#LOOK AT LITTLE PUA!!

[devilsrecreation]

More TLG characters I created with piccrew (feat. @sweetheart-weeb-33 ‘s creation)

Kiburi

Neema (unnamed crocodile)

Pua

Shupavu (created by sweetheart-weeb-33)

I would do Makuu but I seriously CANNOT compete with the ones on DeviantArt

LIKE LOOK AT THESE:

Zactopus

YoungLadyArt

AND LOOK AT THIS VERSION OF KENGE

I COULD NEVER

[overclockedopossum]

I hope everyone understands that this is advice for an explicitly adversarial relationship. Both how to make the best of it if you're forced into one anyway, and how to create one.

There are occasions when that's the case, including some employment situations. It may be a way of dealing with people you have no choice about being around like teachers or family, and is certainly how you should deal with the likes of debt collectors or opposing counsel.

However, this is not describing a way to make nor retain friends. It is also not describing ethical behaviour - it is describing manipulative behaviour. Look in the comments of the original post and you find people who explicitly view manipulation as a positive.

It is true that the natural human instinct is to assume the best of people, and so you can choose to try and abuse that by not admitting to mistakes. But some people will be immediately wise to that. Others will realise it over time. Still others may not explicitly realise it, but will just go "oh they didn't explain" and consider that the problem. And besides, wouldn't you rather be around people who are understanding of honest mistakes? People who you don't have to feel that you're defrauding? Advice in favour of manipulative behaviour has a huge survivorship bias, with those it hurts dismissed as having done it wrong.

The fact is, being a people-pleaser is not a bad thing! At all! It's an extremely positive quality! It's only an issue when it's out of step with reality - that is, when the people you're trying to please are not receptive to being pleased with you regardless. Or if you're trying to please others by offering to do something you can't actually do.

Anyway, although the original post was updated to thank people for the comments, I couldn't find anywhere where OP commented on if they actually got the job.

For all my fellow oversharers out there.

[kyllium]

OP Incorrect Quotes I found funny (with reader)

Y/N: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free sake.

Zoro: Marry me.

—————

Sanji : Hey, what’s up?

Zoro: The sky.

Sanji : No, I meant like, what are you doing?

Zoro: Oh, Y/N.

Y/N: *highfives Zoro* Nice!

—————

Sanji : sapnu puaS.

Y/N: What??

Zoro: What language is that.

Sanji : Turn your phone 180 degrees.

*Sanji was removed from the groupchat*

—————

Zoro: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it?

Y/N: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?”

Sanji , scoffing: Oh, please.

Y/N, to Sanji : Hey, how you doin’?

Sanji :

Sanji : *giggles and blushes*

—————

Zoro: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Zoro: Sanji is still mad about it, but me and Y/N were drunk and thought it was funny.

—————

Y/N: I like your top, Sanji!

Zoro: I have a name, you know.

Sanji : *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

__________

Sanji : Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Y/N a little bit.

Zoro, holding Sanji 's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation.

Sanji : No, that's our joint tombstone.

Zoro: My mistake.

[fallen-gravity]

some thoughts on the moana 2 novelization, as threatened promised <3 under a readmore for spoilers and also because I don't trust myself to keep it short

(friendly reminder that I do not ship Maui and Moana! you can rb, but don't be weird about it)

Genuinely right off the bat I can't get over how loving Moana is described to be? She just loves others so much. She always describes Pua and HeiHei as her friends rather than her pets because of how much she cares about them!! it's so stupid cute that not only does she refer to Pua as her "loyal, adorable friend", but it's also implied that she handmade the little satchel he likes to ride in just for him. It eats me up inside!! She cares so much!!

The center island she's looking for is spelled as Motufetū!! I always love getting confirmation for these things, it makes things so much easier as a fic writer.

One of the souveniers she takes back with her alongside the broken pottery is a "massive clam". hello???? foreshadowing??? did everyone know about the giant clam guardian??

"For a man who had once forbidden her from going beyond the reef, he now spent quite a lot of time beyond it himself." AUUWHAAHHH THAT LINE KILLED ME WE LOVE TO SEE GROWTH FROM TRAUMA

"He loved her enthusiasm, but she seemed overexcited, and she was still his daughter, and he wanted to take care of her" MOANA!!! IS!!! SO LOVED!!!!

Loto's tool is called an adze! also she's apparently only 17?? two years younger than Moana?? not at all what I would've pegged her as, honestly

The storytelling tapestries are called siapos!!! more terminology!!!

"Her eyes darted to the image of Maui carved into the wall. She hadn't seen him since her return to Motunui, and she missed him. Not that she would admit it out loud" STRANGLING YOU STRANGLING YOU STRANGLING YOU

"Humans, were in fact, why he was here now, in this unknown realm of the gods looking at the pinkish white ball in front of him. At least, he thought that might be why he's here. These missions to benefit humans didn't always come with clear instructions" immediately followed by thinking about the trip to Te Fiti with Moana. What a dumbass <3 "I'm doing it for them and I don't know why? totally unrelated note haha that trip to Te Fiti with Moana was fun :)"

Never saw any of that journey coming, never could brute force his way through it, worth every second. Only considers getting the hook back as an afterthougt, ougghhhhhhh

Homeboy sucks at pretending that he doesn't care about Moana. He's talking to Matangi for all of two seconds and he's all "I'm a changed person! For um. no particular reason! It was definitely because of the thousand year isolation and nothing else whatsoever!"

There's no finite explanation for why Maui's there, but he credits Moana for making him a better person for being the reason. Something about breaking the curse? It's never made clear, even in the book.

Mini Maui selling him out for bullshitting about hating Moana is even funnier in the book, like Maui goes "yeah lol that girl was just a tool I uused to get my hook back" and Mini Maui starts pounding on him. Homeboy Moana can't even hear you and you're still mad at Maui for bullshitting, it kills me. Maui tries shooting him down. "Mini Maui wasn't convinced" has me in stitches

Maui's internal dialogue shifting to "oh wait, yeah, I wanted to surprise her with a visit. Oops." while he's tied up also has me in stitches. ffs, maui, get your priorities straight

"He refused to let Moana be hurt or threatened" I am on the floor

Every time Tui calls Moana "my dear" it adds ten years to my lifespan

The siapo of Maui in the storytelling fale is so lifelike that "it's as if he were about to jump off the fabric at any moment and start teasing her." that's so stupid cute!!!! also so stupid sad that she probably talks to it a lot hoping that it'll work someday. ough.

"Maui was having a bad day. Actually, he was having a lot of bad days"." feels like it was pulled right from a fic I would've written in 2018, I'm screaming

"I don't need her to save me...again" swallowing the earth as we speak

Curly still being the default nickname is also taking me out I need to be given financial compensation asap

There's a parallel that got lost in translation from page to movie, there's the bit where Moana's like "I'm sure Maui's off doing important demigod stuff, wherever he is", but there's also a bit of internal monologue where Maui's like "I hope Moana's faring better than I am, wherever she is" I'm gonna conk their heads together y'all need to communicate

The book directly mentions Moana and her crew passing Te Fiti. Did I miss that from the movie? Did they show Te Fiti, or is this a book-exclusive detail?

Their little Kakamora buddy has a name!! Kotu we don't deserve you. Also he's the Chief Kakamora's son! I just thought he was second in command. That's a whole baby

Maui knows who Pua is, somehow! He sees Pua waddling around and his first thought is "okay, this is weird, why do these people have Moana's pig with them?". Doesn't even remotely click that she could be with them. He's actually about to leave until HeiHei shows face and boy is he absolutely mortified. It eats me up inside. Instant shift of "goodbyeeeeee random humans I don't liiiike!!!" to oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, where is she????

Incredibly suspicious that Moana is the human that has all the gods talking. Something too about Maui having to force himself not to care about her. Did someone do a little too much bragging about his favorite human?

"I thought you'd be...more." okay a) I def think Maui's been overhyping her and b) haha More callback we love to see it

Also, Matangi's just a demigoddess! Not a goddess at all. interesting, interesting, interesting

Moana also sucks at priorities, one single mention of Maui and she instantly shifts to oh, oh my god, is he here? is he nearby? where is he?

