#like dude you are a pos. accept it get over it lmao
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i just exhibited SO much self-control you have no fucking idea
#marzi speaks#y'know that aita post i rbed earlier#the anon made a sideblog to try to defend themselves#and continued to dig their grave further#comparing bpd to psychopathy. saying the mentally disabled couldn't be trusted to decide their identities#'he only refused to date me bc i'm cis. also i'm better than everyone' uh huh uh huh#i was SOOOOO tempted to send an anon. but i stayed strong i told myself no i don't do that#but ooooh my god. just laughed my ASS off#like dude you are a pos. accept it get over it lmao#still not over 'binary nonbinary and neopronoun trans.' do u know what a non biney is#i find it so funny when people know so little abt smth (and it shows) yet they act like they know everything#'what is the litmus test for real vs fake trans ppl' 'hi trans person here! there is none bc it's not ur business' 'no but there is one tho'#GOD. so glad their ex-friends got that restraining order LMAO#anyways i did NOT send anon hate/bait today i am proud of myself i am going to reward myself with Sugar
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dude! I would kill for your hands your bone structure is so prominent I will be thinking about that last picture till the end of time. I wouldn't worry about the bloating because I'm sure it's just dysmorphia because you're literally th1nsp0,,, like I know this disorder makes us never happy with our body so you might not see it this way, but you're so many people's goal. so don't push yourself too hard!!
a binge or two a week is not going to do anything to you, except boost your metabolism. wrecking your mind over it is just going to make you feel more miserable. I know a lot of people see them as bad and a loss of self control, but I can guarantee you that you need that food to keep going. at some point your body is going to fight you to stay alive, which is a good thing! you need to live, and you need food. I know telling disordered people to "just eat" is cliche and unhelpful, but I think you need to be reminded that you deserve food. denying yourself a basic need is torture, so don't beat yourself up when your body resists. it means you're surviving. you're here. you've made it this far, and you'll make it farther. you can't make progress if you're dead.
i'm actually going insane rn /pos
my hands have been one of the biggest motivators for me for such a long time honestly, the bloating is definitely not dysmorphia tho lmao it was very bad a few hours ago to the point my stomach was lopsided (me and milk do NOT mix well 😭) but hearing that next part actually gave me so much motivation it's insane
yea i tend to get ahead of myself and try to restrict super low without taking meta days and well, that clearly doesn't end very well lmao, i've learned that not beating myself up and just accepting it makes such a huge (and positive) difference in the days after a binge and i'm able to get back on track much faster, also that last bit about making progress is so motivating, tysm for this!!
#gvtz#gvtz asks#gvtz life#ed but not ed sheeran#tw ana bløg#pro for ana#ana loves you#tw ed ana#tw ana mia#ana y mia#tw ed implied#ana miaa#tw ana rant#edn0s#ed blr#tw ed trigger#tw ed disorder#i want to ⭐️rve#⭐️ ing motivation#⭐️vation goals#⭐️rving#⭐️ve#4norexla#4n0rexic#4nor3xia#tw 3d in the tags#3d relapse#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#tw 3d diet#3d not sheeran
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dude the TOP song you posted (truce) fucking kills me and the way you described the animatic is??? so good???? I'd bawl actually /pos
I need to know if there's any other TOP songs you relate to the furies/any DE character really, or any slower songs even if they aren't by TOP
OH AGREED ABSOLUTELY!! TRUCE MY BELOVED... and THANK YOU!! we are imagining animatics and crying together! /pos :'] <3
ooh!! well, i havent listened to a lot of TOP in a while, so i don't have many recommendations there unfortunately :'] but for other slow, soft songs, let's see... i'll put them under a cut with all my explanations, but ☀️ "See The Day" by The Altogether (Volition song!), 🍃 "Rounds" by The Oh Hellos (Shivers song!), 🦋 "Would You Be So Kind" by dodie (general skills song, Suggestion primarily!) are the best contenders!
Pretty sure you've seen it already, but from a different ask, i recommend "Almost (Sweet Music)" by Hozier! (and "Like Real People Do" if you want to cry and yearn with me, though my DE ideas for it are very loose hkjhg) these are slow ones i like hkjhg <3
"Goodbye" by The Altogether is a Harry and Dora song :0
"Soldier, Poet, King" by The Oh Hellos is one i specifically relate to Volition (my beloved protector/motivator/crownhead blorbo! [picks him up and wiggles him!!!]), but i would make one of those animation memes for it with every skill slotted into a "soldier" "poet" or "king" position.
☀️ "See the Day" is both another The Altogether song and another Volition song! a real "the worst is over. we made it through. we're going to survive this. it might not get easier yet, but we'll come out the other side and we'll be alive" song. it makes me cry hkjgh
🍃 "Rounds" by The Oh Hellos is a soft Shivers song, though the lyrics don't start until halfway in. ough my god listening to it makes my heart ache (/pos) <3 La Revacholiere singing to Harry in the wind. "Will you start when I end? Yeah, I'm long in the wind..."
