#LIKE evil middle aged boss dude??

[tvb0y]

why does elias low key sound hot…

[nihiltism]

I know I've infodumped this before but not as its own post so let's go. what I'd do if I was in charge of making a live a live anime. I am ignoring the fact that I desperately want it to be a musical because that's not going to happen so ask me about my Separate thoughts about what I'd do if I was in charge of making a The Day The Night Slept The Album-ening of live a live.

ok so my Basic Idea is I'd let the show have a 13 episode (maybe 14? does that happen?) first season. I assume each of the first 7 chapters would need about 2 episodes, but I can see some that end in one like wild west or Definitely present day. I could also see some taking longer though, like distant future and near future. it'd even itself out I think to average to 2 episodes each.

it'd be an anthology series basically. a bunch of non-connected stories, but tied together by one key point. a narrator. see I have a Framing Device idea here and it's that we know odio from the very beginning, but never see his face or know who he is. this is very inspired by princess tutu here but here the stories are actively being Read by somebody outside of it, and occasionally he takes the reins to bend the retelling a bit, likely in the chapter boss' favor. note that while the anime is actually Playing and showing the characters, if the narrator does decide to kick in the characters will likely not be doing what he says they are, and they Definitely cannot hear him. it's an unreliable narrator story, but to the point where it's pretty easy to tell that he's biased. in practice how this probably would go would be like in princess tutu, occasionally when a character reaches a point that justifies his own philosophy in some way he'll cut in and monologue about The Nature Of Man Bringing Only Tragedy or whatever the fuck. also maybe cutting in to give the chapter villains some sympathy for the devil, maybe at the end to close each story out as he turns the last page? I dunno I don't want to be Too obvious but like. odio does sound pretty damn evil by default so maybe it'd be obvious anyway.

anyway! that's season one. anthology of short stories. on the final episode I'd leave it hanging on him picking up one last book or something, but I'd let that be told in either a short season (again, do these happen?) or a movie ??? anyway that would start out with the middle ages chapter, which I don't think will have any narration? I'm iffy on this? it'd be cool to see his retrospective thoughts on his own story but also, that's a bit heavy-handed, I'm not sure. anyway the thing is that around the end, when oersted breaks into his soliloquy at the archons roost. there I think we'd get a sort of cut-in, as halfway through our narrator starts reading it out himself. shut book camera pan Blonde Man Jumpscare I think that's the best way to go about the "oh shit the villain is the protag of that story" reveal. also it'd be fun. anyway that'd be either the beginning chunk or the first two? episodes?

from here I'm not Exactly sure how to frame it because all of the endings are Very important, but also kind of. happen at the same time? I do not know how to do this. the easy way would just be to have it remain anthology-ish, and have say the boss rush version of the dominion of hate be one story while the rest is another, but I don't think that fits into the framing device well. mm?? I have no idea. I think we're good without the bad ending of the dominion of hate happening as long as the "if you kill this dude you'll end up just as fucked as him" message gets conveyed in some way or another but I don't think we can skip the whole other version of the DoH.

maybe we can play it less as Actually Happening and more a what if scenario?? more odio just. Fucking Talking Alone Again about what Could be if not for Man's Folly^tm. I think that'd get the point across, be a good intro for the rest of the dominion of hate and stay in universe but it would Not have the added bonus of "ok you kicked around a bunch of jrpg protagonists now what. did that make you feel any better" unless we tried to hammer that home in a different way. and oh boy do I not have a single idea what to do with the armageddon ending. maybe instead just have him mention how if he and the other odios were Still denied he'd have the page burnt entirely or something. maybe at the end. shrugs. there's not a ton I can do here.

eh. anyway the actual dominion of hate would likely be more based in the protagonists than anything, likely picking a main character (Probably Akira) and not having a Narrator as much as just being in the mc's head from time to time. though I Do like the idea of odio still being there Attempting to nudge the protags and them being actually able to hear him this time, it'd have to be used infrequently. or not at all. there is a certain merit to them not knowing anything about him until getting to the archons roost but Us knowing a lot. I dunno. anyway I think this adaptation would have a lot more interactions between the protagonists (desperately needed) and I think that'd take up most of the runtime there, we can incorporate the trials if we want to (trial of heart is necessary to be sure but the rest really aren't, so it can be a good dungeon for the whole team to go through and have some more plot-motivated character moments) but I think Getting The Band Together might already take a good amount of time if we don't rush past good chances for character building or interaction. I want it to feel like the mcs Do actually start to be a team that is the thing I have the Most problems with about the game, though in doing so that will mean we're gonna have to do away with the 4 character party thing unless we want to have them split up sometimes. that's details. the point is that it's going to be All the mcs together most of the time and hopefully it doesn't feel crowded.

anyway from there it kind of goes as expected, except with the aforementioned (we don't need to have the bad ending be its own thing but we do need to mention the consequences). maybe somebody of the team Does try to grant oersteds wish before being held back or something. for similarities reasons I say oboro but this can be wiggled. anyway I also think around the actual Ending ending you'd get more than just one monologue from the mcs, you'd probably get more of like. an actual Conversation I guess? the mcs building off of each other's points to oersted? I dunno I'm spitballing here I do think it would Start Off with akira's ending though and then somebody scruffs him and continues off from there. I dunno the important thing is that everybody should get a word in or perhaps a hug in in the case of pogo. I think that's it though? I probably won't return to the plot device to show like another book being closed or whatever that is purely A Plot Device so it'd be weird to have it come back after oersted was Thoroughly Dead. I will say though if the live a live anime has an ED it's gotta have sin of odio in the A that's the law.

[ladyirisreviews]

Breath of Fire - Review

I had this game on my backlog for ages, and I finally played it, though after playing so many modern RPGs I felt let down by it.

This doesn't mean it doesn't deserve to be talked about however, as this is still a very interesting game and a classic indeed, even if that means it's archaic in some ways.

let's start by explaining a bit about the game.

Released by Capcom in 1992, Breath of Fire was the first RPG made by the company.

Set in a world with different tribes of beast-men, some even able to transform into big creatures, a clan known as the dark dragons plans on taking over the world.

And after getting attacked by them and barely surviving, everything falls into the shoulders of a young man of the light dragon clan, the main character.

As you advance through the story you'll meet various characters that will join you in your quest to free the lands they inhabit.

As far as storytelling goes, the intro has the most immersive narration in all of the game, and it's easy to miss, you have to wait for quite some time on the title screen.

Outside of it, most of the dialogue of the game is very direct, characters telling you where to go, what to do, and the usual NPCs that give some clues on things you might need to do.

Scenes, where the main characters interact with each other, are few and far between, making them dry despite having interesting designs.

The antagonists also fail at being interesting, it's just the usual unidimensional team of evil dudes who want to control the world, not that it's a bad thing but like I said, after playing so many modern RPGs this feels substantially less special.

Now let's talk about the battle system, your options are:

Fight, Auto Battle, Run, Status, Change row (Front row or back row), and Change character for a reserve character.

In the fight option there's a normal attack, block, magic or item, auto-battle will make all the party members attack with their normal attack until the battle ends or until you press B, which is quite faster than with normal commands.

Despite having 2 functions that are uncommon for RPGs at this time, the auto-battle and changing party members in the middle of a fight, the way battles go is extremely straightforward.

You attack until you need to heal, and that's it.

Because of this healing items are very important early on, before you get any healing spells.

Also, spells are not very valuable for most of the game, you'll mostly be using the healing spells, because the damage spells do a set damage, and it never increases no matter how much your character levels up, and buffing spells don't do that much of a difference either.

It's until the end of the game that you get spells that can do some decent damage, but they get overshadowed by other much stronger options you'll have available by then.

I also felt elemental weaknesses weren't a thing, or that the reward for them wasn't substantial, so normal attacks were the main way to deal damage, at least the auto-battle helps you to not mash the A button over and over.

I found out later that elemental weaknesses are a thing but because they only do double damage, and spells do very little damage, is hardly worth it anyway.

The most strategic thing you can do in this game is to move a character from the front to the back, which only changes the damage it receives and takes.

Random battles go by quick because of the auto-battle, but bosses can take a while, you might expect that you need some planning on the bosses, so the auto-battle function shouldn't be used, but the vast majority of them play out the same as a random battle, except the hp pool is much larger.

Most of them have this mechanic that is called a second wind, where you deplete the boss hp bar but it stays alive, I am not gonna lie, it surprised me at first and I thought that when they were in this state you had to do specific actions to win the fight, but it's just like an invisible second bar of hp, and the surprise effect wears off very fast when you realize this.

I can only think of 1 boss battle that was good because it had a gimmick that required you to examine what was happening and change your attacks accordingly, but it is a letdown that most bosses are the same thing over and over again.

But what about the dungeons?

Well, the dungeon design on this game is also very simplistic, all the fork roads or mechanics they might have are only to get chests, which in the vast majority of cases will be equipment that isn't that far, or even lower than the one you could buy at the last town, or common use items, making most of the extra exploration in dungeons feel a bit pointless, there are a few actually good rewards but, as you can guess, they are pretty rare.

The dungeons are also very short, and none have actual puzzles, the closest thing to a puzzle is picking the correct path on multiple fork roads.

The overworld is also pretty small all things considered, but both the world and dungeons feel bigger than they are because of the very high encounter rate that permeates most of the game, it helps that they are fast and that the auto-battle function is there I guess, but it only makes the battles a little distraction rather than the core gameplay of your RPG.

The nice graphics and the battle music changing a few times through the game helps a little bit in making the game less monotonous, but still, they keep feeling like interruptions to the exploration rather than actual gameplay, and I think the exploration part of this game is pretty good.

Through the game you will encounter some obstacles you can't get over because they require specific party members to be in the leading position, and by pressing A they can do a special action exclusive to them, or by their presence alone they can achieve something, however, the game is not specific on what your characters can do, and this can lead you into situations where you can't progress because you don't know character have an overworld ability, but when you do know it is satisfying to travel back to places where you couldn't get something and get rewarded for remembering, and these rewards can be actually worth the hassle.

Next, I want to talk a bit about towns, I wouldn't normally make a point out of them but bear with me for a moment.

Towns are where you will get your next objectives, upgrade your equipment, rest, and stock on items, you know, the standard, the game also has a day and night cycle, on the day most of the NPCs will be outside of their houses but at night they will be found inside, which is a nice detail.

The towns don't have anything wrong with them technically, but I find it frustrating to explore them, and all for a simple reason.

You see, when you enter a house, almost always the music of the town will be replaced for this theme, and this happens throughout all of the game, it ends up being very annoying, the actual town themes are nice, but listening to the start over and over again starts to get frustrating.

Again, it's not a big thing but it's something that personally bothered me, outside of that theme, I found the music to be generally nice all around.

All this complaining must make you think I really don't like this game, but the truth is that I don't mind it, for its time, even if there were way better RPGs out there, it's a pretty ok game.

It's like if the team in charge of this tried to make a very basic RPG, but have it be very polished, sure it isn't perfect but it has accessibility stuff that some games that came after it didn't, an auto-battle for random encounters, a very handy warp spell, loses that only take money out of you instead of being an instant game over, and an item to make random encounters disappear for a while.

It's certainly not a game I would recommend if you want a full and rich RPG experience, considering how much better games there are out there now.

But if you are specifically into old RPGs, I think it's a game I could recommend, or you know, if you always play a series from the beginning, like me.

Not everyone wants to play an RPG with an extensive story, some people just like the satisfaction of going through an RPG and finishing it, and I get that, so if you want to give this game a go, there are some tips I can give you to make the experience as smooth as possible.

Item names can be funky sometimes, so always check in the item menu what an item does, this is another cool feature not any RPG had back then.

Since the inventory is old school, meaning everything is on the same menu and there's no sorting, do try to keep a certain order so it's not hell when you are searching for a specific item.

You might notice you can't compare the stats of a piece of equipment to what you are wearing, but in the stores, there is an option that lets you trade what you are wearing for the piece of equipment you want to check, and in here it does tell you how much your stats would increase or decrease.

The item mrble3, this is your best buddy for when you don't want to go through 20 minutes of random encounters just to get a chest you forgot or couldn't get before, they are very cheap so grab a handful whenever you are low on it.

And finally, the character abilities, there's a little hint that they exist near the beginning of the game but you are never told exactly what each character can do, so I'm gonna list all of them, because I lost a lot of time trying to figure some solutions out, and I couldn't because I didn't know a character had that ability, so spoiler warning I guess.

The main character can fish on wells in the overworld or on certain bridges, there are also some specific places where he can fish inside a town.

Near the end of the game, Nina can transform into a big bird, making her your airship basically.

Bo can walk through trees in the overworld, and also hunt the random animals that appear sometimes after an encounter with his bow.

Karn can open locked doors and disable any traps a chest might have.

Gobi can transform into a big fish after you get a certain item, making him your submarine.

Ox can destroy breakable walls, but he can also punch specific trees in the overworld, and there are 2 instances where that's needed to progress in the game, just as a heads up.

Mogu can dig on specific spots in the overworld and some dungeons.

And finally, Karn can transform, but only if you find hidden wise men and talk to them with Karn, that will teach him these transformation spells, and the last one you learn has the ability to scream, this scream can open specific doors in the overworld.

And that's pretty much it, I can't give more tips without linking a guide.

You know, I wish this game was more than it was, the world is pretty interesting, so an actual story with actual characters in that world could have a lot of potential, but maybe I'll get that wish with the sequels, I can't say I am not excited to play them.

I really like when a flawed game gets a sequel, because there's a high chance some of it flaws will get removed and it could be what it was always meant to be, or you know, at least a bit better.

If I had the chance to play this game again... I would definitely pass on it, there's just so many games I like way more, and many others I have still yet to play, but I can't say it was a waste of time either.

I have the firm belief that if a game was underwhelming to me, there's at least something to be learned from the experience, and as someone who wants to make videogames someday, specifically RPGs, this knowledge is very valuable to me.

Also, as a first attempt, it isn't as bad as it could have been, still, unless you either crave for that kind of experience, want to play the whole series, or also appreciate what you can learn from it, I wouldn't recommend it if you are looking for a really good game.

[otacringe]

btw don't get it twisted i think adachi is a piece of shit. i just also find him funny. the mere concept of "guy who is evil because he didn't get to fuck his middle aged boss" is so funny to me like dude you could've asked he would've said yes. gay because he hates women.

[wjbs-bonkle-au]

And the correct answer is "A conman gets corrupted by a Bionicle vampire and gains shadow powers", which was a scrapped story-element that is referenced in canon, but doesn't actually end up happening; towards the end of the story, Makuta Icarax - a vampire-themed mad scientist who can steal peoples' light and turn them evil - wants to corrupt Ahkmou, who is already a dodgy (and technically evil) character who does some bad stuff early-on. However, Icarax gets distracted by the chance to attack his species' main rival, Takanuva (who has light-themed powers), and forgets about Ahkmou.

Context for all the others below.

"One of the antagonists in the 2007 arc punched his homeland so hard it broke."

Nocturn was exiled to an underwater supermax prison called The Pit after punching a weak part of the island he came from, causing it to be destroyed.

One faction is comically OP because of a real-world OC-canonisation contest.

