after it was built because of a data leak and subsequent raid by SHIELD. It was the perfect place to teach Naruto the finer points of stealth missions.

So, taking all of that into account, Sasuke was having a hard time understanding what had gone wrong.

"You two can come in," Kakashi said, voice muffled through the door. He sounded exhausted.

Sakura didn't hesitate to push the door open, but she stopped the second she got a good look at the room.

Sasuke immediately tensed when he saw a stranger sitting casually across from Kakashi and Naruto. She didn't look hostile, but Sasuke knew from experience how deceiving looks could be.

But judging from Sakura's expression, she knew who this woman was.

"Ino?" Sakura croaked, taking a small step forward before thinking better of it and waiting where she had easy access to the doorway, "what....what are you doing here?"

"Sakura," the stranger—Ino—said with a nod and poorly hidden relief.

Sasuke could immediately tell how much Ino was hiding from Sakura.

"It has...I can't believe—I mean, you're here. How...not that I'm not happy to see you, but I–"

Ino stood when Sakura began rambling out questions, and by the time she had begun asking the third, Ino had wrapped her arms around the girl and pulled her into a tight hug. Sasuke tensed, but Kakashi shot him a sharp look that told him not to interfere.

Ino grunted when Sakura lifted her arms to reciprocate the affection, masking her pained expression with a smile. Sakura backed away and narrowed her eyes, giving Ino a long look before her eyes shifted to Ino's shoulder.

"What happened?"

"It's nothing to worry about," Ino shook her head, sitting back down across from Kakashi and rolling her shoulder back, "there are other things that we need to talk about first."

Sakura was spiraling. Sasuke could see how overwhelmed she was without even seeing her face, and he stepped beside her.

"What's this about, Kakashi-sensei?"

"You should both sit down."

"Who is that?"

"Sasuke, now's not the time–"

"We found Y/N!"

Silence fell over the room. Kakashi deflated, running a hand over his face and confirming Naruto's statement with a small nod.

Sasuke swallowed. His throat felt like sandpaper. He fought the urge to turn to Sakura.

It had been seven months. Seven months since they'd gotten any answers. Any hint of what had happened to you.

"Where?" Sakura asked, leaning forward with her hands on the table and her wide eyes trained on Ino. "Where is she?"

"She's in the infirmary, but–"

Sakura was already moving, one hand on the door handle by the time Kakashi and Ino reached her. Kakashi grabbed her arm to halt her movements while Ino kicked a heel in front of the opening door, forcing Sakura to still.

"You can't see her right now."

"Why not?" Sakura asked, deathly calm and steadier than Sasuke felt. However, upon closer inspection, Sasuke saw that she looked moments away from losing her composure. Sasuke chanced a glance at Naruto, but his friend just stared at Sakura, devastation clear in is expression.

"I'll explain why," Ino said pointedly, glancing between Sakura and an empty chair next to Kakashi, "but you need to calm down and listen."

Sakura was practically shaking, hands balled into fists and trembling like she was seconds away from punching through a wall to get past Ino. Sasuke was not unconvinced that she could manage it.

"Sit down, Sakura," Ino ordered, finally getting the girl to back into the chair that Kakashi was pulling out for her.

"I guess there's no point in trying to hide things now, "Ino swallowed. "I've been working for Orochimaru since he left HYDRA."

Sasuke only knew about Ino from Kakashi's explanation of what had happened on your mission. He had no reason to trust her, and he certainly wasn't going to start after hearing this.

Kakashi had likely accounted for that when he placed Sasuke next to Naruto. He had his hands on Sasuke's shoulders before he could even stand to leap for Ino. Sasuke was shoved back into his seat and given a hard pat on the shoulder. He stayed pinned there by Kakashi's glare and Sakura's shockingly unfazed expression.

"I shot Y/N under HYDRA's orders, but if I hadn't been working for him, I would've killed her. HYDRA wanted her dead. It was Orochimaru who told me to keep her alive."

"Why?" Sakura choked, "Ino, what happened?"

"I told her that the bullet I shot her with was poisoned, and that the syringe I gave her contained an antidote, but that was a lie. The 'antidote' was actually a tracker. That's how Orochimaru knew where Kakashi's house was."