Moana recognizes the Portal of the Gods as similar to the entrance to Lalotai...does that mean Lalotai is connected to the Realm of the Gods, in some way? are they the same place under a different name? also all :') that the dance she does to open the portal is specifically meant to be a copy of the haka that Maui did in the first movie.

You know, I think you need her just as much as she needs you. WHAT DOES IT MEAAAN? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? WHAT DOES IT MEAN??? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM???? YOU NEED EACH OTHER??? WHY DO THE GODS KNOW?? WHY DO THE GODS KNOW????

The first thing Moana does when she's back on her canoe is look for Maui because she thinks he's gone 🥹 wants to go back and look for him until she realizes he's the reason she's dangling in the air. Did he stop her from falling off the canoe? ough, I'm deceased

I can't get over Moana assuming he just wants to catch up, they are both such chronic babblers.

"His expression was both happy and annoyed." I'm losing my shit.

"But yeah, it is good to see you again" 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹.

"The fire in the sky lead us to you" can we stop with the written in the stars stuff. can we stop. my poor heart can't take it. platonic soulmates fr. "maybe we're supposed to do this together." THE GODS KNOW!!!! THEY KNOW!!!

"Maui bit back a smile." kill me. kill me. i'm dead on the spot. kill me.

Ohhhhh, I always love seeing what they do in place of the songs and the replacement for "Can I Get a Chee-Hoo?" kills me most of all, I think. Maui still goes to sit with her, but when Moana starts talking about all the people she's gonna let down, he comes to a screeching halt when she mentions Simea.

"If anyone should be upset, it should be me. Since when do you have a sister?"

"You would've met her, if you ever came to visit me." OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!!! She's trying to tease him but there's a tinge of hurt in her voice, like she feels like he doesn't care enough about her to take the time for her!! You need her as much as she needs you!!!!!

"Three years is a blip to me, princess," says the liar who thought about her on a near-daily basis!!!!

"Empathy wasn't Maui's strong suit. But he seemed to be trying- for her. and that dulled the pain a little" i am in my grave. i am in my grave.

"Why are you even here?" -> "Because...because I've been low before, and I couldn't see my path. And someone came along who I underestimated and she lifted me up. Someone I don't want to underestimate herself right now." THROWING UP!!!!!

"Wow, you're the worst at this." -> "Maui pretended to look offended" conking their heads together as we speak they are so SWEET!!!!!

Maui giving her all the credit for being the one to defeat Nalo!!! not himself!!!! her!!!!!!!

"Maui said he was better for knowing her. That had to count for something" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

It still destroys me that Maui's entire priority is keeping Moana safe!!! He's not just diving in to fight, he keeps going back to make sure they're all safe!!! that's all that matters to him!!!

God their little exchanges are so stupid they're killing me. "Nalo doesn't care about you!" "Yes he does! I'm Maui!!" "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!" dumbasses <3

oooh he really doesn't want to separate, his eyes keep going back and forth between Moana and the monster storm :')

Okay. okay. okay. listen. there's a lot more to Maui's goodbye in the book than in the movie. In the book it's an apology. It's a rushed explanation on why he hadn't gone back to visit her prior. He lied about not having the time for her. All his time has been about and for her.

The reason I didn't visit...was 'cause you made me want to be better. You deserve the whole ocean...I wanted you to have it. Watch yourself out there. I could pull up millions of islands, but if you're not there to land on them, what's the point?

FOR!!!! HER!!!!! EVERYTHING!!!! IS!!!!! FOR!!!!! HER!!!!!

He hated leaving Moana and her crew behind,

He trusted her.

God, coud you imagine? First movie Maui, getting his hook destroyed? Those three words hold more power than anything. He trusted her. If anyone can do this it's her. He trusts her. He trusts her.

His thoughts kept drifting back to Moana. Nothing else matters!!! He could be all full of himself and think about how heroic he's being for The Humans (other) and all he's thinking about is his Favorite Human.

The thought of failing her pushed on him as the weight of the water grew heavy.

WHO WROTE THIS!!!! WHO READ OUR FANFICS!!!!! WHO KNEW!!!!!

His tattoos glowing with the power of the gods the first time he tries lifting Motufetū.....were there other gods that were helping him? are there gods who know?? Te Fiti if you're out there,,,,,,,,,

Moana rushing to protect Maui when lightning barely misses him the first time is.........destroying me?? taking me out??? imagine being protective over a demigod literally pulling an island out of the sea. imagine trying to take many hits for him. using her conch shell to call out to the storm to hit her instead? Maui yelling at her to Not do that? probably because it's breaking his own heart to watch?? ough.

"It went against every instinct, but Moana knew she had to listen to him." THAT'S ALSO GROWTH!!! KEEPING THEM BOTH SAFE BY NOT PUSHING HERSELF FROWARD!!!! GROWTH!!!!!

Maui getting hit by three strikes of lightning, and he uses what he thinks are his last dying moments to say goodbye to Moana. He locks eyes with her, gives her a sad smile, and yells Find your way, kid. Just to her. Just loud enough that she's the only one who can hear. and oh boy is this book brutal about that fourth and "fatal" lightning strike. It's strong enough to fry him. It launches him up so high in the air that Moana can't even see him

So, uh...fun fact! The reason Moana doesn't instantly dive in the water to go after him is because she thinks she's too late and that he's dead on impact. She doesn't even see him hit the water.

"Moana gasped as she felt her necklace pop open and her shell- Simea's shell- toppled out. Frantically,she reached for it, ignoring the danger around her. She couldn't lose that shell. She had already lost so much."

She thinks of everyone she loves when she's about to dive into the water and reach for Motufetū herself and Maui's among them right alongside her family. God. If there were ever a more indirect found family confirmation............

Lightning flashed, illuminating the sky and filtering through the water. Moana hoped that her crew was okay. That Maui had somehow survived. RIGHT!!! FROM!!!! THE FICS!!!! I SWEAR THIS IS PULLED RIGHT FROM THE OLD FICS!!!

His hook was missing, but he didn't care. He dove in after Moana. Hi, yes, 2018-era me is screaming out from inside me. She's clawing her way out of my chest. This is everything she's ever needed.

Fun fact part two! I don't remember how it was in the movie, but Maui watches Moana die too!! I think in the movie he just sees her still body on the surface of Motufetū, but in the book he dives under the water just a moment sooner and helplessly watches the lightning strike through her body. He watches her go still and sink towards the ocean floor :) Now they both have the trauma of watching each other die! :) :)

He tries desperately to catch her before she hits the floor but there are multiple instances of him being knocked back by a shockwave :') The gods sure have found his weakness!!!

He pushed through it. Nothing was stopping him from reaching Moana.

The grieving!!! The grieving is so fierce!!

Isn't it fun?? He practically has a burial ceremony for her! He catches her before her body hits the floor, and he places her gently on the surface of the island so she can fulfill her story! God! I'm unwell! He places Simea's little shell next to her body so Moana can be close to her sister one final time!

Then, kneeling next to her, he put his hand to his heart. It rested on the tattoo of Moana that had appeared after their last adventure. It had been his constant reminder in the three years since how strong a human could be. 🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

It's just...he doesn't even realize the ocean is creating a dome around them! He's that grief-striken!!

The ocean knows them. It knows what they need. He calls it Moana's. Moana's ocean. aUGGHHHHHH.

Hey so all of that talk about Maui not allowing himself to let the gods know that Moana's his friend and then he's begging them. He's begging the gods and her (her? his? huamnity in general?) ancestors to save her because she deserves more than this. she deserves better. If any of the gods knew nothing of the two of them they sure as hell did now, ohhhhhh boy is that gonna screw him over later :')

So the book never explicitly states she's a demigoddess either! It very ominously states that She'll never be the same.

Moana gets to see her ancestors this time! I can't remember if she woke up before they disappeared in the movie, but when she wakes up her thought process goes wait, where am I? to oh, shit, MAUI?!?!? to TAUTAI VASA? TALA?? HELLO??? someone please invent therapy already she's gonna need it pretty desperately

god imagine if she thought maui was also dead?? she doesn't but ohhhh. ohhhhhh the angst potential of her thinking they're all there to see her off. god.

Shock and awe. That's all Moana can get out of Maui's expression when she catches him staring.

