#LIKE LITERALLY I COULD NOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP ITS INSANE
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yourbasicqueerie · 18 hours ago
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I just want to quickly give a lil shoutout to my beautiful and amazingly smart mutuals, if u follow me and like my gay shit then pleaaaase for the love of god consider following them and taking a look at their things! I adore every single one of y'all! Xx
 @jubshead - I mean how could she NOT be in here! Mother slays everytime
@nyoclosmom - the one and only, their art is top tier and genuinely one of the funniest ppl ever. ALSO MY WIFE GUYS LOOK ITS MY WIFE I LOVE MY WIFE GO FOLLOW MY GORGOUES AND BEAYUTIFUL AND AMAIZNG WIFE I LOVE MY WIFE
@tremordusk - if u want to talk abt having the best incorrect quotes in this fandom they’re the person to do so.
@timeforaneclipse - characterization and storytelling to its finest! 
@lalchimiedecupid - sooooo inherently poetic and for no reason at all other than for fun! My Arabic cousin ily
@endOr4 - BEST FUCKING GIF MAKER IVE EVER SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE 
@acricketcannot - my lovely daughter in law who’s almost (if not) as crazy as I am.
@holyblanchett - SUCH a simp, and I mean this in the best fucking way possible!
@multixfan - Patti Lupone extraordinaire, also MAMA THE EDITS EAAATTTTT
@ariascoven - Brazilian pookie with the best teacher fics in town
@madamspellmans-met-tet - darling don’t u get stomach aches from eating every single time???? I need to know ur secret
@sapphicjew - the author of some of the best comments I’ve ever received.
@idkwhatever580 - creator of the besttt fake tweets on the AAA fandom, I cackle every single time.
@morgaynas - Brazilian pookie with unlimited musical theater knowledge.
@confuseuniverse - the original milf shipper, and so fucking funny too.
@literally-lillias-wife - fellow Lilia simper I salute u 🫡
@insane-hag - AMAZING taste for fandoms. And quite literally insane about them too!
@slut4alicewu - THE Alice blog who I have mistaken for an Alice RP account WAY too many times lmao.
@shinramyunnoodles - literally infinite Patti Lupome knowledge and also THE hand artist.
@amethyst-bitch - contrary to this divas name, she's a literal sweetheart!!! 🫶 
@im-a-carnivorous-plant - I don't even know what to say because I'm fangirling to hard to utter words.
@covenofagatha - fangirling way to hard to be humanly possible pt. 2
@valkyriekain - have yet to interact with them but I just love their blog sm!
@nightmare-of-homophobes - THE person to talk with about Reno Sweeney and “blow Gabriel blow” also ANOTHER Brazilian pookie.
@gayalfredprufrock - I mean do I need to explain myself??? The pfp says it all already! Also, great thoughts on avis
@gayestswiftie - mama u so live up to ur name on here! Fellow wife sharer too!
@aggieharkness - I've YET to make the cookies they so generously sent me the recipe of! Other than seemingly a great baker, such a great writer and person too.
@renafisher27 - one of the greatest Patti simps out there!
@gilmoresliarss - their blog name says it all ngl.
@chiefofmilfs - bruh I've got to talk to u!! So so so so fucking funny!
@polaris-likethestar - my beautiful and amazing daughter than can never do any wrong even tho she prefers her other mother.
@mandy-asimp - YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT LEGENDARY FICS WITH GREAT CARS IN THEM? YOUVE GOT UR GIRL!
@liliastriangle - couldn't end on a better note! The best commenter ever! I appreciate u sm doll 🫶🫶
Thank you everyone for making my day a lil better! Happy (vry late) Christmas to all whom celebrate and an early happy new years for all whom celebrate too!
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abiiors · 4 months ago
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literally NO ONE is as melodramatic as indian aunties because tell me why someone i know had a HEART ATTACK because she got SO ANGRY ABOUT NOT RECEIVING A WEDDING INVITATION SHE WAS EXPECTING???? GIRL???
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front-facing-pokemon · 2 years ago
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#okay i did not have to edit this one. score#shiftry#anyway i really don't like this pokémon or anything about it. SORRY but it's true it's really ugly and its mouth and the nose#and it has the same things i don't like about it that i talked about with nuzleaf. i just don't get it but this time it wasn't in psmd#so i'm not attached to it just by virtue of that. and well. that contributes to me not really liking it i suppose#ahh well. better luck next time TPC you can make a good grass/dark-type eventually (it's meowscarada) (it took 6 generations)#hi it's me from two weeks later like the actual day this post is going to post. i came back to edit the tags so i could respond to some#comments. crazy‚ i know! but i saw the tags on this one were a bit short so let's beef 'em up. the nuzleaf post got some comments#about the whole prosthetic memory thing. where i set reminders on my phone to do shit or else i will not do the shit#i literally have a reminder set for 2:30 PM today to eat food. or else i won't even do that i bet#and folks are saying it's a common ADHD experience and that i'm not a fail and i do appreciate it. i think i was joking a bit#i was probably just frustrated i had to edit the image after taking it but the gist is. i don't *think* i have ADHD? i do have autism#which i suspected for a loooooong while until i finally up and got diagnosed when i was fucking 21 years old. which is insane. so i wonder#if that's an experience that overlaps. i imagine it is bc they proooobably would've been able to tell me if i had ADHD‚ too#okay. i moved these tags over here from nosepass‚ actually‚ which is the pokémon i just queued up. so i'm gonna go remove them from there#see you in street fighter five everybody
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itsalwaysdark · 3 months ago
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also its so dumb that one of the arguments ppl have against a sims 5 is that theyve already invested too much money into 4. like yes its fucking scummy that ea charges so much for dlc and its Ludicrous the amt sims 4 costs if you have all the dlc and its going to keep getting more and more expensive but . to be honest . why are you paying for sims packs. im sry
#ik not everyone can pirate i get it and its your money do what you want#but itis your choice to invest so much into like. a sinking ship DJRNFJFNG. idk....#i want 2 be optimistic and believe that somehow they WILL be able to fix every single issue with ts4#but i honestly believe thats require them to take an extended break from releasing new packs and shit#and i genuinely honestly dont think theyll do that. lol.#but like. i think itd be a good idea like. Cut down on new releases and focus on fixing the base game and then pack refreshes#bc itd be rly cool to have like. pack refreshes to make them more fleshed out#but also like. sigh. it rly does come down to the packs bc i judt genuinely find it kind of disgusting how little is in each pack#and how many of the packs could be consolidated#genuinely earnestly feel like growing together and parenthood shouldve been one pack. like. and honestly throw hsy in there...#hsy could do with a refresh Badd ik its fairly new but oh my god the school is so fucking buggy#and in general like. IDK. id rly love the packs to be refreshed and id love love love More fucking lots in the worlds oh my god. multiple#worlds have literally 4 lots. Thats fucking actually insane it makes me crazy#i get like. ooh bc you can travel between worlds the worlds can be smaller but i hate it 😭😭😭#i think its just bc i grew up playing 3 perhaps but like. i rly loved like. idk when i choose to play in a sims world i want to play in tha#world. i dont want to have to like. i live in moonwood mills (5 lots .) and thej i have to go to like. san myshunonif i want to go to a bar#or whatever. is there a bar in san myshuno idr#IDKIDK. i feel like Innnn my opinion there should be like. at least 1 of the basegame lot types for every world maybe with some exceptions#and there should be enough empty slots ppl can fill it out more if they want...#but also like. idk. i suppose it wouldnt affect me much bc i usually stay on my home lot as much as possible#bc of the loading screens#it wouldnt be so bad if like. idk. i understand why they didnt wanna do open world like ts3#well i dont its fucking actually stupid. but i get that ts4 wasnt supposed to be what it is and it wasnt built to be a longrunning game.#hence why ts5 should happen instead as a Strong Foundation BUT WHATEVER but like. yk. and ik im not the only person in the world and other#ppl want different but i feel like maybe you could have options .. idk. im not a programmer#but itd be cool to have some sort of way to toggle between like. open world semi open world and closed world#where itd be like. ts3 style where the exteriors of everything r there but the interiors r loaded in when u visit (if that is how ts3 works#i may be a bit off) nd closed would be ts4 style Loading screen to go . next door#am i misremembering or are there even loading screens between like. the new apartments with forrent.... there were for the city living ones#skull Fuckk i ran out of space
