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#LMAO I AM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF -
skitty-kirby · 2 months
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Decided to take a small break from Art Fight (combination of sudden bad internet connection + slight burnout) so I made a little midnight shitpost to not get rusty hhhh So here we got more shenanigans: -Skitty is deeply afraid of spiders, her friend Scarlette owns a pet tarantula named "Helix" that she likes to tease her with. RIP those support beams. And my understanding of perspective LMAO -Blade does absolutely speak in keysmash. :^) -Did I ever tell y'all about the time I had an OCxCanon ship of my own? Except the only OC I had almost 11 years ago during my early DeviantArt days was Skitty and uh. Yeah. While it's obviously not canon anymore, it's still something I like to poke fun at every now and then. xD
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fearfulandhungry · 2 months
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Fighting gender dysphoria by imagining Enki Ankarian from Fear & Hunger helping give me my testosterone shots
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candiiee · 3 months
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Why did Katsuki Bakugo in character.ai refer to his dick as his ‘reproductive equipment’
WHEEZING
Also this- I’m wheezing
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Have a knuckles for your time
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a-lil-perspective · 8 months
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Hello wtf is this last season of the Bad Batch.😂😂
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fuzzyunicorn · 7 days
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Tryin’ a lil experiment today but I already know my hypothesis is correct
#babe what’s goin’ on is I get harassed all the time at work by Satanists (yeah I knew the man u all sent yesterday was a henchman & he was#sooooo pissed off I didn’t rise to his bait babe lmao what a fuckin’ drama queen)#as well as mainly being harassed by Christians who in reality r Satanists (I’ve already explained this) & babe guess what? I’ve been#harassed exclusively by men more than twice my age who stand over me (I’m sitting down) & get in my face I’ll show you some of the videos#I’ve taken of me getting harasesed & babe yesterday some 40 year old man w his 60 year old dad told me god loves me & I was responded w#thank you & you too! and they got so fuckin’ pissed off 😭😂 like u men feel like real men ganging up & harassing a young woman who is sittin#down says a lot about u men… ur all big n billy bad ass when ur trying to intimidate a small young woman it says a lot!#so babe the harassment started when I was told to stop wearing black n specifically all black so now I’m gonna wear all black again & so far#satanic Christian’s haven’t said a word & r scared to even look at me. I knew a man was shot talking about me so I stopped & stared at him &#he literally scurried off like the rodent he is :)#so back to all black I am! u🖤 know how much I love to wear all black so it’s a win-win-win situation for me!#oh btw babe this made me laugh when those men said that shit to me & after my response they said we know god loves us & god told me in the#moment no he does not & he was going to directly cause them a car accident (god & the OG said the price of fuckin’ w me is death after they#r done harassing me bc they come up & give their speech then walk away THEN walk BACK to re-escalate it so they said Death will be the#penalty so a bunch of people here r getting into fatal car accidents god keeps showing me what he does to them)#he said he doesn’t allow them Healing Showers after death which is standard procedure he just perp walks them straight to Judgement & curses#their bloodlines this shit is serious & u all need to stop bc harassing someone isn’t worth dying over & that’s the point god himself is#proving he said men will face severe consequences for what they do to women & feel so comfortable doing so
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ratwars · 3 months
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i blocked you for writing about being a sadist in tags and then unblocked a week later because i might have overreacted a teensy weensy bit only to end up being plagued by fantasies of you kicking me and stepping on me until i cry. literally the most embarrassing fucking thing. never change you are perfect.
Pshhh omg. No need to be embarrassed tho dear anon.