The Dark Hunters are an... interesting faction, and in 2005 the official Lego magazine ran a contest for people to submit their own concepts for who some of their members are. The results included a guy who can stretch and squish and wants to Starscream his boss, an army of electric dragons, and a mage who has telekinesis, can steal his opponents' powers, and shatter stuff with his staff.

Power-loaders are made of dead shapeshifted people.

Ok so basically one of the main antagonistic forces early-on are the Bohrok, which are giant spherical roomba-monsters powered by funky bugs; at a certain point in their life, Light-element Matoran turn into Bohrok. Nuparu, who I will get back to later, built an army of mini-mecha called Boxors by dismantling deactivated Bohrok and putting them back together in a different shape.

The guy who built the power-loaders also invented cops and blimps.

Millenia before the Boxor incident, Nuparu was an engineer in the city of Metru Nui (which is basically like if the Jetsons got a gritty mid-2000s reboot). He created four types of robotic law-enforcement (the unstable Kralhi, the persistent Vahki and the elite Kranua and Kraahu) and also helped create the city's omnipresent airships.

One of the main antagonists of the 2009 arc is canonically middle-aged.

According to a QnA with Greg Farshtey, the Skrall king Tuma is meant to be in his species' equivalent of his mid-40s.

An ancient badass hollowed out a giant aquatic worm and turned it into a train.

One of the main supporting characters in the 2006 story-arc is Axonn, an ancient axe-wielding warrior. At some point in the past, he captured a giant worm-like sea-creature, cyborgified it (to a greater extent than it already was), turned it into a giant train-adjacent mobile base, and chained it to a giant rock-pillar. The Toa Mahri use it in the 2007 arc in order to explore the ocean surrounding The Pit.

One guy's team failed so hard that their name is a slang term for desolation.

The Toa Cordak were a team of ancient warriors who were killed super-hard by creatures called Zyglak; their last surviving member, Lesovikk, goes full Speedball and becomes an edgelord who kills people despite what the Toa Code (yes that's a thing) says. "Cordak" goes on to become an in-universe slang term for desolation, and there's also a type of rapid-fire rocket-launcher named after them that the Toa Mahri (and various Pit denizens) use in the 2007 arc.

God's sheriff dies and immediately gets replaced by an identical guy.

There's this dude called Botar who was recruited by the Order Of Mata Nui, which is basically a more benevolent illuminati that serve the setting's sleeping god, Mata Nui (who is also the universe; don't ask). Botar's job is to take criminals to The Pit by grabbing them and teleporting there. In one of the 2008 web-serials, Icarax (remember him?) kills Botar with magnetism; Botar is then replaced by an unnamed member of his species, who has basically the exact same powers.

If you vote, reblog? Maybe?

[tumblunni]

Huh, I didnt know that the digimon TCG game had a whole new higher quality 3D model of the Digimon World protagonist!

also LOL why even mention character options if there arent any?

I’m checking out this cool lets play here cos this game never came out in my country and apparantly its technically a sequel to the plot of Digimon World?

[fantalaciruela]

OC'S PART TWO: DRM

Pronouns: He / Him

Pronunciation: whatever you want, you can call him D though ;)

He was born back when the world was young, his parents, rulers of magicians, were one of the firsts guardians that appeared in the world. His story starts when the prince of wizards killed his father causing a war between magicians and wizards. When this happened, he inherited the powers of his parents and became the guardian of fires and destiny (gotta explain the whole guardian thing later). During the war, he run away and remained hidden between wyverns which later became dragons because of the influence of his magic. Later he'd get lost in the realm between the living and the dead, there he'd meet Faeg and her gang, lived adventurers and faced evil spirits that wanted to cross to the living realm. Once he came back from death (or un death?) he was involved in the Sarian war where he trained his magic, martial arts and usage of weapons. Is in this time he faced a demon who he defeated, this made him the guardian of fear.

I have something to clarify, magicians (and wizards) do not age unless they are in a safe environment, so this poor guy stayed a kid all this time until he did his first time travel (golden age of piracy in universe time) and met a sailor that would adopt him. About how they met, Drm appeared in the middle of the ocean during a big storm, in the distance, he saw a shipwreck and helped the only survivor he could find. The two ended up in an island where they fought in a tournament for the Gods of the inhabitants of the island, there they both lived some adventures but, eventually, they went back to the sailor's country: Esria. There Drm lived and aged for the first time in a while, reaching the age of 17-18. He sailed with his new father figure and his other two sons who Drm considered brothers. Eventually, this sailor died in mysterious circumstances, leading his sons to piracy. EVENTUALLY AGAIN sorry, but this is a summary of the character with the longest back story he time traveled (victorian era in universe time) and met a brenian gentleman who hired him as a demon fighter, here he meets J for the first time, both fought for the same guy under the name of "the brotherhood". Drm fells in love with his boss's daughter, they both dated for some years and had plans for a future together... Until some witches murdered the lass. This turned him into a depressed murdered lookin for revenge and so he did, but still felt empty, he has never aged again since then (that's why he looks like someone on his early 20s). Once he got his revenge (and committed other crimes due to anger) he got hired for a travel to the north to look for the mysterious fog that keeps continents apart from each other, between his companions were a childhood friend of his, J and the prince of wizards. SUMMARIZING THIS TALE, the dude that hired them somehow destroyed the fog (not completely, but enough for people to sail safely from a continent to another. He then time travel again (middle ages in universe time) to heal himself between kelt druids, he practiced magic and found some peace of mind. Then he time traveled again (our time in universe era) and the main story takes place... Uff, I'm missing a LOT of stuff here, but it's just too much information, you can ask me for more lore of the guy anytime :D

His personality is a chill dude, sometimes grumpy, but overall a supportive friend, socially awkward but a lovely guy.

Gallery

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 16 part one

(Masterpost of All the Recaps)  (Canary’s Pinboard)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes

All righty, this one is going to be a laff riot...not. Let's do it.

The first half of this episode is like a beautifully executed standalone tragedy, while also threading together all sorts of themes and paying off all sorts of relationship building that's happened in the previous episodes. My hat is off to the writers, while I also shake a fist at them for making me cry an unreasonable amount.

We’re Sailing on a Strange Boat

The episode starts right off absolutely DESTROYING me with the Yunmeng brothers holding hands, fingers interlaced, in the first of many hand-touching moments that punctuate the episode.

Jiang Cheng has to be pretty far gone to accept this degree of comfort and tenderness. I think, from their positions, he is also holding Yanli's hand out of the camera's view. 

Zidian finally lets the trio go, and they immediately turn the boat around and head back to Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian gets the clever idea to turn the benches into makeshift oars but nobody gets the clever idea to use magic to push the boat like they do literally every other time they are in a boat. 

Their emotional need to go back to Lotus Pier is understandable, but they are being disobedient and irresponsible by doing it. Jiang Cheng is the future of the clan, and should not risk his life, particularly after his mother chose to sacrifice herself to protect him and after both of his parents told him to go hide with his sister and personal bodyguard brother. 

On the other hand, Jiang Fengmian, as clan leader, probably had a duty to go into hiding himself rather than go home to die romantically, so his authority is questionable at this point. Anyway, this is the Jiang Clan, they get to kind of do what they want, except when that pisses Jiang Cheng off.

Lotus Pier Massacre

Back at Lotus Pier, the Wens are kicking Jiang ass. The fight choreography is pretty good, taking full advantage of walkways, railings, pools, and other features of the environment. 

Using the set this way always makes fights feel more kinetic and real, as opposed to simply sparring in an open area. 

(more after the cut)

Yu Ziyuan is fighting adequately with a sword, having given her preferred weapon to her son.  She's clearly been at it for a while, and is tiring; the Wen soldiers are starting to land more and more sword blows but no critical hits yet.

Wen Zhuliu is kicking ass and possibly melting cores, although we don't see him do it to anybody yet. Later we'll hear from Jiang Cheng that he crushed the cores of his parents, but it's not clear when that happens.

Sixth young master replays Jiang Fengmian's entire archery lesson in his head while he waits, and waits, for Wen Zhuliu to finish strangling a dude the right moment to shoot an arrow at Wen Zhuliu. 

Homicidal tart Wang Lingjiao notices him lining up a shot, strolls over, and stabs him in the back while he's still thinking about what Jiang Fengmian said. One could wish that JFM's archery lessons weren't quite so wordy. 

Wang Linjao normally doesn't carry a sword because of her low spiritual power, but apparently can use one just fine when she's killing kids.

If you start feeling like this episode is unreasonably painful, just think of it as building up calluses so you can handle Yi City when the time comes.

Jiang Fengmian to the Rescue

Jiang Fengmian shows up very far past the nick of time, although he is not actually useful, so it's questionable whether arriving earlier would have helped. But his wife is glad to see him.

Netflix subtitles say that Jiang Fengmian calls Yu Ziyuan "My Lady!" which sounds courtly and romantic in English. His actual words are "San Niangzi" which hunxi-gullai breaks out here.  I might render this as "lady wife!" rather than "my lady" but I don't think English really has a perfect equivalent.

Jiang Fengmian sails across the courtyard, knocking down a few Wen soldiers and becoming a young, slender man in the process.

I mean, come on, that stunt double does not look like a boxy middle-aged man from any angle.

The Dying Bit

The episode splits up the big death scene for dramatic effect but I'm recapping it all together to keep things simple.

Within moments of arriving, Jiang Fengmian gets shanked by Wen Zhuliu like Scatman Crothers in The Shining (or Groundskeeper Willie in The Shinning).

Wen Zhuliu stops a Wen soldier from finishing JFM off, just so that a different Wen soldier can deliver the killing blow from the back, which is kinda harsh. With all this spin-fighting there is probably not an implication of cowardice when someone dies from a stab in the back, but still. Too rude, Wen Zhuliu.

Yu Ziyuan sees Jiang Fengmian fall, and after having a moment of sorrow and despair, she stabs herself in the heart, falls down, crawls to him and interlaces her hand with his. He revives just enough to give her hand a squeeze and say "San Niangzi" one last time before dying. 

She dies next, with a smile on her face at the end. The soundtrack plays that amazing "horribly emotional death scene" music that isn't one of the tracks available on the OST, argh. This same music appears at the end of Xue Yang's story.  

Of the many things I love about the Untamed, the complexity of all the minor characters is possibly my favorite. These two people suck at parenting, and suck at being married, and ultimately suck at protecting and leading their clan, making stupid, selfish choices at every step of the building conflict. 

And then they have this incredibly romantic death scene, in which they both face the inevitability of failure, and find comfort in failing together. Yet their death scene is totally in keeping with who we know them to be, and who they are to each other; the drama doesn't cheat by making them ideal lovers or great people at the end. But they have a great, great moment.

Jiang Yanli, waiting in the woods while her brothers are presumably running toward Lotus Pier, drops her lotus pendant, which is made of the loudest jade ever discovered, and it breaks with a crash.  

Yanli, who is a well educated young lady, knows a moment of doomy symbolism when she sees it.

Jiang Yanli: Who put a giant rock out here in the woods? What are the odds I’d drop my pendant directly on it? 

It’s all Over Except for the Crying, Running and Choking

The brothers climb up on the roof and are shocked to see nothing but Wen soldiers and piled up Jiang corpses... 

...including one child who is either about to become a zombie or who is being played by a young actor who can't control their curiosity, judging by the way this eye is sneakily opened while the camera is running.

There's a moment where Jiang Cheng is saying they must have spared his parents, they must be okay, where Wei Wuxian's face is just...wow. You can see right here the gulf in life experience between these two. 

Wen Zhuliu roams around looking troubled while searching for more people to kill. He’s an interesting villain; someone who believes his loyalty to his boss makes him a good guy, but knows his boss is a bad guy. 

Then we are treated to a hell of a camera move, where it tracks over Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian together on the floor, heroic in death and still holding hands, and then sweeps up to show their killers sitting on the lotus throne. 

The dead couple were at odds for their whole lives together, while the evil people who killed them are acting like devoted lovebirds. It's a stunning shot and a terrific thematic contrast. When Wei Wuxian eventually comes to take his vengeance, he will spend some time turning Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao against each other, before ending them. 

The camera shows us JC's reaction, then shows his mother, then WWX’s reaction, then JF; each reacting to the death of the person who loved them. Some folks may feel that Jiang Fengmian actually did love Jiang Cheng but was just bad at showing it. But Jiang Cheng doesn't think so, and I don't think it's a given that parents love their children.

Side note: Macroexpression king Wang Zhuocheng is able to open his eyes so far that a giant strip of white shows above his irises, and keep them like that, which is quite a trick. Try it yourself.

Meanwhile Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao gossip about YZY and JFM's bad marriage. Wen Chao admires YZY's beauty, and Wang Lingjiao insults her character, and announces that she's going to stab YZY's body a few extra times. Jiang Cheng briefly faints at this, taking a page from Wei Wuxian's book, and rolls off the roof. 

Run Run Away

Both young men run, and run, and run away from Lotus Pier while Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao mistreat the bodies of Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan 

The stabbing happens off camera, because it's ok to stab a live child on camera, but not a dead adult. (As always, there are cultural reasons for "what's ok" in any country, and I'm not saying anybody's wrong about these choices). 

Wen Chao follows this up with pouring a cup of wine across their faces. He does this in the style of a libation for the dead, but as a desecration, combining mistreatment of bodies with profaning a ceremonial rite. In a world where ghosts are real and have sharp fingernails, this is deeply, deeply stupid.

Yu Ziyuan’s actress Zhang Jingtong is able to have liquid poured INTO HER EAR without flinching. Mad props.

The brothers eventually finish running and arrive in a field with an extreme purple photo filter on it. Which I've done my best to remove for these gifs, with variable results. 

Jiang Cheng wants to turn around and go back to Lotus Pier. He says he wants to retrieve his parents’ bodies and to take revenge, but he's devastated and it seems likely he just wants to die with everyone else.  

Wei Wuxian pleads with Jiang Cheng to calm down and stay safe, while Jiang Cheng gives himself over to anger and shock as the brothers shout at each other.

Punching and running ensues, and Wei Wuxian tries to hold his brother back, grabbing him around the shoulders him in a gesture that painfully echoes the many hugs he's given over the years. 

This time Jiang Cheng doesn't just push him off. He turns around and chokes his brother for nearly a full minute, while screaming at him and blaming him. 

Just as when Madame Yu beat him, Wei Wuxian doesn't fight back; he pulls on Jiang Cheng's wrists but doesn't hit him or try to break his hold.

Finally Jiang Cheng lets him go, and cries out for everyone he's lost, while Wei Wuxian weeps silently next to him. Eventually they fall asleep in the grass together, their bodies curled up in the form of a heart. 

Damn, this episode really brings it.

Side Note: during their argument, Wei Wuxian says, among other things, that "revenge is a dish best served cold," according to subtitles. It's a French saying from the 1800s so it's probably not precisely what Wei Wuxian is saying. More importantly, as a longtime Star Trek fan I can't help but hear James Kirk yelling "KHAN!!!!!" whenever I encounter that phrase.

There’s Got To Be A Morning After

When they wake up in the morning, Jiang Cheng is still in his feelings, but now his feelings have moved along to despair, from anger.

I feel bad for noticing how handsome they both look in this scene. Let's all feel bad about this together.

Jiang Cheng is free to have this level of emotional breakdown because Wei Wuxian is there keeping his own shit together and focusing on what matters.

