#LIKE IM NOT EVEB KIDDING

[nylwnder]

TRAINING CAMP STARTED YESTERDAY. LEAFS GAME ON SUNDAY. READ THROUGH A BUNCH OF MEDIA DUMP. I FEEL MYSELF COMING ALIVE.

[ellearts]

Im gonna have a mental breakdown because of school

[saexy]

saexiest url ever :3

.. SAEXIEST TT .. but hoenstky it was available was teb funniest thing-

[gayspock]

actually

sorry i'll say itnow. realness i do get insanely depressed the more its said. like yep adults now. everyones over it . everyones grown and now the only thing there is left in life is places where we can only ever connect once every few months cuz we have lives . this will be everyone from here going forwards. and i cant even say shit cuz its not that i really even have that. right. like idont even know anyone like that. and this is pathetic as shit. butjust that sinking feeling of knowing its too late, youve completely missed out. turning to youryounger self like ok so you know how hard it is to deal with everything. so dude lookits not going to get better . every year it gets worse you slip farther away. it getsharder to ever crawl because. cuz this is the only opportuntiy you'll ever get to consistently talk to people and its forever shrinking. and youre less likeable less of everything every year and more and more and mroe and its jsut going and going. i know i wouldnt likeme i wouldnt want to talk to me i wouldnt spend my few seconds of free time trying to get to knowme and i know that i know that deep down like.

because even beforehtat eveb when it should have been eaiserand even now when giventhat you cant make it work and you'll constantly blow it and everyones going to settle around you, and specifically most definitely without you, so shriknk up and die and because why do youever kid yourself about anything andyou'll go from the guy people remember every few months, becuase that was already yoiur FUCKING STATE OF BEING, to the person who doesnt exist at all because all your fearsof living in the periphery of everyone and constantly being left outand never jsut. mattering . SORRY . were never anything but completely rational. ALWAYS cdompletely rational. and always founded to be true . why didnt you try harder why didnt you dobetter when thatsall you can ever try to do and it never means anything. soemtiems i get crayz ufcking insane houses walking around the fucking house scrathcing at walls not seeing niot talking to anyone in months years however long its been criyng myself to sleep blah blah blah yap yap yap ne ficlomg grateful someone with a life has rememebred you exist this week because it wont happen again until next year. FUCK you. like i wishi was some fucking sincerely digusting fucking crerature sometimes but the reality of justbeing nothing like just being nothing that anyone can really like inthe end because youre substanceless and forgettable and fartoo easy to let slip away and jsut meek fucking loser that just lets it happen because whatsthe fucking point. i cant do anything to force peopleto like me just let me go fucking die in my hole alone i dont care any more and i dont want to care and i hate fucking everyone and why didnt you try harde rwhy do i have to try so hard to force myself . why does ittake so much to try and feel like im tapped into anything why is it that its jsut so easy LIKE

its not even maliciuous it used to be it could be but even when it wasnt it wasnt malciious ti was just alwwayswas jsut that like. we move on without you we do everything without you we forget you we wont invite you youre no in the conversation i cant kEEP UP WITH THE CONVERSATION EVER I DONT UNDERSTAND ANYHTING i feel like evryones just always laughing at mee AND im crazy bitch im fucking crazy i dont know why i cant make it i dontknow why i can never make it its not meant to be a fucking . oh youre falling behind oh its a race oh its a compettiion theres never any other way to conceptualise it other than jsut THAT. i ithnik when i trytoo hard then yep i am ugly and whatever butwhat is there there is that orthere is jsut . I DONT EXIST i dont understand anyone or anyhting i cant even try to i dont feel a part of anyhting i feel so fucking isolated all the tiem i feel so fucking alone im so fuckngtired this is it thsi makes it worse all of that stuff makes it worse but i dont have the fucking energy the wherewithall to fight it off over and over and voer again when itslike what else is there what is there to live for whenit just never means anyhting it just never matters lik oh my godthis si the reason why youre alone becauseyou make into eveyrhting like this whenit jsut . was never justthat im tired im ssad i think theres soemthing wronggg with me except its nothing wrong with me imjust using that as a fuckingthing to grip onto like yep yep something WRONG WITH ME just RELAX AND IT WOULD BE FINE! OF COURSEIT WOULD BE! LIKE IT EVER WAS LIKE IT EVER WILL BE LIKE THAT WASNT WHAT YOU DO IN THE FIRSTPLACE LIKE ITS NOT EVERYTHING THAT KEEPS FUCKING TANKING LIKE . what do you do what do you i feelfucking crazy im drained i cant sleep IM ALWAYS SLEEPING i go to work i fucking spiral im bad at it i get out of work i sit in the dark for hours bcause i cant . manage anyhting im so tired im so sad its my fault for nto trying to talk to people, i could try i could spend the few seconds of energy i have . the little time i go out i cant talk to anyone its so hard the people who do see me fuckng scream slurs at me i want to die i want to not exist i noly exist in somefucking . i dont get it everyone else has something hwhy sis it so difficult why is it so hard what is wrong with me GCONSTANT FUCKING BACK AND FORTTHHH THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH MEEE IM SEARCHING FOR SOME ANSWER WHEN IM JSUT NTOHING BUT ALSO OH GODTHREREHS TO BE. WHY AM I NOTHING WHY AM I ALWAYS NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGG IM SO UGLY IM SO BAD AT EVERYTHING IM SO ANNOYING AND YOURENOT MEANT TO SAY THAT BUT ITS NEVER ANYHTING BUT TRUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND WHY CANT I SAY THAT WHEN THATS WHAT I AM THATS WHO I AM THATS ALL I'LL EVER BE AND THATS. WHY. IM ALWAYS GOING TO BE ALONEEE SNAKE EAT IT OWN TALIKL