Tell me something on anon you wouldn't off anon
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if theres one thing that differentiates mine and sawashiro its that sawashiro is JUST a LITTLE silly. on a microscopic level he is SUPER MINUTELY goofy
#snap chats#LET ME EXPLAIN PUT THE TOMATO DOWN#Evidently rggjo is Blatantly more silly so to speak. from a comparative standpoint#but y7jo has a modicum of that i prommy#like mine just aint silly like that... he's very serious about everything its hard for me to think of him being a goof#the closest he was to being goofy was before slappin haruka with that grin ☠️#i would never forget his story time with daigo in rggo dont you ever accuse me of that again im just saying ITSA RARE OCCURRENCE#it's hard to imagine sawashiro being a goof too but there's like. VERY rare scenarios where it is possible if we try hard enough#case in point. bullying ichi BYE--#ACCIDENTALLY PROVING MY POINT WITH THAT TATTOO COMIC I DID damn maybe i do know what im talking about sometimes#like 3/4 times jo smiles it's with ichi. a wholesome sentiment if not for the context of each time LMAO#he gets his kicks from bullying ichi and thats horrible but hilarious at the same time#first time its before he slugs him and mitsu for the money then theres their lil reunion in chap 2#and a PERSONAL favorite of mine his lil smirk he does before he grabs the sword off the wall. like hes a lil goofy i sense it#that smirk still makes me laugh like bro shut up LMAO hes about to beat my ass and im gonna be mad about it#like things mine does are surely silly and goofy dont get me wrong. his comedys unintentional sawashiro's trying JUST a lil me thinks#a classic maneuver from a depressed mfer this shouldnt be surprising in retrospect#i say that as if mine dont got issues....... lol...#ok im done rambling where the fuck am i gon with this post. bye
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mars-ipan · 1 year
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i just exhibited SO much self-control you have no fucking idea
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chounaifu · 2 years
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Likable Person Test
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I just think he's neat
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ferniliciousness · 2 months
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Describe your Inquisitor with one clip
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blood-loving-leech · 8 months
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my ex wants me to kms which is fucking hilarious considering he’s the one who stopped me from killing myself before
like babe idk who you think you are but generally if you want someone dead you don’t stop them from dying
so like, i think being angry that i am still alive is actually very much a you problem, a skill issue if you will
idc who you are, you kept me alive and now you’re dealing with the consequences, that’s not a me problem sorry not sorry dude
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kissmefriendly · 2 years
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Mary Gray’s goddamn masterpiece “I Try” has got me crying on this fine February night for literally no reason besides the raw emotion and poetry and the happy music that’s so bittersweet and
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pirateprincessblog · 2 months
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let me help
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𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫.: after giving birth and getting bored at home, you come back to work. nothing has changed, except the pair of eyes that look at you in a different light in the corner of the room. 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: choi jongho x f!reader 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4k 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: singlemother!reader, pervy!jongho, needy!reader, dom!jongho 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: milf!reader, breastplay, oral fixation, breastfeeding (LIKE TWO DROPS BEAR WITH ME), dry humping
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none? 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: this was so NOT inspired by a crazy reddit post i saw on tiktok lmao, also reader is not necessarily big boobed just imagine whatever u want
𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲.
***
being pregnant is hard. giving birth is harder. raising an actual pocket sized human was supposed to be the hardest. yet there she is, your own child, sleeping in her crib without a single care in the world. it's been weeks since you gave birth now, and you don't know what you're doing right, but this baby might be the calmest baby in the world. almost always asleep, and when awake, laughing her ass off until she tires herself to sleep again.
frankly, you are bored. you were ready for crying, screaming, projectile fluids, messes, and whatnot. however, this child appears to be toying with you. it laughs in your face, almost as if mocking you for having to stay at home. besides sleeping, she eats quite well. your breasts are beginning to feel sensitive, but you're not complaining just yet, in case it gets worse.
"mom, i want to-" you start speaking one day, switching channels on the tv as the baby naps on your chest.
"hush! you're gonna wake her up!" the woman on the other couch whisper-yells at you.
"you did not just say that. she's passed out, look at her!" you gently pat her back, seeking a reaction. but when she only exhales in her sleep, you look at your mother with a raised eyebrow. "see? like a little drunkie."
"fine, fine. whatever. what did you want to say?"
"i want to go back to work."
"absolutely not."
"why not?!"
"you just had a baby!"
"yeah, weeks ago!"
the woman sighs, slapping her hands on her thighs in disbelief. "are you crazy?"
rolling your eyes, you sit up straight, picking the baby up and placing her on the blanket on the couch. she yawns in her sleep, and her small hands reach out to search for anything to grab on for comfort. she finds the ends of your sleeves, squeezing the fabric between her chubby fingers before dozing off again.
"mom, i honestly don't know what to do with myself anymore. i cleaned the house so many times for the past few weeks, as if i committed a crime and am trying to erase all the evidence. i have no desire for any hobbies or sports, i just want to go back to work. could you watch her for a few hours every now and then? it's not like it's every day."
just in time, your father enters the living room. seeing that he has helped himself to a bottle of beer your ex has left in the basement, you can't help but laugh.
"what is it?" he asks, noticing the difference in the energy of the room.
"your daughter wants to go back to work."
"oh, my! congratulati-"
"no! you're not supposed to be on her side." your mother slaps his shoulder, causing him to frown at her and gently push her off with that same shoulder.