When Jiang Cheng refuses to get up, Wei Wuxian reminds him, very, very gently, that they have a sister, who has waited all night to know what happened.

At this, Jiang Cheng gets up, but won't look at Wei Wuxian, continuing to blame him for everybody else's actions, as he walks onward to find Yanli.

Wei Wuxian follows, hurt and bereft, as he gets to work internalizing everything that he's being accused of. This is good practice for his future as a widely reviled bogeyman.

Part two will be slightly less awful! Coming soon!

[sluttbuttsstuff]

LA SQUADRA BACKSTORY HEADCANONS PART 2

Here’s everyone else’s backstory,  part one with Melone and Ghiacchio is here

 https://sluttbuttsstuff.tumblr.com/post/652486890343268352/la-squadra-backstory-headcanons-part-1-ghiacchio

WARNINGS: dark themes, SFW

None of this is Canon of course, just speculation

PROSCUITTO AND PESCI:

I’m combining theirs because they’re so intertwined.

Prosciutto is a few years older than pesci, and they grew up in the same neighborhood.

By the time Prosciutto was in high school, Pesci was in 2-3rd grade, basically

Prosciutto was the younger of two children from an old school mafia family. 

Pesci was the only child of a teen mom, and mostly raised by his grandmother.

To be honest, Prosciutto was kind of annoyed by Pesci when he first met him.  He was a weird looking kid who was annoyingly clingy and kind of a crybaby

Pesci wasn't well liked by the other kids his age, and when they did hang or they usually either teased to poor kid or used him

Prosciutto was liked well enough by his peers, but he spent most of his time with people older than him- his father’s “associates” and new mafioso initiates.

There was one that Prosciutto became particularly close to- his uncle.

He was younger than most of the other mafiosos, and a lot less uptight than Prosciutto’s father.  

He made Prosciutto feel like he was already apart of the gang, trusting him with family secrets, teaching him how to shoot and care for a gun, even bought Prosciutto his first pack of cigarettes

Prosciutto’s uncle made him feel like he was the capable adult and badass gangster he so desperately wanted to be.

Prosciutto’s father, of course, loved his Brother and wanted him to have a good relationship with Prosciutto, but he didn’t approve of his son’s involvement in the family business, at least not so young.

In truth, turns out Prosciutto’s uncle was a scumbag with a lot of gambling debts, and ended up getting himself into a lot of trouble

He was always bad at money, and thought he could get some from his brother, but he refused

Angry, Prosciutto’s uncle killed his brother, Prosciutto’s father, hoping to get some inheritance or at least steal some off of him

Prosciutto happened to hear and see everything, and in a rage, killed his uncle and mentor

Angry and betrayed, Prosciutto decided not to join his family’s gang, but to make a name and life for himself, and ended up settling with passione.

He had a difficult time, struggling to survive and make a name for himself, especially when he first got his stand.

Initially, he thought it was a useless stand; he didn’t see any potential in a stand that just makes someone get older

But then he realized he could disguise himself, age others into dust, and was promoted to hitman

Prosciutto learned a lot from his experience, and realized something very important

He and Pesci, the small boy who lived in his neighborhood, were one and the same

Used by their peers, potential ignored, betrayed by their family- the next time he saw Pesci playing by himself on the street Prosciutto treated him VERY differently

Pesci was surprised but nonetheless happy; his grandmother was nice to him, and his mother worked hard to support him, but he didn’t really have anyone to teach him how to be a man.

Prosciutto didn’t encourage Pesci to become a mafioso, but he never discouraged him either.  He let Pesci decide for himself

Prosciutto tried to be a mentor that was the perfect mix of his father and uncle-strict with high expectations, but also caring and gentle when necessary

Pesci was able to stand up to his bullies thanks to Prosciutto, and Pesci idolized him for helping him so much

So naturally he wanted to be just like his mentor Prosciutto, hence joining Passione

In truth, Pesci is naturally gentle and kind, but at the same time, he knows there are lots of people being bullied and hurt like he was as a child

Its Pesci’s dream to not only live up to Prosciutto’s expectations, but to make sure he’s never weak and taken advantage of again like he was as a child

And also? He's never told anyone, but he secretly dreams of being able to protect and mentor others like Prosciutto did for him

It’s true that he can be cowardly and has issues with self-esteem, but he wants to make prosciutto proud, and I think he could have become a very capable, firm but fair mafioso like he wanted to

ILLUSIO:

Illusio is the oldest of two children from an average middle class Italian family.  

From a young age, Illusio was very aware that both of his parents preferred his younger brother.  

He was smarter, prettier, stronger, more charming etc and His parents didn’t bother hiding their preference

Illusio would work hard to earn their approval, helping around the house with chores and trying his best to do things that would make them happy, but his brother did it better

It aggravated Illusio to no end

To make things worse, his brother noticed the preference as well, and instead of sympathizing with illusio, or even just ignoring his effect, he was very cruel to Illusio

He would complain to his parents that Illusio’s room was bigger, and he would get illusio’s old room.  

Illusio had a girlfriend?  His brother would steal her away, just to spite Illusio.

Obviously, this gave Illusio a GIANT inferiority complex, and he grew to hate his brother more and more everyday

Finally, one day Illusio snapped, it was something insignificant, to this day Illusio can’t remember what it was that set him off

But he ended up strangling his brother to death.  

It wasn’t planned, but he didn’t regret it.  He quickly packed up what few things he had and ran away from home

Illusio hasn’t made any contact with his family, and they haven’t made any with him to this day.  It’s probably better this way

He joined Passione soon after for protection against the law, and manifested Man in the Mirror

Man in the Mirror was obviously influenced with his fears of inadequacy, as well as manifesting a safe space from him from others

He would isolate himself when he was having issues with his family as a child, and that manifested into the mirror world when he received his stand

He’s become obsessed with himself and his self-appearance to overcompensate for his lack of support and care as a child, which is why it’s mirrors

Because he was so often gaslit as a child, he is able to physically control who comes or goes into his “World” as  a means of protection and self preservation

FORMAGGIO:

 Formaggio’s mom was a single parent, trying her best to raise him

She kept trying to find a husband, but she had a bad habit of picking awful dudes

Best case, Formaggio got ignored, worst case, he got hit a few times by his mom’s partner

Eventually, Formaggio’s mom landed a man who was willing to marry her and adopt Formaggio

He was nice enough to his mother, but he really wasn't interested in raising Formaggio at all

It didn’t help Formaggio was a hyperactive annoying child- he couldn’t help it, he was left to raise himself

Formaggio’s stepfather was fairly wealthy, and did regularly spoil him and his mom with presents and money

But he still mistreated  Formaggio- purposefully ignoring him, beating him if he acted up

He and Formaggio fought a lot, and unfortunately Fomaggio’s mom sided with her new husband

She still worked most of the day, and had lost several boyfriends due to Formaggio’s behavior, so she thought that was the case here

Even if she wanted to, she literally couldn’t afford divorce- she needed his money

So Formaggio’s relationship with his stepfather got worse and worse

It wasn’t until Formaggio was a teenager, however, that Formaggio found a solution

He hung around a lot of bad kids,and got involved with Passione.

He found out that his stepfather had pissed off some higher ups in Passione 

He ended up killing his stepfather to gain the favor of the gang, and that was how he got into la squadra

Also, He ended up leaving home, and never actually finished high school

Little Feet is a way for Formaggio to feel the control that he never had as a child, and to put his enemies into the same position he was in for years with his mother and stepfather

Like his mother and father, he still has to deal with monetary issues- he has problems saving money and wants to live it up while he has it.

Just another reason he was so eager to kill the boss and take over Passione

RISOTTO: 

Risotto was the only child of his two parents, who died tragically in a car crash.  Despite just being a baby, he was able to survive with minor injury, but his stand was awakened as a result

He was adopted by His Mother’s sister, and lived with his Aunt uncle and their own child.  

Their family was HEAVILY religious, Roman Catholic of course, and very strict with Risotto and his cousin

His cousin, a few years older than Risotto, was the only one openly warm with him

His Aunt and Uncle were cold and distant, and it wasn’t helped by the fact that Risotto seemed to be “Cursed”

Accidents, though relatively small, followed Risotto like the plague 

Kids who teased Risotto’s bizarre eyes would end up stepping on a nail at the playground

People who yelled at Risotto and his cousin on the street would get unexplained nosebleeds

Risotto’s aunt was starting to believe he was possessed by a demon, or being punished for some unknown sin

They started disciplining him whenever anything bizarre happened, and taking him to church 

They even tried having an exorcist perform on him, but it continued

Risotto’s cousin didn’t believe it though, he knew Risotto wasn’t evil and wouldn’t hurt anyone

Without him, Risotto didn’t have a friend in the world

His eyes were odd, he prematurely greyed, and he grew very tall and large from a young age.  

So he got a lot of weird looks, followed by random accidents and bloody injuries which got worse and worse

It started to become too much for Risotto, and his cousin realized this

He knew he and Risotto had to get away from his parents, so he got a driver’s license, saved up money, and made a plan with Risotto to escape 

On the day they planned to leave, their Parents caught them, and got into a big fight

There was lots of yelling, even some violence, but Risotto and his cousin managed to escape

As they were leaving, Risotto’s aunt called out that they were disowned, and that Risotto was an evil monster

In the car, Risotto’s cousin tried to comfort him, who was visibly upset, but he just couldn’t stay calm.

As if possessed, His cousins arms moved the steering wheel, screaming in pain

Nails and Razor blades were poking out of his skin, and he lost control of the car

They ended up crashing the car, and Risotto’s cousin was dying

Risotto’s cousin looked at Risotto like he never had before: Afraid.

He called him a monster, that he must have really hurt all those other people, and now he had killed him

His cousin died in Risotto’s arms, and Risotto lost everything

He destroyed the car he and his cousin had been in, and everyone assumed he had died in the wreckage

Eventually, his talents were noticed by Passione, and he worked his way up to head Capo of La Squadra Execuzione

Risotto never fully recovered from losing his cousin, and became obsessed with controlling his powers and emotions

As a result, he became a cold and ruthless leader his men respected

However, he can’t help caring for his squad, they’re all he has left at this point

His job, his teammates, they’re all his life consists of at this point.

Why is his stand like that?  Who knows, he was just a child when he manifested it

It wasn’t his choice to have this power, but he’ll make the best of it, for his team’s sake

SORBET AND GELATO: 

Sorbet grew up in a poor family, and spent most of his time on the streets trying to earn a living.  He dropped out of school early to join the workforce as soon as possible, and joined the military to leave his family.

He doesn’t hate his family or anything, they tried their best, but there’s just too many painful memories of starving and helplessness.

He met Gelato in the Military, he came from a long family line of soldiers

Gelato learned from an early age how to fight and defend himself, and had to deal with a lot of toxic masculinity and violent older siblings

Sorbet and Gelato ended up bonding, just friends at first but after a time they figured out their feelings

Tired of Military BS, they decided to desert, and ended up joining Passione

They don’t do a job without the other, and either share a room or their own apartment

They’ve dealt with a lot of discrimination because of their sexuality, but Passione doesn’t judge them for it, even if they don’t pay as much as they should

Besides, killing is their specialty, what else would they do?

[theliterarywolf]

Can someone at Disney explain to me why, out of ALL the villains that you could recontextualize into sympathetic anti-heros, you picked the puppy murderer who wanted to skin adorable innocent animals into coats? Like say what you want about Maleficent and how it's ruined Disney and Hollywood as a whole, at least she didn't perform animal cruelty!

Silly Taka, no one at modern Disney can think more than two moves ahead. They needed a girl-boss anti-villain! Could they have created a new one and had their first new merchandise mascot in almost a decade? -- when I say 'Merchandise Mascot', I'm referencing characters that are plastered onto so much merchandise that a good percentage of the population hasn't even seen the original films they come from, i.e.: Jack Skellington, Tinkerbell, Stitch -- Yes, but that's haaaaard~

Anon said: To be fair they could pull a maleficent and have this be an alternate timeline where she doesn't become a villain and skin puppies for a coat and they just chose cruella for the aesthetics. Or maybe they'll have the cruella personality somehow split off and whatever her actual name will have to fight her to keep the dogs safe god that dropped my iq typing that

People keep telling me that that's close to what they did... Which leads further into my frustrations of 'Disney, do something original for fuck's sake *looks at Raya* Not like that'

Anon said: Not only do the dalamations actually kill Cruella's mom, they did it in the stupidest way possible. Do they bite or maul her to death? No, one of them jumps on her and pushes her off a cliff and into the ocean.

Well, I mean, everyone knows that an average of 3 British middle-aged women are killed by level 20 Dalmatians using Tackle every year. It's common knowledge, anon, gosh.

Anon said: Just to play De Vil's advocate, her Stepmoms death isn't actually used to justify her puppy hatred, in fact it's not even really connected to why she wants a dalmatian coat, she's shown to like them towards the end of the movie, though with the implication she still wants to skin their babies for fashion. Imo the movie was pretty fun and she's still very much a villain protag where that scene is really only meant to further her grudge with the Baroness. The scene is still stupid though.

Okay, even if I tried to look at this through a similar perspective of someone like Wolf from Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts where a character is actively wearing the pelt of something that tried to kill her as a symbol of 'Fuck around and find out', it still feels like they handled it in a clumsy way here. Especially with 'Oh, I feel no grudge towards your kind... But I am still going to commit a crime against your species in the future, so keep an eye out~'

More and my responses beneath the break

Anon said: Actually if I had to say a few things about Cruella it's that it actually never delves into why she's so obsessed with furs. Fashion yes, but not furs specifically. General consensus I've heard though is that the movie could've been a really good standalone unconnected to any prior ips.

THAT'S ALL I WANT! FOR DISNEY TO JUST MAKE NEW IPs! I wouldn't care so much if we were following a murderous girl-boss anti-villain as long as we're not trying to woobify a pre-existing character who is already evil for evil's sake!

Anon said: Hey, since we're all collectively ragging on Cruella, thought I'd share something I stumbled on during a 2am YouTube crawl. Some dude on YouTube made a fake trailer for a theoretical Live Action Origin Movie about the dude that shot Bambi's mom

... As bad as this is for me to say, I wouldn't actually be opposed to watching a film following a guy who has essentially lost everything (job, family, house, etc.) and is living as a hermit in the forest. One day he happens upon a clearing full of animals and he needs to stock his rations for the upcoming winter and he manages to snag a doe.

Of course, as he's retrieving his kill, he sees the poor, now-orphan fawn looking at him in fear and horror before it bounds away into the woods. The rest of the movie is about the hunter trying to survive, thinking about his (mankind's) place in nature and just how much he should be taking and hurting to justify his own existence. The climax of the movie could be the fire but now written as a forest-clearing event that takes out the hunter's shelter and meager possessions. As he's trying to see what little can be saved, he hears a crack. Immediately grabbing for his gun, he takes aim and sees a buck. However... As both man and animal stare each other down, the hunter recognizes the buck as the same scared fawn from all those years ago.

And, thus... He lets him go. Bambi turns away and guides his family away from the burnt remains of the woods, and the hunter finally decides to go back to the city to try and rebuild a life without encroaching on the natural world.

Or something like that.