[rodolfoparras]

Palladium anon here again :3 tho if it's not taken could I be the 🌱 anon?

and yes absolutely horn play is hot, especially when the character is really sensitive with them. Teasing them and/or using them as handle bars when fucking them??? Extremely hot. I've seen some ppl want to like fuck the horn and in theory I understand but most horns are pointy😭 you're gonna scratch up your holes bestie be careful

Also sharing my winx, trix , specialist and some others sexuality headcanons because I have been hyperfixated on this forever and I'm so happy to find other queer ppl to talk to about it!!

Helia and Flora are definitely bi or pan, you can not convince me otherwise. I'd say they're poly curious maybe?? Despite the show having every single couple go through a jealousy arc🙄 I think Flora and Helia would definitely be open to dating someone else if they both liked them

Riven, Bloom and Stella are all bi with a male preference

Layla and Naboo are a bisexual power couple and I will die on this hill

Musa and Timmy are bi with a fem preference.

Brandom is straight, mandatory for every queer friend group is the one cishet guy that's just there.

Sky is questioning, having gay thoughts from living in the dorms with other men and seeing them shirtless

Now I'll probably get hate for it but I think Tecna as an aroace lesbian is neat. Like her and Timmy were cute ig but I like tecna better on her own outside a relationship. Also her struggling with feeling like a human and more robotic fits with the unfortunate stereotype aroace ppl get. Her arc reminds me of what my aroace brother went through

And as I mentioned before, Palladium is definitely a bisexual transmasc! Avalon and Valtor are gay

Icy is a mean lesbian Darcy is bi with male preference. Stormy isn't sure what exactly she is but definitely not straight.

You can def be 🌱 anon sugar!!

And yes I def agree that the most appropriate ways when it comes to hornplay(word?) is to use them as handle bars, fidgeting with them to rile up your partner or even licking and sucking also one thing idk if this is possible but like if they could make the horns vibrate by humming and have the sound travel through their body and up to their horns?🧎🏻‍♂️

I def agree that helia and flora are bi or pan! Especially helia I’m not trying to say that gay ppl have a look bc fuck stereotypes but…look at this man I wouldn’t even be surprised if helia went by he/ they

Also I can def see riven as bi. One thing I rmr disliking is how toxic his and musas relationships became I’m sorry but it was so silly to me even at that age 💀 like every other episode there was jealousy drama

Also I forgot about Naboo man he was so pretty!!! And I can def see both of them being bi!

