#LIKE. the whole I love you and I hate you and I can't forgive you but I wish that I could vibe
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ameliiorate · 22 hours ago
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destroying things is what mari is best at. she's a ticking time bomb, and she's set to destruct. alex can't be caught in the crossfire, so if the words that she spews now are just as sharp as shrapnel, so be it. hurting alex now would be better than destroying her later. these wounds would heal. if they had continued down the path they'd been headed down, if mari had dragged alex down in the black hole with her, her best friend may have never recovered. mari could never forgive herself if that happened. she hates herself the way it is. there's nothing about her that's worth loving. "yes, you can," she insists vehemently, as if feelings came with a switch. "one of your flavors of the week could turn into something real. you don't know what the future holds." that's the crux of the issue. the future is an unpredictable thing, and mari? well, she has no future, and alex's is so bright. she still had so much that mari knows that she wants to prove. alex may see herself as the runt, but mari knew that one day, she would stand tall and proud. her breaths come out unlabored, chest heaving as it tightens painfully. "that's...my fucking point, alex. the love you have for gymnastics? it's permanent, i get that. the love you have for me? it can only be a burden, just like it is for my brother. you'll burn out if you continue to love me." her eyes are gleaming, watching alex take a step back. the space should be a relief. it's what she wants, isn't it? yet she feels so cold, arms wrapped around herself. "i can't, alex." she's a failure. a disappointment. that's all she could be. "i can't keep your heart safe and whole. my hands aren't meant for such fragile things." she's underestimating alex, much like her best friend has been underestimated her whole life.
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again, it feels like alex is throwing words at a wall and then having shoved bricks down her throat as as result. mari's lack of faith in herself manifests as doubt in regards to alex's ability to do more than just train, as if putting her heart in multiple places was a bad thing. or, what did she call it? a distraction? either way, if it's not one thing, it's another and alex does not like to be told what to do. by anyone other than her trainer and even then... "wow, that sounds like such a good idea, mari! i wonder why i hadn't thought of stopping before! it's almost like i can't??" in exasperation, alex rolls her eyes deeply, ending up in a stance where she's leaning more on one leg and her arms crossed over her chest. it's all that she can really do for herself right now, given how much energy it takes to will her knees to stop buckling beneath. of course mari doesn't love her back. with how she's behaved over the last few months and how actively she's pushing alex away now, the message is loud and clear. and alex is beginning to see, quickly, that wasting her own breath on a topic mari won't budge on will not move that needle. "love doesn't have to be fleeting. even if it is, that's how you grow. love is why i train so god damn hard every day. love is why i have friends who support me. love is why your brother busts his ass out there every day to make sure that all of you are taken care of." love is why we're here. her lower lip is sucked in, teeth sinking into it a moment in thought when alex finally gives a resolute huff and takes a step back. a step that feels like she's just created a huge rift between them. "you don't wanna be responsible for breaking my heart? then you make sure it doesn't fucking happen."
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clownprince · 2 years ago
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Wauuhhhhh... ok but the bittersweetness of a joker redemption arc... bruce knows he's trying and he loves him for trying but he can't forgive him for what he did... no matter how hard joker tries he can't undo the past... it's so... I love you but I can't forgive you I know that you're trying and I wish that it was enough... I love you and I love what you've become but I still hate you for what you did... no matter how hard he commits to his recovery he can't bring back the people he killed and maimed and the lives he ruined... he can't un-inflict the trauma... he can't reverse the past and make it so Jason never died and Barbara never got shot even if he desperately wants to... but at the same time he's trying SO hard...
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alexjcrowley · 1 month ago
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And if I were to drop on here just to say that I Love To Travel from The Frogs by Stephen Sondheim is Frodo-and-Sam-at-the-beginning-of-their-journey coded?
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starscreamingg · 9 months ago
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you know if they released an avatar film that was straight up 10 hours long no breaks no intermissions I'd be in that theatre for the whole thing. Run out of food or water no problem I got blue people running through my VEINS. James Cameron give me the 10 hour avatar film. Let me be consumed
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dixiedingo · 1 year ago
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Once I move out I'm fucking done. I'm cutting ties with that man I don't care how much everyone screams and cries about how fucking selfish I am I'm through. I should not be obligated to take care of a man who beat me and stole from me to feed his addiction and then tore down my psyche because mommy didn't hug him enough either. Fuck you.
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aestatismors · 1 year ago
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I paid six fucking dollars for that
"you did it. you reached 30 tags."
#*hi hello this is sarah speaking#look I get it's about grief and low key addiction#I get what's behind it and I get the people like it cuz it was actually like creepy and hard to look at#And yes the sends for me me to not absolutely find the main character unsufferable#But you can also have a good plot without terrible main character aka that one book I can't remember the name of#But that one mother absolutely fucking hated her kids She can go get fucked#also that girl literally the worst goddamn person The worst fucking friends#like Jade is a fucking saint#like the only thing she did wrong that her movie was say one really fucked up thing to her brother#And honestly I'll even forgive her because she had a 14-year-old brother#I get it's horror so it's like everyone's really stupid for what reason#I'm sorry for what reason does Hayley and Joss not end up in any of this#for what reason do they all find out that she's possessed and they do not care do anything#while they know what happens#everyone just legitimately went oh I'm not involved it's not me#your best friend undermined you about your own fucking brother got him almost fucking killed fucking is in love with your fucking boyfriends#And you're just going to forgive her#like I got the impression that they were all supposed to be like 17 18 and yet#also the whole I don't like my dad???? why because you know your mom killed yourself so you're going to hate him for it?#what the fuck#like I get she was in denial about it#which I have no personal experience with#And I get they were close#But clearly she fucking knew#I don't know I understand I have a fucked up perspective dealing with si and having my dad commit suicide but my fucking god#like if you want to see that trope watch no end house#she's a bit shitty cuz she's fucking depressed makes sense okay great#She doesn't try to fucking kill everyone she knows????#also the fact of foreshadowing kind of showed everything but in the way that like says that she's an awful person#like oh yeah she doesn't do this awful horrible thing but she also still isn't a good person
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xinganhao · 25 days ago
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🫶 svt reacts to you saying 'i love you' on accident.
★ prompt: Ot13 reaction to you saying I love you for the first time (possibly kind of by accident) 🥰 c/o anon
ⓘ friends to lovers vibes, flirting, pet names. headcanons under the cut.
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seungcheol tries to take it in stride. really, he does. he's convinced he can be very normal about this, even though it will probably have him preening the whole day. he's always thrived most on words of affirmation, and what's more affirming than the truth?
jeonghan's joking, of course. he knows deep down that your little slip doesn't immediately entail a relationship, but he's definitely intent on going out swinging. the light teasing is an attempt to get you to think about a time where you can freely say 'i love you' to him every day.
there's a fair amount of sincerity in joshua's reaction. his first thought is to make sure that you're okay with it, since he has some idea that you've probably tripped on the words. but give him that leeway and he'll take it in a heartbeat. you've started saying it; he'll never let you hear the end of it.
if junhui manages to feign nonchalance, it's because of his acting prowess. he's smug and giddy, though he's not about to let you know that. he's the type to pull the rug underneath you a couple of days later, right when you've probably forgotten it. "so…" he'll drawl. "how much do you love me, hm?"
to no one's surprise, soonyoung is decisively not chill about it. this is A Big Deal to him! an 'i love you'? something he's wanted to hear for ages? he needs to make sure he's not dreaming. there's the dopiest smile on his face, because you love him. it's the best thing he's heard.