"Northern Star" by Dom Fera, a song Harry would sing for karaoke and dedicate to Kim, and then they'd waltz a little clumsily on the dim, starlit sidewalk on their way home for the evening... <3
🦋 "Would You Be So Kind?" by dodie BUT SPECIFICALLY THIS VERSION, because i love everyone's crowded but earnest vibes. this one is led by Suggestion ("oooh you wanna fall in love with us so bad right? right???") and makes me grin, you GOTTA imagine all of the skills squished together in the front of Harry's brain all trying different tactics to get Kim to fall in love with them, (rhetoric: "I HAVE A QUESTION..." ency: "let's write a story! be in my book!") at 2:35, after all the skills singing together loudly, it's just Harry himself singing to Kim, with all the skills slowly backing him up. the ending is all of them fucking ECSTATIC celebrating when harry finally kisses kim hkjhg jesus this'd be so cute hold on i have to go plan this out i have so many thoughts hkjdh
"Seven" by Sleeping at Last would be a sweet Reaction Speed song (ironic that im adding react speed to a list of soft, slow songs though hkjgh) "I'm ready for whatever comes next!" <3 Reaction Speed is a fast, restless little fella who can't sit still for long, always loves moving, acting, doing. he's like the personification of a verb hkjhg <3 i would also accept an interpretation for echem <3
"Cosmos" by Jawbreaker Reunion is a song that The Furies recently suggested to me as a jean song and it's so right for that, very soft and i like it very much :'] (you should also ask The Furies if you want to, it's much more musically inclined than me, i feel hkjhg <3)
awuahg thank you for asking and for reading!! i appreciate it!! <33
oh and here's links to all of the songs in the tags: Come Together Now, Two, Four, Five, Six, Eight, Nine, RPG Animation Meme (<- homestuck lmao)
#volta transmissions#now: songs that didn't meet the requirements (either not a slow song OR doesnt remind me of de characters/skills) but honorable mentions:#you specifically asked for slow songs but i refound ''come together now'' from the lego movie soundtrack and I HAVE SKILL THOUGHTS...#<- no chemi you're not hosting a fucking multi animator project you have enough on your plate THANKS <3#but!! that is my idealized version of the skills to me though. ''we're all really different but we make each other better together''#dodie has many more slower songs but i cant really relate them to DE hkjhg <3 the oh hellos too!! and the altogether <3#''two'' from Sleeping at Last makes my heart hurt but i can't relate it to anyone in specific. but if you want a soft song that i love <3#also from Sleeping at Last but i dont like these songs as much: ''Four'' is Concept! ''Five'' is Viscal! ''Six'' is Psyche in general#but specifically inland and volition!! ''Eight'' is an Endurance song but i'd also take Authority or Phys interpretations <3#but eight is kind of intense so it doesnt go in the actual list. ''Nine'' might be Empathy? get over being a moralist little guy!!#i like ''Two'' ''Seven'' and ''Eight'' while the other ones are not my cup of tea... but they ARE soft songs i associate with skills!#only tangentially related but the RPG animation meme would be. extremely fun to do for the skills. and i think about it intensely.#LISTEN... there's 30-ish beats at the start for characters. theres 24 skills plus room to show group ups by type (int; psyc; phys; mot)#the entire main thing of the meme is [someone says a stupid idea] [everyone disliked that!!] WHICH IS EXACTLY THE RIGHT VIBE HFJKFH#HOWEVER. i still dont have designs for [checks] MORE THAN HALF OF THEM. so EL BIGO MISTAKO LIEUTENANT! YOU CAN'T!#i wish i was more well-versed in music hkjhg im kinda just vibing with what i got <3 this is why daily voltas stopped :'] alas!#esprit: Sammie
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TKEM Ep. 16 Reactions
SPOILERS
BELOW!
FUCK NOT YEONG
Mate why’d you leave him there def not flashback to my country
My god Sin-jae’s mom is a real pos
It’s not his fault lady
You’ve been thinking he’s your son all these years; can you not scream at him for something that’s not his fault
His broken little “mom”; yep yep it’s fine I’m fine
Girl wtf now you say you’re sorry yeesh
I’m glad Sin-jae’s okay but wow yikes
HURRAH THE PLANT SPROUTED
YAS GIRL SHOOT LEE LIM
Yoyo kid!? he grew up
Hahaha Lee Lim’s dead thrice over now
Mr. Gon I don’t feel so good anymore
Omg little Luna
No wonder she hates the PM
But the cat must be quite old then? if that’s how she got her name?
We don’t hear Chief Park’s answer, but man, that scene there - that was perfect. We know his answer without hearing it, and it’s devastating.
Aaagh no don’t break my heart; I don’t want a world where Sin-jae and Gon don’t exist
Aww so that’s what Chief Park’s been doing in his “solitude”
Ik that’s not Gon, but man, ow; I feel so bad for her
YES YES OPEN EVERY DOOR IN THE UNIVERSE
Wait dammit what about Yeong what the fuck happened to him
Nooo it’s not her here either
Wait there’s two hers?
Omg HAHAHAHAHA
I’m so confused why are there three different hers
OH WAIT he’s opening all the doors god I’m dumb
Omg omg omg it’s him
HUG FOR FUCK’S SAKE STOP STARING AT EACH OTHER
My god he’s really been through the worlds hasn’t he
That’s why he’s so reluctant to believe it’s her
He’s gotten his hopes up so many times
THANK GOD YEONG’S OKAY
Okay back to my orderly list
Goddammit writer-nim that wasn’t funny
You really had me heartbroken there
Yay kiss
YAS YEONG HAS SIBLINGS NOW
Ahahahaha the pain of being the eldest I get it man
NO YOU GUYS HAVE TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN
YAY ik it’s not them, but Sin-jae Hyeon-min and Tae-ul Luna are still friends in some world
HAHAHA PM’S IN JAIL
Also Tae-ul and PM are hilarious
HAHAHAHAHAHA IT’S PM’S SECRETARY DUDE
Wait, Jangmi doesn’t exist anymore?? nooooooo
“What else.”
