#LIKE SURE DUDE IT WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD BUT ALSO WHAT THE /FUCK/

[syn4k]

also uh while i'm writing something in this era of s2. are we ever going to talk about that time at the very end of the season that tucker literally murdered a bunch of defenseless children that were the last of what remained of ianite at mianite's behest and the only reason that any survived was because jordan and martha agreed on something for once in their goddamn lives and worked together to hide one where tucker couldn't find it? because im gonna be real right now: what the fuck was that. What the actual fuck. It didn't even lead to anything. Ianite wasn't even revived afterwards so narratively it was all for nothing anyways. Genuinely, what the fuck man.

[patolemus]

Sterek fic recs: Fake Dating AU Edition

Because @oldefashioned requested a fake dating rec list, here it is. These are all very funny, as fake dating fics ought to be, so I hope you get a good laugh out of it.

1. Not Your Disney Romance by Wrennefer (Wrenegadeone)

After a long-forgotten agreement of an arranged marriage between Derek and the daughter of another pack's alpha resurfaces, Stiles takes it upon himself to become the most amazing fake fiancé that a clueless, desperate alpha werewolf could wish for.

Notes: Domestic pack, my beloved. Stiles and Derek are precious here, I LOVE THEM!! The visiting pack, not so much, but who cares about them?? It's all pretty lighthearted, all things considered. It's completed.

2. Electricity In the Contact by ladyblahblah

In which Derek has been invited to the Greater Pacific Northwest Alpha Symposium (that's not what it's called, Stiles, stop saying that), and showing up unattached would mean an arranged marriage. When the rest of the pack objects, he agrees to let Stiles come along to pose as his mate. Derek is reasonably sure that he's not going to make it out of this weekend alive.

Notes: Werewolf convention fics are so good! I actually haven't found all that many, considering how common a trope it is, and it's a tragedy because they're always so well done! This one is no exception, and the mini-world building is also great! It's completed.

3. can’t be hateful, gotta be grateful by HalfFizzbin

"Be cool, Dad, we've decided to con Grandma." (Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's and she gets the right wrong idea.)

Notes: this one is just *cheff´s kiss* wonderful! It's all pretty domestic and the humor is on point. College student Stiles and the Sheriff are strong armed into spending Thanksgiving with Stiles' grandma, and they find nothing better than to bring Derek with them. Pining and misunderstandings ensue and thus comes the fake dating. It's completed.

4. Gravity’s Got Nothing on You by zosofi

“Three weeks,” Derek says. “Still don’t want to,” Stiles says. “I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so… “How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“ “My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.” “A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

Notes: this had such a chokehold on me when I first read it. Absolutely wonderful. Enemies to lovers?? Maybe. Assholes to assholes-in-love, is a better descriptor. There's werewolves, and magic, and it's awesome! It's completed.

5. He’s Not Mine by Sonnee

Derek comes home to find an abandoned werebaby on his front porch and Stiles volunteers to help him out. Surprisingly, that is just the beginning of his problems.

Notes: again, it's all very domestic, like most fake dating fics ought to be. It's a kid fic, Sterek are mates, we have all the love. Not much else I can think to add... it's completed.

6. Real life isn’t a movie (life doesn’t make narrative sense) by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie)

Somehow accidentally insulting a hot guy in a coffee shop leads to pretending to be his boyfriend in front of a house full of werewolves. Stiles Stilinski is living his best life and making the most of his Hallmark movie moment.

Notes: this one had me cracking up because it's so funny! Stiles is living his best life, for real. Derek... suffers. But it's okay, because he gets a boyfriend out of this whole thing! They are disgustingly sweet in that assholish way they have. It's completed.

7. You look like my next mistake by Vendelin

“So, are you dating someone new? Someone who doesn’t mind that you’re frigid?” Kate cocks her head to the side, smiling as though she just asked him about where he bought his shoes. His entire body sighs in defeat as his shoulders grow square. Just as he opens his mouth, someone comes up to stand beside him, snaking an arm around his shoulders. When he glances to his side, expecting to see Isaac, his brain seems to malfunction. Because it isn’t Isaac. It’s Stiles Stilinski, the lacrosse talent of the year, a senior who Derek has seen multiple times from far away, but never ever talked to. In which Derek is a nerd jock, and Stiles is a frat guy, and Derek falls for him even though he knows he shouldn't.

Notes: this one had me HOWLING it's so good!! Frat boy Stiles, my beloved. It's technically not fake dating because it turns into an actual relationship pretty quickly, but it starts as fake dating so I'll take it. Stiles is an absolute sweetheart in this one, I love him! And Derek is shy, and insecure, but he's so great, and everyone gets a happy ending except Kate, which is always a good thing. It's completed.

8. All’s Fair In Orgasms and War by bleepobleep

AVN BREAKING NEWS-- DIAMOND VISTA RIDGE BREAKS HIS CONTRACT WITH HALE HOUSE "We haven't seen much of our favorite rock hard stud from Hale House ever since that indie twink dethroned him as champion in Orgasm Wars, but it's just been confirmed that Diamond will no longer be working for the legendary studio famous for producing some of our favorite werewolf-on-human works. Don't fret, Diamond fans, it looks like he's been spotted cozying up to True Alpha Studios! Apparently he couldn't get enough of that one human and then followed him home. Could it be true love? Keep your eye on this studio-- us at AVN think we're about to get a lot more of Diamond in a very new way!" ~ The one in which (almost) everyone is a porn star, and Derek just wants to curl up with his fluffy blanket and watch the Hallmark channel, but work and falling in love gets in the way.

Notes: okay but is this fake dating? Maaaaaybe. It's kinda complicated. Basically everyone here is a porn star and the pack has this studio where they cater to werewolves and have a whole thing about established relationships, which is where the fake dating comes up. It's surprisingly very fluffy, considering this is a porn au, and Derek is the softest goober in this one. Stiles is completely enamoured. It's completed.

9. Wanted from the You Are series by Asterekmess (Livinginfiction)

With the Hale pack finally settled and safe, it only makes sense that something would happen to screw it all up. To top it all off, Stiles has to pretend to be Derek's mate, or face a pack of angry Alphas. He's doomed.

Notes: Alright so this series is wonderful. The world building done for the Alpha pack is also great, and that's the center of the second part (which has the fake dating). I do recommend reading the first part before jumping on to Wanted because it is a direct continuation. Also, it's an amazing au! It's completed.

10. For Love is Not Ours to Command by weathervaanes

Where Derek's skills at thinking on his feet mean that he and Stiles have to act. For the sake of Stiles' dad, of course, for the sake of the pack. No personal interest interference at all, whatsoever. Right. -0- “Why does my dad say that you and your boyfriend are a bad influence on me?” “What?” “Yeah, what boyfriend? Dude, you are not allowed to not tell me crap like this. You didn't think I'd like be a douchebag or something. Right?” “No, wait, what? I have no boyfriend.” “He says you were with him at the police station.” Stiles blinks. “Uhm. Oh shit.”

Notes: Stiles just wanted to find dirt on Raphael McCall to blackmail him. Somehow, he got himself a whole ass boyfriend. It's complicated. That's it, that's the fic. It's completed.

11. Stiles Stilinski, Boyfriend Extraordinaire by MareLoup

“Beacon County Sheriff's Department, this is deputy Mahealani speaking.” “Oh thank god!” “Stiles?” “I, uh, I need some advice.” “Advice?” “Yeah. So, hypothetically, say you met your boyfriend’s mother and sister for the first time ever. Completely by accident. In the grocery store. And they convinced you to help them make a dinner to surprise aforementioned boyfriend when he got home after work. What would you do?” Danny paused, and then, “Stiles, you don’t have a boyfriend.” “That’s not the point! And I said hypothetically.” “Stiles...what are you doing right now?” *** Stiles never imagined he’d be in Derek’s kitchen cooking a surprise dinner with Derek’s family while they waited for Derek to get home from work. Partly because their visit was a complete surprise. But mostly because Stiles didn’t have a boyfriend. Or even know who Derek was. But he’d already come this far and Papa didn’t raise no quitter!

Notes: this is to date one of my favorite Sterek fics. I laughed so much while reading this, I'm not even joking. The whole thing is a comedy of errors gone right. Stiles somehow finds himself pretending to be Derek's boyfriend, only he has no idea who Derek even is and why his family knows Stiles at all. His inner monologue is one of the funniest I've read, and his slow descent into (good natured) madness is wonderful. It's completed.