wonwoo's hands are shaking. his throat is suddenly dry, and he's relatively sure his brain has short-circuited. it's— just an offhand thing. at least that's what he tries to convince himself. the reality: he's going to be replaying the words in his head for weeks on end.
it doesn't strike jihoon immediately. maybe it hits him once you're gone; maybe it occurs to him when the moment has already passed. one thing's for sure: he's not going to let it go unanswered. he's a little late, not on time, but that doesn't mean he doesn't mean it. you know that, right?
the words make something bloom and blossom in seokmin's chest. they take root like a promise, and even though he tries not to get ahead of itself, it's hard. he's so, so happy to hear it from you that he'll be walking on clouds for the days to come.
mingyu doesn't hate you. that much is certain. he just hates the power you have over him— how you can upend his entire day with a couple of choice words. he had thought he'd be stronger than this, but here he is. panicking because of 'ily'? god, he can't afford to be in shambles like this.
ever the rational type, minghao will be the type to press, "how do you love me?" he can't afford any missteps, needs to know you're on the same page. if you love him as a friend, then so be it. but if there's a prospect for anything more, even just a minute worth of it�� well. he would like to know.
joking about it is a coping mechanism. that's something seungkwan subscribes to, at the very least. it gives him time to gather his wits, this whole keeping-up-a-facade thing. (ask anyone: he had been smiling a little too hard at his phone when your text came in. the eyes never lie.)
rarely is vernon thrown off his game like this. he's not supposed to be melting over a flippant 'ily', and yet here he is— trying (and failing) to be cool about your slip-up. can you blame him? he's wanted you for so long, and the words can be as good as a promise if he really wanted them to be.
you're not playing fair. chan has half a mind to make you suffer, to not give you the satisfaction of a reaction. alas, he's always had a soft spot for you. that extends to unquestioning forgiveness, and reciprocity where it matters. yes, even in accidental confessions.
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angelltheninth · 26 days ago
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Caleb Gets Jealous and Possessive Over You Hanging Out with Other Men
Pairing: Caleb x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, name calling, reunion sex, childhood friends, jealousy, possessive sex, angry to gentle sex, angry!Caleb
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters | Commissions
A/N: Holy crap that trailer did things to me that I will never admit.
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You thought you recognized the man who was fucking you against the bed
He has the same face as your childhood friend and crush but he didn't act anything like him
The Caleb you knew was sweet and gentle, he would hold your hand and comfort you when you were sad, he wasn't the one who made you cry, the one who insulted you
However this man... he fucked you like he hated you, and maybe he did
Caleb, the man he was now, was dangerous, and you should hate him for it, but you can't, your legs are still locked around him just the same as they were when he first shoved his cock into you, when he pushed you against the bed and kissed you
"Yes, yes, that's right, hold me, take me! Sow me how you've missed me. I've missed you so much, so much. And what do I see when I come back, hm? All these guys drooling over you. Drooling over what's mine!"
You had no idea how long he'd ben watching you, but you knew he loved you, the old Caleb did anyway, he wouldn't seriously hurt you
His hips slapped against yours in a merciless, relentless, savage pace
The hand around your wrists squeezed hard, only letting you arch your back enough to push your pretty, soft tits towards his wanting mouth
As he bit your nipples one after the other a shock of pain bolted through you, barely soothed by his tongue
Were you moaning, screaming, begging for more, saying how it was too much, he barely looked your way, too busy taking what he perceived as his
Soft lips pressed harsh kisses against your skin
The marks would be very hard to hide in the places he chose but that was the whole point of them
Was surprised when you kissed his neck, then realized he was smiling at it, he wanted to be yours
Beads of sweat rolled down his face, his eyes focused, all of his senses attuned only to you
His other hand slapped your clit every time you didn't clench your cunt hard or fast enough for his liking
"More, come on, I know you can be a better cocksleeve than this. Ah, there she is, mhm, that's a lot better. Knew you could do it, be my good girl. Yeah, be good and I'll reward you, I'll even forgive all those times I saw you flirting with those other guys? But I noticed... I noticed you didn't let any of them fuck you. Because deep down you know. You know that we belong to each other."
With all the time he'd been gone he changed into someone you didn't know and now he no longer shared the same feelings
Except when you did look into his eyes you still saw that spark of affection, clouded by anger and lust but still very much there
Somewhere deep down inside he was still your Caleb
You leaned forward as much as you could and kissed him, poured all your old and new feelings into the kiss that tasted of salty tears and swear and lipstick
At the same time he unlashed his hot load inside of you, taken back by the kiss, his balls pressed flush against you, pulsing as your pussy clenched and almost seemed to take him in deeper
"We belong to each other, beloved. I don't care you you had before this. They don't exist anymore. Only you and I do. I'll make sure I'm the only man on your mind from now on, the only one you will ever want to fuck, want to love."
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suiana · 3 months ago
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"i'm sorry-"
"sorry is not enough."
he spits at you, pinning you on the ground as his hands tightenin around your wrists. you could only let out a sharp hiss in response, your conscious not allowing you to shed a tear at the pain. you couldn't cry, you wouldn't cry.
"how does it feel, huh? do you like it?"
"n-no-"
your guilt constantly eats you alive.
every day, every night, you can only pray that the consequences of your actions never come back for you. for you are too much of a coward to face the person you once were.
the cold leather of his gloves burn into your skin, and you swear he grips with so much force you swear you hear your fragile bones cracking under the pressure.
you wonder if this even mirrors a fraction of the hurt you did to him.
"stupid loser, you think you can run away after ruining me? don't make me laugh."
you never thought that. because no matter how much you repent or make up, it doesn't erase what you did. it doesn't erase the scars you gave him, or the fact that you made his life hell.
it doesn't change the fact that you were once a horrible person to him.
you could write a whole essay on being sorry, on how much you want to make it up to him. but it's too late for anything. you can't get rid of the sins that your hands committed.
"do you know how much you've ruined me? huh? i am constantly kept awake by what you did to me. the pain you gave me. i hope you regret everything."
you stare at him, glossy eyes meeting cold ones as you let out a soft whimper.
"baby-"
"don't call me that."
the man huffs, immediately shifting his weight on you so that he was sitting on your thighs. his mood shifts in an instant, his scowl replaced with a petulant pout as he crosses his arms under his chest. you feel your eyes soften adn you attempt to reason with him once more. maybe he'd finally forgive you?
"i'm really sorry-"
"well- well! if you really loved me you wouldn't have cuddled with your stuffy! you should've cuddled with me!"
sighing, you could only remain silent as your boyfriend goes on yet another one of his rants about how much you supposedly "hate" him and how you "don't love him anymore". damn, is he a baby or what?
"i'm throwing your stuffies away! only cuddle with me!"
"what?!"
"i'm your stuffy now!"
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youryanderedaddy · 8 months ago
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tw: gn reader, non - con, kidnapping (hinted)
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He's awfully gentle - and perhaps that's what you hate about him the most. The way your tears reduce him to a shell of a man, the way he holds you tenderly, like glass about to shatter from the wind. The way he looks at you - like you're the only person in his small grey world that's made of moving, breathing flesh and fragile breakable bones and splash of incoherent colour all over your cheeks. The way his irises move with feral speed when the ring on your sharp, barking laugh fills the stuffy mold - infested air with life, and his heart all but throbs out of his chest when you push him away.
