#LIKE EXCUSE ME UNIVERSE WHAT ARE YOU DOING

[hugthesquids]

The whole interview for reference. It's got really nice characterisation!

Date of the interview: 07 January 2015 (This is when season 1 episode 35 "Lion 3: Straight to Video" was the latest episode out)

Newsarama: Hey Steven, thanks for talking to us!

Steven Universe: Happy to!

Nrama: Now, you're a little younger than who we usually talk to, so we wanted to make sure you had a parent or guardian present.

Steven:Yeah that’s cool! Here’s my dad!

Universe:Wow, I haven’t done an interview in ages! I’m Mr. Universe, uh, interstellar rock star! But it’s been a few decades since my last tour so I guess you can call me …Steven’s dad Greg!

Steven: Woo! Oh hey look, Pearl is coming over too. Hey Pearl!

Pearl of the Crystal Gems: Excuse me, excuse me, who are you and what exactly is going on here?

Greg: Newsarama’s doing an interview with us!

Pearl: I was asking this complete stranger, not you, Greg.

Nrama: …this is great! A rock star… and a rock from the stars!

Steven: Oh that's good!

Pearl: How much have you two told this human?

Greg: Don’t worry Pearl… this isn’t about Gems… it’s just about Steven.

Nrama: Okay, well, that brings me to my first question. Steven, you’re the first half human, half Crystal Gem, is that right?

Steven: Mmhm!

Pearl: Yes, he’s the son of the incomparable Rose Quartz! He’s inherited her Gem and her legacy.

Greg: …and I had a little to do with it! Uh… Steven… existing!

Nrama: Greg, I have to say, it's not every parent who'd let his son be trained by magical beings. Why do you feel it's important for Steven to live with the Gems?

Greg: I mean he’s got Rose’s Gem so… sooner or later we knew his powers might come out somehow, and I’m not much help in that department?

I mean, the Gems didn’t know much about raising a baby. That I get, I had that covered. But I don’t know much about being a Gem. They sure do, they’re really exceptional Gems. They’re really thoughtful, you know… they really try their best to understand people.

Pearl: Yes, people are wonderful.

Steven: Go people!

Nrama: And Pearl, I'm sure it must have been very unusual for you when you found out Rose Quartz had fallen in love with a human. What was what like for you?

Greg: Wow, you’re really zero to sixty with these questions, buddy.

Pearl: That is absolutely none of your business!

Nrama: Well, what about when you found out Rose Quartz was going to have a half-human child?        

Pearl: Brilliant leaders do brilliant things, that’s why you look to them for answers, answers no one else could have, that’s why you trust them, even when you can’t understand why they chose …Greg.

Greg: Well, ahh, we were so excited to see who Steven would be! When we… well, when we figured out that it might be possible!

And there’s never been anyone like him, and he really is a Gem and a human at the same time, it’s just incredible.

Steven: Yeah, I’ve been training and a lot of my powers are coming out! I can bubble up really easy these days, and I can warp on my own, and for a little bit I could even heal people and stuff.

Pearl: Yes! He’s been doing fantastic!

Greg: And he’s got my knack for music too! It’s really something, it’s unreal, you should hear him play!

Nrama: Wow that’s exciting! So Steven, you’re really talented.

Steven: Yeah! I can draw too! I drew last year's Beachapalooza flier! Guess what I figured out –  if you draw with a pencil but you draw really hard, you can smudge the line around with your finger and give everything really cool shading, and make shooting stars and comets… go look, the flier’s still up on the bulletin board at the Big Donut!

I want to get better at drawing… and I want to get better at my shield powers.

Nrama: You sound more excited about the flier than the shield powers!

Steven: Yeah, well, my flier came out really good and you can go see it! I’d show you my shield too, but I can’t make it come out whenever I want.

Pearl: Oh Steven, you’ll get it! You’ve manifested it twice!

Greg: Yeah I’ve seen him do it, it’s really something! He blocked this crazy water ball with it, and it gonged out all the water clones. It’s gorgeous, it’s Rose’s.

Steven: Thanks… yeah, I know I’ll get it… I’ve been practicing in the mornings! I just can’t seem to get it. Shield is harder than bubble I guess…

Nrama: Look, Steven, I didn't mean to make you self-conscious about your Gem abilities – besides, aside from all that, you seem like most other kids your age. Actually, it seems like you're pretty popular in Beach City!

Steven: Oh, I dunno about that! I just like talking to people, and then a lot of the time, they talk back! Ha!

Pearl: Human beings just adore each other, and Rose just adored human beings, so Steven is a real “people human,” as they say!

Greg: Heh… I think you mean “People person.”

Pearl: What? That can’t be right. That’s so redundant.

Nrama: So I have to ask – do you have any favorite comic books?

Steven: Oh man, me and Dad were going through all his old comics in the van! I got to keep a bunch of them, Casper, Richie Rich, Hot Stuff, Baby Huey, Spooky the Tuff Little Ghost… Wendy Witch…

Greg: I gave him lotsa Harvey Comics.

Steven: Dad says I can’t read his Heavy Metals till I’m older.

Greg: You can have those in a couple years!

Steven: Oh yeah and I just got the No Home Boys graphic novel adaptation! But I think it really missed the mark. And I like Sailor Moon. It’s really down to earth.

Nrama: And what's coming up for you?

Steven: I dunno, I guess anything could happen, that’s usually how it is! I met a new Gem recently, her name was Lapis Lazuli and she seemed really cool! She flew away to the Gem Homeworld!

Pearl: Steven, please. Look, stranger. There’s nothing to worry about. Earth is an independent planet, and Lapis Lazuli couldn’t possibly have made it all the way home.

Steven: What? Oh no, oh Pearl, you really think so?

Pearl: Or, well, Steven, I’m sure she did, yes, right, she definitely made it back, I’m sure she’s… having a really fun time… telling everyone… nothing!

Steven: … ok…

Greg: Hey! Hey, everything’s ok, whatever happens we can always roll with it, am I right?

Pearl: Yes, yes. We’ll roll! We are planning to roll.

Nrama: So, Steven – what is the best thing about being Steven Universe?

Steven: I get to be a Crystal Gem, and I learn a lot all the time, and hang out with Dad and with my friends …and everybody!

I’m changing a lot all the time, but that’s good, I think, since everybody changes all the time. I like it because even if you know somebody you can know them again, all the time, when they’re different, and what doesn’t change is how you feel, you know?

That can stay the same, which is really cool –  like if you love somebody, that’s the thing that can stay the same no matter what.

Greg: Ah boy, gosh Steven, what a really nice thought.

Pearl: Oh Greg, can you believe it, sometimes he sounds just like …well …just like Steven.

Greg: Yeah. He’s really somethin’ else.

Nrama: Thanks again for talking to me!

Steven: You’re welcome! Crystal Gems forever!

Greg: Hey yeah thanks! Keep watching the skies! Haha hahaha… heh!

Pearl: No ah, please don’t! We’ll take care of everything. Stay safe, human!

in-character interview with newsarama by rebecca sugar, 2015

this official steven universe interview is no longer available on the website, but it’s archived!

it’s canon & written by rebecca sugar, an interview of the characters pearl, greg, & steven.

there’s some really sweet and subtle pearlrose moments, i particularly love this one:

steven: i'm changing a lot all the time, but that's good, i think, since everybody changes all the time. i like it because even if you know somebody, you can know them again, all the time, when they're different, & what doesn't change is how you feel, you know? that can stay the same, which is really cool. like if you love somebody, that's the thing that can stay the same no matter what.

greg: steven, what a really nice thought.

pearl: oh greg, can you believe it, sometimes he sounds just like—well, just like steven.

greg: yeah, he’s really something else.

pearl stops herself before she can say rose, because that would be quite awkward in the interview setting. she also says she trusts rose & calls her incomparable. there’s a bit of jealousy with greg, because the timeline is at around the beginning of the show, so pearl hasn’t really found closure yet & is questioning things. eventually she’ll understand that rose never chose a partner over her, but anyway! really cute & canon pearlrose here.

[honey-flustered]

Kinktober Day 18: Aphrodisiac + Oral Fixation + Body Hair

Eddie Brock | Venom x Ex!Younger!F!Reader

Summary: Venom uses honey from your purse to whip up some tea for you and Eddie while helping you study. Little did he know, that honey has some…interesting side effects.

Warnings: dub con elements, exes to friends to lovers, accidental aphrodisiac, sub!eddie x horny!reader, consumption, teratophillia, not lore accurate, oral fixation (licking, biting), some scratching, oral through underwear, premature ejaculation, body hair kink, some hair pulling, threeway kiss, venom and reader are in cahoots, french kissing, some dry humping, age gap +18 reader, bimbo!reader, basically whole lot of tongue action

To this day, 7 months later, Venom still curses Eddie for letting you go. Blah, blah…she’s young and going to university…blah blah…new experiences. If long distance is really that hard, why is it that it only took Eddie 3 hours to drive to your dorm? If he was committed to your throupling, he’d make the commute everyday to see you.

But Ole Venom supposes he shouldn’t be too hard on Eddie. After all, he’s attentive enough to Venom where he notices his changes in mood. Especially when Venom’s in one of those depressive states where he desperately misses you; with the occasional breaking of items to cope with his pained feelings. Whenever he’d get this way, Eddie would take them up go a trip to you and you’d be the three musketeers.

This weekend being a three-day weekend excited Venom for things he had in store. He’s determined to win you back even in spite of what Eddie says because sometimes he just needs a push in the right direction.

Venom likes to think he’s become that of an expert at romance, having read enough gossip magazines and advice columns to say as such. He knows the love languages and he’ll be sure to use his tongue precisely for speaking them to you.

Yeah, he knows Eddie’s been suspicious of his saint behavior since their arrival—the rules were clear not to make any plans of winning you back—but Venom’s entitled to a little bit of rule-breaking. He hovers around, content as he watches Eddie and you laughing during your study session. If he sets the mood just right, things would get more intimate.

He then recalls a fact he’d gotten from an issue of Chic Heat Magazine that explains how tea can make people more susceptible to suggestion because it calms you. If you’re relaxed enough, you might take them back.

So he excuses himself to the kitchen, preparing some rose tea for you all to enjoy. You’d just run out of honey but you had some packets he’d noticed in your bag earlier, hopefully you don’t mind.

Once he returns to the circle, you beam at his gesture. “V…you are such a cutie. Thank you so much.”

“I wouldn’t say that too soon,” Eddie says in a tone that is both jest and serious. “We’ll check the state of the kitchen in a minute.”

You shrug. “No worse than the state I left it in.”

“You’ve gotta be more responsible, babygirl.” He frustratedly sighs.

“I’m studying. That’s pretty big for me,” You defend. “Usually I’d just flirt with the T.A. for the test answers or cram the day of. But I’ve been trying because you said I could do it.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Really proud of you, buddy.” He says, patting your knee and earning a smile from you.

Then, you’re taking a sip of your tea wanting to give Venom the praise he deserves. Your eyes brighten soon as the first sip stains your tongue and goes down your throat . “This is really good, V. Seriously. I couldn’t have done this better myself. What’d you put in it?”

“Honey…” He begins.

“Oh, I could’ve sworn I ran out—”

“…the ones in your purse.” He finishes.

Your eyes nearly leave your skull. “H-how many?”

“5,” He answers proudly. “Wanted to make it extra special for you.”

“Oh, it’s extra special alright.” You say with a nervous laugh.

“Everything okay?” Eddie asks in concern.

“Mhm,” You hum between a strained toothless smile. “L-let’s go back to studying, yeah?”

“What’s in those things?” Eddie questions, his investigative nature getting the better of him.

“Nothing to be concerned about…” Your words escape you when you see that Venom has already retrieved the emptied packet for Eddie to review.

“Sweet Honey Rush? You said you wouldn’t intern with these guys,” Eddie says. “Didn’t you read my story on them secretly being behind these campaigns for increasing the national birth rate. I sent you a link on Facebook. We’re like breeding stock to them.”

“No person younger than 35 uses facebook anymore, Eddie,” You argue. “And besides they were offering some really good benefits if I interned with them.”

“Like getting free honey packets?”

“They aren’t for me…they’re for me to give out to some college students. It’s the new craze. Everyone’s talking about. There’s even a challenge of it on TikTok. You wanna see?” You’re about to pull out your phone but he stops you.

“Don’t you see that they’re purposely targeting the younger population?” Eddie scoffs.