“I love you.”
*Gamjagiya*
They’re adorable
wAIT I WANNA SEE THEM IN JOSEON
YOU CAN’T TEASE THAT AND THEN NOT GIVE IT TO US
Also the leaves lmao
OOH THE CAR CRASH - they saved him from the coma
hECK YEAH SIN-JAE’S LIVING THE LIFE NOW
EUN-SUP WENT BACK TO SCHOOL
Daaaang our boy’s in the NIS
Hehe Na-ri’s contact name
They’re so cute omigosh
Yeong be like wth
Stan our confused boy
God I love Lady Noh
It’s canon: Yeong and Seung-ah are together; no, I don’t accept criticism
Phew Jangmi didn’t disappear
I was so worried he’d been replaced by the new guy
But now he’s not the maknae anymore!
HECK YEAH SECRETARY MO BECAME PRIME MINISTER
She’s going to be awesome
I love it
They get to explore the worlds for the rest of their lives
I’m satisfied
Except that I wanted Yeong and Eun-sup reunited
Just that one scene, pls writer-nim
It’s just an extra minute or two; Eun-sup’s 65th dream needs to be fulfilled
don’t give me the they can’t meet their dopplegangers bs; ik and idc; it’s Eun-sup we’re talking about here that boy deserves the world
And I’m sad that Tae-ul and Sin-jae aren’t friends anymore
And I miss our og Violent Crimes Unit 3 squad
Buut if this means Sin-jae’s happy, then I can be reconciled with that ig
He deserves it
I need all the fanfics about each of their adventures now
Yeong and Eun-sup reunite (duh)
my sarcastic bros YeongJae go on some kind of investigative mission together idc if it’s non-canon I need more of them
also if NIS Eun-sup can join them THAT WOULD BE AWESOME
Eun-sup and Na-ri kicking ass as usual
the story behind Yeong and Seung-ah’s note - would LOVE an action/spy plot
Adventures with our ORIGINAL Violent Crimes Unit 3 fam
goddammit just give me adventures with everyone
Gon and Tae-ul in Joseon
Gon and Tae-ul actually use the leaves
Gon and Tae-ul grow old together
bring the laughs and the tears and the pain, man; bring it all
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hi. I have a lengthy update and a story.
Good Evening, Friends. Here’s an update that no one asked for. I continue to feel much, much better. I can credit that to a constant, normalized sleep schedule, a reduction of the constant stress of the last three months and making sure I eat. As far as movement goes that’s exactly what I've been focusing on. m o v e m e n t. This doesn't mean always going to the gym and slamming weights around, this means moving more intuitively and listening to what I want to do and what I need (without putting too much pressure on myself to be rigid with set demands). Some days I take my dog with me to the park while I do outdoor yoga (in preparation for my outdoor classes I always do in the summer). Sometimes I meet up with a friend and hit the trails for an easy run. Sometimes, doing “nothing” is more important and takes precedence. (If you don't want to read this all skip down to the bottom for a lil story I guarantee you’ll want to read.)
Habits/personal: Every morning make it a point to tell myself I'm going to stay present today. That’s my goal. To stay present and take advantage of every moment, and yes, it comes down to actively monitoring my habits. Even things like social media and electronic use impacts us and none of us were given a manual on how to navigate this shifting terrain. So yeah, reading an actual book before bed and shutting down devices actually does make a difference on our mind and body. Sometimes, we have to set rules for ourselves depending on our lives and how we know we respond to things like this. I’m starting a gratitude journal too so that’ll be new journey for me (it’s scientifically proven to lower inflammation in the body). My life is starting to go back to “normal”, finally. I was under intense life stressors for a few months.
Training:
I’ve done some easy trail runs with my friend (the one who was my old gym partner). His training is ramping up significantly and mine is just now recovering so I've only been joining him on his easy recovery runs. The first one I did, my legs felt like two ton bricks. It felt like I was running through jello. I’m not embarrassed to say it was just awful. Consider that I spent since October not putting an emphasis on cardio (only some conditioning), so yeah not surprising. The good news is, it only sucks for a little bit and then it gets better. I mean, each run I do I'll never have to redo again lmao. I hate treadmill running unless I'm doing sprints. I always choose outdoor if I can. I haven't done any major strength training and I’ve probably lost a lot of strength but I'm not worried about it. Muscle has a memory. I’m ready to pick up some strength training again but my goals right now are more geared towards movement and cardio (so the strength training will be to support that). And of course, yoga. I love doing more and more of it. It just makes you feel so damn good. Plan: adding cardio in 4 times weekly. Alternating between cycling, running, trail running, moderate intensity and intervals. Finishing with a handful of lifting exercises a couple times a week to stay strong.