Mini Maui, the more accurate voice, is bawling his little eyes out when he sees that Moana's okay

Moana understands the implications instantly. and she knows that she's only alive now because Maui prayed for her

"Arching an eyebrow, she nodded over her shoulder. It was time they raised an island- togehter". SICK!!! TO!!! MY!!! STOMACH!!!

"She saw Maui, a familiar comfort in this uncharted territory" [AGGRESIVE TABLE SLAMMING] THAT'S FOUND FAMILY BAYBEEEEE

:') there's a big group hug with Moana's crew and Maui tries to wiggle his way to the center. That's almost shot for shot a scene from one of the first Moana fics I ever wrote back in December of 2017 :') turning into a little lizard and skittering into the center of the hug where Moana is because he wants a proper hug too :')

Okay so I definitely know for sure that when it says the villagers of Motunui are shocked Maui's there because they've heard so many stories about him that it's just the regular old legacy stories. but listen. let me be deluisional. it's because Moana always tells stories and Moana's like. known around the island as his best friend. so it's like!!! oh!!! there he is!!! Tautai Moana's best friend!!!! :')

He calls Simea Mini Moana!!!! weeping and sobbing

Simea's big brown eyes familiar. He Also calls Simea tugging on his ear Very Familiar. That's so stupid cute. I wonder if he ever visited when Moana was out voyaging and he ran into Simea if he'd be able to tell that she was her little sister? :') also hilarious because I'm sure it implies Moana told him Simea wanted to yell at him and he went "yeah okay that's fair"

(still lowkey sad Maui never gets included in the family hugs. Ohhhh if they ever found out what he did to save her they'd pull him straight in for sure)

MAUI STAYS!!! CONFIRMATION THAT HE STAYS!!!!

He stays long enough for things to calm down. He and Moana head out by themselves to help their little Kakamora buddy reunite with his family (cough cough)

Moana goes from "that kid" to his "dear friend." cherished. beloved. it's not even relelvant to the plot. He just smiles at her and goes "where to now?" and it's just. that's his dear friend!!! god!!!! so beloved!!! that feels like it holds even more weight than best friend!!!

god. god. I really gotta write a fic where they talk about watching each other die

good shit!!! gooood shit!!! I'm gonna be screaming about this forever. god.

[kayhi808]

First Crush - 7

It took forever to get Abby down for her nap. She was too excited about Bucky coming over today. You can't lie, you're a little excited too. It feels like an important step is being made. You've invited him into your sanctuary. You switched up the menu to a roasted chicken. He ruined the idea of spaghetti & meatballs with his guts & eyeball comment. Roast chicken was a better idea, you can just throw it in the oven & enjoy the movie with them.

Looking around the living room to see if there was something you missed. You threw Abby's toys in a basket & pushed it to the side, so at least the living room looked a little neat. You had on shorts & a peasant top. A little dressier for staying home, but you wanted to look good for Bucky.

"Mama?" You hear her footsteps running down the hall. "Mama?"

"Yes?"

"Where Bucky?" She looks around frowning. "I'm all done sleeping."

Bucky texted just a little bit ago saying he was getting near. "Pretty soon. He's on his way over right now. Let's brush your hair & put on a clean tshirt. We can wait for him downstairs.

*****

You and Abby wait on the stoop, singing songs she learned at daycare. There's a rumble of a motorcycle turning the corner that catches your attention. Of course he would own a bike. Your forehead wrinkles watching him pull in between the 2 cars parked out front. He looks sexy as hell, but you should have learned your lesson with Jason. Abby is jumping up & down clapping her hands watching Bucky take off his helmet. You have a hand on her arm keeping her away.

"How's my favorite girl?" Bucky smiles up at Abby as she pulls away from you & launches herself off the stairs at him. You're terrified that the daredevil gene will end up getting Abby hurt one day.

"ABBY!" Bucky easily catches her & hugs her to him. He sees the anger on your face and sets her down. "Abigail," turning her face towards you, "Don't you ever pull away from me like that. You know you aren't supposed to jump down the stairs."

"It's ok, Mama. Bucky catch me."

"No. No, it's not ok. What if he didn't?"

"I think you scared your Mama, Abby. Maybe you should say you're sorry." You see a stubborn frown on her face before she said she's sorry & you nod & kiss her brow. You stand up to face Bucky who looks concerned & bends down to kiss your cheek and whisper, "You ok?" He gives you an identical kiss to the brow that you gave Abby.

Nodding, "Nice bike."

"It's easier to find street parking," he shrugs. That makes perfect sense, but why does it still bother you? You shake off that thought & give him a smile.

Abby slips her hand in his, "Cans I ride it with you?"

"Absolutely not."

Bucky picks Abby up, "Let's listen to Mama, huh?"

"She's going to give me a heart attack.' You lead Bucky upstairs to your apartment. Abby has already switched topics & talking a mile a minute.

Once inside, Bucky opens his backpack & brings out 2 pints of ice cream, which brings a smile to your lips. Shyly, "I didn't know what flavor to get."

"Didn't know what would go well with guts & eyeballs? I switched to roast chicken by the way." He laughs & nods. "These are perfect. Abby, look what Bucky brought for dessert."

"Strawberry is my favorite! How yous know?"

Shrugging, "Lucky guess."

"Bucky, yous want to play toys in my room?"

"Um..."

"Baby, remember we were going to watch a movie. I'm going to make popcorn right now. Maybe you and Bucky can look for a movie instead."

"Oh yea! Come, Bucky." She tugs on his hand.

"What do you want to drink? I got iced tea, water, soda, juice...."

"Iced tea?"

"Mama, cans I has juice, please?"

"Yes, ma'am. One ice tea, one juice."

You put the chicken potato veggies in the oven. Pop some popcorn. Get their beverages and bring it to the living room. You find Bucky wearing a plastic lei and holding Pua, the pig from Moana, on his lap. Your jaw drops but you quickly take out your phone and snap a picture of him glaring at you. "Abby, where are you?"

You hear her feet running down the hallway, "I'm here, Mama!" She has a lei on & hula skirt. "I had to gives Bucky your lei."

"That's fine, Baby. It looks good on him."

Nodding, "So pretty!" She runs out again.

"Abby! What are you doing? The movie is going to start." You turn to Bucky who looks a little shell shocked. You straighten his lei. "You look good."

You hear Abby running back and now she's added on a tiara, "Ok, Mama! Puts yours on." She climbs on the couch and places one on Bucky. "There."

"That's perfect, Baby. Let's take a picture." Standing on the couch next to Bucky, she wraps her arms around him squishing her cheek up against his. "Nice! Say cheese! Smile, Buck." Then you sit on his other side and get a selfie of the 3 of you.

"Lemme see, please." Abby takes your phone and squeals. "Good work, Mama! We so pretty!" She plops down next to Bucky, "Okies, I'm ready for the movie."

You play "Moana", one of Abby's favorites so she's zoned out singing every song. Doing little dances. Bucky takes the opportunity to wrap his arm around you pulling you close. Whispering, "If you send those pics to anyone on the team, I will end you."

Next Chapter

@waywardhunter95 @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @crazyunsexycool @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @ozwriterchick @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @enchantedbarnes @purplecolordeer @samsgirl93 @buckitostan @blackbirdwitch22

[giuseppe-yuki]

I’m just imagining Paul’s girlfriend getting all the bird and woodland animal shifter girlfriends such as Georges deer shifter band together and won’t leave Paul Aron alone to make it look like a Disney princess and everyone teasing him about it.

that would actually be so funny! the whole gang would be there.

picture credits from pinterest :)

“…and then, ollie turns to me and calls me a ‘disney princess!’” paul exclaims, brushing a lock of blonde hair away from his eyes. “can you believe that?”

he scoffs, and adjusts his seat at the little table you both were sitting at. it coincidentally makes a ray of sunshine light up his golden curls, which did not help his argument of not looking like a disney princess.

you act surprised at his statement, as if you weren't the person that literally hinted at the resemblance to ollie. “what? you? a disney princess? that’s a silly thing to say!”

he opens his mouth to respond, but a trickle of vip fans stroll past your little seating area in the paddock, and frantically greet him. a little wave and polite smile from him sends them in a frenzy.