“No, I think I gave one to my pervy old maintenance man,” You justify but Eddie shakes his head in disbelief at you. “Oh come on. It’s not like they’re as good as you think them to be. Venom said he’s added five and you don’t see me on all fours with my tongue out, do you?”

“I guess you’re right.” He says.

“Good. Now pretty please read me the next chapter.”

He smiles. “Of course.”

Venom is stumped. This is not at all going the way he’d planned. Instead of relaxing, it’s only made things more tense between the two of you. He was going to need to intervene internally.

“It’s taking effect.” Venom says from within.

“How are you so sure?” Eddie answers back into the mindscape.

“Come on, Eddie, I know it’s been months. But tell me you haven’t forgotten the way she looks when she really, really wants you,” Venom purrs. “Look at those eyes glossing over, darkening when she rakes them over you. She’s biting her lip—ha! She isn’t paying attention to your words.”

“You’re wrong. It’s nothing like that.” Eddie says trying to maintain focus by reading to you.

“I’ve been inside her once,” Venom continues. “I can sense the changes in her body even long after we’ve separated.”

“She’s just fine.” Eddie says in clear denial.

“Then ask her if she heard what you just said. Better yet ask her anything, she’ll probably say ‘yes’ to it all if it meant having our cock inside her.” Venom chuckles wickedly.

He’s reluctant, not wanting to embarrass you, but Eddie tests Venom’s theory anyway in hopes to quell his curiosity. Why on Earth would you want them back when you had so many different options at college? The sooner Eddie could disprove his claims, the sooner they can put aside that hopeful part of them that thinks the relationship could work.

“Hey, um, by any chance do you wanna share a jar of olives together?” He asks.

“Yes.” You sigh dreamily.

He perplexedly blinks at your reply to his absurd question. You hated olives.

“Babygirl, are you paying attention?” He asks.

“Mhm.” You nod still looking at him as if he hung up the stars. And now that Venom pointed it out, Eddie, too, could see your telltale sign in just the way you clenched your thigh together alone.

“Oh, really,” He asks, cupping a hand under your chin; his fingertips dimpling your cheeks. “What did I just read to you?”

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?”

“We’re studying American History, angel.” He smirks.

“Sorry, daddy,” You say, taking them completely off guard. Eddie hates how he instantly hardens at thought as if he’d taken the aphrodisiac, too. “Can I make it up to you? Taste you.”

“Yes!” Venom says.

“No,” Eddie protests. “You’re not in the right state of mind, missy. You’re going to bed, if you decide to take care of yourself on your own that’s your choice. In the morning if you still feel like you want to, then we can—”

“It’s only an aphrodisiac, dude. Not a drug. I’m not out of my mind for wanting you inside me. Both of you.”

“We’re in!” Venom says ready to reach out for you but Eddie smacks his dark tendril from your reach.

“No, we’re—” Eddie’s cut off by your lips on his. Somehow, Venom was able to sneak his mischievous tentacles around and bring your heads together.

You immediately get to work french kissing him passionately and tugging the hair on the back of his neck. His beard burns your face from the rough friction of the make-out session but it doesn’t deter you from being more forceful.

Venom’s tongue joins into the entanglement flicking and gliding between you and Eddie’s tongues, gathering a mixture of your salivas.

When Eddie breaks the kiss, you’re at his thick neck licking and biting away while Venom’s eager tongue, slithered and constricted around your body like vines.

“Stop. You don’t…” Eddie’s interrupted by yet another one of your lingering wanton kisses, finishing his sentence once you break apart. “…want this.”

“I’ve never stopped wanting you,” You suck on the space connect jaw and his neck before dragging your teeth along the vein. “Please fuck me.”

Eddie’s still too afraid to answer, cradling the back of your head while your lips and tongue continue their assault on his body.

“Fuck, babygirl,” He groans, missing this feeling of you devouring him as if he were a buffet. You and Venom were always big tongue enthusiasts wanting to put your mouths around anything that attracted you including Eddie.

His eyes flutter shut and you crawl into his lap, grinding your hips down while you tasted what you could. You pay special attention to his plump lips, licking and biting them.

“Can I go further?” You ask him.

“You heard Venom—”

“What do you want?”

“I want you.”

At his admission you moan, not being able to take it anymore. You and Venom work in sync. He begins to remove Eddie’s clothes while each sink that’s exposed you go over it with your tongue.

Eddie’s really hairy so occasionally your tongue would run over a patch of hair and you’d give it special attention.

“Fuck, I think I might actually cum from this alone,” He laughs bashfully, surprising himself. “I’m so sensitive for some reason.”

You dip your tongue into his belly-button, swirling it around before your tongue finally trails down to his throbbing bulge. It jumps in his khaki shorts the moment you place your tongue’s pressure directly on it. He shudders, his fingers through your hair.

The feverish heat of the effects take over you just as you pass the first barrier, bringing his pants down around his ankles. Venom lifts you by the waist for a moment, adding a pillow underneath for your knees. You run your fingers along the underside of his tentacles—where it’s most sensitive for him—as a thank you.

You’re not gentle at all once you spot the wet spot on Eddie’s underwear. He’d cum already and had been too ashamed to speak up. He could already see you making an old man joke about him needing the honey packet more than you but instead you went for his soul.

Immediately, you clamp your mouth around the clothed tip to suck at the sticky essence. It’s so sensitive he could cry, it’s as if the aphrodisiac is giving him a contact high.

He tries to pull your hungry mouth from him but is thwarted when Venom wraps a snaky limb around his wrists, pinning him down.

“Oh god, fuck. Baby…please.” Eddie whimpers.

You drag your nails along his little belly, gripping and pulling the tiny hairs of his happy trail while you sucked him off. Another one of Venom’s tendrils finds their way between your legs, teasing your little nub. You let out a shuddery gasp, your warm breath skirting over his now exposed veiny length.

You trace your tongue on the lightning-patterned cock, tasting the addictive earthiness of him. You’re gushing wet and ready to their cock and Venom could very well slip a wriggling tendril inside of you this instant��

…but he’d rather Eddie get first dibs.

[maiden-of-the-waters]

Oceans Rebirth

Summary; Bèiké’s control is slipping, her mind is breaking, storms ravage the land, droughts rage and fishermen yield nothing. When the Buddha is consulted, he offers a solution to her and her alone, but it’s not answer Bèiké really wanted to hear. Can she do what needs to be done before Sun Wukong interferes?

Warning; Angst, broken minds, arguments, hurt/kinda-comfort, self sacrifice, this was before Bèiké knew she was one of the true immortals. Art depicting mild gore. Please read with caution.

Taglist; @vap0rwave-dr34ml4nd @tunadunanana @szynkaaa @marcu-bug @s0rr3l @bottyshaker-900o (if you want to be added let me know.)

It’s finally done!!! 😭😭Strap in folks, this is going to be a long one.

————————————————————

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

————————————————————

Being stretched so thin makes it difficult to be where I am in the moment… It’s hard to be everywhere at once, all the time…

Those are words that Bèiké has said more times she than could count. Words filled with exhaustion and a reality she had no choice but to accept.

Her mortal mind ever the servant to the very thing she immortally personified.

Part of her often wondered if the universe had made a mistake. Should she exist as she is? What if the water was just supposed to just stay water?

Why have a body? A consciousness?

Why possess a human heart?

The human body is such a fragile form to hold when you are Water.

As she lounged in a plush pillow-nest that filled a luxurious room within the palace of the Water Curtain Cave, her thoughts cause another morose sigh to escape from her. Which - in turn - caused a disgruntled chirp to rip her from her thoughts as she turned to face her ever wandering attention back onto her Simian Stone Brother.

Who, in turn, stared at her with sulking expression.

“Your mind wandered again.” Sun Wukong stated matter-a-factly. His tone as grumpy as his expression. The Great Sage not liking being anything less than the center of attention.

Instinctively, Bèiké’s mind filtered through a hundred possible excuses before she settled her mind and sighed. “I’m sorry brother… it’s hard to be here today.” She answered honestly.

Sun Wukong blinked. His expression loosing its annoyed grouch as he moved to sit a bit closer, getting in her space until their knees touched, his hands went to grip hers. She tensed at his proximity but didn’t move away, allowing him to initiate contact.

For all his foolishness and impulsive nature, he what he wasn’t was dull-witted.

“Hard-to-be-here as in, within this cave? Or hard-to-be-here as in, being in a body?” He gave her hands a gentle squeeze. Having known about her mind’s struggle to exist within her human form for a while now. Having found her dangerously dazed on more than one occasion when she had come to visit him and the Phoenix Maiden on the mountain of Flowers and Fruit he proudly called home.

Her mind had been so scattered that she neglected the body she - for reasons unknown to everyone accept the Buddha - possessed. She’d forget to eat, forget to move, forget to breathe, and in extreme circumstances, she’d forget to make her heart beat.

Her eyes would be open but staring at sights that weren’t in front of her. Sun Wukong had been forced to jerk her consciousness back into her body on multiple occasions, even biting her harshly to shock her out of her dazed state. Kick-starting her heart back up.

He had - back then - harshly scolded her for allowing herself to get to that state until he had learned just what had caused it. What she was constantly fighting. What she was eternally trying to hold together with no breaks or reprieves or mercy. He pitied his sister as much as he found himself begrudgingly admiring her.

Now, she stared at his hands as she tried to focus on the Monkey King in front of her, not the rush of the water curtain cave as it beat the rock into submission, not focus on the fish swimming through the veins of the river or the clouds overhead moving as though on a breath.

She tried to focus on the soft fur, not the whales casting their bubble nets to catch fish on the other side of the world, their songs vibrating her ears. Or the blood running through the creatures of the worlds veins as they ran, or slept, or played, or fought, or-

A louder chirp made her flinch back to reality as she met the glowing ember eyes her brother ever possessed, staring at her with more than a little worry.

“Is it getting harder sister? Tell this Sun Wukong and I will do what I can to assist.” His stone calloused hands rubbing over her arms in an attempt to ground her, his nails gently scraping and pinching against her skin. Trying to comfort her in the way his people do.

She sighed and closed her eyes, allowing herself to be grounded as she leaned forward slightly to rest her forehead against his. His heat a steady anchor against her normally cool skin.

He cooed at his little sister. The sound reverberating from the back of his throat. For all his playful nature and mischievous tendencies, Sun Wukong, the great sage equal to heaven, was a good king who cared for his people. And he had claimed her as one of his. His nature wouldn’t allow him to be anything less than attentive to the woman he had taken as his younger sister.

So he took it in stride when his normally reserved and touch-adverse sister gripped the fur on his upper arms.

She gently rubbed her nose against his. “Forgive this Bèiké, Wukong. You should be anticipating the celebrations for the Day of your birth, you only have 4 full moons left… not worrying about a woman slowly going mad.” She released the hold she had on his fur with a sigh. “I can hear the voices of the water calling me, I don’t think I am strong enough to fight them anymore… do you blame me?”

Wukong nuzzled his forehead against hers with a soft coo. “Of course not dear sister. You’re forced to stretch yourself thin, I can’t blame you for something you have no control over. Go and rest. Regain your strength so that you can better worship this Sun Wukong later.” He grinned and gave her ear a chaste nip, hooting out a laugh when she flinched back and glared at him. “As you say, there are four months until the day of my birth is here. I expect great presents from you for my birth celebrations. An offering as great and handsome as I.”

She blew out a breath in his face to get him to back further away from her, which he did with his own flinch that left her chuckling. “Worry not brother, I plan on gifting you a treasure that will surely enhance your glory. Mayhaps it will also grant you some humility.”

“How dare you, insolence! I am a Pious Buddhist.” Wukong guaffs, crossing his arms, scowling but happy she’s feeling better enough to play with him.

“Yes and the Lady QuanYin throws celebrations every night for the inebriated.” She rolls her eyes as she gets to her feet. Finally giving into the urging of her voices in her mind commanding her to return to the sea.

“Your faith in this Sun Wukong is lacking sweet sister.” He pouts, snapping his teeth at her.

“I simply see the truth of you dear brother.” She smiles back at him as she steps to the Water Curtain, visibly relaxing as the spray drizzles across her skin.

She turned to give him one last hug before she allowed her physical form to quite literally melt away, rejoining the water curtain, then the river, then the ocean. Where she expanded to a vast nothing that was everything.

It was much easier to think when she didn’t have a physical form. Flesh, bones, organs and a functioning brain are complex and hard to maintain. It was much easier to exist when she didn’t need to worry about feeding her immortally mortal body, or keep track of her limbs, organs and senses.