Kakashi had apparently not been informed of that fact yet, and this time it was Sakura holding him in place. She was squeezing it far too tightly for it to possibly be comforting, but shockingly, she looked like the calmest one in the room.

Perhaps she understood Ino's actions better than they ever could. Sasuke wondered if she would've done the same if their positions had been reversed.

"Orochimaru's experiments were all too flawed to be applicable to actual field He could speak and act through them because he was connected directly to their minds, but his control slipped easily, and there was always a point where the subjects essentially became robotic. Orochimaru gave them a command and they carried it out, but they were sloppy. Their performance declined, and trying to give them complex orders was very taxing on Orocihimaru.

"And because he wasn't producing results that would be viable in the field, HYDRA decided that they would only continue to fund his projects if he applied the Winter Soldier program's memory suppressing machine to his experiments. It had already yielded results, and while it wasn't exactly what Orochimaru was working towards, they saw it as a fair compromise. Orochimaru did not.

"He continued the experiments without taking HYDRA's input into consideration. Then he kidnapped Sakura. He thought it would give HYDRA an advantage over someone as important as Kakashi, but all it did was put an unnecessary target on HYDRA's back. But HYDRA only found out about her and his unauthorized experimentation when she and Y/N escaped. Those were his three strikes."

"I knew that Orochimaru had the capability to kill Sakura, so I approached him and offered my services in exchange for her safety. I didn't think..."

Ino looked thoroughly uncomfortable now. They were all vaguely aware of why Orochimaru was removed from the Red Room. None of this was exactly surprising.

It was what came next that was still a mystery.

"I want you all to know that this wasn't what I intended when I made the decisions that I did. But after I started working for Orochimaru, there was nothing I could do. He could've gone to HYDRA and told them that I was a traitor whenever he wanted. I...it was selfish, but–"

"It's okay, Ino," Sakura smiled, though it was obviously forced. She knew better than any of them that Orochimaru was not an easy man to defy, and on top of that HYDRA was a far more terrifying beast when one was put in the position of a double agent.

"He wanted Y/N because, aside from Sakura, she was the only Widow that HYDRA didn't control. He could get to her without having to go through them. He thought that if he brought them a Widow who could be controlled using the memory suppression machine, that they'd give him his position back.

"Wishful thinking," Sasuke muttered. Ino huffed.

"Well," Ino said, "you know as well as I do that Orochimaru is nothing if not stubborn. And he was desperate. Y/N was the only option he had left, and he deluded himself into thinking that anything he tried would be enough. He was also under the impression that the Red Room would fail without him."

"Would it?" Sasuke asked quietly

"No," Ino responded at the same time that Sakura scoffed, "it would do just fine."

"So why did he do all of this if he knew that they might not let him back?"

"Because he's delusional," Sakura answered immediately, "and he thinks he's a God."

"And he never imagined that they wouldn't let him back," Ino added, "but the machine didn't work on Y/N. At least, not in the way it does on the Winter Soldiers.

"The reason that the machine was used in the first place was because the recruits for the Winter Soldier program needed to become blank slates, completely susceptible to suggestion. In simple terms, it uses an outdated form of electrotherapy to wipe the memory of the subject. But Widows are very different. We're taught to be able to withstand torture at the age when normal kids would be learning addition. That was part of the reason why Orochimaru didn't want to use that method in the first place."

"So he knew it wouldn't work?" Naruto asked.

"He had a feeling. At the very least, he knew it wouldn't have the same effect as it does on someone without the Red Room's training. But he hoped that it would...well, for lack of a better word, he hoped it would reprogram her. He saw her as broken because she was able to resist the Red Room's conditioning and escape. He thought that the machine could be a way to bring her back to a state where she would be more susceptible to suggestion. That way he could show HYDRA that he was able to recondition an escaped Widow."

"But it didn't work?" Naruto whispered.

"No," Ino swallowed, "it didn't."

Ino glanced at Kakashi, a nervousness in her expression that made Sasuke uncomfortable. He wasn't sure how much more of this he wanted to hear.

This was the same man who held Sakura hostage for four years. This was the monster that haunted both your and her nightmares.

Sasuke felt his hatred like it was another entity inside of him. He greeted it like an old friend.