Anon said: You know who's actually a well written, sympathetic, female Disney villain, Demona from Gargoyles. An animated series from the 80s did a better job at giving a reason for being a villain than "wah, my mom got killed by Dalmatians but I'll still adopt them and use faux fur." I might even say Eclipsa from Star vs was a better "villain" than 2021 Cruella. I put " " because Eclipsa didn't really feel like a villain, more of a morally grey character IMO.

Sad to say, I doubt Disney will ever give us something in the same vein as Gargoyles anytime soon.

God... *holds back a scream* Season 4 of Star vs. would have been so much better if we just focused on Eclipsa and the other Queens of Mewni! Why couldn't Seasn 4 of Star vs. focused on Eclipsa and the other Queens of Mewni!!

Anon said: I feel like you probably could do a decent Cruella movie. A young woman starts her career in fashion at the bottom with earnest intentions to make an honest living. Heck she could be against fur in the beginning, but finds that she has to compromise more and more on her ethics until her rise to the top were she has lost all of her morality and no longer recognizes the person in the mirror. At that point, she's too far gone, and in the pursuit of even higher fashion heights, is willing to make a coat from puppies.

Anon, are you in my head? Because that's close to how I rewrote the premise of a movie like this when the trailer first dropped.

[m4gp13]

For those of you who made it through my laughably incoherent ethabaster think piece, here’s some hc’s, you’ve earned them:

- Ethan has sole possession of their one shared brain cell. Alabaster is not allowed to even look at it. This is because they used to have two but Al broke the good one trying to blow up something (probably Percy).

- If Al finds out Ethan left without some form of magical protection i.e. a sigil, a crystal, ground eggshells, he will be pretty much vibrating with nerves until Ethan gets back so he can give him a once-over.

- Alabaster’s from a very witchy family who all worship Hecate for many reasons that differ depending on which estranged relative you ask and they all kinda saw Al as the first coming of witch Christ so he had a lot of expectations at a very young age.

- Ethan knows this and tries to lift as much Titan army business off his shoulders as possible.

- He accidentally lifts too much off to the point where he is drowning in work and is now the one in need of saving. But does he tell anyone that if he looks at one more stack of demands from his mile long list of bosses he’s going to cry for five hours? Of course not don’t be ridiculous.

- Alabaster immediately hated Percy as soon as he heard the guys name but due to the arena stuff and telling Thalia not to k*ll him Ethan actually held a bit of respect for Percy which annoyed Al to no end.

-This was until the not-so-peaceful peace talk in tlo when Percy starts shit talking Nemesis and Ethan just internally goes “actually the witch bitch was right this guy sucks ass”

-However, under no circumstances will Ethan ever tell this to Alabaster; not because he values his pride (he has none) but because he knows the life of a demigod is short and he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his very short one hearing Al rub that one thing in his face for every single second of it.

- And I mean Every. Single. Second.

- So yeah he takes that to the grave and doesn’t even tell anyone in the underworld in case they tell Al when he dies and he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his afterlife with Al being a dumbass. (also yes Ethan got into Elysium, fuck you)

- (Actually I have another idea about where Ethan went post-life but that’s so far from canon it’s more of an AU than a headcanon so we’re gonna leave that out for now)

- Al thought he was the one in charge of the Hecate kids because he was the most powerful and the highest ranking in the army but he was Not. That was Ethan. The Hecate kids thought Ethan was their unofficial adopted baby brother but little did they know he was the mum the whole time.

- Ethan is the only thing standing between them and starving to death. He also does the younger kids hair and gives everyone with long hair super intricate braids that stay out of their faces during “field work”. Al thinks this is more of him trying to take the weight off his shoulders but Ethan knows that if he doesn’t do this shit no one will so he kinda has to. Not that he doesn’t like doing it. being helpful is his love language.

 - Because of their powers over the mist the Hecate kids of the army were notorious pranksters who were usually at war with the Hermes kids (wars usually declared by Al because he rolled a zero on self restraint) but none of them prank Ethan because “nooooo you can’t do him he babey 🥺”

- Ethan has simply decided that what the magic prank wizards don’t know can’t hurt them and just turns to his blind side whenever he sees them sneaking off the ship to get Micky D’s in the middle of the night to stay on their good sides.

- Speaking of the ship, Ethan thinks it’s the dumbest thing in the world that one of their most powerful demigod enemies is the son of a sea god and he actually has a pretty decent relationship with said sea god and their main base of operations aside from mt Othrys is a fucking BOAT. He tells Al all about his worries for the ship and while Al assures him that nothing that bad could happen he always makes sure that the ship always has the least amount of demigods on board at all times just in case.

- It takes all the strength Ethan has not to yell “TOLD YOU SO” at him when the ship blows up.

- Al probably either wears basic white boy clothes or typical witchy stuff (like moons and shit) depending his mood meanwhile Ethan found out about leather and just goes for it.  

- Every grunge/punk/emo/eboy/teachwear bitch aspires to be him and because he aint about all that “gender roles” bs he definitely goes about wearing cool egirl stuff too. Not just slightly feminine shaped jumpers but all the plaid skirts, fishnets and lace trimmed dresses he can steal afford and Al, despite his more basic fashion taste is here for it. You’ve never seen someone more supportive of their pals fits, get you a hypeman like Al. You deserve it. (Ethan is also not afraid to walk around in a full pastel gamer girl fit)

- (Also Al hyping up one Ethans fits in front of a Titan is the reason they were allowed to start wearing army fatigues instead of the whole ancient Greek armour on occasion)

- Ethan appreciates Al’s enthusiasm but he also kinda doesn’t get it. And he definitely doesn't do that “yeah you’re right I DO look good” thing because he just doesn’t know how. He’d always been a little self-conscious about getting a big head but then he found out about Nemesis and hubris and all that fun stuff, looked at his meager pile of self worth and said “ yep, this has to go”

- Al almost starts crying when he finds out and pretty much makes it mission to be such a good hype man that Ethan has no choice but to think of himself as a Pretty Cool Dude via absorbing the hype through diffusion. It kinda starts working but then Ethan [REDACTED] in tlo so we’ll never know what could’ve been.

- To nick a hc from someone ( hi @chromarozee-spam) contrary to his taste in clothes Ethan does ballet (he was a punk AND did ballet, what more can I say?) and while Al tries to support his hobbies he is genuinely afraid both for and of him. “For” because “holy fuck that looks painful are you okay?”. And “of” because “are you sure those are bones inside you because I don’t think bones are supposed do that?!”.

- Ethan tries to assure him that no his spine is not made of rubber, broken bones or otherworldly materials so can he stop bothering him during practice please?

- This does not stop Al from making a million protection wards and constantly asking his deck if Ethan is indeed a Being of this Good Green Earth.

- Eventually his cards pretty much just tell him that he is friends with one bendy heck of a boi and he needs to fucking get over it so he kinda just,, ,,,,, , does.

- Again with the hc thieving (this time from @altorringtons) Al learning to use a two-handed broadsword so he can guard Ethan’s blind side and back in a fight *soft noises* just them trying so hard to keep each other alive because they love each other and they care about each other!

- They also sleep in the same bed whenever they get the chance (fully clothed ya nasties, they’re kids) and they just hug each other soooo tight because they just need to know they’re alright cos they always get pretty banged up in fights against campers or just monsters that are too much like wild animals to recruit. (What? Me? Projecting my desire to be intimately held by the closest person I have to family with their arms wrapped not tight enough to make me uncomfortable but tight enough to make me feel loved? Never! What on earth are you talking about?)

- Because Al is super stubborn and prideful whenever they have an argument Al can’t really bring himself to say he’s sorry so when he’s ready to apologise he just climbs into bed on Ethan’s blind side and cuddles him because he knows Ethan is super worried about getting attacked on his blind side so it’s like he has a guard or a shield.

- Ethan on the other hand just calls him a Rock Boy in a derogatory way until he gets over himself and apologizes but he really does love the fact that Al knows that about him and accommodates that.

- The thing they fight about most is how “heroic” the titan army is. Kronos’ brainwashing worked on Al like a charm and he fully believes that they are the rebellion and camp is the empire. Ethan on the other hand wasn’t at camp long enough for Kronos or Luke to really do anything but it doesn’t matter because Ethan really doesn’t give a shit if he’s on the “evil side” cos he just wants respect and he’s willing to do what it takes without a second thought of how people see him. If he thinks he’s doing the right thing but on the wrong side he can live with that but Al needs to feel like all of his side is on the moral high ground because that’s what Kronos drilled into his brain.

- Ethan knows that Al delusional when it comes to the non-existent heroics of the army but eventually he just decides to let Al believe the titans lies because that’s easier for him even if it hurts Ethan to see him being manipulated like that.

- Due to Ethan not giving a shit on the humanity of his bosses he gets punished a lot more often and a lot more violently than Al because they know that Ethan already knows they don’t care about him so they don’t have to sugar coat him but Al still believes that they’re heroes and his mindset needs to stay like that to keep him obedient.

- Also because I am  a Cruel Person By Nature I hc Ethan’s mortal family (which usually just consists of his dad) as meeting a not very pg13 end at the hands of a monster who wanted to nible on Ethan a tad which pretty much scarred him for life.

- SO, at the end of the battle of Man Hats Are In when Al looks around and sees that his whole family (that joined the titans) are dead! oh no! How sad! At least he knows someone whose been through the same thing so they understand each other and can help each other through this tough time together right? SIKE!

- so yeah Al learns Ethan d-worded in the worst possible way at the worst possible time and just looses it from grief. Loosing his family was bad enough but finding out he lost the one person he thought he would be able to confide in and heal with immediately after just really rubs salt in the wound.

- When the survivors start re-grouping to find someplace to hide until the gods forget about them Al just wanders off because it’s all he can do to not break down on the spot.

- He’s just wandering in a daze for a while and most people just assume he’s high but he snaps out of it and gets into anger mode when Lamia starts attacking him because he finally has something to do and occupy himself with even though it’s hard not to think about his sibling especially when Lamia keeps talking like they never would have died if she’d been in charge which is why she should totally just kill him and lead their siblings instead.

- His desire to have something to keep his mind off his family and Ethan is the first thing he thinks about when Claymore re-alives and immediately starts talking about doing research (yeah because that’s what you need after a long stressful day of fighting monsters and literally dying).

- Ethan keeps trying to cross the veil and help, even if he just sends Al a pleasant dream to help him sleep but contrary to what you might think from the name, the veil is really hard to cross so Ethan just has to bite his nails and watch his friend suffer.

- It gets easier to watch after Al and Claymore pretty much adopt each other because at least he has someone but they do still get into pretty scary situations.

- When they were both premortem they got paired up for a lot of missions for the titan army and they usually just tried to pretend they were on a fun road trip around America when they could and make fun of mortal shit together.

- At one point they were in a motel and the last people accidentally left behind one of Claymore’s books about death and they found it the funniest thing ever. Between a pair of in which one of their mum’s regularly goes to the underworld and one has been there himself they find mortal ideas of the afterlife to be very amusing.

- Alabaster has decided he would not like to share this with the class (Claymore) thank you very much.

- Also when they’re doing their road tripping Ethan knows all the best places to crash, the cheapest food places and the local gangs don’t bother them because between running away from camp and joining the army he just wandered around a lot.

- Like he’d just hop on a random train, take a nap and figure it out when he wakes up; he made a lot of friends this way too as well as his taste in clothes cos he didn’t have a lot of money so he’d just DIY some second hand punk shit. Al thinks he’s the Gandalf of the demigod world because he just knows everyone who might help them and everywhere they could spend the night. He definitely tells his siblings about Ethan being the closest thing they have to a wandering wizard and they fucking love it.

- Also because Nemesis tends to not have a lot of kids Ethan was the only one of hers in the army and Al felt really bad for him because his sibling were his favourite part about the army so he tried to include Ethan in as much as possible with his siblings.

- As an unexpected result Ethan ended up with a small army of super powered children to sick on the people who keep making jabs about him loosing in the arena battle.

- Al sometimes thinks he’s given him too much power but also he will fuck a bitch up if they make fun of his pals so he sees where his siblings are coming from and yeah those bitches had it coming. He also has a copy of bitchcraft.

- Ethan’s dad was the type to play “Stay With Me” by Miki Matsubara on repeat for hours and Ethan would probably enjoy the song but he’s heard it so often that now it makes his ears bleed and Al sometimes tortures him with for fun until Ethan starts throwing shit.

- To steal another hc from @chromarozee-spam Ethan has a thing for cats and one time Al accidentally gave himself mistform cat-ears and Ethan could not stop touching them. Ethan was just craning his head back uncontrollably grinning so much his face hurt. Al can’t bring himself to be upset because Ethan rarely ever smiles since he joined the army.

- Al saw Ethan crying over one of those video’s where people put their hoodies on backwards and put their cat in the hood so he made a mist cat and bought him a hoodie. Ethan of course started crying again but it was happy tears instead.

- Ethan is fucking tiny while Al is almost a foot taller than him. He wouldn’t mind so much if Al didn’t exhaust every opportunity to rub it in his face so he just starts climbing all over shit (especially tall buildings) half to give Al heart attacks and half so he can be like “Sorry? What was that? I’m so high up I can’t hear you. Can you speak up a little? Maybe get a ladder? Or taller?”

- Also I don’t know why but I hc Al as Texan. Ethan gets told about this “Alabaster C. Torrington” guy who knows latin, incantations and other magical knowledge and expects some fancy British guy so when they meet and Al speaks Ethan gets whiplash so hard he fuckin chokes.

- Al is also very casual and Ethan is pretty professional so when he meets this magic general with a straight back and the first thing that comes out of this assholes mouth is some “Howdy y’all!!” bullshit he just dies on the spot.

- Also because Al is texan he is very sensitive to the cold (I’m about 80% sure that Texas is one of the Warm states) so when he has to do stuff in cold places like the labyrinth or new york (idk about that one to but in every film I’ve seen that’s set in NY it’s raining for about 90% of the time) he complains about being freezing all the time until Ethan helpfully reminds him that he can literally make fire out of nothing, surely he can find a way to warm himself up.

- Ethan is also sensitive to the cold because he’s basically malnourished but he’s been like that for a while and thinks it’s normal so he sucks it up until Al notices he’s always cold. Ethan tells him it’s fine but Al is basically a walking electric blanket so whenever Al cuddles him to keep him warm Ethan can’t help but melt because he’s so fucking warm and soft and have you noticed I crave intimacy?

- Ethan started studying Greek myths vigorously since he found out he was a demigod and when he died he kept an eye and an ear out for Al because even though he wouldn’t be able to do anything it still reassures him to know what’s going on, HOWEVER, he was almost filled with enough malice to rip through the barrier between the living and the dead purely to beat an ass when he hears Al’s little “I don’t bother reading about worthless monsters like you!” jab.

- Ethan is very jumpy and fidgety to the point where Al is genuinely concerned and while Ethan assures Al that nothing’s wrong Al is still suspicious. Ethan probably would have told Al about it if it was because of anything but Kronos but seeing that it mostly is, he doesn’t because Ethan feels like Al will just take Kronos’ word over his and he’ll loose the only person he trusts in the army.

- Al doesn’t find out about it until way after the war when Kronos’ brainwashing starts to come undone because by then his mindset is a lot less biased in the titans favour so he can see things that he just unconsciously ignored before and is able to put two and two together. When he does boy is it a trip.