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villalunae · 1 year ago
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sitting here twiddling my fucking thumbs like a serial killer about to lose her shit bc a post casually referred to a character in utena as dead and there is literally no reasoning for it nor against it and there is plenty more FOR IT than NOT and they just said that shit CASUALLY as if it was not the most BATSHIT THING TO DROP MIDPOST
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 4 months ago
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I don't care when people don't include me in stuff, I'm used to it but-----
my own family going on a trip w/o even asking me kinda felt
shit 🫠
#like i understand cuz they gave up on trying to talk to me butttttttt#why the fuck am i the villain in the story even like this 😭#its okay if u dont give a fuck abt me. but at least dont make me feel like i deserve it lol#like yes sorry but i have a reason for lowkey disliking all of you#and i know damn well all of you know why#yet they always say that it makes no sense i behave this way#behave this way means keeping my healthy distance and trying to move out asap#i dont spread hate and im not an asshole with them???#but me not acting all lovey dovey is a problem too#yes idk i always think i should cherish that they are still alive and i could better my relationship with them but#What to do when you can see your own dad literally hating you#like when he talks to me he always does so in a cynical and angry way#man im sorry i was born and shit its kind of your fault for not using a condom :/#lol okay i think imma delete this later but yes#yes i hate it that the only people i feel loved by are de*d ffsssssssssssssss#like all is well lately but i wish! love wouldn't only exist in my head man! im happy this way but when i realize the situation its kind of#pathetic and idk until how long#can i keep on staying sane like this lol#im kind of already insane if we think abt it but how long will it take me to lose my marbles completely 😭#yes this crisis was spiraled by just me not being included in a trip i wouldnt have gone to regardless if they asked me#but yes like. Idk they could have just told me at least😭 i called my sis in the morning and she responded like 10 hours later that they are#w dad and a womannn doing some funsies eating pancakes n shit 👻👻#i hate pancakes and i hate myself but 👻#im jealous of you guys frrrrr🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ for being so normal n happy 🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛
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procyo9 · 1 year ago
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nsjshdndnw I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS i just wanna sit down and draw and write silly notes and do research about shit that I never cared about AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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nikokopuffs · 2 years ago
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do you guys ever see a character and you immediately just think “hes my lil guy” or hes my babygirl or hes my princess or any variations and then you have the uncontrollable desire to shrink him and pick him up by his foot and comically drop him into ur mouth??? because i do. all the time. yeah.
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bonestrouslingbones · 10 days ago
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i'm locking in
#managed to get spoiled for the first 2 movies im DETERMINED to not let it happen for the third time in a row#i will be seeing it at 7:00pm this friday. which is very early to be seeing it. but it'll be in theaters on the 19th so still Dangerous#i was lucky enough that for both movies it was Only the after credits scenes that got spoiled. but the 2nd one was so stupid im still angry#literally it was just. i was getting ready to GO to the theater to watch it. i go to the bathroom. open twitter for 2 seconds.#and shadow the hedgehog was trending and i knew it was all over. immediately went into denial bc ngl i was rooting for metal sonic & amy :(#SO. i'm using all my power this time to prevent anything possible from showing me Anything. blocked all the tags AND phrases here#moved the twitter app to a whole different location on my app screen so that i forget where it is#put bluesky in its previous spot even though it is frankly boring as all hell#got the twitter control panel extension just so i could hide the explore tab/sidebar and never see a single trending topic ever again#and i am preparing to unfollow the sonic tags i'm following if i must. i'll block them too if i have to idgaf !!!#and the worst part is i already feel like i know a lot of what's gonna be IN this movie yknow. its fucking sonic adventure 2#the moon's gonna blow up a 12 year old girl is gonna get shot and sonic and shadow are gonna get real sparkly at the end#but i also know that the movie's setting is gonna make everything all weird and i wanna see what insane shit they'll surprise me with#and i only wanna see it on FRIDAY at SEVEN O'CLOCK PM!!!
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voulezloux · 3 months ago
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clearallcathy · 3 months ago
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on Another note i do have fun dressing up and stuff but going out and being perceived as a girl past a certain level feels very ???
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rainybraindays · 1 year ago
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I don't know who needs to hear this but portia is not a parent where the relationship gets better with age, shes the parent you're low contact with by 20 and no contact with by 30
#rainy talks#am I the only one who remembers her telling Prudence pens OLDER SISTER how she doesn't want to have no prospects like her#despite Prudence also having no suitors??#or how she gave that big speech at the end of season 2 about how she was a mother and she had 3 daughters that she loved so much#and then doesn't even seem concerned about the distinct lack of her youngest#or how in the book colin and Penelope enter the house TOGETHER after the carriage and without a doubt looking uber disheveled#and she /still/ assumes hes asking to marry Felicity who I don't think he'd ever interacted with at the time?#or how she sees how distressed entering society makes Penelope and still pushes her out even though shes 17 and could have easily waited#or how she literally joins in with Prudence on mocking Penelope for writing to colin not because its improper#but because shes wasting colins time and ink?#like god no wonder Penelope is Whistledown can you imagine the pent-up aggression and vile she had?#no wonder shes lashing out on such a insane scale when her biggest bully isn't Cressida its her fucking mother#idk its like 4 am and I woke up and wasn't able to stop thinking about this#but god portia reminds me so much of someone and I'm absolutely boggled by the people who want her to be pens defender#like thats not happening thats never happening if her and colin interact in regards to pen the one likely to be defending her#IS COLIN. because portias probably gonna think hes in love with Prudence or something#god I could go on if i really thought I could probably pick out even more times where she treats her kids like shit#because its not just Penelope theres a clear struggle in that house to be her favorite#and Penelope is loosing because she never stood a fucking chance.#And this isn't even getting into the marina stuff I could do an ESSAY on the marina stuff
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box-dwelling · 1 year ago
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For a person who bonded onto Miles Edgeworth like a baby duck, when I write I really do focus on Phoenix and his struggles way more than Edgeworths.