“paul! paul!” they shout, waving a poster. “can you please sign this?”

like the kind-hearted person he is, your boyfriend clears the table of some of his plates from lunch in order to sign the poster. however, his shy smile automatically turns into a frown when he sees the contents of the poster.

“what. is. this.” he says unamusedly, waving the sharpie above the sparkly words that announce him as ‘princess paul.’

you immediately cover your mouth, trying to stifle the giggle that threatens to come out.

the teenage girl who was carrying the sign beams at paul. “well, everyone always sees you in the paddock with a little songbird flitting above your head! ollie has stated in several interviews that it makes you look like a princess.”

“i’m going literally going to kill ollie ,” your boyfriend mutters. uncapping the marker, he hesitantly scribbles his signature on the very corner of glittery poster before sending the fans on their way.

later in the day, you decide it is the perfect time to enact your silly little plan.

it starts with george's girlfriend, who you easily convinced to prance behind paul as he walks through the paddock. your boyfriend surprisingly doesn't notice, too busy signing merch and signature books of awestruck fans. with his shy blushing cheeks, you think he is just like snow white in the forest scene with a deer by his side.

next is daniel ricciardo's girlfriend, who scrambles out of the vcarb hospitality as soon as she sees your signal. she treads carefully one step behind paul's feet, which earns a curious glance from your boyfriend. he continues to amble through the paddock, his hand in yours. although he looks nothing like pocahontas, you think he matches her personality pretty well, both being kind and headstrong.

when alex's girlfriend starts fluttering above his head, paul realizes something is going on. he glances behind him quickly, only to find the deer, raccoon, and bird following him. scrunching his eyebrows in confusion, he shoots you a glance, which you follow up by shrugging innocently. paul marks it as coincidence, and proceeds to wave to zak o'sullivan from across the paddock. alex's girlfriend purposely flies in a circle above his head, which you think makes him look like aurora with his blond curls.

zhou's girlfriend propels herself from her surprised boyfriend's arms after you beckon her forward next, waddling in place next to danny's girlfriend. by this time, paul notices the absolute swarm of animals behind him, as do the fans. the little teacup pig's presence reminds you of pua from moana, which only helped your argument of paul looking like a disney princess.

paul yanks his hand out of yours, and comes to a stop in the middle of the paddock, arms crossed and pouting. "what is going on? why the hell are they-" he gestures vaguely at the animals sitting patiently next to him, waiting for him to start walking again- "following me?"

"i don't know!" you exclaim innocently. "that is so weird!"

before paul can question you further, alex's girlfriend perches herself on paul's outstretched hand and tweets a little tune.

right on time, dino strolls by, and shoots finger guns at a distraught-looking paul. "hey hey, aron! so this is what ollie meant by you being a literal disney princess! look at that crowd of animals behind you!" he laughs at paul trying to shoo the cockatiel aside before skipping away.

covering his reddening face in embarrassment, he tries to sprint off. but, he bumps into kimi's girlfriend, who wags her long tail in amusement and flashes her glimmering fangs. paul whips around, finding you giggling in front of crowd of fans who had their phones out. there was no doubt that he was already trending on twitter under the hashtag #princesspaul. "what the hell-" he cries to you, exasperated. "is this a set-up? are you trying to make me look like jasmine with kimi's gir- i uh mean, tiger or something?"

as if the tiger wasn't enough, ollie shows up with his girlfriend in tow. he sets the bear cub at an annoyed-looking paul's feet, laughing at the sight in front of him.

"oh yeah, totally. just put her there, that's great." your boyfriend quips sarcastically. "let me guess, merida?"

paul groans as he sees yet another picture of himself surrounded by disney princess animals in the paddock on instagram. he flips his screen to you, who is laying lazily on the hotel bed beside him, combing your fingers through his curls.

"yet another one," he sighs, tapping through the chain of comments beneath the post that was just variations of 'princess paul'. he glances up at you, a pecks a kiss on your cheek. "this is why i love you way more than ollie- you'd never do this to me."

his smile falters when you respond with a guilty grin.

pushing away from you, he sits up on the bed to get a better look at your face. "wait- you'd never do that to me, right?"

a little blurb as part of my spinoff shapeshifter!reader series :)

[yeetus-feetus]

incorrect quotes (pt5)

Kon: sapnu puas. Bernard: What?? Tim: What language is that. Kon: Turn your phone 180 degrees. -Kon was removed from the groupchat-

-

Kon: Did Bernard just tell me he loves me for the first time? Tim: Yeah, he did. Kon: And did I just do finger guns back? Tim: Yeah, you did.

-

Damian: I have to say, I'm a little embarrassed for you. Jason: This is a sports-related injury. It makes me look cool! Damian: Tripping over a basketball on your way to the bathroom is not cool!

-

Damian: Wake me up- Jason: Before you go go Steph: When September ends Dick: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

-

Bernard: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look? Tim: Like it slips on and off really easily. Bernard: Tim: No, I didn't mean it like that- Kon: We know what you meant.

-

Steph: Are you laughing at that video of Tim and Jason fighting? Damian: No. Damian: I'm laughing at the comments.

[silentauthor96]

Random Xiaolin Showdown Headcanons: Favorite Disney Princesses

Omi: Mulan (of course). First and foremost she is a WARRIOR. And she's known as THE hero who saved China, the SAVIOR of China. This woman is Omi's life goal. Plus they both have sassy dragon sidekicks. After the other monks show Omi this movie, he spends the next week searching the temple grounds for his own lucky cricket.

Kimiko: Tiana, partly because she and Tiana are both daddy's girls, partly because Tiana also definitely has a temper but she keeps it cool for the most part (Kimiko is working on that). Kimiko also likes Tiana's "get it done" work ethic, and that she's an entrepreneur. Also that she doesn't fall for the hotshot prince right away.

Clay: Ariel. Look, Clay loves the classics PLUS Ariel is such a little anthropologist. She wants to learn more about the world outside her home, and Clay can relate. Also the fights with her dad, he can definitely relate to that. (I was considering Jane from Tarzan as well, but she's not an official princess 🤷🏾‍♀️) (Clay also likes parts of Pocahontas, especially the music, but he just can't get behind the white-washed Disneyfication of her story.)

Dojo: Raya. I don't think this one needs explanation (also I haven't actually seen this movie so I am purely going off the title. And so is Dojo.)

Raimundo: Isabela (Encanto) doesn't count, but his first choice is definitely Isabela - she's pretty and can be very classy and refined, but she's got a wild, mischievous side to her. And she definitely has a temper. Also she knows all about that big, intergenerational family struggle. Out of official princesses though, Moana. She's another go-getter type, but when she does leave home, she's doing it to try to save her village. And he really liked the music in Moana. (Clay really liked Moana's pet pig, Pua. He was disappointed by the lack of Pua screen time in most of the movie.)

[ntls-24722]

He didn't just get pampered, he just straight up got adopted.

When I had made the initial comic I kind of had in mind that the zebraman was in exile and that was why he was all alone in the middle of the night, shirtless and willing to go up to the 10-ton tree stone-crushing giant that has been known to kill and eat zebramen on sight. Not sure what crime he committed, but as a very human-like organism, he's useless without anyone else and he's forced to go to someone for help. Thankfully 2 of the Debu found him cute (mostly because he was alone) and have just continuously fed him since he just kept following them around (to the 3rd's dismay).

They even made a little vest with a rope at the back so they could scoop him up.

Though, I think eventually they'd figure out that he's as smart as them, even with the language barrier (debu cannot physically speak most zebrapeople languages, and vice versa). Especially when he learned a lot of basic survival from them, and is replicating it...

Small detail, but Zebraman expressions! Zebramen actually have 2 toned gums instead of lips for expression purposes - When you're always smiling, you can flash your bottom and top gum to actually add nuance to your expressions (But WHY are they always smiling?.... i need to figure that out). The top gum is lighter because it makes a bigger contrast with the strip between their nose and lip, they kind of have a cow thing going on there.

What's funny though, is that a Zebraperson smile is a Debu's look of disgust. The raised top lip is to show the lighter gum in zebrapeople, but the raised top lip in Debu is to make the appearance that they're trying to cover their nose with their lip.