"For the first two months, he did the same thing every day. He used the machine, then Orochimaru would ask her questions. About her loyalty, about what she remembered. A lot of the questions centered around Kakashi. He acted like...Kakashi had somehow replaced him."

Sakura shook her head, hands clenched into fists on top of the table. Her hands were trembling with barely suppressed rage, and Sasuke knew that she would be in the gym releasing some of that anger on some poor punching bag after this meeting ended.

Maybe it would do him some good to join her.

"It wasn't pretty. But it also wasn't working. I tried to tell her that...that letting go of you both would make it easier. That it would make the pain stop. But it was like some part of her refused to give in. Even as her memories became scrambled, she still knew that you meant something to her.

"Orochimaru decided to change tactics after he saw how little progress he was making. He figured that, if he wanted her to let go of her sentiments and fully submit, he'd have to make her fear the person she refused to let go of. So he disguised himself as Kakashi and let her see his face each time they used the machine."

Sasuke thought back to the first time he'd seen you, long before he became close to you and certainly before he began trusting you. It was one of the first things he'd heard you say, and it was a warning to Sakura about this very circumstance.

"This is a trick. They’re trying to test our loyalty by showing you someone you trust. They’ve used it on me countless times. You may think you know this man, but you don’t."

"But if it didn't work...why doesn't she recognize me?"

Sasuke flinched. This wasn't fair. None of this was fair.

He wished more than anything that he'd killed Orochimaru when he'd had the chance. The man had been right in front of him the day you left, but he'd been too worried about Sakura to pay attention to anything else.

Guilt consumed him. He couldn't even bring himself to look at Sakura

She must hate you, a voice in the back of his mind whispered, you're no better than–

"Just because it didn't do what Orochimaru hoped doesn't mean it didn't have a significant effect. There's a lot missing from her memory, including any real memories she had with all of you after she escaped. The only reason she remembers Kakashi at all is because she thinks he tortured her."

Kakashi winced, eyes falling shut in the first outward display of emotion that Sasuke had seen from the man since Ino had started talking.

"By the time six months had passed, it was clear that the machine had done more harm than good. She became...a shell of herself. She was no good to Orochimaru if she couldn't hold her own in a fight, and after six months, Orochimaru had lost his leverage and knew that you were going to start searching for him. So he abandoned the experiment and left.

"The outpost you found us at was where Orochimaru was doing the experiment. He left her there and told me that he didn't need me anymore, so I stayed with her to make sure she didn't die. The first week...well, I'll spare you the details, but it wasn't pretty. I forced her to eat, but she didn't sleep for five days."

The silence in the room felt thick enough to choke on. Sasuke felt something within him snap at the sight of his teacher with his head in his hands.

"I tried to convince her that you aren't her enemy," Ino said slowly, looking at Kakashi. He slowly lifted his head to look at her, and Sasuke was alarmed to see that his eyes were glazed over, "but that kind of fear doesn't just go away. I thought I was making at least a bit of progress, and then..."

"Then I shot her," Kakashi murmured. Sasuke watched as far too many emotions crossed over Sakura's face in the few seconds before she turned to look at Kakashi. Anger, grief, understanding, devastation...he wasn't sure which she was going to land on when she finally acknowledged the man sitting next to her, but when she finally looked at him, her face was blank.

"What?" she whispered.

"I..." Kakashi repeated, "I'm sorry, Sakura. I thought she was going to kill Naruto, and I—"

Sakura puts a hand on the man's shoulder, silencing him. Her eyes were wide, moving back and forth as if she was trying to put together this endless puzzle that was becoming more complex by the minute.

"It's okay," she choked, "It'll be okay."

Sasuke knew that neither of them fully believed that.

Sleepless nights were nothing new to Kakashi.

It wasn't insomnia. At least, Kakashi wasn't exactly thrilled with that label. It was more of a choice. Recently, he found that he preferred being tired all day to facing the things that awaited him in his nightmares.

But tonight felt far heavier. He couldn't use Icha Icha to distract himself from the fact that the sun had risen before he had even closed his eyes, and he couldn't bring himself to lift his head from his hands for long enough to focus on anything other than the crushing weight of his guilt.

It's not your fault, Sakura's voice whispered in his head, it'll be okay.