#honestly the reason is two fold in a way that stems from the same place#i deal with my issues in a very very similar way to phoenix. i just shut it out and try and insist on helping other people instead#to the point it becomes actively unhealthy for me to be helping them#i got that issue dodging saviour complex with the assumption that is i dont deal with my issues one day i will die and no longer need to#so obviously i want to explore that aspect i relate to so heavily#the other reason is that while i deal with my issues like Phoenix the issues themselves are way too similar to Edgeworth#so therefore i never want to write about Edgeworths issues and thus deal with my own#writing 1 von karma sibling fic would fix me but i would actually rather die than fully process the similarities in my own trauma to theirs#reading is different. actually like remembering what that felt like and processing that by writing it down? kill me kill me now#anyway the point of this was ment to be that Edgeworth is really really fun to write#like insanely fun. i love his dumb Victorian style of speaking#franziska also fun as fuck to write. also deeply neglected despite hiw much i love her because the trauma is too similar#also i want it to be said this isnt a like i cant write this because its too traumatic thing. it would actively help me. creating does that#but i just have a box in my head called “bad feelings do not touch” and i do not touch it until it starts biting and i have to shoot it#this is also why i keep avoiding a PMECD fic because ive been on both sides of that shit and both of them make me want to scream#honestly the thing that i most need to write to get the box to shut up but i literally could not want to do something less#i have ideas too. but then i have to touch the box. and i don't want to touch the box
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tgcg · 7 months ago
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an open fly walking
i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now
TG: hey karkat
CG: YEAH?
===
TG: you ever noticed you like
TG: walk weird
CG: WOW, OKAY.
CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?
TG: pff
===
TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity
TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but
TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man
CG: I DO???
TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault
TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale
TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity
TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it
CG: SERIOUSLY?
===
TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but
TG: yeah
CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.
TG: im not fucking with you striders honor
TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything
CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.
CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.
TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me
CG: ON IT.
===
===
TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude
CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.
TG: dont your feet ache
===
CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.
TG: damn i didnt think that through
TG: my shades
CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.
TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with
TG: ugh
===
TG: guess its karma
CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?
TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor
TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing
TG: just conjecture i mean
CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.
TG: yeah probably
CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.
===
TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets
TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot
CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.
CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.
CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".
TG: well look at it this way
TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass
TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol
CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.
===
TG: also screw this can i use your shirt
TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up
TG: i cant see dick
CG: UH
CG: SURE, I GUESS.
TG: cool
===
TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right
TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night
CG: YEAH.
CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.
CG: BUT
CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.
TG: see yeah i sound it off and
===
TG: wait really?
CG: YEAH
CG: I DON'T KNOW
CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.
===
CG: IT'S LIKE
CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.
CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.
TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing
CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.
TG: you think thatd be heroic or just
CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.
CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?
TG: hah
===
TG: but uh
TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth
CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.
CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.
TG: oh
CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.
===
TG: heh
TG: well get this
TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free
TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues
TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time
TG: take that and some of this
TG: im packin punches
CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!
CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.
CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.
TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here
===
CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?
TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given
TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool
CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.
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muppetebbtide · 10 months ago
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discworld dashboard simulator
❓ ankhmorporkpolls
🧙🏻 blackalisstan
This is like that tsortian guy who had to pick between goddesses and started a war and then died. Or like paying the assassin's guild to kill you
🔪 treefroghousealumni follow
*inhume
🧙🏻 blackalisstan
piss off you posh knob
🍴 priestessofanoia
tbf I don't think the watch is wasting its time on this blue hellsite so ur probably safe there. the POSTMASTER however...
#sometimes I think only bloody stupid johnson could have come up with this fucking site
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🪻watchofficial follow
ALL'S WELL!
🍴 priestessofanoia
nvm lmao 😭
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☕ klatchmeifyoucan follow
.
#ppl on here are actually sooooo ankh morpork centric it's insane #'EVERYONE knows webblethorpe the unconscious' who??? why the fuck should I??? #like HELLO there's other places on the disc? #and klatch is NICER like omg
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unseenuniconfessions reblogged:
🦧 unseenuniversitylibrary
Ook
#SO TRUE KING
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Anonymous asked:
Is lord vetinari gay
🪄ramtopswitches answered:
Why would you ask us, a ramtops witches blog, this
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🔮 uucompetitiveeatingchamp follow
CALLOUT: @ /spanglersal (deactivated)
• started a Kickstarter to crowdfund a click of Captain Vimes & Errol then disappeared with the money and has gone completely ghost on everyone
• apparently stole over 100k
• cringe
Read More
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Anonymous asked:
Blessings be upon this askbox
🌷queen-of-lancre answered:
I don't know if this is nanny pretending to be granny, or if it's actually granny, and I think I'm too scared to find out
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cmot-dibbler-enterprises sponsored
SAUSAGES INNA BUN ‼️‼️‼️‼️🌭🌭🌭🌭
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🏚️ throwingshades
Gonna go skating on the frozen river ankh!!
💀 nojusticejustus
HAVE FUN
🏚️ throwingshades
Thanks man!
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✉️ ampostofficeofficial follow
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🐸 bursaaaaaaaaar
is. is the post office posting crab rave bc reacher gilt just turned up dead
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🧳 agateantravels follow
The Crumley's Hogswatch grotto is being advertised again but somehow I just don't think they can top last year's... like idk where they got the budget from but the real pigs?? CRAZY. my little sister asked for a pony and there was just one in the house when we got back like?? My mum was PISSED but yes talk abt Hogswatch magic. Still wonder how they pulled it off
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💖 angelofmusic
It's literally SO unfunny to be making jokes about the Opera Ghost when you all KNOW I saw so many of my friends DIE last year??? I literally have so much PTSD from it... like it's so insensitive you're all actually the WORST
#vent #don't rb #some of you will say ANYTHING for a cheap laugh :(
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🐊 genuablogging
My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “narrative causality” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯
Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.
5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the Duc turn into a frog
My buddy Mrs Pleasant, pacing: Lilith de Tempscire is lying to us
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satorusugurugurl · 4 months ago
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Hiii :33 i literally read all ur works in one sitting omg ur amazing pookieee AND IT GOT ME THINKING-
What if reader and the JJK men had their bodies switched due to a curse??? Like- For example- Nanami Kentos body but readers mind/conscious and stuff like ykwim??? (same with readers body) Also i love how u write sukuna its so BEIFNSKFHKDD ARF👹👹 if u could add some smut and crack in it too pls🥹 tyty
(W/ nanamin toji sukuna n geto pls) ☺️☺️😚😚
JJK Men: Body Swap!!