12. Love Like An Ache In The Jaw by Anonymous

“So let me get this straight,” The sheriff massages his temples, “You found a magic book, and performed a magic spell that has backfired and magically bound you to Derek Hale, rendering you both in agony if you’re not in the same room.” Derek and Stiles exchange a look. “Um. Yes.” Stiles says sheepishly. “Right. And just to be clear, when we’re talking agony… exactly how agonizing is the agony?” Derek clears his throat. “Sir, I’ve had a pole stabbed through my chest and held there for an hour. This was… similar.” - In which boredom, magic and dumbassery come together to produce a Christmas miracle slash disaster. Oh, and Stiles' grandmother who knows absolutely nothing about the supernatural happens to be in town. Oops.

Notes: another hilarious one. Stiles does Stiles things and ends up magically bound to Derek. No one is amused except Stiles' grandmother, who's having the time of her life, here. It's completed!

[evilminji]

ACTUALLY~☆ (Because I have apparently woken up and chosen violence)

Bigger Trash Ship! Greater Drama?

Ra's X Vlad! Love Story of the millennium! Not one with a good MORAL to it, but it Sure Is A Story!!! And people SURE ARE DYING!

LET THE FENTON PARENTS HAVE THEIR HOT SCIENCE SUMMER! Local Sexy Immortal with Assassins? Causing problems? Attempting to seduce their college friend to a LIFE OF EVIL AND CRIME (sexily) (probably with silks and fine wines) and send DEADLY NINJAS to steal their LIFES WORK! Threaten their kids! Action movie honeymoon take two!!

Wooooo! *the fentons high five as a League base explodes in the background*

Vlad out here trying to get over Maddie. Trying to prove himself he's a Strong Independent Half Ghost That Don't Need No Partner(TM). When? Oh No. OH NO(TM).

He's HOT.

He's got expertly styled hair, a rippling physique, a voice like God damned smoke and bourbon, honey and wine. He SMELLS GOOD. Stop that! Cease! Stop being so... so SUAVE! You CAD! Scoundrel! D:<

But! Ra's is like? "Good looking, immortal, Pit Blessed Being that can assist me in everlasting life? Is WILDLY into me, an excellent manipulator, yet also easy to manipulate? Will be obsessively loyal and loving? I literally see no down sides. Time to go manipulate him into being mine."

Because just ASKING THE DUDE OUT? Inconceivable. No, no. We gotta be weirdos about this. Threats and creepy presents. Kidnapping to fancy dates.

The worst part is Vlad is probably INTO all this and kinda deeply flattered.

Jack is horrified. Maddie says keep hi- I mean, Oh No! Not Vlad! You-! *checks notes* Bastards! Unhand our dear friend at once! *sees ninja* oooh! Look honey! Cannon fodder! Fun!

And where are the kids in all this?

Camp, probably. It's in the Zone. They left before it got weird and came BACK to... honestly? Either Vlad engaged or an immortals booty call. Both are equally traumatizing.

Their parents have ninja lab assistants now.

What? The Actual? Fuck???

@babbling-babull @hdgnj @hypewinter @nerdpoe @ailithnight @the-witchhunter @mutable-manifestation

[fuctacles]

Henderson's-brother-centered misadventures continue [Part IV]

[Part I] [Part II] [Part III]

Eddie screamed. Then, he screamed some more. Then, he got hit with a teddy bear, which bounced off into the floor, barely disturbing his mane of hair.

“You get a drop of spit on my pillow, and you’re washing all my sheets!”

He groaned, like a wounded animal. If animals could be wounded by their best friend’s disloyalty.

“No, dude! You can scream into your own fucking pillow! We can jam if you need, smoke or steal a beer, hell, I can even listen to you. But don’t just come here to stink my room with-” Gareth made a flapping motion in Eddie’s general direction. “Whatever this is.”

Eddie groaned louder before finally rolling onto his back.

“I fucking hate him.”

“I was hoping you’d choose jamming,” Gareth sighed. He threw his leg over his chair and leaned on the back of it. “You mean Big Bro Henderson?”

“Who else?” Eddie threw his hands up into the ceiling. His friend barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes. “He’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met!”

“Good thing you can’t meet yourself, then.”

Eddie glared at him, but from this angle, it gave him a double chin which severely decreased the look’s efficiency.

“You calling me annoying?”

“Yes.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘lively’. Or ‘charismatic’! Or, or, ‘non-conforming’!”

“No, I’m pretty sure ‘annoying’ is the word. Also, ‘dramatic’.”

Eddie glared again, but since his position has not changed so hasn’t its lack of impact.

“How dare you,” he seethed. Gareth completely ignored it.

“So, what did he do this time? Give you more cookies?”

“No!” He had regretted the decision to tell him about it as soon as it left his mouth, but it was out there now. Well, the price of the blackmail material was listening to it first. “He just…” Eddie trailed off, realizing what he was about to say. ‘He let me sit in his lap for the whole length of Karate Kid’ was so much harder to explain than ‘he gave me an extra cookie for my good work.’ He scrambled to find a better approach. 

“So he’s like a therapy dog,” he started, because painting the scene is important.

“What.”

Wrong approach.

“Okay, so I’ve found out he has some issues, something to do with the Starcourt fire, I think? You know nothing of it, by the way, I probably shouldn't know about it. Henderson, well, the little one, just has a big mouth.”

“And so do you. By telling me,” his friend pointed out.

“Emerson, this isn’t about you,” Eddie scolded him. “So he needs extra physical contact or something. And he might have um…” Wrong turn again. “Engaged me in it?”

“Ok, hold on,” Gareth dropped his forehead on the edge of the chair’s back and rubbed his temples. “What do you mean by that? Because I know it’s not as weird as you make it sound.”

Eddie crossed his arms, which looked extra stupid in his horizontal position. He tapped his socked foot against the mattress.

“We were watching Karate Kid, and the couch wasn’t big enough for four people. Nobody else wanted to sit in his lap and I thought it would be, you know, funny, to offer. And he just said ‘okay’, and did it!” His arms flew up into the air again.

Gareth lifted his head.

“So you sat in his lap.”

“He put me in his lap.”

“Dude, you throw your legs all over me when we watch a movie!”

“Yeah, but that’s different!”

“How?”

“Because we’re friends! We play together and shit!”

Gareth scrunched his nose because while he knew of the wisdom his friend possessed (very selective and rarely occurring in the daylight), admitting him right was painful because the cockiness he possessed was probably far greater.

“Well, maybe he’s giving you signs he wants to be friends?”

Eddie snorted.

"No way. Not possible. No."

"And why is that?" Gareth raised an eyebrow at the adamant negation.

"I'm his younger brother's friend-"

"Who's his age."

"-And we like different things. I'm a freak, I like metal and D&D!"

"So does Dustin, and they get along well."

"They are brothers!" 

"Well, I actually hate my sister, it’s not a rule."

Eddie groaned.

"I don't know," he ended up saying, just to voice his internal frustration. At least he was facing the ceiling now and not Gareth's pillow.

He hummed, considering his friend, trying to understand his problem, to even locate it.

"Okay, so you don't like that he's nice?"

"Yes."

"... You want him to be mean?"

"... Yes? Maybe?"

Gareth hit his head against the chair. 

"This whole conversation is lost on me."

When he looked up he met Eddie's eyes, a storm brewing behind them.

"I don't want to like him. But he makes it hard not to because he's so nice."

‘He treats me like I'm normal, like his equal’, went unspoken but Gareth could hear it anyway. It was time to end the questions for the day because getting any deeper into his friend's psyche could trap him like quicksand. 

"And then I go to apologize and end up talking about BDSM of all things!"

"Nope!" Gareth straightened up and hopped out of his chair. "We're going to the garage, so I can't hear you over the drums."

"What a best friend you are," Eddie grumbled but rolled off the bed regardless. He was secretly glad for an excuse to stop talking about Henderson because he started getting lost in his thoughts and feelings himself.

The next time he sees Steve, he doesn’t make it any easier. They see each other only in passing, and the older brother doesn’t give him more than a weak smile and a "Hi, Eddie. Dustin's upstairs," before leaving.

Eddie walks up to his friend's room thoroughly confused. 

"What was that about?" he asks instead of a greeting. He never greets his friends properly these days, but there are more important things like ‘hi’s and ‘hello’s.

"What was what about?"

"Steve," Eddie frowns like it explains everything. And apparently, it does.

"I think he's still upset after last time."

Eddie blinks.

"I said I was sorry!"

Dustin rolls his eyes.

"Sorry doesn't solve everything. It's like a," he snaps his fingers looking for a good comparison. "Like one of the spell components. It's not gonna work without all of them."

Guess he is casting Charm Person after all.

"Okay, but like. What are the other components?"

Dustin just shrugs.

"Hell if I know."

Eddie was burdened with the most unhelpful friends. 