Then he remembered your eyes, wide and terrified and directed at him.

It felt like someone had reached into his chest and crushed his heart in their hands.

It was happening again. He had done nothing but hurt the people he wanted to protect. He had failed Obito and Rin. He'd failed Sakura. And now he was failing you.

And you were within reach now. He could walk across the compound and see you in seconds if he wanted to. And he did want to. More than he thought he'd ever wanted anything.

But you were terrified of him. So terrified that the only thing he could picture when he closed his eyes was your expression when you'd looked at him for the first time in a year.

Some cruel, distant part of him wished that Orochimaru had still been with you when he found you. Just so he could've had the chance to tear the snake apart with his own hands.

It was that thought that encouraged him to leave the solitude of his room and seek a different type of loneliness in the common area. At least there, his thoughts wouldn't be echoing off of the walls of his bedroom.

He glanced down the hall to the room where you were still recovering, sedated and restrained until he could decide how to even begin helping you recover. It was dark save for a dim glow lighting the path for people like him who decided to take late night strolls through the compound. He was quick to walk away from the temptation of visiting you, fighting the strong urge to see for himself that you were safe.

But that would likely lead to more harm than good. Ino kept telling him that you were physically fine and to stop worrying so much, but that felt like an unreasonable thing to ask of him.

What finally broke him out of his spiraling thoughts was a small, almost inaudible gasp that came from the direction of the kitchen.

He would've heard it if Naruto, Sasuke, or Sakura had left their rooms earlier in the night, and Ino was staying in the room across from Sakura's.

His head turned far slower than it would have if he hadn't already put the pieces together.

There was only one other person who had stayed at the compound over night.

You were frozen against the far wall of the kitchen like Kakashi had backed you into it, but you looked anything but frightened. Instead of the shocked, terrified expression that he'd seen before, all he saw now was steely determination.

Then you were on top of him, one hand gripping his wrists above his head while the other reached for something in your back pocket. You put a knee on his stomach to keep him pinned, but he was able to throw you off with a twist of his hips.

This barely phased you, and you were ruthless as you jumped at him again. You kicked at his shins to try and knock him off balance, but he jumped over the attack and dodged the kitchen knife that you were hurtling at him when his feet were back on the ground.

"Does this," Kakashi panted when you landed a jab to his throat, halting his words and his breath for a few moments, "feel familiar at all?"

Your answering snarl felt like a resounding no, so Kakashi kept his defenses up while wondering whether this would end with him incapacitated. He could've called for help from his students—should've, in fact—but he found himself staying silent when the thought crossed his mind.

You didn't show him any mercy, and he realized with a slight feeling of discomfort that you'd been holding back against him when you sparred before. And now, even injured, you had the upper hand. You must've trained extensively in fighting through pain like this—it seemed like something Orochimaru would make you do.

He was beginning to understand why the Widows were so terrifying.

He was also starting to realize you might actually kill him.

Call for help, his mind shouted at him, stop this before she kills you!

But his lips stayed sealed shut.

As far as skill went, you and Kakashi were fairly evenly matched. What gave you the edge over him now was probably pure terror and rage.

Your kicks were something lethal—especially the one you delivered to his stomach, knocking him off balance and landing him on his back.

You didn't waste any time pinning him down again and raising the knife above your head with one hand. The other fell to his throat and squeezed, unrelenting.

"You won't hurt me anymore," you muttered. "I'm going to kill you."

He gasped, choking on air that refused to flow into his lungs. You tightened your hold when you heard the sound, baring your teeth and raising the knife higher.

And higher. And higher.

Then it stopped.

Kakashi felt as if years were passing as he waited for you to kill him. His vision was becoming spotty, and he wondered if he preferred dying before or after he was unconscious.

His students would be well taken care of. He and Guy had given extensive thought to what would happen if either of them could no longer take care of their charges. And, all things considered, Guy was likely a better influence than he was.

He thought of you and hoped that you'd forget him completely. He didn't want you to feel guilty for this.

Each thought crossed his mind, one after another, and still the knife was raised high above your head.

He was so focused on the sharp blade pointed at his neck that it felt like a shock of lightening when a tear landed on his cheek. He thought he'd imagined it until another landed on his lip, and a third on his nose.