Summary: Body swapping with your boyfriend? What could go wrong? 😃
Pairing: Fushiguro Toji, Nanami Kento, Ryomen Sukuna (Sorcerer AU), Geto Suguru, AFAB!Reader
Warnings: smut, a little crack, body swapping, creampies, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms
Word Count: 7,174
A/N: Hi Pookie!! hajsjjdjdthank-you so so much! I lo ove too! Modern Sukuna is one of my favorite boys to write for! I love him so much. (even though I know its OOC). Anyways thanks for being so patient with me. this last month has been insanely busy and I'm just now finding my creativity again!
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Fushiguro Toji:
It was supposed to be a simple mission to take out a sorcerer. What you both didn’t know was that this sorcerer had a lot of curses to spirits protecting them. So when you both took him out, one of the spirits attacked you. And you weren't sure what happened. One second, you were standing back to back with your boyfriend. The next second, you were lying flat on your back, staring up at the sky.
While your head was spinning and you felt sick to your stomach, that meant you were alive and well, which was a success in your books. Sitting up, you grumbled out a groan as you blinked several spots away.
“Son of a fuckin’ bitch.” You said, but it wasn't you that said it? When your vision finally cleared, your eyes widened as you stared down at yourself. “I’m telling Shiu we need double the pay for that shit.” A string of vulgar words escaped your lips as you watched your body sit up.
“T-Toji?” You asked, finding your voice several octaves lower.
“Yeah, you good?” your head turned towards you, and that’s when your boyfriend finally seemed to notice something was wrong. Toji, I’ve been told you you were never good at hiding your facial reactions, and seeing a pure panic that crossed your features let you know he was right. “Oh, what the fuck?!”
“I-It’s me! I-I just—uhm—what the fuck happened?!”
After thoroughly researching the files you both refused to read, you discovered that this was one of the side effects of one of the curses you had taken out. It allowed the souls of its victims to switch with each other. The technique was only meant to last a few hours to a few days, which was a blessing, but your boyfriend didn’t seem to see it that way.
Although you both insisted that you could handle a few more jobs, Shiu couldn’t stand the way you were smiling sweetly at him with Toji’s face, and your face was glaring daggers at him from the rearview mirror. So he did the only logical thing he could think of. You were taking your asses back home until this side effect wore off.
Which was something you found yourself longing for. Because you weren’t sure how much longer you could handle being in the small confining space of the apartment with your boyfriend who is currently stuck in your body. You were trying to preoccupy your time, attempting to fix dinner with Toji’s sausage fingers, when you could hear your voice and make the most pitiful sounds in the living room.
“My fucking back hurts!” Toji yelled out, stretching his back out.
“Yeah?” you asked, “I told you I wasn’t fucking joking with you. Having breasts can weigh you down sometimes. Why the fuck do you think I ask for a back massage all the time?”
“Because you want my dick.”
“Hardy har asshole, now you know when I ask for a massage and being serious seventy-five percent of the time.”
You tried to focus on cutting onions but found it extremely difficult with the wines emanating from the living room. “Oww, babe, come give me a back massage. Your beautiful tits that I love are causing me immense pain.” Ignore him, you told yourself as you went back to cutting onions. If you just ignored his whining, everything would be okay. “Babe!” Your voice at you from across the apartment. “Baby!” Your fingers tightened around the handle of the knife you were holding, fighting the urge to use your newfound strength not to throw it at yourself. For just a moment, the tiniest millisecond, you thought maybe he had given up on calling you forward, allowing you to go back to cooking until you heard yourself cry out a wine that would make any toddler turn their head towards you.
“Oh my god!” You snapped, tossing the knife into the sink. “What?! What do you want me to do for you, Your Highness?!”
“Rub my back,” Toji grumbled as he shoved your face into the couch. “It hurts, and I know how good I am with my hands.”
With a sigh, you plopped down on the ground behind your body, using your boyfriend's hands to rub circles at the knots always in your back gently. Almost instantly, Toji let out a moan that was porn worthy. You could see him sink further into the couch; your fingers dug into the cushions as you continued to use Toji’s thumbs to rub circles into the sore muscles. Toji continued to whimper, squirming under your touch, pressing your thighs together as you worked your hands lower and lower.
And while it seemed like he was finding some relief in your touch, you found his pants a little too tight for comfort sounds that were resonating from your mouth.
“Fuuuck, that feels so good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, babe, Fuuck.”
The sound of your moans seems to affect your boyfriend’s body. Allowing you to move on impulse, allowing his body to take the lead. “I bet I can make you feel better.” You whisper against the nape of your neck, relishing how your boyfriend recoiled back.
“Oh yeah~? And how do you plan on making me feel even better?”
Your way was fast and hard, much like the way Toji always gave it to you. You wasted no time, ripping your clothes off of your own body, slamming your lips against the crook of your neck, nipping and sucking at the skin as his hands reached around, groping your breasts, just the way you liked it. Despite being in different bodies, neither of you were at all clumsy. As soon as you started ripping your clothes off, he told you he was tugging his shirt off his own body, turning to face, allowing you to pin him below you.
The kisses you shared were messy teeth clashing against each other as you both worked at your bottoms. Toji pulled your shorts and your underwear to the side. While you yanked his cock out of his sweats. Even though you were in different bodies, sex wasn’t any different. Toji just needed to feel you against him despite being inside your body, and the same for you.
You spit into your hand, rubbing it over your boyfriend's cock before you press it against your entrance. Never once did you break that kiss, the kiss that was full of raw need as if you both were high on an aphrodisiac when, in reality, you were high off of each other. Toji moaned against your lips as you pushed yourself inside of the tight, wet heat. Your breathing hitched at the strange new sensations washing over both of you.
“Oh my fuck,” you grumbled, pressing your lips against Toji’s. “I-It’s so tight and wet, oh, fuck.”
Toji wanted to laugh to make some crude comment about making sure you didn’t come too fast, but that was hard when he was being split open by his cock. “I-I feel s-so full.” He whispered nearly breathlessly against your lips.
“Does it hurt? Do you need a second?”
“No, I’m okay. Keep going, it feels good.”
Not needing to be told twice, you found yourself pulling out slowly before pushing back inside of your tight, wet walls. You both cried out, your head falling forward while Toji arched his back off the ground. You aren’t sure how long you could last like this. Hell, you weren’t even sure how Toji lasted as long as he did when he was inside of you. The man who was like a crazed sex god going for hours upon hours. While your boyfriend was wondering how the fuck you were able to take his cock like this every other night.