Nutrition:
Like I mentioned, I am making sure to eat. And haven't been too strict about it, like, at all. I’ve been fueling on pb&j’s. (Side note: I am always making sure I keep my caffeine intake low, I feel better without it. I do half-caff coffee mostly.) I’m increasing my workouts since I'm feeling good so my nutrition is going to be shifted to support those goals. I don't want be too extreme so I'll be following an 80/20 diet. 80% clean Whole Foods and 20% Oreos and Snickers (jk). A major pitfall of mine is failing to prepare to have food when I need it. This week, and for the following weeks, I'm meal prepping everything (which I should be doing anyways *glares* @ me). I’m sticking to whole, “clean” foods and following basic nutrition principles. I’m 100% sure you can make progress on nearly any “diet” as long as you follow nutritional fundamentals. I feel better when I eat better anyways. Sometimes we have to go back to basics. Foundations are what we build everything on and any tweaks we do to that foundation are just the “fluff” on top. Don’t want that foundation to have cracks in it, do we? (SO this week I made a homemade Mac and cheese. Most times I burn everything but sometimes my attempts are a slam dunk. I made my own cheese sauce and used half noodles and half shredded cauliflower to increase the volume and MAN IT WAS BOMB. YOU GOTTA TRY IT. YOU COULDNT EVEN TELL THERE WAS CAULIFLOWER IN IT. Sneaky vegetables.) Unfortunately, I'll have to cut out the Mac & cheese and pb&j’s BUT if it’s the weekend and I want a bagel, I'm gonna have a bagel (80/20 ok). I’m prepping things like grass fed beef, vegetables and sweet potates or rice etc (yes, its potates).
Other (friends/lifestyle/inspo):
So I got a call from my gym buddy this week which I did not expect. When he started working out with me in January(?) he was what you would call “skinny-fat”, which is defined as not looking overweight but also not having any distinguishable muscle tone. Since then he’s put some serious size and strength and totally upped his cardio game. I started him out on some basic training and knowledge and then he continued on his own. When he called me he told me a man approached him in the gym and asked what he was training for. He told him he was training for an iron man (his overall bucket list goal). This is a hefty goal considering he started at ground zero. BUT everyone starts at zero and he is young and you won’t see me telling him he can’t do it. You can do anything you put your mind to. My friend told the guy about how he went down to 135 pounds at his thinnest (dude is like over 6 feet tall) and then went up 65 pounds at his heaviest. Well, they got to talking and this man started telling him about his friends going through BUDS training (SEAL training). And, my friend spilled the beans. He told him that he hadn't told anyone yet but his overall goal was to go out for the Seals. Yeah, aggressive goal. Thats when the guy told him he was special forces (ranger). He told him David Goggins was headed through town and they were all going to dinner with him. Yeah, I know, sounds odd. Anyways, this guy told him that the only difference between him and the ones that made it, was that now it was his turn to do it. That’s it. (Pretty crazy considering like 6% of people that go out for this pass). So my friend told him he “didn’t know anyone”. The guy told him that there were a ton of special forces in this area but they don’t tell you they are unless they want you to know. But, my dude meant he quite literally didn’t. know. anyone. He had lost all his friends when he found out they had different priorities and pretty much has no one around him supporting him on this, which is why he called me when he was astounded this happened. Serendipity, I guess. Put your goals out there into the world with iron conviction and the universe will find a way to meet you halfway. So this guy was 38 I think and didn’t look his age (not that 38 is old..) and told dude that he could probably smoke everyone in this gym and well, he could, based on the workouts he was doing. My friend’s jaw was on the floor with this whole interaction. He told me he was nervous and stumbling over his words and felt like he probably made an ass of himself. He apologized for it, saying he barely got any sleep and was super stressed and the guy said “Who gets sleep? And we’re all stressed.” The guy offered his advice and networking anytime dude sees him in the gym etc.
We all come from somewhere, we all have dark, broken histories, large goals, even larger struggles etc and feel like our lives consist of constantly trying to pull it together until the day we die but, I swear, you gotta find a way to believe in yourself and even accept your failures. Whats the worst that could happen? You die trying? At least you followed your heart. Just like this dude, out of shape, stumbling, mad at himself because of slow progress but just look back three or four months... He’s strong now and the progress happened because he was patient with himself and didn’t give up even when he felt like it and he’s still not done. More power to him and anyone willing to try. Perhaps the overall goal doesn't matter as much as who we become in the act of trying (thank you Kaylo Littlejohn for that quote). Most times, people just need a positive push in the right direction. Maybe we can focus a little bit more on uplifting and being positive because that shit is contagious.