The waters, or more specifically, allowing herself to rejoin the waters gave her clarity.

And she took advantage of that clarity.

The celebrations of Sun Wukong’s birthday for one. She already had an idea of what she wanted to gift him.

The storm summoning whistle and the abyssal armor.

Both grand and glorious and would be useful to him in his battles should he need to regear up to defend his kingdom.

Useful gifts, gifts that will give her brother a fun gleam in his eye. Gifts she knew Sun Wukong would love.

As whales sung in the distance, sharks made their migrations, carp fought their way upriver, children played in the streams, rain rehydrated the land and all the other things the waters of the world did, Bèiké thought about her families and friends, and wondered what they would do next.

And she tried not to think about how it was getting harder and harder hold her body in its physical state. Her chest painfully tight, her lungs stuttering.

She didn’t want to think about a fact so scary it had left her weeping in her hidden rooms on more than one occasion.

She may be immortal… but her body was failing.

And nothing could stop it or slow it’s failing down.

She didn’t know when it started, if she had to put her finger on a specific timeframe. Perhaps it was always that way and she only became aware of it the past hundred years or so. Or maybe it was just a switch that day she grew aware of her mind becoming more and more disoriented.

And as vast as the knowledge in the ocean was, there was little that could be done to stop a human body from being crushed by it.

But she didn’t want to think about that.

So she forced her wandering thoughts back to what she could get for her friends and family when she returned to her palace.

————————————————

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

————————————————

Bèiké remembered the first thing she ever heard. She didn’t know when exactly her consciousness had begun, only that she had one day become aware of the fact she had one.

“There you are, what a beautiful child you’ll become. Welcome to the world, Maiden of the Worldly Waters.”

The voice had been masculine in nature. But gentle and happy. The voice one should associate with a person meant to be a mentor or a guide.

She had known with a certainty she didn’t know she possessed that it was the Voice of the Buddha. And she had decided she liked his voice before she even knew what it was to ‘like’ or ‘dislike’ something.

The ocean is old, timeless and ever shifting, No one truly knows exactly how old the Waters of the world are.

By the time that thought occurred to Bèiké, she was already a part of it. And to have a consciousness be born of the waters is an unexplainable experience.

Bèiké remembered the first time she opened her eyes.

She was in the deep ocean, the light far away but still visible. She felt so small yet far too large at the same time. She felt powerful yet small, loved and feared, wild and free.

Her first act had been to head to the surface, the light had been so beautiful from under the waves and she had wanted to see it up close.

The first time she stepped out of the water and onto land it was a wild storm. She laughed with the thunder and danced in the rain. Making it dance around her in turn with nothing but the mist to cover her modesty

The world felt so alive.

She can’t recall now how long she had danced. Only that when the storm had finally calmed, she was back in the middle of the ocean, the waves creating flowing skirts around her hips and her hair covering her chest to flow into the waters as pearls formed to begin adorning her.

She was sitting on top of the waters, leaning back to watch the clouds when they arrived.

She remembered thinking how pretty and bright their armor was, how delicate their movements. The bright objects they held gleaming in the light and appearing to glow - she’d later learn that they were called swords and spears, weapons. - And they guided down a Man and a Woman to stand before her.

Bèiké remembered thinking that the man’s clothes and hair were radiant. And that his brow was stern.

The woman, similarly, was a stunning beauty. Something about her felt familiar to Bèiké, and even without the older woman saying a word, the maiden knew in her heart that she was fond of her.

The conversation had been brief. Having been so long, Bèiké struggled to remember exactly what was said,l that day, but they held curiosity and caution towards her. Bèiké, in her innocence of being newly formed and freshly capable of speech, and done little help relieve any suspicion.

When she simply told them she was water, that they stood on her body, that they held her within them, it was the older woman, who introduced herself as the Lady Mazu, who confirmed their suspicion.

The Lady Mazu was delighted, and took the maiden as her own right away, giving her the name she most popularly went by. “Bèiké” little seashell, her precious ocean gift. Encouraging the Jade Emperor, to agree.

———

The time in the jade palace had been a time of great learning, how to read and write, proper speech and posture, songs, poetry and dance, palace life and hierarchy, avoiding the empress and her secretive glares and false niceties.

Bèiké was kept busy

So busy, that it took a long time for the whispers to be heard.

She remembered when it happened the first time.

A dinner banquet for one of her brother’s promotions had been coming to a close. Beike had remembered being on edge all day but not knowing why. Her precious attendants, Tian Shui and HeHua were similarly concerned.

It had snuck up on her, like a snake hidden by shadows, coiled and ready to strike. Bèiké had no idea the danger was so close. Perhaps that was why it had snuck up on her with such success.

It wasn’t a trickle of sound that steadily grew louder, no. It had been a cascade. The dam bursting and the floodgates flying open.

Beike had collapsed holding her hands over ears, trying to block out a torrent of sound that was coming from her mind.

Rushing through her like a wild river and a riptide combined. The crash of noise that left a single repeating message in the front of her mind.

“I must return.”

She didn’t remember her body fading or her return to the water. Only that when the sound finally, finally stopped, and she was able to open her eyes once more, she was deep in the ocean. The only sound she could hear was the beating of her own heart.

Relief.

The rest was a blur, vaguely aware of dragons, great, shining, metallic beasts coming and checking on her on behalf of her royal family. But even the exchanged worse were fuzzy at best. Eventually she was able to “Wake Up” again and come out of the waters and she was later told she was gone for three weeks.

————————————————

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

————————————————

She had learned since the day of her brothers promotion banquet, when the crescendo washed over her and forced her back to the ocean for over a fortnight. She had learned the signs to look for and the whispers to pick up on.

It didn’t completely disappear the problem, however it made it more predictable. She knew when she had to return to water, to listen to the voices before it was too late and the whispers went from a whisper to a scream, a small request to be heard to a deafening demand to be obeyed.

Instead of a tidal wave of noise that appeared all at once, it had in time become a creeping whisper that steadily grew louder at a much more tolerable rate.

Still…

It was easy to get lost in the whispers of her own nature. The waters from around the world, the clouds above growing fat with rain, the ebb and flow of the waters over the land, the last dried breath of the parched to the gasping struggles of the drowning. The rivers widening and bending, the lakes and ponds rising and falling.

Life ever moving, water ever flowing. And her mortal, human mind struggled to keep up.

It was getting worse…. How frustrating.

“My Beike!”

She jumped back to her body and blinked at her adopted mother, the Lady Mazu’s eyes fixed on her with worry, her hand clutching hers in a grip as tight as her delicate hold would allow.

Bèiké gripped her skirts as she forced her attention back to her present body.

“Mother, I am here.”

The goddess of the Sea and guardian of sailors looked at her daughter with eyes filled with doubt and worry. “…Are you?”

Bèiké sighed, unable to lie to her. “For the moment… I’m sorry mother.”

The Lady Mazu furrowed her brow and gave her daughter a chastising look. “Naughty girl, why must you make your poor mother worry so?” She sighed, gently ran her fingers through her daughter’s hair, untangling the pearls that inlay the long sea-colored strands before gently cupping the young woman’s cheek. “I am worried for you dear, I fear that I see less and less of you. And then when I do see you, I can’t entertain the joy in my heart because your eyes are still far away.”

Despite knowing it wasn’t truly her fault, Bèiké still felt guilt tighten her chest at her mother’s distress. “I have failed you mother, I haven’t been filial. I beseech you to forgive your foolish child.” Bèiké pressed her cheek into her mother’s touch, her hands soft and warm, soothing, grounding.

“Oh you silly girl. How can I blame you? I should be the one apologizing.”

Bèiké sucked in a harsh breath and flinched back. “What? No! Mother you mustn’t, I should’ve never put you in this position of worry.”

Lady Mazu simply sighed and and summoned her regalia, sitting up straight, fixing her skirts and holding her head high. “I am the mother of the sea, I can sooth storms and protect sailors, I am a guide, a saint and savior…” her face filled with sadness again. “Yet I can’t sooth your mind, I can’t guide you home… I can’t protect your heart. You must forgive your helpless mother.”

Bèiké shook her head, unwilling to let her mother take the blame for her. “My lady please, there’s nothing to forgive, I have never blamed you. Mother. I owe the person I am today thanks to you.”

“Oh my sweet child. I only wish I could fix your mind.”

The conversation had then turned to more light-hearted topics after that. Mother and daughter catching up and Bèiké happily gifting her mother with precious treasures from the deep, enriching her palace evermore. Doing her filial duty to the woman who adopted her as family.

They both tried to avoid the forbidden topic of the Pearl Maiden’s mind.

————————————————

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

————————————————

It started a month ago with a single storm.

Bèiké had been swift to quell it. But it had devastated all the same.

Not in damage or loss of life. No.

In fact, since it had been in the middle of the ocean, nothing had been harmed. It was devastating in a far more subtle way.

Bèiké had had no control over it.

It had been created without her conscious control, and despite being water, it resisted her command.

That shouldn’t have been possible.

She Was water.

Quelling a storm was a simple to her as raising a hand above her head. And yet…

She felt fear take root in her stomach, her hands shaking as she kept them clenched to her chest.

She was losing control…

What did that mean for her? What did that mean for water? Her mind scrambled to find an answer but there was none to be had.

She had been far too frazzled to return to the Jade palace, she couldn’t risk the courtiers, the eunuchs, or even her precious attendants observing her in such a state.

But in desperate need for some sort of connection, something to stop the torrent of panic flooding through her, she went in search of it among people who wouldn’t judge her for being anything other than the gentle princess.

And so it was, that she had found herself on the mountains of flowers and fruit. And Sun Wukong, though surprised, had welcomed her into his home all the same.

“Pray tell brother - and you mustn’t judge me for this query- but say you feel like you’re loosing control over your body. How would you handle such a dilemma?” It was a question Bèiké had casually asked the victorious fighting Buddha hours after they had sat for dinner. Wukong’s limbs had been loosened with his favorite wine, he had been coming down from his more festive mood that had started the evening with his people.

Still, he gave the question some serious thought all the same… or as serious as the wine allowed him to be.

He answered her as he fell back, draping himself across her lap and putting her hand into his golden mane, demanding some head scratches. She obliged him as he answered her, his eyes shut and the smile on his face content.

“I would try to think about what could possibly be causing this body of mine to be so bold as to disobey its master.” He grinned all teeth. “If I came up with nothing, had no pompous trickster cursed me, had no imperious scalawag tried to poison me somehow, I would simply assume it was an internal issue and I’d open myself up to take an intimate look.”

She blanched as she looked at him. “I don’t presume you’re being metaphorical in your words.”

Wukong hooted out a laugh at her expression. “I take it Brother Wujing and my dear Phoenix didn’t tell you the story of the three insufferable Tao priests who presumed to be immortal?”

Bèiké slowly shook her head as she resumed his head scratches as his whined persistence. “No, I don’t believe anything involving Taoist priests came up.”

Wukong shrugged. “Well, it’s no matter, this Sun Wukong can happily give you a demonstration.” He jumped out of her lap and hopped to his feet. “Little monkeys! Go get this Old Sun a sharp blade! Watch as your great king demonstrates his greatness!”

Bèiké insisted he didn’t need to prove his immortalities to her of all people, she was there for the aftermath of Lao Tsu’s furnace incident afterall.

However Wukong was already too deep in his feverish mania to be stopped, he wanted to brag and show off, and so he would. Bèiké doing her best to not be obvious in her looking away.

She had politely excused herself shortly after getting him drunk off of his favorite wine again so that her departure wouldn’t be noticed.

Well that had been…

Graphic…

Fruitless in answers as well… she doubted ripping herself apart to look at her own insides would enlighten her to the answered she desired.

She couldn’t even hold a physical form for long, let alone focus long enough to disembowel herself. Wukong was mad she decided, utterly mad. Not that that was really surprising news to her.

Still…

As her heart thumped audibly in her chest, she laid a hand against it as she found herself thinking.

As the waters churned around her, and she felt her control slipping bit by bit as the sun began to brighten the sky once more, she contemplated…

————————————————

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

————————————————

Bèiké huddled in a corner of her room, her head in her hands as her body shook.

“You’re okay, you’re okay, keep it together, you have to breathe.” She repeated that mantra to herself over and over.

The whispers were a near constant yell in her mind now. And much to her horror, control had fully slipped weeks ago.

