#LIKE EXCUSE ME UNIVERSE WHAT ARE YOU DOING

[sloanout]

It's interesting to see the occasional post where someone lays out all of Solas' crimes as if people are unaware of them or have forgotten. The condescending tone in a lot of them is what gets me, like it's not enough to loudly profess how much you hate the character, but it's also necessary to treat people that do enjoy them like children who can hardly read.

Like baby... Yeah, he did those things. We know. Your honor, he absolutely did that shit - but that's not the interesting part of the character. It's the circumstances and the ethical dilemmas therein that many find so compelling. War makes monsters of everyone, and no, that doesn't excuse every action taken, but it does lend it color and consideration. Solas is beloved in part because he's a fascinating study on the objective nature of good. It's wild to me that the most comparable character that comes to mind, Emet-Selch from FFXIV, is almost universally loved in stark contrast to the controversy around Solas (And sometimes there's good controversy. I enjoy having a nourishing discussion when everyone is respectful to each other and the source material).

I think so much of it has to do with how they carry themselves - Emet is absolutely steadfast and confident. He doesn't slip for a moment, the only soft center we see to him is legitimate love and longing for the past, not doubt or hesitation. Solas, on the other hand, is straight up repentant. He's not going to stop, but he's also absolute shit at hiding his pain and torment. Unlike Emet, he agrees that what he's doing is harmful. He acknowledges it over and over, but he's still a slave to the "greater good", as he sees it. There's a real vulnerability there, and I think it has this fracturing effect where it makes those who love him care for him more, and those who hate him go for the throat. For as much as he tries to be, he's not a perfectly cool and composed villain. The writers and devs make damn sure to break that facade of his, and I imagine that makes him hard to latch on to and rally for if you're a person that likes an absolute bastard.

Weakness is baked into him, and a lot of people find that utterly incongruous and revolting in a big bad with such a devastating history. But those that give him the time of day and try to understand get a lot of depth and intrigue to pour over. It's a double edged sword. His failings are his greatest appeal.

[lillaydee]

The Unlucky One Part 13

Joel Miller (No Outbreak AU) / F Reader

When it comes to love, Lady Luck seems to have lost your address. After being left at the altar without so much of an explanation, you decided love is no longer something you are interested in. Not even meeting an unlucky-in-love-himself Mr. Grump could change your mind.

Right?

Let me know if you want to be tagged, or if you want to be removed from the tag list.

WARNINGS: Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Grumpy Joel (The Last of Us), Jealousy, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Idiots in Love, unlucky in love, Child Abandonment, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us)

@peelieblue, @vickie5446, @harriedandharassed, @lovefreylove @martuxduckling @kikookii @liciafonseca @wowitsafemale @noisynightmarepoetry

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 12

---

“Hi Sweetheart.”

“I’m not your sweetheart anymore, Andy, you know that. You made sure of that,” you retorted. Joel immediately stood in front of you, aware who this was now.

“Please, Aria, let me explain? I’ve been looking for you all over. Please?”

“You knew exactly where she was when you left her at the altar, when she called you numerous times the days after that, when she came back from Bali. Why didn’t you look for her then? Why now?” Joel protested.

“Eric, this is none of your business. You need to let me speak to her alone.”

“This is not Eric, this is Joel,” you corrected him.

Andrew huffed. Wow, he said disbelievingly. You move fast.

“Excuse me?” Joel was starting to lose his patience.

“I mean, we just broke up, and just like that, she moved on to you,” Andrew mumbled, eyes on the flowers he was holding.  

“You mean you left me at the altar a few months ago, Andy. That wasn’t something that had just happened. And we didn’t break up. You dumped me.”

Another huff. 

“Leave, Andy, I don’t want to see you. We’re over. You made sure we were over. You got what you wanted, so please leave.”

“Aria, baby, please, at least just let me explain. I came a long way to see you.”

“Hey, she said she doesn’t want you here, you should leave, buddy,” Joel stepped further in front of you. He put Ellie down, and the little girl finally peeked her head out to look at the man who was making Joel and you so unhappy.

“Ellie?” Andrew asked, looking shocked to see her there.

Wait. How did he know Ellie?

Joel was about to close the door, but you stopped him. You needed to hear this now. He had never met your family other than your dads. Hell, until she was unceremoniously dropped on your doorstep you had never met her. You just found out she existed. How did he recognize Ellie?

“Joel,” you softly said, “Can you give us some time? I think I need to hear this,” you told him.

“You sure?” he asked you, looking worried, unsure.

You nodded. Please, you looked him in the eyes, imploring him to understand.

He was hesitant. But you were begging him to let you have this. So he relented, taking Ellie with him at your request. Maria met him at the door, asking him what happened, her eyes widening when she saw Andrew. She took Ellie inside, Sarah gleeful her friend had come for a visit. Maria immediately called Kyle to let him know what happened. She didn’t have a good feeling about this, she told him. She went back outside and leaned on Tess’s car with Joel, waiting. Just in case.

Andrew smirked, looking as if he’d won. “Is he your boyfriend? Or is he just the neighbour?” he asked, carrying his suitcase into your living room, handing you the flowers. An apology, he said, consider it the first of the many, many things he would do to have you back by his side.

You didn’t take the flowers. You stood in the middle of your living room, arms crossed on your chest, asking him to explain himself.

“You’re not gonna offer me something to drink?”

You didn’t respond. Your eyes were fixed on his. Months of this. Months of wondering what the fuck went wrong and he just waltzed in here acting like he deserved an offer of a drink?

He took a deep breath.

He wanted to surprise you for the wedding. He knew about your mother, the things you told him, the horrors from your past, but coming from such a close-knit family, he never understood why you were not on speaking terms with her. Family was everything to him. And he couldn’t fathom why you were so stubborn when it came to your mother. Sure, she did what she did, with Eric and Nell and all that, but surely now that you were happy with him, you would be more open to reconciling? He couldn’t imagine his life without his Mom, how could you go about your life without talking to yours? He just didn’t understand it. He talked to his family about it. His sister, Andrea, was sceptical, telling him that that sounded like the worst idea she had ever heard. But he wouldn’t hear it. He was convinced that you would thank him for it, and all would be well.

He went to your old town under the pretext of a work trip and visited your old house. He was shocked at how run down it was, despite it being in a fancy neighbourhood. Your mother seemed nice, so unlike the woman you had described to him. She told him ‘everything’. How you and your dads worked against her, how your Dad made sure she didn’t receive anything from your Grandpa’s estate, how you manipulated Eric into running away with you, leaving poor Nell alone and pregnant. How they were now living in destitution because of you.

He was shocked. What she had told him was the exact opposite of what you did. For a split second, he regretted his decision to go behind your back doing this. But if there was one thing about your mother, she was a great actress. She could be extremely persuasive when she needed to be. She brought out the poor, motherly tears, telling Andrew that perhaps she deserved all this, she was too soft, too trusting, she never thought her own daughter would do this to her.

He did question it. Out loud. But your mother countered everything one by one. How could her own father disown his one daughter? The one who was always there for him? Who did nothing but love him? You didn’t need the money. Your Dad was a successful lawyer. He could’ve paid for everything you needed. Think about it, Andrew, how could the will be changed? She saw the will herself, with her own two eyes. She was to inherit everything. But suddenly that will disappeared? Who could have possibly done that? Unless… a very successful lawyer was involved. A very successful lawyer, who, incidentally, retired right around the time you left. Think about it. Did you even work? Or were you just lazing around the house spending the millions you had stolen from her?

Andrew began to falter. You didn’t work, per se. You spent the first year he met you doing your Masters. You were freelancing after that, taking a paid job every few months, spending the rest of your time supposedly volunteering and coming up with a business plan to start your own business, which didn’t ever begin.

Eric was not a child, your mother said. He was in love with Nell, but you couldn’t accept it. You told everyone how Nell stole him from you, when the reality was quite the opposite. He was going to be a doctor – why on earth would he had agreed to being married to Nell if he didn’t love her? It was you all along. You couldn’t stand the thought of your sister being happy, that someone wanted Nell and not you. Last she heard, Eric took off heading towards you. Was he sure that she wasn’t seeing him behind his back?

That volunteer job, he thought – for Sunny House, a house for families needing a place to stay nearer to the hospital when their children were getting cancer treatments. You worked on that job for months, sometimes coming home way beyond his bed time. And you went out of town for that job too, claiming to work on another Sunny House, sometimes being away for up to a week. You even worked weekends.