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LOL YOUR ROOMMATE?? I can't stop laughing omg
god did i ever share the full story of what happened with my housemate last year? i think i bitched about her a little bit but here’s the full write-up of my six months with that housemate. unedited and probably full of errors and discrepancies sorry cause im going off entirely from memory
i’ve now moved out of this apartment, but i was there for a year with three other girls. two of them i got along with fine, and we introduced ourselves to each other before we moved in because that’s common courtesy to see if we get along right? but basically before any of us could talk or interview candidates for the last spot in the apartment, this girl, i’m making up a name and calling her emily, this random girl named emily basically came in and signed on for the spot on the lease without talking to any of us. uh, okay? so we eventually all get in a group chat and talk and introduce ourselves and plan to move in. day one: emily moved in before me and i moved in a few hours later. i walk in and see the kitchen and she’s already covered the fridge with magnets and pictures and paper clippings featuring…. herself. like, a few of them had her friends, but most of the pictures were of her. basically. am i crazy or is that fucking weird? so from the get-go she just seemed……. if not privileged (which i also knew she was later), then definitely some sort of weird type of entitled but i couldn’t tell if it was maybe just cultural differences? (she was russian but had grown up in the states. idk)
anyway. she had this boyfriend who would come over occasionally, it was no problem since we didn’t talk and just waved hi to each other occasionally. but from the first week she and another housemate who lived on the far end of the apartment were both having trouble sleeping because someone else on the floor was blaring their tv loudly all hours of the night in the room next door. after several weeks of not being able to sleep through the night, they’d pretty much had enough and managed to track down whose apartment it was, and it turned out to be this elderly black woman’s apartment. i don’t really know if the woman understood why they were so upset because i think she might have been going slightly senile as well, so i think maybe the tv, or the volume, was something she wasn’t entirely aware she was doing? but the other housemate, i’ll call her veronica (who is more chill but was still upset) understood that this was probably not a fight they wanted to pick. veronica noticed that the elderly woman had a middle-aged male visitor, who looked like family, come visit the woman a few times a week and take care of her/take out the trash etc, so veronica decided to wait until she saw the visitor again to talk to him about lowering the volume or turning the tv off, or maybe getting his relative headphones or something. but emily, like….. kept pushing it every single night. every single night for the first month or so she’d stomp across the floor and rap on the door loud enough to wake up the entire floor (the walls were thin and it wasn’t a big building). and most of the time the woman didn’t respond, but there was one notable time someone else got fed up enough to wake up at 2am and yell at emily (deservedly so) for waking up the whole hall. all of which i heard very clearly because my room was next to the main door to out apt.
things escalated when i overheard emily talking to her friend on the phone about the situation and then she mentioned that in retaliation, she went over in the middle of the night and put vaseline on the woman’s door handle. i was kind of stunned and disgusted that a grown ass adult (she’s at least a few years older than me, i’d guess late 20′s/early 30′s?) would do something like that???? but anyway a few nights later iirc, once again in the middle of the night, i was woken up by a shouting match down the hall because apparently the male relative had come back to check in on who he said was his mother, and HE WAS PISSED, UNDERSTANDABLY SO, AT FINDING MY ROOMMATE IN THE MIDDLE OF PUTTING VASELINE ON THE FLOOR CREVICE UNDER THE DOOR. LIKE. THAT’S NOT JUST PETTY BUT REAL FUCKING DANGEROUS TO DO TO AN ELDERLY WOMAN. he basically shouted at her and she kept talking about how she can’t sleep for months because of the noise, and whatever, but she stomped back to our apartment and they had this argument loudly at the door (remember, my room was right next to the front door). i listened to it for a couple minutes wondering if she would like, acknowledge what she did was wrong? and it became clear that she was so focused on the noise she wasn’t listening to this dude, so i came out and i tried to be a voice of reason. the guy was understandably really pissed that she would do something like that and i apologized for her and said she was wrong to do that (she had stomped off back to her room meanwhile) and he seemed grateful to talk to someone who wasn’t batshit crazy in the meantime so he mentioned that he had grown up in this building all his life before moving out so it hurt to see someone treat his mother this way who had lived here for 50 years or something. and after that i was just thinking like, jesus, this is so not the kind of fight you want to have with a family like this as a white woman in a gentrified apartment complex. like at some point you need to realize this is not your fucking place and if you must settle things, do it civilly or just dip out entirely.
i think emily eventually apologized and he accepted and they found out that the tv wasn’t even coming from the woman’s room at all, but from someone on the floor above who THEY also had had problems with for months.
veronica was away on a trip i think during this climax, but before, while it was still escalating, i was talking with veronica and veronica mentioned she and emily had bitched about the noise to each other often, but veronica said she drew the line when emily basically started making her complaints race-themed ever since she found out the elderly woman was black. etc the complaints turned from “it’s too loud” to “this neighborhood is so ghetto” and “that’s what black ppl are like” and stuff like that. veronica wasn’t cool with that, so she planned on handling any other complaints herself directly so she could resolve things like a normal person, but ever since veronica mentioned that i knew emily was a pos
emily also complained about people partying/drinking on the street outside till ~11pm, which imo isn’t too unreasonable, like normal people do, and basically being too loud or whatever. on some level i get it cause she had to go to sleep early to go to work early, but also at some point i was just wondering how she functioned as a human being in the real world
ANYWAY THE STORY I TELL AT PARTIES IS THIS ONE, THE ONE IN WHICH SHE LEAVES (i will try to keep this as short as possible while still giving you all the details you need to understand just how fucking weird it was):
in early november, emily group messaged everyone asking if her boyfriend could come live with us. to her credit she said she wouldn’t do it unless everyone was ok, and she waited to hear back from all of us. i was out of town at the time but i remember being really put off by this idea and i was going to say no, when i noticed that my two other housemates had ALREADY said yes in the chat. just like that. i was stunned. what? like, no follow-up questions or “we dont even really know him” or “how is this gonna work”? were they fucking insane?