The pace you both set was messy and entirely out of rhythm. But despite not having any rhythm you were used to, it didn’t mean it didn’t feel good. Being able to lose control and lose yourself in the passion and sensations of just feeling good was hot. It was so hot that it had you both biting and sucking and clawing at each other. Your fingers dug into your hips while his nails scratched down your back as you both lost yourselves in the sensation of being with each other in a way you had never experienced before.
Being with each other in such a raw, more personal way allows you both, in a sense, to know how it feels for the other to know what to do, how to kiss, how to touch, and how to move against each other. This might come in handy for future sexual sessions for you. You knew that when you dug his nails into your upper back, your body trembled with pleasure. And Toji realized that when you angle your hips, a sure way to brush over your g-spot and cervix made your walls clench down so hard. He was afraid he was going to squirt all over you. Neither of you had ever expected it to happen, but both of you were excited that it had. Even if it meant neither of you was going to last very long.
“Oph fuck!” Toji cried out in your voice, his back arching. “B-Baby, I feel weird, like I need to pee!” Your boyfriend stared up at his face, which smirked sinisterly down at him.
“Yeah~? You gonna cum on my cock?” You asked, your voice deep and ragged. “Be good and cum for me.” You growled against his neck, smirking as you released your grip on his hip, rubbing circles over the swollen, sensitive clit.
“Ah! Fuck! Oooh fuck yes, gonna cum!”
“Cum for me, Toji~ come on!”
Toji screamed as he came so hard he squirted all over you, his legs shaking with the aftershocks of his orgasm. As he screamed and squirmed underneath you, you lost yourself in the way your walls tightened around your boyfriend‘s cock. Hugging him, milking him, trying to get him to come inside. Which, fortunately, was far too easy to do. You collapsed forward, fingers digging into your hips so hard you were pretty sure you were going to leave bruises much, much darker than your boyfriend ever left on you. It was just too much, tightening the screaming, the pleasure. There was no way you could’ve stopped yourself.
“C-Cumming! Ooh fuck!”
“Yeah~! Give it to me!”
You thrust fast and hard, pumping your pussy full of your boyfriend's cum. Not stopping until the head of his cock was oversensitive, and you weren’t sure if you could hold yourself up any longer. You grumbled, somehow collapsing onto your side as your boyfriend giggled, curling up against you.
“Fuck, I understand why you don’t like pulling out now.”
Toji, your nails down his chest. “Yeah, it feels really good, doesn’t it?” You hummed, wrapping your boyfriend's arms around your more petite frame, not entirely used to the size difference. “God, I gotta give it to ya’ you take my dick like a fucking champ. Don’t know how you do it.”
You smirked, pressing a quick kiss against his forehead. “I’m lucky enough to have a boyfriend to make sure I’m more than ready for his monster of a cock.” He snickered, pulling back to look at me. “And I know I already failed at foreplay, but I couldn’t help myself when you’re making such pretty sounds. I needed to hear more.”
“Yeah, remember that the next time you bitch that I don’t prep you enough after giving you a massage.”
“Toji, I fully understand what you mean, and it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”
“Good, now— are you ready for round two?”
“Round two? Already?”
Toji swang your body over his hips, rocking gently over your oversensitive cock. “Oh yeah, I thought you were fucking with me, but your sex drive is insatiable; hurry up, I’m ready to go.” Maybe this whole body swap thing did have its downsides.
Nanami Kento:
It took five seconds for Nanami to turn away from the curse you were fighting. The curse shot out a green goop that coated you and Nanami in that span. It took five more seconds for your husband to act, blinking away the goop before jumping back into action. It was only when he went to swing his blunt blade that he realized something was wrong. Instead of swinging his typical weapon, he tossed a talisman paper instead.
In that momentary confusion, you and Kento took out the curse before looking at each other. Imagine his surprise when he didn’t find your pretty face looking up at him but his own, looking down at him. The initial shock turned into panic as he watched a look of pure terror and confusion cross his face.
“My love, it’s all right.” The calm manner of speaking sounded so strange coming out of your mouth. “We have to remain calm.”
“Oh my God, oh my God!” Nanami sighed, running a hand down your face. “What are we gonna do? This is terrible.”
Your husband wasn’t sure if you consider this terrible. Both of you were safe, so that’s all that truly mattered. However, he also found himself strangely intrigued by the predicament. He found yourself then. Seeing the expressions on his face, the cute little corpse you had, like picking at your nails, nipping up your bottom, lip, or weighing, looked strange to him, but it also left him longing to see what other reactions he could drop out from you.
Unaware of your husband’s intentions, you try to remain calm. You continued gently rubbing your hands together as Shoko and Nanami looked over your body he was in.
“Any pain or discomfort?” You watched in horny silence as Nanami moved your shoulder again.
“A little pain in my, well, my wife’s shoulder.”
“Let’s get that taken care of.”
You slipped your top over your head alone, you to see your body. The blue lace bra you wore was on display as Shoko's eyes flowed through her hands over your shoulder. Staring at your skin shouldn’t have any effect on you. It was your body. You had seen yourself naked one million times, but Nanami’s body reacted differently. Its bare skin and breasts had his pants feeling much too tight.
“How’s that?” Shoko asked as she stepped away, watching Nanami rotate your shoulder with a sigh of approval.
“Much better, thank you, Shoko.”
“And you?”
When Shoko turned her attention to you, your hands immediately went to cover your crotch. An action that seem to go unnoticed by your best friend but was clearly noticed by your husband. Nanami hummed cocking an eyebrow in your direction, his eyes focusing on his crotch, seeing how the fabric of his cream-colored suit pants with straining.
You cleared your throat, looking away, “I-I’m fine! Totally fine, just eager to get home and wait this out!” You wanted to get away from her and her praying eyes because how embarrassing would that be for you to be popping a boner in your boyfriend’s body at the sight of your tits?
“Alright, sounds good to me. If you need me, I’m just a call away; go home and rest.”
You have never been more happy to hear the words go home and get some rest in your entire life. You held your boyfriend’s hands in front of his crotch before taking his suit jacket to keep it over the prominent tent in his pants. This was perfect. You would be able to get home without anyone noticing. There, you could take a cold shower and sleep this off.
But your boyfriend had another plan.
Before you both could make it down the hall, Nanami grabbed your wrist, tugging you into one of the spare classrooms. “Kento?” You asked, the unsure tone of your husband’s voice sounded foreign. “What are you—nngh!” Your body jolted forward as he slipped his hand down, rubbing at the throbbing erection straining in his pants.
“Shh, let’s make this quick. I can’t have you walking around with an erection like some teenage boy.”
“W-Wait h-here?! If we get caught, that would be worse! At least I can hide a boner with your jacket!?”
At that moment, your husband was undoing the zipper of his pants, allowing you to see the hunger in your own eyes. It was a look that spoke volumes, and you suddenly realized why your husband had told you several times in the past to control your facial reactions. It was a look you only gave him when you were unbearably horny.
“Oh my god, that’s it. That’s the look you always talk about.”
“Mhm,”
“You’re horny?!”