And even worse, she couldn’t return to the water.

She was stuck in her human body, and as her mind and nature struggled to return to its source - return to water - it beat and slammed against the fragile, mortal shell like a vicious trapped beast. Shredding and biting and screaming.

It hurt so bad.

Her need to return was a constant pounding in her head. Her mind ripping itself apart.

Water acted now without her permission, her own body betraying her. Storms either ravaged the land or refused to hydrate the land entirely.

Massive floods and severe droughts were reported around the world. The loss of life had already overwhelmed the kingdom of shadows, the underworld was choking on the dead.

Fishermen, too, yielded nothing. No fish, no urchins, no crabs or shrimp, no octopus, not even seaweed were successfully caught.

And combined with the severe droughts and floods, the mortals were starving and thirsty.

And as mortals do when desperate; They prayed.

Prayed for relief, prayed for mercy, begged for something to save their families and themselves.

The gods, celestials and denizens of the sea did what they could. But fighting a never ending storm was no simple task.

The Lady Mazu had run herself to the ground in exhaustion trying to sooth the storms and save the people with little to no results. The waters disobeying her as much as they had sliced themselves loose of Bèiké.

Her heart thumped painfully in her chest, causing her to sob as she sucked in a breath that she distantly realized she had not taken for 7 minutes. Black spots littering her vision as her mind was pulled in a thousand different directions.

Someone spoke to her, the sound of the voice echoing in her head like so much agony, she flinched away from the sound and clenched her hands over her ears tighter.

“Breathe, you have to breathe, keep breathing.” She mumbled reminders to herself as she manually counted her breaths.

Thunder crashed far too close, the rain beating on the windows- against the walls, the clouds holding the city churning, the panicked blood flow of the guards and citizens,

Flood washing poor creatures away, areas of dead space that refused to be quenched, lighting striking the ocean in an electrified jolt, wind blowing far too quickly, the sun being blocked out. The world darkening.

Pain… so much pain.

She sobbed, feeling it all, begging it to end.

That voice again, more insistent, but just as painful. She shook her head and whimpered, it was too loud to hear.

She was only vaguely aware of the shadowed figure walking away from her quickly on hurried footsteps.

Her mind was beset by the suffering of those below, weak heartbeats, panicked breaths, last breaths, waters’ destruction. She couldn’t focus.

It hurt.

Help… She doesn’t know if it was said out loud or not. Someone please help me

“Some-ing…Done… this-ing t-.. kill her.” She couldn���t tell how close those words she heard were. She didn’t know who said them or what they were talking about. She couldn’t even focus before her mind was pulling her to look at the great western oceans, another storm violently being born.

“Stop… please…” she didn’t know who she was begging. “You’re hurting them.”

A twisting turret of water shot into the sky to connect to violently twisting clouds above, dragging life into it and breaking their bodies. Bèiké felt their violent, panicked end as she retched and gagged.

“Stop, you’re hurting them, stop.” Tears forming in her eyes, running down her face, staining her clothes… or was that blood? What was water?

Help me please, it hurts… she begged again.

“Shhh child, breathe.” Hands, somehow both warm and cold, comforting in their touch, caressed her face and settled over her ears, gently lifting her head towards the source of the voice. “Breathe now.”

She sucked in a breath as more tears fell from her eyes, her hands gripping the ones steadying her head.

Her eyes opened to reveal the Buddha, that smile ever present on his face. She was dimly aware of her mother, father and attendants standing behind him a ways.

She looked back up towards the Buddha, her breathing slowing enough to allowed some capability of speech.

“Somethings wrong with me. I can’t control it.” She choked out, her eyes blurred with her tears as she begged him to help her. “I’m being ripped apart.”

“Yes maiden of the waters, I know. I must apologize. I gave you a mortal heart so that you’d love the land. I never intended for your body to rebel so violently against mortality. You were never supposed to be mortal. I see now that even without it, you would’ve loved the land all the same.” His ever calm smile was apologetic, Bèiké found herself instantly forgiving him even though she didn’t fully understand his words in the moment.

“It hurts…” Bèiké sobbed, gripping his kasaya as she’s seen children do a hundred times to their mother’s skirts. “Please, end the pain, I can’t bear to feel their suffering any longer.”

She wanted to scream, but her voice was so damaged, her pleas were barely above a whisper.

But he heard her all the same. He waved his hand, and shooed all onlookers out. Which they did with varying degrees of hesitation, some being pulled out of the room, voices of concern rising.

“At ease child, I can’t end the storm, that’s something only you can do. But I can grant you the clarity to think your next choices through. For the next choices you will have to make are not to be easy.” He nodded and properly sat before her, still allowing her to cling to him in her pain. “I will take some of the blame for that, as it was my well intentioned gift that put you in this position in the first place. Water can never be mortal, I have learned that now, and I will not forget. Mortality only throws off its balance.”

He placed a hand over her eyes, his touch a golden glow. And with that glow…

Came silence.

Sweet, merciful silence.

Bèiké sobbed her relief.

“Oh you poor thing, you’ve been feeling it all, but chained and unable to be apart of it.” A pain pinched his features as he took on her burden to relieve her.

She fought to calm her breaths as relief washed over her. She tried to settle her mind. So much was broken, so much needed mending. “Can you break the chains? Can you revive my control” She looked to him, hoping for an answer.

His expression was one that made her chest tighten ever further as she felt dread hang above her like a damned sword of Damocles. “Alas, maiden of the waters, I cannot. And for that you have my eternal apologies. You have become too mortal… this body of yours… its yin and yang are too broken and out of balance. It will no longer support the job it’s been tasked with.” His voice was gentle even as his words were heartbreaking.

Still, Bèiké pushed forwards. After all, all problems had to have a solution… right? “If it’s the body that is broken, will it not do for me to just shed it and return to the waters?”

The Buddha shook his head. “You misunderstand me child, I speak not of this physical body, but your innermost core. The body of You…. It is not so easily shed.”

She tried to understand his words, what he was saying. And found she could not. “Auspicious One please, help me learn, I am dull-witted. What must I do? Innocents are dying because I’ve lost control.”

A sad look pinches the Buddha’s features. “Pitiful child, I wished there was a simple solution. In order to shed your core… to reclaim your identity as the Worldly waters… You must cease.”

She froze, it felt even as though her heart in her chest paused as a horrible understanding washed over her “…Cease?”

The Buddha looked said, but still he nodded. “Yes… cease. The Jade emperor is tasked with keeping balance, the core of the current imbalance resides in you… in order to quell the storms, to spare the land and break your chains, you must offer that core to him. And with its Oceanic Dharma, he can restore the world. But in doing so… you will cease.”

Her mind raced. It was an answer, a solution… but at what cost? Of course she’d pay it, it was one life compared to millions, the math was easy… but… “…. If I did that… mother’s heart would break….”

“Yes… it will.” He nodded solemnly once again.

The plans she had…. The people she met… “… I made friends, I made promises to those friends…. They would mourn me.”

“More people would mourn you than you realize sweet child, you have become beloved.” He gave her a sweet, sad smile. One that reassured her as much as it broke her heart.

“…. Doing this… choosing to cease… will that save them?” She had to be sure… because what was being asked of her…

She felt a breath of relief wash over her as the Buddha nodded once again, reassuring her worry. “It will restore the balance and bring about the gentle rain and revitalization of the world once more. They will be safe, they will be free to mourn you.”

She stared at him, biting her lip harshly as tears fell fresh, the choice made, her heart and mind settling to the decision she has made. “Then I will do this… for them.”

The Buddha was silent for a moment before he carefully place a hand on top of her head. “I’m sorry for putting this task on you child, please forgive me.”

“We didn’t know… we couldn’t have known. You’re not at fault Auspicious One. There’s no villain to defeat or to place blame on in this.” She offers a shaking smile at him, trying to be brave. “Just a duty to perform… correct?”

The great and merciful Buddha stared at her for a moment before he smiled and nodded, gently reaching to take her hand. “You are truly a Propitious and Filial Child. No matter the outcome, I shall ensure your sacrifice is immortalized. The gentle and tranquil Yìn Zhēnzhū gōngzhǔ, and her love for the land.”

Still trying to keep a brave face, but unable to stop the tears, she sat up straight and kowtowed before the great Buddha. Offering her thanks for both the merciful silence within her mind, and a solution to the great problem.

As the Buddha bid her to rise, she looked up at him, a new determination in her gaze.

“How much time do I have left?…. I…” her face fell again. “I must say goodbye.”

The Buddha nodded in understanding before he looked out the window and contemplated. “I can hold your storm back with my dharma for two days… forgive me child that’s all I can permit. Any more and your core will shatter, the oceanic Dharma housed within will be irreparably damaged and the balance will never be restored.”

Beike kowtowed again. “Thank you Auspicious One… I shall not dare waste even a second of it.”

He led her out of the room where her loved ones, her father, mother, her beloved attendants and loyal guard… even her dear cousin, Erlang Shen all of them were there.

She rushed to hug her mother first, and as she was held by her family, both her and the Buddha explained the situation.

It wasn’t easy…

Her mother had collapsed in grief, even her Sage of a father, the honorable and steadfast great Jade Emperor, let out a sob as he looked upon the two of them in horror.

“Auspicious One, I beseech you, there must be a way to spare my child. We haven’t even had a millennium with her.”

But upon receiving no such solution, He excused himself - after giving his daughter a hug and an order to come and see him tomorrow - to go and grieve in private for a bit with his beloved consort and wife.

The Buddha excused himself next to go and use his dharma to temporarily silence the storms.

Her attendants clung to her and her faithful guard bowed and wept. They asked to follow her and she was quick to forbid it. She needed them to aid in helping her mother. Because she knew her mother would be hit worst by this. They needed to stay alive to grieve her so that they would have her mother, and her royal mother would have them.

And her attendants would be well taken care of, and build their cultivation to become powerful ladies. They would become a force on their own so that they would never, Never need to serve another royal ever again. And her faithful guard would grow in strength, rise in rank, become a great general and never need to depend on her or another king ever again. She held their hands tightly as she made them promise.

It took convincing. But they agreed. Holding their chins high and putting on a brave face as they served their Lady dinner, prepared her room and vigilantly stood guard.

Her beloved people… she never did deserve them…

That left Erlang.

“Are you too going to convince me to try and find another way dear cousin.”

“…. No, the solution came from the Buddha himself, he wouldn’t have suggested it had there been another way…”

“Then what is that look for?”

“…..” He sat next to her and reached out to grip her hand. Fingers entwined, shoulder leaning against hers. “I can’t protect you… I am sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize Erlang,” she leaned her head against his, allowing him to support her weight. “Besides, my dear cousin, mayhaps one day you will find someone who you can protect, who will drive you crazy and be strong enough that you don’t allow those hovering instincts of yours to rule you… mayhaps one day you’ll have a couple kids, a charming family… a good life.”

She smiles and holds his hand tighter as she watches his face pinch in a pain that has no physical wound.

“And when that day comes, and you’re truly happy, and the sun is setting pink over an orange and purple sky, I hope you gather your children and sit them down under a weeping willow next to a gentle river, and you tell them tales of their silly Cousin-Aunt who would’ve loved and spoiled them so much.”

Tears weld in his eyes, the only thing refusing to let them fall is pride.

“That could’ve been us…”

“No…” She was quick to stop him in the trail of thought. “It couldn’t have been. We are too much alike… we would’ve fought and made each other miserable, you wouldn’t have been able to keep an eye on me the way you need to in order to settle your battle-mind, and I would’ve become odious of the way you hovered and restricted me in the name of safety… and deep down, I know you know this….”

Silence before a pained chuckle and Erlang used his free hand to pinch the corners of his eyes, holding his nose. “You would’ve been an awful wife.”

Beike makes an aghast sound in her throat. “How dare you. I would’ve made an amazing bride.”

“Just not to me?”

“Just not to you… but, I am happy we are family. And I’m happy I was given this time to say goodbye to you…” she leaned her head against his shoulder again. “You’re a good man Erlang. You have such a big heart. Don’t you dare let others take advantage of that okay? And when you do decide you want to take a partner, make sure you’re not blinded by your dedication and choose someone with a good heart, okay? Choose Someone who will love you back wildly and most ardently.”

He looked at her with red eyes for a bit before he nodded and leaned forward to kiss her. And though she tensed, she let him say goodbye.