Poor Nell, you mother further dug, seeing that her lies had started to affect him. Left all alone, pregnant and jobless. She had a hard time after Eric left. She became disabled after giving birth, your mother told him. They couldn’t afford proper treatment for her, if only a certain Dr Eric Williams was around.

Andrew turned his head at this. Dr Williams? The doctor you were working with for the Sunny House. It was a Dr Williams. He didn’t know his first name, though.

A little girl suddenly ran into the living room. Your mother took her by the hand, introducing her to Andrew. Look, she said, look at my poor granddaughter. Look how small she was. How could Aria do this to us? How could she take her father away from her?

He couldn’t believe it. That girl looked malnourished. Sick. Before he could even wrap his head around the sad state of the girl, a woman, looking frail and limping, came in and pulled her away.

You see what your perfect fiancée had done to her family?

The whole journey home, he couldn’t shake the images of your former home out of his mind. Of Ellie, of Nell, of the tears running down your mother’s cheeks. He felt as if he didn’t know you at all. What was he going to do? He was supposed to marry you in a few weeks.

When he got home, he couldn’t shake the disbelief off. He couldn’t ask you to confirm or deny anything. Of course you’d deny everything. He began to obsess about everything. He couldn’t even go home to face you. He googled the Sunny House project – a Doctor Eric Williams one of the volunteers. Well… that was all the proof he needed.

But he loved you. He loved the you that he knew. The one he had been with for years. The one he proposed to. The one who loved your dads and best friends, people you called your family.

But that you was a lie.

He needed to break up with you. He refused to spend the rest of his life with someone like you. But he knew that if he faced you, if you begged, if you cried, he would cave. And he couldn’t do that.

So he ghosted you. He couldn’t face you. He felt betrayed. He ignored your pleading texts and rejected your calls, eventually blocking you. He told his family what he knew. They all left your side and came rushing to his, everyone shocked at how blind they had been about you.

Everyone except Andrea. She wasn’t convinced. You had never used the word manipulative to describe your mother, but that was what she could gauge from what you had told her brother. She told him that manipulative people were great actors. She never believed for a second that you would do all that. Surely, if he had dug further, he would find out the truth. He refused to listen to her, unable to accept that he was lied to by such a sweet, frail old woman. He sent her to the house to get some of his things, but when she told him you had left for Bali, he suddenly felt as if he had been slapped in the face.

You left. For the honeymoon you were supposed to go on with him. Just like that. Really? Three days after he left you at the altar, two days after he blocked you, you just… left? You were not going to plead for him to come back anymore? Tear the town down to look for him? Explain things to him? To him, that solidified his theory. For all he knew, you went with that Eric guy. Andrea screamed at him that you did. You did plead. And he blocked you. He didn’t want to accept it. No. He unblocked you, and you still didn’t text or call. So he texted you, threatening to kick you out of the house. Message read, but no reply. And when he came back after you were due to arrive, all your belongings were gone.

He let his ego get the better of him and took it as him being right. That you had eloped with Eric. You must have. Who spent four years with someone, moved in with them, planned a wedding with them, and stopped begging after three days? Who moved on that quickly? He left you, and he couldn’t move on still. If you had left him, he would’ve done anything to get back to you. And you didn’t bother. He kept sending you texts, hoping to get any form of response from you, but you never bit. And one day, the texts just didn’t send anymore. Your email and social media deactivated, you simply disappeared.

Andrea came to him about that time, telling him that she had a new colleague, someone from your old town. She asked him if he knew you, and apparently, he did. Everyone did – everyone knew how your mother treated you. Everyone was happy you escaped. Everyone was happy Eric escaped. No one could do anything, though. Your mother was vicious, and no one wanted to be on the wrong end of the stick with her – she would destroy your lives.

No, he told her. You were cheating on him with Eric. The doctor you’d been ‘working with’ on the Sunny House project. Andrea googled him, Andrew smiling smugly when Dr Eric Williams’ name appeared. Unlike him, Andrea didn’t stop. A few more clicks, and a profile for a Dr Eric Williams popped up, a retired doctor who started the project when his five year old granddaughter Sunny died of cancer.

“This 70 year old retiree? You think Aria was cheating on you with this 70 year old retiree? You think this was the man her very young sister married? That Aria wanted him so much she manipulated this guy into running away with her while still being with you?” Andrea seethed.

It was then that Andrew panicked. He had let go of you, the woman he loved, over something someone you had warned him about said about you. He believed your mother over you. Made up an entire scenario in his head because of it. He needed to find you, get you back. He pleaded with Andrea to help him, but she said you dodged a fucking bullet when he dumped her. She wasn’t going to help him find you. Ever.

He tried for a while to look for you himself, to no avail. He was seriously looking into some private investigators when he received a text message from an unknown number – a picture of you, along with your address and phone number. He jumped on the first flight to Austin the very next day.

**********

You stood in front of him, finally knowing why he had dumped you so unceremoniously. You honestly thought you would be relieved, maybe conflicted about him once you found out. But nope. You felt nothing. You were not angry, you were not sad, you were not regretful. You just felt… whatever.

You walked towards the front door, asking him to leave. But he got on his knees and hugged your own, begging you to give him another chance. To forgive him. To start over. You pulled yourself away from him, but he was strong. Much stronger than you. Please, baby, please, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry. Please Aria, give me another chance. My life is not the same without you.

You finally managed to pry yourself away from him, opening the front door, asking him to leave. “You’re too late. I’ve moved on. Please move on too.”

He was full on sobbing, refusing to move. More begging. He’ll do anything, please.

When you didn’t say anything still, he got angry.

It was so easy for you, wasn’t it? To just leave and move on? Didn’t he mean anything to you? He made a mistake, yes he did, but he’s trying to make up for it. Did you even love him? If you did, you would take him back. Did you really fall for the next door neighbour within a few months? Was that how little he meant to you? That you could just forget the love you had for each other?

He got up and started towards you, hands grabbing at your arms, holding on so tight you were sure you were going to bruise. You were shocked. This man had never even raised his voice at you in all the time you had been with him. You wouldn’t have accepted him, stayed with him all those years if he had. You grew up with a mother who used you as a figurative punching bag, things like this were obvious red flags to you, and he hadn’t ever shown this kind of behaviour before. But in that very moment, you panicked. Tongue tied at his sudden outburst. You stared at him as he began shaking you, your mind and body trying hard to understand what was going on, unable to react.

“You don’t get to leave me, you hear me? No! I won’t accept it! You don’t get to leave me! I made a mistake, I apologized for it. You don’t get to leave me!”

You finally snapped out of your shock, struggling harder to get out of his grip, finally managing to get your arm moving, scratching whatever parts of him you could reach. You caught his chin, his skin breaking into a white line, before the pink droplets of blood began to bloom.

He yelled out, swiping at his face, seeing the small amount of blood decorating this finger tips, and his once sweet face you had thought you could never live without turned dark. You bitch, he whispered, raising his hand.

The door burst open, Joel, Tommy and Maria coming in like a storm, Joel immediately shoving Andrew away from you, so hard, the man ended up wedged in between the TV cabinet and the staircase, looking shell-shocked. Tommy had to stop him from hitting the guy, while Maria pulled you out of the house, just in case things went from bad to worst. Kyle drove up the driveway, jumping out of the car before it even fully stopped, rushing inside to help – at this point, to save Andrew’s life. Joel was livid, his entire body shaking, refraining from tearing this man apart. Kyle helped Tommy hold him back, telling him to ease up, Tommy telling him again and again he hadn’t hit you, if Joel did what he wanted to do, he might get in trouble instead. Ease up, brother, ease up.

Joel freed himself from their grasps, walking out to check on you, immediately hugging you tight, asking over and over if you were alright. You kept telling him you were, but he kept checking every bit of your body, trying to see if your ex-fiancé had left a mark on you. He was trembling still, his breath stuttering from the not so welcomed excitement of the last few minutes.

Andrew finally walked out of the house, looking so ashamed of himself, sobbing, trying to hug you to apologize. Joel put himself between you and Andrew, warning the man he had been patient enough. Andrew ended up sitting on your porch crying into his hands, the words I’m sorry falling from his lips like a chant.

Tess came out, phone in hand, worry clearly written all over her. Ellie? You asked, worried that she had heard the yelling, not wanting to scare the little girl. No, don’t worry, she said, the kids were watching something on an iPad in Sarah’s room at the other side of the house, not to worry, they didn’t hear anything. Anita was with them. They’re fine, she assured you.

You look nice, you told her, trying to distract yourself, clocking the make up on her face. She laughed, she was going out for a movie, she said, but she’ll stay now. Keep you company, she said, her fingers furiously typing on her phone. You were about to protest when another car drove into your driveway next to Kyle’s truck, and your other ex, Eric, jumped out, looking concerned at the scene in your driveway.