"come on, mary. she's gonna die of boredom. besides, i'm sure she can adjust her schedule and shorten her working hours?"
you nod, feeling grateful that at least someone understands you. you don't give your mother a chance to protest, you wouldn't listen to her anyway. your fingers are already dialing the company, notifying them of your return.
***
your makeup and hair station awaits you just like you left it: the silly polaroids still taped on the corners of it, along with random bows and flowers. a small bouquet of fresh flowers awaits you, with an attached note and a baby store gift card.
𝓽𝓸 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓪𝓿𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓼𝓽𝔂𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽, 𝔀𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾!
𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓪𝓿𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓬𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓼,
𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓮𝔃
soon after, you are bombarded with hugs and questions, first from the members then the staff.
"wow, i can't believe a whole baby came out of you! that's so weird."
wooyoung earns himself a smack to the back of his head for that, hongjoong and seonghwa looking at him disapprovingly. "you can't say that, you dumbass."
"what? that's incredible! did it hurt?"
"wooyoung, don't be so-"
"oh, it's fine. let him ask." you come to his defense. "it did hurt, like a bitch. my ex had a big head, you figure out the rest."
the rest of the day goes fast, boys enjoying asking you questions and telling you about what you've missed, and you happily answering those questions and praising them for their progress. one person doesn't speak to you, and instead chooses to sit in the corner of the room, scrolling on his phone. jongho has barely looked at you after giving you a hug and congratulating you, opting for silence instead of engaging in the conversation. you don't talk to him, instead giving him peace.
was he angry that you left? especially during an important time, when they grew as a group and needed as much help as possible? after all, you weren't only their stylist, you were there when they needed help, comforting and whatnot. you're probably the only one who knew of their crushes, secret short relationships and struggles. and you've all kept it that way for a long time, and they still trust you. not once have you betrayed their trust, and being older than them, it makes it easier for them to lay all their concerns in you.
you're sad that you weren't there to experience coachella with them, but they made sure to show you picture and videos, even gave you mingi's bucket hat that had an autograph of other coachella performers on it.
"oh, i can't take this." you try declining, shoving the hat back in mingi's hands.
"sure you can. just take it."
after going back and forth with him, you finally give up, taking the hat and placing it on the corner of the mirror, as if it was wearing it. one by one, they are done with their preparations and leave the room. there's still time until the show, yet the screaming outside is so loud one would think the boys went out already. jongho stays sitting on the couch, not giving you any attention. it gives you time to adjust your bra, your sensitive nipples rubbing against the fabric and giving you a hard time. you wish you could just take it off, but with your luck, you would lactate all over the place.
having a sundress on doesn't make it any easier, your flesh painfully starting to poke out of it. not only did you not fix the situation, you also caused them to become swollen and painful. you sigh, defeated. the only thing left to do is finish jongho quickly and go home. maybe your mother was right. what were you thinking, wearing the dress anyway? guess those oversized clothes during your pregnancy grew onto you. before, you wouldn't be caught dead in a hoodie or a simple t-shirt outside of your home.
"jjong?" you call once you prepare the station for him. when he doesn't reply, your raise your head to look at him through the mirror, and find him already staring at you. "jongho?"
he jolts, cheeks painted pink. "yes?"
"will you come over so i can finish you?"
"yeah, sure."
the young man sits in the chair, squirming for the most of the time. everything seems to go smoothly, until you have to get closer to do his eye makeup. just a hint of eyeliner and eyeshadow seems to be taking ages now, with jongho shuffling and blinking for a worrying amount of time.
"jongho, sweetheart, i need you to stay still if you want to be out of here soon."
by the time he listens, the liquid liner has dried off on the brush, and you turn around to reach into the black bottle to reapply it. a sharp pain goes through one of your breasts, causing you to yelp and drop the brush and spill the bottle all over the counter. jongho opens his eyes, then sits up straight, worry painted on his features.
"are you okay?"
"yeah, just- give me a second."
you hold onto your breasts, back turned to him. still in pain, you don't care if he sees what you're doing. all you want is for it to stop.
"does it... hurt?" he asks carefully, peeking at you through the mirror.
you hum, gently squeezing them in hopes to relieve it.
"can i help in any way?"
"no, there's not much you can do. unless you want to be breastfed so my milk ducts get unclogged." you laugh awkwardly, eyes still fixed on the mess you've created on the counter.
when you don't hear any laughing from his side, you turn around, only to find him dead serious. you stutter, embarrassment flooding your cheeks as you realize you can't really joke about these things with them. after all, they are your clients.