Instead of answering your question with words, he took your hand and slowly slipped it under the waistband of your pants. There, you could feel the wet slick that you were familiar with. Not skipping a beat, your muscle memory kicked in as your fingers began to trace circles over your clit, knowing just how you like to be touched.
“I saw how hard you were and couldn’t help myself. Your body is screaming you need me. I’m so wet, and I’m throbbing; I need you.”
Hearing those words leave your mouth made you realize how your husband felt when he was in your position. When you talk like that in public, it is hard to control yourself at that moment. You had no clue how Nanami managed to do it because you lost your composure the second he opened his mouth.
You slammed your lips against his as you lifted him, pinning him against the wall, his hands worked at the button of his trousers while you slid your panties to the side. Luckily, both of you were so aroused that there was no need for foreplay. Lips moved against each other as you pressed the head of your husband’s cock against your entrance, pushing inside without a second thought. You couldn’t care less if the door wasn’t locked, and you seriously doubted anyone would enter from the moans resonating from both of you.
All that mattered was fucking each other's brains out. Whether it was a factor from the curse or your undying love for each other, you allow yourselves to lose sight of your control. You needed him just as bad as he needed you. And you gave it to him. It’s hard and fast as he gave it to you after he had been pent up from work all day.
Nanami screamed, head rocking back against the wall as you thrust forward, slamming the head of his cock against your cervix over and over, making sure to go as deep as you possibly could. You wanted him to know how good he always left you feeling after a rough session. Your fingers dug into the fat of your hips as you nipped and sucked at your neck, drawing out more moans from him.
You were giving it, your all fucking your husband as hard as he did; Nanami was gripping onto his biceps, staring into your eyes as he took it all in. Every thrust that led to immense pleasure, every kiss, he took in everything you were doing to him. Because the second he was back in his own body, he would make sure he made you feel as good as you made him feel.
And that was a promise he intended to keep.
“Oh, my fuck—” You cried out softly, feeling your orgasm already approaching you. “You feel too good—”
“Yeah, I know that’s how you make me feel every time. But it’s—nngh! It’s—haaah!”
“Hard to not cum?” You answered for him, feeling your walls tightening around your husband’s cock. “Fuck—oooh fuck.”
“C-Cummi—oh m-my god!”
There was no warning, no further words expressed. All that you managed to do was lose yourselves in your orgasms. Nanami cried out tears, picking your eyes as your walls constricted and convulsed around his cock, drawing out your orgasm. You roared a moan loudly into Nanami’s ear as you came inside, fucking his come further inside of you, doing exactly what he did to you every night.
The classroom felt stuffy and hot and reeked of sex. But neither of you cared as you slowly slid to the ground, holding Nanami flush against your chest. You kissed each other deeply, only breaking apart to take a deep breath as all the air escaped your lungs.
“I didn’t think it was possible—” Nanami whispered in your voice, “but I fell deeper in love with you right now.”
“Ken—I love you so much.”
You never made it home that night. Instead, you went to one of the spare dorms and ravished each other all night. Both of you took notes on how exactly your body reacted to certain touches and kisses because the second you were back in your own bodies, you planned on using this newfound information to spice up your marriage even more.
Ryomen Sukuna (JJK Sorcerer AU):
“I hate this!” Sukuna barked out, pacing the floor back and forth. “Ugh!”
“Calm down.” You said from the couch, rubbing your hands down your face. “You’re acting like it’s the end of the world.”
When Sukuna turned to give you the dirtiest look in the world, you weren’t met with his tattooed face, but your own instead. “Have you stopped to look at what happened? I am in your body.” That was true. Your boyfriend was in your body, and you were currently inhabiting his body.
“So it’s not like you’ve never been inside me.” You waggled your eyebrows at him, only to win it go to hell look in return. “Okay, shit, sorry for joking, but you heard Shoko. The effects of this curse will only last a few hours.”
“A few hours too many.”
You weren’t sure if it was the testosterone right now feeling in your blood or the very common annoyance you had with your arrogant boyfriend at times. But for some ungodly reason, watching him, he back-and-forth with a scale on your face was irritating, ever-loving fuck out of you. He was acting like a brat over something neither of you could control.
It wasn’t even just the whole situation itself. Shit like this happened when you were a sorcerer. You got hit with different curses, injured, and usually were expected to live not that long of a life. You knew there was always a chance you wouldn’t come home from a mission. You both were hit by a curse, and you manage walked away with minor injuries and a mild side effect. That was something he should be happy about. But for some damn reason, this whole situation only made him angrier than usual.
“This is bullshit; if only my reverse technique worked shit like this.”
“Kuna! Seriously, what is your problem?”
He growled at you, which would usually put you back in your place when you’re back talking to him, but it seems that growl wasn’t as effective when it came from your body. Meaning you were pretty much unaffected by his tactic of intimidating you.
“I feel weak, okay?!”
“Weak?” You asked with a scoff. “You’re seriously calling me weak?”
“N-No! Fuck I mean, I don’t feel as strong as I normally do.” The more he tried to defend himself, the deeper the hole he dug. “I don’t have the power or technique I have mastered through the years. Instead, I am unfamiliar with your technique, and all I have to defend myself with are these stupid papers.” He scoffed, digging into one of the pouches attached to your belt and pulling out one of your talisman papers. “I mean, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this fold origami?”
“You could shove it up your ass when you get back in your own body, and I hope you get a papercut when doing so.”
“No, I—you know how I see you.” He sighed, plopping down on the couch next to you. “You’re strong, and you’ve mastered your technique. But I don’t know how to do anything you do. I feel useless, and I’m not saying that you can’t hold your own in a fight you kick ass. I feel weak because I’m unaware of how to use your technique.”
There was a paying of understanding deep inside your chest. You knew what he meant because you felt the same way. There was an immense amount of power coursing through your veins, which could easily be used for evil instead of good. Having such a plethora of cursed energy made you feel as though you were a ticking time bomb, like if you were to sneeze, you would blow up a building.
So, instead of lecturing or giving him even more of a hard time, you draped a tattooed arm over your shoulder, pulling your boyfriend close to your side. “I get it, I guess.” You whispered, tilting your head back and staring up at the ceiling. “Being in your body makes me feel as though I’m destined to destroy things.” Sukuna snickered, turning to look up at you. “But just because I don’t have the same amount of cursed energy doesn’t mean I’m weak. I’m still strong in my ways.”
“Yeah? In what ways?”
“When I’m riding your cock. I feel all-powerful like nothing can stop me. Especially when you’re groaning, grabbing my hips, encouraging me to move faster.”
At that moment, you regretted the words that came from your mouth. Because all you heard was your boyfriend's understanding hum. A hum that led to his hands working at your pants.
“W-whoa, easy there, Kuna. What are you doing?”
“Taking control, to see just how powerful I’ll feel.”