“You okay? What’s going on?” he immediately asked. Maria told him. He asked if everyone was okay, and you could only nod, thanking him for coming.

Wait.

How did he know to come right now? He just left this morning. And he’s back, looking rather dressed up, you thought.

“I just wanted to come visit, you know, I don’t know many people here, so I thought… I could use some time to hang out with my old friends, right?” he explained, laughing a little, before clocking Joel standing next to you, quickly adding, “I hope you don’t mind, Joel, I mean, we’ve known each other for so long, I just wanted to hang out, as friends, just friends, I promise,” he blubbered, looking at the man, who had calmed down considerably. Joel looked a bit incredulous, but offered a hand for Eric to shake, nonetheless.  

You stared at him in his flustered state, “You just left my house, like, not two hours ago, why leave at all if you were just coming back?” you said, your eyes narrowing, Maria’s eyes doing the same.

“Oh, I didn’t even think of that… I just have nothing to do on my off days, you know… and with what happened with Nell and your mother, I thought you would like a friend… I mean, I could go, if you prefer, you know what? I’ll just go… you must be busy… with Ellie… so…” he put his hands in his pockets, eyes down on his feet, turning around to back to his car.

“Eric, stay,” you said, still confused, but you didn’t want him to feel unwanted. He was your friend, after all, and you needed friends around today.  

His sudden, unexpected appearance actually calmed things down – everyone was so confused he was there even Andrew forgot this was the guy who supposedly started the whole mess he had created.

“Wait, what happened with your mother?” he asked, managing the whole sentence without sobbing.

Once Andrew had calmed down, you sat next to him on your porch and told him everything. Joel, Tommy, Kyle and Eric leaned against Kyle’s truck, not wanting to leave you alone with this man. To say Andrew was shocked to learn of the truth about your mother was an understatement, disbelief clearly written all over his features. She seemed so sweet, he said. He kept apologizing. He didn’t know what came over him. He didn’t think that one stupid decision he made months ago would end up like this, he told you. He’s kicking himself for his own stupidity. He honestly thought you would see his logic and take him back.

His life was not the same without you. He missed you. The house felt empty without you. His family was angry at him, once Andrea told them what he had really done. They loved you, and he pushed you away without much thought. He thought that if he could just find you, explain himself to you, that everything would be alright again.

You listened. And then, you asked him one question.

Would he had taken you back if you had done to him what he did to you?

He started sobbing again, shaking his head, admitting that he wouldn’t have.

Kyle offered to take him to the airport, and he accepted, resigned to the fact that you were never going back to him, finally admitting that you were right to come to that decision. Joel decided to go with, not satisfied for your safety until this man actually checked in. Andrew hugged you goodbye, Joel standing by just in case he went mental again. It was a wonder he didn’t just pull the man off you, finding himself having very little patience with this guy.

**********

He and Kyle waited for Andrew to check in. Andrew tried to make small talks with them both, but neither said much to him, Joel practically eyeing him the whole time as if worried the guy was going to run off back to you.

“You know, I’ve always been jealous of you,” Andrew said to Kyle. “You are her best friend, and you used to date. For years! You were her first boyfriend! You lost your virginities to each other. I don’t get that. How can the two of you still be friends? How can she still want you in her life? I mean, her granddad took you in, put you through college. Her dads love you. Heck, she introduced you to Ethan. After what you did to her, and she still kept you around. If it was me…”

“See, you should have remembered that before you decided to believe Esther. You had a kind, wonderful woman at your side, one who sees good in people, even those who put her through hell, and you threw that out for nothing. Good news is, she might break her streak with being friends with an ex with you. At least Eric and I never intended to hurt her. You did,” Kyle retorted, not even pretending to hide his tone.

Andrew rubbed his face, nodding. He looked at Joel. “So, you met her when she moved in next door? You move fast,” he said, trying to make light of things. He was jittery, feeling so small he couldn’t stop his foot from tapping.

“Actually, they met before that. I think they have you to thank for them meeting. If you had not dumped her at the altar, she wouldn’t have connected with Joel, here. She would’ve been busy on her honeymoon with you,” Kyle answered for Joel, annoyed that this man would even dare speak to him.

Kyle’s face fell. “You met her in Bali?”

Joel didn’t answer, still staring at him. Andrew had never felt lower in his life. He pushed you into Joel’s arms. And this guy seemed to care so much about you, willing to do anything to protect you. He didn’t even know if he would have intervened should you have been attacked in his presence. He was a tame city boy, and this Joel, he seemed… formidable. And Andrew was immediately consumed in jealousy, jealous of the fact that this Joel got to hold you at night, spend time with you, laugh with you, raise Ellie with you, just like a perfect little family. And he didn’t get to, due to his own foolishness.

He knew he had nothing to lose now, but he had to give it a shot.

“You’re a better person than me, Joel. You seem okay that she’s still hanging around her exes. The only reason I didn’t mind Kyle that much was because he lives here, and we were a good five hour flight away. And you know how I reacted to the possibility of her seeing Eric behind my back. I don’t know how you can stand her being in such close proximity with her exes. She’s still good friends with the other two too, isn’t she? The ones from college?” he looked to Kyle for confirmation, but the man just stared back at him.

“I mean, if I understand it correctly now, Eric was cruelly taken away from her, and they never had closure. Who’s to say she didn’t still carry a torch for him, and he for her? So the fact that you are okay this makes you the man, Joel, really. I salute you. And with all that drama with her mother and sister… I mean, the sister went nuts and murdered their deranged mother, leaving her daughter with her… And Ellie, she seems like a good kid. No way to know how disturbed she might turn out to be yet, really, but I’m sure she’s gonna be fine. I’m happy she has you. Not many men would be so… what’s the word… accepting. Yes. Accepting. Good for you, Joel, you’re a good man,” he said, his shoulders feeling a bit lighter seeing Joel avoid his eyes as he said all this, sure his intentions hit the mark.

“Okay, you’re done,” Kyle said, pulling him up by the shoulder. “Go check in, you’ve caused enough damage here,” he pushed the man towards the departure gate, following closely behind.

**********

Joel was quiet on the journey back home. Kyle kept looking at him, worried that Andrew’s poisonous words were affecting him. He cleared his throat.

“You know, the only reason Aria is still friends with me, and now I suspect she’s gonna be with Eric too, is because she has a good heart. Doesn’t mean she has feelings for us,” he tried, seeing that Joel was listening, even though he didn’t turn to meet his eyes. “What happened with her, I actually thought she was never going to speak to me again. Bill and her grandpa almost killed me. But they are good people, Joel. They helped me because I needed their help. Please don’t let that shithead’s words affect you. He’s just being petty, vindictive,” he stopped at the traffic light. “This is all my fault. I egged him on. I didn’t know he could be that low. I’m sorry Joel. Please don’t give up on her, she needs you,” he pleaded.

Joel remained quiet. He couldn’t even pretend Andrew’s scathing remarks didn’t affect him. He couldn’t even say for certain Eric’s sudden reappearance at your place didn’t make him pause. He got used to Kyle, but perhaps, the fact that he was with Ethan made him certain of your friendship with him, but Eric? The insecurity he felt when first introduced with Eric at the hospital suddenly bubbled up again.

And then there were the last two nights. You sought Eric’s company when you were down, not his. You found comfort in Eric, not him. You found your peace in Eric, not him.

Andrew as right. Your relationship with Eric was rudely interrupted. Who’s to say you didn’t still feel things for him? Or he for you? And seeing how nervous he was to see Joel there when he drove up your driveway this morning? All dressed up too, so different than the jeans and ratty t-shirt Joel saw him wear around the house those two days he was there. What if he was trying to ask you out? See if things could reignite with you?

And who was he to stand in your way? He was just someone you met a few months ago. He shouldn’t be in the way of your happiness. He shouldn’t be jealous, right? You were with him, he’s sure of it.

Unless… you called him over that morning to break up with him when Andrew interrupted?

No… you kissed him. Hugged him. Joked with him. You wouldn’t do all that and then break up with him, right?

Right?

Kyle drove up your driveway, jolting him out of his thoughts. He got out, and went to your door, hoping to continue the conversation from that morning. But he heard Ellie’s squeals from the living room. He peeked in your window, Eric giving Ellie a piggy back, the little girl having the time of her life, you watching with a huge smile from the couch.

He suddenly felt out of place, and when Kyle asked if he was coming in, he shook his head, turning around and going into his own front door instead.