"sorry, didn't mean to make you uncomfort-"
"i'll do it."
at that moment, the door opens, san poking his head through. "hey dude, there's like only a handful of snacks left for you, you better hurry up."
"it's fine." jongho replies, as calm as ever.
you still stand there, processing what he said. san shrugs, then the door closes again, and the man in front of you has his full attention on you.
"will that help relieve the pain?"
"i mean- i- i usually just breastfeed my daughter and it goes away. i could try pumping-"
"i'll help." he is persistent, still maintaining a poker face. it makes you lower your gaze, eyes fixed on his hands resting in his lap. he makes it so difficult to read his emotions.
"jongho, you- you can't be saying stuff like that."
you've never stuttered like this in front of anyone. not even your ex husband had you feeling this nervous under his gaze, not at the beginning of your relationship, not at the end. not ever. yet choi jongho looks at you so intensely, making your cheeks hot and your brain a mess.
"let me just finish you off quickly and then i can go home and solve the issue."
the man sits there for a few seconds, biting the inside of his cheek. he looks at your hands, still cupping your breasts, and without a word leaves his chair.
"wait, where are you-"
he locks the door, then tries it a few times to make sure nobody can get in. you stand still, afraid to move or say anything. not until he does something. he seems to take a few moments to think about the situation he has created. he said it so causally. just what was going on in his mind?
is the new state you're in doing something to him? is that why he was refusing to interact with you?
"jongho, just get back in the chair so you can be a free man. come on."
"no. i want to help."
"fine. what, do you want me to just whip out my tits and let you do whatever to them?" you roll your eyes, avoiding to look at him.
you miss the way he smirks, and only look at him once he sits back on the chair in front of you. you yelp, hands flying to his shoulders as he pulls you to sit on his lap. there is more than just wanting to help, you're sure of it now.
his fingers toy with the outline of your sundress, knuckles caressing the swollen flesh along the way. you can't help but shiver, hands still firmly planted on his shoulders.
"sit," he orders quietly, once he notices you're hovering over his lap. when you fail to listen, he pushes you down, right on his hard crotch. "may i?"
you nod, hurriedly, as if he will change his mind if you take too long. you haven't been touched, not even by yourself, for months. ever since your husband left you, right at the beginning of your pregnancy, you were constantly nervous, sick, and whatnot. pleasure was the last thing on your mind. and even though jongho is trying to do a nice thing, your brain cannot help but think of it as a sexual interaction.
which is why you are dripping already, his fingers barely touching you as he unties the little bow that holds the front of the sundress together. he looks at your plain white bra, and both of your realize just how perfect of a choice you made for today. in hooks in the front, and it takes jongho less than a second to unhook it with a single hand.
your swollen breasts now freely spill from the loose fabric, freeing your sensitive and swollen nipples that are begging for release. the dark haired man cups them, gently kneading as if he does that every day. he doesn't squeeze them, and you are thankful that he knows what he is doing. and impressed.
his thumbs swipe over your nipples, and a hiss escapes your mouth.
"hurts?"
you nod, face twisting with pain as he tests the waters and tries various motions on them.
"they're... bigger." he comments.
"yeah... i'm quite sad i don't get to keep them."
he chuckles, and so do you, finally feeling a little relaxed. nothing about your current state should make you relaxed. you should be jumping off that chair, finish his look at go home. not...  subconsciously dry hump him.
"you know, i thought my crush on you would go away when you got married. it didn't. i thought it would go away when you got pregnant. it didn't. i thought it would for sure go away when you gave birth. and guess what? it only got worse."
with your jaw dropped, all you can do is stare at him. so there was a hidden motive after all.
"i'm going to put it in my mouth now. is that okay?"
"jongho, none of this is okay." you say, your brain working against your heart. and your pussy.
"it's fine. i'm just helping you. that's all."