- Ethan is really bad at talking about feelings and stuff so whenever Al gets upset over something and Ethan has no idea how to talk to him he’ll just get him some rocks. One time Ethan found out about those heart shaped valentine boxes that are normally filled with chocolates but people put crystals in them and that just became his go-to for when Al was especially upset. 

- Al is only slightly better at talking about stuff but he can still get Ethan to open up to him which is good because Ethan isn’t very materialistic so it’s hard to make him feel better by buying him things and because someone needs to get Ethan to express himself in an emotionally healthy way.

- Also because of this they just can’t tell each other they love each other. Like they’ll barely whisper it when the other is asleep because they’re just so bad at talking about feelings. It wasn’t that much of an issue until after the war and Ethan gets k-worded and Al is left alone and sobbing over all the times he never told his loved ones how much they meant to him.

- But because this is a headcanon list; fuck that, Al saved Ethan with some sort of magic bullshit and they talk about how much they love each other all the time now because they can’t stand the thought of one of them dying having never been told how much they are loved.

[a-collection-of-villainous-aus]

Coffee Shop au part four

(Segment one of three)

If I forget to tag something important please tell me.

(Present day)

(Small warning Acylius does use those he tortures for food for other demons and non mortal creatures to consume so if you have a problem with that then um just keep scrolling I guess ^^; )

What was this…that strange feeling of disappointment at seeing Black Hats chair being vacant; after all he’d only been there twice so it was not as if he was a regular customer, especially as they’d only been open for two days.

Why should the old demon stay until closing time anyway, just because he did it on the first day didn’t mean he’d do it again today, he had no reason to stay…Black Hat had been rather forward though, kissing him like that, not that he was complaining but , he wasn’t one to just play around and be used.

Friends with benefits was one thing, at least you knew where you both stood, and yet still, why did it feel so familiar, an old dream perhaps, after all who didn’t at least have one wet dream about the great Black Hat doing sordid things to your body right.

Especially with tentacles, while wearing priest robes.

Yes he had his kinks, but damn you if you tried to shame him for them.

He huffed, shoulders going slump, no this was ridiculous , feeling sad just because that idiot of a Gremlin just upped and left without so much as a good bye, Hat didn’t owe him anything and he didn’t owe Hat anything either.

Clearly he was crazy, he had finally fucking lost it, thinking of The Great Lord Black Hat owing him a good bye and a kiss on the cheek as if they were lovers, he’d just met the bastard.

No he needed to either relax or worry if the destroyer of worlds was going to ruin his café that’d he’d always wanted with his mischievous downright evil antics.

Acylius was currently grinding up their latest victim, a man who’d been abusing Nicodemus’s workers (don’t worry if you don’t know who that is I won’t be bringing him into this unless I need him for like filler scenes)

Body parts in neat piles on the counter top, ‘pork’ pies were on the menu tomorrow, this was Black Hat’s island so even the people knew some places the menu would cater to demons so if they saw the chalk was in red they knew it was demon cuisine, though of course there was always the daring person who’d ask for it anyway in which a waiver definitely had to be signed.

Hey, wasn’t going to be Acylius’s problem if they decided to off themselves on food that probably wasn’t for human consumption.

This particular man had been a pig and he was serving sow next week.

Vile beings needed to meet a vile end.

This was going to be a long night, he could manage though, at best he could manage on two nights of sleep during the week.

Currently the head of the meat sack was animated and still alive, the man was so far gone he’d reached that point of acceptance that this was happening and nothing could be done, so seeing his body being prepped for pastries and such was more amusing than anything.

“I’m a Legion demon Jake, that’s your name right?”

“Yeah.”

“So, anyway as I was saying I’m a Legion demon in this day and age that means nothing to most unless you are perhaps ancient or still follow the old ways, I have nothing to offer thee Great Lord Black Hat.”

Jake watched as the demon deboned, removed a hand and of his shaved one of his arms before washing it down to make sure all the hair was gone before slapping it into the mince meat maker.

“Last I heard your kind was like some kinda lucky charm right dude?”

“Yes, but he does not need that from me, if we did anything he would be interested in me for all of five minutes and bail, he is all shadows and darkness, I will literally spend weekends in my boxers eating cheese puffs if the week has been hard enough, hardly a turn on for someone like Black Hat.”

Acylius snapped while working on another piece.

“I dunno, some beings like to see their partners being able to feel that chill around them, but hey that’s just my jam you know, anyway stop whining, this guy is old as shit right, you don’t know, your Legion demon shit might actually put a huge boner in his pants.”

Jake taunted, smirking as he watched his killer bristle up, oooo hooo sensitive much.

You know those scenes in anime’s where the other character suddenly gets really tall, shadows where their eyes should be and their hair seems to just be blowing in the wind and there’s that broken glass sound sometimes.

That’s Acylius’s reaction as his mouth turns into a ground out grin that’s splitting wider and wider along where the scars are, ironically that injury is the reason he can smile this wide now when the demon in him starts to show.

Jake was going to die, he was already he dead he knew it so why not torment him just a little more and get it over with

“Awww no I know what it is baby demon, you want a daddy you can suckle on and-

Acylius brought the meat tenderiser down on Jake’s head repeatedly until there was only pulp left, brain matter and blood were splattered across his apron with a few deep scarlet streaks going across his cheek, how brightly the red stood out against the snow white skin.

He was staring at the mess he’d made, panting softly, pupils thin and biting his lip, alright maybe he’d enjoyed that a little too much, he frowned though when he saw the pies had been covered to, well perhaps they would still be salvageable.

Scraping the remains of the head into the bin marked biohazard he pulled the bag out and set it down getting rid of other pieces he no longer required, tomorrow non human waste disposal would be picking up the remains anyway.

Demencia had caught the show and was leaning on the door.

“Looks like you got a little too into that Lulu, sure you don’t want to tenderise me on the surface.”

(NOTE, Acylius’s nick name Lulu was made last year in November 2019 because my friend had trouble pronouncing his name, so I tried to think of a name that he’d only let close friends and loved ones call him and that’s where that comes from, not Helluva boss, just thought I’d point that out as there’s a Lulu world and Loo Loo land)

“Not now Demencia, I’m not in the mood for your jokes.”

Acylius ran his fingers through his hair, regretting it once he remembered oh yeah covered in blood; a shower would definitely be needed before bed.

“Ah I see, so the head got sassy huh?”

Flug, because yes reminder Acylius is Doctor Flug, paused at the backdoor and pouted

“Might have, he also said some very offensive words that I did not appreciate.”

Demmy folded her arms, shaking her head and smiling

“Well you showed that head who’s boss, now hurry up binch I want my cookies and hot chocolate, it’s late.”

Flug lovingly gave her the finger as he walked out the door while telling her she had two hands she could do it herself.

The back alley was dimly lit, not that he couldn’t see or choose to focus his vision to see clearer but sometimes it was nice just to appreciate light that softly glowed and curled around corners to take in the world in all different ways and settings…oh he missed rain, there hadn’t been any in nearly two months now, he missed how things glowed, street lamps became brighter and car lights so red and vibrant against the grey trailing along winding roads of shimmering black.

Perhaps it would soon when the snow had melted, he’d go for a long drive and listen to the rain hitting the roof of his car, patting against the windows, listening to the quiet tick, tick, tick of the vehicle when he switched on the indicator.

Yeah just drive out the middle of nowhere, strip down and run in the rain or just let it soak into his clothes as his breath streamed out in wispy clouds…

Ears twitching he heard a late party of drunks making their way home, he watched them pass by, they were completely unaware of him, if he were perhaps a rabid sort of demon they would be easy pickings, but that was not his game, at least not tonight, there was no scent that told him a wrong doing had been done, just a group of friends heading home for bed.

Snow had fallen in the tracks left by the bustling day life of the people around here and now in the silence he wondered was he lonely, Demencia’s offers had sometimes had been all too tempting simply out of need for comfort and to be close to someone, sometimes it seemed she needed it just as much as he did when they’d just lean on each other and complain about their day.

Looking up he found someone watching him from the shadows, well more saw a pair of eyes, completely yellow, no white to be seen, oranges and reds, as if he were looking at the sun, shivering as a breeze rolled through he pulled down his sleeves, goose bumps rising, a tingling down his spine, just the little things that reminded him he was alive, he was not afraid of what lingered in the shadows, there was no sense of danger.

Perhaps they were a Legion fan , someone caught off guard by his appearance, after all Flug knew his scars could be quiet unsettling to some people…though come to think of it he did sense an air of fear about this being, still they were wide and unmoving.

Really the sensible thing to do would be to just go inside and ignore this creature, yet something kept him there a longing to talk to it, placing the garbage into the bins he smiled just a little

“You know stranger, you remind me of someone…someone I feel like I should know.”

Acylius’s ears lay flat as he heard them softly whimper, it sounded so sad.

“I am sorry, I was not being offensive I assure you, this person I speak of was very kind, at least he was in the dream, I dreamt when I was little , funnily enough a night like this, Mother had locked me out…”

He held one hand in the other looking at them, fingers curling around his thumb

“My fingers were so cold and red I could barely feel them, or the rest of myself to be honest…heh you probably do not want to hear the tired ramblings of an out of date demon.”

“No, please continue.”

There was silence again, that whispered voice, it comforted him, made him feel at ease, this indeed truly was a strange day.

“Mother had locked me out, I didn’t cry or beg her to let me back in, I knew she would not open the door, so I laid down cheek to the snow, despite being almost numb my face burned, my face…”

Tracing along his scars as he recalled the moment could not help but wince

“I had to be careful still they had barely healed by that point, but I remember how good the cold felt on them, red and angry they seemed to only be satisfied when pressed to the freezing earth, I knew that night or at least believed I was going to die and…I was alright with that until I saw a pair of eyes just like yours.”

Acylius took a step forward only stopping when he saw this being step back

“They were gold, I thought they were so beautiful , I thought maybe the angels we were told about were not so bad if they could come for something like me, his claws hands reached down for me but I didn’t see his face, all I heard was that I was coming home with him and his name…his name was…”

Acylius held his head in his hands, scrubbing them down his face

“His name was Cruentus.”

When he looked back at where the eyes had been there was only darkness, the demon in the dark had disappeared so quickly he wondered for a moment if they’d even been there.

No, nope, nope, that dream was not real, that being was not Cruentus, it was all coincidence and he was just exhausted, yes that was it, perhaps he should sleep tonight, or maybe he’d snacked on too much of Jake while he was working, or had too many sugary treats either way, it was pies in the fridge and off to bed.

Opening the back door he locked it behind him, ignoring the fact Demencia was chomping on one of the pies, after all she knew what was in them if she wanted to eat it that was up to her, his mind was elsewhere.

“Mmmm you tenderized this one good, Legs, nice and juicy.”

Usually her friend would react to that name, at least grunt or gently nudge her and tell her not to call him that, something was clearly bothering Acylius.

“Legs?”

Demencia asked gently, placing a hand on his shoulder, only for him to turn and pick her up by the front of her shirt, snarling as he did so

“Do not call me that name!”

Looking down at him, Demencia could really see something wasn’t right here, was he remembering something to do with that name, like it had always annoyed him, but that glare, the disheveled hair and fangs all bared …honestly in another situation he would be hot as fuck…alright she was already thinking he looked hot as fuck but this was not the time or place.

Touching Acylius’s face lightly, she watched as his ears flicked, his breathing was ragged, his eyes returning from being solid blue to having pupils and irises again, her hands were warm and comforting and he found himself leaning into them, lips pressed against her palm…she was there to ground him in his bad moments and he could never thank his friend enough for that.

“You mind setting me down you tree.”

Demencia laughed softly.

He carefully set her back down and pulled her in for a hug

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I would never hurt you, never.”

Nuzzling against his chest and wrapping her arms around him, patting his back

“Hey, hey now, none of that you dumb tree, I know you have gaps in your memory, did you remember why do you don’t like that name?”

“Hate, I don’t just dislike that name, I hate it…all I can hear is someone called Vincent and they make me curl up and die, I have no face only a voice, if I ever heard it…I would know…”

Flug was quiet, taking in just how small she was against him, reminding him how small most were against him like this, his talons formed, slowly stroking her hair, playing with the fuchsia overlay, down to her neck where it faded to lime green, such an interesting choice of colours to wear in ones hair.

“You already know I just appeared back into existence, as if the world itself birthed me, I was somewhere forgotten…and seeing Black Hat today, I think…no it is a stupid notion to think he could see me as anything.”

He kissed the top of her head, thankful that she had not let go, Demencia was the one being who never seemed to be afraid of him, who he knew he could trust and rely on in these moments where memories were trying to break through the surface and suffocated when they could not make it.

“I am a Legion demon, no more than a trinket in the end, I am a nothing in his world and I am okay with that, I have a nice peaceful life and a coffee shop just like I always wanted…”

He sat with her on the counter, as she sat on one of his thighs

“This is just a hug, you don’t need more right?”

Demmy enquired, slightly hopeful because who didn’t want to climb him, honestly, he was an idiot for not seeing he didn’t need to be some grand demon to be wonderful.

“Yes, just a hug…I wish I could say I grew up in a loving home with Christmases like in the movies, that I could tell you my life’s story, talk about a time I scraped my knee when I was small and had a mother who put cute cat plasters on me just because I like cats.”

She listened and let him stroke her hair, it’d always calmed him to pet soft things, so perhaps she might use shampoos that were just a little pricier than she’d usually buy simply to make sure her hair was soft for these broken moments no one else saw.

Even though he was not sobbing, made no notion he was crying, the damp warmth on her shoulder told her otherwise.

“I want to tell you the times my Father took me for ice cream, my first kiss with the person I fell in love with, something…anything, but there’s nothing there.”

She listened attentively until he had nothing left to say, carefully taking his hand from her scalp; Demencia held his face and looked at him

“Damn Sillyus, they really did send you back with nothing more than a leaflet.”

“I suppose, but I have so much to thank you for, when you found me on that street, I only remembered enough to get by, to survive, but you helped me to settle into this time and be a part of the modern world.”

Acylius kissed her forehead before pressing his to hers, eyes closed as he whispered

“I’m so tired of being lost, of being unsure of what I am, who I am, I just want to bake, make coffee and kill people in my basement, I think fortune smiled on me for a moment when you found me, I think I might just give you the world if you asked.”

“Awww come on dude, sounds like a love confession here, I have bills to pay off and knew there was a darker side in me, you’re the Sweeny to my Lovett.”

She teased fondly, lightly smacking the back of his head, smiling as he managed a laugh

“I guess I could agree platonically with that.”

“But honestly Slender Man, babe if you wanted to plant your tentacles and leave your seed in me I wouldn’t say no.”

Acylius rolled his eyes and shook his head, using a tea towel to wipe his face

“Honestly woman you are bloody hopeless.”

“Yeah but you love me all the more for it.”

She grinned punching him playfully on the shoulder

“Perhaps I do, but I am not as hot as you like to say I am, I hide my face, I hate when people look at my scars and pity me.”

Demmy raised a brow and climbed off of his leg, flicking his forehead

“I know you like to hide your face behind glamour and tricks but you’re beautiful even if you don’t see it dumbass, I’m starting to wonder what the fuck happened outside that had you coming back in as if someone stole your last apple crown and there’ll never be another one again on the face of the planet.”