---

Part 14

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Help, I Reincarnated as the Female Lead’s Sister-in-Law!

‘Slight’ Yandere! Dion Agriche x Fem! Reader

Chapter 17

Story Masterlist 

Arranged marriage AU

Interact with this linked post to be added to the tag list.

NOTE: The first rough draft was very… different. Dion would have been irredeemable if I went with that (I wrote it forgetting that I didn’t want him to be that way in this story, only to read it to edit it, read the document title, realized my mistake, made a new document because I spent days on it and do want to eventually post it, used the beginning of the og rough draft to start this one, spent even more days to make this). Maybe one day I’ll post it, but it is very non-con heavy. If I ever do, then just think of it as a parallel universe thing for/of this story. But the Dion in this main story is different (He’s still horrible but consent is sexy to him). (Please remember that the content on this blog can and will be heavy and should not be seen as excusable or normal). In other words, I do write about and interact with non-con fics but I do NOT condone rape in real life. Just thought that I would put this reminder here since I may post other fics containing it soon.

Also Zac shows up and he’s a little shit who thinks he walks the walk.

Warnings: slight themes of obsessiveness and possessiveness, slight yandere themes, toxic marriage/relationship, implied physical abuse (towards a toy), mention of the reader becoming a toy, slight blood, themes of imprisonment, implied hypothetical murder, attempted sexual assault (pretty sure), violence used for self-defense, implied past stalking, implied depression, anxiety, near panic attack, mention of vomit, accidental self-injury (you sprained your ankle), one (1) mention of incest, implied perverted thoughts (Fontaine), fear of implied non-con by Fontaine, horrible attempts of connecting everything together as you will soon see. Please tell me if I missed any.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE HARMFUL AND/OR DANGEROUS ACTIONS AND/OR BEHAVIORS THAT MAY TAKE PLACE IN THIS PIECE OF FICTION. THESE ACTIONS/BEHAVIORS SHOULD NOT BE NORMALIZED NOR ROMANTICIZED AS THEY ARE BOTH EXTREMELY TOXIC AND DANGEROUS.

MINORS/BLANK BLOGS/BLOGS THAT DO NOT INTERACT WITH OR REBLOG ANYTHING FANDOM RELATED (FICS, ART, ETC.) DNI.

= = =

His declaration shakes you to the bones. 

Your mind blanks as your eyes become wide. Sounds are drowned out by the ringing in your ears, a bomb going off. He’s in front of you but you don’t see him - mentally, you were elsewhere.

You return to earth when Dion squeezes your hand. Reluctantly, he releases it, but stays on his knee, his deep scarlet eyes holding something unreadable. Neither of you move, the staring contest is long. You’re the one who breaks it, looking off to the side as his red hues engrave themselves into your mind. 

It’s an image that will haunt your dreams, blood spilling onto the ground as he locks you up in a physical cage, corpses scattered around it. Holding the key as he asks you to sing.

You swallow. Your foot rapidly taps on the floor as your mind races with replies you can’t even say. He wasn’t like this in the manhwa. You heard he only got more violent in the novel until a certain point. 

That he was still crazy obsessed with Roxana.

And yet, it is that very man who got on one knee, calling himself your dog. And for what? An ounce of affection? 

A nervous laugh makes its way out as you attempt to play it off. He’s just tired, he’s lonely, he’s only playing with you until you completely break. This is entertainment for him, but it doesn’t change the fact he still has the keys to your handcuffs. He doesn’t plan on unlocking them.

“O-oh, um, oh my - I-I think… I think th-that yo-you need so-some sleep,” quickly gathering yourself, you stand and walk away once Dion gives you enough room. Of course, he doesn’t do so immediately, his eyes instead becoming glazed over with something dangerous. 

He looks at you like you’re his prey, strategies of capturing you happening in real time. The color of his eyes resembles warm blood, and you become uneasy once you realize you could have made him snap just now. There is no visible anger, which should have been a good thing - however, the way he eyes you makes you feel like you’re already between his teeth.

You can feel them piercing your skin already. You rub the side of your neck at the phantom pain.

Taking the opportunity presented, you quickly walk past him. You stop at the door, sweating buckets, twitching fingers almost wrapping around the handle. The reason for your hesitance is simple - his voice. Anxiety picks at you when he calls your name. 

You should leave now. 

Your lips tremble as you reply. The air around you feels heavy. The room is stifling.

Your husband pauses before he continues. “Whether or not you believe me right now, remember I have no plans of letting you go. But feel free to use me as you wish.” 

What is this guy saying!? He’s mental, why can’t he just -

“... have a good nap. You need one.” 

He doesn’t give chase when the doors shut behind you. You don’t let yourself lean against it despite the desperate pleas of your unsteady body. The fact he’s in there is enough to move you, scampering away like some bug. 

Your heels clack on the tile, footsteps echoing too loudly. The decor is too fancy, too expensive despite it only being hallways. The sound of footsteps is right around the corner and you hold your breath, not knowing who it could be.

Unfortunately, it happened to be one of your in-laws. 

“Oh! And here I thought you already broke,” a cute redhead girl snickers, her green eyes gleaming with mirth. Despite her stature, shorter than you and petite build, Charlotte's pale skin seems flushed.  

A quick glance at her overall appearance shows leaves in her fluffy hair and specks of blood on the hem of her light green dress that ends a bit below her knees. She didn’t show up much in the manhwa and you don’t know what became of her in the novel - you have to tread carefully. 

You give her a small smile. “Oh, Lady Charlotte. I haven’t seen you since the wedding. I hope you have been doing well.” You don’t stutter but your voice wavers. Her head tilts before she smirks.

It resembles Lant’s. 

“You’re funny - shouldn’t you be worrying about yourself? It’s only a matter of time until either Dion or Father decides to dispose of you.” Her pearly whites put you on edge when you notice how sharp her canines are. She keeps going as she crosses her arms with a cocky smile.

“But, whenever that happens, maybe I’ll take you in as a toy - as long as you behave, I’ll take good care of you. I’m one of the less violent ones when it comes to obedient toys.” 

You give her a flat look that goes over her head. 

Yeah right kid…

Unease eats you from the inside out regardless of your inner thoughts. Why is everyone so aggressive? So coy or sadistic? They’re hunters on the prowl, excitement added to their lives as new prey arrives.

If Dion doesn’t sink his teeth into you, they will. 

“O-oh…” How am I supposed to respond to that!? Even with your confusion and fear, you still manage a reply. “I’m sure that you’re keen on keeping them… operational.” 

The girl raises a brow. “You don’t seem surprised… Wait, do you even know what ‘toys’ are?” She questions as her feet spread a bit further, frustration painting her facial features. Now, why is she getting mad…?

No, rather why is she surprised? You’ve been here long enough to know what they are, unless, of course, she was too dense to consider that possibility. It seems that despite her personality, a child is still a child.

“O-oh, mother-in-law explained the basics to me,” a half lie is told through your teeth. While it’s true Maria had given you the barebone definition - against your will -, you already knew what they were from your previous life. From the manhwa. 

She grinds her teeth and stomps her foot. “That’s not fair! I was supposed to be the one who introduced them to you! Not that old hag!” 

Oh, she wanted to scare me.

“Oh…” While she’s fuming, you toy with your fingers, unsure how to proceed further. For one, trying to walk past her might anger her more. But staying here quiet might elicit the same response. You were stuck. 

She mumbles angrily to herself, voice too low for you to make anything out. You stand there awkwardly, waiting for her temper tantrum to end. She whips her head to look at you again, making you recoil back from the sudden movement. Her glare is sharp and she takes a step towards you only to stop herself.

“Ugh!”

“...” You watch as she turns her back and stomps away without another word. She does look back once, her green eyes full of fury that burns. Seems that you narrowly avoided a missile. 

She turns around the corner back from which she came. You remain in place until her footsteps get further and further away. Once no noise is heard, you can finally breathe again. Fixing your posture, you continue on your walk with no destination in mind.

- - -

He had heard news of a guest, but didn’t bring it up with the busy man, instead offering something else. Still, it was odd that the head of the (Last Name) family would keep a guest waiting.

“Father, why don’t we go for a walk?” Zac buzzes around your father like a busy bee, glancing down at the paperwork the older male was filling out. He barely makes out a certain name before the head of the family covers it with his arm, looking at the boy who resembles his wife.

 “The weather is nice and perfect for bug catching.” 

Your father shakes his head. “Not now, Zachary, I still have a few things left to sign.” Your younger brother frowns at the dark circles underneath the man’s eyes. Too deep and dark. The greying man halts his actions before softening his voice.