"What do you do when you upset him?"

Dustin's first instinct is to protest, probably point out what a great little brother he is, but one stern look from Eddie makes him shut his mouth and reconsider his words.

"Well, if I made him upset, I'd help him with dinner, make him coffee or tea, pick a movie I know he'd like. Help out with chores, mostly. He does too much by himself." The frown on his face is deep like the mystery of Steve's adoption and Eddie mirrors it.

"This sounds all great when you're brothers, but I'm not a Henderson, how am I supposed to pull that off?

"You helped with dinner once, you could do it again," 

Eddie sighs, long and suffering.

"I guess…"

"Great! Steve has left to get groceries and is making dinner later, I'm sure he'll appreciate the help!" He grins, knowing full well he just backed his friend into a corner.

Eddie sputters when he realizes that. 

“What? Today?”

“No better time than the present.” Dustin shrugs smugly, like it was a universal law they can’t help but follow.

Eddie bristles, because, yeah, true, but…

“I'm not mentally prepared," he complains. 

"For what?" Dustin raises his brows in this annoying way of his. "Cooking?"

"You ate my mac and cheese, you understand the severity of the situation!" he yells, accusingly pointing a finger at him.

"Ate is a big word, I spat it out. And calling it mac and cheese is also a big word."

"Exactly!" Usually Eddie didn't like his abilities slandered like that but on the rare occasion when it served his purpose… 

"Steve's first casserole was also inedible," Dustin shrugs and Eddie tries to picture Mr. Perfect Housewife fucking up a dish. "You have about an hour to mentally prepare before he's back though. You can spend it finishing your readings."

Ah, right. The mundane purpose of his visit was schoolwork.

Eddie groans. He can only hope the tragic stories of holocaust victims will set him in the right mind for cooking with Steve.

They don’t. He's heavily unprepared for the confrontation when they're running down the stairs to help with the bags. 

When Steve's instructing them which things he needs and which can be put away, Dustin elbows his friend in the ribs, hard. He hisses in pain, attracting Steve's attention.

"You staying for dinner?" he asks before Eddie can say anything. 

"Uh, if I can help with it, then yeah," he says, feeling Dustin’s annoying beady eyes on himself.

Steve frowns at him.

"You don't have to do that, I’ve told you before."

"Yeah, but I'm done with my work for today," Eddie adds under the menacing gaze. "And my cooking skills need some guidance. Wayne is too old to stomach my food, he can't risk another food poisoning,” he babbles, earning himself a snort from Steve. 

“Okay, if it's that bad,” he agrees finally,  the smile Eddie has gotten used to once again on his face. "But you'll be under strict supervision."

"Of course!"

"Okay, you already got yourself a kitchen slave, so I can go finish my work," Dustin speaks up before promptly disappearing, only the sound of his rushed retreating steps left.

"Guess we're alone then," Steve comments, giving Eddie an odd look. He thought he was used to those but Steve's were always hard to decipher. Not the exact kind he usually got.

He clears his throat to dislodge the weird feeling clogging it up.

"So, what are we cooking today?"

Steve hums, looking at the ingredients before him.

"You ever cooked soup?"

"Uh, I assume you don't mean the instant kind?"

Steve makes a disgusted face, fake gags for a good measure too.

"Soup it is then. It's getting colder, and I'm sure Wayne would appreciate it," he says, eyeing Eddie questioningly, and this one he deciphers easily.

"My uncle,” he explains. "I live with him."

To his surprise, Steve smiles warmly.

"Wanna make some extra you can heat up for him?"

"That's-" Eddie's taken aback, which doesn't happen to him often. "That would be very nice, thank you."

"It’s nothing. He should know his nephew is spending his time productively."

"I'm always productive," he mutters back a complete lie. But he's been trying, okay?

"I know," Steve says, surprising him again. "Maybe I want to get on your uncle's good side too."

Eddie doesn't ask why. Doesn't want to know. Doesn't speculate. Just leaves it be, bugging him for the time being.

"I was thinking fritters too? Since they're easy to heat up later."

Eddie nods, watching him sort through the vegetables.

"Whatever you say, chef."

Steve instructs him through the soup preparations first, explaining it needs more time to cook. 

“I hope you don’t mind veggie broth. El didn’t like chicken and we kinda got used to it. Also, it’s cheaper,” he says, watching Eddie pour water over the vegetables arranged in the pot. 

He puts the pot on the burner and looks up.

"Who's El?"

"Dustin's friend. She moved to California though," Steve answers with a frown.

"That's a bit of a drive."

"Yeah," Steve scrunches his nose, then looks back into the pot, before reaching for a box of seasoning.

"Ok, now for the fun part."

Eddie has no idea how seasoning a pot of vegetable water can be fun, but he's not about to argue. He follows instructions and marvels at the amount of weird plants that could be added to food. 

"I feel like a witch," he whispers, tossing dried herbs into his cauldron.

Steve chuckles.

"You kinda look like one."

Eddie side-eyes him from his position over the pot.

"I hope that's a compliment."

"Oh, it is," Steve says in a weird voice and Eddie is too afraid to look at him. He flips through the seasoning packets instead, reading unfamiliar names.

"Okay, so this needs a couple of hours to cook, you'll know when it starts getting together from the smell. Then we'll blanche the onions and garlic, add the tomatoes, blend it all, and it's done. Now we can work on the fritters. Have you done them before?"

Eddie thinks about it for a moment.

"I saw my uncle make them."

"Potato ones?"

"Uh, yeah? Are there more options?" he asks, eyebrows drawn together.

"Apparently, yeah,” Steve rolls his eyes. “A fritter is technically anything you can grate, slap together and fry in a pancake-ish shape."

"Huh. I've learned so much today already."

Steve laughs. 

"So, what do you want in the fritters?" he asks and Eddie is ridiculously giddy about having a choice.

"Can we put meat in them?"

"Yeah, I've made them with bacon before."

Eddie's eyes sparkle.

"Potatoes with bacon and cheese?"

"Holy shit,” Steve groans. “Claudia's gonna kill us, but it sounds so good." He ponders on it for a moment. "We could add corn to pretend there are vegetables in them."

"Ketchup is a vegetable," Eddie points out and Steve bristles. 

"We're not eating them with ketchup!" he protests. "But… we could use some of the tomatoes to make a sauce."

Eddie never thought cooking could be this fun.

"Yesss!"

"You're way more excited than I thought you'd be," Steve observes, grabbing the potatoes to wash.

"I'm a growing boy, of course I'm excited about food. Besides, we're like two alchemists; mixing up stuff to make other stuff."

Steve laughs again.

"Are those the guys who tried turning metals into gold?"

"Precisely!"

He's tasked with peeling the potatoes while Steve puts bacon in the oven. He’s  never good at it, and he huffs angrily when Steve joins him and gets through three potatoes while he peels one. What's worse, he can see him watching and his fingers twitching.

"Okay, I can see you itching to correct me. Just do it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah man, unless you have some disease I could catch, I'll be fine."

Steve winces and Eddie has a lightning-fast memory of a rumour that gays spread a deadly disease. But Steve isn't gay, probably, and it's just a rumour.

Steve is still haste when he rearranges his fingers on the peeler and takes his hand away like touching him burns.

Eddie frowns. Well, that's not gonna cut it.

"Like this?" he asks, making a motion he knows is wrong.

"No, like-" Steve reaches out and hesitates. 

"I don't have cooties, come on."

Steve presses his lips together and wraps his hand around his. He has to move closer too, crowding Eddie's side. 

"Like this," he says, whispers really, pushing his hand in the right motion.

This suddenly feels more obscene than it is, but Eddie’s half tempted to push it further.

"Your hands are weirdly soft. Do you steal Robin's hand cream?" he asks instead.

Steve huffs at the backhanded compliment and retraces his soft, big hands.

"No, I have my own."

"Hmm." Eddie cocks his head, looking him up and down. "Should have guessed."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Steve asks with a frown, but he can tell the anger is played up. 

"Nothing," Eddie shrugs. "You just look like someone taking care of himself." 

Steve keeps looking at him like he is not sure if he should be offended or not so Eddie helps him out by rolling his eyes. 

“Don't worry, I judge you more for your music than your hygiene.”

“Of course,” Steve huffs. “You wouldn't know much about hygiene anyway, would you?” he teases with a smirk.

Eddie gasps.

“Are you implying trailer trash don't clean themselves?” he asks, eyes wide and offended. 

“What? No!” The smile vanishes instantly from his face. “Of course not!” Steve scrambles to defend himself. But then, he cocks his hip and crosses his arms.