Also, Zebraelves.

Octapodal walking is less fast as hexapodal walking, but it's more stable, and while usually utilized for tree-climbing, you will sometimes see sick zebraelves walk like this on the ground to help with any dizziness.

Mailmen zebraelves! I think I'm finally gonna give them the names Mauli(left) and Pua(right, with mohawk)

I was going to focus on them today, but I... didn't, obviously. Lol

Mauli is outwardly a goody-six-shoes, and that repuation has allowed her to get away with stuff when she actually did do something bad. Pua is very outwardly rebellious and her boss doesn't like her all that much, but Pua is just if Mauli wasn't seen as completely harmless. Their boss(Regse) sees through Mauli and indescriminately chews them both out, though

Regse doesn't hate either of them though. She has a weird motherly, older sister vibe for the two of them

Bonus comet

[imagitory]

Do you think Wish would have been better if they kept the concept of romance between Asha and the star boy, and the kind and queen being a villainous couple?

TL;DR...maybe.

I admit, I do really like human!Star and Magnifico/Amaya being a villainous couple as concepts -- but I don't think adding those ideas alone would've fixed Wish's shortcomings. Because I strongly believe the main reason so much of the Wish fandom has latched onto the idea of a romance for Asha in particular comes down to people feeling more for their mental AU concepts of Asha and Star than for Asha and the rest of her canon cast in the real finished product. There are no relationships in Wish -- ones featuring Asha or otherwise -- that I feel really prompt much investment or emotion in the audience.

Asha's mom and grandpa really don't have much time devoted to them, especially early on when we could establish some real history and pathos in their relationships with Asha. (Positive examples of this would be Ember and her dad in Elemental, Tiana and James and Eudora in The Princess and the Frog, or Mama Coco and Miguel in Coco.) We never even learn Asha's mom's dream even though it's picked up multiple times and the narrative makes such a big deal about Magnifico crushing it. The few lines discussing Asha's deceased father could've been cut from the story altogether and we would've lost nothing. Asha's friend group gets so little focus as individuals that it's hard to even remember most of their names. They were clearly envisioned as just "the Seven Dwarves but as teens," and honestly, them being vaguely like the Dwarfs is the only real impact they leave on a lot of people by the end. Or did a bunch of kids that went to go see the movie beg their parents for dolls of Simon and Bazeema after the movie was over? Asha and Star's dynamic can't be that interesting because Star doesn't spark any real character growth or change in Asha, nor does Asha really bond emotionally with Star. Star honestly just floats around looking cute for most of the movie, rather than doing that much of consequence. Valentino doesn't provide any significant emotional support for Asha, the way that even other cute Disney "pets" like Pascal or Pua do for isolated characters like Rapunzel and Moana. He also doesn't advance her journey in any meaningful way like Sebastian or Jacques and Gus do for Ariel and Cinderella, respectively. Asha and Magnifico's hero-villain relationship has no teeth because they have no real history prior to the events of the story (unlike Ursula using Ariel as a way to get back at her father Triton or Mother Gothel raising Rapunzel in isolation in an attempt to use her hair's magic to keep her young) and they don't serve as any kind of narrative foil to each other (unlike Jafar, who like Aladdin also uses magic and deception to try to advance his own goals, or Scar, who like Simba at the beginning of the movie "just can't wait to be king" and is focused way more on the perks of kingship rather than the responsibilities). Even Amaya and Asha can't have much of a relationship because there's no time set aside for it, and even if Amaya put in a good word for Asha with Magnifico, she didn't speak out on Asha's behalf after Magnifico vindictively cast her aside and really only decided to fight alongside Asha after Magnifico "went too far" by threatening Amaya herself (as opposed to, say, anyone else).

When my mum and I went to go see Wish, we came out of the theater feeling oddly blase about the whole story. My mum even -- upon me asking her about her thoughts on this topic before I sat down to write this -- admitted that although she "wanted to see evil defeated," and all that, she honestly just hadn't cared about any of the characters that much. She wanted Magnifico to lose because it was justice for Magnifico to lose -- not because she was actively rooting for Asha, her friends, or Rosas overall. She wanted good to triumph and evil to fail, but none of the characters and their relationships had made her that invested in seeing how that came about. And considering that every single character in every story ever written is largely shaped by the relationships they have with other characters, that means that Wish's primary failing is not a lack of romance, either for its main lead or its villains --

It's a lack of love.

Any kind of sincere, selfless, development-inducing, chemistry-fueled love. Not necessarily romantic love -- Disney's Revival work has actually shown just how diverse love can be through films like Zootopia, Encanto, and Frozen -- but real love between the characters, built on the back of history and camaraderie and meaningful screen time. Love that adds layers to their personality, fuels their choices and actions, and ultimately helps them bloom into better, more complete people. Instead I would argue that the only "love" in Wish is with ideas from past Disney projects -- that's why there are more Easter eggs and overt meta references to other projects in this movie than there are scenes that actively stir your emotions. You know -- the way Mulan does when she decides to steal her father's armor, or Marlin does when he gingerly picks up Nemo's cracked egg in his flippers and cradles it, or Cinderella's stepsisters do when they rip apart the dress the mice made for Cinderella, or Pinocchio does when he watches in horror as Lampwick turns into a donkey, or Tarzan does when he comforts Kala after he comes out dressed in his biological father's old clothes and she starts to cry.

The reason a lot of fans love these two ideas -- villain!Magnifico/Amaya and human!Star/Asha -- so much is because these two relationships, even just in concept art, prompted more emotion out of them than any relationship in the entire finished film.

Perhaps if that same level of emotion was brought out in these relationships in a real movie, that would've helped, but only if the rest of the film had also been trimmed down and edited so as to help tell a story with those two elements. Slim down the overstuffed cast. Have Asha's family actually have a point, or cut them. Give Asha and Magnifico some sort of real history and/or compare-contrast dynamic. Develop Star as a character. Give both Star and Asha character arcs. Make the music more essential to telling the story.

Without a lot of additional changes on top of those two concepts being used, I think the ideas of a hero and villain couple would've only just made the list of ideas that were only half-baked in the final product longer. After all, if Star was Asha's love interest, you'd still really have to have good writing and a lot of chemistry between the two characters in order to sell your audience on a love story between them. Not saying it can't be done -- Tangled and Elemental both did it quite well -- but just throwing the two characters together as is (namely, rather underdeveloped) and making them romantic partners by itself isn't enough. Honestly, I think a platonic or even familial-esque relationship between Star and Asha could've been just as powerful, if that love between them really came through. Just look at the bonds between characters like Judy and Nick from Zootopia or Miguel and Hector in Coco. Even keeping Star as less explicitly human could've been fine, if the relationship between them and Asha was strong enough. Stitch and Lilo's relationship is rock-solid in Lilo and Stitch, and Stitch isn't even remotely human. Even Soul did something kind of interesting with Joe Gardner and his relationship with 22 by giving them something of a mentor-student bond. Maybe a quasi-"young parent/child" relationship between Asha and Star could've even been interesting, if it was written well!

I do think both ideas had great potential in giving Wish more of an identity that could help set it apart from its predecessors -- I mean, we've never had a human character have a romance with a supernatural being or a villainous couple in a Disney animated film before -- but including them wouldn't have fixed Wish by itself.