“Come back in two hours - we’ll take a walk.” He leaves no room for discussion. Taking it as a small victory, Zac bids him farewell, looking over his shoulder at the once joyous man with bright eyes. He has been reduced to nothing more than an overworked dog. 

It’s a pitiful sight. 

And yet, your brother still resents your father for giving you away to a brutal family, the head of which is worse than the devil himself. While he understands why he couldn’t say ‘no’, the fact he caved so easily makes him bitter.

The young boy just couldn’t wrap his head around it. One of  the reasons for your arranged marriage was a bit obvious after meeting Dion, but the full details are still unknown. And even then, the Agriche denied he was the one who suggested marrying into the family. But only a fool wouldn’t have noticed his stare and how conveniently he had a clear view of you at every gathering, every ball.

They called him paranoid. 

‘Hah! And in the end I was… right…’ he kicks the thought out the window.  

Try as he might, Your father kept quiet about the full details, distracting Zac with promises of outings and trips to the forest once he’s done. 

New lessons that are above his age-range so the boy would study more, harder, leaving no room for him to sate his curiosity, answers needed yet not given. However, your father didn't take into account just how cunning his son was when it came to avoiding the teachers and rushing through the lessons. 

He lingers in the hallway after the office door shuts. Across from your father’s office are three small portraits - your sister Elena when she was in her teens, his that was commissioned last year, and yours, taken a month before you turned eighteen.

A small reminder of the person you were before your marriage, bright eyed with a sweet and genuine smile.

‘Oh. So that's why he commissioned it.’

Zac stares at it for a bit longer before he walks away, head high high, a destination in mind. He needs to apologize for his father’s rudeness, after all.

It’s not a long walk, a rather short one to get to the area where they hold guests. A left turn and he’s there, the doors shut as two guards stand outside. He frowns at the challenge that stands between him and his goal.

He needs to talk to that person. He already knows who he is, as he was sent by a certain Agriche every now and then, the man awkward given the situation. He’s not sure why when the doctor isn’t directly involved with the house affairs of Black Agriche and (Last Name). Still, he’s a guest and should be treated as such.

 However, it doesn’t change the fact that one who sent him was the very man who watched you from afar. He should have told you and not them. Maybe then you wouldn’t be in that hellhole. 

Still, he’s slightly, barely better than the first candidate suggested by Lant. He kicks himself for thinking about his repulsive brother-in-law in any sort of decent light.

Small amounts of anxiety sparks throughout his body. They’re armed, stiff. Considering who it was, it would only make sense to keep him guarded. Or to keep him trapped, rather.

He scoffs, knowing that their visitor wasn’t adapted in combat. Nor was he a trouble maker, always quick to leave once everything was said and done.

He wonders what he came here for.

Still, it’s not like he can stop here. He strolls up to the two men with a boyish grin, calming his beating heart. With a whistle, he greets him as they bow, staying in place. Their swords are in their sheaths, ready to be drawn.

He knows they won’t hurt him, but the nervousness is still there.

“Wow. Now this is interesting - who’s the big shot?” Hands in his pockets, Zac’s eyes gleam with mischief, pretending he doesn’t know who’s on the other side. The guards don’t leave their post.

“Just a visitor, Young Master,” one answers with a glance to the other. They look nervous.

“I can see that,” Zac shrugs, amusement building as the man only makes it look more suspicious. Do they not know how to be subtle?

No. Rather, does he not know how to mind his own business? He imagines you right here, scolding him for involving himself in matters that he’s too young to understand, before you sigh and say how you worry about him.

 “But why are there two of you stationed here? Usually it’s one max, unless it’s something dire… not to mention father is still locked away in his office. Are they here for my mother?”

“It’s… complicated. He was promised an audience with the Master at some point, that’s all we know.”

“Then why say it’s complicated?” The man behind that door - he’s the only guest to ever have two guards stand outside the room. Do they think he’s an idiot? No, rather, why are they hiding his identity when the Heir of the (Last Name) family has already met him? 

Or maybe his father had decided to leave him out of it. For his own good or whatever else, he doesn’t know.

The other guard takes his shot. “Don’t mind him, Young Master - always wanting to make things mysterious.” An awkward chuckle that’s returned by the other two. Your brother stays.

However, the severnats and guards of this house have always been weak to him - no, to all of the children of (Last Name).

“Speaking of father… he’s been down in the dumps. He’s been cooped up in that stuffy room all day - how inappropriate would it be to rush him?” He tilts his head, (h/c) bangs falling over his eyes. “He needs a break and that guy,” he points at the heavy doors, “shouldn’t be kept waiting - two birds with one stone.”

He’s spewing out whatever. He just wants to see the man, although, it would also be a lie to say he didn’t want his father to take a break. But he uses the visitor against them as well.

After all,  that doctor must be so fatigued, traveling so far. “It’s rude to keep him waiting. That’s assuming he’s been here for a while, if not, then I apologize for my impudence.” 

The little shit bows as the guards share a look. An uneasy yet guilt ridden furrow of their brows shows he was correct in the visitor waiting for a tad too long. A pause before one responds, only to be interrupted by the youth. 

“Of course, it isn’t exactly my place to speak, but…,” his (e/c) eyes shine as he bitterly smiles, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m just worried about them. The guest since he’s been waiting, and my father is still mourning after he gave my sister away… I just want to show her that our father is still taking care of himself and his duties.”

He doesn’t even know what he’s yapping. He’s saying anything that comes to mind now, trial and error proving what’s working and what’s not.

“To be honest, it feels more like she passed away rather than getting married. I don’t want him to become depressed, and I certainly don’t want our guest to think he’s lousy because of his current actions." When he looks up, the guards look more guilty. 

It’s funny, seeing how none of this was their fault. He does feel some guilt, but not enough to shut up.

If you were here you would have dragged him away. 

“But, if father is too busy, then I wouldn’t mind giving our guest some company - if anything, maybe it’ll show just how much effort I am putting in as the Heir. A guest should never wait for so long.” 

The guards share one last look. “Well… just for a bit. We already checked his person and didn’t find anything suspicious or dangerous. And even then, we confiscated all of his belongings.” Now he feels worse, but also entertained - was it really a good idea to let a twelve-year-old in alone with an important guest?

The answer is no, but they let him in anyway. Then again, why wouldn’t they? He’s Zachary (Last Name), the same boy they watch grow up, who might be impish but is on his best behavior when the time comes for it and -

“Thank you for allowing me to keep him company.” 

There’s a chance one might leave and report this to your father. There’s also a chance they’ll keep quiet and warn him that his time is up when the appointment time is near.

The door closes behind him and he sees a certain redhead sitting on the lounge chair. He looks stiff, relaxing not in his dictionary. The sound of the creaking doors makes the guest jittery.

Once the guest turns his head, Zac greets him. 

“Hello, doctor.”

- - -

“Ack…” shivers crawl down your spine as you hold back a sneeze. The sharp sensation leaves as quickly as it came. 

How odd. 

The distraction is forgotten as you open a door that leads into an outdoor hallway. You stop in your tracks as you look ahead. A heavy metal door greets you at the other end, but on the wall on the right side are many. Full sets of armor serve as decoration.

Your heart flutters. This is the location where Dion confronted Roxana for the first time.

Roxana with her wet hair that only made her golden locks look more like gentle waves. Roxana, where her green skirt prettily went with her semi-sheer white shirt, the blue and gold necklace that, despite being simple, brings the outfit together. Roxana with her bandaged arm that would be drenched in blood as Dion roughly grabbed it and -

Oh. right. Dion.

The memory of the manhwa along with the undesired events that took place earlier increase your dislike of him. But… Why was he so different here than he was there? Maybe… It's because the main story hasn’t started yet. 

Or maybe you’re too tired to think of other possible explanations.

“... I wonder if that door leads into Cassis’ room…” you mumble to yourself, debating if you should just turn around. Truthfully speaking, you were zoned out the entire time, so you don't even know how you got here. Or how to get back. 

But do you want to go back? What if Dion’s still in the bedroom - then what? It’s his, so you can’t kick him out. And even if it was yours, you wouldn’t have the guts to do it then, either. 

“...” with a sharp breath, you start to walk forwards, slowly like an injured animal, wary of what’s up ahead. With each step comes bubbling anxiety, unaware of where it is that you’re going. Your mind won’t shut up.

Should I keep going?

What if it’s a room meant for toys?

Or worse, I run into someone willing to hurt me?

Maybe I should turn back. 

I’m scared. 