Then he looked at you.

Your mouth was set in a hard line, but your face was streaked with fresh tears that continued to fall on him. The knife raised above him was shaking, and your eyes were focused on the hand that you had wrapped around his throat.

Your grip loosened considerably, and he took in a gasping, aching breath.

"Your hand," you whispered, voice cracked and words practically crumbling from your lips like a falling building.

Your eyes were still on his throat. Your fingers were tense on his neck, and his hand was wrapped tightly around your wrist. He hadn't even realized he'd moved it in his desperation for air, but now he understood that it was his hand that you were staring at.

"It's...warm."

For seven months, your mind had been an echo-chamber.

You had a vague idea of the life you'd lived before you'd been strapped into that machine, but most of it felt like whispers from ghosts.

Familiarity redefined itself after you began losing your memories. It became the sudden, paralyzing feeling of electricity shocking you into painful submission. It became Kakashi Hatake's face hovering above you with hard, unforgiving eyes.

It became cold hands touching you. Kakashi's hands, always just as cold as the room you were trapped in.

Those were the familiarities that were trapped in your head. They were the only things that didn't slip away from you. Memories came and went in flashes of pink and yellow and blue. They came to you in kind words coming from a voice you didn't recognize and gentle touches from someone who's face you couldn't see, then fell between your fingers like sand the second you tried to wrap your arms around the memories and hold on as tight as possible.

Pain, cold, and Kakashi. Those were constants.

You grew to hate them. That hatred kept you sane.

It kept you alive.

Eventually, it was what you were forced to hold onto to keep you from slipping into a far-off world that promised protection and safety. You knew that place too well—you recognized it as a sanctuary that you'd been invited to before. But you rejected it, and some distant part of your mind told you that that was what you were supposed to do.

You'd been trained to reject weakness. And you'd rejected that quiet sanctuary in your mind many times before.

You fought hard to hold onto sanity, and your hatred acted as an anchor each time Kakashi's face appeared above you right before electricity ran rampant in your veins. You hated him. You hated him.

But as your tears landed on his face and you stared at the warm hand wrapped around your wrist, you felt your resolve falter. And when you looked in his eyes and saw that same warmth, it crumbled.

Kill him!

The words were rattling through your mind, stuck in an endless loop and trapped within the walls where only your rage existed. Nothing could get in and nothing could get out.

"Look at me."

The command was quiet, but there was force behind it. You found your eyes shifting up to meet his involuntarily, grip loosening on the knife in your hand.

He kept his hand on your wrist and lifted the other to your bicep. You stiffened, but waited until he had wrapped his hand around your arm and pressed his thumb against a scar that you'd forgotten was there.

"I stitched this," he said, shifting his thumb so that he could feel the ridges of the scar, "I was hoping it wouldn't scar as badly as it did. I didn't like seeing you hurt."

"Shut up," you snapped. Your head was aching. His hands were so warm. His eyes were kind.

The familiarity that you'd relied on to survive was gone. Pain had been replaced by gentle hands. Cold fingers were replaced by warm ones.

The only thing that remained was Kakashi, but...the man in front of you wasn't the same one you'd grown to hate. There was something different. His eyes, his hands, his voice...it was all different.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, choking on the words and letting his eyes fall shut. "I'm so sorry I let you go."

Your body was paralyzed. It wouldn't let you move your arm down to sink the knife into his chest. It kept you from ripping his hands off of you. It just kept you...frozen. Vulnerable. Weak

You hated it.

Your head was still pounding like a drumbeat, over and over until you wanted to curl into yourself and let your mind drift away.

"I never will again."

Kakashi's hand shifted away from your arm. It moved up, brushing your shoulder and grazing your jaw until it finally rested on your cheek. With a gentler touch than you'd thought was possible, he brushed a tear off of your skin. Your eyes were wide as he cupped your face in one hand. When he opened his eyes, they were soft and kind and clouded with tears.

They were warm.

Then, like a bullet shattering a sheet of glass, the echo-chamber within your mind shattered with one devastating feeling of familiarity.

You remembered this touch. You remembered this warmth.

The knife slipped from your hand and clattered to the floor.