She put the kettle on and took out the upside down pineapple cake; this was definitely a cake and tea situation

“First of all, do not say such blasphemous things, life would not be worth living without apple crowns, second of all…I think, I know I said there’s nothing there but I think I might have had a memory about my childhood involving Cruentus.”

Demencia nearly dropped the mug she was holding, setting it down she turned to face him

“Holy fucking shit, you mean thee fucking Cruentus, Hellhound butler, Hell Knight, works for the brooding clearly wants you to nail his ass Black Hat, that Cruentus…ahh I hear he has eyes like the fucking sun.”

Acylius gave her a deadpan look, hands on hips as he stood, looming over her, trying to look seriously only for it to falter

“You Demmy are just horny on main.”

“So what if I am? Gonna call me a slut like my last partner?”

She swatted away his playfully prodding hand.

“No, I never understood why it’s perfectly fine for men to have as many partners as they wish but seen as something terrible when a woman just wants to enjoy her life the same way, society is mad…also no more jokes on Black Hat you wicked beastie.”

Demencia would be lying if she didn’t admit his ability to shift from one mood to the other sometimes made her head spin, but it was clear he’d needed that moment to talk, shrugging she turned back to the kettle

“Alright, alright I’ll behave at least for now, I mean it’s clear the big bad doesn’t want you, how could he possibly want you…even though anyone with eyes could see he kept checking you out and every single coffee you brought him in hopes your stupid number was on it somewhere.”

Demencia couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at his sounds of huffing and frustration and heard him sit at the table, she did know there was stories, legends really by this point of Cruentus having a son, but you literally had to pour through footnotes and any books that might have had more information had been removed from shelves and privatized under the order of Black Hat himself.

End of segment one

(I'll try and type up segment two tomorrow)

[atamascolily]

lily watches fma:b, eps. 42-47

In which the Briggs arc goes out with a bang, and I have flashbacks to the “Day of Black Sun” from Avatar: the Last Airbender.

Okay, Al is basically still May's age on the inside, lol. i love those two.

hawkeye reduced to serving tea for Bradley makes me so damn mad.

but bradley is in love with his (human) wife so there’s that.

kimblee double-crossed the drachma dudes? how completely in character.

one of the chimeras betrays Scar's group and brings in Envy. I was hoping he'd be relevant again!! turns out it was a trap and the chimera isn't actually evil again.

so envy uses the philosopher's stone to power his shapeshifting?? sure looks like it.

apparently marcoh has been mixing alkahestry into his work and it's awesome. the ice sculpture in a middle finger is a nice touch.

oh, no, may's hiding out doing action at a distance and envy has no clue. GO TEAM.

okay, marcoh denatures envy down to a little bug form which is simultaneously cute and disturbing. Yoki messes with it at his peril. I love how envy accidentally takes the wrong hostage if he wants people to care about his victim's fate.  

Scar is inspired by Miles to change Amestris from the inside instead of just killing people, so... that's good, I guess?

scar gives may envy in a jar and tells her go home, which seems LIKE SUCH A BAD IDEA ON SO MANY LEVELS

(like, I get that they did this so May could save her clan--which clearly hit of Scar's buttons--does no one even bother to think this through...?)

(the last time an emperor tried to get immortality was Xerxes and THAT worked out so well, so... *cue 'The Genocide Song' from Trigun*)

Anyway, I predict this will not end well.

Meanwhile, one of Greed's chimera buddies, Bido, survived, and learns that the military is searching for Izumi and Sig, but they're on the lam. He follows them back to base when he realizes they're from Bradley; he wants revenge for Wrath killing his boss.

(i love u bido you adorable little rat.)

(also, the fact that the original!Greed was like, "fuck u, I make my own rules" and ran away from Father's schemes with his misfit friends just warms my heart.)

There are only three rules for state alchemists: "don't interfere with the military,""don't make people," and "don't make gold",LOL.

It's so funny to me that the gold thing is included, even though I don't understand how you can MAKE gold with alchemy if gold is a single independent element and you are bound by the laws of equivalent exchange. but whatever, it's still really freakin' funny to me that they don't want State Alchemists fucking up the economy with their magic chemistry powers.

anyway, turns out they don't also want people growing their own armies in the basement - that's what THEY'RE DOING. quoth olivier: fuck.

(fun fact: an RPG character of mine playing a necromancer in a urban fantasy setting did EXACTLY THIS and it was awesome)

somehow, al and winry get to liore (again, DISTANCE? Time??) and "Mr. Ho" is working for Rose's food stand.

And he's all, "oh, I heard about how you lost your body, lol" and then...literally walks off.

(the sad thing is that Hohenheim is literally NOT the worst father in this show - that award goes to Shou Tucker.)

Bido discovers the Zombie Meat Locker, then runs into Greedling... who doesn't remember him until AFTER he stabs him, sob. rip bido.

Winry takes a bath, because fanservice, and she and Rose talk... and it does not pass the Bechdel test, sigh.

there's a "Banks Bank" in Briggs, lol

I wish I could get my glasses to do the opacity thing on command.

Ling yells at Greed for being a jerk and Greed decides to try and kill Wrath because that worked SO WELL last time...(at least he managed to shield from Bradley's signature move this time)

The Armstrong patriarch makes Olivier and Alex fight over who gets to be head of the family, lol. Then he just walks out and starts acting like Olivier won the fight, which she does.

turns out it's to keep the military from taking them all hostage for Olivier's good behavior. She's really good at this.

Envy tricks May into going back to Central, sigh.

Ling regains control of his body long enough to run into Ed and explain before Greed takes over again

they're really laying out the whole "Seven deadly sins as a personal flaw" thing on thick, aren't they?

Greed just wants to be left alone, but agrees to team up if Ed works for him, lol.

Izumi proudly declaring herself to be a housewife as she kicks ass gives me life

the phone chain here is pretty impressive, although grumman loses major points for sexually harassing Rebecca

apparently, Father has to wait for the stars/planets/sun to align in order to do his Evil Alchemy - it's referred to as "the Promised Day" and I'm having flashbacks to the "Day of Black Sun" from Avatar: The Last Airbender (though I think it's supposed to be more like Sozin's comet?).

TIME SKIP! It's spring in Resembool for the sheep festival. Winry is smuggled home and finds Ed in her bedroom - right as she's about to undress. Hijinks ensue.

anyway, Ed and Greed are hanging with Pinako. Ed gets his automail serviced and Winry ups the stakes by refusing to run away in case things go wrong.

she is specifically ordered to stay at home and bake a pie while the men go out to battle, sigh.

meanwhile, greed approves of winry's desire to "have it all" (i.e, victory against Father AND Ed and Al getting their bodies back on the Promised Day) and Ed is Not Amused.

(i love greed so much, he is definitely the #BestHomunculus in this version.)

Scar has been gathering the Ishvalans to help save Amestris and thereby win acceptance back

Grumman calling the Fuhrer "Bradley-chan" is hilarious, full stop.

Al's body keeps calling his spirit back but I'm not sure why it's only been a problem recently, given the gap between its loss and the present day.

we're now up to the "day before the promised day" which means that from now until the end (ep. 64) is likely to take place in 48 hours (plus whatever resolution awaits at the end in 64). yowza.

unfortunately, bradley appears to be on to Team Good's elaborate plan, but it's unclear if Team Good wants it that way or not.

okay, it’s intentional, they blew up the train, but I'm pretty sure Bradley's not dead

(why is grumman narrating the "previously on" intro, tho)

The first thing Ed does when he sees Hohenheim is punch him in the face, #bless.

Hohenheim offers to use his stone to bring back his sons' bodies... which means he COULD have fixed Izumi earlier, but didn't. fuck you, hohenheim.

okay, so it really is "the Day of Black Sun after all" - WHY DOES AN ECLIPSE MAKE ALCHEMY WORK BETTER, PLEASE EXPLAIN.

(he does not explain)

hohenheim asks if ed will help with the plan, lol, what exactly is the plan here, very cryptic of u

I can't believe Pinako asked Ed to tell Hohenheim Trisha's last words. Like, that was her job. She TALKED TO HIM HERSELF EARLIER IN THE SHOW. WHy the fuck did she make ED do it?

hohenheim cries when he learns that trisha said "sorry, I couldn't keep my promise. I'm dying first." AS WELL HE SHOULD, THE FUCKER.

ed buys red cloth and uses it to make his flamel jacket again I'M HOWLING

Al pops out of the bushes unexpectedly and Ling takes over Greed shouting about how his homunculus sense is tingling... I hope Greed doesn't die, but I'm not holding my breath

ed wins by knocking out all the lights, extinguishing the shadows... because pride can only exist in with some light, not full dark? I don't get why shadows work but not dark, despite greed specifically saying “you can’t have shadows without light”. DARK IS DARK, isn’t it?

grumman goes to look for bradley's body,but it's unclear if he's using his allies as a means to take over the country later or if that’s miles’ paranoia

GREED AND LING WORK TOGETHER TO FIGHT GLUTTONY AWWW YEAH

AND THEN LAN FAN SHOWS UP WITH HER BADASS NEW ARM AND SAVES THEM BOTH

(way to level up, Lan Fan!!)

[noddytheornithopod]

Holy shit my thoughts on Mind over Mutant got surprisingly complicated so uh here’s a massive discussion under the cut, lol.

Out of all the main post Naughty Dog games... this might be my favourite after all? It’s far from perfect, but I think I had the most satisfying experience overall.

To start, visually everything looks pretty good. Granted I’m using the PS2 version which has a few visual bugs because it was designed for Wii and X360 graphics more, but generally I like how it holds up? Shame 360 emulators aren’t a thing as of now, and I’m not buying some old console just for one game, lol. Speaking of PS2, there’s no Coco option because apparently her moves were too complex for the system, RIP.

To start... yes, fuck the backtracking. It’s perfectly reasonably why this pisses people off. For me, it’s mainly the transition between Wumpa Island and the Ratcicle Kingdom since you have to go through AND back twice, with little variation. Other paths at least have you only needing to retread once for the story or there’s a new extra path in it that unlocks. At least some of the enemies change up I guess? But honestly, I think what bugs me more is that it’s not exactly consistent in its implementation. Because for a while, yeah you’re going back and forth retreading old ground, but then you get the key for the Junkyard on Wumpa Island and you’re just teleported to the Junkyard gate. Same thing happens when you get the Uka Uka bones. And of course, there’s the teleporters to find said bones, which is kind of striking a middle ground. Basically... it’s kinda inconsistent. Tedious when it is, but when you suddenly start to get used to it, you’re given massive leaps lol.

There’s stuff from Titans that was changed that I don’t really understand why? For example, the block with Crash no longer has a dodge, and dodging is now purely responding to mutant attacks. I like the addition to help even out things between Crash and mutants, but why no dodge normally? There’s no board sliding anymore, nothing calls for it obviously so it may have been pointless but it is kinda funny. Also Crash’s glide is replaced with the spin drill, which of course has its uses, but I miss having that glide too (you could have both, maybe the drill is by holding square or even pressing triangle, IDK).

On the topic of Crash, I kinda feel like Crash’s gameplay is oddly sidelined? I think it’s because of the mutant storing. Even if there’s less combat, much of the platforming now uses the mutants, and because there’s only some sections where you have to be Crash, it means you end up being Crash rather sparingly unless you really want to stick to him. Like, mutant storing is a good idea and works with the kind of game, but compare to Titans where even if it was more combat focused, the fact you had to use Crash in more parts meant you end up playing as him more than this game, and thus it feels like he has more of a presence with his own move set.

The combat felt off at first, but I ended up realising it’s because I became used to the Titans system... to start, it’s less intense and slower paced. You’re rarely gonna be swarmed so you actually have a chance against enemies. There’s also the mutant mojo upgrades, which means your mutant actually grows stronger with each upgrade, making combat different each time.

I like how they use mojo... for the most part. I like that the mutants can now be upgraded, and Crash of course grows stronger. My one reservation is that the upgrades don’t feel that diverse? In Crash’s case it’s probably because he keeps most of his moves from Titans, but still, only strength and spin upgrades isn’t the most exciting. Same with the mutants, getting stronger and the occasional special attack boost is cool, but it’s not the most exciting. I guess I need to view it like a Ratchet and Clank situation, because that’s what this is more like... including the multiplier. Including a multiplier with your combo level to make mojo worth more helps a lot with upgrading.

Because mutant gameplay is now more diverse instead of just a few classes that do their job, it also comes across as more inconsistent? I like that there’s improvements like them being able to jump now and more attack variations eg from when you block or jump and hit attack, but I also find some of it a bit awkward. Like, many of these attack variations are cool, but the tutorials give fuck all clues to them, so it’s hard to figure everything out.

For example... seriously, it took me ages to figure out how to use the TK in combat. TK is a pretty fun mutant, but until you figure out how to shoot and combine attacks with their telekinesis, you’re gonna be stuck to slow heavy attacks and awkwardly throwing enemies around.

I also find the Rhinoroller awkward. Because of the new moveset compared to Titans, it’s on one hand less slow, but on the other, it can get pretty annoying to control.

Ratcicle feels kind of overdeveloped. They can freeze stuff AND surf on shallow water. I mean, it’s great, but it kinda makes the other mutants look less exciting, lol. But yeah, one of the best mutants in this game because they definitely thought of much.

There’s a few mutants that are fun to play as like Spike, Sludge, and Battler, but unless you go outside the main story, they don’t really feel like they have much of a presence. The introduction pacing feels off, basically.

Snipe and Stench are back as ranged mutants. Snipe suddenly gets an upgrade and is pretty fun to play. Stench I’m not so crazy about, like now their special attack isn’t ranged anymore so that kinda messes up the gameplay with them, and while the fire rate is improved from Titans, every now and then they do a reload animation which I assume was meant to add detail, but all it does is slow the gameplay down and make the rhythm of firing off.

Magmadon is around, and while they aren’t underused, I do think it’s a bit of a missed opportunity with this game’s increased platforming focus that it doesn’t have any fire/lava abilities. There’s only one place that’s too hot for other characters and thus making them necessary too. Like, imagine if you could use it to melt through ice or even metal, eg a door that must be melted down to progress. Sludge’s shrinking ability is only used like two or three times (and I think only one is mandatory), so I think there’s missed opportunities there too. The shapeshifting and extendable arms stuff could’ve made for some cool mechanics. Adding more platforming abilities for mutants might overcomplicate the game of course, but... still. Especially with Sludge, give them some more use, even for secrets and such. Speaking of secrets... Spike needing to use the special attack on that one spiky part on the way to Mt Grimly is pretty random, huh?

Scorporilla and Yuktopus serve their role as the massive powerhouses (and Scorporilla even gets a beefed up melee combo), though I must admit it’s odd Yuktopus is now demoted to a regular enemy/sub-boss class (seeing two in the minigames was surreal when I was young lol). And I mean, random changes in design and stuff is something I find odd in general. I mean, the returning mutants mostly have improved designs, but for others I’m not as sure on, eg Rhinoroller looking less rhino-y, and Sludge suddenly being a boar instead of an frog or chameleon or whatever it was in Titans. Guess some is NV mutations but whatever, lol.

On the topic of enemy design, one thing I miss from Titans is the colour and outfit variations. Maybe they had less time to do it and at least the single models they get look good, but still, it’s a shame. We do get the hero mutants, but the PS2 version fucks up their looks for some reason, lol (and for some reason their mojo upgrades separately from the standard of their species, which is weird, especially since it’s not counted in the game’s completion).