“You know what? No. I stand by it. Your hair needs proper care, not whatever 3 in 1 you treat it with,” he says. 

“5 in 1,” Eddie corrects him smugly. 

“Five?”

“Hair, body, face, beard and ass,” he lists on his fingers, earning himself a look of disgust from Steve. 

“For that alone, you’re washing your hands again.”

Eddie knows he doesn't have to, but complies anyway. Whatever makes the big Henderson happy. And consecutively, the little Henderson. And somehow, Eddie himself.

By the time the sun starts setting, he’s gained some valuable culinary knowledge, including the fact that as a cook, he gets to taste the dishes all the time. His growing boy tummy is satiated with a stolen strip of bacon and one of the test fritters he’s munching on, when they hear the door unlock.

“I’m home!” a woman’s voice calls out. Eddie freezes.

“We’re just finishing dinner!” Steve calls back while the man next to him shrinks on himself, looking up at him and wondering why he isn’t being pushed into a closet like a secret paramour. 

“Your mom is here?!” he seethes through his teeth, eyes jumping from Steve to the door. 

“Well, yeah?” Steve raises an eyebrow. “She lives here?” 

“But why am I here?!”

Was Steve this stupid or did he not grasp the severity of the situation?

“You’re cooking? Staying for dinner? Studying? The fuck do you mean man?” he answers, more or less matching his volume.

“Mothers hate me!” Eddie reminds him helpfully, making Steve only roll his eyes with a huff.

“Claudia likes you.”

“She never saw me,” he reminds him. Because as soon as any of the suburban moms caught a whiff of his metal vest, his dark clothes and long hair, he felt disgusted eyes on his back. 

And when the Satanist drug dealer rumours reach them? Things only get worse. 

“Dude-”

“Oh, hi boys!” A tired-looking blond woman enters the kitchen. Her smile doesn’t waver despite Eddie’s presence, meaning she must have seen some shit in her life. “You didn’t tell me we’ll have a guest today.”

Steve steps in before he can put his foot in his mouth, laying his big warm hand on his shoulder. 

“Eddie finished his work early and wanted to help in the kitchen. Hope that’s alright.”

At the mere thought it wouldn’t be, Eddie’s stomach twisted. 

“Of course! The more, the merrier!” Claudia smiled, still seemingly genuine, before stepping closer and extending her hand.

“Nice to finally meet you, Eddie. I’ve heard a lot about you from my boys.”

Steve’s hand is still on him squeezing minutely to remind him to shake Claudia’s hand.

“Likewise.” He smiles to his best ability, unable to remember the last time he was friendly with someone's parents. Except Gareth's, maybe.

“What did boys make?” she asks, sniffing the air and trying to peek over his shoulder.

“Tomato soup, like you asked, and some fritters.”

“With veggies, I hope?” She squints at her oldest (newest?) son.

“There’s corn in them, and we made a tomato sauce.” He smiled brightly and Eddie could tell he was happy to play the good kid role. 

“Good. I’m gonna change and get back to you,” she says before disappearing upstairs, probably to harass the younger Henderson now. 

“Why was she so nice?” Eddie muses, half to Steve, half to himself, half to the universe in general. Wait, that's three halves. Well, he didn’t fail school because of his great math skills.

“She's always nice.” Steve steps away to work on the next batch of fritters.

“Not to me! Mothers hate me! I bet she’s just pretending but as soon as I disappear, you're gonna hear all about it!”

“Hey!” Steve turns back towards him, frowning. And uh-oh, he upset him again. On his reverse-upset mission. “Claudia’s not some uptight bitch like that. She likes all our friends and you're not an exception. Just because you dress differently isn’t gonna ban you from the house or get us in trouble.” He knocks him on the head for good measure. “You’re safe here.”

“Okay,” Eddie simply says, taken aback. Being welcomed somewhere was a feeling he still had to process.

“We're safe here,” was a soft addition he almost missed over his own loud thoughts but made him even more curious about Steve himself. 

User tags: @i-have-three-feelings @mblogs @awkwardgravity1 @imacowboy3 @just-a-tiny-void @clumsiluni @shotgunhallelujah @halfadoginatank @carlprocastinator1000 @irregular-child

[sil3ntfr34k]

ReaderxP3 if you write for him? Sfw or nsfw, both rule.

(I’m gonna assume that the last person also wanted me to change this one into p4 too soooo-)

(Also I had this planned eventually so this just reminded me ehehe)

‼️Minors DNI it’s Adult™️ time‼️

Postal 4 Dude NSFW headcanons

He’s old and sloppy you can’t change this. He’s been wearing the same old outfit for months straight, don’t expect TOO much from him

Luckily for his showcase ‘muscles’, he looks pretty good when he’s naked. Toned body with an ever so slight beer belly, but it somehow adds to his whole aesthetic

I imagine his dick is pretty average. About 5 inches when he’s hard, 3 when he’s soft and an average amount of girth. His balls are pretty big tho so at least he’s got that goin for him

Pretty good prep tbh. For fem aligned folk he’s kinda gentle and soft, letting his hands slowly run up and down your body before he keeps one behind your head to make his kiss more passionate

While for more masc aligned folk he’s a bit more rough, probably pulling you in with hard hands on your hips and pulling your hair back to get a better look at your face. Being around more manly people makes him feel manlier too, so he’s thinks he’s gotta act tough and all

Loves passionate sex. The heavy breathing, the grunting, the slaps of skin, the sweet dirty talk, he LIVES for it. If you keep kissing him during sex, he’ll cum gallons

Probably hates to pull out. Dude so desperately wants to feel you around him like this all the time, so much so he throws a little hissy fit when you make him pull out. Dude isn’t very smart when it comes to his own greater good, so for all you womb havers, you better make sure to pull him out yourself before he cums

Dude has an oral fixation as well (most dudes do). All you have to do is take off your panties/boxers and spread your legs for him to instantly dive between them and start licking/sucking. He doesn’t like to swallow tho, can’t stand the taste of cum smh

His favorite position is probably the mating press. There’s nothing Dude loves more than plowing into you as hard as he can so he can hear you moan. Not only does he get to fuck you mercilessly in this position, he also gets to see your face the entire time. (Yes he does try to make you cry sometimes)

Please wake Dude up with a blowjob, he will do anything for you for the rest of the day. Blowjobs in general are easily one of Dudes favorite jobs to have. Definitely jokes about it too. “Dude, I’m hungryyyyy what do we have to eat?” “You can eat my dic-“

Enjoys light BDSM. Spanking, slapping, and light bondage gets him goin good. Also blindfolds, adds to the excitement

Makes a lot of noise, on purpose. Dude knows you like his noises, at least he’s convinced himself you do, so he will not stop the constant groaning and grunting.

The way he lets you know he’s horny is by being extra loving. Hugs you from behind, kisses your neck, has his hands placed firmly on your hips and is slightly grinding into your ass, grunting

(That’s all I can think of rn idk I’m tired and outside pls give me my blanket)

[coryosmin]

how would the hg boys and girls comfort you

warning: reference to sex

new character has been added teehee giggle giggle

coriolanus - OKAY SO, this could go in multiple directions. first and foremost, coryo would likely comfort you by holding your hand and listening to you talk to him. he would massage your knuckles as his blue eyes are looking at you. secondly, he would also try to comfort you with sex because he’s not always sure on what exactly you need in terms of comfort. he’s just an awkward dude that isn’t very in tune with emotions.

tigris (heehee) - this queen. okay so i love her. now that that’s out of the way, she would hug you and reassure you. she would make sure you’re okay, listen to you intently and give you such words of comfort. she’ll make sure you feel better by talking about something that will make you laugh. she’s actually so fabulous

sejanus - he would be the master at comforting. he and finnick anyways. sejanus would hug you so tight. not in a bone crushing way but in a way that like is so comforting? idk. when i’m upset and get hugged very tightly it helps. anyways, he would give you kisses on your face, telling you how much you mean to him and such. he would comfort you so good!! he would also make you some treats.

finnick - he would talk to you first. let you vent to him and everything. he would listen to you intently, nodding his head. and when you finished, he would hug you and hold you close to him. finnick is so cute too because he’ll whisper in your ear about how good you are and how you’re doing so well and that he is proud of you. ugh i love him.

peeta - i think he’s such a gift giver so he would comfort you by making you something warm like some brownies. because all problems can be resolved with sugar, right? he would also cuddle you and hold you close to him.

johanna - her form of comforting is slightly aggressive. she will listen to you no matter what and be there for you. but if you mention someone has been upsetting you, she will go “who do i have to kill?” while also being supportive of you. she would say things like “bitch don’t listen to them. you’re doing great.” and then she would give you a hug and a kiss like “fuck them up babe.” to hype you up. she’s great.

katniss - katniss isn’t the greater with comforting. i think she would be a really good listener but she wouldn’t know exactly what to do. she’s quite awkward with it. but she’ll hug you and hold you close to her.