SUGAR IM FUCKING SCREAMING BC TWLL WHY I KNEW WHO BRANDON WAS BEFORE EVEB SEARCHING IT UP MOST ANNOYIMG ASS STRAIGHT MAN

Also yes!! I 100% agre that sky is bi curios big buff dude crushes on another big buff dude

Also I really like your take on tecna! Tbh I rmr even as. Kid i could understand she did not want to be in a relationship 💀

Avalon and valtor are definitely old gays 🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️

Also I like your take on the sisters! I don’t have much else to say bc lord knows they annoyed me in the show 😭

[auggies-dreamworld]

telling my friends abt

• how i got nearly disowned twice,

•kicked out once, • have had a year long addiction and got blamed for it(when i was 12-13), • am constantly shat on by my two sisters because eveb tho my older sister is 5 years older than me and have nevrt even started shit with her so idk what thts about,

• i got slammed into a brick wall headfirst as a young kid by my bully,

•hiw my childhood bully manipulated rveryone into hatong my in primary school,

•told my mum that i was suicidal and she walked away saying she couldnt deal with it at the moment(i was barely 12)

• tried to jump out a window as a kid

•had my best friend ripped away from me bc she was an online one and my mum found out that we’d been shit talking a girl we both knew togethrr (we had mutual friends)

•have massive depressive bouts where i just add and add to the pile until one day i just hit myself and sort it out

•got told by my counseller tk keep on cutting

•have people in my. head but not in a DID way like i control them and its almost everyone from most showe and shit i watch

• and j regularly walk into roads (when im alone) without looking just to try and get hit

:3

[honkygay]

What happened to pugilist pears and wine drenched teeth, if you don't mind me asking? (I think that's what they were called, my apologies if I'm incorrect)

ur right abt the titles!! and tbh im just leaving them ib the deep crevices of my brain for a while- i might get to it in a year might be ten i wouldn’t hold out much hope- im more focused on posting robert hunter fics and a few other fandoms atm.

plus i kinda fell out of love with my cfb au anyways- might make wine drenched teeth more angsty cuz i made mike morally clean and tbh i kinda sucked for that!! i shouldve kept the jaded parts of mike but instead i made him always morally right cuz at the time of writing it i didnt want to write that side of mental health and wasnt ready tbh but i think now id be more willing to write mikes road to fucked up self forgiveness yknow? of following down a path of self destruction to ‘make up’ for the damage he did (cuz he believes it was all his fault what his father did and is doing) so if i were to write fnaf fanfiction again it wouldn’t be cherry if im being perfectly honest.

but!! if anyone has questions on what WOULDVE happened i still have my notes and would be happy to answer!! ill just spoil it lmao i can eveb give u guys a timeline but i assumed my story just faded into the background cuz it wasnt like kids in america or his empire of dirt so its nice to know some of you guys still want to know what wouldve happened next :3c

[amontageofhell]

OMG omG wait so.....does this whole "fake dating" thing mean I get to date Zaira???? Bcs heLL yeAh I'm doWn!

WhO.....just whO in the right mind would be able to resist thiS beauty!?

[goldkirk]

.

[reigensarataka]

dude every day since sdcc i just wake up and remember.... damn. shiro is really out there being that buff gay. what an icon.

me, waking up for work @ 5am everyday: im so tired and sleep deprived i wanna di-me, remembering shiro is gay: oh nevermind :)

[chaekkung]

?? i just watched nct u's boss mv and honestly ?

1. taeyong and mark's verse together ended my life

2. where the fuck are winwin's lines

3. THE CHOREO SLAPS

4. WHY DOES WINWIN ACTUALLY HAVE 0 LINES

5. MARK'S RAPPING 💦💦

6. WHY DID WINWIN ONLY GET ONE SECOND OF SCREENTIME

7. DOYOUNG AND JAEHYUN!! IM BALDING 😩

8. WINWIN LITERALLY BREATHS INTO THE MIC ONCE ??????

[ropemp3]

man ive gotta vent but i dont even know what to say

[prenvii-moved]

h.hbomax has death in the family?..

[thetonethetollandthethunder]

Actually Citra and Rowan’s relationship is really good and the best relationship in the book (yes better than Greyson and Jerico) AND YES I WILL EXPLAIN IN HEAVY detail

Firstly, yes! It is a bit awkward in the beginning, because they ARE hormonal teenagers, they’re ONLY 16 in the first book, of course they’re gonna be juvenile, they’re kids. They don’t know what they’re doing. Their thrusted into a horrible situation where they can only really trust each other.

Let’s take their first kiss. An awkward moment but an important one to established their relationship.

Now this has been leading up for a while. Little hints here and there

They’re both thinking about it, them being together clearly. Both of them know it can’t happen, at least not right now. So Citra kisses Rowan, as an act to show, “We may want this, it can’t happen, so I’m gonna do this so we don’t WANT it anymore.” A way to quell it.