"yeah, well, putting my nipple in your mouth isn't what one might consider help- oh!" he swipes his tongue over the hardened nipple, finally making you shut up.
his hand cups your breast, gently squeezing it before he attaches his lips to it. your hands instinctively grab at his hair, almost shoving his head into your chest. he chuckles, enjoying how desperate you are when he hasn't done anything properly yet.
your hips grind on his, and you aren't aware of it until the surface beneath you gets harder and harder. jongho grunts against your chest when you roll your hips properly, and it makes you stop. you try pushing him away, ready to start apologizing over and over again. but jongho simply lets go of your breasts, only to put his hands on your ass and help you roll your hips again.
his lips finally start sucking on the tense bud, causing you to yelp in pain. he squeezes your ass, as a way to comfort you. his tongue swipes over your nipple every now and then between sucking, just to soothe you. one hand cups your breast again, gently squeezing it in hopes that it will help.
this time, he is the one to yelp. you look down, embarrassment flooding your cheeks once again. your fingers have tangled themselves in his dark locks, accidentally pulling a bit harder and causing him pain.
"it's alright," he assures, smiling at you. "should i continue?"
"yes, please."
he wraps his lips around the nipple once again, sucking softly. the sight has your panties drenched; your client sitting on your chair, sucking on your tit, while you hold onto him for dear life and grind on him. the rough fabric of his jeans, combined with the fabric of your underwear, deliciously rubs against your clit, causing the pleasure to start building up in your lower stomach. you've almost forgotten about the pain, jongho's now swollen lips kissing and tugging at both of your nipples, and your crotch getting all the attention.
you no longer care about being quiet, moans and gasps shamelessly multiplying and getting louder, hips working relentlessly and fingers tugging his hair. never getting this close before, you force yourself to stop and pull away from him.
"what, what is it?" he asks, shiny eyes looking up at you.
"nothing, i-" you look down, picking the hem of your dress up and revealing a wet spot on his crotch. "i'm going to... you know."
it feels illegal to say the word.
"cum?" he finishes for you.
"yes."
"why did you stop?"
you sigh. your hands caress his cheeks and hair, fixing his messy state. "it's been a while. i don't want to cum with my clothes on. on my client's lap."
jongho takes a moment to think. you find out that it is not a good thing to let him do that. he picks you up, carrying you all the way to the couch where he sat. you find yourself laying on the soft surface, while jongho places a pillow under your head, and one under your lower back.
"can you hold this here for me?" he scrunches the ends of your dress under your chest, and you listen. "do you feel any better?"
"i mean... it's still clogged. maybe try a little harder?"
he takes it as a challenge, almost jumping on you like a starved animal. your hands now grip at the fabric on his back, nails digging into it. he doesn't protest, instead burying his head further into your chest and leaving a few feathery kisses before he takes your breast in his mouth again. just as you asked, he sucks harder. it hurts, more than before. your moans turn into whines and almost sobs, fingers hopelessly clawing at his back but not yet asking him to stop. tears threaten to spill down your cheeks, and you can barely contain them.
the man uses his hand to massage the other breast, caressing it, and the other to spread your legs so he can fit between them better. instead of going back to cup the breast he is currently working on, he slides it up your thigh, all the was to the outline of your panties. he pushes them aside, then gently brings his fingers to your folds.
"you don't- ah!" he finds your clit, giving it an experimental rub, "you don't have to do that."
"i want to." he mumbles, voice lower and raspier than you've ever heard from him before. sensing that you have stopped breathing for a second, jongho looks up at you, mouth still wrapped around your sensitive bud. he only raises and eyebrow and smirks against you, before continuing his actions, eyes not once leaving yours.
you weren't a fan of keeping your eyes open during sexual encounters. your husband didn't care. but this? jongho seems to be aware of the power his stare holds, mostly because his fingers effortlessly slip past your folds and inside your aching hole. you can't find it in yourself to look away, too lost in the way his lips look on you, and his body fits between your legs.
"harder-" you whine. "suck harder."
he hums, sucking harder and harder, while his fingers slowly start abusing your hole. he graces you with deep strokes, knuckles disappearing inside of you and fingers scissoring. the room is filled with squelching, kissing and sucking noises, along with your shallow breathing and a few moans and yelps. his thumb finds your clit once again, rubbing it as he continues fingering you. a tingling sensation appears in your lower stomach again, this time faster and stronger.
"jjong-" you gasp, liquid spilling from your breast and in his mouth. "fuck!"
he turns to the other one, repeating the process, all while his hand inches you closer and closer to the release you haven't tasted in months. white liquid drips down both of your breasts, nipples now more tense than ever.
he grunts along with you, grinding his hips on your leg. the man doesn't waste a single moment before licking away all the liquid that decorates your shaking body. the sight sends you over the edge, along with his fingers in your hole and his soft panting.
with your head thrown back over the edge of the couch, you find your body twitching as waves of pleasure wash over your body. even after jongho is done cleaning your mess that he caused, you have trouble catching your breath and calming yourself.