[caliboron]

It’s time for Caliboron’s super based review extravaganza thing that actually isn’t that big of a deal but if you’re reading this you’re part of it! This post will contain spoilers for the following movies: Migration, Inside Out 2, Despicable Me 4, A Quiet Place Day One, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, Smile 2, Gladiator 2, Moana 2, and Sonic the Hedgehog 3

I’ve never done a post like this, but my family has taken up the hobby of going to the movies so that’s a thing we do now! I saw a lot of movies this year, but this post is specifically about the ones I saw in theaters. These are all my opinions, I’m biased, they may be based on personal experience of real life events that happened when I went to see them. Also these will be rank with #1 being the best. Now let’s get on with it

Disclaimer: I liked and enjoyed all of these movies, just because it’s low doesn’t mean I hated it

#9: Moana 2

Oh, Moana 2… It was good. Not great, but good. Honestly kind of a disappointing sequel. The songs were good. I liked that they gave Moana a little sister, the dynamic between them was sweet. They introduced a lot of new side characters, but it felt too rapid-fire and sudden. I don’t remember any of the new characters’ names. I wish there were more scenes focused on them so we could get to know them better. Pua joined the adventure this time along with Hei Hei, but it didn’t add much. It was nice to see Moana and Maui interact again. The “Get Lost” song was my favorite. I got excited when we saw Tamatoa in the after-credit scene. Looking forward to the inevitable Moana 3, I hope it out-does this one. 5/10

#8: Despicable Me 4

So, I’ve never seen Despicable Me 2 or 3, but I had enough knowledge of the series to understand this one. Gru’s rival from high school shows up and their family has to go into witness protection and take on new identities. Also there’s a baby now. The baby hates Gru for some reason. They tried to do something interesting with the new identities, but it felt like a side-plot that was ignored. Gru’s high school rival was like a roach-guy and he wanted to turn the baby into a roach too? Honestly the baby was kinda cute as a roach and me and my sister agreed that we wish he stayed that way. There was a minion trapped in a vending machine the whole movie. No one helped him. He presumably starved and died. Very entertaining movie but the plot felt weak. 5/10

#7: Migration

One word I’d use to sum up this movie is “cute”. It was short but sweet. A family of ducks with an anxious father who doesn’t want to leave the lake they live in so they’ve never migrated before. As the title suggests, they do convince him to migrate. Also Danny DeVito is there so that automatically makes this movie 10x better. They get lost and end up in New York and they go to like a duck resort paradise place but it’s actually a farm that gives them away to be cooked. There’s a crazy chef that’s the main antagonist and chases them around. The relationship between the two sibling ducks was very cute. Overall I liked this one a lot. 6/10

#6: Gladiator 2

I was not planning to see this one. Me and my mom bought tickets to a “mystery movie” at our theater and it turned out to be Gladiator 2, which funny enough my parents planned to see this for their 30th wedding anniversary later that week, so my mom saw it twice. I thought I’d hate this movie, thought I’d find it boring because I don’t usually watch action/serious movies like this. It took a bit for me to get into it but halfway through I was invested. I’ve never seen the original Gladiator btw haha. I ended up really liking this! The plot was engaging and suspenseful. The cgi baboons absolutely terrified me, but I liked the little monkey named Dundus. The ruler twins were annoying and their deaths were satisfying. 8/10

#5: Sonic the Hedgehog 3

I just saw this one last night! It was amazing! Me and my sister (she is a HUGE Sonic fan) binged the other 2 movies the night before so we were ready. This movie was hilarious and action-packed. Robotnik and his grandpa were probably the highlight, there were some great scenes with them. And Shadow! He was there too. A lot of quote-able moments, too. We went to the little arcade inside the theater after and played claw machines, me and my sister joked that we should “break glass in case of emergency” to get the toys lol. Knuckles was dead set on breaking that glass. I like how they continue to find ways to include Tom and Maddie and the sibling dynamic that’s developed between Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles. I think they did Shadow and his backstory justice. And my god, that after credit scene with Amy and Metal.. It was awesome. My sister is obsessed with Metal Sonic so she was overjoyed. Also there are TWO after-credit scenes!! A lot of people left the theater after the first one so they missed the second. 10/10

#4: Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice. Oh no, I just summoned him. I loved this movie. It did the original so much justice. And SURPRISE DANNY DEVITO CAMEO!!! Loved that. Lydia’s an adult now with a daughter who gets tricked by this ghost boy and now Lydia has to recruit BJ to save her. Also Lydia’s headless, deceased father is searching for his wife the whole movie. Which his wife, Delia, ends up dying to some supposedly de-venomed snakes in a mourning ritual devoted to him. They reunite and it’s very sweet. Also Beetlejuice has a wife that’s trying to kill him the whole movie so there’s a lot going on. And there’s a shrunken head guy named Bob. RIP Bob, you were a real one. This was a legendary sequel. 10/10

#3: Inside Out 2

Another legendary sequel. This movie perfectly portrayed how a panic attack feels, and told a great story of desperately trying to fit in and be accepted that I found very relatable. The new emotions were interesting and had good character designs. It was nice to see the original squad interact more. My mom and sister kept hoping to see Bing-Bong but nope, he is dead forever. 10/10

#2: Smile 2

This was my first time seeing a horror movie in theaters. Being in a pitch-black room with surround sound definitely made it an intense experience. I kept feeling like something was behind me. This movie was even better than the first Smile. The main character was interesting and the plot had me invested. Every single jumpscare got me, big time. God the smile-demon thing is terrifying. There was so much contorting (big personal fear of mine) and that scene in the apartment when all the backup dancers were slowly moving toward the main character had my heart racing. And the reveal of the actual demon is burned into my mind. I still think about it now and get creeped out. That final scene where the main character got possessed and killed herself on stage in front of all those people… the smile demon is gonna be like a world-wide epidemic now. If they make a Smile 3 it’ll be interesting to say the least. This movie fucked me up for like a week after lol I was super jumpy, and my sister’s bf was being an asshole smiling widely at me to mess with me 10/10

#1: A Quiet Place: Day One

Wow. What a movie. This has to be my favorite one I’ve seen this year, it was so good. This movie has so much heart at its core. I wasn’t expecting to like it as much as I did, but it’s definitely better than the other Quiet Place movies. It was super tense, had me on the edge of my seat multiple times, and I was hoping and praying that the cat would survive, and… IT DID! The cat lived! Dude I was so happy. That last scene where Eric was swimming with the cat towards the boat I was so worried, but they made it safely! And the final scene where the main character, Sammy, just unplugged her headphones and accepted her fate was perfect. 10/10

So.. that’s it! Next year I definitely wanna type these out right after I watch the movies bc I had difficulty recalling all the events while making these reviews.

Movies I’m looking forward to next year:

Minecraft movie (of course), Dogman, and BAD GUYS 2 HELL YEAHHH

Here’s to 2025, and many more movies and memories!

[devilsrecreation]

My Kiburi relationship headcanons are so important to me, man

We have this grumpy crocodile who acts like he doesn’t care about anything but put him near his loved ones and he goes soft (even though he may not act like it)

Tamka, Nduli, and Neema have stuck by him through thick and thin and he sees them as his family, especially Nduli who’s like a little brother to him. Like they are his entire world

He also becomes BFF’s with Janja and now they’re practically inseparable with their snark and confidence

I’ve mentioned he sees Kenge as part of the float and they’re super tight

Njano may be kinda annoying to him but he still has his back

He listens to and respects Pua to no end cuz Pua’s essentially his second dad

And because I’m counting oc’s:

Wakali’s his pride and joy and if anybody even looks at her the wrong way, he’ll kill them

He may bicker with Ucheshi but there is no denying he still loves and cares about his baby sister to the ends of the Earth. And it’s the same vice versa, they have that really strong and special bond that screams “If you wanna hurt my sibling, you’re gonna have to go through me first”

[theteasnake]

Silent Trio as incorrect quotes

I got all of these from this generator.

Amanda: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one.

Danny: Erm... it’s nice see your smile when you win!

*later*

Amanda: They're probably just staring at my ass, aren't they.

Michael: Yeah, probably.

Danny: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.

Amanda: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Michael.

Danny, pointing their hot glue gun towards Amanda: You’re on thin fucking ice.

Michael: I dropped Danny.

Amanda: Michael, what the fuck.

Michael, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Danny: Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Danny: Here you go.

Michael:

Danny:

Amanda: Why am I here?

Danny: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way?

Michael: Excuse me Mx. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you?

Amanda: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

Danny: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Michael.

Amanda: You just said it again.

Michael:

Danny: I am not a role model.

Amanda: Michael, get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you?

Michael: Danny, Amanda wants you to get out of the house.

Danny, texting Michael: Michael! Help I'm being kidnapped!

Michael: Where are you?

Danny: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Michael: I'll call Amanda.

Amanda, answering their cell: Y'ello?

Michael: Where's Danny? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Amanda: Danny? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-

Amanda:

Amanda: I'll call you back. *Hangs up*

Amanda: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Danny: WHO ARE YOU!?