Grimlys are cool, probably my favourite mutant in the game. Kinda funny how they don’t have a block and instead a lock on function, but it makes sense given they’re meant to be used faster than other close range mutants. But yeah, time slowing is so cool it’s even back in Crash 4 with one of the new Quantum Masks. Really helps you rake up that combo count to get all that mojo too.

The minions are... interesting. They mostly do their job, but then suddenly you have Doom Monkeys and Znu that have these massive stun attacks that can get annoying if there’s a lot of them. Slap-Es can block but as long as you’re not Crash they’re as quick as any others. The Doom Monkeys are less annoying in speech too, thankfully.

I get a few audio bugs. Most annoying of which is being unable to hear enemy conversations. But sometimes I just got sound effects cut out for no reason. On the inverse... some of the mutants are very noisy and need to shut up. Aku Aku also sometimes adds commentary when unnecessary, making him feel a bit handholdy. Yes, I’m going to the damn roller village, be patient, dude.

Probably the thing to impress me most revisiting the game is actually the continuity and worldbuilding. I mean, to start, you have all the mutants becoming free and forming their own societies, only for the NVs to turn them into evil warriors again. Said societies are pretty interesting as well.

Wumpa Island is mostly the same (sans all the stranded Ratinicians gone wild lol), but then you have the Ratcicle Kingdom. A Kingdom formed mostly out of ice, and also near Cortex’s evil public school. Nothing like this was in Titans, so was there always a cold part of Wumpa Island, or did the concentration of Ratcicles allow them to make enough ice to form a cold climate and society despite this being tropical nearby? All the designers and stuff are cool, and some of the characters are quite peculiar (I love that one masochist Ratcicle lol).

Then there’s the Ice Prison and Evil School. IDK how the Ice Prison was made, but it seems like it’s Cortex’s doing since the Brat Girls run it AND Evil School (while also being students?). As one of those lore junkies that headcanons Wumpa Island is the second island from the original Crash games, this fits oddly well, because in Twinsanity Cortex suddenly has a massive floating Iceberg lab. Maybe Cortex also made the school and prison nearby, and the Ratcicles took their Wumpa Island residence and connected Cortex’s base. Yeah, I’m getting crazy with my speculation, but the game letting you fuel this is fun. Also cool how the Brat Girls leave Nina after she loses in Titans and end up as Cortex’s grunts, ironically.

The Wasteland seems new, and I assume it’s the evolution of the Lumberyard from Titans. We also have rhinoroller elders even if it’s only two years of existing lol.

The Junkyard is apparently born out of the remains of N Gin’s weapons factory (I heard somewhere the Weapons factory was apparently on N Sanity Island but IDK if that was ever confirmed, it makes more sense it was on Wumpa Island TBH but if it was imagine all that junk moved there lol, TBH Cortex Island could work for the weapons factory too, it would make things less cluttered and it’s possible there’s still unpolluted beaches but whatever). It’s a pretty cool setting, and the Doom Monkeys being in the remains of their old location but under new leadership (and somehow with rockets removed from their heads... maybe they were merely aesthetic? lol) is nice continuity. Judging from the concept art it also seems to be around that volcanic area in Titans, which makes sense given that had more machinery.

Mt Grimly is completely new. Surprisingly it’s not an evolution of the Uka tree (though there is one creepy tree place with the hero Grimly on Wumpa Island), and as a result it’s much harder to work into my 2nd island headcanon (I mean, at least that island always had a giant tree lol). Cool location, but unfortunately we don’t really learn much about its normal state compared to the other worlds, unless it’s permanently inhabited by evil dudes, lol. Also I still wonder what the heck the Znu and Grimlys are. Are the Znu supposed to be the same thing as Grimlies? Are the Grimlys NV transoformed Znu??? Who knows.

Even the changing enemies in revisiting locations relates to the story. For example, the sludges in the Junkyard will say how Slap-Es and Stenches have appeared from “the sky”. Besides random occasional appearances from different mutants in various locations, you also have the Znu and Doom Monkeys moving out of their home levels to the previous ones after you make it through said levels the first time. I’m very perplexed by the sudden increase of Battlers when you revisit evil school and the ice prison paths though... either they’re also favourites of Cortex, or the Brat Girls disappointed Cortex after he saw Crash break into school and Nina helped him and he... used NVs on them to make new Battlers. Other stuff like Snipes in the Wasteland because of the Snipe hero are clear enough, but this one is... interesting.

There are some inconsistencies that bug me though. For one, it feels like nobody acknowledges Cortex’s blog video. Aku Aku acts surprised that N Brio is back and working with Cortex, and later wonders how Brio gets dark mojo even though Cortex explicitly says he’s using Uka for that. IDK, I guess Aku Aku doesn’t like watching internet videos and expected Crash and Coco to do everything, lol (I mean, he doesn’t really acknowledge it after watching anyway). Also a bit confused on how evil school works... it’s implied the Brat Girls are the main students, especially when one NPC says it’s all girls, but the intro video includes all genders and shows non-Brat Girls so... something’s up (maybe the NPC misheard or the ad was lying and only had girls because EVIL). Also apparently there’s another evil school somewhere besides Madame Amberly’s (is it also public? how is it public, is there a government funding these evil schools? did Cortex declare some regime?).

The humour and cutscenes are mostly pretty fun and there’s many funny moments. There are a few jokes that are... questionable at best (Uka I know you’re evil, but you don’t need to be ableist), and some of it probably seems outdated, but I actually appreciate most of it. The 2D cutscenes in different styles simulating changing channels like you have an NV is cool and has some pretty fun jokes with them, though it does suck you don’t see some character models well if at all as a result. The whole satire of consumerism and the latest tech fads was a nice addition (between this and the different mutant powers and stuff, it’s almost a classic Ratchet and Clank type game), not to mention wild stuff like evil recycling (and I mean, green movements ARE co-opted soooo) and many edgy but still mostly jokes I doubt would pass today.

Bosses are fine. Cortex was fun, but Coco was too easy (plus she’s freed from NV control a bit too soon, they could’ve saved her for the Ice Prison or even Evil School or something to raise the stakes, I mean if you’re not gonna fully commit to playable Coco then you may as well go the N Tranced route). Crunch wasn’t as hard as I remember, in fact he was kinda underwhelming. If anything the Scorporilla and Yuktopus acting as sorta sub-bosses in-story were better fights than saving the bandicoots (also one of the sludges says Crunch is Crash’s brother... confirmed?). Also small nitpick but why doesn’t Coco have her evil model in the enemy profiles, even as she has her boss lines?

Music is legit one of my favourite soundtracks in the series, Marc Baril doesn’t get enough credit. He manages to have such a range and it all works so well even as it has a distinct and fitting style.

Voodoo doll collecting is more involved which is cool, and there’s also golden wumpa now serving as health upgrades because we don’t have lives anymore. Yeah, Titans and MoM did gold wumpa first, not CTR:NF and Crash 4. At this rate I wouldn’t be surprised if it showed up even earlier. Minigames are optional too which means less stress for 100% completion, though there’s also the arena minigames (oh hey, more Ratchet and Clank similarities), and they unlock enemy skins... unfortunately unlike Titans which had skins for every enemy, there’s only a few skins here (one for each world’s games), which is disappointing.

Anyway... yeah. Mind over Mutant isn’t as polished as Titans and is a bit messy and inconsistent in some places (most likely because this game has less time than Titans), and some of the backtracking is tedious, but in general I had a pretty good time with it, and was actually pleasantly surprised by some things.

[aion-rsa]

10 Best Fighting Game Movies

https://ift.tt/31CS0wp

Once upon a time, Bruce Lee, Jim Kelly, and John Saxon visited a crime boss’ private island to compete in a fighting tournament and it was awesome. The 1973 movie Enter the Dragon is basically the prototype for the fighting games like Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter. And when those fighting games became popular, they inspired their own movies that either tried to emulate Enter the Dragon or do something completely new.

The ‘90s gave us the cheesy live-action fighting game movies from Hollywood and the animated movies from Japan. There have been several live-action Mortal Kombat movies as well as a few animated ones. There have also been multiple Street Fighter movies, four attempts at Tekken, a trilogy of Fatal Fury films, and more.

Are most of them bad? Yes. But did we pick our 10 favorite fighting game movies anyway? You bet. Here are our picks:

10. ART OF FIGHTING (1993)

Eh…it’s harmless.

The Art of Fighting series is mostly defined by the twist that the first game’s final boss is the main character’s father and the second game’s final boss is a younger incarnation of the villain from Fatal Fury. Take away those aspects and you’re left with a rather lowkey storyline for a fighting game where a teenage girl is kidnapped by a mobster and is rescued by her brother and her boyfriend.

Wait, I said that weird. It’s two different people, I swear! Except in Capcom, where Dan Hibiki is literally both of them merged into one character.

In the 45-minute Art of Fighting movie about Ryo and Robert, who are like chiller and dopier versions of Ryu and Ken, we watch as the duo gets sucked into a plot about stolen diamonds, martial arts criminals, and angry police lieutenants. It doesn’t take itself seriously and it’s a fine, breezy watch.

Ryo’s incorrect hair color kind of irks me, though.

9. STREET FIGHTER ALPHA: THE ANIMATION (1999)

This movie suffers from the same problem as Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture. It features a cast of heroes from a fighting game taking on a villain created for the movie instead of the villains we actually give a shit about. But the movie does also have some brief but awesome cameos (Kim Kaphwan and Geese Howard from Fatal Fury and Dan Hibiki and Akuma from Street Fighter Alpha) to brighten up a less-than-stellar plot.

Street Fighter Alpha: The Animation does at least get by because the original characters play up Ryu’s whole fear about being overcome by “the Dark Hadou.” This leads to some cool animations where Evil Ryu looks like a mindless, shambling zombie but also an unstoppable fighting machine.

The movie’s main storyline is about a kid named Shun who claims that he’s Ryu’s long-lost brother. He too is a fighter cursed with an inner dark side, which is used as a red herring to suggest that Shun’s father (and presumably Ryu’s father) is actually Akuma. That ends up being bupkis and Shun is just linked to some scheme by a mad scientist or whatever.

Probably the funniest thing about this movie is the directors’ infatuation with Chun-Li’s midsection. She’s wearing her form-fitting Street Fighter Alpha costume and there are dozens upon dozens of random close-ups to her lower torso from the front and back. If this were a drinking game, it would kill you.

8. FATAL FURY 2: THE NEW BATTLE (1993)

Of the Fatal Fury movie trilogy, this one is easily the best, even if it makes all the good guys seem like a bunch of overly-serious crybabies. The basic story is that after having avenged his father’s death, Terry hits rock bottom, dusts himself off, and comes out the other end stronger. Good, good. Going Rocky III is the perfect direction for a follow-up.

The problem is that Terry comes off as a bit of a whiner and the other heroes try way too hard to vilify the movie’s main antagonist, who hasn’t actually done anything that terrible. Krauser shows up one day, challenges Terry to a fight, wins, and says, “Okay, when you get better, train and fight me again.” Krauser isn’t trying to take over the world or murder orphans or whatever. He’s just a dude with huge shoulder armor who wants a good fight.

But everyone acts like Krauser’s the absolute worst. Terry starts drinking and falls to pieces while his buddies hope to get revenge. What a bunch of jerks.

While a fun romp, the worst thing about this sequel is how they redesigned Krauser. Gone is his mustache and forehead scar for the sake of making him seem younger. Kind of a bullshit move, considering he’s supposed to be the half-brother to middle-aged Geese Howard.

7. TEKKEN: THE MOTION PICTURE (1998)

This hour-long anime is almost great but just can’t stick the landing. It runs into the same problem as Mortal Kombat: Annihilation where the game series tells a specific overall story but the movie cuts corners to tell the same story. Tekken: The Motion Picture covers the first Tekken while setting up Tekken 3 and skipping Tekken 2 completely.

It means that everything’s well and good until the confusing and rushed finale. Otherwise, the movie is a fine use of the Enter the Dragon formula. Heihachi Mishima has a special island fighting tournament and the entrants include his vengeful son, a couple of cops investigating the situation, a gigantic robot, an angry Native American girl, two feuding assassin sisters, and a bunch of awesome characters who only get about three full frames of appearances each. Really would have liked to see something from Paul, King, and Yoshimitsu, though.

Other than Kazuya being pissed at everything, the best scenes are the over-the-top ones. When Jack does crazy robot stuff, when dinosaurs show up and start eating people, and that memorable sequence where Heihachi catches a hatchet with his mouth and then shatters it with his jaw.

6. STREET FIGHTER (1994)

I know this movie is just a GI Joe script with Street Fighter names pasted over it. I know it’s a cheesefest of dopey ideas and Belgian accents. I’ve long accepted that. Thing is, the movie is still a total blast to watch. What it lacks in faithfulness to the source material, it makes up for with pure camp and ham.

The 16 characters from Super Street Fighter II are represented here, except Fei Long is replaced with the forgettable Captain Sawada. How ironic that the movie star character isn’t even in the movie!

In general, the movie features some head-scratching depictions of classic Street Fighter characters. All-American Guile is played by Jean Claude Van Damme, Charlie Nash and Blanka are the same character, Dee Jay is an evil hacker, Ryu and Ken are comedic conmen, and Dhalsim is a frumpy scientist.

It’s Raul Julia’s M. Bison who keeps this guilty pleasure afloat. He’s to Street Fighter what Frank Langella’s Skeletor was to Masters of the Universe. He gives 110% and his performance is easily the best reason to watch this movie. It’s truly a wonder to behold.

Read more

Games

The Forgotten Fighting Games of the 1990s

By Gavin Jasper

Games

King of Fighters: Ranking All the Characters

By Gavin Jasper

The movie is infamous for inspiring a fighting game based on it, but you know what nobody ever talks about? The Double Dragon movie also had a fighting game based on it made by Technos and released on the Neo Geo. And Double Dragon wasn’t even a one-on-one fighter to begin with!

Anyway, if you intend to sit back and watch Street Fighter, make sure to add in the RiffTrax commentary.

5. DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE (2006)

Enter the Dragon meets Charlie’s Angels is a heck of a concept, but DOA: Dead or Alive is so confidently tongue-in-cheek that it succeeds as an action comedy that’s way better than it has any right to be. Part of why it works is that Dead or Alive has never had much of an overarching storyline, but is more defined by the individual characters (plus, you know, all the cheesecake). Enough of those characters appear in what’s your regular “fighting tournament on a mysterious island” setup.

The whole thing moves with such energy that it’s easy to get sucked in. It’s the opposite of the live-action Tekken movie, where even though the film features accurate versions of all the characters, everything is so drab and lifeless that you just can’t wait for it to be over. In DOA, the combatants spend their downtime playing cartoony action volleyball with Fake Dennis Rodman on commentary, while in Tekken everyone mopes about dystopian capitalism.

Other than Helena’s character being “important dead guy’s daughter,” most of the main characters are charismatic enough to keep your attention during the 3% of the movie when fights aren’t happening. It must suck for Ninja Gaiden fans that Hayabusa is depicted as a total dweeb, but he at least gets to do some cool stuff here and there.