[trustross2]

Thinking more (spoilers for dungeon meshi manga).

Fuck, what a literally perfect execution of a “devil” in fiction. Like I thoroughly enjoyed the way Kui played with western fantasy tropes in order to ground them in reality and make them ecologically feasible. Stuff like the dragons using everything they can’t digest as food, or the succubi functioning as mosquitos. Plus the Monty python rabbit bit caught me way off guard in the best way!

But MAN, the demon were just *chefs kiss*. I play a lot of dnd, and absolutely adore monsters that can play with the mind of a player. Yeah sure a big demon getting summoned can hurt a lot of people, but the mind games you that are played when you are dealing with these hyper intelligent, hyper persuasive types of devils who desire something less gruesome, but more horrific than just endless blood and death.

A few things that I loved in the character of the winged lion. First is that it had contingencies out the ass, it had a contingency for when it first got sealed by thistle. It initially set its eyes on laios and began to worm into his mind, setting the seeds for a greater desire than to just save his sister, which wouldn’t help the demon much. Then, noticing this weak link in marcille, it decided to invest a bit of time in exploring that option too. Then even when that FAILs the demon is like “actually laios you were who I wanted all long!” Like this dude had PLANS, and that’s exactly how a hyper intelligent, essentially immortal, ageless creature has to function.

I also enjoyed the sheer amount of gaslighting homeboy did, alongside the other indirect methods of harming the dungeon master. It’s not too dissimilar to the parasites, but on one’s mind, overwhelming it with knowledge IT can handle, but KNOWS you can’t. Toying with its victims sense of truth, attempting to distort every fact around it to make IT seems like the most reasonable, well meaning one. And to a certain extent it IS until it eats you.

And probably the most important lie is that it can’t harm you or control you, which it can’t literally. But it is a hyper-dimensional creature older than time and you are a regular guy. So believing that is stupid! Especially when you consider its ability to eat Desires, simultaneously it’s raison d’être but one of its most powerful abilities. The way it can make you forget essentially anything it doesn’t want you to remember. A force so powerful that ability is it’s undoing in the end.

All this to say that the manga is really fuckin good honestly. It’s funny that I ran a similar creature in dnd recently, but I’m gonna be remembering this next time I do. Because probably the most clever thing that I wanna steal is how it pretends to be a good thing, setting up the slaying of ITS obstacles as good and righteous.

[mikeellee]

So @bibibbon talked about the chapter and was thinking in sit this one down but...nah, I want to say how...this chapter is another proof this is not a story where Izu will be the biggest hero, but the biggest martyr if he is lucky.

The fact Izu is now quirkless and lost an arm is...gross. really gross. I talked to @doodlegirl1998 how the trope people created in fics where "Izu loses his arm ain't cool?" Is really not cool. He loses an army for shocking value and gains nothing. Edward Elric wants to revive his mother and then save his bother...he lost his power but got something greater in return...and people think Izu and Edward's cases are the same. Not even in fics make similar.

@palesweetscherryblossom Izu lost his arm and quirk to save a lunatic. The fandom is weeping about Tenko's friends "he was so good" cricket noises to Izu as in chapter 1 we saw him doing the whole "helping misfit" but no misfit helped him.

Now .... something some people may not agree. Dfo! No. I dont think it will be canon nor I want to be. Afo has show he doesn't care for Izu (guys Inko already suck as mother...do we need to give this to Izu? What would help? I even think he wants to die now "don't have anything outside for me now")

We saw afo on a "date" with Kotaro and people may think this will lead to dfo. I think it will lead to afo being a creepy. Dude is doing everything to ruin Nana's family for....reasons we don't know. (If Nana was a man...would he have done this extreme? Not calling afo a sexist but if she was a man would the narrative treat the situation the same? Maybe, maybe not)

Afo is alive and well...inside Shig's world. We will see this asshole be his cringe self and ...Izu won't matter. We are seeing more of this joke now...afo walking around and talking to people is supposed to be scary "oooh the demon is among us" and if the writing was good this could have been a great twist....it's MHA. Afo was ausent in the story and is now a pitiful plot device.

A theory I saw...is how Yoichi may be the biggest hero and...sacrifice himself to end afo. So in a way, ending afo and ofa forever. Why he never did this before? Who cares? But this theory is still too optimist.

Izu and shig's memories don't really matter. It's an artificial way to make them seem as if they had a great relationship, they don't. Also ....have we saw any memory that matter for Izu? He has any good memory?

But yeah...afo gave shig decay...somehow. bc why not? You know, if Izu doesn't die...I do hope Eri rewind him so his arm is back.

Not sure if I'm making sense...it's just MHA is a big nothing and at the same time "fuck you Izu. Be silent" and his only theory is ...that fandom clings for some reason is "izu is the son of afo" and for what? What this would change? Afo calls Izu useless...he doesn't like him nor show any paternal love...guys, look how he treats Shig...why he would be a dad or want to be one?

I think next chapter....we will see afo's past again...more of the parasite. Seeing him planning how to ruin the Shimuras (the Shimuras as the newest chewing toy) and laughing maniacally. Why all that? Bc fuck you Nana.

Also.....Izu saw MONCHAN and Hana die. Great. He has no idea who they are but ...he saw they dying.

[sapphic-agent]

Ooh, we're talking about Rei? Alright, here we go!

The Todoroki family arc WAS one of the greater aspects of MHA. Keyword: was. It was great until Horikoshi decides to redeem Endeavor. The same man who practically bought his wife. The same man who neglected his three other children, Fuyumi was parentified, neglected Toya and Natso, Toya had constant breaks of his neglect, made a 5-year-old Shoto THROW UP from training so hard, physically and emotionally abused the shit out of his wife where she was on the verge of a mental breakdown everyday. Like, it's so disgusting, honestly. It's a slap in the fact to all of their trauma. Like Endeavor had YEARS to change, but randomly wants to change??? Like dude gave zero shits that Toya "DIED" via from his mental breakdown of his flames and carried on like nothing fucking happened. Also, I just wanna say people who also villainize Fuyumi can also get a big fuck you. Fuyumi just wanted a normal ass family and pushed all of her feelings in her traditional, sexist household. People react to trauma in different ways. Sure, Fuyumi doesn't always handle things the greatest, but the girl was made to look over her siblings at a young ass age. The problem with redeeming Endeavor is that, there's just somethings you can't say sorry for or fucking atone for. Buying your wife, neglecting all three of your kids, physically abusing your youngest son, physically and emotionally abusing your wife then locking her away from her children for 10 years is just not grounds to redeem someone. I thought MHA was good because Shoto saying fuck you to his dad and not forgiving was so refreshing but then paints Natsuo as the bad guy for not forgiving him, and having Shoto consider forgiving his father within one FUCKING YEAR after YEARS of abuse is just baffling to me. Ik Horikoshi is shit on writing women, but, I want to know what Rei is like outside of her dynamic of being a mom. I wanna know what her true personality is, because her abuse doesn't define her. I wanna also know more about Fuyumi because it's clear to me her parentification even carried over into adult, and even with her teaching elementary kids. Fuyumi also deserves to be pissed off at Endeavor. Shoto, Natsuo, and Dabi have shown them being PISSED at Endeavor, and they have EVERY right to. I just wanna see Fuyumi growing out of her parentification Endeavor clearly put her through.

fuck endeavor and his big toe looking ass People can change, yes. But not abusers who do the most godawful things to their family and don't atone for it. Fuck Endeavor.

Well said, anon👏🏾

I agree that the Todoroki past was a really good aspect of the MHA world before they redeemed Endeavor. It was a great aspect of world-building and it was refreshing seeing a character that wasn't begging for their abusive parent's love or acceptance. Then, 4/5 of his victims decided to rally around him and support him for the mess he created...

Why.

I'm actually really glad you brought up Fuyumi because I agree. She wasn't only neglected, she was parentified. And this wasn't something that happened when Touya died or Rei was committed, via the Touya flashback her parentification started at least around the time Natsu was born. She wants a normal family because it's the only way she knows how to cope with that childhood trauma (yes, parentification is traumatic). Yes, she doesn't go about it in a great way but we need to stop expecting victims to react perfectly. Nastu and Shoto made the choice to play nice to make her happy, she didn't force or demand them to.

Fuyumi, overall, deserves more agency. It would have been great for both her and Rei to be something outside of their trauma and supporting their abuser. They also deserve to be angry.