There was no room for protest; once your boyfriend set his mind to something, he made sure to get it done. Even if that means stripping down, straddling your hips, and lowering himself awkwardly on his cock. Watching his wish contort with pleasure left you feeling as though you might be able to take the reins on this. It wasn’t as though your boyfriend would be able to take control, to ride cock like a pro.
But you seem to forget that this was your boyfriend, one of the strongest sorcerers of the modern age, just as strong as Gojo, if not more robust. The man was smart, and despite the facial tattoos and the muscles, he knew how to get shit done.
“Oh fuck!” You cried out as he slammed himself down onto his cock with a satisfied growl. “K-Kuna baby! P-Please slow down!”
His hand clamped firmly over your mouth, silencing your protests. “Shut up, I’m in control.” your voice sounded so dark and sultry, god it was so hot! “Just be good and sit still for me; let me use you.” you couldn’t argue with that, and with the way he slowly lifted himself off his cock, before slamming your body back down onto it, leaving you feeling pussy drunk.
“Fuck!”
You cried out, shaking as Sukuna rode you like there was no fucking tomorrow. “Oh fuck, fuuuuck!”
“Yeah~ I suddenly see why you like to be on top of a lot.” he dug your manicured nails into his shoulders, dragging them down over his chest. “From this position, I can do whatever I want to.” You couldn’t even ask what he planned on doing to you before his hips were rolling in circles and you were seeing stars. “Are You paying attention? This is how I want you to ride my cock from now on.”
“K-Kuna—Kuna!”
“I feel so powerful; seeing that pitiful look on my face should piss me off. But instead, it’s making me wanna draw out more.”
It was a combination of everything that was going on that sent you coming first. It was the way Sukuna was purring in your ear, so how he rolled your hips around his shaft, to the stinging burn left of your nails over his skin. It happens so fast, and your boyfriend's cock twitched inside of your walls as you came first. And it was unusual. Usually, you were the first to finish, but it never happened like this before. Your boyfriend being the first to fill you up rather than you soaking him with your release.
Sukuna wasn’t even upset about it. He swelled with a certain sense of pride at getting you off first and with a body he was unfamiliar with. That left him feeling so satisfied he could feel his ego swelling. Before he could brag over the fact that he was better than you, his head began to pound as his vision blurred. His grip on his own shoulders tightened. Sukuna thought he might black out for a moment before he was blinking the black spots out of his vision. When it cleared, he was no longer towering above you but underneath you.
Much to his relief, he looked up at your beautiful face instead of down at his own.
You barely had a second to process what was going on and how it happened before Sukuna’s strong hands and your hips were holding them tightly. Open your mouth to speak, but before any words had the chance to leave your mouth, your boyfriend was pulling you up the link of his cock before slamming you back down on him. You nearly came again just from that action in itself.
“N-Nngh! K-Kuna w-wa—ahh!”
He holds you up and back back down on his cock again and again and again. “I thought I told you to pay attention while riding you.” His hips thrust up into your dripping wet pussy. “I want you to do exactly what I did. Don’t keep me waiting; show me how strong you are, Kitten.”
Geto Suguru:
“So let me get this straight?” Satoru questioned while sitting across from you and your boyfriend. “You both took out the special-grade curse?”
“Yep.”
“Suguru turned it into a ball and gulped it down as he does.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Then everything went black, and you both woke up like this?”
He motioned towards the bodies of his two friends, lifting his blindfold to watch as you knotted your head, which was your boyfriend’s head. Satoru got the story right; it was a simple mission, simple enough for both of you to handle. You could take out the curse with no issues, but when Suguru absorbed it, everything took a turn. Everything went dark, and the next second, you were sitting up in your boyfriend’s body with the most unpleasant taste in your mouth after swallowing the curse.
It was a shock initially, but weird things happened whenever your boyfriend absorbed a curse. That just came with the territory of a curse manipulator. Cursed spirits sometimes had different effects on his body and sometimes the body of those near him. Fortunately, you had been near him on this mission. Geto would have hated to be in Gojo’s body, so this was a win-win scenario.
“Yep, for the time being, we’re stuck like this.”
Gojo sat back in his chair, wincing at the situation, you both found yourselves in. “Shit, sorry about that, guys.” Suguru shook his head, stretching your arms above you.
“Eh, it could have been a lot worse.”
“ that’s true, but are you guys gonna—ya’ know?” Satoru jester to the two of you with his hands. “Use the opportunity to your advantage?”
Suguru and you looked at the white-haired man, blinking in confusion. “Advantage? Satoru, what are you even talking about?” you asked, running your fingers through your boyfriend's black hair.
“You know, I’ll get down and dirty?”
“What?!”
“Satoru~” Your voice purred out as Suegro shook her head. “Is sex the only thing on your mind?”
“Hey, it’s a genuine question. I’m just curious.”
Your boyfriend, who was irritated from the throbbing vein in your forehead. Having sex like this in his body hadn’t crossed your mind. When it initially happened, neither of you had been more concerned with making sure both you and Suguru were okay than about what happened. Besides that, sex wasn’t the only thing on your mind! The thought of doing it like this even occurred to you, and it wouldn’t have even crossed your mind, but thanks to manifest. It was out in the open, sticking out like a sore thumb.
You shifted, trying to listen to your boyfriend bickering back and forth with his best friend. Suddenly, you were aware of the throbbing inside your boyfriend, thankfully baggy pants. And you had the sudden urge to go home because the only thing you bring could focus on was how your boyfriend‘s dick was swelling. The last thing you wanted to do was pop a Boner in front of your mutual friend after he had just suggested hooking up with each other while in the opposite body.
If he found out how you felt, you wouldn't hear the end of his arrogant comments and encouragement.
Yeah, it was best to keep him out of your bedroom life. Especially when you weren’t sure if you wanted to take it that far. There was a burning desire deep in your stomach, one that had you itching to touch your body, to kiss your boyfriend, to succumb to the lust that was burning like a fire deep down inside of you. Was this how Suguru felt around you all the time? Or was it just part of the curse?
“Hey,” you looked up from the bed, watching as Suguru brushed your damp hair. “I think I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight.”
Suguru stopped turning his focus on you. “Why would you do that?” What could you even say? You were hard as a rock and wouldn't be able to control yourself? That you wanted him, but you didn't want to gross him out or make things even weirder?
“Well—I uhm—I—have a bit of a situation.”
“I know. You’re hard; you've been hard since we left campus.”
Your hands almost instinctively died towards the crotch, trying to cover the erection that was still throbbing angrily within the confines of the boxers. “H-How did you know?” Your boyfriend let out a giggle that sounded so strange coming out of your mouth.
“My pants may be baggy, but they aren’t that baggy.”
You felt yourself turn fifty shades of red as you groaned, covering your face in your hands. “Oh my god, you could tell?! Why didn't you say anything?” Another sweet laugh came across the room as you resisted the urge to summon Rainbow Dragon to eat you.
“I didn't want to embarrass you.”
“Yeah, well, I think I'm more embarrassed now. Can I manipulate your curses to eat me? To put me out of this misery?”