"hey, hey. i got you." he speaks softly, cupping your face.
he looks at you with different eyes now; soft and caring. a complete opposite of the lustful and intense one you just saw moments ago.
"feeling better?"
you nod, gulping. "i- thank you?"
he laughs, then plants a kiss on your forehead. "thank you."
"what for?"
"for making my fantasy come true."
"you're crazy," you laugh.
"for you, yes. now, let me help you get cleaned and dressed, so i can feel like i have shred of dignity before i ask you out."
"i- oh. but wait, what about you? did you...?"
he stands up, giving you space to stretch your limbs. he reveals a wet patch on his crotch, and not the one you made. "yeah... no sane man could survive this without cumming in his pants. you can't blame me."
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kajaono · 2 years
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Ich habe 7.434 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet
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Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:
@kajaono
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Ich habe 7.429 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt
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Longest Tag: 128 characters
#they only good thing was mrs and me musgrove trying to hook up their daughters with wentworth and everyone goes: mum! 🙈 dad! 🙈
Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:
#5
Your Sandman:
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My Sandman:
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1.451 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 20. August 2022
#4
Geralt keeps replacing Roach with another Roach for years now, only fair that Roach gets her revenge
1.563 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 30. Oktober 2022
#3
Canon poly relationships
Todays media gets more diverse every day but we still have a huge lack of poly relationships. So i decided to collect all the poly relationships I am aware of and that are confirmed CANON in this post. Sadly they are often limited to three people and not really diverse, mostly containing white, abled bodied, cis people.
Be aware this posts contains slight SPOILERS. I will mention if they are still together and alive. Feel free to add further confirmed poly relationships. I will update that post from time to time.
Updated: 3.12.2022
Polo/Cayetana/Valerio - ELITE
This triad first appears in season 3. Polo and Valerio are  in the show confirmed as bisexual. Polo is already shown in an another poly relationship in season 1 but it is not necessarily healthy and not 100% build on consent so I am not featuring them here. The triad below is really happy, healthy and cute. Sadly they split up by the end of season 3 and one of them dies.
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Eliot/Parker/Hardison - Leverage
They are confirmed canon poly outside the show by the writer. The ending of the first arc can be easily read as a wedding vow. The woman , Parker, gets kissing scenes with both dudes. And they are all really affectionated toward eachother with a lot of hugs. There is a second arc: „Leverage Redemption“. I haven’t watched it yet, so I can not say how they treat the OT3 there but as far as I am aware they are still together, happy and alive. And Parker is confirmed to be on the spectrum.
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blackbirdie1234 · 8 months
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Hey!! I love your fic's so much!
Can I request a Jacob x Fem!reader where they are friends but reader has a crush on Jacob. When he shifts he leaves and does what he did to Bella like ignoring her and Billy won't answer the door.
Mutual pinning but neither knows. He imprints on reader.
Thank you so much keep up the great writing :)
Also, I was wondering if you are going to be doing the vampires as well?
Hi!, Thank you so much for the request! I appreciate the kind words <3
I will be doing fanfics for the vampires as well! As of right now I only have the wolves, but I am planning on making a master list for the vamps and Bella. If you want to make a request for them I can definitely do that! I am planning on making a fic for Jasper soon!
A/N: Not proofread! I aged Jacob up a bit, you both are seventeen here. I didn't know exactly how to end this but I think I might do a spin-off series off of this fic so if you are interested in that let me know. Also, sorry for the late posting I am currently sick and going through it lmao. Hope you enjoy <3
Warnings: Jacob being an ass, cursing, angst, Y/N with a backbone.
Wolf’s Out Of The Bag
Jacob Black x Fem!reader
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You were staring blankly down at your phone. Ten phone calls, ten phone calls sent to voicemail. Ten desperate, pleading voicemails. No callback, no text, nothing received. You snapped your phone closed and threw it down on the bed.
It had been two weeks since Jacob stormed off from your house after getting into a small disagreement, at least it started off that way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"It's nothing you need to worry about, Jacob," You grumbled with a slight roll of your eyes. Hoping he would drop the subject.
He was giving you an irritated look. You lightly pushed him with your shoulder giving him a small smile.
"I didn't think you'd care that much, it was one date and it's never happening again," you noted with a light-hearted laugh to ease the tension.
He turned to face you, irritation turning to anger. You could actually feel the heat radiating off of his body next to yours.