(I've noticed that Hori doesn't really make women in his story angry. I mean, Mirko sometimes but that's more her gag than anything. They all either cry or when they're being "strong" he just gives them this face 😐 (I'm not exaggerating: Rei, Momo, Inko, Uraraka, etc.) I mean, I don't expect a shonen mamgaka to know how to write feminine rage well, but MHA is just pathetic when it comes to this)

Hori got me fucked up for the way he treats Natsu. He's the only one able to see last the trauma/abuse (probably because he was the most removed from it) to be able to make healthy choices and create boundaries. Yet Hori over here wants to paint him in a negative light for calling out Endeavor repeatedly. It's the same thing with people who criticize Bakugou; they're made out to be in the wrong (Monoma, the pros, the journalists, etc.) even though what they're saying is completely valid.

I would also like to point out that Endeavor only changed once he got what he wanted. Not when his son died because of him. If he was going to really change, don't you think it should have been when his actions resulted in dire consequences?

[morathicain]

Okay, so ep 10 of Be My Favourite has left me ... frustrated? Talked a lot to my friend @ommited-miscellaneously about the way Kawi’s character seems to have switched and how uncomfortable the dynamic between them was and how weird some decisions were (like the mom, like ?????????). Is he ace coded? After some consideration, I doubt it. I rather like the theory (of @shouldiusemyname ) of him being an observer who isn’t used to be an active participant but also going in blind.

But regardless if it’s one of the two or the good old “one of them needs to be pushy and the other needs to play coy to the point of seeming repulsed”, it was done badly in my opinion. Like, a lot of people seem to think them sleeping together in the end was romantic and a sign of Kawi realising he actually likes to do all of that with Pisaeng, but it made me highly uncomfortable. Pisaeng had been trying to get any sign of affection from his boyfriend this last episode and Kawi has reacted repulsed to the smallest touches. Could it have been the nerves? Sure, but it’s still not a cool move, dude. Did his avoidance of actually telling Pisaeng what had been bothering him and instead saying he “ENJOYED” himself this day despite clearly been aggressive and rejective the whole day sit wrong with me? Definitely. Like, sorry, but this treats Pisaeng as if he’s dumb and can’t see when someone actually has a bad time? There was a chance for communication and it wasn’t used at all. Instead, they instantly jump to the sex!!

Which was the next ... uncomfortable thing. Like, they haven’t had a sober kiss yet. And Kawi clearly doesn’t feel ready. Why the fuck, do they need to jump to sex instantly, without proper communication, when they haven’t even had a sober kiss? Why couldn’t they have a talk so Pisaeng understands and they then can proceed to like ... watch a movie and cuddle, hold hands and share a first tentative kiss? This felt so rushed and I’d only accept it if it’s going to explode into their faces next episode.

Also, I was getting BohnDuen flashbacks. Of course, Kawi isn’t as bad as Duen, but the way he treats Pisaeng’s simple wish to spend time with his boyfriend and thinks Pisaeng wants to jump him all the time, wasn’t sitting right with me. Most of the episode he was an outright asshole to him while Pisaeng was so desperately pushy. Yes, the nerves but DAMN, that’s what the offer for communication at the end has been for! Like, I can accept a lot of reasons for him being overwhelmed but it still stands that Kawi didn’t use the chance to communicate his struggles and he should have grown enough as a person till now to use that. And if he doesn’t, on purpose, then this show suddenly gets deeper and less wholesome and light than it was during the past episodes. And to me, it rather felt like a checkmark.

Somehow, this kiss felt also less natural and comfortable as the two drunk kisses they have shared before. Yes, the nerves, but I’d argue that the circumstances made it feel different. In those two kisses before we’ve seen Kawi communicate a clear need and wish to be close to Pisaeng and initiate the kisses (hell, him being unable not to play with Pisaeng’s hair in the first one was adorable AF and exactly the vibe I would have wished for their first time - let me see that he enjoys it!) and nothing of that need or his crush on Pisaeng has been shown in this episode?

We know that Pisaeng has been going to the future, too, we just don’t know since when and how often and what he’s learned. But if they need to constantly travel through time and their relationship STILL raises my hackles like that ... maybe they shouldn’t be together at all? Really, this episode it sometimes felt as if Kawi isn’t really interested in a romantic relationship with Pisaeng at all or that he never thought beyond “getting together for the greater good”. It leaves me baffled after all those episodes before which were well done and a lot of fun and I wonder if something changed/if the problems were here all along/if the writers actually have a magic trick up their sleeves that will make it all make sense and be good????

So yeah, my thoughts on this are complicated and I’ve spend a good portion of last night trying to put my finger on why both of their behaviour felt so wrong to me (yes, Pisaeng’s, too - it felt almost mindlessly pushy???). In the end we have to wait and see ^^°

As an extra, things that would have made it better in MY opinion: 

more time between Pisaeng confessing and Kawi realising his own feelings, maybe with Pisaeng actually exploring his sexuality more and having boyfriends (he’d know better what he wants and Kawi could maybe observe what a relationship with Pisaeng might look like and also what he wants from his relationship with Pisaeng?)

them having an actual talk about what they want and need and their fears

them NOT jumping to sex instantly but also NOT avoiding any other form of intimacy (and IF Kawi has intimacy issues then PLEASE talk about that!)

have Kawi initiate cute moments in between too, let us see his need to be close to Pisaeng and be supportive (and not only have him promise it in a call with Pisaeng’s horrible mom - no I won’t forgive her being homophobic and distant 99% of the show just to have a last second switch) despite being a bit overwhelmed and nervous

Have Pisaeng NOT pretend as if he’s had a horrible fight with his mom to come and be with Kawi, this was stupid and not in character all along, wtf guys?

Have them break up and I mean this seriously - I was so uncomfortable during this episode and the fact that they didn’t properly talk made me think that if this goes on (or would go on irl because the show might just behave as if everything is fine next episode) they are doomed. If they don’t find a way to properly communicate their needs and limits, they’ll get stuck in the worst relationship, thinking this is the only way to make sure the world is happy? Thanks, I hate it.

Anyway, I wrote a quick breakup scene here and will now wait and see what next week brings. It might be the build up for the angst in episode 11 as always but I currently have a hard time believing that they’ll handle the topic properly and well enough for me to want them still together in the end (pls prove me wrong pls prove me wrong pls prove me wrong) and that would be a damn shame because the show has been fun and cute so far. But we’ll see ...

So far thank you @ everyone who read till now. No hate please, this is MY opinion and you can have another. I’d rather be convinced that my view is too unjust but I’ll only accept friendly discussions. Rude comments will be blocked. Thank you! <3

[salora-rainriver]

*taps mic*

The thing about meditation is that it’s never just meditation,

(Hey- You there! Peeps with ADHD who are sick of being told to meditate! This is for you! This is about that frustration and the problem with that advice!)

There’s hundreds of spiritual meditation traditions in the world, and thousands of ways in which you (yes, you) could hypothetically begin to meditate.

Meditation isn’t one thing. It��s not sitting in lotus pose 🧘‍♀️ and emptying your mind.

Meditation can be done sitting in a chair, kneeling on the floor, laying in bed, standing, walking, even dancing! (please look up whirling dervishes)

Meditation also isn’t done for just one thing. It can be done to pursue inner peace, focus your mind, leave your mind, gain greater awareness of the outer world or the inner world, and even attain a higher level of spirituality (whatever that means for you / your religion).

“Mindful” meditation is done to exercise self-awareness and reduce stress.

Christian mystics meditate in the pursuit of understanding God.

Zazen is practiced as part of the daily traditions of a monastery, a mandated period of rest after a long day of spiritual and physical labor.

Often, people will “try meditation” AKA walk into a Mindfulness guided meditation, be told to focus on their breathing and let their worries go,

Then get frustrated because the Thoughts keep coming faster than they can push them away. And then they walk away deciding this isn’t for them.

Just so we’re all clear: no. You’re not supposed to push the thoughts away.

You’re supposed to notice the thought is there, take note of it, and then let it go.

Trying to push thoughts away just creates a “don’t think of pink elephants” situation, where thinking about not thinking about it makes you think about it more.

Hey, dude with ADHD, thanks for sticking with me. I’m sure i don’t need to tell you how annoying it is to hear “you should meditate” and then you’re stuck there going “but I cant just sit down and Relax for an hour bro” and then they straight up don’t believe you.

Yeah what if we had a deeper understanding of what meditation was and someone said “you know if you feel like you can’t sit still, maybe going for a walk and Focusing on the sound of your footsteps might do something”?

Does that maybe sound a bit more appealing?