“Oh, stop, you're fine. I was only able to notice because I know my body.”
“That doesn't make me feel any better.”
“Well, it should be because you looked so fucking hot. Seeing you fight against those primal urges has your body reacting just as strongly.”
You perked up, watching as Suguru swayed your hips as he slowly approached you. “Is that so?” Suguru nodded, pulling your sleep shirt over your head and tossing it to the floor.
“Even though we're in different bodies, my soul is crying to be near yours.” He slipped your shorts down next, kicking them off to the side.
You slowly ran a hand down your boyfriend's stomach, grabbing his hard cock through his pants. "Fuck guess I got caught. But can you blame me? This is weird." Your hands slowly stoked his hard cock. "But also strangely arousing at the same time."
Seeing your hand stroking his cock had Geto’s eyes widening as he looked over his body before he was overtaken with the sudden urge to shove you down on the bed, immediately straddling his hips. "Don't mind if I do~"
You moaned, blushing up at Geto as he hummed softly. "O-Oh, holy fuck." You said, grabbing his hips. "Fuck is this what I look like to you?" you were in awe of your body. The curves, softness of your skin, and fuck, the fact your pussy was nearly touching his cock. Making it even harder, which seemed impossible.
“Mhm~” Suguru nodded; he rolled your bare hips as he ran his fingers over your hair. "It's really hot, isn't it?"
"Fuck yes, fuck look at my boobs." You said, reaching up and squeezing them. "The way they bounce, it’s so hypnotic."
Your boyfriend giggled, rocking your hips harder before reaching behind him, pulling his own cock from his pants with a moan. "Holy shit.”
"I know it's really hard," You whispered. "I-I holy fucking shit." His cock was so hard Suguru knew it had to be painful.
"I knew I was big, but Fuuck, this put it in a different perspective. Fuck, I'm going to put it inside of your pussy, Princess.” He hummed as he rolled your hips up and down your cock like you had done countless times before.
"Oh, you are?" You asked, licking your lips. "Nah, I don't think so; it’s time I give you a taste of your own medicine.” You growled out while flipping him over onto his side. "I'm going to put it in your pussy." You ground your hips against drenched folds with a snarl.
Suguru gasped, moaning as he felt the head of his cock rubbed against your pussy. Being the one to do it felt much different than being on the receiving end. But it still felt good regardless. He suddenly knew why you begged so pretty; he longed for more than teasing touches. He was about to start praying for more when his whole body seized up as you pressed the head against the tight ring of muscles of the entrance, fighting the need to shove it all in.
“Baby, please—!”
“Oooh, who's a needy slut?”
"Fuck, I am! I want you to fucking destroy me, please.” Suguru moaned, his head slowly rolling back against the pillows.
You smirked, running your tongue over your bottom lip. "Oooh, begging for me already, that’s so cute.” You slammed inside Suguru’s tight pussy. "Fuck—you're so tight~!!"
Suguru gasped before screaming out a moan while you thrust in and out. "F-Fuck yeah!! Just like that, oh god!!~ Princess!!” Hearing such pretty sounds only filled your desire, making you eager to move, to make him feel as good as he did for you.
"Fuck yeah~ what are you always saying? ‘You like me fucking your cunt slut?’”
“Yeah, I see why, fuck you feel so fucking good!!" Suguru cried out, his eyes rolling back. "Fuck! Princess!! Fuck, I'm your slut, god I want your cum so bad!!"
"Cum for me then~!" You commanded, reaching around and rubbing your clit in fast circles just as you knew your body liked it. "Cum all over my cock." Your thrusts were becoming erratic as you felt your balls tighten.
Suguru cried out, his head thrown back as he clenched hard on your cock. "Yesyes-Yes! Fuck, Princess!! Fuckfuckfuck-!!"
You followed immediately behind Suguru; your hips stuttered as you came hard, cum filling your pussy with thick white cum. "O-Oh fuck~!"
"H-Holy shit!!”
"Fuck, oh fuck." You panted roughly, looking down at Suguru, who was still trapped in your body. "That felt s-ao good."
"Holy hell, the cum feels so fucking good—"
“Yeah~ it makes you feel all nice and warm afterward.”
Your boyfriend moaned softly. "You know what feels even better? Fucking you with my cum~ I promise it feels fucking amazing give it a try."
You perked up at that, turning red, but you couldn't just take his word for it. You needed to feel it for yourself. So you slowly started thrusting back inside, moaning loudly.
"Oh god, you're fucking right, feels good.”
“I N-Nngh told you!”
You kissed Suguru eagerly, thrusting faster. Your boyfriend smiled softly, cupping your cheeks in his hands, kissing you deeply as he moaned into your mouth. You kissed back just as eagerly, stroking Suguru’s cheek. Your nails dug into his hips as you moved faster than you could think.
"F-Fuck, can't stop—! God, you feel too fucking good!"
Suguru moaned softly, smiling up at you. "F-Fuck~ I love you too, Princess, so cum in me again!”
You groaned, sucking his neck, leaving a trail of hickeys. "I will." You growled, nipping her earlobe. "I'm gonna keep cumming inside your pussy." your hip bucked, slamming against her cervix as spurts of hot cum filled Suguru, the sensation enough to throw him over the edge with you.
“Y-Yeah! Oooh fuck!” He cried out a moan, clawing at your back as he felt himself cum around your cock when you slammed deep into him. "C-Cumming!! Cumming Princess!!"
You gritted your teeth as you came inside your boyfriend again. That’s how you both were. You were just in sync with each other. Despite the fact, you were in each other’s bodies. You knew how to make the other field good; you wanted to keep going because you weren’t sure how long this side effect would last. But your lack of experience having a dick and poor stamina said otherwise.
"M’ sorry baby, I-I do-don't think I can go anymore. I can’t take it.” You feebly cried out before collapsing on top of your own body, winning a satisfied sigh from Suguru, who was underneath you.
“Honestly, I’m okay with that,” he said as he gulped air. “Fuck you’re probably gonna be sore in the morning. And I don’t wanna hear you complaining about it because this was your own doing.”
Your mind felt fuzzy as you just nodded your head nuzzling your boyfriend‘s face into the crook of your neck because you took in the afterglow and the rash of being near him in such an intimate way. Suguru hummed happily, running his fingers through your hair. He was honestly surprised you were able to go two rounds.
“Sleepy?” he asked softly, only receiving a hum in return. “Ooh—my sweet girl. Lay down for a minute, and let's cuddle before we take a shower.”
“Okay.” you finally could form coherent words as you lay down on your side, cupping your boyfriend's cheek. “Can I—”
“Yes, you can be the little spoon.” You weren’t sure how long the curse's effect would last, but as long as you were with each other, it didn’t matter. All that you cared about was coming home safely with Suguru and sleeping soundly in his arms, which made your dangerous job worth it.
Forever Tag List:
@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks @reap3erslov3 @wil10wthetree @luvsymai
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