He holds you at night through the nightmares and the screams, refusing to let go as you fight with all your might to break free, but it's pointless. He knows you - he's studied you, every creek and curve, every dream and fright, every single thing that makes your being tick and purr and surrender. He speaks your language, despite your best efforts to remain hidden, to remain a mystery, he's managed to slice through the protective shield of your psyche, of your most intimate fears, and he's made himself at home in your arms.
It's odd - perverse even, you realize in rare moments of rationale, how used you are now to waking up with his warmth inside of you, nested neatly between your folds; whispering soft little nothings in your flushed ear. Keeping you at the realm between sweet dreams and bitter reality, making you question every fluttering touch, every butterfly kiss against your throat. You're not sure what's real anymore, hot, throbbing pressure pulsating in the middle of your core, the honey nectar dripping down your thighs, back arching in a pleasure - fueled spasm so erratic you're left breathless. Overwhelmed by ecstasy, followed by guilt - ridden shame in a ruthless cycle you have no hope of escaping anymore.
To think it used to be different all those months ago when he first took you in. You would scratch and bite, kicking at will - acting as crazy as possible in hopes he'd find you too difficult to keep. But alas, his gaze never hardened, lips mouthing words of adoration in respond to your countless insults.
"I hate you. I fucking hate you, y-you - you maniac!" You'd hiss through clenched teeth, sweat forming under your brows as your whole body stiffened before his naked figure hovering over you, strong muscled arms keeping you close to his chest in an awkward mockery of a hug.
"Shh, I know you're scared, my love." He'd caress your hair softly, running his fingers through your wet messy locks, cooing as if you're a cornered animal. "I know you're frightened, but I am not going to hurt you, precious. I love you more than you could possibly imagine. You don't know how long I've dreamt of embracing you." He'd press hot, feverish kisses down your collarbone, stroking your numb fingers until you eventually unclenched your fists. "Just like that, you're doing so good for me, angel, so fucking beatiful for me, just lay back and let me show how much I adore you."
You'd relax your hips slowly, keeping your eyes fixed to the ceiling - yielding to the inevitable, yet making a last pitiful attempt to hide the growing heat between your legs.
"You're so perfect, angel." He'd say, slowly undressing you. "I need to feel you against me. I hope you can forgive me one day - but here, before you, I am just a man. Without you my life would lose all meaning, I can't let you go. Forgive me. Love me, please."
And somehow deep within your heart, you wonder if you truly can.
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a-hazbin-reader · 1 year ago
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Hey did you get my ask/request of Alastor and Wife!reader having an argument and Alastor says something horrible to her leaving him to have to make up for it?
I did, I just have a lot of stuff in my inbox
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: Alastor being in the DOGHOUSE
Description: ☝️⬆️
Alastor doesn't mind fighting, likes to bicker with and irritate those around him as some strange show of dominance
But his wife is an exception, he hates fighting with his wife and goes to great lengths to avoid it
Despite his efforts, you two do still fight from time to time and he hates it, he tries so hard to reign in that cruel part of him
He doesn't really even remember what started the fight, probably something dangerous he did that upset you
Something like the Adam stunt
And he probably tried to brush it off, his pride not letting him admit that your fears were warranted
You were understandably getting worked up over his dismissal, and he was getting irritated that you wouldn't just drop it
Everyone else in the hotel had scattered and hidden the moment you two started to uncharacteristically raise your voices at each other
Angel had to grab Niffy to stop her from watching the entire argument play out
He just doesn't want to scare you with the idea of losing him, he wants to be your strong, invincible husband
It makes him uncomfortable that you see beyond the powerful overlord demon and instead zero in on the man beneath it all
"Darling, I would understand your fears if I hadn't come back to you in one piece, but I'm here. With you. Perfectly fine."
You could rip your hair out due to frustration, almost in tears, how could he not understand how you felt?
"Alastor! That's not the point! You can't be so reckless! It's not just you that you have to worry about anymore! You have a wife! You have to live and be safe for me!"
He fears a pang of anger over being told what to do, rage and irritation over the unintentional reminder of his failure to win
Which makes his mind wander to his deal, his fucking leash
The words are out of his mouth before he even realizes what he's saying
"If I knew that everything I do had to be approved by you then, I would've rethought this whole marriage ordeal."
Alastor regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, his ears folding back at the sight of your hurt expression
Your eyes have tears in them but you're doing your best to hold them in, turning on your heel to leave the room
"Wait-Darling, I didn't-"
"Just...give me some space, Alastor."
He regrets it so much, watching you walk away from him when he should be begging for forgiveness
He hates seeing you so upset but he hates being the reason for it even more
Alastor tries to give you the space you asked for, but it's difficult when all he wants to do is make up with you already
But he also doesn't want to actually talk about what happened
So he breaks fairly easily when he sees you again, coming up behind you and hugging you
Only to be shrugged off when he goes for a small kiss, left with a sinking feeling in his stomach
"I said to give me space, I'm not ready to talk to you yet."
Normally, Alastor loves it when you're cruel and cold, finds it a little hot, but when it's aimed at him? He hates it so fucking much
Literally looks like a kicked puppy when you walk away from him again, Charlie and Vaggie looking at anything but him
"You know what, Charlie? I do see that crack in the wall!"
He tries again later, sitting next to you and trying to wrap an arm around your shoulders while the radio bursts to life with a love song
Only to be rewarded with an ill hidden sniffle and you immediately getting up to walk away from him
"If you're not going to apologize and have a genuine conversation with me then don't even bother."
It's driving Alastor crazy not being able to be with you, to not be able to properly make up with you
But he still doesn't want to admit he messed up or have that uncomfortable conversation with you
So he tries lavish gifts and other romantic gestures that all get rejected or given to Niffty to do whatever she wants with them
"Yay!! I'm going to poison these and give them to the mother bugs!!"
Okay...maybe Angel should have these...
Alastor is starting to understand that he can't just gloss over this one
He understands it a little more later that night when you go to bed without him, and he's left too nervous to follow after you
Several hours into the night, the guilt eats at him and he breaks, sneaking into the bedroom
You're awake, your eyes red rimmed from crying but you manage to give him a glare before turning your back to him
"Darling, I believe I owe you an apology..."
The way your tense body relaxes is all he needs, crawling into bed with you and pulling you to his chest
It's a difficult pill for him to swallow, so it's easier for him to have these conversations with you like this
He doesn't want you to see his weakness even when he's laying it out for you
Luckily, Alastor is good with his words and you're willing to listen now that an apology is on the table
It's a long conversation that leaves you both sleepless and emotional in each other's arms
But things are settled and Alastor is forgiven, happy to be back in your good graces
He tried to be strong and hold himself back, he really did... but being without the warmth of your love was torture for him
It was a rough couple of hours for him
HA WHIPPED
"Angel, shut the fuck up before you get yourself killed!"
He's extra clingy and romantic with you for DAYS afterwards, making everyone else at the hotel practically nauseous
Except for Charlie, of course, she loves it
He's just so relieved that you've forgiven him, still disgusted with himself for even saying what he said
Asks you for yet another kiss that morning before Husk finally walks away, annoyed by Alastor's neediness
You don't mind your husband's clingy antics, enjoying the extra attention he's giving you
You should get mad at him more often
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madschiavelique · 2 years ago
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Hi dear, how are you?, could you write an imagine onde reader mentioning offhand how much she would love a whole family. Four, maybe six children? Girls and boys split right down the middle, but the second Miguel hears this (maybe the reader is on the phone, or talking to lyla. or someone at HQ) and Miguel loses his mind
1) Miguel can't help himself and he would grab you and put you on the mattress for a very long time...... or
2) torture himself for two weeks before telling her why he was avoiding her please.