i messaged her privately saying i really wasn’t comfortable with it, for xyz reasons. among those being 1) rent, because nowhere did she offer to split the rent five ways instead of four (they were basically going to split her room between them, which, no). 2) fridge/living space, which was small enough with four people to one apartment as it is, and 3) just overall “i dont fucking know him” atmosphere. she messaged back saying she understood, and i got to asking why this was so important to her to do now, because she mentioned she wanted to do it “asap” if we’d said yes.
and this is where my “no” turned into “hell fucking no.” she told me this:
in response to my question of if she’d want to put him on the lease, she said no, she wouldn’t want her boyfriend on the lease in case “something happens so she could just tell him to leave” (raising my question: what, exactly, do you expect to happen? maybe the landlord, who lives in the building, finding out someone’s living here illegally? bc THAT WOULD DO IT FOR ME)
she was marrying him in december which is why she wanted it to happen “soon” so they wouldnt be living apart. i asked why she couldnt just wait until the lease was up to do all this, to which she said:
her boyfriend’s green card (he was russian) had expired so he was now paying month to month and that’s when i realized, oh. bitch he’s using you for a green card marriage and you’re trying to inconvenience all of us instead of owning your life like an adult, or something
at some point during the conversation she like tried to bribe me with a couple hundred extra dollars per month “to cover the cost of the extra utlities/wifi/inconvenience,” which i politely declined. this was when i said basically “look i never got the sense you particularly liked living here (massive understatement) and i think that it’d work out best if you moved out, which you’re clearly already planning to do”
and she did start looking immediately. at some point while she was looking i overheard her talking to veronica mentioning that he was a huge fan of putin and she’d asked him to like, politely, stop?, lmao because she didn’t like his entire yknow politics, and he basically said “i’m sorry, i can’t betray my personal/national identity, i just really believe in putin” or whatever the fuck and i thought to myself, this bitch is marrying him anyway for some godforsaken reason
i don’t know why i hoped that she would be any more considerate moving out than when she moved in, but somehow i was still surprised when the sublet she picked out was someone she never introduced us to or mentioned before, she literally just said “hey here’s your new housemate and when she’s moving in” and dropped us a phone number and facebook page.
one last thing: while emily was moving out, veronica mentioned to me that she was really pleased i stood up to her because she felt massively uncomfortable with the situation too. i asked why she didn’t say something, and she said she talked to emily privately airing out her problems, and emily had managed to talk her into accepting that sort-of bribe privately off message, and emily told her ‘just say yes’ in the chat, so she did and was kind of kicking herself for it after. (our other housemate was off doing fuck knows what at this point; she was gone for weeks on end leaving us to take care of her guinea pigs for her with little to no warning.)
but then, veronica says, the big thing that astounds her is that this wasn’t even the same boyfriend who she’d had when she’d moved in. six months had passed by this point. SHE HAD BEEN DATING GREEN CARD GUY FOR LIKE, THREE MONTHS WHEN SHE DROPPED THIS ON US
and then she moved to fucking harlem, one of the yknow most diverse neighborhoods in the city known particularly for its black heritage, so i guess have fun honey
(her replacement somehow turned out to be just as bad as she was, so you can imagine why i was eager for my lease to end in may)
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for the meme, every even number and if it requires a fic title WHIPS
SEND ME A NUMBER
2. Favorite part of writing.
World building. Hands down. I love coming up with rules and societies and building maps for my stories!
4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?
I always need music, helps me get in the zone while writing.
6. Favorite character you ever created.
Considering how I write mostly fanfic, I wouldn’t say I’ve really created a character that I’ve let people read. However, for my oc’s that I’ve made I’d have to say Po is my favourite!
8. Favorite trope to write.
Person A thinks they’re a monster and unloveable but person B disagrees and loves them regardless and it’s so pure and my heart
10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.
Oh jesus dude I don’t read a lot anymore bcus Exhaustion so I’d have to go with my standard of Rick Riordan and probs a typical ‘youth is chosen one and saves the world’ but with swears and an oprnly bi protag bcus ME
12. How do you deal with self-doubts?
Honestly I think back to things I’ve read before and know i write better than that. Theres still plently I have to work on and learn, but I know for a fcat my writing is a far shot away from some of the things I’ve gotten half a page through and exited out of.
14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?
HAHAHA.
So much. So much fucking research. Probs WHIPS with researching the spiritual and wiccan meaning of different woods, colours, flowers, other such things, how spells are cast and runage. Listen if I believed in any spirituality I’d probs be wiccan.
16. Where do you take your motivation from?
Wherever I can find it LMAO. I daydream a lot, so my ideas come from there and hopefully I write them down before they fade too much.
18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?
Just constant rereading what I’ve written of the piece so far. I don’t doa lot of rewrite bcus I let the story go where it wants and post chapter to chapter, so I kinda have to go where I’ve written myself.
20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.
A memory passed through Lucy like a phantom, her back arching off the wood, papers scattered as she tore at her hair in wild abandon, Natsu’s hand on her hips as he buried himself deep and hard in-
Oh.
Lucy’s breath caught in her throat, her arms tightening around Natsu. She felt him stiffen as well, fingertips biting hard into her hips where he held her.
“Natsu,” Lucy said softly, lips ghosting over the smooth skin of his neck as she spoke, “do you remember the last time you sat me on this desk?”
“I do,” he growled, voice barely reaching more than a rumble that travelled through her bones and resonated in her core.
22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?