Or maybe before you go to bed, you put on some music or the sounds of rain, and let it carry your thoughts somewhere peaceful and dreamlike as you Listen Closely?

Maybe you could dance? Or chant? Sing, even?

Run your fingers over some object and ruminate on its texture?

Meditation is a huge and diverse array of practices. The only thing they all have in common is that you enter some sort of peaceful trance as you do it.

However the hell you get there.

So yeah, I think people should be specific before they suggest “meditation” to someone.

Cause I know for a fact that sitting in an uncomfortable pose and doing Nothing for an hour won’t fix me,

but I sure as fuck Feel Something when I go Deep Listening to the sound of cicadas in a forest while Twin Peaks synth hums a mysterious drone over the misty scene. Or yanno, whatever the fuck sounds I’m feeling like at the moment.

Also, walking in nature feels good. I could go for a walk every so often.

Hey y’all, it’s springtime in the northern hemisphere right now. you might find some flowers if you go walking!

Edit:

“writing a thingy about meditation for adhd folks but also making it a massive wall of text is very gabycore xD”

Added page breaks and formatting and also some colorcoding. Hope that helps with readability. I have The Tisms, ok?

[mc-adarsh]

JOURNEY OF SELF DISCOVERY - update 3 / week 1

Getting more eager to not become a social recluse and the beach's resident angry man, Adarsh tries to spend less time in his head and more trying to be... nice? Regardless, the whole power thing is not working in his favourite because he's still in the shrinking camp of no-fucking-clue-what-powers.

goals

one goal finished: lucy knew the language I'm speaking is malayalam, from a region called kerala in india. so i am at least 90% certain now that i am from that region and that this is my language.

shoes and haircut will continue to have to wait.

still have not made it to the ship.

i am ashamed to write down that it is becoming more clear that something makes me want to fight people, not always physically.

findings

i suspected i was straight, but an interaction with this faux-famous guy has forced me to reconsider that, i am not sure i want to reconsider that.

i know english, hindi, gujarati, telugu, french, spanish, and malayalam.

after a long conversation with darcy, i feel there is a bigger posibility that maybe i am part of some greater plan, that or i am an accident.

the idea that this is not just temporary fills me with some odd kind of dread.

i am definitely very vain, if i do not find myself someone to cut my hair soon i will probably shave it off.

i hate being helped but i do not mind helping others.

pretty sure i was homeless before i got to the island so at least the bungalow and free food are a step up.

i like being taught new languages and new words.

i wonder if the amount of times i think about sex is healthy or not.

people

advice lady: told me that it is okay that i do not think i can help anyone but did offer to help me. i feel humbled. in a bad way.

famous guy: i think i was about five seconds away from kissing him, and i do not know how to feel about that. instead i punched him, so it is not like i stand a chance to figure it out.

darcy: i think we are friends?

elijah: very mentor-ly, seems to be chipper and at the same time very nice... i feel like i have been enchanted in a single conversation and can not think of anything bad.

doctor lady: bossy. i like that, i do not know why and at this point i do not want to know.

lindiwe: can see auras. called me beautiful. i am very confused.

lucy: i think she is into me but i also might be reading into this.

apollo: has a strange dress code.

luke: appreciates good food. this is a plus.

nina: i think she is looking for a partner in crime but i fear going with her will get me killed, how to proceed?

advice dude: may have killed him.

[queenoftsage]

Just a rant...

...... it took me too long to gather only those few dollars, and you stole them. You did that. You stole from a person who has a hard time, OFTEN, getting even $15 into their bank account. Took me a total of one week to gather that much money, and you stole it.

I mean, I get it, you want to give the finger to capitalism by stealing money from the rich, but my dear fucking fuckity fuck person, I am not it. I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination. As a matter of fact, I'm going to have to curse you forever and ever.

You have fucked with the wrong person. As I said, it took me a whole ass week to gather that much money. Lately I've been having a really hard time making money or finding a job as it were, and having you steal that little bit of money makes me so angry.

Like dude... or woman, or whatever you identify as, STEALING FROM THE POOR to ... do what? get a PRIME membership on AMAZON? Like? huh?

I don't even have prime. Hell, I haven't even shopped at Amazon this whole ass year. Like... dafuq? Had I not been working hard to gather that little bit of money, you would have made my bank account BOUNCE, and I would have had to have dealt with an overdraft. Now I have to deal with fraud and theft and I'm gonna have to do the whole dispute thing, and probably shut down that card altogether.

... Also, I'll probably never get those $15 back. Could have gone for my personal things that are a bit expensive, you know? Like shampoo, soap, feminine wipes, that kind of stuff, which is what I buy so that I don't have to ask for money to get it from the people I live with. tsk.

I mean, how did you even get a hold of my card? Was it a random ass number you hacked into? It'd be great if hackers like you would use their talents for greater things, than hacking into regular ass peoples' accounts. Much less accounts like mine where it takes me weeks to even get $15 to $20.... *shakes head*

You have been HEXED and VEXXED. From now on, your life will get worse. Congratulations. You have fucked with me. That's fucking with me. Also, I will make sure that your PRIME subscription never works. I have already made arrangements, with my card as well. Took it off. Let's see how you're going to pay for that now.

*clicks to put curse into place* Good Bye.

[ddeongies]

this ended up being way longer than i expected (again) LOL

to start off, i love how they're in this gray area of managing to pick up on each others hints but still not fully on each other's level with things, like there's still a few (really important) things they need to iron out ---relationship status, what they both want out of this, etc. basics really. but they're also at a point where i'd call it inevitable. but at the same time AGH omg. a lovely level of frustration. ryujin thinking the posts yeji made weren't for her....i need to smack her omg.

one thing i really really love about the way you write them (in all your works but i feel its to a greater extent in nmau because it has more time to actually dig in to these things given that its a slowburn) is just this overarching relationship dynamic where all ryujin has to do is say "yes" and yeji will meet her as far as she's willing to let her... which ofc is not to say that there's no effort on ryujin's part, but ive noticed that ryujin tends to be the one that requires more...coaxing so to speak, when you're writing longer stories about them getting together. and i love this! i think it's a very good bit of characterization (for both of them) and it's not exactly the same over all of your works which just makes me love to see it even more than i already do.

the way yeji "places the ball in ryujins court" as you put it, just really hammers it in, the way that yeji will implicitly say "ok, im here, whenever you're ready". it's in the way she stops as soon as ryujin is uncomfortable when they were kissing the first time, in the way she watches and waits for ryujin to come to the bed, these little bits of opening the door but not forcing ryujin into a decision she might not be ready to make. ugh ITS SO GOOD. + like on top of that i think you write yeji in a way where its obvious like.. even though she literally would give ryujin the world if she asked for it, she still will make sure that she herself is feeling okay about everything and that by doing it she's not totally ignoring her own emotional needs + all that. if that makes sense, i feel like the way im phrasing this makes rj seem really passive but THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN u know what i mean, right. like it definitely goes both ways but. yeah. i saw it a lot in balcony au and choreo au as well, just got me thinking a bit. anyway,

some misc stuff from the rest of the chapter:

really great to see how ryujin felt about the events of winter break, i really love ur split povs, u balance each character voice so well.

i love ryujin and yunas friendship in this, i don't think ive mentioned that before but its really good

hwang "fire react" yeji..............

she thinks she's so sneaky, getting yejis number and asking her to model for her sjwhdkfjfk GIRL. and yeji 😭 "oh, youre really gonna..." LMAO

the tension in that whole scene.....delicious omg.....like its hot and heavy and so palpable like you can actually feel how hot it is through the screen. its so good.

they did it! and it only took them 11 chapters wow. i honestly like how this was a bit more on the emotional side rather than outright explicit fucking which like! is still great dont get me wrong, but i think it's very fitting for this particular instance.

"come here, beautiful" i feel normal about this!

yeji getting locked out 😔😔😔 shes so silly. but god ryujins reaction to waking up alone....dude....u gotta talk to yeji abt whwt u want out of this.....

rj talking about how she "cant have yeji the way she wants" DUDE. GET A GRIPPPPP SJES HEAD OVER HEELS FOR U.

this honestly felt very... sequel to the movie couch moment when ryu let her shirt "slip" off her shoulder, only this time they've both somewhat acknowledged the huge mess of attraction between them and so something can actually happen instead of both parties left unsatisfied. i love it i love character and relationship development.