HIHIHI BREEDING BARK BARK (sorry this took so long to write anon zehfrfgh i pulled an all nighter to make this one so also forgive me if there are some mistakes in this gksffgjgbf)
summary : miguel learns you want kids, a lot of kids, so he breeds you
content warnings : SMUT (18+) minors dni, pnv sex - unprotected (be safe kids), breeding kink, soft!dom miguel, obsessive!miguel, no use of Y/N, fem!reader word count : 3,2k
tag list : @fandom-ash @haradasaya
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Miguel was on his way to see you. He'd heard that you were back from your mission and that everything had gone well, so he'd come to get you to take you out for lunch.
He was taking advantage of the little free time he had to visit you, even though he would obviously pass this visit off as work-related in everyone's eyes. He had to always, always remain professional and keep everything under control so that everybody could do their bit.
"Six?!" asked Jess, the word choking in her throat.
Well, you were indeed back with Jess.
"Mhm, six," you affirmed as you both busied yourselves filing a report.
What were they talking about? He leaned against a wall. He knew it wasn't very polite to eavesdrop, but the word got around here. Most of society's building had cameras, and everything that was often said or done was recorded here.
He just wanted to listen to you, wondering if there were any topics of conversation that you weren't having with him and with the other spiders. Yes, he was manic, and probably a little too obsessive.
In any case, he wondered what you could have said to Jessica to make her exclaim like that.
"The more the merrier," you laughed softly.
"I hate this sentence so much," sighed Jess.
"Why so?" your voice was sincerely interrogative.
"In this context, it's really not my preferred idiom one might say," she replied as Miguel heard her tapping on a pad to enter more information.
What on earth could they be talking about? he wondered. What subject could suggest that six was far too high a number for Jess's judgement? He knew that Jess was an oragnised woman like himself, with a lot of tact and a fair amount of authority.
Was it perhaps a consecutive number of days doing an activity? Six days of marathon running might have been a bit much, but six days' holiday was never too much. He breathed in very softly, it had been years since he'd had time for such a thing. Did you want to take him on a holiday? If so, the number of days was inordinate. He would never be able to get away from his work for more than three days.
Maybe it was something else then. What was too much in Jess's mind with six?
Six empanadas perhaps? Miguel would obviously disagree. You can never have enough empanada for his taste. But Jess would probably disapprove.
Six... Six pets? It's true that having six pets might be a bit of an exaggeration, at least in Miguel's eyes of course.
Perhaps six books? No, that didn't make sense. Although Jess wasn't a huge reader, she did have a book in her hands from time to time.
So what was it? He was intrigued, that's for sure.
"You know, in my opinion, one kid is already way too much to handle," she sighed, "but six ? Nah, that's some good way of ending your life while still being alive."
But Miguel had barely heard the rest of the sentence, his mind having been caught by a single word: kid. He immediately froze, his heart skipping a beat.
Kid, like... children ? Like, actual human beings ? Small human beings ?
His eyes were wide, his mouth parted. No, he must not have heard correctly, although he dreamed that it was indeed that word that had been uttered.
"Why not? Surrounding ourselves with life is good," you said softly. "I'd love to see six little heads running around. I want three of each, three girls and three boys."
He wasn't mistaken: the discussion was really about the number of children you wanted. Six, he thought, six, six, the word echoing in his mind. He put both his hands on his hips, as if to hold on to something.
He pictured you, your rounded belly, stroking the hair of a child, your child, his child... both your children.
He swallowed, however, as another, immensely more tantalising vision took hold of his mind.
The vision of your cunt, glistening with your desire as from between its lips dripped little by little his own cum, his own seed leaking from you, your belly full of him...
It made his dick twitch for a hot second, and he couldn't remove that image, he didn't want to get rid of that image. The idea that your belly could be full of him, that he could breed you until he had no strength left was magnificent.
"What an egalitarian spirit," Jess noted wryly, "Well, it's all in order."
His thoughts were riveted on the image. He could almost hear in his own mind the sweet melody your moans would make as he came inside you again.
No, it was now impossible for him to think about anything else, he told himself that maybe he shouldn't be thinking about this. Except it's a well-known fact that if you tell someone not to think about something, they'll think about it.
He knew what breeding was, obviously, but what about you? Did you even have a clue what it was?
He tried to pull himself together, he had to either leave here or come towards you and pretend to come naturally. Would he be able to hold it together and act as if nothing had happened? Did he really have a choice in the matter after all? He breathed in, tightening his jaw as he decided to come towards you.
He walked purposefully, his usual grumpy face set surprisingly naturally as he advanced towards you.
"Ah, you're back," he sighed as if pleasantly surprised to see you both here, "how was the mission?"
"Excellent," Jess affirmed, "we've just finished the report, the anomaly has been taken care of as it should have been since we arrived."
He nodded, his serious face opening a control pad to check what she was saying and opening the file in question, pretending to read its contents. He had the impression that everywhere he looked the image came right back to him, on every tile, on every screen, everywhere in his mind.
"That's good work," he breathed.
"Damn right," nodded Jess. " Well, I'm off to join my own little demon, take care you two."
"See ya," you replied as she headed for the exit.
He wondered by what superhuman strength he managed to remain unwavering and stoic.
You moved closer to him, hugging his back and comforting yourself in the embrace.
"How was your day?" you asked, squeezing him in your arms.
Unwavering and stoic, Miguel, you have to remain unwavering and stoic.
You put your hands on his body, and with one touch his concentration was simply wiped out.
He turned to you, smiling a strange, uncertain smile as he stroked your hair, a little tense.
"You know how it is, just a lot of work," but his eyes were watching yours strangely, a flash of a vision where they were filled with desire looking back at him.
You studied him for a moment, noticing how distracted he seemed, his eyes looking at you in a strange way. You could feel a kind of desire there, a kind of longing, but you couldn't work out what it was.
"Is... everything alright?"
He shuddered, obviously his little show wasn't going to last much longer. He broke away from your embrace, he couldn't keep looking at you like that.
"Hey," you said softly, "you know you can tell me everything, right?"
Could I tell you this ? he wondered. He looked at you for a moment, another flash of you all moaning and covered in hickeys and marks on your body as you breathed his name. He looked away, closing his eyes in the hopes the flashes would stop.
"I'm afraid I cannot speak about this..."
But how he wanted to speak about this, to tell you how much he wanted to fuck you until you were full of him, until the only thing present in your mouth was his name and how much he wanted to see the sight of your round belly.
But you wouldn't listen to his silence. So you walked over to him and took his hand.
"Miguel, look at me. you asked, and he looked at you, his visions mingling with the reality where you were looking at him, worried. "Tell me."
He sighed. He couldn't run away from his ideas forever, run away from these images that he wanted to see in reality and not just in his mind. He wanted to raise his idea from the theoretical to the practical, and it was with an almost guilty breath that he admitted:
"I want to breed you."
There was a slight silence, his eyes plunged into yours, desperate to know what you were thinking. But above all he was met with confusion.
"What's breeding?" You had an idea of the term, usually used animalistically for the subject of... reproduction and maintenance of species. But just to be on the safe side with Miguel, you preferred to ask him anyway.
His lungs swelled like sails, did he really have to go through this?
"Why don't you ask Lyla what it is?" he suggested.
"Because I want to hear it from you, with your words" you assured him, your tone a mixture of strictness and curiosity.
He sighed, biting the inside of his cheek, slightly afraid of your reaction. You were practically hanging on his every word, waiting for him to explain.