It feels like hours but it only took minutes, at most, to reach the doors. You grab it by the circular knob and prepare to open it. But your arm freezes.

Your entire body does. The sun is out but you feel cold. Your breathing picks up once you hear one of the doors to the side open, heavy footsteps accompanying the creak. Pure terror and fear starts to rot you from the inside out as you hear a familiar and disgusting voice - you only heard it once, during your wedding. But you never forgot it.

It’s impossible to.

You bite your lip, wishing that this man was already dead. But he’s not, dread crawling down your spine as seconds pass. It’s cold, the feeling that the fiend gives you.

Repressing a violent tremble, your ears bleed as that voice greets you, gruff and low, once annoyed but becomes amused at the sight of you. You may hate and fear your husband, but this man is worse. 

“Oh? If it isn’t Dion’s little wife - (Name), right?” Fontaine Agriche snickers out and you shut your eyes while mentally preparing yourself. Your hands shake and legs buck under your weight. Even so, you let go of the door knob to face and greet your in-law with a curtsy, eyes shaking with fear.

Of all the people to run into… Why him?

Your right thumb starts to sting, your bad habit never going away. You ignore it.

Alarm bells always go off with your husband. But sirens are screaming as you stand before Fontaine, trying your best not to let out the scream that’s bubbling in your throat. Your body feels heavy and resists you as you force your head up. Against your wishes, you take in his appearance by habit.

He’s not ugly but dull looking - however, when he eyes you like a piece of meat, you decide that he’s ugly after all. Even Dion doesn’t do that, and it’s an extremely low bar. Doesn’t change the fact that both men are perverted, but, ironically enough, you feel safer with Dion.

You almost scoff at yourself - Dion? Making you feel safe? Maybe pigs are flying in your old world.

This man has images of forced intimacy flashing in your mind. Screams that would be ignored if heard. Forget being locked in a cage - your gut tells you that a worst faith awaits you if you were to ever become too involved with Fontaine. You swallow down bile.

Sweat pools at the nape of your neck. A primal, raw fear and caution kicks at you, more vibrant, stronger than the one you feel with Dion. With him, it feels like imprisonment, but with Fontaine it feels like rape.

 You stop yourself from licking your dry lips, from acting too submissively. Your heart hammers against your ribcage painfully, a thud at the back of your head.

You bite your tongue hard enough to almost taste blood. You don’t want to talk to him, but what choice do you have? 

Don’t stutter, please, please please.

“Oh, I’m gla-glad that you remember my name, Young Master Fontaine.” You stutter once as your voice wavers and you’re cursing yourself mentally. Showing weakness in front of this man was a mistake - especially when he licks his lips, his eyes focused on your chest. 

You resist the urge to recoil in disgust. To be so… apparent with his sexual urges… does he have no shame? 

“How could I? After all, you’re a pretty little thing - it wouldn’t make sense for me to not remember your name.” Your eyes travel to the collar of his expensive shirt - specks of blood that stain it. The same goes for his sleeve and even on his cheek, right where his scar is. 

You look at the door where he came from. You put two and two together - he must be leaving a toy’s room. Your stomach twists painfully at the realization. 

The thought of you becoming his has your blood rushing. You look behind him - how far was the door on the other side?

It feels like something is tugging at your feet, making your movements sluggish. You push through the pressure that threatens to drown you. 

“I’m… flattered, but I’m not sure how my husband would react to that,” you gulp when his smile twitches into a scowl at the mention of his accursed brother. However, he quickly breaks into a grin with a quick glance around the area. He sees that you’re alone.

That fact makes panic rise deep inside your chest. Your gut is telling you to run.

“Come now, it’s not like I'm crossing any boundaries. I’m sure Dion would understand where I’m coming from.” He takes a step towards you, gauging how close he should get. You need to end this encounter, your gut screams.

Your legs twitch and you hold yourself back from walking past him. You also hold back from kicking him in the groin, the one area that would have him double over in pain. The thought is tempting when you can barely listen to rationality.

“That’s… interesting. How about we go ask him real quick? I just left our room not too long ago.” Your smile looks warm to the grey-eyed man, but the corners of your lips threaten to slip. It’s painful to keep the facade. 

Your brother-in-law takes another step towards you. His grin widens once he sees the hint of fear in your eyes. His confidence nearly makes you gag.

“You just left? And he didn’t accompany you?” He smells like blood, fresh and raw. A primal look of lust is in his eyes, and when his gaze sticks to the base of your neck, you feel like throwing up. He hums in thought.

Is he really… lusting after me, his sister-in-law!? Wait, considering he wanted Roxana in the manhwa, it’s… still disgusting.

Your voice catches in your throat, so he talks for you. “If it were me,” he starts as he backs you against the doors, “I wouldn’t have left you alone in this maze of a mansion.” One of his hands presses against the metal near your waist. Ever so slowly, it moves from the door and to your waist, teasing the fabric of your dress before he fully grabs you. You glance at it before looking back at his face, stomach churning and faith dwindling further. 

You need to get out of here. 

“O-oh… Lady Roxana!? I didn’t expect to see you here!” 

Fooled by your warm smile and excited voice, Fontaine looks behind him, only to see no-one. While he’s distracted by your lie, you quickly stomped on his foot using the heel of your shoe. Your reflexes have chosen both flight and fight. 

He howls in pain, bringing his foot up enough to hold it.

“Y-you bitch -”

“Sorry, I have to go!” 

Taking this opportunity, you run past him, faster than you ever have. It was like you weren’t even wearing heels, barely able to open the door as his hands grasp at your skirt, the man recovering from the surprise attack. You gasp when gets a hold, and since he was so focused on getting you, he was too cocky and pissed to notice your elbow flying to his throat.

“G-gah!” He gasps for air and in pain, saliva dribbling down his chin. You don’t look back as the door shuts behind you. 

CLACK, CLACK, CLACK

Your lungs scream for air, a sharp pain in your feet as your legs beg for rest. You don’t listen to them, running down the hallway like a mad woman. It’s a ghost town and that makes you fear for your safety even more - no eyes to watch him. No-one to report him to Dion, if they bother to.

But a small part of your mind suggests that maybe this could be a good thing. For one, you don’t know how Lant would react if he were to find out that you injured his first born once it gets reported to him. Not only that, but if it’s a low ranked servant or guard, no-one would fight against him, and even if they did stand up to him, he could and would easily kill them. 

He’s strong enough to do so.

He has the authority to get away with it.  

Then, another thought hits you - what if none of the siblings know about Dion’s obsession over you? That he would willingly punish them if they get too close - or, at least you assume so. Regardless, most would stay far away from you if they ever learn he favors you.

After all, who would try their luck with the most brutal Agriche? The favorite son, the most skilled in hand-to-hand combat and sword fighting - it would be a death wish. Only a fool would try to take what’s his.

Your lungs start to burn. Air is harder to take in, and you have to force your legs to keep going. You have to. Getting caught by your even more perverted brother-in-law is not an option.

You’re starting to regret leaving the bedroom.

“Hah, hah, oh fuck, it hurts,” you pant, your speed decreasing. You push through the smothering pain until you reach a dead end - two doors on each wall. You try the left, rattling the doorknob, only to find that it’s locked. You try the other and it opens, but in your panic, you open it too quickly, falling into the room, twisting your left ankle in the process.

“Where the hell is she!?” He’s not near you but he screams so loud it echoes off the walls.

At Fontaine’s yelling, you crawl into the room, wincing as it shuts close louder than it should.

You can’t hear him anymore. Your lungs work overtime to take in air, on fire despite resting. Drool hangs from your mouth directly as you hang your head. On your knees, you start to dry heave, slamming a hand over your mouth to prevent you from throwing up and to muffle any noise. 

Your left ankle starts to sting almost unbearably. It feels like needles are being stabbed into it, sharp and pointed. Slowly, your gaze travels to it as you move your dress away from the area. You can’t stop yourself from scoffing at your horrible luck, the swelling already forming. 

“Hah. I just sprained it…” ironic that you ran for your safety only to hurt yourself in the process. The pain distracts you from the events that just transpired, running away from Fontatine. Your fingers curl as fists form on the floor.

The tile is nice and cold. But it doesn’t help much with the forming tears and swollen ankle. You want to cry, a tight pressure in both your eyes and temples. A scream is on the verge of being released but you hold it back by biting your lip.

You taste blood and feel something warm leaking from your lip. The metallic flavor overrides the sour and bitter vomit that was stored in your gums and mouth. 

The tears fall easily. Too hot. Too wet. A sob rips itself out of your throat, chest trembling with the action. 