What’s a draft lol? I’ve been like this since highschool and it’s a bad habit I suggest everyone revise and edit unlike me24. Poetry or prose, and why?
Both. I mainly write prose but I love free verse poetry, and how you can add beats and a rhythm through speaking alone and the openness to speak in metaphors in poetry.
26. Standalone or series, and why?
I love series bcus I always want to know more about what happened! Writing, however, sucks balls bcus then you have to go back and make sure everything makes sense
28. And who do you share them with?
I share snippets with my close friends and will have them look over something if I can’t figure it out on my own. I like having a beta, but I know life gets in the way and they have their own stuff to write
30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.
I have a couple tbh, and my brain always goes to my funny ones first. I think it’s a tie between fuck fuck fucking fuck. and Happy however did not care about whether something was acceptable in human society, as he was a cat. via WHIPS. My fave non-comedy line would probably be It was beautiful, in the way that forgotten places tended to be. History left untapped and ghosts given reign of the grounds where life had once been. via Implexium Vitae
32. Easiest character to write.
Lucy def
34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?
I hand write designs for runes and layouts, but usually typed notes
36. A spoiler for story WHIPS.
The book Lucy was holding in chap 25 reveals a major plot point in who Zeref is and his motivations :D
38. Have you shared your outline of your story WHIPS with someone? If so, what did they think of it?
I’ve shared it with @hannah-nobody and I think she liked it! Def helped me work out some pacing and early ideas
40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?
I write mainly fanfic just bcus I love to tell stories and join the community and friends I meet through them! Would love to work on my own ocs at some point tho.
42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc.
I look at what they might like, what would help them, what would hold them back. I try to humanize them and throw in traits me or my friends have, which helps keep their character grounded as well so they aren’t all perfect from the start!
44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.
On one of the earlier chapters of whips a girl told me how my inclusion of the wiccan AU made her feel closer to a friend she had lost to cancer and dude that still stays with me. Otherwise most of my growth has been me reading and seeing where my own writing falls short and changing.
46. What would your story WHIPS look like as a tv show or movie?
I hope it would be one of those fun and silly half hour shows that has like the sudden DARK plot reveal that’s actually been there under the surface the entire time. Either real or anime is eh.
48. Favorite genre to write in.
Everyday comedy, I think. So the drama still feels natural and theres real conflicts, but its still a little dumb and goofy and hyperbolic. Brooklyn 99 ish.
50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.
Fucking ‘cursed Pinocchio penis’ is the worst idea I’ve ever had and I blame you Alisha.
52. How did writing change you?
I met so many friends through writing and all caps yelling with each other about story ideas
54. Any writing advice you want to share?
Don’t be afraid to experiment and know when to disregard and when to accept critique of your writing!
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Calyss Watches the Clone Wars -29
Hello, fancy meeting you here *wiggle eyebrows* .
So anyway, tonight I’m watching 02x04 - Senate Spy (32CO) and this title let me think that there is good stuff ahead.
"The Jedi council suspects that Senator Rush Clovis is secretly taking part in a separatist conspiracy."
Rush Clovis? Isn't he Padmé's ex or something?
"But to find out what the Senator from Scipio is up to, the council will need a spy of its own. Meanwhile, Jedi Anakin Skywalker has been away from Coruscant on a lengthy tour of duty leading the clone army."
Intro Dude knows waaay to much:
"Now Anakin returns for a long-awaited reunion with his wife, Padmé Amidala."
IT WAS A SECRETE WEDDING DAMMIT!
Hey wait!
See those subtitles? Well they’re probably the best translation possible for that sentence. But the meaning isn’t exactly the same. At least I don’t think so. If I only had the subtitles and had to guess what was the original version I would say "A faithful heart should never be doubted.” When I read "true heart", do you know what I think about? I think about a hero. "Only the true of heart can do this". I think of a personality as a whole. But this translation and the 40 seconds that follow and that maybe wrong memory I have of having read on Wookipedia that Clovis and Padmé used to date (or something) make me think that Anakin will suspect Padmé is cheating on him and she's gonna be like "dude I've got the truest heart in the Galaxy how dare you doubt me?!"
Okay he actually said “I brought dinner” but we can see Padmé’s ribcage so whatever they plan to eat, girl probably needs pizza more than anything else.
Anakin: "I had to hitch a ride on a cargo freighter." Padmé: "What happened to your military transport?" Anakin: "It blew up."
Has anyone ever counted how many of the ships Anakin was in (or about to go in) did blow up? Should I start counting? I think I’m gonna do that and come back later to the episodes I’ve already seen.
Ow they’re cute.
Meanwhile Obi-Wan:
“HE’S NOT ANSWERING MY TEXTS!!!”
Plot twist:
Obi-Wan will suspect Anakin is cheating on him and he's gonna be like "dude I've got the truest heart in the Galaxy how dare you doubt me?!"
Lmao Anakin saying to Padmé that duty comes first. Wasn’t he the one to tell her “screw duty let’s marry”?
Windu: "We chose Senator Amidala because she and Clovis entered the Senate in the same year. They served on the same committees. They were good friends." Anakin: "I didn't know that." Obi-Wan:
Yoda: "Personal matters for the Senator, these are. Know them, why would you?"
Anakin is so bad at the whole secrete relationship thing, no wonder even Intro Dude knows about it.