Danny: *yawns*

Amanda: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Danny: Then you must be exhuasted.

Michael: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

Danny: Thank you all for coming.

Michael, wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here.

Danny: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Danny Task Force".

Amanda: Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way.

Michael: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Danny:

Danny: I'm gonna tell them.

Amanda: Don't you dare.

Amanda: I like your top, Danny!

Michael: I have a name, you know.

Danny: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

*Amanda is comforting Michael*

Amanda: Stop crying because it’s over. Start smiling because Danny is someone else’s problem now.

Danny: sapnu puaS.

Michael: What??

Amanda: What language is that.

Danny: Turn your phone 180 degrees.

*Danny was removed from the groupchat*

Danny: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Amanda: What’s up your ass this morning!

Michael: *walks in* ...Hey.

Amanda: Hmm… nevermind.

Danny: WAIT NO!

Amanda: Yo dumbass, get over here.

Danny: Okay-

Michael: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming!

Danny, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...

Michael: Hey, Amanda. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Amanda: To get to the other side?

Michael: You were supposed to say “I dunno, why?“

Amanda: Uh... fine. I don’t know. Why did it cross the road?

Michael: To get to the idiot’s house.

Amanda: ...Ok?

Danny: Hey, Amanda. Knock knock.

Amanda: No.

Danny: You were supposed to say “who’s there?”

Amanda: Fine... let’s get this over with. Who’s there?

Danny: The chicken.

Amanda:

Danny:

Michael:

Amanda: Listen here you little shits-

Danny: Look at the buns on that guy!

Michael: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns*

Amanda: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny!

Danny: I'm not going back to jail!

Michael: *lifting weights*

Danny: Wow… They’re so intense!

Amanda: I wonder what drives them.

Michael, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

Amanda, staring upwards: So, Danny broke up with me… haha…

Michael: Why are you looking up?

Amanda: I need to cry, but my foundation was 48 dollars!

Amanda: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world.

Michael: Thank you for your sacrifice, Danny.

Danny: Michael’s gonna kill me.

Amanda: No, they'll probably make me do it.

*The Squad using an Ouija board*

Amanda: Tell us… Is there a spirit in this house?

Spirit, through the board: YES.

Michael: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month.

Danny: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out.

Spirit: WAIT, WHAT—

Michael: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Danny recently.

Amanda: No, Michael, it's not what it looks like, I swear.

Michael: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Amanda: No! You’re the only one for me.

Michael: Is that so?

Amanda: I promise! Danny and I are just dating, okay? They’re my partner.

Michael: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Amanda: You are still my one and only best friend! They’re just the love of my life, nothing more!

Michael: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?

Amanda: Of course bro!

Michael: Bro...

Danny: What the-

Amanda, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Michael: Danny's in the kitchen.

Amanda: Norwegia. Is. Not. A. COUNTRY!

Michael: Then where are Norwegian people from!?

Danny: NORWAY!!

Danny: We need to open this locked door. Michael, give me your credit card.

Michael: Here.

Danny, pocketing it: Thanks. Amanda, break down the door.

Amanda: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it?

Danny: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?”

Michael, scoffing: Oh, please.

Danny, to Michael: Hey, how you doin’?

Michael:

Michael: *giggles and blushes*

Michael: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Amanda: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

Amanda: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Michael: Well Danny and I-

Danny: *elbows Michael*

Michael: ...wouldn't know.

Danny: When I was married, you know what Michael often said to me?

Amanda: Please stop sleeping with other people?

Amanda: Danny just insisted Michael and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter.

Amanda: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.

Michael: So, how long have you and Amanda been together?

Danny: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Amanda and I are not together. No. No.

Michael: Really? Sixteen ‘nos’? Really?

Amanda, watching Michael and Danny from afar: Two Bros, Chillin in a hot tub. Five feet apart because they think they’re not gay, BUT THEY REALLY ARE-

Amanda: Danny and I got married!!

Michael: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.

Michael: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Amanda: Can't relate.

Danny: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Danny: Michael, I’m afraid.

Michael: Just stay close to Amanda.

Danny: That's why I’m afraid.

Amanda: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Danny: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?

Michael: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

Danny: Pfft, you should meet Michael, they're such a tsundere.

Amanda: They... they just stabbed you.

Danny: So cute.

Danny: Sorry, who are you?

Michael: Oh, I’m Michael.

Danny: Oh yeah, I’ve heard about you from Amanda.

Danny: Are you their friend or something?

Michael: No.

Michael: I’m their therapist

Amanda: Did you take out Danny as I requested?

Michael: Danny has been taken out, yes.

Amanda: You have my grat-

Michael: It was a great restaurant.

Michael: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.

Michael: Danny proposed afterwards- we’re filing the wedding papers.

Amanda: What happened to Danny?

Michael: They died.

Amanda: They what?

Michael: They died, but they’re okay.

Amanda: …Can you please clarify?

Danny: Clarification is for the weak.

Amanda: Please pray for Danny.

Michael: What happened to them?

Amanda: Nothing, they’re just very stupid.

Amanda: Hey, what’s up?

Michael: The sky.

Amanda: No, I meant like, what are you doing?

Michael: Oh, Danny.

Danny: *highfives Michael* Nice!

Amanda: Hey, Danny, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

Danny: Yeah.

Amanda: And you, Michael?

Michael: Umm... yes?

Amanda: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Michael: Did they just-

Amanda: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts!

Danny, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack.

Michael, deadpanning at Danny: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.

Amanda: I just had a long talk with Danny and Michael about hitting and now they are yelling “it’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other.

Michael: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Amanda: Wasn’t Danny with you?

Danny: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Amanda: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!

Amanda: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-

Michael: I did?

Amanda: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Michael.

Amanda: *walks away*

Michael:

Michael: They're gone Danny.

Danny, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in their mouth: Twankh uh!

Danny: Amanda got into a fight.

Michael: That’s bad.

Michael:

Michael: Did they win?

Amanda: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator.

Danny: Yup.

Michael: Maybe the generator is watching us.

Amanda: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added?

Amanda: ...

Amanda: Wait—

Danny: We need a diversion. I say Amanda gets naked.

Michael: No.

Danny: I could get naked.

The squad: NO!!!

Amanda: H-how do you ask someone out?

Danny: Well, first-

Michael: Don't ask them, they asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot.

Amanda: ...And you said yes?

Danny: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Michael’*

Amanda: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

Amanda: *sucking on a popsicle*

Danny: Pfft, you practicing for when Michael gets here?

Amanda: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle*

Danny: *Concern*

Danny: God, I love Amanda.

Michael: Yeah, you fucking better.

Amanda: What have you done with Michael?

Danny: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

Michael: Why don't we just call it, "M.C. Donald's?"

Amanda: Because it just sounds like a stupid rapper's name.

Danny: It'd just be like- "Eyo, it's ya boy, M.C. Donald!"

Michael: What do people in relationships even do?

Danny: Care about someone with your whole heart and dedicate your life to making them happy.

Michael: Okay. Didn't ask.

Amanda: Asks question

Amanda: "Didn't ask"

Michael: Thanks for the play by play, Captain Fuck.

Amanda: You get turned back into a baby but you retain all your skills and memory, what do you do?

Danny: Eat a nickel.

Amanda: A reminder: You have retained all your skills and memories.

Michael: Eat a nickel.

Amanda: Ok.

Danny: I have locked Amanda in a cage designed by their own art. Oh, they have been well and truly hoist by their own petard.

Michael: Could you put it another way? I didn’t understand a word of that.

Danny: I’m blackmailing them.

Michael: Oh, happy days.

Michael: *heading out to see Amanda*

Danny: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

Michael: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

Michael: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?

Amanda: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"?

Danny: Ya know... it might be.

Michael: So, what’s Danny's type?

Amanda: Brown eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humor, turtle lover.

Michael: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends.

Amanda: Did I mention oblivious?

Michael: Yeah, why?

Amanda: Okay, just making sure.

These are ones weren't from the generator.

Amanda: why does all our food keep blowing up?

Danny: :3

Amanda: Danny. Why does our food contain explosives?

Danny: :333

Amanda: Why were you given explosives in the first place?!