You freeze when you hear a woman’s voice. 

“Oh? What happened here?” A chair scrapes across the floor, soft steps that stop right next to you. Brown heeled boots enter your vision as your head is too heavy to lift. 

The skirt of her dress is a light green, ending right above her feet. She gets on her knees, her dress giving her a thin padding on the floor. One last shaky breath before you manage to lift your head, meeting soft red eyes - softer than Roxana’s, not as bright as your husband’s. Brown hair that ends at her upper back, straight and her bangs on either side that exposes most of her face.

Her eyes have a brown tint, curiosity in them rather than worry.

Grizelda Agriche.

= = =

So, how’s Zac guys? Everything will make sense. Eventually (I am crying). My pacing is horrible.

Tag list: @umi-adxhira @queenofspades403 @pix-stuff @manitscold @tiny-mimi @cjafjatkstke @louissatturi @disappointment-san @s-ajia @darkumbreon92 @rentaldarling @puggyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee @labryel

[macsimagines]

Yandere!Mikey W/ BabyTrapped!S/O

MINORS DNI WARNINGS: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR, STOCKHOLM SYNDROME, PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, BABY TRAPPING

MANJIRO (MIKEY) SANO

He swears up and down you're an ungrateful bitch. At one point, he'd never say that to your face but as his world kept getting colder and darker Manjiro had become a more aggressive and cruel version of his former self.

God forbid he let you go and end this torment for the both of you. But misery loves company and he likes to think he loves making you miserable. The truth that you're too hurt to see and he's too in denial to accept is that he loves you too much to let you go. Mikey needs you to save him from himself and all you want is for somebody to save you from him.

So now you're trapped. He keeps you in a nice apartment with everything you need or want, not like that will keep you from feeling cooped up and trapped.

The isolation isn't even the worst part. Its his bipolar mood swings. He goes from pretending you don't exist to venting all his anger out on you. Whether that's through sex, insults, intimidation or on the very rare occasion violence, always varies.

That all changed when he found out you were pregnant. Suddenly he's back to being soft and gentle with you. Mikey had turned into some kind of unfeeling and abusive monster then somehow went back to being normal? No he was... so much more compassionate.

Rubbing soft circles into your muscles like he hadn't left bruises on that very same skin only a few months prior. He speaks with such tender care and love like he didn't used to spit how worthless you are. He looks at you like you're the answer to the universe like you're the most precious thing on the planet. Like you could break him.

It makes sense then that the complete 180 had nothing to do with you and everything to do with your baby. The one you didn't even get to decide to have. You honestly aren't even sure if you love it or not.

The sad thing is that the only feelings of affection you have for the growing life inside of you is actually just lingering emotions that this new version of Mikey is bringing up.

A sick ugly part of you believes that maybe this means there's hope for you two yet. That you could use this baby as a chance to pull Mikey out of his insanity. Like you could have a normal life and family together.

The logical part of you tells you that you're sick and demented if you honestly think love and care can fix what's been broken. Its like you're making excuses for a version of him that's been dead a long time.

His criminal empire is too huge for him to back away from, and you know that Mikey will become even more unhinged if his precious child is ever put in danger.

But he's been so careful with you. Attentive to your needs and comforts and just... relaxed when caring for you during your pregnancy. Like it's what he's meant to do.

Maybe its because he's soo sidetracked that he forgets to secure locks. That's why when you get up to go to the bathroom and find the door open that you're gunning for freedom.

You make it one waddled sprint to the door and feel your feet abruptly stop by the foot hold. Mikey's big and child like eyes enter your mind and you find yourself frozen.

Every terrible thing he's done or said runs through your head all at once. "I didn't mean to." "I won't ever hurt you again." "Quit actin' like you're in pain, Y/N. I barely even touched you." "You're fucking worthless." "You mean the world to me." "I could replace you in a heartbeat." "I can't live without you." "You'd die without me." "I love you."

You should leave. But you can't. You can't find it in yourself to leave all these demons behind. One in particular needs you. Loves you. How could you ever be so selfish as to throw that all away? Whose going to love him when you're gone?

He finds you like that at dawn. When its too cold in the bed and his hands aren't holding your belly. His baby. Mikey is out of breath when he catches you just standing there at the threshold. You look how he feels. Ice-cold.

How long have you just been standing there? For one ugly second he thinks of breaking your legs. Snapping the bone in his hands and choking you when you try to scream. But then his eyes travel to your belly and he bites back those dark urges.

Mikey needs you. He loves you. Both of you. He won't hurt you. Not anymore.

He's gently guiding you back inside wrapping his shaking arms around you and resting an unsteady palm to your stomach. Like physically feeling the bump there will bring calm to his beating heart. He hates the shell shocked look on your face, stress is bad for the baby.

Don't worry. Mikey will take care of everything. He just needs you back inside your gilded cage nice and safe. Forever.

[messrsrarchives]

Heyy!

So I recently have been rlly getting into snupin and platonic snily and just overall marauders-era snape (this is purely because of you lmao you convinced me) and I’ve grown to love him, but I still cannot STAND golden trio era snape. And I was wondering, not how you justify what snape does as an adult and teacher (eg threatening to kill Neville’s toad, making fun of Hermione appearance, ruining Harry’s potions so he fails etc) but why you think he does those things. I get that he had a shitty upbringing and was bullied at school, but I just still can’t feel any sympathy towards that man as an adult. Like you’re telling me that Neville actually watched his parents being tortured in front of him by bellatrix (and even if he doesn’t remember it cause he was very young he has still heard all the stories and the prophet articles about it) and so it would make sense that she or Voldemort or the deatheaters were his boggart BUT IT WAS SNAPE!! His teacher! Someone he should be able to trust! And hes his biggest fear😭.

Sorry about my little snape rant, but what I’m wondering is why do you think he bullies children? I LOVE that he doesn’t fit into the Good Guys or Bad Guys like the rest of the characters in this universe but god I just hate that man😭 (again only as an adult - marauders era snape is my lil depressed baby)

OKAY SO!!!! what i love about snape is that he's an asshole. like there is NO justifying his behaviour and i love that??? i love that we have a character that deflects and doesn't become perfect because that's so unrealistic. snape to me is proof that you can be on the right side of history even if you're not an entirely good person, and that your base morals don't necessarily connect to You as a person

saying that, i do have some thoughts !

the big one you'll see around is that he has to be mean to keep his position as a double-spy underwraps but i don't think i like that one much. i think it's truly just Him, but i don't think it always was.

for me, i like to think of golden trio snape as a traumatised man, because that's what he is - he's guilt-ridden, traumatised, abused and BROKEN. marauders era snape? he had a reason to Try. so for me it's very much, who would he have been if lily lived???

i like to imagine that, yes, he isn't a great person naturally but maybe if lily were still here (his one and only friend and the only person that mattered to him and who he mattered to) he might have tried more to be better? he might have tried to change back to the nine year old boy he was when they met, rather than staying like this. but he's so full of grief and he's so traumatised and he's so ANGRY and he has no reason to change. to try. what's the point of trying to be better if the only person you want to prove yourself to, the only person you want to look at you and say, "there you are, you're still in there" isn't there to see it? he's stuck really. does it excuse it? no. does it erase his harm? no. but godddd does it make a good exploration of this man who has Potential. he Has his old self somewhere in there but he's too angry and grief filled and lost to even bother trying, so he just lets all of those emotions overpower him and he just leans into the anger.

the anger towards neville for me is "it could have been you" which is sick, right? it's sickkkk to hate a child for the fact they lived and weren't the chosen one but grief never makes sense. so he's just a piece of shit towards this child but we can understand Why. and then harry, obviously we know why. hermione for me is partly lily and partly the fact snape is just mean

he's mean! and he's angsty! and he's broken!

but he could have been So Different. but yk,,, what's the point?

he's never belonged anywhere, no one really trusts him, he has nothing and nobody, and he has no reason to try to better himself because there's nobody alive that would care if he did, or even simply believe it wasn't a trick. so he doesn't care. puts up his occlumency walls and blocks him old self out because What's The Point?

that's him for me. an ass who could've not been an ass but he has no reason to try to fix it so he just lets it happen and maybe if he can let out all of this anger, he won't feel it so much himself (spoiler alert: wrong).

i love golden trio snape because it's such a raw depiction of what abuse at a young age and yearsssss of trauma does to someone and his entireeee character in my mind is just,,,, if ONE thing was different? ONE thing? then he could have been too. but nothing changed and nothing ever will change so you just have this character that you understand so much and you can see why he's the way he is but at the end of the day it just narrows down to him Not Trying. and that's heartbreaking. because he could have been different if he wanted to, but he didn't want to. what's the point?