"Breeding is... the act of a male and a female animal having sex, also known as mating, to reproduce..." he explained, pausing, "and procreate."
Your eyes widened slightly, and the possibility that he had overheard your previous conversation with Jess came to mind. All the same, you looked at him almost inscrutably, and he couldn't work out what you were thinking.
But now that the words had been said, he could no longer hide, no, he no longer had to hide. His thoughts were finally out, burning on his skin and lips.
He moved forward a little more, his gaze suddenly darkened by the desires he was no longer hiding.
"I want to fill you up with my cum and make sure you get pregnant."
Your lips were parted, your surprised eyes looking into his, black with desire and longing. A silence filled the air, both your hearts beating loudly in both your bodies. Miguel waited for an answer, unaware of the warm cloud that had settled in your lower belly.
He chuckled a little, an understanding smile gracing his lips as he said:
"See, your silence tells me enoug-"
"Breed me," you cut him off.
He stopped moving immediately, the statement immobilising him just like when he had understood what you and Jess were talking about.
Had his mind and his fantasies come together to play tricks on him? Or had you actually agreed with what he'd just said?
"What?" he said, his pronunciation almost slurred as he turned his attention to your next words.
"Breed me, Miguel" you repeated, determined as you swallowed in anticipation. "I want to carry you... in me."
The gleam in his eyes was almost predatory, but after all, wasn't that the very essence of breeding? The raw nature of it, the bestiality, the quenching of the oldest instinct that ever was.
You only had time to see his eyes turn red as he lunged for your lips, kissing you with his mouth wide open as your teeth almost clashed and he attacked your tongue.
The power with which he kissed you made you take a step backwards, but you weren't going anywhere, because Miguel immediately placed his hand in the small of your back to make sure he had you close to him.
He let out grunts between kisses, his hunger for your skin lengthening his canines as they brushed almost dangerously against your tongue.
Then he lifted you in one swift movement, placing you on his shoulder as he headed for the door leading to his quarters, his impatience growing faster than ever. You bit your lip, already swollen from his kisses, his hand gripping your thigh firmly as he led you to the bed.
He laid you down, following every movement of your body as he kissed you again. He stood back for a moment, watching your body.
"Do you have sentimental value for your suit?"
"What?" you asked, confused by the sudden question.
"Just answer," he asked through clenched teeth.
"I mean it's old but I can live withou-"
You hadn't even finished your sentence when he ripped off your suit with an ease that sent shivers down your spine, ripping the fabric covering your cunt, tearing your panties and throwing all the rags into the rest of the room.
"No questions about the sentimental value of my underwear?" you laugh lightly.
"I'll get you some new ones," he breathed, a carnivorous sneer inhabiting his lips, "I'll take great care in chosing them."
You swallowed as he kissed your neck, nestling in and marking your skin with thirst. He straightened to kiss your lips, and whispered against them:
"Turn over, get down on your elbows and knees".
You complied, his instructions increasing the size of the cloud of heat in your belly. You placed your folded arms flat on the sheets, your knees slightly apart.
"Lift your hips for me, nena," he commanded in a tone as soft as cotton.
You listened, arching your back as you lifted your hips, your ass gloriously up just for him to fuck. He swallowed, his hand coming to grip one of your buttocks and pulling it apart, pressing it between his fingers and gripping your skin full hand.
"Already so good and wet for me," he mused, one of his fingers passing between your folds.
Of course you were already wet, the way he had introduced the concept to you making you all fuzzy and warm in your belly. You'd never been against the idea of Miguel being a bit more violent, and to be honest you were excited by the idea of him being so from now on.
Once he'd coated himself sufficiently, he pushed one finger into you, soft moans falling from your lips filling the room. He added another one, and your lust was growing by the second. You were getting impatient too, but you couldn't help noticing that Miguel simply couldn't wait any longer.
Miguel was always very keen about taking his time, preparing you well apart from the few moments when one of you needed a quicky, but here eagerness was getting the better of him, and above all his most instinctive desires buried deep inside him had taken the reigns of all his actions.
The thought of him being in you through your core made him feel so drunk on you. These ideas had already been marinating in his mind for a while, it had only taken this conversation between you and Jess to flip the switch. And he observed in adoration, seeing you like this, underneath him with your much smaller frame, sitting up and ready to take him.
"Hands behind your back."
His orders became more and more urgent, his tone wavering with envy. It was impossible for him to formulate a whole sentence.
So you laid your face on the sheets, cheek pressed to your side as you brought your hands behind your back, joining your wrists together like you were imagining yourself handcuffed. You shivered as his hand, whose fingers had previously been inside you, reached out from between your folds and took both your wrists at the same time, locking them in this embrace. His hand was obviously big enough to hold both your wrists together and prevent you from breaking free from his grip.
He had locked you completely.
He had blocked out any possibility of you making a move other than squirming around him. Miguel would never tire of this control, this hold he had over you right now. You were his, nobody else's, and he would let eveybody know this by fucking his seed into you and get as many babies as you wanted.
That's when you felt the head of his dick coating itself with your juices, preparing to burry himself into you. You couldn't see Miguel like this, but you could hear him. Dark growls vibrated in his throat, deeper than you'd ever heard them before, and it felt intimidating.
He thrust, pushing his tip into you, and you let out a groan of relief that sank into the fabric of the sheets. You breathed softly, letting Miguel's thick, long cock sink into you. No matter how many times you had done it, taken him like that, you still couldn't get used to it.
His lower belly finally touched the skin of your ass, his dick deep inside you. And you felt him pressing against your stomach. You knew that if you brought one of your hands to your stomach, you'd feel the shape of his cock against your skin.
He was so deep in you, an almost bestial growl escaped him as he slowly began to pull back before thrusting in hard.
You let out a little cry of surprise and pleasure that echoed around the room, and he repeated the same gesture. He kept bearing down on you until he touched your slick on his lower belly and pulling away, pushing back in the next second until it'd touch his balls.
Your body was burning, unable to do anything but arch your back more and groan. Your hands were gripping the void, and the impossibility of finding a foothold in all this was making you feel out of control. But you were enjoying the sensations he was giving you, and so was he.
He listened to the symphony of your voice as he picked up the pace, the feeling of your gummy walls wrapping all tight and warm around him was absolute perfection to him.
He knew it wouldn't be long before his first cum would hit, but he needn't have worried. Miguel could go on for a long, long time, and he just hoped that you could keep up, although he had no doubt that his best girl would live up to his expectations.
He could no longer string a sentence together properly, the words he was trying to whisper as he sank deep inside you coming out as if chewed up by his long fangs.
He grunted, his rhythm and the tilt of your two bodies giving you both exceptional sensations. The knot in your stomach tightened, threatening to burst as Miguel came closer.
And the world stopped spinning for a second.
You came together, your walls closing spasmodically around him as you felt him spill into you. Because that's what you wanted, right ? That's the one thing you desired, and he was going to give it to you entirely.
He pulled out, just for the pleasure of seeing the work he had so long dreamed of seeing. And the satisfaction was superb, his white creamy cum slowly pouring out of your wet cunt, still pulsing with desire.
A dark laugh rose from his throat as he sank back into you and you let out a startled moan. He lowered himself, his lips pressing against your ear.
"I hope you thought of six names."
It would be a long, long night.