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Author's note | FINALLY got this chapter out. thank you guys for waiting longer than usual, i started a study abroad program so the past few months have been very busy. because of that, i can't promise that i will keep to a regular updating schedule but i promise that i am still very invested in this fic and am still planning a sequel series!

this one gave me a run for my money, and it went through about four rewrites before i landed on how i wanted to write some of the scenes. overall though, i'm very happy with how it came out. i hope y'all like the changing perspectives, i literally don't know how to write any other way lmao

let me know what you guys think and please leave me some love if you enjoyed!

title is from "Brutus" by The Buttress

[joyswonderland1108]

Seriously Army?

So she's back home and she's ready to rant and give answers and let you rant with me cause what on earth?

Okay So Jimin had a schedule in Budapest, he left on the 16th which got fuckers panties in a twist because why oh why would Jimin go to the same country JK went to? Didn't you know Budapest is exclusive to JK and JK only? But fear not, a few hours later they were celebrating again because "Jimin will be away for GOLDEN Live on stage" Uhm okay.

Comes the 18th and Jimin is going back home, guess what?

Right.. Because how fucking dare Jimin goes back to his HOME COUNTRY WHERE HIS PLACE IS, HOW DARE HE? THAT VIXEN!! But yeah gotta love the dedication in manifesting Jimin's presence in JK's GOLDEN Live in stage performance. Anygays..

Damn if you do, damn if you don't. So they're unhappy that Jimin went to Budapest but they're also unhappy that he's going back home.. Exactly how do you make these people happy? We don't know, actually we do they absolutely despise Jimin's existence and the ideal for them is him staying 7 countries away from JK..

MOVING ON, comes d-day of the performance, Joon is there, absolutely adorable, in his whole hotness and cuteness, then someone mentions that apparently according to K-army Jimin was there, well.. False alarm that of course got deleted later (rightfully so) when they got the correct information. But that was enough to rile up that cult which led to this

(Stole this from jikookreports)

All that from a false alarm too, they didn't even wait for it to be confirmed or anything just the mention of Jimin there was enough to have them foaming at the mouth. Which then was followed by this

(Stole this from Keira on Twt)

Which ended up being complete bullshit but of course Army hyped it up took it as a fact despite it being unverified news and despite the fact that k-media has been bullshitting on many things before but before i continue.. Notice how none of Joon or Tae's presence in JK's event seem to bother people? Like yes, them being there means they love their maknae, their baby star candy and want to support him but Jimin being there means he's a leech and can't stay home for once. Lovely.

Moving on and this is the cherry on top, this dumb ass, this wet sock, this lab rat, posted this

Now if the previous post wasn't enough of a lie this uncultured twat decided to make up a whole ass au out of that previous lie and of fucking course 12.4K (now probably more) of "smart" Army ate that shit up.

Mind you this post is still up and OP thought it was funny to keep it up and add this

So not only homeboy Tae was busy today, as seen here

Joon also mentioned that other members, which logically would be Vmin, have a shoot today, which means both weren't there. But this motherfucker was proud about spreading misinformation DURING THE LIVE not even after but decided it was a good idea to post some bullshit before even the live ended so basically disrupting people's attention and creating some whack ass drama instead of focusing on the performance that JK worked hard for.

Now if you did watch the live you know that JK pointed to Joon and asked to give him the mic to give a lil speechy speech, so are you now insinuating that JK is a dick for not acknowledging Tae's presence and only acknowledging Joon? Literally nothing about that post is a cute joke, not the timing of it, not the obvious lie when my boy Tae wasn't even there, just.. How very inconsiderate do you have to be? If YOU don't care about the live then it's on YOU, keep your childishness to yourself and if you still wanna make sick jokes, out of respect, wait for that live to fucking end.

Some people are on the TL while watching the live to hopefully catch some live translations as those offered with the live can be a bit off for now, so having to scroll through your tl and then you come across this shit? I don't know why it is so normalized to hate on Jimin and to disrespect JK, exactly what did this fandom become? Is it that hard to appreciate these boys without creating so much drama, so much hate, so much chaos?

I'm seriously very disappointed, as always, in ARMY cause if that was coming from the cult only then it's nothing new but then again at this point, at this rate, is it even something new that ARMY are engaging in loads of fuckery? No.. Not at all really.

Grow the fuck up.