(insert here: snupin and a reason to Try and boom, an exploration of who adult snape could be if he had someone there that made him want to Be Better)

[witchytakes]

this is just excusing to work with right wing, very much what TERFs do to achieve the ban of trans people, just like Janice Raymond did in 1981 because they have something in common, yeah we can work together on something we disagree sure, but for pizza toppings not on racism, not on transphobia, not on homophobia, not on antisemitism, like you guys always evade that topic when the controversial figures of anti trans terfs are mentioned

"conversion therapy and affirmation therapy are both bizarre distortions of what therapy is supposed to accomplish" No it's not, trying to convert a trans person to not being trans didn't work, and the best method is the so called affirmation therapy, there's studies who back up that, while the other there's isn't a single one

"disagree when this refers to minors and I don't agree that the public should pay for it. I'm open to private health care plans and individuals doing whatever they want." So when it comes to healthcare then it shouldn't be universal? is this what you're saying Minors should make the choice themselves, not the state, if they are disphoric let them transition, if they regret, well that's unfortunate, rarely happens, but if happens, it's the same path a late transitioned trans person goes thorugh and you don't see them wanting to ban HRT because it didn't work well

"what does that even mean? How is 'recognition' a human right? Give me other examples of how 'recognition' is needed for other groups?" Being recognized as your gender in your own identity and have the access to name change both recognized

"again, what does that even mean?" A trans woman in women spaces, trans men in men spaces, that's the thing

"What happens if I refuse?" Nothing you're just acting like an asshole, you can insist on being disrespectful, that doesn't mean you will get along with people if you can't manage to do basic education lol

"I know people who've been fired or disciplined at their work for this, even for doing it in private conversations. I know people who've been investigated by the police for 'hate speech' for this" And everyone clapped Even if this happen, like, do you really believe these people really get arrested lol? They are in fact more rewarded Do you know how much needed to them to have a hate speech charge? Do you see what this supposed persons said and did to get one I don't think it's by calling a trans woman by he See Maya Forstater, she harrassed everyone and her boss don't want her around, she make a whole ass campaign and now have more money in her pockets than what she had before Honestly go do hate speech, it's more profitable than being a decent human being

"For example if I'm a researcher collecting data about crimes, every crime committed by a man who identifies as a woman is counted a a female crime, and protesting this could cost me my career' In which world you live? I want to live there Because in real world they pretty much get away lol

"A teacher who refuses to use someone's gender-based pronouns can be disciplined" LOL at this point you make shit up do you know how much it takes for a trans student to at least be recognized? Sure happens Where is this perfect world? Because where i live (reality) teacher are also very transphobic and tends to do as much to kick out trans students out of the school or even report the trans student to the transphobic parents LOL you're so funny

"Do you support this? What do YOU think should happen to someone who doesn't use the pronouns you want?" Yeah I support basic human decency? Nothing, but the insistence on disrespect someones pronouns should be classified as harrassment, deadnaming should be a even higher felony, that wouldn't be enough to arrest, but an already advice

"I'm comparing you to extremists because I don't see any recognition that other people also have rights that might mean you don't get what you want. Am I wrong? Is there anything you don't support about trans activists so far, anything you think is overreach? You said "What they give is almost nothing, but honestly it was at least something" - so... what else would you like to see?" If I say it's extremism so I don't care

Access to legal name and gender change at all ages without parents authorization and based on self ID

Access to HRT since puberty begin (if a cis person can have the puberty they want so trans people should)

Not being fired by the job for being trans

Not being kicked out from home and if happen the parents should be prossecuted

Protections agains bullying on school

Anti trans propaganda classified as hate speech

Legal access to the spaces they belong, without any legal changes

Transphobia classified as hate speech

Trans healthcare being with trans people on charge and a true professional teaching on how to do it (because actual doctors don't)

Gender neutral spaces

Ban any communal changing room/shower

Private single stalls

Disclosing you're trans to someone isn't rape by deception

Gatekeeping on trans healthcare should be banned for a formed consent model

And I think the list would go long you would still disagree and consider myself an extremist but I don't care, I am one, I'm not trying to hide this, I'm all in to trans liberation, we shouldn't bend our heads to conservatives or TERFs, we should protest and make the change

Letter from a radical feminist to trans people

Feminists have tried to sound the alarm about trans overreach and how it harms women, and we've been attacked and ignored by the left as a result. However, the issue leaked into the broader society and normies - who are only vaguely aware of these issues - have turned to conservatives to lead the push back. However, conservatives are not opposed to gender ideology, they just have their own version and want to impose it on everyone.

Feminists stand against gender ideology of both stripes.

Protecting women's rights is important, and sex-based segregation in places like prisons, washrooms and change rooms is vital for women's protection.

Protecting women and girls participating in female only sports is necessary and fair.

Banning trans people from the military is unacceptable discrimination. Some military units are sex-segregated (sometimes just in the barracks and in training at other times), but your gender identity doesn't affect your ability to serve your country. Your sex-segregated unit can handle a little more diversity in the ranks.

Forcing people to wear uniforms based on their sex is sex-based discrimination. If there are optional uniforms available, they should be available to everyone.

If someone wants to legally change their name, that's their right.

If an adult wants to medically alter their bodies and can find a doctor to do so, that's their right.

If someone wants to add a notation that they are trans to their ID, that's their right - because your ID is meant to help people identify you accurately.

If someone wants to ask people to use specific pronouns, that's their right too. If other people decline to do so, that's also their right.

Government agencies don't need to enforce gender ideology - not the trans version or the conservative version. Government needs to protect the rights of women and of minorities and let society function in all its chaotic diversity.

The secret to a civil society isn't about getting everyone to agree with each other, it's about learning how to get along when you disagree.

Gender identity is no different than any other religion - it doesn't matter if we personally agree with it, we should still defend it against government overreach.

I know this is a tricky conversation to have, but I couldn't let this go unsaid.

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[bubaboos]

not me joining chan's live just as someone commented smth like "hey i'm 25 and i still haven't found my path and it's kinda weighting me down sometimes" 👁👄👁

[scribe-of-hael]

You screamed the stars into seeing us

So, tell me young one Who. Are. You?

-----

The one, the only, the bastard himself. Skybound Human! Starscream. Complete with a shit eating grin~ gee I sure how he hasn't committed any war crimes-

But this was a challenge for me! I wanted aomthing between 70's and 80's vibe. For his hair I wanted it to be fluffy and a bit long. The kind that can get soaked in blood and dramatically slicks his hair back - (then you wonder GURL EW WHY???)

He has a leather bomber jacket, the insgina on his sleeves but I also wnates to give him medals of sorts in his jacket!

alt colors below!!

Spoilers for later comic issues !!!

Bastard got one eye no legs and is STILL BEING A DEMANDING LIL WHINER (I hate him/aff) I had to put a hole in his head it was needed. He doenst want an eye patch and he will just wear these scars. I also wanted to scar him up to hell and back.

He has slashes on his neck , face, back, everywhere. He is just covered in battle scars.

His dog tags also have certain names on them. (If ya knowwww ya knowwww) They aren't his own and are usually tucked inside his jacket. Away from questioning eyes.

But now we get to Pre trauma bomb Starscream when he was a lil Ultchar

Dawwwwww who knew this face would be a maniac? Probably Megatron let's be real.

I wanted to give him shirt hair, a rounder face bigger eyes filled with wonder and not tainted by death and the horror of war. He's just a baby here.

[marsupials-of-mars]

.

[imperatorcopia]

i know im stupid and you will think so too but. my most fav guy texted me after 8 months and i replied

[arnold-layne]

i hate that finding a good job this day always requires networking. what about us antisocial bitches that say more words to an npc than to a human in a day. i really should be able to get a decent job with skills alone, not through someone i happen to know, because i don’t know that many people.

[fiddleabout]

didn't think it was possible to experience a more egregious level of Smart-Person Stupid than when dealing with doctors a work, but now. now. now, there are coders. god save me from smart people who couldn't find their ass without going around their elbow because i am about to kill a bitch.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

finished helluva boss and now i have Thoughts

[fadeintolight]

pont pont vesszőcske

[quietwingsinthesky]

im just saying that a guy whose worldview is inflexibly based on the idea that the only two groups of people in the universe are the controlled and the ones who have the power to control them, and that there is no other way to exist, and who has done everything in his power to make sure he’s always in the latter group. i’m just saying that it’s possible this is not unrelated to. that time when he was used as a child by rassilon himself. its possible.