The movie also has Kevin Nash playing a character based on Hollywood Hogan and he’s so likeable that I’m genuinely bummed that he peaces out about halfway into the movie. Luckily, the movie is entertaining enough that I didn’t even notice until after it was over. It helps that during that time, we get more of Eric Roberts, his amazing hair, and his special sunglasses that turn him into the ultimate martial arts master.

Spoiler alert, but the secret to defeating him is, get this, removing his sunglasses!

4. MORTAL KOMBAT LEGENDS: SCORPION’S REVENGE (2020)

It took a while, but Warner Bros. Animation is on fire these days. After that Batman vs. TMNT movie and Teen Titans Go vs. Teen Titans, the studio appears to be hitting more than they miss. That’s exactly the kind of team needed to put together the latest animated Mortal Kombat movie.

This is the umpteenth retelling of the first game’s story. Not only does it have to compete with the first live-action movie, but also the events of Mortal Kombat 9, which depicts the tournament in cutscene format. Fortunately, Scorpion’s Revenge has a few tricks up its sleeve. First, it puts Scorpion in the forefront as the protagonist. He was barely a character in the original movie and the game just had him kill Sub-Zero and feel bad about it for the rest of the story mode. Now he feels like a character in a crossover, making a mark on the original story instead of being put in the sidelines.

We also have the wonderful stunt casting of Joel McHale as Johnny Cage. More importantly, Jennifer Carpenter plays Sonya Blade, which is such a step up from Ronda Rousey’s voice acting in Mortal Kombat 11.

This cartoon has a very hard R when it comes to violence. From the very beginning, Scorpion’s origins are gruesome and grisly. Once Jax is introduced, it doesn’t take long until we realize, “Oh, that’s how they’re dealing with THAT plot point in this continuity.” Then there’s a surprise villain death late in the movie that not only comes as a shocking development, but it’s so graphic and nasty that you can’t help but be taken aback.

Scorpion’s Revenge is a fantastic first chapter of what is hopefully a series of animated movies, but it does have its pacing issues. Scorpion being the protagonist may be a welcome change, but at times it does feel like a square peg being crammed into a round hole.

3. TEKKEN: BLOOD VENGEANCE (2011)

One of the best things about the Tekken series is the endings. While the cutscenes from the first couple games haven’t exactly aged well, these CGI epilogues have become a staple in nearly every installment. What better reward for your time and success than watching a rocking action sequence with Yoshimitsu and Bryan Fury killing each other in the jungle?

And so, to play to the series’ strengths, Bandai Entertainment released a Tekken movie that’s really just one big ending cutscene. It’s not canon, but it feels at home with the games.

Since Tekken’s main conflict is with two ruthless megalomaniacs (Heihachi and Kazuya) and a disgruntled nihilist (Jin), it’s hard to treat any of them as a real protagonist here. Instead, they go with Ling Xiaoyu, who is portrayed as the person who sees the good in Jin and wants him to see the light. She’s given a robotic BFF in Alisa Bosconovitch because Xiaoyu is kind of a tame character and needs someone with chainsaw arms and a jetpack to liven things up.

The first hour or so is good enough to keep your attention and its lightened up by a couple appearances by Tekken’s best character, Lee. But once it gets to the third act, it just becomes a completely awesome Heihachi vs. Kazuya vs. Jin fight, with Xiaoyu taking a backseat to watch all the crazy shit going on. It’s a full-on fireworks factory, as we not only see Devil forms of Kazuya and Jin but a very special final form for Heihachi that’s a true delight for Tekken fans.

2. STREET FIGHTER II: THE ANIMATED MOVIE (1994)

Let it be said that for someone who grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s, finding a faithful cartoon adaptation of a video game property was not easy. Link and Simon Belmont were unlikable sexual harassers. Mega Man was a more annoying sidekick than Scrappy Doo. Mario and Luigi teamed up with Milli Vanilli. Power Team was…a thing. When we got an animated movie based on Street Fighter II, it was mind-blowing. This was a movie where the very first scene was Ryu tearing Sagat’s chest into a bloody gash thanks to a well-animated Shoryuken.

There’s a lot going on in this movie, but at the same time, nothing is going on. By this point, there were 17 characters in the various Street Fighter II games, and outside of a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Akuma cameo, it feels the need to include every single one of them. Some get minor roles, like Cammy and Dee Jay. Then there’s Zangief and Blanka, who fight each other for no reason other than for the sake of giving them something to do. Even Ryu vanishes for a huge chunk of the runtime.

Once everything funnels into the third act, this movie is great. And the earlier fight scenes are straight fire too, including the memorable Chun-Li vs. Vega brawl. Even though the movie already feels true to Street Fighter II, it’s even better when you realize that it’s all supposed to be a prequel to the game itself.

Or at least I hope so. Otherwise, all Sagat gets to do is get his ass kicked by Ryu and get chewed out by Bison.

1. MORTAL KOMBAT (1995)

The stars truly aligned for this one. Mortal Kombat Mania was at its peak, so it makes sense that this movie was a retelling of the first game’s story with added aspects from the second game, all while hyping up the arcade release of the third game. CGI was such a novelty in Hollywood in the ’90s that even if it looked primitive, it still looked cutting edge at the time. It was the perfect time to release this movie.

But Mortal Kombat isn’t perfect. Reptile is embarrassing. Scorpion and Sub-Zero being relegated to goons still stings. I still roll my eyes at the part towards the end where Sonya is suddenly the damsel in distress and Raiden flat-out verbally buries her by saying she couldn’t beat Shang Tsung in a million years. Otherwise, it’s the perfect storm of ‘90s action garbage.

There are so many over-the-top and charismatic performances here. Johnny Cage, Raiden, Shang Tsung, Kano, and even Goro are a blast to watch. All 10 characters from the original game are given something to do and, most importantly, they realize how uniquely weird the game’s story is and actually dive headfirst into it. The movie isn’t embarrassed to be a Mortal Kombat movie but handles itself well enough that we aren’t embarrassed to be watching a Mortal Kombat movie.

Even with a PG-13 rating, the movie was violent enough. Kano talked up seeing a pile of frozen guts in the wake of a Sub-Zero fight, Scorpion got his skull sliced apart with demon brain goo spewing all over the place, and Shang Tsung got impaled to death.

With the reboot being rated R, going for the gore could very well be the right route to go, but for the love of the Elder Gods, don’t forget to have FUN. All I’m saying is, if even Johnny Cage isn’t hamming it up, then what’s the point?

The post 10 Best Fighting Game Movies appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2Qf5EPa

[malecftw]

Being Billy’s twin and him being protective when Steve flirts with you

A/N: I’m so disappointed. For some reason, I felt so much pressure today to write and while I’m semi-happy with it, this one gives me a weird vibe idk :/ Also had no energy left to proofread soz. still hope you like it though

Word count: 1.940

Warnings: cursing

Masterlist.

Requests are open!

‘Y/N we’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry the fuck up!’ ‘Language Billy!’ I scramble around trying to pick up all the books I need for today as I hear the exchange between my twin brother and stepmom. He never could stand the woman but figured it’d be better to stay quiet for both of our sakes. Actually, more for my sake since I had to pay for his behavior a lot of the times, being the middle ground between Billy and the rest of the family I always got to hear everyone’s opinion about the other, whether I asked for it or not. I zipped up my leather boots and made my way downstairs, the stairs creaking under my weight. 

My stepmom had her back towards me as she lectured Billy. I didn’t even try to hide my middle finger as it went up in the air behind her. Billy noticed this and started laughing, causing me to glare at him for almost ratting me out when she turned towards me and I acted like I was looking at my nails. She gave me a sickening smile and sighed. ‘Gosh, thank goodness for you y/n. Try to teach your brother some manners will you.’ ‘Isn’t that your job Susan?’ I shot back, I may be the middle ground but he’s my blood and she was an idiot to think I’d choose her over him.

Her smile turned into a frown and she opened her mouth to defend herself, but I didn’t let her. I walked passed her and grabbed Billy by the collar of his leather jacket. ‘Come on, we’re gonna be late. I’m sure Susan has time to drive Max if she has time to lecture a 17-year-old about his language.’ At that Billy just died and followed me out the door towards his car. ‘You are a work of art you know that lil’ sis?’ He said smiling as he got behind the wheel. ‘Are you feeling okay Billy? What’s with the lack of daily commentary about my clothing choice or my face?’ He smirked and turned his head towards me. ‘Oh come on y/n, I’m your big brother. I’m supposed to give you a hard time, that doesn’t mean I don’t have your back. You’re my sis, my actual sis. Plus, you’ve actually done well today. We have a reputation to uphold in this place now that I’ve made it clear to Harrington who’s boss.’ I rolled my eyes, his macho behavior cringing me out. ‘Thank you God Almighty for your approval of my outfit.’ He laughed and nodded his head to the rock music on the radio. ‘You’re on fire today.’

With Billy’s speeding, it didn’t take long for us to arrive at school, everyone eyeing the car that had already claimed the closest parking spot after a month of parking there. Everyone already knew the car and who it belonged to. Max and I kept more of a low profile though, neither of us interested in the act Billy wanted to keep up. But I’d be lying if I’d say it didn’t seem like an interesting prospect, being seen as the new bad girl at school. I was over petty high school drama and the bitching that came with it.

‘See you at 4. Try to stay out of trouble.’ I shouted, not looking back at Billy. Looking around with confidence, I make my way to my locker, holding my books close to my chest. A couple of guys eye me up and down whilst leaning against their lockers and it makes me want to vomit. Men are pigs.

I approach my locker and see a guy leaning against it, I’d seen him around the school but never paid much attention. Until now. His hair had a prince charming vibe to it and he looked like he was waiting for someone. I decided against the confrontation and walked passed him towards class when I heard his foot kick himself off of the locker, catching up to me quickly. ‘Hey wait up.’ I continued walking, deciding whether or not I should just smack him with one of my textbooks.

He ran ‘till he was in front of me, chest heaving from physical strain. ‘What do you want.’ It wasn’t even really a question, I just had no idea what else to say. He put his hands up in defense. ‘Woah princess, just wanted to make some conversation.’ I rolled my eyes at the pet name, who did he think he was. ‘Don’t call me that.’ He nodded, grinning cause, of course, he was gonna keep calling me that if it got a reaction out of me. ‘Look, I’ve just been seeing you around and I figured I’d ask how you like your new school. ‘Why? Are you the school mascotte?’ His mouth fell open and he looked rather impressed. ‘No... Call it human empathy and my incredibly caring nature.’ I scoffed and continued walking, bumping into his shoulder.

He swiftly turned around and started walking beside me. ‘Don’t you have class to get to?’ I asked, annoyed as hell that he was still trying with me. ‘Where do you think I’m going. Calculus first period.’ I groaned audibly and he laughed. ‘You really don’t like me do you?’ Looking up at him, he looked sincere; Not hurt, not upset, just curious and a little intrigued. ‘It’s not that, I just... I don’t care for fooling around. I’m not interested in teenage behavior. What would make you so different from all the other guys here?’ I told him genuinely. I didn’t mean him any harm, I just couldn’t see how he’d interest me in the slightest.  We got to the classroom and right before I entered, he put his arm in front of me, blocking the way for me to get in. ‘Don’t you want to find out?’ He said smirking before removing his hand and walking in, leaving me standing there baffled at his never-wavering confidence.

I sat by myself at one of the tables in the cafeteria, minding my own business waiting for my friends to show up when a figure plopped down on the seat next to me. Judging by the waft of cologne making its way into my nostrils I didn’t have to think twice about who had decided to join me. ‘Do you really have nothing better to do than stalk me?’ I asked, not bothering to look up from my lunch box. He laughed and scooted closer to me. ‘As a matter of fact, I don’t. You see, there’s this girl right. A total stone cold bitch. I’m trying really hard to get to know her, but she could pretty much have any guy or girl in Hawkins. So tell me, what should I do to get her attention?’ He eyed me carefully as I smirked, not sure if that was a good or a bad sign. You take her out to lunch, you show her who’s boss. And if you really are as special as you think, she’ll let you know. Or not.’ All of a sudden, his eyes were on his food, toying with the apple in front of him. My place, tonight, 8 pm. I’ll pick you up,’ He states while he picks up his food winks at me before walking away.

Soon enough the day passed by and before I knew it, it was 8 pm. I decided to keep my old outfit on, not wanting to look like I put in any effort even though I did put on some makeup. I could hear the roaring of a vehicle through my opened bedroom window and looked outside. There he was in all his glory, looking like a king. I closed my window and smiled. Maybe he wasn’t all that bad. He seemed like a good guy.

My feet took me downstairs, a couple of books in hand as I announced my departure to my family. ‘Hey, I’m going to go study at Stacy’s okay?’ My dad immediately spoke up. ‘At 8 pm?’ ‘Everyone looked at me while I easily came up with a lie. ‘Yeah, she had band practice ‘till 7 and she still had to have dinner.’ My parents and Max seemed to buy it, but not Billy. He kept a close eye on me as I put on my coat. I looked back before closing the door behind me, noticing his glare, I look down, buckling under the pressure of his intense stare.

But all of that faded into nothingness when Steve’s car came into my view. I giggled to myself as I walked towards him. I placed hands on his open-windowed door and he looked at me, spitting his gum out before talking. ‘Hop in princess.’ I grabbed his chin teasingly. ‘Call me that one more time and so help me god-’ ‘WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!’ Billy’s furious voice shouted into the night air, briskly walking towards me as he never took his eyes off of my date. 

‘Billy come on.’ I said whining, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. ‘Don’t talk.’ He commanded and Steve got out of the car, looking done with the whole situation. ‘Come on man, let her go.’ ‘Don’t tell me what to do with my baby sister, Harrington.’ I rolled my eyes but I quickly picked up on what he said last. ‘First off, we’re the same age dickhead. Second of all, you’re Harrington?’ Steve looked at me sheepishly and nodded. ‘Look for what it’s worth dude I had no idea she was your sister.’ ‘Well now you know. Now get the fuck away from her.’ Billy said as he kicked a front tire of Steve’s car. ‘I’ll do what I want. And the only reason for me to stay away from her is if she wants that.’ This only made Billy more furious and I pulled my arm out of his grasp before going to stand between the two angry teenagers. ‘Both of you need to calm down and chill the fuck out.’ I shout, both of my hands pushing against the two boys’ chests.

‘Billy please get inside while I talk to Steve. We don’t want dad or that evil stepmonster coming outside now do we. This made him rethink his next move and he obliged grumbling something between his teeth. ‘You better watch out Harrington. I’m keeping a close eye on you and you so much as hurt a hair on her head and you’ll have to answer to me.’ Steve shook his head, wondering what he got himself into. ‘I don’t plan on it.’

As Billy makes his way back to the house, still a bit heated from having to give up his position of power I look at Steve. ‘Rain check?’ He asks knowingly. I just nod and take a step towards him. Even if I didn’t really know the guy, I felt bad. Billy had some serious issues and he was just very protective of me but Steve did not deserve any of it. 

Y/n took Steve by surprise as she wrapped her arms around his torso, hugging her tiny frame into his tall one. He hesitantly mimicked the gesture and she could feel it. ‘Please don’t treat me differently now that you know he’s my brother. I won’t let him hurt you.’ He sighs worriedly, ‘It’s not me I’m worried about y/n.’ I nuzzled my face into his tummy, taking in his smell as we stood there for a couple of minutes.

Maybe Steve Harrington wasn’t as bad after all.