Danny: :3333333

Amanda: sup, Daniel

Danny: the fuck did you just call me?

Amanda: Daniel?

Danny: :0

Danny: oh how dare >:0

Amanda: what? Isn't Danny a nickname for Daniel?

Danny: no??? Who the fuck names their kid Daniel?

Amanda: who the fuck names their kid Danny?

Danny: my dad, apparently

Michael: do you wanna know how I actually hurt my ankle?

Danny: yes

Michael: I was hula hooping on the roof in Haddonfield

Danny: why are you telling me this?

Michael: because no one will ever believe you

Danny: you sick son of a bitch

[cartoonjessie]

Moana 2 - Spoiler-review part 2

Part 2 of my spoiler review gets even more spoilery! Part 1 is here so you can keep up

However, I was game for the adventures and shenanigans anyways - I'm quite easy to please in that regard. I enjoyed myself during this movie and I loved seeing Moana and Maui reunite, but it happened SO LATE in the movie. (second half) How it happened though, I thought was quite beautiful. He sees the crew (doesn't ring a bell), Pua (doesn't ring a bell), then suddenly Heihei and only THEN does he realize Moana is there, in danger, and his entire demeanor entirely changes. There might not be a lot of character development but they did keep the characters in-character at least! And sometimes there are these character moments that really make you remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. The vulnerability Maui shows in regards to keeping Moana safe is - chef's kiss - sorry that's something I just gobble up as a shipper. I didn't mind the new characters either though… I will say this… Simea, while cute, is so obviously just a little toddler they put in the movie so they can market more merchandise towards other little toddlers, just like little Moana was a good merchandise hit back in 2016. Damn you Disney stop being so evil and obvious and making these characters so damn cute!

Of the three characters that join Moana's crew, I thought Moni was such a sweetheart - and I really chuckled a few times at David Fane's character Kele. There was a bit of character development throughout the movie for him. Just a tiny bit. So maybe there was some character development after all! But Moni and Loto remained kind of static, though they seemed like fine additions to the crew.

The "villain" (should I even call her that?)… meh. Kind of bland for me. She's… there. But vague. Eh… I don't even think I wanna write anything about her.

Oh, coming back to Maui not recognizing Pua… Maui also doesn't know Simea (as showcased at the very end when he goes to Motunui and asks to speak to Simea) - which means… Maui hasn't visited Motunui once in all those years? Oof. I mean I predicted it in a fanfic once but man I thought I was just being dramatic, not realistic. XD

Let's also talk about the elephant in the room… what on earth happened during the big battle? It's left a little ambiguous and this is where I get really really really spoilery as opposed to mildly spoilery before… So… Maui loses his… tattoos. Which, honestly, bit weird seeing Maui without tattoos it's like seeing him without clothes. XD It's like "PUT ON A SWEATER MAN" Did he become human, fully, for that moment? (Yeah, moment, he somehow gets the magic and stuff back) Then Moana "dies" - Maui sings a sad mourning song (ok honestly I was quite moved by all this and dear lord the emotion the animators put in there, good job on that) - then Moana… is revived by… by spirits? And now… she gets a magical tattoo??? SHE GETS… POWERS??? DEMI GOD MOANA?

I mean… my shipper brain kind of exploded cause like - hey - two demi-gods together? Oh yes, more for me to gobble up, yum yum yum. I love what that means for the future for the both of them.

And then, the entire movie is about uniting other people and suddenly there's like a bazillion boats out there of other people on the ocean? Very interesting, very interesting… There's certainly going to be adventures in the future.

Honestly, I'm looking forward to Moana 3 but dear lord don't make it a Disney + series OR if you do, DO NOT rework it in a movie when you realize there's some good stuff in there.

There is some good stuff in Moana 2 - don't get me wrong - but moving an animated series into your Thanksgiving movie is not great… Not great, Disney. Dedicate yourself to the success of Moana 1 (and Moana 2) and make Moana 3 on-par with Moana 1 again. I'll come and watch Moana 3 for sure, you haven't lost me as a viewer yet. But it better be given the respect it deserves as a franchise!

[fallen-gravity]

silly little headcanon: Maui doesn't need to sleep all that often because he's a demigod, but because he was born human he still occasionally feels tired and sleeps anyway. Sometimes while he sleeps, he actually finds it more comforting to shapeshift into an animal and sleep that way; he's a big guy who takes up a lot of space, so sometimes it feels nice to just. turn into a little animal and curl up in a little ball to sleep.

Sometimes when Moana loses track of him on a voyage, when she isn't sure she saw him take off and leave, she ends up finding him in the cargo hold, shapeshifted into a little pig, curled up and sleeping besides Pua. She'll never tell him she found him like that, of course. She needs her blackmail and cameras haven't been invented yet, and also it's so stupid cute to see this all powerful demigod just curled up into this tiny little thing snoring away.

He even finds himself doing it on Motunui, even though he'd definitely be offered a place to stay if he wanted one. Sometimes villagers will just happen across a "weird looking lizard" just baking out in the sun, fast asleep. Sometimes they see a massive hawk nesting on the roof of Moana's fale. Maybe sometimes he even shifts in his sleep to some animal that doesn't even make sense for where he touched down to rest. Maybe one day he wakes up to a huge crowd surrounding him on the beach, Moana included, because oops, he transformed into a whale in his sleep, and a bunch of poor confused fishermen thought he was some poor old regular whale that beached itself by mistake.

Something about using his powers at rest. For comfort, rather than for power and aggresion.

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

What’s your take on all these alpha male/female dating strategy types who seem to deeply dislike the other sex (eg always talking about hypergamy) yet still want to be with them?

Also, do you have an explanation for why there seem to be fewer female incels than male ones? I met a woman who’s part of a community of women who have never been ‘chosen’ for romantic relationships and I looked at it and they weren’t advocating for harm against men (as far as I saw) but they did express the view that the common assumption that women are more selective than men isn’t true - they claimed that the men who complain about never being chosen by women themselves would not go out with the women of that online community (‘undesirable’ women as they called themselves) whereas they, the women, were willing to be with these men. As a man, do you think this impression is accurate?

I find the PUA conclusions about female attraction interesting because through trial and error they seem to have hit upon some scraps of truth that tell us a lot about wider reality, but unfortunately their path to those small fragments of truth seems to unavoidably leave them entirely soulless and incapable of love. That terribly desolate worldview strips us all down to only the most basic biological urges, and so sex becomes just a commodity that women possess and men want to get access to, by all means necessary.

When it comes to women, it gets a little greyer, because, biologically, I'm not convinced the majority of women are actually capable of true, self-sacrificing love for a man, except in the short term, either until they get a child from him or they feel they could do better elsewhere. There are exceptions, of course, and we have examples of women who worshiped the man they were with until death, but they are few and far between. I think I've only actually seen one long-term relationship/marriage in my life where I could say that was the case.

The women who would consider themselves involuntarily celibate are either going to be physically unattractive to most men (i.e. morbidly obese or facially disfigured in some way), or have unrealistic expectations that most men won't be able to meet, or simply have limiting beliefs about men or themselves that get in the way and dissuade them before they start. But women are more selective than men, and always have been, so the good news for women is that there really is some man out there who will consider you the most attractive creature on two legs, if you can only get yourself into the right pool to find him.

I remember years ago a new woman came to work at the place I worked, and though people were friendly to her, we all recognized she was comically - almost cartoonishly - prim and tight-assed, wearing a corset to hide her plumpness, scarves and pearls permanently around her neck to distract from her hard chin, and the most unflatteringly tweedy schoolmarmish clothes imaginable. Her facial expressions were always rigid, twitchy and fearful, and you never felt you got to know the real her.

Eventually she left for a different job but a few months later we heard had started dating a sales rep that occasionally did work for our company, and one day she accompanied him when he visited just to pop in and say hello, and she looked amazing: completely transformed. She'd grown her hair out, lost just a little weight; she was wearing a leather jacket and jeans, and a wide-necked white t-shirt showing off her throat. She was positively glowing with health and love, and her every movement showed she liked herself, her body and her life, and all this was due to finding the right man to love her and allow her to soften and bloom. I'll always remember how astonishing a change that was, and I very much hope every woman finds a man who can do that for her.