The two say they haven’t fallen in love with each other, and for Citra, that’s mostly true. She hasn’t really FALLEN in love with him yet. To her it’s still mostly platonic. But when Rowan says it he’s lying. HES fallen in love. He needs to know it can’t happen right then and there. And he understands, because the biggest part of Rowan’s character is that he CARES about Citra. He genuinely cares regardless on if he loves him or not, because he loves her, he cares about her.

Yes the scene is a bit awkward but thats the POINT. Don’t forget these two are 16 in the first book, of course they’re gonna be awkward THEYRE KIDS.

They’re forced to grow up due to their situation but at the end of the day they’re kids. And they’re gonna act like it at points.

Now let’s skip to end of the book, I’m sure we’re all WELL aware of this scene.

“I love you,” He said.

“Same here,” she responded. “Now get lost.”

AND ITS SO FUCKING GOOD MAN.

Citra doesn’t want to kill Rowan. She has shown that through-out the whole book. And she manages to not only not kill him, but make sure no one can glean him for a year. She’s planned this. And as Rowan is about to leave. He HAS to tell her. He’s on the run he doesn’t know when he’ll see her again IF he’ll see her again. He tells her he loves her.

And Citra loves him too. Because after their kiss her feelings became more and more clear. And she could say that because the rules didn’t matter. They just broke a rule, so it doesn’t really matter right now. But she knows it can’t be long, and he has to leave. “Now get lost” is a playful saying, so their last interaction isn’t too much. But something small, and fun.

These two scenes REALLY established things for the first book. BUT IM NOT DONE, NO NO NO.

Let’s jump to end of the the second book.

Now there’s a lot of moments that do establish their relationship but the ending really shows it off in its fullest.

The two know they’re gonna be deadish. They know they might not even be found for years upon years. In their final moments, it’s just them two. They don’t have to fight, they don’t have to be scythes. They can be themselves.

They can relax, have a bit of fun in their imminent demise. And the fact they can do that after everything shows how much they not only care about each other but need each other.

Now onto the Toll, there’s a lotta moment in here.

“Scythe Anastasia is not your concern.”

“She’s my only concern.”

This shows how Important Citra is to Rowan. She’s a big part of his development. Without her he’d still be the lettuce or something.

At this point he knows how important Citra is to the Future of the scythedom. He doesn’t have any other concern except her because the only thing he wants to see her.

The only thing that convinces him to not become deadish is Citra, because he knows she wouldn’t want that. That’s how much he cares about her,

“That won’t be a problem at all. Although after 117 years, your feelings may change.”

“They won’t,” said Rowan.

And they didn’t!

Eveb after 117 years HE STILL loves her. And now, when everything is finally over. They relax. They don’t have to be Scythe Anastasia or Scythe Lucifer. They can just be Citra and Rowan. Together and just be themselves for once.

THIS. This moment shows you how their relationship is. They care about each other SO MUCH. To the point where without each other they wouldn’t have overcome so many challenges.

And yes I DO think their relationship is better than Greyson and Jerico. DONT GET ME WRONG, I love their relationship. An explicitly queer relationship is amazing no matter what. But they have only had one book to develop their relationship. Citra and Rowan had 3, so their relationship is gonna be stronger yknow?

Anyways Citra and Rowan are the best relationship in the book and I have no regrets for writing this long ass essay!

Oh AND REST ASSURE I will be adding onto this when gleanings comes out and I reread the books DO NOT WORRY.

[ikyw-t]

timing is a funny thing.........

[moved-19871997]

what i've noticed is this fandom still veers young so even 18-20 years old you're usually in college right. and so they have such an over exaggerated idea of what Dream's mom does for him which is of course helpful esp for his situation But these young people have no frame of reference for actual independence so they don't know what Dream's responsibilities as a home owner and all the company stuff etc would be

(plus it sounds like during pandemic he was likely supporting his family and paying her to do these things but now has people he is calling his assistants to help him perhaps due to his mom having an actual job to return to + 2 kids who are in school to take care of)

yeah + a lot of people like 'young adult' age arent completely indepedant from their parents, i know that for the next couple years eveb tho im an adult im going to be slightly dependant on them (like the laptop im using rn and will use for anohter 5+ years my dad bought, my parents bought my car, half the clothes i have) even after im done w uni (that my parents have offered to help w accomodation rent) im not gonna. completly ignore them and i know its hte same for a lot of my friends and i imagine just a lot of people generally