When he pulled back, he gently caressed her cheek. “I vow to you that I will do as you say. I will carry your name… I will keep them safe.” He glances at her beloved attendants and guard.

Bèiké felt a tightness of worry in her chest loosen as she placed her hand over his. “Thank you Cousin… you have no idea how much that means to me.”

He nodded and stood up, going to take his leave before he stopped, and looked back. “You need to say goodbye to him…. His Birthday is in just a couple dawns. He needs to know, or he will carry that anger.”

Bèiké clenched her fists against her skirts, but loosened them as she sighed and nodded. “I can’t tell him when…. He will try and stop it…”

Erlang nodded then gave a shrug and a whistle. Calling his dog next to his side. “Then don’t tell him when… but he deserved to know as your brother.”

The Water Maiden gritted her teeth. “I hate it when you are correct…”

He smiled and left the room. The hound on his heels.

————————————————

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

————————————————

Beike had two days… two days to say goodbye.

She wanted to spend most of it with her family, and that first day… she did.

Her beloved attendants and guard stood by her side as she was prepared and escorted to her Royal mother and father.

Together, they wept, and held one another. Then spoke of stories and laughed and remembered. She sang for them and performed for them one last time. Served her mother and father tea. Did her filial duties as a daughter.

Bèiké was unable to stop her tears flowing again as her brothers and sisters arrived as well, coming to embrace her and love her and say their goodbyes. Sharing their own stories with her, singing and celebrating the time she had had with them, with her. Apologizing for past arguments and disagreements, and showing remorse for not accepting her right away.

The Maiden of the Waters listened to them all without interruption, forgave the ones who asked for it and embraced them. Wanting to spend this time as family with no drama’s or petty rivalries.

They all did their best to enjoy the moment without acknowledging too much the impending doom creeping ever closer.

It was everything Beike could’ve wanted as a last day with her family. Forever grateful that she’d been adopted into it.

And it was done too soon, Beike looked out and saw the world in that stage of blue that’s common as the sun sinks that certain level below the horizon…

Day one was done.

She bid farewell to her siblings, sharing her love with them once more. She went and hugged her parents and told them of her plans for tomorrow, how she knew she needed to say goodbye to her sworn brother.

And while her royal mother wanted to spend her last day with her, her father nodded and understood her need to bid farewell. Placating his wife and asking that she only return in the morning so that they may spend some time together before….

He couldn’t finish that sentence, but the Maiden nodded and understood. Giving her word.

With that, she spent the remainder of the night with her beloved attendants and guard, sharing stories and fragile time….

It was when the early morning came about that she got ready. The sun still far from breaching the horizon as she made her way out on her cloud pavilion, her body still chained from rejoining the waters.

She carried a delicately wrapped gift carefully in her lap. The wrappings gold, orange, purple and red and shimmering. Colors that had reminded her of a beautiful dawn, something she had always associated with her sworn brother and his bright personality.

As the great Mountain Huaguo came into view, she felt her chest tighten in nervousness.

Sun Wukong could be unpredictable at the best of times, and completely irrational at the worst. She knew not how he was going to handle this.

She carefully stepped into the water curtain cave and called out. Some monkey Guai she recognized as a general raising his brow at her from his lounging position on the roof. She smiled and gave a polite bow before holding up the gifts to show him.

The general rolled his eyes and disappeared into the palace, Sun Wukong appearing a handful of minutes later. His clothes were not pajamas, though also not his royal regalia. He smiled at her, though his eyes were curious.

“My my! What a wonderful sight! My sister come to visit this Old Sun! And with gifts, a generous woman you are!” He wrapped an arm around her and began to lead her inside. “I feared you were stern with me! Such storms have been beating my mountain! Why, the young ones have all needed to find shelter in high ground! But if you are here with gifts, that clearly mustn’t be so. Though you must satisfy my curiosity Young Pearl. The sun is still a long time in rising, what brings you by this odd hour?”

Bèiké smiled, her voice tight as she answered him and allowed herself to be led. “I will tell you everything, my dear brother. But first, invite me to your table, let us sit. I want to see your smiles as you accept these birthday gifts before I must regrettably darken the mood.”

Wukong paused and looked at her, his smile dropping. “Darken the mood? Pray tell, why must you do such a thing? Has someone dared to insult you? Tell this Wukong and I shall have them apologize.“

Beike shook her head, and patted his hand. “Let us sit first, i shall tell you then.”

Wukong scowled at her vagueness but led her to his dining hall all the same. Sitting them down and getting a pot of tea on the fire.

“There.” He stated. “We have sat, and the tea is brewing, I have done my hostly duty, now explain.”

Beike tried not to laugh, for this was no laughing matter, but she smiled as she handed him the gifts. “Will you not open them first?”

He waved her off as he bared his teeth at her. “You stall. I am impatient young Pearl, what is the bad news you bring?”

Beike sighed before she pulled the gifts back. Staring at her hands before she looked back up at her brother. “I wanted to celebrate with you before I shared the news. I didn’t mean to cause you worry brother. But there’s no easy way to say this.”

She sat up straighter and looked her Sworn brother in the eyes. “Wukong… I’ve lost control, my body has rejected me, my mortality has run up… I don’t know exactly how much time I have left, but.…” she gave a shaky smile. “It wasn’t fair to not come and say goodbye…”

Wukong froze as he took in her words, his eyes searching hers as he searched for a lie, a jest, a deception. “That can’t be…” his hand reached out to grip hers. “You are immortal, that cannot be.”

She gripped him back, her lips beginning to tremble and her sight beginning to blur as she nodded. “It is so… the Buddha himself confirmed it. The only reason the storms aren’t raging this very moment is because he is holding it back…. But dear brother, my mind is broken, my body has failed…”

She shook her head her tears falling. “I did not know how to tell you, but you deserved to know. You are family, I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye…”

“You hush.” Gritted words.

“I wanted so much to celebrate your birthday with you, and see your happy reaction as you open these gifts… I wanted to give you a chance make peace with this.”

“Be silent.”

“I have failed my duties and lives have been lost due to it… I can never make that right, but I need to try and fix this. However I want to still say goodbye. It’s not right to just disappear-“

“HUSH!” Sun Wukong roared as he pushed her down against the pillows, snapping his canines inches from her face. “YOU BE SILENT!”

He shook above her, his breathing harsh, his hands gripping her wrists to the point of bruising. He looked down at her with golden eyes blazing, using his sight to see the horrible truth of the Pearl maiden.

And of course he saw that she was speaking the truth. Her very core was failing, her body all out of balance, her mind being held together by only the Buddha’s Dharma. Oh he knew the feeling of that power intimately well, for he was trapped under it for 500 years. And even that was swiftly breaking under the force of a torrent storm that was only just barely being held back.

His younger sister holding a power within her that was far too large for her current body, and he could see it was quite literally ripping her apart. An awful sight.

“I….” His voice shook as he is mind quickly ran through a hundred different scenarios. “Yes, an idea, I have an idea! I could sneak back to the shadow kingdom, erase your name.”

“Wukong…”

“Lao Tzu has a hundred different medicines, I could go steal a couple again.”

“Brother-“

“The immortality peaches bloom in another handful of days, you could eat them. I could mend your core! I’m sure it wouldn’t be too hard! The Buddha misses things all the time! There must be some loophole. You are immortal, there’s always a way ou-“

His words cut off as the maiden leaned up and buried her face against his neck, pulling her wrists uselessly against his grip.

He shuddered and let out a whine when he felt her tears dampen his fur.

“You… you are not supposed to leave… How are you to leave? Young as you are, the young pearl that has slammed this Wukong with your waters in play. The skinny little princess who has stood up to me more than any of those celestials who dare call themselves warriors… yet you can’t beat this? How dare you…”

“I am sorry brother… you must forgive this Bèiké.”

“I do not! How dare you, you can’t leave. How dare you.” His hands released her wrists only to wrap around her and drag her into a crushing hug.

She of course hugged him back, Sun Wukong had always been steadfast and strong, even when he was angry or stubborn or doing something reckless he always somehow made her feel safe. To feel him tremble against her made her chest tighten to a near painful degree.

“My impulsive brother… please, I need you to make peace with this.” She rubbed his back as she did her best to choke back her tears. “I don’t want to leave with regrets.”

He snarled against her throat but refused to look at her. “You dare ask me to be okay with this? You are selfish.”

She combed her fingers through his fur, desperately trying to comfort him in the way his people do. “Will you let me be selfish in this? I want us to spend the day together, I want to celebrate your birthday early. I want to enjoy my time with my sworn brother and leave with good memories and no regrets…”

Slowly he began to relax and his grip on her loosened. “You ask a lot of this Sun Wukong Bèiké.”

Bèiké blinked rapidly at hearing her brother say her name, but nodded even though she knew he didn’t see her. “I know… I want today to be a good day for both of us… let your little sister be selfish, please?”

Long moments passed before he finally nodded.

“Because I am a good and gracious King and brother… I will do this.”

“You are a wonderful and handsome king.”

“Your praises flatter me sister.”He leaned back and gave her a look. “I… do not like this…”

Beike gave him a shaky smile. “I am not fond of it either… would you rather I left?” She asked genuinely.

Sun Wukong was quick to shake his head. “I would not chase you away. I want to spend the day with you. But alas, it feels odd to pretend nothing is wrong, you sit before me so it feels odd to grieve, yet I see your core shattering…” he rests his forehead against hers. “Would you be stern with me if I hid you away in the mountain where I knew it was safe?”

Bèiké closed her eyes and similarly pressed her forehead against his. “I’d be sad, because I know it would not change anything. You know that too… But… Thank you for caring about me…”

A growl rumbled in his chest. “I am your brother, of course this Sun Wukong is going to care.” A grumpy statement, but one that made Bèiké give a wet laugh all the same.

“I am so lucky to have you as a brother Wukong… the Valiant Victorious Fighting Buddha, strongest in the world. Brave old Sun.”

“…I don’t want to let go…”

Bèiké nodded, but took a deep breath and leaned back to give him her bravest smile. “Come! Let me celebrate your birthday early. No more tears! Let’s smile and make merry.”

It took convincing, and he wasn’t nearly as festivious as he normally was, but he eventually began to smile and laugh as they ate and drank. Some of the denizens of Mount Huaguo joining in on the merrymaking. Loving any excuse to celebrate, why not start the games early?

His eyes glittered at the gifts she had given him, the storm summoning whistle and the abyssal armor. He danced around and showed them off.

As the day grew brighter, more people joined in.

It was… fun.

Music played, the food was good, the games were chaotic and creative, everyone was laughing and smiling. One could almost forget that the Princess had a time limit…

But Bèiké could see when Sun Wukong remembered, he would randomly grow quiet and his brow would furrow. His hand gripping hers as if afraid that if he let go, she would disappear.

Bèiké did her sisterly duty and tried to ease his mind and keep conversation topics away from anything that may remind him. Today was about celebrating, sharing stories and making merry. She had even pulled him out to dance a couple times, both of them clumsy from the wine and making them laugh all the more.

As the sun began to set once more, the maiden of the waters knew she had to return…

She wasn’t about to lie and say that the thought of getting him drunk to the point he passed out, so she could leave without him noticing wasn’t enticing… but she ultimately decided it would be cruel to not give him a chance to say goodbye. And Wukong, seeing the change in his little sister’s demeanor and the far away look in her eye, felt his throat tighten.

“Must you leave already? Ba and Liu are about to get on the drums.” His hands gripping hers tightly.

She smiled sadly and gripped his hands back. “Come to the balcony with me Wukong… come tell me goodbye. Send me off with a smile.”

He snarled, but did so. His mind once again beginning to race as he thought of ways to fix the issue, heal her core…

And Bèiké gently tugged his fur. “You are going to hurt yourself if you keep trying to mend what’s already breaking. You have to let it shatter.”

The gaze he leveled on her was equal parts stubbornness, pain and manic. “How can you ask me to do nothing? I am Sun Wukong!”

Her cloud pavilion materialized as she gently held her brother’s face. “Wukong… I am hurting. My mind has shattered and it’s causing me so much pain… it hurts, and I am so sorry I’m not strong enough to deal with it.” She feels her voice choke as she thinks about what the Buddha told her. Takes a deep breath before smiling at her brother. “Those storms that are so out of control are destroying what is precious, you have always fought to keep your precious people safe. But this time, I have to be the one to fix things… you have to let me do this so that the pain can end.”

He trembled, his eyes squeezing shut as he let out a whine and crushed her in a tight hug.