"Wow you must be really dumb, I mean how could you even think about going on a date with that pig. He's not good enough for you, but then again if you were desperate enough to give him a chance maybe I'm wrong" He barked getting more bitter with each word.
You look at him in shock.
"Why would you say that to me" You said not believing what you were hearing. "It's really none of your business who I go out with, you aren't my bodyguard, you don't have to 'protect' me. When did you get the right to decide who is 'good enough' for me? Huh? You're being a dick and I don't know why but it better change right now." You say sternly. He has never acted like this before and this sudden behavior change is not sitting well with you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jacob left shortly after that. He had gotten so angry he was shaking, you can't even remember the words that were thrown after that. Now, he wasn't answering the phone. Billy said he came down with mono, you didn't know how much you believed it but decided to trust that Billy wouldn't lie to you.
Jacob was your best friend, you loved him a lot. You had never had such an intense fight, you never thought he would react the way he did. You only went on the stupid date to get Jacob out of your head, you thought that maybe you would get over Jacob if you found someone else to pay attention to. You were wrong, no one made you feel the way that Jacob did. Jacob made you feel at home, you couldn't explain why but it was like he was the person you were meant to be with. He was the one who understood you fully and would never judge you for anything you said or did. Until now......
You were deeply hurt by what Jacob said to you, and if he thought that you would get over it he was surely mistaken. He had never said anything more hurtful to you in your entire friendship. You had thought about just letting it go, letting life run its course even if it meant Jacob being out of your life, but you couldn't just sit and let him speak to you that way. You wanted answers. Sitting in your room waiting for him to call and explain was becoming too stressful. You sat there for hours overthinking and no matter what you were doing you were replaying the moment in your mind.
You must be going crazy. At least that's what you were trying to convince yourself after seeing Jacob cliff-jumping with Sam Uley and his gang. You had decided that you would go to La Push, and relax your body and mind on one of the only partly cloudy days in Forks. The skies were pretty clear but there was a storm coming soon, so you decided to do it now. Never in your life did you think you would see what you were seeing now. Are you fucking serious? was all you could think as you drove your car straight to Billy Black's house. You wanted to make sure it was really Jacob, so you went to the man who had told you how 'serious' his condition was in the first place.
As you pulled into the driveway the clouds began covering the sky in a dark grey mass. You hopped out of the car and began walking to the front door, Billy had opened the door as soon as you stepped onto the wood. His face had a mix of concern and confusion as he noticed your agitated expression and the way your chest was slightly heaving from anger.
"Where is he" you say with a grumble.
"He's not here, he went out," He says seriously but looking down a bit not wanting to make eye contact. Billy didn't like lying to you and to your face it was even worse.
Just as you were about to speak you looked to the side and saw that far away down the hill, Jacob stood playfully nudging another man as a few more came out of the woods.
"Don't Y/N" Billy said in warning.
You started stomping down the hill, ignoring Billy's yells. Billy calling your name caught the attention of Jacob, as his face shifted from laughing to completely still. You continued to walk towards Jacob as the rain started, it quickly went from a drizzle to full pouring as you finally reached him.
To say you were fuming would be an understatement.
"What the actual fuck Jacob!" you say basically screaming at the shirtless man, who was now staring directly into your eyes with what looked like pure amazement but you ignored it the best you could, whatever love for him you felt in that moment may have been strong but you were too angry to care so you continued.
"So we have one fight and you ignore me for two weeks?! I called you ten times, ten times Jacob. You couldn't bother picking up the phone at least once, you could've told me you didn't want to be friends but no! You had your daddy lie to me" You say with an angry laugh.
"I thought you were sick Jacob! Too sick to pick up the damn phone and text me! Come to find out you were just having too much fun cliff jumping with the guys we used to make fun of! You know what you can have them, If you want to throw away seventeen years of friendship then be my guest." You say finally taking a breath.
The weight off of your chest feels amazing, but as you finish Jacob falls to his knees. The boys behind him look between you two with pure shock on their faces before they start laughing and smiling. You look up at them shocked and confused thinking they were making fun of you. They start walking away but not before patting Jake on the back. Sam leans down and whispers something to him as he sits there still on his knees staring at you.
"Do you even care about a word I just said to you? You know what never mind if you think this is a joke I might as well leave," You say turning around and starting to walk away.
Jacob suddenly found his voice as he quickly got to his feet and stumbled trying to reach you.
"WAIT! Wait, wait, Y/N please hold on!" He spoke hurriedly. Grasping for your hand and pulling you around. Hand now resting on your waist.