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shanastoryteller · 4 months ago
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i know spn hates good writing and also sam, but the dumpster fire of s4 really could have been salvaged if they'd just played ruby and castiel straight
by which i mean
ruby should have been one of the good guys (honestly it feels like the writers changed their minds last second regarding her anyway)
castiel should have been the villain (which, let's be clear, he totally was)
the point of this is that it would force dean to confront his own bullshit and maybe figure himself out, which not only would have been good television but would have been satisfying to me, personally
sam's problem is that he wants there to be a good equal to every evil. that he believes goodness exists even where it doesn't, that he always wants to give things a chance, that he always has hope. they sound like good traits, up until they're used against him. they reach the station of angels are bad eventually, but it should have been more immediate and visceral, that there is no greater good here. sam should have had this knocked out of him, which would have shattered him in way, to lose this thing he's depended on his whole life, but it really would have hammered home that it's choices that really do matter, not circumstances
dean's problem is always that he sees monsters as monsters with no grey area, that sam always has to play his moral center the second anything becomes complicated. then he goes to hell, breaks, tortures innocents, and an angel yanks him out and tells him that he's a righteous man
dean desperately desperately wants this to be true
because it's sam who they had to look out for, sam who was destined to go darkside, sam with the demon blood
dean doesn't have that excuse
he's just a human man with a hunger for violence who never learned to curb his appetite. who was instead pushed to gorging himself on it, who is left broken and desperate and angry by what he did to save himself. his whole life, his whole self perception for thirty years, was about protecting innocents. then he betrays that in hell. do you think he kept count? how many innocents he destroyed against how many he saved? the day it equaled out, do you think he wished he could weep?
dean is so unbelievably messed up by hell. not the torture he endured, that's barely a blip, but the torture he inflicted is what haunts him
so he needs for sam to be the bad guy
he's using his powers, he's hanging out with demons, he's drinking demon blood. he's the monster. he's inhuman
(he's using his powers and hanging out with demons and drinking demon blood and still he's doing less harm than dean, still he's trying to save people. dean can't accept this, because he can't be the rotten one. he'll forgive sam anything, but never himself, so it has to be sam. because he can fix sam, he'll always love his brother, so if he's evil there's stil a path forward there. but if it's dean? if he's the one going evil? sam's left him before. why would he stay now? if dean is the one going darkside then he loses everything. himself. his brother. it has to be sam)
dean is projecting all his own shit onto sam because he can't deal with any of it, which is why he treats sam like shit, why he treats him in a way that he's never treated him before. it's how he treats himself. and sam has no idea what to do with this, is left reeling and hurt and broken himself by dean doing this to him. sam never thought dean would leave him to die in the panic room, because dean wouldn't, not the dean he's known his whole life, not the dean that loves him. not alone.
but dean would do that to himself. and since sam is his proxy for himself, it's what he does to sam, but sam doesn't know that so all he feels is the weight of betrayal and grief and rage
isn't it funny, almost? the demons brought sam back just as he was, exactly the same. the angels bring back dean but he's not the same. dean comes back wrong, comes back different. but no one wants to say that. to deal with it
having ruby be evil and castiel venerated justifies all of dean's spiraling, all of his punishment. he was right all along, sam was the problem, don't you see?
boring
ruby stays loyal to sam, a demon who chooses something different, who chooses the boy with the demon blood because there's something compelling about sam winchester, as tempting as the apple before eve, and ruby didn't get where she is by knowing better
(remember when sam pulled all the psychic kids together, acted as leader, and resisted azazel? there is a leader in sam, a compassion in him, that azazel had to cheat in order to beat. and if ruby can show him how to win against demons then-)
castiel let sam out of the panic room. he's following orders, because that's his job, and damn the consequences. this should have been seen as the act of betrayal and evil that it was, castiel proving he was never really on their side at all, never on the side of preventing harm. it also would have made his redemption arc mean something, it would have given castiel a lot more to work with if they'd had to really bring him back over
ruby realizes too late what killing lilith means. tries to stop sam, but now that she's here it's too late, kill or be killed. sam accepts that, is willing to die rather than start the apocalypse. but then dean is there, and he can't watch his brother die again, he just can't. so he kills lilith to save dean, when he would have been willing to die himself
ruby gets them out of there. they discover what castiel did, that he pushed forward the apocalypse rather than prevented it
this breaks dean. he finally snaps, but it's good, because everything he'd used to shore himself up before had been terrible and rotted and corrosive
a righteous man is not a good man. dean is forced to confront everything he's done in hell, and after he'd gotten back, everything he put sam through, how he left him in that panic room and almost killed him, how he's treated him for the past year. how it was a demon who tried to help in the end and an angel that damned them
and how sam saved him anyway, damn the consequences
we should have returned to what the show had been building up to from the beginning - that sam loves his brother enough to do terrible things and dean has no idea how to deal with that
so we've got sam and dean on the run with ruby, castiel's slower and much juicier redemption arc, and dean having to pick up the pieces of himself while sam tries to figure out how he gets them out this mess. and sam's guilt is justified here, his aching sense of responsibility, because this time he kills lilith knowing it'll free lucifer. he makes that choice, for dean. and he's determined to fix it
just. demon blood tainted sam and turncoat ruby trying to save the world. the angels trying to end it. all while dean finally accepts the crushing guilt of what he's done and starts to work through it, starts to work on becoming the brother sam lost, on once more being the steady thing sam can hold onto no matter what it takes, because sam choosing him reminds him of something he'd told himself he forgot
he doesn't want to be a righteous man, a torturer, a demon, a victim, a martyr
he just wants to be sam's brother. the one he looks up to, depends on, loves
he wants what he's always wanted
to feel worthy of his little brother's affection
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polaris-stuff · 2 months ago
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Dear TSAMS fandom, repeat after me:
Earth don't has to forgive Lunar.
Lunar essentially caused her a disability that cannot be easily cured. She cannot simply move to another body and say "problem fixed" just because the receptors in this body are burned. I'm not sure but I think it was mentioned several times that moving her to another body would just burn out the pain receptors in that body as well? So she would be in pain again?
And I don't know about you, but I love seeing disability representation on the show. She is a character with chronic pain and has to use a wheelchair, showing how much she struggles to have a normal life like she used to have, I personally am not disabled but I have friends who are and seeing them struggle for their life everyday breaks my heart, so seeing how happy it makes them that Earth is just like them makes me happy too.
"But Kat is not disabled! She shouldn't pretend to be" Dude, it's called acting. It's having a character that you have to play. Have you ever seen TV shows with characters who have X or Y disease or disability? More than 90% of their actors do not have that disease in real life. You are just hating because you want to hate.
"But she said she cant stand for too long and she have a whole conversación standing!" Have you ever thought about why it's called "chronic panic" for a reason? And that anger, rage, and adrenaline make a person do things they wouldn't normally do? And that after that adrenaline wears off, the person gets the worst pain of their life? And hey, have you ever thought about how IS A 2D CHARACTER. THAT IS NOT AFFECTING YOU LIFE AT ALL. And she makes so many people with chronic pain happy, they are having someone who understand them but, oh no, "She's not like me so ofc she's bad at it and it's offensive because I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT MYSELF FOR 5 MINUTES"
So kindly, stop criticizing Earth for every breath she takes for god's sake! You don't even try to be empathetic to her suffering, you're just thinking like "you don't like this so it's bad".
Earth is there, suffering the consequences of Lunar's tantrum and you're all just criticizing how she's "bad representation" because she can easily get fix when SHE CAN'T.
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questionablecuttlefish · 1 month ago
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Okay Fine Let's Talk Timebomb and Season Two.
I do want to talk about this because I have a Lot of thoughts and feelings and it has been building up and building up, not only based on what's happening in other social spaces, but what people keep bringing into mine despite my best efforts to avoid it.