“I swear to you… I will find a way to fix this. You must hold on young Pearl, promise me you will hold on.”

Bèiké bit her lip as she felt tears well up in her eyes once more… it would’ve been too easy to promise, to trust him, to let him shield her and depend on him…

But as she looked back behind him and saw the lives of the denizens of the mountain that were much more fragile, whom had already suffered and survived so much… whom she didn’t want to risk anymore than she inadvertently already had, she took a deep breath and settled her nerves. She raised her arms to hug him back. The monkey Guai who - from the start of his existence - didn’t know what it was to turn down a challenge.

“I trust in your strength Wukong… protect your people, I will never forgive myself if they come into harm when I am broken.”

He shook his head as he leaned back, giving her a hand as she settled onto her cloud pavilion. “I shall allow no harm to befall them, rest assured. You must focus on your own health. I will reach out to you soon.” He gave her hand one final squeeze before he released her and watched her float away.

Bèiké didn’t dare tell him that she wouldn’t be there to answer him come dawn, and she knew he would be angry at her for that. And she accepted that.

She knew in her heart that, should she ever be reincarnated, she would spend the next several lifetimes making up for the pain she would cause her dear brother when he found out.

She could only pray he would forgive her.

————————————————

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

————————————————

Bèiké would’ve liked to think she was being brave.

To sacrifice one’s life for the protection of others, especially including beloved friends and family should be an honorable act. And an act that one usually faced with their head held high.

But Bèiké couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t trembling.

The early morning consisted of the Princess spending her final peaceful moments with her family. They sat in silence, both having no words to say and too many to voice, and just holding each others hands.

As the sun began to rise, the Buddha had called upon them. Guiding them to a location in the heart of everything where the ceremony was to take place.

While the world was still calm, the Buddha and his monks set up the area, blessing it and preparing it for what the Jade Emperor and his ever attentive obligation demanded him to do.

The storms had broken free of the Buddha’s great Dharma moments ago, the world was dark even though it was meant to be the middle of the day.

Her beloved attendants had wanted to accompany her to her final destination, but she had forbidden it. Not wanting to risk them. Their goodbyes had been tearful and filled with vows and promises. Beike was unable to bring herself to look back as she walked away, knowing that if she did, she would’ve have the strength to do what needed to happen next.

She stood with her mother and father on an exposed piece of land in the middle of the ocean, they were in the heart of the storm. The honorable and noble dragon kings of the four cardinal directions risking their lives to hold back the storm, allowing the Jade Emperor and his family to stand in the eye of it.

Bèiké sat in the shallow water where the ocean met the sand as the weight of everything crashed upon her. The whisper-screams that the Buddha was still mercifully holding back slamming against the barrier of her mind, making her dizzy.

There was no specific sign or signal that indicated what exactly needed to be done, but it was like a shift in the wind. Her heart pounding in her chest.

She looked up at the black clouds as the monks around her began to chant and she felt her royal father’s strength and power begin to spread over the world and demand its submission. And she felt herself begin to respond to its demands, even as another part of her twisted in defiance and raged all the more.

It was a particularly painful thump that had her clenching her chest as Wukong’s words reverberated in her head.

“If I came up with nothing, had no pompous trickster cursed me, had no imperious scalawag tried to poison me somehow, I would simply assume it was an internal issue and I’d open myself up to take an intimate look.” …. “Take an intimate look….”

“In order to quell the storms, to spare the land and break your chains, you must offer that core to him. And with its Oceanic Dharma, he can restore the world. But in doing so… you will cease.” The Buddha’s words echoed as she realized truly what she had to do.

Her breath quickened as she forced herself to swallow down her fear. She closed her eyes as the faces of her family and friends flashed in her mind. The pain of those who had been lost to her lack of control, the faces of those who would be at risk if she didn’t do what she needed to do.

“I will cease… but they will survive…” She murmured as she felt her hand break past her fragile mortal shell of a body, easily finding her own core. “The sacrifice of one will preserve billions, the trade is worth it.”

She grit her teeth and prepared herself. “It is worth it.” She let out a pained cry as she gave a swift wrench and tore her core free. Hearing the horrified gasps and cries of her parents.

As she held her core out to her father, and begged him to save… everyone, she quickly felt her strength fade.

Despite his horror, the Jade Emperor kept his composure. His strength and power moving his body instinctively to do what needed to be done. He took her core, the blood staining his hands, and the oceanic dharma that flowed within responded to his dominant presence.

He glowed as the wind kicked up and the sky filled with magnificent colors. Energy plunged through the earth and oceans as the balance between land and sea reentered equilibrium. Everything going back to how it was supposed to be and the effect almost immediately becoming apparent.

No longer shackled by a mortal shell, the waters fell back into balance and the world began to heal.

And as the Jade Emperor did his honor-bound commitment, Bèiké felt her mind settle, and the whispers fade. There was a pull to rejoin the waters as was her nature, but the mortal shell she was bound to still held her. She could feel herself fading, her body dying while still desperately trying to survive.

Her heart beating, her blood flowing, her breathing erratic. She distantly wondered if this is what mortals went through, the mind realizing what was happening while the body continued to fight.

The sobbing voice of her beloved mother caught her attention as she found herself embraced in her mother’s arms.

She tried to raise a hand to hold her mother back but found her body was no longer responding. And as she tried to respond to her mother’s desperate Pleas to not leave her, Bèiké found that her voice no longer worked.

As her breathing slowed, the clouds above them finally parted, revealing a truly beautiful view. A dawn of pinks, purples and golds…

It looks like Wukong…. Ahhh… I’m going to miss his birthday…. His heart is… going to…. Break…

As her vision faded to black, she heard a wailing scream that pierced the void…

Her last thought was that it sounded like the purest heartbreak.

————————————————

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

————————————————

It had been sixty years since that day.

The world had long healed. The droughts had been banished, the floods dried up. The fishermen resumed their craft and taught the next generation and the next, and the dead had been buried and honored.

However, mortals still talked about the phenomenon that had been observed on the ocean those sixty years ago.

The magnificent lights and that feeling of protection and security followed by a great cry that shook the world. Most everyone cried that day after hearing that sound; mortals, beasts, Yaoguais and immortals alike wept.

But most memorable of all, was the utter lack of motion of the seas days after the great mourning.

Not a wave, not a breeze, not a current was seen or felt upon the ocean.

It was as though the entire ocean was dead.

It had taken around fourteen days for movement to circulate within and above the oceans again. And from there, life had returned to a relative normalcy.

However, it wasn’t so easy for everyone to simply move on.

The Victorious Fighting Buddha, Sun Wukong had stormed the heavenly palace in anger, demanding an explanation for the ocean’s state and to see his sister. It had taken the Lotus Prince, Nezha, and his lordship, Erlang Shen to placate and comfort the mourning Simian after the unfortunate news of her death had been shared.

The Stone simian had been leaving, intent on heading back to his mountain to grieve with his people, when he had been stopped by the still grieving Lady Mazu.

She had broken royal decorum and invited him over, offering for him to view her daughter’s memorial and offer some final words.

There had been no body, she had solemnly explained, for after her last breath, her body had melted and became water that fell through my hands… all that had remained were the pearls that had always adorned her, and I had collected as many as I could before they rolled and were lost to the water.

It was said that Wukong had broken down before the memorial of the Pearl Princess, though only the Lady Mazu would know for sure.

Though servants and attendants claimed to have seen the two afterwards sitting at a table and sharing stories. When Wukong had gotten up to leave, the goddess had gifted him a pearl that had belonged to the Maiden.

Sun Wukong had not left his mountain much after that, the king remaining dedicated to his kingdom.

Though, there were rumors that drifted around about how he and the phoenix maiden, and sometimes Erlang Shen, would visit that island in the middle of the ocean once a year on the anniversary of the great mourning.

What they did on that island, it couldn’t be said, but those who dared to venture near swore they heard the most haunting melody and a whistle that always seemed to summon a storm.

————————————————

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

————————————————

What a curious thing life is… always finding a way to exist even in places where you would think life would be impossible.

Everything in life has a cycle, for some it’s life and death, for others it’s a constant journey of recycling.

Water is one of the latter, it’s always been here as long as life has existed on this wonderful world. And even before. There is no true death of water, for the water that exists today is the same water that existed billions of years ago.

Water is one of the true immortals, ever present, life bringing and ever flowing.

The ocean is old, timeless and ever shifting, No one truly knows exactly how old the Waters of the world are.

Deep within the depths, the waters churned and swirled in a circular motion, as if creating a cacoon. And as life shaped and formed within it, the beating of a heart reverberated through the ocean.

A light the shown down upon the churning waters, and a voiced ever familiar called out; “You have yet to finish forming, but allow me to be the first to greet you. Welcome back, Maiden of the Worldly Waters… you have been greatly missed.”

Upon hearing that voice, The Maiden of the Waters, for the first time in sixty years, opened her eyes and blinked up at the light above her.

She felt small and yet large, feared but loved, wild and free… and more so than before, she felt unshackled and eternal, endless and ever renewing.

She felt like water.

“Pray tell, Maiden of the Waters, do you know what you want to be?”

The Maiden felt her brow furrow as she thought, snippets of memory, some clear and some blurry filtering through her mind. A previous life, a mortal body… a broken mind.

She wasn’t that person anymore, part of her knew that. She wasn’t shackled by mortality, her mind wouldn’t break as that woman’s did.

Still…

“Maiden? My my, Do you remember who you are?”

The Maiden blinked back up at the light, and allowed her eyes to adjust, seeing the enlightened figure within.

She nodded as she answered.

“I am Bèiké, the Yín Zhēnzhū Gōngzhǔ, filial daughter, sworn sister, the deceptive Tranquil lady, The capricious and unpredictable waters… and I was loved.”

——————————————————————

ModPost;

AHHHHHHHHHH!!! We’ve finally reached the end! I’ve been working on this for two weeks!!!! All the art took me a while too. I hate doing backgrounds but it gave be a chance to test some water colored brushes I purchased and techniques for expressions and poses.

I hope you all enjoyed if you made it to the end! Let me know what you think.

I tried to proofread as I went along, but if I missed anything please forgive me.

[ofmermaidstories]

the australian government is trying to legislate kids under sixteen off of social media. so, if you are aussie and under sixteen, you won’t be allowed to have a sm account on sites like twitter, tiktok, facebook, youtube—and more.

i know our relationship with minors, as fic writers who write for other adults, is rocky at best. the rise in self-censoring and shame-based attitudes among readers in general is helping to kill any and all artistic curiosity in the next generation, which in turn makes it actively hard to be in shared, online fan spaces. it’s easy to blame the kids, but at its heart i think this is an active adult failure. our younger generations have gotten the raw end of the deal, in many ways; one of them being allowed to grow up alongside of material that they should’ve never had free access to, not without guided parenting.

And that’s the thing. the answer isn’t banning them. the legislation involved means that social media companies will be the ones to face the penalties (the fines) if minors break the new laws. which means—what? censorship gets even worse, in an effort to be even more kid friendly? Government-interest friendly? this talk started happening in the thick of the pro-palestine marches, as the movement was trickling into universities and highschools. And okay, let’s say it’s not that—what else could this be about? could it maybe have something to do with the fact that the australian government wants to implement a Digital ID nation wide?

"This one is for the mums and dads,” Albo, Anthony Albanese, our prime minister and prime dickhead, says in the announcement. “They, like me, are worried sick about the safety of our kids online. I want Australian families to know that the government has your back.”

But this isn’t about protecting kids. At the very best, they’re selling it as a scapegoat—like, oh! Haha, now you can just tell the kids it’s illegal!! It completely ignores the reality that people have to parent these humans. Like, it’s giving people, at best, an excuse to continue being lazy. They don’t have to sit down with their kids and the things they’re engaging with, anymore—because they’re banned from it! Instead having conversations about the media they encounter, it’s okay! You don’t need to worry about that anymore! The australian government wants to pretend this is about protecting kids from predators or online bullying, instead of parents confronting the fact they’ve created little assholes with unfettered access to tools to harass people with, or let their kids walk into traps because they haven’t taught them basic internet safety.