She’s still pissed he had to go to the Council after ignoring them for super long??? You gotta chill girl you are in a secrete relationship with the Chosen One you are at war and dude’s got responsibilities god dammit.
I’m... Confused. By this conversation:
Padmé: I don't want to spy on a colleague and an old friend. Anakin: "Old friend". How well do you know Clovis? Padmé: Why does that matter? That was before we were together. Anakin: I am just trying to get a sense of who this guy is. I'll need to brief whoever does end up spying on him. Padmé: I thought you were here to talk me into becoming an agent for the Jedi. Anakin: That is not a job for you. I don't agree with the council on this. If Clovis is involved in a separatist conspiracy the last place you should be is anywhere near him. Padmé: Clovis is conspiring with the Separatists? Yoda didn't tell me that. I can't believe Clovis would do that. This is terrible.I never expected that from him. Someone has to find out the truth. Anakin: Someone does. Just not you. Padmé: Why not me? Anakin: Because it's going to be dangerous. Whoever takes this mission will be putting their life at risk. Padmé: I've been in many tough situations before. It never seemed to bother you. I never stopped you from facing danger. You're constantly getting shot at. Anakin: I've been trained for that. It's very different from spying on a traitor. Padmé: You mean I can't handle the mission. Anakin: I mean I'm not gonna let you do it. Padmé: You're not going to let me? It's not your decision to make. It's mine. Anakin: Lucky for us, you've already decided to refuse. Padmé: Actually, I just changed my mind. You've convinced me that it's vital to learn what Clovis is doing. I accept the mission to spy on him. Anakin: Even though I'm telling you not to? Padmé: Don't take it personally, Anakin. Duty comes first, especially in wartime.
I thought at first he was trying to get her to agree but he really doesn’t seem happy about it by the end? I mean he’s just antagonizing her by saying she can’t handle it and telling her what to (not) do. And maybe he’s jealous and worried but he also knows her? He knows she probably is really the best suited for the job and she dislike being ordered around. So really it would have made sense if it was to convince her to accept but then he does this face:
And it seems that he’s really in an assholish jealous controlling mood? (aka RotS!Anakin) Because if he had had what he wanted (even if that means his wife is gonna be in prolonged contact with that dude) he would have just rolled his eyes at her using his words about him and would have gone his merry way like, “mission accomplish, see you when you're in a better mood”.
Moving on.
I know the Masters on the Councils have their designated chair but that is a bit ridiculous.
So he is her ex!
This is kinda funny to watch when you have shipper goggles on because Obi-Wan's like "Good. The closer you can get to him, the better," (Actually, not "like". Those are his exact words.) and I automatically translate it to: “Good. Go back to your ex.”
Plot twist:
R2-D2 will suspect C3-PO is cheating on him (with this droid in pink) and he's gonna be like "dude I've got the truest heart in the Galaxy how dare you doubt me?!"
Padmé: "It's been good to see you again, Clovis. I didn't realize how lonely I was until tonight."
THIS IS NOT WHAT I CALL “REKINDLING A FRIENDSHIP” PADME THIS IS STRAIGHT UP FLIRTING.
And I know, I know, she has to get close to him but goddamm did she ever heard about subtlety? Do I have to once again breach the barriers of reality to go teach the art of keeping men at arms length to Padmé Amidala? (I’m not particularly proud of it but it’s something I did a few time because... I’m not a good person? I suppose? And, really, it’s not that complicated?) If she doesn’t want him to make a move on her too soon she’s got to make him doubt. If he’s too sure of himself and does make a move she’s gonna have to reject him (because she won’t really cheat on Anakin, even for the mission). And if she rejects him, this is over.
After all this was a terrible idea. She’s gonna fuck up, because her only experiences are with that guy and Anakin and we all know how it went down with Anakin.
OH. MY. GODS. THIS IS HILARIOUS.
ANAKIN UNDER COVER AND SUPER JEALOUS WHY FUCKWIT SENATOR KISSES HIS WIFE ON THE CHEEKS IN SLOW MO AND “ALLOW ME MY LADY” AND “NO FUCKING WAY YOU’RE SITTING NEXT TO HER” AND SHE LOOKS HALF PISSED HALF PLEASED.
WHAT DID I SAID PADME IT WOULDN’T ALREADY BE A PROBLEM IF YOU HAD BEEN A BIT COLDER.
Also how many time has passed since the beginning of the episode? She’s still wearing the same clothes. I thought she had unlimited wardrobe or something?
Clovis: “Now let me take you back to your room so you can get dressed for dinner.”
See? Even him think you should change.
But she could have chosen something a bit more credible than that gravity defying dress:
Sceds above, his password is “Padmé”. Creep alert on!
Why is C3-PO so self centered?
So actually she didn’t really fucked up because she passed out before she could but one minute more and she would either had made out with him or hit him.
And apparently Anakin “never” doubted her but the fact that she thought he would tells a lot about their relationship.
Wow I thought it would be politics and spy stuff but it was actually just about Anakin and Padmé and the question of trust in a couple. What a fucking misleading title.
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#anakin skywalker#anidala#because i'm trash#c3po#calyss watches the clone wars#dubious dubbing#mace windu#master yoda#obi wan kenobi#obikin#rush clovis#star wars#the clone wars#vo vs vf#walking boxes#padmé amidala
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