This isn't any kind of hatepost, I don't think I could hate Ekko or the ship if I tried, I just want to explain my very mixed feelings about the whole thing.
My likely-to-be-very unpopular take on Season Two's Timebomb romance is that it left me feeling uneasy and uncomfortable.
Not with what was in the show itself, I feel like that was perfect. Powder and Ekko sold me completely. They made me feel things. I even liked how Ekko and Jinx's story ended. I think it was beautiful, poignant, perfect...
...until.
'The Discourse' since, the way the fan culture has exploded around it, and particularly some of the creators' commentary on it, has made me sour on the whole thing.
It feels like I'm suddenly part of an increasingly small subset of people who saw what they did with S2 Timebomb and applied our media literacy to what was on our screens and got something very different to what the fandom consensus seems to be.
For context, I semi-shipped TB before this. Though I've always been Team Lightcannon, I had a lot of respect for timebomb, I understood it, I had read a few very good fics, I was just in the space of "Jinx has hurt Ekko too much for him to ever fully forgive her for murdering his friends, they might come to an understanding, and there will always be a silent undercurrent of love beneath the hurt, they may fight together on the same side again someday, but whatever bond they had as kids is broken and they can't go back, and both know it."
I respected, and still do, people who shipped them romantically, but I've always seen them as a broken childhood friendship being a much more interesting dynamic, and being hot for each other lessening that to an extent and not really adding anything to it.
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All of his interactions with Jinx in season one are violent; she murders five Firelights point-blank in front of him in her intro scene, and Ekko reacts particularly upset to the pink-haired girl, Eve or Eva, whom Jinx shoots in the back. It's clear this isn't even the first time she's fought them. We don't know how many of Ekko's found family she's put on the Memorial Wall or how close he was with any of them.
Ekko is clearly convinced that "Powder" is gone, and the person who replaced her is a cold-blooded killer who can't be reasoned with. Leading to the Bridge confrontation, and this:
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This is the first time Ekko catches a glimpse of "Powder", yes, but more importantly, this is the first moment he recognizes Jinx's humanity. He's hurting her, killing her, and he can't do it.
....and she knows he can't do it.
So, to save him the weight, she pulls a grenade, with the intent to kill them both, foreshadowing quite neatly where Ekko/Jinx (but not Ekko/Powder) is going to go in S2.
Fast forwarding from Season One here, Ekko disappears for 2/3rds of the second season, completely offscreen.
When we catch up with him he's woken up in the S2E7 AU; the Powder Timeline.
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Here's where I start to get a little confused by the fandom take. Because, you know, I've seen enough Star Trek and Stargate and Supernatural and Batman the Animated Series and Quantum Leap to know exactly what this is.
This is the 'bottle episode', this is the 'Perfect World' trope, where the protagonists find themselves in an alternate universe - or trapped in a dream - or they've died or think they've died and this is their 'heaven' - where they have everything they ever wanted.
This is familiar storytelling and E2 follows a familiar pattern, the protagonist struggles to adapt to the surreal new circumstances, they are seduced by the illusion, particularly falling in love with someone in the Perfect World, but eventually, they start noticing something incongruous - something isn't quite right - (In this case, it's Vi's death, and Powder holding back her genius and hiding her grief to be support girl for others) - that reveals the Perfect World to be not as perfect as it seems.
And the hero has to choose to go home, because he realizes that this isn't real, it doesn't belong to him, he doesn't belong here.
Which is exactly what happens with Ekko in E7.
Which brings is to AU!Powder and Jinx.
And here's where I really start to struggle with the seeming consensus that the romance between Ekko/Powder automatically leads to Ekko/Jinx, like you can just transfer the one to the other.
I'm sorry, fam, I thought my basic media literacy was telling me that this girl:
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Is not the same person as this girl:
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....and I am not getting into any debate about "Jinx" vs "Powder" as identities within our current Jinx. I'm talking about Powder in the E7 AU.
AU!Powder is literally a different human being.
She may have been the same person up until the explosion in Jayce's laboratory, but from that fork in the timeline, she becomes a FUNDAMENTALLY different person to Jinx, shaped by different experiences, different relationships, different life events.
Powder's physicality with Ekko, as you can see in those GIFs, the casual intimacy, the clear affection, the way she touches him, looks at him, her awareness of him in her space, is so utterly opposite to the way Jinx interacts with him that if anything, it nailed home to me how savagely absent this kind of feeling is from his relationship with Jinx.
Powder loves Ekko. She leans on him, snuggles into him, touches his hands, dances with him, kisses him.
Jinx cares so little about him she barely makes eye contact and would casually kill him without blinking.
And I thought that was the point.
I really thought that was the whole point of E7. Being in the perfect world, getting his perfect love story with his perfect Powder, the girl Jinx could have been, but can never be, drove home for Ekko that his feelings for Jinx, both romantic and resentful, were tangled up in his illusions of "Powder", and it took living those illusions as a physical reality for Ekko to see his mistake.
To be true to himself, and true to her, Ekko had to let that go and go home.
To face his world's Jinx, and be there for her in her darkest moment, even if it meant giving up the love he'd found with Powder, a love that belonged to a different Ekko, for someone who could never love him back.
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To me that was Ekko's most heroic moment, an act of selfless sacrifice. But that's what it was - a sacrifice.
Meanwhile, Season Two Jinx is not aware of any of this. The last time she saw Ekko was on the bridge where she nearly killed him, and for all we know she might have thought she succeeded.
She never talks about, thinks about, refers to, or even has scribble-nightmares about Ekko, not even once.
Season Two Jinx is, instead, having a love story of her own.
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And Isha was and is a PUZZLE to me. Because she's more plot device than character, she isn't necessary except as a way to give Jinx a villain-to-hero arc and a way to reconnect to her humanity.
But she could have been Ekko.
If they really, really wanted us to have Timebomb Canon, instead of confining the entire arc to a bottle episode in an alternate timeline with a literally, physically different girl, they could easily have given all of Isha's considerable screentime to an Ekko and Jinx romance.
I'm sure Amanda Overton would have been on board with that. But that's not what we got. It's almost like reading two different fix-it-fanfics for the same character, put into the same show and running in parallel.
I'm not crazy, this is what's happening for Ekko in s2;
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While this is happening for Jinx at the same time.
But Jinx's love story, too, ends with a tragic sacrifice.
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And here's where the two stories finally intersect.
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When Jinx is in her darkest moment, her absolute rock bottom, Ekko comes back into her life, a miracle, impossible, a Boy Savior.
But she's still ready to kill him.
Because she didn't dance with Ekko. She didn't invent a time machine with him. She didn't sit and watch the city lights with him and share a tender kiss and a heartfelt gift.
That was Powder.
Jinx and Ekko are resuming right where they left off on the bridge, right back to "I pull this pin and we both blow up".
They've both loved and lost, but their stories are absolutely unknown to each other. Ekko Doesn't Know About Isha. Jinx Doesn't Know About Powder.
It's only when Jinx (a genius, a reminder here) sees monkeys of her own design inside the Z-drive - recognizes her own handiwork, but knows SHE didn't make those - that, I think, sheer curiosity stirs her out of her darkness.
She has to know what that was about. She hesitates, just long enough for Ekko to speak. And, though offscreen, he tells her his story, and maybe she tells him hers.
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And it's enough, just enough, to set Jinx back on her Redemption Arc, to become the hero Isha always saw in her.