I have mixed feelings. Like any other (reasonable) adult, I worry about what kind of effects this much freedom to this much knowledge and drivel and personality can do to someone younger, someone who hasn’t like—had to learn how to make their way through a world where people are messy and a little weird and sometimes outright unlikable, but you have to still be professional about it, you know? I worry about things like micro-trends running the fun and excitement of digging in and finding some niche fashion that becomes your personality. I worry about status symbols like the right makeup and fitness pants and waterbottles getting popular too fast, and then cycling out just as quickly and creating a pace that kids without means can’t participate in as fast. I worry about podcasts run by sigma-pus males or whatever, tradwives selling glamour under the pretense of housework, like, so much of it. But these are all things that you as a parent have to negate!!! Like. You can’t just ban kids from the internet and then expect them to be normal about things whenever they’re allowed back—you have to teach them to be, to handle it. You have to teach them!!

I am saying this as an adult. An adult who likes adult things, and likes them in an open, easily-accessible space. An adult who would actively benefit from minor-free social media. There are things as an adult creator that I wanna talk about, or write about, in ways that aren’t always age-appropriate (or at all!!) for a younger audience. And look—my personal view has always been that as a fanfic writer, my responsibility to you guys (adults and sneaky-little-minors alike!!) has always been to warn appropriately on or in the fics themselves. That’s it. You get the warning labels on the tin, and you decide what to do with that afterwards. It’s not always perfect because I’m not perfect. I will make mistakes. I might not tag for something specific that ends up being a trigger for you. But the thing with fanfiction and fanfic communities is that we generally have to trust each other. I might miss a warning, but you have to trust that that mistake wasn’t a deliberate effort to hurt you. I have to trust that you guys know your own boundaries and will engage—or not!!—accordingly. I opt to treat my space here, my blog, as an open-one. Because it is! It’s a public blog LOL. If you have a tumblr account, then you have access to it! So, I try to treat this space like a public conversation in a café, or a foodcourt. Maybe I slip a raunchy little book over the table to you, and we make one or two rude jokes, or otherwise a stray rando catches the tail-end of a more serious conversation—but it’s all things I would be comfortable (enough) discussing with someone in a space where maybe I don’t know everyone involved, you know? I benefit from the knowledge that oh well, at least I don’t have to worry about local kids getting on here. 💀 But—I hate that for them!! Do I trust younger readers? Not always!!! I worry that they’ll get caught in the wrong feedback loop, that they don’t like, investigate claims or challenge information for themselves, that they’ve never had to! And hey, to be completely fair, I don’t always trust proper adult readers with that either LMFAOOO, but the point is that kids get more grace and more worry from me because they are still actively learning to be apart of things, of communities. And I think banning them from that is ultimately a mistake. To protect someone you have to teach them what to look out for, how to engage safely, how to trust themselves. And that’s not what’s going to be achieved here. This social media ban is a useless bandaid in the face of bigger problems (housing crisis, inflation, the AUKUS submarine thing i don’t even want to talk about it its stupid) that the government is waving around to distract everyone with. And it’s working. Because people would rather sit there and scroll on facebook, or whatever, instagram, instead of actively parenting.

[the-badger-mole]

I've seen people criticize Zuko for not taking the opportunity to kill Ozai during the eclipse but expecting Aang, a 12 y.o. pacific monk to do that instead. He was called hypocritical for being unsympathetic towards his unwillingness to take a life when he himself couldn't. I do like Zuko and tend to side with him ( post redemption ofc ) over Aang, but that seems like a valid take, I don't think I have a counter-argument to that.What is your opinion on It ? Also, what do you think was the in-universe reason for Zuko to make such a decision? He said that It's not his destiny, do you think there was any other reason for It? Is he not wrong for not doing It just bc of destiny since It's just an abstract concept and the stakes were really high ( plus It's against the show's message about shaping your own destiny) ?

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but it sounds like the people criticizing Zuko for not killing Ozai when he had the chance wanted Aang to do it? That doesn't sound like a contradiction, so I'm not sure if that's how you meant it?

Aside from that, I can only speak for myself. I understand why Zuko didn't kill Ozai. I also understand why Aang didn't want to. What my problem with the resolution for that was that it was the first time Aang seems to have even thought about what ending the war would entail. It doesn't make him look noble, or idealistic. It just makes him look stupid. What do you mean? What do you mean that he took this entire journey to get him to master all the elements on a deadline so he can end the war, and he had no idea what ending the war would even look like? He didn't even consider it? It had to be told to him. He really goofed off this entire series and didn't think about his project until the night before it was due. And don't anyone try to use his age to excuse this to me. First of all, Aang isn't a 12 year old. He's a fictional character who was created by writers. Writers who were telling a story. THEY are the ones who didn't consider how Aang would end the war. Second, within the story, Aang's age is never used as an excuse for why he did this. In fact, not only is an excuse not given, it's treated like a virtue on his end and not a lack of forethought on his part. He's rewarded for it.

Listen, I hate the Lionturtle/Rock of Destiny double deus ex machina, and I have made no secret of it. It was a cop out. It cheapened the finale. It made everything Aang was supposed to learn irrelevant, because no, he didn't have to make sacrifices and hard choices for his victory. He won because he was supposed to win (and how's that for shaping your own destiny?). Here's the thing, though. The Lionturtle, at least, could have worked. If Aang had to come up with the solution himself, go find the Lionturtle and ask for help (and maybe have to perform some challenge to earn it), then it would've been a satisfying ending while still not making Aang himself have to shed blood (nevermind that keeping his hands clean was a privilege most of the heroes in this story couldn't have).

I didn't necessarily want Aang to kill Ozai, and definitely didn't want him to kill Ozai just because it would look cool (although...). I would have been fine with a no-kill ending, if it had been set up right. I just think having Aang kill Ozai given the set up of the rest of the story would've been more satisfying than the cop-out ex machina double team. Or someone else could've faced Ozai, because he was never the main villain of the series. Azula was. And that fight was both satisfying and didn't end with her death, either (because it's a kids' show). It wouldn't even have to change. Aang was not the real hero of this story. Katara was the hero of the first half, and Zuko was the hero of the second. Aang was just the McGuffin. He could've sat this one out and been the one to make the "Real Hero" speech instead of Zuko. That would have been a good ending.

[katerinaaqu]

It's hard talking about the disrespect to Greek mythology and religion when every argument people brings to the table is "look at this original novel that is adapted into a movie that is turned into a tv show that didn't follow the original plot" as if the Greek culture is on par with fictional story instead of a tradition and heritage of real life people.

A media that is broadcast to the public and make accessible to everyone that erased the values and lesson of a cultural story still can do harm when it feeds misunderstanding and misinterpretion of the culture it originated from.

Greek people has the right to be upset when their culture keeps getting misrepresented, doesn't matter the good intentions behind it, why must it be at the expense of Greek culture?

You can create arts that is so beautiful and so praises by many, and years from now you could look back and see what an amazing experience and community you have created out of it. But at the same time you also continue feeding the distorted ideas and flawed understanding about a culture as a whole.

All because you took from a culture and want to tell your own story.

Retelling is telling back the story. Any addition or new ideas you bring is when there's part in the original story that is vague or open for interpretations. Even then, when you elaborate, you follows the already presented ideas that the original story already established.

If it so beloved to you and so meaningful to you, why couldn't you be faithful when adapting and retelling with the talents you have?

Shouldn't it be better if you created an original story inspired by it? If you feels that the values and standards are not to your taste, but you so loved the stories and could related to it, isn't it better to create original characters and settings with your own voice and narrative with the story inspiration as the backdrop?

At this point, what is greek mythology and lore to you? That makes you so passionate so inspired, that spark your imagination that encourage you to be creative but it is at the ruin of old age history that is meaningful for the Greek identity. Do you really appreciate the values and moral that you gained from the stories, or did you forget yourself along the way?

I couldn't have said it better! I agree to all that because that is exactly my sentiment as well! On one hand of course I am proud that Greek mythology contnues to inspire and people want to create stuff on them or that even now there are people who think the values of Greek Mythology are universal and they are!

But as you said it pains me to no limits when stories that were literally created from people based on their culture and religion to pass on messages are not only distorted beyond recognition but also to a degree where nowadays most people of Greek mythology liking spectrum know only how terrible villains some men are (in actual mythology they are complicated personas) and how weak women are (there are literlly figures in Greek mythology that are so strong personas that honestly I am shocked. See Helen for example how she is the most projected persona as a pretty face that does nothing when Helen literally taks back to Aphrodite, she is the only one who sees through Odysseus's disguise, she has knowledge of medicine and so much more for once) Mythology loses all its meaning, all its allegory and all its cultural spectrum because as you said people do not use it to retell the story, they use the word "retelling" as their excuse to just tell a story that fits them by using the popularity of greek mythology and yes as you said why cannot they say their original stories while using inspiration from Greek mythology?

Honestly I have nothing to add! You said it all dear Anon!

[hoseokslefteyebrow]

The Anomaly || JJK

Chapter 19: A Plan

summary : In which you're isekai'd from your (own) parallel Jujutsu Kaisen universe to the canon universe.

wordcount : 2.6k

Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen X Reader, your Sukuna X Reader, Megumi X reader

Masterlist | Next

Manga spoilers: chapters 145/146

You blink. Sukuna blinks. Everyone blinks.

Was this alien-like being Tengen?

Sukuna wasn't surprised Tengen didn't acknowledge him. It was a given considering he's got no cursed energy.

But he wasn't the only one who wasn't acknowledged. 

" Don't I get a hello, Tengen?"

Her face tells you Yuki's not entirely pleased about him.

Had something happened between them before?

" This isn't the first time we've met, Tsukumo Yuki."

" Why did you close off the tombs of the star corridor?"

She was not afraid to ask questions.

She had more guts than you expected.

" I was afraid you might be in alignment with Kenjaku. After all, I cannot see into the human heart."

Kenjaku?

" Kenjaku?"

You're not the only one who's wondering who he's talking about.

" The sorcerer who was once Noritoshi Kamo, and is now inhabiting the body of Suguru Geto."

" That name suggests compassion and salvation. Give me a break."

" Master Tengen, why do you look like that?" 

You blink at Yuuji's bold question.

The being that is Tengen smiles.

" I may be immortal, but I'm not immune to aging. After 500 years, you'd look like this too."

Yuuji's mouth forms an 'o'.

" For real?" 

Megumi seemingly has had enough.

" Excuse me but.." 

And so does Yuta.

" ...We came to ask about Kenjaku's objectives and how to open the prison realm. Will you tell us what you know?"

" I wish I could simply say yes, but there is one condition."

 " Okkotsu Yuta, Tsukumo Yuki, Death Womb Painting, and L/N Y/N, two of you must remain here to serve as my guards."

You blink. Again.

You? Why? And whose last name was that? What was your actual play in this universe? Did you have a current life here? Or a past life?

Things are so confusing now that Tengen's talking to you.

Meanwhile Sukuna's brows furrow in annoyance. Ain't no way he's allowing this alien like thing to keep you here.

He's not aware, and neither are you, but Megumi thinks the same as he glances at you, shifting the slightest bit closer to you than he already is.

You're not from here, and there's no way in hell that he's allowing you to die in his world.

" Y/N ain't staying with you alien. Keep dreaming." 

Politeness and formalities have never been Sukuna's thing. And that was evident in the way he spoke.

Megumi watches with a cool expression. He doesn't like Sukuna, but at least he can agree with him on keeping you safe.

" Y/N won't stay with you. She's not from our universe. We can't really risk her dying.- But why guards? Aren't you immortal? "

Yuta agrees.

" Are you worried about the seal?"

" No fair! You haven't even told us why or for how long we'd have to do it!"

The room has turned a bit chaotic now that Maki and Yuki are speaking too, with Maki remaining more serious.

Tengen doesn't bother to acknowledge anyone. Not even glancing at Sukuna's blatant disrespect.

" So then, shall I speak of Kenjaku? His objective is to force the evolution of all human beings throughout the land of Japan. "

Megumi blinks, mildly growing impatient.

" We heard that. But what exactly does he intend? Why didn't Kenjaku use your barrier that time, and turn everyone into a sorcerer that time via Idle Transfiguration? "

Tengen sighs.

" He lack the cursed energy to do that. Cursed energy that has been refined through uzumaki cannot return to the sorcerer. Triggering an evolution in each individual with cursed energy is incredibly inefficient. The method Kenjaku has chosen is the merger of human kind and me."

Once again, everyone's eyes widen.

Yuuji and Megumi are the first to speak.

" Isn't that impossible for anyone but a plasma vessel?"

" Is that even possible?"

" Yes. The way I was before. But now that I have evolved for the past 11 years, it wouldn't be impossible. "

You raise a brow.