"I am so, so sorry. Please let me explain everything, I promise I won't lie to you anymore. I can explain everything now, just come inside and dry off." He said pleadingly, trying his best to get you to listen to him.
You thought for a moment, you didn't trust him at all but the way he was speaking you knew he was telling the truth to some extent. It was hard for him to lie to you, you know how Jacob works, you know the subtle mannerisms he has when he's not telling the truth. Considering all of this you finally speak.
"Fine, but if things don't add up or I find out you are still lying, I am gone," You say sternly, pulling his hands away from you and walking up the hill.
When you get to the house, Jacob gives you warm tea and a blanket which you take from him without a word. He comes over and sits across from you. He almost reaches for your hand but stops himself.
"The day that I left your house, something changed, I changed...." He claimed, looking at your reaction with a hint of fear but continued "This is going to sound crazy, but you have to believe me on this..... I am a werewolf"
You stared at him for a moment before throwing the blanket off and standing up, Jacob followed suit immediately. You threw him a glare before starting to walk out.
"No, No, Y/N wait!" he shouted after you, reaching out and grabbing your hand. "I am telling the truth let me show you" He spoke as he continued outside your hand still in his.
" I swear Jacob if this is a pra....."
You went dead silent as he began taking his boots, and then his shorts off. Now standing in just his underwear. He gave you a curt nod and then started bending and shaking profusely. You could barely blink before your best friend stood in front of you only he wasn't human anymore, he was a massive wolf.
You jumped back a bit as the wolf started coming towards you, noticing your fear he slowly laid down on the ground and gave out a small whine to signal he would not hurt you. You were in complete shock, how was this possible? Everything you ever heard about the stories of the Quileute tribe growing up was true, and your best friend was living proof. A thousand thoughts ran through your mind, but they were silenced by the wolf standing up and trotting to the back of the house. Jacob then emerged in different clothes than before.
"I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell you Y/N" Jacob expressed, grabbing your hands hesitantly until you leaned into the touch slightly.
"Why couldn't you tell me, you know I would never judge you, nor would I ever tell anyone " You pressed before giving him a confused stare "Wait why are you telling me now?"
He looked at you a gave you a crooked smile.
"It's one of the rules that came with the gig" He laughs a bit before pulling you a bit closer. "The reason I can tell you now is because you are my soulmate," He says beaming down at you.
You stare up at him with a bewildered expression.
"I'm your what?" you say breathing out.
"You are my imprint, Y/N. It's a wolf's soulmate, it is the reason for their existence, you feel like it isn't gravity holding you to the ground anymore, it's them. You can be anything the imprint wants you to be, a friend, a protector, a lover, all that matters is that the two are connected. Like vines on trees overlapping each other both on the same path, interlocked." He pauses, putting his hand on your face and caressing your cheek gently.
"I know this might be overwhelming and a lot to handle. I really want you to know how deeply sorry I am for everything that I said. I'm not going to sit here and blame it all on the wolf because it wasn't, I was jealous. I was jealous that you went on that date with someone that wasn't me and I didn't mean a word that I said about you. I'm going to be fully honest with you from now on, starting with the fact that I have been in love with you since the second grade. I know that trusting me will take time, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to earn it back. I understand that I have hurt you, so it might take a very long time but I will always be there for you. Everything is up to you, I understand if you want to reject the connection. The connection can be anything you want it to be, but I really truly do not want to lose you and the past two weeks without you have been hell on earth for me. I'm just really sorry Y/N." He pleads letting go of your hands and allowing you to process.
"I... I love you too Jacob. I have for a while now. I'm not going to forgive you easily but I am glad you understand how much you have hurt me. I am willing to give this a shot, mainly because I can feel the connection and would be an idiot if I said that I didn't." You laugh a bit as he looks at you with the biggest smile on his face.
"But if you ever say or do that to me again I will put you in a dog house and leave you there," You say with an evil smile laughing at the way his face drops before he joins in.
You two get out of the rain and drive separately to Emily's house where you meet the pack and they explain in much more detail what being a wolf really entails. You and Emily become quick friends, and as the days go on you slowly fall into a routine that is pure chaos but you wouldn't have it any other way. You and Jacob work on your relationship, slowly building back trust and falling deeper and deeper into love with each other. You have fully accepted your place in a world filled with wolves and life seems to be going great, that is until they tell you exactly why they turn into the big ferocious beasts....... there are vampires in Forks.
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