"no, keep going" "im sure" are we even still talking about figure drawing...

yeji ordering basically just chocolate milk...i love her so bad

"sure yeji can be kind of goofy but its charming" u are so....sureee...u just keep telling urself ur not obsessed with her.

yejis focus face…dont get me started...lets just say if she looked at me like that. i would no longer exist.

shoving each other🥹🥹 like i really love how uve written them as "friends first" so to speak, like theyve made a really solid foundation for this budding relationship(if you can call it that yet LOL, ill let them have it though). its so great...its so great...and yeji walking ryu all the way back to her dorm ohhhhh....overall.

very good chapter as always.... definitely looking forward to the next one!! whenever that may be, lol. that and other projects u may be cooking alongside it...thanks as always and take care!

-🖤

long comments like this make me 😈 i’m so ready (i’ll go under a read more tho lol)

i honestly love the point they’re at right now too! they’re somehow on exactly the same page in a way that makes them not be on the same page LOL. like you feel the same way about each other and are assuming the same thing about each other’s feelings!! it is inevitable though isn’t it? someone’s just gotta be a little brave :)

yes yes yes i know what you mean!!! i’m so glad you’ve picked up on and appreciate the way i do the relationship and the characterization there (and that it’s working in general!) you put it really well like, yeji (irl and when i write her) is such a freaking observant person. like you can see the way she watches people, sees when people are uncomfortable, etc. ryu is such an internal and sensitive person and a deep thinker and feeler, and i just love the way those two ways of being match up like “i know how i feel, and i see that you’re figuring yourself out in that way you do, so i’m here for you and i’m gonna be steady through your process” or something idk i’m rambling. but yes! yeji will still protect herself and her own feelings. like, yes, she’s not 100% doing that in feeling that ryu doesn’t want what she wants, but i think part of her can feel the way they really are on the same page (and that ryu would never want to hurt her)

misc stuff!

i love writing this story split pov! when i first came up with  the idea i realized there was no way i could tell the story i wanted to from just one pov. i love having them reflect back on previous chapters but also not on every single thing that happened just the stuff they would naturally be thinking about when we’re back in their heads

i love 2shin…. i love writing hwangshin and 2shin in the same fic my loves

the 🔥 is so important to yeji you have no idea (or maybe you do at this point)

the “oh, you’re really gonna…” like she was right to assume what she was being invited for but still LMAO

i love writing tension…..i love it

just took them like 50k but they finally made it we cheered 🥳 and yeah! i really want this fic to stay M rated i think it just fits the vibes better than E (the next scene might be a liiiil more smutty but still they are Pure)

ryu feels normal about it too and so do i yeji is so 😵‍💫

yeji would get locked out LOL (and yeah ryu pls get a grip girl she likes you so so bad and has for months)

yes!! a similar situation (with the same mastermind), but they’ve honestly come so far since then like they’re truly in a different phase of their relationship now :’) it opens so many doors for them

we’re not not talking about figure drawing ;)

yeji’s sweet tooth is so so dear to me (and chocolate milk is also a great pre workout drink for our little jock)

ryu is genuinely obsessed with her they’re gross! and they will get grosser!

yeji’s focused face is….. let me not speak actually

they’re CUTE they’re friends but also a lil more than friends but also who knows and i honestly love it for them! like no matter what there’s no way they would ever just have a physical relationship when they like each other this much even if neither of them is ready to fully make that leap yet

thank you for such a long and lovely comment as always!! made my day/week/idk how time works anymore is it finally friday thank god

[lexpressobean]

Shino was a good student and is also considered a good Shinobi in general, but it's because he was essentially Brainwashed to a greater extent than the rest of the Konoha 13, second only to Sai. And that's probably super obvious but Imma talk about it anyway, take a peak if you'd like lol

It's the same reason why Choji was originally one of the worst students and as he got older and more experienced, still wasn't up to speed like some of the others in general, allegedly. Shino and Choji both come from Noble Clans, and by the time they're both 17, have a great amount of skill in their own way. And sure, Asuma as a Sensei was noted to complain a lot about Choji, but I think its at least partly because Choji was not brainwashed by the school to a great enough extent. And his obviously loving parents and fellow Akimichi Clan Members certainly did not try to remedy that either. It doesn't show in his character like it does for Shino and the Aburame. Neji is considered a great Shinobi, even better than Shino by Rank. And he was RIGHTFULLY angry, but dude had such a warped sense of his own worth and existence due to his Dad being put to death because of the Situation, being a literal slave, and then finding out his Dad willingly chose to die instead of fighting for his life??? Neji was considered a Noble but he was treated cruelly and spiritually beaten down by his own family to become the Shinobi he was. School probably just gave him some desperately needed structure.

Like, Shino comes from an obviously powerful clan, yet even so, Shibi as the Head of that clan was powerless to keep Torune from being taken by Danzo. And Shino might have witnessed all of that as a young child, but he likely understood most of what happened very well. So how were Shibi and the rest of the Aburame Clan going to justify such a thing? The only way to explain it to Shino and keep him from looking for Torune and causing trouble along the way would be to make Shino think of Torune's selection and following abduction as a Good Thing. It was an Honor for Danzo to come to the Aburame, and Torune acted like a True Shinobi, a prime example of what it means to be Loyal to and Love the Village. And the fact that Shino was originally the one chosen to go doesn't mean Shino wasn't good enough in the end. This all just has to be kept as secret as possible, and Shino is already a student at the Academy. This is so that Enemy Ninja don't find out so easily. But they all know, and will always know. So Shino should not cry or fret. Shino is just as much Devoted to the Village as Torune, right? Torune wanted to do this, so Shono should not disparage his choices with tears and sadness...

... Framing it as an especially good thing would have to have been the only way to pacify an otherwise complely terrified and hugely upset Shino. And the only way to cope with what happened would be to believe it was a good thing, to believe all that bullshit everyone else told him. And Shino really would. It would always feel bad, and the trauma would still affect him in a variety of ways. The survivor's guilt. The feelings of inadequacy caused by Danzo's choice to reconsider Torune instead, which spared Shino instead of Torune. The new knowledge that some people in the village are so strong that just their words could make Shibi visibly panic. Knowing Danzo could always come back if he wanted to. But still, it's all worth it, because it was a Good Thing. Shino tries to, and really just has to actively deal with all that... at least until he gets older. And starts to use his developed critical thinking skills to question Konoha's inner workings and politics, especially after Naruto's supposed influence. He'd soon realize how fucked up it all really was with a clearer and more human and personal view on things. He might try talking to Shibi about it, but Shibi wouldn't give him the chance. Shibi doesn't want to even think about it. But at that point, Shino could easily piece together what a dilemma it really was for his father. There was no solution, only two bad options his father would have had to live with...

Torune wasn't loyal to the Village. He didn't love the Village. Torune was loyal to Shibi for treating him like a son, and he loved Shino like a little brother. That's why he did what he did...

Like... how is this shit still not properly explored in canon? Why set up such a situation, at the very end, only to ignore it completely anyway!? Why did we get these tidbits so late in the game when Shino was set up to just be a snooty and sometimes quite an unlikable guy in the series?

[nyalisa-landale]

I just finished the first trial in dawntrail and guys, alisa is having such a good time

I was glad to see zoraal ja just absolutely wreck bakool ja ja with one blow; that dude absolutely needed humbling. I am less happy about soraal ja's plotting (I don't actually remember his name I hope that's it). I know he's the reason bakool ja ja is purely fucking with us now and I strongly suspect he's the one who suggested setting loose valigarmanda.

and then he's like "I suggested ignoring it and letting it ravage tural just for an advantage in the contest, but noooo, zoraal ja had to go and fight it" like my dude!!!! I know he doesn't know it's not just about finding the city of gold (but isn't he supposed to be like a royal advisor or something??? shouldn't he be smart enough to figure that out????) but like seriously, the dawnservant famously vanquished and sealed away valigarmanda, do you honestly believe that completely ignoring it breaking free is going to win the dawnservant's favor???? like is he expecting it to kill us, or does he think we can defeat it and it'll just slow us down? either way, if zoraal ja had gone along and just ignored it like he wanted, it would have been a real bad look!!!!!!

anyway me and alisa both are looking forward to showing that guy what's what

she also 100% saw valigarmanda and was like "um. hmm. yeah. we're gonna fight that." wuk lamat is like "well yeah, of course I kinda want to, it would be real exciting, but-" "didn't say I want to. I said we're gonna."

then after the fight she definitely deadpans "yeah it's almost as if since each if you embodies one of your father's better traits, that by working together you can accomplish even greater feats than he did! like he wanted to make sure you knew the value of teamwork and allies, or something????? but I'm just a catgirl, what the hell do I know"

the flippant self-deprication falls a little flat since she's a level 94 summoner whose initial response to literally anything involving combat is "oh, ok *summons demi-bahamut, deathflare, ahk morn*" but I bet zoraal ja still doesn't pick up what she's putting down.