Maybe even the hero Vi and Ekko saw in her, too. Her new costume is full of references to all of the people in her life who never gave up on her.
(side note, the yellow stars and crowns puzzle me, though - they're quite prominent, but who are THEY for? Isha? Maybe? Yellow isn't a color associated with anyone in Jinx's life, but that crown's identical to the one she scribbled on Demacia in Fortiche's map, is... this a very subtle future Lightcannon tease? Nah. I'm not that crazy.)
I mean her costume is also almost literally both a Fishbones and a Fiddlesticks cosplay, with her hair as Fiddle's tongue, so take from that what you will.
It's clear Jinx and Ekko war painted each other for the battle, but the Firelights are also similarly painted up, and (with Linke even confirming this) there really wasn't time to develop anything else, guys.
And I am, honestly, fundamentally angry at anyone who would suggest that, even if she'd been in any space to want it, our boy Ekko, one of the most genuinely good men in recent fiction let alone in Arcane, would take advantage of a girl he just talked out of suicide.
Moving on. During the battle, Ekko is knocked out and lying not far from Jinx. She doesn't even look at him, she leaps up to defend Vi instead.
And that's their final interaction on the show.
Instead of returning to Ekko, Jinx chooses one final act of sacrifice.
Ekko's final shot of the show is this.
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He's sitting, alone, burning a mourning paper, where he sat with AU!Powder - where he and AU!Powder kissed - a place that has no significance to himself and Jinx, whatsoever.
It's little wonder who he's thinking about here, and which name he's burning on that paper. The girl he truly loved and lost.
For all he knows, Jinx is dead. But it's not only her he's mourning.
Or maybe he does know, or suspect, she's alive.
But either way, he's making one final act of sacrifice, too, with that paper burning into the breeze.
He's letting her go.
He's choosing his own story.
He's staying where he belongs.
Jinx may have become a symbol of the revolution, but it's Ekko who is, and always will be, the true hero of Zaun.
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And this is Jinx's final shot.
Because let's face it, we all know she's on that airship.
She's "breaking the cycle". She's "walking away". She knows that Jinx has left too many scars on the people she still loves - on Vi, on Ekko, on the cities of Piltover and Zaun - for her to pick up the pieces.
She knows that if she's going to find out what "Jinx" might stand for now, she has to go very far away from everything and everyone. She has to leave it all behind and find something new.
Maybe even someone new?
And ultimately, that's why I feel the Timebomb we got was perfect, they shouldn't touch it, they shouldn't try to force it to be "Endgame", not because it couldn't have worked, but because that's the opposite of the story they told.
For the rest of my analysis, lol, this got a bit long but i have FEELINGS.
Now, I'm not saying I wouldn't buy Jinx and Ekko as a love story if they had actually told that love story. But they didn't. It had no screen time. They have less interactions in S2, maybe even in both seasons added up, than Vi and Loris. Let that sink in a bit.
We know it's Amanda's favorite ship, so she may have intended more, and may even actually give us all more at some point, but please, dear god, let's stop pretending they fucked or kissed or even held hands offscreen.
That's honestly a bit insulting to both of these characters, to insist hell or high water that this very important milestone in their relationship happened, but they just didn't even bother to depict it. That an entire love story (because it would be a whole one, remember, Ekko and Powder had a romance but Jinx did not experience any of that, she and Ekko are back at Square One) would just be cut for time.
They both deserve better than that.
Let's stop pretending there was some grand, horny, Forever Love story with 60 minutes of cut footage, all of it timebomb content, somehow left on the cutting room floor of an animated show where every single frame has to be deliberately hand painted.
Because if in some insane universe they had written, storyboarded, voice acted and animated an entire 60 minute additional timebomb storyline and then cut it from the show, that would itself be a searing indictment of the quality of the storytelling in that imagined arc, but that's not what happened. Anyone who knows how filmmaking works would shoot this one down, and the showrunners already have, so let's leave it behind.
I know Timebomb blew up hard, and I get it, but what we got on the screen is not confirmation that there is any relationship at all between Ekko and Current Timeline Jinx. If anything, Ekko and Powder's beautiful romance only highlighted the tragic 'never to be' of Ekko and Jinx.
And it's absolutely fine to look at the art book, look at the creator comments, and imagine what could have been. Draw the fan art, write the fanfic, imagine the what-ifs and the fix-its, those are all beautiful and valid expressions and deserve their space.
But don't go insisting it's "the canon" and going after the shippers of other ships for these characters as "not canon" or somehow offensive for existing, especially toward one particular ship that, yes, has been around much longer than timebomb, is uncool.
I think this is mostly people who are New From Arcane, it's Baby's First Ship and they don't know how to share space. The timebomb fans I knew pre-season two didn't do this, at least not often enough for me to notice or care.
But I'll just say to them, if a Timebomb follow up happens and they actually tell a good love story for Ekko and Jinx, I will accept it. Grudgingly, because I think Lux/Jinx is an untold, untapped story full of incredible character dynamics that would complete Jinx's story in ways that as much as I love Ekko, he's too tied to her past, he can't.
But I love Ekko, and I love Jinx, and I will accept it.
But I'll also say to them, if the followup doesn't eventuate, if things take a turn they don't expect, if Jinx's airship is heading for Demacia, maybe they'll have to experience just a taste of what it's been like for Lightcannon fans for ten long years.
And maybe that's healthy. Maybe that's okay. Maybe our endgames don't need to be 'canon' to have value and that's a lesson we should learn.
Maybe there's a new Light on her horizon, and that's okay too. Maybe Ekko won't be alone forever. Don't forget - until Arcane - his story had nothing to do with Jinx, and there was a whole lot of it.
More with the Firelights, maybe bring in the original Lost Children of Zaun from his old stories, his inventions, his parents, all could yet be in his future. Who knows? He might find a way back to AU!Powder - or she might rebuild what they worked on together, and come to him, no matter what butterfly effects that could set in motion...
But if Jinx is heading for a Light on her horizon, maybe Ekko might Explore some of his possibilities. Find a new Spark of connection. Just saying. Jinx isn't his only ship, either 😌
And it is okay for people to move on, and let go. Maybe, for two characters whose themes are letting go of the past, living in the moment, redefining their identities, and moving on, that's what their story should be.
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rhiandoesfandom · 5 months ago
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Helluva Boss has a grey plot. It goes back and forth on morals and is hypocritical of itself sometimes and I like that actually. Because that's real life.
In real life you will get someone who started a fuck buddy thing then catches feelings and feels icky about it and wants to make it something real but the other person is thrown off.
In real life you get someone who was forced into parenthood from a young age and has known nothing *but* that, and has delved their whole personality into hobbies like romance novels and fantasies.
In real life you get a married couple who are attached at the hip until they say or do something that trigger one another and then they have a fight, but because of how closely theyre bonded they apologize and forgive easily.
In real life you get an abusive marriage with a kid attached and that kid has been sheltered from everything their parents ever fought about, and now is shocked to realize they hate each other.
In real life you get a guy who's in a class position where he not only becomes resentful and angry of those in a higher one, but becomes some one who kills ppl because of having to play along with the system that put him there.
In real life you get a girl being adopted right at 18, to be finally given the family she's craved and given unconditional love, and for that parental figure to be the most permissive parent ever, even putting themselves under the bus for their child every single time.
In real life you get someone who can't commit to relationships because they think they aren't worthy for them, and needs a huge wakeup call by being forced to confront that they've hurt people because of it to be able to move on and be happy.
Helluva Boss is great because real life is hell. But it's what you make of it that counts.
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