" But aren't you one person? How could you merge with multiple. "

Sukuna huffs in disinterest. He came to get you, and now he's getting wrapped up in this shit.

You two should be looking on how to get home. Not meddle in this shit. He'll just katana Gojo out of there if it really bothers you that much.

Tengen's alien eyes fix onto you.

" The way I was before, yes, but now that I have evolved for over 11 years. It wouldn't be impossible for me to merge with someone other than a star plasma vessel. I am not what you see before you at this moment. My soul exists all around us. As I said, myself is now the world...."

Tengen carries on explaining, and you grow more confused with the second. You're not even going to bother to try and understand.

You glance at Megumi, who is stood closely beside you, yet he seems to be understanding the conversation without issue, following Tengen's every word.

You glance at Sukuna next, only to see he's barely paying attention to it, his brows furrowed in that familiar annoyed frown.

However, eventually, you do manage to get the most important bit together: Tengen's evolved form causes him to be more curse than human, and that makes him a target for curse manipulation.

Your eyes widen, everyone's does. (Except for Sukuna, the little shit doesn't give a damn whether Tengen dies or lives.)

This was the reason Tengen wanted guards. Kenjaku was currently inhabiting Suguru Geto after all. 

Tengen doesn't stop explaining after that. He continues on, talking about destinies. Everything had been in place. The Star Plasma Vessel, the Six Eyes user, Tengen, but then appeared someone with a heavenly restriction. 

You glance at Sukuna at the news, who somehow seems even more annoyed. 

He means Toji Zen'In of course. The only other person you know who had a heavenly restriction.

Tengen doesn't stop there, continuing on about how Toji destroyed their destinies and a boy with curse manipulation came along.

Now finally done, Megumi speaks.

" So why is the Culling Game happening?"

[ Here's your dear author speaking, apologies for breaking the fourth wall- I sincerely do not understand Tengen's yapping. 

Put simply: "To avoid any interruption in the merging of Tengen and Kenjaku."]

Finally, Sukuna has had enough.

" Okay. Great. Kenjaku wants you dead, sucks to be you. More importantly,  how do we free Satoru Gojo?"

Everyone is speechless as Sukuna steps closer from where he had been standing off to the side.

Sukuna's annoyed eyes sharpen into a glare, daring everyone to question him.

Even Yuta steps back.

For a guy with no cursed energy, he was damn intimidating.

" F-First, decide who stays." 

Tengen certainly has nerve to not directly answer Sukuna.

In return, Sukuna glares, stepping towards him. However, you're quick to step to his side, pressing a hand to his shoulder.

" Knock it off." 

Sukuna sighs as he glances at your much less intimidating glare. However, he does listen.

" I'll stay." 

Yuki and Choso are both quick to answer.

You glance at both of them, watching their reaction with surprise.

" Yuuji, you absolutely need Okkotsu or this woman's (Yuki) cooperation. Especially if Kenjaku comes here. Ending his life means salvation for my little brothers."

Yuki smiles at Choso's words.

" And I'm not done talking to Tengen. Is that all right, Okkotsu?"

" Yeah, I don't want to leave the others."

" Thank you. Now this-"

Tengen creates a small black hole, pulling out what appears to be a box.

" -Is necessary for freeing Gojo Satoru. It is the 'back' of the Prison Realm."

Megumi raises an incredulous brow.

" Back?"

Yuki raises a brow too.

" I've never heard of that."

Yuuji blinks.

" You mean like a back gate?"

Tengen nods (or does he? You're not sure.)

" Yes it is."

" Gojo Satoru is also sealed inside this rear gate. The authority to open it lies with Kenjaku. Breaking it open requires either the Inverted Spear of Heaven that nullifies cursed technique, or the Black Rope which cancels cursed technique effects."

Your brows shoot up, immediately drawing towards your best friend.

While Megumi and Yuuji both whine, you press a hand to Sukuna's arm in hope.

" You don't happen to have it with you? Do you? You always carry it around with missions." 

Sukuna blinks, brows furrowing in annoyance.

" Well get a load of this shit-"

-

[ Parallel Jujutsu Kaisen Universe, Tokyo Jujutsu Tech ]

" Is that?" 

" Yes."

Gojo Satoru tugs his blindfold off, as if needing to see it with his own eyes.

" Huh. He really dropped it. Is he dead?"

Gojo glances back at Megumi.

He leaves for one night, on a business trip, and apparently his students take that as a que to go do dumb stuff by themselves.

Megumi shakes his head, his brows furrowed in concern.

" No. I don't think so. He fell in this like... loop? It was really odd looking. Sensei, I don't think we can kill that curse. I think that wherever it put Sukuna, Y/N might be there too. Perhaps it works like the Prison Realm?" 

The corners of Gojo's mouth twitch up in a smile.

" Ah, you know what that is? "

Megumi nods, still focused.

" Well then,- "

Gojo gets up, putting his blindfold back on. As he passes by Megumi, he pats his fluffy back hair, the dame way he did many years ago.

"-Don't worry Megumi, sensei will take care of it."

Gojo steps away again  before turning back around. 

" Oh, and hide that away. We can't have people know that Sukuna is gone, and that the Inverted Spear of Heaven is still here. It's bound to bring trouble."

Megumi nods, glancing down at the weapon on the table with frustration. 

Where are his two most annoying classmates?

-

Yuki sighs, turning to Tengen.

" Is there another way?" 

" Yes. Among the players in the Culling Games, is a sorcerer from a thousand years ago who calls herself Angel. Her cursed technique can extinguish any cursed technique."

Megumi and Yuta's eyes widen.

" She can extinguish.."

" ...cursed techniques?"

" Yes. The angel's cursed technique can open the back of the Prison Realm. "

" Do you know where she is now?"

" The colony in the east side of Tokyo. The game barriers reject me, so I don't have anymore in formation."

However, that doesn't stop him from explaining even more stuff. Eventually, it comes down to this: There are 10 colonies in Japan. The games are to distract sorcerers and give Kenjaku an opening, so he can perform his plan on Tengen. The ritual for that might take around two months.

Which brings everything back to the current issue.

According to rule one ' After awakening a cursed technique, players must declare their participation in the colony of their choice within 19 days.'

" Right now, It's november 9."

Maki points out.

" The player sorcerers awakened around midnight at october 31."

Yuta reminds.

" So Tsumiki has roughly 10 days and 15 hours to declare participation.- Master Tengen, you said that refusing to participate results in death."

Megumi is evidently stressed out.

Rule two 'Any player who breaks the previous rule shall be subjected to cursed technique removal.'

" That is correct. "

Maki furrows her brows.

" Shoko was correct, sorcerers like me who don't have a cursed technique aren't at risk." 

" So, what about civilians who are already inside the barrier?"

Yuuji wonders rightfully.

Rule three 'nonplayers who enter the colony will become players at the moment of entry and shall be considered to have declared participation in the Culling Game.'

" They will at least be given one chance to exit."

Yuki supplies.

" How generous."

Sukuna's sarcastic voice drawls.

He can see how involved you are. How hard you're trying to understand the Culling Game. 

Which means you're going to get yourself involved. Which means he'll get himself involved as well.

More rules are explained, and honestly, it's so much your brain gives up.

Eventually, the worst comes to light.

Rule four, 'Players score points by ending the lives of other players.' And rule eight 'if a players score remains the same for 19 days, that player will be subjected to cursed technique removal.'

You swallow.

Yuuji looks at the ground, not liking this at all.

" So I'll have to kill people... again."

Megumi shakes his head.

" No. I have a few ideas."

Maki sighs.

" Well, that's the info we've got. Now we each have a role to play. Yuki and Choso will remain here to protect master Tengen. I will return to the Zen'In clan and collect cursed tools. Since Satoru was sealed, the Kamo and Zen'In clans cleared out the Jujutsu Tech's cursed warehouse. But since Megumi is now in charge-"

Sukuna, Yuuji and you look at him with wide eyes.

Of course, you know he's technically the rightful heir to the clanleader role, but has he actually taken on the role in this universe?

Megumi glances at all three of you.

" I'll explain later."

" -Afterward, I will find Panda and help address the game. And you, Yuta?"

" I'm going to enter a colony right away and take part in the game. Before the others participate, I want to gather information. I'll avoid nearby colonies so we don't end up accidentally killing each other. Barriers may block cellphone reception, so we might be out of contact for a while."

At once, his eyes widen as his connect to Yuuji's.

Ah, their tacky promise of Yuta killing Yuuji.

Megumi's brows furrow.

" Don't even think about it. I'll be fine." 

Megumi hold up a fist in a way to... reassure him..? Threaten him..? You're not sure.

" Yuuji. I'll use Water Manipulation on you if Sukuna takes over."

Yuuji's eyes widen as he faces you. Megumi raises a confused brow.

" What?"

" That night in Shibuya- You- you're the one who..?"

" Yes."

Yuta blinks, confused.

" What?"

" Water manipulation works on blood. " 

Choso supplies suddenly from where he's standing.

He nods at you in understanding while the rest remains puzzled. (Except for Sukuna of course- he already knows after all.)

" Don't kill him."

You shake your head.

" Yuuji'll be fine with me."

Megumi turns to Maki.

" Maki, what do we do?"

" You guys go to Kinji as planned."

Yuuji blinks.

" Kinji?"

" Hakari Kinji, a suspended third year." 

Yuta explains.

" Anyway, we're short handed, so we gotta rope in whoever we can. Y/N, Sukuna-"

" We're in."

Sukuna doesn't look happy, and you blink up at him.

He blinks back at you.

" I know you weren't planning on leaving."

You smile at him, nodding.

" What about Kinji, is he strong?" 

Yuuji is curious about this stranger.

" Well, he's moody. But when he gets worked up, he's stronger than I am."

Maki scoffs.

" That's not true."

What that said, you all leave, leaving Yuki and Choso behind.

" Choso!"

Yuuji calls him.

" Thanks. I appreciate it."

Choso smiles.

" Don't die, okay?"

Yuuji raises his hand in greeting as your group leaves.

Off to finding Hakari it is.

[ A/N: Holy shit, sorry for the very late update, this chapter was such a pain to write damn.]

The Anomaly Taglist:

@luxylucylou @kalulakunundrum @strxbxrrylover @aethersslave @jenniferrvsesi @hanatsuki-hime @betizda @sh0uk1 @nymphsdomain @suppeepsandweebs @sweetchimpeaches

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[witchwhaat]

not me joining chan's live just as someone commented smth like "hey i'm 25 and i still haven't found my path and it's kinda weighting me down sometimes" 👁👄👁

[imperatorcopia]

i know im stupid and you will think so too but. my most fav guy texted me after 8 months and i replied

[arnold-layne]

i hate that finding a good job this day always requires networking. what about us antisocial bitches that say more words to an npc than to a human in a day. i really should be able to get a decent job with skills alone, not through someone i happen to know, because i don’t know that many people.

[fiddleabout]

didn't think it was possible to experience a more egregious level of Smart-Person Stupid than when dealing with doctors a work, but now. now. now, there are coders. god save me from smart people who couldn't find their ass without going around their elbow because i am about to kill a bitch.

[marsupials-of-mars]

.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

the problem with dream having a tendency to over-blame himself for things is that it's really hard to ever tell him something wasn't his fault because he's existed since the dawn of time and he is a chronic bad decision maker so no matter the situation, if you go back far enough, it was probably his fault somehow

and that's all he's gonna focus on

[quietwingsinthesky]

im just saying that a guy whose worldview is inflexibly based on the idea that the only two groups of people in the universe are the controlled and the ones who have the power to control them, and that there is no other way to exist, and who has done everything in his power to make sure he’s always in the latter group. i’m just saying that it’s possible this is not unrelated to. that time when he was used as a child by rassilon himself. its possible.

[piplupod]

talked to guy at centre about my anxiety and avoidance around applying for welfare and he was not super helpful but I expected that. however I was explaining the way I feel theres a clock ticking down to an endpoint (irt my money running out) and thats partially why I'm so stressed abt this all, and he asked me kind of hesitantly and cautiously like "...would your parents help or... ?" and I kind of was like UHHH PROBABLY NOT I DUNNO HAHA trying not to get choked up and also unsure what i can say, AND I'M JUST. ?? because what the fuck would any parents even do. if ur child runs out of money and cannot/"refuses" to work, then... what is there to do lol. like they could help w the welfare application process i guess but other than that...? i cannot think of what "help" would even mean in that situation